#dude's livin a hard life already as it is

[padawan-jiejie]

So I'm rewatching SGA

and I am actually kinda pissed bcs Rodney is constantly the butt of the joke and it's like... Leave him alone the dude deserves better!

Also I just watched 2x03 where Ronon gets introduced and you're supposed to be like "Oh look at Rodney, he's more worried about the sun damage and radiation than his friend Ford, omg" but HE IS ACTUALLY MAKING SOME VALID POINTS GUYS

[sparkedblaze]

PART 3 LET'S GOOOOO

*sigh*

Parts 1 and 2

@raggedy-albert tagging you bc you yelled at me ;-;

T/W cursing, talk of violence

"WHERE DOES IT SAY A GUY CAN'T CATCH A BREAK WHY SHOULD YOU ONLY TAKE WHAT YOU'RE GIVEN WHY SHOULD YOU SPEND YOUR WHOLE LIFE LIVIN' TRAPPED WHERE THERE AIN'T NO FUTURE EVEN AT SEVENTEEN BREAKIN' YOUR BACK FOR SOMEONE ELSE'S SAKE"

THOSE LYRICS HIT SO FUCKING HARD MY DUDES

JEREMY JORDAN'S VOCALS HOLY SHIT

HIS FACIAL EXPRESSIONS

MOVEMENTS

HIS A C T I N G

"I'll be there"

"Just be real is all I'm askin'."

"I GOT NOTHIN IF I AIN'T GOT SAAAAANTAAAAAAAAA FEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE"

That's the end of act 1. I only just finished act 1. I pause it too much to type everything out. And also I napped earlier and it felt g r e a t

Finch laying across the table

"Just ask a fish in the desert"

LES SITTING UNDER THE TABLE

"Why do old people talk?" "To prove they's still alive"

Mush's eyeroll

Squeeze Elmer's shoulder

FRONT PAGE?!

IAIN'S SMILE FUCK HIS SMILE IS SO DAMN CUTE

"WOULD YA LOOKIT THAT'S ME!"

"WHERE'S ME?! WHERE'S ME?!"

"I WON'T BE LAST IN LINE FOR THE TUB TONIIIGHT"

Tommy snatching the pape from Davey

"There's a headline even Elmer could sell"

HENRY'S LAUGH/REACTION TO ^

"JACK DON'T RUN FROM NO FIGHT"

"Take it down shortstop"

"FOR JUMPIN' JACKS SAKE CAN YOU STOW THE SERIOSITY LONG ENOUGH TO JUST DRINK IN THE MOMENT"

HIS LIL PUNCHIES

Albert's look of disgust at being touched without permission

"I'M FAYHMUS"

Henry: So?

"When ya fayhmus tha woild is ya erster."

😕 Wot?

????

"Ya erster"

"What are you saying???"

"EY YAKNOW YA FANCY CLAM WIT THA POIL INSIDE"

"O Y S T E R"

"HOW MUCH DOES BEIN' FAYHMUS P A Y?!"

"U DON'T🚫 NEED MONEY 💲 WHEN UR FAYHMUS😎 THEY GIVES YA WHATEVA YA WANT G R A T I S"

HEARING THE FIRST LIKE CHORDS (?) OF KONY IS THE BEST BC KONY IS THE BEST SONG IF YOU CAN'T TELL BY HOW LONG THIS POST ALREADY IS P MUCH ONLY WITH KONY THINGS

RACE AND KATH DOING THE PLAYFUL HIT THINGS

WHY DID THEY CHANGE RACE'S LINE?! IT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE FOR ROMEO TO WANT A PERMANENT BOX AT THE SHEEPSHEAD RACES

"Oh no"

*tucks emotional support stick under arm* "knOBBin WIt AlL DA MuCKeTY MuCks I'M BLowIN MY doUGH AND gOIN dELuxE"

Statue of Liberty

The obscene amount of times Racer sticks his tongue out

Raver ruffling Mush's hair

"AMSCRAY PUNK"

"BUNCHA WET NOODLES" "PULITZER'S POODLES"

Davey and Ike playing dogs even after everyone else drops it

EVERY SINGLE FACE IN THE POODLES SCENE

Lemme just (bad quality but I can’t clip it ;-;)

LIKE ALBERT WTF ARE YOU DOING???

JOJO MY MAIN MAN WHY

RACER THAT SMILE CREEPY AS HELL STOP

DAVEY AND IKE, AS STATED ABOVE

MIKE WTF

ELMER LOOKING ABSOLUTELY DONE

"LET'S GET DRUNK" 😃 Y E A H "NOT WITH LIQUOR" 😧

Clap

Hop

TAPPITY TAPPITY TAPPITY TAP MAKE ME STIM SO HARD ILY

FINCH AND HIS SUSPENDERS

EVERYONE GETTING OFFENDED AT GETTING ONE UPPED

TAPPITY TAP TAPPITY TAP TAPPITY TAP TAPPITY TAP

KICK

SPIN

BUMP BUMP

BUTTONS'S BROOM

EVERYONE GETTING SPOONS

"A L R I G H T RED"

SMALLS

ILY

SPOON FIGHT

EVERYONE JOINING IN

"GOT EM"

CHCHCHCHCHCHCHCHCCCKCKCKCCH

TAPTAPTAPTAPTAPTAPTAPTAPTAPTAPTAP

*shoving Kath out of chair*

*cleans off ground with hat*

BOOOOOOOOOOOOO

THE WAY THEIR LITTLE ARM THING TICKLES MY BRAIN

Albert: Ehhhh Albert: Oh shit that's actually p good

THE CHOREOGRAPHY IS SO GOOD

"LOOK AT ME I'M THE KING OF NEW YORK"

"THIS IS GONNA MAKE BOTH THE DELANCEYS PEE IN THEIR PANTSIES"

ELMER'S FACE

FINCH'S LIL FACE BANDAGE

THE SHOT WHEN THEY SING "GUTS AND GLORY"

SPIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIN

TKTKTKTKTKTKTTKTTKTKTTKTKTKTKT

"OF NEW YORK!!!"

SEEING THEM ALL OUT OF BREATH AND GRINNING AND IK THEY HAD SO MUCH FUN

SMALLS

Point

Clapclap clap

ROMEO AND FINCH HAVING SO MUCH FUN

FUCK WAIT NOW IT'S LETTER FROM THE REFUGE

"Dear Jack..."

I paused it.

I don't wanna watch anymore ;-;

I wanna pretend they're all still happy and tappin' around Jacobi's

"Guess I wasn't much help yest'aday"

"Oh, yeah, Jack This is Crutchie by the way"

Andrew Keenan Bolger is just so fuckin good

"So far they ain't brung us no fooood..." lol

"Maybe though... heh heh... Not tonight..."

"We miiiight just go..."

Definitely NOT Ike sleeping next to him SHHHHHHHHHHHHH

"Damn this place."

"Your friend Your best friend Your brother Crutchiiiieeeee"

Albert Some other redheaded newsie: "Enough already!"

Everyone looking for Jack

MISS MEDDA I FUCKING LOVE YOU

Jack pretending to not be crying

"You're a gem"

"Does it matta?"

"If you're running away, nowhere is ever the right place"

"How about lettin' a pal know you're alive?!" Jack: Ffs 🙄

"Why don't I leave you with your boyfriend?"

"YaevathinkIdidntwannabefound"

"A B O V E THE FOLD"

Bap

Smack

They're so close just lean forward a lil and give him a lil smooch

Poke

:|

"JUST LIKE I SAID"

"We're inevitable"

"Fame is one intoxicating potion"

"Yes he did and then he died :)"

Kath's lil supportive nod

"Smart enough to get you committed to a padded room"

JACK'S ART

"Lighten up, no one died."

LES'S LIL WORRIED FACE WHEN JACK TELLS THEM ABOUT CRUTCHIE

"If I wanted a sermon I would show up for church."😠

"Tell me how quitting does Crutchie any good."

"Exactly."

"Here's how it goes-"

T E E T H

"Jackie think about it"

JACK HOW WERE YOU EXPECTING TO MAKE IT IN SANTA FE WITHOUT KNOWING WHY A SNAKE RATTLES

"poor GUYS head IS SPINNING"

"Whywouldhesendforthegoonsanentirearmydozensofgoonsplusthecopsand-"

Kath’s amazement at Jack admitting being wrong

ETHAN’S DUMB FACE 😭😭😭

“Stay on track”

“AND WEVE GOT JACK”

Spit shake

Davey being disgusted

“And I’ve got a date!!!”

Kath being nervous asf to confront her dad

“The newsies are striking against… me”

Kath trying to melt into her chair

I’m gonna kick Snyder

*WHACK* “WHAT GOOD WOULD QUIET DO ME”

Kath’s panic when Jack shows up

“Ask and ye shall be received”

S i t

“Good aftanoon bois”

“Aaand which Jack Kelly is this? The charismatic union organizer? Or the petty thief, and escaped convict?”

“Which one gives us more in common? Eh?” *wiggles finger*

“Crowwlin”

“Want i should save ya a spot on the bill?”

B o y

“When New York wakes up to-“ 😗🧐 “-front page photos of our rally”

“Even some reporters”

THE BIG REVEAL

JACKS FACE

KATHS FACE

“Yeeeeeessss”

Why does Pulitzer hit his desk so much? Take a Xan and calm down my guy

I’m gonna kick Snyder pt 2

THE DELANCEYS CATCHING AND HOLDING JACK SO HE CANT GET OUT DHSGWHMFKE

Morris looking 100% done with Pulitzers shit

“They know I don’t care” 🙂

“Tossed 🫴🏼➰ to the rats🐀 Will they ever be able to thank you enough?💅🏻”

BOTTOM LINE REPRISE

I like that he calls Jack ‘Cowboy’ in this song as a little homage to the original, but (bc I saw Livesies first) I was so confused when I watched it at first.

So ik they only use the newsies to move sets bc they can go fairly unnoticed by the audience when they’re going on and off stage. But just the idea that even if they aren’t actually there with him, them still do everything for Pulitzer is a statement to me

Morris hopp of stairrrrrrs

*bonk bonk bonk* “That there… is firm”

Jacks lil tantrum

“NEWSIES NEED OUR HELP TODAYYY”

HELLO SPOT LOML

TOMMY BRACCO 😍😍😍 (congrutalions on his engagement 😭😭)

THE LIL GAP IN HIS TEETH IS EVERYTHING TO ME

Reasons I love Brooklyn (from left to right:

Graves

Myron

Spot

Hotshot

Bart

Ty for coming to my Ted Talk

“We’ll getcha payback with some PAY BACK”

Speepy Jack

Spot’s dramatic ass taking his hat off

“BOROUGH WHAT GAVE ME BOITH”

Everyone else hurriedly taking off their hats

“FRIENDLIEST PLACE ON OITH”

“PAYUS A VISIT AND SEE WHAT WE MEANS”

“AND WHEN YA DOOOOOO”

“WE’LL KICK YA HALFWAY TO QUEENS”

Definitely totally Jack Kelly on that printing press and definitely NOT Devin Lewis

The entirety of the boroughs introducing themselves

PFFPTTHHH

“WE IS HEEEEEERRRREEEE”

Davey’s first spit shake without wiping it off 🥹

MISS

MEDDA

LARKIN

Bart’s lil hops 🥺🥺

THE CROWD CONTROL

Eyebrows

Jack Jack Jack Jack

Everyone smacking signs against the ground

“Youwannabetalkedtolikeanadultstartactinlikeone”

Racer’s smile 😭😭😭

“That’s was a lousy thing to do” Everyone else: HELL YEAH IT WAS

Elmer’s Graves’ smile

Pulitzer

S H O V E

“He’s a sellout”

JACK RAISING HIS HAND AT LES

“YOU'RE A TRAITOR JACK”

DAVEY'S DEVASTATION

“HESAIDYOUCOULDGOTHROUGHMYSTUFF?!”

Kath plz be more considerate

THE

FUCKING

PROJECTIONS

"A little different from where you were raised?" s n a t c h

"I DO NOT THINK YOU ARE ONE TO TALK ABOUT TURNIN' ON FOLKS"

"Ya ffffffffADDA"

"a ffffffist in ya mouth"

Finger wiggle

Paper wiggle

"good for you"

"The children's crusade..."

"Oh no"

"Ya just gonna take back lAta"

Gotta be honest, Something to Believe In makes me so irrationally angry. Their whole relationship feels forced and only there for the romance grab :)

I feel like they could've done a lot with Kath's character without making her fall for Jack

Like it makes sense that Jack would feel things for her. She represents this freedom he's never gotten to have. She helped get the newsies a better hand in life. Granted it isn't perfect, but it's a hell of a lot better. Not to mention all the newsies have the emotional range of a speck of dust.

Kath, on the other hand, seems very in tune with her emotions. She knows how she feels about Jack during Watch What Happens, and I personally don't think much changed between them between that and StBI.

I think it would've been far better to have Jack, this emotionally ignorant artist pining after Kath, the 'sure of herself' journalist helping make a better life for his family, despite the repercussions of going against her father, who was originally in it just to further her career but has grown to care for and love all of these kids.

Have I mentioned the projections?

I also haven't mentioned this at all, but I love the newsies that push in Jack's 'penthouse' and just sit at the bottom of the set pieces.

Bump

SHOVE

Also seeing Kath deck Jack right here (bc she doesn't know how to respond to him trying to kiss her) would be so much better than a kiss

Don't ask me why, just trust me

Their hug at the end of it though

IS IT NORMAL TO KNOW WHICH NEWSIE IS GOING UP THE STAIRS BY THEIR SILHOUETTE?

"We could hold a hoedown in here and no one would be the wiser"

"Hey!" "Hm?" "It's good to have you back again"🥰 "Shaddup."

BillDarcy

Y'ALL THEY TRADED VESTS AND THEY WANT US TO BELIEVE EITHER OF THESE BOYS ARE STRAIGHT???

Darcy's disgust

"B B Bill. So I suppose you're the son of William Randolph Hearst." "And proud to be a part of your revolution"😃

Nicholas Masson rolling his sleeves up-

Can we talk about how perfect a Javey first kiss would've been at "we ain't come this far to lose" without Kath being there

"HEEEEERRRREEE THEY COOOOMMMMEEE"

Tommy Bracco

Albert's lil nod

Smalls doing nothing but wiggling that bolt

look look

"BLEED EEEEM"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH FREEDOM"

Spot doing nothing but standing and looking intimidating

WHACK

HENRY HELP SMALLS

Ty 🥰

ALL THE ANGLES THROWING PAPES

"TEN THOUSAND FISTS"

LAYERS

LAYERING VOCALS IS MY KRYPTONITE

A;SLDKFHAPSHGPAIUSFGP

BAM "THERE'S CHANGE COMIN ONCE AND FOR ALL"

THE FUCKING KEY CHANGE A;LSDGHPAOUSFGPANS I SCREAM. I CRY. I FOAM AT THE MOUTH. I LOVE THIS SHOW

Stomp

"WELL I'M SORRY-I AM-"

"Sorry"

"Such language"

"MORNIN GENTS"

hat

I didn't know you could throw money in an inherently queer-coded way but here we are

The way Jack sits in the chair and gets confy

"Oh, we're your loyal employees"

"Oooohhhh"

"WHAT'S THAT MAKE YOU"

Ben Fankhauser

The chorus starting up again and Jack just 👀

Spot taking off his hat again

wavey wavey wavey

Race 'cheers'ing with his cigar

"So what's your next move"

MISS

MEDDA

"Joseph Joseph Joseph"

Hummy hummy hummy

"Bully"

Shakes hand "My god"

"I'd do it with a SMILE"

"A soft head"

"He doesn't do happiness does he?"

HANNAH

HANNAH ILY

"I'm young. I ain't stupid"

"I GOT CONTITUENTS WITH A LEGITIMATE GRIPE"

Wiggle finger

"iT's a CoMprOMIse WE cAn All LiVE WiTH"

Spit shake

"andtheWorldwillknow"

TOMMY

FINCH

RACE BUTTONS ALBERT ROMEO I LOVE ALL OF YOU

THEIR SIGNS

HUGS FOR EVERYONE

Why does every actor who plays Roosevelt look exactly the same????

"Ya miss me?!" YES😭

Davey swallowing his laugh when Crutchie calls Roosevelt 'your highness'

"Don't sweat it, gov"

"tarantulas?"

"And we're family" YEAH YOU ARE BABY

"show me that backseat I been hearing so much about"

Albert's gimme gimme gimme motion

"G U Y S"

Race's lil hop

"I been I been BUSY"

smacksmacksmack

"CARRYIN THE BANNER MAN TO MAN"

"HERE'S THE HEADLINE"

Jeremy Jordan counting his steps

"WHOO"

"OF NEW YORK"

*incoherent shouting* "NEWSIES OF NEW YOOOORK AYOOOOO"

Tommy being slightly off

Kick

Spin

Flip

Clap clap

CHAZ WOLCOTT IS SO FKING TALENTED

shrug

BART

slide

I DON'T REMEMBER HIS NAME BUT THE GUY WHO PLAYS DARCY DOING FLIPS WITH NICK MASSON (WHO PLAYS BILL)

Specs falling when they do the lil cartwheels

All their lil hops and bows

THE DELANCEYS HANDSHAKE

AKB

Kara Lindsay being a lil early

JJ almost eating it

HYPEHYPEHYPEHYPE- Race, Mike, Ike, and Spot

JJ boogeyin

Kara and Ethan boogeyin

Kara and Jordan hugging

Nick swinging from the set

Ben and Sky doing a handshake and Ben almost knocking Sky over going for a chest bump when Sky wanted a hug

I DID IT

I FINISHED IT WITH ENOUGH ROOM

I HONESTLY THOUGHT KONY WOULD MAKE ME NEED AT LEAST ONE MORE, BUT I THINK STBI COUNTERED IT

[thatoneguy031]

"Jason! Jason, wake up, you buffoon!" Jason woke up to see Cheren looking over his bed, appearing to be very upset. "Hey, dude," he said groggily. "...What's up? And where's Bianca?" Cheren pinched the bridge of his nose, sighing. "... Of all 7 years I've been friends with you, Jason, I could never understand how you can be so unaware of such important things... And Bianca's running late, as always..." "Unaware?" Jason still hasn't processed what today was yet. "...What are you talking about? I'm never 'unaware'!" he murmured. Cheren put his hands on his hips. "...Nothing important," he said, clearly still upset. "It's only your 13th birthday! Happy birthday, by the way." Jason, suddenly remembering what was supposed to be happening today, leaped out of his bed, startling Cheren. "Oh right! I've been waiting forever for this day to come!" As he went into his closet for a change of clothes, Cheren filled him in on what was supposed to be happening. "Bianca wanted to get you a gift before she got here, and... Apparently, the Professor has been wanting to give you a gift you were 'long overdue for'." Professor Juniper was, as her title implies, the Professor of the Unova region, studying Pokemon biology. She was also super-close with Jason and his family, often acting like a second mother to him and his older sister, Jayden. As if she was summoned, Jayden walked into Jason's room, and leaned on the door frame. "...'Birthday, little bro," she said in a tone that was hard to read. "What do you plan on doin' today? It is your moment, after all." "Wow, Jayden," Cheren said, disappointed. "You're not even going to wish you own little brother a happy birthday? Is it just 'another day' to you?" "Shut it, specs." Jayden turned her attention back to Jason. "So... You're finally a teenager. Now you're really livin' the high life. You'll still never be able to step to my level, though." Jason was too excited to pay attention to Jayden's snide remarks. He put on his blue jacket, dark-blue jeans and work boots(Which his father gave to him as a hand-me-down a few years ago,) and stepped out of the closet, presenting his outfit. "How do I look?" he asked Cheren. "You look fine, can we get to the main event already?" he asked. "Main event?" "Yeah..." Cheren walked to Jason's desk, and pointed to a large present box with a blue ribbon bow on top. "...We're supposed to be getting our Starter Pokemon today." "Seriously?" Jason asked, unable to believe his ears. "Yup." Jayden stepped into the room and opened the box herself, tossing a small note to Jason. "Wait, what are you doing?" Jason asked. "Don't you think we should wait until Bianca gets here?" Jason would have sworn that he saw Jayden hesitate, but she kept her cool. "'Course not," she said nonchalantly. "She said that I could get a 'mon before her, since she won't be here for a while." She picked up a random Poke Ball, and released the Pokemon inside. It was a small, green snake-like Pokemon, with leaves for hands and yellow markings around its eyes. Jayden smirked. "Why, hello, little guy," she said, picking it up.

...

