#dude those space aliens are TOAST

[nessieart]

The Way Back. V

WC: 7.5k (its super long im so sorry!)

eventual bucky x reader. maybe steve x reader. im still deciding dontshootme

Summary: These powers were meant to help people. Help The Avengers, your family. It felt like every time you used them, something bad always happened. Maybe someone has the answers, somewhere.

An: I've had half of this done already, and wasn't sure where to put it. So here we are! Enjoy!

Masterlist

Previously:

"I bet you say that to all the girls, Bucky," you tease, placing a hand on his chest. You push him away slightly so you can order a drink for yourself, but Bucky steps back into your space, holding your hand to his chest.

He looks over your shoulder for a moment, then down at you as he lowers his face next to your ear.

"Maybe, but I'm here with the prettiest dame in Brooklyn tonight. And there's nowhere else I'd rather be."

Oh, he's good. You bring a hand over your mouth to stifle the laugh that wants to bubble out.

"Alright, soldier, buy a gal a drink first," you chuckle. It earns you a bright smile, and Bucky turns to get the bartenders attention.

As you gaze around the bar, you see a familiar head of blonde hair, then realize he's leaving. You turn to Bucky, "why is Steve leaving?" Bucky stiffens next to you. He looks at you from the corner of his eye.

2011

New Mexico was oddly cold this time of year. You still haven't gotten used to it after moving back here for 3 years. After leaving California, packing up your whole life from your small apartment, you decided going home might do you some good. Helping out the family business wasn't what you had in mind, but you had no other options. It wasn't permanent, that's what you kept telling yourself. Your mom just needed a little help, that's all.

Dr. Jane Foster sat in your section of the tourist-fueled diner in the middle of Roswell. Small green alien decor with a retro ‘50s vibe was all the rage - at least it was in the ‘90s.

“Look, I get it, sure,” you shrugged, placing the plates of toast and waffles (in the shape of little green men) on the table, “it's all hilarious to poke fun at the failed Astrophysics major - in green antenna - but I left all those theories back west. Sorry, Doc.”

“I read your graduating thesis,” she bursts out, hands clamped tight around the coffee mug on the table. “Your theory on Parallel Existences and Space-Time Resonance was,” she huffed out a breath of disbelief, “was truly amazing! It was inspiring! I want you to come work with me, er us. With us. please?” The sentence was rushed, and she hardly took a moment to breathe, but you understood.

There was another huff across from her, the girl in glasses and a beanie rolling her eyes and putting more waffles in her mouth than she should.

“Lay off, Jane,” Darcy, you think her name is, says around a mouthful of waffles and syrup, “she obviously would rather work her minimum wage, shit job, where she has to dress like that,” she points her fork up and down at your outfit, “-than see the hunky space dude you hit with the van.” 

Your eye twitches, and you place your hands on your hips. Dr Foster shoots her companion a glare and mutters something about it was an accident, and you're too focused on their banter to hear the bell above the door, and the man approaching the table of your current customers.

“Well, what's the verdict, my dear?” An accented voice pulls your thoughts away.  And you're looking at one of your idols.

“D-Doctor Sel- Selvig,” it's a whisper, and you're staring wide-eyed at the man, mouth gaping like a fish as you fumble about what to say. It's all stuttered syllables, and you promise you're more verbally inclined than this very moment. You have a PhD for crying out loud. Well, almost a PhD, but who's keeping track?

Dr Selvig chuckles, placing a hand on your shoulder, “I'm assuming that's a ‘yes'?” Your frantic nodding is all you could muster.

Your brows are furrowed, arms crossed at your chest and head tilted to the side. Surely, this space hunk, that Darcy calls him (probably derogatory, not affectionate), can't be from, well, space. Could he?

You read Jane's readings she gathered from the other night as she drove back to her ‘lab’. She talked a mile a minute and hardly paid attention to the road as she pointed out certain scans and readings on the paper in your hands. Her hands articulated wildly, and your hand on the wheel of the van to keep it between the lines on the road.

The blond Adonis in a too tight shirt smirks down at you, mimicking your stance with a twinkle in his electric blue eyes.

You narrow your eyes at him, “you're from space.” It's not a question, and the man - a God he had said - nods once.

“From a planet called-”

“Realm,” he corrects.

“Uh huh,” your head tilts the other way.  “Asgard.” He grins, big and bright, and then claps his hands together so loud it sounds like thunder. 

“You were far easier to convince than the rest of your friends,” he claps a hand on your shoulder, and you're sure the force of it sends you into the floor beneath you. A quiet ow leaving your lips.

His voice is accented and deep, and dare you say…old timey? Like going to Medieval Times or something.

He puts on a show, voice loud and booming with purpose as he describes his home. There's a fond smile on his lips and a far-off look in his eyes. 

You roll your shoulder to ease the sting, “With Dr Fosters findings on the Einstein-Rosen-”

“Bifrost,” Thor corrects you again.

“Uh huh, bifrost. With her data on the Bifrost, it would only conclude to lead somewhere else. Somewhere far away that we could never hope to discover in our lifetime. Multiple lifetimes.” You've paced away from Thor's grip and around the room. “Imagine if you could travel anywhere, any place conceivable to the known universe…it’s. It’s extraordinary.”

There was a repetitive loud banging on the glass door behind you. It made you squeak in surprise. Four large people stood on the other side, all wearing…well, odd clothing. Three men and a woman.

“My friends!” Thor’s thundering voice shouted.

—

It was still hard to believe, even though you watched them all disappear. 

A beam of bright, radiant rainbow light appeared from the heavens, engulfed Thor and his friends, and then they were gone. A large glyph seared into the desert sands was the only thing left of their time on earth. 

After that, things happened so fast. Working with Dr. Selvig, being recruited by SHIELD. Doing something you loved and missed.

And then the explosion happened. 

Everything was fine one minute, and then the next, the readings were off the charts. SHIELD started evacuating all personnel on the upper floors. You insisted on staying with Selvig to try and tame the Tesseract, but it’s been hours, and you have nothing to show for progress.

Nick Fury is an intimidating man. You've  only been in his vicinity a handful of times. You're pretty positive he only has one emotion; serious.

It all happened so fast. Fury was shouting, and so was Selvig. The only thing you could hear was the ringing in your ears, then a pain so searing hot and ice cold, shot through your chest it almost made you pass out. It felt like you were on fire. Every breath and subtle movement was painful. A groan leaves your lips, and it takes considerable effort to open your eyes.

You could hear voices call your name. Maybe it was your name. Who were you? 

How did you end up on the floor? It was all a blur.

“Now then, who are you?” A lilting accented voice above you asked. When your eyes meet the striking bright blues of the stranger - or did you know him - he smirks at you.

“I- I don't-” was that your voice? It sounds so far away. 

There’s a lot of loud noises across the open room - guns, yeah, probably guns - the ringing is slowly subsiding as you sit up. The burning sensation is all but gone now. There's a man knelt down beside you, a hand gripping your bicep and tugging you up to your feet.

“C’mon, kid, we gotta go,” he says in your ear. It feels like eternity as you drag your eyes from your hands to his face. 

“You - you have an eyepatch. Are you a pirate?” 

The man shakes you a little, “Snap out of it, Agent. Get that brain goin’,” he - Fury! How could you forget - pulls you along with him, a briefcase in his other hand.

“Please don’t,” the quiet voice seems to carry far in the wide open space. “I still need that.”

“This doesn’t have to get any messier,” Fury says, slightly turning back to the mystery man clad in green.

Fury slowly steps in front of you, shielding your body with his. You’re vaguely aware of more conversation being had in the room, but the ringing is slowly taking over again the longer you stare at the scepter in the stranger's white knuckled grip.

There’s a loud shot that rings out, and Fury is at your feet with a bullet hole in his shoulder. You yelp in surprise and kneel down next to him.  There’s a rush of footsteps toward you, and when a pair of hands try to pull you along, they phase right through you.

You stare up at the stranger, both of your eyes wide in surprise. His eyes were eerily blue.

“What in the Nine Realms are you?” There’s wonder in his voice, and then he doubles over in pain, a bodyguard, and Agent Barton pull him along in a hurry, along with the large silver briefcase.

There’s a groan below you, and Nick Fury is sitting up, yanking the bullet from his vest.

Everything goes blurry and dark around the edges of your vision as Fury all but drags you out of the building and into a helicopter.

—

It was hard to remember how you got here, in a bed, in an off-white room with monitors and an IV connected to your hand.

Your mind is still trying to catch up. The events of the last day and a half are still fuzzy and catching up with your sluggish brain. The hiss of the door opening pulls your eyes up from your lap, Agent Coulson stands in the doorway.

“How - ?” 

He raises a hand as he steps closer, “you've been out for most of the day. I was starting to worry.  We brought you on the helicarrier,” someone is there to remove your IV, and Coulson helps you out into the hallway.

He places a comforting hand on your shoulder, waiting for you to get your bearings.

“I remember-,” your eyebrows scrunch up, and you shake your head, “I remember the Tesseract acting up. Dr Selvig was trying to stabilize her, but she wouldn't respond.”

Coulson led you down the hall and onto the bridge. Director Fury and Agent Hill were conversing when they noticed you entered.

“The energy release opened a portal,” your hand comes up to your chest (whether you realize it or not). There's a slight burning sensation when you do. “It went right through me.  Didn't it?”

You peer around the room, Coulson and Hill look worried, and Fury is as serious as ever. His large footfalls echo in the open space. You feel like Fury is stalking towards his prey, and you're it.

“That beam went right through you, Agent,” he stops a few inches from you, single eye peering down his nose at you. “Saw it myself. Are there any side effects I need to know about?” You shake your head.

Fury tugs on the black tank top resting on your collarbone. When you look down, there's a very noticeable bright blue glow coming from your chest.

Pulling it down just far enough to not flash the whole room, there's a palm sized blue crystal seared to the flesh of your chest. 6 inches long, below your clavicle and ending between your breasts.

The skin around it is scared and puckered with healed over burn marks. You touch it, and it's solid, glowing brighter when your finger runs along the edge.

“What the hell?” You look up at Fury with wide eyes, tears gathering and blurring the edge of your vision. “Can it come off? How did it - what - ? Take it off-” 

Your mind is running a mile a minute, heart rate also kicking up. You're pretty sure your breathing is ragged and sporadic. 

Oh, so it's definitely a panic attack. 

You're gasping for breath when a comforting hand runs up your back, Coulson is talking softly in your ear to bring you back down.

Am I on the floor?

“Yes, it's ok. Breathe, follow along. Do what I do,” a soft voice says to you. Your hand is placed on their chest, and you can feel the beat of their heart and the rise and fall of a chest. The purple cotton shirt is soft under your fingertips.

In, out. Breathe. In, and out.

“You're doing great,” the man says. You look up to his face. He's quietly calm. The uptick of a smile pulls at his lips when you mimic his breathing again.

“Great,” you exhale a long breath. “I just had a panic attack in front of Dr Banner. Good going, y/n. Smooth.”

Banner chuckles, squeezing your hand he still holds to his chest, “don't worry about it,” his smile is polite, and he helps you stand.

Behind you, Fury calls your name, “Agent, why don’t you help Dr. Banner with locating the Tesseract? I’m sure your…abilities could prove useful.”

“Um, sure.”

--

Bruce (he’s asked you on multiple occasions in the last half hour to call him Bruce) removes his glasses from his face. There’s a slight flush on his face after he examines the crystalline scar on your chest. It sits flush against your skin, but hard has a rock when touched.

You sat on top of the table, and the black sports bra didn't cover any of the crystalline on your sternum. It was easier for Bruce to examine it this way.

“So, what's the verdict?” You put the tank top back on. At least it covered a majority of the blue glowing rock.

Bruce sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose as he did. “I'd need to x-ray the area, just to be 100% sure, but I think it might be fused with you. Your sternum, maybe a few ribs.”

“So in other words, it's a part of me,” you slid off the table and stood, “whatever this is, it's not going anywhere.”

Bruce gives you a sullen look, shaking his head a little. There was a commotion outside the lab, a bunch of armed SHIELD agents filling the hallway. They were escorting a prisoner. The man from New Mexico is tall, pale, and mysterious.

“What's going on?” You edge closer to the window as they pass, the mystery man staring at Bruce and giving him an all-knowing smirk. Then his eyes shift to you, and the smirk drops, his brows furrow, and the same look of awe crosses his features that he gave you back in the basement of Project PEGASUS. And then he's out of sight.

“C'mon, they should be back by now,” Bruce says. You follow him out of the room and down a different hallway when you enter the bridge.

“Who should be back? Bruce-” 

The monitors flick on around the room, projecting a live feed from a chamber. The green clad man is encased in a large glass prison. Your eyes scan the room, finding Natasha Romanoff seated at the large table in the middle of the room.

There's also a video playing in front of her, too. You come up behind her, placing a hand on her shoulder, and she turns to you to give you a hug.

You met Nat after you joined SHIELD, being assigned to the New Mexico base along with Clint Barton. Nat had come and gone a few times, and you two got along well enough that you considered her a friend.

“I'm sorry I couldn't do anything to help Clint,” you whisper to her. She pulls back from the hug and gives you a serious look.

Nat looks down at your chest briefly, “don't be, I saw the footage.” She squeezes your bicep and returns to her chair. A sigh leaves you, letting go of some of the stress on your shoulders.

Looking up when you hear a few pairs of boots enter, you jolt in surprise. 

“Thor?” You're already making your way towards him. He has a huge grin on his face as his arms open wide. He lifts you into a crushing hug, a big deep chuckle of your name rumbling in his chest as your arms wind around his neck.

“What are you doing here? I never thought I'd see you again,” you pull back to look at him, and he sets you down.

“Truth be told, I never thought I would be back on Midgard so soon,” his face somber, and he leaves a hand on your shoulder. “Not after the Bifrost was destroyed. This disastrous mess with Loki, I fear, is all my fault.”

You tilt your head, “Loki, your brother?”

As if on queue, the TV screens and monitors around the room pick up sound, Fury's and the stranger's voice echoing around the room.

You walk closer to Natasha, peering over her shoulder at the video that plays.

“In case it's unclear. You try to escape, you so much as scratch that glass,” Fury turns and presses a button. It opens a large hatch door on the floor below the glass chamber Loki stands in. “Thirty thousand feet, straight down in a steel trap. You get how that works?” 

The hatch doors close a second later, and Fury points towards the man in the cell, “Ant,” then points to the control panel, “Boot.” 

More words are exchanged between them, and then you're suddenly aware of someone staring a hole into the side of your head.  When you look, there's a man in a red white and blue leotard all but glaring a hole through you. 

You go to open your mouth, but he quickly snaps out of it and focuses back on the monitor in front of him. You look around to see if anyone notices, but everyone else is focused on other things. 

“-to have the Tesseract, to have power. Unlimited power. And for what?” Loki stares at the camera with a mischievous grin, “A warm light for all mankind to share. And then be reminded what real power is.” 

“He really grows on you, doesn't he?” Bruce jokes.

“Loki's gonna drag this out. So, Thor, what's his play?” The man in blue speaks up. He briefly makes eye contact with you and then turns his gaze to Thor.

Thor shakes his head like he zoned out a little, “he has an army called the Chitauri. They are not of Asgard or any known world. He means to lead them against your people. They will win him the earth. In return, I suspect, for the Tesseract.”

Every time someone has mentioned that glowing blue cube, the crystal scar on your chest pulses a little. Maybe from phantom pain from a few days ago, but it burns again when you bring your hand to it. 

“Selvig?” Thor's question of your mentor's name snaps you out of the pain in your chest. 

“He's an astrophysicist,” Bruce says.

“He's a friend,” you and Thor share a concerned look for Erik. You pace back towards Thor and put a hand on his overly large forearm, trying to comfort him. His hand dwarfs yours when he covers it.

“I don't think we should be focusing on Loki,” Bruce says. He begins to pace around, his eyes seeking a solution to a problem. “that guy's brain is a bag full of cats. You can smell crazy on him.”

You stifle a snort when Thor goes rigid, “Have care how you speak. Loki is beyond reason, but he is of Asgard, and he is my brother.” You give a gentle squeeze of your hand, and Thor gives you a small nod.

“He killed 80 people in two days,” Nat simpers.

“He's adopted,” Thor supplies quietly. 

“I think it's about the mechanics.  Iridium, what did they need the iridium for?”

“It's a stabilizing agent,” you say. Another voice behind you also saying it at the same time.

“Means the portal won't collapse on itself, like it did at SHIELD.” Tony Stark. Of course. You met him once before, for the internship at Stark Industries, years ago, another lifetime ago.

Stark walks along the room, patting Thor on his bicep as he walks by, “no hard feelings, Point Break, you gotta mean swing.” He notices you, a stutter in his step and the brief furrow of his brow, then continues walking.

“The only major component he still needs is a power source,” Stark continues.

“Something of high energy density,” you cross your arms, nodding.

“Something to kick start the cube,” Stark finishes.

“When did you become an expert in thermonuclear Astrophysics?” Agent Hill asks Stark.

“Last night. The packet. Selvig’s notes-”

“the extraction theory papers?” you asked. “I - I uh, helped him with those,” you say quieter, a heat rising to your cheeks when the eyes around the table turn to you.

“Does Loki need any particular kind of power source?” You can see the star on his chest now. How could you miss it? Phil hasn't stopped talking about him for almost a year. Captain America himself. You blame the slip in memory due to the accident. You're sure no one else notices your memory slip.

“He's got to heat the cube to-” 

“-to a hundred and twenty million Kelvin-,” you cut off Bruce.

And in turn he finishes your sentence,“-to break through the Coulomb barrier.”

Stark continues both your train of thought, “unless, Selvig figured out how to stabilize the quantum tunneling effect.” 

“Well, if he could do that he could achieve Heavy Ion Fusion at any reactor on the planet,” Bruce surmises. It's a lot to take in. 

“Finally, people that speak English,” Stark says, he walks up to Bruce and shakes his hand, complimenting him on his research and how he turns into the Hulk.

Bruce gives a shy smile and thanks him. Bruce beckons you over as they turn to leave the room, and you follow behind, sharing one last glance at Thor. You give him a small wave when he nods at you.

-+

Steve never considered himself a jealous person. Bucky had always made sure to include him in everything he did. Steve never felt left out with Bucky around.

So he wasn't sure what this feeling was, deep in his chest. It ached, it felt heavy, and it made his heart thud painfully behind his rib cage. He subconsciously wasn’t sure if it had to do with his heart murmur or the bruises on his sternum from the fight he got in the other day.

Steve had met you a few days ago. It was like you fell out of the sky, quite literally, in front of him. You gave him the most dazzling smile. He thought he was going blind. He had enough medical problems, and going blind wouldn't have surprised him.

So why were you here now? Talking and flirting with Bucky, of all people. Steve thought you liked him. You even said as much.

I like you like this, Steve. You even placed your hand on his cheek. His face turned hot under your touch.

Bucky caught Steve's eye over your shoulder and gave Steve a wink. He leaned in real close to your ear and said something. The breath from Bucky's lips fanning across your cheek and moving your hair.

Your hand came up to your mouth, and you laughed. Steve could see your shoulders shake, and then your hand landed on Bucky's chest.

Steve's nostrils flared, and he balled his fists so tight he thought the skin would split. And when he met Bucky's eyes again, his chest went warm. He turned on his heels and walked out of that bar so fast the soles of his shoes could catch fire.

=

“You ok, Cap?” Fury's voice snaps Steve out of his memory, eyes refocusing in the room. He had watched you follow Bruce and Tony down the hall to the lab, he assumes.

He was so surprised to see you standing there, embracing Thor like you were old friends. Hell, maybe you were. But then your eyes found his, and for a brief moment, hope flickered to life in Steve for the first time since coming out of the ice. But the light of recognition never triggered in your eyes, and they just continued to scan the room and back to Thor.

As you left, you tossed another glance behind you, small recognition in your eyes when you looked at him. Maybe you did remember. And then your gaze shifted to Thor again and gave a small reassuring wave.

Maybe it wasn't you he met 70 odd years ago. Maybe it was a relative. That's what he likes to think, anyway. That's what he keeps telling himself. 

Steve stands, hands spread wide on the table in front of him as he looks at Director Fury. “Why is Charlie here?”

Fury looks confused for a brief moment, single eye squinting in question. “Who the hell is Charlie?”

==

Bruce tried and failed to hide the smile on his face, “and all I packed was a toothbrush.”

A small chuckle left your lips from the other side of the lab. You were trying to focus on the readings on the tablet in your hands and also adjusting the parameters of the search for the tesseract on the monitor in front of you. Display readings fluctuate as you expand the search to South America.

Bruce lets out a sharp ow when you hear the small spark of an electrical prod go off. you squeak in surprise as Captain America comes barging in at the same time.

“Hey!” His broad frame appears in front of you, blocking your other companions from view. “Are you nuts?”

“Jury's still out,” you can hear the shrug and smug smirk in Tony’s voice. “You're tiptoeing big man, you need to strut!”

“And you need to focus on the problem, Mr. Stark,” the Captain argues back. 

There's a ringing in your ears the longer they disagree and argue. A blue light flashes in your periphery, a sharp pain in your chest. You're vaguely aware of something shattering at your feet as you hunch in on yourself. The pain in your chest is unbearable, and the tearing at your throat is getting harsher by the second; pain in your vocal chords like you've been screaming for hours.

The searing pain suddenly stops, and when you can feel other sensations other than the agony in your chest, you open your eyes.

There's audible sighs of relief when your vision focuses after a few rapid blinks. Above you stand Tony, Bruce, and one very concerned Steve Rogers.

“Wha-” your throat was hoarse and dry, and you cough a few times to try and clear it. A gentle hand on your back tries to soothe away the ache.

“You ok, kid?” 

“Give her some space.”

“Charlie, you with us?”

Your brow scrunch tight as your eyes cut to Captain America, “who the hell is Charlie?” He helps you stand and takes a step back, his hand coming up to run through his golden hair and then rub at the back of his neck.

Tony eyes the Star-Spangled man, eyes squinting in curiosity. 

“I'm sorry, you look like someone I used to know. You know, before,” Rogers shrugs sheepishly. “Maybe a relativ-”

There's a beep from across the lab, and Tony perks up, an audible ah ha! as he makes his way to the monitor. He deflates when it was just a false alarm. Mumbling something about JARVIS taking his sweet old time.

Steve lets out a loud huff, turning to leave but stopping in the doorway, “just hurry and find the cube,” and then he swiftly exits.

Bruce is still crowded in your space, trying to make sure you're ok, a tentative hand on your shoulder to ground you.

“You alright over there, Nightlight?” Tony asks.

You snort softly,”Y-you're one to talk. I don-don’t know what happened,” you put your head in your hands. “At least the pain is gone.”

Bruce makes a startled noise, and when you look up, Tony is in your face, and you try not to jump in surprise.

Tony taps your chest with the end of the small prod, it clinks on contact, and he hums. “I'm sure it's fine,” he shrugs.

“Tony I don't-” Bruce starts but cuts himself off when you turn and leave.

Answers. You need answers, and the only one who you think might have them is currently locked up in a cell made for the Hulk.

--

You peered through the glass window just to make sure no one else was in the room. Natasha was exiting, and as her door closed with a woosh, yours opened.

Loki had his back to you, hands clasped behind his back. When he sensed another entering the large empty space, he turned his head to glare over his shoulder.

His back straightened when he caught sight of you, though. Turning to face you head on and stalk to the glass as you took hesitant steps forward.

“Well, well,” his voice echoed in the room, a smirk pulling up one side of his lips, “ if it isn't the little mortal. Tell me, do the others know about what the Tesseract has done to you? Your little magic trick?”

You shake your head. The phantom pain from earlier was crawling up your body, and you brought a hand to your chest as a shudder went through you. Loki arched an eyebrow at you when you stepped closer.

“I don't know what's happening to me,” Your throat felt tight, and you pulled the shirt collar down to show him the crystalline scar on your chest. 

“My, you are full of surprises, little mortal,” his smirk was anything but teasing. Glittering blue eyes stared down his nose in condescending fashion.

“Can you remove it?” You gave a hopeful look, “you can do magic, right?  Please.” You stepped closer to the glass, breath fogging up the outside of it as you stared up at Loki. 

A sneer pulled at his lips as his shoulders squared tight, “I am not a magician.” 

You both studied each other for a moment, and then a sly grin spread across his face.

An explosion rocked the helicarrier so hard you lost your footing and stumbled back, grabbing onto a railing. Just as you're about to get your bearings and stand, another explosion goes off, and you fall, hitting your head on the railing as you go down.

“ow,” you mumble, rolling over on your side. “Phil…” Looking up, you see a very large gun in his hands.

He spares you a small glance, then focuses in front of him, “Move away, please.” 

You use the railing to sit up, kneeling on your knees as you wait for your head to stop spinning.

Loki has his hands up as he moves away from the control panel. A voice calls your name, and you see Thor in the glass case.

“Thor,” you rasp, and grasp along the railing as you make your way to him.  “Are you ok?” You ask when you get close. He nods, and he looks over your shoulder at Loki and Coulson. 

“Even I don't know what it does. Wanna find out?” Phil smirks.

One minute, you're looking at Loki near the console, and then there's another behind Coulson. Spear in hand.

Time seems to slow as Loki double pierces Phil in the back and sticks out his chest. The audible gasp that leaves his lips seems to echo in your mind.

You hear Thor yell, and you scramble forward to get to Coulson as he collapses to the ground.

