#each dm I get I'm like oh man oh man someone wanna talk about my writing!

[sorcerous-caress]

That's my day, how is your day going dear readers?

[harmonyckrs]

Act 2, Scene 4 of Twisted Veronaville: Love Flying Through the Air

THE LAST PAGE

As Antonio was setting up his master plan, Kent had received a surprise visit from aliens, where he had spent the entire night.

Bianca: Welcome home, Kent! How are you feeling?

Gavin: CONGRATS ON THE BABY!

Ginger: Gavin, come on! We don't even know if he's pregnant!

Gabriella: I don't want another sibling!

Kent: I'm not pregnant! And even if they did impregnate me like they did to that guy from Strangetown, I'd just get an abortion! We don't have much room for any new siblings!

Gavin: True.

*RING RING*

Kent: Hello?

Aktu: Heydoyouwanttogooutonanotherdate?

Kent: Sorry?

Aktu: I said, um...

Ripp: You can do it, Aktu!

Ripp/Mercutio/Sita: Aktu! Aktu!

Tybalt: Guys, cut it out! He won't hear what he's saying if you're all chanting. Let the man speak!

Kent: (Is that Tybalt?...and was that Mercutio's voice, too?)

Aktu: ...Alright. So, someone gave me a coupon for two free date night meals at Monty's, so I was thinking we could turn it into an actual date. I had a great time with you despite us never getting food, so...I want to see what a perfect date with you would look like.

Kent: I'd love to, but I'm going to be scheduling a check-up and potentially an abortion today. Got abducted by aliens last night.

Aktu: Oh! Are you okay? The aliens can be pretty rough.

Kent: Yeah, I'm fine. It would've been cool if I could even remember anything...anyway, maybe we can do it tomorrow?

Aktu: Of course! I'll see you in a bit. Love you-er, see you later! Goodbye!

Kent: (Antonio definitely did something here).

On the other side of the river, Miranda had snuck out of the house once more to pay a quick visit to the Montys. With Albany occupied with her siblings, sneaking out had become exponentially easier.

Miranda: (This is it, Miranda! You can finally ask him!)

Romeo: Mercutio's out hanging with some people at Monty's. But I'm here, if you want to talk!

Miranda: (I mean, I guess Romeo's a good option too. Whatever gives me a reason to leave the house more.) Okay! You want to go out on a date, Romeo?

Romeo: Like, what kind?

Miranda: Nothing serious. I just want to chill out and have fun, you know?

Romeo: Neither am I!...wow, we have so much in common! Where were you at the Summerdream party?

Miranda: At home looking after my siblings because Goneril was at work and Albany was out grocery shopping.

Romeo: That late at night?

Miranda: He specifically did it so I couldn't go.

Romeo: Damn, that's shitty.

Miranda: Yeah. But I don't have to worry about it anymore, since he can barely find me on most days. All he thinks about now is Pascal and I've been paying Desdemona money to distract him whenever I need to leave the house.

Romeo: Damn, girl! That's epic.

Miranda: Thanks! Anyway, you wanna like, make out or something?

Romeo: Sure!

As we return to the other side of the river, Albany and Cornwall were discussing important affairs in the latter's newly installed hot tub.

Albany: And he hasn't contacted me since!

Cornwall: Hmph. You deserve better, Albany.

Albany: Thank you. All my children are mad at me as if it's my fault that he seduced me. The little devils are teaming up together to make MY life more miserable.

Pascal: Wow, okay. You beg for my love in my DMs and now you're talking trash about me to other people?

Albany: AH! Pascal! Where did you come from?

Cornwall: Wait, THIS is the guy you've been cheating on her with? Pascal! I thought what we had was special!

Albany: He's been seeing you too?

Pascal: I already told you I was cheating on my husband with you. You never thought to consider that maybe I was cheating on you with other people?

Albany: Pascal...

Pascal: I have a nice idea. Maybe you can help Cornwall cheat on his wife instead of using me...anyway, I'm going to go. If I'm lucky, this will be the last time we see each other.

Cornwall: ...He does have a point. What was it that we were planning to do after we got the money?

Albany: I don't think we ever got that fair.

Cornwall: ...Want to plan it together?

Albany: Eh, sure.

And as the day began to close, Mercutio and Tybalt returned to the Monty house after their group hangout with Hermia, Puck and Ripp.

Tybalt: Thanks for letting me relax in your family's hot tub for a bit, Mercutio. Grandpa has been acting unreasonable. He acts as though I've been possessed just because I have friends now.

Mercutio: (Hermia said the same thing when it was just her, Puck and I.) Yeah, I get it.

Tybalt: And...sorry for beating you up all those times. Fighting you was often the highlight of my day, but I like these moments too.

Mercutio: Aw, don't get sappy with me. And it's all in the past, right? So let's just...not worry about it.

Mercutio: Trying to fight you was pretty fun, though. The idea of beating you one day did keep me going during tough times...but anyway, there was something I've been wanting to ask you, now that nobody else is around us...

Tybalt: Sure. Spit it out.

Romeo: (...Bruh.)

THE NEXT PAGE

[tsintzask]

hey hi hello there

So I am finally getting around to writing a proper intro post lol, so hi, i'm tsintzask, or tsin for short. i use that handle everywhere online pretty much, so if you see a tsintzask elsewhere, chances are it's me.

i have had this blog for a long time now, but only really became active here after reddit decided to ban the app i was using to access it. I was an /r/196 user who migrated to my unused blog, basically.

I'm from Greece, and I study computer science in college. As of the most recent edit, I am doing my masters program, so that's going pretty good.

i would consider myself an anarchist, though i don't think humanity is currently ready for that kind of world - i think there's just too many selfish people around that would seek to take advantage of things. still, the current system has got to go. the fundamental idea behind capitalism is to prioritize money over people, and that's just plain evil.

As for other stuff about me, i have been told before i have neurodivergent vibes (it wasn't in like in a derogatory way, but as a serious thing) and yeah i kinda see that. I ought to go get checked sometime

i like a lot of things, as you can see in my blog description: D&D, Pathfinder, Pokémon, Genshin Impact, Honkai Star Rail, Terraria, insects, cats, memes, cute/wholesome stuff, theater, basic human decency. And I wanna gush about my likes a bit-

D&D and Pathfinder

I've been a player in both d&d 5e and pathfinder 2e, and a DM in d&d 5e. we're talking whole years of doing this. making characters is really fun, and playing them is even more fun! I mostly play online over Discord, but have played a lot irl too, and still do.

Pokémon

While i'm not as into it as i used to in my teens, i have played every game from pokemon pearl up to ultra moon, but not any further as i don't own a switch. that is subject to change if/when i get more into piracy. I've also played pokemon emerald and leaf green in emulators, and i've played mystery dungeon: explorers of darkness. one of the few video games to actually make me cry, btw.

Genshin Impact & Honkai Star Rail

this is my most recent fascination, i've been at it for a couple years now. mihoyo makes their games so incredibly gay and i love that. while i've been a bit burnt out on genshin, i am currently enjoying star rail a whole lot! and i ship a bunch of stuff that sometimes contradicts each other, so if you see conflicting ship arts in my reblogs, there's why. part of it is that i ship kujou sara with every other girl in genshin

btw, feel free to friend me in either game, in the EU server

Genshin UID: 741043259

Honkai Star Rail UID: 700410303

Terraria

oh man, terraria. all of my high school energy and two of my undergrad college years went into this game, it's just so good. I occasionally do modded runs every few months now.

Theater

I'm not a theater nerd or anything, but I did go to an amateur theater group for a couple years. was fun, i'd do it again for sure!

Basic Human Decency

I just think being nice is good. i don't get argumentative often; I used to argue often, but i try to keep most of my interactions with bigots/assholes/etc as a simple joke on their expense before i block them. also, it's taking some effort, but when i have something negative to comment on someone i don't actually have reason to dislike, i've been trying to just let it go and ignore instead.

[formleadsfunction]

f@tt Sangfielle ep. 22 relistening post

(aka my own personal greatest hits)

😭 PLEASE the thought of Lyke and Pickman organizing a play date for Aterika'kaal/Weird Train Plant

love it when they draw something in roll20 and suddenly are like "Oh--what I've done, for people listening to this Via The Podcast..." like hell yeah, guys, you're doing a podcast !!

"Are you cocooning?" "I, I think it's grosser than that."

"I love this game!" <3

The minor God of the Boundless Conclave effectively just Sliding the "foreboding" fallout from Lyke Over to Bucho 😭

Es and Virtue just kinda Passing By Each Other

"I'm gonna go to a doctor at some point, but I'm just gonna try and get arrested by the Glim Macula first." Miss Pickman.......

When they shout out/reference their earlier seasons :)

"It would be risky, cause like... the risk would be you hurting yourself while trying to do this." "Yeahh... ..I'm gonna DM you a worse idea." "Okay, sure." "And you tell me if this is too gross." SylviVoiceILoveThisPodcast.mp3

"I mean, I kill things, but I'm not a murderer."

When Austin sounds low-key pleased about being able to give someone stress and/or fallout bc it seems appropriate for the scene :)

Chine ALSO namedropping Bucho 😭

Chine rolling TWO TENS

"Two things happen at once." :)))

"I think this is a cursed moment!"

"Big Echo Fallout Day here at Friends at the Table!"

"oohh buddy"

"Hey, your organs and bones don't make sense anymore."

"Oh, you've heard of Bad Guys?"

"Does anybody have anything less body horror-y to do?"

"I feel like I'm always healing Jack's characters and doing a really good job."

Keith, in character as Lyke: "So, you're luring them out, you were like heyy I'm your buddy Calen, you should come meet me, annd then.. what?" [Quick beat from Pickman] Austin, delighted: "Friends at the Table, babeyy! Step one, we got it! Step two, yyikes!"

Pickman: "I plan to offer him to the shape." Lyke: "Yyikes!" [muffled sound of Austin losing it in the background]

Lyke using that moment to tell Pickman about the Bad Plant 😭 and getting NOTHING

They're all so good, they're all so autistic also,

wax!Duvall is GREAT

her Very Good Friend

"I truly don't know how often any of you talk to each other." obsessed with this statement

Austin goes on to explain there's just such a professionalism about them, and that's true, but man, what a statement. when I said a few lbing posts ago that truly this group feels most like, kinda like friends

(I'm... not actually sure anybody's actively referred to anyone else as "friend" a whole lot? well, except for Lyke, who does it All The Time)

the full group ic dinner conversation is beautiful, i love it so much, it makes me wanna cryyyy, they're all so good and i love them and waahhhhh

"What's the closest thing to everlasting ember we have in the real world?" "...Uh.. ...Nucl--" "Nuclear power! You have it in your backpack!!"

jello overalls. jelloralls

extremely good downtime-ish episode

[mostlymalena]

Tuesday March 26th 3:26pm

Hello I know I know it's been some time. lots of spelling errors coming your way. I have started carrying around a little notebook so I can write down snippets of things that have happened so I can remember to write about them later. here we go

lets start with Saturday night. The usual group goes out and grace comes since we were close to getting back together (more on that later). We meet up with my good friend Ava at BP. Earlier in the week she posted on her story a picture of me calling me her crush as a joke bc we fuck off a lot and are idiots (love). This bitch Belle who I have hated since the day I fucking met her which was well well over a year ago.

Okay wait context: when me and P were dating his brothers formed a cutie little band and they needed a singer and idk I guess belle was friends with one of them but she joined. She always gave me shady vibes and they were reassured by her being fucking weird with P's brother while she had a boyfriend. Me and P used to talk the biggest shit about her and her behavior so all in all she has always rubbed me the wrong way. Well when she found out P and I had broken up (we were still seeing each other mind you) this bitch went full fucking speed clinging to P's dick. Posting him and asking him to hangout just the two of them, buying him things yada yada. Of course I bitched about it to P and he just amped it up bc it made me jealous.

So I have just icky vibes about her and knew they would hook up once P and I finally stopped talking. What do you know, rumor has it they do and no one is surprised at fucking all. Thank god I'm past the point where that caught me up bc it was sickening to hear about. Now it gives me second hand embarrassment. I feel like the first rule of thumb when you have a rebound is to make sure they are at least even remotely on the same level as your ex.

Anyways Ava posted me and Belle's fucking SISTER slide up going on about how I'm crazy and broke into P's house (no lmao just no) and yada yada. I wanna know if they all have so much to say why do you avoid bluepost so damn much??? yap yap yap on the internet and in my friends dm's and all ups and down town but cannot say shit to my face? Typical.

Can someone please let this 2 by 4 with eyes know that I am not a threat to her relationship with an AI generated line cook with 0 passion or excitement about anything that would extend past algebra and chess. Like please. Im so stupid to think everything was chiller. Legit thought everything was fine I was like like oh we both moving on that chill there is no bad blood lmao. WRONG> WREONG WRONG MALENA.

Also to me there is something about being with a man who is only not still fucking with his ex bc SHE moved on first. That just does not sit right with me. P came back from his trip ready to revamp whatever we had before he left and if I hadn't moved on (thankfully) while he was gone then we would still be swimming in the same circle. Whatever girl he has now or next or whatever he got going on that is not my business has got her work cut out for her. Lord have mercy.

I was really okay about it all but now I just feel like frustrated bc I do not understand why it matters much anymore. Miss me or dont but thats on you. Somedays I'm nostolgic about it somedays im not but im also never afraid to own up to my feelings or behavior. Im confused why men fuck with me and are obsessed with me bc im "different" "weird" "crazy" and "love that you dont act nonchalant" but when they cross me and I still behave that way THEN its a problem?

Mistakes are made when men think they are the exception and they never are nor will be ever again lmao.

I have soccer practice now so I'll have to write more later in the evening.

[fire-and-swan]

Picking up from my previous post, let's jump into Episode 5 of a Starstruck Odyssey!

Live-blog of watching a battle episode is probably gonna be a little more spotty than the ones before, but we'll see.

Because yes, I can admit it, this is turning into a live blog. Blow by blow, here we go.

Surprised it took this long to suggest shifting the slug to another body.

Double nat ones. Always great when that happens (sarcastic). (Now I'm wondering, how many spare sets of dice do they travel with? Cos I know I have a few, but unless I'm running the game, I leave most of them home.)

Eleven hp total? Heck.

17.5 ft off the ground?! That's a jump and a half.

Save Gunnie from further damage, yes. Fewer expenses is better.

Why is it always Murph Brennan makes roll for arrival of NPCs? It made sense in FH, but now? Is this because of the running joke that is Murph's rolls, or just the cool parallel of it? (Especially since they need these folks to show up, just for a very different reason than the first time.)

Only in this game is taking the time, mid battle, to sort things out with your bank a good use of time.

If I had a penny for every time a D20 character took a moment mid battle to sort out their finances, I'd have two pennies. Which isn't bad, but it's weird that it's happened twice.

"In this galaxy, there's always less going on than meets the eye. Many people are coming after you, but they're not all coming after you all, and they don't all know the same stuff, and they don't all talk to each other. Information is currency, and you understand currency." That last sentence is gold. But I grabbed it in context because the crew have a lot of enemies, and if their enemies team up, they'll be in serious trouble.

#BeardsleyBlessed

When the party is more concerned about damage to a little flying scooter than the PC riding it. Barbarians rock, man.

Gunnie is baby? Gunnie can lose his legs. Oh, that is a weird mental image.

Nine of them at once! Yesss. Go Murph!

Banking in the Box! Surprisingly good move.

"I don't wanna fight you." "I don't wanna fight me either."

"Murph would've allowed it. He's a good dm." Murph's reaction, the moment before he gave in and agreed, would say otherwise.

Nat 20! These are the moments to save 20s for. And they got Brennan to kiss the die. Yeah, I wouldn't be rolling with that one in a desperate situation until I'm sure it'll behave.

"That's a pretty neat trick." "Oh, that was just a bonus action." I love the idea that some of these phrases are actually being used in universe, just by the sorts of people who move in particular circles.

Warfare Whitney is on the board! All we're missing now is Barry Nine (and someone with something against Riva), and we'll have the whole set.

Some parties toss halflings, here we toss mercs.

I wanna read that Hot Exit Binder. Sounds like it would be fascinating.

Five star review? Five Star Review!

Damn, that was fun. I had to split the episode in half to get through some other stuff, which was a shame, but eh *shrugs*. Between this and the previous episode they are seeding so many potential plot threads.

I'm starting to get the feeling that Brennan doesn't have a big-bad planned for this season, but rather four or five potential big-bads, with the final battle being determined by how the group play, and who they've already allied with/defeated by the time they get there. Which, if that's the direction this is going, would be cool.

[lacharcutiere]

falling so soft [sawamura daichi]

1k words

previous | masterlist | next ➪

part two of i’m gone i’m gone i’m gone miniseries. time zones suck. being too busy to facetime sucks. not getting to have him as your new years kiss sucks. distractions… actually, those might be okay. but that’s to be determined.

^ if u got the ronny cheng reference lol i love u 👽 anyway, i did not plan that last bit out but,, THE PLOT THICKENS hehehe:)) also oops for having this up 2 hours late lol i totally forgot to queue it

JST: japanese standard time (GMT +9). EST: eastern standard time (GMT -5). EDT: eastern daylight time (GMT -4). man i hate daylight savings time why do we have to switch between the two, hopefully no one notices if i fucked up the math but if u do pls just ignore it <3

tings // fluff, lil bit of soft angst // i swear this søng is abøut eating øut my best friend’s pussy - cøzybøy // dm, ask or comment to be added to the taglist ! minors dni.

☾𓆙𓂻

— MOVE-IN DAY: 29 AUGUST 2021. 08:14 EDT.

your roommate is a talkative, ever-energetic, pretty half-russian girl named alya. she's from new jersey, you learn, just across the river. the two of you are a good match in energy, and she's easy to talk to. you'd chatted a couple times before over instagram, and the tiny bit of japanese she knew combined with your functional knowledge of english has made for conversations that flow easily from subject to subject.

you tell her about daichi, show her pictures of the two of you together from graduation, the summer—whatever you can find. she immediately loves the two of you together, excitement seeming ready to bubble over at how cute you must be, and you need to remind her over and over that you're just friends with him for now.

— 16 NOVEMBER, 2021. 10:23 EST.

according to the new york natives, this year's first snowfall is early. usually, alya tells you, it doesn't snow before thanksgiving.

— CHRISTMAS CARDS, DECEMBER 2021

from daichi (written 16th december, received 22nd december. opened on christmas day, 00:03 eastern standard time.)

from you (written 12th december, received 18th december. opened as soon as it arrived, 17:14 japan standard time.)

— 18TH DECEMBER, 2021. 23:03 JST, 09:03 EST.

you wake up to your phone buzzing on your bedside table, rubbing your face groggily as you fumble for it and see who it is.

“of course you’re still my favorite,” is the first thing he says as soon as you accept the call. and then, “oh shit, did i wake you up? i’m so sorry—“

you cut him off with a sleepy laugh, assuring him that no, it’s okay, for him you don’t mind.

"d'you get the card yet?" he sounds so excited, almost childlike; it's adorable, and you can't help but laugh some more.

"i did," you say, "but i'm saving it. i'm gonna open it on christmas."

he snorts. "i say open it now. i opened yours as soon as i saw it."

"yeah, but i'm talking to you now, i wanna save it so i have new things to hear from you even if you can't call."

"who says i won't call?"

"no one, but just in case."

— CHRISTMAS DAY 2021. 00:12 EST, 14:12 JST.

daichi's about to second guess calling you when he remembers you never go to bed early if you can help it, and especially not while you're off school. and, speak of the devil, his phone rings right then.

"hey." it's dim in your room, but he can hear the smile in your voice and that's all he needs.

"hey."

"i opened your card."

"did you, now?"

"mhm." you must be in bed; he can hear you nuzzling down into a downy comforter and yawning. it's adorable. "i miss you."

"i miss you, too."

there's silence on your end of the line for a while, save for breathing and blankets shifting around, and daichi takes it as his cue. "get some sleep," he tells you, "i can call you again tomorrow."

he hears you sigh—such a pretty sound—and then you speak again, barely above a whisper. "daichi?"

"hm?"

"can you just... stay on for a bit? just, like, until i'm asleep?"

and he laughs a little, but (unbeknownst to you, passed out within the next few minutes) he doesn't hang up for another hour.

— NEW YEAR’S EVE 2022. 23:58 JST, 09:58 EST.

he calls you just in time for the beginning of the new year (at least, where he is). it’s funny, you point out, how for thirteen hours you’ll be living in two different years. time zones are a bitch.

— 23:55 EST, 13:55 JST.

“welcome to 2022,” he says with a laugh when he picks up the phone. “‘s been pretty uneventful so far.”

— 16 FEBRUARY 2022. 09:55 EST.

a guy in your calc class comes up to you after a lecture and asks you if you’re single.

he’s not unattractive, and he’s smart. you’ve chatted a couple times and he’s always been easy to talk to. he’s funny, and he’s an international student from japan, too. you don’t know what to say at first; you wonder what daichi would want you to say. but you remember, you’re just friends for now.

you tell tōru yes.

— 11:03 EST, 01:03 JST.

feeling unbelievably guilty as you wait for your phone to ring while sitting on a bench outside the dining hall, you wonder what you're even supposed to tell him. that there's someone else? that you want to try seeing other people? how can you soften the blow without sounding like you're trying to make excuses for yourself? and it's not like your heart isn't still set on him and him only, but how can you possibly convince daichi of that?

so you're incredibly surprised to find out that daichi almost... doesn't mind. you don't miss the way his voice tenses up a little after you tell him, but you know that whatever he says, he's always honest with you. he even almost laughs at you for how stressed you seem.

"friends, remember? 's okay. it doesn't mean you can't see other people, just that we can tell each other whatever. and that i'll support you."

"you're not jealous?"

he pauses for a second, thinking, before saying, "i mean, honestly? i am, i guess." he stops again and you don't say anything, almost afraid. "but whatever we are, if you're happy, then it's okay. and tōru's a good guy." he huffs a short laugh. "if he were a shitty person, that'd be a very different story."

that's another surprise to you; apparently he and tōru were at least somewhat acquainted with one another. volleyball, daichi tells you.

small world.

☾𓆙𓂻

when you finally end the call, realizing how late it is in japan and that he must be needing to go to bed, you can't tell whether you feel less guilty knowing that he doesn't think you're in the wrong, or more guilty knowing that he's willing to sacrifice his wants for yours.

taglist: @sakruisin-thru @softetsurou @oligbia

[neptunetheplanet7]

𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐞𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 - 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐨𝐬 𝐛𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐤𝐬 𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐧𝐞𝐫

DM ME IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO BE PUT ON THE TAGLIST!!

;mikasa ackerman x fem!lesbian!reader

;modern au, band au

word count: 3.3k

warnings: fluff at first, angst ig, angry levi, hitch, swearing, arguing/fighting, yelling

sorry it took a while to get this out there. school started for me last week and it’s been hard getting back into the groove of things. thank you for being patient with me!

listen to the music masterlist

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A couple of days passed since Zeke's sudden arrival. Eren agreed to your terms of his brother's stay with reluctance. He understood where you were coming from, though. Armin was right about him respecting your decision.

Tonight you and your bandmates would meet your large friend group at a nice restaurant nearby. You stood in the bathroom attached to your room, styling your hair the way you wanted.

In the last two days, you received texts from a few of your curious friends. They all seemed very interested in who you were bringing to dinner. If only they knew it was the strong-willed girl you'd had a crush on for years.

Sasha and Connie put the pieces together and teased you relentlessly about 'bringing a date to dinner'.

You were nervous to see the reactions of your friends when you walked in with Mikasa. Unlike you, they didn't get a warning of her return.

Stepping back from the counter and smoothing down your outfit, you exhaled softly. You took one final glance at the mirror and left the bathroom.

