#dulcinea is a bit sad but she knows that it’s for the better

[cosmicheartz]

I’ve been binging taopib and I wanted to talk more abt my au where team friendship ends up in San lorenzo

So here’s some bullet points!

So I think the timeline between taopib and pibtlw is like around 10ish years? Idk the shrek timeline that great so I think a decade makes sense. So the orphans are older! Vina, Toby and Kid pickles are late teens/early 20s and Esme is in her early teens. Idk abt the other orphans who show up and idk if Cleevil is still like around bc tulpa but if she’s still around she’d be in her early-mid 20s

Oh and the citizens of San Lorenzo still retain their memories of Puss. He’s basically like this hero/legend and Dulcinea and the people who were around during the adventures of puss in boots tell stories about him to the younger orphans

The reason Dulcinea wasn’t around in the puss in boots movies despite her leaving at the end with puss is bc due to her being a Tulpa she’s basically tethered to San Lorenzo so she had to go back or she’d basically disappear. She’s currently running the orphanage ( Señora Zapata is still alive btw she just decided to pass down the role of head of the orphanage to Dulcinea ) she misses Puss but has mostly moved on and is doing well for herself.

How the whole au starts is that team friendship end up in the thieves market by chance ( also Puss was feeling nostalgic ). Perrito accidentally gets separated from puss and kitty and stumble upon the orphans, who are doing some shopping for Dulcinea ( Dulcinea sent Vina, Toby and Kid Pickles and Esme tagged along ) they end up bringing Perrito back to San Lorenzo bc they’re like “ well we can’t leave this dog in the thieves market to possibly get killed or something

So they Bring Perrito back to Dulcinea and is like “ can we keep him please?? “ ( note: Perrito is very confused on what is going on but is going along with it ) Dulcinea is unsure bc yknow this dog is an outsider from San Lorenzo.

She and Perrito have a conversation and she asks if he has any family or friends and he inadvertently brings up Puss in the his reply and Dulcinea is like “ wait Puss as in Puss in boots? “ and Perrito is like “ Yep I’m his best friend and therapy dog “ ( cue Zapata butting in being like “ good he needed therapy “ )

Meanwhile Puss and Kitty are trying to find Perrito and Puss gets hit with an oh fuck moment and realizes that Perrito might be in San Lorenzo. Kitty is like “ wtf are u talking abt? “ and Puss has to explain all the shit that went down in San Lorenzo and is like “ we have to go to San Lorenzo but it’s a huge risk since I’m not allowed there bc if I go back then all the things that happened will end up happening again “

[starberry-cupcake]

We are done with book 1, folks!!!

previously, in gideon the ninth

this happened

also, I was proven right about dulcinea (kind of)

just pointing that out again

final update of this book, it's gonna be a bit of a long one, folks (gideon, from inside my mind, where she is now living rent-free: "that's what she said!"):

we left off in the fight against not!dulcinea

yandere simulator twin w/inner chad was being used as a battery pad

regina george twin is at an unknown location

la gideon and my qp wife are fighting

harrowcita passed out

so basically not!dulcinea unlocks the big magnus archives entity monster harrowbean had previously locked

harrow wakes up to make a bone dome

for scale, this is the dome and mickey is gideon, but she's inside the thing

magnus archives junji ito monster keeps beating the dome from outside to crack it open like an egg

harrowbean starts to disintegrate from the inside because it's hard to make a bone spaceship earth and keep it up

camilla is accepting fate at this point, my poor beloved qp wife

but la gideon is not gonna give up

she's never gonna give you up

never gonna let you down

never gonna...

so harrow starts making a goodbye speech

reminding gideon to take care of the ninth and the barbie in the freezer

for the barbie reference, please go to this recap

but gideon is determined to come up with a plan

*very niche reference but "bien warrior" by miss bolivia plays in the background*

we all know this is a terrible idea because gideon's plans are always "punch really hard" and, in this case, that's a wild thing to do

but she does that

a metal version of that

she decides to, if I understand correctly (because description is scarce for various acceptable reasons) impale herself on the iron spikes inside the dome, to force Harrow to slurp her soul

so this is the situation

absolutely heartbreaking stuff

she's sort of ghost-placing herself behind Harrow to guide her using the sword

like this

and being all silly and gideon-esque and harrow is heartbroken and sad and it's all very very heartbreaking and I'm suffering

I'm ANGRY, OK????

IT'S NOT FAIR

I didn't even like gideon at the start

I complained about her for like a good first chunk of this book

I got mad at her for being dense and not following through with things

I got angry at her way of approaching situations and trusting people I didn't trust

I didn't totally vibe with her vibe most times

and then she made me like her and grow attached and NOW I HAVE TO SUFFER???

what's the point????? you make me like you and then you SACRIFICE YOURSELF?????