“Phil, no. No, no, look at me. Hey,” your hands are frantic as you press them to the wound, pouring blood into his white shirt. 

He says your name, coughing a little, and blood leaks from his lips to spill down his chin.

“I-its's - it's ok. Do-don’t worry,” there's a thumb pressed to your cheek to wipe the tears from your face. You didn't even realize you started crying. 

You feel the sudden onslaught of wind as the hatch opens behind you, but you can't bring yourself to look away from Coulson. The release of hydraulics is loud in your ears and then the release of locks. And you know Thor is gone.

The hatch closes, and it's quiet again. Only your sniffles and the ragged breathing of Phil can be heard.

He turns his head to the side, “you're gonna lose,” his voice is weak, and you look behind you to Loki. His face is impassive as he looks down at you and Phil.

“Am I?”

Phil takes a labored deep breath, “it's in your nature.” his hand grabs yours and holds on loosely.

Loki scoffs, “your heroes are scattered, your floating fortress falls from the sky. Where is my disadvantage?”

“you lack conviction,” you say, and you and Phil fire the massive weapon at Loki. He goes flying back through a window as debris falls on him.

“so, that's what it does.” his eyes come back to you, and he blinks slowly.

You take the earpiece from his ear and put it in your own, “Agent Coulson is down, I need medical assistance in detention bay 2. Repeat Agen-”

“I'm on my way,” you hear Fury grunt. 

“Sir,” you choke out, trying to keep Phil awake. He smiles weakly up at you.

“Nightlight, you alright up there?” Tony's voice comes through the comm in your ear.

“Yeah, just. I'm fine,” you give Coulson a light slap on the cheek. “Stay with me, don't close those eyes, mister.” 

Coulson gives you an affirming hum.

There's a rush of footfalls coming behind you, and you turn with a relieved sigh, hoping it's Fury and the medics.

“Hey! Get off me! No!” Rough hands grip your arms and haul you up and away from Phil, and all he can do is plead with silent eyes. “Phil!” 

“What's happening, Agent?”

“Nightlight! Talk to us!”

“Get off m- ah!” There's a sharp pain to the back of your head, and your vision starts to go black. The last thing you see is Phil as you pass out.

**

It's opening night at the Stark Expo, and you can't stop fidgeting nervously backstage. Howard notices and places a comforting hand on your shoulder. He had asked you for help in the 'secret SSR lab', your powers made the heavy lifting easy, your knowledge of 'future tech' - Howard likes to call it - helped him finalize the last few projects before the Expo takes off.

Howard managed to convince you to wear a dress tonight. At least it was practical, it has pockets. The blouse was green plaid, and the skirt was a pale beige. He wanted you both to match, but he'd take it. Before you could change your mind, Howard had rushed you out of the house at record speed.

"Relax, kid," he fixes his tie a little, "everything's gonna be fine. You're gonna do great. I'll be there the whole time."

You fidget again, running your hands down the front of your dress, then the bracelet around your wrist Howard gave you before arriving at the Expo. The single jewel adorning it was the same color as the crystal scar on your chest. You nearly broke down into tears when he presented it to you.

"You're the sister I never knew I wanted - or needed - it's just a small thanks," he said it so nonchalantly, like it was an everyday thing. You shoved him and then pulled him in for a bone crushing hug. Howard was definitely the brother you never knew you needed as well. And you hope he knew that, too.

"Why can't you just get one of the girls to introduce you? Isn't that what they're getting paid for?" You gripe. Crowds were not your thing. Public speaking was certainly not your thing.

"I feel like I'm gonna pass out."

Howard rolled his eyes, grumbling about you being overly dramatic. He shoved the speech in your hands for last-minute prep.

You can feel your palms begin to sweat just thinking about giving the opening speech for the Stark Expo. A few hundred people would be out there. Watching you.

"Oh, God." You can't do this. What were you thinking? You didn't thrive in the limelight like Howard. You didn't have Tony's charisma with the media. You can't go out there and talk about the Expo and the things Howard and the other brilliant minds of this age hope to achieve by being here.

Howard knocked your chin with his knuckles, placing his top hat on his head, "Don't stress about it, kid. Just let me do all the talking," he gave you a wink.

You could hear the music flare off and end, the girls on stage finishing their routine, one calling and introducing Howard.

He raised his eyebrow at you in a 'See? I took care of it' kind of way. You let out a huge sigh of relief. The weight of the last few hours stress falling away and off your shoulders. There were cheers and applause so loud you could barely hear anything else from backstage, so you pear out the curtain just in time for Howard to smooch one of the girls on stage.

When he pulls away, he give her a sly wink, then sees you roll your eyes at him on the side stage. He was a natural on stage, he speaks about the flying car Stark Industries was hoping to manufacture for the future. You had some input, having worked with Tony on his Iron Man repulsors, but left out some core details about it.

Howard may have grumbled about you withholding information, but eventually let it go.

There definitely weren't any flying cars in your future. Just as fast as the car on stage started hovering, and gasps of awe could be heard in the crowd, the repulsors short circuited, and it came crashing down.

"Well, I did say a few years, didn't I?" Howard tries laughing it off, but you see the tick in his jaw. There was still applause and cheers, Howard smiled and waved.

"Before we move on and you fine folks get to see the rest of the Expo," he continued, he glanced your way, giving you a soft smile. "I'd love to introduce you to the other brains in the family. The woman who is responsible for over half the things you'll see here."

Your heart leaps, hands wringing together as Howard looks back at you again, hand held out and arm stretched toward you.

"Please give a wonderful welcome to my baby sister. You might know her, God knows I love her: Charlotte Stark!" There were more cheers and whistles, Howard's bright pleading eyes begged you on stage. And how could you say no now?

With one deep breath, you walked on stage, the bright lights not as blinding as you thought they might be. You focus on Howard, his smile wide as you make your way over to him. He takes your hand, and as soon as he has a grip on you, he twirls you around. And when you stop on the other side of him, laughter bubbles up before you can stop it. Howard laughs with you, and for a moment, you forget about the crowd of people and why you were terrified to begin with. He squeezes your fingers before letting go and resting his elbow on your shoulder. His other hand holding the microphone between you both.

"Charlie, say something nice to the people of New York," the mic points at you, and you gaze out into the crowd. Your cheeks hurt from smiling so wide.

You laugh lightly, head titling to the side, "Somethin' nice," Howard groans, a quiet 'smart ass', you elbow him in the ribs. "Hello, everyone. I'm not very good at public speaking. Howie got all the charm and charisma in the family. But I did get the good looks, so I suppose I won in that deal."

Howard lets out an offended 'Hey!' and you giggle. It wasn't so bad, not with Howard by your side. The two of you work well together on stage. Playing off small banter and getting hollers from the crowd of people felt good. Natural.

After explaining a short summary of what people could expect from the Expo, you and HOward took your leave of the stage, whistles, catcalls, and applause following your exit.

"That was -" grinning ear to ear, slightly breathless.

"Pretty amazing, right? You're a natural kid."

Howard wrapped his arm around your shoulders, and the two of you walked around the surrounding vendors for a few minutes.

"-While men are layin' down their lives? I can do as well as them, and I got no right to do any less." Your heart does a leap against your ribs. That sounded like Steve. Your Steve. As you pull away from Howard to get closer, you see him and Bucky. Disagreeing, or arguing, either one most likely.

"that's the thing you don't get, Bucky. It's not about me."

"Right, 'cause you have nothing to prove," Bucky doesn't miss a beat.

Howard nudges you. You followed his line of sight to see Dr. Erskine a few feet from Steve and Bucky. This must be it, you think. The tipping point. The deciding factor that changes Steves life forever.

"Charlie?" A surprise call of your name flows from Steve. You give him a smile and wave, making your way over to the pair.

"Steve, James," you greet them. "staying out of trouble, I hope?" You eye them.

"'Course, dollface," Bucky says. The hat on top of his head is lopsided, his flirty smirk he gives you go well together. "Can't say the same about Steve, thought," he cuts Steve a glare.

You hum, "I gathered as much." You motion to the faint bruise on Steve's cheek. Poorly covered up with makeup.

He shrugs in response, "He had it coming," you hum again.

"You both look dashing," you say, Steve's clothes are a little too big for him, but they still look nice. Bucky's wearing his army greens. He's very handsome, you have to admit. "Sergeant, huh?" You flick the medals adorning his breast pocket.

"My last night, doll," he responds. There's a flash of something behind his eyes. "You should come out dancin' with us."

"Hey, Sarge! We gettin' sodas or what?" you all turn to see two girls waving at BUcky. His cheeks turn red.

He clears his throat, "Yeah, we are," he begins to walk away. Before he gets too far, he turns back to Steve, "Promise me you won't do anything stupid before i get back?"

"How can I? You're taking all the stupid with you."

Bucky signs and closes the distance between them, They hug each other tight. "You're a punk."

"You're a jerk."

It seems too intimate for you, not meant for your eyes. But they part. Bucky looks to your arms spread wide. You step up into his embrace, arms wrapping around his neck as his circle your waist.

"Thanks for that dance, Sarge," you whisper in his ear. When he pulls away, you kiss his cheek. "Be safe over there, y'hear me?" You try not to choke on the words, knowing his future and what's in store for James Buchanan Barnes, almost makes you want to tell him.

Tell him it only gets worse from here. War changes people. This war changes two best friends for the foreseeable future. Fate twists and takes them and makes these two best friends completely different people on the other side of the century.

"Anything for you, dollface," Bucky says in the space between you.

"Don't win the war until i get there," Steve tells him. You loop your arm with Steve's as Bucky backs away. His hand comes up to his hat, and he gives a flirty salute. Then he's turning and joining the girls that were waiting for him. You think one asks if he was really friends with Howard Stark's sister.

"So, what now, Tough Guy?" You ask Steve, the both of you still staring off at Bucky's retreating form.

"I've got something I need to do first," he begins to walk further into the recruitment office.

"I'll wait for you out here, okay?"

Steve shakes his head, "You don't have to do that, Charlie, really. I'm sure you have better things to do than spend your time with me."

You scoff, "No offense, Steve, but shut up." His eyes go wide. "I like hangin' out with you, dummy. We may not have known each other very long, but you're my friend. Whether you like it or not. Got it?"

Steve stares at you for a good minute, blinking slowly. He smiles small and then nods. "Yeah, okay." As soon as Steve is out of sight, you search for Dr. Erskine. You find him around the corner.

"Doctor," you greet him, he turns to you, surprised, "I know about your plan. Let me join the SSR. Please. I feel like I need to do this."

"My dear," he gives you a knowing smile, "It's not up to me. Why not talk to your brother about this? Surely, he could just bring you along like before. Mr. Stark hardly takes no for an answer. Which I'm sure you are well aware of, yes?"

You laugh, "Of course. I'll uh - leave you to it, then."

**

[anomaly-hivemind]

An Unlikely Pairing

Summary: What happens when a bimbo alien forgets how a gas station works? Well, a motel owner comes to help her of course.

Tags:  Human/Monster Romance, Body Worship, Crack Treated Seriously,  Fluff and Smut, Why Did We Write This?, Human/Monster Society, Femdom, Older Man/Younger Woman, Age Difference, Woman on Top, Tentacles, Oral Sex, Shameless Smut, Porn With Plot, Mildly Dubious Consent, Food Metaphors, Food Kink, Loss of Innocence, Corruption, large cock, Overstimulation, Aphrodisiacs, Anal Sex, Tentacle Play, We Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Service Top, Cock Worship, Dacryphilia, Alien/Human Relationships, Alien Character(s), Alien Sex, Food Porn, bimbo, Sex Is Fun

It was midday at an old common area gas station in the middle of nowhere. (Sheetz) A blue-skinned woman stepped out of her twenty-thirteen Toyota Corolla. She was in desperate need of some gas so she could get to the juice bar she had ridden almost thirty miles to, on the notion of their killer deal: buy one kelp smoothie, get half off on a freshly made avocado toast.

She fixed her thick-brim shades on top of her head, pulled up her orange workout leggings, and pushed open the doors to the gas station, heading to the cash register.

“Gas for number four, eight gallons. Thanks.” her voice was on the verge of sounding off-putting. She looks the worker up and down waiting.

“Ok, ma’am that will be forty-two, eighty-eight.” the young man spoke through the glass. She sighed and headed them the cash and watched them type some things up and click some buttons. The man gave her the go-ahead that she could go back to her car.

Elizabella saunters back to her car and opens the gas tank lid, but when she turns to the pump, she just stares at it for a moment. Was there a specific nozzle she was supposed to use, was there anything she needed to push first. Even though she had done this process many times she seems to have a constant habit of forgetting how to use the machinery.

“I need some assistance, pretty lady.” An older man walked up to her and leaned on the gas pump. From where he stood, she got a full look of the stature of the male: he had no hair, a dad-bod stomach, blue eyes, wrinkles on his forehead and the corners of his eyes, and he was leaning on the short side of most dudes who were his age. He wore a fitting purple suit that in a few places looked a little too tight on him.

“Yes, thank you.” Elizabella let out a full giggle and she moved to the side to give him space to help her. He just grabbed one of the nozzles and inserted it into her car.

“How many gallons you put in this beut’.” He spoke and she could hear his thick accent from somewhere she didn't know.

“Eight, where are you from?” she asked casually. She looked down at her left hand and played with the suckers on her arm/tentacle.

His eyes drifted down to her “arm” that she played with and as she waited for him to speak, he wanted to know what she used it for.

“New York. What about you?” he spoke flatly and absentmindedly, clearly distracted.

“Oh, I'm out of this world.”

“You're telling me.”

“Yes, that's what I just did silly.” She let out another laugh. He let his face show a quick expression of confusion.

“Where are you heading too?” He fixed his face and turned to the monitor to see what the number was on and how much was left before he would have before he started going over her paid limit.

“I'm going to a juice bar; they have a great deal.” she let out a soft squeal for her a deep desire for those succulent kelp smoothies and avocado toast.

“Ah, that's nice. Ya know, I know some ingredients that make a pretty good smoothie.” Paul said with a smirk on his face.

“Oh, for real, you wanna tell me?” Elizabella said leaning in closer to Paul as she batted her eyelashes curiously.

“I could do Ya one better, I could teach you how to make it yourself.” he raised his eyebrows, and let his eyes wander over her slightly.

“Oh. My. Gods. You’d do that for me!”

Paul cut the gas nozzle off and put it back where it belonged.

“Thank you for the help…”

“It's Paul.”

“Thanks, Paul.”

She walks over to her car door and starts the car. The engine gives a loud rumble before it sounds like it's choking on oil. She turns the keys again, but the hood slams open onto the windshield. Glass from the windshield trickles into the vehicle and Elizabella brushes it off. The car begins to smoke.

Elizabella screams and quickly snatches up her fuzzy purse before ducking out of her car.

“My car, how am I supposed to get to those heavenly deals now!” her brown eyes began to have water pool out of them.

“What am I going to do now!” she looked up at the rising smoke as she started to sniffle lightly.

“Are you alright? Paul looks between her and the now burning car and leads her away from it.

“No, I just wanted my smoothies and toast! That car was really special to me; the first time I got dicked down, sexy style while in this car.” She cried tears slipping down as she walked to her damaged trunk and pulled out the remains of a skeleton dressed in a Gucci scarf and Prada sunglasses. She takes the items off of the corpse's body and puts them on herself. She even tosses the glasses that she was wearing before and puts them on the skeleton. Then closed the trunk and walked back over to Paul.

“Oh-k…” he didn't expect her to say that. "Well, if you still wanna go to that juice bar I can give you a ride… ;) a real smooth ride."

“Thanks so much, pal! You’re a real gem!”

Paul called a towing company to move Elizabella’s car and they waited in Paul’s for the truck to come. After the truck came… ;) They started heading to the Juice bar, fittingly titled Get Juiced.

“So, how do you make that juice you talked about earlier?”

“Here, my number’s xxx-xxx-xxxx; whenever you get the craving to have the smoothest, creamiest smoothie of your life, give me a call.”

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Elizabella looked down at her phone, (a cracked-up iPhone 7s) while she looked at the text chain between her and Paul. The texts filled up that most people would call sexting.

She started to read them over again, just to see how this convo had even started.

Paul: Why don't let me drive you over here so you can try that smoothie I was talking about. ;D

Elizabella: [inserts an address]

Elizabella: Really, I WOULD LOVE THAT HOW ABOUT NOW. Tell me more about it while I wait. :D

Paul: Trust me, the milky texture will make it well worth the wait, it’s plenty filling as well so you won’t need anything else… not that you’d want anything afterwards.

Elizabella: What's that mean… Is it something like a protein shake? It sounds fun!

Paul: Nah Doll, it’s premium, nice and thick and robust. Special treat passed down the family, like the family jewels.

Elizabella: I almost can't wait. but I’m waiting right now. lolz

Paul: Oh, it sure is going to be fun and it'll be even more fun in person.

Elizabella: I hope it comes with that creamiest smoothie you were talking about.

Paul: You bet it will if you pull the right cards.

Elizabella: I'll be sure to pull the right ones. I didn’t know you could do magic tricks though!

Paul: Yeah, I got some magic in my pants ;)

Elizabella: Ooh will you do that one card trick on me? I’m so excited I can’t wait! Well, I will wait.

Paul: I won't keep you waiting any longer. I'll honk for you when I get there.

Elizabella: See you soon!

____________________

The honking sound let Elizabella know that Paul was outside for her. She walked out wearing a fancy silking cover-up for her blackish leggings and matching crop top. She walked over to the black Audi in her driveway. When she walks out Paul gets out of his car and walks to the passage seat to open the door for her. He takes the chance to look her up and down.

She gives him a soft thank you as he sits on the fuzzy grey cushions. He goes back to his seat and backs out of the driveway.

Paul places his hand on Elizabella’s thigh and gives it a subtle squeeze. He runs his fingers up and down her thigh as he drives down the quiet road as they listen to the CDs on the radio. The songs played in the background were along the lines of Mint condition-breakin’ my heart, Jodeci-freek’n you, and Digital underground-sex packets.

“I'm taking us to the high-class motel that I own. You'll get full access to all of my complimentary amenities.” he ran his hand up her inner thigh as he spoke and gave her a playful-looking smirk.

“Really, that's so nice of you!

Eventually, they come to a stop at a slightly populated motel and park in one of the reserved lots. Paul hobbles over to the passenger door and opens it for her. She wraps her arm around his and lets him lead her into the lobby area.

He unlocks an oak door with a shiny golden plate. Pushing the light switch up gives Elizabella a full view of the room. The room had a king-size bed with nightstands on both sizes that faced a flat-screen TV, a mini-fridge, a connected bathroom, and two single-person loveseats. Along a small table/desk area.

“This place is nice; don't smell like roaches or nothing.” Elizabella looked around the room in awe at how spacious and welcoming the interior looked.

“Yeah, thanks, angel.”

“Alien.”

“Huh,” he looked at her, confused while she looked at herself.

“Never mind.” she shook her head slightly.

Paul strips from his white button-up and takes off his belt to his khaki pants and his black consul shoes. (Church shoes)

“Let me take this off of you.” he traced his hands on her shoulder and slowly took off her silk coverup as he trailed it off her arms.

“Thank you, your so kind.” she giggled.

He placed the cover-up on a nearby chair. He walks back over to Elizabella and rests himself between her shoulder and neck, pulling her into a half hug from behind. He pushes himself into her lightly and keeps his hand planted on her side.

“You truly are one of a kind.” he traced his hand up her tentacle arm, feeling up the slimy texture of it. He felt a shiver run up her body at the foreign touch of someone else. She was usually the only one who touched it, so the feeling was weird and new to her.

“Literally, I don't think there are many people out there like me. Or any people for that matter.” Elizabella said while giving a small smile. “So, let's get to making this smoothie! I’m totally excited!”

“Of course. To get that lovely creamy consistency, you have to get this white sap from an extraordinary fruit.”

“And you have it? Where is it? Can I see it?” Elizabella said, her eyes gleaming with excitement and curiosity as she instinctively leaned closer to Paul.

“Oh, you can do all of that. You can even taste it. You can even taste it.

He runs his hand up the inside parts of her legs. He rubs himself into her bending form. “I'm not sure we can make a smoothie with nothing on the table.” she lets out a loud chuckle as she turns back at the man with a happy smile.

“Don’t worry, we got everything we need in this room.” he gives her ass a gentle slap and lets out a hardy laugh.

“So where is it? Come on, come on, I really gotta know!” Elizabella was practically bouncing in place as she waited in anticipation for the secrets Paul promised to share.

Paul grabbed Elizabella’s hand gently. He slipped his palm to rest against the back of her and as he guided it towards its mystery destination.

“It lies right in here.” Paul slipped his and Elizabella’s hand into his unzipped pants and had her hand rest firmly against his growing erection.

“Oh my gosh! Paul, it’s moving!”

“The more stimulated it is, the closer it will be to releasing the special juice.”

“Wow! You really have magic in your pants; that’s so cool!”

Elizabella bent down to seemingly get a closer look at “Paul’s Fruit.” Her long brown hair slipped over her shoulders.

“So what is this magic mystery fruit called”

“A pocket rocket. Here I’ll show you how to stimulate it.”

Paul slipped their hands from his member and slipped down his pants and boxers. His leg hair stood up slightly as the air-conditioner breeze cooled his freshly bare legs, and his joystick bucked up somewhat as his stiffy grew.

He dragged his hand along his length and gave it confident strokes. He lets out a silent breath at the simple friction.

“Just like this, do you think you can do that?” he spoke softly, clearly beginning to feel the effect of his actions.

“Yeah! I think I can do that; I'm a fast learner.”

She stared at his shaft for a moment before grabbing it with her tentacle arm. He gasped loudly at the slimy feeling and the few suckers that made contact with his skin. She ran her arm painfully slow for his liking. She gave him an unsuspecting squeeze, and he almost choked out a groan. He let his eyes drift over her body as he watched her make him shiver.

She watches the micro-movements he has at her actions as she continues to stare at his phallus with her illuminating eyes. She felt herself lean into him as if she were in a trance. She opened her mouth moderately to reveal another tentacle instead of a tongue; it had fewer suckers on top of the ones that were much smaller compared to those on her arm.

A loud moan escapes Paul at the wet sensation. He quickly looks down at her. She lets her tongue firmly wrap around his tip. He busted right then and there. Yep, you read that right; Her sexy suckers make him bust a nut.

Elizabella reeled back slightly, not the tip of Paul’s rod on her mouth, as hot ropes splurted into her mouth. Paul groaned as he rode out his orgasm, bucking into her mouth slightly.

“Hey, I got that stuff you were talking about,” she said around him, not bothering to take him out of her mouth as she attempted to make coherent words. “It's a funny taste. I like it, though.” She gave him another suck, and he let out a struggling breath as he began to try to pull out of her mouth.

“Give me a second doll.” she let him go with a muffled pop as she looked up at him casually.

“It was super yummy! Can I have some more?” Elizabella asked, her elongated suction tongue licking the remnants from her plump purple-ish lips while she stared at him with glowing eyes.

“I don’t see why I shouldn't give a gift to an eager participant.” he gets himself back up.

Elizabella eagerly grabbed Paul's pee-pee as she was about to take him into her mouth before Paul stepped back.

“Hold on now, doll, I love that enthusiasm. But I know something that will make it even better.”

Elizabella’s eyes shone with a certain amount of wonder and excitement, and she clasped her hands together.

Paul walked over to the mini-fridge and pulled out a perfectly ripe grapefruit. He then sliced it into thirds, cut out a fitting circle in the middle of the fruit, and popped the seat into his mouth. He then ran his hands under the kitchenette sink to rid hands of some of the stickiness. He walked back over to Elizabella and placed the grapefruit into her hands.

She looks down at the fruit and ponders what to do with it. Before she could try and eat, he spoke. “ Put this on me, then do what you did before.”

She pushed the fruit down onto him roughly, then placed her tongue back around his tip as she did before. She moves the grapefruit down his twenty-six inches and backs up a few times half-hazardly.

Paul groaned at the combination of the fruit wrapped around him and the sucking of Elizabella. Elizabella took as much as she could into her mouth and down her throat as she hollowed her cheeks, taking her gobble-down game to a new level in its entirety. It was like she had a second sense for sex, and the level of innocence she brought to the ordeal was a major turn-on for Paul.

Paul felt his knees begin to grow weak, and his eyes rolled back into his head as he let out an out-of-character moan. Elizabella’s long ears piqued up at this; she opened her mouth wider to take in more of Paul’s massive willy, bringing him closer and closer to a second ejaculation.

Paul let out a guttural moan, and his head was lolled back, his face showing the effects of the intense pleasure. His face was heating with the amount of satisfaction he was feeling.

“Aah- haa- fuck. I’m gonna cum.”

Elizabella kept up the pace as Paul’s legs began to spasm as he reached his second climax. She holds his leg in place to stop him from toppling over. She had an incredible sense of strength he didn’t notice, and in the moments of his high, he just didn't seem to care. Elizabella’s eyes widened a bit at the new mix of grapefruit and cum; she used her slobbering tongue to get any drops of it that she found in her eyeliner. Her head was reeling from the saltiness of the semen and the sweetness of the grapefruit that hit her tongue.

Now that Paul had thoroughly come twice, he was ready for Elizabella’s gooey wet wet yummy stinky-like Kraft macaroni and cheese.

He pulled her up and grabbed hold of her chest lightly. He pulled up the crop top to reveal her double-D breasts. He pressed a wet kiss on them. Elizabella licked her lips as she watched Paul trail open-mouth kisses across her collarbone and bahoonga Bahama mama mommy milkers.