Two blonds were arguing in the living room when you entered.

"What's going on?" you asked cautiously.

"We can't leave him alone in the house while we're out. He's like a child! He already broke two vases because he slipped while looking for spare change!" Armin explained. He was wearing a white dress shirt and black slacks. He ran a hand through his silk hair then placed both hands on his hips.

Zeke protested, "Y/n, you can trust me. Don't listen to him, he's delusional." He was still in his usual attire, a t-shirt, and jeans.

Armin's face turned red from anger. "Why you-"

"You broke my vases?" you interrupted.

"No."

"He did! I watched him do it the second time!"

You learned the hard way that messing with Armin was a death sentence. Especially when he was mad. The argument had to stop before it turned physical.

"Zeke, get dressed. You're coming with us, but you sit far away. You don't talk to us or our friends." You pointed a stern finger at him.

He pouted and groaned like a child before slumping his shoulders and stomping down the basement stairs.

Armin rubbed a hand over his face and, in an annoyed fashion, checked his watch. "Will they ever be done?"

You chuckled. "You're always the first one ready. Don't you know that by now?"

He rolled his eyes and fell back on the couch. "Shut it."

Eren appeared at the basement door, looking frustrated. In his hand, he held out the tie to the suit he was wearing. "How the hell do you tie this thing?"

Armin sighed and stood back up, his rest short-lived. They made their way over to him and began to walk him through each step while his eyebrows only furrowed more.

His long hair fell around his face as he tried his best to maneuver the tie correctly. His face lit up once he got it right.

"How have you gone this long without knowing how to tie a tie?" Jean leaned his head out of the hall bathroom, which you didn't even know he was in.

"Shut up, Kirstein. I get by." He glared.

Jean laughed and fully emerged from the bathroom wearing a beige suit vest and slacks. Underneath, he wore a cream-colored dress shirt with the sleeves rolled up. His hair was tied back in a short ponytail with a few strands falling loose.

Your eyes shifted back to Eren, who was struggling to put on his suit jacket and you stifled a laugh.

"Stop laughing! It's not funny." His words were hard to understand since he held around three bobby pins between his teeth.

You laughed some more despite his agitation. You were disrupted by the light clacking of heels on the stairs to the second story. Looking in that direction, you saw Mikasa walking down and you had to stop your mouth from dropping open.

She was wearing a simple tight black dress that reached just above her knees. Silver dangly earrings were in her ears and a dainty silver necklace hung around her neck. Her ring adorned fingers played with the hem of her dress. She smiled at you from across the room.

Eren bumped your hip and you nearly shrieked. His presence next to you had gone unnoticed until then. He snickered at you and nodded to Mikasa. You narrowed your eyes and tugged a lock of hair out of his bun.

His smirk dropped. "What'd you do that for? Now I have to do this all over again. Bitch." he grumbled the insult and left your side.

Mikasa walked over to where you stood. "Hi."

"Hi." You returned her smile.

She sucked a quiet breath. "You look nice."

You couldn't fight the grin that spread across your face at her simple compliment. "As do you."

She smiled again and you felt you might collapse from the surge of butterflies in your stomach.

Zeke came up from the basement, gaining everyone's attention. "What the hell are you wearing?" Eren chided.

He was adorned in a baby blue suit with ruffles decorating the dress shirt. You struggled to hold in your laughs, as did the woman beside you.

"Don't talk about it." Zeke lowered his eyes to the floor as Eren laughed loudly without shame.

"Marco's here to pick us up," Jean announced, shoving his phone into his pocket. He wanted to see Marco's reaction to Mikasa's homecoming at the dinner, but that dream was cut short when she answered the door to him the day prior. He was shocked, to say the least.

Sure enough, when you looked tho the front door, you could see the glare of Marco's headlights in the darkness.

He waved you all over to get in his car. Jean sat in the passenger seat, perks of dating the driver. In a backseat that was designed for three people, you were crammed inside with Armin, Eren, and Mikasa. Zeke was forced to ride in the trunk.

Mikasa was pressed up against your skin. In the confinement of the car, you could feel her warm breath tickling your shoulder whenever she spoke.

A shiver ran through your body and your hands gripped your knees. Nobody noticed, thank god. You were very grateful that the only light sources were phone screens and the button rims inside the car.

Everyone chatted mindlessly until Marco turned a corner into a parking lot. He parked the car near the entrance and got out with everybody following suit.

Once you were inside, you were greeted with the familiar smell of the restaurant. It was the one you always went to when meeting up with the group. You didn't know the owners, but Reiner did, and he was the one who planned these gatherings.

"Welcome to Galliard's!" greeted a blond man whose name tag read Colt. A look of recognition crossed his face. "Oh, it's you guys. Right, this way." He grabbed a menu for each person and led you to a large booth in the middle of the restaurant.

You took a good look at everyone. You all went to the same high school, some of you just didn't meet until later. Like you, Sasha, and Connie.

Five people were seated at the table. Two were missing. Ymir and Historia were late. Figures.

They all saw Mikasa looming behind you since each of them had some form of shock on their face. Several voices suddenly arose from the group.

"When did you get back? And why did I not hear about it?" voiced a betrayed Bertholdt.

"Mikasa, I didn't know you would be here," Annie said coolly.

"Oh my god, Mikasa!" Connie tried to act surprised.

"Mikasa! I had no idea you'd be here." It turns out Sasha was just as bad of an actor.

"This is your plus one, Y/n?" Reiner held a knowing expression.

"So no one is happy to see me?" Eren sounded hurt.

Reiner wasted no time standing up to pull you in for a hug. He pulled back after a few seconds and held you by the shoulders at an arm's length away. "Like the beard?" He gestured to his chin.

"Sure, Reiner, it suits you." You patted his shoulder and he returned your cheerful smile. He moved to talk to the others as Bertholdt came into your view.

When he hugged you, you noticed how much taller he was than you. You had to stand on your tip-toes to see over his shoulder. "What the hell, Bertholdt?" You fucking ladder," you blurted.

He laughed at your lovely way with words. "Hi, Y/n. It's been a while. I'm glad to see you're still doing well."

"It has. I feel like I haven't seen you in forever. How's it going at the school?"

"It's definitely going. I'll tell you about it in a second. You wanna sit down?" He moved to the side to let you slide into the booth. Mikasa was on your right and Bertholdt was on your left.

Everyone was seated except for Zeke, who stood there awkwardly, unsure of what to do. Eren told him to find someone to get him to a table. He just pushed up his glasses and left.

Across from you sat Sasha, Connie, and Jean who were laughing their asses off at something Marco said. Reiner, Eren, and Armin sat on the cushy bench across from Annie who sat on one of the three chairs pulled up to the table.

"So, Mikasa, when did you get back?" Annie asked.

"Earlier this week."

"What? You've been here that long and we didn't know?" Reiner gaped at her.

"We thought it'd be a nice surprise." You shrugged.

"I thought you were bringing a date. Or is she your date?" Connie teasingly wiggled his eyebrows while Sasha laughed loudly.

You blushed madly at his question. "Shut up, guys! You already knew I was bringing her, anyway."

"You knew?" Bertholdt's eyes boggled.

"No wonder you're so calm. Out of everyone I'd expect you two to go ballistic," Annie pointed out.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Connie lifted his arms in an attempt to appear threatening.

A new voice spoke, "It means you're an idiot." You looked up to see Ymir stood behind Annie's chair with one hand around Historia's shoulders and one in the pocket of her suit jacket.

"Ymir, hi!" You greeted and she raised an eyebrow.

"This is your date?" She chuckled.

"She's not my date," you grumbled, folding your arms. Ymir just snickered and sat in the chair next to Annie's, Historia sitting next to her.

"Quit it, Ymir. Is that all you have to say to someone we haven't seen in two years?" she scolded her girlfriend.

"How is it, Mikasa?" Ymir turned and asked.

"It's good. Glad to be back." She gave a small smile.

"That's good to hear! We're all happy you're back," Historia said with enthusiasm. Mikasa nodded in response.

You picked up your conversation with Bertholdt from earlier about his job. He was an elementary school teacher and from what he told you, he was very good at what he did.

Other conversations went on, jokes were told, and by the time the waitress came to the table for your orders, you'd caught up with everyone. The whole group was excited Mikasa came home and it showed.

Her hand brushed against yours multiple times under the table and your shoulders tensed up whenever they touched hers. She didn't seem to mind the contact. You wished she'd just take your hand since you were too scared to do so yourself.

Those moments of giddiness were short-lived because you noticed two familiar figures at a table toward the back.

Hitch smiled maliciously and waved at you while bringing her champagne glass to her lips. Marlo sat across from her on his phone, drumming his knuckles on the table.

Your eyes widen and you quickly move away from Mikasa, startling her.

"Are you okay, Y/n?" She placed a hand on your shoulder with a worried expression.

"I'll be right back." You brushed her hand off and shimmied out of the booth, heading to the bathroom.

You pushed the door open and luckily no one was inside. Your hands gripped onto the edge of the counter as your mind raced. What the hell were they doing here? Why tonight? Your blood was beginning to boil as you became angrier by the second.

The door swept open and in walked the woman of the hour. "Hello, Y/n," she sang.

"What are you doing here? Can I not have a meet-up with my friends without you riding my dick?" you sneered, looking at her in the mirror.

Shock flashed across her face and she let out a breathy laugh. "Such colorful language, Y/n! I didn't expect that from you!" She turned to face the sinks and your eyes met in the mirrors.

"What are you doing here, Hitch?"

"I'm having a nice dinner with my friend, that's what I'm doing. It just so happens you were here tonight as well," she said.

"So it's a coincidence? If you say so, I don't believe you."

"That's exactly what it is. You don't have to believe it, but it's the truth. I can promise I wasn't planning on spying on you tonight." She blew her bangs away from her face.

She honestly couldn't tell if she was lying or not but your anger level was rising quickly and you didn't know if you'd be able to stop yourself from saying something you would regret.

"What is your problem, Hitch? Seriously, have you nothing better to do? I haven't seen half of those people in months." You tore your eyes away from the mirror to fully look at her.

"I told you, Y/n. I wasn't here for you. I don't have a problem." She narrowed her eyes as she stood at her full height, facing you.

You scoffed. "Tell me what your problem is. I want to hear you say why you're doing all this. You never did give me an explanation."

"I don't have a problem."

"Yes, you do. Why did you follow me in here? Do you think you can intimidate me or something?"

"I know I can intimidate you. Stop acting like you're the one with the power right now. I'm the one who has the guts to tell people what we were. You wanna know my problem? My problem is you. You couldn't get over a stupid high school crush. You still aren't over it and it's fucking weak."

You backed away as she got angrier with every word she spat. She hesitated for a moment and inhaled sharply.

"What's weaker is how much I care. I gave a shit about you and you couldn't see that she didn't. I knew about your feelings the whole time. You think I'm dumb? I know you thought of me as a distraction. And I liked being your distraction. But you run away from everything. You're a fucking coward."

You were too shocked to even try to apologize. Your mouth fell open and tears pricked your eyes.  Her breathing was ragged and her eyes were big. She blinked several times and the light caught a few wet streaks on her face when she turned her head.

"Hitch, I-"

"Please, don't say anything."

The state of shock you were sent into was broken when a sudden bang sounded outside of the bathroom.

Hitch looked desperate to get out of the situation, so she took the opportunity to bolt out of the bathroom. You took a moment to compose yourself before leaving to assure your friends you were okay.

The moment you stepped out of the bathroom, you stopped dead in your tracks when you were greeted with the jarring sight of Zeke seconds away from being punched in the face.

A man with short black hair was kneeling on Zeke's table with one hand gripping his collar and the other pulled back in fist.

"Zeke Jaeger right? You owe me a lot of money and my wedding ring," the man seethed and punched Zeke hard in the jaw.

He fell to the floor, clutching where he was hit. You stood there, stunned. Just as the man was bringing his leg forward to kick him, your instincts kicked in and you rushed to crouch in front of him.  You braced yourself for the impact that never came.

"You'd really kick a woman?" an unfamiliar voice spoke.

You looked up and saw him being held back by a man with a slicked back undercut and a bomber jacket adorned with patches.

Eren and Mikasa were at your side in an instant with the others following closely behind.

"Are you okay, Y/n?" Mikasa put her hands on your shoulders and you nodded. Eren shot you a worried glance while tending to Zeke.

The short man was still being held back by the guy from before, but now someone new was at his side. He looked like bomber jacket dude but with a different hair color and style. He was trying to talk down the black-haired man.

Bomber jacket interrupted, "Look, dude, you're scaring my customers. We don't do that shit in here. One of my waitresses panicked and called the cops. They'll be here soon for you if you don't take this the fuck outside."

"Porco! Watch your language," the brunette hissed. 'Porco' glared at, who you assumed was, his brother.

Eren and Mikasa helped Zeke up and began to lead him out of the restaurant. You and the others followed, except Annie, Reiner, and Bertholdt who stayed to talk to the restaurant owners.

Once you had safely gotten outside, you sat Zeke down on a bench. Sasha managed to snag some napkins for his wound.

Everyone except for you, Eren, and Mikasa were seated on the sidewalk. You three were also on the bench.

The door to the restaurant was pushed open and two voices were heard. The short man was walking out and a taller blond man was lingering behind.

He noticed Zeke and stopped his mumbling. He pointed a shaky finger at him and his face contorted into a nasty glare.

"Where's my money, bitch?" he shouted.

"Levi, why don't you calm down before you do something again." The blond man said.

'Levi' scoffed. "I just want my money back. And my wedding ring. Where the fuck is my wedding ring?"

The color drained from Zeke's face. Levi yelled at him again, "Where the fuck is it?"

"I pawned it."

If looks could kill, Zeke would be dead. The pure anger that was displayed on the man's face was enough to make you cower.

"Let me at him!" Levi purged forward and Jean attempted to stop him, but just ended up on the concrete. He pushed past Eren and in the blink of an eye, Zeke was on the ground. He was getting the shit beat out of him in front of your eyes.

Your friends yelled at him to get off. The man who was following him tried to hold him back, but Levi seemed even angrier than he was inside the restaurant. Eren tried pulling Zeke away with help from Mikasa.

Sirens sounded in the distance and you knew they were growing closer with each passing second. The staff hadn't called off the police, you realized. "Guys," you called.

"I'm gonna kill you!"

The sirens were muffled by the yells.

"Stop, Levi!"

They were clearer.

"Get off him!"

They were loud.

"What the fuck is your problem?"

Blaring lights could be seen over the hedges.

"Get off my brother!"

"Guys!" you yelled over everyone. You pointed to the police cars that were now pulling into the parking lot.

posted: 9/7/21

neptunetheplanet7© 2021

no reposts, edits, or modification to my work by anyone other than me.

[cheemken]

Hello! I'm sorry for bothering, but is it okay to ask for your side on your and Pandora's love story? You guys are so sweet! I wish the best for you guys!

Well hello to you too hahah

And my side, ghm? Well,,, it's gonna be a trip since I just woke up and I'm doing this all in one go so I hope it makes sense at the end hahahah

Anyways owo

Twas a fine, lovely afternoon—

No really, it was. Like... I was scrolling through the comments of my old fics and I saw,, Bella commented hahah

And I was all "oh cool :3"

Then a lil skip and I saw her, pandora-dusk, commenting on the post I have of the fic and I was all "huh.. is this the same person??" I thought it was, she's all "I found it!" Or smth, and hey said the fic was dope and I was all "omf is this secretly a famous person—"

So I checked her blog, and I was all, "yeah okay I feel this person is famous so why is she talking to me cjskcbskdn"

But like,, yeah,, twas dope hahah

And we only get to talk in the replies because I refuse to talk to someone famous cause I'd embarrass myself owo

But then, in one of our chats in the notes and such, she mentioned how she draws and such and I was all "NFKSNDKSN YOU DRAW :D" and hey, I told her that people would absolutely love her art and such and yeah, surprise surprise, she posted her drawings and I was all ":0!!!! YO DAS SO COOL!" And then I remember reblogging it and had some on my save tag hahaha

It's so dope hahah

But y'know what happened next? The lil shit Tumblrbot messaged me and I low-key panicked cause "omf did I do smth wrong am I getting kicked out of Tumblr???" You can tell my mind was racing, but when I saw their message and they just "hey, you liked pandora-dusk's post, you should try talking to her owo" and I was all "hahah w h a t—"

Legit it took me a while to actually try to message her cause I was just "hhhHhnnn okay but what if she's busy and she finds it annoying omfs cjsmxjsm"

But hey I just up and "fuck it, if I managed to message Dee despite them being famous too, why not her?" So I sucked it up and yeah, messaged her hahaha

If you saw Pan's post, then yeah, you'd see how it went down

Anyways yeah, after that, we didn't talk much and every time I check my notifs, my thumb just hovers over her icon cause I still wanna talk to her and such, but I feel like I'm annoying her, so I just wait for replies and such hahah

Tis sad, but hey

Then that thing with Jane Angst™ happened, and good lord the reblogs jcsmjdks hahahaha

It escalated to the point we made the Knight and the Princess and we finally took it to the DM's cause hah, the reblogs were getting long hahah

AND OH MY GOD

Okay so we made progress with the lil story of the Knight and Princess, yeah? I fucking shit you not, I did not sleep because of that hahahah

I think yesterday, yeah, we were talking about this ask and it went to that thing of us with the Princess and Knight, and I told her that I didn't sleep for her just to try to finish that, that's how special she was and I didn't even know her yet–

But hey yeah, another mini skip

Then more shit happened to me, I didn't sleep and twas already two, and then.. she messaged me hahah

And then told me so many things and I discovered more about her too

And I could feel myself falling for her

Do you know how scary that was hahaha

She's so amazing.. no chance, yeah? I convinced myself that there's no chance. As if we'd meet. As it she'd like me. No one likes me like that irl, so why would she like me? She doesn't even know me.

But,,, ehhh,,, idk man. Couldn't stop myself hahah

She's just so nice and so dope and so understanding. She's so caring, so talented, and just.. she's amazing in general. And that scared me so much hahaha

Cause I'm nothing owo

I always like people with no chance of liking me back and I've been hurt so much hahah

But did I continue liking her anyways? Yep.

It didn't help that after drawing human Tumblrbot, Al— well,, star anon during that time, sent asks how Pan and I are kinda T's parents and oh my god I was all "that's so fucking adorable but hhHhhH is she comfortable with this cjskjdk" then I saw her actually draw shit for T too and I was just ":'0!!" And yeah, I started falling more and more hahah

Everyday I couldn't stop thinking about her, but I keep telling myself to just forget her cause "there's no chance. No one likes you irl, why expect she'd like you? Once she sees what you look like, she's gonna be disgusted. Disgusted probably like everyone else." And that broke me.. cause hah.. I really did like her, but yeah, we don't talk much so I just "ehh.. sure.."

But did I really stop? Nah.

Look I fell hard jcksjxksns

And hey I kept gushing about her to the GC and to my best friend hahaha

Dee actually thought Pan and I were dating and I was all "hah, I wish—"

And then my best friend was all "omf you have a gf na without telling me—" but hey I told her we weren't together and she was all "WHAT??? BUT?? YOU TWO ARE SO SWEET???"

And yeah hahaha

Another timeskip

Like,, Halloween?? Yeah hahah

Halloween onwards

We started talking more and more and oh my god I fell h a r d

I get to know more about her and the more she shared the more I fell and like,,, the more I see her as herself hahah

And god, she's so amazing

She might not believe it, but she is

And everyday I keep telling her how she's so great, basically, I was trying to flirt with her hahahahah

Cause like,, there might be a small ass chance yeah? Yeah hahah

And hey,, we talked and such, and,, hahah it seems like we were together but not. I told her that when we finally meet, I'm taking her out on a date hahah

And yeaahhhhh,,,

Another mini skip, now it's November, and hah, the eleventh came and on the twelfth, we had like this swab test and such and I was scared af and I just "hhhnnn might as well"

So take note, in my part it's like?? What?? Twelve? Eleven going on twelve am

But in hers it's the afternoon still

DO YOU KNOW HOW COLD MY HANDS WERE

So yeah, I confessed to her hahah

AND YO

SHE ACTUALLY??? LIKES ME BACK????

GODDAMN JCSKJXKSNXKSNS

And yeah owo

I messaged my bestfriend first about it cause she was still online and yeah we celebrated hahahaha

But yeah, then we talked more, we saw what each other looked like (y'all she's so fucking pretty cjskjdks like goddamn) and surprisingly, she doesn't think I look like shit, then we called, and hcksjdksjs

It was just so great hahaha

And hey, yeah, we got to know more about each other and boom, we be here now owo

I hope that suffices cause my memory be shit and I probably missed a few but hey hahah

[softshuji]

Oh baby baby baby, *takes your face in my hands* I am happy, and I'm sure Rin is happy too. He would say if he wasn't. I think you're amazing for the fact that you think that in the first place.

relaxes in your hold a little

Are you? What if I have to leave you two someday? Would you both care and look out for each other?

My love, my beautiful Ran. You ARE a good man. You don't gotta be afraid of whether you're enough. You will always be more than enough. As for the danger? *waves hand* who cares? I can use a weapon by myself (canon and true actually). Heck I could even shoot people for you<3 Consider it a token of my love.

So you would shot someone for me? Because you might have to some day. I hope to keep you far away from this but... if not..

Just promise me to not use knives alright? Not the best weapon, rather get yourself brass knuckles, lovebird.

Ran, 'm okay with you not letting me go, in fact I'd like that. You're the apple of my eye Ran. Don't forget that ok

"The apple of my eye"- from where did you get that sappy sentence, love?

So you'll stay with me until death do us apart?

- beloved

. (hey ran mod im sorry to hear you had a bad day, I had a bad one too. listen, if you wanna talk, about anything at all, outside of this or whatever, my dms are always open to you ok? you dont gotta be alone or be sad by yourself. ily ran mod!!)

(Ran mod is just in an angst mood and didn't think it would be the best thing to talk in this state, just ignore me, sunshine)

*kisses your nose* you're very adorable you know that?

Of course I'd look after Rin if something happened to you. Though... whoever wants to hurt you has to go through me first and i'll kick their asses myself.

Yes I'd shoot someone for you. Fun fact about me, but I'm actually a really fucking good shot. And I'm good in dangerous situations! So don't worry about that. Maybe if you need a sharpshooter one day, you have one right here! *points at myself*

Knives are too messy and For the record I've used brass knuckles before too. THAT'S A WHOLE STORY BY ITSELF.

I am full of sappy sentences Ran. Apple of my eye, light of my life etc, take your pick. My brain is for love and silly pick up lines .

Bold of you to assume death would do us part. I'll fight the afterlife, I'll fight anyone for u <3

Yours always and with love, Hal <3

(ah ok Ran mod, just know the offer stands ok<3 if you wanna vent or anything, even outta character. I'm down to listen, love u!)

[rebelcap]

We are not just friends —Part 12

Chris Evans x bi!latina!character (Sofia is a people of color, she's brown.)

Chris and Sofia meet when their best friends started dating, it all started at friends with loads of bumps on the road.  

Warnings: drinking, smoking, drug use (weed), assault, Chris being Steve Rogers, commitment issues, my girl Sofia kinda messy, lots of fucking (eventually) 

This is slow burn at its best, at least emotionally. 

Series masterlist

"You know friends with benefits never work, don't you?" Amanda told Sofia as she rolled her eyes and sigh.

"I don't wanna be his girlfriend," Sofia shrugged, setting her phone in silence as the Twitter and Instagram notifications kept coming. Apparently, people found out who she was and they were blowing up her phone. Obviously, she didn't acknowledge it.

