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#dunno if this will show up in the tags since there's so many links but oh well
fedoraspooky · 7 months
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In light of tumblr shooting itself in the foot, I've been thinking about what I should do with my art from now on. Obviously, deleting my old posts off here isn't gonna do shit, it's essentially locking my door after my house got emptied out by burglars. Especially with my old rp account I no longer can log into, they're just gonna steal and sell my old art that I posted there and I can't even flip a questionably-affective toggle about it.
Thing is, I dunno how many people are gonna actually leave. I'm not even sure I will, since I have a lot of friends here... And after so many shitty updates a lot of people are just hanging on out of spite at this point.
That said, I'm considering that for art posts and stuff, maybe I'll post them elsewhere and just link to them here so they're not on tumblr's servers? Idk... Tumblr tends to kill the visibility of links but I'm not really sure what else I can do.
Also, there's the question of where to actually post new stuff. Bluesky seems the most active but I dont know if old posts cut off after a certain amount of posts like twitter does, in which case that would not be a good archive in the long run. xnx
Cohost is functionally pretty close to tumblr, but ngl it seems super isolated on there bc of its commitment to not showing any likes on your posts. I get that its to combat the social media numbers game, but the downside is that it looks like nobody's even seen your work. If people like something of yours there's no way outside of notifs to see it, so scrolling down on your page and seeing only zeros after zeros of comments on stuff (comments are the only visible number), it's easy to feel like you're just posting into a void.
Pillowfort is pretty good, and they just added tag blocking and the ability to queue/schedule posts. Still kinda quiet and invite only, but if you sign up for the invite queue you can get one pretty fast. Also i probaby have a ton of invites sitting around if anyone wants one. I wish it had an app, but mobile web version works well enough I guess, and I'm already used to doing that with sheezy and newgrounds, so I just have those open in mobile tabs together.
Speaking of, Newgrounds has been pretty good, but due to the nature of the portal system and stuff you're more encouraged to post only your better-looking stuff there. You CAN post doodles if you want, but only outside of the portal, which limits their visibility. Kinda like dA's scraps system I guess.
Sheezy looks super promising customization-wise so I'm thinking of posting there more when it opens up to more peeps.
Toyhouse also looks really good for OC and story things too, and also has a good degree of customization.
There's probs options I haven't even thought about, but its good to know there ARE options. I may post in several of those places for now and see how it goes. Test the waters a bit.
If you're thinking of moving your art elsewhere lemme know where, I'm curious to see where people are going :o
Especially you moots, i need to refind my pals in these other places!
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puppiesandnightlock · 5 months
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LINK: We go together like a Chanel No. 5 and mace
Summary: Damian is six feet under in denial, the boys get ice cream and wow this feels like a date but it's definitely not-
Jon was being weird. And Damian does mean weirder than Jon's normal weird. 
He was withdrawing all the touches that Damian had just gotten used to , and the nicknames and a lot of the banter that made up their conversations.
If he dropped a comment that could potentially start up something, Jon would pass it over, keeping the odd demeanor he’d begun showing.
His face was flushed near all the time, which what not endearing thank you very much, especially not when paired with a soft smile or laugh or shake of his head-
No. Not going there, he did not have time for such frivolous thoughts or feelings, who even said he was having feelings to begin with anyways?
He was wallowing in a stage called ‘denial’, and he was very happy to stay there and not move, thanks. 
So maybe he’d been there for a while but he’d rather die than admit that out loud.
Thankfully, he wasn’t stupid and knew how to keep everything under lock and key, unlike Jon who was caught staring at him at least twice a day, which made him mildly self conscious.
Tutoring would be coming to an end soon, seeing as Jon’s grades were inclining at a steady pace and any lost credits had been made up. Peer tutoring was now firmly on Damian’s list of achievements, making up his rather impressive resume for college in the next few years, which brings them to the conversation going on now.
Both boys were once again in Jon’s bedroom, Damian’s house, despite the fact that it was nearly a mansion and would be by the end of the renovations, was full of rowdy siblings and their partners. Neither minded, seeing as the large house was basically empty.
Damian was lying on his back, swiping through the multiple posts he’d been tagged in since getting his social media accounts back up at Jon’s insistence. 
The other boy was hanging off the bed, his head pressed to the floor as they traded conversations. “You’re doing all this work to convince your family that you're a civilized folk now and no longer a badass, but you don’t have any idea what you’re going to study?”
Damian tsked, phone landing on his chest and hands folding on top of it. “I have a few ideas. It’s not all for nothing. And what about you, farm boy? You don’t have much room to talk, what are you planning on doing now that I've made you into ‘civilized folk’?” 
“Science.” He said pulling himself up and flopping next to Damian, face buried in the comforter. “Gonna do something science-y.”
“Ah, yes. Something ‘science-y’, how very specific.” he rolled his eyes, ignoring the way his face flushed at Jon’s soft laughter.
“If you really could do anything, what would you do?” Jon lifted his head up, rolling onto his side a bit. 
“I think I would be a veterinarian.” He said slowly, eyes trained on the ceiling rather than turning to face him. “Or an artist, but that’s rather impractical.”
“I can see you as both.” Jon hummed. “You’ve got so many animals already, what's a few dozen more to fix up? You’re so sweet to them, you’d save them all.”
Damian cleared his throat, switching the subject back to him. “What about you? Resident in the city jail? Back to Kansas?”
Jon chuckled, moving to match Damian’s position of staring up into the ceiling. “Like I said, somethin’ science-y. Like a scientist. It’s the only subject I had a decent grade in before you came along, and the most enjoyable, if i say so.”
“Any specific scientist? A science teacher?” 
“Dunno.” 
They sat in silence for a bit, their thoughts now out in the open and there for each other to contemplate them. It was an oddly thoughtful conversation, one so strikingly different from what they normally had.
“This is hurting my head.” Jon announced, sitting up. Damian coped his movement, smile playing on his lips. 
“Oh, poor you, the concept of the future weighs too much on your small brain?” He teased, stretching out on the comforters.
“Shut up.” Jon grumbled goodnaturedly, shoving him playfully and rolling off the bed. “Let’s go out!”
For some reason, the words made him flush, and he brushed past him to the door frame in order to hide it, cursing at himself and looking down. “Where to, farmboy?”
In a bold move, he grabbed hold of the shorter boy’s hand and pulled him down the stairs and through the house, the both of them looking anywhere but the other. If they had looked, they would have seen the identical flushes they were wearing.
Jon kept a hold on his hand, even after they had left the house and were doing nothing but walking down the sidewalk. Damian was feeling overly heated in his green and gray jacket, certainly having nothing to do with the temperature outside. He shook the thoughts beginning to appear at the front of his mind and only asked, “Where are you taking me to?”
“You’re being kidnapped,” Jon informed him. “I can’t tell you where I'm taking you, or you’ll alert the police.”
“I suppose this,” He raised their connected hands, “Is so that i do not run off?”
“There’s hope for you yet, Wayne.”
“I am unsure if you should really be saying that to me , considering that all evidence points to it being the other way around.”
“You just have to rain on my parade all the time, don’t you?”
Damian used his other hand to cover his mouth, smile breaking through to soft laughter, Jon batting the hand away. “Don’t hide it, Dame.”
He flushed, willing it away and only rolling his eyes, letting himself be led down the streets and back into the park they’d run through to get to the woods. 
“I’m not risking another theft, so don’t get your hopes up.” 
“Laaame.” Jon dragged out the word, eye catching on an ice cream cart rolling down the street. “Oo.”
“You’re such a child.” Damian tsked. “How you managed to keep the facade of this up without anyone noticing the rest is absolutely astounding.”
“Does that mean you’ll buy me ice cream?”
“Ugh.”
Nonetheless, they wandered over to the cart, still hand in hand.
 “Go on.” He sighed.
Jon promptly rattled off his order, bouncing on his toes. “What are you gonna get, D?”
“I’m going to regret this, but surprise me.” Damian put a loose hand over his eyes, while Jon grinned, pointing to a flavor, the person dutifully scooping it up, a small smile on their face at the sight.
“Say ah.” Jon instructed, bringing the cone of strawberry ice cream to his mouth. Damian complied and let his hand slide down.
“Strawberry. You surprised me.” Damian smirked, paying. “Didn’t think it’d be this basic.”
“Excuse me!” he dropped Damian's hand in favor of bringing it up to his chest, gasping in an overly dramatic offended nature. 
“You got chocolate, so I'm not surprised.” He teased. “And you’ve got it everywhere.”
“No, I don't!” He squawked, crossing his eyes as if that would help him see. Damian laughed, a quiet sound that he bit his lip to conceal.
“Hold still.” He wiped the ice cream off the tip of his nose, licking it off as a subconscious movement. After all, how many times had someone done that to him?
The realization of what had just happened settled in and they both turned away from each other, ears burning. 
The rest of the walk was in silence and they nibbled on their cones, hands between them but not touching beyond a brief brush that had them both springing apart and flushing more.
In Damian’s opinion, this was ridiculous. He was being sentenced to the feelings and actions of an extraordinarily cringe teenage romance, and he wanted off.
Off the ride, off these feelings and down with the way his skin tingled at the slightest contact. He was being subjected to the romantic stylings of the insipid novels his second oldest brother was obsessed with.
For God’s sake, he was above this! 
He had no time for these ridiculous emotions, he had his schoolwork and student council and art club to think of, his future and pets and absolutely none of it included one Jonathan Samuel Kent.
“Hey,uh.” Jon cut through his thoughts, stopping. “We’re at the end of the park. We should go home.”
“Right.” Damian glanced to the side, avoiding looking dirty up at the other boy. “Should we part here then?”
“No, no!” Jon was quick to stop him, before finding his shoes to be much more important. “I, uh, I don’t want you to walk by yourself.”
“It’s hardly evening.” Damian pointed out, the sun still a high point in the sky proving his point. Jon crossed his arms, clad in an outfit Damian had put him in.
“I owe you for the ice cream, and this would count as paying off my debt.”
“Hardly.” Damian snorted. “Whatever makes you feel better, hayseed.”
They made their way back home, the awkwardness fading off a bit, although it returned as Damian stopped him about a block from the Wayne residence. 
“We should stop here. My siblings will throw a fit if they see me come home with you , much less being a previously unmentioned acquaintance.”
“You can just say friend, you know.”
“I could, but best not feed your ego anymore than necessary.” 
The laughter trailed off as Damian stepped farther away. “Um, it was nice to ‘hang out’ today. See you tomorrow?”
“Yeah.” Jon said softly, still standing at the corner. “See you, D.”
The growing tension followed, even as Damian scurried away, crossing the street and almost breaking into a run in his hurry to reach their large house.
If he’d turned back, he would have seen Jon still watching him, hand pushing his inky curls back as he attempted to quell the blush spreading on his face.
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shady-tavern · 6 days
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Rambled in the tags so I figured I'd ramble here since I didn't see an ao3 link and I'm not familiar enough with Patreon or Kofi to know if it has the leave comments/messages feature or what the etiquette for that there is. Our beloved hellsite is great for that.
Love your stories. Very comfy and relaxing, even the more intense storylines. Big "getting tucked into bed" vibes fantasy stories. Or reading in the woods like Frodo at the beginning of FotR.
The spacy ones are somewhat cerebral? All futury and yet so incredibly human. Fuck protocol indees.
And then like.... Action-y romance superhero stories. They don't revolve around secret identities... I'm realizing a lot of the hero/villain stuff I read specifically on tumblr doesn't as often revolve mainly around secret identities? Some to be sure, I wonder if miraculous ladybug fandom has taken over that niche? Thoughts for another time.
As I mentioned in the tags I'm a bit tired and the stories helped relax me. My cat helped some too ^_^
The superhero ones are delightful. I'm a sucker for romance. It feels bizarre compared to other romance stories, in all the best ways. It's all very soft and gradual. Almost the whole "fell first vs fell harder" and it seems many of your main characters are the fell harder. As if they had to come around and remember that they could be loved. Very burnout gifted kid mood with Demi vibes.
I dunno if there's a set rule to powers in your world(s). But I do so enjoy figuring out through the narrative what certain people can do. Getting just a specific peak into their lives. I don't mind or even really notice the first person. (My spouse has a hard time reading first person). But yeah, each one is also a little mystery in trying to piece together power sets and so on.
This is long and if you've read this far... Well I've posted stuff and love getting comments to note solely scream at a void. Thank you for sharing your stories!
Apologies for the late response and I saw your tags! I found them rather delightful, thank you for that! And for this ask as well, this made me smile a big, happy smile.
I am really very happy that you enjoy my stories! Writing brings me so much joy and happiness, that I always hope I can share that with someone who reads them. I hope that my stories can make someone feel better or make a boring day brighter or help someone bridge time as they wait for an appointment. I am very glad they give off such a lovely feeling! That's genuinely everything I could hope for!
I am very happy that I managed to write the alien and superhero stories well as well! They are a joy to write as well and I am glad that the way I write them makes for fun reading!
I am very happy that you could relax with my stories - and your lovely cat. Cats really are such sweet beings.
Haha yeah, I have a lot of "fell first vs fell harder" vibes in many of my stories. I often try to show and build a connection with the characters before love comes into play, which is very much a demi vibe and many characters are indeed almost surprised that they are loved by others. Or rather, by the person that they fell in love with in return.
There isn't really a rule that connects all the stories, it's more that powers have limits or prices or side-effects and it's up to the person who has them to figure out what to do with that. And those who have no magical or supernatural powers to speak off, they get to be clever and smart.
I'm very happy that you enjoyed my stories and thank you so much for all your kind words. It makes me happy to know that my stories are liked and that people had fun reading them.
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probablytrapped · 18 days
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There's been an ongoing debate for years between users on AO3 about whether or not people should be allowed to add works from other authors to collections.
Generally this debate is now over with the the default for a work to not allow others to add it to anything, meaning less and less works are available to add, which I really do think it is a shame. I understand the the general danger of losing fics since whoever was running the collection could make the works all anonymous, and the original author couldn't undo. That's pretty scary and annoying. Not sure exactly the the mechanics, but in general the issue stems from the fact collections were not designed for what users were ending up using it for.
Some argue that this is what the Bookmarks function is supposed to be, but I disagree. Bookmarks, while they can be either public or private, don't have the same social or organization power that collections had. (And if I'm remembering correctly, have a slightly stunted filter..)
Any reader could see what collection a work had been added to...And this is a bit of bad thing honestly, some fics have been added to SO many collections that it sometimes is a larger block than the actual tags. But that doesn't change the fact that it was a user built "what to read next" function.
I'm not suggesting that that's something that AO3 needs, I DO believe that a huge part of reading fanfiction is learning to fucking dig and search for what you want. But, user curated lists of recommendations? I don't see the harm in that. If often times is just a smaller pool to dive into rather than all of a specific tag or series.
Bookmarks aren't that easily delved into. Usually you might find an author you like and check out their bookmarks, but it isn't quite work the same as reading a specific fic and then seeing it's part of a collection called "NaruSasu timetravel fics I LOVE". Someone else also really loved that story! and here are some other works that they thought were similar! how nice!
If we COULD keep the collection system open and in use as it was or create something similar, I do think it would need some improvements:
Default number of viewable collections or rec lists should be capped at like 10, and then there's either a toggle to show more or a link to a new page with all the collections the fic is added to.
The ability to hide the collections list entirely from readers. It'll still be in the index page or something, but ultimately if authors don't want people redirecting to other things from their story....I get that.
I don't really love the idea of authors being able to remove their stories from a list, but that might be something to keep people appeased. But I don't think people should be able to opt out?? If there's no harm created by adding to a list I really don't see the point. Of course maybe someone starts a "Trash fic that should DIE!" kinda thing....anyway it's complicated
Being able to subscribe to a collection who be rad as hell. This unfortunately feeds into the social media aspect that I think AO3 tries to avoid, so I'm not sure if that would go over well. Maybe the people who run the collections can't have their accounts public on the collection page? dunno
And to spice things up, some general OTHER upgrades to AO3:
can i PLEASE get some easy to read indicator on a fic in the search level that i've read it before? There are so many extensions I've used over the years for this, but most of them break after a certain point...But I just need a "you've given kudos" or "you're subscribed" or SOMETHING. I don't mind rereading fics, but I don't love being Gandalf half the time!
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In the same vein as above....just a personal status tracker button. Maybe it's visible on the front end, but anything really to indicate if it's "TBR", "Reading", "Finished", or "DNF". The "DNF" is kinda important to me. Since if I mark it, that means I gave up for A REASON. This should all be private an not visible to authors or anyone else.
I would like to see all the fics I've given a Kudos to. please.
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Uh
Hi!
I'm very much a fandom new person (like literally it has been Three Weeks) and you seem really cool!
Would you know any good places to start with the older content? (Especially the fusion AU, It seems So Fun)
You can go to @ask-the-fusions for mine (here is my tag in chronological order. Dunno if it'll work on mobile but other people's fusions show up here too) but I've turned them into OCs at this point lol so you will see their eventual progression (and you can see their updated designs over at @starcrossed-comic ) but in my tags on this blog are my original ones! (search "sanders sides fusions" and "fusions" and "my fusions" and you'll get them.) Also if you search "sanders sides fusions" or "fusions" these other blogs, you'll find some really good pictures!
PLEASE NOTE that many if not all of these artists are no longer in the fandom because they have since moved on. Their artwork is SO wonderful though and can give you really cool inspiration for your own fusions! 8D
@sweetest-honeybee
@fanartfunart
@romansanders (art of Picani being a Logicality fusion)
@jessibbb
@heckoffmate
@keeperink (angic is so fucking cute)
away4milk won't @ but Daniel was Breloomings back in the day and his fusions are so damned cute! UNFORTUNATELY because the blog is an archive, it's hard to search for fusions but they ARE there. A lot of them are in my tags. It's SO worth it.... just LOOK at this!
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I miss daniel sometimes. :(
Here's some other links!
[1] [2] [3] [4]
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The Dark Passenger - An EZ Reyes/OC Story.
So besties, I have folded spectacularly and decided to post the first chapter, just to see what the reaction is. Cue me sitting here now chewing my nails to bits as I wait to hear if it’s any good! If you enjoy it, please do let me know, and since I haven’t written a full length story for EZ yet, if you want to be helpful and put the word out to any EZ lovers out there who you think might enjoy it too, please feel free! 
Oh, and just to reiterate going on from my announcement post, this fic will centre around dark!EZ. He will be manipulative and toxic. The boy scout has died, but eventually, there will be a redemption arc. Until then, though, don’t expect a smooth ride with him! 
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Words - 4,459
Warnings - 18+ content throughout, minors DNI!
Tag list - In the comments. Please DM to be added/removed
Heavy is the head that wears the crown.  
Maybe, if Ezekiel Reyes hadn’t been so consumed by an unquenchable thirst for revenge against the Sons of Anarchy, maybe if he hadn’t instigated calling a kill switch vote upon Marcus Alvarez with quite the gusto he had, he perhaps might have left time for El Padrino to warn him of such, before he was ousted from the head of the table.  
Heavy is the head that wears the crown. At that moment in time, the crown was a weight upon his head unlike anything he’d previously known, but he would not relent. He would not cease, not until the Sons had been pushed down via the clout of the Mayans, made to fall in line, their necks tethered like fierce guard dogs upon heavy chained leashes, each link a Mayan brother yanking back should they stray too far, ever reminded of the power they had over them.  
That power? Heroin.  
They now moved huge quantities for the Lobos New Generation cartel, their product giving the Mayans the footing they needed to crush all others beneath their weight. The streets were flooded, the prison supply now pushed exclusively by the MC, the once aptly named poison charter now standing tall and strong above all. Santo Padre led.  
The poison still swirled, though. For one man, he was only too happy, it would seem, to let it infect his veins. Yet it did not weaken him, or rather, it did no harm to the man he now was.  
The old EZ? It had all but killed him. Poisoned to death by power, greed and bloodlust. It was an opinion shared by everyone who had a seat at the table, as five pairs of dark brown eyes flitted between one another, and the large bag upon the table, placed there by their president. El Rey Oscuro, they called him in the safety of the shadows, out of the reach of his ears. The dark king. There was little light left within EZ, and they all knew it, saw it, felt it. Yes, they were back on top, untouchable, but at what cost?  
There upon the table sat the price they knew each of them would likely be set to pay for, sooner or later. The top rung of the ladder they stood upon was not without its complications, of which EZ was attempting to iron out.  
“I dunno, man,” Angel began, each other man silently thanking him for being the first to speak. “Heroin is one thing, but getting into this shit? Naw, I ain’t seeing the benefit in moving it.”
EZ rolled his tongue around the inside of his mouth, his forearms flexing as he knitted his fingers together before him. “Fentanyl is more powerful than heroin, many, many times over. We aren’t moving it, per se. We’re cutting our product with it.” He paused, lifting his chin a little more, the dim templo light catching the golden tones of his irises, hues the others were surprised did not burn red. It was as if hell itself had begun to swirl within him at times, after all.  
The dark king continued. “Since the unfortunateness of the warehouse fire, our first shipment for the LNG destroyed, forcing us to move an inferior quality replacement as you all know, we need to earn points with our supplier, build further trust, show initiative. We might have the heroin trade sewn up, but it’s with garbage. It’s moving, but not as quickly as the LNG would like. This sets us apart and transforms the product to one of superior quality, if we supply it to them in order to do the cutting. It’ll bring in more cash for us, too.”
Everyone remained quiet, the men shifting uneasily in their seats, their leather kuttes feeling heavy upon them, the hard wood of the chairs stifling, binding, reminding them of their place. Everyone else was held down beneath their force, but them? They were beneath the boot and the unshakable will of one man.  
It didn’t mean, however, that they would remain unquestioning in their fealty.
“EZ, while I agree we need to show such, we gotta be careful with this shit,” Bishop began, lighting a cigarette. “That stuff is deadly. If it ain’t cut correctly, it’ll set us apart in the fact that there’ll be a trail of dead bodies all leading back to us, thousands upon thousands of croaked junkies. That’s the kind of shit that gets us watched by certain governmental department eyes more so than we already are.”  
The words of his VP were, as usual, steeped in fact and good sense. EZ was, if nothing else though, a man who covered all his bases.  
“I have a chemist, one who not only is prepared to work exclusively for us in order to synthesise the fentanyl, but once moved across the border, be there to examine the cutting process and make sure it is precise enough to give the product the correct edge, thus eliminating the overdose danger. If it’s voted in, I will take him to meet with Galindo and Soledad personally, since I already broached the latter with this suggestion. She was keen, of course I told her I would need to take it to a vote, so that is exactly what we are assembled here tonight to accomplish.”
He waited expectantly, his eyes scanning the faces of the five men who sat around the table with him. Bishop spoke first.  
“No. It’s too much of a risk, especially with the eyes on us since Creep’s arrest. The heroin is moving, and that’s all we have to worry about, EZ. You’re talking about quality of product like it’s our name on the line, like we’ll be affected by it. We won’t. We’re the mules. Let the LNG worry about whether anyone thinks it’s garbage or not. We still get our cut regardless.”  
Hank was next to weigh in. “It’s a no from me, too. It’ll bring too much heat. That chemist might know what he’s doing, but can you really vouch for every single person cutting the heroin to get that kind of delicate balance right, thousands of times over? It’s way too much risk.”
“I think it’s a good idea. I vote yes.” Of course, Nestor would. Angel rolled his eyes, muttering something well under his breath. When it came to their president, the newest member of the club was nothing short of sycophantic in his eyes. Some might disagree, and state that his opinion was tainted by the fact that he disliked him, that Nestor was simply playing safe by showing loyalty during his fledgling months as a newly patched brother.  
Gilly and Angel’s votes were both against the idea, EZ’s demeanour changing in a nanosecond as he brought the gavel down, defeated, and extremely displeased by such as they all filed out of templo. The men who had voted against him could only hope that he would see the sense in their reasoning eventually, but until then, they knew El Rey Oscuro would be like a bear with a sore head.  
