#dunno how long i want this event to be

[egophiliac]

still ruminating over Lost In the Book With Spooky Skeletons Part 1, so here's a selection of some of my favorite little bits! (...some more loosely paraphrased than others) (I just feel like Idia has no room to criticize in general, okay)

anyway, I'm sure we're just going to have a fun time celebrating Halloween and nothing bad is going to happen whatsoever! :)

[shikai-the-storyteller]

Hmm

[whilomm]

game designers making their games extremely speedrun friendly and optimizing menuing is OUT

game designers purposefully adding in little weird bits into the game not to necessarily impeed the speedrun, but rather just because you're curious how the runners will handle it is IN

[ticklytums]

HELLO ALL! I have been busy as hell, and just not feeling like being here BUT

I have been reinvigorated with muse, especially for my Little Firefly au fanfic that is a slightly different ending of Luz going back in time and seeing Philip that is going to focus heavily on the Wittebane brothers and Evelyn, and other characters,

I’ve been wanting to write this for like two years now honestly?? but I think the uncertainty of how much canon might alter things kept me from it. Now that we have all the information I know exactly how to spin canon with my au! So if you enjoy the Wittebane brothers and Luz and Philip throwing shade at each other stick around 😂 

(yes it’ll definitely have a lot of tickles. Philip is a grumpy boi and his brother knows how to get that smile to turn upside down 😏 and Caleb is absolutely a giggly boy that Evelyn turns to squealing putty under her fingers)

[mossyinkynebulous]

So I got this text a couple hours ago. I have no idea why. Not complaining though.

Wasn't expecting to recieve a joke within the first quarter hour of being awake, but I found it humerus.

[deadsetobsessions]

Sea Cryptic! Danny AU- Pt. 7

[Pt.1] [Pt.2] [Pt.3] [Pt.4] [Pt.5] [Pt.6] [Pt.8] [Pt.9] [Pt.10]

“I’m having a child.”

Danny stared at Batman.

“…Uh, congrats?”

Batman whips out a stack of paper and a pen. “It’s you. Sign here and initial the highlighted spots.”

Danny instinctively, from years of dealing with Vlad, whacked the stack right out of Batman’s hands and into the bay. He doesn’t even feel bad about littering this time because, “Begone, fruitloop!”

Wait, no, that’s not what he meant.

“I mean- I have parents!”

“Not for long.” Batman muttered and then did a double take. “You have parents? How?”

Danny gasped, placing a hand on his chest to clutch his metaphorical pearls. He ignored Batman’s mutters. Everyone knows the vigilante has an adoption problem. At least, everyone who lived in Gotham did, as everyone who didn’t was somehow convinced that he “worked alone” or some bullshit like that. “Are you naturally this insensitive or were you dropped on your head as a baby? Obviously I had to come from somewhere.”

“They’re still… alive?”

“And kicking,” Danny said, inching away from yet another rich weird guy trying to adopt him. “Mostly the kicking part, though.” He said, remembering the sparring sessions. His mom could kick his as six ways to Sunday with nothing but jiu-jitsu and still have time to work in the lab.

“I see.”

“I’m charging you extra for the emotional upheaval. I have trauma regarding rich people trying to adopt me.”

Batman sullenly handed over a thousand.

“Sweet. There’s a group of shades down here asking if you could find their murderer. Apparently the serial killer is still at large.” Danny pointed.

“Of course. Tell me everything.”

The adoption papers disappeared as Batman went into detective mode.

Danny shoved the cash into his glowing chest and breathed a sigh of relief. He needed to make rent this month so it was a windfall running into Batman.

——

“Hey, Tim?”

Tim woke up from his Power Nap. “Huh?”

“Phantom’s complaining that Batman kept trying to adopt him.”

Tim blinked. “Uh.. what does that have to do with me?”

Danny stared at him, a patiently amused smile on his face. “Just in case the rumor about the Wayne’s sugar-daddy-into the Bats was a thing. Other than that, we might have to confront Batman to get him off of Phantom’s back. ”

“You… want to confront Batman.”

“Hey, man, Phantom’s a friend and it’s ride or die.” Danny snickered. It was literally die, with his Phantom side of things. He held two fists up, and wound them, like Popeye right after eating spinach or something. “And if Batman bothers Phantom, we ride at dawn.”

“Batman doesn’t come out unless it’s dark, though? Or for the Justice League.” Tim grinned. He mentally classified Danny under his “to go to” list. That’s where Bart, Bernard, Cassie, Kon, and Garfield were. If he starts shit, he could count on them to have his back and cause even more shit. Danny, wanting to fistfight Bruce over the man making Phantom uncomfortable? He absolutely is making that list.

“Then we ride at, like, dusk. Or uh, like 10PM. I gotta get my beauty sleep.”

“You’ll definitely need it,” Tim inconspicuously texted the group chat, which quickly blew up.

“Shut up,” Danny playfully shoved Tim. “Wait, can Batman even legally adopt? Isn’t being a vigilante illegal? And how can he adopt someone dead?”

Tim dramatically flailed and splayed over Danny’s carpeted living room. “Dunno about his identity,” he lied to Danny, like a liar. “But Gotham has a bunch of laws for the undead/restored to life people so there’s probably enough gray space there.”

Danny spluttered. “You guys have undead friendly laws?”

“Yeah, geht do you think Grundy just chills out? Plus, we have like a minor resurrection event every few years. It usually doesn’t stick but sometimes it does. Bruce pushed for those laws when Jason came back to life, except he doesn’t actually want people to know he’s like, alive.”

“Jason died?” Danny blinked. Well, that would explain the vibes. “Huh. So what’s up with his rank vibes then?”

“Rank vibes?” Tim pressed record on his phone.

Danny nodded. “Yeah, you know how Phantom’s got like a really chill green vibe?” Inwardly, Danny snickered at his pun. Chill. Yeah, he meant that very literally. “Jason’s got kind of a rank green vibe. He’s kind of stinky? Definitely never introduce him to Phantom.” Danny’s senses got worse in his ghost form.

“Jason regularly showers, though?!”

“Not smell! Like, a spiritual smell?”

“You can smell souls?!” Tim sat up. “Bro, you’re a meta?!”

“Uh.” Danny hesitated. “Yeah. I can smell souls. It’s a thing. Everyone from my town can do it.”

“What?!” Tim paused. “Wait, can Phantom smell souls?”

“Yeah. We’re, uh, from the same town.”

“Danny, what the fuck?”

“Hey, don’t look at me like that, you’re the one with a soul-sick brother! Not to mention, you’re kinda stinky too!”

“Hey!”

“Soul-stinky nerd man!”

——

“I stink?!” Jason spluttered out, extremely offended.

“The Lazarus pits. He’s most likely smelling traces of Lazarus pit on you, you imbecile.”

“We need to speak to Phantom. This instant.”

“I dunno, B. Danny sounded like he was gonna break your face if you bothered Phantom anymore.” Dick snickered.

“Yeah,” Tim chimed in, from his seat in front of the Bat-computer. “He was pretty serious.”

“Are we just gonna glaze over the fact that they’re from the same town?!” Stephanie exclaimed, practicing her moves on a training dummy.

“How does that even work? What does that mean? I thought Phantom was an immortal?” Duke asked.

“We also can’t rule out time-travel.” Barbara slammed her baton into a training dummy, twisting her wheelchair in an agile maneuver that left the dummy on the floor.

“No bothering Phantom.” Cass proclaimed.

“That’s quite right. You all have a warm dinner sitting above your cave and should it remain uneaten, I assure you that sherbet Sunday and crêpe Tuesday shall be canceled.” Alfred stepped in. The Bats, threatened, scrambled to ditch their gear and go upstairs.

[xiaowhore]

genshin men as shoujo tropes.

characters. neuvillette, wriothesley, & alhaitham.

note. in celebration of the shoujo renaissance (and also bc im having a hard time finishing the drafts i left half a year ago) i present to you the ideas i had while half-asleep this morning. i dunno if this will ever be a consistent series but here are the first 3! (heads up: female pronouns will be used in this fic!)

neuvilette ; the duke

it has to be said. he's the duke of the north.

you belong to an aristocratic family, but you're basically neglected due to being your father's illegitimate child with a maid and your younger sister is much better than you at every way there is. appearance, etiquette, and intellect—she is far more superior than you at these aspects. countless men ask for her hand in marriage, while none asks for yours.

but honestly, you didn't want to be wed to a noble. you dream of being a commoner, free from the clutches of your family who looks down on you and solely dotes on your sister. you could be a baker perhaps, since you've always had a hobby of making sweets.

yet your parents suddenly announce you're now engaged. and to the duke of the north, of all people! he has made a great contribution for the war against the monsters within the continent, but he is more known for his ruthlessness and harsh temperament. if you were to be his wife, what would happen to you? the duke holds a lot of power, but no one wants to marry him because they're all afraid of him, you included.

as you're being sent to his castle by carriage, you're already trying to comfort yourself. at least you're away from your family now. he couldn't possibly be worse than them. and as ruthless the rumors all say he is, duke neuvillette is not the type of man to beat a woman who has done no wrong.

your first dinner with him is completely silent. the clacking of cutlery pierces through the air, the only sound you can hear other than your heart rapidly pounding in your chest. your head is bowed, too fearful to meet him in the eye, but you can't help sneaking glances at him.

the duke doesn't appear in most events hosted by nobles, too busy defending his territory from monstrous creatures to attend. but you see now that those rumors about him being unsightly could not be any more false. his long hair drapes over his shoulders, not a strand out of place. his gaze is calculating, a fascinating blue you can't look away from, and his nose cuts a high angle—he'd look fetching if he wore glasses as he does paperwork. really... how could this man be your husband-to-be?

as you're busy worrying over how you shouldn't offend him and appreciating his appearance, neuvillette is trying his best to appear calm. the woman of his dreams is right in front of him, whose hand was promised to him if he won against the dragon slumbering in the northern mountains. the woman he had yearned for years on end, the woman who gave him strength as he was on the verge of death during the war, the woman who doesn't remember him anymore—

but he promised you long ago he'll make you the happiest woman in the world, and he's intent on keeping his vows.

neuvilette may appear stoic, but he's nothing but sweet to you. he accompanies you at every opportunity he isn't busy with work, spoils you rotten, and makes you want for nothing. word spread throughout the land that duke neuvillette couldn't be any more smitten with his wife, erasing all rumors that claimed he was heartless. you were intimidated by him at the start, but as you spent more time with him, you learned that there was no reason to be.

...however, that only applies to you. although you never said it outright, neuvillette can tell your family didn't care for you properly. he already had reservations with them, and now he has other reasons to be angry.

when your sister comes to his residence and claims there was a “mix-up” in the marriage, that she should be the one wed to him and not you, he is furious.

but there's really only one ending for this story—after all, his heart only belongs to you.

wriothesley ; the bodyguard

you're the only granddaughter of a yakuza leader and wriothesley is your bodyguard who will protect you no matter what. (not claiming ‘a girl and her guard dog’ energy; there are plenty of other mangas who have this trope too.)

you're just an ordinary girl with a very extraordinary family but you want to live a normal life free of violence and keep your family background a secret. you beg your grandfather to let you attend classes at a normal school, and he allows you in one condition: wriothesley must be with you at all times.

so yeah. this tall and absolutely ripped guy is behind you every time you walk to school, in the corridors, on the way to the cafeteria, and the only time he isn't following you is when you go to the restroom.

very protective. never lets his guard down when you're talking to boys. doesn't understand what you see in the handsome guy that everyone likes when his looks aren't all that great (he's just jealous).

“let's go home. it's about time for the car to arrive... what do you mean you still have something to do? ...there's someone waiting for you at the rooftop? you found a love letter in your locker? ...i'll wait for you at the door.”

he does wait for you at the door, but he also tries to hear the conversation you're having. and maybe he scoffs a little when he sees the guy who's trying to vye for your attention, because clearly wriothesley worried for nothing.

there will be a lot of dangerous events involved (i.e. kidnapping for ransom, attempts to kill you as revenge, wriothesley's enemies trying to harm you because you're the person he loves etc.) but wriothesley will save you each time.

“i'm right here,” he says as he cradles you in his arms, hugging your trembling body. “you don't have to fear anything now.”

it's nothing serious. just a pathetic attempt at kidnapping by a bunch of idiots who want ransom money. you're safe and sound in the car, waiting for him to finish his business with the delinquents, but that fact doesn't make his anger fade at all. “if i see a single scratch on her, i'll kill you.”

his head is bleeding, dripping crimson over his right eye, but all he sees is your bound wrists, the bruise on your cheek, the blood on your lip. he's out of bullets. you're both surrounded by henchmen. he has a single blade in his pocket. still, he roars with uncontrollable rage, “no one touches her!”

