#dunno if you'll see this but I don't want to annoy you

[strangerstilinski]

can you pretty please do [intimidation] with eddie

🥺👉👈

[INTIMIDATION] sender, in an effort to frighten the receiver by invading their personal space, sits in their lap to try and inspire discomfort or fear in them.

cw: alcohol consumption, fem!reader, sort of enemies -> lovers (but actually idiots -> lovers), 2.4k

dividers by @strangergraphics

You're blocking the doorway into the Harrington kitchen, shoulder leaned against the wood panelling where you have a good view into the living room. Your unimpressed glare is drawn from the figure currently hogging the sofa when someone bumps into you just as you're bringing the plastic cup in your hand to your lips.

"Jesus, fucking watch it-" The outrage in your tone fades quick when you see who's run into you.

"Sorry." Jonathan grimaces as he watches you wipe a bit of juice and vodka from your chin.

"No, it's fine," You sigh and turn on your heel, following Jonathan into the kitchen as he begins to grab things to make himself a drink, though it appears to be far more lemon-lime soda and grenadine than anything else. "Sorry, I just.. I dunno, sorry." You shrug before gulping down another mouthful of your own admittedly strong drink. You're kind of hoping that once your buzz kicks in you'll feel just a little less like there's a storm cloud floating right above your head.

"What is with you, tonight?" Jonathan asks with an overly cautious smile, "I haven't seen Munson bug you even once, so it's gotta be somethin' else-"

"Nothing," You huff, a little defensive at just the mention of the other boy, "I'm fine."

"Oh yeah, totally," Jonathan chuckles and raises his newly acquired drink in a salute, "You're like a ray of sunshine tonight."

It's annoying as hell, but he's right. You're fuming and Eddie has yet to even speak to you. He's been avoiding you like the plague from the moment you walked through the door, as if Eddie could somehow sense that you were already in a mood, and he didn't feel like getting told off for being the reason that you finally snapped.

Because normally, Eddie would've found at least seven ways he could irritate you by now. He'd have finished the last of the juice he saw you eyeing for your next mixed drink and laughed maniacally when you pouted about it. He'd have pestered you about whether you might want to join in on another campaign, all while making a handful of little comments about just how easy it'll be for him to decimate your character when you do. He'd have watched you shiver while you passed a joint back and forth by the pool, and then draped his stupid jacket around your shoulders just so he could roll his eyes and give you shit about not dressing warmly enough.

Eddie was infuriating — And the worst part was that he knew it. The asshole thrived on pushing buttons and testing people's limits, but tonight evidently he'd been able to tell that you were already toeing dangerously close to yours and had steered clear altogether.

You peer back out into the living room now, narrowed eyes zeroing back in on the figure sprawled across the entire length of the loveseat, socked feet kicked up on the opposite cushion where someone else could be sitting if he weren't such a selfish prick.

"God, what an asshole." You grumble, downing the last of your drink and grabbing the nearest bottle to begin mixing another. "I mean, look at him, seriously. Does he have to take up the whole couch?"

Jonathan's gaze follows the path your own had taken moments before, and he snorts in amusement, "Eddie."

It's not a question, but you answer him as if it had been.

"Yes, Eddie." Another quick glance up into the living room has your eyes locking with the man in question just as his name falls from your lips.

Eddie's eyes go wide, his cheeks dimpling with his sudden grin. He jabs his index finger into his chest, lips moving silently around the words, "Who? Me?"

"Uh-huh.. Why don't you go do something about it?" Jonathan teases.

Eddie's attention is pulled away when Gareth says something from his spot in an armchair. Whatever he says it gets Eddie riled up and he's immediately talking animatedly, hands gesturing wildly as he speaks.

"Maybe I will." You're already moving with purpose, halfway out of the kitchen when you hear your friend shout after you.

"I was joking!"

"Well I'm not!" You call back over your shoulder.

It's darker as you step into the living room, overhead lights off in favor of utilizing the warmer glow from the the lamp tucked away in the corner. You have to step over Eddie's discarded shoes at the foot of the sofa, and the boy very nearly knocks your drink out of your hand when you step in front of him, too distracted by his own tirade to have seen your approach.

But his head snaps up toward you as your thigh brushes his arm. Whatever he's been saying, the words cut off abruptly at the realization of who it is standing beside him.

"Well hey there, princess." He shoots you a toothy grin — You assume it's meant to be charming, but it only irritates you further. "To what do we owe the pleasure of your company?"

You ignore Eddie in favor of casting a small smile of apology toward Gareth, "Sorry to interrupt."

"Nah, no worrie-"

"No, no! You didn't interrupt. We were done." Eddie cuts his friend off, "Gareth was just telling me he was gonna go take a piss, actually."

Gareth splutters for a moment, but when his eyes shift from you to Eddie he's suddenly rising from his chair. You watch Gareth shake his head as he steps around you before he stalks off without a word.

"What was that about?" You can't help but ask in curiosity.

"Beats me. Really had to piss, I guess." Eddie says quickly, sitting up a little straighter against the arm of the couch. He throws an arm out to gesture to Gareth's recently vacated chair, "Did you wanna-"

Rather than taking advantage of the empty seat, you plop yourself across Eddie's thighs unceremoniously, feeling oddly satisfied by the huff of surprise that escapes him when your weight is suddenly in his lap.

The way the warmth of his body seeps into your own is near immediate, even through two layers of denim. Your arm presses into his chest as you lean back into the cushion of the sofa, trying and failing to remain unaffected by his proximity. He smells infuriatingly good this close, clean and masculine with just a lingering hint of the weed he'd smoked earlier in the night. It makes your stomach flutter wildly, makes your head swim for half a second before you're lifting your cup to your mouth in an effort to compose yourself.

Eddie huffs softly and his breath fans out over your exposed shoulder, warm and smelling faintly of cheap beer and menthols. Goosebumps prickle along the length of your arm, hairs standing on end suddenly. You wish you could convince yourself that your body's reaction were one of repulsion, but deep down you know that its something far, far worse than that.

"You.. You're just gonna.. sit.. here?" Eddie asks, voice a little wobbly, unsure.

His knuckles brush your thigh, likely an accident, but one sidelong glare has his hand retreating to the relative safety of the couch cushion in a flash.

"Yep."

You can see outside to the patio from your position, and you focus your attention to the group sitting with their feet in the pool. The sheer amount of effort it takes to keep your eyes trained there, rather than allowing them to drift to where Eddie's hand twitches near your knee-

"Do- Did you want me to move my legs? Do you want-" He shifts underneath you like he's ready to pull his feet from the cushion at the other end, but you remain resolutely in place.

"Nope, I'm good."

You have absolutely no plans of moving any time soon. You'd remain seated right here in Eddie's lap until his bladder was ready to burst, until your weight made his legs fall asleep and tingle from lack of blood flow, until he was ready to grab you by your hips and force you into another seat.

He'd learn his lesson. The inconsiderate couch-hogging asshole.

"O..kay." Eddie says slowly, wiping his palm on the side of his own denim-clad hip, as if his hands might've gotten a little sweaty.

Were you making him warm? Good.

"So.." Eddie pauses. You catch a glimpse of his face scrunching in thought at the corners of your vision before he continues, "Any big plans for the weekend?"

With how close you're sat, Eddie is speaking almost directly into your ear. There's no need for him to raise his voice to be heard, and you find that the low rumble of it is nice, soothing almost. It curls around your ears and sends something warm shooting down your spine.

"Killing boys." You return dryly, eyes straining now in an effort to remain focussed on what's going on in the backyard.

Eddie snorts, body jolting underneath you with his amusement — And his almost-laughter absolutely does not make your chest flush with pride. You couldn't care less whether or not Eddie Munson finds you funny. As if.

"Oh, so nothing out of the ordinary for you then."

Eddie chuckles and the tip of his thumb finds its way to the place where your thigh presses into his. You can't tell if it's accidental or on purpose, but the gentle press of his finger maybe kind of makes your stomach flip pleasantly, so you allow it. Whatever.

You hum in agreement, "Yeah, well. There's almost always some boy who deserves it."

"I don't doubt it," Eddie murmurs with a wide grin, his head tipped sideways over the back of the couch, cheek nearly brushing your shoulder now, "Anyone I know currently at the top of your list, madame assassin?"

"There is this one asshole." You pause to take a sip of your drink, fighting off a grimace at the awful liquor to juice ratio. "He's loud. And irritating. Just loves getting on my last nerve-"

"Long hair?"

The interruption has your eyes rolling, "Yep. Walks around looking like some Van Halen wannabe."

"Oh, he sounds cool."

You can practically hear the smirk in his voice now.

"Well he's not." You return blankly. "He's always trying to get a rise outta me, acting like a total prick-"

"Hold on, hold on-" Eddie cuts you off again, "Now I'm not so sure we're on the same page. Thought I knew who you were talkin' about, but-"

"Oh, you know him." You grumble, sinking farther into the plush cushion on the back of the couch with your drink clutched to your chest. "You know him well, trust me."

Eddie shifts beneath you, angling both himself and you until he's taking up more of your line of sight than the patio doors. His big brown eyes bore into you until you crack and flick your gaze toward him.

"Here's the thing.." Eddie starts, the pad of his thumb stroking the seam on the outside of your knee. "Maybe this guy's just pushing your buttons because he likes when all of your attention is on him-"

The arm he has thrown over the back of the couch by your shoulder moves then, brushing your hair back from your temple only to backtrack and trail the pads of his fingers featherlight over the space between your brows.

"-Maybe.. Shit, I dunno, maybe he likes the way your eyebrows come together when you're angry-"

Your heart is beating so loud you can hear the blood pumping in your ears. The urge to fidget under his attention is strong, but you sit at still as possible in fear of breaking the spell. You have to strain to hear Eddie's next words over the dull whoosh of your heartbeat echoing in your skull.

"Maybe he thinks you look kinda devastatingly beautiful-"

"You-" And, fuck. Did your voice just crack? "You're trying to tell me you think this guy is, what? Being a dick because he likes me? Pulling my pigtails on the playground and shit?"

Eddie's grin is less cocky than you've ever seen it. His lips twitch at one side of his mouth. He almost looks nervous.

You take a deep breath as his fingers skim over your jaw on their way back toward your hair, where he pinches a small lock between two fingers and tugs twice, oh-so gentle.

"What if he was?" Eddie asks softly, "Being a dick because he likes you, I mean."

"I'd tell you he's an idiot." You manage, plastic cup crinkling under the increased pressure of your hand.

Eddie winces, but nods and averts his gaze. His arm falls to the back to the sofa again, close enough for you to feel the warmth of it beside your shoulder.

"But.." You have to swallow down a smile when Eddie's wide eyes snap right back to yours. "Maybe this idiot's attraction isn't totally one-sided. So, maybe he should stop being an asshole and try making a move."

Eddie blinks. Once, then twice. He squares his shoulders and leans in like he might kiss you, but then he backs off again and searches your eyes as if he's terrified he might be reading the entire situation wrong.

"Eddie." You whisper sharply, "The idiot is you, asshole."

"Oh, Jesus Christ, thank god."

And then his fingers are curled gently around the back of your neck. His hand is fully grasping your opposite thigh as he tries to drag you impossibly closer. His plush lips are pressing softly into your own, the taste of beer mixing with vodka and citrus.

It's a quick kiss, chaste. Your mouths only remain glued together for all of three seconds before he's leaning back just enough to watch you blink at him from beneath heavy lashes. You can't imagine how stupidly docile you look; brows pushed up your forehead, chest nearly heaving beneath your shirt, jaw slack, lips parted and waiting for more. It's pathetic how he's managed to turn you into this with just one G-Rated kiss.

The hand on the back of your neck moves to your face, fingertips tracing the smooth line of your brow before trailing back down to cup your cheek.

"Yeah.. Yeah, this is nice too." Eddie murmurs, "You're awful pretty when you're mad, but this.. This right here is somethin' else."

"You're so annoying." It comes out airy, absolutely no bite to your words.

"Oh, that's not changing, sweetheart. Matter of fact, I think it's a part of our spark. Gotta keep the fire burning, right? I'll keep annoying you, you'll keep getting angry-"

"Would you just shut up and kiss me again?"

Eddie grins, already leaning in, "Sure thing."

[phyrestartr]

Deal With It (P.1) | Gojo x M!Reader |

W/C: 2.8k C/W: depictions of self-harm, depictions of depression, poor mental health, stress, mental illness, arranged marriage, hostile relationships, smoking, language, violence Tags: SFW, hurt/comfort, drama, canon-typical violence, character growth, eventual romantic feelings, eventual fluff and good vibes, kouhai gojo, senpai reader, plot and lore

Tag List: @pleniluneg4ze @aizen-lover @easnowpw @tomiokasecretlover @snoweclipsese @mef0rg0r @soulsire @kiiyoooo @reiluvr @fricking-ur-mom @cucumbertoptier @enchantingkitty @mira-la-sol @deepestartisanhumanoidshark @animadi888 @cloudserenity @sageofspades @dietothemusic @prettorett @animadi888 @playboygeniusphilanthropist @chikai-k @starrykie

1.

“So, you really don’t care what he thinks?” Shoko asked as you lit her cigarette. “Even I think he was kinda harsh.”

You pocketed your lighter and leaned back against the cold college walls. “He’s got a thing for that black-haired guy.”

“Getou.” 

“Sure.” You shrugged and tried to rub the ache out of your neck as you stared up at the bleak, grey skies. The air reeked of petrichor. Thankfully you’d brought an umbrella that day. 

“And you’re not bothered he’s in love with Getou?” Your friend continued, her cute bobbed haircut swaying with the tilt of her head. She always looked so charming like that, when she was being a mischievous brat while pretending to be anything but. 

“Dunno.” And that was the truth. “He’s not even my type. I’d rather hitch up with someone like you or Nanami. Someone less annoying. Less loud-mouthed.” 

“Ooh, that'll hurt his ego.” Shoko smiled. “Well, guess you'll have to learn to deal with it.”

You took a deep breath and rubbed your face as you nodded. “Yeah.”

