#dude this so self-indulgent >-<😳< /div> Explore tagged Tumblr posts

[amee-racle-ofmyown]

a whisper in the autumn wind

Heist!Mark x reader | Words: 1647 | Read on AO3

A chill racks your body as you and Mark make your way through the cool night. You mentally curse, wishing you were wearing more layers, though you know anything more wouldn't have fit under the tactical vest that sits snugly around your torso.

Your heist partner doesn't seem to notice you shiver, busy making sure the coast is clear before proceeding and gesturing for you to follow.

You do your best to keep pace with your friend's manoeuvres as he darts an odd pattern through the museum, triggering a bout of slight nausea that causes you to stop in your tracks.

‘Hey, keep up!’ Mark whisper-yells, turning around just in time to miss you steadying yourself after a wave of dizziness.

Somehow you make it the rest of the way without collapsing or being seen, but you're now all too aware of the fatigue in your muscles and the soreness in your throat. Meanwhile, your partner in crime carefully but swiftly wraps the stolen artefacts and slips them into his bag.

Your prize this time? A series of ancient tablets that you plan to sell to an illegal collector. You can't imagine what practical use someone would have for these, but at the end of the day, a job's a job and money is money.

It is only on your way out, that you feel the tell-tale itch in your nose that you have been dreading all evening.

As you scrunch up your face, Mark looks at you in confusion.

‘Buddy, you've been acting off all night, what's up with you? You good?’

You nod, desperately wanting to move on and for this to be over with.

The first couple of sneezes you manage to quell without too much fuss, but you can already feel a larger one threatening your nostrils.

While crouched behind a display, hiding from some guards, comes the point at which you can no longer hide that you're suppressing sneezes.

‘Alright, we are so close to being scot-free— hey what are you —? You're not sick are you? Really? Now?!’

Mark shakes his head back and forth with a string of frantically whispered "no"s as you fight your reflexes, but it's futile.

The sneeze that finally escapes you is resounding, and there is a beat of stunned silence and lack of movement from every party involved before you and Mark react first, bolting out the exit with the guards in pursuit.

It's a mad dash with a lot of ducking and diving, adrenaline probably the only thing keeping your body going, but by some miracle the two of you manage to lose them, eventually making it to where your getaway vehicle is parked some ways away so as to not be suspicious.

Piling into the passenger seat, exhaustion hits you all at once and you're thankful that Mark is the one driving. You pull off your gloves and hat and he does the same.

With no one following you, your partner drives cautiously in order to not draw any unwanted attention, careful to abide by traffic laws and always on the lookout for cops.

‘There's tissues and water in the glove box,’ he says after a few minutes, expression hard-lined and inscrutable, eyes focused on the road.

There's a thick tension in the car, uncharacteristically quiet save for the limited traffic outside and the rumble of the engine. You blow your nose, and it feels awkward in the silence, only broken on occasion by your sniffing. You take a sip of water, grateful for the coolness against your chapped lips and dry throat.

Eventually, you decide you don't want to endure the tension any longer, and you're too tired to let your little mishap turn into an argument; it was your fault, after all.

‘I'm sorry.’

Mark sighs. He glances at you, then back to the road.

‘It's okay. It's not your fault you're sick, it's just… Why didn't you tell me?’

‘Didn't want to ruin the heist.’ You laugh, but it's strained and weak, void of any real mirth or humour. ‘But I guess I kinda messed up on that anyway, huh?’

He lets out a small huff of laughter. ‘Yeah, no shit.’

You look down at your hands, folded in your lap.

‘Hey, it's not a big deal,’ he consoles. ‘We got what we came for and we didn't get caught. That's about as much as we can say for most of our heists.’

Your gaze stays downcast; he does make a good point, but it doesn't stop you from feeling a little guilty.

Mark must notice, because he reaches across to place a hand on your shoulder reassuringly, other hand still keeping the wheel steady.

You put your own hand over his, grateful for the comfort. You close your eyes and will away the growing dizziness and brain fog, the warmth from his now ungloved palm reassuring.

‘Look buddy, I need you to know I'm not mad or anything, just a bit upset that you didn't tell me in the first place… and annoyed at myself for not catching onto the fact sooner. I just thought… I thought you felt like you could be honest with me about this stuff.’

There's an undeniable hurt in his tone that makes you look up at him. He is still intently focused on the road ahead, despite there being rather few other people and cars out at this time of night, and you know it's out of choice — he takes his eyes off the streets in favour of looking your way for much longer than necessary when he wants to. Usually you'd chide him for doing so, but right now you can't help but wish he'd properly meet your eyes, just for a moment.

‘No – I can. I can tell you nearly everything, I – I'm sorry.’ You take a steadying breath, organising your thoughts. ‘You were just – really looking forward to this one, and there was no better day for it, everything lined up perfectly for us to go tonight. This stupid cold had to turn up and it started out as just a sore throat, no big deal, and well… I thought I could stick it out a little longer despite feeling like crap, but…’ You trail off, turning to look out the window as he approaches your shared base, returning his hand to the wheel.

He pulls up, setting the car to park, and finally turns his head to fully face you, placing a hand on your knee to get your attention.