Sorry this post is as long as it is, I just want to get this out in as few parts as I could, and I'm making sure that some context was provided before I got into the swing of things. Either way, I hope y'all enjoy this story, especially what's to come later on. I have some awesome things planned for the future. Stay awesome, dudes! ~ThatOneGuy

[bardcharms]

You get 21, 68, and 6

21: The Hustle — Kiltro

gasolina / for curious dreams that / are haunted, disquieting, kind, or uneasy / I’ll wait til you break / I’ve got patience for years

IF I HAD TO CHOOSE MY LITERAL SONG OF THE YEAR….IT WOULD BE THIS ONE!!! so excited i had to use orange. yea I know it’s number 21, i have no idea how it’s that low on my list, it should’ve been 1st. so fun ramble! i saw this band, Kiltro, back in september and to this band is so fucking incredible live, oh my god. it was at a venue with only like 25 people, i danced the entire time with my cane like a madman, i felt so alive and their music still imbues me with such fantastical energy

ramble part 2 but about the song this time. they’ve got such incredible energy—syncopation and multiple guitar tracks and such a plucky, adventurous vibe. in the actual studio recording for this song, they messed up on the lyrics during their studio take! the missing lyrics are on official lyrics lists but not on the album, but uh. they’re fucking badass

anyways. kiltro’s music is really important to me. i latched onto em in the same way i latched onto lord huron years ago and there’s just so much love in my heart for these dudes, they’re all so nice and their music slaps

68: Ends of the Earth — Lord Huron

just ‘cause I’m ready to die for you baby / doesn’t mean I’m ready to stay / what good is livin’ the life you’ve been given / if all you do is stand in one place?

ooough and speaking of lord huron. this song is all about unrealistic expectations. though there’s so much love in the singer’s tone and the way he describes his adventures, the way he wants his lover to come to see the beauty he’ll see…his leaving is more important than his love after all— like he’d already made his decision. god I love this song, it’s gorgeous really! there’s just something about this first album that’s so intriguing from a storyteller’s perspective

6: Crystal Ball — Keane

i don’t know where i am / and i don’t really care / i look myself in the eye / there’s no one there

who are you when you lose yourself? this is a song that resonates so hard, between dissociation and a lack of self, god. do you give too much of yourself? do you lose yourself in the search for more? this song feels like a delightful little puzzle piece in a larger story and i love it so much

[give-grian-rights]

CHAPTER TWO HOUR. CHAPTER TWO HOUR. I AM SO TIRED. IT IS 6AM. TELL ME IF HTERE’S TYPOS AND THAT NORMAL STUFF

Bets Against The Void, Chapter 2

Chapter 1

Chapter 3

Whitelist au from @petrichormeraki

Crossposted on AO3

Tubbo quietly chuckled, smiling fondly as their friend squawked indignantly. “Tubbo! I’m serious, explain some shit, fuckin’ nerd!” Tommy scoffed, prodding at their side with his elbow. Tubbo hushed him, their smirk still lingering.

  “Hermitcraft is a super crazy popular server. If you’ve ever searched for examples of builds on your tablet, chances are, they’re from one of the Hermits. Or if you looked up something about redstone! Anything! You’ll find one of their instructions. They’re geniuses- just, complete geniuses. Grian’s one of them-”

  “Grian’s one of them!?” Tommy exclaimed, his eyes shooting open. Tubbo’s grin widened, nodding vigorously. “Yes! He’s the newest Hermit, last I heard.. Most of the guys he’s teammates with every MCC, they’re usually other Hermits!” They’d continue explaining to the best of their ability.

  “Should’ve fuckin’ started with the fact that Grian’s here! That fuckin’ dude! He killed Dream three times! Three times, Tubbo!” The blond continued with his excited shouting. Well, that certainly fixed the situation, Tubbo mused.

  The brunett nodded along, chuckling. “Yeah! He, and most of the others, really- post all that much right now. The new World Client, with the axolotls and caves ‘n stuff? They’ve started posting and sharing discoveries about that.  I know Grian did, at least. But considering they call themselves the ‘Hermits’ it makes sense to be a bit inactive, yeah?” Tubbo shrugged, tapping the chilly cool sandstone beneath them.

  Tommy nodded dumbly, glancing around the room for a moment. Tubbo, meanwhile, had pulled their tablet up. The holographic comm system was displayed infront of them, everything on the screen they touched being read aloud to them.

  Launching an accessibility app, the tablet began describing aloud the block palette, dimensions, and colors. As the tablet’s robotic voice played in his com system, reading aloud the details of his surrounding, Tubbo nodded along to an incoherent rant from Tommy.

Tubbo wasn’t too sure what Tommy was ranting about- likely MCC, and Grian. Grian got a kill on Tommy, last MCC, if they remember correctly.  The brunnett wouldn’t be surprised if that was the target of the blond’s current tangent. Tommy hadn’t even been able to get a word out, when Grian began shouting vigorous apologises between matches.

  The descriptions from the tablet were long, and boring. The robotic voice drawing on and on, as it attempted to describe the intricate room. Shutting down the program, Tubbo tuned back into Tommy. 

  “Fuckin’ am..So fucking tired. Of course we ended up here. It’d be to easy if we’d just be let back into Dream SMP, huh? Think Dream even knew we were out? I bet not. Even if he does, probably didn’t even care, fuckin’ dick. Bet that green asshole’s just sitting over his code and shit, simping over Gogy-” The blond ranted heatedly. The blind teen could hear the shifting and chustling of fabric, before the boy’s voice became muffled.

  With his head pressed against his knees, legs drawn to his chest, Tommy sat there practically panting. His chest heaved, the rage draining from him. “Why is all- all of this, always so complicated, Tubbo?” Blue eyes turned to meet the scarred, burnt front of the other.

  Tubbo picked at faded and torn tennis shoes, tentatively listening. The rymnatic pattern of the boy’s breathing, and the crashing overhead, offered some vague comfort. “All of what?” They’d tilt their head.

  The younger of the two quietly sighed, his mouth pressed in a thin line. His hand clutched the bottom of his torn, tan cargo pants, fidgetting with the frayed ends. “Us. Shit with us, it always gets so fuckin’ complicated. Big Man, you’re president. You’re- you’re the fucking president, now, Tubbo.”

  The bunnett’s brows furrowed together, as they inched closer to their friend. “Yeah. But it’s- it’s still us, y’know? If- if life was easy, then we’d be missing out on a lot of things. What if we had just never met-”

“We’d always meet eachother, Tubbo. There’s no fuckin’ getting rid of me, even in your fantasy world.” The blond nudged the teen’s shoulder, a wolfish grin evident in his tone.

  That made the other crack a smile, shaking their head. “I hope so, Tommy.” They’d chuckle, shaking their head. The weight of the day came crashing down all again. Before the rushing thoughts could boggle down their mind, Tubbo slumped against Tommy’s side sigh an exhausted sigh.

  “This is just, livin’ the fucking life, huh?” Tommy remarked, looking over his friend. The tall boy already shifted himself, his long legs sprawled out on the floor with his back leaned against sandstone walls.

  His head leaned against that of his compaignian, half-lidded blue eyes giving one last surveillance of the room. “We’ll figure this shit out tomorrow..” Tommy mumbled, glancing down at the brunette.

  Tubbo was already asleep, their expression finally one of peace. Tommy wasn’t given a moment more to appreciate the serenity of the quiet room, before he’d be pulled into slumber as well.

  Both of the teens were stirred awake by the whirring noises of an active portal- the Netherportal beside them, with particles flying, gaveway to two players. Tommy kicked himself up to his feet, defensively. Tubbo stumbled along with him, pulling back away from the strangers.

Though two stepped out, only one immediately caught Tommy’s eyes.

  “W- Holy shit!  You’re Grian!” Tommy squawked indignantly.

  Tubbo’s head immediately shot up, excitably breaking into a grin. Any exhaustion the two held was wiped away- neither was sure how long their unrestful sleep had been, but it was far more than other nights. 

  The target of the excitement, Grian, sheepishly stood there, nodding. “Uh, yeah! You guys are Tommy and Tubbo, yeah?  I’ve seen you at most of the MCC’s I’ve been to. You both did really good last time, by the way! I’m really looking forward to the next one!” 

This was easily the closest they probably ever were to the dirty blond. He also looked far more at ease, on this server. The iconic figure, ever-present in the community, had his wild mop of a fringe frazzled and framing his face.

  Poking under the bangs, Tommy could now see faint, ragged lines from a scar, along with other various healed-over wounds. Another contrary to how either of them had seen Grian, at MCC, was the large circular glasses loosely sat on his face.

Seeing one of his heroes like this (The only one that hadn’t betrayed, killed him, turned against him, despised him-) in such a..Domestic state, was bizarre. Tommy was scrambling for words, starting and giving up on getting his tongue around what to say.

  “This is so cool! Hi! I used to watch and- and listen, to a lot of your old build tutorials! A lot of people on our server would always say how we learned building from you!” Tubbo would blurt out, practically bouncing on their heel. Grian turned to the teen, slightly shocked but amused. 

  “Oh! I- well thank you! I’m glad I could be any help at all- my builds are nothing compared to some of what the other Hermits have going on..Speaking of others- this is Stress!” He’d take the opportunity to escape the small spotlight, glancing towards the brunette woman next to him sheepishly.

  The woman- Stress, apparently, quietly chuckled. A fond smile grazed her face, as she looked over towards the two teenagers. “Ello there, Loves! Sorry to interrupt your fan meetup,” She teased, side-eyeing the dirty blond beside her.  “We just wanted to come and check in, is all! X told us two to come visit, yeah?”

  Tommy quietly hummed skeptically,  surveying her. Short brown hair hung barely as low as her shoulder, a neat, white, blue, and pink flower-crown sat upon her head. The colors must’ve been very purposeful, considering they matched with her colorful outfit of the same color.

  “Fine, sure..Well, we’re still fuckin’ breathing, and we’re here. So you don’t really need to be here any longer, yeah?” Tommy scoffed, slumping back against the wall. Tubbo was already standing, nudging at his side. 

  “Thank you, for checking in. I- I’m sure this is a bit of a strange situation. That- Yeah, that’s my bad.” They chuckled sheepishly, rubbing the back of their neck. This caught Stress’ attention, turning towards the tene.

  “Oh, no! This isn’t a problem at all. Dear, this happens all the time. Grian just- just appeared, one day, in our previous server. We walk out the portal for the first time- and boom! There that weirdo is!” Stress chuckled, her grin unwavering as she gave a playful nudge to the dirty blond beside her.

  Grian scoffed, a smirk edging at his lips as he rolled his eyes. “Okay, but I’m not the only example of that happening- you didn’t have to pick me out specifically!”

  “Sure I do, Love! You’re the first new Hermit to join, after me and Zed! I get to bully you, lovingly!” She cheered. Stress’ energy was absolutely efficacious, Tubbo couldn’t help but smile and cackle at her and Grian’s banter.

“Uh huh,” Grian scoffed, dramatically crossing his arms. “Last I checked, that was Iskall’s job to bully newcomers- oh, Gord, when you all walked out of the portal and they just decked me ? I mean, it didn’t really hurt all that bad, but it’s a matter of the principle!”

  Stress seemed like she was almost gonna break down with laughter, clutching her stomach. “I forgot they did that with you, too! Iskall certainly is one that needs work with their introduction, that absolute weirdo!” She chostled, shaking her head fondly.

  She then turned towards the two teens, reassuringly smiling. “They won’t give you any hard time, they’re just like that sometimes, especially in the beginning of a new season..They’re usually just incomprehensible in the beginning, I learnt!” She giggled, covering her mouth.

  Tubbo awkwardly laughed, nodding. “Yeah- they, they sound like something.” It was..A strange environment, to be sure.

  Sure, they knew of the Hermits, their reputation impossible to avoid- but most outsiders didn’t know much about the actual Hermits. They went by that title for a reason.

  Tommy was having similar thoughts, he felt as if he was completely imposing on, everything. But he couldn’t find it in himself to care- it frankly was..Warming, almost, to see this. He missed being able to have that, on Dream’s server. 

  The blond in particular seemed to have tuned out, because by the time he snapped out of those thoughts, Grian was speaking again.

  “We’re glad to see you’re both alright, but, I don’t think we’ve been exactly great hosts. You both have gotta be hungry- I know the last thing you two seem to want is help, but..We’d be happy to help you however we can.  We can go get you fresh, real food. Or- you both come with us, and we take you to our central area, the Cowmercial district.”

  Tommy stared blankly at Grian for a moment, brows knitted together in bewilderment. “The… Cow..merical district?” He’d repeat, squinting.

  Grian snickered, nodding. “Yeah! The name just stuck. It’s our shopping district. We have a bakery- it’s never, ever too early for cake. There’s Doc’s shop, but that’s all villager-bought, if it’s the rare occasion that it’s stocked at all- so the Bakery may be the only option, for today.” He glanced back at Stress, who nodded in agreement.

  “Only if you’d want to,” Stress would interject. “Either of us could come bring you food here- but, we figured you might want to just..Get out. You’re allowed to leave here whenever you want- but, navigating our server by yourself, for the first time? Not the easiest.”

  The two teens glanced towards eachother. Tubbo looked like they were practically buzzing in place, at the idea of exploring the Hermits’ world. Tommy watched them for a moment, before quietly scoffing.

  “..Yeah, okay, sure- how the hell do we even get out of here though, for starters?” Tommy crossed his arms, inching closer towards Tubbo. He, for one, was really not a fan of having to fly out.

  Stress cheered excitably, pulling open her inventory. The woman promptly dropped a stack each to the two teens. “I came prepared, just in-case!” She grinned. With a swipe of her arm, the digital screen dissipated.

  “If you know how to use elytras, X already said he’s more than happy to lend out two from the back-up system. I have some to spare, as well.  But- you two never seemed the most comfortable in the air, during flight-based games.” Grian would add awkwardly, adjusting his own wings behind him. 

  Tommy didn’t pay much attention to the words- instead, he promptly threw open his inventory, gawking at the full stack of pearls. “What! I don’t think i’ve ever had this many pearls! Holy shit!” He pulled out the stack of sixteen.

  One pearl manifested in his hand, while a holographic icon hovered beside him. The pixel-image of an enderpearl, with a large 15x in the corner in white font was projected for only his vision. The blond couldn’t remember a time he had so many enderpearls.

  “Thank you! Wow- yeah, pearls aren’t really common in our server!  This- this is really nice!” They felt giddy, as they pulled their’s out as well, the action muscle-memory.

  “Well, I’m glad you two can put them to good-use, then!” She chuckled. The idle question of how can a server lack pearls skimming through her head for a moment.

  Within seconds of her saying that, Tommy had already blindly tossed one of his pearls- promptly falling down from the ceiling, and landing on the floor with a short shriek. Tubbo straightened up from the sidelines, tilting their head.

  “Tommy! What did you do?” Tubbo called out accusatorily, as they quickly popped their surrounding descriptor back on.

  “Nothing!” Tommy quickly yelled back, lunging to their feet with a stumble as they dusted themselves off.

  At the sidelines, Stress and Grian cackled, watching in lighthearted amusement. Tommy could feel his face flushed red with brief embarrassment, quickly attempting to play it off.

  “Truer answer; I was being awesome. That was what, Tubbo. Are we eating or what? I want to throw pearls and go places. And eat, that too.” He quickly turned towards the two Hermits expectantly, narrowing his eyes at them.

  Grian grinned, nodding. “Yes, yes we are! I have boats. Go ahead and pop up with your pearls, and we’ll fly out to you.” He explained briefly, pulling the boats from his inventory. The thin, digitized object manifesting in his hand. 

  Tommy turned expectantly to Tubbo. “You got this, Toob?” He tilted his head, watching his friend. Tubbo had immediately nodded vigoriously, running over towards the center of the room, the ceiling above open to the water. 

  “Yeah! I’ve got this, Big Man! No sweat!” They gave a toothy grin, shifting the enderpearl in their hand. Arching their arm back, the teen cautiously stepped back.

  Their communicator had continued reading off the details of the room into their thin earpiece,  primarily the dimensions. All they had to do was hit the wall leading up to the surface to get out. They could do that, surely.

  With a huff of effort, they chucked the pearl. They heard it  break through the under-surface of the water, and then they were submerged. Breaching the surface, they gasped for a moment. The ocean rippled, clothes heavy and soaked. They were certainly glad they had been in their casual clothes, rather than their presidential outfit.

  Within a moment, Tommy was up beside them, quietly gasping as well. The blond pushed his hair back, lightly nudging Tubbo away from the gaping hole in the water beneath them- and then Grian and Stress flew out.

  The sound from the rockets were deafened from beneath the ocean, thankfully. Only a thin trail of smoke followed them, the sight certainly unfamiliar to the fireworks the two teens had been accustomed to.

  Both Hermits had dived straight into the shallow water with a splash, before the dirty-blond dropped down two boats.

“I want to drive! Tommy, i’m driving us!” Tubbo cried out, at the sound of the wood hitting the water. Beside them, Tommy scoffed.

“Tubbo! I’m not gettin’ motion sickness! We just woke up, no way. Your idea of ‘driving’ is no one elses, my friend.” He rolled his eyes, crossing his arms as he pulled himself into the boat. Beside him, Tubbo whined.

  “C’mon, man! Nothing like a bit of motion-sickness to get the day started!” They playfully remarked. Despite that, they had already accepted their defeat, pulling up into the boat.

  Stress and Grian watched the teens carefully, with Stress laughing lightheartedly at the banter between them as she pulled herself into the boat, behind Grian.

  Grian, on the otherhand, was mostly quiet. A thin wisp of a smile was present, conveying one of bemusement. Tommy didn’t get a good look, but, he couldn’t quite pinpoint the look from Grian. He didn’t like it.

  “Alright,” The older Brit at hand started. “We’re real close. No one should be at Looky Looky At My Cookie- and it should be early enough that there aren’t any real occupants at the Cowmerical District.” He explained, turning the boat as he got a small start ahead of the teens.

  “Sure, then! That sounds g- wait, what’s that name?”

“C’mon, then!” Grian wouldn't answer Tubbo’s valid question, before boating off. Tommy quickly following behind, shouting indignantly after them.

  It certainly was odd. It felt..Comforting, here. Certainly not relaxing. The opposite of cf relaxing- Tubbo had nothing but the craving to do something. But it was..Welcoming. It was strange. They hadn’t felt so- so unbothered, since..Ever, really. They liked it.

  Tubbo wondered if it could stay this way.

  Tommy wondered what the hell they were about to get themselves into.

[ashintheairlikesnow]

Disaster Lads, Part Two: The Flirtening

The second part of my AU collab with @whumpiary, Cass (Ace) and Kauri meet, and inevitable disaster ensues. Read Part One right here for context! This is part two, where shameless flirting is on the menu when Cass and Kauri head off to eat.

Things get, uh, spicy starting in Part Three. But I highly recommend you all reading Kauri just fail at flirting when he’s not using his training here...

CW: Shameless PG-13 flirting, discussion of past noncon/dubcon, discussion of an abusive relationship from the point of view of a survivor with fucky headspace, referenced consensual spice, discussed abusive relationship with INCREDIBLY dubious consent issues

Kauri pulls down on the stretched-out neckline of his shirt, and even in the dim alley, a bit of a large, twisted scar shows over his collarbone. 

"He paid a lot of money for, for me. I wasn't supposed to be able to leave. I took out the thing he put in to control me."

“Holy shit dude,” Cass breathes, fingers ghosting over the glossy pink of the scar tissue. He barks a sharp laugh of disbelief, looking back up to Kauri’s face like he’s something close to holy. He raises the hem of his own shirt, runs his thumb over the scar along his ribs. At least that particular excavation had been a success. “Snap.”

Cass grins, craning his neck to look closer at Kauri’s scar. He doesn’t even know Kauri, but looking at the mangled skin along his collarbone he feels something close to pride. 

“So, what? You cut out a tracker or something and then, what? You just… you just walked away?” he says. He can barely breathe with the thrill of that. This skittish, weedy little twink had more courage in his clavicle than Cass had in his whole body.  He’d dreamed about leaving Christopher so many times. He’s thought about leaving the Facility too. Of course he did. Everyone did. But you couldn’t just leave. “Weren’t you scared?”

"N-no, I ran away with it still… in me." Kauri grins, not quite nervous at the touch to his scar - he actually feels a little flutter of pride in himself, something Nat is always telling him he's allowed to have. That what he did was hard, especially for one like him. 

He can't quite hide his eyes lingering a little on Cass's scar. 

"It was, um…" He gives a kind of carefree smile, maybe the fakest one yet, and tries not to let himself think too hard about the rage and the pain. "A… like a shock collar. In my… skin." He flushes, looking down. "I fucked up really badly, and he just-... But, no. It wasn't because I… anyway, I ran away with it still in. I had to cut it out later because he wouldn't… stop…" He trails off, eyes sliding away, back down the way they'd come, looking ashamed of himself more than anything. 

He wouldn't stop because I ran away, I left him, I was all he had and I betrayed-

"He put up the reward after that."

Cass feels his heart sinking as Kauri talks. The long, hard nosedive Kauri takes from pride to shame is palpable. Visceral. It sits in Cass’ chest like a hunk of rock and he would do fucking anything to shift it. 

“I’m sorry,” Cass says, voice rasped. He can barely even look at Kauri. There is so much fucking guilt. “I’m so sorry that happened to you.”

Cass stares at the zipper of Kauri’s oversized sweatshirt so he doesn’t have to make eye contact. He wonders for a moment if maybe he should kiss him again. Easy distraction. Bit of fun. But the line of panic that has spiked up again, talking about his past. About his… owner. Cass pushes the impulse away, gives Kauri’s knee a friendly nudge instead. His smile doesn’t quite reach his eyes.

“But hey, at least you got away, right?” Yeah, and ended up homeless for his efforts. He’s really livin’ the dream.  “Now that sadistic fuck can die lonely.”

"I hope not," Kauri says, softly. "He was lonely, that's what I was for. I was supposed to fix it but I kept fucking it up." He catches this before it can go too far, too, and pushes himself away, as if trying to escape the thought. The spiral of guilt that ate him alive sometimes, the knowledge that him leaving was ruining Owen's life. It's his fault, because he couldn't take everything he was given. 

He hadn't been good enough at loving him. And he wasn't a good enough pet to go home. 