–

“Forever is a long time,” You mumbled, leaning your forehead against the cool touch of the window. Rain pittered and pattered, exploding off the glass like trillions of kamikaze planes. It almost birthed some sort of hurt in your chest. Best not to dwell on it, you decided.

“Hah? Are you talking to yourself again like a weirdo?” The one and only Gojo Satoru yowled before kicking you in the rear like a petulant child. “Pft! Figures. Knowing my luck, I would have to get married to a creeper.” 

“Even if you married Getou, you'd still be marrying a creep,” you grumbled, dusting the dirt off your behind. “You need something? Or did you harass me just for the fun of it?” 

You heard Gojo, your fiancé, scoff and shuffle behind you. “I just wanted to remind you to humble yourself! Just because I'm forced to marry you doesn't mean you're accomplished or cool or anything, got it?” 

Being in his presence had you craving a cigarette. “Yeah, got it.” 

“And Suguru's better than you,” he added, aloof voice bowing down beneath hardened, steeled words. “Don't forget that either.” 

You bit down on your cheek to ward away the heat building under your skin, the magma sinking deep into your eyesockets and threatening to pour down your esophagus. The taste of iron washed against your tongue, and you released your flesh from between your molars. Sometimes, you wanted to keep boring down on yourself to see how much you could really take, but a fear of the answer too often made you think twice. 

“This is starting to bore me,” you said, tilting your head as you caught a flicker of red in your rain-muddied reflection. You touched your fingers to your tongue and found blood coating the tips. 

“Pah. I was gonna say the same!” You watched his reflection turn away. “Good luck trying to impress me.” 

I'm not interested. You watched him walk away, slouching and with his hands in his pockets like he was emulating some kind of yankii character. He might have fit the bill, if he hadn't had such a ridiculous, brat side to him.

Just deal with it. You wiped the red on your uniform with a sigh. Tomorrow's a new day. 

—

“Sorry about Satoru,” Getou said. He'd found you outside, tucked close against the stone wall with a cigarette in your mouth as you watched the downpour. Apparently, he liked the rain, too. 

“You don't need to apologize,” you said after a drag. “It's not your fault.” Probably. 

The younger sorcerer smiled a little bit wider. “In a way, it almost is; Satoru wouldn't be coming after you if it weren't for my, ah, sheer existence, I guess you could say.”

You shrugged. “You didn't ask to exist,” you said, secretly cringing as the words left your mouth.

Getou laughed. “Ho, that's a good point, I didn't think about it that way.” Another chuckle left him as he leaned against the wall beside you and stared at the rain. “It's definitely Satoru's fault, then.”

You hummed in agreement and offered him a cigarette. He blinked, but plucked one out of the box and looked it over before fumbling to tuck the end into his mouth as you held the lighter's flame out for him. You blocked the wind as he leaned in and inhaled deeply until the butt hissed to life with molten red. A beat later, Getou sputtered and coughed wildly, waving his hand through the air to dismiss your stare and the smoke's mockery. 

You frowned. “You don't smoke?” 

Your company wheezed and laughed, leaning back against the wall with a humbled smile. “Just wanted to see what all the fuss was about,” he said. “You and Ieiri—I feel like I never see either of you without a cigarette.”

“Life’s stressful, I guess.” You looked at the half-spent smoke in your hand, exhaling smoke through your nose as you thought.

You saw Getou lean in out of the corner of your eye. His dark hair brushed against your shoulder, though it could have just been the wind, too. “It doesn't affect you?” 

“Shoko reverses the negatives,” you grumbled. You stuck the cigarette into the corner of your mouth again before pocketing your hands. “Lung cancer would be an easier out than getting ripped to shreds by a curse, besides.” 

“Ho? You think so?” Getou teased. “You don't think you'd go mad? Laying in bed, suffocating in your own body, just waiting to die?” 

You shrugged. “It's a human way to go, at least. Random. Maybe self-imposed, sometimes. But…normal.” 

Time slowed for a second as Getou stared at you. You hazarded a look for once in your life, and caught the enigmatic thing's warm, obsidian eyes. They gave you pause, made you wonder, sent your mind reeling as you caught glints of jagged edges disrupting smooth, volcanic glass. 

“Are you alright?” You asked without thinking. 

Getou blinked, then smiled. “I just think you're interesting, senpai.” He glanced down at the smoldering stick caught between his fingers. “It's a surprise, to be honest. I think Satoru'll be in good hands with you.” 

You stared down at the puddle pooling around your boots. Another self stared back, his image ruined and distorted by raindrops crashing into him, yet he was still clearer than the version trapped in your skull. Maybe the mirrored image was your real self, and you were just the distortion. “I don't have much of a choice, I guess. But I’ll try my best.”

“That’s all we can really hope for with partners, right?” 

“Right.” A moment passed. “You’re oddly okay with this.” 

“I’m not taking it personally,” Getou said. “How can I? Neither of you want to do this, anyway—you hardly even tolerate each other in the first place, and now Satoru’s gone extra crazy about it.” 

The ground felt a little more solid under your feet, and you were a little more real, after those words were spoken. Even the reflection in the puddle grew clearer, revealing fresh colours once concealed by grey thoughts. Something would drain the world of its saturation again, but that moment would stay with you until that day came. 

“Thanks,” you said with some difficulty. “The thought’s appreciated.” 

“It’s the least I can do.” His hand clasped your shoulder and squeezed gently. You forced yourself not to shrink away from it like a slug trying to flee a grain of salt. “Thanks for putting up with him, senpai. Most people aren’t so charitable. Besides,” he said, leaning in close enough for his breath to brush against your ear, “I get whatever Satoru gets, and you get whatever he has, no? What’s yours is mine, what’s mine is yours, and all that?”

Heat scattered across your face and prickled the length of your spine. You were foolish to forget that Getou was a menace, just like Gojo, yet somehow more lethal. 

“Sure.” You didn’t look at him. You couldn’t look at him. It’d be a death sentence. “You’ll get as much as he gets, I guess.”

Getou chuckled and backed off. “We’ll see.”

–

Gojo threw open the door to your room and zoomed inside, socked feet sliding against smooth hardwood. “It’s me!” 

He slipped and fell as soon as you turned to look at him. “It’s you.” You snatched your walkman out of the air as it tipped off your desk following the sorcerer's tumble. “Why is it you?”

“Rude!” Gojo spat out in-between his pained whining. “I'm your fiancé! I'm allowed to be here!”

“That's not really how that works.” You watched Gojo melt into a starfish, stomach down, cheek smooshed against the floorboards. 

And you turned away, back to your work of flipping through astronomical charts and comparing the dates and info with the briefs sent to you, the one third year who bothered to stay. The admins relied on you too much, yet thankfully left the role of guidance counselor and teacher to someone older and more tolerant like Yaga. Still, the sparks of hope that were Utahime and Shoko promised some future relief for—

“Mou, why aren't you more concerned for your fiancé’s well-being?” Gojo whined. 

“I'm more concerned about your sudden desire for me to be concerned,” you offered. 

Gojo gasped and sat up in a whirlwind. “I never said I desired your concern! That's so salacious.” 

“Is this because Getou spoke with me?” You asked, leaning back into your chair with a sigh. 

“No!” He rebuked. “Maybe,” he said. “You better not be trying to win him over ‘cause you’re jealous.” 

“I’m not interested in him,” you snapped. “I’m not interested in you.”

“Hmmm, sounds fake. Everyone loves me.”

“Right.”

“You think there’s any chance they’ll call off the engagement?” 

“No.” 

“Can’t you, like, look into the future and figure it out?” 

You frowned and sent him a look. “What?”

Gojo swayed side to side, hands tucked in the middle of his criss-crossed legs like a kindergartener. “Isn’t that your thing?” He huffed. “Doing pre-op stuff, predicting future events, never really going out on missions ‘cause you’re low-key kinda weak in the field?” A ghoulish snicker left him. “I mean, you’re waaay weaker than me, so—”

“I don’t divine for myself,” you said, voice sharp and jagged. “I help avoid disasters. I help foresee assignment outcomes and the best way to move towards or away from them. I don’t—” You swallowed and caught your breath. “I don’t divine the fates of people.” 

“Well, maybe you should,” Gojo said, sobering slightly. “I don’t wanna do this, you don’t wanna do this, why don’t you just check and see how we can avoid it, huh? This is kind of a natural disaster in its own way.” 

“It’s just an arrangement,” you rasped. “You’ll get over it.”

“I shouldn’t have to.” Gojo frowned in return. “I’m gonna be the strongest sorcerer in the world. I don’t have to settle for an arranged marriage.” 

Your heart thudded dully in the back of your skull, its rising pace shaking the cage keeping it safe. Your throat tightened, too, while your thoughts warped and rippled into one another like your reflection, unable to stay whole under the devastation of falling rain, until you heard everything but nothing at once.

Your face must have done something strange for Gojo to look at you like you were a kicked puppy. You hated it, the way his expression flickered and the way his posture lost its self-righteous poise despite his childish way of sitting. He looked less-than. You didn’t mean to make him look that way. 

“I—” He tried, but you raised a hand. He fell silent. 

“I’ll look into it,” you said. “You’ll know if I find anything.”

If Gojo said anything more, you didn't hear it. You shut the rest of the world out and lost yourself in the positions of planets and the elements of each sorcerer available for future missions, comparing and contrasting the direction of energies to decide who would be best suited for which job. Losing your mind in the charts and data calmed your mind and spirit, easing you back down to an equilibrium until the sun rose again and you’d forgotten the turmoil of the hours before. 

Morning already. You squinted looking out your window and closed the blinds with a quick snap. Right after the blinds settled, you heard a snore. 

Gojo Satoru was asleep in your bed. His gangly arms hugged a pillow to his chest as he laid on his side, facing your way. The odd sight of peace on the younger sorcerer's face drew you in, bringing you close enough to get a good look at the snowy lashes resting against porcelain skin. He always looked odd to you, as though he were some kind of inhuman human, like an alien trying to put on the guise of your fellow terrans. But he was very much human; the glimpses caught of him during a distantly shared childhood proved as much. 

I don’t wanna do this, you don’t wanna do this, why don’t you just check and see how we can avoid it, huh? 

You'd never tell him you already tried to divine that. You could never relay properly how your mind burned with ways to discount your work and force self-doubt into what you knew to be true time after time after time; you were going to marry him. There was no way out. 

But there were still some things you could judge.

You sat down at your desk and skimmed through files until you happened upon Getou Suguru. Your heart hit your ribs a little faster, a little harder, as you found his birthdate and recognized his element as metal. It suited him. Gojo, on the other hand, held earth energy. That coupled with the more Western-normalized fire sign Sagittarius, explained him in a way that could be regarded as violating by those who didn't understand. 

You rubbed your brows and squeezed your eyes closed until sparking colours and inky black splotches danced against your eyelids. Charting the stars, understanding people, contrasting energies and suggesting changes to ensure favourable outcomes—all were the culmination of onmyoudou, the ancient art that carved the path and existence for jujutsu, but people feared an onymoji’s ability to read people more than the destruction caused by sorcerers. Onmyoji helped empires move, assisted in bringing them good fortune and positive outcomes; they could foretell what a person should and shouldn’t do. Clairvoyance born from calculations, and the wielding of shikigami by those clairvoyants, reeked of power and the abuse of it. 

Curiosity wrenched your eyes back open. You blinked away the stars and darkness until your vision and mind cleared enough to let you draw up a timeline of events and planets you’d already looked over a thousand times. 

You frowned and double checked, triple checked, quadruple checked the facts after a first look. You glanced at birthdates again and again. You looked for anomalies in the calendar and cross-referenced your sources. All stayed the same, all were as they’d been five and sixty minutes ago—you were too good at your job to be wrong, yet you still always held out hope for errors and your own incompetency. 

You leaned back in your chair and picked at a hangnail. You can always redirect energy for the sake of a client, you recalled; your mother had taught you as much. It might not be perfect, but we can try. You pulled at the sliver of skin until you gouged it out of your finger, leaving a bloody wound and a shred of relief in its wake.

You jumped as your door slid open to reveal Yaga. His train of thought stopped dead in its tracks as he spied the bratty Gojo curled up in your bed, snoozing without a care.

“What the hell is he doin’ here?” Your teacher groused. 

“He came in to harass me, I guess,” you said. “Then apparently fell asleep when I started ignoring him.” 

“Hah. Yeah, that kid can't function unless someone's giving him attention.” Your superior sighed and crossed his arms. “Anyway, you have those predictions?” 

“Yeah, I—yeah, just one second.” You rubbed your eyes and begged the rest of your lifeforce to lock it in as you saved documents and compiled them in an email for all the higher-ups to view. Something about the process made your spine rattle; it must have been the fear of not CC-ing someone by accident. “Sent.”

Yaga checked his phone as it dinged. He took a moment to skim through the forecast and nodded, letting you stand impatiently before him. 

“Looks like you touched on everything,” he said as he tucked his phone away. “Good job. Now get some rest, you look like shit.” 

Yaga took his leave, and you stared at the oversized baby hogging your bed. 

Rest. You nudged and pushed Gojo into the wall before collapsing beside him. Right.

[chriss-slut]

Pls pls write a one shot abt this. https://vm.tiktok.com/ZGeVwJ6f4/

Begging

Significant Other

~ Chris Sturniolo x fem!reader ~

Synopsis: basically, inspired on this tiktok.

Warnings: none, just fluff and making out <3

A/N: It's a little short and i don't think it ended well but i tried :) and thank u for the requestt!!

Me and Chris date for about 6/7 months now. We're really affectionate with each other, and when i say really, i mean really. PDA is literally our thing, always holding hands, always glued to each other or even kissing while we're inside or outside. We really don't care about what other people think and if we could, we probably would even hook up in public, yeah...

Anyways... I'm now at the triplets house, I've been here for a week now, and we're kinda having a party. Almost all of the triplets' friends are here. Some of them in the livingroom part chatting and others in the kitchen, eating and chatting as well.

I'm with Chris sitting on the couch, well, I'm sitting on his lap to be more specific.

