#due to the birth control
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thinking hard about that post about what symptoms aren't actually normal for periods and I almost certainly have pmdd. However. I am already ON antidepressants and birth control, which are like.. the only treatments im able to find aside from like cbt. So i guess i just have to deal with it lmfao
#like yeah i get HARD hard suicidal and depressed right before my period which should be easier to deal with since i always know when it is#due to the birth control#but it always blindsides me#and i can tell that my husband is starting to get really tired of it#on the other hand. therapy is so fucking expensive so i think im just fucked#its actually almost feels like its worse now that i am on antidepressants but im pretty sure thats because before i started these meds#that empty pit of despair was my baseline for normal so i didn't notice a change lmao#idk maybe a higher dose of bc might help but thats dangerous for me because my endo is already stage 4. sigh
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Drake Siblings
Have I read this prompt somewhere or was this a fever dream from my bored mind.
What if, now hear me out.
What if we bring up Dana Winters-Drake (whose confirmed to at least be alive in the DC verse but no one knows where she actually is)
What if instead of when she had a mental breakdown and getting committed to an Bludhaven clinc she wandered away before anyone noticed and by the time Tim or anyone did notice a lot of stuff started happening at once in both Gotham and Bludhaven (Steph dying, The Bludhaven crisis, etc etc)
Tim still tries to find her though but even with best resources it was like she just disappeared into the wilderness and the stress of trying to handle more and more problems get worse.
So when out of the blue, a couple of years later, he gets a call from an unknown number. On his private, only for friends and family, phone and when he answers he meet with a young girls voice on the other end.
A very young, maybe six or seven, girl who informs him about his apparently half-brother Danny Drake-Fenton. And how she loves Danny so, so, so much but knows her home is dangerous for him to be in.
Tim is stunned and before he could question her, she says Danny is Dana and Jack's baby and that her parents had adopted him years ago and put Dana's stuff that the hospital had away for him to look at when he was older but she just had to fight off their lunch from eating her brother and she knows he needs a better place to live and so she snooped around and found Dana's diary and that she had to unscramble the nonsense Dana wrote and found Tim's number with the words 'tell him about his brother Danny' hidden in it. And-
But before she could keep rambling she hears Danny screaming "JAZZY THE MILK WENT BAD AGAIN AND HISSED AT ME!"
Tim is left with silence after hearing Jazz yell to Danny to lock the fridge and step out of the kitchen as she gets the bat.
#danny phantom#danny fenton#crossover#dp x dc#blue rambles#danny phantom dc#writing ideas#random idea#dpxdc#jazz fenton#tim drake#danny and tim are half brothers#dana Winters-Drake was pregnant when she disappeared#she was out of her mind until she found out and tried her best to regain control but it was hard#she had in and out episodes#she wanted to contact Tim but knew he was still in Gotham and she just coulnt due to episodes of her mental health failing#she was found months later in labor and rushed to a hospital and Danny somehow came out healthy#small but healthy#Dana however lasted a few more hours before passing away from the birth#weeks laters Danny is adopted or fostered out#Dana wrote in diary but scramble and scribbled during her episodes#Jazz finds it and being the smarty she is starts figuring it out#it also set her on her path to understand the human mind#Tim gets to be a big brother#not just for Danny though#hes gonna take Jazz in too after he finds out about how bad the home life is#will Danny still become Phantom though?#maybe#maybe Tim gets there and Jack and Maddie finished the portal way earlier than canon and Danny being curious goes to see#and comes down the stairs to see his baby brother die and then come back
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thinking about fallout 4 against my will
