#dude my whole world is changing right now i cant take it

[pankomako]

WAIT DAN'S DATING SOMEONE??? SINCE WHEN????

[babeyun]

fallin alone. oh. my. god.

i cant believe the greatest fucking fic of the year dropped on 21st of december, but here we are. impeccable timing 

first of all, i have been waiting for this forever and the fact that i got to finally read it is such a blessing, it was so so so worth the wait, i cant stress this enough

there wasnt a thing that i didnt enjoy while i was reading this masterpiece, the fact that it got my little heart aching but also beating a bit faster is a enough of a proof of how amazing it was!

i loved loved how both, hees and yns, character were in a way equally shining here and the dynamics of their ups and downs in these rough paths of their relationship were written so so well, im speechless.

im so glad, hee figured his shit out, im so happy with how everything turned out, dont even get me fucking started on the whole cold case - this was such great driving force of the fic!! im amazed and endlessly impressed!

the sex scenes hit and felt so natural? i suppose what i mean by that is when i read them they flowed so perfectly into the plot, and my goodness, this hopeless heeseung was very hot to me, the definition of the man that is nothing without his wife, loved to see it

the ending with them falling again and renewing the vows, dare i say my eyes teared up a bit goshhh it was beautiful !!

what can i say, the best fic ive read this year im so serious, made me glad im alive, youre an incredible writer and this was just a pleasure to read, im gonna for sure reread this and probably be in awe as if it was my first time reading it!!! masterpiece!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

and also, thank u thank YOU, for sharing this with us on here, it was an honor to be able to read it !!!!  

wishing u all the best sweetheart, happy holidays, stay warm, love youuuuu!!!!!!!

oh my…hello anon.

i’m just gonna let you know right now, i am SOBBING. ugly cry with snot and wailing 😭

thank YOU so much for your incredible patience and your incredibly kind words. i cannot express enough how much your kindness means to me, especially with the year that i’ve had and the things that have impacted me.

i’m glad you enjoyed it! i tried so hard to make them both characters with redeemable qualities and i wanted so badly for both of them to be seen as one but also individuals with their own issues. not everything falls on heeseung but not all of it can fall on y/n, you know?

dude the sex scenes stressed me OUTTTT 😭 i was in my best friend’s face asking “should i change this?” or “what about this? maybe a different position?” i just KNAUR she was sick of my ass fr…but writing their intimate dynamics was very fun, i wanted to convey this idea that heeseung is just like…incredibly attracted to her and kind of addicted to her in a way — and based of this i think i managed to do that!

the fact that you said this fic made you glad your alive is such an insane honor. to me this is a fic i’ve been mulling over and using to cope with my own shit, but i’m glad you’re alive, too. shit, i’m glad i’m alive to write it and see it.

thank you for your kind words and kind heart. i hope there are many more people like you in this world, but even just you is enough. have a wonderful holiday season, anonnie. take care 🩷

[definitelynotnia]

sorry i have to rant or i will cry i hate when im so angry that the anger comes out as tears

tw: random guy being a general asshole abt lgbtq and trans ppl so if you dont wanna deal with that today, cz ik there's already enough hate literally everywhere online, then please save yourself from this burden and move along, i hope u have a nice day bcz if i cant then someone should

i just spent my whole afternoon arguing with this guy- it was such a waste of my time i haven't slept properly last night and i wanted to take a nap but my nap time is GONE i hate this i told him im done with this conversation and that i dont give a shit about him enough to want to educate him on things and have him change his opinion i TOLD HIM IM DONE i told him that he can keep his opinion shoved up his ass and as long as he doesn't bully people i dont give a shit i was READY TO GO TAKE MY NAP but nooo this bitch is like "just say you've run out of valid points" like BITCH NO.

i can't have valid points to counter you with because all the points ur giving me are utter bullshit like how the fuck am i supposed to reply to "ppl assigned male at birth wearing skirts and make up is worse than war" like WHAT???? DO YOU HEAR YOURSELF??? ARE YOU INSANE? what the fuck am i supposed to respond to that with? except that trans people aren't hurting anyone and war is, and he's like "at least war can be contained, these people are spoiling the mentality of the youth" like YOU ARE THE SPOILED YOUTH not the other way around, im like listen if you were really pressed about children and how trans inclusivity impacts children then you would have at least read more about that but if your first point is only "they're doing surgery on children" then clearly you have not even done as much as a simple google search so we both know that you just heard that in some random reel and went with it and you dont give two shits about the supposed 'children being made to undergo surgery', which they're not, and all you actually care about is looking cool and edgy by hating on the lgbtq community because thats whats in trend right now in india. he's like these people are too privileged why cant they just shut up and enjoy life they are rich like first of all rich people can have problems too??? also being able to afford therapy and gender affirming care does not equal to rich thats like saying if someone in ur family has any chronic illness ur automatically rich like ??? also poor people are trans too? and im so sick of these ppl thinking being trans is just an american thing or a first world problem like brother no? you are literally living in india trans people are mentioned in the FUCKING SCRIPTURES are u KIDDING ME? being trans is not a new sudden occurence its been there for longer than you have. like literally after 2 hours of conversation the only points he could think of to hate on lgbtq for no reason is

they are rich and privileged so they shouldnt have problems

if they have a problem with their gender they should keep it to themself and not fight it (??????)

they are running from their problems (they are literally solving the problem thats the part which everyone is mad abt its when trans people try to solve the problem by being okay with expressing themselves freely and to counter i said that even alcoholics are running from their problems ive never seen any of u andrew tate cocksuckers ever make a "joke" bullying alcoholics he's like thats different like literally all his "points" are him just saying whatever and then if u try to explain it with logic he'll be like no but thats ok bcz i said so and this is wrong bcz i said so like fuck you dude)

they shouldnt have rallies and stuff because there's more important things like war that the government should focus on (he was the one who said "war is a beacon of peace there cannot be peace without war" when i had first mentioned that its ironic that out of all the bad things happening in the world rn LIKE war the biggest thing he's worried about is a "man" wearing a skirt but ok sure now all of a sudden war is a big boo boo and we should all be focusing on that, so basically when he wants to hate on ppl war is irrelevant but when a marginalised group wants to fight for their rights that time war is the most important point and no one elses suffering is valid bcz there is war)

it is spoiling today's youth (im not even gonna talk about this because i do not see how people living their lives and just existing is considered "spoiled" and "corrupt" but people regularly hating on, bullying and degrading a whole ass community just because they are uneducated swines lacking critical thinking skills and a spine that saw some 'famous' youtuber or influencer or wtv or maybe a reel with 'dark humor' dissing on lgbtq and pronouns and 'blue haired girls' and now they thing they're oh so cool and edgy and dIfFeReNt and "not like those woke snowflakes" just cz they degrade and bully a whole community of people every chance they get)

im so done im SO DONE with this bullshit its EVERYWHERE its a trend now to be hateful and mean and an asshole to anyone who isnt "normal" according to heteronormative standards. i understand not having an opinion, to some extent ok i get it you're young you don't need to be involved in this yet but no, they want to have an opinion but they will do no research they physically shudder at the thought of reading a book and god forbid they actually google up a trustworthy article to confirm some of the bullshit they believe they will do none of this but they will scream and shout about how lgbtq is the problem and magically that is the only "social issue" they care about and they care soo vehemently apparently that they have to post about it and make dArK jOkEs about it and use slurs and degrade them every chance they get because THEY are harmful yes sure you who are actively spreading hate are the angelic saviours of society and a community of people JUST EXISTING are the ones that are harmful, right.

[rouge-the-bat]

I kinda want to start readingn yu yu hakusho (manga first bc thats how i roll) sooo would u be interested in pitching the plot and whatnot for me? I know this is smth I could just google buuut, Id like to get some info straight from the best source :3 (a nd fan whos likes to ramble)

👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀 OKAY SO idk what all the differences are between the manga and the anime (havent read the manga yet but i want to eventually) but yu yu hakusho starts off with, from the very get-go, the protagonist dying! yup, main character just dead right at the start, and the next part is a plot for him going through a test from the spirit world to get his life back! its actually pretty emotional, because yusuke (the protag) didnt want to come back until he realize how much the people hes closed to cared about him, but throughout the show he makes more friends and realizes more of what he wants to live for (while theyre all constantly risking their lives in battles jfkdjfj) and becomes way more well off by the end of the show.

a lot of the show is yusuke taking various cases from spirit world as their designated spirit detective, fighting demons and sometimes humans to protect the world through the use of his spirit gun power! theres a whole lot of excellent humor along with intense moments, and i cant pinpoint exactly how they do it but even the funny stuff happening during serious moments dont really retract from each other, unlike how some other series it can feel like awkward tone shifts.

yusuke is a snarky son of a bitch, absolute delinquent that loves to kick ass. hes defintely not the brightest, but he makes up for that in sheer willpower (and luck lol). hes not a pure goody boy protag, hes a lovable asshole!

kuwabara is similar to yusuke in being a delinquent that loves to fight, but he has much more of an honor code and actually tries to be polite and really sweet sometimes (especially to his big crush in the show) despite his usual brash loudness lol. hes the himbo of the group! he also has a kitten he loves :3

kurama is one of my top favorite characters ever (and my kin) because hes just so??? interesting??? hes literally the best character in the show to put in a situation. any of them. so none of this is spoilers bc this is all shit he straight up tells as soon as he shows up in like, episode 7 or something: hes a fox demon thief that almost was killed, but he managed to transfer his spirit into an unborn human child and was raised by his human mother, whos kindness ended up changing him from cruel and ruthless, to a much kinder person. hes a interesting mix of characteristics, where he can equally be the kindest of the group, but he can also still be the most ruthless. plus they really play up the pretty boy factor and his main weapon is a rose whip hes fucking great. also despite him being a lot kinder now hes still defintely an asshole sometimes and loves messing with people bc hes still a fox at heart.

THEN HIEI. HIEI HIEI HIEI HIEI I LOVE HIM SO SO SO SOSOOOOOO MUCH. him and kurama are partners (demon partners but gay partners too bc i say so, and also theres no one else hiei compliments so much like he does with kurama and theyre like 90% of the time together and kurama teases hiei SO MUCH and theyre just adorable okay,) hes my hearthrob trope of angsty edgy guy whos so tsundere about actually caring about people but hes actually SO soft deep down and just needs more love in his life. and is super hot. literally anytime this dude gets into battle he often either rips his shirt off or his shirt rips itself off by the sheer power of his fucking energy i love him. hes such a badass. and he has nice tits. and hes soooo soso sososososoososo cute he has the most adorable surprised faces and hfjjjdjfk OKAY ill try to hold off the gay a little bit to actually explain his character. hes such a rude little asshole and is often the quiet one at the edge of the room thatll snark you if he catches you being dumb. hes such a tsundere about having friends and caring about them but even yusuke can see through his shit and calls him out on it and says hiei will be there when they need him. short angry man gets friends who he cares for and who cares for him.

BTW THO there is some Iffy Moments in the show id recommend checking out the doesthedogdie site for various trigger stuff if u think ud need it !!! and unfortunately the anime often has a LOT of flashing lights so if that would affect you then you may have to stick to the manga, or maybe theres someone whos edited the show to be safe for photosensitive folks?? do ppl do that? idk. but still despite some flaws in the series, the characters are just so !!!!!! [SQUEEZES THEM LIKE A SQUISHY TOY] im literally so obsessed with them theyre just a fun cast with the best interactions aaa theyre like family to me (bc im kurama kinnie)

ALSO !!! IF U DO CHECK IT OUT FEEL FREE TO YELL AT ME ABOUT STUFF !!!!!!

[stormxpadme]

AO3 has been kicking me out for around 10mins bcs of pages loading too slow on wifi and data both so it wont let me post a comment on ch 7 (i think) SO HERE IT IS i will not go to sleep till i send it to you PUBLICALLY ! (gonna also paste it into ao3 tmrw but i need to send it now and then pass out for at least 3 more hrs xD):

REMYYYYYY AAAA i literally firgot everything i was gonna say when i figured out its gambjt j'fucking adoreeeee 🥰🥰🥰

one bad mutant for eric one food mutant fir charles. theyre just playing chess at this point. assholes. also with the like killing and mystiques comment abt another talk between erik and charles i had a thiught there... hmmmm.... i wish i rmbrd what kt was. OH YEAH. it hink i said this a while ago somewhere that its like. Its a draw, and impasse, and until either one of them crossed any of the arbitrary lines they drew in the sand nothing will change

Also scott is a dumbass and katja is so extremely like. Idealistic. I love that for her bcs she still has enthusiasm amd has that righteous anger that comes off as either annoying or hopeful to someone whos been fighting a war for so long such as scott. And i love that part of the convo where scott is like we cant save the whole world. It made me think of schindlers list and that quite - the man who saves a life has saved a world entire. Which is ironic given that its eriks goons doing this, which AGAIN brings me to erkis hypocrisy this time and like. Him and charles are just two sides of a same coin arent they?

The encounter with that girl yesterday had left him more confused than he had experienced in years. - side eyeing you for this 👀🤨😤😹❤️

With this weapon, we can turn all of New York into mutants in a few days and all of humanity in six months - oh i rmbrd now! (I cooy some quites to clipboard not to forget to comment on them xd) - what i wanted to say here is that i have all the love and none of the respect for cartoonish villain plans ised to attract the attention of your ex boyfriend xD "imma turn the whole new york into SHARKS and i'll be the SHARK MASTER" like dude chill ffs just text him its okay its cool xD.