"Says no woman ever,"

"I know, but—look," Sofia sighed again and sat straighter on the couch facing her friend, she looked around because they were in Amanda's parent's house about to lunch. "He's the first queer, nonwhite, Latina, immigrant woman he ever wanted to date, I mean look at all of his exes."

"Okay, he's definitely into brunettes and white,"

"Yes, there's a part of me that's thinking that maybe he's…" Sofia tried to think of a subtle way to say it. "experimenting, and there's going to be nowhere and that left me high and dry when he realized that he's not that into me that much."

"Have you asked him?"

"No," She answered and Mandy just looked at her with a raised eyebrow. "He's going to say that's not true."

"Because it's not. Why does it seems like I know him more than you do, he never said anything remotely like that." She now rolled her eyes at her. "This is you sabotaging yourself, as usual."

"No, it's me trying to protect myself. I don't wanna fall in love with him and shit,"

"Again, talk with him. I'm sure he'll compromise with you at some level,"

"He's away all the time and I hate flying, I hate LA,"

"Oh my God,"

"I'm going to get all weird seeing him kissing other people," Sofia explained. "and he's going to think I'm an insecure, immature little girl that can't handle that." Sofia pouts and crosses her arms.

"Sofia," Her friend scoot closer on the couch and looked at her. "I heard you, about everything and I'm not trying to invalidate how you feel about it, but you need to communicate if you what this to work out for you."

"I'm scared Mandy, because I really like him," Her eyes got all glossy. "I know he's a good man but I'm scared shitless. I can't physically take another loss. You know how hard it was for me to leave my ex, just because of that and it got so fucking ugly on the end."

"I know, I was there," She said and her bottom lip tremble. " crying with you non stop for two years, I know but you know she's a piece of shit and took advantage of you because you were in a very vulnerable position."

"Yeah, I know," Sofia wipe her tears with the back of her hand and sighed, "Stop crying, you're making me cry,"

"I just want you to be happy, you're my best friend I love you so much," Amanda was full-blown sobbing hysterically as Sofia was holding her and chucking. "Capitan America wants to be your boyfriend stupid bitch," She kept sobbing and Sofia laughed.

"I know, I'm just emotional and I'm about to get my period, hormones."

"Your period?" Amanda asked separating and looked at her, pensively. "wait, what date is today?"

"It's the fourteen,"

"Oh,"

Sofia sat down straighter and give her a look. "Are you late?"

"Yeah," Amanda said looking down at her stomach. "Like, three weeks late."

Sofia looked at her belly and mutter. "Jesus, Maria y Jose."

"Holy shit." Amanda blinked a few times and they stare at each other for a full minute.

"Your dad it's going to fucking kill Luke."

~~~~

It's been around a week and a handful of days since the last time Sofia saw Chris, he was already in town since last night but he slept on his mom's house.

Also, Amanda was fucking pregnant.

You up?

She texted Chris at two am. Of course, he wasn't because he was an old man.

I gotta tell u something.

It's important and I need to tell someone I'm really bad at secrets, I just can't.

But you can't tell

I'll literally kill u,

And I'm getting away with it because I know too much about murder men, it's insane.

I'm up, I'm up. I'm watching a movie with Scott, he says hi and also wants to meet u and plot murder.

Also, what's the juicy secret?

Amanda is pregnant and your brother is way handsome than you.

Chris was calling almost immediately.

"Excuse me?"

"Amanda is having a baby,"

"No, about Scott being handsome than me," He asked and Sofia let out the loudest laugh, God she needed that.

"Oh my God, you're an idiot," She laughed. "I miss your face."

" I miss you, too." He laughed.

"Is Scott there?, we follow each other on Twitter and made fun of you."

"You two what," He asked and she could hear Scott laughing on the background. "You made fun of me with my girl?"

"Yeah, I slide in her DMS." Scott laughed and Chris was red as a tomato.

"Dude," He said and Sofia heard a lot of ow's and she laughed. "And about the other things, what the fuck?"

"Yes, I'm freaking out. Mandy's at Luke's house now but I don't know, she didn't text me. I can't sleep," She groaned and Chris stood quiet for a moment.

"Want me to come over?"

"Please?"

~~~

"Oh, hi," Sofia exclaimed as soon she opened the door, Chris grabbed her face and plant a quick kiss.

"Hi," He smiles, still cupping her face. "Hello," Chris kissed her again making her laugh.

"You dork," She said as she took his hand and took it to the kitchen, "Want something? I'm about to stress bake."

Chris laughed while he sat on the high chairs. "Mandy didn't text u?"

"No, dude. I'm freaking out, I know Luke it's the sweetest," She said giving her back to Chris as she measures some flour.

"He's going to be over the moon, I'm not supposed to tell you this but he's been thinking about proposing,".

Sofía was taken aback for a moment there but a huge smile, she turned around and look at him.

"Are our best friends getting married and having a kid?"

Chris laughed and nod, "Yeah, guess so?"

"Yeah," She smiles. "So weird," She turned around and Chris walked up to her, leaning on the counter beside her.

"Why?"

"Don't know, I'm happy don't get me wrong, I just. It's weird for me because it's," She stumbles over her words a little. "it's the first time I'm seeing this going right for someone I deeply care about."

Chris made a face and she laughed.

"I have really shitty examples on my life," She went again to her baking. "My mom and dad fought a lot, they had to get married because they were having my brother—

"Wait, you have a brother?," He asked, surprised. "You never mentioned him."

"We don't really speak, well I don't speak to him,"

"Why?"

Sofía pursed her lips together and give Chris a look, she didn't want him to think less of him or him judging her about what went down.

"Can we skip that part?"

Chris quickly nod, "Yeah, of course," He said putting a hand on her shoulder. "whenever you're ready,"

"Okay," She nod too and remained silent. "it's just, I'm sorry." Sofia took a deep breath and wipe a tear. "I've never had a normal family dynamics until I've meet Mandy's family and a still feel so out of place sometimes, it's weird—" She chuckles. "I'm weird."

"It's not weird, you're not weird. I've gathered that you went through some shit that no kid should go through," Chris said and Sofia stopped moving and looked at the bowl in front of her. "things that obviously hurt you still."

"Stop." She told him trying not to cry and took another deep breath trying to pass the lump on her throat but her lower lip was trembling.

"Hey, hey," Chris grabbed her and hugged her, but she pushed him away and went back to the counter.

"You like muffins?" She asked in a small voice and Chris just stare at her, he just shut him out on whatever it's going up with her. "Do you?"

"Yeah, yes. Are you okay?"

"Yeah," She nod.

Sofía was feeling like an idiot, she didn't want to be crying on his arm about her shitty life, to someone that obviously couldn't relate because he also had the perfect family, the perfect brothers. His fucking life was perfect. She didn't want him to see her like a wounded little girl.

"Sofia?"

"Just drop it, forget about it." She said going to the fridge and grabbed some milk.

"What? come on baby, you know you can talk about me about anything," Chris told her and she just chuckles. "Is this funny to you?"

"I can't talk to you about everything, there's a lot of things we can't relate to Chris." She quickly answered him.

"I know that, but I can listen. You can open up with me for fuck's sake," Chris said frustrated and Sofia sigh. "You're always shutting me out when we even slightly touch a subject you don't like, I've known you for like almost two years and I right now found out you have a brother. You know everything about me, you know my fucking whole family,"

"Yeah, and now you're now throwing it back at my face."

"I'm not throwing it back at your face, you can tell me anything, Sofia." He said and she shook her head.

"Why do you wanna know so bad? I'm just some girl you're fucking." She asked him and Chris was taken aback.

"You're not—is that what you think of me?, that I'm so guy you're fucking?"

"Are you not?" She asked nonchalantly and Chris lost his shit.

"Woow, that's how it is?, like I'm nothing to you." He said taking a step back.

"Why the fuck are you pushing this so much? what are you gonna do? I don't want your fucking pity and I don't fucking need you either." She was spitting venom at him, feeling attacked at everything he was doing.

"You're being a fucking asshole right now," He told her and Sofia rolled her eyes. "I just wanna know my fucking girlfriend."

"I'm most definitely not your girlfriend, I won't ever be your girlfriend" She answered and Chris just stared at her, feeling hurt.

"You know what, fuck you," he muttered angrily and turned around, nervous.

"There we go, pretty Chris don't get what he wants and he lashes out," She mumbled and pointed at him. "And now you leave,"

Chris rubbed his beard and grabbed his phone. "When you want talk this shit out, let me know. I'll be staying two more days and then I'm back in LA, you know I'm leaving for three months. Because I tell you all the shit I do," He pointed out again and Sofia just shrugged.

