#dude rolls up to a school that specializes in double battles not even knowing that you can optimize your team for that battle style

[wildflowercryptid]

i like to think that the other bb students' perception of florian goes from thinking he's this cool mysterious & melancholic pretty boy trainer from paldea that blazed through the bb elite 4 and nearly beat kieran to wondering how the hell someone who seems to know shit about dick when it comes to battling ended up as an exchange student at a battling-focused school.

[yoonpobs]

bad boy good thing xiv.

pairing: jeon jungkook x oc

genre: angst, smut, fluff, miscommunication (we hate her lol), pining

warnings: smut, jungkook is really an asshole, the angst hurts a lot tbh, unhealthy relationships (?)

words: 5, 690

summary: a series of drabbles where you're confused and jungkook's confusing

a/n:

hello!!!! we’re here at fourteen chapters omg ✨✨when i first started this series it was mostly self-indulgent and now there are people who actually enjoy reading it??🥺 it almost doesn’t seem real T.T 

thank you so much for the love and support!!! just so I don't give too much spoilers for this chap - I apologise to my fellow geminis for the potential slander 🤣 this is more of a self-drag lmaooo 

anyway, I hope you enjoy this chap!!!

“Ah. I’m getting allergies.” Yena sniffs, scrunching her nose.

You furrow your brows in concern, “Are you okay? Do you need any medicine?”

“It’s just the seasonal changes,” She brushes you off.

You nod in understanding, “I get it. My mom has horrible reactions towards pollen so—”

“I’m not allergic to flowers.” She blinks.

“Then what—?”

“It’s Gemini season. It’s like—literally the worst time of the year.” She blinks.

You gawk at her, taking a whole ten seconds to process her serious tone when she doesn’t waver under your scrutiny.

“I’m a Gemini,” You inform her slowly.

“I mean …” She shrugs all as you scowl at her, opting to throw the closest object you had, which was your favourite pen so you decide against it; simply shooting her the meanest glare you could possibly muster.

“Look, it’s not you,” She sighs, and you’re half-expecting her to finish with an it’s me to make you scoff, “It’s me.” And there you go. “I mean, it’s Gemini’s in general because they’re two-faced bitches who have the worst emotional attachment issues. Like they’re literally what the opposite of glue is. And they’re so over-analytical. How is it like psychoanalysing every person you meet only to hurt your own feelings and sulk about it?”

You blink.

“I mean it’s not you but if the shoe fits.” She says casually, plopping a grape into her mouth that you’re tempted to slap away.

“You’re so mean!” You pout indignantly.

She cackles, throwing her head back as you continue to sulk. You weren’t that bad. You just … you were risk-averse! You liked having the freedom to observe everyone and anyone and package them into tiny compartments in your head so you could understand them better. You weren’t … that Gemini.

“You’re so cute,” She coos pinching your cheeks. “No wonder Beef One and Beef Two like you so much.” She teases.

Your first reaction is to blush because you know who exactly she’s talking about, but you have more pressing matters, like—

“You have nicknames for them?” You ask, baffled.

“Hey, I wasn’t friends with many girls in high school. Don’t girls usually have nicknames for their crushes?” She says through a pout.

You stay expressionless as you try to gauge the level of seriousness you can extract from her tone.

You realise she’s dead serious.

“Yeah, but we’re in college,” You argue, scrunching your nose, “And sides’, it’s not like they’re strangers. We know them.”

She rolls her eyes, waving you off like you were the inconvenience here. Then she leans forward, her eyes twinkling as she takes a complete one-eighty that you try to adjust to.

“So … you Gemini hoe, what’s your plans?” She nudges you.

You raise a brow, “Did you just call me a—?”

“Plans, ___. Stay on track.” She scolds.

You sigh, still fond but you pretend to be annoyed. You really couldn’t get annoyed with Yena. After all, the more time you spend with her the more you realise how much life sucked before you had her in your life. You spent each moment learning more about her quirks and habits, her choice of words that made you giggle or laugh until you were crying.

And you realise that this is how she loves, a little rough but welcomed nonetheless.

“If you’re talking about my birthday then … not much. I’m probably stuck doing admin work for the college’s charity programme.” You shrug, stabbing a fork into your soiled salad.

Yena gapes at you, “Not much—excuse me? It’s your birthday! You’re turning twenty-five!” 

You look at her dryly, “I’ve been twenty-five since the year—”

She groans, “That’s not the same! You’re like—officially twenty-five. You’re literally hitting the mark for a quarter-life crisis. Isn’t that something to celebrate?” 

“Me going through an existential crisis at the end of my degree is not how I want to celebrate my birthday but okay,” You blink.

She rolls her eyes at your realism.

“That’s not the point. Point is, this is our first birthday together and I want it to be special.” She points out.

You snort, “What? Are we doubling my birthday as our monthsary or something?”

She shoves you with a brute force that has you snickering but she continues to pester you anyway.

“You’re so dumb. So smart, but so dumb,” She shakes her head, “You’re always studying or doing some form of work that requires the use of more than one brain cell. You deserve a break. Besides, you have two dudes to pick from on how you’d like to be wined and dined and—”

“Yena!” You whine.

“—it’ll be like an episode of the Bachelorette! But just with a super cool and smart best friend that’ll make the decision for you. It’s not your birthday. It’s ours.” She emphasises towards the end.

You stare at her for a long second, before the two of you are bursting into laughter at the absurdity of her statement. 

It was nice, just to laugh about things without having your heart feel so heavy. Even if it was a mild distraction, it was still wholly pleasant to be able to just talk about mindless things that didn’t require much mental gymnastics to navigate the conversation with.

“What are the two of you laughing about?” Taehyung and Jimin arrive at impeccable timing, sliding into the booth with their own packaged food. It’s very college-student-esque, a cute paper (because no plastic) container filled with an array of assortments.

“None of your XY chromosomes business.” Yena retorts.

Jimin blinks, “You are literally so hostile.”

“Then don’t give me a reason to be.” She sticks her tongue out petulantly.

You laugh, nudging her with your shoulder, “Be nice.”

Taehyung rolls his eyes but manages to keep a civil smile on his face. Always the more rational one between the two. 

“Anyway, Yena definitely isn’t going to answer me so, what’s up?” He turns to look at you.

You roll your eyes but it’s half-hearted, “She wants to celebrate my birthday like we’re on the Bachelorette.”

“Like you’re on the Bachelorette.” She corrects.

“Oh my God, our baby’s turning twenty-five!” Jimin coos at the reminder, pinching your cheeks as he coddles you. You scowl and weakly shove him away, even if you preen under the attention.

“I’m literally older than the both of you.” You huff.

Yena blinks, “There’s no way I’m the oldest person at this table.”

Taehyung furrows his brows, “Wait—how old are you?”

She sends him a scathing glare that has his arms raised up in defence.

“Jeez, okay. Don’t answer.”

“I’m going to answer because you told me not to.” She clips. “I’m twenty-seven.”

Jimin blinks, “No wonder you and Yoongi hyung are so alike.”

You almost miss it, but as Yena so eloquently pointed out, you were a sucker for psychoanalysing people (even if you didn’t want to admit it yet) that you notice the way she flushes ever so slightly as she scoffs.

“Him? How dare you compare me to that sorry excuse of a—!”

“Okay, everyone is beneath you. I’m sorry your highness.” Jimin rolls his eyes.

You make a note to ask her about it because you know for a fact that Yoongi ‘complains’ about Yena every hour he can. It’s almost as if he can’t go long enough without mentioning her.

You smile to yourself as you duck your head.

“Exactly,” She flips her hair over her shoulders before turning to face you. “Anyway, back to you—our baby.”

Taehyung nods, “Exactly, the baby.”

You scrunch your nose, “Don’t coddle me.”

He pats your head before cooing at you like he would to an actual baby, “But you’re just so cute. You’re too good for this shitty world. Too good for the likes of mere mortals like us.”

“Not me.” Yena blinks before gesturing to their bodies, “You.”

Jimin sticks his tongue out in retaliation as you sigh at their never-ending bickering.

Somehow … it felt right. You think it most of the times but you don’t know any other way to describe how it feels to be back with your friends, laughing, bickering and just appreciating their presence.

When you and Jungkook had your issues, it was like you made the conscious choice to avoid everyone and anyone as much as you could, and any interaction you had during that period was purely out of coincidences and not the intention. You remember actively avoiding Jimin and Taehyung because it felt too draining to pretend like you didn’t have a battle in your head. Even studying or spending time with Namjoon made you feel guilty, the thought of Jungkook lingering in your mind. Yena was there through it all, but even then you saw her as much as you did with any of your classmates you so happened to share a class with.

In fact, if it weren’t for Yena you’d probably have zero social interactions as a whole because she just knew. She somehow picked up on your internal conflicts but never outwardly shamed you or confronted you about it. All she did was be there for you, offering you her presence and you were grateful.

So, yeah. Things were better, but your heart was still at its core—confused. Your feelings for Jungkook didn’t disappear overnight and you knew that you were the one that asked for space.

You forgave him … you did, honestly. But there are things you can’t forget, and those are the things that you wished you could. The words he said in principle, was outright shitty. But the fact that it came from him only poked at every single one of your insecurities that you developed over the years.

You knew it wasn’t healthy to compare yourself to other women when they were living vastly different lives than you were, but it’s proven difficult when you’re forced to see these type of women every day, at college, in your community work or on the media. 

Believing Jungkook’s apparent feelings for you was harder because, well. Jungkook was Jungkook. He wasn’t just another guy, and despite his shortcomings, he had more merits than he’d let on and you knew that people saw that. It was also the fact that Jungkook had a charm that drew all types of people in. He was soft-spoken but passionate, and people loved a quiet achiever.

You … knew about the women. Way before Jennie and way before the thing between the two of you happened. Jimin and Taehyung would always update you about the new fling or girl he had tied to his hip just as he was in his final year in high school. You had to force a smile every single time they’d snicker and joke about how your Jungkook suddenly became a man overnight.

And you noticed the trend with the women he liked. They were … captivating. Beautiful wasn’t even enough to describe them because they looked like they could carry the world on their shoulders and spark immense change with just the movement of their lips. They were confident and charismatic, outgoing and just the right amount of flirty. You were anything but.

It sucked, majorly, because you spent years agonising over the fact that you were already coined with the older sister title in the group because of the way you acted—just a little more uptight than the average woman your age. You were quiet but loud in the right company; you didn’t like crowds, socialising or mingling around with people you didn’t know and based on your observations it seemed like that was the only thing that Jungkook’s been doing ever since he made it to senior year in high school, and even in the first years of college.

You don’t resent him, you think. You couldn’t blame him because you weren’t honest either. You consented, to all of the kisses and touches even if he hadn’t officially had sex with you. You wanted to, but you were terrified. Not at the prospect of penetration but at the prospect of not being enough and the fact that Jungkook was the only person you wanted to have sex with while he had options that were far more attractive and experienced than you were.

That’s why you needed time because at least you could get your shit together even if it was an uphill battle.

“Earth to ____?” Taehyung waves a hand in front of your face with a concerned expression.

You blink, snapping out of your daze as you offer a meek smile and an apology.

“We just asked you if you wanted a small get together at Tae’s and I’s place for your birthday?” Jimin asks.

“Really?” You beam. That was exactly what you preferred.

“Yeah, we know you don’t like clubs and stuff. Just a small and intimate gathering with all your best buds.” He grins.

You nod your head, but Yena beats you to a response.

“By best buds you mean the three friends she has, which is us and the two meatheads duelling for her affection.” She snorts.

You flush, “Y-Yena!”

Taehyung snickers at your embarrassment.

“It doesn’t help that both of them are literally the biggest dudes on the football team. It’s literally like watching King Kong and Godzilla getting into a fight for world domination.”

Jimin throws his back in laughter as you fold your arms across your chest at post at the way your friends are practically crying in laughter at the image. Jimin was clutching onto Taehyung for his dear life because if he didn’t then he’d fall off the chair.

“Stop,” You whine, “you guys are being mean.”

“Oh my God, you’re literally the only person on this earth that would take two people fighting for your attention as an offence.” Taehyung groans.

“I-It’s not that!” You deny exasperatedly, “I-It’s just … awkward …”

Jimin sighs with a small smile, patting your head.

“If it’s any consolation I think it’s offensive that Jungkook thinks he even has the right to breathe in—”

“Jimin!”

“Wow. It really is like King Kong and Godzilla.” Jimin whistles lowly, eyeing the scene before him with amusement lingering in his eyes.

“Do you think they’re gonna start slamming their chests soon or …?” Taehyung trails off in a whisper, leaning into Jimin so that the two other men wouldn’t notice.

“I can literally hear you.” You say dryly.

Jimin offers you a plastic smile, “You’re meant to hear us, babe. How about you try to tame them like Jane did with Tarzan?”

Jimin nearly shrieks when you shove him so fiercely that he topples over into Taehyung’s grasp as the second part of the duo only catches him in the process. 

You sigh, completely ignoring the way that Jimin’s muttering curses that were directed to you under his breath. Instead, you were transfixed on the scene before you—which specifically is Jungkook and Namjoon staring each other down through the mirror of the gym. You were lucky that it was just the five of you since Namjoon was able to use his captain privileges to book the gym because you had no idea how to explain the fact that two big-sized men were attempting to outdo each other in their circuit reps as if they were on a suicide mission.

“Listen, when I agreed to help you out with your sets I thought I was meant to help log it in for a report.” You exasperate, but the two men continue their manly lift-off as they huff and puff their exertion away.

“Trust me, you are helping. Being the motivation is more than—”

This time it’s Taehyung who faces your wrath as you thwack him upside the head. 

From where Jungkook and Namjoon were, Jungkook can only deliver death stares into the direction of his captain who returns it tenfold. He wasn’t even sure why they were doing this but something a flicked definitely switched in Jungkook when Namjoon (purposefully) revealed that you were helping out with something. At the gym. Supposedly alone.

Jungkook’s primitive side came out because the next thing Namjoon knew was that Jungkook managed to drag himself, and Jimin and Taehyung as a diversion. He still feels his chest swell with pride when recalling the scowl on Namjoon’s face when he entered the gym, all fake smiles and a pep in his step.

“____, could you help me spot?” Namjoon breathes, sitting up from whatever the hell he was doing with the barbell. You weren’t fixated with gym language and you weren’t even sure why he was asking you when there was an entire Jimin and Taehyung right next to you.

“Uh, okay sure—“

“Noona,” Jungkook calls.

You freeze.

“Jungkook … I thought we established that you don’t need to call me that anymore.” You raise an eyebrow.

You miss the obvious glare that Namjoon shoots his bitchass friend, as well as the snorts that leave Jimin and Taehyung’s mouth.

“Pay attention to me,” Jungkook pouts. Like, actually pouts. You somehow flush because he seemed so much like the younger version of Jungkook who used to always coddle you for attention.

“Okay but after I help—”

“Yeah. After she helps me.” Namjoon interjects, and you nearly jump at the way he’s suddenly behind you, more so—pressed against your back with his hands on your hips as he moves you aside to get to another piece of equipment.

Your breath hitches because while you weren’t exactly invested in Namjoon in the romantic sense, he was undeniably attractive and … big. You could salivate in private.

“Oh my God, do you see that?” Taehyung hisses in a hushed whisper.

“Hyung is petty,” Jimin gawks.

“This is Namjoon we’re talking about. Didn’t he steal all the umbrellas from your dorm because you ratted him out to the librarian when he broke a bookshelf?” Taehyung recalls.

Jimin pauses to retract his mind to that moment.

“He’s so petty and I’m living for it. Look at Kook’s face,” He snickers, nudging Taehyung with his shoulder.

Jungkook only can clench his jaw in return because he knew that you wouldn’t be a fan of him reaching out to strangle the shit out of Namjoon. But the older boy seems fine, if not pleased with how Jungkook’s fuming in his own spot.

“Let me just …” You cock a thumb to Namjoon, before releasing a breath of your own and going to help him with whatever he needed in the first place.

“Jimin can help him. I have a more pressing problem.” He complains.

You stop in your tracks before turning around, raising an eyebrow at Jungkook who finally sits up, still staring at you like you held all the solutions in the world.

“Literally wait for your turn,” Namjoon scowls.

“My arm hurts,” Jungkook says, raising his arm to show you. 

“I don’t … see anything?” You furrow your brows.

“Because my muscles hurt, Noona,” Jungkook emphasises with a flex of his bicep and you can feel yourself get hot in the way your eyes can’t stray away.

You’re momentarily distracted by the blatant display of muscle by Jungkook that you completely miss the way that Jimin and Taehyung are struggling to breathe because of how hard they’re stifling their laughter or the way that Namjoon is contemplating on throwing the nearest dumbbell into Jungkook’s direction.

You flush, “Okay, you know what? Wait here. Let me get the first aid kit.” You mumble, quickly scampering off to alleviate yourself from the situation.

The moment you leave the room, Namjoon takes two long strides until he reaches where Jungkook’s sat, before wrapping a hand around the arm that was supposedly hurt—and squeezes.

“Ow! What the fuck hyung?!” Jungkook shrieks.

“Don’t hyung me, you brat.” Namjoon seethes, “What the fuck is wrong with you?”

Jungkook gapes, while Jimin and Taehyung watch in amusement.

“Me?! What’s wrong with you?” Jungkook retorts, equally as agitated, “Oh, _____, help spot me! Woe is me! Like she wouldn’t get crushed under you, you meathead!” 

“Like you’re any better,” Namjoon snaps, “Oh, Noona, pay attention to me. My arm hurts. You might as well have asked her to change your fucking diapers at the rate you’re acting like a damn child.”

“You’re the one that started all of this!” Jungkook exasperates, “With all due respect hyung, I love you and you’re my captain but I really feel like smashing your head into the wall right now.”

“That’s it?” Namjoon scoffs, “Well I’ll do you one better and let you know that every time you breathe in my direction I feel like—”

“Oh my God will you two idiots shut the fuck up?” Taehyung interjects, snapping at the two boys who pause, staring up at him with wide eyes.

Even Jimin is surprised at Taehyung’s intervention, purely because he was the type that usually let shit slide or let other people put problematic individuals into place. He was the mediator, the diplomat—not usually the aggressor.

“Wha—”

“Another peep and I’m going to smother your body under the dumbbells and leave you here to rot and die.” Taehyung seethes, staring straight into Jungkook’s soul.

That shuts him up.

“Both of you are acting like goddamn children, and for what? To battle out your masculinity to see who gets ____’s attention first?” Taehyung exasperates.

Namjoon clears his throat, “We were just—”

“—acting like a bunch of barbarians who’s never seen civilisation?” Taehyung retorts dryly, “Yeah. Because that’s exactly what this looks like. The two of you are so petty and for what? You two are literally rubbing the last remaining brain cells you have with each other but nothing is coming out from it. Like—nothing. Do you think she’d give a shit which one of you can lift more reps? That means absolutely nothing! She’s already freaked the fuck out at the prospect of her childhood best friend being in love with her and now we have Big Tit Number One and Two battling it out like you’re in the Greek Olympics.”

Jungkook blinks, and Jimin is mildly impressed.

“So before she comes back and tends to Jungkook’s hurt muscle,” Taehyung sneers, eyes narrowing at a guilty-looking Jungkook, “Both of you better sort your shit out.”

Namjoon flushes, embarrassed at the prospect of being called out, all while Jungkook is avoiding eye contact at all costs.

“Oh my God, do you have a crush on each other or something? Apologise!” Taehyung gestures towards the two boys who awkwardly blink at each other, feeling much like reprimanded children.

It’s Namjoon who breaks the silence first, clearly the more mature one in the situation.

“Look … Jungkook,” He sighs, “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to … drag it out like this. I don’t mean it maliciously and you’re my friend and teammate, so I’d really hate if a girl got in the way.”

Jungkook nibbles on his lips, eyebrows still scrunched; and the irrational part of him tells him to ignore the apology. But with the way that Taehyung is glaring him down, with Jimin’s expectant gaze, he knows that he doesn’t have much of a choice.

“I’m sorry … too,” he winces at his own voice, “But just to let you know … I really …” He shuts his eyes, feeling his chest tighten when he tries to force the words out, “She isn’t just … a girl to me, hyung. I really, really like her. And—I know you like her too but … I fucked up and I really want to make things right and seeing you—”

Jungkook is flushing while he rambles on, fully aware that the rest of his friends are listening intently to him speaking his heart. But a hand rests itself on his shoulder, and when Jungkook opens his eyes he sees Namjoon offering him a gentle smile.

“I know,” He says, “I know I said I wouldn’t back off …” He trails off and Jungkook recalls the conversation he had with him in the very same gym just a few weeks back, “But I don’t think I can compete with a decade long love story.” 

Jungkook scoffs, though his ears are flushed.

“It’s really not—”

Namjoon waves him off, clasping a tight hand onto his back that tells him it’s okay, and whatever that was going on would get better. And Jungkook feels marginally better and allows himself to let out a sigh of release.

“So are the two of you gonna kiss or what?” Jimin asks in the midst of the silence.

Namjoon glares at the boy, “Don’t make me give you an extra ten laps.”

He backs down immediately, raising his hands up in defence. And at that moment, you return, all smiles and with a pant as you raise the first aid kit up.

“Your arm?” You smile sweetly, and Jungkook can only offer a weak on in return.

“Can I ask you something?” 

“Depends. Will I have to run from the government if I answer you honestly?” Yena ponders out loud.

You roll your eyes but shake your head anyway. The two of you were meant to be cooking dinner but you’ve surrendered yourself to Netflix and Yena’s witty live commentary on horrible films you were scrolling through an hour earlier. Though, your head wasn’t quite in it, to begin with; your thoughts drifting to other aspects, ones that you thought too hard for and didn’t necessarily know the answer to.

It was frustrating, the way that you wanted to have a solution for everything but overthought every single case that happens to pass by your mind. 

“No one’s hunting anyone down, your anarchist,” You say, “This is a little … personal.” 

You didn’t have any girl friends prior to Yena, and that was your first mistake. You weren’t the person that actively avoided having girl friends because you thought they were dramatic or overly emotional but purely because you never knew how to befriend women. It was weird—being a woman yet being muddled with your own sense of femininity that suppressed your ability to form meaningful friendships with your women peers.

Throughout most of your childhood and teenaged life, you only had Jimin, Taehyung and Jungkook. While they were more than enough to keep your memories cheerful and filled with laughter, there were more personal things that you couldn’t quite approach them with. They had each other to confide in their ‘manly’ discussions, small talk that you’d often flush at—but you couldn’t ask them the same things you wanted to.

You knew, that on a fundamental level that your personal things were just … things. It wasn’t that deep, nor did it require a PhD in Gender Studies to fully understand the nuance of periods or apparent ‘girl’ problems; you just needed to listen. But you were timid, and you got embarrassed super easily—so that never boded well whenever you’d want to approach them with a question of your own.

But now, you had Yena—debatably the most open and understanding person you’ve met in your life; and you owed it to yourself, and her—to be honest, to live yourself vicariously in your girl best friends eyes—and ask:

“How do you have sex?”

Granted, there was definitely a smoother way of peeling off the bandaid, but you supposed if you were going to be discussing this one way or another, you’d go big or go home.

“I’m sorry,” She coughs, “What?”

You blink.

“Sorry, I guess I should’ve asked if you were a virgin first …” You mumble.

Yena stares at you with a stupefied expression as she gapes at you.

“Hey, repeat after me: candy, tree and cat.” She grabs you by your shoulders.

“I’m not cerebrally compromised, Yena,” you say dryly.

“Repeat,” She glares.

You huff, shoving her hand off your shoulder.

“Candy, tree and cat. There, happy?” You huff.

She eyes you weirdly as you sigh. 

“Are you sure you’re okay?”

“Yes!” You exasperate, “So like … how? Do you just? Penetrate?”

Yena blinks one more time, her eyes trailing to the ceiling as she asks for a higher being to give her strength before she returns her gaze onto your figure.

“Babe, that is literally the unsexiest way to approach sex.” 

“Penetration?” You furrow your brows.

She scrunches her brows, “No.” She gestures to you, “That.”

You scowl.

“I don’t know how to approach sex! That’s why I’m asking you. I literally don’t know who else to approach. If I went to Jimin or Taehyung I’m pretty sure they’d just stare at me and cry. Namjoon is out of the picture because he’d likely approach sex textbook style and I don’t need that level of detail right now. I definitely can’t ask Jungkook because he’s the guy I wanna have sex with. So yeah. I’m here because you’re a woman and the only person I can have a full conversation with without losing my will to live.”

Yena gawks at you, jaw slack as you finish your ramble; ears flushed.

“… you …” She begins, wracking her brain for the words that seem to fail her, “… okay. You know what, the fact that you’re here and putting your big girl pants on and asking me this is a feat in itself so I’m going to just ignore the fact that you said you wanted to have sex with Jungkook.”

