#dude. it ended so miserably sad and awful and everyone’s feelings are hurt and i’m never gonna see them reunited and happy

[navysealt4t]

stares into the camera <- just read an 80k fanfic that had the most gut wrenching, saddest cliffhanger ever . and i didn’t realize it’s unfinished with one chapter to go. last updated 2018

[waitimcomingtoo]

Where We Start Again - 7

Pairing: Peter Parker x Reader

Synopsis: how do you fake date someone you have real feelings for?

Series Masterlist and Regular Masterlist

Playlist by @tiny-friggin-human

“Peter! Y/n’s here!”

Peter gave himself one last look in the mirror and let out a nervous breath. He fixed his tie, put it back to its original position, and then fixed it again. He ran his fingers through his hair one final time and left his room.

Peters legs carried him to the front door where you stood next to May. He had already seen your dress, but it took his breath away nonetheless. Your hair was in lose curls that framed your face like the worlds prettiest painting. You looked away from May and made eye contact with Peter, giving him a fond smile.

“You look incredible.” Peter laughed shyly and gave you an awkward thumbs up. “You look like how poetry sounds. Like, you are the most beautiful stanza my life has written.”

“You don’t look so bad yourself.” You shot back. Peter stared at you in adoration until May cleared her throat.

“Oh, right.” He looked down the at corsage in his hands and held it out to you. “This is for you.”

You took the corsage from Peter and smiled gratefully. Through the plastic box, you could see a corsage of daises held together by a florescent wrist band.

“It’s um, daises…for my daisy.”

“I thought your name was Y/n?” May whispered in your ear.

“It is.” You told her. “It’s his nickname for me.”

“Aw.” She gushed and looked to Peter. “I love that. Okay, get together.”

You and Peter spent the next ten minutes in various poses while May snapped pictures. Peter could sense some distance between the two of you and he wondered if something was bothering you. Not wanting to ruin the dance for you, he didn’t bring it up.

“Okay, we’re going now May. Don’t wait up.” Peter kissed his aunts cheek before ushering you out the door.

“Are you ready?” Peter asked once you got in the elevator.

“How bad is this gonna mess up my hair?” You whined and smoothed your hair down.

“Baby girl, this is going to give you that beautiful, windswept look that all the girls will be jealous of.” Peter explained as you steppes off the elevator and onto tour roof.

“You know, most girls get a limo.” You pointed out.

“Yeah well,” Peter wrapped his arm around your waist and held you tightly, “most girls aren’t dating Spider-Man.”

You cracked a smile before you booth dove off the building and swung to prom.

~

Since neither you or Peter were big dancers, you took a seat on the bleachers and just talked while the rest of the class had fun. He could tell you were reserved tonight, not taking his hand or showing affection like you normally would. He figured it was probably since today was the last day of your fake relationship. That told him that it was just pretend for you, and you were through pretending. Anything MJ or Ned told him about you liking him back want true, and he just had to accept that.

A sadness began to sink into Peter as he realized this would be the last time he could call you his girlfriend or be with you in this way. It was taking away his ability to enjoy the dance and all he could do was hope you couldn’t tell.

“I’ll be right back. I just want to make sure the DJ got my updated playlist.” You squeezed Peters arm and got off the bleachers.

“I’ll be here.” He told you and you gave him a tight smile before leaving.

Once you were out of earshot, Peter let out a loud sigh. It was all too much. You looked too beautiful and he was going to miss you too much. Now that he had gotten everything he ever wanted, he felt listless and empty. Ned noticed his best friends glum face and brought him a cup of punch. Peter gratefully accepted the punch and scooted over something Ned could sit.

“Why do you look so miserable? You’re at the school dance with Y/n L/n.” Ned shook his arm anxiously. “This is our peak, Peter. It’s all downhill from here.”

“Because it all ends after tonight. She’s not gonna be my fake girlfriend anymore. We won’t have an excuse to hang out.” Peter mumbled as he dug his shoe into the floor.

“I thought we were gonna get the gross sandwich every year?” Ned reminded him.

“I doubt it. She’s gonna graduate and go off to do amazing things and forget all about me. And even if we do keep the tradition, that’s one day a year where I’ll have to listen to her talk about how everyone at college loves her because how could they not and I’ll just have to sit there and pretend I’m not in love with her.” Peter shrugged sadly. “She has the world at her fingertips, Ned. She’s gonna be over me by tomorrow and I’m gonna be crying in a bar on my 29th birthday party about how I let her get away while a Coldplay song plays.”

“Hauntingly specific.” Ned muttered.

“I lied to you.” Peter looked at him. “I knew what this was and I still got hurt.”

“Peter, don’t smile because it happened. Cry because it’s over.” Ned said sympathetically. Peter stared at him for a while and ultimately decided not to tell Ned that he messed up the saying.

“Hey, Peter.” Flash nodded at the boys as he approached them. “Hey Justin. Could you give us a minute?”

“Justin?” Ned whispered to himself before walking away. Flash patted him on the back and took a seat next to Peter.

“I think that’s the first time you ever called me by my real name.” Peter chuckled humorlessly as he watched you from across the gym.

“Your girlfriend kinda ruined Penis Parker for me.” Flash told him. “Every time I think about it, my mind goes to terrifying places. I couldn’t sleep for a week.”

“Yeah, she has that affect on people.” Peter smiled to himself.

“I’m not dumb.” Flash said suddenly. “I act dumb and say dumb things, but I’m third in the class. It goes Y/n, you, and me.”

“I never knew that.” Peter looked at him curiously. “I honestly didn’t think you could read.”

“Well I can. Books and people. And I’ve been reading your girlfriend for a while.” Flash said pointedly. Every time he called you his girlfriend, it cut Peter like a knife. All it did was remind him that after tonight, he could never call you that again.

“What do you mean?”

“I know it was fake.” Flash admitted and Peters eyes went wide. “There was no way you started going out with that girl and didn’t tell anybody. I only played along because I wanted to see how far it would go. I wondered how the smartest girl in school was gonna figure out how to get out of going to a dance she planned with a total loser. I thought she was gonna back down after a day, but she just got stronger. It’s like when you spray a bug with Raid and it comes back at you with a vengeance.” Flash shuddered. “That’s what she did. I heard MJ and Ned talking about it in English. They said you guys went dress shopping together, baked cookies together, stuff like that. And she learned to play your favorite song or something?”

“Yeah.” Peter smiled at the memory. “She did.”

“That’s what I mean. That’s not fake. Maybe the first day was about proving a point to me, but all the other days weren’t.” Flash explained. “I doubt I crossed her mind once in the past two weeks. She wasn’t doing it for me. She was doing it for you.”

Peters face twisted in confusion at Flash’s words.

“But this was her idea.” Peter told him. “I gave her a million chances to back out but she insisted on faking a relationship.”

“Listen Peter, no one saw this coming. Least of all, her. By some God, she fell in love with you for real. Everyone can see that but you.” Flash clapped Peter on the back. “She’s happier, she laughs louder, she even wears your hoodie when you’re not around. I live in her building, dude. I see her getting her mail every morning in that thing. I think she sleeps in it.”

“Really?” Peters lips curved into a smile.

“Yes, dumbass.” Flash grunted. “This isn’t fake for her. You stumbled into some teen movie plot where the hot girl falls in love with the nerd and they defy all odds and end up together. I mean, look around Peter. You are at the senior dance with the girl every boy in our class wanted to go with. She could have had any of these dumbasses but she picked the biggest dumbass of all. She picked you. And instead of going out there and enjoying the dance with her, you’re over here sulking about how she’ll never like you back.”

“You’re also over here sulking.” Peter reminded him.

“That’s just my face.” Flash snapped and went quiet for a moment. “You know she got into Harvard?”

“What?” Peter practically yelled. You had definitely not told him about that.

“Yeah. Like I said, I see her at the mailbox. I saw her open the letter.” Flash continued. “I also eavesdropped on her conversation with MJ about getting in.”

“What did she say? And why didn’t she tell me?” Peter wondered out loud.

“She said she’s not going.” Flash shrugged.

“What? Why not? That’s her dream school.” Peter exclaimed. He was frustrated now. Frustrated that you hadn’t told him and frustrated that you were trying to turn it down.

“Are you really that dumb?” Flash asked in annoyance.

“Apparently.” Peter stated, still not getting it.

“She’s not going because of you, you incel.” Flash said abruptly. “I heard her tell MJ that you were staying in New York for college and she didn’t want to leave you.”

“She’s staying for me?” Peter asked, mostly to himself.

“Yep.” Flash nodded gratuitously. “Apparently she’s not as smart as she seems.”

Peters shoulders slumped as he mulled over what Flash told him.

“She can’t throw away her life like this. Not for me.” He shook his head decidedly. “I could never make her happy.”

“Well, that’s a given, no?” Flash asked him. “You’re not good enough for her. And not even on a popular versus non popular spectrum. She is an angel among us and you build Lego lamps and smell like baby oil. You’re a loser, Peter. You are always going to be a loser.” Flash put his hand on Peters back and pointed to you. “But a girl like that is going places. And now she’s giving up her dream school for a guy she’s known for two weeks. Do you really want to be the thing that holds her back?”

Peter thought about it for a second and shook his head. Flash was right. Just like MJ, he wasn’t trying to be mean. Peter was a loser. In that moment as you gave him a flirty wave from across the gym, he knew he loved you too much to let you waste your life on him.

“No, I don’t.” He realized. “I can’t let her do that. I have to let her go.”

“If you do, can you tell me? I wanna be her rebound.” Flash rubbed his hands together as he stared at you.

“Sure.” Peter stood you and realized what Flash said. “I mean, no. Ew.”

Peter was about to walk away when he turned back around to look at Flash.

“Hey Flash?”

“What?” He grumbled.

“Thanks.” Peter smiled. “Third in the class is really cool.”

With that, Peter pushed his way through the student body to get to you. He had decided to break things off after the dance, rather than during. You worked so hard planning it and he wasn’t about to be the jerk that ruined it for you. The way your eyes lit up as Peter made his way to you killed him inside. He could barely stand to look at you, knowing what he was gonna have to do later that night.

“Hey daisy.” He gave you a tight smile. Now that he was closer, he could see you were upset about something. He began to fear that someone had told you about the conversation he had with Flash.

“Hi Peter.” You smiled sadly.

“What’s wrong?”

“I put real beta fish in the centerpieces because I wanted this dance to be elegant and creative but the fish keep dying so everyone has dead fish on their table and it’s disgusting and Stacy the vegan started crying and I ruined the dance.” You said all in one breath, punctuating your rant by resting your forehead against Peters shoulder. He instinctively wrapped his arms around you and rubbed your back.

“Hey hey hey, the dance isn’t ruined.” He assured you and pulled away so he could look at you. “I’ll get Ned to get rid of the centerpieces and then the problem will be gone. I have a feeling he’s going to love this task.”

“This is all my fault.” You whimpered. “This is what I get for buying 200 fish off a guy who swiped my credit card through a crack between two bricks. I’m such a bad business mogul. I’m never gonna be on the cover of Forbes magazine.” You began to cry and buried your face in Peters chest again.

“Daisy, it’s okay.” He chuckled and got the hair out of your face. “Forbes is still gonna put you on the cover. And I’m gonna buy every copy and tell everyone I know that that was my fake girlfriend in high school. You haven’t ruined anything. Everyone is enjoying the dance, see?”

You lifted your head of Peters chest to look around the dance floor. Your senior class was laughing, dancing, and all round having a good time.

“You think so?” You looked at Peter tearfully.

“Absolutely.” He smiled sweetly. “I’ve had a bunch of people come up to me and tell me my girlfriend planned an awesome dance. Everyone is having a great time.”

“Thanks, Peter.” You hugged him again and he could feel your body relax.

“I’m gonna go tell Ned to take care of the fish. Stay here.” He ordered and left to find Ned. Luckily, he spotted Ned gaping at one of the centerpieces close by.

“Dude, these fish are dead.” Ned said as Peter approached him.

“I know and it’s really bumming Y/n out.” Peter told him. “I need you to collect all the center pieces and throw them out. But check if the fish are alive first.”

“I was put on this planet to complete this task.” Ned grinned and saluted Peter.

“I know buddy.” Peter saluted him back and turned on his heel to go back to you.

“Wait, what do I do with the alive ones?” Ned asked.

“Save them for us, obviously.”

“Hell yeah.” Ned pumped his fist. “Okay, I’ll get on it.”

Peter smiled in relief and went back over to where you were.

“Your centerpieces are taken care of, my lady.” Peter declared, making you smile widely.

“Thank you.” You gushed. “I’ll have to thank Ned too. He’s doing it so fast, it’s like he’s done it before.”

“The scary part is, I feel like Ned would be the type of person to have collected tiny fish corpses during a school dance before.” Peter said as he watched his best friend steal fish from decorative centerpieces.

“You two are really something.” You laughed and took one of Peters hands. He held your hand with both of his and patted it gently.

“Yeah.” He laughed before his eyes shifted to the right. “Flash is staring at us.”

“Then let’s give him something to stare at.” You shrugged and dragged Peter to the middle of the dance floor. He gulped, having a feeling where you were going with this.

“I don’t really know how to dance.” He told you once you got to the center.

“Then I’ll lead. Just put your hands on my hips and sway.” You instructed Peter and he complied. “And hold tight. We’re dating, after all.”

“Like this?” Peter held your hips firmly and looked to you for approval.

“That’s perfect.” You smiled and wrapped your arms around his neck. “Come closer, though.”

Peter stepped closer so your bodies were pressed together. You and Peter kept in time with the song and swayed softly to the music. Peter couldn’t get over how pretty you looked in your dress. He was sure the sight of your standing in his doorway was one he would never forget. You looked absolutely enchanting and it made his heart swell and burst. The past two weeks of getting to know you were a dream come true for him, and it killed him that the dream was about to end. And he just hated that he had to break your heart.

“I’m sorry you have to spend your senior dance with me.” Peter said suddenly. “I’m sure this wasn’t a part of the plan when you stood up for me in the hallway.”

“It wasn’t, but it worked out.” You shrugged. “I was gonna ask you to the dance anyway.”

“Really? Why?”

“Because you were taking too long to ask me.” You mocked him. Peter smiled timidly and looked down at his shoes.

“I was a little busy fighting off the hundreds of girls competing for my attention with a longsword.” He said apologetically.

“Ha ha.” You laughed sarcastically. “They better know to stay away from my man.”

“I’m kidding. You have absolutely no competition, in a hot way.” He added. “I don’t think girls can even see me. Like, their brain blocks me out. And two week ago, I didn’t have the courage to say “bless you” after you sneezed. I never could’ve asked you to the dance.“

“Can you stop that?” You looked at him angrily.

“Stop what?” He asked.

“Belittling yourself.” You answered. “You’re a really, really good guy Pete. You’re sweet and you’re funny and super ripped for some reason. How come you’ve never had a girlfriend?”

“I don’t know. Girls don’t really go for the winner of the science fair. I’m not what they want.”

“Then they’re stupid. No wonder I’m number one in the class.” You smiled smugly and brushed some hair off your shoulder.

“What about you? Why don’t you have a boyfriend?” He wondered. “And I know for a fact your excuse is not the same as mine, so don’t even try it. I’ve seen boys break up with their girlfriends just because you walked by.”

“Those boys don’t want me.” You shook your head and readjusted your arms around Peters neck. “They want the most popular girl in school. They’re looking for status and a good parking spot and a seat at the cool kids table. If I wasn’t popular, they would never look my way.”

“Yeah. I hear boys hate it when girls are pretty.” Peter nodded like he understood.

“Shut up. I’m being serious.” You whined. You got quiet suddenly and refused to meet Peters eyes as you stared at the ground. “Do you ever feel unlovable?”

“Sometimes. Or hard to love, at least.” He answered honestly and looked at you out of curiosity. “Do you?”

You looked up at Peter with a pained look in your eye.

“I look in the mirror sometimes and I have to wonder, is this it?” You whispered. “And if it is, how is this gonna be enough for someone? How is someone going to love this? If you’re in a room full of beautiful flowers in full bloom, no ones gonna pick a daisy.”

“Don’t say that. Someone would.” Peter tightened his grip on your waist, angry that you would say something like that about the girl he loved. You looked at Peter and smiled a little.

“Being with you is the first time I’ve felt like someone could love me.” You spoke softly. “And it’s the first time I’ve felt like I could lo-“

“Don’t say it.” Peter cut you off. If you said what he thought you were about to say, he would never be able to let you go. It was hard enough already to leave you. If he knew you loved him, he coudk never bring himself to do it. Your face went pale and rigid, thinking Peter cut you off because he was rejecting you once again.

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said anything.” You let go of Peter, all the emotions from the night before hitting you once again. “I have to go.”

You began to walk away from Peter but he grabbed your arm gently and turned you around.

“Daisy, wait.” He stopped you and held you in place. His mind was a battlefield. He knew he had to let you go, but it killed him inside to do it. He just needed one last chance to look at you.

“What are we doing here, Peter?” You laughed sadly. “We said this ends with the dance. Just let me go.”

You broke out of his grip and started walking away away.

“I can’t. Not when I - - just please don’t leave.” He pleaded. Before you could respond, a familiar song played through the speakers. “Hey There Delilah.” Peter mumbled as the bass vibrated in his chest.

“I made the playlist.” You shrugged. “I really have to go. Say So is next and if I see Ned doing that dance one more time…” Your voice cracked before you turned away from him and ran out of the gym, shoving the doors open and escaping through them. Peter watched you leave as he wondered what went wrong so quickly. He knew you well enough by now to know something even bigger was bothering you, he just couldn’t figure out what. He ran after you and caught up to you in the parking lot.

“Daisy - daisy wait.” He called but you kept running. “Will you stop? How do you run so fast in heels?”

“Go away, Peter.” You spun around and he could see the tears in your eyes. You held yourself for a moment as the cold air hit your exposed arms, still warm from the dance.

“No. I’m not gonna go away until you tell me what’s bothering you.” Peter declared. “What happened back there?”

“Why don’t you want me?” You cried before Peter could finish his sentence. He recoiled a little, completely taken aback by your question.

“What?”

“Why don’t you want me?” You repeated, black tears now streaming down your cheeks.

“Of course I want you. You’re the one who doesn’t want me.” He protested. That’s what he had told himself every second of this fake relationship. That’s what he had to cling to if he was gonna do this.

“Are you kidding me?” You shouted and laughed at the absurdity. “What’s not clicking?”

Peter licked his lips and looked you firmly in the eyes. He couldn’t let you tell him that you loved him. That would only make this harder. If he was going to let you go, he was going to have to do it now.

“What’s not clicking is that you’re delusional. You think you like me? You think you want nerdy friends and baking dates? You don’t.” He snapped. “You live a charmed life! You’re surrounded by people who worship you and you act like that’s a bad thing. You wanna shit on your fake friends and their fake parties, well fine.” Peter held up his hands. “But I don’t want any part of it. Because who are we fooling here, honestly? Let’s not pretend that a girl like you would ever be interested in a guy like me.”

“A girl like me?” You asked through gritted teeth. His behavior was so out of character for him that you almost didn’t believe was you were hearing. Peter could tell from the look on your face that he was hurting you, but he couldn’t let up. He had to destroy the home you built in him so you wouldn’t want to stay anymore.

“A popular girl!” He yelled in a mocking tone. “A popular, pretty girl who has no business hanging out with losers like me and Ned.”

“I like hanging out with you and Ned.” You protested.

“Why? Because you want to be different? Because you want to prove to yourself that your heart is made of gold because you fell in love with a nerd during a fake relationship” he pouted sarcastically and you started to cry again. “Guess what, Y/n? You didn’t fall in love with me. You were never going to fall in love with me.” His voice cracked and he wondered briefly who his words hurt more. “You said it yourself. You’re the deity and I’m just the hopeless loser who fell for you. What a wonderful world.”

“What happened to you? I thought you were different.” You sniffled and folded your arms. It was a miracle you hadn’t walked away yet, so Peter had to keep going.

“Well, I’m not. I’m exactly like everyone else. Did you think I was interested in you because you paint and play the guitar?” He laughed bitterly. “No. I liked you because you’re hot and popular, and I wanted to be hot and popular like you. The sooner you accept that you’ll never be more than a pretty face, you’ll find that happiness you’re so desperate to achieve. You know, the one you’ve been looking for in me? Look at yourself. You act all high and mighty, claiming that everyone wants something from you, but let’s face it, daisy. No ones ever gonna want anything more from you than a smile.”

“That’s not true.” You said weakly. Peter began to tear up at how horribly he was treating you, but he pushed through it.

“Isn’t it?” He tilted his head. “You think you’re unloveable? You know what, you probably are.”

“How could you say that to me? This isn’t you.” You spat and took a step away from you. This was a good sign for Peter. He was finally driving you away.

“This is me. This is everybody. Out here, people are gonna pick your daisies and rip the petals off while you watch. But this is what you chose, isn’t it?” He taunted. “Do you still want to join me and the rest of the island of misfit toys or do you want to go back inside and enjoy your dance with your pretty, popular friends? The choice is yours.”

You marched up to Peter and got incredibly close to his close, staring at him with clear eyes.

“The choice was mine and I picked you.” You stated. “I know this relationship started out as fake, but my feelings for you have always been real. I thought you felt the same but then I kissed you and you - - you rejected me!” Your face scrunched up in pain and Peter finally understood where you outburst came from. “I’ve been trying to act like everything’s fine for your sake when it’s not. But maybe that was a waste. Maybe you deserved to know how shitty I was feeling because you certainly didn’t hold back on me.”

You backed away from Peter and started towards the parking lot while Peter processed what you said. You had just confirmed what he never thought would be true.

You liked him.

No, you loved him.

And he had just obliterated any chance he had with you.

All your trust, feelings, and friendship was laid to waste by Peters hands.