He says your name, and it sounds like a term of endearment. For someone so bold and often brash, he can be surprisingly tender, a side of him that rarely anyone but you gets to see. ‘I rely on you, and you can rely on me… but part of that means we have to tell each other these things.’

‘Yeah, OK…’

‘Pinky promise?’

‘What are you, five?’

‘I'm serious,’ he says firmly, holding out his finger to emphasise the point.

Smiling, you hook your pinky around his own and shake on it, but not without rolling your eyes first.

‘Good,’ he says, pleased. ‘Now that that's settled, let's get inside, hm?’

While Mark retrieves the loot and stows it for the time being, you let yourself in, settling on the small couch in the living room. You take off your shoes and unzip your vest, easing it off your aching limbs.

The nausea and dizziness seems to have passed but you feel hot, yet a little shivery, and you're on the verge of nodding off when Mark appears in front of you, pressing the back of his hand to your forehead. If it's even possible, you feel incrementally hotter with his touch as you return his concerned gaze through sleepy, half-lidded eyes.

‘I think you've got a fever, bud. C'mon, time for bed.’

You groan in protest, too drained to move, instead letting your head fall forward to plop against his chest, the soft texture of his plain black sweater a comforting feel against your fevered skin.

‘Oh boy, what am I gonna do with you…?’ he murmurs, bringing a hand up to pat your hair. He speaks softly, and with such affection that your heart would probably be doing somersaults if you weren't so tired and ill.

‘Alright, upsy-daisy.’ In one quick motion, he picks you up, carrying you bridal style to your room, and for once you don't object.

‘Hey, you better not make me sick too,’ he warns without an ounce of actual distaste, as you practically nuzzle your face into him.

He gently lays you in bed, tucking covers around you.

‘I'll be right back.’

You instantly miss his presence, tugging the blanket up a little around yourself.

He returns before long with a box of tissues, the bottle of water you'd been drinking and some painkillers, leaving them by your bedside. He places a wet face cloth beside you as well.

‘I know you're probably feeling cold but I don't want your temperature to get too high, so use this, and keep drinking water.’

You nod, about ready to drift to sleep.

‘Call me if you need anything, OK? I won't be far.’

‘Don't you want to sleep?’

‘I will in a little while, but you can still call me.’

‘Ok,’ you reply appreciatively. ‘Thanks for… looking after me.’

‘Someone's got to.’ He smiles at you gently, brushing a stray strand of hair from your face.

After a pause, he gets up to leave, pulling the door closed but leaving a gap the width of his face.

‘Rest up, buddy.’

He makes a quick kissing sound in your direction before shutting the door fully, his footsteps receding down the hallway.

Your face feels very warm.

Must be the fever, you think, placing the towel on your forehead with a yawn, before swiftly falling asleep.

[termagax]

i hate when people make him insecure but i do love when people make him easily flustered. theres a difference but too many of youse on internet dot com conflate the two.

[delphi-dreamin]

Shitty summary of your blog:

Full of self indulgent smut pieces about fucking some tired old dude and a really horny fem boy.

BATH TUB

MIRROR

DESK

HOT (very hot drawings)

😘😘😘💕

God, you're so right. 😳

But y'know what?

*whispering* You keep reading them! 😘

[lavender-annd-lilac]

Early New Year’s resolution: try to leave THREE (3) actual comments before getting on to the self indulgent wisecracks let’s goooo 🤠

1.) I gotta give it to her, reader has some unwavering focus when she has a goal in mind. I mean yeah it the goals seems to come from a place of low self esteem, but the determination is there.

2.) Lloyd is the straight up chaotic evil character in a dnd campaign. Unfortunately, his shit is pretty entertaining (to me lol)… like give the villain a few good quips and I’ll low key root for them (to have more dialogue). See also: Loki

3.) Colin seems… idk if he immediately assumed his wife cheated on him bc he’s insecure about himself/the relationship, or he’s just one of those guys that think all women are ~jezebels

MST3K style commentary under the cut 🙈

wrap the gift

Wrap??? Lady, may I introduce u to… the gift bag?

As you close the trunk, a hand slaps down on the metal,

“Shut the fuck up,” you snap as you swing your door open.

Don’t make me call my girl Kelsey 😤😤😤

He bends down and taps on the window with his knuckles.

Spray him with that window anti freeze washer stuff!!! (I don’t have a car lol what is this function called??? 😫)

He slips out his leather wallet and plucks out a bill. He waves it in the air.

THIS IS SO UNHINGED. Sir, this is a parking lot not a fucking Chippendales so put your stripper money away 😒

You hit the gas, lurching forward so he staggers away.

This is why u need those zombie cars from The Walking Dead with like pitchforks attached to the front

He drops the bill and stomps his foot as he stops.

Ok… I’m not like living in extreme poverty or anything but u bet ur ass I’d circle around the block and then come back to retrieve this money 😳

“Woah, woah, baby, I’m tryna apologise here.”

Oh wait… nvm 😩

"You need a new car and you're buying me a watch," he sighs.

Wait.. not to be like “how much could a banana cost, Michael”, but are these things equivalent in price? Like, I know watches can be expensive but like dang. Imagine wearing a jeep on your wrist lol

"Can I help you, bozo?" The stranger replies, "who the fuck are you?"

