#dunno for sure tho so take that with a grain of salt

[neganium]

People talking about Atom: The Beginning makin me miss when that one scanlation group stopped translating it into English bc it got picked up by an official publisher...

And then said publisher admitted to using AI translation, and it Showed, iirc...

[m0th-t33th]

re: your tags on the cyrus post (i lost it and scrolling is so much effort lol), I fully understand what you're saying and it is a little bit eeh (headcanons are so much more low stakes), however like. Well a) I've heard very mixed things on wether its a translation error. the consensus seems to be 'maybe???', the specific word can just mean being not great socially but it is associated with autism and things with similar symptoms. as for it just being him, we only know about this potential part of it due to the leaks, like they never intended for anyone to ever see these documents, so it makes the canon-ness of it kinda debatable anyway because its not like on mt. coronet cyrus goes "btw im autistic". Plus, we dont know about any other characters because the leaks are limited to gens 3, 4, and like... some of 5. so who knows, maybe others are, we may never know. plus the seeming seperation between his emotional issues and the potential autism, at least in my eyes, is a good thing, but in that same document they say he has no emotions, which is just patently untrue so it should be taken with a grain of salt regardless. I dunno what I'm getting at here I've been thinking about this a lot the past few days. I guess to conclude: its kind of eehhh might not be true but if it is and that is the intention, I'm not sure it's too bad all things considered? As in it could be worse. But like. theres also the option to just ignore it and stick to your own conceptions of him. I know I'm ignoring plenty of things in these leaks lmao (some of this cut content was cut for a reason guys....). Either way. i am just enjoying the influx of cyrus autism memes because I've been writing him as autistic for years anyway. ( to be clear this ask is in no way a critique i guess I just wanted to provide what little context I have and also this has been bouncing around in my brain for two days so. opinions have been formed kfdsjd)

THIS IS TRUE! it was only a handful of leaked info & there very well could be other characters described the same its just kept away because no one was supposed to see it in the first place.

and Yeah the canon-ness is very iffy but a lot of people ARE just taking it as face value immediate canon (which is. Not. what you should do. lol.)

PLUS. YOU ARE RIGHT. IT COULD BE WORSE. but to me personally i just feel itd be a bit.... iffy? if the ONLY character to be described as autistic is a villain. ya know. but [shrugs] who knows.

the memes are fucking awesome tho im enjoying those very much KJFGJKJHG

( also this is completely fine! no hurt feelings and whatnot. i get it & i actually think you are very cool for this <3 )

[feisaru]

Cant stop thinking about your older feisaru art. I was wondering if you have a hc of what they're upto at that age. Like hobbies, career, or the people they (still) hang out with?

ALRIGHT LET ME JUST SAY- talking about them on main like this is a little hard 4 me. The whole "if it mattered less, maybe I could talk more about it" bit. I'm still gonna try to not make it super vague? While also not being as overly elaborate as I sometimes get in private chats

Fei still loves soccer a lot. Overall he enjoys powering himself out physically when he gets the chance to. Wheter that can be considered a hobby, I dunno, but he enjoys painting nails a lot, especially if he gets to use a lot of colors and to draw silly little animals on them. He also likes cooking. He taught himself how to very early after CS-finish.

Whereas Saru really enjoys reading. He's been doing that even back when he was Feida's emperor, to escape reality a bit. Every so often, Fei comes up to him and asks what he's reading. If Saru wants to infodump about it, Fei gladly lets him. Honestly, it's not a seldom occurence that they just read together. It often starts with Fei asking Saru to read out loud for him because he really enjoys his voice, while he cuddles into Saru a bit. Then after a while Saru passes him the book. Sometimes they also read their own individual novels while just sitting together. Saru also still does soccer sometimes, but for him it's more like a bonding activity with Fei? He does it mainly because Fei likes it so much and he likes when Fei is happy. He'd still enjoy leading a soccer team but other than that, the physical aftermath of the vaccine was pretty hard on him, leading to him not being able to exhaust himself too much physically (he'd still throw hands if necessary tho). Well, he was never too much into sports anyway. Despite that he still loves climbing on trees. And once again I don't know if that counts as a full on hobby but at some point, because he has so much time on hand, he started attempting to scribble Fei in notebooks. I don't think he'd tell Fei though, he finds it embarrassing.

So now to the more complicated bits! Most of these are still Thoughts In Progress™️

I try not to think too hard about the whole job thing because- I'm still not that experienced with jobs and because I can't see either of them working traditionally. Saru still hasn't forgotten about what El Dorado and the system has done to them. He wouldn't want to work in it. He doesn't want to work in a system created and controlled by people who have damaged him beyond repair. He doesn't want to pretend all's well, he doesn't just want to act like nothing ever happened. And Fei? In theory, he's the one more likely to do it, just because his morality doesn't get in the way, but I can't really imagine him feeling good about working at all. It would really drain him. So the possibility I'm tending to most right now is that they're getting the 200 years into the future equivalent of Hartz IV (as much as Saru hates existing in the state they unfortunately can't just cease doing that and so taking the state's money is still the better option) (I barely know anything about what this whole thing is like so take this with a grain of salt) and that Asurei sometimes helps them out financially because he has more than enough money for himself. They don't have a lot but it suffices to live pretty okay as long as they keep in mind they have a limited amount of money at their disposal. But like I said, my thoughts might change in the future, when I know more myself. I once have entertained the thought of making Fei a mental health professional but that's in the scraps right now because. I know someone pretty similar to him who worked as that and I sure as hell do know it would exhaust him in the long run. He wouldn't be able to handle so many people professionally at once without starting to feel worse himself. He likes psychology but the reason he likes it is that he likes helping Saru. Using psychology on people whom he meets in an office on a professional basis just ain't it

Concerning hanging out, I and a friend have an AU (Trio AU) where Fei reaches out to Zanark so the 3 of them can play soccer together when they're 17-18-ish and he third-wheels for them. Later on he gets a gf, my friend's OC. The AU is more for giggles and laughs than anything and Zanark and Saru go on each other's nerves impossibly. A lot of the time it's "calm down, breathe in, breathe out, you're better than this, there's no reason to get seriously mad at this motherfucker, and most importantly you're doing this for Fei" for Saru. They still see Meia and Giris sometimes, albeit they live a little farther away. And they probably encounter Protocol Omega members sometimes, because they live in the same city as them (thinking about them encountering Alpha and Gamma on a date someday is fun... @amalg4me)

Either way I have some drawings where they're supposed to be young adults (Trio AU, including the banana sweater, all the CS x SPOP drawings... maybe even more. Most of the fluffier drawings are set at least 2 years after Chrono Stone) but I've only recently started figuring out how to get better at varying ages and I'm still working on it

Uh btw... if you wanna see some old man cuddles... I can gladly send you some in the dms. I've been drawing them as adults a lot lately, but I don't feel like posting those drawings on main

[omentranslates]

Owari no Seraph ch 121 English fan translation

Spoilers for the new chapter, but I’ve gone through it for anyone who wants it a few hours early

Also the pictures were a little obscured this time so there was some that I couldn’t read well, sorry about that. I’m also doing this on my phone so that’s why the formatting is like this.

A single car traveling through the destroyed town…

Mika: Hey, Yuuchaaan

Yuu: Hm?

Mika: Where does this go?

Yuu: Secret~

Mika: Secret, huh?

Yuu: Guess you’ll just have to wait and see~

Mika: …well, no, I mean I can see what’s smack dab in front of me.

Yuu: Wowww, our skillful Mika has already found it out.

Mika: “Found it out…?”

Chapter 121: The Final Sunrise

Mika: Wait. You weren’t aiming for the massive forest, you’re gonna try and climb the mountain aren’t you!?

Yuu: Well who would come all this way and not climb it?

Mika: PLENTY OF PEOPLE??? Who WOULD climb it in this situation???

Mika: WAIT ARE YOU SERIOUSLY GOING UP??? YOU’VE GOTTA BE KIDDING. WHAT EVEN FOR???

Yuu: Well if we climb it we’ll have the memory right?*

Mika: What the hell kind of memory do you want!?

*these were difficult to read behind the overlay take w grain of salt

Yuu: WHOAA!! THIS IS SO COOL, ITS MASSIVE!!!

Mika: And you’re so loud.

Yuu: Gotta be the biggest in Japan. **

Mika: I know. Ok but why are you always trying to climb to the highest possible place when we’re supposed to be laying low?

Yuu: Well don’t you just wanna see if you can?

The whole top half of this line was covered, take w grain of salt

Mika: Not even a little.

