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reesiereads · 3 years ago

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So. That pjo au??? I used to be obsessed with the series and would love to hear your takes on the au!! No pressure to respond :)

Ooo! I'd love to talk about it thank you for asking!

I already know this is gonna get long so read more:

Okay, so I've figured out parentage for just about everyone. However I mostly only have backstories and shit for SBI/Bench Trio/Las Navedas Crew so this will mostly be focused on them.

We'll go about this time line wise:

So Camp Half Blood is ran by Philza who's essentially in Chiron's place. I've set him as a centaur for the moment but honestly I might just make him a harpy or some other bird hybrid because having him be anything but a bird feels too weird. The 'Dionysis' in this scenario is gonna be Kristin who's a Goddess still, she's Hades and Persephone's second kid. She isn't always around but she's around enough that the campers are used to her. She can revive or kill anything living (which becomes very important later on).

I also should preemptively mention I've taken some liberties. For instance the 'three on a quest' thing doesn't exist and Satyr's aren't demigod protectors.

So my current 'timeline' starts with Techno showing up to the camp because he's the oldest of the current campers (19). When he shows up to camp though he's a literal baby, think Jason Grace kinda shit. Parent just said 'I aint dealing with this' and dropped him at the camp so Phil and Kristin raised him. It's a big reason why he's so strong now. Techno is a kid of Nemesis (if you want to know why I chose her or any of the other parents send me another ask cuz this is already gonna be hella long) and he doesn't really have any powers other then getting a mild strength boost when he's trying to get revenge.

Dream (Athena), George (Hypnos), Sapnap (Ares), Karl (Iris thought I might change it to Hecate) and Quackity (Tyche) all show up next. Don't have much to say about that. None of them rlly have backstories yet (though I do have their powers and shit done if you wanna ask me about those).

Punz, Purpled and Hannah show up next. Punz and Purpled are the only two I have at the current moment that are biological siblings. They're both kids of Nike about three years apart. Hannah is just a friend that's close enough to essentially be their sister (child of Demeter, obviously).

Now this next part is a little iffy but basically Techno is sent by Phil to go off and find Jack, cuz Jack Manifold is the only alive kid of one of the big three (child of Hades). This gets messy though because he ends up finding Niki (Nemesis), Wilbur (Apollo), Sally (Posidon), Fundy (Hermes), Tommy (Demeter), and Tubbo (Haephestus) on the same trip and has to somehow get them all back in one piece.

Spoiler alert: He doesn't manage it. Sally dies and Wilbur leaves pretty soon after they get back to camp because... well, man's is grieving and I need to show his death arc somehow without killing him (because I can't use the Kristin powers twice that's lame and I need them later).

Schaltt shows up after Wilbur leaves. He's a kid of Dionysis and long story short an ass, cuz this is modeled after dsmp right? I don't have it fully fleshed out but I know he gets together with Q for a bit and that relationship isn't super great and that he takes Tubbo and Fundy under his wing for a bit (which again, doesn't end super well). He dies in some super pathetic way at some point idk, who cares.

The fiancees also get together for a bit but end up breaking off for some reason I haven't decided yet. This only gets a mention because frankly I haven't fleshed it out and I'm not very focused on it.

Now we get to the fun parts.

Ranboo is a child of Aphrodite who shows up and gets taken under Techno's wing. Gets some training, makes friends with Tubbo and Tommy dunno poggers shit. He's a bit outcasted cuz he's... well, not a typical Aphrodite kid and also cuz man's still has his memory issues (not sure why he has them yet, might be trauma might be something else idk not super important as of now).

Ranboo, Tubbo and Tommy go on a quest where they find Michael (Demeter) and Shroud (Athena). Ranboo and Tubbo get together for jokes at first until it isn't, you know Pog shit.

The Las Navedas crew (Quackity, Purpled, Fundy, Sam (Athena), Foolish (Apollo though might change to Hecate)) go on a quest for some reason or other. Dunno specifics but it's led up to cuz Fundy starts getting those prophetic skin demigod dreams and has to have George walk in his dreams to figure shit out cuz you know, Fundy's like 12 in this au and has no idea wtf is going on. But anyway they find Charlie (Athena) along the way so that's fun.

Wilbur comes back to camp which is shocking cuz everyone just kinda... assumed he was dead. Think of that scene in the fourth pjo book or whatever when Percy shows up from Ogigia and everyone is like "WE THOUGHT YOU WERE FUCKING DEAD" its like that.

Then to mirror the burger van arc Wilbur, Quackity, Ranboo, Tubbo and Tommy are sent on a quest which I have actually planned out! For the most part anyway... I've planned Ranboo's arc, whatever same/dif.

Basically Ranboo is helping Wilbur and Quackity stop being idiots and get together, while in the process giving them shit therapy a la "I don't think your a bad person." It's fun. They meet his mom who's like "focus and love urself Jesus Christ," they meet Q's mom who tries to kill them in Las Vegas, Wilbur and Q get together finally, Ranboo dies to protect Tubbo it's a fun time. And Tommy is there because I want someone to call these dumbasses on their bullshit.

Anyway, so yeah, Ranboo's dead. Sam isn't an idiot here though (and Dream isn't evil) so we get revengers except Michael's find so they're just going to find Kristin in the underworld (cuz ofc she's gone when they need her) with Tommy and Wilbur to revive Ranboo. Tommy comes so I can do the fun "ig I like Ranboo or whatever" thing and Wilbur is there because I want him to be angsty about Sally. That's it, I just like torturing him, don't judge me.

Anyways this is just a gross generalization of everything and it's still like thirty paragraphs so... pls fkin send me more asks I want to talk about this more. Atm I want to write like just one shots for it that aren't in any particular order? Like I really want to do one for Techno and Ranboo going into their histories and parallels and shit. So... ye <3

#reesie rambles #dsmp #dsmp pjo au #cuz i want to talk about it more so it gets a tag #also if this doesnt make sense srry rfnogoreu #im basically just rambling #im planning on making playlists for each of the characters tho #so thats fun #i didnt rlly get into their backstories much #but they do exist!#if anyone wants to ask about those...

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betelgeuse-1988 · 3 years ago

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Feel free to ignore but I'd love to see a fic where adam has a photoshoot session with his girlfriend topless 👉👈

hello sweet anon!! :) i took a little liberty with the prompt, if that's okay. i had a similar idea a couple months ago and the basic skeleton of a fic so i developed it a bit more, changed it up, etc. i really hope you like it and it was at least similar to what you were looking for! this is basically just vanilla but if you squint i suppose dom!Adam? and a female reader since that was the request :)

click here to read on ao3 or read below the cut! <3

Adam loved photography. Next to caring for animals, photography was his biggest career interest and the thing that kept him alive, before and after his time in the bathroom. Not only has it helped with saving to go back to college, but it’s been the healthiest way for him to cope (though, you couldn’t deny seeing Adam smoke was attractive). With this being, essentially, the most important part of Adam’s life (he would say it’s you), you couldn’t help but get curious.

So, on the next good day Adam seemed to be having, you decided to ask him if he could show you the process. He was a little suspicious at first, immediately questioning why you wanted to know about photography. “I dunno,” you said after taking a bite of your dinner, “I just wanna see what my boyfriend is so passionate about.”

Adam nodded. You knew he was only suspicious because he really cared about his work. “Well, maybe I could have you develop some fun photos with me,” he said with a smirk.

You raised an eyebrow. “Fun?”

“Yeah, like maybe...we take some pictures in the bedroom?”

A smile grew on your face as you nodded. “Hmmm...what would we be doing in these photos? Sleeping?” You knew saying that would provoke a detailed, snarky comment from Adam and you reveled in the moment of silence as Adam leaned closer to you. His simple movement instinctively drew you in closer, too, so that you were almost nose-to-nose.

Adam ran his hand over yours and looked you in the eye. His voice dropped, low and quiet, “Maybe, but I think I would much prefer taking pictures of you cumming on my cock. Or, my cum all over your face or dripping down your thighs. Maybe even your pretty mouth wrapped around my cock.” He leaned in and gave you a peck on the lips before quickly pulling away. “But, it could just be pictures of you sleeping.”