❤️

It sent, actually! But yeah, everything's lagging there right now including my answers to you and I'm getting unnerved bc AO3 GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER. So I will answer here :D And then I will send you to bed BECAUSE REASONS.

And hey, there's a definite advantage to posting here: You can include visuals :D.

I needed my red eyed Cajun baby in there :D. I mean obviously, since the team is what it's like in the 90s cartoon plus one additional weather-witch, but also because Remy is too fucking cute (and Taylor Kitsch was too fucking hot playing him).

Yeep, exactly. Charles and Erik love each other far too much still for their own good. This whole thing would long have been over with everyone dead if they didn't hold their respective people back. With how it's going, there's just more and more collateral damage on the way, and those two still will just fuck it out and cry on each other's shoulder in the end, and they deserve all the shade thrown at them for it.

Uuugh now I get emotional about Schindler's list again, never managed to rewatch that, it broke me so much the first time already. I think it's really the hardest part about this job? Getting to terms that you can't be everywhere at once and that making as much of a difference as you can is what counts and not saving everyone because that simply won't work. And my girl is still at the beginning of learning that sigh. It's really chilling seeing Erik walk around killing off random people in this franchise just because they're normal people bc like. This is what happens when someone's been on the receiving end of this and then gets the power to turn the tables on the fascist assholes. The moral dilemma of the whole thing ugh.

Oh god, I'm so sorry for this storyline already LOL. Poor Ororo really needs better taste in men …

thanks, now I can never take that plan seriously again LOOOL. I mean, when Erik finally gets up to get this plan up and started, Charles will indeed be there in person, so I guess in the end the plan worked? :D

[theskyexists]

Went to see across the spiderverse

In retrospect, a film about parents dying and preventing it from happening was..

Anyway.

It was incredible animation of course again. The first part was honestly AMAZING. With Gwen. She looked so breathtakingly beautiful. And her dad????? The EMOTION. And also, wtf. But think they wrapped it up too quickly actually.he HUNTED her and then tried to arrest her (stupid cop!) when she saved people and even when she showed him who she was!!! And she left him for it - rightfully she said: I guess there is no one for me here now. And he didn't apologise. He didn't say: I was wrong. I'm sorry. I was worried sick. I'm your dad first and a cop second - a cop no more. GWEN!!!

Really interesting that the first film already had the theme: being Spiderman means experiencing certain fundamental things. And the point of being Spiderman is getting up again. (Nvm the weird thing about everybody can be Spiderman....uh..I always thought that was weird in that first film. Bc the whole point was that no you cant it takes a certain something)

But. Now they're taking it to the next level of course. And it's getting VERY meta. In order for a spiderworld to exist - some spiderrelated events MUST happen.

But actually Miles is an anomaly so he REALLY CAN WRITE HIS OWN STORY. Like Gwen says: HE REALLY CAN DO ANYTHING. And. He really can change canon. (Also explains why he's so OP yeah)

But also - didn't he already lose Uncle Aaron? But that's a different event? So Uncle Aaron is Uncle Ben. And then there's a police captain and a kid. Who's often related to the love interest. The question even is, why didn't Miguel gun for Miles immediately. Probably didn't know how to 'fix him'.

Stupid idea to tell Miles anything anyway tbh.

They really got rid of Aunt May quick to isolate Miles again.

I loved Hobie like - almost in retrospect. HE WAS ACTUALLY PUNK ANTI-ESTABLISHMENT!!!

Loved the moments of betrayal. Especially between Gwen and Miles. And Peter and Miles. and Peter and Gwen. And Gwen and Spider-Woman. 'we're supposed to be the good guys!' YEAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!! That's also why I thought they wrapped Gwen's dad's thing too soon because dude, that was like a huge awful betrayal and they handled it almost like some regular fight between a kid and her dad. Especially coz GWEN had to be the adult in the room when he walked away - like WHAT. And how did her speech lead to him quitting. There should have been one more beat about firstly: Gwen being like: oh god he's gonna die anyway and secondly: something changed - Miles changed it. Or - I changed it (because. I met Miles?). To tie it all back.

It was incredible action, emotion, tempo, character moments etc. BUT I'll say it.

The ending was weak. Couldn't have been anything else I guess. They definitely could have done worse. The windowed narrative was pretty good, and the reveal etc. it all helped..but still weak and a little disappointing.

'There's always a way'. But how? I guess you got Spot which is a new element in the multiverse. Might be able to do something about....holes in the canon. eyyyy. If he weren't a supervillain for idk stupid ego reasons.

Miguel is not funny. It's actually amazing that it's commented on and in fact right around that comment the jokes around him fall flat.

Interestingly he seemed to be injecting himself with spiderdna I guess as more permanent inoculation against glitching

Loved Nueva York...

I also can't think of a way the ending could have been better. I just didn't think they'd cut it off. Didn't realise it was a series and not a whole story. Then suddenly I get this uneasy feeling like wait uh we're slowing but we're not there yet by far....

I think maybe my brother is right and they should have spent less time on Uncle Aaron putting on a record and more on Gwen getting ALL the buddies from ALL the worlds - interspersed with Miles getting getting more 'threatened' and that speeding up and up and then we get the reveal. BAM. And something about Gwen coming for Miles. Actually I think probably the windowed band story might have been bad actually here because tbf this ISNT Gwen's story anymore. We switched povs. I really absolutely LOVED Gwen as the main character at the beginning there. I adored it. Holy shit. But we switched. And they should have made her reference something Miles said. Not (just) her own personal story. Because it's not (just) about her anymore at that point.

Hah. What a thing to say from me who realised during those first ten minutes how POWERFUL a Spiderman story about a girl was to me suddenly - told so incredibly - even if at super high speed. Her internality is so different from what Miles sees ... Genuinely felt so - well whatever. Im glad enough we got ten minutes of her story, of her as main character. Still can't really expect more.

Also absolutely called that teleport mixup the moment I realised he wanted to use the going home machine

Also just really loved Miles' world. Brooklyn. the bbq, the streets it's all so homy and particular. His parents are a great team but damn they really shouldn't use that for ganging up on him. I feel like this film doesn't deliver enough comeuppance for parents, not enough grovelling. Why was there that moment with Gwen and his parents? It didn't land fully - because at that point I didn't yet know that the film was ending.

[troofless]

Chapter 3.2 Notes:

holy fuck we are (technically) finally DONE with the first book. what a milestone. damn

dude this was such a chonky chapter!!! i wanted it to be out yesterday to mark the one month anniversary since the tl began but oh well

ayyyy flynn genius cooking days (run, yuri. run. this will not last for long)

master chef flynn and yuri (judge) fr

yuri not being able to cook and flynn cooking amazing food this is truly the era of all times

yuri inferiority complex is back! man i missed it. dont worry this complex about food won’t last for long (cherish it while it lasts)

nooooo yuri new sword. surely flynn is going to go our sword this time right.

omg merchants and nobles becoming bankrupt because of price drop due to previous hoard? KARMA. PAYBACK BITCH. DIE.

haha wait wtf the uncle really is dead?? :( raven-coded uncle noooooooo

oyea and between the prev chapter and this chapter raven really was going thru his second character arc huh. man was fighting for his life and dying 

ok so ig the implication is that alexei or the council changed drastically after the entelexia war so like either alexei gave up on good morals due to shitty council behaviour or all his good men died during the war possibly due to council shenanigans but anyway alexei is definitely evil alexei now

also i just realised but yuri and flynn do reference a chivalrous thief/義賊 in the miska quest when raiding flynn’s room lmao

good to know yuri has been breaking into houses ever since he was a kid

yo worthless junk がらくた mentioned from the game prologue lmao

haha omg yuri and flynn scrapping is golden 

ah yes the somewhat subtle allegations of yuri and flynn being married couple in the future since they know everything about each other (except for yuri’s scar huh) /cope

man this whole book is just one entire character quest for flynn

ha ha omg yuri punching flynn made my day

omg no way… so the chapter title omoi no katachi is talking about yuri and flynn screaming? im gonna be sick fr

ah yes i love how jiri’s way of solving violence is with more violence /j

hanks calling jiri baasan is so lol

yoooo no way flynn quotes jiri when he says a crime is a crime /delulu

‘just take the fucking medicine norein’ has the same vibes as ‘get in the robot shinji’

norein to jiri: i have one final message for flynn… please tell him… change da world… my final message… goodbye… *windows sound*

hanks: take this bread *eminem rat*

jareth and the other boys waiting for yuriflynn to come back *mr bean waiting meme*

ah yes yuri making flynn search for him smh typical yuri this is why flynn keeps telling yuri to meet him at a time and place in the main game bc otherwise yuri cant be found

okkkk omg thats so cutee ahhhhh so yuri really say flynn is coming to search for yuri instead of the other times when it’s been the other way around huh aaaaarrggghghhghhhhh *chomping at the bit*

man just imagining the beaten up boys sitting on the wall staring into the distance in the night awww

ha ha both of them fell asleep under the stars totally not fruity coded

haha omg they split the bread of course they did somewhere in the future ted is rejoicing ajfdnqlkejfqwe

[growling]

ep8:

back to chuuya <33333 go king give us literally everything. chuuya really carrying this anime

his ability is really just. so fucking strong for this universe lmao. he's the god of this world. have chuuya on ur side and just automatically win forever

"is he a detective agency accomplice" chuuya would hurl and clutch his chest in agony is they heard that

KENJI YOU ALRIGHT??

Tanizaki do ur thing pls this would be a good time for that

KUNIKIDA YOU ALRIGHT. IF IT TURNS OUT YOU KILLED YOURSELF IM GONNA KILL YOU

back to atsushi and kyouka :))))) they :)))))) missed these two alone :)))))

why are you just walking around in broad daylight like that get some disguises guys!!!

DAZAI JUMPSCARE oh god good. its not real

dazai is not real and he cant hurt me

"what would dazai-san do in this situation" idk harass the nearest woman probably. and you won't do that to kyouka will you

OOOOOO FRANCIS COMEBACK??? WE'RE GONNA GO CRY TO FRANCIS NOW???? we're gonna go work with my pet frak francis now ?!?!?!?!!? :33

ok but would. would francis hear you out specifically after the whole moby dick thingy (also, these are shit disguises you just put on a hat. at least kyouka is trying and she's not even doing good either)

LOUISA??? YOU ALRIGHT????

and he's doing it all barefoot still. dude has soles of steel

"you seem to have lost your religion quite spectacularly, priest" lmao also. oh yeah the priest!! i forgot about him but he was in dead apple doing various nefarious shit

ooooh port mafia time :)

woohoo dazai kun arrested let it stay that way. but im gonna say, sigh. we do need his ability. we can just temporarily unarrest him for that and then throw him in the fire pit again

guys francis is in trouble i think

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

NEVERMIND CANCEL THE MOURNING KYOUKA SAVED THE DAY!!!!!!!!! THANK YOU KYOUKA!!!! THANK THE SPRINKLERS

another reason as to why dazai being captured is good for society after all. but. how did he do this

fyodor cursed scene "*dead eyed stare, most unenthused voice you've ever heard* time for happy group life counceling! i, fyodor, will be your host." Dazai: "okay, stop right there! hold up" Fyodor: "yes?" Dazai: "yes, what?" Fyodor: "yes what what?" Dazai: "counseling..." Fyodor: "that you for your prompt understanding. our high intelligence allows us to read each other's minds. but, because of that, we aren't able to provide counseling for others. unless they have a high level of intelligence, that is. which is why i'd like to take this opportunity to discuss our troubles with one another." Dazai: "sure then. you go first" Fyodor: "all right. my subordinates are always waiting for my instructions. they lack initiative. how might i get them to become more autonomous and effective? (idk, maybe don't lobomize them- ok ill shut up i recognize it is not my place to speak at this sophisticated conversation.)" Dazai: "just sit around all day. some of them will realize things have to change and take it upon themselves to act." Fyodor: "i see." Dazai: "okay, my turn" Fyodor: "go on ahead" Dazai: "the waitress at the cafe won't respond to my advances. (my advice is to FUCKING KILL YOURSELF) what should i do? (fucking KILL YOURSELF)" Fyodor: "make her lose her job and trick her family into disowning her. that ought to convince her to turn to you" Dazai: "i see." both: "HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAAH"

im sorry this meant. so much to me. it was everything

look guys fyodor can be a little silly sometimes too <3

"with this. mushy taro man" "its mushitaro" this is how you know francis is american

oh i thought margaret was dead for real?

ooooooh yosano used to work for mori too??

ooh mori you liar boy >:((

i do not care i trust francis with my life

anyway bsd season 4 let's go gamers

ep1:

still waiting for chuuya to get unbooked. notify me immediately once he gets unbooked i can't take thsi

oh hi fukuzawa. put his wrinkles back on ffs

fukuzawa and ranpo flashback episode pretty please??