Yuu: Well it’d be easy to hide here wouldn’t it? Do you know anything about Mt. Fuji’s huge expanse of forest?

Mika: Ah, that’s right. So you think we can hide in the sea of trees?

90% sure on this but the word for where they’re hiding is kind of hidden

Yuu: I think Guren mentioned it in class once. Something about the magnetic field or something being supernatural somehow or whatever.

Mika: You really can’t remember anything.

Yuu: I sucked at all the magic stuff.

Mika: Well maybe hiding in the forest is a good idea. Since what we need is time.

Mika: ….the last.

Mika: ……so that’s what it is

Yuu: Right right right! So then let’s do the most fun mountain climbing trip ever! I’m gonna go get some more snacks.

Yuu: Mika let’s go!

Mika: Hm

Yuu: Come on, smile!

Mika: Yeah yeah I know

Yuu: WHOAAA!! AMAZING!!!!

Yuu: It’s so beautiful!

Mika: Yeah, it’s pretty amazing…

Mika: Hey Yuuchan

Yuu: Yeah?

Mika: Where do prayers from here go?

Yuu: Uh…god, isn’t it?

Mika: Yeah, which god.

Yuu: I dunno. Not the First, though.

Mika: Ah, true! Great, we’ll pray to the First’s enemies!

*muttering prayers*

Yuu: Alright….I’M ON TOP!!

Mika: Isn’t someone gonna strike you down if you climb on that thing?

Yuu: It should be fine we’ve taken more than our share of divine punishment. They even destroyed the world.

Mika: That’s Yuuchan for you, always looking ahead.

Yuu: Well, our fight to save the world starts now anyways.

Yuu: JUST WATCH!!!! I DUNNO IF YOURE A GOD OR AN ANGEL OR A DEMON BUT WE’RE GONNA DO THIS!!!

Mika: Yup. Doesn’t get any more blasphemous than this.

Yuu: *first part unreadable* Hurry up and come here! The view’s amazing!

Mika: Yeah ok

Yuu: Check it out

Mika: I’m looking

Yuu: Glad you joined me?

Mika: Yeah, I’m glad. Since I was able to see you looking so happy.

Yuu: You look happy too!

Mika: Yeah, it’s been a while since I’ve had fun.

Yuu: Ah come on, if you’re gonna be alive you gotta have some fun. No matter what.

Mika: True.

Yuu: Let’s even have fun while we’re saving the world. Ah, by the way, this is the first sunrise***

*** he’s either saying it’s the first sunrise of the year or this is the first sunrise he’s ever watched, it’s hard to tell from the phrasing, 初日の出 means first sunrise of the year but in the sentence before it he’s only talking abt him even tho Mika is also seeing it

Mika: No way-!?

Mika: Yuuchan

Yuu: Yeah?

Mika: The view we saw together today, I don’t think I’ll forget it as long as I live.

Yuu: Nah, how about instead, after we win this thing we live so long we forget about it completely.

Yuu: After (something blurry) the mass resurrection (I think) we’re gonna have so much fun we forget every sad thing that’s happened til now.****

Mika: Alright, if we can do it

Yuu: OF COURSE WE CAN

Mika: Yeah

Yuu: We-

Yuu: ARE GONNA DO IT!!!

Mika: woo!

Shibuya: Japan Imperial Demon Army Capital City

Ky Luc: Alright, filthy humans. You listening?

Ky Luc: We have absolutely no interest in you. So if you don’t resist, we won’t have to kill you. However-

Ky Luc: If even one of you tries something, we can kill you by the thousands. Got it?

Ky Luc: DO YOU GOT IT?

Soldiers: YES.

(The sfx here is of a cute smile)

Lest Karr: Urd-sama? Shibuya is completely (something covered up).

(If I had to guess I’d say “subdued” but I seriously can’t read it through the overlay)

Shinya: This has gotten real bad, huh Kureto oniisan? Humanity is gonna go extinct at this rate. We need to do our best to get outside and make contact with Guren.

Shinya: Oniisan? Oniisan? You’re not dead over there are you?

Kureto: Shut up. I’m thinking.

Vampire: The protection circle is complete

Vampire: All clear on both sides. Do you understand? The test subject we’re taking on this time is a god. If we don’t do this meticulously, we die. There is no room for error.

Vampire: If there are any outstanding members of the Imperial Demon Army’s researchers, assign them to the Hyakuya Project too. This is what we’ve been fighting for for millennia. Stay sharp.

Soldier: Yessir

Vampire: The protection circle is complete, Rigr-sama!

In the sea of trees

Mika: You ready for this?

Yuu: Yup.

Mika: Alright then.

Rigr: I’ll be seeing your past. First.

Rigr: And when I find out what it is you want to protect and what your goals are, I am going to destroy them all.

Rigr: That’s how we’re going to escape your curse.

Urd: Careful, Rigr.

Rigr: Well then, to see into your past

Mika: Into our past

Both: We go

The end text is almost completely blurred, it says smth abt the true culprit of the end of the world.

** Japanese writes a loud voice as a big voice so it’s not totally clear whether they’re talking abt it being the biggest mountain in Japan or Yuu being the loudest person in Japan. I’m pretty sure it’s the mountain but the ambiguity is funny to me skshsk

****I can’t figure out how to convey this completely in English but it’s less of “we’re going to have so much fun” and more of “we’re going to spend so much time having fun” if that makes sense?? Like the verb implies that they’re like. Passing either time or their lives that way

There’s a QR code on the first page that says an OnS exhibition will be held in March 2023

Thank you for reading

[bmpmp3]

so i was watching the new mlp movie and with kids movies and kids media in general, one thing i like to do as an adult is try to view it from the perspective of: “would i like this if i was a kid” ‘cause like, obviously i also think about if adult me likes it too or if i think its well made but a kids movie is made for kids so it should be appealing to them first and foremost right? in my opinion at least

anyway yeah i always like to keep in the back of my mind the opinions of my 10 year old self while watching childrens movies but like also. if i was 3rd grader in 2021 and i saw A New Generation i absolutely would have watched this movie a lot but specifically so i could play out a way more serious and melodramatic high stakes version of the story and worldbuilding with my toys as i was watching. i would have made the antagonist some big menacing shadowy king of whatever and there would be at least 4 main character death fakeouts (possibly an actually death but maybe they got brought back through the magic of pokemon tears or something). the main character would have been replaced with a talking cat with fairy wings (dont worry about it) who solves all the problems and gets all the magic powers ever.

so maybe i should take my 10 year old self’s opinions with a grain of salt? or maybe that kid was right. maybe that is what childrens media should be like

[romanceimp]

Bitter Taste: Iwaizumi x f/reader Pt. 1

pt. 2 here

THIS IS SO LATE and I’m a fuck up hahahaha (kinda ironic this was 2 weeks late for Mental Health Awareness month) 

I am crediting my girl @kuso-deku for giving me Iwaizumi brain rot to begin with. I am also crediting @gixxie and @idonotagreebitch for helping me talk through my ideas... and crediting @doinmybesthere for the wonderful idea of a mental health awareness collaboration the link is here. PLS READ THE REST OF THE WORKS. Everyone deserves the love.

TW: manipulative male/female relationships, gaslighting?, subtle shit head crap that most men do (don’t worry Iwa is a peach as always tho, it’s Ushijima that’s the problem)

_ 

Iwaizumi stands and stretches in the cinema. The movie had been good, but long, he figured it was a little after midnight. “What’d ya think?” Kuroo asks as they exit the theatre. “I hated the ending…” Oikawa gripes, “I hate endings where everyone just dies.” “You are such a princess Tooru, I swear, it’s a metaphorical ending… did you not catch all the symbolism in the opening credits?” Iwaizumi sighs and turns his phone back on, trying his best to ignore their bickering. Slowly, notification after notification pops up… all from you. He blinks, surprised. You had declined his offer to join him for the film, stating you had previous plans attending a close friend’s birthday.

Iwa opens the messages from you. He sees first the selfies. You look beautiful, extravagant even. Your dress is beautiful, it compliments your figure perfectly with the corseted bodice. It’s white and so is your lace mask. Broad, feathered angel wings rest on your back. Angelic would have been a word he’d used to describe you before, but now, it was confirmed. He wants to keep staring at the photos but Kuroo and Oikawa are starting to become too curious about the contents of his phone. He scrolls and relaxes his face to look more casual. But it’s hard when your intoxicated messages are so darn cute.    

hope the movie is good!

okay so I guess there’s an open bar? Is it my birthday too?

if you wanna come by after the movie I’msure you coul

this partyyyy suckssssssss assssssssss

wish id gon wiht u xx

You are clearly drunk and he laughs to himself before Kuroo peers over his right shoulder. “Well she’s thinking about you at least,” he smirks. Oikawa peers over Iwaizumi’s left shoulder, “ooo play the voice message.” Oikawa taps the message before Iwaizumi can give him an answer.