God what a tease, you thought, sitting back in your seat. “Ah. Those all sound like fun options.” You grabbed his plate and yours, tossing them into the sink for later. Adam watched you closely, a dopey smile on his face. You walked back to where he was sitting and draped an arm around his shoulders. “So, how about we get started?”

Adam turned slightly to kiss you, moving his hand to cup your cheek. You moved your hand from his shoulder to tangle in his hair instead. You tugged on his short hair, to which Adam hummed pleasantly in response. Adam pulled away slightly, a smile still bright on his face, “Okay, okay. Let me go get my camera while you undress for me in the bedroom.” He gives you one last kiss before completely pulling away to grab his camera from the darkroom. You watch him walk away in admiration, rubbing your flushed cheeks. “Go to the bedroom!” He shouts, not even looking back, causing you to chuckle and walk to the bedroom.

While waiting for Adam, you stripped down to your underwear and hopped onto the bed. Adam came in a few minutes later, his camera in his hands. Standing in the doorway, he snapped the first shot of you sitting against the pillows. You smiled widely as he held up the camera. “You look cute,” he said. You blushed at the comment (and bit your tongue to prevent you from denying it). Adam then placed the camera on the edge of the bed and began taking off his shirt. You immediately snatched the camera and took a photo once his shirt was off.

You noticed, however, that he instinctively tried to cover the scar on his shoulder. He was starting to blush under your gaze, mumbling out an apology. “There’s nothing to be sorry about, Adam. You’re so pretty, and I wanna capture that.”

He smiled slightly and joined you on the bed, taking the camera out of your hands gently. Adam held the camera in one hand and held your cheek with the other. Kissing you gently, he moved you so that you were underneath him completely and shifted himself down to position himself between your legs. Adam then pulled down your panties and threw them on the side of the bed. Thrusting two fingers into your pussy, he took another picture. “You look so cute, surprised like that.” Putting the camera down, he focused on you. He leaned down to lick your clit as he fingered you. Thrusting in and out at a slow pace, he would curl his fingers slowly in order to hit your g-spot. He would occasionally move down to shove his tongue inside of you, along with his fingers. He pulled off of you as he added a third finger. “Think you can cum for me baby? Wanna see some pictures of you blissed out after cumming on my fingers. Can you do that for me?” Nodding, you moaned out his name. He latched back onto your clit and began fingering you faster. The feelings built and you became so overwhelmed that you shoved your hand into Adam’s hair. You attempted to keep his mouth as close as possible, latched onto your clit. In response to (accidentally) tugging roughly on his hair, he moaned softly on your clit, adding to the overwhelming build up of your orgasm. Your walls clenched down on his fingers as you came, closing your eyes and throwing your head back. Spasming against your boyfriend’s mouth, you tried to keep Adam as close as possible. After riding through your orgasm and letting go of Adam, you heard the snap of a camera as your chest rose and fell.

You opened your eyes to see Adam staring at you through the camera. “Can you take off your bra for me? You can stay laying down if you want.” Nodding, you sat up slightly and took off your bra. Laying back down, you could tell that your skin was slightly flushed, which was only increasing as you realized Adam was still looking at you. You kept your knees bent and threw an arm over your face as the embarrassment overcame you, to which your boyfriend snapped another photo before setting the camera down again. “Aw, sweetie, you look so cute. Trust me, these pictures will turn out great.” Adam looked at you and pulled at your arm to look you in the eyes.

“Sorry, that was just a little...overwhelming I guess.” Adam nodded in response and stroked your arm.

“We can stop, don’t worry about it, baby. I think we got more than enough shots to show you how this works.” “No! I mean, I just don’t want you to fuck me. Just wanna suck your cock,” you said, moving to pull down his boxers.

“Are you sure? You don’t have to, (Y/N).”

“Mhm, now kneel. I want some pictures for you of cum all over my face.” Adam chuckled at that, but complied. You pushed the waistband of his boxers down far enough to pull his cock out. You immediately began sucking on the head of his cock as he moaned lightly. His higher-pitched voice strangled out groans as you began to take his dick as deep as possible. Gagging lightly on it, Adam threw his head back. With one hand, you cupped his balls, and with the other you took the camera from his hands. Pulling off of him completely, you snapped a picture of him. Adam’s head was still thrown back in pleasure, but his eyes were open to snap down and look at where you disappeared to. You could tell the photo would turn out to be slightly blurred, as he began whipping his head down as you took the photo. Once he saw you were just taking a picture, he smiled at you. He leaned down to kiss your head before you put the camera down and placed your mouth on his cock again.

Adam strangled out your name as you deep-throated him again. He instinctively placed his hand on your head and began to lightly guide it up and down his shaft. “Keep going...so good, baby.” His grip on your hair tightened as you reached around to grab his ass. Circling a finger around his hole and slowly pushing it in, Adam thrusts deep into your mouth with a groan. “D-don’t...too much.” As he continued to thrust down your throat, the grip on your hair got tighter. You moved your hand to rest on his hip as he finished himself off. As he started to cum down your throat, he pulled out and finished on your face. His cum fell mostly around your mouth, some shooting up onto the bridge of your nose and some down onto your collarbone.

Shifting back so you’re sitting on your knees, you grab the camera with the arm you’d been leaning on and take a picture of yourself. You take yet another while licking some of the cum off your face. Adam watched you, smiling, knowing the two of you were blissed out of your mind. Once you were done, he leaned over to the bed stand and grabbed tissues for you, wiping the cum off your face and chest. He threw away the tissues and sat back against the headboard. He lit a cigarette and began smoking as you went to grab a shirt off the floor. You had taken the camera with you, intending to set it on the dresser. But, when you turned back and saw Adam smoking casually, an arm thrown behind his head, you snapped one more photo. Adam looked lost in happiness, eyes closed and smoke flowing from his mouth. The white cigarette balanced between his fingers, held tightly as he flicked excess ash into an ashtray on the bedside table. He turned towards you after hearing the shutter of the camera and posed a little, urging you to take the last picture of the night. He put the cigarette down and placed his hands under his chin, cupping his face. Giving you a dopey smile, you took the photo. “See, you’re cuter than me, Adam.” You finally set down the camera and grabbed your shirt off the floor to sleep in. Sliding back into bed, you wrapped around Adam and watched him smoke his cigarette. Adam looked so content and happy, smoking his cigarette with his arm wrapped around you. “I’m really glad I got a photo of you,” you said, sleepily, “you really are so beautiful.”

Adam stubbed out his cigarette, moving to lay down and hold you closer. “Thanks...I wouldn’t say that about myself, but I’m glad you think so.” He kissed you lightly, “But, I’m glad we took pictures, too. You looked so beautiful in all of them.” He looked down at you and saw you were already asleep. He shifted a little, trying to get as comfortable as possible, despite sleep already dragging his eyes closed. “Love you, (Y/N),” was the last thing Adam said before letting sleep overcome him.

Adam had developed the photos the next day, with you sitting on a table in the dark room. You watched him meticulously develop the film, choosing the right chemicals to put into what. You found it all very fascinating, even if Adam saw it as just work some days. You came back later in the day to help him make the prints, soaking them and hanging them to dry. They began to develop right before your eyes. Your focus kept falling on the one of Adam smoking a cigarette after everything that happened the night before. Pointing at that one, as Adam hung up the last photo, you turned to him, “I want that one. Think I’ll frame it and put it on my desk at work. If that’s okay.”

Adam paused for a moment. He had never really had anyone take his picture since childhood and even then they never took his picture to work or anything like that. Adam’s chest swelled with the feeling of love that he hadn’t felt in a long time. “Yeah, of course. I can make more prints, too.” He looked back at the photos hung up, many of them only looking completely developed but were still wet, dripping onto the table below. “This was a lot of fun, (Y/N). I love you.”

