#early 1900s love story

[vampirebitestigmata]

One day I'll post my essay on ldpdl's misogyny. Not today tho not to damn day

[jvzebel-x]

"He'd lived so long in anticipation of his own death that to contemplate his future was like standing at the edge of a cliff staring into a vertiginous rush of open sky."

x. "The Golem and The Genie", Helene Wecker

"I am no saint, and he is no monster for me to slay."

x. "The Hidden Palace", Helene Wecker

[eternalstateofoctober]

i dont know if i made a mistake but i’m so stressed out right now damn it

[halle18]

The Swarovskis

Chapter One: Meeting Him

          Jeremiah shakes his head, it’s the hundredth time he’s had to deal with this since agreeing on this arranged marriage. Sure, he wanted to have her powerful father eating out of the palm of his hand but the last thing he wants is to deal with Ana’s incessant spoiled ranting. “Money is no issue. Replace the fucking thing if you hate it so much.” He said with a grunt, his voice cold and stern as he took his cigarette and ran the end of it along his lips before lighting it.        

   With a frustrated sigh, Anna shakes her head, crossing her arms against her chest like a petulant child. “No! Money is not the problem. The problem is that this dress is horrid! It doesn’t match my complexion!” She turns and gives Jeremiah a sharp glare, her eyes narrowing as she looks him up and down with a look that is somewhere between disgust and annoyance. “You don’t get it because you’re a man.”      

      Jeremiah can’t help but roll his eyes at her words, taking a deep drag from his cigarette before letting out a puff of smoke with a scoff.      

    “I’m starting to wonder if you find a problem with everything I do, no matter what, just to annoy me.”    

   He crosses his own arms, leaning against the wall with a stoic expression, his eyes narrowing as he looks at her. “This is the tenth dress you’ve turned your nose up at… what exactly is wrong with it this time?”    

     Ana’s face hardens as she lets out a huff of annoyance. “Everything! The color is hideous, the cut is unflattering, and the fabric is scratchy!”         She runs a hand down the length of the dress, her fingers tracing along the fabric and scrunching up her nose in disgust. “It’s like wearing a sack!”    

     Jeremiah takes another drag from his cigarette, his eyes narrowing as he looks her up and down, letting out a long exhale of smoke. “I’m sorry the fabric isn’t up to your high standards. Maybe I should have asked for the finest silk from china instead.” He says with a hint of sarcasm in his voice, his expression remaining stoic and unimpressed.      

    Ana rolls her eyes at his sarcasm, her arms crossing even tighter across her chest, her chin raised defiantly. “You really don’t understand fashion, do you?”  

      She turns back to the mirror, studying her reflection with a critical eye, smoothing out the non-existent wrinkles in the dress. “I can’t expect a man like you to understand these things. You probably wouldn’t be able to tell the difference between silk and burlap.”      

     Ana stood before the mirror, her eyes critically roaming over her reflection as she examined her appearance. With tan skin, long dark locks of curly hair, a beautiful face framed by long lashes that framed her mesmerizing brown eyes, she had a sharp jawline that contrasted the fullness of her plump pink lips.      

   Her body was a perfect hour-glass, her curves filling out every inch of her navy blue dress. The black heels she wore peeked out from underneath the heavy layers, adding just the right amount of height and elegance.      

   Jeremiah stood as the complete opposite of the woman before him. His features were sharp, his gaze cold and unwavering. Dark hair combed back, his eyes a sharp piercing blue, his jawline dusted with stubble. His build was lean and muscular, his arms taut against the pristine shirt that was tucked into his slacks that hung low on his hips, the top two buttons unbuttoned, revealing the top of his chest. He looked every bit the part of a dangerous man, but his features were undeniably handsome.          She storms out of the room, her face flushing with anger as she stomps through the hallway. The sound of her heels against the hardwood floor echoes through the halls as she approaches her father’s study, her hands balled up into fists. Upon reaching the door, she lets her anger get the best of her, pushing it open forcefully and entering with a huff. “Paw-Paw!” She yells, her voice echoing through the room.

    An elderly and handsome man looks up from his desk, surprised at her unexpected entrance. A black Jamaican priest, his face is stern but kind, his dark eyes widening in surprise as his daughter enters the room uninvited. “Ana, what is the matter?” He said in a firm yet gentle voice, setting aside the pen he was using and giving her his undivided attention.      

     Ana ignores his question, her face still flushed with anger as she marches up to his desk and slams her hands down on the surface. “I’ve had enough!” She says, her voice laced with frustration. She looks up at her father, her eyes narrowing as she speaks again. “I can’t do this anymore, paw-paw!”      

  Just as her father opens his mouth to respond, the door flies open once again, and Jeremiah strides into the room. His gait is firm and confident, his eyes dark and unreadable as he locks eyes with the priest.    

   “What’s all this racket?” He says, his voice cool and controlled as he walks up to the desk, standing beside Ana.      

  The elderly man looks up at Jeremiah, his expression turning stoic as the tall man approaches. He looks at Jeremiah for a moment, studying him with a gaze that is both firm yet assessing.

        “I’m afraid I couldn’t say for sure…” He responds, his voice steady and calm. He looks from Jeremiah to his daughter, raising an eyebrow in confusion as he takes in her angry expression.          Ana lets out a huff of annoyance, crossing her arms tightly across her chest as her gaze flits back and forth between her father and Jeremiah.  

       “I’m talking about this…marriage you’ve decided on.” She says, her voice filled with frustration. She glares up at Jeremiah, her eyes narrowing.  

      Jeremiah doesn’t respond at first, his expression unchanged as he looks down at her. Her outburst doesn’t seem to faze him, his eyes still locked with hers, his face unreadable. The priest tilts his head, a slight frown forming on his face as he looks between the pair. “Ah, this is about the arrangement I’ve made…”    

    Ana looks over at him, her expression firm as she nods . “Yes, it is a about the ‘arrangement’…” She says , spitting the last word out with disdain. She crosses her arms even tighter, her lips pursing as she looks between the two. Her father lets out a sigh, his eyes flitting from her to Jeremiah and back, his features conflicted.    

    Jeremiah remains eerily silent, watching the exchange with his arms crossed. There’s a flicker of annoyance in his eyes, but he manages to keep his expression stoic and unreadable.  

     The priest lets out another sigh, his eyes closing for a moment before reopening, his features still conflicted. “I understand how unhappy you are with this, but I made this decision for a reason, Ana.”        Jeremiah’s eye twitches slightly at her words, his jaw clenching as he looks down at her, his expression hardening. But he still remains silent, standing beside the desk as he listens to the exchange.  

     The priest leans back In his chair, his eyes locking on his daughter, his expression stern and serious now. “You know very well why I’ve made this decision, Ana. You need to be married to a man of power and influence, and Jeremiah fits that description.”    

    Ana scoffs at this, her eyes narrowing further as she looks at her father. She’s about to respond with a retort, but Jeremiah finally speaks up, cutting her off. “She’s being ungrateful.” He says, his voice cool and controlled. His eyes lock on her, a coldness in them. “Any girl should be grateful to be married off to a man of my status.”  

     The priest gives him a sharp look, his eyes narrowing as he listens to Jeremiah’s words. He looks between Jeremiah and his daughter again, his expression stern and disapproving. “That may be true, Jeremiah. But remember, this is my daughter you’re talking about. She’s not a piece of property to be married off to the highest bidder.”        

  Jeremiah lets out a scoff, his eyes hardening as he looks at the priest . “Is that not exactly what you’re doing, by giving her to me?” He says, his voice laced with a hint of irritation.    

     The priest lets out a sigh, running a hand over his face. “I’m just trying to do what’s best for her. I want her to be taken care of. You’re a powerful man, Jeremiah. My daughter will never want for anything with you as her husband.”      

   Jeremiah lets out a huff, his expression remaining stoic as he looks down at Ana, his eyes still cold as he responds. “She does not need to want for anything. She will be taken care of regardless. But I will not put up with her tantrums and spoiled behavior on a daily basis.”    

    The priest lets out another sigh, his eyes closing for a moment. “She’s young, Jeremiah. This is a lot for her to handle. She’s not used to being told what to do. Her behavior is not acceptable, but I assure you she will come around.”  

      Ana rolls her eyes at him, letting out a scoff. “Just because YOU’RE an old man, doesn’t mean that I need to bend to your ignorant rules.” She says, her voice filled with sass. Her words hang in the air as she looks up at him, her chin raised defiantly.    

    Jeremiah’s jaw clenches, his eyes narrowing at her words. He takes a step towards her, closing the distance between them, towering over her as he glares down at her. “I may be ‘old’ in your eyes, but I’m only seven years older than you, girl. You would do well to mind your tongue when speaking to me.”      

  Ana storms out of the study after their exchange, leaving Jeremiah and her father in the room. She marches through the corridor, her footsteps loud and frustrated. Once she reaches her mother’s bedchambers, she enters without knocking, her face still flushed with anger.  

     Her mother turns In surprise as she enters, her eyes widening as she takes in her daughter’s irate expression. “Ana, what’s the matter, dear?”         Ana lets out a huff, walking over and throwing herself down on the bed, her eyes filled with frustration. “I can’t married to him. It’s not fair!!” She says, her voice laced with anger as she looks up at her mother, pleading in her eyes.  

      Her mother frowns, moving to sit beside her on the bed. She looks at her daughter, her expression sympathetic yet firm. “Ana, we’ve talked about this. Your father has made the decision, and there’s nothing we can do to change it.”      

  Ana lets out another frustrated sigh, propping herself up on her elbow and looking up at her mother. “But he’s horrible, mother! He’s cold and cruel, and he doesn’t care about anything I want!” She says, her voice filled with emotion as she thinks about Jeremiah.  

     Her mother sighs, her expression sympathetic as she looks down at her daughter . “I know it’s hard, dear. But Jeremiah is a powerful and wealthy man. He can provide for you in ways that few others can.” She reaches out and takes one of her daughter’s hands, squeezing it gently. “Try to give it a chance, my darling.”

        Ana huffs, her expression stubborn as she looks at her mother, her eyes narrowed . “I’m not attracted to him. He’s rude, arrogant, and controlling. He's the last person I'd ever want to marry.” She says, her voice firm and resolute, even as her heart betrays her words, betraying her true feelings.  

      Her mother looks at her for a moment, her eyebrow raised in skepticism. She knows her daughter better than anyone, and she sees the subtle changes in her expression and body language when Jeremiah is mentioned. She lets out a small chuckle, her voice gently teasing . “Are you sure about that, dear? You’re not even a little attracted to him?”    

    Ana scowls at her mother’s words, her cheeks flushing slightly. She looks away, avoiding her mother’s gaze as she responds. “Of course not. He’s insufferable. I can’t stand to be in the same room with him for more than a few minutes.”         Her mother smiles, her eyes sparkling with amusement as she watches her daughter’s defensive demeanor. “I don’t know, sweetheart. You seem awfully worked up over someone you claim to have no feelings for.”    

    Ana scoffs at her mother’s remark, her expression still annoyed. She quickly changes the subject, desperate to get off the topic of Jeremiah. “What do I have to do, exactly? For the ‘courting’.” She says, using air quotes as she says the word. She looks at her mother, her face still slightly flushed from the previous conversation.

       Her mother takes the hint and lets the subject drop, shifting gears to address her question . “Well, for starters you’ll spend time together at the park. You’ll go on walks, maybe have a picnic, and just get to know each other.” She smiles, a hint of excitement in her voice. “It’s an exciting time, dear. You’ll get to spend time with him, and let him get to know you.”  

       Ana’s expression turns to one of distaste, her lips curling slightly at the thought of spending time with Jeremiah. “Great. So I have to spend the next few weeks being paraded in front of this… monster, like some prize to be won.” She crosses her arms, her irritation growing.    

    The conversation with her mother continues, Ana expressing her displeasure and frustration at having to spend time with Jeremiah. Eventually, her mother manages to calm her down, and they finish their discussion for the night.      

   For the rest of the night, Ana lies in bed, unable to sleep. She tosses and turns as thoughts of Jeremiah and their upcoming time together fills her mind. Finally, exhaustion takes over, and she falls into a fitful sleep. The next morning, she wakes up early, getting ready for the day. She chooses a pretty dress to wear.      

  Meanwhile, her mother plans to watch over them while they court. She will keep a discreet distance, while still being close enough to intervene if necessary. Once Ana is dressed, she leaves her room and heads downstairs, her stomach clenched in knots as she thinks about seeing Jeremiah.          As she descends the stairs, her mind is on Jeremiah. She tries to mentally prepare herself for the upcoming day. Will he be in a good mood? She wonders. Will he have something nasty to say to her? The thoughts swirl in her mind as she reaches the main floor of the house, heading towards the breakfast room.    

     In the breakfast room, Ana’s father and brothers are already seated, eating breakfast. They greet her as she enters, but her responses are mumbled as her thoughts are preoccupied with Jeremiah. She sits at the table, picking at her food as her family continues their conversation around her. But her mind is elsewhere, already imagining the upcoming hours she will have to spend with Jeremiah.         Finally, the time comes for her to leave. Her family wishes her luck, her father reminding her to behave. She steps outside and walks to the arranged meeting spot, her heart thudding in her chest as she sees Jeremiah waiting there, leaning against a tree, looking handsome and imposing as always.      

  He looks up as she approaches, his eyes roaming over her appreciatively. Her heart quickens as she draws closer, her steps faltering slightly as she stops in front of him. He smirks, his gaze cool and appraising as he looks her up and down.    

    “You look nice.” He says, his voice cool and calm as he pushes off from the tree and straightens up. His eyes flick over her, taking in her appearance, lingering on the way the dress hugs her curves.        Ana feels a shiver run down her spine at his words, a mix of annoyance and… something else she can’t quite identify. She lifts her chin defiantly, meeting his gaze with a cool glare of her own. “Cut the pleasantries. Let’s just get this over with.”         Jeremiah chuckles, his eyes gleaming with amusement. “Feisty as ever, I see. This is going to be interesting.” He pushes off from the tree, gesturing for her to start walking beside him. “Shall we?”    

     Ana lets out a huff, her irritation at his smug attitude growing. “Fine. Let’s go.” She starts walking beside him, matching his stride as they begin their walk through the park.      

    The park is a beautiful place, filled with lush greenery and flowers in bloom. Ana notices a sense of peace wash over her as they walk, the natural surroundings a welcome distraction from the tension between them. As they stroll, Jeremiah seems content to let the silence stretch out between them. He walks with a leisurely stride, his hands stuffed in his pockets as he glances over at her occasionally.         

Ana does her best to ignore the way his eyes seem to linger on her, and she focuses instead on the scenery around them. She tries to keep her cool composure, but she can’t quite shake the feeling of his gaze on her. After a few minutes, the silence becomes too much for her. She glances over at him, her curiosity getting the better of her. “So, are we just going to walk in silence?”        

  Jeremiah looks over at her, his gaze cool and unreadable. He smirks slightly, seemingly enjoying her discomfort. “What do you want to talk about, Ana?”      

    Ana crosses her arms, her irritation growing at his smirk. “I don’t know, anything. Small talk. How about… the weather?” She grumbles, her tone dripping with sarcasm.        

  Jeremiah lets out a small chuckle, his eyes gleaming with amusement at her sass. “The weather? Really? That’s the best you can come up with?” He pauses for a moment, looking up at the sky before looking back at her. “Looks sunny to me.”      

    Ana rolls her eyes, her patience with him wearing thin. She lets out a frustrated huff. “Yes, it’s sunny, thanks for stating the obvious. Now what?”           Jeremiah smirks, enjoying her growing frustration. He takes a few steps closer to her, his eyes locking on hers. “You’re cute when you’re annoyed, you know that?”      

   As they continue walking, Jeremiah decides to start a conversation, asking her some questions. “So, tell me about yourself, Ana. What do you do for fun when you’re not being a brat?” She rolls her eyes at his remark, but responds nonetheless. “I like to read. And I play the piano. I’m sure you think that’s dull.”

         Jeremiah chuckles, his eyes sparkling with amusement . “On the contrary, I find it charming. A young woman who can entertain herself with music and books, rather than superficial pursuits, is a rare thing.”      

  The unexpected compliment takes Ana by surprise. She hadn’t expected such a response from him, and she feels her irritation and defensiveness towards him soften slightly. “You… you’re not just saying that to be nice, are you?”        Jeremiah shakes his head, his gaze locking on hers. There’s a hint of something almost sincere in his eyes as he responds. “No, I mean it. I appreciate someone who values intellect and culture over mindless entertainment. And I can say with certainty, you’re not like any other girl I’ve met before.”

       Ana is flattered by his words, feeling a warm flutter in her chest at the unexpected compliment. She tries to ignore the feeling, not wanting him to know the effect he’s having on her. She glances away, attempting to regain her cool demeanor.        “Well… I suppose I should thank you for the compliment, then. But don’t think this changes anything between us.” Jeremiah lets out a small chuckle, his smirk returning. “Oh, I don’t expect you to suddenly fall at my feet just because I complimented you. I know you’re too stubborn for that.”

     He steps even closer, closing the small distance between them. His eyes roam over her face, taking in her every feature as they walk.  

   She can feel his presence close to her now, the heat from his body radiating towards her. She swallows, trying to ignore the fluttering in her stomach at his proximity. She attempts to sound nonchalant, despite her racing heart and flushed cheeks. “Stubborn? I prefer the term ‘strong-willed.’”     

He chuckles again, his eyes locking on hers once more. “Strong-willed, stubborn, defiant… You’re quite full of yourself, aren’t you?”    He reaches out, his hand brushing a strand of hair away from her face, his fingers lightly grazing her cheek. Her heart stutters at the unexpected touch, a shiver running down her spine.

She quickly jerks her head away, trying to maintain her façade, even as her body betrays her. “I’m not full of myself. I just know my worth.”    He lets out a soft laugh, his eyes never leaving her face. He’s clearly enjoying their verbal sparring, getting a thrill out of her strong-willed personality.

“Oh, I know exactly how much you value yourself. You think quite highly of yourself, don’t you my little minx?”

  She scoffs at his comment, her irritation flaring up again at his cocky arrogance. “I’m not ‘your’ anything, Jeremiah. And yes, I do think highly of myself. Is that such a bad thing?”  

    He smirks, moving even closer, his body now almost pressed against hers. He towers over her, looking down at her with an intense gaze.      “Not necessarily. Confidence is an attractive trait, after all. But there’s a fine line between confidence and cockiness. And you, my dear, seem to be straddling that line quite closely.”  

    She scowls up at him, her heart racing at their closeness, but her defiance flaring up even more at his comment. She takes a small step back, attempting to put some distance between them. “I’m not cocky. I just know my own mind, and I’m not afraid to stand up for myself.”    

  He grins, watching her retreat with amusement. He closes the distance again, his hand grasping her arm, preventing her from moving further away. “That attitude of yours is one of the things I find so tantalizing about you, you know. Most girls would wilt under my gaze, but not you. You’re not afraid to push back.”

      She pulls her arm out of his grip, her eyes flashing defiantly. She smooths out her dress and starts walking again, her pace slightly faster now, eager to put some distance between them.

    As they walk, she decides to turn the tables on him and ask some questions of her own. “So why are you interested in me anyway? You have hordes of girls fawning over you, why bother with someone like me?”

Jeremiah walks beside her, his hands in his pockets as he responds to her question with a smirk. “Because you’re different. You’re challenging and defiant, and you don’t just fall at my feet like all the other girls. You’re feisty, and it’s... exciting.” She glances over at him, her eyes narrowing slightly as she processes his response.

She tries to ignore the way his admission makes her heart flutter, but it’s hard. “Exciting, hm? So I’m some sort of… conquest to you then? Another prize to win?”

He shakes his head, his smirk softening into a smile. “No, not a conquest. More like a challenge, I suppose. You’re the first girl who’s ever dared to defy me, who’s ever pushed back against my advances. You’re intriguing, to say the least. I find myself wanting to… unravel you, to see what makes you tick.”

She falters slightly at his words, her heart skipping a beat at the implications of what he’s saying. But she quickly regains her composure, her defensive instincts kicking in once more. “What makes you think you stand a chance of ‘unraveling’ me, as you put it? I don’t break that easily.”

Jeremiah chuckles, his eyes sparkling with amusement and challenge. “Oh, I don’t doubt that you’re a hard one to crack. But don’t underestimate me, my sweet. I’m quite determined when I set my sights on something I want. And right now, I want you.”

She can’t help the way her heart flutters at his words, the way his gaze makes her feel a mixture of excitement and fear. She swallows hard, trying to maintain her composure. “You want me? Just for the thrill of the chase, you mean?”