WHY??????

footage of me

anyway, it's fine, we're fine, everything's FINE

harrow and force-ghost gideon defeat not!dulcinea by aiming at the "issue" palmolive started

( @lady-harrowhark "paramedics" is actually a much better nickname, why didn't I think of that)

not!dulcinea crosses the veil, hopefully forever, good riddance bitch, you really did fuck everything up for petty reasons

harrow passes out

afterwards, harrow wakes up in like a sort of hospital situation or something like that

the space version of that

there's a man reading stuff in a tablet and a paper

a "flimsy", which I didn't know was something before this book (again, not a native English speaker, doing my best here)

the man has very specific eyes which I imagined in a way that I'm not sure is what it's supposed to be, but I'm gonna keep my version for now

this is the man of the hour, the emperor, many other titles I can't remember, the reason we all got together in the first place

harrow is upset, I'm upset, we're all upset

emperor sama over here can't do shit about it

according to him

which, what are you, the wizard of oz?

he's also like "forgive not!dulcinea, it was my bad" I WILL FORGIVE NOTHING

he says he can't bring gideon back without risking harrowbean as well

very limited for a man who claims to be god

who seems to have beef with a barbie in an ice cube

idk about this guy

so he tells harrow that he's gonna protect the ninth if she becomes lyctor because the universe is going to shit and he can't handle everything on his own anymore

you know what could have helped, my man? COMMUNICATION

WE DON'T KNOW WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING AT ANY GIVEN POINT

anyway, harrow is, at this point, tired and sad and grieving for everything so she says ok

according to this guy, the only other survivor is yandere simulator twin w/inner chad who is missing an arm

very convenient for him, who needs lyctors

an didn't, at any point, explain anything

but they "haven't been able" to find the bodies of: la gideon, my wife and regina george twin

everyone else was, at least, partially recovered, as far as I remember he said

they're probably gathering pieces of palmolive from every carpet and piece of wallpaper

I am reluctantly gonna miss that guy

so there is hope that I'm not a qp widow yet and that la gideon might come back in some capacity, which I MEAN, COME ON

also, I don't know if people would be making such a fuss about her arms if her body wasn't of consequence anymore

because I don't know much about these books but I did know that coming in, that and skull make up were my two clues

and we still don't know where she came from and if she's a demigod

and why her hair and eyes are that color

I don't know, I'm unsure about this

I hold hope

keeeeeeep hoooooolding ooooooon ♪

I am sure regina george twin will be back because people have been cryptic about her in replies to my updates

and I hope camilla comes back because right now I'm like a victorian wife, standing at a lighthouse, waiting for her sailor to come back from the depths of the sea, throwing messages in bottles

final extra notes:

THERE WAS A GLOSSARY ALL ALONG

I COULD HAVE BEEN LOOKING AT IT

maybe it was better this way, though, but WHY DIDN'T I LOOK PROPERLY

PALMOLIVE WOULD KILL ME FOR THIS OVERSIGHT

now I know what thanergy is, what thalergy is, what bone magic and flesh magic differ in, can you believe???

I can summon my own construct and everything

it's the only way to make friends as an adult, after all

there is a guide for the names and I have been pronouncing more things right than I thought because many of these are based in Latin and I'm a Spanish speaker so maybe if I had just pronounced them as they sounded to me I could have remembered more names

there is also a list of salseo/tea from judith

I kept making comments while reading them

she was acting like camilla was of no consequence from the start

ALSO PROTOZOA HAD KIDS?????? WHAT????

man, poor dude, rip this guy we never really knew

she did read chad for filth, which is correct

but they were off about absolutely everything else

important ending commentary of the book:

as an ending side note

I'm going to just point this out, with kindness and utmost respect

like, much love and respect and warm regards

don't kill me for this

as an editor

I am enraged with the tagline they have in the cover of this book, now that I've finished it

the quote that's in the cover about lesbian necromancers in a victorian mansion in space and whatnot

it sells the book incredibly short and also tells you things you shouldn't be told because a) they aren't as clear cut as they make them out to be and b) you should be told none of that entering this book

best experience is to know absolutely nothing

like gideon

and since I have an ebook, I see that quote more prominently than any blurb

it reads like the short summary of a fic and it doesn't do it justice one bit

now that I've finished the book, I think this post was about it and I didn't know at the time, because that's fair

this book is very difficult to categorize because it seems to be using a lot of different references and mixing them together in a very personal and unique way to the author

but, because of that, it's a very unique take on different things

I think it stands very aligned with both core classics and more contemporary foundations, at the same time

and the narrative point of view is a bit at-odds with the complexity of the lore, which makes it a very brave first part of a bigger thing for an author to throw out there

and it works, as it is

it actually works well like that

however, as difficult as it can be to explain it, that tagline really flattens it to something that I don't think favors how much more of that it is???

I don't know, that's just my personal & professional opinion, but anyway

I need to go find the next one

you haven't seen the last of me!!!!!

