#dudes who stare at a wall and listen to dark side of the moon

[luc3ks]

heartbreaking: the worst people you know are now small and cute

[come-down-that-tree]

Prologue Previous

Come down that tree! (an aftermare story)

Chapter 9: Han kommer aldri til å se familien og vennene sine igjen, gjør han?

Nightmare was nowhere to be seen. It might be the best time to think over everything that happened recently…

Geno sighed and laid down in the grass. What he believed to be a butterfly lazily flew in and out of his sight.

How long has he been here?

It was so hard to count the days after having spent so long lost in the darkness. There, time didn't matter. Time was for people outside of this silent bubble of loneliness, and even there, time repeated again and again. What kind of use would he have to count the days then? As he still did when the resets had just started.

"Before", "now", "not yet".

"Before" the resets. Forbidden past he wouldn't dare think about.

"Now", the instant he was in. May it be inside the timeline or inside the save screen.

"Not yet". His fate. Death.

Those were the rules then. But everything was a mess now. Since that day, when he tried this dumb experiment and fell here.

Did he make the right choice? He gripped hard his ulna.

Who knows?

He silently rolled on his side, staring at a blade of grass.

He fell here. He survived.

What now?

He met the twins. Weird ones these two. Dream was all sunshine most of the time and always busy. Nightmare was generally quiet, broody and not doing much of his days except reading.

This one was a strange one.

Geno thoughtlessly grabbed onto his knees and played with his shorts fabric.

This guy saw him several times at his worst. No, not worst. But still bad. He almost killed him.

He threatened him, insulted and scared him.

And yet-

The monster shuddered at all he did since he came here. He hardly ever saw worst "guest" than him…

The dark twin didn't seem like he was going to kick him away anytime soon though. He had been temporarily mad, sure. But it was only after he insulted him of something he would have been utterly outraged to be called.

…

"Soulless".

That's what he called him.

Geno winced.

The dude definitely had more soul than him and his sliver of a soul. And he called the poor dude soulless.

He should try to apologize soon. That was the least he could do.

Geno pushed on the ground with his hand and looked at the blue immensity that was the sky.

The sun was shining strongly up there.

It will hide tonight…

Letting the moon borrow its strength.

A tear silently rolled down his cheek.

He closed his eyes and let waves of memories push against the wall deep inside his mind.

Red boots snow-socked drying in a corner.

Raw laugh behind sealed doors.

Enraged shouting as he hid from a fish's wrath in a kitchen's cupboard.

Big paws enclosing a steaming cup of tea.

The soothing noise of fire listening.

Groans from the last victim of his bad punning mood.

Each thought added to the spiraling crack decorating the bricks.

He opened his eyes to a blurred world.

Geno didn't bother to wipe his eyes, laying there, prey to his wandering mind.

He missed them. He missed them so freaking much.

His teeth gritted together.

Right now, even the sight of Jerry would be welcome. Not for long but he would… tolerate them.

A wet chuckle leaked in the air.

He missed them but they did not miss him.

How could they? "Sans" never left. He never disappeared. Geno made sure of erasing himself from the memories of the few who knew his story.

The stunt had given him a splitting headache from staring so long at the codes.

Geno sighed.

He had wondered several times if he really made the right choice since then. He could have given in to hope, waited for Papyrus to come get him as he promised he would. What if he had let his bro, Frisk and the other Sans keep their memories whole during this last run…? He won't ever know.

Instead he had given up, that's what he did the best. Not even the extra determination had been enough to stop that desperate impulse, fed by the belief that after trying to erase the timeline, to erase them all… he was undeserving of living peacefully in their company.

Maybe, he should have given his thought process a longer time to stretch before taking such a drastic decision.

…

Maybe.

Although they did seem better without him in sight.

The last run had been void of deaths.

They all reached the surface and gazed upon the sun together.

The monster put both his palms on his sockets, blocking out the external world.

He let them go.

He closed the window, flipped off Gaster and made the big jump.

And now he was here, in this mostly peaceful place.

So far from them.

So far from home.

Alone.

He won't go back, would he? He won't ever see them again.

His sliver of soul burned and a low whine escaped him. The dam broke, letting place to neverending waterfalls.

Emotions flooded him and he allowed himself to drown in it, making use of his temporary seclusion.

He obviously didn't notice two shiny purple orbs silently observing from afar.

End of chapter 9!

Go to chapter 10?

------------------------------------------------------------

@dragon-tamer-1 @shinechermont @zu-is-here :D

Geno and aftertale belong to @/loverofpiggies

Nightmare and dreamtale to @/jokublog

[dmwrites]

Grian fucked up. The jury was out on how badly, but regardless, he’d fucked up.

He was kind of known for his love of tnt. And pranks. Perhaps you can see where this is going.

Grian had been flying around the server, just kind of looking at all the buildings that he hadn’t been able to see from the sky yet. A big square shaped thing in the water caught his attention, and he landed gracefully on top of some sugar cane.

“Well isn’t this a nice little place you have here!” Grian called out, not quite sure who lived here.

“Well thank you kindly.” A voice came from below, and xB walked up the steps to the surface. He smiled kind of formally at Grian, who returned it with equal friendly formality. The two hadn’t really interacted one on one all that much, but they could still be cool.

“Interesting concept, building in a lake.” Grian took a wider look at the build. Simple farms on top, and what looked like a glass storage room underneath. Simple, but still pretty cool for a starter base.

xB chuckled. “It’s kind of in my nature, it feels like. Water is pretty cool.”

“Water is pretty cool.” Grian agreed. “But you know what’s cooler? Fire.” He placed down a few blocks of tnt.

xB froze for a moment blue eyes ringed with yellow wide, then chuckled again. “Scared me there. But I know you wouldn’t dare.”

Over the community paging system, Impulse sent out a message: “please don’t sleep away the night. Zombie villager needs a new home.” Grian sent back a thumbs up emoji, then replaced his communicator with a flint and steel.

“Oh, wouldn’t I? xB, you do know that I can’t resist big red buttons… and backing down from dares.”

xB frowned slightly. “I mean, I’m not daring you to. I just know you’re a decent guy.”

“Oop- I could just- oop-” Grian giggled, waving the open flame near the tnt block.

xB rolled his eyes. “Listen, you can, if you want. But I would get rather upsketti with you. And I don’t think it would end well for you.” He had a small smile on his lips, but watched Grian’s flame closely.

Grian sighed, leaning against the tnt, watching the sun set. “No, you’re right. I’m just messing with you.”

“Grian! What-” xB suddenly shouted, but whatever he said next was blocked out by the distinct hiss of tnt lighting. Grian turned around in horror to see his lit flame right on a fuse.

BOOM!

Grian and xB went flying. Grian collided with the sugar cane and fell amongst the reeds. He scrambled to his feet, and even when only illuminated by the moon, the destruction was bad. Water was leaking in at every side. Most of the farms were ash, and the stones were cracked.

So yeah, Grian had indeed fucked up.

“xB?” Grian asked, shaking. No reply, except the water lapping against the broken sides of his house. Grian could see no body, no xB lying around. “xB??” Grian called louder.

There was a wet shifting noise, like flesh slapped against glass. Grian looked down the steps. It was completely dark down there, as the candles had been extinguished, but that must be where he was.

“xB? We can talk about this!” Grian called, creeping into his storage room. A echoing clicking noise answered him, coming from everywhere. Like laughing.

A dull light caught Grian’s attention, and he turned to see a pair of bulbous yellow eyes staring right at him. But, wait, no, the eyes were on the opposite wall too. In fact, Grian realized as he turned on the spot, the glass was so reflective and clean in here, it was like the eyes were watching him from every pane. Something was watching him.

“xB this is crazy. Listen, dude, i am so sorry, and I’ll fix all the damage myself and get you whatever you need!” Grian held out his hands, revolving slowly so wherever xB was, he could see. Grian noticed that his skin looked a oily blue under the water. It was weird under here, not peaceful.

The weird clicking continued, almost like some kind of bug hunting it’s prey. Grian kept looking at the eyes. “What the hell is protecting this lake?” he muttered, heart pounding.

There was another noise, a wet growl, that scared the shit out of Grian. This one was easier to pinpoint. It was a drowned, swimming nearby. There was a blink, and the yellow eyes were gone from the panes of glass. Grian looked around, expecting to see something appear behind him, but there was nothing. The drowned growled again, and then the noise was cut off abruptly. Grian turned to see a huge dark creature floating where the drowned had just been. It had to be the size of one of xB’s walls. It was almost invisible in the nighttime water, skin made of dark blues and blacks, but there were pulsating golden veins of light all over it’s body. The thing turned to look directly at Grian with its bulbous yellow eyes. And that’s when he noticed that the thing had the drowned in its hands. Well, what was left of it anyway. It’s head was in one hand, and part of the body was in the other. And then thing was chewing, which was a pretty good indication of where the rest of it had gone.

Grian gasped, stumbling backwards and over a chest. The monster was still looking right at him, so powerful in it’s treading that water was splashing in from all sides. Grian had never wished that he could sleep away the night more then right now.

“W- what did you do with xB?” Grian tried to yell, but it came out as a whisper, so transfixed by the way the drowns blood spread from the creature’s mouth and into the water.

There was a low chuckle, and that sounded like xB. Minus the clicking that accompanied it. The creature looked amused, but just kept chewing.

“Wait… are you xB?” Grian gasped. The creature let go of the remains of the drowned and swam over to the wall where Grian was slumped. Grian stared at the thing. It grinned at him, showing rows and rows of sharp teeth, and then punched the glass wall, shattering it. Grian tried to shout, but it was no use. The thing, xB, grabbed Grian around the throat and dragged him into the water. Grian grabbed at the hand, trying to outpower it, but it was too slippery.

“There’s a conduit, you can breathe, stop resisting” xB’s voice rang directly in Grian’s head, like he lived there or something. Grian took a breath, best he could with a hand around his throat. “Now, didn’t I fucking tell you that bad shit was gonna happen if you fucked around?”

Grian nodded. Up close, he could see blood staining his lips, so he didn’t trust himself in speaking.

“Now,” xB continued in his mind, the creature that was also him bobbing his head, “you will be fixing this up real nice, isn’t that right?” By all means, xB’s voice was friendly. But it was a poisonous friendly. Grian nodded again. “Good, good.” xB said, and then they were moving, and Grian’s head broke the surface of the water. “Work fast, little bird.” xB said, and he let go of Grian’s neck.

Grian choked, collapsing to his knees and feeling his neck. The sun was rising now, a slow, orange morning. The destruction of xB’s base was terrible, an accident made worse in the light. Grian, after some time, looked into the water, but xB was gone. Perhaps he was camouflaged in the dark blue of the deeper parts of the lake. Perhaps he was still watching, bulbous yellow eyes hungry.

Grian started picking up loose blocks, making a mental note to tell anyone he knew not to mess with xB. “It’s always the quiet ones.” He muttered to himself. “I mean, they don’t always turn into carnivorous deep-sea monsters, but still.”

[ve1vetyoongi]

wherever you will go | jjk

Pairing: Jungkook x female reader

Genre: actor!oc, director!jungkook, smut, angst, humour.

Word count: 21k

Summary:  Not much happens when you grow up by the coast. Tourists come and go, the theatre where you work shows the same shows over and over and there’s always sand and salt in the air. Your dreams of making it big in the city are exactly that: dreams. When your hopes of becoming an actress are shattered into a million pieces, you find yourself getting drawn to a captivating up-and-coming movie director by the name of Jeon Jungkook. With his bright eyes and charming smile, he seems determined to glue your pieces back together -- even if it means leaving Ocean City behind for good.

Warnings: themes of loss/grief, mentions of death of a parent, dom!jungkook, dom/sub themes, spanking, squirting, unprotected sex, oral sex (f recieving).

Rating: Mature.

A/N: Hello loves! HAPPY JK DAY!! This fic is a lil celebration of our golden boy Jungkook so I hope you enjoy!! This whole fic is sickeningly fluffy and reads like a pretentious YA novel but ya girl wrote this while she was stuck in quarantine a few weeks ago and I debated not posting this bc I lowkey love it lowkey hate it so pleasedonthateme if it’s bad LOL. Also -- just incase you haven’t read the warnings already there is a running theme that deals with the loss of a parent (a topic very close to my heart, hence why this piece was especially healing to write.) so reader discretion is advised if that is triggering to you in any way shape or form!!!! P.P.S Largely unedited so pls bare with any mistakes!

Prelude.

You're late for your work shift, you note, as you catch sight of your watch face glaring up at you menacingly from the arm clutching the handle bars of your bike. As if your mood couldn't get any more miserable -- the dreary morning drizzle that falls from the sky and drips icily down the back of your nape was bad enough.

Goddamn, you groan to yourself as you will your feet to pedal ever faster. Now my hair is gonna be frizzy.

It's a Saturday and the theatre where you work always opens earlier at the weekends. You promised you'd be on time today, but yet here you are, speeding down the worn in sandy sidewalks of your seaside town a whole block away when you should've been opening up half an hour ago.

It's a habit of yours, being late. And as hard as you try, you just can't change a habit. But it can't be helped you suppose. Continuity is all you've ever known. That's the thing about living in a tiny seaside town. Things never change.

The view from your bedroom window has been the same for as long as you can remember — Ocean City — Aka, block after block of rainbow coloured houses with flaky paint leading up to the harbour where boats bob nonchalantly and fishermen reel in their catches beneath the gull filled sky. Beyond it the beach; greyish rolling waves and upturned pebbles nestled atop of hard sand in the winter and clear water and brightly coloured beach towels and brave surfers in the summer.

Nobody ever leaves, and the tourists that arrive in summer never stay. Life becomes a predictable practice, just each day lived out to the next in an endless cycle of never ending continuity. It's suffocating and endless and sometimes you feel like you're just a pawn on a giant chess board, destined to move one agonising square forward at a time, never diagonally. It's hard to change directions when you've been taught to stick to what you know.

You didn't always live here, in this town of continuity. You lived in the big city for a while, where no day was the same as another. But after your mother died you and your older brother were shipped off to live with your dad, who wouldn't know the definition of adapting if it hit him square in the face. He's always been the same square shouldered, balding dude in his forties who never wanted kids and never quite got over losing your mother to the big buck actor she ran off with when you were two.

So that's how you ended up here. Late for work at your job in the country's most prized vacation spot. And your boring reality.

You roll past the beach huts on the shoreline that alternate between vibrant pink and muted blue, barely paying attention to the boardwalk with its little boat house that stretches out into the horizon like a crooked finger. When it gets dark, you can spot the pier carnival lights flashing in the distance from here as they dance across the reflection of the pale white moon and play among the waves.

Even now, the yellow lights of the ornate street lamps that line the water's front shine like tiger's eyes against the sky just like they always have when you turn down the familiar route that takes you past the winding lanes of trinket shops and the happy hour bars and the carnival that feels strangely empty at such an early hour, not a single rollercoaster ride in operation.

Before long you're skidding to a stop outside of the The Crestmont, the old theatre where you work. It's everything you'd expect from a vintage cinema; pink and blue neon lights and a gold trimmed ticket booth out front with a three-sided marquee that extends from the front of the building like a brightly lit airport runway. You hurry beneath it, grateful for the protection it provides from the rain that has started to come down in lashes now, before heading over to the rack around the back of the building where you can chain your bike.

The Crestmont used to be somewhat of a hotspot back in the day or so your told, but these days it only shows cartoons at a discounted price for the neighbourhood kids and the occasional local production of some worn out musical everyone has seen a hundred times before. It's lost all it's magic, everyone says. But you disagree; you probably spend more time here than anyone, and there's magic in every inch of this place.

From the red velvet curtains to the grand chandelier, The Crestmont is one of a kind. Sometimes you disappear into the theatre by yourself for a while unbeknownst to your manager. You can almost taste the laughter and the tears and the love that has been spilled and shared unapologetically amongst these seats. Pure magic.

Your mom left a piece of herself here, too. If you close your eyes you can hear her laughter spilling out into the theatre, or her lilting singing voice filling every nook and cranny like a haunting siren. She was the Crestmont's star. Ocean City's sweetheart.

There's a wall of fame in the lobby. It's covered in portraits crested with gold frames, all filled with pictures of the Crestmont's greatest performers. You've spent hours there — (turns out it's the perfect hiding spot from your manager) — fingers tracing the plaques beneath each one, all inscribed with names that townsfolk whisper with dreamy looks in their eyes. Some are black and white, some colour, but all of them depict pretty faces with beaming smiles that never seem to fade.

Not even your mom's. Her smile is pearly and bright, right above the plaque with her birthdate. And her death date.

And right there at the end, an empty frame. Your frame. You can feel it. You already know how you'll pose for your picture. Hair over one shoulder, hand on hip, smile so convincing that it'll be like every happiness in your heart is written right across your forehead proudly, and you won't have to dull it any longer.

You finish hooking a chain around the handlebars of your bike, catching sight of your reflection in the darkened windows. Staring back at you is a girl dressed in a maroon v-neck with a preppy dicky bow tied around her collar. You frown. The white shirt itches and the high waisted pants make your crotch look weird but the uniform is compulsory. The only thing uglier is the sour expression on your face, which you try to smooth out with your thumb, experimenting with plastering a sickly smile to your face instead. It might be convincing if your lips didn't strain and your eyes weren't so prone to rolling without your permission.

You need to learn to hide your emotions, your father said. You have your feelings written across your face. Customers don't like that.

It's true; customer's didn't usually like you, your unforgiving face or when you spilled cola down their blouse or spat in their popcorn. One more complaint and you were on the path to being fired once and for all, and although in some ways you would be glad to say goodbye to the stupid slushie machine that always gets stuck and the ungrateful customers and the goddamn uniform, you can't loose this job.

Not when it's your ticket to making it big. Then customers will point to your picture as they pass and clutch their chest with a snide superiority, Oh! Can you believe she served me a cola once? I always knew she was gonna make it! instead of Would it kill you to smile a little, honey?

So you swallow a sigh and make your smile as convincing as possible and march inside of the ornate theatre doors of The Crestmont, hoping that today may be the day where things finally change for once.

Where it begins

"I'm going to work!" You call as you you pull a baseball cap down over your hair to cover it's unbrushed wildness. "I won't be back for a while so don't wait up, okay Taehyung?"

You pause with your hand on the door, listening carefully for a response; the small house you live in pulsates with the bass of some indie rock album your brother and his friends are obsessed with at the moment, and your eyes roll when you peer up the staircase and find Taehyung's bedroom door firmly closed like always.

With a shake of your head you scribble out a message on a sticky note — GONE 2 WORK. — and leave it for him to read when he eventually emerges from his man cave in search of sustenance and finds you gone.

You brush away the funny ache that nestles in your stomach. This is nothing new. You're used to not being heard. Your dad is always gone for trips you suspect involve more play than work, and your older brother pretends he's not broken by hanging around with the neighbourhood cool kids and barraging himself in his room for days on end. Despite living under one roof it feels as though you're miles apart, an invisible barrier separating you indefinitely.

You weren't always like this; distant, always stepping on eggshells around each other. You were a family once. A happy one. But since the accident there's been an absence in this house, and nothing has been the same since.

Still, you know that beneath Taehyung's standoffish persona, he's still your big brother. He worries about you. So you tack the note to the fridge and make your way outside.

The lawn is already brown despite it only being late May, and summer is shaping up to be hot and sticky, though you live two blocks away from the beach so the coolness of the ocean still thankfully pervades against your perspiring skin, the gulls already calling you with their high pitched squaks from down at the shoreline.

You've barely made it to the end of the drive before there's the sound of knuckles rapping against glass. You look up and your heart jumps into your mouth. Staring back at you is a pair of dark eyes from behind the upstairs windowpane. Even from this distance you can see how they shine, deep and dark like a cup of black coffee, and you'd recognise the annoyingly cute smirk that matches them anywhere.

Jungkook. Jeon Jungkook. Taehyung's best friend, and, unfortunately, your crush for as long as you knew what the word love meant.

"Hey, Y/N!" Your heart sinks when the window slides open and a messy head of brown hair sticks out through the gap and points at you with a pout. "You're leaving already? Without me?"

Oh; another thing about Jeon Jungkook. He's also your co-worker, which means you spend 16 hours a week in his company, much to the glee of your heart and the dismay of your conscience.

You weren't exactly surprised when you turned up to the Crestmont theatre for your first shift and were left in the capable hands of none other than Jungkook to teach you the ins and the outs of the popcorn machine and the ticket booth.

For as long as you've known him he's been somewhat of a film buff. He practically grew up holding a camera. You always used watch him and your brother making home movies in the backyard, fit with ketchup sachets for blood and endless costumes from your mom's closet. And the one time you stayed at his house when your dad went away for a while after the accident, you saw all the classic movie posters on his bedroom wall; Casablanca, Singing in the Rain, Jaws. So it made total sense for Jungkook to be at the Crestmont. In fact, you couldn't imagine him anywhere else.

That day you were mostly just surprised that he knew who you were at all. While you had spent years watching him from your bedroom window while he kicked a ball around with Taehyung or avoiding his eyes at the table when he stayed for dinner, he had never so much as glanced in your direction.

Deep down you think the reason he was so quick to take you under his wing is because he knew first hand how hard the accident hit your family. You suppose he feels he owes it to Taehyung to keep you in high spirits.

Although if you weren't you and he wasn't him, you'd swear Jungkook's attentions had become almost flirtatious as of late. He always goes the extra mile to spend time with you, and you even though you know it'll end up with you getting hurt you can't bring yourself to stop him.

You see, Jungkook has a gift for subtle charm. Like how he always sneaks you sodas out back on your lunch break, never forgetting the extra syrup — tooth rottingly sweet just how you like it — slipping one of his own dollars into the cash register to avoid a telling off from your manager. Or how he insists on helping you clean up after the theatre is empty, showing you the best secret places like down the back off seats to find misplaced trinkets and the creaky floorboard where your manager hides his cigarettes. How he insists on walking you home after the evening shift, even if he says he's going this way to see Taehyung anyway.

You've spent countless hours pondering over whether his sweet talking words mean as much to him as they do to you. And as much as you know it's unlikely for someone like Jeon Jungkook to ever have feelings for you, you can't help the way your heart speeds up every time he shoots you one of his signature bunny smiles that light up his whole face like he's happiness personified. And you can't bring yourself to hate him for it.

"I did call," you respond matter of factly, finally sucking in a breath of courage to turn around and squint up at him through the afternoon sun with a shrug. "But that trash you're listening too was too loud for you guys to hear me."

Jungkook's eyes widen as he fumbles around beneath the windowsill and pops up again holding up a shiny vinyl record sleeve. You recognise it instantly; it's from his favourite film — Submarine. He hardly ever shuts up about it.

"This is not trash. This is, like, the best movie soundtrack ever made!" He shakes his head as he takes the needle off of Taehyung's vintage record player, music ceasing with a scratch, and slips it into the sleeve with a grin. "Good thing I have it downloaded so we can listen to it on the way to work, hm?"

You roll your eyes and tap your foot impatiently, and at that, Taehyung appears behind him.

"You're leaving already?" He frowns, words directed at Jungkook even as he glances through narrowed eyes at you stood awkwardly on the front lawn.

"Yup. My shift starts in twenty." Jungkook shrugs, disappearing into the room for a second before he emerges again with a backpack slung over his shoulder. "Sorry dude. I can come back afterwards though, if you want?"

Taehyung purses his lips. Even from here you can see the stress lines embedded in his forehead that make him look older than his humble age of nineteen, somehow weak unlike how you always saw him as a kid. Big and strong; untouchable; your brother.

His blunt eyes never quite meet Jungkook's as he shakes his head softly. "'S good. I was gonna try and sleep, anyway, before the sun goes down. Didn't get much shut eye last night. Not with the..."

Nightmares. Taehyung trails off, but you know that's what he's alluding to. The nightmares that turn your big strong brother into a sniffling mess in the dead of night, kicking around mercilessly until you sneak into his bed and whisper to him until he slips into slumber again. Not that you ever acknowledge it in the morning over your bowls of cereal and vacant good morning's.

"Okay." Jungkook's face momentarily falls; a rare occurrence from the boy who seems to be perpetually cheerful. He pats Taehyung on the shoulder gently. "Take care of yourself, okay man?"

Taehyung just nods, letting out a yawn as he rolls into a stretch. "See ya tomorrow."

You're jolted from your thoughts when Jungkook throws his left leg out of the window, then the other, arms bulging in just the right way where they poke out of the sleeves of his plain white tee as he climbs down the drainpipe and lands with a thump on the soles of his high top sneakers.

"Hey kiddo." He grins as he wipes the palms of his hands on the thighs of his ripped jeans, before messing up your hair despite your groan of protest.

"Don't call me that. You're only a year older than me."

You're startled when you meet the pair of warm eyes that glint golden brown in the summer evening light, chest contracting as you look away and break into a fast walk towards the street.

"And you know you can just use the front door right?"

You hear him snort behind you, neglecting to use the front gate and instead launching over the fence so he lands directly in front of you on the sidewalk.

"How am I supposed to impress my best friends little sister if I can't show off my guns?" He flexes his arm, but you just brush past him with a roll of your eyes.

"You're an idiot."

You hear the clunk of his bike chain unhooking from the gate, before a set of wheels pedal up on the sidewalk beside you. "Hey! Where are you going?"

"Uh, to work?" You offer bluntly, squinting at him through the sun. "You should be too, we start in fifteen minutes."

"I mean why are you walking? What happened to your bike?"

You roll your eyes. "Some tourist kids slashed the wheels at the beach."

"Shit. Really?" Jungkook tuts, but you don't miss the glint in his eye as he nods towards the pegs on the back of his bike that were made for carrying a passenger."Then I guess it's my lucky day. Hop on, we can ride together."

You come to a standstill, arms crossed tightly. "I'd rather walk."

"Oh come on!" He wiggles his eyebrows. "It'll take double the time if we go on foot, and I recall it being you who got a final late warning last week."

"If we go on foot?" You laugh breathily, determined to stand your ground. "Just go on ahead, I'm good here."

"Well, I'm not exactly going to leave you here alone on the side of the road now am I? So I'll be forced to walk with you. And I'm older than you remember? Look, I'm already out of breath! My legs aren't what they used to be, y'know."

"Fine!" With a pout you take the helmet resting in his front basket and hook it underneath your chin, biting your lip to stop a smile from gracing your lips at the excitement that lights up Jungkook's features. "But only because I want you to shut up."

"Your wish is my command." He says with a pat to your head. "Hold on tight, okay?"

And as you wrap your arms around his waist, you're sure his ears heat up a deep shade of red, even it could just be the evening light playing tricks on you.

The theatre at the Crestmont feels eerily quiet when its empty.

You know that because even though your shift was supposed to end at 5, you offered to stick around to help clean up after today's performance. Phantom of the Opera.

"Jesus," You groan as you pick up another sticky soda cup that someone had kindly spilled all over the ground for you to clean up, dropping the offender into a black trash bag. "Doesn't anyone around here know how to use a trash can?"

You fall into one of the theatre seats with a sigh and run your fingers over the scarlet velvet, worn yet plush, the texture soothing you instantly. You tilt your head back and let the silence engulf you. No orchestra, no musical numbers, no stage crew shouting directions. No whirring cotton candy machine. Just you and the stage.

From here you can see every detail on the high ceiling littered with renaissance-style paintings of mermaids and babies armed with heart shaped bow and arrows. Your mom was an actress. When you were a kid you used to spent hours staring at them while she rehearsed. You were convinced they came alive once the theatre closed up for the night, their cheeky smiles evidence of a secret only you knew.

A trail of rainbows is cast by the grand chandelier hung in the center, and it draws your attention all the way down the aisles and up to the stage.

The Crestmont is only small, fitting perhaps 200 people at most. It's hardly Broadway. But the fire in your chest ignites as you glance side to side before sidling up the creaking wooden steps that wind up to the Crestmont's center stage. Your favourite part of the whole theatre.

It's not the first time you've done this. You often like to come up here after everyone has gone home, even though you technically aren't supposed to. There's a certain magic about being alone up here as you collect the lone roses that were thrown on stage by tonight's audience. Breathing in the musty smell of butter popcorn that lingers on the velvet curtains, feel the warmth of the bright stage lights glazing your skin. Something about it feels like home.

The first time you ever saw the Crestmont stage was on tv, watching a grainy camera shakily capture your mom in the very same spot you find yourself right now.

Your mom used to have a cardboard box filled with her old audition tapes. Everything from Hamlet to A Streetcar Named Desire, she'd starred in it, and you spent hours together in front of the television set trying to memorise the way she spoke your favourite lines and listening to her lilting voice recite backstage anecdotes about her rendezvous with foreign directors who dined on her in Paris or underground parties with celebrities you had never even heard of as she stroked your hair.

It wasn't until you got a little older that you realised that, just like you, your mom was a dreamer. Sure, she'd visited a couple different states and starred in some makeup commercials once, and that was enough to make her a celebrity in a town as small as this.

But really? She was just a small town actress with dreams larger than herself and way larger than the Crestmont where she made her name. And suddenly the gaps in time where she would disappear for weeks — sometimes months — on end no longer made sense to you. If she wasn't drinking cocktails with the prince of Monaco or clubbing in London, then where was she?

"Down town with those no good roadies," Taehyung told you once. "They made all these empty promises. Told her she'd make it big if she just did what they said. But look how that turned out."

That was the day you realised your mom was a better actress than you ever knew.

She always thought that her dreams would come true. She believed it so hard that you believed it too, naively. But who knows? Maybe they would have if she didn't get into an accident on her way to New York for her big break.

It's easy to imagine how your mom felt up here. She always looked so alive and free in those VHS tapes as she danced effortlessly across the stage with an ethereal weightlessness, the theatre silent except for the melodic sweetness of her monologues that drew tears to the eyes of those who listened eagerly.

If you close your eyes you can hear the roar of the crowd, hands clapping furiously. The orchestra tuning their brass in the pit, bows melodic against strings. Flowers landing at your feet. The deep breath of satisfaction as you take your final bow and the curtain closes.

Just like that you're moving across the stage, reciting the lines you know so well...

"You're gonna be a star like me some day," A voice whispers against your ear, soft and gentle. A memory. Your mom. "Just like me."

And just like that, she's there. In the audience, clapping. For you. And you feel invincible.

The sound of applause breaks you out of your trance. Real applause. You find yourself stood center stage, broom in hand, staring out at row after row of empty seats that gape with the same emptiness that was here when you arrived.

Except one of the velvet lined seats is filled now. Right at the front.

"Encore!" Jungkook whistles, the harsh thwacks of his palms clapping together clanging inside your ears. "Do it again! That was amazing!"

Your chest seizes painfully, a sudden bout of panic turning your blood cold. You feel the colour leave your face. How long has he been here? How long has he been watching?

Jungkook is watching you attentively, eyes soft at the edges with wonder. It makes bile rise in your throat. You can't be up here. Not when there's a pair of eyes looking at you, judging.

"I..." You begin, but the words get caught in your throat.

"I can't do this."

The way Jungkook's eyes widen and he lurches forward to catch you is the last thing you see before your vision goes black.

The boardwalk is strangely quiet for a summer evening. It's happy hour so you suppose most vacationers are already in the bars in their I LOVE OCEAN CITY T-shirts drinking cocktails or whatever. Not that you're complaining.

The smell of hotdogs and vinegar from the vans that line the strip still fill the air, snatches of conversations from children begging their parents to let them go on the waltzer one last time barely audible above the tinkling bells of the carousel. The ride operators drink soda's as they fan themselves with rolled up newspapers, grateful for the gentle hubbub on such a sticky evening, and then there's you, caught up in the middle of it all.

The wooden boards of the pier are warm against he backs of your thighs. You're sat with your legs dangling through the peeling guard rail that lines the strip. It was painted pastel blue at some point but years of sea spray and grubby hands made it fade to a sickly green tinge that matches the ocean.