I’m losing it lmao 🤣 yes yes he’s the villain here but I love this idgaf energy. Like, the next time a pushy salesperson (not Kelsey, obvi) says “can I help u” for the third time I’m going to say this EXACT thing in my head bc I’m deathly afraid of confrontation

"Husband? Baby, you didn't mention a husband. Oh, look at that, you put your ring back on,"

Wow he trained at UCB huh… some impressive improv going on here.

"Don't worry about paying me back, baby, the old man looks like he needs something snappy,"

She should have yes and-ed him tbh until it escalated to such a bizarre and obviously comedic scenario

"You fucking this dude?" Colin exclaims as he stands, "is that where you got the money?"

So hypothetically, if she was fucking him, would it make a difference if she got paid for it? I mean, from a husband perspective, is that really your primary concern when u think ur wife potentially cheated on u? lol

"Someone's gotta," the man taunts.

It’s the snappy comebacks for me fam 👌

"She calls me daddy," the guy snickers

Wait he’s a Harvard alum right? Maybe he wrote for the Lampoon 🤷‍♀️ Makes sense since SNL loves their Harvard boys

Tina Fey knows what’s up

Colin turns to shove him, nearly sending him into the next table. Half the restaurant stares in your direction.

3 kinds of ppl here:

Those who pretend they aren’t looking:

Those looking around awkwardly:

And me:

"Give him the fucking watch!" Colin growls

Lmaooo I feel like this is such a bitch boy perspective. He’s like, u might have cheated on me, but if u return this watch at least u won’t be a whore 😂 the idea of ur partner being a sex worker is somehow worse than them being a regular ol’ cheater lol

You don't understand what just happened

Me neither sis. Haha imagine if he just goes around doing this shit so he can crush his SNL audition or something lmao

Unsolicited 2

Warnings: bad self-thought/talk, bullying, insults, low self-esteem, money problems, more dark elements to come.

Wouldn't mind some feedback! Lloyd was driving me nuts so I had to do it. Thank you in advance 💜

On your way out, you stop and grab a few groceries to justify your trip to the mall. You still have a lot to do when you get home and your mind’s already three steps ahead; tidy up, put everything away, wrap the gift, and the most tedious task of getting yourself done up. The reservation you made a week ago fills you with dread.

You pop the trunk and drop in the bags, tucking the watch safely between them. As you close the trunk, a hand slaps down on the metal, startling you. It’s him, that man.

“Excuse me,” he steps closer and you back away, “try not to dirty my car.”

You frown as he gets nearer and side steps you. You look around at the Lexus parked just behind your beat up Neesan. Fuck, really?

You huff and shake your head as you skirt around to the driver’s side, “you take that watch back for grocery money or–” You ignore him as you unlock the car door, “I got some spare change in my glove compartment if you really need the gas money.”

“Shut the fuck up,” you snap as you swing your door open.

“I might even take my wallet out if you take the coat off. Heave up the tits and–”

You growl and drop into the seat. Before you can slam the door, it’s caught and you look up at the man as his hand holds it back. Panic thumps in your chest and you pull on the handle frantically.

“What the fuck– get–” You hit the horn with your other hand, “help–”

“Oh, shut up,” he snarls and lets the door go. It snaps closed and you jolt in the seat.

He bends down and taps on the window with his knuckles. You ignore him as you hit the lock switch and fumble with your keys. Why won’t he leave you alone? You twist the ignition and the engine chuffs to life.

He steps in front of your car as he reaches under his jacket. He slips out his leather wallet and plucks out a bill. He waves it in the air.

“How about a backseat handie, babe?” You hit your horn again and he winces, covering his ears, “fuck! It’s the best offer you’ll get.”

You hit the gas, lurching forward so he staggers away. He drops the bill and stomps his foot as he stops.

“Woah, woah, baby, I’m tryna apologise here.”

“Get the fuck out of my way,” you holler through the windshield, “now!”

You let off the break again and he stumbles out of your path. You roll on and he kicks the side of your car. You squeeze the wheel as your adrenaline pumps through your veins. As you steer between the rows of vehicles, your tears spill out at last.

You idle at the end of the column and take out your phone. You check your rearview. There’s no one behind you. Still, it’s good to be prepared. Just in case.

You breathe out and leave your phone unlocked in the passenger’s seat. You put your hands back on the wheel and continue through the lot, finding the nearest exit as you keep checking your side and rear mirrors.

As you turn onto the street, you see a flash of dark blue, the same shade as the Lexus. You putter at the red light and look over your shoulder then check your mirror again. It’s not there. You’re paranoid.

You wipe your face and sniff up your fear. You just want to get home and get everything sorted out. It was just one very strange, upsetting encounter. You aren’t going to let it ruin Colin’s surprise.

💎

"Babe, did I tell you how hot you look?" Colin purrs as he pulls out your chair.

You blush, touching your warm cheeks as you sit. You thank him as he sits across from you, the hostess handing out menus and reciting the specials. She leaves you to peruse as you hold your purse anxiously in your lap.

"Getting ready to go so soon?" Colin kids as he watches you wring the strap.

"N-no, no," you say, still uneasy.