[7sage9]

the unwanted guest thoughts

OBSESSED with the format as a stage play... makes so so much sense for ianthe and the third house

funeral part is so cool and sexy and i wonder if thats insight into how funerals actually are on the third

palamedes' mask being shattered and glued together like his skull....

ianthe slaying in all her fits... wait this reminds me of a dream i had a while ago in which ianthe duelled someone and did a ton of costume changes... i literally predicted it

ianthe being the lady and the master of the house... unprecedented levels of gender

significance of 7 coffins?? bc of 7 original lyctors??

the VOICE!!! my first instinct was dulcie but how?? so i thought maybe babs or someone else?? but i was right!!

still unsure of significance of "did your tingue ever toungle" maybe shows ianthe not being in complete control??

not the playing strip poker with harrow...

fascinated by ianthe and pal's differing views of the job of the cavalier... to die for vs protect the necromancer

"because you never stop to check the price tag" FUCK

is palamedes actually shocked by the third house assigning cavaliers as babies or is he pretending to get ianthe to share more?

oh ortus... blown up for being sad

would love to read about one of ianthe and corona's insane birthday parties

should have seen earlier how much the gideon nav description was shaped by babs, it makes so much sense

something about ianthe disqualifying her opponents as a form of winning... she never plays fair

the more we get of her the more i LOVE DULCIE!!!

DYING to know what happened to dulcinea after harrow's river bubble collapsed

"I loved you. I love you still. I would have worked out how to love you better over time." "It would have been very beautiful. Camilla would have had to cook. But I didn't just want beautiful..." "This again? From you and her both? That merely by loving you, I added to your torments?" FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK IT REALLY ALL COMES BACK TO LOVE ALWAYS...... DYING

cant stop thinking about how ntn must have been such a cruel mirror to the domestic life they dreamed of with dulcie

"You two were my best friends, and that was real. I loved real, ugly, unfinished things. Gracelessly uncompleted things. There's freedom, too, in not ever being completed." FUCK DULCIE I LOVE YOU

its a river... there are two shores... still so curious about the river

"Was I cute?" "You're perfect." AAAAAAAAAAAAA <3 <3 <3

"would you have used your sister instead?" YES!!! THAT IS THE QUESTION!!!

"Or... Coronabeth herself is part of your goal. You can't spend her, because you'd invalidate the very thing you were trying to buy." WOAGHHH i am so so curious about ianthe's plan

THE FINAL QUESTION... THE FINAL REVEAL...

the implications of souls bleeding and mingling... first of all for the OG lyctors... how much of what we were seeing was alfred and cristabel and pyrrha (though its probably slightly different for them)?? how much of pyrrha is g1deon??

and this has SO MANY implications for the gideon harrow alecto nona situation... simultaneously makes things clearer and a lot more complicated, if there doesn't have to be an actual transfer of soul bits, but they just do it naturally when together

overall SO GOOD!!! so much analysis potential of course and also just gutwrenchingly, horribly beautiful, like everything she writes

[wifegideonnav]

fuck it. disney movie au

i’m tired of being sad about this characters and since my last au was so horrible (the tags on that post have kept me so entertained tho thank you guys lol) i’ve decided to write out a disney princess au where these poor bitches get everything they deserve. so:

we start off in drearburh and meet our heroine, gideon. the opening number begins, consisting of gideon singing about how much her life sucks with a skeleton chorus chiming in with exposition about the nine houses. everyone’s dancing

the song ends and gideon mopes around a bit, monologing about how she wishes she had a purpose, and how much she wishes she had friends. then suddenly she’s summoned to a meeting. harrow is introduced and sings about how she’s going to become a lyctor in order to help her house/her people, and how gideon is going to help her. when the song ends gideon scoffs and she and harrow get into a tame argument. gideon storms off

aiglamene comes and convinces gideon that this is her chance to finally have the purpose she’s been searching for. gideon agrees and then there’s a montage of training, putting on paint, and flying to canaan house

there’s another ensemble number where each house introduces themselves (notably, “dulcinea’s” cavalier is a woman named loveday) and then teacher comes in for the last chorus. he starts to sing another verse, but the music cuts off abruptly as he only sings one line (don’t go through a locked door without permission). everyone blinks at him, and then people disperse

gideon wakes up that night and realizes that harrow is gone. she tracks her down and finds her counting doors, and they duet about how they don’t want to work together bc they hate each other, but by the end of the song they realize they need each other and begrudgingly call a truce

the next day they find the basement, get to the key, and then find cam and pal unlocking it as they go back. there’s a quick yet dramatic swordfight between gideon and cam (and we see harrow in the background looking at gideon with embarrassed Interest) and then the 4 of them sing a song about how it’s way better to work together which ends with them being friends

[montage of team six nine exploring the lab and defeating scaled-way-back versions of the trials]

the group is sitting around discussing what they want to do once they’ve ascended and getting to know each other better when the invitation to magnus and abigail’s dinner is delivered. they split up to get ready

the dinner is going pretty well until - gasp - magnus laughingly steals abigail’s goblet, takes a swig, and then collapses to the floor. the necromancers rush over and manage to stabilize him, determining that he’s been poisoned

there’s an ensemble song as they transfer magnus to a bed and hook him up to iv’s about how suspicious they all are now. fighting is just starting to break out when abigail yells at them to stop. with all the attention on her, she explains that the poison was obviously meant to kill her, and magnus only survived because he’s twice her size. she begs them to stop fighting and work together to figure out what happened. everyone agrees and disperses