#random thoughts#fallout#unfortunately nora compels me#the fact the 'hi honey!' tape specifically mentions her 'shaking the dust off' her law degree is interesting#like she gave up her job to stay at home with her husband and kid. why?#like that's a whole year. at LEAST.#love the idea of nate pressuring her into it <3 maternity leave turns into 'isnt it so nice being with sean around the clock?'#'too bad you won't have this quality time when you return to work'#turns into 'you can always return to work if you feel like it but we DO have a lot saved up . . .'#and it's like. okay so fallout 4 would be so much better if it were set in the 1960s. literally no reason it shouldnt be#yknow beyond complying with lore which. it isnt that faithful to in the first place#i just think it's weird the game is like 'here's the FUTURE' and then it's like 'here's the FUTURE FUTURE'#anyway make it the 1960s. give me time-appropriate fucked up family dynamics#and nora's a laywer and a feminist who promised herself she'd never compromise her career for a man#and nate seemed so NICE and like he understood until uh oh. frog in a slow cooker#and he makes everything seem like it's her idea until she's barefoot in the kitchen with a screaming baby on her hip and burnt food in a pan#and she doesn't even realize she's trapped until it's too late. isolated from friends and family#idk ill do more research later to make it more time-accurate (ESPECIALLY interested in second-wave feminism)#anyway i think she cheats. with a door-to-door salesman selling places in the bomb shelters#(honestly probably the only adult social interaction she's had in weeks beyond her husband)#i like to think at some point she had a bit of a car accident due to the stress so nate took her keys#probably just a minor fender bender he blew out of proportion but she believes it because oh god what if she hurt sean#her feelings toward sean are complicated. i dont think she quite loves him which she feels guilty about so she overcompensates#with trying to keep him as safe as possible and she feels like he KNOWS and HATES her#(honestly when the bombs drop everything happens so quickly and when she's in the future and registers sean's gone she feels. so relieved)#(followed by heavy shame)#nate sabotaged her birth control btw. love evil 1960s patriarchs#never outright stated but heavily implied!#anyway nora in the future (while she felt very progressive for her time) feels very out of place#like her ideals have no place. like she has no place
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Major shout out to all the men in the thread I referenced here saying they got vasectomies for their partner.
Y'all are the real ones
#i know it should be a more common and accepted form of birth control#but it feels really stigmatized and so many men just refuse#so i wanna give credit where it's due
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i keep telling myself ill be not a worthless person to follow when im "back to being normal again" whatever that suppose 2 mean
#literally cant figure it out lost a lot of my life outlook changes due to being sedated on the strongest birth control for 6 years and#abusing substances because i didnt know what was going on and trying to cure my braindeadness with anything i could get effects from#also i know my worth isnt how cool and funny i am online but i dont havw irl friends
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#ayyy. today was a day.#i overslept and spent the 1st half of the day close to tears for no apparent reason#cried for a while in the garage where they keep the liquid nitrogen tanks and was incapable of reading anything at all#and this is y i have to start taking birth control. bc everything starts falling apart when my period hits. its fucking bullshit#it would b great if i had a normal working brain. i just dont want to deal with anything rn#i dont even wanna draw. i just want to dissolve into the ground. but noooo i have to find 2 papers to read for background info#bc theyre due Friday. and this weekend im gonna have to do a ton of reading bc i have a committee meeting Friday#its just frustrating. itll probably b fine but i wish it was different#unrelated
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I wonder what the state of sex education is in the brotherhood. I can’t imagine the average wastelander having anything particularly comprehensive, though it may be a little better if they live in a larger settlement.
Given the questions you get asked by Knight Captain Cade I imagine it would be pretty good regarding STIs but I think that would be the extent of it
#fallout 4#fo4#brotherhood of steel#I wonder if they’re given any information regarding safe sex#I don’t think birth control exists in the fallout universe?#but also I’m sure many people are sterile/infertile due to you know the radiation#are they given talks about consent#given how conservative the us was before the bombs fell#and the likelihood of those cultural attitudes carrying over#imma go with probably not
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Endo + extremely irregular cycles (that may or may not be PCOS but still waiting on that diagnosis) + PMDD is the fucking worst combo… I get 1 week or so in intense physical pain while bleeding, another week or 2 as a Functional Person, then an unknown number of ❔Mystery Weeks❔dealing with intense anxiety, cravings, breast tenderness, hypersensitivity, & volatile mood swings… and then it all starts over again!
