#during my driving test the only thing the test guy had to critique was that i waited at an intersection when i could've gone

[dandyshucks]

need Guz to hug me tightly for like an hour solid oh my god dhdjdkl I went driving for the first time in over a year and I chewed my lip raw 😭😭

I'm starting to look like a caricature of Anxiety with all these physical symptoms and signs LMAO

[watermelonlipstick]

Surprise

Everyone was so nice about my first Dean fic, here’s a Sam one! Again, thanks in advance for any critiques or advice!!

Title: Surprise

Pairing: Sam Winchester x Reader

Word Count: 4904

Summary: Mostly fluffy, a little smut, some angst when the reader realizes she’s late.  

Warnings: One smutty bit--separated by spacing, some light swearing, oblique mention of abortion, pregnancy

gif by study-of-supernatural

           Dean tossed his phone onto the car seat next to him. “That thing in Cleveland sounds like vamps for sure. So we’ll just drop you off at the bunker on the way.”

           You looked quizzically at him in the rearview mirror. “Drop me off? No, I want to come.”

           Dean flicked his eyes up to the mirror to make eye contact. “Well you obviously can’t go hunt vampires right now, so, sorry.” He turned the key in the ignition and threw the Impala in reverse. Before he could back out of the parking lot, Sam stopped him.

           “Dude, what? She’s hunted vampires with us dozens of times.”

           “I’m not taking you to a vampire nest when you’re, you know, parting the red seas,” Dean addressed his response to you in the rearview mirror rather than Sam. “Too dangerous.”

           “Oh my god,” you said under your breath, stunned. “You did not just say that.”

           Sam’s eyebrows had shot up to his hairline, his lips parted while he tried to find something to say. Dean looked over at him in an exaggerated “what?” grimace.

           “Dean, it is so fucking weird for you to know that,” Sam insisted.

           “No it’s not, she was talking about cramps when we were at Jody’s a few months ago, it’s not that hard to keep track of 4 week chunks,” Dean tried to justify.

           “We are not talking about this, Jesus Christ!” you snapped, startling both brothers. They turned in their seats to look back at you. “And Dean, not that it’s any of your fucking business, but I am not on my period.”

           “Wait, yeah you are,” he started, ignoring your glare and the awkward tension building in the car. “We were in Sioux Falls for fourth of July on a Wednesday, then that would mean 4 weeks later was the witch in Nebraska, and two days ago was Wednesday. So that’s another 4 weeks,”

           “Dean!” Sam interrupted, his hands thrown up in frustration. “What the hell?!”

           “Again, and I don’t know how much more I can emphasize this, it’s none of your concern at all, but I’m not on my period and I will be coming to Cleveland,” you responded, leaning back in your seat to indicate that you would not be discussing the matter further. Dean sat for a moment before rolling his eyes and backing up out of the parking lot, seemingly having given in.

           After a few moments, the implications of Dean’s too-keen observation started to sink in. You had been on your period at Jody’s, because you remembered being thankful that you weren’t in a grown-up magical frat house and rather a normal home with some other women for it. Normally you loved living with Sam and Dean, but there was a certain kind of comfort and camaraderie that only other people with periods understood. And his math was right, that would’ve been 8 weeks two days ago. Had you been on your period during the witch hunt in Nebraska? Dammit, you couldn’t remember at all. As you often did when surprised with it during a job, you cursed the fact that you weren’t the kind of person who wrote something down on a calendar about your cycle.

           You shifted in your seat, trying to calculate. Fuck. Why couldn’t you remember if you were on your period in Nebraska? 2 days late wasn’t that big of a deal, but if you were a month late… You watched Sam try to rub some tension out of his neck absentmindedly. Was he wondering the same thing you were?

           This was not the time to be worried about it. You couldn’t figure out anything either way in the car—what were you going to do anyway, count the number of extra tampons you had in your bag?—and relatively soon you’d be in Cleveland. There would be opportunities to talk to Sam alone, to get to a drugstore, to figure this out. You took some deep, deliberate breaths. By your estimation, it would take about 7 hours to get to Cleveland. Curling up in the darkness of the backseat, you dozed fitfully until Dean woke you up to grab some food. Stressed but knowing that the boys would notice if you didn’t eat, you forced down the better part of a buffalo chicken sandwich and gratefully relinquished your fries to Dean. You couldn’t tell if Sam seemed nervous or just tired through dinner and knew better than to ask in front of Dean.

           When you got back in the car, you offered Sam the backseat so he could stretch out and sleep. Singing along to Creedence Clearwater Revival with Dean helped take your mind off of the racing questions until finally the Impala pulled into a motel outside Cleveland. You grabbed a top sheet and pillow off of one bed to put on the couch as you usually did on the road with Sam and Dean, and were asleep by the time you slipped your boots off under the plasticized coffee table.

           The next morning, you carefully slid Dean’s keys out of his jacket as it hung on a chair. Your hope was to be back before either of them woke up, and you knew you were pushing it. Sam and Dean had been asleep for a little under 4 hours, and you knew it would be miraculous if they stayed down for a 5 hour stretch. Gently catching the door behind you, you didn’t hear any movement on the other side and hoped for the best.

           The first drugstore you found was a little mom-and-pop establishment with a very sweet looking woman in her mid 60’s behind the counter. She was eating what looked like a cruller and drinking coffee from a steaming ceramic mug while reading a magazine. You congratulated yourself silently for brushing your hair to look more presentable to her as you pushed three pregnancy tests across the counter. She brushed off her hands on a small white apron tied around her waist and smiled warmly as she rang up the tests.

           “Sweetie, do you want a bag for these?” she asked.

           “No, I, uh,” you stammered, realizing you were more nervous than you had convinced yourself you were on last night’s drive. She softly touched the back of your hand on the pregnancy tests and pointed down a little side hall next to the counter.

           “Bathroom’s on the right,” she offered graciously. You nodded, taking the tests with you as you followed her directions. Unbuckling your jeans, you almost thought “I can’t remember the last time I took my pants off this fast,” chuckling aloud when you realized you absolutely could remember the last time your pants were taken off this fast. God, how stupid could you both have been? If your gut was right, that you had skipped your period in Nebraska, it meant your slipup with Sam at that bar in Montana was the likely culprit. Normally so careful both about making sure Dean wasn’t around to find out as well as protection, you were playing with fire that night. You had been stealing sultry glances at Sam for hours as Dean ripped through shots. Dean had found some bikers to play pool with, and you’d been brushing against Sam for longer than you needed to every time you snuck by the table for another round. The guys were fun and loud, and made the three of you feel at home. Dean was in the middle of being convinced to sing karaoke when you reapplied your lip gloss slowly with Sam’s eyes on you, and Dean was too caught up with the start of both another round of whiskey and a new game when you had told Sam you were headed to the powder room.  

           He had given you about a 2 minute head start before slamming open the door of the bathroom, crashing into you as a long arm cracked the lock into place. Sam, normally sweet and gentle Sam, had reacted to your teasing him all night exactly the way you wanted to, the heat and urgency and need searing through him as he tore at your belt buckle and you at his. He gathered a handful of hair at the base of your neck as he kissed you deeply and nipped at your bottom lip. You groaned as he moved down your neck, his hot breath sending electrifying chills down your spine. Suddenly his other hand was under your thigh, and he pulled you up to sit atop the old porcelain sink. Your jeans held on to your right leg for dear life as you tried to yank free of them, ultimately getting only your left out before Sam’s impatience got the better of him and he left your mouth to drag his tongue, long and languid, across your clit. When you gasped, he pulled firmly on the handful of hair he still had, arching your back into the mirror behind you.

           You hadn’t even thought for a split second of the consequences when you had pulled him into you on that sink. All that had mattered for those fervent salty minutes was the rhythm of Sam pounding you into the bathroom wall, hearing the creak of the sink ache underneath you, feeling the throbbing of yourself around him, the shiver you felt in his arms when you licked at his neck and earlobes. When he finished, sticky and hot on your stomach and inner thigh, you had cleaned up as fast as you could before getting your clothes back on, checking both of yourselves in the mirror for evidence before leaving one at a time to rejoin Dean and your new friends. You remembered the way you had ached so good in the days following, the way Sam blushed the next day when you winked at him over pancakes.

           In a way it felt poetic, to be once again in a strange bathroom. You lined up the tests next to the sink as you washed your hands, begging for time to move more quickly. One by one their results developed in cloudy blue words.

                                                  Pregnant

           Fuck.

           By the grace of God, Sam and Dean appeared to still be asleep by the time you got back to the motel room. You slipped Dean’s keys back into his jacket pocket and took off your boots, lying back down on the couch to pantomime sleep as you tried to figure out your next move. Sam roused first, and you jumped on the opportunity to talk before he got to the shower, startling him as he walked by the couch to get to the bathroom.

           “Sam, can I talk to you?” you whispered.

           He jolted before closing his eyes hard. “Yeah, of course. Sorry, you scared me,” he responded, his voice rough with sleep. “Two seconds, ok?”

           “Yeah sure. I’ll be outside,” you said, shoving your feet into your boots and heading for the small cast iron bench outside the motel room. Sam came out a few minutes later, smelling of toothpaste and looking like he had raked his fingers through the worst of his bedhead tangles. You let out a breath you didn’t realize you had been holding in.

           “What’s going on?” He looked concerned, and you realized you probably weren’t keeping the worry off of your face as well as you would’ve hoped.

           You took another deep breath, trying to keep your voice level as you responded. “So, Dean being a creep yesterday got me nervous, because I think he might be right,” you started. Sam’s earnest eyes encouraged you to keep going. “In that I’m supposed to be on my period right now. And I should’ve been on my period in Nebraska. But I’m not now, and I wasn’t—” Sam finally made the realization you were leading him to, his eyes widening as he held your gaze. “—in Nebraska, so I took a test, really three tests, and I think I’m pregnant,” you finished, the words tumbling out of your mouth like an avalanche furtively mumbled outside the Ohio hotel room. “And I, uh, you’re obviously the only person I’ve been with, so I thought you should know.”

           Your voice cracked on the last words, and you bit your lip to hold back the involuntary tears. Sam took your shoulders in each hand and looked into your eyes. “Hey. Hey, okay, look at me. Everything’s okay.” He pulled you into a firm hug, his ropey muscles around your shoulders and back feeling like an anchor in a storm. You stayed like that for a few minutes, trying to breathe smoothly around the lump in your throat threatening to burst while Sam gripped you tightly. When you shifted your weight, he let go and left a stabilizing hand on your lower back for a moment. You and Sam sat on the bench side by side staring out at the half-full parking lot in the morning dew.

           Sam cleared his throat. “What do you want to do?” he asked softly. You were worried if you looked at him you’d start crying, so you kept your eyes locked on the asphalt.

           “I don’t know, I guess. Hadn’t really thought that far,” you said honestly. “I mean, how many pregnant hunters do you know?” You finally looked over at Sam when he didn’t respond. His brows were knitted together as he looked at his hands in his lap.

           “Not very many, I guess,” he mumbled, barely audible. He straightened his spine and set his jaw. “If that’s what you want to do, I totally get it. I’m here no matter what you decide.”

           “Well, what would you do?”

           “It’s not my call.”

           “Sam, I’m asking because I want to know. What would you decide?”

           “I’d give it a shot,” he said, firmly but quietly. “I think we could do it.”

           You let his answer hang in the air for a moment. “Are you sure?”

           Sam chuckled, looking back down at his hands before meeting your eyes. “Pretty sure.” He smiled, a small and self-conscious smile that made him look more unsure of himself than you’d ever seen him. When you smiled back at him, a tear slipped past your eyelashes. You wiped it away furtively as you began to laugh. Then Sam was laughing with you, his own eyes wet and bright. For the first time since you were in the car yesterday, you didn’t feel like you were racing and clawing to stay afloat. It felt like maybe things would be okay.

           You heard a creak and saw Dean’s head poking out of the motel door. His hair was unkempt and the neck of his t-shirt was stretched out; he’d clearly just woken up. He squinted a puffy eye at you both. “What’re you guys doing out here?”

           You gasped for breath in between your hysterical giggling. “I’m pregnant,” you managed to squeak out.

           Dean’s head kicked back into his neck as he opened his eyes wide. “This feels like a conversation I should have pants on for.”

           “So you’ve got a bun in the oven,” Dean said, pouring syrup over a short stack at a nearby diner. “Is this a moment for congratulations?” He squinted at you, carefully trying to keep his expression neutral.

           “Um, yeah, I think so,” you said shyly. Eggs had seemed like a good idea when the waitress came over, but now the idea of putting them in your mouth was too much. Dean seemed to read your mind, rolling his eyes and forking a pancake onto your plate.

           “Who’s the baby daddy? Should I be calling Springer?” Dean smiled slyly. Sam was notably quiet, looking down at his omelet like it had all the secrets of the Rosetta Stone.

           “Shut up,” you said, grimacing at him. “Between the two of us, I think you know who should be more scared about a random baby coming into the picture.”

            “Fair enough, I yield,” Dean chuckled. “Seriously though, who’s big papa?” Dean took a comically large bite of sausage, and you waited a beat to make sure he wasn’t about to choke.

           “Sam.”

           Dean coughed and sputtered around the bite of sausage, snatching his coffee to help him swallow. He bared his teeth when he realized how hot it was and pounded a closed fist on his chest. “Good one, jackass. Seriously, who is it? Maybe that detective from Sioux Falls who’s always getting you coffee cake when we’re there?” He waggled his eyebrows suggestively.

           You shot a look over to Sam, who clenched and unclenched his jaw before looking up at Dean. As was often true, they were communicating with their eyes in a way you couldn’t understand. Sam raised his eyebrows slightly, and Dean closed his eyes very deliberately before putting his fork down and steepling his fingers on the table. “You guys have got to be fucking kidding me,” he muttered under his breath. He opened his eyes after a long moment and sucked on his teeth. “Start talking,” he growled.

           “We’ve been, you know, uh, spending a lot of time together—” Sam started before Dean waved a dismissive hand in the air.

           “How long?” Dean asked, still steely.

           Sam gulped hard and pursed his lips. “Like 7, 8 months?” He looked to you for confirmation and you nodded slightly.  

           Dean’s nostrils flared and he bit his bottom lip. “Eight goddamn months, Sam? Are you kidding me?” You tried to meet Sam’s eyes but he was avoiding Dean by looking out the diner window. “Sam!” Dean barked. You watched an older woman a few tables away look over at your table and threw a weak wave her way to apologize for the noise.

           Sam finally turned to look at Dean. “Dean, I don’t know what you want me to say. Yes, eight months. I’m sorry we didn’t tell you, it just didn’t seem like the right time and then a lot of time had passed, and—”

           “—it didn’t change anything so there wasn’t really any point to talking about it,” you finished. Sam gave you a tight smile to indicate his thanks.

           Dean looked from you to Sam and back before picking his fork back up and stabbing another piece of sausage a little harder than necessary. The fork scraped against the plate unpleasantly. He raised it to his mouth before reconsidering, letting it clatter to the plate. “Sam, I asked you like five times if there was something going on and you said no every single time. What the hell, man?”

           You leaned back in the booth and watched as Sam chewed his lip nervously. On some level, you were glad it seemed like Dean wasn’t as mad at you as Sam, but you felt guilty both for not having told Dean and that Sam was incurring his wrath alone. Sam let his head loll back on his neck.

           “Well?” Dean repeated. You could sense now the note of sadness in his voice peeking out between the waves of anger. Sam still didn’t meet Dean’s eyes.

           “I, uh, I don’t know,” he finally answered softly.

           After a long stare, Dean finally went back to eating. You and Sam followed, and the three of you ate silently for a few minutes.

           “You’re keeping it, then?” Dean asked, his voice low and raspy as he kept eating.

           You finished your bite and took a sip of orange juice before answering, hoping this meant Dean had processed some of his anger. “I think so. I just found out this morning so it’s all happening kind of fast. Sam said he wants to try.” A smile crept onto your face involuntarily as you looked over at him.

           “You cannot just try with a fucking kid, did you two get dropped on your heads? You’re going to what, put a play pen in the dungeon of the bunker we live in? Do you hear yourselves?”

           You winced. “Dean, I don’t know, okay? You’re right. I don’t know. I don’t think Sam does either. I’m just trying really hard not to freak the fuck out right now, and I gotta be honest: you’re not helping.” You reached out to squeeze his hand. Dean allowed it but didn’t squeeze back. “Please. I don’t know what to do.”

           Dean’s face fell and he rubbed a quick circle in the back of your hand before pulling away to stroke his face. He looked so tired suddenly. “Are you guys leaving now then?”

           Your eyebrows and Sam’s communicated your confusion. “No one’s leaving. There’s still a job here, regardless of whatever soap opera bullshit we have going on,” you said.

           “Get real, like either of us is going to be able to focus on a hunt if we know you’re cracking necks pregnant.” Dean scoffed.

           “Okay, then she can stay in the motel and we can talk about this more back at the bunker,” Sam offered, ever the peacemaker. You glared at him but he specifically avoided meeting your gaze, knowing you’d be frustrated at this plan.

           “I’m done talking about this right now,” Dean said abruptly, yanking his wallet out of his pocket and throwing far more money on the table than the bill would’ve cost. He started toward the door, leaving you and Sam to run after him or risk being left.

           The car ride was silent and tense. When you got back to the motel, Sam and Dean stayed in the car as you got out alone.

           “We’ll probably only be a couple hours, just to the morgue and back. See you soon?” Sam asked.

           “Not really a ton of places I could go with no car,” you responded.

           “I’m sure you could figure something out,” Sam chuckled. You saw Dean’s hand tighten on the steering wheel until his knuckles were white.

           “Dean, is your suit in the trunk or do you want me to grab it?” you asked, trying to offer an olive branch.

           “Trunk,” he said curtly. Sam made an apologetic face and waved as they pulled away.

           With the motel in the rearview mirror, Dean’s fist shot out to dead-arm Sam. “Are you fucking stupid? You’re so fucking stupid!” he grunted in between punches.

           Sam tried his best to block Dean, very aware of the road in front of them. “Dean. DEAN! Stop hitting me, alright? Jesus Christ, I get it!” Dean finally stopped and Sam rubbed his sore arm. “God, Dean, I’m sorry, ok? I should’ve been more careful and I should’ve told you.”

           “God, Sam, what were you thinking?” Dean slammed a palm into the steering wheel. “I mean, this has got to be your last job then,” he said, resolute.

           “What? No! I can still be a hunter if she’s pregnant. Plenty of hunters have kids,” Sam snapped.

           “Yeah, like Dad? Jo’s dad? How’d that work out for them? Wake up, Sam. At best you leave her alone raising a kid with no dad, and at worst they both get killed from some crap you get caught up in. If you go straight, get a day job, some house somewhere, maybe you have a shot at keeping everyone alive.”

           “She’s a hunter too, she knows how hard it’s going to be, okay? We’re going to figure it out,” Sam answered.

           “Yeah, you both keep saying that, don’t you? So start figuring it out then, dumbass. Tell me your groundbreaking plan to keep a target on your ass ganking demons and monsters with a baby Björn on.” He looked at Sam condescendingly. “I’m listening, Sammy. Turn on that genius brain of yours and lay it on me.”

           “Enough.” Sam said firmly. “What do you want me to do then, Dean? I can’t exactly take it back, and it’s not like I could force her to do anything even if I wanted to, so tell me what you think I should do!” Sam’s voice rose, the fear coming to the surface.

           The tension hung in the air like a curtain for a long minute.

           Finally, Dean slammed the steering wheel again. “Son of a bitch,” he said emphatically. “Okay. You’re right. We’ve got to figure out what you’re going to do.” He took a deep breath and pushed it out forcefully.