team six nine agree to divide and conquer, searching different portions of the house. we see a montage of them searching high and low. gideon sings about how she’s starting to see that helping and protecting other people is the purpose she’s been searching for

then gideon and harrow carefully creep into dulcinea’s room, which is currently empty, and start looking. gideon finds a bottle of poison hidden in one of the drawers, and shows it to harrow. harrow expresses her admiration of gideon, and then they duet about what a good team they are and how much they regret how mean they used to be to each other. the song ends with their faces very close together, but after a pregnant pause they awkwardly move apart

they assemble everyone but the seventh house and show them the poison. everyone agrees to confront dulcinea. they do so and she begins her villain reveal song, explaining that her name is really cytherea, that the she put the real dulcinea in a coma, and that she went through the same process they did and became a lyctor, but that the horrible secret of the lyctor process is that the necromancer has to take the “spark” of their cavalier, the thing that makes them “them.” there’s a break in the music where everyone goes “what??” and then cytherea resumes singing, explaining everything. she says the wanted to poison the necromancers in order to save the cavaliers, because she feels so guilty about what she accidentally did to loveday

as her song ends, surprise! the emperor (he isn’t god in this version) shows up. he cackles and the cast begins singing at him, asking why he would make them do such a terrible thing. he responds that he doesn’t care about them, he only wants more power. together, the squad is able to defeat him and put him in a necromantic, never-ending sleep

a bit later, harrow finds gideon. they talk about what they’ve been through, and how glad they are to have each other. at the end of the song, they kiss

montage: everyone packs up and leaves the first house, promising to stay friends. cytherea apologizes for what she did and reverses the poison on magnus, and promises to revive dulcinea once she gets to the seventh. harrow and gideon head back to the ninth, and set to improving the house with help from their friends

the final number is about how they actually had the power to improve things all along, they just needed to work together and support each other. gideon has her purpose, caring for the people of the ninth, and harrow’s realized that she doesn’t need to be all-powerful to change people’s lives for the better. the movie ends with one last chaste kiss, looking over the now gleaming and bright ninth house

[gveret-fic]

Alright HtN final thoughts

Similarly to the last book, I’m overstimulated to all hell and back. Gideon is my favorite protagonist of all time, no question. The sheer endorphin rush I get reading her cracking jokes and being insufferable is just bonkers. I started this book with 2 spoilers, without which I might never have even started this book: 1) there was Gideon content in HtN, and 2) there was multiple Gideons content in HtN. On the first point, I’m more than satisfied; I’m currently buzzing with how ecstatic that was as a reading experience. On the second, Gideon 1.0 was a boring lump of dude lmao, the only interesting thing about him was his bodyswap poly relationship with Better Gideon’s mom, which, wow. What a 10,000 year old soap opera. So that was disappointing, but you know what, one Gideon is really enough.

The vast majority of this book was a miserable slog and it genuinely hurt to read to the point where I don’t know that I can recommend this experience to anyone who isn’t already a huge fan. Yeah, the payoff was massive and I was played like a perfect little fiddle, but I don’t approve of the tune. I think Muir could’ve cut out a good third of the book and at the very least 50% of the relentless torture she put Harrow through and it would have still been effective. I still have a bad taste in my mouth. I don’t have a problem with difficult or hurtful stories and I’m not trying to invoke any moralistic outrage here, but that wasn’t what I expected or frankly could have prepared for coming out of the (drastically tonally different) first book and I do believe it was excessive. It was blow after blow after blow to an isolated, terrified, pointedly disabled protagonist with no single moment of relief, comfort or connection until the fucking reveal and I don’t want it, thanks.

Okay that’s enough about that. Now the rest of it.

I really tried to care about the new characters, but no dice. God had his moments, but we haven’t really seen him do too much interesting shit. Ianthe was fucking excellent, though I really really didn’t want her to be. The rest were dead boring, I’m sorry. The blasphemous makeouts were their only redeeming moment. When we finally got some Palamedes and Cam, I could have cried. Wish we could have spent more time with them, but I have high hopes for the next book. Ortus, surprisingly, was awesome! I wish him a happy afterlife with his poetic legendary husband. Also he did nothing wrong and all that nonsense about finally fighting for what’s important yada yada was pure military propaganda, let the man write lengthy poetry about his ghost boyfriend in peace. Dulcinea was a fucking badass! So happy she got a chance to shine, and to say ‘nyah!’ Abigail was also fantastic. Well that whole section of the book had me swimming in endorphins so maybe it isn’t saying much, but I fucking loved them, I fucking loved how much Harrow cared about them, Harrow, who had been an emotionally depleted husk throughout most of the book, now showing the most heartrending vulnerability and care for this little found ghost family and practically rotating through them one by one to apologize in the most terrible, gutpunching way, and finally being told not everything in the whole fucking world is her goddamn fault. This is the only reason I was able to accept no Gideon reunion, not even a single word between them. I’ve been yearning for hundreds of pages for Harrow to find human connection and care, and I’m so happy these are the people she found it with.