LET'S GOOOOOOO

oh oda's the assassin?? killer baby

ranpo voice heard my waters are cropped

i do not accept ranpo being the same age/older than oda. i will not accept this. let oda be like. 30+ or whatever

whys ranpo giving me ouma vibes in this outfit

ranpo don't care sunglasses emoji

oh yeah i had the feeling the secretary was the killer from the moment ranpo walked in lmao. now danganronpa execute him

coolest kid you've never met

good for ranpo for getting kicked out of the police after exposing all their shit as a teenager

snitch ranpo we love to see it it's okay if he does it he can do whatever he wants forever he's never been wrong in his life

orphan lore

oh he's 14 now. baby

"well done for today-" "that's it?? you're talking to a 14-year old who lost his parents his job and his future. thats all you got??" yes ranpo go fight for that sympathy points make that old man cry and shake from guilt

he's so sillyyy......... "*2 seconds after walking out the door* help me mister bodyguard i don't have work or a place to stay im going to die" yes ranpo go fight for that house and income pluck that old man out of everything he got (morally correct). i love how it literally works and fukuzawa says yeagh sure every time

with every single minute ranpo is on screen. i swear. with every single damn frame of that guy he gets more and more npd. like. that is a narcissist. you wrote a narcissist and made him the coolest most swag guy in the anime. and that's not even mentioning that guy's massive fucking autism and adhd

is this gonna be like rain code chapter 2 where where-

fukuzawa sweating voice damn that kids a genius and also deeply deeply unnerving why is he so op in the smarts stats what happened in his early childhood to ruin him forever like this

and ranpo's utterly clueless to that too he just thinks everybody else is an idiot or just acting real weird and hiding what they know for some reason.

"ive only just met you so i don't know much but- *lists his entire fucking biography*"

LEAVE THE BOY ALONE YOU KNOCKED HIM OVER FUKUZAWA YOU MONSTER!!!!!!!!!!! YOU WILL ALWAYS BE A CRUEL AND WICKED PERSON YOU WILL DESTROY EVERYTHING YOU TOUCH YOU HAVE NOT AND NEVER WILL CHANGE IN A MEANINGFUL WAY. CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'D DO THIS...............

oh ok he apologized. but can he ever truly be forgiven........

the hat :)

new sonboy acquired

[poemnic-tarot]

What does your Higher Self want to say to you?

(Disclaimer : This is a general reading please only take what resonate. For entertainment purposes only)

⚜️ 🕯 🪲 🕸 You Are Loved 🕸 🪲 🕯 ⚜️

Pile One Pile Two

Pile Three Pile Four

⚜️ 🕯 🪲 🕸 You Are Loved 🕸 🪲 🕯 ⚜️

🎨Pile on🎨

Lily Ponds

Quotes: “See?, we are right. We will alway be okay.”

“With the lost of identity, you now have an unlimited way of acquiring a new one.”

“You have been strong, I know you’re trying so hard to hold on and it’s working. You tried so hard to do the right thing, everyday things and it’s taking everything of you to just breathe. But I’m here to say, you’re doing an amazing job love. And I’m proud of you. I’m proud of how you hold on and alway choose the higher road. The road to healing and in choosing your choice, you will alway come out on top.

We are alway with you, your strength and determination is admired across realms. Being strong enough to let go of attachment take immense inner strength. You could say, get to know your inner demons and learned how they tick and you did it. You did that. And by you doing the work, we are at a better place. So I want to thank you,and I can’t wait to show you who we have become. We got strong but in a different way. Your hope got us to where I am the happiest person in the world. Don’t you alway wanted a pet? But never trust yourself and your capabilities enough to get one??Well, guess what, we did it. We did everything we thought we couldn’t because of what’s holding us back. We did it all because you’re doing the work now and it paid off. I’m reaping all your hard work, if you’re thinking that what you’re doing will not amount to anything. Let me tell you, you’re dead wrong. Keep going dude and hold on to hope and let go of things that’s keeping you Chained. Time to get on a Pegasus and fly and when we decide enough is enough and it’s time to heal. Nothing can stop us.”

Love,

Me

How can Pile one love themselves more?

Whispers of Love Card - no. 18 : Embrace your emotions. Allow your feeling to surface and be accepted.

Poem verse- The Devil by @cant-find-my-name

“The Devil broke rank

And step up to me,

It said take my hand

And let it all free

The madness, the resentment,

The rage

Show them what you’re made off

Let it uncage”

Song - Dynasties and Dystopia by Bren Joy, Denzel Curry & Glenda Proby

“I might, just might kick your butt, go run amok then

paint my nails

Never learned to raise my hand, was too busy raising

Hell

Everything I know I am, you should go and save

Yourself

Thought you had my number, huh?

Congratulations, you played yourself”

Signs - Pegasus, Monkey, 11, Pillars of Creation

Movie Recommendation: Princess Mononoke

⚜️ 🕯 🪲 🕸 You Are Loved 🕸 🪲 🕯 ⚜️

🕷Pile Two🕷

Roses

Quotes : “Your perception may be affected by your emotions”

“What blocks you from feeling a sense of wholeness each and everyday of your life?”

“Hello, how are you?. Not doing great isn’t it?. You’re thinking about something, something that you just can’t figure out. Are you feeling stuck?. It’s okay, I’m just here to let you know that you can get out of that. It’s not end all be all. Let start fresh, if it isn’t working, why keep going right?. Let try again, let do it all again. Yes, it is a drastic decision to do it all over again but, you’re not starting from nothing. You are starting from experience. This time it will be different because you gained a different perspective and lessons from the previous experience. Let look at it from a different angle yeah?. You alway see a square but let me tell you, you’re right, it is a square. But, time to see a cube now, we’re going beyond level surface. We are diving deeper into things, especially your emotions. Why are you feeling stuck?Stale?, like a piece of bread that’s out for too long. Why does life feel the same?, day after day. Nothing different, nothing change, nothing happening?. Well, your feeling is valid and it is true from where you’re looking, but we both know that no days are ever the same. And that’s the objective truth.

You can make the day different, so different, so drastically different from all other days with just one act. Start something you never did before, like a new hobby or hobbies. Don’t you alway want to try out a new hobby anyway?, volunteer? Doing charity work?. Well, do it, cause I guarantee you from then on, things will never look the same again. I’m here with you, alway. I have witnessed your frustration, know how deep your claustrophobic of the same routine, how deep the fear of it runs. I understand. But good new!, dear, we managed to get ourselves out, out of the metaphorical cage. Believe in the impossible because I’m here to tell you, impossible? I don’t know her. Once I see the solution, the answer has never been clearer. Sleep on it to see one.”

From me,

Your one and only

How can Pile two love themselves more?

Whispers of Love card: no. 15 - Practice Compassion. See things from a fresh perspective.

Poem : Young Love by @cant-find-my-name

Young Love - How I had miss it

Completely

Young love did not come to visit

Me,

Maybe I was too damaged

Maybe I thought it was too bothersome

Maybe because there wasn’t anyone,

Such life altering crush on a person

Did not befall me

I did not go towards being

Romantically incline,

My youth was full of angst and painful

Confusion

It would have been more fun

If, and when I was young

I had fell in love with someone

Song: Our Love by Curtis Harding ft. Jasmine Sullivan

“And after all. (After all)

The rain will fall on us two

But I’ll keep movin’on

Proud and strong with you, with you”

Signs : Oak Tree, Blue tit, Blue, Yellow, 104, Feathers

Movie Recommendation : The Sea Beast (animation in Netflix)

⚜️ 🕯 🪲 🕸 You Are Loved 🕸 🪲 🕯 ⚜️

🧚‍♂️Pile Three🧚‍♂️

Garden

Quotes : “You don’t notice your progress in life because you are alway raising the bar”

“Just because you can take it doesn’t mean you have to. Suffering is not a superpower.”

“Congratulations!, we did it!!. We alway knew we could do it but to have it confirm in the 3D?, take that life. Every daydreams, all the creations in our head, come alive. FINALLY. I am so proud of you, us, to be able to come this far. It hasn’t been easy my love. But look at us now. Finding our true love, our true passion, finding our path, finally. We nearly give up and give in, listen to all those distractions and the ‘you should you this’ and the ‘you should do that’, infringing on our imagination. Gatekeeping our dreams, I would like to say to those people, “fuck off” politely because no one can stop us when we literally see our dream come alive. We did sacrifice so much just to get here so I would like you to compensate. Take back what you need to. The journey was hard, so now it’s fun time!. Work hard play hard you know?. I know there’s still so much to do and a war to win but, we won this battle. So why not celebrate and bath in all the glory. This is just one in a thousand projects that we can achieve. Once we found our true passion, not even ourselves can stop us.

I love you so much, you need to take care of yourself more. True victory is when you are healthy to enjoy everything that you’ve won. Don’t ever stop dreaming, your imagination is what got you here winning, don’t hide it. Everything beautiful you can think of, can and will come true. Your dreams is coming alive.”

- Love, me

How can Pile 3 love themselves more?

Whispers of love card: No.30 - True Love. This love is once in a lifetime.

Poem verse : A Paradigm Shift by @cant-find-my-name

What you couldn’t see in the past

You can see it now don’t you?

The patterns, repeating like a circle

Life is a vicious cycle

Yet, still new pain formed

On top of old ones that still buried

Beneath it all,

I can see a door

Opening for the first time

But what does it take for me to walk through it?

Songs: Day’n’ Nite by Kid Cudi

“Day and Night (what, what)

I toss and turn, I keep stressing my mind, mind

I look for peace but see I don’t attain

What I need for keeps this silly game we play, play

Now look at this

Madness to magnet keeps attracting me, me

I try to run but see I’m not that fast

I think I‘m first but surely finish last, last”

Signs: Sparrows, Fireworks, A kiss, Dragon, Peacock

Movie Recommendation: Purple Heart

⚜️ 🕯 🪲 🕸 You Are Loved 🕸 🪲 🕯 ⚜️

🐹Pile 4🐹

Surprise

Quotes : “You are confident, after all we are one.”

“See?,we are right. We will alway be okay.”

“Sup, guess what?. You’re right, listen to your intuition. There’s a saying, fear is loud but intuition whisper. However, for us, our intuition is screaming. Trust it, whatever you have in mind, it’s coming. The ultimate love you’re seeking? It’s coming. Well, It’s already came to me so trust me when I said, it’s coming to you. Even that beautiful groups of friends you alway wanted to have. Now we have that. Finally right? So many good things are coming for you, be prepare or don’t, either way it’s on it way.

You are loveable, you are amazing and you deserve better. You deserve better people around you and deep down you know that and is waiting for that. So guess what? they’re coming. And you deserve it all love. Every beautiful relationship you’re yearning for. Be confident in that you are worth it all. Everything will work out, no more being alone, cry alone, fear alone, live alone. This life is not meant to be lonely for us. The great love you harboured will be return. Forgive all the ones that did not know how to return your love, or how to give it back to you. They don’t matter anymore. Forgiveness will ease the burning anger in your heart. No point spending your energy on people that are not willing to do it back. We have somewhere else to be, it’s including You & Me. But only for a little while and then, Boom!. Soul family.”

- Kind regards

You

How can Pile 4 love themselves more?

Whisper of love card : No.29 - Forgiveness.Nothing is gained by holding onto past disappointment.

Poem: Safe Blanket by @cant-find-my-name

“The world seem to be against me

But you whispered in my ear

‘That’s not true, why don’t you look closely’

Stop telling yourself lies

The sky only bring you calm

The trees evoked your peace

The river set you free

The stars shared your longing,

Curious eyes filled with

Mystery

The world is here for you

If only you let yourself be

And let yourself see”

Song: Nirvana Girl by Sorn (ft. Yeeun)

“I, I’m on my way to be

Nirvana girl, a newer better me

Out of this world, enlightened and free

Nirvana girl, that’s what I’m gonna be

Kinda think it’s crazy how I used to be intimidated

Kinda waiting for someone to

Save me from my indecision

Oh my god, when I should’ve saved myself”

Signs: Candle, Masks, Krystal, Violin, 222, Book, Horse

Movie recommendation: Marriage Story

⚜️ 🕯 🪲 🕸 You Are Loved 🕸 🪲 🕯 ⚜️

Thank you so much!. See you soon!

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 318: On Your Left

Previously on BnHA: The Hawksquad+Lurkers were all “well this sucks” and sat around a bit talking about how maybe they should actually come up with a new plan that is actually good, but then in the end they were like “nah.” Deku was all, “THERE’S SOMETHING INSIDE ME THAT PULLS BENEATH THE SURFACE!! CONSUMING, CONFUSING!! THIS LACK OF SELF CONTROL I FEAR IS NEVERENDING. IT’S HAUNTING HOW I CANT SEEM TO FIND MYSELF AGAIN. MY WALLS ARE CLOSING IN.” Just, literally that whole entire song. All Might was all “Deku you should take care of yourself, try eating a thing,” and Deku was all “BYE, ALL MIGHT,” and just LEFT. He left!!! What the fuck!!!