He shakes his head In response, his expression softening slightly. “No, it’s more than that. There’s something about you that’s different from the other girls. You’re not just some pretty face I can easily impress. You’ve got fire in you, and spirit. And I find that incredibly enticing.”

As they continue walking and talking, Ana begins to feel her defenses weaken. Jeremiah’s unexpected honesty and flattering words draw her in, causing her to let her guard down slightly. She relaxes, dropping her snarky retorts and sarcastic comments, instead asking him genuine questions about himself. They eventually finish their walk, and Ana reluctantly says goodbye to Jeremiah and heads home.

At home, Ana’s family greets her as they all settle into the dining room for supper. Her three older brothers tease her about her day out with Jeremiah, their names being Mateo, Diego, and Victor. Ana rolls her eyes at her brothers’ teasing, a small smile on her face as she takes her seat. Anita, the black maid who traveled with Ana’s family, comes in and begins serving the food. Ana’s father says a prayer over the meal, and everyone begins eating, chatting amongst themselves.

As they eat, Ana’s family talks about their day, sharing news and stories. The conversation drifts to Ana and her day with Jeremiah, Ana’s brothers making jokes at her expense, while her parents and Anita listen patiently.

After supper is finished, Anita takes Ana aside to help her prepare a bath. Anita helps Ana out of her dress and assists her into the bathtub, the warm water and soothing scents helping to relax Ana after her long day. Once Ana is settled in the tub, Anita sits on a stool next to it, ready to help with washing her hair or any other needs. Ana leans back, enjoying the feeling of the warm water enveloping her body.

She lets out a small sigh, feeling the tension eases out of her muscles. Anita, sensing Ana’s relaxed state, decides to speak up. “So… how was your day out with the young mister?” Anita asks, a knowing smile on her face.

Ana lets out a huff, her eyes closing as she relaxes in the tub. “It was… different. I was expecting it to be a dull, mundane day, but it turned out to be more interesting than I thought.”

Anita chuckles, a knowing look in her eyes. “Is that so? Interesting, you say? Do tell me more. I could use some excitement myself.” She grabs a washcloth and begins lathering it with soap.Ana sighs, her eyes still closed as she lets the warm water soothe her skin.

“Well… Jeremiah wasn’t as insufferable as I thought he would be. We actually had a decent conversation, for the most part. He was surprisingly… open with me. And he even gave me a few compliments.”

Anita’s eyebrows raise in surprise, a small gasp escaping her lips. “A few compliments, you say? My, that is quite a revelation. And how did that make you feel?” She begins gently washing Ana’s back, the warm water and rhythmic motions soothing her tired muscles.

Ana leans her head back further, enjoying the feel of the washcloth against her skin. She thinks about Jeremiah’s compliments, her heart skipping a beat at the thought. “It… caught me off guard, to say the least. I’m not used to hearing such… sincere remarks from people like him. And there was something about the way he said them… it made me feel… fluttery, almost.”

Anita smirks, a knowing look in her eyes as she continues washing Ana. “Aha, so you’ve got butterflies in your stomach, huh? It sounds like this Jeremiah character may have charmed more than you realize.”

Ana lets out a huff, opening her eyes to give Anita a half-hearted glare.“I wouldn’t say I have ‘butterflies.’ I’m not some simpering fool who falls for the first pretty face she sees. It was just… unexpected, that’s all.”

Anita’s expression suddenly becomes serious as she continues washing Ana’s back.She speaks in a firm, yet gentle tone. “You know, child, you’re getting to be the age where certain things must be considered. Your body is changing, and you need to be mindful of your purity until you’re ready for marriage. Do you understand what I’m saying, dear?”

Ana, who had been blissfully enjoying the warm water, suddenly realizes that Anita’s tone has shifted. She opens her eyes again, looking at Anita with a curious expression. “Uh, I think so? You mean the… physical changes happening to me, right? My… womanly… er… development?”

Anita nods, a serious expression on her face. “That’s right, dear. You’re becoming a young woman now, and it’s important that you keep your body pure until marriage. You mustn’t do anything… improper or impure with anyone until the proper time. Do you understand?”

Ana furrows her brow slightly, still not fully understanding what Anita means by ‘improper’ or ‘impure.’ But she knows that Anita only has her best interests at heart, and she trusts the older woman’s judgement. She nods her head, her expression a mixture of confusion and trust. “Y-yeah… I think I understand, I guess.”

Anita smiles gently, satisfied with Ana’s response. She continues washing the rest of Ana’s body, making sure every part is clean and pristine. “Good girl. I know it can be difficult to understand at your age, but trust me, it’s for the best. I’ve seen too many young women lose their purity before they’re ready, and it brings nothing but heartache and regret. Promise me you’ll be careful, my dear.”

Ana nods again, slightly embarrassed to be having this conversation with Anita, but she trusts the maid’s wisdom. “I promise, Anita. I’ll be careful. I won’t do anything… improper, I swear.”

Ana and Jeremiah are settling into a picnic by a beautiful lake the next day, surrounded by lush greenery and the sounds of nature. They’ve been talking and enjoying each other’s company, the conversation flowing easily between them. But suddenly, Jeremiah pauses, a serious look on his face.

“Ana, can I ask you something… personal?” Ana nods, intrigued by his serious tone. “Sure, what is it?” Jeremiah takes a deep breath, his eyes locked on hers. “I know this might be… forward of me to ask… but I need to know. Have you… have you ever, uh…” He hesitates, struggling to find the right words. He doesn’t want to offend her, but his curiosity is getting the better of him.

Ana tilts her head to the side in confusion, not understanding what Jeremiah is getting at.Her expression becomes puzzled as she responds. “Have I ever… what? I don’t understand what you’re asking.” Jeremiah swallows hard, realizing that he’ll have to be more direct.

He takes a deep breath and speaks with caution. “I’m asking… have you ever done anything, with anyone… intimate, I mean. Have you… had your first kiss yet?” Ana’s eyes widen at the question, her cheeks flushing crimson at the unexpected inquiry. She hadn’t anticipated Jeremiah asking about her intimate experiences. She shakes her head vehemently, her heart racing in her chest.

“No, no, I haven’t. I’ve never kissed anyone before.” Ana nervously takes another bite of the scone in her hand, trying to distract herself from the awkwardness of the situation. She fidgets with her hands, playing with the hem of her dress as she avoids making eye contact with Jeremiah, her cheeks still scarlet with embarrassment.

Jeremiah watches her carefully, seeing how uncomfortable and embarrassed she is. He regrets bringing it up in such a blunt way, and he tries to soften his expression and tone. “I apologize if that question was too forward. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable. I just… I was curious, that’s all.”

Ana manages a small smile, appreciating his attempt to ease the tension. She takes a deep breath before responding, still fidgeting with her hands. “No, it’s okay. I just wasn’t expecting you to ask something like that. I mean, we hardly know each other. I guess it just… caught me off guard.”

Jeremiah nods, understanding her perspective. “I realize that, and I’m sorry if it seemed inappropriate. I guess I just got a little carried away with my curiosity. It’s just that… you’re such an attractive young woman, and I suppose I just assumed…” He drifts off, his own cheeks coloring slightly at the implication of his words.Ana’s eyes widen slightly, her heart skipping a beat at the compliment.

She glances up, making eye contact with Jeremiah for the first time since the question was asked. “A-attractive? You think I’m… attractive?”

Jeremiah nods, a small smile on his lips. “Of course I do. You’re beautiful, Ana. You have such a natural elegance and grace about you, and your smile is absolutely enchanting.” He looks at her intently, his gaze admiring and sincere.

As the picnic comes to an end and Ana returns home, she can’t help but replay the conversation with Jeremiah in her head. His words and compliments swirl around her mind, making it difficult for her to focus on anything else.

She tries to eat supper with her family, but she ends up pushing her food around her plate, lost in her thoughts.Anita can see the change in Ana, knowing that her young charge has fallen head over heels for Jeremiah. As she tucks Ana into bed that night, she gives her a comforting smile, knowing the internal struggle she’s going through.

[jjunieworld]

THE LIGHTHOUSE ˒˒ 박성훈 ▸  𝗅𝗂𝗌𝗍𝖾𝗇 𝗍𝗈 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝗉𝗅𝖺𝗒𝗅𝗂𝗌𝗍 𝗵𝗲𝗿𝗲!

the land has always been something you desperately wished you could walk on. be like the humans and walk among them. one dark and stormy night, you are granted your wish—but, it comes with a deadly price. and you only have one month to decide if you’re willing to pay it.

pairing ⸝⸝ park sunghoon 𝑥 fem!reader 𓄵 𝓯eat. ꔛ 𝘯𝘰𝘯𝘦!

genre ⋆ 📓 ⸝⸝ strangers to lovers, angst, kinda love at first sight, smut, fluff, mermaid!reader, lighthouse keeper!sunghoon, magic, mermaid au, fantasy, early 1900s au inaccuracies, slow burn, slice of life, forced proximity, classic story of a mermaid washing up on shore with a twist, lighthouse / lighthouse keeper inaccuracies, the little mermaid references, slight smidge of horror elements

warnings ⸝⸝ death / themes of death, descriptions of harsh sea waves and storms, mentions and depictions of loneliness, reader has a lot of mermaid attributes, reader is new to the human world, unprotected sex, soft dom!sunghoon, sub / dom dynamics, a lot of skinship (they’re touch deprived) , really soft and desperate sex, a lot of yearning (sunghoon is always popping a boner), petnames (baby, darling, sweetheart, my pearl), clit stimulation, fingering, brief nipple play, creampie, riding, some aftercare (on & off page)

kipo’s note ⸝⸝ listen to the playlist (in song order) here!! hehe i spent wayy too much time on it.. (╯ ◡ ╰ “) i also spent too much time going into a deep dive on lighthouses and lighthouse keepers and how they worked back in the day,,, i hope that you enjoy!! ^^

 ͏ ͏͏ ͏ ͏͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏͏ ͏ ͏͏  ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏͏ ͏ ͏͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏͏ ͏ ͏͏  ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏͏ ͏ ͏͏ ͏͏ ͏  ❨ 16k ❩    ╱    ❨ 𝓶.list ❩ ͏ ͏ ͏͏ ͏ ͏͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏͏ ͏ ͏͏  ͏ ͏  ︵͡   𝙖𝙡𝙡 𝙛𝙚𝙚𝙙𝙗𝙖𝙘𝙠 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙧𝙚𝙗𝙡𝙤𝙜𝙨 𝙖𝙧𝙚 𝙬𝙚𝙡𝙘𝙤𝙢𝙚 (⌒‿⌒)♡

you knew that traveling to the surface was forbidden, but you couldn’t help the way that it called to you deep in the depths of the sea. like a moth to a flame, you swam and swam until you could feel the bright sun on your wet skin. until you could hear the sound of the waves crashing onto the nearby rocks and the distant chatter of the village nearby.

it filled you with such profound longing and want that the only thing that helped ease the feeling was to watch the way the landwalkers went about their days. you watched as giggling landwalking guppies darted from place to place and under their parent’s legs. as people shouted to passersby about the wares they were selling and people walking arm in arm.

you made sure you were always carefully hidden behind some rocks so that you weren’t seen and that your dark blue shifting tail blended nicely with the water. still, you watched and watched for what seemed like hours.

you wondered what it felt like to be able to walk on land, to feel the rocky surface beneath your feet. does it hurt? how does one stay upright? is land walking to the landwalkers the same as swimming to the merfolk? these were all questions you desperately wanted to know the answers to.

swimming away from the village’s edge, you waded through the fog along the ocean’s surface. you were just about to dive when a flickering light in the distance caught your eye. cautiously, you decided to see what it was.

landwalker’s buildings were already tall as it is, but this one was completely different. it pierced through the sky with a beacon of light shining from the top—almost like a second sun being held up. your eyes widened as you drew closer, ducking behind some rocks as you surveyed the area.

it was on a small island of it’s own, not too far away from the island the village sat on, but far enough that you’d have to swim for a short while to get from island to island. the building was white and a deep red color like coral on the seafloor. you stared in amazement at it, climbing up onto the rock to get a better look. a tiny building was attached to the bottom of it that looked like it had seen much better days. it was beautiful, you’ve never seen anything quite like it.

movement in your peripheral had your head snapping in it’s direction. the door of the small attached building swung open and a man carrying a box stepped out of it, the hat he was wearing nearly slipping off of his head and exposing his dark locks of hair. you ducked down on the rock a little, making sure that you were covered by the fog. he sat the box down near the entrance of the building just as a loud sound had you jumping out of your skin.

it was a deep, almost guttural sound. you tried to look for the source of it and saw that it came from the large horn near the small building. birds flew from their perches to a quieter place and you slid off of the rock, drawing nearer to the shore.

your father’s warnings rang deep inside you, yet you tried to push his words down. don’t go near the surface, my child. the dangerous landwalkers will lure you in and capture you so that you are never seen ever again. they cannot be trusted.

you hid behind some more rocks and watched him work. he kept disappearing into the small building and if you looked up, you could almost see him between the flickering light. if he wasn’t inside, he was out tidying the area around where he worked—stacking and fixing various things. occasionally, he would also look out to the sea, seemingly monitoring the waves and the fog before scribbling something down in what you think was called a book. when he did, you sunk down into the water until only your eyes and the top of your head was above the surface.

what interested you the most was how the man seemed to be alone. why was he so far away from the rest of the landwalkers? what made him different? what was this building that he was working on? you had so many question and so little answers—and nobody to ask.

you couldn’t tell any of your people that you watched the landwalkers daily. you would get into an enormous amount of trouble and would never be able to see the surface again.

instead, day after day, you watched the man work—no longer so curious about the ventures of the village landwalkers. the more you watched him work, muscles straining against his rolled up sleeves and brows furrowed, the more you noticed him. he was very handsome in a landwalker sort of way, the most beautiful out of them you’ve seen so far. you wondered if he had a life outside of this building on the shore. perhaps it was back in the small house a short walk away from the shore? was his whole life on this tiny island?

dusk fell and a cold breeze swept up the shore from the waters. you had spent the whole day again watching the man work at what you now knew was called a lighthouse. he was wiping the attached building of the lighthouse down after the recent rainstorm, frustratingly muttering under his breath.

you noticed that he didn’t talk much, only a simple, quiet word here or there. at first, you thought he couldn’t speak, until now.

“shit!” he hissed as he threw the rag down onto the ground. the paint was starting to peel off the siding on the building from the harsh winds and water. “now i’m gonna have to paint this whole building again.”

you giggled at his reaction. it must’ve been too loudly because his head snapped in your direction and you quickly sunk down behind the rocks. this was dangerous, you knew that, and it already seemed that you were getting too comfortable being out in the open. yet, you giggled to yourself more, more quietly this time as bubbles rippled up from the water. the man’s brows furrowed but he shook his head a little. “come on, sunghoon. don’t start losing it now,” he murmured.

sunghoon, that was his name. you surfaced from the water a little and tried his time on your tongue. “sung… hoon…” you spoke softly before smiling. “pretty.”

the light at the top of the lighthouse burned brightly against the darkening sky, signaling that it was past the time for you to start swimming home. you turned and began swimming away from the shore, starting your journey.

something sat heavily in the pit of your stomach and it was beginning to weigh you down. it was that same longing and want, this time more pronounced and refusing to be swallowed and digested. you stopped swimming and stared up at the bright, almost full moon in the sky.

you would give anything to walk on land. to experience life as a landwalker does and be on land. you didn’t want to be confined to the sea anymore. you didn’t want to have a tail anymore—you wanted legs. you wanted to be a landwalker, not a mermaid.

your heart racing, an old story your father once told you interrupted your thoughts. the story of a young mermaid trading her tail for landwalker’s legs.

it was supposed to be a cautionary tale, one to ward off small merfolk from intermingling with the landwalkers, but to you, it was an answer—one you were desperate for. the tale talked about how the mermaid visited a sea witch deep down in a cave at the bottom of the ocean and begged her to change her tail for legs.

the witch and her struck a deal: the mermaid was to sacrifice four of her pearlescent scales in exchange for a week on land. during said week, the mermaid had to find the witch various hard-to-find ingredients and bring it back to her by the end of it. if she didn’t fulfill her end of the deal after the week was up, her tail would come back and she would never be able to have legs again. only, swimming would not be as easy or as painless as it once was.

you made your decision. you were going to find the sea witch and strike a deal with her the same way the mermaid from the story did. what were a few scales and ingredients when you could finally walk on land? finally have your dreams become reality?

your next course of action was to find out information on where the sea witch’s cave could be.

instead of spending your time up at the surface, you instead kept beneath the water. you asked your family and friends about the sea witch in subtle ways, blaming your questions on your curiosity and love of storytelling. as days passed, the information you were provided pushed you more and into the direction you were hoping for.

it felt weird to be amongst your people again. you were so busy vicariously living with the landwalkers that you forgot how different interactions between merfolk and landwalkers were. instead of walking or running, it was swimming and tail flapping. instead of giggles, it was a flurry of bubbles and muted speech. merfolk swam with their tails on top of one another and their arms intertwined ahead of them. strangely, you felt out of place. everything felt so different.

you were going over the information you had gathered when suddenly the pieces all fit together. you twirled in excitement—the sea witch… you finally found her! you were going to have your legs that you’ve spent so many nights dreaming of, and you didn’t want to waste anymore time.

as the light rays dwindled, you quickly swam towards the location, sneaking past any merfolk who were still out of their seaweed beds. deep, deep down you swam and swam until you could barely see ahead of you. that was, until a sparkling light appeared and guided you—the witch’s torch.

you darted towards it, a nervous excitement bubbling inside of you as you drew closer and closer. when you reached it, a large opening with more sparkling lights beckoned you inside and you hesitantly followed them one by one.

the swim felt like it lasted an eternity as you twisted and turned until you saw a bright light that almost blinded you at first look. you swam towards it and surfaced from the water inside a decent sized pool in what looked like a rocky hut.

“ah, a visitor!” a voice said and you swung around. a woman—a landwalking woman—was in front of a shelf of various trinkets and knick knacks next to a table full of jars of spices and herbs. she turned towards where you surfaced with a bright smile that was all teeth. her dark, shadowed eyes widened and a chill ran down your spine all the way to the fin at the end of your tail. you could feel the waves of power radiating off of her, and it made your heart beat faster in a twisted excitement.

she was real. the sea witch was real.

she walked towards the pool you were in, “don’t get too many of those anymore, especially from the depths. must be all the stories your people tell of me.” she chortled and you tilted your head in confusion before realizing that she had made a joke a second too late. the witch waved her hand in the air at your silence, “i kid, i kid.”

pushing away from the shelf, the witch stepped towards you. her tattered dress was ripped at multiple points at the bottom so pieces of fabric hung from it and dragged along the stone floor. when she moved, the shells, sticks, and pearls she wore clacked together in an alluring harmony. she bend down at the edge of the pool so she was eye level with you, her messy hair fanning around her face.

“what deal did you come to make, little mermaid?” she asked, her eyes still wide and her smile still teeth.

you waded backwards in the water slightly, but stood your ground. you swallowed, willing your voice to speak. “legs…” you trailed softly before licking your lips. “legs,” you said, louder and with more confidence, “i want to trade my tail for legs. i wish to walk on land like the landwalkers do—be a landwalker like them.”

“legs,” the witch drawled out before tsking as she turned away from you in a large, dramatic motion. you grabbed a stone bowl from the top of one of her shelves, picking here and there at spices and herbs and trinkets as she moved about the room. “always the legs,” she continued.

your brows furrowed in worry. what if she didn’t accept your deal? what if she was too tired of giving foolish mermaids like you legs to walk on land with and denied your wish?

the witch suddenly turned towards you and you jumped. “as i’m sure you know, everything always comes with a price—and this is mine. i will accept your offer, but in return you must do something for me as well.” you nodded furiously, “y-yes! anything… i’ll do anything!”

the sea witch smiled and it lacked all of the playfulness she previously possessed. instead, it was almost cold, like she had flipped a fin.

“in one month's time, you must cut out the beating heart of the human you love the most and bring it to me.” the sea witch slowly leaned away from you, her eyes remaining on yours. “if you don’t fulfill your end of the deal, you will never walk on land again and you will never swim in the recesses of the ocean again. you will instead turn to seafoam and be nevermore. that is your price, guppy.”

your eyes widened in shock and in fear. “b-but, in the story—” the witch swiftly interrupted you, her voice harsh and grating. she leaned down to you again so fast you had no time to process it. her teeth were sharp and her eyes were almost fully black. “in the ‘story’ i gave that halfwitted thing a single day and every step she took felt like standing upon urchins. be grateful, girl, that i’m showing you kindness. now what will it be, do you accept?”

the clacking of her jewelry sounded like a ticking clock, urging you to answer quickly. “i accept!” you blurted. your eyes widened further and you gasped softly at your words. the sea witch’s sharp smile grew.

she got in the water and hooked her arms under yours and dragged you towards the stone floor. “yes, child!” she shouted and smoke rose all around you out of the bubbling cauldron you suddenly noticed. “a deal has been made—one you will die for to break! there’s no turning back!” she cackled loudly and she dragged you fully onto the ground, dropping you unceremoniously. you sat up, fear flooding your entire body as you froze.