You just want to give him his gift. It's what today's all been about yet that shadow follows you, the man from the jewelry shop calling out your extra rolls like you don't already know. At least your husband's kind enough to act like they don't exist.

"This place is nice," he says, "new job hasn't started yet."

"I know, it's my treat," you teeter on the edge of your seat "I've been saving and I just want you to know that I love you."

"Of course I know that–"

"No, no, I wanna show you and I wanna be better. I'm gonna be more active and keep up with things better," you chew your lip and unzip your purse, the fabric chafing your hips as you're reminded of the too small dress pinching your skin, "and I picked up some extra shifts."

You dig your hand in your bag and take out the wrapped box. The shiny green paper catching the chandelier above your table. You put it in front of him and sit back.

"I'm proud of you. Your new job, how you take care of me…"

"What…"

"Just open it," you insist, "please."

He chuckles and looks around, "I hope you didn't spend too much. It's been tight."

"It's not from our account, I've been saving, just don't worry about that."

"Alright, alright," he traces along a fold and jams his thumb underneath. He tears through and your anticipation has you vibrating.

As he pulls away the paper he turns the box over. He sees the jeweler's logo and gives pause, sending a look in your direction. His cheek twitches and he pops open the lid on its hinges.

"Gotta be spiffy for the new job," you say, "do you like it?"

He stares and for a moment, you're scared.

"I love it, but it must've been so expensive."

"No, no, I got a good deal and even added on the insurance so you can get it cleaned–"

"You need a new car and you're buying me a watch," he sighs.

"Colin, I–"

"I know, I know, it's amazing, babe, you're amazing but…" he looks up and his throat bobs, "what did I do to deserve you?"

"Me? What about you? You're–"

Your name interrupts your sentence. You freeze, the timbre throwing you off. You furrow your brow as Colin gives an equally confused look. You slowly look over as a man steps up beside you. It's that man. How does he know who you are?

"Hi, can I help you?" Colin interjects.

"Can I help you, bozo?" The stranger replies, "who the fuck are you?"

"I– I'm her husband, who the fuck are you?" Colin shifts in his seat.

"Husband? Baby, you didn't mention a husband. Oh, look at that, you put your ring back on," the man continues.

"What? No, huh?" You sputter, "would you just go–"

"Babe, who is this?" Colin asks.

"I don't know, he–"

"Don't worry about paying me back, baby, the old man looks like he needs something snappy," he winks at Colin, "jeez, wish you'd said something, I'd have been more subtle–"

"You fucking this dude?" Colin exclaims as he stands, "is that where you got the money?" He throws the watch down and injects himself between the table and the stranger, "you're fucking my goddamn wife?"

"Someone's gotta," the man taunts.

"No, no– I don't know him. He--" you grab Colin's arm and he rips away from you, "please, listen to me, he's just some jerk from the store–"

"And how does he know your name?"

"I don't know. I don't even know who he is, please. I–"

"She calls me daddy," the guy snickers and Colin turns to shove him, nearly sending him into the next table. Half the restaurant stares in your direction.

"Give him the fucking watch!" Colin growls at you, "fucking slut."

He grabs his jacket and storms out. You blink dumbly and turn to snatch your purse. The man moves into your path before you can follow your husband.

"Who are you? Why are you doing this?" You rasp.

"Like I said, you can call me daddy," he flicks your chin, "Lloyd works too."

You sneer and elbow past him, flinching as his hand bounces off your ass. You don't look back as you hurry away, desperate to catch up to Colin before he's gone. You don't understand what just happened.

[blujayonthewing]

me four years ago: omg how did I end up unironically shipping two of my own PCs from completely different campaigns, how embarrassing...

me now: [devising a self indulgent crossover meetcute with a new PC before I've even finished filling in his character sheet]

[sitp-recs]

Hidden Gems by @lqtraintracks

Happy happy birthday LQT! You’ve been a dear friend for some time, and a gem of an author I’ve admired for even longer. After many recs and lists I loved the challenge of coming up with new ideas to celebrate you! I hope this little gift makes your smile. I am particularly proud of this banner btw - not that anyone asked but my inspiration (beyond the shining gems) was LQT’s connection to music, my love for the brilliant and breathtaking Teddy/Bill & Teddy/James like the lost lyrics of a song suddenly remembered (watch me sneakily adding recs that didn’t make to this list!!’) and also, I love how guitar aesthetics resemble feminine curves which is of course a subtle nod to LQT’s equally brilliant and sexy femslash catalogue. Thank you for being you, this warm, passionate and gentle soul, for being such a role model in this fandom and a caring, generous friend! We’re all lucky to have you here 💜

As everyone knows LQT is incredibly prolific and talented, and there’s SO MUCH to explore in their catalogue. I want to highlight a few short fics that didn’t get a lot of buzz over the years that I personally love and might have gone under most people’s radar, including both Drarry and rare pairs of course. Here’s a mix of tropes and ships that showcase their brilliant mind and versatility, not to mention the inimitable talent for self-indulgent smut!!! No one explores pleasure + tender vulnerability in PWPs like LQT and I’m sure everyone will be able to find something kinky special to meet their tastes. Don’t forget to give these shorts some love, and feel free to reblog this adding your own LQT favorites!