Today on BnHA: Endeavor is all, “maybe if Deku didn’t listen to All Might he’ll listen to me instead.” Deku is all, “[doesn’t listen to Endeavor]” because, well, yeah. The Vestiges are all, “surprisingly, even we are a little concerned -- maybe you should get some rest, kid.” Deku is all, “((Ò ‸ Ó)).” The Vestiges are all, “holy shit.” Deku is all, “[wanders the ruined city streets terrifying the populace on account of him looking like Shelob had a baby with one of the Nazgul].” Some shriveled-up puppeteer villain asshole is all, “HORIKOSHI SAID IT’S MY TURN TO ATTACK DEKU TODAY SO I AM GOING TO SUMMON MY FRIGHTENED HELPLESS ATTACK MOB!!” Kacchan is all “WHADDYA MEAN THEY FOUND THE NERD!!! -- oh wait, that’s me, I found him. I found the nerd, you guys.” And just in time, too. I was about to owe a whole lot of people a whole lot of dollars.

so I have been super good about spoilers this week as always, but let me tell you guys, for the past 36 hours my dash filters have basically been nonstop “manga spoilers” this and “bnha 318” that, and so I’m coming in with a fair amount of hype here. your move, Horikoshi

oh, good! they got Endeavor to call Deku to try to talk him out of it. what a great and wonderful plan

“listen up kid, you haven’t slept since March and you are basically a walking biohazard right now, I’m just telling it like it is. didn’t you get shot like three times?? and there was a whole thing about how you urgently needed medical attention?? and supposedly we gave it to you, but I mean you haven’t even changed your clothes and don’t seem to have any fresh bandages or anything, so did we?? did we, really?? and also we all got blown up yesterday, so yeah.” hmm he’s making some reasonable points here you guys, but you sure do go on and on, Endeavor

oh he says foreign aid is finally on its way! I’m sure they’ll be very helpful. I mean in fairness they can hardly be worse than the home-grown heroes at this point

hey Enji, could you maybe try appealing to Deku the sixteen-year-old human boy, as opposed to Deku The World’s Last Hope? he does have value beyond his quirk. I know that’s always been an incredibly difficult concept for you to grasp, but could you maybe TRY, jesus

and also we’re worried about you as a person?? you’re just a kid and you’re pushing yourself way too hard?? you were going to say that part next, right. why the hell didn’t Hawks make this call instead

“don’t worry about me... I’m completely fine” Deku you do understand that saying it over and over again doesn’t actually make it true

and again with the rush!! all the rush rush rush!! we’re running out of time, we can’t let AFO and Tomura keep getting stronger, I have to end this now, there’s no time to rest, etc. etc. etc. just the constant pressure of this whole big countdown on top of everything else

holy shit, you KNOW it’s bad when even the Vestiges are telling him to chill

these guys are basically the walking talking embodiments of self-sacrifice; if even they’re telling him he needs to take five, then he must seriously be like half a step away from death’s door

OH SHIT LMAO

DIDN’T EVEN LET HIM FINISH HIS SENTENCE BEFORE HE SENT HIM INTO THE FUCKING SHADOW REALM WITH THAT FUCKING LOOK. HOLY FUCK. DIDN’T EVEN KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO DIE TWICE. SHIT

(ETA: so I’m pretty sure this was just Danger Sense activating and so he cut them off to go do more hero stuff, but I’m gonna go ahead and stick to my original interpretation anyway lol.)

anyway so how’s everybody doing. we all good? En, you good? Banjou? Shino? I’m imagining you guys all curled up in a little ball on the floor right now lol. can’t say I blame you though, no shame

lmaoooooooooooo

“SHEESH.” sheesh indeed, lmao. “what in the FUCK was that”

see, this is why y’all need Kacchan. you need someone who’s not going to back down from him no matter what. if it’s a matter of out-stubborning Midoriya fucking Izuku, then there’s only one other person on the planet capable of that, and we all know it. don’t pretend like you don’t. I am not going to shut up about this! we’ve had our hurt so now what about SOME COMFORT, DAMMIT

“I’m afraid that he’s becoming influenced by my conscience” nah are you kidding Nana this is all 100% made-in-Japan pure original Deku right here

see, Banjou gets it. “that kid, he’s totally going on his own.” exactly. this was so inevitable it was basically scientific law

“well I for one don’t see the problem with Deku being so obsessed with saving everyone else that he pushes himself until his body and soul literally fall apart” okay, whose speech bubbles are these?? we’re about to have words

lol of course

well you always did prefer the direct route didn’t you. but even you can’t possibly think this is okay lol

dark AU!Kacchan please tell us more about your badass doomed timeline in which everything went to shit and you apparently had the same character arc that Deku is having right now except it somehow made you sexier instead of turning you into a rabid t-rex. I have so many questions

oh so now you want to help??? well -- good, actually. sorry if that sounded offended just now lol

(ETA: so at first when I got to the end of this chapter I was wondering if Katsuki B. had somehow summoned his alternate-universe counterpart through trippy OFA space telepathy lol. but in the original Japanese there’s no reference to “we”, so this appears to be a mistranslation. this line should probably read more like “if there’s something/someone out there that would be able to complement/complete the current Midoriya Izuku [it would be]…” which, oh hello, is that Horikoshi once again reaffirming that Deku and Bakugou complete each other lol. “guess what guys, the Vestiges ship it too" heck yeah. they know what’s up!)

look how admiring his boyfriends are. HORIKOSHI GIVE US THE REST OF THIS BACKSTORY ALREADY GODDAMMIT

“meanwhile somewhere in the depths of the ruined city, Deku was having a dance-off with the villains”

I like how the villains all have this “AHH WHAT THE FUCK” kind of body language to them lol. I mean if it were me, and an eldritch horror suddenly clawed its way from the shadows with its writhing glowy tentacles and pants-shitting nuclear death stare, I would probably just die on the spot. no need to stick around. only pain awaits

lol for a minute I thought this was Can’t Ya See-kun and I was like “WHAT A FASCINATING CROSSING OF PATHS” but it’s just some random girl

he seems genuinely confused lol

Deku it’s because you look like something that crawled out of a sewer drain, sweetheart

lol they just took his word for it?

so trusting. even though they’re immediately hauling ass anyway just to be safe lmao

“my appearance is frightening to others” no shit Deku it’s because you look like a fucking alien exorcism. you look like a Lich that got caught up in an oil spill my dude

NO NOT THE CHOSEN ONE ANGST AGAIN

I RAN OUT OF ESSAY JUICE FOR THIS ALREADY HORIKOSHI!! I’VE BEEN TALKING ABOUT IT FOR MONTHS NOW WHAT TOOK YOU SO LONG!! BUT ANYWAYS, GOOD!! I MEAN, BAD, THOUGH, OBVIOUSLY. BUT YES

“ENJOY THIS MONTAGE OF DEKU BATTLING A RANDOM KAIJU AND WANDERING THE WOODS LIKE A DERANGED GREEN BABA YAGA” okay yes but sir, exactly how much longer is this going to go on. if it’s a matter of you wanting to make sure we get it, let me assure you that aside from a few stray chuunis who think that Deku embracing the Darkness is the coolest thing he’s ever done, all of us here in fandom fully comprehend that this is Not Good

-- OH SO IT’S LIKE THAT

really. with the flashbacks to his loved ones’ smiling faces and everything. not even gonna try to aim above the belt, huh

AND NO KACCHAN??! NO CLASSMATES?!?! IS HE PURPOSELY NOT THINKING OF THEM??? OR ARE THEY BEING SAVED FOR THE NEXT PAGE??? SO HELP ME, IF THE NEXT PART OF THIS SENTENCE IS “CAN PROTECT THEM”, OR EVEN WORSE, “CAN SEE THEIR SMILING FACES AGAIN”, I...

WHAT DID I JUST SAY

(ETA: my man did Sero and Kaminari fucking dirty lmao. I miss their smiling faces too omg.)

the sheer, unparalleled irony of him saying this while he stands there looking like the gargoyle demon from Fantasia got crossed with an umbrella that got struck by lightning. Deku :(

oi who the fuck is this clown

is he controlling this mob with his evil hair. “what if I made an exhausted, running-on-fumes Deku battle a brainwashed mob at Ground Zero.” Horikoshi do you just have like a checklist of horrible things you want to do to your protagonist

easy there Sasori

well joke’s on you buddy because he’s apparently “completely fine”, so

“here’s to hoping that you know more about AFO’s location than the others” jesus christ Deku you really have hung your mercy out to dry huh

now he’s forcing his mob of terrified prisoners to attack Deku ahhhh. sucks to be them. at least they’re not being controlled by bees

so Deku is saying that Sasori’s control can be broken with “physical trauma.” similar to Shinsou’s quirk I guess. but so does that mean he’s gonna have to hurt them? ( •﹏•)

NO NOT MORE SAD EYES

“DEATH BY EMPATHY!!!” HORIKOSHI NO

fuck. he looks like he’s on the verge of passing out

this is what happens when you nerf a character’s self-preservation stats in favor of spamming their bone-breaking stats instead. NOW ACCEPTING BRAIN CELL DONATIONS FOR A BOY IN NEED!! with your loving generosity we can hopefully help him live to the ripe old age of seventeen

OMGFGGG

YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

[grabs your hands] ლ(*꒪ヮ꒪*)ლ [swings you in a circle] へ(ﾟ◇ﾟへ)

THASSSSSSSS WHATSSSSSSS UPPPPPPPPPP

HORIKOSHI REALLY SAID FUCK THAT MASK (ノ°ο°)ノ YOU FINALLY LEARNED!! IT’S CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT!!!!

JUST FOR YOU KACCHAN, HORIKOSHI LEFT THIS ONE BAD GUY WHO’S STILL WEAK TO FIRE. GOD BLESS

IT’S YOUR COUNTERPART, KATSUKI B!!!! HOW WE DOIN OVER THERE IN THE TRIPPY COSMIC OFA SPACE REALM LOL. DO WE BELIEVE YET, FANDOM???

LIGHTS!!!!

INSTANT RESULTS!!! IT’S SUPER EFFECTIVE!!!

(ETA: imagine what this must look like to Deku though. he’s been caught up in this dark cloud of despair and exhaustion that’s been building up over... I’m gonna go ahead and say “weeks”, because yeah. and now he finds himself here, in the place where All Might’s legacy ended and the torch was passed to him. and the world is in ruins, and he’s surrounded by frightened people who are all trying to hurt him -- because who isn’t trying to hurt him, these days -- and he’s scrambling to figure this all out, but meanwhile the weariness is finally starting to catch up to him, and so he’s basically just standing there in a fog of complete and utter misery.

and then all of a sudden through that haze, he hears the one voice that’s more familiar than any other that he knows. like, I honestly wouldn’t be surprised if he thought he was just imagining it at first. Kacchan showing up to save him right when he’s at his most desperate and feeling the most alone. Kacchan, showing up to save him.

this is the person he always looked up to as a child (to be fair he was quite a strange child lmao). the person who was even closer to him than All Might. the person he always thought was amazing. and bam, here he is now. appearing in the sky out of nowhere to one-shot the bad guy with a single blast (which, btw, that was his armor-piercing attack too lmao dslkjlk take it easy there kiddo). like, that must have felt absolutely surreal to him, especially coming at a time when he’s already half-delirious and barely hanging on to reality. he must have really thought that he was losing it there for a second.

but he’s really there. it really is him. and for this brief moment -- before the rest of the situation catches up to him, and he remembers about all of the fucked-up AFO stuff, and remembers why he was so afraid and why he was pushing everyone away -- for just this one brief moment, he’s too exhausted and stunned to do anything except to just react. just stands there, looking up at him in awe.

and you know, it almost reminds me of...

just. you guys. the character development. the freaking character development. someone who brings reassurance. someone who shows up and makes you think, “oh, it’s all going to be okay now, because [person] is here.” the role reversals. the growth. the payoff!! because who is the one person who always had faith that Kacchan would one day grow up to become an amazing hero like that. WHO IS IT. YOU ALREADY KNOW.

omg. anyways, bless you Horikoshi, my feels which have been on backorder since fucking September have finally arrived lmao. yes, good, thank you. worth the wait. it is always, always worth the wait. fuck yeah.)

“LOWFRIES” SO YOU’RE TELLING ME THE WHOLE GANG IS HERE, AHHHHHHHH (º̩̩́⌣º̩̩̀ )

BEAUTIFUL. WONDERFUL. SENSATIONAL. I DON’T EVEN CARE THAT JUMP IS ON BREAK NEXT WEEK. THIS RIGHT HERE WILL SUSTAIN ME

[petersnya]

SOMETIMES PT.3

PETER PARKER X FEM!READER

Warnings: Angst (alotttt. I’m sorry lol)

Word count:1873

[A/N] So that there’s no smut in this part but it is SO worth it (trust me I hate when there’s no smut but this part is so SO GOOD)this part kinda like, BROKE my heart… ok it DID break my heart…  SEND ME YOUR FEEDBACK AND LET ME KNOW IF YOU WANT TO BE ADDED TO THE TAG LIST FOR EACH CHAPTER! ENJOY… (send a request for anything you want me to write or if you have any ideas)

-J.T.S xxx

PART ONE  PART TWO

Ever since the incident at the drive-in theater, Y/N has been avoiding Peter. Whenever MJ, Peter, and Ned would walk out of school together, Y/N wouldn’t be leaning out of the window of the car smiling and waving at them. She would have the window rolled up and looked either straight out the ahead or down at her phone. 

Peter told Ned about the whole situation but didn’t tell MJ. He knew she would kill him because Y/N is her cousin and their like sister towards each other. 

“Peter I don’t know what your gonna do, but you gotta do it fast cause sooner or later MJs’ gonna find out and your not only gonna lose the girl you have a major crush on but also your best friend,” Ned pointed out to Peter. Peter didn’t want to admit it but he was right. He had to come out with the truth to Y/N one way or another. He had to tell her that he does like her and that he lied about the stark internship. 

He had to tell her that he was Spider-Man.

“Yeah Ned, I guess you right.”

“I am right Pete. Now go get your Princess Leia,” Ned teased as the bell rang, signaling that it was time for them to leave. The two boys made their way out of the building, talking about their project they still had yet to finish. They didn’t see MJ around like how she usually is until they heard familiar voices coming from behind them. 

“Here’s your schedule and your and the supply list. You can also sign up for clubs if you would like,” an administrator said.

“I’ll think about it. That you so much.” there it was. That voice. It was Y/N talking to the administrator. But I thought she was homeschooled? Peter thought to himself, trying to wrap his mind around what was going on. It’s not like it was a bad thing that Y/N was coming to Midtown, but MJ told him that she really wasn’t the type to go to school. She hated big crowds of people and was never really good at making friends. 