#plus also the ADHD gets way worse during my luteal phase but I always forget that bit until it happens due to ya know the ADHD#anyway#lia’s hormones are out of whack and she’s upset#talking about oneself in the third person isn’t officially a PMDD symptom but should it be? possibly?#menstrual issues fucking suck#plus I can’t do certain hormonal birth control due to strong family history of blood clots#so I’m just wallowing in self-pity and hormonal fury at the moment
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my non serious one piece “incarnated into a canon character” si au is si(r) crocodile wherein the protagonist doesn’t realize he’s crocodile (due to crocodile being trans and mysterious) until he slid down the slope of moral depravity and just wound up being basically crocodile naturally. all the best intentions in the world not holding up under the weight of didjdjdj All That. [eats the sand sand fruit] wait… **crocodile rock????**
#so mad#also didn’t believe in crocodad theory until he accidentally became pregnant with luffy#due to believing T works as birth control. it does not.#op tag
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gender euphoria is so fuckin stupid. why did i get a teensy bit excited when i saw some hair on my lip that is nearly indistinguishable from the usual all over peach fuzz. like yes my heart skipped a beat seeing an extra 2mm of hair that mightve actually already been there. no i cant take a picture i dont think it would show up one photographs. im normal <3
#buzzy#trans#for context im not on T or anything so im not sure its actually a new development#BUT i did recently switch to a diff type of birth control due to my T levels being low (that is whats considered low for a cis woman)#(specificallt the mini pill)#and a few months in i both feel better#and like. docs have suggested pcos before so it wouldnt be THAT surprising i was already a lil hairy everywhere else#but also for all i kno it coulda been there the whole fucking time and i just didnt notice lmao#friend congratulated on baby stache and i corrected to fetus stache bc it is very debateable#anyway schrodingers fetus stache.#i should get my labs redone and see how thats going
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i finished Inverse Cowgirl (memoir by intersex activist Alicia Roth Weigel), I got some stuff out of it but looking forward to reading more from other folks. Just started The Race to be Myself by Caster Semenya
#one thing i learned from IC is that you can get osteoporosis from insufficient hormones#(which i would guess is related to hormone blockers being linked to decreased bone density...? if i'm saying that right)#but so yeah if you cut out someone's hormone-producing organs without their consent#and then give them hormones in the form of birth control - including the week of placebos - you'll never guess what happens#due to not getting any hormones for a WEEK every month holy shit#i don't think i ever realized how important hormones are (aside from like. causing puberty)? just never thought about it#also yeah apparently intersex healthcare is just. not very good right now. as evidenced by someone thinking the placebos were a good idea#like even beyond the extremely fucked up stuff that is done to kids. folks also can't get good care as adults
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#i am. getting Very fucking tired of my mother giving me shit for being disabled#truly ?? im Done#like. i would like to think i have p good control over my impulses but oooooooooo boy#am i getting close to the recent images of that woman throwing a milkshake in nigel farage's face#SO CLOSE#shut uP ur life is not a gd prison bc u have a disabled child#like my dude#my guy#u have had me for 28 fuckin years#and Now u have a problem bc i am physically incapable of doing laundry due to my back issues ??#that i have had since birth and u knew were progressive ??#o-fucking-kay#we're doing this now#fr she is trying to compare doing a laundry for me to being a full-time maid#ok bud#i just asked a favour#which YOU agreed to#but now that u have to follow thru on it ur angry#alright#¯\_(ツ)_/¯#u made this bed. time to lie in it
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#welcome back to spencer wakes up in the middle of the night and can’t fall back asleep due to cramps !#god i really should look into being put on birth control#this shit sucks so bad#and i know losing sleep and being in#so much pain you feel nauseous is not normal#ughhhhhh#anyways whatever i might play stardew for a bit until i hopefully can fall back asleep :((
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Just asking how you're doing...
How's the leg etc and life...
I am so sorry friend, I am just now seeing this! I swear I never get inbox notifs from Tumblr.
Thank you for asking! This must be from the beginning of the year. Thankfully my leg is doing much better. I got my final blood tests done, and though I have one alele that is mutated and indicative of a slightly elevated risk of blood clots in the future, the doctor seemed certain that if I maintain a healthy lifestyle to the best of my ability, it's unlikely it'll happen again. They're pretty sure that it was all the stress mixed with a sudden change in lifestyle (managing from the office a lot during winter and sitting too much), possibly exacerbated by the hormonal birth control I was using. I'm now avoiding ibuprofen as much as possible, trying to eat healthier and stay active, trying desperately to manage stress, and looking for a non-hormonal birth control option that works for me. 💖
#and my acne is out of control without the birth control now 😭#im too damn old i already paid my awkward teenage dues!!!
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public transport is all fun and games until you have to be somewhere by a certain time
#trying to be at my friend's play at 6 left at 3:20 for this purpose currently trying to tell if the train i am trying to take is actually#“out of service” or simply lying#spectacularly nauseous as well due to starting new birth control and the motion sickness doesn't help. not having a good time tbh#edit: it was lying it's running. idk what that was about#me
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Kinda fucked up that some of my health problems are caused by the medications I take for my health problems
#mine#beginning to think the almost-hypertension I’m experiencing after years of critically low bp is due to my birth control 🙃#spoonie#disability#disabled#chronic illness
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