He pulled you in for a quick kiss and you responded once he pulled away, “I love you too, Adam.” Most of these pictures were ones you’d keep secret, but you’d definitely cherish them forever.

#adam faulkner stanheight x reader #adam faulkner x reader #adam stanheight x reader #request #ask

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ofcowardiceandkings · 3 years ago

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I've seen you reference story implications in the sequel to BOTW a few times but I can't find an explanation and I'm still not sure what you mean 😖

not to worry being a vague mess is one of my fortés lol

im gonna get mad english-class serious a second because i need it to explain my shit hold on to yer horses lads this is gonna get long and over the top im SO SORRY in advance ..........

what i generally mean is if we take every interaction in BotW as if it had actually happened, not in the details minutiae sense like if you felt like Link would be nice to Bozai or want to spin kick him in the head way, but if Nintendo included an interaction or lore then it happened at some point or was learned way (the correct answer is spin kick though), then Link would know a LOT of very personal thoughts and feelings from a LOT of people.

to be fair, most of said people have passed away by this point in the story BUT more to the point Zelda is still very much alive and is also in some kind of tenuous contact with Link throughout the course of the game via Spooky Voice On The Winds just for good measure

regardless of what opinion you come away with of Link's own emotions - original Japanese text adventure log and player point-of-contact poker-face not withstanding - it is 100% canonical that Zelda had a thing for Link before the Calamity after they got to actually interacting and understanding each other. even if you wanna side-eye the construction of the story told by "Captured Memories" to be at LEAST a little romantically orientated (which in my opinion is a dubious stance to take given how typical storytelling structure works), what Kass has to say about the whole thing is explicitly textual, if only through secondhand information (although i will say a court poet seems like a sound bet in terms of reading people and especially if the person youre reading is a teenager with no concept of not wearing her heart on her sleeve and Small Emotions). trying to ignore ALL of that and - to be honest - what the latest batch of writing team has been doing since Skyward Sword isnt so much "reading the subtext/story wrong" as it is willfully ignoring it lol

not that im saying thats a bad thing, i also ignore chunks or details of stories i dislike because "fuck that im having fun" but i can also acknowledge that whatever im ignoring did in fact happen even if i think its stupid ... anyway

and the only reason i think this is a train of thought less-travelled is purely due to how HUGE BotW is, theres a LOT of stuff .. like i hang out with friends mostly playing BotW on twitch every day and we all learn things constantly. if you dont go hard for the lore and story you miss it, thats the nature of storytelling in the way BotW went about it

like i said, it's kind of dependent on what content is to be taken as having ACTUALLY happened. the only thing that isnt up for debate is that he regained all of the main-game memories since that's how you get the "true"/full ending. but did Link really read those diaries, did he really have that chat with Kass in Rito Village, is The Champion's Ballad lore going to be carried over,, that sort of thing. in my opinion? yes, because more solidly Nintendo included it for a reason no matter of what percentage of players found it, but in an off-shoot opinion if i was trying to regain my lost memories i'd give ANYTHING a chance of getting them back even if it meant the awkwardness of reading my long-gone friends diaries 🤷‍♂️

basically, what i mean when i have a meltdown over "the plot implications of BotW on BotW2" is im extremely curious to see how Nintendo handle 1) Zelda's established feelings towards Link (assuming they still exist, which i think we have reason to believe they do) and 2) Link quite possibly KNOWING about it. oh and them not existing in an extremely rigid class-driven society anymore.

i dunno about you - or the writing team for that matter - but if i was made aware that a pretty and smart person who i used to be around a lot had a thing for me i would be going out of my MIND lmfao

while their dynamic in past games has been quite developed or had romantic overtones before, BotW is by FAR the most complex understanding of them with the most information given to the player about how their characters grow from more than one angle. like having known each other for some time, general depictions of them existing around each other, visible emoting around the others' circumstances .. these things have happened before but not in such a huge combination. oh AND an abject change in their relationship after having come to some kind of understanding, which is definitely new, let alone that understanding happening OFF SCREEN.

i'll stop now before i actually write a full essay, but lets just say this is even more uncharted territory than Skyward Sword's obvious love story and the "oh and then he was king of hyrule :)" at the end of the original, because like ... its a sequel ... after the fact ..... unresolved

........ yeah

#IM SO SORRY IVE OUTDONE MYSELF IM SO RABID ........................#lol remember when i wrote a couple of sherlock metas ? good times ... im never gonna unlearn understanding fiction now its here #lets just say there are a LOT of ways this could go and i hope Nintendo doesnt chicken out if theyre implying what theyve been implying #there are a LOT of ways this could go ... and im not sure what i'd prefer ?? i just dont want them to sweep it under the rug #because THAT would be annoying and kind of rude to the people who DID find all the story they could :/ lol #i was already a hardcore LoZ fan but then BotW came and slapped me in the face with a chainmail gauntlet and challenged me to Step Up #i could actually 100% do a full essay on this im more than equipped but im not that bad yet #no ones pissed me off that badly .. YET .. i have seen some astoundingly bad takes out there though yeesh #anyway i'll go to bed now SORRY AGAIN [blows kiss]#rory's ramblings #asks #anon #long post #zelink #zelda blogging #botw/totk blogging

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ambivalent-anarchy · 4 years ago

Text

Body

Part 1 of 2

Part 2

Masterlist

Gender: Female

Pairing: Peter Parker x reader

Warning: None

Anon requested- can I get a one shot where the reader does the body positivity trend with the new megan thee stallion song and the reader is insecure about how ppl will react to it?? Most importantly how peter will react to it?? K thanks

Awww I love doing smol readers and where Peter's actually the one that has it together lol sooo thanx for this

The TikTok is that new body positivity trend with that Megan Thee Stallion song. Couldn't link it because tumblr acts weird about links but part 2 will have a video for Peter. Also reader will be 18 (senior in high school) cuz some people think minors shouldn't participate in the trend lol

A/N: Either a motivation fairy hit me in the middle of the night or I'm really just that bored to the point where I had no choice but to get my motivation to write back. Either way I'm happy lol. Enjoy! Thanks to @yumings and @kelieah for helping me feel confident in this lol

Will definitely be a two parter🙂

---------------------------------------

Body oddy oddy oddy oddy oddy oddy oddy-

You'd finally finished editing the video.

It was a simple, short collage of all of your favorite selfies and pictures that showed off your body well. There was a new trend going around on TikTok and when you saw it you just had to jump at it headfirst.

People would take their favorite pictures of themselves, ones that showed off their bodies just the way they liked, and they'd put it to the sound of Megan Thee Stallion's song "Body".

You looked through your entire phone gallery to find pictures that you were confident enough to post, some you'd forgotten you even took in the first place.

When you were done, you threw in the simple caption that everyone was using.

Heard we're using this sound to show off. My turn then😜

Yeahhhhhh, the caption sounded much more confident than you actually felt.

You actually thought about deleting it from the minute you posted it. Insecure wasn't even the word for it. And even with your followers there to hype you up, you couldn't help but feel self-conscious. So, albeit hesitantly, you went to your friends for support.

The first person you showed was Michelle.

"You killed that," she said in math class as she passed you the phone underneath the table so that the professor wouldn't see.

"Thanks," you said. "I was honestly kinda nervous about it." You noticed her incredulous look and explained yourself, toying with the loose strings on your jacket. "Like seriously, I don't wanna fish for compliments, it's just that there are so many better ones out there."

Michelle gave a lopsided grin. "That's just you being insecure, you dork," she retorted. "You look hot." She gave an uninterested glare at the teacher when they told her to be quiet. Then she turned towards you with a smile. "You shown Peter yet? I bet he'd agree."

You shifted in your seat nervously and MJ immediately caught on. "What, you don't wanna show him?" She gave you a look when you took a while to answer. "Dude he's literally your boyfriend. I'm pretty sure he'll like it."

"MJ, we haven't even-" you looked around secretively. "-we haven't even taken our shirts off in front of each other yet. There's literally a pic of me in my sports bra and I.." You shrugged, a little embarrassed by the conversation topic. "I-i just don't know how he'd react."