“there’s no turning back! there’s no turning back! a debt to be made. the beating heart shall be mine! for all you have sacrificed will be paid!” the witch shouted, cackling to herself.

the room grew dark and the light from the cauldron shimmered off of your deep blue scales. before you could do much else, the sea witch plucked four scales from your tail and you hissed out in pain. she dropped them into the cauldron along with the trinkets and such from the stone bowl, mixing them all together with a hearty laugh.

you began to rise in the air and your tail started to tingle before becoming so unbearably hot. you screamed out in pain as the smoke clouded around you and left you blind to the rest of the room. from beyond the fog, you heard the witch shout, “tonight, a vicious storm will brew and take you on your journey. a month from now the same storm will return, with or without you.”

you could barely hear her between your screams. one by one, you scales started to be ripped from your tail, withering away into nothingness. the more you writhed in pain, the more it felt like your tail was being split in two. you rose further into the air and noticed the suspended pool of water hanging above you. suddenly, you couldn’t breathe. like your gills closed and you were suffocating. the top of your head rose into the water and despite not being able to breathe, you screamed—a shrill sound full of unabashed fear.

from the distance, you heard the sea witch’s voice again. this time she wasn’t shouting, but instead chuckling in satisfaction. she continued, “either way, i’ll have a heart.”

as you entered the water, you were whooshed into a current that helped you breathe again. you gasped in large breaths as you spun around disoriented. the pain you felt was unimaginable. your tail felt as if someone was ripping a leg off a starfish. except, instead of growing back the same, it was growing something else entirely. more scales ripped and withered off of you as your tail split.

you tried to think about the future. of how worth it this will all be in the end when you have your legs and you finally walk on land, living amongst the landwalkers—or humans, as the sea witch interestingly called them.

but, a thought prodded at your mind. the bargain you made and the heart you will have to bring back.

you didn’t think you could do it—didn’t have the stomach to cut out someone’s heart, but you had no choice. not anymore. who’s heart will you cut out? will you find some unsuspecting victim and force yourself to love them until you actually do so in the end you can rip out the heart they entrusted you with? it was all so wrong. what have you done?

the current led you to the sea’s surface and in the heart of the most vicious storm you’ve ever seen. waves crashed against you and pummeled you back down under the surface, yet each time you emerged again and again. harsh, stinging winds slashed across your skin, yet you remained unharmed. you hoarsely yelled out in pain and looked down at the beautiful blue tail you once had, the scales a myriad of shades. you didn’t even recognize it anymore.

instead what you saw was a half tail, half pair of legs monstrosity. it perfectly described where you were at this current moment—between the waves of the watery life you had been stripped from and being pushed forward to the dry land of the life you will come to know. in the distance you heard that loud, guttural sound that you recognized so well. you turned and saw the beacon of fluttering light emitting from the lighthouse standing tall against the storm.

a dark thought polluted your mind. you weren’t expecting to be spitted out so close to the village. you mind traveled to the man working the lighthouse as you fought against the waves to breath the cold air.

what if it was his heart you cut out?

no… you didn’t want to think that. didn’t want that thought to be true. anybody, but him. anybody, but sunghoon. you’ve grown too fond of him during the times you watched over him—you can’t let his already seemingly lonely life be cut short by getting his heart ripped out. you wouldn’t allow yourself to do that to him.

the tormenting waves seemed to have other plans for you. they took you directly towards the shore where the lighthouse sat and you started to cry.

shock jolted you as you felt wetness roll down your cheeks just as the rain started to pound down harder from a light splash. you touched your cheeks with trembling hands. the change was all too much too fast. you weren’t expecting it to be this way.

when you heard the story of the mermaid trading her tail for legs it was nothing like this. she emerged from the water like a graceful swan, a beautiful sunset behind her that reflected off the calm sea. you couldn’t help but feel betrayed by the lies you were told.

you didn’t feel graceful, you felt forsaken. this was a journey of death, not rebirth.

the closer you got to the shore, the more regret started to pierce deep inside you. it didn’t help that the storm clouds seemed to break so the moon’s light could illuminate just you. it all felt so unfair. all you wanted to do was walk on land, why must you endure all this? why must you love someone deeply only to rip their heart out? and why were the sea witch's waves so hellbent on that person being sunghoon?

why did excitement still flood in the pit of your belly at the thought of the life you may live after?

a second, smaller light flickered on at the tiny island you were heading for and you knew it was him. you watched as the small light raced towards the shore almost as fast as you were being pushed to it. the two of you were heading towards a deadly collision and you weren’t ready for it.

the waves spitted you out and you washed up onto the sand of the shore. you felt weak and dizzy and something else entirely that you couldn’t name or figure out. your stomach rumbled like the thunder and your head ached. you raised your head as much as you could and looked down at your new body. you were in so much pain that you almost felt numb.

sniffling a little, a laugh spilled from your lips and the corners of your mouth pulled upwards. you have legs. they may be painful at the moment and slightly numb, but you finally had them. you felt every grain against them and dug your legs further into the sand. the last remaining scales of your former life surrounded you like glittering rocks, you were surprised that they hadn’t withered away like the rest of them.

you looked up at the full moon, glowing and huge. like a pearl in the sky. you smiled wider before inhaling deeply. you felt brand new. maybe the whole journey was worth it in the end. a wave of sleep hit you and you struggled to keep your eyes open.

just as your eyes began to close fully, a warm light draped over your body. sunghoon’s worried face appeared in your view just as another wave of sleep overcame you, the ghost of a smile on your face.

as you drifted off into the unknown, the claws of regret sank into you again and it’s almost as if you could hear the sea witch’s cruel cackling. you can’t rip out his heart—you just couldn’t. you wouldn’t. because, unbeknownst to you, that fondness you held so deeply for him was already blossoming into something more. something dangerous.

it was a strange day, indeed, for sunghoon.

more of a strange week, actually. firstly, his assistant keeper was nowhere to be found, so he was on the small island all alone; manning all of the work and upkeep of the lighthouse on his own. as he went on about his days, sunghoon constantly felt watched—he even swore he heard a woman’s laugh before, saw the apparition of her along the shore, but it was just him. maybe it was finally his time to go mad like so many other lighthouse keepers.

now a vicious storm appearing out of nowhere? after his logs over the week have only shown mostly clear skies? it was all very strange to him.

even stranger was what sunghoon saw in the storm as he scanned the waters for any possible boats or ships. a woman, illuminated by a beam of moonlight, fighting against the waves and crashing upon his shore like some holy being. the storm came so fast he barely had time to get from his bed and light his oil lantern to go out and try to assist her.

that where sunghoon was now, holding his lantern over your bare body as he worriedly looked over you for any injuries. you seemed completely unharmed, surrounded by shifting blue scales with pearls in your hair. with skin slightly tinted blue and with slightly webbed hands, you almost looked… human—but, more ethereal and beautiful than anything sunghoon has ever seen in his entire life. you were prettier than any gibson girl appearance the women of the village sported.

realizing that he was gazing upon a woman’s naked body who he didn’t know, sunghoon quickly sat his lantern down in the sand as he shrugged off his wet coat. he laid it over you before hooking his arms under your legs and back to carry you back to safety in his quarters, making sure to grab his lantern to light his way back through the dark.

the closer to his small house and the further away from the shore he got, the storm simmered until he was at his front door and the skies and sea were almost calm again. very strange, sunghoon thought.

sunghoon laid you down gently onto his couch and replaced his coat for one of the thick blankets strewn across the back of the couch. you were completely out cold, and probably would be for a while. sunghoon shook his head in wonder as he stared down at you, “what happened to you? how did you manage to get caught naked and alone in the middle of a storm?”

his questions would have to wait for later. sunghoon rushed back outside and to the lighthouse. he climbed up the narrow winding staircase to the top and ensured that the lamp was still burning. after adjusting the flame, everything was back in order and the mechanism was spinning efficiently.

sunghoon sighed as he exited the lighthouse. thankfully, he wouldn’t have to do much cleaning up after the sudden storm. after logging everything that happened, sunghoon ventured back down to the shore—back to where he found you.

in the sand, he picked up some of the blue scales that had surrounded you and inspected them. they were somewhat transparent and flexible. when sunghoon held them out to the light, they shifted from a dark blue to a deep teal color. it only left him with more questions, but he pocketed them to ask you about later.

a yawn was ripped from his mouth and he looked out at the moon. if his calculations were correct, he still had a couple of hours until he had to be up again for the day. heading back to the small house near the lighthouse, sunghoon decided to go back to sleep until either it was time for him to wake up, or you awoke. there was no point in staying awake if everything outside was calm with no signs of changing and you were asleep.

sunghoon quickly ran upstairs and changed his wet clothes for dryer ones, making sure to bring some down for you to wear when you woke up. he sunk down into the armchair next to the couch, running his hands through his damp hair. sunghoon glanced over to you, sleeping peacefully, with a sigh. he just hoped that nothing else strange occurred.

he got as comfortable as he could on the armchair and yawned once again. sunghoon closed his eyes and let himself drift off to sleep.

you awoke inside a simply adorned house that you didn’t recognize. memories rushed towards the forefront of your mind and you recalled the events you just went through. the sea witch, your new—and no longer painful—legs, the storm, and sunghoon’s worried face. you slowly sat up and the fabric across your body fell off your shoulders and pooled in your lap.

you turned towards the window and looked out at the sky. it was still rather dark outside, but you could tell that dawn was not too far away. the light atop of the lighthouse still flickered like a beacon in the sky and there were no remnants of whatever storm brought you here.

the surface, you were finally on it. a smile grew on your face and you turned your attention back to your new legs, flipping the fabric off of you completely to gaze upon them.

they were absolutely glorious. you giggled a little as you wiggled the tiny fingers at the end of them. they felt unusual, but you supposed you would eventually get used to the feeling. another thought popped into your head, loud and demanding—sunghoon.

he was asleep in the chair next to you, uncomfortably twisted in it. you tilted your head as you looked at him. finally, you were getting a close look at a landwalker—human. you stood on your new legs, shaking and using the couch to stabilize you. you took a shaky step towards him, and another until you were basically hovering over him.

how fascinating, humans. they didn’t have any gills like merfolk did, nor the tinged blue-ish skin or tail. and from what you could tell their ears didn’t have any attached fins on them either. you touched your own ears, astonished at how different they felt before holding out your hand. they were still slightly webbed, but not nearly like how they used to be. it was all so… new.

your skin was soft and warm rather than cold, wet and almost slick. sunghoon’s hair also didn't sprawl out around him like yours did when you were underwater. instead, it covered his eyes in a dark curtain, resting softly across his cheeks. 

you reached out your hand and brushed the hair away to see sunghoon’s closed eyes, fingers brushing lightly across his skin. he really was beautiful. your brows knitted together as the tips of your fingers dragged down his cheek. did all humans look like him?

sunghoon’s eyes cracked open and you gasped softly, pulling your hand away. you took a wobbly step back. you nearly fell onto the table if it hasn’t been for sunghoon quickly reaching out and grabbing your waist to steady you. you both looked at each other with wide eyes and complete silence. sunghoon’s eyes trailed your body and his eyes widened even more before he swiftly removed his hands from your waist and turned his head to the side, blinking rapidly.

“t-there’s clothes on the table for you…” sunghoon trailed, the sleep still in his voice, as he shifted in the armchair uncomfortably. his eyes darted to yours before looking away again.

you gave him a confused look before turning to the table. you held up the “clothes” he was talking about in front of you. you turned back to him with a puzzled look. “what… is it?” you asked. you stuck your arm through one of its various holes, confused on what you were to do with it.

sunghoon shifted in the seat more as he dragged his gaze to you. he took the pillow from behind him and pressed it down in his lap. “uh… i-it’s a shirt,” he stuttered, just as confused as you were. “you wear it?”

you lowered the shirt so you could look at him and sunghoon looked at the ceiling. “wear it?” you repeated. what is a “shirt” and how does one “wear it?” there was so much about a human’s life that you didn’t know. it made you excited to learn about it all.

sunghoon cleared his throat and his brows drew together more, like he didn’t understand how you didn’t understand what he was talking about. suddenly, realization dawned on his features and he slowly looked down from this ceiling so his eyes connected with yours. “yeah,” he said slowly. you could see the geysers blowing in his head the more he stared at you, his eyes shifting along your face and your hair. he glanced towards the door before settling on you. “have you seen them before?” he suddenly asked.

“from afar on humans, but never this close! we don’t wear things such as this. it’s soft,” you smiled. you then gasped, covering your mouth with your hand. you didn’t think it was wise to let him know that you were—or, use to be—a mermaid. your father’s words came to mind again, but, as you stared at sunghoon with wide eyes, it didn't look like he was dangerous.

after all, he did rescue you from the storm and gave you shelter. he is even giving you some of his clothes, even if you didn’t know what to do with them or how to wear them. maybe you could trust him with your secret before going off to the village in hopes of finding someone to fall in love with. treat it as a farewell before you leave him to ensure your fondness didn’t grow any further.

a smile grew on sunghoon’s face and as you stared at each other for another moment, you could see him put all the pieces together himself. “well, us humans usually wear a shirt like this,” he started, motioning down to the shirt that covered his chest. “and trousers to cover our lower half. you’re, uh, naked… right now.”

your brows raised in shock. naked? how were you naked? most of your pearls were still in your hair and your hair was relatively decent still. you were completely dressed.

sunghoon slowly stood. he grabbed the shirt from you and held it in between your bodies. “i’m not sure how things work where you’re from… but here, let me help you…” he lifted the shirt and pulled it over your head through one of the holes. “your arms go through the other two,” sunghoon murmured awkwardly.

he then very awkwardly guided you through putting on the pants and you quickly learned about balance and its importance.

“thank you,” you said sincerely as you smiled at him. sunghoon sheepishly smiled back, rubbing the back of his neck. “but, i must ask one last thing of you. the village… it’s dire that i get there as fast as possible.”

sunghoon’s smile dropped. you leaned forward and pressed a soft kiss to his cheek. then, you started to make your way to the door, a lot less wobbly. the kiss was risky, but you couldn’t help yourself. sunghoon raced towards you, his arms out. “wait!” he called out.

he held you in place by your shoulders to stop you from leaving. “you can’t leave—not without someone guiding you, and i can’t leave the lighthouse. the villagers… they’ll eat someone like you alive down there. it’s not safe.” you could tell sunghoon wasn’t joking by the serious expression on his face.

what were you supposed to do now? “someone like me?” you asked.

sunghoon gave you an almost incredulous look. “you arrived in a storm completely unharmed and alive. when i found you, you were surrounded by scales and you wear pearls in your hair…” he trailed off, like the answer was blatantly obvious. “the villagers don’t believe, but spending time here, alone, at this lighthouse will at the very least have you questioning.”

your shoulders sagged. at least you didn’t have to hide what you were from him anymore—not that you were doing a good job of it anyway. “b-but… i have to go to the village!” you exclaimed.

“listen, why don’t you stay here for a while? i’ll teach you everything you need to know—human to mermaid—and after, you can go on your merry way and live amongst us on your own!” sunghoon said.

“you don’t understand.” you slumped down on the couch, crossing your arms. “it’s not safe for you, and i don’t have that amount of time.”

sunghoon quirked a brow, chuckling, “what? are you gonna eat me or something?” you stayed silent. he sat down on the couch next to you, “if you were, you would’ve done so on the shore or while i was sleeping. i promise that no angry mob is gonna come rowing here after you, you don’t have to worry. and, i’ll teach you everything as fast as i can.”

you sighed defeatedly. you just hoped it was fast enough for you to still find someone else. it couldn’t be sunghoon who’s heart you ripped out. “okay,” you murmured.

sunghoon smiled brightly at you. “now, what’s your name, darling?”

“y/n,” you replied a bit hesitantly.

“i’m sunghoon, here at your service!” you laughed and he joined in with you. you almost wanted to tell him that you already knew, that you’ve been watching him, but you decided against it. it was best that he didn’t know. “sunghoon,” you repeated instead, like you haven’t already said it before, “that’s very pretty.”

“a compliment, coming from a pretty woman like you? well, it must be! thank you kindly, miss!” he smiled playfully and you rolled your eyes. there was a pang in your chest and you inhaled. thankfully it was covered by a loud growl, causing you to furrow your brows.

sunghoon’s face lit up in realization again. “ah, right. you must be hungry. let me fetch you something to eat.”

it’s been about a week since you landed in sunghoon’s care and time was ticking down. you tried to not think about how much time you had left, instead distracting yourself by helping sunghoon around the lighthouse, but it was near impossible. it didn’t help that since the two of you were alone on the island together, you both had no choice but to be in each other’s presence and get to know each other.

sunghoon has taught you a lot about humans throughout the week you’ve been here and in turn you’ve told him how things worked under the water. the two of you were fascinated by each other’s stories and that, in turn, only brought you both even closer.

the day was clear, and as sunghoon said, “it holds no signs of changing.”

“what do you say we row over to the village? get you some proper clothes?” sunghoon asked. “i don’t think you want to keep wearing mine.” he paused from the siding he was painting to look over to you.

you halted the paintbrush you were holding, looking at his clothes that you wore. “what? do they not look good on me?” you giggled.

sunghoon’s eyes widen, almost like something clicked in his head, but a smile grew on his face. he said nothing for a moment, just stared at you with a fond smile. “of course they look good on you,” he said.

you looked away, hiding your face, as you continued painting. “that would be nice,” you murmured, before speaking a little louder. “it would be nice to see the village.”

not soon after that, the two of you were climbing up the dock at the village together. you stuck near sunghoon’s side, suddenly overwhelmed by the busy life of the villagers. as you walked through the streets, you couldn’t help but notice all their stares—their dirty looks. you pressed more into sunghoon’s side and he wrapped his arm around your waist.

“a man’s clothes!” you heard the village women mutter amongst each other. “and her hair…”

you now knew what sunghoon meant when he said the village would eat you alive. you didn’t look how the village women looked and the difference was drastic and obvious. none of them had pearls intricately wrapped in strands of their hair or even had their hair down. their hair were all put up, with flowing skirts and modest blouses or fitted dresses that showed the curve of their hips that didn’t match the buttoned up untucked men’s shirt and trousers you wore. it was all so overwhelming.

by the time you reached the tailors, you were practically clutching on to sunghoon’s side. when you entered, every eye was on you. a human woman—who you assumed was the owner of the shop—rushed towards you. “oh, you poor thing! let me fix you up!” she cooed as she pulled you away from sunghoon’s grasp.

you looked back at him with wide, fearful eyes. “it’ll be okay,” he assured you, grabbing your hand. “i’ll be right here waiting for you.”

“this will take a while,” the woman said to him, before glancing at you. at least she didn’t look at you like the other women did. it was more with pity than disgust. sunghoon nodded, sitting in one of the chairs with his hat clutched in his hands. you didn’t turn away from him until your view of him was physically cut off by the curtain the woman pulled in front of your face and he didn’t look away either.

suddenly the woman had you out of sunghoon’s clothes and in long skirts and blouses. she had you try on various ones to gauge your size, along with pulling out what she called “measuring tape.”

once you had on an outfit she was satisfied with, her fingers hovered over the pearls in your hair, a look you couldn’t name in her eyes. “pearls are very beautiful? don’t you agree?” she asked as she turned to look at your face. you nodded, still a bit uncomfortable, as you cast your gaze downwards to the floor.

“all that hardship for beauty… for a simple creation,” the woman said. “i was just like you once, little guppy.” your gaze snapped to her’s in shock as her eyes stared at the pearls in your hair.

the woman continued, and you saw the sadness in her eyes. she nodded her head towards the curtain, “that man out there, he found you, didn’t he?” you opened your mouth to speak but no words came out, so you just nodded. “he’s already swimming down deep for you,” she said, “it gets easier, dear. when it’s all over, you come and find me, you hear?”

she said nothing else—nothing else about the fact that you both crawled from the deep in hopes of a new life. nothing about how she must’ve had to sacrifice the one she loved most in order to be standing in front of you right now. nothing about if it was worth it or not—and you so desperately needed to know.

instead, she carefully untangled the pearls from your windswept hair and worked them into the up-do she styled your hair in. as she worked around you, you noticed the single pearl in her own hair, and your heart broke in two.

once she was done and the curtain was opened, you all but ran back to where sunghoon still sat, just like he said he would. as you approached, he stood to his feet as he looked over you. his eyes were wide and his mouth hung open. the woman giggled, winking at you, before leaving the two of you alone.