           Sam’s shoulders relaxed noticeably at Dean’s change in tone. “Thank you,” he said in a low voice.

           “Man, eight months? I must be pretty stupid,” Dean laughed, still somewhat angrily.

           Sam realized Dean was trying to lighten the mood and decided to let him have it, despite his bruised feelings. “There were a few times when I thought for sure you knew, to be honest.”

           “Oh yeah? Like when?”

           “Remember when, ah, you came home early from that Die Hard thing?”

           “Drive in double feature that got rained out, hell yeah. I was pissed.”

           “And when you got back to the bunker the kitchen was a mess and she said she was making like, cupcakes or something?”

           Dean’s eyes widened. “Dude, the kitchen? You’re a dog.” He smiled slyly at Sam, who laughed. The mood in the car was lifting like a low cloud after a bit of afternoon sun, and both of them relaxed into themselves for a few minutes of road.

           Dean cleared his throat. “Do you love her?”

           Sam turned to Dean, locking him in his gaze. “I do, yeah,” he said, softly and earnestly.

           Dean thumped a big hand on Sam’s back. “Then congrats, baby bro. Look at you, all grown up. If I’m being honest, I thought I was going to be the one who finally got the girl.”

           “Wait, Dean, if you have feelings for h—” Sam started.

           “No, nah, not now. It’s been years, she’s like a sister to me. Yesterday I would’ve said she’s like a sister to us,” Dean chuckled. “But she’s obviously a gorgeous girl, tough, smart like that? I’d be lying if I said I didn’t think about it when she first started staying with us.” He squeezed Sam’s shoulder. “She’s going to be a good mom, Sammy.”

           “I think so too.”

           In the motel room, you tried hard to focus on whatever Alaskan logging show was on but failed. Dean was right, this whole situation was overwhelming. The moments of hope you had sitting on that bench with Sam seemed lightyears away.

           A few hours later the boys finally walked through the motel door in their suits. Their expressions were unreadable, and Dean had a paper bag presumably of evidence in his hand that he set down on the small kitchenette table. Sam walked over to a bed, loosening his tie and taking off his jacket as he went. Dean mirrored the motion as he sat down at the table. It was always obvious they were brothers, but these small moments of such strong resemblance tickled you, even despite the circumstances.

           “How’d it go?” you asked, trying to keep your voice light as to not reveal the time you’d spent pacing and panicking while they were gone.

           “Seems pretty open and shut, we’re going to hit them tomorrow morning. Apparently they usually close down the tiki bar and then crash for a few hours before hitting the third shifter joints,” Sam said calmly, patting the bed next to him for you to sit down. You complied.

           “You deserve an apology,” Dean began. You tried to keep the surprise off your face so as not to discourage him from continuing. “I wouldn’t have lied about it for the better part of a damn year, but if you guys are happy and everything, I can hardly judge about a slip up. Mistakes happen.” He let out a deep breath and rubbed his eyes. “So, I’m sorry. And I know normally you’d like a nice peaty Irish whiskey, but I figured under the circumstances this was more appropriate,” Dean reached into the paper bag on the table and pulled out a fluffy white cake with big pink, blue, and yellow frosting roses. In graceful, elegant script along the top, it said, 

                                   “Sorry Sam didn’t pull out!”

           You blushed and laughed out loud, reaching over to lightly slap Dean’s arm. “How much did you have to pay them to put that on it?”

           “Oh, they do the writing for free,” he grinned devilishly. “Want a slice?”

           “Sure,” you said, thinking a piece of cake at 10 am couldn’t be any weirder than this day already was. Dean got up to look through the cabinets for the cheap silverware and Corelle plates that seemed standard issue for motels like this.

           You turned to Sam. “What’re we going to do? I mean, it’s not like we can take a baby with us on the road, no offense, and to be honest I don’t know that I want to stop living this life. And I definitely don’t want to leave Dean, or the bunker, or—” Sam stopped you by lacing his fingers through yours.

           “We’ve figured out way more complicated problems than this. We’re going to make it work. If that means babyproofing the bunker or living in a duplex with Dean or driving around the country in a big RV, then that’s what we’ll do. Believe me, I’m scared as hell too. But there is no one I would rather bring someone into this world with. I love you.”

           “Thanks, Bridget Jones’ Diary,” Dean said, exaggeratedly rolling his eyes while you rubbed the beginnings of tears out of yours. “Sam, how big do you want your piece?”  

-

Thanks again for reading! If you liked it, check out my Masterlist or send me a request!

Tags: @sams-sass​

[iron--spider]

Okay, so. Cherry. I loved Cherry. 

Behind the cut is a review of sorts, with some spoilers and some loving and some bitching! It’s very, very long.

The reviews and responses have been rolling in for months now, and there have been a few notorious critiques that had me worried. As most people who follow this blog know, I’m not the biggest fan of the Russos, for reasons that are obvious lmfao. I was hoping this would be a different situation, especially since I’ve gotten to watch a LOT of interviews where they’ve discussed why they made certain choices in the film, why it’s so personal to them, etc. But the early reactions really got me nervous and I was worried they’d botched this one. I got an early screening on February 12th through American Cinematheque, and I went in looking forward to Tom and anxious about everything else.

 I loved it. I loved every single choice that was made, on every single level. I’d like to preface this by saying I absolutely hated the book. Sure, it had moments, shining lines here and there, but overall I felt nothing for the main character and the stream of consciousness and the way the events were presented. The absolute lack of an ending. When I read the book I already knew Tom was gonna be in the movie, so I was building what I wanted the film to look like in my head.

 The narration. I knew we would need that to keep the story grounded, to give it a center, and they included that and it worked so beautifully. Breaking the fourth wall. The entire book you feel like this guy is talking to you, and if there was anything to carry over, it was that connection with the audience, but they enhanced it by paring it down and using his eye contact and words to us sparingly. A solid, almost unreliable POV from the main character, which they included in spades with all their different stylistic choices, from the different lenses to the names of the banks and the authority figures to the lack of information about particular things to the quick cuts in certain places and lingering shots in others. The stylistic choices were one of the main things, if not THE main thing, everybody has been complaining about, and I was truly sitting here expecting something outrageous. But it all flowed beautifully, it all felt extremely purposeful, and none of it took me out of the moment. In fact, all of it immersed me even deeper in the movie and the story, and made the lead even more real. We were seeing it all through his eyes, through his feelings, through his changing circumstances. It was an EXPERIENCE to me, a journey that needed these particular choices. I feel like the whole thing would have been more of an uphill battle had they not done the six chapters, so that’s another choice I felt like added to the film in a positive way and made it better. It also highlighted the changes that the main character was going through in such an excellent fashion, and added to the whole ‘odyssey’ feel.

 Before I get into speaking about Tom, I will speak critically for a second. I’ve seen this thing four times now, three viewings before the review embargo was up and one after. I tried to watch it from a different headspace and see what they were talking about. My opinion never really changed drastically, but I can acknowledge some things. I loved the ‘breaking the fourth wall’, but I do think there could have been more of it. It enhanced the movie a lot for me and there were a couple more moments where I could have gone for it (though I think people do miss some of the eye contact moments, such as the one in the car during the whole thing between James and Pills&Coke). I think the entire bit in the beginning is absolutely necessary to get to know our character and understand where he’s beginning, what his circumstances are, but I do think it pales in comparison to the rest of the movie. I didn’t notice the first couple times, but while he’s in the doctor’s office discussing pain levels/PTSD, there’s a cut to the doctor that’s literally a millisecond long that was pretty unnecessary. I can also say that the scene with Tommy (drunk guy in the bar) was one of those moments from the book that didn’t need to be included, though it’s clear that they were trying to test the character’s mettle for the upcoming war he’d have to participate in because of his bad choices, and it was also a look at a version of what he could (would) become after he got home. But it didn’t really need to be in there.

 Those are literally the only things I “didn’t like”, and even then that’s the wrong phrasing, because I liked everything lmfao.

 Ciara was a casting choice I questioned initially, purely because she has such a young-looking face, but I was completely incorrect about doubting her. She killed it. She’s such a natural actress and she was able to meet Tom beat by beat in such a difficult story. Their chemistry was lovely. In fact, I loved all of the supporting characters and what they added to the story. They made the whole experience that much more real.

 Now, Tom. I mean. You guys know I love him and a lot of people like to say that if you have a bias towards someone, your opinion counts less when it comes to judging them. But I feel like there’s a reason why I have this bias to begin with, and it’s because Tom’s talent is just undeniable. He always pulls me in, he always makes me excited for what’s next, he is everything I want to see in an actor. He brought Peter to life in a way that had never been done before, and he uplifts every single movie he touches. This one really gets me particularly emotional because he’s said on so many different occasions that Cherry means a lot to him, because of the work he put in and because of the message it carries and because of the people he met and learned about during the whole process. I just—there are hardly any words big enough or meaningful enough to even describe his performance. It’s one for the ages. It’s agonizing and heartbreaking and mammoth. It is truly special. I know that they changed the book a lot, so this is based on a real person and his real experiences, but in the end it’s more of a composite of what Nico was at the time and not an exact replica—so I feel safe in saying that Tom, through this huge, powerhouse of a performance, created an entire person that felt so, so real. You can feel his past and all the memories in his head and the way he thinks about things. You can imagine what he’d say about something in a scene without him actually saying it. This character changes so drastically from the first scene to the last, and yet you still feel like you know him as he progresses through his journey. Tom expertly weathers every single nuance, every time the character experiences a moment that will push him further into darkness, every hesitation despite falling headfirst into such mistakes. I love Tom because he’s so subtle even in his bigger moments, and by this I mean he’s always got layers upon layers upon layers going on in each individual moment. Like the hospital scene in particular, after Emily’s overdose. There’s so much going on with Tom’s character there, from the deep horror in possibly losing the love of his life, to the heavy shame he feels in having facilitated her journey here. Just the way his voice hitches as he tries to help, while still hiding what they’ve done. The way he avoids the nurses’ gazes as he’s trying to connect with them to get an answer about her well-being. The way he almost deflates when he finally reveals that she took heroin. He is phenomenal. Every moment and every movement tells you more about this character, and that’s just down to Tom’s incredible talent. 

 Tom deep dives into every moment and commits fully. People have asked me what my favorite scene in this film is and it’s so hard because the entire thing is just a showcase of just how good he is. The bus station scene in particular stands out, because it’s one of those moments where he just truly disappears. The entire movie you hardly remember you’re watching Tom, but in that scene it’s like you’re there, like you’re actually witnessing this heart wrenching moment between two broken people. The way he shrinks into himself with that horrific shame after what’s happened to her. The complete and utter pain in his eyes when she tells him there’s no stopping what she plans to do. Tom never ever seems like one of those actors who knows what’s coming, who has rehearsed this moment or that moment over and over and over again. Everything is natural, everything comes as it comes and that’s why what he does feels so real. He isn’t acting. He is becoming.

 The Russos have said more than one time that they chose Tom for this role because he’s so likable and you feel empathy and sympathy for him, and that’s also one of the best changes from the book. The character feels so far from you in the book, you feel so disconnected from him, but Tom just has something that connects you with him, that makes you root for him. Every single time. He’s one of the most immensely watchable actors I’ve ever seen. If this was any other “indie” actor, any of the Hollywood favorite directors, I know this film would have been an awards darling. 

 That leads me to how critics are behaving. This movie was not the movie they made it out to be. They have loved films that are so much more outrageous in terms of story and filmmaking choices, and yet they’re acting like this is the craziest most off the wall thing they’ve ever seen. It’s really really whack and over the top to me. These ~film~ people, professionals and “film Twitter” have gotten it in their heads that as soon as someone is involved with Marvel movies that they’re suddenly damaged goods, can’t act, can’t do their jobs. I feel like Scarlett is the only one who’s escaped from this, with JoJo and Marriage Story, though the latter did get some slack, too. It drives me insane when all of these people writing about Tom are like “oh this is such a departure from Spider-Man!” No, Spider-Man is a departure from all his previous films. The vast majority of his movies are dramas. His first movie was The Impossible! But despite all this, critics love to shit on him and bring him down because he’s Spider-Man. It absolutely doesn’t help that this was helmed by the Russos, in fact it hurts the situation even more. Critics revel in bringing them down, in acting like they’re glorified for no reason. And like I said, they’re not my favorite, but these critics knew what their opinion was gonna be before they even watched Cherry. And they held onto that no matter what they actually felt. Thankfully, MOST of them are acknowledging how wonderful and impressive Tom was. But whatever score this movie has on RT now (a site that should be abolished, frankly) it doesn’t deserve something so low. 

 I understand film is subjective. But these people don’t seem to. I hate the gleeful “Cherry is bad!” bullshit, which goes beyond criticism so many times, is always extremely exaggerated, and acts as if because this particular person believes it’s bad, then everyone else should as well, and if they don’t, they don’t understand film. I’m tired of this shit and I’m tired of them underestimating and trying to stop Tom in his tracks. They want so desperately for this MARVEL BAD narrative to be true that they’ll rip these people apart whenever they get the opportunity. It felt very strange to have already seen the movie when the embargo was lifted, because it was like “did they see the same movie I saw?”

 After all that, I’d just like to say, do not be influenced by people like that. That’s what they want. They want you to listen to them and completely write off the movie, forgoing to see it at all. Please make your own decisions—if you love Tom, this is not something to be missed. He is a revelation. I personally, and wholeheartedly, think it was a beautiful movie. I’m gonna watch it again. It reminded me of so many of my favorites, and it rose above them too. It did not shy away from its subject, it is a cautionary tale, but it is told with love, with care and with kindness. It’s clear this was done by people who are close to the subject, who want people who struggle with PTSD and drug use to come out of the shadows they’re forced into and get the help they deserve. Cherry is so rewatchable to me, and it’s so staggering to see Tom just shine here. He is the best actor of his generation. And he’s only getting better.

[retvenkos]

“so what if we’re wild, we only live once.”

requested

BUCKLE IN FAM, BECAUSE THE NEWSIES IN HIGH SCHOOL FOR A MODERN AU WOULD OBVIOUSLY INCLUDE…

(also, keep in mind that this is based off of my experience in the american school system, any classes are ones that are offered at my own school.)

Bill

so he’s obviously head of the journalism staff

and he definitely is a part of yearbook too

and what is he interested in most??

chemistry

no one really understands why, but they don’t question it as long as he helps them with homework

and bill is 10/10 that guy who always has his homework done and let’s you borrow it

his worst class is by far history

he’s in choir and plays the piano for like, every song

he actually has a really nice set of pipes (he’s a tenor, too)

he’s terrible with dates

Darcy

so darcy is on yearbook because he can take the most stunning photos

and he is also a part of journalism, and his niche is critiquing

plays?? restaurants?? sports??

and yes, he goes to sporting events

and yes, romeo gives him a wink everytime he sees him at the baseball games

it’s a ship to end all ships

he isn’t quite sure what he wants to do in the future

i forgot to mention - these are headcanons for when each one is a senior in high school, i’m not working out ages in relation to each other. find someone more motivated for that

but he does know he wants to go to a really nice college

he’s definitely on chess club, and he’s a member of key club too

Katherine

journalism, guys. and she’s not into heavy creative writing, more like articles and interviews and such

president of debate

and her style game is strong - she, bill, and darcy are the three best dressed. facts.

she makes such pretty notes

and she slays in argument writing

english is obviously her favorite class, but a close second is her research class

and she actually sucks at cooking - she took culinary arts as a sophomore and set off the fire alarm twice

she has a free period in her schedule where she goes to the library and slaves over math

it doesn’t come easy to her

definitely has an old-school planner that is always full

Sarah

okay, i don’t know much about sarah - full disclosure, but i’ll try

so first of all, this girl is really put together

she has her schedule mapped out two months in advance, she remembers everyone’s birthday, and she already knows the vacation days during the year

she has library aide for one of her periods and knows every adult in the building by first name

she also happens to be an aide when kath has her free period and she is either the embodiment of the heart eye emoji or trying to help katherine with math

she loves psychology and already has plans to study it

she is in key club with darcy and also just volunteers a whole lot

her favorite is visiting and helping out animal shelters

she goes there so much that they finally just give her a job there

she doodles a lot on the side of her notes - it keeps her from falling asleep in science

the master of the messy top knot

Davey

okay, this boy does not know when to stop

he is taking all of the advanced classes he possibly can, and he’s stressing over them way too much

jack makes him like, 10 cups of stress relief tea daily

there’s also a running bet that the whole school is in on about whether he or kath will be valedictorian

specs says that davey will do it if he doesn’t have a heart attack before final exams

race says he’ll be so busy he’ll forget to even show up to graduation

also, while we’re at it, we need to talk about this boy’s notes. they are the hardest thing to decipher in this world, but if you can read his chicken scratch then you have a goldmine of helpful ways to study

he loves mnemonics with a burning passion and uses them at every chance he can get

his favorite class is chinese or math

and he’s definitely a part of future business leaders of america, mesa, and book club

Les

yes, this is for when les is a senior

he’s obviously not in the same year as the rest of the gang, but les as an 18 year old is gold

okay, first of all… heartthrob who genuinely doesn’t know it

he’s not actually officially part of any club, but he’s always staying after school afterward to like, float into the different club meetings

but he’s definitely an sbo - probably vice president or activities

he’s a part of band and definitely plays the saxophone

you know that means he starts off every class period by playing careless whisper

the teachers all really love him

he actually gets pretty good grades

and he is way overly competitive in review games, especially ones in history

he will wreck you

always goes off campus at lunch and walks into his next period a couple minutes late with a shake

Jack

did someone say art?????

jack does literally every form of it, and he does them all so well

davey seethes at this, but loves it when jack helps in in ceramics

he’s also really supportive of younger artists who are still perfecting their art, so he’s obviously the head of the art club

and he’s the paint master for drama club and all of their productions

he frequently falls asleep in english class

he’s also the president of latinos in action - chosen unanimously even though he wasn’t going for the position

y’all can fite me on latino! jack kelly

also, his signature style is a blue sweatshirt, and all of his clothes have paint on them

he’s also that kid who never has a pencil on him, and never returns the ones he is given just because he always forgets

Crutchie

so i don’t know where the headcanon about crutchie being on the swim team originated, but it is dear to my heart and lives on in this post

he is the nice™ jock

also, he wants to go into the medical field for sure

he had medical terminology as last class of the day and it makes his day 10 times more bright

he uses highlighters so much (but only the yellow ones)

also, crutchie is lowkey a style icon???

all of his teachers love him

he’s that kid that always raises his hand in a group discussion, and it’s one of two things: a lame pun that gets more groans than laughs, or a really insightful bit of knowledge 

there is no in-between

definitely volunteers with sarah at the animal shelters and is a part of french club, even though he’s only ever gone to like, two meetings

Albert

albert wrestles, no one can convince me otherwise

but he’s also on dance co.

we love a well rounded boy - especially when he’ll pull up if you question his life choices

he is soooo salty, and he has no filter. Even in front of teachers.

anyone in his history class can attest to this - especially when they are going through america’s messy past

literally does not care about the majority of his classes

but he maintains a good gpa so he can be on the wrestling team

also, he failed his driving test twice, and when he got his license it didn’t make a difference since no one would trust him with a car anymore

but he’s actually really good in his business and marketing class

he frequently helps in the little store that the business class runs during lunch and stuff because he’s really good with money and change

Race

a part of dance company

and he hates the early morning practices with a passion but will just chug energy drinks to get through it

this boy doesn’t sleep… unless it’s in english

the most surprising thing about him is that he’s really good at math??