You flush, “I was word vomiting—”

“Ah,” She holds her hands up, levelling you with a knowing glare, “If you want honest, you be honest too.”

You slump in your seat, sighing as you nod your head defeatedly.

“Firstly, I’m not a virgin. I could never be a virgin.” Yena declares, “Granted, I’ve slept with three people and two of them were women. But the idiot I lost my virginity to was, unfortunately, of XY chromosomes so … I guess I can answer your questions.”

“I mean … I know how sex works but … approaching it …” You mutter.

“And sex isn’t this groundbreaking act that requires Einstein’s IQ to partake in. It’s both intimate and not, and that’s definitely a personal preference. You can know the semantics of how people have sex, for hets in this case, which is just the classic ol’ penetration method where the penis enters the—”

“Your point?” You exasperate.

“—okay, I got a little carried away. But really, sex isn’t … difficult. It’s scary, I’ll give you that. But you don’t go into your first time thinking you’ll be great at it. Hell, you won’t even like sex that much your first few times unless your partner is a sex demon or something.”

“I mean when Jungkook …” You shudder, “When he … I … you know, did things … it felt …” You fiddle with your fingers. Your ears were undoubtedly on fire, and you were so embarrassed saying these things out loud because it was just so awkward!

“Good? You know I’m not going to judge you for it,” she says pointedly, “That’s what friends are for, right?”

You flush, covering your face with your hands in embarrassment. You knew that Yena would never judge you for something as trivial and as unimportant as your sexual endeavours, but this was still a road you’ve yet to properly navigate yourself.

“I … came,” you wince at your breathy voice, “It felt good. And … he’s experienced, you know? I just don’t want to …”

Yena looks at you inquisitively.

“You don’t want to …?”

You sigh deeply, considering your next words with a soft murmur, “I don’t want to not live up to his expectations, you know?”

She frowns at you, “Jungkook’s made some mistakes but you said it yourself. He’s in love with you,” she says softly, “There’s no pressure to have sex with him just because it’s out in the open now, you know?”

You nibble on your lips.

“It’s … more than just that,” you tell her, “I told him I needed time, and really, I do. But it isn’t because I’m confused. I mean, kind of—but really it’s because I don’t want to walk into something and disappoint him … I’m just … scared.”

Yena holds your hand in hers while offering you a gentle smile.

“It’s valid that you’re scared. But there really isn’t anything that can come out of being scared right now. The two of you worked through an obstacle, and here you are creating another one that doesn’t quite exist yet. Trust me, when the time feels right, it does. And you’ll feel ready. Will you still be scared? Maybe. But it’ll feel like it’s meant to fit within your timeline.”

You nibble on your lips, “Is it bad that I’m overthinking this?” You wince.

Yena shrugs her shoulders, “Like everything else in your life?” She teases.

You whine, shoving at her shoulder playfully where all Yena does is snicker in response. You weren’t quite sure what you were expecting out of the conversation, even if it was vaguely about the ins and outs of sexual exploration. And she was right, you’ll always be afraid of something, whether it’ll benefit you or harm you because that’s what change does. It shifts your comfort zone into a space that may be unfamiliar but necessary.

You lean into Yena’s shoulder, and a wave of overwhelming emotion washes upon you when you look at her. You really didn’t know how you survived a time without Yena in your life. And as if she’s noticed your glassy gaze, she raises an eyebrow at you.

“What are you looking at?”

You grin at her, all teeth and gums on display as you hug onto her arm like a koala.

“I’m just really happy you’re in my life.” You sigh wistfully.

She pauses for one whole second before she snorts.

“Wow, talk about sex once and suddenly you’re in love with me?” She wiggles her eyebrows at you, “Tell Jeon and Kim that you’re mine now.”

You giggle, rolling your eyes.

“They’re not even competing in the same league as you are,” you assure her.

She smiles.

“So … does that mean I don’t need to get you a birthday gift?”

That earns a thwack on her shoulder.

[twothumbsandnostakeincanon]

Stiles was just kind of weird.

Weird name, weird sense of humor, weird habits.

So it wasn’t really a surprise to anyone that his weirdness extended to the point of him being a Guide. Hell, it wasn’t even really a surprise when he was shipped off to the special school for Guides and Sentinels that were too potent to be in public before they were trained.

But it was a little bit of a surprise when his instructors discovered that he was not, in fact talking to himself between classes as they thought.

He was talking to his soul animal.

__________

“He’s been here one month!” Ms. Clara, the bonding counselor, hissed at Finstock. “There are instructors who have been here for years without seeing theirs, much less engaging in verbal communication!”

“Stilinski can barely shut up in class, why would his soul animal be any different,” Finstock answered carelessly as he scrawled six question marks at the top of an econ paper and flung it to the side. “I don’t know what you’re complaining about. He’s starting to make progress at shielding, and the sooner he gets that shit the sooner we can kick him out. Then maybe I’ll finally be able to get a cup of coffee in the morning before he’s emptied the entire goddamn carafe.”

“I’m not complaining,” she said, offended. “It’s just… unsettling. Soul animals are sacred. Most of us only see them a handful of times, but he talks to his as if- as if it were a particularly rude cat!”

“Ferret,” Finstock corrected absentmindedly, writing NO on the next paper and underlining it three times.

“Excuse me?”

“It’s a ferret. And apparently it bites him when he’s not giving it enough attention, so rude is pretty accurate.”

Ms. Clara’s mouth was hanging open, and continued to do so even after Derek Hale stormed into Finstock’s office.

“I need to talk to you about Stiles’ soul animal,” he said, eyebrows drawn together in a frustrated line.

“See?!” Ms. Clara said, gesturing sharply at him. “I’m not the only one who finds it unsettling!”

“What?” Derek said. “No, I don’t- it keeps interrupting my lectures on Animal Farm.”

Finstock finally looked up from his grading.

“How in the hell is a soul animal interrupting your lectures? Stilinski’s the only one who can see or hear it!”

“Stiles says it won’t stop biting him unless he tells everyone what it’s saying,” Derek said, shifting a his weight and crossing his arms. “I guess he could be lying. Stiles is already pretty proficient with projection- Look, the point is I wasted fifteen minutes arguing that ferrets couldn’t have prevented the rise of Stalinism-”

“Tiny baby Jesus,” Finstock pleaded, rubbing his face. “I know you’re still relatively new here Hale, but just because a student, or a student’s soul animal, brings up a topic doesn’t mean you have to engage. I would, because Animal Farm sucks and talking about anything else would be more interesting, but I know how anal you are about lesson plans-”

“-it’s state curriculum-”

“So Hale, if the sacred ferret interrupts you again then tell it to shut up, and Ms. Clara, engage in some selective attention if it really bothers you that much. Now get out of my office so I can drink bourbon while I grade, the way God intended.”

Ms. Clara turned on her heel and stormed out, but Derek hesitated.

“... Can I really do that? I mean… it’s not really a normal situation, and I absolutely have to get through this unit by the end of the week, but… it’s his soul animal.”

Finstock sighed.

“Nothing about Stilinski is normal. Just work something out.”

__________

“You should find a Sentinel and bone them so we can get out of here.”

“Shut up Quincy, I’m trying to read about communist ham.”

“You could be reading about communist ham on your own bed, with your blankets and your TV-”

“-and feeling every emotion in a ten block radius until I fall into a swoon and end up right back here,” Stiles finished dryly.

Quincy scoffed.

“You have better control than that.”

“Not yet,” Stiles said grimly. “I will, but not yet. And I’m not about to go out and bond with the first Sentinel I see just so I can go home. Besides, even with the lightest of bonding, which, by the way, does not necessarily include fucking, but even with that, whoever I bonded to wouldn’t want to let me out of their sight for at least a week. We’d still be stuck, even with the boost in my shields.”

“Of course you don’t have to fuck them, but why wouldn’t you?” Quincy asked, baffled. He looked over from where he was basking in a patch of sunlight on the floor.

Stiles rolled his eyes.

“Is every soul animal as horny as you?”

“I’m an extension of you, so if you have a problem with it-”

“Yeah, yeah,” Stiles cut him off, cheeks turning a little pink. He knew exactly why Quincy was acting the way he was; Stiles hadn’t been able to smuggle any sex toys into his luggage before he was whisked off to Guide Camp. Or The Institute for Sentinels and Guides of Sensitivity. Whatever. The point was that he was lacking, and apparently it resonated all the way down to his soul. He cleared his throat. “Besides, it’s your fault that Hale is watching me so closely. I probably could have gotten away with the CliffsNotes if you hadn’t insisted on arguing about your ferret superiority.”

“If you think for one second that ferrets would have put up with any of Napoleon’s-”

“That is so not the point. You’re lucky he offered to listen to your bullshit during his office hours instead of just straight up kicking us out of class.”

Quincy scoffed.

“I’m lucky?”

“Yes,” Stiles said firmly. “Because you’re a reflection of my soul, and I could very easily see my soul going hairless if I have to repeat American Literature next year.”

Quincy gasped.

“You wouldn’t. You couldn’t.”

“Do you really want to find out?”

Quincy’s furry little face somehow managed to convey utter betrayal before curling back up with a huff in his warm patch.

“Whatever,” he grumbled. “I’ll show you, and Hale… class discussion is for chumps… office debates are the real battleground…”

Stiles finally returned to Napoleon and his windmill, ignoring the touch of homesickness and loneliness that resonated between the two of them. Stiles just had to get through this. He had to get through being the weird one here so he could go home and be the weird one there.

At least when he was the weird one at home he had his Dad and Scott.

Here he had no one.

__________

Stiles knocked on Hale’s office door, and then walked in without waiting for an answer.

Derek looked up from his desk, exasperated.

“You’re supposed to wait for me to tell you to come in, Stiles. What if I’d been helping another student?”

Stiles waved a hand dismissively.

“Then I would have felt two people in room instead of your lonesome brooding self.”

Derek grimaced.

“You’re not supposed to be able to feel in here at all, Stiles. That’s what the shields in the Institute are for, to prevent-”

“-Prevent overwhelming emotions from my sensitive little Guide brain, blah blah blah.” He dropped down into a chair, immediately sticking out a hand and then bringing it to his lap, as if he were picking up something Derek couldn’t see. Disconcerted to once again see Stiles treating impossible things as if they were no big deal, Derek tried to push back to his initial concern.

“Yes, exactly. If you’re still picking up things like that then we may need to, I don’t know, move you to a more secluded area, or double up shields or something. We’re responsible for your wellbeing, Stiles, and we take that seriously.”

“Okay, first of all dude,” Stiles said with an eye roll, “you’re like four years older than me. Stop acting like you’re wiser and so much more experienced.” He had one hand up by his shoulder now, clearly supporting the weight of something. “Second of all, we both know that the Institute barely has any idea what to do with me. The only reason I’m here instead of locked up in an isolation room somewhere is because Finstock is just crazy enough to say ‘what the hell’ instead of ‘hell no.’ I make everyone uncomfortable, I pick up on some training way too quickly, and other training doesn’t work on me at all; sensing how many people are in a room is the least of my problems.” He paused, and tilted his head toward the shoulder with his hand. “Quincy says stop stalling and get ready to admit that ferrets would make the best political leaders.”

“Quincy. Your soul animal… is named Quincy?” Derek asked, dazed. Stiles shrugged.

“I told him it was a girls name.”

“Don’t be a small minded gender binarist,” Quincy said, nipping Stiles’ ear sharp enough that Stiles dropped him to rub it, scowling. Quincy just sat up on his lap instead, clearly ready to do battle.

“It’s a… him?” Derek asked, eyes darting around Stiles occasionally, pointlessly trying to see what Stiles could.

Stiles smiled bemusedly.

“Well, he’s a reflection of my soul, and I’m a ‘him.’”

“Right,” Derek said, a little distantly. He’d only ever caught a glimpse of his own. A blackbird of some kind. He’d always referred to the animal as ‘it’, but now he wondered if that was offensive. He sternly shook himself back into the moment, reasserting his attention. “Just because your situation is… unique, doesn’t mean that your learning environment shouldn’t be as good as everyone else’s.”

“Dude, just don’t worry about it, okay? I’m getting better at consistent shielding all the time, but short of my perfect sentinel match magically walking through that door and bonding with me immediately, there’s nothing to do about right now anyway.”

Suddenly a knock rapped at the door. They both turned to look at it in surprise as it opened. Stiles’ mouth fell open as the most gorgeous man he’d ever seen stepped in.

Blue eyes, broad shoulders, and a smirk that said a million things Stiles immediately wanted to have whispered in his ear. He was magnetic.

He was a Sentinel.

“Hello nephew. I apologize for interrupting, but your mother insisted I get this to you before it cooled.” He placed a tupperware container on the corner of the desk, clearly ready to leave as quickly as he came, but stopped abruptly when he spotted Stiles sitting.

They stared at each other for a beat, and Stiles felt an undeniable pull. An urge to get up and touch, even to wrap himself around the other man and stay there for days.  His knees twitched, as if they were going to get up and move whether or not they had permission.

“Holy shit,” Quincy whispered.

Peter’s eyes shot down to Stiles’ lap and widened.

“Holy shit,” Quincy repeated. “Look at that huge ass wolf!!”

Stiles tore his eyes away from Peter to look behind him and sure enough, there in the doorway stood an enormous grey wolf. Peter’s brow furrowed, looking behind himself in the same direction and stiffened in surprise. The wolf just ambled in, nudging Peter’s hand with his nose before continuing over to sit in front of Stiles. Quincy wasted no time in scurrying off Stiles’ lap to climb on top of him, causing Peter and Stiles to both shiver as they touched.

It took one more beat for Peter to recover, and then his eyes snapped back to Stiles, sharply taking in everything about him. A clever grin slowly took over his face. He extended his hand.

“You must be Stiles.”

[hamadynes]

Oblivious

(Or 7 Things the Phantom Thieves Learn to Appreciate About Ryuji and 1 Thing They Don’t)

AO3 Link

1. Honesty. Because in Akechi's world of polite pleasantries, deception, and betrayal, Ryuji's blunt form of honesty is refreshing in the moronic way it exposes his proverbial jugular.

(Hey guys, guess who’s posting a fic for the first time in years, based mostly on SPITE and my desperate desire to give Ryuji the content he deserves?)

“I don’t like this, and I definitely don’t like you,” is the first thing Ryuji says to him as Akechi makes his way around the last turn up the LeBlanc staircase and enters the attic space Akira calls home.

The blond is slouched in a chair at the table near the beat up old couch and is glaring at him openly. Akira shoots him an apologetic look from his own place beside his friend, elbowing the boy softly when Ryuji opens his mouth to continue. Ryuji practically pouts at the silent reprimand but crosses his arms and says nothing else.

“Ignore him. It’s easier that way,” Morgana says, leaping from the floor to Akira’s lap to the table top in one fluid movement, tail lashing out behind him and blue eyes smug.

Ryuji redirects his glare at the feline and sticks out his tongue but otherwise makes no move to retaliate.

In truth, Akechi finds Ryuji’s petulance ridiculous in its childishness, but instead of rolling his eyes as he wants to, he smiles, working just enough ruefulness into his eyes to be believable. “No, no,” he sighs, even and polite. “I, too, regret that I couldn’t have sought out your help under more… pleasant circumstances.”

Akira nods in understanding, but Ryuji scoffs. Loudly. “Yeah, sure, you little—”

“Ryuji.” Akira’s voice somehow holds both warmth and warning and the blond cuts off immediately, letting the rest of his statement taper into an irritated sigh through clenched teeth.

The two share a long look, but Ryuji eventually turns away and reaches back to scrub agitatedly at the back of his neck. “Yeah, fine, whatever,” he says to no one in particular, then without looking, “Sorry,” at Akechi, whose smile tightens imperceptibly.

The flush that sweeps from neck to his ears, the hard set of his jaw, the deep furrow in his brows, the defensive cross of his arms; even without his previous statements, Ryuji couldn’t be less obvious if he had disgust scrawled across his forehead in bold red letters. Akechi wants to laugh. In this world of deception, manipulation, and betrayal, such an inability to conceal your own feelings is, quite frankly, a death sentence. Akechi has seen it, experienced it, chosen to become its executioner to avoid becoming its victim and wonders, distantly, how this volatile boy managed to go unscathed in such a world.

Across the table, Ryuji fidgets, rubs a firm hand up and down the length of his right thigh in what is most likely a nervous habit, and Akechi remembers, ah yes, that’s right, he hasn’t.

Still, the foolish fire that flares in the former athlete’s eyes is something Akechi can respect. Anger and hatred are powerful motivators that can topple empires, if channeled correctly. Akechi looks forward to seeing the ways the boy (and that’s what he is—a boy, a child) will burn for his convictions.

The soft chime of the bell over LeBlanc’s door rings out clearly even from the floor below them. The low chatter that follows brings Akechi from his thoughts as the rest of the group files into the room.

“Sorry we’re late,” Makoto apologizes, “but someone had to pick up snacks.”

“I had to rush here straight from a shoot!” Ann throws two grocery bags onto the table then roots through one to pull out a bag of chips and a jelly drink. “Besides,” she continues with a wink, “I brought enough to share.”

Ryuji visibly perks up at that and reaches across the table for one of the bags, all former moodiness vanishing in place of a bright grin. “My hero,” he says reverently, snagging a can of soda and popping it open with a snap.

“Something we can agree on,” Morgana adds, purring loudly when Ann slides him a grocery store tuna platter.

Ann rolls her eyes, but her smile is soft. “You’re just easy to please. Plus, I couldn’t have gotten all this if Haru didn’t offer to pay.”

At the mention of her name, Haru shrugs politely, “It’s almost dinner time, and I thought everyone could use a bit of pick me up.”

Futaba whoops through a mouthful of chips and wipes an imaginary tear from her cheek, “Haru, you are too good for this impure world.” Then she frowns at Yusuke as he stares quizzically at the two different choices of gummy candies on the table before him. “Just pick one!”

Yusuke’s brows furrow as he learns further down to inspect each bag. “This one has a higher calorie count and would be more energy efficient,” he mumbles thoughtfully. “But this one is a much more pleasing shade of red.”

Futaba buries her face in her hands, “Inari, please.”

Despite her earlier frustration, Makoto laughs as she slips onto the couch before turning her attention to Akechi and smiling, exasperated but fond. “I hope you know what you’ve just gotten yourself into.”

Akechi’s eyes wander the room, landing on Akira who is regarding his friends with such affection in his eyes and stifling a laugh into his hand at something Ryuji is saying. When the blond boy notices his stare, his eyes narrow in suspicion, but Akechi is unperturbed. The unguarded expressions that flit across his face make him all the easier to read, all the easier to toy with. Idiotic as it may be, his blunt honesty is refreshing in its own way.

Akechi returns Makoto’s smile with one of his own.

This is going to be disgustingly easy, isn’t it?

~

It happens a few days later, while on what the team had called a Mementos Run.

They’ve been here for hours now, meandering aimlessly through an endless maze of floors for no apparent reason and Akechi is tired. There are at least three separate layers of grime and sweat covering his skin, the temperature of each floor is muggier and more oppressive than the last, Morgana’s bus form is cramped with barely enough room for them even without Akechi, and to make matters worse, the morons won’t stop talking.

“I watch TV to glean new information, but the commercials tend to distract me…”

How can one let their attention be so fickle, especially with everything at stake?!

“Whenever I try to study, I end up playing games instead.”

No wonder you can’t get a good grade to save your life.

“It’s so difficult to balance school life with thief life.”

If only such petty things were the only worries for—

“Joker, shadow up ahead!”

Akechi would rather kiss Shido’s ass than fight another battle, but he isn’t given the choice.

They ram into the dark mass before them and the shadow dissolves into another four harmless enemies— it is the monotony more than anything that is driving Akechi up the walls.

“Skull, Mona, Crow, with me!” Joker calls and if Akechi’s hits land harder than usual this battle, none of the others make any comment on it.

“Skull, you hit me!” Mona cries after the shadows have dissipated, rubbing agitatedly at the apparently effected portion of his midriff and glaring daggers at the teammate in question.

“I was confused! It’s not like I could help it!”

“Leave it to you to get confused from such weak enemies.”

“Yes, well, if someone had actually been on top of their Amrita spells, we wouldn’t have this problem in the first place, would we?!”

Akechi doesn’t realize he’s spoken aloud until silence descends upon them, broken only by Mona’s indignant spluttering. It’s a stupid mistake and Akechi knows it. He’s about to apologize profusely to get back in everyone’s good graces but then Skull let’s out a surprised snort.

Suddenly the blond Phantom Thief is doubled over laughing, only making Mona fluster more. “Oh man Mona, you’re gonna need an extinguish orb to take care of that burn!” he snickers. Then Skull is raising a hand, palm directed at Akechi, who stares at the proffered appendage in confusion.

Skull finally raises his head to quirk a brow at Akechi, smile wide and vestiges of mirthful tears still shining in the corner of his eyes. “C’mon man, don’t leave me hanging.”

Oh. Oh, this is one of those bonding things, isn’t it? This is a good thing. This will work in his favor.

Akechi raises his own hand and high fives the other boy. The clap that rings into the now empty Mementos corridor as well as the slight sting it leaves behind is oddly satisfying. Akechi blames the fatigue.

Skull straightens up then and positively beams, slapping a hand on Akechi’s back right between the shoulder blades.

The entire exchange leaves Akechi feeling… unexpectedly disconcerted, uncomfortable and out of his own depth as his exhausted mind struggles to make sense of it all.

He had snapped at Mona, let his anger leak through his carefully crafted façade of friendly smiles and polite pleasantness, and now Skull is smiling at him, bright and entirely genuine, for the first time since they met.

How… odd.

“Okay, okay,” Joker interrupts, “I think everyone is getting a little tense, so we should probably head back for today.”

A round of agreement follows and they make for the closest safe room. Akechi gets enough of a handle on himself to join in on the usual incessant chatter but finds it harder than usual to concentrate on endearing himself.

For the first time, Akechi wonders what it would be like to let himself be a part of… whatever these people are.

~

In the end, Akechi can admit there is a beauty to the cruel irony of fate.

“Dude, you’re more than special…” Ryuji tells him, standing tall, backed by the rest of the Phantom Thieves. Akechi refuses to look up at him, at any of them, kneeling as he is on the battered ground, defeated, helpless, and just— so tired.

A bitter chuckle bubbles low in his throat. Ryuji’s words are a moronic attempt to manipulate him at his most vulnerable, a shallow piece of comfort meant to lure him into helping them by feeding on his desperation to be someone, to mean something, when they all know that the truth is, he is nothing.

Or rather, it should be.

In his world of deception, manipulation, and betrayal, an inability to conceal your own feelings is, quite frankly, a death sentence.

But this boy standing before him is volatile and blunt, hopelessly inept at masking his emotion. He is driven by anger and rebellion, and whether he’s shouting in rage or in joy, he never says anything he doesn’t mean, consequences be damned. Akechi wants to scream. The world should have ripped him to shreds, torn him apart for being so damn honest and yet there he stands, bruised and exhausted but not beaten.

Akechi lets out a shaky gasp of a laugh instead, broken and resigned.

Goro Akechi is nothing special and there are not words that can convince him otherwise.

However, he can accept, maybe, that there are people in the world that genuinely believe he is.

And well, he supposes that’s something, isn’t it?

[captainmeowvelwrites]

You Times Two (Ch.9)

Pairing: Marinette/Ladybug | Adrien/Chat Noir Words: 4345 Summary: Ladybug knew this was necessary. She was the Guardian. He had the Cat Miraculous. But when his suit evaporated in a glow of pale green, she sure hadn’t expected him to have something far more precious: her heart. Cross-posted: AO3 and FFN

Chapters: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | ...

Recap: Previously, on You Times Two… Maribug was a bit of a depresso espresso, what with the impending Adrigami date and fifth wheeling her friends. That is, until our favourite dude cheered her up with pizza, turtle talk and some good ol’ Mario Kart. Of course, her kitty-cat’s banana puns might’ve helped a smidge. But will dustings of Adrigami continue to throw her off? And when Chilluka rocks up, will Jealadrien be far behind?

---

Chapter Nine

An hour after Adrien's slippery ascent to victory, they turned to Ultimate Mecha Strike III for some more hearty butt-whooping.

With one final zap of an energy beam, the words "KAGAMI WINS" flashed across the screen, and her crimson mecha-tank launched a clawed fist in the air.

"Aw maaan!" Nino dumped his controller on the coffee table. "How could I lose to a total noob?" He froze. "Uh – No offence! You did good, dudette – I mean Kagami!"

Alya clutched her stomach, her cheeks red from laughing. "Nice one, Kagami! You – You really got him good with that – ah – that triple kick hyperstorm combo!"

"Yeah, Kagami!" Adrien nudged her shoulder with his own. "Only your third game and already you're winning!"