“better?” you asked him, glancing down at the new clothes you wore.

“you were already beautiful,” sunghoon replied, a bit breathlessly and flustered. you smiled and felt as your face started to heat up rapidly. his ears were a flaming red that made you giggle a little. sunghoon cleared his throat, blinking, “b-but, it’s a good hu—good look on you. do you like it?”

you thought it over for a moment, “there’s aspects of it that i like, some that i don’t.” you liked how intricate it all looked, a lot of it reminded you of the seabed. along with the colors—it looked like you wore a coral reef with the most beautiful and shimmering fish in it. you weren’t sure about how fitted it all felt, but you were sure you would get used to it. it bummed you that your hair was put up, but at least you kept your pearls.

“well, you can wear it all however you like when we’re back on the island, sweetheart,” sunghoon said, stepping towards you. he took your hands in his and smiled at you.

when the two of you walked back through the village, you still felt eyes on you—more snickers and muttering. on the row home you were quiet, which sunghoon noticed. in the house, he saw how the sadness twisted your features.

he guided you towards the couch, his brows drawn together in worry. “i’m sorry,” he said softly, his voice low. sunghoon watched helplessly as the tears welled up in your eyes as you looked at him before sliding down your cheeks. you touched your fingers to the wetness, confused.

“what is this?” you asked him.

“tears,” sunghoon replied. “they happen when you feel an emotion deeply—like sadness.” more tears fell down your cheeks and you buried your face in his chest. sunghoon wrapped his arms around you and held you tightly.

after a few moments, you peeked your head out and looked at him with big, teary eyes. your eyes darted down to sunghoon’s lips before looking back up at him, your brows furrowing like you were in inner turmoil. slowly, you leaned up and softly pressed your lips to his.

sunghoon’s own eyebrows raised in slight shock. you pulled away the slightest bit, your lips still hovering near his like you were frozen. for a second, sunghoon was too. he then chases your lips, kissing you again.

you lips work in perfect harmony together as you kiss each other. like the past week has been building to this moment and it’s finally here and it’s perfect. his lips felt perfect on yours and yours on his. it was as if they were made for each other and you never wanted to spend another moment not kissing sunghoon.

his hand cupped your face and you sat up more, nearly in his lap, as the kiss deepened. you kissed each other like you were desperate. like the waves were crashing around you—and they were. the time you had left flashed in your mind and you ran your hands through his hair to distract yourself from the thoughts and instead focus on him—only sunghoon.

sunghoon’s hat fell to the side somewhere on the couch and his other hand slid down to rest on your waist. you kissed each other like you didn’t need air, or water, or anything. just each other. but you did, and you pulled away as heavy breathing overtook the both of you. not far, but enough so that you lips had the slightest distance from his. your thoughts came back full force, the sand in your hourglass falling and the sea witch’s cackling.

you shook your head a little, eyes still closed. “w-we can’t… this is too dangerous,” you trailed off in a soft and low voice, your eyes fluttering open and meeting his.

“i don’t understand…” sunghoon whispered. “what is so dangerous about it?” the pads of his thumbs wiped away freshly fallen tears. you shook your head again, pulling away from him fully and sitting properly back on the couch. sunghoon sat up straighter and placed his dropped hat in his lap.

you wrapped your arms around yourself. you looked out the window towards the calm sea and felt yourself break. it was already too late. you’ve reached the point of no return, and if you continued down the path you were going with sunghoon, there would be no going back.

“this won’t end well,” you told him, “and we’ll both end up getting hurt.”

you felt his fingers gently turn your face towards his. his face was inches from yours and he pulled you closer to him as you sniffled, wrapping his arms around you in comfort once again.

“and what if i like the pain—the danger?” sunghoon asked you quietly. “what if i want to get hurt by you?”

you shook your head once again and turned your head away from him. “you don’t,” you replied. he didn’t know what he was asking, and you knew someday soon you would have to tell him. he turned you towards him again, nodding. “i do,” sunghoon said.

his lips met yours again and you could feel the harsh winds whip around the two of you. the tides bent and broke and turned. you were both caught in a riptide and there was no escaping. your fates were already put in motion.

you were a fool to think you could stop it. you kissed sunghoon back with so much passion and wanting that you were sure it would knock the two of you right over. instead, he kept you stable, kept both of your heads above the water as you got pushed by the tall waves hand in hand. sunghoon kissed you back just as feverishly.

from the second you saw him through the fog you knew that your souls would be intertwined. you knew that you would fall in love with him—there was so stopping it, and you couldn’t no matter how hard you tried.

but then you thought of his bloody, beating heart in your cold hands. his lifeless eyes staring up at you. you had to fight against your rippling love for him, there was no other option. you didn’t want the sea witch to have his pure heart, she didn’t deserve it. and you felt like you didn’t deserve it either.

but the anchor has already been dropped into the water, and by the time you hurriedly pull it back up it would already be too late.

so you kept kissing him. you let everything you felt for him speak for itself through your moving lips on his and hoped that it was enough. you hoped that sunghoon understood it all—hoped that once he found out the truth that he would forgive you for keeping it from him. you hoped that his feelings for you would change.

the woman’s words from earlier seeped between your thoughts. “he’s already swimming down deep for you.” you didn’t think it could get easier. at the end of the time you had, when it was either you or sunghoon, you were choosing him. you just hoped that, in time, it would get easier for him.

it’s been a little over a week since you and sunghoon shared a kiss that shifted everything between the two of you. you tried hard to fight against your rapidly growing love for him, but it seemed like sunghoon fought against you every step of the way. whether it was fleeting but charged touches, longing looks, or the words he spoke, sunghoon was determined to let the feelings between the two of you grow. he’s even gotten more bolder with his displays of affection.

slowly, throughout the time since your kiss, you let yourself feel all the deep and confusing and complex emotions for him. let yourself pretend that you weren’t a doomed mermaid, but a regular human girl who was falling in love.

so, you shivered at his fleeting touch, wishing for more. you hid your heated face as the two of you exchanged longing glances. you melted at his sweet and honest words, as if it was a secret only the two of you shared. and for the first time in your life, you had everything you’ve ever wanted.

“you feeling better today, my pearl?” sunghoon asked you gently. a couple days ago you lightly burned your hand while lighting the oil lamp. it was a mere sting, really, but sunghoon has been fawning over you ever since. when he first called you “my pearl,” a few days after your kiss, it came as a shock.

“my pearl?” you asked him, slight shock fueling your voice. it was later in the day after the two of you finished the majority of what you had to do around the lighthouse. you and sunghoon sat across from each other at the table with a discarded shared meal pushed to the side in the center of you both. his hand intertwined with yours, thumb caressing the back of it.

“like the ones in your hair,” he said, using his free hand to motion to them. his smile—that seemed permanent these days—grew even more and it lit up his whole face. “unless you want to be called something different…”

sunghoon leaned across the small table towards you, tilting his head. his lips were inches from yours. in a low voice, he added, “like sweetheart, or darling, or baby…”

a permanent smile seemed planted on your lips too. your face felt like it was on fire, “i’ll like whatever you want to call me. the only thing that matters is that it comes from your lips.” sunghoon chuckled and his head fell in the other direction before placing a sweet kiss on your lips. “i’ll keep that in mind.”

“i told you, i’m okay,” you started as sunghoon looked over your wrapped hand. he glanced up at you with his brows raised before softly kissing the spot on your hand that you hurt. “there’s no need to worry.”

sunghoon then brought your hand to his chest. you felt the dull thump of his heartbeat and your assuring smile faltered slightly. you pulled your hand away. “we should finish cleaning the lighthouse,” you said, looking down to your feet. you glanced back up and sunghoon nodded. you saw the worry start to settle on his face but you moved before he could say anything else.

later that night, a storm had rolled in. it wasn’t as bad as the one that brought you here, but it still scared you nonetheless. it had woken you up and the thunder shook you to your core. it made you remember that just because you were pretending everything was okay and normal didn’t mean that they were. you had to tell sunghoon the truth at some point, and it had to be soon.

you shakily slid out your bed, clutching tightly to your frilly, high-collared white nightgown, and made cautious steps towards your door. with each strike of lightning, your bedroom illuminated and you saw your shadow dance across the floor. sometimes, it didn’t look like you had legs at all, but a tail still. the more steps you took, the more some of them felt wrong. like you were stepping on hot coals or urchins.

shaking your head as you slowly opened your door, you tried to calm yourself down. it was all in your head, that’s all. everything was okay.

you made your way down the short hall towards sunghoon’s room. carefully, you opened his door, the creaking getting drowned out by the rolling thunder. sunghoon was already awake, staring out his window from his bed at the storm, features drawn in complete focus. his eyes snapped to you and his slowly opening door before softening.

you felt silly, like a child coming to a parent after a bad dream. he must’ve seen how scared you were, because he motioned you over to him. you closed his door before walking over to his bed. you climbed up onto it and sat next to him, the two of you peering out his window.

the storm was even less bad than you thought it was. mainly just a little rain and a lot of thunder. the sea waves weren’t even as bad as you thought they initially seemed.

“the storm should be over soon,” sunghoon said, looking over to you, “the waves of thunder are getting further and further apart.” his spectacles caught the moonlight briefly before he took them off. “here, you should get some sleep.”

sunghoon shifted in the bed and pulled his covers over you, urging you to lay down. once you did, the two of you laid in silence and in the darkness—besides the flash of lightning here and there. you looked over at him in the dark, watching his silhouette. “sunghoon, i—”

your mouth clamped shut. how do you even bring something like ‘cutting someone’s heart out’ up? how do you do it without confirming to yourself and revealing to him that you love him deeply? how would he react to it all? you didn’t want your relationship to change, but this road had to be crossed. you had to let him know that your time was limited together—that you only had roughly another two weeks before you’d be seafoam.

how there is no salvation waiting for you.

you decided that it had to wait another day. one where it wasn’t storming and you could see each other’s faces. he deserved that.

“thank you…” you trailed instead, swallowing the lump in your throat. “for all that you’ve done for me thus far. i can’t tell you how much it all means to me.” you felt him shift and though you didn’t physically see his face, you felt the weight of his eyes on you.

in a quiet voice, you added, “how much you mean to me.”

the warmth of his body next to yours was suddenly too much for you. how different everything felt was, once again, overwhelming. it took everything in you not to cry.

“you mean a lot to me, too,” sunghoon said in the same quiet voice as you. “more than you know.”

his arms reached out towards you and his touch felt like sparks along your body. they wrapped around your body and pulled you closer to him, until your head was resting on his chest and you could hear his quickening heartbeat as his chest rose and fell. it made you want to cry even more.

“i’m glad that you came in, i actually can’t sleep that well during storms,” sunghoon said. you looked up at him and you could almost make out his face. “and your presence is always a welcome one. makes me feel calmer.”

you smiled to yourself, your face heating. “i think i can help with that…” you trailed.

sunghoon looked down and hummed in question. you continued, “there’s a lullaby my mother used to sing to me as a child when i couldn’t sleep.” you began to hum the start of it softly.

like magic, sunghoon felt his body begin to get heavy and his eyes struggled to stay open. he yawned and you stopped humming briefly to giggle before continuing. he pulled you even closer, to the point where you were practically almost on top of him. sunghoon just couldn’t get over the way you smelled like the sea waves. it reminded him so much of everything he loves.

in no time at all he was drifting into a peaceful sleep, feeling like the calm ripples of waves were all around him. and next to him was you—the beautiful maiden who had come from the waves, capturing his heart and singing your beautiful lullabies.

sunghoon was past smitten, was past falling, he was in deep. deeper than he’s ever been before and the more time he spent with you, the farther down he went. sunghoon was in love with you, he just needed some way to put his emotions into words and tell you. there was no doubt in his mind about you not feeling the same.

the weather had grown colder than usual, especially during the night. when you and sunghoon weren’t working around the lighthouse, you were both in the house by the fire, talking about nothing and everything. you had just come back inside from relighting the oil lamp at the top of the lighthouse. “it’s really cold out there!” you exclaimed with a laugh as you walked towards where sunghoon sat on the armchair.

he has just come from lighting the fireplace in his bedroom, where you’ve been sleeping ever since that night a week ago when you came in during a storm. sunghoon extended his hand towards you and you intertwined your fingers with his. he quickly pulled you to him and you fell into his lap with a squeal while he laughed. “let me warm you up then, my love,” sunghoon chuckled, pressing warm kisses to your cold cheeks.

the fire in the downstairs hearth was already merely warm embers and it was nearly time for bed. sunghoon pressed a lasting kiss to your lips, both of your mouths moving in sync before you had to break away for air. you stared into his brown eyes with wide eyes, lips just a breath away from each other. sunghoon’s hand was cupping your cheek and for a moment, it was just the two of you in the whole world.

you inhaled sharply before kissing him again. it was full of that same passion and want from the first kiss the two of you shared. in the midst of it, you twisted in his lap, hiking up your nightgown and straddling him as your lips worked against each other.

it felt like the jar you kept all you love for him began to crack until it finally exploded, letting all of the love flow freely. it was too much to contain—too powerful to control. there was no stopping it and it all only grew more and more. it felt as if there was fire in the pit of your belly, making your skin hot and your head clouded.

you pulled away from sunghoon’s lips just enough to speak. “take me,” you whispered lowly. you saw the way his eyes widened and his grasp on your hips tightened. “please,” you begged before placing your lips back on his with a hot kiss.

sunghoon sat the two of you up so you were no longer leaning back on the armchair. it seemed like it took everything in him to rip his lips away from yours. he stood and you intertwined your hand with his and led him up the stairs.

when the two of you made it to his room you let go of his hand as he stoked the fire. you pulled off your white nightgown and let it fall to the floor below. you then crawled onto his bed as you waited, completely naked. the warmth of the flames made your already hot skin feel like it was on fire.

sunghoon froze when he saw you on the bed, his eyes wide and his mouth slightly agape. he watched as the flickering light bathed you in warm hues and made your hair glitter with all of the pearls strung in it. you smiled at him shyly, you gaze casting down for a moment before looking back up at him. you were so beautiful that it truly took sunghoon’s breath away.

he wasted no time, stripping off his own clothes before climbing onto his bed and on top of you, his lips latching with yours in a heated kiss.

you moaned against his lips when his hand slid in between the two of you and down to where you needed him the most. with his thumb, he rubbed at the sensitive bud and made your back arch off of the bedsheets. you whimpered into his mouth, wrapping your arms around his neck to pull him closer to you.

sunghoon’s thumb then traveled down farther, spreading your arousal between your folds and having you whining. his warm hands sent electricity through your body and you didn’t know how much more you’d be able to take if he didn’t do something. you pulled away from his lips, chest rising and falling heavily as your brows knitted together. “i need you,” you begged in a low voice.

sunghoon then slipped a finger inside of you, causing you to gasp and hold onto him tighter. he watched as your face twisted into pleasure and he slowly began to pump it in and out of you, savoring the way your body reacted to him and his touch. once you were clawing at his back, he slipped in another finger, curling them at just the right angle to have you melt underneath him.

you’ve never felt pleasure like this before and it made you angry that you waited so long with sunghoon. the way he repeatedly pushed his slender fingers inside you, coating them with your wetness, made every withering scale and the pain worth it. as long as you got to be with him, everything was worth it.

sunghoon pressed open mouthed kisses down your neck and to your breasts. his tongue circled your nipple before he pulled away. you were writhing beneath him, soft moans falling from your lips at the way his fingers moved. they only got louder when he would curl them at just the right moment and pressed up against your sweet spot.

he watched with a satisfied smile as you tried to press your legs together, a whimpering mess. he pushed one of your legs away with his free hand, his fingers splaying across your thigh and keeping it up towards your chest. soon, he felt your walls grip his fingers tightly before you were covering them in a pretty white. but, sunghoon wasn’t finished with you just yet. he was determined to make this the best night of your life.

helping you ride out your high, he brought his lips back down to yours as he slowly pumped his fingers inside you. your chest rose and fell as you tried to fill your lungs up with oxygen, but you still turned the slow kiss into a deeper one.

“are you ready, baby?” sunghoon asked you in a soft voice, breaking away from your lips. you nodded eagerly, you were more than ready.

he moved so he sat back on his knees, pushing your legs apart as he pulled his wet fingers out of you. you leaned up on your elbows to watch him. more arousal pooled in your stomach as you looked over him and the way the firelight bounced off of him. he looked heavenly, completely angelic. and tonight he was all yours—not the land’s, not the sea’s, yours. and you were his.

slowly, sunghoon slid into you. you gasped loudly at the feeling of being so full, so completely enraptured by him. once he was fully inside you, he leaned down to press a soft kiss to your lips. your lips moved in sync with his and you wrapped your legs around his hips to bring him closer to you.

sunghoon started to rut his hips forward, repeatedly pushing himself inside of you. he moaned at how good you felt around him, at how beautiful you looked underneath him with your pretty moans and your face full of pleasure. it was everything he wanted and more. he never wanted this night to end.

the two of you tried to pull each other impossibly closer. you were both desperate for each other’s touch and no matter how close you were, it wasn’t close enough.

you pulled away from sunghoon’s lips after fighting the urge to breathe for too long and buried your face in his neck. he pressed chaste kisses to your shoulder as your bodies moved in motion. it was like two waves colliding over and over again.

inside of you, you felt the rope of pleasure start to fray and snap. you whimpered, breathing heavily as you looked up sunghoon and the thin sheen of sweat that made him glow even more. “please,” you begged him, whining as your back arched off the bed again and your hips lifted towards his. “please, please, please.”

your head felt too clouded and it took all of your effort to even say that simple word. you were so close, so-so close. your body never felt like this before, tingly all over and on fire. it was such a stark contrast to how it felt when you were a mermaid. did humans always feel like this, or was this purely from sunghoon’s actions?

you weakly sat up, wrapping your arms around sunghoon’s neck for leverage. a desperate need overtook your senses as you rocked your hips against him in time with the way he pushed into you. the both of you moaned as the new sudden feeling.

“you feel so good,” sunghoon murmured. “so perfect.”

he sloppily smashed his lips against yours, too eager to kiss you properly with how good you were making each other feel. it felt like your bodies were made for each other—like the two of you were made for each other.

soon, the rope completely snapped and you moaned loudly against his lips, body shaking as your movement halted. more whines and moans fell from your parted lips as sunghoon kept moving. you held him tightly, scared that if you were to let go you would fall apart completely.

it wasn’t long after that you felt warmness spill inside you. sunghoon stilled, his head falling into the crook of your neck and his breathing coming out haggard. soft moans emitted from him and for a moment the two of you caught your breaths in silence.

once you felt like you weren’t in the clouds, a shy giggle escaped you. sunghoon looked up from your neck, an amused smile on his face. “what?” he asked. you shook your head as you giggled more, kissing him briefly. you intertwined your hands with his.

“that was heavenly,” you smiled, your face completely hot. sunghoon brought his hand up to cradle your cheek, his thumb caressing the warm skin, before kissing you again with a grin. “is it always like that?” you wondered.

he laughed, shaking his head a little. “not in my experience—no. nothing close to that,” he replied. “you’re just special.”

a sheepish smile tugged at your face and you looked away from his gaze. sunghoon pressed a kiss to your jaw and you giggled more as he pressed another to your neck. “come on,” he murmured against your skin, “let’s get you cleaned up, darling.”

after the two of you were cleaned up, you laid together on his bed beneath the covers, the dwindling firelight illuminating the two of you. your back was to sunghoon’s chest and he trailed the tips of his fingers along your shoulder and arm, sometimes softly kissing it.

you turned to face him and he fondly smiled down at you, causing his expression to mirror on your own face. he leaned down to kiss you. “my pearl,” sunghoon whispered affectionately before kissing you again.

the next day, the air around you and sunghoon was charged. no longer were the touches fleeting and the two of you shared longing glances. everything was practically out in the open now, one of you just had to bridge the gap completely.

a deep rooted sensation bubbled inside you and you could only describe it as fear. you had to tell sunghoon about the sea witch’s deal, and you had to do it today. you were running out of time—with only a week left—and it couldn’t be put off any longer.

it made the fear in the pit of your stomach worse when you noticed how sunghoon looked at you—how he always looked at you. it was full of love and hope and yearning. you could almost see the words forming at the tip of his tongue without him needing to say anything.

it made you feel guilty that you waited until the last moment to say anything.

sunghoon couldn’t keep his eyes off of you for the whole day. he kept falling behind in his duties because he was too busy focused on you. too focused on the way your dress swayed as you moved, or the way the pearls in your hair glittered in the sunlight, completely free from the up-do that the women of the village wore. or the way you smiled at him every time you caught him staring, that smile that he would do anything and everything for.

the fire lighting the lighthouse was nothing compared to the fire that burned in his heart for you, so blinding that it was the only thing he could make out. you set him alight, made his skin hot and his cheeks rosy. sunghoon felt like he didn’t even need his thicker, wool clothes with you around him. you made his heart race and race until he was sure it would go jumping out of his chest and into your gentle hands.

how could he not love you? from the moment he saw you it felt like something clicked into place within himself. like you were the final piece he’s been waiting for and he was now complete. you completed him.

if you were the lighthouse, sunghoon was the boats and ships drawn to your light with the excitement of land. for the rest of his days, his soul would desperately call out to yours until you came home to him. he was the moth and you were the flame—and he would gladly get burned by your heat if that meant he could be with you, however brief.

you were springtime with the promise of pretty, blooming flowers. the sunlight bouncing off the ripples of the sea and the cool air that flowed up from it. you were the shadows that the leaves cast on the ground and the calming sound of the remnants of waves hitting the rocks. sunghoon could shout from the top of the lighthouse everything he adored about you, but by the time he would be anywhere close to finishing you both would be old and grey, skin wrinkled from all the times you made him laugh and smile.

today was the day, he had to tell you how he felt. he couldn’t keep it locked inside him any longer.

after the two of you finished everything for the day, sunghoon pulled you inside and away from the chilling winds. he sat you on the couch and nervously twiddled his thumbs as he forced the words from his mouth, and once he started he found it even harder to stop.