Gideon. I’m like tearing up right now just thinking about this. After the endless tedium, suffering, emotional disconnect to the point where characters dying horribly seemed insignificant against the backdrop of unrelenting despair, to have that vibrant, wonderful, dumbass motherfucking voice back---it was beyond cathartic. I reread every single line multiple times and I still don’t think I’ve wrung em fully dry. It was amazing. The personality dripping off the page, the immediate chemistry with any character living or dead or dull as rock, the blatant, beautiful disrespect for the sombre self importance of the whole preceding narrative. It was my favorite character crashing into one of my least favorite books, and making it awesome. I think a lot of people try to write a Gideon, and most of the time the result is completely unbearable, and I’d posit there’s 2 reasons for this: 1) they tragically, mistakenly make their Gideon a man, and 2) they just aren’t funny. Of course an unfunny Gideon would be unbearable. Of course a funny but emotionally vacant Gideon would be dull. But this Gideon is a fucking delight with a real heartfelt gooshy selfless vulnerable yearning center, and every line I got to spend with her was a rush.

Harrow and Gideon. Oof. I’ve been going back and forth on whether I shipped them, whether I even could, whether it was the intention at all. But like, come on. This is clearly a love story. It’s a love story from start to finish, and it’s cool that it got me to doubt that so sincerely when it’s just this level of ride and die, jump into hell, carve out your brain, share a body and preserve its modesty against your every instinct and not even make any jokes about it, universe crossing, death defying, soul melding level of mushy ass romance. Harrow fucking kept Gideon’s shitty sunglasses wrapped in a love note. She did find&replace on her whole personality. She kissed Ianthe. I remember the first time I watched Revolutionary Girl Utena, where almost every other episode would begin with a lil fairytail backstory recap telling you about the little girl who saw a prince and was so enamored she decided to become a prince too. And you believe that narrative, because why wouldn’t you? It’s a stylized repetitive fairytale at the start of a show. Why would it lie? And then you find out, at the very end, that it wasn’t the cool manly prince who precipitated all of this, but baby Utena witnessing another young girl in pain, and deciding then and there that she was going to grow up and help her. And she does, even if she can’t remember why.

This was that level of paradigm shift for me. Harrow and her pile of letters and rules and her obsession and her nauseating work ethic, what was she doing?? Saving the world? Fixing a broken timeline? Trying to unlock unlimited power, bring back the corpse in the locked tomb, serve her god and emperor? Nope! She was just trying to keep her big beautiful dumbass girlfriend a little bit alive. 

Yeah. It’s a fucking love story.

Random thoughts: I liked Harrow’s grudge against food and the word ‘pommel’. I liked the diminishing ages Mercy inflicted upon her. I liked the first/second person shenanigans, tho really, there’s no way that was Gideon’s voice, first of all, there was way too much anatomical knowledge there. (Gideon’s secretly a time traveling bone doctor, calling it now). I liked the fanfic AUs, and very sad we didn’t get a fake dating one or like a nice “there was only one bed”. Not gonna mention soulmate AUs cuz that’s just canon.

That was a ride. Coulda done without some parts of it, but don’t regret it one bit. Let’s see what kinda nonsense the next one brings!

[banshee-cheekbones]

The Game: List the first lines of your last 20 stories (if you have less than 20, just list them all!). See if there are any patterns. Choose your favourite opening line. Then tag some authors!

I was tagged by @elasticella (thank you! <3)

tagging: @poiregourmande, @foundyourheart, @sleepy-skittles, and anyone else who might be interested!

1. As Barry comes to a stop on the dock that extends out from Bruce’s mansion (it may not be as large as stately Wayne Manor, but it’s definitely not a mere house), they tilt their head back and take a deep inhale. (I watched the Snyder cut of Justice League and got feelings about nonbinary Barry Allen, so this happened! also, snuck in a ref to 1966 Batman, because I love that goofy show.)

2. It’s only by closing her eyes and counting backwards that Beverly is able to keep from losing control. (from a Beverly/Freddie drabble with werewolf!Beverly. getting back into writing short drabbles has been a lot of fun.)

3. Helena may be tough as hell, but she still bruises easily. (from a Dinah/Helena drabble. with these little drabbles, the first line of the fic ends up being my summary.)

4. “So, do you know anything about this woman?” (more Dinah/Helena! I think I used to start fics with dialogue a lot more than I used to, but we'll see how the next 16 fics go).

5. "There is literally sand inside of me." (From my very first Finn/Poe fic, and oops, there's another fic starting with dialogue.)

6. The following is a transcript of a holorecording that was discovered on the flight recorder of the Raddus, which was recovered in the Crait System after the cruiser's destruction. (Amilyn/Leia, written for the epistolary prompt, and this was so hard to write. It's not a format I see myself returning to anytime soon)

7. It starts off as a fairly normal night (or, as normal as can be expected in Beacon Hills). (Ah, Braeden/Melissa, the rarepair otp of my heart. I am noticing that I tend to start my fics with a single punchy line, rather than a paragraph).

8. This isn’t the first time that Pam has been in jail. (A Jessica Jones fic that's more of a case study of Pam than anything. I'm actually not a huge fan of this opener, but oh well.)