“Ok well, I can’t wait to have you as a new student at Midtown!”

Peter and Ned looked at each other with wide eyes then turned fully around to see who was behind them, even though they already knew by the voices. “Peter…”

“Ned,” he said to the tan boy next to him. They were both in shock by what they just heard.

“Y/N’s going to Midtown?” they said in sync. 

“Yes, she is,” MJ added as she and her cousin walked over to stunned boys. Ned sent them both a smile and Y/N sent him one back with a small ‘hi’. Peter couldn’t help but notice that something was different about her. 

She’s not wearing her glasses.

The four of them walked out of the building together, telling Y/N about all the teachers and classes at the high school. She also explained that she was tired of being homeschooled and wanted to have something to do outside of her one personal bubble. This new information didn’t make much sense to Peter. She seemed so happy when she was at home from what he could see. 

Ned said goodbye to the two girls before heading over to the bus, beckoning Peter over. 

“Later MJ, b-bye Y/N.” 

“See ya, Parker,” MJ responded before getting into the passenger side of the car, kicking her feet up on the dashboard. 

“Hey! Feet off the dashboard dude,” Y/N yelled at her cousin. MJ mocked her expression before chuckling lightly- keeping her feet on the dashboard. “Goodbye, Peter,” she said coldly, turning back to Peter before getting into the driver’s side, pulling away from the curb before speeding off down the road.

“I miss you.” 

The brown-eyed boy whispered to no one, but it was meant for Y/N. He truly did miss her. Even if they had met only one week ago, that same surge of energy raced through him. Peter knew this wasn’t an ordinary crush- he didn’t know what it was. But he knew he couldn’t afford to lose it. He felt like he was falling apart without her. He didn’t intend to be that rude to her that night at the drive-in, it just happening and he regretted it the second he did it once he saw that heartbroken-hearted look on her face. But instead of apologizing to her, he just sat there.

“Sup penis Parker!” a kid named flash yelled and he sped by him, causing Peter’s brown curly hair to fall into his face. Great. 

“Hey kid, I ain’t got all day. Ya getting on or not?” the bus driver said to Peter. He slumped his shoulders and lugged himself into the bus, taking his seat next to his best friend. “It’s gonna be ok man,” Ned told Peter, trying to comfort him. 

I hope so.

///

Peter was late-night patrolling as he usually did and spotted MJ’s place. Not being able to restrain himself he swung over to the building next to it. He noticed that that same room light was on that was on the first time he stopped by MJ’s on a night patrol as Spider-Man. 

Looking through the window to the lit room, he saw Y/N. she was sitting on her bed, her legs crisscrossed as she wrote something down in a thick, brown, leather-backed journal. 

He smiled at the sight before him. Y/N was wearing the glasses. She pushed them up on her face with her knuckle and continued them to write. Someone must have called her name because she got up from her position on the bed and left her room. 

Curiosity took over Peter as he swung over the ledge of the fire escape that was right at Y/N’s window. He peered into it and used his mask to focus closely on the open journal sitting on the bed. It was a letter:

Dear dad, 

I can’t do this anymore. I miss you so much. You were what made me smile every day, and you still do. But I thought I had found someone who could make me smile even more. He’s beautiful dad. He has amazingly curly brown hair and the brightest brown eyes I had ever seen. His smile made me smile just like how your smile made me smile. He was the one that convinced me to wear my glasses… your glasses. Not MJ. not mom. He did. I thought he liked me as much as I liked him, but I was wrong. And now I can’t stop thinking about what you told me: some people fall in love with the wrong people sometimes. I think he was the one dad, the wrong one. The one I wasn’t supposed to be with. But why does it hurt so much? I’ve been preparing for this to happen to me ever since you told about false love. But now that it actually happened, I cant take it. I cant let him go. But I-

The letter stopped. And anyone could tell that Y/N had been crying as she wrote it- there were tear strains covering the page. 

Peter felt lightheaded. Tears flooded his chocolate eyes and he unfocused his mask from the page. He slumped down, his back not facing the window. He was hurt. It felt like everything in the world had stopped, as time had frozen. He couldn’t bear to know the fact that he hurt Y/N so much to the point she thinks it’s her fault. 

He yanked the mask off of his face, his cheeks burning a shade of crimson just like his eyes. Peter ran a shaky hand through his hair, gripping it as he grounded out in frustration. 

Letting go he slammed his fist against the brick behind him, yelling out in pain. But not physical pain. He felt like someone just ripped out his heart and stomped on it. 

“Hello?” Peter jumped at the voice coming from inside of Y/N’s room. Nows your change Peter. Just go tell her the truth. That’s what one side of Peter said, the other side was the opposite. You cant tell her now, she’ll just hate you more. You have to wait for the right moment. 

But when was the right moment?

“MJ, did you hear that or am I fucking crazy?” Y/N asked as she exited the room. Peter took this chance to get away without being seen. He made his way but to his shared apartment with Aunt May. Entering his room and sitting on his bed, tears ran down his face as he silently sobbed.

///

“Students, I need your attention,” everyone quieted down their own conversations to hear what was about to be said. “I would like to introduce you to our new student, Y/N,” Peter’s head snapped but to look to the front of the class. His eyes landed on Y/N. he couldn’t help but admire her outfit. She was wearing high-waisted but loose, flared jeans with a grey Slytherin sweatshirt and black converse- ones like MJs. her fingers were covered in rings and she has a small necklace. There was a bag draped over her shoulder and her hair was pulled up into a messy ponytail. She was holding her glasses in her hand, not daring to put them on.

Not in front of all these people. More importantly, in front of Peter. 

Her head hung and she stared at her feet, twisting the ring on her thumb. The teacher told that she could take a seat at an empty chair, and just to her luck, Ned wasn’t at school that day. So she was forced to sit next to Peter. She didn’t want to argue so she took her seat and sat there quietly not daring to even glance at the boy next to her. 

Half an hour went by and Peter noticed Y/N fidgeting next to him. Her hands were shaking, her ears were turning bright red and she shook the table from how much she was bouncing it. She was taking notes but the handwriting was illegible she was consistently squinting at the board, trying to read what was being written. 

“Hey Y/N, are you ok?”

“Fine,” she let out shakily, avoiding eye contact with Peter. He grabbed her hand, causing her to look him in the eye. Y/N’s eyes were red, tears swelling in the corners. 

“We’re going to the bathroom. Now.” 

“No Peter I’m f-fine.”

Peter grabbed Y/N’s arm, pulling out of the chair and into his arms, picking up their belonging with his free arm. They snuck out the back door to the classroom he and Ned used to sneak out of. 

Walking through the halls, Y/N’s breath became shallow. “Peter, peter I wanna go home. Please take me home. There are too many people in there. They were all looking at me a-and I didn’t want them to look at me. MJ. Peter where is MJ. I need-” 

“Ssshhh, relax Y/N. I’m gonna take you home,” Peter said, rubbing her back. She nodded her head at him as they walked through the back doors of the school. 

SORRY THAT THIS PART WAS SHORT BUT THE NEXT ONE WILL BE LONG AND I HAVE SOME REALLY GOOD SURPRISE COMING IN THE NEXT PARTS. I LOVE YOU GUYSSSSS

-J.T.S xxx

@love-granger

@moonlightbaby10

@oakiedokie

@hallecarey1

@tomhollandreader

[fandoms-are-my-friends-1321]

Holy Matrimony

This is my first time writing for the Prodigal Son fandom, but I’m still excited either way. This was requested by @jiejie-eonni-onee-sama, and the idea is so adorable and funny. Gif and characters are not mine. Hope you guys enjoy it!!!

Description: Malcolm plans to propose to his girlfriend during their date at a fancy restaurant, but some of the team and his family arrive to make sure he doesn’t blow it. An unexpected quest also makes an appearance

Warnings: just some mild swearing, spoilers for season one, and a brief description of a crime scene, but otherwise none

“I know this is a big night for us, but you didn’t have to rent out one of the fanciest restaurants in town. I’m perfectly fine with a night in at home.”

Malcolm turned to look at his girlfriend of eight months as he continued to button up his white dress shirt. “Come on, Y/N. It’s going to be wonderful I promise. Besides, I would do anything for you.”

That was very true. This was the longest relationship that Malcolm had ever been in, and Y/N was different. He was worried after what happened with Eve, love would never return into his life. It did, however, and he was grateful to Y/N for all she had done for him so far. Tonight was the night he was going to show how much he loved her.

“Our cabs here,” Y/n said as she straightened her outfit. “You ready for go?”

“Yeah, just a few more minutes. You can go ahead down stairs, and I will catch up with you in a minute,” Malcolm responded. While Y/N was a little suspicious as to why Malcolm needed to stay back, she shrugged it off and walked out the door of the apartment. Once Malcolm was certain that she was gone, he opened a drawer that was located discretely under the bar.

He pulled out a small velvet box, and inside was the ring that he planned to propose to Y/N with. His family and friends were all supportive of this move, and yet he was still a little worried. He took a deep breath and placed the box in his suit jacket. “It’s okay,” Malcolm whispered to himself. “Nothing could possibly go wrong.”

Sunshine tweeted happily. “Thanks, Sunshine. The next time you see the two of us, you’ll have a new mom to look after you.” With that, Malcolm opened the door and dashed down the stairs to the cab. The giddy energy he felt fueling his steps.

——————————————————————————

The couple sat in a rented out section of the restaurant. Malcolm didn’t want to raise any extra attention when he proposed to Y/N, and while renting an entire room might have been much, he didn’t want to risk it. His family already had to much attention focused on them because of his father, and he didn’t want anymore.

“Excuse me, but I’m going to go use the restroom before our food gets here,” Y/N said as she stood up from the table.

“Sure, that sounds great! I’ll be waiting here doing nothing in particular,” Malcolm stuttered as he fidgeted in his seat. Y/N smiled at him as she walked out of the room. He’s a lot jumpier than normal, she thought, Perhaps he has a recent case on his mind. In fact, the only thing Malcolm had on his mind was her, and he mentally screamed as he placed his head in his hands.

“Oh my god he’s going to blow it. My son needs to get it together.”

Outside of the restaurant, Jessica Whitley was standing outside with a pair of binoculars, her daughter Ainsley by her side. They were leaning against the brick wall of the building across the street. The pair was trying to spy on Malcolm and make sure that he didn’t mess this up.

“Well, you know how my brother can be,” Ainsley replied as she examined her fingernails.

“Your daughters right,” Gil chimed in as him and the rest of the team walked up to Jessica and Ainsley. “Malcolm Bright does whatever Malcolm Bright wants to do. We can’t control him.”

“I’m his mother for crying out loud, so I have more control than you think. What are you guys doing here?”

“Coming to see how Malcolm will manage to pull off this proposal. Same as you guys,” JT stated.

“I think you guys are being to hard on him,” Dani commented, “As much as Malcolm loves Y/N, he will know exactly what to say.”

“That’s right! From my statistical analysis, their love for each other is 100% legit,” Edrisa added in as she appeared from behind Gil, Dani, and JT. “Also, it’s a pleasure to see you again, Mrs. Whitley.”

“Likewise,” Jessica said with a smile. “Well, looks like the gangs all here.” The group waited and watched as Y/N returned to her seat at the table. The couple had begun eating, but the group that they didn’t know was waiting outside began to twist with anticipation.

“That’s it! I cant take this anymore. I’m going in,” Jessica declared as she shoved the binoculars she was using over to Ainsley. With determination, Jessica strides across the street. All the while Ainsley and Gil were trying to drag her back, but it was to no avail, and they began to follow her too. The rest of the team was close behind. However, another lone figure was lurking in the shadows.

“Holy crap, this pasta is the best I’ve ever had. No offense to your cooking of course,” Y/N said through a bite full of her food.

“None taken,” Malcolm replied with a chuckle. “I know how much you love Italian cuisine.”

“You know what I love more than pasta?”

“Day time television?”

“No, silly. It’s you! Ever since we first met at that crime scene, I just felt a connection with you.”

Malcolm couldn’t help but grin at the memory. Y/N was also part of the team, and the two had met during a case at a Bakery. At first Malcolm didn’t understand how Y/N was able to eat pastries while a man’s guts were strewn across the floor. Then he soon realized that she had witnessed a lot of crime scenes in her day.

This had to be the right moment. Somewhere deep inside, Malcolm knew that it was time to pop the question. Malcolm took a bite of his pasta, and tried to begin his proposal. However, when he saw his mom walk through the entrance of the room, he nearly choked.

“Mom! What are you doing here?! How’d you even know we were in here,” Malcolm questioned as he whiped his mouth with a napkin.

“Oh please dear, finding you wasn’t that hard. I came in because you need to stop stalling and do what you came here to do,” Jessica replied.

“Well I was going to say it, but-,”

“Jessica please, come back outside and let the kid do his thing,” Gil insisted as him and Ainsley enterted the room as well.

“Gil?! You’re here too? Let me guess the whole rest of the team is here,” Malcolm added with a wave of his hand. The rest of the team slowly made their way into the room, and Malcolm let out an exasperated sigh. “Well, now that everyone is here. May I please finish?”

Everyone nodded eagerly, and so Malcolm turned back to his girlfriend, who was still in shock by all the people who had just shown up out of the blue. It was a lot, but Y/N didn’t mind. Malcolm grabbed her hand, and Y/N’s E/C eyes met his icy blue ones. “Ever since I met you Y/N, my life has changed for the better. When I’m with you, the darkness in the world fades away. Now while I wasn’t expecting so many people to be here for this, I’m still certain that this is the right-.”