(very important detail: he calls you “my lady.”)

alhaitham ; the nonchalant male lead

he's definitely the cold guy who's (at first) rude and blunt to the female lead.

you've liked him since you were kids. your moms are best friends and you live next door to each other. both of your parents seem convinced you're going to end up together, but he rejects every single one of your advances—not that it discourages you from trying again next time.

you try to walk to school with him even though he always goes to the library too early and you're the furthest thing from a morning person. you offer him the best parts of the lunchbox you cook for yourself. you give him a cold drink after gym class. you invite him out to the mall during the weekends to hang out. you doll yourself up everyday with cosmetics and accessories in hopes that he'll think you're pretty.

but alhaitham always just looks... disinterested. especially during dinners where both of your families are present and his mother teases him about dating you for what seems like the nth time that night.

and you know he's not obligated to like you back or anything. but you still want to get his attention. you want to improve yourself to get him to like you.

alhaitham may come across as cold-hearted, but he buys you bread from the convenience store on the way to school because he knows you missed breakfast just to go with him. he keeps an eye out for any stray balls hitting you during gym class because for some reason you attract them like a magnet. he often declines your offer to go outside during weekends, but he's willing to tutor you for the test scheduled next week.

so you like to think of yourself as someone special. because surely, he doesn't do these things for anyone else, right? you must be one of the closest people to his heart, right?

but then the pretty girl from the class next door confesses to him, and you think you've lost your chance. she's tall and gorgeous, her clothes are always the latest fashion, and you're pretty sure she's around the same student rankings as alhaitham. they're talking by the cherry blossom tree, and no one can hear what they're saying behind the wall you're hiding from in your quest to eavesdrop on them.

but then alhaitham leaves first, not giving her a single glance after what you assume to be a swift rejection. the girl isn't crying, but she looks a bit shocked as she returns to school, not expecting the turn of events.

your classmates don't even pretend to be decent; all of them are asking her what happened. “he says he's not interested in dating, that's all.”

and at that, you sigh in relief. even if you're not special to him now, no one else is either.

you don't notice her looking at you, envy burning in her gaze. she didn't say any lies—but she did omit something important.

“i think... i like someone now. the most important person to me.”

[aberooski]

Now that I've started the 4th chapter of the Mario crossover.... getting really fucking tempted to say fuck it and start posting it already aksksksk

[vulturvolanss]

i love having like the one non-incest/adult and child ship I’ve ever hated blacklisted bc it makes half of character tags just evaporate into thin air

(this was meant to be a joke post but then I started a fucking analysis in the tags that no one will read. my bad.)

[angelsrcute]

⌗ THEM FUCKING THEIR DARLING AT A MOVIE THEATER. 𐙚˙⋆.˚

(´∀｀*)ε｀　) ౨ৎ N–sfw content !! ; Dom!Alhaitham, Ayato, Tartaglia + Sub!F!Reader ➜ cws: Exhibitionism (Movie theatre), fingering(Tartaglia + Alhaitham), riding(Ayato), clit stimulation, raw + unprotected sex, almost getting caught, praising, dirty talk(Tartaglia). ᡴꪫ‎

꒰ † ੭ — For the event! + I'm sorry this took so long!! but I hope you'll like it.（×_×；） req by @vieannee

⌗ ALHAITHAM would shove his fingers in your cunt, your face all red with embarrassment as you try to bite back moans. Well, he really isn't a fan of romance movies, it's just not his cup of tea but he'd do anything for his darling. While watching the movie, he didn't expect a sex scene but he suddenly got turned on by the noises. So now he's here, a hand on your mouth so that the others can't hear his sweet little lover. He's definitely enjoying this too! Two of his fingers stretching your cunt out while his other hand rubs slow circles on your puffy clit, I mean, if someone really paid any attention, they'd hear the sinful noises coming from the back. Guess they're really enjoying the movie, huh?

“C’mon now, you wouldn't want others to know what we're doing here, do you? I'll fuck you properly when we get back home, so be a good girl for now.”

⌗ AYATO would book a whole ass theatre for you, having you sit on his lap while he plays with your hair, the sex scene in the movie caught him off guard, he got a boner too! Well, no one is here anyway, you riding him wouldn't hurt anyone, the sound of skin slapping filling up the room along with your mewls. His hands guiding your body up and down, groaning at how good your cunt feels, praising you. The guard coming inside the theatre and asking if everything's alright made him stop his movements, hands covering your mouth as he acts normal. His voice so calm, like he wasn't just fucking you.

“Ah yes, do not mind us, everything's fine, my lover feels a bit under the weather, I'm taking care of her, you see.”

⌗ TARTAGLIA would just tease you throughout the movie, commenting on how cute you look while blushing during some romantic scenes. He didn't know this movie had a sex scene! Well now he's blushing as his eyes flicker to you. Gloved hands covering your mouth to cover your noises as he scissors your cunt open with his fingers, hitting your sweet spot that made your eyes roll back. Whispering dirty words to your ear.

“Hey is it me or the sounds are too loud, like it's happening in this room” “Dunno man, I don't hear anything, you're thinking too much.”

Poor dudes, they didn't know there was a live show going on behind them, only if they turned their heads!

Taglist: @blueberrisdove

[osaemu]

"YOU'RE PREGNANT?!" FT. GOJO SATORU

✩ ‧ ˚. synopsis: gojo mistakes your period symptoms for signs of you being pregnant.

contents: fem!reader. mentions of pregnancy and periods (duh), gojo is an idiot (obviously), innocent miscommunication lol. gets pretty suggestive.

just because satoru gojo's the strongest sorcerer on the planet, that doesn't mean he's the smartest one; especially when it comes to you.

not too long ago, you got your period, and the cramps have to be the most painful thing you've ever experienced. nestling yourself farther in between the couch cushions, you wrap your arms around your stomach and wince, eyebrows furrowing. somewhere in the background, you hear satoru enter your house and call for you, but your stomach hurts a little too much to allow you to do more than hum in response.

"baby?" satoru calls again, poking his head in the living room and smiling when he sees you. "hey, i'm hom— babe, you okay?"

you open one of your eyes (which was previously squeezed shut) and look at him, a soft whine slipping out from your lips when the pain in your stomach goes up a notch. "hey, 'toru," you mumble, watching him quickly plop down besides you on the couch. his eyes round in concern when he notices how tight your teeth are pressed against each other, and a moment later, satoru scoops you up and holds you in his lap.

"is.. this 'cause of last night?" satoru murmurs, stroking your hair as you squirm in his grip. his eyes are focused on your scrunched-up face as you fidget, struggling to find a comfortable position.

"i dunno," you mumble, assuming that satoru's referring to the way you scurried off into the bathroom the second you and satoru finished round after round in his sheets. funnily enough, your interpretation of the events is starkly different than satoru's.

you had immediately gone to the bathroom because you suspected that your period might've come, and you were right. but to satoru, he had something very different on his mind; especially since last night was the first time you two had fucked without protection.

satoru pauses before replying, face slowly tinting pink as his version of the events settles in. he had no idea your departure from his arms so soon after sex was because you just wanted to check for your period; on the contrary, he thought you ran into the bathroom to check if you were pregnant.

"are you—" he starts, dipping his chin and looking you straight in the eye. satoru's azure eyes carefully take in your expression, studying your features for a sign of what's to come.

you nod. "yeah, i am." on your period, that is.

satoru's eyes widen and the corners of his lips twitch with a smile. "is that why your stomach's hurting?" he whispers, and you hardly spare a thought as to why his reaction was nothing like what it usually was.

"duh," you huff, automatically assuming that he's talking about period cramps. "why else would my stomach be hurting?"

"holy shit, are you kidding?" satoru breathes, eyes lighting up like a child's would on christmas. you make a face, confusion evident all across your features.

"that's not the reaction i was expecting," you note tentatively. satoru's mouth falls open a little and after a moment, he immediately dips his head and kisses you, long and slow. his mouth tastes like spearmint (like always), and something about the way his lips melt into yours feels... different.

"is this better?" satoru whispers, smiling against your lips. you nod, carefully removing your arms from your torso and wrapping them around satoru instead. you nod hazily, more invested in the way satoru's mouth collides with yours than in anything else.

"much better."

"anythin' for my pretty girl," satoru murmurs, eyes softening every time they settle on your face. his hand trails down your waist and settles on your tummy, and he slips his hand underneath your t-shirt and rubs the skin with his thumb. a couple more seconds slip by in silence, with the only sound being the soft breaths you two take in between kisses.

when satoru finally tilts his head up and takes a longer breath, you both open your mouths to speak at once.

"i can't believe i'm gonna be a dad."

"my period cramps feel a lot better."

the two of you stare at each other in silence for a long, long second. you blink and ask, "what did you say?"

satoru tilts his head like a confused puppy, eyebrows lifting in uncertainty. "uh, what did you say?"

you look away, cheeks heating up as you mumble, "satoru, i'm not... pregnant...?" you stare at him blankly, matching the confused look on his face. "i'm on my period, baby. what did you—"

"oh, shit."

"yeah."

five awkward seconds go by until you clear your throat and smile up at him hesitantly. "i mean... d'you want a kid?"

satoru's face somehow goes even redder, which you didn't know was even possible. after a moment, he nods, and the subtle movement is enough for you to grab his face and pull him in to kiss you again; and you stay like that for the rest of the night.

[kithtaehyung]

bet wrong (3tan717) | myg

drabble: bet wrong pairing: 3tan!yoongi x reader(f)  series: masterlist | three tangerines | 3tan717 | one  rating/genre: pg (18+) ; angst , fluff ; brother’s best friend au, implied age gap au summary: after seeing how comfortable yoongi is in his place with your brother and their friends, it’s hard for you to leave… but it’s also hard for you to stay. note: apologies for all the late postings! but kim yeji’s aura was so strong it made me write about her so here we are hahaha. it's not really edited cus i just wrote this up and posted so apologies for any mistakes! note 2: this is in a pocket universe in the three tangerines series, so if you haven’t read the series yet, these characters would make more sense if you did hehe. even though this is very heavily influenced by the olympics, i’m keeping it as easy to read as i can. you can imagine them watching any of the events happening lol warnings: 3tan yoongi as always, angst, olympics talk, yoongi fights back??, the Yearning is Strong, reader is a tease, shiv is back!, brother and jimin are dorks, but so is everyone else, yoongi on the phone, he's so down bad y'all i wanna cry :(( drop date: august 1st, 2024, 7:17pm est word count: 2.3k (just like the first drabble omg?)

—

—

“Hey, you made it!”

“Oh, shit, look who’s here!”

After a quick greeting to everyone in Yoongi’s living room, you slip off your shoes with a distracted, “I can’t stay long but, I’m here!”

Even though the handsome devil next to you shoots a look, it’s your brother that speaks up, “Wait, why?”

“I’m meeting my friends in a bit.” You hand a still-quiet Yoongi some snacks you brought for everyone, asking a question with a very obvious answer, “Where should I put these?”

He blinks before forcing out, “Over here.”

“K.”

Sounds of conversation and sports games spring about. Jimin’s clearly in some sort of squabble with your brother and Shiv is fanning the flames. There’s a couple guys you recognize but don’t really know talking on the opposite side of the coffee table, but they’re all watching the Olympics and giving their own comments. 

Hopefully it’s noisy enough to shroud your dizzying thoughts. Because Yoongi looks damn good in his casual fit and his hair speaks volumes. 

What you would give to run your fingers through those waves. Following him through his bustling apartment is already giving you the shivers, so what would a sudden touch feel like? A burst of fire?

“I’ll take those,” he instructs, taking the bags from you and pulling everything out with crinkles. When he sees a certain bag, his blinks make you giggle.

It’s a specific chip he likes, recently divulged during a long night of learning things about one another—like favorite foods, and how fast or slow he likes you riding. 

So of course you threw it in your basket before heading over. 

Commentators make conversation on the television as you shrug, “Don’t ask me, I dunno how those got in there.”

God, that smile always makes you melt. And he proceeds to turn you into mush as he shows gratitude under his breath,

“Thanks, doll.”

“Seriously, I think they just handed me those,” you joke, trying your best to not do any of the million and three things you want to. “Said I was cute or something.”

His laugh is immediate. But it’s shoved away by cheers and yells, and both of you pop out of the kitchen to see what happened on the tv.

Something big must have went down because even Yoongi reacts, scaring you with a delayed reaction,

“Holy shit, what happened? Sorry,” he immediately apologizes at your flinch, putting a daring but comforting hand on your lower back before making his way to the group.