“i love you,” sunghoon finally breathed. “i love you so much that it’s too much to contain. it spills out of me like uncontrollable rivers. i could tell you over and over and it still wouldn’t be enough—i love you, i love you, i love you!”

he grasped your hands in his, desperately holding onto them as he stared into your eyes with furrowed brows. nothing would be able to capture sunghoon’s love for you and it frustrated him to no end, yet, it didn’t stop him from trying. “i love you like the water loves the land. like the sun loves the moon and all of the stars in the sky,” he finally concluded.

you stared at him with a melancholic look and for a moment sunghoon thought that he might’ve been mistaken. that he read into you a little too much. but, all his worries were eased when you flung yourself into his arms and into his lap, making him fall back against the couch from the edge. you kissed him so passionately that it took his breath away again, but he was content with the burning in his lungs.

“i love you,” you told him, like you had discovered the secrets to the world and it all lied within him. “you paint all of my skies the most saturated colors of blue like i’ve never seen before. you’re the air in my lungs and the beating of my heart—oh, i love you so much!”

all sunghoon could do was laugh joyously as he held you close to him, planting a million and one kisses onto your face as you, too, laughed. he didn’t think he’d ever be this happy in his life, and it was all because of you. no longer were his days lonely and grey; they were filled with the most magnificent colors and your presence.

you didn’t realize the tears that began to fall down your face, or how the overwhelming fear in your stomach came to the surface until you got a good look at sunghoon’s happy face. you inhaled sharply before it was all too much and you broke down completely. at first, sunghoon thought they were happy tears until he saw the way you violently shook and his smile faltered.

he pulled you to his chest as his hand rubbed comforting circles against your back. “you’re crying, my pearl? why are you sad?” he asked you he gently, pulling you away from him so he could see your face.

you shook your head, sniffling and wiping the tears from your cheeks. “i’m happy! i’m so happy for the first time in my life and it’s because of you,” you started. “only, i’m still that naive girl i was when i first washed up on your shore, because this can’t last…”

sunghoon’s brows drew together further. “what do you mean, my love?”

and so you told him everything. about how when you were a mermaid you dreamed of having legs like the landwalkers did, dreamed of walking on land and leading a human life. you told him how you would watch the villagers and then how the lighthouse caught your attention and you saw him from the water for the very first time and knew that he would always have your heart. you told him of the childhood story your father use to tell you of the mermaid who wished for legs and the sea witch who granted it.

finally, you told him about how you sought out said sea witch and found her, making a wish for legs of your very own. about the precedent of the deal and how it required you to cut out the beating heart of the human who you loved the most—him. then, you told him how you could never go through with it, how you’d rather throw yourself to the sea and become seafoam before ever thinking of hurting him.

sunghoon sat quietly with a slight look of horror as you spoke, intently listening to every word that fell from your mouth. “don’t you see why i told you it was dangerous for us to get closer? why it’s not safe?” you cried. “and it’s all my fault… i should’ve insisted that you take me to the village instead of staying. now we only have a week left before i leave you forever.”

another moment passed as you cried and cried and sunghoon held you as tightly as he could, fearful that you’d crumble completely in his arms. he struggled to wrap his mind around the whole thing—around the fact that your time together was limited. 

sunghoon couldn’t bear living without you, that was the only stable thought in his mind.

he took your face in his hands and gently wiped away your tears with the pads of his thumbs. it broke his heart to see you so sad, so defeated. all sunghoon wanted to see was your beautiful smile again.

“why did you think i’d let you sacrifice yourself for me?” he asked. as if he’d let you do such a thing. he would rather carve out his heart himself and throw it to the sea if it meant you could keep the life you dreamed of.

you threw his words back at him, “why did you think i’d let you sacrifice yourself for me? it’s not a life if you aren’t in it.”

“because my heart already beats for you.” you shook your head at his words but sunghoon just nodded. “it does. and i want you to have everything you’ve ever wanted, even if it’s at the cost of my own life.”

“no…” you shook your head as more tears fell from your watery eyes. “no,” you stated more firmly. “this life means nothing to me without you. i’m not giving her your heart and neither are you. it’ll be hard when i’m gone, but it will get easier with time. we just have to make the most of the week we have left.”

sunghoon just tilted his head at you and shook his head as tears of his own fell from his eyes. it wouldn’t get easier, and no matter how close he held you, it wouldn’t be close enough.

in the days leading towards the end of the month you were given, you and sunghoon spent every waking moment together. duties were cast aside to only its bare bones and deemed unimportant. you spent time leaving little pieces of yourself on the tiny island. you had taken some of the pearls from your hair and sewn them onto the hat that sunghoon always wore; he even let you weave some of them into the strands of his hair.

a storm had begun to brew along the horizon of the sea that left everything dark and cloudy. you knew that the storm was for you—for him, and it saddened you deeply. it also filled you with a grim determination. the sea witch wouldn’t have sunghoon’s heart. you would die making sure that was true.

it felt as if all hope was lost. like a blanket of complete darkness covered the two of you and you walked lost through it. the majority of the week was spent as if you both were mourning each other, and you were. sunghoon just couldn’t believe that this would be the last time he would ever see you again—he refused to believe it.

he ensured that he had as much physical attachments of you two together as possible, even going so far to hire a photographer and have your pictures taken. at night, he could hear you weeping and he couldn’t do anything to comfort you except hold you. it wasn’t enough for either of you. how could the two of you possibly pretend to be happy when you both knew that the end was near? that the two of you were doomed from the very start?

it was like ice replaced all the warmth inside him and froze him down to the marrow in his bones. the only spark inside him was his undying love for you.

it felt strange to feel such deep and heartbreaking, mournful sorrow over someone who was still living. like his one true love was already taken from him.

how would sunghoon live on once you were gone? everywhere he goes he would search for you, whether that be beneath the empty covers of his bed or between the flickering light of the lighthouse. would he see someone at the village and think that it was you, only for them to turn and he’d see that it wasn’t? would he see the glittering sunlight along the water and think that it was the pearls in your hair—that you’ve returned home to him? he couldn’t bear it all.

but, he couldn’t do anything to stop it. the final day was here and the storm that was previously brewing in the horizon raged on, demanding to be felt—demanding the heart it came for. unease sunk deep into sunghoon, and as you both watched the storm and harsh winds from the window he held you close.

“please,” sunghoon begged, voice hoarse, barely above a whisper and half-muffled from his face buried in your hair, “please, don’t do this. we can figure out another way, just… just don’t go.”

sunghoon had been crying all night and the storm didn’t help one bit. even your lullaby only barely managed to make him fall asleep. he didn’t want to miss a single precious second with you by sleeping. he had the rest of his life without you to sleep.

“it’s too late, my love,” you said somberly. you shifted to face him, tears welling in your eyes. “there’s no other option. i have to do this. it’s the only way… you’re the land and i’m the sea—we only touch for a brief moment.”

you pressed your lips to sunghoon’s firmly, letting all your passion and love for him seep through it. no matter how much your lungs ached and your head pounded, you both didn’t break away. if it was going to be your last kiss, it would be one you’ll both remember forever.

only when you felt like you were about to pass out did you gently pull away from him. a strike of lightning followed by a vicious roar of thunder sounded. “it is time,” you whispered.

you stood from the couch, forcing yourself to break away from sunghoon and the life you cherished so deeply. you bent down to give him one last hug. “i love you, forever,” you said, “and i’ll miss you for even longer.”

“i love you,” sunghoon said, his voice breaking into a cry as tears slid down his face. “i miss you.” with bated breath, sunghoon looked up at you through his tears, “i’m sorry.”

you shook your head at sunghoon as you stood to your full height, your hand falling from his face and you wiped away his tears. you inhaled sharply and you got one last look at him, one last look at him to burn into your mind before you turned to seafoam.

you took in every inch of him, down to the hat with your pearls sewn onto it discarded at his feet and the pearls woven into his dark hair as he ran his hands through it. sunghoon was so drastically different from when you first met him, yet, completely the same all at once. it broke your heart into a million pieces to see him this way and have it be all because of you.

inhaling deeply, you turned your back before he could convince you to stay. your hand lingered near the door and you turned back to him one last time. “goodbye, my love, my sunghoon.”

with your last goodbye, you opened the door and faced the storm.

there was no use in delaying the inevitable. you stomped towards the water, stripping off your clothes and your last shred of humanity. anger permeated you, hot like the flame of the flickering lighthouse.

it was so unfair. it was so unfair that you couldn’t have the one thing you’ve ever wished for. but you guessed that it was no easy wish going against nature. a thing belonging to the sea cannot step onto the land without consequences—and here you were, facing them. walking headfirst back to the sea—to your own death, like one would if they had pockets full of stones.

you barely got to your knees in the water before red-hot pain spread throughout your legs, the same pain that you felt when they formed from your tail. soon after you were falling to the water, your deep blue, color shifting tail emerging from behind you. you dived underwater, thankful for once that mermaids couldn’t cry.

you began to swim further out into the sea, watching as more and more of your body transformed back to its original state. the entire time you thought of the sea witch, of how you hated her and her cruelness. she did this to you—she let you dream of hope only to turn the lights back out. you never should’ve made that bargain.

above you, you saw the water ripple like something was dropped in. you wouldn’t have thought anything of it if not for the feeling against your tail. you stopped swimming and twisted to look behind you.

shock filled you and your eyes widened. sunghoon swam towards you, clothes flowing in the water as he got closer.

no. what was he doing here? doesn’t he know how dangerous it is for him to be in the sea at this moment? you wanted to lecture him, scream at him—but, all that filled you was the love you have for him.

sunghoon reached out his hands toward your face and gently grabbed your cheeks. he swam forward and placed his lips onto yours. you should’ve known that he wouldn’t let you go alone, that he would be there with you until the very end—even if you told him over and over that it would only make the pain worse.

you pulled away and let yourself smile at him one last time—for the first time as what you truly were. that smile quickly faltered when you saw all the red start to seep out from around the two of you, feeling the knife against your chest.

looking down, you gasped and bubbles of air floated towards the surface. lodged in sunghoon’s chest was a knife with blood rapidly coming from it. you shook your head at him, brows knitting together in anguish, and sunghoon just nodded.

you refused to let him do this—to let him die. to let him die for you. it wasn’t supposed to be like this. it was supposed to be you, not him. you were supposed to be the sacrifice.

you linked your arms under his and swam as fast as you could to the shore, bringing sunghoon towards the surface and fighting against the harsh waves. every second felt like a grain of sand in an hourglass, and you didn’t have much sand left. you now know what he meant when he said “i’m sorry.”

sunghoon didn’t have much time, you knew that from the way he began to cough violently. you dragged him as far up on the shore and as far away from the water as you possibly could with the hindrance of your tail. the sea witch wouldn’t have him, you will die making sure of it.

you started screaming for help until your voice was hoarse, but it was no use against the whipping winds of the storm. nobody would hear you on this tiny island away from the village anyway. “why?” you asked him, tears falling from your face, “why would you do this? the sea doesn’t deserve a heart like yours.”

sunghoon grabbed your hands and brought them to the hilt of the blade in his chest. “take it… it’s yours. it will always be yours,” he said hoarsely. blood spilled past his lips and you cried harder. “go, be free. walk on land and live the life you’ve always wanted. be human.”

he violently coughed more and more blood coated his lips.

“it’s not a life i want if it isn’t with you,” you cried, removing your hands from the hilt and pressing them to his wound. your hands were stained but the blood wouldn’t stop.

sunghoon took your hands in his, “it’s not a world i want to live in if you’re not by my side, my pearl.”

with the last of his strength, sunghoon wrapped his hands around the hilt and harshly pulled the blade from his chest. you gasped as more blood gushed from the wound and stained his shirt red. “no, no, no!” you sobbed louder with each word.

“kiss.. me… one last time?” sunghoon heaved in question. his eyes started to close but he fought to keep them open—he wouldn’t waste any more precious seconds.

you couldn’t believe that it was all ending like this—that it all could come to this. you stupid, half-witted, naive little guppy. how dare you dream of a life you could never have?

you sniffled and nodded. you didn’t care that his blood would be on your lips, you bent down to press yours to his anyway. as they moved in sync you could feel the life draining from him and you pulled away, letting him get as much oxygen as he possibly can. it wasn’t supposed to be this way.

sunghoon smiled up at you and it was the last glimmer of light in the darkness as the rain poured down around the two of you. he cupped your face gently, his hand trembling. “my pearl…” he whispered, “my y/n… i love you so much.”

with those last words, sunghoon’s eyes closed and his hand fell from your face and into the wet sand below.

you looked down at him with wide, watery eyes. a loud sob ripped through you and you cried until your chest felt like exploding and you could barely see from the burning tears. you raised a shaky hand and placed it softly on sunghoon’s chest where his heart resided. it no longer beat. he was gone, truly… gone.

you took the knife laying limply in his other hand and threw it as far away from the two of you as you could. you then laid your head on his chest like you did all those nights ago in the bed you shared, only, it wasn’t the same.

sunghoon was gone. his warm body was now cold and his beating heart had stilled. all that was left was you—and soon, even you would cease to exist.

you felt tingling in your tail, little stabbing pains that would hurt if you didn’t feel so numb right now. you knew that you were withering away—turning into seafoam like the sea witch promised with only your heart to leave behind so she could collect it. you welcomed it, for you had nothing left.

let her take your heart, so long as she doesn’t touch his.

softly, you began to hum the lullaby your mother used to sing to you as a child. you hoped that it would aid sunghoon on his journey beyond, that the storm would no longer make him anxious and instead he felt calm. that it would gently lull him to where he needed to be.

more tears slid down your wet cheeks from the lack of sound in chest. how it didn’t rise and fall with his breathing. but, you continued humming.

the fin of your tail started to turn first. seafoam overtook it and fell away into the sand in a pool of foamy white. you closed your eyes as it spread further and further up your body. you hummed until you physically couldn’t anymore—until your entire body was seafoam and so were your lips. until you were nothing but a beating heart against sunghoon’s still chest.

the storm began to melt away, the dark clouds very slowly rolling back towards the magic that casted them and the rain traveling upwards towards them. it is unknown how long the remnants of your bodies laid in the wet sand, curled into each other.

there was no telling where sunghoon ended and you began.

deep down below at the sea floor there is a rumbling. a loud, angry scream follows and it is said it can be heard for miles. the sea witch tries with all her might, but her waters are just too far away from where the two lovers lie. she is unable to take their hearts, for they are their own—they belong to each other and no one else. and soon after, your heart turns to seafoam too. the two of you, at once, were home with each other.

while the law searches the tiny island to figure out what came of the lighthouse keeper, they find a picture of a woman with pearls in her hair—similar to the pearls found in the lighthouse keeper’s hair—and a shifting blue scale. the picture and scale was hidden in a pocket close to his chest and free from any blood. the woman was never found and the villagers have no recollection of her—despite the various photographs around the lighthouse keeper’s small home.

through the breaking light of the dawn, it is said you can see two souls turn to one.

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[starry-simming]

i have a lot of ideas for the Beckhams going into at least the 50s, i just have to get back into it. i think its good to take breaks and do other stuff, ive been having a grand time doing strangerville and sharing that. but i also am excited especially to get to the 20s and 30s with the Beckhams

[bootlegspiders]

Hey, so for Watcher fans who may not wanna pay for another subscription or just wanna watch something new here are some other youtubers you should take a look at if you want to get a spook or learn some history

(* = potentially triggering topics covered usually associated with crimes, so be careful)

Ghost Hunting and general spooky vibes:

AmysCrypt - Your typical ghost hunting show with two Australians traveling the world, though I will say they do go to places I've never heard of before and they do very good research. And there are some goofs along with the spooks.

The Ouija Brothers - Two British dudes finding ghosts in England. The vibes are generally pretty chill and it's a good time

The Paranormal Scholar - A mixed bag of all paranormal happenings from ghosts to demons to cryptids and aliens. Sort of an overview to deepdives on various paranormal occurrences. The research is immaculate and their voice is very soothing in my opinion.

Paranormal Quest - Ghost hunting in the US, sometimes goofy sometimes serious, but they do go to some interesting places and some familiar ones too

Weird History:

ObsoleteOddity* - This guy is great, like 80% of the things he covers I've never heard of before. Very atmospheric, fun little visuals, and a large variety of weird events and people for topics.

Georgia Marie* - A little bit of everything, but she focuses on strange things that have happened, lgbt history, true crime, and historical disasters. She covers enough of everything that I'm sure you'll find something

Stefanie Valentine* - I'm not sure if she even posts anymore, but I thought what she was doing was great. Think Vampira or Elvira but for older true crime and ghost stories, I think the latest covered would have been like early 1900s. Idk I just thought it was like a cute spooky lil storytime

Caitlin Doughty or Ask A Mortician* - Pretty sure y'all would know who she is but just in case, she's a mortician who covers topics relating to death! From odd ways people have died, or odd things that have happened to people after they've died. And just odd or tragic things that have happened through history. It's silly, but done with levity and care and respect the topics deserve.

General History:

Part-Time Explorer - Mostly history on ships and ghost towns with the occasional train. Lots of research and interviews, very well done and worth checking out even if it may not be your thing.

History's Forgotten People - Talks about sometimes obscure, or sometimes not, historical individuals. Even if you've heard of the person in the topic, they'll talk on something obscure about that person.

History Tea Time with Lindsay Holiday - A heavy focus on royalty around the world, a generally upbeat dive into historic individuals.

(Or you could always go watch time team, that's an option and it's my guilty pleasure love me some archeology)

True Crime:

There are so many out there, so I'll just recommend two of my favorites

Gabulosis* - She focuses on vintage cases 20 years or older (literally in her opener) and is well researched and respectful. Another one that talks on cases I've never heard of that deserve to be heard.

Mysterious WV* - True crime and missing persons based in the West Virginia area and neighboring states. Idk how to even explain the vibes. This guy is just great please watch him trust me you won't be disappointed.

That's all for now, feel free to add your own recs out there!

[jayahult]

Not to get too intense about it, but I really do love a good retelling, but my criteria for good retellings are... not high, but perhaps more specific than they are for most people. If I had to make a list

A good retelling must understand the original text and its context. If one is retelling a Greek myth, you must understand not only the plot of the myth, but the author should also at least understand the intent behind the myth, both in charitable and uncharitable interpretations.

A good retelling must add something new by telling this story again. You can't just say that this is the same story... but in space! You have to know that the creation of a different context for a story fundamentally creates different themes and understandings, and take advantage of that. To go back to Greek myth, Hadestown is fundamentally a retelling of the story of Orpheus and Eurydice. However, instead of solely focusing on Hades as a figure representing Death, Hadestown focuses on Hades as a patron of the wealthy, the lord of all wealth hidden beneath the earth as much as the bones that also lay there. The story is then reframed as not just the story of Orpheus and Eurydice but also of the story of an early 1900s company town wherein Hades is the exploitative boss. Orpheus is voice of the downtrodden, traveling to this place of the downtrodden and trying, in his own way, to affect some tiny bit of change. In what I'd consider one of the seminal songs in the musical, "If It's True," where his simple action of singing this question about whether this is the only way things have to be awakes the deadened workers and their collective force makes Hades respond.