Drarry:

Into You Like a Bludger (E, 500 words) - one of the best drabbles I’ve ever read, so much character and story within 500 words! Watch smitten Draco finally get what he wants deserves through everyone’s knowing eyes.

Everybody knows that Draco wants Harry loves the Appleby Arrows.

Finite Incantatem (E, 1.8k) - I live for this brand of fuck buddies with banter!!! Scorching hot with delightful dialogue, plus bondage and come play, we love to see it!!

Quidditch star, Harry Potter; Auror, Draco Malfoy; alcohol. Is it any wonder they can't keep their hands mouths off each other?

Duel (E, 2.2k) - I’m a simple woman who cannot resist this delicious combo of Headmaster Harry, shower sex and armpit kink okay 😳 here’s peak humor, intense fucking and sweet vulnerability underneath it all, as per!

Harry is headmaster of Hogwarts. The last thing he needs is yet another Malfoy obsession running his life. He needs his work and his wanking, and he'll be fine.

On Your Way (M, 2.4k) - one of my favourite comfort fics, soft lovers reunited and all that tenderness and sweet domesticity I love so much! Auror Harry, Professor Draco, Headmistress Hermione, love this life for them!

Draco waits for Harry to return from an Auror mission.

Make Whole the Ruined (E, 2.6k) - scar worship my beloved! A poignant and gorgeous Draco POV, really lovely characterization and scorching smut feat. bondage and spanking as we deserve!

How to explain that even though they'd never offered me any sensation before, good or bad, when Potter touches them, I'm electrified with the possibilities?

Rare pairs:

Worth It (E, 1k) - jfc exhibitionist Narcissa fucking all the young dudes at the Knight Bus under Ernie’s hungry gaze is so much hotter than I imagined, this is sinful🔥

Narcissa likes to slum it on the Knight Bus during the summer months when all those delectable boys are out of Hogwarts. At least, I think that's what's going on; it's all Ern pov. Cw: underage

Anything to Hide (T, 1.1k) - love this Harry/Teddy, superb 1st person POV, pining Harry, so much UST and longing I can barely breathe, plus a hopeful ending!

Harry struggles to be a good godfather on the 9 3/4. Cw: underage

Afterimage (E, 1.7k) - LQT made me see Ginny/Ron in a whole new light with Where Does It Hurt? and Afterimage just intensified the blow with unexpected devastation and melancholy. There’s heat, desperation and heartbreak all mixed with the irresistible wrongness of it all, yum!

Ron comes home drunk (again); Ginny takes care of him. Again. Cw: incest, drunk sex

90 Seconds (E, 1.8k) - sweet and delicious Harry/Teddy est relationship, I am obsessed with this playful Teddy teasing Harry in front of everyone! So very tender, extra bonus points for hot metamorphmagus sex!!!

It's Harry's birthday, and Teddy has teased him one too many times.

Rites of Passage (E, 2k) - a gorgeous and sexy string of little vignettes exploring Hermione & Millie’s relationship as they experience sex and feelings. Perfect storytelling, satisfying emotional arc and a lovely Millie voice!

Millicent and Hermione start an affair during eighth year.

Sirius' Mark (E, 2k) - one of my fave dirtybadwrong Sirry fics, deliciously kinky and emotionally devastating. A complex and brilliant exploration of how past relationships can haunt and define our lives forever. Endgame Drarry

They may only be together a few months, but the mark Sirius leaves on Harry's life will last. Cw: underage, MCD

Meant to Last (E, 2.4k) - incredibly hot Ron/Pansy with excellent smut and superb characterization, I love their voices and the intense heat, not to mention the gorgeous ending! Background Drarry as a treat

She was brutal in her love and in her hatred. God help whoever became the object of either one.

Sugar Wanna Kill Me Yet (E, 3k) - I don’t read Draco/Teddy often but this one is so excellent! I love their secret affair, the dynamics and the subtle angst explored through the metamorphmagus sex. That belt fastening scene still lives rent free in my mind…

This is their dance. This is their push and pull. This is how they move through life: Testing the people that purport to love them. Filling in the gaps. Looking for what's missing. Picking up the pieces. And what a fucking hot piece Draco has found in Teddy.

Nipple Clamps and Cinnamon Buns (E, 4.5k) - oof hands down one of the hottest Sirry fics I’ve ever read, kinky and tender with delicious wall sex, very creative sex toys and voyeur Remus, yes please!!!

In which Sirius is horny, Remus is scandalized, Harry is sort of caught in the middle, and everyone else is oblivious. Happy Christmas! Cw: underage

Like Love Itself (E, 5.3k) - superb angsty Al/James that hits me right in the feels. The devotion! The yearning! A sexy, tender and melancholy look into the tragedy that is falling in love with the one you love the most, a story only made possible due to LQT’s heartfelt and delicate writing.

Albus has spent his whole life chasing after James. It never occurred to him James might want to be caught.

[widowswineapologist]

Hello again and I hope your 2022 is happy and healthy!❤️ I am in self-shipping hell (Tank and Edward are playing tug of war and I’m stuck in the middle of it help) Could you please write Ultimis Tank and Primis Richtofen mushy headcanons of their s/o cheering them up on a bad day?