Did he really just…

He is lucky your brother didn’t see from the other side of the couch. 

That was the boldest Yoongi’s ever been and he’s quite literally kissed you in your kitchen. 

“Yeji got silver.”

“What? Wait, run it back!”

“I thought she'd take it!"

Chill out. Relax, relax, relax. Everyone else is clearly entranced by whatever happened and no one is even looking at you. Relax.

But damn, that touch meant a lot more than an apology. 

Seems like the one vocally surprised at the replay wants to do a million and three things, too. 

On your emotional decrescendo, you scuttle back to grab a plastic cup. No use in trying to join them anyway. All you can do for now is get a drink in a kitchen you’re not supposed to know your way around.

Being in his place while your brother is too is quite the experience. 

However. 

This is absolutely the ideal situation you should be in. You would be the one showing up at Yoongi’s at the invitation of your brother, and it would be a small party where you blend right into the background with minimal interaction. 

But of course, the feelings of distance and guilt creep onto your feet, rooting you in place and forcing you to watch from afar. 

They’re all checking their phones and pointing at each other—accusingly? Excitedly?—before switching between different games on the tv and yelling at each other. 

And while you adore them for being such lovable geeks about this, your eyes cannot stop pinning Yoongi with longing. He’s so radiant doing the most normal things, and his eyes have that sparkle they get when he’s comfortable and at home. 

He’s perfect.

Your heart’s warm.

And the cup in your hand never touches your mouth.

—

—

After you take a seat at his dining table—yet another thing you should not know anything about—you cycle between watching them interact and scrolling on your apps. 

At first, you thought you were safe. Staying in the back and letting them have their own time together is good enough for you, especially since you were invited by your brother to stop by.

Really, you were just a courier for food they wanted. 

But it was on the way. And it’s a chance to see someone you’ve been missing.

So of course you faked reluctance to come.

The plan was to do exactly this. Hang back until you had to leave, maybe have a bite or two, and try hard not to yearn for Yoongi too long.

Failed step three.

But also now step one, because Shiv decides to twist around to yell, “Hey! Come join us!” 

“I’m good over here,” you reply, smiling when he gives you a look. 

“Suit yourself!” 

One of the guys you recognize but don’t really know gets off the couch to head into the kitchen, asking a question as he opens the fridge.

Wait, he’s asking you something? You?

You leave your chair so you can hear him better, and when he repeats his question you respond.

“Want a drink?”

“Oh, uhh. Sure.”

“Pick your poison. Yoongi doesn’t have much but it’s all strong.”

He’s pretty cute. But then again, all your brother’s friends seem to end up this way. “Water’s fine,” you say with a light smile. “I have to be somewhere else in a minute.”

“Leaving so soon?” He grabs a cup to fill with your choice before handing it over. Leaning against the same counter Yoongi has smushed you against many times, the man takes a sip of his beer. “You just got here.”

“I was told to bring food.”

“Ah, come on. You can stay a bit.”

Uh huh.

Bold choice to be flirting with the company present today.

But you know what to do. Swerve. “What even happened back there? You guys scared the shit outta me.”

From the creases of his eyes, your plan works. “Oh, Yeji? She was supposed to win gold.”

“Feel like she won anyway.”

You both snap your heads over to the kitchen threshold, and your stomach could win a floor routine with the amount of flips it completes. “How come?” You decide to ask, throwing both guys for a loop.

It’s Yoongi that responds first, “She’s trending from a video back in May.”

“Oh, shit, really?” 

“Fucking boss. But yeah, none of us got that one right,” his friend responds, which leaves you intrigued. 

“Got it right?”

“Mmhmm. We picked her for gold.” Glancing over at Yoongi now crossing between to get to his fridge, he claps his back. “Even this guy bet wrong and he’s usually right.”

“Bet with my heart,” your secret drones as he cracks open a bottle. 

“We all did, bro.”

Fucking hell, that move was hotter than it should’ve been.

But now you’re kinda invested in what they’re all doing, so you ask how the whole thing works.

Which leads you to sitting in the living room with everyone three whole minutes later.

“So all of these are events, and I pick what I think happens?”

“Yup!”

“Good luck.”

“Choose quick, the next games start soon.”

Everyone’s eyes are on your paper as you look at the options, with some laughs and comments as you circle your choices.

“Mm, I dunno about that one.”

“Hey, hey, no help.”

You glance at your brother and Yoongi before laughing, “I have no idea what I’m doing but this is fun.”

Their amusement is noticeable.

“If you get any of those right, I’ll be surprised,” your sibling teases, earning a laugh from Yoongi and a counterpoint from Jimin,

“Dark horse?”

“Nah, no chance.”

Park’s shoulders raise as he smirks. “It's all luck, you never know..”

Huffing, you pretend to have confidence for days, just happy that you get to be involved and not hang back like the initial plan. “Yeah, I have masterclass intuition, don’t you know?” 

Reactions pop and fizz around you.

“Oh, yeah?”

“Master class, huh..”

“We have a hustler here!”

Your eyes drift to Yoongi’s at Shiv's comment, and you both share a quick, mirth-filled, intimate stare.

This really is a lot more fun already. 

Your phone buzzing is the one thing that interrupts, and you immediately feel relieved and saddened by the fact that you have to go.

Finishing up, you hand your brother your picks before standing, heading to the door and saying that you have to leave. 

“Wait, already?”

“Tell them you’re busy!”

“I kinda want to,” you admit, feeling a little shy at all the eyes on you. “But we’re watching a movie and tickets are stupid expensive now.”

Yoongi’s already next to you as he waits to let you out. “You okay to drive?”

“Me? Oh, yeah, I just had water.”

“K.”

Why does he have to be so considerate right now? Now you just wanna stay here instead of sit through whatever movie your friends picked!

“Be careful,” your brother comments from the living room, and you wave goodbye.

“I will. Y’all have fun!”

“Okay!”

Facing Yoongi, you wanna do so many things. Hug him, hold him, kiss the shit out of him for his exuding presence in the kitchen earlier. 

“Thanks for the food.”

But you obviously can’t.

So you settle for giving him a smile. “Thanks for letting me come over,” you decide to say. “Have fun tonight.”

You get a small lift of his lips in return. “You, too.”

“Yeah.. I’ll try.”

Hearing sounds from outside as you walk to your car, you feel the loneliest imaginable. 

But alas.

It’s still not your place to stay.

—

—

Much, much later, you check your phone after the movie ends and you’re all walking out. While the girls are busy discussing the movie and Taehyung's checking his phone, you're greeted with two very surprising keystrokes.

Yoongi [9:30pm]: :( 

He texted that so long ago. Did something happen?

You [10:34pm]: you ok?

All of you talk for just a little longer. When you finally get into your car, you wave goodbye at everyone before looking at your device again, wondering what the heck warranted this rogue of a text.

Yoongi [10:40pm]: Yeah

Yoongi [10:40pm]: Just miss you

Well, fuck.

Heart clenching, your fingers skirt across the screen.

You [10:45pm]: i miss you too.. i didn’t wanna leave😭

Yoongi [10:45pm]: You did though😔

There are plenty of people in the lot. Many people walking past as you wait in your car. 

And all you can do is stare at your screen. 

Is… Is he drunk?

Yoongi [10:46pm]: So now you have to make it up to me :) 

That catches you so off-guard you scoff at your screen through a smile. 

You [10:46pm]: don’t be a loser!! 

Yoongi [10:46pm]: I’m your loser 

Cheeks hurting from your shy as hell grin, you bite your lip to keep your screams from alerting people in the nearby theatre. 

How dare this man be this bold when your brother is over there! 

If he’s gonna keep this shocking behavior up, who are you to not play into it? You fucking miss him and imagining being there and being yourselves—your true selves—makes your chest clench. 

You [10:46pm]: not today you weren’t :\

And now you have to make the drive to a house that no one's occupying.

This is so hard. So, so hard. 

But you have to keep going until that one day comes. If it ever does. The day you can do whatever you want with the man you’d fight the universe for? No one will know how to react, and frankly you don’t give a shit about that.

And then you wonder.

Does Yoongi feel the same?

Yoongi [10:48pm]: They're still here

Yoongi [10:48pm]: You down to come back?

Oh.

You are.

Yes, yes, yes you are.

Grateful eyes shut, forehead hitting your steering wheel and heart hurting but still burning lovingly.

There’s no fighting how desperately you want to see him. Especially after seeing him so happy earlier today. Of course you’re going to go. You’d cross mountains even if that meant you’d only get to see him from afar. 

Because—and this you know for sure—he would do the same. 

...But that doesn't mean you won't prank him just a little bit.

You [10:49pm]: don't bet on it w ur heart again💕

Buzzing with excitement, you start your car and pull out of the lot, calling your brother and letting him know you’re coming back.

“K! You gonna bring food again?”

Normally, you would say fuck no and hang up. But you’re so elated you get to go back, and imagining Yoongi's shock makes you laugh. “Yeah, yeah, what do y’all want?” 

“Wait, really? Hey! What do we want for dinner—”

“Wait!” You interject, something pinging into your mind and igniting your curiosity. “How are my picks doing?” 

There’s a scuffle on the line, and you can hear your brother complain, Jimin laugh, and a very, very familiar voice answer from your brother’s phone. 

Because Yoongi’s voice drones so beautifully through the speaker, and you can’t stop your cackling when he responds, 

“Turns out Jimin was right.” 

“Damn, I'm the best,” you boast, earning a loud laugh from him and welcoming the way your cheeks hurt with open arms. “Show me that video you were talking about when I get there?”

This is safe to say. It's all you really can say.

There's a little bit of silence before he answers how he can, too.

“Yeah, I will.” 

Mm. Maybe Yoongi does feel the same.

“Nice," you whisper. Lips curved up in hope, you keep your voice neutral, “See you soon!” 

Again, he responds how he's supposed to. And right after, you both hang up exactly as expected.

For now.

“See you soon.” 

—

—

—

fin. :)

-

how did the second 717 drabble go! | join the discord hehe | three tangerines

a/n: love you love you love you. that's really all i can say. but also, here's the video of kim yeji being an absolute badass in may and i cannot stop thinking about her GAHHHHHH and now the guy from turkey?? hello?? this year is so fun and interesting istg!!

[chrissdollie]

can you imagine bakugou having a gf whos a teacher?? think of him having a girl who teaches kindergarten :( when he sees u teaching a student ab counting apples or something, his mind is going to be flooded with thoughts of having children with you. just watching you being so gentle nd sweet with the little brats munchkins turns his brain into mush.

one day, he pays a visit to your classroom wearing his hero costume for a requested q&a. everybody's in awe just looking at him, even if they don't know who he is. the students whisper to their friends at small desks as bakugou's large figure just struts in loll.

you give him a tiny little peck when he walks inside, to which some kids snicker and "ooohh". you clap your hands together to grab their attention. "okay boys and girls, let's walk over to the magic carpet for circle time!" you announce, leading your boyfriend to the large rug where two chairs were set.

the kids sit crisscrossed in a circle excitedly waiting to talk to the number two hero. bakugou grows shy as he sits down somewhat awkwardly. he feels silly, speaking to crowds ten times bigger than this on a daily basis was nothing, so what's the big deal? "today we have a special guest joining us for circle time! does anyone know who he is?" you grin toothily as many hands go up. "yes, ryu?" you pick on an adorable little boy in the center of the carpet. "that's mr. dynamite from the news!" he yelled.

"that's right, ryu! but let's use our inside voices, please." you smiled. "does anyone know what mr. dynamite does?" you questioned again. one little girl was squirming in her seat, hand held high. "go ahead, kanako." you nodded to the girl who sat up straighter upon being called on.

"he saves people, l/n-sensei!"

"damn right i do." bakugou smirked pridefully. you lightly nudged his shoulder. "no cursing." you whispered. he rolled his eyes but listened nonetheless. "okay, starting from this side of the rug," you pointed to the left. "you can ask anything you want to the hero, as long as you are kind. and if you don't have a question just say 'pass' and we'll go straight to the next person." you announced. all the children nodded in unison.

"start us off, please." you handed the 'talking mic' to the first kid. "mr. dynamite sir, where are your blasters?" he curiously turned his head to the side. "huh?-" bakugou looked down at his hands. "my gauntlets? left those guys at work. they're too powerful to be here." he answered.

the punks students continued to ask their questions and bakugou replied calmly like this was an everyday event. "you're big." a boy stated. bakugou quirked a brow. that's all this brat had to say? "i know." he replied nonchalantly. "why?" the kid blinked, keeping a straight face.