You and Peter were a fairly new couple and were taking it slow. You'd only ever kissed, cuddled, and held hands so far. Plus, you were a major causal clothes wearer. Sweatshirts and jeans, those were your specialty. The two of you were in no rush and you were both fine with that, but you had no idea how he would react to seeing pictures of you like that.

And, though it wasn't the most feminist approach, you kinda wanted to impress him. Was that so bad?

MJ, forever the voice of patronizing reason, rolled her eyes at you. "So, let me get this straight. You're not fine with your boyfriend seeing sexy pictures of you, but you're okay with literal strangers seeing you instead?"

"Look, I know it's-"

"No, no I totally get it," she said with a sympathetic smirk, before laughing. "I just wanted to show you how dumb it sounded though."

The bell rang, signaling the end of class.

"Look," she said, standing up and getting her things. "You have nothing to be worried about. Peter practically worships the ground you walk on. He'll love it."

When you showed Ned, he genuinely didn't give a shit.

"Oh my God, there's a new Megan Thee Stallion album?!"

"Uh, yeah."

"I have to listen to it right now!"

"Yeah okay, but do you like the-"

He was already plugging in his headphones before you even finished your sentence.

You showed Harry next. If anyone was gonna rate you unabashedly, it'd definitely be him.

He was the only friend you had in your lunch period, so you met up with him every day. Towards the end of lunch that day, you'll pulled out your phone and asked if he wanted to see the video. He enthusiastically agreed.

He watched the short video with an amused expression, bopping his head to the music all the while.

When it ended, he handed you your phone back and gave you a high-five. "Damn girl!," he praised. "Just throwing it out there, if Peter fails you, I'm hella available."

"Heh, thanks." You smiled as you felt your entire face heat up. "Ya think he'll like it?"

"What, you haven't shown him yet?" You shook her head, giving a nervous smile. "Oh-" he nodded confidently. "-he'll love it. Trust me."

"Are you sure?," you asked.

"Yeah," he responded with a shrug. "Why are you so worried?"

"Because he's not-..he doesn't really seem-" You couldn't find the right words for it. "I dunno, I just really want him to like it!"

Harry scoffed. "Look. Let me tell you a little secret about Peter Parker," he snickered. "Or practically all guys for that matter."

"Okay?," you said, curious as to where this was going.

He smirked. "You remember when he introduced himself to you at my party last summer?"

You nodded.

"Well, hon..." Harry lowered his head to where he was whispering in your ear. "Your personality wasn't what he was noticing from across the room.. catch my drift?" He chuckled when he saw you blushing as you caught where his eyes had wandered. "Just sayin'."

Seeing your incredulous expression, Harry continued. "Peter likes to act like he's not checking you out every second of the day, but I promise you he is. That little "I'm so respectful and bashful" crap he has going is complete B.S."

You smirked and rolled your eyes as he pulled away from your ear and kept walking. "You're an ass."

Harry shrugged. "True, but I'm a realistic ass." The alarm on his phone sounded which marked his time to start heading to his next class. Standing up, he smiled down at you. "Seriously, if I could take back all the time spent listening to Pete go on about how good you look in your jeans, I'd be one well rested guy."

You rolled your eyes, but it betrayed the small smile growing. After all, he wouldn't be Harry if he wasn't a flirtatious dweeb. "Bye Harry."

"Show him the video, [Y/N]. He'll love it. You know I'm right."

And then there was one...

Later in the day, you were talking with MJ after school, waiting because Peter always insisted on driving you home because chivalry was not going to die as long as he was alive to keep it going.

When he finally showed up, the first thing he did was take you by the hand and give you a quick peck on the forehead.

"How are you guys doing?," he asked as your little trio started to walk.

"We're good," you chirped, ever so conscious of the phone in your pocket that you were suddenly very hesitant to pull out.

MJ noticed and nudged you. "You got anything you wanna show anybody, [Y/N]?," she asked with a smirk, causing Peter to look at you curiously.

You stayed quiet, but MJ still wasn't putting up with it. "I think you may have a video that you made..."

You remained silent and Peter looked at you, a lot more confused now. MJ frowned. "Um... cough.. cough."

Peter laughed and stopped walking. "Okay, what am I missing?" He looked to you and when he didn't see your expression falter, he looked to MJ. "What's going on?"

Michelle shrugged. "[Y/N] wants to show you a dumb TikTok she made but she's scared about how you'll react."

"Michelle!," you scolded.

She shrugged again. "What? You weren't going to say anything anytime soon."

"A TikTok?," Peter questioned. "Cool, which one did you do this time?"

You could feel your face heat up for the hundredth time that day. "It's a...um.." You stared down at the ground. Jesus, this was hard. "..It's a body positivity trend."

His eyebrows went up at that. "Oh, well um.. is it cool if I see it?," he asked.

You blushed. "Sure." You pulled out your phone and opened the app. When you got to the video you quickly shoved it into his face before you had a chance to second-guess yourself.

Both you and Michelle watched Peter's face as he watched the video.

His cheeks immediately turned red but his expression was unreadable. He had to have watched it over 5 times before MJ pulled the phone out of his hand. "Helloooo, earth to Peter Parker?"

She snapped into his face several times and he started to blink wildly, apparently being pulled out of a trance. "I...um- heh.."

You gave a small, nervous smile. "..did you like it?," you asked, growing confused as stared at you, his expression still the same. "Um, Peter?"

Suddenly, he smiled and let out a little chuckle. "Sorry... just..." He laughed again and scratched his head, unable to keep eye contact. "You're just- like.... really hot."

You blushed. Fuck. "You're not just saying that are you?"

"No, really like-" He looked back at the phone. "...Damn." He bit his lip. "How on earth did I get so lucky?"

"Okay, can we please get in the car before I throw up?"

The two of you looked at an uncomfortable MJ with embarrassment riddled on your faces. "Yeah, totally," you said with an awkward cough. "Sorry."

"Nice video [Y/N]," Peter murmured bashfully, opening the door of his car for you, his face still beet red. "Really nice..."

Tagging: @allegra-writes, @allegra-soleil l, @yumings, @hey-its-grey, @spideyyeet, @sunkissedspidey, @tommyunderoos, @chaoticpete, @snarky--starky, @sovereignparker, @thesherlockianavenger, @bubblebucky, @eridanuswave, @ithoughtthiswastwitterbutfr , @kidney9-9, @gwenvrse

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punkscowardschampions · 5 years ago

