#dying buddies

[sparring-spirals]

So. I think its worth noting that Laudna works to match the energy of other people in conversations, and I think its most evident here, with Ashton, but i feel like it is something she generally does. And she's, honestly, very good at.

Despite the cheery demeanor and the *waves hands around black goo* Laudna, especially in one on one conversations, will- be a little more hopeful, comforting, with a rattled Imogen. Gleeful and enthused with Fearne and fire, appreciative of fine art and craftsmanship with Chetney. And like, not within absurd extents, people do this all time.

But with Ashton, it becomes VERY apparent, because Ashton's vulnerability and Ashton's talks with Laudna especially are laid on foundations of. Harsh honesty. Pressing into bruises to see where the other person is hurt (to let them know you see them, that you're there for them). And Laudna matches it! Its something that's very- lots of teeth, but not quite a threat. They trade harsh questions and dismissive statements and painful honesty, a barter of vulnerability and discomfort. It is a sign of- respect.

And this conversation, I think, shows the extent to which Laudna has figured out how to navigate this, with Ashton, specifically. The barbed questions, the tit-for-tat of statements that press into recent bruises and offer up your own. It is not perfected yet, there are still statements that brush too far, moments where they bite back reflexively, where they mean it- i know loneliness. i literally pledged myself to one of the worst people Ive ever met, to work for them for years, for a bunch of people I haven't seen since.

But at the end of it all, Laudna cuts the hovering, the layers of back and forth, and sinks in a little deeper- "I've never known such kindness. And maybe, Ashton, you should cut yourself some slack, and let yourself feel the same."

At the end of it all- Ashton answers her questions, in their own way- about his past, about their losses, about the love for this new group and the fear with that.

"You know, I love you all, just a little bit."

"And you hate us just a little bit too."

They ask "Did you just what The Fuck Is Up With That me?" and that's the crux of it, right? Learning languages, prickly as they are.

[beets]

[buck flirts with a man] [a wild eddie appears]

[atelierlili]

I always wondered why Katniss factored marriage and children into the equation when it came to reciprocating Peeta’s feelings for her. It’s a rather large leap, especially when Peeta himself never expresses wanting children at any point in the story. He uses children as a tool to persuade Katniss and the Capital to save her life, but the only time we see him express any desire/feelings of having one of his own is when he’s crying after the baby bomb. But we never hear his real thoughts.

But you wanna know who does express wanting children? Gale.

It’s one of the first thing he mentions in chapter one. And it pisses her off so much.

(I also want to add that Gale reframes/establishes the dynamic of Katniss and him caring for their siblings from something that is sibling-sibling to parent-sibling. And he is not wrong. Katniss doesn’t refute him. Both Katniss and Gale are surrogate parents to their siblings. Which is also why Katniss love and affection of Prim, is not just sisterly. I’ve seen people say Katniss is only sisterly to Prim- but she’s not. She’s parentified their relationship to the point she subconsciously see Prim as her child, which makes this a tragedy because she’ll loose her first child no matter what she does by the end of the story.)

But Gale’s phrasing here elevates himself as a potential suitor to Katniss by placing them both as the parental roles to these children. (Which irritates her a lot ). Which is why she brings the topic up with her relationship with Peeta. Because she’s subconsciously aware of Gale’s efforts and knows it will be a point of contention between them. It hangs over her head in a way.

With Gale, children are extra mouths to feed. (But Gale will do fine. He can work. He can hunt.) It’s all framed with calculated survival in mind. But it’s also not something she had planned in the future at any point.

But Peeta’s children? Oh they deserve to be born because Peeta deserves to be a father. He would be such a good father. They deserve to exist in a world where they can be safe and happy. (Even if it’s not with her.)

This is also why I think she subconsciously sees Peeta’s baby as her own. And I don’t think of it as a cruel/heartless thing, it’s just you’d be more protective of your own child compared to someone else’s. Katniss sees Gale as a reliable person who’s equipped to look after a kid. She doesn’t express the same kind of maternal instinct/yearning for the Baby Hawthrone’s safety as she does with the idea of Baby Mellark, because she doesn’t think of Gale’s child as her own. She never hopes for a better future for them, but she does with Peeta because he and that baby gives her hope. And she loves him that much.

[wolfchans]

mission: do a sexy spell!

[warpedpuppeteer]

eddie: hey buck how does my mustache look?

eddie: buck?? where are you??

chim: who do you think gave you the sideburns to make that mustache eddie 😔

[pali-and-proud]

I could write essays on this moment. Guys.

I love that the focus here isn't Chase keeping a secret--which Buddy knew--but it's the fact that Chase told Buddy Prunella was his cat.

I love that Chase's spur-of-the-moment lie about Prunella, which was treated as a joke and mostly laughed off bc haha, Chase is freaking out, look at our silly boy and his silly reactions, is what Buddy fixates on. Like would Buddy have been upset over them having a third key? Absolutely. But if Chase had been even mildly less bad about revealing everyone's names all the time, I genuinely don't think Buddy would have been THIS hurt.