"uh, why?? i dunno, kid. jus' the way i am." he shrugged, not really knowing how to answer. the kid folded his arms and moved to sit on his knees. "it's my turn now.." a quiet girl next to him tapped on his shoulder, reaching out for the mic. the boy stuck out his tongue at her before turning away to look at bakugou again. "thas' not a real answer."

"kenji, that wasn't kind. you had your turn, now please give the mic to haru." you frowned. haru's eyes turned glossy and her lip began to quiver, but kenji still wasn't letting up. "thas' not fair, sensei!" kenji whined.

"hold it, kid." bakugou stepped in. kenji's attention turned to bakugou, an angry pout written all over his face. "ya ask me sum dumb question," he began. oh gosh, a dumb question? he's not wrong, but he can't say that to a 5 year old! "katsuki." you muttered, trying to get him to stop. but he kept going anyway.

"but i answered it, right? y'r not being a team player to y'r classmate, buddy." bakugou finished, waiting to see what would happen next. the room fell silent. kenji had listened, handed the microphone to haru. he was still upset though, everyone could see it.

"one minute, haru. kenji," you called out. the boy looked up with fat tears in his eyes. "is there something you want to say to your friend?" kenji wiped his eyes with the back of sleeve and mumbled "sorry." to haru. "is okay." haru accepted happily with a toothy grin.

bakugou leaned back in his chair, feeling satisfied with himself as the questions continued. huh, who knew right? you could get used to this.

when the period was over, bakugou waved goodbye to all the kids. however, he bent down in front of kenji and put his fist out. although the child was still somewhat annoyed, he couldn't hold in his grin as he fist bumped a pro hero. "let's all say 'thank you' to, mr. dynamite!" you stood up from your chair, folding your hands together.

"thank you, mr. dynamite!!"

bakugou kissed your cheek and walked to the door with you following behind. you opened the door and he adjusted his mask quickly. he ruffled your hair. "see ya at home, babe."

[tropes-and-tales]

Lieutenant Steal-Your-Girl, Part I

Day 8: Cuckolding (Bob Floyd x F!Reader; Jake Seresin x F!Reader)

(For the 2023 Kinktober event that I created on my own because I am boring and basic and am trying to keep it simple this year...found here!) 

CW:  Light angst (relationship woes); open relationships; cuckolding, but not really, I think I did this one wrong but got too deep to turn back; Jake is a bad boyfriend; smut (Oral, F!receiving; PiV, unprotected); 18+ only.

Word Count:  5536

AN:  This was requested for Kinktober by an anon! It is part of a larger mini-series, found here!

AN2: This might not be for everyone. People feel A Certain Way about open relationships, and this is very much a Reddit revenge version of that. Cuckolding? Maybe if you squint. I dunno. It got away from me and my original intention for this. Also, if you're a Jake fan, this won't be for you. Read at your own peril.

The sentence makes Bob Floyd short-circuit.  A question, in English, uttered by Jake with his smarmy grin, but it’s so incongruous, Bob’s mind cannot grasp it.

“You wanna fuck my girl, Baby on Board?”

Bob sputters at the question.  He feels his cheeks heat up as blood floods his face in a furious blush.  He wonders if it’s a joke, a put-on by the other pilots.  He glances around—to the piano where Rooster is perched, to the bar where Nat and Javi wait patiently for a fresh pitcher—and finds himself without backup.  It’s just him and Bagman by the pool tables. 

Bob can’t help but glance out the windows of the Hard Deck to see where you’re sitting.

Where you’re waiting patiently for Jake to rejoin you.  Where you often sit alone while Jake flirts with the local girls.  Where the other members of the Dagger Squad often sit with you, an apology of sorts, a paltry way of making up for your boyfriend’s inattention.  Where Bob, more than any other Dagger, often sits with you, distracts you from your wayward boyfriend, makes you laugh with his corny jokes. 

You explain to him one night how you and Jake are trying an open thing, an open relationship, a way of spicing up your long-term thing—but Bob hears the misery in your voice, and he sees the hurt look in your eyes when you see your boyfriend openly flirting with his next conquest—

Jake snapping his fingers brings Bob back to focus.  He opens his mouth, manages to answer Jake (“of course not, she’s your girl, Bagman”), but it’s the flimsiest of lies.  Bob knows it.  Jake knows it. 

Bob has wanted you from the moment he clapped his eyes on you.

-----

Another night, another moment where Bob finds himself alone with Jake.

The same question posed to him.  “You wanna fuck my girl, Bob?”

This time, Jake doesn’t let Bob sputter out a lie.  The man shakes his head, offers a rueful grin, then claps Bob on the back hard enough to nearly jolt him off his stool. 

“It isn’t an accusation,” Jake clarifies.  “It’s a question.  An offer.  You interested?”

Another lie when he stammers out, “no, I wouldn’t…I mean, I don’t think—”

Jake cuts him off with another hard clap on the back.  “Let’s take a walk, huh?  Me and you.  We’ll talk.”

-----

That’s the night Bob learns that his understanding of kinks is incomplete.  He always thought of kinks as things like role-playing or handcuffs or outrageous lingerie.  He never knew of cuckolding beyond, perhaps, a vague memory of reading the word in high school when they read Shakespeare in English class.

That’s the night Bob learns that beyond opening up your relationship, Jake has a thing for cuckolding.  It’s only theoretical; you haven’t slept with anyone but Jake, but Jake has taken full advantage of the open relationship and has had many lovers beyond you. 

And Jake finds the idea of you with another man intoxicating.  However, when he’s broached the subject with you, urged you to go out and find yourself a one-night stand, you’ve balked.

Hence, the need for Bob.

“She is comfortable with you,” Jake explains, and it sounds so commonplace, so everyday that he’s offering his girlfriend up as a potential one-night stand for his fellow Dagger.  “And I know you like her.”

Bob ends up declining.  Of course he likes you.  He’s wanted you for as long as he’s known you.  He lies awake at night, plagued by insomnia that has its origin in you. Evenings cheering you up at the Hard Deck haunt him—your sad eyes that always track Jake around the bar, but the way you laugh at Bob’s jokes, the way you chat with him earnestly about books and movies, about hiking trails you want to conquer, places you want to travel to.  You’re Bob’s dream girl but you’re taken, whether your relationship is open or not. 

Bob declines Jake’s offer.  Besides, it feels too close to a business deal, edging too close to something akin to sex work, albeit without money changing hands.  Jake and his smarmy grin feels too close to being a pimp.  Just two men making a deal about a woman without her input.

So Bob declines, but when you make a similar offer weeks later, that’s something else entirely.

-----

It happens at the Hard Deck.  You’re outside nursing a drink, separating yourself from where Jake chats up a local woman.  Bob sits beside you, and he tells you a story from when he was stationed in Pensacola, but you’re not really listening.

You cut him off halfway through his story, turn to face him.  Your eyes, usually so sad, have a fire in them he’s never seen before, and it pulls his up short, strikes him mute.

“Do you want to go out with me sometime?” you ask, and if Bob stammered his way through Jake’s offer, he doesn’t hesitate a single second when you ask.

“Yes,” he replies.  “Absolutely.”

-----

Bob has no idea what the rules are.  Jake made it sound like a tawdry hook-up, a late-night meeting with sex and nothing else.

You?  You ask him if he wants to go out with you, and Bob interprets that as a date night.  He gets your number, texts you throughout the week, and makes plans.

A proper date night.  Bob can’t tell if Jake knows or not.  He’s unclear if there’s a don’t-ask, don’t-tell policy in place, despite how open Jake seems to be with his own dalliances.  Bob keeps it hush-hush, and late Saturday afternoon, Bob finds himself at your apartment.

-----

Years later, Bob will be able to admit to himself:  this isn’t just a date for him. 

It’s an audition.  It’s a job interview.  It’s Lieutenant Robert Floyd doing his damnedest to show you that he’s a better bet than Jake. 

Bob sees how unhappy you are with Jake, how miserable you are to be in an open relationship you didn’t want.  It’s Bob trying to show you that Jake isn’t the only man in the world; that there are other proverbial fish in the proverbial sea, and that maybe another man (Bob, specifically) would cherish you, would love you, would never offer you up to other men.  Cuckolding isn’t Bob’s kink at all, so he misinterprets Jake’s insistence as guilt.  Jake must feel guilty, Bob reasons, and offering you up feels like a twisted version of atonement—a chance for you to explore other men.

It occurs to Bob that Jake chose him because he doesn’t feel threatened.  Bob Floyd—quiet Bob with his terrible, Navy-issued glasses, with his quiet voice and lack of braggadocio—is no threat to the handsome, cocky pilot.

Years later, it will only demonstrate:  Jake Seresin doesn’t know Bob Floyd at all, but more to the point—Jake Seresin doesn’t really know you.

*****

As far as first dates go, Bob knocks it out of the park.

Not that you have a lot of experience.  You’ve only ever had one first date—all the way back in sophomore year of high school—when Jake took you out to Sonic and then felt you up in the cab of his truck.

You try not to compare Adult Bob against Adolescent Jake.  It wouldn’t be fair.

It doesn’t stop you from comparing Adult Bob to Adult Jake, and the differences are stunning.

Bob greets you at your door with a bouquet of flowers, cheerful daises that nod their fat little heads as you invite him in to put them in water.  Bob does his usual Bob-stammer, a faint pink tinge to his cheeks as he tells you how beautiful you look.

When was the last time Jake got you flowers?  When was the last time Jake complimented your looks?

You often feel invisible with your boyfriend, and it’s always been that way.  Star running back Jake, hometown hero, dating the perfectly average, perfectly middle-of-the-road girl.  Jake with his good looks, his perfect smile, his perfect tan, his perfect muscles…and you. 

Jake’s idea of a date night is typically the Hard Deck, and since the two of you have opened up your relationship, date night has ceded to hunting for new prospects.  You dread it every time; you sit outside and listen to the ceaseless roll of the waves, and you wait with a sick feeling in the pit of your stomach to see if you’ll go home alone or if your boyfriend will turn up at last call, disappointed to have struck out, disappointed to go home to boring old you.

You are desperately unhappy.  Your emotions veer wildly.  You swing between extremes:  manic periods where you work out, get your hair styled, where you scrub and polish and pluck yourself as near to perfect as you can get.  Depressive periods where you can barely summon the strength to shower, ground down by the thought of your boyfriend fucking other women.

You know you should end it.  When Jake sat you down all those months ago, your stomach had fluttered with butterflies.  This is it, you thought.  He’s going to ask me to marry him.  You’d waited so long, patient and unswerving in your devotion.  Through college and flight school, bouncing around in his wake as his assignments and deployments dictated.

Instead, Jake told you he was bored.  That he read up on it, and he thought opening the relationship would be good for him.  For you, too.

“As long as we always come home to each other, I don’t see it as a bad thing,” he had told you, and you—always invisible, always trailing behind him like a lost puppy—had hated yourself when you nodded in agreement.

-----

Bob takes you first to an independent bookstore, a tucked-away little gem, and you realize immediately that he isn’t playing fair.  When you tell him so, shaking your forefinger with a mock-frown, he only gives you his soft Bob Floyd smile.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” he claims, and he holds his palms up in surrender.  “We just have a little time to kill before our reservations.”

Bad enough he’s brought you here.  The two of you talk books all the time, and it’s a thoughtful date idea.  But what makes it worse is when he sidles up to you as you read the book jacket of a new release and says, low near your ear, “get whatever you want.  My treat.”

It’s the moment the bottom falls out for you.  It’s like you’ve been wading around in the shallow end of the pool, and Bob’s sweet date paired with Bob’s surprisingly low, grumbling voice near your ear is your foot slipping into the deep end.  You find yourself treading water.  You find yourself fighting off the panicky urge to flail.

-----

Dinner is at a restaurant overlooking the ocean, and you wonder if Bob timed it so that you’d be there during sunset.

You suspect he did.  You’re starting to suspect that this isn’t just some prelude to fucking, the crude reality of this open relationship you and Jake are doing, the cuckolding fetish that Jake seems to have.  Bob could have just invited you over to his place, but he’s planned such a lovely first date.

You are out of your depth, but when the panic starts to grip you, you only look across the table to see Bob:  his bright blue eyes, his gentle smile, the tips of his ears pink underneath the soft wave of his hair.  You look at him and it feels natural, and the panic ebbs away but it’s replaced by something else.

Doubt.  This date with Bob is a crack in the foundation of your relationship with Jake.  A tiny little trickle of doubt slips through.

Why does this feel so easy, you think as you pick at your meal.  Why does this feel so easy but everything with Jake feels so fraught?