He wants to go home, back to Owen, so badly it hurts. Curl up in his lap and say he was sorry, he wouldn't ever leave again. Let his head be tipped back and be reminded that Owen might not love him but he wants him, which means he matters. And he wants to never ever do that, both at once. Is pretty sure Owen would kill him if he did.

He just has to find other people who want him instead, to fill that space. 

Kauri digs into his pockets, rummaging around until he finds a handful of bills all crumpled up. "Come on. I fucked up your night, I might as well buy you some fries or something? I mean, if you want. There's a place open all night near here, they like me, I can probably get you a milkshake for free."

Cass tries his best not to stare too pityingly at the woeful amount of cash in Kauri’s hand. 

“Yeah. Alright. Why not?” he decides all at once, pushing up from the ground “But either you get it for free or it’s on me. I definitely owe you one for the shiner.”

“I can buy you fries,” Kauri says almost dryly, although he stuffs the money back in his pockets quickly enough. It hadn’t been the best panhandling day, but he’d been in one of his slow spots and kind of expected it. But he wasn’t the only ex-pet wandering the streets begging for cash, and they tended to trade off areas to make sure everyone got an equal shot at the people who were more likely to give a little more.

As Cass stands, he feels the world slide backwards away from him at the weight of Kauri's wants come crashing down over him; booming echoes of regret and guilt and fear that go on further and deeper than any of the words he'd said aloud. 

There are people in the world who keep their thoughts inwards. Their desires are still there and ready to be listened to but it's almost like background music, a hushed murmur like a conversation in a library. And then there are people like Kauri, full of aching and wounds and messy thoughts, who feel things so loudly it almost hurts. 

Want to go ho- should’ve been a better pe- make him feel bette- he’s going to kill m- want to matter. Need to matter to someo- I’m so sorry Mr. Owen

Grief strikes at Cass in waves, just being near everything Kauri’s thinking. It’s dizzying. It's like the worst kind of homesickness. Yearning for a thing you can't have and don't want but need all the same. It's so much worse because the feeling's so familiar. Cass had hated every inch of Bergen Estate. And there'd been nights he'd have cut off his hand to be back with the devil he knew.

He screws his eyes shut against the pain of it spiking through his head, clinging to the wall with one hand as he feels the world tilt off its access. 

Cass wants to go home. He wants Christopher. He wants to throw up.

"Sorry," he croaks, eyes shut as he steadies himself. He lets out a ragged breath  "Must've stood up too quick or something. Gimme a sec."

Kauri frowns as Cass seems to tilt into the wall, nearly falling against it, and steps forward despite himself - whether or not he can really trust Cass or if he’s as nice as he seems doesn’t really have anything to do with if he needs help - and grabs at his arm to slide himself under it and help him balance.

“Hey, you okay? I think I can get you real food, not just fries. Have you eaten today? I fall over a lot when I don’t eat all day.”

Cass barks a laugh, but it's pale and wheezing. 

It's sweet. It's so incredibly sweet and charming and so fucking sad that that's Kauri first thought. But it's so earnest that Cass finds himself thinking back to what he has eaten.

"No, I've eaten plenty,  it's not that," he says, blinking his eyes open as the dizziness ebbs. "I just need-"

Need what? Need you to stop thinking about your fucked up Stockholm syndrome? Need you to stop feeling so saturated in shame and guilt it pours off you like an oil spill? He shakes his head, as if that'll be enough to clear the thoughts. 

"Yeah, uh, maybe you're right," he says, because he has to say something. People aren't fine one second and falling into an alleyway wall in the next for no reason "Need some real food."

“Then we’ll get you some,” Kauri says firmly, keeping himself under Cass’s arm to help him balance. “I’ll tell ‘em you kept me from being drugged, they’ll definitely give you free food, then.” He tries on a sidelong smile, going for something sort of dry and I’ve-seen-it-all but the expression doesn’t quite work - he’s too genuine to pull it off. 

“I know you just think I said I was sorry because I was supposed to, but I really am, um, sorry for pissing you off. I know people are mostly nice, I just… freaked out because of that guy earlier saying he would, um, would tell the cops who I was. Am. Was. Actually,” He changed subjects without even a pause for breath, walking with Cass out of the alley and onto the sidewalk, giving a cheery little wave to what was clearly a prostitute at the corner, who waved right back with sparkly fingernails that caught the streetlamp light. “Do you like milkshakes better or root beer floats? I had a root beer float for the first time at this place, it was so good.”

"Root beer floats are for six year olds," Cass teases through the thumping headache, taking care that his feet are keeping straight. "Strawberry milkshakes are the MVP."

He focuses on breathing in the crisp night air as they walk, already feeling better. It's stupid, actually, that he doesn't have more control over this shit. Weak that just a few minutes of someone else's thoughts and he's wilting like a fucking daisy. 

The place isn't far, as it turns out, but it seems like there's some displaced person on every corner that greets Kauri with a smile, or a nod. The guy’s obviously universally liked. The sort of person that people gave free milkshakes to. That people avoided calling the cops for, even if it meant missing out on some decent reward money. Like the universe figured he'd been served enough bullshit for one lifetime and was trying to protect him now.

"For what it's worth, I wasn't pissed at you," Cass says after about half a block. "To be honest, I'm usually pretty good at being selfish. But then when we started fucking around, some of the stuff in your head was just way too-" he blinks, stumbles on his words for a second "Like you, you wear your heart of your sleeve, I mean. And I dunno. I didn't want you to feel like… I dunno. It just got to me."

"Besides," Cass adds as they reach a crappy-chic little diner with a red sign "No offense, but I'd rather not get laid when the other person's terrified of me"

Kauri actually laughs at that, soft and kind of a sweet laugh. His voice is surprisingly deep for how small he is. “You’d be the first guy I’ve slept with in a while who cared about that.” There’s dry humor to his words, like Cass has said something sort of ridiculous that Kauri finds totally at odds with his everyday life.

“Besides, I wasn’t scared of you,” Kauri lies easily, and probably would have been perfectly believable if Cass hadn’t been able to feel the fear coming off of him at the time. “Just nervous about the bar. I used to never go out alone, but some stuff happened and I’m on my own, for now.” He shrugs, casually, pushing the door open and looking with a shy smile to an older woman behind the counter.

“Kauri, good to see you,” The woman says in a voice that says she’s been smoking since she was a teenager and that was no doubt a very long time ago. “It’s been a while.” Her eyes move to Cass, taking him in. All that comes from her is a vague sense of wishing her shift would be over so she could go home and sleep already. “Found yourself a new one?”

“Nah, just a friend.” When she raises an eyebrow, Kauri rolls his eyes. “An actual friend, Brenda, I have those.”

Cass grins a little despite himself. Kauri was an idiot. And way too trusting. But it’s sweet, being gently defended like that. It’s nice actually.

“First I’ve heard of it. Grab yourself a seat wherever, I’ll send Nick over to get your order.” She fixes a more scrutinizing eye on Cass. “You too, young man.”

“God, do you just bring out the White Knight side in everybody or something?” Cass says as soon as Brenda’s out of ear shot. Even as he says it, Cass’ thoughts slide to Matt at the bar, and then even further to Kauri’s owner — ex-owner — and he feels almost guilty for saying it. Maybe not everybody.

Kauri is just so fucking nice. He’s nice and he’s kind and he’s good. He deserves to have people defending him and looking out for him. Cass has known him for barely an hour and even he can tell that. But instead, the fuckheads of the world had found that goodness and twisted it and made it so he couldn’t say no – no just drink it don’t make him mad–  and he couldn’t ask for what he wanted - I want this I want you - and couldn't let himself be afraid –just say no Kauri you can just say no just say no stop it sto–

Cass scrubs a hand over his face and pushes his hair back, like maybe that’ll dislodge the sticky tar echoes of Kauri’s thoughts and the headache slamming an off-beat behind his eyes.

“What’s good here?” he asks, grabbing the laminated menu out from behind nearly-empty sauce bottles, desperate for the conversation to just stay normal for five minutes “It’s been fuckin’ ages since I’ve had diner food”

“Um, I mostly get cheeseburger and fries. It’s the cheapest whole meal and they usually give me more fries than it’s supposed to come with,” Kauri says, ignoring the menu entirely, drumming his fingers lightly on the shiny Formica tabletop. 

It’s the kind of menu that comes with pictures, and he could probably fake looking at it if he had to, but just the back of it facing him from Cass has him wincing if he looks too close. So he keeps his eyes carefully on Cass’s face, refusing to let the letters on Cass’s menu be anything more than unformed blurs. 

Instead he settles on pretending he’s such a regular he doesn’t even need the menu anymore. 

“I know they do, um, breakfast all day too so if you want eggs you can get those, or sausages, or whatever. I like their breakfast. Just get whatever.” He glances sidelong at Brenda, currently greeting another couple of customers, and then leans forward, putting a hint of a sneaky smile on his face.  “Just don’t get the fish. They don’t even know what kind of fish it is.”

Cass laughs, loud and loose as he tosses his head back, "Aw man. Now I want to order the fish" 

He puts the menu back in its place and scans his eyes over the patrons. The harsh pulse in his head is ebbing now, soothed by the soft, tired yearnings of late night diner patrons. There's a dad sitting in a booth across the room with his daughter, two giant milkshakes abandoned in favour of cramming tight in to play some video-game together on a tiny console. Cass watches as the girl points at the screen, stepping her dad through something with intense focus before they both cheer, throwing their hands up in victory. 

A side-hug. A high five. It's sweet. Heartwarming in a simple way. Even if they won't see each other tomorrow. 

Cass flicks his focus back to Kauri with a soft smile, "I can see why you like it here. Even if the fish is questionable, the people seem nice"

Kauri shrugs, melting a little under the softer smile. Most of Cass’s expressions have been sharp, and Kauri likes that, too, likes the way Cass flashes looks like light off a knife, but the softer look… Kauri grins back, hunching his shoulders forwards a little shyly. 

He feels weirdly warm all over, being looked at like that. It’s not an unfamiliar feeling, but it’s weird to feel it and not have the worry or fear running underneath it, too. For the moment, all he feels is warm.

“People are mostly nice everywhere I go,” Kauri says, trying to look away from Cass so it won’t seem like he’s staring, but he’s… not sure he’s pulling it off. 

A young man, about Kauri’s age or maybe younger, wearing a black apron tied at the waist over a white shirt and black pants, steps up with a little notepad in his hand. He smiles brightly at Kauri. “Hey, Kaur, you went out tonight?”

“Um, sort of.” Kauri shrugs again, making little circles on the tabletop with his finger. “For a little bit. Then this guy, um, I met… anyway. This is Cass. Cass, this is Nick.”

Nick glances over at Cass, taking him in with a slightly more false customer-service smile. Oh, sure, I only get the once but then you go find this guy who looks like he punches shit for fun…

“Good to meet you, Cass,” He says, brightly enough. “What can I get you two tonight?”

“Whatever he wants,” Kauri says quickly. “I’m buyin’.”

"That's still up for debate," Cass shoots back, grabbing the menu back again to make a show of his deliberation. Kauri’s got something a little giddy about him at the minute, and it's almost distracting, but it has nothing on the low level of jealousy and impatience radiating off of Nick. It's almost irresistible to play with. Nothing more than puppy love shit. But still enough to twist. 

"Let's see. I've heard amazing things about the fish," he shoots Kauri a wink, and the other man ducks his head, smiling down towards his own legs, biting his lower lip a little as he flushes. "But Kauri here reckons the cheeseburger's the way to go. So… two of those I guess? Oh, and a root beer float, right?" Cass flashes his very best smile at Kauri, who visibly brightens, before looking back at Nick, raking his eyes over him for a second as he slots the menu back into place, "Thanks hot stuff."

Nick’s customer-service smile freezes, just slightly, and there’s a moment where it’s clear that he is resisting the urge to roll his eyes with genuine difficulty. 

“Two root beer floats,” Kauri corrects, and then tilts his head just a little up at Nick in the same slightly-false way he’d done to Cass earlier in the night, seemingly without even realizing he’s doing it. “With cherries? I know they don’t come with them, but-”

“Yeah, Kaur, we know you get cherries.” Nick smiles, relaxing again, jotting that down. He clearly can’t tell that Kauri’s flirtation is artifice. “Let me see if I can get you and your, uh-” His eyes back on Cass for a second, uncertainly. “... friend here your floats on the house.”

Kauri doesn’t quite let out an audible sigh of relief, but the feeling is there. He won’t have enough for his bus pass after this, but that’s all right. There’s a bench in a park he can crash on, anyway, where he’s slept before. 

“See, there you go,” He says to Cass once Nick is gone. “Now we get drinks for free. Most people are really nice.”

Cass snorts a laugh. Hardly.

"I don't think it really counts as nice when they're just tryna get in your pants. That guy was a dick.” 

“He is not! He’s really nice! He let me stay over for breakfast and take a shower at his apartment, he didn’t have to do that.” Kauri’s jaw is set in a stubborn line, but it was still playful. He was relaxed here, in a way he hadn’t been outside the bar when it had all still been so fresh and he’d been scared of being found out. 

But if Cass was lying about promising not to tell, he was being really slow about it. Kauri doesn’t mind getting to have something nice first.

Cass glances over his shoulder at Nick, running the chances in his head. He looks back to Kauri with a grin, "Ten bucks I can get all our food on the house."

“Get all our food free? From Nick?” Kauri leans over, half-whispering the words, glancing sidelong at Nick putting the order in with the cook and then moving to start up the root beer floats. Nick looks their way and Kauri quickly turns his eyes back to Cass, half-laughing as he ducks his head down again. “I feel like letting you do that is really mean. But also I could really use ten dollars, so, uh, okay.” 

Kauri sits back up and sticks his right hand out across the table. “Shake on it?”

Cass grins like a shark, leaning forward a little further than necessary to shake Kauri's hand. "When he comes over next."

He risks another glance over his shoulder, struggling to hide a smirk as he watches the poor guy he's about to earn a meal from. Cass grabs at the ketchup bottle idly, spinning it in one hand as he watches. Nick's cute, in kind of an awkward, intense way. He gives the vibe of someone who was in a band in highschool and took it way too seriously. 

"He seriously took you home and didn't try anything?" Cass asks, turning back to Kauri. He tosses the bottle from hand to hand with nimble fingers. "What is he, a church boy?"

“Oh, no, I didn’t mean-” Kauri blinks, flushes bright red, and sits back in his seat again, unsure whether he was meant to be ashamed of this or not. It’s sometimes hard to tell - with Nat, yes… with most people, yes...

But Cass didn’t feel like most people. He felt almost like talking to another pet, except he had no idea what those were as far as Kauri could tell, and he’d been horrified by the idea, before. But he talked like he knew.

“No, we still… I just meant, a lot of people kind of say, um, ‘you were great, hope I see you around’, or whatever, and I just… go. Not everybody is okay with me staying over all night. But… he was. And he was really, really nice about it. He… wrote me a note and everything.”

Something went tight and uncomfortable in Kauri’s smile at that. He still had the note, shoved down in the pocket of the backpack he’d hidden in a secret hiding spot up in the vents in a bathroom at the park. He had no idea what was on it. 

“So get us free food but you gotta be nice to him about it, okay?”

Cass waves his hand, he smiles, replacing the sauce bottle back in its holder, "Yeah, yeah, yeah.”

He has to stop himself from cringing a little at Kauri's story. It's kinda cute, in a fucked up way. If you ignore that one of the leading men is only a part of the romance because he needs a place to crash. But it's also just… so blatantly innocent. Ridiculously, painfully naive. Cass shakes his head.

"Dude has it bad for you, huh?" It's strange that Kauri seems so oblivious to that fact when he's so very, very practiced in everything else. Ready to suck Cass' dick in an alley, no questions asked, but totally blind to the sight of someone head over heels for him "I still don't think that makes him nice. If this guy’s so nice why aren't you just shacking up all the time? What'd the note say?"

“I don’t, uh, I don’t know,” Kauri says, flashing the quick little making nice smile, looking away from Cass to glance out the window at the street outside. “I didn’t read it.”

He wanted to be able to read, for that to have been allowed, but Owen had wanted him a certain kind of way, he’d said it over and over again. I asked for a brainless slut, but shit, this seems like a little much, Kore-Bore. He had lots of papers in his backpack - things he’d been given for whatever reason. Pamphlets and handouts and the note from Nick, pages of books with cool illustrations. None of it he could read. All of it he hung onto because one day he wanted to. He knew words had been important, once, for whoever he’d been before. He wanted to make them important again.

“I don’t really stay with people more than once. If you stay a lot, people, um… want to know you.” Another flash of the nervous little smile. “It’s usually better for other people if they just see me sometimes. You know?”

Cass nods. He does know. Maybe not as well, or the same, but he knew. When you hung around someone a lot, they started looking a little closer. And once they started looking closer, they started wanting things from you. Sometimes they wanted something to hold over you. Sometimes they just thought they wanted to know you. But either way, they wanted your story, wanted to split you open and see all the ugly parts. Make a judgement.

“I get it,” he says, tracing lines between the grey flecks of the table top. He looks back up to Kauri, smiles something like understanding. Cass can’t give him much but he can give him that. He can give him understanding. “Safer that way, huh?”

Almost as soon as the words leave his mouth, Cass sees Nick out of the corner of his eye carrying over their two impressive looking drinks. He leans back in his chair, posture loose and open and grins at Kauri, bouncing his eyebrows conspiratorially. Game on.

“Here we go. Two root beer floats,” Nick says, placing the drinks down before he smiles at Kauri, gaze lingering a little long “Extra cherries.”

“Thanks,” Cass says, smiling as he pulls his drink close. He picks up his spoon, skimming a little foam of the top and turning the spoon upside down on his tongue. He waits for Nick to turn away before he pipes up again, as if on an afterthought. “Hey… Nick, right? Can you settle a debate for us?”

“Uh…” Nick glances over his shoulder, in the vague direction of Brenda, who was currently engrossed in the photos on some regular’s phone “Yeah, sure.”

“Well see, I think Kauri here must be your favourite customer, seeing that he’s scoring the drinks for free and all. But he seems to think he’s not that special,” he makes quick eye contact with Kauri, resisting the urge to wink. “You like him though, right?”

Nick gapes a little, clearly flustered as he turns slowly red. He rubs a hand over the nape of his neck while looking pointedly everywhere but Kauri. “Uhh… Yeah. Sure. I mean- you know. Everyone likes Kauri.”

“See that’s what I said, but he refuses to agree with me,” he says with a heavy sigh. “Reckon you could score him his food for free to convince him?”

“Oh. Um,” Nick glances at Kauri, clearly embarrassed that he’s been caught between a rock and looking like an asshole. “I dunno. The um, two drinks is already kinda...”

Cass groans in a teasing way, reaching his foot out to nudge Nick’s leg as though they’re dancing around the inevitable. Which… well... 

“C'ᴍᴏɴ ɴɪᴄᴋ,” he says, reaching into that part of him that wants so badly to impress the boy with nothing to his name than a pretty face and the twenty bucks in his pocket. Cass catches the waiter’s eye and tilts his head to the side in a shadow of Kauri’s little trade-mark. “Gɪᴠ�� ᴜs ᴏᴜʀ ꜰᴏᴏᴅ ᴏɴ ᴛʜᴇ ʜᴏᴜsᴇ.”

Nick glances back over his shoulder again at Brenda before looking at Kauri again, a rebellious little smile tugging at his mouth as he makes the choice. Or tells himself he makes the choice. “Yeah. Yeah alright.”

Kauri blinks, eyes slightly widening in surprise, but he covers it fairly well and smiles up at Nick with all his sweetness on display. “That’s really great, Nick,” He says, leaning his chin on one hand. Nick looks a little dazed at the attention from them both at once and swallows, almost compulsively, before he looks down with his head tilted, kind of rubbing at the back of his neck, a little shyly.

“I mean, it’s not like I’m doing much, just some food.”

“No, but it’s really cool of you, thank you,” Kauri says, sincerely. He’s not sure why Nick made that decision tonight, but he’s genuinely grateful for it. “Panhandling didn’t go super well today, it’s, it’s a big help.”

“Yeah, well.” Nick shrugs, and grins. “You want to apply for a job here, Kaur, you got it and you know it. I can get you an application, like, anytime.”

Kauri’s flirty little smile goes cold, for just a moment, and is immediately back to the artificial warmth from before. “Don’t worry about it,” He says, a little too softly. “You’re really cool, Nick, thanks.”

Nick just smiles back at him, gives he and Cass one more nod, and has his mouth open to say more when Brenda calls his name. “Gotta go, I’ll get your food out in just a minute.”

Kauri waits until he’s safely out of earshot before he leans forward, digging in one pocket with his hand. “How did you do that? I mean, I guess I’ve never actually asked for anything free, it just sort of happens sometimes, but… how’d you get the whole meal? I can’t believe he just gave it to you.”

He pulls a crumbled ten-dollar bill out of his pocket and slides it across the table. At least he can still look at numbers, if he’s careful. “All right, I owe you this.”

Cass grins, taking a spoonful of ice cream and turning it upside on his tongue as he looks over his shoulder, giving Nick a little wave and a smile. Poor sucker.

“Nah, keep it. Wasn’t really a fair bet.” he says, plucking one of the cherries from the top of his drink and topping Kauri’s with it instead. “You might be good at getting people to like you, but I’m good at getting people to do what I want. I knew he was gonna do it before I even asked.”

Kauri snorts, digging in himself, dipping the cherry out first to bite into it, enjoying the burst of cold sweetness on his tongue. “Clearly,” Kauri declares airily, “you have an ego the size of my dick.” He flushes, then, looking vaguely embarrassed. “I mean. Not, uh, mine. I mean, I think mine’s okay-...”