Speaking of, the ocean would usually be directly below your feet, murky and wild, but today the tide has receded right back to reveal a large strip of sand. The stands suspending the pier rest on top of it so that you could walk right under and around them if you wanted to. You and Taehyung used to do that all the time when you were kids. Searching for barnacles. Exploring the dark places.

"Here. Eat up. You totally passed out on me back there. You could probably do with some sugar."

The soft voice beside you is the only thing loud enough to permeate your daydreams. You don't have look up to know who it belongs to. Jungkook.

He peers down at you, sun beating down against his back. He's holding two vanilla ice cream cones, double scooped, and he thrusts one into your hands before mirroring your position at the edge of the boardwalk.

The walk down here from the Crestmont was more or less silent, and your stomach twists now you realise Jungkook wants to talk.

"What are you thinking about?"

"Nothing." You lie. The ice cream is cold and sweet and covers the bitterness. "I just think it's funny."

Jungkook's tongue sneaks out to lick up the melted cream dribbling down his cone. "What is?"

"How this place stays the same but I feel so different." You were born here, raised here. This place was your whole life once, with it's salty air and bustling casino's. But since the accident, something's been bubbling inside you, swelling and crashing like the ocean below that taunts you and you've never felt farther from home in your life as you do now, looking out over the town that just won't budge, just like the funny ache in your chest. "Forget I said it. I don't know why I'm even telling you this."

Jungkook fidgets beside you and runs a hand through his hair with a sigh."It's okay, y'know. To miss her."

Your mom. You know that's who he means. Just the mention of her stings.

"Mhm." You snort. "Tell that to my family. If we all carried on missing mom then we'd be in pretty hot shit by now."

"If it's Taehyung you're worried about, then don't be. He's stronger than he looks."

"Until he's not anymore. And we lose him again just like—" You pause. You hate how you can hear the pain in your voice so you smooth it out. "Just like before. And I can't let that happen. I won't."

Jungkook shifts. As Taehyung's oldest friend he was there for everything in the aftermath of the accident. He was there when you put on a brave face for the sake of your family. He was there when Taehyung couldn't be any more.

"That doesn't mean you have to be strong all the time. Think about it this way. The ocean isn't always this calm right?" He gazes wistfully out over the ocean that swells and crashes against the shore, fingers twirling the gold chain around his neck. "Last winter when we had that huge storm, the waves were so big they smashed right through the pier support beams."

You furrow your brows. "What about it?"

"The ocean was just too much for the pier to bare and it would've come crashing down forever if half the neighborhood didn't come down to the beach in the dead of night, despite the rain, and hold it together until the storm calmed and the emergency repair boats could get to shore."

It's true. You remember how unforgiving the rain was as it pelted down against your back and froze you through to the bone that night as each and every familiar face from your neighborhood came down to the seafront to lend a hand, your family included.

Jungkook was there too. He was the one who knocked on your door in the early hours to spread the word. He got given free churros for life by one of the pier stall owners as a reward.

"What I'm trying to say Y/N, is that Taehyung has you to lean on, right? So who do you have?" Jungkook says, staring at you head on now. His sincerity almost makes you blush.

You bite your lip. Deep down you know that your beams are just as broken as Taehyung's and it's only a matter of time before they come crashing down into the water, and this time there'll be nobody to hold the pieces together.

"I don't need anyone. I'm just fine on my own. I can handle my ocean."

Jungkook brushes your hand. You flinch, so he pulls it back into his lap. "Well if you ever need a life boat, then you know where I am okay?"

You don't believe him, but he's staring at you so expectantly that you just tell him what he wants to hear. You're good at that.

"Okay." You whisper. "Okay."

Children's laughter bubbles up from the beach. You watch their distant silhouettes dancing among the waves. It's Jungkook who breaks the silence before it settles between you and becomes uncomfortable.

"Anyway, what were you doing up there on the stage today?" He smiles, like he's trying to lighten the mood. "You looked like you were having the time of your life before—"

You feel your cheeks start to burn. How long had Jungkook been watching you at the Crestmont? Had he seen the whole thing?

"It was nothing. I was just being dumb."

"Nothing?" Jungkook cocks his head to the side and punches you playfully. "It didn't seem like nothing."

"It just...it makes me feel close to my mom when I'm on the stage." You admit. "I loved watching her when I was a kid. She was always larger than life in my eyes. She had this way of making you really believe she was someone else. It was like she wasn't just acting -- she was becoming. Sometimes...sometimes I think I liked her better when she was in character."

You shake your head with a small smile. "I like me better when I'm in character. I used to dream about going to New York one day and becoming an actress just like she wanted to. Small town girl making it big in the city and all that." You scoff. "But I'm nothing like her. It's just fun to pretend sometimes."

"You're good. At performing. Like, really good." Jungkook's eyes are wide. When he places a hand on your forearm you don't shake it off this time. "You take after her. Everyone says it."

It's true. There's one photo of your mom in the house. It's in Taehyung's room. When you were younger you thought it was your face staring back at you from behind the glass. Sometimes you'll be walking down the boardwalk or serving soda's at work and you'll hear the whispers. See their heads turn. Is it her?

"Pfft. Looks mean nothing." You scoff. "She was fearless. I can't even speak in front of one person without passing out, let alone a crowd."

Realisation crosses Jungkook's face. "Oh. So that's what happened back there? Stage fright?"

"Uh huh." You roll your eyes. "So don't give me the follow your dreams spiel or whatever."

"Hmm." Jungkook uses his arms as a makeshift pillow so he can lay back against the ground. You mirror him, peering through your fingers to watch how the golden rays of the sun swallow his frame. "Remember that play they made us do in middle school?"

"The Nativity?" You raise your eyebrow. It was the first theatre production you were in, before the accident and way before you had stage fright.

"Yeah." He grins. "I was the sheep. Taehyung made fun of me for months afterwards because of that stupid costume my grandma made."

"Yeah." You snort. "You did look sorta dumb."

Jungkook bumps your arm with a playful pout that makes you giggle. "And do you remember how I forgot my lines on stage and nearly pissed myself with stage fright? God, I still remember how mad my dad looked in the front row. We'd practiced that part for weeks. I don't know why it happened. I just froze—" A small smile forms on his lips. "But you didn't. Next thing I know there's a kid in a gold star of Bethlehem costume running on stage to recite my lines for me. You stole the show, remember that? Everyone loved you."

"That was then." You murmur, but you can't suppress the smile tugging at the corners or your mouth. "I'm not the same person."

"You were a year younger than the rest of my class but you auditioned anyway, because you knew that you were the only person who could play the star. Because you were a star."

Jungkook turns so that his head rests on his elbow and you're suddenly so close you can feel his breath ghost across your cheek. Your heart pumps in your ears as you gaze dips down to his rosy lips and back up to his sparkling eyes which bore into yours.

"You still are a star."

The words echo in your ears, soft and sincere. His tongue snakes out to wet his lips. You lose your breath. And then you jump away, placing a safe distance between your bodies before you can do something you regret.

"And what about you. Are you still a sheep?" You tease, turning your face so he can't see how it burns rosy red.

"Nah. Figured out pretty quickly after that that I was better off behind the camera." He chuckles.

"Oh right. You still have that thing?" You nod to the camera in his lap. It's one of those old ones that looks like the type that needs a film reel and a projector, but it's been modified so there's a little viewfinder at the side to check the footage instead. "Can I see?"

"What?" Jungkook blinks.

"Some of the stuff you've filmed?"

"Oh! Right!" It's his turn to flush now, scratching the back of his neck as he anxiously thrusts the camera into your hands and pays close attention to the hangnail at the edge of his thumb as you watch the footage.

Your eyes widen when a familiar scene rolls out on the tiny screen. You, on stage at the Crestmont. Jungkook filmed you.

"This is..."

"You." He rushes."Yeah, I know. Sorry if this is awkward—"

"No. Not at all. I just—" You watch in awe as the you inside the camera moves across the stage with an effortless grace. How the lights make your eyes shine and your skin brighter than you remember it being in the mirror this morning. "How did you do that?"

Jungkook's forehead creases. "Do what?"

"Make me look like...that."

"I didn't do anything." Jungkook shrugs. "That's just how I see you."

You could listen to him say that all day, but you stop yourself mid swoon.

"Don't say things you don't mean."

"I do mean it. And I'll show you." He wiggles his eyebrows.

"How?"

He grabs your hand and squeezes it. Tight. "I don't know how yet but I will."

You roll your eyes. "Good luck, Jeon."

"You know I like a challenge." Jungkook laughs, and the melodic sound goes right to your chest. "I'll make you see yourself how I see you. Just wait."

"Since when did you have four wheels?" You call to Jungkook with a quirk of your brow, resting your elbows on the window ledge of the beat up truck he pulls up in outside the Crestmont.

It's a sticky August afternoon and the rusty red vehicle purrs— or more like splutters — in the parking lot as Jungkook untangles your bike from the rack and lifts it into the cargo bed like it's weightless. Just yesterday he came by with his pump and a patch to fix that goddamn slashed tyre, and now he's stealing it?

"Hey! What are you doing with my bike?"

He is clad in nothing but a white vest and board shorts, and you can see perspiration glimmering at his temples as the salty breeze blowing from the beach ruffles the dark curls that flop over his forehead.

"This is my dad's truck," His eyes flash with pride as he hops into the open drivers side door and makes the engine growl. He nods to the empty seat beside him and pushes his dark round sunglasses down the bridge of his nose, fanning his face with his hands. "And you won't be needing your bike today. Now hurry up and get in, loser. I've been waiting ages for your shift to finish and the AC is broken."

You raise a brow. "We're going somewhere?"

"Yeah. Why else would I be waiting for you to get in my truck?"

"I mean, we're going somewhere in this?" You nod towards the truck's worn tires, the fumes that wisp from the exhaust pipe like a lit cigar. "Are you sure it's safe?"

Jungkook notices the way you bite your lip. You don't even have to tell him the worries that are running through your mind. It's as if he can read them like an open book.

"Are you still scared of riding in cars?" He questions, softly.

You nod. That's what an accident does to someone. Makes them scared of something they ordinarily wouldn't even question.

"A little." The breeze ruffles your hair and you hide behind it. "I'm getting better." You add, so he doesn't feel bad because you know he does. His face tells you as much.

"It's a short drive, if that helps." He rushes. "And I asked Taehyung and he said you'd be okay, but if you aren't then I can just walk you home—"

"No." You shake your head firmly. There's a funny fizzing in your stomach that's been there ever since that day on the boardwalk, and it's only growing stronger and stronger now you're inches away from Jungkook and his warm eyes and gentle smile. You don't want it to end just yet. It's enough to outweigh the wriggling fear that's always inside you just a little. "Where are we going?"

Jungkook's face lights up and your heart flips when you realise it's because of you.

"I told you I was gonna make you see what I see, didn't I?"

"Oh that was today?" You tease. "Must have missed it it in the calendar."

"Stop asking questions! Just get in. Please?"

"Fine." You walk around to the passenger door, sliding in beside him and throwing your bag into the back seat. "But I need to be home by midnight or Taehyung will worry."

"No problemo." Jungkook salutes as he switches on the engine and the truck roars to life. You clasp your hands tightly in your lap and breathe through your nose. You're okay. You're safe."Home by midnight. It's a promise."

You gaze out of the window to stop your thoughts from running wild. Jungkook turns left, away from town and the beach and everything familiar. You watch it get smaller and smaller in the mirrors, strangely relieved. Strangely excited.

"Now will you tell me where we're going?" You ask.

"Nope." Jungkook chuckles when you pout. "Just sit back. Relax. Take in the view. Listen to the music."

He leans across the dash, making a point to keep his eyes on the road as he fiddles with the stereo. A familiar string of guitar chords fill the truck. You recognise them, even if vaguely. Probably from Taehyung's vast collection of records.

"The Beatles right?" You ask, resting your chin on your knee as you dare to take a peek at him, blushing when you find him already staring at you.

"Pfft, yeah. Of course it's The Beatles! Only their greatest soundtrack, like, ever."

You shrug. "I've never listened to them before, so I wouldn't know."

"Oh come on? You haven't seen A Hard Day's Night?" His eyes widen when you shake your head. "Super Fly? Pulp Fiction? Purple Rain?"

You stifle a giggle at the look of pure shock he's sending you. "Nope. Should I have?"

"Absolutely!" He splutters. Passion shines in his eyes. "You're missing out on some of the greatest cinematography known to man!"

"I guess you have a lot to fill me in on, then."

"I sure do." His eyes soften. "Open the glove box."

You open it. Inside you find an assortment of cassette tapes, old and new. You send him a curious look.

"Close your eyes and choose one." He nods. "Go on."

You do as he says and shut your lids tightly, feeling around until your fingers curl around a tape you're strangely drawn to. When you open your eyes you find a worn box in your palm, yellow at the edges, and you're momentarily disappointed until Jungkook hums in approval beside you.

"Good choice! Dirty Dancing. A classic." He takes it from you and slides the tape into the stereo. It crackles a little before the music starts. "Trust me, you'll love it."

The stereo tracklist flashes amber. 01: Do You Love Me?

"You broke my heart 'cause I couldn't dance," Jungkook sings along in a deep voice, eyebrows bouncing as you loll your head to the side to send him an eye roll. "And now I'm back to let you know I can really shake 'em down!"

The song starts, all vibrant guitar and drums. It has a funky 60's groove, like it belongs in a swing dancing club instead of on the highway at sunset. It's a happy song and you think it suits Jungkook just right.

Speaking of Jungkook, he starts to bob his head in time with the beat, fingertips tapping in rhythm against the steering wheel. He looks adorably dorky, losing himself to the song, like he's forgotten you're even sat beside him.

"You look like an idiot." You deadpan, though you can't cover the laugh that escapes you as he sings along louder.

"No, I look like I'm having fun!" Jungkook rolls down the window and turns up the music so loud he has to shout for you to hear him. "Don't you ever do this? Just give in to the music for a while? Let your body do what it wants?"

"Uh, no. I prefer to just listen." You shout back. "Besides, your body should be focused on driving this car right now--"

"Oh come on! Just try it."

"Try it?" You blink, stomach suddenly knotting."Like now? In front of you?"

"Well duh. Look. Copy me."

He starts to shake his shoulders from side to side, fingers clicking as he nods for you to do the same.

"I...okay." You start to copy, but you catch yourself in the rear view mirror and you just look stiff compared to how effortlessly Jungkook moves to the rhythm.

"See you're doing it!" Jungkook grins, throwing his head back. "Feels good huh?"

"Kinda..." You have to admit there is something liberating about just letting go. "Like this?"

Your knees volunteer themselves to the beat, and then your arms, and before you know it you've got your eyes closed, hair whipping around your face as you speed down the interstate

"That's it. Feel the music!"

Before you know it, the song ends and you realise all at once that you're laughing. Loud and free, enough to make your belly hurt. Jungkook is too, the sound better than any song you've ever heard, and neither of you can seem to stop.

"Oh my god." You pant, covering your face with your fingers, embarrassed. "Now we both look like idiots."

"Don't hide from me." Jungkook bites his lip. You're suddenly aware of how close he is. His arms grab your wrists, pulling them away from your face, but he doesn't drop the one closest to him. Instead he links your fingers and uses your shared grip to change the gear as he turns down a winding road.

"I'm shy." You say, and you can feel the heat in your cheeks.

"Why? You're beautiful." Jungkook puts the car into park. You realise all at once that you've been driving for ages and you didn't even panic once. "Besides, we've arrived. And you're not gonna wanna miss seeing this."

The destination Jungkook seems so excited about turns out to be a concrete parking lot.

"Where are we, Jungkook?" You ask, looking around but finding nothing but tyre tracks and dirt.

Jungkook has already hopped out of the drivers side, sliding over the hood of the car to tug open your door with a quirk of his brow.

He holds out his palm, upturned and calloused. "Do you trust me?"

You bite your lip, heart pounding. Do you trust him?

Your body speaks for you and you slide your hand into his. His thumb traces your knuckles reassuringly.

"Yes." You breathe. "I trust you."

"Good."

You yelp when an arm wraps around your waist and hoists you out of the car, tightly interlocked fingers blocking your vision like a makeshift blindfold. "Don't open your eyes until I tell you to."

"Okay." You giggle, feet stumbling as you try to find your balance with the help of a sturdy hand beneath your elbow.

Jungkook hums gently beneath his breath as he guides you up a path that turns from concrete to loose rock to dampened grass beneath the soles of your beat up sneakers. There's a voice in the back of your mind that tells you to be nervous; who knows where he could be taking you right now.

But as you breathe in the musty notes of his cologne and feel your heart flutter in your chest when he comes to a stop and rests his chin on your shoulder, just close enough to feel his laugh ghost across your neck, you don't care where in the world you are right now as long as it's beside him.

"Now, open."

The sun is startlingly bright when you open your eyes for the first time and see the vibrant meadow that stretches as far as you can see.

Wait — that's not the sun. It's sunflowers. Clusters of them, cheerfully waving with the breeze from where you stand on the path that continues for a few steps before it disappears among their stems.

The sunflowers are a burst of golden colour against the fading green of the meadow, and the horizon beyond that which boasts the silhouette of beach rock against the soft blue of the ocean at sunset. There's tracks here and there where the uncut grass is trampled, like some children had played hide and seek.

You reach out a hand and brush your fingertips over the velvety petals; breathe in the botanical scent of the fresh sunny blooms that dances through the meadow. It's breathtaking, you think. There's no coordination, just freedom choreographed by the wind as the tall stems sway back and forth in their gentle dance.

Before you know it you've taken off into a run, grinning with childlike glee when the tall grass tickles your nose and the sun whispers against your neck.

"Jungkook, this place is—"

"Beautiful right?" You nod breathlessly, blushing deeply when you come to a stop and find him staring right at you. He squeezes your hand and that's when you notice your fingers are still interlinked. "I come here a lot. When I need to think."

"How did you find this place?"

"Taehyung and I stumbled upon it a few summers ago by accident." He says. "Nobody knows about it. It's our secret."

"It's so beautiful." You whisper. "The whole world needs to see this."

Jungkook kicks at a stone with the toe of his boot. "I kinda like it being a secret. This place...is special to me."

"Then why...." The words get caught in your throat. You swallow and try again. "Why did you bring me here?"

"I wanted to show you the things I find most beautiful. Remember?"

"The sunflowers?"

"Well yeah..." He scratches the back of his neck. Swallows thickly, like he's preparing himself. "But I was thinking of something a little different..."

You close your eyes, a smile appearing on your lips as you let the crisp breeze caress your face. "Then what?"

There's a sharp click of a shutter, and when your lashes flutter open in surprise, Jungkook is shaking a Polaroid picture back and forth, his eyes glinting with something mischievous.

"Hey! Give me that—" You reach for the Polaroid, stomach churning with a sudden shyness that makes you hug your arms.

"Just — don't do that okay?" He holds it out of reach, pleading with his eyes. "Please."

"Do what?"

"Give up on what makes you happy just because you're scared." His palm cups your cheek. "You said it yourself. Being in front of the camera is where you belong. Don't you see that?"

"I'm not scared." You feel the heat rise in your cheeks when Jungkook sends you a knowing look. "Okay maybe I am scared. And so what if I am? You've already given me the face your fears spiel and I told you. I'm perfectly happy avoiding every camera known to man for the rest of my life if it means I never have to face them."

"But you've already faced one of your fears today. You got in my car, remember?" He raises an eyebrow, smug. "Well, two technically, 'cause you're here with me now and I know how nervous you used to get around me--"

"Did not!"

"Do too! Every time we talk outside of work you get all shy and--"

"Shut up."

"See! You're doing it right now!"

You don't know what compels you to do it. Maybe it's the heat rising in the apples of your cheeks or the way your heart quickens when Jungkook closes the gap between you, but before you can stop yourself you're reaching up and grasping his face with both hands.

"Oh just shut up and kiss me, doofus."

The smug smirk on Jungkook's face is replaced with wide eyed surprise, his lips falling still for a moment when yours crash against his. But then his steady hands find your waist and he supports you on your tip toes so he can pull you ever closer, melting into the plush press of your lips.

When you pull back, you're smiling. You can't help it. You've been dreaming of this moment since, like, middle school. And goddamn, he even tastes how you imagined. Like black coffee and toothpaste.

"See." He tucks a strand of hair behind your ear. "Happiness suits you."

"Whatever, Jeon." You smirk. "Don't let it go to your head, but it's thanks to you."

Jungkook flashes you the biggest bunny grin you've ever seen, eyes sparkling at your words.

"Wait...stay like that." He reaches for his camcorder in his backpack and points the lens at you. The smile falls from your lips. You place a hand on his arm, grip tighter than you intended.

"Jungkook stop."

"What's wrong? Just keep smiling like that, the shot was perfect—"

"I don't know what to do." You shrug, the lens boring into you like a judgy aunt at Thanksgiving dinner. "The camera makes me nervous."

"Just pretend I'm not here."

You sniff. "I don't want you to not be here..."

"Listen," Jungkook cups your face, thumbs tracing your cheeks fondly. "The reason I brought you here? It's because this place reminds me of you. Beautiful."

"Jungkook--"

"Just like you said, the world needs to see this place. Just like they need to see you."

"I..." Your heart is on the verge of exploding, you would swear it. "Okay." The word rolls off your tongue before you can stop it because somehow you trust him. And deep down, there's still that fizz of excitement mixing in with all the nervousness. The Jungkook Effect. You don't want to lose it to the darkness like everything else.

"I'll try. Just-- don't laugh at me okay?"

"You have my word, sarge." He salutes with a thoughtful grin. "Hold on a sec. I know exactly what you need to get you going."

Jungkook jumps to his feet and you watch with your chin tucked between your knees as he jogs down the rocky path and opens all four of the truck doors, even the trunk, before his head disappears into the vehicle and the same pumping bass from earlier starts blasting into the quiet serene of the sunflower field.

"There," He grins as he returns, out of breath, and sits back down beside you cross legged, holding his camcorder to his eye. "Now do what you were doing before again, but over there. Just pretend you're on stage at the Crestmont, okay?"

You feel the music wash over you and the urge to move hits you like a wave. Jungkook nods encouragingly and there's something in his eyes that flips a switch inside you. And for the first time in a long time, all the passion and spirit and feeling inside you fizzes up to the top and you can't contain it any longer.

"That's it!" Jungkook calls, shutter clicking uncontrollably. "I knew you could do it!"

An oak tree provides sun-flecked shade, a cool sanctuary from the sun that sets on the horizon and splashes the sky's canvas magenta.

Jungkook laid out a checkered blanket from the trunk of his truck which you both lay upon, shoulders pressed together as close as humanly possible, surrounded by your devoured picnic consisting of his mom's fruit punch and bags of snacks he took from the concession stand at the Crestmont when nobody was looking.

"Holy shit, Y/N." He says through a mouthful of popcorn, jabbing his finger at his favourite shot of you in front of the sunflowers. "This is what I've been saying! You're a natural in front of the camera."

"No, you're amazing, Jungkook." You feel for his hand. It's funny how natural it feels already when his pinky links with yours. "Behind the camera."

"You think?" He chews his lip, eyes searching yours for approval.

"I know. You should do something with these. People need to see them."

"I'm thinking of becoming a filmographer, actually"

"Like at the pier?" You think of the tacky photo booth that overlooks the sea in town, fit with all the silly cardboard cut outs that tourists come and take a photo with for a dollar.

"No, I mean a real filmographer." He shrugs, and you're sure there's a trace of a blush on his cheeks. "Y'know. Movies and stuff."

You nod. It makes sense for Jungkook to spend his life with a camera glued to his right hand. You can't imagine Jungkook anywhere else, and you have to ignore the sinking feeling that comes with the realisation that he would eventually leave Ocean City -- and you -- behind for the big screen.

"Well you bet your ass I'll be front row to watch each and every one, Jeon Jungkook."

"My lucky star." Jungkook smiles.

"Always."

He must see the sadness brimming inside you, his body shuffling closer so your knees brush. It's reassuring somewhat.

"Actually...there's something I should tell you."

He shifts under your gaze. The nerves rush back. "What is it?"

"I guess I finished writing my first screenplay..."

"That's like a movie script, right?" You ask eagerly, and he nods. "That's great, Kook!"

"Yeah, it's great it's just --" He pauses, and clutches your hand tighter like he's scared what he says next will make you let go forever. "It's about you."

You pale. "M-me?"

"I mean, it's about you and...and Taehyung! And your mom." Jungkook rushes. "I was inspired by your story at the boardwalk and it just happened! I'm sorry, I know you probably hate me now and think I'm crazy but--"

"Burn it." You deadpan.

Jungkook blinks. "W..what?"

"I said burn it." You pull his hand into your lap and he lets out a sigh of relief. "I don't hate you, Kook. I just think you were right earlier when you said I need to face my fears. And the only way I can do that is by forgetting my past. The last thing I need is a whole freaking movie about it."

He joins in with your strained chuckles. "Sure you aren't mad?"

"Not mad." You assure with a smile.

"Then I'll burn it."

You avoid his gaze shyly. "I'm kinda honoured you wrote about me, though." You admit.

"I guess...I guess I could call you my muse." Jungkook blurts hurriedly. His nose is a deep shade of pink and it makes you want to tease him forever.

"Yeah." You nod to yourself with a smile. "I like that. Your muse."

And then his lips are on yours again, like he can't quite help himself, and you start to forget where yours begin and his end.

This time it's not delicate and sweet. It's slow and languid, hot and heavy. The sunflowers break your fall, Jungkook's lips never leaving yours as he climbs on top of you, one hand tangled in your hair, the other planted beside your head so that his chest hovers above yours. You're almost certain he can feel how hard your heart is pounding in your chest, but you don't care, too lost in the bliss of finally feeling Jungkook's plush lips against your own.

"Come to New York with me." He says breathlessly between kisses, and your heart stops.

"What?" You can hardly drag your lips away from his but you have to be sure you heard him right. New York?

"I mean, in the future. I'm gonna go to New York. Get a job at a film production company or something, I don't know--" He tucks a piece of hair behind your ear. "Come with me."

"I...I can't."

"Why?" He frowns. "Is it me?"

"No! God no."

"Then why? You said it was your dream right?" You nod. "So what's stopping you?"

"I..I have to take care of Taehyung, and my job at the Crestmont and--"

"Okay. Lets pretend none of that exists. It's just you and me." His breath ghosts against your forehead. "Y/N, will you come to New York with me?"

"Yes." It comes out breathless, but you mean it. With every atom and nerve and fiber in your body. "Lets go to New York."

Where things change.

3 years later.

A postcard sits on the Welcome Home! Doormat you and Jungkook bought before you left for New York. You recognise the picture perfect image of Ocean City on the front, and Taehyung's messy scrawl on the back that tells you he's doing fine at his new management job at the Crestmont and he will be sending a housewarming gift imminently.

— Stay smiling, Y/N. Miss you already! Taehyung. :)

With a small smile you tack it onto the bare fridge. It brightens up the empty kitchen somewhat, a little piece of home and a reminder that you don't need to worry about leaving your brother behind to fend for himself so much any more. Since he pulled his life together and got a job at the theatre, it's like he came alive again. Found his purpose.

Speaking of purposes, you suppose that's how you found yourself here. In your very own apartment in a nice complex on the east side. The east side of New York City.

There's a pair of satin curtains hung over the balcony doors, probably left behind by the old tenant as it's the only form of furniture in the whole apartment. They rustle in the morning breeze and you tiptoe across the room barefoot to rip them open, letting your eyes flutter shut when the early morning sun filters through the glass and cascades over your face like a warm embrace.

You press a hand to the glass, studying your reflection; the messy lump of hair atop your head, the soft shadow of your lashes atop your cheeks. And beyond it, New York. Your new normal in all it's familiar glory from your dreams, yet still so deliciously foreign it makes your heart leap whenever a cab horn rings out in the distance or you breathe in the smell of fresh bagels from the shop down the street.

Home. You could finally call it that now. But New York is just a city and this apartment is just a house. The real reason you get to call this place home is because of who you came here with.

Jungkook.

You've been dating for two and a half years by now. He let you borrow one of his old much-too-big t-shirts to sleep in last night. There's a hole in the shoulder and the hem brushes your knees but it's warm and smells like his cologne and your heart expands when you close your eyes and remember this is just the beginning. You have so much to do, so many things to see here in New York. So many things to learn. And there's nobody you would want to explore life with more than Jungkook.

His camera equipment lays in a cardboard box by your feet, and something compels you to take out the old-school camcorder he loves. The leather strap tightens perfectly around your hand and the red RECORD button flashes as you open the doors wide and lift the lens to take in the view. Something tells you you're gonna want to remember this moment forever.

It's not long before a pair of arms wrap around your waist, chin tucked cheekily into your shoulder. "There you are." Jungkook husks, stilly groggy with sleep as his lips ghost across your cheek.

Turning around in his grasp, you find him still shirtless, sweatpants slung low around his hips. He's been working out recently, and you can't deny you don't love how firm his shoulders feel when you brace yourself on them to stand on your tip toes and leave a peck to his lips.

"Morning sleepyhead," you say, running your fingers through the strands of his silky bed hair. It's longer these days, whispering across the nape of his neck and falling across his round eyes sweetly. They flutter closed when you massage his scalp just how he likes it. "I was wondering when you'd finally get out of bed."

"Missed you." His lips turn up when he sees the camera pointed at his face. "Whaddya doing with that?"

"Making memories." You say simply, zooming in on him as he rubs his sleepy eyes. "So we never forget this."

A cheeky smirk appears on his lips as he wraps you in his arms, a surprised giggle leaving you when he spins you around and grabs the camera so he can point it at the both of you, his chin resting on your shoulder now as his bare arm snugly wraps around your waist.

"Hey stop! I just woke up, I look bad!"

"Hello us of the future," Jungkook chuckles, pulling your fingers away from your face when you bury your face in his chest to hide from the lens. "It's our first day in New York and Y/N is being all camera shy--okay, okay fine, lets show them the view instead!"

Jungkook finally flips the lens around so it focuses on the distant silhouettes of tall skyscrapers skimming the blue skyline, before he turns it back onto you guys once more with a mischievous look this time.

"But we have to go now because we have far more interesting business to attend to..." He lowers the camera as his lips start to trail up your collar bone and he smiles when your eyes flutter shut and you gasp at the feeling, but it's quickly replaced by a pout when you wriggle out of his embrace with a stern look.

"Not now. Later."

"Mmf? Why?" He whines, making grabby hands towards you. "You're so warm, jus' wanna cuddle for a bit."

"No time!" You call over your shoulder as you grab him by the hand and drag his heavy feet behind you. "We've got an apartment to decorate."

Before you know it you've enlisted Jungkook's help in laying tarps across the living room floor, two pots of bright white paint plonked in the center. It's not like you could afford a decorator after all. You are two broke twenty-something's trying to make it big in New York, and all that cliche stuff. So you would just have to do it yourselves.

Jungkook's over in the corner, miming along to the guitar solo from some rock song playing from the radio balanced on the windowsill, the paint roller his instrument as he dances around the room with giddy impulse. There's paint all over his butt where he accidentally leaned against one of the wet walls and he's got his hair tied back into a bun at the crown of his head and you watch him out of the corner of your eye while an affectionate smile creeps onto your face no matter how hard you try to curb it.

That's when you notice the camera in his other hand. He zooms in on the stepladder in the corner, the paint spillage in the hall, the heart with Y/N + JUNGKOOK FOREVER written inside it on the back wall. Documenting everything as usual.

He was always filming you, too. Whether you were making coffee in the morning or drying your hair. He'd even slow down beside you on the sidewalk to get the perfect shot.

You find it cute, even though you pretend to hate it. It makes your heart flutter every time you catch him rewinding the footage with a contented smile on his face, like he just captured the whole world with his lens.

It's no surprise when you finish putting the final coat on the wall and step back to admire your handy work that you find him wandering around the apartment with his hand curved around the lens of one of his bigger cameras like it's natural to him. You always joke that thing is like an extra limb, but he looks so calm as he looks through his lens at the room that is now drunk on the afternoon sun pouring through the window, the golden rays like honey on his skin, that it's easy to see that the camera really is a part of him. Passion lies in the soft lines of concentration on his face, in the plump lip tugged between teeth as he fiddles with the settings.