"Whatever, you know where the door is." She didn't even look at him, Chris was fuming. Sofía flinch when she heard the door shut.

~~~

Well, shit.

Tag list:

@smediumsmeatbae

@lunaticbarnes

@firstangeldragonranch

@lovepeacefood

@thegirlwithpaperheart

[nikosomething]

HEYYYY I'm back, very late, I know! But *distressed gurgling noises*. Sorry?? As for fic recs and sangcheng, I'm going to wait until the reveal so I can DM you about it, if you would like? Yess, it's precisely sweating that makes me hate summer haha. It is, truly, yes, the time between Christmas and new year is so sweet, the liminal days as some Tumblr post put it. OMG I'M CACKLING. That was a ride!! dfgdhjshxjdjd yes it's Heaven's official blessing, or TGCF (shortened Chinese title). Yes, I have read both of mxtx's other works- TGCF and svsss. TGCF is my favorite of all three of her books!

Oh yeah, having Meng Yao realise earlier what a douche his dick of a father is would be most wonderful for him AND other characters. Much less grief, surely. I'm alright with any canon divergence with the side characters. I just don't like wwx and lwj making different choices lol. ANYTHING ELSE is super fine! Omg that sounds beautiful. I hope you had a merry Christmas, Niko! Ah we don't celebrate xmas, no! But my holidays have been delightful! Oh wow, that's such a detailed answer. (2)

I prefer tea these days. Back in college, I used to drink coffee on the regular. Now, however, I'm more interested in ginger tea these days. I make it fresh each time- grate fresh ginger, boil it in water with tea powder and some sugar on the stove. I haven't really tried fancy teas, I don't think I'm much of a teabag person. I'd need loose tea haha. I like the ritual of making it, you know? As it so happens, Niko, this bunny is allergic to apples. I start sneezing as soon as I eat even a single bite of an apple, same with pears as well. Guess what my favorite fruit is? Apples! *saddest bunny sniff* green apples more so but I can't eat them! 😔

Cooking shows are soooo good, but it's been years since I have seen a proper cooking show. All of your recs sound amazing, I might check them out next year when I have time (busy with college work, you see). Oooh what all have I watched? Mostly Netflix shows and cdramas. Cdramas first cuz those are the ones I recently watched and hence, also remember - Joy of Life, Nirvana in Fire, the romance of tiger and rose, Hikaru No Go, Go ahead, TGCF donghua. Western shows- locke and key, Euphoria, Sex Education, (ohmygod I seriously can't recall any other. Rip my memory but I watched SO MANY shows ahhhhhh), I'm currently watching Bridgerton. If I remember, I shall tell you when the reveal happens. NIKO, even I watched the pillowbook and it's prequel, and yes, I have to agree that they aren't my favourites too. They were mehhh. I only liked it cuz of Dijun (purple robes, silver hair fella)! (3)

I'm pretty sure I messed up the numbering. I hope you can figure them out AHHHHHHH I don't even know the number of this text dfgdjdhdjdhdhd

Questions now! Idk have many questions honestly haha. I'm just excited for the reveal lmao. Who amongst the MDZS characters, would be your best friend and who would be your enemy? Kiss marry kill- JC, NHS, WWX? What's your favorite and least favorite arc/subplot in MDZS/cql? Alright, that's all for now! Talk to you soon- 🐰

---------

Heyyyyy my dear bunny, I missed you!! But don't worry, life happens! I understand haha Alright, let's wait for the big reveal so you can give me all da SangCheng fic recs! I am EXCITED! Omg okay yes, TGCF, I recognise that. And SVSS, taht one too. That was one crazy ride it's true hahaha If TGCF is your fav then it's all the more reason for me to get to TGCF next! Who is your fav character in TGCF (I wanna have that in mind when I read it haha) Ohhh! Now that's interesting! Why don't you like canon divergence for WangXian? I am intrigued! And thank youuu! I had a great Xmas and great stomachache cause I just didn't stop eating hahaha I lay awake with cramps regretting everything just to do it all over again the next day oops... talk about learning from your mistakes and stuff... hahaha May I ask where you come from? Is it a personal decision that you don't celebrate, is it religiously influenced or is it because of where you live? I hope that didn't sound disrespectful, if so (if I ever sound disrespectful for that matter) please let me know. I am always willing to learn and improve! <3 Ohhh yes, fresh ginger tea is amazing! I have never tried it with sugar, though, but now I am curious. And I actually have a teashop right around the corner where I can get fancy loose tea. Tell me what you like and I'll send you something ;)

Ohhhh noooooes you are allergic to apples! Nooooo! I am so sorry, esp since you like them! I have a friend who is allergic to tomatoes but loves tomato sauce. Ahhh it always breaks my heart Oh! I watched the first episodes of Euphoria but then I didn't have access anymore and I was so sad about that. And I think I also watched Sex Ed! And Netflix recommended Bridgerton to me only yesterday. It seemed interesting! Do you like it so far? (Also Imma so gonan check out your recommendations!!) HAHAHAHA OMGGG BUNNY! YES; I ONLY WATCHED IT FOR DIJUN! I CAN'T BELIEVE IT hahahahahaha Also I was so confused when everything was different in Pillowbook. Like they took great care to build it all up in Eternal Love and then EVERYTHING. IS. DIFFERENT. Ohh but I loved the General. What's his name... the one who was by Dijun's side as his right hand man and leader of the troops during that one life. Do you know who I mean? The sweet sweet boy ahhh man I took a bazillion screenshots of him hahaha I enjoyed your numbering haha it was almost perfect hahaha

My Answers

Who yould be my best friend? Uhmmmm... I guess someone who supports me, likes my enthusiasm but also helps me remember how the world works and sprinkles in a tad of realism. Lan Xichen perhaps! And I'd also have a great time with Lan Jingyi! haha omg all the LansBut I'd enjoy the presence of most characters tbh!!Enemywise... I only dislike people who hurt others so I guess if I witnessed one of them hurting my friends they'd become my enemy? Sadly I guess it'd be Xue Yang then. Or my baby Meng Yao if I had been close with NHS and or NMJ. I mean JGS and WRH are a given so I don't really mention them.Now tell me about you! I can't wait to hear about it!!omggg why are you giving me that super hard choice!!? Uhmmm... Kiss them all, have them marry their loved ones and pls, pls let them live! xDDDDD *sneakily sneaking out of this one*As for arc/subplot please let me know your thoughts on this! I honestly can't tell, I's have to watch it all over again cause I forget way too quickly. But there were defo parts I enjoyed mor ethan others. I'll think about it!Feel hugged!!!

[punkscowardschampions]

Janis & Jimmy

Janis: Ready for 💔 💔 💔? Jimmy: didn't bring a 🎻 in but there'll probably be a 🌧 about in a bit so go on Janis: Clearly you didn't watch enough back to school hauls to adequately prepare yourself Janis: 🙄🙄 Janis: you'll never guess who found her way to the 'how to catch a man' side of youtube though Jimmy: if it's Helena I really am fucking gutted Janis: Unlikely Janis: less she starts making a big deal out of how her MASSIVE TITS are slowly crippling her Janis: 🐰 has gone full 🐰🥘🥣 Jimmy: what the fuck kind of emojis are them? Janis: it's not my fault there's not a decent pot! Janis: also pretend to be gutted or she will be Jimmy: [draws her a lil pot emoji obvs] Jimmy: Who's pretending? 😭😭😭 Jimmy: have to console thinking about Helena's MASSIVE tits Janis: 👏 dead convincing there Janis: like 💀👑 trying to talk her out of it 'cos she's FUMING Jimmy: should've asked me to do the job for her Janis: check your DMs I'm sure she has Jimmy: [sends her some of the hilarious random DMs he has been sent lately like a highlight reel] Janis: the 💦💦 is endless Janis: you're SUCH old 🗞s Jimmy: 👴💔 Janis: at least you don't have to waste a load of 💸 on tat for her in a months time Janis: which is the only reason she's decided to get in a VERY committed relationship with a 13-year-old in the year below Jimmy: Tah for the reminder to crack on with this fake break up before then Jimmy: good job our kid's young as he is or I'd have to 🔐 Janis: I'm the one doing the breaking up, remember that first Janis: seriously though Janis: doing my head in Janis: get yourself 💐🍫 if you're this arsed gals Jimmy: 💰 on loads of 'em doing that Jimmy: should probably set up that 💌 bollocks you were on about before Janis: boys handwriting would be invaluable to 'em Janis: can't stop dotting their ❓ with ❤ Jimmy: can write with both hands an' all so it won't even be knackering Janis: show-off Jimmy: 💪🏆🥇 Janis: just leave your shit chat up lines like that out Janis: dead giveaway Jimmy: piss off Jimmy: I know what I'm doing Jimmy: just gotta decide who I wanna send ones that ain't been paid for to for the #drama Jimmy: and whose name I wanna 🖋 Janis: [list of the 'loved up' couples of the moment that ain't them] Janis: stick whoever you wanna see get smacked on there Janis: easy Jimmy: this school have a postbox for it or what? Janis: yeah Janis: any excuse to be cringe Jimmy: I'll make sure yours is MASSIVE, don't worry and a top work of 🎨 OBVS Jimmy: 😘 Janis: my biggest concern, OBVS Janis: if you're still here I can do it the day of for all the 💔 points for you Jimmy: we're all 🤞 Lucas'll get on the roof 💐🍫😍 and fall off but you might have to put up with ✨ pissing out all over you when you open a card from me and nowt else Jimmy: that's your 💔 Janis: looking for broken 🦴s Janis: disappointing but not surprising Jimmy: UGH fine, I'll get on the roof Janis: bet we can Jimmy: let's go then Janis: now? Jimmy: you got owt else on? Janis: obviously not Jimmy: so come on Janis: be easiest to get up there from outside the music room Janis: do you know where that is? Jimmy: direct me Janis: [do that] Janis: wait for me if you get there first Janis: sir is insisting I can't go piss because someone else just did, as if our bladders are connected Jimmy: can't do that to lasses hasn't he heard Jimmy: tell him you're about to 💀💀💀 of toxic shock Janis: sadly raging at him over my blob gives off big angry lesbian vibes Janis: and I don't actually have a bloody tampon to throw at him Janis: I'll just leave in a sec but he's being a twat Jimmy: have to be the fake pregnancy fall back AGAIN Janis: one up Asia's news a bit Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: how long ago were the PE cupboard 💕? Janis: I haven't got a diary Jimmy: 😱😱 It weren't the best day of your life! 😱😱 Janis: best OF the day, how about that? Jimmy: bit rude of Asia to nick your phone Jimmy: I get that she don't want her big day ruined but Janis: 😏 Janis: like she's suddenly a top codebreaker Jimmy: #plottwist Janis: 🤓🤓💕 you 2 Jimmy: you 2 more like Jimmy: her being a dickhead means she likes you, DUH Jimmy: must be what the phone nicking were really about Janis: plottwist, they're all massive gays Jimmy: they're going on about sleepovers whenever I open the group chat Janis: you're that cliche? Janis: 👌 Jimmy: just saying it won't be a massive plot twist Janis: in your dreams, dickhead Jimmy: *nightmares Janis: 👻 do I hear someone protesting? Jimmy: Bill's lurking about loads when I get fuck all 😴 he knows I ain't pissing about wasting what dreams I do have Janis: Nice of him to entertain you Jimmy: you've seen my other offers Jimmy: didn't fancy none of them Janis: Fair Janis: he's got some witty bants at least Jimmy: he does alright Janis: better than the alternatives Janis: if I had a sleeping pill hookup, I'd take 'em myself Jimmy: you wanna watch out on that roof, mate, dunno how he'll feel about such a backhanded compliment Jimmy: steady on, bit rude to all the 🐑 hanging about for you to count, that Jimmy: how many #haters you want? Janis: you can pretend you pushed me if you're worried Jimmy: I 💭 that were the point of going up there Jimmy: no need to pretend owt Jimmy: we'll both be 💀💀💀 Janis: alright Janis: [show up] Jimmy: ['bit awkward if you've found a will to live' said like a saucy challenge] Janis: [just a look like does it look like I have? as much of a challenge as we try to find the way up onto the roof 'cos you know it's not that well hidden or secured] Jimmy: [a LOOK because always but we're also helping not just making intense eye contact forever lol] Janis: [remembering our sims school there was multiple levels so maybe you can get on the second story roof if not the third, anyway, letting you 'cos we can, even if you've got to do some lowkey parkour here, help each other and don't die] Jimmy: [it's a mood so we must, I hope your ribs are a bit more healed boy, don't do yourself further injury please] Janis: [rest when you're up there and we're just LOOKing at you like what now] Jimmy: [lighting up 🚬 for you both and doing heart shaped smoke rings because we're on a vday theme which you can totally show her how to do for some #content while you're up there] Janis: [can only imagine the funny face you're gonna have to pull to achieve that which thank god or it'd be too hot already] Jimmy: [all I can think about is when Liam and Edie were on the roof of that house they were staying in and he said he loved her so RIP me and them] Janis: [oh yes I remember that, soz we killed you guys] Jimmy: [anyway give her whatever doodle you've done today as well so she can have it in person cos I like to think you've not seen each other yet] Janis: [always love that, so much that we have to walk away and be peering over the edge dangerously just to diffuse that situation] Jimmy: [jimothy will probably pee over the edge just cos he can haha] Janis: [boy perks] Jimmy: [and they were talking about going for a piss and stuff like that always makes you want to] Janis: [you can't girl we're not falling off forreal, so hold it and contend with finding shit to throw onto the next roof down] Jimmy: [likewise join in with throwing stuff until there's nothing left and you can take your turn to LOOK at her like what now] Janis: [sharing that intense eye-contact for forever like] Jimmy: [we're not breaking it but we are pulling her closer to us] Janis: [writing 'morning' somewhere on his arm, whether we have to pull up his blazer or whatever to do that, we is] Jimmy: [writes 'good' on her in the same place because it is a good morning now we've seen the bae] Janis: [✔ like same] Jimmy: [teach her how to sign it because why not] Janis: ['we get it, you're good with your hands' 'cos mentioning being ambidexterous earlier and we KNOW so] Jimmy: [😏 and kiss her like excuse you I'm good at this too] Janis: [no room or energy to disagree here hen] Jimmy: [nobody's likely to appear and interrupt you up here lads so just enjoy that alone time] Janis: [we know we're gonna, even though it's January and this is scandalous because duh, how can we not] Jimmy: [you have done and will do way worse so] Janis: [should post those unfy smoking roof pics as we're getting down though so everyone knows you were up there but teachers can't actually prove that you were so] Jimmy: [if the teachers are checking your socials they'll get arrested hens] Janis: [easy mr lucas] Jimmy: [but yeah everyone will be well jel, blatantly gonna be a new thing for everyone to try and go to the roof now] Janis: [have fun getting caught losers lool] Jimmy: [not soz you'll never be JJ and living in a rom com] Janis: 😈 Jimmy: 😇🏹💕 Janis: You got the little nappy outfit ready to go, yeah? Jimmy: #kinkunlocked I get it Janis: 'course Janis: what girl wouldn't be 😍 Jimmy: 💀👑 probably prefers wearing them, THANK GOD she's not my target audience Janis: did she ever fake that she was 😍 over you? Jimmy: and have to put owt in the tip jar? Jimmy: SO funny, you Janis: cheek when she's allegedly the most minted Janis: making Asia make it rain 💦💸 Janis: mad she really don't fancy anyone who's not 50% of her though Jimmy: that'll be how she stays 💰💰💰 Janis: keep it in the family? Janis: 👍 Janis: bit extreme but Jimmy: if it were her only reason Jimmy: but she's OBVS 😍😍🤤 an' all Janis: 🤮 Jimmy: she in your lesson? Janis: Yeah Janis: and #2 Jimmy: What do you wanna do that'll do their heads in? Janis: 💡❓ Janis: all they keep talking about is Asia and her new boyfriend Janis: how do we pull focus from how un-goals that is when we're always 💯 Jimmy: could just break them up Janis: I'm not fucking a 13-year-old and I don't think it's a good look for you either Jimmy: never said we had to do owt with him but get in his head Jimmy: not like it'd be hard to convince the lad she's being a massive slag Janis: true, true Janis: she's only gone with him 'cos she knows he ain't gonna dump her because older girl clout Janis: and she wants the 🎁🎁 Janis: well rude Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻 Jimmy: the school therapist'll be after him when Asia's done if Lucas ain't Janis: honestly Janis: only the right thing to do Jimmy: [edits some of the many Mia cheating pics they have to look like it could be Asia but in a pisstakey way because we're literally in class so we can't do it properly but like in a is this worth doing way] Janis: 😂😂😂 Janis: that's nightmare fuel, for sure Janis: no wonder you ain't sleeping Jimmy: sleep paralysis demon, her Janis: terrifying, poor boy Janis: but she's got way too many pounds on 💀👑 for that to work Janis: 🤔 what if there was somewhere else he'd rather be Janis: no matter how 🔥 she reckons her 🍑 is Jimmy: not gonna get my sister with him now he's been anywhere near her Janis: Not exactly what I had in mind Janis: bit weird your head went there, tbh but still Janis: you wanna throw a party anyway, yeah Janis: why not do it then a fuck over any girl thinking she's getting a romantic date night? Jimmy: bit weird they're the same age @Asia with that one Jimmy: but DUH Janis: she's only 14, being fair Janis: sounding more and more like 💀👑 by the second Janis: obvs it goes against every dating rule she has so she's 😤 😠 😡 🤬 🤯 Jimmy: feels dead wrong to split 'em up if that's what she wants Janis: at least it'd give them something else to chat about Janis: all this 💘 is making me sick already Jimmy: has to be a way to do that any road, it's fucking ages til we can have that party if we're doing it then Janis: yeah, I guess so Janis: well keep 💭 then Jimmy: I were 💭 what's another 🎁 that ain't another desk? Jimmy: any 🥇💡s? Janis: 'cos I just do this shit all the time Janis: I don't know Jimmy: Oi, don't be getting mardy with me, I only asked Janis: well don't bother asking questions I clearly don't have the answer to Jimmy: 👌 Janis: you already do all the drawings and far more shit than any lad they go out with Janis: like the whole point Janis: I don't know how we'd up that Jimmy: I said alright Janis: now who's being moody Jimmy: you Jimmy: that'll be why I'm leaving it out Janis: piss off then Jimmy: What's up with you? Janis: nothing, what's wrong with you? Jimmy: you're being a dickhead Janis: how am I? Jimmy: what kind of question is that? Janis: let's just drop it Janis: sure whatever lesson you're in is as equally thrilling as mine Jimmy: or just tell me what's wrong Jimmy: 'cause you were alright a bit ago Janis: I'm just Janis: it don't matter Janis: it's fine Jimmy: bollocks Janis: it can be Janis: 🤫 Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: come on Janis: it's alright Janis: just everyone else getting on my nerves, as per Jimmy: alright Janis: 👍 Jimmy: 👍 Janis: what? Janis: be my mate Jimmy: I am Janis: sorry, alright Jimmy: what were it you said, it don't matter Janis: yeah but Janis: change the subject or something Jimmy: put me on the spot a bit there, dickhead Janis: 😏 Janis: but you're such a natural conversationalist Jimmy: it ain't my fault I can't stop thinking about you long enough to put a sentence together Janis: that's very smooth considering Janis: keep saying things like that, who wouldn't be jealous Jimmy: just how I feel, must not have as many dickheads in this lesson as you Jimmy: ☀ Janis: I'm not not thinking about you Janis: I just don't know what to do about that Janis: maybe less so Jimmy: What do you wanna do about it? Janis: how many lessons you reckon we can realistically walk out of? Jimmy: the rest of 'em Janis: Why are we even staying? Jimmy: we're not Janis: That is the best idea you've ever had Jimmy: I dunno, I reckoned the roof were a decent shout Jimmy: but I get it, soz it took me fucking ages Janis: You didn't get how I felt about the roof? Jimmy: 🤏 Jimmy: might've had some idea Janis: I can show you again but you know Janis: little rude Jimmy: 😏 Janis: Crap with words but there's loads else I can do Jimmy: I were gonna say I heard what I needed to up there but Jimmy: there's loads else I want to Janis: Don't be #overit yet Jimmy: sounds fake, that Jimmy: you just want me to 🗨 how not over it I am Janis: so? Jimmy: I already did do Janis: then I must've really meant it Jimmy: you've got nowt to worry about Janis: good Jimmy: Where we going? Janis: We can go to mine if you don't wanna go to yours Janis: or do you wanna go DO something Jimmy: be #goals whatever happens Jimmy: what do you wanna do? Janis: I'm not thinking about #goals even though that's true Janis: I am thinking about how many times I could make you cum on that fucking bus ride Janis: come to mine, no one will be there, so there's loads of things we can do Jimmy: I just meant that bit don't matter but if I were thinking it did before I don't now Jimmy: and you've already sold me on the fucking bus ride so owt else is a bonus Janis: 😁 seems like a bit of a pisstake but Jimmy: it won't be Jimmy: except for the 👵🚍👀 Janis: They go to town at the crack of dawn Janis: shouldn't be loads Janis: but I can make you forget about that as well Jimmy: I don't care if there is loads Jimmy: I told you, I can't stop thinking about you Janis: It's distracting Janis: you are Janis: but fuck this place anyway Jimmy: *you are Janis: you started it Janis: and I'm not sorry Jimmy: I'm not sorry I started it Janis: Good Janis: it's Janis: working for me Jimmy: you'll forget about whatever's doing your head in in a bit Janis: already have Jimmy: come here then Janis: only if you ask again Jimmy: please Janis: 😍 Janis: okay Janis: [run babies run] Jimmy: [I know you only just went back from the hols but fuck school tbh] Janis: [we aren't that bothered ever but truly, you're both smart enough to pass just fine, we got life to be living and love to be falling into] Jimmy: [got a really long bus ride to be extra through soz not soz it's a whole vibe] Janis: [we're about it, and we can show you the actual decent stuff about the cali residence 'cos it's not the place we dislike it's the people rn soz guys] Jimmy: [we all know it's a cool af house even if there are a 10000000000000 cats] Janis: [lmao, at least they gonna be less fussy than Twix so you'll be alright lads] Jimmy: [have a lovely time but probably avoid your room gal since we're not drunk af like we were on christmas eve] Janis: [we know there's nothing there to show it's fine, y'all can chill wherever you want] Jimmy: [love it for you, honestly surprised you ever bother going to school rn tbh] Janis: [only 'cos we clearly can't hang around mcvickers 'cos they're both old enough to be retired even if they're only semi-retired, and you have to take Bobby to school so like, may as well not like you can get extra shifts when they know you're 15 and not out of school] Jimmy: [and it's an easy way to be #goals as they've already proved with the desk escapades] Janis: [mhmm, and an excuse to see each other you so don't need now but you know] Jimmy: [the tea] Janis: [do we wanna do anything when they are at the gaff etc?