Picking up a beer and a bourbon from the bar, Bishop walked over to join Angel on one of the couches, sitting down with a sigh, handing him the beer. “He’s getting worse.”  
Angel’s eyes widened, his jaw twitching as he bit down, grinding his teeth slightly. The VP had noticed him partaking of that a lot of late. “You’re right, Bish. I know we all voted for war, but shit, mano. I live in the biggest fucking regret for voting that kill switch in. He ain’t ready to be at the helm.”
“I’m not gonna sit here and pretend like all of his decisions have been bad, I have to give him a little credit,” Bishop began, his thumb picking at a slight flaw in his bourbon glass. “We’re back on top because of him and his choices, but when he brings ideas like fentanyl to the table, I wonder where the fuck his mind is at. He’s reckless, and you’re right. When he behaves like that, he isn’t ready for it. We gotta try and keep a firm pull on his reins. He might be the head, but us, brother, we’re the neck.”
Angel had heard this before. “And the neck turns the head in whichever direction it wants, right?”
“Right.” His eyebrows fluttered, Bishop taking a deep breath before raising his glass to his mouth. “For as long as we possibly can. The weight of the head can always break the neck.”  
That statement didn’t fill Angel with much hope, but he had to hold a belief that somehow, his brother would settle more, and the days of him being labelled El Rey Oscuro would become a thing of the past.  
While they sat drinking and discussing, the man himself left a half-drunk beer at the bar, the headache he had coming on only exacerbated by having to share space with the men who had voted against him. He was pissed off, and sought a distraction from it, somewhere where he could feel like he was the one in charge, somewhere he could relax, preferably with something pretty to look at.  
Heavy is the head that wears the crown.
Yes, he needed a distraction.  
The Luna Lounge was a relatively new enterprise within Santo Padre, the owner of such wanting to offer punters a classier feel to the surroundings in which they viewed the scantily clad women twirling around poles along the long, elevated stage that ran along the back of the bar. It didn’t matter how much he dressed it up, it was still a place to drink beer and see tits and ass. Except the beer was mostly imported and the tits and ass were of superior quality to those within the smaller, grimier establishments dotted around the bleak back streets of the border town, so it had that going for it, at least.  
EZ took a seat, a guy who looked like he was all but ready to finish his shift greeting him with a tired smile, taking his drink order. Once furnished with a beer, he moved around to the stage side, scanning what was on offer as women of various appearance clocked him, all brandishing the same warm smiles full of sensual allure, those smiles not quite reaching their eyes.  
And then he saw her.  
She was breathtaking, and he could tell as he sat down before where she slowly shimmied around a pole that she had absolutely no idea how stunning she was, but god, how she worked what she had. She should have been on the front of a magazine cover, not swinging around a pole in platform shoes and underwear much too cheap to be befitting of her beauty. She was, as the other girls were too, a little lacking in lustre behind the eyes, likely wondering how life had led to them strutting around a stage for their cash, ones and fives thrown up, tens and twenties from the more generous clientele.  
Camille could feel his eyes on her before she even turned around to view him. Tall, dark, handsome. Not many of his type frequented The Luna Lounge. In fact, she wagered he likely didn’t need to pay girls to take their clothes off and dance for him at all, looking the way he did. A mere click of his fingers would be all it took, she thought to herself, sauntering over before any of the other harpies she shared the stage with clocked him.  
“Well,” she began, crouching before him, her full lips curving in a way that made something very pleasant run through him, “aren’t you the most handsome thing to walk in here all night.”
Taking a bill from his pocket, he reached for her thong, tucking it into the elastic. “Hmm.” The noise he made confirmed he agreed with her statement; of course, he did. He’d seen himself in a mirror, he knew what he had.  
Camille looked down at her hip, seeing the bill was a twenty, turning back to him with a smile full of promise. “That’s very generous of you, handsome.” Running her perfectly manicured nail slowly down his cheek, she felt a little ripple of excitement when he turned and kissed her fingertip, his dark gold eyes focusing in on her. She liked it when they made her feel special.  
“How much time does that buy me with you dancing right there in front of me?”  
“Just enough to keep you throwing up those bills if you want more.” With a wink, she slowly rose to standing, her feline glide taking her back to the nearby pole, hoisting herself up and locking her legs around it, leaning back gracefully as she slowly turned, her blonde curls tumbling, the shining blue of her eyes fixed upon his.  
He watched her intently, focusing on the way the black lace of her underwear accentuated her body, her breasts obviously not her own, but well done enough that they didn’t look ridiculous. Not like the bad boob job currently grinding into the next pole down with the kind of uncouth gusto that didn’t exist in the blonde who was captivating his attentions with her elegance. She’d accentuated her tanned skin with little sparkles, sweeps of glitter highlighting the curves of her hips, the rise of each breast and the lithe muscles in her long, slender legs.
She was immaculate, even down to her matching mani and pedi, glittery black fingers and toes, the sooty smudge of her smoky eye makeup the same, care and effort put into her appearance. Yes, she was most definitely too good for twirling around a pole for a living, but EZ wasn’t about to tell her that. It was her job to make him feel good, after all.  
“So,” he asked after a while, Camille returned to right in front of him. “How much to get you by yourself?”  
“A standard lap dance will cost you forty. A full nude version, sixty.”  
He licked his top lip, nodding. “I think the extra twenty is worth it.”  
She smiled, gracefully getting down from the stage. “Give me a couple of minutes, and I’ll meet you just over there by the blue curtains, Mr President.” She winked, running her hand down his arm, her pulse fluttering. God, the muscles. She loved it when they were gorgeous. And he was the president of an MC, too. A man of power, she noted. She liked that even more; it made her feel special that he’d chosen her.  
Returning to the dressing room, she changed into a nude-coloured set of lace undies, a matching dress too, leaving on the peach toned sparkly nipple pasties she wore beneath her bra, fluffing her hair, spritzing on her favourite perfume, adding a few more sparkles before changing her shoes to match. Clear lucite with pale peach ribbons tying each one to her delicate feet and ankles.  
Leaving his almost finished draught beer on the side of the stage, EZ was on his way over to the curtained area when he saw the shimmering light of the blonde appear, Camille reaching for his hand with a soft smile that was one hundred percent allure, leading him through the curtains and into the private room. It was decorated all in dark blue, with thousands of twinkling lights strewn across the ceiling, looking like a starry sky, small booths dotted around, four other girls present, all in various stages of undress as they worked their charm for the respective men who had paid for their time.
EZ took a seat in the circular booth, Camille leaning forward, resting her hands on his thighs, her lips tickling the outer edge of his ear. “Get comfortable and enjoy, handsome.” She rose slowly, her body beginning to sway softly to the beat of the music, the song unfamiliar to him, but the tones just as sensual and richly delicious as the blonde who danced before him. Her striptease was natural, unhurried and sensually suggestive, enticing him every step by the way she made a show of something as simple as removing a dress.  
He tried to fight against the spell he felt himself falling under, the enchantment of her reveal, wanting to remain in control, the one who had others bend to his will, in order to redress the shifted balance that the lack of success at templo had left him feeling. She was here to soothe the stinging within, but he would remain objective, and her his subject.  
Perhaps someone should have explained the finer details of the purpose of a lap dance to him. He was the one paying to relinquish control, and let a beautiful woman distract him with fantasy, if only for a short time. His stance over such was certainly telling over where his mind was on the subject of losing even one ounce of control in any aspect of his life, though.  
Camille felt it, too. While she didn’t know his inner thoughts, she knew he sat there tense, fighting against himself somewhat. She leaned into him, her bra clad breasts brushing his chest through the grey, long sleeved t shirt he wore, soft meeting hard, hoping to coax a little of the tension out of him. Once again, her body dipped against his, a soft, sweet moan spilling from her lips, turning on her heel and seating herself in his lap, gently rotating her rounded butt against his crotch.  
She timed it, waiting for just long enough for his pulse to escalate, standing again, her hands smoothing over her body as she unhooked her bra, the front fastening then secured by her palms as she turned back to look at him over her shoulder, a smouldering pout accentuating her lips. Turning back to him, she moved in a graceful glide to the last bars of the song, the room quiet only for a few moments before a song he recognised instantly began to play.  
Venus in Furs was one of Camille’s favourites to strip to, internally beaming to herself as she moved fluidly, her hands working in tease over her breasts before finally revealing them, the glitter of her pasties catching the dim light, sinking to her knees to crawl toward him, hands grasping his thighs and slowly stroking upwards as she brought her body up between them.  
Mounting his lap once more, she locked her eyes onto his, gently gyrating against him a few times before bending back fully, her hips rolling slowly, her hands coming up to pull at each pastie, casting them away before she sat back up again, each blush nipple stiffening a little, trailing her fingers down his cheeks as finally, she saw the corners of his mouth upturn.  
“Got him.” she thought, watching his shoulders relax, knowing it was only a matter of time. Bare naked tits usually did the trick, though. Continuing to grind herself against him, she felt his breath hit her neck, knowing she was escalating him, giving him a few more seconds before she stood, moving back to her floorshow dance, leaving him feeling as if someone had yanked at the rope of his resolve... and unravelled it completely.  
The way she’d just moved against him had utterly blown his mind, ensnared him further than her enchanting display so far, pulled him away from himself and, what he needed most, made him forget. Here, he didn’t need to be in control. Finally, he got it. But fuck, how he wanted more.  
And that was exactly her design.  
“This no touching rule is getting more difficult to stick to by the moment,” he blurted, not able to prevent the words from leaving his mouth. Her allure, her scent, her moves, her body. Her. She’d got her hooks into him, and he couldn’t help but let the complimentary statements keep on rolling off his tongue. “You’re so fucking beautiful.”  
She smiled, smoothing her hands over her breasts, placing a foot up on the back of the booth to the side of his head, her body undulating, EZ inhaling a sharp breath. Oh, the urge to turn his head and skim a lick over her ankle. Camille saw it, too, the state she was working him up into. “I bet it’s the only thing you can think about, isn’t it? Running those big, powerful hands all over me. You have to be good, but me? Mmm, not so much.”
Lowering her leg again, she seated herself in his lap, wiggling against him, her body moving in a serpentine roll, turning her head, her breath fluttering against his cheek as she felt something very big beginning to harden against her butt. A gorgeous, jacked Latino guy with a big dick; he was definitely one hundred percent her taste, but he was work, and she had to remind herself of that.  
One more seductive dance before him, this time undoing the ribbon ties of her thong, and she was back astride him, grinding herself into him harder this time, her body pressed tightly against his, EZ physically moving his hands beneath his thighs, the temptation to grasp her almost too much to resist.  
“Yeah, do you want me, gorgeous? I can feel that you do. God, it’s so big,” she purred, her hand gently grasping his jaw as she rotated against him, EZ feeling himself spinning. There they were, client and lap dancer, and the heat that escalated between them was very, very real. More potent than either of them could have anticipated. There it was, the first thread of connection linking between them, and it crackled like a live wire.  
“You could pull my cock out and get on it right now, and I wouldn’t stop you, and no one would know. You want it, don’t you? Yeah, you wanna fuck me.”  
And god, how she did. It was unmistakable, the heat of her want as he watched the fire of it dance in her eyes, a blaze of lust that was unmistakable, that wasn’t an amped up bluff performance for the purposes of allure. However, she was in control, and she remained that way, working him up, and up... and up, until he felt his cock twitching against her, hot and hard, dying for release, tingling violently until... no she wasn't going to make him... fuck. Yes, she was. She’d actually made him cum in his pants, while staring him right in the eye entire time.
God... fucking... damn.  
He certainly hadn’t expected that, Camille climbing off him, picking up her underwear and sliding them back on, her dress following. He took her money from his pocket as he stood somewhat uneasily, adjusting his jeans, tucking the bills into the corner of her bra, eyeing her appreciatively. “What time do you finish?”
“1am,” she confirmed, fluffing her hair, resting her hands to her hips.  
“Good, I’ll wait,” he spoke, leaning to her ear. “Because the next time you make me blow my load, I want to actually be inside of you.”  
She smirked, running her fingernails down his chest, her face nearing his, still teasing him with the allure, the promise of more, until it ground to an abrupt halt. “I’m not that easy, big fella.”  
As she sauntered away, for the second time that night, EZ felt frustrated at not being able to attain the goal of having others to bend to his chosen will. While he knew the table vote would remain resolute, the same would not be said for the blonde stripper.  
He’d make her comply, because he knew she wanted him just as much as he did her. It was only a matter of wearing her down, but he would. Being on top of everything in his world was the only acceptable place for Ezekiel Reyes, and before the week was out, he very much intended to be on top of her.  
Exiting the private room, he walked back to the bar while Camille headed for the dressing room, sitting down in front of a pale beauty, with long black hair and a plentiful collection of tattoos.  
“Evening, sexy,” she purred, sinking to her knees and leaning close to him in brazen fashion.  
He replicated the lean, looking her up and down. “How’d you like to earn a hundred dollars?”
The corners of her mouth tilted. “You just came out from a private dance, and you want another? Shit, Camille must be slipping.”
“No,” he confirmed. “That girl I came out with, Camille, you say? I wanna know when she’s working this week. You tell me what hours, and the hundred is yours, babe.” To show he wasn’t bluffing, he pulled the bill from his wallet, sliding it across the shiny surface, his finger remaining. Raven looked down at it and back up at him, figuring it to be the easiest hundred she’d make that night.  
“Wednesday, seven ‘till two, Friday and Saturday, six ‘till one.”  
His finger left the top of the bill, using it to tickle under her chin with a wink. “Thanks, gorgeous.” Armed with the information he needed, he left, all the while planning his return.  
Ezekiel Reyes; he was a man who got what he wanted in the end. And damn, he wanted Camille. Meanwhile, the lady herself sat in her chair in front of her makeup mirror, sinking a shot of tequila from the bottle she always had stashed in her bag for emergencies. The owner didn’t allow the girls to drink while they worked, but in this case, she needed a little jolt of strong alcohol.  
God, the way he’d looked at her. Sure, she was in the business of having men look at her like that, especially when she was grinding herself into their lap, but there was an intensity to the man with a chest about as wide as the hood of her car, and a cock that felt so big, it likely had its own zip code. The intensity of that stare, though, a stare she knew she’d reciprocated with honest intent, it was burned into her mind. There’d been a connection there, and suddenly, Camille cursed herself for not being quite as easy as he presumed her to be.  
Because of her profession, she’d always been a little uptight about the speed with which she had sex with a guy, though. Two hours later, while she was alone in her house watching a pan of pasta bubble, she closed her eyes and saw him there, the dark, sexy man whose name she didn’t even know.  
What she did know, though? He’d be back.  
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secretgamergirl · 2 years
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I guess the moral is people are not the exact right amount of Online, or something. Also this is my only venting outlet right now can you tell?
So apparently last night was “the Gaming Awards” which I didn’t watch for quite a lot of reasons, and hey, full disclosure I’m not doing any research or digging up old links on anything here, but I’m told at one point some teenager snuck on stage and shouted some kinda vague incoherent gibberish that sounded like some kind of neo-nazi conspiracy talk.
Spoiler: It was.
But apparently that was too simple an answer for some people, so they went trying to work out who this kid was and the first thing they find out is he gets invited on far right talk shows.
Which makes sense, because again, this is not a complicated story.
But... I dunno, I guess people were curious, hey, what did this kid do that people wanted to book him on far right talk shows? Oh well apparently however many years ago it was he did some kind of similar mic grab thing at some other thing to shout something incoherent about Hong Kong.
This makes perfect sense to me, the woman who studies all the dumb thing nazis do, remembering how part of the honestly-thin-enough-there’s-no-excuse-not-to-just-learn-what’s-in-it Nazi playbook, they made a huge push to colonize a major protest in Hong Kong, and were successful to the extent where even if I didn’t keep tabs on these things I probably would have noticed the bit where a bunch of mainstream news people who were paying just enough attention to nazi imagery to spot it in protest coverage and run some “well isn’t that peculiar?” stories but failed to pick up on the deal there.
The deal there by the way is nazis just find anything they can where a lot of young people seem to have a lot of energy and enthusiasm and desperately try to embed themselves both to recruit enthusiastic kids who don’t really know enough about the subject of their enthusiasm that the right buzzwords can groom them into new nazi recruits, and picking up a new cover story to throw the blame onto left-wing stuff when caught committing crimes later. You see this all the time when people fall for it and go on to write stuff like “the shooter didn’t seem to have any clear political motive. While his social media feed included some horrible antisemitic propaganda, he was a huge supporter of Bernie Sanders in 2015,” etc.
So OK nothing contradicts the obvious thing that the weird kid the far right loves shouting about Jews and the Clintons was just some nazi kid, but... yeah I’m seeing news stories talking about how he has a history of supporting good political causes and it’s a shame he didn’t do that instead of shouting inane gibberish. Like, no, this is the op now, that was the op then, this isn’t complicated people.
But since I’m still knocked off the site where people tend to talk about these things, I’m basically reading about this over someone’s shoulder, and I see an exchange in the comments thread under someone posting one of these stories, where one person says “wow this kid is way too online, he really needs to go out and touch grass” and then someone (probably a nazi? Seemed like there were a lot in the thread but it’s annoying to check when I can’t log in) responds to that with “how dare you suggest this child self-harm!?” and like... whether you’re being a disingenuous weirdo pretending to believe this or you actually believe this, the premise you’re running with is that the phrase “touch grass” is somehow violent? Like, how does this work? Is the grass in your mind razor-sharp? Should foot or hand meet it, the flesh shall be sliced to ribbons and the child may die? That’s... a new and interesting bit of nonsense.
... I wasn’t building to any sort of larger point here. Just I dunno, when the weird person says the stuff that sounds like nazi crap and then cursory research says nazis love’em, stop there and save yourself some time? Otherwise you end up where I am here looking at some weirdo shouting about people threatening to murder children because someone suggested maybe a young child should be like playing tag rather than getting groomed by nazis into pulling weird stunts.
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healy-dealy · 6 years
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Mabel fic reclist
For @themonthofmaybel, I decided to make reclist for fics focusing on Mabel Pines. Now, this is just a subjective list, and there’s plenty of good fics that I left off of here. (For one, I’m sticking to fics on AO3 for this one.) Feel free to add on if you want. With that said, here are some of my favorites:
The Mabel-Over, by burglebezzlement: After a regrettable night of drinking too much Mabel-juice, Wendy and Mabel must look for the Stanmobile.
Girl Talk, by futuresoon: Wendy talks to Mabel when she’s feeling down.
The Rule of Cool, by ryfkah: Mabel invites Wendy to her sleepover, but Candy and Grenda are intimidated by her coolness.
Strangerous Things, by ViolentFlowers: Mabel skypes with Candy and Grenda over a new discovery.
Mabel vs. Manliness, by Mertiya: Dipper & Mabel bonding with Trans!Dipper; after Sock Opera, Dipper is upset, and Mabel wants to find out why.
How Happy You Will Be, by sukikobold: Dipper and Mabel have a heartfelt conversation when Dipper leaves for college.
The Oregon Mistake, by afterism: Mysterious portals threaten the integrity of Gravity Falls, and it’s up to Dipper, Mabel, Wendy, and Soos to stop it. Featuring the main characters of Mabel’s favorite TV show, Extramundane.
Like a Rhinestone Cryptid, by fingalsanteater: After Stan has angered some monster, it’s up to Mabel to save the day.
A Study in Raspberry, by youjik33: Mabel and Stan get trapped in the new Ducktective movie, and must find a way out. (Disclaimer: I received this fic as a gift in an exchange.)
The Scarecrow and Mr Pines, by burglebezzlement: Mabel helps Ford build a scarecrow. (Disclaimer: I received this fic as a gift in an exchange.)
And that’s about it for now! Again, feel free to add on with other recs if you want to.
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emerald-chaos · 3 years
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Bemine-Bucky’s 400 500?!? Follower/Birthday Weekend Sleepover!
Thank you so incredibly much for being a follower of mine. When I started this blog and began writing again, I never expected to have so many people interested in what I post. Some of you have genuinely become such good friends of mine, I’ve found new writers whom I absolutely adore and look up to, and I’ve found something that feels fun to do again.
For this sleepover I simply couldn’t help myself and I decided to make it Vine themed. Some of these work well together and others I made fit for the sake of the things I wanted to do lmao so don’t come for me too hard! Vine was such a power house back in its day, and while there are some very iconic tik toks, I wanted to pay homage to our fallen hero. I’ve linked each vine to its respective emoji, that way if you haven’t heard of the vine or just want a refresher you can enjoy it!
Anyone can participate! Anons are welcomed as well. All I ask is that you send me either the corresponding emoji or vine that goes with which game/conversation you’d like to participate in! If none of these tickle your fancy, feel free to simply talk about whatever the hell you want or send in some requests and I’ll try to get to what I can 😊 (because it’s my show, not yours).
This sleepover will begin on midnight Central Standard Time of Friday July 9th and carry over until Monday July 12th at 11:59pm Central Standard Time. But more than likely I’ll still continue to answer if people still want to send stuff in
Feel free to send multiple asks - you won’t be a bother at all! I hope you all enjoy my stupid little idea and please know I love you all so incredibly much and am so fuckin grateful for you 💖. Under the read more are the things we can chat about!
⛓Don’t kinkshame me. Kinkshaming is my kink. - Interested to know what I think about a kink? Send it in and I’ll rate it using this scale! (I won’t actually kimkshame you, no worries!)
go away | no | rather not | I dunno | I guess | sure | yes | FUCK yes | oh god you don’t even know | right here, right now
⚠️Road work ahead? Uh, yeah. I sure hope it does. - Curious about what I have cooked up in my wips? Now is your time to ask! I will post a blurb, quote, portion, or working title of something I’ve got cooking up!
🐓Look at all those chickens! - Ask me for a picture of my dog, or better yet, share a picture of your pet with me!
🛹So no head? - FMK (anything goes…I know I will regret saying that)
👬And they were roommates! Oh my god they were roommates. - Pick an AU and a character to go along with it and I’ll write you a drabble! Now is your time to send in any request you’ve been itching to see. (I will try my hand at basically any AU/trope and I write for most C Evans & Seb Stan characters, but I’d be willing to branch out to other marvel characters!)
Here are a few prompt lists if you need help
📖I’m Jared I’m 19 and I never fuckin learned how to read - Send me a fic you want me to read! It can be yours or just one you’re a fan of. You could also ask me for a fic rec and I’ll send you one from my list!
🎭When there’s too much drama at school all you gotta do is walk awayeyayye - Having problems you wanna talk about? Lay it on me and I’ll be here to listen or I can give you some advice if you want it❤️
💞I love you bitch. I ain’t gon never stop loving you, bitch. - Need some positivity today? Let me HYPE YOU UP.
🚔This is the comedy police, the jokes too funny! - Send a meme or request a meme! I will also share jokes, videos, tik toks, or suggestions of things I like/find funny!
👨‍❤️‍💋‍👨I really do love working here, it’s just, we all have a lot of laughs. - Since we get along so well, ask me to cast my mutuals! Anything goes - characters, shows, vines, tik toks, foods, and more. You can also use this one for would you rather, ships, and other fun games!
💁🏻‍♂️What the fuck is up Kyle? - What did you say dude?? Tell me about yourself and I’ll ship you with a character. Or if you want, tell me who you ship me with!
⛪️I want a church girl who go to church, and read her bible - Interested in a curated playlist? Give me an idea and i'll try to come up with a mini playlist for you! Whether it’s a character or tell me about yourself and I’ll try to come up with something maybe you would like.
Tagging some mutuals who may be interested 🥰
@sunshinebuckybarnes @thanksforallthesushi @wastingmylifeonbritishtv @coffeebucko @babycap @blackberrybucky @belladonnabarnes @clints-lucky-arrow @electricbarnes @mischievous-barnes @buckybarneschokeme @buckys-blue-eyes @vanillanaps @lokiscollar @babyboibucky @fvryroads @xxindiglow @suchababie @divine-mistake @theyoutubedork @ritesofreverie @sableseb @buckycuddlebuddy @bibbidibobbidibucky @darlingsteve @lookiamtrying @sweeterthanthis @msmarvelwrites @navybrat817 @animehearteyes
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davidkendall · 2 years
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*Rubs sleep out of eyes, stumbles over to lap-top*
“Oh, @palmtreepalmtree mentioned me in a post....what’s all this then?......Oh geez, it’s one of THOSE......but it IS PTPT asking, so.....”