Text

Joe & Ronnie

Joe: what are you actually doing Ronnie: having an orgy Ronnie: ain't you gutted you didn't stay Joe: was before Joe: however appealing or un that is Ronnie: cry to some other cunt Ronnie: I told you not to go Joe: I ain't interested in no other cunt, that's what I just said Joe: I had to, didn't I Ronnie: don't be a pussy Ronnie: you ain't gotta be a mummy's boy all your life Joe: it's christmas Joe: that's what has to be done Ronnie: and what? family's for life Ronnie: tell that to your ma Joe: you should've come Joe: it's a mess, you'd have had fun Ronnie: I don't do babies Ronnie: and I weren't invited Joe: me either Joe: and you are Joe: come now Ronnie: whoever the fuck your ma wants me to be ain't who I am Ronnie: try telling her the truth and see if I'm still given a seat Joe: you don't need to be anyone for her Ronnie: swallow your own bullshit sayings first Joe: alright so it's stupid Joe: but I need you here Ronnie: you can't have me there Joe: for fuck sake Ronnie: you want me or you wanna be her golden boy Joe: you know exactly which I want Ronnie: you think you know but one look at my tracks and fun's over baby Joe: I can have you and drugs Joe: that ain't mutually exclusive Joe: never has been Ronnie: you can't have fuck all around your family Ronnie: a uni degree and a 9-5 is your lot babe Joe: they'd not even notice Joe: baby central, yeah Ronnie: they'd notice me Joe: we could find out Ronnie: don't Joe: alright Joe: fine Ronnie: it's not all about you Ronnie: selfish prick Joe: I know you don't wanna be here Ronnie: then don't fucking ask me Joe: I know what I am Ronnie: you know who I am Ronnie: you're wasting your own time Joe: yeah Joe: and you know I don't care Ronnie: that's why you're there pissing away the day, yeah? Joe: what do you suggest? Joe: taken every pharmaceutical I could get into the country Ronnie: leave the country Ronnie: grow a fucking pair mckenna Joe: on xmas day yeah Joe: called a fantasy play the game Ronnie: you want me to show up Ronnie: why the fuck can't you? Joe: selfish prick Ronnie: I don't pretend to be anything else Joe: no, me Ronnie: it comes out of your mouth so easy for me Ronnie: just tell 'em Joe: tell 'em what Joe: I don't wanna see you no more Joe: bye Ronnie: any of the ugly truth will make her not wanna see you no more Ronnie: it don't take much Ronnie: pushed me out of her and right away, like Joe: that wasn't about you, was it Joe: selfish runs in the genes Ronnie: not deep enough when it comes to you Ronnie: you're fucking soft mckenna Ronnie: that your da's fault, yeah? Joe: yeah, you should be the favourite, we both know it but ain't gonna wish it on you Ronnie: nah she should've swallowed or got scraped Ronnie: did the next best though Joe: you want me to say lucky you so you can hate me for being privileged and ignorant Joe: I'll do it for you Ronnie: such a people pleaser Joe: you know it Ronnie: call me when you're ready to shatter your wine glass and put the pieces in your mouth Joe: you dare me? Ronnie: I'm not playing games here Joe: come on Joe: get your paper hat on Ronnie: you want me to get on some old bloke's knee too or is that where the fantasy ends? Joe: not got any grandparents Joe: sorry Ronnie: shame Joe: isn't it just Ronnie: but we don't have to let it die 'cause you're a letdown Ronnie: I know loads of old men Ronnie: some of 'em have gotta still be alive Joe: 🤞 the holiday blues haven't claimed them Ronnie: yeah 'cause you wanna be special Joe: but I am Joe: if I cared about it I'd say no old cunts Ronnie: I'll lick your brains off the wall when you pull the trigger baby, how's that? Joe: Better than Courtney, babe Ronnie: the bar ain't high then Joe: she might've pulled the trigger Joe: don't you want that? Ronnie: you know what I want Joe: you know what I can't give you today Ronnie: yeah and I know that's your fucking fault Joe: didn't ask for jesus to be born Joe: or for me to into this family Ronnie: stop having a tantrum and come back Joe: tomorrow Ronnie: today Joe: didn't drive Joe: what flight am i getting on christmas Ronnie: fuck's sake Joe: I can't hack it Ronnie: drop a baby they'll kick you out faster than you can say merry christmas Ronnie: especially if it's one of your brother's Ronnie: gonna have limited brain cells as it is Joe: 😂 Joe: that would require picking one up and nah Joe: nope Ronnie: you've touched worse Joe: I don't know Joe: it's weird Joe: fucked Ronnie: they're just little bags of meat and bone Ronnie: get a fucking grip Joe: says you Joe: you ain't here Ronnie: for me it ain't about nothing but resisting the urge to shake 'em and how I don't reckon I've got that in me Ronnie: one of many negative impulses I fight or don't on the daily like Joe: like you said, be a kindness really Joe: they're all just pretending it's a good thing when it clearly ain't Joe: not got the energy Ronnie: jail ain't gonna be that for me Ronnie: and like I also said you ain't the only selfish prick that bitch spawned Ronnie: they don't know a good thing they ain't tried it Ronnie: shoot 'em up it'll be a decent christmas for everyone Joe: you've not got room for the gang tats Joe: I get it Joe: oddly enough I've not got 💉 on my prescription Ronnie: baby I'm nobody's bitch but 💉 Ronnie: and we're exclusive 💍 Joe: you wish Joe: making do every other time Ronnie: don't fucking remind me Joe: miss those student loans Ronnie: I'm gonna miss being a christmas temp Joe: not just for the lap sitting priviledges Joe: yeah Ronnie: knew you were into it Joe: just miss you Ronnie: don't say shit like that Joe: whatever Ronnie: I mean it, it hurts Joe: I'm sorry Joe: if I could go back and not find you Joe: I know I should Joe: I wouldn't but established Ronnie: fuck you Joe: yeah Joe: I know Ronnie: nah you fucking don't Joe: you reckon Ronnie: I said it Ronnie: you're the cunt saying shit you don't mean Joe: no I'm not Joe: just 'cos you don't need to hear it don't mean it ain't real Joe: it is, that's the issue yeah Ronnie: tell it to your ma Ronnie: well full of it Joe: why would I Joe: not trying to convince you of anything here Joe: it is what it is Joe: however fucked Ronnie: 🖕 Joe: yeah love you and all Ronnie: if you did you wouldn't have left Joe: ever Ronnie: shut up Ronnie: you're not funny mckenna none of you lot are Joe: who's trying to be funny Joe: what do you want from me Ronnie: you're a fucking joke either way babe Joe: make up your mind Joe: glad I amuse you now, apparently Joe: one of us should be having a good time Ronnie: laugh or cry, yeah? Joe: goes something like that Joe: could go full newborn and do a puke shit cry combo Joe: why not Ronnie: if you're rattling hard enough, anything's possible Joe: getting by Joe: making do is never the same as previously lamented but not gonna start convulsing in my plate Ronnie: shame Joe: 💘 Joe: dunno how you reckon on me ruining christmas Joe: sister just became a teen mum Ronnie: it's an od or a run out take your pick baby Ronnie: both have worked for me Ronnie: you say that like its not a badge of honor who wouldnt wanna follow in your ma's footsteps, like Ronnie: if she starts dealing too give her my number Joe: ha, I forgot to tell you Joe: there's one here already Ronnie: if you wanted me there you should have led with that Joe: I know right Joe: no one tells me anything Joe: you'd like him Joe: purely 'cos she hates him Ronnie: you don't tell me anything Ronnie: too late to ruin christmas now Joe: I know you'd be here if you wanted that more than you don't wanna be here Joe: but don't worry, atmosphere is awkward enough regardless Ronnie: could still show up for your brother's big birthday Ronnie: freckles is a no go but he's old enough now to be on the table Ronnie: work my way through by new years, yeah? Joe: hilarious, babe Ronnie: not joking babe Ronnie: fucking the dealer won't make enough of a splash Joe: you do know they know you're related, yeah Joe: even if he weren't gay Ronnie: didn't stop you Ronnie: and being a massive homo ain't ever stopped Charlie Joe: we all do trauma different don't we Ronnie: if you want some therapy for christmas we can roleplay that shit Joe: why would i settle for that when i've got drugs