Jungkook sees beauty where others don't, where others can't. It might as well pump through his veins. And it's one of the reasons you love him so much.

You shake your head when you see how a small smile finds his lips when he leans a shoulder against the door frame and lets the camera land on the thing he swears is most beautiful.

"Hey." You warn, shooting a side wards glare at the camera lens you spot Jungkook not so discreetly pointing in your direction. "Stop it."

"Stop what?" He runs a hand through his hair, lips pulling back into a sly bunny smile when you bend down to reach a spot you missed at the bottom of the wall. "I'm not doing anything."

Your upper lip twitches. "Are you zooming in on my ass?"

"What? No!" Jungkook scrunches his nose with wide eyes, a habit you knew meant he was guilty, a pout forming on your lips as he snaps the viewfinder closed and shoves the offending piece of his equipment behind his back.

You narrow your eyes affectionately. "Perv."

"I don't know what you're talking about." He blows a strand of hair out of his face innocently but there's a playful glint in his eyes and you can hardly keep a serious face as you plant your hands on your hips in what you hope is a menacing manner.

"Then lemme see it." You challenge with a nod to the camera behind him.

He feigns indifference, cocking his head to the side like an overgrown puppy. "See what?"

"That's it!" You shake your head, charging towards and him making grabby motions towards the camera. Jungkook looks down at you fondly as he holds it above your head, out of reach, and it only makes you you pout harder. "Hey! Give it!

"Never!" You jump pitifully, fingers grasping around nothing. A melodic chuckle spills from Jungkook's lips when you cross your arms over your chest in defeat and blink up at him crossly. "You have to say the magic word first."

You scoff at the teasing look on his face as he wiggles his eyebrows and waves the camera just above your head, before an idea strikes you and within seconds you're wielding a paintbrush, Jungkook's eyes widening when you point the paint coated bristles at his face.

"Give it up." You hold out your palm with a smug look. "Or the walls are not the only thing getting a fresh coat."

"You wouldn't." He smirks, despite being backed into a corner now.

"Oh yeah?" Without further ado you swipe the brush down the bridge of his nose, swallowing a giggle at the white smudge it leaves behind and his shocked expression beneath it. "You underestimate me, Jeon."

Jungkook pushes his tongue into his cheek, eyes dancing up and down your body before they lock with yours daringly. "You shouldn't have done that."

"Or what?" You taunt playfully, a laugh escaping you, but you quickly bite down on your lip when you see the glint in Jungkook's eyes as he submerges both his hands into the nearby bucket of paint.

You don't run when he steps closer. Instead your breathing quickens, heart doing a funny somersault when he brushes your hair to the side and clamps both of his wet hands on the sides of your jaw to bring your face up to his.

He tastes like coffee and desire when your lips crash together in a delicious tangle of teeth and tongue, all the thoughts racing through your mind dripping away like honey until all that's left is the thump of your heart against your chest and Jungkook's warmth as he backs you up against the wall.

When he pulls away he rubs his paint covered nose against yours, cocking his head and smiling sweetly when he leans back and admires his handy work.

"You have paint on your face." He looks down at his white hands innocently with a shrug. "Whoops?"

His hands trail down to your hips. You reach to your side and grab a fistful of paint, wiping it down the centre of his face and giggling when he groans and scrunches his eyes closed . "So do you."

"Okay, that's it. This means war!" Jungkook growls, strong arms wrapping around your waist, and before you know it you're stumbling over to the mattress in the corner, Jungkook's body hovering over yours.

"You wanna play dirty, huh?" Desire-filled eyes trace your face, travelling down the expanse of your neck before zeroing in on your collar bones. You gasp when Jungkook's lips attach themselves to the sensitive skin, every inch of you set alight when his burning fingers slide beneath the hem of your tshirt and find your thighs. "Always being such a bad girl, huh?"

"So? What're you gonna do about it? Punish me?" You say teasingly, and he stiffens, lips leaving a mark behind on your neck with a pop. Jungkook's narrowed eyes meet yours and you feel your heart speed up with anticipation.

His lips twitch, like they're dying to turn up. "Brat."

With that, you're being flipped over onto your knees with a yelp. Jungkook's hands work quickly and before you know it your tshirt is over your head and the sudden breeze from the open balcony doors against your hardened nipples makes you gasp.

"You love it." You laugh breathily.

"Too much," Jungkook confirms, before his large palm presses you down into the bed firmly between the shoulder blades so that your ass is thrust up in the air. You wiggle is teasingly, though the breath catches in your throat when the first spank lands on your bare skin. Then a second, the sound ringing out through the empty room like an echo and making a damp spot appear on your panties.

"Hey!" You chastise when you remember the paint on his hands that just left two glaring handprints right across your ass.

Jungkook just smirks. "What? Now everyone knows it's mine."

A third slap and you have to bite the blanket to stop from groaning, then a fourth, and a fifth and by then your eyes are watering but in the best way. Calloused hands smooth over the burning area, soothing it.

"Good girl," A raspy voice whispers next to your ear. "Such a good girl for me, taking your punishment. I think you deserve your reward now, hm?"

"Please." You moan as he reaches around to grasp your breast, tweaking your nipples in a way that has you writhing beneath him.

"Don't say I didn't warn you though," Jungkook chuckles as he rips your panties down your legs, gasping at the sight of your dripping slit like it's the first time. He runs a finger down your folds, biting back a groan when it makes your legs fall open a little further, desperate for his touch. "I'm not gonna go easy on you."

"Jungkook, what do you-- oh!." Before you can finish, Jungkook is pushing your face back into the comforter, spreading your cheeks with his palms and licking an agonizingly slow stripe up your throbbing core. His tongue finds your clit easily, toying it with the tip playfully until you're gasping for air.

"Mmf, tastes so good." He murmurs against your folds, the vibrations of his chuckle making you moan so hard your legs start to shake. His tongue finds your hole, swirling around teasingly before it slips inside and you can't handle it anymore.

"Jungkook!" You gasp, reaching behind to grab his hair. "I..I can't-"

"You can." He says, almost a command, mouth leaving your pussy only so he can slide over onto his back and pull you back down onto his face by the hips.

"Oh g-god!" Your hand reaches for the headboard, landing on the wall to steady yourself when you remember you still haven't bought a bed frame yet. Your legs are starting to ache from holding yourself up but you don't care, too lost in the feeling of Jungkook's tongue lapping at your swollen folds as you grind in lazy circles on his face.

"C-close, Kook." You manage to splutter, head thrown back with pleasure when he slides two of his fingers inside you and starts to pump in time with his tongue, the sensation of being filled enough to send you over the edge into a shuddering climax that is unlike anything you've felt before, the only thought on your mind the way your hole clenches around your boyfriend's fingers.

It takes a few moments for your legs to stop shaking, your hearing slowly coming back into focus as you hear both of your heavy breaths intermingled. You look between your legs to find Jungkook staring up at you with a grin, eyes filled with wonder. His chin gleams with your juices, the front of his t-shirt damp as you realise with a gasp what just happened.

"Did I--?"

"Yup."

"Holy fuck." You swing your leg over his shoulder so you're beside him, Jungkook sitting up to look at you, still mesmerised. "I...I'm sorry, that was--"

"The hottest thing you've ever done." Jungkook finishes, grinning at you like he just won the lottery.

You raise a brow, surprised. "Really?"

"Yeah. Can I fuck you now?"

You can't help but laugh at his eager puppy dog eyes, hands practically twitching at his sides to touch you. A quick glance at his crotch confirms the biggest tent in his pants you've ever seen, and you crook a finger towards him with a sultry smile and a nod.

"Let's see if you can make me do that again."

"O-Okay!" Jungkook pulls his shirt over his head eagerly, and then he's on top of you, burning skin meeting burning skin. Your palm runs down his chest, Jungkook's eyes falling shut when it reaches the hem of his sweatpants. You cant help but gasp when your fingers wrap around his length through his boxers, core already throbbing again to be filled. He shivers when your finger circles his tip, admiring the wet patch on his boxers.

"Eager?" You smirk.

"You squirted on my face, Y/N, of course I'm goddamn eager."

"Get these off then." You tug at his pants and he kicks them off without a second telling.

"Your wish is my command."

When he returns to hovering over you, both completely bare now, he pauses. His eyes meet yours, a gentle smile appearing on his lips as he tucks a stray piece of hair behind your ear and grips your jaw protectively.

"I love you, y'know."

You close the distance between you, pressing your lips against his but barely able to keep yourself from grinning with the elation swirling in your chest. "I love you too, doofus. Now hurry up or I'm gonna have to fuck myself."

"That sounds kinda awesome--"

"Kook!"

"Okay, okay, on it!"

Palms spread your legs, and you both gasp when Jungkook runs the blunt head of his leaking cock up and down your slit, coating himself in your juices before he lines it up with your entrance.

"Ready?" He checks, thumb tracing circles into your inner thigh.

"As I'll ever be."

And with that, he pushes inside, his head falling into the crook of your neck with a sigh of relief at finally feeling your walls clenching around his throbbing length. The stretch of his girth stings, but it makes you feel so deliciously full, so perfectly whole to be connected to Jungkook like this that all you can get out is another soft I love you that earns a blissful smile from your boyfriend as he starts to move.

Each stroke makes you lose your breath, the tip of his cock hitting your sweet spot just right. It's when Jungkook takes your nipple into his mouth that you feel a second orgasm start to build, one hand gripping the sheets as the other drags scratch marks down his muscular back in blissful agony.

It's not long before Jungkook spills inside you with a deep growl, your own high hitting you as you feel him coat your walls. He collapses onto your chest, breaths deep and exhausted, and wraps you in his arms before you can even catch your breath.

Jungkook pulls the sheets up over your shoulders and places a kiss to the top of your head. He's so warm you feel yourself start to drift off into a blissful sleep, the smile on your lips never faltering.

"I love you too." Is the last thing you hear him say before sleep takes you under, and you're safe wrapped up in each other's arms.

When you open your eyes, the room is warm with sunset's rose tinted blush, and Jungkook's body is no longer beside you. Rubbing your bleary eyes, you sit up on your elbow and find him on the ground in front of the freshly painted wall, intricate petals and stems flowing from the end of the paintbrush he delicately waves across the surface to paint the prettiest sunflower you've ever seen.

"I'm home!" You hear your boyfriend yell out as he shuffles into the apartment, quickly followed by a yelp. "Hey, Gureum, stop trying to lick my face!"

You can't stop the smile that spreads across your features when a ball of white fluff comes bounding into the living room, the puppy that excitedly jumps into your arms tracking a trail of muddy paw prints over the script in your hands.

"Hey Gureum," You coo, scratching him behind the ears where you know his sweet spot is. "You're such a good boy, huh?"

"Don't praise him! He totally ran away from me in Central Park and I had to chase him all the way home!" You can practically hear Jungkook's eye roll, shaking your head fondly at the mock annoyance in his voice. It was Jungkook who begged you to adopt a puppy for months in the first place, and they've been more or less inseparable ever since — the little guy hardly ever leaves his side. It's safe to say Jungkook is definitely Gureum's favourite.

The smell of coffee and fresh bagels wafts through the apartment, a warm sensation settling in your stomach as your boyfriend rounds the corner and waves a brown paper bag.

"Still got us enough coffee to stay up all night learning lines though." Jungkook grins, dumping the contents onto the coffee table and raising his eyebrows when your hands dart straight for the chocolate cookies. "Speaking of learning lines, how is it going, pretty?"

He nods towards the script in your hand. It's worn at the edges and ferociously dog eared from all the nights you have stayed up until sunrise reciting the words littered across the pages over and over, until it's like your lips are moving by muscle memory and the words are a part of you.

After what felt like hundreds of failed auditions, you had started to lose hope. With every letter that landed on the porch with another SORRY or MAYBE NEXT TIME, you felt all the confidence in the dream you worked so hard to uncover start to dwindle.

But Jungkook was always there, by your side no matter what. Encouraging you when you forgot your lines or holding you when you didn't get the callback. Reminding you to eat whenever you were too absorbed in your work to cook or cheering you on from the crowd at your weekly improv performances.

It was Jungkook who cried with you when the director of the small theatre downtown called and gave you the lead part in his upcoming stage production. Your big break. And you were determined to make sure everything ran smoothly at opening night tomorrow, which is how you find yourself snuggled up on the couch rewinding your VHS copy of Dirty Dancing over and over again until you have every word memorised by heart.

"Pretty good." You say as you pop a salted peanut into your mouth while Jungkook slips out of his tweed jacket. He's been trying to dress more New-York-ish these days, or so he says. More dress pants and less sweats. "Final rehearsals start at five."

"Aren't you nervous?" Jungkook squishes into the space beside you, Gureum cuddling up between your bodies.

Tomorrow night's show is sold out, along with every night after that for the next week. You heard there were going to be at least 700 people there each night.

"Terribly." You admit, stomach churning at the thought of 700 pairs of eyes staring right at you. You try to focus on the fizzing excitement that lingers there too, growing stronger and stronger. "But I think I'm more excited".

"I'm excited to see you up there doing what you love." Jungkook smiles, tucking a piece of hair behind your ear. "My star."

"Well don't get too excited because I still keep messing up this one goddamn scene," You flip the script to a page covered in bright highlighter scribbles and run your fingers through your hair exasperatedly. "I'm totally gonna mess it up and then I'll never get another job and—"

"Shhh," Jungkook takes the script from your hands and runs his eyes over it quickly. "Don't talk like that. You're gonna be amazing — hold up..." He raises an eyebrow. "Is this...the kiss scene?"

You feel your cheeks redden, voice small. "Yes."

"Then you're in luck because who better to help you practice than the best kisser in all of New York?"

You snort. "Wow, I sure could use some of your expertise Good-Sir-Makes-Out-A-Lot."

"Then you're in the right place..." He runs his finger over the script, jabbing at one line in particular.

[Johnny and Baby kiss.]

"Let's start here, hm? For practice, obviously."

"For practice." Your eyes roll but your heart still beats a little faster as he closes the space between you, hand pressing into the wall so his sturdy body hovers over yours, hands instinctively pulling him closer by the collar.

"Come give me a kiss, m'lady..." Jungkook murmurs, but before he can tilt your chin up towards his lips there's a sudden series of frantic knocks at the front door.

"What the heck?"

You both jump out of your skin, Jungkook's eyes narrowing as he glances over his shoulder at the shadowy figure outside, fist pounding the glass fervently, like they're trying to break it down.

"Okay, damn, I'm coming!" He yells with a roll of his eyes. He wraps the blanket around your shoulders as he hops up from the couch with a sigh. "Probably just some dumb marketer again or something — dude, chill! I said I'm coming! — be right back."

The lock slides open and you hear Jungkook gasp. Your stomach drops. "Who is it?"

"Uh, Y/N..." You hear the door click shut and the sound of squeaky shoes shuffling inside. The anxiety in Jungkook's voice makes your heart skip. "You might wanna come see this."

"Huh?" Your legs feel shaky as you follow him out into the hall, chest seizing when you lay eyes on the dripping wet hair and chattering teeth of the shivering man stood before you, eyes dark and grave like they used to be.

"Taehyung?" You splutter, ripping the blanket from around your shoulders and swaddling him in it as quickly as you can, Jungkook already bounding into the other room to get dry clothes and towels after shooting you a terrified glance.

Taehyung grabs your shoulders and pulls you into a tight embrace. His cheeks are wet against your shoulder, but you can't tell if it's because he's been crying or because he's been out in the freezing cold rain — hold on, did he walk here?

"Y/N," He murmurs frantically, eyes darting back and forth but never quite focusing on anything. You knew this look. This is how he looked that day you found out about the accident. Murky, far far away. Devastatingly sad. Something wasn't right.

"What is it?" You ask, pulling him into the living room and sitting him on the couch before his shaking knees buckle beneath him. "What are you doing here, Tae?"

"It's...it's the Crestmont." He whispers.

"What about the Crestmont?" Jungkook appears behind Taehyung, placing a comforting hand on his shoulder, but it's like your brother doesn't even feel it.

"They're tearing it down." He mumbles. "They're tearing down the Crestmont. Forever."

"Okay, now let's start from the beginning."

Jungkook's calm voice lilts from beside Taehyung who, after a warm shower and two cups of cocoa, has stopped shivering and seems to be ready to talk.

A hand reaches across the coffee table to tug on your wrist mid-lift to your mouth, a reminder from Jungkook to stop biting your nails. An old nervous habit you thought you'd left behind in Ocean City but apparently more than just Taehyung showed up here unannounced tonight.

"I...I got a call this morning." Taehyung begins, pausing to take a sip from the mug he cradles in his lap. His hands are shaking so he places it on the coffee table for safe keeping, right beside your discarded script. "It was from a construction company."

"And?" You prod, somewhat impatiently, making Taehyung jump.

"And apparently the owner of the theatre is behind on rent and...and..." He swallows hard. "And they're buying the rights to tear it down and build an apartment complex in its place."

"What?" Both you and Jungkook exclaim at the same time.

Jungkook's fists clench. "I always knew that old man was shady."

Taehyung fumbles in the pocket of the coat he arrived with, retrieving a brochure which he thrusts towards you.

The image on the front is of a metal skyscraper, far too shiny and new to belong in a seaside town like Ocean City. Fusion Apartments — modern living.

Jungkook rakes a hand through his hair, eyes sorrowful as you pass it over to him. "This sucks. Big time." He murmurs. "The Crestmont is the heart of Ocean City. How can they just bulldoze it like it means nothing?"

"That's why..." Taehyung swallows. "That's why I came here. I thought maybe you guys could help me, and we could do something before they—"

"We?" You furrow your brows. "You want us to help stop them from tearing down the Crestmont?"

"I mean yeah, I guess? I figured you guys would understand how important it is—"

You bite your lip. Taehyung flinches when you place a hand on his knee. "Tae. It seems like they've already got it figured out I mean...what can we do about it? The Crestmont has had a long run and maybe it's time for something new in Ocean City..."

"Y/N?" Jungkook warns, but there's a betrayal in his voice. How could you say that? It pains you, but you continue anyway. "What are you saying?"

"I just...I think it's time to let the Crestmont go."

Taehyung stands up so abruptly his mug smashes onto the marble tile.

"How could you?" He roars, but his bottom lip trembles. "The Crestmont is mom's place! It's all we have left of her in that fucking town and you want to just let them burn it to the ground?"

You tut, kneeling to pick up the broken pieces of china with a sharp glance at your brother. "For goodness sake, Taehyung. Mom isn't there anymore. She never was. She was always running off with some roadies and leaving us behind because she thought she was something special."

Taehyung scoffs. "What? Just like you?" He grabs the cocoa sodden script, crumpling it up in his shaking fist. "You are exactly the same as her. Running off to New York and leaving me behind to get your big break."

Jungkook steps forward warily. "Taehyung, you don't mean that—"

"Yes I do! If Y/N had just gotten in the car that day she wouldn't have died. It was all her fault. And now she's just gonna let them take what we have left of her."

"What?" Jungkook blinks.

Your stomach sinks. Is that really what Taehyung thinks? You wouldn't blame him. Deep down, his words strike a nerve. Because you know they're true.

Taehyung's eyes are hazy, unfocused. You reach for him dizzily, but he backs away into the hall.

"I shouldn't have come here." Taehyung whispers. He looks between you and Jungkook one last time before he's grabbing his coat and running down the steps to the first floor.

"Taehyung, wait!" You hear Jungkook's footsteps follow him out into the stairwell, but you're trapped on the ground, heaving for air.

Your hands shake as you pull yourself up to the window pane and watch Taehyung disappear into the gloom of the city, the sorrowful raindrops that lash against the glass mirroring the ones on your cheeks.

YOU: Taehyung??? YOU: [CALL IGNORED] YOU: please Tae YOU: can we at least talk about this? YOU: we're worried about you

It's been nearly 12 hours since you watched Taehyung disappear among the hustle and bustle of New York from your apartment window.

You and Jungkook were out all night searching for him. By the time you gave up the sun was rising and the birds were chirping and Jungkook somehow convinced your shivering form to return home to rest with a Taehyung shaped hole in your heart.

"It'll be okay. He'll be okay. He always is."

A phone call to your dad revealed he hadn't returned home that night; so where did he go exactly?

The weight of that question sits heavy in your chest as you sit backstage at the theatre, staring into your own vacant eyes in the dressing room mirror.

It's opening night. The show is due to start in fifteen minutes. Your lips are painted a deep shade of red, hair backcombed to perfection by one of the makeup artists. Beneath the harsh lights of the exposed bulbs that line the mirror, you look almost unrecognisable.

Confident, strong, successful.

Anyone would say your dreams had come true, or something sappy to that effect. But even as you sit among the hustle and bustle of the costume team and breathe in the fragrance of perfume and powder blush, you couldn't feel further away from the New York version of yourself if you tried.

Staring back at you is a reflection of the shy, terrified girl from Ocean City you worked so hard to forget. Yet here she is, mind whirring with worries for her brother instead of the lines she should be rehearsing to death before curtain call.

This should be your big moment. One which you will remember forever. But all you want to do right now is hold Taehyung close like you used to and tell him you're sorry and that you won't leave him again.

"Y/N!" You're snapped out of your thoughts by a familiar hand on your shoulder. You cover it with your own, instantly eased somewhat when you glance up and lock eyes with Jungkook in the mirror.

"Y/N, I found him."

"What?!" You jump to your feet, chair scraping obscenely. It draws the eyes of the people around you who quickly register Jungkook's polite smile as their cue to shuffle out of the dressing room and leave you two to talk. "Where is he? I need to talk to him—"

"He's not coming."

"What?"

Jungkook sinks into the chair beside you, forehead creased. He runs a hand through his hair and momentarily you catch a glimpse of the old Jungkook. The Jungkook that always took care of his best friend Taehyung.

"I...I gave him a ticket for the show tonight and told him to come. To see how much this really means to you...but—"

Your finger nails press half moons into your palms. "But what, Kook?"

"He was already leaving for Ocean City."

A sob wracks your frame. "Do you think he hates me?"

Jungkook's arms engulf you before the first tear can roll down your cheek, his chin tucking perfectly into the cleft of your shoulder. "Of course not, he's just...he's hurting right now."

"I can't lose him — not like this, Kook..."

"Shh. It'll all be okay."

You jump back and start to pace. "But it's not okay! What he said last night is true!"

Jungkook sucks in a breath. "What?"

Your knees buckle and you crumple. You can hardly breathe, shame washing over you as you admit the truth for the first time.

"I caused the accident! I'm the reason my mom's...she's..."

Jungkook wraps his arm around your shoulder, voice soothing. "What are you talking about?"

"The night of the accident she got a call from some big buck director. She was cast in this huge movie. Her big break." You're speaking to fast, but Jungkook nods to tell you he's listening.

"So she told Taehyung and I we were leaving for New York that night. And we were packing our bags before my dad got home and...and I said I wasn't coming. I didn't wanna leave Ocean City behind."

"I kicked and cried and said I didn't want to go, so her and Taehyung took off by themselves and that's when they got into the crash. She was upset and going too fast. It was all because of me." You start to sob. You've never admitted this to anyone before. Not even yourself. It tears your heart in two to say it out loud. "I'm the reason Taehyung's broken."

"You can't think like that." Jungkook clasps your face in his hands, thumb wiping away a stray tear. He looks scared, but his voice stays calm and convincing. "What happened was an accident. You were a kid. None of this is your fault."

"That's why Taehyung must hate me so much." You choke. "I'm doing what mom always wanted to, but she never had the chance because of me."

"Y/N?" A crew member steps into the room awkwardly with a cough. "I'm sorry to interrupt but the show is about to start. The audience is getting restless."

"Go. I'll take care of Taehyung, okay?" Jungkook pulls you to your feet, engulfing you in a final hug before he pushes you towards the stage entrance at the small of your back. "You're needed out there. Show them what you're made of."

Your eyes widen. This can't be happening. Not now.

"I...I can't."

"You can." Jungkook grabs your face and captures your lips, hard. It tastes salty with tears. "You're my star remember?"

"I love you." You whisper when you pull back, fingers reaching for him weakly as a costume designer hurries you towards the door.

"I love you too." Jungkook calls. His smile is the last thing you see before the door slams shut and there's no going back. "Now go break a leg, pretty!"

Particles of dust float in and out of your vision beneath the blinding stage lights.

Everything feels different from side stage. Your heart races as you press your ear to the velvet curtain separating you from the world, listening to the hubbub of laughing children and chattering adults filtering into the theatre. You imagine them taking their seats, buying icecream from the vendors, alive with anticipation.

The lights dim. You hear the director behind you, shouting something about places please! but it's like you're underwater, limbs weighted as you move like a ghost to your position for the opening number.

Your palms are clammy and you wipe them on your dress.

Show starting in 5...

Your legs turn to jelly. You close your eyes and try to calm your racing thoughts.

4...

Taehyung. Is he okay? Why didn't he come tonight?

3...

Shit! What was your opening line again? Goddamnit, Y/N, think!

2...

Mom. Would she be proud?

1...

You open your eyes.

The curtain is gone, and a pair of hands pushes you out into the harsh white spotlight. You shield your eyes with your fingers, heart dropping when you look up and find hundreds of eyes staring. Staring right at you.

It's like you're on the edge of a cliff, about to dive into the cool water below. Or fall.

Everything starts to blur. You're a teenager again, stood on the stage at the Crestmont. Panic rises like bile in your throat, and you don't know whether to scream or to run.

Run. Run. Run.

Your mouth opens, then closes. There's an awkward cough from the audience. Words run your mind in circles, but none of them are right, and before they can reach your lips they evaporate on your tongue.

Your panicked eyes roam the sea of seats that zoom in and out of focus. Your knees buckle, and you're sure you are going to pass out right here in front of everyone, but then your eyes meet a familiar pair of brown ones that makes the room stop spinning for a moment.

Jungkook. He's smiling at you, fingers crossed in his lap. There's not a trace of nerves in his gaze as he nods for you to go ahead.

I believe in you.

Just then the door to the theatre flies open and every head in the audience turns towards the darkly clothed figure shuffling through the aisles, mumbling sorry's and excuse me's until he reaches the empty seat beside your boyfriend.

He lets down his hood, shakes free a head of blonde hair that's still damp from the rain. He's out of breath, like he ran here.

Taehyung.

Your brother looks up at you, frozen in place, and his eyes soften. He flashes you a thumbs up and his lips curl around the four words you needed to hear.

You can do this.

And just like that, the panic disappears. The words come flooding back, and your body flies into action, moving across the stage

You forget all about the fear, and the anxiety, and Taehyung and the Crestmont. For now it's just you and the stage, together in harmony.

And you've never felt more alive than when you take your final bow and the crowd roars to life, just like you always imagined it would.

Your jaw hurts from smiling, and before you know it you're crying. Because when you squint against the theatre lights, you see Taehyung and Jungkook in the front row, holding each other and shouting your name.

Y/N! Y/N! Y/N!

"Hey! Be careful!"

The bouquet of congratulatory geraniums cradled in your arms gets crushed between your body and your brother's. He practically tackled you as soon as you entered the dressing room, carried on the cheering shoulders of the other cast and crew members.

"Holy shit." Taehyung holds you at arms length. His eyes are ringed red around the edges. "You were amazing, Y/N."

"You really think so?" Tears start to well and you're so happy to see him that you throw your arms around his waist. "I'm so glad you came, Tae."

"Yeah. You were just like her." He smiles. "Just like mom."

You share a small, sad smile. You've heard those words all your life but it feels different when it comes from Taehyung.

Jungkook pops his head into the room. He catches your eye over Taehyung's shoulder, and flashes you a small smile when he sees you cradling him in your arms.

Talk to him. He mouths, and you're suddenly reminded of why Taehyung came here in the first place.

"Hey listen—"

"Taehyung—"

You both start to talk, bursting into easy laughter when the other stops, seemingly hit with the same idea at the same time.

"You go first." You smile, encouragingly.

"Okay." He pulls you over to the couch. "I'm just...I'm sorry for storming out last night. I shouldn't have come here and expected you to help me—"

"No, stop. I'm sorry." You place a hand over his. "I want to help." You hold an arm out to Jungkook, who crosses the room and slides his hand into yours. "We want to help. We want to save the Crestmont."

Taehyung's eyes bulge. His voice drops to a whisper. "Really?"

"You were right. The Crestmont was mom's place."

You think about how it felt to be out there on the stage, in front of a crowd cheering your name. The excitement, the exhilaration. Your first stage.

The Crestmont is your mom's first stage. It's where she felt those same emotions for the first time. You can't let it be demolished. Not for anything.

"She deserves a legacy. We can't let them tear it down. I don't know how yet, but we'll save it."

"Thank you." A tear streaks his cheek, and his arms pull you and Jungkook into a tight bear hug.

"Thank you. For showing me what really matters, Tae." You whisper. "Let's do this together, okay?"

"For mom."

Taehyung holds out his pinky finger, and you link yours with his.

"For mom."

Where things go wrong.

Six months later.

Every second that passes is marked by a deafening tick from the kitchen clock.

Jungkook was supposed to be home 10 minutes ago. You're sat alone at the dinner table, a carefully presented meal for two spread across your mom's old polka dot table cloth. You even lit candles.

With a sigh you drop your chin into your hand, absentmindedly pushing your spaghetti around the dish while your eyes remain trained to the front door that will open any moment.

To be honest, it's been months since you and Jungkook shared a meal together. He spends most of his nights in his office, hunched over his laptop staring at the blinking cursor on some script he'll never finish. And ever since Jungkook's big script got rejected and he fell into a slump of no work, he had to get a job at a local convenience store all day for some spare cash to get you through the month.

You know he hates it. He hates the rude customers and how he can never shower the smell of grease out of his hair.

You know the bickering that turned into arguing that turned into fighting was just a result of his restless aggravation at being shot down too many times. Of watching his dream slip right through his fingers.

But you haven't exactly been as understanding as you should have been. You're overworked too, with the play, and The Crestmont, and you hate how easy it was to accept sleeping apart and missing dinner dates.

So you texted him to tell him you were making dinner tonight. A cease fire of sorts, or maybe just a feeble attempt at glueing back together the cracks that have appeared between you recently with pasta sauce and meatballs.

But he's late. Again.

And it makes you wonder whether there was any point in trying.

"Y/N?"

A gravelly voice jolts you out of your thoughts. Keys jangle onto the counter, shoes are slipped from feet and thrown into the storage cupboard with the creaky door.

"I'm in here." Your voice sounds meek, but you straighten and muster up a smile. To show at least one of you is making an effort.

Jungkook appears in the doorway, clad in his ugly traffic cone orange uniform. His shoulders are slumped, bangs limply stuck to his forehead. He looks tired, exhausted.

"What's all this?" He nods disinterestedly towards your untouched homemade buffet before heading to the sink to fix himself a glass of water.

"Dinner." You cough. He stiffens. "Remember?"

"Oh." He scratches the back of his neck. His eyes flash with something close to guilt momentarily, but then he smoothes it out. "Yeah. Dinner."

"It's okay, you're not too late. We can just heat this up in the microwave—"

"I already ate, Y/N." The glass in his hand slams onto the counter a little too loudly. "At the store."

You can't hide the way your face drops.

"Please." You whisper. "For me?"

Jungkook stares at you for a few seconds, unblinking, before he exhales shakily and pulls out the seat opposite you.

"What's on the menu?" He asks, hands already grabbing for the bottle of red wine in the middle of the table without so much as a glance at the food you worked so hard to prepare.

"Pasta."

"Right."

An uncomfortable silence settles. Jungkook nibbles at a meatball, and you suddenly feel too sick to the stomach to keep anything down.

You jump when Jungkook's fork clatters to the table. He wipes pasta sauce from the corners of his mouth with a napkin and you're sure you can see a slight tremor in his grasp.

"There's something I need to tell you."

His words ring out into the deafening silence that shrouds the apartment. You train your eyes to the candle in the middle of the table that flickers back and forth and carefully place down your own cutlery.