Marinette gave a thumbs up. "You're a natural."

Kagami threaded a strand of hair behind her ear, the slightest of blushes grazing her cheeks. "Thank you, everyone. I couldn't have won without Marinette's expert teaching." She bowed her head, her mouth curving into a smile that simply looked like it belonged there.

That small fact made Marinette's own smile double in size.

"But, dudes, I'm sick of UMS."

Alya tapped down the brim of Nino's precious cap. "You're just sick of losing, babe."

Pouting, he straightened his hat. "That's not the point, Al." He bounced to his feet, eyes on Adrien. "Why don't we fire up Just Dance instead? Let's show 'em our swagger!"

Adrien's face practically glowed as he leapt from the sofa, Kagami's hands falling from his arm to her lap. "You're on, Nino!"

"Ha!" Nino flashed his signature finger guns. "On like Donkey Kong!"

With an overly dramatic scoff, Adrien placed a hand to his chest in a decidedly Chat Noir fashion. "Excuse me? Only I have the rights to that line… especially after my ape overthrew our princess." He sent Marinette an over the shoulder wink and naturally, a flush flamed across her face.

While Nino set up Just Dance, Adrien shrugged out of his blazer in one fluid movement and flicked it over the sofa with a ridiculous amount of flair. He rolled his neck, laced his fingers and stretched his arms out before him. Pair that with the fact his polished shoes, snug jeans, and long-sleeved dress shirt were all black and wow, he was but a tail away from his alter ego. The only thing missing was a poorly timed pun. The flush across her face deepened.

Adrien strutted up to the TV. Umber drapes framed the wide balcony doors to his left, swaying with the wind that weaved through the living room to fan his golden hair. With his eyes on the screen, he raised a thoughtful hand to his chin. His fingers were soaked in sunlight, its rays catching his ring at just the right angle to inspire a shine of silver. Buzzfeed had once dubbed this particular pose The Pondering Prince. It was easy to see why on a rainy day. And even easier when sunbeams spilled across his hair like a literal crown of sunshine.

Marinette wasn't staring.

Nope, not at all.

The choruses of classic pop songs cut through the air as Nino cycled through choreographies. She knew the moment a song stood out to Adrien, by the way The Pondering Prince transformed into The Keen Cutie.

An annoyingly catchy melody sprung through the speakers:

'Take me by the tongue and I'll know you. Uh! Kiss me 'til you're drunk and I'll show you—'

The boys exchanged an eager high five, while Marinette bit back a snort. Chat Noir choosing Moves Like Jagger?

"Only you would, Adrien. Silly ca—" Her mouth snapped shut, but his merry eyes were already on her. She went ramrod straight in her seat. "Ca – Can't be used to describe you row—I mean now – no, right now." She shook her head madly. "Or – uh – any time, really. Because you're so great. At moving. With your feet!"

Adrien stared at her. She could almost see the cogwheels turning in his eyes. Hopefully those cogwheels had nothing to do with her slip up and everything to do with interpreting her word vomit. Finally, he graced her with one of his classic, heart-warming smiles. "Thank you, Marinette!"

She threw two thumbs up. "Well done! I mean, welcome!"

To her right, she could just feel concerned eyes on her.

And to her left, Alya facepalmed.

Adrien's soft smile lingered on Marinette for a moment longer, before a "Ready, bro?" brought his attention back to the TV. She sucked in a breath.

That smile. That classic Adrien smile. It was a gentle, shy sort of smile. One that made you feel special. Chat Noir's smile, on the other hand, was silly, cheeky, at times flirty—and had prompted her to groan on several occasions. Totally different, right?

But they were the same person! As classmates, she could probably count the amount of coherent conversations she'd had with him on her hands. But as partners, they were closer than ever. She'd thought of him as one of her dearest friends long before learning his civilian identity. Now, an unpleasant question reared its awful head. Were his smiles wildly different? Or just her reactions to them?

Alya's voice pulled her from her thoughts. "Daaang!" she called, flaunting a smirk. "You boys are pulling out all the stops today. Where've you been hiding those dance moves, Adrien?"

Marinette looked up at the boy in question and saw her friend, Adrien, dancing with the unbridled joy of her partner, Chat Noir.

And Alya's words must've emboldened him, for he broke away from the choreography with a suave spin on the spot. "Come on, Al. You don't actually think I spent home-school doing schoolwork, do you?" As Maroon 5 whistled on, he executed each move with a flawless flourish. To think, this was the same guy who high-fived street signs with his face.

Alya snickered. "Not bad, Blondie. Not bad at all!"

With an achingly familiar bow, he enacted the tipping of a fake top hat. A silent thank you. One with the pizzazz befitting of her partner.

His theatrics brought out a giggle. She'd seen her silly kitty cut a rug, as he liked to call it, more times than she cared to count. On quiet patrols. In the heat of battle. A few months ago, an amateur video of his dancing had even trended online (he'd reminded her for over a week). His timing was never impeccable, but as they'd grown closer, stifling a smile at his zest for interpretive movement had become increasingly tricky.

"Yes!" Nino wheezed, flinging his arm in time with the dancing avatar on the screen. "I'm catching up!" He was so out of breath. "Keep distracting him!"

"Oh Adrien," her bestie proclaimed, as he moonwalked like a professional zombie from Thriller. "Our dazzling King of Swag!" He held a hand to his ear, spurring her on. "Your flow knows no bounds. I must bow before such unrivalled finesse." True to her word, she bowed in her seat.

And boy, did he lap up the praise! He performed a ridiculously smooth body roll, and concluded it with a click of his fingers. His smile was nearly blinding.

That was all the motivation Marinette needed to pop in her own compliment. "In the not so distant future, bards shall sing of our swagtabulous leader's epic freestyling, and their song shall aptly be named Moves Like Swagdrien!"

Just when she'd thought he couldn't shine any brighter, a laugh burst from his lips. It was one she seldom heard without his mask and the fact she'd brought it out only swelled her sprinting heartbeat.

His next move involved a little hip swaying and a lot of arm swinging. Marinette had only played Fortnite a handful of times, but she had a sneaking suspicion she'd once witnessed it there.

"Keep going, ladies!" Nino implored. "I'm finally winning!"

"Yaaas!" Alya called. "Swagdrien The Suave!"

"Woo!" Marinette launched her fists in the air. "Swagdrien The Debonair!"

"Adrien," Kagami cut in, her puzzled tone stark against the laughter of her friends. "You aren't following the choreography?"

"Rules," he panted, "are made to be broken." As if to emphasise his point, he pulled a double arm wave.

Her brows scrunched. "But you're losing?"

Adrien, now mid-robot, incorporated a shrug into his dance. "This way's more fun"—he threw her a smile—"don't you think?"

His dancing didn't die down in the slightest, nor did the laughter that ensued in its wake.

---

Marinette, like most people, enjoyed bobbing along to Despacito at the best of times.

But this wasn't the best of times.

No, it was the worst. The absolute worst.

More good-natured trash-talking had led to Nino challenging Adrien to a dance-off. But not just any dance-off. No, a double couple dance off (read: everyone but her).

Furthermore, the universe was really testing her limits today—because Despacito's choreography was jam-packed with touching between partners. Sure, Kagami was rather stiff. She'd never played Just Dance before, but Adrien's skills more than made up for that. His hands nestled on her hips, their smiles broad and their bodies close as they moved to the beat.

She tried to smile. She tried to be happy for them. This was what they both wanted. Inserting herself between them – like matter between two magnets – would only be selfish. Even so, she couldn't deny the way her gut writhed at the sight of the happy almost-couple. And she couldn't help but notice Kagami's growing blush.

A distraction.

She needed a distraction.

As if some higher being had honed in on her thoughts, three knocks echoed throughout the apartment. Knuckles on wood had never sounded so wonderful!

Marinette jumped from the sofa. "I'll get it!"

Finally, she'd no longer be the fifth wheel to a quad bike. No, with Luka here, she'd instead be a part of some strange, six-wheeled hybrid. Much more appealing. She raced to the front door and swung it open.

Teal eyes smiled down at her, and their owner gave a little wave, black nail polish shining in the light of the stairwell.

"Luka!" She sprung a hug upon him and without hesitation, he returned it. The exchange only lasted two seconds – three tops – but by gosh, the rich scent of sandalwood delighted her senses long after. "So, how was your shift?"

"Oh, it couldn't end fast enough."

Truer words had never been spoken.

Marinette took his free hand in hers and guided him to the living room. The two couples were still dancing up a storm, guitar chords and Spanish lyrics echoing through the room. "Hey, I see you brought your guitar." She beamed up at him. "You'll have to play us something later. I'd really love to hear my song again!"

From the corner of her eye, Adrien stumbled mid-step.

"I saw that, Blondie!" cackled Alya, her hand in Nino's as they grooved from side to side. "You burning out?"

"Never!" He broke away from the choreography and Kagami quirked a brow as he puffed his chest out into a body roll, even more fluid than his first.

Luka slipped a guitar case off of his shoulders and against the sofa. "Hey, everyone!" He was answered by an array of breathless greetings. "Oh, right." He chuckled. "They're just dancing."

Marinetted laughed—

Until she realised the wordplay wasn't intentional.

"Wow!" Luka chimed, settling on the sofa. "Nice moves, Adrien."

Green eyes remained on the screen. "Thanks."

Marinette swiped the pizza box from the table, four pieces saved within it. "As promised, Luka!" Handing over the box, she sat beside him. "If you're not a cold pizza kinda guy, I can always heat it up for you?"

With a slice of pizza in hand, his free arm reached behind her, resting across the back of the sofa. "It's okay, Marinette. I'm perfectly fine with cold pizza." His eyes were as gentle as his smile. "The thought's appreciated though. Thank you."

A flush crept up her face as he looked at her, but she didn't mind. Not at all.

---

'We are one tonight, and we're breathing in the same air—'

With an easy smile, Marinette tapped her toes in time to the lively tempo of Turn Up The Love. To no one's surprise, Alya and Nino were nailing every move thrown their way—and fast approaching new high scores.

"Wow," Luka spoke up beside her, and her eyes flitted toward him. "They're so in tune, don't you think?"

Marinette gave a merry nod, recalling a time she'd said similar words to a certain blond.

She leant against the coffee table, smiling at the sight of her dancing friends. "They're so in sync with each other."

"You're right," Adrien said, from the other end of a FaceTime call. "Someday I hope I'll find someone I can share everything with… like they do."

In the present, she pursed her lips. Had Adrien been thinking of Ladybug then? Her eyes drifted toward the boy in question, only to catch his eyes zipping away that very second.

"Too right, Luka!" Adrien leaped into their conversation—and winced when his voice shot up an octave. Clearing his throat, he directed a smile at the dancing duo. "When's the wedding, guys?"

Alya skipped around Nino, her arms swinging to the beat. "We don't know the date just yet."

"But don't worry," Nino puffed. "You'll definitely be my best dude!"

"They're only fourteen, Adrien." Kagami tilted her head, her dark hair shifting. "How young do you plan to get married?"

Beside her, Marinette felt him tense. "Oh – I – Ye-ah." His voice cracked. "Fourteen's way too young! The legal age is – uh – eighteen, right?"

"You plan to be married at eighteen?"

"Err – Well, I don't – I don't know?" He squeezed out a laugh. "I mean, maybe. For the right girl?"

"Does that mean you'd marry the wrong girl if you were older?"

"No, I just—"

"Your indecision is troubling, Adrien."

Those words seemed to resonate with him. He shrunk into the sofa like a silent apology.

Marinette's nails dug dents into her palms—but Kagami didn't deserve her ire. She wasn't exactly well-acquainted with social cues. Heck, she probably didn't even realise what she was doing.

Flexing her paling fingers, Marinette turned to Luka, a wordless plea to fix this. She didn't trust herself to.

And he didn't disappoint.

"Hey, Marinette?" Both fencers looked his way. "Has anyone else tried your macarons yet?"

Adrien clung to those words. "I saw the carton on the bench, but I didn't want to be the first one to crack into them!" With a sheepish chuckle, he dipped a hand behind his neck. "I figured we were saving them for later in the day?"

If he didn't get his passionfruit macaron today, Marinette would scream to high heaven. "No no, Adrien!" She waved her hands for emphasis. "Feel free to help yourself. No, actually—"

She launched to her feet.

He did the same.

"—I'll bring them over," they said in unison. Blinking at each other, they laughed at once. "Sorry," they said. "I – Uh. You go first! No, you—"

Marinette held up a hand. "I'll bring the napkins. You bring the macarons. Deal?"

"Deal!"

---

A minute later, Alya and Nino collapsed onto the sofa, their chests heaving after their dance. To his delight, Nino had come out on top, destroying his former high score along with Alya's. (Not at all suspiciously, Alya had matched him point-for-point until the last thirty seconds, when her dancing had deteriorated just enough to let him win.)

A cardboard carton, with a golden emblem adorning its lid, rattled in Marinette's palms. While Adrien shared napkins around, she plonked down beside Luka. "I hope all this dancing's worked up everyone's appetite!"

Alya accepted a napkin. "By the grin on Adrien's face, I'd say his answer is a resounding yes."

"Can't blame him, babe. Those moves were unreal."

"It must be the fencing."

"From what I saw, he was a one-man sonata."

"Or a unicorn."

"Girl, did you just call Adrien a unicorn?"

Marinette nodded, unabashed. She was trying to get over him, yes. That didn't mean he wasn't still one of a kind.

With all leftover napkins now on the coffee table, Adrien resumed his seat between Marinette and Kagami. "Full disclosure: I'd make a magnificent unicorn."

Laughter erupted.

And only as it died down did Marinette speak again. "In that case, I sure hope unicorns like macarons!" She flipped back the carton in her lap, revealing an assortment of brown and yellow treats. "We've got two flavours: Belgian chocolate and passionfruit. I would've made more, but I was a little short on time."

"I'll believe it," Alya teased.

She stuck out her tongue. "Just a heads up, everyone—"

From the corner of her eye, Kagami reached for Adrien's hand and threaded it with her own. His smile wavered. He went to pull back, but Kagami tightened her grip—without realising? Adrien's struggling stopped.

"Yike—"

Marinette glimpsed a stern look from Alya.

"I mean LIKE! Yeah. I was, like, extra clumsy this morning and – err – dropped the macarons on this side." She jabbed a finger toward the left of the carton. "So – Um. Sorry about that."

Hands reached from all sides, lightening the carton in her hands, and delighted hums soon floated through the living room.

"Girl, you've really outdone yourself this time!"

"Ditto, babe!"

"I agree." Kagami admired the yellow, half-eaten macaron between her fingers. Her other hand still gripped Adrien's. "This is really delicious."

Adrien's face inched near as he marvelled at the macarons. "You made these, Marinette?" She thought she felt herself nod. "They look delicious!" He took one from the tainted side. Passionfruit, of course. His first bite— "Wow." He gazed at the treat like it was the answer to world peace. "Marinette, this macaron. It's… It's perfect!"

She felt herself beam as he savoured a second bite. This beautiful moment was most definitely worth the many Sundays she'd spent baking a single macaron.

In or out of the suit. Chat Noir or Adrien. He was her friend. Maybe she'd never see those three kids or that hamster. Maybe she'd never have that dog or that beautiful house. At least, not with Adrien.

Because they were superheroes.

Because of apocalyptic cataclysms.

Because he said he loved Ladybug, but in the end, he chose Kagami.

But she could still make him happy.

Luka reached for a treat last. His side pressed into hers as he leaned closer and picked a chocolate macaron. Like this morning, he went for the street-sullied side. With his free arm splayed behind her, he settled back into the couch cushions and savoured the snack with his eyes shut. "This flavour's even better! You're so extraordinary, Marinette."

Cheeks aflame, Marinette brushed a stray strand of hair behind her ear.

Extraordinary.

Luka said she was extraordinary.

And it wasn't the first time. No, the first time he'd been under Hawk Moth's cruel influence. And she tried not to take a supervillain's words to heart.

But then he'd said it again, his hand warm on her arm and his eyes warmer still.

"You're the most extraordinary girl, Marinette. As clear as a musical note and as sincere as a melody. You're the music that's been playing inside my head since the first day we met."

Was it time to tune along to his song?

Marinette swallowed, searching for a reply to the wonderful words of her friends. Instead, she caught the green gaze of another boy watching her fondly.

A lump lodged in her throat.

From the day she'd met him, her heart had been his.

But he didn't want his classmate.

From the day she'd met Luka, she'd been the song inside his head.

He made sure she knew where they stood.

He supported her every decision.

He made things simple.

The logical choice was clear.

Yet her heart throbbed at the thought.

No matter what, someone was bound to get hurt. Her friend. Her partner. Herself.

For over a year, she'd saved Paris with quick-thinking and convoluted strategies. She was the girl with a plan, the one people came to when times were tough. Yet here she was, unable to think up a single way to save her and her loved ones from heartbreak.

Why was she so useless?

Why couldn't she just keep everyone happy?

How could she possibly choose between them?

"Earth to Marinette?" Alya interrupted her thoughts. "Guys! I think we broke her with compliments!"

"No! Sorry, I just—" Marinette placed a hand to her chest and drew in a breath. "Thank you, everyone." She meant that wholeheartedly, and turned to Alya with a smile. "Wanna get back to dancing?"

"You know it!"

---

'Starships were meant to fly! Hands up and touch the sky!'

Of course, Alya had picked an old favourite of theirs: Starships by Nicki Minaj. A bop that never failed to bump up her mood. She knew the choreography well, but was still surprised by her soaring score. Her every move displayed a grace she'd never thought possible without a little latex magic, and over and over, the word "PERFECT" flashed gold on the screen. It was like the game was a one-word dictionary, but she sure wasn't complaining.

"Oh my gosh, M!" Alya puffed. "You are killing it!"

"Call me Swagrinette!"

Adrien laughed from his place on the sofa. "I don't think Swagrinette has quite the same ring to it." She threw a smile over her shoulder—just as Kagami eased her head onto his.

Marinette misstepped, but caught herself before the floor could. "Oops!" She wheezed out a laugh. "Spoke too soon, Al." Her arms circled through the air in sync with the dancing avatar.

Alya snorted. "You're still owning it!"

"She's right," Kagami added. "Your dancing's impressive, Marinette."

She glanced back at Kagami, another smile at the ready. It died on her lips at the sight she beheld. Adrien's eyes were on his hand, laced with Kagami's, and the look he wore was a resigned one. Knitted brows. A slight weight to his lips. He was unhappy—

Pain sliced through her ankle.

In a tangle of limbs, she tumbled to the floor.

Voices cried out her name.

Steps pounded.

She didn't know when, but her hand had clung to her ankle, and her face twisted as it throbbed beneath her fingertips.

"Are you okay?!"

Her eyes flew up—and what they beheld was excruciatingly familiar.

Two hands were extended before her: black nail polish painted the one on her right and an unmistakable ring adorned the one on her left. Her right hand remained around her ankle. Her other lifted off the floor. It drifted left, right, then paused dead centre.

With a composing breath, Marinette chose neither. Instead, she reached for a nearby ottoman, small and round and pastel pink, and chose to help herself off the floor. "I'm fine, guys," she said, reaching her feet.

Everyone stared, eyes rife with worry, while Starships thumped on in the background. Such upbeat music now seemed woefully out of place.

Alya propped a hand on her hip. "You sure, Marinette?"

Nino stepped to Adrien's side. "Yeah, that was one heck of a fall."

"I agree." Kagami's eyes were on Marinette's ankle. "It looked pretty serious."

Marinette fixed up a smile. "Really, I'm A-OK. See?" She shifted her weight to her right—

Another zap of pain.

Two sets of hands sprang to her shoulders, steadying her.

Marinette waved both boys away. "No no. I've got this." She hobbled over to the sofa, stifling a wince, while steps tapped behind her. "It's not as bad as it looks"—she wasn't sure if that was a lie—"but just in case, I think I'd better be a spectator for the rest of the day."

Luka seated himself to her immediate right. "First, we should really take care of your ankle." He looked to a concerned Alya, who'd seated herself on the arm of the sofa. "Do you have any ice packs?"

Adrien claimed the free spot to Marinette's left. "Plus something to act as a barrier between the ice pack and her skin." An instruction, not a suggestion. "Painkillers too. And some anti-inflammatory cream."

"On it!" Nino rushed to the freezer.

"We gotcha!" Alya's red hair whipped behind her as she dashed to the bathroom.

Marinette clung to the cushion beneath her. This was a disaster. A complete and utter disaster. But she could at least avoid dragging her friends down with her. "No need to fuss, guys." She kept her tone light. "It's really not that bad. And I don't wanna ruin the afternoon by—"

A comforting weight on her hand gave her pause. "Never." Adrien's eyes creased as he smiled, giving her hand a light squeeze. "We're just looking out for you. You'd do the same for any of us."

Luka's hand found her shoulder. "You can tell us if you're not okay, Marinette."

"Yeah, I can call you a doctor," Adrien chipped in. "Or get my driver to take you. Just say the word, Marinette."

Kagami knelt on the floor ahead of her, a cushion in hand. "I believe elevating the injury above the heart reduces swelling. Here." She placed the cushion on the coffee table and with a substantial amount of care, eased Marinette's foot upon it.

A smile flooded her face. Her friends were truly the best.

---

With a metallic whir, daylight broke upon the silhouette of a lean man, and flocks of butterflies stirred, their pale wings catching the sun.

"Ahh… An aspiring artist with a penchant for Picasso. One whose dreams have been crushed by a hard-hearted critic." Each word floated from his tongue with a delighted lilt. "What perfect prey for my akuma."

He beckoned a nearby butterfly to his awaiting palm, carefully caging it between two gloved hands. Darkness materialized, clinging to the insect and soiling its snowy wings.

"Fly away, my pretty akuma, and evilize this wounded soul!"

[semi-imaginary-place]

fe3h blogging 6 because organizational skills are for losers

oh hey yuri get to join chess club[3:24 PM]balthus DID go to the officers academy twice I’ve been trying to reconcile the route differences... it should be that everything that happens in a different route is also possible in the route you are looking at which ever one that may be. Now all there is is figuring out why those differences exist. or alternately to come up with a probability model to explain those differences. Let’s take the major difference of CF vs VW, AM, and SS. In CF unlike the other routes, Rhea is not captured, she organizes the knights and joins with Faerghus. In CF unlike other routes Byleth chooses to side with Edelgard and Rhea attacks them in the Holy Tomb, this is the only difference. Rhea is incredibly entitled when it comes to Byleth and so takes Byleth’s choice as a deep betrayal as the one who was supposed to be on her side chose not to be. In the battle of Garreg Mach, Rhea then also doesn’t entrust the Church to Byleth. Now how does this connect to Rhea avoiding capture in the battle? It could be she was more on guard after the Holy Tomb in BE, it could be that overall Rhea is likely captured but there is a chance she isn’t. Either way because she isn’t captured, she is there to rally and organize the knight’s of Seiros. In the other routes why didn’t Seteth do it? idk man. The Knights and Faerhgus together are better able to fend off the Empire and with the added security, keep Cornelia, the Agarthans, and Edelgard from framing Dimitri with assassination. Thus in CF Faerghus is in a more unified and powerful position with Rhea running the show. Never quite got why Garreg Mach was abandoned by all the sides given how much the characters talk about its strategic location etc. etc. In SS Rhea degenerates and causes the church to become a rampaging hivemind. Rhea is assumedly also in the palace in AM, but we do meet her in VW. This leads to a few possibilities, either she also dragon degenerated in those routes but the credits roll before we get to see that or she doesn’t. Either way she hold the potential to do so. This is probably the strongest probability argument in the game as we are shown no reason why she does in SS but does not in VW. Rhea is like a ticking time bomb. Maybe they should have blood minstrated like half the church. And then the Agarthans, are they just chilling around underground in AM? yeah, probably. They’re probably back to biding their time just like they have the past 1000 years.

I would like to talk about the three categories by which I evaluate how much I like a character in a series. 1. Personal preference: how much does the character's personality appeal to me on a personal level. Would I want to be friends with this person in real life. Do I just really wish they were real and want them in my life? 2.  Character writing: how well written is the character. How good is their character arc? What is the grade of execution? 3. Role in the story: what do they bring to the series as a whole. If they are a villain, are they a good villain? Comic relief. The Bro character. No matter the archetype, how well is it done. What is their narrative and thematic significance.

Let's look at the 3 Lords of Fire Emblem: Three Houses. Please note that due to the branching story line and the ability of the player to choose the cast, I will not be focusing on a character's role in story as much as I usually do. Edelgard Personal preference: low. Her personality clashes with mine Character writing: high. Three Houses characters in general are well written. Edelgard feels like a person, her behavior is internally consistent, she's always herself. One of her main flaws explored in the game is how Edelgard will tunnel-vision and double down on a decision, a path even when it is no longer the best option. Role: high. In Crimson Flowers and to a lesser extent Silver Snow Edelgard acts as the central character, she drives the story. As the villain in 3/4 routes, Edelgard is incredibly interesting, acting as a counter point to the other Lords as well as to Byleth in Silver Snow.