and you Ronnie: saying that ain't gonna make me not hate you Joe: good Joe: hate me Joe: don't be an idiot like everyone else Ronnie: baby brain ain't gonna be a thing over here Ronnie: 💔 Joe: my deepest sympathies Joe: can't say I'm sharing in your 💔 though Ronnie: when have I ever used an emoji meaningfully Ronnie: not a fucking kid Joe: damn Joe: I really thought you meant those 😍 Joe: 💔 Ronnie: fuck off Joe: 😂 Joe: you're cute Ronnie: count how many glasses you've had Joe: is that an OCD joke Joe: you're on 🔥 today girl Ronnie: you wish no lighters at the table baby Joe: Charlie really sticking to those rules hard Joe: how are you gonna light the pudding? Ronnie: afters ain't like that round here Ronnie: 💉💊🚬 Joe: it's minging Ronnie: you love it then, all the pain, like Joe: don't reckon we've actually got one either Joe: how passive-aggressive of them Ronnie: ma keeps bringing the disappointments, yeah? Ronnie: reckon your brother's golden boy now he's sprogged up Joe: I wish Joe: marginally less of a disgrace than Ali Joe: but still Ronnie: your sister is gifting those flashbacks for christmas Joe: Truly Joe: poor kid Ronnie: she should've picked a white lad Ronnie: calm your ma right down Joe: maybe next time Joe: 2nd time's a charm, eh Ronnie: yeah Joe: have you ever been knocked up Ronnie: could probably have got a freebie down the clinic how often I've been down to get rid Ronnie: none of 'em were yours though you can relax Joe: god bless the nhs Ronnie: you ever knocked anyone up? Joe: not to abortion stage Joe: just had to get plan b Joe: as far as I know, anyway Ronnie: cute Joe: thanks 💕 Joe: ours wouldn't be so thank fuck Ronnie: that kinda shit passes for a date for us scousers 💋 Ronnie: you don't want a kid with gills or two heads? Joe: hot Joe: least you could see what was up with it Joe: but 👶💀 Ronnie: can't and won't happen Ronnie: you'd have to fuck your fertile sister Joe: we can pretend that's why I like you Ronnie: you like me 'cause I'll always find a vein for you Ronnie: what else is there Joe: what ain't there Ronnie: 👶🍼 Joe: exactly Joe: one of the main things I look for Ronnie: are you on one knee right now or what? Joe: get you a rock worth having Joe: how's that for a proposal Ronnie: I don't trust it but I'll take it Joe: why not Joe: got that christmas cash Joe: not gonna waste it Ronnie: why would you wanna share with me, selfish prick from your own mouth, like Joe: 'cos getting high together is better Joe: deny it Ronnie: you know I can't Joe: gonna be a white christmas Joe: no need to trust just see Ronnie: when Joe: tomorrow Ronnie: don't fucking lie Joe: I ain't Ronnie: swear Ronnie: swear they ain't gonna guilt you into staying Joe: swear Joe: they ain't gonna even try Ronnie: make sure they let you on that flight Joe: 'course Joe: I'm totally legally medicated rn Ronnie: you're also a pussy Ronnie: bet all the younger siblings have drunk you under the table Joe: you're not wrong that lots of them pride themselves in their light alcoholism Ronnie: whatever gets 'em through the day, yeah? Joe: can't judge really Joe: not with a 💉 sticking out my arm Ronnie: that's tomorrow Ronnie: today anything goes baby Joe: I'll be the one to dish out the home truths Joe: that'd be unexpected Ronnie: someone's gotta your ma will be too busy trying to chuck the babies out Joe: playing hostess with the mostest 'cos can't keep playing the boy when she's got two kids here knocked up Joe: his ma is well smug 😂 Joe: *blaming Ronnie: one of us is having fun then Joe: take the small victories, ms cavante Ronnie: if she's not gonna kick your ma in the tits it'll have to do Joe: wish on a 🌠 baby Ronnie: I've got bad luck or no luck baby Ronnie: that shit don't work Joe: you won't care come tomorrow Ronnie: I don't care now Joe: see? Joe: lucky Ronnie: 🖕 Joe: seriously Joe: my head is Ronnie: I know Ronnie: mine screams too but I go louder Joe: I can't do anything in here Joe: need to go outside and none of those other bastards better take their 🚬 break 'til I'm done Ronnie: if you didn't give so much of a fuck you could do anything Ronnie: that's why I can't show up to your family christmas, you ain't ready mckenna Joe: just shut up alright Joe: let me fucking think Ronnie: you ain't keith richards how many more years of me do you need to stop having such a limp dick Ronnie: every junkie is on borrowed time Joe: you really thought you were gonna fix me Joe: come on now Joe: you're better than that Ronnie: I'm not better than anything Ronnie: lowest of the low baby Joe: then what Ronnie: you want answers from me? you're better than that Joe: no Joe: what the fuck are you doing Joe: you're the one wasting your borrowed time Ronnie: what, you're the only cunt who gets to hide from family christmas? Ronnie: I'm sick and they're sick of me Joe: I don't mean just today and you know it Ronnie: I don't give a fuck what you mean and you know it Joe: it's been years Ronnie: you want out, get out Joe: I don't Joe: but I'm the one with the limp dick Ronnie: yeah Joe: that's what I thought Ronnie: you think too much babe Joe: no shit Joe: don't wanna play therapy, thanks Ronnie: what do you wanna play then? Joe: you're sick, I'm sick Ronnie: no game Ronnie: it's how shit is Joe: fun never stops, babe Ronnie: if your idea of fun is making me wanna top myself, soft lad Joe: you can't Joe: you've gotta lick it up after Ronnie: can't I? race yous Joe: wait 'til I'm there Joe: don't ruin their day any more Ronnie: I'm already waiting for you to decide you wanna come back and be scum of the fucking earth with me again Joe: it ain't a choice to be made or not Joe: it's how shit is Ronnie: you made loads of choices to get there Ronnie: plane rides to dublin don't just happen Joe: basically Ronnie: pathetic Joe: yeah Ronnie: fuck you Ronnie: don't agree with me Joe: disagreeing ain't gonna change that I'm here now Ronnie: you don't wanna change it Ronnie: you love it Joe: yep Joe: big time Joe: fucking hell Ronnie: you've got such a misery hard on, you shouldn't be near kids Joe: why don't you hit them up Joe: let them know Ronnie: you're the only cunt with their mummy on speed dial Joe: alright well I ain't up for telling everyone I'm a predator Ronnie: do you wanna fuck her too or what? Joe: do you? Ronnie: nah Ronnie: why I don't come running every time someone in your family blows their nose or whatever the fuck Joe: me either Joe: it's christmas fucking day Joe: how many times Ronnie: like this is the first and only time Ronnie: but I'm crazy, yeah Joe: you are Joe: you're nuts Ronnie: don't forget it Ronnie: I'll be crazier by tomorrow Joe: promises promises Ronnie: I promise I'll ruin your fucking life, prick Joe: oh honey Joe: that's not a brag Joe: not hard is it Ronnie: you ain't talking to fitz baby I don't brag Joe: you can't Ronnie: you think you can tell me what I can and can't do Joe: don't take it personal Joe: try it Ronnie: don't take it personal when I kick the shit out of you mckenna Joe: how can I not when I love it so much Joe: think on Ronnie: 'cause I still love you 😍💋💘 Joe: s'alright baby, the way I wanna go out Joe: 💀💀💀 Ronnie: call me when you've stopped pleasuring your ma, I'll make it happen for you Joe: so understanding all of a sudden Joe: who's got your phone Ronnie: fuck off Joe: there she is Ronnie: what now you miss me? Ronnie: running late there baby Joe: I already told you I did Joe: you said I weren't allowed no more Ronnie: I said don't tell me Ronnie: I can't handle hearing it if it don't change a fucking thing Joe: alright Joe: but it changes a fucking lot Joe: you know Joe: not just for you Joe: I promise I'm really fucked from it Ronnie: yeah? Ronnie: so stop fucking around and come back to me Ronnie: first chance you get Ronnie: 'cause it's shit Joe: I know, I really know Joe: you've got no reason to believe me but you will see me tomorrow Joe: regardless of what any of them have gotta say on it Joe: never wanted to be here so not prolonging it Ronnie: I wanna believe you Ronnie: don't fuck me over twat Joe: I won't Joe: fuck myself over too Joe: time to start being fully selfish prick, yeah Joe: there's enough going on now, don't need me Ronnie: tell the truth that you're