"Should I be worried?"

"No...I mean, I don't know. Maybe." Jungkook waves his hands around and when his eyes meet yours they're distant. Like the table that separates you spans oceans. "Just promise not to freak out."

"I'm not promising anything. Why are you looking at me like that?"

He shifts and the cheap flat pack dining chairs you bought when you moved in creak like they always do. "I...I got a movie deal. They loved the script I told them I've been working on and they want me to direct it."

Your heart fills with something sweet; pride. Even despite your downs recently this is still incredible news. You knew your boyfriend should be ecstatic...so why is he staring intently at the table cloth like it killed his whole family? "That's awesome, Kook. So what's the problem?"

"I gave them a different script."

Something shifts in the air. You hold your breath.

"Huh?"

"The script. The one you told me to burn before we came to New York. The one about you...your life."

Your blood runs cold and it's like your frozen. Just searching through the never ending blackness behind Jungkook's eyes that fails to falter, no matter how hard you pinch your inner thigh and hope you're about to wake up from a bad dream.

"You wouldn't." Your voice sounds strained and Jungkook doesn't even flinch. "You...I don't believe you."

"I'm sorry." He runs an exasperated hand through his hair. "It's just that they hated the first one and I wanted this deal so bad. It's a once in a lifetime chance Y/N, don't you see?"

The boy staring back at you isn't the sweet and sensitive Jungkook from Ocean City or the strong and passionate man from New York. His words get all mixed up in your head as you repeat them over and over and it's as if you don't even know him at all. All you can feel now is betrayal. And just like that all the anger that has been building inside you for months explodes.

"So my life is just a fucking plot for one of your indie movies, Jungkook?"

"It's always your life isn't it? Never mine." He slams his hands on the table hard enough to make your insides shake. "Ever since we came to New York I've supported you, sat back and watched as you achieved all your dreams. And it hurts, Y/N. To come home from my dead end job, and write another goddamn script that nobody wants to even read."

"I came to New York because of you!" You don't even realise you're crying until you taste the hot salty tears that won't seem to stop. "I came here so you could make it big! You're the one who encouraged me to audition for the play in the first place!"

"God, are you really that naive? Don't you see? I came to New York because I saw how much it meant to you." Jungkook lowers his voice, and there's something in his words that makes your heart twist. Pain. His eyes look watery and you long to reach out for him. Like the skin on skin contact will somehow make all of this okay. "And not once have you ever considered how it might feel for me to sit back in your shadow."

"So that's what this is? Jealousy?" You shake your head and get up from the table and turn to leave, but Jungkook grasps your wrist.

"Why can't you be happy for me?"

"I am happy for you Jungkook. And I always will be." Your heart softens and you're reminded of the boyfriend you know. The boyfriend you love. You want to believe he's in there somewhere so you place your hand over his, and for a second he looks hopeful. "But this was never your story to tell. That's what hurts."

He drops your arm, gaze cold and distant. "Then I guess that's it then."

"What?"

The room starts to spin.

"If you can't accept my decision to go ahead with the project then I guess we can't do this anymore."

"This?" You whisper.

"Us."

"Jungkook...Are you saying we're over?"

He drops his head into his hands and lets out a sigh. "Maybe. I don't know."

"You don't know?" You chuckle but it's hollow, empty. "You don't know if you love me any more?"

Jungkook's face drops and he lurches towards you, but you step back.

"No, shit Y/N I didn't mean it like that!" He looks scared. "I was just angry and it slipped out."

"Don't." His arms reach for you again but the brush of his fingertips feels scalding hot, wrong. "Don't fucking touch me."

"I'm sorry..."

"Don't lie to me Jungkook." Your vision is blurred with tears as you rip open the closet and yank out a suitcase. "You're not sorry. I was never your muse. I was just a stepping stool to the top."

"Where are you going?" Jungkook's crying now too. It comes out as a sob.

"Home." You say as you rip open your shared closet door and start throwing your things into the case. "I'm going home. Where I belong."

"I can't lose you like this. Please." He reaches for your wrist again but you're already half way to the door.

"Too late." You say. "I'm going home. And I'm never coming back."

The familiar scent of burned popcorn and candyfloss soothes you as you creep through the backdoor of the Crestmont. It always had a broken hinge which opened just enough for a body to squeeze through. Seems not a lot has changed since you left Ocean City.

It's dark inside. Silent too, without the popcorn machine running and the movie trailers playing on LED screens. You don't know what you expected. It's gone midnight by the time you get back to Ocean City, but you don't want to go home just yet.

Comfort washes over you as you run your fingers over the gilded edges of the counter, and slip beneath the hatch on auto pilot. It feels strange to be back here without the starched shirt and bow tie you used to hate. You've swapped out worn sneakers for heels that click against the tiles and you've performed on stages for crowd's bigger than the Crestmont's but here and now, you feel like yourself. Even though everything in your life has changed, you're still the same small town girl underneath it all.

Without thinking your legs carry you to the wall of fame. The faces smile up at you, like they're saying welcome back.

"Hey mom," You whisper, stopping momentarily in front of her portrait. You stared at it for so long as a kid that you have every detail committed to memory but seeing it up this close makes your breath hitch. "It's me."

With a sigh you force yourself past into the hall. Your hands tremble as you push open the door to the theatre. It's just how you remember it, sparkling gold and red velvet and mystery. But there's yellow tape strung up across all the seats and a sign has been propped up on the stage, red glaring letters burning a hole in your heart as you read them.

DANGER. DUE FOR DEMOLISHMENT. STAY AWAY.

All you can do is let your legs buckle, back sliding down the wall as you hug your knees to your chest and let out a throaty sob that echoes from the high ceiling.

When did everything go so wrong? You must be cursed. Everything you touch gets destroyed.

"Y/N?"

The lights flicker on, bathing the room in a soft golden glow. You wipe your tears, but that doesn't stop them from coming.

"Over here."

Your voice is small but a few seconds later Taehyung's face appears from behind one of the velvet seats. His eyes soften when he sees you curled up in the corner.

"What are you doing down here?" He clambers over the seat to join you, his long legs folded awkwardly in the small space.

"Having a one man party." You snort and point to your tear stained cheeks.

"Are you okay?" His hand covers yours and the contact makes you jump.

"Yes..." You sniff. He raises a brow. "No. Jungkook broke up with me."

Taehyung chokes. "What?!"

"I mean, we fought and then he...he said we were over." Your heart stabs painfully but you shrug. "So I came here. Didn't know where else to go."

He places an encouraging hand on your shoulder. "Listen...I know I haven't always been there for you when I should've. Hell, you always took care of me and I never even asked how you were doing." He offers a small smile. "But I'm here now. And you can tell me anything. If...if you want to."

A few seconds tick by in silence. You try to form a sentence but everything just comes back to the same three words.

"I miss mom." You blurt.

It echoes through the theatre, and you can practically hear the mermaids and the cupids painted on the ceiling gasp. It surprises you too, the combination of grief and relief that washes over you at finally admitting it.

"I know." Taehyung pulls you into his chest, lips whispering against your hair as you let out a sob and it's like all the sadness and denial is rushing out of you like a faucet, filling the whole room up like a water tank. You're terrified of the moment it gets too full, and you stop being able to breathe. "But you're a lot like her, y'know."

"That's exactly the problem!" Your words come out as a yell and it makes you both jump. "Everyone always says I look like her, I talk like her, I act like her. And I hated it for the longest time because I hated her for leaving us!"

"But without even realising it I became her, Tae. I did what I always said I wouldn't and became selfish. I hurt you, and Jungkook and even the Crestmont."

"That's not true."

"It is! And the worst part is I don't even hate her any more. I need her. To hold me, and tell me it's going to be alright. But she isn't here!"

"What does this have to do with Jungkook?"

"Jungkook wrote a script. A long time ago. About mom. And you and I. And everything that happened." You swallow, Taehyung's eyebrow raises though he doesn't look at all surprised by this information, nor as horrified as you that a record of your bleak shortcomings exists for anyone to read. "He got a movie deal. That's why we fought."

Taehyung hums. "You don't want him to make the movie?"

"It's not that I...I want to be happy for him. But I can't." You choke. "It's too painful. Remembering."

Accepting.

"When I said you were a lot like mom, I meant that you are headstrong." Taehyung pauses. "I felt that way once too. Like I hated mom and the goddamn world for taking her too soon. But in the end, the only person I hated was myself. Like however hard I tried I could never get over her, and all the pain I was pushing down into a dark place kept taunting me through the nightmares." He shivers, and you grip his hand tighter. "But one day I realised I don't have to be afraid of that pain any more. That pain is a part of me. But that doesn't mean I have to let it win."

"So what did you do?"

"I let myself feel it . I faced it. The only way I could let mom go was to stop running away." He pats your shoulder. "You need to set the girl in that script free, so you can move on."

And just like that, you're swimming...up, up, up, until you reach the surface of the water tank and you can take a heaving breath for the first time.

You throw your arms around his neck. It feels weird to hug him like this, but it's nice. "I missed you, Tae. Thank you.”

"I didn't do anything." He says. "The strength is inside you, you just need to find it. Just like you need to stop holding on to the past and let the new you shine for once."

You shake your head. "I need to talk to Jungkook. I don't know why I stormed off like that and..." You trail off. "Wait, how did you know I was here?"

Taehyung grins. "I didn't. I got called in to sort some paperwork and I noticed the back door ajar. Good thing it was you and not some crazy with a baseball bat, right?"

"At this time?" You nod to his still pyjama clad state. "Is it important?"

"Y/N," He laughs lightly. There's excitement shining in his eyes. "Someone just bought the Crestmont."

You scramble to your knees. "What?"

"We're staying open, and I get to keep my job."

And then you're hugging again, and laughing and crying because the Crestmont is going to be okay. You're going to be okay.

"That's incredible, Tae! Who is it? Who bought the Crestmont?"

"I don't know, it was an anonymous transaction. But the guy said he would be here...." He glances at his wrist watch, and as he does, the door creaks open. "Around now."

"Hello? Anyone here?" A familiar voice calls out.

"Jungkook?" Both of your jaws drop as you poke up from behind the seats. Sure enough your heart flutters when you see him, all wind swept and out of breath like he ran here.

"I thought you might be here." He scratches the back of his neck awkwardly. "Can we talk?"

The car ride to the pier was mostly silent. Jungkook borrowed his dad's old beat up truck -- it was that or his old bike with the pegs on the back -- and it still smelled like leather and petrol like it used to.

Everything about Ocean City is the same as you remember it. The pier stands strong atop the rocky sand, sea air deliciously fresh as it fills your lungs. The rolling waves shimmer like gold dust below the wisps of pink clouds that greet the rising sun. The beach is a peaceful view at this time. No tourists, all of yesterdays sandcastles swallowed by the sea spray. It took a couple hours to work through the paperwork so by now it's early morning — 5:30am according to your phone lockscreen.

It's chilly, and your skin is covered with goose bumps even despite Jungkook's suede jacket wrapped loosely around your shoulders. But you don't mind.

You've missed this. You've missed Ocean City.

"No ice cream, I'm afraid." The breeze ruffles Jungkook's hair as he emerges from the fairground and settles beside you with his legs poking through the rails. He flashes you an apologetic smile. "I guess the parlour doesn't open until 9..."

You feel a pang in your chest. Being here is like a serious case of deja vu. Countless hours spent in this very spot, eating vanilla scoops with rainbow sprinkles beside Jungkook used to be so normal. When did you grow so far apart that you're surprised he even remembers?

"Jungkook..." You swallow hard when you meet his eyes, hands longing to reach out and stroke the stream of sunrise on his cheek that makes his dark eyes sparkle. "We...we need to talk. About everything."

There's a moment of silence filled only by the calls of seagulls greeting the morning before he speaks. "I sold the script."

He sounds nervous. Like he's not quite sure what your reaction will be.

You swallow. "And you used the money to buy the Crestmont?"

"Yeah." He says matter of factly, scratching a phantom itch at his nape. "I guess I did."

"Why?" Your voice is small.

"I can't loose you, Y/N." He murmurs. "Just like you can't loose your mom. The Crestmont was her everything. But you are mine. And loosing the Crestmont would be loosing a piece of you, and I couldn't stand that."

The breeze ruffles his hair as he reaches for your hand and links your fingers and squeezes hard. You don't make any move to stop him. You know what it means, so you squeeze back and return the sentiment. I'm sorry.

Before you can stop yourself you lurch forward, arms curling around his neck and it's like coming home. His hands pull you flush to his chest, hearts beating in sync and you know everything is going to be okay now.

"Thank you." You whisper against his nape. A tear rolls down your cheek and soaks into his collar and before you know it you're blubbering. "Thank you so much, Kook."

"You aren't mad?" His voice is muffled but you can hear the quirk of his brow.

"Mad? No..no..." You lean back and wipe your eyes with your sleeve. "But what about the movie? And your dream to be a director and--"

Jungkook grabs your shoulders. His own eyes are glassy as he tucks a piece of hair behind your ear.

"That was never what mattered to me, Y/N. Not even a little bit. There's one reason I went to New York and it's the same reason I came back to Ocean City tonight. You."

"But--"

"No but's. As long as we're together, I'm already living my dream." His lips turn up into a smile, his eyes tracing your face like it's the first time and he can't get enough. "And I never ever want to wake up."

You shift in your spot to face him properly for the first time, and emotion hits you like a tidal wave. It's like all of a sudden you realize how stupid you've been; to fight with the man before you, a man who only knows kindness, about the trivial when the things that mattered the most were always right here, in front of you. The things that mattered most were always in Ocean City.

You brace your hands on his shoulders and lean up so your lips are inches apart. His eyes fall shut naturally, and you can't help but laugh with what you can only describe as one thing: happiness.

"I love you." You whisper against his lips. A warm palm cups your jaw and closes the distance between them and you're almost too lost in the way Jungkook's kiss takes your breath away to hear his response.

"I love you too."

"Sooo..." You bite your lip with a coy smile when Jungkook pulls away, the blush upon his cheeks scarlet beneath the sun which is rapidly rising. "I take it we're no longer broken up?"

"Well duh," He swats you playfully. "You think I'd do all this just to dump your ass?"

"Hey!" You pout. "I dumped your ass."

Jungkook shakes his head with a laugh.

"Besides," He glances out over the horizon nonchalantly and shrugs. "I'm gonna need help if I'm gonna start my own film company and run the Crestmont."

Your jaw drops. "A what now?"

"A film company." He explains. "A different type of film company, right here in Ocean City. For the outcasts like me who have a vision that even the biggest names in New York can't see yet." He smiles, so big and bright it makes your heart leap. "I'm gonna show them, Y/N. And everything I need to do it is right here in Ocean City."

"I know you will. I never doubted you for a second." You take his hand and link your fingers, squeezing hard. "And you bet your ass I'll be front row to watch each and every one, Jeon Jungkook."

Epilogue.

"Just keep your eyes shut!"

"I already know where we're going, so why can't I look?" You laugh, attempting and failing to tug Jungkook's interlocked fingers away from your eyes.

"Shush, it's a surprise! Just roll with it."

A surprise. That's what Jungkook said earlier too when he woke you up at the crack of dawn by throwing a dress at your head and telling you to meet him outside in the truck in 10 minutes or else.

By the time you pulled up into the familiar parking lot of your not-so-mysterious destination, the sky was already aflame with the glow of morning skimming the horizon, and Jungkook practically leapt out of the truck, palms unusually sweaty as he grasped your hand and pulled you towards the path quicker than your feet could carry you.

"What's the hurry, Kook?" You get out between heavy breaths, quads burning as the path gets steeper beneath your feet.

Come to think of it, your boyfriend has been acting strangely all week. Like hiding things behind his back when you walk into a room or talking in hushed whispers on the phone to Taehyung when he thought you were sleeping.

"You'll see." The path levels out and you stop. Jungkook wraps his arms around your waist, chin tucked into the cleft of your shoulder like a perfect puzzle piece. "Okay. Now you can look."

You round the corner, heart racing when your eyes flutter open and your vision is filled with a sea of yellow flowers. Your place.

The meadow is just how you left it, tall grass and sunny blooms dancing beneath the rays of morning sun peeking out from between the clouds. A warmth spreads through your chest and you both laugh when Gureum lets out an excited yelp, before bounding off between the stems playfully.

"I think the little guy wants us to follow him." Jungkook raises a brow and throws you a knowing shrug.

Excitement flutters in your stomach like a butterfly trapped between cupped palms. "How could I refuse?"

Fingers interlinked, you part the sunflowers and jog after the ball off fluff bouncing across the meadow, the breeze cool and forgiving as it ruffles the strands of hair that billow behind you.

Eventually you reach the clearing, and Gureum wags his tail at you proudly when you stoop down to scratch him behind his ears.

The sun reflects in Jungkook's eyes, turning them a warm golden brown. "Turn around."

You spin on your heels with a questioning glance. "Why?" That's when you see it. The spot where everything began. The tree where Jungkook kissed you all those years ago has bloomed with fragrant blossoms, and twinkle lights glow like tiny stars around it's branches. A blanket is laid out in the sun flecked shade beneath it, littered with feather cushions and lanterns and a trail of sunflower petals that begin at your feet.

"You did this?" You take his chin in your palms, face beaming despite the tears that have started to blur your vision. "Oh, Kook."

"Surprise." He smiles knowingly, grabbing you from behind and spinning you round and round until you both land with a soft thump in the middle of the outdoor cushion fort. "You haven't even seen the best part yet." He says with a nod to his right.

It's then that you notice the white sheet that's strung up a couple meters away between the trunks of two trees, Jungkook's vintage projector set up in front of it.

"What is this?" You ask, bewilderment evident in your voice.

"Gureum, would you do the honours?" Jungkook chuckles, extending a finger to point at a remote that your puppy obediently picks up with his teeth and drops into your lap with a wag of his tail.

Jungkook tucks a piece of hair behind your ear and takes a deep breath, like he's been waiting for this moment for a long time. "Go ahead. Press play and find out."

Your head shakes fondly, but your fingers tremble with anticipation as they find the PLAY button. You press it and the projector starts turning, a light flicking on at the top that makes a grainy image appear on the sheet.

The first scene is you. A teenager, dancing through the sunflower field, laughter spilling from your lips. The first time you hung out. And then it switches. You, again. Cleaning up a spill at the Crestmont, unaware of the camera. You. Paint in your hair as Jungkook chases you around the apartment in New York. You. Tears in your eyes as you hold baby Gureum for the first time. You. Asleep on Jungkook's shoulder on the subway, the camera panning to his face which lights up in a big grin, lips mouthing three words.

I love you.

Tears are hot on your cheeks, laughing as you remember the good moments and the bad, the funny and the sad, all immortalized forever through Jungkook's eyes.

The film fades out, and you throw your arms around your boyfriends neck. He chuckles when you tackle him to the ground, throwing a leg over his lap so that you can lean down and capture his lips between yours in a kiss that says all the words you want to say but you don't know how to. I love you too.

"I take it you liked it, then?" Jungkook says coyly, thumb stroking your cheek.

"It was beautiful Jungkook." You place your hand over his. "Now I know why you're always goddamn filming me."

"What can I say? You're my muse."

"Shut up." You punch him playfully. "You're gonna make me blush."

It's Jungkook's cheeks that flush pink. "Actually..." He starts to sit up, fumbling around in his back pocket. "There's something else."

"Oh?"

He clears his throat. "The first time we came to this place I knew I loved you. Back then, I said I wanted to show you what I found most beautiful. And it was you. It's always been you." He takes your hand, grip tight. "When we met we were just kids with big dreams. We might be older now but heck -- I still don't know what I'm doing. All I know is dreams come and go but you never left. You always stayed by my side. Which is why I want to promise you something."

"What, Kook?" You manage to whisper. Your heart is beating a million miles a minute in your ears. Is this what you think it is?

Jungkook swallows hard, eyes boring into yours.

"That I'll go wherever you go. New York, across oceans, up mountains -- you name it. As long as we're together, everything will be okay. So that's why I wanted to ask..." His fingers tremble as he produces a tiny black box, flicking it open to reveal a ring that sparkles see through in the sun. "Y/N, will you marry me?"

"Oh Jungkook," You throw your arms around his neck, overcome with emotion now as you capture his lips with your own. "Of course I'll marry you. You didn't even have to ask."

He lets out a sigh of relief, and then he's spinning you around in circles until you're both dizzy with love and belly laughter.

"I love you." He whispers, eyes shiny. His hand gently grasps your wrist as he slides the ring onto your finger.

You've heard him say it a hundred times before, but this time it's different. This time it's forever. Your heart flutters.

"I love you too, Kook."

Where there are new beginnings

Ocean City is the same as it always was.

You wake up each morning to the distant crash or waves, and you fall asleep each night to the tinkling fairground music that makes your heart sing. Tourists come and go, flooding the casinos and eating churros on the beach.

The Crestmont is doing better than ever. Once Taehyung took over as owner, the theatre became the heart of the city, attracting visitors from near and far to see the renowned plays directed by none other than Jeon Jungkook, the most sought after playwright and filmographer in all of the East Coast.

And then there's you. Ever since you starred in one of Jungkook's plays, about a girl from a seaside city moving to New York with big dreams, there's been no shortage of movie deals and acting opportunities thrown your way.

But in the end, you always find yourself coming back to Ocean City.

Tonight the Crestmont reopens for business after some much needed renovations. Taehyung is throwing a party, and there will be plenty of big Hollywood faces attending to see the brand new theatre and the updated __.

But one thing will always remain the same. The picture of your mom hung in the gallery. Her big smile is the heart of the Crestmont, greeting each and every visitor with pride.

And in the empty frame at the end of the wall of fame, there's a new picture.

You. Smiling, with your hair over one shoulder, just how you imagined. And beside you is Jungkook, with his arm wrapped around your waist and Taehyung holding Gureum and making a silly peace sign behind your head.

And you wouldn't have it any other way.

Okay so hi if you’re still here!! I decided to put this at the end because I didn’t wanna spoil the ending so please send love to @brekkiejeon​ !! They sent me the request for the ending of this fic all the way back in January and i’m trash and took like 7 months to finish writing it so i hope you enjoyed it even so lovely !!! <3 thank you for the request and sorry for the wait, this one really got me creative lol! 

Also I’d like to dedicate the smut in this fic to @atastefulwonderland​ because I know you love some good ole JK loving!! Hehe, ily~~

Also lemme know if this was bad because I never usually give OC so much backstory because I want it to be as relatable to the reader as poss obvi but these characters wrote themselves lmao like i’m just the writer i had no control okay???? I just do what these mfkers say. LOL.

[bloodorangesoup]

Work Song | B.B.

Request: Have you ever heard work song by hozier? It gives me such bucky vibes 🥺 like imagine him waking up from a nightmare & singing it to calm him down

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Word Count: 2.05k (this was supposed to be a drabble but I got carried away lol)

Warnings: Slight angst, fluff, bad singing (unless you can actually sing), Bucky being a big softy

My Masterlist

Notes: Anon you need to name yourself cause you obviously have good taste in music and I kinda want some moots on here. This song is so perfect for Bucky. I truly appreciate the suggestion, it gives me inspiration of what to write while procrastinating on works in progress <3

You were awoken when the sheets and comforter were yanked off of you, shocking you awake with the chill of the night air. You squinted your eyes open only to be faced with Bucky’s back as he was sat up in bed. You could see by the rhythmic curling of his spine that he was breathing fast and heavy, prompting you to sit up with him.

“Baby,” you groaned as you stretched your back and faced him, “you alright?”

His eyes stared forward, expressionless, until he snapped out of it and looked at you with a worried face. It was almost as if Bucky hadn’t even noticed you had sat up until he heard your voice. You wanted to kiss in between his eyebrows to smooth the lines that the furrow of them had formed. You leaned towards him and laid your hand on his back, feeling the expansion and deflation of his breathing, it had calmed a bit but you could feel the still rapid beating of his heart. He opened his mouth for a second, hesitating before releasing a breath and answering.

“Yeah, yeah. I’m okay. Sorry I woke you up. There's still a couple hours left before you have to get up, lay back down.” He said, motioning with his head towards your pillow. You simply shook your head and dragged your hand from his back up to his neck and around to his cheek. He leaned his head into your cupped palm, closing his eyes at the comfort your touch gave him.

“Can we cuddle then?” You asked, more for him than you. It was an unspoken declaration in the air of “you’re a terrible liar,” but by now in your relationship, Bucky knew that if he wanted to talk about his nightmares, you were always there and ready to listen. If he didn’t want to talk then you could at least try to get him back to sleep or calm his nerves.

He answered you with a nod. You grabbed his pillow and stacked it on top of your own, giving you a cushion to comfortably lay down with your back slightly elevated. He understood what to do and without hesitation crawled over to you and wrapped his arms around your torso, laying halfway on top of you and resting his cheek on the top of your breast, right over your heart. Both your bodies shifted a few times until they found the perfect interlock with each other, sinking down into the bed.

“Do you remember that song I showed you the other day, the one you said you really liked?” You didn’t know where you were trying to go with this conversation, but you figured that getting him sleepy again would be hard, so talking about whatever came to your head might help put him down. Bucky could feel the vibrations of your voice all throughout your chest. He wished in that moment that the two of you could stay like this forever, that he could feel your sweet voice like this for the rest of his life.

“The “take me to church” one?”

“Yeah, that one. The dude who sings that has another song I really love, it makes me think of you whenever I hear it.”

“What’s it called?” He mumbled weakly. You gave him a squeeze and continued.

“Work Song.”

“Hmm,” Bucky hummed against your chest, waiting a moment before speaking, “could you sing it for me, doll?”

“If you want, but I can’t promise it’ll sound pretty,” you answered with a breathy chuckle. You wanted to comfort Bucky, but you definitely weren’t a singer. It was difficult enough to be in tune with songs, you weren’t sure you could even manage with half his body resting on you.

“It doesn’t have to sound pretty, if you sing it it’ll be perfect. Please?”

It took Bucky a long time to be okay with asking for things and accepting that receiving favors didn’t equate to weakness. You knew that him asking you to do this for him was hard and you weren’t going to let him down.

“Alright.” You cleared your throat and breathed in before exhaling quickly, cutting the words out of your mouth as your brain tried to think of how the song goes.

“Well, it starts with a low piano note and this soft clap, and there's a harmony that goes ‘hmmm, hmm mmm’ and then another clap and ‘hmm mmm’,” you explained, emphasizing every clap with a light tap if your hand on his back. You looked down at him and lifted your other hand, weaving yo fingers through his hair to gently move back and forth over his scalp. You looked back up to the ceiling with your eyes open, imagining how the stars would look if the roof was gone.

“And that part goes on for a bit…” you said into the silence of the room. As you explained, Bucky had shifted his head to rest the underside of his chin flush against your chest and looked up at you. Due to the way your face looked up he couldn’t see it completely, but he could see how the light of the moon pouring into the room cast a glow across your cheekbones and jaw. He watched as you fumbled through the intro, trying to explain to him how the different sounds come together, and he swore you had never looked more beautiful.

He drank in the way the hums of the song rattled under his chin, how you would pause for a few moments trying to think of what came next in the song. He felt your heartbeat against his throat and the rise and fall of your chest with every breath you would take before letting out another hum. He was right, you could be singing any song and it would be perfect.

“And then he starts singing, he goes,” you took in a breath before singing.

“‘Boys, workin' on empty

Is that the kinda way to face the burning heat?

I just think about my baby

I'm so full of love I could barely eat’

“‘There's nothin' sweeter than my baby

I'd never want once from the cherry tree

'Cause my baby's sweet as can be

She give me toothaches just from kissin' me’.”

He noted how the corners of your mouth tilted upward at that last line. You weren’t singing it exactly as the song went, the melody was a bit off and the pitch was much lower than it was supposed to be, but Bucky felt like every word you sang floated out into the world, carrying its refreshing life and coolness into his soul.

“And then there's this really deep bass note that hits and then the chorus goes,

“‘When, my, time comes around

Lay me gently in the cold dark earth

No grave can hold my body down

I'll crawl home to her’.”

Bucky thought of how he always seemed to crawl back to you. For once, he didn’t feel guilty for his presence in your life. He relished in the feeling of having you under him, in the knowledge that of all the people in the world, you would let him crawl home to you. If he had to crawl to someone, he would thank any and all higher powers that it was you.

“And then the song gets lighters and the hums come back,” you mumbled.

“‘Boys, when my baby found me

I was three days on a drunken sin

I woke with her walls around me

Nothin' in her room but an empty crib’

“‘And I was burning up a fever

I didn't care much how long I lived

But I swear, I thought I dreamed her

She never asked me once about the wrong I did’.”

Memories swirled around in Bucky’s head of all the times he felt like ending it all. He knew he was perfectly capable of doing it, but there was always a stubborn sliver of hope splintered in his head that prevented him from going through with anything. He didn’t like to think back to those times, but hearing the words leave your lips made it clear to him that you were the sliver of hope, some force of the universe had kept him around long enough to reach you and hold on. He closed his eyes and listened as you gently worked through the chorus twice more.

“‘My babe would never fret none

About what my hands and my body done

If the Lord don't forgive me

I'd still have my baby and my babe would have me’.”

Bucky’s brows furrowed as he thought of how unconditionally you cared for him. You weren’t blind to the troubles that came with loving someone like him, with accepting what he did and offering him sanctuary from himself. He didn’t know if he would ever be sure of the idea that he deserved love, but he was okay with being selfish if it meant having you by his side.

“‘When I was kissin' on my baby

And she'd put her love down, soft and sweet

In the low lamp light, I was free

Heaven and hell were words to me’.”

Tears had started to well in Bucky’s eyes. He looked up once again at your face, delicately bathed in moonlight, and thought of how he looked in the light, how you both looked together in the light. If you looked so beautiful and lovely, maybe he could too. He didn't feel exposed or ugly, he felt safe, he felt free. He was overwhelmed with emotion. His heart was pounding and he was choked up, he had never felt as completely and dramatically in love with you as he did in that moment.

You wrapped up the song, carrying it out with the same hums and claps that brought it in. Looking down, you saw Bucky’s face buried in the space between your breasts and could hear a sharp intake of breath, indicating that he was crying. You ran your hand that had been tapping his back up and down his spine. You took your hand from his hair and used it to push his disheveled hair out of his eyes and off his forehead, causing him to look up at you.

To Bucky, you looked like an angel. You both laid in silence, looking into each other's eyes, while Bucky simply hugged you closer and let his tears fall freely. You leaned down and placed a few gentle kisses on his forehead. He finally settled his breathing and sniffled a few times before speaking, he was ready to talk.

“I’ve killed enough people,” he sniffled before continuing, his voice croaky, “I’ve killed enough people to give me nightmares for the rest of my life.” He sighed and closed his eyes, feeling too shameful to keep looking at you.

You sank down lower in the sheets and tightened your hold on him, bringing his face and body up and closer to you.

“I’m so sorry, Buck. I wish there was more I could do.” You finally let go of the few tears building in your eyes, letting them roll down your cheeks to the corner of your lips.

“You’re here. You love me. That’s all I need,” he let out with a sob. You nodded your head and tugged on his body, signaling to him to come up.

He shifted himself higher in the bed, his face coming parallel to yours. You snaked your hand around his neck and craned him to look into your eyes. You observed the glassiness of them and how it accentuated the bright blueness within them. You thought of how, even when he was sobbing, he looked more beautiful than ever.

“I love you so much, y/n” he whispered with shaky breaths.

“I love you too, Buck, more than anything.”

You pulled him completely into you, your swollen lips gliding against one another, mixing your salty tears. You brought your hands to the sides of his face, rubbing your thumbs over his cheekbones, feeling how beautiful he was even with your eyes closed. You both pulled back slowly, only far enough to rest your foreheads together.

“I love you.”

[marvelous-imagines]

Hi may I request miguel celebrating his s/os birthday

This one sounds adorable, here you go pal🥺💕💕

Miguel diaz x reader

Warnings: fluff, that's it.