Dimitri Personal preference: low. At first I didn't care, and then he was just annoying. He was solidly #2 on my to-punch-list in Azure Moon after Gilbert. Character writing: high. Dimitri has the easiest to notice character arc in the game as it is the main focus of Azure Moon. As such the most time is spent on his arc and it is very strong. The journey Dimitri goes on as he struggles with himself and his trauma is well written, its only weakness being that it hinges on the player (me) caring about him (which I do not). Role is the story: medium high. the overarching story of the rightful king reclaiming his throne nicely parallels the story of Dimitri reclaiming himself. Thus the external journey mirrors the internal one. Azure Moon most strongly brings the human element to Three Houses and this is both a strength and a weakness.

Claude Personal preference: very high. I wish I had a Claude in my life. His personality meshes well with mine and my life would be enhanced with the addition of his company. When I say Claude is my favorite, this is the category I am usually talking about. Character writing: high. Claude has the subtlest characterization and character arc of the Lords, this is further obscured due to mischaracterization by the English localization team and English voice actor. The characters in Three Houses in general are brilliant and Claude is no exception. He's complex and multifaceted as any real person is, and seeing him grow in to his own in Verdant Wind is a beautiful thing. Role in story: high. Claude's role in the Three Houses is also very interesting, his objectives especially in White Clouds turns the game into a mystery thriller which is breaking edge for a Fire Emblem Game. Claude's background is also a bit different from the others and so following along his story, you are able to gain perspective and see all of Fodlan for what it really is.

Jeralt personal preference: meh writing: good role: dad

wait. wait. so are the 4 apostles are called saints in the intro, but were they also children of the goddess?  so i can see indech and macuil dipping after the war of heroes and cethalenn went into a regenerative coma so that takes her and cihol out of the picture, but where were the 4 apostles during the war?  and why does balthus' pants have a specially colored patch for his crotch.  ... did balthus go to the academy twice?  dimitri really went “i’d be nice to just sink into the earth you know” huh. i just started cindered shadows so i can't really comment but... the whole "abyss is necessary for garreg mach" is such horse shit. like oooohhhhh we must have an oppressed underclass to maintain our standard of living.  why do the ashen wolves even exist. its not like there's a school down there and yet a bunch of people have uniforms.  its not like they took some of the officer's academy uniforms either. why waste resources making custom uniforms? oh hey yuri get to joisn chess club. balthus DID go to the officers academy twice. I wonder what happened to Constance. Also hello??? Intsys you have a kidnapping and torture as backstory problem, especially when its happening to female characters. Hapi get’s kidnapped, tortured and then imprisoned, no wonder the life has left her eyes. Also I don’t trust this Aelfric dude. He set up the ashen wolves “house”, but wouldn’t those resources be better spent on food and medicine. nepotism ho! your parent were good so you must be too

anyone else find Jeralt and Sitri's relationship a little weird. Hundreds of years old dude romances incredibly sheltered 19 year old with little life experience. and she and alfric idolized Jeralt when they were young. sitri was born in 1139 and died 1159 from childbirth.  I mean yeah Sitri's an adult and totally consenting and loving, and the relationship is pretty cute and sweet, but.... its kinda weird.... Like when you hear about a 30 year old dating a 60 year old, everyone's well into adulthood, they're consenting adults who can do whatever they want,  i have no objections,... but its still kinda weird. WHAT'S WORSE IS THAT THEY DEVS HAD LITERALLY NO REASON TO DO THIS they could have made her any age they wanted to. She could have been 35. but nooooo they didn't do that

the part that bothered me about maneula's writing. Is how the writers talk down on her for having emotions. You see this strongly in the hanneman+manuela paralogue. Where they make her do something impulsive which has negative consequences, which is fair. But then the game punishes her for being too emotional. "being too emotional" now where have i heard that critique before. This is especially in contrast to the game praising hanneman's intellectual rationality. how do i say this... whenever hanneman and manuela argue the game always takes hanneman's side and is overly harsh on manuela.  Oh hanneman is right that she should not have run off after a rumor about the death knight like that, but its the framing of the scene that bothers me.

the way people talk about the abyss reminds me of the goldfish bowl metaphor. the abyss provides sanctuary, but in it thye are also trapped. huh so edelgard doesn’t recognize dimitri. people sure do like aelfric, reminds me of a cult of personality, but it seems so genuine... A great rhea’s golems are back. they talk!! I was just joking about people’s souls being bound in there!!! aelfric is one of the cardinals!!!!! I've been trying to find these dude for months!!!!! you hear these lines going on and on about the cardinals. oh. he’s part of the seiros hivemind then. hey kids. if he’s a cardinal than the church probably already knows. this don’t tell the church stuff sounds like a trap. that letter is suspicious af. yuri clearly wants something, but what is he up to,,,

Yeah.. it really sounds like the 4 apostles were nabateans, but if that were so are constance, hapi, balthus, and yuri really descended from them? the 4 saints bloodlines in adrestia are from those gifted blood by the saints. yet i do believe the 4 apostles fled to different corners of fodlan, what remains in question is only if there in their new homes they gave blood (like rhea did to save jeralt), or actually did have kids.

i cant believe balthus got put on the bus via giant bird. ah so aelfric and yuri are cooperating with the agarthans. thats what they were up to. wow yuri really is fandom claude, i can still hear those idiots complaining that claude wasn’t up to anything and that he didn’t betray byleth. huh so yuri is struggling with split loyalty and the solution he came up with was to help aelfric but give byleth hints. 

constance calling the holy mausoleum a wretch hovel in on par with sylvain calling the dining hall filthy. huh so that was what yuri was planning. wasn’t expecting the double agent ploy.

so this does not take away from aelfric's decisions, but if rhea hadn't been a coward and just buried sitri instead of keeping her is storage where anyone could find her, this never would have happened. who know's maybe aelfric would have still made horrible decisions, but not this one horrible decision.

wait wait wait. rhea, what happened last time you used the chalice to try and resurrect sothis. what beast was created then? wait wait. nemesis dies and sothis’ heat and bones were retrieved in 91. the blood chalice ritual happened in 185. That’s enough time for rhea to have conducted her first experiment implanting the creststone into someone and having them live out their full life.

 prior to cindered shadows i thought claude had 2 given names much like many real world people of dual identity do (multiracial people, chinese americans, japanese americans, etc.), so claude is his name but he also has an almyran name. now though I am leaning towards the idea that claude is a name he took up upon entering fodlan given what he says to balthus at first and the presence of a claudia riegan in the past. from the feast of decadence: where is boramas? and i hope the bit about watching northern swordsmen ripped apart by wild animals at dinner was a play or something. why do books end up in the abyss anyways. why not burn them throughly. rhea certainly knows people have been living down there.  i wonder who built abyss. its older than garreg mach for sure.  real ironic how the blue lions idolize loog when he was an agarthan pawn not unlike edelgard.  rhea's choice contributed to the power imbalance between sreng and duscur compared to faerghus chevalier became village elder and gave everyone blood during wars. half got crests half turned into demonic beasts. that solves that. 1/4 down

i can’t believe aubin almost died in a ditch before yuri’s mom saved them. well that’s one more person with a really long life span

balthus: describing "bashbros" me: its called a life partner. "Balthus became son-in-law to the great commander, Nader" ... what. also why is the balthus yuri pairen ending the only one balthus ends up broke and on the street in. also where's my holst supports. scratch that. WHERE IS HOLST. oh yeah and you all were crying about byleth potentially outliving everyone, well yuri does too

ashen wolves supports that should have happened. Balthus: Manuela. Yuri: Mercedes. Hapi: Ignatz, Petra, Claude. Constance: Lorenz

Also let judith be a playable character. Claude and balthus already have like half a support with her.

why do feel like yuri and sylvain would be a disaster. and disaster in that they'd hurt each other's feelings

claude whenever balthus opens his mouth: shut up shut up shut up. shut up and go away. goddess. please. no. i enjoy seeing claude annoyed more than i probably should

me taking the fe3h developers by the shoulders and shaking them furiously: WHY DON'T CLAUDE AND HAPI GET A SUPPORT. THEY EVEN BOTH HAVE CELESTIAL MOTIFS!  claude would also empathize with hapi as an outsider of sorts, as well as both sharing a desire to explore the world.  i think the riegan crest and timotheus crest got mixed up in development. in tarot readings the moon is associated with darkness, an unclear mind, madness, creativity etc. it suits "dark dragon" far more than "star dragon". but that doesn't explain why claude gets the unique combat art Fallen Star me one again taking the fe3h developers by the shoulders and shaking them furiously: WHY DON'T YURI AND ASHE HAVE A SUPPORT!! THE APPARENTLY ALREADY KNOW EACH OTHER. THEY HAVE SIMILAR BACKGROUNDS. THEY'RE BOTH FROM FAERGHUS. THEIR BATTLE DIALOG SAYS MEANS THEY WANT TO BE FRIENDS

No bathus/manuela support either LET THEM MAKE POOR LIFE CHOICES TOGETHER. Balthus can have a little milf, as treat

...  yuri is very pretty in part 2

Edelgards biggest flaws are her desire for control and her stubborness or the way she will double down on a decision and refuse to budge. Claude's biggest flaws are his inability to trust, and showing his hand too late. A bit more on that last part. A large part of Claude's strategies involve downplaying his side and biding his time. This strategy is especially weak though to an aggressive opponent like Edelgard who can bulldoze him before he has time to play out his plan. Part of the problem is that Claude is very reactive but not very proactive (its one of the reasons I like pairing him with Edelgard and Petra). He won't just go for something the way Edelgard does, he's wait for the right opportunity. This difference you can also see in how the deal with the Church. Edelgard declares war on them because she thinks they are the root of Fodlan's social problems and need to be taken down. She makes a decision she believes in and readies herself for the consequences. Claude actually believes much of the same (The Church is the root of Fodlan's problems) but would much rather avoid those consequences (fall out with the Church). You see in Verdant Wind he will make use of the Church because the are useful. He's even willing to spout Church rhetoric and propaganda (Byleth as a Church symbol) if it suits his end goal of transferring power to an individual who will shape Fodlan's future to his liking (he does have an altruistic and humanitarian goal much like Edelgard). However in doing so he risks empowering the Church even more. In short Claude will put up a facade that he doesn't agree with on an ideals level and so is always in danger of that facade becoming real and failing his goals. yeah so claude character development has him learning to trust and being more proactive in his goals. so i like pairing him with characters that put him on a similar growth trajectory

wait how are the Fetters of Dromi (Aubin) and Vajra-Mushi (Chevalier) around simultaneously with Aubin and Chevalier. Aubin was last seen 20 years ago and the tales of elder giving blood don’t seem ancient, so were they recently killed?

ok if the vajra-mushi is a replica, what’s it a replica of? that implies an original. and its still able to turn people into demonic beasts. how????

unpopular opinion: I hate seteth. his face pisses me off and every time he opens his mouth I want to punch him. please die.

You know... i'd expected someone to have written a modern au of felix and sylvain being roommates with unresolved sexual tension.... but no its been 9 months and I haven't seen anything. Oh I've seen roommates where its like the new and uncomfortable experience of sharing space with someone you dont know and I've seen modern au where they are childhood friends. But i seriously have not seen the specific scenario where they are childhood friends AND roommates. Like... uuugh its just sylvain. But also uuggh its just sylvain?!? Maybe I'll just have to do it myself... but im no good at writing... 

What if glenn was 160cm but the kids never noticed (except sylvain) because they're so much younger

I want a spin off fighting game starring ferdinand and caspar. Honestly i just wanted to see ferdinand get into a fistfight with someone like in his support

On a fandom level I think the golden deer are the least popular for a number of reasons:

1. some of the characters only reveal their depth in supports and paralogues. Or in other words you must seek out these character to get to know them. Ex: Lorenz, Leonie, Ignatz. I mean without doing their supports you'd never know that Ignatz is the smoothest out of the Golden Deer the the most likely to get a date. If Sylvain is a poser, Ignatz is the real deal 2. Related to the above the writing sometimes relies too heavily on a character gimmick. Ex: Raphael, and Lysithea to a degree 3. Compared to other houses there are less established dynamics. Other characters (Linhardt and Caspar, BL childhood friend squad, etc.) can play off of each other and this can make them more emotionally accessible to a player. In the beginning especially the golden deer act more like co-workers than friends, they are the least cohesive as a house (which means their growth is that much more delicious). 4. the golden deer route in general is less popular and some characters don't appear in other routes so the sheer amount of exposure these characters get is less than other houses. a lot of people in the "fandom" have only played one or 2 routes and those usually include either azure moon or crimson flower/silver snow. people will also just delete or add things to characters.

OK Jp audio thoughts: tiny grandma sothis Alois is gravelier and yells a lot  I've been replaying the line where claude giggles in the jp audiio. How do i record audio ignatz is such a BABY in the japanese version. Like a small bunny Edelgard sounds more princessy Claude is more light hearted, less sassy more... boyish? like that one old school boy character trope that used to be a main character thing and is now more a side character thing eng dimitri more yell-y and feral.  jp dimitri is a lot more subdued and dead inside. but the delivery of the lines makes what he is saying all the more disturbing. dissonant serenity.

your path lies across my grave is such a raw line

Why did yuri get a different part 2 sprite.  he should age the same rate jeralt did. And in his paired ending with byleth? He apparently looks about the same after decades

Hilda and catherine would be EXCELLENT war masters if the devs weren't sexist

So almyra's big. We don't know how big. Fodlan is 2/3 of europe and almyra is bigger so i imagine there's a diverdity of biomes. I imagine the south coast is mediterranian. But that hinges on how subtropical adrestia is. Medditerranian climates are most common at 30-40 lattitude. The map of almyra we can see on the map is the same lattitude as faerhgus. This could be the greenest part of Almyra. I imagine almyra has both hot and cold deserts with a large plain covering the center. The rest would be scrubland/chaperral. All we know is that claude grew up somewhere with no big trees. I imagine that almyran government is more meriocratic than fodlan but that may vary region to region. I have an idea for both a centralized and decentralized almyra. Each regions leader is like the strongest most organized person around. A bit of nepotism may be involved. The exception would be the coast region which is more sedentary (some parts of almyra are semi nomadic) and may have a republic. Decentralized almyra would work kinda like the eu or us with seperate nations and a mediator for when almyra needs to act as a whole. That mediator aids negotions between regions and keeps things together. Mediator would be a council/appointed position. In a centralized almyra there still wouldn't be a monarachy. The king would choose a sucessor. So the king's kid would have a better chance than anyone but its no garuntee. I like the idea that like the 30 closeat relatives has a last one standing system as part of the selection system. This would allow for a dynastic style if ruling where there's a ruling clan but not direct line of descent 

Everyone keeps drawing older felix with long hair but I'm half convinced that 3 years post game he just lops,it off one day or gets a buzzcut

So a lot of people including me have long suspected Claude had an Almyran name and the validation right now just feels so great. Khalid!  Given his dialog in cindered shadows I think its more likely Khalid is the name his parents gave him and Claude is the name he took up upon coming to Fodlan

Things have never been easy for Claude, he says in his s support that he's going, to do it (the whole game/war) all over again. It's heavily implied that things to not end well for Claude outside of VW. i don't think the Almyrans would value a surrender to a fodlander tho. Claude in VW proves his competence as a military commander and leader by controlling all of fodlan. Its stated in some of his paired endings that the current king has some say in who the next king is as Claude had to earn his father's approval to ascend the throne. Don't forget that the general Almyran populace hates Claude. He has to prove himself by their standards before any respect is given and in SS/CF/AM he doesn't do that. Remember that the Fodland stereotype is of cowards and that Almyra values spectacles of strength/fighting prowess over tactical efficiency (invading fodlan's throat isn't for the purpose of gaining land/etc. its for the warriors to show off how strong they are), so they wouldn't value strategically weakening your nation (leicester) to stave off imperial invasion, to them that just looks like cowardice and incompetance. not only that he endangered and wasted Almyran soldiers in fighting a foreign war. Remember that no one really knows about Claude's plans outside of VW, he keeps his cards (too) close to his chest, and in non-VW routes the facade of weakness becomes a reality and all his schemes crumble. and he has little to show for his time in fodlan. Claude is less likely to experience character growth outside of VW, but I think there is potential for Claude's character growth outside of VW. One reason for this I'm just not a fan of Byleth's dating sim powers where everyone just falls head over heels for them. For every character and especially the lords, Byleth acts as a catalyst for the character's growth, but Claude (of the lords) is the least dependent on Byleth so I do believe he could have found some of the connections seen in VW if not to that extent. (also I'm a sucker for found family)[4:22 PM]But Byleth does act as the heart and glue of the golden deer so things wouldn't be that great for Claude and co 

So we cam see both turkic and persian influences in almyra but I've always wondered at the balance. From the turkic side we have the warrior culture and horse riding. This is also where my speculations on a nomadic society and non monarchy forms of government come from. Also note turkic (central asia, like the mongols) and not turkish (one of the turkic ethnicities). On the other side is ancient persia which was a center of science, technology and learning, a materially wealthy empire with imperial dynasties. These are very different and so balancing headcanons has always been challenging to honor both sides. You can see people are all over the spectrum in fandom.

Me shaking dorothea by the shoulders: YOU ARE VALID. I AM PROUD OF WHAT YOU HAVE ACCOMPLISHED. EAT THE RICH

im a caught between the dual desires of seeing sylvain succeed at something and be really cool, and seeing sylvain publicly make a fool of himself. sylvain miserable for mundane reasons is such a good look. I pin Sylvain in a headlock and force 2 gallons of respect women juice down his throat

In any universe. Claude's weekly schedule would fill me with terror.

Leonie and dorothea both have "I know a guy" vibes

A while ago I complained that the fodlan calendar doesn’t make sense. Why does the year begin on month 4? Well I recently got around to reading through the abyss library and it confirms that fodlan used to be on the gregorian calendar with months 1-12 lining up with our january-december which in a lot of countries are just month/moon 1-12 and then seiros and the church brought in a new calendar system (imperial year and "___ Moon" naming system). so combined with the other hints from the agarthans (un symbol, ICBMs, etc.), pretty much confirms that fodlan is indeed a post apocalyptic modern world. So the weird calendar system DOES have an in universe justification!

[ichigopanhpff]

BNHA Fic: Blink! Ch. 2

Read Ch. 1

I swear, we’ll get to the good stuff soon.

--

Knock-knock.

Quickly gathering the paperwork back into the folder, Ren shoved everything back into the drawer. Taking quick calming breaths, she peeked opened the door to see most of the eager faces of 1-A.

“Ah! Senpai!” Aishido excitedly greeted. “We’re having a “king of rooms” competition right now and we wanted to include you in on it!” “That’s nice but my room’s a bit of a mess–” “Too late!”

A few of the students pushed their way through and stumbled in, wedging Ren between the door and the wall. Ah, the power of youth, she fleetingly thought as her back and ribcage reeled in pain.

“Ohhh! It’s so grown up!” Uraraka praised with her hands clasped, looking around in amazement. Ren’s wooden bed frame doubled as storage space and was lower than the usual frame. To the left sat a low desk and a wooden stacking shelves with her personal effects and drawers. “And simple!” “Everything’s so tastefully done!” Sero analyzed the simple star patterned charcoal gray drape curtain Ren put up and the scattered posters on her walls. A twine was hung on the far wall with clothesline clips holding photos. “Minimalist and stylish.” “As expected of a senpai,” Iida nodded with confidence. “We should learn from this.” “It’s modern Japanese...” Todoroki uttered out, impressed with the design. “Maybe I should’ve done my room like this.”

“You’re all really at your own pace, aren’tcha,” their R.A. blurted out from being pinned behind the door, promptly sliding down onto the floor and rubbing her back.

The class panicked and helped her out. She sighed and dusted herself off while everyone profusely apologized.

“It’s fine but just don’t get carried away, okay?” she dismissively stated, rubbing the back of her head. She didn’t have the heart to trample on the little fun they got to have. “Anyway, this is my room. Welcome.”

“T-Takahiro-senpai!” a young boy’s voice trembled out. Everyone in the room turned to look at a freckled boy with disheveled dark green hair looking at a photo frame found on one of the cubby shelves. “You know Melissa Shield?!”

“Whoa whoa! Who’s Melissa?!” Sero asked and suddenly threw Izuku in a headlock. “Midoriya, you sly dog! Havin’ a foreigner girlfriend over summer vacay!”

Oh, so that’s Midoriya... I think Melissa said he preferred to be called ‘Deku.’ He’s... smaller than I thought, Ren thought to herself as he was bombarded with questions by his classmates. The boy suddenly got flustered and embarrassed; his face blushing two shades of red. She couldn’t help but chuckle.

“Oh, Melissa-san. From I-Island,” Uraraka suddenly remembered. “She was super nice. She showed us around I-Expo after everything happened.” “And knew so much about everything there,” Jiro chimed in.  “Melissa’s my childhood friend, Midoriya-kun,” Ren answered with a wide smile after the commotion died down. “From when I was living in California.” “Whoa, senpai! You lived in America?!” Hagakure enquired with excitement. “That’s so amazing!” “Well, I was born there. I’m a hafu*.” “It’s amazing how well you speak Japanese though,” Yaoyoruzu remarked.

“I’ve been here since I was 8 at an international school before I got into U.A.” ”How did you get into U.A.? Through recommendations?” Kaminari casually asked. “I remember Aizawa-sensei saying you were strong.” ”I took the exam to get in. And please don’t pay any mind as to what Aizawa’s saying: I’m really not that strong.” ”That’s totally somethin’ someone really strong would say though,” Kirishima commented and rubbed his chin. “Being humble about it is so manly!” “So how was it going to school overseas?” a boy with glasses asked while moving his arms like a robot. “Are the education systems as good as ours?” “I don’t remember much of it, to be honest...” Ren trailed off, her eyes downcasted at her feet. “But I do remember the school being big.” “As expected of America...” Iida gushed. “So if you and Melissa-san were childhood friends...” Izuku muttered and jumped up nervously. “D-Does that mean you know All-Might too?!” “We’re loosely acquainted, yes. I’m not as close with him as Mels and her dad are.” “Ah, is that so.”

The boy breathed a sigh for some reason.

“Deku’s a huge All-Might fan,” Uraraka whispered close to Ren. “His room’s fully decorated with his face.” “Oh, a fanboy.” “Uraraka-san! Please don’t say anymore!” the boy exclaimed in a state, blushing furiously. “It’s fine. Your room is supposed to show your personality and interests, after all,” the R.A. calmly said with a small smile. “Oh interesting. I never thought of our rooms that way,” Ashino said. “Anyway we should get moving,” Iida interrupted. “I’m sure Takahiro-senpai is tired after today and we should wrap up this contest soon.” “’Kay, class rep!” the rest of the students responded. “Sorry for the intrusion.”

As the commotion died down, Ren was able to shower and relax after a long day. As she walked to the elevator, muffled talking could be heard coming from outside. She slid her veranda window halfway open and peered through from the side to see 7 students standing by the lamp post by the entrance.

“–I hardened my heart and spoke so harshly...”

That quivering voice. Sounds like Asui.

She felt bad eavesdropping, but continued to in order to get a general idea of the dynamic of 1-A. After all, she’s coming into this dorm a stranger when they’ve had close to half a year to bond.

“The whole “King of All Rooms” thing happened because we all understood how Deku and the others must be feeling...” Ochaco’s voice said.

Ah so that’s it… They must be talking about Kamino.

Ren now understood why Aizawa didn’t expel anyone here.

They’re all special in their own way and have forged an ironclad bond with one another. It’s not something a villain or a saboteur can easily wheedle in and destroy. Her shoulders immediately jumped hearing Kirishima apologizing at the top of his lungs. All she could do was close her eyes with a lopsided grin and sighed through her nose.

They may be young, but their hearts and minds are in the right place. The makings of a great hero are there.

At that moment, Ren had a fleeting thought as to the other reason why Aizawa put her here, but it was of no importance for now.

–

Everyone’s alarms in 1-A went off close to the same time. Ren sluggishly reached around for hers with her eyes still closed, her hand hitting air and the night stand with a muffled thud. Groaning aloud, she let out a long sigh before propping her elbows up on her bed with her eyes halfway open. Finally shutting up the source of her annoyance, her heavy head flopped back down onto her soft pillow and groaned into it.

She forced herself to roll out of bed 5 minutes later and let out a long stretch of her upper body. Sighing again, she gingerly stood up and pulled back her curtains to let the sun greet her. Slumberously blinking, she scratched the back of her head and went to grab her items to wash up downstairs. She saw Ashino and Yaoyorozu walk past when she opened her door.