A good retelling must stand on its own even if the audience is unfamiliar with other tellings. Knowing the original should enhance the experience, but it should not be necessary. Sorry to keep using musical examples, but The Tain by The Decemberists is still a great song with solid lyrics, even if they're abstracted from the original story of The Cattle Raid of Cooley. They change the lyrics to more modern ideas, with references to Charlemagne, cars, and so on, but the through-line of the story is very clearly there. The story even ends with a direct question to Medb - was all that really worth it?

I dunno where I was going with the rest of this, but those are my thoughts on the matter.

[emeraldcity1900]

the history of animation in a nutshell

Early 1900s: hey what if comic strips could like move?

Late 1910s early 1920s hey what if we mashed this up with live action people?

late 1920s: hey what if this thing had sound?

Early to mid 1930s: hey what if this had people actually talking and also color?

late 1930s: hey you know that super cool movie that one lady animated with paper cut out silhouettes? What if we did that with painted cells? Would people even pay to see that? Never mind it turns out the answer is yes.

1940s: ah shit most of our animators got drafted and/or hate us now cause we weren’t paying them. IT’S PROPAGANDA TIME BABY. Also haha hitler got hit with a mallet and also the most racist depictions of Japanese people ever.

1950s to 1960s : oh what’s this newfangled thing? Television? What if you could air cartoons on it? Oh fuck no I ain’t paying that much to get the charecters to have different backgrounds and for the charecters to like, move fluidly. Also manga and anime are steadily growing more popular.

1970s: (Ralph Bakshi walks into a comics store and finds a furry comic) X rated animated movie? *cue the screams of mothers and their unsuspecting children now being introduced to the revolutionary idea that cartoons don’t equal kids stuff? WHAT IS THE WORLD COMING TO?

1980s to 1990s: we can have full on animated Broadway musicals? Wait, what do you mean animated movies can count for the Oscar’s? What do you mean now they get their own catagory because the academy still thinks their for babies? Anime and manga are taking off in the west. SWEET JESUS WHAT DRUGS ARE THE JAPANESE ON SHOWING THIS SHIT TO KIDS. But also why is it so fucking good. Maybe some of these aren’t even meant for kids? Wait We can sell toys to kids with cartoons? Wait we can actually put effort into these cartoons on television? The fuck to you mean we can animate in 3D now? What do you mean we can have well animated, well written sitcom shows like the simpsons? What do you mean you can make cartoon charecters say fuck? What drugs are creators at Nickelodeon on? Do I even want to know?

2000s: oh my god, there is this one show that I really like cause it’s really well written and genuinely funny but I can’t talk about it because it’s animated and we all know cartoons are for babies right? Oh look it’s the transformers movie, look how far CGI has evolved so we can make the transformers in a movie.

2010s: holy shit I know these shows are for kids but they’re just well written and have so much meaningful things to say about the world. Wait, it’s cool to like cartoons now? They they have fandoms for this? Fuck yeah I’m in. (Enters one of the most notoriously toxic fandoms of all time) THEY HAVE GAY PEOPLE IN THESE SHOWS NOW? AND COMPLEX EMOTIONAL STORYTELLING? AND ADULT ANIMATED SHOWS CAN BE MORE THAN JUST SITCOMS WITH THE SAME JOKES AND STYLE? WHY IS IT THAT EVERY DISNEY CARTOON SINCE GRAVITY FALLS INCLUDE THINGS THAT GET MORE AND MORE FUCKED UP? WHY DO I FUCKING LOVE IT? WHY THE FUCK DID DISNEY DO THE OWL HOUSE DIRTY LIKE THAT?

2020s: I got this show I wanna pitch but it dosen’t fit into any box that the networks want and also I’m afraid that they’ll just randomly cancel it before I can finish the story I want to tell. Wait, I can just post the pilot on my YouTube channel, see if anybody actually likes this thing I made and just make the show independently? FUCK THE NETWORK! I AM THE NETWORK

[slavic-roots-western-mind]

Main types of Chinese Opera pt. 1

There are many different types of chinese opera, so here are some of the main ones!

Peking Opera 京剧 (Jīngjù)

This is probably one of the most well-known operas, originating from Beijing during the Qing dynasty. There are 4 main roles:

1.生 (shēng), which is usually an older dignified male character such as a scholar, which can be divided into older, younger and martial 生 aka 武生 (wǔshēng)

2. 旦 (dàn), a female role which was previously played by men as women were not allowed to perform during the Qing dynasty, but nowadays both men and women can play this role. This role has several subtypes:

闺门旦 (guīméndàn), a young unmarried high-status virtuous woman, whose main focus is singing.

正旦 (Zhèngdàn)/青衣 (Qīngyī), an elegant, middle-aged, usually married woman who mainly sings.

花旦 (Huādàn), a young woman who unlike the Guīméndàn focuses on speech and movement.

武旦 (Wǔdàn), this is a martial arts role with quite a lot of stunts and fighting with rare singing moments

刀马旦 (Dāomǎdàn), a young brave warrior, who usually focuses on acrobatics, singing and dancing unlike the Wǔdàn.

老旦 (Lǎodàn), is an older female role, usually with a lower singing voice.

彩旦 (Cǎi dàn), is more of a clown role, which is apparently more commonly performed by men

4. 净 (Jìng), a "rough man" role, usually has a vibrant and strong character, which has heavy face painting.

5. 丑 (chǒu), the clown role, which is one of the most physically demanding roles due to the acting and acrobatics combo, despite being considered as a minor role.

There are over 1400 stories used in Peking Opera, with 2 traditional types, civil and martial. Civil focuses on the relationship between the characters and is usually about normal daily occurrences, whereas martial is more about action and fighting. Another more modern type of differentiation divides the plays into traditional (pre-1949ish), plays created after 1949, and contemporary plays.

Kunqu Opera 昆曲 (kūnqǔ)

This is one of the oldest types of Chinese opera, originating from Kunshan, combining signing, dancing and martial arts. It features similar characters like the Peking Opera with another character 末 (Mò), who is an old man with a long beard.

However, there are some differences, as Kunqu uses softer, melodic music and different instruments such as the flute as the main accompanying instrument rather than Peking Opera's stringed instruments. The types of stories are also different, as Kunqu's focus more on the romantic and poetic aspect, exploring various classical stories. Peking Opera's stories tend to be a bit more varied as previously mentioned.

Traditionally, Kunqu was mostly for the upper-class as the stories performed were classical Chinese literature, and at the time not everyone had the opportunity to learn. This may be why Kunqu typically uses classic chinese, whereas Peking uses a combination of both classic and vernacular, making it more available for everyone.

Yue Opera 越剧 (yuèjù)

This opera is also known as Shaoxing opera, originating from Shaoxing, Zhejiang in early 1900s. Originally the performances featured only male actors but nowadays all-female performance troupes are becoming the standard. It's interestingly the 2nd most loved opera type, just after Peking Opera as it's slow and romantic form is perfect for love stories such as The Butterfly Lovers.

Yue Opera also features the usual set of character types e.g. 生，旦 etc. except they are usually played by women.

In terms of appearance, Yue Opera tends to go for a more subtle makeup look (as subtle as stage makeup can be) and simpler but nonetheless gorgeous costumes, in contrast to Peking Opera's dramatic and bursting colors.

Yue Opera usually relies on string instruments, with a smaller musical ensemble and musical accompaniment so that the performers singing is more clear unlike Peking Opera's stronger background music.

[yelenaslyubov]

Be My Baby

main masterlist || florence pugh || requests

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ pairing: florence pugh x fem!reader

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ warnings: MINORS DNI (18+), smut, reader receiving, fingering, reader starts story married to a cis man!, cheating

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ description: (inspired by florence’s new shoot with vogue and set in the mid-to-late 1900s), after moving to the suburbs for a quieter life, your next door neighbor turns out to be a sweet surprise. infatuated by her personality, you make it your mission to get to know her better, even if that means breaking the rules.

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ word count: 2.8k

A thinly paved road and bushels of trees flew past on either side of the car. Being away from the city was a dream at last, as you had begged your husband for years at the opportunity. Now, he had the chance and he took it.

It was just as you had pictured it; perfectly wooded with plenty of neighbors around to keep you company. Your husband would work in the city, which was about an hour drive, but it was what you asked for with easy living.

As you neared the end of the road, you passed a large house coming up on the right. The sharp home was white with plenty of wood finishes. It seemed to fit just right in front of the trees.

Just like you remembered, your house was the last on the road and it looked just like the pictures you had seen in the mail. The accents of stone and black trim were to die for, and you knew the inside would be an even better satisfaction.

The car pulled into the driveway and it stopped with a squeak. The smile on your face could not be disguised. Your husband opened his own door but regretted not opening yours as well. Your smile faded as you helped yourself out of the car.

“Well, I hope it is everything you’ve dreamed of because I spent a pretty penny on it.” Even the sound of his voice repulsed you more than you could ever imagine.

Truthfully, this was all for you. You knew that getting the dream house you wanted allowed you to be in peace for most days. Your husband traveled for a living which left you in solitude to your heart's content.

When you walked into the house, boxes of your belongings littered the floor. The movers had gotten there the day before you and dropped everything off. The only thing put together was your bed, thank goodness.

“Hopefully this can all be unpacked by the morning, I need to leave tomorrow early for the airport,” your husband said.

“So soon?” you asked with an undertone of happiness.

He shot you a glare. “Yes, so soon. I couldn’t imagine you would understand.”

And so, the night was spent listening to records on vinyl after you were able to find the turntable, while each of you made a silent effort to unpack your life. By about midnight each of you called it quits and decided to go to bed.

Your bed felt just like it always had, but with a new view. Your eyes fluttered shut as you watched the tall pine trees dance in the breeze swooping by. How lovely it was to finally be surrounded by nature.

.

.

.

By morning your husband had already left with no trace but a simple note at your bedside that read “car delivery this afternoon. I will see you later.”

Later. Later could mean anything, so you anticipated hours or even days that he could be gone. Without a car until the afternoon left you stranded at home with no food, which seemed just like him.

You stumbled out of bed and threw your green, silk robe around you as you shivered. You nearly jumped at the sight in front of you in the mirror. The move had clearly been rough, with your disheveled hair and mascara smudges painted under your eyes. Luckily, with the unpacking you did last night you had just enough collected to take a shower and make yourself more presentable.

You made your way into your new bathroom that was covered with baby pink tile, along with a toilet and bathtub to match. You reached for the dial in the shower, but just before you were able to turn the water on you heard the doorbell ring. You waited a moment just in case you misheard, but it rang again.

Living in a new place called for precautions because you did not know what you would find behind the front door. You hoped for the car delivery, but you assumed that was slim.

You approached the door and peaked out the window beside it; no car. You walked closer to the door and jumped when the doorbell rang again.

“Hello?” a sweet voice spoke from the other side of the door. A woman.

Your chest became a bit lighter when you realized it was a woman. You wrapped your robe tighter around you since you did not know exactly what to expect when you opened the door.

The lock snapped to the left with a pop and you opened the door to reveal a blonde haired woman.

“Good morning! Oh, I’m sorry if I woke you up!” she exclaimed.

“You didn’t wake me, it’s no problem at all,” you responded.

You felt severely underdressed standing in front of her. She was wearing a light blue dress with white trim and shoes to match. Her hair was cut shorter but you could see the curls that were meticulously curved above her forehead. You became very distracted by the way she presented herself and the pretty smile she had.

“I saw you get in last night and thought I would just bring something over for you from my family. My husband and I live in the house on the right through the trees.” You looked in the direction she was pointing and it turned out to be the house you noticed when on the road last night.

“Oh my, well thank you very much, I appreciate that!” Your new neighbor handed you the glass dish of food. “My name is y/n y/l/n, it’s nice to meet you.” You held out your hand for her to shake.

“My name is Florence Pugh, it’s wonderful to meet you. It’s nice to have a friendlier face around here, most of the women I’ve met have been absolute vultures, but I can tell that we’ll get along just right,” she giggled and it warmed your heart.

“I appreciate you coming and introducing yourself to me. I’m new to the area and don’t know a soul, so having some company around here will be so lovely,” you expressed.

“Anything, my dear. Well, I best get back home and leave you to your day.”

You hesitated to protest her departure. “Well, my husband travels for work and I’m not sure when he will be back, so if you’re not up to anything…”

“I’ll be back in an hour to help unpack!” she said.

“You’re too kind, I appreciate you, and this food,” you laughed.

“It’s no problem at all! I’ll see you in a flash!”

She was gone just like she had come and you couldn’t help but watch her leave. The flow of her dress rocked back and forth with her hips and her hair bounced as she walked.

You went back inside and tried to resume as you were. You put the food in the fridge and tried to contain your excitement for the dinner you would be having.

That day, Florence came back over and helped you unpack for the rest of the night. You shared your stories with one another and laughed until your stomachs hurt. A real friendship began to blossom between the two of you, which helped with your boredom.

A couple months went by and your husband had been back to the house a couple times before traveling again for work, and Florence never left your side. You saw your friend almost each day and adored every second spent together. She made your world feel less lonely just by being there.

One morning while your husband was gone, of course, you decided to take a walk over to Florence’s house to see her. You noticed her husband stomping to his car with a look that could kill. He got in the car and drove away with only dust behind him. You tried to stay hidden until he was down the road, then you approached their house.

You knocked on the door and heard footsteps hurrying towards you. She opened the door and she was crying.

“Oh Flossie, what’s the matter? Is everything alright?”

She sniffed and wiped away her tears. “Yes, I’m alright.”

“You’re not alright and you know it.” You slid inside past her, closed the door, and took her hand while dragging her over to the couch. “Tell me what’s wrong.”

“We’re just having marital problems, that’s all. Just a rough patch.”

“You’ve seemed off the last couple weeks, so I wouldn’t say it’s all marital problems,” you said.

You poured the two of you a glass of white wine and brought out your box of cigarettes, offering one to Florence as well.

“Y/n, it’s 8 in the morning, we can’t drink yet!”

“Says who?” you smiled, which made Florence smile back.

The two of you talked for a couple hours and Florence poured her heart out to you, all of it that she could at least. She explained the indifferences between her and her husband, as well as her own personal indifferences.

You placed your hand on top of hers and squeezed it. “I’m sorry you have to do that all on your own,” you said.

“Believe me, you being here helps more than you will ever know.” Florence smiled at you, her kind eyes meeting yours and getting lost in each other.

She had been looking at you longer than anticipated, but you couldn’t seem to look away. Florence looked from your eyes to your lips; back and forth, and back and forth.

Before you could control either one of your impulses, each of you were leaning in close, meeting each other in the middle. Her lips found yours so easily and you closed your eyes. You couldn’t believe the comfort and softness you felt for her, even in this unexpected moment.

You were so wrapped up in the moment that you hadn’t realized what was actually happening. Florence seemed to gain consciousness the same time as you and you both pulled away quickly.

“I- I’m so sorry y/n, I don’t know what overcame me!” Florence said frantically.

“Please, don’t apologize, Flossie, it’s alright. Just calm down.”

Florence was pacing around the room, anxiously picking at her hands not knowing what to do. “This is so unlike me, I’m so sorry,” she kept apologizing.

“Florence!” you tried to get her attention. “It’s alright, I promise. No harm done.”

You grabbed her hands so she would start to calm down a bit. You smiled at her to reassure her that all was well.

“I believe you then,” Florence smiled. “You better be going, I’m sure you have things to do.”

“When do I ever have things to do?” you laughed.

“Well, you know…”

You could tell that one way or another, Florence was trying to make you leave, so you decided to go ahead and go before she kicked you out.

“You’re right… I should get going. I’ll see you later on, Flossie. You take care of yourself, you hear?” She nodded in response and you left her standing in the middle of the living room.

As you got home, you felt confused and disoriented as to what happened. You had to admit, you didn’t hate it, but you knew it was wrong. You both had husbands and you were both… women. Even with the doubts and differences in your mind, you couldn’t stop thinking about it.

Florence didn’t leave your mind all night, or for several days for that matter. You figured you were better off leaving the two of you with some space after what happened. Florence was clearly shook up about it and you didn’t want to push her. You wanted her to come to you first; and that’s exactly what she did.

One day, a couple weeks after the incident between you and Florence, you had just finished up cleaning the kitchen and vacuuming the house, so you decided to hop in the shower to clean up.

It happened almost the same as it started between the two of you. Before you had the opportunity to shower, your doorbell rang. You answered it to find Florence waiting for you.

“Hello, I thought I would stop by and see how you’re doing, but I can see that you’re busy-”

“Flossie, please don’t go,” you begged.

Florence stopped before she could leave. “I’ve missed that— ‘Flossie.’”

“I’ve missed you,” you smiled. “Come in.” The two of you made your way to the couch and sat down.

“I’m sorry I haven’t been by, I’ve just been… thinking a lot and I just feel bad for that day.”

“Please, don’t apologize anymore,” you told her. “It was just something silly in the moment, it meant nothing.”

Florence’s head dropped and she looked down at her hands. “Right, it meant nothing.”

You looked at her and saw the sadness that she expressed. You took her hand and she looked back at you.

“Unless… it did mean something?” you asked. Instead of sadness, her eyes were hopeful, just like yours.

“I know it’s not right, but I can’t seem to help it. I can’t stop thinking about you,” Florence said.

It was more forced this time, much more indeed. Florence crashed herself into you, knocking you down on your back against the couch. These two weeks left you hungry for each other, leaving you starved and grabbing for anything you could touch.

Her hands grasped your blushed cheeks, your tangled hair, and the spaces of your neck. You held her flush against your body, not wanting this secret moment to end.

Each of you couldn’t stop yourself, which is how you found yourself in the position of your robe being taken off. Your body was exposed to the brisk air, but you didn’t seem to mind.

There was no time for Florence to get a good look at you because she was too busy touching every part of you. She was quick to drag her hand down your front half and stopping down before your stomach.

Hesitation was not an option because you both knew you may never get this moment again if anyone were to find out. Without thinking, Florence drew her fingers through your center which caused you to squirm.

You let her do whatever she desired with you simply because she was Florence. Part of you had waited for this moment, but another part was taken by surprise that it was happening at all.

She began rubbing her fingers all through your cunt. It didn’t seem to matter what she did to you, your body was completely euphoric.

Florence’s fingers rubbed circles on your clit while you cried out of pleasure. You had never felt anything that had been quite of this measure, and you didn’t think you ever would again.

She picked up the pace while her lips were still all over your face and body. You couldn’t stop moving and reacting to the touch you were receiving from her, so Florence had to take matters into her own hands.

She barred down and put her weight on your body, preventing you from squirming too much.

“It’s so cute how much you move under me,” Florence said, turning your cheeks hot. Her words didn’t help you move any less.

You could feel yourself getting closer, as it didn’t take much for you to relinquish yourself to her completely.

“Flossie, I think I’m-” you tried to get out.

“I know, my dear. You can do it,” she whispered to you.

All it took was her words and the gentle but hot kiss she left by your ear that did you in. Your moans could be heard loudly over Sam Cooke who was playing from the turntable across the room.

You felt in a daze as your high came to a close, and all you could see now were the hazy eyes of Florence staring back at you. She rubbed the side of your face and swiped the hair out of your face.

You sat up out of surprise. “I can’t believe that just happened.”

“Me neither,” Florence giggled.

You stood up and got your footing before looking at Florence. She looked so naturally ethereal with the white pleated dress she had on, along with her messy royal looking hair. She stared at you and covered her mouth with her hand, laughing at you.

“What’s the matter?” you smiled.

“I didn’t even realize I did that much damage.”

You walked over to the mirror and gasped. There were dozens of lipstick marks all over your face and chest.

You smiled at her in the mirror. “That only means you have to help me clean it all up again.”

You took Florence’s hand and pulled her towards the bathroom while a trail of each of your clothes littered the hallway.

.

.

.

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[ghouldump]

Hiiiii I absolutely love your work thanks for feeding us with iwtv content!!!🫶🫶🫶🫶❤️❤️

I was thinking of a lestat x bi/queer fem reader, in which they’re just cuddling and chilling as they share their past experiences with lovers with no judgement and how they both came to terms with their sexuality, just something very fluffy!

That’s just a suggestion in case you needed ideas, don’t feel pressured at all! Have a great day🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶

As You Are | Lestat De Lioncourt x Reader

ෆ summary in request above ^

“You sure you okay, ma chérie, you've been awfully quiet, Lestat said, his fingertips brushing against your hip.

It was one of those rare nights, after hunting, there was nothing else to do but to spend time with each other. You both spent decades without companionship, drowning in loneliness, before meeting each other and now you treasured quality time together.