If he gets any more blood in his face he’s going to pass out.

“... I’m just going to stop talking now.” 

Kauri picks a big bite of ice cream off with his spoon and jams it into his mouth to shut himself up - only to wince when the brain freeze hits, groaning. Cass tosses his head back in a mad laugh at Kauri's self-spun embarrassment. Fuck he's cute. 

"Relax, man, don't hurt yourself," Cass says through the last of a chuckle, reaching out to grab Kauri's hand in mock-sympathy. "I'm sure you have a very nice-sized dick."

Kauri makes a sound that's somewhere between laughter and a please let me sink into the ground now noise, turning even redder if that's possible. He's not sure it is. 

He feels weirdly dizzy and his hand lights up where Cass touches him. He's sure he has the dumbest fucking smile on his face but he can't seem to stop it. 

Cass draws his hand back with a smirk and goes back to his own drink, taking a very deliberately very reasonably sized scoop of ice-cream from the top and tilting it towards Kauri before eating it. He looks at Kauri's face, still recovering from the flurry of a frozen head and the foot in his mouth. Cass taps his fingers on the table top, considering. How much did he want to show off?

"I mean like… you're not wrong, but it's also not ego if it's true," he shrugs "People just do what I want them to do. Call it a talent.”

Kauri feels an urge to say something like I would do what you want me to do, but he pushes it down. Last time Cass had… seen his training, and freaked out, and he doesn't want that to happen again. Cass was maybe the first person to notice when Kauri was in his head, at first. 

"Then why are you spending your time with a homeless guy and not, like, getting someone in a suit to buy you…" Kauri trails off. He has no idea what rich people eat, except what Owen ate, and he doesn't know if Owen was… like other rich people. He hopes not. "... I don't know, fancy steak or something?"

He leans over to sip through his straw, closing his eyes at the dark taste of root beer mixed with the cream and vanilla of the ice cream. 

It was getting increasingly difficult to even be in the general vicinity of Kauri existing and not be endlessly distracted by the slutty virgin shtick. The guy ate his root beer float like it was a gift from heaven, made by God personally and, even more infuriatingly, seemingly unaware of what that amount of blissful indulgence was doing to everyone around him. 

Not even seemingly unaware. Literally so. If it was intentional, the desire for attention would be rolling off of him in peutrid, sticky flashes. As it was, all Kauri seemed to care about right now was enjoying exactly what was in front of him. Cass has to stop himself from smiling too fondly. He was starting to see why the guy was so fucking liked. 

"I don't like people in suits. I like you," he says, simply. "Besides, you ever actually spend time with a rich person? They're all boring as fuck."

"Just, um, just the one rich person," Kauri says, trying not to let Owen's face find its way into his mind. How sad and lonely he must be by himself in the condo, without Kauri to curl up with him on the couch or in his bed. 

All by himself in the shower…

Kauri's eyes are distant, thinking of Owen drinking alone on the balcony with no one to talk to and be sad to, and he opens his mouth to say - something, he doesn't really know what, but he feels the sudden urge to tell Cass too much. To confess, just say I can't read and I can't look in the mirror I don't know what I look like I only know how to be good one way and everything they say about the ones like me is true and he hurt me and I still miss him - and just as the first vibration of sound is in his throat, Nick puts the plates down in front of them.

Kauri looks up at Nick with a smile shining with more gratitude than just bringing food out really calls for, and Nick blinks at him, a little thrown off. "You guys good? Need anything?"

"Everything looks great," Kauri says, with entirely too much sincerity. 

Cass smiles briefly at Nick in thanks as he grabs his plate, but he keeps his attention on Kauri, whose thoughts are currently as calm as a drum kit is when it's pushed down the stairs. Cass tilts his head to the side, eyes searching Kauri's face as Nick walks away. 

The same sadness and shame from earlier is coming off of him in waves, ebbing and flowing endlessly. A gentle desperation, searching for some way out, some way to relieve the constant storming.

"Did you want to tell me about him?" Cass asks, before he can stop himself, and immediately he feels the tugging of a yes and a no tangled violently together. He breaks eye-contact and turns his attention to the food. They really had given Kauri a whole damn mountain of fries. "The guy who, uh… who owned you."

There's no extra influence to it yet, no pressure. Just the question. Kauri could walk away from answering if he wanted. Sometimes a locked door didn't need a lockpick. Just the right key. 

Kauri picks up a fry, stares at it like it might bite him, then bites into it, half hanging out his mouth as he reaches to the side of the table, against the window, to get the ketchup bottle and pour some out on his plate, not quite looking up. 

Only when he finishes the first and picks up the second does he shrug, a little barely visible movement of his shoulders under his oversized zip-up. "You know how they say - people in, in movies say - that you can't force someone to love you? That's, uh. That's a lie. You can. You, um. He's… he was in a lot of movies, when he was a kid." Kauri's voice dips low, nearly a whisper. "Have you heard of Owen Grant? He was in, um, Dimmer Switch. That had a big international release, really popular in, um, overseas. And a movie about baseball when he was really young…"

Cass frowns, face twisting as he tries to place the name. He's heard of Dimmer Switch, he thinks, but he hasn't actually seen it. It sounded like the sort of cult classic horror junk Lou would watch. He's about to shake his head and shrug when he has a vague memory of an old VHS cover, a kid with insanely green eyes posing precociously with a baseball bat.

"Jesus Christ. The kid from fucking Swing for the Stars?" he blurts out as the pieces slot into place. Henri had been obssessed with that stupid movie. He shakes his head with a scoff, picking at the fries on his plate but not actually eating. It's kinda difficult to feel hungry, now. "What a fucking creep."

"Yeah!" Kauri brightens when Cass guesses right, a look of weird mixed sadness and guilt and pride on his face. "He was, um, that's what got him famous. Was that one. He's good in it, for a kid, right? Really good. He did a lot of movies but he stopped acting… um." There's a hesitation - he wants and doesn't want to tell Cass this, Cass is the only person he's ever said it out loud to. "He, um. You know who Vincent Shield is." His smile gets more nervous now. "I know you know, he's um, Nat always says he's like Tom Cruise. I, um. Nat says I… look like him. They used to be… they don't talk anymore. And Mr. Owen wanted… um." He swallows a bite the wrong way and has to clear his throat, fingers tapping nervously on the tabletop as he drank half of what was left of his root beer in one long go. 

"You can have someone made for you. If you have money." Flash of nervous smile again. "Mr. Owen has a lot. And he wanted the, um, Vince. To do that. To love him." 

A mix of cold rage and bone-deep sorrow sweeps through Cass like ice water. When Cass had gone with Christopher, when he'd agreed to sign his sentence over to the Bergen Estate, it'd been entirely his choice. He'd chosen to land himself juvie, he'd chosen to sign up to the indenture program, he'd chosen to sign that fucking contract, had chosen a life with Christopher. And he'd chosen when to end it.

He'd even chosen the Facility, chosen Tucker, in the end.

Kauri hadn't had any of that. Or at least, certainly not by the sounds. Cass had thought he'd looked familiar at the start of the night. Turns out he was just some poor bastard with a movie star's face.

"I'm sorry," Cass says for the second time that night. It's an effort to keep the shaking fury out of his voice. "I'm… that's horrible. That's really fucking horrible."

Cass runs his thumb up and down along the rim of his plate, clenching his jaw. The fucker wanted to force someone to love him, huh? He closes his eyes, takes a deep shaking breath, and swears he can see Christopher imprinted on his eyelids. I don't need you to love me back, darling boy, but I need you to know that I love you. He never thought he'd meet someone who made him feel lucky in comparison. He opens his eyes again, looking at Kauri with earnest. 

"You had a life, though, right? Before he took you? Why don't you just-" Cass cuts himself off and shakes his head, wiping a hand over his mouth like that could take the words back. For all he knew, Kauri had as much to go back to as he did. Maybe less. "Sorry. Stupid question. Don't answer that."

Kauri blinks at him, baffled by the question, before he smiles again. It’s a reflex more than an emotion - Kauri smiles to stave off conflict and deflect questions just as often as he smiles out of any genuine feeling. “He didn’t take me, he bought me. From a company, WRU? I don’t know who I was before.”

He shrugs. “The first thing I remember is training in the Facility. They, um… they probably know what my name was before. I don’t… remember it. They wipe us clean and then make us what the order form says.” He winces, reaching up to rub a hand against his head - the headache comes on fast, a sharp slice of pain across his mind, as soon as he tries to think any further back than training. 

“We sign contracts? We signed up for this.” The words come out almost monotone on the second sentence, clearly memorized, pushed out of him by some base conditioned instinct that isn’t even conscious thought. “All pets are of legal consenting age,” He intones, his eyes going distant again, before he shakes it off. “So, um. That’s why you can’t… I hope you won’t, anyway… tell the cops. Because I kind of broke the law, um, running away.”

It's so obviously a stack of beaten in, awful lies and Cass can't tell if Kauri actually believes them or has just had them forced down his throat so many times he doesn't know to say anything else. There’s an electric rage bubbling under his skin at the thought of Kauri being taken to some facility. Fucking signed up for it did he? Agreed to have his thoughts wiped clean and his personality reset to Sexdoll Barbie? What a crock of shit. 

Kauri flashes the sweet, slightly nervous smile again. “I’m a hardened criminal, believe it or not. I… I signed up for it, but… it doesn’t feel like I did...” He winces again, rubbing at his head. “Sorry. You did not sign up for all this when you tried to help me at the bar.”

"No, you're fine," Cass says, voice strained with the effort to keep it calm.  He doesn't know what else to say. “This isn’t exactly my first… fucked up backstory rodeo. I won’t tell anyone, I won’t say anything.” Cass’ word wasn’t worth much on a standard day, but he means this. “I promise.”

He stares at his food instead of Kauri, picks up a fry, puts it back down, turns the plate a little, picks up another fry. His vision darkens around the edges, a pressure in his head, and he realises his breaths have gotten quietly shallow and strained, air barely reaching his lungs. He takes a deliberately deep breath in, flashing a numbed smile at Kauri.

“It’s funny, well not- not funny,” he clears his throat “You’re the first person I’ve met who, uh… Look, I know a lotta people who have… contracts to people. To businesses. You’re the first person I met who doesn’t seem like they deserved it.”

Kauri tilts his head, glancing over at Nick - just around, really, but it seems like no one is listening in or anything - and then he turns back, reaching his hand back out, brushing his fingers against the back of Cass's hand holding the fry. 

"I'm okay," He says, reassuring, his voice low and sincere. "A lot of us have it, um, a lot worse than I did. Some pets get hurt a lot… I just, um." Another flash of his nervous smile. "Only after I messed up really badly. I was really lucky. He, um. He told me I was lucky all the time. I'm okay, Cass. See?"

A slightly sunnier expression, more sincere. He pushed himself up just slightly and leaned over to boop Cass on the nose.

"What could be more okay than hanging out with you, right? I don't mind. Don't feel bad for me or anything, I like moving around. Anything's better than not being allowed to leave, right?"

Cass finds himself smiling, despite himself, "Right."

He tries not to think about his bed back at the Facility, or the lab session he had tomorrow, or the interstate trip he'd have to do with Tucker next week. It wasn't the same. He chose to transfer his indenture. He could leave. He was here after all.

Kauri's a tragedy on legs and he doesn't even know it. He thought he was lucky because he wasn't hurt that much. Lucky, because he had the luxury of being homeless instead of chained to some guy's bed. And he was sitting here trying to make Cass feel better. He'd even been ready to give up his next-to-nothing savings to buy Cass a burger. It was almost enough to have you considering restoring your faith in the world.

Cass smiles again, properly this time, shaking his head. He shoves the fry in his mouth at last and grabs his glass, tilting it towards Kauri in a belated toast, "To moving around and root beer floats."

Kauri’s smile brightens even more and he picks up his already-half-gone glass almost eagerly to clink the rim against Cass’s. “Right! To never being stuck behind a locked door, ever again. That’s why I’m really lucky. When I got the chance to walk away… I could.” 

Well, not walk.

Throw himself out of a moving car, rolling along the road curled around his backpack to protect it, and then run like hell while his collarbone lit up and dropped him to the ground, again and again and again… 

But Cass didn’t need to know that part.

“Nat says the ones like me usually can’t.” He paused, considering something, eyes moving over Cass’s face thoughtfully. “And, hey. I really, honestly do think you’re, um, cute.” A hint of the flush again, unpracticed and genuine. “I know that you think it was because I was scared and that I was just saying it so you wouldn’t tell anybody about me, but… I can, uh. I can just want things like normal people do, too. You know? If I asked again and I wasn’t scared… what would you, um… what would you say?”

Cass smirks, and picks up his glass, ignoring the straw as he takes a long, slow drink from the rim before replacing it and sitting back in his seat. He tilts his head to the side, considering. What would he say?

There was no denying Kauri's attractiveness – he had the face of a goddamn movie star for fuck’s sake – but what was a pretty face stacked up next to a story so tragic the guy had to apologise just for telling it?

He thinks back to outside of the bar. The horrible whiplash between the desire to please and the terror to refuse. The faint, bitter aftertaste of I don't want this after every touch, every kiss. Even sitting here, now, Cass feels his stomach flip, his throat close up at just the thought of it.

But then he thinks about how Kauri looks, enjoying his float, complete and unapologetic bliss painting his face. Or the starry-eyed awe when Nick had agreed to the free meal. The way he's blushing right now, an equal mix of excited and unsure. That kind of enthusiasm was something Cass could get on board with. If Kauri asked him again and he wasn't scared, if he looked at him like that?

He lets his eyes travel down Kauri's torso and then back to his face. Lets his tongue flick out over his lips, as his mouth tugs into a dangerous smile. 

"Baby if you wanted it..." – if you really wanted it – "...I would eat you alive"

Kauri’s shy smile widens, until the usual hint of teeth instead flash bright white and light up his entire face, wide blue eyes sparkling, looking right at Cass, not ducking his head or using the practiced head-tilt at all. Just genuine, outright joy. 

“Do you, um…” The blush again, and he bites down on his lower lip, sitting leaning forward with his shoulders hunched, watching Cass’s face. He’s not as good as being suave as he wishes he was, and has to hope Cass is as much into a stammering mess as he might be into someone who had themselves together a little better than this. “... do you promise?”

Cass smiles at the blush, at the awkward. It's so much better than the low airy voice of complacency. He reaches forward, his fingers drawing a line up the back of Kauri's hand until they're sneaking their way up the cuff of his sweatshirt. He could almost swear there was electricity buzzing underneath Kauri's skin.

"Why don't you finish your burger? Maybe I'll prove it"

It feels, to Kauri like every spot Cass touches on him sparks and lights up, the feeling of his fingers lingering after he has pulled his hand back. Kauri wants to be on his knees or his back with Cass so badly he could scream.

He picks up his burger but he hardly cares about it now, he’s more interested in eating the exact amount necessary for Cass to figure it was enough to count as ‘finished’. Something about being way more honest about himself than he ever was with almost anyone feels like pure weight off his chest, leaving Kauri almost drunk on the feeling, more than he’d been drunk on the actual booze back in the bar. 

“I think I need to know more guys like you,” Kauri says, feeling a little dizzy with how fucking great tonight has ended up. He needs to know more guys who care if he’s scared or not, who even notice. He needs more guys who do the right thing when someone needs help.

“You’re really fucking nice, Cass.”

Cass snorts, throwing a fry in his mouth and speaking through a mouthful of potato, “I’m really not. You just caught me on a good night.”

If he’d been another few drinks in when he’d first noticed Kauri, he would’ve turned a blind eye and melted away to make out with Krystal or Kylie or whatever her name had been instead. If he’d been feeling a little more reckless fighting the douchebag in the corner, they’d probably both be sitting in a jail cell. If he’d been feeling a little more self-destructive outside the bar, a little more dangerous, he could’ve ignored the screaming in his head, the screaming in Kauri’s. He could’ve just kept kissing him. He could’ve… would’ve…

It doesn’t matter what he would have done, he tells himself. Because he didn’t. Not this time. That was what counted.

He wishes he believed it.

“What about your friends?” he asks, trying to shake off the thoughts rattling him as leans forward to dip a fry in Kauri’s sauce “They’re not nice?”

“Yeah, they are.” Kauri smiles a little. “I stay with them sometimes.” There was only one person he always picked up the phone for. The only person who knew all the bad things inside of him, not just the ones Kauri felt safe sharing. “But he’s, um.” Kauri’s smile slips and then reappears just as quickly as he shoves the guilt deeper down inside of himself, buries it under a cascade of not fucking now, damn it. 

“I’m kind of taking a break from bothering him with my shit.”

Kauri shifts around in the booth, moving to sit with his back to the window so he can pull his knees up, a hint of skin showing through where holes were beginning to wear. 

“He’s probably pretty happy to have me stop showing up at his door all the time. We just… sorry, none of that’s important.”

Cass taps his fingers in a steady rhythm on the tabletop as he watches Kauri carefully from across the booth. He doesn’t want to talk about this, Cass’ mind supplies. Literally anyone could see how uncomfortable Kauri was. Scared, even. 

“Nah you’re good,” Cass shrugs with an easy smile “I just wondered.”

Cass wants to ask what happened between the two of them. More than to empathise, he just wants to know the story. Which one of them fucked it up so bad that ‘only real friend’ goes to nothing. It was pretty fucking clear that Kauri thought it was his fault. But to be fair, Kauri more or less thought that getting punched in the head was his fault.

Cass wants to know the truth of it so bad. Instead he changes the subject. 

“I kinda fucked up your chances to find a place to stay tonight, huh?” 

Kauri snorts, resting his chin on his knees, watching Cass with a hint of the same small smile on his face. Just watching his hair move as he talks, and the way his fingers look touching the table.

Kauri wonders, vaguely, if he knows how to pull hair just the right way so it hurts a little, but not too much. With hair like his, he probably does. 

“You’re okay. Better than waking up drugged-up in that guy’s basement or whatever, right? I have a bench I go to sometimes if I don’t find anybody for the night, I’ll go over that way eventually. I have a blanket I hid over there we can, um, use, if you want. Or just an alley.” He tries for a wink, and he isn’t entirely sure it works and doesn’t just look a little bit ridiculous. “I’m not, um. Picky. You said you sleep at the place you work, right? It’s like a, a dorm thing?” Kauri hesitates, knowing the question is stupid he knows he’s stupid about this, but… “Do you, uh… do you get a bed, to sleep on?”

"Yeah," Cass says, trying not to sound off-put by the question. At what point in this sad fuck’s story did he not get a bed? "Yeah, I get a bed." He frowns briefly at his food before looking up again with a smile. "Lumpy as fuck, though."

The joke feels stale before it even lands. It's not exactly consolation in comparison to a park bench.

Cass can feel the offer on his tongue, heavy and loaded, and it's so fucking stupid to say it but guests aren't technically banned or anything, just frowned upon and the guy would be sleeping on a park bench.

"Do you... I mean it's not exactly homey, but did you want to come back to mine?" He nearly lets a thousand caveats fall off his tongue like, we'd have to be quiet and you'll have to leave before 8 and by the way my minder might decide to drop in for a late night chat, you cool with that? But instead he grins the easy way. "Can't guarantee we'll do much sleeping."

Kauri can’t quite hide the way he brightens again at the suggestion, although he tries, trying to look cool and smooth and like he wasn’t at all sort of not looking forward to the way he inevitably got woken up on the bench by some jogger yelling at him to go get a job.

You can’t get a job with no ID when you’re fucking illiterate.

“If, if you just wanted me to sleep,” He says, making his tone a little flirty, with a hint of a lopsided, shy smile. “I’d be disappointed. I hardly take up any space when I sleep, I promise. I’ll be up and out of your hair, I’m not, um, I don’t try and stick around or anything. That’s… see, you are nice. You just tell yourself you’re not.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Cass snorts. He leans forward conspiratorially, walking his fingers up Kauri’s arm as he speaks “How do you know this hasn’t just been some long play just to get you into my cult or something? Maybe once you go inside, you’ll never leave.”

Kauri shivers a little, moving his arm just slightly to make it easier for Cass, biting down on his lower lip with the same hint of a shy smile. The feeling of Cass’s fingers was like little sparks on his arm, and it felt like his touch lingered even after his fingers had moved. Kauri felt warm and cold all at once, heat starting to pool in his hips as he shifted around.

I am going to ride him until I can barely walk, after.

“You’re, um-” Kauri’s voice caught in his throat, and he cleared it, embarrassed. “That’s not fair, doing that in public.”

Cass smiles, tilting his to the side, feels it rush through him like an electric thrill even time the guy shudders like that. “Told you,” he murmurs “It’s a talent.”

He slips his fingers under the cuff of Kauri’s sweatshirt again, running little circles over his wrist. The guy is so responsive to touch it’s intoxicating. And Cass hasn’t even got him undressed yet.

It’s been ages since Cass has had the chance to play this role. He usually just melts into whatever the other person wants. He’s scrawny looking and gets flirty when he's high and he moves like a slut on the dancefloor, so recently that meant he pretty consistently landed himself in the role of desperate twink, ready to turn his brain off and let his partner take the lead. But this. This is what he likes, if he’s honest with himself. He likes seeing someone dissolve under his hands.

He smirks, pulling Kauri’s hand towards him and planting a kiss on his palm, “I could have you falling apart before we even leave the table, huh?”