Waiting with your cell phone in hand, you await patiently, expecting it to ring any moment. The moons light filling your room up in a blue hue, your mind drifting off to why your boyfriend hasn't called you yet like he promised. For the last few days he's been acting weird, avoiding you, losing focus when you try and hold conversation with him. You'd be lying if you said it wasn't concerning, it wasn't like miggy to downright ignore you.

You sigh and held the phone up, 12am...he said he'd call you at 10...and here you lay waiting for a call that's never coming apparently. You huff out a deep breath and toss the phone aside and roll over, angry at your boyfriends absence for the last few days. What made this all even worse is the fact it was officially your birthday today. But who cares?

"he's been ignoring me for a few days, always avoiding me and stuff... You don't think he hates me or something I did do you? Oh God what if I done something to make him mad at me?" your mind drifts off to the worst possibilities, taking you down a dark hole of scenarios where Miguel hates you. You feel a lump form in your throat as a painful grip hugs your heart.

The next morning you woke up with a little groan, the annoying sound of your alarm clock causing you to smack it, finally making it shut up. You sat up in bed and stretch, yawning a little as you grabbed your phone. Once you opened it you saw that you had a few texts from your friend aisha and opened them, smiling when you saw a happy birthday message with her choice of heart emojis. You typed out a reply and stand up, feeling disappointed that Miguel hasn't texted you yet.

You got ready for the day and walked to school, in hopes you could finally see your boyfriend. But a history class and dreadful math class later he still wasn't seen. Which was odd. So when science rolled around and you was partnered up with aisha you started your questioning.

"have you seen miggy around?" you questioned quietly so the teacher wouldn't hear you speaking. Aisha shrugs, a hint of a smirk on her face before she wipes it off.

"no, I haven't really heard from him either" she replied, handing you some sort of blue substance in a bottle. You take it and sigh.

"he doesn't hate you y/n, he loves you. Very much so actually" aisha giggles, you sigh deeply and lose all focus on the science lesson.

"then why hasn't he talked to me?" you murmur, wondering what you could have possibly done to make him distant, especially on your birthday.

"maybe he's busy y/n, like helping sensei Lawrence fix the few holes in the wall?" she reassures you, and you nod a little. Perhaps she was right, miggy was always kind and tried helping people out no matter what. You decided to stop thinking about it to hard and try focusing on school.

The walk home was full of aisha telling you about something you wasn't listening to - sadly - as you couldn't help your mind from wandering off onto the topic of where your boyfriend was. Once aisha dropped you off you gave her a wave as she wished you happy birthday for the hundredth time. You sigh with a growing disappointment as you walked through your door, your parents gone somewhere as usual.

"great... Alone on my birthday... Awesome" you grumbled while slinging your backpack down on the sofa and walk into the kitchen. Once you walked through the threshold you froze in your spot as you was showered in silly string.

"happy birthday!" Miguel's familiar voice drifts through the silent house like a beautiful melody. You let out a breathy laugh and look up at him, taking in how his beautiful coffee colored eye's sparkle with joy, a wide smile on his face as he emptied the can of silly string on you. The bright blue stuff stuck in your hair and on your shoulders. You giggle at him and embrace him in a tight hug.

"I'm sorry I've been so distant lately but I had to kinda avoid you so I could plan a really special day just for you - and I'm also sorry I got the silly string in your hair..." he ranted, pulling back to look at you, dark brown eyes instantly locked with your y/e/c eye's.

"miggy....this is so sweet, I love it! I love you" you say while looking around, balloons everywhere in your kitchen, a cake on the counter. You could tell he made it himself by the frosting that decorated your counter.

"I love you too y/n, which is why we are staying here all day to do all the things I've planned" he bumbs his nose against yours adorably, a giggle emitting from you while he takes both your hands and leads you to the counter, walking backwards as he does so.

"what exactly do you have planned?" you questioned with a lifted brow and little grin. He mirrors your grin as he leaned his back against the counter and pulls you closer to him.

"do you remember that little survey I made you do a few weeks back?" he questioned while dropping your hands so his can rest on your waist.

"the one on what I'd do if I had the whole day to myself?" you ask him which brings a mischievous smirk to his lips.

"that's the one"

"you surveyed me for my own birthday surprise?" you laugh, placing a hand on his chest. He chuckles and nods.

"to start the day off, we are going to eat this cake I made!" he turns around and gestures towards the homemade cake, "I used a recipe from my grandma's cookbook, it took me a couple of times to get it right" he said sheepishly, you couldn't help but find it adorable. You placed a hand on his neck and press a short kiss to his lips, his eye's fluttering shut as he melts into it.

You pulled back with a smile. "it's absolutely perfect miggy, I love it" you say while letting your hand fall from his neck and look at the cake. Miguel gets a knife and cuts the cake, giving you a piece before he got his own. And much to his surprise it was actually good.

After you both ate cake you blasted music and danced, after that you had miggy teach you basic stuff in karate which made him more excited then you expected. After that, it was getting late so you both watched all your favorite movies. And whenever you had finished that you decided to star gaze. Your was currently laid on your back while miggy was beside you, both of you watching the stars twinkle in the night sky.

"today was the best day of my life Miguel" you sigh dreamily while turning your head to look at him, finding him already staring at you.

"I'm glad knowing that you had the best day ever" he said with a little grin. Dark eye's locked on yours. "I love you..."

"I love you too miggy..." you muttered while rolling over on your side to place a kiss on his soft lips, you put all the love you felt for him into, wordlessly showing him how much you deeply loved and appreciated him. And he received it happily, his heart filled with so much love....

A/n: here is another slowly written imagine! The first one for miggy! I hope you like it dude, I sacrificed my sleep for it lol. Also some requests will take a while to be posted because I'm doing some traveling that will postpone my writing (sorry) but I'll try and get them done before then

[draganasimpsforjeff]

Hello! May I please have a creepypasta romantic match-up with some nsfw if your comfortable with it? Tysm in advance and I'm in love with your writing, like how is it so good?! Anyways I hope you have a great day/night and tysm once again!

Zodiac sign: Leo sun, Aries moon, Leo rising

Personality Type: ENTP

Pronouns: She/her

Sexuality: Straight (For now might be bi but i'm going with straight)

I'm 5'4 and I have a very tiny body frame so i'm extremely petite and pretty small. I'm not very curvy and I literally have the body of a cereal box...lol but its fine because I have nice hips and thighs. I have thick brown hair that goes down to my back and it gets tangled pretty easily but its kinda fluffy. I have brown eyes and tiny freckles all over my face and body. I also have a very strong grunge style, like Flannels, band t-shirts, combat boots, leather jackets etc. But i'd also always enjoy a nice oversized sweatshirt or hoodie with a pair of skinny, ripped jeans and some converses or something along those lines.

For my personality.....this is where things get interesting. At first people find me very intimidating due to my resting bitch face and cold exterior but I promise i'm not like that ALL the time. When you get to know me, i'm goofy and about everything that comes out of my mouth is sarcasm or some dry humored joke. I'm also that one friend in a group where they literally will do the stupidest shit ever like for an example one time it was super dark outside and my other friend was there, while I was trying to climb a tree and I failed and fell out of the tree, and landed on my back. I got straight up after that somehow it didn't hurt.....like at all? But yeah i'm super reckless and sometimes people have to save me from myself if you get what I mean. I also have a very strong "I don't give a fuck" attitude and I will not hesitate to stick up for myself or my friends....like i'm the type of person where if someone glares at me, i'll glare right back.

I have bad anxiety and I can be very self destructive. This is where my feisty, stubborn, hardheaded side comes in. If I want something then i'll fight for it even if it hurts me and i'll get into a bad cycle of putting myself down and trying to do better even if I did great the first time but I always push myself too far and other people have to stop me because I usually can't see it when its happening. I also cover my emotions up and I have a lot of trouble talking about whats bothering me or what problems i'm having emotionally so I put up a wall and I act tough, or happy and sometimes i'll be the exact opposite but I try to hide it.

Weird things about me: I've grown up in the south all my life so sometimes when I talk a few words they'll come out sounding WAYYY more country and southern then I wanted, I don't have an accent but sometimes my words just come out that way. I also love the smell of cigarette smoke....let me explain. When I was a kid my parents smoked a lot and I was used to smelling it and now it reminds me of home and is sort of comforting. Sometimes in the middle of the night you can find me just staring at a wall or something because I can't go to sleep.....I have trouble sleeping.....

Things I like: I love swimming (I was on a swim team for about 9 years), I love horror movies, I like rain and the sounds of thunderstorms because its calming to me, I also love the smell of rain, I like cloudy days, cooking, listening to 80's and 90's rock but mainly 90's because 90's is the best, My favorite bands are Bush, Audioslave, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Linkoln Park, Pearl jam but i'm pretty open to anything.

Things I dislike: Spiders.......I will scream if I see a spider.

So for the nsfw part (Feel free to ignore this if you don't want to write for it!)....I'm very shy and i'd like it if someone guided me. But i'm 100% a Bottom and I love praise and maybe a tiny bit of degradation. I also have a big ownership kink like if someone tells me that i'm their's....then I might die. I'm also a sucker for marking like lovebites and hickies? Yes please. But please tease me and edge me because I prefer not having control so someone else being in control is just...lovely. Also pet names! Like Sunshine, Babygirl, Doll....AHHhh I might melt.

-From 🎇Sparkle Anon🎇

Ah thank you so much! LOL I feel like we would be good friends bc of so much similarities, hope.you like this!

But anyways I match you up with-

🥁🥁🥁

Hoodie/Brian

SFW

This man ain't gonna lie you sometimes remind him a female version of his best friend Tim/ Masky but like in a good way (bc of your style and music choice)

Your foolishness is the ultimate thing he loves about you

He is scared to leave you by yourself sometimes since you are a klutz

But luckily he knows just enough about first aid so if you have a deep enough cut or something to that measure he's got you 😉😊

At first he would be scared to initiate conversation bc of your very beautiful but deadly looking "resting bitch face"

But once you started talking to him more he would feel a lot more comfortable coming around and just knew that's your cover around new people

Definitely teases you about your height 🤭 (he's 5'11 in my hc)

Is that type of cliche dude to rest his arm on you or would purchase a step ladder for you

Something could be an inch off your reach and he'll feel the need to tease you about it (all in good fun tho)

Hunny, he definitely gets the whole having difficulties talking about whats bothering as he does it too, he'll just try to figure out other ways to make you express what you're feeling. (Through healthy ways ofc)

He has anxiety too so yeah babe he gets it 😌

Sorry love but he kind of likes spiders soooo he would be that asshole that would pick one up and put it in your hair or shoulder without you noticing. (And now I have to do this don't kill me)

NSFW

Oooo darling ♥

He would love to mark you up

He love to be called his? Good cuz he was going to call you that either way even if you were friends or friends with benefits

What you got between your legs belongs to him

He loves how small you are since he's kind of toned and tall and you're like this little petite thing he can just throw around 😊

He understands if you're shy or don't feel comfortable being in control, he'll take over

Will say though, he'll probably suggest taking some sort of drug or anything to influence your senses so you feel more comfortable in your skin at some point or another

Especially since it's a very rare thing for him to see but he won't push too much

WILL 👏 FUCKING 👏 CALL 👏 YOU 👏 PET NAMES IN FRONT OF ANYONE

He doesn't care who hears or sees it since he would love to be caught ngl.

"I don't know why you're all dressed, doll, those clothes are gonna be in shreds and uses as gags or restraints"

Will take pics of you with his phone and has no shame having a very naked you in some angle displayed as his lock screen

Cockwarms you a lot especially when he's cleaning his guns

You just seem him there all busy taking care of something else and not you while his big ol dick stretches you

🥴🥴🥴 this man would choose to be suffocated between your thighs babe

Often squeezes them and ohohoh if you wear skirts or something showing them be prepared to be teased anywhere anytime

Hell even do it in front of others fuuuck he'd even eat you out while others are in the room.

"You're so tasty babygirl, I could eat you out all day and night"

[ilovefandoms102]

Do Re Mi

Pairing: JJ Maybank x Reader

Summary: After breaking things off with Kelce, he wants you back after finding out you’ve been hanging out more with JJ....

Taglist:

@jeyramarie @drewswannabegirl @teamnick @jiaraendgame @agirlwholovescoffee @outerbongs @jaxandcomet @velyssaraptor @baby-pogue @they-write-once-in-a-blue-moon @must-be-a-weasley-92 @kaitieskidmore1 @ma10427 @ifilwtmfc @lasnaro @justcallmesams @judayyyw @lonely-kermit @gviosca @iamaunicorn4704 @jellyfishbeansontoast @fernweh-fangirl @runway-to-my-aid @eb15​ @hurricane-abigail​ @tangledinsparkles​ 

Note: This is for the lovely @maybebanks , thank you for giving me an amazing request so that I could use this gif(look at those biceps)! I hope this was ok! As always let me know what you guys think, and don’t forget to check out my new Rudy Pankow series here! 

PSA IF YOU ARE TRIGGERED BY ABUSE DO NOT READ THIS!

=====================================

What Kelce and I had from the beginning was toxic...

I was too blind to see how manipulative and abusive he was. The constant threats of leaving me, cheating on me, and of course me begging him not to. I fell into his trap. He would fill my head with negative thoughts, doing anything and everything to make me feel horrid about myself. All of my friends could notice the change in me, saying how I looked mentally drained all the time. 

Well, they weren’t wrong.....

======================================

“You’re such a fucking slut! Hanging out with those Pogues?! Really y/n?!” he shouted.

“They’re my friends! I don’t give a shit about your stupid rivalry against them K, they are good people!” I shouted back, running a hand through my hair. 

“Trash derseves to hang out with a slut like you then. You’ll fit right in.” he snarled.

“I’m so done with your bullshit Kelce! Fuck you!” I screamed, storming out of his house. 

“Don’t you dare walk away from me!” he yelled, coming after me. 

“I can’t take this anymore, I’ve been done for a long time now! You and your constant mental and physical abuse, I will not let you hurt me anymore!” I screeched, slamming my car door shut.

He banged on my window, demanding I open the door. He pulled as hard as he could on my door handle, no doubt almost breaking it. I sped off, going to the only place I knew I could find comfort.

=====================================

I pulled into the chateau, tears still streaming down my face. A sob wretched from my chest, my head falling to the steering wheel as I cried. It was pouring the rain as I got out of my car, slowly treading to the front door. My chest felt like it was caving in from how hard I was sobbing, my whole body convulsing inwards. The door opened and I saw a familiar looking blonde coming on the porch. His eyes widened, taking off to me. I ran into his arms, colliding with him.

“What happened? Are you hurt?” JJ asked, pulling back to look at my face.

“I couldn’t take him anymore JJ, I had to leave.” I sobbed, clinging on to his shirt. He pulled my head back to his chest, leaning his head on top of mine. 

“I won’t let him hurt you ever again y/n, you’re safe now.” he said softly, his fingers combing through my soaked hair. 

“I’m so sorry J,” I blubbered.

“What are you sorry for?” he chuckled.

“That they hurt you, and the others. They always hurt you.” I cried, thinking back to the times I had seen Kelce and the others beat JJ to a pulp.

“It’s nothing I can’t handle sweetheart, I know you did everything you could.” he whispered, kissing my hair. 

“I should have done more...I should have left a long time ago.” I mumbled.

“Hey why don’t you guys come in before you get sick!” Pope yelled, both of us laughing. 

JJ led me inside, John B. bringing both of us towels to dry off. I left my shoes on the porch, starting to shiver from the slight chill in the air. I was glad I had left some of my stuff here so I could change into some comfier clothes. John B. was kind enough to let me take a warm shower, even threw my clothes in his beat up washing machine. The boys hovered over me in their protective fashion. JJ made me a sandwich, arguing with Pope about what goes on the bread first, and John B. got me every blanket he owned as I sat on the pull out bed. 

“The cheese is supposed to go on the bread first JJ.” Pope insisted, hovering over JJ’s shoulder.

“Dude can you please just let me make her the fucking sandwich for god’s sake!” JJ shouted, chuckling as he slapped it together and threw it on a plate.

JJ brought me my favorite sandwich with the chips I left here, and of course a beer. I smiled widely at my best friend. He sat in front of me while the other boys sat on the opposite sides. 

“What happened?” JJ demanded, Pope and John B. tuning in. 

“We were just fighting, I honestly don’t even remember how it started...Then we got to talking about how he doesn’t like me hanging out with you guys, and I told him that you all were my friends and that I didn’t care what he said. He said some other mean stuff and then I just left.” I recalled, my eyes staying down as I ate.

“What mean stuff?” JJ inquired, raising a brow. I looked up at him, then to JB and Pope.

“Pope, let’s go get Kie and Sarah. I think y/n needs some girl talk.” John B. said, patting my shoulder.

“What did he say?” JJ demanded, his hard eyes staring intently.

“He...he called me a slut and said that I would fit in with you all since Pogues are trash.” I croaked, feeling the tears begin to rise again. 

JJ let out an angry huff, throwing his hat off. 

“I should kill that motherfucker.” he griped.

“He’s not worth it J. I wish I would have learned that a long time ago.” I sighed, setting my finished food to the side with my beer. 

JJ came beside me, his arm falling around my waist. I’d be lying if I said it didn’t cause my heart to flutter. Since things with Kelce and I started declining, I had began to develop feelings for JJ. Both of us coming from similar home lives made our bond stronger. When I started dating Kelce, I thought I’d finally get away from the bad things that haunted me from my home. Turns out I ran into another abusive situation, but I always had JJ. He was my constant light that I needed when things went dark. I knew I could trust him with my life.

“You’re my best friend y/n, and I’ll be dammed if I ever let that fucker hurt you again. If you even think about going back to him I will drag your ass back here and chain you to this couch, you hear me?” he affirmed, his blue eyes burning with rage.

“Trust me that won’t happen, I’m done with him. You’re the best J.” I said softly, hugging him.

JJ squeezed me tight to him, silent tears flowing down my face again. I was so lucky to have friends like the Pogues, all of them had hearts of gold. I pulled back, smiling as I wiped some of my tears. JJ’s thumb came up to my other eye, gently wiping some away as well. We stared into each other’s eyes for a long time, a sudden change in the air. Both of us unconsciously moving our heads closer together. 

Then the door slammed open, causing us to jump apart from each other. 

“We brought movies!” Kie said cheerfully.

“And chocolate!” Sarah exclaimed.

“Yeah, too much chocolate.” John B. groaned as he and Pope lugged in some grocery bags.

I got up to hug my two girl best friends, all of us grouping together. They rubbed my back as I again started to cry, this time very loudly. Then I felt even more surrounded as the guys joined in our group hug. 

We baked, and watched comedy movies all night. I laughed until my belly hurt, the pure joy of being with my friends making my sadness go away even if it only would be for a moment. The sun was beginning to rise as we all fell asleep out in the living room. John B. and Sarah sharing a small air mattress that Sarah had brought, Pope got up to crash on the outside couch, Kie fell asleep in the floor, and JJ and I shared the pull out couch. 

=========================================

After that night, JJ and I had become a lot closer. We began spending a lot more time together, even doing odd jobs together. Weeks had gone by and people of The Cut and in Figure Eight began discovering that where JJ was I would be found and vice versa. Word got to Kelce that I looked cozy with JJ, and he was not happy. 

I was home alone, my dad was with JJ’s at Barry’s. A loud banging heard on my door. I crept to it, peeking out of the window to see Kelce. I dreaded opening the door, debating on just letting him sit out there. 

“Y/N! Open the fucking door right now!” he barked, his fist coming down on the door again. I waited another second, seeing if maybe he would go away. He barged in, my eyes wide at how angry he looked.

“Kelce,” I gasped.

“Who the fuck do you think you are embarrassing me by being seen with Maybank!” he sneered, coming closer to me. I backed away, cutting around my house so I couldn’t be cornered. 

“It’s none of your business who I’m with Kelce, we aren’t dating anymore!” I shouted.

“We had a fight y/n, we’re not over until I say we are.” he claimed, snatching my wrist. I tried to wretch my hand away, but he was too strong. 

“I told you I was done! I don’t want to be with you ever again!” I screeched. I felt pain on the side of my cheek as Kelce slapped me, falling to the ground. 

“You listen to me you little bitch. I don’t ever want you hanging with that piece of trash ever again, is that clear?” he hissed, using his hold on my wrist to yank me up.

“Fuck you,” I spat. 

In the next second, I was being pinned against the wall. Kelce’s hand grabbing my throat as he slammed me into the hard wood. He squeezed my pulse point, my breathing halted. I scratched at his hand as he lifted me higher, my air supply being cut off even more. My vision started to become hazy, black spots appearing in my eyes. I kicked my legs as hard as I could until they connected with something. Kelce dropped me to the ground, air whooshing back into my lungs. He looked at me with hard, angry eyes. As if I was the one in the wrong.

“This isn’t over,” he sneered, storming out of my house.

I coughed and gagged until I finally started to breathe normally again. I crawled to my room, dragging myself on to my bed. I curled up in my covers and sobbed. I wished so hard that I had never been stupid enough to date a Kook. I realized now that I was desperate to get away from my dad, snatching any opportunity to get out of this hellhole. I cried myself to sleep that night, not even harvesting enough energy to call JJ. He was all I wanted right now, but I couldn’t move....everything hurt.

===================================

The next day, I got a text from JJ saying everyone wanted to hang out. I groaned, hauling myself out of bed. My eyes almost bulged out of my head at the sight of the deep bruises on my neck. How was I supposed to keep this from them? From JJ? I couldn’t tell them, JJ more than likely would end up in real jail this time if he went after Kelce. 

I did my best to cover it up, even opting for one of JJ’s hoodies I stole that covered more of my neck. My cheek thankfully didn’t look as bad and I was able to cover it completely. I heard JJ’s bike pull up, nerves creeping in my chest as I went outside. He smiled when he saw me, and it was like all my worries melted away. He opened his arms when I got closer, pulling me into a hug. I inhaled his scent...smoke, weed, and an earthy tone that was just JJ. His scent calmed my raging nerves. I jumped on the back of his bike, holding on to him as we sped off to the chateau.

==================================

I was doing a good job of hiding until I stupidly pulled my hair to one side.

“What’s on your neck?” Pope asked, inspecting me as I flinched from his prodding fingers. 

“Nothing,” I mumbled, flipping my hair back over. JJ’s eyes narrowed at me, my heart sinking. 

“Ooohh, did you get some last night y/n?” Kie raised her brows suggestively. 

“No,” I scoffed, my cheeks reddening. 

“You so did! Spill!” Sarah squealed. 

“Yeah y/n, spill.” JJ clipped, his arms crossing his chest. 

“I didn’t get any guys, swear.” I insisted, my eyes mainly on JJ. He nodded, but he didn’t look like he believed me.

“Then what is that?” John B. asked, joining in on the interrogation. 

“I tripped getting out of the shower last night,” I said, unconvincingly by the accusing look JJ was still giving me. He stormed back into the chateau, of couse I followed after him.

“JJ please, I-” I started.

“No, you-....I thought-I, I thought we had something building here. Guess I was wrong, I mean how could I ever think you would go from a Kook to me. I feel so stupid!” he ranted, throwing his hat on the ground. He sat on the couch, elbows going to his knees. 

“JJ please believe me, it’s not what you think!” I pleaded.

“Then what is it y/n! Because I know damn well that ain’t from falling, you can’t get bruises like that from a fall.” he fumed.

“JJ I did fall!” I exclaimed, partially telling the truth.

“I’ve wanted you, for so long now....and I thought I finally had you. Then you go back to Kelce, after everything he did.” he said in disbelief. 

“Stop JJ please!” I yelled, choking as I felt tears come to the surface.

“Guess trash like me doesn’t deserve a girl like you huh y/n?” he questioned mockingly. 

“He hit me!” I screamed, both of us freezing.

“What?” JJ asked, his voice barely a whisper. 

“Last night, Kelce came over...he found out about us being together more. Let’s just say he didn’t like it.” I stated, marching to my bag. I yanked out a makeup wipe, dragging it over the sensitive skin. 

“Oh-my-god,” JJ whispered.

“So yeah, I didn’t fall. He slammed me against the wall and choked me after smacking me for telling him to fuck off.” I sniffed.

We were both silent after that, I stared at the floor. I could feel his gaze burning into my skin, analyzing every detail. He got up suddenly, throwing his hat on. JJ marched out the door, a look of pure rage in his eyes. I ran after him, knowing exactly what was in his mind. 

“JJ!” I shouted.

“That motherfucker has some nerve,” JJ raged, the other getting up to see what was going on. 

“JJ please don’t go!” I cried, reaching to grab his arm.

“Oh no, no. The Kooks are not getting away with it this time, not after laying a hand on my girl.” he stated, shaking free of my hold. 

I was too worried at the moment to think about what he had said, everyone looking between us confused.

“What the hell is going on?” John B. asked.

“Dude her neck, Kelce did that.” JJ said, pointing at the now very prominent bruises. The others gasped, staring in horror.

JJ didn’t wait for anyone as he jumped in the van, all of us following after him. 

================================

We arrived at the Boneyard, I knew Kelce would be here more than likely with Rafe and Topper. JJ stormed out of the van, walking quickly to find them. My heart dropped when we spotted them, JJ stalking over to where they were. I raced after him, the others following behind me. 

“Well if it isn’t the happy couple everyone has been talking about.” Kelce taunted, a smug grin on his face.

“You piece of shit!” JJ yelled, punching Kelce in the face.

“JJ!” I gasped, Kie grabbing my arm before I could go to him. 

“You-no-good-motherfucker! You dare lay a hand on my girl!” JJ sneered between punches.

“She’ll never be yours Maybank, I always win.” Kelce laughed as blood spewed from his nose. 

“If I see you within 100 feet of her, I’ll kill you.” JJ said darkly.

“That slut will never be satisfied.” Kelce said, igniting another surge from JJ as he hit Kelce again and again. 

“You abused her asshole, what kind of man treats a woman like that?” JJ scoffed.

“She asked for it.” Kelce said, throwing me an accusing look. JJ wrapped his hands around his throat, John B. and Pope jumping in to pull JJ off.

“If you EVER come near her again, I’ll fucking kill you!” JJ screamed as the boys dragged him away.

==================================

Once we got to the chateau, everyone headed inside except JJ and I. He pulled me into a hug, his head going into the crook of my neck. He kissed the skin there, tingles shooting through me. 

“So I’m your girl now?” I teased, smiling as JJ chuckled. 

“Hell yeah,” he said, pulling his head back to look at me. 

“Thank you for everything J,” I said softly, my hand going to caress his cheek. 

“Anything for you sweetheart.” he whispered, his forehead coming to rest on mine. 

I got on my toes and kissed him, grasping on to him tighter. His hand went to the back of my head, holding me there as our lips moved. I felt as if I were on top of the world, JJ pulled me closer as we fell deeper into the kiss. I pulled away when I felt dizzy from the lack of oxygen, our chests both rising erratically. We were both smiling like idiots, basking in the after glow of doing what we both wanted for so long. 

That night, I fell asleep cuddled next to JJ...the boy who I had longed for and was finally mine.

[opes-magnas]

『 as lonely as time can get. 』

It’s finally here!! I’m a terribly slow writer, and am really thankful to all those who waited for this! Hopefully you enjoy. Thank you so much to @hamjjy, @kaavijournals and Lady L for beta reading this, you guys are the best!

Listen to this playlist here for the best experience!

tw: cursing, body sensitivity, very subtle idea of anxiety and toxic relationships are portrayed.

~calypso <3

I. the moon can't shine on her own.

She looks serene tonight - high up in the night sky, not a single star to accompany her. Does the moon feel lonely like that? Does she ever need a warm hug? Perhaps she gets one from the sun, and he accompanies her all time. Does the sun shine for her? So that the world can see her beauty? Perhaps so. When she can't see him, she turns bloody red; she seems disturbed. Hurt. Lost. Her fury always frightened the humans. It made them shiver inside their homes, praying to see the familiar ball of light rise from the east to calm her down. Perhaps it is better if they could only see her beauty. But does that mean the sun shines, not to show her beauty, but to protect the humans from her true self? Perhaps so.

The sun and the moon are a pair. And they will continue to be.

As long as the moon can't shine on her own.

Let's stop thinking, Luna.

The moon seems lonely.

I look up at the clock. A red, metallic light tells me its 3:48 am, 3rd April. Great, now I can have four shots of espresso for breakfast. Thank you, oh great mind, for deciding that we needed to have that conversation earlier. I sit up on the bed and rub my eyes. The curtain flutters from the soft wind blowing in through the window. Cicadas fill up the silence as I look at the full moon illuminating my room another time. Oh, how I hate the moon. What a hypocrite. I look away, and my eyes find the pile of open textbooks and spark notes I abandoned. A small smile creeps up my face. At least I'll ace that History test tomorrow. I could imagine the Boba Tea reward from Leo in my hands already. Leo. The annoying kid next door who's been stuck with me since I was five. Don't worry, though. I don't like him. Not anymore. He made it extremely clear that I was 'a size too big' for him. Then why do I still hang out with him? Short answer - I beat him up, he apologized. I shall offer no elaboration. Still, a lump forms in my throat. And maybe because he wasn't completely wrong.

I get up to go grab a glass of water. Mochi is lying in her bed in the hallway. This is the first time she didn't stir awake when I thumped across the room. The poor fluffball of a cat is probably very tired from the bath I forced her into in the evening.

You need to lose a few pounds anyways, Luna. Get rid of those love handles. Maybe some fat on your back too. That'll make people find you more approachable.

It isn't toxic if it's true, right?

That night, I decide that my glass is half-empty rather than full, and go back to bed. Suddenly, Mochi wakes up and runs into my room. She snuggles in and throws her paws on my hair like it's her property. I choose to oblige the demon for today.

The last thing I see before sleep lures me is the clock gleaming '3:59 am'.

/////-----

It's too warm in my blanket. I almost want to peel my skin off. I need to get sleep, I have a test soo- I jolt awake. Mochi is no longer next to me. I assume she's back in the comfort of her bed, considering the temperature in the room. I let out a groan as my hand outstretches to the switchboard. After a few terrible attempts, I finally turn on the ceiling fan. As sleep threatens to take me again, I see that it's still dark out and the moon looks just as annoying as it did earlier, its ever luminant light breaking down the walls of my privacy. My eyes turn to the direction of the clock- 3:48 am, 3rd April. Huh, weird. I realize I must have had one of those five-minute, extra strength-giving, amazing nap- Wait why does the clock say it's 3:48 am?

I grab my phone. The sudden light blinds me for a second, and through squinted eyes I see 3:49 am on the screen. Huh, really weird. Wasn't I awake just now  - err, earlier? Wait what? I realize I make no sense, maybe I just read the time wrong the first time. My brain is repeating the features of the Hammurabi Code, my drowsy eyes are drooping, and I meet slumber once more.

I barely feel Mochi slipping back into my blanket.

/////-----

I wake up in wonder why my alarm hasn't rung yet. The room is still dark, the moon stares at me curiously. Give me some privacy, moon. My eyes turn towards the clock for the third time this night- 3:46 am, 3rd April. Bullshit. I've been asleep for hours now; I won't need those four espresso shots for breakfast anymore. My tongue clicks involuntarily. Is this some sort of a stupid prank? Leo is definitely behind this, I'm going to hunt that dipshit down.

Come to your senses, Luna. The universe cannot prank you. That's impossible. And stupid.

I grab my phone again. An attempt in vain, I realize, when I see the screen displaying the same time. I text Leo.

| loser |

you (3:46 am, 03.04.2021): you awake?  (read) 

loser (3:48 am, 03.04.2021): no

A chill goes down my spine. Did the just relive 3:38 am? I decide to call Leo. Two rings in, I hear a familiar voice, 'I said I wasn't awake.' He sounds tired, voice raspy and strained. You'd think he'd just woken up from the but he's the sort of person who thinks sleep is for the weak. 'Yeah no shit, Sherlock. I'm speaking to your alter ego, Thomas.', I reply.