} Jimmy: [probably nothing too heavy but if you've got anything you want to happen we can] Janis: [lbr, we know we're being cute af and saucy] Jimmy: [I'm devastated that you can't stay forever as will you be, but at least you'll have a fair while even with the long af bus which is only gonna be fun on the way there unless you're leaving together too] Janis: [you should probably stay gal as the school will call to say you went missing and you'd be better to deal with that rather than have her think you've run away again lol] Janis: 👋 Jimmy: [Gonna be fun going home to Ian, I hope for your sake boy you've got work for a bit first for that reprieve even though it'll probably make him angrier cos you're gone longer] Jimmy: 🥺👋 Janis: [mhmm, like get over it Ian it's one day but ANYWAY] Janis: I wish I could've come Jimmy: and I wish I could've hung about a bit longer Janis: fucking real life, eh Jimmy: nowt'll be more 💔 than if the ☕ start cracking on making themselves and I have to look out for a new way to earn 💰 Jimmy: but I get that you wanna be my fantasy, girl so I won't call it a bit rude that you're 🗨 all that just then were fake Janis: Never happen Janis: they like the fake smile on your face when you give it 'em Janis: not fake Janis: just not 💩 like the rest Jimmy: I'll take all them assurances, tah for not getting too near a compliment Jimmy: thought it were gonna be a bit touch and go at the end there Janis: not to mention the carnage if it was self-service Janis: only afford the steam burns if they're paying you minimum wage Janis: 😘 Janis: shut up Jimmy: not just any dickhead can pull off that many scars Jimmy: 😎🚬 Janis: 😏 Janis: I get it, you want MORE compliments Janis: not like I just spent all day showing you how hot I think you are Jimmy: or more worthwhile wounds Jimmy: unless you're gonna kick off about there being no more time or space for them an' all Janis: Oi Janis: don't make me sound like that bitch Janis: cheek Janis: 🔪 you any time you like, you know that Jimmy: 😏 Jimmy: can never have it in writing too many times Janis: you trying to get me done for not keeping my word? Jimmy: 👮🚔 Jimmy: don't bother going back on it and you'll be alright Janis: should've known Janis: you're all the same Jimmy: can't 🗨 you didn't know what you were getting into, Jennifer Jimmy: 🐷💕 Janis: my dads rolling in his grave Jimmy: still 🤞 you and your fake tan'll put mine in his Janis: I'll put on my nan's accent Janis: turn it up a notch Jimmy: 😂 Janis: or just intro them Janis: he'd feel so #attacked Jimmy: only if you can promise me she'll chuck a bible at him Janis: 🤞 Janis: can't promise much about her but it's 99% Jimmy: it's a date then 🍷🍞 Janis: 😂 Janis: enjoy Jimmy: be PROPER awks if we've misread this and she ends up my new mum Janis: She's still got delusions about being the pastor's wife Janis: she's too nosy to settle down and have her own life anyway, you're fine Jimmy: poor bloke Janis: your dad or father daddy? Jimmy: not chucking any sympathy Ian's way Jimmy: he's always got the full orchestra playing for himself, there's no need Janis: got ya Janis: I'll make it up to him whenever I get 'round the repenting Jimmy: me an' all Jimmy: bit of time with me on my knees'll sort him right out Janis: fuck off Janis: we're not sharing Jimmy: Why not? Janis: 'cos I want him Janis: get your own boyfriend, bitch Jimmy: thank GOD Pete'll be in Janis: 😒 Janis: shot myself in the foot there Jimmy: made your 🛏 have to lie in it with the hot priest, you Janis: 😣 😖 😫 Janis: don't be mean Janis: it was an involuntary reaction Janis: being a twin means you don't want to share anything Jimmy: you're alright, I'm more forgiving than him and his mate in the ☁s Jimmy: might let you be my mate again eventually Janis: aaaaand share your boyfriend, yeah? Janis: thanks 💖 Jimmy: be up to him, that Jimmy: but agreeing to having a go at being his lead 🎤's bound to make up his mind Jimmy: the lad he got last time you said no is shite Janis: Oh God Janis: do they play the CG? Janis: 😬 Jimmy: that gonna make you rush in or steer clear? Janis: I'm not sure I can fake the enthusiasm Janis: and yes, that IS saying something, thank you Janis: tell him to 📞 me if they ever start getting paid Jimmy: @ him yourself Jimmy: loads of jobs but none of 'em are as your messenger boy Jimmy: ain't chucked 🗞️🗞️🗞️ about for ages Janis: you're such a slag Janis: called playing it cool Janis: look it up 🤓 Jimmy: look up frigid Jimmy: 🥶🥶🧊 Janis: piss off Jimmy: didn't reckon on that rumour being the one that were true but here we are Janis: don't be a twat Janis: you literally know it isn't Jimmy: still feel free to remind me whenever you like Janis: yeah, really convincing that Jimmy: What, you need MORE convincing than earlier on? Janis: oh, now you're calling me a slag Janis: make up your mind and shut up, yeah? Jimmy: 🤐 Janis: 👍 Jimmy: you planning to leave me with my 💭 this whole 🚍 ride? Janis: I should Janis: but it is longer than the journey to hell so Jimmy: you have left me loads to think about, give you that Jimmy: 🏆🥇 Janis: it's mutual Janis: is an understatement Jimmy: yeah, I felt that Janis: bit rude Janis: every time I think seeing you is gonna get you out of my head Janis: never does though Jimmy: bit rude that you want me out when you've said you've not got owt else on Janis: yeah but I can't be around you all the time so it's just inconvenient Jimmy: I'm not stopping you and my 👻 manager'd have a job to Jimmy: and we've already proved school can't Janis: If you're still there when I've dealt with my ma Janis: could Jimmy: if not you know where else I'll be Janis: yeah Janis: I do have work to do and all though Jimmy: OBVS Jimmy: 🐕's can't 🏃 themselves without the owners getting right mardy Janis: Thank God Janis: can't be arsed to sing for my supper yet Jimmy: after though Jimmy: you can do us a lullaby Janis: you just want me to sleep over Jimmy: Oi, don't make me sound like them huns Janis: 💅💄🍿☕️🧸💖 Janis: you Jimmy: Piss off Jimmy: will you hang about if I let you chuck 🧸s about and smack me with a pillow or what? Janis: your nightmare not mine Janis: but as you asked nicely Jimmy: 👍 Janis: What song do you want? Janis: 🎶😴 Jimmy: what song do you wanna do? Janis: [list off some hilariously inappropriate lullabies] Jimmy: number 6 Janis: 😏 Janis: thank god the little ones deaf Janis: hate to be a bad influence Jimmy: 🖍👂 were bad enough Janis: mini 💘story is worse Jimmy: but that's nowt to do with us Janis: 'course not Janis: so pure and real Jimmy: be worse if they hated each other like him and Amsterdam, never be able to chuck him anywhere Janis: yeah Janis: and she's annoying whatever she's 🗨 about so makes no odds to me Jimmy: we better start being the NICEST ever to your nan so he can sleep there and not piss on our party plans Janis: that'll involve you not being as nice as you wanna, perv Janis: tone it down Jimmy: tone down your jealousy, Jules, I'll come to your window an' all Janis: She don't fancy you, sorry to break it to you Jimmy: she's not gonna admit it to you, dickhead Janis: She's not gonna be able to fake that with a remotely straight face, more like Jimmy: must be where you get it from Janis: better than you Jimmy: bollocks Janis: nah Jimmy: yeah Janis: no Jimmy: based on what? Janis: erm, all my performances vs yours, OBVS Jimmy: mine's been as good as yours Janis: hmm Janis: 😂 Jimmy: you're just being a twat 'cause your fit nan 💕s me Janis: and you're just mad 'cos Will wouldn't even cast you as a background character Jimmy: he has done so that's even more bollocks you're chatting now Jimmy: should be chuffed she's not going blind, babe Janis: bit awkward to boot you now Janis: massive head, takes a lot to shift Jimmy: far as excuses go, a TOP athlete like you should have better Jimmy: 🥉 if that Janis: let me start auditions first, arsehole Jimmy: 👌 Janis: 👌 Jimmy: 👍 Janis: stop it Janis: you're the one being a twat, twat Jimmy: how am I? Janis: Where do I start? Janis: I'd rather just not, as I just said Jimmy: at buying some time before you have a proper go 'cause you know I've done nowt wrong, by the sounds of it Jimmy: but alright Janis: I didn't say you'd done anything wrong Janis: just that you were being annoying on purpose Jimmy: Why would I bother with that? Janis: You tell me Jimmy: the answer is I obvs wouldn't Janis: OBVS Janis: 👍 Jimmy: you stop it Janis: I'm not doing anything Janis: so yeah, alright Jimmy: exactly Jimmy: I'd be in the group chat if I were trying to 🗨 in 👍👌🙄 Janis: not my job to entertain you is it Jimmy: I never said it were Jimmy: if you were on the clock it wouldn't be like pulling 🦷🦷 trying to have a word Janis: oh, whatever Janis: I don't like talking, that's not news and it's none of your business Jimmy: and you've heard I like talking to you when you're not being a MASSIVE dickhead Jimmy: give me a clue when that'll be Janis: I've got other shit on Jimmy: and I've not? Janis: I never said you didn't Janis: that was you Jimmy: I'm just not using it as a bollocks excuse to be a twat Janis: I'm not excusing anything, I'm saying you don't know what I do or don't have on, at any point Jimmy: 'cause it's none of my business, you just said Janis: basically, yeah Jimmy: whatever, as you said an' all Jimmy: in a bit Janis: later then Jimmy: yeah Janis: [you're gonna have to leave this some time and I'm gonna have to fix it, well done gal, not leaving it too long though 'cos not that deep so just deal with it, you could still be on the bus tbh lmao] Jimmy: [seeds are being sown and honestly yeah it is a really long bus ride I hope you left yourself enough time boy or you'll be late for work] Janis: sorry, okay Janis: just ignore me, I'm just stressed Janis: you've not done anything Jimmy: I got that Jimmy: how stressed you are Janis: yeah, I know Janis: you don't need that ever Janis: let alone before work Jimmy: @iantaylor8 before I get back, might stop him getting a mard on an' all Janis: He's gonna be raging? Jimmy: when's he not? Jimmy: he'll be chuffed to bits I gave him something to have a go about Jimmy: you talk to your mum yet? Janis: Any excuse Janis: not like we had anything important on today Janis: or ever, really but you know Janis: she won't be back for a bit Janis: just avoiding my sisters in the meantime Jimmy: how many 🐕s you done? Janis: got six here that all walk together alright, get that in before she's back Jimmy: 💰 on my sister not having done ours, you can use that as a reason to piss off when you need Janis: If she ain't seething, might drop me off Janis: save the dog's bladder bursting whilst the bus goes round every fucking street on the way Jimmy: didn't go back at lunch, might already be 💀💀💀 Janis: shit Janis: what time is your dad back? Jimmy: probably will be,  have to check the 👞👟🥾 Jimmy: house'll be trashed if nowt else Jimmy: meant to be 🕠 but it never is Janis: I can leave a note at mine Janis: be there well before he is Janis: only took a day off, say I got that period or whatever Jimmy: not your problem, no need to cause any with your mum for the 🐕's sake Janis: it's not a problem Janis: just replying that I hadn't run away earlier when the school messaged her was more than enough Jimmy: alright Janis: won't charge extra for mopping up piss Janis: didn't think, when I said we should go to mine Jimmy: you don't have to Jimmy: mop up piss or 💭🐕💔 Janis: you can't, you're already doing a job so Jimmy: he can get the mop out, it were his 🥇💡 to get a dog Janis: may as well though Jimmy: IOU then Janis: nah Janis: 'cos IOU Jimmy: Oi, don't be turning me down Jimmy: any time you fancy having a piss on my floor, I'll sort it Janis: 😂 Janis: thanks Janis: big #kinkunlocked obviously Jimmy: I know, that'll be why I'm allowing it Janis: Well considerate of you Jimmy: sound more shocked, Joanne Janis: I ain't Jimmy: good Janis: you know I didn't mean it Jimmy: What bit? Janis: not wanting to talk to you Jimmy: I got that when you started talking to me again Janis: yeah, alright Janis: just saying Jimmy: what's gonna make you 😁? Janis: Is that what you want? Jimmy: what kind of question is that? Jimmy: not like I've spent ages today trying to do it or owt Janis: I can not be a moody bitch without being 😁 though, honest Jimmy: and I can make you 😁 Jimmy: challenge accepted Janis: you have Janis: loads Jimmy: it don't matter if your face ain't stuck like it Jimmy: I'll have another go Janis: what about you? Jimmy: What about me? Janis: What emoji do you want me to make you? Jimmy: your fav obvs Jimmy: 🤗 Janis: 😏 Janis: I'll do my best Jimmy: I get it, you know Jimmy: what you said before about the rest being 💩 Janis: it just really shows how shit everything else and everyone is Janis: how boring and just Janis: bit of a headfuck Jimmy: yeah and I get it an' all that you have shit you have to do but Jimmy: I meant what I said about you not having to go nowhere Jimmy: my 🏠'll be trashed and the 🐕's a dickhead but you can still hang around whenever you want Janis: I don't though Janis: not in comparison to you, that's just the truth Janis: it just makes me sound pathetic when you put it like that Janis: but thanks Jimmy: shut up, you've got a job same as me Janis: you know what I mean Jimmy: I know I ain't gonna hold it over your head that your mum ain't chucking 👶s at you to look after or being a massive bellend all the time Jimmy: what kind of weird 🎻💔😭 bollocks 🏆s is that? Janis: well I knew you'd hate it that's why I didn't say it earlier Janis: I'm just not trying to take the piss with stupid non-problems Jimmy: everyone's got shit, not just me Janis: yeah Janis: and I've got plenty Janis: being stressed about skiving school ain't one of 'em though, it weren't that Jimmy: I never thought it were Janis: I've got a handle on it now though Jimmy: alright Jimmy: made that 😁 challenge even more piss easy for me then Janis: You mad about that or Janis: I can make it harder again easy Jimmy: go on, I ain't 🙀🙀 Jimmy: 💪🏆🥇 me Janis: 😶 there you go Janis: complete blank slate Jimmy: Tah Janis: Yeah well, all the pressure Jimmy: that meant to be a ✔ or ❌? Janis: it means I'm doing what you asked and giving you an actual challenge Jimmy: that consideration's catching Janis: great Janis: need a cream for that, do I Jimmy: might do if it starts irritating you, like Jimmy: 🤞 it don't react with your fake tan Janis: is red more or less offensive than beige? 🤔 Jimmy: less Jimmy: colour of 🩸🌹💘 Bill's fav, that Janis: we already know he 💘s me Janis: about making your dad 😡🤬 not me Jimmy: already did do Jimmy: nowt challenging about making Ian fuming Janis: yeah but that's what you want me to do and keep doing Jimmy: it's not why I want you to stay Janis: it'd be a bit rude if that was all you wanted me for Jimmy: I just mean he's not the reason I do owt Jimmy: doing his head in gives my sister something to do with her 😡🤬 but he don't matter to me Janis: yeah, it isn't about him Janis: but getting him fuming enough you can all go home is, I mean Jimmy: which ain't even been working Jimmy: as plans go it were never 🥇 Janis: what letter plan was it? Jimmy: you know I can't count, mate Jimmy: dunno my letters either Janis: we don't have to talk about it though Janis: not right now Jimmy: We're here so whatever goes I had at getting him to not take the job or owt I did to try and stop us from leaving didn't work Jimmy: what's to talk about? Janis: you're giving up? Jimmy: never said that Janis: alright Janis: I get it Jimmy: do you? Janis: you either haven't thought out your next step, or I can't help you with it and it isn't my business Janis: either way, don't wanna or have to talk about it now Jimmy: 👌 Janis: not a total idiot, cheers Jimmy: never said that either Jimmy: feeling like one 'cause you had a massive strop is nowt to do with me Janis: fuck off Janis: 1. I didn't 2. Weren't talking about that no more Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: what are you rolling your eyes at me for Jimmy: what you mean you don't get that? Jimmy: don't sound like you Janis: wow Janis: nice Jimmy: just leave it out Janis: whatever Jimmy: 👍 Janis: I'm not staying, pay me whatever you would your sister for the dog Jimmy: I don't pay her Jimmy: @ my dad for his rates Janis: obviously not Jimmy: don't come then, even easier, that Janis: It's nothing to do with you Janis: the dog needs walking Jimmy: not by you Janis: why not Jimmy: why are you SO bothered? Janis: because it's needless and cruel Janis: it isn't hard Janis: and it's literally what I do so just shut up Jimmy: it ain't hard for my sister to do it Janis: is she going to or are you fobbing me off Jimmy: not a 🧠📖 Janis: for fuck's sake Janis: I don't need your permission, I'm going round anyway Jimmy: you don't get nowt so don't act like you do Janis: fine, take your 🎻💔😭🏆 and shove it Jimmy: ✔ Janis: so glad you're happy Jimmy: so glad you ain't lost your sense of humour Janis: the gags that I never had one, so where's yours Jimmy: Dunno, maybe you'll find it when you're pissing about at mine Jimmy: places the spare 🔑 has to get left are getting weirder and weirder Janis: I'm just knocking Janis: you might be arsed but doubt your sisters stopping me doing a job for her Jimmy: be about right Janis: be weird id she cared Janis: if* Jimmy: no weirder than you reckoning she'll bother to answer the door Janis: You're being ridiculous Jimmy: that's you Janis: no, it ain't Jimmy: yeah it is, this 🐕💔 being the hill you wanna 💀💀💀 on Janis: I told you why Janis: not rocket science Jimmy: and I told you why not to, neither's that Janis: I didn't say it was your fault but it's not fair on the dog and you know that Janis: I'm not gonna pretend I don't 'cos you're pissed off with me Jimmy: 📞 the rspca then, be doing me a bigger favour than this bollocks is Janis: if you wanted to, you would've done it yourself Janis: the kid 💕 it and that's why Jimmy: funny way of showing it she's got Jimmy: can't even do something she gets 💰 chucked at her for Janis: yeah and that hardly takes a genius to work out either Jimmy: no need for you to get your head round what's up with her an' all Janis: stop acting like I'm fucking therapizing you Jimmy: stop doing it Janis: fuck this Jimmy: yeah Janis: [you better walk away gal but we're clearly going to attempt to walk Twix still] Jimmy: [at least he's not there so you won't brawl] Janis: [oh the drama mick] Jimmy: [oh boy, it's not her fault you don't wanna leave dublin anymore, well it is but don't be rude] Janis: [quite literally your fault but that's a convo we're not ready to have yet clearly lol] Jimmy: [a convo we've literally had twice drunk lol lol] Janis: [oh lads, we're literally in such a tiz, thank god you didn't stay home tbh] Jimmy: [don't need to have a blazing row with your poor mother] Janis: [make this Thing an actual Thing™ though that is lowkey the deal in the fam being suspish of you boy but still] Jimmy: [literally don't know how I'm gonna fix this because he thinks he's in the right here, sir your pants] Janis: [like he's not not but we didn't really get what he was saying 'cos neither of you was saying enough/the right things lol] Jimmy: [she's not a mind reader either jimothy] Janis: [fair, we're probably going to go out and get drunk somewhere so I could always come @ you] Jimmy: [good idea because that's not a luxury he has until work is over at least and even then not really because Ian will be throwing his toys out of the pram] Janis: [yeah, like he's really not gonna be in the mood is he but we'll do it anyway, good luck lmao] Jimmy: [how much later are we saying it is like is he at work or has it been ages?] Janis: [well it's fully a monday so like what kind of party would be happening, so it's probably on the earlier side like we're just 'hanging' somewhere and drinking, but by the time we come for you you can probably be leaving work/home like] Jimmy: [makes sense] Janis: are you okay? Janis: what did he do? Janis: can't stop thinking about it Jimmy: I'm not back yet, nowt to worry about Janis: oh Janis: it's not that late Janis: still so dark 🌨⛄ Jimmy: you alright? Janis: yeah Janis: but no too Jimmy: ? Janis: I don't like it when we don't talk Janis: but I'm not dying in a ditch, that's what I mean Jimmy: but where are you? Janis: at the park with some people Janis: not the park, a park though Jimmy: what park? Jimmy: it's freezing Janis: I don't know, the one on [some estate he's not going to know gal but anyway, a let's get drunk in parks energy] Janis: it's not that cold, had my coat on anyway Jimmy: SO helpful, you Jimmy: it's not that cold now you're pissed, my dear Janis: That is half the point Janis: idk what you expect me to tell you, it's not like the park has a name, just a bit of grass and some swings Jimmy: I've got a map up 🤞 I get there before you 🥶🥶🥶 Janis: you're coming to see me? Janis: but you're angry at me Jimmy: I'm bringing you ☕ to warm and sober you up a bit, then I'm taking you to your nans Janis: I don't want to Jimmy: you wanna go home? Janis: god no Jimmy: you can't stay there Janis: not all night Janis: but it isn't even late Jimmy: not the point, dickhead Jimmy: I've got enough to worry about without adding you to the list Janis: don't worry about me Janis: I'm just trying to have fun Janis: I'm worried about you Jimmy: bit late for that Janis: 😠 Jimmy: don't you start, girl, I've hung up my apron now Jimmy: already on my way Janis: you can't try to seduce me to change the subject Janis: not that drunk Jimmy: weren't the plan Janis: why you talking like that then Jimmy: what? Janis: like Mias there and you want her to fancy you too Jimmy: I dunno what you're on about Janis: daddy 👏 energy 👏 Janis: anyway, literally said you wouldn't distract from the point so sh Jimmy: you Janis: but Jimmy: 🤫 Janis: sorry for caring Jimmy: it weren't what you signed up for Janis: not what you signed me up for, you mean Jimmy: go on, make it sound more like I forced you into something Janis: that's like Janis: the opposite of what I'm saying Jimmy: alright Janis: you keep turning things 'round and it's not what I mean Jimmy: just say what you mean Janis: I am Janis: I'm trying Janis: I just don't want you to get really hurt again but I can't do anything about it Jimmy: there's nowt I can do about it either Jimmy: how do you think I feel? Janis: I can't imagine Jimmy: don't Jimmy: 💭❌ Janis: I were never saying I knew what that was like Janis: I wouldn't Jimmy: not something I want us to have in common Janis: 'course not Jimmy: there you go then, can't have a go at you for not having a clue Janis: you can Janis: or you could just tell me what you do want me to do Janis: or say Janis: or not say or do Jimmy: that'd be taking the daddy energy a bit far, babe Janis: alright, not any other time, tah Janis: just let me fix this Janis: and not fuck it up again Jimmy: you heard Jimmy: there's nowt either of us can do Janis: okay Janis: I know that Janis: but how do I not annoy you about it Janis: because I don't think I can just fake that I don't know Jimmy: I don't have an answer I can just chuck at you Janis: okay then Jimmy: if I did I'd have loads of mates and a real girlfriend, duh Jimmy: that charming and social, me Janis: I'm glad you don't have a girlfriend though Jimmy: me and Bill's 👻 an' all Janis: I've got no friends either Jimmy: Oi, what am I? Janis: I don't know Janis: what are you Jimmy: 💔 RUDE Jimmy: I'm your best mate Janis: my best mate Janis: who I think about every time I cum, alright Jimmy: why isn't it? Janis: just confusing Janis: it can be both Janis: probably Jimmy: don't have to be if we just 🗨 Jimmy: it's been alright up til now Janis: very rude if that's your review Jimmy: shut up, you know what I mean Janis: do you want me to 🗨 or 🤫 Janis: just confused now 😏 Jimmy: I've missed you but if you wanna change my mind about it Janis: no, no Janis: I can behave Jimmy: making promises you can't keep Janis: cheek Jimmy: we'll see when I get there Janis: I missed you too Janis: I don't know what's wrong with me Jimmy: other than being a massive pisshead, you mean Janis: psh Janis: what else am I meant to do Jimmy: you want a list or what? Janis: yes, go on Jimmy: 1. 🗨 to me 2. come 👋 to me and my 👻 manager 3. workshop a 💀💀💀 scene with Bill 4. 🐕🏃 5. @ Lucas or 💀👑's dad for a lift Jimmy: just off the top of my head Janis: 1. we weren't 🗨 2. so I couldn't 👋 even if your manager actually existed 3. he's your mate 4. you definitely didn't want me to do that earlier either 5. just admit you want me 💀💀💀 now like Jimmy: 1. gotta start somewhere, Jessica 2. he were actually about, believe it or not! 3. he is with THAT attitude 4. I definitely don't want you spending all my 💰 either 5. I ALWAYS want to 💀💀💀 you, I've admitted that before Janis: 1. what's this? 2. so sad I missed him/my chance to seduce him for a job then 3. #ladsladslads with him forever 4. only said that 'cos you made me mad and I said for like a five not ALL your 💰 not that stereotype 5. then why are you letting either of them do it instead? Jimmy: 1. but before or instead of getting off your head were the point 2. 💔 for you and him both 3. speaking of, how many lads off that estate am I gonna have to smack before we can leave? 4. you still fuming at me or what? 5. never said I'd let it happen, just that it could do Janis: I'm not still mad at you Janis: it was a solid 60% my fault anyway Janis: I don't even know what we were talking about or then why we weren't, really Jimmy: then how do you know owt were your fault? Janis: 'cos you've explained since Jimmy: I were being a dickhead, it's not you Janis: no, it's alright Janis: you weren't Jimmy: I were and it's not alright Jimmy: you're the only bit that's not shit and taking the rest out on you ain't gonna change them, it'll only fuck this up an' all Janis: I'm not looking to make any of it harder Janis: that's not what a mate should do Jimmy: and I made it loads easier for you a bit ago when I already knew you weren't 😁 Janis: that's really nothing though Janis: stupid high school level shit Jimmy: meant to be cheering you up, that's what I said I'd do Jimmy: not nowt that I did the opposite Janis: okay, but I wasn't helping you none neither Janis: so we can be even Jimmy: 🤝 Janis: 🤝 Janis: am I going to need to come find you? Jimmy: what kind of question is that? Janis: um, a really valid one from experience Jimmy: Oi Jimmy: I'm not the one who's pissed, tah very much Janis: you exaggerate Jimmy: you take the piss Jimmy: I'm not lost Janis: okay, okay Janis: it'd be rude not to check Janis: you could die Janis: or 🥶🥶🥶 Jimmy: too northern for that bollocks Jimmy: what kind of truce is this? Janis: 🤐 Jimmy: have a swing, I'll be there in a bit Janis: someone's hoyed 'em over Janis: so rude Jimmy: fuck's sake Jimmy: never did answer me on how many lads I'd have to 🥊 Janis: Not sure if it was one of them Janis: I'll ask for you Jimmy: 💰 on it being you when you were FUMING Jimmy: trying to blame these poor lads now Janis: 😱 Janis: I WOULD NEVER Janis: pain to get back down, even if your da is like, freakishly tall or something Jimmy: never admit it now I've caught you out, more like Jimmy: know what you're like Jimmy: trying to show off and make the most of your 🦒 perks Janis: yeah, all these lads are SO cool Jimmy: never said it were for them Jimmy: might've been waiting to impress me Janis: well are you impressed? Jimmy: haven't seen the state of nowt yet Janis: you're an idiot Jimmy: yeah 🤏 Janis: I like it Jimmy: then I'll live Janis: Jimmy Jimmy: ? Janis: Would it make it better or worse if I come back to yours Jimmy: better this time, worse the next Janis: What would you rather I do? Jimmy: you know the answer to that Janis: but are you sure Jimmy: are you? Janis: I'll be fine going to my nans, for me Janis: I don't know what's better for you Janis: yeah, I can delay it now, or let it be less tonight than it COULD be Janis: but neither of those feels good Janis: so I just wanna do what you want Jimmy: so stay Janis: okay Jimmy: okay Janis: we could get rid of him the old-fashioned way Jimmy: stop flirting with me Jimmy: I'll get lost Janis: seriously Janis: how hard can it be Jimmy: piss easy if you don't care about the bit where you get caught Jimmy: how you gonna walk my 🐕 from prison? Janis: well that's why we do it properly Janis: just need to do the groundwork Janis: keep slyly telling any nosy neighbours you're moving back soon because he's lost his job, so they don't @ him Janis: then backdate a resignation letter to send to his work Jimmy: then what? Jimmy: can't actually piss off back up north without the dickhead Janis: well, you could, ferry is well cheap Janis: what you'd do when you get there is another issue Jimmy: keep dreaming, baby Jimmy: it's never gonna happen Jimmy: you're stuck with me for a bit Janis: I don't want you to leave anyway Janis: not my dream Jimmy: what'd you bring it up for then? Janis: you could stay and we could kill him Jimmy: we'd be prime suspects Jimmy: and they'd take the 👶👶🐕 off me Janis: nah, 'cos if we sort work and your neighbours and move you in with me who's looking Janis: 💡 Janis: see Jimmy: your whole family'd be 👀🍿 Jimmy: and your 🐕 best mate'd be eaten by 🐈🐈🐈 Janis: hardly Janis: 2 of my sisters got married before they were 20 and one of 'em is dead Janis: can't say nothing Janis: don't fight how much sense it makes tah Jimmy: you're so Janis: fucked up? Jimmy: not what I were gonna say Janis: they are Janis: try and distance myself from it but Jimmy: if we were judging each other by our family I'd come off loads worse Jimmy: no tah Janis: no need to have the competition Jimmy: 'cause you're losing Janis: nah Jimmy: yeah Jimmy: 🏆 goes to me Janis: nope no no no nah Janis: you have no idea and you don't need it Jimmy: alright, stop going on about it and 🗨 something you want me to know Janis: 😳 Jimmy: go on Janis: bit on the spot, like you say Jimmy: but you're 💭 about something or you wouldn't be 😳 Janis: too bad you're not a 🧠📖 Jimmy: just have to read your body language instead Jimmy: [show up sir] Janis: ['scuse us random park people, biggest run and hug ever] Jimmy: [holding onto her for the longest time and we're not sorry] Janis: [lowkey like don't cry gal, so overwhelmed and drunk dangerous combo here] Jimmy: [gal we know all about trying not to cry Imma get you out of here asap] Janis: [not letting you say anything intelligible yet] Jimmy: [it's fine we're totally picking her up so we can leave] Janis: [soz not soz to the lads who clearly thought you were about to get off with them or something] Jimmy: [bye bye boys have fun] Janis: [hope you're near enough to his lads 'I'm really sorry'] Jimmy: ['it's alright' cos it is and snuggling her as we carry her like] Janis: [sighs 'it's not' but we mean everything else so we're snuggling him back even harder Jimmy: [kissing the top of her head like yeah it is] Janis: ['you're the loveliest, that's what I want you to know'] Jimmy: [clearly 😳 about this because not what we expected her to say but we're also doing a little genuine smile so] Janis: [just softly stroking his cheeks though you probably can't even see in this light/state we just know, about to blurt something about but just about catching ourselves 'tell me something then'] Jimmy: ['are you gonna remember it?' cos we gonna catch ourselves too before being too extra] Janis: ['yes!' indignantly like how dare you, nudging him like go on 'I'll tell you another if you do'] Jimmy: ['alright, one thing I want you to know is how much this means' keeping it deliberately vague as if we're just talking about the Ian situation because we clearly aren't lol 'to me that you-that you're-' still not finishing our sentences though soz about it] Janis: [squeezing him wherever you're holding onto him, but gently please let's not fall and die here although 'I love you' not leaving like a sec here 'like I care about you, you know' and how rushed that last bit is like and I oop] Jimmy: [we've straight up died so whatever we say back is too muffled to understand because we're hardcore hiding in the bae and also using our softest voice ever] Janis: [casual panic happening