Hearing it from you removed the cloud from his brain and he could finally see how stupid his plan was. Being mean to you to get you to leave him for Harvard might work, but it would hurt all parties in the process. You’d go back to where you started, only more broken than Peter had found you. He couldn’t let his first relationship, be it real or fake, end like this.

“Daisy.” He called as he ran after you. You turned around with a searing anger in your eyes.

“You don’t get to call me that anymore. Peter got to call me that but this”, you gestured right him weakly, “this isn’t Peter. I want no part of this.”

“Please, I’m so sorry. I wasn’t thinking.” He begged for your forgiveness, which he already knew he didn’t deserve.

“No, I know what you were thinking.” You stopped him. “You were scared because this got too real for you and thought if you ruined it before it even happened, you couldn’t ruin it later when it actually mattered.”

“That’s actually better than my reasoning and now that I think about it, that was definitely a factor.” Peter realized how right you were. He knew he didn’t deserve you so he sabotaged it before it could happen.

“I was scared too, Peter. But instead of running away from the unknown, I ran towards it. I guess you just don’t have that in you.” You shrugged and he felt your words chill him to the bone.

“Wait, just let me explain-“

“I loved you.” You cut him off and the blood drained from his face. “For what it’s worth, I absolutely loved you. It was never fake for me. I’m so sick of pretending.”

And with that, you walked away.

“Y/n, wait.” He called weakly, but he knew you weren’t gonna come back. He got what he wanted. He drove you away, just like he planned. But if that was the goal, why did he feel so awful inside?

“But I was never pretending.” He mumbled.

Tag List 🏷

@a-villain-vying-for-attention @wendaiii @dorbiksbitch @t-monosapiens-h @badhollandfluff @silteplaittais-toi @thisisthebiplace @seasidecrowbar @spideygirl2003 @5-seconds-of-mendes @bitchylittleredhead @oh-whatabeautiful-parker @everydaymj @write-from-the-heart @blackpetalsmeandeath @electraheart-3174 @shawni-h @peterparkoure @sleepythighsweat @steebbb @traveleraroundsworld @averyfosterthoughts @bralessandflawless @viwihere @eridanuswave @the-greatt-perhaps​ @spidey-lillies @kelieah @danicarosaline @xroselights @xoxohollands​ @jannine00742 @itscaminow @peterisinapickle @starstruckgardenstudentzonk @danicarosaline @potter-head-phanatic @peepeeparkerr @muade-mua-de @liljennyx3

[whumpingcrow]

Ink Poisoning - Chapter 10

"Garbage Person"

CW: bbu and everything in relation to that, drugs/alcohol (explicit), injury description, blood, sick whumpee, anxiety attack, amputation mention (vague), noncon mention, conditioned whumpee, food mention (let me know if I missed anything!)

Nicko had been working on a tattoo when Ben called him. The skin underneath him belonged to a slightly older woman, a blonde with pink lipstick on her teeth that he could see every time she smiled at him. She was annoying, and she was flirting with him, which made her even more annoying. The first time his phone rang, he ignored it completely, too consumed in his work to even look up. Secretly, he was wishing that he was tattooing Gio instead. It had been a little over a week since Nicko made him sick by icing him out, and Nicko hadn't allowed himself to bring him back to the shop. Instead, it became his mission to make him better. He made him soup, he let him sleep in his bed, he even helped him take a bath the first day he was sick.

That had been difficult. Nicko had never been "nice", he knew that about himself. He was notoriously an asshole, famously short tempered and foul mouthed. He knew what empathy was, he could feel it, but it was just...rare. The knowledge that others had emotions and feelings didn't matter to him, most of the time. But when he gave Gio a bath, he'd never felt worse for someone in his entire life. Gio could hardly keep himself upright, couldn't even keep his eyes open, when Nicko undressed him and helped him into the water. Nicko hadn't washed the blood off of his face the night before, hadn't wanted to move him around and hurt him more than he was, so when he wet a rag and tried to gently wipe the dried blood off, he wanted to cry right along with Gio. He held his head still with one hand on his jaw as he ran the towel over the bridge of his nose, over his cheekbones, very carefully under his eyes, wiping away some of his tears along with the blood. Nicko couldn't believe he'd hurt him so badly. He felt even worse when Gio's face was clean and he could see the bruises he'd left there. Then Nicko washed his hair, there was blood there, too, somehow, and then he just sat outside of the bathtub and let Gio warm up in the water for a few more minutes. He couldn't stop crying.

"I'm sorry, sir," he whimpered out, using his wrists to push away the tears, directing his huge, teary eyes at Nicko. He looked hopeless, his chocolate brown eyes dulled down with fear and sadness. Nicko reached out and traced his thumb down Gio's face tenderly. He looked so young, with his hair slicked back out of his face and his huge eyes and his cheeks and nose flushed red from crying and his fever. His file didn't include an age when Nicko got him, but he couldn't have been more than 20.

"You shouldn't be sorry, Gio. Really, I'm the one who messed up. I'm..." He paused, frowning to himself. The words didn't sound right in his head, he hadn't used them earnestly enough all that often, so it was sort of alien to him. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you."

Gio looked positively perplexed, like he was just as much as used to hearing apologies as Nicko was at giving them. "S...Sir?" He squeaked.

"When I came back out and saw you outside like that, all bloody and fucking tied up...God, Gio, I was just disgusted." He could see Gio's face fall even more, and his heart sank. "No! No, not of you! I was disgusted in myself. I was disgusted that I did something so awful to you. And I'm sorry."

After that, Nicko made him rest, and he nursed him back to health. It was the least he could do, after putting him in that condition in the first place. That morning, he was up with Nicko, asking if he could go with him to work, if he would finish his tattoo. Nicko thought it was adorable, but he still had bruises and still seemed a little out of it, so Nicko made him stay home. He was regretting it now, as the blonde bimbo told him "Don't be afraid to hurt me, I don't mind a little pain" with a wink.

The second time his phone rang, he told the blonde to give him a moment, pulling off his gloves as he stood up and walked into the next room to answer the phone.

"What Ben? I'm working."

"Hey, uh...you didn't take Gio with you to work, did you?" Ben's voice was a little nervous, and Nicko was instantly worried.

"No, I left him there. Is he not there?"

"Um..."

"Ben is he there or not?!"

"I thought I saw him earlier, but I can't find him now. I think he jumped ship, dude."

Nicko had never had an anxiety attack before. Nervous, sure. Fits of rage, all the time. But he'd never felt the tight rubber bands around his lungs feeling that took his breath away when Ben said that. So he hung up the phone and left through the back, all but sprinting to his car. It was a miracle he got home in one piece, with how fast he was driving and how badly his hands were shaking. Gio jumped ship. Gio hates you because of how badly you hurt him. You scared him so bad he ran away. You awful person. You horrible, garbage person. The anxiety only worsened when he got home and Gio really was gone, he wasn't just hiding out somewhere like he sometimes did. Nicko pictured him, his huge, horrified eyes, how small he was, how he was probably out there scared and alone and someone might hurt him and Nicko wasn't there to protect him. You should have just taken him to work with you. This wouldn't have happened if he came with you. This is all your fault. Garbage person.

It wasn't until after he had calmed down and hours after Salem was home that Nicko even realized any of his things were missing. He was exhausted, the second he explained to Salem what had happened there was a fight, with rightfully placed blame on Nicko that he was wrongfully defensive about, as always. With his nerves shot and beyond tired from his incessant anger, he got drunk. It was a bad habit, his drinking in an attempt to mute his anger. But it was better than picking another fight with Salem to blow of some steam, and it felt better than the newfound anxiety every time he thought about Gio.

It was when he was drunk that he decided to paint, to make a mess with some red without actually hurting anyone again, and he noticed a few of his paintbrushes were gone. No one ever touched his art supplies (especially not Gio, and especially not after Nicko once made a joke about cutting off his fingers if he decided to be a thief and take his things), and he was very particular about how it was all organized. So when he realized they weren't where he'd left them, even in his drunken stupor, he could tell that something was wrong. So he looked around more, and he was missing more than just his brushes. His room had basically been ransacked, and he didn't know how he hadn't noticed before just then. So he rushed back out to the kitchen, where Ben and Salem were both standing around talking.

When he opened the liquor cabinet (for the second time in the last hour, and he wondered again how he had failed to notice something so important) he was missing a bottle of vodka and the jar of cash he and Rory secretly added to for party funds was empty. There was only one other person who knew about it, and then it clicked.

"Nicko," Ben started in careful disdain, "shouldn't we be doing something besides...you know...drinking?"

"Gio didn't run away."

Salem scoffed at him. "Right. Why would he want to run away from you?"

Nicko shook his head, trying to rub some of the stress out of his face. "No, you idiot. Rory was here. She took my stuff. She took my art shit, she took my cash, she took Gio."

Ben was instantly pale, and Salem stood from his chair and began pacing. It was unspoken, but they were all thinking the same thing, more or less. Rory had a problem, she had ever since they all met sophomore year at a party, and she had never downplayed it or try to make it less obvious. Sober Rory was a rare occasion, despite at some point everyone telling her she should at least talk to someone, go to a meeting, go to rehab. So at some point, their persistence fizzled out and they stopped trying so hard, and she was happier that way, anyway. Nicko had tried a few times to give her somewhat of an intervention, but in the end he decided the only thing he had the power to do was be there with her, whatever she decided to do. Yeah, because you could be all the help she needed? You, the garbage person? Right.

Nicko spent the rest of that night, all the way through morning, driving to places she might be. Her friends hadn't heard from her in days, they'd said, and the dealer that they had been going to together said she'd stopped by the night Nicko kicked her out and bought some weed. After that, he drove up and down neighborhoods all over the city looking for her car. But he had no luck, and he returned home the next morning without Gio or any idea where he was.

Over the course of the next two weeks, Nicko starting failing his classes. He couldn't bring himself to care much about his assignments when Gio was still missing, somewhere with Rory, probably being pumped with whatever she was using. Don't forget that it's your fault. He's gone because of you're shitty decisions.

He also got fired from his apprentice at the tattoo shop, the blonde he was working on didn't particularly like him running out on her and not finishing her piece, and his boss didn't like it either. He couldn't really bring himself to care that much about it. His job, his school, none of that was important to him anymore. Not as important as Giovanni, who was his responsibility and was probably miserable and scared because of him.

So he mostly stayed hidden in his room, starting paintings but never finishing them, tattooing senseless things on himself out of boredom, laying in bed doing nothing. He drove around a lot, too, looking for anything that would tell him where Rory was. He got pulled over three times, he spent a ridiculous amount of money on gas, and he never found Gio.

The guilt was suffocating. Every morning when he woke up alone in his bed he was reminded that Gio was missing, and then again when he got up and saw his empty beanbag, and knowing that he wasn't there because Nicko hadn't kept a good enough eye on him was crushing.

At some point, even Salem noticed how much Gio being gone was eating Nicko up, because he grudgingly came into his room one night, hovering in the doorway, asking Nicko if he was ok. Nicko was sitting on his bed, eyes droopy from however much booze he'd had that day, and for the first time since Salem had known him, he looked painfully human.

"I was responsible for him," Nicko admitted, "if Rory hurts him...if something bad happens to him..." He didn't finish his thought, but Salem had an idea of what he was going to say: that it would be his fault.

"Nicko, whatever Rory does is not up to you. You've done everything you can to find him, that's all that you can do." It was strange for him to be comforting Nicko, of all people, especially after he had found out that he'd assaulted Gio and left him outside in the cold until he got sick. After that, whatever little respect Salem had for Nicko was gone, and now it was being replaced by pity.

But Nicko didn't want his pity, he didn't want to be comforted by anyone. He didn't deserve that. So he told Salem to get out, to just leave him alone. Only Salem, stupid, relentlessly nice Salem refused to leave, and instead he crossed the room and sat down next to him on his bed.

"He likes you a lot, Nicko. Did you know that?"

Nicko did know, unfortunately. He vividly remembered one of the nights when Gio was sick, when he turned over in bed and pressed himself close to Nicko and told him he was his favorite, that it hurt him when he couldn't be around him all the time. And now he was gone. And it was Nicko's fault. "Yeah, I know. He's sort of dumb in that way, isn't he?"

Salem laughed at him, mostly because he didn't know when Nicko became so self aware. "No, I don't think so. I think he's just miraculously good at seeing the best parts of people. He likes Rory, too. Even after...you know, even though she got him high all the time." Nicko let out a long, heavy sigh, and Salem followed suit. "I'm telling you that because he knows that none of this is your fault. I mean, to him, you fucking walk on water. You couldn't ever do anything wrong. So, wherever he is, he isn't blaming you. No one here is blaming you either."

Nicko didn't believe him, but he didn't have the energy to argue against him. So instead, he just said "ok", and then Salem left. Nicko spent the next twenty or so minutes drinking and sketching lazily, dragging pencils across a paper only as a means to distract himself. Everything he drew was ugly, every drink tasted awful, life was miserable. He thought back to what Salem had said, that Gio liked him a lot, and then he thought again of Gio whispering in the dark, "you're my favorite person, Nicko," and his heart broke all over again. He trusted you and you put him in danger. He liked you and you didn't even fucking care, you god awful garbage person.

He was pulled out of his spiraling, self hating thoughts by a knock at the front door. He almost wanted to ignore it, didn't want to ever see or speak to anyone ever again, knowing he would probably end up hurting whoever it was in the end anyway, like he did to everyone he'd ever been around. But then he decided against it, and he stumbled down the hallway with his beer still in hand.

Giovanni sank to his knees in the same instant that Nicko opened the door, so fast that Nicko didn't even realize it was him at first. Only when Gio looked up at him from his place on the snowy porch and started to choke out a familiar sounding apology did it click that it was him. He looked awful, his pale skin peppered with small scrapes and his neck littered with what looked like hickeys, the usual bags under his eyes were an even darker shade of purple, his lips were cracked and bloody, and his face had hollowed out dramatically.

"I'm so s-s-sorry that I left, Nicko," he was rushing out, tears threatening to fall from his frightened round eyes, "ple...please forgive me, sir, please take m-me back-"

Then, Nicko was on his knees too, reaching out to take Gio's face in his hands, frowning at him when he flinched away just a little. Once Nicko's hands were on him, he really couldn't hold back the tears anymore, staring at Nicko as they slipped down his face and onto Nicko's hands. He was afraid at Nicko's silence, he would prefer for him to just start yelling already so that they could get the punishment over with and Gio could maybe be allowed to sleep after. He was exhausted. But Nicko only kept staring at him, almost in disbelief.

Then, as if he remembered that Gio was still outside, kneeling in a pile of snow, he stood up and pulled Gio carefully to his feet, helping him across the threshold so he could shut the door and keep the cold out. Once he was inside, and upright, Nicko got a better look at him, and he was physically upset at how rough he looked. Then he noticed how badly Gio was shaking, and how he was fidgeting with the hem of his shirt nervously as he stared at Nicko. He realized then that he hadn't said anything, and Gio had apologized because he thought he was in trouble, so Nicko being completely silent was probably freaking him out. Gio let out a soft whine when Nicko stepped closer and pulled him against his chest.

"I was so worried about you, Gio," he whispered, swaying side to side, "I looked all over...I'm so sorry I let her get you. I'm so sorry."

Before Gio could even begin to protest the apology, Salem came down the hallway and gasped when he saw Gio all wrapped up in Nicko's arms. "You came back?" He breathed. Gio nodded as much as he could in Nicko's snug embrace. Nicko pulled away then, brushing Gio's hair out of his face and looking at him with a frown.

"Come on, let's get you some food. Anything you want." He pulled Gio behind him into the kitchen, forcing him to sit in a chair. Gio was confused, wasn't sure why he wasn't being berated with pain and cruel words for running off and being gone for so long. He watched as Nicko looked through the fridge, then jumped when the chair next to him screeched against the hardwood floor as Salem sat down.

"Are you ok?" He asked Gio softly, a concerned frown on his face. Gio was happy to see his kind face, but the question made his heart lurch uncomfortably in his chest. He wasn't ok, his body ached all over, everything felt uncomfortably fuzzy and far away from the drugs that hadn't worn off yet, his fatigue was so bad he felt like sobbing every time he had to move his tired muscles. More than anything he was confused, like always, and it was much too difficult to try and figure out why Nicko was being nice to him and trying to give him food like a reward when he had run away and been gone for so long.

"You want pizza, Gio?" Nicko called from the freezer, already pulling out a frozen pizza and setting it on the counter. Gio didn't answer either of their questions, it felt like his any words that he wanted to say were shards of broken glass on his tongue, and it would only hurt him and everyone around him if he started to talk. It was mostly because his mind was a mess of racing thoughts about Rory and Oscar and all the awful things they did to him and how badly it hurt and how scared he was and how horrible he felt for worrying Nicko.

His silence made them both uneasy, and Nicko set the pizza box down with a thud on the table in front of Gio, then he crouched down next to him, placing his hand on his thigh. Giovanni squeezed his eyes shut in response, Nicko noticed his shoulders began to rise and fall quicker in his uneven breathing.

"What's wrong, darling?" Nicko tried, keeping his voice soft and level. Gio cringed, turning his face away from him. "Talk to me, Gio. Please."

Giovanni let out a tiny whimper, shaking his head. Salem and Nicko shared a nervous glance. Salem shrugged his shoulders hopelessly, not sure how to comfort Gio or make him talk anymore than Nicko did.

So, without any other idea of what to do, Nicko reached up and tilted Gio's face towards him, even though he didn't open his eyes. "Gio, I can't help you feel better if you don't tell me what's wrong. I want to help you but you have to tell me how."

Now, Gio opened his eyes, his frown deepening when he looked at Nicko. Within half a second his eyes were overflowing with tears and his shaking went from a tiny shiver to violent tremors up and down his body. "I...I don't know what's wrong." He admitted. His voice was a hoarse whisper, and Nicko pulled his hand away from his face after he spoke. Gio burst into tears just then, tilting his head down as he sobbed out weakly. "I'm s-sorry, I'm so so stupid I'm so f-fucking stupid I'm-"

Nicko shut him up by standing up and wrapping his arms around him again, pulling his head against his stomach and petting through his hair softly. Salem watched them with his hand over his mouth, obviously troubled at Gio's hysteria. "It's ok, Gio," Nicko soothed him, "you're not stupid. I'm not upset with you. I just want to help."

Gio wasn't really listening, couldn't hear anything over his ragged breathing and his sobs that were muffled by Nicko's clothes. When Nicko realized he wasn't going to calm down like that, he pulled off of him, looking down at his tears stained face. It's all your fault he's crying right now. Look at how broken he is because of you.

"You're not stupid, Giovanni. You hear me?"

The sternness to Nicko's voice snapped Gio out of it a little, he forced his mouth closed and nodded up at him reflexively. Then, Nicko sighed softly and turned away from him altogether. He grabbed the pizza, busying himself with that instead of having to look at how ruined he made Gio. He was only turned away for a minute or two before Salem cleared his throat.

"Um, Nicko?" He said. "I don't think he's really hungry."

When Nicko turned to see what Salem was talking about, and Gio had his head rested against the table, passed out cold. Nicko hadn't thought that he might be tired, and he felt like an asshole for not even checking with him. With a huff, he turned off the oven and threw the pizza carelessly back into the freezer. When Nicko picked Gio up he didn't even stir, completely limp when Nicko scooped him out of the chair and pulled him against his chest.

Seeing Gio back in his bed was more relieving than Nicko had anticipated, and once he was curled up under the covers all Nicko could do was stare at him. He was broken and banged up and looked seconds away from death in a lot of ways, but Nicko felt like he'd never seen anything as beautiful as Gio passed out under his covers. Suddenly, the art block he'd had since Gio had been gone dissipated, and Nicko was as quiet as he could be as he got out a canvas and what little art supplies Rory left him with.

Hours later, Gio woke up to find Nicko asleep next to him, covered in splotches of paint on his face and hands and all over his clothes. He sat up just a little, and then noticed the huge painting across the room. Through the dark he couldn't tell what it was, but it made him smile nonetheless. With a yawn, he layed back down, a little closer to Nicko than he was when he woke up. When Nicko reached out and grabbed onto his hand, Gio tensed up just a little, only until he laced his fingers in between Gio's and held onto his hand gently. Gio looked up at him only to see him still peacefully sleeping, and he realized he probably thought he was someone else, maybe Rory. Still, Gio happily pushed himself closer, resting his head against Nicko's shoulder and keeping his grip on his hand tight.

[thesweetestkimberry]

Let Her Go

Pairings: Hanta Sero x Reader

Warnings: ANGST, cursing, main character death (non explicit), OOC

Notes: This is my first time publishing something angsty,, what started off as a halloween crack fic, became this. AND I APOLOGIZE,, I WOULD’VE POSTED THIS ON THE 30th BUT IT WAS MY BIRTHDAY AND I WAS OUT FOR THE WHOLE DAY. 

also lowkey inspired by a Let Her Go by Passenger

enough of me talking,, I HOPE YOU GUYS ENJOY AND I HOPE YOU ALL HAD A LOVELY QUARANTINE HALLOWEEN.

『° 。✰˚⋆☾⋆。✰°』

“Hanta!” “AH SHIT-“ 

You crouched as you held your stomach, laughing loudly from sneaking up on your boyfriend. Wheezing as he stumbled to the floor, pants tangling at his ankles.

“Don’t,” he spoke, shaking his hands and shooting an accusing finger at you, “Do that!” taking in a gulp of air, you looked up at your Sero who glared at you. 

“I’m sorry, I couldn’t help it! You were just so vulnerable!” You watched him struggle to stand up, reaching down to pull his pants up, “Yummy.” you muttered, giggling as he snapped his head towards you in warning. 

“Just because it’s Halloween doesn’t mean you can scare me.” He says fastening his belt, the view of his front being reflected in the mirror. You sat on the bed and admired his form, from his shoulders to his lean torso, even admiring the way his mullet seemed to suit him perfectly.

