#dude this session has been soooo good

[courtillyy]

dude im actually rly sad. as fun as bigb hanging out with ren and martyn was, the relationship that bigb and cleo were rebuilding was the most important thing to me !! and now, all bc bigb likes to fuck around and cleo ofc didn't have any leeway for him for that. its all gone :(

[caterjunes]

rly rly love [sarcasm] that after a month+ of being suicidal i finally was like "hey therapist can i get a uhhhh crisis/emergency plan? my spouse is rly worried that we haven't set anything up. and the reason i haven't brought it up before is b/c i'm So depressed i just don't care."

and she was like "oh. um. call a hotline i guess."

cool. i am really feeling like you are looking out for me [sarcasm]

[mercuryday]

heyyyyy y’all… i’m peyton [sh/th, 21+, cst—also the mun of selena, hyeon, mouse & dabin] and i’m stoked to be bringing you guys another older character of mine, hwang daesung/dylan hwang. the tl;dr on dylan is that he’s a dude soooo fixated on being the life of the party that he’s actually not the life of the party at all 😓 you can view his stats here, his pinterest here and read all about him under the cut.

dylan hwang, born june 14, 1997 in santa monica, ca, usa to a rock musician/producer/blue collar worker father and a hairstylist mother :~) dylan was their first and only child and he was absolutely cherished. his parents were deeply in love, and you could tell that dylan was a product of that—a very bright, happy, confident kid who took after his father in particular.

he had an interest in music from a young age and would frequently accompany his father to his band’s practice sessions and/or studio recordings; but he didn’t only think the music stuff was cool, he also admired how hard of a worker his dad always was and how he still made time for his family and never seemed tired like…… the most he ever complained about was a headache. in dylan’s eyes, that man was a superhero!!!

also has an uncle (on his dad’s side) who’s cool as hell too; owned a record store in queens and babysat dylan often when he was little and both parents were busy. cool cool guy

but he had a harder time connecting with his mom as she was the more practical adult in his life—very much “good cop/bad cop” and unfortunately she was the bad cop, LOL. making dylan let her cut his hair whilst his dad encouraged him to grow it out, lecturing him for climbing trees in the neighborhood, no sweets before breakfast type deal like… she wasn’t evil AT ALL, just irritating sometimes lmfao

anywayyyy… TW CHRONIC ILLNESS, DEATH / when dylan was 14, his dad went to see a doctor for the aforementioned headaches he’d been having; this turned out to be a series of growths in his brain—he passed away within the same year / END TW

tl;dr dylan lost his dad in 2012, and it turns out his dad was the glue that was holding him and his mom together as well; rather than grieve and heal together, an irreparable distance grew and it definitely didn’t help that dylan was 14… the most evil age ever??? was extremely unkind to his mom, made her cry a lot, the house was silent most of the time with them even learning to have their meals at separate times

dylan really leaned into music more than ever around this time, and even more so once his mom realized she couldn’t pay the bills on her own and needed to go back to south korea and live with her parents for a while; dylan was extremely americanized by this point and didn’t speak korean on a native level, so he felt isolated as all hell in seoul—luckily his uncle richie moved to seoul along with them to stay close to dylan so at least he wasn’t stranded in unfamiliar territory with no one who he felt like he could lean on

his mom’s parents gave her a small loan to start her own salon in jongno-gu and richie relocated his music store to the nakwon musical instrument arcade, where it still is today; needless to say, they adjusted surprisingly quickly and, in a way, dylan felt like he was the only one still grieving and consequently was being left behind (which is not true but yk he was an angsty teenager)

had a lot of sadness and frustration with nowhere to go, and from about 15 to 18 he was a problem child :( picking fights, treating the people around him like shit, getting kicked out of school, etc etc

but around 18 he got a very humbling reality check and has been striving to be better ever since/striving to be someone his dad would be proud of—his relationship with his mom is still quite complicated because, like i mentioned before, he ended up getting kicked out of school which was NOTTTT cool… eventually got his ged, but. should not have happened that way. and she’s consistently asked him to pursue something other than music with his life as she doesn’t want to watch him waste his life chasing a pipe dream, but that remains the only thing that he really wants to do; he does help out at her salon on occasion and she talks about how she wishes he would come on full-time so they could spend more time together and she wouldn’t spend all day worrying about him, but 🤷‍♂️ he really doesn’t want to cut hair for the rest of his life. mostly nice to her now, but never gave her a proper apology for the fucked up shit he said to her before/the way that he treated her, and is still prone to lashing out when she gets on his nerves—familiarity breeds contempt type vibe.

after he was kicked out of school, he started working for his uncle richie at his music store as a sales associate; is still there to this day, but has job-hopped quite a bit over the years… richie always takes him back when he inevitably quits or gets fired. nowadays, he’s operating as a sales associate/instrument and record player repair tech/halfass assistant store manager like… what does he not do? he acts like he owns the place.

started a band in 2019, tentatively called both haze and through the haze (sounds like: silica gel, thornapple) depending on who you’re asking. a psychedelic rock band with a bunch of random ass influences; slow start, but they’ve been gaining a fair bit of traction recently. not quite known internationally, but most people in the jongno-gu area know the name and they play shows in the area often, as well as being invited to perform at independent rock festivals throughout the year. still…. the band’s not paying the bills, so 🤷‍♂️ they can’t quit their day jobs yet…

here he is now: a 26 (almost 27) year old man still doing the same shit he was doing 5 years ago, seemingly at a standstill in life. personality-wise, he’s very kind and humorous—forever trying to make up for the jackass that he was as a teenager, feels the best when he’s making people smile or laugh. treats everyone he encounters like they’re special to him in some way, “because they are”. much more intelligent than he’s given credit for, but lives as a piece of comedic relief instead of letting his skills (beyond music) show. absolute party animal, can outdrink anyone and can go for hours; hosts a lot of afterparties following haze’s shows, so stop by if you’re looking for a good time. a candle burning at both ends, but if you don’t look too close, you can’t tell; has an alcohol problem, but 🤷‍♂️ claims that it “comes with the territory” and “is no big deal”. friendly, well-meaning guy who never made peace with his grief and has to be fucked up to feel good, and no matter what levels of success he reaches, it never feels good enough. like i said before, he treats people like they’re special but fails to maintain meaningful relationships as he runs from commitment in any form and wants to know a lot of people a little bit rather than know a few people really good. lonely lonely man.

plot ideas

i always say this, but: i love extensive plotting, so if you're trying to discuss all the little details and build a strong storyline together, i'm your girl! however, i'm also 100% game to get a loose idea together, jump in and see how it develops. that said, here are some small ideas:

naturally, dylan's band members. the band has been around since 2019, but the current members do not have to be original. if/when these spots are taken, i would like to get together and discuss the band's dynamic as a whole as well! currently seeking: bassist, lead guitarist, drummer.

a friend around dylan's age (born '96 to '98 ideally) who he met when he first moved to seoul in 2013. they've been friends for 11 years now, so this is someone who knows dylan better than anyone else in his life, and his #1 supporter but also his biggest critic - they see how toxic/unhealthy his behavior is and call him out on his bs, which quite frankly scares him LMFAOOOO so maybe there's a little distance between them now that's never been there before? let's figure out the details together

musicians who often come to spins & needles for things like guitar strings, picks, cords, various music equipment, etc etc... connections he's made this way who don't have their own band, but sometimes fill in if a member of haze is unable to play a show? connections who DO have their own band and sometimes open for haze or vice versa? jam session buddies, young/budding musicians who think dylan's way cooler than he actually is, someone who just really loves music and drops in to chat the shit with dylan.

an ex-girlfriend, probably someone introduced to dylan by his mom as she used to frequent his mom's salon. they dated for a while, but dylan wasn't serious about her/wasn't willing to settle down at the time while she was wanting a partner who could be husband material. sorry!

a random ass eclectic friend group... people who have absolutely nothing in common with dylan, but they have a great time together anyway.

party friends, and ultimately, bad influences on each other - constantly pushing each other's limits, waking up with gnarly hangovers and doing it all again the next night. perhaps these are friends who dylan will grow apart from throughout his development as he tries to steer away from drinking, but that's a bridge to cross in the future!!!

let him have his christopher wilde (from starstruck, for those who don't know) moment... someone who doesn't like him/has been talking shit about how he's "pretentious" or whatever and now he's fixating on making them change their mind. "you don't like me? but you don't even know me.. i think... i think if you knew me, you would really like me" monologue type beat.

etc etc etc... open to anything!!!

[katyspersonal]

Ludwig x Maria always intrigued me. Do you have any ideas on their potential relationship?

Damn... This is a really cute ship ;-; I've been noticing that fandom, likewise, pointed out something fitting about them since the old fandom times xD And it feels so good for me? Whereas Gehrman and Laurence are 'dark' people, leaning on 'ends justify the means' side; Ludwig and Maria, on the contrary, are the knightly, honourable, 'bright' people believing in good and not having the full picture of what they're getting into!

🌙 They would both certainly love horse riding. Even have competition at such! The Cainhurst Knights (especially male ones) seemed to prefer horse-riding, and..... we all know Ludwig was a horse girl xd (source: dude trust me my aunt works at Fromsoft lol)

🌻 Maria would most likely take the lead in relationship. Although Ludwig would be surprised initially, but he would soon become HER horse-girl fdhshfd. Hell, Maria would be the one to plan the dates! AND she would be the one to provide Ludwig some adorable sessions of eating lumenweed/sunflowers past his beasthood xD

🌙 Unlike SOME people, Ludwig would be able to face the struggle Maria had to face upon Adeline giving herself to the research for the Eldrich Truth. More than that; he'd be able to comfort her, having faced the agenda himself. It could have given Maria more of a hope.

🌻 They ABSOLUTELY had friendly sparring sessions. Sorry, not I make the rules xD. Basically, a lot of their meetings feature kicking one another's ass until they can just laugh and forget all of it. They are both very battle-ready types! Training one another to be good at fight was the least they could do for one another!

🌙 They had MANY topics to be salty about; how Healing Church was getting things wrong, how chivalry mattered for the hunt, how Moon was a valid guidance for the hunters, how Laurence was kinda sketchy... You know those friendships when friends have many topics to vent about, but none of them quite drown out the quality of their friendship? That would be Ludwig and Maria!