He decides to ignore my bad retaliation, and saves me from the embarrassment. 'Why is my star pupil awake at 3 in the morning? Has she forgotten about the test she will help me cheat tomorrow?', he asks. Ah, this freeloader. I'm gonna kick his ass. My hands move frantically in the air out of annoyance, 'I am not helping you with anything!', I scream-shout into the phone, afraid I'll wake Mochi up in the hallway. She's a bigger annoyance than Leo; no one in the universe has energy to deal with a grumpy Mochi.

'Honey, you love me.'

'You're being delusional.', I deadpan.

'Is my chubby baby irritated?', he says in a fake cooing voice. And that got me.

'Leo, I did not call you at 3 in the fucking morning for you to put me down.'

The other side of the line immediately goes silent. Silence that reminded me of the last time this happened. Silence between the two of us on a Boba Tea study session in the park after an argument, the only sound being the pages of my sociology textbook being turned, and of the sound of baby birds in a nest nearby. Though I know that Leo meant it as a term of endearment, I couldn't believe he wouldn't ever, well, consider me more than just a friend because of it. A few seconds (sometimes minutes) pass before -

'I'm sorry, Lunie, you know I don't mean it,'

Another apology.

I sigh. I'm tired of this conversation again. I'm tired of having to deal with the same problem again. I'm tired of people putting me down. I'm tired of blaming myself. I'm tired of trying to look pretty. I'm tired of Leo. I'm tired of me. I'm tired of another heartbreak. I know his apology is genuine. I know he doesn't mean it. I know he's just being the Leo he always is. But somehow his words still continue to haunt me. Maybe it's because it's coming from someone who means to me the most, coming from someone who brightens me up, like the sun does to the moon.  Then why am I the only one taking it seriously? Why am I trying to fit into someone else's standards? Why am I so painfully aware of everything but still choosing to be blind?

Why am I not able to love myself even though I want to?

'Luna? You there?', his voice breaks me from my train of thought. Weirdly, he sounds quite scared. 'I didn't realize how much it bothers you, I swear I won-'

Mochi jumps onto the bed and snuggles into my head again, paws in a similar place in my hair. A weird sense of Deja vu washes over me again. And then-

『 pop! the world has reset.』

My eyes opened in fear as a gasp escapes my mouth. I'm sitting on my bed, trying to comprehend what just happened. The curtains flutter with the wind blowing by. The moon stares in curiosity. My phone's on the bedside table. The clock gleams with a bright '3:01 am' displayed on it. And the problem is that I wasn't dreaming, and I wasn't mistaking the time either.

I'm in a time loop.

II. a tub fills with water only to spill it.

I fucking hate whoever wrote Groundhog Day.

Like who decided that? Who decided to say 'Hey, let's make a movie based on time loops!'? 'Let's make a dude live the same day all over again till he gets it right! Let's make him really happy, then really sad!'

Son, I'm this close to pulling an Ides of March on you.

I seem to be looping every hour, more specifically from three in the morning to four. Five hours have passed by, but my clock tells me it's precisely 3:18 am. Great. My dearly detested friend, the moon, is my only companion in this war with time (sorry Mochi). In the five hours that should have gone by, I have accomplished the following:

Two and a half hours of sleep - though I wake up when the clock resets.

Half an hour of revision for that History test I need to write after I get out of this shit.

Thirty minutes of planning a workout, Fifteen minutes of Yoga.

Five minutes of trash talking the moon, Ten minutes of dealing with grumpy Mochi who woke up as I exercised.

Thirty minutes of wondering if Leo's looping with me, and

Half an hour of figuring out what went wrong, and how to make the night perfect.

I don't know how much longer I'll be able to remember anymore. I've tried everything - making notes, scribbling on the wall, writing on myself, engraving things on desk - but none of them seem to make it through when the loop resets. I'm too tired to talk to Leo, knowing very well that he would definitely not believe me. And partly because I'm afraid I'll lose my temper and get hurt again. I'm afraid I'll end up being the insecure bad guy, and he doesn't deserve that. He deserves someone better. Someone who's prettier, kinder and happier. Not telling him for the time being also meant that I'll never find out if he was looping with me. But that probably isn't the case, the universe is cruel for a reason. This is perhaps its punishment for me. I must go through this alone.  No one's ever been by my side anyways.

I'm as lonely as the moon.

/////-----

Another few hours pass. The pop between every reset scares me lesser and lesser. But my desperation to return back to normal is growing. I've been trying to figure out what went wrong for the past hour in the neighbourhood park. The cold air  perfectly paired up with the mint chocolate chip ice cream in my hands. Was it me staying awake this long? Should I have just gone to sleep?  There must have been something I did wrong that hour. My heart wishes to call Leo and confide in him. And the more time goes by, the more my mind wishes to oblige to that crazy request.

I pull out my phone, which gleams a bright '3:58 am'. It's almost time for the reset. In two minutes, I'll be magically transported back to my bed. I sigh. I can't take living the same hour again. The hour grips my sanity like it is a play toy. I waste another countless moment wondering where I went wrong.

『 pop! the world has reset.』

Well, I guess there's no place like home. I wonder if Mochi was worried the previous hour when she didn't find me in the bed. Do cats feel worry for their owners? Does Mochi care for me? What kind of a disgusting ship is this? Cringe, cringe, cringe. Shut up, Luna. I bury my nonsensical idea of my cat showing me love for once in the deep pits of my mind, and pretend I never thought of such blasphemy. I shift under my blankets, and decide to sleep through this hour, foolishly hoping that the reset would never take place if I was never awake, though I woke up when the clock reset each time earlier. My eyes look at the clock - 3:05 am.

That's when doorbell suddenly rang. I launch up in surprise. This didn't happen before. My heart begins to pound extremely hard, my head hazed in confusion. I run towards the door as quickly as possible stirring Mochi awake in the process, and fling it open.

It's Leo. And he's in tears.

His eyes are filled with fear, breath unsteady. Beads of sweat line his neck as he tries to get words out. Leo grips my hands tightly, as though he wants me to hold him and tell him it was going to be okay. This hasn't happened in a very long time. He's gotten a much better hold on his anxiety in the past few years. I pull him into a hug and mutter words of comfort. His head is leaning on mine, and his breath slows. I tell him we'd be alright, and hum a calming tune. And we stay like that for the next five minutes.  

'Luna,', Leo whispers into the night. 'Would you believe me if I told you something crazy?'

'Like what?'

'Like a war against the clock.'

And that's when I knew. Tears start brimming in my eyes as I give out a sigh of relief. 'Like a time loop?', I say as I hug Leo a little tighter. This time I needed one to remind me I wasn't alone. He seems to catch on as well, a sob escapes from him as he melts in. We stay in each other's arms, in each other's comfort - a place where walls were deaf to all the shared secrets, a sanctuary with no limits.

Oh, what I'd do to protect it.

Leo pulls away, his eyes disappear and his lips form into a sheepish grin. His face is puffy from all the crying, but it glows in the soft moonlight. My eyes widen in surprise as he grabs my hand and drags me out the door. I manage to see the clock on the kitchen counter gleaming with a bright '3:15 am.' before blood rushed to my face upon meeting the cold air.

'Where are we going? Are yo- ah it's fucking cold out here!', I complain.

'Ice Cream.' Classic hungry Leo. This boy is a demon.

iii. the twilight hour.

'What's wrong with you?!', I huff as I bend down to catch my breath and hide myself under a tree. Leo, on the other hand, is breathing quite easy, a stupid grin plastered on his face (oh, how I want to punch him). His hands hold up a bag with three tubs of mint chocolate Ice Cream like they're the greatest creation of God. 'Did you really have to steal Ice Cream?! Are you five?', I say as I recall the incident that just took place, how Leo basically ran out the convenience store with the sweet goodies without paying and left me, his dear, penniless (and only) friend as the bait to a potential flat-earther of a cashier (long story, don't ask).

And now we're here, the park I was in the previous hour. There's not a single soul around. The only companion being the moon once again. His smile shines through like the sun, however.

'I'm rweally sowwy, delulu,', he retorts.

'My name is Luna, and no one can ever be as delusional as you, you dill hole.', I say, my ears red.

'Good now, I shalt promoteth thee to 'Deluna'. Thee has't been felicitat'd.'

I click my lips in annoyance. I know quite well that when the clock resets, all the stolen Ice Cream would be back in the freezer. But I try my best to maintain a straight face to show my discontent. That's right Luna, assert your fucking dominance. I notice that his hazel eyes shining with the mischief I'm used to once again. He's back to the loud, obnoxious and teasing Leo he's always been. Leo who's carefree, Leo who's horribly reckless, Leo who finds happiness in uncertainty. My Leo. My lips slowly curl into a smile, and I give in. He's happy, and that makes me happy too. Leo suddenly pulls out his phone.

'Look here, Partner in time.', he says cheekily.  I hear a click. My brows wring into discomfort and confusion.

'What? You look pretty in the moonlight.', he states without skipping a beat. There's a million tugs in my stomach, and blood rushes to my bronze skin. Butterflies soon turn into more sinister as I remember our conversation on the phone earlier. My face falls, if only this boy knew what he puts me through. First I'm not good enough, and now I'm pretty? Does he really throw around stuff like that without giving it a second thought? Does he not realize all that he's putting me through?

This is pointless. My feelings for him are pointless. The amount of time I waste on this is pointless. 'Our friendship is pointless.', I say. Regret follows immediately. Leo's face turns grim too; an unreadable expression plastered on his face. I suddenly remember something I jotted down my sociology textbook.

words left unspoken, my hearts screams, my head's in pain, we are in conflict.

Tears well up in my eyes again. This is a conflict, the most peaceful one at that. Terrifying. One that makes you curl into a ball and wish you never existed. One fueled by guilt, by insecurity, by ignorance. I remember the rest of the poem.

one of us was meant to get hurt, almost as though the heavens proclaimed it, on the day of creation. the celestial sky cried tears of gold, for it knew fate was cruel, but humans are crueler.

My hands are getting colder. My breath is hitching as my sobs get louder. Leo rushes towards me and tries to pull me into another hug. As much as I try to resist, he pulls me into his embrace. Fear devours my heart as I realize how I didn't feel at home anymore. I knew this sanctuary was going to break sooner or later. My heart is sick. It pains far too much as it beats in his embrace. Will it stop if I pull away? I try.

It does.

'Luna, what's wrong?!', Leo asks, truly afraid of what was happening.

'Us, Leo. Us.', I reply, voice barely a notch away from a whisper.

'What's wrong with us? We're Leo and Luna! You're the other half of thi-'

'Stop. Please.', I say firmly. My head feels too heavy, my heart too light. The moon shines down on me in its disgusting glory. I can't take it anymore. 'You're the reason I hate the moon, Leo. Because you are the sun. You only shine on me to mock me. To make me feel inferior.'  

'What're you talking abou-'

My tongue clicks loudly. 'You're so hypocritical!  You're an asshole who makes me feel like I'm the only one in the world, before throwing me out yourself. You make me feel insecure, Leo. I don't feel like I'm myself with you anymore.', I say, vitriol burning my throat. 'You disregard what I feel for you, because I'm the moon. You outcast me, because I'm the moon. You tie me down.

'You remind me of why I'll never shine on my own.'

I look at Leo. His hazel eyes turned dark, head down in shock. There's not a single drop of water in his eyes. He stands under the moonlight in silence. I can hear my heart palpitating.

'Why do you think the Sun shines, Luna?', he whispers. 'Is it to light the day, or to light the night?', he asks, a little louder this time. I open my mouth to answer.

'It's to light the night, Luna.', he interrupts. He knew I'd say neither. The sun shines for himself. He is selfish.

'The sun sheds it's light, because if it didn't, the moon would never-'

'That's exactly the prob-'

'get to see the world.' I stop midway in confusion. What is he saying?

'The sun shines because he wants the moon to see the world, Luna. He shines because if he didn't, the moon would be lonely. He makes sure to shed the perfect amount of light on her, so that she guides the traveler without scalding them, without making them blind.

'If he never shone, he'd have never have found his other half. The sun would have been just as lonely as the moon would have, Luna. The sun and moon are a pair, not because the moon can't shine on her own, but because they are lonely without each other.', Leo says.

And epiphany struck down like lightning. Leo needs me as much as I need him. He'd be just as lonely as I'd been without him. The moon's identity without the sun hadn't ever been her own. It was due to the sun's light she was herself. The sun made her the moon, and the moon made him the sun. They were inseparable, as destiny willed them to be, for they needed each other. For the sun to shine the brightest, and the moon to give comfort. But all that didn't answer why-

'Why did you say I wasn't enough for you?', I say, reminiscing that day in the park.   I remember picking out a bouquet of purple lilacs after studying a book about plant symbolism in the library. I spent hours trying to make myself look pretty. I spent a lot of time trying to make up my mind. And everything came crashing down.

'Because you deserve more!', Leo says in defeat, fingers brushing into his hair. 'Do you know how much of a loser I am? You deserve a hunk-a-ilicous person, are you really going to settle for a noodle?!', Leo says, gesturing to his lean figure. As sarcastic as his response seemed, he meant every word of what he said. That's just how Leo is.

'Leo, that's exactly how I've been feeling this whole time.' I pull Leo into a hug.  

Leo is no different than I've been my whole life. He's just as insecure and broken as I am, as I've always been. All my life, I'd seen him as a completely different person. We have different hobbies, we have different personalities. But we're still similar in ways that make us, well, us. It's just that our sanctuary needed to break to have it's walls built back stronger. I feel at home again.

'You're more of a sausage though. Alri-ALRIGHT lemme clear up, you're MY sausage okay? The best one in fact, I will use you in all my dishes.', Leo says as I pull out of his embrace and find a stone on the road to attack the disrespectful brat. Leo runs away and makes his way behind the usual Banyan tree at the edge of the park. 'That's literally the worst nickname ever!', I yell as I chase him.

'Mine own dearest sausage I begeth thee to reconsid'r!'

'TRY ME BITCH.'

'Hey, hey wait.', Leo holds down my hands and blocks my attack, and I'm left with no weapon except for the daggers in my eyes I choose to use against him. 'So, what are we now?', he asks.

'We're still Leo and Luna, dumb head.', I say after giving it a thought. Leo opens his mouth to refute, but soon decides against it. I assume he's content with the answer. We were friends, nothing could ever break that. Would we ever be something more? Who knows, maybe we would in the future when we love ourselves a little more, when we're comfortable with who we are, rather than who we're with.

Until then, we are Leo and Luna.

///////------

My eyes flutter open. I am leaning on the trunk of the Banyan tree next to Leo. I find myself in sleepy laughter as I look at his head lodged in between the roots of the tree. And suddenly, I see light in the distance. I immediately wake up from my position near the tree and walk to the edge of its canopy, heart beating in my stomach and look at the sky outside. The dark navy night melts into a light lilac, small streaks of tangerine bordering the the horizon. The birds are beginning to chirp in the trees, though the street lights are still on.

The time loop has stopped.

Meanwhile, Leo had stirred awake. He runs with his eyebrows up in surprise and squeezes the life out of me before his eyes turned dark in fear.

'WE HAVE SCHOOL.', he exclaims. I ignore him, and choose to stare into the sky. I look at the twilight hour. The sun and the moon were side by side, in harmony, like Leo told me. Tears escape my eyes in a sense of accomplishment. I could rest now. I give myself a small hug, and tell myself I'd worked hard. ('LUNA DO YOU REMEMBER THE HAMMURABI CODE.' 'That is not important right now!') The sun rises up, and salvages the few moments he has with the moon. I turn my head to the side and see that the moon looks serene, her light glow slowly fading as she decides to rest too.

But above all, I see that the moon is no longer lonely.

a/n: ahhhh yes if you’ve made it this far, i truly truly appreciate you for reading this, it means a lot to me. the past few days have been a little weird for me, and it took more than just motivation for me to get through writing this. again, thank you to all my beta readers, i really treasure all of you! i’d really love to get an ask about the short story, so if you enjoyed, make sure to send me one! i hope everyone’s staying safe! stay tuned with us because we have another surprise coming soon!

alatcg taglist:  @blue-hairbrush, @kaavijournals, @artbyeloquent, @47crayons, @writing-is-a-martial-art

general writing taglist: @shinesundark, @the-writing-avocado, @raenawrites​

@original-writing​

[halpertstuna]

magical moonlight - jj maybank

summary: a mysterious girl catches jj’s eye, but is it possible she only caught his?

-> prompt list <-

pairing: jj x reader

word count: 1,524

warnings: spooky vibes, probably typos and a touch of supernatural spirits!

A/N: this is a short lil’ halloween imagine, which was actually supposed to be a blurb. ofc i’m late per usual and posting this on november. also, this is kinda supernatural which i don’t usually do, but it was halloween, so why the fuck not!

hope you enjoy<3

-> masterlist <-

(gif credit: @toesure )

—

“What the hell are you doing JJ? Quit staring, you’re gonna scare her away,” Pope remarked snapping JJ out of his trance like gaze.

“What? I was not staring”

“Was too. By the way, you’ve got a little drool over there” John B. said mockingly, marking where he should wipe. JJ mimicked his actions sarcastically, punching him lightly in the arm.

Like every year, on the same spooky night, Ward, Rose and Wheezie were out on the main land, leaving the Cameron residence in the hands of Rafe and Sarah, and like every year, they threw a Halloween bash. It was a pogue tradition to crash the party since they weren’t invited, except this year, they were, for Sarah and John B. started dating.

This year, JJ dressed up as a boxer, John B. and Sarah as Bonnie and Clyde, Pope as Luke Skywalker and Kiara as a mermaid. JJ absolutely loved Halloween, and so did the rest of the pogues, they adored the feeling of equality, for everyone was dressed up, each individual hiding behind their own mask or face full of makeup, covering their true self. No judgment.

Most of the girls at the party were either dressed up as slutty cats, cops or witches, which was usually the type of prey JJ would go for, knowing they were east territory, however this time, a particularly mysterious girl caught his eye, one wearing a black widow costume, a red solo cup in her hand as she made conversation with Sarah and Kie.

John B. and Pope teased JJ the entire time about how he couldn’t keep his eyes off her, making his cheeks heat up until eventually he decided to approach her.

He thought about what he could say to her but nothing came to mind and he regretted his words as soon as they left his mouth.

“hey gorgeous, haven’t i seen you some place before?”

A pickup line. He mentally facepalmed himself.

She was a bit taken aback by his question, but recovered quickly answering “yes, that’s why i don’t go there anymore”. She then walked away, mumbling under her breath “typical fuck boy”.

JJ was confused to why she wasn’t interested, although he did realise he sounded quite stupid, he was yet to discover a girl who didn’t fall for his charms.

He walked up to her once more. “Let me start over, hi, I’m JJ”

“Good for you”

“Look, I’m sorry for that, okay? I promise I’m not like that”

“You’re lying” she said effortlessly seeing through his act.

“Are you sure this is just a costume or are you actually the black widow” he questioned pointing at her suit, for he was surprised, usually girls would follow him blindly, but not her. She giggled at his words but immediately averted her attention to anything other than him.

He begged her to give him another chance until she agreed.

They spent the majority of the night talking at the party and getting to know one another, although he was the one who did most of the talking, she mainly just listened.

He eventually suggested they leave, since the party was coming to an end but he didn’t want the night to as well, and neither did she.

An idea formed in her mind, “follow me” she said eagerly and he followed close behind as she led him up the stair case.

The music was muffled by the walls, fading more and more as they made their way up and farther away from the rest of the party.

They climbed out the window on the top floor, and laid on the roof beside one another as they gazed up at the stars, a comfortable silence washing over them.

They relished each other’s presence in that spooky night, as the wind howled through the trees, yellow leaves falling from them as a result of autumn breeze, making a crunchy sound when people stepped on them as they left the party.

The unearthly moon was full, reflecting in the eyes of the mysterious girl, her skin beaming in the moonlight and he was very much enjoying the view.

She looked back at him smiling then sat up, announcing she was leaving since it was getting late and her parents were probably worried.

“Good night JJ,” she smiled weakly “I like your name by the way” she added, a faint smile painting her lips.

“Thanks, got it for my birthday” he shot her a witty grin and her’s turned into a smirk. as he watched her attempt to get back inside, he remembered the burning question he forgot to ask.

She had one leg out the other side of the window when his voice chimed in her ears.

“Wait! I didn’t catch your name”

“That’s because I didn’t throw it” she retorted, leaving the rooftop and heading back inside.

He was mesmerised by her essence, there was something quiet magical about her.

He watched the front door carefully from the roof, yearning for her, to see her once more, even if it was just for a split second when she leaves the property.

He sat there patiently when five minutes turned to ten which turned to twenty quickly turning into an hour - at which point he was worried.

He went downstairs, seeing the other pogues all gathered by the kitchen counter, when he caught Kiara’s eye. “There you are JJ! We looked all over for you” She shouted, letting out a sigh of relief. “Yeah, I didn’t see you all night, where were you?” Pope asked.

JJ proudly wore a grin on his face, shooting them furrowed eyebrows as to why they were asking him such questions when they obviously knew the answer.

“Pope, do y’all have like short term memory or something? You guys know I was with that girl”

“What are you talking about? What girl?”

“You know what girl! The one you and John B. were teasing me about before, she was in a black widow costume,” he said as if it was obvious and they were just playing dumb.

They all gave each other worried looks with muddled expressions. “Come on you guys don’t remember?? Kie, Sarah, the two of you talked to her earlier”

“Is he imagining things now, or is it just the spooky spirit of Halloween taking over him?” Kie whispered to Sarah, loud enough for the rest to hear and they all cackled with laughter making JJ roll his eyes.

“Dude, I seriously don’t know what you’re talking about. The minute we got here you disappeared” John B. said putting a hand on his shoulder in a comforting manor.

“Well you couldn’t have missed her coming down the stairs, which brings me to why i’m here, did you guys see her leave?” He asked, desperate at this point for a positive answer.

“You were the only one up there JJ” Sarah gently said.

“Are you guys serious? Is this some kind of joke?”

“No, we seriously have no idea who you’re talking about” Sarah trailed off giving him a concerned look, then shrugged her shoulders “sorry...”

JJ got annoyed that instead of listening they just gave him the feeling like he’s gone insane, he didn’t imagine it, he couldn’t have, right?

He couldn’t stop thinking about the mysterious girl, how no one believed him, he looked for her everywhere, during each year after that, on Halloween, he went with the same boxer costume he wore the night he met her, in hopes she’d be where he goes and have no trouble recognising him.

He never saw her, until one night, he did.

On Halloween, five years after his encounter with her, JJ and the pogues went to a “haunted house”. John B. suggested they go to the old house on marly street, the abandoned one, he claimed it would be an adventure, especially on such a chilling evening.

A picture of her and her family members hung above the fire place in that dark house.

“oh my- HA! Guys come quick!” JJ squealed impatiently once he recognised her. The rest of the pogues all came running in his direction, afraid something bad might’ve happened.

“What is it JJ?” Sarah asked out of breath once she saw he was fine.

“Look, you guys! See?! I told you I didn’t imagine her!” He said enthusiastically pointing at her figure in the framed picture. “She’s real, I knew it! And you guys didn’t believe me!” Seeing the picture gave him a flicker of hope, he might get the chance to see her again.

“Now all I need to do is find her”

To Pope though, something still felt wrong, weird. He moved closer, observing the picture carefully from a better angle, when it hit him.

“Umm... JJ?”

“Huh?”

“I wouldn’t count on that...”

“And why is that Sooby-Doo?” he questioned sarcastically once he noticed Pope’s terrified expression, whose face went pale in fear as he spoke.

“Because that’s Y/N Y/L/N. She died in a fire in this house with her entire family. Exactly eight years before you supposedly met her, on Halloween.”

—

taglist:

@infinitelycharmed23 @queenofthepouges @bibliophilewednesday @bijleegiregi @princessnnylzays

feel free to add yourself to my taglist!

[undertalethingems]

Bark at the Moon, Chapter 4: Antagonized

<Previous / Next>

Or read on my Ao3>

Rating, Setting: Gen, Pre-canon

Chapter Warnings: None?

Chapter Summary: Flowey’s run out of things to do. At least, he thinks he has.

Flowey flinched at heavy crashing further up the channel; it sounded like something big had fallen in the trash heaps. Big things didn’t come through often, so as bored as he was he figured he may as well check it out. It'd be wild if it were a human or something besides garbage, but he wasn't going to get his hopes up. He ducked into the murky water and burrowed through the mud below to pop up between the piles of garbage, the best vantage point for spotting anything new. Didn’t look like much… wait, that one looked lopsided. He popped up closer to it, peered around the refuse, then checked the other side and gasped.

A skeleton lay half-buried in the pile.

It wasn’t just any old skeleton—or any new skeleton, for that matter. Inching around, Flowey could make out the shape of the skull and knew he’d seen it before. Only, it hadn’t been attached to a body, or appeared outside of battle. All of this was new.

“Um, howdy! You alright there, friend?” he called, wondering what kind of response he might get. As it turned out, he got none. The creature just laid there, eye sockets closed. Flowey frowned, and extended a vine to poke its scapula. “Hello? What are you, dead?”

Fangs sheared through his vine in a blur, and he grunted at the pain. The creature’s jaws snapped open and Flowey braced himself for the next strike, but his nerves faded to curiosity as the beast seemed frozen, jaws still open and eyes wide but dark. Slowly, it reached up with heavy claws to tug at its own teeth, then shut its mouth and curled a hand tight around its snout as if to hold its jaws shut. A hushed, weary whine escaped from it, and Flowey thought the tone was familiar.

“Uh, hey there!” he tried again, and the creature slowly turned to face him. “Sorry to wake you, but you didn’t look so good. Are you okay?”

The creature seemed to think for a bit, and he wondered if it understood him until it bunched its shoulders up into a shrug. Of course it would, if it was one of his.

“Fair enough. I probably wouldn’t be doing too good if I’d just fallen into a pile of garbage too,” Flowey joked. “Wait here, I’ll get'cha something to eat.”

It wasn’t far to the cooler of astronaut food someone had left down here ages ago, and he picked a couple packets up before heading back to his interesting new pal. He’d never thought he’d be making friends with one of these, but maybe it’d tell him how to beat that smiley trashbag. He pushed his way back up through the mud, and presented the snacks to the creature.

“Okay! Here you go, just take the wrapper off and—yeah, pretty good right? If you’re into weird, dried-out food, anyway. How ya feelin’ now, buddy?”

The creature made a humming sound. It was weird how much it sounded like him, and the glowing cyan irises that now filled its sockets were also familiar, but Flowey tried to ignore that. Probably just side effects of who it belonged to.

“So what are you doing all the way out here? I bet Sans is looking for you, he doesn’t let you guys out like, ever. Say! My name’s Flowey by the way, Flowey the flower. What’s yours? Do you even have one?”

The creature narrowed its eyes, then extended its left paw. Flowey gave it his vine, his own eyes narrowed as they shook, and the thing he knew as a gaster blaster cleared its nonexistent throat.

“heya. i’m sans.”

Flowey felt his brain break. “…What.”

“you seem surprised. have we met before?” the creature—Sans—observed, slowly sitting back on his haunches.

“Gh—no,” Flowey replied shortly, trying to recover his composure. “Not properly! I-I mean, I’ve heard of you, so, I know of you.”

“of course you have, everyone knows me,” Sans agreed. He leaned closer, grin seeming to turn sharp despite the fact it was already made of jagged fangs. “now, the real question is… who did you think i was before i introduced myself?”

Flowey grimaced--he’d slipped up.

“listen pal... i don't wanna jump to any conclusions, but it seemed like you recognized me. and if that's true… i think we’ve met before, and it was NOT under good circumstances.”

He’d really slipped up. Sans was standing now, looming over him ominously. No, no—he wasn’t ready to end this run yet, not when it had finally gotten so interesting! Sans was too perceptive for his own good.

Sans grunted as vines wrapped around his limbs, lashing him to the heap of garbage before he could skip away. More vines whipped out and wound around his jaws—Flowey was taking no chances, not when he had something so new to toy with. Sans was supposed to be a round, talkative, terrifying jokester, not a weird animal. But here he was, covered in heavy spines and on all fours with a long tail. Flowey wasn’t sure what he’d do with him, but he could figure that out later. Right now, he wanted to take his prize somewhere no one would find it.

Sans gave a bit of token resistance, but eventually went limp and let Flowey drag him along through shadowy caverns. There was much of Waterfall still uninhabited—places where it was too dark, too damp, too cramped—corners where perhaps no one had set foot for centuries. Flowey worked his way along until he found a small cavern that seemed perfect—he couldn’t even hear the distant dull roar of rushing water, and the only light came from a few glimmering crystals embedded in the stony walls.

“Okay smiley trashbag, wakey wakey!” Flowey sang harshly as he deposited his captive. “We’re alone. Tell me what the hell you are.”

Sans lifted an eyelid to gaze at him. “why?”

“I’m the one asking questions here! Besides… I’ll kill you if you don’t! Hee hee!”

“hm. sure you will.”

"Yeah! It won't be hard!”

“nope.”

“So, you don’t care if you die… but maybe… your brother!” Flowey threatened with a wicked grin, only to be met with the same nonchalance.

“ok.”

Flowey glared at him. “What, you really don’t care about what happens to your beloved, precious Papyrus?”

Sans shrugged. “eh. if you’re what i think you are… then it doesn’t really matter what you do, does it?”

Flowey curled his lip. “I’ll make you watch as I dust him bone by bone! You’ll be haunted by his screams forever!”

“that’s… pretty messed up, my dude. you need to talk?”

“Don’t turn this around on me!” Flowey shrieked. “I’ll destroy EVERYONE and make you watch!”

“hm… well, chances are you’ve already done that at least once. after all, you know what i look like,” Sans replied. “but it doesn’t matter what either of us do. i accepted that a long time ago.”

“And that’s why you’re a lazy slob who never does anything,” Flowey stated with contempt.

Sans shrugged. “yup.”

“Ugh, whatever. It's way more interesting to keep you alive now anyway,” Flowey grumbled. “You’re even more of a freak than before. I wonder… does your brother know you’re like this? I wonder what he’d think if he saw you.”

“wouldn’t care.”

“…Wait, are you saying you wouldn’t care, or that he wouldn’t care?” Flowey pressed, and Sans shrugged yet again. He was so frustrating sometimes, and Flowey scowled. “Ugh. I know what I’ll do. As much as I’d love to finally kill you, I think I’ll keep you alive… as my pet. You’ve humiliated me too many times, and now I’m going to repay the favor!”

Flowey laughed until he noticed Sans was falling asleep.

“Hey! Wake up! You really don’t care what I’m going to do to you?!” He shook the vines restraining his prize, jostling him awake.

“hmm? eh… not really. can’t be worse than what i’ve already been through, so it doesn’t really matter,” Sans murmured in reply, snuggling against the rough stone floor despite how he was bound.

“W-well…” Flowey stumbled, “maybe… you don’t care now! But let’s see how you feel in a month! Maybe even longer! Hee hee hee!”

Sans shrugged again. “in that case, i’m going to sleep. wake me in a month, ok pal?”

Flowey growled and tightened his vines until Sans was pressed to the floor, and leaned in to leer at him. “You listen here, trashbag. By the time I’m done with you, you’ll be—”

Bones stabbed up from the floor inches from his face, and he leapt back with a yelp.

“i’ll be what, kid? broken? dusted? flower’s best friend?” Sans said, a deadly chill in his voice as he fixed Flowey with one piercing eye. “fine. you have fun trying. but don't think this is gonna be easy. i'm not some helpless puppy you picked up off the street. i'm not like ANYTHING you've seen before."

Flowey felt a shiver run through him as he stared into Sans’ dark sockets, but he pulled a smirk. “Hah! What do you think I am, an idiot? 'Cause I'm not.”

Sans only chuckled dryly. “you keep telling yourself that. i’m going to sleep.”

Flowey growled, but held back. He needed to strategize. Sans wasn’t someone he could just threaten into submission, and knowing his stats, he couldn’t torture him either if he wanted him alive. He’d have to come up with some other way to get to Sans--but for now it might be fun just watching what his absence would do to his friends. Another smirk curled at the corners of his mouth, and he ducked below-ground to head for Snowdin, making sure to keep his prize tied up tight. He knew what the world looked like with everyone but Sans gone--it was time to see the opposite.