“Man, these are some nice tits you got ‘ere,”

He lowers himself and traces more kisses down her body. He takes his time leaving faint marks along her upper half. Every once in a while, he would reset his position when he ran his tongue up her body. He licked at the nubs of her breast and even gave small playful love bites.

He entirely takes off her top and takes off his own right after.

“I don't think I'll be able to get enough of you and this perfect body you got.”

Paul eagerly takes off Elizabella’s black leggings, his cock painfully throbbing at the current lack of attention. He ran a finger down her and felt the tepid moistness on the crotch of her leggings. When pulling the yoga pants down, he noticed that she wasn’t wearing anything under them, which only turned him on more, though what he saw, or more so what he didn’t see, made him go limp. He stared at her womanhood to see she was completely smooth. He felt like he was looking at a Ken doll, and then he remembered all he called her doll and almost scoffed at the thought.

“Why are you staring like that?”

“There’s nothing there.”

“Oh, yeah, I forgot about that. Give me a second.” Elizabella closed her eyes for a moment. She sighed at the thought that she had forgotten something like putting her lady bits back in their rightful placement. He watched as a cloud of sparkles appeared before him and stared at a dripping cunt welcoming him forward. He was awestruck at how he just saw alien pussy appear in front of him.

He settled a cautious finger at her slit and felt up the region slowly. Elizabella let out a phantom sigh at the delightful feeling of Paul prodding at her begging cunt. He put a little pressure on his finger as he stroked up her quim. A shiver crawled through her body. He then pushed his finger into her and started a thrusting pace. She released a pleased hum at the invasion. He touched her inner walls to feel the roughed angles.

He placed his thumb on top of her mound, and her ears jumped slightly. He smirks at his accomplishment of finding her clit so quickly. Giving it lazy rubs in back half circles, Paul listened for the short breaths of desire to know if he was touching her in the right way, for his mind clouded with only thoughts of pleasing her.

Elizabella’s body began to vibrate mildly as her body, and a rising temperature rose. Her face flushed with color, turning her vibrant cyan skin to a fiery magenta. It didn’t go unnoticed by Paul, making his finger numb faintly. He had no idea how he would last if that was her body’s response to pleasure. He wouldn't know how he would last with how magnificent her body was to him.

He added a second finger into her and slowly started his thrusting pace again. He pushed them in deeper before curling his digits. Paul felt around as he thrust his thick fingers into Elizabella’s gushing cunt, looking for her g-spot, or if she had one for that matter, but Paul rationalized it in his mind that she did as she had a clit. In Paul’s mind, her vagina didn’t seem fundamentally different from that of a human’s, aside from its disappearing and reappearance, along with the fact it seemed to be sucking Paul’s fingers in. (it was)

He had a deep urge to lean down and get a taste of the blue alien. The feeling flexed through his body quickly, and it caused him to pull his fingers out abruptly, and Elizabella let out a disappointing whimper at the feeling of emptiness.

Without any forethought, he situated his flat tongue on her wet coochie. He was licking up rough strives across the bundle of nerves. The feeling of Paul’s warm tongue dragging on her made her let out a loud, startled moan.

“Aah-mmf fu-fuck!” Elizabella moaned as she threw her head back, and her thighs tightened slightly around Paul’s head.

He locked eyes with her as he gave her strong sucks at her clit. She wrapped her legs around his head, entrapping him in place.

He raised his eyebrows at the intention of what she was doing. It was something about the way she looked back at him that made his neglected cock twitch. Her brown eyes glowed a bright hue in his direction, and she gave him a mischievous smile.

She stood up from her lying position and patted the man’s head while looking down at him. He looked up at her from between her legs and leaned over him. Her light brown hair fell in front of him, tickling his face whenever some brushed past him.

“Switch with me, will you.” Her voice dropped into a more sensual and commanding tone when she told him, her hand on his chest pushing him back onto the plush bed.

Paul gulped as his dick grew harder at her sudden change in demeanor. This was unlike anything he had ever experienced with a woman. He was usually always the one in command, and the change in positions had been unexpected as she had been so submissive.

Elizabella let out a small giggle at his reaction, and her brown eyes now glowed with a particular golden hue. “I want all your creamy delicacies right in here, so be a good boy and try to hold on for me, okay.” Elizabella pressed a tender and slow kiss onto Paul’s thin lips before lining herself up and sinking down on his cock.

“Haa- haa- oh my gosh hmm.” Paul lets strangled breath at the fierce insides of Elizabella’s cooter scooter.

Elizabella bounced up and down on his full twenty-six inches, her hips rolling with expertise.

As time passed, Paul inched closer and closer before he spilled his load into Elizabella’s warm cunny; hot ropes of cum shot deep inside of her, and her body grew warm at the filling sensation.

She leans into him and goes into a messy kiss with Paul. She shoves her long tongue into his mouth; her tongue pulls at him as the small suckers pull their muscles together.

“Mmh, yes! Fill me more- I- aAh! Want more of your secret sauce!” Elizabella moaned, her body vibrating gently, the pulses going straight to her groin, pulling an additional orgasm from Paul, pumping more thick jizz into her.

As time passed, Paul came over and over again; his body became increasingly overstimulated. But Elizabella continued with her same vigor, even after an hour.

“Fuck. It’s too much." Paul said weakly, his voice sounding effectively fucked out.

“Aw, come on; I’m sure you have a few more in you.” She pouted as her hips still rolled against Paul’s. She paused for a moment before the same mischievous gleam came back into her eyes.

“Here, let’s try a different method.” Elizabella regretfully lifted herself off Paul’s dick and placed herself on her knees in front of him. She snaked her arm on Paul’s back, making him shiver.

She let the slimy appendage coat his backside in its viscous liquid. She leaned on him and placed her tongue on the slit of his manhood, thick saliva dripping down onto his shlong and running down between his sumptuous, juicy asscheeks.

The liquid made Paul’s man meat buzz with a certain warmness, different from the feeling of being inside Elizabella’s macaroni pot. It was like the first time he had taken Viagra; Elizabella’s tentacle tongue's sexy secretions brought Paul’s ding-a-ling back from the dead!

It was a great feeling being inside Elizabella, but it was a whole new sensation when she was inside you. Her member/tentacle (yeah, you read that right, member) slipped into Paul with ease, thanks to her oozing secretions.

Paul’s succulent bootyhole (not a whole, Anomaly, a valve) excuse me, Paul's succulent boot valve puckered around Elizabella’s tendril flexed in his anus, the tip massaging his smooth prostate.

From the angle of her tentaculum, her sucker landed on his ball as they attached themselves to the man above her. His legs buck into her at the feeling of them. “Hah- shit, I’m gonna cum.” Paul moaned out; Elizabella’s eyes lit up in excitement at his words; swooping down like a bird of prey, she took his pecker into her mouth.

Her appendage wraps around Paul’s Weiner with ease, her head bobbing and tongue constricting in tandem.

The combination was deadly, a fatal blow dealt away with Paul’s control, and he blew his load into Elizabella's mouth. After he got Elizabella to unlatch from his knob, he let himself catch his breath, whipping away the beads of sweat that had collected on his extra shiny head. As The Throat-Goat-Goddess Elizabella guzzled down the remaining cum in her mouth, she and Paul looked at his magic wand to find that it was still unbelievably hard.

“There’s only one thing to do now… ride you ‘till the sun comes up.” (Which is really how this writing process has gone for us.)

Elizabella sinks her body back onto Paul; she throws her head back in ecstasy at the familiar feeling of the fullness and the stretch of her gorilla grip punani. The sounds of wet slaps fill the space as Elizabella rides him in reverse cowgirl, her plump ass squishing against Paul’s pelvis as she comes down.

Paul let out a whimper, and tears rolled down his face at the intense pleasure he was feeling. Elizabella’s muff was the perfect amount of firm grip and gooey plush walls, and she had inserted her tentacle arm back into his anus and stimulated his prostate. “Ugg- Fuck, I feel it; Imma come-”

“Hold on! I’m aAh hah- I’m so c-close! Hah shit.” Elizabella moaned out. She took her titty in her free hand, groping it gently and pinching her nipple lightly, rolling it around in her fingertips.

“Mmhf- your big little Paul is sOo g-good! And your juice is so tasty A-aaH! Fuck, I love it so much, it’s so hgh- good!” Elizabella let out her needed release, and a wave of calm washed over her as she clenched around Paul, her vagina gushing, sending him into his own orgasm.

Paul came again a strained, as he was milked of the last seed. He caught hold of the woman that was dominating him just a minute ago as she fell asleep on top of him. He leaned back into the bed frame as he pulled out of her slowly. They lay in Paul’s king bed as Elizabella snuggled against the full frame of Paul’s body.

He was about to enter the realm of sleep with the alien beside him. The Post Nut Clarity hit Paul like a freight train. It had been a long time since he had such a good climax, and numerous of them had undoubtedly affected him. Reaching his peak and then even higher was a new experience for Paul and had a mind-numbingly strange effect on him.

For starters, it looked like ten years of age had been knocked off accompanied by a couple of pounds, taking him from beer gut to rippling abs hidden under a softly chiseled dad bod. By far, though, the most significant difference was he had hair on his head; he was no longer bald. Sadly, it wasn’t a luscious mane like he had in high school when he peaked, but he could work with it. It must have been a side effect of getting fucked by an alien.

[hanniiesuckle17]

Stray Kids Reaction: S/o Going/Is Vegan

A/n: So this was a little cracky but I hope you all like it! (sorry not thoroughly edited) lets be honest the boys have probably been on weird diets so they would probably be chill with it....except for Changbin....cause he loves his meat

Requested by: anonymous 

Tag List: @distrikt9​ @mini-meanhoe​ @poeticallyspaghetti​ @hanstagrams​ @desertofdessert​ @yangomangos​ @hoes4hoseok​ (Tag List is Open)

Chan:

“You’re what now?” 

Your boyfriend asked flopping on the couch. He had come home to you cooking in the kitchen, a new smell filling your apartment. “Vegan.” The asparagus you were sauteeing in a pan smelled incredible...-to you. The substitute butter sizzled around the vegetables. “I noticed I haven’t exactly been eating well with my classes piling up. So, I thought I would just change my diet.”

Chan nodded and walked into the kitchen. You held up a spoon to his mouth letting him taste the food. His lips closed over the metal utensil and you watched him chew. His eyes popped out of his head and he nodded. “It’s so good!” You slapped his hand away from getting more. “Well, you know I’m all for a healthy lifestyle.” 

Chan helped you finish cooking and the two of you sat down to eat. He watched with a smile as you poured yourself a glass of wine and took a sip. You met his stare and smiled. “What?” 

“Did you check if that wine was vegan?” 

You froze, fork halfway to your mouth. “Isn’t all wine vegan?” 

“No,” Chan said with a laugh, sipping on his own wine. 

Grabbing the bottle you scanned every inch of the label. Chan tried to stifle his laughter, creating ripples in red alcohol sitting in his glass. Sighing, you set the bottle down and pushed your glass away making Chan laugh.

“Welp...I don’t know what I’m going to do with the other three bottles I bought.”

“There are cheat days for vegans too.” He wouldn’t stop laughing the rest for the remainder of dinner.

Minho:

“I’m starving; are we there yet?” Minho asked adjusting the cap on his head. 

Your hands swung between the two of you as you strolled through the streets looking for the food district. You had been shopping all day and it was well past lunch. “Should be just around the corner.” Each of you carried bags from various stores, but you felt happiest that his hand was wrapped around yours. 

After a few turns, you arrived on the street full of restaurants. Your eyes scanned the signs looking for something suitable for you to eat. Minho began pointing at random restaurants, delectable aromas floating from their dining rooms. “What about sushi?” 

“Meat.”

“Burgers.”

“Meat.” 

“That place.”

“It’s korean barbeque, babe.”

“YES! The best kind!” You laughed and pulled him further down the savory smelling street. “What about that place?” You shook your head seeing photos of meat-based dishes on their windows. “Y/n, can we eat in the century?” 

Minho trudged behind you, failing to pull you towards a pizza place. “Minho, you know I’m vegan.”

“Yes, I know. You’re a rabbit. But, I want meat.”

Changbin:

“Aren’t you hungry, baby?”

Changbin’s long fingers maneuvered the chopsticks to flip over a few pieces of meat on the grill in the middle of the table. You hadn’t been dating for long. He had invited you to meet him and Chan for dinner and you were not about to pass up time with him. “Um...a little.” 

You watched Changbin and his friend happily chew on the juicy meat. He didn’t seem to notice your visible gulp and the goosebumps crawling over your skin. You were doing your best to ignore the distinct smell of the barbeque. “You want some?” He held a perfectly cooked piece out to you.

“Uh-...no thanks. I’m good. I’m actually vegan.”

Changbin stopped mid-chew. He turned to Chan before looking back at you. “Wait...what does that mean?” Changbin looked genuinely confused, his cheeks still stuffed with food. Chan apologized, flagging down a waiter and asking for something for you to eat. Meanwhile, Changbin still staring at you completely clueless.

“Dude...she doesn’t eat meat or animal products.”

“YOU DON’T EAT MEAT?” His eyes went wide in utter disbelief. It was hard not to laugh. “How do you survive?” 

“It’s actually a really healthy way to live. Plus it’s better for the Earth.”

“But.....meat...” You smiled watching him stare at the plate of vegetables being placed in front of you by the waiter. “Meat....” He whispered again, looking between the grill and you plate.

Hyunjin:

“Y/n, do you have food?” 

Your boyfriend was calling out to you from somewhere in the dressing room. You looked down at the bag of baked veggie chips in your hand. “Yeah! I’m over here, love!” Hyunjin shuffled over, his hair pushed back by a headband and setting powder lining under his cheekbones. “Baked snacks for a baking boy.” You said with a laugh. 

He smiled sitting next to you. He reached over stuffing his hand in the bag and stuffing a few in his mouth without even looking at what it was. You watched his face melt into disgust. “Ew. What is that?” 

Handing him the bag he looked at it like it was something from an alien planet. “It’s baked carrots and other vegetables.”

“Yes....but why....”

“You do remember I went vegan like two weeks ago?”

Hyunjin stared at you for a minute seemingly trying to remember the conversation you had about thirteen days ago. “Wait- so what did you do with the candy I gave you yesterday?” 

He watched you shrug and look around the room. “I gave it Jeongin.”

“You just gave it to Jeongin?”

“Yeah, I can’t have it. I’m serious about this diet.” Hyunjin nodded and continued to stare at the bag of chips in your hand. You were starting to think he had spaced out on you. 

“Does all your food taste that bad?” 

Jisung:

“What’s for lunch, baby?” 

Jisung came up behind you, wrapping his strong arms around your waist. His chin rested on your shoulder as he smiled down at your working hands. “Avocado toast with Roma tomatoes, red onions, and a vegan mayonnaise spread.” 

“That sounds like heaven.” Jisung moaned behind you. 

“It really doesn’t bother you that I’m vegan?” He shook his head and stole a thin slice of the avocado you were cutting. 

“Not really. I mean-... I miss sushi sometimes...and cheesecake. But, I can have all those things at work or on special occasions. I don’t want to argue over a silly thing like this when you are obviously such a good cook regardless.”

You laughed and kissed his lips, backing him up against the counter. Jisung smiled, hands gripping your waist. “You really love me that much?” He nodded and kissed you again. “More than cheesecake?” 

“Sadly...yes.” 

You giggled, playing with the ends of his hair. “Okay, time to eat.” 

Jisung cheered and watched you expertly plate the food. Your hands nimbly worked on delicately placing the avocados atop the other ingredients on the toasted bread. The two of you sat down side by side plates in front of you. You watched Jisung take the first bite, like usual. His eyes lit up before devouring his first piece of avocado toast. 

“Don’t tell Felix...but you’re a better cook than him.” You laughed and lovingly placed your hand on his arm before eating your own lunch.

Felix:

“What are we thinking for dinner tonight?” 

Felix was looking at a shelf further down the aisle from you. Turning back, he watched you shrug. “Um...I don’t know. What about we make vegan burgers?” Beneath the mask Felix was wearing you were certain he was smiling brightly. 

“That sounds good.” He rolled the cart back over to you, tossing a few things in your cart on the way. 

“We could do portabella mushrooms for the patty. Ooo! Do they have avocados?” 

Felix laughed, watching you get excited about food. He was so happy that you loved cooking as much as he did. While he was surprised that you were vegan, he loved exploring new recipes with you. He was still shocked that he could now make so many things that didn’t even have meat or cheese or eggs. 

“Lix, they have red onions on sale! Buy two get one free!” 

His eyes widened seeing you holding two bags of the purple vegetable. “The question is,” Felix began, taking the bags and putting them in the cart. “Do they have vegan cheese here, or do we have to make a second stop?” 

You shrugged, looping your arm through your boyfriend’s as he pushed the cart towards the cheese part of the store. Felix smiled at your little affectionate action. Going grocery shopping with you was always one of his favorite things to do. Granted, it took a huge chunk out of his paycheck because the two of you always got carried away. But, your fridge was always fully stocked and the two of you hadn’t had a bad meal since moving in together. 

“They might have some. I did see a cool recipe for vegan brioche buns. I think we have the stuff for them at home.” 

Felix nodded and pushed the cart towards the checkout. The two of you waited in line, your arms wrapped around his stomach. “I’ll bake, you cook?”

“Deal.”

Seungmin:

“So, you don’t eat meat?”

Seungmin stared at you questioningly. You simply continued to drink your tea as you sat across from your boyfriend in a cafe. “Or cheese. Or eggs. Or milk. Basically any animal products.” Seungmin nodded, trying to wrap his head around the concept. 

“Not even beef?”

Your fingers played with the label on your cup. “No. No, beef.”

“What about steak?” 

“Min, that’s meat.”

He nodded obviously still thinking. “So...” You sighed, ready for my questions. It was tiresome sometimes having to deal with a society that couldn't accept a diet without dead animals in it. “What do you eat?” 

“Plenty of things. I’m actually a pretty good cook.” Seungmin sat on the edge of his chair completely invested in this fascinating topic. “I can make basically any meal you can think with a vegan substitute.” 

“Anything?” Your boyfriend watched you nod. Seungmin took another sip from his coffee. His long fingers drummed across the table. “What about surf and turf?” He laughed seeing you roll your eyes. 

His laughing stopped when you kicked his shin under the table. “You better watch it Mr. I’ll sneak into the dorm and stuff zucchini in your ears.” 

“Not carrots?”

“No, I like carrots.”

Jeongin:

“No meat. At all?” 

Jeongin stared stunned at the bowl in front of him. “Yep.” The metal of his spoon clinked against the white bowl. Unphased you continued to eat the amazing meal you had prepared.

“So...what is this? What are those dark chunks then?” 

“It Eggplant, mushrooms, tofu, and rice noodles in a spicy Szechuan sauce. It’s good. Try it.” 

It was almost comical watching Jeongin approach the dish. He sniffed the food on his spoon, a cautious look on his face. Hesitantly, he took it into his mouth and began chewing. You watched his facial expression waiting for the result. 

Your boyfriend swallowed the food, pursing his lips, and nodding his head. “Okay, so it’s good. But, that says more about your cooking than it does about vegan food.” 

The two of you enjoyed the rest of your dinner and Jeongin even helped you clean up. As you finished up washing the dishes you noticed Jeongin looking in your fridge. “Are you still hungry?”

He shook his head when he felt you hug him from behind. “There isn’t even cheese in your fridge!” 

“Jeongin...that’s what vegan means.”  

Jeongin still seemed to be searching your fridge for what he now knew would not be there. Still hugging him you watched as he opened up your freezer. You backed away, ears splitting from the high pitched scream your boyfriend let out. 

“WHERE’S YOUR ICE CREAM?!”

Requests are Temporarily Closed!

Masterlist

[shananigans402]

1-65 will do, please. Thanks fuck face :)

I knew exactly who this was and I was so tempted to not reply, but your punishment is having to read through all my answers and remember them forever or you fail the friend test. To everyone else, please do not click unless you want to be very bored, my answers are not interesting lol

1. Do you ever doubt the existence of others than you? Nope

2. On a scale of 1-5, how afraid of the dark are you? Assuming 5 is the most, 1. Maybe 2. 

3. The person you would never want to meet? The person who sent me this (jk I’m excited for our eventual meet up where we hit up a strip club first thing 🙏)

4. What is your favorite word? I answered with ‘conniption’ the other day and still have not found a word I like more.

5. If you were a type of tree, what would you be? Already answered this, fruit tree! I also like palm trees, maple trees, and willow trees. I know that’s not the question, I’m just saying random shit now.

6. When you looked in the mirror this morning what was the first thing you thought? It took me a long while to remember where I was this morning. I honestly don’t remember, I was rushing to get ready for an early morning meeting.

7. What shirt are you wearing? My Orlando Strong shirt 

8. What do you label yourself as? Lesbian

9. Bright room or dark room? Bright room

10. What were you doing at midnight last night? Sleeping? Possibly checking on a feverish little beeb who was going through it with her second dose of the vaccine.

11. Favorite age you’ve been so far? No idea. I like various ages for different reasons, but this age so far is not bad. 

12. Who told you they loved you last? Probably my sister 🤷‍♀️

13. Your worst enemy? The person who sent this ask.

14. What is your current desktop picture? The apple pic of Catalina island that changes based on time of day (yes it’s the default, don’t judge me)

15. Do you like someone? Lol yeah I hope so 😂

16. The last song you listened to? Pretty Girl by Hayley Kiyoko 

17. You can press a button that will make any one person explode. Who would you blow up? Definitely @raginage

18. Who would you really like to just punch in the face? I feel like I can only attack Raginage so many times. Can I pick a fictional character? This week I was real mad at Dave in The Darkness. BaBe!​

19. If anyone could be your slave for a day, who would it be and what would they have to do? Lol no one, you’re talking to a person who feels very uncomfortable with anyone doing anything nice for them.

20. What is your best physical attribute? (showing said attribute is optional) Not this again. Last time I said eyes? Still no pics, sorry

21. If you were the opposite sex for one day, what would you look like and what would you do? What would I look like? Do I get to design myself like a sim? I honestly don’t know what I’d do because I doubt the world needs another clueless white man walking around, so maybe just stay at home. 

22. Do you have a secret talent? If yes, what is it? Nope. And my last answer to this was awful. I do think I have a fantastic ability to annoy my friends but in a way that’s just amusing/endearing enough to make them still want to talk to me 😌

23. What is one unique thing you’re afraid of? Unique? Uhm well my two big fears are confined spaces and deep water so a submarine is like my worst nightmare.

24. You can only have one kind of sandwich. Every sandwich ingredient known to humankind is at your disposal. Oh this is going to sound so odd. To be clear, I’ve had better sandwiches, but my go-to is provolone, turkey, roast beef, and spicy brown mustard or whole grain mustard. Please don’t judge me.

25. You just found $100! How are you going to spend it? Travel budget for future trips to visit my buds and get into trouble and eat food. I know $100 won’t go far, but it’s something.

26. You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere in the world, but you have to leave immediately. Where are you going to go? Well, after my last answer I want to visit my friends! But there are too many people to visit and I only have one ticket. So change of plans. I’m going on a solo trip to Greece. Or Argentina. Or Iceland. Or Bali. Damn, I’m indecisive. 

27. An angel appears out of Heaven and offers you a lifetime supply of the alcoholic beverage of your choice. “Be brand-specific” it says. Man! What are you gonna say about that? Even if you don’t drink booze there’s something you can figure out… so what’s it gonna be? Rabble red blend. Just a solid red wine. Also because @viola-lloyds stole my answer the other day (Juneshine; to be fair I asked her this question but whatever) and I don’t want to copy her.

28. You discover a beautiful island upon which you may build your own society. You make the rules. What is the first rule you put into place? Oh I answered this one, something about respecting others. Yeah, a nice rule like that. Want to establish some healthy communication on this island.

29. What is your favorite expletive? It’s still fuck

30. Your house is on fire, holy shit! You have just enough time to run in there and grab ONE inanimate object. Don’t worry, your loved ones and pets have already made it out safely. So what’s the one thing you’re going to save from that blazing inferno? But what about my PLANTS. Can they count as loved ones? Probably my laptop, I know that’s lame but like...I have a lot of stuff on here. Or the collection of cards I have that my granddad drew little drawings in, I want to get them all framed.

31. You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be? To be honest, I don’t know if I’d change big life events in case it altered the trajectory of where I ended up. So idk maybe the ending of Bly, let’s give those lesbians have a happy ending!

32. You got kicked out of the country for being a time-traveling heathen who sleeps with celebrities and has super-powers. But check out this cool shit… you can move to anywhere else in the world! Italy! But wait, let’s get back to this sleeping with celebrities and super-powers bit...

33. The Celestial Gates Of Beyond have opened, much to your surprise because you didn’t think such a thing existed. Death appears. As it turns out, Death is actually a pretty cool entity, and happens to be in a fantastic mood. Death offers to return the friend/family-member/person/etc. of your choice to the living world. Who will you bring back? Oh that’s a really tough question. I always wanted to meet my great-grandma Olga because she seemed like a really awesome lady. 