“That’s exactly what it means babe.” He chuckled and finally turned to you, making his way over and cupping your cheeks in his hands, your skin feeling a tad cold. “You’re beautiful.” He says planting a kiss onto your lips. He could feel the way your lips quirked into a smile against his own, your hands covering his and gently running your fingers over it. 

“God, I love you.” 

“I love you too Hanta. So damn much. forever and always. You know i’ll always be here for you right? Even when i’m not exactly here.” You semi joked, needing to know that he understood you and your love for him.

The moment was broken before he could respond, when a knock sounded at your door making you both turn, “I’ll get it (y/n).” 

Opening the door, Kirishima and Bakugou stood outside, one looking happier than the other. With a bright smile the redhead spoke, “You ready bro? movie night’s starting.” Sero looked to you and nodded, “Yeah, we’ll be down there soon.” He says as the two just outside the door give each other side glances.  

“Just hurry the fuck up or we’re starting without you.” Bakugou said, shoving his hands into his pockets and glancing into the familiar room. You smiled and waved at him, however he did not return either, he only stared at you. 

“Stop being such a grump, Katsuki.” You tease, Standing up and off-shoulder to Sero, still smiling at the two. “Alright, see you down.” Kirishima said tugging Bakugou back along into the elevator. 

“Bakugou seemed a little more distant to you than usual didn’t he?” Sero says taking your hand, “Aw, i wouldn’t worry babe, you know how he is,” You offer with a smile, “let’s just go watch the movie.” 

And with that, the two of you were off to the common room. Upon arrival, Sero was quick to pull you to the couch to get the good seats, giggling at his antics, you and him sat down in the corner, him pulling you into his side. 

Just before the movie started, Shoji was about to sit and having not seen your frame, he was about ready to sit on top of you, “Woah dude! (y/n)’s sitting here, man.” Sero warns making the dupli-armed boy bow his head slowly, “I apologize, “Can i sit here?” he asks pointing to the spot next to you, “Of course, Shoji” You say with a smile, Sero nodding at his question with a smile as well. 

Everyone was silent during the exchange, looking back and forth between them, and after a while, they were reduced to sympathetic whispers.

 “Let’s get this started, yeah?” Mina said, breaking everyone’s muttering, a chorus of voices agreeing to start the movie. 

Sero smiled and kissed your head, you snuggled into his side and looked up at him sadly, a look that he didn’t notice. 

Throughout the movie, Sero would whisper his own commentary into your ear and would grin every time he made you laugh aloud. He would shush you for laughing too loud, even though the others didn’t seem to react to your boisterous laughter at your boyfriends’ comedic comments. 

After about an hour and a half, the movie had finally ended, it’s credits rolling through the screen. You stretched your body out and sat up, your boyfriend looking over at you tiredly, “Bedtime?” he asked hopefully while you snorted, “Sir, it’s only 9.” You teased and watched as he gestured over to Bakugou, “well it’s way past his bedtime so i assumed it was time for ours.” 

“What the hell did you say about me, Soy Sauce?” Bakugou shouted, the others looking up at them in amusement, “I was just telling (y/n) that it’s past your bedtime, old man.” 

Bakugou’s fighting stance faltered and he only glared, sadness and hurt hiding behind his eyes. “Fuck you. i’m going to bed.” He says making Sero wince, you shook your head at him and watched him grimace. 

Just as Bakugou walked out of the common room and into the hallway to get to the elevator, he crossed paths with Aizawa who was doing his final check in. 

Without looking up from the floor, Bakugou spoke, “He’s doing it again.” and with that, he  entered the elevator and made his way to his dorm, leaving his teacher to mull over his words and sigh. 

Sero looked at you and noticed you weren’t talking to your friends like you usually did. Instead of chatting with your closest friends in the class, you simply sat beside him, only smiling at everyone. 

“Sero.” Aizawa’s voice called, the boy jumping in surprise and turning to his home room teacher, “Yes, sir?” Your boyfriend responded as he glanced over at you who met his eyes and mocked him like a child who got called into the principal’s office, “Oooo you’re in trouble.”

Sero swatted at you while Aizawa watched him, “Come with me, and bring (y/n) along.” He said simply, his words making everyone else start to whisper again. 

Walking out of the dorms and into the courtyard, Aizawa led them both to the large tree in the center, “What’s going on Mr. Aizawa? Am i in trouble? If you’re here to ask about who drank the bottle of soap , i just wanted to see if it tasted like it smelled.” Sero confessed. You and Aizawa started at him with a bewildered expression, not really knowing how to take that.

“No- Wait, you drank soap?”  His teacher asked, The boy standing rigid, “No... you’re the one farting bubbles.” 

Aizawa sighed heavily and rubbed his temples, only until Sero turned to speak to you, did Aizawa revert back to his main goal. 

“Sero come read this plaque.” The older man said, stepping aside to allow his student access to the plaque on the tree. “Um.. okay?” the boy said confused but opting to listen to his teacher anyway. 

“‘Once you’ve met someone, you never truly forget them.’ In Loving memory of (y/-“  

Sero’s blood ran cold and he felt his eyes widen, his face now contorted into one of mild confusion and hurt, “W-What is this?” he says aloud, not being able to tear his eyes away from the plaque. 

He stared at the mocking inscription and red it over and over in his head, his brain not registering what this meant, “Babe? what kind of fucked up joke is this?” Sero asks, finally being able to turn to look at you, only to see you looking at him with tears rolling down your cheeks. 

“You have to let me go, baby.” You whisper as Aizawa stands about two feet away, and watches his students’ heart break all over again.  “N-No! I love you!” he choked out, sobs now threatening to escape his trembling form.

“Hanta. Hanta,” you coo as you move over to him and take his face in your hands, those of which now felt icy against his own skin. “I love you, but you can’t keep doing this. You need to move on.” You sob out, your thumbs trying to wipe his tears away, only for it to do nothing. 

“Please don’t go. I need you here, you can’t leave me...” He shouts, trying to hold you, screaming out in pain once he realizes he can’t touch you, his arms going through you like a hologram. 

“I’ll always be here Hanta...” You offer with a miserable smile, not wanting to leave him but knowing you had to. “(y/n) please...” 

“Goodbye Hanta.” You whisper, leaning in to press a ghost of a kiss into his lips, what of which he sobbed out when he realized he couldn’t feel it. 

“Goodbye (y/n)...” he choked out, watching as you turned translucent and ultimately transparent until you were no longer there. The light of the full moon shone down on the breaking boy as he fell to his knees, Aizawa walking up to place a comforting hand on his students’ shoulder, tears nearly springing to his eyes as well as he remembered the day.

“‘Once you’ve met someone, you never truly forget them.’ In Loving memory of (y/n) (l/n). A beloved daughter, friend, girlfriend and student. Destined for greatness until a life was cut short by fate’s cruel kiss. She will forever be remembered.”

『° 。✰˚⋆☾⋆。✰°』

[superthiccthighssavelives]

Angsty Prompts

Alright @primaba11erina, here is part 1/2 of your prompts.

It’s long af, so I had to split it into 2 pieces, it’s really sad honestly, and my heart hurts from writing it, but hopefully this is what you wanted from them. ❤

Please listen to:

*Ocean Eyes - Billie Ellish*

*Everything to Help You Sleep - Julien Baker*

*The Beach - The Neighbourhood*

(and whatever heartwrenching music you have to get into the mood)

The 2 prompts from the angsty list are in bold

48- “You’re hurting me”

49- “Please just let me go”

@alyss--in--wonderland, @linseykalynn, @jolovesfandoms and whoever else wants to read it.

I’m 3 months into my first semester at college, and I’m completely miserable. I missed my family, I missed my friends, and I especially missed my boyfriend. I knew it was going to be hard, without everyone, but not this hard. I walked around with a black cloud over my head, I couldn’t sleep, I lived off black coffee and my best friend was a tube of concealer. 

My boyfriend, Taron, and I had been together since middle school, ya know the innocent puppy love, developing into a more serious relationship. We were always together, we never fought, well rarely, it was so easy with him. He was my best friend. We barely talk. Between classes, studying, sleep?, and everything else, it’s usually twice a week. A quick goodnight here and there, and maybe facetime on the weekend. This sucks. I haven’t even seen him since I left.

He stayed back in London, going to a drama school. His talent was too good to pass this opportunity up. We agreed before I left to make sure nothing would change, we both cried like babies, and couldn’t let one another go. After a few hours, I had to tear myself away or I’d end up staying. 

Now, 3 months later, I feel like we’re strangers. It may be naive to think that we could keep this relationship from destructing, especially being so young, but, we really do have an amazing thing going. Or did. I tried to concentrate on school, but as time passed, and more time passes, my thoughts get farther and farther away from that, and are planted in worry and ...that uncomfortable, writhing, anxiety ridden feeling in my stomach.

It’s Friday, and I’m about to finish my last class. I wish I could go home for the weekend, maybe take a day or two off after, to see my mom, my sister, and Taron. I don’t even think we’ve talked in a week, the anxiety was building back up again. We basically were playing phone tag, he’d call when he was free, but I was in class, I’d call him but he’d be in rehearsal. I hate this. I hate this so goddamn much. 

I drag myself back to the dorms, skipping the coffee, I just want to sleep. I feel like a snail, I’m practically crawling back. Halfway down the hall, I see someone standing by my door. My eyesight is terrible, I can’t see anything more than 6 feet in front of me. I try to focus my gaze, figuring it was another dude my roommate was banging. As I get closer, my heart speeds up, I see him, my boyfriend, and I very nearly knock him over as I plow into him with a hug. 

“Oh my god, what are you doing here?”

He smiled, god, I love his smile, I missed it.

“Surprise!”

I felt tears welling up in my eyes, I couldn’t believe it. He was really here. 

All I could do was stare at him, study his face, the color of his eyes, his pink lips, the way the front of his hair has a little curl to it. I barreled myself into him again, squeezing as hard as I could. I don’t care if we just stay like this for however long he’s here, I don’t want to let him go. 

He pulled back, placing his hands on either side of my face. 

“Are you alright sweetheart?” 

I sniffled, realizing I had actual tears dripping down my face. 

“I just, I really missed you.” “I’m so glad you’re here.”

“I was going crazy not being able to talk to you, I’ve been miserable.” “My mam got sick of me, I was kind of being a dick, so she bought me a bus ticket to come for the weekend.”

I grabbed his hand, pulling him into my room. My legs were starting to get weak, the walk to the dorms is a bit aways from campus, and I hadn’t slept proper in weeks. A yawn slipped out, maybe I should have grabbed that coffee after all. 

“Bored of me already?” A cheeky smile spread across his face

“Sorry, I’ve had a rough couple of weeks, I’m just a little tired.”

I moved closer, sitting on his lap, wrapping my arms around his neck, pressing my forehead to his.

“I’m so so so so so happy you’re here, I can’t even tell you how much.” I could feel my eyes watering again, I really was draining myself so much that I’d become an emotional mess. 

He wiped my stray tears away with his thumb, and gave me a gentle kiss. I wanted to stay like this forever. He felt like home, comfort, my heaven. My lips returned to his, just wanting to feel him, his body, his energy, his whole being, just close.

This feeling was so overwhelming, I stopped and just pulled him closer again, my head on his shoulder. His arms were wrapped as tight as they could be around me, rubbing my back.

He soothed me, whispering in my ear, kissing my cheek, my temple. 

Eventually I let the craziness pass, and asked what he wanted to do while he was here.

He shrugged “Really, just wanted to see you.”

I couldn’t help but smile. He brought out what I hadn’t felt in months, happiness. 

We ordered a pizza and watched movies on my laptop, while I struggled to stay awake. His body was warm, and familiar, and my eyes were drooping, and I ...was...so...tired. 

I snuggled up as close as I could get to him, his arm wrapped around me, his hand twirling around in my hair. I felt more and more relaxed as each second passed, I couldn’t fight it any longer. 

I jumped up abruptly, not knowing what day or time it was, thinking I was late for class. It took me a second as I looked at the clock that read 11:13, to figure out if it was AM or PM. 

My brain started to wake up, glancing beside me to see Taron looking at me concerned. “Are you alright love?”

“Yeah, is it morning or night?” 

“Morning, you’ve been out for 12 hours, are you sure you’re alright?”

I plopped back down, pulling him to me for a kiss, even though I’m sure my breath was terrible, I just wanted to make sure he was still there and I wasn’t dreaming. 

“Of course, I’ve not been sleeping well, and I think my body just decided to take over. I’m sorry I slept so long, is there anything you wanna see, or do today?”

“Whatever you'd like.”

I thought for a moment, unsure of where to take him. There is that bookstore/cafe I go to a lot when I need to get away from my roommate and her endless stream of men. It was late autumn, so a walk through the park to see all the beautiful colored trees and landscapes would be nice too. 

After a shower, and doing the minimum on my hair and makeup, I hurried back to my room. I didn’t want to waste any time doing anything but being with him. 

We had an amazing weekend, I took him to all my favorite places, we tried a new restaurant I’d been afraid of eating at, and crashed back at my room. We definitely made up for lost time, I forgot how incredible he felt and what he could do to me and my body. It was almost enough to make me quit school and go back home with him. 

Sunday afternoon was upon us, and I dreaded sending him off. I just hope this feeling would linger after he’s left, enough to keep me going for another month until winter break.    ��               

He gave me the sweetest kiss and whispered that he loved me, and then he was gone, like he was never there at all.

I had the urge to chase after the bus, and beg him to stay with me, just for a little while, but my brain was too rational and instead, I sat on a nearby bench and text him all the things I couldn’t say before he left. Have a safe trip, text me when you get there, thank your mom for me, I already miss you, I can’t wait until winter break…

The next month plodded along, it felt like a damn eternity. I worked extra hard on my assignments, I needed the distraction. I packed as much as would fit in my suitcase and took a taxi to the bus station. It took a few hours to get home, which of course, felt like days, I just wanted to relax for a few weeks. My stomach was in knots with every mile closer. 

The last time I spoke to Taron was 2 weeks ago, I hadn’t gotten a moment to call him, and he must have been on the same schedule, because I’ve heard nothing from him, not even a text. 

We had one phone call the week he returned back to London, but he was distracted, at rehearsal, every time I tried to say something, he’d yell back to someone in the background, laugh, apologize, say a few words, and repeat. I’d gotten frustrated and told him to just go back to whatever he was doing, I wanted to hang up on him, but I knew I’d regret it after 5 minutes.

He seemed so distant, and after the weekend we had, I thought that would bring us closer after all that time apart. But...guess not.

I did text him a couple of days ago to remind him I’d be in on Saturday afternoon, and couldn’t wait to see him. But, no reply. I was a little upset, but really, I just wanted to get home and wrap myself around him. I’m sure there was a good explanation. 

I finally arrived, running the moment I caught a glimpse of my mom. Again, my emotions were flooding out of me and couldn’t help but cry and squeeze the living daylights out of her. 

The house looked different, but the same, that weird being away thing that affects your thinking. I text Taron, telling him I’d made it back, and was looking forward to seeing him, again. Mom made the best meal I’ve eaten in months, I caught up with my sister, going over the latest high school drama. 

I kept checking my phone, every other second, waiting, but still nothing. I was starting to worry, and run through a thousand ridiculous scenarios, which caused my awful feeling to build. 

I snuck away for a moment, and tried to call him, but it went straight to voicemail. It was becoming too late to go anywhere to see if he was home or ...who knows where. 

I felt awful, my stomach wouldn’t stop twisting, making me nauseated. I didn’t know what was happening, or why he hasn’t even contacted me in weeks. As tired as I was, I knew I wouldn’t be able to sleep, emotions, for a lack of a better word, suck.

I threw on a jacket and flittered out to sit on the front porch with a cup of coffee. I tried to pick out the constellations I could spot, text some of my friends to plan a meet up, and tried Taron again. Same straight to voicemail. I was halfway between detrimental anger and wanting to cry my eyes out. It was just about midnight, and I had no idea what to do. Everyone in the house was asleep, I felt completely alone. 

I raided the bathroom cabinet to find something to knock me out, I definitely was going to need help falling asleep. I found some allergy meds that were supposed to make you sleepy, I crossed my fingers downing 2 pills. It kinda worked, I passed out for a couple of hours, but woke up with a racing heart around 3am. My phone blinded me, lighting up with a text.

Taron - ‘See you soon xx’

I stared at the screen, waiting for more, something else, an apology, an explanation, that he missed me, anything but some generic ass, nondescript text. 

“Are you fucking kidding me?”

I threw my phone, thankfully it landed on my area rug and not the wood floor. I was so pissed. After 3 weeks, that’s all he has to say? 

My mouth was dry and I had a terrible taste on my tongue, I darted downstairs for a drink, trying my hardest not to grab caffeine. I poured a glass of milk, and grabbed some cookies, I guess I was hungry too. 

Halfway up the stairs, I almost dropped my glass when my phone started chirping, loudly. Taron.

I should ignore it, like he’s been ignoring me. I watched it for a moment, and sighed answering.

“Yes?”

“Baaaaaaabyyyyyyyy, where are you?” He was clearly drunk.

“Taron, I’m home, remember?”

“Come see me, I’m…” The sound was muffled and I heard shuffling, then laughter.

“Oops, I dropped you.”

I rolled my eyes, my anger turning red hot. He was out, getting wasted, and hasn’t even attempted to contact me. 

“Taron, It’s 3am, I’m going to bed.”

More laughter and voices in the background. 

“Taron?” “Hello?’ 

“Sorry, where are you love?”

His speech was slurred, and quick. 

“Home, in bed.”

“Bed, ooh, what are you wearing?”

“Goodnight Taron.”

I waited for him to say something, but I just heard some people in the background laughing more and mumbling things I couldn’t make out.

“Ok, bye then.” I hung up, frustrated and upset. 

A minute later, my phone was lit up with another call. I ignored it. 

And another.

He left a voicemail, I couldn’t make out half of what he was saying. 

He tried to call again. I shut off my phone and took some deep breaths to calm down. 

I woke up to the smell of bacon and pancakes. My nose carried me downstairs, only to find Taron in the kitchen with my mom, shoving a cinnamon roll into his mouth.

“Mornin sunshine!”

I glared at him, pouring myself some orange juice. He came up behind me, crossing his arms around my waist, whispering in my ear, “Missed you.” then kissing my cheek. 

Mom excused herself sensing something off.

“What are you doing here?”

His eyes bulged. “What do you mean? I wanted to see you.”

“You wanted to see me so bad that you didn’t text or call me for 3 weeks? And then wouldn’t reply to anything either? Then you call at me fucking 3am drunk?”

He sighed, rubbing his forehead. 

“Shit, I’m sorry, we had a good first show, so we celebrated.”

“Oh, good to know, maybe if I knew, I could have been there to see, but, it’s cool.”

He reached for my hand, but I withdrew, pulling my robe tighter.

“I’m sorry, I am, it’s been just really crazy lately, you know?”

“I guess.”

“Babe, come on, don’t be mad at me, please?”

He made an exaggerated sad pout, causing me to yet again roll my eyes. 

“Stop, I wanna be mad at you.”

Honestly, looking at him, and those ridiculous puppy dog eyes he was giving me, was breaking me down. 

He kissed my cheek “Come on.” *kiss* “Let’s eat.” *kiss* “I’ve missed you.” *kiss* “You look so cute with your hair a mess.” *kiss* “I’m so happy you’re home”

“Alriiiiight, stop.” He was so damn charming, he could get away with murder. I couldn’t help the grin spreading across my face. 

He kissed my lips, and grabbed my hand to lead me to the table.

We spent the next couple weeks glued to one another, the only time we were apart was a few hours on the weekends when he had a show to do, he slept over almost every night. 

I found some time to hang out with some of my girlfriends, do some shopping, catch up on our lives. I still had 3 more weeks at home, and I couldn’t have been happier, and avoiding every thought that entered my mind about going back.

Taron’s break was much shorter than mine, so time with him after that was few and far between. He did invite me to one rehearsal, that was fun. The rest of the time I just lounged as much as I could, read a few books, and mapped out my new classes. 

It was my last weekend home, thinking about going back to school was making my stomach turn. I didn’t want to leave. 

Taron took me out for a semi-fancy dinner the night before I had to head back. We, of course, again, promised each other things would be ok, and to never let more than a week go by without speaking. We had every good intention to.

We ended up at a pub for a few drinks with all our friends, I wasn’t going to see anyone again for 6 months. I didn’t want to be hungover on the long bus ride back, so I kept it to a minimum. Can’t say the same for Taron though. I had to basically carry him to the taxi and then to his doorstep. I was a little disappointed that this was our last night together, and I couldn’t even talk to him properly. I got him to his bed, covered him up and sat down beside him. His eyes were closed, but not yet passed out. I pushed his hair back from his forehead, running my fingers along his cheekbones, lips, jawline. I wanted to memorize every piece of him.

His eyes sprung open, a silly grin on his face, and pulled me down to him. “I love you.” He gave me a rough kiss on my cheek and was out for the rest of the night. I gave him a gentle kiss on his lips, took one last look and made my way out.

Another sleepless night was ahead of me, I felt different, I didn’t know exactly what ‘it’ was, but I knew it felt like a change. 

The drive to the bus station was quiet, save for the dripping rain down the windows. I hugged mom goodbye, and she promised to come visit me soon. 

Back at the dorm, it felt empty, and cold. I unpacked, and just laid in my bed staring at the ceiling. I hadn’t even looked at my phone since before I left. Of course, there were messages from him.