Everyone is chatting among them while me and Chris are just listening to them. Chris speaks too but not as much as the others. i keep silent cuz i don't know about what they're talking. I've been looking at Chris this whole time. Even though I'm on his lap, we didn't cuddle much today and yesterday so I'm needy for love.

"What's up, babe?" Chris whispers at me as he catches me staring at him, while his friends are talking in the background.

I shake my head quickly, getting out of transe "Uh.. nothing! Sorry!" I say, trying to brush it off, and i look at the group of people talking.

Chris frowns at me, not buying it. "No. You've been staring at me for too long. What's happening?"

I sigh, Chris knows me too well. "Alriight... i miss you, that's just it!"

"Miss me? I'm literally under you!" Chris speaks softly, chuckling softly.

"Not like thaat! I miss being with you, cuddling with you, kissing you... those kind of stuff!" i whisper at him.

Chris smirks at me and leans in to kiss my neck softly "Why didn't you tell me earlier? I could've gave you what you wanted!" he speaks softly against my neck.

I shiver softly "I dunno... I didn't want to bother you, I guess." I whisper softly, my hand massaging his scalp.

"You'll never bother me if you want love..." He mumbles softly against my neck. Chris starts nibbling and sucking on my sweet spot in my neck, making me moan lowly and shift my position in his lap, so I'm hugging him completely.

Chris smirks again and run his kisses up to my face, kissing my cheeks, nose and lips. When he gets to my mouth, i can't help but deepen the kiss.

Chris returns the deep kiss and we start making out in the middle of a huge group of people, his hands now cupping my ass and my arms around his neck.

All of the voices in the background fade and the only thing we can hear is our muffled soft moans and the sloppy noises of our tongues and lips against each other.

After a while, our session is cut off by a voice.

"Chris!!! Stop almost eating Y/N and get your ass here!" Nick yells for the - god knows how many - time from the kitchen.

Chris pulls away from me and growls annoyed. "What?!?" He yells at Nick.

"Chris, I've been calling for you for 10 minutes! Are you deaf??" Nick yells back.

Chris rolls his eyes "And are you blind? Can't you see I'm busy??"

Nick rolls his eyes as well "You're busy making out? Did you know you can do it at any time of the day without being in the middle of a party??"

Chris sighs "Jesus Christ..." He taps my ass, indicating for me to get off him.

I stand up and sit on the spot we were as Chris stands up as well and goes over the kitchen.

I take a deep breath and wipe my mouth, cleaning the saliva that was around my lips. I stay zoned out, thinking about our make out.

"Hey, baby, I'm back!" I get cut off my transe hearing Chris speaking to me while standing right in front of me. i look up at him and smile. I move to the side, giving him space for him to sit down next to me.

"What did Nick want?" I speak softly, leaning against Chris.

Chris wraps an arm around my waist, pulling me to his chest. "Just a random annoying shit... Don't worry about it, I'm here now" he says sweetly at me, smiling.

i smile back at him "okay, then..." i lean to peck his lips "i love you, you know that?"

"i love you too, baby" i speaks softly, leaning to kiss me again, this time, more intensively.

I hope you liked it!! Pls tell me what you think in the comments, i'd appreciate it :) xoxo <3

[darknight3904]

Through the Years

𝕊𝕦𝕞𝕞𝕒𝕣𝕪: ᴀ ɢʟɪᴍᴘꜱᴇ ɪɴᴛᴏ ʜᴏᴡ ʏᴏᴜ ᴀɴᴅ ꜱᴀᴛᴏʀᴜ ɢᴏᴊᴏ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ɪɴᴛᴇʀᴀᴄᴛᴇᴅ ᴏᴠᴇʀ ᴛʜᴇ ʏᴇᴀʀꜱ.

𝕎𝕒𝕣𝕟𝕚𝕟𝕘𝕤: ᴄᴜʀꜱɪɴɢ. ᴍᴇɴᴛɪᴏɴꜱ ᴏꜰ ᴅᴇᴀᴛʜ/ᴋɪʟʟɪɴɢ. ᴍᴇɴᴛɪᴏɴꜱ ᴏꜰ ᴠɪʀɢɪɴɪᴛʏ (ɴᴏ ꜱᴇx) ɴᴀᴏʏᴀ ᴢᴇɴɪɴ (ʜᴇ ɪꜱ ɢʀᴏꜱꜱ ᴀɴᴅ ɴᴇᴇᴅꜱ ᴀ ᴡᴀʀɴɪɴɢ)

ɪ ᴍᴀᴅᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀꜱ ʙɪʀᴛʜᴅᴀʏ ɪɴ ɴᴏᴠᴇᴍʙᴇʀ ɪɴ ᴛʜɪꜱ. ꜱᴏʀʀʏ ɪꜰ ʏᴏᴜ'ʀᴇ ɴᴏᴛ ᴀ ɴᴏᴠᴇᴍʙᴇʀ ʙᴀʙʏ. ɢᴏᴊᴏ x ᴢᴇɴɪɴ!ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ

ᴡᴏʀᴅ ᴄᴏᴜɴᴛ: ᴏᴠᴇʀ 5ᴋ (ᴏɴʟʏ ᴛʜᴇ ʙᴇꜱᴛ ꜰᴏʀ ᴍʏ ʙʟᴜᴇ ᴇʏᴇᴅ ᴋɪɴɢ)

ꜱᴇʀɪᴇꜱ ᴍᴀꜱᴛᴇʀʟɪꜱᴛ /ᴍʏ ᴍᴀꜱᴛᴇʀʟɪꜱᴛ

December 7, 2005 (Gojo: 16 You: 15)

"You know you're practically a senior citizen now."

Gojo's head whips around, insulted at the idea of being called old. Sure he's got white hair but he's just turned 16, not 61.

"You're only a year younger than me, y'know. You'll be 16 soon too." He grins

Gojo grins as you roll your eyes next to him.

"At least I don't have white hair already." You point out

"Whatever, at least I'm not two inches tall." Gojo laughs, resting an elbow on your head.

"I'm still growing!" You defend, angry at the idea of staying the same height forever. "Get your ugly arm off me!"

"I'll have you know my arm is gorgeous," Gojo says, blue eyes catching the sunlight as he easily matches your pace.

"Mmhmm." You roll your eyes

To keep it simple, Satoru Gojo got under your skin. Perhaps it was that annoying smile or maybe the fact that your clan notoriously hated his. All you knew was that he drove you insane and you wished he'd just disappear so he could never bother you again.

"Where is everyone? I thought we agreed to meet here at 4," Gojo whined next to you.

"Worried your boyfriend stood you up?" You tease. thinking of the dark-haired boy who was usually joined to Gojo's hip most days.

"Suguru would never do that to me." Gojo smiles, unwrapping a lollipop he had stuffed in his pocket.

"I dunno, what if he finally got sick of you, Gojo?" You say, knowing it was impossible.

A soft ding interrupts your conversation with the boy and Gojo fishes his phone out of his pocket.

"HA! Told you he'd never stand me up!"

Gojo's phone is obnoxiously close to your face as he prompts you to read his chat with Geto.

On our way. Nanami needed to be convinced.

Another ding sounds and a picture of your fellow first years pops up Haibara is dragging Nanami down the sidewalk by his arms.

"Idiots." You murmur

"I see that smile! You got a crush on Nanamin?" Gojo's voice fills your ears as his pointer finger pokes at your face

"Piss off, Gojo." You groan "I hope one of Geto's curses eat you."

April 2006 (Gojo: 16 You: 15)

"You totally just cheated!" You accuse the blonde across from you

"Have you considered that you're just terrible at Jenga?" Nanami asked

"Have you considered that you just moved the table during my turn so you'd win and not me!" You groan

"It's just Jenga, Zenin. We can just start over." Haibara points out

"Not with a cheater playing." You roll your eyes

Haibara smiles as he begins to pick up the fallen blocks from the floor. You had been on edge for a few days now and your temper was beginning to get a bit out of hand. He had asked Nanami what he thought was the matter and the two of them had come to the conclusion that it had to do with your visit with the head of the Zenin clan.

"That's enough for today. I'm going to take a nap." Nanami declares

"Ugh, what a party pooper." Haibara teases, elbowing you.

"In case you forgot, Zenin here did me the favor of hitting me hard enough that I nearly passed out today in training." Nanami reminds the two of you.

Ah right, that. You had gone a bit too hard today sparring with Nanami.

"Oh, I forgot about that," Haibara says

"Yes. You should let Zenin get some rest. Her technique is draining, she's said so herself.

Sure, Phantom wasn't exactly easy to pull off but you wanted to keep playing. You wanted to kick Nanami's ass in Jenga.

"Alright. Let's eat dinner together tonight though. I have these awesome cookies in my room you'll both like." Haibara declares before following Nanami out of your room.

Perhaps Nanami was correct, a nap did sound enjoyable right now. A quick nap and then maybe you'd cook something to share with the boys tonight. Perhaps a couple of rice balls or maybe some chicken.

No sooner had you gotten comfortable under your blankets that your door swung open and Gojo was running into your room, Geto close on his heels.

"Satoru, you should always knock on a girl's door before barging in." Geto scolds his friend for you.

"It's fine, Suguru. It's not like she's getting changed or anything." Gojo grins looking down at you who had remained buried under your covers.

"And what if I was?" You scowl from your blankets

"I would've screamed in horror and asked Suguru to exorcise you." Gojo says flashing that oddly charming smile of his.

You're sure he could get away with murder if he just flashed those pearly whites.

You ignore the flutter of butterflies in your stomach as you sit up.

"I was about to take a nap but I guess it can wait." You say

"A nap? What are you four?" Gojo teases

"Yeah probably." You agree

"Not everyone is as energetic as you are Satoru." Geto reminded the white haired boy

"Yeah, what Geto said. Not everyone is a walking ball of energy." You say

Geto had always been your favorite of Jujutsu High's strongest duo. He didn't call you short or try to steal your food. Or maybe it was his long hair that seemed to always look better than yours.

Plus then there was that time Gojo snuck into your room to try and shave your eyebrows off. Sometimes you swore the elders of the Gojo clan were sending the six eyes user after you on purpose.

"Whatever, loser." Gojo said trying to reach and mess up your hair.

"Would you stop that! I'm not a child!" You groan

"Then why're you the size of one?" Gojo laughs

Even Geto laughed at that one as you shove Gojo out of the way.

"Why are you two even here? Can't you go bother Shoko for once?" You ask

"Shoko said you've been in a bad mood the past few days." Geto started

"So we've come to cheer you up!" Gojo finished

You watched wide-eyed as Gojo dumped the bag he was holding onto your bed. Every possible sweet fell out accompanied by different DVDs.

"For the record, I told him it was too much candy but he didn't listen," Geto says as Gojo riffles through the movie choices.

One DVD case catches your eye as Gojo argues with Geto about his sugar choices.

"Are you a Rachel McAdams fan, Gojo?" You ask as you hold up Mean Girls.

"Duh." Gojo grins before swiping the case from your hand to pop it into the player you had

"Raise your hand if you have ever been personally victimized by Regina George."

"Y'know you're kinda like Regina, Satoru," Geto says observing the movie.

"Am not." Gojo rolls his eyes sipping at his soda

"Sure you are." Geto smiles

"Yeah right." Gojo scoffs "Whaddaya think, Zenin?"

Gojo looked at you for an answer but was met with you asleep next to him, head resting on one of those massive stuffed animals you kept. You're drooling a bit and he can't help but think that you're a bit cute like this.

He reaches to shake you awake, determined to get your opinion on whether or not he is like a spoiled teenage girl.

"Let her rest. I heard that her and the other first years went pretty hard today training. Nanami took a big blow to the head from her using her technique." Geto stopped his best friend

"I wish she'd show me her technique. She explained it to me once but I still don't get it." Gojo huffed

"I'm pretty sure Phantom just multiplies her and then she closes the distance with her real body. I watched her use it on Haibara a few months ago." Geto explains

"Whatever...I still want to see it with my own eyes." Gojo declared

The TV hummed softly as they sat in silence while Regina George got hit by a bus after rushing out of her school.

"Why do you think she's been in such a bad mood recently? I heard her yelling about Jenga earlier." Geto asked

"I'm not entirely sure but I think it probably has to do with Nabito Zenin." Gojo said "His archaic way of doing things is probably upsetting her. I heard that she had some meeting with him recently."

Geto lets out a soft hum of acknowledgment.

"Nabito is probably trying to stick her in some arranged marriage. I wouldn't be surprised if it was with his own brat, Naoya." Gojo elaborates

"You know a lot about the Zenin Clan, Satoru," Geto points out

"Well the last Six Eyes and Infinity user was killed by one of them, so I think I'm entitled to a little knowledge. " Gojo defends

"Yeah, yeah. Maybe you should try to be a little nicer to her though, especially if you know what might be going on with her clan." Geto suggests

"I'm perfectly nice." He defends

"Yesterday you said you were going to shave her head in her sleep because she ate one of your french fries."

"I was joking!"

November 2006 (Gojo: 16 You: 16)

"Happy Birthday, Zenin!" Haibara called "Have fun with your family!"

You smiled and waved at Haibara and Nanami as you got into the car that had been sent to pick you up.

Fun. This trip would be anything but fun.

Snow was falling as you entered your childhood home. The soft scent of lavender filled your nose and calmed your nerves.

"You're back! I'm still cooking!" Your mother exclaimed as she emerged from the kitchen

"Yeah, there wasn't much traffic." You reply, trying to release yourself from her bone-crushing hug. Seriously with her strength, she'd probably be able to exercise curses.

"Go wash up. Your father will be back soon and he is bringing Nabito-san and his son." Your mother says

Dinner is quiet. Or rather you're quiet next to your mother while Nabito and your father discuss something about cursed techniques and something about Toji Zenin's kid.

"Your face is plain." the boy across from you suddenly says

Your mother momentarily freezes but quickly regains her composure.

"Yes well, sometimes plain features are best. Just think you wouldn't want every man looking at your wife." Your mother says

Did she just agree to you being plain featured? You looked like her for crying out loud!