in silence here but we move, meant it and can't take it back so at least you're drunk enough that you can't really try to run away rn] Jimmy: [lifting our head when she moves because we think she's gonna try and run away and that's a hard no from us 'always gotta one up me, you' but we're still using our soft voice so you know it's not a pisstake 'not gonna win the awards against you but I care about you an' all'] Janis: [shrugs like yes, that's what it was, of course 'just that good'] Jimmy: ['I know' giving her 😍 as we say it because we mean it] Janis: [going in for a makeout moment] Jimmy: [allowing it because he also meant it when he said he missed her and the feels are too high not to even though she's drunk and he's obvs not] Janis: [it's fine, we know we're being extra with it because we are drunk so it's not like you've got it wrong boy] Jimmy: [we're being extra too cos we're in our emotions and I don't trust you to speak rn sir, always makes me laugh like how far have we even gotten away from this park] Janis: [seriously, like you already said it girl you better stop lmao, I hope far enough that we're not giving a free show, also you're nearly at his but probably not knowing y'all] Jimmy: [hope you're at least off this estate so we're not getting whistled and shouted at by chavs cos that'll really ruin the moment] Janis: [like get that you're both in this moment but there's only so much you can ignore really] Jimmy: [I'll make it rain or snow if I have to lads so that'll move along, don't test me] Janis: [least you're gonna have some urgency by how hard we're going rn 'cos no shame] Jimmy: [an incentive to get home is very much needed cos Ian will be a delight] Janis: [I'm like gal do not speak that could be disastrous] Jimmy: [going upstairs immediately for all the reasons] Janis: [can't come for Ian and his life, it'd be amusing but make everything worse so not rn, in that bed tah] Jimmy: [we'll give you other opportunities gal but this is not the one] Janis: [not when you're drunk, not gonna be witty, just like fuck you bitch] Jimmy: [it's gonna be ages before you get back anyway cos we know y'all will keep stopping, never any chill] Janis: [we all know it, there is no chill now or ever] Jimmy: [hence I am making you walk, not letting you anywhere near a bus or anything rn] Janis: [do we wanna skip to being at his or to the AM or quoiiiii] Jimmy: [good question, we can probably skip to later at his because you can't avoid Ian forever, even if we're kind and say he's not around when they first get there] Janis: [what's your vibe like is he gonna come in and make Jimmy come out to talk or ambush him like what's the tea sis] Jimmy: [I feel like Jimothy's gonna have to go make tea at some point because it's his love language so he'll probably get ambushed in the kitchen then] Janis: [ugh SIR] Jimmy: [is nothing sacred you bitch, but at least she'll be upstairs so she can't brawl him and Twix will run up cos she will be scared so that'll distract you gal] Janis: [like if we heard brawling ourselves we would come down but I'd like to hope you're keeping it to shouting rn, have some shame dickhead, just look after this baby dog] Jimmy: [I would hope he is just shouting because he's that dickhead that wants to appear like he's not one and like what's to stop Janis telling literally everyone including her social worker nan so] Janis: [right, even if you think she's trash, I don't think you're being that dumb with it ever] Jimmy: [shamelessly just gonna bring the bae tea and biscuits as if that didn't happen] Janis: [trying not to be like !!! but we're also not gonna pretend as hard, patting the bed like come here] Jimmy: [obvs we do and do a feelsy lean when we're there cos we both need it] Janis: ['really wants Lucas to like him' because we know there's fuck all we can actually say to be of use, but we're tucking him back in and cuddling him] Jimmy: [a little lol because 1. funny 2. not what we expected her to say 3. relief that she hasn't said something that'll make it awks and that Ian didn't kick off any harder/try and kick her out] Janis: [equally small smile 'cos we love to see it but we do not love the rest of this situation so we're not buzzing obviously] Jimmy: [draw it bigger with our fingertip because we've remembered our 😁 challenge] Janis: [write LOL on him like okay, whilst we're here let's sort that out] Jimmy: [do some !! on her like epic lols please] Janis: [go to tickle him like it can be arranged] Jimmy: [obvs tickling her back like excuse you it's meant to be you doing it] Janis: [we are loling but still trying to tickle him and get him too] Jimmy: [never far from a playfight which I love for you and also I imagine that Twix is probably still around so joining in] Janis: [don't bark gal or do because we don't care about you Ian but bit rude to Cass, just pinning him and being like 'my offer still stands' which like, explain yourself but we're not lol] Jimmy: [also don't spill that tea or crush those biscuits/ let Twix get either of them while you're living your best life, obvs giving her a look like ?] Janis: [my boo always so concerned about the tea situation, runs a finger along his throat and looks meaningfully at the door like you know who] Jimmy: [I am and I'm not soz boo, but jimothy meanwhile is gonna just give you a lovebite/go over an existing one on your throat gal like I'd rather just kill you thank you] Janis: [doing the opposite of complaining about it] Jimmy: [taking the encouragement and going harder as a result of it duh] Janis: [when you can't breathe casually, pulling him closer into us 'please'] Jimmy: [kick that dog out so she doesn't cockblock you soz Twix, casually looks like you're like nope and leaving] Janis: [Twix is probably 🥺 but we definitely are x2 🥺🥺] Jimmy: [don't worry we're running back immediately to kiss you INTENSELY] Janis: [getting in his lap, duh, and looking at him for ages 'lovely' like yes, I was correct] Jimmy: [putting his finger on her nose like he's pointing at her cos no you] Janis: [grabbing the finger and then we're holding both his hands 'how am I going to make you happy?'] Jimmy: ['you already have done' because true that we've already forgotten about Ian's bullshit lbr cos we're in love] Janis: ['I could do better' 'you deserve better'] Jimmy: ['you just wanna take the challenge off me' because we can't even deal with our emotions over her saying that] Janis: ['I just wanna-' and kissing him again like let me show you] Jimmy: [a very enthusiastic response in all the ways possible because same] Janis: [have your moment kiddos, cannot express how much she's calling him baby] Jimmy: [cannot overstate how into that he is and will forever be] Janis: [being a perfect combo of intense but soft rn] Jimmy: [Cass gonna wish she was deaf too, first Ian shouting and now this lol] Janis: [thank god for headphones gal soz still not gonna be our fan for a while lol] Jimmy: [she's really not cos already had to dump Bobby on her when we had work then had to find Janis and now all this is shamelessly going on, soz gal] Janis: [it's fine, we'd hate us too in your position and we will win you 'round in the end] Jimmy: [I'm sure Jimothy will also do something to make it up to you cos he's just that bitch even though he's fuming at you for not walking Twix ever] Janis: [lowkey don't deserve it but you lucky gal and not shading you too hard] Jimmy: [we all know you're strugging rn gal it's okay] Janis: [not helping your brother but this isn't meant to be your job any more than it's meant to be his] Jimmy: [and we'll let you get your bf and friends soon and then you can walk Twix together] Janis: [and you'll be happy, despite the fact you go back up north, that's your business hen] Jimmy: [what if he sends her a valentine and that's what starts this lil otp] Janis: [that would be very cute do it] Jimmy: [like idk if he goes to your school or if he's putting in through your door or if he even signs it but we know bitch] Janis: [we should be nice and say he goes to your school so you have company but it should be a ? 'cos that's cute, I've only ever got one of those and it was from nannie haha] Jimmy: [I've derailed us but yeah that felt like a nice thing to happen amidst all the drama] Janis: [hohaha you'd be so embarrassed gal, be nice Jimothy aka shamelessly tease her] Jimmy: [simply must] Janis: [but yes, we're probably good for tonight unless you really wanna 'round 2 Ian] Jimmy: [do you wanna do the am?] Janis: [sure ting honey, it's a tuesday, so you'll be having to get Bobby ready for school and Ian will be gone so that's good] Jimmy: [leaving the bae in bed while we do our big brother duties but we will be bringing you breakfast gal you know it] Janis: 👋😪 Janis: you want any help? Jimmy: did I teach you the signs for hurry the fuck up? Janis: 🤔 Janis: [clip of her doing the thing where you gesture towards yourself frantically like LETS GO] Janis: ? Jimmy: that'd do Janis: does he know I'm here? Jimmy: he'd have come to ask you loads of questions about his missus if he did Janis: 💔 ouch Jimmy: if you fancy jumping out at him, the 🐕'll give you a hand knocking him about and getting his attention Janis: I'm not that offended Janis: be a bit rude Janis: plus if your sister knows I'm here, she definitely wants to see me even less Jimmy: but I might want to Jimmy: bit rude of you not to think about that Janis: Please Janis: I think about you ALL the time Janis: and you've seen a lot of me lately Jimmy: 🥺🥺🥺 Jimmy: me and the 🐕 are having a 💔💪🏆 Janis: she's FUMING at me Janis: I went to the bathroom and she was giving me 🔪🔪👀 Jimmy: the 🐕 or my sister? Janis: 🐕 Janis: your fault Janis: haven't you noticed her 😤 😠 😡 🤬 Jimmy: Oi, nowt to do with me, I never said you went to the park without her Janis: you kicked her out Janis: I remember Janis: also she was scrapping at the door Jimmy: not my fault you never said that were a kink of yours Jimmy: should've if you wanted her kept in Janis: shut up Janis: I said she was mad, not me Jimmy: she'll get over it once I sort her breakfast out Jimmy: what do you want? Janis: for 🥞🧇🥓🍳 or in life in general Jimmy: obvs to eat, dickhead Jimmy: but if there's owt else I can do an' all, go on Janis: cheek that you don't wanna know all about my ambitions and dreams in the morning Janis: @ the gals with that relatable content Jimmy: I LITERALLY just said tell me so that's bollocks Janis: woe is me 😉 can't hear you over all my 😭 Jimmy: poor baby Janis: are you going to school today? Jimmy: are you? Janis: haven't got my uniform Jimmy: you can borrow my spare if that's the only thing putting you off Janis: school is always off-putting Janis: but didn't know if you were gonna go in to shut him up Jimmy: if it were that piss easy I might do Janis: yeah Janis: I'll come in, if you are Janis: I usually have mine in my bag but I left that at home when I went out last night, for some reason Jimmy: probably weren't planning on going, we still don't have to Janis: what do you want to do? Jimmy: if we don't go? Janis: well I meant are we going or not Janis: but go on Jimmy: whatever is the most #ultimategoals bollocks we can think of, duh Janis: do you reckon any of them have heard of bed peace Janis: 😴😴😴 Jimmy: will have once I'm done 📷🥇 Janis: you're gonna koala onto the side of me? Janis: you're basically scouse, yeah 😏 Jimmy: unless you fancy making another fort downstairs, been ages since the last one Janis: just say you want to babe Janis: I'll get started whilst you're taking him in Jimmy: only thinking of you 🦒 Janis: it's a bit of a squeeze Janis: stretched out rn though Jimmy: very subtle Jimmy: I won't hurry back Janis: 🥺🥺 Janis: fine Jimmy: make up your mind, girl Janis: you know what I want Janis: read my mind, boy Jimmy: I miss you an' all Janis: compared to the school run, I'm a delight, obvs Jimmy: but hang on, some of them yummy mummies really dress up so you've got a bit of competition Janis: you have fun with that then Jimmy: 🤞😁🤞 OBVS Janis: you're gross Janis: and I'm going back to bed Jimmy: actual 🤞 you don't 🤮 in my 🗑 Janis: I ain't even hungover Jimmy: 'cause I came and got you before you could get too off your head Janis: you act like you've never done it Jimmy: never said that Janis: What, then? Jimmy: nowt 🤐 Janis: why'd you come though Jimmy: what kind of question is that? Janis: why can't I ask? Jimmy: what's it matter? it's done now Janis: alright Jimmy: there's 🗨 you can read before I did Janis: that would require reading my own 🗨 Janis: I'd rather leave it 🤐 Jimmy: alright Janis: 👍 Janis: I'll take the dog out Jimmy: what happened to going back to 😴? Janis: I'm not sleepy Jimmy: tah then Janis: no worries Jimmy: 👍 Janis: it doesn't need to be weird Jimmy: what? Janis: ➡️ ⬅️ ⬆️ ⬇️ ↗️ ↘️ ↙️ ↖️ Janis: this Jimmy: you're the one calling it weird to say it don't need to be Janis: I'm just saying I don't wanna start up the whole thing again, that's all Jimmy: that's alright by me Janis: okay Janis: ignore me Jimmy: I don't want to ignore you Janis: okay, don't, but I mean Janis: I'm not trying to be a dick Jimmy: I'll give you a 🏆 if you manage it Jimmy: 😏 Janis: fair but fuck off 😂 Janis: not going for 😇 fake gf Jimmy: what you going for? Janis: 😈 DUH Jimmy: you can have that 🏆 Janis: I'd fight you if you disagreed on that Jimmy: no need as it's fake Jimmy: I'll agree to owt as long as it's on brand Janis: that ain't fake Jimmy: last night it were Jimmy: SO nice you 😇🏆🥇 Janis: that was mate stuff Janis: not fake gf Jimmy: let's just be mates today then Jimmy: I'm 🥱😴 if you're not Janis: subtle way to say just be nice to me all day Janis: but alright Jimmy: I'll do it back, not that much of a dickhead Janis: doesn't sound terrible Jimmy: 🤝? Janis: 🤝 Janis: and I could sleep, so don't need to worry about me creepily watching you and/or stealing all your shit whilst you 🥱😴 Jimmy: I ain't Jimmy: you've had loads of chances to do both before now Janis: gain your trust first, not an amateur Jimmy: and what, you reckon you have? Janis: yep Janis: like you said, could've easily done both by now Jimmy: 👌 Janis: oi, are you saying I haven't? Jimmy: I said I weren't bothered about you thieving or 👀 at us 😴 Jimmy: don't mean I trust you, mate, just that I've got nowt worth nicking and don't reckon I'm 🎨 Janis: Psh, that's a blatant lie Jimmy: which bit? Janis: not reckoning you're 🎨 Janis: you and your massive head Jimmy: piss off Jimmy: if that weren't bollocks I'd be my own muse Janis: selfies aren't #art Janis: that's the truth, pretentious hipster Jimmy: take one and watch the fans disagree Janis: you do the same Janis: you know what you look like Jimmy: [obviously does because no fucks given ever] Jimmy: there you go then Janis: see Janis: you're Janis: your DMs will 💥 'cos I'm not in it Jimmy: have to take loads with you in Jimmy: good job you're not hungover Janis: I've not seen myself yet Janis: could be 👹 Jimmy: 📷 Jimmy: it's your go Janis: [a bed selfie where you clearly look good 'cos when do you not, bitches be mad] Janis: demanding, you Jimmy: if I were next to you there I would be Janis: 😳 Janis: rude to say that and not be Jimmy: I thought it'd be ruder not to 🗨 soz Jimmy: taking our 🤝 dead serious, me Janis: speechless is a bit far Jimmy: Dunno you might reckon the nicest thing I can do is shut up Janis: nah Janis: I've told you loads I don't mind it Janis: your 🗨 Jimmy: [a voice memo that's full of compliments about that selfie because of course] Janis: I already missed you Janis: you had to make me admit it, didn't you Jimmy: weren't why but I'm not fuming that you feel the same as me Janis: you shouldn't be allowed out of this bed Janis: s'what I reckon Jimmy: we can stay there long as you want Janis: ⛓😍 Jimmy: be like Lucas is about Jimmy: no need to go to english Janis: yeah, smart to mouth off to your captor Janis: think on Jimmy: #thickandnorthern Jimmy: you have been warned before Janis: damn, I thought you said thicc Janis: misled Jimmy: 💔🎻😭 for you Janis: yeah, pretty gutted Janis: you'll do for now Jimmy: til you @ some fatter northern dickhead Janis: have to change my tinder location Jimmy: not much of a #kink since you ain't even offered to make me owt for breakfast Janis: those are perks you've not even fake unlocked Jimmy: or answered what you want Janis: surprise me Janis: I'll get you something on the way back with the dog Jimmy: already outted yourself as not a real feeder, no need to follow through on it Janis: you don't like surprises...? Jimmy: you heard that I don't trust you Janis: it's breakfast Jimmy: it were you who asked the question Janis: alright Janis: your loss Jimmy: I do like surprises from you, the 🎄🎁 were good Janis: You ain't bad either Janis: no 🎅 shithead Jimmy: 💕 Janis: dunno how I'm gonna top it Jimmy: got ages before you have to Jimmy: not expecting THAT 🥇 of a breakfast, like Janis: wait and 👀 boy Janis: 💪🏆 Jimmy: 😏 Jimmy: I get it, you want me to have to compete with whatever 🍳🍞☕️🥞🧇🥓 I'm knocking up for you Janis: How else will you learn, babe? Janis: or maybe I just wanna do something nice, dickhead Jimmy: what's 🐕🏃 if not that? Janis: nothing new Janis: feel like that's all I friggin do Jimmy: who 🗨 it had to be something new? Jimmy: not 🥱😴 of you Janis: **because I keep you on your toes Jimmy: you're still about, that's all I want Janis: tah Janis: proximity is your biggest selling point as well Jimmy: 👏 @iantaylor8 for pissing about in this shithole instead of the one he was born in Janis: I'll @ my grandparents whilst I'm at it Jimmy: I meant you being at my 🏠 still but alright Jimmy: if they wanna take a bit of credit for that, you did say you didn't wanna go there Janis: already rude you have to split it 50/50 with your dad so Janis: not technically their fault, even if they'd hardly be happy I got pissed on a school day Jimmy: bit rude you didn't save me any tbh Jimmy: but not a surprise so I can't be fuming about it Janis: weren't my alcohol Janis: you could've hoe'd for it like the rest of us Jimmy: read the room a bit and they weren't chuffed to see me 💔🎻 Janis: awh babes Janis: 😞😘 Jimmy: your fault that you were, could've toned it down 🤏 and let me have some mates Janis: excuse me, you weren't hanging about to chat neither Jimmy: convenient that, you chucking the blame back over here Janis: you could've chucked me back if you were actually arsed Jimmy: might've been a good shout but I had a look and none of 'em were as fit as you Janis: now THAT'S a compliment Jimmy: take it then Janis: How can I? Janis: so overwhelmed you fancy me more than a bunch of greasy 16 year olds in tracksuits Jimmy: you're in the right place to have a lie down, you'll be alright Janis: OBVIOUSLY I prefer to swoon directly into your arms but Janis: have to do Janis: long as you reckon I'm dead when you get back and top yourself Janis: 😩🤤 Jimmy: Bill wouldn't have owt else Jimmy: trying to get this ☕☠ as we 🗨 him Janis: he's so thoughtful Janis: 💕 Jimmy: [bring her whatever adorable breakfast you've made before she gets out of bed because we know what this gal is like] Janis: [shamelessly giving you a massive smooch like you're gonna be gone forever] Jimmy: [it will feel like forever and we all know it, also shamelessly doing a little photoshoot so his dms don't blow up and obvs no other reason like she's the cutest ever] Janis: [so domestic, so cute] Jimmy: [the effort to tear himself away I lol you'll be right back sir] Janis: [and we all know you're not going to school so like, you have all day kids, god bless] Jimmy: [too in love] Janis: [bet Mia will make one of the gals dob you in] Jimmy: [she blatantly will, that snitch] Janis: [like get over it henny, why have you got nothing better on] Jimmy: [your jealousy and bitterness is simply not bringing us down rn hun] Janis: [we're already in trouble and don't care so like, what do you think you're achieving] Jimmy: [you're just annoying Grace even more than you already do gal, sadly she has not yet yeeted and we will have to endure the notp of her and Harry] Jimmy: [jimothy meanwhile is living his best life sending the bae pisstakey pics of these mums on the school run] Janis: ugh, put your tongue away Jimmy: @ the 🐕 Jimmy: nowt but 😎🖍 here Janis: well that was SO 🤓 so Janis: speak for yourself, not him Janis: dragging down his playground cred Jimmy: alright 😒🌧 then Janis: you'll get all the single mums that ain't learnt their lesson after you then Janis: sensible ones trying to tempt away the nice male teacher or one of the active dads Jimmy: #ultimatekinkunlocked Jimmy: Asia's mum Janis: She would Janis: you should, at least make Asia fuming Jimmy: see if I can convince her to 🔒 our kid's BFF in a cupboard or some bollocks an' all Jimmy: send her off to wherever the fuck she's named after Janis: must look up to the 💀💀s more that one Jimmy: must take after Asia with her 🧠 AND 🦷🦷 Janis: Poor little fuckers Jimmy: should have the full orchestra hanging about on this school run Janis: right? Janis: it's well depressing Jimmy: 💔 you ain't trained the 🐕 to take him to school for us Janis: soz she still needs a babysitter herself, like Janis: she'll be out of the puppy stage soon-ish and less of a handful but Nana is still a bit of a 💭 Jimmy: convenient excuses them, Janet Janis: 😒 Jimmy: *😏 Janis: I thought you were trained better than this, tbh Jimmy: said as you're having breakfast in bed Janis: you're saying I should be telling you how grateful I am rn? Jimmy: don't sound like me, that Janis: Hmm Jimmy: wind your 🦒 neck in Jimmy: I'm being nice Janis: Charming as ever 😂 Jimmy: [writes some v charming and extra post like there you go] Janis: it's gross yet impressive how fast you can turn it on Jimmy: 🥇 or nowt baby Jimmy: 💪🏆 Janis: post about how fast you can turn it on would seem a bit cheap rn Janis: I'll be more 💕 too I GUESS Janis: [post it bitch] Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: now give me what the 1st draft were Janis: [something way more 🔥] Jimmy: you been holding out on me this whole time or what? Janis: can't distract you from your duties/milf hunting Jimmy: you've just proved you can Janis: alright, shouldn't Jimmy: why? Janis: because you're having SUCH a good time already Janis: what kind of mate? Jimmy: a TOP one, duh Janis: you haven't been that nice Janis: 💔 Jimmy: how have I not? Janis: aforementioned milfs Janis: 🥺 Jimmy: Baby Jimmy: I'm sending those pisstaking 📷 of them but I'm looking at the ones of you Janis: Jealousy isn't cute, I get it Jimmy: whatever you do is cute, every dickhead gets that Janis: you're not every dickhead Janis: and I'm not that bitch Jimmy: and the kind of dickhead I am is alright with who you are Janis: ew Janis: 🤫🤫🤫 Jimmy: Oi Janis: we don't do mushy Jimmy: calm yourself down, I'll chuck a pillow at you in a bit or some bollocks Janis: I'll start an argument if you like Jimmy: has been AGES since the last one Janis: 👍 Janis: so much fun Jimmy: for Bill, I'd be chuffed to leave it out with the #drama Janis: unlucky Jimmy: for you, not being able to compete with Ian when it comes to having a strop Jimmy: I'll live Janis: fuck off Jimmy: this you starting the 🥊? Janis: you'd know if it was Janis: so no Jimmy: 👍 Janis: let's not Janis: I can't be arsed to go into school Jimmy: you know I don't wanna fight with you Janis: then we're not Jimmy: 🤞 Janis: I'm capable Jimmy: never said you weren't Janis: you don't need to when you keep calling me stroppy like I'm Libi's fucking age Jimmy: I'm only pissing about Jimmy: call me what you like Janis: not feeling the 🤤 now soz Jimmy: 💔 Janis: isn't it just Janis: me and the 🐕 are out, if you rush, the bed will still be warm-ish Jimmy: 🏃 Jimmy: how much food she nick off you? Janis: erm she had to wait patiently until I was done Jimmy: alright, bighead Janis: can't help being dominant Jimmy: send tweet Jimmy: I'll get one of the 🎻 to play for you Janis: for you Janis: 🥈 Jimmy: piss off Janis: 😏 Janis: ask Lucas, under me is EXACTLY where you wanna be, dickhead Jimmy: I'll @ him while I'm waiting for you Janis: better than the milfs Janis: he can't come 'round and seduce you Janis: #doubleenglishfirstperiod Jimmy: have to use his words Janis: if that's a hint Jimmy: for him that he can't half arse this just 'cause he's got one of Bill's classics to teach Janis: good luck Janis: he's way more touchy feely, despite the job title Jimmy: tah babe 😘 Janis: what's your angle Janis: besides being 2nd choice to me Jimmy: don't need one Jimmy: it's just that REAL between us, obvs Janis: 👌 Janis: what a nice change Jimmy: gotta have something to do when you're pissing about with this 🐕 Janis: thought you were 🥱😴? Jimmy: thought you promised me breakfast Janis: You can't nap and leave me to it? Janis: got loads of fantasies to be cracking on with, nothing else Jimmy: too excited, me Jimmy: you proper talked up how 🥇 it were gonna be a bit ago Janis: ✊💦 help you finish Janis: what a morning you're having Jimmy: don't keep you about for nowt Janis: aside from the fact I allegedly wouldn't go home Jimmy: it weren't like I were gonna make you Jimmy: or wanted to Janis: cheers Janis: if I was gonna argue with anyone Janis: better be you Janis: sorry Jimmy: we called a truce, you weren't allowed Janis: right Janis: be a bit rude to Jimmy: and you've got nowt to be sorry for Janis: I remember what we actually did Janis: so I know Jimmy: no hangover, not even that much of a pisshead in the first place, yeah I heard Janis: okay Janis: I know I was a bit Janis: not the end of the world Jimmy: not having a go Janis: thank god Jimmy: meant what I said Janis: what part? Jimmy: all of them Janis: nice and specific Janis: but okay Jimmy: alright, specifically not being a massive dickhead to you Jimmy: today at least Janis: don't worry Janis: you're never that bad Janis: not 🥇 anyway Jimmy: that's bollocks but sounds like 🥊🗨 an' all so I'll leave it out Janis: you reckon you're Ian levels of 🤬? Janis: nah Jimmy: there'd be a massive scale between him and me Jimmy: don't mean I weren't a twat to you before Janis: well you are a dickhead, don't need to apologize for who you are, like Janis: you're my mate, yeah Jimmy: your best mate, keep having to tell you Janis: I've still got the necklace Jimmy: be a bit rude if you'd chucked it Janis: don't just wear it when you're about Jimmy: don't just use my lighter when you are Janis: Your habit is pretty extensive Jimmy: 🚬's dead addictive, you not heard? Janis: 😱 Janis: and you let me have some Janis: wow Jimmy: not your daddy Jimmy: and it's a bit late for your growth to get stunted, Judith Janis: you're trying to make yourself feel tall Janis: that makes sense, Tom Jimmy: if I were bothered I'd chuck on a pair of 👠 Janis: or take a saw to mine Jimmy: I'll try not to go as far as fucking up your ankle again Jimmy: right ball ache that were Janis: why are you lying kathy Jimmy: Dunno what you mean Jimmy: ain't a 🪓 under this pillow or owt Jimmy: just me and my ⛓ how you're used to Janis: I'll come back then Janis: if you're promising no surprises Jimmy: [a pic of him snuggled in bed like see there's no danger] Janis: you're cute Jimmy: you Janis: I've got the evidence right in front of me so Jimmy: me an' all Jimmy: 👀📷 Janis: I'd take better ones but there's nothing very sexy about freezing my nips off Janis: you can, when I'm back Jimmy: warm you up a bit first Janis: you will Jimmy: can easily promise that Janis: It's not easy though Janis: you're just good Jimmy: never been a hard job, can't take all the credit for that Jimmy: 🤏 you an' all Jimmy: probably have to share the 🏆 at least Janis: alright Janis: we can drink from it Janis: toast to how easy it is Jimmy: long as Bill's 👻 don't try and take over like the proud dad he is Janis: ☠ later Jimmy: he'll have to wait til after I've 💀💀💀 you loads of other ways Janis: you first in that respect Janis: always Jimmy: them lads from that estate'll still be fuming about it Jimmy: swings'll be 🔥 Janis: was never gonna get drunk enough