#e gadd loves coffee

[lore-of-the-mushroom-kingdom]

Professor E. Gadd Loves Coffee

A little fact about Professor E. Gadd is he loves coffee.

This is seen in Mario & Luigi: Superstar Saga through the Starbean Cafe which he created an likes getting samples of new coffee blends. His love of Coffee actually resulted in the creation of Gooigi which he is partially made of.

[weirdmarioenemies]

Name: Gooigi (again)

Debut: Luigi's Mansion (3DS)

When I was playing Luigi's Mansion 3 for the first time, I was thinking, "I sure love Gooigi. I wish I could write a Weird Mario Enemies post on him, but we already have one..." but I now realize! That post was written before the release of 3! We had no idea! No idea.

Who is the Mario character with the most fleshed-out backstory? Is it Mario, with his monolithic catalogue of media appearances? No, the insight we get into his past is simplistic at most. Is it Rosalina, with her beloved storybook? She comes close, I will admit, but there is someone who comes closer! Can you guess who it is? Can you guess the character I am hyping up in the post with a big image of Gooigi at its forefront? Yes, you can! It's Gooigi.

Indeed, Gooigi has seven entire pages of lore from the official website, written from the perspective of E. Gadd himself, explaining his origins, how he does what he does, WHY he does what he does, everything! You can read it here, and I'm not going to waste time repeating what was already said. I will just paraphrase: Goo is made from coffee mixed with ghost energy. Gooigi is the result of Luigi's digital data being zapped into it for a default form. Gooigi was sent back in time to Luigi's Mansion 1 for training and research purposes, and is now stored in a canister in the Poltergust G-00.

Got it? Good. Here is Baby Gooigi. How precious! Back before he had any Luigi in him at all. This is Goo in a human-shaped mold, and you may notice the mold itself has no face. Baby Gooigi learned how to express agony all on his own! It's no wonder they took a photo of this milestone!

Now with Super Mario Bros. Wonder, we have TWO gelatinous Luigis to choose from. And why not both? Gooigi is a separate entity, so Gooigi and Wubba Luigi can coexist! But not always... when playing Luigi's Mansion 3 single player, Luigi and Gooigi must be controlled separately. Luigi is able to will his consciousness into the doppelgangreener to control its movements, and it's here that it gets extra weird! Weird to the point that this game basically has multiple possible continuities?

Gooigi is NOT scared of ghosts, at all! He is an anomaly to them! This is very much "distinct character" behavior. But how is this the case if Luigi wills his soul into Gooigi? Well, both concepts are kind of true at the same time! As we can see here, cutscenes will actually change depending on if the game is in single-player or co-op play, portraying different events! Really really weird! It's like if Schroedinger's Cat was a pair of funny green men, one with bones and organs, and one translucent. So what is the truth...? (Spoilers for Luigi's Mansion 3 ahead...)

In the ending, even in single-player mode, Gooigi is portrayed as his own sentient character! Even though this contradicts the "consciousness transfer" lore, I think this is the "true" intention for him. It's much more fun and less awkward if he can be active at the same time as Luigi! I also don’t think they care that much about minor gameplay features being lore-compliant, since Polterpup got pupils in the end of the second game, and those were removed in 3 without explanation.

Unfortunately, as the hotel crumbles after King Boo's defeat, Gooigi falls from the top floor and dies.

He even says "bye-bye" before the fall. I can't believe this. How could Nintendo allow something so upsetting? They thought it was okay to let Gooigi say "bye-bye" rather than "goo-dbye"? That has "goo" in it! It would have been perfect. (I am not actually upset by this at all and "bye-bye" is more in character)

After splattering on the pavement he reforms, because duh. He's goo. You can test this for yourself! Scoop a glob of mayonnaise out of the jar with your hand. Next, travel to the top of a skyscraper. Finally, drop the mayonnaise off of the side! When it hits the ground, it will not have died. Science Fact!

As silly it may be, I was a bit worried Gooigi might die for real, even though that wouldn't make any sense to happen. I was just thinking of modern Paper Mario, introducing new buddies only to take them away by the end. But I should have known that Luigi's Mansion is not at all like that! This is the series where they gave Luigi a dog, and that was that. We don't see Polterpup as often as we should, but it cannot be argued! Luigi has a dog. What would stop them from keeping Gooigi around? Nothing, that's what! He stays with E. Gadd, and is not going anywhere!

Just like Polterpup, I would love to see Gooigi more, though. I would love for him to be Luigi's answer to Metal Mario! Gooigi driving a kart! I don't care that he dies in water, and I don't think Nintendo would care too much either. I would like to leave you off with The Big Question. This is a new, distinct character, who is "genetically" similar to Luigi. As such.

[noelledeltarune]

gooigi rant?? pls. i love the goo-ber

ok this is another case where i don't really have that much of substance to say but literally gooigi is so fucked up to me. like e gadd's research journal actually makes me kind of upset 💀💀. i know he has very little canon character but i am very endeared to gooigi and so just knowing about e. gadd's research journal kind of fucks me up :-(

like literally you read it and one of the first things said about goo is that its like. sentient to some extent. even as a blob. and it's capable of reacting to stimulus. when water is poured on it it actively like. moves away from the water to avoid melting. it can hear and will follow music being played.

so you see that and then it's like oh ok cool this thing is alive. sick. and so then there's the whole shebang with the using stolen dna thing to give gooigi like his actual physical form. and it's like oh okay cool so you've made a guy. that's a guy now. you made a person. 👍

and so then it's like the. weaknesses testing and stuff.

which like ok. whatever. sure. see like idk if gooigi just doesnt really care about the whole getting experimented on and hit with giant hammers and melted and set on fire thing so i'll also just say that's whatever. but like idk it kinda fucks me up in general just because of the last part LOL like

was this really necessary :-( like think with me. imagine you made a guy. you accidentally spilled coffee on some of the samples you were studying and it came to life and you so made a guy.

this guy is sentient. reacts to stimuli. can definitely act independently because you cannot play as gooigi in 1p mode in the luigi's mansion 3ds port.

so like this is the main point of the post because it just messes me up soooo baddddd like i have never ever imagined gooigi as a tool even playing lm3 in 1p mode just because of the way that he like. is a separate guy from luigi. not really questionably. like when you collect something as one the other will still react (even if you're only controlling luigi while gooigi is out of the tank, gooigi'll give a little thumbsup yknow). the several cutscenes where gooigi just acts on his own independently of luigi like right after you beat king boo + the ending + several of the credits photos if my memory serves correctly. that's a guy. so hearing e gadd be like "oh man this person i made has his own thoughts and feelings and doesnt listen to me sometimes. i think i will possess him." is just like. was that really the only option. did you HAVE to do that.

like i'm sorry this is becoming just mainly pictures but 😭😭 wow so crazy how embedding a chip in someone to control them will stop them from acting independently and doing what they would normally do if they could control their actions... and like the fact he landed on POSSESSION of all things as the best way to control gooigi like 😭😭 this kinda shit's always happening to guys who's names end in uigi

also like kind of unrelated but can you imagine being luigi and finding out about this? like "wow you used my dna to make a guy and then spent hours of rigorous testing trying to and eventually succeeding in quashing his free will so you could possess it to hunt ghosts? thats nice" he doesnt actually know about this as far as i'm aware but it's the principal of the thing :-( i feel like it would upset him