It feels easy because Bob talks to you, not at you.  He’s endlessly curious about you:  your history, your likes, your dislikes.  What your job is like, what your childhood was like.  Where you see yourself in five years, in ten, in twenty?  Do you like the country or the city?  The ocean or the mountains?  Do you like dogs or cats or both?  What’s your favorite book, what’s the last movie you saw? 

Jakes doesn’t ask you those questions, and you half-convince yourself that it’s because you’ve been together for so long.  Jake knows everything there is to know about you.

But you know that’s not true.  Bob pays for dinner, then takes your hand in his.  He walks you to a nearby gelato place for dessert, and it’s nearly perfect.  This second first date with Bob Floyd while your boyfriend is out doing god know what (or who). 

It’s nearly perfect but not entirely because you admit to yourself that Jake doesn’t know everything about you at all.  He’s never asked what you’re reading, who your favorite author is, and it hits you suddenly that Bob—who you’ve known for a handful of months, if that—might know parts of you better than your boyfriend.

At Bob’s truck, he puts the key in the ignition but doesn’t turn it yet.  He turns to face you, and his face is a furious red.  He’s blushing, you realize.  Something is making him blush.

“Take you home?” he asks, and his voice has a strange tension in it that you’ve never heard before.  You think of this date, all the effort he put into it to make it perfect.  You think of all the times he’s kept you company at the Hard Deck, how sometimes he sits in front of you, makes his body block your line of sight so you can’t see Jake leaning in on some girl who is prettier than you, more adventuresome than you—

“No.”  You shake your head, then smile at Bob.  You don’t care about Jake and his stupid cuckolding kink; you’ve been on a low-simmer of growing desire ever since the bookshop when Bob leaned in and growled in your ear.  You want Bob for Bob’s own sake.

 “Take me to your place,” you say.

*****

It’s a dangerous thing, how Jake never once crosses Bob’s mind once he gets you to his apartment.  Bob forgets the reality of this situation:  that you’re taken, that this is a one-time thing, that it’s actually feeding into Jake’s kink, not yours or Bob’s.

Bob forgets all of that.  He’s only focused on you:  lovely, perfect you.  The best date he’s ever been on, and Bob feels like a million bucks at how surprised you’d been with each part of it.  The way your face lit up at the flowers, at his compliments.  The squeal of surprise at the book store, the shy way you only chose one book for him to buy you—he would have bought you the whole store if you’d asked.  The content sigh each time you looked at the sun setting over the ocean, and how natural it felt to hold your hand as he walked you back to his truck.

Bob doesn’t think of Jake until afterwards, and it’s dangerous because Bob instead thinks about second dates, third dates.  He forgets that you’re spoken for, and instead he spins out an entire future where he meets your family and you meet his, where he cleans off a shelf in his bathroom for you, where the two of you move in together…

Who could blame him, though?  Once he gets you inside his apartment, he turns to ask if you want a drink, but you’re right there, standing so close to him that he can see the little amber flecks in your eyes and the question is only halfway out of his mouth when you kiss him.

Of course Bob doesn’t think of Jake.  He’s wanted you since he first saw you, and here you finally are:  your hands on him, holding him steady as you press your lips to his, as you bump against his glasses and knock them askew, then break the kiss to gently reach up and set them right again.

“Sorry,” you mumble, and Bob doesn’t link your sudden reticence—you avoid his eyeline—to Jake.  He doesn’t make the connection between your bashful expression and how you’ve only ever kissed Jake, slept with Jake, and how monumental this all must feel.

“Don’t apologize.”  Bob cups his hands on your bare shoulders, pulls you in for a hug.  “Nothin’ to be sorry for.”

“I’m not very good at this.”  It comes out muffled, your face pressed against his shoulder.

Bob has always guessed that your rocky relationship with Jake has shaken your confidence, but he doesn’t think of that now.  He only feels you sigh against him, embarrassed, so he pushes you away gently, touches his forehead to yours.

“You’re fine,” he assures you.  “You’re perfect.”  Then he leans in, kisses you this time, and when his glasses get knocked off-kilter again, he just takes them off, folds them into his pocket, then leads you into his bedroom.

*****

You’ve spent a lot of time on the internet researching cuckolding as a kink, and you had settled on the belief that Jake was into it because he was turned on by the idea of another man using you.

Or maybe he just feels guilty that he’s the only one taking advantage of the open relationship.

Who can say?  When you try to talk about it, Jake brushes you off, tells you not to worry about it too much, so you never are quite clear on what motivates the man you thought you’d marry one day.

But as far as being used goes, nothing about your dalliance with Bob says used:  the man worships you.  He kneels in front of your body like a penitent, and his hands are so gentle, his voice so soft as he asks permission every step of the way.

“Can I kiss you here?”

“Can I touch you here?”

Is this okay?  Does this feel good?  Tell me what you like.  Tell me what you need.  I’ll do anything.  Let me make you feel good.

Is this what Jake wanted—a change from the usual?  Because being with Bob feels like a revelation:  you’ve never been loved like this.  He kisses his way down your naked body, then reverses course until he’s between your legs, his broad shoulders holding your thighs open.  His mouth on you, the shy little swipes of his tongue until he gets a taste of you—then he devours you like a starved man, completely unabashed at the groans leaving him, at the way he grinds into the bedding at how turned on he is to feast on you.

You open your mouth to tell him not to bother, that you’ve never come from oral alone, but then you feel how your body is responding, the answering arousal to Bob’s skilled tongue, and when he slides a finger inside you, you’re reminded of that too-deep feeling from earlier.

But instead of feeling panicky, you feel a sharp throb of arousal.  You aren’t afraid of being in too deep now.  You aren’t straining to return to shore. 

You want to be swept out to sea, and you want Bob to be the one to do it.  When your orgasm approaches, you reach down and tangle your fingers in Bob’s hair—it’s as soft as it looks, just as silky—and Bob looses a groan that vibrates up from your pussy to the very top of your head.  He reaches up and holds your hand against his head, mumbles against you to use him, to grind against him, so you do.  You lift your hips and press against his mouth, feel the bump of his nose against your clit, and you realize that you’re about to come from oral for the first time in your life and that it’s not your boyfriend who’s done it.

When you come against Bob’s mouth, every single thought of Jake is erased from your head, and you won’t think of him again afterwards.

*****

Bob takes a long beat to get control of himself.  He was dangerously close to coming as he ate you out, and he waits for his own orgasm to fade into the background before he continues.

Instead, he props himself on one elbow and just watches you.  If you looked beautiful before, you look even more so now:  all of the tension is gone from your face, and blink up at him sleepily, dreamily.  Your smile is lazy, and when you sigh, it’s nothing but content.

“Good?” he asks, grinning down at you.

You nod, just as lazy as your smile.  “The best.”  You purse your lips, pout up at him.  “Kiss me?”

How can he resist?  He leans down to kiss you, and you wrap your arm around his shoulders, pull him closer to you.  Eating you out has relaxed you, banished whatever doubts you had from earlier, and you kiss him now with a passion he’s never experienced before:  you part your lips, you slide your tongue into his mouth, you lick against him.  You must taste yourself on him because you make the cutest damned whimper, and it goes straight to his dick, hearing how undone you are.

Then you do this cute little wriggling move underneath him, and Bob’s body moves independently of his brain:  he slots himself between your thighs, slick from his earlier attention, and his erection bumps against your hip, your belly before you reach down and guide him to where you want him most.

Bob breaks the kiss long enough to mumble his question about protection, and it won’t occur to him until much later—what it means when you say you’re on birth control but also that you’re clean, that there’s no risk.

It won’t occur to Bob until later, what it means for you to say you’re clean.  It won’t occur to him that you’re in a committed relationship, that your boyfriend has regular hookups but you remain STD-free since your last checkup.

It’ll hit Bob in the middle of his workday at Miramar, what you are telling him now:  that your bedroom with Jake is dead and has been for a while, and that this moment with Bob is the first time you’ve had sex in months.

He’ll realize that later.  Now, there’s only the feeling of your pussy—warm, wet, perfect—as he pushes into you.  There’s only the sound of your sharp inhale, your whine as you tell him to go slow, to be gentle, but you don’t need to tell him that.  He’d never hurt you, and he can feel how tight you are, so he goes slow.  He works himself into you carefully, watches your face for any sign of pain. 

He sees none.  He goes so slowly that he only sees your expression go from worried to stunned:  the lines in your brow smooth out and your lips part as you gaze up at him, a perfect oh of surprise. 

When he’s fully seated in you, buried in the silky depths of your pussy, Bob stills—and he realizes that you are trembling underneath him.

“Honey,” he breathes out, the sweet nickname falling from his mouth without thought.  “You okay?  You want me to—”

“No.”  You cut him off, gift him with a shaky smile.  “Stay with me, okay?  Just stay with me a minute.”

“’Course.”  He leans down, bumps his nose against yours until your smile firms up, seems steadier.  “Wouldn’t want to be anywhere else.”

Bob only moves enough to settle more of his weight on you, and then he takes the time to kiss you:  he trails featherlight kisses across your face, your forehead, your flushed cheeks.  He kisses the tip of your nose—it pulls a giggle from you, and the sound makes him smile.  He kisses along your jaw.  He dips his head near your ear, whispers how gorgeous you are, how good you feel, how he’d happily stay like this forever.  He doesn’t miss the little shudder you give at his praise.

Bob doesn’t realize that he’s shifted your worldview entirely.  Just this simple liaison—not even complete, and nothing extreme—has rearranged everything you thought you knew.  You aren’t actively thinking of Jake at all—he’s been banished until afterwards—but you’re considering the balance of your entire erotic history against this single moment with Bob.

You’re realizing that sex can be so much more than just an act…and with Bob, a man you haven’t known that long.

You eventually stop trembling.  Bob feels it when you relax; the tight clench of your cunt slackens a bit.  He feels your hands on him, shy at first and then bolder as you run your warm palms over the planes of his back, along his shoulders and arms.  As you thread your fingers through his hair, comb out the tangles there.  As you rest your palm along the back of his head and lead his face back to yours.

“Thank you.”  You whisper it, and your eyes are wide.  Earnest.  Bob isn’t sure what you’re thanking him for, so he just kisses you again.

“I’m ready,” you mumble against his searching lips.

“You sure?”

A nod, a purposeful roll of your hips that makes Bob see stars, makes the edges of his vision turn hazy with desire. 

“Take me, Bob,” you tell him, and he’s never heard you so assured.  “I’m yours.”

So he does.  He takes you in small movements, focused on your pleasure.  He is used to sitting in the backseat of a billion dollar plane, all those systems to keep track of, so focusing on you is an easy, wondrous thing:  the expression on your face, the moans he manages to pull from you.  The way your eyes flutter shut or roll back or fix on him like he’s responsible for setting the sun in the sky.  The way your hands touch him or hold him, sometimes soft and stroking, sometimes clinging to him like he’s your life preserver.  The way your cunt feels, slick and warm and gripping him, obscenely wet as he fucks into you harder, the sound of skin on skin, the heady scent of sex filling his room, and he hopes it lingers for days afterwards, he wants the moment to never end.

He focuses on your pleasure as it rises, crests around you:  the way you tighten up, bear down harder on him until he loses some of his rhythm.  He reaches a shaky hand down to touch you there, the slick, swollen place where he disappears into the confines of your body, and he rubs a tight circle against you.  He begs you to come for him; he’s so close, he feels his balls tightening against his body, and he needs you to come for him first, needs to feel you before—

When you come, you say his name.  You breathe it out, a hot pant against his ear, and Bob is grateful for it because it pushes him over the edge.  He groans out your name too, chokes out a curse, and you come together—your pussy pulsing around him as he buries himself in you, comes inside you.

Marks you as his.

-----

Afterwards, Bob remembers Jake and feels a sting of conscience—but not enough to send you home.  That had been integral to the cuckolding thing, Bob sending you home thoroughly fucked, to sleep beside Jake, for Jake to know you’d been with another man and to be turned on by it.

A mean little part of Bob wants to.  He wants to send you home satisfied, his cum dripping out of you.  Part of him sees the allure of it from his side; Jake doesn’t consider Bob a threat, so it’d hit the smug bastard hard to see you satisfied, happy from your dalliance with the back-seater.

But Bob doesn’t give a shit about Jake.  Not when you’re sitting in his bed with the sheets wrapped around you, uncertain all of a sudden, and Bob kisses you on the forehead and tells you to stay.

“Just stay the night,” he says.  “Please.  I’d love for you to stay.”