threatened by the off their tits 18 year olds that birthday boy will be surrounded by Ronnie: got more game than you Joe: yeah Joe: not the one chatting about fucking the barely legals Joe: but sure Ronnie: you would if they'd give you the time of day mckenna Ronnie: come on Ronnie: one day in dublin turned you into an old dried up nun? Joe: I dunno, I've not scoped out the guestlist that hard Joe: unlike my brother, girls I've known since they were kids don't do it for me, what can I say? Ronnie: blood relatives only like Joe: only when they're you Ronnie: such a lost fucking cause Joe: don't worry, was before you Joe: not gotta add that to the tally Ronnie: our safe word can be trauma bonding Ronnie: loads in common Ronnie: 💘 Joe: you're alright Joe: when you're not a total raging bitch Ronnie: never then Ronnie: what am I when I'm a raging bitch? Joe: for me Ronnie: you sure you don't wanna party with the homos babe? that was proper gay Joe: fuck off Ronnie: write me a symphony next, yeah? Joe: and I'm the gay Joe: alright, romantic Ronnie: don't get an attitude 'cause I've fucked more lasses than you Joe: still time Joe: not as old as you Ronnie: you wanna make it to that age or what? careful how you talk to me Joe: wow, just like having a nan Joe: cheers babe Ronnie: fuck you Joe: 💘 Ronnie: we all know if you had a nan you'd wanna fuck her too Ronnie: step outside the family baby you might enjoy yourself Joe: doubt it Joe: do have one technically but she ain't all that Ronnie: 💔 Ronnie: you need the scouse accent to get it up, yeah? Joe: you or the beatles ain't it Ronnie: that was mildly funny calm down Joe: steady on Joe: might think you like me Ronnie: won't last Ronnie: due a mood swing in like 2 seconds Joe: s'alright Joe: all 23 of you love me Ronnie: 😂😍 here 'course Joe: yeah, never trusting your emojis again Joe: need photographic evidence, like Ronnie: [sends it cos that bitch but imagine her actual grumpy cat face bye] Ronnie: in proper stitches, alright Joe: should play poker pro Joe: you're too cute though, never believe that face is 21 or over Ronnie: call me cute again and I'll carve it into your chest Ronnie: capital letters Joe: [sends voice memo] Ronnie: I proper fucking hate you Joe: you knew I'd wanna so you clearly want to as well Joe: don't blame me you sadist Ronnie: you know what I want mckenna Ronnie: we ain't got a secret santa going Joe: take these socks back Ronnie: you'll wanna keep 'em for your misery boner babe Joe: you've not got me an escort then Joe: gutting Ronnie: crazy, remember? you could fuck her but I'd have to kill her Joe: alright, I'll keep your charges at manslaughter level Joe: for you Ronnie: 💋 Joe: when do you next have a shift or are you done fully now Ronnie: tomorrow but that ain't happening if you've meant a word you said Joe: I'll make it worth it Ronnie: not hard to beat out retail when there's sales on Ronnie: wouldn't have gone if you were here or not Joe: don't tell me that Joe: I was talking 💸 not the #experience Ronnie: you wanna be my daddy too now? these roleplays are getting hard to keep count of Joe: again, thinking how much gear I'm gonna get but you can pout about it if you wanna Joe: already earned the scars so I don't mind saying it again Ronnie: rain man ain't a fantasy, gutted for you, like Ronnie: doing my best here Joe: you do it well Joe: smarter than everyone I know Ronnie: the princess will be gutted Joe: you don't have to tell her, like Joe: but not too fussed Ronnie: no secrets among scumbags baby Ronnie: even if she reckons she's levelled up Joe: you don't? Ronnie: anyone can drop a sprog Ronnie: trap a lad Ronnie: didn't saint your ma, did it? Joe: nah Joe: just don't reckon she was ever really one of us Joe: surprised if you do Ronnie: she wouldn't fight it so hard if she weren't Joe: I dunno Ronnie: I do, seen it loads Ronnie: gutters such a good fit it scares her shitless so she's gotta cling to that poor cunt Ronnie: he's her life raft through the shit Joe: hardly dragging him down though, is she Joe: not gonna be complaining any time soon, I've seen a lifetime of that Ronnie: everybody needs a fix that's theirs Joe: guess so Joe: no sign of getting over it any time soon Ronnie: I'm more likely to get clean before she does of him and I've got a nosebleed from all the shit B's ground up to stop me puking up Charlie's christmas feast Ronnie: sent my boss a pic though so it ain't all 💔 Joe: ☁ Joe: so glass half-full you, baby Ronnie: no shit Ronnie: can't be trusted with an empty one Joe: why are you the only one who talks any sense Joe: least all they're chatting is just waves now Ronnie: I pay attention Ronnie: you'd have broke your rules and 💘 me as a kid babe Joe: yeah? Joe: charlie's told me stories but never fully know what's bullshit or at the least exaggeration with him Ronnie: a solid 85% at least Ronnie: I was fucking feral though he's got that coined right Ronnie: you think I'm crazy now this shit's nothing Joe: I should've known you Ronnie: everyone who touched me back then has got a bite mark out of them Ronnie: you wouldn't have made it Joe: nah Joe: shit was different then Joe: so was I Ronnie: still gonna have been too soft whenever Joe: not the point though is it Joe: she should've got bitten Ronnie: she should've done loads of things Ronnie: she didn't Joe: I know Joe: fucked Ronnie: you won't give a shit tomorrow Joe: well Joe: be too numb to chat about it and think about it Joe: good as Ronnie: deal with it til then Joe: 🤐 got it Ronnie: unless you wanna bite your ma yourself like Ronnie: whatever gets you off Joe: you too Ronnie: cheers Ronnie: swallowing too much blood to fit in a dick but I'll try again later Joe: are you alright? Joe: where are the lads Ronnie: don't cry Ronnie: they're enjoying the show Ronnie: it ain't christmas til someone bleeds, pukes or pisses themselves Ronnie: can't give 'em the other two I ain't a pussy 💔 Joe: adorable, some would say Joe: is it really so much to ask that they keep you alive 'til I'm back Ronnie: relax I've had heavier periods Ronnie: you'll have to kill me yourself Joe: be fun trying Joe: challenge accepted Ronnie: hot Joe: don't forget it Ronnie: not gonna black out this shit ain't working that hard Joe: good Joe: call me needy all you want just don't go Ronnie: if I wanted to take the piss I could better than that Joe: not that gone either Ronnie: what are you on? Ronnie: 🍾 Joe: and my meds Joe: managed to get some extra 'cos I'm terrified of flying, obvs Ronnie: you're the one who's gonna die before you get here Ronnie: basically sober Ronnie: baby that's fucked Joe: I know Joe: options are limited Joe: not like I can go in on whatever anyone else is having when one lot is off the coke and the others are off the psychedelics Joe: fucking babies Ronnie: I mean, you could suck on the princess' tits but that ain't gonna give you what you really need Ronnie: talk to the dealer at your table, he's a baby too but he'll be holding something Joe: she's not got 3 Joe: and shut up Joe: though the latter isn't a terrible idea Joe: like you said, not gonna have anything good enough but Ronnie: I know, she weren't fully clothed for the 3way Joe: what part of shut up don't you get Ronnie: make me bitch Joe: such a twat you Ronnie: stop being a little fucking girl Joe: stop chatting about bullshit for a reaction Ronnie: you wanted me to stay Joe: yeah Joe: don't need to talk about that Ronnie: what then Ronnie: how much you love me Joe: anything but that Joe: literally Ronnie: I've plugged the 🩸 you can dry your eyes Joe: good Joe: don't be wasting it on something so lame Ronnie: you reckon that's lame I'm gonna have to eat the 💊 like it's the fucking 90s Ronnie: fuck's sake Joe: very retro Joe: see what throwbacks I can get from this kid too Joe: be a party Ronnie: get your brother some poppers for his birthday Joe: probably be appreciated Joe: hence I won't Joe: chuck the obligatory tenner his way Ronnie: 🌈🙌 Joe: 😬 Ronnie: such a prude joseph Joe: you didn't have to live with them/partially raise them Joe: not something I wanna think about and they insist on making me constantly, pretty much Ronnie: didn't get to, you mean Ronnie: we're all 💔 babe Joe: you can revel