and he doesn’t even try - he’ll be talking all class period and then finish the homework in class in like, 10 minutes flat

it’s the same thing with physics

but it’s not like you can ask him for help, because he doesn’t really listen to the professor or follow their methods and steps

like i said earlier, race just doesn’t care

or so you think, but his shirt is always matching the color of his shoes and headphones, but then his hair is literal mess and he wears like, he only owns like, two different pairs of joggers

he’s honestly such a mystery

Buttons

okay, so buttons kills it at fashion, which is why he aces his fashion design class

he’s head costumer for all of the drama departments musicals and plays

he’s also really into art history, and he gets inspiration from art all the time

he’s definitely a part of key club and is a part of national honors society although he’s only ever gone to a couple meetings for both

he gets pretty decent grades in everything but physics, but he definitely tries to study for all of his classes

he goes stag to every school dance and deliberately tries to get his ships together for a song

coffee??? he only ever drinks it black

it’s how he stops romeo from taking his

he’s also a dork who color codes his notes because they help him study better

but he has no idea how to take notes for math class, so he kinda just does example problems and then is confused on how it ever did it in the first place

Elmer

so this is one musically talented boy

he plays the guitar, trumpet, and drums

it’s also an inside joke with him and jojo that they both play the castanets

but he’s definitely a part of any band the school offers - as well as pit for the musical

he’s a really chill, laid-back student that gets their work done and just hangs out

he is very nice and definitely a teacher aid for one of the english teachers

and he’s also a part of the poetry club

it’s to improve his songwriting as well as give him a place to destress

He’s definitely the guy who will always lend you his notes if you missed a day, but he’s also not that great at taking notes because his mind is always on something else

he’s also an attendance office aide for one of his periods

Henry

he took ballroom as a joke with mike, and he really ended up liking it

but he’s not a part of dance co. because their style is totally different from ballroom

He also has a lot of energy, so he’s that kid that’s always bouncing his leg up and down and making the desk behind him shake

but no one ever asks for him to stop because he has the biggest smile that you just can’t shut down??

he knows this, though, and he definitely uses it on teachers to get extensions on his work, and he does, like 80% of the time

his worst class is probably english because he can’t just sit down and read for long periods of time

but during the shakespeare unit he kills it because he’s always first to volunteer to read or do a part

his handwriting is very messy and he uses so many abbreviations not even davey knows what they’re saying

always races to be first in the lunch line

always one of the first people to be in class

Hot Shot

he has auto shop as his first class of the day and absolutely loves it

but he’s also that kid that hangs out with his friends in the middle of the hallway, bottlenecking the whole thing during passing time

thinks he’s the cool™ kid

wears leather jackets exclusively

he hates any core class

but secretly really likes his humanities class

he’s taking italian with spot and the poor teacher just can’t handle these two together

he’s also secretly good at basketball

the coach found out somehow and asks him every year to be on the team

but hot shot would rather die than be on a school team

Ike

has a youtube channel where he mostly posts prank videos  especially those that involve the school

he ran for sbo and was elected as treasury, even though mike is the one who went to all of the meetings for like, two months straight

he is the epitome of a class clown, but it’s always in good fun

he always is wearing a black t-shirt under his sbo sweater

and since he’s an sbo he has to go to all the sports game to support and stuff and he cheers the absolute loudest

he does gymnastics with mike after school every day and at every sbo meeting he brings up how it needs to be a part of the sports at school

he never takes notes but can retain everything

his worst class is anything science related

but he’s secretly really good a history

A proud member of spanish club

Mike

mike is definitely the more artsy twin

he takes drawing and ceramics but can’t paint for the life of him

he’s a part of the art club with jack and is basically second in command there

he does gymnastics with ike after school and is on dance co.

he struggles with math and science but gets by okay

has a free period for first where he could be sleeping in or studying but instead he goes to auto shop to talk to hot shot

he definitely has a crush. hot shot won’t admit it, but he loves mike being there.

he usually wears bright colors with his dance co. jacket

doesn’t really like coffee, but he always has a coke on him - it’s his one weakness

is also a part of spanish club

Kenny

okay, so i know, like, nothing about kenny, so i’m just going with my gut based off of his photo

film is his passion and he wants to be a director one day

is 10/10 that kid in your photography class that spends 90% of the time making stop-motion videos

he’s very nice and is always lending jack pencils even though he knows he’ll never get them back

also, there’s a running gag that he and darcy are the same person, ike runs conspiracy theory videos on his youtube channel

his two favorite classes are film (duh) and theatre

he’s a part of the ensemble of every musical the school puts on

he’s even directed a show a couple of times for the spotlight showcase

he is like that background kind of kid that is a part of the big groups and is totally included but just doesn’t have a huge role in the big stuff

he hates having to write essays because he says it’s sucking the creativity out of writing

also likes psychology

JoJo

co-captain of the soccer team

also a madrigal with bill and specs (he’s a baritone)

always tries out for the school musicals, and he usually gets a main part

he takes quite a few advanced classes and it is not rare to find him passed out on one of the other newsies’ couch

he manages to keep a good gpa with his schedule

his favorite class besides madrigals is probably latinos in action, which he has the same period as jack

while he doesn’t play any instruments himself you can always find him hanging out in the band room at lunch

he is absolutely terrible in math but is taking college math now so he can get it done with and never have to do again for as long as he lives

his aspirations are pretty much all over the place at the moment, but he smiles through the uncertainty

“i feel like it’s fine”

Romeo

on the baseball team

a shameless flirt, especially with darcy

did someone say president of the asian american club??

he’s also a part of drama club because he has a passion for theatre

he can’t when it comes to math, though

so instead of getting frustrated he just writes notes in the calculators for people to find

he’ll also fall asleep in that class

he’s definitely a partner in crime with ike and frequently is a guest on his youtube channel

studying??? who’s she???

really good at debate, though. katherine keeps telling him he should join the club but he says his skills are beyond that of a club

Finch

on the track team and one of the fastest runners

it’s a good outlet for all of his energy

he takes notes in all of his classes since he learned all the strategies from avid, but he never looks back at them

surprisingly gets really good test scores, though

you know he takes wildlife biology and he memorizes like, every type of bird call

he can even mimic some of them - it’s how he wakes romeo up in math.

he also goes out every day for lunch, and his next period is english which he has with like, all of the boys, so he’s always throwing fries across the room for henry or mush to catch in their mouths

he beats his own school records every year so he’s like, constantly the athlete of the month

definitely goes to all of the different sports games and cheers very loud

carries a huge water bottle that he fills up during french class to get out of presentations

Kid Blink

first of all, this kid does not do any kind of sport because his depth perception rivals that of mine

which means it  s u c k s 

however, he kills it at math and physics is his one true love

If you need a study partner for either, he’s your guy. just know that he explains nothing and goes pretty fast. keep up and you can do math with him.

he lowkey hates history because it’s about a whole bunch of dead people who were problematic

he’s a part of mesa

he takes american sign language and it’s one of his favorite classes

he and smalls are constantly having conversations from across the room

a lot of the time it’s about the teacher, and one time they were caught by their chemistry teacher who knew asl

they got detention for like, a week because of it

Mush

here comes the heartthrob!!!!

very handsome, and his strong suit is engineering. which always shocks people.

which means he’s definitely a part of mesa and the engineering and technology club

he’s definitely the person to go to if you need help in physics. he explains things really well

the only bad part about it is that he also goes off on tangents when he’s explaining and you can get confused if you listen too long

he’s actually kind of a style icon, his hair is probably the best out of everyone

he always has headphones in, but one earbud is out so he can hear the teacher and whatnot

he cannot act for the life of him

but he has a good-natured laugh that makes up for the cringe 

he also cannot dance

Smalls

okay, so smalls is a part of the asian american club, key club, and poetry club 

even though he cannot write to save his life, they let him come because he’s uber supportive

there’s also a joke that he and spot are a part of the short™ club

lowkey, smalls started this joke because he finds it hilarious when spot gets upset

he actually takes interior design and it’s his favorite class

he’s really good with color

he also takes woodworking and makes the guys stuff for it

davey has a bookshelf and jack has a desk

takes asl with kid blink and loves it

is the kid who always has to stand up to take notes because seating charts always put him in the back, despite his height

Sniper

okay, so sniper is a cheerleader but don’t let that fool you - she’s also on the wrestling team and will take you down

albert is like her older brother and helps her with her business class

she regrets having taken it, but she needed another cte credit and thought it would be safer than welding

she has a criminal law class that she loves with all of her heart

she writes in all capitals

she’s also that kid that writes all of her essays handwritten to spite her english teacher which, on the first day of school, complain about her writing in all caps

she’s good with history and has it with albert and it’s her personal goal to get him to laugh at her comments in that class

studying??? sounds studious. and not a part of her aesthetic.

has an attendance office aide period where she mostly does the homework for her next class period

is that kid that always almost swears in class debates

Specs

first, our boy is president for madrigals (he’s a low bass)

then he’s a proud part of the book club

his thing is psychology, and he goes in hard, he and sarah sit next to each other and talk in hushed whispers about all the cool stuff they learn

he takes very neat notes

but only has to look at them two or three times before he’s ready to take a test

is always an ensemble member in the school musicals

he is also a library aide and constantly smells like old books

very organized

his locker always has everything you could possibly need - a jacket, hat, bag of trail mix, water, etc.

the mom friend™

Spot

first of all, he’s that kid who always sits in the same seat. if you’re sitting in his seat, you’re dead. don’t @ him.

he hates science with a burning passion and is so glad he finished all of his credits for it in junior year

is actually a bit of a history buff

but he never participates in class, just writes really good essays and aces every test

and speaking of writing

he’s actually really into creative writing

who did you think started the writing club???

but he’s no less tough

he always wears a leather jacket, a red shirt, cuffs the bottom of his jeans, and has his pen tucked behind his ear

he doesn’t really take notes, and he only writes in pen

Tommy Boy

captain of dance company

is having none of race’s idiocy at practices either

but he’s actually really funny and nice, all the teachers love him

can’t write a summary in english for the life of him but will write a 10 page essay on why dance company is a part of the performing arts and deserves just as much recognition as theatre, choir, and band

only ever eats out of the vending machines for lunch

is a part of french club

really likes culinary arts because his one weakness is sugar

can’t do any form of art other than dance

but he doesn’t need to - he’s that good

notes??? what are those???

AND FLUFF ENSUES.

[ezra-blue]

FFXV Band AU Test Drive - A Favor

So here’s an AU idea I’ve been kicking around, and I thought I’d give writing the opening scene a try. 

Tentative Title: Sky Kings 1: A Favor...

The practice rooms in Highwind Hall were already full up, and Prompto cursed that he’d dared sleep in past seven when he knew he had an original composition due in three days. He hiked his bag straps up his shoulder as he bolted down the hall one more time, hoping someone might step out. He thought he’d finally spotted an open door, but just as he got there, he saw a familiar-looking dark-haired guy shutting it. Prompto swore as the door clicked shut, and debated for ten seconds knocking and asking if they could team up. He really needed the practice, and having someone to practice with wouldn’t hurt.

He knew that guy from his Advanced Guitar lecture halls: Noctis, the quiet bassist who seemed to sleep through the lectures but still walked away with high grades. He looked familiar for some other reason, but Prompto couldn’t place it. Either way, he had been meaning to get up the nerve to talk to him. 

Today wasn’t the day. He’d played alone up until now, what was another few sessions? Besides, he had a lot of work to do. Prompto turned from the door and started to shuffle away, until he heard a whistle and stood to attention in a snap. “Argentum.” Prompto didn’t move as Professor Leonis strode down the hall towards him. Professor Leonis was ex-military, and every student who’d had him for even a semester ended up as his soldier. Prompto’d had him three times, and he was only in his third semester. Professor Leonis stopped and stood in front of him. “Late finding a practice room, boy?”

“Yes, sir.” He smiled sheepishly despite himself. “Bad luck on my part.”

“Hmph. This close to midterms, it’s damn near impossible sometimes, and some fools hog the things.” Professor Leonis motioned. “Come with me.”

“Yessir!” For some reason, Professor Leonis liked Prompto. Maybe it was because he was exactly scared enough of the man, but he’d also worked harder than anyone he’d seen to impress him because he was scared of the man.

Professor Leonis unlocked the door to one of the larger demonstration rooms, set up with risers surrounding a pit, usually used for class practice sessions. “The acoustics in here are a little different from the smaller rooms, but you’re the kind of natural showman who can fill it.” He gestured to the amps at the front of the room, the covered drums and a grand piano, a few rows of empty chairs. “There are no reservations in here until eleven. You have three hours.”

“Thanks, Professor!” Prompto saluted him again, grinning, then swept his hair back and set his guitar case down against the blackboard and put his laptop bag down on a chair. He got his guitar out next, a black Concert-level acoustic-electric Fender, and tested it first, finger-picking an adaptation of Mozart’s Sonata No. 16 he’d come up with for a final during his first semester and tuning it as he went until it sounded just right. Then, he plugged it into the amp and gave her a good hard strum with his index and thumb pressing down a C. The chord filled the room with a sonorous thrum, and Prompto smiled with satisfaction. 

He took a breath, took a little solace in knowing he wasn’t a voice major, and began to pound out the beat on his guitar as he launched into a warm-up, a cover of one of his favorite, and sang at the top of his lungs: 

“When Rome’s in ruins, we are the lions, freed of the Coliseum!” 

He kept up the beat by tapping his foot on the chair, balancing his guitar on his bent knee as he strummed out the chords. “In poisoned places, we are anti-venom, we’re the beginning of the end...”

There was a noise at the door, but Prompto was already way into the song. Music was his life, absolutely one of his favorite things, third in line behind sightseeing (especially when he got to take some good photos!) and video games. When he was playing and singing, he felt like a different person, someone more confident than he was, someone people could like. As it was, he’d kind of had to get himself as far as he had. He’d been shy most of his life, and was only barely starting to come out of his shell now. However, he’d worked his way into a full-ride scholarship at his dream college and things only seemed to be getting better.

When he was here, he was more him than he’d ever been. He didn’t even mind that someone was watching him at the door now. He didn’t even mind that the someone in particular was Noctis. 

Instead, his natural showmanship took over as he fingerpicked out the piano accompaniment to the second verse: “C’mon, make it easy, say I never mattered, run it up the flagpole...” He winked at Noctis. “We will teach you how to make boys next do-or out of assholes!” He laughed naturally at his own joke, and strummed on into the bridge, even though he could feel Noctis watching him now. “Tonight, the foxes hunt the hounds, it’s all over now, before it has begun, we’ve already won!”

He kicked hard at the chorus, but he heard another voice join his: “WE AAAAAAAARE WILD, We are like young volcanoes!” Prompto had never heard that voice before singing the harmony like a moon reflecting his sunlight, and it startled him into dropping his pick. He yelped and tried to snatch it, which resulted in him nearly dropping the guitar, and he barely managed to keep himself together long enough to prevent a feedback squeal. When he looked around to the door again, Noctis was gone.

“Oh.” Prompto wondered if he’d imagined him being there at all. Well, that was enough warm-up, anyway. Instead, he opened up his laptop and the composition program, and his last set of critiques from TA Ulric’s review of his draft recording, and got down to work testing out a few new riffs.

When his time was up, Prompto left with his laptop and guitar strapped around his shoulders, but when he emerged into the hall, there was Noctis again, but he wasn’t alone. There were two other men in the hall, each looking a little older: one huge guy with an undercut hawk and tattoos all down his muscled arms, and a slight, tall man with glasses dressed like he belonged in an office, hair sleek and slicked back and trendy glasses perched on his nose. Oh, man, they must have been waiting on him. Prompto ducked his head down a little as if they might not notice him if he sank low enough. Both of the unfamiliar men seemed to be staring Prompto down as he walked past, but he noticed each of them subtly observe him as he loped down the hallway. However, when he passed Noctis, he realized they were both looking at him, and just as he passed Noctis, Noctis cleared his throat.

“Hey.” Prompto turned, just as Noctis extended a hand. “A favor...”

“Oh, hi! What’s up?” Prompto grinned and extended his hand. “Name’s Prompto, what can I do for ya?” 

Noctis actually smiled back and shook Prompto’s hand. “Noctis.” Then, he looked down, dragging the words out. “I wanted to ask... A Favor... House Atlantic.”

Prompto started. “Oh, Coheed and Cambria?”

“Yeah.” Noctis’ face lit up. “You know it? You got some time?” He motioned to the other two. “We’ve been looking for a really strong lead guitar and another vocalist. I’d like to test you out. Would you mind jamming with us a little?” 

Prompto started for a second, then grinned with glee. “Gimme ten minutes while you guys get warmed up. I’m down.”

[cosmosogler]

hi guys.

woke up late-ish. my limbs felt like rocks all morning. i had breakfast, and showered, and had lunch, and it was raining... it was so hard to move. i got in to the office around 2:30. nothing i needed was there as usual. i did, however, call the psychiatrist and get one of my pressing insurance problems out of the way. 

i studied for a bit. finished a chapter out of the last textbook. i don’t quite remember what else. but i biked home at 5. at 5:30 i turned around and jumped back on my bike and went out onto the paved trail to the next town over. it doubles as a hiking trail. ain’t no one gonna hike out on a wild hiking trail in the swamp though.

i think i ran into every bug living in this state. i was washing them out of my eyes all evening. but when i got home i felt sluggish and worn out in a not-bad way, which was refreshing. i was out for over an hour. and i was goin real fast. 

i was going to go farther but i heard a weird noise coming from the trees so i turned around and went home because it spooked me. on the way home i saw a deer. that was fascinating. i also did not get hit by any cars. i don’t know why the hiking trail crosses a 6-lane road with no stop sign.

hmm i never put the tornadus into my game from the target event this month. i should get on that soon. i need to finish pokemon ultra moon anyway, before the tournament in september. i have no drive to play... 

oh man, not in the mood for pokemon for eight entire months! now i can tell i’m REALLY depressed.

anyway i’ve been worn out all evening. i didn’t get any drawing done, but i did watch several more youtube videos and i read a bunch of other people’s fan fictions and left some comments. my bookmarks bar is almost tidy again. there’s a couple really long videos left... 

i finally heard back from raul after i poked him with a quick message on facebook. he said he really liked arc 3 and thought arc 1 was kind of sparse pacing-wise, especially at the beginning. which is entirely fair. i didn’t waste a lot of time building up the two characters’ relationship to the “love” point because it’s kind of a given in the game and i didn’t worry about that. but i can see why it would be abrupt for someone not familiar with the source material. 

actually the game doesn’t even show the first time they say that to each other. but it doesn’t have a lot of time to get everything established.

anyway he said he would scour the story with a magnifying glass before giving me the “full raul critique” on friday during club. so i have that to look forward to. 