“Good morning, Ren-senpai!” the two girls greeted. “… Mornin’.” Ren muttered out and stifled a small yawn. “So who won last night? The King of Rooms?” “Oh, Sato did!” Ashino happily replied. “His chiffon cake was sooooo tasty!” “Aw I missed cake? Boo.”

She pressed the button to call for the elevator. “You should join us next time, senpai,” Yaoyorozu said with an inviting smile. “It’d be a lot of fun.” “I’d like that. Thanks.” “Senpai...” Ashino paused for a second looking at Ren, stifling a giggle. “… You have some gnarly bed head.” “Ah, yeah. It’ll sort itself out.”

The doors to the elevator dinged open while the three girls idly chatted on the way to the female communal bathroom. Everyone went about their business and grabbed breakfast after changing into their uniforms. Even though their living arrangements have changed, the day-to-day routine in school remained the same.

While the first years were working on their signature moves, the second years were refining theirs alongside battle strategies. Ren’s gym curriculum today was to fight close-range fighters with her quirk; there were only 4 in her class who fell within that range, one of which was her friend Tomoe.

“Alright, Ren-Ren,” Tomoe growled out and prepared herself to transform parts of herself into a porcupine. “Time to get stabby stabbed.” “Really?” she deadpanned and placed her hand on her hip. “That’s your one-liner?” “Please move your body, not your mouth,” their teacher, Snipe, scolded from the sidelines with his arms crossed.

Tomoe took the initiative on the attack by charging at Ren. As her friend got closer, she timed the impact and immediately disappeared.

“Ah this crap again...” the porcupine groaned out and immediately turned, swinging her claw to intercept Ren’s roundhouse kick. “Your moves are getting tiresome!”

Tomoe turned it up a level and decided to try out her new move: Claw Flurry. Going at max speed, she concentrated all of her energy and dove at her with barraging fast swipe attacks. Unable to escape the warpath, Ren pressed a button on one of her cuffs. Within seconds, a pair of clubs phased into her hands. Preparing for impact, she held her arms out in X-formation in hopes of slowing Tomoe down. The clash exploded in a barrage of needles and sparks.

“You’re gonna haveta do more than that!” her friend roared out as she pushed her friend across the ground. All Ren did was smirk and saw glimmer of a reflection. Next thing Tomoe knew, her friend disappeared again and she had a one-way ticket to the far wall.

The pink haired girl reappeared not too far behind, wearing a triumphant smirk.

“You were saying?” All her spiky rodent friend could muster up was a shaky right arm flipping her off.

The rest of the day went by in a flash and classes were over already. “Dude, you gotta do better with your moves. They’re too predictable,” Tomoe complained while rotating her right shoulder. Her face had a small bandage affixed on her left cheek from the collision. “I pretty much knew when you were gonna kick me.” “I can’t help it. It’s muscle memory at this point,” Ren groaned out. “I’m really trying.” “Well try harder or I’m gonna ask for a new sparring partner.” “How about sparring with the underclassmen?” Seri suggested. “I mean, they dunno your quirk and I’m sure you’ll be able to learn a thing or two.” “One of them already wants to 1v1 me.” “Is it the scowling spiky blond one?” Seri and Tomoe asked simultaneously. “I–What the?! How?!” Ren sputtered out. “We developed a psychic quirk,” Seri drawled out, pointing to her temple like some mental person with the tip her of tongue hanging off to the side of her mouth. All Ren did was playfully shove her aside.

After messing around a bit longer, she left her friends to head back to 1-A. As the dorm came into view, something that sounds like crackling lighting could be heard to the far right of the building. Curiosity peaked, Ren decided to check it out and saw a boy with wild viridian green hair glowing and practicing his kicks.

“No, it’s still off...” he muttered to himself, looking through his notes in a notebook he laid on the grass. “Midoriya-kun?”

His shoulders jumped slightly and turned around to meet her curious hazel green eyes.

“Ah, Takahiro-senpai!” he greeted with a lopsided smile. “Good evening.” “What’re you doin’ out here?”

Ren walked closer to Midoriya and sat down beside him, setting her bag down.

“Ah, I was just working on something related to my fighting style,” he shyly explained. “I asked Iida for some advice since he primarily uses his legs to attack due to his quirk.”

As he continued on, she studied the young boy’s features. Whenever he talked about something he’s passionate about, he really lights up more. Noticing her eyes on him, he suddenly got bashful again.

“S-sorry,” he looked down and rubbed the back of his head shyly. “I have a tendency to ramble when I get excited about something.” She softly shook her head. “It’s fine. It’s refreshing,” she replied with a small smile. “But if you really want to sharpen your Shoot Style, you should watch some videos on taekwondo.” “Tae...kwondo?” “It’s a Korean martial art consisting of only kicks,” she explained. “From what I could see before, you’re getting the speed. It’s your form that’s sloppy with too many openings. If your opponent is someone with a quick eye, they’d see through it immediately and your attack would quickly be nullified. This is also something you can look over with Iida, too.”

Midoriya could be seen madly scribbling her advice into the notebook, muttering intensely to himself. She couldn’t help but chuckle.

“Well, I’ll leave you to it.” Ren stood back up and dusted the grass off of her skirt before picking up her bag. “Don’t stay out here too late, Midoriya-kun.” “You can call me ‘Deku’, Takahiro-senpai.” “And you can call me ‘Ren’, Deku-kun.”

Making her way back to the main entrance, random chatter could be heard from the common room. And for some reason, Uraraka is floating on the ceiling, blushing madly and covering her face. She removed her outside shoes and placed them into her designated locker before swapping to her slippers.

“Uraraka-chan,” Ren called out from below. “You okay up there?” “She’s just in denial she’s in looooveeee,” Aishino’s voice teased, followed by laughter from the rest of the girls. “Miiiinnnaaa!” she squealed out. “It’s not like thaattttt!”

She decided to sit with the girls a bit before settling upstairs for homework. “Ren-senpai!” Hagakure called. “Have you ever been in love?” “Me? Hmm…” she thought about it for a moment. “Would you even call it love?” “Ehhh??? So you have?!?!” Ashino excitedly clamored and climbed on the table. “Who is it? Who? Who? Who?” “No one you guys know.” “Whaattt? Booo~ Then have you had a boyfriend?” Jiro asked. “I did in junior high.” “Now this is regular high school girl talk!” Ashino shouted and air punched from all the excitement. “It wasn’t anything special. We only dated for a few months before we broke up,” Ren disregarded the event and rested her chin on her hand. “Our personalities and interests were just too different. Come to think of it, I gave him my first kiss.”

By this time, Uraraka landed back on the couch and all the girls were in squeal mode.

“So? How was the kiss?” Hagakure squeaked out the question, practically hopping out of her seat for the answer. “… Forgettable. And awkward.” She rubbed the back of her neck uncomfortably. “Sorry to disappoint.” “Uwah, it was that bad?” Jiro groaned out. “It’s not that he was bad. He just… didn’t leave an impression.” “Well then, I hope your next boyfriend will leave a bigger impression then, ribbit,” Asui encouraged with her wide trademark smile. “That’s not gonna be anytime soon,” Ren chuckled and cocked her head at the brown haired girl with a curious smirk. “Buuuut, we can do something ‘bout you.”

She leaned into the brunette’s ear and whispered, “You like Deku-kun, don’tcha? I saw you staring at him when I was outside.”

Her face suddenly burned and turned as red as a cherry tomato. Were she a cartoon right now, she’d have steam coming out of her ears.

“Noooo~ Senpai, not you toooooo!” she shouted as she ran toward the elevator.  – The daily grind went on between practicing and studying. Next thing they knew, it was already the night before the provisional license exams.

“Uwah, I just can’t calm down...” Kirishima blurted out, holding his pounding chest and paced. “Can’t sleep either.” “I know right?” Kaminari agreed and crossed his arms. His right leg couldn’t stop shaking. “All we can expect are people with stronger quirks there.” “It’d be nice to have the upper hand so we can get a leg up on our opponents...” Tokoyami thought aloud. “I know I’ll be fine,” Bakugou blurted out. “I’m gonna murder ‘em all.” “If only there was a way we could get some sorta hint to...” Sero trailed off as his eyes wandered to a certain figure walking past them and into the kitchen, suddenly having an idea. “S-senpai! Ren-senpai!”

The girl slowly turned to the common room where the boys were hanging out.

“Hm? What’s up?” “You have your hero license right?” the black haired boy asked. “I do… Why?” “Well, we were wondering… if there was anything you can tell us about how the exams tomorrow so that we’re better prepared for it?”

Ren put a thoughtful finger to her lips, scanning her memories.

“I can’t say anything useful. They change it up every year depending on the examiner...” “Oh is that so...” the boys dejectedly claimed and sighed heavily. “So what did you have to do for yours when you took it, senpai?” Kirishima enquired. “We had to evacuate citizens from an office building that had a bomb threat called in,” Ren remembered. “We then had to find the bomb and deactivate it in a group of four within 30 minutes.”

A dark look suddenly emerged on her face, as if something was in front of her she wanted to kill immediately.

“S-s-senpai?” Kaminari squeaked out, feeling the intimidating aura seeping out of her. “It was a test from hell… Never in my life had I have to dye my hands with so much liquid crimson…” “The darkness she’s exuding...” Tokoyami commented with a slight quiver in his voice. “It’s so dense.” “Did you kill someone?!” Sero exclaimed. “No. The red dye from clipping one of the wires got on my hero costume…” The fingers on her left hand twitched. “It took three days to get the stain out.”

At that moment, the boys thought the same thing: Her aura felt like Bakugou’s whenever he was ready to murder something.

“But that’s all in the past.”

She changed back so fast!, they all thought.

“And you guys’ll be fine; you’re strong,” Ren encouraged. “Out of everyone in this school excluding some 3rd years, you have the most first-hand battle experiences. As long as you use that knowledge to your advantage, you can turn the tides easily.” “Any advice on how to do that?” Kaminari asked with a look of anxiousness.

The upperclassman stayed quiet for a second, trying to search for the best answer to quell his shaky heart.

“Remember the pain you experienced at your lowest point and carve that into your resolve.”

Those words left a strong impact on the boys and all they could respond with was silence. Suddenly remembering the recent events of Bakugou’s kidnapping and what went down at Kamino, the group already knew what they needed to do.

“I-I’m gonna go sleep now,” Kirishima announced. “’Night all.” “Same,” the others blurted out in scatters.

One by one, they filed out of the common room. Except for one person.

“Aizawa-sensei told you everything, didn’t he?” Bakugou enquired. “Not everything,” she calmly responded. “There were a lot of pieces I had to put together.” “So you know our lowest point...” he began. “What was yours?” “Sorry?” “I don’t like repeating myself,” Bakugou growled out with annoyance. “It’s not an answer you’re expecting.” “Try me.”

Ren stared deep into his crimson eyes with her hazel green ones; they were flickering with dark impulses.

“I’ll tell you if you pass the exam tomorrow,” she proposed. “Haah? Is that a challenge?” he cocked his head up. “Maybe.” “That’s not good enough,” the blond boy lulled his head back, staring. “If I win, you have to tell me that and everythin’ ‘bout your quirk.” “… Fine.”

Bakugou scoffed and slowly got off of the couch. Making his way to the elevator, he said within an earshot, “I knew you were the teasing type.” “And what’s that supposed to mean?” she asked with a curiously arched eyebrow, stopping him in his steps. “Whatever you want it to mean, senpai.” As he walked away, Ren suddenly remembered one thing: the U.A. hazing tradition at the exam. … I’m sure Aizawa will fill them in, she thought.

–

A/N: *Hafu: someone who’s born with one Japanese and non-Japanese parent.

Read Ch. 3

[imagine-wannaone]

It Cold™

I’m back at it again with the creative titles and this fic is v apt to me as I woke up to  Fricken load of snow outside. This was a realistic au request which honestly had me shook because I could do honestly anything but I hope this suits???

 • Okay so you attend one of those fancy as hell schools where you can board because people from around county attend and can’t easily go home every day,  • Lucky for you it’s only a 20 minute walk away from your house,  • 20 minutes too long because winter is a bitch to you and walking home in the rain is torture,  • Sometimes you WISH you boarded, like most of your friends,  • But life goes on I guess?  • So because of school the work is full on and stressful; there’s a lot of extra clubs,  • Which is where you first encounter Huang Justin, all the way from China but living in the next city over when not boarding,  • Seeing as you spend most of your time sat at a desk, the athletics teams practically calls your name,  • Or maybe that’s the lack of sleep from stress,  • Too relatable? I’ll stop,  • But you sign straight up and find yourself to be an all rounder with a specialty in sprinting?  • Fast as a whippet,  • But Huang Justin also happens to be on the team, a star in the jumping sports, whether it be long or high jump,  • But he often finds himself on the relay team as well because why not honestly this boy is an icon,

 • The teams sweetie honestly will stay through the WHOLE track meet to cheer every single person on from the team,  • And will always offer the best advice he can,  • And will always partner up with someone for warmups if they don’t want to be alone,  • Basically that one dude that’s sporty and nice so basically everyone loves them?  • Yeah that’s Huang Justin,  • And  you also think he’s honestly the best person in the continent,  • Justin and you usually hang out at athletics and chat a lot, You’re an iconic duo, although at school you hardly see each other,  • You talk often at practices and make banners for each other,  • Mutual support wow I love it,  • And you find Justin has a soft spot in your heart,  • But winter rolls around so the Christmas/winter holidays approach at the speed of light and before you know it the last class of school has ended,  • But you know when teachers just really seem to hate life and everything involved and decide homework for the holidays is a gr8 idea?  • Well yeah that happens,  • And you know when the teachers don’t even print out material for you?  • We yeah that also happens,  • So when the last bell of the term goes you find yourself sat in the school library printing off homework sheets,  • And by the time you finally drag yourself out of the library a small scale storm has started?  • You’re shook™  • Why were you not informed??? It’d just been freezing cold when school had finished but apparently mother nature has mood swings and you were at her nasty mercy,  • Honestly she needs to pull herself together,

 • And you’re about to start shuffling through the building snow, stinging and biting at your bare skin,  • But as you waddle past the bus stop, getting ready to battle your way to your house, a figure huddled against the bus stop calls your name over the wind,  • You spin, catch yourself from slipping and slide over the figure quickly, not wanting to spend any extra time in the wicked temperature,  • You can make out the figure of Huang Justin, travel bag over his shoulder, and a thick coat wrapping him but still visibly shivering,  • This is when I literally want to wrap people up and give them hot drinks,  • “Y/N, You live around here right?”  • You nod quickly, the scarf wrapped around your face would muffle your words Anyway,  • “I know we’re not the closest but the storm stopped all the buses, do you think I could stay over?”  • It takes less than a second to think over your answer,

 • You could never leave someone in a storm with nowhere to go,  • And the fact this is Justin makes the choice even easier,  • So that’s how you find yourself making your way home in a small scale snow storm, battling the elements together,  • You wrap your extra long scarf around both of your necks because when you get water down your neck it’s the Actual worse,  • You bump into each other a little bit and you really try not to accidentally strangle him with it but it’s efficient enough,  • And you’re walking in relative silence, trying to ignore the sting of the snow and the ice in your bones, when a warm hand closes around yours and brings it into Justin’s coat pocket,  • And you let your eyes float to his face, you don’t know whether it’s red from the cold or the weather but you smile a little at the action and carry on,  • Hands thawing out and a happy heart 10/10,  • And like it’d be weird and way too fast with anyone else,  • But it’s Justin, a fluffy bean who has everyone best interests at heart, and he’s not exactly a stranger,  • And you’re kinda disappointed when you have to take your hand away to unlock the door, your parents not home for the weekend (on a weekend break) and your brother, Jinyoung, still has a few more days of university before returning home,  • You both tumbled through the door and into the warmth and you wanted to cry because CENTRAL HEATING,  • But you stay strong and show Justin upstairs, lending him some of your brother’s warm baggy clothes used especially for doing nothing,  • Doing nothing - your special skill,  • Everyone knows the second step to getting warm is hot drinks,  • And really, hot chocolate is the perfect answer to everything right?  • Justin definitely agrees, when you push the mug towards him across the counter a smile stretches across his face and his eyes light at the steam,  •  Never have you seen someone so excited for hot chocolate,  • You sneak glance at him as he chugs the hot drink, graceful as ever,  • His damp hair is drying leaving patches looking extremely soft, and his cheeks are still slightly red and your brother’s clothes fit him nicely,  • You seriously hope he warms up soon because you don’t want him freezing in your house nOpe,  • So you turn the heating up even higher,  • Like you defo tryna make the whole house a sauna,  • And you grab all of the blankets your house has to offer before hurding the boy to the sofa,

 • Before you can throw approximately half of the world’s blankets over you, he grabs your wrist, pulling you down as well,  • His laughter rings in your ears as your body comes crashing down into the sofa as well, completely unprepared for such a situation

 • You swear you hear him murmur CUTE,

 • It makes your heart double honestly how adorable could he be,

 • He leans down to grab a few of the abandoned blankets before throwing an arm over your shoulder, making your cheeks flush,  • You’re definitely going to play it off as still being cold,  • But you know Justin won’t fall for that he damn smart,  • “Come on, Y/N, you’re letting me stay, let me look after you as well,”  • Wow where was this Justin in the relay races?  • He’s way too much,  • So you put on a film and hide under the blankets,  • And then you realise you still have to eat, but you can’t order anything in this weather but you’re not too great at cooking,  • You nearly made Jinyoung sick in year 8 from a curry you made rip,  • But then, if you thought Justin couldn’t get any better, he really pulls it out the bag and pulls a couple of packets of ramyeon out of his bag???  • “Justin what the hell do you pack for your journeys???”

 • “Essentials”  • You stare at his bag of mysteries essentials, as he directs himself around your kitchen with a relaxed ease,

 • Justin obviously had a very different view of essentials to you as you peek inside the bag to see 6 pairs of earphones and 4 cans of hairspray,

 • Maybe you needed to change your ideas of essential,  • You sit opposite each other in the kitchen to eat, caught in an intense competition to see who would laugh first,

  • You’re bored nerds okay what else are you supposed to do?    • But then you decide to stoop low indeed and tickle the boy opposite you,  • He can’t take it, bursting out laughing and spraying you in noodles, causing you to fall off of your chair in shock, which only increased his laughter,  • He rounds the side and offers you a hand up, a beautiful smile gracing his flawless face and you swear he has a glowing aura,  • Lmao it’s just the kitchen lights but no one tells you so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯  • But he doesn’t expect you to spring up so fast, you feel like you’re flying and when you land on your feet you’re damn close to Huang Justin himself,  • The soft smile stays on his face as you look up at him, feeling the heat radiate off this chest, soft hands steadying you,  • So you step away to wash the plates because that is way too much for your weak heart it seems,  • But he’s quick to pick up a tea towel, jumps into the kitchen counter and starts to dry for you, starting an easy conversation about who on the sprint team could be in the next relay team,  • Wow a domestic soon to be couple,  • And then it’s back to the sofa and under the blankets,  • Sleeping is a whole different argument,  • Justin doesn’t want to use any of your families beds, because that might be a bit weird,  • And you agree - sleeping in a stranger bed? No thanks,

 • But you want him to sleep in your bed, you can’t have a guest sleep on the sofa,  • But he insists he’s fine on the sofa, that you should sleep in your own bed,  • So you meet in the middle and both sleep on the sofa, it’s honestly easier tbh,  • And you had one of those soft, swallow-you-whole material sofas, so that was comfy as hell Anyway,  • And boy were there enough blankets for a small army,  • But you wake up with Justin’s arm wrapped around your waist with his warmth radiating towards your side,  • You turn your face to the side, nearly jumping when his sleeping eyes appear right in-front of yours,  • He looks so peaceful and vulnerable and you have to admit he seems to be the cutest you’ve ever seen him, hair tousled and face unhindered by any expression,  • You can’t help but stare I mean who can blame you, you have Huang Justin sleeping literally right next to you, using you as a teddy bear,

 • You contemplate what to do, get up? Pretend to sleep till he wakes up? Keep on staring?  • You slowly close your eyes and try to calm your heartbeat, that had unhelpfully started to quicken,  • You’re 99% sure Justin would be able to feel your heartbeat when he woke up and you don’t want him thinking you’re having a heart attack,  • “Pretending to sleep, huh Y/N?”  • Well done, you played yourself,  • “And you weren’t?”  • “Touché, y/n, touché”  • You open your eyes to find his brown ones, soft and beautiful, looking directly at yours,  • And in the warmth of layers of blankets, with snow built high outside and the sun rising through the window, the two of you lean in to share your first, wonderful, dizzying kiss,

[captainsimagines]

Kill ‘Em With Kindness - PART FOUR

Bucky Barnes x Reader

    You had been detected. You were now on their radar.  You were recruited for one mission only.  You’re trained and put to the test.  With your background, everyone realizes it was a mistake recruiting a college student who would soon be faced with the thing that drove her to kill in the first place.

Warnings: violence, blood, swearing Word Count: 3,129

“You are the most beautiful person I have ever seen… I want to ruin you.”

“You’re too late.”

PART FOUR

    The second you walked through the classroom doors, everyone noticed you had a friend.  With a class of 300 students, an Avenger was pretty easy to sniff out.  You guided Natasha to an empty row and sat down, taking out your notebook and pens.  She brought along a notepad, eager to learn something as well.  Neither of you paid attention to the gawking of men in the room or the squeals the women couldn’t swallow.  But just like any other day, you sat quietly and waited for the professor to begin the lecture.

    Halfway through, Natasha leaned over and whispered,  “I didn’t know cavemen co-existed with humans! That’s so interesting.”

    You smiled and chuckled, peaking at her notepad.  Her notes were clean and detailed, showcasing the most amazing handwriting you had ever seen.  You scoffed, “I’m jealous of your handwriting.”

    She giggled.  Natasha Romanoff fucking giggled. You furrowed your eyebrows and stared at her in surprise.  When she noticed your expression, she rolled her eyes. “I’m not made of stone and I know you aren’t either.”

    That shut you up.  You turned away and leaned down in your chair.  

    “How’d you learn to write that quickly?” she asked.  

    You shrugged your shoulders, “Underground training, I guess.”  You never lied.  This was a special thing about you.  The questions you have been getting asked recently were never left unanswered.  You found it helpful to always respond with a simple answer, even if that answer didn’t quite satisfy the requirements.  You didn’t lie.  

    “You know you’re going to have to tell us what that ‘underground training’ consisted of,” Natasha said, copying down the words on the lecture slide.  You only nodded, chipping at your nails like you always did.

    “By the way, that blonde dude over there is checking you out.” Your remark didn’t stir anything throughout Natasha and she responded with a simple, “That’s nice.”

    In all honestly, you were growing fond of Natasha.  At first, you thought she would be your enemy considering your fighting style and attitude was similar to that of hers, but it only fueled her interest in you.  Natasha felt as if she had found someone she could talk to, someone who shared her views and skills. Although, your skill set was very different from hers and she was beginning to recognize this.  

    Before you could reach into your backpack and grab your red nail polish, the windows from the ceiling crashed down to the body of students, smashing all over the ground.  You and Natasha stood up and stayed put while everyone screamed and raced to the emergency exits.  The professor yelled at the students, signaling them where to go.  You and Natasha shared a look before she pulled a gun from her waist and aimed to the swarm of men sliding in from ropes.  You hooked your fingers through your blazer and removed the two knives attached to your bra strap.  

    “Oh, yeah.  I like you,” Natasha told you before she kicked herself off the seats, flying down to the front of the classroom and shooting men left and right.

      You took the stairs, running towards a man with his gun pointed straight at you.  You whipped around the aisle and grabbed his gun, pointing it in the other direction and then kneeing him in the crotch.  Once he doubled over, you kneed him in the nose sending him upright once again.  With his throat exposed and his eyes screwed shut because of his broken nose, you sliced his throat and continued your decent.  Dodging students on your way down was difficult, especially when they would want to watch you in battle.  You urged them to head for the exits and get to a safe place.  You didn’t have to tell them twice.  

      Blank face and all, you turned to make sure Natasha was doing fine.  Which was a stupid thing to do because Black Widow could handle herself.  She, however, did the same to you.  You smirked at her and launched yourself towards three men, taking them all down with your two little knives.  Natasha showed up behind you, punching the guy’s back and twisting his neck with her bare hands.  You thanked her, but your kind words came with some uninvited guests.

     Two against seven wasn’t normally an issue, but Natasha had run out of bullets and each of the seven men had a loaded gun.  Natasha sighed and looked at you.  Your focus was on the seven men before you.  When one of them aimed their gun towards Natasha, you instantly stepped in front of her to take the incoming bullet.  Natasha was stunned and looked at the back of your head in disbelief, the action ultimately startling her.  

    “What do you think you’re doing attacking a college campus?” you snipped.