34. What was your last dream about? I can’t remember, this is bothering me because I wish I could! I’m sorry. My gf recently had a dream where I kissed a dude right in front of her. It made us both very uncomfy lol

35. Are you a good….[insert anything you’d like here]? I hate this question because I can only think of one thing.

36. Have you ever been admitted to the hospital? For surgery, yeah

37. Have you ever built a snowman? But of course!

38. What is the color of your socks? Not wearing any? I was wearing blue ones earlier. Jfc my answers are so boring.

39. What type of music do you like? Lots! I tend to listen to indie, classic rock, and some pop

40. Do you prefer sunrises or sunsets? Sunsets!

41. What is your favorite milkshake flavor? Chocolate or a variant (chocolate peanut butter, chocolate caramel)

42. What football team do you support? (I will answer in terms of American football as well as soccer) LA Rams or Seattle Seahawks. I know they’re in the same division. It’s tough. (Please don’t ask me why these teams)

43. Do you have any scars? Yep, mostly from burning myself on ovens. I simply get too excited for my food.

44. What do you want to be when you graduate? I...have graduated? 

45. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be? Well bestie recently said I have “lesbian hands” and I think that’s code for man hands so maybe that hahaha

46. Are you reliable? I try to be!

47. If you could ask your future self one question, what would it be? How many more times will I watch The Darkness before I learn my lesson? (Related: When does other bestie finally admit to her fetish?)

48. Do you hold grudges? Not typically, no

49. If you could breed two animals together to defy the laws of nature, what new animal would you create? A dog and an otter? Can we domesticate otters? No, a horse and a large bird, create a pegasus and then free travel.

50. What is the most unusual conversation you’ve ever had? Oh god. I don’t even know where to start today tbh. Damie and pokemon and cosycon and looming and feet and [redacted] and developing apps for VP. So many fantastic conversations. 

In real life, probably the time I was at a laundromat in Italy and this guy wandered in with a beer, sat next to me and my male roommate, assumed we were a couple, and proceeded to give us bizarre life advice. I wish I could remember more of it, but it was so odd.

51. Are you a good liar? Hmm I’m okay at it I think, that is, I can convince people I’m serious when I’m actually joking. But I don’t like actually lying if it’s not just teasing someone. 

52. How long could you go without talking? Probably a few days if I had to.

53. What has been you worst haircut/style? The haircut I got before studying abroad! It was too short and I was so sad.

54. Have you ever baked your own cake? For a birthday? No. For fun? Absolutely.

55. Can you do any accents other than your own? Not well, no

56. What do you like on your toast? Butter and/or honey and/or jam

57. What is the last thing you drew a picture of? My beautiful depiction of a scene of chapter one of Private Dancer. 

58. What would be you dream car? An electric car of some sort. I don’t know enough about cars tbh

59. Do you sing in the shower? Or do anything unusual in the shower? Explain. Nope but sometimes I’ll play music and dance and maybe softly sing.

60. Do you believe in aliens? Yep! Definitely 

61. Do you often read your horoscope? Almost never unless someone sends it to me.

62. What is your favorite letter of the alphabet? Already answered, A

63. Which is cooler: dinosaurs or dragons? Dinosaurs! 🦕

64. What do you think about babies? What do I think about them? They’re pretty cool. Just tiny little humans. 

65. Freebie! Ask anything interesting you can think of. I was very nice and let you correct your mistake and submit one after the fact:

In your opinion what is the best thing you can cook, like your speciality? My favorite thing to make is pasta, I started making my own sauce and I’d love to make pasta from scratch sometime.

[artxmisery]

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okie dokie i'm a month late to this but WHATEVER time to talk about destiny stuff this will be a not-insignificant length so i'm gonna put the rest under a read more

ok i wanna talk about the vex but there are a few things to get through first quick background on the cosmology of destiny: there are two primordial forces, the gardener and the winnower, representing light and dark respectively. they existed before time and the universe as we know it in a place hereafter referred to as the first garden. in the garden (which is not a garden and not the only garden significant to this post) the two played the flower game. basically a big ol version of conway's game of life. however, they were also not playing the flower game? and just normally gardening in a metaphysical way. but back to the flower game. in the unveiling lore book, the winnower speaks to the player directly and a bunch of this info is from there. conway's game of life resembles their flower game "as a seed resembles the star that fed the flower and all the life that made it." it's not 100% clear whether each flower is a universe of its own or just a nebulous piece of cosmically important information, but the flowers are super important. flowers come back repeatedly as a symbol of the winnower, especially red flowers. another big concept in the grander story of the game is the final shape, i.e. the thing that will conquer the universe and be the last thing that exists as it ends. it's the ultimate following of the sword logic (which isn't particularly important here, basically just might makes right but on magic steroids) and lots of people are trying to be it or figure out what it is. what we, the players, know is that there was a successful pattern in the flower game that always won. in other words, the final shape. in the aforementioned unveiling lore book, we learned that this pattern survived the destruction of the first garden that lead to the creation of our universe. the details of that conflict aren't important here (although i'd recommend reading the unveiling lore book if this is at all interesting to you) but that pattern managed to make it out. for the first however long of the universe, it was basically just an untethered mathematical pattern running around in the quantum foam. as the universe cooled down and coalesced it turned into crystals in the water of comets, which then provided a space for them to become something like life. from there, they fell into the ocean(s) of planet(s) (details on whether they appeared in parallel or just once aren't super clear or conflicting). from here we need to go on a slight tangent to keep talking about the biological origins of the vex. there's this huge company that existed during the golden age called clovis bray, named after the dude who founded it, clovis bray i. basically, this guy is space jeff bezos but arguably more shitty. he wants to become immortal and experimented on his son, clovis bray ii, but ended up killing him in the process. i think you can see how much of an egomaniac he is at this point lol. on the moon, there was a group of scientists that found an anomaly connected to the darkness/winnower (a similar artefact is what we got the unveiling book from) that drove them mad with the signal it was trying to send. clovis gets wind of it, hears the signal and flies off to europa. the signal told him he'd find the secret to immortality there (and he did, sort of). part of said secret was the vex. during the golden age the vex were found/appeared/started existing but they weren't the enemy we've faced in the modern game, they were just curious. clovis steals a vex unit from the ishtar collective on venus (might come back to them later) and brings it to europa. it builds-organizes-forms a gateway to somewhere else. that somewhere else is volantis 2082. clovis goes through the gateway and discovers a solar system entirely converted into a forge. the star is engorged and being sustained with hydrogen in order to make metals. it's surrounded by a bunch of artificial satellite worlds where the vex are n where clovis and co ended up. anywho this is where clovis gets a closer look at the vex. so from him, we've got a more concrete idea of how they got from crystals in comets to the time-travelling robots we know and love. back to the biology stuff. basically the environment the vex evolved in was way earlier than our own, so heavy metals were so rare as to be nonexistent and harmful radiation was way more prevalent. because of this, predators never evolved from the vex. they just kept cooperating and feeding off cosmic radiation and whatnot. to protect themselves, they started making "armour", perhaps some sort of gel membrane initially? but then they started forming it out of silica, which is why their fluid is called radiolarian fluid and milky white. the vex continued to cooperate and developed more and more complex swarm behaviours, signalling different facts with different configurations of cells and structures. they aren't necessary sentient or sapient, but they definitely have cognition and intelligence. their way of thinking is so alien to us as to be undefinable. they also don't have a hive mind, per se, but their pattern is so fully repeated and embodied by each unit and larger mind that they work similarly. anyhow, their silica armour was further adapted into tools and structures ad infinitum, moving on to more durable materials as the collective knowledge of the vex increased. now, the vex don't necessarily have desires or goals or anything of the sort. their entire m.o. is to make everything fit the pattern. because they first evolved from that mathematical pattern from before time, they're able to exist as nothing more than information and then hijack matter to make more of themselves. clovis found this out the hard way, cause the vex started travelling through their calls and messages and stuff (and started infecting people, too). the vex are also extremely adept at simulating stuff since there's effectively no difference between a simulation of their pattern and the pattern itself (this comes up a la weeping angels once or twice). they are so good at it, in fact, that they can simulate nigh-infinite realities within their pattern. the simulations are equally as real as baseline reality and through that (i think?) are able to time travel and hop across timelines. that may be how they ended up in our solar system during the golden age. luckily for us, they're not perfect at it, otherwise, they would have always had won (wheeeee time tomfoolery). originally their goal was thought to be writing themselves into the rules of the universe and while that may still be part of it, they're also basically trying to make everything else vex. we have two examples of them turning whole worlds into vex machines/structures, one of which happened in like three days during the collapse (the darkness armageddon that ended the golden age). their architecture is super cool, highly recommend checking out concept art or in-game footage. the whole vex network spans an incomprehensible distance, although we don't have an exact number on that. they come into systems and build beachheads and pull themselves through space and time into the system. on mercury, which was what got converted in three days, they basically turned the whole planet into a giant simulation engine. they have some ridiculous teleportation technology and their weapons pull energy from distant stars through tiny gates. they've also got weapons like the vex mythoclast that pull energy from alternate timelines/loops of time/whatever. that about covers all the notable info about the vex, but there are some cool stories/places i want to touch on. the black garden is one, which is where the climax of the first game takes us. it's untethered in time and space, basically orphaned off from the rest of the universe. after we kill its heart, it ends up on mars. at some point between the end of d1 and shadowkeep in d2, it got untethered again and we go back for the garden of salvation raid. the black garden is referenced a bunch in some of the more cosmological/mythical lore and is the other important garden i mentioned right at the start. the vex have a bunch of cool stuff on venus, too, like the vault of glass. vog is basically where they test time travel stuff and ontological (i.e. reality-affecting) tech and weaponry. if they ever manage to make that stuff work outside the vault, we're toast. also on venus is the ishtar collective which was mentioned earlier, where a bunch of scientists found that a vex unit was simulating all of them hundreds of times over. they called in a super complex ai to help break out the simulations and those simulations went and explored the vex network and have shown up a couple times since. i'm sure i'm forgetting tons of other stuff, but this is wayyyy too long already. definitely hit me up if you wanna hear a quite frankly ridiculous amount of lore about a fictional universe/race lol anyways. thank you very much for the ask n i hope you enjoyed reading if you got this far

[mariposamagazine]

Manic Pixie Swamp Thing

a short story by Laura Garnica

Leo Torres looked at his Apple watch again, his left foot tapping restlessly on the pavement. He ran a large, clumsy hand through his wavy black hair and glanced up at the rising moon. It gets dark so early now.

6:06.

Should I send a text? He wondered. Nah, I’ll give it another five minutes. She’ll be here.

He fidgeted with the straps of his blue face mask. It took some getting used to, even after seven months of living through a pandemic. Leo worked from home, so he rarely went into public spaces, rarely had to bother with putting one on. He still couldn’t get over the discomfort– it made him think of the face-huggers from Alien.

6:07.

He hoped the other café patrons weren’t getting creeped out. Tall brown kid with a backpack lurking on the street corner, practically sweating with nerves despite the chill October air… and this café was in one of the nicer parts of the city, on top of that. An elderly white lady stared him down and clutched her Chanel purse a little tighter as she passed him on the sidewalk. “Maldita vieja bruja,” he muttered with an eye roll. But Leo didn’t want to get a table without his date; it seemed more polite to wait so that they could go to the hostess together. Or am I just overthinking it?

6:08.

Was this even a good idea? Asking out a girl whose face you’ve never seen? Leo’s friends had given him so much shit when they found out she didn’t have social media.

“How do even you know if she’s cute or not?” Sammy had demanded. “It’s practically a blind date– and she’s already deaf.”

Leo bristled. “First of all, she’s just mute, not deaf. And second, there’s more important things than appearance, dick.”

Sammy and their other roommate, Josh, had crept into Leo’s bedroom during his ASL class yesterday to catch a glimpse of their friend’s mysterious crush. Leo had almost burst a vein when he spotted them in the corner of his screen, their goofy faces peering over his shoulder like a couple of kids, barely containing their snickering. The minute class was over, he stormed into the kitchen to glare at them.

Sammy nudged him with a grin. “Bro, she was the only one wearing a mask in her video. You’re telling me she shows up to virtual class like that, every time?”

Leo shrugged, turning pink.

“I mean, she’s always zooming from this café in uptown, so she kinda has to.”

“What, like she hasn’t had internet at home the whole semester?”

Josh looked up from his phone to add “…it’s a little sus, dude.”

“And her name is… Lilin? Is that some crunchy-granola white girl name? Like did they forget to add the ‘a’ for Lilian?”

Leo couldn’t help but crack a smile at this. It was kind of a weird name.

Josh started laughing– “Ey, maybe that’s the answer, Sam. Maybe her family is the hardcore hippy type– you know, like the ones who believe in chemtrails and don’t even own a microwave or a tv.”

Whatever. She was nice, and she was really sweet when they got paired up in class last week. Besides, she was way better at ASL than him, and she didn’t seem to mind helping him out. She was a good listener, too… although she didn’t offer up much information about herself, so it was a pretty one sided conversation. Have to remedy that today, he thought.

6:10.

A slender girl with silky white-blonde hair that fell to her hips emerged from the crowded crosswalk. Her dark eyes sparked with recognition when she spotted Leo, who began enthusiastically waving an arm in the air in front of Cafe Étude. She wore a burgundy sundress over a black turtleneck and tights, with a black mask made of some kind of silky material. Leo adjusted the collar of his button down nervously.

Hi, he signed.

Hi, Leo. Nice to finally meet you in person, she replied, her spidery hands moving far more deftly than his.

He nodded towards the podium by the entrance of the café, and they walked up to the bored-looking hostess together.

“Table for two?” she drawled. “Sit anywhere you like,” gesturing to the recently expanded outdoor seating, each metal table placed a careful six feet apart from the next, spilling over the sidewalk into the street.

“Thanks,” Leo replied. They found an empty table in the corner of the outdoor seating area nearest to the café itself. Leo slung his backpack off his shoulders and leaned it against one of the table legs, rummaging around for his school binder and lecture notes. He felt her dark eyes watching him even before he resurfaced, arms full of papers and notebooks and his beat up laptop. She had such a curious presence about her… Or I’m just not used to being around new people anymore, he thought sheepishly. Still, Leo found himself reluctant to meet those strange eyes.

I’m glad you asked me to study with you. It’s better signing in person than over Zoom, she relayed. She bent down to gather her own laptop out of her satchel, white-blonde hair falling in a curtain over her face. It was sort of absurd, how long it was. Leo hadn’t seen a girl with hair that long since elementary school days. As she tucked it behind her ear, he got a glimpse of the edges of her mask– it was definitely one of those fancy ones, because it covered every inch of her face below the eyes, and tied behind her ears instead of relying on the usual cheap elastic bands.

What is it? she signed.

Leo felt his face flush in embarrassment.

Your hair. It’s really long.

She didn’t blink. Leo’s hands stuttered.

In a good way! It’s pretty, I mean.

Her eyes crinkled ever so slightly– the barest hint of a smile. She popped open her laptop– an old PC, no stickers– and the blue-aproned waiter returned, hovering over them with a notepad. Leo quickly asked Lilin what she wanted.

“One latte and one iced earl grey tea, please. And uh, some toast, too.” The waiter scurried away, and Leo smiled at Lilin under his mask, before realizing she probably couldn’t tell if he was smiling, either.

He remembered she had mentioned moving to the city recently, and asked her how it had been, transitioning during a pandemic.

It was… okay, she replied, her hands moving much more slowly now. It’s just me, so… there wasn’t much to move.

Oh. Where are you from, anyways? Sorry, I feel like I should know that.

At this she paused, dark eyes boring into him, unblinking.

Very far from here. You wouldn’t know it.

A tense silence formed and began to stretch between them– Leo unsure of how to reply when she so clearly didn’t want to open up.

Thankfully their waiter returned before the awkwardness became unbearable, balancing a plate of toast and their two drinks in small ceramic cups.

“Ah, thank you so much,” Leo called to the waiter as she left their table.

“You mind if I��?” he gestured to his face.

I promise I’m good, I just took a test on Monday (it was negative) and I took my temperature before I came here, he signed.

Lilin nodded, the strange look in her eyes gone. Leo sighed with relief as he removed his cloth mask, folding it neatly in his lap. He smiled nervously. Why was she so cagey when I asked about where she moved from? he thought. He grabbed a slice of toast from the plate and started nibbling on it, flipping through yesterday’s lecture notes. He looked up at the sound of her grabbing her glass of tea, and tried to hide his excitement. Leo tried not to stare as she carefully adjusted the cup a few inches to the right of her laptop. No reveal. She caught him staring and he fixed his face so his disappointment wasn’t so palpable. Lilin said nothing, but he felt like she was smirking at him.

Their study session passed by quickly, Lilin often stopping to ask if he needed help, or creating conversation. He found himself telling her about his siblings back home, his longtime interest in languages, his love of animals. She had very little to say when he asked the same questions of her, but that seemed to be her MO so he quickly gave up on pushing her.

You raised pigs yourself? she asked, her eyes incredulous.

Damn, this really is a good way to practice, he thought as he struggled to convey that the agriculture program was a big deal in a small, rural town like his. Not to mention he grew up on a ranch for half his childhood.

Did you feel bad for them? She asked.

Who, the pigs? Yes. Worst part.

Her eyes narrowed in what was either a concerned frown, or a strange half smile, he couldn’t be sure.

She never took off her mask once, not even to try the toast. By nine, they had covered the entire midterm practice exam.

Cafe Étude began closing up shop, so Leo and Lilin began to pack up their things as well.

How are you feeling about the midterm next week? Lilin signed.

Do you think you still need more practice? If you want to keep going tonight, I don’t mind. She slung her satchel over her shoulders and stared at him expectantly. Leo chuckled nervously.

“Yeah, I definitely feel better about it, but knowing myself, that probably doesn’t mean much. I don’t wanna put you out though, Lilin! It was really nice of you to even meet up with me to study in the first place.”

She stepped closer to him, and the scent of seaweed and ocean brine tickled his nostrils. The city was thirty miles from the nearest beach, but suddenly that didn’t seem to matter in the moment.

It’s okay, Leo, I’m happy to help. You’re very nice. This was a nice study… date.

Leo felt his face burning under his mask. I mean, this was going pretty well but I didn’t think it was going THAT well, he thought incredulously.

He started when he felt a cold hand enveloping his, Lilin trailing her long fingers across his palm. Her eyes, so dark and deep, unblinking on his. It felt like his head was leaving his shoulders, like those strange, lovely eyes were hypnotizing him. He slowly reached towards her ear, hands trembling as he brushed the edge of her mask with his fingertips. Then her hand was around his wrist like a vice, pulling it away from her face with barely restrained force. She let go to sign, her hands moving quickly, urgently.

No, not here. Let’s finish studying at my place? I live alone.

Everything felt so far away, like Leo was watching the scene unfold from the comfort and distance of a movie theater seat. Getting his hands to reply felt like having to wade through deep water.

Okay.

Her cold hand was on his again, and before he knew it the café was far behind, as well as the bustling streets of mid-city. The streetlights became infrequent, their light a dull orange on quiet sidewalks where rows of identical, impassive houses loomed over the couple. Leo didn’t recognize this part of town, it seemed strangely empty. He found that he couldn’t even remember what streets they had taken to get there. Lilin hadn’t let go of his hand since they had started walking, so they walked in silence. That odd scent continued to waft behind her, that briny, seaweed smell. Her hand was so cold and clammy, and even though his was like a radiator it hadn’t warmed in the slightest. Yet still, Leo couldn’t find it in himself to be worried. Her white-blonde hair flowing over her shoulders, those dark, dark eyes. It was enough just to see her, be near her. There was something special about her, he felt.

At last Lilin came to a halt, and let go of his hand to sign we’re here.

It was a bland house similar in style to its neighbors on that long, endless street, converted into apartments, all of which looked empty. Leo realized that there hadn’t seemed to be any places with their lights on since they’d turned on this street.

Lilin rummaged around in her bag for keys, then led him up the porch stairs to the red door on the left. Leo took out his phone to offer some light as she fumbled with the lock in the dark. A harsh scraping sound and then the click of the door being opened– strange, Leo thought. No service out here. He gently tapped her shoulder.

Hey, Lilin, does your phone have service? he signed. She simply stared at him for a moment before stepping into the pitch-black hallway. Leo waited for lights to come on, but they never did– instead, the rusty scrape of a match could be heard, and there was Lilin lighting a candle wall sconce as if it was the most normal thing in the world. But still… something in him told him it was just part of her nature, not to worry. Candle light seemed to suit her better, somehow. Yes, this was how it was supposed to be. He stepped through the doorway into the velvety darkness.

It was cold. The air felt stagnant, like the place hadn’t seen fresh air in weeks.

Lilin blew out the lit match and took the candle she had lit from its sconce, using it to light the other candles scattered throughout the hallway. The flames seemed to duplicate each time one was lit, until he realized that there were mirrors of all different sizes covering the drab walls. It was a rather small foyer with a single doorway at the end. Whatever was beyond that doorway was a mystery; the darkness was a door of its own, obscuring whatever lay beyond their little circle of candlelight. She dropped her satchel to the floor with a thunk, not even giving it a second glance. Once the hall candles were lit, she walked back to Leo and placed the candle in his hand, gently wrapping his fingers around its base.

I want to show you something, Leo, she signed. He swallowed thickly, a nervous smile spreading slowly under his mask. It was cold, but he felt lucky. She chose me, he thought sluggishly.

Lilin reached for the bottom of her skirt and pulled her dress over her head in a quick fluid motion. She tossed the garment into the dark, unlit room adjacent to the foyer. In shock, all Leo could do was continue to stand there holding the candle, staring like an idiot. Lilin moved on to her boots, her tights, and then before he could process any of it, she was naked, save for her mask. Her body was thin, so thin her ribs protruded from her abdomen. Her skin was the same uniform milky paleness, almost translucent in areas that it stretched thinly over her bones. Not a single freckle or mole or distinguishing mark, just that smooth white glow. Almost like the belly of a fish, a thought came to him from far, far away. Her long hair gleamed in the candlelight, sections covering her nakedness like a Renaissance painting.

She walked slowly, deliberately around him till he felt cold, slender arms tenderly wrapping around his waist from behind. Her skin was even colder than the air in the room– it made him shiver, and yet, seeing their reflection in the mirrors around them gave him that strange sense of belonging again– she chose him. He was lucky, wasn’t he? Her hands ran over the front of his jacket, unzipping it, and he felt her chin rest gently on his shoulder.

Leo barely felt the heat of the candle wax that was now dripping down his hand. Somewhere, some small part of him wondered what the fuck was going on. And still, he could do nothing, say nothing… He wanted to leave, but he had to see her face. He had to. Then things would make sense, then he could leave.

“Lilin…”

And then her spidery fingers were reaching behind her ears, the whisper soft sound of the silk ties running through her hair as she loosened the mask. Through the mirror before them, her eyes did not leave his, did not blink. It was so cold, he realized, so cold in that hallway. The flickering candlelight cast strange shadows on the walls and floors, whose spaces between the mirrors he saw were blank and dingy. No photos, no decorations, no windows, either. The wax burning his flesh felt so far away now.

Lilin slowly pulled her mask from her face, the ties trailing against his shoulder, and Leo watched through the mirror with absurd fascination as she revealed an empty black hole where her nose should have been. The skin of her face was drawn tight, like plastic stretched over a skull. A mouth that was like a fresh gash on her face, her lips raw and red and far too long– her smile nearly stretched from ear to ear.

Lilin let her mask fall softly to the floor before wrapping her arms around him again, tighter. Leo found that he could not move. Maybe he hadn’t been able to move this whole time. He couldn’t even move his head to look back at the door. Was there a door to begin with? The memory of the keys and the flashlight and the sound of the lock scraping open felt like memories from another lifetime.

What time is it? Their faces next to one another in the mirror looked almost comical; a study in opposites. His own face, still somehow so calm and relaxed. But there wasn’t anything to worry about, anymore, really.

Lilin’s strange, awful mouth began to move. Those red, raw lips parting to reveal a crimson mouth lined with row upon row of long, thin, glittering teeth.

Teeth like an anglerfish, he thought to himself from far away, with strange amusement.

A voice like a scream, a song like a dirge filled the dark corners of the room.

[stillpartofthisworld]

where to start-Ch 1(TAZ Amnesty)

Now on AO3!

I will be updating this every other Sunday, hopefully. Please yell at me if I don’t.

-----------

They choose Earth.

Well. Duck chooses Earth.

It's not a big decision for any of them-Aubrey follows Dani, Thacker follows his dreams. Mama and Vincent follow their occupations, settling back to defend their home planets from-well, nothing, anymore.

Duck just wants to go home.

He says his goodbyes to everyone, buoyed by the possibility of reuniting-but he's not holding his breath about it just yet. He thumps Vincent on the back, grinning at the goatman, this minister of defense who was too curious for his own good. He shakes hands with Thacker, thanking and congratulating one another for surviving the short while they fought together. "We'll be in touch, Duck," He says, tapping a thin finger to his temple. He doesn't doubt it.

He hugs Aubrey tight, pretending not to notice the tears pricking at the sides of her eyes. "Take care, okay?" He says softly, and she nods at him, smiling. "Don't do anything too crazy."

"Nothing is too crazy! I'm a literal goddess!" She jokes, waving her hands to produce sparkles that settle on both their noses before blinking out. He laughs, mostly to relieve the squeezing in his chest as she grins back at him. God, she's still just a kid, and she's been through so much. He hopes life treats her well.

His laughter dies down as she hugs him again, squeezing him hard and fast. "Take care of Ned's shit, okay?" She says softly. "He'll probably haunt us forever if the Cryptonomica gets shut down."