🌻 Again, Maria would be the one to gift the flower bouquets in relationship. Luwdig would often be surprised by Maria taking up the role of uhhh, provider of romantic gestures in relationship. But he'd accept soon enough, and even think he could never asked for a better partner. Maria LOVES flowers, and Ludwig, with his ass obsessed with simply efficient weapons and nothing more, would learn to love her obsession with gardening!

🌙 They would both take their turns in crying and falling in despair as strong yet very sensitive warriors. They have all the resource to support each other at their hardest, and to encourage one another that the 'Stars and Moon' know the way. They are a weird combination of both having enough of their humanity intact AND enough of devotion to the exterior powers.

🌻 They would often get into the same silly jokes! They just get each other's cringe moments SOOOO much... At times, when they are separated, they think up of the jokes they will tell one another when they meet again!

🌙 Maria is 6'7'' (201 cm) tall, and Ludwig is 7'00 (213 cm) tall!! You could tell the height difference barely has any bearing on their relationship. They are both very tall!

🌻 I believe that Maria, well.... "died" before Laurence unleashed Executioners on Cainhurst. That'd send Ludwig into complete fanaticism over the 'Moon's guidance, believing the very act of following it alone could reunite him with Maria :( Regardless of her relationship status, that was what made him seek his ONLY source of confidenment in "Moon's Presence". Friendship or love, it didn't matter... There was only one power in the whole cosmos left capable of understanding his loss.

[swifty-fox]

https://www.tumblr.com/swifty-fox/746422388427735040/actually-now-ive-thought-of-a-hockey-au-question

I JUST READ THIS i Do Not understand hockey and watched the goalie fight and i am soooo confused i thought this was like an ice stick sports game thing WHY are they doing a hand to hand combat in the middle of the ice 😭😭😭😭

the gloves the helmet the stick thrown away and the grabbing at each others THROATS??? why did it feel like they were the only people in the ice i was like '???? Is facilitating a fist fight an actual session of the game?'

and WHY did it take so long for someone to break them up too 😭😭

so i talk a little about the mechanics of a fight in this post

the hand to hand combat is a TIME honored tradition in hockey. It's part of the game, its a way for the players to let off steam and to stand up for eachother against a rival player whos just kinda being a Jackass.

SO as said there you've got your average brawl. This is a bar fight. they're pissed. This is not pre-negotiated and because it's not serving a purpose the refs are gunna get involved quickly. Sometimes they will allow this kind of fight if one of the players has been a huge ass during the game. FAFO buddy.

Then you've got your average hockey fight. Think of it more as boxing. Generally two guys will call eachother out and literally be like "yo wanna fight dude?" theres some great clips of that. this is a great one you can actually see the ref step away once both guys agree. (Lol sorry age restricted it is dudes hittin eachother)

If it is an allowed fight (agreed too, refs stepped off) you will see them hovering around once both guys have exhausted themselves or usually once someone falls to the ice. then they step in to break it up and escort them to their respective Sin Bin (penalty box)

They fight to pump up the crowd, to add some energy back into a slow game and just cause it's fun. they do take penalties for it though no matter the kind of brawl.

for that goalie fight im not sure whats going on honestly lol it may have been some event and the tendys just wanted to fight. You mostly see Tendys fight during a line brawl (literally everyone on ice going at it) And they're not necessarily grabbing at their throats but actually the plastic armor under the jersey. even though its meant to protect the players body from any number of hits or bumps or bruises It's also a solid piece of underarmor that they can maintain a good grip on so as not to fall while throwing punches. it's that white thing PeePaw Ovi is wearing here

[thegoldenshi-shi]

My brain has been in a massive nlock for about the past two months, unfortunately. I have been slowly adding details and such, but I am very perfectionistic about any art I make, so I keep starting over. I have a shape and pose set, now I just need to decide on details. So, tldr, I still haven't given him the tattoo, which he's fine with, he knows how my brain works, knows that I have periods where I can confidently do things, and says he'd prefer I take my time and make something that I am happy with than to have something I don't like. He's great 💜. I will also likely end up just popping into your discord with the finished product when I finish his tattoo, lol, I just love your art style too much not to gush to you about art things.

But YEAH! Halloween is almost here!! I can decorate my work station this year!! And we have ///soooo/// much chocolate at work, my stomach doesn't appreciate it as much as my taste buds. Halloween has always been my fav holiday. Used to go as a werewolf every year, lol. School didn't let me wear the mask, so for school parades I was just a very hairy dude in a flannel. Was still really fun and funny.

I will always love the golden floof!! Even if seeing your little Leo always tells me I should never ever be allowed near any type of lion for risk of attempting to hug the big kitty. (Will admit, any media that depicts cats, real or otherwise, big or small, tells my brain that hugging muscles are required. I will likely die trying to hug a hyena)

And I am just. Hyped on life rn. Had a good session in therapy, and got told I have made an incredible amount of progress growing and recognizing myself as a person in the past two years, which I am super proud of myself for. A lot of it has been friends (yourself included!) encouraging me and giving me safe places to learn and experience things. It's been great, and I can now confidently move to do things to /make/ myself happy, rather than expecting to never get to be happy for extended periods of time. Two years, and I genuinely am not the same as I was. That's not all that long in the grand scheme of things, but living it, it's massive. Especially cause I was still here to live it.

~Smooch

Ah yes, nothing better than your muse deciding to take an extended vacation when you're working on something *heavy sarcasm*

The same thing is happening to me atm, so don't feel alone.

Seriously, I can't even come up with fanart right now, what the heck?

Still, it's a good thing to take your time on art, you can't rush perfection. Having your basic idea/concept down is the biggest hurtle, so kudos to you for having that done! I'll be excited to see what you wind up with at the end of your process~

I hear you on Halloween. I used to be really into Halloween with dressing up and stuff (I think my most common costume was a witch), now I'm less exuberant about it, but I still LOVE the vibes. I love chocolate, but I also have a preference for high-end dark chocolate, so my wallet keeps me from splurging to much on candy lol.

It's so good to hear that you're doing so well. I will admit I was a little worried at one point when you seemed really down. I'm glad that you're growing and learning how to be your own person and how to enjoy your life on your terms. If I was able to help even a little bit, that makes me very happy and grateful.

On a less serious note, I'm glad you liked the golden floof 💕

Good to talk to you again Smooch~

[livingasaghost]

september was not great folks, but we're trying <3

in the saddest realization of the season i discovered that my favorite part of the day is my 40m drive to work because it's chilly and i can see a lot of trees and the morning light and i also am in the perfect headspace to listen to Good Music and it's like when i used to make my morning playlists for opening the coffeeshop except soooo much more enjoyable

been listening to lots of holly humberstone and NF's new album and justin vernon stuff (bon iver, BRM, etc) and unfortunately gracie abrams - there's just something about all these artists being like "I AM THE PROBLEM ITS ME IM SORRY" that just speaks to me! that's not concerning at all!

laura and i talked for like two hours last night and it was like old times and god i really do miss when we'd just ride the same bus home and i could walk to her house ):

i've been trying to make taylor's chai cookies for like a week and i realized i absolutely have time to make them today so i'm trying to buck up the energy to do that in the next two hours before i have to be a person and go to a photoshoot

"good day" by olivia barton

i'm trying to get back into crying in h mart because mom finished reading it and we're supposedly buddy reading it so we can discuss it but i haven't felt like reading all month because i've been depressed...but like damn cancer sucks guys

in other news, i think because i've had such a shitty brain month this september i've almost pushed myself so far that halloween season sounds really fun!!! i'm trying to work through my halloween hate bc i think it's kind of silly and all my friends love halloween so i should love it too! and like i wanna watch spooky movies and be chilly and have FUN! god!

i kinda forgot a vital piece of jennalore which is that when i was a kid my mom's college roommate used to send us frosted sugar cookies shaped like bats every halloween and it was actually kinda the best thing ever? so i'm trying to channel that energy this season

work is batshit insane and i'm so exhausted by it i literally slept for 11hrs on like wednesday night bc i was so tired but also......when we're busy i always feel like i'm actually Doing Something and my bosses are so happy with the work i do so like.....it's good even though it's bad!

therapy has actually been really really good? like it Sucks bc it's therapy and i hate talking about my feelings but my therapist is the sweetest NB person ever and they're always just like "uhhh that's emotional abuse my dude!" and i'm so fucking excited bc at the end of october they're gonna have saturday openings which means i can finally go talk to them in person and not on my lunch break in our tiny break room!!!! at this point i have to pretend like my coworker can't hear everything i say during therapy otherwise i'd go insane so i always leave my sessions being like ......did max hear that i'm aroace and i have depression and i might be neurodivergent??? idk!!!

which speaking of, even though max and i definitely aren't like friends by any sense of the word....we are also just like having a time together! it's wild i see him most out of all the people i know but i think we're both going a little insane from the workload and being Depressed so we just spend all day being kinda wacky and for whatever reason i've reached a point where i stopped having a filter with him so i just start talking about the most random shit and he's cool with it lol

i think i might maybe be a little lonely! idk! i've been struggling to figure out what i need or who to talk to and i generally just want to talk to like two or three of my friends or my gc and everyone's just busy ): but then when i have the chance to talk to anyone and i Sit Down to try to interact bc i know some people are probably around i just get a little overwhelmed idk make it make sense!!!

and i realized i don't have a lot of IRL friends anymore bc a lot of the ones i had from the coffeeshop are Not My Friend and the ones i met on instagram are also Not My Friend and the ones i used to live with are Not My Friend and so my list of people to hang with is teeny tiny and idek what i need or want anymore so it's just my brain screaming .

the most frustrating thing rn is that i know i'm in a bad mental place however i cannot distinguish what i need! but when someone asks me what i need i get this intense panic/dread and i spiral real bad and if anyone tries to be kind to me it makes me feel worse and so it's like....i'm stuck in this stand still where i can't get what i need but i don't know what i need so i just eat cereal, listen to music, and go to bed early!!!