Taron - “Are you still here?”  12:42pm

“Please tell me I didn’t miss you leaving?” 12:55pm

“I’m so sorry, I swear, I didn’t mean for the night to go like that.” 1:14pm

“Text me, call me when you get there, please.” 1:47pm

“I miss you, it feels so empty when you’re gone.” 3:02pm

“Are you home yet?” 4:55pm

“Please call me.” 5:33pm

The last text was just my name and a sad emoji. 6:01pm

There were a few missed calls from him, and only one voicemail, no words, just a few seconds of a sigh, and a *click*

I was tired, I still had one more day before school started again, and I was going to use it for sleep. 8:35pm

I woke up too early the next morning, and needed the coffee I had been avoiding at home. I threw on whatever was visible on my floor, threw on a beanie and headed out the door. 

My phone was dead, I must have forgotten to charge it. Oh well. 

The coffee was so hot, and exactly what I needed. I took the long way back, opting for a few detours through the city. It was lightly raining, and chilly, but somehow it felt like the best thing ever at that moment.

I gazed at the dead, bare trees, the grey, gloomy sky, and the droplets of water gently plopping to the ground, it was beautiful. Even though everything was dead, decaying, it would be reborn, and more glorious than before. No, this wasn’t some metaphor for my life, or maybe it was. I don’t know. 

When I returned back to the dorms, my roommate was back, unpacking. We exchanged some light words, and she headed out, leaving me to my own devices again. I binged watched some Netflix shows, and avoided charging my phone. It was still in my handbag, and I didn’t feel like getting up. I passed out early, awaking the next morning right on time to start my new semester.

Eventually, my phone was revived, strangely it took me a few days to even bother. A few messages cascaded in, from mom, my sister, one of my friends, and only one from Taron. 

Taron - “I’m sorry.” Monday 1:37am

I called mom, assuring her everything was fine, caught up with my sister, replied to my friend, and left the last message unanswered.

I didn’t know what to say right now, and I needed more time to think before I decided to say anything. 

A few weeks passed, surprisingly that black cloud lightened, and the sun came out. I was doing extremely well in all my classes, and I had met a few new people from my dorm hall, and my psychology class. I started to go out more, enjoy life, find myself. I took an art class even though I have no artistic talent, I hoped maybe it was hidden. 

I felt a heaviness over me at times, I hadn’t replied to Taron at all. I had to eventually, either resolve it, or just ...no, I didn’t want to think about it. I was in a sort of bubble, and I didn’t want to burst it, not yet.

I dialed his number, listening to the multiple rings before his voicemail hit. 

“Hey...we need to talk, umm, yeah, call me when you get this.” I hung up before I changed my mind.

Around 9pm I heard a knock at my door. His hair, and clothes were soaked. His face was covered in worry and somberness. 

I stood there, in awe for a moment. 

“Get in here.” 

I grabbed a towel,  handing it to him. 

“What are you doing here?” This felt familiar.

He just looked at me, mouth open, taking a moment, while attempting to dry himself off.

“What’s going on?” “What’s happening?” “I’m worried.”

I sighed, I honestly had no idea what to even say. 

“Take off your clothes.”

He raised an eyebrow, looking amused.

“They’re soaked, You’re not sitting on my bed all wet.”

I dug through my drawer, finding a t-shirt and oversized pajama pants for him to put on.

“Why haven’t you answered any of my calls, or messages?” “Is everything alright?”

I remained quiet, still not sure of what was going on myself. 

“I don’t know.” was all I could come up with.

“You don’t know what?”

“Anything.”

It was quiet for a minute.

“Things aren’t the same, don’t you feel it?”

He stared, searching my eyes, trying to understand.

“I don’t know, maybe a bit.” “But life never stays the same, things always change.”

“Yeah, they do, and …” I pinched my lips, trying to figure out how to put the next sentence together. “And I think we’ve changed, too much.”

It grew quiet again.

“I’m sorry.” was the only thing that slipped from his lips. His head down, arms rested on his knees, and his hands running through his hair.

“Don’t be, I mean, it happens, as much as we don’t want it to, it happens. It’s no one’s fault” 

“How can you be so, calm?”

“I’ve had a lot of time to think. Until right now, I didn’t know what was happening, it tore me apart, it’s been ripping me to shreds for months, ever since I first came here. I missed you so much, I spent so many nights lying awake, crying, wanting to just say forget it and go back home. I was so incredibly happy when you came to visit that day, I thought if I just waited it out, things could be good again, but things never work out like we plan.”

“I’m sorry, I swear, I didn’t mean for that night to end up like it happened, I promise, I will do anything, let’s just work this out, we can figure out how to make this work.”

I shook my head, I couldn’t. Not anymore. It was killing me, everytime he leaves, or when the phone doesn’t ring for 2 weeks, I let a little piece of him break away.

“Taron, I can’t, I just, can’t.” I was feeling that nauseous feeling creeping back in, and my heart bursting into millions of pieces. 

“Please, I know we can.” He grabbed my hands, pulling me towards him. “Look at me, please.”

I was afraid to, I knew I was either going to buckle and give in, or immediately start crying. 

He tilted my head up to him, his finger under my chin. He went on and on, trying to convince me we could make it work, that we can schedule times to talk, and we’ll visit every other weekend.

I couldn’t take it anymore, my eyes betrayed me, spilling salty tears down my cheeks.

“Taron, stop, you’re hurting me, please just let me go.”

I could barely get the words out, I was out of breath, I felt ill, I couldn’t stop bawling.

I turned away, trying to calm myself. He came around to face me, placing his hands on my face, gazing deep into my eyes. “I’m so sorry, I never meant to hurt you, I’m sorry.” Tears were forming in his eyes, making them glisten. He gave me one last lingering kiss on my forehead, grabbed his things and walked out the door. 

[faecaptainofdreams]

"When I woke up that morning, I felt good, like REALLY good. My vision felt super sharp, I woke up really easily, I just felt good. But when I went to the bathroom and tried to get ready for school, I kept accidentally breaking things. First, I kid you not, I accidentally broke the cabinet mirror off the frame. I panicked when that happened, and then my hand was stuck to it for a minute! I was like, 'what is going on?!?!' So then I reached for the doorknob and it broke off. That was when I suddenly remembered what had happened the day before... My bite didn't hurt anymore, and I had these patterns. I had to think up some stupid excuse about where they came from, so I went with henna tattoos. I even bought a kit for it later just to make it that much more convincing. So yeah, um, explaining that both the mirror and the doorknob broke at the same time when I was trying to brush my teeth was funny. But like, Ben and May's first thoughts obviously weren't gonna be 'Oh huh, maybe our nephew has super powers all of a sudden.' " You know what I mean? Hah hah! Yeah, so they just thought it was...pfft...a -- a whacky coincidence. After I destroyed the bathroom -- hah -- I went back to my room and kinda started panicking? Sometimes when I walked, my feet would catch on the floor, 'cos of the hairs. And I could hear everything. It wasn't like everything I heard was hurting my ears, I was just hearing a LOT. The fabric of my shirt against my skin, the tiniest rustles, and at one point May, I think, walked by my bedroom and I could feel her footsteps. It just felt like I was tingling all over with all this...uh...sensory input, it was dreadful. I could've probably heard a bird fart outside my window, okay, not gonna lie. Well in that time, I totally forgot that I had to go to school. So Ben knocks on the door -- which scares the shit out of me -- and is like 'Peter, you ready? Are you gonna eat?' And I was like, CRAP! So I had to fight with my clothes a little but I threw on a random outfit, ran a comb through my hair and skipped breakfast, and didn't have my teeth brushed on account of breaking the bathroom. I mean I was hungry, but that wasn't really my priority. I barely even ate at lunch, I just couldn't stomach it. When I came out of my room, Ben was like, 'You don't look so good, bud,' so I told him I thought I actually slept too much, because I had gone to bed at like eight the night before. Said I just didn't have my head in the game. When we got in the car... Oh, my god. Every little noise, every -- every little...THING, it was just, like... I mean it felt like I'd never ridden in a car before. The buckle startled me, the windows being adjusted startled me, and I could still feel and hear all my clothing shifting on my person, and feel all these little vibrations. When we shut our doors I about wet myself, it was -- it sucked, okay, hah hah! For one thing, I'm shocked I didn't break the door, but... Again, though, nothing was hurting me; it was just SO much to take in. I could only guess that this was what it felt like to be hungover without the headache, dizziness and nausea. Basically, in my vicinity, if it could be heard or felt, I heard and felt it. On the way to school I was... Oh -- it was SO messed up. Ben was trying to talk to me and I had to force myself to pay attention. All the colors of everything seemed a tiny bit enhanced, and again my vision, it was just SO crisp. So I'm looking at all these cars and people, hearing way too many peoples' music jamming, Ben had the radio on kinda low, and holy -- when we were in idle, WOW. I could feel that vibration all over my body. Vibrations can get really painful for me after a bit, but in the car I was just sort of irritated. I started having major anxiety about school, because I knew that was going to be a sensory overload. I was right. Paper rustling, feet scuffing, the talking, ALL the vibrations of people walking. And like, at one point during the day, there was a spider somewhere, and the freaky thing was I knew it. I could feel it, it was weird. It was impossible to concentrate, then Ned was trying to hang out with me and I was just like '...!!!' UHH!! Hah hah! He was like 'Dude, are you okay?' And I was like 'Yeah, I slept bad, had some messed up dreams,' and then tried to make myself focus. I really thought about telling him, I really wanted someone to know because I was so scared. I started wondering if I was slowly transforming into a spider, or if I was going to get sick or die or if this was actually just it. Couldn't tell if I'd mutated or was still mutating, it was scary. So you have all this sensory input, school work, and trying to keep it a secret. Honestly, I'm not sure why I felt the need to hide it? It would've been different if I was fighting crime, but I wasn't. I was just a kid that got bit by some spider because the scientists at the tech center were really negligent, apparently. But yeah, I was really scared. In English class, we were studying and everyone was kinda whispering to each other. So the teacher comes up to me and he's like, 'Pst, Peter. You okay?' And I was all nervous but was like 'Yeah, why...?' He goes, 'You look like you need to throw up...out of both ends.' HAH hah hah! I just looked around because I could hear him SO clearly, I thought surely EVERYONE else in the room could hear him. They didn't, though, so I just told him I slept bad. He asked if I needed to go to the nurse, I said 'no.' He kinda lingered there for a minute, I think he thought I was on drugs or something, but he finally left me alone. It was a few days before I realized my sticky hands and feet meant I could literally climb anything. So I did that in my room. I started spending more time in my room, because I was trying to figure out what all I could do and stuff. Ben and May were like, 'Why are you always in your room all the time?' And I told them I just needed some alone time, or I just needed to de-stress from school. Which was true, I mean besides Flash traumatizing me on a daily basis, the sensory input was just...too much. I needed to just be somewhere quiet. Well when I told Ben this, he just smiled and was like 'Ohhh, I getcha. Just remember to lock the door,' and I was just like... Ben... No... I couldn't figure out why I had the markings on my wrists, but then I started getting these urges to make -- you know, my little...rock and roll-looking sign that I do? So I did that, and a frickin' web shot out! So I had this big web thread in my room and had to tear it down, and I was just in there freaking out like HUH?! And that was how that started. Then came the reflexes, the spidey-sense, all these crazy little things, weird urges that I had to not react to, like how I clean my face and stuff. I had to re-learn how to deal with my environment. I got used to it after a couple weeks, and something that really helped me -- and still helps me now, is just focusing on one little thing. I can tune out a LOT of stuff most of the time, which is good. When I started getting the hang of it was when Ben died. I felt awful, like you know, because I thought I should've stopped it from happening -- and I still feel that way. But what was really hard also was the fact that...he never knew, and I never got to tell him about my powers. I wanted to tell everyone, but like I said, for some reason I just...didn't. And then when Ben died, I was sad, because I thought it would've been nice to tell him before that happened. But looking back, I also feel like maybe if I had told him, then I'd be miserable because the one person I told died, and it, that... It's like a damned if you do, damned if you don't sort of thing. There was really no winning with that. So when he died, I felt really guilty about him having not known about the powers, so every day I'd say to myself 'I have to tell someone, I have to tell someone,' but I knew Ned couldn't keep it a secret and May was having a hard time with Ben, and I didn't wanna stress her out. Then I thought about the mutant school, Xavier's school, and thought about how my life might change and how I didn't want that. Then I started fighting crime, and it was like... Well I can't tell anyone now, because it wouldn't be safe for May or Ned, or anyone who got close to me. And yeah, all this going on on top of puberty? Fun stuff! Loved that. It was...it was a tough year. But I figured it out, it's good now. Everything's good, finally. I feel good. I'm really happy, I feel really...blessed, I guess? It's good, I love my life now, hah." -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------------------------ (having Autism totally be like ^) XD Like the sensory thing but actually agonizing.

[lampmeeting]

what are your headcanons for magnus's backstory? i really enjoy picking apart underdeveloped villains to see what makes them tick and building up backstory that Explains why they do the shit they do and... you seem to also have many thoughts about magnus

ohhh!! yes i have thoughts! :D i still haven’t delved super in-depth into his past but here’s some VERY LONG messy, rambly stuff that’s like partially ideas i’ve had already and partially things i’m pulling right out of my ass (seriously this is long i’m sorry haha)

first big thing is that his dad was a really loving, warm person. just a big tall friendly dude, kind of a free spirit, also a veteran (fought in korea maybe? i think that timing would work out if magnus was born in the early 60s). he died in a motorcycle accident when magnus was like 9 or 10. maybe magnus was on the bike with him but survived, not sure how sad i wanna go here. his mom, who had always struggled with depression, fell into a really dark period and magnus tried to be there for her but he was just a grieving little kid. :( 

he has an older half-sister from his dad’s first marriage, and she was about 17 when he died and then left the family because she couldn’t deal with it (i don’t think magnus really reconnects with her in any significant way until after dethklok kicks him out).

i’m lifting this straight from marc maron but he’s jewish since his mother was jewish. his mom wasn’t religious though (at least when he was younger). about a year or so after his dad’s passing, though, his mom meets a man through her job and ultimately marries him. magnus’ step-dad is just...awful. very strict catholic. very controlling of his mom. the guy has magnus baptized shortly after the marriage. magnus goes through a really intense satanism phase in his teens as a way to rebel (this is also when he gets into metal - it’s the mid-70s so alice cooper and black sabbath are his faves). even as an adult magnus has a weird, complicated relationship with religion. he’d call himself an atheist but he has periods when he’s more of a misotheist and then other periods where he’s, like, afraid of god. it’s all very complicated.

after high school he decides to enlist in the army just like his dad did. he has no fucking idea what to do with himself so he thinks if it worked for his dad, it’ll work for him. wrong haha, he hates it. he picked up smoking and drinking in his teens, but the army amps those vices up to 11 and he starts experimenting with drugs too, mostly acid. surprise surprise, he gets in trouble for buying shit off-base from an undercover cop, and he’s dishonorably discharged. :O

his step-dad doesn’t allow him to come live back home after that, and his mom just defers to him now, so magnus spends a while living out of his truck. it’s a bleak time. he’s in his early 20s. all he’s got is his car and his guitar and a few other possessions. starts busking. for him, it’s humiliating work. spends most of his money on cigarettes and alcohol. somehow he ends up gigging at a local dive bar and gets a job washing dishes in the back. over the next few years he’s in and out of various bands, but he never really saves enough money to get a place. it’s kind of his weird secret, that he’s still living in the truck. he has a few relationships with various people, some bandmates, some fans, one coworker. they only ever last a couple months or so until they get too close and magnus starts itching to be by himself again, even though he’s miserable alone. but that’s preferable to having someone in his space all the time, knowing his business.

it’s during this time, too, that he picks up his heroin habit from a bandmate (that’s why the band dissolved, they all got addicted) but he tells himself he’s got it under control (the mental gymnastics with this man...). eventually he decides he’s done with bands, he’s just gonna play solo since he’s obviously more talented than anyone he could possibly play with. makes a pretty good name for himself, plays some local events, has a few solo albums that do all right, but no mainstream attention or anything.

it’s pickles who reaches out to him when magnus is in his early 30s (it’s like 1994 or something). wants to know if he’s at all interested in going back to his metal roots because they just had to get rid of their previous lead guitarist due to heroin addiction. magnus admits he’s interested, comes to a practice session. the guys are all phenomenal, and magnus sees some serious dollar signs. dethklok starts getting huge pretty quickly after that. they ditch their older manager at magnus’ insistence that he’s holding them back, and pickles knows a guy and gets him on board (hello charlie!). they all buy into a huge apartment so they can live and practice in the same place. there’s talk of a recording contract. everything’s looking up, even if they’re all starting to bicker behind the scenes.

it’s around this time that magnus hears from his step-dad that his mother died. a month ago. it was a lovely funeral, but he didn’t want magnus there due to his history with drugs, didn’t want him to make a scene and “act crazy”. after that magnus begins to slip. his addiction and depression spiral. he’s blowing up at people left and right, feels out of control. the only thing he thinks he can control is the band, and his grip tightens hard. he butts heads with pickles quite a bit, who definitely suspects something bad is up with him. magnus fears there’s talk of getting rid of him, and his paranoia makes him try to assert even more control.

finally we reach That Night. we know what goes down. magnus finds himself kicked out with his gear, homeless again, face busted. he gets in his truck, shoots up, goes for a drive for a while, feels good. when he comes down, though, he’s furious and his face fucking hurts and he wants to fucking kill something. he drives back to the apartment, finding everyone either out or asleep. he makes a move for nathan’s bedroom door, intent on finishing the job, but he doesn’t. and then he just gets pissed off at himself, wrecks up the place, and drives away again. he keeps telling himself he should just drive off the road and end it, but he doesn’t, and when he crosses state lines into new mexico he realizes he’s been driving to his half-sister’s house this whole time. they’d talked occasionally over the years but not much, but the moment he knocks on her door she takes him in with no questions asked. he doesn’t want any doctors so she just tends to his face as best she can, and when he starts to detox she looks after him. his sister makes her living as a reiki healer and is super into crystals and meditation and stuff, so while he’s living with her she tries to help him get his energies all aligned and whatnot hahaha... she’s also a recovered addict so no alcohol or drugs in the house. it’s a really weird time for magnus, but it’s good too. he probably ends up living with her for a few years, just keeping a low profile, playing guitar, trying to heal from shit.

dethklok gets huge very, very quickly. he tries not to pay attention but soon enough he’s seeing billboards for their album and tour, interviews on TV, magazine covers. a documentary comes out on MTV about the history of the band, and there’s a whole section about magnus with photos of him and people talking about how angry and controlling he was. they interview the band, people he played with in the past, old flames. his sister says she was approached for it, but she declined to comment. magnus is distraught, and almost overnight every time he goes into town for anything someone recognizes him and gives him shit (or worse, recognizes him and wants him to tell them all about dethklok). he gets things thrown at him, gets his tires slashed, gets approached for sex but only because of his connection to the band. dethklok fans at this point are getting even more zealous.

he has a really bad night and considers just shaving his head and beard so he won’t be recognized, but he can’t bring himself to do it. he starts drinking again, hiding it from his sister, and eventually just leaves in the middle of the night without a word. calls her in the morning when he reaches a stopping place, apologizes, confesses he’s off the wagon. she wires him some money, a pretty significant amount, and tells him to get an apartment and take care of himself. magnus, surprisingly, does just that. he feels it’s the least he can do to repay her kindness.

he still drinks, but i don’t think he gets back into drugs until he starts doing the rock camp thing years later. being around those old washed-up musicians and being “ex-dethklok guitarist magnus hammersmith” makes him feel like shit, even if the money is good, and most of these dudes are still using. heroin’s not chic anymore, though, it’s all about pills.

the assassin knows exactly what he’s doing when he shows himself to magnus on the anniversary of his mother’s death. offers him a chance to take his life back, to help change the world, to make sure dethklok gets what’s coming to them once and for all. magnus had all but given up hope on ever escaping from their shadow, but this...the assassin makes some sense, so in the middle of the night he agrees, and in the morning he finds an address scrawled on the wall in blood. and the rest is history i suppose. :’)

[nodesiretogrowup]

LET’S GET READY TO RE-CAAAAAAAAP

“I have numerous science-based questions” I mean, same. It also sets up that Huey is gonna be out of his element this episode

SCROOGE HAS NO TIME FOR SCIENCE

“I AM THAT CHAMPION.” A bit full of yourself there. I couldn’t hear this line without saying “I’M. THAT. HERO.” Oh VeggieTales, you’ll always be with me

THEY ALL LOOK SO ADORABLE!!

I like that Louie does a finger gun when Scrooge gets to him

Like I said earlier, I DO NOT care Scrooge already putting pressure on these kids

Poor Dewey seems like he’s the unfavorite, which is probably how Donald felt as well

Huey makes a good point and I do NOT like how dismissive Scrooge is of the twins

That being said...they totally killed someone in battle

SOMEDAY WE’LL FIND IT, THE RAINBOW CONNECTION!

Why didn’t Launchpad crash? I know he can land w/o crashing but it’s usually when he lands in water. THIS FEELS IMPORTANT SOMEHOW though it probably isn’t

“THEY FOUND A WAY TO MAKE RAINBOWS BETTER!” God, I love Webby

“This is the best day.” WEBBY, YOU ARE REACHING CRITICAL LEVELS OF ADORABLE

Birds with beards look odd

“Yeah, sure. Of course.” Poor Huey, magic and mythology aren’t his strong point

I love that it says Odin’s Closet over the shirts. It’s the little details

“Guess Louie knows what Louie’s doing today.” And then he disappears into the shirts. I can appreciate someone who knows what they’re about

I want ALL the shirts from this episode!