There's a lump in his throat, but he manages a nod and a squeeze of her hand. "I'll be seeing you soon, you arsonist."

"I was a camper! I was camping!"

"Eh, matter of scale."

Aubrey laughs, and he feels his chest relax.

He turns around and sees Minerva. She's staring at the two portals, a perplexed and thoughtful look on her face. He goes up to her, reaching up and tapping her on the shoulder. "Minerva?" He says, and she turns to face him. "Yes, Wayne Newton?" She replies, her voice booming through the room. "Have you made your decision? Which world shall you choose?"

"Well, the Earth is a bit of a no brainer," He says, gesturing to the dilapidated room shimmering through the space-time-whatever rip. "I mean, I got a cat to feed, rent to pay, a job, you know?" He ticks them off with his hand, one by one. "So as cool as Sylvain is, I can stand being away from it for-uh, a while, as Billy fixes it."

(At the mention of his name Billy perks up, waving and typing out a "Tight, dude," into his voice generator.)

"Hmm! A wise and thoughtful choice, Wayne Newton!" Minerva grins, and Duck manages to smile back at her through the cringe of being called by his first name. "And, uh, what about you, Minerva? Where you headed, hm?" He asks, and her face grows pensive again.

"Well, I am drawn to Sylvain." She looks back at the portal leading to the city. "Its' architecture and magic system are quite similar to my own, you see, and is an interesting enough place for a warrior such as myself." She mirrors his previous gesture, ticking off her reasons with her six fingered hand. All reasons to leave Earth. All reasons to leave him.

He is not surprised-Earth can be pretty boring by anyone's standards, especially an alien's. But it doesn't stop the pang of hurt and fear that flashes through his chest.

But then she looks at him, and her calculating expression softens, for just a moment. "However, I think I shall choose Earth, Duck Newton. I shall be coming with you." She puts a hand on his shoulder. "I think that I would much rather live in a world that has you in it."

He gapes at her for a second, and she hurriedly adds, "And I must taste those frozen waffles once more! They are a delight!"

He chuckles softly at this. "Yeah, I'll make sure we stock up on 'em once we get home."

They smile at each other.

And then they step through the rift.

Mama drives them home, pulling up to Duck's apartment complex after making a quick pit stop for one waffle box, paid for by the loose change that miraculously did not fall out of his pocket. She puts the car in idle as they step out, looking out at the two of them from the passenger side. "Minerva, you sure you dont want to stay at Amnesty for the time being?" She asks warmly. "I ain't got much, but I do have a bed and some hot springs that ya might find to yer likin'."

"Many thanks, Madeline Cobb!" Minerva replies, and Duck sees Mama visibly wince at the use of her full name. At least she got it. "But I will be staying with Wayne Newton for tonight."

He is not sure why she chose to stay with him, only that she did and that he preferred it that way, anyway.

Mama nods, and pulls out of the driveway.

-------

Duck takes a shower first, which leaves Minerva to toast the waffles. She's got the hang of it now-simply rip open the packaging and place the pastry into the double slotted box that Duck calls a "toaster". She pushes the little tab down-gently,gently-and waits. She can hear the pounding of water hitting the tiles from the bathroom. She focuses on it. She'd rather focus on it that on the nothing that clouds her mind, the void where there should be planning for the next battle.

There are no battles to plan. They have won them all.

The waffles pop up.

She's spreading some Nutella on them (a heavenly condiment! what an ingenious use of modern technology!) when she hears Duck come out of the bathroom and head to his room. She looks at the waffles on her plate and, loathe to give them away, puts two new ones in the toaster.

She spreads these ones with honey (Duck's usual choice, though she is not sure why anyone would pass up Nutella) and is just about to enter his room when she hears him saying something.

She peeks in. He's lying on his bed, back towards her and phone in hand. The phone screen is lit up, dancing with colors for a moment before a face comes into focus. It's a familiar face, but not one she's seen in person. It's the face that's on the photos that litter Duck's living room, the one that's smiling with him on his phone screen.

It's the one that she saw encased in glass, eyes closed and mouth slack as they floated in the liquid that was the organic printer.

"Hey, Janey."

Duck's voice is soft, tired. The phone crackles before the woman-Jane, answers.

"Hey hey, Ducky." She sounds tired too. "What's up?" She yawns. "Why're you callin' at 12 AM, doofus?"

"It's 2 AM here, goofus."

"Ah, semantics." She sees Jane smile through the screen. It's very similar to Duck's, all soft with teeth just barely peeking out. "So, what's up? Wildfire or something? I heard about the blockades." Her voice shifts, sounding more awake. "Wait, is something wrong? Your signal is good, did the feds pop up a signal tower again? What's happening over there?"

"It's all good, Jane. Nothing's wrong." Even with his sister's alarm, he's still calm-relieved, even. "Just...just wanted to see your face."

A pause. Then, she hears Jane laugh nervously. "God, Duck, you give me a heart attack sometimes, checking up on me like this," she says. "I'm worried about you, you know? You never used to do this."

Duck is silent for a while, contemplative. "Do you...can you get away for a while?" He asks her, and this time his voice is soft, timid in a way Minerva has never heard him be before. "A weekend. Come visit Kepler. I...I have some things to explain."

She agrees immediately, settling on a date two weeks from now. "I'll see you soon, Ducky," She says softly, and the screen cuts to black.

Minerva hears Duck sigh, and the rustling of a duvet. When she peeks back in again, he is laying on his side, away from the door.

She decides to eat the waffles.

[chaotic-yeet]

every single fucking one yobi

Hey Strawberry, you asked for this

Do you ever doubt anyone else's existence other than your own: Not really no

On a scale of 1-5 how afraid of the dark are you: 5+ I have nyctophobia so it's extremely bad for me

The person you would never want to meet: Does knowing them and no longer speaking count? An old friend of mine, I hope I never see her again

What is your favorite word: I'm actually not sure, I have a few ones I like to say because I pronounce them wrong, but I don't think I have a favorite

If you were a type of tree, what kind would you be: Maybe a birch tree? They're my favorite kind in minecraft sooo

When you looked in the mirror this morning, what did you first think: "Damn I need to wash my face more"

What shirt are you wearing:. A Mammoth one! It's dark gray, has a bear on the back and front chest area, and has blue, pink, and purple fade on it (the bi flag!)

What do you label yourself as: a fuckin bastard or dumbass thats what

Bright room or dark room: I have sensitive eyes so a dark room, but with either soft light or nightlight, I hate complete darkness

What were you doing at midnight last night: Talking to @the-strawzish-clownfish , while being on call with @psychotic-roach he had fallen asleep

Favorite age you've been so far: 13 probably, which sounds weird, but my mental health got better that year (it didn't stay that way but eh)

Who told you they loved you last: @psychotic-roach !! And I love you too (once you read this :D)

Your worst enemy: Myself and an old friend I mentioned in like, question 3

What's your current desktop picture: On my main laptop it's a Marble Hornets fanart (that I adore) and on my Chromebook it's some space doodles in the bi colors

Do you like someone: Fuck yes I do, @psychotic-roach you're fucking great and deserve the world

The last song you listened to: Deku Palace remix! I'm a huge EDM/ Trap fan, combine it with Zelda music and I'm hooked!

You can press a button to make one specific person explode, who would you pick: Old friend from before

Who would you really just love to punch in the face: Many, many people

If anyone could be your slave for the day, who would it be and what would they do: Well probably a close friend of mine, and I'd have him play smash with me and make pancakes with me (basically beg him to hang out even though it's quarantine so we can have fun again)

What's your best physical attribute: Probably my hair, it's dyed purple and used to be shaved

If you were the opposite sex for a day, what would you look like and what would you do: I'd probably look the same just taller and less curves, and I'd probably jerk off or go on some 3am walk because fuck it I can

Do you have a secret talent: I don't think so, I have a shitty memory, but not when it comes to naming ninjago episodes, @the-strawzish-clownfish can verify

What is one unique thing you're afraid of: Touching Rays, any kind, especially the ones at aquariums that come up to the tank wall that you can pet

You can only have one kind of sandwich, every ingredient is at your disposal: Well call me white, but my usual, white bread turkey and shredded cheese. That's it. I'm super lame.

You just found $100 how are you gonna spend it: Save it, I always save hundreds without hesitation

You just got a free plane ticket to go anywhere in the world, but you have to leave immediately: Uh, probably Georgia to see some family

Basically an Angel says I'll give you lost of booze forever be specific: Uh, fuck I dunno I don't drink, Fuckin' Crown Royal for shits and giggles why not

An island in which you can make your own rules, what's the first: Stay on your own turf unless someone allows you to come in, unless it's emergency (and I know this rule will cause problems, it's a guideline at best)

What is your favorite expletive: Tie between Bullshit and Fuck, I absolutely love those two

Your house is on fire (but everyone is okay) what one object do you grab: Well, in my current room right now? My phone, I'll still have contact with people I love and have my art (the only thing I care about in here) with me too

You can erase any horrible experience from your past: Main one, I won't actually say allowed but Roach you know what it is, but one I can put on here, Probably some embarrassing thing I did, most like everyone else

You got kicked out of your country, where would you live: GERMANY! I love the German language and I'd absolutely love to go to Germany and live with it!

Death is a good dude and says you can choose who to bring back: My cat who died a few years ago, he was an awesome cat that didn't deserved to die at 6 years old

What was your last dream about: I have super long dreams, like so much goes on in them it's like a story, too long to type out, @psychotic-roach knows it. Long story short, Pirates and apartments under water

Are you a good (insert whatever): Am I a good, fuck I dunno let's do artists because it's easy. I think I do decent enough

Have you ever been admitted to the hospital: No, only when I was a newborn in the nicu because I wasn't latching right

Have you ever built a snowman: Nope, but my friend did and I watched. His snowman was tiny and got stepped on, my friend shed a few tears

What is the color or your socks: Not wearing any right now, but usually gray

What type of music do you like: EDM AND TRAP BABYYY IF IT'S LOUD I LOVE IT

Do you prefer sunrise or sunset: Sunset definitely, I burn easy so having the nice night air slowly come over with the stars is nice for me

Favorite milkshake flavor: Chocolate!

What football team do you support: American football? None. German Bundesliga teams? Stuttgart. We were assigned teams in my German class and that was mine! Stuttgart all the way!!

Do you have any scars: Yes, many. They range from self harm, to actual cat scratches, to me falling, and many more

What do you want to be when you graduate: No idea!

If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be? Weight, I have bad self esteem so it's never enough

Are you reliable: Honestly, no. I have bad memory and I will forget if someone needs something

If you could ask your future self a question what would it be: How's Roach doing, and what's Oregon like?

Do you hold grudges: depends, mostly no, but sometimes yes

If you could breed two animals together and defy the laws of nature, what two would you breed: Uh good question, probably Cat and Opossum, really just to see what would happen

Most unusual conversation: Mental health stuff with my parents and therapist, more awkward than anything

Are you a good liar: Not really no depending on the person

How long could you go without talking: Well in quarantine all day, regular days though, maybe an hour at best, I absolutely love my friends, just only certain ones

What has been your worst haircut/ style: Back when it was longer than my shoulders and I wore it down. Except I never took care of it so it looked like shit.

Have you ever baked your own cake: Yes every birthday I make mine! I even had my friends help me with my most recent one!

Can you do any accent other than your own: maybe a southern one but no not really

What do you like on your toast: Nutella or cinnamon and sugar. I know, terrible for you

What is the last thing you drew a picture of: Uh me and @psychotic-roach and our pets but I'm self conscious about my art so I just didn't really show it to anyone (sorry Roach, I'm just super shy about my art!)

What would be your dream car: Me and my family had a running joke that I liked Tesla's, so probably a Tesla

Do you sing in the shower: No but I want to, I just don't like people hearing me sing

Do you believe in aliens: I believe we're not alone in the universe, weather it be new life billions of miles away or way advanced life a few galaxies away

Do you often read your horoscope: No, but astrology is fun to fuck with sometimes

What is your favorite letter of the alphabet: probably E or something, it's soothing in a weird way

Dinosaurs or dragons: DRAGONS DRAGONS I LOVE DRAGONS I'M A HUGE HOW TO TRAIN YOUR DRAGON NERD!!!

What do you think about babies: They're sweet sometimes, I'm honestly afraid of holding one or having to take care of one though

Freebie! Ask anything you can think of: I can't really think of anything so I guess just @psychotic-roach I love you!! @the-strawzish-clownfish thank you for these painful asks, they were fun :)

[stargate365]

[SGU] 1.11: Space (1/2)

Previously aboard the Destiny… Spencer committed suicide; Rush tried to frame Young. Young abandoned Rush on a desert planet… Also, some poor scientist sat in the Chair. It did Not Go Well.

Yep, Young’s a grade a ass.

I’m with this here doctor dude.

Uh… guys… they can hear you.

“I can hear you.”

Um… where did Young end up??

That’s not the SGC…

HOLY SHIT

These two…

Ugh, I hate tomatoes.

Purple plants? Awesome!!

???

Where’d the ship come from??

“Surrender.”

Well, that or missilles…

Jfc on toast.

Shhiiitttt… Aliens on board?? Aliens gone? Did they just steal Chloe??

Tf?? What is this??

Why’s she in a water tank?

Interrogating this alien is proving to be odd…

Is… is that Rush?? The hell?

Suppose it answers the question of how they could write in English.

Rush dealing with what he thinks is an Alien… fascinating.

Holy shit!!

Rush to the rescue!! #SaveChloe

Greer has your back dude.

I can’t believe Rush legit just cut a hole in the hull of Destiny.

How’re they gonna fix those holes?? Like, they gonna weld them back in place??

These two… smh. Cant we just share a beer and get over it??

“Well it’s not like we were ever friends.”

I have to say tho. Col. Young’s ability to darn socks is amazing.

Rush and Camille having a secret meeting…

[cruisercrusher]

Dicktiger week day 7- fate (third time’s the charm) who doesn't love a little soulmate au?

It was unheard of to have more than one soulmate, but Dick had always been exceptional.

Although, for the first fourteen years of his life, Dick hadn’t even been aware he had more than one soulmate. For all his childhood, Dick couldn’t see the colour of the sky at midday (but the oranges and pinks of sunset he could see just fine). He couldn't see the colour of the ocean, not his mother’s favourite earrings (but he could see her red nail polish just fine). He couldn’t see the colour of the leaves on the trees in the summer (but he could see the yellow leaves in the fall just fine), nor the grass that grew around them, or the bark of their trunks (except for birch trees, and that made them his favourite tree). Dick thought all these things were the same colour.

Then, when Dick was fourteen, Roy Harper opened his eyes on that rooftop in the middle of a fight Dick wasn't even supposed to be at, and for the first time ever, Dick saw blue.

But… he still couldn’t see one of the three colours of his Robin costume, or the colour of the beads Selina wore at the next gala he and Bruce went to, nor could he see the colour of the hot chocolate Alfred made for him, or the colour of his toast when it came out of the toaster.

And this made Dick afraid.

The timing with Roy was never right. It felt to Dick like there was always some invisible force in the universe that kept them apart, and it never worked out, and it broke his heart. But they would always be friends, and Dick would always treasure the colour blue.

Then, when he was nineteen, Dick met Koriand’r, and for the first time ever, he saw the colour green.

But even so, Dick still couldn’t see the colour of the cinnamon he put in his oatmeal, or the colour of his own skin, or the colour of the soil in which Alfred planted his roses.

And this made Dick afraid.

Things with Kory were amazing until they weren’t, and everything blew up in their faces over something that wasn’t even Dick’s fault (though at the time he was thoroughly convinced it was his fault, sometimes even now he caught himself thinking so), and it broke his heart. But they would always be friends, and Dick would always treasure the colour green.

Then he was twenty-[TRUCK HONKING NOISE] and he was dead, and he was undercover at Spyral, and Dick wondered if he’d ever been this miserable. He was cut off from everyone he ever knew (and his baby brother was still dead for real and he wasn’t done grieving, probably never would be), and his talks with Bruce were never as long or as personal as he wanted them to be. He was surrounded by liars and killers and people who would happily stab him in the back if it could help them get ahead. Now he was one of them, was expected to lie and kill and stab people in the back to get himself ahead, and he wished he’d never agreed to this mission. When he saw him again, Dick was going to punch Bruce super hard. Right in the face. On top of all that Dick was feeling terrible for having resorted to casual sex, potentially his worst unhealthy coping mechanism (and he had a lot of those), just to feel a tiny bit human.

It didn’t even work.

This was probably the worst time for Dick to meet his third and final soulmate. Or, maybe it was the best.

But whichever one it was, it was at this time that Dick met Tiger.

“Dick Grayson, you are an idiot.” The man in front of him, Agent 1, was saying. Dick could tell mostly from reading his lips-- his ears were still ringing from the explosion. Someone was saying something into his com. Yelling at him, probably. He knew he fucked up. But he didn’t really have much more of an option.

Then Agent 1 was grabbing him by the waist and hoisting him up. Dick tried to focus more on how much his head was pounding and how much his knee hurt instead of the way his heart and stomach did somersaults at the man’s touch.

Dick didn’t even realize how much less gray the world was until hours later, when Alia finished aggressively chewing him out. She stormed out, slamming the door shut behind her hard enough to rattle the foundations of the old building. Then he looked down at the floor, suddenly exhausted, and a flash of an unfamiliar shade caught his eye.

The wooden tv stand (that he literally never used) was no longer gray, but instead a pale brown.

His head whipped around the room as a frantic buzzing sensation overtook him. The frame of his bed was brown, too, the same as the tv stand, and so was his bedside table, and the closet door, and the room door, and the window frame— and outside, the trees, the trunks of the trees were all a dark oak he’d never seen before.

Oh god, Dick thought, tugging at his hair. Oh fuck.

It could only mean one thing.

Dick didn’t have the time or energy to think about the fact that he’d just met his third (and final) soulmate. He pushed it out of his mind.

It wasn’t until over a month later, after their fight with the Paragon, that Dick and Tiger actually spoke for real. There was a pounding at Dick’s door, and Dick, wondering who it might possibly be since the only person who ever visited him was Helena and she never knocked, opened it.

Tiger was on the other side, looking harried, leaning on the doorframe. “Helena tells me we’re going to be partners from now on.” He said before Dick had to chance to even get out a greeting.

“Oh,” Dick swallowed, looking up at the man before him. “Okay, cool. It’s good to meet you officially.” He smiled.

Tiger frowned at him and shouldered his way into the room. “Don’t act coy.” He said. Dick closed the door behind him. “Have you told anyone that we are soulmates?”

“No.” Dick shook his head.

“Good. Keep it that way.”

Then there was a tense silence as the two men just stared each other down, neither sure what was going to happen next.

“So… is that all you came here for?” Dick said, shifting awkwardly from foot to foot. With his other two soulmates he’d fallen easily into friendship with them and then easily again into something more. But he didn’t really think he and Tiger started out on a very good note, and so he wasn’t sure where to go from here.

Lucky for Dick, though, he didn’t have to go anywhere. It was Tiger who took the three steps forward into his space. Dick didn’t back away. Something in the other spy’s face had opened up, and Dick could see Tiger was as uncertain as he was.

“I… am sorry. I don’t think I would make a very good soulmate for you.” Tiger said, looking down. “We should keep our relationship strictly professional.”

“Hey, now,” Dick said. “You’re not even gonna try, just because you have low self esteem or whatever? We all have baggage, dude. Why don’t you let me be the judge of whether or not you’d be a good soulmate to me?”

Tiger said nothing, so Dick continued.

“Besides, I… I could really use someone to be close to right now.”

That made Tiger look at him again. “You don’t belong here, Dick Grayson.” He said. “That I can tell.”

“Well I don’t really have anywhere else to go, so.” Dick shrugged. “Guess you’re stuck with me.”

“I guess I am.”

“You know,” Dick said. “Since we met I’ve spent a lot of time just looking in the mirror, since up until now my skin has been freaking gray like an alien, so thanks for that.”

Tiger hummed, bringing a hand up to Dick’s cheek. Dick leaned into the touch involuntarily. “You do have nice skin. It’s like dark honey.”

Dick smiled. His hands slid up to Tiger’s shoulders, pulling himself up and closer. “I have been told I’m very sweet.”

“We’ll see about that.” Tiger grumbled even as he started to lean in.

It was like a magnetic force between them, pulling them together like opposite poles. Their lips met, tentatively at first, then with much more confidence. It was a slow, heated kiss— the kind that spread a tingling warmth all throughout Dick’s body down to his toes. He pressed closer, deeper, with a small noise at the back of his throat. Tiger’s hand that wasn’t cupping his jaw made its way around his waist.

Dick only pulled back when he felt a bit of tongue starting to come into play.

“I think we’re gonna get along just fine.” Dick murmured against his soulmate’s lips, guiding them both towards the bed. “I think we’re gonna get along great.”

[lesscaringintheafterglow]

Just for that, you answer all of them as well James Isaac. -SM-H

.....You are not supposed to be as evil as me. -JM-H

1. What have you eaten today? - Sushi! (Lunch meeting)2. Who was your last kiss with? Was it pleasant?- You, so of course yes.3. What color shoes did you last wear?-My red ones :))4. Who has made you laugh the hardest in the last week?-Tie between you and the man asking me for mercy....                                                                             5. What is your favorite scent?-You just out of the shower or fresh blood6. What is your favorite season? Why?- Autmn, bugs go back to hell! Also the leaves are pretty7. Can you do a handstand or cartwheel?-No.8. What color are your nails?-Natural9. If you had to get a tattoo on your face to save your life, what would it be?-Miss me?10. What is something you find romantic?-You11. Are you happy?-Very....until I had to do this whole thing....12. Is there anything in particular making you happy or sad?-I have to do this whole thing, missing you.13. Dogs or Cats?-Cats15. Which do you prefer:a museum, a night club, the forest or a library?-Any of them as long as you are there.15. What is your style?-Expensive, designer suits, Devil in a Westwood16. If you could be doing anything you like right now, what would it be?-That’s easy, you ;)17. Are you in a relationship or single?-Very Married.18. What makes you attracted to the person you like right now?-Their wicked mind, quick wit, those curllllllls, eyes, just everything....19. If you could replace your partner/best friend with a celebrity of your choice, would you? Who with?-Benadryl Cumbersnatch or whatever comes to mind, no not really, there is no replacing him.20. Are you holding on to something you need to let go of? If so then what?-Nothing comes to mind.21. How did you celebrate last Halloween?-Scary movie marathon and used poprocks on my husband. Good times. 22. Have you recently made any big decisions? -Ooooooobviously, hello, do you know what I do?23. Were you ever in a school play?-Maaaaaaybe24. What movie would you use to describe your life?No idea? The hobbit?25. Is there something you have dreamed of doing for a long time? Why haven’t you done it?-I dream something, I bloody do it.26. Complete this sentence, “I wish I had someone with whom I could share…”-This giant bag of popcorn?27. What are two things that irritate you about the same sex?-Ego and lack of recognizing I am the leader28. What are two things that irritate you about the opposite sex?-Flirting and lack of a penis? I dunno29. What is the best thing that has happened to you this week?-You came home early yay!30. What is something that makes you sad when you think about it?-You leaving31. How long was your longest relationship?-Ongoing32. Have you ever been in love?-You yes.33. Are you currently in love?-Very much so.34. Why did your last relationship end?-Overdose35. What jewelry are you wearing right now, and where did you get it?-wedding ring, my husband36. When was the last time you cried and why?-This morning, nightmare37. Name someone pretty.-Sherlock38. What did you receive last Valentines Day?-a blowjob....and um....I think was it flowers love?39. Do you get jealous easily?-its not jealousy if you belong with them darling40. Have you ever been cheated on?-once41. Do you trust your partner/best friend?-explicitly42. Ever had detention?-Hahaha yes43. Would you rather live in the countryside or the city?-Anywhere you want to go44. What do people call you?-Jim, Boss, Moriarty 45. What was the last book you read? - The Hobbit46. How big of a nerd/dork are you? -Dude, you have no idea47. What kind of music do you listen to?-Anything48. How tall are you?-....Next question!49. Do you like kids?-want one, but we have to do it by legal means....spoil sport50. Favorite fruits?-My husband and I? Um, strawberries?51. Do you wear jeans or sweats more?-Jeans but designer only52. What’s your earliest memory?-Getting a black eye from my mother for asking her for lunch after she had failed to feed me for three days straight. She hit me and threw a glass of jam on the floor which shattered, I remember picking the glass out and eating it off the floor.53. Ever had a poem or song written about you or to you?-I have no idea?54. Do you prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?-My selfie game is on point as the kids say, but behind.55. Do you have a collection of anything? -space related things, comic books, dr who merch, hobbit and lotr things56. Do you save money or spend it?-Sssssssspend it 57. What would your dream house be like?-I have like six dream houses58. What top 5 things make you the angriest?-1.When you get hurt, 2. When people don’t listen to me, 3.Jokes about my height, 4. Reminders of my parents, 5.Attempts on my life                                                                                              59. What top 5 things always brings a smile to your face? 1-4 You and most everything you do. 5. Sales on suits60. You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do?- I am the boss, I rescue the dog.61. 72: You are at the doctor’s office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. a) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? b) What do you do with your remaining days? c) Would you be afraid?-My reaction: Hmm, time to call Mori :)62. Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word; heart.-Attack63. You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go?-Italy64. Do you like the beach?-Yes, but the beach does not like me.65. Ever sleep on the couch or a bed with someone special?-All the time.66. Do you have a middle name? If so what is it!-I do, you know it, Issac67. Do you talk to yourself?-Often68. Describe your hair.-Dark?69. What is the meaning of life.-4270. What is your ideal partner like?-Sherlock Holmes71. Do you want to get married?-I am.72. Do you want to have kids?-Yes!73. Like or dislike your family?-Fuck my family.74. Are you Chunky or Slim?-Slim75. Would you consider yourself smart?-Very 76. What would you change about your life?-A few more inches77. Religious or Not?-Does Our Lady Toast count? Then no.78. You’re drunk and yelling at hot guys/girls out of your car window, you’re with?-I never catcall when drunk, have some respect, they are people too!79. You’re locked in a room with the last person you kissed, is that a problem?-mmm, not a problem at all80. Does anyone regularly (other than family) tell you they love you?-You do.81. If the person you wish to be with were with you, what would you be doing right now?-Well.......get here and find out82. So, the last person you kissed just happens to arrive at your door at 3AM; do you let them in?-They live here too so yes83. Do you like when people play with your hair? -ONLY when you do84. Do you like bubble baths?-decadent goodness85. Have you ever been pulled over by a cop?-Haha, they wouldn’t dare86. Have you ever danced in the rain?-Yes87. Do you trust anyone with your life?-You88. What was your first thought when you woke up this morning?-Fucking nightmare89. If money wasn’t an issue, what top 10 places would you travel to? (You get to stay at each place for a week) -Its not an issue? Italy, Ireland, Spain, France, Greece, Africa, Austrailia, Amsterdam, Canada90. How was your day today?-Decent91. Play an instrument?-piano92. Describe the what you think of the ocean.-its blue and big and wet93. Do you believe in aliens or ghosts?-ghosts yes94. Honestly, are things how you wanted them to be? -Getting to be yes95. Do you have a mean bitchy scary side?-hahahah yep96. When are you vulnerable?-Around you97. How much free time do you have?-As much as i allow myself to have, it varies98. Do you like to go hiking?-No99. Odd or Even Numbers?-Odd100. Would you ever go sky diving, bungee jumping , cliff diving, wing suit gliding, parasailing, snorkeling, or other extreme activities? No, not one for jumping off things.