“Hiiiii Iwaaaaaa, hope you like the moovie and you’re having a good time, cuz I’m having a preetyy good time, they gots free margaritaaass. Okay byeeeee”

The guys laugh and Oikawa presses the next one.

“Hey Iwaaa, I made up a song about you, ready?

Iwaizumi

Doesn’t know what he does- to me…

Sshfhsijknfhahaha I cant remember the rest som’n bout… som’n I dunno. Byeee”

“Okay, Ushi says that I need to say sorry for sending so many…” you pause and then whisper, “drunk messages, but I’as only tellin’ ya I ssink ‘r awesome ‘n you should totally come to this party and hang out with me… you’re awesome, okay byeee”

Oikawa and Kuroo pause and look at Iwaizumi. “Ushi?” Oikawa asks, “like Ushiwaka?” Oikawa’s eyes are narrowed and he gags dramatically in disgust. Iwaizumi nods and walks to exit the theatre. “Wait… that’s her friend who’s having the birthday party?” Iwa grimaces as Kuroo chuckles. “No wonder you’ve had a stick up your ass all night.” Iwa glares at him, “they’re just friends… apparently… I don’t know, she said they’ve known each other for a really long time…” Kuroo claps Iwaizumi on the back. “I think you should definitely go to the party.” Iwaizumi starts to object but the ring of his phone draws attention, and he answers it. “Heyyy you're outta th’moviee, heheeheheha,” you slur. Iwaizumi laughs softly and smiles, “yeah, I’m out of the movie now, are you… good?” There is so much background noise, it almost drowns out your sweet sleepy voice. “I’m soooo good… … I just-” he can hear your voice drop to a drunken whisper. “I’z just hoping to see you today,” you mumble finally.  

Iwaizumi can feel his heartbeat quicken, his head reeling. “Oh really?” He plays cool but then instantly regrets it when you give him a serious answer. “Yeah, I was really hoping you’d come to the party, even for just a little,” you murmur. Iwaizumi can’t help but chuckle. You were pretty cute like this, not normally so transparent. You were actually quite hard to read, so sweet but guarded and teasing too. You were a friend of Oikawa’s first and he had met you through him. He’d liked the way you sat cross legged on the couch smiling, chin in your hands while you asked questions and listened to his answers. Your eyes sparkle when you hear something you like, and your face lights up when you talk about things you find interesting.

“Ya don’t have to, I can just see ya another time,” you add. He’s been silent too long which causes him to speak without thinking. “No, I’d love to see you, I’ll head to you now.” Kuroo and Oikawa are silently cheering him on and Iwa turns away in embarrassment. “Really? Okay! I’ll drop my pin… as the kids are sayin’ these days hahaha.” “See you soon, drink some water okay?” “Mhm, I will, see ya soon!”

You were at a club owned by Ushijima’s family. A place called ‘Eagle’s Nest’. He’d only known you for a few weeks but he couldn’t help his infatuation. It was immediate, the night he had gone to Oikawas for game night. You spoke to him so easily not knowing him at all and laughed at his little side jabs to his long time friend. The way you looked at him… Iwa knew then that he wanted to see you smile, hear your laugh, and that he would be happy to assume the responsibility of making that happen.

He was surprised when you had declined his offer for the movie, feeling that you both had some definite chemistry, but Iwaizumi was even more surprised when you had said that you had prior plans with his old time rival Ushijima Wakatoshi. Iwaizumi hadn’t seen him since high school but they knew a few people in common, Oikawa being one of those people. Oikawa could sure hold a grudge but Iwaizumi took all of his comments with a grain of salt. Ushijima often came off entitled and cold, which would leave Iwaizumi with a bad taste in his mouth. Maybe Oikawa had the right idea holding a grudge… But grudge or not he wanted to see you, hear your voice and admire you all dolled up.

When Iwaizumi arrives at the club he is met with a large security guard. “Invitation?” he grumbles. Iwa remains calm but a small trickle of fear runs down his back. Iwaizumi gives the guard a casual smile before he starts to answer but he is interrupted. “Iwaaaaa,” you cry from the top of the stairs. The mask you’d had on is now resting on top of your head, the delicate features of your face now exposed. The floofy skirt of your dress bounces with your excitement as you run down the stairs. You crash into him, throwing your arms around his neck. You bury your face in his collar and still momentarily. Drunk and bubbly, you melt when Iwa wraps his arms around your waist in return, avoiding your costume’s wings. “Mmmm,” you hum, breath hot against his skin, “you smell good.” You pull back and stare into his wide eyes. “You look incredible,” he offers, a slight pink tint to his cheeks. You grin in return and simply take hold of his hand. “He’s with me,” you beam at the guard. Iwaizumi is doubtful this trick will work here. But he is surprised when the guard steps aside saying, “as you wish Miss L/N.” You giggle and pull Iwa towards the doors. “I’ll bring you some cake later, okay Jurou?” Jurou laughs, “just have fun darlin’.” “You’re the best,” you call behind you as you push open the doors. Iwaizumi can’t help but feel a twinge of jealousy knowing that you are on a first name basis with one of the body guards at the Wakatoshi’s club. How close were you with Ushijima?    

Blue and purple lights illuminate the vast space while black tiles make up the main floor. The dance floor is sunken, in the middle of the club with a small set of stairs leading down to it. It’s made entirely of glass, beneath is a saltwater garden of different plants and coral.  

“You’ll need one of these,” you explain, swiping a simple black mask from the welcome table. You hand it over to him and pull yours down over your eyes. Iwaizumi adjusts it to where he can see. “You look so handsome,” you admire. He grins, “what about you? You’ve got wings!” You laugh and adjust your mask back on top of your forehead. “I’m a swan, and Ushi said I couldn’t be a swan without wings!” You spin for him, trying your best to flap the feathered wings. Small pieces of confetti glitter rain from the skirt of your dress. Iwaizumi takes in your face illuminated by the lights of the club. Blue and pink dancing over your cheeks as you smile up at him. “What?” you giggle nervously. Just a few weeks but he is mesmerised by your everything. He shakes his head and tries to move on. He wanted to tell you how he felt but this wasn’t the right time. It should be when you’re sober, when you can take in his words properly.

You coax him down towards the bar.  “You’re sure it’s okay to sneak in uninvited guests?” Iwa questions. “Well, I asked Ushi ‘nd he said it was okay, so yeah!” You grin but notice Iwaizumi’s reserve. “It’s really okay, I promise, let’s just get a drink,” you suggest and take his hand. “Only if you drink more water,” he smirks. You roll your eyes at Iwa, “I drank some water before you got here actually.” You look back at him as you both head down to the bar. “I’ll prolly regret that yurr seeing me like this tamorow, ya know,” you call over the blaring music. “It’s cute, you’re cute,” he assures as he leans against the bar, “I didn’t know you thought about me this much until I saw all the snapchats and voice messages and texts.” You cover your face in humiliation, “I knowww, I’m sorry but you were on my mind a lot, alot alot, and  couldn’t stop think about ya, and the booze told me to keep on messaging…” You trail off,  finding the last shred of your filter to keep you from talking.  The bartender hands you your water and you take a long drink.

“Iwaizumi,” a voice projects over the baseline. Ushijima stands tall advancing towards where you both stand. His expression is neutral though, his eyes keep darting to you and then back to Iwaizumi. Ushijima is dressed as a knight, his silver mask hangs languidly around his neck. “Ushiwaka,” Iwa acknowledges, “this is a hell of a birthday party.” You giggle and point at Ushiwaka, “he’s 28 today; getting sooo old.” In that moment, Iwaizumi watches him do something he had never seen him do before. Smile… and then laugh. Ushijima wraps an arm around your waist and pulls you closer.  “You’re just a baby,  you’re only-” You wave your hand in front of Ushiwaka’s face, shushing him. “No, no, Iwa doesn’t knowww, don’t tell him,” you plead. “She’s only 23,” Ushiwaka says. You hold your face in your hands once more and groan. Ushijima pulls your hands from your face, “just barely twenty three too.” You glare at him and look back at Iwaizumi embarrassed.  “Did she not tell you her age?” Ushijima asks Iwaizumi. Iwa shrugs, “She didn’t, but I never asked,” Iwa shrugs casually, addressing you now, “didn’t seem important since you carry yourself so well.”