i don't wanna watch anything, i still haven't finished this season of only murders, i need a DVD player bc i want to watch the director's commentary of hill house, there's a bunch of shows and movies coming out soon that i feel overwhelmed by at the moment and it's just like !!! this is all so unfair

and i need to make all these appointments like getting my oil changed and going to the doctor for my annual but i cannot bring myself to do those things but also like should i ask my doctor about medication for depression??? surely it isn't that serious but like maybe it is idk!!!!

the depression isn't as bad as it's been in the past (i think?) like i felt a lot more hopeless in 2017 and i think a lot of that is because i do have a support system and a therapist and a good paying job and things to look forward to but like i'm very aware that many days i do just feel that feeling of "everything is meaningless and nothing will bring me joy ever again" so it's like !!! idk!!!! maybe i'm gaslighting myself into thinking i'm not that bad when in actuality i am!!!

i've just been stuck in that space of middle limbo with all my "diagnoses" that i cannot rationally understand if i'm allowing myself to see myself the way i am? like i always felt like i wasn't depressed enough to be Depressed bc i'm not suicidal but like ??? that's silly !!! maybe i am Depressed!!!!! but i don't even know how to go about getting meds and what they would do and it's almost more overwhelming to think about that than to just be depressed ): bc i still am convinced a lot of it comes down to the heat and the lingering effects of summer

but now i'm thinking about 2021 when it was the bad times and i stopped working on creative stuff or literally any year from 2017-2020 when i just spent the early fall Not Creating and having a crisis that i'd never create again and it's like.............is that bc i'm always depressed around this time? it's comforting bc i know life is seasons and i will come back around to making things and doing my silly projects but it's just sort of making me wonder how it would be different if i tried to find a way to get meds ....like would that Fix Me....would that Solve the Problem....what if it doesn't! what if i'm not depressed enough for that!

(this is all just thoughts, i'm fine, etc, just haven't let myself fully think about the depression this month bc i don't think there's a solution rn i'm just trying to get through it)

anyway, "good day" by olivia barton

[agentstarkid]

So I’ve been rereading the joker and the queen….again and that one chapter of after the break up and she’s writing all these songs dude!!!

When she’s on the phone with Chloe and she breaks down crying and then the smau chapter seeing Chloe and Scotty hang out with her on their own!!!

I love it!!!!

I can just picture Chloe being like “dude we NEED to see her I have to know she’s surviving”

It’s soooo good!!!!!!

first of all... you re-read my series? 🥹 weird way to propose but okay 🤭

you bet they took their first opportunity to go and visit her!! chloe and scotty are my ultimate mvp when it comes to friendship. I feel like they adopted her in some ways, like she's their baby sis now, gotta protect her and shower her with love and support yk?

lemme give you some headcanons about Queen + Scotty & Chloe's friendship because they need to be appreciated more 💗

They try to visit as much as possible, they even helped her move out of her old house and move in to the new one—they can add house painters to their resumé now lol

She sees them as her "found family." She often jokes that if she could pick her siblings, she'd pick them in a heartbeat. Scotty takes the role of the teasing older brother, while Chloe is her grounding, big-sister figure.

Scotty and Girlie definitely have a sibling-like banter ALL THE TIME—Whenever they start to bicker, Chloe steps in with her “mom voice.” She’ll say something like “You two are literally children,” which usually makes them laugh and stop.

Scotty was the one who gave her the nickname "Sparky" and then, every single one of Daniel's mates picked it up and it just stuck, but he has a million embarrassing nicknames for her, like “Squirt,” “Babyface,” or “Trouble.” Girlie pretends to hate it, but secretly she loves the big-brother energy.

Chloe loves doling out wisdom and often tells her, “You’re smarter than you think, sunshine.” but I see Girlie being her go-to for advice on her career moves!!

Also btw, while she's "Sparky" for the boys, Chloe's nickname for her is "Sunshine", saying she lights up every room she enters 💖

She always makes time for heartfelt check-ins to make sure Girlie feels loved and supported (queens uplifting queens, amirite? 🥰)

I definitely see Chloe and Girlie having impromptu jam sessions whenever they’re together, and probably have written one or two songs here and there. There's always a piano or a guitar involved, or both—maybe Girlie co-wrote or co-produced Chloe's album under a pseudonym 🤔

Once Girlie goes back on tour, they are her loudest cheerleaders at any concert. They’ll show up wearing her merch, holding embarrassing signs, and screaming louder than anyone else in the crowd.

Chloe insisted on vetting Rúben out when him and Girlie started dating. She told her that, “If he doesn’t treat you like the queen you are, he’s out.”—Safe to say, he definitely got on her good graces now <3

Scotty though...He once jokingly gave a him a mock interrogation, complete with fake police lights on his phone 😆

Whenever life gets overwhelming, Chloe invites her over for a quiet night in with wine and heartfelt conversations. Girlie loves how Chloe always knows what to say to make her feel seen and supported.

Scotty, bless his heart, sometimes mentions Daniel in front of her without realizing it. Chloe immediately elbows him, and Girlie just laughs it off, telling Scotty he’s as subtle as a brick.

Girlie’s clumsiness is a running joke in their friendship—like once, S & C managed to convince Girlie to give snowboarding a try during a winter trip (to Aspen, Canada or maybe France???). Despite her hesitance, she strapped on a board and gave it her best shot. She definitely spent more time flailing, falling, and sliding on her back than actually riding. Scotty couldn’t stop laughing, though he was quick to help her up each time, saying things like, “You’re doing great, champ!” while barely containing his amusement, and Chloe chiming in,“Next trip, we’re getting you a sled instead.”

These two have mastered the art of navigating their friendships with Girlie and Daniel post-breakup. They refuse to take sides and jokingly call their home "Switzerland" because it’s a neutral zone where both are welcome.

That being said, I think they still secretly root for them, and hope that, if the time is right, they could maybe get back together—they are obviously very respectful of each of the other's relationships, so they keep quiet about it. But they hold the power of knowing both sides of the story though 👀

Despite their best efforts to stay neutral, Chloe and Scotty sometimes catch themselves saying things like, “Yeah, Y/N’s doing amazing,” or “Dan’s been reflecting a lot lately.” It’s unintentional, but they’ve joked about their roles in possibly helping the two reconcile.

Even though she's secretly on the Dan-Girlie train, Chloe is fiercely protective of Girlie. She ensures any mention of Daniel around her is sensitive and appropriate. If anyone else in their circle brings it up, Chloe gracefully changes the subject to avoid any discomfort.

Scotty & Chloe are always telling her, “You’re stuck with us, kid.” Their friendship is the kind you only find once in a lifetime—built on love, laughter, and unshakable loyalty.

BONUS

Chloe’s mom always asks about her as if she were another daughter <3

When the time came to ask her friends to be a bridesmaid at her wedding, Chloe didn’t even have to think hard—it was a given that Girlie was going to be one of them. Even though Chloe always hinted at it, Girlie was so surprised and super touched by the question.

Chloe might or might not have tried to set Lance and Girlie up at some point 👀 it obviously didn't work out the way she wanted but they became really good friends after that!

it got a little bit out of hands but I just love them so much!! hehe 🤭❤️

[itsjaywalkers]

UMMMM NOTHING HAPPENS???

Dude. This, you’ve done something with this.

Like the first part REGGIES ADORABLE, and they’re obvs already soulmates, and it’s setting the Sirius dynamic. Like especially with James and Sirius, I think it’s a fun way to explore their friendship, and James’ inability to say no.

THEN THE NEXT PART! JAMES MY LOVE YOU.ARE.JELOUS!!!!!! Like my guy. The “baby”, James please have a conscious thought. The beef between Pandora and Sirius is so real <3. But it’s interesting to see like another sibling haver perspective on Sirius and Reg cause James is just James. Like it’s speaks a lot about everyone’s dynamic I think how everyone interacts with the twins (Love them but the way, your Evan is <333)

THEN THE LAST PART. HOLY SHIT. Like i thought they were about to have a cute moment (which i guess they did) but then BAM “what about your girlfriend?”. It was like a record scratch in my brain. I’m very excited to get Regs’ side of the story, and James is my bbg i’ll always defend him even if he sucks, if James said it was a platonic make out session, it was a platonic make out session. (I’m kidding he’s being a dick) BUT THE “You’re my best friend” while they were literally sucking face. Babe. Please. AND WHEN HE CALLED OUT WOLFSTAR, you have literally no room to talk. Like at all. But like, him being like “Em. Babe. ur overreacting” While reg was literally cuddled up in him. LIKE WHAT JAMES? THATS INSANE!

But like based of what you’ve posted IDK, but it’s different than what I expected?? (in a good way). Like the characterization is so compelling in this! I’m very excited for this and am very patiently waiting for the next part, in the meantime i’ll be re reading and finding even more insane bits i missed i’m sure.

(sorry for rambling, but thank you lots for writing <3)

NEVER APOLOGISE FOR RAMBLING and this ask made my day, i couldn't answer until now bc i've been shopping all morning/afternoon but !!! i read it as soon as i woke up and it made me <3 so very happy <333

ELEVEN YEAR-OLD REGGIE IS SOOOO CUTE i need to put him in my mouth and . chew . he's so very dear to me i swear <333 i also love his dynamic with sirius and all the banter between james and sirius was so fun to write. their friendship sort of . deteriorates . in a way . bc of regulus and both sirius and james' inability to share, so i'm glad i got to write them like this before that, like proper best friends!!!