-JM-H

[bump-of-whump]

I know you said you don't write for Voltron, but could you give us some sick hcs like you did for YOI?

Sure, why not?

Sick VLD headcanons under the cut. I tried to differentiate them from the other ones I’ve seen floating around, but any similarities are innocently lifted rather than intentionally stolen. 🤒😷😴

Lance

As a sickie:

• Actually has a pretty sturdy immune system. He’s kind of cocky about it though. Like, there isn’t much of an effort on his part to avoid germs because he’s so confident he can resist them. This is why on the infrequent occasions he does get sick, it tends to sneak up on him. 

• Mildly dramatic. He won’t start writing up a will or anything, but if he comes down with something, he’s not subtle about it. The type to sprawl out on a cold floor (tile, linoleum, the metal on the castle, etc) if he’s feeling feverish. Will not move once he’s down, everybody just has to walk around him.

• It was easier for him to deal with getting sick on Earth. On Earth he could use it to his advantage to skip class or get extra attention from his family. In space it’s more difficult for him, first of all because of the additional responsibilities, but also because it feeds his insecurity. He doesn’t want to be the weak leak on a mission. That said, it becomes a boasting point if he manages to do well anyway. He might brag about shooting down sentries while being infected with “alien plague” and that sort of thing.

• Keeps a cough now and then. He could be mostly over a cold for like a week and still have a lingering cough. This worries the others, but is the kind of thing that clears up eventually. Usually, anyway.

As a caretaker:

• Actually awesome. The guy has superb emotional intelligence, man. He can tell when someone doesn’t feel good and he just wants to make them feel better. Very attentive to sick friends, even if they’re cranky. The first person to ask if you need to sit down, or offer a glass of water.

• Pretty good at cheering people up, really. Promises whoever’s sick that they’re gonna get over it, tries to keep them focused on the positive but doesn’t push too hard to force it either. Being sick is a bummer and he empathizes.

• Won’t shove medicine down anyone’s throat, but isn’t really a pushover about it either. If the patient doesn’t take it, that’s on them when it takes longer to get better. He tried.

Pidge

As a sickie:  

• Pitiful. Poor thing gets hit really hard by germs. She isn’t dramatic but it’s always painfully obvious when she’s coming down with something. She’s so quiet that it gives everybody this uneasy sense of wrong and she’s mopey too. Not whiny, really, but just…sad. Like a puppy that lost its favorite toy. She’s so pale the second she runs a fever, she’s red as a tomato.

• Only picks at food. Like, she will try to eat. She isn’t the kind of sickie to swear off on food. Logically she knows it’s important to get in the nutrients, but once the food is in front of her, she can’t actually force herself to swallow. She just stirs the soup until it’s cold. Uses her fork to scrape faces into the toast without nibbling past the crust.

• Because of her allergies, she’s pretty used to being stuffed up and the congestion of colds and like is a familiar state to slug through. But stomach bugs pulverize her. If she pukes her guts up for three days, she’s still feeling like a bear clawed through her stomach three days later. It’s just that sore.

• Performs like a compliant, obedient zombie. If her team is like yeah, okay you need to go to bed right now, she does so without protest. Or if it’s the opposite and it’s like, sorry you’re sick but this mission can’t wait, she just as easily goes along with it.

As a caretaker:

• She tries her best, but she gets overwhelmed by difficult patients. If a cranky sickie is yelling at her, she’ll probably throw a box of tissues at their head or something. Or if a delirious one starts wandering or rambling, she’s gonna freak out. Does a lot better with docile patients.

• Stays up late to watch over whoever isn’t feeling good, whether they gave her grief or not.

• Assuming it’s just a cold and the sickie isn’t suffering too bad, she’ll test alien remedies out on them. Particularly Olkarion ones because she’s fond of their culture.

Keith

As a sickie:

• He won’t acknowledge that he’s sick until he has to. He ignores silent symptoms, like various aches and sore throats. Once it’s past that point and he’s audibly/visibly ill, he’ll take some aspirin and go to bed early but not much more than that. Tries to lone wolf it as much as possible, even if he appreciates that his friends want to help.

• Used to get awful ear infections as a kid. Painful, dizzying, high fever kind. Bore it stoically even then. It would take passing out in class for authority figures to notice like, hey, this kid is sick. To date, when something’s coming on, he’ll usually feel it in his ears first. That uncomfortable pressure behind the eardrums and whatnot.

• Is the embodiment of that popular whump trope. Yeah, you know the one. The character that gets sick and proceeds to push themselves to the point of collapse? That’s Keith.

As a caretaker:

• Competent but a quiet worrier. Always double checks labels to make sure he’s giving whoever the right medicine and the right dosage of said medicine.  

• Hangs around with the infected rather than periodically checking on them, never particularly concerned about catching the bug. Always lets his patient pick the tv/movie since they don’t feel well, whether or not it’s anything he finds interesting.

• Observant, probably the first to notice when someone else is getting sick. And then he’s hypocritical, because he’ll call them out on it despite being the type to hide it when he’s ill himself.

Hunk

As a sickie:

• Um, mean. Or at the very least, grouchy and testy. Company grates on him when he’s sick and is definitely not appreciated. He’s the type to hibernate like an animal to sleep something nasty off, and anybody hovering around is in the way of that regardless of good intentions.

• Handles stomach bugs gracefully, if grumpily. Constant motion sickness and anxiety means he’s nauseous half the time anyway. He does better with them than regular flus or colds because pushing through nausea is basically normalcy.

• Gets knocked off his feet by any ailment with muscle fatigue. General weakness takes a lot out of him. He’s a huge dude packing major bodily strength so he feels it super hard when it just depletes in the wake of a bad flu or something.

As a caretaker:

• Very gentle. Conscious of germs, but uses sanitizer discreetly so as not to offend the ill.

• Obviously the first person to whip up some soup and comfort food. Also sneaks vitamins into his friends’ food if it seems like there’s something going around.

• Surprisingly calm when it comes to dealing with delirious patients. Yeah, on the inside it’s freaking him out, but he realizes it’s important to remain outwardly chill to provide as much comfort as he can and hopefully get them to relax. You can’t get a delirious person to relax if you’re obviously losing your shit.

Shiro

As a sickie:

Languishes when he comes down with anything respiratory. I think most peeps pretty much take it as canon that Shiro has a deviated septum because of his facial scar and I am included in this. Even the sniffles fucking wreak this guy.

He tries to keep it together because he’s a leader, downplaying illnesses even if they’re bringing on nosebleeds and migraines. He’ll keep it up as long as he can, unless it gets bad enough that his poor state becomes a liability for the team. He’ll take a step back at that point, begrudgingly accepting that he’s too sick to function. When it reaches this point, it is immensely frustrating for him.

Laying in bed makes him restless and sometimes a little snappy. It gives him too much time to think, with nothing to distract him from being sick. Nothing to distract him from those intrusive thoughts that stem from his trauma. He won’t ask the others to hang around his bedside because it feels like burdening them, but secretly prefers company if only to keep away the silence.

Impatient. Antsy about the speed of recovery, always worries that he won’t recover fast enough even if he’s only a day or two into a cold. Overexerts himself at the first sign of recovery and pushes himself too hard too fast, which could very well land him right back in bed.

As a caretaker:

Silently reluctant. You would never know it because he does such a good job of encouraging the sickie to get better and piling extra blankets on their bed, with reassuring shoulder pats and soothing smiles. But because illnesses hit him so hard, he’s internally nervous about contagion.

He feels guilty for thinking of the other paladins as biohazards when they’re sick. Obviously it’s not their fault. Nonetheless, he is painfully cognizant of the fact that when they get the sniffles, he’s likely to end up battling a serious sinus infection. It’s not fair but it is what it is.

While he goes against his better instincts and actively plays nurse anyway, he is always washing. Vigorously scrubs his natural hand until the skin is flaky and cracked, maybe even bleeding. Cleans his prosthetic one with strong antiseptic wipes, over and over and over. If he can sneak in a hot shower or two, he absolutely will.

Allura

As a sickie:

Out of it. Really weird and spacey. There’s no having a conversation with her. She’s that person that gets delirious even running a low grade fever and the next thing you know, she’s organizing the items in the fridge by color even though she can barely stand.

The kind of patient who will agree go to bed, but wants to work while she’s in bed rather than actually resting. She draws out battle strategies while she’s all laid up, but because of the aforementioned delirium, they usually aren’t good ones. Once she’s recovered, she either revises them or tosses them out entirely. 

•Sensitive to noises and sounds, particularly sounds. The team takes care to speak in low tones around her when she’s sick. She gets headaches and body aches rather easily, and hot baths are her preferred method to relieve the latter, whether or not she’s feverish.

As a caretaker:

Mostly confused. Her team is primarily composed of Earthlings and they don’t come with health manuals.

She isn’t particularly nurturing but she certainly means well. Might throw a patient with chills into a bath hot enough to boil lobsters, or force fed them a few gallons of soup.

•The one aspect of care taking she’s genuinely good at is companionship. Being sick is boring and Allura is great at telling stories. Her voice is also very soft and mellow and serves as a soothing lullaby to any sickie having trouble going to sleep.

Bonus Matt and Romelle because I’m already this far.

Matt

As a sickie:

Susceptible to chills. He can never get warm enough when he’s sick. He layers up big time, fuzzy socks, thick scarf, sweaters over long sleeve shirts, big ol’ blanket over his shoulders.

 Is not particularly cleanly. That blanket over his shoulders? Yeah, it’s also his giant tissue. It’s full of boogers and spittle and he is too sick to care.

 Drinks a ton of hot tea. It’s the only time he drinks hot tea in fact, when he’s healthy, he prefers iced tea. But when he’s sick, the teapot is always on. sweetens with honey to help his throat.

As a caretaker:

Indulgent, particularly if it’s Pidge who’s not feeling well. Whether you’re Pidge or not, you’re getting candy.

Bundles patients up in blanket burritos, whether they have the chills or not. Somethings this works out great. Sometimes the blanket burritos are too tight to escape.

Pretty good at keeping track of symptoms and the way they fluctuate over the course of an illness.

Romelle.

As a sickie

 Complains a lot. Overshares all of her symptoms, no matter what she’s come down with or how gross others might find it.

Needy. She doesn’t necessarily require taking care of, per se, but she does not want to be alone.

Will not stay in bed. It’s too boring and all her sheets are soaked in sweat and sticky, so how is she supposed to sleep anyway?

As a caretaker:

Simultaneously attentive and an asshole. She will spoon feed a sickie soup but make fun of them for being snotty and gross in between every sip.

Will undertake all the chores of the ill and then tell them she does a better job anyway. Once they’re back on their feet, she should show them how to do things right.

Loves pointing out all the ways an illness can get worse and goes into graphic detail with a cheery smile on her face.

Grooms her patients if they’re not feeling up to doing it themselves with a genuine tenderness. Brushes their hair, wipes them down with clean cloths, doesn’t make a big deal out of helping them change clothes. She’s just a total mixed bag.

[lazyfox411]

VLD Whumpmas  Day 2: Indigestion

for day 2 of @vldwhumpmas2017​ !!! I decided to go with keith again. I wrote this last night when I was high off ibuprofen bc I have a nasty cold so I'm sorry if parts don't make sense

“It’s an Altean holiday,” Allura explained. “It’s a time to spend with family, a time for being thankful. Gifts are exchanged, and decorations hung,” the princess’ eyes gleamed with memory, “and oh, how beautiful the castle halls looked glimmering with lights and sparkles!” She clasped her hands under her chin, balancing on the balls of her feet as she imagined how it would look to have the castle all lit up and decked out once more.

“And the children,” Coran said wistfully, “gathering round to hear stories of the ancients, and share sweets, and sing songs. And the guests—oh, the guests! The castle was brimming with ambassadors and dignitaries from all over the galaxy! We laughed, and drank, and a great feast was prepared. Such wonderful times.”

“That sounds a lot like some of the holidays we had on Earth,” Lance mused.

“Really?” Allura asked. The paladins all nodded. “That’s amazing! Perhaps…we could celebrate together?” Allura’s excitement was barely contained, but it had already grown on the rest of the team. They cheered.

“Hunk, my man, you have truly outdone yourself this time,” Lance said, tapping his fingers against his plate in anticipation as he surveyed the array of food in the dining hall.

“This wasn’t all me, dude. A ton of our guests brought dishes from their home planets. It’s amazing!”

“It sure is,” Lance nodded, “I just wish we didn't have to wait at the back of the line.”

“It is common courtesy,” Allura reminded him, “our guests are served first.”

Lance scowled even though he knew she was right, and waited to take his place at the end of the line. He spotted Keith in front of him, and decided to give him a playful nudge. “Outta my way, mullet, I'm starving.”

Keith started to glare at him, but he picked up on Lance's smile and smirked back. They raced each other to get in line. Lance was pretty sure Keith let him win. He took a place in the long line of coalition allies behind Kolivan, and Keith shuffled behind him. They were all in good spirits, the magic of the Altean holiday Lance had long since given up trying to pronounce the name of making them all eager to smile and laugh.

The spread of food all of their alien guests had brought for them to enjoy had Lance's mouth watering just by looking at it. As much as he enjoyed talking to all their guests and meeting the kids from planets they’d freed, and taking pictures for his scrapbook—yes, Lance has a scrapbook, don’t judge him—his mind had started to wander. How much time had passed on earth? Had his family celebrated the holidays without him? Did they think he was dead? Did they miss him?

“Are you okay?”

Lance felt his ears turn red. He turned to find Keith staring up at him, owlish eyes filled with concern. They’d been getting along a lot better lately, but Lance was still a little surprised Keith had picked up on anything.

“Yeah,” Lance smiled. “I'm good.”

Chatter filled the room from guests who had already been served and seated at a clutter of small round tables. The line slowly dwindled until those at the back were practically jumping for joy. Lance filled his plate with the delectable pastries, meats, and sweets that lined the tables. He tried to make small talk with Kolivan to keep up the appearance that he was, indeed, fine, since Keith was still eyeing him dubiously. Kolivan was as good a conversationalist as Lance was a mathematician, that is to say, the conversation didn't continue past some offhand pleasantries. Lance focused on the food instead, since it was right in front of him. He would have to circulate the room and talk to their guests about what each dish was called. He really loved learning about all the diverse cultures that were in space. He watched Kolivan wrinkle his nose at a particular plate of food, but it looked good to Lance, so he took one of the little pink fruit slices for himself. He found a place to sit next to Pidge and some Olkari scientists. He tried to follow their conversation, but he really didn't understand what they were saying. He'd have to ask Pidge to explain it to him later. For now, he busied himself with snapping a few more photos for the scrapbook. Maybe he could show it to his family if he ever made it back to Earth. If.

He spotted Keith, standing uncomfortably in the middle of the crowd, holding his plate and looking for a place to sit.

“Keith!” Lance waved him over. Keith smiled, the tiny little smile he always seemed to get when he found people being nice to him. He joined Lance at the table.

“Hey, Lance.”

“Hey.” Lance said, more awkwardly than he’d intended. He saw Keith had taken the same little pink fruit slice. “What do you think this is?” Lance asked.

Keith didn't seem to mind the random subject. He picked up his own fruit slice to scrutinize it. It almost looked like a tangerine piece, except pink like the blossoms of a cherry tree, with tiny black seeds scattered throughout.

Keith shrugged. “Looks alright.”

They each took a bite at the same time, the sugary citrus taste bursting onto their tongues. It was a lot better than food goo, and they both finished their fruit in seconds.

The crowd seemed to have shifted, because next thing Lance knew, Pidge and her science friends were gone and Hunk was seated next to him instead. They made a game of trying to guess what food belonged to which planet that was being represented here.

“Hey, Keith,” Lance turned to his fellow armour-clad friend—not what he would have liked to wear to a party, but it was the closest thing to formal wear they had. “Where do you think this one comes from?” He held up a tiny cake for Keith to inspect. Keith had grown distant in a matter of minutes, and was now slumped in his chair with his arms crossed. He looked up at Lance's question. “Huh? Oh, uh…I dunno.”

“You don’t even want to take a guess? Come on, mullet, lighten up, it’s a party.”

Keith's eyes widened, and he paled. He jumped from his seat. “I-I gotta go.”

Lance watched him practically run out of the dining room. He frowned. Before he could think about it more, Coran was calling everyone’s attention for a toast.

After too many minutes of Coran regaling everyone about the good old days and how glad he was that they could converge in peace and comradery on this holiday Lance still couldn’t pronounce the name of, Keith still hadn't returned.

“I'm gonna go look for him,” Lance murmured to Hunk before excusing himself from the table. He checked everywhere, power-walking around the castle like a man on a mission, but he didn't find Keith. The last place to look was Keith's room. Lance knocked on the door. Something shuffled inside.

“Keith?” he called. “Buddy, you in there?”

“Go away, Lance.”

“What’s wrong? You totally just bailed on me—I mean, us. Me and Hunk.”

“Nothing is wrong. Leave me alone.”

“Obviously something’s not right. Are you going to tell me, or do I need to come in there?”

No answer.

Lance pressed the panel that opened the door and it whooshed open. He stepped inside. The lights were on, but they were dimmed. Keith sat on his bed, hunched against the wall, knees pulled to his chest. “Get out,” he snapped. Lance met his eyes, and there was a strange expression painted there. Fear?

“Hey, man,” Lance said gently. “What’s up? You can tell me.” He made the bold decision to sit on the edge of Keith's bed.

“I'm fine,” Keith bit. “Leave me alo—” he was cut off by a loud rumbling noise.

“Was…” Lance chuckled, “was that your stomach?”

Keith looked absolutely horrified. “No,” he lied.

“Dude, relax, it isn’t a big deal—”

“I can't relax, Lance, my stomach is trying to kill me!” Keith curled in on himself further, hiding his face in his knees.

Lance sighed. “You really don’t feel well, huh, buddy?”

Keith shook his head.

“Do you think it was something you ate?”

“All I had was that little fruit.”

“Hm. I’ll ask Coran about it.” Lance stood to leave, but Keith caught his arm.

“No, don’t bother Coran. I’ll be fine.”

“Keith, we’re dealing with alien food. What if you're allergic? What if it was poisoned or something?”

“Y-you think it was poisoned?” Keith asked worriedly.

“No, I don’t, I'm just making a point. Let me go talk to Coran.” Lance left before Keith could protest.

It didn't take long to find Coran. He was entertaining a large circle of people with what Lance could only describe as a strange interpretive dance. He tapped the older Altean on the shoulder, “Could I borrow you for a sec?”

“Absolutely my boy!”

Lance pulled him away to talk privately. “So, um, about the food—”

“Oh, yes! Isn’t it wonderful!”

“It’s great Coran,” Lance agreed, “but do you know those little pink fruit slices?”

“Of course! The Yeuranian plum! A delicacy!”

“Right,” Lance continued, “well, I think Keith is kind of having an adverse reaction to it. Like, he’s got a really bad stomach ache.”

“Hm,” Coran twirled a finger through his moustache. “I wonder…those plums contain compounds that are not easily digested by some species. Perhaps Keith's galran heritage hasn’t given him the proper enzymes to digest it properly.”

“Will he be okay?”

“He’ll be fine,” Coran assured. “Uncomfortable, no doubt, but no lasting damage.”

“Thank you, Coran.”

Lance opened Keith's door for the second time that night to find Keith hadn't moved an inch. “Hey, buddy,” he said softly. “Listen, I talked to Coran, and he said you’ll be fine. Just something about you not having enzymes, or alien indigestion or something, I don’t know. I got you some water and a couple extra blankets, if that would make you feel more comfortable?”

Keith grunted in response.

“Here,” Lance said. He handed Keith the water pouch he'd snagged from the kitchen and then stood up and opened the closet. He pulled out a set of pyjamas, though he'd never seen Keith wear them he'd known they were there, all the paladins had them.

“Change into these,” Lance told him. He gave Keith the fuzzy red fabric. “You'll be comfier than sitting here with your armor on.”

Keith whined. He really didn't want to move. Lance sighed, and pulled him to his feet, much to Keith's dismay, though he stood patiently while Lance helped him take off the armor. They got Keith changed, and Lance helped Keith lower himself back onto the bed. As he made Keith lie down, Lance's hand brushed Keith's side and wow nobody was supposed to be that bloated after eating a tiny fruit.

“Does this feel any better?” Lance asked once Keith had had some water and was tucked neatly in bed.

Keith nodded, eyes shut and his mouth in a tight line. “You don’t have to be here. Go back to the party. I know you were having fun.”

“Well, yeah, I was, but you're way more important than that. You look and sound miserable, I'm not going to leave you here by yourself. That’s not what a friend does.”

Keith didn't say anything. His face was pale and his breathing was laboured.

“You okay?” Lance asked.

“Yeah. Just…I really don’t feel good.”

Lance's heart went out to the poor guy. They were all supposed to be having fun, and here was Keith laid up in bed.

“Is there anything else I can get you?” Lance asked.

Keith shook his head. “You’ve already done way more than you had to.”

“No, I did what any decent person would do. I just want you to feel better, buddy.” Lance had a strong urge to reach out and pet Keith's hair, but he held back. “Do you want a tummy rub?” he asked instead.

Keith cracked an eye open. “What?”

“Like this,” Lance murmured. He put a hand over Keith's belly and rubbed in gentle circles. “It'll help you feel better.”

Keith mumbled a sound of agreement. “’S’nice.”

Lance didn't stop, even after all the guests were long gone from the castle, even after Keith had dozed off. He stayed until morning, when Keith’s stomach stopped being so angry and Keith felt well enough to get up. He vowed that next time they ate alien food, he'd ask someone what was in it.

[bugablu]

Lance dropping casual observations about Keith is a pure and good thing.

–

They’re on a new planet and Lance is trying out the food at a local festival. He’s thankful for the green goop and Hunk has done wonders in experimenting with the flavor, but sometimes a guy needs a little more variety. Or at least something that tastes like coconut. He grabs some sort of kabob looking thing and takes a small bite. As soon as the flavor hits him, he’s bounding across the room waving the dish excitedly in Keith’s face shouting, “Dude you HAVE to try this, you’re gonna love it.” It’s hot pink with green stripes and….fuzzy? Keith raises an eyebrow at the striped mammalian horror for a moment, then narrows his eyes at Lance. “It’s not going to turn me blue or make me throw up is it?” Lance rolls his eyes. “That was one time, get over it already. Nothing weird is going to happen, I just know you have a sweet tooth so I think you’ll like it.”

Keith is blindsided by the statement. How does Lance even know that? What the quiznak? He doesn’t realize he’s silently staring at Lance until the blue paladin is waving the food in his face once again. “Are you gonna try it or what?” Keith brushes the surprise off; he’ll think about it later. “Um… yeah, sure. Stop trying to stab me in the face with it, jeez.” Keith ends up eating 11 of the seussian skewers before they go back to the castle for the night. – “What are you nervous about?”

Keith’s posture stiffens. He didn't even hear Lance enter the common room. “What makes you think I’m nervous?”

Lance climbs over the back of the couch to seat himself on it - because he can’t just be normal and walk around to sit like a normal person - before answering. “You’re staring off into space, ha, and messing with the Velcro on your gloves. You only do that when you’re nervous about something.”

“How do you even know that?!” The question tumbles out of Keith’s mouth without explicit permission.

Lance pulls his legs up to cross them and raises an eyebrow. “I pay attention, obviously.” He looks away before adding “So….what’s wrong.”