*crack knuckles and wiggles fingers anticipatorially*
***
Yeah, I don’t do these “Tell us more!” things too often, either, because I figure if anyone wanted to know, they’d ask.  But, I’m trying to be less curmudgeonly, so I’ll try to answer without seeming like TOO much of a jerk:
Apparently, there’s rules:
Rules: answer these questions and tag some blogs you are contractually obligated to get to know better.
QUESTIONS:
Name: I mean, it’s right there in the URL. No big secret .....
Sign: Saggy the Archer. (I’m getting that on a shirt one day.)
Height: Used to be 6′.  Doc says I’m shrinking, and it’s normal.  Now 5′11″.  I protest this development vehemently.
Time: Noon-ish on the East Coast of the US
Birthday: Yeah, I don’t share that, and the only reason I “celebrate” at all is the missus insists on commemorating the day.  I know; I’ve got emotional baggage left over from childhood, yadda yadda yadda.  It’s just a day, and it happened long enough ago to make me a Certified Old Dude.
Favourite bands/artists:  Far too many to name.  Everyone from John Denver to Bruce Springsteen, from Beethoven to John Williams to Mike Post.
Last movie: Re-watched Revenge of the Sith for the first time since it came out.  Still don’t like it; the only saving grace is Ewan McGregor
Last show: We’re actually watching Nashville, which was on TV about 10 years ago and we’re finally getting around to it on Hulu. It’s decent, soap-opera-ish fun, with country music sprinkled liberally throughout.
When I created this blog: 2008.
What I post: Lots of reblogs of anything that catches my eye. An occasional original thought. Dad jokes, because it’s the law for dads to share them.
Last thing I googled: "tongue sandwich” because I was explaining how my parents tried to get us to eat beef tongue for dinner when I was a kid, and they used to actually sell tongue sandwiches in delis back in the day. 
Other blogs: None active anymore; just this one.  Of course, there’s my Twitch stream (4 streams a week) and my Podcast (a new episode every week), so if you REALLY want to get to know me, those are the places to go. (You can ask for the links if you’re at all interested.)
Do I get asks: Occasionally. Always welcome, never required.
Following: I dunno.  A lot of folks I find interesting. Some, sadly, have just quietly disappeared, and I wonder what happened to them. What, you want me to look up an actual number? That takes, like, effort.
Followers: I dunno. Again, looking things up is SO much effort.
Average hours of sleep: when I was working, 5-6 hours a night, no problem. Now, 7, and it makes a WORLD of difference in your life.
Instruments: Used to play trumpet; can pick out a tune on a piano and a couple chords on guitar. Don’t take any of them seriously anymore.
What I'm wearing: I mean, the uniform of the day for me these days is jeans and a t-shirt. If I’m feeling fancy, I might throw on an old polo shirt with an actual collar.
Dream job: Radio DJ was the dream, which I did years ago. But like any dream, the reality has it’s down-side too, which I also learned.
Dream trip: Before Covid, it was Ireland. Since Covid, any trip without worrying about bringing a mask and catching Covid is the dream. Seriously, everywhere we go, Covid is front-and-center. Maybe I’m too freaky about it, but I can’t seem to help it.
Nationality: My parents always said “We’re Americans.”  Heritage, family history, roots, were completely unimportant to them, for reasons they never made clear and, with them gone, which I’ll never know. Over the years, I learned, through bits and pieces of information at family gatherings, that there’s some Welsh, English, German, and Russian in the mix, but who came from where, and how, and why, and when - I have no idea.
Favourite songs: Impossible to answer because music is so mood-dependent.
Last book I read: I haven’t read anything truly memorable in a while. I know I just finished a book about two weeks ago, but can’t for the life of me remember it. Just started one of those David Baldacci page-turner-specials a couple days ago (Long Road to Mercy), which is readable, but which I’m sure I’ll forget a week after I’m done.
3 fictional universes:  So, Star Trek, because that’s the first “fictional universe” I became aware of, and it still gives me hope that one day we (meaning, “humans”) can get to a point in our development like that. And, Star Wars, because who doesn’t want to be Han Solo? And then Middle Earth, because if I can’t be Han Solo, I may as well try to be Gandalf.
Oh, as for tagging folks, first, let me tell you - this takes time to do! So I don’t really want to make anyone feel burdened. And here’s the thing (and this is the way my mind works), if I tag two or three (or six or seven) of my mutuals who I really want to hear about, I don’t want anyone who I didn’t tag to be upset or feel left out, so I’m afraid of not tagging everyone. I also don’t want anyone to feel like they HAVE to do it.  (Yeah, that’s why I rarely do these - TOO MUCH PRESSURE!) So, any mutuals who haven’t done this, I’m tagging you because I really DO want to know more, and I don’t want to leave anyone out.
Alright, that was WAY too much effort.  Time for a nap.
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itskateak · 4 years
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Mint Ice Cream & Bubblegum Kisses - Chapter Six
(Bucky Barnes x Single Dad!Reader)
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Chapter Summary: Bucky offers to help Y/N take Peter Parker and Angelica out for the day since they've been causing chaos and getting into trouble. The hiking trail behind the compound seems like the perfect place.
Word Count: 3.8K
Warnings: Some Language (Sam and Bucky were military men shh), Sam Wilson being a great friend and actual character instead of a 2D support, Anxiety attack, Mentions of time-correct homophobia, Fluff, Sam and Bucky being Bros, Sam Wilson being an Ally
A/N: For those who don't know, my best friend is in the hospital and I had to take a break from being online and writing for a bit. He's doing great right now and is getting much better :) - also, I know I have a thing for Bucky and that log crossing a river. Okay just let it happen. It's cute. 
And as a final side note, I really hope I’m putting more character into Sam Wilson. I wanted to expand on Bucky and Sam’s friendship more in this chapter and to build Sam as an actual character. I’ve read countless stories where he’s just a prop to get Bucky and the reader together or to just be Best Friend to Bucky and go along with anything. Sam Wilson is his own person and I really, really hope that he’s got some life in him in this one. Feedback on that would be nice if anyone wants to give it :)
Taglist is open! PM me, send an ask, or @ me on a chapter to let me know you’d like to be tagged! Strikethrough means I couldn’t tag you, but I will send you a message with a link to the new chapter when I update. :)
Masterlist
✿°•∘ɷ∘•°✿ ... ✿°•∘ɷ∘•°✿ ... ✿°•∘ɷ∘•°✿ 
Y/N checked his messages quickly, head tilted as he waited for it to update. Over weekends, he decided to work three hours each day to make sure nothing important and time-sensitive came in. He was close to the end of those three hours, which wasn't eventful at any point. Just low-level information relating to other movements that he'd already taken note of earlier that week.
He watched the few messages come in and glanced over them. Nothing seemed to be important other than Gamora saying that they would be stopping by to drop off Peter Quill for a recovery period. Something about an injury he gained through his own stupidity. He responded with a confirmation and said that Monday afternoon would be best since the landing strip would be clear.
"Do you have a minute?" Bucky called from the doorway. He smiled, but it looked a little forced. His posture was closed off and he looked physically tense.
"Always. What's up?" Y/N pushed away from his desk and closed the programs on his screen since he didn't need them anymore.
"Uh...I'm kind of...having an anxiety attack or something." Bucky said though it sounded more like he was questioning himself. He ducked his head sheepishly for a moment. "And Steve and Sam are not here and I dunno what to do."
"Oh. Okay." Y/N was taken by surprise for a moment. "Uh, come on in. Let's see if we can calm you down."
Bucky nodded and sat rigidly on the edge of the couch, his arms wrapping around his stomach. His fingers bunched up the fabric of his shirt and he gasped suddenly. He cracked a slight smile and snorted. "Didn't realize I was holding my breath."
"Breathing's important, Bucky. Do you know what set this off?" Y/N asked, pulling his chair up to the side of his desk and giving his full attention to Bucky.
"Loud noise. Not even sure what it was. It took me off-guard and...then I fell off the obstacle course." Bucky grimaced and took a deep breath, his eyes closing for a moment. "I...have a fear of fallin'. Ever since I fell off the train."
"Is it the height or the feeling of falling itself?" 
"The feel. I hate it." Bucky wrinkled his nose up in disgust. "I can still remember the feeling of my stomach in my throat."
"Hey, don't think about that. No need to get yourself even more worked up." Y/N paused, trying to find a random question to distract him with for a little bit. Maybe taking his mind off the things causing him anxiety would help calm him down. "Tell me about something Steve did in school. Did he ever get into big trouble?"
"Oh, yeah. This one time - it was like sixth grade, I think - he nearly got us suspended for a week. Johnny Sarsburg, a boy in our class who picked on Stevie for being short, was this tall and burly kid. Real jerk of a guy." Bucky moved his arms and laced his hands together. He leaned forward, resting his forearms on his thighs. "One day, Steve got fed up with all the nicknames. Shorty Stevie, Munchkin Man...they went on and on. So, Stevie stood up to him. Thank God I was there, though."
"Don't tell me he tried to kick this kid's ass." 
"He tried to kick the kid's ass." Bucky nodded with a tone full of disappointed frustration.
"Oh, no." Y/N snickered behind his hand. 
"So, it was recess and Johnny came up to us. Stevie tried to hide behind me for a second, but I shoved him away. Johnny started picking at him and picking at him. Steve straightened up and clenched his fists, looked Johnny in the eye, and said: I may be short, but I'll always be a bigger man than you." Bucky laughed, breaking out into a smile for the first time. He ran a hand through his hair. 
"He didn't!" Y/N could see Steve Rogers, the man who had no regard for his own personal safety and hated bullies, doing something so ridiculous but just so...Steve.
"He did! Johnny didn't like that so much, so he cocked back his fist and came at Steve. Stevie tried to fight back, but he really wasn't a fighter back then. Just looking at a running track could make him break into an asthma attack and thinking about lifting a book could've snapped his spine."
Y/N snickered, shaking his head. Bucky was looking far more relaxed than he did when he came in. His shoulders weren't rigid and he wasn't gasping for breath. Though, it looked like his hands were slightly trembling still. "So, how'd it turn out?"
"At some point, I grabbed Steve around the waist and tried to haul him away. But Johnny didn't like that either, so he went after me. Now, I was a bit of a troublemaker so I knew how to fight. I wasn't lookin' to get into trouble, but Stevie had dragged me into a mess. Had to clean it up, like I do now." Bucky winked and chuckled. "The teachers had to come break it up and we had to explain what happened. Johnny was suspended for a week and our parents said they'd punish us at home, so we got off easy." 
"Even at home?"
"Oh, no. My dad was pissed and Stevie's mother almost hung him out with the laundry. But at least we weren't suspended like Johnny was." He leaned back against the couch and sighed. "Did you just distract me?"
"Maaaaybe. How're you feeling?" Y/N laughed and checked the clock. His time was up which meant the rest of the day was his to do whatever he wanted.
"Better. Not like I'm choking on my own air, at least. I'm still wired, though." Bucky held his right hand up to show how it was still shaking a bit.
"Wanda told me about a hiking trail behind the compound. We could go check that out and get Peter and Angelica outside for a bit. If you're up for that, of course." Y/N offered. He secretly hoped Bucky would take him up on the offer. He wanted the chance to talk to him more when they were both completely sober.
"That sounds...great, actually. Besides, I don't think you could wrangle both of them on your own." He said with a teasing lilt and stood. "I'll find Peter and meet you downstairs."
"I need to shut my computers down first." Y/N pushed his chair back and moved his mouse to wake his monitors. "If you find my kid before I do, send her my way."
"Roger that."
✿°•∘ɷ∘•°✿ ... ✿°•∘ɷ∘•°✿ ... ✿°•∘ɷ∘•°✿ 
Peter was walking a few feet ahead with Angelica on his back, bouncing her every so often to make her squeal and laugh. There was a light breeze rustling through the branches of the trees, which were providing the right amount of shade from the late autumn sun. The weather was that perfect balance of warm and cool. Just right for a light jacket. The trail wasn't well used, evidence provided by the undergrowth creeping along the edges of the path, threatening to overtake it. 
Y/N and Bucky were casually talking as they followed the kids. The conversation flowed easily between them like they'd been friends for years. 
"So, she's how old, again?" Bucky asked, hitching his chin toward Angelica.
"Eight. Nine next Wednesday." Y/N smiled wistfully, watching his daughter shoot a bright smile at him over her shoulder. He'd been so afraid that this move would've negatively affected her and caused her to be miserable. But she had never looked happier or carefree. She'd always been a solemn little girl with many worries on her shoulders.
"She's growin' fast, huh?" Bucky smiled, too, shaking his head as another loud squeal floated back to them.
"Too fast. She's always gonna be my little girl, though." Y/N glanced up as a couple of birds flitted from one tree to the next. "I'm glad she's happy here and finding her place. She doesn't say it, but I know she feels like an outsider sometimes."
"Why's that?" Bucky asked, sinking his hands into his pockets.
"I know she feels out of place among friends a lot. The fact her mother isn't around and she doesn't have a second parent...some kids can be really mean about that." He sighed. "And it's not like that's her fault. But she feels that way and I don't know how to help her."
"Why would she think it's her fault?" Bucky stepped closer as if he knew the topic needed to be kept quieter to not disturb the girl a few feet ahead.
"I don't know where she got the idea, honestly. Her mother did leave a note when she left and part of the reason she left...well, Angelica wasn't exactly planned." Y/N muttered the last part to make sure it didn't reach his kid. He loved her, he really did. At first, he'd been terrified at the prospect of being a father when he wasn't ready. But the moment he held that little girl in his arms, he was smitten. "And her mother said some...nasty things in the letter about her."
"I can't imagine how that would've been for you." Bucky gave a sympathetic grimace. "Sorry, I didn't mean to bring up bad memories."
"No, it's okay. I don't talk about it much because it's in the past and we're doing great without that woman." He shrugged and smiled. "I kept the letter, though, as precautionary measures in case she ever decides to come back and fight for custody. I doubt that would happen, really, but the court system is so messed up and might not rule in favor of me despite the fact I've raised her."
"If a court of law can see how much you love that kid and how much she loves you and is happy with you and still not let her stay with you, then I might have to return to my vigilante days." Bucky joked, though he sounded and looked serious.
"Bucky, no."
"I'd do it."
"I know, but no." Y/N laughed and shook his head. "Thanks for the offer, but I think an appeal would work better."
"Okay, you have a point," Bucky said. "So, I've never asked but what got you on the team? Steve didn't tell me and Stark won't because he's still mad about game night five months ago."
"I caught four embezzlers in the compound by hacking into the hidden servers that keep backups of pretty much everything, even if it's been wiped from the main servers. I would've gotten away with it if I hadn't tripped the single silent alarm monitored by FRIDAY. Tony promoted me shortly after I handed the information over to Grace Stevens in accounting." Y/N explained with a smile. "I thought I was fired or being thrown in jail. Those were the most terrifying few minutes of my life."
Bucky whistled. "That's impressive. Even Nat couldn't get through Stark's security lines to retrieve deleted footage of him drunkenly singing karaoke in his lab."
"I might have to go digging for that to earn a favor from Nat." Y/N took his phone out and made a reminder, causing Bucky to start laughing. His eyes crinkled up at the corners with his bright smile. "Oh, Pete, be careful! That might be slippery!"
Peter was halfway across the large fallen tree trunk over the moderately moving river. He turned his head to listen to Y/N and nodded, shifting his grip on Angelica. He moved slower then, watching his footing to make sure they didn't fall.
"So, we're gonna cross that?" Bucky asked, eyeing the log warily. Falling. He hates falling. That's right, Y/N thought. Of course, he'd be uncomfortable with something like this because he might fall.
"I guess. Wanda said there's lakeside access across the river and down the path." Y/N stopped at the tree, watching to make sure the kids made it across safely. He trusted Peter, considering the kid was a literal superhero and gymnast, but he was also a dad and his Dad Instincts were kicking in. "You gonna be okay with crossing?"
"If I don't fall, I will," Bucky forced a smile, but Y/N could see the anxiety behind it. 
"Here, take my hand. We'll cross together and we'll go slow. I'll make sure you won't fall." Y/N held his hand out to Bucky and tried his best to ignore the small jolt of electricity that shot through his veins when Bucky accepted it. "Come on."
"If I fall, I'm dragging you with me," Bucky said with a joking tone, but there was a shake to his voice as he stepped onto the log after the man holding his hand.
"Valid." Y/N snorted before focusing on where he was putting his feet. He couldn't slip and risk giving Bucky a heart attack. He was trusting him to get him across this river safely. "If you need to stop at any point, just tell me and we can."
"Nope. Just keep moving even if I start to freeze up because if I stop, I won't move again." Bucky was able to flash a quick lopsided smile even though he was doing something that ultimately terrified him. 
"You got this, Bucky!" Angelica shouted from the other side, bouncing on her feet like a highly-caffeinated bouncy ball. "You're almost there!"
Y/N grinned to himself. Leave it to his kid to become a cheerleader for them without even knowing that Bucky really needed that encouragement. He swore his daughter had supernatural abilities of knowing what someone needed when they needed it. When she was much younger, there had been nights where he was stressed about making ends meet and she would crawl into his lap and hug him tightly until he forgot what was bothering him.
Lost in thought for just the brief moment spelled ruin for him. His foot slipped on a wet spot and he lost his balance.
Bucky grabbed his arm and pulled him back, keeping him steady until he regained his footing. He chuckled. "Jeez, Y/N. I thought you'd be saving me from falling and not the other way around."
"You're lucky I'm nice 'cause I would've just shoved you off this log and let you wash down the river." Y/N retorted though he couldn't keep his expression stern and a smile broke out. "So, that spot's slippery. Be careful."
"Oh, I was just planning to plant my foot on it and run the rest of the way." Bucky teased, appearing way more at ease than Y/N expected he would. Maybe that's what happens when someone has to save their non-fearful friend from falling.
Once they were on the other side and on solid ground, there was a pause of silence between everyone before they all burst into laughter.
"Mr. Barnes, your face when Mr. L/N slipped! You were so surprised!" Peter bent over, trying to catch his breath. 
"Y/N, I thought you were a goner for a moment. And if I hadn't already had a hand on you, I probably would've just let you fall." Bucky was barely able to speak through his laughter, smile so wide his eyes were crinkled up. 
"Oh, I see how it is!" Y/N acted offended. "See if I ever team with you on game nights again."
"Ooh, he's serious." Angelica giggled, wiping tears from her eyes. 
"I'm sorry, Y/N but I was not risking falling just to save you if I hadn't already had your hand." Bucky took deep breaths, also wiping his face with his jacket sleeve. 
"What happened to till the end of the line?" Peter asked, taking deep breaths. 
"That's a me and Steve thing. And even then, I'd just let his dumbass fall." Bucky winced. "Sorry, language."
Angelica grinned broadly with a mischievous glint in her eye. "Oh, don't worry. Papa swears a lot more than you might think. He thinks I don't hear  him mutter things under his breath, but I do."
"You little snitch!" Y/N exclaimed. "I can't believe you!"
"Oh no...Angelica, we gotta go!" Peter scooped Angelica up and dashed down the trail. Y/N started to give chase but slowed down as they turned the bend. 
Bucky followed at a slower pace, shaking his head in amusement. He caught up to the father who was straightening his jacket. "You're not going after them?"
"Nah. I just made them think there was an actual threat. They'll probably get all the way to the lake before they realize I'm not actually chasing them." Y/N grinned. "So, want to tell me about that game night five months ago?"
"It started when Nat brought vodka back from a mission in Russia and decided not to tell us it was hundred-proof..."
✿°•∘ɷ∘•°✿ ... ✿°•∘ɷ∘•°✿ ... ✿°•∘ɷ∘•°✿ 
"Hey, Buck. How's your day?" Sam asked as he entered the training room with a towel around his neck and a water bottle in hand. "Sorry that Steve and I dipped on you."
"Don't worry about it. It's alright," Bucky grunted before setting down the set of weights he'd been lifting. "My day was pretty good. Except when Stark accidentally set off an explosion in the lab while I was running the obstacle course. Scared the hell out of me and then I fell off."
"Shit, man. You okay?" Sam placed his water bottle and towel on a bench near Bucky. "I know you don't like falling and loud noises so that just seems brutal."
"My adrenaline kept it low but I still started to freak out after I cleaned up." He admitted before taking a drink of his own water and using his shirt to wipe some of the sweat from his forehead. "Y/N helped me out with that."
"You went to Y/N? Why not Bruce or Wanda? Hell, even Nat?" Sam arched his brow and there was a hint of something behind his eyes.
"Dunno. He's nice, ya know? I figured he'd have some experience with that kind of stuff. Having a kid would teach you how to calm someone down when they're freaking out and I've seen him chill Angelica out faster than she could even process why she was upset." Bucky said, sitting down on a bench to give himself a break. He'd been in the training room for an hour already and it was about time to take a breather. "After that, we took Angelica and Pete out on that hiking trail Wanda found just to get them outside since they were causing trouble and everyone needed a break."
"Hey, as long as you found a way to calm down and not have a panic attack, I won't knock it. Happy for you, man. You're doing really good recently." Sam started to set up the machine he liked to use. Can't have a tree without the trunk, you know what I'm saying? Sometimes Bucky really didn't like Sam, but he was a great friend and great company when he wasn't being an annoying shit. But then again, he could be an annoying shit when he wanted to be. "Proud of you, man. Long road, but you're sticking with us."
"Yeah, yeah. Save the sappy shit, would you?" Bucky leaned his head back against the wall, taking deep breaths. "The hike was nice. Though Y/N almost fell off the log when we were crossing the river. I caught him before he did, but if he hadn't been holding my hand, I would've let him fall."
"You told him about your issue with falling?" Sam straddled the bench and rested his forearms on his thighs. "Dude, it took you like eight months to tell me about that and he's been here four months."
"Don't take it personally, Wilson." Bucky shrugged with a smile. "He's just got that calming feel to him. He's easy to trust and he's just really nice."
"And you were tellin' me to quit with the sappy shit? Do you hear yourself?" Sam cracked a smile as well. "I like Y/N, too. He's a good fit for the team."
Bucky nodded, agreeing. There had been something missing in the team dynamic for a while that no one could quite name or place, but Y/N and his kid had certainly brought it. The game night had really shown some of Y/N's full personality away from his daughter, though Bucky liked having Angelica around a lot. She was bubbly and sweet and brought a little bit of light on his bad days.
But Y/N...Y/N was just so thoughtful and selfless. It was obvious when he'd walked into his office that Y/N had no idea how to help him and was taken aback, but he'd helped him anyway. He showed genuine interest in the story Bucky had been telling him and even invited him along to an outing. They hadn't exactly hung out outside of the team nights and work hours. It was nice and he liked the idea of getting to see Y/N more often out of that stuff.
"Wait, don't tell me...Barnes, do you have a crush on Y/N?" Sam asked with a cocky grin.
"What? No!" Bucky said far too quickly, his face starting to flush. He was lucky he was already a little red from training, but Sam knew otherwise. His grin widened.
"You totally do!"
Bucky went to defend himself again but he sighed and turned his head away while Sam started to snicker. "Fine. Maybe I do a little."
"Man, I didn't take you for one to like guys," Sam said.
"Is...that an issue?" Bucky asked warily, his heart starting to flutter in his chest. For most of his life, he'd shoved that part of him aside and hidden it. Sure, he fooled around with a couple of guys in the forties but it never went very far. And war made people do desperate things. But he was worried that even now, he'd have to keep that part of him tucked away and ignore it.