ANYWAYS point is i like gooigi and always imagined him as like being his own character so the research journal fucks me up a little 💀 top ten moments that really cement e gadd's status as a fucked up scientist.

in general to me i feel like he definitely got meaner over the years :-( which makes me kind of sad because in lm1 his main goal definitely seemed to be like..helping luigi LOL. like he saved his life and seemed genuinely concerned when he found out about mario being a real man who has since been captured. and he helped luigi to get mario back without it feeling necessarily like his primary goal was in his own self interest. but a lot of his dialogue just feels really mean in dark moon and lm3 goes like almost the opposite way. this section in particular always stood out to me as feeling out of character compared to him in the original

and like i could be wrong about dark moon because i've never played it but just like reading the dialogue on the wiki was like 😬😬 he was SOOO mean to luigi like

reading half of these was just like man if i were him i would have cried i'm serious 😭

and this is of course not to say that i hate e gadd in general but i will admit to not really liking him much after dark moon

[anomander-dragnipurake]

Fake Tree

Gooigi watched in silence as Mario and Luigi put up a tree in the middle of the living room as jovial music played on the stereo on the coffee table. The tree had come out of a box and was in a bunch of separate pieces meaning it had to be fake. But why put up a fake tree in the living room? It was odd but whatever; it had nothing to do with Gooigi and thus it wasn’t something they needed to concern themself with.

As soon as the tree was fully put together, its fake branches spread out to better hide the parts that gave away its falsehood, Mario opened up the other box he brought in from his car and pulled out a tangled green string with little things running all along it. Upon untangling it, the two of them started neatly wrapping it around the fake tree. It was long enough to wrap around twice before only the part with the plug was left. Luigi plugged it in and…

Oh! The little things on the green string were tiny coloured lightbulbs. Their purpose was unclear, they weren’t bright enough to illuminate the living room much and they clearly wouldn’t be any good for hunting ghosts, but they were nice to look at. Which was maybe the whole point of this tree, it was just another decoration. Mario had said he’d brought it over from his house because Luigi’s place was bigger than his so it ‘makes more sense to have Xmas here this year’. So maybe this Xmas thing was related to decorations too.

“Hey Gooigi, now that the hard part is done, you want to help decorate the tree instead of just standing there watching?” Luigi asked as he pulled something else out of the string of lights box to hold towards Gooigi as if he expected them to take it.

They approached to accept it. It was a round blue bauble with a little thing on top and a string making a loop. … Mario was already hanging something similar on the tree’s branches. Luigi pulled another out of the box to do so as well. With a shrug Gooigi followed suit.

Turns out there was more than just colourful baubles in the box. There were also an assortment of little figurines and plushies designed to be hung onto the branches of the fake tree. None of it seemed to have any purpose beyond looking nice. If any ghosts showed up though it would provide them with plenty of things to toss. Some of the baubles were made of glass too and broken glass was dangerous to Luigi and Mario so having so much of this stuff around was probably not the best idea. But the only ghost that frequented the mansion was Polterpup and he was a good boy so it would probably be okay.

“… invite E. Gadd,” Luigi was saying, pulling Gooigi’s attention back to the conversation he was having with Mario. Which had something to do with a party they were planning. None of Gooigi’s business, they’d been too focused on placing the baubles snugly on the tree in an attempt to make them harder to pull off in case a ghost who wanted to use them as weapons did show up to pay much attention to the conversation. E. Gadd however was their business. “I don’t know if he’ll come though. He might be too busy or not like parties. Not that it’s really going to be much of a party with me as host.”

“Nah, it’ll be great,” Mario said. “And I’m sure E. Gadd will show up even if it ain’t for long. But the real question is are you going to invite Peasley, Daisy, or both?”

“Uh… how about neither? They both live pretty far away, I’m not going to ask them to drive all the way down here on Xmas to only spend a few hours before going home again.”

“Ah but bro, it doesn’t have to be just a few hours. Xmas is the perfect time to confess your feelings, it’s when me and Peach finally got together, remember? And I heard poly relationships are super common in the Beanbean Kingdom so if they’re both all right with it you could…”

“No, no, no,” Luigi interrupted. “They’re both way out of my league, I can’t… do that, especially on Xmas.”

The conversation continued, Mario teasing Luigi and Luigi getting increasingly flustered, but Gooigi stopped paying full attention because they didn’t know who or what they were talking about. They knew Luigi talked to Daisy and Peasley online occasionally but that’s about it. Getting a chance to meet one or both of the would be nice though probably.

By the time all the baubles had been placed on the tree, Mario had dropped the topic at Luigi’s insistence that he didn’t want to talk about it right now but would consider it. There was only one thing left in the box, a big sparkly star that presumably was designed to go on the tree as well.

“I think Gooigi should put it on,” Mario said, holding it towards them. “It’s their first Xmas after all.”

Gooigi accepted it. Where was it supposed to go on the tree though? It was clearly special so it probably had a special place it was supposed to go. The top maybe? Or the center?

“Oh!” Luigi said. “It is their first Xmas, huh? I uh… hadn’t realized that.”

“You mean you didn’t even explain them what we’re doing or why?”

“Uh… nope. This is probably pretty confusing for you, huh?”

Gooigi shrugged. It didn’t make sense but lots of things didn’t make sense. “Xmas?” An explanation would be welcome though as well as instructions on where to put the star.

“Uh hmmm…” Luigi said. “Xmas is a holiday where people who love each other, friends, family, etc. exchange gifts and spend time together. This is an Xmas tree,” he gestured towards the fake tree, “we put it up because well it’s tradition. It’s on the 25th and is like a whole big grand event as you’ll soon see I’m sure. But it’s fun.”

“Gifts?” If the holiday was about exchanging gifts, that meant they’d have to find something to give to Luigi, Mario, E. Gadd, and Polterpup.

“Yep,” Mario replied. “That’s what the holiday is about. We’re not allowed to tell you what we’re going to get you though, it has to be secret until the day of, okay?”

“Okay.” Gooigi would find gifts and then keep them secret until the big day. “Now star?” They held up the star. Some of the glitter on it had rubbed off and sunk into their hands, making them sparkly.

“Oh, that goes on top,” Luigi said.

Gooigi nodded before stepping close to reach up and put the star on top. They then stepped back to examine the tree as a whole. The star on top definitely seemed to complete it.

“Now to get more lights to decorate the whole mansion, inside and out,” Mario said with an excited flourish. “You should get a big wreath to put on the door too.”

“Uh… maybe but I don’t know about the lights,” Luigi replied. “Some more would be nice sure but… enough for the whole mansion? That’s a lot.”

“Look bro, I’m not letting you skip out on taking advantage of all this space for another year in a row. You’re decorating big time this year. I’ll help and so will Gooigi and it’s their first Xmas so you have to make it special for them unless you want their first Xmas to boring.”

“Well uh… I guess you have a point.”

“Good, now let’s go to the store. On the way there Gooigi, we’ll tell you more about Xmas and all it’s traditions and stuff. And you can help us pick out decorations too of course. It’ll be lots of fun.”

That certainly sounded like fun so they’d gladly go. Maybe there would even be a ghost or two to hunt.

[dark-flamin-new-light]

What if I saved the world from the "LOVE" Infection?

*Just so you know I am using a lot of characters and my own, so all characters go to their respectful owners.*

"I don't know who started to get infected by it, but I do know who started spreading it, and how I ended it. The first person was Crystal"

Crystal: Taria give me a hug!

Taria: Of course.