... it didn’t make me happy. it wasn’t enough.

i didn’t think it would be. i could never expect it to be. “enough” can’t be what i’m after. i’m just so depressed it’s hard to figure out what is genuinely unsatisfying to me, and what is unsatisfying because i cannot enjoy anything right now. is it even important to distinguish between the two? 

i’m not getting enjoyment out of drawing. i can do it, when i am able to get started, and i get some things done... everything feels off though and i’m not having fun. nothing feels fun. taking an hour-long bike ride into the mild wilderness wasn’t fun, it was useful. i did it because i knew tiring myself out would help my appetite problems and it might help me sleep. might. 

and i tried to look around at the water and stuff. to try to be present. to have a new image to look at with my eyeballs besides my desk and the wall of my office. i found myself very occupied mentally though while i was biking. i wasn’t focusing on anything in particular. if anything, i just had a song stuck in my head and it was skipping like a broken record and that was taking up a large amount of my attention. i was trying to think through a writing problem i’m having and that was skipping around like a broken record too. i tried to focus on the road and the bumps in it but it wasn’t really a big enough deal that my mind wanted to linger on it. 

i like nodding at people as i pass by them, while they come from the other way. i like building that sort of “friendly community” vibe. i want to live in a place where people say hello to each other while we’re out walking or whatever, even if it doesn’t really mean anything. it makes me feel like i exist.

i mean... i went out for a ride because i wanted to. absolutely. but i didn’t... i didn’t get that something out of it that i usually get from doing things that i know are supposed to be fun for me. and because of that i know i am very depressed.

i feel so stuck in that. i have no idea what to do about it. hang out with people? pff, who would i hang out with? who would even want to spend quality time with me? 

who would spend quality time with me without making comments i’ve asked them not to make, and who will leave my house when i ask them to? who can i spend time with that won’t make me feel tired and sad?

but yeah. i’m not enjoying drawing right now. i’m not enjoying studying. i’m not enjoying anything. i was trying to study but the words didn’t mean anything, even as i looked at the equations and forced myself to follow what was happening. i could tell that it wasn’t hard to understand- i could “understand” it. but it was like trying to hold on to a wet bar of soap.

how do i get that energy back? how do i get that energy back in time for the test? how do i get that energy back in time for the test AND ALSO IN TIME TO STUDY AND PREPARE FOR THE TEST IN A PRODUCTIVE WAY?

how do i do that when my body is breaking down and my brain is breaking down and nothing feels good??

i want to draw, and i know i should draw, but it feels like i can’t. and yesterday while i was drawing it was so hard to get anything to look right and i wasn’t having fun. just a vague sort of satisfaction that i was, at least, inching forward, even if it wasn’t at the quality i normally like to hold my art to.

why does this all have to be my job? why is it all ONLY my job? why can’t someone else handle this for a little bit? the insurance. the finances. the chores. my physical and mental health. my social life. i have to initiate all of the plans and conversations with my irl friends. i have to ask for help AND figure out how other people can help because all they ever say is “if you need anything let me know!” 

and then i get frustrated because even if someone did offer to come over and sweep my floors for me i wouldn’t let them in my home! what if they decided not to leave when i asked?? harrison doesn’t. mom barely manages it. so even if someone did know how to help, how would i even accept that? what can anyone even do for me that isn’t also a hassle for me? 

why can’t people at the psychology clinic just give me the paper work i need to get my reimbursement process started? why did they only give me a paper saying how much money i gave them?? why did they tell me to try again later and call a guy who has never been there any time i’ve tried to contact him??? why do i have to fight to take every SINGLE step along this path???? this is a completely unnecessary obstacle! just print out the receipt!!! you HAVE to have one if you contacted my insurance to learn that they weren’t covering it!!!!

man. i don’t even know what i want. if one of my classmates did something super nice for me at this point i’d probably just forget about it and keep feeling depressed and neglected. 

i kinda hate being alive right now. i’m so tired. it feels like nothing helps. and everything that might help is out of reach. but i don’t even know what might help anymore. so i don’t even know where to reach. i feel so overwhelmed and alone. i don’t know how to let myself feel less alone.

[asfeedin]

How Phil Jackson is influencing today’s NBA coaches

THREE DAYS HAD passed since Doc Rivers watched the first two episodes of “The Last Dance,” and he couldn’t get the predicament former Chicago Bulls coach Phil Jackson faced during that 1997-98 season out of his head.

“Can you imagine?” Rivers asked on the twice-weekly Zoom call he has been having with his LA Clippers coaching staff since the NBA season was postponed on March 11. “Can you imagine being told before the year that you’re going to get fired?”

As the 10-part docuseries details, the Bulls had just won back-to-back championships, and their fifth championship in seven years, but general manager Jerry Krause had decided that no matter what the team did that season, it was time to rebuild — and Jackson wouldn’t be the head coach.

“Can you imagine having the right mindset to teach?” Rivers lamented. “To get guys to buy into their role and do the right thing? I can’t even imagine the patience and serenity he had to have to be able to do that.”

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Rivers has been thinking about Jackson a lot in recent days. He watched “The Last Dance.” Then he rewatched the battles his Boston Celtics had with Jackson’s Los Angeles Lakers in the 2008 and 2010 NBA Finals, when they re-aired on ESPN last week. And it made him realize he hasn’t connected with the Hall of Fame coach in a while.

“You’re making me want to call him,” Rivers said.

At first glance, Rivers and Jackson would seem to be longtime rivals. But Rivers said they used to talk on the phone and text a fair amount, coach to coach, about all sorts of things. A few years ago, Rivers even invited Jackson to speak at a clinic he was hosting at the Clippers’ practice facility, and Jackson accepted without hesitation.

“We had a good relationship,” Rivers said. “It’s funny, no one has a great one unless you’re in his circle, but we had a good one.”

For a coach of his stature, Jackson’s circle has always seemed relatively small. Only a few of his former players — Steve Kerr and Luke Walton — are current head coaches in the NBA. Most of his coaching contemporaries were too consumed with trying to beat the man who won 11 titles in his 20 years on the bench, to befriend him. Front-office executives were mostly annoyed he thought he would succeed in that type of role, without doing it the way they did.

So when Jackson retired from coaching in 2011, and stepped down after an unsuccessful run as president of the New York Knicks in 2017, there wasn’t a loud chorus singing his praises. If anything, there was a loud chorus airing out three decades of gripes and jealousies.

Those who found him aloof or arrogant while he was on top of the NBA world almost seemed to delight in seeing his triangle offense belittled by analytics wonks and pace-and-space devotees.

Those who ascribed his success to the good fortune of coaching all-time greats like Michael Jordan, Scottie Pippen, Kobe Bryant and Shaquille O’Neal, loved to point out how poorly squabbles with Carmelo Anthony and Kristaps Porzingis turned out.

This is a familiar comeuppance for those who have succeeded at the highest level. Those you beat on your way to the top exact their revenge once you’ve been humbled. It was to be expected, and yet Jackson has done little to quiet or combat those who would besmirch his reputation.

He has made few public appearances and given even fewer interviews since he retired to his home in Montana. Even his previously engaging Twitter feed has gone quiet — last posting an article about meditation in June 2018.

And he has politely declined interview requests regarding “The Last Dance,” as he already said quite a bit in a four-hour interview for the project.

But that’s only the public side of things. Because as Rivers and a select group of current NBA coaches have found out, Jackson still has a lot to say about basketball — if the right person is asking the question.

“The man won 11 championships. Do I have that correct?” Rivers said. “Anybody that wins 11 championships should be celebrated every day. But I think because Phil was a loner in a lot of ways, a lot of people felt like he didn’t spend time with other coaches and all that stuff.

“If you asked him, he would, though.”

THERE IS NO secret code word. No special name for the growing group of coaches who have reached out and sought mentoring or advice from Jackson. There’s not even an obvious connection between them.

Rivers knew Jackson from coaching against him and through Tyronn Lue, who’d played for Jackson. Philadelphia 76ers coach Brett Brown was introduced via Luc Longley and Coby Karl, both of whom played for Jackson. Chicago Bulls coach Jim Boylen asked his owner, Jerry Reinsdorf, and Jackson’s former player John Paxson for an introduction. Toronto Raptors head coach Nick Nurse asked Alex McKechnie, his vice president of player health and performance, who’d worked with Jackson in Los Angeles. Lakers coach Frank Vogel got to know him through former Jackson assistant Brian Shaw. Dallas Mavericks head coach Rick Carlisle just knows everyone as president of the NBA Coaches Association.

The 10-part Michael Jordan documentary “The Last Dance” is here.

• Latest updates, full schedule • NBA experts on MJ’s greatness • Big moments from the premiere • How to get ready for the doc

What they all have in common is a desire to learn from the man they consider one of the greatest coaches of all time.

“I’ve always studied and admired his approach,” Vogel said. “I consider him the GOAT of NBA coaches.”

“Phil’s a great example of handling whatever comes his way,” Rivers said. “We all want the calm, and he dealt in the calm very well. But he also dealt with the storms extremely well. He got personalities and people to work together.”

Whatever rivalries Jackson might have had during his coaching career have been quickly cast aside.

“My Spurs world was very competitive with his,” Brown said. “So the opportunity to seek higher counsel was very much appreciated.”

And when coaches get on the phone with Jackson, or go to see him at his home in Montana, he is not always what they pictured.

“There’s this perception of him as the Zen Master,” Boylen said. “No. He’s a basketball junkie. He’s a diehard hooper. That’s what I loved about him.”

There is one thing each coach who has made the effort to get to know Jackson seems to say afterward, however.

The time they spent with him was their time. Whatever they got from that time remains between them.

“I’m not trying to spill the beans on everything we did,” Nurse said. “But it was awesome. It was really awesome.”

NURSE WASN’T SURE what to expect when he reached out to Jackson in the summer of 2018, a few weeks after he was named coach of the Raptors.

He’d studied Jackson for years. As a young coach at Grand View University in Des Moines, Iowa, in the early 1990s, Nurse would often drive to Chicago, buy a standing room-only ticket to watch Jackson’s Bulls, then drive the five hours back to Des Moines after the game. When he coached in England in the late 1990s, Nurse would order Bulls videotapes and study Jackson’s offense — Nurse’s teams ran the triangle then — his rotations, his adjustments, even his sideline demeanor.

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So when McKechnie offered to arrange a meeting with Jackson, Nurse couldn’t resist.

He’d already met with former Chicago Cubs manager Joe Maddon, Los Angeles Rams coach Sean McVay and Clemson football coach Dabo Swinney to get advice before embarking on his first NBA head-coaching job. But meeting Jackson would be different. The Zen Master invited him to his house in Montana — for three days.

“I didn’t know if I was going to go out there for a cup of coffee with him and that’s it,” Nurse said. “But I figured if that happened, I’d just take a few days [in Montana] to myself, to relax.”

That cup of coffee turned into a three-day coaching retreat. They drove around in Jackson’s truck, watched film together and broke down plays on a whiteboard.

Nurse couldn’t believe what was happening. He was nerding out with the coach he’d studied and admired for years.

“It was fun, because he was testing my knowledge of basketball a bit, too,” Nurse said. “He’d be telling a story and say, ‘That red-headed kid’ and stop and see if I could fill in the blanks.

“Fortunately I’m enough of a historian — or a geek — to know. So I’d say, ‘Yeah, that was Matt Bonner’ or whatever. And I could tell he liked that.”

Boylen said he even studied before he went to visit Jackson in Montana.

“I think he researches people before they come. Because he knew some stuff about me — like, ‘I know you coach guys hard. … You’re a defensive-minded guy,'” Boylen said. “So I was prepared, too. I had notes, copies of rosters, personnel, coaches he’d hired. I read his books.”

Like Nurse, Boylen had no idea how much time Jackson would spend with him. They had plans for lunch at a local cafe and that’s it.

“I think the place closed at 3, and we left at 5,” he said. “Then we had dinner at this place that closed at 9, and we stayed until 10.”

The next morning he stopped by the bakery and had them make a quiche he could bring over to Jackson’s house for lunch.

“It was one of the coolest things I’ve ever done,” Boylen said.

Throughout his two seasons in Chicago, Boylen says he has received frequent texts and emails from Jackson. At one point, Boylen asked him to watch the Bulls and offer critiques and suggestions. Jackson watched a few games, then sent a detailed note breaking down the team’s offense and suggesting some plays from the pinch-post that might unlock things.

“He confirmed some things that I believe in, which made me feel good, because he’s the best coach ever,” Boylen said. “But he also opened my mind up to some things, too.”

Jackson’s not sure what to call the relationships he has built with this group of NBA coaches either. Mentoring isn’t quite the right term. That feels too formal for what’s more like two coaches talking about the game they love.

But the coaches who’ve spent a couple days with Jackson, in Montana or Los Angeles, say it has had a huge effect on them.

“Phil is a longtime trusted friend,” Mavericks coach Rick Carlisle said. “I talk basketball at length with him two or three times a year. He’s a great resource and has been extremely generous with his time and knowledge to all coaches.”

THE MEETING STARTED at the Ritz-Carlton Marina Del Rey in California, far away from the prying eyes and microphones of the New York City media looking for any sign of whom Jackson was interviewing to be the next Knicks coach.

Vogel had looked up to Jackson for years and had even hired Shaw — one of Jackson’s top assistants with the Lakers — on his staff with the Indiana Pacers.

“Literally, for those two years that I had Brian,” Vogel said, “every decision that came up, I was like, ‘How’d you guys do it in L.A.? What would Phil do here? How did Phil travel with the team? Did he allow people’s guests to come on a plane? What was his morning shootaround routine?'”

But he’d spoken to Jackson only once, for about five minutes when he scouted for the Lakers in 2006, before he flew out to Los Angeles to interview for the Knicks job.

He was nervous but excited.

The interview began at the hotel, then continued to dinner at a small pizza restaurant in Venice that Vogel is still trying to find his way back to. The next morning they had breakfast and spent five to six more hours on a whiteboard.

“We talked about everything,” Vogel said. “From life to our families to coaching, X’s and O’s on the court and offensive systems, whether it’s a triangle or another system, defensive coverages.”

Although he didn’t get the job, it was two days he’ll never forget.

“I was raised in the Bobby Knight era of coaches,” Vogel said. “You know, MF-this. MF-that. And Phil never did that. I just felt like his approach was — and I’m by no means a Zen guy — but the calm mental adjustment is something that I try to always carry with any conflict or any adversity my team faces.

“I always admired that approach, letting guys play in. Not bailing teams with timeouts, letting them play through things, figure things out themselves.”

That calm demeanor under pressure is something that sticks out for Sacramento Kings coach Luke Walton, who played for the Lakers from 2003 to ’11.

“One of the main things that I try to take with me, from what Phil has taught,” Walton said, “is training yourself and your players to always try to be able to stay level-headed throughout and not get too emotionally high or too emotionally low.

“He would talk about The Peaceful Warrior, and say, that’s where you’re at your most dangerous, if you can stay in that area.”

LIKE MOST OF the players on the 1997-98 Bulls who were interviewed for “The Last Dance,” Kerr was sent links to preview the docuseries a few weeks ago.

Thus far, he has resisted the temptation to binge watch. He lived through all the drama, so watching it all again is a bit surreal.

Star forward Scottie Pippen was upset about his contract and missed the first few months of the 1997-98 season to have foot surgery as a sort of protest. Jordan publicly declared he wouldn’t play for any coach but Jackson, who management had already announced wouldn’t be back the following season. Mercurial forward Dennis Rodman wasn’t under contract for the following season either.

At one point, Pippen was so upset with Bulls management, he asked for a trade and vowed not to play for the Bulls again. Somehow Jackson coaxed all of that back together, into another championship run.

“That was my favorite part of the first episodes,” Kerr said. “How Phil connected to Scottie, and made sure Scottie was connected to us as a group by saying, ‘We’re going to sacrifice the early part of the season. But we have to bring him into the fold. He’s one of our guys. We’ve got to back him up on this.’

“No other coach would say what Phil said.”

Jackson often talked to Pippen about his anger during that season. He wanted him to feel safe expressing that to him and hoped the trust he earned would eventually bring Pippen back around to fighting alongside his teammates, rather than against management.

With Rodman, Jackson had to take a different tack.

He brought in Jack Haley to be his de facto handler. He brought in a therapist to talk to him weekly, which often happened at the Taco John’s or some fast food place in the mall. He made a deal with Rodman that he didn’t have to be at the arena an hour and a half before games like the other players — he could show up an hour beforehand — but if he was late he’d be fined. And then he told the rest of the team about the deal he’d made, to make sure they saw it as pragmatism, not favoritism.

“It didn’t bother us,” Kerr said. “It wasn’t like some rookie who thought he was better than everybody else. This was Dennis Rodman. He was a great player but a complex person. And so we understood that Phil had a big job on his hands.”

Kerr also remembers a meeting in which Jackson showed video of Rodman’s acceptance speech when he was named NBA Defensive Player of the Year in 1990 as a member of the Detroit Pistons.

“Dennis was crying during the press conference, talking about how much it meant to him,” Kerr said.

“And the reason Phil showed us that with Dennis sitting there, at least my read, was he wanted us to know even though Dennis was late and then getting kicked out and suspended and whatever. He wanted us to know how much Dennis cared.

“And he wanted Dennis to know that we all cared about him, too.”

KERR HASN’T TALKED to Jackson as much this season as he has in the past. Like Rivers, watching “The Last Dance” has made Kerr want to reach out again.

“I sent him an email this morning,” Kerr said, when reached Saturday afternoon. “I should go check to see if he’s written back yet.”

He doesn’t worry about his old coach’s feelings or whether his reputation has been bruised in recent years.

“I think he’s fine,” Kerr said. “Phil was always so comfortable in his own skin.”

They talked often when Kerr was making the transition from broadcaster to coach in 2014. Over the years, Kerr had kept a book full of his beliefs about basketball and coaching. If he ever led a team, this was the book he wanted to bring to life.

Jackson told him that’s what he had done as a young coach, too: figure out what you believe in, then find a way to translate that to a team.

“We talked a lot about the triangle,” Kerr said. “He had searched for an offense for many years that would tie together with his philosophy.

“I had never heard anybody say something like that before. The triangle was not just an offense to run, it was part of a whole philosophy of teamwork and connectivity. And I totally felt it when I was playing there. I never felt more important as a player than I did in Chicago.”

Kerr wanted to bring that to his team, when he became a head coach. To find a philosophy, a mantra, a system, that made every player on the team feel as important as Jackson had made him feel as a reserve for the Bulls.

“For me,” Kerr said. “That was ‘Strength in Numbers.'”

The night before his first training camp with the Golden State Warriors, he showed his new team a video.

“I had Marv Albert narrate,” Kerr said, laughing at the memory. “I had a lot of movie references, movie clips and humor. All these things that Phil did.”

He wasn’t going to run the triangle, but, “I wanted that same philosophy of everybody being valued, everybody touching the ball. Everybody being empowered. That was so powerful to me as a player. And all that came from Phil.”

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Tags: Chicago Bulls, Coaches, daily, influencing, Jackson, Michael Jordan, NBA, Phil, todays

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[existentialkendall-blog]

Sharpie Soulmates (Soulmate AU)

Pairing: Kickthestickz Wordcount: 2.3k Rating: bad language, but nothing to cry about

Request/Prompt: Whatever you write on yourself appears on your soulmate but disappears from your skin. Pj is always covered in horrible pick up lines and crudely drawn dicks. While Chris is covered in doodles and gets an occasional 'fuck you' or 'you're a dick' on himself from pj. Eventually they meet when Chris writes 'I have a small dick' on his forehead and sees pj.

A/N: Request a fic here, click a like down there. This isn’t youtube people, you guys aren’t stupid enough to need to be told what to do

At first, PJ doesn't notice the harsh black lines on his skin. Usually flecks of paint adorn his skin, and consumed with work, he doesn't spend a lot of time thinking about himself. It's always the next idea, the following project, the bigger picture. When it first happens he doesn't see it until it's almost faded. On his right ankle, the small crude pen drawing of a dick, moving whenever he flexed his foot. It's repulsive, and for the first few seconds he's confused. Then he grabs the closest sharpie, and traces the image hoping it will go away. Since it's on his skin, a replica over the top might send the drawing back to it's owner. It doesn't, and now he's marred someone else with pornography. He throws the pen down in frustration and licks his finger, rubbing at the spot. It doesn't do anything. When he's in the shower, some 8 minutes later, he has an epiphany of sorts. He's just made contact with his soulmate, and the first interaction they had was matching ankle dicks. PJ groans, head falling back against the shower wall in annoyance.