     The man in the middle took off his mask and gave it to the man on his right, inching towards you little by little.  

      “We want the Winter Soldier,” he answered.  The HYDRA symbol on their sleeves made an appearance and Natasha cursed herself for not noticing that sooner.  Without being seen, Natasha pressed the distress signal on her bracelet to let Tony know your precise location.

     “He’s obviously not here,” Natasha said, studying each man individually, knowing very well you were only concentrating on the movements of the one man before you.  

    “Bring him to me,” he declared.  You shook your head. 

    “He’s not with us,” you said.  That wasn’t technically a lie.  He was not with you at the moment, but you knew they would take it as if he wasn’t residing at the Avengers compound. 

    The man before you raised his gun underneath your chin.  “You spoke to him in the early hours of Sunday morning.  You know where he is.”

    You were confused.  How did they know you spoke to him yesterday?

    “What is that supposed to mean?” you fought.  He removed the safety and was about to pull the trigger but was startled when a red and blue shield flew through the already broken glass and knocked out four of his men.  You twisted his wrist, causing him to drop the gun.  Steve, or Captain America as you were watching him now, knocked the last two men out and turned towards you and Natasha.  

    You kept your hands wrapped around the man’s wrists while Natasha tugged on his hair so he could look directly at Steve.

    “What the hell is going on here?” Steve commanded, his voice deeper than you had ever heard it.

    “Give us the Winter Soldier or we will do more than kill only one of you,” the man said through clenched teeth.  You looked at Steve, wondering what his next play was.  Without warning, Steve drove his shield across the man’s face and put him to sleep.   ______________

    You were all sitting in the conference room, your heads hung low and your jaws clenched.  Every once in a while, Bucky would stare at you from the corner of his eye.  The conversation you two had replaying in his mind.  He couldn’t get you out of his head.  You had nightmares, too.  What did they ever do to you? The thought of you strapped to a metal board being electrocuted and tortured had Bucky breathing deeply and lowly, and he closed his eyes to try and get rid of the mental image.  

    You couldn’t take another minute of deafening silence so you raised your head and spoke softly.  “What the hell were they doing at my school?”

    Everyone’s eyes turned to you, the question on their lips as well.  

    “We have no idea,” Bruce answered, swiping his hands over his face.

    “How do they know about me or where I was going to be?” you lowered your voice.  This way you could let everyone know that you weren’t about to take anymore shit from them.

    “No clue,” Tony replied this time.  

    You exhaled through your nose and straightened your back.  “When were you going to tell me about the camera’s in my room? They were obviously hacked! That’s how they know Bucky’s here!”

    She said my name.  She knows my name.  Bucky snapped out of his thoughts when he registered what you just said.  

    “Cameras?” Bucky softly asked.  You looked at him and your face softened.  You almost forgot that this whole mess revolved around him.  They wanted him.       “They’re all over my room.  I covered them with tape once I found them all,” you replied.  Tony and Bruce ran out and headed to your room, you assumed.  You were confused.

    “We didn’t put cameras in your room, Y/N,” Steve said.  You looked at him in disbelief.  You scanned the room to see if they were joking.  They weren’t.

    Your heart stopped and you felt the room closing in on you.  You started to breath heavily, your eyes fixated on the coffee stain on the table.  Your quick breaths did not go unnoticed and soon everyone was asking if you were okay and if you needed something. 

   “They’re back,” you said.  You whipped your head up and made contact with none other than the Winter Soldier himself.  “They’re back.” They had found you.

    Your voice cracked.  You hadn’t cried about the incident for three years.  You weren’t about to start now.

    “Y/N, calm down.  Who’s back?” Natasha placed her hand on your shoulder but you ducked at her touch.

    “It’s been three years.  They couldn’t have found me that quick,” you stated, looking for a way out of the room.  Natasha stepped in front of you with worried eyes but she was determined to make you stay.

    “We are going to protect you.  Tell us who’s after you,” Wanda said.  You shook your head.

    “I can protect myself.  I’ve been doing it all this time,” you said.  Bucky was now standing up, ready to hold you back if you started to physically fight.

    “You need to tell us.  You aren’t the only one who has just been compromised.  We all have,” Steve stated.  He was right.  This wasn’t just about you anymore.  The cameras were meant for you.  They wanted Bucky for God knows what, but you were absolutely certain it was them.

    By now, Tony and Bruce had returned holding the cameras they ripped from the walls and smashed.  You panicked, looking for answers.  

    “Paris, France… three years ago.  They hid my name.  Look up ‘Lucy Campbell’,” you revealed quietly.  Before they did their research, Tony’s voice sparked your senses.

    “This is much more than a single name now, Y/N.  We need your details,” Tony commanded.  You turned away and clenched your jaw.

    “I’m freaking out about something I’m not ready to tell you because it’s personal as fuck and you’re still begging for information?” you lowered your voice.  You were becoming monotone again.  You were fading again.

    “Don’t pressure her, Stark,” Bucky tried to reason with him but Tony interrupted.

    “And you? They want you.  You.  You really don’t want her to reveal anything right now?  This is on you.  It’s always on you.”

    Steve stepped towards Tony but Bucky placed his metal arm across his chest.  No fights.  They had just repaired themselves.  It was much too early for any more fights.

    “Don’t blame Bucky for this!” you yelled.  This caught everyone’s attention.  Bucky turned to you, his eyes widening.

    “We were doing just well without you in the picture, kid,” Tony turned to you.  

   “You. Kidnapped. Me,” you clenched your fists around the edge of the chair causing your knuckles to turn white.  

   “We need you for one mission.  One mission and you’re gone.”

    You shook your head in disbelief and stared at Tony.  

    “Starting today, your school knows you’ll be taking a leave of absence.  You are now confined to the compound.”

    You pushed the chair to the desk harshly and tugged at your hair.  Your temper was shortening by the second.  You stared wide eyed at Tony still.

    “What?” you screamed.

    “Romanoff will train you harder.  Bruce and I will work on your new suit.  You will go back to school after the mission.”

    “I didn’t ask for any of this!” You were about to combust.  You were done.  You burst through the conference room doors and ignored the calls of your new “team”.  No tears fell from your eyes and you weren’t about to show just how vulnerable you truly were to those freaks.

    “Hey, Y/N! Wait up!”

    You heard a recognizable voice calling out for you.  You continued walking but they quickly caught up to you.  When they tugged at your shoulder, you elbowed them in the gut and tried to leave again.  Next thing you felt was your hand smacking against the wall and a white substance covering it.  You whipped your head to the person responsible.  

    “Hey, I’m sorry about Mr. Stark,” Peter explained.  You rolled your eyes and leaned your back against the hallway wall as well.  You didn’t reply and Peter took that as a sign that he should continue.

    “He’s just been really stressed and this mission coming up is going to be a big one.  He even wants me to come and that’s saying something,” Peter said.

    You stared at the kid and tried to read him.  You didn’t detect anything other than sympathy and understanding from the kid.  You tried to untangle your face so you could indirectly tell Peter he could continue talking with you. 

   “I’m sorry for getting you caught the other day.  I didn’t think they would keep you here,” Peter thinly smiled.  You nodded and looked back at your captured hand.  

    “Get me out of this thing.”

    “Oh, yeah- I’m sorry about that,” Peter cut the webbing from you and you relaxed.  You just stared at him while he rocked on his heels.

     “I didn’t even know you were in there,” you admitted.  Peter chuckled and slid his hands into his pockets.

     “I’m the youngest here.  I shouldn’t be raising my voice in situations like this.”

     “Don’t be afraid to speak up,” you told him.  He chuckled again.

    “Yeah, I’ll keep that in mind.  I’m free whenever you want to talk,” Peter offered.  Your lip twitched into a small smile which caused Peter’s eyes to brighten.   

    “Okay,” you replied.  

______________

    It was one in the morning when tapping interrupted your sleepless night.  

    “.- .-. . / -.-- --- ..- / --- -.- .- -.-- ..--..” Are you okay?

    Bucky.  You closed your eyes and smiled.  You hesitated getting out of bed but you felt as if you had to answer him.  Leaning your forehead on the cold wall, you tapped.

    “.. .----. ...- . / -... . . -. / -... . - - . .-. .-.-.-“ I’ve been better.

   It was almost like your roles had reversed.  Bucky smiled at your response.  The small interactions you two were having were making his still heart revive little by little.  He wouldn’t admit this to anyone but you were actually the only other person he has held a conversation with other than Steve.  

    So, his next response was out of the blue and unexpected.  

“-.. --- / -.-- --- ..- / .-- .- -. - / - --- / -.-. --- -- . / --- ...- . .-. ..--..” Do you want to come over?

    You smirked at that.  Were you really ready to talk to someone?  Bucky was like you, thought.  Maybe he only wanted to sit in comfortable silence.  

    “-.-- . ... .-.-.-“ Yes.

   You took a deep breath before opening your bedroom door and knocking on his.  It took a few seconds for Bucky to open the door, but when he did your heart picked up its pace.

    He stood there with a small smile painted on his face.  He moved aside and allowed you to come in.  You walked in and took in your surroundings.  

    Gray walls.  Black and gray sheets.  Black curtains.  White tile floors.  Same walk-in closet and marble bathroom as yours.  

    “It’s nice to meet you,” you finally spoke.  You held your hand out and Bucky shook it.  

    “It’s nice to meet you as well.” You wouldn’t admit to one another, of course but you’d be lying if you didn’t feel your legs wobble after touching him.  

    Small talk was comfortable between the two of you.  You asked him how he joined the Avengers, how long Steve and him were friends, and what his hobbies were.

    After an hour, you both were getting sleepy.  You didn’t want to leave.

    “Can I ask you something?” Bucky asked.  You nodded cautiously.  It depended.

    “Why do you truly do what you do?”

    Although you had been asked this by the other team members, you knew Bucky was implying something else.  Translation: What happened that made you start doing this?

    You looked down at your lap.  You two were seated on Bucky’s bed, an admirable distance in between.

     “Long story.”

     “I have all night.”

    You laughed at that.  “Why do you want to know?”

    “You just seem like you want to get it off your chest,” Bucky commented.  Silence ensued.  

    You sighed and broke down one wall. “Paris. Summer vacation.  Lucy Campbell was kidnapped right in front of my eyes.  I couldn’t save her,” you revealed.

    Bucky only nodded, taking your hand in his metal one.  You looked his arm over, marveling at its technology.  He caught you staring and quickly retracted his hand, only for you to pick it right back up.

    “I like it,” you admitted.  He smiled and let you hold his hand.  Even though you didn’t reveal the whole story behind it all, you still didn’t lie to Bucky.  

    “Who was she?” Bucky was careful not to step over any boundaries.

    “She’s my sister.”

    Bucky’s breath hitched in his throat and he quickly collected himself.  He rubbed circles with his thumb into your knuckles.  You blankly stared at your connected hands.

    “Biological?”

    You nodded.  “She’s married.”

    Bucky noticed you weren’t saying the word “was”, indicating you thought she was still alive.  Even behind your cold and hard exterior, you had hope.

    “Are you okay?” he asked for the second time tonight.  You looked up at him and found yourself lost in his blue eyes.  This ex-assassin has the most beautiful blue eyes.  You wanted to reach forward and feel every inch of him in case you couldn’t see him again.  Feeling him, hearing him, seeing him…

    “I don’t know.”

    Bucky took a few seconds before he removed your hand from his and reached over to pull the sheets back.  He motioned for you to get in and you obliged.  Once settled, you watched him get up and sit in the couch in the corner.  You were grateful he didn’t cuddle up next to you.  You two weren’t even fully acquainted yet.  Then you remembered this was his room.  As if noticing your internal argument, Bucky quickly reassured you.

    “I don’t mind.  Get some sleep.”

    “I don’t sleep that much,” you said.

    Bucky settled into the couch and crossed his arms over his chest. “Me neither.”

Let me know what you think! I got a thousand plot twists for you guys.

TAG LIST:

@owhatshername1 @chipilerendi @g0back2bed @buckyappreciationsociety @4theluvofall @katykyll

[floralmarsupial]

The life and times of the coolest kid to survive the apocalypse.

A-side -

I’m Bo Yo (Bo Burnham)// Rhyme O’ Clock (Wordburglar)// Ass to Mouth (Busdriver) // Obama Mic Drop (The Gregory Brothers) // Very Super Famous (Jon Lajoie) //  Hurt Feelings (Flight of the Concords) // A Mask of My Own Face (Lemon Demon) // Tic Toc (Mother Mother) // Critical Hit (MC Frontalot) 

B-side - 

Spent Gladiator 2 (The Mountain Goats) // Crows 1 (Aesop Rock) // Pepper (Butthole Surfers) // Sweet Dudes and Sweet Ladies (Defiance, Ohio) // Burn Fetish (Eyedea & Abilities) // One More Time With Feeling (Regina Spektor) // Proactive Evolution (WHY?) //Small Red Boy (AJJ) // Trouble (Imagine Dragons) // Bruh... (Lil’ Dicky)

Spotify Link//Youtube Link

Lyrics under readmore (along with warnings for bolded songs)

I’m Bo Yo - (Explicit, mentions of Menstruation, g*psie slur)

'Cause I'm Bo, yo, And I'm the greatest rapper ever, And I'll weather your weather whether you think I'm clever or not, Think you're better, you're not, Don't need a sweater, I'm hot, I'm a real G that can really find your G-spot. Woah, yeah... oh, but I'm inadequate. Have I gotten that point across yet? How original

Rhyme’ O Clock -

Greenwich mean top-notch digital When you kids talk sweet, slop songs pitiful Gag me with spoon Barf not minimal Plaque, it sticks to all your syllables Staying simple for the safest, civilian Syllabubs For the simian serious Motherfuck 

Ass To Mouth-  (Explicit)

 If you think I've eaten my fill, well you've heard wrong My stomach's only filled with bird song My body's waste is like precious metals So I walk around thinking I'm extra special 

Obama Mic Drop-

Lets not pretend I picked this song for the lyrics.

Very Super Famous- (Explicit, AIDS ment, Rape Ment,)

If a lot of people know who you are, it means you're a talented artist In order to be super-famous, you have to be the most smartest When I'm on the red carpets or at celebrity parties Fat kids are on my dick like hot bitches on Smarties

Hurt Feelings -

I got hurt feelings, I got hurt feelings They’re all lined up to watch that movie “Maid in Manhattan” Have you even been told that your ass is too big? Have you ever been asked if your hair is a wig? Have you ever been told you’re mediocre in bed? Have you ever been told you’ve got a weird-shaped head? Has your family ever forgotten you and driven away? Once again, they forgot about J Were you ever called “homo” ‘cuz at school you took drama? Have you ever been told that you look like a llama?

A Mask of My Own Face-

I'd wear it to a hoedown, and I'd dance with all the belles And none of them would know that I was secretly myself I'd rob my apartment and I wouldn't give a damn I'd blame it on the person that nobody knows I am I look into my eyeholes, what do I see? Look into my eyeholes, what do you see? I look into my eyeholes and what do I see? A handsome motherfucker motherfucking looking back at me

Tic Toc-

Big hand, little hand, no hand, slow hand Sitting in my hand is the sand of a shattered hour glass And I throw these grains of sand into the wind and laugh And I do not care just what they'll have to say about that Cuz the sand man told me, there's no use in listening

Critical Hit -

Let me simply tell you something: the living is good up on the top of the top-ten lists where I just stood. In my fist, where the disc should be brandished like a trophy, instead I'm holding onto the prize possession: self-loathing. And you know life's sweet if you can sing about that, like I rolled nat 20, double damage on the track. 

Spent Gladiator 2 -

Like a village on the steppe About to get collectivized When the men emerge with rifles from the haystack Everybody looks surprised Like the mice in the forgotten grain Way up on the top shelf Like someone who's found a small town to escape to Keeps one eye on his abandoned, former self

Crows 1 -

They piggy back the tombs of all your deadest friends and neighbors By the getty image, green-cheese moon Dead-of-winter shit, graveyard tchk! tchk! Shifter shit, brother was a face card Crown like a heart-shaped tunnel of woven branches leaning in over his hydro-plaining pace car chase... Wait up let me isolate the bass more

Pepper - (Violence ment)

I don't mind the sun sometimes, the images it shows I can taste you on my lips and smell you in my clothes Cinnamon and sugary and softly spoken lies You never know just how you look through other people's eyes

Sweet Dudes and Sweet Ladies -

tomorrow might be the day I die so I want, or rather must, confide all these things I did, or did not, try to hide. well, if boys are boys and girls are girls. then boys and girls are sometimes confused and I am confused most all the time.

Burn Fetish - (Rape ment.)

Tie me down till my sweet nothing's sour I screwed up trying to squeeze 65 minutes from an hour Outnumbered by such a large amount No wonder why we lost the battle, the counter-culture can't count

One More Time With Feeling -

You thought by now you'd be So much better than you are You thought by now they'd see That you had come so far

And the pride inside their eyes Would synchronized into a love you've never known So much more than you've been shown 

Proactive Evolution-

Feeling for an exit with Fingers stiff as branches Of a tiny bonsai birch Bark falling off in strips Leaving nude wood, white So bright in raw scar-glow Like a fresco angel, except Starved and deranged though And for an exit, trying Through blindness and time If I wasn't when I am

Small Red Boy -

I let my horns grow longer, I observed my skin get redder My soul became a hammer, I started to feel better My hatred turned to pity, my resentment blossomed flowers My bitter tasted candy, my misery was power The truth in me grew brighter, my nature and my nurture No more shame, no more fear, no more dread I am, I am, I am, I am the truth

Trouble -

I took a photograph of me When I was only nineteen I looked a little lost at sea I keep trying to find me

Bruh...- (Explicit)

I'm taking time to do it right, it's like a soda pour Cause we ain't loving all you bitches like we spoken for Damn, packing the van, wagging the man, cracking the ma'am Packing the stands, had them clapping they hands Tagging they Grams, Manhattan was ham Slapping the fans, playing having the plan Fans rapping the jams, sagging my pants You see the type of shit I do on the track? Hot shit, like I poop in the jacket Won't mack your bitch, but yo, I'm bout to come and mack your clique Your whole friend group fucking with Dick (no hetero)

[junker-town]

9 thoughts I had watching ‘Little Giants’ for the first time

Little Giants takes place in the fictional town of Urbania, Ohio, where everyone has strange food traditions. | Warner Brothers production / SB Nation illustration

This movie is great.

I just finished watching Little Giants for the first time, and I’ve got to say it’s an absolute delight. It spreads the message of teamwork and determination, but also the problem with boomers and rampant corn wastage.

If you haven’t seen the movie, lemme give you the elevator pitch: A team of “losers,” coached by a “loser,” band together to beat a team of “winners” in a game of pee-wee football. In the end, everyone learns that friendship and family is the real prize.

Watching as an adult for the first time, here are my thoughts!

Kevin is a sad, sad dude.

Kevin O’Shea (Ed O’Neill) is unquestionably the tragic figure in this film. A star football player, we’re never told what caused Kevin to flame out of the NFL. Everyone talks about his high school career and the fact he won the Heisman, but he obviously didn’t make an impact in the pros. Instead, he moved back to Urbania, Ohio, started a Chevrolet dealership, and exists in a local diner to keep reminding old dudes that he was a legend. Even they’re growing tired of his shtick.

Kevin is a joke to his family, annoys almost everyone around him, and he’s only regarded highly by his brother, Danny (Rick Moranis), and assistant pee-wee coach Harold Butz (Joe Bays). The movie positions him as this winner, which I’m sure resonated with kids watching the movie — but to me, I couldn’t reconcile the inescapable sadness of this dude. He literally has nothing to live for but coaching this pee-wee team to try and cling to his fading glory. I struggle to find anything in this world sadder than people who are in their 30s and 40s excitedly recalling high school stories because they have achieved so little of note in the 20 years since.

It’s OK to dislike Kevin, though, because he’s a sexist asshole. He decides not to pick Becky “Icebox” O’Shea (Shawna Waldron) to be a member of his team, only because she’s a girl. This is his own niece, and Icebox friggin’ owns. She’s better than every kid in town, but she doesn’t make the team because of gender.

“Danny, I hate to break it to you, but Icebox is a girl. Now, maybe if you’d start treating her like a girl, she’d start acting like one.”

Kevin’s wife, Karen, even confronts him at dinner about not picking Icebox and he doubles down on the decision. He’s aptly called a chauvinist, and then we get to the most disturbing moment of the movie.

WHY DOES THE O’SHEA FAMILY NEED SO MUCH CORN?!

At the 13:11 mark of the movie, we’re introduced to an ordinary, run-of-the-mill dinner scene. I’ll admit I’ve never had this kind of nuclear family, serving-dish dinner thing — but this is a mess nonetheless. Four people are at the table: Kevin, Karen, and their daughters, Debbie and Priscilla. Nobody else is expected, and there is no mention of this being a special occasion or gathering.

I stopped multiple times while watching to ensure the veracity of the corn count. The count is solid, the count is good. So why the hell did the O’Shea family prepare 11 ears of corn for dinner? It’s such an oddly specific number. Who goes to the store and is like “11 ears of corn, please”?

This entire dinner scene is a mess. They’re eating ham, turkey, corn, broccoli, salad, rolls, mashed potatoes — there are TWO gravy boats on the table. This is a Thanksgiving spread on a weeknight. No wonder boomers robbed this earth of all its natural resources and put humanity on the brink of extinction.

The unexpected monologue about infertility and miscarriage, in a children’s movie.

At 24:32, Cheryl Berman brings her son, Jake, to the garage for football practice. Jake, a hacking and wheezing nerd, is the son of a hypochondriac who spends A FULL 2 MINUTES explaining to Danny about how Jake was almost a miscarriage.

“You can’t be too cautious. After all, we never thought we’d have children. Not after trying for 13 years. It was me. When I finally did get pregnant, the doctor ordered me off to bed. I spent nine miserable months on my back. If I’d rolled over I could have lost him. And the birth ... God only knows the pain. He weighed only 1 pound, 11 ounces — he spent the first six weeks of his life in an incubator — and I think football is just the medicine for him.”

Hey Little Giants, YOU’RE A KIDS MOVIE. Was this supposed to pull adults in? You know there are so many ways you can establish Jake being a germ kid without his mom giving a damn monologue on how he almost died in the womb. Jesus.

The weirdest grocery store in the world.

In dire need of a quarterbacks, some kids find Junior (Devon Sawa) at a grocery store throwing rolls of toilet paper into a grocery cart. Certified dreamboat Junior is the focus of this scene, but I couldn’t concentrate because of this stores shelves.

How many egg noodles are the people of Urbania consuming? Now, if we’re to assume that Urbania is basically Urbana, Ohio, then the population is somewhere around 12,000. There are 456 visible units of egg noodles on the shelf as Icebox walks past.

I went to my local store in Greenville, NC — population 93,000. There were 30 packages of egg noodles on the shelf split across brands. This means that expected egg noodle consumption in Urbania is 119 times greater than Greenville.

They also need boatloads of vegetable oil and applesauce too, apparently.

The only inference I can make from this is that Oily Apple Noodles is the town dish.

The secret weapon is a roided up child monster.

We’re basically at the midpoint of the movie, and Kevin’s Cowboys are starting to get a little concerned with Danny’s Giants. After a “hilarious” scheme where Danny calls the cops and infers that his own brother is a child molester spying on the kids, both are trying to find an edge.

And yes, there’s a surprise waiting for both of them: Spike, an adult-sized running back who just arrived in town with a flat-top sporting dad who’s bred him into being a football machine through the time-honored tradition of being a horrible parent.

The first time we see Spike on screen, he’s carrying a refrigerator out of the back of a U-Haul and scowling the entire time. This is not a happy child, and yet Danny can’t wait to get him on the team — even lying to ensure it’s a possibility.

Naturally, this all unravels. Spike is too aggressive, can only speak in the third person, and threatens everyone. He is a demonstrably horrible human — and it’s not his fault.

Urbania, home of giant ice.

We’ve already established that this town has some weird food traditions, but it turns out this extends to ice too.

Look at the size of those cubes in Becky’s soda. What is up with this diner that you order a drink and get two whiskey cubes?

Everything in this town is strange.

Enter John Madden and friends.

The Little Giants are at a crossroads. Torn apart by Spike’s attitude, they decide football isn’t fun anymore and walk away from the game. Thankfully, in a stunning case of deus ex Maddena, John Madden and a group of football stars are taking the bus to Canton for a Hall of Fame banquet. Lost, and in dire need of directions, Madden and Co. decide helping a pee-wee football team is more important than their prior commitment and meet with the team.

It’s unclear exactly what the NFL players add to the Little Giants. We’ll get to this later.

Someone PLEASE help these kids understand human sexuality.

So we’ve established that Becky is head-over-heels for Junior. The two meet at the side of the lake and talk about kissing, in a scene designed to tease a potential love angle in the film. Then we get this, utterly baffling exchange.