“WHOA, IT’S WRESTLING!” He looks so dang happy, it’s ADORABLE

“THIS IS AWESOME!” Chanting is fun

“So these guys just copied professional wrestling?” Huey, you’re form of logic is not welcome here

Does that mean Scrooge told someone about his battles and inspired them to create pro wrestling? I’m gonna go with that

“And they will love me for it!” Dewey, sweetie, that’s only how it works half the time

I loved all the man-snake stuff. Made me giggle

Man snake be THICC. HOT DAMN

I love the little pig ref. HE’S SO CUTE

Jormungandr knows how to pump up a crowd

So, like, is everyone in the audience technically DEAD?! That makes this episode slightly darker. I dig it

 I wonder if Jormungandr sees Earth’s destruction as a good thing for Earth. Like if he genuinely thinks they’d be better off in Valhalla. Or if he’s just a bastard who wants to watch the world burn

Scrooge is a bit too into playing the heel

The way Scrooge moves and the faces he makes as the Millionaire Miser remind me of Glomgold

“I watch a lot of wrestling while I fly.” “Wait, while?” This exchange always cracks me up

“Uncle Scrooge is the greatest hero of all time.” “Huh, I guess not everyone thinks so.” I feel like this is foreshadowing later events

RIP Announcer Puffin

“DIBS ON ANNOUNCING!” A dude just got KO’d bro! Have a bit of respect

And the return of the dynamic sports announcer duo. Glad Huey got his badge

I NEED MORE WRESTLING ANNOUNCER LP

Strongbeard is DOPE

“How did you know that?” “Just calling it like I see it. WRESTLING!” The real reason Launchpad knows is because he’s actually Thor but doesn’t remember. I WILL DIE ON THIS HILL

FEAR THE BEARD

“What matters is I’m doing the right thing.” I don’t know, you really seem to enjoy being a heel

This whole match is great

Dewey, there ARE NO RULES IN WRESTLING. Plus you aren’t the ref, so you can’t make that call

I have very inappropriate jokes go through my head when only one arm absorbs the beard energy

“I am so confused.” CONSTANT MOOD

DID SCROOGE NARUTO RUN AT STRONGBEARD?!

I like that Scrooge dives onto him the same way he dives into his bin

LP is so excited he pushes Huey out of the way for NO REASON

HOLY FUCK THAT DUDE THREW A CHAIR AT A CHILD!

All the bone cracking in this episode made me uncomfortable, as in my bones hurt during it

“He is such a good guy.” I’d say he’s a fair guy, not necessarily a good guy

“Which two of you will fight for me?” Webby has been waiting for this moment her WHOLE LIFE

Louie, always taking time to make that money

Who gave him a shirt cannon?!

I love that the dude comes up wearing the shirt

Dewey just slaps Scrooge in the face

Champ POPular! Too cute! I love his hair and outfit. Though I don’t think Champ POPular’s “too popular to hate.” If anything he might annoy people due to his popularity

I thought he was gonna pull out yo-yos as his “finishing touch” and I was sad when it was lollipops even though that makes more sense. BRING BACK THE YO-YOS!

“Do all the fighting and make sure he doesn’t die.” That is a valid concern

WE WILL WE WILL ROCK YOU! I’D KNOW IT ANYWHERE

Huey taking notes is adorable

“Just in time for the tag-team round.” “Wait, they’re playing tag now?! MAN!” I love how Danny says MAN

How does Huey not know what a tag-team is? It’s a pretty common term

I love Launchpad’s reading face

Dewey has red, blue, and green lollipops. Cute

“HE’S THROWING LOLLIPOPS BECAUSE HE THINKS WE’RE SUCKERS!” That took me off guard and I laughed so hard

“I’ve known you my whole life, I kinda knew how this would play out.” Louie is genre savvy. Perhaps too savvy. He’s gonna figure out he’s in a tv show

“More like Champ POP..ulation zero because he has no friends...in Friendtown.” I fail to see how that was any worse than LP’s “more like Champ UN-POPular.”

“WE HATE YOU NOW!” Tough crowd

Huey’s face after that. I just want to pinch his lil cheeks

WEBBY DON’T NEED NO WRESTLER NAME

It TOTALLY went over my head that they censored Hela with Hecka (at least they used her better than the MCU did. WE COULD HAVE HAD SO MUCH BETTER)

I would let her pin me to the mat and crush my skull in

“Oh, COME ON, THIS is what you like?! A creepy goth and her pet dog!” SHUT UP, DEWEY, THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT I WANT! I’m surprised Webby didn’t slap him for the “creepy goth” comment seeing as Lena is goth and misunderstood

“HECKA YEAH! HECKA YEAH!” SHE’S SO COOL AND SEXY AND SHE HAS A DOG

Poor Huey, he’s doing his best. Hope he takes a shower later because he got pretty sweaty

HECKA COULD STEP ON ME AND I’D SAY THANK YOU

Why did Huey have all those corn puns?

“YOU’RE THE WORST! YOU’RE THE WORST!” It’s just not Huey’s day

“You don’t have to try to make it sound great, it already is.” Did this remind anyone else of Dewey’s “don’t overthink it” advice to Launchpad from Double-O Duck? He’s doing his best to help Huey

I WANT HECKA TO DESTROY ME

“EMBRACE THE BOOZE BOOS.”

Poor Dewey

WEBBY IS A BEAST! SHE WAS BORN FOR THIS!

“EMBRACE YOUR INNER HEEL!” Cuz being a heel is fun!

DUDE, WEBBY TOOK DOWN THE GODDESS OF DEATH WITH NOTHING BUT HER LEGS AND THIGHS! WE STAN!

I like that Fenny has knee pads on

“AW, YOU’RE SO DANGEROUS AND CUTE! I JUST WANT TO PET YOUR LITTLE BELLY!” WEBBY IS ME

“A classic ‘who’s a good boy?’ gambit!” AND I’D FALL FOR IT TOO! SUCH A GOOD BOI

“Wait, am I the Launchpad here?” Bitch, you WISH

“YOU CAN’T GIVE CANDY TO A DOG!” This is why you don’t have a pet, Dewey

“WHOA, back from THE DEAD for the QUEEN of the DEAD!”

Kind of a dick move, Louie

AIR GUITAR!

Jormungandr looks like a Masters of the Universe knock-off toy

WHO’S A GOOD BOI? YOU ARE!

“With a toxic personality” I think you’re projecting a bit, Jormungandr 

How does Huey not know what a battle royale is? That is a very common term! Hell, there is a well known book and movie with that title!

“I’m just a humble, noble snake man of the people.” Why does the term snake man make me laugh so much?  

WOY REFERENCE FTW

Dewey needs a hug! And some therapy would probably be a good idea

Scrooge’s speech started on a good note then went downhill FAST

“And lastly, I’ll use the dust of your bones as sweetener in my tea.” DAMN

“TOO FAR!” I DON’T THINK IT’S FAR ENOUGH! TELL HIM HOW YOU WILL BATHE IN HIS BLOOD

FUCK YEAH BEAKLEY!

SHE GAVE HIM THE CHAIR! I think this CONFIRMS Beakley as a wrestling fan

“I know we’re supposed to take over for Scrooge one day, but do you ever wonder if maybe we’re not cut out for it?” YOU SHOULDN’T HAVE TO WONDER THOSE THINGS AT ALL! 

Louie’s like WE DON’T HAVE TIME FOR THIS SHIT!

“Be LP” My new mantra

Aw, Louie sees Dewey as a hero. Like how LP saw Drake as a hero. I think @drakepad is onto something, this scene and the fight scene seem WAAAAY too much like Drake’s intro to be just a coincidence

I keep saying this, but Louie should consider a career in motivational speaking. He knows what people need to hear

“Let’s do this!” “I don’t know.” “Let’s Dewey this?” “I’m in.”

“I’LL SHED YOUR SKIN FOR YOU!” If he hadn’t of had an old man back moment that would have been a BRUTAL CUT

OMG WAS LAUNCHPAD WEARING THAT THE WHOLE TIME? You see his clothes fly off when he jumps in the ring

“Whoa. In a COMPLETELY UNEXPECTED TWIST, the announcer was Captain Crash THIS WHOLE TIME!” LP does underground wrestling matches in his spare time, TELL ME I’M WRONG

“YOUR CATCHPHRASES ARE FORCED!” I agree, Dewey could have done WAY BETTER

I like Louie just GLARING at the dude who insulted Dewey’s catchphrase

LP looks so proud of Huey

“I don’t care at all, why should I?” Methinks the snake man doth protest too much

I like how Jormungandr’s pupils are thinner during the climax. It shows off his true nature

Dewey should have been the one to do a spin attack, ya know, cuz he’s Sonic? I’ll go now

“The Pop never Stops.” That was better

WHERE ARE ALL THESE CHAIRS COMING FROM?!

I LEGIT thought Strongbeard was gonna throw Dewey his axe and I was like Dewey wouldn’t be able to lift that

SUPER SAIYAN DEWEY! Also was that a TIGER SNARL?

I like the ice pack on Launchpad’s head. Just because he can take a lot of damage doesn’t mean that LP is immune to pain

I like that the crowd CHANGED THEIR BANNERS! Nice

LOUIE AND WEBBY LOOKED SO CUTE!

LP tearing up

“A true people’s hero” I feel like that phrase will come back in relation to other characters (cough DW cough)

Scrooge is such a little shit, it’s kind of adorable

THAT END SHOT! THAT SONG!

This was a SUPER FUN EPISODE! I couldn’t really tell where they were going and I LOVED EVERY SECOND OF IT! I wish we had gotten Huey in some wrestling gear but maybe next time. I like the message that doing the right thing isn’t always popular but I kind of feel like Dewey getting the crowd on his side muddled the message somewhat. Poor Dewey needs therapy or something so he doesn’t feel like he needs CONSTANT approval. Again, he’s 11 YEARS OLD and shouldn’t be put into such a serious position. LP was VIP this episode. I’m bummed we’re on hiatus again, but WHAT an episode to end on!

[buckinviteseddie]

911 Week 2020, Day 6: “"I'm not going" + angst

Read it on AO3

Buck was tired of it all. He couldn't stand seeing people leave his life anymore, he couldn't stand being left behind anymore, that hurt him in a surreal way. Abby had left him without even having the decency to say she would never come back to him, Ally simply left because she couldn't deal with the life he had at work and finally had Maddie who abandoned him when he needed it most. Even though he currently knew why she had left, it still hurt to remember all the sleepless nights of anxiety and all the humiliating moments he had to spend with his parents. And in the end he had no one to count on, the only person he could really count on, who was his older sister, had abandoned him. Everyone around him abandoned him at one time or another and Buck was really tired of it, the mental exhaustion was huge and he couldn't understand why he was always left behind. And finally there was the fact that he was in love with his best friend and he knew Eddie didn't feel the same way, and it killed him. Buck had a very strong friendship with Eddie and he couldn't complain about what he had. They shared great times together when it was just the two of them or when Christopher was also in the middle and anyone who saw them from outside could swear they were family and Buck couldn’t complain about what he had, but he wanted more, he really wanted to be able to build a family with Eddie, but he also knew it was impossible and so he was giving up on flirting, giving up trying to miserably show Eddie how much he was in love with him.

It had been almost an hour since Buck sat there on the bar stool swirling his glass of beer on the table and staring at nothing as he thought about all the bad things that happened and continued to happen in his life. Some people passed by randomly trying to flirt with him, but to no avail. If it was a couple of years ago in his phase that he called Buck 1.0, he would be there having fun and being with all the women and men he wanted, but he was now a more mature person and it made no sense to stay with any of these people just to drown their hurt, because whoever he really wanted wasn’t there and even if Eddie wanted nothing with him, Buck didn’t feel good about being with other people. He just wanted to drink a little and try to forget about all these problems, which in fact was not happening.

After a while Buck realized it was time to stop, as he was more than drunk and needed to go home and get some sleep, as he would have a 12-hour shift in a few hours. He called an uber and on the way he fought not to sleep in the car and ended up stopping somewhere unknown, as he was feeling exhausted and his body just wanted a soft place to relax. Buck doesn't know how he got to his apartment. He struggled a little up the stairs while his mind spun with the effect of the amount of alcohol he drank. He staggered a few times as he climbed step by step and when he finally went up to the second floor, he threw his whole body on the bed, not even bothering to change clothes, take a shower or at least take off his shoes.

***

The next day, Buck woke up with his head still spinning a little. He looked at his watch with some difficulty and realized that it was only an hour and a half before his shift started "shit", he thought before running to the bathroom and throwing up the rest of the alcohol in his stomach. He was filthy, not only from the smell of sweat mixed with alcohol on his clothes, but inside he felt rotten, that was not the life Buck wanted for him, at least not anymore. Until when it would be like this and whenever he felt depressed he would run to the first bar he could find and drink until he couldn't take it anymore.

Buck was quick to get undressed and throw in the laundry basket and throw himself in the shower while he turned on the shower and let the cold water run through his body as electricity in the form of punishment. As soon as he left the bathroom, he hurried to put on his uniform and get ready, damn he was a wreck. When he came down the stairs, he went looking for some aspirin and then took a few sips of coffee. When he was finished he took his bag and car keys and slammed the apartment door behind him.

It didn't take long to get to the station, luckily the traffic that morning was peaceful. Buck then put his bag in the closet and went to join the other teammates who were already sitting at the table having their respective breakfast.

"Wow Buckaroo, you look terrible."    Hen waved as he approached.

Buck forced an ironic smile as he approached. "Thank you".

"Good Morning".     Eddie greeted him as he took his cup and sipped his coffee.

Buck sat next to him as usual, but didn't look at him as he said, "Good morning."

You could feel the tension in the air. Everyone was silent and with each passing second the tension worsened.    "Well, I think today will be quite a day."     Chimney forced more than necessary animation.

Buck shrugged while picking up some fruit and forcing himself to eat, he was on an empty stomach so he needed to eat in order to get through the next twelve hours of work.

At a glance he could see Eddie staring at him a few times. Maybe was worried that he was physically awful, but Buck wasn't in the mood for conversation and his head was still pounding from the hangover.

"I hope the fact that you have a hangover is not a problem, Buck."     Bobby said as he joined them and handed him a full cup of coffee.     “Here, it's out of sugar. It helps to reduce the swelling of the blood vessels that cause the headache ”.

“I'm fine, cap. but thank you".     Buck took the cup of coffee and took a sip, wow it was pretty strong.    "By the way, how do you know about these things?"    He gave him a questioning look.

"Well, I was young like you and I loved going out at night to drink with friends ...".     Bobby forced a smile and turned his attention to his own plate while eating some goodies that he had prepared that morning.

Buck just shrugged, not trying to bring it up, he knew Bobby didn't like to talk about it much.

"Young people today just want to get drunk and go out and kiss everyone around."    Eddie had a certain harshness in his voice, but he gave a wry smile in Buck's direction, who flinched in defense.

Buck opened his mouth to try to defend himself from his friend's accusatory tone, but closed it in the same second. He was in such a bad mood that he didn't trust what could come out of his mouth and he didn't want to get into an unnecessary argument. He couldn't understand why Eddie was treating him like this, that he knows the only mistake he was making was being in love with his best friend.

Luckily for Buck, the rest of the day went pretty smoothly. No big calls, just simple things that didn't require much effort. His headache was gone and he was already feeling a little better. His interaction with Eddie was very little, just what they needed while on a call. Eddie seemed to notice that he was not okay, because from time to time he would cast looks that indicated he wanted to talk and know what was happening to Buck, but he was not feeling good, much less in the mood for it, even more after Eddie's comment earlier.

Buck thanked all the gods when his office hours were finally over and he could finally go home and rest and not think about anything else. As he sat on the locker room bench tying his shoelaces, he heard footsteps approaching.

"What's going on with you, Evan?"    Eddie leaned against the cupboards and stared at him with those brown eyes that made Buck melt all over just by looking.

"Nothing, dude, I just really need my bed".      Buck replied while finishing his work with the sneakers and trying not to stare at his friend and end up getting caught up in the tattered lie he had just played.     "By the way, what did you mean with that comment you made earlier?"

"Nothing. Have a good night, Buckley".     Without even waiting for an answer, he left the locker room and left.

Buck sighed deeply at the boy's reaction, he didn't know why Eddie seemed to be upset with him, but at the moment he just wanted to get to his car and go home.

When he got home, he did the entire night route he did every day. He took a shower, this time hot so he could relax his body. He ate some leftovers he found in the fridge and when he finished eating, he brushed his teeth before throwing himself on the bed and letting the tiredness and sadness go out.

***

It was dark when he woke up in alarm with the sound of his own scream. His shirt was damp with sweat as was his forehead. His breathing was labored and his chest rose and fell at a rapid speed. Buck was filling up to get as much air as possible, he was having a panic attack. He didn't know what to do, his heart pounding in his chest as he struggled desperately to find his cell phone. All the nerves in his body were shaking and the sensation was horrible, he just wanted it to stop and when he finally found it, he didn't even realize when he already had his cell phone in hand, dialing the number so familiar that he knew in his head.

He thought about hanging up the call when on the third ring when the call was answered.    "Buck?"    Eddie's voice was hoarse on the other end of the line, indicating that he was sleeping when the phone rang.

"Buck ... are you there?"    Eddie spoke as he took a deep breath with the phone to his ear.

He thought about hanging up and just dealing with the situation his own, it wasn't right for him to disturb Eddie in the middle of the night because he was having a panic attack, but at the same time he didn't know what to do.    "I need you...".     Buck replied before he even thought, his voice coming out shaky and breathless.

"Where are you?"    Eddie seemed to be getting ready, as Buck could hear what sounded like the belt buckled in his pants.

"Home...".     It was all he could to say while his whole body was shaking.

"I am on my way".     There was a sound of keys and then Eddie hung up.

Buck stayed with the phone for some time before realizing that the call was over and then tossing it on the bed. He was still struggling to breathe. His face was drenched with tears and his eyes were swollen. He then sat down and bent his legs close to his chest, wrapping both arms around them and burying his head.

What seemed like fifteen minutes passed, then Buck heard the door open and close, and after a few seconds, treaded steps up the stairs. He then raised his head and saw even with some difficulty because of the poor lighting, Eddie standing at the entrance to his room with a concerned look.

"Eds ...".    He called out with a sob.

Eddie went towards him and sit next to Buck.    "I am here".    He didn't think twice before pulling Buck close to him and wrapping his arms around him.

Buck grabbed Eddie's shirt with shaking hands as he sobbed and cried softly. He stayed that way for a few secunds, while Eddie tightened his embrace around him a little and rocked him back and forth as if he were holding a baby.

"I'm scared Eddie ..."    Buck admitted.    "I'm too scared."

“It's okay, it's okay. I am here. It was just a nightmare, I got you ”. Eddie kissed Buck on the head and then touched his cheek there.

"Please don't leave me...".     Buck's voice was almost a whisper within Eddie's embrace.

Gradually he recovered. Being in Eddie's arms gave him a feeling of protection and relief and as much as Buck was much taller than the other, at the moment he was feeling as if he were the size of a baby. What comforted him was hearing Eddie's heart in his ears and gradually his own heart was accompanying the beats and his breathing softening.

“I'm not going ... I'm not going anywhere. I'm here with you".   Eddie still shakes him in a way to comfort him.

They remained silent for some time. Just sharing each other's warmth while Eddie comforted his best friend. And that was all Buck needed right now, he needed Eddie and he went there to console him and the blond couldn't be more grateful for that.

"I'm sorry for making you come here in the middle of the night." Buck spoke as he stepped away from the embrace and composed himself.    "By the way, where's Chris?"

“You have nothing to apologize for, and don't worry about Chris. I brought him with me and put him on the couch. He's sleeping there like an angel ”.     Even in the dark Buck could see the faint smile on Eddie's face.

Buck lifted his mouth a little, struggling to return the smile, even though he didn't know if Eddie could see him.

"What's going on, Buck?"    Eddie asked cautiously, not wanting to upset Buck more than he already was.

"I'm broken Eddie."    Buck admitted.    "My head is in turmoil and I don't know how to deal with it all".

He felt his whole body shiver a little when Eddie took his hand and squeezed it gently. “Evan, be honest with me. Tell me what bothers you ”.

Buck felt his heart skip a few beats. If he hadn't had a panic attack a few minutes ago, he would be having it now. He struggled a little before throwing out what he was feeling.   "I've been thinking a lot about my life, how everyone leaves me, how I'm always left behind ...".    Buck sniffed a little as he straightened.    "And....".

"And?" Eddie asked.

Shit, that was hard.

"And ... I ... I can't handle withe the fact that in love with you."   Buck took a deep breath and continued.     “And knowing that the feeling is not mutual, it destroys me every day. It kills me to have to look at you every day and not be able to have you ”.

Buck tried to pull his hand out of Eddie's grip, but his best friend took it back.    "And who said that the feeling is not mutual?"

"What?"    Buck was confused by the turnaround.

"What I mean is that I...I'm in love with you too, Buck."    Eddie seemed to be a little embarrassed about having to expose his feelings, but he kept his hands around the boy's.    "Right after the process, I was able to understand this feeling and how much I am in love with you, I just didn't have any sign coming from you so I didn't say anything".

"I flirt with you brazenly, Eddie."    Buck snorted.

"I'm sorry, I'm not too good at these things."

"By the way, what was the reason for that earlier comment?"   A questioning look settled on Buck's forehead as he faced his friend.

"I...I was a little jealous that you went to spend the night in a bar and flirting with other people."    Eddie stuttered a little as he scratched the back of his neck and his cheeks burned with the revelation.

Buck reached with his free hand to his mouth trying to stop a laugh and not wake up Christopher who was sleeping downstairs.    “Eddie, I didn't stay with anyone, I went there to cry some sorrows and to try to forget a little about the fact that I'm in love with you. I haven't kissed someone else in a while, I just think about you. It's always you ”.

Eddie wasted no time in giving an answer, he grabbed Buck's neck and pulled him close, kissing his lips with the greatest conviction possible. At first it was an awkward kiss, his lips roaming an unknown place, but soon Buck opened his mouth and allowed Eddie's warm, soft tongue to penetrate the inside and play with his. It was a hot, ravenous kiss. As if they have been waiting for this moment for a long time. Desire and will was all that hung over them. Gradually the kiss softened and became more intense, with Buck biting Eddie's lower lip and making him moan softly. They kissed for a while, experiencing this new experience so that they were both feeling good and comfortable.