He sees the doubt on your face.  He knows you’re thinking of Jake, and Bob feels a flare of something—anger, protectiveness, whatever.  It gives him the courage to speak up.  He takes your hand in his, settles on the bed beside you.

“Honey, is this even what you wanted?  I had a fun time with you, but would you have asked me out if Jake hadn’t wanted it?”

Your expression turns from uncertain to surprise in an instant.  “No!  I mean, I asked you out because I like you.  And because I’m in an open thing.  I thought…”  You trail off, stare at him as you try to assemble your words.  “Did you only agree to take me about because of Jake?”

Bob shakes his head.  “No.  I took you out because I wanted to.  I brought you here because I want you.”

Your surprise turns to a shy smile.  “Really?”

He squeezes your hand.  “Really.”

Your smile fades away by degrees, and your eyes shine with unshed tears.  “I never wanted any of this, you know.  I…I wanted to get married, have kids, all that, but he…”  You sigh, drop your head.  “I don’t like the open relationship.  It makes me feel like I’m not enough, you know?”

“Honey—”

“Like if I were better somehow, he wouldn’t have to go out and find other women—”

“Hey, no, don’t—”

“Like, what is wrong with me?  Why aren’t I enough? Why—”

“Stop.”  Bob places a finger over your mouth to silence you.  He hates all this doubt, hates how little you think of yourself, so he stills your words.  “You’re enough,” he tells you.  “Hell, honey, you’re everything.”

You blink at him, surprised.  The shimmering tears shake loose, start to course down your cheeks, and Bob pulls you to him, holds you as you cry.  He wraps you in his arms as you sob against him, gasp out that you don’t know what to do, that you’ve felt lost for months now—

“You don’t have to do anything tonight,” he murmurs against your head.  “You just need a good night’s rest.  That’s all you need to do tonight.”

Your tears taper off.  You push away from him gently and swipe at where your tears have made his bare chest wet.

“Stop being so wise, Lieutenant,” you grumble, but there’s a teasing quality there that makes Bob smile.  You sniffle and glance up at him, and he’s struck how beautiful you are even with swollen, teary eyes.

Maybe you’ve rearranged his world too.

No, there’s no maybe to it.  You’ve definitely rearranged his world.

“Stay with me tonight,” he says, and he keeps his voice low and even, tries to keep the excitement out of it.  He can sense that a sea-change is coming, and he doesn’t want to jinx it.

“Stay tonight,” he repeats.  “Things are always clearer in the morning, I find.”

So you do.  You nod at him, and you wave off his offers to get you clothes to sleep in.  The two of you fall asleep in record time—the cure for Bob’s you-induced insomnia is you, both the cause and the cure, your warm, naked body curled up alongside him as he fades into sleep. 

And you were right:  Bob is wise.  You’ll wake in the morning to an empty bed, a room full of sunlight, the lingering scent of sex.  You’ll pad out into Bob’s kitchen and find the man putting the finishing touches on breakfast, and you’ll let him feed you before you let him fuck you again—this time on his kitchen counter, the room full of light so you can see the blatant love in his expression as he claims you again.  And then a third time, together in the shower, a slow moment so full of feeling that you’ll cry when you come, and Bob will hold you, will choke back words as he comes too, and you’ll wonder later why those bitten-back words sound so much like I love you.

And then you’ll let Bob drive you home where Jake will be waiting for you.  His smug smile will fall as you breeze past him, his cuckolding fantasy falling apart in front of him because he was the only one turned on by it, the only one turned on by opening your relationship.  Jake will realize too late that he only opened the door for someone else to come and steal you away, and that the thief will be Robert Floyd, who taught you that love should never be such a fraught, painful thing, and that you may not be enough for Jake, but for the right man, you are everything.

[anyon-else]

spiked w/ kaeya alberich, zhongli, xaio – main masterlist

warnings (please read!) | gn!reader, angst, hurt/comfort, non-consensual drug use, implied attempted sexual assault (barely, but i wanted to add it just in case)

KAEYA ALBERICH

kaeya was not one for quiet nights.

he much preferred the white noise and chatter of the tavern to his own lodgings. even after he began seeing you, spending nights with you at his side on a barstool remained his favorite activity. he loved to watch your easy confidence as you chatted with jean or charles, or even diluc for that matter. he just enjoyed listening to your lovely voice over the background conversation of the other patrons.

but there were some nights when kaeya wished he had elected to stay home.

there was a new bartender working tonight. kaeya had seen him a few times, and charles didn't seem particularly bothered by him despite the subpar drinks he made, but kaeya couldn't help his inherent distrust of any newcomer. it always took him a bit of time to get used to an unfamiliar face settling in mondstadt as a permanent resident, and from what kaeya had heard, this one had made his intention to stay in the city for the foreseeable future very clear.

the night, while young, was already wearing him thin. he'd just gotten back from a days-long commission that jean had requested he take on personally. it had been a grueling week, and the only thing he wanted to do when he returned was take you to the angel's share for a few drinks, then take you to bed.

you never elected to drink very much when you accompanied kaeya to the tavern. you'd usually nurse a glass or two of wine, and oftentimes you'd leave without finishing a third.

tonight, you had barely started sipping your second glass when you began looking fairly ill. at the moment, you were slumped against kaeya's shoulder, struggling to keep your eyes open or form a coherent sentence.

"darling?" kaeya asked when your strength seemingly left you. you went limp, and had you not already been leaning on his shoulder, you probably would have fallen off of the barestool. kaeya caught you with an arm around your waist and another holding your shoulder. you muttered something unintelligible and groaned when kaeya shifted so he could look at you. he lifted your face, and gave your cheek a light tap when your eyes began to flutter shut. "can you open your eyes, love?"

"'m tired," you mumbled. kaeya furrowed his brow; he was certain you'd only had one drink since you'd arrived.

he caught charles' concerned gaze from across the bar, but before either of them could speak, the newcomer was stepping forward nervously.

"i can take them to the back," he said to kaeya, eyeing you briefly, "there's a couch."

kaeya raised a brow at the suggestion. from the corner of his eye, he saw charles wince.

"i'll take them," kaeya corrected firmly, scrutinizing the man further when he saw disappointment flicker across his expression.

"r-right. of course. it's just back–"

"i know where it is," kaeya snapped, abruptly standing from his chair and sliding his arms under your pliant body. concern was thrumming through him, and he immediately forgot about the bartender shuffling behind him when you shifted and let out another string of mutters.

"talk to me, love," he muttered as you peeled your eyes open, "how are you feeling?"

"bad," you grumbled. kaeya hummed, pursing his lips and walking as steadily as he could manage.

"was it something you ate?"

"dunno," you said, already fading again. kaeya cursed when your eyes fell shut and you went limp, head resting against his chest and arm hanging uselessly to your side.

kaeya laid you on the couch in the back room that charles had set up for employees. you didn't stir as his arms left you, though he saw your brow furrow when he let you go. he elected to take one of your hands in his as he thought through the events of the night to try and pin down the cause of your mysterious illness.

it was then he realized that the new bartender had followed him all the way down the hall and was waiting nervously in the doorway. he shifted uncomfortably under kaeya's sharp gaze.

"what are you still doing here?"

"i...i apologize, i just wanted to make sure everything was alright–"

"while your concern is very touching," kaeya sneered, suspicion growing each time the man's eyes left his and strayed to where you were laying behind him. kaeya shifted so that your face wasn't in the man's view, "i can handle things."

kaeya saw a touch of annoyance cross the man's features, and the alarm bells already ringing in his head became more frantic.

"unless," kaeya rumbled as he stood, reluctantly dropping your hand so that he could approach the man, "you know something about this."

"oh! uh...no, i'm not sure what happened. i just noticed that they looked rather sick."

kaeya hummed, scrutinizing the man for a moment longer before nodding his head towards the door behind him.

"you can go, then," he said with finality.

"right," the man nodded, eyes wide as he took in kaeya intimidating aura, "o-of course."

kaeya didn't watch the newcomer scurry away. instead, he turned back to where you were beginning to rouse again. he heard a string of words escape you, only catching his own name every few seconds until he was kneeling next to you, one hand reaching to find your own as the other cupped your cheek.

"kaeya," you huffed, breathing sporadic and so panicked that it made kaeya's chest ache, "what's happ'ning?"

"i don't know, darling," kaeya told you truthfully. you groaned, bringing a hand to shield your eyes from the light in the room and turning on your side, pressing your face into the pillows. "i'm sorry. we'll get you feeling better soon, alright?"

"that wine," you mumbled, voice muffled by the pillow and barely audible over the distant chatter of the tavern, "it was...really strong."

that gave kaeya pause. he distinctly remembered the new bartender pouring your wine, then turning towards the opposite counter where kaeya couldn't see what he was doing.

he couldn't imagine that anyone would...

"charles!" he shouted as soon as he puts the pieces together, rage clouding his mind as he thought back to the suspicious behavior, the attempts to stay in the room with you, and kaeya's own gut feeling that something was off about the newcomer.

the only thing that kept him from going back to the bar and wringing the man's neck was your hand holding his. he couldn't leave you alone now—not with that criminal still roaming god-knows-where.

"don' leave," you muttered, making a desperate attempt to sit up and grab onto kaeya's arm. he shook his head, placing careful hands on your shoulders and guiding you onto your back. you were looking up at him with bloodshot eyes, and the fear in them made his chest ache.

"i'm not," he shook his head, taking your hand in both of his and giving it a reassuring squeeze, "don't worry, love. i'm not leaving."

kaeya's chest tightened when your breath hitched, a silent sob rocking your chest. you were terrified—that much was strikingly clear. your eyes were scrunched shut, and if your pained expression was anything to go by, you had a raging headache brought on by whatever it was that you had drank.

kaeya couldn't watch for much longer before he was lifting you up and replacing you on the couch, then setting you down with your head on his lap. you pressed closer to him, head resting on his thigh and fingers gripping his jacket.

"what happened?"

kaeya stiffened at diluc's familiar voice. he looked down at you and focused on the rise and fall of your chest to keep himself from getting too upset over his brother's untimely arrival.

"that new bartender," kaeya grumbled, "he made their drink tonight. i think they mixed it with something."

there was a silence, and kaeya finally chanced a glance at diluc. he was watching you with a furrowed brow, hands clenched into fists and jaw grinding back and forth in the only show of anger that kaeya could see.

"is the drink still at the bar?"

"it should be."

"i'll take it to timeus on my way to the knight's headquarters."

kaeya looked up in surprise, but diluc looked away, very intentionally avoiding his eyes.

"i'll take the bartender to jean. i trust she can keep him in check in a far more legal manner than i would."

diluc breathed in deeply, closing his eyes for a moment. when he opened them again, he looked far more intense than before, and he looked at kaeya with a seriousness that was rarely shared between the two.

"it's my responsibility to know who is being hired at my establishments. i apologize for being so negligent."

kaeya blinked, opening his mouth to reassure him that the only one at fault was the scum who did this, but diluc held a hand up to stop him.

"just make sure they're taken care of," diluc said, glancing down at you once more with a furrowed brow that almost made him look worried, "i'll handle the rest."

kaeya gave a single nod, knowing that any gratitude could go unsaid. he also knew that this sudden show of kindness was less for him and more for you—diluc had always been fond of you, claiming that you made kaeya more pleasant to be around.

while the comment had irked him when it was made, he couldn't exactly disagree.

"'m sorry," you groaned when diluc was gone, sniffling and trying desperately to keep your tears at bay. kaeya's expression twisted, his hand stilling where it had been rubbing soothing circles on your arm.

"sorry?" he repeated, "love, what could you possible have to be sorry for?"

"for inconveniencing diliuc," you huffed, "and making you worry."

kaeya sighed, shaking his head at the guilty look on your face and cupping your face in his hands.

"we just want to make sure you're okay," he whispered, lifting your hand and pressing his lips to your fingers, "none of this is your fault, my love."

you grumbled something that sounded like a disagreement, but let the argument go when your headache returned.

"am i gonna be okay?" you croaked, eyes filling with panic as you thought about the possibilities of what could've been put in your drink. sure, you'd heard about people's drinks getting tampered with before, but it could've been something more deadly. maybe this was a murder attempt to get at kaeya. maybe you had unintentionally made someone so angry that they'd hired this bartender to kill you. maybe–

"you're going to be just fine," kaeya assured you, hands cupping your face so that you were forced to look at him, "it's nothing to worry about. i've seen this happen a few times. you'll just wake up with a nasty headache, but i'll take care of you, yeah?"

"yeah," you agreed, feeling any energy you'd been using to panic seep from you as you sank into kaeya's arms.

as kaeya carried you home later that night, he thought about all of the things that he could do to make that bartender's life a living hell. the ideas he came up with brought him some satisfaction, and he found that he was more excited than he had been in a long time to get to work the next day.