"10 hours later"

Taria, Sonia, Crystal: Hugs Tarius. Hugs!

Tarius: Alright.

"E Gadd busts through the door"

E Gadd: No Tarius don't!

Tarius: Why?

E Gadd: They have infected by some kind of love sickness.

Tarius: Are you serious?

E Gadd: Follow me!

Tarius: Ok.

"2 hours later about 15 more people got infected"

E Gadd: It appears your female counterpart was the first infected.

Tarius: Who else got infected?

E Gadd: The people I know.

Tarius: Mario and Luigi?

E Gadd: Yes.

Tarius: Peach and Daisy?

E Gadd: Mmm hmm. It's not just mine and your world that's getting infected. There are other worlds combining into one and they are getting infected as we speak.

Tarius: How can we stop it?

E Gadd: I have finished working on a project that should take away this "Love Infection".

Tarius: Where can I find it?

E Gadd: Near the ocean. Big antenna. Can't miss it. Need to pull the red switch. It will take an hour to charge and to fix this infection.

"Steven, Rose, Enid, Wilhamena, Tari, and Meggy bust through the door and tackles E Gadd."

Tarius: E Gadd!

E Gadd: Remember what I said!

"Then E Gadd gets infected. I get out of there. Attempt to get to the ocean. But a huge ice wall was blocking my path."

Mei: Don't you want a hug?

Tarius: Sorry I'm busy.

"I say as I slowly step back bumping into KO's mom Carol"

Tarius: Oh! I'm very sorry.

Carol: It's ok.

"I had to take a 4 HOUR DETOUR thanks to Mei. After 2 hours I had to rest for a bit but did I rest for too long?"

Emma: Are you still tired?

Jane: I can hug you while you sleep.

Lucy: I can put you to sleep.

Berecca: I can make something so you can sleep.

Tarius: Thank you but I'm fine now. *Quietly* What I wouldn't give for coffee.

Berecca: Here you go!

Tarius: Thank you.

"Since I was still recovering from my sleep I wasn't paying attention to make sure Berecca didn't do anything to it."

Tarius: I feel funny....

Berecca: It's working!

"As expected, Berecca put so kind of love effect in this coffee"

Tarius: (Got to get out of here!)

"I made a run for it before the effects really started to kick in. Only one more hour of detour to go. I rested one more time. My head was resting on something soft. It felt so comfortable, I didn't want to get up. But I did to see Mei."

Tarius: Ahh!

Mei: It's ok. Relax. One more hour of rest.

Tarius: But I'm fine...

Mei: Please?

"As much as I want to deny I couldn't say no. Not to Mei. 1 hour later."

Mei: Wake up Tarius.

"I woke up to seeing Mei again.

Tarius: Mei?

Mei: Time to go.

Tarius: Ok.

"Out of the ones who were infected, Mei was acting the strangest. 15 more minutes of detour remains. I saw the end of the ice wall Mei put up. Now it's another 4 hours to get to the antenna. 2 hours later..."

Enid: There you are!

Tarius: Uh oh.

Wilhamena: Time for your hugs!

Tarius: *Gulps*

"I booked it. 1.45 hours later..."

Tarius: Almost there...

"I collapsed after booking it from Wilhamena and Enid I wake up at night to a unknown figure. I couldn't make it out. It was obviously a female, who wore a hoodie similar to Red riding hood."

Tarius: Wait a minute... Ruby?

Ruby: Yep.

"I gave Ruby a kiss to thank her"

Tarius: Thank you. Now I got to save the world.

Ruby: *Lovestruck after the kiss*

"I made it. I locked the door behind me hopefully buying me time to hit the switch. I was proven wrong after they busted through the door."

Everyone: Give us a hug!

Meggy: Hugs?

Tari: May I have a hug please?

Rose: There's no need to be shy.

Wilhamena: Hugs!

Enid: Come here!

Finn: I... Need.... Hugs!

Marceline: Momma needs some loving!

Blake: It's ok, let me pounce you and make your worry's go away.

Ruby: I want to return the favor after you kissed me.... With a hug and a kiss!

Steven: We won't hurt you.

Mario: Come here and give me a hug.

Luigi: I could use a hug too.

Futaba: I could steal your heart, but I just want a quick hug.

Ann: So do I.

Yang: You kissed my sister? I want a hug and a kiss!

Berecca: May I have a hug?

Emma: Please?

Jane: *With heart shaped pupils* You're very cool. *Opens arms for a hug*

Lucy: You won't regret it.

Mei: *Blocks the door with ice wall* Now you can't get out.

Ren(Joker): Let me steal your heart, with a hug.

Valerie Harmon: We can learn so much together!

"I was scared..... I ran for the switch, they were faster than me. Eventually I made it to the switch and hit it. As soon as I turned around, Rose, Tari, Meggy, Valerie, Jane, and Ruby was right in front of me. As Rose Universe closed in for a hug and a kiss, my heart started pounding. Ruby and Tari came at me from the left, Meggy and Jane from the right, Valerie and Emma from the bottom left, Futaba, Ren, and Mei from the bottom right. Mario, Luigi, and Yang from behind."

Rose: Time for your worry's to go away.

Ruby: Time to return the kiss.

Tari: Time for my hug.

Meggy: Time to let go.

Yang: Time to get my kiss!

Futaba and Ren: Time to steal your heart.

Mei: Time to love me.

Valerie Harmon: Time to show me affection.

Jane: Time to show me your skills.

Emma: Time show you how much I love you.

Mario: Time to go!

Luigi: Time to get ready!

Tarius: "Why isn't it working? Wait...."

"Earlier"

E Gadd: It will take an hour to charge and fix this infection.

Tarius: "Oh man an hour!? I would be fine with that if they weren't already here!"

"As I thought that Rose grabs me and brings me to a comfortable couch. I sit nearby her. I looked up at her, She has the biggest lips I have seen!"

Tarius: "Oh my gosh"

"Rose has kissed me while hugging me. I tried to hang in there, but she was so soft. My eyes were closing. It was over I failed... Or so I thought. Everyone who I was caught in that building with was cured. I was in my room with Rose, Wilhamena, Ren, Futaba, Jane, Emma, Mario, Luigi, Valerie and Ruby."

Rose: Tarius? Tarius?

Tarius: Mother?

Rose: Not your mother. I'm Rose.

Tarius: Oh, what happened?

Rose: You saved all of us when we needed help.

Tarius: I'm glad you are all ok.

"Ruby gave me a kiss"

Ruby: *Giggles* I didn't forget about that kiss you gave me.

Tarius: Heh.

[maggotsandcream]

You know, I've been obsessing over Luigi's Mansion lore and fan stuff for awhile now and I still don't know which phenomenon weirds me out more: the sheer number of times I've run across people asking what Gooigi would taste like or the fact that Nintendo felt the need to give a canonical answer to that question (he's coffee flavored).

Like, they don't give canon answers to far more relevant and classic questions like "Is Mario their last name?", "When goombas and other enemies respawn, is it actually just a manifestation of the in-game life system, meaning Mario hasn't actually killed anyone?", or "Who is Bowser Jr.'s mom?" (and no, Myiamoto claiming himself as his mom does not count). Even a Gooigi specific one about whether he has a soul/consciousness of his own and whether that changed over the course of LM3 goes completely unanswered. And in a way, I am actually totally for that because that vagueness allows people like me who love making up fan theories about stuff ample room to work. But they went out of their way to give Luigi's unethically created goo clone a specific flavor? And it's a question that was and still is actually being asked? Why? Why do you need to know what the poor guy tastes like?