"Whatever," Naoya mumbled before shoving more rice into his mouth.

What a pig.

You're not entirely sure why it's happening. Perhaps it was the dinner with Naoya that had your brain going crazy. But ever since you got back from your parents' home you can't stop staring at Gojo. Was it because he represented everything your clan hated? Or maybe it was because he was insufferably annoying? Whatever the reason, you swore he was drawing you in.

"You should stop staring. You might put a hole in his head." Shoko says

"I wasn't-"

"Don't lie to me." Shoko smiles knowingly

You definitely weren't staring at Satoru Gojo. Nope. Not in a million years. And you definitely didn't get butterflies whenever he looked your way. That would be ridiculously, ridiculous.

August 2007 (Gojo: 17 You: 16)

"I don't get why I wasn't assigned with you two. I mean we're always going on missions together." You grumble

"They probably need you to help Gojo train more. Your technique is perfect for him to strengthen his Six Eyes, Zenin." Haibara points out

"It's just a grade two. We'll be back before sundown." Nanami assures

"Yeah, then we can watch a movie and get fat off popcorn," Haibara says

"I'm choosing tonight. I don't want to watch another Pirates of the Caribbean movie." Nanami declares

"But Jack Sparrow is so sexy!" You groan

Haibara laughs in agreement with you.

"See you later, Zenin! I can't wait to bully Nanami into watching Pirates of the Caribbean with you tonight!" Haibara declares

See you later, Zenin!

See you later.

You should've gotten into that damn car with them. Your technique was better than both of theirs. Maybe if you had...just maybe you wouldn't be staring down at half of your friend.

Geto was next to you, looking down at his body, He was silent, long hair blocking his face from you.

Nanami sat behind you, a damp cloth over his eyes.

"You need to rest for now, Nanami," Geto suggests, his soft voice filling the silence.

"Damn it. I should've gone with you two." You say, your voice dripping in regret.

"You could've gotten killed too, Zenin." Nanami sighs, his voice is tight like he's holding back tears.

A soft summer breeze blows through your hair as you sit on a bench. You had left Geto and Nanami with Haibara, not wanting to see the bloody sheet he was under anymore.

"Hey."

You glance up from where you had been picking at your nails, willing yourself to hold it together.

Gojo stood over you, hand stretched out with a piece of candy in it.

"I heard what happened." He said sitting next to you as you unwrapped the candy and popped it in your mouth.

"You wanna talk about it?" Gojo asked

"Not really." You sighed

"You don't seem too sad," Gojo said quietly

"I think I will be...later on. Once I'm alone." You say

"Yeah, me too." He replied.

Silence enveloped the two of you as you focused on the taste of the candy in your mouth.

"I gave you the green apple. It's my least favorite." Gojo said

"Thanks." You reply

September 2007 (Gojo: 17 You: 16)

In accordance with Jujutsu regulations, Geto Suguru is sentenced to death.

For once in his life Gojo Satoru is not buzzing around you like an excited puppy. You can see him, sitting alone on the steps of Jujutsu High.

The deaths of 112 people including his own parents rests on Geto's hands. You couldn't believe it when Nanami read the report to you. But now, seeing Gojo alone confirmed it.

You don't know what you're going to say to Gojo as you approach him. What do you say to the person who's just lost their best friend to a life of being a curse user?

"I know you're lurking back there," Gojo says

Damn it.

"I wanted to give you this." You mumble tossing him a lollipop before sitting next to him, probably a bit too close for someone who swore you weren't interested in him.

Gojo softly smiles and accepts the candy.

"Did he say what he wants to do next?" You ask

"He wants to exterminate all non-sorcerers from the world," Gojo says

An unattainable goal.

"That's impossible." You say

"That won't stop him." Gojo points out

A soft weight taps you and the sweet scent of Satoru Gojo's shampoo fills your nose as he rests his head on your shoulder.

"I'm sure you'll see him again. Even if it's not for a long time, you'll talk to each other again." You assure him.

"Yeah, I hope so," Gojo admits

His voice is a whisper in the breeze, a prayer for the future.

Christmas 2009 (Gojo: 20 You: 19)

"You have to stay quiet, Gojo!" You groan looking at your friend next to you

"This costume is so itchy though! The beard is gonna make my skin all red!" He whines

"Suck it up." You command

Gojo lets out another groan but helps you finish arranging the copious amounts of gifts he had ended up buying for Megumi and Tsumiki.

"Alright, it's perfect. Now go stand next to the tree."

Gojo listens to you and lets out a huff of embarrassment when you snap his picture.

"That better be for your eyes only." He says

"Oh definitely don't worry about it." You brush him off before quickly sending the picture off to Nanami and Shoko. They're sure to get a kick out of it.

"Remind me why I asked you to help with these brats again," Gojo says as he notices you sending his picture.

"Cuz' these brats would be dead if you were the only one watching them, Gojo." You say

"I'm a great caregiver." He says

"You wanted to get Megumi a pink tutu for Christmas." You say

"He would've looked great!" Gojo defends

"He would've set his Demon Dogs after you." You say

"Would not."

"Would too."

"Would not!'

"Would too!"

"What's going on?"

You and Gojo stop your bickering to see sleepy-eyed children hovering on the steps, dark hair out of place and a frizzy mess atop their little heads.

"Santa and I were just arguing about what cookie is best!" You grin

"That's not Santa. That's Gojo in that costume you ordered off Amazon last week." Megumi points out. "I saw the order details on your laptop."

Who the hell does this kid think he is?

"What? No! This is the real Santa from the North Pole!" You scramble

"Megumi, just go with it!" Tsumiki whispers to her little brother, "They obviously don't know Santa's not real!"

Is it a crime to toss a child out a window?

"The jig is up!" Gojo declares beside you as he rips off his fake beard. "Now let's get to the real fun stuff! Mistletoe!"

Gojo grabs a sprig of mistletoe from between the couch cushions. Curse him and his hiding spots.

"Pucker up, hot stuff!" Gojo says as he reaches for you and wraps an arm around your waist to pull you close.

"Gross." You say pushing his face away from you, you hope he can't see how red you are.

Why the hell was he like this? The past few months Gojo had been all over you. Be it flirty gestures or just plain Gojo weirdness, he was consuming every bit of you and you weren't sure if it was a bad thing.

"You're blushing," Megumi says

"Aha! I knew you wanted a kiss from me!" Gojo exclaims chasing after you as you try to escape up the stairs.

Seriously, is it a crime to toss a kid out a window?

March 2011 (Gojo: 21 You: 20)

The harsh slam of the front door wakes Gojo from the peace that had taken over the house. Megumi and Tsumiki had gone to bed and he was kicked back on the sofa, face mask on and Harry Potter was running on TV.

"I'm going to seriously kill that asshole one day." You groan as you rummage through the fridge

"I take it the meeting with Naoya didn't go well," Gojo said

"Didn't go well is the understatement of the millennium." You groan sitting down next to him a slice of cold pizza in one hand and a glass of wine in the other.

"Tell me about it," Gojo says pulling your feet into his lap.

He listens to you vent about your "fiance" and how annoying he is. Naoya wants you to cut your hair a certain way and to stop wearing the color red. Apparently, you also need to start wearing lipstick now according to the man as well.

"Honestly I hope he gets hit by a bus tomorrow." You groan "And what the hell is wrong with my hair?"

"Nothing. I think it suits you nicely." Gojo smiles, knowing it's true. You're as pretty as a picture even when you're mad at the world.

"Thanks." You sigh "That wasn't the worst of it though"

"Oh? What else did the scumbag say this time?" Gojo asked, genuinely curious

"Well beyond my appearance, he asked if I was still a virgin today." You say

"Are you?"

"Ow!" Gojo yelps as he rubs his arm where you punched him

"Yeah, I am you idiot!" You seethe, placing your wine and half-eaten pizza on the coffee table, "He's only asking cuz' he found out that I'm spending time around you and I guess he's worried about impurity."

"We're just friends," Gojo says "Besides who cares if a girl's slept with someone before? I know I wouldn't."

His words feel like glue in his mouth. Can you tell he wants to be more than friends?

"I know that, and you know that. But he must think I'm whoring myself out to you in exchange for a place to live." You say sadly

Gojo can sense that Naoya's words are under your skin and bouncing around in that pretty head of yours. A head that should only be filled with the happiest of thoughts, preferably ones with him in it.

"Hey, forget about him. It's none of his business what company you keep and what you look like." He assures, reaching his arms out to pull you into his side.

"He's technically my fiance y'know." You sigh as you let him reposition your body so your head rests on his chest. "I'm supposed to want to please him since he's a man."

There's that stupid Zenin clan mindset, that Gojo can't stand.

"Screw that! Pleasing someone just cuz they're a guy is so 200 years ago." He says

"Tell me about it." You groan

"I could just send a hollow purple his way if you want." Gojo suggests, fully serious "Just a small one. It would be the perfect way to get rid of him."

"And what? Start a full-on war between two ancient clans over me?" You laugh

"Of course," Gojo confirms, pulling you closer to him

To him, you're worth starting a thousand wars if it means you'll finally let him be by your side all the time.

"By the way, is that a charcoal mask?" You ask

"Yup. Got it from the mall today, gotta stay hot for the single ladies out there."

"Gojo?"

"Yeah?"

"You're a really weird guy."

December 2011 (Gojo: 22 You: 21)

"We have to stay quiet, 'gumi." The girl reminds her little brother

"What's the point? How do we even know they'll like this?" He asked

"Who wouldn't enjoy breakfast in bed?" Tsumiki asked

She had a point.

"Yeah, but Gojo and Zenin don't even sleep in the same room. So are we surprising them separately?" Megumi asked as he poured orange juice into cups, he didn't think he had the balance to make it up the stairs with a tray of food.

"Nope! I checked Gojo's room before I woke you up. They're in his room together. I think she had a nightmare or something last night." Tsumiki says, "And we're not supposed to call her Zenin, remember? She said we could just use her first name."

"Oh, right," Megumi says

The couple? No, friends? Whatever they were, the two individuals that had taken him and his sister in were odd. Megumi was sure that Gojo was insane or maybe missing a piece of his brain. Just the other day Gojo had dangled him out the window for asking why he owned pink underwear as a 22-year-old. It was a genuine question on Megumi's part. As for you, you were definitely his favorite. You didn't try to dangle him out windows or mess up his hair, and most importantly you didn't constantly ask about his cursed technique.

Gojo was definitely the more annoying out of the two of you. How you put up with him was a mystery to Megumi. Tsumiki had once said that there was a "budding romance" between Gojo and You. Megumi thought she was reading too many of those romance books you bought her. Of course, he understood why she was saying that. You and Gojo were clearly close to each other, not to mention sometimes you even slept in each other's bedrooms. And then of course there's the many times when you're cooking and Gojo would wrap his arms around you from behind.

Alright, fine maybe Tsumiki was right about the romance.

"Alright, they're done. What do you think?" Tsumiki asks as she places two plates of something on the tray that sits in front of him.

"What are they?" He asks

"They're pancakes." Tsumiki blinked at Megumi as though it was obvious

"Right, of course." Megumi didn't want to make her angry, after all the last time they got in a fight Tsumiki pulled his hair so hard he swore he was partly bald in that spot for months.

"Ok lets go. You get the silverware and the drinks." She says

Gojo's bedroom is so dark, that Megumi nearly trips on his own feet as he blindly follows his sister.

Tsumiki carefully set the tray of food on the desk that was covered in various papers and candy wrappers. Why was Gojo such a slob? Tsumiki pulls the curtains open so the morning light can invade the space.

Megumi carefully observes the pair in bed. Gojo's arm is wrapped securely around you and your head rests on his chest. Megumi finds himself wondering if his father and mother were ever like this. Not that it matters since he can't even remember either of them.

"Surprise!" Tsumiki shouts and Gojo's eyes fly open

"Whaaats going on?" You ask groggily

"We made breakfast!" Tsumiki smiles placing the tray in front of the two adults.

"I have orange juice." Megumi mumbles

"Oh wow!" You smile, rubbing at your eyes, and immediately sit up.

"What is it?" Gojo asks, white hair messier than usual.

Megumi knew it wasn't obvious that they were pancakes.

"Pancakes of course!" You smile at them and Megumi doesn't miss how you pinch Gojo and whisper "be nice" to the white-haired man.

"They have blueberries in them," Megumi says

Gojo's face falls at the idea of a breakfast lacking sugar.

"And chocolate chips." Tsumiki chimes in

Gojo's face is all smiles again as he cuts into the food.

"How is it?" His sister eagerly asks

"It's wonderful. Delicious. Thank you, Tsumiki and Megumi." You compliment

A wide smile breaks out across his sister's face and she grabs Megumi by the arm.

"Alright, we'll let you two eat in peace then." She smiles, practically skipping out of the room.

Just before Megumi closes the door, hushed voices reach his ears.

"Can I spit this out now? I don't think it's edible." Gojo asks

"I think mine has some eggshell in it." You reply

Hushed laughter follows and Megumi smiles to himself. Sure, the two of you were crazy but he wouldn't trade it for the world.

February 2012 (Gojo: 22 You: 21)

Gojo was sure he was actually insane. What the hell was he thinking buying this for you?

The ruby red box felt like a lead weight in his pocket as he approached you while you were slicing vegetables for tonight's supper. Maybe he shouldn't do this while you had a knife in your hand. What if you stabbed him? Well, his infinity would catch it, but still.

"Can I uh...talk to you?" He asked, well...no going back now

"Yeah, what's up?" You ask

"Can I talk to you without the knife in your hand?" He asks

"Satoru Gojo what did you do?" You accuse, immediately focusing on you

"Nothing! Why do you assume I did something?!" He cries

"Because the last time you started a sentence with "without the knife in your hand" You had encouraged Megumi to fight his school bully and then you got a call that Megumi punched a girl two years younger than him." You say

Oh right. He forgot about that.

"Alright well, no children were harmed this time. Now put the knife down." He said

You listen and he takes a big breath, he's going to need all the oxygen for this one.