“Now hold on, my boy. Before you say those oh so famous words, aren’t you forgetting the one person that’s not here?”

The entire party froze as Malcom’s father, Dr. Martin Whitley, emerged from a dark corner of the room. Gil, Dani, and JT all pulled their guns from their holsters. “Holy shit,” JT said, “I thought this dude was in prison?”

“Yes,” Jessica snarled. “That’s exactly where he should be.”

Martin simply rolled his eyes at his wife and the others. “Oh come on now, you can’t expect me to miss the biggest day of my son’s life do you? I promise I will go back as soon as everything is done. Gil will make sure of that I’m sure.”

“Damn right I will, but for now I’m reluctantly allowing this to happen. No funny stuff though,” Gil said. Martin simply nodded as he gestured for Malcolm to continue.

Malcolm took a deep breath and focused his attention back on Y/N. “Well, as you can see my life is pretty crazy. I have a serial killer for a father, a mother who can sometimes be just as crazy.”

“Hey, that’s not very nice,” Jessica said as she pretended to be hurt, but her smile gave it away. Malcolm shook his head as he continued. “All of these people support us, and I plan to support you until the day I die, which hopefully will be a long time from now. So, without further ado,” Malcolm got down on one knee, and opened the velvet box. The central diamond in the ring sparkled due to the chandelier light from above, and Y/N let out a gasp. “Y/N L/N, will you marry me?”

“Of course I will!! Now come here my soon to be husband,” Y/N pulled Malcolm up by the lapels of his jacket and kissed him on the lips. At first her boldness caught Malcolm off guard, but he relaxed into the kiss. All the while cheers filled the room, and Martin even gave a few claps himself.

“So, will I be invited to the wedding,” Martin asked with a raised brow.

“Unless you happen to escape again, I wouldn’t get your hopes up,” Gil retorted as the cuffs snapped on Martin’s wrists. However, Martin only laughed at this. If he escaped once, he could easily do it again, and nothing was going to stop him from seeing another big moment in his son’s life.

[kornito]

SOURCE: https://korngiant.tripod.com/kornisgoodforu/id10.html

Dead

Song Meaning, Jonathan:

All I want in life is to be happy", it's that simple. People say that it's become their own anthem. It's like whenever I start to feel good, something comes and takes it away and I feel like I'm nothing again, like I'm dead.

Falling Away From Me

Song Meaning, Jonathan:

The song is about domestic abuse and that there ways to get help whether it's telling someone or calling a help line, there are ways to get out of those situations. Noone has to be treated like that.

Trash

Song Meaning, Jonathan:

"Trash" is about how I threw my world and everything out. I threw her away. I threw my old self away. It basically comes back down to the sex thing. The battles I did on the road, this whole album is what I went through because I was on the road and I went crazy.

Beg for Me

Song Meaning, Jonathan:

"Beg For Me" is more of an angry thing because the whole thing for "Beg For Me" is the crowd. The only time I was good on tour was when I walked up onstage and that's what the song is about. Feeling wanted is something one thing I've always needed. I was shuffled around so much when I was a kid...Being up onstage was the only point was the only time when my anxiety would go away for an hour.

Make Me Bad

Song Meaning, Jonathan:

I need to feel the sickness in you" ... It's spawned from f**kin', basically, from having sex. That's where that line comes from, but it means a whole bunch of things to me. "Make Me Bad" was about the battles I had being on the road, being married and being with other women. I'm not married anymore... beause of my lifestlyle, and I just couldnt do that to my wife anymore. So that ended. But does it make me bad that I have a dick and I have f**ken other feelings to be with other people? Why should I be with just one? It seems like human beings are genetically engineered to procreate. Thats what we do, f**k everything, and that's what our natural insides want to do. It is hard to find someone like that. But she was a good woman and I didnt want to keep on... I did the right thing, I was a man about it. It was better for me to tell her and let her go on with her life and find someone who could help her and be like that. So that song was spawned by that, does it make me bad to want to be with other women? In a sence it was my only drug, why... because I dont drink anymore, I cant drink. I've been sober for a year. I dont have any other vices. So at least doing that could be something.

Hey Daddy

Song Meaning, Jonathan:

"Hey Daddy" where I was schizophrenic and there were these voices telling me to do sh*t... To kill myself, basically. Daddy is one of my nicknames, so its like I'm talking to myself the whole time. It's hard to explain.

Dirty

Song Meaning: Jonathan

"I feel like a fucking whore to record companies." "You know how it is...the way we are used and marketed." "How they make all the money off us and we don't make shit!" "The only way we make money is to go out on tour and sell merchandise" "Basiclly we write all the music and turn in and they make all the money." "So I feel like that and also I feel like a slut cuz I'd go out at night and fucking girls and so I said fuck it, I'm going to do it. The only way to escape is to have sex." "Its all kind of different issues."

Its On!

Song Meaning, Jonathan:

It's On is my sh*t peer pressure song. Me being so stressed out going out and partying. Everybody's just going 'Come on dude, it's on.' That's partying, it's alcohol, cocaine, women. All that wrapped into one. I wrote a song about it. And the chorus I talked about Why am I really doing this? It's all my fault that I'm doing this because all the alcohol, the booze an the chicks do is just make it worse. They just rearrange all the problems in a different order that I can deal with at that moment.

Freak on a Leash

Song Meaning, Jonathan:

One of the best titles I've heard ever for a song. That's my song against the music industry. Like me feeling like I'm f**kin' a pimp, a prostitute. Like I'm paraded around. I'm this freak paraded around but I got corporate America f**kin' making all the money while it's taking a part of me. It's like they stole something from me, they stole my innocence and I'm not calm anymore. I worry constantly.

Got the Life

Song Meaning, Jonathan:

That's a song baggin' on myself. How everything's always handed to me. How I look up to God and don't want this anymore. Like I want something more out of life than all this. And I've got everything I really need but I sometimes don't like. I don't know how to explain it. I have to let it sit through the songs more to actually get into what I write. I truly know, really, the meanings of the songs almost. That's what I'm getting out of it right now.

Dead Bodies Everywhere

Song Meaning, Jonathan:

That was the song about my parents trying to keep me out of the music business. My father was in it and he knew how it was and I totally understand now that I have a son. I want Nathan to be a musician but I him don't want him to go through the hell I went through. That's the same thing my Dad was doing. A lot of people can relate to it, because it's like the Dad's wanting their sons to be football players and their sons want to be doctors or something. That peer pressure its like trying to make them something they're really not. And the Dead Bodies thing is like so I did it and all I got out of it was dead bodies everywhere and got all traumatized. Thanks a lot Dad, Mom.

Children of the Korn

Song Meaning, Jonathan:

That's the song that Ice Cube is on Cube came up with the title. I fed off of what he wrote, he was talking about growing up and puberty. Dictating what he can do, like how you gonna tell me how to live and who to f**k? And all this stuff. And I took that and in my stuff I was talking about being a kid always known as the f**kin' town faggot. It's funny how things change. That some of these people picked on me and all of a sudden look who's laughing now. Also in another of the verse I talked about all these parents f**kin hating me for what I do, saying I'm corrupting their children, but in turn these parents need to step outside of themselves and really listen to what I'm talking about. Then I think they can understand that they were kids before. They're just really quick to judge me. All the Children of The Korn are all our Korn fans. All those kids going through that sh*t and feeling what I feel.

B.B.K.

Song Meaning, Jonathan:

Big black cock! That's what I call a jack and coke. Those little glasses they serve in Europe and everything. That's what I named it, big black cock. And that's another song about me dealing with the pressures of this album and how I, you know, I'm trying to kill myself, but you know? Do I really want to kill myself? Things I'm just questioning myself. Most of this is self-structured.

Pretty

Song Meaning, Jonathan:

It's a story about this little girl that came into the coroner's office when I was working there and she was f**ked by her dad. She was an 11 month old little baby girl. Her legs were broken back behind her and he just f**ked her like a toy doll and chucked her in the bathroom. It was the most heinous thing I've ever seen in my life and I still have nightmares about it.

All in the Family

Song Meaning, Jonathan:

Fred was there after Korn TV and we said, 'Let's do a song together, Hey, man, let's go back and forth and rip on each other like an old school battle.' I don't know who's idea it was, I can't remember if it was mine or Fieldy's or Fred's but we came up with the idea and we started writing and we worked on it together. I came up with some bags on myself for Fred to say. It was all in good natured fun.

Reclaim My Place

Song Meaning, Jonathan:

This one is about the whole band and about all my life being called a homosexual. And then I became this big rock star in a band and I'm still called a fag even by my own band. So it's like I was f**kin' pissed off at them. It's like erase them all because I'm gonna reclaim my place and say hey, they owe a lot to me for what I did, and I owe a lot to them back. But, it still kinda sucks. I've never ever gotten away from that fag f**kin' title. Just because I'm a sensitive kinda guy. Kinda feminine it really sucks.

Justin

Song Meaning, Jonathan:

Justin, that was the kid dying terminally with intestinal cancer. His last dying wish was to meet us and it really freaked me out. That threw a whole bunch of new kind of pressures on my head. That's really intense. Someone's gonna die and his last thing he wants to do is come hang out with us. So I truly just freaked out. It's like why would you want to meet me? What makes me so special? And in turn I talk about how I admire his strength and his life. I couldn't stare at him because he was so content he was gonna die. No one could look him in the eyes. And I totally admire his strength. I wish I had it.

Seed

Song Meaning, Jonathan:

Seed. That's all about the same thing again. I laying in bed in my hotel room, thinking about do I really need all this stuff? All this pressure on me? Because I'm a stressed out freak. It's about Nathan, it's about every time that I look into his eyes, I see myself how I used to be, innocent and stress free. I'm kind of jealous of it. It really sucks, I used to be that way. It's like I have to work so hard at this thing in my life. I have to become a stressed out freak. I put food on the table for my child. Every time I look in his eyes, I just see myself staring right back at my @ss laughing. I was like care free, innocent as a child. It's really weird and I'm really jealous of it.

Cameltosis

Song Meaning, Jonathan:

That's a love song. It's about women in general, women who hurt me. It's Tre's lyrics. He's going on about chicks and my chorus is like I'm so scared to love anyone and really let them in after I got hurt really really bad by a girl. I've let Renee in a little bit, to be honest, but I'll never be that in love ever again. That's what I'm saying, if you've loved twice, you're gonna get f**ked, 'cause you usually do.

My Gift to You

Song Meaning, Jonathan:

Renee always wanted me to write her a love song and that's why I called it My Gift To You. It's my gift to her, you know how I get sick. I always had a fantasy of f**king her and choking her to death. I fantasize about what it would look like me in her body and watching me do it. So it's like a really sick f**ked up song. I did it totally like, I love her so much, I want to take her out of this world. It's really strange. She used to leave notes on my pillow like 25 ways she'd like to kill me. She's got this weird death fetish. We're kinda f**kin' freaky. She got it. She's all 'Thank you that's kinda f**ked up. I was expecting a f**kin' I love you, baby kinda song.' I'm all, 'No, you know me.' I mean I can't do that.

Chi

Song Meaning, Jonathan:

Chi is about a lot of alcohol and drug abuse. People turn to that when they have problems so that they won't have to feel their pain. The song was named after Chi Cheng from the Deftones. We named it after him because he used to call it reggae, and he loves reggae music.

Lost

Song Meaning, Jonathan:

It's the sterotypical thing about your best friend meeting a chick, and then you're nothing

Swallow

Song Meaning, Jonathan:

That's about being paranoid. Drug-induced paranoia.

Good God

Song Meaning, Jonathan:

It's about a guy I knew in school who I thought was a my friend, but who f**ked me. He came into my life with nothing, hung out at my house, lived off me, and made me do sh*t I didn't really wanna do." "I was into new romantic music and he was a mod, and he'd tell me if I didn't dress like a mod he wouldn't be my friend anymore."

"Whenever I had plans to go on a date with a chick he'd sabotage it, because he didn't have a date or nothing. He was a gutless f**king nothing. I haven't talked to him for years.

Mr. Rogers

Song Meaning, Jonathan:

Back in the day when I was a speed freak, um... even further back when I was a little kid watchin' Mr. Rogers, that sh*t was scary. He was a freaky old man... Land of Makebelieve and Mr. f**kinMcFeely and sh*t... made me sick. So back when I was doing speed, like for 5 or 6 days I'd be trippin out and my brain would start to get freaky and get schizophrenic and stuff, and I'd tape it and watch it everyday over and over... I don't know, I was sick in the head. As a kid he told me to be polite and all it did was get me picked on. I f**king hate that man. Thanks for making me polite and trusting everyone, and easy to take advantage of. So I spent 3 months on that one song, just tweakin' on it, and it was totally just my Mr. Rogers obsession, about how evil I thought he was. Pretty much drug induced.

K @ # Ø % (Kunt)

Song Meaning, Jonathan:

People think it's sexist but it isn't. It's more subconcious b*tching at all the women who've been with me in my life. It's not about women in feneral, just those women who hurt me." "Initially, we wrote it to send to American radio for a joke, because they always chop up all the other songs. So we were going to send a 'real' single seven days later."

A.D.I.D.A.S.