AAAA SORRY FOR THE LATE REPLY I DELETED TUMBLR FOR A LIL WHILE BC I HAD NO SPACE ON MY PHONE-- I HOPE THESE R OKAY!!

warnings: uhhh depression nd slight suggestiveness. Also i did not proofread bc fuck that

Ultimis Dempsey:

- Okay honestly I think he's such a bitch whenever he's having a bad day. His sarcasm and overall assholery is amped up to 10. Probably gets into a lot of arguments with the crew too.

- Luckily for everyone else, you're Dempsey's pride and joy whether he's angry or not and he literally cannot help but smile at you whenever you try to cheer him up.

- He'll try to keep that gruff, tough dude persona when you start cracking jokes or being extremely sweet to him but the facade will just break after a few minutes.

- Tank totally does that thing where he cracks a smile and gets mad about it so he looks away from you.

- Literally say some stupid shit and he'll lose his fucking mind and then his mood is back to normal. You could just do some absolutely god awful impression of somebody and he'll straight up bust out laughing, it'll be cute. Do a horrible impression of one of your teammates and he'll join in. Needless to say, you both will throw SO MUCH SHADE.

- I think he would appreciate being distracted rather than directly comforted when he's having a bad day, yknow? But that isn't to say he won't appreciate a good hug or two. Just...not too many, okay? He's got a reputation to uphold.

- I personally think he's a little awkward with comforting people but he will definitely try to return the favor, to show his appreciation because we all know for a fact this motherfucker will be caught DEAD before he says "thank you for cheering me up" out loud.

- Also also,, there's another way to cheer him up if you're up for it 😳

Primis Richtofen:

- okay but when is he not having a bad day fr fr

- I imagine he's a lot more somber than Tank, but that isn't to say he ISN'T snappy. You know how bo4 Primis Richtofen is just a dick to everyone? He's prolly like that (cant blame him tho. imagine finding out everything u've been working so hard for is worthless nd ur crew wont care abt u even if u sacrifice urself to save their musty asses)

- He canonically has meltdowns (would they be called panic attacks? I've never had one b4 so I wouldn't know--) so I imagine he'd probably try to hide how he's feeling from you for the longest time bc he has to keep up that facade of he knows everything and has to do everything.

- You'd probably find out when looking for him around the grounds and you find him huddled in a corner sobbing and hyperventilating.

- Surprisingly, he'll let you hug him then. But get ready to be nearly crushed bc he's clinging to you and wont let go until he has no tears left to cry.

- Cheering him up is a difficult task bc he'll never truly feel better, but indulging him in his scientific ramblings, joking around with him, or offering to lighten his workload will make him feel better.

- But I think he'd catch onto what you're doing real quick, especially if you start asking abt wonder weapons to him so he can ramble his little heart out.

- I swear if he didn't love you before then, he would fall head over heels now. You're...going out of your way to cheer him up? When you have your own issues to deal with? Brb he's planning a impromptu wedding rn

- He won't ever forget it, and though he may be a little awkward himself, he'll definitely try to be there whenever you're having a bad day too <3

[derelictheretic]

wip time again 👀

Thank you for tagging me @scungilliwoman and @adelaidedrubman I appreciate y'all 🥺💕

Tagging: @trashcatsnark @aceghosts @shellibisshe @gamer-purgatory @hoesephseed @rejected-beater @johnnycranes and anyone else who would like to share a wip <3

This!! Is a very self indulgent wip I'm doing for a prompt I got on my other blog and It uhhhhh is very nsfw so read with caution 😳

(just another small 'warning'(?) my dep is a trans dude with a vagina, if that makes anyone uncomfy pls feel free to skip this one!!)

"Tell me you want me," He almost begs against Dean's lips, breath shuddering as Dean pulls back his boxers, letting his hard on hang in their air twitching with want. Dean pushes himself up to kiss John, hips grinding onto John's hand in a steady rhythm as the tension in his lower body starts becoming almost unbearable and all the attention John was giving his clit was quickly sending him over the edge.

"I want you,"

John groans as Dean gasps the words against his mouth, his hips stuttering and thighs spasming as he's hit with his orgasm. He even gifts John with one of those blissful whines as he squirms and shudders underneath him, his hips bucking and teeth sinking into his bottom lip as he holds onto John like he was a life raft. John soaks in the sight greedily, enjoying the feeling of Dean throbbing and tensing around his fingers and wishing so badly it was his cock buried inside him instead.

"I want you, I want you—I want you so bad, John, fuck!" Dean cries out as he finds his voice again, chest heaving with effort as he rides out his high. His hand wraps around John's shaft needily and John bucks his hips into his hand instantly, having gotten Dean off making him all the more ready to get to his own release.

[moomoorare]

Dream SMP Art🎭

Lots of stuff:

something about the deities of the dsmp taking form of the first human they see

an Ⓐⓛⓘⓔⓝ🛸 and a 𝔽𝕒𝕚𝕣𝕪🌹

C!purpled

demon c!Eryn & demon c!Tommy

Them demon kids

Michael and his chicken <33

Fashion Stars ☆✧✯✷

a group of cool miners ⛏️💎

Primeboys

i watch the exile vods a normal amount ☺️

hey tommy.