"Look it might be stupid and I know Valentine's Day was last week but I got you something and I wanted to give it to you. I've actually had it since December but I keep chickening out" He explained fishing the box out of his pocket

"If that's an engagement ring I'll get the knife back out." You say eying him suspiciously.

"What? No! That would be crazy." Gojo laughs, he can feel his face burning. Fuck...he must be bright red.

"Alright good." You say taking the box

Gojo fidgets with the string that's sticking out of the sleeve of his shirt as you look at what he's done.

"Do you uh like it?" He asked

"I do. Why'd you get it for me?" You ask

Wasn't it obvious? He'd buy the whole universe for you if he could.

"You really don't have any idea?" He asks

"No...I don't." You say

Your face is relaxed, you're definitely not lying to him. You seriously have no idea that he's totally obsessed with you!

"Are you gonna say it? I still have to cut some carrots up." You sigh

Gojo lets out a noise that's so insane sounding he swears he got possessed by some evil spirit.

"I got it cuz' I thought it'd look great on you!" The words are coming out of his mouth like vomit, " And I really uh...uhm...I like you."

The last bit is so quiet he's sure you didn't hear it.

"Wow did I just get a shoujo romance confession from the Satoru Gojo himself?" You tease as his gaze remains fixed on his feet.

"Whatever. If you don't want it I'll take it back tomorrow." He grumbled

Silence falls over the two of you like a blanket and Gojo wishes he could bury himself alive. Of course, she's making fun of you! She's engaged! She's been engaged since she was 15! One necklace won't change that! Sure, her fiance was a total buttwipe but still...

"Satoru,"

His first name coming from your lips for the first time ever has his gaze snapping back up. He wishes that you'd say his name like that forever.

"I'm only teasing you. I like you too. I have for a while." You admit

"How long is a while?" He prods, suddenly filled with confidence

"None of your business, mister. Are you going to help me put this on?" You gesture to the box

Gojo is as gentle as he can be as he clips the necklace behind your neck.

"How do I look?" You ask

"Perfect." He smiles and pulls you towards him.

"I smell, Satoru. I haven't gotten to shower yet and I exrocsied a curse at a school earlier." You softly say

"Mmm, you smell good to me." Gojo says "You're always absolutely perfect. And now you're all mine."

An elated giggle leaves his body as he finally gets to kiss you for the first time. If only his 17-year-old self could see him now.

"That's disgusting."

You jump away from him and he wishes you hadn't.

"Megumi, how was school?" You ask and Gojo doesn't miss the way you're obviously flustered.

"It was good. Until I came home to see that." He says

"Well get used to it cuz' you'll be seeing a lot more of it." Gojo grins as he pulls you towards him and tosses an arm around your shoulders.

"She's all mine now, little man. You're not allowed to give her a Valentine's Day card ever again!"

"Satoru, stop that!"

"So are you two finally dating?" Tsumiki asked hopefully

"Course' we are. You don't come home to two people sucking face and expect them not to be officially a couple."

Gojo deserves the punch to the stomach you give him before resuming your vegetable cutting.

Next Part

Series Masterlist / My Masterlist

[cumtastiics]

I'd totally like a full fic of Aurelius running around his little concussioned, semi-amnesiac patient!

YAN! DOC x G/N READER

tw(s); yandere & mentions of iv's a/n; this has no official title since i'm lazy sorry :p the post that inspired this here oops this became more angsty than i thought if you wanted more fluff erm sorry ab that!! lol!

would def make this fluff if u guys want

"Fuck," he muttered under his breath, rubbing his temple.

Some nurse thought it was a great idea to let you out of your room, almost causing Aurelius to get a heart attack.

"Where's (Y/N)?" He asked the lady at the front desk, his patience leaving.

"They were taken out by that nurse of theirs. The cute guy everyone's been falling in love with," the women spoke, taking a bite out of her granola bar, paying no attention to the others around her.

Aurelius clenched his fists in frustration, his jaw tightening as he fought to contain his anger. "That 'cute guy' needs to learn some boundaries," he muttered, raising an eyebrow at the nonchalant woman. He hesitated for a moment, debating whether to give her a piece of his mind or find you as soon as possible.

Deciding to keep his emotions in check, he forced a strained smile. "Well, thank you for the information," he said, his voice dripping with false politeness. Turning on his heels, Aurelius stormed off in the direction the nurse had taken you.

He couldn't understand how someone could be so irresponsible, oblivious to the potential harm they could cause. All he wanted was to ensure your safety and well-being, and now he had an additional cause for concern.

As he wove through the bustling hospital corridors, his thoughts raced with worry. What if you had been injured or distressed while under the care of the oblivious nurse? The mere thought made his blood boil, making him want to throw up.

Just as he rounded a corner, he caught sight of you standing near a window, seemingly oblivious to the chaos they had caused. Relief washed over Aurelius, briefly suppressing his anger. "There you are," he sighed, his voice filled with a mix of concern and irritation.

"You look mad," you commented, your eyes looking through the window, not paying any attention just like the women from earlier.

"Who brought you out?"

"Some guy. Dunno his name,"

"You're left alone, and not even in a fucking wheelchair for that matter," he spoke, his voice sounding more annoyed as each second passed.

"Sorry..?" You offered, not really wanting to deal with him.

You were finally able to get some fresh air, and you were not going to let him ruin your chance.

'Let's go," he grabbed your arm, making you almost fall over. Aurelius's grip on your arm tightened, his anger boiling over as he yanked you towards him.

"You don't get to just wander off without a care in the world," he growled through clenched teeth. "I'm here to protect you, and if you can't see that, then maybe I shouldn't even bother." His words stung, although you understood his concern.

"I didn't mean to cause you worry," you said, trying to steady your voice. "I just needed a moment to breathe. But I'm fine now."

"Fine? You call this fine?" he scoffed, his grip still firm on your arm. "You could have gotten hurt, kidnapped, who the hell knows what could have happened? And you think it's just fine?"

"I'm not gonna fucking die without you!" You yelled, trying to get out of his grip.

"Yes, yes you will!" Aurelius's voice grew cold, his eyes flashing with a toxic mix of anger and superiority. "You're nothing without me. You're weak, helpless, and if I'm not there to protect you, you'll end up getting yourself killed."

His words tore through you like a knife, the toxicity of his possessiveness becoming unbearable. Anger swelled within you, fueling your determination to stand up for yourself.

"I'm not weak, Aurelius. I can take care of myself. I'm not some fragile little thing that needs to be sheltered from the world," you shot back, your voice laced with a newfound strength. His grip on your arm tightened even more, his face contorting with rage.

"You think you're so tough? You think you can survive out there on your own? You're delusional. You need me, whether you like to admit it or not."

"No, I don't," you replied defiantly, staring him straight in the eyes. "I need someone who respects me, who trusts me, and treats me like an equal. Not someone who thinks they have the right to control my every move."

Aurelius's facade of superiority shattered for a split second, a flicker of vulnerability crossing his face. But it quickly turned back to anger, his toxic traits taking hold once more.

"You're just a fool if you think anyone else could ever care for you like I do," he spat, his voice laced with venom. "But go ahead, try to find someone else. You'll see how quickly they abandon you when things get tough."

You finally got back to your room, after what felt like ages. He glared at you, as you avoided eye contact.

You felt like you were constantly walking on eggshells, never knowing what would set him off next.

[brivinty]

My Whore ★

Featuring; Kozume Kenma x reader (female)

|Smut, Slight degradation, fingering, Nicknames like: Pretty, Whore, My bitch.|

--

"Kenma, will you please help with the project?!" Y/n groaned looking at the boy who was on his console instead of paying attention to their assignment. "In a minute, stop acting like a bitch." Kenma said making y/n groan annoyed. Y/n was unfazed by the derogatory term used towards her because being friends with Kenma, meant getting called a "Bitch" daily. "No, not in a minute, it's due tomorrow and you haven't helped one-bit Kenma, can you just get your lazy ass up for two seconds??" Y/n exclaimed throwing her notebook on his counter. "Didn't I say in a minute, jeez! give me a second." Kenma said not even sparing her a glance.

"Your so damn lazy ken, I wouldn't be surprised if you couldn't last a round of sex." Y/n said laughing to herself. Though clearly, that statement was funny to the Blonde. "Oh! I bet you'd make the girl do all the-" Y/n stopped her sentence seeing Kenma take his headset off and put his controller down. "What?" Y/n asked a little nervous looking at the back of the boy's head. "You think I couldn't last a round? I bet any girl I'd fuck would pass out from exhaustion because I'm that good." Kenma said turning and then leaning back in his chair, pushing his hair away from his face. "Yeah, sure." "Whatever helps you sleep at night ken," Y/n said before turning around and getting back to the project. "What you think I couldn't fuck a girl that good?" Kenma asked, sliding his chair over to where you were to help with the project, which he thought was unnecessary.

"I mean, you're just like... skinny looking, lazy, and weak looking??" "I Dunno ken, I just wouldn't see you fucking a girl silly like that," Y/n said looking at him in the eyes with a teasing smile. "Then I bet I could fuck you silly," Kenma said leaning back into the chair. Y/n's eyes went wide, eyeing his cocky state. "No way, come on ken, we have a project to finish," Y/n said letting out a sigh to cool down the heat that went to her face. "See, you're chickening out because you know I would fuck you up." He said before taking the pencil and paper out of your hands. "I am not!" You were quick to exclaim. "You sure? Because it definitely looks like you're chickening out~!" Kenma teased making y/n groan in annoyance. "Ok fine! If you can successfully 'Fuck me silly' which you won't. I'll finish your half of the project." Y/n said. "And if I somehow don't manage to fuck you silly, which I will definitely succeed in, I'll finish my half."

"And you'll have to let me play on your console."

"No."

"Yes."

"Fuck you."

--

You were confused as to why he was just looking at you, he seemed dazed and out of it. "What? You too pussy to do it?" You asked looking at him with a smirk. "No, I'm just thinking of how pathetic your gonna look under me soon," Kenma said before grabbing your hips and taking you up from the chair, sitting you onto his lap. "Mm sure, i hope you have fun finishing your half of th-" You were cut off by the blonde smashing his lips onto yours. You fought back, putting up a fight until you felt his hand travel up from your waist to your throat, wrapping his hand around it. He roughly pulled you away from the kiss looking at you with a lustful gaze that made you want to look away in embarrassment. You felt like he was the predator, and you were his prey. "I'm gonna fuck you so hard, you'll forget your damn name." "All you'll remember is how to scream mine," Kenma said not giving you a chance to reply by pulling you into another rough, sloppy kiss.

You felt him lift you up from the chair, tossing you onto the bed. You watched as he crawled onto the bed, and as of instinct, you crawled backward trying to move to the backboard. Once he had you trapped he took off his tee shirt throwing it somewhere onto the floor. He smirked watching you practically eye fuck him ogling over his toned abs on his stomach. "What? I thought I was pretty skinny?" He said before leaning down towards your neck. "Well, I guess... I was wrong be.. because you clearly.." You struggled to form a sentence feeling him suck on your neck. You tried to push back a moan by biting your lip but he clearly noticed your efforts and decided to bring a hand underneath your shirt.

"What you cold or is that me?" He teased brushing a finger over your hardened nipples. "F-fuck off." You cursed but instantly regretted it when he lifted up your shirt completely then clamped his lips onto your sensitive bud. You watched as he sucked on one and kneaded the other with his hand. "K-ken.." You sighed out of pleasure, feeling him smirk on your chest. He then started trailing love kisses down from your chest to your stomach. he then pulled down your loose shorts smirking when he saw the damp spot on your cotton undergarment.

"Awh, did me sucking all over you make you wet?" He teased. "Oh shut up!" You yelled turning your head the opposite way. You felt a moan rip from your throat when his knuckle found its way onto your clothed clit. "Wow, loud for me already pretty?" He said making you pussy throb at the nickname. But instead, you rolled your eyes ignoring him. He then continued his happy trail of kisses, kissing the inner part of your thighs. You could feel your breath getting rigid and heavy watching him kiss your inner thighs so close to your cunt. "D-don't tease.." You muttered quietly to avoid your embarrassment. "What was that?" He asked, looking up at you from his position. "Don't tease..." You said louder making him smile teasingly. "Beg." He told you making your eyes widen. "I'm not begging for it! I'm not desperate." You quickly said.

"Then stop complaining and shut the fuck up." He said continuing where he left off. You felt your breathing getting even heavier waiting for him to do anything but leave kiss marks upon your body. At that point you couldn't take it anymore and gave in. "P-Please.. Please stop teasing and just fuck me Ken, I really want it." You said and watched as his smile grew wide. "How bad do you want it pretty?" He asked hooking a finger on your panties. "Really bad, real, real bad." You said finally losing the pride in yourself to get what you want. "Good girl.." He said before pulling your panties off and pushing your thighs towards your stomach. "Thanks for the meal." He said before diving into your cunt.

"f-Fuck!" You yelped already feeling pleasure. You watched as he licked and sucked your clit all while looking deep into your eyes. Too lost in your daze you didn't even see him insert a finger into your sopping cunt. "Kenma! Shit!" You exclaimed. You were always aware he had long fingers due to playing his video games and volleyball, you just didn't expect them to reach as deep as they were. You moaned and yelped calling out his name. And with the sound of a pop he removed his mouth from your wet pussy and up to your lips engaging you in a wet kiss.

Seconds later you felt your legs start to shake and writhe and Kenma didn't stop his movement continuing to ram his fingers into your cunt. "Fuck! Fuck! K-Ken! Kenma! i g-get it! Yes! you can fuck i get it m'sorry! sorry! sorry!" You yelped and he didn't stop one bit watching you scream and cry. He smiled watching the tears in your eyes form from overstimulation. "Sorry won't save you now my love." "Your basically my bitch now aren't you? My little whore."

[my-life-is-falling-apart]

I'm guilty as charged for leading you on a lie that I know is easy to see

In which Grian believes his friends would hate him if they knew he was a Watcher.