They talk for a while. It’s not a magic cure, but Keith doesn’t feel like the universe is completely falling apart afterwards. It’s…nice. –

Pidge finds the t-shirt on one of their trips to the space mall. It says something along the lines of “Edge Lord” on it in an alien tongue and Pidge thought it was the most hilarious thing they had ever seen and immediately bought it. Keith wrinkles his nose at it, but leaves the room to pull it on anyways. He's never really had a family, but Pidge is so much like a younger sibling and they looked so proud of the gift. He doesn't want to let them down. So, he slips it on and marches back into the training deck, determined to not be embarrassed. Which meant that Lance had made his way into the room just before Keith returned, of course. Lance actually does a double take before he’s consumed with laughter. Keith pouts. When the full body howling finally dies down to more of a giggle, Lance looks over at Pidge. “Is THAT the shirt you bought him?”

They grin, “Yup.”

“God bless you Pidge. I can’t believe you got him to wear it though, Keith hates the color orange.” There’s no time for Keith to wonder how it is that Lance became privy to that information because Lance gives him another look over and grins. “With good reason too. It’s definitely not your color dude.”

Keith immediately pulls the boot off of his left foot and chucks it at Lance’s head. He doesn’t actually throw it hard, but he also doesn’t miss. 

–

Hunk finds a shop that sells space candy on another trip to the space mall a few weeks after the t-shit incident. They look and taste like jelly beans and even come in a myriad of assorted colors. Everyone on the ship is basically obsessed with them. No one brings it up, but the space jellies, as Lance lovingly calls them, remind everyone on the team of home. It’s bittersweet and Coran makes sure the kitchen is well stocked with them. 

It’s the middle of the night and Keith can’t sleep, so he drags himself to the kitchen for a midnight snack. Lo and behold, he notices a certain Cuban boy sitting on the counter tossing space jellies in the air and trying to catch them with his mouth. Lance’s antics are ridiculous, but they’re also kind of…. endearing? Keith shakes the thought from his head and rolls his eyes for good measure before making his way to the pantry. 

If it had been anyone else, there would have been at least three boxes left and a cold juice sitting there waiting for the taking. BUT it’s Keith, so that means the last box of space jellies is currently being consumed by Lance who rattles a half finished box and says, “Looking for these?”

When Keith turns to face him, Lance is grinning from ear to ear. It’s definitely not cute. “You took the last one.”

Lance’s smile doesn’t falter at Keith’s grumpy tone. “Sure did.”

Keith huffs and turns back to the pantry, resigns himself to grabbing a bag of little pea shaped things that taste like banana at first, but leave a burnt toast aftertaste. Pidge is obsessed with them, Keith doesn’t really get it but he needs something to snack on so he sits a the table and tears opens the bag.

A few minutes go by and the silence is only broken up by Lace humming a few bars of some song Keith has never heard before. He likes it though and he’ s almost tempted to ask Lance to hum it a little louder. But that’s weird. So he just stares at his pea things and occasionally places one in his mouth.

A box is suddenly placed in front of Keith as Lance slides onto the seat directly across from him smiling. “You like the black ones, right?” He says it with an air of confidence that only Lance possesses but there’s some sort of undertone to it that Keith can’t quite identify. Fondness maybe?

Keith shifts his gaze from the boy in front of him back down to the box of space jellies. There are quite a few of Keith’s preferred jellies in there and it almost seems like Lance had planned on saving all of them for Keith before he even came into the kitchen. Keith pushes the thought away and looks back up at Lance to mutter a thank you. When Lance smiles this time it’s blinding and genuine. Keith has to avert his gaze yet again, because when Lance gives him that specific brand of smile... his heart starts to do weird things.

The humming starts again and when Keith is done with his jellies they clean up and Lance walks him to his room. The “Goodnight” Lace utters before heading to his room is accompanied with a small wave and a soft smile. Keith falls back to sleep as soon as his head hits the pillow. 

–

They’re sitting side by side on the floor of the bridge staring upwards at the holographic image of Earth’s sun and all of the stars surrounding it. It doesn’t happen every night, not that there’s really a night or a day in space, either way they should both be asleep at these time none the less, but it’s not uncommon for one of them to find the other sitting by a window looking out at the endless space that surrounds them at all times now.

Sometimes they just sit together in comfortable silence. Sometimes they make up stupid constellations to make one another laugh. Occasionally they’ll both lay down next to each other as they look out a window at an unfamiliar planet and talk about all kinds of things in muted tones. 

Tonight though, there was something about the look in Lance’s eyes that made Keith take him by the wrist and lead him to the bridge to look at the familiar stars they’d both grown up staring at. 

Keith smiles as he points to another cluster and says, “That’s Lyra.”

Lace looks up. “It’s small.”

“Yep.” The red paladin nods. “It’s the 52nd constellation in order from largest to smallest, but Vega is part of the constellation and that’s the fifth brightest star in Earth’ s night sky.”

Lance pulls his legs to his chest and rests his chin on his knees. “Isn’t there a myth behind it about a musician or something?”

“Yeah, Orpheus. The story is pretty sad actually.”

Lance spares Keith a glance paired with a smirk before looking back at the hologram. A half smile shouldn’t twist Keith’s stomach like that, but it does. “Greek mythology usually is Keith.” There’s a brief pause before Lance turns back to Keith again and asks “Will you tell me the story?” 

This time Lance doesn’t look away. His gaze is fixed on Keith and the expression he’s making and the tone of voice he’s using isn’t quite as unfamiliar to Keith anymore as it was four months back. In fact, he gives Keith that look every night they sit together under the stars, and sometimes throughout the day when he thinks no one is looking, or when he catches Keith laughing at one of his jokes. Lance looks at Keith like he’s precious, like he’s the most beautiful thing in the universe, and it never fails to make Keith’s mouth go dry or increase his heartrate.

“You don’t want to hear me ramble about some random Greek tragedy.” He can’t look away from those eyes. Who awarded Lance the right to have such perfect blue eyes? They’re the pools of water you land in when you’ve followed the river down the waterfall and Keith has never been a strong swimmer. It’s not fair.

“I do.” Lance sounds so sincere. Why does he have to sound like that? Why is his voice so soft and fond? Two syllables came out of that mouth. Simple words, three letters, one space between the first and the last two when written down, and they still manage to knock the breath from Keith’ s lungs. 

When it’s just him and Keith, Lance is different. The obnoxious jokes, and the issuing of lame little competitions between the two of them, and the occasional bickering are all still there even when they’re alone. Keith just feels like there’s something…extra. Like bonus content you only get when you’ve purchased the collector’s edition of a game or something. Lance’s edges get softer and he’s more honest about what he’s feeling when no one else is in the room. He’s  a little more sincere, more prone to being serious, and it’s stunning.

“Please? I like to hear your voice.” Keith still can’t manage to tear his eyes away from the boy sitting next to him, and he knows. He knows that he’s beat red. It’s so, so embarrassing, but he still takes a deep breath when his lungs figure out how they’re supposed to work again and he starts telling the story. 

“So, you were right. Orpheus was a musician, but not like any run of the mill musician, he was the best harpist in all of Greece, even the gods acknowledged his talents.” Lance whistles and Keith tries very hard to not be distracted by the way his lips pucker to make the sound. “Umm…. So, on his wedding day his wife, Eurydice, got separated from the wedding party and got bit on the heel by a snake while she was running away from a Satyr with… less that pure intentions and died.”

“That’s awful.” It’ s almost a whisper.

“Yeah, it really is.” Keith pauses for a moment to silently mourn a fictional nymph. Which, okay yeah it’s probably dumb, but whatever. If Keith had learned anything in the last six months of constant warfare, it’s that patience yields focus and you should always respect the dead. He continues, “Anyways, Orpheus was so heartbroken that he decided to take a journey to the underworld to strike a bargain with Hades to get her back. So when he got there he just started playing this song, and it was so beautiful that even the stones around them start crying and it moved both Hades and his wife Persephone’s hearts or whatever, so Hades cut him a deal.”

“He told Orpheus that if he started walking to the gates of Hell Eurydice would follow behind him and be returned to the world of the living, but only if he didn’t look back at her until they were both out of Hades’ domain. So he walked and walked and had to keep reminding himself that no matter how much his heart told him to, he couldn’t look back. So, when he reached the upperworld he finally looked back, except he forgot to account for the fact that Eurydice could be farther than a foot behind him. She hadn’t reached the entry yet, so she was dragged back down to stay in the world of the dead.”

Lance makes a small sound, whining sound. It’s the same sound Lance always makes when he hears something sad or sees wounds on a comrade after a battle. Keith reaches a hand out to push Lance’s bangs back partly because he knows it’s the easiest way to sooth the blue paladin, and partly because it was an excuse to touch him.

He pulls his hand back, not without reluctance but he still has the rest of the story to tell and being mesmerized by Lance melting under his fingertips would be a little too distracting for Keith to remember how words work. “After that he only ever played sad music. There are a few different versions of how the myth ends, but the one that’s told most often is that in his grief he didn’t pay tribute to the god of wine and he was torn limb from limb as punishment. The muses carried his harp into the sky to form Lyra and immortalize Orphus’s tragedy in the night sky.”

All at once there’s a weight on Keith’s side that was not previously there. Lance had closed the small space between them so that he could rest his head against Keith’s should and lean into him. 

Lance makes an amused sound. “Of course your favorite constellation in the sky would be the one with the with the most depressing love story behind it.”

Keith furrows his brow. He’s been pointing out different constellations all night and he just doesn’t get how Lance picked out his favorite one so easily. His heart does something weird again. It’s painful and also…  pleasant? warm? nice? 

Keith does it too, though. Off of the top of his head he could tell you that Lance hates everything remotely flavored like cooked carrots, but will eat anything that tastes like raw ones. He could write poems about how Lance always worries his bottom lip with his teeth when he’s not quite sure what to say. He could almost list all of the names of the people in Lance’s absurdly large family in alphabetical order and tell you at least two facts about each one of them. Keith could tell you all about how Lance mumbles under his breath in Spanish when he’s scared or exhausted. It wouldn’t sound as pretty, but he could hum you all of the songs Lance sings when he’s happy.

Keith know without a shadow of a doubt why he remembers every tiny detail that Lance has ever revealed to him. There wasn’t a specific moment he realized he was in love with Lance, it had been happening slowly for a long time now. And, yeah, Keith thinks he has an idea as to  why Lance knows so many small truths about him too. He’s just… never asked for confirmation. So he plays with the velcro on his gloves for split second before deciding to take them off completely and setting them aside. He burns a hole in the projected image of Earth’s sun and bites the bullet.

“Why do you keep doing that?”

Lance lifts his head from Keith’s should and settles his chin in it’s place so that he gets a better view of Keith’s profile. “Doing what?”

Keith musters up the courage to turn his face and look directly into Lance’s eyes. Their noses are almost touching now. “Noticing all of these… I don’t know, these like, obscure little things about me that no one else notices. Like knowing I like black space jellies when I’ve never actually vocalized anything about that, or remember when Hunk tried to shove that plant in my face so I could smell it and you swatted it out of his hands because it looked like a tulip and you remembered I was allergic to them. Or knowing that my favorite color is blue and that my least favorite is burnt orange.”

“To be fair burnt orange is an awful color in general.”

“Okay, yeah, but you always know when I’m upset, or nervous, or happy because of some weird hand gesture that I usually don’t even know I’m doing until you point it out. Why do you know all of those things Lance? Why do you remember them?”

One of Lance’s eyebrows quirks up and he teases, “Do you really want to know?”

Keith let’s out an exasperated breath. “Well, I asked didn’t I? So yeah Lance, I want to know.”

The smirk falls off of Lace’s face and he shifts himself to sit on his feet so that his body is facing Keith’s. Lace keeps his eyes trained on the floor, looking like he’s waging some sort of internal battle, and when he finally looks back up at Keith there’s determination burning in his expression and maybe a little fear. 

Lance opens his mouth to speak…and then he closes it. He does this four times before bringing his folded hands up from his lap to cover his face. Lance complains into his hands in hushed Spanish. 

When he peaks out from between his fingers and then drops them uselessly back in his lap, his cheeks and ears are an adorable shade of red and he smiles at Keith sheepishly. “You know, for someone who talks so much, I’m really not all that great with words when it comes to stuff like this.” 

The words are accompanied by a self deprecating laugh. Keith frowns and tries to make his voice sound encouraging when he says “Take your time.”

Lance smiles, but there’s a bitter edge to it. “That’s the thing though, all I’ve been doing is taking my time. I’m kind of sick of it honestly. I keep trying to find the exact right words to say to you and I practice in my head and then as soon as I consider opening my mouth to say it, I just forget how to talk or I say something dumb. And it’s just so ridiculous, you know? Because it doesn’t have to be some drawn out dramatic speech like I keep telling myself. It’s actually just so stupidly simple and I don’t get why I’m so scared to mess it up. But really, how hard is it to say “because” and follow it up with three words? I look at you an I just…” Lance stares at him. “I just…” Lance lifts his hands and places them on either side of Keith’s face. 

Keith’s heart is trying to make its great escape by bludgeoning it’s way out of his chest. He’s pretty sure his entire rib cage is turning to dust and his body is down a set of lungs. They’ve just ceased existing. What are lungs? No clue, never heard of them.

“Keith.” Lance’s voice cracks just a little when he says the name and he swallows and starts again. “Keith. Keith Kogane. My buddy, my pal. I know that you have a sweet tooth, and that you love a good hug but don’t know how to ask for one when you need it. I know that you’re smart, and talented, and think butterscotch candies are the sole creation of the devil himself.”

Keith can’t help the laughter that escapes him and it makes Lance smile the way he always does when Keith so much as chuckles.

“I know that you have the best laugh I’ve ever heard. You have no idea how much I love that laugh. Seriously. I know you collect snow globes, and love conspiracy theories-”

“They’re not all just theories Lance, there’s a lot of evidence out -”

“Shhhhhh, you asked me a question and I’m trying to answer it and I’m kind of on a roll after mumbling for five minutes about how this wasn’t going to be some drawn out thing. But I’m just focusing on you instead of some practiced speech and I’m actually forming mildly coherent sentences, so be quiet. I haven’t even gotten to the best part yet.”

“I know a bunch of tiny little facts about you, and yeah sure part of that is because I’m super observant and totally cool,” he winks, “but I notice all of those things specially about you because…” Lance swallows hard and takes a calming breath. “I lo-”

Keith has been told many times that he gives into impulses too quickly, that he’s too impatient. And…yeah, it’s true, absolutely, and he’s working on it. No, really, he is! Try as he might though, he couldn’t handle another second of wanting to kiss Lance and not doing it when the opportunity clearly presented itself. 

It’s not the smoothest first kiss, but it’s not all teeth and bumping noses either, and it leads into soft drawn out kisses, and kisses that can barely even be called that because the two of them are grinning so wide. 

When Keith pulls away a faux pouty expression take over Lance’s face. “You didn’t even let me finish.” He starts to waggle his eyebrows in the most obnoxious way possible and says “These lips were just irresistible huh? I guess I’m just too smoochable.”

How the hell does Keith find this so cute? 

“Hey, Keith?” 

“Yeah?”

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

[sunnybimbo]

!!! i wrote this for my buddiest best of buds, @kurosakiami01​ and so i figured hey,,,, why not post it on tumblr also???? (we all know im a slut for attention)

so have this!

tw for lots of injuries, a brief panic attack, allura getting drugged, electrocution? ask to tag anything else!! its not as bad as it sounds!!!!

Pairing: Keith/Lance/Hunk

Summary: Team Voltron heads out for a peace talk, and Hunk ends up getting very hurt. Lance is beside himself, but he can always count on Keith to lean on.

Read it on AO3 here!

It’s one of those usual, boring, diplomatic days. Allura was trying to spread the good word that was Voltron, and it’s quest to defeat evil. Well, actually, the team had gotten a hail from a nearby planet. Inupra, it was called. A large planet, almost the size of the sun (the one that Earth orbited, that is), with exactly seven humanoid species and over a thousand microbiotic specimens.

At least, that’s what Pidge found out with a quick scan. Lance couldn’t care less about the composition of the soil, which Pidge had gone on a long spiel about. He was more concerned with whether or not he was allowed to stay inside to take a nap.

Spoiler: He wasn’t.

And so he sat stubbornly at the base of a tree, watching as Allura sucked up to the diplomats that were sent to complete the treaty. They had frog-like features and long bodies that towered over the humans like streetlights. Their skin was bumpy, like braille, and they ranged from purple to grey in color, but they all had friendly smiles. Friendly, toothless smiles.

Instead of schmoozing with the locals, Shiro and Keith had decided to wander around and  “scout the area”. In reality, they were just bonding. Nothing wrong with that.

Pidge was somewhere near the Green Lion, trying to reverse engineer the Inuprian’s hailing system. And Hunk was probably there, too, pulling Pidge back when the aliens got too overwhelmed by the tiny paladin’s excitement. Or maybe even hyping her up.

And Coran, as usual, was doing whatever it was he did all day on the ship. Repairing something? Or maybe trying to think of new recipes to experiment on. Probably something that was just as boring as the rest of the aforementioned activities.

That left Lance alone, with hard bark at his back and soft grass (or it’s space-equivalent) at his feet. Surely, with everyone so busy with their own things, he could take a super short nap? They’d hardly notice if he just… drifted right off…

“Lance!” Allura’s voice pierced through the peaceful silence and he hopped up, head nearly hitting a low-hanging branch.

As he began stuttering out excuses, the Inuprians set out a feast for the heroes. They enlisted the help of Hunk and Shiro for the heavy lifting, but the two boys didn’t complain. Honestly, they were just amazed at the size of the bird they had cooked. It was almost as large as Voltron’s foot.

It took nearly twenty minutes to set out the dishes, and another ten to arrange the seating. Allura at the head, two diplomatic ambassadors on either side of her, and the paladins taking up the rest of the seats.

Allura cleared her throat, lifting a goblet to make a quick toast. “Thank you, our new allies, for agreeing to join us in our journey to defeat Zarkon and his Galra Empire. Together we will be able to defeat him and finally be at peace.” With a nod and a smile, she took a small sip from the golden goblet.

Everyone followed her example, and then the feast began in earnest.

“Princesses first.” Lance teased, passing a plate of some sort of soup in Allura’s direction. Allura, however, didn’t pick up the tone and instead perked up.

“My, Lance! It seems you do have manners.”

Pidge’s laugh echoed in her already emptied goblet. Lance pouted, flicking a pea (which apparently was a universal vegetable) at the caramel-colored hair across from him. Before Pidge could retaliate with some pink mashed potatoes, Shiro’s hand was slamming down on the table between them.

“Chill out, kiddos.” Hunk spoke up, passing a full plate to the both of them. “The Inuprians worked real hard on this feast. I’d like to not be banned from returning until after I pick up some groceries.”

“Yes, mom.” Lance pouted, picking at his avian dish, resting his head against the palm of his hand. He didn’t, however, stop poking at Pidge’s shin guard with his foot. Shiro pinched the bridge of his nose, throwing pointed looks at both of them while simultaneously trying to keep a conversation going with a nearby alien host.

The two paladins were just about to take their plates and dump them on each other when a concerned voice cut through the amicable chatter.

“Princess?”

Hunk, Lance, Pidge, and Shiro turned to Keith, who was holding said royalty steady as she teetered in her seat, head nearly falling into her plate. She trembled a bit, and swayed to the other side. Shiro, however, was there to catch her and gently lay her in the grass.

“Allura?” He waved his hand in front of her unfocused eyes, snapping his fingers. She couldn’t seem to concentrate, and her body was limp in his hold.

“Coran, something’s wrong with the princess.” Keith spoke into his communicator as the rest of the paladins crowded around.

“What’s the problem?” Coran’s voice filtered through all of their helmets.

��Maybe it’s an allergic reaction?” Hunk frowned, feeling for her pulse. Before Coran could respond, a weapon fired above their heads and hit an ambassador in the shoulder, knocking them from their seat and pulling the tablecloth with them.

Someone screamed, and the paladins scrambled into action. Shiro lifted the princess to his chest and took off in a sprint towards their lions, Keith right behind him.

Pidge gets hit once, a darkened tint over the white armor. The green paladin took it in stride, with only a grunt and an extra burst of speed as response.

Hunk and Lance, on the other hand, got caught in the crossfire. Lance immediately calls forth his blaster, aiming at the heavily shielded combatants that approached.

“They’re not Galra!” He shouted, diving for cover behind the upturned table and shooting covering fire as Hunk dropped beside him, his own gun materializing not seconds later.

“The translator is picking up parts of their language. It seems to be a protest?” Pidge spoke up. “Someone must not want to join our Alliance.”

“How’s the Princess?” Lance asked, firing two shots blindly as their heads were showered in splintered wood from their hiding spot. Of course the attackers came prepared, with shields, guns, and even explosives.

Speaking of, a grenade-type plopped right between the yellow and blue paladins and they scrambled out of the way. Hunk dashed right, firing his cannon to cover Lance’s escape. He didn’t notice as a group of the assailants cut him off until they were two steps ahead of him, tackling him to the ground.

“Hunk!” Lance cried, ducking behind a tree just as the grenade exploded.

The yellow paladin’s ears were ringing as the enemy Inuprians grabbed him with clammy, amphibious hands and flipped him onto his stomach. He heard the alarming sound of electricity near his ear before he felt it coursing through his veins.

They struggled to lift him while he was stunned, but they were so tiny compared to him, skinny arms more suited for programming bots than benchpressing something twice their size. Even with the group crowding him, they weren’t able to lift him very far.

For which, Hunk was thankful. Once he’d forced the air that had gotten stuck in his throat when they tased him back down, he was more than prepared to throw them off and into a few conveniently placed trenches.

“Hunk!” Lance screamed again, voice echoing through his malfunctioning communicator. “Come on, dude!”

Hunk grunted, rolling a shoulder. It would probably be bruised, but he would live. He conducted a brief once over of himself as he ducked and dove from the enemy retaliation, narrowly escaping another grenade. “On my way!”

Something else crackled through his busted helmet, but he couldn’t make out the words. It might’ve been Pidge?

Luckily, his lion wasn’t that far off. Near the Green Lion sat Yellow, hunched over and tense. Or, as tense as a machine can look. Hunk was grateful that the barrier easily dissipated and he slipped in without a hitch.

Once inside, he brought up the Lion-to-Lion communicator instead and tossed his helmet off to the side. A total safety hazard, but his ears were still ringing from the explosions and the static constantly crackling in his ears was not helping.

“Did everyone get away?” He asked as his Lion quickly powered up and took off, trailing just a few hundred feet from the Blue Lion.

“We’re all good.” Keith breathed heavily, and his picture popped up in Hunk’s peripherals as he checked Yellow’s power. “Shiro, how’s the Princess?”

There was a shuffling noise before Shiro popped up next. Pidge and Lance quickly joined in soon after. “She’s… still asleep, but she’s alive.” His voice was a bit shaky, and Hunk instantly saw how much everyone’s demeanor changed. They all tensed, gripping their controls like stress balls.

“Hangars are open. A diagnostic for the Princess is being set up. How much longer until you all reach the Castle?” Coran questioned, a flurry of beeps and boops of him furiously commanding the castle trickling in the background.

“Should be just a few minutes.” Shiro turned to glance back at Allura, who was leaning heavily against the wall, head lolling with the slightest movement.

“Watch out!” A voice cut through, too loud to really discern the speaker.

Red rammed into Black, and they swerved away just as a bright beam of light shot at their quickly vacated space. Allura mumbled nonsense as her body slid across the floor, but she was unhurt from the spin.

“Thanks.” Shiro breathed, and Keith nodded at him on the video feed. He slipped into a formation with the other four lions, leading as always, with Keith and Pidge to his right and Hunk and Lance to his left.

“Incoming!” Lance called, dodging out of the way. Another beam shot and deflected off of the Castle’s shields.

They weren’t expecting another shot to immediately follow, catching the Blue Lion by the tail and pulling her down. Lance squealed, and his video flickered from the interference. Not only that, but Blue’s exterior lit up like she was being electrocuted.

“They sure do love tazing.” Hunk grumbled, before calling out a worried, “Lance!” and charging into the line of fire.

He rammed head first into the underbelly of the Blue Lion, sending her hurtling back into open space and taking her place. The beam then wrapped around Yellow and began to tug the Lion and its paladin back down to the planet’s surface. Electricity surged through the controls, stinging Hunk’s hands.

His safety belt malfunctioned from the current, and he was slammed backwards out of the seat, head hitting a side panel and frying his head.

“It’s one of those beast things!” Pidge called, doubling back with Keith and Lance to help Hunk.

And a beast it was. It was huge, almost rivaling the Castle of Lion’s immense size. A thin blanket of some type of fur covered it’s skin, which had been interlaced with wires and machinery. A single eye seemed to be locked onto all five Lions at once.

From inside the Yellow Lion, dozens of alarms were going off. Hunk groaned, rubbing his neck. It would bruise, but he was just glad it wasn’t broken.

“Ugh… Whuh… Yellow!” He slurred, shoving his body up from the floor and collapsing over the consoles. His hands shook slightly as he read over the damages, and he couldn’t make himself do anything but stare as more and more popped up.

“--unk! Resp--d!” Voices fizzed through the speakers of his helmet, sitting sadly in the corner of his Lion, like a soda that had been shaken before being opened.

He grunted as his Lion shook violently, collapsing into his seat. “‘m here, guys.” He murmured. Then he coughed, and spoke up.