Bee Duo

✧ Posin' ✿

They're having a wonderful time on holidays and they're all more or less alive yeppp ^_^

Bee Duo & Michael <3, to heal the soul

^_^ Benson! & <3 locket

Bench Trio

They're watching.

SBI

Wholesome SBI!!! 3/4 cus philza is like out dealing crack or something idk.

The boiss

4/4 SBI POGGERS!!!

c!Tommy LGBTQ 1 / 2 🏳️‍🌈

TommyInnit

on the grass, tears

Some Exile arc art, nothing special

Sad Boy, pogtopia outfit i guess

demon c!tommy is my jam >:3

Pogtopia times

White Braid Hair

Blah blah

Rat

cTommy advertises my art

Just a littol boi, a smol long scrunkie⭐

Just practicing art, he talks!

*Hands u this* Rascal Bastard <3

He looks like he's about to go to the gym lmao

I've been on a drawing spree, he keeps coming up so you can have him <3✨

Chilling in the front yard, in the morning when there's silence

Frowne :\

Happy Boy :D !!⭐✨☀️

Drawing this Bitch again<3

[ he ] visited, [ he ] left a gift, a nod to past times and a promise for the future. smile :)

winter is coming..

In a chest somewhere, taken out again to see the light, appreciated in silence. ◝✺◜

This asshole >:V <333

Chatting up to thin air

Littol doodol of yellow moobloom c!Tommy💛

Zombieinnit for Halloween, even if a bit late

Star eyes⭐, sunset hair🌇, autumn clothes🍂.

Demon Boy finds a stuffed cow in a field

We love pain, let's give him more

>:v

Hair changes, eyes like gemstones

I think he looks swell

Inspired outfit from this post

Quick sketch

Tubbo

lot of floof, a little ring and a peculiar bandana <3

I think c!Tubbo deserves a big ass bandana as well to snuggle up and hide his snoot ^_^

New Horns !!

Gratuitous doodle of c!Tubbo :3

Ring <3

Bandana!! Kiss my ass if you think it clashes ;)

Scrncikle Primclke<3 Turbo from the side ☆❀☢

Sad Bee Boee :(

New super improved Bee Boy design

Ranboo

Kity dead, i repeat deadest cat ever, he died 😔

Ok have my new cranboo design, punch him too if you'd like ^_^

[he AMGY]

Practicing his design, i really like it :3

The Boobster >:]

Eryn

Just a lad

Dream

Creepy Smileys . .. .

He really said (๑•‿O๑)

i want to kick him in the face so bad, just a swing 🤪😘☺️

new c!dream design just dropped

Captain Puffy

she has. Dimples 😳 and!!! Shorter hair 🥰

she's pissed off, looks comfy tho

I'm the gayest motherfucker on this earth, cPuffy brainrot!!!! 🥰🥰🌈🌠

I fucking love her dude🥰

She thinks you can do it! <3 ^_^

c!Captain Puffy, but the design is tweaked :)

Her <3333

For every day that c!puffy exists i get gayer and gayer 🌈

Captain Puffy !!! (◕ᴗ◕✿)

🥰🌈💝 (she↑☺️🥺😳)

New Puffy Design <3

Practicing c!Puffy

Close up :3 of the Puff Puff ✯

Puff Puff! It's the Captain! Her <33

Caption Puffer <3

Red Banquet Puffy ❤️

Technoblade

Very self-indulgent doodle of c!Techno with short hair, me love <33

another c!Techno doodle

cTechno doodle

c!techno pose practice

Hannaxxrose

tbh just an excuse to draw her :3

Practicing my c!Hannah design

Fairy Power, Roses and Thorns, a Flower.

Eret fanart

Thy liege 👑

TinaKitten fanart

Welcome to the smp Tina Kitten! ^_^

[asparagus-in-a-cup]

its MY F/O list and I kinda wanna set it on fire 🔥🔥🔥

I had to force myself to Not Care bc god forbid we do anything simple in this house.. 🙄

Anyways: sharing. uhh I'm not too familiar with the concept; I've been told that like. its not caring whether someone else shares the same f/o as you I think? I'm not too sure, but I'd like to say that I. dont really care that much.

Self shipping used to be a pretty big coping mechanism for me in my early teens but I kinda stopped doing it after awhile. Now that I dont really need it to cope, its more of an indulgence now.

That being said, I will proceed to be Full Cringe and Full Cringe Only now get out /j

be prepared bc this is probably going to be. Unorganized and I've anxiously been sitting on it for months and I just. Dont want to care about it atm. I might fix it later.

Also literally like. I have so many different relationships with every character my dude so uhh fair warning abt that. if that ever comes up :P im not like. labeling my relationships with these characters really bc. yeah.

Anyways,,!

Fuck You My Child Is Completely Fine

The OG F/Os and Senior Partners of Mar's Sanity :D

Creepypasta

- Jeff the Killer

- Lulu

- Eyeless Jack (he stole my kidney -_-)

- fuck which one was it that the fandom decided they literally ONLY ate cheesecake??? was that EJ or Toby... mighta been Masky... god, its been awhile

- Laughing Jack/Laughing Jill

- Ben Drowned

- I'm conflicted is Dark Link a Creepypasta??