You turn to Iwa, mouth open like you’re about to respond but Ushijima swipes the glass from your hands before you can finish. “Drinking water?” You look up at him. “But it’s my birthday… and this is a party…  you need something stronger…” Ushijima beacons the bartender with a single flick of his hand. The barman pours three double shots of a clear liquid from a foreign looking bottle. Ushijima takes a glass and hands it to you, before handing another to Iwaizumi. Ushijima gives him a wink as he loops his arm around your waist, pulling you closer to him. He raises his glass, the violet lights illuminating the liquid. Iwaizumi follows his lead. “To my Juliet, the belle of the ball,” Ushijima bellows. You smile slightly and shake your head. “No no, to you Ushi, it’s your birthday, not mine, we are celebrating you!” Your eyes find Iwa’s, but you leave your glass raised. Ushijima grabs hold of your hand that’s still wrapped around the glass. “Cheers,” He tips the glass towards your lips and you swallow the clear liquor as he feeds it to you. You down it all in one go and Ushiwaka smiles wide once again. “She’s good, huh?” With that, Ushiwaka clinks his glass to Iwaizumi’s, “to you brother,” he assures. Iwa is surprised with the sudden sentiment. “And to you,” he replies before downing the shot. The liquor is surprisingly smooth, expensive, and strong. Iwa can feel his head starting to get light from the small portion that was in the glass and Iwa wasn’t a light weight. “Strong huh?” Ushijima smirks. Iwaizumi nods then turns to the bartender to signal for a water.

Ushijima turns to where you stand swaying slightly with the music. “Look at her, she gets drunk so easily,” Ushijima smiles. “How are you feeling, princess?” he shouts over at you. Iwa turns away and downs his water in disgust. ‘Princess?’ Ushijima shouldn’t be calling you that if you’re both just friends. You blink and give him a smile and a thumbs up. There was a natural innocence about you, a childlike wonder and curiosity, the embodiment of sanguine. Ushijima’s air was sometimes sinister, like he was taking advantage of your natural trusting nature. Iwa watches as Ushijima’s large hands rest on either of your shoulders and he pushes you back and forth like a pendulum between his palms. You giggle and try to push him away, “Ushi stooopp.” He laughs with you and continues pushing you around, “you’re so cute and small though, see?” He places a hand on top of your head and you still. “I said to stop,” you mumble. “And I did,” he retorts before letting you go.

Iwa watches the sudden weight of gravity find you as you stumble in your heels. He catches your arm just in time. Your arms find their way around his neck once more, your face in the crook of his neck. You pull away and Iwa examines your foggy eyes. “You okay?” You nod, pushing off of Iwa’s chest. You fix your hair, “it’s fine, he just messin’” you turn to Ushijima, “and someone doesn’t know when to quit.” You’re pulled away into Ushiwaka’s arms. He sways you back and forth, your back held against his chest while he says soft apologies. He whispers something to you and you nod. Iwaizumi wanted to pull you away from him. Not because he was jealous, but because the way that Ushiwaka was behaving with you was odd.

“Y/n is a little bit tired, why don’t you join us in VIP?” Iwa smiles and gives his thanks, trying his best to hide his scowl. Iwa follows after you and Ushiwaka, upstairs and under velvet ropes hoping that he will find a good moment to pull you away. But instead you are pulled onto the couch beside Ushiwaka. He lights a cigar and offers one to Iwa, but Iwaizumi declines with a simple, “no thanks, don’t smoke.” It’s strange the way that Ushiwaka keeps whispering in your ear, giving you sips of his drinks, and blowing smoke in your face. “Ushi, stop please, the smell is making me sick,” you whine. But he just pulls you closer to him, chuckling all the while and does it again. You’re laughing and poking his face, but it’s not out of joy... Watching Ushijima interact with you the whole night has been like watching a cat toy with a mouse.

Iwa grimaces when Ushiwaka tickles you. “Stop-stop-don’t-stop,” you giggle and howl. “She said to stop!” Iwa raises his voice. Ushijima’s eyes shoot towards Iwaizumi while you squirm off the couch. Your eyes are heavy as you walk towards a dark hallway and disappear into the shadows. Iwa’s eyes flick to the entrance to the hall. Ushiwaka sits in a contented silence, sipping a drink, “she’s so dramatic,” he sighs. He continues smoking, arm rested over the back of the purple velvet sofa. Ushijima takes a sip of his drink, swirling the ice in his glass. Iwa doesn’t move to break the silence no matter how expectant Ushijima’s expression was. He stamps out his cigar in the tray before addressing him.

“She’s awfully talkative, and incredibly fond of you…” Ushijima starts, an odd smirk painting his expression. Iwaizumi raises an eyebrow in intrigue and Ushijima’s face hardens. “She won’t shut up about you since she met you… it’s annoying...” Iwaizumi, remains quiet, the silence settling over the men like a thick fog. The only sounds are muffled club music and the ice tinkling against Ushijima’s glass. “I’m going to be honest as a friend… bad idea.” Iwaizumi can feel the rage bubbling inside his gut, “I don’t think that what’s going on between us is any of your-” He’s cut off by Ushijima.

“I’m really looking out for you Iwaizumi, girls can break hearts and Y/n is kind of known for that… she’s just a sweet soul, makes friends easily, but love? That’s harder for her… doesn’t have the best taste in men I’m afraid, I want to protect her and you from a situation where I can already see the conclusion… I get that you like her, everyone does.”  Iwazumi leans forward, “does that include you?” Ushijima is stone faced, then gives a cold laugh. “You’re funnier than I remember, Iwaizumi.”

Iwaizumi rises and heads towards the hall you disappeared down. If he sat in front of him any longer he was going to say something he regretted… and you still haven’t come back. He slips into the dark hallway as you’re exiting the bathroom. Your mask has been removed and even in the dim lighting you look pale. “Hey, what’s happened?” You look up at him embarrassed, your dress almost as wilted as you are. “Got sick…” you mutter. You’re shaking slightly, arms wrapped around yourself. “Oh Y/n, are you alright?” he sighs. His arm starts to reach for you but he thinks better of it, pulling it back to rest by his side. His eyes widen as he feels the warmth of your hand in his. He didn’t figure that you would want to be touched right now. But your fingers interlace with his,  your skin soft. “Are you good to drive?” you whisper. His hand instinctively tightens around yours protectively. “I only had whatever Ushijima gave us, it was strong but I’ve had water- yeah I’m good.” “Would you mind taking me home?” you ask, as you start to walk back towards the VIP room. “Sure, course,” Iwaizumi replies gently. He feels how your thumb brushes over the back of his hand in silent gratitude. The gesture has his heart beating hard against his ribs. Iwa walks forward, his eyes on you and nothing else. Your brow is furrowed and your expression painted serious which was unusual from how he knew you to act.

“Iwa’s taking me home now,” you announce and walk towards the stairs. Ushiwaka’s face hardens, “I can take her home, you shouldn’t trouble yourself,” he addresses Iwaizumi. You smile and turn around facing Ushiwaka. “But Ushi, ‘s ur birthday, you can’t leave this party jus’ ‘a take me home,” You turn to Iwa now. “Let’s go,” you say and Iwa nods, still holding your hand.  “Where’s my hug, princess?” Ushijima calls after you. You stop in your tracks and close your eyes, taking in a deep breath. You drop Iwa’s hand slowly, hesitantly. You walk back slowly and stand before his open arms. He lifts you and you groan. You’re still hugging him tightly but not quite with the same intimacy as before.

As Ushijima places you down you turn to look back at Iwa when Ushijima catches your face with his large hand. He coaxes your face back towards him then leans down. Ushiwaka locks eyes with Iwaizumi as he whispers something in your ear. Then he presses his lips to your cheek, still not moving his eyes away from Iwaizumi’s. Iwa tries his best to remain neutral but he can feel his lip creeping upwards in contempt. Ushiwaka is too prideful for his own good it seems.

You take Iwa’s hand again, leading him towards the exit. An exasperated look rests on your face. “What did he say to you?” Iwa asks. You sigh and shake your head. “‘S nothin’,  ya shouldn’t worry your pretty lil head ‘bout it.” Iwa can’t help but allow a smile. He raises an eyebrow at you, “think my head is pretty?” he asks. He’s met with your hazy gaze, “I do,” you say simply. Iwa wasn’t prepared for such a straightforward answer to his question.