Edited to add:

Here is as good a place as any to mention my take on whether Gooigi has a soul/consciousness. I think he definitely has one by the end cutscene & credits of LM3 where he's seen doing stuff independently of Luigi and showing signs of having his own personality. However, I'm of the opinion that he didn't really have one when he was first created. That or perhaps that it was something of a fledgeling soul that needed time and stimulation to develop. I personally like the idea of almost like a kind of soul grafting thing going on or a soul incubation period supported by mind/soul sharing between Gooigi and first E. Gadd and then Luigi. Mostly because that would be rad as heck and there would be a lot of fun to be had with that idea.

[dumbfinntales]

Late last night I beat Luigis Mansion 3 after some frustration, but overall I really enjoyed the game.

In fact, I absolutely adore this game! I’ve only played the second Luigis Mansion so I don’t know how the first one is like, but when compared to Dark Moon Luigis Mansion 3 is superior in almost every way. The game has so much more variety and charm, and the exploration is done so much better. Each floor and boss ghost just oozes charm, I know that’s a very subjective way of putting it but that’s genuinely how I felt. Can’t say it any other way.

The bosses especially I loved there’s SO MANY great ones. The Mozart ghost, the mall cop, the king, the movie director, the gym guy and a literal shark. The bosses aren’t particularly difficult for the most part, but they make up for that with charm and character. Even the bosses that I didn’t like had character to them like the mechanic ghost or the Pharaoh ghost. Some fights are somewhat challenging and it was honestly a breath of fresh air. Hellen Gravely and King Boo were surprisingly difficult and their fights were stingy with health pick ups. Kids games like this usually shower you with HP during tough fights, but for me I had to scramble to find some and ended up dying a couple times. I was too prideful to buy the golden bones too, so I guess that adds to it. King Boo was also a pretty fun fight and a fitting end boss. Although they REALLY need to add a skip cut-scene button before bosses. It was super annoying to mash A through their dialogue. Well this was mainly a problem with the Hellen fight. Thus my comment about “frustration”.

Like the second game this one as well oozes with charm and lovable little animations and quirks. Re-visiting an area and seeing a couple ghost drink coffee and chat in the shops, or seeing one of those big red guys perform on a stage in the music hall. Luigi is pretty much the same as before, but we wouldn’t have it any other way. Poulterpup also makes a comeback and I just adored the level where I got to chase that damn cat around with him. The game is also ripe with exploration and filled with fun secrets and copious amounts of money. Seriously collecting money in this game just feels great. The more the merrier! I got an A rank at the end of the game which I assume to be good. I was one greedy Italian plumber.

All in all Luigis Mansion 3 is a fantastic sequel that improves upon the flaws of the previous one. And it’s a damn good switch game as well, perfect for the Halloween season. The game isn’t scary, but it’s got the atmosphere for sure. If you got a switch I highly recommend checking out this game. This game gets an E. Gadd out of ten.

[viewfromthedrumstool]

View From The Drum Stool #54

USA and Canada ‘18

We pick up the tale in Port Huron, Michigan where our band of intrepid musicians find themselves on the I-69 headed west to a soundtrack of Glen Miller.

This is my third US tour. The first was with Man Without Country back in 2013 and the second being the Saint Etienne ‘Home Counties’ tour of 2017 (all documented in detail here on VFTDS!). Both were dominated by epic road journeys and it’s easy to forget how conveniently proximous major cities are back home in comparison to the spacious lay of the land out here. We’ll clock up a cool 400 miles today - the equivalent of driving from London to Glasgow - and that’s by no means a long one.

But it’s a beautiful country to travel in; the pastel tarmac, green fields, colourful outbuildings and blue sky...

In Kalamazoo, we check in at the Best Western (in true American fashion the rooms are obscenely huge and feature a kitchenette) and head straight out to the finest Italian this side of town: Erbellis!

We enjoy a round of radioactive Catalina Margaritas and contemplate the menu...

With easily hundreds of dishes to choose from there’s lots of contemplating to do and options include ‘Be Careful Not To Choke Pepperoni Shocker’, ‘Meat Monster Mania’ and ‘The Rhino’ which contains SEVEN different types of meat. (I can barely name seven different types of meat.)

I opt for the calmer sounding ‘The Greek’ (feta, tomatoes, olives etc.) on a Chicago style crust. What I’m presented with might be better described to an Englishman as a pie, only with pizza base instead of pastry and a topping of marinara sauce in place of the gravy. It’s as ambitious as it sounds and a more typically American experience than an authentic Italian one.

Nonetheless it’s an experience and in search of more of the same we head straight to the nearest bowling alley! Revel and Roll in Kalamazoo is a modern affair with half-price drinks and a scoring system that incorporates photographs of each players face into funny little animations between frames. It’s hilarious and a welcome palette cleanser after the gigs and travel so far.

Tour manager and bassist Joe opens the strongest taking victory in the first game with a decent score of 125. It’s only a shame he couldn’t stay for a second as I know he would have been proud to witness my impressive followup: a courageous score of 128! Three whole points more than his 125! Thus I win overall, and beat his best score.

(I’m not saying that I like to gloat but I’ll admit I posted a printout of the scoresheet under the door of his hotel room...)

The following morning and riding high on the sweet taste of my bowling victory by three points (“The real winner here is bowling” I lie), we reconvene in the hotel lobby and drive into Kalamazoo centre for a spot of brunch (at the Studio Grill - classic American diner fare albeit lacking a huevos rancheros).

Our next stop is the very reason we even chose Kalamazoo as a destination in the first place. (It’s not the longest train curve in America, although I hear it’s a big pull.)

As many musicians know, Kalamazoo is the birthplace and spiritual home of Gibson Guitars! We drive a few blocks over to the original factory, located beside a railroad on the northeast side of town.

Orville Gibson founded the company here in 1894 and originally specialised in building mandolins. The Les Paul, 335, Explorer, Flying-V and SG all followed and in the 80’s, having inevitably outgrown this original facility, they relocated to Tennessee. The few employees who didn’t fancy the move stayed put, founded Heritage Guitars, and still operate out of a modernised portion of the original factory to this day.

The majority of the building is now abandoned and boarded up however. But despite the dilapidated appearance it doesn’t feel like a sad place and it’s magical to think of the great impact on rock ‘n’ roll - nay popular culture as a whole - that the instruments which have emerged from this factory have had.

Alas one of Michigans lesser-celebrated fames is the poor quality of its roads and the journey to Chicago is at best bumpy, and at worse skull-shaking. Eventually, with a final rattle and jolt, we cross the state line - pick up Central Standard Time, gaining an hour - and moments later pass by Michigan City itself ... which strangely happens to be in Indiana.

Entertainment on-route is provided by the billboards of the I-94, my favourites including one for a strip club (’All the liquor, none of the clothes’) and another for a vasectomy clinic (’Buy one testis, get the other free’).

Eventually we roll into the beautiful Park End West venue just as Via Chicago by Wilco finishes in my headphones - what could be more appropriate.

We played here on the last tour, I loved the venue then and I love it still. The crew are friendly and professional, the gear is great and the comfortable backstage is packed with fresh rider and cool beers. It’s the perfect venue to catch a gig too with room at the front for those who wish to stand and dance, booths in the middle with waitress service and stools up by the cocktail bar. I could happily bed down here for a year, get a job on the bar and befriend all the locals.