___

It's strange, but paint doesn't transfer or leave his skin. It's only pen, ink. So when he's painting a cardboard box white, because he found a stash of the boxes yesterday, he's almost disappointed that he can't stay clean. "Is this for a new video?" Jamie asks, bent over his shoulder and watching the paint transform the conventional brown to a clinical white. Could be an office, a space station, a hospital. Most of the time he sticks with the brown, but for some reason he was in the mood for painting a calming white. PJ nods, still thinking about a video idea, "Yeah. I've got something in mind." "Cool, let me know when you've figured everything out," PJ nods again, "Also... What the hell is that?" Alert due to the shift in Jamie's voice, he turns and looks at his friend confused, then his eyes trail down and he sees it. 'Stop, drop, and roll, baby. You are on fire' Written on his arm in chicken scratch font, thick because it'd been gone over several times with the pen. "I..." He trails off, "I. I think that is my soulmate."Jamie pats him on the back in congratulations. "Well done."As soon as Jamie's retreating back leaves the room PJ scribbles on his arm 'You're a real dick' It doesn't take long for the message to receive a reply, and when it does PJ's irritated groan is possibly louder than yesterdays. 'I do have a real dick! Did you like the preview I sent you yesterday? Judging from your eager response I'd say yes' He bites his lip while writing, lower down then before so the words flow like a conversation on the other persons skin, smiling because even though the person on the other end is annoying the crap out of him, his soulmate is a boy. A man. He's never been with a guy before, and it's exciting yet nerve wracking to know he will be. 'Oh so that was a scale copy? I'm so sorry that you didn't grow during puberty like the rest of us' PJ reads the next piece of writing, grinning even more, then goes back to painting. When Sophie asks him later why he has 'YOU HAVE A BIG COCK???' taking up three quarters of his forearm, he flushes a pretty pink and laughs awkwardly.

___

On the second day he nervously asks 'What's your name?' The pen flips restlessly in his hand, patting against his black jeaned thigh until the name appears on his other arm, because as PJ quickly learnt, the love of his eternity is left handed. 'Chris' Huh. Chris. With the pad of his index finger, he traces each letter tentatively. When he reaches the end he repeats the motion, hovering over the capital C that seems so much more magnetic than the other letters. 'And yours' PJ's eyes soften and his mouth turns up at the corners. Yours. His. Mine. And then he understands the question and uses his green fine liner to trace 'PJ' adding several layers of ink so it's bold and bright and him.

___

The problem is, PJ's a doodler. One trait that's been fluid since he was a child is that he loves to doodle. Especially on his skin. In fact, some of his best drawings were conceived that way during school; too tired to care about the subjects and too unprepared to bring extra paper. Skin was there for him when paper was not. He couldn't kick the habit when he entered University, and he sure as hell can't kick it now when he's a year in. Frequently he finds himself sitting with a pack of felt tipped Crayolas, or no name fineliners, drawing small, and large, designs on his left arm. For the past week it's been no different. What's annoying is he liked seeing the efforts of his creative process on his arm, wearing it like a tattoo, a badge of honour. But it disappears quickly, and he has to start again. Chris leaves him a critique one day running across the centre of his wrist. 'You're an incredible artist' It takes PJ by surprise. He's used to waking up and finding thickly inked penises on various locations on his body, or cheesy chat up lines that have PJ rolling his eyes but smiling fondly. Several of his favourites include; 'There are a lot of fish in the sea, but you’re the only one I’d like to mount' 'Oh no, I’m choking! I need mouth to mouth, quick!' 'I’m on top of things. Would you like to be one of them?' Needless to say, every written sentence and poorly thought out line, no matter how disturbing or rude, is both irritating and endearing.

___

That is, until the guy buys a six pack of sharpies. Beforehand it was ballpoint pens, stuff he was able to wash off easily. Not now. When he steps into the shower one morning, eyes blearily searching for the shampoo to wash the sleep out of his frenzied hair, he thinks everything is fine. There aren't any markings, and to be honest, that's a relief because they're a bitch to wash off every morning. It's when he's out of the shower and in front of the mirror, towelling down to get rid of the individual water droplets that trail down his chest, that he catches the black in the corner of his eye. 'My hand belongs here' PJ's jaw drops and he's stuck still for a few fleeting seconds. "What the fuck." It's on his neck. Not on a small scale, but like the Joker's writing, jagged and uneven. Backwards in the mirror, but PJ has magicked up enough mirror demons to read reversed. Almost blinded by rage and incredulousness, he's about to charge out of his tiny bathroom and write something way more offensive on his own body for Chris to have scar his skin for the days it takes for Sharpie to wash off. But then he spots 'Wanna go for a test drive?' on his hipbone as he's turning to leave. And then, 'Insert finger here' complete with an arrow pointing down to his asshole. It's almost illegible, how he managed to contort his body enough to scribble it on is beyond him. Amazed at Chris's audacity and carelessness he dashes out to his desk and plucks a bright blue permanent marker up. As he's writing a long list of complaints on his leg, and then rising up to his chest, he feels the similarities to writing film reviews on IMBd or letters of complaint that his parents used to do. Except, this is to the guy he's destined to be with, and he knows the complaining won't do jack shit to change his behaviour. ___

It's relatively peaceful for a while. PJ it still littered with pick up lines daily, the 'My bedroom has an interesting ceiling, I could take you on a guided tour' and the 'When are you expected back at Heaven?', and PJ still absently doodles on the curve of his wrist and palm of his hand, forgetting that Chris will see it until it's already sent. During this time he's been uploading more to YouTube. It's still in it's early stages, but he's grateful for the site because he's getting much more experience. Due to work, and YouTube, and constant creating, he hasn't really thought about meeting Chris. Although they're talked (if you can call it that) every day, they haven't discussed personal details, or their future together. Because if they're soulmates, they have to be together, there's no way they can be with anyone else.

___

PJ wakes up stupidly early, the sun hasn't fully risen yet and the sky is a dusty grey, illuminated by yellowing streetlights. He forces himself to get up, and leave the house before 6:00am. The train to London leaves at 7:00am, and he wants to get coffee from the station before the journey. He pulls on his favourite green sleeved t-shirt slowly, bones cracking at the movements, and when he slides his socks on the fading purple dick on the base of his foot makes his smirk. Fully dressed and he's in the bathroom, tiredly dragging a toothbrush and staring at the sink with half closed eyes. He's out for the whole day, all four of his 'team' are. It's both research for a short film they're making for his Uni course, and a golden opportunity to meet with some sponsors that might fund his next big personal project. Until. "FUCK!" PJ yells, toothbrush falling from his open hands and eyes wide. "No! No, no, no," He wets a flannel and starts rubbing at his forehead, shaking with anxious frustration. The pen won't come off. 'I've got a small dick' is going to be permanently tattooed on his face in all the colours of the rainbow for the entire day. He adds soap and tries again, heart pounding uncomfortably. He can't meet sponsors with that filth tainting him. "Chris, you fucking asshole, I'm going to fucking kill you," PJ mutters, giving up, leaving his skin a red mess. He shoves a beanie on, and leaves the house with a scowl firmly fixed onto his face. His travelling companions don't say a word, even though they heard his angry explosion of profanities earlier. They get to London and shoot some footage in Hyde Park, brown boots hitting grey pavement as the scenery begins to change and the crowds grow thicker. He's actually forgotten that he's mad at Chris, too busy laughing at the stupid faces his friends are pulling, and running along the grass for various nature sequences. After a few hours they stop, and decide to head to a café. It's a warm spring day, and he peels off his beanie to stop his head from overheating. From where he's stood in the queue, he can see his friends take the leather sofas at the end of the shop, claiming it for their group only. One persons order is fulfilled, one step forward, the queue gets smaller. He can feel his fringe sticking to his forehead and he wipes it aside, grimacing at the damp strands that he knows will be several shades darker then the rest of his hair. At first, he doesn't notice the guy staring at him next to the floor to ceiling windows. He's wearing a baby blue striped t-shirt, coupled with raised eyebrows and messy hair. On the high table next to him is an abandoned coffee, keeping warm under the beating sun from outside. He's still there when they leave, PJ's hat clutched between his fingers because it's too freakin hot to put it back on. His camera bag is slouched across his body, and he's grinning at something Sophie says, when a hand clamps his shoulder and he turns around. The stranger that had been watching him is gaping open mouthed at PJ's forehead. That's when he remembers what Chris wrote, and he's going to explain, he swears he is, but the guy is hot. His floppy brown hair is messy above green flecked hazel eyes, and his mouth is practically begging to be... put to use. "I can explain," He finally breathes out, making an effort to stop staring at the stranger. The guy quirks an eyebrow and crosses his arms, as if to say go ahead, I've got all day. "See, this thing, y'know-""Let me stop you right there," He smirks, interrupting PJ's garbled rambling. From his pocket he pulls out a thin marker and in sloped, disjointed text, writes something on his palm. Then he takes PJ's slender wrist in his hand, circling it with his fingers, and turns it around, his thumb drifting idly down his wrist and resting over PJ's pulse point.

you're PJ what's on your forehead is a work of art just like your face I'm fated to love you

"Do I get a hello kiss or do you not put out on the first date?" Chris smiles wide and his other hand, the one not sliding into his own palm and curling around his fingers so they entwine, is reaching around his waist. PJ blushes and manages a "Public," Before slipping out of his grasp. "Oh c'mon honey, it's gonna happen sometime," Chris whines, high pitched and strung out. PJ shakes his head, and walks away from Chris. He follows him, long legs catching up quickly. He throws an arm around PJ's shoulders casually and leans down, pressing a wet open mouthed kiss on the side of his cheek. "You and me Peej, we're gonna fuck away the world." PJ rolls his eyes, brain automatically lending the words dick, and you're a. But he rejects his instinct and goes for a muttered "You should feel so lucky." "Oh I will. Later." It's natural, seamless, right. Chris is his. He is Chris's.

Part 2 

[shapesweets83-blog]

“The City That Holds No One Accountable”

Back in the ‘80s, a young workout guy out of Delaware County took Philly by storm. He had a rebellious spirit and was obsessed with pirates. He anticipated the workout craze, built a physical therapy empire, sold it for a fortune, then bought part of the Sixers, and rebuilt that moribund franchise into the hottest of tickets. Through it all, Pat Croce was a master of branding and hype. He was, seemingly, all about the show.

Prefer the audio version of this story? Listen to this article on CitizenCast below:

http://traffic.libsyn.com/citizencast/thecitythatholdsnooneaccountable.mp3

But behind all the sizzle was a philosophy that we could use more of today. Croce was a devotee of Kaizen, the Japanese business philosophy of continual improvement. It’s a system of identifying problems and testing improvements. Achieving the goals of Kaizen means changing an organization’s culture such that, every day, everyone in it consciously does something to make the team better. Scorecards are filled out and weekly reports filed by employees at every level—from the new hire to the CEO—chronicling each and every incremental improvement each day. It’s a strategy that requires peer-to-peer accountability, and, ultimately, a leader willing to be held accountable for the dynamic changes that emerge from a culture of daily, incremental ones.

A Kaizen leader would use the Amazon loss as an opportunity. To drive home a culture of continual improvement, he’d conduct an autopsy into why we didn’t win, and then unleash a strategy, with goals and timetables, in order to win the next time we take the playing field.

I’ve been thinking of Kaizen a lot lately, because it seems to me its two overarching principles—the pursuit of continual improvement and accountability—are precisely what’s missing in our city government. 

A deep dive into the fallout from our Amazon bid is instructive. Once we learned that Philly did not win the Amazon sweepstakes, the reactions fell roughly into two camps. One group argued that Philly had dodged a bullet, positing that any package of incentives was, in effect, corporate welfare and, by trying to entice the world’s richest man to choose us, we were actually worsening the gap between the haves and have-nots.

While there are legitimate concerns that would have to be managed had we gotten Amazon’s nod, (gentrification comes to mind), this critique ignores our special circumstances: We have hardly any tax base. We have 26 percent poverty, only a quarter of our residents hold bachelor degrees, and we’re behind 23 other cities in terms of economic growth. A city with that trifecta of data would be committing malpractice to not compete for 25,000 or 50,000 six-figure jobs. (Moreover, incentive packages are not corporate welfare; they’re investments. You can invest wisely or stupidly. New York’s winning bid, for instance, was smart: 85 percent of it was performance-based, contingent upon job creation and sizable investments in local communities.)

The other, less ideological, reaction is actually more troubling. From countless political and civic leaders, we saw a defensive instinct to essentially celebrate our participation trophy. “This was certainly not the news we were hoping for … but I can’t help but be proud of the bid we submitted,” Mayor Kenney said. “We are in a stronger position than ever to show businesses of all sizes that our city is an ideal place to live, work, and play.”

That’s fine, I guess, but it’s not exactly Kaizen. A Kaizen leader would use the loss—which is what it was—as an opportunity. To drive home a culture of continual improvement, he’d conduct an autopsy into why we didn’t win, and then unleash a strategy, with goals and timetables, in order to win the next time we take the playing field. The only civic leader I saw approach the news of Amazon’s selection that way was Drexel President John Fry, who, rather than merely cheerlead in an Inquirer op-ed, zeroed in on our comparative lack of workforce talent as an area where Philly came up short.

We know Jim Kenney can practice Kaizen—he can embrace problem-solving and accountability. He just has to first overcome his first, and worst, instinct: To deflect and defend.

To that critique, I would add our dysfunctional political system. Over a year ago, at the launch of Philly’s Amazon bid, a prominent elected official who had ongoing contact with Jeff Bezos at the time told me it was already a fait accompli: The political landscape in our state and city would scare Amazon away. At the time, Governor Tom Wolf and the legislature had blown numerous deadlines and couldn’t come up with a state budget, and Jim Kenney had just cemented his reputation as the nation’s premier tax and spender. “Businesses like certainty when it comes to tax policy,” he said, implying that Pennsylvania and especially Philly, with its high-tax, anti-business policies, couldn’t provide it.

Moreover, maybe labor leader John Dougherty wasn’t the best spokesperson to help make Philly’s case to Amazon. It’s shameful that, more than two years ago, the Justice Department leaked that he was under federal investigation, and there have been no updates since. At some point, it’s only fair to indict a target or not. (The same principle ought to apply to special prosecutors). But the fact is, Dougherty is still under investigation, and it wouldn’t take more than a Google search for Jeff Bezos to determine that maybe doing business with Johnny Doc might not be in his famously non-unionized company’s best interest.

As for accountability, the Kenney administration often seems unaware of that term. That’s not hyperbole; Kenney Chief of Staff Jim Engler said as much in a November 21 Inquirer story about how—eight months after Councilman Allen Domb’s cross-examining of finance officials during budget hearings—the administration has finally unearthed $21 million in accounting errors, leaving some $12 million still unaccounted for. The last line of the story was priceless: “As to the question of whether anyone will be fired over the $40 million in accounting mistakes, Engler said: ‘No, that’s not how we operate.’”

Screw “The City That Loves You Back.” You want a little truth in advertising? Maybe our new slogan should be “The City That Holds No One Accountable.” Off the top of my head, here’s a list of instances where obfuscating city officials refused to be held accountable:

Exhibit A. In any midsize private organization, bookkeepers who don’t reconcile bank accounts for years would be unceremoniously shown the door. Not so the $4.7 billion corporation known as Philadelphia. Under Finance Director Rob Dubow, accounts have  gone unreconciled for years, $33 million has been missing for months, and $924 million in accounting errors were highlighted in a Controller’s report. Makes you confident that the city is a responsible steward of your tax dollars, huh?

I asked Dubow who was accountable and he said, “I’m responsible.” Interesting word choice, isn’t it? After all, taking responsibility is not the same thing as being held accountable. The latter includes consequences for failing to meet your responsibilities.

When Jim Engler says “that’s not how we operate,” the effect is to establish the opposite of a Kaizen culture. It says to all other city employees: Play fast and loose with your fiduciary responsibility to the taxpayer and there will be no consequences.

Contrast that with how the mayor of Spokane, Washington reacted when consecutive audits of his city’s accounting practices found material weaknesses. “I wish you the very best in your future professional endeavors,” wrote Mayor David Condon to his director of accounting.

I’ve been thinking of Kaizen a lot lately, because it seems to me its two overarching principles—the pursuit of continual improvement and accountability—are precisely what’s missing in our city government.

Exhibit B. It was revealed last year that fully one-fourth of all those pre-K programs the Mayor’s much-hyped soda tax was meant to fund had missing or incomplete FBI, state police or child abuse clearances in recent years and that three providers owed back taxes to the city. Tellingly, the Mayor didn’t respond to the news by acknowledging the problem and outlining a plan to fix it.

“It’s just paperwork,” the Mayor told Channel 6’s Chad Pradelli. “The only thing you raised is paperwork.” Try telling that to a parent who is sending her kid to a Pre-K program with a teacher who hasn’t cleared a child abuse check.

Exhibit C. It’s not just Kenney who appears allergic to being held accountable. District Attorney Larry Krasner deflected blame and practiced whataboutism when it came to light that a Honduran citizen, given sanctuary in Philadelphia, had repeatedly raped a 5-year-old. “The Trump administration has made it so that immigrant children can get raped because they’re afraid to call the police,” said Krasner, ludicrously blaming Trump for the rape of a 5-year-old instead of acknowledging that releasing those who would terrorize law-abiding communities back into them does nothing to advance the cause of immigration.

Exhibit D. Our poverty rate is the worst in the nation, and we’re the only big city to see median household income drop and hunger increase of late, all of which provided the disturbing context when the Inquirer zeroed in on the city’s anti-poverty office, the Office of Community Empowerment and Opportunity. Reporters Claudia Vargas and TyLisa Johnson detailed how the office has spent $65 million with hardly any results to show for it, save Executive Director Mitch Little’s $130,000 salary, the $95,000 for his assistant and scheduler, and the $160,000 for his speechwriter and executive coach.

The Kaizen leader would react this way: “What we’ve been doing hasn’t worked,” she’d say. “It is unacceptable that we lead the nation in poverty, in deep poverty, and in children in poverty, and that we have anemic economic growth compared to other cities. That’s why I’m convening the best and the brightest thinkers from academia, the private sector, the nonprofit cohort, and government to rethink what we’re doing and how we’re doing it. It’s time for a Marshall Plan on poverty in the city where American Democracy was created.”

How did Jim Kenney react? He hid behind a spokeswoman, maintaining that the city’s anti-poverty agenda is “comprehensive” and housed among various departments. “Looking at just the funding for one city department is insufficient to gain an understanding of the city’s efforts,” said Mayoral spokeswoman Deanna Gamble. Not exactly Churchillian, eh?

Look, Krasner’s flub on sanctuary cities notwithstanding, you can’t say he hasn’t put himself out there. He seems more than willing to ultimately be held to account. But is that true of the Mayor? There are those who suggest that Kenney’s taking back control of the schools from the state was really done out of fealty to the teacher’s union, and others criticize him for making the move before he had a plan for how to fund it.

But, clearly, Jim Kenney is passionate about education, and the bottom line is that he stepped up and accepted accountability on the fate of our schools. He has at least linked his fate to one policy outcome he will own.

So we know Jim Kenney can practice Kaizen—he can embrace problem-solving and accountability. He just has to first overcome his first, and worst, instinct: To deflect and defend.

Source: https://thephiladelphiacitizen.org/the-city-that-holds-no-one-accountable/

[ballbubble3-blog]

“The City That Holds No One Accountable”

Back in the ‘80s, a young workout guy out of Delaware County took Philly by storm. He had a rebellious spirit and was obsessed with pirates. He anticipated the workout craze, built a physical therapy empire, sold it for a fortune, then bought part of the Sixers, and rebuilt that moribund franchise into the hottest of tickets. Through it all, Pat Croce was a master of branding and hype. He was, seemingly, all about the show.