Kauri’s fingers twitch, a little, with the urge to touch right back. It’s a familiar feeling, the need to touch, to be touched, to be reminded that someone wants him. It’s a more reassuring one that it doesn’t feel as desperate or worried as it sometimes does. This feels more like all of Kauri wants him, not just the parts that only know to want one thing. 

It feels like wanting Dustin - almost safe. As close to safe as he gets.

“You’re about h-halfway there already,” He says, not quite a whisper, not quite speech. “What, um. I’m bad at this. What other talents do you-... no, that sounds stupid-... I’m so bad at it when I’m not, um, trying to be good at it, I don’t… please just-” He’s bright red. He can’t finish the sentence, not out loud. 

Please just take me somewhere and fuck me.

[ofmythsandmadness]

just a few more minutes.

“just - just hold on a few more minutes. okay? okay? please.” PAIRING - Diego Hargreeves/Reader. WORD COUNT - 2316. WARNING - angst. just a tonne of angst. curse words used a-plenty, too. A/N - I was planning on writing something happy because it’s the holiday season, but then i wrote this and just...kept writing...and here were are. i suppose i’m sorry.

THE STREETS WERE MOSTLY EMPTY, save for a few stragglers here and there. But those who were out, were rushing about on their way home, eager to avoid the creepy gloom of the night and get into the warm indoors. They avoided eye contact and kept themselves closed off, just looking for their final destination where they would be safe.

It seemed like there was only one person who did not share that mindset, that night. Her speed was almost the opposite of the others. It was leisurely and slow, an air of calm about her despite the very pronounced limp the woman walked with. Still, despite the limitation, she walked with ease and confidence and did not even bother to bat an eyelash in anyone’s direction. She was formidable.

Or, so it appeared. Inside, the woman’s brain felt like it was on fire. Nay, actually?

She was ninety-five percent sure it was actually on fucking fire, just like the rest of her body.

“Holy shit,” she hissed to herself. Biting back a groan at every movement, she limped forward, begging for just a little more strength to get her there. But her leg just dragged painfully on the pavement, twisted awkwardly as though it was not made for her body. The work of pulling herself with only half the strength she normally had was taxing, a trial she almost doubted she could pass.

But finally, she had managed to limp her way to the payphone booth - which at least was empty. Maybe the universe did not hate her too, too much.

The woman slammed the glass door shut behind her and let her weight crash against it, only to barely remain standing. With a shaking hand, she found a bloody quarter within her jean pocket and jammed it into the machine, punching at the numbers with the same trembling ferocity. Everything was done fast and hard, forcing herself to move despite the flood of torment in her thigh, trying to drag her down. She knew her strength was running out, and fast - but she would be damned if she went down easily.

Every ring was torture, taunting her - like it already knew she was too screwed, and found it absolutely hilarious. The phone rang and rang, only to never be picked up. The woman groaned, slamming her bloody fist against the booth over and over, the only reaction she allowed herself to have. Not that that did much with her lack of strength; all that was left was a smear of red stained against the glass.

She swore under her shallow breath and searched her pockets once more. She found her last quarter and shoved it in the slot, once more typing out the gym’s number. As the laughing phone tone began, singing her dying fate out into the tiny glass booth, she bit back her screams, ripping at her broken fingernails in an attempt to hold back her reactions to the pain. If she actually had to die in that goddamn phone booth, alone and bleeding out from such a stupid wound? Oh, Diego would -

“-’Ey, what do you want?” rasped from the other end. Not the voice she had been expecting - this person was harsh and cold, with a thick accent to boot. “We’re closed.”

“Is Diego uh, Hargreeves there?”

“We’re closed, lady.”

She sighed, gritting her teeth as a new wave of pain shot through her body. “Yeah. Got that loud and clear the first time, but trust me, I’m not here to sign up for a fucking membership. I need Diego.”

The man on the other end sounded suspicious, unsure just what his employer could be up to that time. Which, to be sure, he might have a right to be worried, considering just who Diego was. If she was not bleeding to death alone in a phone booth, she might even have sympathy.

But she was, and she did not. 

“What for?”

“I just need him.”

“-listen, lady-”

“-my water just broke,” she sobbed, half in theatrics and half because the pain really was a bitch. She grimaced at the lie choice, but oh well; not like she was really up to being more creative. Her wound seemed to be inhibiting her ability to think of intelligent excuses for-

“-excuse me?!”

Right. Right, that. “M-my water just broke,” she repeated, attempting to sound more upset about it. “And, and I’m scared, and I just - I can’t have my baby born without its daddy there, right? I mean, what kind of mother would I be if I raise our baby boy without him? Yes we’ve not gotten along but he’s his dad, he needs that fatherly support and dammit, I need him here, too! He can’t just escape this-”

-just as she was sure her long winded spiel was reaching an unfortunate end, the man on the phone cut her off. “I’m going to get him, okay? I’m going.”

“Thank you so much, I-” she stopped once she knew he had actually left, knowing there was no point in talking to silence. She adjusted her position, sliding further down the glass with a whimper. It was getting worse, and the quiet was not helping. Honestly, dying in a tiny clear box with no one around to help her or even watch her bite the dust was not how she was planning this to go. Frankly, it felt a little embarrassing.

Her leg threatened to buckle, and she had to brace herself to remain standing. A lone tear dripped down; it gleamed silver in the artificial light. It was getting worse by the second. Time, for her, was running out very quickly.

“Who the hell is this?”

She brushed away a stray tear and straightened her back, a relieved smile licking her lips.  “Diego? That you?”

“Y/N?” He asked back, incredulous. “What the hell are you doing?”

“I had to get a hold of you.”

“And telling my boss that you were going into labour, with my kid? Jesus, I work for him, you know?”

Despite the pain, Y/N grinned even wider. Maybe she was just entering that stage of doom where everything was more sentimental than it really was, but for some reason his grumpiness kind of just -

“Hello? Y/N?!”

She adjusted herself once more, only to silently wince as more pain shot through her frame. “Shit - uh, well, I needed a way to talk to you.”

“And that was the best shot?”

Ironic word choice. Unfortunately without intention.

“I needed to talk to you, dude - and it’s not like I can tell that guy I got shot, yeah? That’d be a little weird.”

For a moment in time, it was silent on the other end, leaving Y/N unsure what had happened or if he had left. Just as she was about to give up, however, he spoke.

“You got shot?”

She hissed, half in pain and half in guilty realisation - that was not the way she had meant to tell him. Shit. “Look, I-”

“-what happened? Where are you? Holy shit, are you okay?!”

“Long story. And I’m, I’m in a phone booth right now, admiring the city lights. It’s really pretty out here, you-” pause; hiss; the pain was eating her alive. “-know?”

Diego ignored her joke. “Where are you, Y/N?” There was a tightness to his voice, a concern that rarely arose between them. If it was not such a shitty situation, maybe she might let herself think more into it than she should. 

“I’m…” she hesitated, lifting her gaze to search around her. Her head spun - what did it say if she was already feeling light-headed? Probably nothing good. “I’m on the corner of Gladstone. Probably near Griddy’s, I think…”

“Shit. Shit! Okay.” He paused, seemingly thinking, before speaking again. “I’m coming. Don’t move, okay? It’ll just b-b-be a few minutes.”

She laughed dryly. “Don’t worry, I don’t think I can.”

He cursed again, under his breath. “How bad is it?”

“Um…” She was far from an expert on bullet wounds, but it certainly looked bad. And judging from all the other symptoms going on, the sense of imminent doom and what not? Well, she doubted her life had much left to it. 

But she could not bring herself to admit that to him. And so, she smiled, even while knowing he could not see her, and just shrugged. “I don’t know. I’m okay right now. I did the pressure thing you taught me? So I should be fine. It’s a leg wound, so like, I’m livin’ peachy.”

That was a brutal lie. But she could not worry him more. 

“I’m on my way. I promise. Stay there, stay safe. Remember pressure, and, uh - j-just stay there, okay?”

“Okay,” she mumbled, grimacing through the dizziness. “I’m...I’m sorry, Diego.”

“What? No. Y-y-you’re fine. I’m coming, stay there.”

“I’m sorry...I…” the words lingered on her tongue, sweet and sad, a whispered promise she just wanted to share. But she swallowed them back instead of letting them slip out. “Okay. I’ll be here.”

He hung up without a goodbye, just another order to stay put and wait just a few more minutes.

She half smiled at that. If only he knew, ‘a few more minutes’ might be enough time for the gods to write up her death sentence.

Once she knew he was gone, she let go of the phone and just let herself fall to the ground. She huffed and hissed through the pain, pressing into the wound and letting her fingers turn even redder. Her eyes fell to it, tracing the shape over and over again until it was ingrained in her mind.

She knew very little about gunshots, but at least she knew enough to know it was not looking good for her. The shot was bad and looked pretty deep, and the fact that it was still bleeding so much was not great either. She did not know how much blood a body could stand to lose but it probably was not a lot more than what was already shed. And, weren’t there important arteries in the thigh? She cursed. Oh, why oh why couldn’t she remember what Diego had told her before?

Her head fell back against the glass. A tear slipped down, followed by another, creating twin silver streams that glittered in the light. She could not even get up, probably could not even stand if she wanted to. Truly, it was a pathetic sight. Dying alone in a phone booth as the few pedestrians ignored her failing breaths? She had always pictured a better death than this. 

Sure, considering how many stupid things she did in a day death was always around the corner, but it was not like she was considering that a whole lot. She thought she might just live forever - or long enough to have a better life. A better job, more friends, a family she could call her own. But she was dying fucking alone with none of that to her name. With the only person in her life she truly cared for on his way to find her dead body. And she did not even have the chance to mumble some cute last words or anything. Her last words would be ‘I’ll be here’.

“Bullshit,” she mumbled, the sound deafening in the silence. “Bull...shit!” Her fists weakly pounded against the glass, pressing bloody shapes into the booth. Without much strength, they made little noise.

Maybe this was what she deserved. Was this the doing of the fates up above? Deciding she had done enough, that they had to hit her with enough karma to kill her good and dead? She had no clue. But it certainly felt like that.

She let her eyelids slip down, coating her in darkness once more. It was too hard to hold them up, too heavy - and she was getting too tired to fight anymore. A part of her knew that staying awake was probably the only option she had for survival, just then, but her exhaustion was quickly winning against her resolve. She was just so tired…

At least she would go out knowing she had done a good thing, she mused. All she could hope was that the girl rescued was safe, hopefully at home with a good family, a loving partner maybe? Asleep at that point, not thinking about the one who had taken the bullet meant for her heart. She got another chance at life. Maybe that was what mattered in the end.

The woman sucked in another breath, finding it harder and harder to fill her lungs. She huddled closer to the glass, pressing her shivering figure against it. Gone was the confidence, the wise-cracking and calm exterior; she had been reduced to a small, trembling figure seeking a second breath from fates who refused to give it to her. Nothing more than a number, another nobody dead when no one cared.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered, coughing through the words. Her mouth filled with a strange taste, metallic and thick. She had to spit it out, and when her eyes opened just for a moment, she could barely see the blood dribbling from her mouth to her paling fingers. The woman sobbed, shaking as the cries rocked her fragile body. Tears dripped along with blood from her lips and stained her face, mixing to be a gruesome sight. A sorrowful one.

“I’m so sorry,” she cried, choking through every syllable. “Dammit...I’m so sorry…” 

No one heard her, but maybe she did not even care. Or maybe she did not know that, and truly thought he was right there listening to her pitiful cries. Like he could hear her apologies, her admittance of love, her begging for life in that tiny glass box. Like maybe she still had some hope.

Her hand fell limp and her head did too, lolled against the cold glass. Her eyes remained open just for a moment, staring blankly forward without seeing much at all before she had to let the lids close. Her body stopped shaking, and her breathing grew quieter. The tears stopped falling, though their silvery remnants remained etched into her skin. She was silent, with her last words to no one hanging over her head - an apology, and a sad, small confession of love to the man who she would never see again.

It only took ten more minutes for Diego to show up. But it would be too late. She was a fallen figure, pressed against the glass box, unmoving. No amount of begging, of shaking, of pounding against the phone booth and screaming at the universe for doing this to him, would make a difference. He did all he could, pressing against her heart to force it to beat, pressing breaths against her bloody lips and begging them to take the air into her body - but in the end, his hands were covered in her blood and despair hung deep on his face.

Diego ran his hand down his face, ignoring the red staining his weathered fingers, and sobbed. His attempts were useless. Nothing could be done.

She was already dead.

[lifblogs]

Livin In You: Chapter 10

Fandom: Supernatural Rating: Explicit Pairing: Destiel Summary: Castiel is a mental health worker who is just fine with the way his life is. The only thing that really bugs him is how much his co-worker, and friend, Meg, mentions Dean Winchester, the most famous rock star in the modern age. Meg drags him to a concert, and he ends up getting tied into the wild and angsty life of Dean Winchester. Suddenly his old life seems boring, but so much calmer. Suddenly, it matters to him that he’s still a virgin. Suddenly, this rock star that he despised the mention of now matters to him. Dean Winchester is a rock star who’s on top of the world when it comes to music. Yet there’s more that he wants. He misses Lisa and Ben, he craves connection, craves being himself. Any hope for that amidst his alcoholic life all changes when Zachariah, the head exec of Heaven’s Records, pairs with a new exec, Michael Edlund -- the Archangel of Music. Under Michael’s dominance, he’s no longer in control of his own life. There are rules. No more sex with fans. No more alcohol. And in Dean’s view, no more god damn free will. Yet he stumbles into Castiel. Chapter Word Count: 2725

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CHAPTER 1 | CHAPTER 2 | CHAPTER 3 | CHAPTER 4 | CHAPTER 5 | CHAPTER 6 | CHAPTER 7 | CHAPTER 8 | CHAPTER 9

Dean had to get up to throw up once or twice in the night, and between all that, he forgot Castiel existed. Sure, he passed his sleeping form with a head of hair that was black in the darkness on his way to the bathroom. But the other man wasn’t nearly as important as his shaking body, and reeling stomach.

Eventually, some time before five A.M., he managed to fall into sleep that wasn’t restless or broken by the after effects of his drunkenness. By the time he fully woke up, the room was dark, the curtains pulled closed so daylight wouldn’t filter through. Dean knew this kind of dark. It was the dark of waking up late. He supposed he didn’t really care. His head hurt, an incessant ache that wouldn’t leave, and his stomach just felt wrong.

He groaned as he rolled over and cracked an eye open.

A bottle of gatorade was on his nightstand, along with two pills of aspirin lying on a tissue.

Garth. His incredibly friendly and chipper assistant must’ve done this.

Dean sat up, took the medicine and started drinking the gatorade. It wasn’t till he felt well enough to walk out into the main living quarters of the hotel suite that he remembered another person was there.

Really, it was the back of Castiel’s head that gave it away.

Was the dude seriously still sleeping?

Dean shrugged after some consideration. Maybe he’s a third shifter. But what to do with him?

That thought hit him hard, and Dean sat down in a chair across from the part of the couch Castiel was sleeping on, open bottle of half-finished gatorade in his hand.

“Shit.”

He hadn’t meant to say it out loud, or so vehemently. He must have because Castiel started from sleep, and then turned his head this way and that, eyes wild. He backed away from Dean. But then there was recognition, and he relaxed, but didn’t seem at all pleased.

Well, Dean could take people not liking him… he hoped.

Why didn’t Cas like him? He knew he’d asked him, but it just didn’t make any fucking sense.

He was Dean Winchester!

“Mornin’, sunshine,” Dean quipped. “Want me to call Garth and get us some coffee?”

Castiel started righting himself properly, pulling the blanket up into his lap. He ran a hand through his hair, but it was still a mess, and to Dean it looked a lot like sex-hair. God, it looked good on him.

He nodded.

“Yes, I think that will suffice.”

“You got a fancy way of talking.”

Castiel just gave him a look that said… Actually, Dean didn’t really know what it said. In the daylight, Castiel seemed difficult to read. It made Dean uncomfortable. Who was this man?

And what am I going to do with him?

This wasn’t like the other times Dean had brought people back to his room, not just because he hadn’t slept with him — which was super weird in this instance — but because he wasn’t allowed to be here. His presence would surely get sniffed out. Crowley could’ve talked to Clif already. Though Dean figured Clif wasn’t working with his manager behind his back. He was Dean’s bodyguard. So maybe even if Clif had gotten a call, he wouldn’t run to tell mommy about Dean and his new friend.

But how to keep his new friend hidden?

It also meant there was the issue of the car as well. Dean would have some money missing, and there were witnesses.

Hell, witnesses?

What was he even thinking like?

It wasn’t like it was a crime scene. Okay, aside from crashing his car into Castiel’s, it wasn’t a crime scene.

But Zachariah could smell the original sin on an otherwise innocent baby fifteen miles off. Dean was screwed, especially with Michael as the head honcho now.

God damn it!

Dean’s face must have gone through a lot of transformations because Castiel asked, “What’s wrong?”

“Oh? Uh, nothing.” He walked back over to his bedroom to go grab his phone, and before he closed the doors behind him said, “Just uh… just gonna call Garth.”

With the doors closed, he took a deep breath, and then ran a hand through his hair.

This was crazy. Not his usual brand of crazy. Hell, maybe it wasn’t even that bad.

But then Dean remembered a beer bottle getting taken out of his hand, remembered Zach’s stern — maybe even angry — face. He remembered what he’d told him. He owned Dean now.

Dean went to the far wall and groaned, hanging his head against it. Really, he wanted to use it to bang his head, but most doctors wouldn’t advise that as a way to relieve his headache.

Dean straightened, closing his eyes.

Was it worth a shot?

No, definitely not.

So Dean got out his phone, and called Garth. He could do the shouting thing he’d done the night before, but in hindsight that had seemed rude. His drunk self obviously hadn’t cared.

“Morning, Dean Bean! Well, hmm… oh no, it’s not noon yet, but cutting it pretty close there. What’s up?”

“Wondering if you could get me and my friend some coffee. And uh, you were in here earlier, right?”

“Was I?”

“Gatorade, aspirin,” Dean added.

“Oh no, silly, that was your friend there. He was up earlier and asked me to pick those things up for you. He grabbed them at the door, brought them to your room himself.”

That had Dean pause in what he was about to say.

Cas had done that? He’d thought about him?

That started to make Dean feel guilty for practically kidnapping the guy. Or had it been the other way around? He’d been the drunk one after all. Huh, how did that work? There was another emotion there too, but he couldn’t figure out what it was. It was pretty foreign to him, or had been in the couple of years since he’d left Ben. Was it… affection?

No, that would be bullshit. He’d just met the guy last night, and part of him still wanted to sleep with him. This was just a messed up situation.

“Dean-o? De-ean!”

“Hmm, what? Yeah.”

“You all good?”

“Yeah, um… Coffee. You know the regular I like, and for him, just make sure to bring packets of sugar and cream and stuff, I don’t really know what he likes.”

“Okie dokie. See you in ten.”

“Five?”

“Dean, I don’t control the pace at which the world runs.”

“Okay, ten,” he relented. “And, oh, is Sam up?”

“I’m not his assistant too, Dean. 

“Okay, but he’s famous by association. I know you and Clif keep tabs on him when he’s not staying underground.”

“Yes, he’s up.”

“Cool, thanks.”

Despite feeling like shit, Dean took the opportunity of some private time to get dressed. Nothing fancy. For him nothing fancy stil came out to a thousand dollars or more per outfit, but it was just jeans, a black undershirt, a white and blue flannel, and a leather jacket. The boots were nice too. Custom-made combat boots with gold inlays.

“Great, now I feel underdressed,” Castiel said as Dean walked back into the room.

“Uh… I have some jeans,” he told him, plopping down on the couch beside his… whatever he was.

Cas made a face. “Not sure they’d fit.”

Dean smiled, glancing at Cas’ hips and legs. He whacked him playfully on the thigh. “Come on, you should be able to squeeze those into a pair. Not like you’re fat. You’re just…” Dean couldn’t think of the word, and trailed off. Thick, muscular, large, beautiful. Yeah, all of that. Fuck. “Yeah, body’s shaped differently. But come on, I can get my bowlegs into these, you should be fine.”

Castiel rolled his eyes and sighed, brushing Dean’s hand off of his leg.

“Fine.”

“Bottom drawer,” Dean said helpfully as Castiel went into his room.

Part of Dean wanted to follow him, wanted to watch him take off those sweatpants, or maybe even take them off for him. The jeans he was wearing were ripped at the knees, but he figured the skin of his knees would be fine with a bit of friction on the floor. Rugburn didn’t hurt too badly, not as bad as his hand still did. At least he’d somehow managed to get that taped and bandaged up. There was an ace wrap around it as well. So he was still able to function, use it for some things, just not all the sexy things going through his head at the moment.

Dean was drawn from his sensual reverie as there was a knock on the door. He went and answered it, apprehensive, gut twisting.

This was it.

Crowley knew. Zach knew. He was going to lose his dream, everything.

Dean sighed in relief, leaning against the open door when he saw it was just Sam. He was dressed in dress pants, a white button-up shirt, and a tie. His sleeves were rolled up to the elbow. In one hand was a yellow legal pad, a pen pressed between that and the crook of his thumb.

“What, you lawyering today or something?” Dean asked.

“Yes. The contract’s going to be sent over, and we have business to discuss apparently.”

Dean just stared at him, contemplating slamming the door in his face. Reality was not fun right now. He glanced back at his gatorade he’d left on the coffee table. Was there anyone around who could pull a Jesus and turn it into alcohol? Huh, maybe Sam. He had the look, what with the scruff and the hair and all.