[rainandhotchocolate]

Tension - Part 9

A/N JUST TO CONFUSE Y’ALL here is tension part 9 instead of Blackout part 10 - oops. Blackout will be out in two days though so don’t give up on me yet <3 Enjoy!

Also sorry if you’ve not been tagged! I had my taglist go haywire so I don’t think it saved some of the newer requests that I put in - hit me up if this is the case.

~~~~~

The next day passed slowly. Y/N felt like she was seeing Sirius everywhere, his curly dark hair sitting in every class, a cool, unfazed look boring into her every time she caught his eye. Remus was getting excited, talking in hushed tones all day about the changes they could do to the map. 

“What if we add all of the secret passageways out of the castle?”

“But we’ll need to figure out how to get into them all first.”

“We know enough for the moment – I’m sure we could add instructions or something.”

“Well if we are tracking everyone, would we be tracking ourselves anyw-“

“Lupin, Y/L/N, anything you are hoping to share with us all?” McGonagall’s eyes pierced into their own, making them both bob their heads down. 

“No.”

“Then please pay attention.”

“Sorry Professor.” Lupin smiled up at her. Y/N rolled her eyes as Professor McGonagall huffed but softened her eyes. Suck up.

Remus continued to write notes all throughout class, muttering to himself softly as he began drawing little caricatures of people and stairwells that moved around his parchment. 

They traipsed back to the dungeons after dinner, settling in front of the fire to start on their Transfiguration homework and wait for 11pm to strike. Slowly but surely the common room emptied, students moving back to their dorm rooms and leaving a soft silence in the room that was unnerving Y/N greatly. The emptier the room became the more she began to think about certain boys and not how to transfigure moving objects into other moving objects. 

The two of them had already given up on the essay by the time 11pm hit and were pulling on their cloaks by the entrance when the clock chimed loudly in the common room. 

“Let’s go.” Remus grinned. Y/N hadn’t seen him this excited in forever and smiled back at him as they pulled their hoods up and exited the common room, keeping to the shadows of the hallways and using the walls to guide them instead of lighting their wands. They made their way to the Great Hall, the meeting spot Y/N had presumed, but as they moved closer she felt her stomach curdle. What if this was the wrong spot? What if it’s all just a big trap? Trap for what, don’t be stupid. 

They hovered around the edge of the entrance to the Great Hall, wanting an easy access point to the stairwell so they could make a run for it if Filch or Mrs Norris came prowling. 

Suddenly, two large hands seemed to come out of nowhere and place themselves hard on Remus and Y/N’s shoulders. 

“FUCK,” Y/N hissed jumping backwards and pulling out her wand and pointing it towards the hands that were now hovering in midair. 

“Man, that’s never not fun.” The voice of James Potter came from the empty space around the hands, and a cloak seemed to pull off and reveal both James and Sirius, the former grinning whilst Sirius’s face remained neutral. 

“Merlin’s beard, what is that?” Y/N croaked, feeling her heart still pounding loudly in her chest. 

“That’s an invisibility cloak,” Remus replied for James, looking in awe a the cloak, “Can I feel it?”

“Yeah, of course, why do you think I brought it,” James grinned and passed it over for Remus to feel, the cloak now visible in his hands. 

“To show off,” Y/N retorted, hoping her face looked calm. Sirius smirked but remained motionless behind James, not moving to greet them. Y/N noticed that he was still wearing long sleeves down to his fingertips.

“Come on, we want to show you guys something.”

“We?” Y/N muttered to Remus who snorted but signalled for James to go ahead. 

“Do you want to go under the cloak? Unsure if we’ll all fit but we can give it a go.”

“Yes!”

“I don’t know.”

Remus and Y/N replied at the same time, Remus grinning and Y/N looking nervously towards Sirius. He turned to her, eyes wide and exasperated.

“Come on, this is so exciting,” And then in a lower voice, “And you’ll get to squeeze right up nex-”

“OK OK, let’s go.” Y/N plastered on a smile and followed as Remus began asking questions about the cloak as he stepped under it. Y/N grabbed an edge at the same time as Sirius and watched as he jumped back slightly, hiding his hand again. Y/N narrowed her eyes, steeling herself. 

“Come on,” She pulled the cloak up and over the two of them, stepping forward so she could lean on Remus in front of her and try to avoid pressing herself against Sirius. They walked awkwardly together up the stairs, James hissing at Sirius every few minutes to stop falling out of step. 

They climbed up to the fourth floor, pausing every few moments to listen for anyone moving in the staircases around them or along the corridors now almost completely in darkness. 

“Stop stepping on my heels!”

“You’re taking tiny steps I can’t not hit you.”

“Would you two shut it before we all get put into detention?” James whispered towards Sirius and Y/N who had been stumbling on each other after the last flight of steps. “We’re here anyway.”

James pulled the cloak off all four of them, edging towards the wall on the far side of the fourth floor near the main flight of stairs. There was a large painting of an old woman with a large bowl of fruit on her head and several large pear trees covering the painting hanging beside a large mirror that was rusted over. 

“Are you ready for your minds to be blown,” Sirius stepped forwards, grinning at the mirror, and turning to face the three of them. 

“You’re really hyping this up.” Remus laughed but stepped forwards with him and crossed his arms. “Let’s see this miracle then.”

James joined Sirius at the mirror and held out his wand. He tapped the edge of the mirror four times, one on each of the top two corners and the other two in the middle left and right. Then, he muttered something and a light shone around the mirror, travelling from the top peak around to the bottom before clicking open and swinging forward. 

“Ta da!” James turned to them with jazz hands, Sirius leaning against the door in an apparent attempt to cool at ease whilst still pulling his sleeves down over his fingertips. 

“Holy shit,” Y/N gaped, “Where does it lead?”

“Is it out of the castle?” Remus was gazing at the edges of the mirror, reaching out to touch it. 

“Yep, right out into Hogsmeade.” James nodded towards it, “Want to check it out?”

“How long does it take to get there?” 

“An hour, maybe…?” Sirius grimaced, “Maybe we should try this on a weekend. 

“Yeah a two hour trek there and back is already going to be close to 2am.” 

“Who knew you two would be the party poopers,” Remus pouted but sighed, “But they are right, even though I’m very impressed you found out how to open it.”

“Believe me, it took more than a few goes.”

“Do you know more?” Y/N asked curiously, now peering down the passageway. James and Sirius looked at each other with mischievous grins.

“There are six others,” James leaned across from Sirius. They looked even more ridiculous.

“All over the castle,” Sirius continued. Remus held back a laugh. 

“They all leave the castle, but only one goes to Hogsmeade.”

“Two,” Y/N corrected. 

“Two?” Sirius turned to her, narrowing his eyes. 

“Well yeah… the shrieking shack?” Y/N laughed, “You know, where you tried to kill Remus.”

“Ahh, of course! Water under the bridge, no?” James winked at Remus and pulled a piece of parchment out of his pocket. 

“We got Peter to do some of the design on the front - don’t worry he’s cool.” James reassured Remus when he suddenly looked nervous. 

James handed over the parchment they had copied over, and opened it up. A swirling designed crept along the edges of the parchment, filling the whole page as Y/N opened up the folds as it revealed more and more of the castle until she could see half the castle and the grounds curling around the pages of the parchment. 

“This…” Y/N stammered, not believing what she was seeing. “How long did this take you?”

“Sirius, Peter, and I were building it out all holidays, Sirius and I most days and then Peter came and made it pretty.”

“Don’t you and Sirius live super far away?” Y/N queried, still looking at the map, tracing the figurines of the areas across the school. When no one answered, she looked up to see Sirius glaring at a very guilty looking James. 

“What?” Remus looked between the two of them suspiciously. James sighed loudly, still grimacing. 

“Sorry dude.” James hit Sirius on the shoulder, “Not my story to tell.”

Sirius rolled his eyes at him. 

“I don’t want to get into this.” Sirius looked down then back up and towards the map. “It’s still a work in progress, but we were thinking we’d pass it off to you to work your… magic.” 

Sirius grimaced at his choice of words, looking up at Y/N. It caught her off guard, her heart pounding uncomfortably at his stare. 

“Sounds good,” Y/N smiled at him, don’t you dare betray me face, stop it. She felt a blush creep up and onto her cheeks so she turned to Remus. “Here, you’re better keep hold of this, I’ll definitely lose it.”

“Unfortunately true.” Remus grabbed the map and folded it until it could fit into his pocket. “So was this midnight rendezvous just for this?”

James gasped, looking mock-hurt, “This wasn’t good enough for ol’ moon-boy?”

Remus turned to glare at Y/N. 

“You told him?”

“No, of course not!” Y/N hesitated, “I told Sirius.”

“You’re the worst friend ever.”

“Or perhaps Sirius is the worst secret keeper ever,” Y/N teased, seeing if Sirius would engage with her again but he just avoided her gaze. She frowned but tried to ignore it. 

“We should probably getting back, I do want to be awake in class tomorrow.” Remus looked expectantly at Y/N. 

“Easy Mcpeasy Moon-boy,” James dodged out of the way of Remus’s arm, grinning, “Come on Sirius, let's leave these two slytherins to their evening business.”

“You go on ahead, give me a sec,” Sirius nudged James who quickly eyed Remus and turned away. Y/N turned to Remus to ask what was going on but he had already begun waving at the two of them and skulking into the dark of the corridor. 

“Meet you in the Great Hall!” Y/N heard him say quietly before she turned back to Sirius who was rubbing the back of his head awkwardly. 

“I just wanted, uh, to say sorry,” Sirius started, still picking at his sleeves awkwardly. 

“That’s ok… I think,” Y/N laughed lightly, “I’m not really sure what your apologising for.”

“For being a bit out of it lately.”

“You mean ignoring me?”

“So you do know,” Sirius pointed out. Y/N sighed. 

“Sorry I just, I'm confused. I know you’re apologising but I don’t really know what’s going on.”

“Can’t you just, accept, you know, that I’m sorry?” He smiled sheepishly at her. She watched him closely. Y/N wasn’t sure if she had ever seen him this nervous before. Well not at least before he’d asked her to their Christmas Party. 

“Well yes, but-”

“See now lets have no buts alright? Clean and simple, I’ll stop being a dickhead, you forgive me, easy peasy.”

Y/N rolled her eyes at him but couldn’t help smiling a little. 

“Look, I just need to know if I  did something wrong. I mean I thought we had a good time at Christmas? I’m just confused is all.” Y/N sighed, feeling very exposed in the moonlit hallway around her. Sirius looked up at her quickly. 

“No, Merlin no you didn’t do anything! Fuck I’m sorry I’m a bloody mess it’s really and truly not because of you…”

“But…?” Y/N smiled. She could sense it in his tone. You’re fine it’s just -

“It’s your family,” He said softly. your family. Classic.

“Oh,” Y/N took a step back. She hadn’t heard this in years, not since she’d stopped trying to make friends in other houses. But it still didn’t feel like a shock to her, it was something she’d wondered about ever since she heard stories of him rebelling against the Black family clan. He’d finally cut ties. 

“Congratulations,” Y/N muttered again, stepping back further from him. 

“No, Y/N, come on -” Sirius tried to reach her shoulder but she dodged out of his way. 

“I need to go meet Remus, I’ll see you… soon.” Y/N turned on her heel, ignoring his call out to her as she made her way quickly down the stairs and into the Great Hall. 

“Remus you are not going to belie-” Y/N froze as she took in the sight ahead of her. Remus, eyes wide and nervous, staring at her, Professor McGonagall by his side looking like she might kill someone in her nightgown and cap. 

“Ah, nice of you to join us Ms. Y/L/N.” She smiled tightly at him. “Remus was just telling me that he was alone. Perhaps we can rehash this story to your head of house.”

“I-we- “

“Please save the excuses for someone else, come with me please, now.”

Taglist:  @AVERYTRUERAYOFSUNSHINE @SIRIUSLYJANHVI

@BLUSHINGSKYWALKER @BLACKPINKDOLAN @THEBABBLINGBOOKWORM @CHERRIE511 @IMLUKESNIRVANA @AVENGERSASSEMBLEE @MARAUDERSANDCO @SLY-VIXEN-UP2NOGOOD @KATBERNOULLI @SIRIUS-LYSAD @EVYIIONE​ @MINERVA26LOVE @AIKEIA @GOLLYDEREK​ @GREATWOMBATBLAZE  @SONGFORHEMA​  @YOUR-TYPICAL-GIGGLE​ @MYOWNVIPERROOM​ @HERMIONIE-IS-MY-QUEEN​ @DEMIWITCH527​@DESIDERIAENIGMA  @LAUE-BB​  @FK12B​ @SLYTHERPUFFGAL​   @FAIRTALDES @J-BRIELMALFOY​ @YOUR-TYPICAL-GIGGLE​ @DAVINCIBROCODE​  @SLEEPINGALASKA​   fific7

[queensdivas]

Wildest Notes Chapter 3

Warning now. 

We’re getting a little into Cora’s backstory in this chapter and it’s gonna be dark. I know this is supposed to be a cute story. But we’re here for back stories and this one I’ve been working on for a few days instead of writing a final paper. 

Genius I know!

Also if you got access to a piano or a piano app. It’s gonna make sense soon.

Also also. We gotta move this story along because I know y’all want some adorable fluff for them. 

Next Chapter

Masterlist 

Previous Chapter

C’mon you stupid weed! JUST! GET! OUT! OF! THE! GROUND! Yanking the weed out of the ground as I tossed it across the yard! Got you ya beast! My goodness that was a big weed that did not want to get out! My eyes drifted down to my left ankle to where the scar was almost gone all these years later. Should probably go check on Angus and make sure he isn’t going through the pantry. 

I stood up as I checked on Angus who was passed out underneath the branches of the white weeping cherry tree. The best thing about getting a big dog? It just loves to sleep around and be lazy which is absolutely perfect. 

When I was about to sit back down in the dirt to try to get back to gardening. But the phone began ringing as I got up from my crouching stance to walk inside my home. Angus popped up from the ground to trot his way inside the house with me, over to the fluffy rug in the living room and plop on the floor. Join him as I sat down against the wall then picked up the phone. 

“Cora speaking.” 

“I’m assuming you adored the Elvis Presley China?” Mama Seymour! 

“They look fantastic on the shelf Mama. So I’m assuming you sent them that this is the end?” 

“Yup. One more kid was about to be sent off to their new home, and I’m off to Hawaii!!” She’s been waiting for this trip about...her entire life? She had this trip planned since I can remember, some big plan to visit all the hot spots Elvis lived in and went to. 

“About time you went because if I had to sit through another Hawaiian/Elvis themed party I think I would’ve gone crazy.” 

“You enjoyed those parties and you know it!” 

“YOU PLAYED BEACH BOY BLUES FOR HOURS! YOU WORE DOWN YOUR BLUE HAWAII RECORD SO BADLY IT WOULDN’T PLAY!” She knows I’m joking. Partially. I kid you not that freakin’ record was destroyed after that party she threw for all of us. 

“Ya know you could just send me back those beautiful pieces of China.” Funny real funny. The bottom of my overalls began showing again as I tried to fix my pants again. 

“You’re a lot more quiet than usual.” She pointed out as I began staring at the windows in front of me. 

“Sorry you caught me right in the middle of my gardening.”

“You sure? Ya know if you ever need a break please call me from my cell and I’ll drag you to Hawaii. Listen I gotta run because the parents are here for the last one! Goodbye Cora!” 

“Bye..” Before I could finish saying bye she hung up her phone. Placing the phone back on the box as Angus was sitting right in front of me with his rope in his mouth. Guess that’s the cue for his walk, and the seed pods are being put on hold. 

He let go the rope leash from his mouth as I clipped it to his collar. Grabbing my keys from the small end table to open the front door. Is this a coincidence or just the universe being nice for once? Gard was literally placing the ads in my mailbox as I was looking through the screen door. 

“Hiya Gard!” He looked from the box as I shot him a smile. 

“Mind if I walk with ya? Need a break from the soil and Angus obviously needs the exercise. Lazy bum.” I opened the screen door as he took a step back. 

“I kind of a certain way of doing things..”

“Yeah yeah yeah. And the moon is made out of cheese Gard. You gotta spice it up a little in your life and me walking with you for a few blocks won’t kill you.” I opened the screen door to walk past him with Angus sticking right by my side. I heard him sigh as he walked past me to open the gate. 

“Thank you!” I smiled as we walked through the gate down the sidewalk. He kept his vision right on the sidewalk as we were in an awkward silence. 

“So Gard. How long have you been living here?” I asked him as he kept looking down at the sidewalk. 

“My entire life. I live with my brother Calvin.” So a brother...cool. 

“The folks? Retired to Florida?” 

“My parents are a few hours away.” Probably down in San Francisco. 

“San Francisco?” 

“East. Cool. Lotta cool places out East.” East where? Wait who am I pry? 

“What about you?” 

“Ummm my father passed away a few months ago in San Diego. Moved here for the job obviously.” Angus went to pop a squat as Gard went up to the next house to drop off the mail. When he came back Angus was done as we continued on our walk. 

His eyes were memorized by the pavement underneath his own two feet. My eyes went from Angus as I tried to figure out what about the sidewalk made it so interesting to stare at it. He noticed as I was tilting my head back and forth with my eyes squinting or wide open. 

“What are you doing Cora?” 

“Trying to figure out why you’ve been staring at this pavement the entire time we’ve been walking. Am I just not getting it?” I asked him as he stopped to face me. 

“Are you making fun of me?” 

“No. No honestly I’m not.” I crossed my heart as I formed a tiny little smile in the corner of his mouth. 

“AH! I saw that Gard! So tell me what exactly do you think about while walking around the neighborhood? Sports? Kind of surprised that I’m not seeing headphones in.” 

“Usually I’m so hypnotized by the mail or the sidewalk I don’t really think about it much. I’m not a big sports person and listening to music is definitely not allowed. So..I look at the sidewalk. It becomes..like a kaleidoscope. You turn and look at it differently, it can be anything you want.” I stopped walking as he reached into his bag and stuffed one of the mail boxes. 

“Like what?” He closed the mailbox and went onto the next one. 

“Just a different world.” More short answers. Ya know. Mama Seymour always told us that no matter how hard and long a man tries to become an island. He will never become one. 

“Can I do one?” 

“Do one what?” 

“Deliver the mail? C’mon just one! The world isn’t going to blow up if I put a few pieces of paper into a mailbox.” He looked so damn annoyed at me. Gard looked up and down the street then reached into his bag and gave me a tiny stack of envelopes. Gard pointed to the box as I handed him the leash to Angus. Opening the mailbox to place the envelopes inside then closing the box. 

“Gard I feel so changed. I can feel the rush!” Turning around as he approached me with Angus’ leash held up. 

“My job is important, you know. People communicate because of me.” If this was about eighty years ago sure. 

“Used to. Well unless you’re an old lady or nostalgic young adults who like getting fun things in the mail because they’re bored.” I laughed as he began walking away. 

“Oh c’mon Gard it’s a joke! You should get yourself loose every once in a while. It’s good for the soul.” I caught up with him as he looked down at the pavement. 

“If anyone asks, you’re my supervisor!” 

“Well then as your supervisor your stance sometimes when delivering the mail is unhealthy for your back. Not to mention your hat isn’t straight.” Gard stopped dead in his tracks and was beginning to panic. 

“Gard I’m just messin’. Wait hold on.” I tossed the lead down (I know Angus ain’t goin anywhere. He’s too old for that.) I reached up to fix his hat to make sure it was even. Gard was turning into a nervous mess as I finished fixing his hat. Once finished we looked at each other for a minute as he was a complete nervous wreck. Turning back towards the pavement with his head hung down again. 

“Hey hey hey! You gotta be showing me the neighborhood! Who lives in that house?” I pointed at the house that had the really big red ford that had elevated tires. Ya know. A small penis kind of guy truck. 

“Mr. Stotch. Owns the deli store in town and is a big American activist.” Now that I’m noticing it is the amount of American flags around the house and so much military propaganda!

“And that house?” Pointing to the house with the overgrown grass in the yard. 

“Mrs. Sancton. Works as a night guard at a prison.” My eyes widened as I looked over at him. 

“Wow. Thought this was your average neighborhood. You’ve got some dude who worships guns and just across the street is someone who guards cons. What a strange world.” I could tell Gardner was completely out of his comfort zone. Oh my god I can tell he’s just wanting to make a run for the hills with no looking back. So far he’s the only person that is relatively my age group so if this is how I have to make friends then I’m fine with it. But I do have to get back soon and take a nap then get ready for work. 

“I can tell that you’re completely comfortable around me. I’m gonna get going’ and take a nap before work.  Say bye Angus.” We stopped walking as Angus jumped up on Gard and over towered him. Angus licked his face to then stand back on his four legs. 

“See ya tomorrow Mr. Mailman!” I waved as Angus and I began walking off. 

A...A...B...B..A..A..B..B...A...A...B...B....D..F#...G..

A clash of thunder roared through the cave causing it to shake a little due to the fact that it was an unsturdy cave. The only place I could hide when he would drag me there was the outside of the hole. 

It was either freezing or melting all the time, the cave with nothing comfortable in between. There’s always metal buckets in the cave catching all the water..each drop in the bucket played a different tone. It turned into the only comfort as father would be in the hole for hours to even some days. 

A...A...B...B...A...A...B...B..A..A..B..B...D...F#....G…

He came out of the hole to drag me out of the cave to drag me to some sort of cheap food place for him to recover. I was always told he was making us money so that one day he would be able to move away.. 

But even I could see through his false promise.. 

One day we went to the cave and I was told to sit in the hole with my father. Said me being out in the hallway would be dangerous as if someone would kidnap me. But I wasn’t near my buckets to create the wave of peace over the sounds of horror coming from the different holes. 

Some sounded like they were wrestling, screaming, the sound of glass breaking, and then it ended with a loud bang. The bang would sometimes ring out 

A...A...B...B..A...A..B...B…...D..F#.................G.. 

“Come here you little sack of shit.” He came out screaming as I looked up from the ground. He yanked me into the room with a fistful of my hair. 

“Please daddy no! No!” 

“You piece of garbage!” Being dragged through the cave and into the hole...the dark pit..no. no no no..

My body felt like it dropped out of the sky as I felt my hand smack against the bed stand which woke me up. I gripped the bed sheets as tight as I could, bringing it up close to me for me to start trying to calm down. My right hand gripped my shoulder as I took a deep breath. It’s okay..it’s okay..it was a long time ago..it’s just fine Cora. 

I crawled out of bed to see that it was pretty late in the morning and I have to get started on pulling the weeds and getting the front of the house put together before it supposedly rains tomorrow. Trying to make sure the plants get some good fresh rain so their roots can grow into the soil.

Changing into my overalls and tossing my hair up in an extremely lazy braid. Walking into the kitchen as I grabbed an apple to quickly chow down on it before starting the lawn work. Stopping in front of the piano as I looked down at the keys..I think..I think I need to play a little before doing some manual labor. 

Opening the window of the music room as I could see the sun was hidden from the amount of clouds that were beginning to approach. Guess no manual labor today for me. AS soon as I walked away from the window the rain began to pour down. Yup. No manual labor. 

Kneeling down in front of the shelving where a I had peach crates filled with all my piano music and sheets. it's been awhile since I’ve played some Nocturnes. No actually we need something a little more jolly this morning to help me get the right push to start the morning. 

Well forget the nocturne because I’ve found the winner! Pulling out one old one I haven’t played in a while as I sat down on the bunch then cracked my fingers and warmed up my wrist. Today is a little Chopin and it’s Raindrop Prelude. Taking in a deep breath to then slowly release it as I started to play. 

Mama Seymour taught me everything I needed to know on the piano. The chords, keys, which pedal went with each type of song. She always talked about how playing the piano is the only true form of expression because it can never be misinterpreted like paintings. Though I know that people try to take apart songs all the time because we always wanna know the truth behind the notes. She might have a few wires loose but I owe that woman almost everything in my life. 

The world seemed to always just kind of fly off whenever I sit in front of the keys. My body now fully relaxed as I was reaching over halfway of the song when I heard the gate opening. I got the feeling I really made him uncomfortable and out of his mind yesterday, So me staying inside today may be in his best interest. 

I kept going with my foot pushing down on the far right pedal to allow the song to echo throughout the entire house. Angus came walking into the room and laid down right next to the piano as he fell right back asleep. 

The last chord echoed through the house as I turned myself around on the bench to step over Angus. Should probably see what bills or junk mail I got from Gard. When I opened the door Gard was standing under the porch from the rain. 

“Gard? What are you doing?” I asked him as it was pouring. 

“I’m sorry. I heard you playing and I wanted to stay till the end.” He was completely soaked from head to toe as I opened the door for him to come in. 

“I should get back to work.” He was about to walk off but I cleared my throat. 

“If you keep walking nonstop you’re gonna get sick.” 

“You actually don’t get sick from walking in the rain, Cora. Besides..rain or shine...” He stopped talking due to the face I had my eyebrow raised at him. I moved out of the way as he came inside of the house. 

“Let me get you a towel Gard.” I walked into the bathroom as I came back out with a fluffy towel. Gard dropped his bag and wrapped the towel around himself. 

“Take off your shoes and socks so they can dry. Nothing is worse than wet feet in wet shoes.” I pointed over to the floor. He placed his mail bag next to the door then sat down to take off his shoes. 

Gard finished taking off his shoes and I reached out for his wet socks. Relax when you live with about ten to twenty kids in your life you kind of get used to the smell of socks and other pieces of clothing. 

“I’ll throw them in the dryer. Feel free to go into the pantry.” 

*Gards P.O.V.*

Why is she so nice? What person is this nice to their mail carrier? Does she like me? I think I’m starting to like her. She’s this sweet fun woman who's now drying my socks off from the rain. Should probably go thank her for being so nice to me. 

Angus walked over to be then sat between my legs as he was waiting for me to scratch behind his ears. As I got started he had his tongue sticking out and his eyes shut tight enjoying the scratches. Till he got tired and fell asleep right in the hall. 

I got up from the floor as I walked into the room where she was playing the piano to look around a little. It was a piano that was sort of red and had music sheets all over the place. There were little cubbies that had music books, sheets, and folders strung all over the place. On the other side of the wall was piles of peach crates filled with records. We're talking Elton John, Puccini, Queen, Bowie, Glenn Miller, The Drifters, and all kinds of different records. Like there was no specific pattern or anything in them. 

“You can look at them. They’re not going to bite.” She told me as she sat down in front of one of the crates. Sitting back down next to her as I was looking into one of the crates. 

“Do you have a favorite artist?” I asked Cora as she watched me going through her records. 

“Not say I have a select favorite. For rock I’d say Queen. For Disco obviously Earth, Wind and Fire. Dean Martin is always good and of course Benny Goodman also is fantastic. But of course The Temptations are amazing. I could go on for hours about it Gard. It’s just depending on my mood.” I nodded as I placed the peach crate back into the cubby as she got up towards the piano. 

“But I’d rather play in all honesty.” Cora ran her light and ran across the piano keys as I got up to stand next to her. 

“What was the one you were playing when I delivered your mail?” 

“Raindrop Prelude by Chopin. But it’s not my favorite to be honest with you Gard. If you’d like I can play something for ya.” She masked me as I sat down on the bench. I’m not a huge music person in any form of way. But I find listening to her playing the piano relaxing and something I would enjoy listening to time and time again. Even taking a few minutes out of the route to listen to every other day or so. 

“It’s Nocturno No2 op 62. It was my first piece I did for a solo concert in college but it’s just so beautiful. Scootch.” She sat down next to me as she was going through her folders of music.

“You’re gonna have to show me your hobbies and house eventually. Doesn’t make much sense if you’re constantly coming over and I know almost nothing about your hobbies.” She stated as my eyes widened a little bit. She placed the music on her stand as I tried to get a sense of what was written on it. 

Would she be interested in my stamps? What person would enjoy someone talking about their stamps? Any normal person would be bored out of their minds with someone's stamp. But..if she’s inviting me into her room, offering food to me and drying my own socks from the rain. This isn’t a normal situation...and I have no idea what I’m doing. 

Her playing was more beautiful than when she was sitting before me. She looked at the keys and how I looked at the sidewalk. Completely hypnotized in playing and in her own world. It was beautiful and so peaceful. My eyes went from her fingers to watch how lightly she played the keys to her body sort of swaying with her own beat to the music. She stopped playing as she looked over to the window where two birds were sitting on the window chirping to one another. 

“Guess I’m freakin Cinderella now Gard.” Laughing a little as we looked at each other for a brief moment. I should get going anyhow. I know I’m already late and being here for a few minutes is now putting me way behind. 

“I should umm..get going and finish my route.” I told Cora for her smile to sort of wither away till she nodded. 

“Yeah totally. You’re at work and I shouldn’t have basically thrown myself at you. Give me a second to grab your socks.” Cora popped off the bench to speed walk down the stairs. I placed the towel on the ground as she came back up with my somewhat dryer socks. 

Slipping on my socks and shoes to then grab my mailbag from the floor. Opening the door and standing on her porch as the rain was beginning to slow down a little. When I was about to take a step off the porch, Angus was whimpering behind me. 

“You don’t have to say bye to me. But you know Angus needs a goodbye.” The slobbering dog was standing right next to her as I opened the screen to scratch the top of Angus head. Her hand had an apple for her to wait for me to take it. 

“Thank you Cora. I’ll see you tomorrow?” I asked her as she smiled again..it’s..it’s such a pretty smile. I turned around to start walking. 

“Your place?” Halting as I turned around. 

“Ummm. I would...umm.” 

“It’s alright. My door is always open Gard. See ya later Mr. Mailman!” She waved as her and Angus shut the door. 

I wanna see her again tomorrow...maybe the next day?

taglist

@bonafiderocketqueen​ @filmslutt​ @leah-halliwell92​ @johndeaconshands​ @amethyst-serenade​ @soy-guey​ @jd-johndeacon-or-jackdaniels​ @queen-turtle-boiii​ @mercury-wife​ @deck-heart​ @themficsilike​ @deakydeacs​ @mirkwoodshewolf​ @supersonicfreddie​ @yourlocalmusicalprostitute​

[friendlyneighborhooddolan]

Mind the moon: epilogue

warnings: This story is very descriptive. Other trigger warnings are: sexual and graphic scenes, death, religion talk, descriptions of murder, alcoholism, and binge food eating.

pairing: Grayson Dolan x reader

summary: in the first two years after his girlfriend died, Grayson became a wreck, and maybe he will get himself fixed up, and maybe he won’t. Two years later, he meets Y/N.

Masterlist

EPILOGUE

And the place on his neck The place where my hands Fall when I hug him.

Details, I fell in love with details.

 “Tell me something,” he spoke out, and she held her phone somewhat tighter, the white of her fingers showing.

“Tell you what?”

“Something you were always afraid of saying, Y/N,” he whispered out.

“If I could describe fear, it would be my mother smelling weed on my breath when I was sixteen,” she answered, knowing very well that wasn’t the answer to his question.

“Now you’re just dodging my question, petal.” She heard shuffling coming from his side.

“I- What?” she pretended.

She could hear his smile. His million-dollar grin and she could hear his short breath being blown out and at that moment she thought she wanted to see him.

“Hey, Gray?”

“Yes, love?”

“Tell me yours.”

He kept quiet for a moment.

(He almost said, “My past is an armor I cannot take off, no matter how many times you tell me the war is over.”

And she’d say: “Unclench your fingers, my lover, the war is over now.”

“I’ve forgotten how to uncurl my fingers from the trigger,” he’d say and shift to lie on his back.

“Be gentle my lover, the war is over now,” she’d answer, her hand unclenching from her own thigh.

“I don’t remember what’s it like to not have gunsteel in my bones.”

“Sleep, my lover, war is over now,” she’d try again.

“The war follows me into sleep, I’m afraid I’ll never leave it behind.”

She’d give up, and she’d tell him about her parents’ ways of coping with pain, and that would calm him enough to put him to sleep.)

“I’m afraid of losing people I really care for,” he sighed out, a little yawn creeping up on him.

“That’s nice. Look, Gray, it’s getting late and we should probably sleep before we both end up saying things we don’t mean,” Y/N spoke out, and by things we don’t mean, she’d say that she loves him, even if she knew it was the truth.

“What’s your fear, bub?” He asked.

“I’m afraid of the dark. Goodnight, Gray.” She almost said those three words, because, honestly – she was afraid of loving him.

He promised he won’t fall in love and yet, it was 4 in the morning and he was smiling because at least he could protect her from her fear. He’d command the moon to protect Y/N while he wasn’t there. He’d make the sun to always show himself. He’d ask the whole starry heavens not to stop shining until the last supernova burns out.

And she won’t be afraid of his fears. He’d tell her about the time he howled at love like a wolf howls at the moon. He warns her at the darkness of his heart and she stays.

She stays, and she swallows his shadows whole.

Scientists are still looking for perfect stillness. They haven’t heard of silence of his demons when she’s with him. This is love our mothers talked about: She’s listening to his steady heartbeat. Birds in her blood stop mid-flight when they hear his breaths. When she thinks about him, a war ends.

“Good night, Y/N.”

 STARS ARE BORN FROM CHAOS, a simple note she stuck on his windshield. He smiled, turning around, and a soft yell: “Ethan!”

His brother came running, thinking something happened, and when Grayson showed him the note, he shrugged. “Dunno. I think that’s Y/N’s handwriting, though.”