(Pic by James)

A few weeks back while playing Victorious Festival in Portsmouth with Gaz Coombes, I got chatting to one Paul Von Mertens. Paul is Musical Director and wind player with Brian Wilson and mentioned that he was from Chicago. We chatted for a while, I told him I’d shortly be in town with Saint Etienne and he said he’d love to come. True to his word he came to check out the show and was kind enough to regale us with tales of life on the road and in the studio with Brian, Wilco and many others. (Appropriately the title of the Good Humor album that we’re touring was inspired by a picture of Brian Wilson...)

The following day we spend traveling and our party takes a plane down to San Francisco ahead of our penultimate show of the tour at The Chapel. The route takes us over the Rockies and the view through the window is another mesmerising one. I’ve said it before but America is one beautiful country from the air…

While the Northeast, Deep South and Midwest of America all have their charms, none quite compare to California for me and in particular the sparkling vibrant glorious dazzling sunlight which comes beaming through the cabin windows as soon as we descend below the clouds.

We check in at the La Quinta Inn & Suites in South San Francisco and dive across to Denny’s - it’s busy on a Friday night but they now serve beer so the wait is bearable. James and I fancy a nightcap and fortunately there are drinkeries just a couple of blocks north. Unfortunately - given the American tradition of driving everywhere - they’re totally un-walkable so we have to take a 90 second Uber instead…

The Armstrong Brewing Company are a friendly bunch but their output doesn’t amount to much and we found only one of their 10+ beers vaguely palatable. Most of their creations lack subtlety and are often far too strong to be enjoyable, although they more than make up for it in friendly hospitality and are eager for us to stay even after closing time.

Show day in San Francisco! I’m on the hunt for huevos rancheros once again and have high hopes for California based on reputation, past experience and proximity to Mexico. Once in the Mission District I head to San Jalisco on the recommendation of some Saint Etienne fans. It’s certainly an authentic experience - the food isn’t paired down for our taste and half the clientele is Mexican. There’s even a guitarist who provides an authentic soundtrack, though he’s not exactly Santana. Thanks for the suggestion folks.

I walk off the large lunch around the streets of the Mission District enjoying the glorious Californian light with my film camera. I’m not the only one and when I stumble come across our venue for tonight I find an elderly gent wandering down the street bearing a very old looking 16mm camera. His name is Nathaniel Dorsky - I later learn a much celebrated experimental filmmaker who has exhibited his unusual silent films around the world. We both have a love for film and share an inspiring conversation right there on the street that will stay with me.

The promoter at The Chapel is charming and not only does the epic rider contain some swanky desert pieces (and later cocktails), she’s even brought her dog along to help out! Some of us also receive a generous gift from a fan called ��Adam’. Wherever you are, whoever you are, Adam I thank you for the four bottles of aftershave. I smell sensational.

San Francisco is always a great show for Saint Etienne and tonight is no different. The venue is packed out and the stage time is put back on numerous occasions because half the audience are still queueing up at the merch stand. When we eventually make it out, the crowd are rabid and one eager fan (is it Adam?) leans over to chat, shake hands and generally hang between every song. Which would be much more welcome if I weren’t in the middle of an indie dance show...

As per last year’s Home Counties US Tour, our final stop is Los Angeles and the Henry Fonda Theatre on Hollywood Boulevard. It’s an easy journey down by air and we’re back at the 101 Coffee Shop on Franklin Ave in time for lunch.

Their huevos rancheros are probably my favourite on the tour too. The 101 was the diner that first turned me on to the dish and it’s fitting finale fare for the final day of the tour.

Chuck E Weiss is in the house too, favourite of Tom Waits and the muse to the classic Rickie Lee Jones song ‘Chucks E’s In Love’. Listen out for the iconic drum part from Steve Gadd...

Back to the Fonda Theater on Hollywood Boulevard. A familiar setting with a familiar crew, gear and backstage too. It’s a wonderful joyous gig and the crowd brings top energy to help us over the line.

As some may know, I periodically play drums with Gaz Coombes and as it happens a number of his band - including numerous VFTDS alumni - flew in this evening ahead of a TV appearance later in the week! The aftershow party was not just a celebration of the tour but also a reunion with familiar faces from both home and away. This Is Your Life!

Shout out also to Dan and Mike who not only attended the Chicago, San Fran and LA shows but did so in their homemade Home Counties suit jackets! Having seen them down the front every night it was great to finally meet them for a quiet and civilised chat...

While the rest of the gang head home (business class, naturally) I’m staying on in LA for a few days. Thanks for the good times USA! You’ve been great as ever. The gigs have rocked, the band has been great and the crowds buzzing with no exceptions.

I’m off to watch the Dodgers with some pals… see you soon!

Mike

[themomsandthecity]