Song Meaning, Jonathan:

It stands for all day I dream about sex. It's about how much of a pervert my ass is, and how I daydream about what a stud I am. But when it comes down to it, I'm a f**king pussy and I'm in there jacking off.

a** Itch

Song Meaning, Jonathan:

That was the last song I wrote, and I was so burned at writing out lyrics because everytime I write I get depressed because I start thinking about things, you know? So the whole song is about that. In the chorus it says, 'Before day, my sun will be dying'. It's because I put myself on the line all the time and for what? Because people aren't going to be listening to it anyway.

Kill You

Song Meaning, Jonathan:

It's about a relative I first met when I was 12. I f**king hate that b*tch. She's the most evil, f**ked up person I've met in my whole life. She hated my guts. She did everything she could to make my life hell. Like, when I was sick she'd feed me tea with Tabasco, which is really hot pepper oil. She'd make me drink it and say, 'You have to burn that cold out, boy'. f**ked up sh*t like that. So every night when I'd go to sleep, I'd dream of killing that b*tch. In some sick way I had a sexual fantasy about her, and I don't know what that stems from or why, but I always dreamt about f**king her and killing her

Ball Tongue

Song Meaning, Jonathan:

The meaning of ball tongue is simple. Some thought it had to do with oral sex, but in fact its about a guy we had to work with on a t-shirt (Jeff Creath). He either had a pierced tongue or a wart or something on his tongue and he was a dick to us.

Different live: Jonathan goes into a Rap (by Coolio) Called "Loddi Doddi" in the middle of the song.

Clown

Song Meaning, Jonathan:

Korn was playing a show in San Diego for a clothing card. This skinhead guy came up and started flippin' me off. When we started, I bent down and the guy took a swing at me. Our tour manager, Jeff, got into it and knocked the guy out. I wrote this song about him: 'Scared to be honest with yourself/you're a cowardly man.

Faget

Song Meaning, Jonathan:

Everyone thinks I'm bashing gay people in this song, and I'm not. It's really about me going through high school being called 'pussy,' 'queer' and all that stuff, about getting picked on by all these jocks.

Shoots and Ladders

Song Meaning, Jonathan:

It was written because all these little kids sing these nursery rhymes and they don't know what they originally meant. Everyone is so happy when singing but 'London Bridge' is about the Black Plague. All of them have these evil stories behind them." "The lyrics are all from nursery rhymes, and a lot of nursery rhymes go back to the Middle Ages. They're actually pretty twisted if you know the stories behind them, like about Black Death and stuff.

Helmet in the Bush

Song Meaning, Jonathan:

It's about a speed problem that I had. You know, you do a lot of speed and -- if you're a male -- your penis retracts severly. The guy heard at the beginning of the song is La Caco, a friend of the band. His real name is Michael and likes taco bell. He's a really Nice Guy and he has been friends with the band for years

Daddy

Song Meaning, Jonathan:

People think daddy' was writen because my dad f**ked me up the ass,thats not what the song's about. It wasn't about my dad or my mum. When I was a kid I was being abused by someone else and I went to my parents and told them about it. and they thought I was lying and joking around, they never did sh*t about it. They didn't belive it was happening to their son. I don't like to talk about that song, this is the most I've ever talked about it...

[azogwhoreignerstilinski]

Watching S1 of Teen Wolf

Episode 6

DAAAAMN THAT CHASE SCENE IN THE PARKING LOT-

Scott here being a SMART protagonist and gtfo-ing as soon as he could. Him getting caught cuz of Allison tho- i laUGHED. Derek is also such a stereotypical older brother lol.

Also Derek's bunny teeth.

OOP HE SMASH DA PHONE!!

Lmao Scott is a fucking LIAR- HE CANT STOP THINKING WITH HIS DICK FOR A SECONDD

Yes, i skipped the sex scene. Music is good tho. Except for the loudest motherfucking kissing. Im dying. Make it endddd

Oh hey, scott is actually being made to participate with the wolfy stuff finally.

Also more Kate (sarcastic yay) srsly tho- her two facedness is *mwah chefs kiss

When Scott jumps out the window all i can think of is "how are these kids not being caught all the time?" Like hes just so LOUD.

And he also immediately proves me wrong because at the start he was smart and ran the second something sus happened, but then he just assumes this mysterious werewolf is Derek KNOWING THERES A MURDEROUS ALPHA ON THE LOOSE.

I was so happy to see Peter that i didnt mind that much tho.

This scene when scott gets home is hilarious because if you have your brightness all the way up, you can SEE Derek just sittin there. Also props to Derek for knowing about Scott sneaking out but not even caring about Allison lol. How long was he just sitting in this kids room tho??

Also Derek Hale is a shit liar and thats hilarious to me cuz hes out here sussing people out when they lie but when he does it its super obvious.

Scott: You cant ask me to trust you and then keep things to yourself

Derek: Watch me (leaves through the front door like a nooooob)

Awwww pouty stiles!

Stiles is just not able to resist info about Derek tho lol (careful dude, your bi is showing) honestly same

Also this entire ep is just Pack Mom Stiles energy

Lydia's face when she sees the wolf tho lmaooo. This girl is TRAUMATISED

Scott hides from Allison while Stiles has to sort out all his werewolf drama for him and i just-

All this scallison is just getting in the way of me enjoying the show and i feel so bad but omfg. Theres just so much

Jacksons face when he sees scott being pelted thoooo- what a relatable bitch. I was laughing too.

If only Stiles could put "raised a werewolf child" on his resume. Stiles and Derek are coparents, you cant change my mind.

Stiles calling out sexism about the whole "women make you weak thing" is just yeasss.🔥🔥🔥

And Jacksons whole mirror scene? Peak creeps, 10/10. Reminded me of Draco Malfoy. Him and Allison's heart to heart was kinda touching. But then you know, he pulled the creep out so-

Stiles' eyeroll to Scalliso in Coach Cupcake's class looool. K the hand holding was kinda cute ngl, good job scallison. Stiles is just done tho lol. He's so over it too and hes Scotts best friend😂😂

The car key scene has me cringing and giggling at the same time omfg.

Oh before i forget

OMG PETERRR Ohhh the IRONY IN THIS SCENE- and also poor bby Derek, all alone in this world. Peter lifting his finger as Derek leaves, RIGHT AFTER he says he cant wait lol. Peter is such a bastard tho lol cuz he coulda lifted his finger if he wanted, but he didnt pfft- guess he only has energy for killing people right now. Think its meant to add to the MysTerY. I think this is the cuddliest Peter has ever looked and i am here for it.

Derek: I can take him. But i need to find him first

Peter:... You can't kill me im a bad bitch

That detention scene, did they like fake the heart to heart to make the teacher uncomfy? Or was it meant to be genuine? Im going with the first one, because i think its better lol. But i think even if they faked it to get outta detention they both meant some of it.

DEREK NO HES A DOCTOR WTF ARE YOU DOING-

Also Derek says if hes unconcious he cant stop himself from healing? But he was just unconcious??? And Dr. Deaton didnt heal??? Also everytime Scott and Derek fight they're actually just like estranged brothers. Sam and Dean if they only met in Season 3 lol.

STILES' FACE EVERYTIME DEREK IS ON SCREEN-

Scott howling is so funny like howl no1 is yowling and howl no2 is roaring. Bitch really cant howl for shit- what is he??? Werewolf of werelion?? First he sounds like a kitten then he sounds like a lion.

(Me watching Stiles hype Scott up) Fellas, is it gay to know how to attract Alpha males?

Oh no Derek is 'dead'.

BUT PETER IS HERE!!!

Anyway, thanks for reading through the rambling, all of this is of course personal opinion and takes, but i might make this a whole thing.

[nebraska-is-a-myth]

Drown your sorrows - part 7

Grab your tissues dude, this one is not a happy one at all. I'm sorry in advanced

special shout out to my pal @hufflepuffkilljoy for helping me with some details for this chapter. I also feel like they’re going to kill me after reading this so wish me luck.

Masterlist

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Tommy is fortunate enough to stay conscious this time.

It's a lot warmer than the warehouse was and he's still just as afraid.

But he feels more prepared for the heat now.

Tubbo was so close to the first explosion, too close. Tommy watches the blast separate them and he can hear his friends desperate coughs from across the burning room. He can't get up, his wrist is hurt and his injured leg burns every time he tries to put pressure on it. He calls for Tubbo but he doesn't think his friend can hear him between his endless coughing and the roaring flames.

He's so thankful Tubbo isn't alone when Eret finally shows, the older man slips masks on both of them and they huddle together for a moment before Tommy hears something explode below them. He tries to cling to Eret as he reaches for Tubbo and they all plummet down into freezing water.

He and Eret sink into the water and the harshness of it makes Tommy gasp. 

Water seeps in through his mask and the tightness of it makes him panic

He attempts to take the mask off, as if that might make him less disorientated.

It's doesn't

He takes a big gulp of water into his mouth and suddenly he can't stop.

He's drowning.

His limbs flail about and he cant help but scream into the water as pain ruptures through him. He keeps taking in more and more water and his lungs spasm as they fill with murky liquid. Tommy doesn't know where he is, it's dark and cold and he doesn't know which way is up and if his body wasn't already submerged in water he thinks he might cry.

Tommy doesn't want to die

There are so many things he hasn't done yet, so many things he hasn't said.

He wanted to take Tubbo to his favorite place in the city and go adventuring through the abandoned buildings Dream used to let him demolish when he was angry or upset. He wanted to tell his best friend in the whole word that he loved him, that they were brothers until the end. He never really had the courage to say it before now, thought it would make him sound childish and weird. ( Really he was just afraid that Tubbo wouldn't feel the same, and he wasn't ready to let his best friend go just yet. )

He wanted to thank Wilbur for taking him into l’manburg, for trusting him and becoming the older brother figure he never thought he needed ( or wanted ). For teaching him how to properly aim a gun and negotiate something without shouting, for letting him become the heir to the empire they built. 

He thinks about all the movie nights with fundy and Eret, remembers popcorn fights and sleepovers, baking competitions and playing video games till early dawn. He remembers waking up from nightmares and talking to Eret about his scars, sharing the good and the bad with each and every one of them.

As the seconds roll past, Tommy can feel himself suffocating. His lungs fill with more and more water and his body starts to shut down, the pain is everywhere and nowhere and slowly he becomes blissfully aware that he is going to die here.

In the back of his mind he hopes that dream knows he’s forgiven. If he’s going to die he might as well forgive the man, he knows deep down that dream never wanted any of this and he hopes that his death will spark something in the man, and prevent the bloodshed of his friends.

The last thing on Tommys mind before the darkness swallows him is Technoblade, and he wonders if he’ll finally see him again when he goes to sleep.

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“How old were you when you first killed someone?”

“Jeezus Tubbo what the hell dude.”  

Tommy swats at his best friend who's laying next to him on the wooden floor. They're all laying on piles and blankets and duvets and tucked up in sleeping bags like campers. Popcorn crumbs litter the floor and Tubbo has kernels stuck in his hair after he used the bowl as protection from Tommy throwing pillows at him.

The group decided to have a sleepover to commemorate Wilbur's birthday, all of them laid in a circle around the couches in wilburs living room and Wilbur almost regrets letting them into his house.

Tommy and Tubbo are layed on the floor, heads close to each other facing opposite directions. Tommy is smiling as he flails his arms at the other boy and has his feet resting in Erets lap. Fundy is on Erets left, curled up in 3 blankets like a burrito, a clear sign of Wilburs handiwork after someone made a joke about fundy being wilburs child.

Wilbur himself is half paying attention to the movie they all put on as background noise as he tries not to look like he’s actually enjoying the night his boys had planned.

Nobody spoke at first, no one was really quite sure what to say. Eventually, Wilbur took a breath and spoke in a slight monotone. “fifteen.”

Even though they may have been concerned, nobody was quite as surprised as maybe they should have been. It was a rough line of work, it wasn't really a shock to anyone that their leader had started so young.

“Robbery gone wrong, cops came earlier than expected. Shot one to save myself, nothing more to it.”

Fundy pokes his head out of his blanket burrito a little more and rests his head on his knees. “Got in a fight back in the Netherlands when I was eighteen, ended badly for the other guy.”

Eret is a bit more hesitant to respond but with a reassuring nudge from Tommy, he gives the teen a small smile and takes a breath. “Got involved with a super serious gang back in England when I was sixteen.”

He doesn't say anything more but nobody really blames him. Eret never really talks about his time back in England much, but the team sees the way he gets nervous around cameras and always makes sure he can never be traced wherever he goes. Everyone is running from something, it's why most of them came to America after all.

Tommy doesn't realize it's his turn until he’s noticed everyone's looking at him.

He laughs and swats at Tubbo for a second time. “It's your question you go first.”

Tubbo looks at his friend strangely but shakes it off and reaches to grab a handful of crisps. “Ummm, technically I haven't.”

Tommy listens to his best friend shove a handful of crisps in his mouth and his throat goes dry, he only distantly hears Fundy ask Tubbo a question but his thoughts seem to drown everyone out. 

He knows he has two options here. He knows that lying is the safest one for him, that he could just follow along with what Tubbo said and just get it over with. But he feels compelled to let the truth just spill out of his mouth and let everything into the world. He can't help it when the words start falling from his lips, he so desperately wants to shove everything back into the box he’s kept everything in for years and go back to the fun loving, annoying Tommy everyone knows.

But instead he just had to open his stupid mouth like he always does.

“I uhh, I killed mum.”

Shit

Shit

Shit

“She uhh, bled out, when I was born.”

Shut up

Shut up

Shut up

“So yeah uhh, I guess I win.”

The room is silent, and he’s brought out of his head by Eret rubbing small comforting circles into the bottom of his leg.