"Hell, no. My best friend in college was the most flamboyant gay guy I've ever met. Smart as a whip and a beautiful musician. I don't give a shit, but I don't wanna hear about all the details. And that goes for women, too. That stays private, man." Sam wrinkled his nose up and it made Bucky chuckle. "I don't know how it was back then, but people are a lot more accepting now than they were. They legalized same-sex marriage a few years back. And if anyone gives you shit about it, I'll kick their asses."
"Thanks, Sam. That means a lot." Bucky smiled. "But if you tell anyone that I have a thing for Y/N, I'll kick you off the helicarrier again."
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Taglist: @shadowolf993​ @supernaturalwintersoldier​ @booty-ass-hoe​ @fightmemacbeth​ @pastel-boy-sungjae​ @unsure-username​ @myybebe​ (it works!! ^-^)
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simplybakugou · 4 years
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How can I love the heartbreak, you’re the one I love
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↝ Years have passed since Bakugou met you and yet you’re all he ever thinks about. As he reconnects with you after all this time, he can’t help but reminisce on all the moments you spent with him, especially those suffocating and troubling days in the hospital in room 405.
SONG: How can i love the heartbreak, you’re the one i love by AKMU
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⋆ PAIRING: bakugou x female!reader ⋆ WARNINGS/TAGS: swearing; angst; hospitals ⋆ WORD COUNT: 14636
A/N: So I initially was going to make this a fic but that shit FLOPPED so i’m just breaking this into different sections. Also, I’ve spent WEEKS trying to write this so please let me know what you think! (plus this is the longest thing I’ve ever written omg). 
It’s based off of AKMU’s song. This song is so beautiful and the link to the song is here. I also decided to remake my short fic about terminally ill s/o from a while ago and incorporate that in as well. 
Also thank you @bnhabadass​ for your editing suggestions and especially thank you to @k-atsukidayo​. I love you Fey, and thank you again for giving me such amazing suggestions and making this so much better! 
Tagging: @freckledoriya​
✐posted 05.11.2020✐
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❝I purposefully take a few steps back, I look at you walking without me
There is a void beside you upon the gray road you look back❞
The weather was perfect. The breeze was subtle but still strong enough to send chills down Bakugou’s spine as he closed the door to his home behind him. He moved to shove his hands in his pockets, having to put one arm up to shield his eyes from the sun glaring down at him. He sighed as he continued along the brick path, squinting down the road.
The path was crowded and filled with all kinds of people: parents walking with their kids, couples walking hand in hand, and dogs roaming around with their owners. They were all looking up at the same thing: the cherry blossoms. The wind was perfect in assisting the blossoms as the fallen flower petals danced rhythmically against the breeze. They travelled down the path, as if they were leading Bakugou to you.
A few kids in U.A.’s uniform began running down the path, running after the petals. Bakugou couldn’t help but move the corners of his lips upwards, reminiscing on a time that felt like centuries ago.
The time when you were always by his side.
~~~
Bakugou’s leg wouldn’t stop shaking vigorously. His arms were crossed over his chest as he constantly kept checking his watch. You were late…
��If this shitty girl doesn’t show up in the next five minutes I’m getting the fuck out of here,” he grumbled under his breath.
As if you were summoned by his pure rage, you pushed open the doors to the little cafe, scanning the tables to find a certain enraged blonde. After finally locating him, you bowed your head slightly, clapping your hands together. “Forgive me! I’m really sorry.”
Bakugou felt his brow twitch. “You better have a good fucking reason for making me wait. You were the one who wanted help with studying.”
You slung your bag onto the chair next to you, sitting yourself down beside it. You reached into your bag, pulling something out. Leaning on the table, you rested your elbows on the surface. “Have you been to the brick path near school?”
“What?”
“Give me your hand.”
“What the fuck are you trying to do?”
“Just give me your hand!”
Bakugou sighed, rolling his eyes as he complied, extending his hand out in front of him. You placed the item, covering it with your hand cupping over it. “Well, that brick path has all of these beautiful cherry blossom trees. And I was just looking at them ‘cause they finally bloomed and I thought of you!”
You lifted your hand, revealing a few blossoms that you had plucked. Bakugou felt his cheeks burn up, looking the other way to avoid your gaze. “Whatever. Why the fuck would you think of me while looking at some fucking flowers?”
You shrugged, smiling. “I dunno. You were the first thing that came to mind.”
Bakugou moved his hand over, letting the flowers fall onto the table. He opened his English textbook, flipping to the middle. “Let’s just get this over with. We’re in our final year now, there’s no time to fuck around.”
***
A few months had passed since that day that you and Bakugou were preparing for midterms. You kept spending a majority of your evenings with him, using the excuse of needing his intelligence and tutelage in order to pass your classes. He would never admit it, but he enjoyed your company no matter how annoying you could get sometimes. You were just always so joyous, like you could beat the sun’s rays with your own light.
Aizawa continued teaching the class as everyone diligently paid attention. Months ago, a time in which Bakugou hadn’t spent so much time by your side, he would’ve been able to pay attention as well. But here he was, his eyes glued to your empty desk. You had asked to go to the bathroom in the middle of class. An hour had passed and you were still gone.
Aizawa looked at the clock, noticing Bakugou’s busy eyes glued to your desk. He then realized how long you had been gone. “Ashido, go check on Y/N,” Aizawa said, his back to the class as he wrote something on the chalkboard.
Mina nodded, getting up and leaving the classroom. Minutes had passed and Mina hadn’t returned either. Bakugou felt his leg shake up and down as his anxiousness only grew. What the hell is happening?
Mina finally came back, a panicked look on her face. Aizawa recognized this, pulling her out in the hallway and closed the door so the class couldn’t eavesdrop on the conversation. 
“What’s that about?” Jirou asked from her seat beside Bakugou.
Kaminari shrugged from beside her. “I’m not sure but it doesn’t look good. Hopefully nothing bad happened to Y/N.”
The rest of class went painstakingly slow. Mina couldn’t focus for the remainder of class either, her eyes fixated on the clock. Everyone wanted to ask so many questions but refrained from doing so. Finally class had ended and Bakugou didn’t hesitate to approach Mina. Kirishima, Kaminari, and Sero followed, crowding around Mina’s desk.
“What the fuck is going on?” Bakugou demanded.
“Yeah, is Y/N okay?” Kirishima asked.
Mina had her head down, hesitant as she began to speak. “I thought Y/N was just sick which was why she was taking such a long time. But when I went in, she collapsed on the floor. I think she hit her head when she fell, too, because there was blood--”
“Where is she now?” Bakugou interrupted.
“Recovery Girl transferred her to Meijo Hospital a few blocks down,” Mina responded.
Bakugou didn’t hesitate to run out of class, his feet moving faster than he could control as if they were moving on their own. He could faintly hear his friends calling out for him but he ignored them and managed to get out of the building as fast as he possibly could, his eyes locked onto the silhouette of the tall hospital building. 
He couldn’t understand why he felt something inside of him snap when he had heard that you were hurt. After all, you transferred to U.A. at the beginning of your final year. You were an outsider and you didn’t know if you would be able to assimilate into class A. But, fortunately for you, Mina was the first friend you made, inviting you to hang out with her friends often. Kirishima, Kaminari, and Sero practically opened their arms to you when you first met them. But your eyes were always drawn to the sulky blonde headed boy with the permanent frown on his face. The day you met Bakugou, you made it your mission to pester him and get close to him. Initially, Bakugou had found you to be the most irritating person he had ever had to deal with. But as the time went by and you were practically always by his side to the point where your classmates thought you two were dating, he began to oddly enjoy your company.
Bakugou ignored the stares he got from bystanders as they stared at the kid in the U.A. uniform running towards the hospital. Once he did reach it, Bakugou went straight to the front desk. “Is (L/N) (F/N) here?”
“One second,” the receptionist said, looking through her files. “Yes, she’s in room 405.”
Bakugou immediately moved towards the elevators until he noticed the long line of people patiently waiting. He cursed under his breath, running towards the stairs. His feet moved as fast they could, skipping steps all the way up until the fourth floor. His eyes began roaming rapidly at the numerous rooms in the hallway, finally reaching 405. He slid open the door, panting as he attempted to catch his breath. His eyes widened at the sight before him.
You were sitting upright on the hospital bed, a bandage around your forehead. An IV drip was attached to your forearm. You flinched at the sudden sound of the door sliding open, turning your head to the source of the sound. Your face lit up at the sight of your closest friend visiting you, your lips turning upwards. “Katsuki.”
Bakugou sighed, finally able to catch his breath. He glared at you. “You fucking idiot. What the hell happened? Why’d you collapse?”
You smiled sheepishly, rubbing the back of your neck. “It seems I overworked myself. My quirk takes a lot out of me, you know.”
Your quirk, Flame, was pretty simple, just being able to expel flames from your body. But with finals and graduation creeping around the corner not to mention that you had only transferred to U.A., you felt that you had pushed yourself to keep up with everyone around you. Ignoring your health was foolish but you wanted to become a pro hero even if it was the last thing you could do.
“But I promise that I’m fine. I promise that I’ll get better before you know it.” Bakugou rolled his eyes at your foolishness. You patted the cushion of the chair that was beside your bed. “Can you stay for a while and tell me what I missed in class, Katsuki?”
“How many fucking times do I have to tell you to stop calling me by my first name? You’re the only one who does that shit!” You snickered, ignoring his words. Bakugou sighed, complying anyways as he sat down. He dropped his book bag beside him and pulled out his notes and spent the rest of his visiting hours helping you as best as he could.
~~~
Bakugou smiled at the kids in their U.A. uniforms as the memory of the two of you in that hospital room replayed over and over in his mind. It was the start to a new budding romance and yet you were damned from the start.
If Bakugou could take it all back, he sometimes thinks that he would. The pain and suffering he had to endure once meeting you was a feeling he wouldn’t wish upon even his worst enemy. But everytime he thinks he would’ve been better off without meeting you, he knew he wasn’t fooling himself with such a lie. You were always on his mind ever since the day he met you back in U.A., like you had casted a spell on him since the beginning.
And after all these years had passed, you were still charming him. You’re still the only thing on his mind.
❝Just then, I realized that I can never leave your side
No matter the distance and the problems that we faced, it's easier to fight against than the thought of letting go
So, tell me now, how can I love the heartbreak when you’re the one I love
To give you up because of love or from the heartache and pain, oh my heart, that's something I can never do❞
As Bakugou walked down the brick road, his phone vibrated in his pocket. He pulled it out, answering the call and brought the device to his ear.
“What?”
“Hello to you, too,” Kirishima said with a laugh. “I was just calling ‘cause I don’t see you at the agency today. Kaminari, Sero, and I were coming by to see if you wanted to catch up after all this time. It has been two years since we’ve talked about our lives other than work, ya know.”
“I took the day off. I’m gonna spend it with Y/N.”
Kirishima paused for a moment and sighed. “After all these years, you’re still ditching us to see her.” His tone was light so Bakugou knew he was only teasing him. “I get it. It’s been years since you’ve seen her. We’ll catch up another time.”
“Thanks… for understanding.”
“Don’t mention it, man. Say hi to her for me.” As he hung up, Bakugou couldn’t help but feel a strange tug in his chest, as if there was a fire burning inside him. Everytime he thought about you, you always made him feel that way and the way you always “promised” to get better. Promise. That was your favorite word. You always made promises that you knew you couldn’t keep. Bakugou couldn’t help but reminisce on all the times you made such foolish lies. You were better off becoming an actress than being a hero, being too foolish to be a hero. A foolish hero that cared more about others than her own health.
~~~
“Don’t forget the food!” Mitsuki yelled from the kitchen as she pushed piles of bento wrapped in furoshiki into her son’s hands. “Oh! And she’s probably bored in there so I got her some magazines.” She opened up Bakugou’s bookbag and shoved the magazines inside.
Bakugou groaned. “You’re going overboard. She’s gonna think I’m fucking insane.”
Mitsuki flicked her son upside the head. “No, she’s gonna see how much you care for her. Now get out!”
She practically shoved her son outside, slamming the door shut. Bakugou grumbled under his breath holding the furoshiki in one hand and shoving his other hand in his pocket. The sun was beaming down on him and the cloth in his hand made his palm sweat. The several children playing around outside irritated Bakugou, especially when they started to stare at the now infamous class A hero in training. Nevertheless he ignored them, thankful that Meijo Hospital was so close to his house.
He entered the building, the nurses and receptionists greeting him as he was now a frequent visitor. They whispered amongst themselves, fascinated that among your classmates and friends, Bakugou was the only one who never failed to see you every single day, no matter how busy he was with finals and graduation.
Once the elevator reached the fourth floor, it was like second nature by now for Bakugou’s feet to take him to room 405. He slid the door open, surprised to see your bed empty. One of the nurses turned around as she was changing the sheets on your bed. “Oh, Bakugou. If you’re looking for Y/N, she’s on the roof.”
Bakugou was puzzled. “The roof? The hell is she doing up there?”
The nurse laughed at his reaction. “She wanted some fresh air. She’s been holed up in this room for months so we let her spend some time up there.”
Bakugou nodded, closing the door as he made his way back to the elevator. Truthfully, it had been months since you were first admitted to the hospital. No one told Bakugou why you were in there, and everytime he asked you about it, you would quickly change the subject. It was quite obvious that there was something you were hiding, especially since even the nurses and doctors never told Bakugou anything. There was no way that overexerting your quirk could make you hospitalized for all this time.
Bakugou pushed open the door to the roof with his foot, shielding his eyes with his free hand from the beaming sun. He could barely see from the sun’s fierce rays but through slit and squinted eyes, he could make out your back. You were facing away from him, looking down below the building. He walked closer to you, setting down his bag and the food gently so he didn’t scare you. Leaning forward, he rested his forearms on the ledge on the concrete, looking down at what you were engrossed in. 
The height of the enormous hospital building allowed you to see for miles upon miles of buildings and freeways. U.A. was at the epicenter of all of the attention, the school standing tall amongst the smaller buildings. But amongst all of the chaos of the city, there was a brick path, which was elongating throughout the city. Among that path, rows upon rows of cherry blossom trees decorated the edges as if meticulously laid out like ornaments.
You finally took notice of Bakugou's existence, flinching a little at his sudden presence. “Katsuki? I didn’t even hear you come.”
Bakugou gestured to the view below you. “Probably ‘cause you were too focused on this.”
You smiled, resting one forearm on the ledge due to your other arm being connected to the IV drip. “It just looks so pretty. The trees stand out so much, especially all the pink petals floating around.”
“Only you’d pay attention to something so dumb.”
You jutted out your bottom lip in a pout. “You’re just a debbie downer and can’t appreciate life in all its glory.”
Bakugou rolled his eyes at you, but noticed how your knees began to tremble as you gripped tighter onto the IV stand for support. Before your legs caved in, nearly crashing onto the concrete, Bakugou sprung quickly into action. He caught you, protected you, one arm grabbing your hip and the other circling your lower back. You were flustered, not only from the sudden contact, but from the weakness of your limbs.
Bakugou fought off the urge to look away from how close the two of you were, focusing on maneuvering you over to one of the benches that were laid out on the rooftop. “Are you okay?”
You blinked, as if you were taking yourself out of a trance from the shock. “I’m… I’m fine.”
Bakugou felt his cheeks burn up as he thought about what he just did and as a way to take his attention from that, he decided to confront you with a question he so desperately wanted to know the answer to, “Why are you really here for? There’s no way using your quirk too much can make you fucking collapse like this.”
You pursed your lips together, wheeling the IV over to the side of the bench. “It’s actually complicated. I’ve always been sick since I was a kid so this happens sometimes.”
“Sometimes?”
You nodded. “It’s happened before but I always bounce back up, I swear. You don’t have to worry about me, Katsuki.”
Bakugou scoffed, looking the other way. “I didn’t say shit about me worrying. The others kept annoying me and asking questions about, s’all.”
You laughed, knowing Bakugou’s behavior all too well. “Speaking of, why’d you visit this time?”
“Alright, I’ll just fucking leave then--”
“No!” You said, laughing as you grabbed onto his forearm and pulled him back down next to you. Your touch was cold against his warm skin “I wasn’t complaining. I really do enjoy your company.”
“Tch, you better.” He leaned down and grabbed the furoshiki and his bookbag. “I didn’t have my old hag pack you all this food and take more notes for you for nothing.”
“Your mom cooked for me again?” You asked, your mouth watering already despite not even consuming Mitsuki’s delicious food yet. “You really don’t have to do all this for me, I’m alright, I swear.”
“‘Alright’ my ass. I’ve told you before that I don’t mind doing this and I’m not just gonna stop because you feel bad.” He pulled out his notebooks, ignoring your groans. Finals were around the corner and then came graduation. Bakugou, although he would never admit it to you, was concerned with what you were planning to do here on out. No matter how many times you tried to convince him and tell him that you were going to get better soon, he couldn’t believe you.
A gust of wind past as you felt your (H/C) locks sway along with its rhythm. The pages to Bakugou’s notebooks turned rapidly. You let out a gasp as the wind died down. “Look!”
The cherry blossoms from the path had blown its petals over with the wind. They fell softly and silently, as if they were snowflakes in the winter’s harsh conditions. But the sun contradicted this illusion as its ray lit up the petals like tiny pink fairy lights. You were smiling from ear to ear at the sight, cupping your hands together as an attempt to catch as many petals as you could. Bakugou watched on, feeling his heart rate increasing the more he laid his eyes on you.
You turned to him. “Close your eyes,” you commanded. 
Bakugou sighed, not having the energy to defy you and knowing that you were planning to do something with those petals. That was why your next actions shocked him more than he could have ever imagined. 
He heard you let out a deep sigh. “I’ve been wanting to do this for a long time ‘cause I was too scared to do it. But I’ve been feeling a little… brave now.”
Before Bakugou could let out the words “do what?” he sucked in a breath as he felt your warm lips plant themselves onto his own as you cupped his face in your cold hands. The wind continued to blow softly, your hair flowing along with it as the fruity smell of your hair engulfed his nostrils. Your kiss was gentle like your smile and Bakugou felt himself become hotter. Your lips were soft and warm, unlike your ice cold touch.
You pulled away, your face flushed as the gravity of your actions set into your mind. Bakugou felt his own face heat up as he began to realize what you had done, dropping the notebooks from his lap. His eyes were wide, his mouth agape in incredulity. You let out a snicker, immediately angering Bakugou.
“What the hell is so funny?” He asked, his cheeks flushed.
You shook your head. “You just looked so cute, Katsuki.”
“C-ute?” Bakugou whispered slowly in disbelief. You were unbelievable, mind-boggling at times to him. 
You sighed. “I just didn’t know how to thank you. But every time I tried thinking of a way, nothing came up so I decided to do that.”
You stared at Bakugou’s face for a minute, basking in his expression. For a second, you felt a tug in your chest, like you didn’t want to ever forget his expressive crimson eyes. You scooted closer to him on the bench and leaned over, wrapping your arms around his neck as best as you could from your position. Everything you did just sent utter confusion to Bakugou’s brain, his body feeling rigid against your touch. “I can’t thank you enough for everything you’ve done for me. If I’m being honest, I don’t know exactly when I’ll get better. It might be four months or four years, I don’t know.”
You pulled away from him, holding his hands in your own. He had callouses all over the palms of his hands but even though there were bumps and ridges on his skin, he felt so warm and soothing. “You don’t have to put up with this anymore. You can walk out right now, and I won’t think ill of you. You’re heading into the real world as a pro and you deserve to not have to worry about me.”
Bakugou felt his face become hotter, but not from shock or embarrassment this time. He felt angry with you. He was angered that despite everything he had done for you, the daily visits, the tutor sessions, or the lunch breaks with him, you felt as if he was ready to just walk away.
Bakugou parted his lips to say something but you shook your head. “You don’t have to say anything now, I’m serious. I honestly don’t know when I’ll get better. I have my family looking after me so you don’t have to worry about me. You should focus on finals and graduation and your future.”
His eyes stared back into your own, trying to decipher what was going through that head of yours. The things you said and did were all unfathomable and incomprehensible. It made things even harder for Bakugou to say anything. Only you would be the kind of person to kiss someone and then give them the option to walk out of your life.
Before Bakugou could even think another thought, the door to the rooftop entrance opened. Your nurse smiled at the two of you, pointing at her watch to indicate that it was time for your medicine. You nodded, using your IV stand as a crutch as you pulled yourself up to your feet. Bakugou stood up quickly, holding your forearm in his hand to steadily hold you up.
“Can you walk?” 
You rolled your eyes playfully. “Don’t underestimate me too much.”
Ignoring your words, Bakugou stood behind you, ready to catch you if you so happened to fall. He had his hand hovering over the small of your back as you walked back into the building. The nurse smiled at Bakugou as she put her hand to the IV stand. “I’m guessing we’ll see you tomorrow?”
“Uh, yeah.”
You smiled and waved back at him. “Thank you and your family for everything, Katsuki. And please consider what I said seriously.”
Bakugou watched as you and the nurse walked back to room 405, the sound of the door sliding open and close echoing through the hallway. He stayed there for a few moments before finally deciding to go back home. 
***
On any other day, Bakugou was able to fall asleep fairly quickly and early as he was unusually strict about his sleeping schedule. But tonight, his mind was whirring with an abundance of thoughts. And you were the only thing that kept popping up in his mind. He felt himself blush as he envisioned your lips on his over and over again. He threw the duvet off of him as he began to grow hot the more he saw your face. Bakugou got up and went to the bathroom; turned the sink on and splashed cold water onto his face.
Your words and voice kept echoing through his mind as well. He wished he could tell you how he felt and how angry he felt when you spoke to him as if you were running on borrowed time. But he didn’t get the chance to question you any further.
A few knocks came through from the opposite side of the door, snapping Bakugou out his trance as he opened the door. Masaru stood by the doorframe, a puzzled expression on his face. “Katsuki, what’re you doing up so late?”
“Couldn’t sleep,” Bakugou said curtly, flicking the light switch off and making his way back to his bedroom.
Masaru followed him, standing by the door as he watched his son sit on the edge of his bed and stare up at the ceiling. “Is something bothering you?”
“It’s nothing, just school stuff.”
“Is it about Y/N?” Bakugou looked back down at his father and Masaru smiled as he was able to correctly read his son. “I had a feeling something happened with her.”
Masaru walked inside and closed the door behind him, turning the light on. He sat beside Bakugou as his son continued staring at the space in front of him. “How’s she doing?”
Bakugou let out an exasperated sigh. “I can’t tell for sure. She’s not giving me a straight answer and it’s pissing me off. Like she’s keeping a huge secret from me.”
Bakugou paused for a moment, internally deciding whether or not to confide in his father. Deciding to do so, he glanced at Masaru momentarily. “I need advice.”
Masaru raised his brows slightly. He knew Bakugou as someone who always kept to himself and disliked others prying in his life. It was the first time he was coming forward and asking for something. “Of course, son! What’s wrong?”
“It’s about Y/N. She was being… nice...” Bakugou cleared his throat, not wanting to address the kiss, “she was being nice all day but all of a sudden she said some bullshit about giving me the option to walk out of her life and not have to worry about her. It’s all I can think about and it’s fucking pissing me off.”
“Why is it making you feel annoyed?”
Bakugou turned around to face his father, an irritated expression on his face. “Because I’ve been busting my ass off and helping her out all this time and she’s repaying me by saying she wants me to ‘think about my future.’ She’s acting like she’s gonna die tomorrow and she’s fucking giving up.”
“Hmm…” Masaru hummed, thinking for a moment before continuing. “Seems to me that she’s trying to spare your feelings.”
Bakugou furrowed his brows in confusion. “Spare my feelings?”
“I think it’s safe to assume that what Y/N is dealing with isn’t something that’s going to allow her to live her life normally like she used to a few months ago. This… illness that she’s dealing with must be long-term and she doesn’t want you to have to see her in her most vulnerable state. She wants you to focus on your life.”
Bakugou scoffed, his hands clenching into fists. “That idiot… why the fuck would I spend so much time visiting her and looking after her if I was gonna just walk away like a fucking moron? If she thinks she can just deal with this all without at least talking to someone then she’s a bigger idiot that I thought she was.”