Eventually Sam said, “Morning. Or…” He held up his wrist, looking at his watch. “Actually, no. Good afternoon.”

Dean rolled his eyes, and then let Sam in.

“Thanks for coming,” he eventually said, relenting, knowing it wasn’t his brother’s fault that any of this was happening.

But shit, he’d forgotten about the contract.

“You want anything to drink?” Dean asked, playing the gracious host.

“Nah, I’m good.”

Dean settled back down on the couch with his gatorade, and Sam eyed the blanket, taking a seat away from it.

Dean ignored the look, though he surely wanted answers. “So who’s dropping off the contract?”

“Don’t know.”

“When’ll they be here?”

“One.”

Dean sighed at that. Okay, he had some time to get Cas out of his hair.

A drawer slammed shut, and there was some cursing. Sam straightened, looking at the doors to Dean’s bedroom.

“Who else is here?” he asked.

Dean shrugged. “A friend.”

Sam looked at Dean, then back at the doors, then Dean again.

“Is it that guy from last night? Dean, tell me you didn’t.”

“I didn’t.”

Sam’s eyebrows, which had been furrowed with concern, now rose in a disbelieving look.

“He’s getting dressed. You can ask him yourself when he comes out. But” — Dean broke up his speech with a long swallow of gatorade — “I need to get rid of him somehow. Or, I don’t know, hide him. I kinda like having him around.”

“Dean, you’re not supposed to—”

“Like I said, I didn’t.”

“And okay, then what about the issue from last night? What exactly am I risking my license for today?”

“Car accident.”

“Are you serious?!”

That was when Castiel slid open the doors and walked back into the room. Dean noticed that the knuckles of his right hand were red, like they’d gotten slammed in a drawer. That must’ve been what had happened.

“Uh…”

That was Castiel, and Sam was already being business-like, getting up and going over to shake his hand.

“Sam Winchester,” he said. “And you are? I didn’t get your name from Dean yet.”

“Castiel,” he said, and then added, “uh… Novak.”

“So what’s the situation?” Sam asked.

The poor guy looked like a deer caught in headlights, so Dean went over and grabbed him, having him sit beside him. He couldn’t tell if Castiel liked that or not; he seemed neutral about it more than anything. Dean was far from neutral. He’d gotten a good look at Castiel in his jeans, and god, had it been a mistake to tell him he’d fit? He didn’t exactly, but wow, he looked damn good. The material hugged his body, and somewhere in Dean started pulsing as he eyed the unmistakable bulge of his denim-wrapped groin. Dean figured if Cas turned around he’d see the clothing hug his ass too, just like it did in the front and to his thighs.

Dean eyed him even as they sat together. He hadn’t noticed he’d drifted off and started biting on his bottom lip, till he heard Castiel talking about what had happened.

Thank god he was taking the lead. Dean still had a headache.

He zoned out till Garth arrived with the coffee, and as he started back over, Sam reprimanded, “You were supposed to come right back to the hotel.”

“What are you, my babysitter?” he snapped. 

He passed Castiel his coffee and packets of cream and sugar and sat back down. Dean had a sip of his own coffee, and saw Cas start preparing his the way he liked it.

Sam just breathed deeply and gave Dean a sympathetic look. “I’m not trying to hurt you, Dean, or-or… control you like what everyone else wants to do. I just want you to be careful. I know how much your music means to you.”

Dean argued, “Think having my own life is pretty important too.”

“That’s not what—”

“Wait, what are you talking about?” Castiel asked. “What’s happening?”

Sam and Dean immediately shut up, and Dean turned to Cas with big eyes. Shit, he hadn’t meant for any of this to come up around him. They were just supposed to talk about Castiel’s car and the insurance company.

“Not important,” he eventually said.

Castiel didn’t just shrug it off as he expected. Instead, the strange man gave him a look that seemed to say a million things at once: I understand. I’m here if you need to talk. You’re not alone.

Dean’s breath caught in his throat as he looked at that handsome face and into those startlingly blue eyes.

How the hell could he do that?

Sam cleared his throat, and both turned back to him.

“We can discuss it later,” Sam said. “And uh… Castiel, I’m not sure how good of a friend of my brother’s you are. I—”

Cas: “Oh, we just met last night. When he crashed his car into mine.”

Sam gave a tight smile, “Lovely.”

Dean wanted to roll his eyes at the tension he saw in Sam, but he didn’t. His brother was doing a big thing for him. Dean could at least repay him by not being an asshole for a couple of minutes.

The discussion was exhausting, but they eventually got it all sorted out, Sam taking notes on his yellow legal pad, and after a few Sam-dominated phone calls with various people and insurance agents, it was all settled.

And according to his watch it was one P.M.

Fuck.

There was a knock on the door.

Dean’s eyes went wide, and he grabbed Cas in a panic, while another hand reached out for his brother, as if he wanted to grab him to hide behind.

“Shit, shit. Cas, you gotta go.”

“Go where? I can’t leave, unless you have any ideas as to how I could survive the drop from the window.”

Dean got him up, pushing him over to the bedroom. “Bedroom,” he urged. “Stay quiet.”

Sam was going to get the door.

Dean tried sliding the bedroom doors closed, but Castiel held on just before they were about to obscure his face.

“What’s happening?”

“Nothing. Let you out soon, and uh… maybe get in the closet?”

“The closet? Dean!”

Footsteps sounded. Dean closed the doors, and then turned. He fixed his outfit, making it look like he’d just come out of his room from getting dressed and was straightening his clothes.

The man who had arrived was wearing white dress shoes. It was the first thing Dean noticed, and as his gaze traveled upwards, he stopped dead.

“Mr. Edlund.”

The dark-haired man with glimmering blue eyes who held a thick packet of papers smiled. “Please, call me Michael.”

[mychemicalficrecs]

Do you have any recommendations for Mikey centered fics?

Hi Nonny!

These are all fics I remember for focusing on Mikey in one way or another.

Mikey-centered Fic

Cupid's Chokehold (I Don't Know What Love Is) by frenchpirate (Whiskey_n_speed), Mikey/Pete, Patrick/Pete, 6k, Teen And Up Audiences. Mikey Way has the worst part time job ever.

means i love you by romanticalgirl, Mikey/Pete, 469 words, Teen And Up Audiences. Mikey doesn’t get much mail here.

Everyday Mysteries In The Summertime by waxjism, Mikey/Pete, 23k, Not Rated. Summertime and the livin' is easy...

For Dear_Monday by dapatty, s0ckpupp3t, Frank/Ray/Gerard/Mikey, 670 words, Explicit. Birth Day present for the most excellent dear_monday, because who doesn't want Mikey!focused GSF ficlets for their special day?

Suits and Bathroom Stalls by gala_apples, 2k, Explicit. There are clear benefits to going to a private school, and the administrators thinking being rid of Gerard isn't worth the lost income of kicking him out is only the least of it.

Backseat by desfinado, Frank/Gerard/Mikey, 2k, Teen And Up Audiences. Mikey spends most of twelfth grade watching Jersey from backseat windows.

the ghost of you by Trojie, Frank/Gerard/Mikey, 52k, Explicit. The Ghost of You video throws Mikey, but he was already off his game.

My Way Home is Through You by 7iris, Frank/Jamia/Mikey, 3k, Explicit. For the first week after Mikey leaves the Paramour, he doesn't answer his phone.

Caught In A Trap by gala_apples, Frank/Mikey, 1k, Explicit. Part of Mikey's duty as a werewolf on a new colony is to recruit.

A Light to Burn All the Empires by Arsenic, Frank/Mikey, Frank/Mikey/Pete, 32k, Explicit. Mikey and Frank are outed. There are, as one might imagine, repercussions.

the power to give it all back by akamine_chan, Gerard/Mikey, 6k, Explicit. Mikey finds that sometimes life takes you in unexpected directions when you search for yourself. A story about two brothers, two bands and the lack of a sombrero.

colder as the years go, warm yourself again by annemari, Gerard/Mikey, Travis McCoy/Mikey, 29k, Explicit. Mikey's fucking lucky to know so many great dudes he can hook up with. Especially Travie, who's fucking great and willing to tie Mikey up and hurt him if Mikey asks. It doesn't matter that he's avoiding Gerard and Gerard has no clue what he's getting up to. Mikey's not actively hiding it. It's just, it's kind of hard to talk to your brother about your sex life. Especially when you're in love with him.

Can't Touch My Brother by alpheratz, Gerard/Mikey, Mikey/Pete, 11k, Explicit. "Mikey turned twelve five days ago and he hasn’t been able to feel anything in exactly a year. " Haven-inspired AU of sorts where Mikey feels nothing but Gerard's touch.

boy division by Trojie, Mikey/Mikey, 2k, Explicit. Mikey meets a dude in a bar who has a lot more confidence in Mikey's future as a rockstar than Mikey himself does.

The Independent Department of Chaos and Preposterous Issues by frenchpirate (Whiskey_n_speed), Mikey/Pete, 38k, Explicit. The job was described as a ‘once-in-a-lifetime opportunity’, so of course Mikey accepted when he was offered the position as Administrative Support Supervisor, leader of a whole new department in the infamous fashion house Clandestine Inc. What he expects, is a schedule full of supermodels in expensive lingerie and a highly agreeably monthly salary. What he gets instead, is running errands for a douchey fashionista-icon with a serious supremacist god-complex, stacks of paperwork that could embarrass the architects behind Empire State, and a couple of employees whose enthusiasm in arguing is the only thing remotely reasonable about them. And Mikey Way gets his hands full at Clandestine, with a hand-waving, superficial idiot of a boss that keeps dropping work on his desk, a whimsy secretary with too much of a sex-life, a chain-smoking and chain-complaining assistant, an imaginary love-life, a proud mother, a soon to come winter collection fashion show as well as a soon to be additional title as uncle.

Knitters Aren't Quitters by Cinco, Mikey/Pete, 3k, General Audiences. For the No_Tags Challenge, 2012, Prompt 42: Mikey/Pete - Pete takes up knitting and starts sending Mikey home made knitted gifts, starting with hats. AU or not, either is fine.

Standing on the Edge Believing by turps, Frank/Mikey, Ray/Mikey, Gerard/Mikey, 19k, Explicit. If you could be anyone else in MCR for a day, who would you pick and why? They all answered the question, and they all learned an important lesson. Be careful what you wish for, because sometimes it comes true.

[emuchipmunk]

Jason Todd Playlist

This Was A Home Once // Bad Suns - Though we can't control the rest one thing will always be true / This was a home once / Where we found our way, oh the golden days / This was a home once / Where my life begun, where life moves on

Younger // Ruel - Deep in my heart, I know that it's over / Deleted your number, so I can't call you / Call you my brother, the way that we used to / When we were younger, younger / I saw you just the other night / I didn't even recognize you / Find it kind of strange, I guess that people change / But I didn't expect you to

He Ain’t Heavy, He’s My Brother // The Hollies - It's a long, long road / From which there is no return / While we're on the way to there / Why not share? / And the load / Doesn't weigh me down at all / He ain't heavy, he's my brother

Bored To Death // Blink-182 - The voices in my head are always screaming / That none of this means anything to me / And it's a long way back from seventeen / The whispers turn into a scream / And I... I'm not coming home / Save your breath, I'm nearly / Bored to death and fading fast / Life is too short to last long

Wow, I’m Not Crazy // AJR - Oh, different, so different / They tell us to be different / But no one told me I could go too far / Frankly, I’m scared of clowns / And get-togethers get me down / But when you talk, it’s like, "Wow, I’m not crazy" / Frankly, I feel insane / But you say you feel the same / And suddenly, it’s like, "Hey, I’m not crazy"

We back, my dudes. This one was surprisingly super easy to find highlight songs for, a little wild. Anyways, here’s the Spotify and YouTube links and the rest are under the cut. Enjoy!

Songs with lyrical relevance 

Sight of the Sun - Fun.

Far Too Young To Die - Panic! at the Disco

Still Breathing - Green Day

Want You Back - 5 Seconds of Summer

Please Don’t Leave Me - Pink

I Bet My Life - Imagine Dragons

It’s On Us - AJR (this would have been a highlight song if I didn’t already have a song from them)

Figure Me Out - The Summer Set 

Live Like Legends - Ruelle

Brother - Kodaline

Luck - American Authors

Alone Sometimes - The Mowgli’s

Please, Please, Please, Let Me Get What I Want - The Smiths

Forget The Lies - Quietdrive

Silence - Marshmello, Khalid

Karma - AJR

Icarus - Bastille

Hard Love - NeedToBreath

I Am Not A Robot - Marina

Catastrophize - Noah Kahan

Hype songs before a mission

Legend - The Score

Unstoppable - The Score

Wilson (Expensive Mistakes) - Fall Out Boy

Let The Games Begin - AJR

Anything - Hedley

Who I Am - The Score

LA Devotee - Panic! at the Disco

100 Bad Days - AJR

Bad Blood - Taylor Swift

Stayin Alive - Bee Gees

Sad ones 

Down - Jason Walker

Blackbird - The Beatles

I’ll Be Good - Jaymes Young

Youth - Daughter

Where Do I Begin - Sick Puppies

Stay - Hurts

Iridescent - Linkin Park 

Choke - OneRepublic

Somewhere Only We Know - Keane

World Gone Mad - Bastille 

Role Models - AJR

Heavy - Birdtalker

The Great Divide - Breaking Benjamin

Come Back When You Can - Barcelona

Those Nights - Bastille

Is This The World We Created - Queen

Boogie Down songs 

Kill Your Heroes - Awolnation

West End Kids - New Politics

I’m Born to Run - American Authors

Sunshine Riptide - Fall Out Boy

Sinner - Andy Grammar 

Glorious - Macklemore, Skylar Grey

Angel With a Shotgun - The Cab

Superheroes - The Script

Morning in America - Jon Bellion

Livin Right - The Score

Miracle - The Score

Til I Forget About You - Big Time Rush

Street Fight - Smallpools

Sober Up - AJR, Rivers Cuomo

Battle Cry - Havana Brown, Bebe Rexha, Savi

Animals - Maroon 5

King of the World - Young Rising Sons

Tongue Tied - Grouplove

You’re My World - Atlas

We Are The Kids - Walk The Moon

What I Want - The Band Camino

Bad Decisions - Bastille

Kids in the Street - The All-American Rejects

Tonight, Tonight - The Smashing Pumpkins

Crash My car - Coin

You’re Such A - Hailee Steinfeld

Hiccups - Waters

Color - Finish Ticket

number One - Tove Styrke

It’s Tricky - Run-DMC

Beekeeper - Keaton Henson

Anyways, hope y’all enjoy! As always, feel free to recommend any songs that you think would fit in any of these playlists I have or suggest a new playlist. Heck, you could ask about my other playlists and I’d probably bore you to death talking about them but I guess if that’s what you like to do. 

Other playlists

[lovemesomerafael]

You survived Monday.  Here’s Your Smut-Filled Reward

Because I’ve been concentrating on a long, chaptery thing, I felt like taking a break and writing some just plain filth.  I’m thirsty like that.

Why Mike Dodds?  I dunno.  This didn’t seem to fit with anyone else.

*****************

It had been a spur of the moment thing, you going running with Mike Dodds.  He mentioned he was going for a run after work, and you said you had the same idea. Why decline his suggestion that you go together?  You seemed to get along, and you thought running with your Sergeant would probably give you the push you’d been thinking you needed lately.  

You had a great run.  Dodds did push you on speed, but you’d been the one to push him on distance. Since he lived several blocks past you on the route you’d chosen, and he was complaining about having to do those additional blocks, you invited him in for a bottle of water.  Besides, you were having a fun conversation about the difficulties of having a sex life when you worked as many hours as you did.

“It’s so wrong when the pervs are having all the sex, and the good guys are livin’ like monks.”

“Right?  But you’re a good looking guy, just go out and get some.”

“Easy for you to say.  When am I off work?  And if I am off work, I’m dead on my feet.  Women aren’t like guys, you can’t just go, ‘hey, thanks for the hookup, I’ll try to call you next time I’m free for an hour or two.’”

“Sure you can.”

He looked at you.  “You need to introduce me to some of your friends, then.”

You laugh.  

“I’m not being fair.  You’re right.  I don’t want to sleep with some dude I don’t know, I need to know the guy, know he’s a good guy.  Booty calls are fine, but it needs to be someone I’m friends with.  So I guess it’s no easier for me than you.”

You stole glances at eachother.  Suddenly, you gave a throaty laugh.  

“You know, there is a rather obvious solution here, if you’re up for it.”

Mike smiled sexily.  “There is, but it’s impossible.  I’m your superior officer.”

“Who would know?  There’s nothing in it for me to say anything.  Anyway, I’m the one coming on to you.”  

“Are you?”

You smiled at him.  “Yeah.  I am. Tell you what.  I’m going to go take a shower.  And you’re invited.  If you want to join me, great.  If you want to take the path of wisdom and discretion, I’ll admire you for it.”  

You pulled off your tank top, revealing nicely shaped breasts in a sports bra and a taut abdomen.  “See ya.”

You went into the bathroom.  He sat there, half hard already, considering what it would be like to spend the afternoon fucking you, who he’d only ever thought of as an attractive coworker.  He rolled his eyes and grinned as he pulled his T-shirt over his head and strode after you.

Walking into the bathroom, he saw that you’d pulled off your running tights and sports bra, and were adjusting the water temperature in the shower.  You turned around and smiled happily at him.  His chest and abs were gorgeous.  He grinned and gazed appreciatively at your breasts, reaching out to stroke them as he stepped to you.  You put her hands on his hips and ran them up his sides, then across his chest and slowly down his body until you cupped him in your hands and began to stroke him. He moaned.  

You felt a throbbing heat between your legs as you leaned up to kiss him.  He took one hand from your breast, continuing to fondle and squeeze the other, and slipped it underneath your panties to grab your cheek, pulling your pelvis to his.  You didn’t have the patience to grind like that for long.  You reached up and pulled his shorts from his hips, over his erect cock, and slid them down his legs.  

He lifted you and turned to set you on the counter. Kissing you with an open mouth and seeking tongue, he roughly pulled your panties off and scooted your hips to the edge of the counter.  It was the perfect height.  With no further preamble, he shoved roughly into you as you wrapped your legs around his hips.  Both of you cried out when he entered you, and began to grunt with each thrust. 

“Fuck, Y/L/N, you’re so fucking sexy…  Oh, shit…  You’re so fucking hot…”

You had been wet since you’d begun to hint to eachother about having sex, and with his overwhelming response, you were getting very close to climax already.  It had been so long, and his cock was magnificent, and the way he was talking was so hot, you knew you were going to come any second.  

“Dodds… I’m gonna come…”

“Fuck, oh fuck yeah…”  

You felt the deep, hot tingles begin.  You knew the signs; you were about to have an explosive orgasm.  You dug your fingers into Mike’s shoulders, tilted your hips to push your clit down onto the root of his thrusting cock, and let go.  You could hear yourself shouting wordlessly with each thrust, and came with thundering shudders against him.  Somewhere in the middle, he began to roar his own climax and your cries mingled; raw, primal, and peppered with expletives.  

It was many minutes before you stopped chasing the aftershocks. When you did, and relaxed your grip on one another, you began to laugh softly.  You looked up into his face, knowing you must be as sweaty and flushed as he was.

“Fuck, Dodds,” you chuckled breathlessly.

“Yeah,” he agreed, grinning crookedly at you.  

“That was… really nice.  Can you stay for a while?  Let’s see what other trouble we can get into.”

“Oh, hell, yeah.”  He agreed, laughing with you.  

He helped you down off the counter and you stepped into the shower, standing with your arms around one another as you recovered. Soon, he found the soap and began to rub it over your body.  

“Holy shit, Y/L/N, your body is fucking amazing.”

“Yours, too.  Is it weird to compliment a man on having a great penis?”

“I dunno.  But I appreciate it anyway.”  

He was already hardening again as you fondled him. You went to your knees and began to lick and suck him to hardness.  You fondled him, gently took his soft sac in your mouth and tongued the tender globes inside, and stroked him until he was panting and crying out.  As you took his full length in your mouth and pleasured him in a rhythm he set with a hand on your head, he came hard, groaning and swearing, and you swallowed him down.

Next, he braced your back against the wall and began to finger you while he sucked at your breasts, nipping at your nipples between swirls of his tongue.  He brought you close to climax, adding a finger at a time until he was fucking you with three fingers and using his thumb to rub your clit.  When you began to moan rhythmically as you ground your hips to fuck his fingers, he pumped while you screamed your ecstasy.  

When it was over, you finished your shower and moved to the bed, where you found much more trouble to get into.

[fisherfurbearer]

It's almost 6 am. I've been awake for HOURS buzzing about apple trees and orchards and animals and genetic conservation and my chest hurts SO BAD from anxiety because my hands won't type fast enough.

I want to write paragraphs and paragraphs for you folks so you can be up to speed with what's happened while I've been Gone, it's been so much, I want to explain my series of Realizations and my plans for the future but I'm so worried I'll be ridiculed or it'll all go wrong and my hands won't type my thoughts fast enough anyway so it'll never be finished.

Bottom line? I realized my biggest passions in the past 7 years (reptiles, inverts, rodents, poultry, conservation, gardening, and art) all have a common theme (animal welfare, environmental welfare, caring for people, Growing and Raising and Making cool stuff that makes people/animals/myself happy) and one thing clicked after another and basically I'm tired and Fuck college it's just not for me, I don't need $35k in loans every year (after $20k in scholarships) to learn illustration and be guaranteed a job in something I don't even see myself doing.