9. Ella isn’t stupid. (and the winner of the shortest opening line goes to! this is from an Ella/Maze fic that probably would have been better as actual smut, but I wasn't feeling it the day I wrote it, and so it ended up as fade to black.)

10. Helena is on her second (or maybe it’s her third) margarita, and between the unfamiliar feeling of alcohol slinking heavily into her blood and the exhaustion surely but steadily triumphing over the adrenaline still coursing through her veins, she’s feeling… strange. (from my first Dinah/Helena fic! this one is definitely an outlier lengthwise, but I like that it sets the scene.)

11. “Karen? Are you still with me?” (from a Claire/Karen fic, because we're rewatching Daredevil and I caught Feelings)

12. Camille has never met Olivia Godfrey. (from the most self-indulgent thing i've ever written, aka a Hemlock Grove/Shadowhunters crossover.)

13. Frosta knows how to be calm in the face of adversity. (another punchy sentence to start! from a gen Frosta & Glimmer fic. I've written a number of gen/platonic stuff lately, and it's been a lot of fun)

14. For weeks, Mabel has been acting suspicious. (speaking of gen fic! I fell in love with Gravity Falls in the early stage of lockdown and this was a lot of fun to write.)

15. From what Gideon has gathered from watching the rest of the cavaliers interact with their necromancers, combined with what little information she actually retained from Aiglamene, being a cavalier is nothing like what the porno magazines led her to believe. (oof, that's a long one. probably should have trimmed it. from a Dulcinea/Gideon fic.)

16. The thing is, Dani’s room looked a lot closer to the ground when she was standing outside looking up at it. (from the only fluffy Bly Manor fic I've written to date, oops. I used to start a lot of fics with 'The thing is', so I've been trying to move away from that tendency.)

17. “Are you sure that this is a good idea?” Lilith asks from where she’s kneeling between Moxxi’s legs, turning over the bright pink gun in her hands. (one of these day, I'll find someone else who appreciates this pairing as much as I do.)

18. Perfuma thinks that she may have just destroyed a Horde bot for the last time. (Perfuma/Scorpia. this sentence is a bit awkward. oops.)

19. It’s been nearly a month since they left the ocean behind, but Jaxx is still getting used to waking up to the sound of birdsong. (ah yes, the fic I wrote for The Meg, a movie I didn't even enjoy. I do like this opening line though.)

20. Despite everything, Dani didn’t think that it would end this way. (some angsty Bly Manor fic, and that opening certainly telegraphs that it's a Sad one.)

Patterns: I think I've been experimenting with some new structures lately, but my go-to is still starting a fic with a single, standalone line, that tries to set up the mood and hook the reader. I try to keep that sentence short. also, I write almost exclusively in present tense. a lot of the lines kind of open the story in the present moment, and then in the following paragraphs, I backtrack to how we got there.

Favorite: Probably number 10! It's definitely longer than most of my openers, but because of that, I think it's most effective at setting the scene! I also just really love writing Dinah/Helena.

[rocketonthemoon]

Fic: A Conversion of Faith

read on ao3

Dulcinea is seven when she meets Her. Later, much later in life, she’ll wonder if it was on purpose. If the whole thing was arranged to give it more meaning. But in that young moment, Dulcinea just fancies it’s fate. She understands fate and its cruel definitions better than most. Even as small as she is. But then, Death has a weight of matters most are blessed to ignore.. And Dulcinea is twice over burdened. 

Protesilaus is there. Newly appointed, if even that. There’s whispers of him staying longer than just a few days, of maybe someone closer to her own age. She likes him, though. Likes how large he is, how gentle. Her father’s faithful shadow that blocks the sun when her father couldn’t. But even Pro can’t block the shine She radiates.

Not radiates. That isn’t quite right. But not consuming energy either. Reclining in a chair, overlooking the hall, She seems to just Be. A block of presence. She simply just. Is. Like white noise in an already crowded room. Never growing any louder the more Dulcinea focuses - Lord, is it hard to focus on her - just. More Present. 

“Goodness, aren’t you simply a vision?” She says when Dulcinea tugs at Pro in the right direction. And the center of all that attention is more of a rush than the sweetest dessert. It’s all she can do not to ruin the perfectly wonderful moment with a cough. She fails, but only just. The Woman waits, impossibly blue eyes watching with impossibly knowing sadness. A different sort than others. Like she’s been exactly where Dulcinea is - terribly young and frighteningly old all at once. But there’s an endless vibrance in those eyes. A galaxy of life in a gaze. Dulcinea shakes at the possibility, at the hint of a promise. Of being something more than an object to direct pity and grief. 

That, and at the small stain on Her sleeve. 

“You have blood on your dress,” says the Young Mistress of the Seventh House, Duchess of Rhodes, by way of greeting. The Woman only laughs. A warm, beautiful bell chime Dulcinea will practice in secret, later, when no one can hear. 