Prefer the audio version of this story? Listen to this article on CitizenCast below:

http://traffic.libsyn.com/citizencast/thecitythatholdsnooneaccountable.mp3

But behind all the sizzle was a philosophy that we could use more of today. Croce was a devotee of Kaizen, the Japanese business philosophy of continual improvement. It’s a system of identifying problems and testing improvements. Achieving the goals of Kaizen means changing an organization’s culture such that, every day, everyone in it consciously does something to make the team better. Scorecards are filled out and weekly reports filed by employees at every level—from the new hire to the CEO—chronicling each and every incremental improvement each day. It’s a strategy that requires peer-to-peer accountability, and, ultimately, a leader willing to be held accountable for the dynamic changes that emerge from a culture of daily, incremental ones.

A Kaizen leader would use the Amazon loss as an opportunity. To drive home a culture of continual improvement, he’d conduct an autopsy into why we didn’t win, and then unleash a strategy, with goals and timetables, in order to win the next time we take the playing field.

I’ve been thinking of Kaizen a lot lately, because it seems to me its two overarching principles—the pursuit of continual improvement and accountability—are precisely what’s missing in our city government. 

A deep dive into the fallout from our Amazon bid is instructive. Once we learned that Philly did not win the Amazon sweepstakes, the reactions fell roughly into two camps. One group argued that Philly had dodged a bullet, positing that any package of incentives was, in effect, corporate welfare and, by trying to entice the world’s richest man to choose us, we were actually worsening the gap between the haves and have-nots.

While there are legitimate concerns that would have to be managed had we gotten Amazon’s nod, (gentrification comes to mind), this critique ignores our special circumstances: We have hardly any tax base. We have 26 percent poverty, only a quarter of our residents hold bachelor degrees, and we’re behind 23 other cities in terms of economic growth. A city with that trifecta of data would be committing malpractice to not compete for 25,000 or 50,000 six-figure jobs. (Moreover, incentive packages are not corporate welfare; they’re investments. You can invest wisely or stupidly. New York’s winning bid, for instance, was smart: 85 percent of it was performance-based, contingent upon job creation and sizable investments in local communities.)

The other, less ideological, reaction is actually more troubling. From countless political and civic leaders, we saw a defensive instinct to essentially celebrate our participation trophy. “This was certainly not the news we were hoping for … but I can’t help but be proud of the bid we submitted,” Mayor Kenney said. “We are in a stronger position than ever to show businesses of all sizes that our city is an ideal place to live, work, and play.”

That’s fine, I guess, but it’s not exactly Kaizen. A Kaizen leader would use the loss—which is what it was—as an opportunity. To drive home a culture of continual improvement, he’d conduct an autopsy into why we didn’t win, and then unleash a strategy, with goals and timetables, in order to win the next time we take the playing field. The only civic leader I saw approach the news of Amazon’s selection that way was Drexel President John Fry, who, rather than merely cheerlead in an Inquirer op-ed, zeroed in on our comparative lack of workforce talent as an area where Philly came up short.

We know Jim Kenney can practice Kaizen—he can embrace problem-solving and accountability. He just has to first overcome his first, and worst, instinct: To deflect and defend.

To that critique, I would add our dysfunctional political system. Over a year ago, at the launch of Philly’s Amazon bid, a prominent elected official who had ongoing contact with Jeff Bezos at the time told me it was already a fait accompli: The political landscape in our state and city would scare Amazon away. At the time, Governor Tom Wolf and the legislature had blown numerous deadlines and couldn’t come up with a state budget, and Jim Kenney had just cemented his reputation as the nation’s premier tax and spender. “Businesses like certainty when it comes to tax policy,” he said, implying that Pennsylvania and especially Philly, with its high-tax, anti-business policies, couldn’t provide it.

Moreover, maybe labor leader John Dougherty wasn’t the best spokesperson to help make Philly’s case to Amazon. It’s shameful that, more than two years ago, the Justice Department leaked that he was under federal investigation, and there have been no updates since. At some point, it’s only fair to indict a target or not. (The same principle ought to apply to special prosecutors). But the fact is, Dougherty is still under investigation, and it wouldn’t take more than a Google search for Jeff Bezos to determine that maybe doing business with Johnny Doc might not be in his famously non-unionized company’s best interest.

As for accountability, the Kenney administration often seems unaware of that term. That’s not hyperbole; Kenney Chief of Staff Jim Engler said as much in a November 21 Inquirer story about how—eight months after Councilman Allen Domb’s cross-examining of finance officials during budget hearings—the administration has finally unearthed $21 million in accounting errors, leaving some $12 million still unaccounted for. The last line of the story was priceless: “As to the question of whether anyone will be fired over the $40 million in accounting mistakes, Engler said: ‘No, that’s not how we operate.’”

Screw “The City That Loves You Back.” You want a little truth in advertising? Maybe our new slogan should be “The City That Holds No One Accountable.” Off the top of my head, here’s a list of instances where obfuscating city officials refused to be held accountable:

Exhibit A. In any midsize private organization, bookkeepers who don’t reconcile bank accounts for years would be unceremoniously shown the door. Not so the $4.7 billion corporation known as Philadelphia. Under Finance Director Rob Dubow, accounts have  gone unreconciled for years, $33 million has been missing for months, and $924 million in accounting errors were highlighted in a Controller’s report. Makes you confident that the city is a responsible steward of your tax dollars, huh?

I asked Dubow who was accountable and he said, “I’m responsible.” Interesting word choice, isn’t it? After all, taking responsibility is not the same thing as being held accountable. The latter includes consequences for failing to meet your responsibilities.

When Jim Engler says “that’s not how we operate,” the effect is to establish the opposite of a Kaizen culture. It says to all other city employees: Play fast and loose with your fiduciary responsibility to the taxpayer and there will be no consequences.

Contrast that with how the mayor of Spokane, Washington reacted when consecutive audits of his city’s accounting practices found material weaknesses. “I wish you the very best in your future professional endeavors,” wrote Mayor David Condon to his director of accounting.

I’ve been thinking of Kaizen a lot lately, because it seems to me its two overarching principles—the pursuit of continual improvement and accountability—are precisely what’s missing in our city government.

Exhibit B. It was revealed last year that fully one-fourth of all those pre-K programs the Mayor’s much-hyped soda tax was meant to fund had missing or incomplete FBI, state police or child abuse clearances in recent years and that three providers owed back taxes to the city. Tellingly, the Mayor didn’t respond to the news by acknowledging the problem and outlining a plan to fix it.

“It’s just paperwork,” the Mayor told Channel 6’s Chad Pradelli. “The only thing you raised is paperwork.” Try telling that to a parent who is sending her kid to a Pre-K program with a teacher who hasn’t cleared a child abuse check.

Exhibit C. It’s not just Kenney who appears allergic to being held accountable. District Attorney Larry Krasner deflected blame and practiced whataboutism when it came to light that a Honduran citizen, given sanctuary in Philadelphia, had repeatedly raped a 5-year-old. “The Trump administration has made it so that immigrant children can get raped because they’re afraid to call the police,” said Krasner, ludicrously blaming Trump for the rape of a 5-year-old instead of acknowledging that releasing those who would terrorize law-abiding communities back into them does nothing to advance the cause of immigration.

Exhibit D. Our poverty rate is the worst in the nation, and we’re the only big city to see median household income drop and hunger increase of late, all of which provided the disturbing context when the Inquirer zeroed in on the city’s anti-poverty office, the Office of Community Empowerment and Opportunity. Reporters Claudia Vargas and TyLisa Johnson detailed how the office has spent $65 million with hardly any results to show for it, save Executive Director Mitch Little’s $130,000 salary, the $95,000 for his assistant and scheduler, and the $160,000 for his speechwriter and executive coach.

The Kaizen leader would react this way: “What we’ve been doing hasn’t worked,” she’d say. “It is unacceptable that we lead the nation in poverty, in deep poverty, and in children in poverty, and that we have anemic economic growth compared to other cities. That’s why I’m convening the best and the brightest thinkers from academia, the private sector, the nonprofit cohort, and government to rethink what we’re doing and how we’re doing it. It’s time for a Marshall Plan on poverty in the city where American Democracy was created.”

How did Jim Kenney react? He hid behind a spokeswoman, maintaining that the city’s anti-poverty agenda is “comprehensive” and housed among various departments. “Looking at just the funding for one city department is insufficient to gain an understanding of the city’s efforts,” said Mayoral spokeswoman Deanna Gamble. Not exactly Churchillian, eh?

Look, Krasner’s flub on sanctuary cities notwithstanding, you can’t say he hasn’t put himself out there. He seems more than willing to ultimately be held to account. But is that true of the Mayor? There are those who suggest that Kenney’s taking back control of the schools from the state was really done out of fealty to the teacher’s union, and others criticize him for making the move before he had a plan for how to fund it.

But, clearly, Jim Kenney is passionate about education, and the bottom line is that he stepped up and accepted accountability on the fate of our schools. He has at least linked his fate to one policy outcome he will own.

So we know Jim Kenney can practice Kaizen—he can embrace problem-solving and accountability. He just has to first overcome his first, and worst, instinct: To deflect and defend.

Source: https://thephiladelphiacitizen.org/the-city-that-holds-no-one-accountable/

[nicosroom]

Nico Meets Bagel

Four years ago, I never had any problems finding crushes/dates/hook ups. I mostly met people at school or work and things worked out or they didn’t. I wasn’t looking for much; I was 22 and having a good time. You can read more about that period of my life here. 

Two weeks before I went on the first date with Tony, I flirtatiously broke a man’s iPhone in a bar. Matt happened to live in Chicago, but travelled through the Cincy area frequently for his electrical engineering job with General Electric. He was in Oxford for a single night with a friend who was visiting a friend. I didn’t view him as much more than a hook-up opportunity, but still. Six weeks later, I had been “official” with Tony for two weeks, but on a trip to Chicago, Matt’s and my mutual friends were still pushing our potential. 

Even during the four years I wasn’t single, three of which were long distance, I had to navigate through the random passes at bars; had to let a guy or two down easy: “sorry we’ve been bantering flirtatiously for weeks, but I have partner in Baton Rouge”; had to turn down the “can I buy you a drink” offers with a polite, “I’m already attached” and smile. 

So four years later, and three months single, I wasn’t all that worried about “getting back in the game” (or, whatever language the late 20-somethings are using these days). But I had a whole new perspective and my old ways of gathering potential energy just weren’t going to cut it, even if my attitudes about commitment remain largely the same. (Yes, even though I was in a committed relationship for 4 years, I still largely believe my personality and my destiny are forever alone.) Here’s what I mean: 

1. I’m not the wild, whiskey queen that I used to be. The last time I was single, I had just graduated from college. That place where I spent four years flirting with everybody, usually in alcohol soaked settings, and never committing to anything except my English major. In the meantime, I committed wholeheartedly to a man and a Ph.D. and lived in the same college town for five years, and with each passing year the time and money dedicated to running up tabs in the bars has seriously dwindled. Not that meeting a man in a bar is even a good strategy, but this is Oxford so you take what you can get. 

2. At some point in my studies, I specialized in “yellow fever.” That is, White men’s fetish for sexual relationship with Asian women. During that couple semesters I spent a lot of time reflecting on the fact that I have only ever dated/hooked up with White men. A simple explanation is that I’ve always lived/worked/gone to school in Ohio; there’s no avoiding White men and they’re not even all that bad. Unless you’re like me and sprinkle critique of intersectional and structural oppression into everyday conversations. I’m not saying Tony was a “yellow fever guy,” only that I began to notice the subtle disparities between our understandings of our racialized experiences of the world. Tony’s least favorite thing was to be reminded of his White/male/heterosexual/middle-upper class privilege. He seemed fond of reminding me he is a feminist and that his Ancestry DNA report identifies him as “2% West Asian.” He didn’t really understand the disconnect between his delusional romantic tactic “I love your Filipina heritage” and my repeated refusals to use Ancestry DNA: “I don’t need a DNA test to know I’m 100% colonized.” I didn’t even realize how exhausted this made me until a few weeks after our breakup. 

3. This one is related to the first: I’m about to enter a phase of my life when I don’t have to go to work/school everyday. By which I mean be in the physical workplace or at school. One of the great privileges of pursuing a Ph.D. is that the further you are through the program, the more flexibility you have with your time. While you get these mind-boggling and unhealthy perceptions that you must be working productively all the time, you also get to decide precisely what that schedule will look like and, at least in the humanities, you can do it pretty much anywhere. In 2016-17, I’ve spent so much time working from home, and increasingly, learning strategies to maximize productivity (by which I mean, not doing the laundry when I should be working). For the 2017-18 school year, I actually have a dissertation fellowship. I won’t have any on campus teaching responsibilities, and I’ll be able to dedicate all of my work time to producing my dissertation. As such, I’ll actually be relocating to Cincinnati, where I’ll probably spend 75% of my day time hours in my home office reading/writing/crying about my dissertation. This eliminates my basic structure of interacting with eligible bachelors -- going to work or school everyday. Living alone in a city where my major friend group is not (most of them will still be in Oxford) means I’ll have to push my comfort zone on being social (i.e. go to MeetUps, accept C.J.’s invites to Urban League events, join a gym), which is certainly a tactic for meeting men, but that could be slow going. 

4. It has recently dawned on me that meeting people at work or at school is a pretty limited way to do things, since I mainly encounter the same “types” from year-to-year. It’s cool that we’ve always got a lot in common, but what about that “opposites attract” thing I’ve heard so much about? I had a student in the fall who did a research project on dating apps and stigma of meeting partners online. He made a very compelling argument about why this is the new normal and I felt like such a dullard because I had never once even used a dating app - not because of any biases about them, just because back then I was single and 22 and what I had going for me seemed to be working. Now, a dating app or two just seems like a practical resource. 

So anyway, I made a plan to embark on my new adventure with dating apps on Valentine’s Day. I made a fancy dinner and a big deal of it. I convinced a friend of mine to join the app too. Setting up our profiles on Coffee Meets Bagel and scrolling through the initial profiles it gave us, we laughed so hard we cried. To address my 2nd concern, I eliminated White folks from my race/ethnicity preferences, which was a laughing matter all on its own. I liked this app already. This wasn’t hard at all --or, so I thought. 

By the end of the week, I rushed into my first date. It was so clear to me that there would never be any personality alignment here and I turned him down when he asked for a second date. But, the experience was like one of those “questions to know yourself better” on the Happier podcast. His personality was “I just moved to Dayton from Seattle and this town is boring as hell.” My personality is “I’ve lived in small towns for about a decade and I always find something to do.” In other words, even though my day-to-day routines are quite boring (I read books, I write papers, I attend lectures, I give lectures, I grade papers), I have this creative edge and I make everything I do, see, think feel exciting. And when I talk about all this with someone who has no idea, they hear and see my excitement, whether or not they find these things exciting. My date, on the other hand, he waits for exciting things to happen. No go. This date also served a “break the ice” purpose for me. It was quite actually the first date I had ever been on with a total stranger. The concept of doing this seems so impossible when you’re contemplating it at age 27. It’s not at all like chance meeting a stranger in a bar and striking up a conversation or being “set up” with your best friends cousin that you’re meeting for the first time at a party, even though you didn’t plan for that. So, I just had to do it and come out on the other side knowing I could do that.

We’re now a month into this. I’ve had another first date. I think this one went really well, and I’m hoping for a second. I won’t say too much about this one, it’s early and it seems unfair to speculate on this very public forum. I will say this: I still feel really “new” at this, dating strangers business. I’m constantly nervous that there is some standard operating procedure and that I’m probably violating it. At the same time, I feel like I really have nothing to lose: I’m doing a lot of things that I might not have done had we met in person through weightier circumstances

I’m not only learning to be open-minded (you can’t say no just because a guy mentions driving his car in his “likes” or has a cat {because I’m allergic, not because I think a man owning a cat means anything})

But also to be open: When I don’t have to be calculated, toe-ing some line between being on a date with some guy and seeing him at work on Monday, I lose nothing (except maybe a Friday night date) by being candid. 

I’m learning patience. I went from flaky and uncommitted to anything to committed to one person for four years. Although it took several weeks of flirtations before anything became “official,” it felt like a whirlwind. After all, we did see each other at work nearly every day as we were getting started. Now, I’m learning that I have to not read into the time lapse between messages and that a date once a week isn’t a thing I should expect. 

I’m getting reacquainted with my flaky and uncommitted self, but a more mature version of her. I can juggle as many chats as I like and have many first dates, even many second dates. I don’t have to do this one “bagel” at a time and there are plenty of “bagels” to be had out there. 

Ultimately, I’m learning this isn’t just an exercise in looking for romance, but an exercise about expanding my experience with the world and my understandings of myself. 

[gbusby]

It took a Dark Room to Get Me Here

So, this blog in its rambling disjointed fashion is a way for me to share my thoughts and images. 

Here’s a kind of potted history of how I came to be shooting Fuji cameras and rummaging about in darkrooms.

Between 2010 and 2012 I was lucky enough to spend a day week at a quirky adult education establishment down in Somerset. I was doing a DCPA (Distinctions Course in Professional and Applied Photography). Essentially a degree course in photography. The thing I really loved about this course, is that we were doing primarily traditional analog photography and spending a lot of time in the darkroom learning and honing the art of printing archival quality prints on fibre based paper. My Mondays for those 2 years were spent in the darkroom with my peers. At 45 years old I one of the youngest in the class. Of the 10 -15 students, most of them were in their 50’s or 60’s and even though several of them had finished their degrees and had either Licentiateships or Associateships from the Royal Photographic Society, would still turn up to print and be tutored. Our tutor was Ron Frampton a charismatic 70 something year old with a total passion and dedication for the art of photography. I’m not sure he’d even used a digital camera, for him it was all about film and the process of producing a quality black and white print that would stand the test of time. 

I learnt more about photography in those days in the darkroom than I’d learnt before or since. During our lunch-break we’d each take a turn in laying out the images that would be used for our portfolio exam pieces. The critique was, frankly, brutal. Constructive and well made, but never-the-less brutal. I’d layout a dozen images at the start of a term for my panel and they’d be given the thumbs up or thumbs down by my peers. In turn I’d get to critique their work. As an image was removed from my panel, I’d learn a little more and then spend the next week shooting several rolls of film to replace it. Inevitably over the course of the term, my entire panel would be replaced. The theme would be the same as I’d started the term with, but the images would be replaced. Then near the end of term, even my newer images would be removed as the quality of the entire panel had been lifted, anda once loved shot would be relegated. 

My photography, the way I saw and read other peoples images and my darkroom skills were all being improved, it was a great way to learn and I got to see prints from others that would literally make me weep they were so good. 

The darkroom was basically a long thin room, with workbenches down each side. On the benches were 10 enlargers 1 for each of the students printing that day. At the end of the room was a set of printing trays and a sink, We’d all select the negative we’d be printing from that day and once the lights went out we’d do our first test print. This would usually just be a section of the entire print on a small strip of fibre paper. Once we’d exposed the paper we’d drop the print into a developing tray and start the timer. once it’d had it’s 2 minutes or whatever we’d shout out and whomever was on the developing tray would drop the print into the stop bath. A minute later we’d shout out and whoever was on the stop tray would move it to the fixing tray. eventually the prints from each of the students would be in a tray in the sink with a flow of water. 

