#dykes recognize dykes ya know

[catgirljaneway]

[caffeineyum]

Muffins (Chapter 4)

so the brainrot got to me, had finish this before I could focus on grad work. Little NSFW this time, here we goooo! @biomecharnotaurus

“The bastards are slow learners compared to last class,” Johnson complained as he and Alba made their way to the cafeteria. 

“They’ll get there,” Alba replied. 

“They better,” Johnson shook his head. “Or they’ll end up being an ass sorry bunch of Spartans,” He spat, as they walked into the cafeteria. 

“You know that won’t happen,” Alba reassured, handing the man a tray for his food. Johnson took it and the two made their way down the line grabbing the food they wanted. 

“They ain’t ready,” Johnson stated as they found a seat. The two stared at each other both unwavering gazes meeting. Both of them knew what that meant, the final training exercise before being official ‘Spartan IVs’. It was grueling topside training exercise on the glassed surface of Africa. 

“I’ve already pushed back the exercise once,” Alba sighed. “What else can we do?” She asked, Alba was confident in the ability of this class she had seen their potential. But Avery had a point, they were not exactly on track to face the last ‘test.’

Johnson chewed on his cigar before finally pulling it out of his mouth to take a bite of food. Alba knew he was trying to think of something. 

“Well we’ve got a month,” he said. “We have to tell them the truth,” Johnson light slammed his fist onto the table when he said truth. 

“Tell them how they’ll make a ‘sorry bunch of Spartans’,” Alba cracked a smile. 

“Exactly, and you gotta be the one to do it,” He  determined. 

“Deal,” Alba agreed, then suddenly a pair of hands reached to cover her eyes. At first she felt all her muscles tense, ready to defend herself. Then Alba recognized the slight callouses and a recent burn from a baking tray. Jane, Alba felt herself smile a little.

“Guess who?” Jane’s voice asked. 

“Jane,” Alba answered and Jane removed her hands. Jane took a seat a next to Alba. She was still wearing her apron, Alba figured this must have been a meal break of some sort. 

“Hi! Can I sit with you two? After I get my food?” Jane asked. Alba nodded.

“S-sure,” She replied then look over to Johnson who gave her a nod. 

“Ok I’ll be back!” Jane called as she went off the get her food. 

“That the muffin lady?” Johnson asked and Alba nodded confirming watching Jane get her food. “She’s pretty,” Johnson remarked, Alba nodded in agreement. Although Alba thought Jane was more like a sun, gracing anything around her with her light.  

“So ya like girls?” Johnson asked. Alba only stared at him blankly not understanding what he meant by that. “Are ya a carpet muncher?” Johnson tried again only to be met with another confused stared. “Scissor sister?” Alba raised an eyebrow. “Muff licker?” Alba’s forehead wrinkled and her lips pressed together, now she was even more perplexed. “Ya know are ya a Dyke?” Alba slowly shook her head no, the vocabulary lost on her. “Do you know what the ladies like Alba?” Johnson finally asked with a smirk. 

“I-I know Jane likes hugs,” Alba stuttered, attempting to answer, her face bright red. Only knowing that Avery was referencing something sexual. Alba had no experience in that category. She only knew that Jane’s hugs made her feel warm and special. 

Johnson let out a small belt of a laugh. 

“Well that’s just adorable,” Avery chuckled as Jane sat her tray down next to Alba’s.

“What were you two talking about?” Jane wondered.

“Oh nothing, just how much Alba likes you. She told me you make some excellent muffins,” Johnson gave Jane a smile. 

“Really?” Jane asked looking up at Alba. The Spartan was bright red now. Thinking about how in the world two women would have sex and now realizing that people probably had sex for more than its “intended purpose”. It all made sense now… What she overheard from ODSTs… people really did have sex for more than reproduction. Damn. 

“Well I’m glad she likes me and the muffins!” Jane smiled and gave Alba a side hug. Somehow Alba’s face got redder as Alba returned the side hug. The Spartan started to sweat. Would something like ‘that’ be nice? How would it feel? Jane was involved in all these questions. All of it made Alba want to pull her shirt up over her face and pretend the world didn’t exist. The Spartan felt her shoulders tense as she subconsciously tried to make herself as small as possible.  

Suddenly Alba felt a little kick from under the table. Alba snapped back to reality, making eye contact with Johnson. He had definitely kicked her and he was saying something. 

“Hey Alba, Jane just asked you said about her.” Johnson filled her in. 

“I-I said you like hugs,” Alba mumbled, still flustered. “And I think you’re amazing,” Alba found herself smiling at Jane. It was a weird smile, one that her body seemed to be doing unconsciously. The two women made eye contact. 

“Thank you!” Jane smiled back. “I think you’re absolutely wonderful and very sweet,” Jane’s grey eyes sparkled like stars and for a second Alba had to remind herself that she wasn’t looking at an angel. 

“Thanks,” Alba smiled wider, that was the best compliment she had ever received.

“Alba’s a badass. She’s got more covie kills than everyone on this boat combined and she’s the best damn instructor in the whole UNSC,” Johnson boasted.

“Oh I didn’t know I was in the presence of a UNSC warrior queen,” Jane responded. “Your majesty,” she joked faking a bow. Alba chuckled, thinking about how far ‘warrior Queen’ was from who she really was; a failed Spartan program experiment with a crazy ability to kill. But it felt nice to be seen in a different light. 

“And she never gets cold. I’ve seen this woman prance around in below zero like it’s a flowery meadow!” Johnson added. Alba tilted her head at him, why did he mention that?

“Well she really warm whenever I hug her,” Jane nodded. “It’s nice because this ship is so cold,” the smaller woman added. 

“I-If you’re cold,” Alba stuttered. “I have an extra jacket, I could… give you,” she offered. Alba didn’t really use her jackets, all but the UNSC issues hoodie that she wore only because it felt nice. Anything else was too heavy and she didn’t need it. Her augmentations kept her warmer than most jackets could. 

“Alba-“ Jane started before she was interrupted. 

“JANE! We need you back here now!” Someone yelled from behind the counter. 

“Shit,” Jane cursed as she stood up, it was the first time Alba had heard her curse. “I’ll see you tomorrow Alba!” Jane gave Alba a quick hug then grabbed her tray and bolted off in the direction of the kitchen. “Nice meeting you!” Jane called to Johnson. 

“Damn things were just starting to get good,” Johnson sighed. 

[twowivestwoknives]

I apologise if I'm overstepping as a femme but the portrayal of caitvi is just so eugh in season 2. Why is Vi trapped unhappy with a femme who clearly doesn't care about her at the end of the show? One of the points of Vi's character is to try to get back to Jinx and Jinx to get back to her. I really thought this season would be Vi's, I presumed we would get a deep look into Vi's trauma the way Jinx was explored in season 1, but nope! Apparently Cait being horrible to Vi and then Vi taking off Cait's enforcer uniform in a prison cell is the way to go (sarcasm). "I'm the dirt under your fingernails" was such a horrid note to end on. Vi doesn't sound happy when she says it, she sounds exhausted and in clear need of someone other than Cait to help her out. Idk I could just be talking rubbish but the way they wrote caitvi this season made it imo impossible for them to have a healthy relationship in the end

Oh not overstepping at all! Femmes and Butches are my community, yall are always welcome here. Only made the point on that post bc GNC women often don't get their abuse taken seriously (not that most women get it taken seriously, but ya know, unique nuances). Pls never feel unwelcome :) I agree with what you're saying fully. It breaks my heart tbh; I want both femmes and butches and dykes in general to be able to see ourselves in complex, compassionate, messy, caring relationships of all sorts. I'd even be okay with abuse narratives if it was ever /explored/ or even recognized. At the end of the day it's taking this dynamic and selling it as healthy and idolized that concerned me so deeply. lesbians deserving better from media forever and ever <3

[omegawolverine]

hi can u tell me what dinner in america is about? i wanna watch it but i wanna know what i’m signing up for!

omg hiii yes :3 im bad at explaining movies so bear with me here but like. okay so id say it falls in romcom territory, idk what the official genre is but it's definitely a funny romance so we're going with that. the main idea is that this guy simon is lowkey wanted by the police and he ends up hiding in this girl patty's house out of convenience bc they run into each other and she recognizes him from a class they had together in college (they're like 20). during this first night when he convinces her parents to let him stay by lying through his teeth he finds out that patty is a huge fan of the punk band he is a frontman of but she doesn't know it's him bc he wears a mask to every show and she's been sending him these love poems (amongst other things...u can find that out for urself) that he's saved literally every single one of bc he thinks she's like a lyrical genius and he's kinda infatuated just by that alone (and the other things inside them........lul)

one thing to note is that patty has some unnamed disability (or multiple bc it's kinda implied she might also have epilepsy and she's on 5 different meds), the popular theory is autism which i think checks out pretty well, so a lot of this movie features her getting called retard amongst other similar comments. i say this both as a warning but also bc it's pretty plot relevant as a huge part of the movie is simon basically helping her get back at people but also grow into herself and learn how to defend herself bc she kinda just let's people treat her like shit bc its her normal (even her parents infantalize her so ofc she thinks it's okay when everyone else treats her like she's stupid).

i don't wanna give too much else away but yeah long story short: fangirl accidentally meets her idol and he falls for her and she falls back before even knowing and they help each other grow yayyy! other general warnings are like homophobia i guess but when simon says dyke and fag it's like yeah he's def a fruitcake so whatever but other characters also do it so ya know! and also obvs the ableism and there's like sexual harassment in a couple scenes but it's like. akin to kurt and ram from heathers type weirdo shit, if that helps paint a picture. mostly the movie is just funny and cute tho! very heartwarming in the 2nd half imo <3 lmk if you watch it and what you think!!

[helliontherapscallion]

(Y/n) and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Week: Thursday (Part 1)

Monday     Tuesday     Wednesday     Thursday (Part 2)     Friday     Saturday     Sunday

Spotify Playlist (collaborative)

Warnings: swearing, homophobia (f slurs and d slur), panic attacks, toxic friends, mentions of attempted suicide/getting told to kill yourself

Word count: 6,377

(A/N): ok, so I definitely got carried away with this, so I had to split Thursday into two parts. If I kept it in one part, it’d probs be like 10k-11k words long lmao

You woke up feeling strangely more refreshed than usual. Glancing at your clock, you saw that you actually woke up about thirty minutes before your alarm went off. You got a whopping twelve hours of sleep, a stark contrast from your recent sleep schedule consisting of no more than four hours a night. You felt like you could rule the world with how much energy you had. Sure, you felt anxiety pooling in your stomach like you usually did and you had a terrible dream about Haley rejecting you and getting completely outed to the entire school, but that did not stop you from throwing your covers off your bed and walking down the hall to the kitchen with the most confidence you’ve had since starting high school.

When you got to the kitchen, you saw a dead looking Uncle Schlatt slumped at the table chugging coffee and a chipper Philza trying to make conversation. Usually, you would’ve joined Schlatt in being dead inside, but today was different. You were filled to the brim with energy that you haven’t had in years. As you walked through the door, their heads turned towards you.

“Mornin Dad, mornin Uncle Schlatt!”

Your uncle merely grunted before going back to guzzling down his coffee. Your dad smiled at you, “well, looks like someone’s well rested.”

“Yeah, I got like twelve hours of sleep last night.”

“Glad to hear it, hun. You really needed it.”

“Glad to hear someone’s feeling well rested,” your uncle grumbled into his coffee. 

“Schlatt, don’t be such a downer all the time,” Philza rolled his eyes at your uncle. 

“Fuck you Phil, I’m a ball of fuckin sunshine. Ain’t that right, sweetheart?” 

“Yeah, Dad, I don’t know what you’re talkin about. Uncle Schlatt’s the heart and soul of this house. Even if he doesn’t live here.”

Schlatt gave a booming laugh, “suck it Phil. And that, (y/n), is why you’re my favorite niece.”

“At least I’m someone’s- wait. I’m your only niece.”

“Still my favorite niece!”

You grinned happily, that was better than nothing. “Love ya, Uncle Schlatt!”

Your uncle’s cocky grin turned more sincere and he diverted his full attention to you, “love ya too, kid.”

“Love each other quieter, you woke me up.” Wilbur’s tired voice complained as he walked into the room and slumped into his chair next to Schlatt. Schlatt clapped a hand onto his shoulder and rustled his hair.

“My man! How’s Sally, huh?”

Wilbur flushed red and started sputtering as Philza turned his confused gaze to his son. “Who’s Sally, Wilbur?”

You couldn’t leave your brother high and dry when he accepted you for being yourself so readily yesterday, so you quickly jumped in for him. “Sally’s just one of his friends at school. They’re job shadowing together for their project. Right, Wilbur?” You turned towards the flustered man with a somewhat forced smile and raised eyebrows. He looked at you with immense relief and nodded vigorously, his hair flopping onto his forehead. 

“Yes! We’re planning on job shadowing our band director, he said that it’d be a good idea if we want to major in music.” 

