#dwight quote

[tiefy]

Flint: Silver is my enemy, but it turns out that Silver is also his own worst enemy. And the enemy of my enemy is my friend. So Silver is actually my friend. But, because he is his own worst enemy, the enemy of my friend is my enemy. So actually, Silver is my enemy. But-

[bottleblondebeachbabe]

[theres-a-body-here]

Creep!reader: "I'm afraid I can't help you sheep"

Meg: "WHAT?!"

Creep!reader: "Something like that requires massive arcane power and mastery to be even be able to pierce through the fog. Also... the Entity may or may not have rather compromising photos of me and Ghostface, so I'd rather not get involved"

Dwight: "S-She may or may not have pictures of you two in full fursuits? Cuz I may or may not have been there"

Creep!reader: "Actually, we may or may not have been covered in baby oil"

Jake, sighing heavily: "Ugh...well I guess the Entity wins"

Élodie: "..."

Élodie: "can we see the pictur—"

Creep!reader: "Get the hell out of my realm"

[cninzihni]

[flamie-42]

bsd x the office

Dazai: *clicks pen* Ranpo: *nods and clicks pen* Kunikida: I know you’re talking about me in morse code. Dazai: Yeah, cause in our very limited about of free time, we learnt an outdated, unnecessary form of communication just so we could talk about you in front of you. Yosano: *sighing* That’s exactly what they did.

[hiro--aoki]

TWD Incorrect Quotes from my classmates

Tw: contains swear words, mention of sex, use of slut and maybe some other offense things, idk

Michonne: Because your minds are still developing you want to….

Y/N: Do drugs!

Michonne: Take more risks…

Y/N: Nah…

Michonne: A risk is any unsafe action or stupid, thoughtless and careless behaviour.

Carl to Y/N: Literally me.

*Coughs that sound like an erupting volcano*

Abraham: My tummy hurts.

Michonne: Can you name three risks?

Merle: Sex with no protection!

Carl: A gun with no safety on!

Y/N: Having a forehead as big as Merle’s!

Deanna: So, we have codes A, C and D.

Rick: Why not code B? Where’s the B????

Aaron: B-cause.

Glenn: You should b- ashamed of yourself…. I’m not funny

Maggie: You’re not funny

Deanna: So, code A stands for….?

Daryl: Ass!

Eugene: Acceptable!

Aaron: Yeah *fistbump*

Y/N: Nerd!

Deanna: What about code C?

Maggie: Coffee.

Eugene: Calculated!

Deanna: Yes! How about code D?

Abraham: Deez nuts!

Sasha: Dangerous!

Carol: Destructive!

Deanna: Yeah! You guys concern me!

Y/N: Ron, shut up you acoustic monk.

Glenn: Guys I accidentally wrote relationhips instead of relationships.

Carl: Y/N, has relationhips.

Y/N: What’s that supposed to mean?!?!

Y/N: Carl, has a shirt that says ‘ Roblox is life’ shirt, and he said it suits me.

Negan: Feel how soft my water bottle is.

Simon: Stop stroking your water bottle like that!

Michonne: What’s something that was legal, but was a destructive decision?

Merle: Weed!

Enid: I wanna jump off a cliff.

Y/N: I wanna kiss a 12 gauge.

Enid: My dad jumped out of a plane without a parachute…

Carl: My dad is a plane.

Andrea: My butt hurts.

Dale: *Gives strange look*

Andrea: You’re looking at me like you wanna fuck me.

Dale: What?

Shane: Ha!

Dale: No, I actually didn’t hear.

Amy: Real.

Negan: Did you wash your ass today?

Michonne: So, tell me an example of a safety risk?

Merle: Your mom

Michonne: …and some conatin cannabis

Judith: These gummies tastes funny.

*Watching a budget direct ad and Captain Risky comes on*

Jesus: Smash

Ron: Bro’s him

Daryl: I mean he has all the skills

Carl: Bluds the main character

Y/N: You look like a potato

Dwight: You look like a trash can

Y/N: Nuh uh

Dwight: Yeah uh

Negan: Dwight, keep working *Lightly caresses the shovel Dwight’s hand*

Y/N: Stop!

Dwight: Stop it I don’t like it!

Y/N: Yes, we are Sluts

Rosita: Sexy Ladies Under Tonnes of Stress

Y/N: I can’t make a decision that big, I can’t even tie my own shoes!

Enid: Please tell me you’re joking.

Y/N: I’m not, I tie them like a three-year old! Let me show you!

Enid: No, no thanks…

Y/N: Watch my feet! Watch my shoes. *Ties laces with two loops*

Enid: Ew *visibly cringes*

Carl: …I just asked if you wanted pancakes or waffles….