In this fic everyone knows about The Watchers, but to everyone but Grian (because he knows more about them) their just god-like entities who make them do murder games

Title from Fine, great by Modern Baseball

Takes place after session 4, before session 5 (Wild Life)

AO3 version

Grian had stayed in the server after the others left, and was about to leave when he tripped over something but he caught himself before he fell.

"That was close...huh?!" Small wings covered his eyes, he felt feathers tickling his ears. Oh no. No no no! Grian tried peel the wings away from his eyes but they wouldn't budge.

He sighed before giving up and opening his new eyes that appeared on his wings. With the eye above his hair he looked at his wings, once bright and colorful were now a purple and black shade.

"That was a pathetic attempt." Grian turned towards the voice."You?! Of all you guys it could be..." He said annoyedly. "I wouldn't talk to me like that if I were you." The Watcher said. Grian rolled his eyes, "What do you want? I'm kinda busy right now."

The Watcher sighed "Busy with what? Because look we'll forgive you running away if you just join us again already!" He glared at them, "Yeah that's a hard no. I'm busy because I'm going to my friends soon." They laughed at him.

"What" Grian said getting more annoyed. "You really think those mortals are your friends Oh please, tell me you don't actually believe that?!" They said with a cruel laugh. Grian sighed "Just shut up and go away!"

"Look I'm not here to fight, I'm here to make you see reason." The Watcher said. You, reason?! Ha! The Watcher's are the opposite of reason. He didn't dare to say it out loud though, because that would end badly and sometimes he knows when to shut up. "And just how are you gonna do that oh great one" he said sarcastically.

"Watch your tone!" They jabbed a wing at Grian, who jumped back with a glare. The Watcher toke a deep breath "Do you honestly think they'd still be friends with you if they, I dunno, found out you're a Watcher?" Grian froze "..." "That's what I thought." They said.

"They- they would! Because unlike you guys, they actually care about others and actually like me for who I am!" He shouted.

The Watcher sighed "That's exactly why they'd hate you. They care to much about each other to ever like you, so save yourself from that inevitable betrayal and just join." Grian shook his head "NO! JUST GO AWAY!" They glared at him.

"If you're sooooo convinced being a mortal is better, then you'll suffer the consequences." He backed away slowly "So can I just lea- AAAA!" The Watcher gave him a harsh shove, making him fall over.

Grian stumbled backwards, his extra eyes and wings disappearing, and fell. He sat up "You have got to be kidding me. YOU COULD'VE HAVE JUST OH I DON'T KNOW LET ME LEAVE!?"

He shouted in a random direction. Grian sighed quietly They have a point...Not that I would join them but they probably right that the others would hate me if the knew about... this.

Which is why it's a secret. No one has to know and everything will be fine.

[sleeplesswixard]

Dutch x gn!Reader (romantic)

Type: Headcanons, romantic, gender-neutral reader

Warnings: Mentions of smoking and alcohol

Note: None!

Song: Rule #34 - Fish İn a Birdcage

"I'm afraid ya'll been barkin up to the wrong tree, so to speak!"

——————————————————————

He's really gentle and kind with you, unlike being smug and annoying to Basile when he's around.

He likes to pamper you, he buys you really expensive clothes, some of them are spesifically red or yellow so you can match.

He brought you a silver ring with a ruby placed on it, or a diamond i dunno.

He's rich, use it for your own good.

You guys absolutely had shows before.

He gives great hugs! İf your tall enough to reach him.

He also abso-freaking-lutely painted a picture of you before.

You guys do art together!!!

İt doesn't matter if you're not good at it, having fun with you is enough for hım.

While you we're panting on the canvas next to him, he was too busy watching you and he accidently mistook the paint water as his drink and drank it.

Bro basically drank bunch of paint particals.

"Dutch... Dutch that's not coffe.."

"Hm? What do you mean- Oh jesus-" *COUGHCOUGH*

Nose and cheek kisses are his favorite!!!

You sometimes kiss him from his scar. (İ dunno if it really counts cheek or nose but you get me)

And he loves it.

And you love when his hand is on small of your back when you two greeting someone or you need encouragement.

He's uses pet names more than your name. "Darlin', sugar, sweetheart" and such.

Links your arm with his while walking.

Dancing with slow jazz on background.

He really loves dancing with you with slow jazz on background. (İ have a small obsession with Dutch and Aris liking jazz i dunno why please help me)

He's such a gentleman.

He's a bit jealous, he won't be pleased to hear or see another person hitting on you, ESPECİALLY NOT in front of him.

But nah he'll most likely just shoo away the person or make a backhanded comment to them.

He never told you about his criminal side of his carrier.

You either and most likely don't know it yet or you found it yourself.

He just doesn't wants you to be in danger or get scared of him.

İf you smoke or drink like him, he buys you the good-quality ones, most likely the same ones that he uses.

İf you don't and you don't like things like that he won't smoke or drink in front of you.

He also tries to quit smoking just for you. And it already works a little, since you don't see him buying or smoking cigars as much as he used to before.

His mane(i think it's called that?) is so freaking soft it hurts.

While you're laying next to him your hand just instictively reaches out to his mane. He doesn't mind it, he'll just continue whatever he's doing.

He loves it when you're laying your head on his chest. His hand automatically reaches to pat your head everytime.

He takes you on dates and really fancy places the second he gets an opportunity to.

You can take your time while you get ready, he'll wait for you. Doesn't matter if it'll take you forever, he's patient.

Basile's both surprized and impressed by how you don't get annoyed when Dutch is around.

He can always tell when something is off with you. Like i said, he's patient, he won't force you to tell if you don't want to or if you're not ready.

He'll give you some time, hoping you'll feel at least a little better enough to say what's wrong.

İf any of his customers will make you uncomfortable or mess up with you, the last place you're going to see them is going to be the other side of the Hotel's door.

He doesn't have that "Customer is always right" crap. İf they're asked for it he'll gladly recieve it to them.

He doesn't minds problematic customers when they're messing with him, but he won't tolerate it if it comes to his workers and ESPECİALLY you.

——————————————————————

Shhh.... @theghostinthestudio *hands you the headcanons*

Greetings and salutations! Thank you for reading my headcanons! (⁠≧⁠▽⁠≦⁠)

İ'm sorry if i have any grammar or spelling mistakes, English is not my first language!

See you soon, adventurers.(⁠人⁠ ⁠•͈⁠ᴗ⁠•͈⁠)

[dundeey-art]

Had no thoughts about prowl. the majority of the fandom thinks he's an asshole and they either hate him for it or love him for it.

So I read the entire wreckers saga for Verity initially, but you know what? Prowl really stood out to me. I wanted to see more of him, so I read the issues he was in and I truly don't understand where the whole "prowl is an asshole" came from, yes he does some bad stuff (so does everyone else) but i interpreted this as a means to an end.. i think he's always thinking about the future and the end of the war, and his actions reflect that. I'm pretty sure he even mentioned that he "has to make tough decisions for a better tomorrow" but don't quote me on that

I think trying to moralize anyone in the IDW comics is a bad idea LOL, love them as they are (￣ー￣)ｂ

I find it really interesting how prowl is like.. public enemy #1 in the fandom when there are others who are worse and get so much love. LIKE RODIMUS OH MY GOD DO NOT EVEN GET ME STARTED. He annoyed me so much while reading MTMTE. Seriously, the way everyone babygirl-ifies him and never talks about his wrongs, you'd swear rodimus is a pretty decent guy. He's infuriating, painfully immature, and egotistical, and those traits get people killed. Like at some point, he ignores advice from ultra magnus because he's petty, and it ends up a disaster... I'm not even gonna touch on his horrible friendship with drift.

I dunno how this turned into a rodimus rant (；ω；) BUT ANYWAY!! prowl is pretty incredible, and i didn't know for such a long time because of the fandom's mischaracterization of him.

— dream (*＾3＾)/～☆

holy fucking based...

YOU HIT THE NAIL ON THE HEAD!!!

indeed, if you just read the material, you'll see that prowl is wildly misinterpreted and exaggerated by the fandom. personally i like rodimus, but what you said is true. almost every character in IDW has committed terrible crimes, but those get excused or overlooked way more than prowl's do. prowl supposedly being the biggest war criminal in the story is a joke that gets boring really quickly.

its most likely about more than just his actions, though. i think prowl's personality puts people off. like hes a bit too unfriendly, not cute or quirky enough. but i like prowl, he's one of the few i can actually tolerate. but i guess thats just not the popular opinion. really, though, i think people that genuinely think prowl is an asshole are annoying. we probably wouldnt get along irl.

personality aside, i genuinely think prowl is an incredibly admirable character. he's like the anti-hero to me. it's clearly shown in his actions and motivations. far from the antagonist that some people claim he is.

im so glad you read it for yourself to come to your own conclusion and gained all this insight! thank you for sharing!!

[starlight-lesbians]

okay so this sort offfff counts as a dialogue prompt but this post

https://www.tumblr.com/whatthehellami/734319377214767104/artwork-is-not-mine

for greasedinah! gb is obviously the angry one

You're Killing Me

a/n: greasey's cuteness aggression, basically

synopsis; greaseball is acting all frustrated, and dinah can't figure out why!

sfw, no warnings

Dinah was messing with her head. Greaseball had been irritated for hours, and her girlfriend was only making it worse. She couldn't really be mad at her for it though, it wasn't like it was on purpose. Dinah was just so cute, and it was getting to be too much for her, made her want to punch a pillow.

Technically she had things to do around the shed today, but she found herself stuck in place watching a focused Dinah experiment in the kitchen. The way her nose scrunched up when she was thinking was so frustratingly adorable, and she'd been unable to get it off her mind whenever she tried to think.

"What's got you in a mood today? You look tense..." Shit, Greaseball was hoping flying under the radar would be possible here.

"I'm..fine babe, just distracted" Dinah tilted her head curiously, Starlight she was cute..and made her way over to the couch.

"I don't believe you, you look mad." She pointed out bluntly, tapping Greaseball on the nose. "You sure you don't need anything? I can make some food or something..." Well, shit, nothing ever got past a worried Dinah, she noticed anything and everything, especially when you didn't want her to.

"It's stupid...like so stupid I don't want to tell you because you'll laugh, and you would be so justified in laughing." Greaseball put her face in her hands, trying to hide the redness popping up on her face with an angry expression that didn't quite hold.

Dinah sighed in exasperation, "What could possibly be that dumb? If it's upsetting you, it matters, we've talked about this..."

While Greaseball really appreciated Dinah trying to validate her feelings, that was unfortunately again making the weird urge to squeeze her so tight she popped way more powerful, What was this..?

"Dinah, baby, I'm fine, just in a mood is all." She huffed, still not looking at the coach in front of her to hide her blush as much as possible.

"Honey, your face is bright red...what's going on with you?" Dinah paused, a small giggle escaping her, "Wait a sec...are you just flustered? Did I do that?" She grinned mischievously, big doe eyes locking onto Greaseball's.

"N-no! I don't get...flustered." Greaseball rolled her eyes at the word, "I just told you, I'm in a bad mood, that's it!"

Dinah rolled her eyes, moving to straddle her lap, "You sure? Because from where I'm sitting, you wanna kiss me soooo bad." She pulled Greaseball in by the back of her neck, just barely not kissing her yet.

Greaseball groaned in frustration, pulling Dinah in the rest of the way, "Starlight, babe, not my fault you're so damn cute all the time." She barely broke the kiss to speak before dragging her back in again.

"What was so cute that it had you in a mood like this?" Dinah almost preened, sitting victoriously on her girlfriend's lap, "I need to know so I can do it more."

"Ugh, it's just you, babe. You're just there and you're adorable and I wanna squeeze you so hard you explode, I dunno." Greaseball shrugged, flicking Dinah on the nose

"Hey! Behave yourself!" Dinah giggled, barely able to fake annoyance, "You're cute too y'know, not sure why your response to me being cute is choosing violence though."

"Couldn't tell ya, but I guess it worked out, because now I have you here, and I can be as annoying as I like because you're stuck." She locked her arms around Dinah's waist and started kissing all over her face, "See what you do to me? I get all stupid about you, woman"

Through giggles, Dinah managed to press a kiss to Greaseball's nose, "If you haven't noticed, I'm pretty stupid about you too, so I'd say we're even."

anyways...this was silly

hope you like! and as always requests are open!!

[mystery--mist]

Ok, first at all, thanks a lot @hypnoticmoth for considering tag me ♥ People don't usually tag me in... anything in general XD So it makes me happy when they want to include me X) heh~♥

No wednesday but I have a lot of WIPs, justly myself cause... busy with a lot of things :") I'll try to post from the oldest to newest. Surely I will redraw the most of the WIPs

Previous Tag!

I tag before showing my WIPs cause I don't want to disturb peeps with my pics :")

Dunno who tag honestly, I usually tag friends and mutuals cause a lil trust but I don't think I have a lot of mutuals here... uuuhh let's see...

Don't feel forced to do it anyway! >o<

Tagging: @dimneo1010 you bitch, I mention you cause I want to annoy you :3 ♥

@smthaboutusss we are mutuals :"3c but I hope you don't mind ♥

@strawberry-aliik you mutual :"D ♥

And feel free to join, random peep ♥

Beware, there's some suggestive pics below :")

Valentino and OhMamaWho-

That's... the second time I drew Valentino (?) This is from 24th April. Only erotic, no explicit. And nope, that's not Angel nor an Oc :") Guess who

When I finish you'll see heh

The 2 Alastor Haters

An attempt to draw an icon of my 2 top husbands together who don't get along with Alastor :"D It was my first time drawing Vox and Lucifer :")

Vel and Vox

Teaming up both because they kick doors with style. Actually Valentino would be in the background just vibing lol

Vox and Morgana

Ah yeah, that's my Hazbin Oc intimating with Vox :") It meant to be erotic/suggestive but not explicit, they are not naked actually XD

VoxVal Doodle

Cause yeah StaticMoth X) I was even drawing Val with more insect legs here

Human Valentino Concept Design

I was trying to design my own version of a young human Valentino when he was an Art student college. Some of my inspirations were Joel (Valentino VA), Freddie Mercury and Elvis Presley. The girl next to him meant to be the human version of his real lover when he was alive. All that from the AU with Dim,

Kinsona / Veesona

Yeah my Kisona with Valentino XD I didn't finish the design aaaah-

Sad Vox

I hated so much how I used to draw Vox (like really, he looked ugly ;-;) that I didn't even want to draw his face. So I didn't finish this one. Surely I'll redraw it better.