Nah bruh I want to raise little geckos and make vivariums/inverts/reptiles my hobby and make needle felting and sheeps and tree crops my main gig, it all fits together,, I'm so tired and I feel like I'm going to pass out from the anxiety I've been awake for so long and rewrote this so many times,

But basically I was so horrifically depressed and couldn't leave bed or go to work for days, for many reasons but mainly because it hit me that I spent the past 6 years going to school/trying to be in school for Nothing and wasted so much of my life and was Sick of it all and feeling like I had nowhere to go, until it hit me. My life is Fucked and the world is Fucked and everyone is miserable and not ok and I'm not fine and I can't do anything about it.

Or can I?

In college, I had a class called Visual Thinking where I only did needle felting for my projects and told people, I do art because my goal with my work is to make someone else Feel. I want them to Feel how my inspirations and view of things makes me feel. I want them to laugh, smile, cry, feel enraged, invigorated, spark CARING of themselves, one another, and the world, just make people Feel and give a damn about other living things. That's why I care so deeply about animals and the enviroment and domestic/wild animal welfare and the state of everything. Why I dreamt for so many years of raising rare lizards and growing vegetables permaculture-style.

But then it hit me again, I like, no I love my geckos and I love my inverts but let's be honest, it won't pay the bills and I don't think I'd be happy making it my career, either. I still want to raise/breed Eurydactylodes and maybe japanese Goniurosaurus and have a nice amount of reptiles and spiders in the future, but maybe it won't be my Everything. And that's a GOOD THING. I've learned with experience now that it's better for them and myself to keep it compact and a hobby, not a profession. Then I realized. I want to do needle felting, I want to make animals and plants out of wool and make pets and wildlife and talk about welfare and conservation with my art, and both Make Cool Things and Send a Message with what I do. But I thought of sustainability and where my supplies come from and thought wait. I like small livestock too. I just never really wanted a farm 'cause it wasn't my deal, but I literally learned how to work with miniature donkeys as my graduation project in high school, my SO's mom literally owns and breeds them and has a little farmette, I'm not completely out of my league as I already have years of research into gardening and poultry care, dude what if I raised my own sheep for wool and made art with that and oh my god what a journey that thought started.

It would take HOURS AND HOURS to write let alone read the disorganized disaster of a story of how I got to where I am now, with my Goals/Dreams, but basically...yeah I know it's becoming mainstream I guess but I seriously want a farm and we're gonna make it happen, one day. We have a rough plan for building up savings (our tentative goal is to be ready for a property in 2025, which is 5 years after Jessie graduates and gives us time to build up finances and figure out where he's working) and starting small (I already have button quail, so coturnix quail is a great first step for 'livestock' and in the next year or two angora rabbits are looking to be a great option for our first fiber animal...) and I've really refined my "Niche."

It's uhh hard to explain, in the sense of I'm very tired and it's 6:07 am and I'm losing track and my chest hurts and it's a long winding story, but the end result is for Many Reasons is I've fallen in love with heritage/landrace breeds and specifically northern european short-tailed sheep (finnsheep, gotland, icelandic, shetland, soay, etc..) and diversified farming, and especially concepts like agroforestry and using native forages/pastures and rotational grazing, to not just benefit the livestock but also the environment! I have SO MUCH RESEARCH DONE and I've learned SO MUCH and the best part is my past knowledge/notes has already given me a FANTASTIC head start so these concepts aren't hard for me to grasp and I'm just so excited. I want to focus on perennial crops (fruit/nut trees and berries, mostly...heavy inspiration came from our local orchard, which also kickstarted this idea) and grazing livestock in orchards (IT'S ALL CO-DEPENDENT IT'S BEAUTIFUL AND I LOVE IT ALL SO MUCH I COULD CRY,, WHY IS PIG WELFARE SO BAD WHEN THEY COULD BE OUT UNDER THE FRUIT/NUT TREES LIVIN' LIFE,, OTHER COUNTRIES DO IT AND ITS SUCH A GREAT IDEA [p.s. check out 'HogTree' for more awesome ideas on that! Not entirely unique but that lady has some awesome ideas]) and focusing on conserving heritage/landrace/localized livestock and crop varieties....for both conservation and practical reasons! It's...Ihave it all worked out mostly I swear I'm just very tired and anxious right now haha!! Oh jeez!!

But basically it's still in tne works and I have a good 5+ years to iron it out but instead of going to college I'm going to take workshops on orchard and livestock management and take felting/spinning classes (like yarn, I mean, I want to learn more fiber arts) and start small with quail and angora and we'll also go on trips to the local state parks and around campus here and learn more about our native environment and I'll maybe raise bees someday soon and I'll never ever stop loving inverts and reptiles ever but maybe instead of keeping 200+ Ts lots of reptiles one day I'll keep my home guys compact and give them lots of love and care and switch some of my attention to the NATIVE guys too...my biggest goal is for a more sustainable approach to agriculture (I KNOW IT CAN WORK, DAMMIT, OTHER PEOPLE HAVE PROVEN IT AND HOW ELSE DID FOLKS FEED THEMSELVES FOR SO LONG hshdbfjfush but that's an argument for another day) that balances human needs with animal welfare and environmental impact and hopefully turn the same land we use for agriculture (ex. grazing pastures, fruit/nut orchards) into land for native flora as small species as well, like birds and insects and such, and even bigger things if we did managed grazing in woodlands because...AHH THAT'S A WHOLE BIG DISCUSSION AND I'M TO EXCITED ABOUT IT ALL TO EXPLAIN AHH JEEZ

ANYWAY I'M GOING TO MAKE A DANG DIFFERENCE IN MY OWN DING DANG WAY AND I DON'T NEED NO COLLEGE EDUCATION TO DO IT, NOT THIS TIME AROUND

I'm going to combat my inner demons and also the Outside problems with the power of Sustainable Agriculture and Fiber Arts and prove that people and animals (domestic AND wild) and the environment can have a SYMBIOTIC relationship that CAN be profitable AND sustainable for ALL parties involved and it'll take a whole lot of doing but goDDAMMIT I'VE GOT MY SPARK BACK AND I'M GIVING IT MY ALL!!!!!

[i-eat-bread-and-cry-on-the-floor]

out of context quotes from my school as marvel characters

Teacher: In 1950, there were a ton of planes crashing and no one knew why. Does anyone know?

Peter Q: The Bermuda Triangle.

---

Clint: Wait, (Bucky's) here? Where's Bucky?

Bucky: *from the back of the room* Here.

Clint: Oh, hi I didn't even see you!

Bucky: It's okay, I'm just really invisible.

Everyone: 0o0

---

Teacher: Is that what you should be doing? What should you be doing instead?

Loki: Dying.

Everyone: WOAHHHHHHH!

---

Peter P: Hey. Hey, hey, hey, *taps on shoulder* I'd die for you.

Loki: I'd kill for you.

Peter P: 0o0

---

Tony: Felt cute, might break down in physics later, idk.

---

Rocket: I feel a really strong connection with communism.

---

Natasha: *walks into bathroom* Are y'all still doing TikToks in here? I HAVE TO PEE! *walks out*

---

Thor: Don't you just hate it when *spoon.*

---

Tony: Y'ever just feel so depressed and anxious that your stomach physically hurts?

Steve: Mood, but can I do anything for you?

---

Bruce: The next person to make a VSCO thot noise is getting thrown out of this room.

Everyone: sksksksk and i oop-

Bruce, under a table: homocide is bad, homocide is bad, hoMOCIDE IS BAD-

---

Peter Q: Wait, who here likes Pink Floyd?

Steve: I love Pink Floyd! *fist bump*

Tony: Pink Floyd is the best! *fist bump*

Peter P: Yeah, man, my camp wrote a whole musical about Bigfoot! *goes in for a fist bump*

Peter Q: I'm sorry what.

Peter P: He said something different didn't he?

Tony: Oh my god.

---

Scott: What's an apple made of?

T'Challa: Um... apple?

Scott: No, but like what's in the apple?

T'Challa: APPLE??

Scott: NO, WHAT MAKES UP THE APPLE?

T'Challa: IDK ATOMS?

Shuri: 10% of the apple is carbohydrate and 4% is vitamins and minerals while the other 86% is water.

Scott: Thank you.

---

Everyone: *talking over each other*

Pepper: Please, stop talking over each other!

Drax: No!

Carol: *pulls out UNO reverse card* SHUT THE FUCK UP.

Everyone: *silence*

---

Groot: I am Groot. (Translation: In case I die, mark my last words)

Rocket: Okay..

Groot: 420-69 The Earth is flat. *does the dangerous thing*

Rocket: Me too.

---

Pietro: The legs on the bus go leg leg step.

Wanda: ?????

Pietro: Leg leg leg.

Wanda: ???????????

Pietro: STEP STEP STEP.

---

Loki: Vandalism isn't bad.

Valkyrie: No, but your haircut is.

Thor: HOLY SHIT DUDE YOU FUCKING KILL EM!

---

Teacher: How many of you would feel comfortable being the first person to go on a new roller coaster?

Drax: *raises hand*

Drax: Was that the wrong answer.

Tony, on the other side of class, hand also raised: Livin like Larry, the rest of you are fools.

---

Bucky: What if he didn't have a government and everyone promised really hard just to be cool?

---

Peter P, a gen z kid: I wanna lay down on the ground and sob until I'm so dehydrated that I die.

Shuri, another gen z kid: Do it at your house or something! Not on this sticky floor! Yuck.

---

Pietro: We suffer for gluten to obtain the grain.

Wanda: ?????

Pietro: You wondering what's coursing through my veins? Pure Marinara sauce.

Wanda: YOU'RE NOT MAKING SENSE??

---

Thor: No fan, it's man.

Valkyrie: I have no idea what you were getting at there but ok.

Thor: I meant 'no man, it's fine.'

---

Clint: I have a theory.

Rhodey: NO, NOT THIS SHIT AGAIN. I DON'T WANNA HEAR ABOUT ANYMORE DINOSAUR FEET.

Clint: IT'S NOT THE DINOSAUR FOOT ONE!

Fury: Save it for after (the meeting.)

Clint: What if the real birds are in Area 51? And they didn't actually kill them, they're just hostage in Area 51??

Steve: Everyone already knows that, you're a terrible conspiracy theorist.

---

Tony: Just because someone else does it, does not mean you can! Look, if I jumped off a bridge, would you?

Peter P, on the verge of tears: HSDTUETIGKHJC PROBABLY! I'm not about to live my life without you!

---

Nebula: OOOH, wait, where's the vandalism we drew here last year?

---

Thor: Oh my god, I really want a happy meal.

Bruce: Oh my god, I really want a happy life.

Thor: Honey, we've talked about this.

---

Tony: Time to go home! *sits in garbage can*

Pepper: Hey, that was really mean to yourself, get outta there. *tries helping him up*

Pepper: Ew I touched the garbage can!

Tony: Hey, that's my house!

---

Loki: When you have a kink for pushing people out of windows.

---

Steve, after being flipped off: WHA- (TONY) SAID A BAD LANGUAGE FINGER!

---

Scott: I don't think cheese is crunchy?

---

Sam: Bro it's 3:33am.

Bucky: *looks at phone* oh wow, it is!

Sam: What, did you think I was lying to you?

Sam: No, it's 3:32am. Hahahah, look at the camera, you just got pranked.

Bucky: *laughing hysterically* it's too late for this shit.

---

Bruce: BREATHE IF YOU FIND ME ATTRACTIVE.

Bruce: And that's how I committed mass genocide.

Thor, hyperventilating in the corner:

---

Rhodey: Global warming. It sucks.

Peter P: Global warming isn't real?

Scott: How could there be GLOBAL warming if the earth is flat?

Rhodey: I hate you guys

Peter/Scott: *high fives each other.*

---

Strange, high as fuck: Why is that funny? I don't even know what a seizure tastes like?

---

Okoye: Ya girl is DEDICATED!

Shuri: Did you just assume your own gender?

T'Challa: I'm calling the cops.

---

Strange: Did you just glue STARS? Where your EYE BROWS USED TO BE? Emphasis on USED TO BE because you nAIRED THEM OFF! FOR DRAG!

---

Natasha: Anything can be a dildo if you're brave enough.

Clint: *Looks at the knife holders*

Natasha: 0.0

---

Scott: Wait, we were being sarcastic? I'm sorry, I don't understand sarcasm.

Hope: (Scott,) you don't understand anything.

---

Strange: Eat the goddamn president.

---

Steve: I made the mistake of eating sausage while watching the first episode of Black Mirror.

Sam: What's the first episode of Black Mirror about?

Steve: He does the bad thing with the pig.

Sam: OH-

---

Tony: *doing homework* I am dying.

Groot: I am groot.

Steve: Well, I am Steve Rogers.

Pietro: And I'm Kanye West!

Clint: Owoof.

Gamora: And I am not afraid to end your bloodline.

Rocket: And I am inevitable.

Thor: Um, we don't talk about that here.

Peter P: FLEX TAPE CAN'T FIX THAT!

---

Tony: Please, don't nickname me Tone, I can't tell you how much that irritates me.

Steve: Okay, 'Ny.

---

Strange: So, if it's 9 months from conception to birth...

Strange: And my birthday is June 15...

Strange: That means I was conceived in September.

Strange: But my original due date was June 11...

Strange: Which means I was conceived...

Strange: 0o0

---

Pietro: Mirrors are just 'no u' walls.

Rhodey: It's 4 in the morning please stop texting me.

---

Okoye: NO, (BROTHER,) I DON'T WANT TO CHA CHA REAL SMOOTH! STOP HARASSING ME!

---

MORE TO COME! Hope this wasn't too bad.

[bnha-imagines-hcs]

Hey dude! You're making great stuff! Could I please have B, K, and W from the fluff prompt for Aizawa, Hizashi and Spinner? You know Aizawa and Hizashi are my darlings, but I've recently developed a fondness for the lizard boi.Thank you so much!

( the lizard boi… is kinda cute. but what is UP with his SWORDs!? | also i fucking love kamojis… JesUs ChrisT )

fluff alphabet;

| aizawa; headcanons.

BREATH     just exist… in his life… y ea h. tbh aizawa is just always A Huge Fan of u and the fact ur there in a nice way, so like??? yeethaw bby always a fan.

he a sucker for the whole boyfriend shirt thing, it’s just he doesn’t have a whole lotta clothes beside his professional look (dress shirt and slacks) and his actual working look (fuckin… pullover/overall/bodysuit thing lmfao wtf). you could,, ofc,,,,,, put on a huge frigging sweater - the kind commonly used as a dress - and like… thigh highs…. ehrem. (kitty pattern optional but super effective.) and just. hair down (or up) and just. and just.

                    be there.

also if u ever back him up or lead him in a fight, whether it’s frontline business or just you tryin ur best to evacuate a few peeps, well… that’ll do the trick. #synergy TM. he loves the fact ur partners, so anything that actively demonstrates/proves this is… multo bene.

honestly tho just breathe this hobo is a total softie and he so weak for love… so weak for love.

KISS    he actually adores kisses, yet doesn’t indulge often - as with most things that bring him simple pleasure & relaxation, shouta straight up forgets. just- forgets about it. 

it’s not small pecks and chaste things that he really adores - those are. kinda awkward, really. if it makes ya happy go for it, gestures, but. ehh. eh? eh.

long and involved kisses, that’s where it’s at.                                     hands messing w/ ur hair as he draws you close or draws in close himself or both or (we’re very big on equality here), able to drown in dark & warm comfort, feeling u and keeping u locked away in his little corner of the world until you’re ready to go. these happen in private, if aizawa can help it. it’s his prize for bein’ a martyr all the damn time (cough needlessly hard on himself cough), so the rest of the world can fuck off and just let him have this.

he doesn’t initiate ‘long and involved’ in public; don’t mistake this for a lack of interest! he’s just being decent (●´∀｀●)

WILD CARD     the only thing high-maintenance about shouta is the situational factors. he just wants to chill, have a home that is place & person, someone he can have intelligent conversation and comfortable silence with… just to share their lives without infringing on each other too much.he’s very… myeah. non-conventional? if you’re poly and he’s not, have fun with that it’s cool. if you’re busy a lot like him, that’s cool. if you wanna live separately, np. if you need to take time to yourself for a couple years, you do you.what he does demand is truthfulness. not that you don’t have secrets, but that you can just say ‘man i don’t wanna tell you’, rather than deceit. he’s a liiiiiiiittle sensitive about lies, even small ones.

2) also.. he loves to just read together. he doesn’t have a fireplace but if he did, it’d be readin’ by the fire.

| hizashi; headcanons.

BREATH     no offence but this man’s usually short of breath, what with the constant noice production. the things about life that leave him breathless are what drive him, what fuel him - it’s always somewhere on his mind.if he ain’t livin’ his best life, he about to.

so honestly? hmmm. he’s most often kinda in that state, but – ohhh yeah. big droopy sweater + thigh highs used as sleepwear or just. just. on his s/o… pls sit on his lap. pretty please? pleeeassseee… frick.movie night and it’s warm enough and u come out in that and sidle up to him and oh ooohhhh b o y . he’ll just curl an arm arnd you and light his hand upon ur arm, real gentle, not pouncing or w/e just - enjoying tf out of that.

KISS    mmmmmmmm, y e s. hizashi does not, in fact, believe in PDA - the term and general consensus suggests that displays of affection are somehow meant to be absent from day to day life, as though we ought hide our hearts and pretend to be cardboard.not exactly this guy’s thing.

where shouta will seek out privacy for a kiss with real feeling, hizashi– won’t. sure, if things get particularly heated he’ll suggest a break or a, hah, room (if others haven’t already). but as long as it’s warm loving mmmmm yes i love you mmmm hizashi feels there’s nothing improper about it and will give very few shits about commentary. you will end up in a bitchfight with him if u push it- kisses without wandering hands are not indecent, gdu, and any attempt to make he or his partner feel shame over it will be met with… vehement opposition.

alternatively if you are simply highly uncomfortable and respectful about it, ofc they can save it for when you’re not forced to be in the same room as them. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

     every kiss is a real kiss \o/. hizashi positively glows under the weight of lil pecks and ‘i’m leaving’ / ‘i’m back’ / ‘i’m gonna miss u already’ / etc cheek kisses. very fond of the ‘let’s kiss every lil bit of ur face’ style. subscribed to ‘oh? you think this part of u is undesirable? KISSSSSS’ series. proud author of ‘3 hours of body worship is an aperitif, my love’.

WILD CARD     swings and like, those old-school playgrounds for preteens - those are still the shit. hizashi loves lazing around on a swing, gently rocking back and forth while talking about everything or nothing. it’s easy, there’s literally no pressure whatsoever, it’s nostalgic.pushing each other on the swings?? chill as fuck. riding those errr those things w/ the big-ass springs underneath - also cool. oh my god riding those things err SHIT IDK WHAT IT’S CALLED ... ‘cable ways’ ..? The Shit.

just innocent play time pls. no stress & chill.

| spinner; headcanons.

BREATH.      pls. pls play games w/ him and go wild - that’ll do it. if you rock out playing racing / gta / etc games, he’ll love watching u go go go and just. hang back. needlessly awe-struck. it’s just nice to share smth he loves, smth non-serious without strain, and have the person he likes enjoy themselves with it.

KISS     well it’s scaly, we can’t deny that. ‘s not bad though, and that’s esp true if you’re more of a monster fucker than a coward. smooth, stumbly, and generally a lil awkward cuz he’s not at all used to ppl even ??? wanting ?? a lil smoochy smooch from him??? yeah.

eager, though. spinner’s got pretty normal dreams with yer picket fences and vidya games and maybe even a house that’s like inhabitable… yeah. a life where you can just reach out and touch and have it be affection rather than… disgust……… he’s always more affectionate than sexual - that’s more important to him, and his self-image is such that getting turned on doesn’t even really happen. and boy does he have an assortment of cute lil kisses as a result.

soft, careful pecks to test the waters even though you’ve responded well 50 times already - spinner’s someone who’ll ask for permission more often than not, wary of finding out something good has become something… not so good. it’s a hang-up he’ll not let go of soon. lingering ‘i can’t believe this is happening oh shit should i move? fuck am i-’ cheek kisses while he’s arched awkwardly to reach over the couch.sloppy ‘i can’t believe i’m this lucky but i’m too sleepy to question it’ morning / late night kisses.‘hey i was gone for a while and i can’t believe u still want me to kiss u!!! sc o rrrrrre and also oh god are u ALRIGHT.’ less restrained, embraces, face kisses, accidentally kissing ur eye. that happened.he has an excited ‘oh my god u made us hot chocolate’ kiss that stems from i’m living the fucking life finally ho god. 

he’s just. so happy. so happy to have someone he likes and likes him back, smn he can just be domestic with. sure he does crazy shit, but he loves to.. be homey. and lots and lots of little, tentative kisses at every opportunity.

also mini hand touches, but he’s still working on that.

WILD CARD     pls sit on his shoulders and let him scale rooftops like that. adrenaline junking together is The BeesKnees. u wanna get thrown?? the boi will throw u. u wanna cliff dive?? yeet let’s go. u wanna rollercoasterrrrrr rid es. s /? !? ?!? FUCK YES LE’S GO.