“So you’re trying to say that you’re going to always be there for her no matter what?”
Bakugou hesitated, realization setting in as he began to understand the whirlwind of confused thoughts and feelings inside of him. “Yeah…”
Masaru smiled. “Then go tell her! It’s no good for you to just sit around and talk to me. The poor girl probably thinks you’re just leaving like that.”
Bakugou’s hands rested on his knees, fingers clenching around the fabric of his pants as he pondered momentarily. Everytime he attempted to figure out what to say around you, he couldn’t help but feel mentally aggravated. You were always confusing him and throwing curveballs at him to make him feel thirty different emotions at the same time. Bakugou turned to face his Dad once more. 
“I don’t know what the fuck I’m gonna say when I get there but I’ll try.” He got up, grabbing his hoodie as he made his way out. He stopped in the hallway, turning around. “Thanks… I guess.”
Masaru smiled as he watched his son grab his keys and leave the house. In all of the years he’s watched his only child grow, he’s never seen the amount of emotion and vigor Bakugou possessed until he was around you or talked about you. Even a girl he had known for only more than a couple of months had such an effect on him that even he didn’t realize what you were doing to him.
***
Bakugou opened the doors to the hospital, his chest rising up and down as he attempted to recollect himself after sprinting all the way here. The receptionist at the front desk looked at him with a concerned look. “Bakugou? What’re you doing here so late? Visiting hours just finished.”
Bakugou leaned on the counter. “Please let me see her. I just need a few minutes, not that long.” 
The woman looked weary, looking down at her clipboard but Bakugou wasn’t going to take no for an answer. “Five minutes. I just need to tell her something and I’ll leave. I swear.”
The woman sighed. “I’ll be in real trouble for this so please make it quick. Five minutes is all you get.”
Bakugou sighed in relief, running towards the stairs before the woman could even utter another word. He used his quirk to maneuver himself up quicker than normal and kicked open the door once he reached the fourth floor. He didn’t bother knocking on your door either, sliding the door open so quickly it clattered against the wall causing a loud clank. 
You jumped in your bed, dropping one of the notebooks Bakugou had given you. Sitting up, you were puzzled as to why he was here so late. “Katsuki, what’re you--”
“You’re a fucking idiot.”
You were taken aback, usually being accustomed to his abrasiveness. “What?”
He took a few steps towards you, standing directly in front of your bed. The proximity of his body to yours even made you flustered. “I don’t give a fuck if you’re sick. You think I didn’t realize that you were going through something serious after being hospitalized for months? There’s no way I’m leaving you now, not when you’re acting like you’re fine when you’re obviously having to deal with a shitty situation. And I don’t give a fuck about what you say or think, I’m gonna be here whether you like it or not.”
Bakugou continued breathing heavily, both from coming here at such a fast pace and from his own words that were spewing out of his mouth. Every other time he was around you, he didn’t know what the right thing to say was, always ending up second guessing himself. But that was every other time. He finally decided to go with his gut and tell you how he was feeling without thinking about the aftermath.
You smiled, laughter escaping your lips. The sound filled the room and Bakugou was confused. “Why… Why the hell are you laughing?!”
You giggled, pulling on his shirt and making him sit by your bed. Cupping his face in your hands, you grinned widely. “You’re incredible, Bakugou Katsuki.”
Bakugou stared back at you, ignoring the heat in his cheeks as he felt your glacial-like hands against his skin. He took your hands away from his face and you watched curiously as he held your hands earnestly. He controlled his quirk enough to heat your hands up, making you feel warmth in your fingertips for the first time in months. 
Your fingers brushed over the various calluses on his hands. “I heard you loud and clear. And I’m sorry if I made you angry with what I said. I just didn’t want you to have your hopes up.”
He looked into your eyes directly and intently. “The minute I met you I had my hopes up. I’ve had my hopes up every time I’ve been around you. I mean it, Y/N. You’re gonna have to rip me apart limb from limb if you want me to leave your side now.”
You laughed again, squeezing his hand in yours. In that moment, you had never felt so much warmth practically radiating off of another person. Although all of these feelings and emotions were stirring inside you, you were too afraid to do anything with them. The news of the severity of your sickness made you feel more ambitious than usual but it also made you more hesitant. You didn’t want Bakugou to be involved in something that he wouldn’t know what would be the outcome. Who knew when you would get better and if you would ever recover completely, but in that moment, you refused to let the physical nature of your body control how you would live your life.
❝Should I turn back around a few more times?
We walk along together upon the desolate road, conversation lacking substance
We look out into the distance where the light shines
I realized just then I can no longer move forward
Every step brings me closer to our end and the hand I used to hold seems to vanish in the wind❞
Bakugou shoved his phone in his pocket, the sweat already formulating in his hands as he felt the heat of the summer take its effect on him. He paid no mind to the various looks that he received from onlookers and passerbys. Kids bounced up and down excitedly to their parents, whispering, “Look, it’s Ground Zero!” 
Even the old lady running the flower cart was appalled as the infamous hero stopped in front of her stand. She stared curiously as Bakugou inspected the variety of bouquets she had laid out before him. He had his eyes set on a specific one: a completely white bouquet of tulips with hints of pink cherry blossoms hidden behind the fragile white petals.
Bakugou pointed to the bouquet, handing the elderly woman a wad of cash. “I’ll take that one.”
The woman was snapped from her staring, grabbing the bouquet and handing it to him. She smiled. “That must be for someone special.”
Bakugou looked down at the bouquet and down the long path he had yet to walk past. He smiled slightly. “You could say that…”
~~~
Bakugou clenched the bag of pastries in his left hand tightly as he pushed open the now familiar doors to Meijo Hospital. Yaoyorozu and Mina were excited and bubbly when they told Bakugou about visiting you when they ran into him during patrol. Truthfully, he felt guilty for not visiting you as often as he could. Now being a pro hero, he was constantly given work that put him in a position to have to rely on texting and calling you. Once he was free of work, it was already too late as visiting hours were closed. Nevertheless, you always reassured him and told him that you understood that he was busy saving people and you never once complained either. But he couldn’t help but think: were you lonely in that desolate room?
“Ground Zero!” The same receptionist behind the desk from Bakugou’s days in U.A. exclaimed with a bright smile. The other fairly new receptionists were shocked at the sight of the newly professional hero before them. “It’s been so long, I was wondering when you were coming.”
“I was busy. Is she still in room…?”
“405? Yup, she’s still in the same room,” the receptionist said, gesturing down the wide room towards the elevator. 
Bakugou made his way towards the elevators, stopping in front of them as he finally took notice of the numerous eyes set on him as people began whispering to one another. Even though he thought he would’ve gotten used to the attention, and although most days he didn’t mind it, he felt particularly annoyed that day. He rolled his eyes, choosing to take the stairs instead. He trudged up the stairs, his footfalls echoing through the empty and long space. 
The closer he got to the fourth floor, the heavier his chest felt. The last time he saw you was almost three weeks ago and he noticed how you had gotten sicker and sicker. Your cheekbones were poking against your skin as your face looked sunken in. Seeing how you had not only lost a considerable amount of weight but also how you looked weaker overall made Bakugou experience a pain he never thought he’d be able to feel. And despite your deteriorating appearance, you still had the brightest smile on your face. Your eyes lit up in a manner like no other and you continued to amaze Bakugou.
Bakugou finally reached your door, lingering outside for a few moments. He peered inside through the small frame of glass, watching as you sat up on your bed and looked down at your hands. You had a candle in your hands, taking in a large breath before attempting to use your quirk. You were fully concentrated on the wick of the candle as you slowly lifted your hand to the wick. Just as a small spark of a flame was beginning to form at the palm of your hand, you couldn’t control it and the flames engulfed the entire candle. 
Right as Bakugou moved to push open the door to help you, you dropped it to the floor, instinctively grabbing the fire extinguisher and putting the mess out. You dropped the extinguisher to the floor as well, the metal causing a loud clanging sound to erupt even past the door. Bakugou watched as your fists grabbed the bed sheets in aggravation. The tears naturally fell from your eyes and there was no stop to them. You were holding in so many emotions and you couldn’t hold it in any longer. It was too tiring to act like you were always kept together when you just wanted to crumble sometimes.
Bakugou felt his hand clenching the handle of the door, slowly and quietly sliding it open. You didn’t bother looking up, expecting one your parents to have walked in to console you. “Mom, Dad, please leave me alone. I really want to be alone.” The words left your lips like a whisper.
You were greeted by a pair of sturdy arms wrapping themselves around your shaking body, a familiar yet comforting smell, hints of a caramel and earth fragrance engulfing your nostrils. Bakugou was warm against you, like he always was. But he felt even warmer that day. 
Bakugou rubbed your back, dropping the bag of pastries on the stand by your bed. “I don’t know exactly what’s going on and I wanna think that you’re keeping it from me to spare my feelings. But you’re not in this alone. You don’t have to shoulder this pain on your own. You’re human and you don’t deserve to beat yourself up over this shit.”
The lump in your throat rose as uncontrollable sobs escaped your lips. Hearing Bakugou’s voice, one that you had missed listening to, made you feel comforted but the severity of your condition was taking a toll on not only your body but also your mental well-being. It had already been nearly two years since you were hospitalized. 
Your tears painted his black tee but Bakugou didn’t mind as he rested his cheek against the top of your head and continued to rub your back. Sometimes the only thing you could do was let the tears fall until they ran out and it made it better to have someone there to just hold you.
“I’m sorry,” you choked out, wiping away the tears from your face and pulling away from Bakugou. 
His hands rests on your shoulders, staring at you with disbelief and concern. “You don’t have to be sorry about this.”
You shook your head. “I… I should’ve just rejected you that night. I shouldn’t have let you get close to me.”
“What do you mean, Y/N?” The way your voice sounded frantic and rushed was mildly scaring Bakugou.
“The doctor is giving me the option of surgery to help me out but the chances of me making it out alive is slim,” you whispered, your voice breaking as you spoke. 
Bakugou was perplexed, not understanding why you needed surgery in the first place but it also made him realize the severity of your condition. You looked up at him, laughing at yourself as you realized Bakugou’s confusion as you hadn’t told him what was happening to you. “I’m sorry for not explaining it before… but without making it too complex, my quirk is hurting me. It’s funny ‘cause it’s such a simple quirk, just some flames, but it’s not simple at the same time. Katsuki… my quirk is destroying me from the inside out.”
Bakugou didn’t realize how tightly he was gripping your shoulders as his crimson eyes looked back and forth from one eye to the other. He was waiting for the punchline, waiting for this to be a sick joke and that you weren’t in such a serious situation. He wanted to see your face break out into a smile, that same smile that made him fall head over heels for you. He waited for a moment but he felt his heart shatter to pieces as he continued to look back at the broken girl sitting before him. 
He engulfed you back into his arms, holding onto your frail body tight enough that it wasn’t hurting you. He nuzzled his face into the crook on your neck, feeling the frustration build up within him. He never wanted to let you go ever again. 
“It’s gonna be okay.”
The tears started culminating again as the sobs escaped your lips. Your hands gripped onto Bakugou’s black tee so tightly that you could feel your own fingernails stab into your palm. “I don’t know what to do, Katsu. What do I do? I’m so scared.”
Bakugou was at a loss for words. He didn’t know either, didn’t know how to comfort you or how to take away the fear you were experiencing. He pulled away from you, brushing away the hairs that were sticking to your tear soaked cheeks. 
He let out a sigh. “If this surgery works, will you be okay?”
You nodded. “If it’s a success, my quirk won’t be any good but I’ll be able to live again. But if I don’t take it… there’s barely a guarantee that I’ll be able to live, too.”
Bakugou’s lips curled upwards slightly. “Then there’s your answer. You need to take any chance to get better, to get out of this fucking room. This is your life, Y/N. And I know you’re not the type to take this shit lying down.”
You sniffled, nodding along with him. “I am tired of this room. And… I just want to walk on my own two feet again. But I’m just so scared. I know that if I don’t take this surgery, I’ll be dead but this is just speeding up the process and the stakes are so high.”
Bakugou brought his hand up and patted your hair down. “There’s nothing to be scared of. Not when you’ve got your family and friends here. Not when you’ve got me here and there’s no way I’m letting some fucking quirk or sickness take you from me.”
A small laugh erupted within you, the first smile you had for weeks on your face. You brought your usual icy-cold hands up to cup Bakugou’s face, rubbing your thumb along the new scar on his brow bone from the last villain’s attack. “I keep hearing all the nurses say how strong and handsome ‘Pro Hero Ground Zero’ is. And whenever I see you on the news, I keep imagining the day I get to see you in your hero costume and see in person how you keep saving people’s lives.”
Your smile intensified as you looked back up at Bakugou’s eyes. You were deprived three weeks of seeing your boyfriend, wanting to bask in this moment longer than usual. “I kept thinking of that, you know, kept thinking about the day I can see you and spend time with you outside of this dreadful room. It’s been the only thing keeping me going.”
You sighed, leaning into him and pressing your cheek against his chest. You could hear how fast his heart began to beat, how even the slightest touch made him go crazy. “I don’t know how I could ever repay you for all of the things you’ve done for me, Katsuki.”
Bakugou scoffed, bringing his arms up to hold you against him. “I haven’t done shit, if anything I’m doing the bare minimum. All I’m doing is seeing you, that’s it.”
You shook your head against him. “You don’t understand. As much as I appreciate and love my parents and the others for visiting, the way I feel when I see your face is a feeling I can’t describe in words. Sometimes I feel like giving up, just throwing in the towel ‘cause sometimes that’s just easier. But then I think of you and how persistent and determined you are. I think about how you’ve never given up in your life, not even for a second. Most people see that ambition in you as arrogant but I see it as brave. And I want to be like you.”
Bakugou sighed once more. “You’re unbelievable. You’re the one in the hospital and here you are hyping me up and making my ego bigger than it already fucking is.”
A breathless laugh escaped your lips. Your arms tightened around his firm torso. “You’re a hero, Katsuki. You’re my hero.”
❝So, tell me now, how can I love the heartbreak when you’re the one I love,
To give you up because of love or from the heartache and pain
No, my heart, that's something I can never do❞
Bakugou groaned as his phone began vibrating once again. He begrudgingly fished it out on his pocket, answering it without bothering to acknowledge the caller ID. “What?”
“What, even your mother can’t get a decent ‘hello’ just ‘cause her son’s famous now?” Mitsuki huffed from the other line.
Bakugou rolled his eyes as he continued walking down the path. “What is it?”
“Kirishima called and told me that you’re visiting Y/N.” That fucking snitch… “Your dad wanted me to check up on you since it’s been two years since you’ve seen her.”
“He’s worrying for nothing. I’m fine.”
“Katsuki, you’re not fooling anyone. I can smell the bullshit all the way from here.” Bakugou could hear his mother sigh. “Are you sure you need to see her today? The way you two ended things...”
“Something’s telling me to meet up with her today, okay? I need to see her.”
Mitsuki paused before letting out another sigh. “I can’t even complain about your stubbornness ‘cause you got it from me. Since you’ve made up your mind, tell her ‘hi’ from me and your dad. And tell her we’ve missed her.”
“Alright.” He hung up, shoving his phone back into his pocket. He felt his heart skip a beat when the cool metal touched his fingertips. His feet stopped moving, the gust of wind blowing against his body as numerous cherry blossom petals floated against the wind. The metal band shined in the sun’s light, the giant diamond sitting on the band shining even brighter. Bakugou’s fingers curled around the ring in a fist. The memories from this ring were his favorite, one that he could recall perfectly. It was the one of the last times he saw that beautiful smile on your face, the smile that radiated purity and serenity.
~~~
The weather was practically unbearable that day. Bakugou could feel beads of sweat sliding down his forehead and neck as well as a pool forming at his palms and fingertips. Not only was he worn out from work and patrolling, the weather was just adding onto the trouble.
“Hmm, I wonder who you’re going to visit, Bakugou,” the same old receptionist teased as Bakugou walked up to the front desk and signed his name under the visiting section. She gasped as she took the clipboard from him. 
“If I’m not here, who’s gonna keep that shitty girl company?” Bakugou said with a smirk, gripping the plastic bag in his hand.
The receptionist laughed as he walked away and said good-bye. It was like second nature by now to walk into Meijo Hospital to the point where Bakugou recognized nearly every doctor and nurse in your wing. A few of them grinned as he walked past them, going towards good ole room 405.
Bakugou slid the door open, confused as to why your room was empty. He looked down the hallway, getting the attention of one of the nurses. “Where’s Y/N?”
“She was with Nurse Takahashi earlier. She wanted some fresh air so I think she’s on the first floor,” the nurse responded.
Bakugou sighed, sliding the door shut. “This girl’s making me go through this whole fucking building to find her…” he thought to himself.
He begrudgingly made his way down to the first floor, deciding to take the elevator for once. Once he reached the lobby, he scanned the area, attempting to spot your (H/C) locks. He stepped outside, getting frustrated as he couldn’t figure out where you were. Knowing you, you were most likely hiding somewhere trying to scare him.
Which was exactly what you were doing.
Your attempt at popping out from the bush area, screaming ‘boo!’ was a fail as not only did Bakugou expect you to do that, but your being in a wheelchair didn’t help either.
Bakugou rolled his eyes. “You’re always doing shit to give me a hard time, huh?”
You grinned widely. “Of course. I have to keep you on your toes.”
You wheeled yourself forward, heading away from the building. “Come on!”
“Are you even allowed to be out here?”
You nodded. “Mhm. Takahashi let me have some free time since I’m fully recovered from the surgery. Plus, I told him Ground Zero was coming to keep an eye on me.”
Bakugou sighed, placing the plastic bag in your lap as he took the handles on the wheelchair in his fists and wheeled you forward. “You’re not on the IV anymore?”
You shook your head, gasping inwardly in delight at the sight of the popsicles inside the bag. “I’m off pain killers. It’s been two weeks since the surgery, you know.”
“You still have to be careful. Didn’t that nurse guy say that there still isn’t a one-hundred percent chance of that quirk of yours being destroyed?”
You rolled your eyes playfully, licking the cool popsicle. “I’m fine, I swear. You’d think that with the six years we’ve been together you’d trust me more.”
“It’s ‘cause I’ve known you for six damn years that I know you get too excited and get reckless,” Bakugou huffed. 
You snickered, leaning back. The preparation for the long-awaited surgery was one of the most nerve wracking experiences of your life. Just waiting for the day to come was the scariest part. Due to the severity of the process, as the medical staff was attempting to extract your quirk from you, it took years to prepare for it. Although using something as drastic as the Quirk-Destroying Drug used by the villain Overhaul would have made the process quicker and easier, the drug was mandated illegal for the purpose of the drug as well as the way in which it was created. 
Once you went through with the surgery, the recovery period was also difficult to deal with. Your body was learning how to function again as years have passed since the quirk was slowly killing your insides. Although you were off painkillers, it would still take time and lots of physical and mental therapy to be how you were when you were just a teenager. Even though the surgery was a success, your quirk was reduced to the size of a fraction of a bean, meaning that there was still a chance that it could grow and weaken your body once again. Nevertheless, you took that chance and here you were, on your way to a normal life.
Although the recovery period was difficult and it is still difficult functioning everyday, Bakugou was there by your side for all of it. He made sure to visit and help your parents out as much as he could, balancing a demanding job on top of this. He would often get scolded by his agency but he didn’t give a damn. You were his top priority and you will always be his top priority.
You crossed your arm over your shoulder, putting your hand over Bakugou’s. He felt comforted by how warm your touch had become. “I’ve missed you, Katsuki.”
“The hell do you mean, I’ve been here the whole time?” Bakugou asked, pushing you towards the brick path he knew you loved so much.
You laughed, shrugging your shoulders. “I don’t know. It’s just that I haven’t been myself, my true self all these years because of all of this and now I finally feel like it again.”
Bakugou smiled softly. For years he saw the effects of your quirk on your physical and mental well-being. As much as you tried to be optimistic for him, your parents, and friends, Bakugou knew that deep down you were terrified and tired of being stuck in that damn room.
You pointed to one of the many wooden benches surrounding the edges of the path, one sitting right under a cherry blossom tree. “Let’s sit over there.”
Bakugou maneuvered you beside the bench, sitting down so he was right next to you. You handed him a popsicle, one that he took happily as the sun’s intensity only increased. Although Bakugou had gotten used to it, you were shocked at how many people were staring at the two of you. You smiled. “I knew you were popular but I didn’t know you were this popular.”
Bakugou smirked, crumpling the wrapper and throwing it into the plastic bag. “You’re looking at a top hero. Of course they’re all staring.”
You laughed. “They’re probably wondering who I am next to you.”
“They can wonder all they want. I don’t give a fuck what they think but if anyone even thinks about saying any nasty comments about you, I’ll fucking destroy them.”
You chuckled, shaking your head and leaning into him. “Always so violent no matter what, huh?”
Bakugou rolled his eyes, wiping the sweat from his forehead. Eventually the people stopped staring right in front of you, slowly walking past you and making you feel comfortable with the lack of prying eyes. You took notice to Bakugou’s bangs sticking to his forehead, pulling out one of your hair clips. Clipping his hairs back onto his head, Bakugou flinched at your sudden action. “The hell are you doing?”
“You looked hot so I’m just helping you out.” You giggled at how cute he looked, forehead exposed to the world and his same old grumpy face.
“I better not look stupid with this shit in my hair,” he grumbled.
“You look a-dor-able,” you said, enunciating slowly. You pointed down the path. “Let’s go! That’s enough lounging around!”
“You’re the one who wanted to sit here.”
“I know but I want to go down this whole path before the sunsets and we have to head back to the hospital.”
“Alright, gimme a second,” Bakugou said, standing up and pushing you once more.
As you walked with him, Bakugou yelled as he realized the amount of people snickering as they walked past you guys, taking notice to his new hairdo. You laughed along with them and despite his complaining and whining, Bakugou didn’t dare to touch his hair.
Unfortunately, your wish to reach the end of the path was cut short as a woman screaming startled everyone in the area as well as you and Bakugou. Bakugou whipped his head around to the source of the sound, you leaning on the side of the wheelchair to catch a glimpse of the commotion. Bakugou only needed a few seconds to spot a man in a hoodie running in the opposite direction of a flustered woman pointing at him. He had a purse in his hand.
“This asshole,” Bakugou muttered. He quickly pushed you to the side of the path so that you weren’t in the middle of the walkway. “Wait right here.”
“Oka--”
Bakugou ran in the opposite direction before you could say anything else, pushing his hands behind him and using his quirk to increase his momentum. He looked behind him momentarily, making sure no one was behind him to be harmed by his quirk. Once he got closer to the culprit, he yelled, “Hey! Asshole!”
The man turned around, gasping as Bakugou kicked him to the ground, his foot on his torso as the man groaned in pain from the impact of his kick. Bakugou leaned down, snatching the purse from his hand. Fortunately, due to being so close to a hospital, a few security guards rushed towards Bakugou, taking care of the man and thanking Bakugou for his help. Even bystanders walking down the brick path began cheering and clapping, getting a glimpse of the infamous Ground Zero at work. 
Bakugou made his way down the path, handing the woman her purse silently before walking towards you. “Thank you, hero!” She called out.
Bakugou waved her off as he caught sight of you, a wide smile on your face as you were joining in on the clapping. Bakugou scoffed at you, moving your wheelchair from the curb. “You don’t have to clap.”
“Oh, come on! It’s my first time seeing you in action, it was exciting!” You exclaimed.
Bakugou chuckled, continuing to wheel you down the path like he had intended before you were rudely interrupted. He patted down his pants, panicking slightly when he felt his pockets empty. Shoving his hand into his pocket, he let out a sigh of relief when he found what he was looking for.
You turned back, eyeing him. “Did you lose something?”
“No,” Bakugou said a little too quickly, making you even more suspicious.