to do shit with them 🤷 Jimmy: not enough drinks in whatever shop they robbed for you to wanna bother, I get it Janis: obviously Janis: not the only girl to ever fuck them over like that, they'll survive Janis: least they can't accuse me of being frigid without sounding stupid now Jimmy: if anyone's still calling you that it'll be me that's fuming Jimmy: what more have I gotta do, like? Janis: 🍆📹 they wish Jimmy: come here then Janis: 😏 Jimmy: *🏃 Janis: I get it, you need both hands free Jimmy: dunno what's ruder, that you're not well trained enough to leg it to me when I click my fingers or that you reckon I don't already have a tripod set up Janis: right, you're a PROFESSIONAL pervert Janis: excuse me Jimmy: get it right Janis: get yourself to church Jimmy: hang on, I'll @ your shit nan, see if she can pick me up Janis: I'll stop 🏃 then Jimmy: or just 🏃 faster Janis: you think I want to fight my nan again Jimmy: didn't know it were a habit Janis: oh Janis: yeah, obvs Jimmy: alright, if it stops you trying to 🥊 with me Janis: bit selfish but Janis: 👌 Jimmy: never said I weren't Janis: I definitely am so not gonna say nothing Jimmy: already said I like you, not gonna risk 🗨 it again after how that went Janis: no accounting for taste Jimmy: 💔🎻 Jimmy: got time to dry my eyes before you get back Janis: just about Janis: but I know you, so don't worry too much Jimmy: Oi Janis: I like you too Jimmy: that's alright then Jimmy: no need to chuck you out Janis: you promised you'd warm me up first Jimmy: 'course I will Jimmy: not an utter bastard Janis: I know Janis: fuck knows why I like you Jimmy: 😏 Jimmy: Bill's gonna do you a list, look less bigheaded coming from him Janis: 🤏 Janis: [come back now] Jimmy: [show her why she likes you with the most extra and enthusiastic welcome ever] Janis: [thank god everyone has gone so we can do what we like, even Twix be having her breakfast rn] Jimmy: [the actual freedom because that's never a thing for him] Janis: [true, when he's here the kids always are, live your best life honeys, not that you were being considerate last night but you know lol] Jimmy: [the feelings just keep getting higher, they can't be blamed or tamed, 100000000% gonna get in the shower together later and run up Ian's water bill too not soz] Janis: [hohaha you know he's the type to be fuming so we gotta] Jimmy: [he's gonna be so fuming when Janis leaves because you've skipped school again as well, not looking forward to that but for now, I'm buzzing for you both] Janis: [no, we're all worried about that, lowkey trying to never leave again but we know we have to soon, just like 🥺] Jimmy: [it's not gonna be nice, fuck you Ian, thank god things are going well for jj rn so if he kicks jimothy out in the cold or something post brawl at least we have the bae] Janis: [subtly moves self in so Ian can never kick off again, we know that that is eventually what's gonna happen but sadly not yet] Jimmy: [can't wait for that] Janis: [lowkey take over your house because what you gon do sir, look after your children? unlikely] Jimmy: [or out yourself as an actual utter bastard by kicking off, even more unlikely] Janis: [like you can be salty but if you even asked for rent or whatever to try and get her out she'd just pay it so soz] Jimmy: [so glad Janis has worked out what Ian is really like because it'd seem like he was making it up/ it wasn't as bad if she hadn't] Janis: [the injuries don't lie, and if he'd got them from scrapping or whatever he would've just said 'cos it's much less shameful so we know] Jimmy: [and soz but who would this soft boy be fighting you're not a massive slag giving him grief like his ex] Janis: [exactly, we already know he ain't that boy either so like, pretend all you like Ian, we see you] Jimmy: [not soz he's not actually Liam 2.0 and a mad lad] Janis: [you'll see eventually fam, anywhosers, do we wanna do any of their day or skip to when she's gotta think about leaving] Jimmy: [we can probably skip because we know the vibe when they're together] Janis: [when are you gonna think you've gotta leave hmm] Jimmy: [and am I making you go to work after school or not hmm] Janis: [that would make sense, if you go to work and you leave] Jimmy: [let's do that then why not] Jimmy: [probably go pick Bobby up from school first and maybe take him and Twix to the park or something for a bit because Cass gonna mad at you after last night so] Janis: [yeah, we can give you that time, he's primary so he probably gets out pretty early] Jimmy: you wanna come with me? Jimmy: do some ☕🎨 Janis: tempting offer, boy Janis: I DO need to perfect the 💕 for the BIG day Jimmy: for the fans who ain't 😎 enough for the smoke rings I taught you Janis: all of them? Jimmy: SHOOK that you've forgotten the dickheads who vape Jimmy: good to know you ain't getting me one of them for the BIG day Janis: I bet they have flavours that are well appropriate though Janis: all 🍓🍧🍨🧁🍭🍬🍫 Jimmy: gimme 👼🏽🩸 and 🥀 or I don't want it 💔 Janis: That's why you've invited me Janis: 🤞 I fuck up that bad Janis: who's first aid? Jimmy: Pete 😍🤤 Jimmy: had loads of 🩺 fantasies obvs Janis: UGH Janis: what can't he do Jimmy: NOWT Jimmy: 💪🏆🩹💕 Jimmy: need a 🤕 that looks chuffed to bits Janis: 🥴 with a bandage, deffo Janis: cannot wait for my third degree burns now Jimmy: they'll probably be about though Jimmy: 💀👑 and that Jimmy: so you'll have to fake that your 😍🤤 is @ me til they've pissed off Janis: oh, duh Janis: caffeine so needed after a long day of bitching about everyone Janis: I reckon I'll manage Jimmy: haven't had their IRL 👀 on us all day Jimmy: 💔🎻😭 Janis: You need the audience, yeah? Jimmy: they need the updates Jimmy: nowt to do with me Janis: hmm Janis: alright, hate to disappoint 'em, obvs Jimmy: make it worth your ⏲ with 🥪🍪🧁 if their 👀🔪🔪 don't Janis: just don't make yourself sick of me Jimmy: bit rude to be taking the piss out of my stamina Janis: you're rude Jimmy: how am I? Jimmy: been 🥇😇 all day Janis: exactly Jimmy: I just Jimmy: don't want you to 👋 yet Janis: Me either Janis: I'm coming Jimmy: okay Janis: I just feel a bit Janis: the hangover might've caught up with me Janis: easy on the 🍪🧁 Jimmy: I'll knock you up a smoothie Janis: so behind my 💪🏆 Jimmy: DUH Jimmy: you can sit in the back again an' all if you want Janis: that's okay Janis: gotta have all 👀s on us to make it count Jimmy: nowt makes 'em more fuming than what they can't 👀 all I'm 🗨 Jimmy: you don't need to worry about chucking them the 🍿 if you don't feel alright Janis: should teach them to lip read Janis: but don't Janis: I'm okay, honest Jimmy: [teaching her how to sign stuff for if she doesn't feel well that won't be obvious to the flatwhites cos lord knows some sign language really is] Janis: [doing some you've remembered from a previous sesh like look, I've learnt] Jimmy: 🥇 Janis: 😏 I know, so impressive Janis: Libi makes me practice with her Jimmy: without me having to @ her an' all Jimmy: must be 💕 Janis: DUH Janis: don't be acting like you haven't had your 👂 signed off Jimmy: it's alright, he's deffo gonna outdo me with his 🎨 and 🎁s Jimmy: probably keep it going the whole 2 weeks, him Jimmy: CLEARLY mutual Janis: Your influence Jimmy: except I dunno what I'm gonna get you that won't make you start a scale for it from 🙄 to 🤮 Janis: you don't have to get ME fuck all Janis: you only have to 1 up the basic 🎁 every lad does Jimmy: you'll be stuck with it, might as well sort out something that's not a load of shite Janis: 👍 Janis: I'll hit Bobby up for tips Jimmy: too soon for a 💍? Jimmy: he'd say it ain't Janis: 😂 Janis: gonna have to keep an 👀 on him Jimmy: least he's only got 😍 for Libi and don't take after me in being a massive slag Jimmy: be proposing to his whole class Janis: be well pricey if he's not reusing Jimmy: have to break into one of them machines once the shop is out of the sweet ones Janis: hoeing was meant to bring in the 💰 not lose it Janis: 💔 Jimmy: not gonna say you should give him tips Jimmy: still don't wanna 🥊 tah Janis: Not gonna break no baby hearts, so you're safe for now Jimmy: now I know you're feeling 🤢 Janis: you're gonna have to later Jimmy: what for? Janis: 🥊 Janis: not me Jimmy: I thought you meant 💔👶 Jimmy: not in the job description but alright Janis: 'course not Janis: be a weird rule to have at any of 'em Janis: ☕ or 💕 Jimmy: piss easy though Janis: that's not up for debate Janis: taking the 🍭🍬 is well known Jimmy: *🍪🧁 Jimmy: off you and them Janis: so tough Jimmy: stop flirting with me Jimmy: I won't wanna go Janis: you promised you'd teach me how to do the thing Jimmy: UGH fine Janis: I'll make it worth your while Jimmy: 🤞 Janis: come on Janis: you know me Jimmy: and you know I'm only pissing about, Jules Jimmy: VERY impressive, you Jimmy: said it before Janis: I'll get you to say it again Janis: one way or another Jimmy: you can't just say that like it's nowt and we're just gonna go crack on with ☕🎨 Janis: why not? Jimmy: you know why not Janis: 🥺 Jimmy: you're so Janis: that's you Jimmy: you Janis: you did such a good job on your first job Janis: you deserve to have a good shift Jimmy: it weren't a job today Janis: true Jimmy: I'll call in sick if you want, my nursing kink ain't gone nowhere Janis: No, no Janis: we'll have a good time Jimmy: can't deny that Janis: you can but I'm gonna do my best Jimmy: you'd know I were faking if I tried to bother Janis: let's not Janis: even if they're there Janis: we can still work it Jimmy: 🤝 Janis: 🤝 Jimmy: it still won't feel like a job, however hard work 💀👑 and her mates are Janis: neither of us need it Janis: they'll see 😍 regardless 'cos they want to Jimmy: right Jimmy: we've done our 💕 posts Janis: and it's not like I'll be ignoring you Jimmy: or that I can ever ignore you Janis: they don't know the difference Jimmy: 🧠💀💀💀 Janis: and you do 💀💀 me Janis: really Jimmy: you're killing me now Janis: sorry Janis: IOU Jimmy: when you feel less hungover Janis: I don't feel hungover Janis: I just miss you and I'm gonna miss you Jimmy: no need to miss me now and if you do in a bit I'll do the balcony scene 🌹 Jimmy: gone further to come get you and I didn't get lost Janis: it was VERY impressive, baby Jimmy: do alright under pressure Jimmy: @ my manager Janis: I'll put it on the trip advisor review Jimmy: tah Janis: I'll keep it PG Janis: or at the very least be vague about which barista I'm fucking Jimmy: I get it, this were nowt but a plan to get Pete's girlfriend to piss off Janis: 🤫🤫 Janis: worked SO hard on this plan, you ain't fucking it up for me Jimmy: 🤐 for now but he'll get it out of me Janis: great, now I've got to have a threesome with you 🙄 Jimmy: need a different eye rolling emoji for that Jimmy: get a bit closer to your actual review Janis: don't you dare make me 😳 in front of him Jimmy: it ain't my fault you're 😳 whenever I'm about Janis: psh Janis: whichever way you look at it that's clearly bollocks Jimmy: you're 🗨 bollocks denying it, mate Janis: shut up Jimmy: make me Janis: you're on Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: sorted our kid out now, I can do you before we have to go Janis: 1. no you can't 2. don't add me to your to-do list Jimmy: 1. yeah I can 2. you're top of every list, don't be a dickhead Janis: I want you too much Jimmy: so come here Jimmy: there's loads I can do about that Janis: [do that] Jimmy: [I'm just like do we want these kids to ruin this for you or no cos clearly both around] Janis: [when we're gonna be so rude later we're like ahh have everything lol, you probably would get cocklblocked though being real] Jimmy: [hence I was conflicted because Ian is gonna be a huge cunt and hurt you boy but realism though] Janis: [you can have an enjoyable time at the CG before we make you say goodbye it's okay, like it's not but] Jimmy: [we're doing what we can lads, you're welcome] Jimmy: [we can totally skip to then now if you like] Janis: [skippity doo dah] Jimmy: [do we wanna do any of the CG stuff is the question or fully go to later] Janis: [we could just vibe out how the gals are 'cos we already said Mia and co are being extra like skipping school is so shocking, then skip to when they have to say goodbye 'cos it'll be emosh] Jimmy: [that's a fair shout I think because yeah we know that they'll be goals without trying so it's just how Mia's trying to be] Janis: ['cos soon she's gonna literally get him fired so clearly she's gonna be a cow] Jimmy: [making complaints like a Karen when he's literally done nothing wrong, we see you] Janis: [she should be like IS THAT GIRL TRAINED when he's letting Janis do some latte art, as if they're giving anyone the ones she's making, so then they have to stop] Jimmy: [that's so petty she would, like gal we weren't gonna serve it to you we're just having a nice time while there is a lull in customers step back] Janis: [seriously, excuse us tryna have fun, like we still will but clearly that's the vibe, any time they try to do something she's like UM] Jimmy: [yeah and any time he tries to go remotely near the bae's table she suddenly needs something as if he's the only barista here] Janis: Can she be our second victim? Janis: 🔪🔪 Jimmy: first Jimmy: no need to hang about Janis: I'll clearly poison her 'cos I dunno how to make a latte Janis: whoops Jimmy: could let you loose with the steam wand Janis: her face just looks like that Jimmy: exactly, can't be traced back to you Janis: I don't want Pete to give me his disappointed face when he has to give her a bandage and write it in the accident book though Janis: 😥 Jimmy: I'll say it were me, piss easy to get his forgiveness 😘 Janis: rude Jimmy: it's alright, I know how to get yours an' all Janis: you do not Jimmy: 😏 Janis: dickhead Janis: meant to be focused on the murder anyway, you've got well off topic Jimmy: Oi, well decent at 🤹 now, me Janis: you need to work on your 🏃 clearly Jimmy: get my 🐕 trained and then we'll 🗨 Janis: am I even qualified? Jimmy: Depends Jimmy: can you get 💀👑 to behave herself or what? Janis: could give it a go Janis: what's in it for me though Jimmy: other than getting to rub her noise in her 🤮 next time she pisses off to the 🚽 how dickheads do when their 🐕s piss, you mean? Jimmy: what else do you want? Janis: save on you cleaning it up, you mean Janis: but alright Janis: [go over to the gals table like they haven't been actively being bitchy like HEY BABES WHAT'S UP] Jimmy: [comes over too like is there anything else you need and just being subtly but not subtly touchy feely with the bae while you're there to annoy Mia like what are you gonna do bitch make a complaint cos I'm playing with her hair] Janis: [getting y'all a massive cake or muffin or whatever that you would never order yourselves like our treat!] Jimmy: [LOL I love that, Hollie will be buzzing] Janis: [finally some food, just force feeding you like what are you gonna do, say no and look weird? I think not] Jimmy: 👍 Janis: worth it for the 😨😰 Janis: just collateral the ones that eat occasionally are getting fed but I'll cope Jimmy: do you want owt or have they made you lose your appetite? Jimmy: tell me so I can fake that I 🧠📖 Janis: I'll take a smoothie Janis: bonus points that I can brag about how talented you are or whatever Jimmy: and she can have a go that I ignored a load of dickheads to get it done for you Jimmy: they must be 👻s an' all Janis: since when was 💕a crime, Mia Janis: must've been dumped Jimmy: when I'm 45 and undercover 👮🚔 but that's our secret so Janis: She'd be far too into you then Janis: no escape Jimmy: [IRL 🤫 cos he looks hot doing it and then it looks like they are being saucy with their convo lol] Janis: [🤭 energy back but not exactly that obviously] Jimmy: [😏😍 energy that is not fake because I 100% assume she's wearing his clothes rn cos not been home and looking cute af] Jimmy: [definitely giving as many LOOKs as we can while we make this smoothie] Janis: [she definitely is so that's adorable and we never need to fake this energy lbr] Jimmy: [you've never had to fake much of anything we know and that's why this works] Janis: [mhmm, faking an interest in y'alls convo however? very much so] Janis: please tell me you're due a 🚬 soon Jimmy: manager ain't about to stop me Jimmy: bit busy with his 👂🩸 from all her whinging probably Janis: definitely better not go out back as it's staff only Jimmy: What?! 😱 you DON'T work here? Jimmy: top ☕🎨 like that! Janis: I know right?! Janis: #hiremegreg Jimmy: [writes her a review as if she do work here] Janis: pretty generous Jimmy: [shows her some pics of his early latte art like look how shit I was] Janis: awh, baby's first ☕🎨 Janis: only got a few years before your brother comes for this gig too Jimmy: 🤞 they'll have heard of coffee in the north by then Jimmy: he'll be 💔😭😭 else Janis: 😏 Janis: you're not emmerdale northern, I remember, can't fool me Jimmy: UGH fine Jimmy: real 🤞 he's stopped copying me ages before that Janis: you'll lose your ✨ Jimmy: ⏲ Jimmy: [give her this smoothie with today's 🎨 on the napkin and a kiss on the cheek] Janis: [insta that in front of the gals, obvs, just showing you all how cute we are] Janis: 🤞 I don't forget and wipe my face with that Jimmy: 🤞 I've got my 📷 out when you do Janis: I won't Janis: 🐘 memory Jimmy: 💔 you'd look well shakespearian with a pen beard Jimmy: Bill's gonna roll in his ⚰ at the missed chance Janis: I don't need to think about him that excited, tbh Jimmy: 👻🎻 Janis: you're the slag, you deal with it Jimmy: alright Jimmy: leave you with whatever you wanna 💭 about instead Janis: but Jimmy: ? Janis: what happened to our break? Jimmy: nowt, ready when you are Janis: [run away because we are over this girly chat like let's go] Jimmy: [you lasted longer than I would gal hence Jimothy will light you a 🚬 cos deserved] Janis: [you can dramatically breathe out like PHEW] Jimmy: [do your own because we all know what you're thinking about but we can pretend it's either a pisstake of hers or in solidarity] Janis: [reaching out to squeeze the hand that isn't holding his cigarette] Jimmy: [writing an o and a k on the back of hers but not establishing whether we're saying we are or asking if she is] Janis: [kissing the back of his] Jimmy: [kissing her dramatically because he cannot handle the softness rn] Janis: [we can go with that too] Jimmy: [just have a moment lads that's deserved too] Janis: [going in 'cos our emotions] Jimmy: [likewise because it's not like you care about all the people going past or that can see you inside] Janis: [keep going to say 'we-' and 'you-' like many times but never actually finishing either sentence 'cos you know he can't] Jimmy: [and don't talk to me about how tightly he's holding onto her because never mind this break not being long enough, this whole shift isn't and the goodbye and how evil I'm gonna be is looming over us] Janis: [gonna need someone to come through and break yous up we all know it] Jimmy: [thank god there's lots of possibilities for that cos of where you are] Janis: [someone else just tryna have their break lol] Jimmy: [soz but not] Janis: [truly] Janis: I'll brb Jimmy: Where you going? Janis: just need to get some stuff Jimmy: 🔪🪓🔧🔨🧱🧨🛢 I get it Janis: exactly Jimmy: in a bit then Janis: they should fuck off now 🤞 Jimmy: *🤞😁🤞 Janis: I'll do that whole way down the street, like Jimmy: 📷 it for us Jimmy: nowt else would do to make me 😁😁😁 Janis: ugh Janis: now I have to Jimmy: if you want a 🏆 or IOU Janis: [obviously we are] Jimmy: [have a lil reaction vid back as if we're not literally meant to be working because we're a nerd and in love] Janis: there we go Janis: all worth it now Janis: even though I looked like tiktok tammy Jimmy: 🦍🌃 Jimmy: you could NEVER Janis: compliment or diss? Jimmy: What kind of question is that? Janis: dunno Janis: 'cos if you're saying I can't dance like I'm having a seizure that's a lie Jimmy: you're gonna have to prove that now, you get that, yeah? Jimmy: walked right into making yourself look a twat Janis: you ask for any more 📷 and it's just gonna be weird Jimmy: alright, if you'd rather do it here in front of dickheads buying ☕ crack on Jimmy: I'll wait Janis: what about me doesn't scream 'loves an audience' Jimmy: what about me makes you reckon I'll be up for being your fake boyfriend after any of that bollocks? Jimmy: far as plans to dump me go Janis: you're the one asking me to do it, dickhead Janis: can't reverse psychology your way into getting to be the one doing the dumping Jimmy: you set yourself up, dickhead, nowt to do with me Janis: you could let it slide Janis: you already know I can dance Jimmy: I could Jimmy: you have got that IOU Janis: not what I'd use it for in an ideal world but Jimmy: might let you keep it and let it go an' all if I like the sound of what you would use it for Jimmy: am in a VERY 😁 mood now Janis: that'd be telling Janis: can't risk that 😁 Jimmy: go on Jimmy: you said it were in an ideal world, nowt but 😁 there Janis: but that ain't where any of us is Janis: so no point Jimmy: 🥺🥺🥺 Janis: yeah Janis: you weren't meant to stop 😁 Jimmy: doing my customer service face, it's as near Janis: if you're an alien who's never seen a person before Jimmy: busted 💔 Janis: 👮=👽 checks out Jimmy: bit racist of you but I get it, the north does look like something out of a shite sci fi film Jimmy: all them fuming orange lasses with nowt on 🤞 for 👽 Janis: bit up yourself Janis: but won't disagree Jimmy: don't sound like me, that Janis: maybe you should go back Janis: first, like Jimmy: what for? Janis: so your dad has to relocate Jimmy: might just still be about big enough for the both of us Janis: it might work Janis: if you keep doing a runner Jimmy: don't see that happening with 👶👶🐕 Janis: he'd get fed up of looking after them, right Jimmy: not leaving them with him long enough to find out Janis: okay Jimmy: or trusting Ian to work out where I'd gone even if I left a 💌 with a drawn out map Janis: he can't be that thick Jimmy: why can't he? Janis: it's impossible he's not heard what your sister wants Janis: ignoring it is another issue Jimmy: yeah Janis: anyway Jimmy: what he's too thick to work out is that she wants a person not a place Jimmy: that's how he reckons he can make it work here with his 🎁💰🐕 Janis: guess he can't give that anywhere Jimmy: he could give her her mates back who were there and know about it, instead of this bollocks where it only gets 🗨 for each new Sharon who comes about Janis: so tell her to do it Jimmy: what makes you think I can tell her to do owt Janis: it's what she wants to do, so help her do it so she doesn't fuck it up Jimmy: she's a kid, I'm not helping her piss off on her own Janis: not permanently Janis: just so he has to do something about it Jimmy: no Janis: alright Jimmy: it's not alright, what the fuck's wrong with you? Janis: she's 12, not 2 Janis: and you said she has friends, all it is is showing up on their doorstep unannounced and waiting for their parents to call Jimmy: she's my sister, not some dickhead I don't care about that I'd use to score points against him Janis: I didn't say you had to, it was just a suggestion Jimmy: leave it out Janis: I said alright Jimmy: 👍 Janis: for fuck's sake Jimmy: what? Janis: forget it Jimmy: forget what? Janis: don't be a dick Jimmy: you started it Janis: by trying to help, sure Jimmy: I never asked for it Janis: nah, 'course not Jimmy: you don't know her Jimmy: and if she got it into her head to go looking for my mum instead of pissing about at a mates for a bit, fuck knows what'd happen Janis: like it's going to be easy to convince your dad to move back when he moved for a reason Jimmy: I'm not thick, alright Jimmy: I know how decent his job here is Janis: you either want to do something about it or you don't Janis: and you clearly don't so that's what forget it means Jimmy: stop having a go at me Jimmy: you clearly don't have a fucking clue about what I do or don't want Janis: this is pointless Jimmy: yeah, it is Janis: bye then Jimmy: 👋 Janis: I'll be over the road when you want your stuff back later Jimmy: it's nowt I need back in a bit Janis: then I'll leave it there Jimmy: 👌 Janis: [what do you wanna do like after he's gone home and dealt?] Jimmy: [I'll hit you back up because I was thinking injury wise like obvs it makes sense for them all to be hidden still because Ian is probs suss of Janis so like whatever healing his ribs have done they are probably fucked again but if it's lowkey that whole side of his body his wrist and arm would be an easy one for people to maybe notice at school but not think is a big deal because people hurt them all the time by putting them out when they fall etc and he can write with his other hand anyway but because we want some #drama and none of the bruises will be !! for a couple of days he could also have a dislocated shoulder as it's painful and shock factor for her to having to pop it back in but easy enough that she could without anyone else having to be involved] Jimmy: You still over the road or what? Janis: yes Janis: do you need to come in? Jimmy: come out Janis: ok Janis: [do that quickly 'cos we've clearly just been waiting] Jimmy: [I dread to think the state of this poor boy just trying not to cry outside mcvickers gaff like hey] Janis: [we're gonna be really shocked but pretending hard not to be like okay, just trying to survey the damage 'what do you need me to do?'] Jimmy: [show her your shoulder boy like nbd just casually pop this back into place because we're lowkey in shock here hence we told her to come outside even though you're gonna have to go in because you have to do this while he's lying on a bed you can't just do it here] Janis: [just gonna lead you inside without touching you or saying anything, just gesturing like come on 'it's okay' which is the furthest thing from the truth but what else can you say rn] Jimmy: [thank god you can trust her not only to do this but to not tell anyone because what a big ask when we're literally a month in] Janis: [lowkey, thank god you have a room here too, gonna rip your top off instead of trying to get it off 'cos impossible and bunching it in a way to make a decent gag because don't need to bite through your tongue or scream the house down, letting him get ready in that much and getting on the bed but not giving him loads of warning because best way to do it] Jimmy: [last we need is Libi or mcvickers rocking up and interrupting any of this so well played gal because he is not in a headspace to be helpful rn] Janis: [at least its one of those things where it's better once it's done so that'll be some minor relief for you, still, 'sorry' though 'cos it's fucking gnarly 'wait here' and going out to the bathroom, thank god they're old and probably have some decent painkillers, have to cross that bridge later when they think you've taken 'em for fun gal] Jimmy: [if he was thinking clearly he would not have come here because you already know too much gal and more importantly isn't not fair to make you do this when you're literally supposed to get xrays and shit first but here we are and you know he's saying sorry too and also trying to stop her from leaving even though she's literally just going too the bathroom and we realistically know that] Janis: [just keep telling him it's okay over and over 'we need to get you comfortable, okay? then we'll-' trail off 'cos we don't know and we know that's gonna be a journey to get there] Jimmy: [just nod because we know she's not wrong you do need those painkillers] Janis: [get as many of them down you as is safe boy, thanks for having a decent stash guys, also bandages we're gonna try to make use of now, taking his hand gently 'do you think any of the fingers are broken?'] Jimmy: [they gonna be suss about where all this has gone you're gonna have to lie convincingly gal, but for now we're just moving all our fingers by like messing about doing the signing alphabet and stuff like cos I'm gonna let you live and say they are okay] Janis: [sigh of relief like okay, we don't need to splint any of those, checking to see if he can