Junior: You want to learn how to kiss!? Becky: Hey, we’re going to have to learn how to do it sooner or later. I mean, you know, if you want to have kids and get a job and stuff. Junior: You can have kids without kissing. Becky: Yeah, but you can’t get a job.

Oh God, there’s a lot to unpack here. No matter which way you slice it, these kids are woefully confused about what it takes to start a career. Maybe the job market in Urbania circa 1994 was different, but the idea that you can’t get a job without kids is some backwards-ass thinking if even I’ve seen it.

The Battle for Urbania.

With 37 minutes remaining, we finally get to the big game between the Cowboys and the Little Giants, taking place on the world’s nicest pee-wee football field. The Giants are without Icebox, because Becky has decided to be a cheerleader instead of a player in an effort to make Junior think of her more like a girl.

Icebox, if he doesn’t like you for playing football, he doesn’t deserve you.

There is literally nothing else to do in Urbania, because the almost entire town has shown up — and those who can’t be there can listen to it on the radio because there’s an actual radio announcer FOR A CHILD’S FOOTBALL GAME.

This announcer (Harry Shearer of The Simpsons fame) is super inappropriate too. After one of the Giants is kicked in the groin he says:

“Someone’s holding about a pound of Aunt Betty’s nut butter right now.”

SIR, YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT A CHILD!

The Giants get utterly demolished in the first half, and they want to quit. Danny delivers a motivational speech, telling his team that while they might not be better overall, you never know what can happen in a game. Maybe, just maybe they can beat the Cowboys — once. That’s all it takes.

Amped up and ready to go, we hit the second half and the Giants look like a different team. It’s at this point the Giants call the cruelest play in the history of football at any level. Johnny has been established as a fairly somber kid. All he wants is his dad to notice him, but his dad is always leaving on business. Sad woodwind music accompanies all his scenes, and it’s a tragic B plot in the movie.

Johnny gets the handoff and lo and behold, his dad is back and waiting in the end zone. It’s here where Becky yells: “Just run to him!” Yes, the Giants are leveraging Johnny’s feelings of inadequacy and loneliness to win. It’s tragic.

Johnny, Johnny? Yes, papa? Scoring touchdowns? Yes, papa Telling lies? No, papa I love you now. WAA WAA WAA

Finally, after its presence being teased all movie long, we finally get to see “The Annexation of Puerto Rico,” the trick play devised by Nubie (Matthew McCurley) that he discussed with Madden. It’s a hidden ball play with swelling music, and against the odds it works.

The Giants win, Danny is elated. Kevin is utterly devastated because not only did he lose the game and therefore his entire reason for existence, but he also bet his entire car dealership on the game because he’s an idiot.

Think about this for a second: All Kevin has in this life is football and his business. He just lost both. Payback for his sexism and corn wastage, in my opinion.

Danny, merciful as he is, says he doesn’t plan to take the business and asks if they want to coach together. The movie closes with the town water tower being repainted from honoring Kevin O’Shea to “The O’Shea Brothers,” because in Urbania winning a single pee-wee game is the equivalent to a Heisman career.

Final thoughts.

This is a good-ass kids sports movie that I’m angry I didn’t see before now. I 100 percent would have had a major crush on Icebox if I watched this as a kid, because she’s one of the greatest characters in any kid’s sport movie.

The best sports movies have characters you can identify with and make you feel like you’re in the movie. Shoutout to farting lineman Rudy Zolteck (Michael Zwiener) for making me feel like one of the gang.

I give Little Giants nine ears of corn out of 10 plates of Urbania Oily Apple Noodles.

[notarelationship]

A Crime Against Pizza (co-authored with @mshoneysucklepink)

From this prompt:  "Your pizza keeps getting delivered to my house by mistake and I need to talk to you about your choice of toppings AU" by @ashesinyourhair from the @dailyau. 

Rating: PG (for innuendo) Summary: Some people are very particular about their pizza. Warnings: Pineapple on pizza, orgasmic descriptions of pepperoni, egregiously overused italics, general idiocy. Stoner Brett. ~3100 words 

AO3

First this happened. Then this happened. Super thanks to @snarkyhag for the awesome beta.

--

The only saving grace about exam time, Blaine thought, was that somehow it made pizza taste even better. He wasn’t sure if it was some psychosomatic reaction or the perfect balance of protein, carbs, and fat traveling through his bloodstream straight to his brain - but it set off his reward center like nothing else. Except maybe a good orgasm (ideally brought on by something other than his own hand, thankyouverymuch).

The only problem was his roommate. Sam HATED Blaine’s preferred toppings of pineapple and ham, (“it’s fruit on pizza, Blaine, and fruit is healthy, it totally defeats the point of pizza being junk food! It makes it, I don’t know, less junky!”) Which was why he considered himself lucky that Sam had a nighttime photo shoot. Nothing was stopping him.

He dialed his favorite pizza place, telling himself he’d eat the leftovers for breakfast in the morning before Sam could bitch about it.

--

“Ouch!”

It was the fifth time Kurt had accidentally pricked himself with a pin while working on the partial costume that was barely holding together on the dress form. This was his final project for his Advanced Costume Design class, and it was about to look like a costume for Sweeney Todd instead of Hamilton (hmmm, maybe he could pass it off as from the “Battle of Yorktown?”). His vision was swimming in spite of all the coffee he’d ingested and...oh, he hadn’t eaten. That explained things; his blood sugar must have been off-balance.

He checked the fridge--nothing. He had been so busy with final assignments and living off bagels from the library coffee shop, he hadn’t gone grocery shopping and the fridge was only full of Rachel’s vegan friendly favorites. There were the kale chips she had bought on a whim, some tofu (ergh), and some homegrown kombucha from the farmer’s market that he was certain was becoming sentient. He briefly considered sauteeing up her seitan and vegetables into a stir fry, but he still had so much work to do and just the thought of cleaning up the kitchen afterward was more than he could bear.

He opened the drawer of menus and instantly salivated. He hadn’t had pizza with real cheese on it in months. Tonight not even Rachel Berry could stop him from getting his pineapple and pepperoni fix.

--

There was a reason the guys at Vanelli’s called their new delivery boy “Stoner Brett.”

Blaine was up and at the door before the delivery guy could even finish knocking.

“Uhhh, you order a,” the delivery boy who reeked of pot drawled, squinting at the label on the side, “a large pineapple?”

“Yeah, that’s me. Here you go,” Blaine said, handing over 25 dollars and taking the pizza box. “Keep the change.”

“Dude, cool,” Stoned Delivery Dude smiled and left. Blaine closed the door and went to set the pizza on the coffee table. He grabbed a plate, knife and fork from the kitchen, a handful of napkins (it was New York pizza) along with a soda from the fridge, and sat down to his mid-study reward.

“Mmm, come to papa,” Blaine moaned, as he opened the box.

And was immediately disgusted.

There was pepperoni on his pizza.

Now, Blaine understood that pepperoni was the most popular and stereotypically classic pizza topping. He figured it was an easy mistake to make. But it didn’t stop the queasy feeling they gave him. Little red nitrites, their edges crisped and curled up like the floors of Hell, their centers filled with a light yellow puddle of grease. Spicy little grease pools that dripped everywhere, and anyone who ever had to get grease stains out of polo shirts would empathize, he was sure. And with pineapple? No, just...no. The saltiness of the ham paired so well with sweet pineapple; slightly dry balanced with juicy bursts. But pineapple juice mixed with pepperoni grease?

Blaine would have cried if he weren’t so nauseous. And hungry.

He decided, maybe he could just delicately pick the pepperonis off? He picked up one, and gently attempted to pull it off the cheese...and the grease splashed back onto his shirt.

“GODDAMNIT.” He called Vanelli’s again, to try to get a replacement pie.

--

Kurt stomach growled and he looked up from his sewing and saw the time. It had been almost an hour since he’d ordered his pizza.

“Oh my god,” he mumbled to no one, reaching for his phone. He was just about to dial to find out where his food was when Rachel came noisily into the apartment.

“Kurt! You will never guess who I ran into tonight at yoga - Jesse St. James, from high school. You remember him?”

Kurt scowled. Yes, he remembered Jesse-St.James-from-high-school. He did not approve.

“Yes, but Vanelli’s never delivered my pizza so hang on; let me call them and you can tell me all about -”

The downstairs buzzer rang before Kurt could push the numbers. The caller ID’d himself as the pizza delivery guy so Kurt buzzed him up.

“I hope that’s the Vegan Double, Kurt, I am starving,” Rachel followed him to the door, standing behind him and looking skeptically at the delivery guy. Kurt didn’t recognize him, but he definitely recognized the slightly sour scent of streetcorner weed. He made a face and paid the guy, but he didn’t have the heart to skimp on his tip, even with the tardy delivery.

Kurt set the box on the dining table, “Rachel I didn’t order the vegan one,” Kurt said, opening the box. “You weren’t here so I opted for - not this.” Kurt stared at the pizza. It was almost right. He could have sworn he’d ordered pineapple and pepperoni, but that was definitely ham on the pie. Whatever, he shrugged to himself. Pork is pork.

“Gross.” He had almost forgotten Rachel was standing there. “I don’t know how you can eat that, Kurt. Those poor pigs, and all the milk for that cheese belongs to the baby cows -”

“Calves, Rachel. They’re called calves.” Kurt rolled his eyes.

Rachel sat across the table with her most judgmental look. “They are baby cows, Kurt.”

“Whatever Rachel. I am starving and I am eating this pizza,” he said. But he knew he’d give in, he always did. And usually he didn’t even mind. He liked eating healthier, he felt better, and it was good for his occasionally fluctuating weight (although that had been less of a problem as he’d gotten older). But sometimes he just wanted a real freaking pizza. “Go make yourself something.  I’ll stop at two slices and eat the rest tomorrow after my exam. I still have to finish up the project for my costume design class and then we can watch a movie and have popcorn with that vegan butter you like, okay?”

Rachel grinned. “That sounds like a perfect night Kurt. Thank you!”

--

After the pizza mixup from the other night, Blaine was hesitant about ordering from Vanelli’s again. They had brought him a new pie, with the proper toppings, and he left the other for Sam (who, as expected, picked the pineapple off and threw it in the trash, what kind of monster…). But they had ordered once after that and it turned out fine, though the last delivery person was different (and decidedly not high as a kite), and the order had been correct (however, with Sam home there would be no pineapple). Blaine assumed they had fired the stoner from before.

Blaine sighed with relief when he came in from his last exam. He had sent his final paper in earlier that day, and with that another school year was behind him. He had a couple of weeks until his summer internship started, and for now he felt like celebrating. As far as he was concerned there was no better way to celebrate than with his favorite pizza. With the biggest puppy eyes Blaine could muster, Sam bent to his will and let him pick the toppings (“but I’m totally picking the fruit off!” he said).

“You’re the one best friend that anyone could have,” Blaine sang at Sam, as he went to take a shower, leaving Sam to answer the door.

--

Less than a week after the ham pizza incident Kurt was buried under a History of Design project and two back-to-back finals, one for his Advanced Playwrights class and the other a monologue from The Tempest for his Shakespeare class that Kurt was finding to be a miserable bitch to memorize. The further he got into the monologue the worse he got.

It took him about fifteen more difficult minutes to realize that he hadn’t actually eaten since breakfast, and that was probably why his brain wasn’t putting words together in any proper order, much less the order William Shakespeare demanded.

As good as the ham and pineapple pizza had been, he was still craving his favorite pineapple with pepperoni. Ham was fine, but a ham and pineapple pizza was just so boring. Pepperoni was spicy and chewy, and Vanelli’s had that special way of cooking the pepperoni so that they curled up around the edges and the tasty grease pooled deliciously in the center of each slice, like tiny bowls of processed pork product soup.

“God yes,” Kurt moaned as he thumbed open his phone and called the shop.

--

“Blaine, pizza’s here!” Sam shouted.

Blaine came out of his room, barefoot and wearing a fresh shirt and pair of jeans, pressing the moisture out of his curls. “Great, I’m starving! Wait,” Blaine sniffed the air, then at Sam’s clothes, and got a strange sense of deja vu. “Why does it smell like a Phish concert in here?”

“Probably because the pizza dude was totally stoned out of his gourd,” Sam laughed, as he opened the box.

Blaine didn’t even need to see the pepperonis before he knew they were there. “Damn it. I gotta call them back, get them to send a non-stoner to bring us a new pizza.”

“Um, why don’t you just give it to this Hummel person?” Sam asked.

“What Hummel person?”

“The person whose pizza this is? I looked at the receipt on the side. They only live two floors above us.”

--

Forty-five minutes later there was a knock on his apartment door, which made no sense unless Rachel had forgotten her keys, because they had a buzzer and everyone in the building was careful about not letting in someone without keys. Kurt looked through the peephole in the door. There was a guy on the other side that Kurt thought he recognized as one of the two guys who lived downstairs. The two cute guys. They’d never exchanged more than a polite nod, and neither he nor Rachel had been able to figure out whether they were a couple or not.

Oh well, cute guys don’t randomly knock on my door every day, he thought, as he opened it. It was one of the cute guys - the one who usually used too much gel in his hair (though not tonight and ooh those curls were sexy) - and he was holding a pizza box.

“Hi, can I help you?”

Cute Guy scowled. “I believe this is yours?” He lifted the edge of the box and Kurt could see his perfect pepperoni and pineapple pizza inside.

Kurt grinned. “Oh wow, thank you!” He reached out and took the box. “But how did you -”

“Know it was you? Your apartment number was on the box.”

“Oh, duh, of course! Well, thank you, um…”

Cute Guy extended his hand. “My name’s Blaine....”

“...Kurt.”

Kurt juggled the box to his left so he could shake hands with his right, and when their hands touched there was a spark. Blaine sure did have the prettiest eyes Kurt had seen in a long time. Maybe in ever. He wondered if Blaine might like to share his pizza. Or possibly his bed. “Would you like to come in?”

--

“Um, okay.”

Blaine was all ready to be super judgemental about whoever this Hummel person was, because he was perfectly allowed to judge based on choice of pizza toppings alone. But when the door opened, he wasn’t expecting the hot guy from the mailboxes. Sam was always teasing him that he was having an imaginary affair with the guy he ran into when he was getting the mail (and he wasn’t wrong). He can’t believe he never registered which apartment was his.

“Thanks for bringing up my pizza. I swear they mess this up every time.” Come on Kurt, you can be flirty. “Can I get you a drink, or do you want to share a thank you slice?”

How could someone so gorgeous have such awful taste in pizza toppings? He hoped it didn’t show on his face.

“I just have to ask one thing,” Blaine said.

Kurt turned from setting the pizza box on a table, raising an eyebrow. “Yes?”

“Why pepperoni?”

Kurt’s mouth dropped open. “Um, why not pepperoni?”

Blaine cringed internally, because this guy was so cute and wrong about pizza but still cute with such a melodic voice. But he had to know, because pepperoni was gross.

“Excuse me, what’s so gross about it?” Oh damn, he said that out loud. Well, in for a penny...

“It’s just so highly processed, and the way it curls up, and the grease pops out of it and settles into these icky, oily pools -”

“Very delicious grease, I think you mean.”

“- and you can’t pick them off without getting the grease everywhere. They are a crime against pizza! And with pineapple? How can you ruin such a perfect, juicy, succulent fruit, that just bursts with sweetness in your mouth?”

Kurt could think of something he’d like to burst in his mouth, all right. “All true. And don’t forget the occasional flash of tart the pineapple sometimes supplies,” Kurt said. “I suppose you would pair your pineapple with ham?” Kurt’s voice had gotten higher at that, and Blaine thought he might have moved a bit closer. He may even have licked his lips.

“It’s only the best balanced companion to pineapple. The ham has that little bit of smoky dryness and salty tang that pineapple pairs so nicely with.”

“But it’s just ham. It is literally the topping most commonly paired with pineapple. It’s so, so -” don’t say boring Kurt, you’re still trying to impress this guy, “predictable.”  

“Predictable, huh?” Blaine said, and oh, he could watch Kurt’s lips purse around pronouncing words that start with “P” all night (even if one of them was “pepperoni”).

“Pepperoni is spicy, hot, it makes your mouth feel alive, Blaine. It - mmpf”

Blaine’s mouth was definitely alive, and it was living all over Kurt’s.

Kurt let out a squeak, but gripped Blaine’s shoulders, pulling him closer as they both settled into the kiss.

“Oh my god!” Blaine pulled away. “That was - I don’t know what that was. I am -”

“Do not say sorry.” Kurt pulled Blaine’s face with both hands and kissed him again, angling his head so their mouths slotted together, his tongue licking into Blaine’s mouth. Kurt pulled away when he finally needed air, and Blaine took a step backward. “Wow, um. Okay.”

They stood for a moment, evaluating each other.

“Would you like to stay for pizza?” Kurt asked, waving a hand backward toward his probably cold pie.

“No,” Blaine said.

“Oh. Well okay, I guess I read this wrong…”

Blaine panicked and grabbed Kurt by the arms. “No, I’m sorry, that’s not what I meant. I mean I won’t stay for that pizza. We can order another.”

“And, um, what should we do while we wait?”

Blaine gave him a sultry gaze. “I have some ideas.”

--

Three months later…

Blaine was sitting on the sofa reading through a magazine when the buzzer from the street went off.

“Hey babe, can you get that?” Kurt shouted from their bedroom. Their bedroom.

“Sure. Are we expecting someone?” Blaine pushed the buzzer. “Hello?”

“Delivery.” came the muddled voice through the tinny speaker.

“It’s a surprise!” Kurt sang from the other room.

They had only been living together for a few days, long enough to have most of Blaine’s things moved in while Kurt moved some of his out-of-season things to Rachel’s old room. It wasn’t like they even had that much stuff, it was just the act of combining their lives that made it seem like so much more.

It had seemed sudden to their friends, when Blaine moved into Kurt’s apartment, but with Rachel cast in a series shooting in Los Angeles and Sam moving back to Kentucky to be with his parents for a while, it had seemed like the obvious choice to both Blaine and Kurt.

“A surprise, huh?”

Blaine opened the door to find...Stoner Brett.

The pizza delivery guy. (They found out his name after another two misdelivered pizzas, and three calls to Vanelli’s. Everyone there called him that. It seemed fitting.)

“Hey, Sto--uh, Brett,” Blaine said.

“Yo, dude.” Brett looked confused a moment.  “Am I in the right place?”

Blaine laughed and fished money out of the jar by the door. “Yeah. I moved.”

“Woah. Cool.” He grinned and put up a fist for Blaine to bump.

Kurt came out of the bedroom as Blaine took the pizza. Brett looked even more confused. “Wow, dude, did you move too?”

“Um, no?” Kurt said, as Blaine put the pizza on the table. Brett stood for a moment, as if he wasn’t sure he was even in the right dimension, but eventually shuffled off without a word. Kurt brushed it off. “So, I thought to welcome you, we could have a compromise pizza!”

“Compromise, huh?”

“Yes,” Kurt said, as he wound his arms around Blaine’s waist. “Pineapple all over, but ham on one side for you, and pepperoni on the other side for me,” he punctuated with a wet kiss to Blaine’s lips.

“Aw, that’s so sweet!” Blaine cooed, as he leaned over and flipped open the box lid and… “Oh, you have got to be kidding me!”

They both stared into the box: the pizza had all the pineapple on only one side; the other side had the ham and pepperoni together.

“Well, we can’t blame Stoner Brett this time,” Kurt mused. “He only delivers them, he doesn’t make them.”

“So, what do you want to do?”

“Well, you know how I feel about pork, Blaine. Why settle for just ham and pepperoni when I can have sausage here at home?” He gave Blaine’s ass a squeeze and led them back to the bedroom.

That pie went cold. From then on they started ordering their pizza from Jimmy’s Famous instead.

[authoratmidnight]

Arc V Episode 141 Translated Script

Script and Translation from DMC3444 on NAC

Meanwhile, back in Standard. . .