“O-kay,” you said cautiously, deciding to drop the matter… for now. You looked down the path as the brick and cobble road slowly started to fade. “Where are we going?”
“We’re almost there. You love this road, don’t ya? Thought you’d enjoy this, too,” Bakugou said, nodding to the sight ahead of you. You gasped inwardly as you stared ahead. As the brick path ended, the path was located on a slope, looking down on the metropolitan area. The sun was setting, painting the sky with purple and orange hues. The U.A. building stood tall in the center of all of the commotion of the city, giving you an even more perfect view of the city than the rooftop of the hospital. Plus, there were barely any people huddled around this area as they were too engrossed with the cherry blossom trees to enjoy the view.
“It’s beautiful,” you whispered in awe.
Bakugou smirked, pleased with himself. He sat down on the curb, at the top of the hill and enjoying the sight. You smiled, getting up slowly, wanting to join him. He stopped you, getting to his feet and gently pushing you back onto the chair. “What're you doing?!”
“I want to sit with you,” you said simply.
“But you can’t walk now.”
“I can walk a little,” you said, raising your two fingers. “You’re worrying too much. I can move this much just to sit next to you, you know.”
Bakugou sighed, knowing that there was no point in arguing with you. He grabbed your hand, helping you sit beside him and he pushed the wheelchair behind the two of you. You smiled up at him, scooting closer to him and latching onto his arm. “It’s nice to spend time like this with you.”
Bakugou hummed, his hand in his pocket as he looked over to you. “It makes me excited to think about all the memories we’ll make when I’m all better,” you said excitedly.
“Me too,” Bakugou said, sweat forming on his forehead once more. His palms were beginning to sweat as well, this time not from the heat. 
You took notice to his nervousness, furrowing your brows. “What’s wrong, Katsu?”
Bakugou gripped the object in his pocket with such force that he was shocked it hadn’t broken. He sighed. “Being here with you makes me think about the future.”
You smiled, pinching his cheek teasingly. “What, you’re nervous to spend your future with me?”
He turned to face you, his eyes piercing right through you. He took the velvet box out from his pocket, flicking it open to reveal a metal band with a giant diamond sitting on top of it, one that would put the sun to shame with it shining brightly before you. “No. It makes me fucking excited to want to spend my whole life with you.”
Your eyes widened as you took notice to the engagement ring in his calloused hands. You could only shake your head, not able to believe what you were seeing or form any coherent words. Tears started forming as you stared at him. You were speechless, overwhelmed with love and feelings of security. As time passed and your condition worsened, it was harder and harder for you to even dream about things like marriage. But with Bakugou by your side giving you hope and pushing you to want to get better, it made you believe; can you really live a normal life again?
“Shit, did I fuck it up?” Bakugou asked angrily, annoyed with himself. “I’m supposed to get down on one knee and shit, aren’t I?”
Your (E/C) eyes watched on as Bakugou got up and went down on his left knee, holding the box up to you with an intense look on his face. You covered your mouth in disbelief, the tears now streaming down your face.
“Y/N, will you marry--”
“Yes!” You screamed, your voice echoing through the air. You attacked him into an aggressive hug, causing Bakugou to lose balance and fall backward onto the grassy area. Luckily he managed to catch your body and not lose the expensive ring at the same time. You buried your head into his neck, sobbing as your tears splattered his skin. “A million times yes!”
Bakugou laughed, a weight lifting of his shoulders. “You idiot, I could’ve dropped this shit, ya know?” His expression didn’t match his tone as he grinned widely. 
You got up, still on top of him and wiping your face despite your sobbing never ceasing. Bakugou sighed, sitting up and pulling you into his embrace. “You’re not supposed to cry.”
You sniffled, leaning into his shoulder. “I’m just so happy, Katsuki.”
Bakugou shook his head, taking your left hand from your face and sliding the ring onto your finger. He caressed your hair, laughing at your tear-streaked face. You wiped your face once more, gasping for air in between your sobs. “It’s just… for the longest time I didn’t know if I’d ever survive to see the next day. And… And now you’re giving me hope to spend our lives together.”
Bakugou smiled, wiping your face as well, cupping your face in his hands. “Well now it gives you all the more reason to wanna get better.”
You laughed breathlessly, finally ceasing the tears from falling. You looked down at your hand, smiling at the ring. “You don’t understand, Katsuki, you’ve helped me survive more than you’ll ever know.”
You leaned in, planting a soft and warm kiss on his cheek. “You’re the reason why I still exist, Katsu. You give me a reason to want to wake up the next day.”
❝How could I do that to you
Our love that runs deep as the ocean,
Waiting till it runs dry…
The wind was strong that morning. But it wasn’t a slight breeze like usual as it brought harsh flurries of snow and frost along with it. Fortunately for Bakugou, who’s quirk was well suited for these harsh conditions, was fine as he made his way to his agency. 
Right when he opened the doors, he was attacked into a hug. Kaminari smiled at him as he attempted to leech off of his warmth. “Kacchan!”
Bakugou grimaced, lifting him up by his shirt and dropping him on the floor. “Don’t ever fucking touch me or say that name ever again, dunce face.”
“Oh, come on! It’s not fair that you get all that warmth ‘cause of your quirk!” Kaminari complained, leaning on the front desk as he shivered in his costume.
Kirishima greeted the two, also clad in his hero costume. “Took you long enough.”
“What the hell are you two doing here anyways?” Bakugou asked, nodding at his receptionists as they greeted him. He made his way to his office and Kaminari and Kirishima followed him.
“We were in town after taking down some giant goat villain,” Kirishima said.
Bakugou closed the door behind them. “Goat villain?”
“Yeah, it was pretty weird. But we knew your place was nearby and we wanted to pay you a visit!” Kaminari exclaimed. “We also wanted to see how Y/N’s doing.”
Kirishima perked up. “Yeah, how is she, man? I heard she’s still in recovery from that surgery from like a year ago.”
Bakugou nodded, taking his gauntlets off and tossing them to the side. “She’s getting better with time. She was getting physical therapy so her body gets used to fixing the damage from her quirk but she got sick so she’s at the hospital.”
Kaminari sighed. “That poor girl can never catch a break. And here I was thinking you two could’ve at least gotten married.”
Bakugou slipped his gloves off and threw them onto his desk. “We already did.”
Kaminari and Kirishima both jumped up, eyes wide. “What?!”
Bakugou showed them the wedding band on his finger. “We didn’t want a ceremony and she didn’t feel like waiting so we just did the paperwork s’all.”
“Congratulations, man!” Kirishima said excitedly.
Kaminari pouted, slumping down on one of the chairs in front of Bakugou’s desk. “No fair, I bet Y/N would’ve looked real pretty in a wedding dress.”
Bakugou glared at him, taking off the rest of his gear including his eye mask and leaving his jacket-like top and pants on. “You better get those perverted thoughts out of your fucking head.”
Kaminari raised his hands up defensively. “I wasn’t thinking anything perverted! I just thought she’d look pretty!”
“Well you’re a fucking pervert either way so I don’t trust any bullshit that comes out of your mouth.”
Kirishima sighed, shaking his head as his two friends continued to argue. Bakugou's phone buzzed on the desk and Kirishima gestured to it. “You gonna get that?”
Bakugou grabbed it, looking at the caller ID. It was your dad, in fact he had numerous missed calls from him. He answered the call, bringing the phone up to his ear. “Hello?”
“Katsuki! Thank goodness you answered, I’ve been trying to reach you for some time now!” His voice sounded frantic on the other end.
“Sorry, I leave my phone in my office when I’m wor--”
“Never mind that; it’s about Y/N.”
Bakugou felt his heart nearly stop beating as he heard your father’s next words, dropping his phone to the floor. He bolted out the room in a panic, ignoring Kaminari and Kirishima’s worried shouts from behind him as he made his way to Meijo Hospital.
***
The receptionist gave Bakugou a worried look as she saw him dashing for the elevator. Normally she would’ve scolded him for running in the lobby but she had heard the grave news as well, turning a blind eye to the matter. Bakugou aggressively jammed the button on the elevator as the doors closed, the ding sound intensifying as he reached the fourth floor. He used his quirk to push him forward as he finally got to your wing, your parents sitting down nervously in the waiting room.
Bakugou approached them, breathing heavily as his heart pounded against his chest. “Where is she?”
Your mother was crying as your father comforted her. He looked up at Bakugou with worry. “The doctor said they don’t know what happened, they said that she was fine one minute and then… they had to go into immediate surgery. Her organs are failing her.”
Bakugou’s legs gave out underneath him, luckily managing to sit on the chair beneath him and next to your father. The surgery from last year was a success and you were slowly yet surely on your way to recovery. “She was fine… what the fuck went wrong?”
Your mother got up, wiping her eyes as she continued crying. “I’m going to go to the bathroom.”
Your father nodded sadly, watching as she walked down the hall. He turned to Bakugou, sighing. “I’m sure Y/N spared you the complexity of her condition as the medical reason for it is pretty difficult to understand. But similar to your quirk secreting nitroglycerin in your sweat, Y/N’s quirk secretes hydrogen cyanide.”
Bakugou listened intently. “What does that do?”
“Hydrogen cyanide is extremely toxic for the body but it is also flammable, which is what allowed Y/N to create her flames. However, unlike your quirk that secretes nitroglycerin primarily to your sweat, Y/N’s quirk secretes it directly from her endocrine system. I’m not sure if you know but the endocrine system regulates the body by secreting chemical substances into the bloodstream.”
“And that hydrogen cyanide shit’s been in her bloodstream this whole time?” Bakugou asked, not being able to believe what he was hearing.
Your father nodded, the frown still wrinkled on his face. “With the hydrogen cyanide being secreted in her bloodstream, it is affecting her organs, especially since the endocrine system regulates metabolic functions. When she was a child, the secretion was not too much for her to be hospitalized but slowly the dosage started increasing as she got older. She’s had so many of these surgeries but with each surgery, the risk of her being fatally injured in the process kept increasing, too.” 
Your father gripped his knees in his hands in anger, frustrated to no end. “No matter what we do… no matter what we try to do to help her live her life, that damn quirk keeps manifesting. All these surgeries are just delaying the process. Her quirk is slowly burning her up.”
Bakugou looked down the hall, staring at your room. He could faintly hear the doctors and nurses’ voices through the door, hearing how frantic and rushed they sounded. All your life you’ve been fighting your own body and Bakugou refused to believe that it was going to end like this.
Your father clapped a hand onto Bakugou’s shoulder, giving him a weary smile. “Don’t worry, son, we’ve got to be hopeful for her. She’ll get through this, she always has.”
“There’s no way I’m ever giving up on her. I married her because I want to spend the rest of my life with her… only her. I’m not letting her leave me like this,” Bakugou said adamantly.
***
Time was going painstakingly slow. Bakugou had already drank three cups of shitty hospital coffee, your mother had gone through two boxes of tissues as her tears kept coming, and your father had bitten his fingernails into short nubs. Remembering how he left Kaminari and Kirishima, Bakugou asked your dad for his phone, dialing Kirishima’s number in. 
“Bakugou! We’ve been worried sick, man! What the hell happened?” Kirishima asked in a concerned tone.
“Y/N’s in surgery. I’m with her parents at the hospital. I dunno when it’ll be over,” Bakugou said, leaning against the wall.
“Do you want us to come, too?” Kirishima asked after pausing for a moment.
“No, we’re fine here.” The door to your room finally opened and Bakugou perked up immediately. “The doctors are out, I gotta go.”
Bakugou hung up, handing the phone back to your dad as the three of them got up and started crowding the doctors and nurses coming out of the room.
“How is she, doctor?” Your father asked, hopeful for some good news.
The doctors looked uncomfortable, one finally speaking up after what felt like an eternity of silence. “She’s strong. Probably one of the strongest patients I’ve ever had… but it’s not going to work out.”
Bakugou felt his heart drop to his feet. “The hell do you mean?”
The doctor frowned, nervous with Bakugou’s tone. “She has ten minutes left. That quirk of hers was too strong to get rid of even with the surgeries she’s had. We managed to get these last moments for her. We’re so sorry.”
The doctors and nurses bowed to them to show their condolences. Your mother let out a shrieking sob, running into your room immediately. Your father followed suit, rushing to be by your side. But Bakugou couldn’t help but be frozen on the spot. No matter how much he tried to move his feet, he couldn’t do anything. He refused to believe that this was reality, wishing for this to be his worst nightmare.
Finally he moved, his legs feeling like jelly as he collapsed to the ground, his back hitting the wall. He buried his face in his hands, pulling at his hairs in frustration. You were fine, all this time you were on your way to a full recovery. You were smiling brightly just this morning and now… you were on your deathbed?
Your father stepped out, his tear-stricken face evident as he sniffled. “She wants to see you, Katsuki.”
Bakugou snapped his head towards him, nodding as he rose to his feet. He had to drag his feet into your room, terrified of what he was going to see. He sucked in his breath as he made eye contact with you.
You were hooked to so many machines Bakugou couldn’t keep count. You looked inhumanely pale, your veins peeking through your skin. Your hair stuck to your face and you looked exhausted. Nevertheless, you had the most beautiful smile on your face, one that could make Bakugou fall in love with you all over again. “Katsu… ki.”
Bakugou crouched down beside your bed, holding onto your hand. Your other hand was held by both your parents. Bakugou hadn’t taken notice to the tears falling from his eyes until you brought a shaky hand up to wipe them away. “Katsuki, don’t… cry.”
Bakugou felt himself breathing heavily as the tears continued to fall as he held your hand tightly in his. “You idiot, don’t tell me what to do. Not when you’re here like this.”
You let out a breathy and weak laugh, maintaining your smile. “You really are amazing, Katsuki.”
The tight knot-like feeling in Bakugou’s chest refused to leave as the tears drowned his vision. But he wiped them away vigorously, refusing to lose sight of you. Your eyes wandered down, looking at Bakugou’s clothes. “I finally got to see you in your hero costume…”
“Stop talking, you’re making it worse,” Bakugou mumbled incoherently, his lips quivering as he tried to maintain his composure. Your parents held onto you as tightly as Bakugou did, all three refusing to believe the reality and gravity of the situation unfolding before them.
You smiled once again, using all of the strength you had left to maintain that withering smile. You brought a shaky hand up to Bakugou’s cheek, rubbing your thumb along his cheekbone. 
Bakugou’s vision became blurry, tears welling in his eyes as he gritted his teeth in pure anger. “You’re so fucking incredible, you know that? And so badass and strong.”
Your chest was rising and falling unevenly as it became harder and harder for you to breathe. Glancing over to your parents, your eyes glazed with your own tears. “I’m sorry Mom and Dad.”
“You didn’t do anything wrong. We’re so proud of you, sweetie,” your mother croaked, your father nodding along.
You smiled once more, a tear gliding down your face. “I love you both. Please look after… Katsuki. And each other.”
The monitor began beeping slowly and Bakugou held your hand in his once again, clenching it as tightly as he could. You gave his hand the slightest squeeze, turning your head to look at him. “Tell the others… that I’m sorry… didn’t get to say goodbye.”
Bakugou nodded vigorously, bringing your enclosed hands to his lips as he planted a soft kiss against your cold skin. “Don’t go, Y/N. Please.”
You laughed again, smiling sympathetically at him. “I wish… we could be… together forever…”
You smiled, your eyes closing slowly. “At least now… I can finally… leave this damn room…” 
The heart monitor continued to beep slower and slower. Time stood still as Bakugou heard your last words ring in his ears. “I love you, Bakugou Katsuki. I love you… more than life…”
Bakugou and your parents stared on as your chest fell for the final time, the flatlining of the monitor echoing through Bakugou’s head. Your fingers went limp in Bakugou’s hand and Bakugou felt himself shake with anger.
“This is some fucking joke… there’s no way this is real…” Bakugou whispered.
The doctors came back into the room, and Bakugou didn’t even notice their presence or your mother passing out onto the floor. As they went over to her side to assist her, your father approached Bakugou. He put a hand on his shoulder. “Son, come on, let’s go.”
“No!” Bakugou pushed his hand away, his eyes blazed as he continued to hold your hand in his. “I’m not leaving this room!”
He looked over to the nurses by the doorway. “You’ve got to do something… anything! We can still save her!”
“Katsuki… please,” your father whispered desperately, his body shaking as his own tears never stopped.
“Ground Zero, sir, there’s nothing else we can do--” 
“Bullshit,” Bakugou growled, interrupting the doctor. “She’s not dead! She was fine a few days ago! And you want me to believe that she’s fucking gone?!”
“Katsuki, you need to open your eyes, son,” your father was pleading beside him on the floor by your bed. “This is just as hard for you as it is for us.” 
Bakugou got to his feet, his fists shaking at his sides as sparks ignited in his palms by his rage. He couldn’t look at you, refusing to see your limp body lying on the bed. He refused to believe anything. “Believe whatever the fuck you want.”
Bakugou ignored the shouts behind him as he stormed out of the room, running as fast as he could. He didn’t know where he was going or what he was doing, going wherever his feet were taking him. She’s not dead, she’s not dead, SHE’S NOT DEAD was all that was repeating in Bakugou’s mind.  
That dreary day in room 405 was one that Bakugou would never forget but was also one he would do whatever he could do to forget. He turned his back on everything that day, and he never came back.
~~~ 
Two years had passed since then. Two painstakingly long years. After that night, Bakugou left the country, travelling to different places to somehow take the pain away, but it was no use. Your face continued to pop up in his mind like a constant reminder that you were gone. 
The first month, Bakugou went to South Korea and China. He tried to indulge himself in anything that would distract him. And as hard as he tried, every night he’d wake up in the middle of the night with the image of your dead body in room 405 haunting him.
The next few months, he covered all of Asia, moving to the Middle East, Europe, Africa and so on. He didn’t answer any calls from his parents, your parents, his agency, or his friends. He submitted a leave of absence to his agency, one that he knew would be approved because it was his agency. 
Sooner rather than later, a year had gone by and Bakugou was still on his pilgrimage to find something to fill the hole that you had left in him but to no avail. After two months, Bakugou finally returned to Japan, coming home to a frenzy of media as he had decided to go back to work. His colleagues and friends wanted to question him, question what he had been doing but didn’t have the heart to do so. They knew how difficult your death was on him. 
When Bakugou went to his family home, he was greeted with swear words and constant yelling from his mother. But he ignored it, actually apologizing to his parents. And like that, Bakugou returned to his life as a pro hero. 
However, things took a turn as he finally decided to quit seeking refuge with his parents and return to the home he had bought to live with you once you were fully recovered. The minute he opened the door, he collapsed to the floor, tears welling in his eyes for the first time in a long time as he saw pictures of you everywhere. The pain came back and it hit him like a punch to the face.
Finally here he was today, as Bakugou finally came to a stop at the brick road. The sun was setting, just like it was when he proposed to you on this same hill that day. Bakugou felt a chill down his spine as his eyes fixated onto your gravesite. The grassy area beside the path had been turned to a gravesite per your family’s request. It was your favorite part of the city and everyone who knew you knew how much you loved the area.
Bakugou stopped moving, his feet frozen in place and his hands clenching around the bouquet as he stared intently at your tombstone. He took a deep breath in and out, bracing himself as he took a few slow steps forward. Once Bakugou mustered enough strength to finally step before your grave, he fell to his knees, gently placing the bouquet in front of the urn of ashes. He took the incense sticks and matches on the side of your grave and lit a stick, placing it beside the flowers.
“I’m finally here, Y/N,” Bakugou said breathlessly, smiling softly. “I’m a really shitty husband for showing up two years late, but I’m here.”
He looked at your name engraved into the stone, that alone making his heart beat faster. Bakugou got up from his position and sat down cross legged in front of your grave, letting out a deep sigh. “I’m the biggest asshole there is. My wife died and I didn’t even go to her funeral ‘cause I didn’t wanna believe that it was true that you were gone.”
Bakugou felt his eyes begin to water and he attempted to suppress them, not wanting to cry in front of you. “Death is a fucked up thing, ya know. I saw your body in that damn room, I saw it with my own eyes. But I still didn’t want to believe it because you were still in that room. But when I left, I thought I would come to my senses but I didn’t. I didn’t realize you were really gone until I woke up in the middle of the night and you weren’t next to me to tell me it’s okay. You weren’t there motivating me even when I was being a dumbass or being hard on myself. You weren’t there to say that you love me.”
Despite how hard he tried, a single tear fell from Bakugou’s eye, one that he wiped away immediately. He didn’t want this “reunion” to be a sad one. “Months after I left I realized that you were really gone. Because when you died, it didn’t hit me all at once. It hit me slowly day by day as I began to see you weren’t there. And it fucking hurts, Y/N. It fucking hurts to not see you here.” 
Bakugou reached into his pocket, pulling out your ring and put it inside the bouquet. “Your dad mailed that to the house when I came back and I thought I was gonna pass out on the spot. Your parents almost had a heart attack once they saw me after all this time without telling them anything. Hell, my folks were pissed, too, ‘specially my mom and she almost beat my ass.”
Bakugou let out a humorless laugh and then another sigh. “Kirishima and my parents said ‘hi’ by the way and how much they missed you. Kaminari, Sero, and the girls also miss you, too. We all fucking miss you, Y/N. And I’d do anything to have you next to me.”
“But that’s not the point,” Bakugou said adamantly. “I’m not gonna sit here and mope about how much I wish you were here ‘cause that’s expected. I know you wouldn’t want me to be sad ‘cause you’re the sweetest person I’ve ever known who cares way too much about others than she does about herself. And I want you to know that you don’t have to worry about me. I’ve got people here to do that, so you just relax up there. You’re finally free, Y/N. You’re free from that sad ass room and I hope you’re finally happy now.” 
Bakugou reached into his pocket one last time, pulling out the unlit and destroyed candles that you had attempted to light a few years ago using your quirk. He placed them beside the bouquet. “Whenever I see these shits I get pissed ‘cause it reminds me about your quirk, about how something you couldn’t control and something that was supposed to help you was what killed you. But now I look at it and it reminds me about all the time we spent together, about all the times we spent in that room.”
Bakugou looked up at your gravesite for one final time, memorizing it as best as he could. “I know you didn’t want me to be a fucked up mess when you were gone, but I couldn’t help it. The heartbreak I felt when you left me is a feeling I could never describe ‘cause it fucking sucks. But I’d go through it all over again if it meant just having another minute with you.”
Bakugou raised a hand to the stone, his fingers tracing the engraving of your name. “I’ve never loved and will never love anyone as much as I love you, (L/N) (F/N). And I can’t wait for the day when I can see you again…”
…will be the day we bid our last goodbye.❞
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puppy-phum · 4 years
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2020 – a (content creator) year in review
I decided to make this into a mix of these two games I was (kinda?) tagged into so thank you for @leonzhng and @tiesanjiao ♥ I hope you don’t mind me doing it like this ^^ all the questions were just so interesting that I wanted to try!
(bc of the amount of questions, I’m placing them under a cut so that I don’t flood anyone’s dash) 
Me
(this is the 2020 year in review that hanyi tagged me to ♥ sorry am so late!)
Top 5 Movies you saw this year
wow tbh I didn’t watch many movies this year as I realized yesterday when I was thinking about this for certain reasons. Or at least I feel like I didn’t watch that many? Nothing really stuck with me it seems.
Because of this, I will only mention two: Parasite and The Old Guard. Those were both wonderful in their own ways and I’m very happy I got to watch them both ^^
Top 5 TV shows you watched this year
this one is difficult bc I watched so many (and forgot even more?) but:
The Lost Tomb Reboot (my introduction to DMBJ. this drama stole my heart and helped me through the tough autumn semester!) 
Joy of Life (it’s nuts that this happened during 2020? it feels like it was ages ago)
Kingdom (such a positive surprise and I really hope we get more of this :o I really recommend!)