HE'S SO FUCKING JEALOUS IT'S ACTUALLY CONCERNING the 'baby' was playing soooo dirty and so manipulative of him. and i'm so glad u enjoy sirius and pandora's rivalry bc it's one of my fav things in nothing happens hehe. and yessss james has a very . close-minded view of siblings, in a way, since he's an only child and he's never gonna understand what goes down in those kinds of bonds. so getting to see the twins and how they behave and interact with others helps with james' lacking perspective imo!! also nothing happens evan is my baby, i'm so happy u like him <333

THE LAST PART IS THE WOMAN OF THE HOUR I THINK so intense so hot so dramatic <3 the mention of james' gf IS supposed to hit, bc despite the fic being from his pov, he never thinks about her until reg mentions her, which is . wild . if u stop to think about it . idk if we'll ever get reg's side of the story bc nothing happens works better bc it's james-centric but !! who knows !! i'd love to write his pov of some moments for sure (and share more content of the twins too). also i'm so surprised to see how much ppl are loving nh james??? he's gonna get worse, so idk how long this will last but i'm quite pleased so far bc i adoreeee him. HE'S SUCH A PIECE OF SHIT DURING THAT WHOLE CONVO telling his literal gf she's overreacting when he has reg seated on his lap, telling reg he's his best friend after having his tongue down his throat . he's insane . especially bc he believes every single word coming out of his mouth

oh i'm so glad ur liking it despite the story not being what u expected (so relieved it's in a good way tho). the characterizations in nothing happens are what make the fic super compelling to me too so <3 taking this as a huge compliment <3 i'm gonna go back to writing oby + a pandalily pwp now so idk when the next part will be ready but !! since nothing happens is what i always write on the side bc it comes quite easy to me, it could be done sooner than it seems. we'll see!!

thank you so much for reading and for sending such a lovely ask, it means the whole world MWAH <333

[skinnyducky]

awkward apologies (pt. 2 to unexepected visits) // v.h.

This was soooo cute to write. When I tell you it was so hard to not laugh while writing this, I was trying my best. But, that's the whole point of this. To laugh, to go "awweee", and to be happy. So, thank you to those who enjoyed pt. 1...here's pt. 2 :)

link to part 1

Word Count: 1557, slightly edited

WARNING: language, sexual themes, embarrassed vinnie, and i think that's it.

---------

Vinnie leaned against the fence of the skatepark, cradling his board close to his chest. Jett sat next to him, still laughing from the story Vinnie had shared with him.

“Please tell me that all was a joke,” he laughed. “You can’t be serious?”

“It’s not funny, dude. I was so embarrassed.”

Jett shook his head, trying to stop his giggles. “Look, shit happens. It’s not the end of the world. At that, it’s not like Y/n was mad at you or anything.”

“Jett, Y/n hasn’t called me since that night.”

It was true; you hadn’t spoken to him in three days since the night of the incident. Why would you though? He embarrassed not only himself, but you, in front of your parents. Those are the very people whose opinion matters when it comes to your relationships, and he just blew it. It didn’t even help that he did not bother to explain his urgent departure right after. There were no texts, no calls, not even a tweet that gave you any hints as to what went wrong.

“I just don’t know, man. I messed up something so good.” Vinnie sighed, looking down at his shoes.

Jett sighed, placing a comforting hand on his friend’s shoulder. “Like I said, it’s not the end of the world, man. Everyone knows how head over heels you two are for each other. One little mistake isn’t going to make or break what you have going on.”

“I get that but…I…I wish I hadn’t-“

“You don’t need to repeat it.” Jett said. “Now, how about you get on your board, skate for a few minutes, and calm yourself. The more you think about it, the sadder you get, and I really don’t feel like having to cuddle with you in one of your sad moods.”

Vinnie chuckled. “Those are the best cuddles though.”

With that, the boy hopped onto his board and rode off. He skated, doing turns and all sorts of kickflips. He was in the zone, and nothing could bring him out of it. With his tongue peeking out between his lips, he gathered himself to do an ollie. He got into position, keeping his eyes on his board and his fit. With a leap, he looked up and lo and behold, there you were with your friends. He gasped, the sight of you catching him off guard, so much that he barely came close to nailing his trick.

“Shit!” he shouted, landing on his ass.

Even as far as he was, he could hear the sound of Jett’s cackles echo throughout the skatepark. Even through his awkwardness, he managed to look over at you. Much to his surprise, you were looking right back at him, laughing along with your pals. He shot you a small smile, but that fell once he saw your happy expression turn into what one would refer to as…disgust. Oh, you were mad mad.

The boy gulped, picking up his board and hurrying over to Jett, who was still laughing his ass off.

“I wish I had caught that on camera, man!” He hollered, clutching his stomach. “You should’ve seen the look on your face before you fell! Oh wait, I can show you!”

Jett proceed to mock Vinnie’s expression, failing his arms in the air.

Vinnie stared at him with an irritated gaze. “Ha, ha…very funny.”

“Dude, what happened? You normally nail your ollies.”

“Y/n happened.”

Jett’s laughter stopped as he realized what Vinnie said. “What? What’s going on?”

“They’re here.”

Jett scanned the park for you before finding you on the other end from them, chatting with your friends.

“What is Y/n doing here? I didn’t know they skated.”

“They don’t, which is why it caught me off guard.” Vinnie replied. “You think they’re here for me?”

Jett shook his head. “No, I think they’re here to protest.”

Vinnie squinted his eyes in confusion before turning back to you. There, he saw you pick up a board and wave it around, chanting, “Save the whales!”

“Why at a skatepark?”

“Don’t ask me. I’m not the one protesting.” Jett snickered.

“Y/n laughed at me.”

“Then they’re not mad.”

“I wouldn’t exactly say that.”

Jett turned to his friend with a puzzled face. “Why do you say that?”

“Because, when I smiled at them, they just looked at me like I was some creep on the street.”

“Welp, then this is your chance,” said Jett. “Talk to them, explain what happened.”

Vinnie sighed, “What am I supposed to say? That I accidentally jizzed in my pants and had to leave before I made an ass out of myself?”

“Yep.”

Vinnie looked to Jett with shock. “You’re joking. Jett, I can’t do that.”

“Listen Vinnie, you are making a big deal out of nothing. All you have to do is walk up to Y/n, tell her the truth, say you’re sorry, and hope for the best. I mean, if anything…it was kind of a compliment to her, right? Trust me on this.”

Vinnie sat there and thought about it for a minute. Jett wasn’t completely wrong; it would be better to tell the truth than to not say anything and let what could be good relationship just wither and die. With that in mind, he pulled up his britches and walked over to you.

“Save the whales-“ you stopped your chanting, merely glaring at the boy in front of you. Your friends scoffed to themselves, turning to stare at Vinnie.

“Um, hey…Y/n.” He greeted, rubbing the back of his head.

“Hey…that’s all you can say?” You replied. “You haven’t called me, you haven’t texted me, you haven’t even left a voice message. What the hell, Vinnie?”

He stood there speechless, not knowing what else to say.

“Like, what the hell happened? That thing with Mac and then not shaking my dad’s hand, like…what?”

“I know, Y/n, and I’m so sorry.”

“Vinnie, I managed to fly to Seattle with you and spend a week with your family, and you can’t even spend one hour with mine? I thought you were different.”

“I am, Y/n. I promise you, I am.”

You sighed, rolling your eyes and crossing your arms. “You know what…I can’t do this here, Vinnie. We’re trying to save whales and…”

“Okay, sorry.”

Vinnie shoved his hands into his pockets as he turned and began to walk away. But something stopped him. Maybe it was the ounce of pride in his system or the fact that he didn’t wanna lose you, but something kept him from leaving. Then he did the unthinkable…

Swallowing his embarrassment, he turned back around and stepped towards you.

“I, um…I ejaculated in my pants.”

Your friends snorted behind you, trying to keep their laughter to themselves. You stared at him with a glimmer of amusement in your eyes. You tried so hard not to break out into a smile.

“We were, um…we were getting hot and it’s not every day I have someone as…hot…as you grinding on top of me, and I got a bit excited. Next thing I know, your parents come in and I’m sitting there with jizz in my pants.”

You pursed your lips as you turned to the side, trying to contain the fit of giggles begging to escape. Your friends on the other hand…they were nearly on the verge of pissing themselves.

“So, uh…sorry. Sorry.”

Vinnie cleared his throat and slowly treaded back to Jett.

You moved to face your friends, joining them in the laughing session.

“That was the most awkward thing ever.” One of your friends said. “But I’ll say this, he’s honest. There’s no way anyone could make that up.”

“Right?” You chuckled.

“I say you should you talk to him. He’s a good kid.” Your other friend added.

You smiled. “You think so?”

The two nodded.

“Okay.” You said, running towards Vinnie.

“Vinnie!” You called, gaining the boy’s attention.

He glanced over to Jett, who took this is as his signal to give you two a minute.

“You know, never once have I ever heard of something so weird,” you said, “but so adorable at the same time.”

Vinnie grinned, awkwardly shooting you a thumbs up. “What can I say, that’s all I am. Just a weird, yet adorable, person.”

You grabbed his hands, looking into his eyes. “Why didn’t you just tell me what happened? I totally would’ve understood.”

“I was just too embarrassed, and plus I didn’t know if you still even wanted me.”

“Vinnie, I could never not want you. I told you before, I really like you and I wouldn’t want to do anything to mess that up. You should never have to question that.”

He sighed, “I’m sorry for not coming to you sooner.”

“And I’m sorry for my friends. They’re still laughing about it.”

He smiled, bringing you closer into him. The two of you stared at each other, your faces inches away.

“I love you.” He said.

It caught you off guard a bit, granted you had only been seeing each other for a short time. But nonetheless, it still made you feel butterflies inside. Grinning you closed the gap between you two, bringing your lips together. It was so good to have his lips against yours, and vice versa. You pulled back, pressing your forehead against his.

“I love you too.”

[arch-dieangelo]

okay i'd like to preface this post with: yes i write a character from a middle grade book series. yes i take it way too seriously. move on.

now ! a list of things that i will be keeping so far from the new book that features nico as the titular character and will not name <3

KEEP:

being obsessed and enthusiastic about the grey sisters "Nico didn't want to admit it to the others, but he had met the sisters several times on his own, and he kind of liked them. They were thorny. Difficult. Stuck in their ways. Chaotic, yet weirdly dependable. They wore their darkness on their sleeves. For Styx's sake, they all shared a single eye. How could Nico not appreciate them?" like yeah he loves the weird and strange especially when he sees himself in them... thorny difficult chaotic dependable yeah yeah yeah

THE TWO CHAPTER DREAM SEQUENCE ARE YOU KIDDING ME. never have i felt dread like that while reading this series. fuck. magnificent. his mom. the lotus and b/ianca. the williamsburg bridge with wi/ll and mic/hael and p/ercy and an/nabeth.

the j/ason mentions... what if i died? *i want to note that i flip flop between j/ason alive fra/nk l/eo dead & the opposite

ptsd, was already there but i want to acknowledge it again because. yeah. important and i appreciate that it's being brought up again

mr. d & nico therapy sessions??? yeah.

falls on the floor and dies (disordered eating tw)

LIKE YEAH. yeah. this gets brought up again but the "always wanting what i cant have so i've gotten used to not having anything and im ok with it" YEAH.

niccolo <3 except i need to make a post on that because he's trans and niccolo / nico is his chosen name

"Or maybe he was just feeling contrary and cranky after enduring Nico's Greatest Nightmare Hits, vols. I and II" it's just a funny line sorry i'm not immune

"After a while, though, he became used to the idea that he wanted things he couldn't have: Percy, Bianca, his mother, stability … it was all the same. Getting over Percy was easier than Nico expected. What was one straight boy when you spent your whole life longing for others!" the boy yearns! he longs! he wants what he cannot have!