“Oh, why didn’t you tell me about her before! You should invite her over for dinner, I’d love to meet her!” Oh, your dad did not buy your terrible excuse for Wilbur, that man is like a bloodhound when it comes to sniffing out lies. Poor, poor Wilbur. 

Despite the blush remaining on his cheeks, Wilbur seemed to think that Philza actually bought his weak excuse. “I’ll invite her over soon. Does Friday night next week work?”

Philza grinned cheekily, “yes! I can’t believe you haven’t brought her over sooner if you’re close enough to job shadow with her!”

At this point, Schlatt’s face was cherry red with his almost failed attempt to hold in his laughter. “I’m not missin this. Me an’ Tubbs are comin over next Friday.” 

Wilbur still hasn’t noticed that they hadn’t bought it, you thought he was more perceptive than that. Eventually, Philza started to make breakfast and conversation lulled into a comfortable silence as everybody waited for Techno, Tommy, and Tubbo. Deciding to pull out your phone, you scrolled through your notifi- wait. Why did you have forty-two messages from Adrian and Sammy? Why did they make a groupchat with everyone except Annie? Furrowing your brows in confusion, you opened the group chat. What you read made your breathing catch in your chest and your skin blanch, it wasn’t a dream. Everything was real.

Sammy <3

(y/n) you fucking pervert

How could you do this to us????

Adrian <3

We’ve given you everything and yet you’re still a disgusting person. 

Fucking faggot

We thought we could fix you, but you’re broken

You’re always going to be

Sammy <3

And now, you’re gonna go to hell with all the other dykes and fairies.

It’ll probably be heaven for you, surrounded by perverts like yourself

You’re staying far away from Annie

Adrian <3

You’ve put her through so much shit and now this

We swear to god if you talk to her again we’re gonna make you wish you would’ve gone through with killing yourself freshman year

We’re leaking the pictures slut

You felt your anxiety melt away into betrayal. So they were yours and Haley’s stalkers? How dare they try to leak Haley’s pictures. They could leak yours, you didn’t give a shit if yours were leaked. You could learn to live with it, you always did after all the shit you put yourself through throughout the years, but Haley’s? She didn’t do anything. Even if her rejection was painful, you still deeply cared for her. She didn’t deserve that. You, however, did for not being normal. For making people around you uncomfortable with your presence. 

(Y/n)

That was you guys?????

Why the fuck would you do that

I trusted you 

All of you

Sammy <3

We trusted you too dyke

But you’re a two-faced bitch

And to think we actually thought you were our friend

Were you only friends with Ann and I so you could get into our pants?

I’m disgusted

You’re a fucking pervert.

Adrian <3

We shouldn’t have talked you out of suicide freshman year

You fucking deserve it

Make Annie’s life easier and just swan dive off a roof

You’ll be doing everyone a favor

(Y/n)

Listen, I don’t care if you leak my pictures.

Just don’t leak Haley’s

She has no part in this

I’ll leave you guys alone if you delete Haley’s pictures

Hell, I’ll do anything for you if you could release them after the final volleyball match today

It’s Haley’s time to shine and she deserves the attention as team captain

She’s worked so hard to get there all of high school and leaking my nudes would take the attention away from her

Let her have her moment

Sammy <3

For once she has a point

She probably manipulated the poor girl

Who knows what the fag would’ve done to her if we didn’t expose her

Adrian <3

Fine, we’ll delete Haley’s pictures and we’ll wait until after the game

But we’re leaking yours

You deserve it for what you did to Annie and Haley

“Kid, are you okay? You’re kinda pale over there buddy.”

Looking up from your phone, you saw everybody’s eyes on you. They each looked concerned, but Wilbur even more so. He was the only one in the room at the moment that knew about your panic attacks. He stood up from his spot and walked over to you with long strides.

“She just remembered the homework in stats that we forgot about. Techno asked us in the group chat about it, we were just about to go and see if he could help us.” 

“But Wilbur, I thought you took statistics last year.”

“No, that was algebra two, I’m taking stats this year,” that was a lie, he was in pre-calculus this year. “C’mon (y/n), lets go finish that assignment.” 

He grabbed your shoulder and hauled you into a stand before grabbing your hand and practically dragging you up the stairs and into Techno’s room. Said pink-haired teenager looked up angrily. “What’d I say about kno- (y/n)?”

Wilbur closed the door and locked it behind him. He dragged you over to Techno’s bed and sat you down on the edge before kneeling down to look you in the eyes.

“(Y/n), can I touch you? Is that alright?”

After you shakily nodded, he grabbed your hand and placed it over his chest. “Breathe with me.” Like yesterday, you tried to copy his movements, but it wasn’t working. Your panic attack was just getting worse by the minute. Techno pushed Wilbur aside and took his place kneeling in front of you and grabbing your hand, rubbing his thumb over your knuckles.

“(Y/n), can you tell me five things you can see around the room?”

When you didn’t move your wide eyes away from Techno’s face, he frowned and gently squeezed your hand. “You can get through this. What’re five things you can see around the room?”

You reluctantly tore your eyes away from his face and peered around the room. You hadn’t noticed that your blurred vision had tunneled until you realized that you couldn’t see anything in your peripheral vision. Your unseeing eyes flicked around the room. 

You tried to swallow, but you couldn’t do anything through the lump in your throat. With a shaky voice, you gasped out “I-I can’t breathe. I-”

“Deep breath in through your nose and out through your mouth. Follow me.”

You tried to breathe with him, and you eventually got to the point where you could speak. Your eyes flicked around the room once again and slowly recognized your surroundings. 

“You… Wilbur… Desk… Window…”

“That’s good, just one more.”

Your eyes flicked around the room, “...Book.”

“Look back at me, you’re doing so good,” when you looked back at him, he had a small smile on his face. “Nice job. Now, four things you can feel. Can you do that for me?”

You shakily nodded and looked at your hands and around your surroundings. “Bed… Pants… You… Carpet.”

“Three things you can hear?”

“You… Birds… Breathing.”

“You’re almost there, I’m so proud of you. Two things you can smell?”

“Toast and… and burning?”

Despite his confusion about the sudden burning smell, he continued to smile at you. “Good, last one. One thing you can taste?”

You licked your lips before scrunching your nose slightly, “...snot.”

“Wilbur, can you go get her a few kleenexes and a glass of water?” Techno asked his brother without taking his eyes off you.

Wordlessly, he swiftly left the room. “Are you feeling better?”

You panted as you reached up to rub at your teary eyes, “yeah, how’d you know what to do?”

His smile turned slightly bashful, “I did some research last night. I’m glad I did, that was a bad panic attack. Can I- can I ask what caused it?”

You pulled out your phone and handed it to him, letting him scroll through the messages while you brought up your knees to your chest and rested your chin on your knees. You felt tired after that attack, however you had a little bit more energy than you usually did. Only a little bit more. It was probably because you slept for half the day and through the night yesterday. You watched your brother scroll through your texts with tired eyes. 

He was emotionless as he scrolled, making you somewhat scared about what his reaction would be. He probably hasn’t gotten to the whole “go kill yourself” or the stalking parts. Judging by his set jaw and labored breathing, he was pissed already and he didn’t even get to the bad parts yet.

In the middle of his scrolling, Wilbur came back with a box of tissues, a glass of water, and a plate of bacon, eggs, and toast. When you hardly moved to grab them, he sat on the bed beside you and handed you a tissue. After cleaning up, you took the glass of water and started to slowly sip at it. “Thanks, Wil.” 

He wrapped an arm around you and pulled you close to him. When he looked over Techno’s shoulder at your phone, you saw his eyebrows furrow. “Tech, what’s-”

He was interrupted as Techno shoved your phone into his hands and stood up to start pacing around his room. “Read it yourself.” He sounded more monotone than usual. He was absolutely furious.

You watched Wilbur’s face as he read through your messages. Unlike Technoblade, he looked furious. His eyes were set ablaze as his entire face turned an angry red. “(Y/n), what the absolute fuck? Why didn’t you tell us this was happening?”

Shrinking in on yourself and pulling your knees closer to your chest, you murmured out a small “sorry.” You saw him quickly turn his head to you as his face softened. He pulled you into a full hug.

“This isn’t your fault. None of it is, it’s all their fault,” he spat with disgust. “How’d they even get your nudes? Did you send them to anyone?”

You leaned your head against his shoulder, “that’s the thing, Wil. I’ve never taken nudes before. They took them through my window. I deserve it.”

You felt him freeze up and heard Techno pause his pacing to stomp over to you. He tore Wilbur’s arms off from you and held you out at arms length by your shoulders. He looked the most angry than you’ve ever seen him with his furious eyes burning into your own and his mouth set in a firm frown. It was terrifying to see him that angry.

“(Y/n), you don’t deserve a single fucking thing that’s happened to you. You were manipulated and gaslit by a group of self righteous assholes. You. Do. Not. Deserve. Anything. That. Happened. To. You. Do you understand me?” 

Despite your fears of him, you were determined to protect your friends. “But I do deserve it though. I was a bad friend to them. I tried so hard, but I couldn’t be a good friend to them when they were always helping me. I’m just not a good person in general. I deserve it for not being normal.”

“(Y/n)-”

“Technoblade, that’s enough.” Wilbur cut him off with a firm tone, putting a comforting hand on your arm.

“No it isn’t Wilbur. It’s not enough until she realizes how fucking toxic they are. What they’re doing is gaslighting. You’re in a psychology class, you should know what that is. Give me the definition of it. Now.”

“It’s when someone manipulates another person for their own personal gain… I’d know if I’m being gaslit, and I’m not. They’re just telling me the truth, they keep me in check. I could put more effort into my appearance and personality. I could stand to lose a couple of pounds.” “How do you not- ya know what? Listen. Just listen. That’s the definition of being gaslit. They’re constantly putting you down and making you self conscious about every. Little. Thing because they need to put someone down to fuel their own damaged egos and they laugh at you when you show that you’re hurt by their comments. That’s not a healthy friendship, (y/n). It’s toxic. 

“Real friends would never, and I mean never, do that to you. Real friends would never tell you that you looked like shit when you’re as beautiful as Aphrodite. Real friends would never out you to the entire school when you weren’t ready. Real friends would never tell you to lose weight because they wouldn’t care about what you look like. Real friends care about your well being and they look out for you. They love you for you.”

You fell silent as you contemplated his words. Were they really that toxic? You were planning on being a psychology major in college, so why didn’t you notice that they were actually always against you? You learned in your class that manipulative people are naturally cunning and sneaky, but you couldn’t help but feel stupid. You thought that they were helping you when they were clearly toxic. It was right under your nose and you didn’t even see the signs. What kind of psychology student were you if you couldn’t recognize the obvious signs of manipulation? 

On one hand, you were filled with betrayal. But on the other hand, you felt molten hot anger overwhelm and swirl around your entire body like a cyclone absolutely decimating everything in its path with its violent winds hurling in a blind rage anything and everything without a care of the outcome. You felt the burning hatred of a thousand suns rise up from deep within your being, filling you with a hatred that you didn’t know you were capable of. 

They fucked up your entire life, not you. They were the ones with the ugly personalities, not you. They were the ones that needed to improve themselves, not you. They were bad friends, not you. They laughed at the pain they brought upon you purposefully. They completely humiliated you. They betrayed your trust. They took pictures of you without your consent. They fucked up your relationship with Haley. They violated Haley. They fucking stole her dignity from her with those disgusting pictures they took of her. They were truly vile creatures undeserving of any mercy. Not that you were actually considering being merciful, that would be too good for them. They deserved everything you were going to throw at them. You were going to rise like a phoenix from the ashes of your past self. 

You felt yourself practically vibrate with fury as you held Technoblade’s intense gaze with one of your own. “Those bastards fucking used me for years. Literal years and I thought they were there for me,” you gave a sardonic laugh, your voice shaking with anger. “I-I’m gonna fuckin kill them the next time I see their sorry asses. Make them feel what it’s like to get tossed out of a car. Make them feel what it’s like to constantly get beaten down.”

Techno’s hands gripped your shoulders in a vice grip as his eyes sparked with a crazed delight and he grinned widely at you, “that’s the spirit! You’re gonna rain hellfire upon them, beat their asses (y/n)! Fuck em up! FUCK! EM! UP!”

Wilbur, always thinking about potential consequences and the voice of reason, spoke up with hesitance. “As much as I love that you’re finally realizing that they’re toxic as hell and want revenge, you’d have to wait at least until tomorrow. If you did it today, you wouldn’t be allowed to go to finals. Besides, I don’t think that you should even fight them. You would be out- wait. They’re the ones that opened the car door and fucked up your back?” Seeing you nod, his face darkened in anger. “...(Y/n), you’re gonna fuck em up as soon as you can tomorrow. We’ll back you up if they try to gang up on you, we aren’t eighteen yet, so it’s still legal. ”

“YES, SUCCUMB TO THE ANARCHY! WE’RE GONNA FUCK EM UP!”

