#eaeting disroder

[prinnyalexis]

Slowly becoming happy with my body😏😏

[prinnyalexis]

Literally so much on my mind lately. Most of it being why can’t I gain weight 😭

[prinnyalexis]

Poor excuse of a side boob. BUT REACHED MY FIRST WEIGHT GOAL! 6 half stone, one stone to go!

So happy with the fact my hip bones aren’t visible anymore, my collar bones going, boobs getting bigger and I’m getting curves!

Recovery is key 🔐

[prinnyalexis]

Collar bones are finally disappearing.

Wright gain might not look like it’s happening but it definitely is! So proud of where I’ve come😭

[prinnyalexis]

** Perosnal photo, do not steal **

Having a body confident week! Enjoyed my photoshoot. Which was when I had the realisation, that I’m to skinny and I need to get better! Past 9 days have been a struggle of drinking enough, stretching my stomach, and being oh so very tired.

BUT! This means I’m finally on the long journey to recovery. Set myself 4 small, main goals.

6 stone ✅

6 stone 7 ❌

7 stone ❌

7.7 stone❌

But I’m happy with where I am. Where I’m going. Can’t wait to be better for my little boy! I have great friends and family for support. Most importantly can’t wait to have the great body, and a big fuck you to my ex, who was the reason behind my major replace in the first place!

Girls and boys, never give up on your recovery journey. Best thing I’ve done, and I couldn’t be happier💕💕💕

[prinnyalexis]

Finding myself again, slowly starting to love my body.

I'm back to 6 stone! And back into my size 4 clothing!! Could not be happier, onwards and upwards, just over a stone to go till my goat weight. With some exciting new things to try on my weekly meal plans to come!

[prinnyalexis]

I've not really posted in a bit. Not feeling myself. As much as I try, I can never shake the feeling of not being good enough. It's really getting me down.

When will this pain and suffering end?

However today I had a positive body image day!

Please remember I do not promote self ana, I may look like your ideal skinny but I HATE IT. Roll on the day I finally gain some weight.

[prinnyalexis]

So excited for the day I'm happy with my body.

I dont understand how I can lose weight so easy, but when I want to gain weight it never seems to happen! One day I will have nice bum and boobs, have to believe to achieve!

[prinnyalexis]

Like, I'm happy I'm finally back to 6 stone? Honestly I am.

But I'm still just not happy with myself. I know itll take months of dedication before I get to 7 stone, but this is so hard. I want it done now. I want to be better. I want to look and feel good.

But honestly, the only reason I'm working on self care, and to look good, is so that everyone in my baby's dad life continues to talk about me, but instead say positive things like how well I am, how good I look, my confidence, make him feel bad for leaving me and his son like we was nothing. How does someone hold so much power over you? Honestly this cant be healthy.

[prinnyalexis]

After having my heart broke, and my sons dad walk away from us without a care in the world, I let myself drastically go.

To the point I wasn't myself, and didn't see the point in anything anymore.

But now I know my worth, and I wont let him get to me anymore. I am worth so much more, and both me and my son, we deserve so much better then him. How anyone can call themselves a man, and walk away from their child is beyond me, and rather be with some desperate tramp then to have a bond with their child, is actually beyond me.

I lost so much weight, but now I feel myself coming back, and I honestly cant wait to get back to the old me, and start living my old happy life with my little man by my side, teaching and growing him into the little gentlemen I know he will be♥️

[prinnyalexis]

Now I've started to actually put on weight, I thought I'd start sharing my meal plans incase anyone is interested!

I know there is so much to do with weight loss these days, and not weight gain... This is all from knowledge and research, and even if it helps just one person that will make me so happy!

Feel free to share with everyone, and everyone you know is recovering!!

[prinnyalexis]

If only you knew what you did to me...

You left when I needed you the most, when we needed you and rather than thinking of how things could be better, you tried for better elsewhere. You know, I once thought you’d always be there for me. Boy, was I wrong. The time I needed you the most, you needed something else. Not only did I need my best friend around, jenson needed his daddy, not just every other week. Since having Jenson I’ve realised a lot. I’m not bitter like you think I am, I’m just disappointed. You can’t possibly have expected me to be completely fine with the situation because let’s be honest, you weren’t just someone I loved.. you were my best friend, my best self and I just couldn’t face giving it up. You might not understand but I gave you the best of me and after you left, nothing was ever the same.