bend his arm and how high he can etc before settling on splinting the whole forearm and then doing a sling 'he does realize you'll probably have to take more time off school now, where's the fucking sense in that' basically to ourselves and under our breath 'cos we know it's not logical and also not really about that] Jimmy: [didn't realise when you were having all that fun fake nursing each other that it would come to this, did you lads? ugh Ian, but jimothy is just getting ready to go when she's done this like okay thanks bye as if I'm just gonna let you walk out and go back to big brother duties and whatever else you're thinking about rn sir] Janis: [putting a hand out like stop 'you can't just go back'] Jimmy: ['I can't just stay here' like you literally can boy it's okay] Janis: '[just sit down, you need to give yourself chance to catch up'] Jimmy: [when you do sit down without arguing or saying anything pisstakey and it's so unlike him that we all hate it] Janis: [sit in silent shock for a sec guys 'you know you can't let him do this again' 'you will end up in hospital'] Jimmy: ['you're acting like there's owt else I can do that I've not'] Janis: ['that isn't what I'm saying' 'this isn't working, not any more'] Jimmy: ['What then, you still want me to tell Cass to crack on making him more fuming than I ever have done, knowing what he's like?] Janis: ['has he hit her?'] Jimmy: ['not yet'] Janis: ['you're gonna have to consider possibilities you don't like, you can't live like this'] Jimmy: ['there ain't a possibility I've not, I've been living like this for ages'] Janis: ['this isn't just discipline or whatever the fuck, it's assault and he knows that, wouldn't you be better off without him?'] Jimmy: ['where do you reckon we'd go? They're not better off without me'] Janis: ['I don't know, all I know is, he gives you any more injuries, neither of you will have any say who gets involved, okay'] Jimmy: ['he's got away with it this long'] Janis: ['well he isn't now'] Jimmy: ['I didn't come here for you to have another go at me'] Janis: ['I'm not'] Jimmy: ['nobody knows fuck all about it and that's the way it's staying'] Janis: [just shrugging like okay and getting up to go 'get some sleep' Jimmy: [likewise getting up to leave and actually go home this time like okay bye] Janis: ['next time this happens, don't come to me for help, because this isn't fair' 'because I do know and I'm not going to pretend I don't again'] Jimmy: ['I shouldn't have bothered coming this time' because we know it's not fair and we're just very sad and frustrated by life obvs 'do what you like' because lord knows we would if we could] Janis: ['I'm not going to tell anyone' 'but it has nothing to do with what I like, Jesus fucking Christ'] Jimmy: ['and I'm not saying tah for you not being a massive dickhead who'd proper fuck my little brother and sister over' a shrug but we're maintaining eye contact because this is serious] Janis: ['it's not about them' because it ain't Jimmy: ['you tell anyone and they'll get chucked into care same as I would'] Janis: ['remind him of that, not me'] Jimmy: ['you don't think I have done?'] Janis: ['there are ways to make it a more serious threat'] Jimmy: [just an exhausted sigh because he's doing everything he can always and it's not enough ever] Janis: ['think about it, the last thing he wants is people knowing, yeah? well I know'] Jimmy: ['might work for a bit, til he's too fuming to be bothered and just tells himself no dickhead'll believe you or owt else he needs to'] Janis: [just looks at him like there's all the evidence needed 'not like it's being made up though'] Jimmy: ['alright, it might be enough to get him to fuck off back to the north and get us away from you, but that don't help me'] Janis: ['except he doesn't want to go back, as is very fucking obvious by now, so it'd be easier for him to stop beating the shit out of you than do that'] Jimmy: [a look like yeah obviously but that doesn't mean he will] Janis: ['it's accountability, if he keeps doing it, I could tell anyone, everyone- he clearly reckons you won't by now, he doesn't know that about me'] Jimmy: [just clearly thinking about if she did have to then follow through on that threat though and tell everyone and how much he obviously doesn't want anyone to know and all of this is just in his expression rn] Janis: [shaking our head like well there's fuck all else to say rn 'get some sleep'] Jimmy: ['stop saying that' cos clearly neither of them will be able to very easily] Janis: ['you need it to heal'] Jimmy: ['just say you want me to piss off, you've already said not to bother coming back'] Janis: ['I'm trying to fucking help you'] Jimmy: ['I know' in a purely frustrated way but then repeating it in a soft way because we do know that] Janis: ['I don't know what else you want me to do'] Jimmy: ['I never said I knew what I were doing or what you should' this boy trying not to cry again over here] Janis: ['don't' but softly 'cos we've been trying not to cry this whole convo lowkey and we don't wanna do it now] Jimmy: [doing a feelsy lean with our good side because we want to hug her but we can't] Janis: ['I mean it' and moving away so he doesn't hurt himself, but not dramatically like get away] Jimmy: [a nod because we know and we appreciate everything she has done and is trying to do more than we can put into words without crying rn ' but I shouldn't have made you do that' a look at his shoulder 'I'm a dickhead'] Janis: [shrug like it's nothing, like I'm sure you've seen dislocated shoulders but doubt you were the one putting them back in but okay 'don't mean you deserve any of this'] Jimmy: [a look like don't because we know it's not nothing and we're really sorry about this now we're thinking clearer] Janis: ['you didn't have anywhere else to go'] Jimmy: ['that don't mean it were alright to come here and do this to you'] Janis: ['I'm not the one battered and bruised, I'm fine'] Jimmy: ['I'm used to that bollocks, it's having someone be bothered about it that I can't get my head round' when you aren't used to having people care about you ever so you always feel like you're fucking it up] Janis: ['be a pretty shit person if I didn't' 'so I can see the confusion' not really the time to be salty about that but we are] Jimmy: [a lol which we then regret because ouch] Janis: [tryna be serious like 'for fuck's sake' but a lil bit 😏] Jimmy: [when you wanna kiss her so much that you've simply got to, injuries be damned] Janis: [at least your face is purposely avoided so you'll be okay but you can't go in sad times for you 'I'm sorry' 'that you think I'm having a go at you'] Jimmy: [shaking his head because he genuinely doesn't think that 'I didn't mean that it were just -' no need to finish that because she knows what you mean, we've all been put through it tonight honey and we've already admitted we've been a dickhead] Janis: [nods because yeah 'I was never saying it was easy, I don't think that'] Jimmy: [also nods because yeah 'and I weren't saying it were a shit idea'] Janis: ['I just want-' not finishing that sentence like never mind 'anyway'] Jimmy: [all the eye contact because always 'what?'] Janis: ['I just want you to be alright' mumbling and not giving more than a second of eye contact like you haven't already said ily and that you care] Jimmy: [posing to show off the amazing job she's done bandaging him up and 😁 like I am alright now as if it's that simple] Janis: [just like mhmm like that is not what I mean and you know that but we don't need to get into it rn it's okay] Jimmy: [pull her even closer to you because we do know what she means and we appreciate it] Janis: [checking him like be careful please 'I'm sleeping on the floor' it's definitely a double but we don't wanna hurt him] Jimmy: [gestures at the bed like um look how much space there is compared to what we've used to 'no need for that'] Janis: ['could make a pillow wall' like people who hate their partners do lmao] Jimmy: ['that'll be Mia at every one of them sleepovers, cracking on just like her dad taught her' shading Ella and Mia's mum in one go lol] Janis: [we have to lol 'poor els, no 'accidental' rub ups for her'] Jimmy: [goes to do the 💔 but can only do half so has to force the bae to do the other bit for us] Janis: ['so tragic' and lowkey forcing him to get situated properly in this bed as comfortably as possible 'what are you gonna say happened then?' 'cos can't hide for the whole time it'd take to heal] Jimmy: ['weren't planning to do a q&a about it' cos he's honestly not thought about it yet with everything else he has been thinking about 'don't matter as long as nobody reckons you smacked me about'] Janis: [a look like who is going to think that? then rolling our eyes 'cos is the type of thing Mia would try to say lol 'well no one is going to think you got it playing a sport' cheeky bit of shade as we are looking in the wardrobe and under the bed for something] Jimmy: [chucking a pillow at her for the shade like oi 'I'll say I fell over or some bollocks, worked for my mum'] Janis: [making a noise like psh but we're not throwing that back 'you tryna prove you have aim? alright, I believe you' and coming back with the pillow and the sleeping bag we've retrieved to sleep in so we're not rolling all over] Jimmy: [a look like you know how good my aim is because any excuse to be saucy about anything especially when we're so upset about this whole sleeping situation but trying to downplay it] Janis: ['thank god you're ambidextrous' meant to be taking the piss out of him but it just sounds thirsty so we're loling] Jimmy: [😏 'you'll have to tweet that so the fans know'] Janis: ['the offers to fill in whilst you're injured would probably be a lot'] Jimmy: [😒 because we don't wanna think about that 'won't be a slaggy nurse's outfit left in this shithole once they've heard' because also true] Janis: [likewise 'gross' and shaking our head 'there's nothing sexy about hospital'] Jimmy: [a fed up sigh 'I can't be bothered with this' like it's an option to just not be injured, soz boy] Janis: [squeeze his non-injured hand like I know 'it'll be alright, we'll work it out'] Jimmy: ['can we not just fake going away like we were gonna do at new year's?' probably not boy but it's a nice thought] Janis: ['it'd be easier to actually go away' but a tone that's saying, that's how long it'd need to be, not suggesting it] Jimmy: ['let's do that then' as if that's remotely plausible in any way] Janis: ['are you concussed as well?' and moving our fingers about in front of him like follow but 😏 'cos we don't think he actually is obvs or we wouldn't be joking] Jimmy: [takes her hand and turns it into a 👍 like she's agreeing to his great idea 'wouldn't even have to be for that long' because we know he's not gonna do the 2 weeks off that you're meant to when you dislocate your shoulder because he never does what he's supposed to] Janis: ['where are we going then?' as we lay down ourselves] Jimmy: ['where do you wanna go?'] Janis: ['don't care' because we don't 'what about you?@'] Jimmy: ['what makes you think I care?' because likewise we don't] Janis: ['then just not here it is' turning to face him in our little sleeping bag 'assuming the pain pills don't wear off and you change your mind'] Jimmy: [a genuine smile at the prospect of getting to leave for a bit together even hypothetically tbh 'when they wear off you might change yours' and doing a 😒 af face] Janis: ['this is you being a delight, yeah?' and do a feelsy lean assuming we're sleeping on his good side 'cos makes sense] Jimmy: ['that were me doing an impression of you remembering what a nightmare I were last time we went away' because that skerries domestic when she tried to get him to sleep in a bed we all remember those joys] Janis: ['bit rude' like how dare you insinuated I'm ever grumpy lollolollll 'you'll be less trouble now you're fucked up' but a sad sigh 'cos its not funny though we're trying] Jimmy: [taking her hand again so you can write soz on it playfully but then just properly hold it because we heard that sad sigh and we are really soz in our heart] Janis: [doing the 👌 symbol which is probs hard to follow so then just doing a 💕 like] Jimmy: [doing an irl 🤝 because best friends forever] Janis: [then tucking him in like go to sleep nerd 'it'll be better in the morning'] Jimmy: [goes to say something because it won't be but we're deciding against it so she doesn't sad sigh again and closing our eyes instead] Janis: [gently lean over and kiss both his eyes] Jimmy: [not opening our eyes or anything but 'I really fucking like you' with feeling because he do] Janis: [got to kiss you on the lips with as much feeling 'cos we cannot trust ourselves to say anything rn] Jimmy: [have a moment because it's been a very dramatic night]

[yellowsugarwords]

I made out w my bestfriend's crush at a party w out knowing she liked him I feel so bad, even though she says it's okay, I know she's hurting. Apparently they had been flirting back and forth for a month or so but I promise you I had no idea at all (I had literally never met him) I tried to cut him off so that I dont make things worse and I've apologized to her endlessly. I just wanna make this better because I'm scared of losing my bestie over some stupid guy What do you think?

Oh no!! First of all anon, I’m sorry this is all very sucky to deal with :(

I think it’s important for you to acknowledge that you feeling guilty is a sign that you aren’t a bad person. You care about other people - and of course you care about your best friend - and I want you to know that. You aren’t a bad person.

I also think it’s important for you to realize that you didn’t know. You didn’t know this was your best friends crush, you didn’t know they had been flirting. You had zero idea. Truthfully, I think if anything, both of you should be mad at this guy for leading on one girl and then making out with someone else, regardless if he knew that you two were best friends or not. Both of you got played by this guy, we need to place the blame where it’s due: men.

Okay I’m kidding but you know what I mean.

I think as long as you and your best friend are vocal and honest and talk about this with each other, you’ll be fine. Because it really isn’t your fault and it isn’t hers either. Blame the man that played you both, not yourselves for getting played.

Love you both. DM me or send me an ask if I can help at all. I have your back (and your best friends!) ❤️

[dykedykegooses]

i'm askin u every single even numbered question for the lesbian ask game

at least you didnt bother with the algebra this time, for which i am thankful

Femme or butch?

i’m more femme but i try to act butch sometimes and i just end up failing hopelessly. ‘look mom i know how to put air in a tire!!’ ‘peyton thats like… not even right’ or ‘oh SHIT look at that blitz!! that was cool’ ��peyton that was a sack’ ‘oh’

Do you have a “type”? If so, describe it

not really, mostly just like… humor. if u funny we click

Plaid button-ups or leather jackets?

why not both?

no but seriously plaid tbh

Describe your style

um yes

converse, (ripped? sometimes) jeans, and whatever top i feel is appropriate for the Big Aesthetic today

Describe your aesthetic

yes

ive tried going more punk but its just kinda , not worked

my physical aesthetic is very adultolescent. i got chub and look like a freshman but ive been told i pass as a college senior so like

my Big Mood aesthetic is yes

Favorite article of clothing?

either my converse or my “”combat boots”” (theyre not and it makes me sound like an edgelord just saying that) (can you tell im gay)

OH WAIT I FORGOT ABOUT MY JEAN JACKET its like baggy and light and ive started sewing patches from my favorite bands on it (super punk right)

Favorite pair of shoes?

^^^

oh my black strappy heels, theyre surprisingly comfortable

Current haircut?

ive got a bleached bob rn

Any haircut goals for the future?

i kinda want a pixie cut bc i cant handle long hair however long hair is so PRETTY and wow

Describe the best date you’ve been on

iiiiiiiiii dont really know. ive been on very few. i have a Perfect Date in mind, and i guess my favorite was my first date with my ex. we had gotten back from a successful science competition (HAVE I MADE IT OBVIOUS IM A NERD YET IM A BIG OL NERD) and it was like midnight by the time we got back and we were both starving so we went to taco bell and just sat there talking and laughing and i know we were pissing off the staff, but we stayed til like two in the morning and we went home and honestly we both considered it a date but we didnt like… tell each other it was a date? if that makes sense? idk honestly im triggered

Describe the worst date you’ve been on

ugh oh god i went on a tinder date and this girl like in the DMs was like ‘hey do u smoke weed’ and im like ‘lol no’ and then like we made plans to meet up at a coffee shop and she asks me AGAIN if i smoke weed and im like……………. no and shes like ‘oh right lol’ well THIS BITCH sleeps through the time we were supposed to meet, completely stands me up, and then texts me back like an hour later and was like ‘omg im sorry i overslept!!!’ and it was like….. noon but ok so we meet up after my class and we just sit there really awkwardly trying to make conversation and she asks me AGAIN if i smoke weed im like ‘honey no i dont’ and we just talked about drugs for a while and when i left because i had to gtfo she like gave me an awkward hug and like i sent a text later that night bc im courteous and im like ‘hey i had a great time today’ (i didnt) ‘lmk if you ever want to meet up again!!’ and she just. ignored me lol.

Single? Taken?

im currently in a polyamorous relationship with myself and my anxiety

If taken, talk about your girlfriend/wife!

:)

If single, what are you looking for in a potential girlfriend/wife?

someone who’s able to make me laugh and deal with my bad ideas and will let me cook for her and wants to travel the world with me

Describe your dream wedding

its small. outside. maybe in a field or in front of a lake. i dont personally want a big ballgown, just a short white dress will do. lavenders everywhere. R A I N B O W  C A K E. reception where we slow dance to all the sappy romance songs. its great.

Do you want kids?

not really, but ive considered being a foster parent. i feel like im here to do good; i don’t want to have my own biological children, and im not sure i want to have the permanent responsibility of adopting a kid, but i feel i could handle fostering once we’re financially stable and have the room to accept children into our home.

If you could live anywhere in the world, where would you live?

spain, definitely. somewhere in the north. i want to have a small farm with goats and chickens and vegetables and i want to be away from this american mess.

Favorite lesbian movie?

well ysee…………. the only two explicitly lesbian movies ive seen have been ‘all about E’ and ‘blue is the warmest color’ and i didnt like either of the lmfaoooo i prefer watching lesbian television shows tbqh (or, most commonly, just rewriting all the female characters in my head to be sapphic sooooooo dont @ me)

Favorite lesbian novel/story?

i mean same as above, i dont read as much as i like to. however, i did read “georgia peaches and other forbidden fruit” and that was Really Good and i did read another that was slightly better, but i forget the name but it was about a pakistani (?) girl who was struggling to come out to her parents bc they were very traditionalist but she joins the theater and her like really elite school and the girl she had a crush on basically outs her and is a bitch about it and GOD i wish i could remember it because it was really good

Favorite lesbian song?

ummmmmmmmmmmm i just recently listened to ‘honey’ by kehlani and that was pretty good and pretty gay, but my personal favorite is ‘girls’ by beatrice eli bc holy shit what a Mood

Favorite lesbian musician?

i love mary lambert and beatrice eli.

What lesbian stereotypes do you fit into, if any?

ummmmm now that im thinking of them i cant think of any. i used to play softball and soccer? i love cats. i immediately start planning out the next five years of our lives together anytime im remotely interested in a girl?

Ever been assumed to be nothing more than a gal pal?

i mean………………. no

If a woman wanted to woo you, what would a surefire way to accomplish that?

well bake cookies w me and lets go for a walk & go out and watch the stars at night in the bed of a truck

Be positive! What do you like most about being a lesbian?

I LOVE LOVING GIRLS!!!!!! I LOVE EVERYTHING ABOUT BEING A LESBIAN!!!!!! GIRLS ARE FANTASTIC!!!!!!!! WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!!!!!

Are you more of a cat person or a dog person?

why not both

idk ive never had a cat but i know i lov them

Turn ons?

i.......... dont know

yes

im gay

Turn offs?

long nails youch theyre pretty to look at but i mean at what price

not having anything to talk about

putting yourself down like a lot (i went on a date w this one girl and that was all she did like the entire date like......... im sorry ? :(???)

Do you usually ask other women out or do you wait for them to ask you?

if im being honest i would love for someone to ask me out but since that is Very Unlikely, i tend to be the one to message first and initiate dates and stuff

What is your dream career?

i want to be a psychological researcher in the field of social comparative psychology how sick is that!!!!! just play with dogs all day and record whether or not they boop their noses on a screen

also i wanna be a farmer and a bookstore owner but thats Farther down the line like , when im 50

Talk about your interests or hobbies!

im honestly such a psych nerd i love psychology what the fuck!! its so interesting like ppl are weird man idk brains are weird

im also having a really big green day phase like billie .. he so smol... and also anyone who wants to bash warning or the trilogy can fight me ok those are like My Favorite Albums

im going to a concert in february to see declan mckenna, a Giant Meme

im getting a tattoo w some lyrics of declan’s actually its gonna be sick

What is the most attractive quality a woman can have?

yes

idk for me its being able to have quick, witty, skillful jokes i just love listening to girls talk and tell stories and jokes like wow im gay

also long curly hair? thats always a Solid Look

Do you love easily or does it take time for you to warm up to someone?

i mean. do we really wanna open this can of worms rn

too late, its open

i get those microcrushes where you like see a girl and youre like ‘WOW IM GAY DATE ME’ however once it comes to actually being in a relationship i throw my full weight behind it and worry that im being too suffocating or that im pushing my boundaries etc and ive been told that makes me come off really cold and uncaring so lol choose ur own adventure, you decide

Ever fallen for your best-friend?

unfortunately

Ever fallen for a straight girl?

can you even call yourself a lesbian if you havent

The L-Word: yes or no? (love it or hate it?)

i havent seen it, im such a fake lesbian

Favorite comfort food?

mac n cheese

or pizza

or cheesy potatos

OR CHEESY TOAST

scientific conclusion: im a fatass

Coffee or tea?

coffer

Vegetarian? Vegan? None of the above?

im vegetarian!! have been on and off for like two years now

Do you have any pets?

i have one pup sittin right next to me and shes the prettiest girl in the world

Early-riser or night-owl?

yes

idk i get up at like 9 which is early for me but not as early as like. 5. so

more like night-owl. thanks teenage hormones!

What is your sign?

pisces

Can you drive?

yes

can i drive well?

no

but i do have a sense of direction so thats cool

Who was your first lesbian crush?

tbh.................... my best friend, but i didnt realize it was a crush at the time

the first Gay Crush i had that i knew was a crush was on my close friend at the time, now my ex girlfriend

At what age did you know you were a lesbian?

uhhhhhhhhhh lesbian specifically, like 15-16. queer, i knew in like fall semester freshman year (so like 13??)

At what age did you come out (if you have)?

i mean, i come out to people all the time. first time i came out explicitly as a lesbian was when i was like 15 or 16 (actually i came out to a close straight friend and my ex and they both said ‘congrats’ like it was weird but very nice) and the first time i came out as queer/questioning was to my then-best friend at like 13 and i came out to my mom (involuntarily) at like 17? ish?

Are you crushing on anyone at the moment (celebrity or otherwise)?

yes im crushing on every girl simultaneously at all times

just kidding

(not really)

i dont really have any explicit crushes that i can think of im just really gay

Talk about how your day went

it was fine. got free froyo so that was cool. found out i made an A on my bio practical, so that was cool too. however, i wore a crop top and it was like 55 degrees out and raining so i looked like a total Idiot but yk follow ur slutty gay dreams amiright ladies

Talk about your dreams/aspirations for the future

most of mine are career-centric, but a few are personal.

i wanna go to costa rica in may, i wanna go to yale over the summer, i wanna go to NYC pride in june, i wanna go to spain after i graduate, i wanna go to grad school, i wanna be a psychological researcher, i wanna move to spain or england or hell even france, i wanna have my own farm with the woman i love, i wanna own an LGBT bookstore/library, i wanna just live a quiet life near the sea and not have to worry so much after a while.

Least favorite gay celebrity?

this is a weird one to end on, but iiiiiiim not sure i have one? i can tell you ellen page is probably my favorite, but i cant think of many i dislike so

[unpromblematicpimpcess]

attempt at expressing my feelings #4

On the outside, I'm doing fine. Everything is ok and nothing is wrong. Oh, but on the inside, a bitch is fucking drowning. Homework is stressing me out, I’m having problems getting my AA finished and drowning in paperwork and documents that are required for my next college. And did I fail to mention that the relationship with my parents is still terrible, my mental health right now is on the rocks, and my room and clothes are a huge fucking mess. Oh, and to put the icing on the motherfucking layer cake, my best friend isn't speaking to me. THE MAIN PERSON THAT I FUCKING NEED RIGHT NOW TO KEEP ME AFLOAT ISNT SPEAKING TO ME!!! I want us to be able to work this shit out but only if the other person is ready and will to talk. But if I do talk will he listen. I already don't know how to convey my emotions to someone through text or over the phone without it looking or sounding dumb asf. I wanna wait but Aries got me waiting to be hella fucking impulsive and just text his ass. Wait I can’t blame Aries. This mans over here post music that basically relates to our situation on Instagram but the DMs is another slide away. I need him to understand that I am hurting just as bad or maybe even worse than he is because he actually has a way to cope with his inconveniences and I don't (not yet anyway). I really hope that this “us not speaking to each other” shit is temporary because this is ridiculous. Shit, I can't talk about his on Instagram when my ass is typing out my feelings on Tumblr where he can’t see. This man saved and changed my life in May 2018 but at this point will I be able to tell him that shit. Everything reminds me of him shit my wallpaper and computer screensaver is rotating pictures of me and him. Every time I sleep, I see myself laying on his chest just watching it go up and down with every breathe he takes or I see things that are a bit more rated M for mature to tell but yeah. I wanna find a rock and disappear under it for a few months because at this point what is like any more?

A fucking joke...