____

Cytherea as She is called, exists on a level Dulcinea prays to some and all gods she may someday achieve. Through study, through mimicry, through sheer Will alone. It only matters that she gets to the summit. She coughs, heaves, dies, and reknits, reanimates herself back together night after night when Cytherea is gone. Which, perhaps, is more than would be allowed under circumstances. But no one but Protesilaus suspects the depths of her little habit. 

Well, maybe not simply Pro.

“You push yourself,” She says one afternoon in the garden. 

It is a good day. The weather is nice and the garden is warm. She’s only needed to sew bronchial tubing back into proper breathing structures seven times this morning. Protesilaus waits off in his corner, quietly practicing his forms or checking his holopad. Every now and then he comes to adjust the blanket over her legs. She knows it’s his way of fussing without hovering. It feels slightly like smothering. As if she can’t manage the simplest of tasks herself. But she had talked him into allowing her the crutches today. Her arms and shoulders ache pleasantly for once, the heaviness of her blood momentarily lifted. So she supposes she could let him fuss. Maybe just a bit. 

But the comment still seems pointed at her more prominent teenage rebellion.

“I must,” Dulcinea says, her voice small. Weak, she thinks, in contrast to Cytherea’s whose every word seems to be plucked effortlessly into existence. Summoned almost. Dulcinea burns with the need to know how. 

A gentle hum, steady on the midday breeze. “I didn’t mean to scold,” Cytherea says, shoulders tugging in apology. “It was mostly an observation. You just look tired.”

Dulcinea doesn’t quite know how to answer that. “Will you rest here long?”

Cytherea smiles over her sunglasses, pride at the deflection. It’s still unclear exactly the purpose, even source, of that pride. It still fills Dulcinea with warmth and lightens her next few breaths.

“Delightful,” Cytherea says under her breath. “My business has changed hands once more,” she continues at normal volume. Her glasses resume their perch high up on her nose. “Normally, I’d be more reluctant to take such a long vacation but…”

It’s a struggle not to stare. It always is for Dulcinea. There’s something that just absorbs her attention until Cytherea is all that she can see. She settles for trying to control her breathing into a somewhat normal pattern. To try and make her excitement not completely obvious. One day she might be successful. 

“But rest waits for no creature,” Dulcinea suggests instead. She attempts for breezy. Casual. Makes the words more of a whimsical sigh than a sentence. Bless whoever created sunglasses and gave the universe the ability to watch with full intention without being absolutely conspicuous.

Cytherea lets out that chiming laugh, soft as can be, and gifts Dulcinea one of her beautiful sunrise smiles. The one that means Dulcinea said something particularly clever or funny. Really, what it means is an extra hour later tonight reliving their conversation, picking the moment apart word by word. No biggie. She was going to do it anyways. 

“No creature indeed,” Cytherea says, almost to herself.

_____

“You’re back!”

She almost scolds herself at her excitement. Especially since it spurs a bit of a fit. Not much to be done about that these days. The elders say it is a miracle she’s made it to twenty at all. Protesilaus says it’s just his luck he can’t retire yet. She loves his jokes. 

Cythera smiles. It’s a tired thing today, but it is raining. The rain drains them both but even some days are worse than others. Her steps make noise against the garden path today. And there’s an echoing rattle that harmonizes with Dulcinea’s own. Wet and permanent. Something that sticks and seals and breaks apart just to stick and seal more places. 

It’s more than just the rain. 

“No Mountain-Man today?” Cytherea says in way of answer. It’s hard to watch, the way she sits. No grace at all today. She’s all limbs falling in slow motion through space. Like it’s a conscious thought instead of her natural movement. There’s still a fluidity but it’s almost viscous. Overtly intentional. Dulcinea practically vibrates trying not to pay attention. 

“Family day,” she answers. Cytherea only hums, busy trying to find a comfortable spot in her chair. “Did you finish your project?”

They almost heave in unison - Cytherea in surprise and Dulcinea in close sympathy. From somewhere across the field, a servant mutters about the tragedy of a beautiful silence. Or maybe it’s just Dulcinea’s thoughts finally sprung to life. 

“Project,” Cythera hums after wiping blood from her chin with the heel of her hand. It shines in cloudlight. Matte gleaming against alabaster. Not for the first time Dulcinea dreams of cleaning those hands herself. Quiet and tender and utterly devoted. “Is that what I called it last?” That, of all things, gives Dulcinea pause. Matte red meets the pale, pale pink of Cytherea’s mouth and it’s thunder rolling through Dulcinea’s veins. The Woman in the chair next to her is suddenly a storm of fury. Of something far, far older than Dulcinea really knows how to place. Old and Dark. Dark enough to turn her trembling into something far more childlike. Thunder rolls and lightning cracks beyond the garden enclosure. Cytherea breathes a heavy death rattle and Dulcinea struggles to give her the air from her own lungs.

“Will you hate me, child?”

Dulcinea’s shivers pick up in violence. It’s hard to hear now. Between her blood strangling her eardrums and the rain pelting the plexi that encloses the garden she can barely make out the words. But she hears the depth of sadness, hears it echo across the space between their garden chairs. The same her parents look at her with every time she coughs. The same that Protesilaus says her name with on a bad day. The same she knows that the boy on a far away planet must speak about her to his friends. 