DUMPSTER FIRE (not acknowledging):

chose darth vader out of all sw characters to take on a date??? I KNOW THIS IS TRIVIAL AND MEANT FOR FUNNIES BUT ????????

dude help im tired of the 'grumpy ball of darkness'-esque nicknames come up with something else. frankly i think nico should be more annoyed at it

errrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr i know it's w/lls whole deal considering he hasn't been given sufficient substance due to suffering from side character syndrome but he is not nico's defacto doctor. feels weird! strange! not in the fun way! any physical or mental health thing nico has is his own and he will share on his own time and expects just a friend to lean on, not a doctor to give him advice

soooo many frustrating inconsistencies, most to do with timeline that i can't be assed to figure out and fix so i've made my own.

primary inconsistency that's bothering me is :

he already has dream magic!!!!! following info from tlt & boo. he's mentioned several times to be able to manipulate the dreams of mortals + control his own to an extent. he's not as good as clovis, but it's important to note that ! he has control ! i will instead say that someone - or something - more powerful than him at dream magic is controlling his. that's all :) mwah

[chainofclovers]

Ted Lasso 2x3 thoughts

Brendan Hunt confirmed on Twitter that the writers wrote the first three episodes of the season with the intention of releasing them on the same day, just as they dropped the first three episodes of season one on the same day. Having finally watched the first three over three different weeks, I really wish they’d been able to launch all three on the same day. I really liked the first two episodes of the season, but the third episode really puts a lot of things into context. Between the political storyline, the return of Sassy (and a bit of a level-setting conversation between Sassy, Rebecca, and Ted) and Rebecca’s navigation of her professional life as an all-in club owner and her experience reconnecting to Nora...all of that feels like we’re done setting up the season now. Exposition complete—and to the writers’ credit, all three of these episodes are far more than exposition. A lot of story has happened.

So much so that this week’s installment has categories.

Sassy and Ted and Rebecca

Hahahahahahahahahaha

No, seriously though, I love that they are mature adults about this and I also love that Ted is Uncomfortable and, to be perfectly honest, I like that Sassy’s aggressive unfilteredness becomes an opportunity for the show to venture into more sexual references and humor about characters other than Keeley and Roy. It was a lot of information!

I’ve seen a couple of people express disappointment that Ted seems weirded out by Sassy discussing Nora’s impending first period, but I didn’t get the impression that he was grossed out by periods. There is a lot going on! Nora is right outside the room with the door open and Sassy has run through a lot of very personal topics! I felt like his reaction was more about the proximity issue in specific and the personal nature of the conversation in general more than anything else.

So many thoughts about the intersection between the biscuits and this conversation that it had to go in its own post.

Nora!

I LOVE Nora. I want every episode of this show to be about her. I want this sitcom to be called Nora Collins.

I love that Nora’s a little bit sassy (pun on her mother’s nickname only lazily intended) in the way a thirteen-year-old can be, but also enthusiastic about spending time with Rebecca and genuinely interested in meeting everyone her godmother knows. Rebecca genuinely hurt Nora, but Nora can clearly see that Rebecca is all-in on their mended relationship, and that gives her the space to be a bit teasing. She knows Rebecca’s weaknesses and has a little fun (the cooking joke when Rebecca offers to make popcorn?!) but also isn’t going to manipulate her or take advantage.

The British doll company and all the riffs on American Girl dolls, OMG. So good.

Like literally everyone, I am extremely into Rebecca and Roy actually being friends and exchanging words with each other this season. Now everyone in the group of four mains have had some great conversational moments with each other this season (I count Ted and Keeley being into Sharon’s bike as a great conversational moment, OK?!), with the exception of Roy and Ted. Cannot wait for that.

During the photo op with the team, Sassy and Rebecca remark on how Nora is loving and hating having her picture taken with Sam and the rest of the players, and that is THE experience of being thirteen years old, and Kiki May does an incredible job infusing all of Nora’s moments with the right proportions of enthusiasm to cringe. Thirteen years olds are constantly cringing but still full of spirit and life, and at constantly changing ratios, and Nora is the perfect embodiment of that.

My heart melted during the email-writing scene. Rebecca’s writing the email on Nora’s computer! In the guest room where her goddaughter is staying! They’re wearing pajamas! And Rebecca’s smile is so genuinely huge and delighted when she signs it “boss ass bitch.”

Led Tasso and Jamie’s Redemption

This was so stupid and I loved it so much. I love that Ted’s angry alter ego is absurd rather than scary, kind of like a parody of how worked up some men get over sports. I wonder if Led Tasso’s appearance in some way foreshadows a more uncontrolled, genuine anger from Ted in a later episode, because this Led Tasso dude is ridiculous.

Tentative kudos to Led Tasso for being able to point out the, ahem, clit of the soccer ball even from within a fugue state.

The entire Chuck E. Cheese exchange with Sharon was so hilarious and wonderful.

When Ted has the idea to bring out Led Tasso, Nate assumes he’s going to suggest that Jamie talk to Sharon. I absolutely adore the implication that Jamie’s growth over this episode is attributable to both Led Tasso and Sharon Fieldstone. Because while some players are still unmoved by Jamie’s willingness to stand up to Led, it didn’t go unnoticed! And then I was so proud of Keeley for refusing to take on the emotional labor of listening to Jamie when she was too busy with her actual job, and I felt that Jamie’s pretty immediate willingness to see what the therapy thing was all about was extremely in line with his character. He’s always seeking out Keeley to talk, and sometimes he actually means “talking” when he asks to talk with her! Jamie feels like someone who’s standing at a wall of doors, knocking on each one, trying to see what sticks. He really lacks foundation. I’m curious to know what he and Sharon spoke about in their session, but I like that the writers left the session private. The knowledge that he’s started seeing a psychologist is valuable information in and of itself, and Jamie’s decision to act in solidarity with Sam and the other Nigerian players is the perfect evidence that he’s thinking in new ways.

Sam and Dubai Air

Toheeb Jimoh is always great, but he’s so great in this episode. It’s cool to see his demeanor, pacing, and confidence shift as he becomes more at home with the team—and it’s also lovely to see that he, unlike Jamie, very much has a strong foundation in his home country, his supportive parents, his own moral center.

I like that Sam didn’t spend a bunch of time and emotional labor on teaching Jamie why caring about other people (and the environment!) matters, because that would’ve undercut the other political messages in this episode. Sam’s leading by example and everyone can either catch up or stay out, and it’s really great.

I really like the way they handled the press conference with Ted and Sam. I like that Ted gave the floor to Sam but prefaced that with very brief (for once!) remarks of his own. And I appreciated that Ted acknowledged his position of privilege, and that the angle isn’t that bad things never happen to white dudes but rather that when bad things do happen to people like Ted, it gets attention with so much less effort than when bad things happen to people who aren’t white men. Because that’s how privilege works—it’s not a shield that prevents bad things from happening to you, but it’s a safety net that ensures people will notice and address and even pitch in to take care of your bad things, often at the expense of the people who lack that privilege.

There’s probably lots of other stuff I could talk about, like the hilariously and realistically bad usernames on Bantr and Keeley brushing her snacks off the desk and into her purse and how things between Beard and Jane are clearly very, very bad and I’m worried about Beard and how it was soooo fun and lovely to see Shannon teasing Ted again (little coffee and football rituals before work are the kinds of details I absolutely live for) and HIGGINS PRETENDING REBECCA SENT HIM A BRILLIANT AND HEROIC EMAIL (which she does for real with Nora’s help just a couple scenes later!) and how delighted I was to feel that by this episode this season has really hit its stride and feels like a fully lived-in portrayal of the energized, loving, imperfect, busy, full place that is the whole AFC Richmond community. Honestly, Higgins pretending Rebecca sent that email because he wants to make her look good in front of her granddaughter is kind of the perfect encapsulation of what this episode felt like. This is a show about a bunch of imperfect people who want each other to succeed.

Edited to add: I was delighted to find out Ashley Nicole Black was writing for the show and the writing here did the opposite of disappoint! ❤️

[lusciouslii]

actually yknow what forget that, my kink blog ill post whatever little thoughts i want. even if im just yelling into the void at least i get to yell!

longer rant incoming bc im tired and want this out of my system!!