The Attachment I Never Knew Until My Second Baby

Mom and blogger Ashlee Gadd explains the attachmenet to her second child she didn't even realize she had in this post originally featured on Coffee + Crumbs. Four Months I close the garage door behind me and tip-toe into the living room - a useless effort, as it turns out - because he is still awake. The sound of muffled crying hits me like a wave; my husband sits defeated on the couch. "I tried to give him that bottle half a dozen times," he starts. I glance at the bottle on the counter, quickly doing math in my head. Two-day-old breastmilk warmed and re-warmed half a dozen times. Dammit. "He's waiting for you." "I know. You can toss the milk," I say quietly. We brush past each other in the living room as I make my way to the audible cries. I glance back at the microwave clock just in time to see four ounces swirl down the drain, along with any shred of independence I could foresee. 9:47pm. I open the bedroom door and float to him like a magnet. We retreat to the rocking chair and he nurses hungrily, desperately, clutching my t-shirt in his tiny hands the entire time. Eight Months I walk into the living room with my iPhone in hand, ready to tackle a few e-mails over breakfast. Rounding the corner, I brace myself, but it's too late. I've been spotted. He starts to softly hyperventilate. A grin stretches across his face while he army crawls as fast as he can to my feet, hurling his body over toys in the process like a twelve-pound baby soldier. He glances up at me with hopeful eyes, placing his hands on my shins desperately, as if he hasn't seen me in days. I pick him up and place his body on my hip against my faded floral nightgown. He melts into my side like pie filling conforming to the crust. He last saw me 14 minutes ago. Twelve Months He clings to me tighter as a few guests trickle in, digging his nails firmly into my bicep. I loosen his grip on my arm and kiss his cheek, reassuring him that I am not going anywhere. I try to distract him with the shiny birthday balloon, but he is too panicked to play. Grandma tries to take him; he screams. Daddy tries to take him; he screams. I eventually escape to the bathroom for a few minutes of solitude. My husband whisks him outside to play, and I make my way back to the kitchen cautiously. I dart in front of the sliding screen door, grab a burrito, and finally sit down at the table with my friends. "I think I'm safe!" I joke. The second the words leave my mouth, a familiar wail follows. I glance out the window and see him, safe and secure in my husband's arms, anxiously looking at the screen door. My husband locks eyes with me through the window. "He heard your voice!" I can't help but roll my eyes, placing my burrito back on the plate. I open the screen door, and within seconds we are reunited, his body back on my hip, his nails back in my arm, his head resting on my chest. He grins. My first son had normal spouts of separation anxiety, usually lasting a few weeks at a time. It was sweet, welcome even, and barely affected me outside of needing to take a momentary break from the gym because childcare became insufferable. But this? My second baby? I have never known attachment like this. I have never so much as witnessed attachment like this. Picture me holding this baby while I do dishes, while I prepare meals, while I type e-mails, while I pee, while I do anything. Picture me handing him to other people and his face turning beet red while he screams bloody murder. Picture me walking towards the front door while he buries his face in the carpet sobbing hysterically as if I will never return. Picture me darting around my own house like a ninja to stay out of his sight on the rare occasion that he's preoccupied with a toy in the living room for two whole minutes. When he's not in my arms, this baby lives at my feet, parked next to my toes like a relentless puppy dog. He's not content unless he's next to me, in my arms, on my hip, in my lap, breathing the same air that I breathe. He is my Velcro Baby; I can practically hear the ripping sound when I pry him off my hip to put him down or hand him to someone else, at which point he completely falls apart. How can someone so tiny possibly adore me so much? On the one hand, this attachment is straight up suffocating. Between nursing around the clock and holding him on my hip or strapping him to my chest in a carrier, I have felt at odds with my own body this year, as if it doesn't belong to me anymore. We seem to be lacking . . . what do the therapists call it? Oh yes, boundaries. On the other hand, I would absolutely be lying if I said this attachment was not the most loved and needed I have ever felt in my entire life. I am almost embarrassed to admit this, but I genuinely feel a sense of pride when I walk into a room and he cries for me with outstretched arms. In these moments, I actually feel the sacrifice and sanctity of motherhood, this complete lack of personal space that transcends my body straight down to my soul. Who cares if I never eat lunch in peace? Who cares if I have to hold a baby while I pee? I am needed! And it is a glorious feeling. I look at my 3.5-year-old, the confident boy who casually waved, "Bye, mommy!" on the first day of preschool without looking back. He needs me less and less every day. Just last week, he informed me that he can go to the bathroom by himself, closing the door in my face. "I need pwivacy!" he shouted. I was simultaneously amused and devastated. Is this where we're headed? I don't know how much longer this Velcro stage will last, but we all know it's temporary. Someday he won't sob when I leave the house. Someday he'll prefer the company of his dad, or his brother, or his (God help me) girlfriend. Someday he will need space from me, while I cling desperately to every sight of him, to every conversation with him, to every encounter we share. We are heading toward those days, like a freight train that won't stop. Perhaps this is all a dress rehearsal, a preview of what's to come. Perhaps this is all a glimpse into my own future, and he is paving the way for my emotional expectations. The day he gets his driver's license. The day he leaves for college. The day he gets married. At some point we are bound to trade places, and I might be the one burying my face in the carpet, sobbing hysterically. Everything will come full circle, and the Velcro will rip once again. http://bit.ly/2pgGkMy

[anomander-dragnipurake]

Aftermath

A proper continuation of Possessed. I had this scene stuck in my head so I wrote it. There might be more but I make no promises because I'm bad at those and I'm just here to write whatever's fun to me at the time.

~

“You’re back?” Mario said upon answering the door. He sounded and looked genuinely shocked as if he’d expected to never see Booigi again. He also looked tired; bags under his eyes, his clothing a mess.

“Is it really that surprising?” Booigi faked a nonchalant attitude to hide how awkward this was. He’d considered not coming back at all but… he just couldn’t. He still cared about everyone his past selves had cared about even if it would be easier not to.

Mario half shrugged. “I don’t know. I just thought that since King Boo ran off that one time that you’d… but you’re not really King Boo so… I don’t know. It’s been a couple weeks though so… I just didn’t think you’d come back.” It was hard to tell if he was pleased or displeased by having that expectation proven wrong.

“Well, I’m back. You can send me away if you want though; I’d understand if you’d prefer to never see me again.” It would be heartbreaking but it would at least make navigating this relationship that much easier.

It might’ve been Booigi’s pessimistic imagination but Mario seemed to consider it for a few seconds before shaking his head and stepping back. “No, no, come in,” he said, welcoming him inside with a small hand flourish.

Forcing a cocky grin as if he’d expected that answer all along, Booigi stepped in and… immediately had to fight to keep a level face. The living room was a mess; empty pizza boxes, dirty dishes and laundry littered the floor, coffee table, and couch. It was absolutely disgusting, feeling him with equal parts anxiety and disdain. It was the messiest it had ever been as far as he knew.

“Sorry about the mess,” Mario said as he closed the door, sounding a tad embarrassed. “But uh… your new look is nice.”

“Thanks.” Luigi and King Boo’s fashion senses combined be halfway between casual and fancy with the preference for the colours green and purple. He’d gone out of his way to wear one the green dress shirts today, coupled with a pair of nice jeans it was almost something that Luigi would’ve chosen to wear if he had to dress nice for an event. The shoes were still the same white show-offish ones King Boo had bought because he liked them. He’d also repainted his nail alternating purple and green that morning in part because he’d wanted to but also to differentiate his look a little more.

The silence stretched between them for a few seconds before, needing to say something and wanting a distraction from the horrible mess in the room, Booigi broke it. “What have you been up to the past couple weeks?” Other then making a mess of his house.

“Well… not much really. I just… I don’t know. What have you been doing?”

“Talking to the ghosts at the mansion and… trying to figure out my new existence, who I am and all that shit.”

“Oh uh… any luck with that?”

“Nope! My two halves were basically polar opposites in a lot areas, making me a giant fucking mess.” And he hated it. Feeling so unsure about so many things kind of made him want to break something but also kind made him want to hide somewhere and never come out. He’d been tempted to drink himself into oblivion often, the only thing stopping him was knowing it was more likely to make it worse than to help.

Mario deflated, leaning his shoulder into the wall as he looked away. “Yeah, they were opposites; King Boo was the absolute worst and… Luigi was the best.”

The awkward silence returned because what were they even supposed to say to each other? What had Booigi even come here expecting? He still loved Mario like a brother but there was no way he could have the same kind of relationship with him that Luigi had had. Half of his soul had been King Boo’s for Pete’s sake and Mario rightfully hated King Boo. The fact that this whole thing was entirely King Boo’s fault could only complicate Mario’s feelings further.

Maybe Booigi should just excuse himself and leave. He wanted to talk to E. Gadd and Gooigi too anyway. Navigating whatever his relationship to both of them had become should be a bit easier, right? Since Luigi hadn’t known them literally his whole life. Mario might just need some more time to grieve, Booigi could give him that. But as he took a breath to say that, Mario broke the silence instead.

“I miss him.” His voice was almost a whisper and he didn’t look up.

Booigi’s first instinct was to respond with something rude because no duh Mario missed ‘him’, the tired look on his face and the horrible mess in the living room attested to that far better than words ever could. But there was nothing that could be done about it so why would Mario even bother bringing it up right now? If Booigi said that though, he’d regret it big time later. So instead, concealing his annoyance he said, “I’m sorry,” because apologizing for his existence was all he could do.

Mario didn’t respond. After a couple seconds more of silence, he turned away and walked into the kitchen. Now would be a good time to leave and Booigi probably should, he clearly wasn’t wanted right now, but… he followed.

“Look Mario, I’m not him, not really anyway, and I know you probably don’t want me around right now and I’ll leave soon but first… I just want to say that I still… feel like you’re my brother.” Whom he still cherished and looked up and always would.

In the kitchen, Mario paused and turned around to look at him again at last. “You do?” His eyes were filled with unshed tears.