VoxVal Doodles

It meant to be a whole canvas about VoxVal and there I even designed my fankid Vanexa :") Need to continue ona day and render some doodles. And finish Vanexa design too eeek...

The Real NSFW (Censured)

We don't talk about my Shark Vox and my first RadioStatic NSFW ^w^ Keep scrolling down

VoxVal Portrait Family

My most recent and last WIP I think. This was for the Hellaverse Kid Week but I didn't have the time to finish it. I only have to render with lighting and a background but I am full unmotivated now for that :") I mean the background ugh...

Ok that's all, actually I have some more WIPs but I think this is enough. I am a big mess for unfinish drawings :") Sorry

[phyrestartr]

Deal With It | Gojo Satoru x M!Reader (TEASER)

CW: Arranged marriage, SELF-HARM (on and off-screen), hurt/comfort, angst, drama, self-loathing, blood and gore, implied depression, suicidal thoughts, suicidal ideation #NSFW, probably top Gojo, probably bottom reader, maybe switch idk, idek if they'll bang it out tbh lol, angst with a happy ending, reader is a sorcerer, time skips, time progression, relationship development, student era into teacher era Note: I got this request to make a story revolving around Gojo and an arranged marriage to the reader (but bro is in love with Getou sob.gif), and I've been RUMINATING on it for forever. I think I finally have a good idea of who the reader is/what their chemistry is like with Gojo, so I'm happy to post a wee bit of a teaser to motivate myself! Let me know your thoughts---I'm finding that I absolutely love writing for Gojo, so I'm down to write more LOL. He's a very fun, complex character.

Deal With It

“So, you really don’t care what he thinks?” Shoko asked as you lit her cigarette. “Even I think he was kinda harsh.”

You pocketed your lighter and leaned back against the cold stone of the college walls. “He’s got a thing for that black-haired guy.”

“Getou.” 

“Sure.” You shrugged and tried to rub the ache out of your neck as you stared up at the bleak, grey skies. The air reeked of petrichor. Thankfully you’d brought an umbrella that day. 

“And you’re not bothered he’s in love with Getou?” Your friend continued, her cute bobbed haircut swaying with the tilt of her head. She always looked so charming like that, when she was being a mischievous brat while pretending to be anything but. 

“Dunno.” And that was the truth. “He’s not even my type. I’d rather hitch up with someone like you or Nanami. Someone less annoying. Less loud-mouthed.” 

“Ooh, that'll hurt his ego.” Shoko smiled. “Well, guess you'll have to learn to deal with it.”

You took a deep breath and rubbed your face as you nodded. “Yeah.”

–

“Forever is a long time,” You mumbled, leaning your forehead against the cool touch of the window. Rain pittered and pattered, exploding off the glass like trillions of kamikaze planes. It almost birthed some sort of hurt in your chest. Best not to dwell on it, you decided.

“Hah? Are you talking to yourself again like a weirdo?” The one and only Gojo Satoru yowled before kicking you in the rear like a petulant child. “Pft! Figures. Knowing my luck, I would have to get married to a creeper.” 

“Even if you married Getou, you'd still be marrying a creep,” you grumbled, dusting the dirt off your behind. “You need something? Or did you harass me just for the fun of it.” 

You heard Gojo, your fiancé, scoff and shuffle behind you. “I just wanted to remind you to humble yourself! Just because I'm forced to marry you doesn't mean you're accomplished or cool or anything, got it?” 

Being in his presence had you craving a cigarette. “Yeah, got it.” 

“And Suguru's better than you,” he added, aloof voice bowing down beneath hardened, steeled words. “Don't forget that either.” 

You bit down on your cheek to ward away the heat building under your skin, the magma sinking deep into your eyesockets and threatening to pour down your esophagus. The taste of iron washed against your tongue, and you released your flesh from between your molars. Sometimes, you wanted to keep boring down on yourself to see how much you could really take, but a fear of the answer too often made you think twice. 

“This is starting to bore me,” you said, tilting your head as you caught a flicker of red in your rain-muddied reflection. You touched your fingers to your tongue and found translucent red coating the tips. 

“Pah. I was gonna say the same!” You watched his reflection turn away. “Good luck trying to impress me.” 

I'm not interested. You watched him walk away, slouching and with his hands in his pockets like he was emulating some kind of yankii character. He might have fit the bill, if he hadn't had such a ridiculous, brat side to him. Just deal with it. You wiped the red on your uniform with a sigh. Tomorrow's a new day.

--

Feel free to comment on this post if you want to be tagged for the full version!

@kamote-kuneho @tr4nnie @silvern1006

[zivazivc]

Yesterday I watched Help! I'm A Fish and I had a good time! Chuck's seriousness and Fly's upbeat attitude made me think of Eddy M and Ravin respectively.

That movie is SO bizarre. I showed it to a friend a couple of weeks ago, so I watched it twice now, and we both kept screaming at all the emotional whiplash scenes jfksjhfdjh

I think I see what you mean about Eddy M and Ravin being like Chuck and Fly. Especially in the context of your headcanon where they had a rough childhood. They're not much like those characters in my version though.

Eddy M is a rude moody teen who is very matter-of-fact and headstrong - he's a 13-year-old who thinks he knows everything, and he will let you know that with sassy remarks and comebacks.

Ravin is definitely upbeat and more positive but I wouldn't call her Eddy's opposite because she is equally a smartass. She is just very jokey, self-aware nerd face emoji about it. She'll go "errrrmm, ACTually ☝" whenever she thinks she's right about something or when she just wants to annoy you. That's a good descriptor actually; instead of being rude the normal teenage way like Eddy, she is annoying - intentionally. It's a bit and she fully commits.

Dunno how to better describe them lol

Since I know you'll appreciate, I'm sharing a small chunk of my "Floyd runs into the techno troll and their kids" wip under the cut. It's been sitting and collecting dust for a while now because I have no idea how to finish it, but you can get a bit of an idea of what I imagine these two kids being like:

(for context, Floyd is helping Bruce at the bar and guess who happens to visit? And Floyd goes to take an order from them because he is a dumbass and needs too long to realize who he's talking to... The techno troll and Floyd have a private talk, it goes poorly and the techno troll lets him know that he doesn't want him to meet the kids or let them know who he is, and then Floyd hides behind the bar going full blown emo mode... (Also this is an unfinished draft so there might be some klunky parts, idk, I don't feel like editing it rn but I'm also very self conscious about my writing in general so I need to point this out 😬))

. . .

Floyd felt an intense misery wash over him. He really was a fuck up.

He stared at his feet for who knows how long (Maybe he had begun to dissociate?) when the faint sound of light feet stopping nearby made him look up.

Couldn’t this family gathering end already???

He nearly choked on his saliva while standing up in a desperate attempt to find something to busy himself with and not deal with this.

“Uh, h-hi, random kids I don’t know.”

He gave up at the sight of the empty sink with nothing to wash, and carefully looked at the two kids like they were going to bite him from any sudden movements. He probably shouldn’t stare too hard but that was what he ended up doing while taking in their appearance.

“How dumb do you think we are?” the boy—Edwin said with the distinct attitude and mannerism of a brash teen.

“From one to ten,” Ravin added quickly after and much more cheerily, while she pulled a small journal from her hair. She clicked her gel pen and pressed it against the paper in preparation. “Be honest.”

Floyd was a bit dumbfounded to be honest. “... What?” He straightened a little where he was still leaning against the sink and not facing them fully.

“Is on the slower side…” Ravin said out loud while scribbling the words down.

“We have to do this fast,” Edwin explained impatiently and with uncanny matter-of-fact-ness. “Dads think we went to the bathroom.”

“Uh… Do what fast?”

Ravin spoke up while staring at her journal: “How would you describe yourself?”

“What’s your favorite song?” asked Edwin.

"Would you say your hair is white and pink or white and red? And since when is it white? Dad never mentioned that."

“Do you think the words ‘drug addict hobo’ accurately describe you?”

“What’s better, hardcore or emo?”

“I told you it’s not emo!”

"Do you have any health history we should be aware of?" 

“If you were a bug, what type of bug would you be?

"Do we have any other siblings?" 

Floyd’s eyes grew wide from the onslaught of questions. “Whoa, whoa, slow down!” Then reluctantly he added “One at a time, please.” without even realizing he invited them into a conversation.

Edwin looked at his sister. “What was the first one?”

“How would you describe yourself? Three words.”

Floyd didn’t like the first question.

He should probably try thinking of positives…

“Uh…”

“Uhm…”

Panic.

“I’m a good singer. Well, I used to be…”

“That’s your personality?" Edwin deadpanned. "Singing?”

“I’ll just write down: bad self-image, bad under pressure, bad at understanding questions.”

"Those aren't personality traits either, sis."

"Fine! Unconfident, anti-equanimous, intelligently-impaired. There."

"Next question?"

“What’s your favorite song?”

Floyd's mouth was hanging open. He was pretty sure he just got called an insecure some-big-word idiot.

"Hello? We have a time limit. What's your favorite song?" 

“...T-That’s a hard question," he fumbled for words, "there’s so many songs, it would be impossible to choose.”

Ravin looked into her notepad with a sigh and jotted down: “Indecisive. Gives flakey vibes.”

Floyd didn’t know how to respond to that either. Would it be weird if he got upset? Because he was definitely offended. But then again maybe he deserved this. Like some kind of delayed karma.

“If you were a bug, what type of bug would you be?”

Floyd thought about it, trying to come up with some type of direct answer at least for this question. “Hmm… A grig, maybe?”

Edwin made a face. “What the heck is a grig?”

Ravin seemed to have an idea. She wrote down: “An old soul. Depressed.”

“That’s the opposite of a grig!”

“Have you heard of reverse self-awareness?”

“No…?”

“Probably ‘cause I just made it up. But the term kinda suits you." She scratched her scalp with the dull end of her pen."I think?”

Floyd, still feeling absolutely lost in the whole situation, continued to stare mutely.

Edwin was watching him judgingly. "You think there's any awareness there at all?"

Ravin gave a vague hum before getting back on track. "What do you do for a living?" 

"Rae, don't waste our time with stupid questions. It's obvious what he does."

Maybe, Floyd thought, he could finally impress them with something. "I'm a musician, actually."

"Yeah okay, music boy." Edwin replied without missing a beat. "Is the apron a new fashion accessory I don't know about?" 

Floyd’s mouth hung open (if it ever even stopped hanging). These kids were savage…

[aerodaltonimperial]

(crack treated seriously, inspired by a convo with @homoeroticgrappling. jack, darby, concussion protocols, and chipotle.)

"Just pick what you want on—"

"I'm deliberating."

"You are stalling, just pick one—"

"I don't know what I want, there's just so many options here."

"It's a Chipotle, Darby. They are literally everywhere. Just—"

"I just can't decide, I don't—"

"Do you want carnitas or beef on your fucking burrito, Darby?"

"Jack, has anyone ever told you that, like, first, you suck, and that second, you have no patience?"

"Jesus Christ, I cannot believe I am stuck doing this. Fuckin' concussion protocols that you keep ducking out of it, and I just won Anarchy in the Arena? I should be getting accolades. Instead, I'm being punished."

"You hit me with a bus, it's your job to make sure I don't scramble my brain by falling asleep."

"That is so not what this is about."

"No, you're right, I think it was the kicks to the face thing, but our satanic EVPs didn't want to do it, so they farmed it out to their new bitch boy."

"Pick a fucking meat, Darby."

"Beef."

"Hey, do you have any rat poison back there? He'd like a generous scooping."

"Fuck off, Jack, he makes, like, minimum wage."

"Could you please hurry up, this is the longest Chipotle run of my life."

"It's 1 AM and there's no one else here, it doesn't even matter."

"I'm literally losing brain cells waiting for you to decide—Jesus, Darby, pick some fucking vegetables, oh my god."

"That implies you had brain cells."

"I think you being this annoying means you don't have a concussion and I can leave."

"Nope, rules say you gotta stay and wait for an hour to make sure I don't fall asleep."

"You're not gonna fall asleep here."

"You sincerely doubt my spite, Jack. I'll sleep in that fucking guacamole just to fuck you over."

"Hopefully that's after he finishes putting it on your burrito."

"Oh, you gotta pay, too."

"What the fuck."

"Just pull out one of those fancy Elite credit cards I know you got shoved in your defiant jeans, man."

"Uuuuuugh, fine, move. Move."

"Dude, I said to use the Elite card, not your—"

"Shut up, and take your fucking drink cup, Darby."

"...I didn't ask for a drink."

"I'm gonna shove you in the queso."

"Fine, fine, god. You're so fucking grouchy. It's all that time with those douchebags, y'know. Are you gonna sit like three tables away, or you wanna sit down next to me and—oh, across, nice, we can play footsie."

"How long is it gonna take you to eat this?"

"Why, you got some kinda hot date waiting for you, Jack? Hope they like their midnight snacks flame-broiled."

"Ha, ha. You think your nose is broken again?"

"Does it look like it is?"

"I dunno, your whole face looks like shit."

"Wow, charmer."

"I didn't say it usually does, god. ... don't do that. Don't do that thing with your face, and that expression, do not—"

"So you think my face looks nice normally?"

"You're literally just putting words in my mouth right now. I absolutely did not say that."

"I mean, you kinda implied it."

"I did not, I'm tired, and I was set on fire today, so if anything, the only thing I implied was how much I hate you."

"Don't even fuckin' lie, you had so much fun."

"That's... not the point."

"Jaaaaaaack."

"Shut the fuck up."

"Here, eat some. I got you a spoon."

"I don't... yeah, okay, fine."