- Hobo-Heart my beloved 😩

The Legend of Zelda

- Link (literally almost every variation,, and also Dark Link :P)

- Sheik

- Midna (what? she's a milf what do you expect)

- Impa (specifically skyward sword and hyrule heroes 👀)

- G-Ganon... 👉👈 (I could take em- oh he mean in a fight 😳)

- GIRAHIM NO I DO NOT TAKE CRITICISM

- I think those were pretty much my mains... I'm probably forgetting a few

By Talos This Can't Be Fucking Happening

The New Ones..

Security Breach/fnaf series :P

- MONTY MONTY MONTY!!!

- Glam!Freddy!! :DD he's dad-shaped ok

- Glam!Bonnie 👉👈

- Glam!Chica

- Roxy

- Vannessa

- Lowkey Vanny too tho ;-;

- GREGORY MY FERAL CHILD WHAT ARE YOU DOING

- Sun/Moon but not in a horni way like. I Need a Nap lol

- (and none for Foxy, bye)

- (the puppet really be getting me in my feelings tho fr 🥺)

- (also rip the fnaf ogs ig sorry i dont fuck animatronics stuffed with dead children k thx)

Carmen Sandiego (reboot)

- Carmen (duh, we stan in this household)

- GRAHAM

- Tigress, ugh 😩

- Paperstar dont tempt me

- whatever tf Shadowsan and Lady Dokuso got going on 👀

She-ra (reboot)

- Adora/She-ra (another icon, we stan)

- Catra

- Scorpia

- Entrapta maybe??

- Hordak

- Horde Prime

- I'm a villain-fucker what can I say :P

DRAGON AGE INQUISITION HNNNG

- Dorian 🥺🥺🥺

- Iron Bull 🥺🥺🥺

- SERA!!! (the skrunly 🥺)

- Varic. Love that bastard

- H-hawke??? My mans just? showed up in the Fade to come save our asses?? Very sexy of him tbh

- Josephine 🥺🥺🥺

- CASSANDRA HOLY SHIT *swoon* (my straight girl crush ToT)

- F-fenris... (I havent played his game series tho, i just think he's neat..)

- Solas you stinky stinky rotten egg man (I cant believe I wasted my first three playthroughs on you -_-)

- Blackwall (*stands here with a 'WELCOME HOME CHEATER LIAR' sign*)

- Cullen (not a bad romance route... the best part was the dogs. I wanted dogs but SOMEONE had to go fuck it all up -_- looking at you, Warden yes this was ages ago yes I'm still. Very salty)

hhhhh theres probably more I'm forgetting I'll probably update this intermittently or something :P

ha maybe i should revamp my old S/Is or something

[sonder-paradise]

Oooh you finished Julian's route? Did you get the reversed or upright end? General thoughts? Favourite moments?

Sorry, I'm just so excited that someone I know plays the arcana too ^^

I got the upright ending :D and it currently trying to get the reversed one but I’m also too lazy to go back and replay some of them lmaoo

Hm I liked his storyline a lot actually :0 I think there were a lot of parts that were rather… self-indulgent and I bent over backwards to select those options- let’s just says this company is $20-30 richer 🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️

But his character development was absolutely lovely and I adored his character in and out of the story. He’s very charming and charismatic but also willing to do anything and everything to please the people around him. I’m an absolute sucker for the strong character archetypes that are actually very morally right and kind than everyone assumes. Also Portia is BDKSND LISTEN DUDE YOUR SISTER IS HOT

Also goddamn his art for the route was- JJDKSMD I HAVE SCREENSHOTS OKAY?? Lmaoo I think my three favorite parts were 1) Meeting him for the first time and just straight up admiring him for a good ten minutes 😩😩 2) Dancing on the tables with him during the Masquerade and 3) The chain scene where he confesses to us because I was screaming the whole time at 1 am

On a side note, I happened to start a little bit of Asra’s route since I want to play their’s next aND THEY DID WHAT TOGETHER?? When I tell you I was so visibly stunned, I sat down on my bed like 😳😳 but I like that the dateables can well- date each other :0

But I think Julian is stuck in first place at the moment though I did waver when I saw Asra’s masquerade outfit 👀 Though I enjoyed this game sm 🥰🥰 I haven’t been this excited about a game like this in a while 🤭

[chili-kinks]

OMFG HIM!!! I LOVE HIM SO MUCH! 💕😳🌸

I’m in love with how you draw him my dude and your coloring? 💕🌸 Perfectly soft just like him! The button pop accompanied by that little peek of his underbelly is a niiiiice touch! 👀💦 Love to see R.antaro’s baggy/loose clothes become all tight like this because he’s been a bit self-indulgent lately, heheh!

Ooooh! 👀 Sorry, I really love R/antaro and I would love to see ya do something with him! Just him being a little too self-indulgent during one of his trips somewhere because it’s been a looong while since he visited this specific place. The food there makes him feel so nostalgic and content that he just has to have more despite his stomach already feeling comfortably full. —🌸

Lot of you asked me for him👀

also something colored once in a while~

sorry but I'm such a h0e for button popping I HAD to draw it 😵