Detective L (easy, nice aesthetics, amazing costumes. Bai Yu was a delight as Luo Fei)
Sand Sea (I am still baffled by how much I loved this bc I had so many doubts? am happy I did tho)
Bonus: Guardian (bc it has come to stay and the rewatch has been so emotional but so rewarding)
Top 5 songs of 2020
this is a tough one too bc I’ve heard so much new music during 2020 but I will try to put it simply:
Black Swan by BTS (I absolutely adore this song. I listened to it on repeat when it came out at the beginning of the year, I have cried for it a ton, I enjoy every stage I see for it and it’s just a masterpiece. it has also helped a bit with my writing struggles that I’ve felt creeping up on me lately)
Always by By The Coast (an amazing song that always leaves me in my feels. inspires me a lot all the time)
Love me or Leave me by DAY6 (this whole album was a masterpiece and I listened to it on loop for like. two weeks? this was my favorite song on it even if I adored the rest too, especially Zombie)
all of my life by Park Won (listened to this a lot in relation to my xicheng and the wedding I finally got to write for them ;; that’s one good thing that came out of this year tbh)
雨人 by 刘畅 (Liu Chang) (with the Reboot’s ending song, this one is my favorite on that ost. I love Liu Chang’s voice, I loved Liu Sang as a character and as I said, I loved Reboot as a drama. I get super emotional about this ost so I think it defined this year a lot for me)
Top 5 books you read in 2020  
All For The Game -trilogy (listened to these as audiobooks but that counts right?)
The Song of Achilles (as an audiobook too and really adored the reader’s voice)
The Smoke Thieves -series (I really just binge read the two first books in this series and am so excited for the next one!)
Call Down The Hawk (love love love)
Guardian novel (am not very into these novels usually but I was positively surprised this time? it was so cool to finally get the original story and compare it with the drama version)
5 positive things that happened in 2020
joined mdzsnet and met all the amazing ppl there and got to become part of this loving community and :’) I’m so thankful, it’s been a joy
learned more about editing? or started doing it regularly. I still can’t do shit but am having fun learning more all the time and I really hope that maybe the upcoming year I can switch to PS and try out giffing?
went to Halsey’s concert! it was in february so a bit before all the hassle with covid happened over here ;; it was super cool and so nice and I just. I love Halsey
fell into the DMBJ hellhole which am very much enjoying. it’s a great universe and the story is so good and the dramas have been so fun to watch and. it feels like a good continuation to The Untamed somehow haha (also brought me a new friend! you’re amazing ashen!! ♥)
started therapy and it’s been... a journey. but towards something better I think? it’s something I would’ve needed ages ago but it’s better late than never I suppose
My Creations
(this is the other part where ali was being super sweet and mentioned me ♥ thank you for being so awesome!)
1. first creation and most recent creation of 2020: wow it’s been a while since I’ve looked at this horrible creation but here ya go jkdhgk [x]. I’ve come a long way from this (and my xicheng has come a long way from this too). most recent one is this xiaoge edit that I absolutely adore [x]. 
2. one of your favorite creations from 2020: this wwx edit that was part of my agust d2 edit series [x]. I loved to give him blue instead of his typical red. 
3. a new style you tried this year and a gifset edit that uses it: this [x] wwx edit which I don’t know if I like or not but I was playing around with the font and all the effects instead of just normal screenshots + coloring. also I just adore the quote. 
4. a creation to be proud of: I could mention that xiaoge here but in addition, I will also say this wu xie edit for reboot [x]. I managed to capture my vision so well, I was surprised. for cql, this songxiao edit [x]. I loved how it turned out in the end. 
5. a creation that took forever: this wangxian edit [x]. like I’ve said several times, I lost sleep bc of it. I just kept struggling with the third pic and how to place the text there D: 
6. your creation from 2020 that received the most notes: this lwj/wangxian edit [x]. I had many ideas for this edit when I first started making it and I never managed to capture my vision in the way I first intended... the pictures I was supposed to use just never fit quite right sigh. I dunno why it was this one that gained all the notes in the end bc I personally think I have better ones too but am still thankful :’D 
7. a creation you think deserved more notes: as said, dmbj fandom on tumblr is very small so I really want to say the two already mentioned ones (wu xie and xiaoge) and then my pingxie edits [x] [x]. also these wwx edits which I personally am very happy about [x] [x]. and from my agust d2 series, this yun bros one [x].
8. a new fandom you joined and a creation you made for it: really just dmbj this year and I’ve already linked all of my creations for that :’D tho I have plans for another pingxie edit and a liu sang edit! oh and maybe I could mention guardian here with this shen wei [x]. I had so much fun while making it (also the quote just haunted me relentlessly until I gave it a moment). 
9. a creation you made that breaks your heart: this must be my easter islanders (lwj and jc) edit [x] that just. awoke many thoughts in me? I’m going to put a link to the version where you can read my ramblings underneath :’D 
10. a ‘simple’ creation that you really love: my creation for the creator (gif?) challenge that was going around! [x] it was simple and nice to do and I loved the result. also, it was nice to work with jl for a change :’) 
11. a favorite creation created by someone else: oh wow ok so this is going to be rough bc I have so many favorites ;; you can look at this post here [x] to see more! 
but to love my two taggers am going to say these [x / x] [x] [x] [x] [x] by hanyi (I always love your edits, the colors you choose, the thoughts you put into them (and your humor too!). there are so many cool things you’ve done that I just stay in awe of! I adore all of it ;; ♥) and these [x] [x] [x] [x] [x] by ali (I love all of your gifsets so much, they have such pretty colors and such good scenes, and I am thankful every day that you make all the amazing dmbj content, pls never stop ;; I should go through all of your creations properly one day! I noticed you have sand sea stuff too and let me scream?) ^^ ♥
12. your favorite content creators and blogs that you appreciate: this is going to be a huge list and I’ve already made my love heard for some but no hurt in doing it again so @i-am-just-a-kiddo @ashenwren @tiesanjiao @kholran @lzswy @englishbunnyrocks @leonzhng @aheartfullofjolllly @yibobibo @inkblue-black @cross-d-a @bloody-bee-tea @fytheuntamed @mdzsnet @lifegoesmon @creeds-eagle @underaswift-sunrise @sarawatsaraleo @lan-xichens @mylastbraincql @wangxianbunnydoodles @manhasetardis @distantsnows @ohsehuns @minmoyu @linglynz @highwarlockkareena @yiqiie @aowyn @alienwlw @wangxiians @kingbadcat @sassyassassy @tytangfei @lanzhannnn @skzmxtp @leoyunxi @yoonqiful @softjeon @rapbabenamjoon @ronan-adam @miyakuli @pavusdorian @arsuf @brolinskeep @gawincaskeyy and so many others! (sorry for all the random ppl on this list that I’ve never even talked to ^^’ just know that you make my dash a wonderful place! ♥) 
I won’t tag anyone separately here but everyone who’s already been tagged or sees this is free to do this (or link me posts if you’ve done these already!) ♥ have a nice day everyone! 
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aelysianmuse · 4 years
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DESTIEL FIC REC
Okay, so, fanfiction is something that has brought me so much joy, entertainment and comfort during these hard times. These are the Destiel fics that I have bookmarked and would suggest for everyone to read. They are top notch in every department and I’ve read each and every multiple times. I wrote them down from the lowest word count to the highest and I linked the authors to their tumblr accounts, whenever I could find them, so please go shower them with love!
Touchstone - by xylodemon -   Words: 3,519 - Summary: "You're in pain," Cas says finally. He sounds sad. (Episode tag for 11x03, the one where Dean is hurt but doesn’t think he deserves Cas healing him. Cas disagrees and makes heals him in loveliest, most tender way. Everything is beautiful.)
Colette - by englandwouldfall - Words: 4,218 - Summary: Cain’s prediction keeps ringing in his ears. He’s going to kill Crowley, then Cas, then Sam. It makes sense to him. He hates how much sense it makes, but there’s something almost poetic about it; it’s circular, neat, the Mark wants it. The Mark wants to destroy everything, but most of all it wants to destroy Dean. And that would do it. (Episode tag 10x14, Dean struggling with the Mark, unable to deal with all the anger and urge to kill and Cas trying to be his savior Collette. Feelings are acknowledged but things are far more complicated than that.)
Newton’s Third - by felolle - Words: 6,220 - Summary: “How can I be running from something when I’m racing toward it?” “I dunno -- kinda your thing.” Thanks for the call out, little brother (Episode tag 14x03, Cas helping Dean deal with Michael possession. Awesome character portrayal!)
Take me home tonight - by persephoneshadow -  Words: 8,111 -  Summary: The one where Cas wants to have sex and Dean is there to help (It’s a PWP where it takes some jealousy for Dean to get his head out of his ass - and Cas knows exactly what he’s doing)
Boys on film - by loversantiquities - Words: 8,540 - Summary: But maybe that’s what it is—maybe Castiel’s finally realized something Dean is too chicken to admit, despite the fact he’s been jerking off to the idea of Castiel fucking him for the past few weeks. The idea warms him as much as it pains him to think about, his friend not being able to talk to him about something like that. That has to be it—it’s the only explanation. Castiel likes him.“Or maybe he knows you do cam shows.”Dean chokes on his burger. (Basically Dean does cam-shows, Cas knows. They get it on in the end.)
Cuckoo and Nest - by komodobits - Words: 10, 190 - Summary: For a long time, Castiel thought that every earthly possession other than the immediately necessary was excess to requirement. But Dean – Dean who named his car, who keeps a photograph of his mother in his wallet, some thirty-plus years after her death, who still has the crumpled ‘Do Not Disturb’ sign with a sleeping pelican emblazoned on it from the Microtel outside of Roanoke where he first kissed Castiel, clumsy and unsure, under the unsteady fluorescence of an exhausted bathroom bulb – is sentimental.It puzzles Castiel, where Dean draws the line between what is meaningful and what it is worthless. (Boys walking on eggshells around each other, Castiel mistaking Dean’s neatness for annoyance about Cas’s lack of thereof, Dean mistaking Cas’s apprehension for having one foot out of the door. Miscommunication that gets resolved. It’s delightful!)
Just turn around and go - by Porcupinegirl - Words: 11,320 - Summary: Dean should be happy. His best friend and housemate of five years, Castiel, is moving out to live with his boyfriend, Balthazar. Dean's career is going great, so he can easily afford the house on his own now. This is just growing up, moving forward to the next phase of their lives.It would be awesome, if he weren't in love with Cas. (Some angst and miscommunication among roomies who are in love but needed a little push to finally do something about it, and that push is Cas deciding to move out and live with his actual boyfriend. Things work out just fine.)
So glad we made it - by annie d (scaramouche) - Words: 16,421 - Summary: At twelve years old, Dean makes a friend, who becomes his best friend, who will eventually become the love of his life. (Destiel fic in which they know each other since childhood and take their sweet-ass time with admitting to each other that they’re otp: meant to be. But it happens. Timeline of little snippets that show them falling in love and owning that shit up, at last!)
I know who I want to take me home- by annodominique -  Words: 17,548 - Summary: The one where Dean and Cas are new workmates who hate each other's guts, are somehow forced into driving each other crazy because they secretly want to fuck, and they might have fallen in love with each other in the process. (Lots of sexual tension, mutual pining and enemies to lovers storyline - all in a nursing home. It’s amazing and absolutely heartwarming.)
Welcome to humanity - by winnywriter -  Words: 19,944 - Summary: Castiel is falling, slowly but surely becoming fully human. Every day there is something new to discover, and many of those discoveries are not wholly pleasant ones. And the whole time, Dean can't help but worry about the fact that the further the angel falls, the more he finds he likes the human Cas is becoming. (It’s exactly what the summary says it is. Moments of Castiel slowly becoming human and Dean trying to help him navigate that path while navigating it himself in the most Dean way possible)
On air - by wincechesters - Words: 21,219 - Summary: Cas and Dean are radio DJs who host the second most popular morning show in Lawrence. They’ve been co-hosts for years at different stations across the country, and they own a house together out of necessity, even though they’re just friends. But for some reason, a lot of their listeners and even some of their friends and family seem to think that they’re secretly in some kind of relationship, which they’re totally not (besides that one time that totally doesn’t count). In spite of that, Dean thinks he’s got everything figured out, until an ill-fated on air game of Truth or Dare turns everything upside down (and the billboards around town aren’t helping either). (Friends to lovers story that’s very well summarized, so I have nothing to add except that it’s such a wonderful read, this author is absolutely amazing and you should definitely read it.)
The Beach House in the Winter - by englandwouldfall - Words: 23,715 - Summary: They're not exactly in a good place right now, so it was probably a bad idea to agree to a full Milton family reunion at their old summer haunt to mark a year since Cas' father died.Obviously, he did it anyway. (This is a second part of a series, I absolutely suggest reading all of the works ‘cause they’re equally wonderful, but I read this one first and individually and loved it the most so I’m suggesting it. Look at tag warnings. It’s about Dean having panic attacks mid sex due to trauma, Castiel trying to treat him right and handle the situation properly. They love each other so much ugh)
There are many things - by imogenbynight -  Words: 28,807 - Summary: In which Dean and Castiel learn, through trial and error, how to be together. (What starts out as an angsty fic that follows Cas’s human experience after Dean kicked him out of the bunker, turns into a Destiel falling in love fic as they find their way back to one another)
Sometimes it fits - by ballsdeepinwinchesters -  Words: 37,720 - Summary: Castiel is an over-worked, socially awkward neurosurgeon; Dean is the ruggedly handsome paramedic that asks him out for drinks. The rest kind of fell into place. (Two hotties with busy work schedules having lots of sex and being domestic. It’s a lot of fluff and smut. No angst.)
Put up your dukes - by saltyfeathers - Words: 38, 282 - Summary: Dean can't sleep. Cas offers to tire him out. (Dean struggling to accept the sexual tension relief Castiel is oh-so-eager to offer. So much tension, sparring goodness and bed sharing.)
All’s well that ends well - englandwouldfall - Words:  52,326 - Summary: Dean knew the second he took off that he shouldn't have left, but that didn't mean he could have guessed what he'd be coming back home to. (It’s actually a part 4 of the series, and I do suggest reading the entire series, but I read it first and individually before even realizing this and I absolutely loved it nonetheless. It’s about both Dean and Cas having made some poor choices in the past, abandonment and infidelity and two of them loving each other so much that they’re willing to forgive and fight for each other no matter what. Angsty and beautiful.)
A midterms night’s dream - by englandwouldfall -  Words: 75,756 - Summary: There's at least fifteen good reasons why they're not sleeping together, it's just that Dean can’t remember them when Cas sends him one second dirty snapchats to goad him into doing the dishes. (One of my absolutely favorite fics and one of my top 3 fic authors (does a lot of series, which gets you really emotionally invested!). I suggest you read literally every single Destiel story written by this author, ‘cause it’s consistent in character portrayal and in invoking emotional response and I’ll probably explicitly write down at least one more story that I particularly liked from them. This one’s about them being college roomates who’re basically oblivious to sharing sentiment of wanting to be in relationship with the other, so they pine emotionally while having exceptional we-are-strictly-fuck-buddies sex)
Version 2.0 - by elizabeth1985 - Words: 75,937 - Summary: Life is nothing but a series of processes. We rise, we work, we function within the walls we’ve designed for ourselves. Dean Winchester does not deviate from this system. Heavily tattooed and a certified genius; Dean necessitates control. Relationships are a no-go. Too messy, unpredictable. And yeah, he knows having casual sex with his best friend, roommate, and business partner is a dumbass move. But Cas’ suggestion is impossible to resist.What Dean doesn’t expect and couldn’t possibly predict is the unique way Cas manages to shut down his mile-a-minute mind, giving him a level of inner peace he’d thought to be unattainable.What starts out of convenience morphs into a dynamic emotional slide neither of them were prepared for, forcing them to decide what they’re willing to risk. (Cas and Dean being business partners turning to fuck buddies turning to mutually pining idiots, where Cas won’t let things progress further ‘cause Dean is so entwined in every single aspect of his life that he’s absolutely terrified to lose it all. But Dean makes an effort to show him otherwise!) + It’s hard to fool around in a tent (Words: 5,861)
Any little heartbreak - by followthattardis - Words: 76,897 - Summary: Dean Winchester knows everything there is to know about the human heart. Well. Anatomically speaking. (Very Grey’s Anatomy-y, Dean is a thriving cardiosurgeon, Cas is his new surgical nurse assistant, there are so many well written characters, so much gossip, gratuitous sex and eventually a relationship. It’s so lovely, ugh I love this writer.)
A crash course in computer safety - by followthattardis - Words:  85,269 - Summary: On the day of his 29th birthday, Dean receives an email from his old nemesis: Michael Milton, the guy who got him kicked out of college and stole his girlfriend. The email contains encoded images with top secret CIA/NSA intelligence – and now their only copy is in Dean’s brain. Both agencies send their best operatives – Castiel Novak and Victor Henriksen respectively – to handle their accidental asset and protect the invaluable data in his head. To justify their sudden appearance in Dean’s life, they adopt covers: Victor as Dean’s new co-worker and neighbor, Cas as his new boyfriend. Needless to say, Dean’s brother and his girlfriend are thrilled to see him in a relationship they believe to be real. Clearly, there’s no way this could go wrong. (This is a NBC: Chuck AU and one of my top 3 fics ever. I haven’t watched Chuck at all and regardless of whether you have or not, I don’t wanna write anything else in this section ‘cause I enjoyed discovering every bit of information on my own. I’ve literally taken this fic and studied/analyzed it as a writer myself to take pointers on accurate character portrayal and writing style. It’s book material, I’d literally buy anything this author writes. It’s becoming a series and more content is to come so I suggest subscribing.) + Curtain up (Words: 10,311)
La hantise (The only work in progress fic here) - by quiettewandering - Words:  87,468 - Summary: Castiel’s mother dies, leaving him the family home that sits abandoned on the moody coast of Maine. He’s forced to return to the past ghosts of his trauma, as well as meeting the mysterious and nomadic Dean Winchester. Dean offers to help Castiel fix up the house so he can sell it, which quickly becomes problematic as Castiel begins to develop feelings for Dean; especially when details of Dean’s troubling past come to light.This is a story about the sea, second chances, and two broken, forgotten people building a love between them while restoring a broken, forgotten house. (Romance, ghosts, house renovation, cliffhangers, angst - I am awful with WP’s, never read them till they’re done ‘cause I’m an impatient one but this is the one I couldn’t resist and thoroughly enjoy)
Ignore the butterflies: best friend advice from Dean Winchester - by impatient14 - Words:  114,837 - Summary: Dean likes his doctor, but his doctor doesn’t like him.Accidental friendship ensues, heartwarming bonding type moments occur, and oops!friends become best!friends.But best friends aren’t supposed to feel the way Dean feels about Castiel. He knows this. So he ignores all the things that he can’t help feeling. When he sits and watches a movie with his best friend or when they are arguing about which method of coffee brewing is best, he pointedly doesn’t look at his friends lips, or the adorable way he tilts his head when he doesn’t understand.Dean ignores his feelings.That’s the way he knows how to keep his best friend.Just ignore the butterflies. (Dean is a heroic firefighter who ends up in stand-offish Castiel’s ER and flirts mercilessly with him, but to no avail. Cas is not made of stone, though, he’s just trying to protect his little heart ‘cause Dean does scary heroic things. It’s super emotional, go read it.)
Keeping you in sight - by gingerswag - Words:  136,374 - Summary: Castiel valued his solitude, and was happy to stay hidden away in the mountains for the rest of his life. But when his seeing eye dog dies, that solitude is suddenly broken when Gabriel shows up not with another dog but an actual human slave. Castiel doesn't believe in slavery, but he can't turn away the very hurt and broken man he's given. (This is a slavery fic, look up the tag warnings! It’s extremely angsty, it has a very human and rational ending which not might satisfy those looking for a conclusive, expressed fairytale ending for these two. It’s about Dean having gone through a lot of trauma and Cas being extremely lonely and two of them trying to mend each other while going through an excruciatingly painful healing process. I don’t think I can summarize it in a way that envelops everything that happens in this fic - it’s a tougher read but absolutely wonderfully written and very angsty)
Stay with me, sweetheart - by mandalarose - Words: 142,926 - Summary: A single moment's distraction ends with a serious car accident that leaves Castiel trapped in his vehicle. Fortunately for him, fire fighter Dean Winchester is there, never leaving Castiel's side as the rest of his company work to free him from the mangled remains of his SUV.When the two meet again in the ICU, Castiel finds himself just as drawn to and comforted by the handsome fireman as he was during his accident. Dean is certainly attractive, but single father Castiel doesn't have time or space in his life for a romantic relationship.Then again, there's no harm in making a new friend, is there? (Dean is so whipped, so is Cas but he tries really hard not to get invested ‘cause everyone leaves and it’s not a commodity he can afford now that he’s got a baby. Thankfully for him, Dean is all-in kind of guy who’s gonna make all the right choices, one after another, fighting to show Cas that he can have what he desires and deserves, even after multiple attempts of Cas’s to push him away. Love conquers all!)
Four Letter Word for Intercourse - by bendingsignpost - Words:  194,739 - Summary: As a grease monkey turned college freshman, Dean's constantly three seconds away from being stressed out of his mind. It hardly helps that he's finally figuring out his sexuality in his thirties.What might help with that stress is a little phone number (and a big credit card bill). If he can't figure out how to be bisexual in person, he can at least give it a go over the phone, right? (I think I probably read this story a hundred times. Fantastically written fic where Dean is a student discovering his sexuality through a phone sex line, struggling with having to take over family business and Cas is a professor with a sidejob, with whom Dean interacts wordlessly at the library. It tackles on mental health, on wonderful sex dynamics, coming out and lots of other stuff. It’s one of the best writen fics out there, along with the other works in this series that I highly suggest to read: A Little Anal - Words: 18,805 and What makes a man kneel - Words: 9,920)
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wrestlingisfake · 3 years
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Resurgence preview
It's been a year now since New Japan launched their US-based show, NJPW Strong. I'm sure the original plans involved running US tours with a mix of American regulars and visiting stars from the main Japanese roster. The pandemic, however, limited the scope of Strong, mainly featuring minor leagues on a closed set. It almost felt like a parallel universe with little relationship to the "real" NJPW. Now, finally, the brand gets to do a show in front of an actual crowd, and we get to see this concept the way it was meant to be seen.
The show airs live on NJPWworld (999 yen for one month--about $9.12 US) at 11pm EDT. Or, if you just cannot handle setting up your payment on a Japanese website, you can get the show on FITE.tv for $19.99 US. Both services should make the show available on-demand later, in case you want to wait until you're done watching Triplemania.
Lance Archer vs. Hiroshi Tanahashi - Archer is defending the IWGP United States champioship. The title was in limbo through most of 2020, as Jon Moxley was unable to schedule a defense in either New Japan or AEW. That changed in 2021, as thawing relations between the two promotions led to more Moxley title matches, until he lost the belt to Archer on July 21. Shortly before Archer's first defense on July 28, AEW aired a video of Tanahashi challenging the winner of that match.
This is Tana's first show outside of Japan since the pandemic began, and his first match in California in nearly three years. I'm not sure anyone expected him to be here, given that the New Japan of America operation has focused on building up North American talent rather than bringing in big stars from the home promotion. So this is a special treat for the live audience, above and beyond Archer coming in from AEW.
I expect a pretty straightforward match with Archer killing Tana with big power moves and Tana rallying for a big babyface comeback. In a vacuum I would think either man could end up with the belt. However, the real story to this match is that Tanahashi went out of his way to make a challenge for the US title, but not until after Jon Moxley lost it. So Moxley has accused Tana of ducking him, and it stands to reason that he'll confront the winner of this match to close the show. That feels like a formula for Tana vs. Mox for the title, maaaybe at the AEW pay-per-view on September 5. Everyone sure seems to hope that's where we're headed, so I don't think a lot of people will be pulling for Archer tonight.
Jay White vs. David Finlay - This is White's first defense of the NEVER openweight championship. It's also his first New Japan match since May, as the quarantine procedures for entering Japan have made travel pretty rough for the non-Japanese talent. As I recall, Finlay received this title shot because he pinned White back in March. Finlay hasn't been back in Japan since that tour. Both of these guys have been in Impact Wrestling as of late.