Last Time’s Egao Count: 257

Yuzu: I became stronger because of you! I was able to keep smiling! (Egao Count: 257+1=258) Respond to them, Yuya! Respond to your friends’ feelings! Let’s go back to our hometown together after this! Reiji: All right! It’s the last turn, Yuya! Yusho: If you let fear take hold of you, you won’t be able to do anything. If you want to win, you must be brave… Yuya: …and step forward! Yuya: It’s my turn! I activate the Quick-Play Magic, Smile Universe! (Egao Count: 258+1=259) I can Special Summon as many Pendulum Monsters as possible from the Extra Deck, with their Monster Effects negated! GONGENZAKA: Supreme Dragon King has revived! SAWATARI-SAN: Then, he’s not Yuya!? Zarc: Pendulum Monsters are indestructible! No matter how many times they are destroyed, they will revive! Yuya: I won’t allow that! I will put an end to this! Zarc: W-What are you doing!? S-Stop it! Yuya: I’ve made up my mind! I won’t ever become a demon again! Now’s your chance! Do it! Reira! Reira: Using En Flowers’s effect, I can negate the effects of all monsters on the Field, And destroy them! And for every monster sent to the Graveyard, the owner will receive 600 damage! Zarc: Damn you…! I’ll definitely retur— Leo: The world is breaking into four again! Reiji: Zarc will be reincarnated in the four dimensions again, and the same things will repeat! Reira: I won’t let it happen again! I will seal Zarc away! Zarc: AAAAAHHHHHHHHHH! Reira: AAAAAHHHHHHHHHH! Yuya: Reira? REIRAAAAAAA! Narrator: Action Duel was born from the realization of Solid Vision with mass. This kind of Duel is one where the Field, monsters, and Duelists become one, And sends the audience into a storm of excitement. (Opening Sequence) Yuya: AAAHHHH! I overslept! Yoko: Why are you getting so worked up? Today is Sunday. You don’t have to go to school, you know? Yuya: I have a Duel at You Show School! I can’t miss the principal’s hot-blooded coaching! Yoko: AH! Look at the mess you’re making! You can’t just eat and talk at the same time! Yuya: See you later! Yuya: I’ve made it on time! AAAHHH! Yuya: Hey! What was that for!? Shuzo: You’re not on time! You’re three minutes late! Yuya: Oh, come on! It’s just three minutes! Ayu: That’s no good! Ayu: The principal’s hot-blooded coaching has already begun, you know! Yuya: By the way, what is that? Shuzo: Oh, this thing? Isn’t it that thing…? You know, the usual… Huh? Now that you mentioned it, why is this thing here? Futoshi: Whoa, Big Bro Yuya! Those boots are pretty cool! Yuya: HeHe! Aren’t they!? Futoshi: I’m getting shivers! Tatsuya: Where did you buy them? Yuya: I didn’t buy them. Someone gave them to me. Ayu: Who is it? Yuya: Hah? Well, it’s…Huh? Ayu: Heh!? You forgot who gave them to you? You’re awful! Futoshi: True that. Tatsuya: Yup, yup. Shuzo: HEY! How long are you planning to keep chattering!? It’s time for Dueling! So, get to it! Kids: He’s so scary! Shuzo: Hmm… Yuya: Well then, Let’s have an unorthodox 1 vs 3 Duel today! I’ll take on all of you at the same time, So come at me in whichever order you want! Shuzo: Listen, Yuya! Senior Sakaki, the peerless entertainer whose name graced our You Show School, Is still spreading Entertainment Dueling to the world even to this day! Shuzo: You must become a great Pro Duelist just like my senior as soon as possible! Field Magic, Plain Plain, activate! Yuya: Duelists gathered in the hall of battle… Futoshi: …Kicking against the earth and dancing in the air alongside their monsters… Ayu: …As they storm through the Field! Tatsuya: Behold! This is the greatest evolution of Dueling! Yuya: Action… DUEL! Yuya: I’ll start! Using the Scale-1 Stargazer Magician and the Scale-8 Timegazer Magician in my hand, I set the Pendulum Scales! With this, I can simultaneously summon monsters between Level-2 and 7! Swing, Pendulum of the Soul! Draw an arc of light across the ether! Pendulum Summon! Come forth! My monsters! Entermate Sword Fish! Entermate Whip Viper! And lastly, the one who bears heroic and beautiful dual-colored eyes! Odd-Eyes Pendulum Dragon! Yuya: I end my turn! Tatsuya: It’s my turn! Draw! Using the Scale-1 Bunborg 008 and the Scale-10 Bunborg 007, I set the Pendulum Scales! With this, I can simultaneously summon monsters between Level-2 and 9! Pendulum Summon! Bunborg 005! And Bunborg 006! Himika: Pendulum Dimension? Reiji: Yes. This world used to be the Standard Dimension, but it has been reborn as the Pendulum Dimension. Anyone can perform Pendulum Summon… Reiji: …Ever since that day… Himika: And that child is… Reiji: I’ve already taken measures. There’s no need to worry, Mother. Yuya: It’s my turn! Shuzo: All right! This is where the real fight begins, Yuya! Huh? Shuzo: What is it? WHAT!??? Yuya: Ladies and gentlemen! Huh? AAAAHHHHHHH! Yuya: Ouch… Shuzo: Yuya! BIG NEWS! Here! Look at this! Yuya: This is from LDS…! Shuzo: Exactly! It’s an invitation to the Junior Youth Championship! If you win this, you can advance to the Youth class! You’ll be one step closer to becoming a Pro Duelist! Tatsuya: That’s amazing, Big Bro Yuya! Futoshi: SHIVEERSSSSSSS! Shuzo: What are you waiting for, Yuya!? Shuzo: Come on! Go to LDS already! Yuya: Right! I’m going! Receptionist: Okay. All the paperwork is done. Good luck, Sakaki Yuya-kun. Yuya: Ah, sure! Thank you very much! GONGENZAKA: Yuya! I knew you’d receive an invitation to the Junior Youth Championship as well! Yuya: Gongenzaka! SAWATARI-SAN: Well, well, you two are here, too! GONGENZAKA: Sawatari! Yuya: You actually got an invitation as well!? SAWATARI-SAN: Why the hell are you so shocked!? Of course I got invited! I have the perfectest grades at LDS, and my father is gonna be the next mayor! I’m the chosen one after all! The Super Ultra Hyper Strong Duelist… Yuya/GONG: Akaba Reiji! SAWATARI-SAN: Yup! Akaba Reiji! Wait, what!? Reiji: You’re all here, it seems. To start off the Junior Youth Championship, I’ll have you all Duel each other. Reiji: It will be a Battle Royal within Maiami City. Yuya: Battle Royale!? (ZETSUBOU commercial. Brb) Nico: Everyone! The wait is over! The Junior Youth Championship will soon commence! Nico: Let’s introduce our four participants! Heh? Just four!? Hmm…It’s true, after all. Well then, once again, let’s introduce them! First off, from You Show School: Sakaki Yuya! Next up, from Gongenzaka Dojo: Gongenzaka Noboru! Then, from Leo Duel School: Sawatari Shingo! Ayu: What’s up with that… Nico: And the last participant is… Eh…S-Secret!? Well then, the match will… Ayu: By the way, where is the principal? Tatsuya: He said that he has something else on his mind… Yoko: What’s up with him!? Today is supposed to be Yuya’s big day! Sheesh. What exactly does he have on his mind!? Tatsuya: You’re asking me? Futoshi: Looks like it’s about to start! Nico: All right! The participants are all in their positions! Well then, let’s start this Battle Royale! Field Magic, Wonder Quartet, activate! Yuya: This sensation… It seems familiar somehow… SAWATARI-SAN: Hey, he said there’s four participants, right? Yuya: Yeah. SAWATARI-SAN: But there’s only three of us here. GONGENZAKA: Tardiness is simply inexcusable! Tsukikage: If you’re looking for me, I’m right here! Tsukikage: I am Tsukikage of the Fuuma clan! Yuya: Tsukikage? SAWATARI-SAN: All right, all the players have been assembled! SAWATARI-SAN: Winning this Duel is gonna be a piece of cake for me! Yuya: Heh? GONGENZAKA: Yuya! I, the manly Gongenzaka, will not hold back! Fight me with everything you’ve got! Yuya: Sure thing! I’ll do just that! I’ll show you the greatest Entertainment Duel ever! Nico: Duelists gathered in the hall of battle… …Kicking against the earth and dancing in the air alongside their monsters… …As they storm through the Field! Behold! This is the greatest evolution of Dueling! Action… DUEL! Yuya: Let’s do this! I’m going first! I summon Entermate Discover Hippo from my hand! Yuya: I set two cards face-down, and end my turn! Let’s go, Hippo! Nico: Sakaki Yuya has made the first move! Nico: After declaring the end of his turn, he jumps onto his monster and runs around the Field using it! Since Sakaki specializes in using Action Cards… Shuzo: I feel like I’ve seen this before… But just what is it? A tangerine? No… It’s something else… SAWATARI-SAN: All righty! It’s my turn next! Draw! I summon Abyss Actor - Curtain Raiser from my hand! SAWATARI-SAN: Battle! I attack Discover Hippo with Abyss Actor - Curtain Raiser! I then activate Curtain Raiser’s Monster Effect! When Curtain Raiser is the only card on my Field, During damage calculation only, its ATK will be doubled! Yuya: Hippo! Did you find one? Let’s go! Yuya: Action Magic, Evasion! Rolling Hippo! SAWATARI-SAN: Damn it… I set one card face-down, and end my turn! GONGENZAKA: Next up is me! Draw! I summon Superheavy Samurai Flutist from my hand! Flutist’s Monster Effect activates! I can release it, and Special Summon Superheavy Samurai Big Benkei from my hand in Defense Position! Big Benkei can attack while it is in Defense Position! Battle! I attack Discover Hippo with Big Benkei! Yuya: Quick-Play Magic, Hippo Carnival, activate! I can Special Summon three Hippo Tokens in Defense Position! The opposing monsters can only attack the Hippo Tokens! GONGENZAKA: Hmph! Not bad, Yuya. I end my turn! Now then, the next participant is… Tsukikage: All of you! Remember! The tournament that we once fought in! The Maiami Championship! Yuya: Maiami… GONGENZAKA: Champion… SAWATARI-SAN: …ship? Random Lady: Maiami Championship? Random Dude: We did have one, didn’t we? Tatsuya: That’s right. Why did we forget it? Futoshi: Yeah. I remember that it gave me a lot of shivers! Yoko: That’s right! Mitchie was in it! Mitchie was there! Ayu: That’s what you remember? Nico: I remember as well! I was providing live coverage for it… Is this what they call déjà vu!? SAWATARI-SAN: That’s right! In the first round of the Maiami Championship, I fought a fierce battle against Sakaki Yuya, Conducted an excellent Entertainment Duel, and got the audience fired up. But I still lost. Yuya: I remember as well… I’m sure I’ve been to this Field before… Shiun’in Sora… His opponent in the Duel was…Tsukikage? Tsukikage: It was Hikage. He’s my elder brother. SAWATARI-SAN: I remember this Field as well. But why did I participate in the Battle Royale when I lost in the first round? GONGENZAKA: You returned because you got a second chance! SAWATARI-SAN: That’s right! Akaba Reiji approved of it, and gave me a second chance, so that I can fight against the Obelisk Force! GONGENZAKA: The Obelisk Force is an elite unit under the direct control of the leader of Duel Academia, Akaba Leo, who aims to fuse the dimensions together. SAWATARI-SAN: Akaba Leo is Akaba Reiji’s father, right? GONGENZAKA: We fought against the Obelisk Force with Kurosaki and others. Yuya: Kurosaki!? Yuya: That’s right… The real purpose of the Maiami Championship is to assemble a group of Duelists called the Lancers in order to fight against Academia, who used Dueling as a weapon to invade other dimensions. Tsukikage: Indeed. That is what happened. Reiji: That’s it. Keep it up, Tsukikage. Continue the Duel. No need to go easy on them, either. Tsukikage: As you wish! Here I come! It’s my turn! Himika: Reiji-san. Is this really going to work? Can this Duel really bring back that child’s… Reira’s smile? (Egao Count: 259+1=260) Reiji: Of course. The only one who can bring back Reira’s smile is Sakaki Yuya. (Egao Count: 260+1=261) However, in order to accomplish that… Yusho: Yuya needs to climb over a big barrier. Tsukikage: Using the Scale-1 Twilight Ninja Jogen and the Scale-10 Twilight Ninja Kagen, I set the Pendulum Scales! With this, I can simultaneously summon monsters between Level-2 and 9! Pendulum Summon! Come! Twilight Ninja Shingetsu! And Twilight Ninja Shogun Getsuga! Tsukikage: From my hand, I activate the Continuous Magic, Illusion Ninjitsu - Hazy Shuriken! Battle! I attack Hippo Token with Shingetsu! Yuya: Hippo! Yuya: All right! I’ll be taking this! HUH!? Tsukikage: Not on my watch! When a card is added to my hand, I can activate the effect of the Continuous Magic, Hazy Shuriken! I send this card to the Graveyard, And inflict 300 damage to the opposing player! Tsukikage: At this moment, Jogen’s Pendulum Effect activates! Once per turn, when a Ninja on my Field attacks a Defense Position monster, it can inflict piercing damage! GONGENZAKA: Hippo Token’s DEF is zero. Shingetsu’s ATK is 1500. SAWATARI-SAN: That’ll be 1500 damage. Yuya: AAAAHHHHHHH! Ayu: Hang in there, Big Bro Yuya! Reiji: Don’t hold back, Tsukikage! Give Sakaki Yuya a thorough beatdown! Himika: Reiji-san! If you do that, that child will… Yusho: If he is defeated just like that, then he’s still not that good as a Duelist. Reiji: Mother. I’ll apologize in advance, but should he lose, you’ll have to give up on Reira’s smile. (Egao Count: 261+1=262) Himika: *gasps* Tsukikage: My turn is still not over yet! Kagen’s Pendulum Effect activates! It gains the Pendulum Effect of the Jogen in the Pendulum Zone! Yuya: Jogen’s effect!? Then, he’s going to inflict piercing damage again!? Tsukikage: Battle! I attack Hippo Token with Getsuga! Yuya: Getsuga’s ATK is 2000! GONGENZAKA: Hence, the amount of piercing damage will be 2000. SAWATARI-SAN: However, Yuya’s Life Point is 2200. He’ll survive. Tsukikage: Kagen’s second effect activates! Once per turn, when my Ninja monster attacks, it will gain 500 ATK! Yuya: What!? Nico: Whoa! If this attack goes through, his Life will hit zero! Is Yuya going to lose this early in the game!?

[the-sayuri-rin]

Believe, Believe,electric buddi-wait a minute. .........what the F*uck we doing?

Credit to :DMC 3444

Last Time’s Egao Count: 257

Yuzu: I became stronger because of you! I was able to keep smiling! (Egao Count: 257+1=258) Respond to them, Yuya! Respond to your friends’ feelings! Let’s go back to our hometown together after this!

Reiji: All right! It’s the last turn, Yuya!

Yusho: If you let fear take hold of you, you won’t be able to do anything. If you want to win, you must be brave…

Yuya: …and step forward!

Yuya: It’s my turn! I activate the Quick-Play Magic, Smile Universe! (Egao Count: 258+1=259) I can Special Summon as many Pendulum Monsters as possible from the Extra Deck, with their Monster Effects negated!

GONGENZAKA: Supreme Dragon King has revived!

SAWATARI-SAN: Then, he’s not Yuya!?

Zarc: Pendulum Monsters are indestructible! No matter how many times they are destroyed, they will revive!

Yuya: I won’t allow that! I will put an end to this!

Zarc: W-What are you doing!? S-Stop it!

Yuya: I’ve made up my mind! I won’t ever become a demon again! Now’s your chance! Do it! Reira!

Reira: Using En Flowers’s effect, I can negate the effects of all monsters on the Field, And destroy them! And for every monster sent to the Graveyard, the owner will receive 600 damage!

Zarc: Damn you…! I’ll definitely retur—

Leo: The world is breaking into four again!

Reiji: Zarc will be reincarnated in the four dimensions again, and the same things will repeat!

Reira: I won’t let it happen again! I will seal Zarc away!

Zarc: AAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!

Reira: AAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!

Yuya: Reira? REIRAAAAAAA!

Narrator: Action Duel was born from the realization of Solid Vision with mass. This kind of Duel is one where the Field, monsters, and Duelists become one, And sends the audience into a storm of excitement.

(Opening Sequence)

Yuya: AAAHHHH! I overslept!

Yoko: Why are you getting so worked up? Today is Sunday. You don’t have to go to school, you know?

Yuya: I have a Duel at You Show School! I can’t miss the principal’s hot-blooded coaching!

Yoko: AH! Look at the mess you’re making! You can’t just eat and talk at the same time!

Yuya: See you later!

Yuya: I’ve made it on time! AAAHHH!

Yuya: Hey! What was that for!?

Shuzo: You’re not on time! You’re three minutes late!

Yuya: Oh, come on! It’s just three minutes!

Ayu: That’s no good!

Ayu: The principal’s hot-blooded coaching has already begun, you know!

Yuya: By the way, what is that?

Shuzo: Oh, this thing? Isn’t it that thing…? You know, the usual… Huh? Now that you mentioned it, why is this thing here?

Futoshi: Whoa, Big Bro Yuya! Those boots are pretty cool!

Yuya: HeHe! Aren’t they!?

Futoshi: I’m getting shivers!

Tatsuya: Where did you buy them?

Yuya: I didn’t buy them. Someone gave them to me.

Ayu: Who is it?

Yuya: Hah? Well, it’s…Huh?

Ayu: Heh!? You forgot who gave them to you? You’re awful!

Futoshi: True that.

Tatsuya: Yup, yup.

Shuzo: HEY! How long are you planning to keep chattering!? It’s time for Dueling! So, get to it!

Kids: He’s so scary!

Shuzo: Hmm…

Yuya: Well then, Let’s have an unorthodox 1 vs 3 Duel today! I’ll take on all of you at the same time, So come at me in whichever order you want!

Shuzo: Listen, Yuya! Senior Sakaki, the peerless entertainer whose name graced our You Show School, Is still spreading Entertainment Dueling to the world even to this day!

Shuzo: You must become a great Pro Duelist just like my senior as soon as possible! Field Magic, Plain Plain, activate!

Yuya: Duelists gathered in the hall of battle…

Futoshi: …Kicking against the earth and dancing in the air alongside their monsters…

Ayu: …As they storm through the Field!

Tatsuya: Behold! This is the greatest evolution of Dueling!

Yuya: Action…

DUEL!

Yuya: I’ll start! Using the Scale-1 Stargazer Magician and the Scale-8 Timegazer Magician in my hand, I set the Pendulum Scales! With this, I can simultaneously summon monsters between Level-2 and 7! Swing, Pendulum of the Soul! Draw an arc of light across the ether! Pendulum Summon! Come forth! My monsters! Entermate Sword Fish! Entermate Whip Viper! And lastly, the one who bears heroic and beautiful dual-colored eyes! Odd-Eyes Pendulum Dragon!

Yuya: I end my turn!

Tatsuya: It’s my turn! Draw! Using the Scale-1 Bunborg 008 and the Scale-10 Bunborg 007, I set the Pendulum Scales! With this, I can simultaneously summon monsters between Level-2 and 9! Pendulum Summon! Bunborg 005! And Bunborg 006!

Himika: Pendulum Dimension?

Reiji: Yes. This world used to be the Standard Dimension, but it has been reborn as the Pendulum Dimension. Anyone can perform Pendulum Summon…

Reiji: …Ever since that day…

Himika: And that child is…

Reiji: I’ve already taken measures. There’s no need to worry, Mother.

Yuya: It’s my turn!

Shuzo: All right! This is where the real fight begins, Yuya! Huh?

Shuzo: What is it? WHAT!???

Yuya: Ladies and gentlemen! Huh? AAAAHHHHHHH!

Yuya: Ouch…

Shuzo: Yuya! BIG NEWS! Here! Look at this!

Yuya: This is from LDS…!

Shuzo: Exactly! It’s an invitation to the Junior Youth Championship! If you win this, you can advance to the Youth class! You’ll be one step closer to becoming a Pro Duelist!

Tatsuya: That’s amazing, Big Bro Yuya!

Futoshi: SHIVEERSSSSSSS!

Shuzo: What are you waiting for, Yuya!?

Shuzo: Come on! Go to LDS already!

Yuya: Right! I’m going!

Receptionist: Okay. All the paperwork is done. Good luck, Sakaki Yuya-kun.

Yuya: Ah, sure! Thank you very much!

GONGENZAKA: Yuya! I knew you’d receive an invitation to the Junior Youth Championship as well!

Yuya: Gongenzaka!

SAWATARI-SAN: Well, well, you two are here, too!

GONGENZAKA: Sawatari!

Yuya: You actually got an invitation as well!?

SAWATARI-SAN: Why the hell are you so shocked!? Of course I got invited! I have the perfectest grades at LDS, and my father is gonna be the next mayor! I’m the chosen one after all! The Super Ultra Hyper Strong Duelist…

Yuya/GONG: Akaba Reiji!

SAWATARI-SAN: Yup! Akaba Reiji! Wait, what!?

Reiji: You’re all here, it seems. To start off the Junior Youth Championship, I’ll have you all Duel each other.

Reiji: It will be a Battle Royal within Maiami City.

Yuya: Battle Royale!?

(ZETSUBOU commercial. Brb)

Nico: Everyone! The wait is over! The Junior Youth Championship will soon commence!

Nico: Let’s introduce our four participants! Heh? Just four!? Hmm…It’s true, after all. Well then, once again, let’s introduce them! First off, from You Show School: Sakaki Yuya! Next up, from Gongenzaka Dojo: Gongenzaka Noboru! Then, from Leo Duel School: Sawatari Shingo!

Ayu: What’s up with that…

Nico: And the last participant is… Eh…S-Secret!? Well then, the match will…

Ayu: By the way, where is the principal?

Tatsuya: He said that he has something else on his mind…

Yoko: What’s up with him!? Today is supposed to be Yuya’s big day! Sheesh. What exactly does he have on his mind!?

Tatsuya: You’re asking me?

Futoshi: Looks like it’s about to start!

Nico: All right! The participants are all in their positions! Well then, let’s start this Battle Royale! Field Magic, Wonder Quartet, activate!

Yuya: This sensation… It seems familiar somehow…

SAWATARI-SAN: Hey, he said there’s four participants, right?

Yuya: Yeah.

SAWATARI-SAN: But there’s only three of us here.

GONGENZAKA: Tardiness is simply inexcusable!

Tsukikage: If you’re looking for me, I’m right here!

Tsukikage: I am Tsukikage of the Fuuma clan!

Yuya: Tsukikage?

SAWATARI-SAN: All right, all the players have been assembled!

SAWATARI-SAN: Winning this Duel is gonna be a piece of cake for me!

Yuya: Heh?

GONGENZAKA: Yuya! I, the manly Gongenzaka, will not hold back! Fight me with everything you’ve got!

Yuya: Sure thing! I’ll do just that! I’ll show you the greatest Entertainment Duel ever!

Nico: Duelists gathered in the hall of battle… …Kicking against the earth and dancing in the air alongside their monsters… …As they storm through the Field! Behold! This is the greatest evolution of Dueling! Action…

DUEL!

Yuya: Let’s do this! I’m going first! I summon Entermate Discover Hippo from my hand!

Yuya: I set two cards face-down, and end my turn! Let’s go, Hippo!

Nico: Sakaki Yuya has made the first move!

Nico: After declaring the end of his turn, he jumps onto his monster and runs around the Field using it! Since Sakaki specializes in using Action Cards…

Shuzo: I feel like I’ve seen this before… But just what is it? A tangerine? No… It’s something else…

SAWATARI-SAN: All righty! It’s my turn next! Draw! I summon Abyss Actor - Curtain Raiser from my hand!

SAWATARI-SAN: Battle! I attack Discover Hippo with Abyss Actor - Curtain Raiser! I then activate Curtain Raiser’s Monster Effect! When Curtain Raiser is the only card on my Field, During damage calculation only, its ATK will be doubled!

Yuya: Hippo! Did you find one? Let’s go!

Yuya: Action Magic, Evasion! Rolling Hippo!

SAWATARI-SAN: Damn it… I set one card face-down, and end my turn!

GONGENZAKA: Next up is me! Draw! I summon Superheavy Samurai Flutist from my hand! Flutist’s Monster Effect activates! I can release it, and Special Summon Superheavy Samurai Big Benkei from my hand in Defense Position! Big Benkei can attack while it is in Defense Position! Battle! I attack Discover Hippo with Big Benkei!

Yuya: Quick-Play Magic, Hippo Carnival, activate! I can Special Summon three Hippo Tokens in Defense Position! The opposing monsters can only attack the Hippo Tokens!

GONGENZAKA: Hmph! Not bad, Yuya. I end my turn! Now then, the next participant is…

Tsukikage: All of you! Remember! The tournament that we once fought in! The Maiami Championship!

Yuya: Maiami…

GONGENZAKA: Champion…

SAWATARI-SAN: …ship?

Random Lady: Maiami Championship?

Random Dude: We did have one, didn’t we?

Tatsuya: That’s right. Why did we forget it?

Futoshi: Yeah. I remember that it gave me a lot of shivers!

Yoko: That’s right! Mitchie was in it! Mitchie was there!

Ayu: That’s what you remember?

Nico: I remember as well! I was providing live coverage for it… Is this what they call déjà vu!?

SAWATARI-SAN: That’s right! In the first round of the Maiami Championship, I fought a fierce battle against Sakaki Yuya, Conducted an excellent Entertainment Duel, and got the audience fired up. But I still lost.

Yuya: I remember as well… I’m sure I’ve been to this Field before… Shiun’in Sora… His opponent in the Duel was…Tsukikage?

Tsukikage: It was Hikage. He’s my elder brother.

SAWATARI-SAN: I remember this Field as well. But why did I participate in the Battle Royale when I lost in the first round?

GONGENZAKA: You returned because you got a second chance!

SAWATARI-SAN: That’s right! Akaba Reiji approved of it, and gave me a second chance, so that I can fight against the Obelisk Force!

GONGENZAKA: The Obelisk Force is an elite unit under the direct control of the leader of Duel Academia, Akaba Leo, who aims to fuse the dimensions together.

SAWATARI-SAN: Akaba Leo is Akaba Reiji’s father, right?

GONGENZAKA: We fought against the Obelisk Force with Kurosaki and others.

Yuya: Kurosaki!?

Yuya: That’s right… The real purpose of the Maiami Championship is to assemble a group of Duelists called the Lancers in order to fight against Academia, who used Dueling as a weapon to invade other dimensions.

Tsukikage: Indeed. That is what happened.

Reiji: That’s it. Keep it up, Tsukikage. Continue the Duel. No need to go easy on them, either.

Tsukikage: As you wish! Here I come! It’s my turn!

Himika: Reiji-san. Is this really going to work? Can this Duel really bring back that child’s… Reira’s smile? (Egao Count: 259+1=260)

Reiji: Of course. The only one who can bring back Reira’s smile is Sakaki Yuya. (Egao Count: 260+1=261) However, in order to accomplish that…

Yusho: Yuya needs to climb over a big barrier.

Tsukikage: Using the Scale-1 Twilight Ninja Jogen and the Scale-10 Twilight Ninja Kagen, I set the Pendulum Scales! With this, I can simultaneously summon monsters between Level-2 and 9! Pendulum Summon! Come! Twilight Ninja Shingetsu! And Twilight Ninja Shogun Getsuga!

Tsukikage: From my hand, I activate the Continuous Magic, Illusion Ninjitsu - Hazy Shuriken! Battle! I attack Hippo Token with Shingetsu!

Yuya: Hippo!

Yuya: All right! I’ll be taking this! HUH!?

Tsukikage: Not on my watch! When a card is added to my hand, I can activate the effect of the Continuous Magic, Hazy Shuriken! I send this card to the Graveyard, And inflict 300 damage to the opposing player!

Tsukikage: At this moment, Jogen’s Pendulum Effect activates! Once per turn, when a Ninja on my Field attacks a Defense Position monster, it can inflict piercing damage!

GONGENZAKA: Hippo Token’s DEF is zero. Shingetsu’s ATK is 1500.

SAWATARI-SAN: That’ll be 1500 damage.

Yuya: AAAAHHHHHHH!

Ayu: Hang in there, Big Bro Yuya!

Reiji: Don’t hold back, Tsukikage! Give Sakaki Yuya a thorough beatdown!

Himika: Reiji-san! If you do that, that child will…

Yusho: If he is defeated just like that, then he’s still not that good as a Duelist.

Reiji: Mother. I’ll apologize in advance, but should he lose, you’ll have to give up on Reira’s smile. (Egao Count: 261+1=262)

Himika: *gasps*

Tsukikage: My turn is still not over yet! Kagen’s Pendulum Effect activates! It gains the Pendulum Effect of the Jogen in the Pendulum Zone!

Yuya: Jogen’s effect!? Then, he’s going to inflict piercing damage again!?

Tsukikage: Battle! I attack Hippo Token with Getsuga!

Yuya: Getsuga’s ATK is 2000!

GONGENZAKA: Hence, the amount of piercing damage will be 2000.

SAWATARI-SAN: However, Yuya’s Life Point is 2200. He’ll survive.

Tsukikage: Kagen’s second effect activates! Once per turn, when my Ninja monster attacks, it will gain 500 ATK!

Yuya: What!?

Nico: Whoa! If this attack goes through, his Life will hit zero! Is Yuya going to lose this early in the game!?