“YOU ARE NOT FUCKING ANYONE UP ANYTIME SOON, TECHNOBLADE.” Philza’s voice boomed from behind the closed door. Said door swung open to reveal your father’s angry form and your uncle’s intrigued, slightly proud form.

You three stared at the two for a while with gaping mouths, your previous intensity substantially diminuendos into a quiet shock. No one fucks with an angry Dadza. Techno was the quickest to get over the shock. “...How long were you standing there?”

Your father sneered. “Well, long enough to hear that you three are going to fight someone! Why the hell would you do that?” 

Your brothers looked at you in a silent question. Shaking your head, you answered in a small voice, “there’s just some people messing with me at school. They were just worried about me. We weren’t gonna actually fight someone, they were just talking about how it’d be nice to get some revenge for me. I was just about to tell them that I could handle myself and we didn’t need to fight.”

Immediately, your dad’s stiff stance relaxed slightly as his eyes pierced into your own, searching them to see if you’re lying to him or not. You felt a cold sweat drip down the back of your head at the intensity of his gaze, you hated when he did that. It always made you feel like he was staring right at your soul. Eventually, his gaze softened.

“Why didn’t you tell me? I could’ve helped you through it.”

“I didn’t want to bother you. Plus, it’s nothing I can’t handle by myself.”

“But you looked really panicked earlier hun. Are you sure you can-”

“I just forgot about my stats homework until this morning and I thought I wouldn’t be able to get it done in time, but I did! No worries,” you spoke a little faster than usual. You prayed that he wouldn’t see through your lie. 

“...Alright. Just let me know if it gets to be too much for you and I can talk with your principal about it. Now go eat something and get ready, you only have,” he glanced at the clock on the wall, “an hour before you have to be at school. Hurry up or you’re going to be late.”

Your dad turned around and walked down the hallway away from the room. Schlatt, however, loomed in the doorway for a while before he came into the room and closed the door behind him. You three watched him warily as he eyed you and your brothers.

“...Ya know, I approve,” after seeing your confused looks, he chuckled and spoke again. “I approve of you three fuckin em up. I heard part of your conversation, and those snot nosed brats deserve it for what they did to my favorite niece.”

You three stared at him with shock, making him laugh at you. “Close your mouths, you’re gonna catch flies.” He paused for a second before leaning towards you and whispering “now, you didn’t hear it from me, but the key to a good punch is following through with it. Don’t hesitate. Don’t tuck your thumb in, that’ll break it. Make sure you center your hit on your index and middle fingers, they are the strongest points of the hand. If you need to, go for the eyes, nose, and groin.”

“I-thank you Uncle Schlatt. I really appreciate it. Just- please don’t tell dad?”

“Of course not! I mean, if you don’t fuck em up enough I will. (Y/n), when you’re done, I want details.”

You saluted sarcastically, “yessir, will do!”

He gave a boisterous laugh, “you better. Now go get ready.” 

As he was about to walk out of the room, he suddenly paused and his hand shot to his pants pocket. He pulled something out before putting it into your hand and turning again to walk out of the room. “This is from Tubbo and Tommy. They were worried about you.” In your hand laid three of your favorite candies. You felt your heart swell at their innocent, caring natures. They were honestly some of the sweetest kids you’ve ever met. 

“Well boys, you get first pics!” You held out the candy to them.

Wilbur looked at you with knitted eyebrows, “but they gave those to you.”

“I wouldn’t have gotten through that panic attack without you guys helping me, so take this as a temporary thank you.” You watched as they glanced at each other before reaching out to grab a piece of candy.

“Alright, I’m gonna go get ready, you guys can take the bathroom before me. Love you guys!”

You went into your room and made sure your curtains were closed before turning to your closet. Humming in thought, you picked out a white button up and the nicest sweater you owned. You put on the collared button up then slipped the sweater on over it so that the collar poked out of the neck. You smiled at yourself in the mirror, feeling more confident in yourself than you’ve felt since you started hanging out with them. Fuck them, they always lied to you. You looked great in anything you put on. You felt elated and basked in the spectacular feeling of being able to like what you wore. 

While you waited for your brothers to leave the bathroom, you pulled out your phone and scrolled through your contacts before you stopped on one: Haley’s. The girl that stole your heart and relentlessly stomped on it until it was a red puddle at her feet. Despite the pain, you still loved her. She was your everything. Your thumb hovered over her icon, contemplating on texting her. You had to tell her that she didn’t have to worry about her pictures anymore. 

(Y/n)

Haley

I know you don’t want to talk to me, but I have good news

You don’t have to worry about your pics anymore

I took care of it.

You don’t have to reply to this

Just know that I took care of it and you don’t have to worry about it anymore.

You sat on your bed staring at your phone screen waiting for her to open your messages. You stared at the ‘delivered’ icon at the bottom of your message, waiting for it to say ‘read’. You stared for about ten minutes before you gave up, putting your phone in your pocket and standing up with a sigh. She would see it eventually. Just as you reached your door, you felt a vibration in your pocket. You whipped out your phone and smiled at Haley’s face on your screen. She was calling you. 

Taking a deep breath to calm yourself down, you clicked the answer button, “hey Hales.”

“(Y/n), what’d you do?”

“I took care of it. That’s all you have to know.”

“I think I should know more. What’d you do?”

You paused for a moment before you hesitantly said, “I asked them to delete your pictures and they have to, it’s part of our deal.”

“...You found out who they were?”

“Yeah, but that’s not important. You don’t have to worry about it.”

“(Y/n), don’t tell me what to worry about. Who are they?”

“...Fine, it was Adrian Schnieder, Annie Lockhart, and Sammy McConnor. Ya know, you’re scary when you’re mad Hales. Remind me not to get on your bad side again.”

“It was them? You hang out around them all the time, I thought you were good friends. Why would they do that?”

Even though she couldn’t see you, you shrugged. “I dunno. I think they were just jealous. They’re assholes and I can’t believe I haven’t noticed it a lot sooner. I’m sorry they put you through that, you didn’t deserve what they did to you.”

“God (y/n),” she sighed out, you imagined that she was running a hand through her hair. “I can’t imagine how much that hurt you. You four were really close.”

“I know, but it was a long time coming. Like I said, I should’ve noticed that it was them. They’ve always been toxic as hell.”

“How’d you find out? What happened?”

“Did you hear about what they did to me yesterday?”

“Should I? If you’re not comfortable talking about it, that’s totally okay. You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t wanna.”

“No, it’s fine. You’re gonna hear about it eventually, shit spreads like wildfire at Klinkver. Long story short, they outed me to the entire school and thought that I was only friends with them to get in their pants. They basically told me to kill myself,” you added nonchalantly. “But that’s not the important part about this. They told me that they were the people that took those pictures of you.”

“...(Y/n), how could you say that’s not important! They fucked up your life and all you care about is my pictures? What’d they say they’d do with yours?”

“I asked them to not leak them until after the match tonight so you could have the spotlight. You deserve it after all the hard work you’ve put in to get team captain. Zuri was hard to beat and you deserve the recognition for that.”

You heard her take a deep breath through her nose, “(y/n), for once in your life care about yourself over others. You’re gonna be exposed to the entire school and it bothers me that you’re being so nonchalant about that.”

“They’ve put me through worse. Besides,” you wove a hand in the air, “it’ll all blow over sooner or later when another person gets their nudes leaked. You remember how fast people forgot about Marlene’s nudes when May’s got leaked like a week later.”

“Still, it’s degrading to have people see you like that. No matter how fast they get over it, it doesn’t change the fact that they’ve seen you. You can’t come back from that sweetheart.”

You felt your heart skip a beat at the nickname. Even if she called almost everybody that, you felt special. “I don’t care if people see my boobs, it wasn’t even a clear picture anyways. It was hella blurry.”

Your door swung open for the second time today. There stood Tommy, his eyes peering innocently at you. “Dad wanted me to tell you to hurry up.”

You smiled at him, “thank you buddy. Let him know I’ll be down in a minute. Oh, and thank you for the candy, it really made me happy.”

He beamed brightly before he sprinted down the stairs. “Was that Tommy? Is he gonna be at the match tonight?”

“Of course, he and Tubbo are our team’s mascots after all. They would never miss a game, especially our final match.”

“I can’t wait to see them, but we need to talk about this. It’s more serious than you paint it as. How are you not pissed at those dumbasses? You trusted them and they betrayed you.”

“Oh, believe me I’m furious. Heh, I’m actually kinda shaking right now because of how pissed I am. But for now, I’m just gonna imagine their faces on the ball so I can keep my mind off them until tomorrow.”

“...Please don’t tell me you’re gonna do something stupid tomorrow.”

“I wouldn’t call it stupid per se, they deserve it for what they put you through. It’s more getting justice than being stupid.”

“(Y/n), I swear to god if you start a fight just to get back at them for me, I’m gonna slap you. Think about yourself every once and a while, they put you through so much. If you feel comfortable, you’re gonna tell me everything they did to you tonight on the bus coming home.”

“So we’re gonna sit together?” You tried and failed to stomp the hopeful tone from your voice.

Her laugh sounded angelic in your ear, “of course we are silly, you’re my best friend. I gotta go, my dad’s calling me. I’ll talk to you later!”

“See ya!” When you hung up, you danced around your room with joy. You- no, they- didn’t ruin your friendship with Haley after all! Oh, you felt like your heart was going to burst out of your chest with joy. Even if she didn’t like you like you adored her, you still cherished your friendship. Looking back, Haley and the team always had your back, they genuinely cared about you. They were perhaps the only ones you would fully trust in the future. 

“(Y/N), HURRY UP YOU’RE GONNA BE LATE!” Tommy’s voice outside your door shook you from your happy dance. “Coming!”

You ran to the bathroom and hastily went through your routine. Despite your rushing, you tried your best to look presentable. You were going to prove those snakes wrong, you were beautiful no matter what you wore or how you looked.

After running down the stairs with your bag, your dad stopped you before you could run out the door with your keys. “You look nice today hun.”

“Thanks Dad, I just wanted to dress up a bit for finals today. I’m honestly really pumped to play tonight.”

“That’s good,” he smiled at you before pulling you into a quick hug. “Just take it easy today, you need to save your energy for the match tonight... Listen, I don’t know what happened to you this morning and I don’t know exactly what’s going on in your life right now, but just know that I’m always gonna be here for you. Whether you need help with homework, advice, or if you want me to beat up someone else’s dad for you,” he chuckled, “I’ll do it.” 

You closed your eyes and leaned into his touch, happy with the contact. You two stood in the hall for a moment before he pulled away and told you to leave for school. 

The drive to the school was uneventful with your brothers mainly holding up the conversation. As you pulled into the parking lot, you realized that you needed to catch up on two full days of stats homework.

“Hey Tech?” He hummed, looking over to you.

“Sorry, but would I be able to maybe copy your stats notes from Tuesday?”

“Yeah, I’ll give em to you so you can copy it before school starts. We’d have to go to Mr. Mullins for yesterday’s notes though. We can just ask him about it before school starts.”

As you pulled into a space and moved to leave the car, a hand stopped you. “(Y/n), if any of those two-faced bitches bother you at all, let us know. Don’t deal with this on your own, we’re here for you,” Wilbur said genuinely.

“Yeah, if they say anything bad about you, it’s on sight.”

You laughed, “thanks guys, I’ll let you guys know if they do anything. We gotta get going though if Tech and I wanna get those notes done.”

In the school, you and Techno successfully got your notes done before the first bell rang. The rest of class went by without a hitch with you actually somewhat understanding mostly everything being taught. You even got a question right when you were called on! Turns out not feeling weighed down by toxic people helps a lot with concentration.

The only block you were dreading was the second block. You were sure that if you even glanced at Annie and Adrian, you’d go apeshit on them. Luckily for them, they didn’t show up to class today. They were probably comforting Annie after you “manipulated” her, you thought with an eye roll. Today was just another work day, so you pulled out your laptop and opened Google Docs. You saw Annie’s and Adrian’s unfinished and you were slapped in the face with inspiration. 

They were still expecting you to finish their essays, so you were gonna finish them alright. You were going to completely rewrite their essays all about how they were terrible homophobes and how LGBT+ people are always facing some form of discrimination amongst their peers, complete with attached screenshots of them calling you slurs over text. You’d even write a little note at the beginning that would tell your teacher that they didn’t write this, but they made you write it so you deserved the credit for it. You didn’t care that this would take a while, the satisfaction that you would get would be worth it. This was going to completely screw up their grades, this essay was worth twenty five percent of your overall grade. Mr. Todd was really laid back, so he only had a few rules in the classroom. First was to respect your classmate’s time and work, second was to clean up after yourselves, and third (“the most important one” he said on the first day of school) was that he would never tolerate racism, sexism, transphobia, or homophobia in his classroom. Your masterpieces you were writing would definitely earn them a failing grade, a good scolding from Mr. Todd, and maybe a visit to the principal’s office. This would be first in a long line of gifts you have in mind for them. 