[hollowgroverp]

            TOBIAS PIERCE

(age.) 1000+ (species.) vampire (occupation.) unemployed (residency.) arrived january 2019 (mirror.) trevante rhodes

❝  a pavement of the past

Too many damn moons ago, life started out as a shit show for a boy who would grow to be one of the finest dudes around. Born with no more than dirt to his name, this beautiful boy grew up without anything to call his own except his mama, and a pops that died on the run. Nomads to the core, they walked from village to village, always looking for a place to rest their weary little heads, always lookin’ for a scrap of food to fill their empty bellies. Life was fucked up, but at least they had each other, for a time. Boy would’ve done anything for his mama. Stealing food when she was too sick to move, making sure a man who gave her trouble mysteriously vanished. It was a sad ass day when his mama got too sick and died one day when he was older. With her out of the picture, it meant no one was dependent on him anymore, but shit got surprisingly worse, and if finding food was hard before. Led him to steal from some rich dudes covered in furs that didn’t like their goods bein’ lifted. They beat him within an inch of his life for his genius thievery, and if leaving him for dead wasn’t bad enough, some fuckin’ freaky monsters attacked their village that night. And the dude was still there! While the whole village was in an uproar, he booked it the fuck out of there, hidin’ in the shadows when he could. He might’ve been bleedin’ to death, but he’d be damned if he was gonna be monster chow. Boy eventually found some ruins to hide in, figuring out that a couple of the creatures seemed to be on his tail. No matter what anyone says these days – because she will deny it – he gave them a run for their money before they finally found him, bleeding out by a pile of stones. He braced himself, thinkin’ they were about to sink those fangs he saw them flashing the others, but the lady of the deadly duo, Josie, just looked at him and smiled. Now, he would’ve kicked some ass if he had to, but she and her man, Lysander, didn’t wanna go toe-to-toe with him. She said she liked the fight in him and yes, she said she liked how he gave her a chase. I’m tellin’ you that happened. Anyway, the idea of gettin’ those fuckers who pretty much killed him seemed real nice, so he made a deal with the devil, and damn if he hasn’t looked back since. They killed the rich fuckers, too, in case you wanted to know. He made them scream a symphony.

Life got good after that night. He ravaged some shit with her and her family while they could, and it felt damn good to stomp on the world after it stomped on him. They had a lot of fun with that until he was introduced to a new kinda monster. More fangs, and more fuckin’ furs. This time, one of ‘em got Lysander. It hurt like a bitch, but Josie…yeah, she had to see it, and that shit wasn’t pretty. Not long after that fateful day, they came up with a pretty sick idea. They needed people who liked to play hide and seek like they did, who knew how to wait, and listen, and kill. So dude became one of the first Death Dealers. A role model of sorts, if you will. Giving all who came after something to aspire to be. They were assassins of the night, and they were fucking badass. He went between doing missions for that, and traveling with Josie to fuck some shit up together. Sometimes her brother, Lukas, would join in, and they’d all make a game of it. Dude would be on the opposite side of a war she started occasionally just to play a game of chess with a worthy opponent. It was all good times, though. It was all good times. Some years he just had to get away and do his own thing, so he might run around the world, make some connections and stir some shit that was all his doing, but they’d always meet up again, ready to fight the world. He eventually quit doing Death Dealer jobs, but he always had a hand in the business, where he’d help organize and find jobs for them with Josie. As the years went on, he found himself in a lot of dirty shit because of the way the world looked at him, but damn, if he didn’t enjoy throwing those people down a few pegs when he got the chance. They thought they could lock him up? They thought they could control him? They thought they could treat him like dirt again? Nah. That shit didn’t fly. He’d been at the bottom of the food chain once, and never again. Never again.

Anyway, time kept on moving, and would you know it, another war came knocking. Even less shocking – because some people knew this Erik asshole was trouble, but did anyone listen? No – was when one of Josie’s favorite snacks came back to bite them all in the ass. Some people enjoyed the fuck out of watching him die, so there was that, at least. But the damage was done, and they dealt with the aftermath, fighting against all these simple as fuck humans until everyone decided they could be done. Now, this dude wasn’t all that sure what peace meant, but whatever, it was what Josie’s family wanted. Wasn’t really his scene, so he bounced from city to city instead, enjoying life as he always had, and staying on the down low for the sake of not causing a ruckus. He wasn’t all that sure about Josie retirin’ the Death Dealers, but if it was what she wanted, then he’d go along with it. Gave him a chance to enjoy the good days of rollin’ around in his cash, runnin’ some businesses, and livin’ that good life. Except then – shit plays out like a soap opera, don’t it? – these Clave assholes started poppin’ up again and makin’ life real difficult. He’d heard that Josie went back to her sleepy little town of Hollow Grove, but he’d stayed in New York, knowing she’d call if she needed him. And boy, when she finally did, was it a fuckin’ doozy. Lysander’s sneaky little ass left her a note, and apparently, she still got two kids roamin’ around. And that meant it was time to get the Death Dealers back in action, which boy, was he ready for that. He met up with her in New York and they got their shit together before she had to go back to Hollow Grove. He was still with them when she called again, this time wanting him to recommend the best Death Dealer to send her, help her keep an eye on those kids. She had…the audacity…to ask him for the best…when she was already fuckin’ talking to him. Like okay, you tryin to bait him? You tryin’ to play him? Aight, be that way. After he got over that little episode, he told her he’d be there as soon as he could be. Now, word has it that he’s arrived in Hollow Grove, and he’s makin’ himself pretty damn comfortable there. Homeboy doesn’t play around when it comes to making a place his playground. If these Clave assholes wanna play, then he’s come to win.

Who’s the dude? What, you ain’t put two and two together yet? Name’s Tobias Pierce. Any other dumb ass questions?

❝  the nature of the beast

One could not possibly sum up a dude like this in a matter of hours. Man’s suave as shit, can fuck your ass up on any given day, knows how to be quieter than a mouse, enjoys a good cigar every now and then, and dresses sharper than anyone else you know. He’s funnier than hell, knows how to charm anything he wants outta someone, ain’t afraid of a whole lot, and let’s be honest, he’s probably a lot smarter than you give him credit for. A dedicated business man, a fuckin’ brawler when he steps into the cage to fight, and a loyal friend to the end, if you’re lookin’ for a good time, then buddy, you came to the right place.

[thegoldenyears-memories]

                   FIGHT LIKE A GIRL, a lucy karoonda mix.

        𝒊 𝒂𝒎 𝒔𝒎𝒂𝒍𝒍 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒘𝒐𝒓𝒍𝒅 𝒊𝒔 𝒃𝒊𝒈, 𝒃𝒖𝒕 𝒊'𝒎 𝒏𝒐𝒕 𝒂𝒇𝒓𝒂𝒊𝒅 𝒐𝒇 𝒂𝒏𝒚𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒈

                                                           ( listen / download )

01. CLEMENTINE de washington ( i'm alright, i don't mind, i'm just running into something bigger than the something that i left behind. you are restless, very young, got a message from your mother, said to tell you she'll be coming round the mountain when she comes. )

02. TITANIUM de david guetta ft. sia ( you shout it out, but i can't hear a word you say. i'm criticized, but all your bullets ricochet. shoot me down, but i get up. raise your voice, sticks and stones may break my bones, i'm talking loud, not saying much. i'm bulletproof, nothing to lose. fire away, fire away. ricochet, you take your aim. fire away, fire away. you shoot me down, but i won't fall, i am titanium.

03. ONE GIRL REVOLUTION de superchick ( i wear a disguise, i'm just your average jane. the super doesn't stand for model, but that doesn't mean i'm plain. if all you see is how i look, you miss the superchick within. some people see the revolution but most only see the girl. i can lose my hard earned freedom if my fear defines my world. i declare my independence from the critics and their stones. i can find my revolution i can learn to stand alone. i'll be everything that i want to be, i am confidence in insecurity. i am a voice yet waiting to be heard. i'll shoot the shot, bang, that you hear round the world. and i'm a one girl revolution. )

04. WINGS de little mix ( don't let what they say keep you up at night, and if they give you shhhh... then they can walk on by. my feet, feet can't touch the ground and i can't hear a sound, but you just keep on running up your mouth yeah. walk, walk on over there, 'cause i'm too fly to care, oh yeah. your words don't mean a thing, i'm not listening, keep talking. don't let what they say keep you up at night, and they can't detain you 'cause wings are made to fly. and we don't let nobody bring us down. no matter what you say – it won't hurt me. don't matter if i fall from the sky, these wings are made to fly. )

05. NOBODY’S FOOL de avril lavigne ( fall back, take a look at me and you'll see i'm for real. i feel what only i can feel and if that don't appeal to you, let me know and i'll go 'cause i flow better when my colors show. if you're trying to turn me into someone else, its easy to see i'm not down with that. i'm not nobody's fool. if you're trying to turn me into something else, i've seen enough and i'm over that. i'm not nobody's fool. if you wanna bring me down, go ahead and try. )

06. MOST GIRLS de hailee steinfeld ( most girls are smart and strong and beautiful. most girls work hard, go far, we are unstoppable. most girls, our fight to make every day, no two are the same. i wanna be like, i wanna be like most girls. )

07. I EAT BOYS LIKE YOU FOR BREAKFAST de ida maria ( you came to my island, you stepped on my lawn. you pissed off the dog too, you won't last 'til dawn. you insulted my mother, you crapped on my father, say your last prayers mister. i eat boys like you for breakfast, where's my knife and fork now? )

08. I AM WOMAN de helen reddy ( i am woman, hear me roar, in numbers too big to ignore. and i know too much to go back and pretend, 'cause i've heard it all before. and i've been down there on the floor, no one's ever going to keep me down again. yes, i am wise, but it's wisdom born of pain. yes, i've paid the price, but look how much i gained. if i have to, i can do anything. i am strong, i am invincible, i am woman. you can bend but never break me, 'cause it only serves to make me more determined to achieve my final goal. and i'll come back even stronger, not a novice any longer, 'cause you've deepened the conviction in my soul. )

09. WHO SAYS de selena gomez ( i'm sure you got some things you'd like to change about yourself, but when it comes to me i wouldn't want to be anybody else. i'm no beauty queen, i'm just beautiful me. who says, who says you're not perfect? who says you're not worth it? who says you're not pretty? who says you're not beautiful? who says? who says you're not star potential? who says you're not presidential? who says you can't be in movies? listen to me, listen to me. who says you don't pass the test? who says you can't be the best? who said, who said? would you tell me who said that? )

10. HERE I AM de carly patterson ( looking back, where i'm from, can't believe that i'm here. gave my all, payed the price, and i do it again. i've walked alone, in my head, i've cried in my bed. but the morning lights, oh so bright, wake me again. it's about faith and it's about fate, it's about risking it all everyday. it's about holding when you wanna let go. it's just believing in all that you know. here i am now, standing on the edge, everything i know coming together. all my life i've seen it in my dreams, waiting for the day i'm just a second away. break it down, in my head, i can see it so clear. i work it out in my heart, i see it appear. the world it so beautiful from the view up here. it's about reaching when there's nothing inside. it's about breathing when all is too much. it's about standing when you wanna give up. everything is disappearing, standing up here alone. and i feel like i'm standing forever, this is where i belong. )

11.TOMORROW de avril lavigne ( and i wanna believe you when you tell me that it'll be ok. yeah, i try to believe you, but i don't when you say that it's gonna be, it always turns out to be a different way. i try to believe you, not today. i don't know how i'll feel tomorrow. i don't know what to say, tomorrow is a different day. tomorrow it may change. )

12. PERFECT TO ME de anne-marie ( don't feel like putting makeup on my cheeks, do what i wanna. love every single part of my body, top to the bottom. i'm not a supermodel from a magazine, i'm okay with not being perfect, 'cause that's perfect to me. no matter where i go, everybody stares at me. not into fancy clothes, i'm rocking baggy jeans. getting too close for comfort, but comfort is what i need, so i eat my body weight in chocolate and ice cream. maybe i bite my nails and don't think before i speak, don't fit in any crowd, don't ever get much sleep, i wish my legs were bigger, bigger than new york city, and i'll love who i want to love, 'cause this love is gender free. sometimes i wake up late and don't even brush my teeth. just wanna stuff my face with leftover mac and cheese. you know i get depressed, are you impressed with my honesty? so i wear what i wanna 'cause i'm cool with what's underneath. )

13. SISTERS ARE DOIN’ IT FOR THEMSELVES de eurythmics ( now there was a time when they used to say that behind every "great man", there had to be a "great woman". but in these times of change you know that it's no longer true. so we're comin' out of the kitchen 'cause there's somethin' we forgot to say to you. sisters are doin' it for themselves, standin' on their own two feet and ringin' on their own bells. now this is a song to celebrate the conscious liberation of the female state. mothers, daughters and their daughters too. woman to woman, we're singin' with you. the "inferior sex" got a new exterior. we got doctors, lawyers, politicians too. everybody, take a look around, can you see there's a woman right next to you. )

14. WOMAN’S WORLD de little mix ( if you never been told how you gotta be, what you gotta wear, how you gotta speak, if you never shouted to be heard, you ain't lived in a woman's world. and if you can't see that it's gotta change, only want the body but not the brains, if you think that's the way it works, you ain't lived in a woman's world. no, no (try livin', try try livin'), oh, no (try livin', try try livin'), oh (in a woman's world), try livin' in a woman's world. just look at how far that we've got and don't think that we'll ever stop. know that there will be a day when everyone's treated the same, it's the only way it's got to be. )

15. MEN EXPLAIN THINGS TO ME de tacocat ( i already know how this is gonna go. tell me to calm down, tell me to calm down again. don't tell me what to do, my feelings won't subdue just because you told them to. you're a cliché, useless in every way. this land is your land in the palm of your hand, i'll walk around so you can stand. you're in my way, everyday. we get it dude, we've already heard enough from you, the turning point is overdue. )

16. FLY de hilary duff ( in a moment, everything can change, feel the wind on your shoulder. for a minute, all the world can wait, let go of your yesterday. all your worries, leave them somewhere else, find a dream you can follow. reach for something, when there's nothing left, and the world's feeling hollow. can you hear it calling? can you feel it in your soul? can you trust this longing? and take control. fly, open up the part of you that wants to hide away. you can shine, forget about the reasons why you can't in life, and start to try, 'cause it's your time, time to fly. and when you're down and feel alone, just want to run away, trust yourself and don't give up, you know you better than anyone else. )

17. NEVER GIVE UP de sia ( and i won't let you get me down. i'll keep gettin' up when i hit the ground. oh, never give up, no, never give up no, no, oh. )

18. HOW DOES IT FEEL de avril lavigne ( i'm not afraid of anything, i just need to know that i can breathe. and i don't need much of anything but suddenly, suddenly. i am small and the world is big, all around me is fast moving. surrounded by so many things, suddenly, suddenly. how does it feel to be different from me? are we the same? i'm young, and i am free, but i get tired, and i get weak. i get lost, and i can't sleep. i am small and the world is big, but i'm not afraid of anything. )

19. DEATH de white lies ( i love the feeling when we lift off, watching the world so small below. i love the dreaming when i think of the safety in the clouds out my window. the sky's set out like a pathway, but who decides which route we take. as people drift into a dreamworld, i close my eyes as my hands shake. and when i see a new day, who’s driving this anyway. i picture my own grave, 'cause fear's got a hold on me. floating neither up or down, i wonder when i’ll hit the ground. )

20. DOWN de jason walker ( i shot for the sky, i'm stuck on the ground, so why do i try? i know i'm gonna fall down. i thought i could fly, so why did i drown? i never know why it's coming down. )

21. PART OF ME de katy perry ( you took my light, you drained me down, but that was then and this is now, now look at me. this is the part of me that you're never gonna ever take away from me, no. throw your sticks and your stones, throw your bombs and your blows, but you're not gonna break my soul. )

22. RISE UP de andra day ( and you can't find the fighter, but i see it in you. so we gonna walk it out, move mountains. and i'll rise up, i'll rise like the day. i'll rise up, i'll rise unafraid. i'll rise up, and i'll do it a thousand times again. and i'll rise up, high like the waves. i'll rise up in spite of the ache )

23. FIGHT SONG de rachel platten ( this is my fight song, take back my life song, prove i'm alright song. my power's turned on, starting right now i'll be strong, i'll play my fight song. and i don't really care if nobody else believes, 'cause i've still got a lot of fight left in me. like a small boat on the ocean, sending big waves into motion. like how a single word can make a heart open. i might only have one match, but i can make an explosion. )

24. BREAKAWAY de kelly clarkson ( trying hard to reach out, but when i tried to speak out felt like no one could hear me. wanted to belong here, but something felt so wrong here, so i prayed i could break away. i'll spread my wings and i'll learn how to fly, i'll do what it takes 'til i touch the sky. and i'll make a wish, take a chance, make a change and breakaway. buildings with a hundred floors, swinging 'round revolving door,  maybe i don't know where they'll take me but gotta keep moving on, moving on, fly away, breakaway. out of the darkness and into the sun, but i won't forget the place i come from. i gotta take a risk, take a chance, make a change and breakaway. )

25. FREAK OUT de avril lavigne ( try to tell me what i shouldn't do, you should know by now i won't listen to you. walk around with my hands up in the air, 'cause i don't care. you don't always have to do everything right, stand up for yourself and put up a fight. just let me live my life, i can't ever run and hide. i won't compromise, 'cause i'll never know. )

26. RUN THE WORLD (GIRLS) de beyoncé ( some of them men think, they freak this like we do. but no, they don't, make your check come at their neck. disrespect us? no, they won't.  this goes out to all the women getting it in, you're on your grind. to other men that respect what i do, please accept my shine. boy i know you love it, how we're smart enough to make these millions, strong enough to bear the children then get back to business. see, you better not play me. who are we? what we run? the world. who run the world? girls. )

BONUS. MISS INDEPENDENT de kelly clarkson ( miss independent, miss self-sufficient, miss keep-your-distance. miss unafraid, miss out-of-my-way, miss don't-let-a-man-interfere, no. miss on-her-own, miss almost-grown, miss never-let-a-man-help-her-off-her-throne. so, by keeping her heart protected, she'd never ever feel rejected. little miss apprehensive, said ooh, she fell in love. what is the feelin' takin' over? thinkin' no one could open my door. surprise, it's time to feel what's real. what happened to miss independent? no longer need to be defensive. goodbye, old you, when love is true. misguided heart, miss play-it-smart, miss if-you-want-to-use-that-line-you-better-not-start, no. but she miscalculated, she didn't want to end up jaded, and this miss decided not to miss out on true love. so, by changing her misconceptions, she went in a new direction and found inside she felt a connection, she fell in love. when miss independence walked away, no time for love that came her way. she looked in the mirror and thought today, what happened to miss no-longer-afraid? it took some time for her to see how beautiful love could truly be. no more talk of why can't that be me, i'm so glad i finally see. )

╰  ❄  feliz navidad y año nuevo, ale.

—; de: andy ( @dorcasdoemeadowes​ )

—; para: ale ( @missself-sufficient​ )

*Baila tap* Que onda, it’s the me again 8). Siento que ya me había tocado Lucy antes, creo que sí, y aunque estuve tentada a hacer algo Dancy, pensé que esta vez me enfocaría en Lucy. Así que me puse a hacerle un mix y casi pongo toda la discografía de Avril Lavigne, pero me detuve AHAHAHAHA. Originalmente la portada iba a ser otra pero busqué por mar y tierra la foto que quería y nunca la encontré, así que dije: bueno, yolito; ese dibujo siempre me ha recordado a Lucy, así que espero que la portada simple te guste <33. Quise abarcar desde su feminismo, pasando por como la gente no la aceptó por quien era y por sus orígenes muggles, cruzando por su temor en la guerra y tocando un poco de Dancy (he ahí el bonus track, que obvio es un clásico de Lucy 8D). Algo en lo que me fijé fue en el tema de volar, puedes notar que varias canciones remiten al gusto de Lucy por volar, como se siente mejor arriba en las nubes, como se siente libre ahí, además de lo mucho que ha luchado por lo que quiere. Fue un tema que honestamente me gustó mucho tratar. No negaré que fue difícil hacerlo y me tomó un poco más de tiempo que el resto de mis regalos, pero al final junté muchas cancioncitas que me parece quedan re bien con Lucy.

Espero te guste mucho este mix, que creo también quedará mucho contigo, ahí te robas unas rolas para ti :*, okay no. Ahhhh, me alegra mucho que me hayas tocado. Te amo mucho, sé que siempre te lo digo pero te amo mucho, eres un enorme apoyo en mi vida y te he podido contar cosas que a nadie más, y aún así, sorpresivamente, me ves como una hermosa persona, lo cual no entiendo, pero agradezco. Gracias por ser mi partner in crime, por siempre escucharme cuando me siento mal, por estar de mi lado y defenderme, por permitirme verme claramente cuando siento que soy un asco. Sé que muchas veces chocamos, otras veces peleamos, pero me alegro que siempre nos arreglemos porque eres parte fundamental de mi vida, y si no hablara con Joa y contigo diario sería muy extraño. Muchas gracias por ayudarme a mantener este roleplay que tanto queremos con vida, por darme ships bonitas, plots bonitos, decir que mis personajes son cool, levantarme el ánimo cuando alguien me dice algo feo, darme cachetadas cuando lo necesito, y recordarme que no todo es tan horrible. Eres mi pequeña roca y te amo mucho. Muchas gracias por todo, Ale, no sé quien sería hoy sin ti (y sin Joa). Eres muy importante para mí. Disfruta de este pequeño regalo, I luv u. Feliz Navidad y año nuevo, que este año sea hermoso para ti, porque mereces todo lo bonito en esta vida. Me emociona poder vivir otro año contigo a mi lado.

                                                      — andy. 🎅