Once out of the club, the valet pull Iwaizumi’s car around. He’s careful not to let you walk too far on your own. Sick, in those ridiculous shoes and still quite drunk, he opens the car door for you before hopping into the driver's seat. “Will you put your address in?” Iwa hands you his phone and you type it in as asked. “Thanks for doing this,” you sigh. “Yeah of course,” he says as he puts the car into gear. A few streets of city light pass by in silence. Your hands are resting in your lap but your body is still trembling. “I can- umm- pull over if you need me to…” You wave the thought away with your hand, “it was the smell of the cigar more than anything…” Iwa’s gut begins to boil again. Your voice is soft, almost defeated. He speaks before thinking better of it. “Does he always treat you like that?” You look at Iwa and make eye contact briefly before his attention is back on the road. “He was being a little extra weird today, maybe because y’all used to play volleyball together or… I dunno really, he just gets like that sometimes…” You trail off, allowing your thoughts to fade into the rearview. The silence is deafening and you feel the need to break it. “He’s really nice too though, don’t get me wrong, he cooks for me and calls to check in, he even gets me little gifts, so I know he cares.” Iwa shakes his head, “if he cared he would have stopped when you asked him to.” You take a breath, “I know but he was just having a night I guess…” Iwa pulls into your driveway as the GPS notifies him that he has ‘arrived at the destination’. He puts the car in park, “you don’t have to make excuses for him… it’s okay to be angry, if that’s how you feel.” You start to open the door, your fingers on the handle. “I’m not angry though, I’m just kinda hurt.” You open the door and start to get out, “okay, maybe a little angry too.” You laugh to yourself but not out of joy. It’s an ironic laugh and Iwa can hear the pain ringing inside of it. “Let me walk you inside.”  

[sleepymccoy]

I need a bit of advice

You're one of my favourite writers. I love everything about the way you write and I aspire to be as good as you

I've been planning a series of books for almost three years. I, being an idiot, have written nothing down. I want to write everything down but there's so many little details and things, I have no idea how to organise it all. I know that over planning probably won't help too much, but these characters and their stories matter so much to me. Also, I really enjoy planning things out. I have no idea what to do or where to even start.

And, any advice on getting over writers block/not being able to look at the screen when I write because I'm cringing so hard?

You are my favourite. You make me so happy. I want you to have a wonderful life.

(Also I think this applies to more people than me but I 1000% think of you like a celebrity and me speaking to you right now is so cool I'm fangirling really hard. You're awesome)

This is very kind of you, and also buck wild cos I'm just a dude, my mate. Also, I appreciate your commitment cos I haven't posted in like a year whoops. I still write tho, promise!

I've also been trying to write a book for a few years, and I have not done so at all so take my advice with many grains of salt. Esp cos I don't plan anything, I just scrawl

I had a lot of trouble with setting characters and relationships up, cos I'm used to that work being done already. So I just started skipping that. For the last year I've basically been writing fanfic of my og fiction plot that still only lives on my head. It's a lot of fun, I made these characters the way they are cos I like that, it's fun writing them in different little stand alone fic scenarios

In terms of starting to write, everyone has a different method that works. Some people write complex fic plot summaries that they follow, some do dot points, some think it through to finished, and some just start with a vague idea of where they're going

I'm the last type, I prep nothing. Hence why I'm not sure my advice will apply to you, given you love planning. I have reluctantly written dot point summaries of my fics when they're nearly done just to make sure the plot does actually move forward correctly, and I only do that when they're quite long and I'm struggling to keep it all in mind at once. And so I can more easily see where I can insert my random little side moment interactions I've written in-between bits

I write by aggressively imagining the scene, and desperately writing the dialogue only as quickly as I can so I don't pause my imagining at all. Then I read over the dialogue beats and edit them until I'm happy, then start actually adding dialogue tags and descriptions and paragraphs.

I dunno if any of that might help you. I have my docs set to dark mode and do a lot of first draft (dialogue only) writing in bed.

There's advice I've seen around that you should write the scenes you want to. Like, just start the fun scene. It's what you wanna write, it'll be what others want to read cos it's the cool scene. Just keep skipping the bits in-between and writing the fun scenes, and you may find there's a lot more done that you thought.

Like, if your plot layout has, I dunno,

Characters meet... Setting summary... Plot hook... First plot conflict... Pleasant evening... Tasty, heart breaking breakup scene... Get back together... Second plot conflict... So on

But all youre thinking about is the tasty heartbreaking scene, just write that out. You might change the plot completely down the line, and that scene that got you started is suddenly character study (or, fanfic) rather than a scene. That's chill. That's good

Alternatively, maybe don't plan on a screen. Draw out the plot arc on a piece of paper. Back of a newspaper. Something that won't feel so big and important as your nicely filed and properly named document

Ily

[lichbarry]

Thoughts on The Moon Video

Hey guysss I dunno how many of my followers actually check out my text posts like these but I just watched The Moon Video and have some thoughts. Not necessarily theories, not necessarily criticisms, just... thoughts.

What’s most interesting to me is that the video isn’t set up how I thought it would be.  Most of the time, when someone on Youtube (or even on here) is introducing new ideas/theories to a fandom, they do it in an essay format. I’m sure we’ve all come across plenty of video essays, and I very much thought that’s what was going on here.  But it’s.... not. It’s not a video essay. As far as I’m aware, there wasn’t even any commentary at all. Which goes into my next thought:

The video opened my mind and then didn’t put anything in it.  The video is a conversation starter. From what I could tell (I didn’t have captions on or anything, I don’t know if there was extra commentary somewhere) there was absolutely no insertion of opinion or conclusions drawn. I described it in a liveblog to my friends as my brain feeling like “an open sunroof on a moving car.”  The most information we get is from the titles of each segment, as well as the order in which the clips are presented. But other than that the whole thing is entirely objective. The only fan theory it even proposes is the “Fjord is Goku” one, which from what I understand wasn’t the original idea of the poster, but was the headcanon of the man who asked the question at the panel. 

Speaking of, does anyone have more evidence on that? I’m going to go look in the tags later to see if I can find more arguments for it but I went from 0 to 65% convinced. Pointing out Travis’s love of Dragon Ball is the most convincing thing for me (I’ve never seen Dragon Ball so I wouldn’t have made that connection myself), along with Matt’s descriptions of falling.  One thing I didn’t see OP mention to support it was the “power words” Ukotoa was using in Fjord’s initial dreams. Obviously the ones we all remember are “Consume” and “Reward”. But iirc, the “consume” dream (and ones before that, if there were any we saw) was heavily implying that Fjord could only please Ukotoa by slaughtering in his name, similarly to what Yasha did as Orphanmaker. Obviously Ukotoa would want this for his own gain, but it would fit right into Fjord being sent to destroy the world, especially in an age of the rising of the personification of Chaos.  But yeah by the time I was starting to get on the bandwagon and wanted to see more evidence the segment was over so that was kind of disappointing. 

Again, aside from that ^ theory, there really aren’t any that the video presents? It just gives you the information and people are drawing their own conclusions.  Which is great!!! It’s fucking phenomenal! But it’s far from what I expected nor am used to in fandom. Information being presented objectively, without comment??? Unheard of. I’m still barely able to comprehend the idea. 

That being said, some of yall were obviously paying more attention than I was because I never put together any of the “Rudinis IS the Luxon” shit. I just knew things like metals were falling from the sky and assumed this whole video was just a buildup to the Fjord theory.

My own theory about what Rudinis is: a portal 

Again, take this with a grain of salt because I clearly wasn’t paying enough attention. But portals have already been a pretty major obstacle that the M9 are having to face, especially in the context of the BBEG (which I’m assuming is going to be Tharizdun). As in, portals have been behind basically everything so far. And while, yes, Rudinis being the body of a dead god or something is fucking awesome, it just seems unlikely given what’s been supposedly falling from it?? I know that metals and shit being organic material isn’t out of the realm of possibility for a god, but if you tie in everything thats fallen AND the Fjord theory, then that’s an awful lot of random shit to come from one organic creature.  You know what else is random though? Portals. Anything can fall through a portal. Metal, beacons, whole ass alien babies, other gods.  In fact, if you do wanna tie in the Fjord theory, then how many times in media have we discovered that our hero was an alien who fell/was sent through a portal down onto our world? Off the top of my head I can think of Doctor Who, She-Ra & the Princesses of Power, Dragon Ball Z, Megamind, Superman. I’m honestly a little sick of it but the trope is already there to fit in with that theory, and again, it allows for way more diversity than Rudinis just being a decaying body. 

The mental image of level 20 Caduceus decaying away the fucking moon tho??? Sick as hell

Anyway yeah I think that might be all you have to say. It’s a really interesting video and it’s starting up really good conversations but it’s not necessarily as enlightening as people are making it out to be? At least to me. I’m so used to getting presented with opinions that an hour’s worth of pure information is like. Unsettling. 