At lunch, you were slightly stumped as to where you should sit. You didn’t really know anybody in your lunch period, so you just sat at the empty table Adrian, Annie, and Sammy left for you today and ate while working on your masterpieces. Finding sources was extremely easy for you, you remembered doing extensive research about discrimination when you first found out that you weren’t the straight girl you thought you were. Luckily for you, you still had the old Google Doc full of sources you wanted to save for later. Thank you, freshman you. 

Third and fourth block went by relatively quickly, you completely finished the work in both classes with plenty of time left for you to continue typing up the essays. You had gotten Adrian’s completely done and Annie’s thesis written. Oh, revenge is sweet. You weren’t even done with what you had in store for them. 

You had their parent’s phone numbers and you got Adrian’s boss’ number from Marlene, who worked with him as a waitress. Annie’s parents were total sweethearts that would be absolutely fuming if you showed them what she said to you. You weren’t sure about Adrian’s or Sammy’s parents, but you were going to send them screenshots anyways. If Adrian’s parents were as bigoted as he was, you still had his boss to fall back on. You could email the screenshots to the principal and the athletic director so that you could have something to rely on if Sammy’s parents had the same beliefs as she did. She valued cross country more than everything, so you could fuck that up for her. Revenge never tasted so sweet to you before, it felt like you were high with how giddy you were. Techno and Wilbur were going to love this. 

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[thisisarcanereverie]

Something ‘Bout You (Biker Natasha x Reader) Chapter 1

A/N: Hey this is a new series! I’ve been meaning to write something for her for a while now so here ya go enjoy! 

MAIN MASTERLIST

MCU MASTERLIST

NATASHA ROMANOFF MASTERLIST

REQUESTS ARE FREE AND ENCOURAGED 

SUMMARY: After Wanda announces her engagement a familiar face returns into your life. 

“(Y/n)!”

You heard the familiar chime of the doorbell and the familiar excited voice of your friend fill the relatively empty store. You whipped your head to her just in time to see her barrelling toward you and captured you in a bone crushing hug. 

“Whoa there Wands,” You said as you returned the hug, “did something happen or are you just that happy to see me?” 

Wanda quickly released you from her vice grip, “oh nothing much happened,” Wanda paused before holding up her left hand, “except this.” On her left hand on her ring finger sat a beautiful vintage ring. 

“Oh my god!” You exclaim smiling as you grab her hand to get a closer look at the ring, it was simple in design but it really suited Wanda. ‘When did this happen?!” 

“Last night,” Wanda reveals happily her smile never deterring, “Vis and I were watching reruns of the Dick Van Dyke Show, I told him how Mary’s ring was beautiful and next thing I know he asks ‘is it as beautiful as this ring’ next thing I know he’s down on one knee with the ring in his hand asking me to marry him.” 

“I’m so happy for you and Vis.” You congrat Wanda as you and her continue to talk about her engagement for a few more minutes. 

“Actually Vis and I were planning on going to the city tonight to celebrate, are you busy?” Wanda asks. You take a quick look at your calendar finding nothing but closing the store on the agenda for tonight. 

“Nope,” You respond, “just have to close the store.” 

“Close early and Vis and I will pick you up,” Wanda said, “We’re bringing Pietro, Steve, Bucky, and Monica with us.” 

You hesitate for a bit, but you take one look into Wanda’s pleading eyes, the same eyes that have gotten you into more than your fair share of trouble since highschool, next thing you know you’re nodding your head in agreement.

Wanda lets out a small squeal before enveloping you once again in a small hug before saying goodbye and that Pietro will pick you up by seven. 

As you continue about your day, stacking books and working the register you start to wonder when the last time you actually had a date was. 

During the slow rush you decide to check your calendar again. You flip through each page until finally you land three months prior where you had plans to meet up with the local coffee barista at some bar you can’t remember the name of. What you do remember is that the date ended with you buying a half quart of ice cream and watching reruns of Gilmore Girls. 

You check the clock and check the store to find it empty. You decide now would probably be a good time to close and to start getting ready for the night in the city with Wanda and the rest. 

You turn the sign on the door to ‘closed’ and push all thoughts of dating to the back of your mind. 

---

You had just slipped your shoes on when you heard Pietro knock on your door in the familiar pattern he’s done since high-school. 

You answer the door to reveal Pietro. You always thought he had looked handsome in that mischievous way. But when he wears that white button up and slacks with his hair gelled back he is a special type of handsome. 

“Well damn don’t we look fancy tonight?” You say as Pietro noticeably checks you out in the same appreciation. You did a small turn in your black dress that fell just mid thigh. 

“And you don’t look too bad yourself Princeza,” Pietro said as he offered his arm in an overdramatic gentlemanly style. Which you responded in kind, laughing slightly as you made sure to lock the door behind you before finally heading out.  

---

You were back in your parents backyard, sitting in that hammock with a book in your hands. Nancy Drew had wormed her way into eleven year old you’s heart, with all of her adventures and detective skills. 

Just as you were about to reach the climax of the book you heard a familiar voice. 

“Whatcha reading today?” You look away from the book and spot a familiar blue haired girl the same age. She was the neighbor that moved in about three years ago, Natasha, who quickly became your best friend. 

“Nancy Drew,”

“Again?”

“There’s more than one Natty.” You responded, next thing you know the book is lifted from your hands and Natasha is hovering over you with the book in her hands. 

“Naaat.” You whine as you try to reach for the book only to have her expertly move it away from you. 

“C’mon,” Natasha says as she makes her way to the bushes separating your yard and hers, “adventure awaits.” 

You struggle a little as you make your way out of your hammock and through the lush bushes to Natasha who slips through the crack in between. 

“Nat,” you warn lightly. 

“I promise I’ll give you the book back,” Natasha promises, “but first we go on an adventure! Grab your bike and meet me out front!” 

“Where exactly is this adventure?” 

“Just grab your bike, chatty cathy!” 

You hear her footsteps rush over to her bike as you rush to yours. 

By the time you let your parents know you’ll be riding your bike and get to the front of your house Natasha is already waiting for you. 

Together you both rode your bikes until finally settling on a clearing near the local park. There was this big oak tree and in front of it a huge rock as well covered in green moss. 

For a while both you and Natasha played by either climbing on the rock and proclaiming yourselves rulers of the land, climbing the tree, playing pretend in the most kid way possible. 

However you would catch glimpses sometimes, you didn’t know what, but it made you worry for her. Like how sad she looked, or scared. 

Finally, after being worn out by playing you both lay on the grass beneath you and watch as the fireflies began to dance around the big oak looking like thousands of moving stars. 

You were enjoying the bit of peace and silence when you felt her hand hold yours. You look over and see the blue haired girl still staring at the millions of fireflies with a smile on her lips. 

“Thank you for being my best friend.” She said gently as you looked away from her and continued watching the fireflies dance, until the sun finally set and it was time to go home. 

She never did give that book back. 

---

“Princeza, we're here.” You hear the familiar accented voice say. You slowly open your groggy eyes to see the glittering lights of the city. 

“How long was I out?” 

“An hour.” 

“So the whole car ride,” You say, you could see Pietro nod from the driver's side, “I’m sorry.” 

“What for?” 

“I was asleep the whole car ride, you were probably bored.” 

“No, I wasn’t bored,” Pietro said, “I know you haven’t been sleeping much because of the store.” 

Here it comes. 

“You need to start working less Princeza,” Pietro continued concerned, “you spend all your waking hours at the store, tending to your books, and life is going to pass you by.” 

“Pietro-” 

“I don’t mean to be harsh or rude,” Pietro quickly added, “it’s just I see you all the time at the store and nowhere else lately. I get that the store is demanding, but just try to make some time for yourself. Promise me?” 

You look at him and can’t refuse. 

“I promise.” 

You can start relaxing tonight. 

---

You came to quickly realize that clubbing really wasn’t your thing. 

A pile of random sweaty bodies ground on each other on the dance floor to music that hurt your eardrums. 

It wasn’t that you were judging anyone for liking this atmosphere, it just wasn’t your cup of tea, you preferred to stay on the sidelines and watch your friends dance. 

And the full bar proved that you weren’t the only one. 

You had looked away for a second to order a beer when you spotted someone familiar. 

It was dark save for the flickering lights that illuminated her every once in a while. You couldn’t place where you knew her but you knew that you knew her. It was in the way she walked with a certain grace and her eyes were sharp enough to cut through you and you imagined her tongue was the same way. 

She must have noticed you staring because the next thing you know she’s staring right at you. Your eyes lock and that’s when it hits you. 

You didn’t recognize her without her blue hair. 

Natasha. 

You panic and turn back to the bar to order that beer you were going to order about five minutes ago. You mentally beat yourself up, if you didn’t look like a creep before you definitely did now. 

You were so busy mentally assaulting yourself that you didn’t notice the redhead sauntering her way to you and sit on the empty barstool next to you. 

“Well if it isn’t Nancy Drew.” 

You turn your head and see Natasha there beside you. Her hair was shoulder length and no longer blue. Now her hair was it’s natural elegant red color, her blue eyes sharper than you remember as well as her cheekbones. You noticed hints of tattoos peeking out from the collar and sleeve of her leather coat. 

“You never did return that book.” 

You both couldn’t help the laugh that erupted. Even though it’s been years somehow it almost feels like no time has passed. 

Almost. 

“So what’ve you been up to?” Natasha asked, “still into books?”

“Uh yeah,” You confirm, “I actually own a bookshop back home.” 

You see Natasha smile from ear to ear before taking a sip of what was your beer now it seems to be adopted by Natasha. 

“That’s so you,” Natasha said before taking another sip from the beer bottle. 

“Well what about you?” You ask, “what have you been up to?” 

You could see the hesitancy in Natasha’s face, just as she was about to answer, however you see a light brown haired male come up beside her. 

“Hey Nat, I hate to interrupt but we got a Budapest situation over here.” Natasha swerved her attention to where he pointed at the blonde who was obviously drunk off her ass putting a six foot tall man into a choke hold. Which you had to admire and be impressed at. 

“I guess that’s my cue Nancy Drew,” Natasha said as she took one last sip from the beer bottle before abandoning it. As she was making her way through the crowd but before she got too far you saw her turn around. 

“What was the name of your bookstore again, Nancy Drew?!” She yelled over the crowd. 

“Oh-um- Summertime Stories!” You call out, you catch a glimpse of something in her eyes before it disappears. 

“I’ll see ya soon Nancy Drew!”  

Oh how right she was.

[lowpawly]

one of these days I wanna write my Dissertation on why the aromantic peridot thing kind of sucks speaking from my perspective as a dyke but I really hate the idea of people misconstruing my words and I don't know if the insuing headache of that is worth what little gain there is from critiquing representation in a dead kids cartoon. like no questions asked there are much better things for me to expend that kind of effort on its mostly just something representative of a larger pattern that like, ya know, I would appreciate people recognizing. just as a treat

[reading-while-queer]

The Essential Dykes to Watch Out For, Alison Bechdel

Rating: Great Read Genre: Graphic Novel Representation: -Lesbian ensemble cast -Racially diverse ensemble cast Trigger warnings: Reclaimed D-slur, animal death, cheating, divorce, cancer, casual transphobia, biphobia, and ableism, difficult topics ranging from war to AIDS to 9/11. Note: Not YA; sexually explicit

If you’re familiar with Fun Home or Are You My Mother? you’ll know what I mean when I say that Dykes to Watch Out For is no entry level work - though Dykes to Watch Out For is difficult for different reasons.  While Bechdel’s ruminations on her childhood, psyche, and sexuality require a decent amount of outside reading to be fully appreciated, Dykes to Watch Out For requires an equally rigorous knowledge of the political landscape of the past forty years.

But on the other hand, the more things change, the more they stay the same.  The wars, elections, discourse, and protests are not so unfamiliar.  If I had to pinpoint Dykes to Watch Out For’s continued importance to lesbians today in just one idea, it would be this: “Against the sweeping backdrop of history... everyday life pretty much continues” (371).  

It’s not a major theme of the work, yet it is the shape of the final tapestry.  Politics, discourse, trauma, and sickness make their ravages, and here we all are, much the same as we ever were 10, 20, 30 years ago: this pattern, far from intentional, emerges from the tide-like flow of 30 years of comics.  But it’s why Dykes to Watch Out For is so special.  And we have the privilege of going back to look into that reflection of the 80s, 90s, and 00s and recognize familiar features. The political scenery may be different (or, honestly, not so different) but has daily life changed much?

I first tried to read Dykes to Watch Out For as a curious high schooler, and my eyes glazed over.  Without having absorbed enough recent history through cultural osmosis, nor having developed a taste for gray morality, I just didn’t get it.  Two characters would have an argument on the page, both of them would make provocative points, and then Bechdel would refrain from telling her reader which was in the wrong.  Neither character was a straw man; it almost felt like Bechdel was arguing with herself, trying to decide what was right - if there even was a right answer.  I couldn’t wrap my mind around it, especially when the vocabulary and context were both tantalizingly out of reach.