ZHONGLI

zhongli had been alive for many, many years. enough years that he had seen the cruelties that others were capable of. he understood that preventative measures were necessary to keep oneself safe, but he was also painfully aware that those protections were not always enough. those with bad intentions usually found a way around any safeguards no matter how carefully they were designed.

in you, he saw a very careful person. you were well aware of the dangers of the world—though perhaps not to the extent of someone who had fought in wars and survived to tell the tales. you were, however, cautious enough that he knew you were a very capable person.

but despite his experience, this was a first.

you weren't one to drink yourself into a state of incapacitation, so zhongli couldn't deny his growing concern as you stumbled towards him, eyes lidded and legs shaky. you stumbled towards him, struggling to keep yourself from falling with each step. he met you before you could fall, accepting your outstretched arms and pulling you into his chest.

the first thing he noticed upon catching you was that you were shaking. he tried to move away so that he could look at you, but your grip was firm. you were holding him so tightly, like you were afraid of letting him go and facing whatever had frightened you so much.

"y/n?" he asked softly, resting a hand on the small of your back just under your shirt and rubbing soothing circles over your skin. he felt some of the tension loosen from your shoulders and hugged you closer, "darling, what happened?"

the answer appeared behind him before you could even attempt to answer. he felt a tap on shoulder, impatient and insistent. zhongli turned carefully, making sure to keep you steady as he faced the interruption with equal levels of impatience.

"yes?"

"ah, this is a bit awkward," the man chuckled, attention not on zhongli, but rather on you huddled in his arms. zhongli's eyes narrowed on the stranger, and he pulled you tighter against his chest, keeping your face pressed into his clothes to keep it out of the man's sight.

"do tell me what you find so awkward about the situation," zhongli said darkly, "or better yet, tell me why you're even speaking to me in the first place."

the man gulped, finally looking up and meeting zhongli's glare. it must have been the first time he really registered the person holding you, because his eyes widened a fraction and he began spitting out excuse after excuse, each sounding more desperate than the last.

"y'see, my friend has had a few too many drinks tonight. i apologize that they stumbled into you like that–"

"your friend," zhongli huffed, an irritated laugh bubbling in his throat, "ah, well, it's a good thing you've come to their rescue, then."

the man, who zhongli now knew was denser than stone, grinned at this and began reaching towards you eagerly.

"may i ask you what their name is?"

this made him pause.

"well...i don't think they'd appreciate me giving that information out to a stranger-"

"oh, of course," zhongli nodded, "how noble of you."

"right," the man gave him an odd look, but continued reaching towards you, "if you could just–"

if there was one thing that zhongli appreciate about his human form, it was its agility.

he swept you to the side, keeping one arm firmly around your waist while the other grabbed hold of the man's wrist. he only got a glimpse of the stranger's wide, terrified eyes before he twisted the his arm just shy of breaking. the man let out quick, panicked huffs as he looked between zhongli's hard expression and the hand gripping his wrist.

"a-alright, i get it," the man gulped, making a feeble attempt to pull away, "i'll go–ow, i'm sorry! i didn't know–"

"didn't know what?" zhongli asked venomously, false smiles and politeness wiped from his expression. his harsh tone made the man visibly shudder, "that it's not acceptable to try to kidnap people? what made you so ignorant that you couldn't comprehend that that is a crime?"

"i wasn't...listen, i'm sorry, okay? i won't do it again, just let me go. please."

zhongli was very close to breaking the man's wrist, eyes nearly glowing as they narrowed on the man's terrified eyes. however, he paused when you shifted, coughing weakly into his chest.

"zhongli," you croaked, "i think he did something to my drink."

zhongli's fingers tightened around the man's wrist, earning a terrified squeak from him as he tried to pull back in one last, desperate attempt to get away.

"well?" he asked the terrified man sharply, "did you?"

"o-of course i didn't! i just...i didn't know you were together, alright? i just saw that they looked ill, and thought i'd help–"

"your help is neither wanted nor needed," zhongli said with a sharp smile that made the man's face go white. zhongli knew he could be more than menacing at the right times, "xiao."

the adeptus appeared at his side immediately, making the already nervous man jump in fear. the man watched with wide-eyes as xiao approached zhongli. xiao payed no mind to the man trembling in zhongli's grip. he did, however, take note of your barely-conscious body slumped against zhongli. you were staring blankly at something behind xiao, and the adeptus tried to keep himself calm for your sake.

"please watch him until i return."

xiao gave a single nod, gripping the man's shirt and dragging him to a more secluded area of the market. zhongli wrapped his arm further around your waist, pulling you in close before he disappeared from the streets of the harbor.

baizhu did not looked particularly alarmed when zhongli appeared in the middle of the pharmacy, though his eyes widened just slightly when he spotted you in the ex-god's arms.

"come with me," baizhu ordered immediately, turning and moving further into the pharmacy. he entered a room with zhongli at his heels and pointed towards a long table, "put them there."

zhongli did as he was told, brow furrowed in clear concern as he brushed a hand over your cheek. you seemed to be conscious, but barely lucid as you leaned into zhongli's palm.

"what happened," baizhu asked, leaning over you and opening one of your eyes wider to look at your pupil.

"i believe they were given some kind of drug. i don't know what."

"that would explain these symptoms," baizhu murmured, placing a hand on your chest and closing his eyes. his palm began to glow a bright green, and zhongli watched as changsheng slid down the doctor's arm until she was resting on your stomach. after another moment, the glow dissipated.

"i can't tell the exact substance that was used, but it's nothing deadly. they'll just need to rest. it will be out of their system by tomorrow night at the latest."

zhongli nearly collapsed as relief rushed through him. he took your hand and pressed it to his lips carefully, closing his eyes so he could focus on calming his racing heart.

"if it's not too much trouble," zhongli began as baizhu stepped back from the table, allowing changsheng to take her place upon his shoulders again, "could you look after them for a moment? i've left someone waiting."

baizhu huffed, a smirk crossing his lips at the zhongli's sugarcoated words.

"please do. rest assured, they'll be looked after here," baizhu told him slyly, waving a hand towards the door, "and don't bother bringing me any more patients when you're finished. i'm afraid i'm stretched quite thin with just the one."

as zhongli disppeared towards he harbor, baizhu almost pitied the poor man who had put you in such a state. almost.

XIAO

xiao had never enjoyed human celebrations.

he knew that they were important to you, but he just didn't have the patience for them. they always dragged on for so long. sure, he was immortal, but he still appreciated concision.

and the crowds. just thinking about trying to shove his way through a mass of humans made his skin crawl. he'd watched you do it enough times that he knew he would be content to never experience it for himself.

so he was satisfied watching you from afar. he liked seeing you enjoy yourself, even if he wasn't necessarily keen on the types of events that you chose to dedicate your time to.

however, it was neither his place nor his desire to tell you how to spend your time. while he would've been more than happy to just lay with you under the stars, he knew how much you enjoyed spending time with your friends at these little soirees.

but humans were just so fragile. he knew you wouldn't blame him for wanting to keep a watchful eye out.

it was foggy, but that did little to impede his vision as he watched over you from the balcony of wangshu inn. tonight's event had gathered a fairly large crowd to the courtyard outside of the inn, but xiao was careful to make sure he didn't lose sight of you in the depths of the crowd.

in the back of his mind, he heard zhongli's scolding voice telling him that he shouldn't hover, but he waved it away. he was not hovering. he was simply...observing. there was nothing wrong with wanting to keep an eye on humans whose intentions and judgment he didn't trust. he probably would've been here whether you decided to attend or not, just looking out to make sure no one was hurt in the crowd or bothered by some drunkard.

the fact that you were here was simply a coincidence. he was just taking advantage of it to keep an eye on you.

xiao!

the voice that intruded into his mind was panicked, begging for his attention and help. he felt the fear of the person calling him through the word alone. it sent a cold chill down his spine, and he perked up immediately, eyes still on you to make sure you hadn't somehow gotten hurt while he was momentarily distracted.

but you were fine. the call had come from somewhere a few miles from the inn where the abyss order tended to wander. very few knew to call his name in order to summon him, but this particular cry seemed far too desperate for him to ignore. he gave one last look to where you were standing at a food stall with your friends before he disappeared. it only took seconds of searching to find the source of the voice.

as he suspected, the woman was surrounded by monsters. one cryo mage, one hydro, and a handful of hilichurls were tormenting her for seemingly no reason other than their own amusement. rather than unleashing any deadly attacks, the mages released small bursts of elemental power and cackle at the frightened cry that the woman gave as she was hit with a blast of water or ice. the hilichurls seemed equally as amused, dancing around the woman in joy as they watched her grovel and beg that they leave her alone.

"xiao, help!"

she cried his name once more in the same second that he summoned his polearm, throwing it through the shield of the hydro mage with enough force that it shattered, then summoning it once again to destroy the shield of the other. with all of the monsters exposed to the wind, he flew forward and sent the point of his weapon across their throats, ending their lives quickly and painlessly. no need for any more senseless violence than that which had already occurred.

"t-thank you," the woman breathed as she watched the bodies of the monsters disappear, turning to dust as any remaining life drained from their bodies. once they were gone, xiao stepped forward to help the woman to her feet.

"how did you know to call for me?" he asked shortly, slightly annoyed that such a minor incident had called his attention away from the inn. the woman flinched, and he sighed, lowering his head, "i apologize. i just meant that not many people know to call for me anymore. i'm surprised."

"oh! well, i have a friend who told me about an adeptus who helps those in danger. they said to call for you if i ever found myself in a need of help."

xiao sighed. of course.

"this friend—what is their name?"

"it's y/n. they live near the inn, just a few miles from–"

"i know," xiao interrupted with another sigh, "and where do you live? is there somewhere you would like me to take you?"

"just the inn is fine. i'm meant to be meeting them, actually. for the party."

xiao nodded at this small relief—no more time wasted, then. he took hold of the woman's shoulder and teleported to the edge of the crowd gathered outside of the inn. she wobbled slightly at the unexpected travel, but he simply held her elbow as she righted herself while he scanned the crowd for any sign of you. without his high vantage point, it was difficult to make out anyone beyond the border of the crowd, and he scowled.

"will you be alright on your own?" he asked the woman as he let go of her elbow. she nodded.

"yes, thank you very much. i am in your debt."

"it's no trouble. think nothing of it," he told her before he vanished, leaving her to weave her way through the crowd in search of you. xiao returned to his perch on the balcony, scanning the crowd once again for your familiar form.

what would usually be a fairly easy search quickly become far longer than he'd expected. you were nowhere to be seen, and after a third, then a fourth, and finally a fifth scan of the crowd, he took in a deep, calming breath and tried to listen for a call of his name or a sign of your presence within the inn itself.

nothing.

he reappeared on the outskirts of the crowd again before his panic could get the better of him, shoving past people until he spotted verr goldet behind the makeshift bar that had been put together before the party. she was pouring seemingly endless glasses of dandelion wine for the eager customers on the other side of the counter, meeting their demands with a patience that xiao envied.

she spotted him before he could speak, a small smile on her face as she continued to work on taking the orders of the partygoers.

"xiao," she greeted, "i'm surprised to see you. y/n told me that you'd be keeping your distance tonight."

"do you know where they are?"

verr paused, bottle of wine stilling in her hand as she glanced at him. her expression seemed to ask how he had possibly lost sight of you—she was, admittedly, one of the few people who felt comfortable telling him that you were perfectly safe without his constant vigilance.

"i haven't seen them, but they might've just gone to the bathroom. i'm sure they're fine."

right. of course. there were plenty of reasons why you wouldn't be in his direct line of sight. there was no real reason for him to get so worked up over momentarily losing track of you.

he glanced towards the main entrance of the inn. it was vacant of anyone but a few stragglers stumbling towards their rooms, spent from the excitement and the alcohol that had been flowing fairly freely as the night progressed. you were nowhere to be found.