Also--I love that expression. I love that it's not quite hurt, and it's not quite angry, and it's not quite confused, but somehow a mix of all three. You can so clearly see that Buddy doesn't even know where to start, because the realization that Chase actually lied to him was so unexpected.

Chase lying to him was unexpected. Buddy, the paranoid overthinker who recieved a bag of food and assumed there was a catch, who was offered a place to stay and assumed it was a trap, who openly said his life "usually depended on NOT trusting people," didn't expect Chase to lie to him. I am ill.

[pocketsizededdiediaz]

can we all just imagine 8b starting with Eddie walking around, packing up and Buck is helping but he looks up and Eddie's exasperated, hair falling out of place, huge hands combing it desperately, and then Whatta Man starts playing while Buck just holds a pan in his hand and stares? Tim? Hello? did you hang up on me?

[blurredbuddie]

We now have both of them in a black tank top. I--

[teatitty]

Iruka figuring out he has feelings for Kakashi would have him acting like its a category 10 catastrophic event, sirens blaring, full panic mode, I have to sprint away from him right now effective immediately meanwhile Kakashi figuring out he has feelings for Iruka is just a simple "Ohhhhhhh yeah that explains a lot!" and then he turns to Kurenai and is like "Hey as the only person here with a functional relationship how do you go about asking out the guy you like" because everyone knows Asuma is a fucking disaster and Kurenai was definitely the one to make the first move

[sparring-spirals]

And the other side of this, of like- Imogen and Laudna acting so differently around Ashton, versus around each other. If you put the three of them together something different (something regular?) spills out. But when they talk, just Ashton to Laudna and just Imogen to Ashton- the common threads stay strung out between them.

Ashton and Imogen talk about each other, and mention Laudna, the agreed similarities between Ashton and Laudna like a shorthand for understanding more, like a glossary in a textbook.

Laudna and Ashton talk about themselves, but refer to Imogen like a thing of admiration, like a wonder. A mirrored fascination like a shared road, like a steady standard, like moths to a flame.

Its not the same as getting them all in a room, we've seen that to an extent. It's like- lights, and crystals, and threads, fuck if i know, things strung up and shining when the light hits them differently and refracting into new colors and directions. Its not a balancing act, exactly, its like a chemical equation.

[peaksaturation]

WIP... let me know if you want a tag on the final edit 🧡 -- 🎥 EDITS MASTERLIST 🎶 🌟 group by media, character/ship, or all (top bar) 🌟 sort, filter, or search (top right) 🌟 click to open details incl. links to all soc media

[pinkponydiaz]

forget baking, buck bought a motorcycle to distract himself every time he wants to tell eddie not to go, eddie goes anyway, i cannot get over the idea that he doesn’t tell chris that he’s moving, just that he’ll be visiting, because eddie is a crazy girl like that, and on like day 3 he hasn’t heard from buck, he brings chris to the new place to see his room, chris freaks on him ‘what do you mean we live here now what happened to our house???’ and eddie realizes he made choices for everyone again without actually asking what people wanted, and he calls buck to talk it through after chris storms into his new room and slams the door but buck isn’t answering, and eddie knows it’s been different that last couple of days since he got here, but buck was still texting him back, and he knows today is the middle of 48 off, so what is buck doing that he won’t answer, maybe buck is finally admitting to himself he’s pissed at eddie about this, eddie considers what this move is doing to buck if eddie didn’t ever want to move back to el paso, chris doesn’t want to live there and wants their house back in la, and buck didn’t want eddie and chris to be a thousand miles away, and now eddies sure that buck is upset with him and that’s why he’s not answering but buck is not answering because his motorcycle went under a semi, and he’s currently being life flighted off the 110, with his phone laying on the asphalt, face up, a picture of eddie looking goofy as f from the bachelor party flashing on the screen.

[wistaliia]

Sorry I can't go out I'm busy tonight

[saltynametag]

Viktor was dying. At no point did I read shame in what he felt towards his own body. It was frustration. He was dying. He wasn't trying to rid himself of something embarrassing; he was trying to survive. I feel like Jayce's line highlights the fundamental disconnect between Piltover and Zaun.

Zaunites aren't fighting for a better life because they're ashamed. They want to make it to tomorrow. That's all Viktor wanted. To not have his life cut short by his illness, to go on another day so he could continue his research, to keep living. But he was met with pity and shrugs, so he took matters into his own hands. Jayce might've loved Viktor flaws and all, but actively dying is not a flaw. Being sick is not a flaw. Being in pain every single day is not a flaw. You can admire Viktor for working through it all, for the strength of his character, for his grit and determination in the face of adversity.

But he was broken.

His body was betraying him and Jayce would've lost him a lot sooner had Viktor just shrugged like everyone else did. He didn't have time to be ashamed of his disability. And he never was...

He was dying.

[bidisasterevankinard]

I find it so fascinating that canonically both Eddie and Buck can't remember how the other one put his life on the line to save his partner. Eddie never saw Buck crawl under engine for him under bullets, Buck never saw how Eddie was without his rope on the ladder putting him down. They never heard how other one screamed their name in agony. And they never talked about it properly. And I'm 100% sure both try to convince themself as it wasn't then dying it not their trauma

[vynnyal]

Finally finishing totk