-

so i met this guy on feabie and immediately it was super exciting because we go to the same college!!

hes also super fucking hot which was its own weird thing bc ive really never experienced like physical sexual attraction so that was weird. but yeah dude looks good and he has a nice voice so thats already not helping me

we’ve met up a couple times now, once to sorta test the waters, once just to cuddle in my room???? which looking back it was at that point i was straight up fucked because as someone who had recently gotten out of a bad relationship in which all my needs and emotions had been completely neglected, having that kind of sweet and affectionate intimacy?? all while my chubby body is being praised and adored??? never once had that in my LIFE.

the other few times has been pretty lowkey too. we did do a feeding session once but i got sick and it was the most humiliating thing. but he was so nice and caring and we continued to talk afterwards so i just try not to think about it anymore lol

we didnt talk much over the summer since i had to go back home across the country, but he reached out a few times and i was like damn ok im still of interest to him

this semester started great because i planted the seed (aka posted a pic showing i was back over here) knowing he would probably see it and if he’d say anything, and he fucking did he reached out and was excited i was back and wanted to meet up soon. schedules were a little rough but eventually we did!

i felt extra happy because it was sort if spur of the moment decision and he was moving back an online hangout he’d been planning with friends for a couple weeks. so i was like omg he really wants to see me even if only for a little bit thats so nice

and now that we have several months ahead of us we started talking about doing more of a feeder/feedee setup and things like that and im, obviously, super into the idea, and he seemed super into it too!! the dirty things he said to me that night!!!! not fair!!!!!!!

i sent pics later that night bc we talked about it and he said he’d “return the favor” lol but the. like. i sent them and he didn’t say anything until i posted a pic to feabie 🙃 and he was like oh sorry i completely missed your text! which like alright, and he asked me how i was doing and blah blah brief smalltalk

i asked if he wanted to meet up again soon and he said “Yea I’d be down, I gotta see what’s going on tho / need to play it by ear”

now heres where i get all introspective because to me, i dont see why we couldnt just schedule something in the future. unless, that is, hes trying to keep his schedule open for other stuff. i can get that to a certain degree, and i have to like. really ponder on it because i dont want to be some clingy needy girl who is fawning after a guy im not even dating, but its like….idk it makes me feel kinda sad? that im not enough of a priority to want to pick a set day to do something? so idk how to feel about that exactly

anyways i tried asking again some days later and he wasnt free, no surprise, usually when we do something its sorta this impulsive last minute thing, which again like. sorta plays into that whole im not really a priority unless idk youre horny or something

but its weird cause it seems like he does care and does want more than just horny shenanigans? we havent had sex yet and have only even had one actual feeding session. soooo worlds most patient fuckboy if thats the case but i just really dont get those vibes

but also im gullible and see the best in people i care about and thats how i got fucked over in my last relationship

im just feeling pretty sad about the whole thing right now because we talked about doing all these things and i really want that but hes so uncommunicative and im afraid of being obsessive. again, might be on me too because im going in thinking maybe theres a chance to do more

but then again even if there isnt thats FINE i just want to do SOMETHING lmao

so now im just left wanting and thinking about him a lot and oh yeah need i remind WE GO TO THE SAME SCHOOL WHY CANT WE JUST MEET UP CASUALLY ONE AFTERNOON 😭

idk but im afraid of maybe ruining the best relationship ive formed in this kink after figuring out what i wanted from it. god even now im just like “youre thinking too hard about this it doesnt matter that much, youre supposed to be flexible and chill and just go with the flow cause its just a little side thing” but welp. my brain is noisy and i dont have a good outlet. another problem of not having friends in this kink but im not good at responding to people which online is the only way to talk to people and now im just rambling

anyways ending this here and hoping he’ll reach out eventually cause boy does the heart yearn 🥲🥲🥲

[domesticblisss]

What If It is Not Meant for Me?

Jay White x Female Reader Requested Prompts: “can you write anything with jay. It can be fluff, angst!” Rating: PG-13 Word Count: 1397 Warnings: Uhhh, not much? Maybe a little angsty fluff? Probably some self doubt and some pinning. Summary: Jay has a new neighbour. A/N: My dear requester let me free ball it and I am on my monthly “Don’t delete the kisses” bullshit soooo, hope y’all like it.

Jay has a hard time accepting the good things that appear in his life.

His routine took a turn after she moved to the only other apartment on the floor of his condo. The once lifeless and bleak hallway now always smelled like pancakes and flowers, faint sounds of dog barks could be heard, accompanied by calm music and the sweetest voice he had ever heard. On fridays the voices multiplied, laughter was constant and the music was a bit more agitated. Clinking of wine glasses, toasts, and the occasional sound of glass breaking filled his ears.

If you asked him to be honest, he would tell you he envied her.

They met a month after she moved in. The elevator was almost closing when he heard someone shouting “no no no” and when he looked up, Jay was graced by the vision of her running towards him, her baby bull terrier on one arm and the length of her flowery sundress being held by the other hand as she ran, her boots making squeaky noises as the soles touched the smooth floor. He quickly stopped the door and moved to the side so she had more space for the ride.

“Thank you so much!”

“No problem.” Jay’s voice was quiet, almost monotone, a drastic contrast to the cheery one owned by his new neighbour.

She noticed that the twelfth floor’s button was highlighted and decided on introducing herself. “I moved in around a month ago. Are you new here too?”

“I”m Jay, and no, I’ve been living here for a couple of years now.”

“Oh, that’s nice! It’s always so quiet on your side that I thought I was alone.”

“I’m always travelling.” He keeps his words short and a low tone of voice, trying not to give in how the thoughts were running a million miles per hour on his head.

The elevator stops, the robotic woman’s voice announces they had arrived and the doors open.

“It was nice meeting you, Jay. See you around! Come on, let’s go Kobe.”

Jay stayed on the elevator a little longer, watching the woman race her puppy to the door. 

He finally smiled.

Jay has a hard time accepting the good things that appear in his life.

After their first encounter, they started bumping into each other more. Late night cardio sessions in the condo’s gym, pool meetups and even a “grabbing the same cart” situation at Whole Foods.

He made sure to change his schedule, always doing things in the oddest hours but they always ended up bumping into each other. He almost started believing in fate. 

She noticed he wasn’t much of a talker and Jay was thankful she didn’t push him. She kept it simple, a good morning/afternoon/evening, telling him to watch out for something or if she had found a good deal at the grocery store. 

The next forty days he spent in Japan were clouded by thoughts of her. His friends noticed the changes in his humor. He wasn’t as hot headed as usual, the young lions didn’t suffer as much and he opened up more.

It was after one gruesome match, when he and his stable mates went to the closest club to unwind, that Tama decided to ask what was going on. The man wasn’t drinking and going after girls like he used to and his friend noticed. So he told him. Told him how he felt, how he missed her and how he didn’t know what to do with his feelings.

“You gotta let the good things come to you, man. I can tell this girl is good just with the way you talk about her. Your eyes are glowing and I haven’t seen you give a normal, sane man smile in almost a year. Stop depriving yourself from experiencing love because there’s a little bug inside your head feeding you lies. You are a good dude, an amazing guy and you deserve good things, open yourself for them.” Tama’s words echoed on his head the whole week. 

It was on a hot early summer evening when they saw each other again. Jay had just gotten back from a 17+ hour flight from Tokyo and the first thing he sees when he comes out from the elevator is her surrounded by several grocery bags, struggling to find her keys. 

“Hey, welcome back!” her still so cheery voice greets him as soon as she hears the ding of the elevator. 

“Hi! Let me help you.” Jay grabs most of the bags and enters her apartment, setting them down on the kitchen counter like she asked. The apartment is exactly how he pictured it would be, plants and flowers crowded the place, mixed with a minimalistic yet cozy decoration. Kobe ran to him, licking the man’s hand asking to be picked up. 

“He really likes you, that’s new. Kobe is not that into other guys, you know?” she laughs and continues “Thanks for the help.”

“It’s no problem, really.”

“Mmm, I don’t want to overstep your boundaries and I know you will probably want to sleep all day tomorrow, but I’m having a little dinner with my friends, if you want to, you can come.”

“I would love to!”

“It starts at seven…”

“Great, I’ll see you then.” 

Jay has a hard time accepting the good things that appear in his life. But he was starting to like them. 

He arrived at 7pm sharp on that first friday. She was alone, still cooking. As usual, music played in the background, her lips were wine stained and her right cheek was smudged with focaccia flour. Jay sat by the counter listening to her talk. The look on his face was the same Kobe had when he was afraid of a new object. 

“What is it?” Her sudden laughter startled him. 

“You look like a lost, scared puppy, Jay. I’m talking your ears off, eh?”

“No, it’s fin–“

“Tell me about yourself.”

“Like what?”

“Whatever you want me to know.” she smiled. 

So he told her. He told her how he came from New Zealand to pursue his wrestling dream, how he had traveled the world, how he now works in Japan and he is on the run to become their new champion, how much he loved dogs. He almost told her how he feels about her. Almost. 

Her friends arrived one by one and Jay became the centre of the attention, everyone sat around him wanting to hear his stories, curious about his life. 

That one friday became every friday. He made sure to always arrive at 7pm sharp, so he could have her undivided attention, even if it was for only a little while. 

“It’s just us today.” That’s the first thing he hears when she opens the door after two months apart. “Hope you don’t mind.”

“Of course not.”

That night was different. They sat side by side on the floor, using her coffee table for support. She was closer than usual, listening intently to what he had to say. As always, she was curious about his matches, wanting to know every move, wanting to know how it felt to hold a belt. 

“You wanna see it?” Jay asks shyly. 

“Of course!”

He comes back almost five minutes later with a black velvet bag on his hands, carefully taking the belt out of it and gently placing it in her hands. 

“Gosh, it’s so heavy.” she tells, mesmerised. Her delicate hands trace the words announcing he was the IWGP NEVER Openweight champion. “It’s beautiful too. Put it on.” 

Jay channels the persona that presents itself on that ring almost every night and makes a show of it. 

“Yep, you were made for it.” her statement makes him blush.

Two bottles of white wine, four legs intertwined and a whispered conversation later, she kisses him. 

The world stops for Jay. It was all too fast and too slow. Her breath smelled like the sweet wine  they had been drinking and his lips tingled from her touch. Pressing her forehead to his, she smiled, leaving him breathless.

“You should pay more attention to the signs, Jay.”

Suddenly, everything made sense.

“I’m getting more wine, do you want some?”

Jay had a hard time accepting the good things that appear in his life. But he sure as hell loves them now.

[sparklingchan]

Phenomenal you are || Choi Jongho(Ateez)

Pairing : Reader(fem.) X Jongho

Word count : 2.1k+

Warnings : cuss words.

Genre : Fluff, angst if you look with a microscope, romance, rock band au.

Description: In which, a band practice for the Annual Winter Festival brings Jongho to finally face his true feelings for you. 

A/N : I wrote for ateez after soooo long. I’ve been pre occupied kinda but I’ve written a few drabbles to post from time to time. 

Enjoy!

In the quiet summer afternoon , while the sun is at its most cruel forms and the rest of the world is enjoying their holiday at the pool, the only sound that can be heard from Hongjoong's old car garage is the soft strumming of Jongho's acoustic guitar. Lazy and unmotivated.

"We need a singer." Hongjoong says with a sigh louder than Wooyoung's laugh as all the boys stare at him.

How dare he!

The tension in the air is so thick someone could cut it with a knife and though no one breaks the silence, they know what is to come next.