Glenn: Look how much funny shit we said today.

Daryl: I can’t it’s too black

Glenn: Ayo?

Daryl: I meant too dark!

Y/N: Nah!

*Glenn adjusts lighting*

Daryl: Now it’s too white!

Y/N: !!!

Daryl: Too bright! Too bright!

Negan: BALLS

Y/N: Gotta rizz ‘em with the ‘tism

Negan: I’m a Savior….save ya mom!

*Carl and Ron carrying a log*

Enid: For a second I thought that was in their ass’s

Y/N: I want them up my ass

Enid: What?

Y/N: What?

*Truck passes*

Daryl: Awww yeah, listen to tha’

Y/N: I can smell the air…

Daryl: No shit, sherlock!

Glenn: Don’t judge a book by it’s-

Eugene: Erm actually, it’s in the human instincts system, for us to make a quick judgement on a person appearance to determine whether they are friend or foe.

Y/N: Oooh, did I appear friend or foe when you first saw me?

Eugene: Well, when I first encountered you, you looked like you couldn’t hurt a fly, but since then, I have realised my mistake and have grown scared of you.

Rosita: He’s scared of everything…

Eugene: Not pickles!

Beth: What song do you wear?

[officertired]

[dreaminginthedeepsouth]

This political cartoon will be relevant as long as the US continues to exist.

* * * * *

“Every gun that is made, every warship launched, every rocket fired signifies in the final sense, a theft from those who hunger and are not fed, those who are cold and are not clothed. This world in arms is not spending money alone. It is spending the sweat of its laborers, the genius of its scientists, the hopes of its children. This is not a way of life at all in any true sense. Under the clouds of war, it is humanity hanging on a cross of iron.” ― Dwight D. Eisenhower

[blot-squisher]

Evan: You have beautiful eyes

Dwight: Ahha, thanks, they don’t work at all

[dead-by-mending]

Moar Dbd as Russian Badger quotes

Danny : I don't misinform. I just lie.

Aestri, hearing a terror radius : A great evil is coming...

Feng, who recognized the Twins' terror radius : That great evil is the damn French

Yun-Jin whenever Dwight tries to say anything : Yo, 7.25$ an hour, shut the fuck up

Joey, getting matched against Lisa : The purpose of this trial is to violate the Geneva convention

Ace : You are 36 games of blackjack away from being a billionaire

Jeff : I will eat bread and butter by the slice

Jonah : No you won't !

Jeff : I WILL !!!

Jonah : AAA- *DC's*

Ji-woon : *Plays the first note of Megalovania*

Every survivor in the trial : NO

[busraspostsblog]

[blackswaneuroparedux]

I sat silently just reviewing these things maybe, I’d say, thirty-five or forty-five seconds. Now it’s been reported by some of the people present for example my own Chief of Staff says that’s five minutes, well I know that wasn’t - but five minutes under such conditions sounds like a year. Actually I’d think after thirty, forty-five seconds something like that I just got up and said okay, we’ll go and, uh, every - this room was emptied in two seconds. Well of course that’s the most terrible time for the senior commander, he’d done all that he can do, all the planning and matter of fact there’s very little more that any commander above division command can do anything once you get started. And then finally along about six in the evening I went over to the field from which the airborne, the American airborne, started out. And um, there was a very fine experience. They were getting ready and all camouflaged and their faces blackened and all this. And there they saw me and of course they recognised me and they said, ah, quit worrying General we’ll take care of this thing for you. And that kind of thing was a good feeling. As they started off, I watched them out of sight.

- General Dwight D. Eisenhower

Gen. Dwight D. Eisenhower talks with paratroopers of the 101st Airborne Division in Newbury, England, on 5 June 1944, prior to their departure for their role in the D-day invasion, dropping behind enemy lines. The soldier with a “23” tag was a fellow Kansan, Lt. Wallace C. Strobel.

[bottleblondebeachbabe]

[sunderingstars]

sampo: identity theft isn’t a joke

sparkle: haven’t you stolen like three identities in the past week?

sampo: that’s besides the point

[guybracha]

That is the greatest quote ever!

PowerPoint is Boring! - Dwight K. Schrute (stress relief, part 1)

[incorrectluxiem]

Ike: *clicks pen*

Shu: *clicks pen in response*

Mysta: Stop that.

Ike: Stop what?

Mysta: You’re talking about me in Morse code!

Ike: Yes, that’s what we’re doing. In our very limited time, we took a class on a very outdated, very unnecessary form of communication just so we could talk about you in front of you. Congrats, you figured us out!

*later*

Shu, to Vox: That’s actually exactly what we were doing.