Reading now, I found the once alien discourse all too familiar.  The same exact discussions were being had in 1985 as are being hashed out on Twitter.  One of a hundred examples is whether gay marriage is a buy-in to the privilege bestowed by heteronormativity. Bechdel asks if marriage is a patriarchal model that can be salvaged, but she doesn’t have an answer for you, just a prompt to chew on.

Another example is Bechdel’s discourse on the outliers of lesbian spheres: trans lesbians, trans men, genderqueer people, and bisexual lesbians (Would you believe that term is used in the text - and equally as contentiously?).  These are conversations we are all very familiar with.  However, this discourse is especially interesting in a work that took 30 years to write.  The reader combs through 30 years of metamorphosis in just a handful of hours.  Bechdel’s tongue-in-cheek “Whatever will they come up with next?” is printed in the same volume with genuine consternation on who is allowed to be a lesbian.

Trans women start as a punchline.  But on most topics, Dykes to Watch Out For tends, eventually, to stop itself to re-evaluate.  Thirty years later, one of the main characters IDs as genderqueer, finds herself meeting trans men and doing drag king shows, fights with her friends over their trans exclusivity, and in the end, ends up advocating for and co-parenting a teenage trans girl, who ends up a main character in her own right.  It’s one of Bechdel’s firmer positions on right and wrong, although she doesn’t hesitate to mouth the opposite argument, too.

Plenty of sympathetic characters say transphobic things which just hang in the air, unaddressed.  It’s maddening - but in sticking with the material, I got to see the characters who flubbed the pronouns and complained about gender confusion eventually get in line - changes which are not commented upon and happen so gradually in the thirty years over which the comic was written, that they mimic how change happens in real life.  In our own lives, change may seem impossible, but then you blink, a decade has passed since you first came out, and half the homophobes have come around.  Much the same for Dykes to Watch Out For, which is almost as much a memoir as Fun Home (albeit of Bechdel’s discourse rather than her life).  I think every cisgender lesbian should read it - it’s a powerful antidote against TERFism, not because it lays down the law, but because it meets you where you are and gives you the chance to say your piece without ridicule, before taking you by the hand and showing you something kinder. If Dykes to Watch Out For has anything to teach us, it’s that hard lines in the sand make you look like a dick thirty years later.  Take Sparrow’s story arc.  Mo, Lois, and Ginger are thrown when their friend Sparrow starts dating a man.  They say some rotten things about how betrayed they are, how they don’t know if they can trust Sparrow anymore, or her politics - but when they are overheard, the “discourse” suddenly becomes real.  That’s their friend, and her feelings are hurt.  What else can you do for your friend who has spent decades of her life as a lesbian, whose identity is culturally and socially interwoven with lesbianism, and who identifies as a bisexual lesbian - except love her?

A frequent lesson is that anyone can be reactionary - even the left-est of leftists.  Years later, when Sparrow faces an accidental pregnancy, her friends overwhelmingly pressure her to keep the baby, not because of their politics, but because of their excitement - yet the impact, if not the intent, is anti-choice.  It’s ideas like these being brought to the forefront that make Dykes to Watch Out For something special.

In her introduction to the book, Bechdel frets over both keeping up with the changing current of discourse (XVI) 

...and her own role in shaping that discourse (XVII)

But her work speaks for itself: if we are to do right by one another, we must prioritize one another, not the rules.  The same conversations will be had again, and again, and again, from 1983 until we all go blue in the face.  We can’t control someone angrily shouting into the room (or Twitter timeline) “but WHAT about BISEXUAL LESBIANS?” and the chaos that follows - but we can accept that someone will shout it again in twenty years, and that the following chaos will be so nearly identical to the previous chaos as to challenge whether it is chaos at all, or just the universe putting on a matinee performance of the same old song and dance.  Is it useful to put on your tap shoes and sing along?  Or do you end up hurting the feelings of a genuine friend who just happens to be one of the outliers this time around?

Dykes to Watch Out For is thought-provoking (as you can see, my thoughts have been well and truly provoked), occasionally in poor taste, but mostly surprisingly sympathetic, both to its more marginalized characters, and to its wrong-doers - this comic doesn’t have any villains.  The initial gag, that Bechdel would write a catalog of lesbians like a lepidopterist giving clinical attention to a series of specimens, works to her favor.  There are no bad lesbians and good lesbians.  At least, not essentially.  This approach lends Dykes to Watch Out For more staying power than it might otherwise have had - it’s relatable.  You know these people.  You’ve had some of these arguments, and hurt each other’s feelings over them.  Your friends live in the mildewy house that’s kept at 64 degrees in the winter, where you’re as likely to be walked in on in the bathroom as not, a home where everyone in the friend group feels free to stop by.  

Here in the future, we have the immense privilege of watching how these parallel lives to ours play out.  The Essential Dykes to Watch Out For may be a comic for a different generation, but Bechdel has given us something fascinating from both a history and literary perspective.  She has put to paper a sprawling epic about lesbians growing from their twenties to their forties, getting married (or not), progressing their careers, having children, having PTA meetings, having affairs, and doing civil disobedience with their kids.  Rarely do we see the map from here to there laid out so meticulously.  I read this book voraciously, both the earlier chapters that relate to life as a new adult, and the later chapters, which serve as a window into what life was, and could be.

For more from Alison Bechdel, visit her Twitter here.

[ablamarka]

What about a Rejanis fic set in senior year where Damian sets up Janis on a dating app because he’s tired of her being single, and Regina judges every girl she swipes right on (could go along with the jealousy prompt?)

Thank you for your request! I hope you enjoy what I’ve came up with!

AO3

*I inserted a ���read more” button but they don’t always work with my posts, so I’m sorry in advance if you have to scroll down my post for thirty seconds.

“What are youdoing with my phone?”

“I made you atinder account.” He sighed and shrugged.

“What?”Janis asked not entirely believing what her best friend just toldher.

“You need agirlfriend.”

“Damien…I’m… What?” Janis blinked several times per second, still tryingto keep up with Damien’s line of thought. “I don’t need agirlfriend.”

“Oh, come on!How long can you keep up with the drunken hook ups and an unhealthyobsession over middle-aged actresses?”

Similarly to thelaugh track on a nineties’ comedy, Janis heard the former plasticsand remembered they were also in Damien’s basement. That was prettymuch something she was still getting used to: Having someone else,other than just she and Damien, in their movies marathons. Of course,it still feels incredibly awkward to be hanging out with the girls ina friday night, but -somehow- that’s what her life became. And sheenjoyed it.

“You do need agirlfriend, Janis.” Cady argued and earned a frantic nod fromDamien.

“Tinder is notthat bad. I use it all the time.” Gretchen said from the old couch,with Karen and Regina in both of her sides watching the scene withcuriosity. She knew there was something else in Regina’s look, shejust couldn’t figure out yet what it was.

“How does itwork?” Cady asked from the ground where she was seated in thefluffy carpet with a inquiring look in her eyes and a massive popcornbowl in hands.

“Ok, so, youjust get to see a bunch of random strangers and you swipe left if youdon’t like them, or swipe right if you do!” Gretchen carefullyexplained. “If you swiped right and the other person swiped rightat you, then it’s a match!”

“Sounds fun!”

“It soundslike rejection…” Janis deflated.

“Who wouldreject you?” Regina suddenly joined the conversation and receivedmixed looks from her friends. “I mean… Damien set your account,how is it?” She quickly disrupted from any questions.

“Oh! Let meshow you guys!” He grabbed Janis’ phone in the coffee table nearthem.

“How do youknow my password?” She laughed.

“Honey, itrecognizes my id…” Damien said shooting her a winning look. “Ok,here it is.” Gretchen clapped in the air, not containing herexcitement, causing Janis and Cady to share a amused smile. “Janis,18.”

“Right.”Janis responded to Damien’s questioning expression.

“Your bio isjust a middle finger emoji.”

“Love it!”Karen screamed excited, making they all laugh at her suddenparticipation in the discussion.

“I’ve onlyuploaded three pictures. No one needs more than that, you’re not thatthirsty.” Janis rolled her eyes.

“Did you putthat one with the pink sweater? She’s super cute in that one!”Gretchen said with excitement.

“Yas!”Damien moved to high five Gretchen, but was interrupted by Regina.

“What? I tookthat one!” She said bothered.

“Chill, AnnieLeibovitz…” Damien stared at Regina and shot her a biting smile.

“Also the onewith the ripped jeans and the one with the red solo cup. I feel likeI was able to capture your personality, you know…”

“Whatever.”Janis replied already annoyed.

“Wanna startswiping or not?” Damien asked with the phone in one hand and theother in his hips in the sassiest way possible.

“Give me myphone.”

Janis rolled hereyes and pretended not to care, but deep down, she was more thancurious to see what would happen. It wouldn’t be that bad to meetsome new people and maybe go on a date. She did miss having intimacywith someone, not only kissing someone at a party and moving on, buthaving company, someone to paint, someone to talk to while painting,someone to make silly jokes with. It’s not something that wastes hersoul, but it for sure wouldn’t hurt.

Just as shethought about this, she locked eyes with Regina, seated across fromher with a blank stare that fell just as their eyes met. Almost likethere was something she was holding on to, if only Janis could findout what that was. If only it was the same thing that was holdingJanis out,

“Brittany,19.” She shook her previous thoughts and read the first profilethat came up as Damien handed her the phone. Before she could readthe girl’s bio, the four girls (and Damien) excitedly jumped in herdirection and settled around the arm chair she was seated.

Regina was rightby her side, seated in the chair’s arm with her arms folded,carefully watching  the phone screen. Just like the others.

“She is cute!”Gretchen said thrilled.

“Obsessedwith puppies and Christmas.”Damien read out loud and tried not to laugh.

“That’sbasic.” Regina, for instance, did not hold her laugh and sarcasticcomment.

“I’m not sureI’m into red heads.” Janis finally reacted, after seeing all thepictures.

“Hey!” Cadyscreamed offended.

“Sorry, Cady.”Janis shrugged and smiled at her friend.

“Swipe leftand move on!” Damien guided and she did as he said.

“Oh! I likeher!” Damien said while swiping to see the other pictures of thegirl. She had light brown hair, a golden retriever and dimples. Janiswas sold.

“I don’t likeher.”

Janis turned herface to Regina and watched the girl carefully analyze the phonescreen. As she swiped right and the “It’s a match” message cameup, Regina immediately seemed disgusted.

“Whatever.”

She wasn’t eventrying to contain her irritation.

“She looksboring.”

“Ew, she’s inthe school band.”

“No, you’renot dating her.”

“She’s wearinga panda shirt.”

“Of courseyou’re swiping left of the blonde girl.”

“Absolutelynot.” Before the next photo appeared and Regina could throw anothercomment…

“Regina!”Gretchen screamed. “What is wrong with you?”

“Excuse me?”Regina raised an eyebrow, defiant, almost like the old times.

“You do knowyou’re not the one going out with these girls, right?” Cady askedholding a laugh.

“Ugh,whatever.” Regina stood up and seated on the other couch, lettingher friends enjoy the Tinder experience without her interference.

Regina pretendedto be paying maximum attention on her phone but Janis could sense herstare.

“Hey.” Theyquickly got bored with tinder, especially when Janis didn’t let themtalk with any of her matches, and decided to watch a movie. Kill Billwas on the screen but neither Regina nor Janis seemed to be payingattention.

As Regina wentupstairs, Janis decided to follow her.

“Hey, you.”she said pouring herself a glass of water and avoiding Janis look.

“Is everythingokay?” Regina gave her a confused look. “You seemed a little off,after the tinder thing…”

“I’m okay.”As Janis reached the water bottle to get some water herself, Reginasuddenly said- “I just don’t think you’ll find a girl on Tinder.”

“I’m sorry?”Janis felt annoyed right away, what did Regina meant with that?

“They’re justnot good enough for you.” Regina nervously messed with her own hairand looked anywhere but Janis eyes.

“Not a singleone?” Janis laughed. “Out of a hundred girls we just saw?”

“You’re toonice and pretty for them.” She said like it was no big deal. Justsmall talk.

“I’m too niceand pretty?” Janis smiled softly.

“Yeah…”Regina’s words came soft and careless as she finally met Janis’ eyes.“I don’t know why everyone is so invested on getting you agirlfriend.”

“Is it such aterrible idea?”

Sometimes Janiswould be reminded of Regina’s old behavior.

“I just don’twant you to be with the wrong person.” She looked about to cry.Looked like she was trying her hardest to hold back her tears andJanis had -no- idea what to do.

“Hey… It’sokay, I’m wasn’t even thinking about it…” Lie.

Janis reachedfor Regina’s hands that were fiddling frantic and held them tenderly.Even with their growing friendship, Janis still felt awkward in anyintimacy she shared with Regina, little touches like this or sharedsmiles, they were part of their relationship now, but she was stillgetting used to them. In a distant life, Janis thought Regina’s skinwould be as cold as ice, almost like it was meant for you not totouch it, but today she knew she couldn’t be more wrong.

The touch wasalways warm, it doesn’t matter if it was a brush of arms when theywere walking together, or Regina’s fingers touching her face caringwhen she finally let her do her make up, not even when they wereseated together watching a movie and Regina reached for Janis’ legwhen she was nervous. Always warm.