"Just save enough space for all that fancy room service you'll be ordering later. Champagne, and strawberries, and—"

"Yeah, i will not be doing that."

"Date unimpressed with bitch food?"

"I don't have a date."

"But Jack. You just won Anarchy in the Arena, remember? The accolades!"

"I am sincerely going to shove you broken nose first into your burrito."

"My face that you implied sometimes looks nice?"

"I did not!"

"No, but you are laughing."

"What does that have to do with anything?"

"Can't recall seeing you laugh since you've been back is all."

"... well, I guess there hasn't been much to laugh about. You know, with all the bullshit. And there was being on fire earlier, if you'll recall."

"Sounds hot."

"...god dammit."

"There you go again, fightin' it. Why're you fightin' it, Jack?"

"Why are you eating so slow?"

"Maybe I just wanna make it last longer."

"You know, we tried to kill each other earlier."

"Didn't succeed, though, so... whomp whomp. Guess we'll have to find somethin' else to do."

"Like eat Chipotle at 1 AM in Vegas?"

"... yeah. Like that. Or, y'know... you got a bed in the back of that bus?"

"What exactly are you implying here, Darby?"

"I dunno, you're the one playing footsie with me under the table. Good way to make sure I don't fall asleep, huh?"

"We have hotel rooms. We don't need the bus."

"Eh, not nearly as sexy, is it?"

"Boy, you're a cheap date."

"So you admit this was a date."

"Darby, this was a concussion protocol."

"Honestly, they seem like the same thing to me."

"You gonna bring your flamethrower?"

"Don't threaten me with a good time, Jack. And no. They kept it at the arena. Bitches."

"Are you done now?"

"You gonna take me home?"

"Sure, I'll walk you down the strip."

"Dirty."

"Fuck off."

"Guess we'll see how well the walk goes, huh? ... you're laughing again."

"I'm not, I don't even know how to laugh anymore."

"Hey, can you get cash out of an ATM from that Elite credit card? Let's go hit the casinos."

"Why, you feeling lucky?"

"Y'know, I kind of am."

[roserysttrpggarden]

PETA tried to make D&D subclasses and I critique them

Hi there

So, this wasn't a post I anticipated making but just this week PETA (People for the "ethical" treatment of animals) put out three subclasses for 5th-edition (with two accompanying magic items and spells) and cause I have nothing better to do, I wanted to critique (And laugh at) them in a overly long blog post, without further ado, let's start with the first of the three subclasses: The Circle of Empathy Druid

First off, the theme of this subclass is already funny cause druids whole thing is taking to animals but i'll let it slide for now

As for the class features, the circle spells are really good since they get both conjure animals and conjure woodland beings on the same spell list. It's a bit odd that they get three second level spells, but as you'll see later I doubt they payed much attention to 5e subclass formatting. Empathy connection is a really funny feature because not only did the designer forget to give an action trigger (Notice how there's no line that mentions using an action, bonus action or anything to use it) and based on how the text is written its implied you can only use the ability upon gaining your subclass, the other funny thing is that by rules as written, you can establish the connection between a humanoid and say, a rat, then dunk the rat in boiling water, or break its legs, and the humanoid will feel the rats pain, so you can effectively torture someone by torturing an animal. Does that completely go against the subclass's theme? Yes, is it funny that you can do that? Also yes!

Persuasive Resonance is a lot of fluff for what's essentially a mass charm you can infinitely spam (Notice there's clause that states you can use it x number of times per long rest.) Enchanting address is both very clunky and overpowered, it's a very potent control ability that, ironically, is way stronger if you don't have any animals around, cause the feature states they "Must use actions that benefit and protect animals for 24 hours" and it has doesn't have a limited number of uses too, combine this with a divination wizard you could very easily shut down any humanoid you want. Besides that the protective instinct feature is weirdly worded, I feel like the last sentence should read "if the humanoid is within 5 feet of the animal, they become the target of the attack instead" it's also interesting that the creature you use this one has a choice of their saving throw, dunno if it's a good thing, but it's interesting. On the complete opposite end of the spectrum: Natures mirror is kind of funny, but also basically useless in combat, I guess it can get around invisibility? the +2 to wisdom and intelligence checks is situational, but could be useful in some niche circumstances.

To close out my thoughts on this subclass, it's really funny that this is the only subclass of the three that tries to capitalize off of the 2024 PHB, Onto the next subclass!

Oh boy this paladin subclass sure is something. First off, it's way to easy to oathbreak with this subclass. Say for example, you come across a village that's being attacked by oh I don't know, a red dragon, you know, in Dungeons and Dragons. Since your oaths state that you "protect animals from harm" you cannot attack the red dragon in any way without oathbreaking, or what if you get ambushed by an owlbear? Can't fight that without oathbreaking, I would go on but there are so many ways to oathbreak hat the DM borderline has to build most combats around this subclass, and that's just isn''t fun.

Moving on from the obvious flavor fails, the two channel divinitys are pretty good? Beasts fury sucks to read cause it swaps between flavor and mechanical text in the same paragraph, but it's basically an additional 1d6 of damage on the creatures melee attacks and frightening enemies they hit on a failed wisdom save, strong but I imagine the frightening could get very annoying especially once extra attack comes into play, an 11th-level fighter under the effects of beasts fury could possibly impose 3 wisdom saves at once (6 if they action surge) slowing the game down dramatically, it's the same issue that the topple property from the 2024 PBH has, it slows the game way the hell down. Sanctuary of The Innocent is broken, first of the radius is questionable at best, is it centered on yourself? a point you can see? Secondly, granting immunity to damage on all animals is busted when combined with summon beast, conjure animals/woodland beings or even a beast master druid, at the same time the feature doesn't specify friendly beasts so going back to the dragon example, you could end up making the boss invincible for the entire encounter. Guardians refuge is okay, the benefits are sort of decent? But I doubt you'll be fighting that many CR 3 beasts or monstrosities by 6th-level (Not to mention the feature is completely worthless as higher tiers of play) the second benefit is really vague but it could be decent if you have a druid or ranger. Unburden the beasts is a quite possibly the first harmful ribbon feature! Cause by rules as written you say, can't ride on horses, or have them pull a wagon, but it also for some reason doubles the carrying capacity of animals...Despite you not being able to use them to haul your supplies? Such a strange ability. Whispers of the wild is another ribbon that comes on too late to be decent. Humanoid handing is, say it with me folks, really strong if you have a druid or ranger in your party, it's funny that its uses per day are limited to your wisdom modifier (despite paladin not using wisdom.)

For my closing thoughts on the animal liberation paladin, a lot of the abilities are strong on paper, but require you to either multiclass, or have a druid/ranger in the party since it doesn't get any way to summon animals, so even if you somehow don't oathbreak after a session, you're abilities are mostly useless! While I didn't point it out in the feature rundown, it's very noticable that the subclass does not follow the paladin subclass structure at all (3, 7, 15 and 20th level) I have no idea why! Probably because the designer wasn't paying attention!

With that mess out of the way, time to cover the last of the three subclasses: The Warden of The Wild ranger.

The spell list is fantastic, charm person, aid, hold person, dispel magic, and polymorph all on one spell list is amazing, on top of it you also get double the spells that a normal ranger expanded spell list would give, Sabotage hunt is anti hunters mark, there's really not much more to say about it other than rolling a d6 for every damage roll I imagine would get extremely annoying and slow down the game. It's odd that you don't regain a use of this feature upon completing a long rest but whatever, echo's of the wild is a crappy ribbon feature that won't work most of the time, and isn't that helpful even in situations where you can use it, I guess if you have a beast master on your teams it's really good cause you can basically never be sneaked up on but otherwise, it's not that good. Sanctuary is also really good if you have a animals but otherwise, it's alright. Purify life is decent if you really need to cleanse one of your pets (or an ally under the polymorph spell) but otherwise it's alright. The not regaining use on long rest strikes back!

Closing out my thoughts on these sublcasses, it feels very apparent that whoever wrote these really doesn't understand 5e very much (Especially clear with the oath of animal liberation) none of the subclasses follow the 5e style guide all that well, for some reason the term "Being" is used constantly when it's supposed to be creature or target, most of the features gained by these subclasses are either crappy ribbons or are features that, not only range from meh to overpowered, are also super situational to the point that you have to build your party around them.

But that is not all PETA decided to "grace" us with, as the document includes two spells and items (Which are for some reason called tools) so let's go over those as well

Liberate is pretty strong, being able to undo a charm person or confusion on a animal, and instantly breaking a cage open for animals is a lot for a 1st-level spell slot, though the irony in the oath of animal liberation not having this spell is not lost on me, crimson mark is super funny, you spend a 1st-level slot + use concentration to tell is someone is evil. What a masterful display of game design prowess! The two magic items are meh, a magic item version of liberate and a worse bag of holding, yay??

That's about all I have for PETA "attempt" at homebrew, as bad as they are, at least I got a laugh out of them, and hopefully you did too. if you wanna leave your own thoughts make sure to comment or reblog.

Take care and go make some homebrew.

[i-just-wanna-write-fanfic]

YAN ALPHABET MIKE+ALTERS (minus Chester cuss I dunno how to write for him qnq)

part one, MIKE

WARNINGS: YANDERE KINDS OF STUFFS, STALKING, POSSEVINESS, KIDNAPPING, OBBSESIVNESS, MURDER, VIOLENCE, FORCED LOVE, MIKE DOESN'T LOVE ZOEY.

type: obsessive, delusional.

Affection: How do they show their love and affection? How intense would it get?

Mike just love, love, LOVES you! he shows his love in many ways! whether it's words of love, physical affection, or acts of service, he will do basically anything to show you much he cares!

Blood: How messy are they willing to get when it comes to their darling?

oh, Mike could never bring himself to KILL someone! maybe just some scary glares or threats will scare them away...

but if that doesn't work... he'll have to resort to more... DRASTIC measures...

Cruelty: How would they treat their darling once abducted? Would they mock them?

he wouldn't let you out of his sight once he has you right where he wants you! (with him ofc <3)

he would never mock you! he loves you too much to do that...

Darling: Aside from abduction, would they do anything against their darling’s will?

nope.

well, except for cuddles, unless he notices that you're uncombable, in that case, he'll get off of you.

Exposed: How much of their heart do they bare to their darling? How vulnerable are they when it comes to their darling?

he'll answer any question you ask him! he doesn't have anything to hide!

well, he is a bit scared to tell you about his... well... disorder, but he's sure you'll treat him the same nonetheless!!

Fight: How would they feel if their darling fought back?

sad and hurt.

what did he do wrong?

why are you trying to leave him?

please don't leave him...

he needs you so badly...

Game: Is this a game to them? How much would they enjoy watching their darling try to escape?

nope!

he takes this very seriously.

he hates it when you try to leave him.

Hell: What would be their darling’s worst experience with them?

smothering and/or isolation.

Ideals: What kind of future do they have in mind for/with their darling?

he hopes for you two to someday get married, and spend the rest of your lives together!

maybe even have kids! unless you don't want them, of course!

Jealousy: Do they get jealous? Do they lash out or find a way to cope?

he very easily gets jealous. he sees you as the best thing in the world, something he can't live with! so when someone tries to talk to you, or even worse, touch you, or flirt with you, he becomes very jealous!

he usually becomes clingy when he's jealous.

Kisses: How do they act around or with their darling?

he's very lovey-dovey, and he constantly seeks out your love and attention.

Love letters: How would they go about courting or approaching their darling?

he couldn't for a while. he really couldn't. whenever he did, he felt like throwing up.

but he would leave you "love letters", whether they were actual letters, or weird messages on your mirror or walls, that you'd have to clean up, taking a shower after to get rid of the weird feeling you just couldn't shake off.

Mask: Are their true colors drastically different from the way they act around everyone else?

nope! he's just more lovey-dovey and annoying around you. maybe a bit more touchy too.

Naughty: How would they punish their darling?

smothering or isolation.

he much more prefers smothering

Oppression: How many rights would they take away from their darling?

bye-bye, freedom and privacy!

you need to be with him at ALL times.

and he usually finds out any secrets you're hiding from him pretty quickly.

Patience: How patient are they with their darling?

very patient! he will wait however long he needs to for you to get something right! he might get a bit agitated if you take too long, but he knows you'll get it sooner or later!

Quit: If their darling dies, leaves, or successfully escapes, would they ever be able to move on?

death: he would never be able to move on. he would constantly grieve, and cry. in the beginning, he didn't want to believe you ACTUALLY DIED. he kept on shaking you, just hoping you were just playing around with him or sleeping!

leaves: not happening.

escapes: he's on you 24/7, so idk how u did that lol- anyways- he would be looking for you most of the time, so stay on your toes.

Regret: Would they ever feel guilty about abducting their darling? Would they ever let their darling go?

only slightly.

but that doesn't mean he's letting you go.

Stigma: What brought about this side of them (childhood, curiosity, etc)?

everything about you was and is so perfect... he needed you... he couldn't be lonely any longer, he just needed you...

might have been mal seeping through the cracks.

Tears: How do they feel about seeing their darling scream, cry, and/or isolate themselves?

he feels horrible...

if it was because of him, he'll give you some space, but if it was because of someone else, he won't kill them, but they'll be missing for quite a while...

Unique: Would they do anything different from the classic yandere?

his DID, and general innocence about the world.

Vice: What weakness can their darling exploit in order to escape?

his emotions.

he is quite emotional around you, so you could probably manipulate him emotionally to get him off your case long enough to let you escape/manipulate him to set you free. but that won't last too long.

Wit’s end: Would they ever hurt their darling?

no.

never.

Xoanon: How much would they revere or worship their darling? To what length would they go to win their darling over?

he loves you so much... he practically worships you.

your birthday for him is like the coming of Jesus, and any day spent with you is the best day ever!

everything about you is perfect, the pace at which you breathe, how you walk, your voice, everything!

Yearn: How long do they pine after their darling before they snap?

a week or two.

once he can be close to you without needing to hurl due to too many butterflies, he's taking you away to live with him!!! <3

Zenith: Would they ever break their darling?

N O .