She wants to scream. Wishes for once in her life for the strength to physically launch herself into Being. To prove she is more than this sad sack of blood and tendons and bones. Much more than the pitied useless thing they see her as. That she is worth the pride exactly one being has looked at her with.

“Never,” she says instead, muscling down the clot of air that threatens to betray her strength. The effort burns away at her skin, her veins, the very fiber of her essence. 

Cytherea for her part just looks old. Terribly, awfully old. It only makes Dulcinea shake harder. Harder still when Cytherea’s hand reaches to rest on her sallow cheek. 

“God has left us, child.” Cytherea says the words almost like a prayer. Her thumb wipes at a spot of blood Dulcinea missed. There’s more care and understanding in such a small movement than entire lifetimes of pampering. Dulcinea closes her eyes. It feels wrong to watch her hero cry. “God has left you.”

There’s a press of lips to her forehead. Dulcinea lets the tremors sit. Lets them both feel the moment.

“You haven’t,” she breathes her own prayer.

“Never, child. Never.”

[rocketonthemoon]

Fic Write Meme!

I got tagged this morning by @wonderbreadnicoinwonderland this morning which hey! Thanks so much :D

(also a general reminder you can find all my writing either here or on ao3)

Fandoms: Privately, I’ve written for a bunch - James Bond, Pirates of the Caribbean, Batman even once -  and on FFnet you can find a Hunger Games one shot collection I wrote my first year of college, but for a long time now it’s pretty much solely Sailor Moon with occasional dips into other gay things.

Number of fics: Oh jeez.... Between all three platforms I’ve ever published and my compulsive Cross Archiving there’s... around 75 fics total I’ve written with 16 at least being WIPs but I’m pretty confident that number is higher than I think it is, I’m just terrible about labeling things nowadays.

Fic I Spent the Most Time On: “Pictures of Us” easily is my longest running collection and technically speaking is not completed. But One Fic by itself that’s completed would probably be And Then There Were... only because combine my need to edit while writing and making sure it made sense with the nursery rhyme it took me ages

Fic I Spent the Least Time On: Not counting any parts of PoU, Wake Up took me almost no time. I’m still to this day astounded how quickly I got that one done, but it was definitely a midterm week fic.

Longest Fic: I am famously brief and struggle hard with anything over about 500 words. Pictures of Us is the longest in terms of “chapters” with 70 and 24K+ words, while my Hunger Games collection clocks in at 20 chapters with 36K words.

Shortest Fic: Again a Pictures of Us entry I think - Number 3 and 70 both come up as 108 words.

Most Hits: According to the stat counter on FFnet, Pictures of Us has 116,889 hits! holy shit!

Most Kudos: “A Dressing Down” with 142 on Ao3 pretty much cause it’s my only smut fic AND one of my few fics over a thousand words. Still a fun one though.

Most Comment Thread: Almost none of my fics get comments.... And i’ve no good way for tracking comment threads or the like on things here on Tumblr so probably it’s Picture of Us cause I think back in the day I had one or two regular reviewers who would respond back to me saying thanks once or twice.

Most Bookmarks: Bookmarks like Ao3 uses them it’s “A Dressing Down” again with 15. Although my Hunger Games Collection had 123 Favorites? Which I kinda remember being bookmarks? or something like that? So probably that one. 

Total Word Count: So according to my math of things I have logged on actual typed up documents I’ve got 180,581 words of fanfiction written.... damn. 

Favorite Fic I Wrote: I’ll be honest, “Call and Response” is still one of my all time favorite things I’ve done, both content and how happy I am with how it came out. I’m really enjoying writing a smut fic with my OT3 at the moment and it’ll probably be my favorite when I finally do get around to finishing it if only because of how self-indulgent it is for me.

Fic I most Want to Expand On/Rewrite: One of my big all time projects I wanna do is editing/transferring Pictures of Us to Ao3 since I just like their set up better and it’s just so much nicer in formatting. Otherwise it’s just a matter of getting my butt in gear and actually finishing projects I start instead of just dropping them and never getting back to them. In a perfect world tho, right?

Share a bit of a WIP/Story Idea You’re Working On:

“Goodness, aren’t you simply a vision?” She says when Dulcinea tugs at Pro in the right direction. It’s all she can do not to ruin the perfectly wonderful moment with a cough. She fails, but only just. The Woman waits, impossibly blue eyes watching with impossibly knowing sadness. A different sort than others. Like she’s been exactly where Dulcinea is - terribly young and frighteningly old all at once. But still those eyes shine endlessly more vibrant than her own. A galaxy of life in a gaze. Dulcinea shakes at the possibility, at the promise. And at the small stain on Her sleeve. 

“You have blood on your dress,” says the Young Mistress of the Seventh House, Duchess of Rhodes, by way of greeting. The Woman only tilts her head back and laughs. A warm beautiful bell chime Dulcinea will practice in secret, later, when not even Pro can hear.

tagging @thestarryskiesofpalaven  @thefaustaesthetic  @howmanyheartaches and really anyone else that wants to do it because fuck it why not????? No pressure though