When Grayson smiled, staring at the note and his face reddening up by the second, Ethan shook his head.

“Whipped. You’re so whipped.” He smacked the back of his head.

“Dude! What was that for?” Grayson ran after his screaming brother, wanting revenge, and for the first time in years, he felt as if the old him was back. As if he was back to his old ways, before everything bad happened. He was just a kid.

But honestly, when you ask Grayson to describe fear, he would say his mother smelling vodka and cigarettes on his breath at 17. He says loss is trauma stealing an entire month from his memories. Superheroes always have tragic backstories and broken hearts, so maybe he’s doing okay. In his dreams people are brave enough not to leap from tall buildings (but they are brave enough to live), to see through walls and also never lie to each other.

 “Are you happy?” he asks her through a cup of warm coffee, wrapped up in his hands like a dying star.

“I hope so,” she answers, exhaling herself in his shoulder. She’s pressing against him the way he pressed flowers against the pages of his book when he was gone. It feels like the start of forever. He wants to touch her until his palms burn.

“What do you want in life, G?” She’s tracing constellations in his palms, softly looking at the movie that’s playing on the TV.

“I want – nevermind what I want. What do you want, petal?”

“You,” the answer will always be him. She’ll always love and want and have him.

“You want me?”

She laughed at his bewildered expression.

“That’s what I’m saying.”

He paused for a moment, and stuttered, his lips parted.

“But what did I do?”

 “I don’t know,” she shrugged, “I just think we’d be a good us.”

He smiled widely, “We’d be a wonderful us.”

A kiss placed itself on her forehead.

 It’s somewhat early and he’s asleep. It doesn’t bother her because she knows there’s been times he’s laid awake at night unable to find sleep, no longer familiar with what it means to find rest. The moment he pressed up against her, his head against her shoulders. She ran her fingers through his hair and his body loosened, symbolic for how lax he’d become. Even when he feels so chaotic, he comes to her and she helps him find peace. This is love.

She wasn’t the first person he ever loved, and he wasn’t the first person she saw and told a mouthful of forevers. Both of them knew of loss that hurt like a sharpened knife. Both of them are still living with lips that have more scars than skin. Their love came, uninvited, in the middle of nothing. It came when they gave up on searching for it, and it’s all part of a miracle.

This is how they heal: She kisses him like he’s forgiveness. He holds her like she’s hope. Their wounds are healing and there are pressed promises between them, looking like flowers in a book. She’s going to write sonnets of his salty skin. She’s going to be writing stories about a scar on his chin. She’d write dictionaries of words she used to describe the feeling of having him.

And when Grayson wakes, it’s late, and Y/N isn’t there, but a note is, a thing they do now.

And he felt as if Y/N was happiness, and as if happiness turned to him and said, “It’s time. It’s time to forgive yourself for all of the things you didn’t become. It is time, love, to accept that you do not have to be who you were a year ago, that you don’t want same things. Above all else, it is time – time to believe with reckless abandon that you are worthy of me, for I have been waiting for years.”

[robronanniversarycelebration]

Killjoys

Shamelessly stealing the title from the show. 4.8k of silliness. Spoiler: Robron love each other.

For the stunning, amazing, friendly yet sleepy Mally Mal, @robertisbisexual. I hope you enjoy the pilot episode of Robron IN SPACE!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Aaron’s biggest reward was resting on this moron’s inability to hide away even though he has several planets and moons that would be a better choice than the most populated one. Aaron is thankful though because he can cash in on the warrant because Eureka Maru was getting old and rusty and she was barely functioning. He thought to himself, eyes up, hand to gun, and in the dirty bar overrun with aliens of the lowest walks of the moons. Aaron looked around, he was feeling a bit nervous. No sign of any person of interest. There was loud screaming coming from the people gathered around a cage where some sort of boxing match was happening.

He decided to stay at the back of the crowd watching, waiting for something to happen and for his mark to come in. All of a sudden, the crowd parts and he can see on the other side of the boxing cage and he sees a familiar face. A face staring him right in the eye, like he was sitting there just waiting for the perfect moment to make his presence known in the most dramatic fashion he could conceive. Aaron hated him, his Killjoy nemesis, the one who was always one step ahead of him, one minute earlier than him, Robert. Tall, blonde, as far as Aaron was concerned Robert had sex with half of the planetary system and he was planning to get through the other half. Aaron’s thinking was that the warrant is everything. Nothing else mattered to him and Robert was only an unfortunate obstacle that he would have to get over. At least he knew that his rival was there and he had to get to the target before anyone else.

Robert smiled from across the cage as two men were punching each other, as Aaron stared him right in the eye, then he moved to the right and Aaron followed the same direction of movement when all of a sudden commotion happened and he saw someone running away just as Robert himself started running.

“Tenlio! Stop running!” Aaron yelled as he tried to push drunken people out of his way but he lost visual contact with his target. He tried looking for Robert’s big blonde head but he couldn’t see him either. He decided to still make a run for it in the same direction and as he was pushing through the crowd, he noticed that Robert was grabbed by a group of very strong built nefarious characters. He stopped for a second, and then he thought that nefarious attracts nefarious and followed the same direction.

It led him out of the bar, somewhere in a street with random people. He went in the middle of the street and saw Tenlio running away, so he followed suit yelling after him and pulling out his gun in nonkill mode. As he was running he saw Robert being punched into a small vehicle. Aaron stopped in his tracks and looked. Robert was hunched down, beaten, not looking around him. He was looking dark and scared which for one second made Aaron dark and scared. But he switched focus back on his target because the warrant is everything.

As he was running after Tenlio he felt his feet slow down, his entire body becoming heavier with each step he took, his breath was unwilling to cooperate and his eyes were curious about what was happening in a corner, rather than following Tenlio.

“Goddamn it. GODDAMN IT!” Aaron shouted to himself as he turned around and made a sprint towards where Robert was being shoved into the vehicle.

“I’m regretting this move already”, Aaron said to himself again as he was running in the opposite direction of his warrant. One of the most prolific killjoys in the galaxy and he was leaving his target to runaway. He knew in that second that he will be mocked for it, but truly the reason why he was so competent at what he was doing was because he had Robert as competition.

Robert’s brother had mysteriously disappeared after having been accused of crimes that weren’t ever truly specified. Robert’s father has poured all his energy and money into trying to find his other kid, leaving Robert to live a life of thieves. He mostly raised himself from his teenage years, wandering through bars, picking fights, ending them on the ground. But mostly he listened. He listened to people and then talked to them back with a charm that cannot be matched and he would obtain absolutely any kind of information he wanted. The day he was approved to become a killjoy, Robert solved 3 warrants. He was smart, on his feet and willing to do whatever it took. It kept Aaron on his toes all the time because he was competition. They would often pick the same target, because they wanted to measure against each other.

Many times they have shook hands and decided to work together on catching a target. Many times they have talked over some drinks, or in the same tight spot while doing surveillance, many times Aaron never felt that snakey charm taking over him. Robert never acted like that with Aaron even though he would have multiple reasons to sneak out information from his rival Killjoy. Surely, there have been one conflict or two. A push and shove against a wall. Hot breath against hot breath, brushed fingers against skin by accident.

This is why Aaron couldn’t leave Robert in the hands of those people, whoever they were. Maybe they were enemies, maybe they were the family of someone he’s turned in for a warrant. However, that decision that Aaron has made was that he was about to save his nemesis, just because having a bit of competition made him better at finding people.

Many hours later, he found the place where Robert was kept. The security was laughable at best, all he had to do was immobilize a guard and steal their coat, nothing more, nothing less. He followed the voices that were coming through a dimly lit hallway.

“So, tell us where he is and you can go free, promise”.

“Look, you tell me where that moron is and I’ll finish the job myself”, Robert jabbed back and Aaron decided to follow his voice. He tried to tune in to his breathing from that line, he had hoped he could pick up inflexions in his voice. However all he did manage to pick up was a groan of pain as the sound of knuckles hitting a jaw bone have reverberated through every fibre of Aaron’s muscles. He tensed up again, but he didn’t lose his cool. He had a plan, and he would stick to that plan, besides Robert can take a punch.

“You, Killjoy, tell me that you cannot find your own brother? How do you still have a job?”

“Well, even my skills aren’t good enough to track down someone with his training. What am I going to do? Look through every snake hole in the universe? Besides, he can die for all I care, he’s not my brother”. Aaron believed him, he knew Robert harboured this deep dislike for Andy, who could not ever be wrong. Even as he was suspected of murder, Andy was still loved by their father. Robert was left alone to mend for himself because the family needed Andy to come back. Robert told this to Aaron some months ago over too many beers. Aaron’s heart broke and that’s when he grabbed Robert and hugged him. And he did it back. Aaron knew when Robert was being honest and this was one of those moments. The bad guys, whoever they were, had a different opinion on the truthfulness of their prisoner.

“I have reasons to believe you’re a liar, Sugden. You’ve stole, cheated, lied and slept your way through half of the galaxy. How can I believe the words of a renegade Killjoy?”

“You don’t believe anything then.” Aaron marched in there confident. “I’ll take it from here. Would you rather leave or stand back and watch as I make this one talk?”

Aaron didn’t plan further than impersonating a guard. He looked around panicked because he had no idea where to move from this point on, and he could clearly see some relief in Robert’s eyes and at the same time he could see a little bit of anger. Aaron then spotted next to Robert a case of torturing instruments. He moved towards that direction while rolling his sleeves up.

“Well, I reckon words will flow out of your mouth easier if it weren’t for all those teeth acting as a barrier..” Aaron said to Robert while gesturing desperately from his eyebrows. Robert’s expression has turned to full annoyance

“Sure, because that’s how speaking works”.

Aaron didn’t understand what was happening to Robert and he took a second more before pulling out his gun, not set on kill mind, and emptying the room.

“What have you done, you idiot!” Robert yelled from his tiny little chair. He was beaten, bruised, bloodied and even though, it was quite clear that the anger he was spitting out was directed at him, Aaron was fantasizing about dressing his wounds.

“I was working, this moron was giving me everything.”

“He was giving you everything he had in his knuckles, yes. I have noticed and yes, you’re welcome Robert. Now sit still so that I can untie you.”

“I don’t want to be untied, I want that dude awake because I know he knows my brother’s last whereabouts.”

“You know what? Fine.” Aaron dropped the knife he was cutting the rope around Robert’s hands and turned his back and walked away.

“Wait!!! Don’t leave me here!”

Aaron kept walking.

“Fine!! Ok, i’m sorry, I should have had a go at you. Please untie me?”

Aaron stopped, turned around and picked up the knife from the floor. Although he wasn’t looking at Robert he knew that the jerk was smirking. He could feel that smug smirk, Aaron swore that the temperature in any room would go up two degrees whenever Robert does that.

“That’s a phrase I’ve never said before. It’s usually the reverse” Robert said to Aaron as he leaned towards him. Aaron felt it, and moved back up. “Come on, we don’t have a lot of time. Where’s your ship?”

“My what?”

“Your ship? The thing you travelled here on?”

“Oh”, Robert rubbed the back of his head while looking at Aaon and smiling cheekily. “I don’t have a ship anymore. I came to this godforsaken moon with someone. Uhm.. he was kind enough to drop me off on here while he.. Uhm… carried out his journey to another moon. Actually, I was kind of hoping to find you here working this warrant. It’s the only reason I took it. I knew I was being followed, and I knew that you would be here in case I needed help. So I decided to take the same warrant as you, hitch a ride here, and then keep you close enough so we could… do this.”

Aaron couldn’t believe what he just heard. He was manipulated in the worst way possible, not only did Robert know exaclty what he was going to do, he also assumed that he would care enough to go on a dumb rescue mission and neglect the warrant. He was frustrated, angry, hateful and impressed at the same time, but he didn’t want to let Robert know he felt anything, so he kept his cool front and replied with “OK, loverboy, let’s get that warrant. Regardless of your plans, it’s not a good look on either of us to allow a target escape like that.

Robert showed one of his few genuine smiles, filled with sincere joy. He sprung up from the chair where he was held hostage and he felt his bones hurt and let out an involuntary “ow!”. Aaron made a joke about him getting too old for this business and Robert poked his side triggering the lesser known and very well hidden, Aaron’s ticklish side.

As they were chuckling and crossing the hall together more footsteps echoed. Robert put a hand on Aaron’s chest and told him to stay back, putting his much taller, leaner, wider body in front of Aaron as if he was being shielded by this offensively good looking man.

“Wait what?” Aaron shook himself awake.

“I said wait here, behind me. They’re gone now, we can leave this place” Robert replied and Aaron thanked all the moons that he managed to avoid that awkward moment. He entertained for a second the idea that Robert could have a different interest in him rather than just some good old competition. He smiled and he shook his head at himself.

“Move faster, Sugden, we don’t have all day to drag your old bones through dodgy hallways.”

Robert smiled at him again, and Aaron swore that the hallway was all of a sudden brighter. And it actually was, because they were outside where this flickering street light was trying to do its best at a corner of an empty street.

“Right, so where’s Eureka Maru?! Let’s go!” Robert started pacing across the street and Aaron stood there until Robert realized he wasn’t followed.

“Erm.. it’s.. Resting. She’s broken and I can’t fix her because she needs this part, that is kind of hard to get so.. I.. I don’t have one, no.”

Robert stood under the flickering light and if one were to choose to see the humour in this situation would be that the flickering light was nothing but a metaphor of Robert’s mind trying to work out the information that they have no means of escape from the compound of these people who they have royally pissed off and who were most likely to come after both of them, to kill them in a few minutes.

“OK, OK, it’s alright, I can fix this” Robert started muttering while walking into circles like a scared animal.

“I know a solution. Mine’s 2hr walk from here, where’s yours?”

“Back, but In the basement.”

They were walking through complete and utter darkness. Aaron couldn’t see an inch in front of him.

“Aaron, I know I usually follow you because warrants and stuff, but please know that this will be the last time I follow you anywhere.”

“Shut up and stop complaining. We need to get out of here. We need a ship, their ship is in here, we’re stealing” Aaron said in a firm tone of voice as he moved his hand around until he found Robert’s.

“Hold on tight. We’re getting out of here” and he held Robert’s hand as tight as he could, with a force that could not be broken by the strongest winds. And Robert squeezed back. They’ve put their confidence of survival into each other. Aaron, the one who was always supposedly one step behind was leading Robert to freedom. Robert, the control freak, the one who needed to have all the cards dealt before he could make a move, he let himself guided by this yelly and grumpy Killjoy.

In the hangar where the ship was parked light came back to them and they stood and watched it. Hand in hand until Aaron got excited and sprinted to the ship. He looked back at a frozen in place Robert who had this warm expression on his face. Aaron marched to the ship and he heard Robert’s footsteps behind him.

They climbed in the ship, Aaron made it start immediately under Robert’s admiring eyes.

“Are you ready to do this?” Aaron asked even though he knew the answer.

“Yeah.” Robert replied softly.

And off they went. Aaron was hoping he would be able to put the ship outside of the atmosphere and outside of the defense sensors. In spite of all the story start to finish, he was having a good day.

“So, are we going to chase Tenlio, or… do you have someplace you might want to check out” Aaron tried to make a suggestion to Robert.

“Tenlio is too stupid to be the one warrant that should claim that they’ve escaped the Sugden - Dingle duo. So after him we go.” Aaron tried to say something, but Robert cut him off “I know what you’re about to say, and no, I don’t want to, and yes I am sure. I don’t know where he is. So we keep ahead of course.”

“Alright. Our job it is then.” Aaron looked at Robert with a softness in his eyes that he didn’t know he had. Robert had this deep stare. Fixed and intense. Determined. “What’s happening?”

“Nothing” Robert shook his head and got up from the seat near the left side panel of controls of this ship. “Do you know the name of this ship?”

“No. Why would I? What does it matter, it’s just a loan”

“Do you really want to go back to that moon?”

“Of course not, but I know these things are worth a lot in scrap value. Spare parts are a good commodity to negotiate with around these moons.” Aaron replied but he wasn’t really in the mood for this conversation.

“Yeah, well, you shouldn’t negotiate with idiots”

“Oh that is long done and dusted since I’ve met you”

“When did you meet me? Where did you see me for the first time?”

Robert started leaning his tall body against the wall that would lead to the sleeping rooms downstairs.

Aaron didn’t even have to think about that moment. He remembered that day as if it were yesterday, the memory of seeing Robert for the first time would be etched into his eyelids forever. He was just getting his badge from the receptionist at the RAC and he was making googly eyes at everything that was moving. They locked eyes for a nanosecond and Aaron’s felt that deep burn inside of him since then. He needed to know things about Robert since then.

How does he go about his day, how long does he sleep, what does he eat, where does he come from.

When he used his RAC accredited search prowess, Aaron couldn’t find any information on Robert. There were loads of stuff about his family, his hero brother, his hero father, his beloved and late mother. But nothing about Robert specifically as a person. Just some silly paperwork, but it was as if he had nothing special about him, as if he had only existed inside his little norms. On paper, Robert was unremarkable. In person, Robert was a volcano.

“I know how I met you”. I was drinking at the bar on the furthest moon and you walked in, waved your credentials and gun and caught this guy and you got money. I wanted to be like you. Walk in anywhere, free of the stigma, free of the family name. So i went and gave it up when I signed on. I had hoped that we could become partners but then I learnt that the majority of the Killjoys were going about it alone. But I didn’t want to do that, so I had to find you.”

Aaron froze on the spot as Robert was being more honest than ever with his words, his voice changed, his entire body language was trying to be silenced by the brain. “Well, you should have said something”.

“I’m saying it now.” And Robert just moved in and he grabbed his face and he kissed Aaron so hard that Aaron almost melted in a puddle at Robert’s feet. But he caught up fast as the shock of the first two seconds had washed off and he started pulling at Robert’s jacket. Robert started pulling at his hoodie’s zipper and immediately jammed his hands underneath Aaron’s tshirt. Aaron felt his hands like something his skin didn’t know it needed. Aaron felt Robert’s touch with every second passing the more intense, the more sure, like his hands were made to touch him.

His tshirt flies away and a hand is taken away from his skin, only to be met with his belt buckle as it was dragging it downstairs towards the sleeping chambers.

They stumbled on each other, Robert’s head got stuck in his shirt, Aaron has hit his elbow as he was trying to shove off his trousers. They were clumsy but they were doing it together. Each second when Aaron didn’t have Robert’s lips and tongue on his, those were wasted seconds. If only he could have accepted to himself earlier that the reason why he was so infatuated with Robert and his loud and obnoxious stories was because he thought that he was painfully unavailable. Robert on the other hand was just trying to be obviously available. They only needed the better part of a year, light kidnapping and theft of a spaceship in order to give in to the attraction.

That hunger they both felt as they were undressing and the state of contempt and calm Aaron was experiencing in the moments when Robert was in between his legs. No one else has fit that way, no one else has felt that way and no one else has touched him that way. He needed it so bad, he grabbed Robert’s shoulders and dug his fingers into his skin, receiving an approving moan back from Robert.

Neither of them realize how long it has been, or what was happening on the screens because they have been intelligent enough to disable the ship’s AI.

As they sat in bed super satisfied, peaceful and calm, Robert was holding Aaron who was facing the opposite way. Every inch of his skin was covered by every inch of Robert’s skin. They were tangled with legs, arms, fingers and purpose.

“You know, I heard that Killjoys that are couples have a better success rate in closing warrants”.

“Did ya really?” Laughter came out with that reply from Aaron’s mouth. Truth is he was feeling happy. He didn’t quite understand why this feeling was so closely tied to Robert. He’s had a plethora of men suitors, but none of them has ever felt like Robert did then.

He was laying on his side, fingers tangled with Robert’s. He was peaceful and he closed his eyes and fell asleep against an already sleeping Robert.

Nothing to wake him up like a good healthy jog of the ship. Robert however was having none of that and he looked just as calm and perfectly asleep as before.

“Robert, wake up!” Aaron shook him with his entire body, and he jolted a bit.

“Yeah I’m awake, what happened where’s the rush?” Robert attempted to make an effort as he was clearly only half conscious.

“We’re being boarded you idiot, quick, wake up, please wake up and grab your gun”

“We’re being wh.. OH!” and that was the exact moment when Robert’s brain decided to produce some cooperation. They both simultaneously jump from the bed and look for their guns in the pile of clothes on the floor and Aaron can’t find his. “Well, where did you put it?!!” Robert looked at him with giant panicking eyes.

“Well, I don’t know Robert, I was so careful and meticulous with how I undressed before my slumber last night.” Aaron mocked him and he saw that Robert enjoyed it.

“Dingle, you’re meticulous alright but in other areas of activities” and Aaron felt Robert’s eyes on his body, measuring him up and down. Too bad this flirting was rudely interrupted by the door of the chambers being knocked down, Aaron jumped behind Robert’s back as Robert began to fire his gun and then lunge very naked at the people trying to fight them.

As Robert was trying to keep them at a distance, two other men came storming in and Aaron went on hand-to-hand combat in which he had a slight disadvantage with him being naked and all. Robert paused for a second to admire Aaron’s naked fighting skills.

By some miracle they manage escaping the first wave of attackers. Without thinking twice or even showing a remote to stop to get dressed even a little bit, they advanced in the halls. The ship’s emergency systems weren’t activated either which was an inconvenience, but at least they can put this chapter to the lessons learnt section.

“I hope some other dude comes at you trying to best you in combat. I like to see you fighting” Robert told Aaron and he rolled his eyes in reply. They kept advancing along the halls of the ship, in complete silence. Aaron’s focus isn’t fully on their escape from the stolen ship. He likes to occasionally take a glance at Robert, and once he caught Robert doing the same thing.

“OK, this is serious now. We have to focus and decide how we’re gonna get out of this mess” Aaron tells Robert.

“Well, finding something to wear is high on my list. And I think we can take on these guys. How many can they be? 10-15? We just took out 4 of them with barely any problems. We’ll be fine, Aaron, trust me” Robert said before he gave Aaron a quick kiss on the top of his head and also before a voice came from behind.

“Well, I’ve seen a lot more things than I was planning on seeing today, so let’s cut this short, shall we? You tell me where the other Sugden brother is and then I will kill you quickly, I promise no pain. Never had any complaints so far, so you can trust me.”

It was the same man that was interrogating Robert when Aaron came in and fooled him into taking a step back. They turned around and were facing him.

“I don’t know where he is, and I am not interested in finding him. The further away he is from me, the better. And for the record, he’s not my brother, so you can stop using that word.” Robert spat back. Aaron knew that this attitude would get them in trouble, and he tried to motion with his head and eyes that he should probably stop being like that, considering their present circumstances.

“Right, sure. I believe you. And to show you a token of my belief you will have the privilege of coming with me.” he turned around and gestured to his goons to take them away as well. However, when one of them tried to grab Aaron’s arm, he started fighting back, disarmed the guard and immobilised 4 of them in a few seconds. Before Robert could understand what was happening, Aaron had his gun pointed towards the interrogation man.

“Yeah, I don’t fancy going back to that moon, ta.” and he shot him, neutralising but not killing him. “Alright, so I think these were all. I think they need sending back home, don’t you?”

Robert was standing there stunned, in full admiration and disbelief that Aaron would do anything for him.

“Yeah, let’s send these suckers back to where they came from.” and they started dragging their currently neutralised bodies back to their ship. While Robert was carrying out the last few, Aaron rigged the autopilot to send them to the furthest moon in the Quad system.

“There. Gone.” Aaron said as they watched the small ship pulling away and flying off into the dark void. Robert turned around, crooked smile on his face, and kissed him. Hard and decidedly. “You know, we did all this while naked and basically unarmed. Imagine what we can do when we are armed and clothed.”

“Well, I don’t plan on putting on clothes anytime soon.” Aaron got up and took Robert’s hand into his, leading him back to their chambers. He didn’t look back, he knew Robert would follow with that dumb look on his face, but unexpectedly he felt Robert stop. “What’s wrong?” Aaron turned around to find Robert staring wide eyed and basically frozen at a piece of paper on the ship’s floor. Aaron examined the paper closely, and he saw that it was from an old book. He hasn’t seen one of those in a long time, and next to it, there were some words scribbled by hand. Aaron never learned how to read old human handwriting and he asked Robert what was it.

“That’s 1984. That’s…” he took a small breath and paused a little before finishing what he had to say. “That’s my mother Sarah’s favourite book. She was reading this for the millionth time right before she died. I think this is a message from Andy, to me. This is why they thought that I knew where he was!”

Aaron was stunned and kneeled on the floor next to Robert whose hands were trembling as he was holding onto that piece of paper. Then he looked up at Aaron, eyes shining and shallow and quick breaths. “Will you.. Help me?” he asked as his hand reached for Aaron’s arm.

“ ‘course I will. We’ll do this, together. We’ll find Andy.”

[fakesurprise]

One Evening, and What Followed After

I spotted the lights on in the fourth floor window of the apartment half a black from the building. And as simple as that, everything shifted. The building. An apartment. No longer the place I’d lived in for over two years. I didn’t break stride as I walked, hands still deep within my pockets. It could be nothing, but no one survives on could be. I walked past the building and halfway down the block. The moon was a faint sliver in a clouded sky, the air heavy with the promise of snow. It was the quiet and dark of an early November as I moved into one narrow street and down a side alley. Rats behind garabage moving away. The impressions left by a homeless man sleeping in a doorway. Faint sounds of TVs from open windows. I heard both ER and Roseanne playing through closed windows nearby. The neighbourhood was small apartments and quiet houses. No sirens within a four block radius.

Everything was as quiet and boring as I preferred.

I took a deep breath, double checked that no one was following or watching me, and a moment later drifted up into the darkness and through the air to the apartment. Everything is diffused when one is a mist: vision becomes hazy, smell and taste almost the same thing. Hearing remains, though my range is diminished; I could improve it all had I not brought my clothing with me, but that was far less wise.

I had a small stash in a tree trunk outside town, enough for a few months in another city. With the funds in the apartment it was enough for a new ID as well. Without it, I would be stuck being Wilbur Tanner. Not a name I liked, but if I’d learned anything since the change it was to pick names close to my deadname. If I had died at all.

I shoved all the thoughts borne of worry aside and slipped in through the opened crack in the bathroom window. The apartment was not large. Small kitchen, bathroom, a living area with couch and bed, one single dresser, a tiny closet. It was clean and quiet, on the top floor of the building and if I had to I could go right through the walls to get into the hallway.

You learn to consider such options when you haven’t aged since 1982.

I enter slowly, diffusing more until I would be barely visible as a haze in the air near the ceiling.

Four people. Two male, two female. And one dog.

The dog growls, barely loud enough for people to hear him.

Only cats are comfortable around me.

“See? We’re fine,” one of the woman says as I move into the living area. “I can’t believe you convinced us to break into his home, Sh –.”

“Norville.” One of the men, his voice flat and hard.

“Norville. Look. Fred brought his dog, followed that sweater from the club. Confirmed it was this apartment.” She is smoking, waving the cigarette like a conductor, nails gleaming with a manicure more expensive than my rent.

The one called Norville is in the kitchen. “I said there is something off about him. Look at this kitchen. The fridge has food, but the oven is spotless and almost no dish even used!”

“Dude.” The other man is holding the growling dog without a hint of authority. Short, chubby and worried. “We broke into his home. Wilbur might be odd, but this is breaking the law!”

“The place is clean enough for a serial killer,” the other woman says as she comes out of the kitchen. She is bored; some of that is Valium. Not as wealthy as the other woman, but she wishes she was. I suspect they’re cousins.

The one with the dog is named Thomas, not Fred. He’s clearly only here because he was promised food. The wealthy woman’s family own a few restaurants, and conversation fractures between them. All are tense, worried, listening for sounds in the hallway.

I could arrive outside my apartment, if they have no one watching. Could bluff them into leaving. Two men. Two women. One dog. None has a wooden stake, no hint of garlic to them.

I am being hunted by a quartet of idiots who watched too much Scooby Doo. It would be funny, except it never is.

And there is something off. Even as a mist, I feel the hairs on my non-existent neck rise.

The fourth one – Norville – comes out of the kitchen. Tall and thin, thick glasses balanced on his nose. He looks like a scrap of nothing, but he holds their attention, was able to draw them here.

The dog is growling at him. Not me.

I swear.

No one noticed, since mists don’t make sounds. The dog is briefly distracted by the wind.

Norville has influence, far more than his age and demanour suggest. He is wearing a thick leather jacket two sizes too large. Under it is a book. I can feel it, now than I’m trying to.

As thought it was hidden.

There are alien harmonics in the air.

Something is deeply wrong here, and I have no idea what it is.

“Vi, you folded his sweater and put it back into his dresser,” the chubby guy says.

The rich woman gives him a stare. “I do know how to fold laundry. It is best we leave.”

But even so, she waits on Norville. They all do.

I have no idea what the book is. Or what it does.

I leave, out the window and to another alley. Reform.

I don’t feel the cold. I haven’t since June 11th, 1982. But my hands are shaking as I look down at him, and for once I imagine I must look as pale as people think vampires do.

Is four people a coven? Is this magic? Is magic actually real?

I have no idea. And no one to ask. I start walking. My fault, for joining everyone from the factory at a club last night. Also for hunting earlier; I was too full of energy to kill four people at once, even if I was so inclined. I could kill them in mundane ways, but that book put even that solution from my head.

I knew I should go to the club, get information on them. Find out what they were, if possible.

But every instinct whispered for me to run, and I hurried out of the city before they became a scream.

I had wanted others like me to exist, maybe. But other weird things I had not considered at all.

Some days I thought I was all that. A decade a vampire, never caught.

Most days were like today, where I was amazed I was still alive.

I could stay. Confront Norvile. Ask more questions.

Instead i walk faster. Still seeming casual. Nor running. Someone out on a nighttime jaunt toward the edge of the city.

No one to pay attention to. No one important.

I ran, once it felt safe. Burned off energy drawn from people. Made myself hungry. Sharpened myself to being dangerous.

No one followed, or if they did they never found me.

It was almost two years later that I realized that Norville was the real name of Shaggy.

And it left me with even more questions, and less of a desire for answers.

Because for all the book did, they’d still made fun of him.

As if they knew something about him that he never knew.

I tried to tell myself it was a foolish idea, but it persisted like pinstripe clothing had. What if they did know nothing. What if they made him real, by accident? What if that could happen.

And what if I was somehow that as well?

Drugs don’t work on me like they do on humans.

I spent most of 1996 trying to invalidate that truth.