A few minutes ago Buck was feeling like he had nothing and no one, like he was trapped in an endless void, and now there he was in the arms of the person he loved and that he was hopelessly in love with and that feeling it was mutual. Buck thanked all possible superior deities as he stepped away and buried his head in Eddie's shoulder, smelling that familiar smell that made him feel at home.

"I love you, Eds."

Eddie held Buck's head in both hands while pulling him in for a light kiss on the lips, then he looked at the boy and flashed a huge smile that made Buck melt all over. "I love you, Buck."

[okaybutlikeimagine]

I thought about this in class because why not and all I could think about is Billy calling his mom everyday since she left. And Neil finding out and being Neil smashing/destroying the phone. Poor 12 year old billy saving up some how to but a new one. His mom might say she’ll be back soon but never come back so billy starts loosing hope. But once they move to Hawkins he calls her everyday but she doesn’t answer..... dude I’m so sad what the hell why did I think of this.

ohmydEAR why would you do this to yourself???? And then also to me?????????? Except i’m glad you did bc this is so sad and i’m gonna cry and i like… wanna write a fic for this almost?? But i’m also not super sure if i would know how to format it?? I just don’t know how to format this but i have SO many thoughts in my head about this.

Bc i just????? Imagine Billy calling his mom and once she stops answering, still talking to her. Sitting there w/ the phone against his ear, talking to her, saying “Mom, today sucked.” like she’s fucking there to listen. aNYWAY I made myself cry on the car ride home and in the shower over this last night and i wrote out some stuff and i’d really LOVE to write a fic about this but i don’t have a whole hell of a lot of time right now but just so you don’t think I’ve forgotten you bc it might take a while for me to write out the whole fic, I’m gonna post here what I wrote just to see if I’m being THE most dramatic person ever. Bc i feel like i am. >w

I’ve also wrote out the end but I think I’m not gonna post that????? Or i could. Lemme know if you’d read that and still read the whole fic and i can edit this and post it. Anyway, these are very rough, very short drafts of scenes I was thinking of regarding this idea. It’s all Billy talking on the phone w/ his mom except she’s not actually on the other end, he’s just talking into a phone pretending like his mom is there and fucking hell this hurts. anyway.

-

“Hey Mom… there’s this boy at school. He’s… everyone loves him. I think I would lo-... I think I would too. If I could. I don’t fucking know. Goddamnit.”

He sits there. Waits like someone’s gonna say something. Listens for her voice through the loud beeping sound that signals there’s no one there.

“You should hear the way they talk about people here who get too close. They spit on a guy today for looking at another boy for too long. I’ve gotta… I’ve gotta....”

He takes a harsh breath. Feels his eyes burn. There’s anger building up in his throat.

“Y’know, you always fucking said that love is free -that… that all love is free. But you’re a goddamn liar. So thanks.”

He hangs up harshly.

-

Sometimes Max watches and listens when he calls. He turns and sees her standing there. She’s so quiet, speaks softly and asks: “Was she nice?”

As soon as it’s out Billy is fuming.

“She fucking left.” his eyes are hard, attempting to break her with just a look. She cowers. “What do you think?”

-

Max is there. She shakes a bit when he looks at her, nervous under his gaze because it’s angered and red and miserable. Her eyes are wide. She turns away before Billy calls out: “She was nice.”

Max turns around to look at Billy but his eyes are on the ground. He’s nodding.

“Yeah.” He says, like he’s convincing himself.

-

Max shows up. She sits next to him where’s he’s sat on the ground, back against the wall, eyes threatening to water. Threatening so much they burn.

“You would have liked her.” He says. He rolls his head against the wall so he can look at her. She looks shocked, her eyes beginning to shine with their own tears. “She would have liked you, too.”

Max doesn’t know what to do. She just nods.

---

anyway i’m fucking sad and have a lot of sad ideas about this but also a bittersweet, pretty fluffy ending so welp. there ya go! if i do end up writing this as a fic i probably wouldn’t be able to until winter break from school so?????? it’ll be a while but i definitely wanna write a fic of this and also i’m sad. but thanks for this ask ohmydear ♥ wowowjwifjoe;iajfewajf;aw

[kokoro-koro]

Chapter 5 Journal Entry - Kokoro-koro

Those living kids sure seem to get up to all kinds of drama. Watching them for the last few months sure has been a whirlwind. Honestly, I’m kinda impressed how many of them are willing to kill, but I guess that’s the point of this game. Anyone can be pushed to the brink. Nice.

It’s probably kindaaaa my fault for starting things off with a bang, but oh well, am I right?

Gotta say, it definitely brought a tear to my ghostly eyes when I saw everyone mourning Kliment and Liya. I mean, those two idiots didn’t really deserve all of that, did they? How the hell did they both manage to kill each other? I mean, I get both planning a murder, but managing to target each other? Mad respect. A little sad that Ivy didn’t get one of those statues too. She’s definitely the worst victim in all of this.

Wasn’t my call. If it was, the entire palace would be flooded with statues of the wonderful Kokoro-koro’s likeness, ufufu.

Probably the wildest part of all of this was getting to come back to life for a bit. I mean, not life life, like actual life, but manifesting as a physical being. That was pretty cool. I think the other ghosts were all pretty stoked about it as well, not gonna lie. Can you blame us? Anyone stuck in an afterlife with Takeshi Taro for months on end would be thrilled with some new interaction.

Getting to see Airi again...I’m glad. It was a nightmare watching him destroy himself and struggle again and again for no reason. I always felt like I was calling out to him and he couldn’t hear me, but now he can.... I just wish he would’ve heeded my requests so much sooner. Did it really take me rising from the dead to get him to stop with the self destruction? What a dummy. I missed him, though. I’m just glad he’s still alive.

Loved seeing my darling dearest roommate again too. Ricardo sure is a card. He’s so fun to mess with. He just makes it waaaay too easy.

Seeing all the living kids get to reunite with their lost friends was honestly just so heartwarming. Brought a tear to my ghostly eye. Everyone definitely seemed confused by the newbies. Roll Call! Midori, Hana, Mika, Roseanne, Roshan, Saruhiko, Towa, Yuko, andddd...ugh, I guess Takeshi too. Almost all of them are just adorable. I think the living kids found it hard to take their eyes off us.

Especially when that damn owl made us all pretend to be in Luigi’s Mansion. She really put us through it. Who wants to get sucked up into a stuffy vacuum? Still, I think everyone bonded pretty well. Can’t believe I lost to Hanae of all people. At least I helped her secure that win. Among the humans, both Yuu and Hanae won. They looked so funny in their stupid hats. For the ghosts, Gam, Yuko, and Roseanne all failed to be captured. I expected Yuko, but that humbling idiot Gam sure was a surprise.

Before that god awful lion exorcised is all, I’m glad I got the chance to hold that event to find Airi a new best friend. I knew Raiouji wouldn’t let us stick around forever. Everyone was just too happy, but I’m glad Airi was able to forge another bond. Seeing him relate to Hanae and seeing him realize that people are always open to forgiveness was really eye opening for him. And seeing him find someone to lean on made it that much easier to leave.

Just like Karaju! Seriously, all the other bird servants died. Guess she got tired of waiting for the inevitable and peaced out. Watching that grumpy look on Raiouji’s dumb face was sooo worth it.

She wasn’t the only one trying to leave though. I have no idea who told them it would be a good idea, but Yahari tried to host their escape plan by ziplining out of the alchemy room. It baffles me they thought it would work. It really broke my heart, you know. When they tried to escape and Raiouji ruined that all. They’re just lucky their wounds weren’t worse. Can’t help but feel bad for Yahari, though. Their leg had already been in bad shape, so adding another break to that had to hurt emotionally. Though I can’t imagine Yuu or Mari had it much easier. Arm injuries are a pain in the ass. Limits everything you can do. I’d like to think Cai recovered pretty well from his concussion though! Even if he was confused at first. Having to guide Ricardo to help was such a pain though. I get he has a blood thing but still. 

We all should’ve expected Raiouji’s fun new motive. Getting exorcised was not a fun experience, I can tell you that much. I missed everyone so much, so being torn from the seams of reality felt like a bitch. Back to the same ol, same ol, getting to watch everyone from afar without them seeing me. I was already prepared to witness more dumb decisions.

And I was not disappointed! Almost immediately Airi threatened to kill Ricardo for the motive and he actually tried not to long after. Never thought I’d see a twink overpower a himbo with rope and then leave the himbo for dead. It was almost impressive. I’m at least proud of Airi for not actually going through with the murder…? The little victories.

There wasn’t much time to celebrate, however, because Azumaya’s body was found not too long after. And in the most extra way possible, too. I’d expect as much from someone of their ilk.

Before they could get to trial, Mukuro made everyone play the most baffling game of Never Have I Ever on earth. It’s almost like it had to be postponed for some reason. Weird. I think Yahari won, but I wasn’t paying much attention. I was more focused on, y’know, the murder.

Eventually they made it to trial and discovered dear little Tsuguyo was the killer all along, though she refused to admit it to the very end. Gotta admire that stubbornness. Poor kid was executed too. It wasn’t easy to watch the baby of the group suffer that fate, but there wasn’t time for anyone to rest, let alone myself. After Tsuguyo’s tragic death, Raiouji threatened to kill everyone. I think it was a joke but it didn’t matter. 

Momo just deadass exploded. Like what the hell is up with that? Tsuguyo just died! Can’t we get a break? Apparently not, because Raiouji made everyone investigate yet again for another trial. Typical bastard lion. 

And in the upcoming trial, everyone came together to discover Yahari was the culprit. Apparently the original plan was to kill Raiouji, but Yahari panicked and blew the bomb up early. That’s so sad, dude, Momo trusted you and everything. Raiouji had no issue sending Yahari to their death and everyone could only watch as it happened.

It’s become routine here.

What a miserable existence they’ve all found themselves in, but...I take solace in knowing they’ll find peace eventually. And, before I fade out, just one more thing.

I eat mayonnaise straight from the jar.

[suicidalcatz]

DOG DAYS ARE OVER : CHAP 10

Pairing : Jake Kiszka x reader

Genre : College AU

Previous parts : Prologue ; Chap 1 ; Chap 2 ; Chap 3 ; Chap 4 ; Chap 5 ; Chap 6 ; Chap 7 ; Chap 8 ; Chap 9

Masterlist : Here

AN : Oh my God I made it this far. So, I��m writing part 13 atm, it does seem extra long but the beginning of this chap is only the 26th page of my doc. It’s always a very stressful experience for me to share my fics, I think I’m really scared to disappoint you. I hope you won’t/don’t hate y/n and that she’s relatable for you, she has a lil temper. Last angst chapter before fluff, fluff and more fluff. Again, please feel free to let me know what you think of it, I love chatting with you and it can help me improve my writing ! Thanks for the love and support, and for embarking into this journey with me.

Chapter 10 : Why didn't you tell me ?

Staying wrapped in a blanket in the comfort of my bed sounded like the best week-end plan. I didn't want to do anything else, anyway. Crying was the first thing I did when coming home last night, and it lasted a good portion of the night. Mandy had follow me soon after I hurried out of the room, concern all over her features. At some point I cried myself to sleep in her arms while she silently stroke my back. It sounded overly dramatic and made me feel pathetic in addition to everything else, but I had got my hopes up so much that the fall hit hard. Terribly so. Understanding that I needed some alone time (as much as our shared room allowed it), Mandy let me be, keeping herself busy with work, some Netflix, or going out from times to times. I heard her put on her shoes and coming next to me, probably waiting by the door before leaving. I couldn't see her, however, because my body was facing the wall, keeping my eyes fixated on the old yellowed paint.

- Dude, you can't stay in bed all day long listening to Fleetwood Mac.

- Oh yeah ?, I croaked. Watch me.

Stubbornly keeping my back to her, I slightly moved the blankets to cover my head. I felt hollow, at best. I wanted to cry, but there was no tears left. My eyes felt dry, probably red and puffy, and my chest wouldn't stop aching like someone had just stabbed my heart. It felt awful. I felt miserable.

Mandy quietly stayed a while longer behind me, before she spoke softly.

- I know it hurts sweetie.

This simple, compassionate sentence had my eyes instantly watering, and before I realized it, a sob found its way at the back of my throat, making me shake under the covers.

- It hurts so much, so fucking much.

My sobs became more erratic, to the point that I don't even know if she could hear me correctly, but in an instant she was by my side, taking me into her arms, shushing me gently, putting me to sleep.

My nights were sleepless, my naps were restless, my dreams were all filled with nightmares. I couldn't help seeing Jake's face over and over in it. Sometimes people would make fun of me for believing he could've wanted me. Other times, my mind would just show me his face, or replay unwanted memories. Some part of me knew it wasn't the end of the world and there was no reason for me to get this worked up over a heartbreak because it could've been way worse. He could've intentionally led me on. He could've cheated on me. He could've taken advantage of me for sex. What happened was nothing in comparision, it was just a disastrous twist of fate. Plain bad luck. But somehow the fact that no one was to blame in this situation felt even more cruel. Like some invisible force had decided to not let me be happy. And listening to Fleetwood Mac wouldn't help improve my mood, but at the moment I didn't wanted to feel better. There was something strangely comforting in feeling miserable. I wanted to let it all go, all the tears, all the pain, no matter how long it would take.

When I heard the door open again, I hadn't moved an inch from when Mandy had previously left. Even with my earphones on, I could hear some murmurs in the kitchen. She knocked on the doorframe to notify her presence before speaking up.

- Sweetie, someone's here to see you.

There was an uncomfortable edge to her voice that actually made me curious, before some more footsteps approached my way, keeping a safe distance. They were being too fucking cautious not to offend me or whatever, like I was some damn porcelain doll, and while it annoyed me, it really made me realize how alarming the state I was in must've look from an outside point of view.

- Hey, I think I owe you some explanation.

I recognized this raspy and low voice, very slightly different from Jake's. It made my heart skip a beat because of how much they sounded alike, and I turned to face him just to be sure. Josh looked as apologetic as ever, and I knew why. I didn't feel bad for him at all. Thank God he had remorse.

- I have nothing to say to you.

- I knew you had a crush on him, said Josh anyway. It was obvious... the painting, the time you spent together, even the way your face lit up just seeing him. I tried to prevent this ending, I swear, and I'm so, so sorry-

- I know what you did.

Sitting up, scrubbing the dried tears out of my reddened cheeks and nose with the back of my hand, I gave him a cold stare. In the corner of my eye I could see a tense Mandy not knowing what to do with herself, and if she was questionning ; yes, it was a terrible idea bringing Josh here.

It all came to me just before I fled from the party, but I got too engrossed in my heartbreak to really think it through. But now, with his guilty looking face just few meters away from me, it all clicked into place. His odd behaviour whenever Jake and I spent time together, his seemingly jealous fits, the way he interrupted us whenever we were getting closer. It wasn't jealousy at all. It wasn't him being left out, or whatever bullshit he had told me.

- You knew all along, I said as tears blurred my sight, you knew he had a girlfriend. You didn't tell me. This could've been avoided if you had told me.

My throat had never felt this constricted. Now, adding to the weight of sadness, humiliation, emptiness, and wretch, was betrayal. Which made my shame sentiment grow bigger and my anger begin to rise. Slowly, Josh nodded his head. Of course he knew, it was his twin.

-I didn't know, I, I wanted to protect you-

- I need you out. I don't want to see you.

- Doll let me-

- Get out.

I didn't have the energy to shout at him, and his fucked up logic. Duality splitted my mind in two, tiredness of this whole situation and anger. The latter won over, making me throw whatever came to  my hand when Josh closed the door behind him. He knew all along and he didn't tell me anything. He knew I had fallen for his brother, he saw it, and he didn't tell me. I couldn't believe it, that hit me hard, and made almost as much damage as Jake being in a relationship. They both broke my heart that day.

The night finally came after what felt like the longest day ever. I didn't move. I didn't shower. I didn't eat. One thing I wanted to do was going back home, to my parents' place and listen to their stories, letting them forcefeed me, or put a blanket on me as I would fall asleep on the couch during movie night. However, I didn't have money to afford buying a train ticket, and it was too far away for them to come pick me up. They were getting old, I couldn't bother them if it wasn't an emergency. So I lied awake in my bed for another night, and I'll do the same the next day.

I was doing a good job of lying half dead in bed all Sunday before Mandy interrupted my mourning with her sudden life goal of making me snap out of it. It started with her pulling out the covers, and confiscating my phone.

- No more depressing music for you, I've had it. We get it, you're sad. We all have been there, you included. Guess what ? Staying in bed all day won't make you feel better, so you're gonna move it and take a nice and long shower because we're going out.

Seeing her this determined, fists on her hips, actually surprised me.

- I'm not, I muttered into the pillow.

- Oh yeah we are. There are plenty of boys in the world, you're stronger than that. So you better get your pretty ass in the shower before I kick the hell out of it.

To be honest, she had a fair point, and I obliged reluctantly, finding myself getting dressed up faster than I expected. By foot, we were a good hour away from the downtown, and with that infernal weather there was no way we were gonna walk, so she ordered a Uber for us and pushed my sorry self inside. The center of the city was crossed by the river, where the best bars were, and about half of our school's students hung out in this area, so it was always crowded, even in December. Teenagers and young adults were drinking cheap beer, smoking weed and/or selling drugs. It was the perfect place to meet new people. We could already see people chatting noisily by the docks, some dudes peeing on the river, others playing the djembe or singing together in circles, passing the joint. The street was usually so crowded that when a police car went by to see if everything was in order, it rolled with difficulty, honking everybody standing in the middle of the road. Mandy's strategy was simple : getting my mind off of Jake. She wouldn't even say his name, and had me take a shot every time I did (which I didn't anyway). Despite all her efforts, I couldn't say I was into it. The night went by with me staying in the back as she befriended everyone, fake-smiling now and then when they tried to chat with me. Focusing on what they said has proved nearly impossible, so I excused myself, pretexting I had to go to the bathroom. I needed some alone time. I didn't even feel like drinking anything, even a soda. It was too crowded, too noisy, smelled like booze and beer too much, it was... everything was overwhelming for someone who had just lied motionless in silence for two whole days.

The bartenders didn't say a word about me coming into their bar in the sole purpose of using their toilets. I don't even think they saw me at all with all the yelling people lined up against the counter to get their drinks. The crowd was compact, and my frame nearly got smashed between strangers' bodies when I tried to come through it, tripping over when I got out of this sea of limbs, and finally bumping heads with some drunk dude.

- Sorry, we said in unison, lifting a hand to our head.

The sound of my name made me gaze up, reporting my attention on something else than the floor. Josh. Of course. Could my luck be any worse ? At this point I must say that I wasn't even surprised. He looked far too drunk, and smelled a disgusting mix of whisky and beer. Trying to wave him off before passing him didn't succeed, because he grabbed my wrist, saying we should talk, pulling me outside on the busy street where I just came from.

- Josh I don't want to hear-

As a response, his index finger pressed sloppily against my lips, shushing me, making me frown.

- I didn't get to say everything I needed, did I ?

At this point I wasn't even annoyed, just tired and sorry for the both of us. He looked almost as miserable as me, and was he alone ? My eyes shot glances from side to side, waiting for his friends to pick him up, or worse, his brothers. But nobody seemed to care about us, let alone witness us.

- Whatever, let's talk.

Sending a to text Mandy beforehand in case she thought I was once again locked in the bathroom, I let Josh walk me to the bridge at the end of the street, far from the crowd. The wind kept brushing our faces at full speed, making my ears ache and my fingers sting. It was so cold outside I couldn't understand why everybody kept coming at the docks, this was the worst place ever in Winter. Josh sat on a step leading to the top of the bridge, only wearing a light suede jacket, not bothered in the slightest by this awful weather. The boy kept looking at his feet, his mouth a pout, his gaze unfocused, looking deep in thought.

- Josh if you're not going to say anyth-

- I didn't know what to do about it, he interrupted like he didn't hear me at all. I panicked ? You have to believe me, doll, I'm so sorry about it. What should have I done ? You're my friend and he's my brother, what a shitty situation. It wasn't my place to tell you, it was his. He should've known, it was so fucking obvious to everyone except him, what an idiot...

Josh began rambling, shaking his head in disbelief. I felt my cheeks color at the new knowledge that everybody knew about my crush on Jake except himself. My shame level was about to burst, it was so embarrassing.

- He doesn't know ?

Needing to confirm this, I barely whispered but the boy heard me, staring intently into my eyes before shaking his head no, and I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding.

- He's an idiot, commented Josh. Can't even see his relationship has been going to the dogs since months now. And I'm deeply sorry his incompetent ass put you in this situation. Now I obviously can't beat him up for you but I do can steal his socks to piss him off.

What ? Josh kept rambling on and slurring, to the point I didn't know if he was talking to me or to himself. So Jake's relationship wasn't all great... It happened to everybody, I guess. It didn't rejoice me in any way, however. If anything, I felt empathy for him. Maybe it's not that he was oblivious, but that he wanted for this to work so much he willingly chose to ignore that his relationship was falling apart. According to Josh's mumbling, their love was dying. Knowing Jake better now I could picture him genuinely trying his best to make things work, even though there wasn't anything he could do about it, and it made me sad. Because who knew this feeling of helplessness better than me ? It made me see things from a new perspective. Why was I even fighting with Josh ? Again ? It was futile and childish. I felt betrayed out of anger and sadness. It didn't mean he handled the situation perfectly, oh no. But staying mad at him wouldn't change anything. Jake wasn't going to quit his girlfriend anytime soon and I didn't wish him that. I couldn't live a lie either. Now at least I knew he was in a relationship, and I could finally move on. And while doing it, I could help a friend.