Jongho stares at Hongjoong, eyes big with curiosity and mouth gaping, half expecting Hongjoong to suddenly start laughing and declare it all a prank.

"We really need a singer." Hongjoong stresses on every word yet again. That's a combination of words he never thought he'd hear the older boy say yet here they were.

"Man, come on, we already have Wooyoung and Jongho. We don't need another singer." Mingi groans, absent-mindedly playing with his drum sticks. His foot is slightly tapping against the bass drum pedal.

Jongho and Wooyoung shake their heads in agreement but Hongjoong looks unconvinced. Like always.

"But the rules for The Winter Music festival are clear. They said that a band needs to have a separate singer along with the instrument players. Or else they won't be allowed to participate!" Hongjoong argues.

Jongho sighs with frustration. He loves singing as much as he loves playing the guitar, but if he had to choose between one, he'd always choose the former. He can't let someone new take his place as the voice of the band.

It hurt his ego more than he'd like to admit to his friends.

"I'll stop playing the guitar. I'll just sing." He suggests, although he's immediately met with Hongjoong's disapproval.

"Don't be fucking ridiculous. Who will play the guitar then? I play the keyboard and Wooyoung is on the bass. We can't play the guitar!"

There he is, leader Hongjoong, who's always right.

"Fine. Fine. So does anyone have any singers in mind? Should we hold a small audition or..?" Mingi says.

Wooyoung smirks at Jongho's direction, leaning in to whisper into his ear, "Dude, its your chance to shine. Come on. Tell them."

Except Wooyoung can't whisper. He can only yell.

"What? Tell us what?" Hongjoong questions.

"Oh, you know y/n right? She sings really well. She has a YouTube channel too." Wooyoung exclaims, walking as far away from Jongho as possible.

Jongho elbows the older boy right in his stomach.

"Y/n? As in Jongho's y/n?" Mingi asks with a mischievous grin.

Jongho hides his face in his hands, cheeks burning red as an unknown combination of happiness and embarrassment wash over.

The sound of your name always makes him feel vulnerable yet he cannot bring himself to hate this new found side of his personality.

Were you truly Jongho's? He didn't know. But did he want you to be his? Obviously, yes.

"So who's going to talk to her?" Hongjoong asks, actually considering it.

Jongho is beyond exasperated at this point, "Hey! We can hold a small audition or something. I'm sure there are other singers who'd want to try out?"

"Do you really want that ?" Wooyoung teases.

No, he doesn't. He doesn't think there's any better singer out there than you. Your honey like voice with the most beautiful texture ever gifted to a human and the way your eyes close in concentration when you feel the music right in your bones always makes him feel weak in the knees. He wants to be able to watch it all live and not from behind a laptop screen.

"Fine. I'll talk to y/n."

No one reacts because they already know Jongho could never say no to anything that involves you.

*

"I'm not very confident, Jongho, I'm telling you!" You cry out loud as you walk down the unfamiliar road with Jongho close by your side, not paying heed to any of your protests.

When Jongho first asked you to join his infamous band as the lead singer, you were sure he was joking. But he insisted that he wasn't and the serious expression plastered on his face showed nothing but honesty so you let yourself believe him.

Of course, you did throw around your own set of tantrums which you were sure irritated him, even so he somehow manages to take you to the boys' practicing session in Kim Hongjoong 's garage.

"Y/n, please, you and I both know you're the best choice. Mind you, Hongjoong personally discarded the idea of an audition just to save this position for you!"

Lies. It was him that had said no to the prospect of holding an open and fair audition for all the students of their school. Because he only ever wanted you.

"Why do I feel like you're buttering me." You mutter to yourself but Jongho obviously hears you, and a smile crawls its way onto his lips.

The garage is old and a little small, you notice the moment you enter the place, but that place also has everything you ever dreamed of - instruments, good mics, a band who wanted you to be their lead singer, and Jongho.

"Hey, y/n! I'm so glad you actually came. You know Jongho's never been the most convincing man on earth, right?" Wooyoung greets you, his fingers busy fiddling with the tuning keys of his bass guitar.

You smile, "I think he convinced me well enough though. "

You shoot Jongho a shy glance, only to find him staring right back at you, his eyes reflecting the same yearning as yours do. The sides of his mouth are slowly curving into a grin, and the thumping in your chest increases as you watch him blush under the warm, afternoon sunlight.

Ethereal is what he looks like to you.

Mingi clears his throat, breaking the unexpectedly long eye contact, "Guys, come on. We have to practice."

And with that begins your musical journey with the boys.

There were really nice and welcoming and made you feel very comfortable. It almost felt like you were...home.

Within weeks, you had gotten so close to the guys, one would almost confuse you of having known each other for a long time when in reality you guys barely talk to each other at school. And nothing would have changed if you hadn't joined the band.

And on the other hand, we have Choi Jongho. Nice and sweet and talented and has heart eyes for you and only you, yet with your new found friendship with the other boys, he finds a foreign feeling of insecurity settling down in his heart, like foreign sediments in fresh water.

Until a few days ago, you were his little secret, his only friend out of his normal social circle at school, he had you all to himself. But now that his other friends have started showing equal interest in you, he feels neglected, jealous even. Though he would die rather than mention it you or the boys.

"We're going for ice cream. Come on." Wooyoung unlocks the door to Mingi's car, and slides is as if it were his own, "I'm driving."

Hongjoon mutters a warning under his breath before sitting in the front passenger's seat while Mingi follows suit, and sits behind them.

"When was this decided?" Jongho leans against the car's door , an irritated expression etched onto his face. His forehead is creased, his eyes alert and his hands are stuffed in his pocket - he looks displeased  .

"When you were in the toilet. What's the big deal." Wooyoung says impatiently.

Jongho looks at you, his forehead crease deepening, "Why didn't you tell me?"

You are taken aback; in all honesty, you hadn't thought it was such a great deal to him. The five of you were just going for ice cream. Its not a life or death situation.

"I-I didn't think it was that important. " you reply.

Jongho scoffs, a sarcastic smile on his lips, "You didn't think it was important to tell me we were going somewhere? I see, I wasn't wrong to think you'd finally sidelined me. "

"Jongho, what are you even saying?" You say, exasperated.

Jongho has never been a man of too many words, or too many gestures. He doesn't have the habit of beating around the bush. Which is why is words are often too honest, too harsh.

You knew this, yet you couldn't help but feel a sting when Jongho accuses you of sidelining him. It feels like your chest is on fire.

"Dude, just get in the car. What's gotten into you?" Hongjoong says.

You are utterly confused - you couldn't believe Choi Jongho is throwing tantrums over something so trivial - the man who is known for his high tolerance and abundant patience.

"Nah, I'm good." Jongho pulls away from the door and turns on his heels , "See you guys tomorrow!"

And with that, he walks in the opposite direction, toward his house. And needless to say, he doesn't even bother sparing a single glance at you.

"Should I go after him?" You ask out of impulse, but you do mean it.

What's the point of going with the guys when your mind would anyway be preoccupied with Jongho?

"Not to play cupid, y/n, but yeah, I think you should." Hongjoong sighs, rubbing the crease between his eyebrows .

You nod, closing the door, "I'll see you guys later then."

"Give him a smack in the head while you're at it ,y/n." Mingi chuckles, shaking his head.

"Oh, I will."

*

Jongho had not walked far enough yet, making it easier for you to run up behind him.

"Oi! Jongho! Wait."

Now, Jongho is sure he's making up things in his head because he genuinely believes you’d not have left the boys behind just to chase him. Well, prove him wrong now, y/n, will you?

"Jongho! " you yell again and this time he stops in his tracks, not having the guts to turn around yet curious enough to wait for you.

"What?" He demands without sparing you a glance still his eyes somehow manage to stare at your shadow on the concrete of the street, "Why didn't you go?"

You quickly catch up to him, though the run exhausts you badly but you convince yourself it's worth it.

If it's for Jongho, everything is worth it.

"Because its no fun without you. "

Jongho had built up this weak wall around him, a wall meant to protect his fragile heart from being broken but there has never been anything as fragile and delicate as this wall - and the words that leave your mouth does exactly that.

"Y/n, I-" he begins but you cut him off.

"Uh, no. Firstly, you owe me an apology for all that you said before, and secondly, you owe me a whole tub of ice cream because I chose my crush over ice cream and that is not done."

You'd never been the best at confessions, really, and before today You'd never felt the need for it either. Yet here you are. Confessing to Jongho as if it were the most natural thing to do.

"You - what?" He asks in disbelief, his body growing warm under your intimidating gaze.

Y/n just confessed to you, dumb ass, wake up!

"Yeah, yeah. Don't get too ahead of yourself." You roll your eyes, wrapping a shaky arm around his.

"Do you really mean it, y/n?" He asks in the most sincere voice, the tremble in his voice giving him away completely.

Jongho doesn't deny your touch but he does look away from you, his face scrunching in a peculiar way.

You don't know if he's crying or laughing or about to combust, but whatever it is , the slight blush on his cheeks and the softness of his eyes makes you feel all mushy inside.

"Of course! " you whine, "Why don't you believe me?"

Jongho pulls you closer and then wraps his arms around you - like how he'd seen people do in those stupid rom com movies. And when you hug him back , placing the softest kiss on his cheek, he realises how relieved he is.

“I believe you.” He sighs, “And I like you, too.”

And he realises how much more special this feels than the scenarios he’d often make up in his head. He realises how terribly sweet you smell, how radiant your laughter is and how phenomenal you are.

[mizunetzu]

Maybe some Kuroo x Male reader,, I just need some of my boy 😩

Of course !!! Kuroos the HOMIE I tell you-

————

Kuroo x reader - I’m not gay

⚠️ Warnings - Confused reader, pretty much none

Prounouns - Male, He/Him

——————

I’m not gay,

is what (y/n) told himself, at age 7.

He was over at his friends house, deciding on a movie to watch before they had to go to sleep.

When he held up a rather feminine looking cd, one of them snickered, and the other didn’t even spare it a glance.

“(Y/n)- thats for girls!”

“I-I know that! Shut up! It...it looked interesting...”

“Kuroo-give (y/n) a break...” Kenma murmured, looking up from his Ds briefly.