“I’m sorry. Ishouldn’t be telling you this, I mean… You can obviously datewhoever you want.” Regina forced a smile.

“You can tellme how you feel, Regina. That’s what friends do.” Janis, in a boldyet impulsive move, interlaced their fingers and Regina’s smileimmediately fell. Not because of the action, but because of thewords.

“Are we reallyfriends?”

“Of course weare.” Janis took a step closer to Regina.

“But are weonly friends?” Regina asked almost inaudible, with her head down,staring at their hands still connected. Janis furrowed her brows, notunderstanding what the girl asked. “Would you swipe right on me?”

Regina used tobe the kind of girl that knew what she wanted and did everything toget it, she used to make the first move, ask people out, kiss whoevershe wanted, text first. And in many ways, she was still like this,but not with Janis. When it comes to her middle school forbiddenlove, she was always afraid that she would get rejected, that shewould lose a friend or that she would be laughed at.

“Would youswipe right on me?”

It finally hitJanis. Regina wasn’t disgusted or annoyed, she was jealous. Of her.Regina George, the one and only Apex Predator, was jealous of JanisSarkisian, aka Space Dyke.

“I don’t know.What would your bio say?” She joked in an attempt to lighten thesituation and get herself more time to think about what washappening. Regina laughed and threw her head back.

“Fuck, I haveno idea…” She bit her lower lip while thinking about it. “Would‘Queen of Bees’ be too scary?”

“I’ddefinitely press X.”

“What?”Regina jokingly slapped Janis’ arm with her free hand. “I knowyou’d super like me.”

“You wish.”Janis laughed.

“Fine. Justget some random girl at Tinder, I don’t care…” She smiled rollingher eyes.

Janis leaned inRegina’s direction enough that her lips met the girl’s ear lobes andwhispered:

“I can’tbelieve you’re jealous of girls both of us don’t even know.”

“I’m notjealous.” She said offended and Janis raised an eyebrow. “I’mnot! I’m just surprised you’d consider dating a stranger instead ofsomeone you already know.” Regina shrugged.

“Is thereanyone I know that’s interested in me?” They gradually got closer,their faces almost touching and hands still connected.

“You’re quiteobvious, you know…” Regina said almost out of breath and wonderedwhat the hell was happening to her. How could this girl get her soout of balance

“And you’requite an open book yourself.” Janis let their noses brush justenough that she could feel a light press of Regina’s hand. “And Ido have some experience with books.”

Regina laughedand moved a few centimeters, their foreheads slightly touching.

“Don’t go outwith those girls.” She said after a deep breath, her voice almostfailing, a whispered request.

“Give me areason.”

Janis couldn’tmake the first move, she couldn’t lean in and kiss Regina and pressher against the counter touching every exposed part of her skin. Shecouldn’t. She had to wait for the girl to make the first move, sheneeded assurance from her, she needed a proof she wasn’t justimagining this whole conversation.

Regina smiledlightly and closed her eyes. For a second she just allowed a softbrush of their lips, but it didn’t last. She firmly pressed themagainst each other, immediately feeling the softness of the girl’sskin, while Janis felt the texture of lip gloss and let go ofRegina’s hand, grabbing her waist and closing the distance betweentheir bodies.

Regina’s handsquickly moved to her neck and her thumb cozily stroked the girl’sjaw, the former plastic uncertainly moved her lips against Janis’,deepening the kiss and finally allowing Janis to taste her strawberrylip gloss as their tongues played. She felt Janis unhesitatingly movetowards her body until her back met Damien’s kitchen counter andtheir bodies get completely glued. She could feel Janis’ unsteadybreath as her chest went up and down, almost mimicking the movementtheir lips were making, she threw her arms over Janis shoulders andplayed with her hair, feeling the girl’s neck shiver.

Janis slowlyseparated their lips and let them wander around the girl’s cheek andjaw, carefully paying attention to her reactions as she moved closerto her neck. Regina’s breathing got even more out of rhythm whileJanis placed wet kisses and soft bites on her collar bone and neck asshe moved her hands through her waist and pressed her fingers on herskin. Regina’s body seemed about to faint and the only thing keepingher in place were Janis’ hands.

Regina collectedall the strength in her body and brought Janis’ face and lips back tohers. She kissed her passionately and gradually stopped their makeout session pressing small kisses on the girl’s lips until theirbodies cooled down again.

Janis smiledsoftly and her eyes lit in the way they did every time she thought ofsomething funny.

“What is it?”Regina asked leaving a small kiss near the girls mouth.

“I might haveto super like you now.”

[theoddcatlady]

The Edge of the Universe

“All right, Karen, you all set up?”

I nodded and slipped on my headset. “I’ll be speaking to a Mr. Markus Bruno, correct?” Wife beater. Murderer. A truly amazing person, I thought sarcastically.

The coordinator, a man with not enough hair on his head, chewed his bottom lip. “Unfortunately, that will not be the case. He committed suicide about twelve hours ago. Got ahold of another inmate’s medication and took the whole bottle. You’ll be speaking with… Grant Byrd?”

My spine went cold. The coordinator eyed my nametag.

“Huh. Byrd. Same last name as you, nasty coincidence, huh?”

I swallowed, my mouth completely dry. “Y… yeah. All right.”

“Aren’t you curious what he did?”

“No!” I cleared my throat. “No, no, it’s no big deal. They’re all out there for a reason, right?”

The coordinator seemed to eye me over before looking at the clock. “The Chimera will reach the hole in twenty minutes. Talk with him the whole time, make sure to get every detail about what he’s experiencing and what he sees.”

“Got it.” I clicked on the screen, beginning the video call. Thank god the coordinator walked away to talk with the other volunteers for Project: Path to Hades.

 In a few seconds, the call was picked up.

 Grant Byrd hadn’t changed much. He’d lost some hair, put on fifteen to twenty pounds. Now had a different pair of glasses, they were bifocals now. But he was still absolutely the same person.

 And he recognized me just as quickly.

 “K… Karen? Is that you?”

 Again I swallowed but nodded. “Hi dad.”

 He slowly smiled. “Karen! Oh thank god, a friendly face in here is a hard thing to-”

 “Tell me what you see so far.” I cut him off. No. We weren’t talking. We weren’t friendly.

 My father’s expression wilted, before he sighed and looked outside the window of his cell. I could only catch a glimpse of the darkness behind it. “I mean, same old space? Lots of stars. The stars we used to look outside at together… it’s just as pretty out here as you’d think. No sign of, well, The End yet.”

 The End. It’s what we called the black hole so many light years out of our galaxy. Not a threat. But close enough that with our enhanced travel that within fifteen years we could have a ship reach it.

 But we couldn’t send the good, the amazing people out there first. No.

 We sent the pieces of garbage that weren’t allowed to live anymore.

 I nodded and glanced at the clock. “You shouldn’t be seeing it for another… five minutes. Things will go fast then. But you must keep me updated on what you see.”

 “I know I know. It was either this or electric chair within six months. It could be worse.” Dad shrugged. “I learned Chinese? And Spanish. Spanish was easier, since I took it in highschool… how about you, pumpkin? What did you do?”

 I cleared my throat. “Well, after you got sent to this for torturing and murdering my mother and her friends, I… went into psychology. I really enjoyed it. Helped kids from broken families. Got signed into Project Path to Hades due to my personal experience with dealing with bastards like you.”

 My dad seemed to shrink with every harsh insult I sent his way. I didn’t care. It was deserved. His gaze dropped. “I… I see.” He managed a weak smile. “That’s my girl, ya know? Always helping others.”

 Don’t cry, don’t cry. I squeezed my eyes shut and took a deep breath, in and out. “It’s pretty satisfying work. I’m uh… I’m married.” Why was I sharing this with him? I was I bothering? “H… her name’s Georgia. We have a daughter. Her name’s Flossie.”

 “Flossie? Like your mother.” Damn it. I wanted him to yell. Scream. Call me a dyke so I could have an excuse to end the call. I didn’t want to be here anymore. But Dad just looked proud. So proud. Like I’d made his last day perfect. “Georgia? What’s she like? Do you have a picture?”

 I scrambled for my phone, hesitating before I finally pulled up a picture with her and Flossie, the day we were approved for her adoption. Held it up to the camera. Dad smiled even wider, even leaning in closer as if he could get a better look. “Damn, you really got a looker! And your daughter, she’s cuter than a bug in a rug! Almost wish…” He trailed off before he leaned back. “I could meet them.”

 I dropped the phone and readjusted my headset, dropping my gaze. “… I need to ask for your last words, you’re almost there.”

 “… It wasn’t me, baby girl.”

 I slammed my fists down. Damn it. “Fuck you. It was one of your knives that gutted her. You thought she was cheating on you. Her two friends were just collateral- You plead guilty!”

 My dad swallowed, now he was looking away. “Your brother, he committed suicide when he was twenty, right?”

 “What’s your point?”

 Dad looked me dead in the face at that moment.

 “I did own a lot of knives, Karen. But did you ever see me with a red handled pocket knife?”

 My stomach dropped into my shoes. Slowly, I shook my head.

  My dad looked so heartbroken. “I didn’t want your brother’s life to end so soon… guess after he heard what was going to happen to me he uh, couldn’t take it. So he won’t get in trouble, at least.”

 The waterworks couldn’t be held back. I burst into tears and buried my face in my hands. “Dad, you’re going to die! It’s going… it’s going to be awful, why, why didn’t you-”

 “I don’t have regrets.” My dad was perfectly calm now. It was my job to keep him from wigging out, and here I was, bawling my eyes out now that I knew the truth. “It’s okay, pumpkin, I’m not afraid. These last fifteen years, it wasn’t bad. Like I said, I learned some languages. We gotta watch some cool movies… even made one, a movie director got thrown in here. I was the lead, it’ll be sent back to earth. Maybe you’ll see it on the big screen someday.”

 God that was the dad I remembered. Not the man the nation called a murderer. I wiped off my face and then smiled. “I hope so. Is it appropriate enough to show to Flossie?”

 “Nah, wait until she’s sixteen…” My dad trailed off. Something caught his attention. “… We’re here.”

 The ship lurched and my dad fastened a belt around his waist to keep himself from falling from the chair. His face had gone chalk colored, his eyes fastened on the window. “It’s like the pictures. Like someone took a hole puncher to… to space.” The ship lurched again and my dad swallowed. “I love you, you know that Karen? I love you, and your brother, even if he did something wrong. Tell Flossie about relaxing on the roof, counting the stars.”

 “I… I will.”

 The camera started to fuzz. I grabbed the screen. “Dad! I love you too!”

 Silence. I couldn’t see his face anymore. Just static.

 “DAD!”

 Then the screaming started. I jerked back, my headphones ripping from the speaker. I wasn’t the only one to have this reaction apparently as I heard screams come from around the room. Fingers shaking, I plugged it back in.

 He kept screaming. I don’t know when I passed out, but when I woke up I still heard the screaming coming from down the hall. A look at the clock confirmed it had been three hours since they entered The End.

 The End wasn’t killing them. It was keeping them.

 And right before I passed out, I remember hearing one thing.

 A laugh. A sinister laugh.

 “We’ve been waiting for you.”

[spacekin-]

Faggot is a word originally used against gay men. Gay men werent worthy of being burnt at a big stake so they were burned on a small fire of sticks (faggot is the word for small sticks) back then womens sexuality werent recognized because you know sexism so lesbians "didnt exist" and therefore wouldnt be burnt for it anyways its a word that doesnt really apply to women like if a gay man called himself dyke idk if i think its problematic but ya ✌✌✌✌ xx

ok ty ty!!

[spacednp]

Goddamn I love been called queerphobic it’s a good addition to “dyke” and “lesbo” lmaooooo yeah anyway if you want your sexuality to be recognized no one is gonna just know bc it’s out of the social norm so if you want ya mommy to know you’re bisexual when you’ve only brought home boys you gotta tell her she can’t read yo damn mind

assuming someone (dan) is straight is assuming their (dan’s) sexuality and assuming someone (dan) is straight after they (dan) have said on several occasions that they (dan) are not straight is (gay/bi/pan)phobic and fucking gross bye

[count-demonlord-of-decadence]

T’is A Safe Space (There’s No Such Thing)

What was once the Gamma Alpha Phi frat house, has become the The Alison Bechdel Center; a safe space for cis female sexual assault survivors of color. The frat was forced to abandon the place after several members of Sigma Alpha Phi were indicted on multiple counts of sexual assault. And in the two years since it opened, the center welcomed over 200 guests. There was 24 women present that evening, when eight armed assailants stormed in. Those that made for the emergency exits found them barred from the outside. Those who tried to call for help found no internet or cellular signal. Despite being clad in urban grey fatigues, body armor and masks the assailants were clearly women who spoke English. Each was armed with a Heckler & Koch MP7 as well as a full urban combat load. They gathered the women in the lounge and held them at gunpoint until the eccentrics made their entrance. I shall introduce them now so you’re familiar with them.