Here’s the link if you haven’t seen it/can’t find it. It’s incredibly well-produced, so enjoy. 

[svtskneecaps]

@transparentnctseventeenperson YOU WANTED GUIDES HERE U GO I THREW MYSELF OUT OF MY BED IN EXCITEMENT SEEING THAT I STG

(people who know better pls check my work am baby)

THE LONG AND SHORT OF IT: TRCNG is a ten membered boy group under ts entertainment that debuted in October 2017 with Spectrum and deserves the absolute world thank u. Fandom name is Champions, we waited for y e a r s and we finally have it

(unfortunately i don’t speak korean and can’t force myself to watch through videos i don’t understand longer than like ten seconds, and with a lack of subbed video content there’s only so much i know about personalities so i’ll have to mostly stay away from there,,,,, i’m sorry)

Music Videos Yeehaw:

Missing

Wolf Baby

Spectrum

Utopia (it’s a dance practice technically but i fuckin love that song)

Game Changer has an mv i think but it’s blocked in my country (and no, i don’t have a VPN :( i don’t trust myself to download things anymore))

Blogs on Tumblr:

@hohyeon-anti (translations and other things, they’re gr8)

@bapwoo (gifs and other things, they’re also gr8 and helped me out when i went full stan)

(i can’t give u pointers on any other platform i don’t use twitter sorry; hopefully those guys can fill in my blanks tho)

discord (i snagged the one from bapwoo bc that’s the one i joined?? idk if it’s the same as the one hohyeon-anti runs and honestly i’m too afraid to check yeehaw edit: have recieved confirmation, they’re the same)

Translation Accs on Youtube (that I know of)

Rising Subs (inactive; last upload was 1 year ago)

TRCNG Subs (inactive; last upload was 1 year ago)

(just as a side note there’s this great channel that does crack for them it’s adoringguk check them out too it’s not optional they’re funny)

Other better guides:

An Actual Helpful Guide to TRCNG (it’s like 40 minutes tho, the price we pay for helpful rip)

An unhelpful guide to TRCNG (shorter and from November 2017, a month after debut, but still a goody it’ll hand u the basics)

An introduction they did on Arirang/Pops in Seoul (i don’t know how to introduce this one rip)

Members (i’m using their kprofiles page to make sure i’m not spreading inaccurate facts):

again, i can’t speak for personalities beyond intuition so unfortunately most of these are gonna be p short i’m sorry take it with a grain of salt (most of my knowledge comes from the 20 or so odd subtitled vids on the channels i linked + whoever posts on instagram, but there’s only so much i can glean from short captions, and some people post there like once in a blue moon so,,, sorry)

(if people have anything to add go for it i’ll credit)

Yang Taeseon

September 2000

leader

lead vocalist

a whole beanstalk (5′ 11″ / 182 cm) {most of them are beanstalks honestly what are they feeding them}

why are most of the clips i see of him screeching from somewhere offscreen i adore him

Kim Jihun

January 2000

oldest

lead vocalist

he played the violin (so as a viola i am duty bound to duel him)

had an acting career

gets overexcited and is probably going to hurt himself (fell off his chair once rip love him)

Choi Hayoung

August 22 2000 (s o o n)

main vocalist

speaks english (he lived in LA at one point wow fancy)

s i r e n n o i s e (it’s almost as bad as the one by my house damn dude what are your lungs)

knows / is friends w nct haechan (we stan intergroup friendships) (thx bapwoo)

Lee Hakmin

September 2000

kprofile has him listed as ‘vocalist, dancer’ and i don’t know enough about roles to disagree

he’s left handed nerd

jongup fanboy no 1 (thx bapwoo)

Jo Wooyeop

September 2000

vocalist, dancer

likes coffee; nickname ‘sweet caffeine’ bc he’s sweet & likes coffee

can do a minion impression (honey i love u but you’re on THIN FUCKIN ICE)

reportedly has two dogs, the intellectual (thx bapwoo)

Kim Jisung whaaaat another kpop jisung whatever will we do

December 2000

high rapper

child actor (i’m pretty sure he met / did a show with nct’s jisung but don’t quote me on that; there’s so many jisungs it could have been any of them) (bapwoo says it’s cursed and we do not speak but idk car wash balloon jisung is still p cute)

(i had to add the pic jisung honey i’m sorry)

had braces pre-debut

a little bit camera shy in some of those old videos (dunno if it still stands)

HIS MIND WTF SOME OF THE THINGS HE’S WRITTEN (here’s an example, another example)

Kim Hyunwoo

January 2001

low rapper, dancer

him n jisung trained the longest

he’s got this lil peace sign like thing i keep seeing him doing n it’s cute

voice so deep it’s illegal excuse u

has a cat (thx bapwoo) (ARE THERE PICS OF THE BAB IDK I LOVE CATS dogs are great but they scare me rip)

Yoo Siwoo

May 2001

low rapper

SPEAKS RUSSIAN HOW COOL IS THAT

lived in Kyrgyzstan for awhile, kprofiles says 7 years but i cannot confirm (thx bapwoo)

breaking: siwoo’s hair in missing era kills hundreds, more at ten

Lee Hohyeon

October 2001 (he’s younger than me and yet oodles more talented how is this possible)

main rapper

writes lyrics for their albums w jisung (w ow)

reportedly hosted The Show w Youngjae (i’m assuming a bap member but i didn’t stan rip) (thx bapwoo)

Kim Kangmin

November 2001

main vocalist, maknae

also wore braces pre-debut

damn good at bboying (second video on this insta post he’s like a helicopter wtf where did physics go)

does short covers of various songs (his bad guy cover killed me; i can’t listen to the original anymore like i’m sorry i just can’t)\

i’d look up more shit but i already spent like 2 hours on this rip and i think that’s p good for the basics; again for older stans pls correct me or add to this if you need/want

THANK U FOR LOOKING THESE BOYS DESERVE THE WORLD

[loghainmactir]

hewwo! i was wondering if u could pls give me some advice on starting my transition? ive been so scared to start bc of family and costs but ive decided to just. do it. yknow? like if i don't ill probably die lol. u look amazing and rly confident in yourself in all ur selfies and one day i wanna be Like That ✌️❤️

hi! ok, so first of all: yeah, i absolutely can give u advice, and second of all: i remember feeling exactly like you did. it literally wasn’t that long ago, either, it was like. 2013/14/15 (i can’t remember, time is fake, whatever lmao!). third of all: bless u yr so sweet. i still have a lotta issues with confidence (i doubt myself, my talent and what i can do literally hourly), but honestly? i love my body right now. it’s a good, genderless body, goddamnit.

long, long post ahead bc i’m trying to think of things i did and good god please take it with a grain of salt because a lot of this is just me ranting about things i wish I’D done in my own position. i’m also coming from a place where HRT and surgeries AREN’T free, so that’s also A Thing. everyone’s experience is different.

transitioning (particularly medically) really super fuckin varies country by country (and honestly probably even state by state, age by age and fuckin gender by gender because cis people won’t let us fucking BE goddamn): i don’t know where you are, so my only tips there r: find a trans friendly doctor/endo (i was kinda forced to go through a hospital bc That Was How It Was here in good ol’ Australia), and one people wholeheartedly recommend, if you wanna go that route.

my first point is make sure you find safe spaces in every goddamn aspect of your transition. medically, socially, physically. if you think your doctor is refusing you treatment or is discriminating against you, you NEED to ditch that doctor. if your friends and family are really verbally or physically violent against LGBT folks, you NEED to leave that space if you can (or not come out and wait until you can leave. seriously. i’m kinda lucky– my grandma was verbally violent against LGBT folks, and initially my mum was skepitcal, but i convinced them both to go to a group for LGBT+ parents and friends and they slowly turned around). get yourself friends, get yourself allies.

i cannot stress that enough. my first doctor refused to send my referral letter to the royal children’s hospital gender clinic because even tho he presented as a “nice” guy, he believed that because this was “”””out of the blue”””” for me, he figured he’d just Not Send It (and tried to tell me that a lotta kids there didn’t actually helpo, lol). so there i was, a young 15-16 year old alister, waiting like 2-3 months for something that didn’t even get fucking sent.

join trans groups on facebook and in real life. seriously, they’re a godsend; there’s buy-and-sells, advice posts, encouragement posts. ESPECIALLY local ones. most of them on facebook are private, meaning no one can see if you’re posting/in the group, and it’s easy to check if they’re not. these fb pages + local groups are good ways to find trans friendly spaces and doctors. i found my current doctor, who’s actually one of the very few doctors who knows what the fuck he’s on about re: trans people, through a real life trans group. they were like “oh, you should see x”, and even though he’s about 30-40 minutes away from me, he’s brilliant and honestly saved my life.