"don't disturb the customers!" verr shouted after him as he strode towards the inn intently, his face a cloud of worry and frustration.

even though you usually pretended to be ignorant of it, xiao knew that you were more than aware of his tendency to hover. you would sometimes tease him about it, but you also understood how important it was that he knew you were safe. if you'd left, you would've signaled to him that you were going somewhere he couldn't see you.

if you'd gone willingly.

the thought had him moving faster towards the third floor where most of the rooms were located. he paused in front of the first one, wondering how much of a scolding he'd get from you, verr goldet, and zhongli if he barged into each room one-by-one until he found you.

it doesn't matter, he told himself as he lifted a foot to kick down the first door. it was just before he made contact with the flimsy wood that he heard something around the corner of the hall: the smallest sound of distress, and then a reprimand from a low voice to remain silent.

his weapon was in his hand before he even caught sight of the two figures illuminated only by the dim glow of the hall lamps. the man who had spoken was towering over a hunched figure in the corner of the room. he looked angry, and he held a limp arm in a tight grip as he tried to drag a barely-conscious human towards an open door.

xiao did not need to look down to know that it was you who was being dragged. he recognized you immediately, if not by your silhouette then by the familiar sound of your voice, so quiet that he likely wouldn't have picked it up had he been human. you let out a pained, terrified call of his name that made the man above you scoff, undeterred in his efforts to pull you to your feet.

in a single, precise blast of wind, the man was on the opposite end of the hall, clutching the back of his head where he'd hit it against the wall and groaning in pain.

xiao's weapon disappeared as he knelt at your side. he lifted your head onto his lap and held it firmly between his palms, studying your expression carefully. your eyes were lidded, and you looked like you were barely hanging onto consciousness. xiao felt anger swirl deep within him as he scanned you, searching for any sign of injury.

the skin that the man had been holding was irritated, circled with a red handprint that was already beginning to bruise. xiao picked it up gingerly and closed his eyes, willing breath into his lungs before it burst from him in an explosion of fury.

"xiao..." you breathed, eyes falling shut with the knowledge that xiao had come for you. the adeptus swallowed thickly, pressing a kiss to your wrist and laying it gently over your chest. he brushed your disheveled hair from your face and stiffened when he caught sight of the dark bruise on your cheek. you had gone limp in his arms, and he lifted you up at the same time that the vile man on the opposite end of the hall rose shakily to his feet.

"what the hell?" he grumbled, shooting xiao a scathing glare that the adeptus returned tenfold. the man blanched at the glare he was given, far more menacing than his own from the hundreds of years of practice that xiao had under his belt. "y-you attacked me. i could have you arrested for this!"

xiao didn't trust himself to speak. his fury was boundless, and he knew that if it was released, this man would be dead within seconds.

him, and most of the humans residing in the rooms surrounding them.

the man looked bewildered, both by xiao's silence and by the darkness radiating from him. he shifted as a thick aura of destructive intent pooled into the room—just a fraction of the rage that xiao felt—and attempted a hasty retreat for the stairwell.

morax, xiao called sharply as he moved to follow the man, i require your assistance.

zhongli appeared almost instantly in front of him, concerned expression from the rare use of his old name becoming grim at the sight of you limp in xiao's arms.

"what do you need?"

"please take them to bubu pharmacy."

zhongli didn't hesitate to reach forward as the adeptus carefully handed you to the ex-archon. xiao kept a hand on your cheek for a moment longer when you were secure in zhongli's arms, listening closely for the steady beat of your heart. when he was satisfied, he stepped back and nodded at zhongli.

the man disappeared immediately, and xiao felt something tighten in his chest at having you out of sight again. he trusted zhongli to take care of you in your vulnerable state, but not having you within arms reach after you'd been in danger was nearly enough for him to forget the man stumbling down the stairs, and instead go straight to bubu pharmacy.

he stood at the top of the stairs for a moment longer before he teleported to the bottom floor. verr goldet saw him instantly—though he knew that he wasn't being very subtle. the darkness that he felt boiling within him was probably consuming the space around him, which was likely for the best. it would help create a clear space for him to do what he pleased to the vermin that had finally reached the final set of stairs.

he vaguely heard verr calling for people to back away, herding them towards the bridge on the opposite side of the courtyard in anticipation of some kind of confrontation.

the man gave a shout of surprise when he spotted xiao at the bottom of the stairs, stumbling backwards and crawling up the stairs like a rat. xiao felt his mouth twitch, lip pulling back in a snarl, but he composed himself.

he took his time making his way towards the man, taking each step with deadly intent that he knew the cockroach could feel. his eyes were wide and filled with a delicious expression of fear that xiao reveled in. he generally didn't feel this sadistic need for blood, but this was different. this man—this...this animal—had hurt you. who knows how many others he'd hurt in the past.

you would be the last that he ever attempted to harm.

xiao covered the surrounding scene in thick shadows, sparing the onlookers from what was unfolding. he couldn't, however, mask the screams of a coward begging for mercy.

it took him little more than five minutes to take care of the mess he'd made of the stairway and contain the darkness that had pooled around him and the man. he was gone before the crowd could catch sight of him.

he was in front of bubu pharmacy in seconds, breathing as deeply as he could manage to keep his ever-festering rage in check.

"xiao," he heard zhongli say next to him, a hesitancy in his voice that xiao rarely heard. he looked up at the man and blinked, taking in the grave expression on his face.

"they'll be alright," zhongli said before xiao could even open his mouth, hands held neatly behind his back. there was a deep, unsettled frown on his face that was making xiao uneasy.

"but?"

"but...they were drugged. baizhu is trying to determine the exact substance that was used, but he said that it will do no lasting physical harm."

xiao felt something in his chest tighten at the thought of you being in such a vulnerable position in the few minutes that he was gone. you must've been terrified...

"xiao," zhongli's voice broke him from his spiraling thoughts—thoughts that were quickly becoming self-incriminating. "do not blame yourself for this."

"i left," xiao said simply, staring through the door of the pharmacy despite zhongli's pointed gaze insisting that he meet his eyes.

"the only one at fault is the man who did this," zhongli continued, "who, i assume, is not longer a problem."

xiao gave a single nod, and he was sure that he heard a sigh of relief come from the ex-archon.

"good," the man said coldly, "that's one less thing to worry about."

xiao glanced up at his former master, wondering what he was still doing here. surely the situation was being handled by baizhu, and with his own presence, there was no need for him to take up any more of the man's time with a situation born from his own inadequate vigilance–

"you're going to give yourself a headache," zhongli tutted, gliding past xiao towards the doors of the pharmacy.

"wait," xiao called, halting zhongli where he stood.

"yes?"

"i–" he grit his teeth, willing the words to get through to zhongli, "i left."

zhongli watched xiao for a moment before he returned to the adeptus' side.

"why did you leave?"

"a woman was being attacked," he responded immediately, "a few miles from the inn. she called my name."

"and do you think y/n would have forgiven you if you'd ignored a woman in need to continue watching over them?"

xiao felt his throat dry at this. it was true—even without the added stipulation of the woman being your friend, you would've been distraught to learn that he'd ignored someone's plea for help to keep watch over you.

but the one time he'd lost sight of you was the one time you'd needed him most.

you hadn't even been able to call for him.

a sadistic part of him wished he'd kept the man alive, if only to make him suffer further, but he knew that would bring him nothing more than a brief, fleeting feeling of satisfaction. it wouldn't change what had happened, and it wouldn't leave you any less scarred by the event.

"come," zhongli said after xiao had been given sufficient time to stew in his own thoughts, "you should be with them when they wake."

when he finally fought past the guilt clouding his mind and entered the pharmacy, you were still unconscious. baizhu explained the effects of the drug to him quickly—in small doses, it caused drowsiness and fatigue. A higher dose could render someone unconscious—much like the state that you were in now. xiao knew anger was still radiating from him, but he couldn't find the energy to try and hide it. how dare someone do this to you. they had no right to even look at you.

"xiao?"

a whisper of his name broke him from his thoughts, and he bent towards you with a gentle hand on your cheek.

"i'm here."

your smile made most of his anger drain away, and he did his best to return it. he knew he hadn't convinced you—you always seemed to see through his attempts to feigning emotions. you showed him mercy this time, likely too exhausted to do much more than keep your eyes open. xiao sat in the chair at your bedside and took your hand in his.

you closed your eyes again at his familiar touch, letting yourself drift off with the knowledge that you were safe.

[llamagoddessofficial]

Bro you actually got me wanting to marry farm sans 😭 he's so out of my league though. What a man. I like that the whole community wants them to get together too, sans is one of their boys, they gotta have his back and hype him up a little!! I just know there's a monster in town who's offered to plan the wedding for sans, and old ladies love gossiping and playing matchmaker if left to their own devices

"dangit. you found my hiding place before i did."

You jumped, glancing up and over your shoulder, distracted from staring out into the dark. But you relaxed once you saw who it was.

"Ah, sorry." You didn't actually want to move. You immediately felt better for Sans being there, even despite the events that had just transpired, some of your wound-up stress leaking away. "I can go find a new place to cower from socialising,"

"nah, this is fine." Sans sat down on the step, right beside you, letting out a relaxed sigh. He held out a glass of monster champagne to you - you (obviously) accepted. "s'more than enough room for two."

He was right. The beautiful little veranda was spacious enough for a whole party of people. It just so happened that the party had retreated indoors, now that night had fallen. From your spot sat on the edge of the veranda, you could faintly see the lights of the rest of the village, the muffled murmur of the dinner party going on in the house behind you not quite enough to mask the sound of the wind rustling the grass.

You fiddled with the glass. Sans' knee was almost touching yours. He smelled warm, comforting.

"Nice party." You mumbled.

Sans leant back slightly. "yeah. dinner is always good when felinus is hosting."

"Don't tell anyone I said this, but it's much nicer than Theodore's."

"i know he's a dolphin. but still don't get why he only served seafood."

...

You looked at him, and those pretty green eyelights focused onto you.

"So... are you also running away from the matchmaking?"

Sans' smile dropped - then he let out a somewhat pained noise, leaning forward and putting his skull in his hands. You couldn't help but giggle.

"m'so sorry," he groaned. The tension in the air had eased now that you'd finally broached the subject.

"It's fine. Really." You nudged him with your elbow. "It's just old ladies having a laugh. It's probably the most entertainment they've had in a long time."

He rubbed his face. "i know, i know. i just... stars, they're so pushy. it's mortifying watchin' them corner you like that."

You recalled the slight jump of fear you'd had when a cohort of delighted elderly bunnies had seemingly materialised out of thin air in the party to determinedly tell you it was such a shame a 'delightful human like you' was single. They then heavily reiterated how single Sans was, how much he clearly liked you, and what a 'lovely young man' he was.

"They can be strong-willed. That's for sure."

Sans sat up, but seemingly couldn't look at you. "i don't want you to feel some typa way about me because of them."

"... Some way?"

"i know yer anxious to fit into the community." He picked at the fraying sleeves of his knitted blue sweatshirt. "i don't want you to feel... like you have to date me, if you want to be accepted. you can date who you want. or not date. or whatever. i dunno,"

Oh. Your heart fluttered in your chest a little. "I don't feel like that at all."

He eventually looked at you, sheepish. "you sure?"

"Yeah." You waved your hand, eager to cheer him up. "They can be a bit pushy, sure. But it's all in good fun, right? It's not like they're chasing us into a church with shotguns. The worst they've done is very obviously set us up as dance partners at the festival."

A wave of relief seemed to pass over him. "or get us walkin' opposite ways 'round the market so we'll bump into each other."

"Besides." You smiled. "If they like me enough to try to set me up with someone they know, must mean I'm 'in'. So I'm all sorted on the community infiltration front."

He softened even more, nudging your knee with his. "that's true. they love ya. they'll like ya whether or not they've harassed you into datin' me."

"Not like I'd need to be harassed into that anyway."

...

Sans seemed to realise what you'd said before you did. His eyelights, in an instant, were double their usual size

...

"... what'd you say?" He was staring at you.

...

... You could feel the heat creeping over your face, neck and ears. Your mouth had instantly glued itself shut. You didn't answer his question - you just stared at your untouched champagne glass.

...

"SANS! HUMAN!"

Both of you jumped, this time, you felt the cold champagne splash out of the glass and onto your hand as you dropped it entirely. When the two of you turned around, Papyrus seemed just as startled by your reactions as you were to him; he was stood just outside the door, car keys in his hand.

"P-Papyrus!" "bro,"

Papyrus, immediately, gave you and Sans a shifty look. But he quickly covered it up again.

"WE SHOULD HEAD OUT NOW, HUMAN, IF WE WANT TO DROP YOU HOME BEFORE MIDNIGHT."

You and Sans quickly stood, bolt upright, at the same time.

"You-"

"i'll go say goodbye to everyone. you two get the car backed out."

"Sure. Sure,"

Before you could say anything else to him, Sans had hurried past his brother, back into the house. Papyrus watched him head inside with visible confusion written across his face.

...

"... HUMAN," Papyrus glanced at you. "WHAT DID MY BROTHER SAY TO YOU?"

"Uh, I'll..." You fiddled with your hair. "I'll, m, I'll tell you in the car."