- It's alright Josh, I interrupted his monologue. Come here, let's go.

Josh took the hand offered to him and with some difficulty, I helped him up, letting him wrap himself around me, hugging me tightly, making me giggle.

- Where are we going ?, he whined in my shoulder while I called a cab.

- Home.

[logicalbookthief]

Game Night

So I actually had most of this written before 15x18, and then the episode gave us great Maggie + B team moments, so I figured, well, now I have to deliver. 

Featuring drunk interns, Schmico, canon-compliant Jaggie (barely but for the sake of, yanno, canon) and teeny-tiny hints to potential future Caggie because @schmicoismysunsword has convinced me it ships.

Now cross-posted on ao3!

Maggie doesn’t make a habit of mixing her professional life with her personal one. Aside from the fact that her sisters work at the same hospital as she does, as does her boyfriend, and her ex-- Look, the point is, Maggie tries to keep her private life a private one, albeit not with the passion of Dr. Bailey. 

Just -- she has the unfortunate tendency to babble. Aloud. To anyone nearby, who might be listening.

Which meant unintentionally venting to interns, who were always around, and always eager to listen. It starts with Parker, who, if not sworn to secrecy, at least has the decency to pretend he isn’t hanging off every word that comes out of her mouth. Schmitt is one of the more eager of the bunch and he happens to be on her service today. 

“Game night,” she mutters long-sufferingly. “Why tonight, when Meredith and Amelia are busy, and apparently, I don’t have enough of a life where I have any excuse to be somewhere else.” 

“Oh, right, the football game is tonight. Nic-- Dr. Kim mentioned that was a thing-- a thing Dr. Avery does,” Schmitt stutters, casting some furtive, flustered looks her way. Honestly, Maggie isn’t paying attention.

“I hate when I have to pretend to care about sports on TV. You know what else is on tonight?  The Magicians. But you don’t see me making a night of it with friends.” Not that she has any, apparently. At least, any without kids or prior commitments. 

Maggie deflates, more self-conscious than she means to be. “April enjoyed watching sports. Or maybe she was better at pretending than I am...”

Something dejected in her tone must spark a bit of nerve in Schmitt, who clears his throat. “Hey, you could -- uh, you could come out with us tonight,” he says, shrinking a bit under her stare. “Uh, if you wanted.” 

“Us?” she echoes critically. 

“Oh, um, well there’s me, Doctors Helm, Qadri, Parker--” All interns, Maggie mentally concludes, at the exact moment Schmitt realizes he’s asking an attending to tag along with his friends. 

“Never mind, it--” Finding an extra burst of nerve, Schmitt spews out in a rush, “It’s trivia night at this pub we like and you’d make a great ringer.”

Then he goes on ahead to the next patient on their rounds, as Maggie blinks. Has she sunk so low to consider to hanging out with a couple of kids? 

Except, she thinks with a wince, that sounds exactly like something Kiki would’ve said to her. After all, it isn’t as if the interns are that much younger than she is. Maggie’s so far ahead it only feels that way. She was always the kid to talk to the adults rather than friends her own age. And when she attended her first year of medical school still in braces while her peers were all adults, she had no choice but to grow up fast. 

Sacrificing one night of professional integrity probably wouldn’t tarnish her career forever. And a trivia night is exactly the sort of brain flexing she would prefer over an evening of her male coworkers yelling about a ball not making it over the right line. 

“What happens outside of the hospital, stays outside of the hospital,” Maggie springs on a stunned Schmitt, ending any further discussion with a firm glance. “I’ll be there at 7.”

“Dr. Pierce, if you don’t mind me saying so,” Qadri begins, and then, with the utmost reverence, “You fucking rock at trivia.” 

Schmitt and Parker whoop in agreement. 

“I do,” Maggie asserts, flushed with victory. And it’s probably the jalapeno poppers, too.

“I can’t believe you argued with the guy asking the questions,” Schmitt admits. “And you won.”

“Well, if you don’t have an encyclopedia knowledge of Happy Potter,” she preens. “Don’t try me.”

Helm returns with the celebratory round of shots, including one for her. Is it unethical to take shots with your interns? While on the clock, yes, definitely. Then again, it’s a little unethical to sleep with interns, too, and yet--

Maggie downs the shot. 

Parker hisses as the burn of alcohol slides down his throat. “I need at least three more of those after the study session I pulled last night,” he says, winded. 

“Right, your intern exams are coming up.” A swell of fondness rises in her chest as she remembers toiling over her textbooks, the ease of assessment, the pride of passing with high marks. “You guys excited?”

A chorus of groans answers her question. Oh, right. Not everyone was a child prodigy who gloried in tests. Maggie flinches and figures to hell with it, she’s already in this deep. She orders the next round of shots. 

“I’ve read so much I wore out my contacts,” Schmitt mumbles, his cheek plastered against the table. 

“Did you fall asleep wearing them again?” Taryn huffs at his miserable nod. “Dude, you’re going to go blind.”

“And fail your exam,” Parker adds, prompting another groan. 

Maggie has the weird urge to pat his head consolingly. Luckily, Qadri does it instead. “At least if you fail you have a hot surgeon boyfriend to support you,” she mutters enviously. 

“You could be a house-husband,” Helm proposes, raising her glass at Maggie and Qadri. “Because it’s 2019 and that’s equality.”

Schmitt seems to consider this seriously.

“You wouldn’t have to shave fish,” Qadri tacks on, wrinkling her nose. “No offense.”

It takes a full minute for Maggie to realize the remark is directed at her. “Oh! None taken,” she says quickly. “I take no responsibility for that exercise. Or the smell.”

“Which still hasn’t come out of my hijab,” Qadri mourns. Seeing Qadri look any amount of sad, Maggie decides suddenly, should be a crime listed under do no harm. 

“I’m sorry,” she offers. “I’ll make Jackson buy you a new one!”

For some reason, that sets them into a fit of giggles.

“Drunk Dr. Pierce is the best,” Parker declares, and then blushes, bright and splotchy. “Except for, uh, sober Dr. Pierce. She’s the most wonderful, uh--”

“Careful, don’t hurt yourself,” says Helm, wryly.

“Sober Dr. Pierce would be at home, pretending to care about sports,” Maggie scoffs. 

“With Link, Dr. Avery and Dr. Kim?” Dahlia grins. “Sounds like a dream.”

“Pretty sure we’ve all had that dream,” Levi snorts. 

“Uh, hello?” Helm pulls a face, jerking a thumb at herself. “Lesbian.”

“Everyone except Taryn has probably had that dream,” he amends. 

“Her, and me,” Maggie says blandly. Alcohol loosens her tongue almost as much as bullies and outrage. “As if our free time isn’t limited enough by his projects, and my environmental research, now Jackson’s gone and bonded with his new buddy Link, who loves sports, and camping, and nature, and -- bikes, I guess?”

“Nico says Link’s got a man-crush on Dr. Avery,” Schmitt whispers in what’s not really a whisper. Parker snorts messily into his drink, which she finds weirdly endearing.

“Please tell me Kim also has one of those secret bro handshakes with Link?” Maggie begs.

Schmitt nods. “Yeah, no, they do. He tried to show me it once, but I, um, accidently hit his chin with my open palm.”

Fits of laughter overcome the group while Schmitt flushes. “Aw. Did you kiss it better?” Parker wheedles. 

“I don’t kiss and tell,” says Schmitt, tight-lipped. 

“You do so,” Helm snorts, shoving him in the chest.

“Hey,” says Qadri, noting how Maggie’s spaced out. “At least if he’s watching sports and -- I dunno, crushing beer cans? -- with Dr. Link and Levi’s ortho god, then you don’t have to act like you want to hear about baseball.” 

“Football,” Parker corrects. 

“There’s a difference?” Qadri wonders. 

Maggie would try to answer, except the implication has finally sunk in. “His ortho god?” she asks, gesturing skeptically at Schmitt. 

“Yuh huh. Dr. Kim is his boyfriend,” Helm shares with relish. 

“Oh!” What she means to say is congrats, yet what emerges is a clumsy, “Wow. Good job.” 

Schmitt only shrugs. “I don’t know how,” he confesses in a slightly dazed tone. “Sometimes I think I died in that freak windstorm and this is just the last of my synapses firing off one last wet dream.”

“Dude, that’s dark,” Parker murmurs. 

“I haven’t slept or had sex in...” Schmitt pauses, clearly wracking his brain. “What’s today?”

“Preaching to the choir,” Maggie mutters. Huh, maybe that has something to do with her mood. 

“Oh, God,” Dahlia exclaims, as if she just cracked the code. “What if that’s why. What if Link is sleeping with Dr. Avery??” 

Parker nods sagely. “That makes sense.”

“Oh, God,” Maggie echoes. After a couple shots of tequila, the theory seems totally plausible. “Oh, no, what do I--”

“Don’t worry,” Schmitt interjects, radiating a suspicious amount of calm. “Link is too busy fooling around with Dr. Shepperd to sleep with your boyfriend.” 

Maggie exhales in relief. Then it dawns on her, what he actually said. “Wait,” she yelps. “What? He’s sleeping with my sister?”

Schmitt blinks. “You didn’t know?”

“No, I didn’t know!” Maggie gapes. “How did you know?!”

“He’s fucking the other ortho god,” Helm and Qadri chime in. 

“Right,” says Maggie, slowly and with effort. “Right, okay, I’ve got to remember that detail for tomorrow. So maybe, only … one more round of shots?”

Helm’s eyes light up. “Dr. Pierce is the coolest,” she declares, and the rest unanimously agree. 

Maggie Pierce has never been named the coolest anything -- the most impressive, sure, and the most talented by far -- so she can’t help the thrill that shoots through her, headier than any glass of alcohol.

“We’re taking a Lyft.” Parker has emerged as de-facto leader of the drunk brigade, voted in as least likely to order an axe-murderer for a driver. “Levi, you in?” 

Schmitt shakes his head, wincing as it jostles his precarious balance. “Nico said he would pick me up if I wanted.”

Helm snickers. “House-husband,” she sing-songs at him. 

“Breadwinner,” Schmitt fires back. Neither of these are insults, Maggie notes, uncertain if she should point this out.  

“Ma--” Parker catches himself with another blush. “Dr. Pierce, do you, uh, need a ride?” 

“Hey!” Schmitt says like he’s had a full-on brainblast. “You can wait with me and Nico can get you, too.”  

“Really?” Maggie perks. It saved her the trouble of calling anyone liable to embarrass her; namely, either of her sisters or worse, Karev. “That would be fantastic.”

“Sure, he’s already at Jackson’s place,” Schmitt replies confidently. If she were slightly more sober, Maggie doubts that logic would hold up to scrutiny. As it is, it makes perfect sense to wait for Schmitt’s ortho god to drop her off at the place he drove in from.  

Turns out, Dr. Kim is a sexy sight to behold, even with a proprietary arm wrapped around Schmitt, who’s too busy mumbling grateful nonsense into his shoulder to notice the adoration in his boyfriend’s gaze. 

If he is surprised to catch Maggie in a similar state of inebriation, Kim has the decency to make no mention of this. Instantly, he’s her new favorite attending-level doctor. He is also a gentleman, offering Maggie his hand as she clamors into the backseat of his car, all the while still steadying Schmitt with a hand clasped over his waist. 

Maggie marvels at the coordination and strength, wonders if he could carry them both simultaneously, should the need arise.

“He’s awesome at carrying people,” Schmitt brags, meaning that, whoops, she said that aloud. 

Kim chuckles. “Thanks, babe,” he says, wryly. “But at the risk of oversharing, maybe don’t go into detail.”

“What, that it’s a sex thing?” Schmitt says in what he clearly believes is a whisper for their ears only, before he collapses back onto the seat, supremely self-satisfied. At exactly the same volume, he adds, “See? I can be discreet.”

“Great job,” Kim snorts, unimpressed. And yet unable to resist pressing a kiss into his boyfriend’s brow before he starts up the engine. They’re cute, Maggie thinks blearily, and hopes she managed to keep the thought inside her head. 

Judging by the grin Kim shoots her out of the corner of his eye, she probably didn’t succeed. 

Jackson looks surprised to see Nico at his door again, not that long after he left. “Hey, man. Did you forget something?”

“Nope,” says Nico, cheerily. “Just doing a drop-off.”

“You--” Jackson stares in bewilderment, until Nico moves aside, allowing his passenger to sidestep his bulk. “Mags?” 

Maggie stumbles to the door, using one of his sturdy biceps for balance. “Thanks for the lift, Kim,” she waves over her shoulder.

He nods, still smirking as he walks back to his car, away from the bewildered Jackson.

“Mags, are you -- you good?” He hovers close behind as she carefully navigates the stairs, forgoing the temptation of the couch for the queen-sized bed. 

“I,” Maggie begins, slurring with great dignity. “Fucking rock at trivia.” 

The morning-after is almost worth the hangover. Watching Jackson try to puzzle out what she got up to last night -- and exactly how Dr. Kim fits into the picture -- is too funny, since Maggie deigns to tell him only the bare minimum, lest she look as silly as she feels when she walks into work with a lingering stuffiness.

“Wow. You look as though you need at least a double-shot,” says a familiar voice, rippling with sympathy, but also a fair bit of humor. “Good thing I got you a triple.”

Maggie stares blankly at Kim and at the to-go cup suddenly placed in her hands. Truly he is a kind and benevolent ortho god. “What’s this for?” 

Kim grins. “Last night my boyfriend went on about how cool Dr. Pierce was, and how hungover you’d be, and that it was his fault,” he explains, obviously quite amused. “And this morning he groggily demanded I make amends by being especially nice to you this morning. Hence, coffee.”

“That is--” A level of thoughtfulness that made all boyfriends, including her own, seem like total jackasses in comparison. Nico smirks as if he knows exactly what she’s thinking and enjoys the high ground very much. “So unnecessarily sweet. Thank you.”

“No problem,” he says, and leans in, a sheepish twitch to his unfaltering smile. “I’d also appreciate if he didn’t get fired over whatever you may or may not have heard last night.”

Maggie laughs. 

“Honestly, I’ve forgotten a decent amount already,” she admits, for the sake of all three of them. “Except the part about Dr. Link and my sister?”

Kim chokes on his sip of coffee. “Ah, you didn’t hear that from me.”

“No, I heard that from your drunk boyfriend,” she replies, picking up the pace to follow his long strides. “But I absolutely need to hear more from you!”

At his reluctance, Maggie pulls out her trump card. “I’ll buy you a bagel.”

Nico stops to considers her. “Multigrain, veggie cream cheese?” 

Evidently, Kim has a price. Maggie appreciates in someone who is still, until further notice, her favorite attending.

Petition for more of what 15x18 gave us with Maggie and the interns? And for Maggie and Nico to become friends?? Hire me Grey’s

[jtrbluv]

misunderstood pt. 4 || jjk

•••

pairing: jungkook x reader

genre: angst, fluff

warnings: swearing and slightly suggestive themes

word count: 1522

summary: what started as an immature bet soon spirals out of control in ways he could never imagine. what was he gonna do? she’s all that!au

A/N: school has made me have like 5 mental breakdowns already and i’m also sad cuz the next parts the last part >:(

PREVIOUS | NEXT

JUNGKOOK DREAM POV

“What the fuck is her problem? She goes popular overnight and she gets this once in a lifetime makeover? What does she want?” Jin bitches, leaving him in confusion.

“No, you don’t get it, I care about her.” Jungkook tells him, disgusted at his words.

“Damn Rose, he did exactly what you said he was gonna do.” you say to Rose, Jungkook’s head whipping around to you.

“Of course he did, he’s my creation after all, aren’t you Jungkook?” Rose boasted with a smile, looking to Jungkook.

“No, Y/N. Y/N! Y/N!!”

“Hey dude, calm down.” Jin told him, pushing him down onto the couch.

“He definitely had his moments, pretty entertaining,” you tease mocking his singing, “It’s beautiful life, beautiful day.” you sing as you and Rose burst out into a fit of laughter.

“AAAAAHHHHHH!!” Jungkook jolts up from his bed, sweat trickling down his forehead, face red with anger.

•••

Jisung entered the bathroom as the bell had signaled the beginning of lunch. A couple of thugs at the school noticed him and decided to mess with him.

“Hey Caprisung, whatchu up to sonny boi??” (ayeeeeeeee)

“Leave me alone.”

“You think your sister being nominated for prom queen makes you all that too? You’re funny kid.” one of them taunted him, pushing him against the wall as they spat in his face.

Jungkook walked through the hallway, pausing as he heard the sounds of familiar person getting bullied, Jisung?

He walked into the bathroom as he confronted the boys,

“Let go of him.”

“What are you gonna do about it prissy boy?”

“You don’t wanna know. I’m warning you now before I do something you’ll both regret.” Jungkook growled, muscles tensing, jaw clenching as he curled up his fists, his eyes shot daggers at the boys who stood in front of him frozen in shock.

“Okay man, we’ll stop.”

“Say sorry to him.”

“Sorry.” they both apologized in unison as Jisung stood behind Jungkook in awe.

“One thing before you leave, ” Jungkook stopped them, a devilish grin making way across his face, “strip.”

“You’re kidding, right?”

“Does it look like I’m kidding? Strip.” Jungkook spat, eyes speaking so much more for himself than anything.

The boys stood frozen in fear as they slowly started to strip off their clothes.

“No! Keep the undies dude!” Jungkook quickly interrupted them when of them slowly started to strip bare.

Jungkook stuck his hands out when they were done, “Give me the clothes.”

The boys complied sticking their clothes in his hands, as Jungkook opened the nearest stall and dropped the clothes into the toilet.

“Have a nice day boys. Hope you think again before messing with my boy Jisung here.” Jungkook warned as he stuck his arm around Jisung’s shoulder.

“Oh my god! Look!” you heard someone say as they pointed to the boy’s bathroom. Two troublemakers you tended to see walked straight out of the bathroom naked.

Right behind them were, Jungkook and Jisung smiliing and giggling, oh fuck no.

“Are you seeing what I’m seeing or am I going crazy?” Jaebum stood next to your locker with his eyes wide, mouth open in shock.

You growled as you stormed over to Jungkook.

“What did you just do?!”

“Those guys were messing with your little brother. If I wasn’t there to do anything, he would’ve gotten beat up.” Jungkook explained, Jisung nodding and smiling behind him.

“Um, fine whatever.” you quickly muttered as you turned on your heel and walked away in confusion.

•••

It was a regular day at work, you took people’s orders up front, and served from time to time since you were slightly understaffed, but it didn’t bother you much. The bell signaled the entry of another customer. You looked up to see who it was and it was… Yugyeom??

“Hey, Y/N.” he shyly greeted you with a small smile.

“What are you doing here?” you retorted, your face scrunching in annoyance and confusion. You paced back and forth behind the counter hoping for him to stop following you, but he persisted to anyway.

“Um, I was wondering, okay, I know I come off as an asshole, but, I was just wondering if you would want to go out? Specifically to the prom? Maybe?”

“Hmph.” you huffed in annoyance. Did he really think you were that easy?

“So, no?”

“Fuck no.”

“Okay, I understand, is it about Jungkook?”

“What?” you pause in your tracks, stopping to ask him.

“I’m sorry to break it to you, but he doesn’t care about you like that. He told me that he still has a thing for Rose. I might be wrong though so. Has he asked you to the prom yet?”

You stared at the ground as you opened your mouth, about to say something before closing it.

“I don’t want you to get hurt over something like this. Think about the prom, okay?”

You averted your eyes to his, slowly nodding.

“I’ll see you around Y/N.”

•••

“Jungkook why can’t you just understand me?! Do you see how much you’re jeopardizing your future here.”

“More like your future..”

“What?”

“I said more like your future! I can’t just pick whatever school.”

“Well, it’s called being an adult and making your own choices.”

“How am I supposed to do that when all my life you’ve been planning your future for me instead of letting me do what I want?”

“I’m sorry, I never meant to make you feel that way. Just because of I was at fault isn’t going to change the fact that the future is coming, it’s coming real fast, and it won’t care whether you’re ready or not.”

•••

With prom coming tomorrow, everyone was working hard to set up. Flowers, lights, and balloons were being set up everywhere as everyone rushed to get ready for the big day.

“Hey Jungkook! I came here because I forgot to finalize the plans, and I finally remembered after picking my dress!” Rose

“What are you talking about?” Jungkook questioned slowly, face scrunching in confusion.

“The prom of course dumbo.”

“But-”

“This isn’t about Y/N, is it? Because I heard she already has a date.”

“We should string the lights around here, does that look okay?”you asked Yugyeom, Jungkook listening into your conversation as he walked up towards you two.

“It looks great.” he reassures you.

“What the fuck do you think you’re trying to do here Yugyeom?”

“Good to see you too bro.”

“Y/N, did he ask you to the prom?”

“Yes, I did.” he answers for you, an evil grin making way on his way.

“BULLSHIT!!”

“Someone asking me to the prom is bullshit?” you harshly questioned him.

“I just thought we were going together.” he revealed quietly, face softening.

“Jungkook, you need to stop. I like this girl. You need to stop messing with her emotions just because of this stupid bet, it’s not worth it anymore.”

“Bet?”

“Yeah, it was some stupid bet where Jungkook said he could make any girl into prom queen and you ended up being the one picked.”

You couldn’t believe it, you couldn’t fucking believe it. Everything you two had gone through, all the moments you shared, all the crazy shit he’s made you do… it was all for nothing? The feelings that you had unintentionally developed over time for him- it was all a fucking joke? Instead of showing how heartbroken you truly felt, the anger and pent-up rage had repressed how miserable and deceived you felt inside.

“Is it true? Am I a bet? Am I a bet? AM I A FUCKING BET?” you mercilessly spat at him, voice echoing through the hall, while giving him a cold, unforgiving stare.