along those lines: figure out what you want from your transition, and then realize & accept that this may change (and it also may not change!). very early on, i was super insistent that i wanted phalloplasty and to wear packers, and now i couldn’t care less. at first, i identified as agender, and then as a trans guy/ftm, and now i identify as a Black Hole (i’m kidding, don’t @ me). like, a lotta people DON’T change their minds. but i did, some people do, and it shouldn’t be anyone’s business but your own what you want to do with your body 

(sidenote: this also goes for detransitioning or stopping medical transition but continuing to socially transition/present differently. literally, it’s fine. it’s your body. fuck anyone who says otherwise.)

again: FUCK ANYONE WHO SAYS OTHERWISE.

your body is literally your body. do NOT let anyone tell you what to do with it or who you are. i had people very early on scream at me (legitimately scream and throw me out of home, thanks grandma), tell me i wasn’t actually trans, and harrass me for this shit: but frankly, if i’d put myself back in the closet, i wouldn’t be alive right now. i would’ve killed myself years ago, and i wish i wasn’t kidding. if it’s safe, you need to stand up for your own body and your rights and put yourself somewhere that will allow you to follow through. you need to keep going and keep living.

my only other two pieces of advice are “patience, baby”– like, for real, every single part of transition takes time. this varies from where you are and who’s supporting you, but it’s generally true. it takes time for people to accept new names and pronouns 

(lotta people get furious about this, and i used to be one of those people, but hindsight’s a bitch and you gotta realize that… like, it’s hard for some cis people. you gotta give them a little bit of wiggle room, especially if they’ve never ever met a trans person before. it’s about reminders, reminders, reminders: which is SO hard if you’re not safe/don’t have the confidence. there IS a flip side to this though: if chad and stacey have known your new pronouns for months, now, and they keep “””slipping””” up, they’re not slipping up, honey. they’re doing it on purpose. kick their teeth in i’m kidding please don’t do this you know what i mean.)

it takes time for HRT to kick in. it takes time to gather a Look™ of your own you like, it takes time to build confidence to even tell people, it takes time to save up money for surgeries and it just… takes time. sometimes because it’s a naturally slow process, sometimes because cis people are Cis People and like to gatekeep. i remember being very young in my transition, sitting in the car after one of my appointments with the afformentioned shithead doctor bawling my eyes out because he’d told me i wouldn’t be able to access t for x amount of time and it was bullshit. this year i’ll be 2 years on t. wild, huh? there’s a lot of us and not equal amounts of resources (ESPECIALLY in public systems) depending on where you are, so you gotta be prepared to WAIT.

i’ll tell you what super helped me through those years: hyping myself up for other things! i still have the ticket from my first twenty one pilots show. that show meant SO much to me. i cried all through it, because waiting for that show kept my mind off of the wait for my royal children’s appointments (and even waiting to go up to melbourne bc my mum and i would go and get kebabs was a good thing to focus on!). keep things that aren’t trans related on hand (seriously i struggled with this because dysphoria and shit is fucking hard!! it’s easy to say but really fucking hard to put into practice).

(one day i’m gonna tell tyler and josh just how much they saved my goddamn life. i know they hear it weekly, but i will.)

my other thing is that uh. it won’t solve all your problems especially if you’ve got mental illnesses. this is a really fuckin depressing thing i had to drill into my brain, but it really helped. transitioning solved SO many of my issues. i no longer have back issues (thanks, like, literal kilo titties, lmao), i no longer have sore ribs and i can breathe and wear shirts. i lost so much weight (and am kinda gaining it back, but whatever). i no longer have anxiety about whether people can tell i’m binding– which is WILD because i used to stress the fuck out about it to the point where i never went out anywhere. i used to sit on the bus wondering if the person next to me could tell i had titties. now it literally doesn’t even register.

my issues now stem from PTSD, depression, BPD and ADHD. how do you fix this? you don’t. but what HAS helped is finding a therapist who won’t pressure you into talking about trans shit. lemme tell you: this shit gets exhausting after the fifth time of “oh i googled ‘can you become a boy’ when i was, like, nine” (this is my go to story because this memory is so vivid). of course, there’s gonna be moments where you HAVE to: my therapist recently actively asked me to briefly run through it for my PTSD report. but otherwise we literally haven’t talked about it and that is a GODSEND (because i don’t need it. if you need it, that’s good, too!). having a therapist that you can just wordvomit at wrt anything is literally the best thing and can be super helpful– seriously, there were a few trans-related sessions where i just snarled about the bullshit gatekeeping and the bastard i had to see for my therapist letter (oooh, every time i think abt the fact that it was something like $400-500 for two fucking sessions i get so mad lol), but outta 14 it’s really only like 2-3 of them.

but yeah. that’s it. i dunno, these are things that i’ve learnt and sorta… like to think as helpful for myself. of course, this could be different for you: you’re not me, you’re entirely different, in no doubt an entirely different country, social, financial, mental state. i was FUCKED UP when i first came out. i didn’t know that then, but i do now. i spent a lotta time by myself and that’s not healthy, so i really encourage you to reach out to our community, local and worldly, because oh my god, we’re here for you. we are SO here for you.

[jojosbabe]

I don't know if I'll get hate for this but fuck it.

Spoilers?:

I don't like anne(ann? I dunno). Nor did i ever care for anne. She adds nothing for the story. Slows down the crusaders. Is in the way. Her crush thing on joot is weird. (Would be better if she looked up to him as a big bro instead of a weird crush but thats besides the point)

Anne serves nothing more than a pointless part and trope of quicky funny sidekick kid.

Also tho i hate anne she didnt deserve the ape scene. That was uncalled for. Seriously araki just no.

We could do without the ape also thank you.

But yeah.

Anne. Yeet her home. Plz.

Every time i rewatch and reread stardust crusaders. I just get frustrated whenever i see anne.

If i could change anything in crusaders. And only one thing. It would be to write her out all together. It wouldn't change hardly anything of the plot. We'd still get the same result.

Srry anne lovers. But its true.

She's useless. If she was written better sure. But ultimately. No. She's a pointless character with no sympathy from me.

I dont say this to many kid characters,as i give em a chance because well their kids,but anne no,you didn't do anything for me since the chapter you showed up in. So if you irritate me. You deserved it.

Of all the small kid sidekicks. Anne is not well liked by me.

The others id take over her any day.

Shigechi was useful. Annoying but useful. And i felt bad when he died.

Poco still useful more than anne. Sadly.

Koichi. Annoying but hey he is the main trio. So hes cool. But he should stay in morioh and chill,no offense. But josuke or oku should have gone to Italy. Along with avdol(araki i will never forgive you for killing him off twice. I love you. But no.) Instead of polnareff because polnareff got shafted in his character. I felt nothing for him in part 5. I felt nothing in part 5 period but thats besides the point. Like polnareff was done dirty.

Part 5 vento is a rushed weak of a jojo part. And people put it thru so much rose tinted glasses. All because the character look like they came out of a barbie glam magazine or something. Great fashion. But not Italian mafia. And not well written either. Its not arakis high moment for sure.

While i dont care for part 8. Im glad he is honed his craft in storytelling. Thank god.

I will give him that much.

But this went off track.

Back to anne.

I feel like if araki made anne more sympathetic and gave her a proper story. Maybe we'd like her. But nope. It didnt happene. So off to the trash can with anne.

Anyways enough ranting? Vent? I dunno. This is more my personal opinions. Take it with a grain of salt.

Have a great night y'all. Stay warm. Its cold af out there.

[norman-reedus-gossip-mod]

Bulk... last one

Anon:I don’t think NR himself had to delete any hate comments (while filimg at the same time…). The (5 or 6) accounts hating on his IG were created solely to slander him. They got called out by a lot of people, they got reported by people like me for spamming and harassement. And the IG support deleted them rather quickly within hours so of course their posts were deleted, too.

Anon:I can’t help but think everyone wtf-ing over what’s going on with NR and DK is so similar to what happened when NR got with CS. Everyone was totally confused then too because he was spending as much time as possible with her while simultaneously denying her existence. I’m seeing a pattern here.

Anon:Since I’m new to all this “gossip”, I have a question about this anon in your bulk, “Sadly he is still in his fwb with her and the other lady who we won’t name out of respect even tho he wants more with her” OK, fwb is DK, but who is the other lady? Is it an old g/f? I’m so lost, help. ~~mod~~ not sure. try one of the blind gossip site its probably something to do with a reveled blind.