At this point, our tutor Ron, would take a print out of the water, place it on smooth vertical white board, where the action of the water would allow it to stick. He’d muse over it and ask the students what they thought then come up with timings for the next iteration of the print. We’d then turn out the lights set our timers and print on a full sheet of 19’ x 12’ Ilford warm tone fibre paper. At the time I was in college it was £50.00 for 25 sheets, This was not a cheap day out. We’d all expose our paper, develop, stop, fix. Then one by the prints would go up on the wall. Someone would say “yes I like that but the tree on the left hand side is a little bright” so then you’d make a note and for the next iteration you’d dodge that area out. On a good day in that darkroom you’d print your image maybe 7 times. Each iteration of the print taking you that little bit closer to a “finished” print. Usually the last two prints of the day would be considered as “finished” prints. It’s interesting to look back on those first five or six “working prints” to see what it took to to get to the final version. Some of the alterations would be subtle but the affect of those on the final image really did make a big difference. 

One of my darkroom buddies, a guy I’ll call Hendon, had completed his Licentiateship the year before I had started and was working on his Associateship. He was shooting almost exclusively on film and introduced me to the Acros film stock. Although he would occasionally borrow my Canon 7d but always preferred to shoot on film and always reallyrocked it in the darkroom. His images were always a little moody and tended to be dark and edgy. 

We chatted a lot about cameras and how the functionality of most cameras got in the way of actually shooting.  Although I loved my Canon EOS 7D, there was something about the analogue cameras I shot that always seemed to make using them more pleasurable. Then in February of 2011 as we entered what would be our penultimate term, Fujifilm announced the Fuji X100. Hendon read the reviews of the X100 and then went to test-drive one. He immediately fell in love with that camera and pretty much spent his last penny to buy it. Most of his fellow students on the course thought he was crazy. Here they were, mainly shooting Mamiya 645’s or Roleliflex TLR’s serious, medium format cameras. The only person in the class who was really shooting digital regularly was me, when Hendon walked in carrying this little Fuji X100 and people realised you could not load a roll of film into it there were some raised eyebrows and sharp intakes of breath. Hendon was not to be daunted. That camera never left his side. He was already a passionate photographer, but having that camera seemed to change him. Although he loved the darkroom, and the process of creating a print, the Fuji freed him in more ways than one. Having the Fuji X100 changed Hendon’s life. He had a camera that looked and felt like a good rangefinder film camera. It was small, easy to use, and despite some of the issues of the early firmware it produced great results. Over the last five years, Hendon, has put everything he has into his photography, the one thing that has always been there are his Fuji cameras. He still has that X100, even though he now owns a couple of XT-1’s and a few lenses. He now gets regular work as a photographer and it keeps a roof over his head. He’s always been a photographer and he’d be able to work with any camera. Those Fuji’s have empowered him to move forward without getting in the way of his vision. 

Seeing the output of Hendon’s work from the Fuji system was one of the main reasons that in 2013 I put down my Canon cameras and bought a Fuji X-Pro1. Having it, and now the X-Pro2 has not made me a better photographer but it has made me shoot more. The images I produce with the Fuji seem to have a little more soul and produce prints reminiscent of my time in the darkroom . I find the Fuji cameras easier to use, innovative, smaller and lighter, therefore find myself carrying it all the time. Meaning I never miss an opportunity to shoot. There is no perfect camera but the guys at Fuji do at least seem to listen to us photographers and have given us amazing tools to work with. 

[topicprinter]

Hey - Pat from StarterStory.com here with another interview.Today's interview is with Brandon Wong of Photobooth Supply Co., a brand that makes and sells photo booths.Ever been to a wedding or event that has a fun photo booth? Well, these guys design a very fancy version of those photobooths.It's also an interesting business model - not only did they design these photobooths on their own, but they sell them to other entrepreneurs - those that want to make some decent money.Some stats:Product: PhotoboothRevenue/mo: $300,000Started: March 2013Location: Orange County, CaliforniaFounders: 2Employees: 10Hello! Who are you and what are you working on?Hello! I’m Brandon Wong, the CEO and part of the husband and wife team that started Photobooth Supply Co.Trying to start a business? It can be complicated, expensive, and time consuming. We provide a meaningful business opportunity through a photobooth that allows you to capture memories while making some serious profit!In this experience economy, the event industry is exploding and nothing is coming up faster than photo booths. In fact, from 2005 to 2012 more people searched online for photo booth rentals than for wedding DJs. It’s not uncommon to see seven figure photo booth rental companies, and six figure ones are a dime a dozen. We specialize in making that happen for you.If you’re only familiar with the old boxes with black and white prints, you’d probably be surprised to see our flagship photobooth, Queso. It looks more like an Apple product than something you’d see in a train station or mall.And we take not only beautiful photos, but videos, boomerangs, GIFs, and more… all shareable instantly on social media via it’s secondary share screen.I think the most important thing about what we do is the fact that we’ve transformed over 1,000 people’s lives. It’s not about the money for me, it’s about the fact that the company I started with my wife has given so many fantastic opportunities for people to achieve their full potential, while having a lot of fun while at it.What's your backstory and how did you come up with the idea?My wife and I were wedding photographers. If you’ve been to a wedding lately, you’ve probably seen a photobooth.The same was true 8 years ago. We saw booths everywhere, and started thinking… why not add one of those? We purchased the “old” style photobooth, the enclosed box. It became clear very quickly that at least two things could be done better. It wasn’t really portable and it didn’t take the prettiest pictures.I contacted a few metal suppliers down here in Orange County and asked if they could put something together for me. I wanted something sleek and portable, but it also had to be able to take gorgeous pictures.My wife and I spent weeks trying to get the photos just perfect and we built a few very interesting looking prototypes. Right away, our friends came asking if we could put something together for them as well.So, we took everything out of our savings account and got a tiny space at the largest wedding photography expo… which was happening in three weeks at the time.In that time, we created a website, branding, literature, promotional videos, a trade show booth, a prototype unit, sales pitch, pricing, everything. At the show, we sold over 10 booths and doubled that number the week afterwards. A month later, we hand delivered one of the booths to a customer in Vegas and I used that money to buy an engagement ring. We were married six months afterwards.My wife and IFrom that trade show, we just kept spending time to create more resources and more value to help our customers make more money. We started including marketing materials, sample contracts, attendant training videos, educational webinars, and more. Things like that really set the entire product apart, but everybody came to it for the picture quality and portability.Within a short matter of time, we evolved from selling photo booths to selling a turnkey business opportunity, all without any franchise fees or the need for a large initial capital investment.Describe the process of designing, prototyping, and manufacturing the product.I’d argue that no one would buy anything unless it solves a problem. So our job as entrepreneurs is to identify which one we wish to tackle, survey, and then execute.As you can imagine, the process gets much easier when you are encountering the problem yourself. Our photography business was not scalable and unfortunately hit a revenue cap that was hard to break through. Creating additional services was the only way to move past this. Of course, this is where the photobooth came in.LPT (Life Pro Tip): Read UX Strategy: How to Devise Innovative Digital Products that People Want by Jaime Levy.DesignI’m hugely inspired by legendary product designer Dieter Rams. One of his principles that I live by is “Good design is as little design as possible.”Using that strategy, we started with the electronics of the booth that were mandatory (Computer, touch screen, camera, flash, printer, etc.) and devised a product that was the expression of those core components in the most elegant manner possible. Nothing more, nothing less.Moreover, I would draw inspiration from products that have similar functions to yours. I browsed kiosk designs, floor lamps, cameras, robots in sci-fi movies, and more!PrototypeWe did a quick Google search for a local fabricator to create our first alpha unit. Because our initial unit did not need any tooling, we had very low initial costs.An early prototypeKatrina is very glad that we didn’t release this.Within the three weeks leading up to our first trade show, we were able to execute a few rapid prototypes. We started as simple as possible and made things better from there. These quick iterations got us to market quicker and allowed us to do multiple rounds of UX testing which ultimately resulted in a better product.LPT: I’d recommend downloading Sketchup for a hardware product or Sketch for a software product. Use those tools that to make your first round of iterations. It doesn't have to be pretty, but it can communicate more effectively than a napkin sketch or even verbally.Moreover, it may help you discover new opportunities in your design. Doing this before making a prototype and hiring an engineer can save you thousands during the initial phases when you are strapped for cash.ManufactureWe really lucked out because that same fabricator was looking to grow from making one-off parts to a being a large manufacturer. It was a third generation family of welders who gave us the undivided attention we needed despite being a start up and having a low order quantity.In hindsight, we were lucky to start with a US based manufacturer. This removed the issues of language, distance, shipping, tariffs, and customs that come with using an overseas vendor.LPT: Use Maker’s Row, an Alibaba for US based suppliers to aid your search.Describe the process of launching the business.We first started off using Squarespace, which is by far the easiest, cheapest, and most elegant beginner web design solution I’ve ever encountered.Two years of using this service gave us the experiences to know which platform served our needs best. After much evaluation, we switched to Shopify for the powerful integrations and backend experience.I’d highly recommend a couple things:Website AuditHire someone off Fiverr to audit your website. For a few bucks someone will record their experience on your online store and critique it. This is valuable information.Moreover, you can test it with friend and family to see how they’re interacting with it. You want to see if they are clicking the right places and landing where you want them to go.Third Party LogisticsFocus on what you are good at. I doubt your company was built to do logistics well, so find a third party logistics company to pack, store, and ship for you. Amazon does this beautifully as well, but our product was not made for that type of infrastructure.Since launch, what has worked to attract and retain customers?We were lucky enough to have two major sales channels. We attend trade shows and gain customers that way, and we have a strong SEO presence. Let’s talk trade shows first, since they are a pretty big unknown for a lot of businesses.Trade showsA trade show is like having access to hundreds or thousands of hot leads, all at once, and while every competitor is right next to you. It’s brutal, and it’s exhausting, and it’s amazing.You truly have to stand out as a product, and as an experience, and as a company. We might spend $10,000 on a space and another $10,000 on staff, setup materials, and experience. Then we still have to have a show special and use that to drive sales. The margins get a lot tighter, but if you’re picking good shows, the kind your current customers go to, you’re going to do well.That’s the best advice I can give for picking shows—just ask your customers where they’re going to be, and go there. Partially to sell, and partially to meet your people in person. You can never spend enough time getting to know your customers. There is no more valuable time you can spend on your business than learning how to truly help people with what you do.We love attending photography focused trade shows. I think photographers are probably some of the most creative entrepreneurs out there. There is the business side, which takes a remarkable amount of creative skill, and there’s the actual photography.When you get a chance to talk to them, they realize very quickly that they’re entrepreneurs at heart and we’re a great solution!The best advice I can give anyone looking to stand out at a trade show is to make a booth that you’d want to go into. I know it’s pretty common and boring advice, but let think about it--what kind of trade show booth would you want to go into? And if the answer is, “I wouldn’t go to a trade show” then you should hire a marketing director to handle this part.Trade shows don’t have to be your thing to be profitable. Your company should mirror your spirit and interests, but sometimes we all have to do the things that are necessary for success.Moreover, there is a wonderful opportunity to iterate on your sales pitch. You are sometimes talking to dozens of people in person every day. By seeing their body language and how they interact with your product, you can immediately tell what aspects of your pitch are effective. By the end of it, you should have some solid strategies for your sales reps, ads, and website.SEOSEO is a pretty difficult world to understand. I suggest finding the best talent you can and letting them do what they’re best at.Sometimes that means bringing the service in house, sometimes it involves an outside agency. For us, the ROI on our spend here is huge. It goes back to what I said about picking the trade show your customers attend. Pick the channel your customers use.Don’t worry about what you like, where you think you’ll find them, or anything like that. We started hearing from our customers that they found us by searching and so we had to honor that. It has worked very well. The kind of entrepreneur who does research and compares their options tends to land with us. That’s great. Our SEO has changed alongside Google, of course.When we got started, a lot of people found us through our photography company. They eventually started landing on us for searches about which photobooths had the best picture quality. It’s a natural transition for sure. Trust is big with Google, and people immediately trusted a photographer to have made a great photobooth. It makes sense.How are you doing today and what does the future look like?We are doing fantastic! The launch of Queso, our flagship photo booth, really brought photobooths a huge step forward.I love to share that over 80% of Queso’s early adopters already owned our previous photobooth. Those are loyalty numbers comparable with Apple! Apple was at 86% on phones last year, and for car companies, Subaru was best at 67%. I could go on about stats forever.We have a 97% customer satisfaction rate on the post support surveys we send out. Globally that number is 86%. That all comes from us putting a focus on customer experience.Speaking of that customer experience, I think that a lot of questions tend to come up around the profit margins on something like a photobooth. How much of that $1,100 booking fee ends up in the pocket of our owners? We’d look at a booking fee like that and break it down like this in a very general sense:$1,100 - FeeIndividual Costs$100 - Attendant wages$15 - Paper for the printer$15 - Gas and transportation$10 - Misc (Business cards, equipment wear and tear, lost props)Amortized Costs$25 - Software$20 - Website Hosting$10 - Yearly Business Registration Costs$905 - ProfitMost people look at a breakdown like that and ask where to sign up. It’s not always that easy, or that clean cut. You do have to pay taxes. But there’s no reason to see this as a side hustle rather than a profession, if you put in the work. Four events a month is just somewhere to start. We have tons of owners with 6 or 8 booths. They’re working 300+ days a year.My biggest fear was that photo booths were a trend, but that’s just simply not the case. Our company has been growing every year since our inception and 2018 is looking to be the best year yet. We see this growth not only in private events, but also in retail locations, restaurants, nightclubs, and any other location where there’s a gathering of people.The future is exciting. We haven’t been resting at all, we have already gone into beta on an upcoming product for a completely different market segment. I can’t say too much about it, but it’s going to have a massive impact on the industry as a whole. I’m so excited that it’s going to be on the market soon, and it’s somewhere we’ll really be able to expand the horizons of Photobooth Supply Co.Through starting the business, have you learned anything particularly helpful or advantageous?Action over InactionI’m a big fan of saying yes and figuring out how to do it later. I understand that this method is highly controversial, but it forces you to figure out a way to accomplish goals under unreasonable circumstances.Stop being in your head and start taking action. The more you let things stop you, the more things can stop you. Sometimes it’s okay to be unreasonable!Develop a RoutineMore than likely you will be working from home. You can gain a lot of productivity from building out a routine for yourself.I find that waking up the same time, showering, getting dressed, and drinking that coffee at the same times every morning will allow you to stay focused throughout the day.It’s also a really good idea to segment your web browsers. You can use Chrome for business logins and Firefox for personal ones. It saves you a ton of time and helps keep you from browsing Reddit instead of working!Self AwarenessIt’s difficult to grow your company without discovering what it’s lacking. To do that, you will need to understand your strengths and weaknesses.If you’re like me, you’ve probably never taken the time to sit down and think about that. Luckily, there are wonderful tools out there like StrengthsFinder, Myers-Briggs, and the DISC assessment that access that for you.Once you discover your double edged sword, you’ll know what to delegate and whom to hire. My double edged sword was impatience and optimism, so I surrounded myself with meticulous pessimists. They consistently bring value to our meetings and overall strategy.In the beginning stages this might mean figuring out what tasks to farm out to services like Fiverr or a Virtual Assistant. A fantastic book to read is of course, The 4 Hour Workweek.What tools do you use for your business?I don’t think we use anything unique on the grand scale. We host our online store on Shopify, we do customer support through Zendesk, have HubSpot as a CRM…I’d really like to make a suggestion here. Go with the best tools. It’s never worth holding your entire business back to save 10 or 20 bucks a month on an inferior platform. When the numbers get really big, like they do with HubSpot, you can definitely assess that platform constantly.For us, every time we do a review, we fall back in love with most of our tools. Anything that we aren’t using, we cut. We broke up with Later as soon as Instagram included scheduling tools. We just recently stopped using our VOIP platform because HubSpot offered recorded calls, and they were clearer. It would have cost more, but we negotiated on price until it cost less. Win-win!We now have over 15 team members who mostly work remote. Luckily, we use tools like Slack, Flow, Google Hangouts, and Google Drive to ensure that communication and tasks are transparent throughout the company despite not being physically next to each other.To increase the amount of interactivity, we deemed it mandatory to have all meetings done over Hangouts. This aids the loneliness that can come from working remote and increases communication through the use of body language.Don’t be afraid to negotiate the price of many of the services you use. It’s one of the best tips I can give you. Paying up front for a full year? Sometimes that’s worth 20% or more off the total price, as long as you talk to an agent about it.Need only a single feature from a higher tier of a SaaS service? Ask for it to be included with your current tier. If you don’t have these conversations, you’re going to overpay.What have been the most influential books, podcasts, or other resources?I always recommend a trifecta of books to entrepreneurs:How to Win Friends and Influence PeopleZero To One - To help you think bigger. This book can single handedly increase the size of your business tenfold just by making you think from a different perspective.Building Your Storybrand - Hands down the best book on marketing I’ve ever read.Advice for other entrepreneurs who want to get started or are just starting out?There are two schools of thought here. I could tell you how to avoid all the mistakes that I made, or I could tell you to make mistakes. I personally believe in the latter. If you go out and try to truly achieve great things, you’ll survive a few hiccups along the way.Our first trade show went smoothly, but there were so many things going on behind the scenes that went wrong. Any product launch is really just the sum of all the overcome failures.At the same time, you’ve probably heard that advice before. Let me talk a little bit about building a team, since it’s a difficult and complex topic. Here are a few suggestions.Hire people who can disagree with you. If everyone you hire thinks exactly the same way, you’re never going to get the feedback you need to confirm or reject an idea.In hindsight, Katrina’s analytical and pessimistic outlook on life perfectly balanced my impatience and optimism. If it wasn’t for these clashing perspectives our business would have been bound for failure. Always hire someone who can challenge you and isn’t afraid to do it. We were very fortunate that we had this naturally from our relationship.Hire people that you think are 11/10. Don’t tolerate anything less than being blown away every day. Let other companies hire people who phone it in. You deserve the best employees, and you should pay and compensate them fairly for turning in work of the highest caliber.Hire slow, fire fast. Don’t be afraid to move on from someone who shouldn’t be there any more. We give everyone chances to improve and learn. If they aren’t invested in turning things around, they aren’t invested in the company. I can’t have that.Build a culture deck and a set of core values. We use our culture deck as part of an interview, letting people suggest a new slide they’d like to add. It helps us to know whether someone would truly be a good culture fit.Are you looking to hire for certain positions right now?We are always on the hunt for incredible talent. While half of our team is based in Southern California, we are always open to bringing in remote team members!Creative DirectorVP of SalesInside Sales RepresentativeOutside Sales RepresentativeSuccess ChampionWhere can we go to learn more?Instagram: @photoboothsupplycoTwitter: @pbsupplycoLiked this interview? Check out more founders that shared their story on StarterStory.com.