Originally, the idea behind White winning the NEVER title was to set up a match with Hiroshi Tanahashi at one of the Wrestle Grand Slam stadium shows that New Japan scheduled this summer. The aforementioned travel problems seem to have scuttled that, so now White is facing The Other Guy From FinJuice.
The biggest buzz I've heard surrounding this match is that Finlay appeared on Wrestling Observer Live to promote the show and ended up giving fans the impression that he wanted to go to NXT. I mean, Finlay could be fucking with us on that. But it's not a good sign when people are mainly interested in a match because they're looking for signs that one of the participants is fixing to leave the promotion. Not that it affects the finish, of course--Finlay could sign with NJPW for a million years, and he still wouldn't be booked to beat White for a title in 2021.
Tomohiro Ishii vs. Moose - This match kind of came out of nowhere. Ishii isn't exactly a top guy in New Japan but he's always right below that level, clobbering most of the roster and getting clobbered to set up new contenders. Most of the NJPW Strong roster would be underdogs against him. But then, Moose isn't on the Strong roster--he's coming over from Impact, where he's been pushed as a top heel for months. Moose is a 6-foot-5 big mean guy and Ishii is a 5-foot-7 big mean guy, so this should be an interesting contrast. It's easily the most interesting match on the show.
I'd like to see Moose win, since it'd be a slight upset and he could use the momentum for whatever he's doing next. But if he is gonna win, Ishii is going to convince you that he had to work his ass off to earn it. I'm looking forward to this.
Tom Lawlor & JR Kratos & Danny Limelight & Jorel Nelson & Royce Isaacs vs. Lio Rush & Chris Dickinson & Adrian Quest & Fred Yehi & Yuya Uemura - Lawlor is the NJPW Strong champion and his team is the New Japan version of "Team Filthy." The babyface team originally featured Brody King, but he was pulled from the card at the last minute due to "unforeseen circumstances", so Adrian Quest is substituting for him. That's a real tough break for the good guys.
There are several storylines at play here. Lio Rush stepped up as the next challenger for Lawlor's title, and they'll have that match at the August 16 tapings. Dickinson was kicked out of Team Filthy, and is currently aligned with Brody King's Violence Unlimited stable. Uemura had been working on the Japan roster as a Young Lion, but he's just begun his excursion so he has a chance to really express himself as a performer.
If Rush wasn't already positioned as Lawlor's next challenger, I might think this match could end with someone pinning Lawlor. As it is, though, it probably makes more sense for Team Filthy to win in a dominant fashion. Yehi and Quest are basically undercard scrubs, and Uemura just now graduated to that position. Rush and Dickinson aren't going to be able to carry so many weak links.
Juice Robinson vs. Hikuleo - Juice has spent most of 2021 teaming with David Finlay over on Impact, whereas Hikuleo has been wrestling on Strong and more recently on a few AEW shows. Given that Hikuleo is 6-foot-8 you'd expect him to squash everything in his path, but New Japan isn't afraid to have more established stars get the better of him. Whether Juice is one of those more established stars remains to be seen.
Juice biggest career highlight was winning the IWGP US title, and Hikuleo's was challenging for that title a few weeks ago. If one of them is going to be in the hunt for that belt, then winning this match should be step one. As much as I'd like to see Juice back in the chase, I get the feeling it'll be Hikuleo taking that role.
Karl Anderson & Doc Gallows vs. Jon Moxley & X - The Good Brothers (Gallows and Anderson) are the Impact Wrestling men's tag team champions, but their title is not at stake here. I think Moxley was originally booked to team with Syota Umino on this show, but travel restrictions prevented Umino from coming into LA. One way or another, Moxley will have a mystery partner that won't be revealed until the match begins.
The backstory is that Gallows and Anderson have been a thorn in Moxley's side every time he's tried to fight Kenny Omega, or really anybody in Omega's stable. With that in mind, the most logical partner would be Sami Callihan, who has a history with Moxley and unfinished business with Omega's group. People have been asking for a Moxley-Callihan reunion from the minute AEW and Impact started collaborating, and there's no reason it can't happen here. On the other hand, I wonder if that's something New Japan would do as a surprise, as opposed to advertising it ahead of time.
If Moxley's partner isn't Callihan, there's a serious risk that the live crowd will start chanting for Callihan and disrupt the match. So if they're going with someone else, it'd better be good. I suppose Eddie Kingston would be accepted, although again, why would that be something you do as a surprise? Personally, I'm all about Moxley and the cold, deadly eyes of Shooter Umino, so I know I'll be disappointed no matter what. :(
Anyway, it'd be stupid for Moxley's team to lose this match.
Rocky Romero & Fred Rosser & Wheeler Yuta vs. TJP & Clark Connors & Ren Narita - This is a pretty good sampling of the NJPW Strong midcard. Of this group, Romero has the most clout with the main New Japan roster. Rosser is still best known as WWE's Darren Young, the guy from the Nexus who looks exactly like John Cena. Yuta has been making waves on AEW, filling in for Trent Beretta with Orange Cassidy's group, so I guess he and Rocky are both Best Friends Twice Removed or something. TJP is a former WWE cruiserweight champion and Impact X division champion. Connors is one of the guys from the Gekiochi-kun ads--I think he's the one who snaps his fingers to teleport everybody. Ren Narita is the guy who used to wrestle Syota Umino all the time, but Syota is not on this show. :(
Alex Coughlin vs. Karl Fredericks - When Strong started, Coughlin, Fredericks, and Clark Connors were the three Young Lions from the LA Dojo who worked as prelim guys. Since then I believe Connors and Fredericks have "graduated," and Coughlin is still working on it. I'm pretty sure Fredericks is the one in the Gekiochi-kun ads that says "that's pretty cool." I don't remember what Coughlin does in those ads, so clearly he needs to get his ass in gear. Anyway, I guess Fredericks wins.
Bateman & Mysterioso & Barrett Brown vs. The DKC & Kevin Knight & Jordan Clearwater - This is scheduled as a dark match 30 minutes before the live stream begins. I've heard most of these names, but the only one I kinda know is Bateman from whatever goofy stable he's in at Ring of Honor. I dunno, I guess his side wins.
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splendidlyimperfect · 4 years
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critical hit - chapter 3 [they're taking the hobbits to isengard]
When Sting tells Natsu that one of his friends from school is going to be joining their weekly Dungeons & Dragons game, Natsu isn’t impressed - their table is already full. But while Natsu and Gray’s in-game characters clash completely, Natsu finds that real-life Gray might not be that bad after all.
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Chapter Summary: D&D night gets unexpectedly cancelled, but Natsu wants to hang out with Gray anyway.
Rating: Teen and Up Audiences
Pairings: Natsu/Gray, Sting/Rogue
Tags: Modern AU, Dungeons & Dragons, Role-Playing Games, Awkward Flirting, ADHD Natsu, Geek Gray
*i know i haven’t updated this in two whole years (my bad) but i finally got inspiration so thanks for your patience and enjoy <3*
*link to ao3 in the comments cause tumblr keeps fucking up my posts*
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“I’m stoked for this fight tonight!” Natsu grinned at Gray, who was curled up in the passenger seat of Natsu’s car, looking out the window at the slowly setting sun. “We’re gonna kick this thing’s ass.”
“I dunno about that,” Gray replied, fiddling with his necklace. Natsu couldn’t quite make out what the pendant was. “We’re all nearly dead and out of magic. We might be fucked.”
“Pfff,” Natsu scoffed, pulling out of the Starbucks parking lot and heading towards home. “Maybe with that attitude. Don’t worry, we’ll pull a win out of this. We always do! Did I tell you about the time we dropped a house on a dragon?”
Gray shook his head and Natsu launched into the story, complete with wild hand gestures and sound effects. He could feel Gray’s gaze on him as he listened intently, even when the retelling took several unexpected detours. It made something warm grow in Natsu’s chest. Most people in his life were used to his rambling, chalking it up to his ADHD and excitable nature. They usually tuned him out after a while, though, or nodded along while drifting off to something else.
Gray listened, though. He’d shifted in his seat to face Natsu, knee tucked under his leg, coffee held between both hands, and Natsu could feel the deliberate way he followed Natsu’s words. It made Natsu feel important.
He’d just wrapped up another story where they had accidentally created a super-intelligent zombie when both of their phones pinged.
“It’s Sting,” Gray said. “So sorry guys, I can’t make it tonight, work called me in last minute. Can we reschedule for next week?”
Natsu felt a flood of disappointment wash through him as he glanced over at Gray, whose brow was furrowed as he stared at his phone. He was so cute – he had gotten his eyebrow pierced at some point during the week, and it made him even more adorable.
“Well,” Natsu said, chewing on his lip. “That sucks.”
An awkward silence filled the car. Natsu really didn’t want to drive Gray home – he’d been waiting all week to see him, and when Natsu had picked him up, the shy smile Gray had given him had made Natsu feel breathless.
“Well, I don’t—did you wanna, uh…” Gray trailed off, tugging at a loose thread from the hole in his jeans. “I mean I don’t have any, uh, plans? Obviously, since we had—I mean, so maybe we, um, we could…”
“They put all the Lord of the Rings movies on Netflix,” Natsu said quickly, before he could chicken out. For once he was glad for the lack of filter between his brain and his mouth. “Wanna get takeout and watch one of them?”
Before the anxiety could set in, Gray glanced up and gave him a soft smile. “Yeah,” he said. “I’d like that.”
~
Gray’s favorite food turned out to be sushi.
“You’ve never had sashimi before?” he asked once they’d gotten back to Natsu’s place and unpacked the takeout onto the living room table.
“Is that the rice?” Natsu asked as he settled down cross-legged on the floor. “Or the fish?”
“The fish,” Gray said, pointing at the slices of raw salmon. “It’s good, I promise.”
Natsu gave him a dubious look, then frowned at the chopsticks that Gray handed him. “You’re gonna think I’m totally uncultured,” he said as he peeled off the wrapper, “but I’ve never used chopsticks.”  
“It’s not hard,” Gray reassured him. Natsu fumbled with the wooden sticks, glaring at them as he tried to get them to move. “Here,” Gray said, moving closer to Natsu and reaching out for his hands. “Like this.”
Natsu’s breath caught in his throat when Gray’s fingers touched his, settling the chopsticks between them and showing him where his thumb should go. Gray’s hands were cold, and each small touch made Natsu’s heart jump. His cheeks flushed hot when he dropped the chopsticks again, and this time it had nothing to do with clumsiness.
“I, uh, might have to stick to forks,” Natsu said with a nervous laugh. Gray was close enough to him that he could smell his shampoo – something light and fruity that made Natsu want to lean in and run his fingers through Gray’s hair. It looked so soft.
As if reading Natsu’s thoughts, Gray pushed his hair out of his eyes and tucked it behind his ear. Natsu’s eyes followed the movement, and when Gray’s gaze met his, he quickly looked back down at the food, hoping the heat in his cheeks wasn’t visible.
“That’s okay,” Gray said, and it took Natsu a second to realize that he was talking about the chopsticks and not the staring. “You can eat the rolls with your fingers.” He pointed at the second container. “Those ones don’t have fish in them. Just yams.”
“I’ll try the fish,” Natsu said before he could stop himself. He was glad Sting wasn’t here to tell Gray that Natsu had sworn off seafood ten years ago after going fishing with their grandfather and crying when he’d had to gut the salmon they’d caught.
It ended up being better than he’d expected, despite the strange texture.
“I haven’t had sushi in a while,” Gray admitted once they were done the meal. “I ate it every day in Japan.”
“You lived in Japan?” Natsu asked as he stuffed the styrofoam containers back into the plastic bags.
Gray nodded. “Yeah, I was there for an exchange program for a year. I’m from Montréal originally, though.” The soft way he said the word let Natsu finally place the soft accent he’d noticed every once in a while. Of course Gray was bilingual. Was there anything about him that wasn’t perfect?
“That’s awesome,” Natsu said. “When did you move here?”
“Six months ago, for school.” Gray crossed his legs, tucking his feet underneath him as he shifted on the couch cushion. “It’s really different here.”
“I can imagine,” Natsu said. “Have you made it down to Gastown yet? Rogue likes sushi and he says there’s lots of good places down there.”
“Oh, no, I haven’t.” Gray smiled as Natsu’s cat Happy hopped up onto the couch and rubbed himself against Gray’s legs. “I, um… I haven’t really been out too much. By myself.” He ran his finger behind Happy’s ears, who purred happily. “I’m a little—I get kind of anxious. Sometimes. To go alone.”
“I could take you,” Natsu offered before he could stop himself. “There’s so many places here you’d love – Granville Island’s amazing, they’ve got markets and this awesome café, and you’d probably like the art gallery there too. And if you haven’t been to the beach – well, beaches, there’s so many of them, and if you go to Stanley Park you can walk or take a bike, and there’s a…” He trailed off at the overwhelmed expression on Gray’s face. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to—”
“I’d like that,” Gray said, keeping his eyes fixed on Happy as a small smile crept across his face. “To go, I mean. With you.”
“Oh.” Natsu couldn’t hold in a grin. “Cool. It’s a date, then.”
Gray finally looked up at him and Natsu’s cheeks flushed when he realized what he’d said. Before Gray could reply, Natsu grabbed the remote from the table and thrust it into Gray’s hands.
“You can, uh, pick one. Of the movies,” he said as he pushed himself to his feet. “On Netflix. I’m gonna make popcorn.”
Natsu darted into the kitchen and exhaled, rubbing his face. His phone buzzed and he pulled it out of his pocket.
holy pain in the ass: you’d better be on a date, loser
Natsu groaned – of course Sting had done this on purpose, the asshole.
pyro-manic: you’re a jackass and a liar
holy pain in the ass: i think you mean ‘you’re welcome’
Natsu glared at the screen for a minute, trying to come up with something witty but eventually just shoving his phone back in his pocket.
When he headed back into the living room with the popcorn, Gray was still petting Happy, who had curled up in his lap and was purring contentedly. He’d taken off his hoodie and had rolled the sleeves of his World of Warcraft shirt up just enough that Natsu could see the never tell me the odds tattoo that wound around his wrist.
Natsu tried not to stare. Everything about Gray made him feel like he was thirteen with his first crush all over again. He’d dated other people before, obviously, but none of them were quite like Gray. There was something about him – a shy but carefree enthusiasm for the things he loved that drew Natsu in. It didn’t matter what kind of pop culture references Natsu made, Gray picked up on all of them. He could finish the movie quotes Natsu had memorized, knew all the best cards in Magic, had seen every anime that Natsu loved, and didn’t even tease him about his taste in music.
Natsu’s phone buzzed in his pocket again, drawing him out of his thoughts, and he ignored what he was sure was another text from Sting.
“I hope you don’t mind the subtitles,” Natsu said to Gray, gesturing at the screen as he sat down next to – but not quite touching – Gray. “I always have them on. It’s like, a thing, with my ADHD – auditory processing something? It just makes it hard to catch everything sometimes, the subtitles help.”
Gray nodded, scratching behind Happy’s ears. “It doesn’t bother me,” he said. “I usually have them on, too. It helped me when I was learning English.”
“Awesome.” Natsu took the remote and hit ‘play,’ then settled back against the couch as ‘Fellowship of the Ring’ started to play.
Natsu was glad he’d seen the movie at least ten times, because the only thing he could focus on was Gray. He couldn’t stop thinking about Sting’s text, about the word date, about the fact that he hadn’t felt like this about anyone in years. Natsu’s life was full of people – he was outgoing by nature – but none of them made him feel like Gray did.
They finished the popcorn quickly and Natsu leaned forward to set the bowl on the coffee table. When he settled back into the couch, he was certain Gray leaned into him a little. He held his breath, shifting as if to get comfortable, and ended up right next to Gray with their shoulders pressed together. It sent a thrill through Natsu and he tried his best to ignore the part of him that insisted he was not a teenager anymore and it was silly to get worked up over this. He tried to focus on the movie instead.
“You have my sword,” Aragon said on screen.
“And you have my bow.”
“And my axe.”
“And my vuvuzela,” Gray murmured absently.  
Natsu burst out laughing, immediately struck by the ridiculous video he hadn’t seen since in years. “Oh my god,” he said, nudging Gray’s shoulder with his as Gray’s cheeks turned pink. “You’re such a dork.” Before Gray could take offense, he added, “In a good way. I know exactly what you’re talking about and now I’m gonna have that song stuck in my head for the rest of the night.”
Gray laughed. “I just can’t take that scene seriously anymore,” he admitted. “My sister and I used to watch all of these movies on Christmas and quote along to it… it got pretty silly. And took forever ‘cause we’d watch all the extended editions in one sitting.” He played with his necklace as he talked, keeping his eyes on the screen.
Natsu was about to ask why they didn’t do it anymore but stopped himself when he remembered what Sting had mentioned when he’d first invited Gray to join D&D. Gray’s sister had died unexpectedly just before he’d moved here, and Gray didn’t like talking about it.
“We can watch them all if you want,” Natsu offered instead. Gray’s expression shifted and Natsu wasn’t quite sure what it meant – he was hard to read even when they weren’t talking about personal things. But then the corner of his lip curled up in a tiny smile and he nodded.
“If you can sit still that long,” he teased.
Natsu laughed. “Yeah, I might end up upside-down or something at some point. But that’s okay.”
Gray’s smile got a little wider. “I’d like that,” he said softly.
“Okay,” Natsu said. He tried his best to keep a huge grin from creeping across his face. “Cool. Yeah. Me too.” 
~
Natsu managed to sit fairly still until about halfway through ‘The Two Towers.’ They’d had plenty of breaks – including one where they’d pulled up ‘They’re Taking the Hobbits to Isengard’ on Gray’s phone and sang along until they were both laughing hysterically – but it was getting difficult to not fidget. He was about to ask if they could take another quick break when Gray shifted and the back of his hand brushed Natsu’s.
Natsu immediately froze, all restless thoughts banished from his head as he focused on the sensation of Gray’s knuckles against his. They’d been moving closer and further apart all evening, bumping shoulders and knees, but this didn’t feel like an accidental touch. Something about it was deliberate, and this time Gray wasn’t moving away.
Heat sparked in Natsu’s stomach and he stared down at their hands, hoping to hell that he wasn’t misreading Gray’s intentions as he returned the touch. He heard Gray’s soft intake of breath, and several nearly unbearable seconds passed before Gray shifted closer and slid their fingers together. He was warm against Natsu’s side, and when he carefully tipped his head onto Natsu’s shoulder, Natsu was certain that Gray could hear the frantic slamming of his heart.
He exhaled as quietly as he could as he ran his thumb down the side of Gray’s hand, enjoying the soft noise that Gray made in response. His hair tickled Natsu’s cheek, soft and fine, and when Natsu rested his cheek against the top of Gray’s head, Gray hummed happily and cuddled closer.
The uncertainty that had been following Natsu around all night immediately vanished as he let himself relax against Gray, squeezing his hand gently as they pressed against each other. It felt so right. Natsu hadn’t realized how long it had been since he’d cuddled anyone until they were both comfortable and breathing in tandem. He felt more relaxed than he had in years.
The movie kept playing but Natsu barely paid attention. His brain, always in overdrive, immediately started to whether or not he should kiss Gray, if that was moving too fast, if he should maybe put his arm around Gray or whether or not that would be a cheesy high school romcom move. Gray solved the issue a few minutes later by stretching and nudging Natsu’s arm up, then curling up against him.
“I can hear you thinking,” Gray said quietly as the battle for Helm’s Deep raged on in the background. “Or panicking. I can’t tell.”
“I’m not panicking.” Natsu wasn’t sure if he was lying or not.
“Okay.” Gray rested his head against Natsu’s collarbone. “Good.”
The movie came to an end not long after that, but Gray didn’t move. He ran his fingers up Natsu’s arm instead, touching the scar that Natsu had gotten after a motorcycle mishap years ago. Gray traced patterns between Natsu’s freckles, then ran his hand back down and touched Natsu’s palm.
“Are we—”
“Is this—”
They both laughed as they talked at the same time, and Gray shifted until he was looking up at Natsu and they were nearly cheek-to-cheek. Warmth sparked in Natsu’s stomach and he leaned in, nudging Gray’s nose with his own. There was a moment of anticipation where neither of them moved, and then Gray closed the distance and pressed their lips together.
The heat in Natsu’s chest spread as Gray kissed him, rushing across his cheeks and down to his fingertips. He made a soft sound, tipping his head and pulling Gray closer until they were facing each other. Slowly, he reached out and brushed Gray’s hair out of his face, running his fingers through the silky strands. It was just as soft as it looked.
When Gray finally pulled back, his cheeks were flushed pink and he didn’t quite meet Natsu’s eyes.
“I, um…” He bit his lip uncertainly.
“I really like you,” Natsu said quickly before he could change his mind. “Like. A lot.”
“Oh.” A small smile worked its way across Gray’s face. “Good. I like you too. Also a lot.”
Natsu laughed, leaning back in and kissing Gray’s nose. “Sting did this on purpose,” he said, gesturing to his phone that was sitting on the coffee table. “He’s an idiot, but I’m kinda glad he did.”
“Me too.”
Natsu ran his fingers through Gray’s hair again, then pulled him in for another kiss. It was soft and sweet, but Natsu’s stomach still sparked with excitement at the touch. Gray was warm everywhere they pressed together, and Natsu never wanted to let go.
Gray pressed one more kiss to Natsu’s lips, then his cheek, then pressed their foreheads together. “I haven’t dated anyone in a long time,” he admitted, cheeks flushed pink. “I just… can we take it slow?”
“Of course,” Natsu said quickly. He kissed the tip of Gray’s nose. “I’m just happy to—I like spending time with you. And kissing. That’s good—great—too. Really great.”
Gray laughed, squeezing Natsu’s hand and kissing him again. Then he looked back at the TV screen where Netflix was suggesting ‘Return of the King’ as their next film.
“You wanna keep watching?” Natsu asked. “I promised you a marathon.” He looked at the clock, which already read 2:47 a.m.
“Yes? But I know you have to work tomorrow.”
“It’s okay,” Natsu reassured him, grinning. “I actually took tomorrow off because today was supposed to be our last D&D session and I thought it might take all night. Plus, I’m not tired.” He kissed Gray’s cheek again. “Maybe just a little distracted.”
“Just a little?” Gray ran his fingers through Natsu’s hair and surprised him by tugging on it gently.
“Maybe a lot,” Natsu admitted. He ran his hand down Gray’s side, then pulled him closer until he was almost in Natsu’s lap. “But I’m okay with it.”
~
They both fell asleep on the couch before ‘Return of the King’ was over. When they woke up the next morning in each other’s arms, Gray blushed furiously, but eagerly returned Natsu’s morning kisses.
“I guess I’d better get you home,” Natsu said as he ran his fingers through the tangles in Gray’s hair. “You’ve got class soon, hey?”
Gray nodded. “I’d rather stay here,” he admitted.
“Look, I’m happy to kiss you all day, but I’m also not gonna be the reason you fail your classes.”
Gray raised an eyebrow at him. “I’ll have you know that I have a 4.0 GPA.”
“Guess I’m dating a genius then, huh?” Natsu paused. “Are we? Dating? I mean, is that what you wanna—”
“Yes.”
“Okay.” Natsu grinned, kissing Gray’s nose, then nudged him off the couch. “C’mon,” he said as he sat up and stretched. “Let’s get you some coffee and get you home.”
Natsu’s pantry was nearly empty, so they stopped for coffee and bagels and ate quietly on the drive back to Gray’s place, holding hands across the console. When they pulled into the dorm parking lot, Natsu let go regretfully and leaned over for a kiss.
“See you on Sunday?” he asked, then shook his head. “No, that’s too long. How about Tuesday? I can take you to Gastown and show you around.”
Gray’s face lit up and he nodded. “Yeah,” he said, smiling shyly at Natsu and squeezing his fingers. “I’d like that.”
“Perfect.” Natsu kissed him again, tasting coffee on his lips. “It’s a date.”    
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