Entering first was a woman who obviously dyes her short hair blonde. She’s 183 cm tall, weighs 53 kg, has brown eyes and goes by the name Andromache Prentiss. The current U.S. Air Force "Equestrian Competition Service Dress Configuration" with the rank of captain. She carried a sjambok. Following her, was a chubby 15 year old mixed race girl named Star Ash. She wore No. 4WD dress.of the royal navy with the rank of midshipman. She was clearly excited.

Mistress Dokkaebi, hailing from Sejong, entered next wearing an imperial Japanese army officer’s uniform with colonel insignia. She is advertised as the most sadistic dominatrix on the Korean peninsula. She carried a riding crop.

Next was a short, portly black man wearing a U.S. Navy admiral’s Full Dress uniform with rear admiral stripes, but instead of a cutlass he had a katana. An ornate skull was painted on his face, he calls himself Demon Lord. With him was a black woman named Bull Van Dyke. She’s the exact same age, height and weight as Demon Lord, giving them the appearance of siblings. They even have the same haircut. Given how they carried on with each other, one hoped they weren’t. She wore the U.S.M.C. evening dress with the rank of general.

Teah Hawke entered next, cosplaying as Gung-Ho from the G.I. Joe animated series. He is immensely tall (230 cm) and and bulky man (162 kg). He has long, powerful arms and legs, massive hands and feet. He has shoulder-length slick black hair and imposing facial features. Last is Viktor (no surname), hailing from South Sudan. He is very tall at 224 cm. He possesses a hulking, muscular build at 130 kg. His hands are massive enough to close around the entire head of many of his opponents. His bald head is covered by a red beret, he wore desert warfare fatigue pants, a sweat stained tank top and his hands are taped like a boxer’s. Six more women entered dressed in the NWU Type I. They were carrying a storage containers. They are the engineers.

Many of the women were recording with their cell phones when Demon Lord began to speak with an Eastern European accent,

“Permit me to introduce myself, my name is Demon Lord and you are ours. No need to waste your battery and storage space. As you can see my troops are setting up multiple cameras to ensure not one second of what transpires next is lost. Resistance is useless, but encouraged as it adds spice to the situation. Some of you maybe wondering ‘Why me? Why us, here and now?’ Rest assured your enemies did not send us. Nor is this an elaborate revenge plot against you. We stumbled upon your website and scoffed at the notion of this as a safe space. Nowhere is safe; nowhere. Not from us. Prentiss, prep them.”

“Okay ladies,” Prentiss spoke with a heavy Greek accent, “get your clothes off. You can either do it yourselves,” her tone pure malice, “or we can do it for you.”

Star Ash stepped towards the women with one arm full of cheap California Proposition 67 compliant grocery bags and a bag of Sharpie brush pens in every color they offer.

“Feel free to put your belongings in one of these bags,” She spoke like a native New Yorker badly faking a British accent, “and make sure you use one of these markers to put your name on the bag. We don’t want an mix ups now do we…”

Star was grabbed by a black woman in a staff shirt. She huddled behind Star, whispered, “Don’t worry, they can’t hurt you now.” in her ear before calling out, “Okay, you can’t shoot without hitting the girl. If you want to keep the girl safe, you let us go and you let us go now.”

Three of the 24 women noticed that the armed guards were either guarding the exits or setting up the equipment, and not paying attention to them at all.

“You’re making a big mistake Moesha. A big mistake.” Star hissed without the phoney accent.

“How do you know my name?” She asked, and Star answered by hitting her directly on the clitoris with a concealed slungshot then performed a flawless Ippon seoinage on Moesha. From there she transitioned into an armbar. Before any of the others could help Moesha, Teah stepped up to block their path.

“Moesha Bernard,” Star recited with the phony British accent, “27 years old, from San Marino California. She was raped by two of her fellow Marines while on active duty in Afghanistan. Her superiors convinced her not to press charges, as an investigation would compromise active classified operations.” All of the eccentrics and some of the guards laughed at this.

Star released Moesha, only for Teah heft her to her feet by her just strained arm. He pulled out a Timber Rattler Bowie knife, taking time to ensure she recognized the instrument before grabbing the front of her shirt and slicing it open revealing a cheap, generic, white bra. She screamed and flailed wildly in self defense. Teah responded by swiftly shoving his free index and middle fingers into her mouth. If she bit him, he didn’t flinch. He kept manipulating his fingers into her throat until he triggered her vomit reflex. Because he still had his fingers in her mouth, she ended up choking on most of the vomit. When finally removed his fingers, she fell choking and gagging. She could hardly resist as Teah sliced off her stretch pants revealing panties as equally boring as the bra that matched. Those too were sliced off. Teah then revealed his member, seven and fifteen-sixteenths around by eleven inches long and circumcised. He sets to raping Moesha with loud powerful thrusts.

“Any more of you cunts want to do this the hard way?” Star smirked. A different black woman stepped forward and assumed a fighting stance. “Ah, Melissa Reed, 24, of Las Vegas Nevada. The only white guy she ever dated attempted to rape her on their eighth date. She fought him off and successfully had him prosecuted. Ironically, when she learned he himself had been hospitalized with HPV after being brutally gang raped in prison, she tweeted, ‘Good’.”

“C’mon little girl. Why don’t you show me some of that karate you used earlier. Afraid I’ll break my foot off in that fat ass of yours?”

“No.” Star retorted, “But Viktor here, might want to put his foot up, your fat ass.”

Viktor stepped towards the woman and with a speed that defied his size had the woman in a Muay Thai plum. A knee strike, which surely would’ve broken bones, landed just to the right of her navel. This was followed by a fierce uppercut to her jaw that clearly broke it. The way she hit the ground made most observers assume she was dead. He tore her clothes off with his bare hands and raped her with his ten and fifteen-sixteenths inches long by seven and five-eighths around,  uncircumsized penis. Only then did she show signs of life.

“Anymore stupid questions?” Star asked with a wide grin. The collective shook their heads. Star handed each a grocery bag and a marker before  Prentiss loudly struk the wall with the sjambok and shouted the command, “STRIP!” 21 of the women fearfully did so, but one woman swiftly undressed and approached Demon Lord speaking with a Welsh accent.

“If this has gotta happen then lets get it over and be done with. What do ya say big boy? Or perhaps one of the ladies prefer a shag? Not that it matters to me”

“And who the fuck are you?” Demon Lord asked of the short, half white, half black chubby girl.

“That’s Lisa Forester, 22, of Swansea, Wales. She was raped by a former boyfriend two years ago and currently studying abroad.” Star answered on her behalf.

Demon Lord shoved Lisa face first to the tile, pulled out his average sized cock and set to tenderly raping her.

Once all the women were naked, Mistress Dokkaebi stepped forward to inspect them like slaves at an auction. After 349 seconds she selected a small quivering Asian girl doing her best to hide in the back.

“That’s Cindy Liu of San Bernardino California. Her father raped her for the first 11 of her 18 years of her life.” Star quipped, “He was apprehended because he was quite open and honest about it when drunk. He’s currently sentenced to Patton State Hospital.”

Mistress Dokkaebi pulled the girl by her shoulder length hair, cuffed her wrists behind her back, strapped a ball gag in her mouth & shoved her to the tile. She then strapped on a glow in the dark blue Centaur Dildo that measured 6.5 inches long and 4,7 inches in girth, rolled Cindy onto her back forced her knees to her ears and set to raping her. Mistress Dokkaebi called her every misogynistic slur in both English and Korean the entire time.

Bull Van Dyke’s inspection was just as long, but far more flamboyant than Mistress Dokkaebi’s. In the end she selected 30 year old Erva Sunay, sex trafficked out of Izmit Turkey at age nine.

“She was eventually sold to Diego Vargas of the Mexican mob operating in Bakersfield. Erva found and was granted asylum after the DEA raided Diego’s home. Diego is currently serving a life sentence in Kern Valley State Prison.” Star commentated.

Bull Van Dyke secures the girl in a bondage frame set up by the engineers. She attaches weighted nipple clamps to Erva’s rather large nipples. She then finger bangs Erva in a way she can’t help but get physical pleasure from. Her technique was astonishing.

Teah had finished with Moesha, giving Prentiss the chance to select 31 year old Kristen Skerritt who was trying to hide in the back of the group. Star explained, ”Kristen is a product of the Canadian foster care system. She was molested in four of the five homes they placed her in. Her efforts to combat rape culture brought here. She was instrumental in the seizing and conversion of this building.”

Prentiss had the girl secured to a different bondage frame and attacks her with the sjambok. Sixty percent of her blows land on Kirsten’s anus and vagina, 20% to her rather large breasts and the remainder her back and buttocks. Kirsten begs for someone to help her. Two of the girls dash towards two guards who are chatting and smoking, and beg for escape. The guards do nothing but halt their conversation and prevent the girls escape until Teah dragged them back by their hair. The guards then returned to their conversation as though nothing out of the ordinary had happened. Teah shoved the Arab one into the group toppling four of them. The Mexican one he shoved face first to the floor and raped her more violently than he did Moesha. There was lots of biting and choking from Teah this time. Viktor had finished with Melissa and was intimidating the remaining girls as Star proceeded to shove her foot up the Melissa’s ass, using only her own tears as lubricant, as she commentated.

“That’s 29 year old Eliza Jimenez of Moreno Valley, Teah. When she was 16, she ran away from home because her parents wouldn’t let her date. She was abducted Anthony Mayweather who held her prisoner for five years. He beat and raped her daily for those years before falling victim to a drunk driver. Eliza was found 16 days after Mayweather’s death in an emaciated state.”

“That explains her lack of resistance.” Teah  quipped. All the eccentrics laughed.

Demon Lord had left Lisa weeping in the fetal position, allowing Viktor to grab an obese Mexican girl. “This one is 31 year old Maria Galavez. She was sex trafficked out of Tijuana Mexico 19 years ago. She uses food to cope with her history of abuse.” Star said, finally getting her entire foot up Melissa’s ass with some help from Demon Lord.

Viktor provides her with a box of Nilla Wafers to eat as her rapes her. Viktor hammers her pussy until she eats every single last one. She quietly cried the entire time. Mistress Dokkaebi had just finished with Cindy, leaving Demon Lord free to grab the near catatonic black woman by her dreadlocks. Star explains, “41 year old Cassandra Manigat hails from Jacmel, Haiti and lost everything in the Earthquake of 2010. She had to turn to prostitution to survive. She emigrated to the US in 2016 and in fact was the third patron of The Alison Bechdel Center.”

Demon Lord rapes her vaginally and anally, providing color commentary as we went. No one listened to a word of it either.

Bull was finished with Erva, allowing Mistress Dokkaebi to ask Star which one was the youngest remaining. “That would be 22 year old Reshma Darvish of Yucaipa California.” Star replied after abandoning her shoe in Melisa’s ass. “Three years ago, her date attempted to rape her. Her resistance was sufficient to keep her chastity intact, but allowed her attacker to plead out and only serve 30 days in jail. Interestingly, this was very first date she ever went on.”

Like Cindy, Mistress Dokkaebi pulled the girl by her waist long hair, cuffed her wrists behind her back, strapped a ball gag in her mouth & shoved her to the tile. She then strapped on a Glow in the Dark Green and Blue Marble Xenuphora Alien Tentacle Dildo that measured 6.75 inches long and has circumference of 4.5 inches at the base. She then rolled Reshma onto her back forced her knees to her ears and set to raping her. Mistress Dokkaebi called her every misogynistic slur in both English and Korean the entire time too.

Prentiss took over watch, and Bull Van Dyke asked Star which one remaining was the oldest. “45 year old Selena Lopez of San Juan, Puerto Rico. She was gang raped while active duty in the USAF 22 years ago. Though the evidence confirms multiple attackers, only one was charged and convicted. T Sgt Arnold Hood confessed to the crime and claimed no other individuals were involved. He died in prison. Though ruled a suicide, to describe the circumstances as suspicious would be an understatement.” Star replied while tying a new shoe provided by the engineers. It didn’t match her original though.

Bull secured the woman in a vacated bondage frame, and ridiculed the woman for dying the grey out of her hair before setting a cheap and loud vibrator on it’s highest setting and shoving it up Selena’s ass with no lube. Her scream brought a cheer from the eccentrics. Prentiss ordered the engineers to take pictures of Selena’s face with everyone’s confiscated cell phones. Bull then set to fingering the woman’s hairy vagina, and sucking her clit with a skill and technique that assured physical pleasure.

Teah took over for Prentiss who targeted 31 year old Candy Velez. Star would explain, “Originally from San Bernardino California, Candy here was abducted by remnants of Shining Path back in 2003, while visiting her maternal grandparents. They had their way with her for 227 days before she was rescued by government forces. She claims to be a lesbian because of it.” The eccentrics laughed at this. Prentiss secures the woman in a vacant bondage frame and has at her with a cat o nine tails. She doesn’t stop beating her until it’s her turn to be guard again.