“He’s like half of me, remember? So of course I do.” King Boo had hated Mario but those feelings felt distant, like a memory of a time long ago. It may not be a universal truth for everyone but for Booigi, in this instance, love was stronger than hate. Which didn’t mean he wasn’t capable of hate; he hated his past selves immensely due in large part to the fact that they’d hated each other with a fiery passion. He wasn’t sure yet if that translated into self-hate but he hoped that he could see himself as a separate enough entity that it wouldn’t. “I’ll leave you alone now though. If you ever want to talk my phone number’s still…”

Mario hugged him. It wasn’t one of his warm friendly hugs but instead one filled with sorrow and desperation. Booigi’s only option was to hug him back. And when he started softly crying on Booigi’s shoulder all he could do was hold him a bit tighter and hope it was enough to be a little bit comforting at least. It wasn’t much or anywhere close to enough but it was all he had to offer.

[anomander-dragnipurake]

Possessed Part 2 Chapter Eight: Free?

He woke up slowly, feeling groggy and heavy. He hated it already and wasn’t in the mood for it. So he rolled over and… fell of whatever he’d been lying on.

Suddenly very much awake, his eyes flew open as he landed on the floor. Thankfully the fall had been short because it was uncarpeted concrete. Awake now, whether he liked it or not, he took a deep breath as he sat up to examine his surroundings.

It was a small room that almost resembled a living room. He’d been lying on the couch in the middle of the room that faced an old coffee table that supported and even older looking TV. Those were the only items in the room other than for a flashlight on the coffee table and a chair placed by the couch. It was from E. Gadd’s lab, meaning this room was probably one of the back rooms that acted as E. Gadd’s living space. Given that, it was unsurprising how sparse the room was, E. Gadd wouldn’t be spending much time in it.

Speaking of the lab though, it was the last thing he remembered. He’d been strapped into the KBE, the door had closed and then… nothing. … Had it worked? …

His mind was quiet; no thoughts but his own, no internal voice but his own, no emotions but his own, and most of all no contention between himself and another being. It was just him alone in his mind and it was amazing. Peace and quiet at long last, he’d forgotten what that was like. … There was a problem though.

Using the couch’s armrest, he pulled himself up to his feet. He then looked down at his hands and body; the meatsuit. It felt both right and wrong to have it even if he was used to it by now. … If the KBE had worked, he was supposed to be a free-floating ghost again, right? … No, actually this was right, he was still alive and it was his body and it was finally entirely his again as it should be. … Both of those couldn’t be true and yet they were meaning… … … …

“It failed,” he mumbled aloud to himself, unable to stop staring at his hands. E. Gadd had warned that it might pull their souls closer instead. He was both King Boo and Luigi and while also neither of them. Try as he might he couldn’t find any separation between them in his mind. Their souls had merged into one and that soul was his.

With a heavy sigh, he flopped back onto the couch. He wanted to be angry about this and kind of was but also… his mind was so quiet. No anger but his own, no fear but his own, no fighting with words or for control, no one leeching off his magic anymore, it was finally just his again, just as his body was solely his own again as well. This wasn’t the outcome either side of him had wanted but it wasn’t nearly as bad as he’d thought it’d be. … Both Luigi and King Boo would’ve been horrified and disgusted by it but he didn’t care.

What now though? What kind of existence would he have now? Who exactly was he? He needed a new name for sure, right? Neither ‘Luigi’ or ‘King Boo’ felt right anymore. And… he needed to tell people.

How would the boos react? How would Mario react? What about E. Gadd and Gooigi? Or Peach? Was he still technically king of the Boo Kingdom? Would they want him as their king still? … Would he be abandoned by everyone he’d ever loved?

With an angry growl he stood up and physically shook those thoughts away. He wouldn’t know how they all felt about him now until he told them and if they all didn’t like him and/or didn’t want to follow him anymore then… so be it. He couldn’t blame them for that given the circumstances and he wasn’t pathetic and whiny anymore so he’d deal with it… or he’d try to at least.

Before his thoughts could spiral any further, he stood back up and located the door that probably led back to the lab. He strode over to it and carefully opened to peek through.

Yep, it was E. Gadd’s lab all right. And E. Gadd was in. His back was to King Boo/Luigi as he worked on the KBE. Its paneling was open and he was digging around its insides with the help of Gooigi’s flashlight.

Silently as possible, Luigi/King Boo stepped through the door and gently closed it behind him. He crept over until he was right behind E. Gadd and Gooigi, still unnoticed. “Boo!” he shouted, loudly clapping his hands together as well.

E. Gadd startled, making an undignified yelp of surprise before he snapped around. Gooigi didn’t flinch – disappointing but not surprising –they did turn around as well though.

“Luigi!” E. Gadd said, holding a hand to his chest as he let out a breath. “Or I guess King Boo, don’t do that. But uh… you’re finally awake. It’s been…” he glanced at his wrist watch, “almost twenty-four hours now. We were starting to get worried.”

He clearly didn’t know how badly his machine had failed so… “What happened?”

“Well the KBE failed obviously and in doing so it drew too much power and almost exploded. The power surge fried pretty much everything else too, I just got the power back on a few hours ago. The KBE is in a poor state now as you can see but I’m confident that I can get it working again in a day or two and improve it so that it has a higher chance of working this time. So uh… don’t worry Luigi, you’ll be free of King Boo soon still, just a few more days.” He wasn’t very good at being comforting but he was trying and that was nice. Too bad it was for nothing though.

“Don’t bother, you’ll just be wasting your time.” There was no way this could be undone.

E. Gadd had started to turn back to his work but froze. “What do mean?”

“I’ll say it like this: you’re prediction was right, my kindness does outweigh my bloodlust,” in this instance anyway, he doubted that would always be the case, “and thus I have no desire to kill you even if I am mad at you for failing.”

For a second or two E. Gadd looked confused but then with a small gasp it seemed to click. He opened his mouth as if to say something but nothing came out.

It was Gooigi that broke the silence with an “Uh-oh.” Their face was expressionless as always but their voice was distraught.

“Yeah, ‘uh-oh’, indeed,” King Boo/Luigi said with a sigh.

“I’m sorry,” E. Gadd finally found his voice. “I… didn’t… I failed… I’m sorry.” He looked away, pulling his arms in on himself. He was far more upset than Luigi or King Boo had ever seen him before. … There was no excitement about the potential test subject he’d just got; he really did care more for Luigi than his ghost studies. That had already been made pretty clear but… the full confirmation of it was something else entirely. Luigi had had a good friend.

“It’s uh… really not so bad.” Luigi/King Boo forced a smile for him. “My mind is finally at peace. No more pathetic whining and whimpering and no more being hurt or tormented with literally no escape. It’s finally over. This is far better than staying as two separate minds stuck in the same body.”

E. Gadd’s shoulders slumped. “I know but… you deserved better. I thought I could fix it but… I guess not.”

This was the worst. How was one supposed to comfort someone when it was their own existence that was the problem? It was impossible, wasn’t it? So… “Where’s Mario?” he asked because he needed to get the whole telling everyone he cared about that he was a combination of someone they loved and someone they hated before he could figure out what to do next. He wasn’t looking forward to it and part of him would prefer to hide from everyone and everything instead. He’d never liked being a coward and now he just hated it more.

“I sent him out to take Polterpup for a walk,” E. Gadd answered as he abandoned the KBE to sit at his desk instead. Gooigi just sat down on the floor where they were already. “He wouldn’t sleep and he’s been hovering around you a lot so I figured some fresh air would do him some good. He should be back soon though.”