His jaw tightens as a surge of emotions run through his head, he analyzed your enraged form, your fists clenching at your sides. He had restrained himself from speaking too soon, in fear that you wouldn’t believe him. He acknowledged the fact that he had to tell you the truth now, there was no point of keeping it in any longer, knowing it would only further his chances of you ever reconciling with him. It pained him that he couldn’t tell you everything and it was all Yugyeom’s fucking fault. He had told you complete and utter lies which twisted the story to make him sound like a complete asshole, which he was, but not to the extent Yugyeom had said.

“Y-Yes..” he hesitantly let out, bracing himself for your reaction. Rose comes out of nowhere, wrapping her arms around Jungkook from behind and peering over his shoulder at you.

“You didn’t think you became popular for real, did you? Aw, you did? That’s so sweet..”

You scoff at her words and shake your head in disbelief, backing away from the scene before glancing at Yugyeom and running up the stairs behind you. You had to get out of there, and any place was better than what was down those steps.

Jungkook groaned to himself, staring at the ground in disappointment and anger as Rose continues on, “Pick me up at 8 babe.” And at that moment, he knew he fucked up, and it was gonna take a lot more than just a crappy apology to fix things. 

-

-

-

MASTERLIST

[bakugou-ou]

Hi!! I love your writing style so much, thank you for all your work! I would love to see a part three to that bakugou angst that you have, you've written it so well! Im kind of hoping for a somewhat happy ending, not necessarily them getting back together because I do agree that is a sour relationship, but just something better him. Thank you!! Much love and support 💓💓

Ahhh, thank you! I’m glad you enjoyed it so far! 《Part one》《Part Two》

Here’s part three, the final part, of the Bakugou bet scenario. I hope you enjoy it as much as I enjoyed writing it, most especially the ending.

Going back to school the following day was hard; he’d been lucky enough not to passher on his way in, she came to class late and got scolded by Aizawa. Part ofhim felt quite smug about that, it served her right to feel like shit afterwhat she said to him, making him feel the way he had. If he was going tosuffer, she should too… But, then he felt bad for feeling that way, becausethat meant she was right, that he was a rotten person who deserved to diealone. When he’d cleared out their texts, he’d kept the ones she had sent whilebreaking up with him, the really horrible ones, just as a reminder that that was how she really felt. Even if itwasn’t, he couldn’t forgive her for some of what she said. He hadn’t ever beenactually rude to her, even before the bet, he’s always been indifferent, theynever really talked, and once they were dating, he treated her like a princess,so if she was going to say that, she could go fuck herself.

He spent the next few periods until lunch cycling betweendifferent emotions; crippling depression, anger, relief, smug satisfaction, andback again. It was clear to everyone around them that both of them were messedup over it, especially Katsuki, but still no one said anything until lunch.Once the Baku Squad, save for Katsuki ex-girlfriend, was sat at their usualtable, Kirishima spoke up.

“How were your parents?” Kirishima asked, looking across thetable at his best friend.

“I wish I didn’t have to come back.” Katsuki answered,taking a bite of his curry rice and sighing. He pulled his new phone out of hispocket and slid it across the table to Kirishima, “She said more shit after Igot home, my parents were not happy.And then, after I’d already gone to bed, she had sent me a few more texts,first they were angry, and then they were sad, begging me to talk to her. Youread that shit and tell me if you think I should try and talk it out.”

Kirishima reluctantly took the phone off the table and beganto read the texts. Katsuki hadn’t shown him the texts the day before, onlygiven him a very quick, painful rundown of what had happened. Seeing the thingsthat his girlfriend had told him madeKirishima’s entire body heat with anger; he knew how sensitive his friend wasto everything she’d chosen to pick at him about, she was systematically tearinghim down with her words, and there was no excuse for it, no matter how angryshe was. He had been sympathetic towards her the day before, understanding howbad it looked on Bakugou’s end, but that? That was unacceptable. He had to stopreading halfway through the first text in which she asked him to meet herbefore class to talk. It was so… Stupid wasn’t the right word, but that was allhe could think of. You couldn’t just say those kinds of things to a person,especially Bakugou of all people, andexpect him to want to talk to you. He was honestly surprised Bakugou wasn’tliving up to his reputation of being an insufferable asshole and making herlife miserable after all of that.

“That’s… Really fucked up, dude.” Kirishima said quietly,sliding the phone back to Katsuki and looking down at his gyudon.

“Ya think?” Katsuki replied, letting his phone sit on thetable next to his tray.

“I can’t believe she’d do that to you… Even with as mad asshe was, that’s just so… Uncalled for.” Kirishima mumbled, beginning to eat.

“The way my parents put it, I dodged one hell of a bullet.They’re probably not wrong, but it still fucking hurts because I loved her.”Katsuki looked to the rest of the group, “By the way, I’m not mad at you guysanymore… So, you can relax.”

The group couldn’t really relax, though, not knowing thathis relationship was over, something he’d been so happy about had been ruinedby them; even if he had forgiven them, they still felt bad about it. Half ofthem wanted to push the two back together, to solve this issue, but the otherhalf thought that if even Kirishimawas upset, then it wasn’t worth trying to salvage the relationship. They werecurious about what she had said that was so awful that even Kirishima was soupset about it, but if Bakugou wasn’t going to show them, then they weren’tgoing to ask him… They’d ask Kirishima later, but they weren’t going to riskgetting blown up for being nosy.

Katsuki’s phone vibrated with another text from her, askinghim to meet her down the hall from class before it started again. He threw hisspoon down with a loud clang, pickingthe phone up and unlocking it to reply; no.One word, that was all he had to say. If she kept persisting, he’d block hernumber. And if she came up to him, he’d ignore her. He had nothing to say toher. Well, that wasn’t the truth, but to prevent the situation from becoming a real dumpster fire, more than it alreadywas, he couldn’t talk to her. And he didn’t want to talk to her, not after allthe low blows she’d dealt him the day before, from behind her door and overtext. She could get on by herself, she didn’t need him, she hated him, that’swhat she had said, and now he was starting to hate her, too.

“Was that her?” Kaminari asked, looking concerned; everyonehad been startled by the way he’d chucked the spoon down onto the tray, the distressedexpression on his face, but Kaminari was the one to speak up.

“Of course it was, dumbass.” Katsuki answered as his phonevibrated again; when he looked down, she had said please, just hear me out. What part of no did she not understand? Besides, she had refused to listen tohim yesterday, now she’d know how it felt.

He laughed in disbelief and simply replied with another no before blocking her number. While hehad his phone out, he blocked her on Line as well, so that she couldn’t keeppestering him over text. If she was going to keep bothering him, then he wasgoing to ignore her. He was, by his own admission, an asshole, but he wasn’tgoing to tear her down the same way she had him. That wasn’t okay, and even ifhe was saying that he had loved her,in the past tense, he wasn’t some robot who could just switch off his feelings,he still loved her, it was just really fucking painful, and after what she hadsaid, he had no desire to get back with her. There was no point, she hadn’tbothered to hear him out, why should he hear her out? If she hadn’t said thethings she had said, he would have been all ears, but after how downrightvindictive she was, he didn’t want to listen to anything she had to say.

When lunch was over, he walked with his friends, making surenot to be caught alone so she couldn’t ambush him and force him to talk. Hewasn’t going to talk to her, he really couldn’t, he’d get pissed and say thingsthat he probably didn’t mean, or at least that he meant and didn’t want to beout in the open. She was waiting for him at his desk when he walked back intoclass, though, looking equal parts dejected and irritated.

“You can’t ignore me forever Katsuki.” She said as he walkedto his desk.

Maybe he couldn’t ignore her forever, but he was going totry. He plopped down into his chair and pulled his notebook and pencil case outof his backpack, neither speaking nor looking at her as she stood over him andwaited for him to say something. He heard her huff angrily before she startedtalking, and he just kept doing what he was doing; putting new lead into hispencils, checking the ink levels in his highlighters, things so mundane andtedious that she’d get even further irritated that he was ignoring her forthem.

“Katsuki!” She snapped.

He didn’t even flinch when she shouted at him, insteadopening his notebook and beginning to review his notes for the next class. She’dgive up once class started, so he could put up with her being insufferable fora little while longer. Deku came over to try and talk her into sitting down,though she wouldn’t listen and kept insisting she needed to talk to Katsuki;Deku advised her against trying to continue, since it was clear he was pissed, but she wouldn’t take no for ananswer. Finally, the bell rang, and she went back to her seat. Deku sat down athis desk, behind Katsuki’s, and then whispered to him.

“Kacchan, you really should talk to her… You shouldn’t leavethings like this.”

“Fuck off, Deku! It’s none of your god damn business!” Katsukigrowled, turning to face Deku, “If your stupid girlfriend talked to you the waythat one did to me yesterday, you wouldn’twant to hear her out or talk to her. I may be a shit person, but at least I’mnot going after every single insecurity I know she has the way she did to meyesterday, only to come crawling back begging for forgiveness and gettingpissed when it doesn’t happen.”

The entire room was dead silent, and Deku was a bitstartled. Once he’d heard that, though, he understood why Katsuki was ignoringher.

“I’m sorry, Kacchan…” Izuku responded.

“Me too, Deku.” Katsuki replied, turning back around andgoing back to his notes.

The rest of the day, no one dared to talk to him, she didn’ttry to come up to him between classes, and she didn’t try to ask anyone else totalk to him for her, either. She knew better than to do that now… Or, so hethought, until classes were out for the day and she stood by his locker toambush him.

“Move.” Katsuki said flatly as she stood there, blocking himfrom getting his things out of the locker.

“Not until you talk to me.” She replied pigheadedly.

“If you don’t move, I will blast you out of the way. You’rereally rubbing me the wrong way.” Katsuki hissed, looking down at her withcontempt evident in both his expression and tone.

She stood her ground, though, “Katsuki, really, we need totalk this out. Even if you don’t want to be with me anymore, it can’t end likethis.”

He was taken aback by the audacity she had to try and soundlike she had the moral high ground in this situation, after the things she hadsaid to him the day before, chipping away at every single insecurity of histhat she was aware of. He’d been quite open with her, that’s how much he hadloved her, he told her things he hadn’t even told Kirishima, his best friend,that even Deku didn’t know, and she had turned every bit of information he’dever shared with her against him, because she was upset.

“You’re fucking with me, right? Is this supposed to be ajoke?” He asked, reaching around her and opening his locker, “You don’t get toact like I’m the asshole here. Iwouldn’t have asked you out if I didn’t like you, and I trusted you.”

“I trusted you too.” She hissed, “But you lied to me.”

“I never lied about anything.” Katsuki objected, pulling hisshoes out of his locker and slipping off his indoor shoes, “If I didn’tactually like you, I wouldn’t have asked you out.”

“But you didn’t like me at first, you were just stringing mealong!” She snapped.

“Maybe, but that stopped well before we started actuallyseeing each other.” Katsuki responded, slipping into his regular shoes andputting the others into the locker. He shut it and began to walk away, “None ofthe things you said are things I can forgive you for, so you’re just going tohave to live with the fact that you took things way too far and that I now wantabsolutely fucking nothing to do withyou. Congratulations, you’re getting what you want, you’ll never have anythingto do with me again.”

Before she could say anything, he was out the door and offto the dormitory. He was officially done with her, and if she kept trying, he’dkeep pushing her away. He’d never resort to what she had done, he couldn’t dothat, but he wasn’t above being generally petty and unpleasant to drive thepoint home that it was over between them, that there wasn’t even a salvageable friendshipbetween the two of them. She was getting what she wanted, and if she hadn’tmeant it, she shouldn’t have said it.

—–

Three months later

—–

The first month after breaking up had been the worst part ofit. It was still so raw, and everything fucking sucked. She kept trying to talkto him, even when he had made it clear there was nothing for them to talkabout, that it was over, that he wanted nothing to do with her unless it had todo with schoolwork. And, of course, when she didn’t get what she wanted, she’d botherhis friends, Deku was the most susceptible to her manipulation, only giving upentirely once Katsuki showed him the texts she had sent him. He kept them toremind himself of why he was doing what he was doing, why he had given up onthem. After the first month, she began to give up, and he was honestly relievedthat he didn’t have to go out of his way to be a dick to her any longer.

The second month was awkward as hell whenever they gotpaired up together for practical training, though thankfully that wasn’t often,it only happened three times that month, he usually got paired instead withDeku or Kirishima, much to his relief. Even Deku was better to work with nowthan she was. Not having a girlfriend also gave him a lot more time to focus onschoolwork, and training, so he was glad to have his time wholly to himselfagain. He quickly reverted back to his original mindset that a relationshiponly took away from his ability to become a hero. He had the rest of his lifeto find someone infinitely better than her, who wouldn’t make him feel like shit the second they got mad aboutsomething, he could survive the rest of his time at UA without a girlfriend.

As he sat in the library with Kirishima, Kaminari, and Sero,tutoring them in classical literature, he saw her walk in with some guy from GeneralStudies, that purple haired dude who looked like he never got any sleep, whohad pissed him off ahead of the sports festival… What was his name? It didn’tmatter, but they were dating now. But, as he watched the two of them walk, handin hand, her looking up at him and giggling at something he said, the same wayshe used to with him, he was struck by a realization: he didn’t care. He reallywas okay, totally fine, he felt nothing.No envy, no anger, nothing. He felt nothing towards her, or towards the guy shehad replaced him with. It was easy for him to ignore them and go back totutoring his idiot friends, they were more important than some girl he’d goneout with for a month and who had broken up with him in such a shitty way.

While the other three discussed a poem they had beenassigned to read, he pulled his phone out of his pocket and opened his messaging app, deleting the last of her messages to him. He smiled slightly to himself as he locked his phone and put it down on the table, before joining the conversation about the poem.

[lordsicheng]

3 is a Charm: Pt. 4

Justin Huang x Yoo Seonho x OC

Genre: Very fluffy, best friends AU

You walked your way back home because you really didn’t feel like talking to Seonho, Justin, and maybe even Guanlin. You pouted at the thought of wanting to like Guanlin but you knew he probably wasn’t interested in you in any way.

“Boys suck.” you muttered under your breath as you waited for the bus

“Tell me about it.” an old lady chuckled as she sat next to you, making you smile a bit

“I just don’t get it, why do they keep so many things from us women?” you furrowed your brows and crossed your arms

“I don’t know. Even my ex-husband tried keeping the other woman from me for over five years, and I find out on the second year. He tried so hard to keep the marriage but I left him, and here I am. Already on my third year of being single and I love it!” she laughed as she looked at you

“Oh I’m sorry…” you bit your bottom lip in embarrassment

“What are you so sorry for, dear? These things happen. It’s life. It’s just that dumb, annoying, stinkin’ little-“ she suddenly stopped and looked at you suddenly getting all uncomfortable

“Wait, how old are you?” she asked

“I’m 16…” you slowly said as you gulped

“Kids your age these days curse, but you seem polite.” she said as she patted your shoulder

“Ah, thank you… I guess…” you bowed

“The bus is here. Where are you off to?” she asked as the bus stopped right in front of both of you

“I think I’m gonna stay here for a while. I need to buy something.” you smiled as she went inside the bus, leaving you just standing at the station. You took a deep breath and walked away to a nearby convenience store where you decided to get something to eat. You looked around and saw a few packs of Pringles, which you, Seonho and Justin enjoyed a lot. You grabbed one and immediately went to the counter to pay and went out on your way, deciding to stroll your way home.

-

Guanlin looked at Seonho and Justin nervously as they stood outside your classroom waiting for you to arrive

“So, why are we here again?” Justin scratched his head

“I want to apologize to y/n.” Guanlin looked at Justin

“She’s here.” Seonho quickly whispered as he tried to act as if he didn’t see you, but you already saw the three of them look at you before they looked away

“Nice try.” you sighed and shook your head as you tried to walk past through them, Seonho stopping you with his arm

“We’re sorry.” Seonho pouted, trying to ask for forgiveness

“For what?” you glared

“I’m sorry for being annoying.” Justin looked at you, and you looked back and then looked at Guanlin

“I’m here to say sorry for…” Guanlin stopped as he looked both Justin and Seonho, confused on what he was sorry for in the first place

“You don’t have to be sorry for anything. It’s these two who made me feel horrible. Now please, I need to go inside.” you pushed Seonho’s arm and passed by to get inside the classroom, Seonho looking at you in surprise

“Great, now she’s even angrier at us.” Justin frowned

“Guanlin, what are we going to do?” Seonho looked at Guanlin

“What? I got dragged into this for no reason?” Guanlin complained, sounding irritated

“He’s right. Look, if you’re gonna confess to her then at least wait until she forgives me and Seonho.” Justin crossed his arms as he leaned his back on the wall

“You guys need to apologize to her properly.” Guanlin shook his head, making Seonho and Justin look at each other

-

For the next 2 weeks, you ended up becoming closer to some of your girl friends in class, ignoring Seonho and Justin. A part of you was hurt that you decided to overlook them but you knew you wanted to have space from them. You did often look at Seonho and Justin during class, but you’d end up looking away because you knew you missed them.

They were your closest friends out of everyone and you felt betrayed that they ruined your chance on becoming closer to someone you actually liked.

One day, you decided to confront both of them on why they gave you the silent treatment and ignored you back, making you feel really sad about what was going on

“Justin?” you called as you walked over to his seat

“Mhm?” he replied as he wrote something for his notes

“I just wanted to know if-“

“Justin! Let’s go!” Seonho called as he and Guanlin got inside your classroom, you turning as soon as they arrived, making them feel a bit awkward

“Yeah, hold on.” Justin stood up as he put his notebook in his bag and put on his backpack, turning to you before he could leave

“You were saying?” Justin raised a brow

“Never mind.” you forced a smile as you turned and went back to your seat, fixing your things before you decided to head out of the classroom

“Dude, she looks miserable.” Justin whispered to Seonho

“Men have pride.” Seonho didn’t look back and just went forward

“When is this going to end?” Guanlin whispered as he tried to steal a glance of you

“Wait for it.” Seonho replied

“Hey, wait.” you suddenly called as you put on your back pack and ran towards the three before they got out of the classroom, all of them turning to look at you

“Seonho, Justin, I know I’ve been ignoring you both all because you guys did something wrong to me. I know I want to forgive you both but I kind of… felt really deceived… from you know what.” you looked down as you rubbed the side of your arm

“Guanlin? Can you excuse us?” Seonho smiled, and Guanlin just nodded as he went out of the classroom

“The fact that we’re ignoring each other is killing us too, y/n.” Justin looked at you worriedly

“Can we go back to being the three little pigs again?” you looked at them in plead, making Seonho chuckle and roll his eyes

“Come here little piggy.” Seonho hugged you as he ruffled your hair, and Justin joined in the hug as well

“Oh wait, Guanlin!” you smiled as you decided to go out and find Guanlin

“Wait!” Justin went to your front to stop you, and you just looked at him confused

“Uhm, we need to tell you something…” Seonho gulped

“What?” you looked at both of them

“Oh my God!” someone suddenly squealed outside, making Justin widen his eyes as he looked at Seonho, and you immediately ran towards the door, Justin facepalming as soon as he noticed he couldn’t stop you

“Great job, Justin!" Seonho shook his head as he followed you and Justin followed you after

-

You widened your eyes as soon as you went outside, seeing a lot of students murmur and cover their hands in awe as they saw Guanlin, smiling as he held a small teddy bear and a small bouquet of flowers, walking his way to you as you just looked at him perplexed

“I just… wanted to let you know…” Guanlin stuttered, making you blink fast as you looked at the flowers and the teddy bear

“Guanlin you little-“ Seonho called and suddenly stopped as you looked at him, suddenly frowning

“Great, you guys were behind this?” you shook your head as you turned to look at Guanlin again

“No! I… asked for their help…” Guanlin scratched the back of his head as he gave you the flowers and the small teddy bear, you looking at the other students who witnessed this giggle

“I kind of like you… but I don’t know about how you feel about me. I asked Seonho and Justin for help because I was scared you were going to run away from me because I’m so awkward…” Guanlin gulped

“You’re not awkward, though.” you muttered

“What?” Guanlin looked at you as he tilted his head

“You’re not awkward.” you smiled, making everyone coo at you suddenly blushing

“Ya! Be quiet! Let them have their moment!” Seonho complained

“Anyways, what do you think of me?” Guanlin bit his bottom lip and looked away, making you chuckle

“I don’t know, what do you guys think?” you turned to look at Justin and Seonho, and then nodded and gave the thumbs up, making you laugh

“They like you. And I guess I like you too.” you smiled and shrugged as you looked at him, and every other student almost lost it and even took photos of you and Guanlin

“Really?” Guanlin widened his eyes and gave a wide smile

“But, you’re gonna have to deal with Seonho and Justin being around with us for maybe… 60? 50 percent of the time?” you grinned

“Sure, anything for you.” Guanlin said as he looked at Seonho and Justin, who were both literally cheering on Guanlin, making you look at them and they immediately composed themselves and walked towards you

“We’re her bodyguards, so please respect us.” Seonho nodded as he looped his arm on your shoulders

“Ya, that’s Guanlin’s job!” Justin pushed Seonho’s arm off of your shoulder and instead put Guanlin’s, making you giggle

“Show’s over, everyone. Go home.” Justin waved his hands telling everyone who saw the incident, making you and the others laugh

“I didn’t get to spend pizza night for two weeks…” you pouted

“We’re going for pizza AND the arcade tonight. You down?” Seonho looked at Guanlin

“Anything for you guys.” Guanlin chuckled as he walked with you towards the stairs, leaving Seonho and Justin

“Mission accomplished.” Justin whispered to Seonho, and Seonho just nodded and gave him a high five

“Ya, are you guys coming or what?” you yelled

“Coming!” Seonho and Justin said in unison as they chuckled and ran their way down the stairs to follow you and Guanlin out of the building.