[canaryatlaw]

alright, let’s get this post on the road. good day. I woke up sometime around 9:30 and couldn’t fall back to sleep so I got up and made pancakes, blueberry pancakes, with blackberry and raspberry syrup because we have a frozen bag of a triple berry blend and if I was using the blueberries for the pancakes I needed something to do with the raspberries and blackberries, lol. but of course pancakes are annoying because the pan doesn’t heat enough and then gets too hot and won’t cook the pancake all the way through so I just end up microwaving them to make sure they’re cooked all the way through....but anyway, I made them and they tasted very good, so that’s what’s important. I hung out for a bit longer and didn’t do much until around 1 when I went upstairs and started getting ready, did my make up and all. We left around 1:45, and had to drop my sister off at her friends house first which ended up being a bit of a debacle because all of a sudden her friend might not be home by the time we get there and I was gonna be late to my appointment.....but we did make it, and then we made it to the doctors. did the normal breathing tests thing that I’ve done at least 100 times by now, then talked to the doctor which is always good, the only real news was the chest pain issue, which I’m following up with a GI doctor for next week, but he wanted me to get some bloodwork done so I’ll get that taken care of while I’m here. From there the plan was for my mom to drive me to the train station, approximately two miles from the doctors office, so I could then take the train into the city, she can drive the car back home, and I could take the normal train home and my friend would drop me off like he always does (this particular doctor is a lot closer to NYC than where I actually live, so it made sense to just go from there). There was some issues finding the station and actually getting to the drop off point, but we got it done and I was at penn station like 30 minutes later which was pretty sweet. I met my friend at Juniors, he had a voice lesson earlier so he was already in the city (he’s a big deal like that). For food I decided to go with what is literally titled “something different” in the menu, which was brisket between two potato pancakes and served with au jus and applesauce, and I mostly ate the brisket and potato pancake separately, but they were both very good and I thoroughly enjoyed them. We had some time so we got dessert, I ended up ordering a strawberry sundae which was somewhat bigger than I imagined lol but it was good. We walked a few blocks over to the theatre (circle in the square) and get on a long line to get into the actual theatre (which is what happens when you only have one person scanning tickets). The show, of course, was Once on This Island, which is one of the rare occurrences where I’m going into a show I know virtually nothing about, so that’s always fun. but everyone has been raving about this show so it was definitely the one to see. my friend was saying he had just read a disappointing critique of it from the actor who’s currently playing Aaron Burr in the broadway production of Hamilton from a racial standpoint, and how he didn’t think it portrayed the right message (which we’ll get into later, he does have somewhat of a fair point) but that was pretty much it. the theatre looked awesome, it was in the round of course and they had all the actors milling around the stage pre-show and doing work-like tasks and interacting with each other, which was cool. I realized one of the actresses in it was actually a character on a show I was following for a while, The Night Shift, and I actually quite liked her. so, (spoilers, obviously) predictably, it’s set on an island, and they basically set up the premise of the rich white people and the POC peasants, who are the ones telling us the story, or really they’re telling the story to this little girl, who I had to point out was totally wearing a lands end school uniform, I know because I wore that stupid thing for 6 years, about how a girl basically was found in a storm and they raised her, and when she’s a young woman she finds this rich white boy who just crashed his car during a storm, and she convinces them to bring him to their village and she takes care of him,  while her adoptive father tries to talk to the rich white people to find his family, which he eventually does, and they take him back to their rich fancy place. Surrounding all of this and narrating it are the presence of the four gods, which I will not attempt to describe all that thoroughly because I will not do an adequate job, but there was basically the goddess of love, played by the ever lovely Lea Salonga, the mother of the earth, the god of water, and then the “demon of death” which was the actress I knew from the tv show, and she basically shows up while the girl is caring for the boy and tries to take him (because death) but the girl is like “no take my life instead” and then that’s kind of left to hang over everyones heads. so main character girl is very much distraught when boy she was tending over is taken away, and resolves to go to the rich part of the island and find him, which she manages to do, and he doesn’t remember her at first but then she tells him about how she nursed him back to health and she ends up being able to help heal the remainder of his injuries which had not been healing while since he had left her, and they’re all in love and it’s all nice, but then there’s the fancy people and she tries to go to a ball or something with the fancy people and is asked to dance and it doesn’t go well at first because she can’t dance in her stupid too tight rich people shoes, but then she takes them off and there’s this super epic dance number, but then it’s followed by the revelation that rich boy has betrothed to another woman since they were little and he plans on marrying her, not main character girl, who is of course devastated, and demon of death shows up and is like “well hey you can get out of this deal if you kill him” which she doesn't but they find her with the knife and it looks bad so she ends up being thrown out of their rich palace and then waits for him at the gates for days until he gets married to other chick. so basically then the gods take care of her very gently and she gets transformed into this tree that ends up splitting open the gates of rich palace place so they can never be closed again, and it provided shade for many years for her people and the son of a rich man once found a peasant girl under it, and so on and so forth, the idea being that the power of love could bring together the people of the island. then at the end the little girl who’s been listening this whole time starts retelling the story and it’s all very good and it ends. the production was super well done. The guy from Hamilton’s objection was basically why are having a show where we’re telling little brown girls about this story of a brown girl who runs after a white boy and ultimately loses everything for him in a way that might make them want to do the same, which is a fairly decent point, but I thought the end theme of love and bringing them together was powerful enough to convey the point. but, anyway. we left the theatre and walked back to penn, just in time for the 9:13 train, and not too long later we got to our stop, my friend drove me home and here I am. I had some oatmeal and spoke to my dad about stuff for a little while, which is why I was up somewhat later, but it’s all good. Tomorrow I have to go to the DMV to try to get my “enhanced” drivers license (whatever the hell that means) in order for it to be sufficient identification when I’m flying to different states, so that should be miserable like the DMV always is, and then we’re getting hit with snow like crazy for the rest of the week so not really looking forward to that, but I guess we’ll see. That’s it for now. Goodnight folks. Have a good one.

[soydebarriocom]

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What Everybody Dislikes About Edit Paper And Why HomeWorkForSchool.com

What Everybody Dislikes About Edit Paper And Why HomeWorkForSchool.com

Up coming you require to evaluate the financing rates to an outside source. When creating an academic essay, you must use formal language. Now you need to study that model a little far more.

cpn Homework Help

Stay At House Moms – A Work Application

You may have observed the name Briana Blair or Blue Dragon Creations although browsing close to the web. This write-up will inform you a bit about the two myself and my organization.Homework for Seller- Give the sellers a checklist of things to have ready for you at the appointment, such as keys, utility bills and information on their loan. This will allow you know when you arrive that they are ready to checklist with you!

If the seller has presently determined to list with you then it isn’t necessary to deliver a extended presentation and attempt to sell your self.Choosing a net internet hosting organization is a single of the most essential issues you can do. You’ll want to decide on 1 that supports WordPress installs, gives email support, and other sources. Do your homework on the internet reading critiques and evaluating expenses. Decide on a firm with a very good popularity. Bear in mind the previous adage – you get what you pay for algebra 2 homework, so don’t automatically go with the cheapest alternative.First, when creating your profile, share a number of items about who you are.

But don’t oversell your self. She’ll probably be reading your profile after you’ve emailed her for the time. You’ve already sparked her curiosity. Your profile’s work is to hold her interested.

Post a couple of photographs homework online that show that you are enjoyable to be close to. And be positive to consist of some shots of you having entertaining with your close friends.First, you have to know that obtaining a little one will be the most difficult work you will ever have in your life and the most essential. It doesn’t matter if it is your initial or fifth, and no matter whether they are biological or adopted.

So make sure you are up for the task.Study. If you have paid consideration in class and have study the book, you know the materials, and what to go in excess of, sentence corrector in order to do well. Don’t be lazy, and go in excess of it, particularly prior to quizzes and tests. Hold the material fresh in your head, since some professors also like to give pop quizzes.

Yes, even in school!The Recruiter homework service online operates for the Candidate – real. But the Restaurant’s Employing Manager pays the bill. Knowing this symbiotic relationship can homework help algebra expedite the hiring process. There are some approaches to make certain that you land the proper job.Questions to Inquire Other Agents – Provide a list of concerns to request other agents, which place your strengths and marketing techniques favorably. Make confident you know the solutions to these inquiries so you know what you’re speaking about.You can locate vacuum cleaners listed in the yellow pages below the vacuum cleaner repair stores, classified ads in your local newspaper, on Craigslist on the web, eBay and other on the web auction web sites and the manufacturer and dealer sites on the Net.

The highest priced upright designs might carry every single offered function; they could be real HEPA vacuums. Constantly verify and see how prolonged the warranty is excellent for; the longer math homework help the greater of course.Carving out time to be with children one particular-on-a single helps them to express the distinct characteristics that make them who they are. You get to know more about your child since you are not distracted or divided.

You can chill out and enjoy the peace of focusing on one of them at a time.

Your profile’s job is to hold her interested. These days, possible vehicle consumers in India as well are switching to on the web loans. You define your own level of accomplishment.So, you’ve identified that sweet vintage auto that you’ve been dreaming about for years.

She’s a real beaut, but nevertheless demands a minor function and you are going to require to source out some old automobile parts. The query you have now is how do I find the outdated car elements I am going to require. Should I buy new or employed? Only soon after reviewing all of your options can you make an educated, solid selection concerning the previous automobile parts that you put in your undertaking classic vehicle.

The net has turn into a really powerful instrument for obtaining your restoration parts. Just try out to Google “old vehicle parts” or even the actual sort of part you want, and you will usually uncover pages of suppliers, and adverts for individuals offering there employed parts.

It’s the men and women behind the tech, and the reasons why a device like this is required: for homework help math kids. The “One Laptop Per Youngster” drive is a wonderful ambition, but even individuals units are probably going to pop in at the $100 mark. Acquiring a cheap tablet Pc into the hands of kids all over the place, even if they have to swap an SD card or Flash Drive to change lessons is a fantastic notion.

Not only will schools all over the place in India and beyond save thousands upon thousands of bucks on textbooks, but also homework services on the internet and other in depth assignments have massive prospective. Not just for value financial savings, but for education. In impact, by generating college less difficult to speak to and use, education becomes far more efficient.

This could reshape the way education is viewed across the globe.Pay attention: You have numerous decisions to make, platinum, gold, white gold? Present day or standard? Which lower? Flashy or understated?

Do your homework (online research) prior to you go out there blindly. Your homework isn’t just on-line study–it’s also taking a search at your sweetheart’s current jewelry. Does she dress in mainly silver or gold? Is it bold and flashy or traditional and classy?As a university student, I don’t forget obviously my resentment towards my teachers. I believed that they all had a secret meeting to choose which date they will all set their deadlines at; that way, all tasks and papers had been due on the actual same day.

In some circumstances, college students can’t seem to locate adequate time to do all their homework online support on-line, which is why some of them resort to internet sites that give them the freedom to get essay.Last in the foods category, is choosing snacks if you’re going help with mathematics homework to be at college all day. It’s easy to grab a bag of chips and a snack cake from the vending machine, and wash it down with a Coke, or to grab a greasy cheeseburger and fries from the cafeteria. homework service online Even so, these are empty calories, and will not sustain you during the day. If you don’t have the drive to do it in the morning, pack up some healthier options for the day.

Some excellent options incorporate: entire wheat crackers and lean meats and low-excess fat cheeses, minimize to match said crackers (as opposed to purchasing Lunchables,) infant carrots, no sugar additional applesauce, reduced-unwanted fat string cheese, and a baked snack, and a yogurt or piece of fruit. Wash these down with juice, or the aforementioned water.With the little one boomers beginning to retire and travel the planet there will be a massive boom in overseas travel more than the up coming ten-15 many years. It’s usually wonderful to plan journeys months or even many years in advance, but sometime you just want to take off and go at the drop of a hat.

Effectively you can do that if you travel within the borders of the US, but what about when you want to go to Europe or Australia. What if your greatest pals or a household member calls you and says we’re going to London next week, would you like to come with us? You want a passport and you require it in a hurry. You can’t afford to wait months to get it.

You’ll miss out on that enjoyable journey.While you’re enjoying that new vehicle smell, consider the time to go back on the web and contribute to the forum that help with math homework assisted you. Inform them what you purchased, how considerably you paid and what your knowledge with the dealership was like. The up coming guy will enjoy it!

[junker-town]

Does the NBA Draft Combine still matter?

The stars stopped showing up but there are still jobs to be won and lost -- for prospects and GMs — at the Combine.

CHICAGO — John Calipari was holding court by the baseline with a small group of writers. On the court behind him players wearing unfamiliar numbers and matching gear ran up and down in an endless 5-on-5 scrimmage while the men who hold their professional fate in their hands watched intently from the bleachers.

Surreal only begins to describe the NBA Draft Combine, a curious blip on the annual calendar in which the whole league gathers for two days at this West Side gym for the ostensible purpose of working out, measuring, and evaluating prospects. At its heart, the combine is a networking event wrapped around the middle of the playoff calendar. Everyone who is anyone in the NBA is here, and even unattached evaluators roll through town for the annual meet and greet.

Reporters position themselves for a bump and a side chat with GMs and information is the only viable currency. Writers want to know what the GMs are going to do, GMs want to know more about the players, and the players want to protect their interests. The players (via their agents) have come to understand that their information is so valuable that much of is not worth disclosing at the combine. It all makes for an awkward dance.

What was notable, but not surprising, about this year’s combine was who wasn’t here. Markelle Fultz, the likely No. 1 overall pick had already skipped town after a handful of private meetings with teams. Lonzo Ball, Josh Jackson, and Jayson Tatum didn’t even show at all. De’Aaron Fox, Calipari’s latest point guard prodigy, was in attendance and agreed to be measured but talk to the press until Friday.

Tough break for the scribes scrounging for a story, but then Cal appeared and all was well in our world. Observing the impromptu scene gathering around the Kentucky coach, New Orleans coach Alvin Gentry asked Cal in his deadpan manner if he could get him a chair. No need, the man was in his element delivering a delightful 20-minute back-and-forth that was part recruiting bluster and part improv comedy act for the grateful gaggle.

Cal pitched his players, sold his program, and even invited a writer to call him if he wanted to come to Kentucky to see the Wildcat madness for himself. He sliced his distinctions so thick he left a vapor trail of pithy spin and sharp-elbowed one-liners.

“I would never lie, but I’m not tilting it,” Calipari said about his conversations with NBA people. “There may be information that I’m not going to give them, but I’ll never lie.”

How do you do that, Cal?

Nelson Chenault-USA TODAY Sports

“Have you ever been around me before?” he answered in mock seriousness to the writers who were clearly gathered around him. “You’d figure I’d have a way of doing it where nobody would be offended and they walk away saying, ‘What did he just say? Did he really say that? I don’t even know what he just said.’ Then they call me and I won’t pick up the phone.”

And if they lie to you about where one of your players might get picked?

“Then I won’t let them in the gym,” he shot back.

Cal held forth on Malik Monk: “Malik Monk is special, folks. Special.” He endorsed his big man Bam Adebayo — “I’ll be stunned if he’s not a lottery pick” — and made the case for Fox by casually reminding us that he also coached John Wall and Eric Bledsoe without so much as taking a breath in offering this breathless critique:

“I asked John Wall about that. I said, ‘John, is he as fast as you?’ He said, ‘Naaah. I asked Eric Bledsoe. He said, ‘Naaah.’ But he’s fast. Let me say this, John Wall uses his speed as a weapon. Wasn’t as good with the ball, scoring wise at that age. De’Aaron has floaters. He’s not a great 3-point shooter. Neither was John. John’s thing was ‘I’m going to that rim and I’m going to dunk on you.’ This kid didn’t use it as a weapon. The whole thing all season, sprint the ball for layups and when he did it was like, ‘Oh my god.’ He doesn’t view it as a weapon. Yet. When he views it as a weapon, it’s a wrap.”

Then there was the curious case of Hamidou Diallo, a preps-to-pros prospect who enrolled at Kentucky but didn’t play. Because he’s a year removed from his high school class, Diallo is eligible for the draft but he hasn’t signed with an agent yet and is keeping his options open.

Jasen Vinlove-USA TODAY Sports

Diallo wowed observers with his 44 1/2-inch vertical leap, but that’s just about all that anyone knows about the kid. Oddly enough, that may be his biggest advantage heading into the draft, along with that jaw-dropping vertical.

“Hami, they don’t know. Well, don’t show them,” Cal said. “They all like you right now without watching you. Good! The more you don’t play the more they like you, so don’t play! If someone takes him in the lottery, I will retire. There’s nothing more I can do. Four months, doesn’t play, lottery pick. I’m stopping.”

He’s not stopping, of course, not when he keeps churning out a steady supply of NBA prospects year after year. But then someone asked him the key question about this year’s combine. This week no less a figure than Kevin Durant suggested that the whole thing was a waste of time. Durant still harbors bad feelings about being embarrassed after he was unable to bench press 185 pounds a decade ago. There’s no way that in 2017 a player like Durant sets foot in Chicago, let alone subjects himself to a strength test.

“He may be right,” Calipari said. “For the guys if you think there’s anything here that will hurt you, don’t come. If there’s anything here that will help you, come. If you have to play to help yourself, come. If it doesn’t help you playing then don’t play. My job is to protect my guys. The job of these NBA teams is to get as much information as they can to get a great pick. So they would like to see every one of them play 5-on-5. It’s not the way it is for these kids.”

No, but then not everybody here is a top-5 pick and not everybody is a 5-star Kentucky recruit. For everyone else, which is most of the players here, this is a job audition. It’s the first step in a month-long evaluation process that will include countless meetings and coast-to-coast flights for individual workouts.

There are 30 guaranteed contracts on the line and 30 more opportunities after that to be chosen. The odds are stacked against many of these players having a career at all, let alone one that will endure. Emerge here with good measurables, solid play, and strong interviews and those odds can increase ever so slightly in their favor.

For a team with multiple picks, the combine is as good a chance to see these players up close. Nail these picks and a franchise’s fortunes can improve tremendously. Mess one up and it becomes that much harder to breakthrough in the future. So, yes, the combine still has value. It just depends on who you ask.

Stephen R. Sylvanie-USA TODAY Sports

Consider Ivan Rabb, a 6’10 sophomore from California who was part of a celebrated recruiting class that included Celtics’ forward Jaylen Brown. Viewed as a potential lottery pick last year in a weak draft, Rabb went back to school and is now looking at the latter half of the first round. No regrets, though.

“I thought I needed it,” Rabb said. “The plan is to stick in the league for a long time, not get there as soon as possible. So I feel like I made the best decision for me.”

He added a bit of range, but his numbers didn’t improve noticeably and the Bears had a disappointing season. Without the proven ability to stretch the floor, Rabb lacks an obvious offensive role in the NBA. But he can rebound and rebounding translates across all levels. This is a chance to tell his story and he came across as prepared and focused.

“I changed my mentality a lot,” Rabb said. “I’m way more mature off the court, being able to say no to people. And on the court just knowing how to work. I did before but now it’s on a whole different level. I think people don’t know I got better. I was doubled every game so it was hard to show what I can really do. Now when I get in a setting where I’m not being doubled I can showcase my game.”

Then there’s Justin Patton, a 7-footer from Creighton who grew from 6’2 to 6’9 before his sophomore season in high school and took a redshirt season while he grew into his body. If Rabb is poised and confident, Patton is endearingly earnest. He plans to wear a bowtie on draft night because, “It’s kind of my signature.”

Kyle Terada-USA TODAY Sports

Patton needed to be here because even though he’s viewed as a mid first-rounder, nothing in his basketball career has ever been guaranteed. He was barely recruited out of high school and as he noted, if he didn’t have that growth spurt he wouldn’t be here at all. His one season with the Blue Jays was a revelation, showcasing a long, skilled player doused with that magic pixie dust of upside.

“I wasn’t focused on anyone else,” Patton said. “I was just focused on coming here, getting better and putting my results in. It’s a good experience. I’ve never been through an experience like this. I have the chip on my shoulder because people didn’t think I was good enough. There’s still some doubt in people’s mind. My job is to do as best I can to eliminate everyone’s doubt.”

During his interview process, one team asked him what he would do if he was driving and came upon a yellow light. Would he put his foot on the gas or slow to a stop? “Depends on where I’m going” was his answer, which seemed like a clever enough response. (Pressed on which team asked the question, Patton gave up the Timberwolves to which the assembled Chicago writers answered on cue, “Thibs!”)

Even as the top prospects were nowhere to be found, the combine endures with all of its fixation on wingspans, vertical leaps, and shuttle run times. For players like Patton and Rabb it’s their showcase and their stage to make a lasting impression. I asked Patton what he learned about himself during that redshirt season and he had a great answer ready for that one, as well.

“My potential is unfathomable,” he said. “I can go as far as I want to go. I learned there’s really no limit. I learned I can be ready for this.”