With nothing more to say to either him or Gooigi, Luigi/King Boo strode out to wait in the front part of the lab. He thankfully didn’t have to wait long, not even five minutes passed before the door opened and Polterpup came bounding in following shortly after by Mario.

“Puppy,” King Boo/Luigi greeted Polterpup as he came running up for a pet.

“Luigi?” Mario said, his voice full of worry and hope, making it impossible to stay focusing on Polterpup. Oh gosh, there were bags under his eyes too, he indeed clearly hadn’t slept. “How do you feel?”

“Not too bad actually.”

“Oh, that’s good. E. Gadd said that he can fix the KBE pretty fast and that next time it should work so don’t…”

“There won’t be a next time,” King Boo/Luigi interrupted. “It’d be a waste of time.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean Luigi and King Boo have become one person and that person is me.” He pointed to himself, putting on a slight smirk to hide his true feelings about revealing this. “I doubt it can be undone at this point so refer to me as… ‘Booigi’ should do for now. I might change it later but I need a new name, a combination of my two old ones isn’t a bad choice.”

The despair that took over Mario’s face as those words sunk in would’ve greatly pleased King Boo but King Boo’s hate for him had never been as strong as Luigi’s love. As a whole, the stronger feeling won over, leaving Booigi feeling kind of awful.

The silence stretched as Booigi waited for Mario to say something. He didn’t though, instead he just looked at Booigi, tired and… sad; grieving.

“I’m sorry,” Booigi finally said, letting his shoulders slump. He didn’t want to show weakness but caring for someone wasn’t weak, right? “For what it’s worth though, this is far better than what I was going through before. For both my halves honestly but especially the half of me that is Luigi. I’m not suffering anymore, that’s good, right?” Right now, it was enough for him.

Mario thought about it for a few long seconds before slowly nodding. “Yeah, that’s better then… what he was going through before. But… but… it’s just wrong. How could that… happen? I was supposed to… protect him and now…” he trailed off with a vague hand gesture, not even looking at Booigi anymore.

“You need some sleep. What me to take you home?” He needed to go see the boos and ghosts that had followed King Boo for countless years now and tell them the news too but he could take some time to drive Mario home at least.

Mario mumbled something unintelligible in response. With a sigh, Booigi decided to take it as assent. He put a hand on Mario’s shoulder to guide him back out the door.

“You want to come too puppy?” he asked, pausing with the door open to look back at Polterpup. “Come back to where you belong and stop being a traitor?” Ghost animals were rare so he’d be very welcome back at the mansion.

Polterpup whined and got up but it was only to run in a little circle before sitting down again. He probably hadn’t understood the offer but regardless, he clearly wanted to stay here.

“All right, take good care of E. Gadd and Gooigi for me then.”

 -

Mario was asleep long before Booigi pulled up into the driveway of his house. Not wanting to bother with carrying him, Booigi levitated him into the house and to his bed instead. Using the same magic, he even pulled off his shoes and tucked him in. Hopefully he’d sleep for a long time and wake up feeling a bit better about all this… probably not though.

Before leaving, Booigi popped back into Luigi’s old room to gather his clothes and the L hat that had appeared on the bedside table overnight one night. King Boo hadn’t liked it and thus they hadn’t worn it ever but even if it didn’t match his sense of style, Booigi wanted to keep it for old time’s sake.

 -

Luigi’s fear of the haunted woods and King Boo’s enjoyment of them combined into a peculiar feeling. It was kind of like fear but the kind of fear one got while enjoying a horror movie; not necessarily pleasant but not at all bad either. Overall, Booigi would say he liked them but he wouldn’t want to spend a long time in them.

What he didn’t like though was the jump-scare he got when a group of boos jumped out into his path. He flinched and jumped back a little before he could reign it in, ugh! Thankfully the boos didn’t seem to notice as they launched right into talking to him.

“You’re back boss!”

“And you’re still in Luigi!”

“We heard about the soul merging thing does this mean that… that happened?”

“It can’t have happened, right? What would we do without you?”

“You’re just here to turn him into a painting, right? Like how you were going…”

“Hush,” Booigi cut in, needing to only raise his voice a little to make them all fall silent immediately. “That’s what I’m here to discuss with you. Gather everyone currently around just outside the mansion.”

Most of the boos seemed to relax, a few seemed to gather that something was wrong though as their worried expressions deepened. All of them obeyed though, quickly scattering.

With a sigh, Booigi continued on. Just telling E. Gadd and Mario had been bad, now he had to tell all his followers. Would they still want to follow him? … Did he still even want to lead them? … Yes, how much King Boo cared for them, dampened the remaining dregs of Luigi’s fear of them. And he still had ambition, not as much as King Boo had for sure, but he wouldn’t be content wondering around doing nothing. He was going to accomplish things, he just didn’t know what anymore.

By the time he reached the mansion, many ghosts had already gathered just outside it, waiting for him. He levitated himself up to float above them all, putting himself in a relaxed posture that he did his best to make look not forced. All their murmuring quieted as everyone turned to look at him. He didn’t say anything yet though, more were still coming.

He hid his not so newfound nervousness well when he did finally address them a short time later when it seemed everyone around was present. “All of you have heard about my situation by now I’m sure.” King Boo had made sure of that. “Every attempt to fix it has failed and now I exist; half your King Boo and half Luigi.”

Audible gasps of course answered that followed by many bursting into questions. There were so many talking at once it was impossible to pick out any one voice.

“Hush.” He had to raise his voice a bit louder this time but it still mostly worked, there were still a few murmurs. “I really don’t know how to proceed from here but…” But what? He hadn’t really planned this speech out, trusting that it would just come to him. That’s how King Boo had always done speeches, apparently that ability didn’t carry over. “… but… you guys still need a king; I could still be that if everyone’s all right with it.”

He could just about kick himself for how he’d worded that, making it almost sound like a meek request. But their opinion was important, he’d never had to enforce his rule with violence and wouldn’t do so now. If they didn’t want him as their ruler anymore, he’d just have to deal with it.

The crowd erupted into more talking. Everyone was concerned and wanted to have a say about something or ask a question. None of it was helpful though, especially with it all being thrown out at once.

“You have a month to decide if you still think I’m fit to rule, then we’ll hold a vote.” He had to use to magic to make his voice louder now so he could be heard over the crowd. “For now, I have some stuff I need to attend to privately.”

And with that, he fled. He tried to disguise it as merely leaving but… he was fleeing and he hated it. He had a lot to think about though, the kind best done in private. Like who was he now? Was Mario still his brother? E. Gadd his friend? What about his boos, did he still have a right to be their king when he was only half dead? What did he even want now? He didn’t know but he intended to find out.

~

I thought long and hard about doing two endings; this one and one where the KBE works and they're free. I decided to just go with this one because it's what felt the most right for the story. However if y'all want me to, I could see what I can do about writing an alternate happy ending too. It wouldn't be much of a bother at all, I do have some pretty solid ideas for one.

And I might already be writing a thing that leads to a happier ending. It's a split path thing though, not an alternate ending. It splits at the end of part 1 and goes in a drastically different direction. I don't know when it'll be done though because I only have the 1st chapter written and I have no clue how long it's gonna be because I have no clue what all even happens in it. So that's gonna be a thing maybe eventually, we'll see.