“I’m here.” He tried again, pulling up the videos once more and rolling his shoulders. He would definitely have to treat Yellow to some special bonding time after this.

Lance looked visibly relieved. “We’re coming to get you, bud. Just sit tight, yeah?”

“Or try to not get sucked down there. We don’t want that thing plus the Inuprians attacking us.” Pidge spoke up.

“Yeah. On it.” Hunk grunted, grabbing for his helmet and tugging it back on for safety, only pausing to wipe at the streak of blood coming from his nose. He must have banged it when he flew out of his seat. The red was startling against the yellow and white of his armor, but he didn’t have time to dwell on the poetry of color theory.

Yellow’s engines stuttered as he pushed against the current pulling him down.

The lasso'd electricity wrapped even tighter around Yellow's sides, crushing in. If she had lungs, she'd be in big trouble. Not to say, of course, that either she or Hunk were having the time of their lives at the moment.

Her armor began to buckle, and Hunk didn't even want to think about what would have happened if Lance and Blue had been caught instead. In this situation, it was best that the one with the most armor was trapped like this, so the ones with firepower could get him out.

As he’s pulled down lower and lower— Yellow sucking in on herself like a black hole— the robeast cuts fully through the atmosphere. The clouds cling to it, as if trying to hold it down, but ultimately it pushes through.

It... was very similar to one of the first robeasts they'd ever faced. It's singular eye rotated completely around its head, but the body seemed to have been replaced with an actual engine. It must be fast, then.

The body rotated (creepily enough, the head stayed facing straight) and the electric rope yanked Hunk closer. The current let up for just a moment, allowing him to breathe in the metallic tang of his own blood, and he choked on his cough as pain ruptured through his arm. And, upon closer inspection, he was having major trouble even trying to twist his wrist. Oh boy.

The hairy, creepy, spinny robeast jerks itself closer, and there is a faint, high-pitched sound of something being powered up, audible even in the empty void of space. That was the only warning they had before it shot again, at an encroaching Pidge that had tried to sneak up behind it.

Hunk, the darling, does try his best to help his friends. He tries to wiggle his controls this way and that to escape the hold, he tries to stop his nose from bleeding any further into his mouth, and he even tries to comfort the distressed Yellow in the back of his mind. He did not want to think about how much she must be hurting being wrapped so tight like that. Not one bit.

Around him, his team's voices filtered in one ear and out the other as they made and executed their plan.

First, Keith distracted the beast by being the biggest threat while Shiro dropped Allura off in the castle, out of harm's way. He fired everything he had on it, and it chased him like an agitated cat.

Yellow had begun to get tugged along with the pursuit, but he was quickly cut free by both Lance and Shiro. The rope was frozen by Blue's ice beam, and Shiro flashed by to cut it with Black's jawblade.

Yellow drifted, and Hunk didn't have the strength to try to move away. Instead, he sagged against the controls, timing his breathing with his erupting heartbeat, loud in his ears. It had long since drowned out the other voices, and the only thing that kept him from panicking was Yellow's presence.

Outside, though, his team was doing just fine. Even without Voltron, they were quickly overpowering the creature. It must have been built solely on speed, because even just ramming into it sent it spiraling out of control.

Pidge was the one to finish it. It was lured close by Keith, and Pidge burst out of invisibility to shoot as many times as she could, directly in its face.

Once one beam pierced, the remaining dozen easily cut through as well. It trembled and erupted into a satisfying ball of fire, and the team high-tailed it out of there as fast as they could.

The Black Lion latched onto the severely damaged Yellow, tugging her back home while the Green and Red help support the less broken, but still very much so voltaic Blue Lion.

Once they are safely nestled in their hangar, Coran flies them as far away as they can get without Allura's power teleporting them. Yellow is unable to support herself, and has to flop uselessly on her side in order to begin repairing herself.

Hunk, inside, is hardly doing better. He felt so tired, but he knew, out of everything learned from the medical classes forced on them by the Garrison, one with severe injuries should never be allowed to fall asleep. Or something like that.

So, he forced himself out of his chair to lean heavily against the walls of his Lion. He tears off his helmet to swipe away the remaining blood coating his lip with his uninjured hand.

That's how Lance bursts in on him. Blood across the front of his suit— which really looked much worse than it was— , an unnaturally held arm— which barely even hurt anymore!— and tears in his eyes. Those he had no excuse for, other than the fact that he'd been absolutely terrified about everything that had just happened to them.

Lance leads him out, chattering at him a mile a minute as he fussed with the blood, and Shiro quickly comes to help them down the ramp as Hunk teeters dangerously to the side, listing where he stood like a broken boat in the middle of the ocean.

The team huddles around him, but still they stay far enough away to give him space to find his footing. It's almost like a halo of worry around him, and Hunk cracks them a smile. "I'm okay guys."

Keith inhales sharply, ready to tear Hunk a new one until Shiro catches his attention with a quick motion, silencing him just like that.

Shiro and Lance support Hunk on the way to the medbay, where they're intercepted by Coran halfway down the hall.

They reach the destination faster than Hunk could remember them ever doing— or maybe he'd blacked out a bit halfway there— and he is quickly stripped down to pinpoint his exact injuries.

Upon peeling the suit from Hunk's hands, Lance jerks back with a hiss. The skin there was raw, white and black and red all at once, and Lance could swear it was even still smoking, as if the energy was still coursing through Hunk's veins and singeing him from the inside out.

Lance steps away to settle his suddenly disturbed stomach, and Pidge offers him a comforting pat on the shoulder with one hand as she set up the pod with the other.

The others stayed relatively quiet and uneased until the time comes to place him in the pod. They gathered around him in an anxious semi-circle as the pod opened, releasing a flood of chilly smoke.

They'd gotten half of his limp body in the pod when he began to struggle.

"Wait, I—" He grunted, nearly breaking free of Coran's grip when Shiro grabbed his other side. Even with the two of them grappling at his shoulders, he was making a heavy headway breaking out of their grips. It took the combined efforts of both of them, plus Pidge's extra hands to push him completely in. The entire time, they tried to console the upset paladin, who had sobbed harder and harder the further in he was pushed, shaking like a autumn leaf in the middle of a rainstorm.

Lance's heart leapt to his throat. "He's... he's having a panic attack." He whispered. Then, louder, "He's panicking! Give him a little space, guys." He shoved his hands between the three and, in his haste, nearly tripped all of them over.

He would worry about the scolding he'd get later. For now, he turned all of his focus on Hunk and grabbed his shoulders, squeezing them tight. "It's gonna be fine, big guy. You won't even realize you were in there until we pull you out, okay?"

"I realize now." Hunk whimpered, and he was about two seconds from hyperventilating.

Lance shushed him, pressing a kiss against Hunk’s few uninjured knuckles. "It'll be over before you know it. We won't let anything else hurt you, yeah? I know you trust me, Hunky hunk. Yeah?"

Hunk hesitated for half a second before he nodded his head, sagging against Lance. He grunted as he bore most of the weight of his friend, but slowly ambled him back into the pod with the quick help of the others.

"I'll be right here when you wake up, and then we can go and do whatever you want, okay?"

Hunk mumbled an affirmation, and Lance stroked his thumbs across Hunk's eyes, wiping away the tears that clumped his eyelashes.

"See you in a tick."

Lance stepped back, pulling Keith along with him to let the pod shut securely and fill with whatever cold magic it had stored inside. He watched as Hunk got in one last good shudder before he was knocked out and set on the fast-track to Cure Town.

He can't seem to stop his shaking hands, and he pointedly ignores any looks his friends pass his way, no matter how worried they were.

Shiro walks past, placing his hand over Lance's head as he does. "Take some time to settle, you three."

Immediately, Lance shakes his head, accidentally jarring Shiro's hand from there. "I'm staying here. With Hunk."

A familiar red suit pops up next to him, and Keith nods his head. "Me, too."

Shiro's eyebrows pop up in surprise, but he doesn't deny them their request. "Alright, then."

His succeeding words get lost in the back of Lance's brain as he squeezes his hands tightly against his chest. Partly to stop them from shaking, but mostly to give him something else to focus on, so he doesn't burst out crying in front of everyone.

Shiro eventually leaves, though, with one last encouraging pat to his (and Keith's) shoulders. Pidge stays a bit longer, with Coran, to figure out when exactly Hunk would be exiting his cold prison.

They leave when Keith can't seem to stand it anymore, and holds out his hand for Lance to hold. It was a sudden, uncharacteristic gesture for them, but Coran and Pidge knew private moments when they saw it. Quietly, they left the boys to themselves.

They held hands until Hunk's pale color returned to its natural, beautifully brown hue.

 ---

 Hours later found the two in nearly the same position. Instead of standing, they sit back to back in front of the pod. Lance idly sips on a water pouch, and Keith fiddles with Altean weights. Their hands are still firmly tangled together, resting against the cold floor.

Once Keith jostles Lance for the umpteenth time that hour by switching weights, the blue paladin groans into the empty room.

"Stop it. You're gonna be so sweaty by the time he gets out."

Keith snorts at him, and Lance shakes his shoulder to throw him off balance. "I'm serious! Sweaty group hugs are gross."

"I'll go change, then."

"What— in like, the three seconds it takes for the pod to open?"

They bickered with each other until they both were red in the face, moving from sitting to standing to turning away from each other out of frustration. They didn’t hold hands again until the next hour, when Keith leaned over to lean against Lance’s shoulder and swiped at his eyes, almost furious at the way tears welled up in them. The two of them murmured soft apologies, just before they fell asleep.

 ---

 Halfway through Hunk’s healing cycle, the doors to the medbay open, and a perfectly fine, if not a bit groggy, Allura poked her head in.

She offered them soft smiles, stepping in fully as the two woke themselves up. “I was told I would find you both in here.”

“Couldn’t just leavy Hunk all alone.” Lance offered with a shrug of his shoulders. “He’d hate that.”

Allura wordlessly hummed, smoothing out her skirts to join them on the stairs, sitting on the free side of a yawning Keith.

For a moment, silence echoed around them. Not necessarily awkward, but very noticeable.

Then, Lance perked up, turning towards Allura. “We’re glad to see you’re alright, princess. No side effects from whatever they drugged you with?”

“Nothing but heavy limbs and a slight headache.” She promised. “Coran suggested I stay in bed, but…”

“You wanted to check on Hunk?”

She sent him a teasing smile. “He is my favorite paladin.”

Lance put a hand over his heart, obviously not offended at the statement even if he pretended. Hunk was everyone’s favorite paladin, after all.

“Do you know why we got attacked, anyway?” Keith spoke up, picking at his gloves. Already, he was awake and alert.

Allura tilted her head. “We haven’t been in contact with them yet, as far as I know. But I assume that it was just that we were in the wrong place at the wrong time. I’ll have to look into it, once everyone is up and at the ready.”

“So… it wasn’t because of Voltron?”

Allura shook her head. “Only technically? From what Coran told me, there were a few extremists that prefer the ‘safety’ of Galra rule, over the freedom that the current legislation was fighting for.” She sighed, tucking her hands under her legs as she looked up at the ceiling. “The attack most likely would have happened regardless, but we were good targets to hit.”

“They must have contacted the Galra, though. To have summoned that awful robeast thing.” Keith pointed out, cringing at the memory of it.

“I’m glad you all were able to get out of there without me transporting us.” Allura confessed. “I don’t even want to think about what would have happened if none of us were in uniform.” Something her father had been adamant about, back in the day. It never hurt to be prepared, even if only as a display of power.

Lance threw his hands in the air. “Everyone wants to attack a princess.”

She huffed at that, standing. “You don’t understand the half of it.” She motioned towards the pods. “I’m assuming you two will be sitting here through the night, waiting for him?”

Lance and Keith shared a glance, before the two of them nodded. “I’m sure he can’t wait to see my beautiful face.” Lance said, striking a pose that showcased his glowing features.

Allura hummed, walking up the handful of stairs back towards the door. “Of course. I’m glad to see you two are doing alright after the incident.”

Keith snorted at that, self-consciously rubbing at his eye. Neither of them mentioned the brief breakdown he’d had, between one cuddle and the next. Lance isn’t sure if he’d ever seen someone cry so hard, but here they were with him acting perfectly fine not even three hours later.

With that, Allura left them to their own devices. Lance stood, walking toward the pod to run his palm across the cool glass.

“It kind of sucks that we got attacked for that, though.” He mumbled. Advocating for freedom was a dangerous profession, apparently. But… at a basic level, he could understand where the rebels had come from, even if he didn’t agree with it.

Keith flopped against the ground, heaving a heavy sigh.

“Yeah.”

 ---

 Hours later, they woke to cold mist smacking them across the face from the pod they’d nestled underneath. Lance jerked, flopping backwards against the unforgiving ground, only to take Keith’s head to his gut when the latter groggily followed him down.

“I’m dead!” He shrieked, gripping his stomach once they recovered. Keith snorted, helping him up and hurrying off to the side of the opening pod. “And I told you that you wouldn’t have enough time to change once he came out.”

“He won’t care.” Keith argued back, self-consciously crossing his arms across his chest as if to hide any smells he was emitting.

Lance tsk’d. “Does my opinion not count?”

Before Keith could retaliate with something mean,  Hunk tumbled forward. The two boys caught him as best they could while he regained his footing and the feeling back in his limbs.

Hunk kept his eyes closed as he wiggled his repaired fingers, rolled his bruiseless shoulders, and stretched the kinks out his back.

Then, he hesitantly peeked open one eye and shot the two an embarrassed smile. “You were right.” He nudge Lance in the shoulder. “I barely noticed it when I fell asleep.”

Lance beamed at him and, unable to stop himself, wrapped his entire body as best he could around Hunk’s torso. “I’m so glad you’re alright, big guy.”

“Sorry for freaking out.” Hunk gestured Keith forward. When he hesitated, Lance snatched him up by the shoulders and tugged him in for a group hug.

“Don’t worry about it, Hunky. You were so brave.”

Keith nodded, face firmly buried against Hunk’s skin. The two shared a knowing grin, and they stayed like that for the longest. Keith, out of the two of them, was the most introspective. He was quiet and it took him a while to voice his feelings, but both Hunk and Lance would be there to listen once he got his thoughts sorted and in order.

(They were expecting a few tears before they finally went to bed, to be honest.)

Hunk began shuffling from foot to foot to regain feeling in his toes, easily bearing the weight of them both while they hugged out their emotions. It was actually very therapeutic.

Then, Keith slid away, and Lance followed shortly after.

“You ready to go lay down and cuddle the night away?” Lance shot them both some finger-guns. “How’s this sound: you, me, Mullet over there, and some fluffy Altean pillows?”

Hunk was ready to agree until Keith shot forward, almost literally smacking Lance’s hands down. “No way. He needs peace and quiet after all of that. We’re just going to walk him back to his room and make sure he’s comfortable, and then we’re leaving him alone.”

Lance sputtered, taking a step into Keith’s personal space. “Uh— I don’t think so. You and I both were more worried than… than… a worrywart, and now you just want to leave him by himself?” He pfft’d.

Keith took a matching step forward, and their foreheads nearly banged together. “He needs time to relax.” He shot back, and the two broke out into a heated argument over their decision. Hunk sighed, glancing up at the ceiling as if it had any answers for him.

Then, he cut between the two of them and kissed them soundly on the cheek. Almost immediately, their words died down, and Hunk gifted them with a beaming grin.

“How about we get something to eat first? And then we figure out what to do after.”

The two stuttered out embarrassed agreements, which honestly was the cutest thing Hunk had ever seen, and he wrapped them up in an even tighter hug than before as he dragged them off towards the kitchens for a well-deserved late night snack and some warm cuddles to last them through the night.

They ended up falling asleep in each other’s arms, heads knocked together on the couch with a bowl of crunchy, sweet snacks stuffed between their legs.

And— if he learned anything from this situation, Hunk was glad that it was this:

There was no better feeling than waking up with the two people you loved right there with you, safely nestled in your arms.

[lethargyspecialist]

Masks: the Leftovers, part 2: Throwing the Shark

In which our heroine’s sense of superiority is thoroughly vindicated by her teammates’ own immaturity, the ocean beckons, and a birthday surprise is ruined.

Dear Father, Well first up, I can’t hold my excitement in, thank you for the secret underwater base, even if it is a little smaller than I’m used to. Since it’s so remote and secret and everything, I’m guessing it’s officially off the books which means it officially hasn’t been seized so it’s still mine, right? I’m pretty sure that’s how it works. Anyway, I’m getting ahead of myself. The dumb alien ship lands us on a beach, for some reason. Yang’s alien girlfriend looks like a complete mess so I ask him if she’s meant to be that colour. He insists they’re just friends-of-friends. But he still puts his magic glowing hands all over her and declares that she’s been poisoned, in whatever fight happened before she crashed on my life. More importantly, it turns out Yang can use his weird life energy stuff to heal and never told me. I had to regenerate myself after I pulled that girder out of my leg when we fought that girder-themed guy last week, and it took hours. Now she’s all healed, Yang’s alien girlfriend immediately starts being mean to me. Well actually, I don’t remember who started it, or why, but I’m pretty sure it was her. So naturally I posture – the way you taught me! – and tell her she comes to my planet and starts being all superior at me and she really wants to challenge me here, in my element? She says what. I say, you know, my element, the ocean’s right here. I check behind me and the ocean is still right there. (I mean I know you’re the one with hydrokinesis or whatever but it still counts, right? If we did fight here, I’d totally have the advantage. That’s strategy.) But she’s still confused. I don’t think she understands, because she’s an alien and everything. The threat kind of fades out. It’s awkward. Yang, the coward, eyes us both weakly. He refuses to back me up and instead turns into a pile of sand (he can do that with his Infinite Powers I guess), shuffles into the ocean, then turns into a puddle of water to wait it out. What. The only other thing here is a rickety house some way down the beach, where some dude’s blasting crummy music - I don’t even have super hearing, but it’s reeeeeally annoying. So while Yang’s busy avoiding his responsibilities and being a bad mentor, the alien girl heads over there. I say fine, whatever, she can leave me too, I’ll handle myself over here. So I storm into her ship and press all the buttons in the hopes that I can either fly away, or screw things up for her, but it’s dead. Piece of junk. Which means I’ve got nothing better to do than follow her, I guess. So I can settle our score. Which I do! Very quickly. I catch up just in time to see her trying to be all friendly with the dude but he totally freaks out, which is refreshing after all the tiring reactions I get. I mock her for it, obviously, and she phases through the wall of the house, crying. Of course, this leaves me alone on this dumb beach, so I shout at the ocean to ask Yang if he’s done being jealous of my cool aquatic powers, and if he’s ready to come out now. Some random patch of ocean waves Yang’s notepad at me, threatening me with a bad report. (It looks pretty soggy. How does stuff like this even work with magical shapeshifting?). I tell the random patch of ocean that he’s being very cruel and unprofessional and he should at least shapeshift a face and come talk to me properly. He throws a tidal wave at me (Yang’s Infinite Powers are totally overpowered? And what does he think he’s going to achieve, attacking the sea-powered girl with seawater?). I break and part it perfectly with my tentacles, like a samurai or something. I think I manage to hit him too, wherever he is and whatever form he’s in, because I’m pretty sure I hear some pathetic spluttering from somewhere. Oh, also, there’s some kind of cybernetic laser shark washed up on the beach from the tidal wave, which I assume is Yang’s fault, or maybe even him shapeshifted, but I am 100% Done with this nonsense so I grab it and swing it around my head a few times. Then I fling it over the horizon and back into the ocean. It’s real satisfying. You know I said it was a laser shark? I was busy at the time, obviously, but it turns out it lasered its way through the walls and roof of the house while it was spinning. It kind of sucks that this seems to be a constant theme of Being a Hero but I’m gonna say it again, I can’t be held responsible for everything that happens with things I grab. Or throw. Or have thrown at me. I mean my superpower is tentacles, what do they want from me? I touch a lot of things. And like by definition if those things are Mine then I’m not going to be letting go of them, am I? So logically, that means the shark and the whole thing with the spacepod in the forest aren’t my fault. You can tell AEGIS that. So finally Yang decides to grow up and get out of the goddamn ocean (I mean it’s not like he has a legitimate reason, he doesn’t have to immerse himself occasionally to prevent his skin drying out or anything). And now we’re all in the loud guy’s beach house, because there’s nothing else remotely interesting around here. The guy’s now passed out drunk apparently, though maybe that’s the alien’s doing for all I know. The fridge is open so I casually streeeetch over and grab a bottle, because I deserve it. It’s been a rough morning, you know? I notice the alien girl actually already has a bottle of her own, so we toast on the sly because at least she’s got good instincts. Finally, the guy notices we’re here (I think Yang sucked the drunkenness out of him? Seems like a bad deal to me…) and asks us who we are and what we think we’re doing drinking. I tell him “I’m a goddamn hero and I just saved you from a laser shark, so you’re welcome and also I deserve this.” He stands silent for a second, which feels great. I figure I should press the attack and dust off the old intro – “I’m Cerata, scion of Dr Diluvian, and-” but he’s got his balance back and now he’s on his phone ignoring me, which is just rude. Turns out he’s a conspiracy theory nut who’s convinced he’s being watched. According to the alien girl, who read his phone’s mind or something. Or maybe just read his phone. Either way, we have this thing on Earth called “boundaries”. Obviously I don’t exactly care about his, but if she tries to read my phone, or somehow gets her little green hands on these letters, I swear I’ll throw her back into space. Anyway, now we’re all thinking about the cyber shark and, in hindsight, the big telescoping camera strapped to its back. Suspicious. I guess we were focused on the laser at the time. Yang’s apparently over his soggy tantrum now, because he decides to act like a leader again, and declares we’re going to investigate. It’s better than sticking around here, plus I’ll get to show off my awesome ocean powers somewhere other than grotty alleyways for once. He turns to me. “Doesn’t your dad do water stuff?” Seriously. Does my father, Doctor Diluvian, the world’s premier aquatic supervillain, do water stuff? Yeah, Yang, yeah he does. And so do I? In case you’ve forgotten? How about I go stick my head in the ocean and use my extremely sensitive chemoceptors to track the shark that I just threw very far away, a feat unimaginable to your puny baseline senses? Yang says he doesn’t know what that word means but yeah I should go do that. Ingrate. It’s been a while since my rhinophores (another word Yang doesn’t know, shame they’re not as dangerous as they sound, but they’re fun to have anyway) tasted water this clean, so far from the city, so there’s that at least. Plus when I’m in the ocean and the others aren’t, I can pretend they don’t exist. Plus, I did need to immerse myself sometime soon and this is much nicer than a bathtub. And this is a good excuse to do that without having to admit in front of Yang or the alien girl that I just need to go soak for a bit before we fly away. Once I’ve got a bearing, though, they fly the spacepod into the ocean (apparently it’s not broken now? and also seaworthy?) and I have to sit on the outside so I can still smell the damn shark while we follow it. Tracking a cyber-shark from the barest traces of heavy metals and other foreign chemicals on the ocean currents isn’t easy, but I do it anyway because I’m that good. Converting information from a sensory process that the others don’t have and literally can’t understand into directions they can follow also isn’t easy. In fact, that alien bitch gets impatient so she dives into my brain to pluck the information out for herself. (I knew she was a damn telepath when I first saw her. What if she’s been in my head already and I just didn’t notice? How can I possibly trust her?) That absolutely does it, so I ask her if she’s maybe thought about which of us can survive at the bottom of the ocean before she violated my mind like that. I’m this close to reaching through the hatch, grabbing her and throwing her out the back of the ship when she pushes a button and shuts me out of the cabin. I fume for a bit, and consider just swimming away and forgetting this mess. Then I feel Yang in my head, trying to calm me down, which is really just as bad and uninvited. Why can’t they just talk to me and be nice to me? I don’t think he realises how clumsy he is when he throws around random powers that he’s never used before, but I let him think he’s succeeded. I’ll hold it against him and bring it up some other time when he’s trying to paint himself as a saint. Finally, we track the shark to some kind of ocean-floor base. You know, like the kind you have, scattered around the world. It’s remarkably like one of ours, actually. I realise I never checked if the cyber shark had Fathom Labs insignia on it, but in my defence I was very angry and busy throwing my powers around at the time. Yang insists on going ahead in puddle form, and when we don’t see or hear any explosions for a couple of minutes, we follow with the ship. And use the submarine pen as it’s actually meant to be used, surfacing and stepping out onto the walkway like I own the place. Which, plot twist, it turns out I do. It was so good to hear your voice again, even in a recording. And so thoughtful of you to record that message in case I did find this place. I know it was meant to be a surprise for when I’m older, but I hope you’re proud of me for using my initiative now! I guess I just need to find out what kind of scum has crawled in here while you were gone, kick them out, and I can enjoy some small fraction of my birthright again. Naturally, the feeling is short-lived because Yang refuses to let me just have a moment, just one time, and he kills the shark. My shark! I say kill, I don’t actually know because with Yang’s Infinite Powers, who can tell what he did to the poor thing as it sat helpless in its shark cradle. I think he hacked it? Or absorbed it? Or both? Now he’s flopping around pretending to be some kind of sharkboy. What’s his deal today, with all the shapeshifting and muscling in on the ocean-themed stuff? Is he mocking me? Is he jealous? Does he finally accept that he should be my sidekick, rather than my mentor? Whatever. I’ll write to you again when I’ve liberated your base for you. And I’ll try not to break too much stuff while I’m at it, since for once everything around me is actually mine. Wish me luck! ~ Vikki