#dunno if i will finish this but Hopefully! bc i wanna actually have designs for em

[dalvs-wife]

shape thoughts

[loregoddess]

why does art have to be so art

[assholemurphy]

so, i actually laid down for abt 3 hours instead of doing my itt final. oops. i didn’t even sleep, i just laid there. i mean, i tried, but i couldn’t. so, i’m gonna be out of adderall and my last pill will have worn off probs around the time i get home from shop, so, that’s gonna suck. writing two papers, a script, and reading a play with no adderall is gonna be a bitch. i’ve got my xr, maybe (still haven’t looked to see if i kept it or not, probs not), and that may help, but i’m p much fucking screwed on this one. what should take 4 hours (6 with breaks) is gonna end up taking like, 10, probably. unfortunate.

i’m gonna finish my trunk this afternoon and deal with that. it’ll take abt an hour or so. maybe one and a half. then i’ll be finished with it completely. i dunno if i’ll take it home on fri or wait til after break, it just depends. i wanna bring it home asap so i can use it when i organize my apartment, but it probs won’t be easy to carry bc while it has a handle, it’s significantly heavier than it was before, and i dunno if i’ll be able to find somebody who can help me transport it. but i can try.

one good piece of news from the shitfest that has been this past week: due to the loans i’m getting ($2k more this semester and $2k+ next semester) i’ll be able to cover the other half of the rent on my apartment (my mother will continue paying for half like she has been bc i’m jobless and don’t have the time to get one bc i get 15 hours of concentration per day and i’ve already got classes, rehearsal (if i get a part in the crucible next semester, but i will have to direct a play and design lights for a play later in the semester), shop hours (only 2 per week, but i try to stay the full afternoon, so 4 hours, unless we need a lot of help in the shop, then i’ll be there more, which will probs happen next semester), and a fuckton of homework (i’m currently enrolled in 5 classes for next semester, tho i may add a 6th if it’s offered, i need to check like, right now). i rly do not have time for a job and it’s rly hard to find one that would work with my schedule if i did bc my days are scheduled weirdly. i rly want a job, but like, finding one/actually being able to work is difficult) so i don’t actually need a roommate until fall (when my brother should be going to college) but even then, i could just keep paying it with more loans. not good in the long term, but i’ll deal with that when i graduate. so, i’m rly happy abt that. i’m gonna stick a futon in the extra room for friends, but it’ll mainly be used for art/crafting purposes. that’ll be nice. i’ll also get to decorate how i want and not in a way that ‘looks cute’ bc ewww. i just want punk shit all over the walls and an unholy amount of organizational items, is that so wrong? i also won’t have to worry about listening to the big bang theory theme play for 6 hours straight every night. and i can do hw whenever and not worry abt being interrupted. and i can cook my own meals and organize the kitchen properly (instead of the catastrophe my roommate has turned it into. tupperware in the pots cabinet!? baking pans in the pots cabinet!? things we use regularly on rly high shelves!? two fucking junk drawers!? and the dishes are never done, despite that being her chore (which i wouldn’t mind so much if she didn’t constantly nag me abt cleaning, ya know?)). it’ll be great. i’ll be able to do whatever the hell i want whenever the hell i want. i can watch whatever i want on tv. i can play video games for 6 hours straight (okay, no, i can’t, i don’t have time, but if i did). i’ll be able to have ppl over any time without worrying abt her freaking out. there’ll be space in the fridge and i can properly organize the pantry. god, i can’t wait. gonna be fucking awesome.

i do have to get ready for class now, tho, bc i’ve got to do my hair/makeup and make sure i look nice. then i’ve got to head to campus to print things and fill out forms. then my final. then the trunk. then i’m taking a goddamn nap. then i will worry abt my itt final project when i wake up. i should be up around 7p (bc i should be done in the shop by 2) so i can work on my final until 3-ish, so i should be finished by then, hopefully. i’ll sleep til 9:30a, get ready for my drs appt, turn in my final, see the dr (or see the dr then turn in the final, either way), and come home to pack for break. i would stay and organize things first, but i’m sick af and idk when i’ll be having surgery, so i’m not sure it’s a good idea to stay. i might still, tho, just until i’ve got everything organized (which might take abt 5 days). not too sure, yet. depends on when/if i can get my surgery scheduled. everything revolves around that rn. but i will have my apartment organized before next semester starts. i cannot live with my room this messy anymore, it’s driving me insane. i fucking hate disorganization and messes with a passion. like, i don’t mind clutter, rly, if it’s bc i’m working on something, but otherwise, it’s a big nope.

so, i’m off to get ready for class (after i check to see if the photography course is offered in the spring, might not be bc ik it’s offered in the fall) and take my final. i’m nervous af but i’m gonna do my best to kick ass.