in how much of a blessing it is on that score with your commiseration toast Ronnie: yeah Joe: yeah Ronnie: now we're finishing each other sentences 💘😍 Joe: christ 😂 Joe: oh Joe: you know uni sophie is engaged now Joe: wanna go if they make it down the aisle? Ronnie: I really fucking do Ronnie: did I miss her engagement party? Joe: dunno actually Joe: I'll actually ask next time she tries to talk Joe: bet she's missed you almost as much as me Ronnie: ask her now she'll have wished you merry christmas Joe: how'd you know? Joe: hacked my accounts Joe: hot Ronnie: I could but don't need to Ronnie: a 💍 don't mean she ain't still 😍💘 for you mckenna Joe: still only human, after-all Ronnie: 🖕 Joe: awh come on Joe: you know you wanna see 'em all in their festive jumpers Joe: [sends post] Ronnie: fucking hell Ronnie: she one of your plan b girls like, she's got fat enough that you might wanna check she swallowed it Joe: ugh no Joe: any plan b baby of mine would be toddling by now Ronnie: reassuring Joe: if you want 99% on that front I'll sweep the old friends list Joe: make sure they've got no offspring with the 👂s Ronnie: you reckon I haven't Ronnie: living with such a computer whizz Joe: true Joe: his talents are probably better spent getting free netflix Ronnie: way ahead of you Joe: boxsets are what the season is really about Ronnie: gutted you ain't here, yeah? Joe: yeah Ronnie: you'll be back in time for the finale where the korean robots stop fighting to the death long enough to save the world or whatever the fuck Joe: 😂 Joe: can't wait Ronnie: 'course not Ronnie: edge of your seat shit Joe: do you ever think about going back Joe: to liverpool Ronnie: for what? Ronnie: am I losing the accent? 💔 Joe: not as bad as I have Joe: I dunno Ronnie: no fucker there I wanna see Ronnie: you'll have to do the mckenna childhood ghost tour on your own Joe: come on Joe: gear must be good Joe: fuss they made about it Ronnie: it's decent here Ronnie: take another swing babe Joe: cheaper there Joe: everything, like Ronnie: you know how to get freebies Joe: fine Ronnie: I'm not gonna play house with you in that shithole, shut the fuck up Joe: I said fine Joe: jesus Ronnie: couldn't hear it through your tears like Joe: piss off Joe: it ain't about you Ronnie: you asked me if I wanted to go back Ronnie: I ain't stopping you Joe: can't anyway Joe: doubt their orchestra pays as well Joe: assuming there is one Ronnie: if everything's cheaper they don't need to Joe: whatever Joe: be a stupid thing to do regardless Ronnie: and you never do anything stupid, yeah? Joe: it's the one area of my life I don't Joe: yeah Ronnie: don't be a prick Ronnie: you know you could join the philharmonic Joe: I ain't going Joe: forget about it Ronnie: fine Joe: funny Ronnie: feels like shit don't it, getting one back Ronnie: just 'cause you're surrounded by sprongs don't mean you can't use your words Joe: you don't wanna go, there's nowt else to say Ronnie: it ain't about me Ronnie: you forgot you just said that already? Joe: doesn't mean I wanna go without you Joe: don't be stupid Ronnie: you can find another girl to shoot you up babe Joe: if you're gonna chat shit don't bother Joe: I love you Ronnie: give yourself a gift and hate me Joe: If I could, it'd have been on sight Joe: it's not like you charmed your way into my 💘 Ronnie: nah I injected myself into your veins Joe: don't give away your secrets Ronnie: not to shit on your christmas but it's only a secret for that lot where you are Joe: worst kept Ronnie: why keep it then? Joe: why announce it? Ronnie: you reckon she should get bitten, that'd do it Joe: 🥂 gather round fam Joe: they'd not believe it Joe: find a way to laugh it off, ignore the obvious Ronnie: roll up your sleeve, they can't fucking ignore that Joe: I'm pissing off mid-festivities Joe: that'll do it Ronnie: pussy Joe: what's it matter to you Ronnie: fuck you Joe: I mean it Joe: I'm coming back Ronnie: and that's all I give a shit about, yeah? Joe: obviously not Joe: but it makes no odds to you if I ruin their lives or not Ronnie: you're a cunt Joe: yeah Joe: but why specifically Ronnie: why the fuck do you think Joe: you want me to pick you Joe: to burn it all to the ground for them Joe: it ain't enough all the ways I've already done both Ronnie: you want me to be happy that you've had your cake and ate it Ronnie: nah, I hope you fucking choke baby Joe: I'll try my best Joe: I can't go back and make her keep you, there's shit I can do Ronnie: I don't want her, I want you Joe: it's been four fucking years Joe: you have me Joe: fucking Joe: I'd die without you Joe: I could get clean before I could leave you Ronnie: you did leave Joe: okay Joe: I did Joe: I left Ronnie: and they want you to stay Ronnie: these pricks want the princess here over me Joe: baby Joe: they want you Joe: they just need a chance to miss you, it's all it is Joe: we can go somewhere Joe: anywhere Ronnie: I'm fucking off to yours Ronnie: after that wherever Joe: I promise Joe: wherever you wanna Joe: and for how long Ronnie: wherever you want Ronnie: I don't give a shit Joe: it don't matter Joe: I just need to see you Ronnie: yeah Joe: you know I want you don't you Ronnie: show me when you drag your arse back here Joe: of course Ronnie: 💘 Ronnie: it's like walking through a ghost town, you'd have such a boner if you were here Joe: shame Joe: is the cat there Ronnie: yeah Ronnie: singing carols for me Joe: she's talented Ronnie: shame I ain't a pushy stage ma Joe: why live vicariously when you can be a double-act babe Ronnie: you're not funny mckenna Joe: s'okay Joe: won't insist on being the warm-up Joe: not that kinda dad Ronnie: you need the practice though Joe: have to write my set on the plane Joe: impress you Ronnie: give you something to do besides cry and touch yourself Joe: not flying first Joe: or business even Joe: no blanket, no tissues Joe: 😿 Ronnie: poor baby Joe: I know Joe: tragedy Ronnie: I'm not doing the dance moves, like Ronnie: keep dreaming Joe: 💔 Joe: send me a video of your duet at least then Ronnie: [imagine that sassy cat please] Joe: I miss her Joe: shame she'd probably gouge our eyes out if we tried to take her with Ronnie: so will I but that ain't ever turned you off Joe: no one's going to ring RSPCA if they see me kidnapping you Ronnie: childline maybe Ronnie: I ain't forgot you said I had a fucking 👶 face you twat Joe: 😂 Joe: true Joe: but I'm banking on you being that offended you'll sort 'em out, like Ronnie: and you Joe: 💘 Joe: banking on that too Ronnie: 🖕💋 Ronnie: brb calling Briggs for a full face tat before you show up Joe: if you don't wanna kiss that bad, just say Ronnie: shut up Joe: so what's it to be Joe: spiders web Joe: skull Ronnie: see what the genius comes up with Joe: I look forward to the big reveal Ronnie: what time's your flight? Joe: [some ungodly AM 'cos xmas madness] Ronnie: fuck Joe: don't worry Joe: won't wake you Ronnie: all these pills will probably keep me up Ronnie: fuck knows Joe: n'awh, you wanna wait up for me Joe: how sweet 😏 Ronnie: kill yourself Ronnie: you've got more of my attention than korean death robots, calm down Ronnie: it's not a brag babe Joe: isn't it Joe: it's pretty epic if Bronson's livetweets are anything to go by Ronnie: it's the pills talking Joe: 😂 Joe: never have that affect on you 💔 Ronnie: deal with it Ronnie: I ain't gonna clean your flat, like Joe: probably enabling that, if you think about it Joe: so caring, babe Ronnie: how late did you leave packing there's shit everywhere Joe: I didn't Joe: only needed what I've got on Joe: got their presents in town Joe: easy Ronnie: you fucking knew you were gonna come straight back and still wanted me to beg Ronnie: maybe you ain't as soft as you were Joe: wanted makes it sound like I planned any part of it Joe: I knew I was coming back 'cos today was all I could stand Joe: being here, not being there Ronnie: don't ruin the fantasy Joe: poor baby Ronnie: yeah I am Ronnie: climbing the fucking walls here Joe: you or sid Ronnie: me and her Joe: babies Joe: what can I do Joe: need something to do Ronnie: do me Joe: alright Joe: call me Ronnie: [obviously does so we can end it there]

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