“I’m okay, today is an old friend's birthday, and I can't help thinking of her,” you told him, climbing out of bed, you grabbed the folded photo from inside of your coin purse.

“You two are a little close be friends,” he said, making you laugh.

“She said people would say that,” you smiled, folding the photo back up.

“You’ve been with a woman, this friend of yours,” he quickly realized.

“Yes, you aren't the only one who doesn't discriminate,” you laughed at how theatrical he was. Lestat had been open about his diverse tastes and history, while you were oftentimes a closed book, listening to his stories, rather than telling your own.

“How did I not know this?”

“I guess it slipped my mind, I don't talk about it, I've learned things and healed, and have no regrets,” you shrugged.

“You cannot tell me that and not elaborate…”

“Well, early 1900s, I had obviously just been turned, I tried dating around for a bit, but nothing worked out, until Helen. I always felt things towards women, but you know how things were back then, I couldn't dare express these feelings to anyone. I probably would've gotten a lobotomy,” you said, making him snicker.

“I realized if I would be here forever, I needed to come to terms with myself. Helen lived in the same apartment building, and I, of course, began to flirt with her. She was like I once was, hiding her true identity, afraid of judgment from outsiders. We were together for some time, in secret. I eventually wanted to turn her, but she was too afraid, blinded by her own internal conflict. We ultimately parted, and she went on with her life. I didn't hear from her again, until I was invited to her funeral, by her children,” you told him, he listened attentively, his softened eyes staring at your face, as he held you close.

“Oh, ma chérie”

“For the longest, I struggled with accepting who I was, questioning what was wrong with me, but I eventually could see myself healing, as time went on. I dated a few others, but none could capture my heart like her, I wouldn't allow myself to fully enjoy and give in until I met you,” you smiled, pecking his lips.

“I thought I wasn't able to love again, after my Nicky, until you came along, and I suppose things worked out perfectly,” he said, his finger brushing against your face.

“We’re one and the same”

“I agree, although it does make things more interesting knowing you also have equally eclectic taste, we’ll have to explore this scandalous side of you,” he grinned.

“What did you have in mind?” you asked, laughing at the mischievous grin on his lips.

“Nothing, for now, I just want to love you, completely and unconditionally, as you are,” he snuggled against you.

“Yes, we can invite someone except not that banchy-singing whore,” you said, hearing his thoughts, questioning if you would be open to a third joining you two in bed, from time to time.

“Thank god, I thought I would have had to beg,” he said, wrapping his arms around you, as he rolled over.

[munchy-k]

danmei list that no one asked for (long post incoming)

ok so I've accumulated a pretty decent list of danmei that aren't as well known and I want to talk about them!! so here we go! these aren't in any particular order btw

Nan Chan

an aloof, listless immortal and a very hungry caterpillar fish demon go on an adventure to retrieve a runaway bell 🔔. and also they both have amnesia. CUE ANGSTY BACKSTORY REVEAL!!!! 🔪🔪🔪

I'm sure it's to no ones surprise that this is first because I'm a SLUT for nan chan. if nan chan has one fan it is ME and if there r no fans I am DEAD!! I love this novel so much it has the perfect combination of painful angst and sweet sweet lovin' !! the main couple's relationship makes me feel so warm and fuzzy inside 🥺👉👈 (probably because I am a touch love language girly and these bitches be touching!!!) and I LOVE the characters sm. especially my little meow meow Jing Lin and his adorable little stone figure. I live for the interactions between Cang Ji and the stone figure! it may be a little difficult to read the first time around since the plot gets a little convoluted but it all makes sense in the end! 10/10 really recommend!!

How to Survive as a Villain

transmigration plot! rich ceo gets transported to a novel as the villain emperor and gets buddy buddy with the novel's MC so he doesn't get killed. ends up buddying too close to the sun and accidentally becomes the leading lady. drama ensues!

this is another favorite of mine!! this one is another good mix of angst and romance and the MC is so funny and likeable. there are also two cute side couples which is always fun! (one of them is f/f so it gets extra brownie points with me🤭) its also not too complicated which makes it great for casual reading ^^ p.s. this one has an official eng tl now! its being published thru rosmei (like nanchan) so it has to be ordered thru a 3rd party distributor but I think its worth reading 👀

Living to Suffer/ Till Death Do Us Part

living to suffer: ancient wuxia style prequel where the characters meet as a humble doctor and member of a demonic sect and their fate intertwines. this one has a BE

till death do us part: early to mid 1900s setting sequel. the reincarnated characters meet again as a elementary school teacher and rich playboy and face the struggles of having a relationship. this one has a bittersweet ending

THIS...... OK THESE NOVELS... let me tell you something. this made me SOB. oh my god especially the ending of TDDUP. I saw a review saying "I honestly could believe there lived a Shen Liangsheng and a Ch'in Ching, and that they fell in love..." and hard agree because something about this story felt so real?? which made it all the more intriguing and heartbreaking!! its set around the time of the japanese invasion of china and the cultural revolution so it does talk a lot about politics but it wasn't a difficult read imo. BUT BE WARNED! there is a LOT of smut. (not rly vanilla either..) and the relationship does get pretty toxic at times 😬 but it gets better by the end of the book and the toxicity actually does add to the story and character development. if u give it a try please read the prequel (living to suffer) first!

After Being Forced to Marry the Evil Star General

a deputy prime minister MC who's powerful, high-maintenance, and hated by the public is arranged to marry a laid-back general who is much loved and praised (but also rumored to be cursed!). this is an arranged marriage + enemies to lovers novel

I'm actually in the middle of rereading this one rn 👀. I think this one is also good for casual reading since it isn't very complicated. in the beginning the interactions between the main couple r rly funny because they just clash all day long lol. its also got a little angst sprinkled in 😎👍 I did see some reviews saying that the MC is not likeable since he does some kinda bad things and he's stuck up but I still liked him idk 😭 I feel like his flaws made him more interesting

Married Thrice to Salted Fish

a doctor MC who only wishes to study medicine (and poison oop) gets arranged to marry a guy whos dying. turns out that guy has been taken over by a transmigrator! transmigrator ML then proceeds to die and come back as someone else.. more than once 😭

if you love a couple that schemes together then this is the novel for you! the MC in this book kinda reminds me of the MC from the book I mentioned right above. (these titles too long man 😅) I found the repeated "reincarnation" plot to be pretty interesting. the interactions between the couple were pretty amusing as well and since the ML is from modern times he randomly uses modern slang. MC even picks some lingo up from him loll

Xiao Jiu

about a 9th prince MC whos trying to win the heart of the emperor's cold and aloof bodyguard! call him the prince of rizz because it works eventually 😎 this is an age gap romance with a smidge of angst and political drama

this a short and sweet story! the ML is described as cold a lot but he actually becomes rly sweet and warm later on so he isn't one of those stone faced characters. I don't have much else to say about this besides "its cute, I like it" 😅

Guanshan Muyu

wife-chasing crematorium story! it's about a outlaw MC who's kidnapped by the very guy who betrayed him. ML wants to win MC's heart back but issues from the past cause a bunch of misunderstandings :( but it is a happy ending!!

man.... I haven't read a wife-chasing crematorium story before this and I was not prepared for the amount of ANGST. basically everyone is miserable for the entire damn time! 😭😭😭 but that's not to say it wasn't a good story!! all the suffering made the ending feel even sweeter 🥰 if you cry easily maybe keep a pack of tissues on hand when you read this 😂

I wrote this in my notes app while reading and I feel like it summarizes the ML pretty well bahaha 👇

"qi yan: my girl is mad at me. I hope I die"

It’s Not Easy Being a Master

transmigrator becomes the villainous shizun in a novel he read and attempts to avoid a bad ending but *gasp* the novels MC (ML) has been reborn with all the past memories!! MC tries to get close to ML while ML is like wtf is going on ! seems like a typical "transmigrated as a villain" type plot until suddenly it's not... 👀👀

this one was rly fun! there's a big plot twist that I found rly interesting and unique! very fresh!! fresh produce!! 🥒🫑🥕🍅 I also like the MC a lot he had a rly silly personality hehe. I think this novel is good for people who like solving mysteries alongside the characters since a lot of hints are dropped throughout

Golden Stage/ Terrace

arranged marriage between a court dog and a general who's become phsyically disabled. everyone knows that the two HATE each other... but do they really? 👀 no, it's not an enemies to lovers, but the other characters seem to think so! 🤭

great novel!! very good!! I love the dynamic between the main couple! they love to banter so their interactions are entertaining. there's a bit of political plot but it's nothing too complicated and the angst is minimal. I also like that one of the main characters is a ambulatory wheelchair user. this one also has a official eng tl now but I'm not sure from which publishing house

Sharing Rain and Dew

MC whos staying in the palace dies a painful death but then gets reborn several months in the past. he spends his time stressing about his impending death but for some reason the Emperor has suddenly become super clingy and doting

this one is very very short, only 5 chapters + 3 extras, but it's quite funny and cute. despite being so short the story is actually pretty interesting? good for a quick, casual read

list over!! I have a few more but this is already too long of a post 😭 I hope someone can find this helpful for some reading recs!

[blackleatherjacketz]

Shadow and Sin: Chapter 4

Elijah Mikaelson x Female Reader

Summary: Having just moved to New Orleans, you get intimately acquainted with both Mikaelson brothers, but don't find out who they are until it's too late.

This Chapter: A mysterious box shows up on your doorstep, Elijah buys you a drink.

Warnings: Witchcraft, Love Bombing, Stalking, Sugar Daddy Vibes, Feelings of Inadequacy

Word Count: 2.3k+

Read the rest of the story HERE

Klaus’ bloody kiss had stayed with you for days, haunting you throughout your shifts at the hospital as your hormones raged in the absence of his presence, nearly making it impossible for you to focus. It made you wish that you were established enough to focus solely on your art career, that you didn’t have to work well into the night to pay your bills, but here you were, still a slave to capitalism. After your third grueling shift in a row, your legs wearily carry your body up the stairs to your apartment only to find a package sitting square in the middle of your doorstep. You look down the hallway at the other apartments, thinking that maybe it was something from the landlord that everybody got, but all the other welcome mats lay empty.

The box just sits there ominously, devoid of any stickers or labels, letting you know that it’s been hand delivered instead of ordered online and sent to your address. For whatever reason, you’re not sure why, that makes it seem a little bit more unsettling than you care to admit. That shady tarot reading makes you even more suspicious, Klaus’ warning of the witches in this town lingering in the back of your mind, making you approach your door with more caution than usual.

As you get closer, you notice that it’s a small wooden box exquisitely carved of rich cherry, no bigger than a shoebox without any other words or markings anywhere that you can see. Your heart races as you bend down to pick it up, holding your breath as you fear the very worst. What if there’s a dead animal inside or a body part covered in blood with some kind of curse on it that ruins your life once you touch it? What if it’s a distraction? What if….? You’re too tired for this. You grit your teeth and take a deep breath, finally convincing yourself to move your fingers and lift the top half of the box to see what’s inside.

Oh thank God! It’s just a book, but not any old book. It’s a paperback copy of Le Fantome de l’Opera, the first edition ever to be sold in France in the early 1900’s…1910, to be exact.

You exhale instantly as a wave of relief washes over you, carefully inspecting the green and gray cover, turning it over in your hands a few times before opening it to view its yellowed but pristine pages. You’d seen listings of this copy online before, but never actually seen it in person, let alone physically held it in your own hands. You can’t help but smile as you flip through the pages, doing your best to interpret the foreign language until you reach the front cover, reading a small note recently inscribed in perfect cursive:

For your collection, Little Lotte. Let your mind wander. I’ve read this far too many times to keep it Locked away on my shelf.

Your obedient servant. E. M.

E. M.? Elijah, of course! Had you really made as much of an impression on him as he had on you that day in the library? Has he really been thinking about you fondly enough to make a purchase of this magnitude and leave it for you to find in the middle of the night?

You stare blankly at the message for a moment, allowing the aroma of aged ink on paper to fill your nostrils as you bring it up to your face, nearly forgetting where you are and how scared you were just a moment ago. You close your eyes and imagine the intoxicating scent of his cologne surrounding you as that dark voice of his reads to you in French before your body begins to warm all over, instinctively leaning against your front door.

Your eyelids flutter as the weight of them suddenly becomes too much, the comfort of your bed calling to you as you coach yourself to find your keys and push them into the handle, nearly stumbling inside your living room. You bring the book and its box inside with you, sleepily deciding that you can weigh out the pros and cons of both Elijah and Klaus in the morning once you’re showered and rested, but until then, it’s time to sleep.

————————

You don’t wake again until the next afternoon, a rather common occurrence after working so many twelve-hour shifts in a row. You eventually rise and talk yourself into making a strong pot of coffee, glancing over at the book Elijah had left you as your caffeine begins to brew. Allowing the aroma to slowly clear your head as you pour your first cup, you wonder which situation was weirder: Klaus shutting down your Tarot interpretation just to walk you home and kiss you, or Elijah tracking down your home address to send you your favorite book. Both had lines of romantic intentions drawn through them, Klaus’ being a bit more forward than Elijah’s, but the truth remains for each of them.

You can’t remember a time where anyone had vied for your affections more fervently than right now, when two wildly different men had so brazenly inserted themselves into your life, the likes of which you could only compare to the romantic stories you’ve read about in books. You’d always envied those women who had two lovers to choose from, the center of attention at all times as these men competed for her hand. But this is real life, and if your years of experience had taught you anything about men, it’s that one of them will most likely grow tired of you before too long, weeding themselves out of the competition before it even begins. It’s just a book, you tell yourself. That’s all.

Attempting to clear your head of work, magic and ancient copies of classic literature, you decide to watch your coworker Tammy play the trumpet at a small bar in the garden district later in the night. It’s far enough away from where you met both Elijah and Klaus that you don’t have to worry about weighing the options of being in their presence as you settle into your barstool.

You let the music from the instruments distract you for the moment; Tammy’s trumpet painting the humid Louisiana air a shockingly vivid yellow, the saxophone adding bright red to the canvas as the piano dots the page with its vibrant blue notes while the bass guitar’s earthy green tones hold it all together. They blend and build onto one another, creating a beautifully unique masterpiece of sound that’s distinct to this region of the world, but vastly different from anything else anyone’s ever created before. This is what you love about the city, how the music on every street corner seems to take on a life of its own, dousing every inch of it in an almost visible, tangible fresco for everyone around to experience. This city is alive in more ways than one, and you’re just happy to be here to bear witness.

“Your finest whiskey, please, and whatever she’s having.” That dark chocolate timbre brings you back to reality as he addresses the bartender before turning ever so slightly toward you.

Oh, great. It’s Elijah. Is he following you? He’s already managed to find out where you live, so this doesn’t completely surprise you, but the coincidence forces suspicion to take up shelter in the base of your spine as he unbuttons his suit jacket.

“Espresso martini, please,” you tell the bartender softly, looking over at Elijah in disbelief. You aren’t entirely sure if you should be flattered or scared, his determination to find you both admirable and alarming. “Are you following me?” You ask in a semi-joking tone.

“Hardly,” he replies with a satisfied grin, keeping his secrets safe. “But if I was, I wouldn’t have expected you to show up here.”

“Well, if I’d have known you were looking for me, I would have given you more of a run for your money.” You lie, attempting to play it cool as you look at both of your reflections in the mirror behind the bar.

So much for your vampire theory.

“Would you, now?” He chuckles, his nonchalance making you shiver.

“Thank you, by the way… for the drink and for the gift.” You pause as his grin slowly melts into a smile. “The book, it’s remarkable, I’ve never seen anything like it,” you pause, careful not to get too swept up by his romantic gesture that you lose your head. “But that’s a nine thousand dollar book, Elijah, I looked it up on eBay. The first edition ever? I mean, how did you even get that? There are only two copies in the entire world for sale right now. I couldn't possibly accept a gift like this.”

He shrugs as if the money is inconsequential to him, his lips pursing just enough to signal that he’s almost tickled by your refusal. “I didn’t buy it, if it’s the price that bothers you.” He takes a moment to lean in and look you in the eye, his voice dropping down to a sincere whisper. “I gave it to you because I wanted you to have it, because you told me how much that book meant to you.”

“But why would you do that? You don’t even know me,” you counter breathily, attempting to push away what seems too good to be true.

“Not yet, no.” He sizes you up like a snake about to devour its prey. “But I could.”

Goddamnit, who IS this guy?

“Well… first of all, you can’t just stalk me and find out where I live and leave mysterious unmarked boxes on my doorstep at three in the morning.” You hush the tone of your last few words as the bartender brings both of your drinks out.

“I thought you enjoyed elements of danger with your romance, that love was meaningless without any stakes?” He raises an eyebrow and traces the rim of his glass with his index finger.

“I meant in my books, not in real life. I didn’t anticipate you scaring me half to death after a long shift with that box! It could have been anything in there: a dead rat, bloody feathers, someone’s finger, I don’t know!” You helplessly attempt to plead your case of how frightening it is to live in this world as a woman, but a man like him isn’t likely to listen.

“I’ve offended you.” His tone is diplomatic now, his expression hardening. “I assure you, that was not my intention. If I’ve misread our previous interaction, I’ll kindly take my leave.”

“No, that’s not it!” You correct him, grabbing hold of his arm to keep him near. “I'm letting you know that I would be offended if I wasn’t so… if you weren’t so…” you trail off, getting flustered as your lip begins to quiver.

“If I weren’t so what?” He reaches up and pushes a strand of hair away from your face, making your heart leap inside your chest as he gently tucks it behind your ear. You suddenly feel as if all time has stopped, the boisterous barrage of the band fading off into the distance as you fall headfirst into the black abyss of his eyes, letting it pull you down into its darkest depths, abandoning all hope of walking away from this sultry encounter unscathed. “I know you feel it, too.”

Fuck. He’s not wrong, not even a little.

He inhales slowly, creating a long electric pause as he takes you in as if it’s his very first time seeing you, letting you drown in the slick feeling in the very pit of your stomach. “I’ll admit that my delivery was a little old fashioned, but I thought that was something you’d appreciate.” He strokes your cheek as if he knows exactly what to do to make you melt beneath him, that he’s well aware that despite his questionable actions, he knows you won’t get up and leave.

“Mmm hmm,” you stammer clumsily, his fingers lighting up your skin as every tiny hair stands at attention, waiting for him to touch more of you.

“I didn’t mean to alarm you.” He removes his hand from your face and takes the first sip of his cocktail, the stoic confidence radiating off of him like a man who's done no wrong.

“I do appreciate it, I really do, more than you know.” You admit, barely able to find your words as he holds you in his gaze. You struggle to express out loud what you’re thinking right now, how you’re feeling as a haunting sense of unworthiness creeps over you, inch by inch like an insidious gray cloud. You’d know it anywhere by now, for it’s the same one that’s followed you around for the majority of your adult life. “It’s just that one’s ever done anything like that for me before. I guess I’m just… not used to it.”

“Then every man before me has been a fool.” He lets his hand rest on top of yours, his fingers slowly slipping into the spaces between them before gently flipping it over, exposing your wrist. He takes another long draught of his whiskey before tracing little designs into your palm with his fingertips, exciting every neuron on your skin before moving up to your wrist, brushing against your pulse. “I’m sure that isn’t what you came to this city to find, now is it, little Lotte? A life that you’re ‘used to’?”

“No.” You confess almost immediately, feeling yourself sinking down deeper into his chasm of madness as you attempt to pick your jaw up off the floor.

“Then keep the book.”

[sugawhaaa]

SEONGHWA X READER

{Chapter 5}

Your heart?

Warnings:: SMUT/sexually/mentally abusive fiance!!

Pairing::soft!dom!pirate!seonghwa x sub!princess!reader

Genre::pirate!AU, this chapter includes smut but I have it marked by a red dotted line if you want to skip it :) [oral (f/m rec) multiple positions, fingering, lots of dirty talk bc...cmon seonghwa is a pirate, praise, comfort, cumming on face, creampie (don't try this at home) aftercare]

Reminder‼️this isn't 100% historically accurate and should be taken with a grain of salt. This story is also set in the late 1800s to early 1900s specifically in Europe but if you want you can imagine it wherever else you'd like, it is a fictional story after all 💗 this story also takes some inspiration from Pirates of the Caribbean, specifically the first movie.