I just wish you would realise how much you put me through because it seems like you have no idea. You’re acting like I have absolutely nothing to be upset about, are you oblivious or just being selfish? You couldn’t care less about how I feel as long as you’re okay, that’s all that matters to you. I used to care about you so much, I tried so hard to try and get you back until I realised how pathetic I was to be crying over someone who simply didn’t care what he was loosing. You hurt me, you’ve made me feel worthless, unimportant and you broke me as a person. I’ve let you get to me too much, in fact I let you control me. But I’m finally moving on. However, you have taught me one thing, to never hold onto someone who isn’t holding onto you. For me, now I know better, as for you, you lost someone who thought everything of you, who would have gave you everything, your first born son and your family. Honestly it’s been the hardest thing having my heart break whilst being pregnant but it was so worth the pain, for me and my heart. I can’t explain how proud I am because I’m the only one who knows how bad you hurt me but here I am now with my gorgeous little boy, healing.

You left when I believed you would stay, you left my side when I was most vulnerable, I have no bad words for you, I just want to thank you. Thankyou for making me realise my worth, making me realise I deserve better, for making me a stronger person, for leaving me so I could find the lost me.

What I want to know- Was there a smile on your face when I called you crying, texting you begging you to stay?

Were you satisfied that you broke me, and broke all your promises to me and our son?

How can you watch me be a mum to your son, knowing all I do for him and feel nothing?

Does it make your ego bigger to know you have that much power over me? I’ll never know because as it turns out, I clearly never knew you at all.

Even after being so hurt, I still couldn’t stop myself from loving you. Id given up so much for you, invested so much time and energy, it just didn’t seem fair to have to walk away with nothing. What you fail to realise, while you pick and choose when to be a dad, I’m doing everything I can to provide, protect, love and feed our son ON MY OWN. You seem to forget that as well as ensuring our son is cared for how he should be, I'm still trying to mend what you broke and to be completely honest with you, I’m struggling BUT I know I’ll get there. All I want is for you to realise that while I made mistakes and may have hurt you, I also hurt myself in the process but nothing, no one, no pain in this world will ever hurt me more than you walking away from me and Jenson, without a care in the world, like we are nothing and that even though Jenson is here now, still we was never worth fighting for.

When Jenson is old enough, I'll explain to him why his double name is barrelled, and everything I did to put him first, and why his parents aren't together. Not that I would ever bad mouth you, but I hope it helps to shape him into a man that won't just walk away from a difficult situation, and one that will fight for his family no matter what it takes, a real man. I hope that together, we will still be able to raise our son with morals, and respect for women, and to remain having respect for those, even when they least deserve it.

But most of all I just hope that one day, when you genuinely realise how much your missing out on, your bond with Jenson isn't as great as it could be, and I finally find someone who treats me the way I deserve, and takes on Jenson in the future as well, maybe then you'll then realise, the grass isn't greener on the other side. And I hope it hurts like hell.

[prinnyalexis]

I feel so odd. Everyone wants to lose weight fast. Me? I want to gain weight fast. Hahahasomeonehelpmehahahaha

[prinnyalexis]

Happy Pending Father’s Day to my beautiful boyfriend! Even though we are having our problems right now, and living in hope and prayers that things get better between us! Thankyou for healthy little baby boy that we currently have cooking nicely! After being told at 18 it’s unlikely I was ever going to have a child, but I’m so glad I was able to give you a son as a first born like you have always wanted. You’ve made me a stronger person, and a healthier person and this just goes to show it. I couldn’t ask for anyone better to be a father to my child than you. We both love you millions 💙💙💙

[prinnyalexis]

Photos are mine. The left is airbrushed the right isn’t. Do not believe everything you see, the left makes me look slightly healthier, the tan, the softness... The right is the real me. I hate being this skinny, ana will not beat me.💋

[prinnyalexis]

Thank God for photoshop 😂 Photo is my own 🤷🏼‍♀️