Anon:This is for the fans who comment “don’t assume things, let them have privacy, he has to keep quiet to protect her”. Read this carefully. It is FACT, not speculation, that DK pays paps and tabloids for those pics and articles. The pic of her leaving NYC was set up, down to her accessories. And the Barcelona pap pic. They could easily have privacy, just dont tip off the paps! She clearly wants to go public, he doesn’t. So NR fans worried about his privacy should take it up with Diane!

Anon:Wow, for fans of NR you all sure don’t give him credit for being a loyal friend. You think he will dump her just because a handful of hateful fans are hurt? What kind of friend would that be? And I will never get how you all KNOW she paid for the pap shots. Did you see the receipt for the job? Someone got lucky and sold those shots to TMZ. That’s all. Why don’t you let him have a life? She may not be someone who you would pick but you didn’t. He did.

Anon:I understand nobody on this blog likes to believe blinds but the truth is they have all been right all along and today they are saying DK was allowed to Spain on a drunk upset promise from Norman if she did not call the paps. She broke that promise. Apparently she 100% called the paps and there is stuff the source cannot reveal at the moment but something big went down.~~mod~~ its not that I or we don’t believe , it just something they are right, sometimes wrong, made completely up or is a combo of all of them. just like any gossip site. Grain of salt.

Anon:Hi mod, i have a question!! Daily Mail also published some DK pictures in Barcelona. Do you think she paid them?~~mod~~ possible or they picked it up from Just Jared.

Anon:I know your bulk post is already gonna be a little crazy, but the one thing I find odd is this. DK and N were seen like once together last year, if they’ve been hiding a secret relationship, wouldn’t there be more photographic proof? If they are doing the hippity dippity, it’s got to be a recent development. Am I extremely naive for thinking this?~~mod~~ not naïve at all. everyone has their own take on what they thing is going on based on what we can see

Anon:This poor guy will NEVER be able to have any kind of normal relationship with anyone. Most of these rabid fans, deep down, are shitting bricks BECAUSE THEY think they will one day have some random chance with NR. Seriously..what the fuck other reason is there? He doesn’t owe anyone one fucking bit of explanation. You DO NOT KNOW THE MAN AND WILL NEVER ON A PERSONAL LEVEL. No wonder he takes Cookie with him everywhere. Some of you sound fucking dangerous. I don’t blame him.

Anon:NR and DK have been spotted together more and more frequently in the past few months. Do you think it’s on purpose? As in their way to test the waters and see how people will react to their relationship? Or do you think they are just recently starting to see each other more often and becoming closer?

Anonymous said: DK may be awesome, she may be a b***h. I don’t know, but I do think NR is disrespecting her. She dated JJ. This isn’t her first time around the block. She gets the internet hate, it’s not new to her. She is worth more than Norman. She hasn’t hid her previous relationships. Why now? To protect NR? Ridiculous. She is hiding her idenity in a hoodie? He needs to man up and accept her. He’s not that famous. I say this as a Norman fan, but also as a woman.~~mod~~ fair point

Anon: Going through the comments on all the sites posting NR & DK fiasco.. the one consistency is that N is a drinker, has to be carried out of bars and this is as early as last summer. Lots of mean posts about his looks and hygiene and his love of the younger women at cons. I know he’s not everyone’s cup of tea, but I’ve never seen this much hate that isn’t in connection with the whole affair (or whatever it is). Makes me sad.

Anon:I dunno about this. I don’t think Norman is lying. I don’t think he would put out an official statement saying they were just friends if he were going to be immediately caught in that being a lie just two weeks later. I can’t explain her behavior but unless they officially come out I don’t know if this is anything other than a publicity stunt going horribly wrong.

Anon: In which galaxy is it a bad thing to remove abusive posts from your own sm accounts? The entitlement is strong in these people. They want access to his private life, they want to dictate his private life, they want their abusive messages all over his sm. Jesus. They need to back away from their keyboards because this isn’t normal behavior. Its very ironic as they’re the ones saying he’s a terrible person yet they are spouting threats and abuse and having obsessive and intrusive behaviors.

Anon: Honestly, the reason N won’t admit to a relationship is because his ego is as big as his bank account. All the little girls will stop liking him and he’ll have no fans. Stop being a pussy Norman, own up to it and maybe you’ll gain respect because you were honest!

Anon: When Norman is silent on the DK situation he gets berated by “fans” saying he needs to man up and stop trying to hide. When he does speak up and his reps say they are just friends he gets accused of being a liar and trying to deceive fans. If he came out and said they were in a romantic relationship he would be dragged for having a bad taste in women and be called a fool and a cheat. He literally cannot win. There is no outcome that would make these “fans” happy. I feel so sorry for Norman.

sissibr69 : What did you want him to say in the press release? I like this girl and to have sex with her, who is also wanting, but at that moment we do not want to, or we can not have a commitment and we continue to have sex and see what will happen ….?You do not say that in a press release, you could only say they were just friends. If he had done that, he would have been unkind and mean to her.Normam Reedus likes so much of controversy, that we have in another site another rumor reserve waiting for us, with another person, who is a real novel and is connected to this.Talk bad, but talk about me. I think that’s the current relationship status of this couple.I like him, he seems like a nice guy. I do not think you’re a liar or a cheater.This is his best blog and Mod you are what makes the job more serious and free as a moderator. Congratulations! ~~mod~~ are you flirting with me sissibr69? I like it

hifilightslow: You are a saint if you read though those bulk posts. I couldn’t stop cackling. Those pics of DK are fab. I wish she would have went with the black glasses that have the fake nose and mustache though to keep herself incognito. Oh well maybe next time.~~mod~~ dead

Anon:Well, Feralcatpro has had some very telling IG posts since Sunday … can’t help but think it’s related to the DK/NR debacle. And I think HC put DK on notice by liking her pic. She’s watching you, DK.

Anon:So Mod, what’s your verdict after Spain. Do you think they are indeed dating and in a relationship. I think I am the only person who really does believe they are just good friends that hang out.~~mod~~ you not the only one. I don’t have a verdict. mainly because I don’t care, is that bad. whatever they are or aren’t doing it just looks weird.

Anon:Mod I think it was a publicity stunt for her. Ppl are saying that they were trying to hide and it’s not true b/c Norman took fan photos with DK there like he was showing that he had NOTHING to hide. The fans calling her his gf were just assuming that b/c he was with a woman. DK then goes and strolls the streets of Barcelona (which isn’t hiding no matter how much she wanted it to look like she was) so this sounds like a piss poor publicity stunt gone wrong and has made Norman look TERRIBLE.~~mod~~ he needs a nap maybe

Anon:Very interesting …. Helena liked DK’s throwback modeling photo. Wonder if that’s her subtle way of saying she’s watching her? Also, Liz has been posting some pretty interesting messages. Just an observation.

Anon:I wonder if Norman could give Diane some tips on how to give the paparazzi the slip? I mean he’s never papped in NYC at his place, Best Buy, where the f***ever. Fan pics sure but no paps. Diane apparently gets followed on her own street, doing her laundry every week, in NYC, LA, Spain! In fact the only time all year NR was papped for tabloids was while in a parking garage with DK…right after the paps had caught her alone on the street. Crazy, right?! Those paps sure do seem obsessed w/DK! 😒~~mod~~ is this sarcasm. are you making a funny anon

Anon:Maybe unpop opinion but what did Norman say or do in Spain that was shady? He said DK is “just a friend”. She was there/on his bike while he was with fans. How is that being shady? Meanwhile, it’s *Diane* who 1) got a NYC pap pic w/her luggage 2) showed on IG she was in Europe 3) Got her pap shot “hiding” in Spain 5) Has a deal w/DM for every article. Fandom: Ever wondered why there are never “Norman sneaks to meet Diane” pics or Norman-centric tabloid articles? Why the focus is DK? Wake up.

Anon:if you were lucky to be dating NR and it wasdecided by the two of you that being discreet is necessary because the celebrity status needed to be managed due to professional impact would you wear the same identifiable clothing that your were pap in NY in Spain while you were with him in public? You would if you wanted the world to know it’s me folks, DK. All the lies are now truths and then some. NR needs to get his shit straight. His publicist looks like a freakin idiot and lousy professional.

[themarginalartist]

Can I get your opinion on something?

Sure I guess? I dunno if I’ll be able to give you anything helpful tho? I’m still working on cleaning stuff up and junk so I might not answer immediately. Also when I do make sure you take my opinion with a grain of salt, I’m def not qualified to talk about a lot of things.