——

I’m not gay,

Is what (y/n) told himself, in his third year of Junior high school.

He wasn’t going to lie when he said he was a bit curious about the topic, but he’d never considered himself being attracted to the same gender.

Which is why he asked his close female friend if he could kiss her.

It was an odd question, but (y/n) needed to settle something within himself. Just a quick peck on the lips to see if the feelings would go away.

(Y/n) was rather surprised when she nodded yes, because people usually say no when people ask you to kiss them. But he wasn’t disappointed, no.

She leaned up on her tippy toes, pressing a chaste kiss onto (y/n’s) lips, before settling back down on the balls of her feet and hiding her flushed face with the mass of her uniforms sleeves. She peeked through her fingers to see (y/n’s) eyes fixed on the ground in front of him, with a distasteful frown gracing his features.

That didn’t feel right, (y/n) thought.

——

I’m...im not....

Is what (Y/n) told himself, during his second year of high school.

He was in the volleyball club in his school, and the intrusive thoughts hadn’t cross his mind since back in junior high. It was actually going pretty good.

He only had one girlfriend the entire time he was in high school, but he ended it pretty quickly to focus on himself, his feelings, and building Nekoma’s defense. (Hell yeah, sports!!)

Nekoma had a training camp where other schools were invited, which is how he found himself sitting in a circle with a few other teammates and managers, playing ‘never have I ever’.

Most of Nekoma was crowded in the circle, with some stragglers from fukurodani, and Tanaka with Nishinoya and Hinata.

The managers from other schools, both fukurodani’s managers, along with Kyoko and Yachi were there too. (Y/n) was pretty sure that Tanaka, Nishinoya, and maybe Yamamoto were only there to “protect Kiyoko Senpai”, but hey, at least they had more players that way.

People went around saying things like “never have I ever cheated on an exam”, “never have I ever served straight to the libero,” or “never have I ever been the cause of bokutos emo mode”

(That question itself put bokuto in his emo mode)

(Y/n) was the only one who had all fingers up, followed by Kuroo, who had only 2 fingers down, then Akaashi, with 4 fingers down.

It was going pretty smoothly until Yukie, one of Fukurodani’s managers, asked,

“Never have I ever had a crush on someone in this circle.”

Not many people put a finger down, but the question made (y/n’s) questionable thoughts come back in a flash. It forced him to think if he did find any of the girls in the circle attractive, and after ruling all them out, he, half jokingly, turned his attention to the boys.

His eyes drifted from each of the volleyball players, until his eyes landed on Kuroo.

Kuroo. One of his childhood friends. Someone he, regretfully, considered attractive. I mean, he had a nice build, he was in the college preparatory classes, and his thighs could crush-

No, shut up. He’s a man.

You’re a man.

....What the fuck?

(Y/n) didn’t even notice his finger fold itself in, until everyone gasped and started berating him with squeals and questions.

“Who is it?!?”

“It better not be Kiyoko Senpai!”

“It has to be to be Kaori, (Y/n’s) been talking to her alooooot lately!”

He couldn’t help but scrunch up his nose at the idea of dating one of Fukurodani’s managers.

“It’s...it’s not Kaori, no offense but I’d never date Kaori...” (Y/n) mused out as nonchalantly as he could. The second those words flew out of his mouth, he regretted not pretending it was Kaori, so they could drop the topic.

Everyone’s comments went in one of (y/n’s) ear and out the other, until yaku cleared his throat and said,

“If it’s not any of the managers, is it a guy then?”

All of the questions died down almost instantly. (Y/n) felt his blood ran cold.

“I mean...is it?” Akaashi broke the silence, maintaining direct eye contact with (y/n).

I’m not too sure with myself, (y/n) thought, chuckling dryly.

With (y/n’s) answer, or lack thereof, everyone started listing off the boys names or saying “is it me?? If it is sorry dude! Haha..” or some variations of that.

(Y/n) felt like he was going to combust with all the “is it —?’s” and “is it me’s??” He never wanted to think about it again, yet here he was, being-

“Is it Kuroo?” Bokuto grinned, half joking, gesturing to the 3rd year sitting right next to him.

(Y/n’s) eyes widened comically. Was it Kuroo?

He wasn’t sure why this one flushed him so bad. His hands started trembling from their spot in the air, and a red tint spread across his face like a virus. He knew he admired his captain, but having a full blown crush on him? He didn’t dare look up at everyone’s prying gaze, instead suddenly finding immense interest in a broken seam in his red volleyball shorts.

“Oh my god, it is Kuroo!” Someone squealed, probably someone like Bokuto. All their voices seemed to merge together and sound the same. People were gasping, nudging (y/n’s) shoulder, or saying stuff like “I support you!!” Or “you too would be soooo cute together!”

(Y/n) brought his fingers down and entangled them in his sweaty hair. “I’m..I’m not gay. I’m not...” (Y/n) rasped out defensively, trying to convince himself more than anyone else.

Warm hands grasped his wrists, pulling them away from (y/n) gently, forcing him to look up. Kuroo held a shit eating grin that made (y/n’s) stomach churn in both a good way and a horrible, horrible way.

“Oi oi, it’s ok to like boys (y/n)-what, are you in denial or someth-“

“Shut up! I’m straight, and I don’t like you! Don’t touch me!” (Y/n) suddenly lashed out, whipping his wrists out from Kuroo’s hold. He stood up abruptly, choked out a weak “I’m gonna get some fresh air” and staggered out of the room.

No one seemed to notice that Kuroo had put a finger down, as well.

——

Im not gay. I’m not gay. I’m not gay.

Is what (y/n) repeatedly told himself, in the bathroom.

(Y/n) threw water onto his face, before slapping his cheeks as hard as he can. He then backed into the bathroom wall and let himself sink down to the cold floor tiles.

“Goddamit...nnNNFUCK!” (Y/n) dug both his fists into the dirty bathroom floor. His hands stung from the impact. A sigh escaped from his lips as he hid his sopping wet face into his hands.

“What...the fuck...I’m not...they’re just...just stupid! Yeah! They’re stupid and I don’t have a crush on stupid Kuroo! Yeah! Y-Yeah..! .....Yeah...”

He sat in silence for what seemed like forever, before he got sick of listening to his own thoughts. He shakily brought himself up to his feet, and exited the bathroom.

——

Im not gay,

Is what (y/n) told himself, more calmly than before, heading towards the sleeping rooms with a stable smile.

He almost made it scott-free before he felt a hand firmly grasp his shoulder.

“Hey.”

(Y/n) didn’t dare to turn around.

“I...they..might’ve jumped to conclusions, but I really need to know.”

Do you now? Cause I’d like to know, too.

A heavy silence consumed both of them whole. Kuroo forced (y/n) to turn around, tilting his head up with his finger.

“Do you like me.” It was more like a statement than a question.

“I...i don’t know? I think? Maybe?? I-I’m not sure...” Kuroos serious gaze boor holes into (y/n’s) face.

“You don’t know?”

“I don’t know! I mean-I’ve always thought about it, but I never considered that I could be...y’know...and I never really thought about you like that till Bokuto brought it up...”

Kuroo was tacken aback by the sudden raise in pitch, but quickly regained his neutral expression.

“Kiss me.”

It was (Y/n’s) turn to be shocked.

“What-“

“You heard me.”

“You can’t be serious,” (y/n) awkwardly chuckled. He ran fingers through his hair. “Kuroo, hey-“

The middle blocker grabbed hold of the (h/c) boy. He yelped and struggled in his grasp, but Kuroo held his hand firm.

“You don’t know how you feel about me, right? Do you want your answer or not?”

It was rare moments like these where Kuroo wasn’t being smug, or wearing his shit-eating grin, that ignited a confusing flame inside (y/n’s) chest and/or dick. (Y/n) let out a shaky breath.

“Yeah, fine-whatever lets get it over with.” (Y/n) grumbled, red in the face.

Kuroo took hold of (y/n’s) chin with his thumb and index finger, and snaked his other arm around the boys waist. He leaned in slowly, letting their lips meet in the middle.

This didn’t feel similar to the kiss he had in junior high. It felt better. It didn’t feel forced or boring like it did when he kissed that girl, this one feels nice. (Y/n) let his eyes flutter closed while he clutched Kuroos shoulders weakly.

Kuroo began to pull away, but (y/n) whimpered and lunged forward to connect their lips once more. It was a sensation that he never wanted to let go of, but of course, air was also something he couldn’t live without.

They pulled away simultaneously, (y/n) very obviously heaving while Kuroo let out a few deep exhales.

“So...” Kuroo said, wiping spit from his swollen red lips. “How do-“

“I love you.” (Y/n) said, testing the words out on his tongue.

“Hm?” Kuroos vague response dug a pit into (y/n’s) stomach. Did I misread this situation?

(Y/n) broke into a cold sweat. “Aah...I mean-I think, no hard feelings if you don’t like dudes-I mean I just found out myself so it’s all good-“ Kuroos booming, stupid hyena laugh broke (y/n) out of his rambling session. (Y/n) looked up at the middle blocker, and slowly relaxed and let himself smile at his antics.

“You really think too much...” Kuroo said, wiping an invisible tear from his eye. “Don’t worry, I like you too~”

He patted the boy on his head, as (y/n’s) cheeks flushed involuntarily.

I could be gay,

(Y/n) told himself, hand in hand with his newly found boyfriend, Kuroo Tetsurō.

And that’s fine by me.

———————

Extra:

“Get it, (y/n)! Kuroo! Use a condom boys!” Bokuto yelled, from behind a gym wall with Akaashi. The two turned around, surprised.

“Sorry. Bokuto was curious when you said ‘I need to find my new boyfriend, I’ll be right back’, and left.” Akaashi said, fiddling with his ring finger.

“It’s fine. I wasn’t lying when I said ‘new boyfriend’ though, huh, (Y/n)?” Kuroo smirked, slapping his ‘new boyfriend’ firm on the ass. (Y/n) gave a yelp before blushing and clutching the spot where Kuroo smacked.

It would’ve been fine if it was a normal person who slapped him, but in his case, it wasn’t.

But let me tell you, volleyball players spikes are very, very hard. And Kuroo was no exception.

There was a hand-shaped mark on (Y/n’s) ass for a week straight.

————————