Taglist:: @hi-kariii @deltamoon666 @hxpelessxcean @luvleejuyo @ateez-atiny380

A/N:: this chapter took sooooo fucking long to write for no reason bro 💀anyways as highly requested we have pirate seonghwa chapter 5 and the story is finally building 🤭 I can't wait to see what people are gonna say abt this chapter bc if you read the warnings you know what's coming 😍 (me) and the story is only gonna get better from here

Previous chapter::

"I want to get to know you," he says as he relaxes his body on the bed. "You should trust me by now. I saved your life, showed you where I live and basically introduced you to my family," he explains. "You know what I like and you know who I am," he looks over at you and you blush. "Yet I hardly know anything about you," he says with desperate eyes but behind them, something more is lingering. Sincerity, interest, trust, eagerness, love.

"Well, you know my Fiancé, Herrington," you look at him on your bed, relaxed.

"Unfortunately," Seonghwa replies and you giggled. "Why are you marrying him anyways? He's ignorant, selfish and tardy," Seonghwa frowns as he looks at you.

"I'm marrying him because it would benefit my kingdom," you smile.

"How so?" He questions you again.

"His kingdom is rich in many ways. Money, food, citizens, if I marry him it's likely that all those aspects will flow over into our kingdom due to the connection," you explain and Seonghwa unstraps his boots. You watch him, a little confused.

"So you're sacrificing your happiness, love and pleasure for your kingdom but it might not even work? It's just "likely"?" He looks at you with a serious expression.

"You wouldn't get it," you shake your head and crawl up to the top of your bed. Laying back on the pillows.

"I guess I don't," he says as he follows you up the bed, sitting next to you. His hands are dangerously close to your body. "Tell me this princess, are you in love with anyone?" He looks at you with passionate eyes. Determination and desire lingering in them. You have to think for a moment but you answer earnestly.

"Yes," you reply quickly and honestly.

"Well it can't be Herrington you're in love with. So who is it?" He leans closer to you and you pause. You know where this is going and don't mind. You look down at his chest, trying to come up with a way to reply.

"I…I don't know if I can tell you," you continue to avoid looking into his eyes.

"Is it…" he pauses, his lips slightly parted. "Me?"

You look up at him, his eyes desperate. You nod slowly before clinging to him, grabbing him in a tight hug. He's startled by the sudden action but he slowly wraps his arms around you. You hear his heart racing as you inhale the scent of the ocean off of him. He strokes your hair gently.

"I love you," he whispers and your heart races. "I've loved you since the moment I laid eyes on you. Your eyes were full of wonder and purity, something I crave," he held you close, feeling a sense of purpose to protect you. Like you were the most fragile thing in the world and you belonged to him.

"Ever since I first met you, I couldn't get you off my mind," you reply with pink cheeks. His hands traveled lower, resting on your hips.

"How so?" He says in a teasing tone hinting at an underlying suggestive idea. His hands running from your hips up to your waist continuously. You look up at him with a frown. "I'm just joking," he chuckles as he runs his fingers through your hair.

"Well, you do have to appreciate a good looking person when you see one, no?" You reply as you continue to snuggle into his arms. He nods with a soft smile.

"I heard about the wedding," he brings one of his hands up to caress your hair. "It's still a few weeks away, you could call it off," he says with only the best intentions. He untangles his fingers from your hair and brings his hand down to yours. His thumb rubs over your hand, stopping at the wedding ring.

"I can't," you reply with a straight face. "My people need it. Like I told you and my parents would be furious. There's only one purpose for my life and that is to be wedded," you explain and Seonghwa frowns. His true thoughts threaten to bubble up and spill over. He bites his tongue before speaking.

"But, what if you followed your heart? What would you do then?" He asks, his thumb slowly slipping the ring off your finger.

"I would…" you pause to think to give him an honest answer. "I guess I would follow you,"

"Follow me? Why?" He chuckles as he looks down at you.

"Because my heart belongs to you. If I were to follow my heart I would need to follow you," you explain and Seonghwa's eyes widen, his lips parting. He's never heard such sweet words directed towards him. A smile starts to creep up on his lips, a dust of pink coating his ears and cheeks.

"I see," he chuckles. "Well then, why can't you follow your heart?" He asks with a tilt of his head.

"I told you. My people-" You start but Seonghwa puts a finger to your lips, a soft hush escaping his lips.

"Your people already have great protectors and your sister is next in line providing a future great protector. As for Herringtons kingdom, that's his problem," Seonghwa states.

"But my parents. My only purpose to them is to marry-"

Seonghwa cuts you off again. "Who cares? Your purpose in life is to be happy and spread your happiness across the farthest edges of the earth. You already spread it as far as you can go, why not go to the full extent while also fulfilling your happiness…with me?" He purposes, finally sliding the ring off your finger. Like pulling a chain off that locked you to your responsibility of marriage. You look up at him worriedly but excited. "Don't worry. You don't have to make the decision now. You know where to find my ship and I'll be around for plenty more time," he smiles before kissing your forehead. His lips so soft and tender despite his rough exterior. You nod as you watch him place the wedding ring on your nightstand. He then kisses your hand gently holding it in his. "You can tell me before or on July 13th," he holds your hand tightly. He nods before standing up, his warm leaving yours to hold the bare cold air.

He starts to head for the balcony door but you abruptly get up and grab his hand. Seonghwa stops dead in his tracks as he feels the contact. The two of you stand there in the same position for a while, deciding what to do or say next. "Don't go," you mumble. "I don't want to be alone," you look up at him, his hair illuminated in the moonlight. You can see his shoulders relax as he sighs. He turns to look at you again, his eyes locked on yours.

Your eyes full of this desperate aura, eagerness, longing, loneliness. He couldn't turn his back on you again. He left you alone too many times now. He pulls you into a hug.

•••••••••••••••••[smut]••••••••••••••••••••

"Darling," he hums lowly. Your hands instantly roam over his body. He's never been touched in such a way. So eager and desperate. You felt the way his vest hugged his waist, the belt wrapped around his waist and falling at his wide hips. The way his body pressed against yours. You wanted him in every way possible but how could you tell him? "There's something on your mind," he states blankly and you squeeze him tighter. "Am I right?" He smiles down at you. You nod again, your face rubbing against his button up shirt. "What is it darling? Use that pretty voice and tell me," he smiles as he leans down to look you in the eyes.

"I-I…" you pause, unable to put your thoughts into words.

"Take your time princess," he strokes your hair, twisting it around his middle finger.

"I want you…no I need you," you look at him, your breath increasing. He tilts his head, a little confused by your words. "I don't know how to say it but…" you trail your hands down to his belt, lower, and lower.

You place your hand on the bulge of his pants and he inhales sharply, not expecting the sudden contact. He smirks and chuckles lowly.

"You want to get dirty? But isn't that what your Fiance is for~" Seonghwa teases. You pout up at him.

"He's not…good," you avoid eye contact with Seonghwa as memories of your previous sexual encounters with your Fiance flood in.

"Not good hm? How so baby, tell me," he turns his ear to you, ignoring the fact your hands are currently latched onto his belt. You blush and continue looking away from him. "You getting shy? Alright, was he too slow?" You shake your head. "Too fast?" You shake your head. "Too hard?" You shake your head. "Not hard enough?" You pause and nod your head. "Did he listen to you?" You think for a moment before shaking your head. Seonghwa clicks his tongue making a little "tsk" sound. "How about his size?" He asks with a little smirk.

"I don't really know. It wasn't as big as I had thought…" you blush and Seonghwa laughs.

"Disappointed my princess?" He strokes the side of your face gently, watching how your skin crawls from the sensation. You chuckle and nod lightly. "You want someone to make you feel good?" He asks with sympathetic eyes. You nod shyly and a devilish grin creeps on his lips. He leans down to your ear, whispering softly. "Someone to touch you right, someone to love you right," he growls and your skin crawls. His lips meet yours, kissing you softly before putting more possession into it.

While his tongue roams around your mouth both his and your hands are feeling each other up. His hands crawl up your back, around your head, to your waist. Your hands up in his hair, down his chest to his belt. He pulls back from the kiss before looking at you. "Are you sure about this? His room is right next to yours and I'm not going to go easy on you if you commit to this," he smirks and you can't help but smile in anticipation.

"I'm sure," you slowly unbuckle his belt, listening to the sound of the metal clicking. "I hope he hears," you say before kissing him softly again. When you pull back he smirks.

"You're a dirty girl," he chuckles and you smile. Once you slide the belt off of his waist he gently guides you over to the bed. He caresses the side of your face and hair as you undo his vest, slipping the buttons out of the tight fabric. You're so close to getting him fully exposed and vulnerable. Only the thin layer of his shirt and pants separated his bare body from your hands. He pulled you on top of him gently, cradling each other as you removed more clothing, your lips against each other the entire time. You got him down to just his pants when he started to get impatient again. He started unbuttoning the first few buttons at the top of your nightgown before pulling it over your head, revealing your nude body.

His eyes lingered at your chest as his hands caressed your back. You put your hand down to cover your womanhood, embarrassed by its condition. He looked down at your hand then back at you with sympathetic eyes. He placed his hand on your wrist before speaking. "Why are you covering yourself?" He asks softly and you can't look him in the eye, staring at his waist instead.

"I'm just a little nervous," you explain and he relaxes. He strokes your hair softly.

"We can take it slow if you need but you should know, I do not judge. I think you're beautiful inside and out and it will not change," Seonghwa smiles as you finally make eye contact with him. You nod and cautiously remove your hand, placing it on his abs instead. He smiles at you before leaning forward, kissing your neck. You let out a soft and gentle moan. "That's it," he speaks in a low and creamy tone before kissing more of your skin. Your hands traveled down again, tracing the outline of his length with your finger tips. You bite your lip gently and move your hand up to unbutton his pants. He smirks against your skin before pulling back. He helps you take off his pants and toss them aside with the rest of his clothes.

You look at his length, taking in the sight. It stood proud and tall with a slight curve to it. His red tip slick with precum as the veins stuck out from the sides of it. You traced your hand along his tip to feel it scorching hot. He clenched his jaw and you looked at him, slightly concerned. "Sorry, I'm just really pent up," he chuckles in a deep voice. You giggle as you continue to stroke him very softly. He looks down at your fingers, gently caressing his veins and sensitive spots.

"It's okay," you hum as your eyes stay glued to his length. His cock was much longer and thicker than you had ever seen. It made your blood rush in excitement, eager to know how it would feel. As you get more comfortable with him you wrap your hand around his member, gently starting to move it up and down. He puts his hand up to your head, holding your head softly as his fingers intertwine with your hair.

"You're doing great," he mumbles under his breath, trying to stay quiet. "I can't wait to mark you," he hums as he watches you lean down. He's taken aback by your sudden movement but lets you do as you please. You put your lips over just his tip, sucking hard to give him more stimulation while you jerk him off. He mutters something under his breath in a raspy voice. "You know what you're doing," he chuckles as you start going faster, using a twisting motion up his length. He lets out a soft groan as he watches you. His hips jerk forward but he pulls them back down. He wants to make sure you're ready so he has to swallow his own pleasure and ensure you're comfortable. He grits his teeth as he fights the urge to push his hips up. His hips jerk towards you slightly. His cock pushing further into your mouth. Your eyes widen in surprise and he apologizes. "I'm sorry, I'm trying to hold back but you feel so good," he laughs and throws his head back. He lays his arm across his head.

You start to slowly bob your head as you continue stroking him with your right hand. Seonghwa moans loudly before biting his wrist. He lost himself in the pleasure, forgetting about your Fiance next door. He bites down hard on his skin as you bob your head. The sounds of you swallowing his length in your mouth echoed in the room and his mind. "I'm close baby," he says after pulling his lips off of his skin. A little drool slipped from his lips and you continued your attack on his cock. He grabbed your hair in a fist as his back arched up. "That's it, that's it," he moans as he emptied himself into your mouth. His hot semen trickled down your throat. You slipped your lips off of him and panted heavily.

He stroked your hair out of your face as he praised you. "Good girl, good little cock sucker," he breathed out and you smiled up at him. The feeling of being praised felt like snuggling up in a warm blanket after being out on a winter's day. "Come here," he pulled you up effortlessly. He made you sit on his lap before he started kissing your chest, leaving little marks all over.

"S-Seonghwa, they're going to see those marks," you blush as you hold his head.

"Good," he licked up your chest and your body shuddered. You sigh, realizing you can't turn or hold back anymore. You lean down and capture his lips in yours aggressively. You push him down to lay on the bed underneath you. He looks surprised by your sudden eagerness. You pull back and pant heavily as you look down at him, a wide smirk on his face. "Lay down," he orders and you hesitantly comply. You lay down on your bed and he crawls up to your legs. He puts his hand between your knees, prying them open. "Open up your legs darling," he says in a low seductive tone. You do as he says, spreading your legs. He takes one long lick up your folds. You arch your back and throw your head back. The sudden pleasure washing over you. He uses the palms of his hands to hold your thighs open as he laps at your arousal.

"S-Seonghwa," you moan out as you grab the sheets in a tight fist. He uses his tongue to circle around your folds to soak up all of your arousal. Everytime he reaches up to your clit he flicks it to make you jump. He loves watching the way you react to his actions. He then brings his hand up to the opening of your pussy lips. He rubs the tip of his thumb against your entrance and you feel like you're about to scream from the teasing. "Please," you beg in a whisper. He chuckles lowly while he grins, ear to ear.

"Please what baby? What do you need?" He says in a taunting voice between power licks up your folds.

"I-I," you don't honestly know what you want. You don't know what to say. "Please make me feel good," you whimper as you look at him. He looks surprised by your words. He chuckles and removes his thumb.

"Isn't that what your Fiance is for?" He teases before sliding his middle finger into your slick walls. You bite your lip to stiffel your moans. "Or can he not make you feel good? He's so bad at pleasing you that you need a new man to make you feel good, right?" Seonghwas eyes fill with lust, the power dynamic setting in. You nod as you bite your fingertip.

Seonghwa continues to please you for hours with his mouth and hands. You had to fight for your life to keep quiet to the point you got a pillow and when you orgasmed you would bury your face in it because the way he made you orgasm was like no other. After another orgasm from his fingers you looked up at him, desperation in your eyes. He leaned down and kissed your lips before sliding down to your neck, peppering you in soft, gentle, kisses.

"Seonghwa..?" You hold him close as you breathe heavily. He pulls back from your neck and looks at you.

"Yes darling?" His dark eyes look at you with pure adoration.

"I want to…try the real thing," you say as you rub his back.

"Are you sure? It's a big step," he looks at you concerned. You nod reassuringly.

"I'm sure," you smile and he takes a deep breath.

"Okay, what position do you wanna do to start?" He asks before tucking back some stray hairs from your face.

"Can we do missionary so I can get used to you?" Seonghwa nods and lets you get comfortable beneath him. Once you're settled he lines his tip up to your entrance. His hands gently caress your waist and hips attempting to relax you.

"Tell me if it hurts okay?" He very slowly and cautiously pushes into you, his girth stretching you up in the most sensational way. Your walls clench as he pushes into you hoarse moans falling from your lips. "Fuck, you're so tight," he curses under his breath before pushing the last bit of his cock inside you. You let out a squeal as you clench the pillow in your arms. You let out a deep breath and Seonghwa brings his hand down to pet your hair. "How does it feel, baby? Is it comfortable?" He asks out of genuine concern and love. You shake your head.

"No, just wait a minute for me to adjust though," you rub his back as you wait to adjust to his size. Seonghwa nods and waits patiently. "Okay, go slowly," you remind him. He nods again and slowly pulls out about a quarter or so before pushing back in. Despite how simple and slow the action you felt like you were going to explode from pleasure. He was so wide and perfect, like he was made for you. He continued this process a few times to be sure you were comfortable. "Faster," you plead out and Seonghwa can't hold back his smile. He follows your command and starts moving at a faster and slightly rougher pace. Your back arched into his body as he thrusted into you, your arms loosely hanging around his neck. You bring your hand down to caress the side of his face as he continues thrusting into you, the bed creaking as he does so. You look up at him with teary eyes as you feel an orgasm building inside you. "Seonghwa, I-I feel," you begin to speak but your words only spur on Seonghwa's lust. He quickened his pace once more and you tossed your head back. You bite your lip as you hold in your moans. You throw your head back up before placing your forehead on Seonghwa's, your eyes squinted shut as you let your words just spill out. "Yes seonghwa, I love you so much, fuck, please," you whisper out thoughtless words of love.

"I love you too Y/N. relax baby let it out," Seonghwa groans as he holds the back of your head, his pace never wavering. "Shit, I can't hold it back anymore," he hissed under his breath. "Where do you want it?"

"I-Inside," you stutter out as you reach your peak, grabbing his hair in a fist as your body shakes. With one final thrust he unloads inside you. Your body falls back down to the bed as you pant, sweat dripping from your hairline. Seonghwas arms quiver as he holds himself up, his seed filling you up to the brim. He slowly pulls out as the two of you breathe heavily. He watches as the white liquid slowly pours out from your slit. He dips his head down and takes one long lick up your folds. Your mixed cum tastes like frosting on his tongue. He holds your thighs as he slurps up the sweet and salty frosting from between your legs.

You lie there breathless as your head spins from the overload of pleasure. Seonghwas hot semen swirling around your uterus. Seonghwa pulls back from your pussy lips and crawls up to hug you. "That was amazing princess," he smiles up at you and you chuckle. He runs his hands through your hair as he talks to you. "It's been two hours and you still don't seem tired yet~?" Seonghwa teased as he brought his body back up, pinning you down to the bed.

"How could I get tired of you?" You smirk and Seonghwa chuckles, a tint of blush creeping up his face. He leans down to kiss your neck one last time before picking you up by your waist. He silently tells you to sit up and you do as he asked. You sit to the side as you watch Seonghwa lay back on your head board. He pats his lap, inviting you to come sit on top of him. You crawl over to him and swing your leg to the other side of his body. He holds your waist with one hand, keeping your body up, as his other hand lines up to your entrance again.

He looks up at you longingly, waiting for you to sit down. You slowly settle down on his cock. The feeling of him re-entering you sends sparks of pleasure through your body. You finally rest your legs as you nestle onto his cock. Seonghwa tosses his head back as he feels your walls hugging him tightly. His hands roam up your body as he groans, his eyes squinted shut and jaw clenched.

"Fuck baby, this position feels so good," he chuckles as he peers his eyes open, looking up at your beautiful body on top of his. You feel his cock twitch inside you. You gasp lightly from the feeling. Seonghwa blushes and looks away, not wanting to admit the way your body looks turned him on that much. "Have you done this before?" He asks genuinely, looking back up at you as his hands rest on your hips. You think for a moment before shaking your head. "Alright, it's pretty simple and a lot less physical work. It's good for lazy sex," he explains and you chuckle.

"Is my little man getting tired?" You tease as you rest your hands on his chest. He cocks an eyebrow at you with a little smirk.

"Oh~? I'm your little man?" He teases back. You blush as you look down at him.

You had never really called him "yours" before. Seonghwa always called you princess, darling, his girl, pretty little thing, doll, and his love. But you had never returned that verbal gesture. Maybe that's why he was so hesitant to whisk you away from your Fiance. Maybe that's why he was always cautious with you because you never clarified that he was yours. Maybe that's why he wasn't sure if you loved him.

[pirateshelly]

I haven't been able to get Claudia's line "I never thought about choosing to pretend, life hasn't been kind enough to allow me that" out of my head and how it really is THEE Claudia thesis (and in some ways a thesis for the whole show).

Because performance really does define every single character in this show, as does the degree to which that character has chosen that particular performance or whether it's something the world/other people/necessity has imposed on them. On one hand you have white men like Lestat and Santiago up on stages by choice performing these romantic/intimidating/charismatic roles. And then you have both Louis and Armand who are both people who, in different ways, have had to essentially be chameleons their whole lives just to survive. But for both of them there's a sense that it becomes, to some extent, something they simply cannot emotionally break free from rather than a material necessity for the sake of survival (and obviously the necessity never goes away for either them entirely, but they're both also very much characters prone to getting trapped in cages of their own making).

And then you have Claudia who is so DESPERATE to just be herself and to be seen. I read a great interview with Delainey recently when she says that she thinks of Claudia as probably the most honest and reliable narrator in the story and I think she's absolutely right, Claudia is not duplicitous by nature. It's that she has simply never once in her life been in a situation where she wasn't forced to perform to survive. As a young black girl in the early 1900s. As an adult woman in the body of a child who must perform childishness in order to not seem monstrous and disturbing. As a young woman living in an abusive home where she has to navigate an angry man's moods. As Louis' loving sister/daughter and emotional tether. When has she ever had the chance to CHOOSE to pretend, just for the sake of it, in all of that?

We see her watching Santiago on stage performing as this romantic yet intimidating personification of death and she is ENTHRALLED. It's a power fantasy she desperately wants for herself, but when she's finally allowed on stage there's no seductive power fantasy waiting for her, just the same humiliating child role she's played her whole life and once again she has no choice in the matter.