After spitting in Maria’s face, Viktor takes over for Teah. Teah targets the only woman remaining who shows defiance. She attempts to defend herself with the amateur boxing skill she had.

“That’s Shirley Whitehorse of Pawnee descent. She’s 28 and was raped on the reservation when she was 16. Her mother moved her and her siblings to Southern California when the crime wasn’t investigated.” In the time it took Star to say this, Teah had defeated Shirley. He held her down and anally raped her, pulling her hair and biting her ears until they bled.

Demon Lord relieved Viktor, who then selected the largest girl remaining as Star explained, “That’s Desire Kolone of Yucaipa California. She’s 25 years old and of Samoan descent. She was raised a tomboy and fell in love with skateboarding. She was gonna go pro until she was raped by some of her fellow skaters. She pressed charges against her attackers. They were prosecuted, convicted and given the harshest sentence possible. So harsh that on appeal their sentence was reduced to time served plus the mandatory minimum sentence. All three are free at this time.” Viktor choked Desire until she lost consciousness then anally raped her. Every time she came to, he repeated the process.

As soon as Mistress Dokkaebi had finished with Reshma, Demon Lord leapt at the Filipino woman attempting to hide behind the others. “That’s 33 year old Samantha Affleck of Loma Linda California. On two separate occasions she successfully fought off a man who attempted to rape her. She too claims the experience made her a lesbian.” Star quipped. The eccentrics laughed again. Demon Lord raped her like it’s depicted in Hollywood movies, lots of harsh thrusting, guttural noises and face licking.

Bull Van Dyke was eating some supermarket sushi and dried mango slices when she relieved Mistress Dokkaebi. Star introduced Mistress Dokkaebi’s next victim, “This is 39 year old Sadia Ali. Born in Dera Ghazi Khan, Pakistan, she was sold into marriage at age 14. In order to escape her fate she fled, but had to prostitute herself to survive. She a rising voice against sex trafficking and child marriages and is here to bring recognition to the The Alison Bechdel Center.  But still remains a devout Muslim woman.”

“Is that right?” Mistress Dokkaebi spoke nigh perfect English, “Bring me her hijab.”

Sadia tried to resist, but a raised hand from Mistress Dokkaebi was enough to quell it. Sadia was secured in a bondage frame and gagged. Star put Sadia’s hijab on her as Mistress Dokkaebi strapped on a crimson Mr Ed anatomically correct horse dildo that measured 17 inches long, with five and a half inches of girth. She then vaginally raped the girl, once again uttering every imaginable misogynistic slur in both English and Korean.

“Tell me about the one with the henna art on her.” Bull commanded, giving Prentiss the hint that her time was up. Star replied, “That’s 37 year old Nadia Kulthum of Perris California. She enlisted in the U.S. Army at age 18, but was severely beaten and raped on 14 September 2001 by a group of her fellow soldiers. No one was prosecuted because her assailants covered for each other and the anti Arab sentiment of the time. Ironically she’s an atheist who has a youtube channel that highlights the evils of Islam.”

Bull unleashed a series of punches, kicks, elbows and knee strikes on Nadia, ensuring she’s docile. She the performs cunnilingus on Nadia while penetrating her anus with a pink, silicone Dylan The Dolphin dildo.

Teah helped himself to some supermarket sushi, a Hostess Sno Ball and a Modelo Chelada Especial before giving Prentiss her turn. Prentiss inspected the remaining women for 445 seconds before selecting the most hirsute one remaining. “This is Carmen Ramirez of San Bernardino California. She and her brother were in a gang, and their fellow gang members gang raped her because she was declared off limits by her brother. No one was ever prosecuted because of the no snitching rule.” Star’s last line generated laughter from the eccentrics. Carmen is secured in a bondage frame, and given 44 strokes with the sjambok; most of which land on her breasts. Prentiss then forced her fist into Carmen’s mouth, vagina and anus while pricking her with a hat pin.

Viktor has some supermarket fried chicken legs and a Smirnoff Ice Peach Bellini, while Teah takes a curly haired Hispanic girl. Star was drinking a glass of Tannat wine from Uruguay as she spoke, “ This is 23 year old Margarita Salazar, born in Mejicanos El Salvador. She worked hard, honestly and legally to earn enough money to illegally enter the United States. The human traffickers she bargained with wanted more from her than just cash though. The fate of those traffickers is unknown, but no one was ever prosecuted in her case, specifically. She was granted refugee asylum last year.”

Margarita is hysterically flailing, which only serves to arouse Teah. He pins her to the tile and vaginally rapes her, encouraging her to scream, bellow and cry.

Demon Lord urinated on Cassandra and helped himself to some supermarket fried chicken wings and a twix bar before Viktor could proceed. He selected the penultimate black woman in the group of the untouched. Star refilled her wine glass, purposely making a mess as she spoke, “25 year old Mirembe Mbabazi’s earliest memory is the day Interahamwe raided her Ugandan village. They killed her parents and her brother. She and her two sisters were taken by the terrorists. She was 11 at the time. They held and abused her for 812 days. One night, they held a gun in her hands and made her shoot her two sisters. She escaped into the wilderness the next night. She was rescued by U.N. peacekeepers. Eventually she applied for refugee status and the U.S. granted her asylum in 2011. She currently resides in Thousand Palms, California with a boyfriend ignorant of her past trauma.” Viktor rapes her vaginally and anally, like he’s trying to break her pelvis. The guards and engineers discussed if he would succeed or not. Star took bets to see if he would.

Mistress Dokkaebi had cheap champagne and supermarket potato salad, freeing up Demon Lord to select the most petite woman of all the women present. Star introduced her.

“This is 23 year old Mya Simpson, born Mya Sein. She was sex trafficked out of Magway, Myanmar at age six. At 13 she was caught in a prostitution sting and arrested. The courts sympathized with her plight and allowed a lesbian Los Angeles couple to adopt her. She’s studying to get a degree in gender studies.” This last line was booed by the eccentrics, Mistress Dokkaebi hurled a spoonful of supermarket potato salad at Mya, hitting her right between her modest bosom.

“Nice shot.” Star quipped with a wink, to which Mistress Dokkaebi replied, “Not really. I was aiming for her left eye.”

Mya submitted to Demon Lord’s touch like it was old hat, because it was. This took the fun out of it for Demon Lord. He punched her, kicked her, bit her, choked her, whiped her with a leather thong and raped her vaginally, anally and orally. And she just went along with it with vacant eyes. It wasn’t anything she hadn’t experienced before. But it didn’t stop him.

Bull Van Dyke was eating a slice of 7 Eleven cheese pizza when she gave Mistress Dokkaebi the go ahead. She selected a Hindu woman with the largest nipples of any person present.

“That’s Sara Nagaratnamma, age 33. She was sex trafficked out of Handwara, Kashmir at age 12. She escaped forced prostitution, married, gained U.S. citizenship and then divorced. She’s a self professed man hater and…” Star couldn't stop herself from laughing at this point, “Adversary of the patriarchy.” All the eccentrics laughed at this as well. Mistress Dokkaebi secured Sara in a bondage frame and anally raped her with a Lex Steele realistic dildo strapped on. While raping her, Mistress Dokkaebi strangled Sara with a turquoise Vera Wang scarf, and again, shouted every imaginable misogynistic slur in both English and Korean at her.

Prentiss had to wash her hands before taking a slice of 7 Eleven cheese pizza, adding ranch dressing to it, before Bull Van Dyke could take the last black woman. Star described her while eating Boston Baked Beans, “Monique Kelly is 25 years old. Two years ago, she was gang raped by the rival gang of her brother, in retaliation for him raping a male member of their gang while in prison. Unlike Carmen Ramirez, Monique has never been a member of any gang.”

Bull has the woman secured in a bondage frame and used pussy pumps on Monique’s vagina and nipples, vacuuming them in place before anally raping her with a rather large cucumber.

Teah took over to let Prentiss have the last woman remaining.

“This is 30 year old Janice Torre of San Diego California.” Star explained between bites of a slice of 7 Eleven cheese pizza, “She was raped while on active duty in the United States Navy. Though she pressed charges, arrests were made and a trial was convinced; the charges were dropped due to insufficient evidence. The subsequent investigation into evidence tampering in the Navy also yielded no results.”

Prentiss secured Janice in a bondage frame, and forced a mannequins hand up her ass. Then she penetrated the woman’s cunt with the sjambok, lubricating it with her juices before striking her about the breasts and inner thighs with it.

At Teah’s command, the guards cuffed and hoodwinked all the used women and had disturbingly casual conversations with the engineers about sports and politics while waiting for the eccentrics to finish. As each did, they joined in the food, drink and conversation. Prentiss was the last to finish. After all the women were cuffed and hoodwinked, Star confirmed that Mirembe Mbabazi’s pelvis was not broken, collecting and giving money as needed. Demon Lord then retrieved a Mossberg 500 shotgun, loudly pumping it near the hooded heads of the women. The eccentrics reveled in their terror. After going quiet for about nine minutes to let them calm down a bit, he shot Moesha Bernard. There was screaming and panic. After 90 seconds he shot Kristen Skerritt. After another 90 second interval, he shot Selena Lopez. 90 seconds later he shot Candy Velez, waited 90 seconds then shot Nadia Kulthum. Finally, after another 90 seconds, he shot Janice Torre.

The eccentrics, guards and engineers then cleaned up all traces of their presence and departed. It was hours later when the women were rescued and learned that Demon Lord had shot those six with non lethal rounds.

The Alison Bechdel Center closed that next day, never to reopen.

[animalfactsus]

Dogs 101 Papillon – Interesting Papillon/Phalene Dog Fun Facts

Dogs 101 Papillon – Interesting Papillon/Phalene Dog Fun Facts

The Papillon, his name literally means butterfly. He’s been painted by old masters such as Rubens, van Dyke, and Rembrandt. Today, he is a happy, alert and friendly companion with a take-charge personality. Amaze your friends with these interesting facts about this highly active little go-getter.

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10. The word papillon, meaning “butterfly,” in French refers to his fringed upright ears, which resemble a butterfly’s outspread wings. The breed also comes in a drop-eared variety called the Phalene, which means “moth,” a cousin of the butterfly that folds its wings at rest. Both varieties can be born of the same litter, although the Papillon is the more popular variety. Despite the distinction, Papillons and Phalenes are recognized as one breed.

9. The early toy spaniels from which the Papillon descended had drop ears, but in the 17th-century court of Louis XIV a small spaniel with upright ears was developed and given the name Papillon for his resemblance to a butterfly. But he has gone by other names and nicknames throughout the centuries. He’s sometimes called the Butterfly Dog or Squirrel Dog, along with Belgian Toy Spaniel; Continental Toy Spaniel; and Dwarf Continental Spaniel.

8. The Papillon was bred as a ratter in order to rid homes of pests. This adorable dog was too small to directly kill a rat like other breeds, so he had to use clever methods. His main strategy was to bait the rat and tease it until it became exhausted. Once the rat was too run down to fight back, the Papillon could make his final move.

7. The Papillon is very outgoing and happy. He loves to be around people and gives kisses to one and all. These little dogs get along well with other pets in the household, including cats, and frequently try to boss bigger dogs around. Paps also love kids, as long as they are gentle and non-threatening.

6. Though the Papillon is registered as a toy breed, don’t expect him to lounge on your lap. This high-energy dog needs a lot of activity to keep him stimulated. He is highly intelligent and gets bored easily, but responds well to interactive games or agility training.

5. If you keep your papillon engaged and let him get plenty of exercise, he is otherwise low-maintenance. He can do fine in both hot and cold weather and thrives in both homes and apartments. Even during puppy-birth, the papillon generally has no problem whelping healthy litters.

4. You’ll find Papillons in a rainbow variety of colors, with various combinations including black, brown, red, lemon, sable and tan. All colors are acceptable, but in a show dog white has to be in there somewhere. Papillons that are all white or that have no white is faulted in judging.

3. n the bestselling book “The Intelligence of Dogs,” neuropsychologist Stanley Coren ranked the relative intelligence of the various dog breeds. Papillons came in as the eighth-smartest breed. Although Papillons are rambunctious, they are also friendly, excited to learn and eager to train, due to their high intelligence.

2. When the actress Lauren Bacall passed away in 2014, she left behind $26.6 million, which was split among her three children—as well as her beloved papillon. The dog, named Sophie, was given a whopping $10,000 in order to maintain the lavish lifestyle she had grown accustomed to. The money is being looked after by Bacall’s youngest son, Sam Robards, who is in charge of pampering the dog in Bacall’s absence.

1. The ill-fated Queen of France, Marie Antoinette had many dogs during her short reign, but her favorite was reportedly a papillon named Coco. There are rumors that Marie actually walked to the guillotine desperately clutching her beloved pooch. But some accounts maintain that she gave the dog to the governess of her children. Regardless, Coco survived the French Revolution and even lived through the Napoleonic era. At the age of 22, the old dog died and was buried just a short walk from where her owner was beheaded. A small square headstone still marks where the dog was laid to rest.

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