“Tommy.”

He really wishes he hadn't spoke

“You know that couldn't have possibly been your doing.”

Wow the ceiling is really interesting

“Tommy.”

He can't speak. If he speaks he’s going to cry and he can't cry. 

Tommyinnit doesn't cry.

He feels Tubbo moving to wrap and arm around him and he really wants to just not be here.

He’s lying on the floor of his bosses friends house, crying in front of the people he cares about most about because he couldn't keep his fucking mouth shut.

Tommy feels himself moving and slowly more and more arms are around him. He feels a blanket being draped over him and suddenly he finds himself sobbing into someone's chest.

Someone is running their hand through his hair and he wonders if that's something his mother would have done for him.

Sometimes he wishes life was different, that maybe he might have had a better childhood if his mother had been in his life for longer than three seconds.

But as he feels his own tears soak into one of his friends' shirts, he thinks that maybe his life ain't so bad.

And later in the night when he's stood on Wilbur's kitchen counter with Erets glasses hanging off his face singing loudly to random Hamilton songs with his friends, he knows he wouldn't change it for the world.

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Tommy wakes up confused and coughing.

He can feel the water spluttering out of his mouth and he feels like he's throwing up his organs.

He’s vividly aware that something doesn't feel right

He feels wrong and disorientated and,,,

He’s underwater?

Tommy flails his limbs about and in a matter of seconds he surfaces into darkness

He coughs up all of the water that's been sloshing about in his lungs and his throat stings as fresh air floods into his body.

Through all the coughing and the sound of water in his ears, he hears a voice calling him.

“Tommy!”

He turns his head to find Eret also treading water on the other side of a mountain of rubble, he has a large gash on the side of his head that looks like it would have dried by now if not for the water continuously splashing against it. His glasses are nowhere to be seen and Erets looking at him like he knows something Tommy doesn't.

“Tommy thank god you're okay.”

Tommy swims over to where Eret is still floating and takes a moment to examine the rubble surrounding his friend. 

Most of it seems to be concrete and rocks piled up around him, but the two big metal pipes separating him and Eret are what concern him. And the fact that Eret hasn't made an attempt to move past them.

"Where's tubbo?"

"He swam over that direction, tried to find a way out I think."

"Why didn't you follow him."

"Tommy."

"Come on we can't just leave him to look on his own. He'd get lost in a bloody parking lot."

Tommy wraps his hands around one of the pipes and attempts to push it out of the way.

Eret doesn't move.

"Tommy I,"

"Waters rising, gotta move this thing before Tubbo ends up swimming into someone's toilet."

The younger boy changed angles and tried to pull the other pipe towards him.

"Tommy."

He feels Eret place his hand on top of his own but the younger boy swats it away and keeps trying to force the pipes out of the way.

“Come on man, just, just try.”

Eret grabs his hand again.

“Just help me okay!”

Water splashes up Tommys nose and he feels tears pricking at his eyes

“Just, Just do something! Please! please” 

Eret grabs a hold of both of tommys hands and holds him as close as the barrier of rubble will let him.

“Please. I can't lose you too.”

Erets voice is soft and calming. Tommy wants him to laugh and point at him and tell him how this is all just a big joke and they can all go home together and watch movies on Wilburs couch.

But he doesn't

“Hey it's okay, you're not gonna lose me alright. I will always, always be with you, no matter what.”

“Don't give me that bullshit. I don't want you in my heart or looking down on me, I want you to stay here, alive.”

“I want that too Tommy, more than anything. But life doesn't always go the way we want it to.”

Eret coughs and shivers in the water, he looks up and realizes that neither of them have a lot of time left before the water fills the room. They both know Tommy can't stay here any longer, and it's only a matter of time before the coldness of the water gives him hypothermia.

“You need to go.”

“No.”

“Tommy.”

“No I am not leaving you here!”

“You don't have a choice Tommy!”

“Yes I do! Now help me move these goddamn pipes”

“For fuck sake Tommy! I am stuck down here! Those pipes aren't going to move and I'm not leaving this fucking basement. You need to go, now!”

“I-”

“Tommy you are my brother and I will always love you but you need to get the fuck out of here right now.”

“Tommy, Eret!”

“Down here.”

Eret hears Wilbur jump down into the freezing water and he can faintly see him swimming towards him and Tommy.

“You guys okay?”

“Yes now get him out of here.”

“I said no!”

“What about you.”

“I'll be fine just go.”

Wilbur takes a moment, a moment of weakness, a moment of emotion and sadness and he looks at Eret, his friend. He feels the water clog his nostrils and nods, with his heart heavy and his mind full, he drags a tired and freezing Tommy away.

“Wilbur let me go!”

“We can't leave him!”

“we have to help him!”

“Wilbur!”

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Later on when everyone's safe and dry and the adrenaline and panic has left his system, Wilbur finds himself gazing up at his reflection in his bathroom mirror. Every time he looks at himself all he can see is the look in his friends eyes before he left him to drown, he remembers the hurt in his face and his willingness to die just to see Tommy safe. Every time he closes his eyes it's all he sees.

Wilbur stands up tall and strong in front of himself and plasters on the face of a warrior, a face that dream and George and sapnap will forever fear. He vows on this day that he will teach them what true fear feels like, no more kind words or friendly disputes.

He doesn't care about making allies or keeping peace.

His city is in danger

His mind is broken

His friends are traumatized

Eret is dead

And Wilbur wants vengeance.

If dream wants war, he’ll give him war.

[blueaura]

Lost and Found Ch. 8

A/N: Hello again! This chapter is a little shorter than the last couple of chapters but I hope you enjoy it nonetheless. Thank you for the feedback on the last chapter, it means a lot. Also, I’m making a seperate tag list for people who would like to be tagged in all of my supernatural stuff (one shots, dabbles, other series etc.), so let me know if you want to get on that. Also, Also - if any of you have any requests for one-shots or the like, I’d love to do that. Thanks to everyone who’s read and re-blogged it this far. As always, any tips and suggestions are welcome. Feedback would be amazing. Thank you and happy reading!

Summary: Sam and Dean meet a young hunter who is a little rough around the edges and they reluctantly take her under their wing. But she might be a little more connected to them that any of them realise. 

Word Count: 1.8k

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7

Chapter 8

To Dean it felt like it took forever.

He watched Cas’s hand glow as if he were healing her, not even daring to breathe. Sam stood beside his brother in support. Cas had his eyes closed in concentration. Dean was looking worriedly at Y/N but she didn’t look like she was in any pain. He trusted Cas with his life and knew he would never knowingly hurt Y/N, but worrying came naturally to him and he had to make sure she was safe. There was an instinct there that he was usually used to associating with just his brother.  

Cas had only wanted to see her soul but as soon as he put his hand on her, he was bombarded with her memories. Her thoughts, her pain, her experiences – they were so loud. He had never felt so crippled by a human mind before. He was surprised by the intense anger he felt on her behalf. The girl didn’t seem to harbour much anger herself – there simply wasn’t any place for it beneath the fear, uncertainty, loneliness and hurt. He saw her memories like he had once seen Dean’s when he pulled him out from hell. Once he was sucked in, he couldn’t get out until she let him even though he felt like he was somehow violating her privacy. But, if he ever had any doubt that there was a part of Dean Winchester in this girl, the burning determination underneath everything else would have been enough to remove it. Even without seeing her soul, shining as brightly as her father’s.

Y/N was expecting pain even after Cas assured her that there wouldn’t be any. What she was not expecting was the warmth. It felt like she was bundled in the softest blanket and nothing could hurt her as long as she stayed in the cocoon of that warmth. It was bright light and hope and love and like nothing she had ever felt before. She almost didn’t want to let it go but she could feel the sensation trying to pull away from her. She chased it until she couldn’t. She didn’t know how long had passed before she came back to Earth, so to speak.

Cas’s hand slid from her forehead down to her cheek momentarily.

“I’m sorry for the hard life you’ve had Y/N. You are truly an incredible human being and I vow to protect you to the best of my ability from here on. I shall not let any harm befall you.”

The intensity of his words surprised her but she didn’t say anything. Dean, on the other hand, balked at the words.

“Wait, what just happened?” he asked, looking from Cas to Y/N and back again.

“What’s with the vow of protection? Is this some kind of Twilight imprinting bullshit?!” Dean’s voice grew more hysterical with every word, making Y/N muffle a snort.

“Dude, why the hell do you even know what that is?” Sam asked incredulously. Dean ignored him in favour of glaring at his friend.

Cas turned away from Y/N to give Dean his best imitation of Sam’s bitchface.

“No, Dean. I didn’t imprint on your daughter. I can assure you I have no intention of mating with her,” Cas sarcastically dead-panned, which would have normally impressed and even amused Dean but his brain had stopped working at that moment.

Daughter. Daughter.

Fuck.

There was a ringing in his ears. He could hear Sam calling his name, could feel the weight of his hand shaking his shoulder, but everything was muffled – the only thing he could focus on was the fact that he had a fucking daughter.

Of course, he had known it was a possibility – that was the whole damn point of the angelic test, but now… it was real. He was a father. Just like that. In that moment – he fucking hated Sandra.

Sam would have loved to say that Dean reacted maturely and focused on Y/N and didn’t freak out at all, but father or not, he was still Dean Winchester. So, Sam wasn’t all that surprised when instead of making sure his daughter was alright, Dean stormed out in the direction of the shooting range, or so Sam assumed. He knew his brother and he knew that it was how he processed things. Working on his car or shooting stuff was Dean’s way of dealing with the news and Sam was just grateful that he didn’t choose to turn to the bottle instead.

He watched Dean walk off but instead of trying to reason with his brother, he turned towards the other person affected by the news. His niece (Holy shit, he had a niece) was frozen in place, her eyes not really focused on anything. Cas looked at him worriedly and Sam realised that Cas hadn’t meant to drop the news in such a way. He smiled at him reassuringly, and walked to where Y/N was still standing.

Instead of calling out to her, he gently guided her to the library and made her sit down on a chair. She didn’t react at her which didn’t necessarily surprise Sam but worried him nonetheless. Cas brought a glass of water from the kitchen and Sam quickly thanked him before setting it down on the table and kneeling in front of Y/N.

“Kiddo? Hey Y/N, are you alright?” he instinctively asked and winced. Of course, she wasn’t alright. Her entire world had just turned on its head.

“Y/N, you with me?” he tried instead.

She looked at him without really seeing him. He had to repeat the question a couple of times before he even saw a hint of acknowledgement in her eyes. He waited patiently until she finally shakily nodded her head.

Her throat was dry. She reached for the glass of water blindly. Sam quickly picked it up and placed it in her waiting hands, watching as she took small sips.

“Where’s…” she trailed off, sipping at the water again just to have something to do.

“Probably in the shooting range. He’s… processing. But I guess so are you,” he said uncertainly.

“You have a shooting range?” She was clearly avoiding the big elephant in the room, but Sam didn’t take the bait.

“I’ll show you later,” he dismissed the topic change expertly. “How are you holding up?”

“You mean after learning that my mother lied to me my entire life?” she spat out. Sam winced at the tone but ignored the hostility, only squeezing her shoulder in response. She deflated at the lack of a fight. He simply waited.

“I don’t know,” she said finally. “I wasn’t expecting… I know you were all but convinced but I wasn’t. San- my mother always gave me the impression that my father was dead. Until a few minutes ago, I didn’t even have distant relatives that I could call family. Now suddenly, I… I don’t know how to deal with that,” she said, frustration heavily lacing her voice.

Sam noticed the hesitation at her mother’s name and stored that little piece of information for later. His heart went out to her, it truly did.

“Look, I can’t even begin to imagine being in your position right now. Or Dean’s, for that matter. Hell, I’m still reeling from the fact that I have a niece, and I’m not even the one directly affected by this! So, I cant tell you how to feel or what to do. That’s up to you. What I can tell you is that you’re family now, Y/N. That word has way more weightage in this household than it probably does anywhere else. So, whatever you’re going through, you won’t be alone. I’m here, Cas is here and when he eventually gets over his little temper tantrum, Dean will be here too,” Sam smiled wryly.

Y/N chuckled a little even as emotion clogged her throat, shaking her head at Sam’s attempt at levity. She was suddenly pulled into the tightest hug by Sam, but this time she refused to cry. She’d had way too many breakdowns in the past few days and she’d ignore the stinging in her eyes and the burn in her throat if it was the last thing she did.

Instead, she sniffled into Sam’s plaid shirt, realising this was the second time in as many days that she was in this position. She chuckled at that, and instead of pulling away burrowed herself deeper into the comfort of the embrace.

Sam squeezed her tighter and kissed the top of her head. This was his niece. He was a fucking uncle! What did uncles even do? She was probably too old for toys. He also didn’t see much pranks in their future, at least for a little while. He could teach her he supposed. She clearly needed education and didn’t seem particularly thrilled about any form of formal institution. Yes, he would be the brainy uncle, who answered all the questions. He could do that.

Eventually, she pulled away. Seeing the hopeful expression on Sam’s face, she managed a weak smile at him, trying to tell him that she would be alright.

“I think I’m going to get some sleep and… process all of this. Let me know if De-Dean comes back soon,” she stumbled a little, not entirely sure what to call Dean anymore. Was ‘Dean’ inappropriate? It was way too soon for anything remotely in the ‘Dad’ ballpark. She put it away as a problem for later, not wanting to deal with the headache that accompanied thinking about her new family.

“Yea- yeah! No issues, kid. Get some rest. Dean will probably be a couple of hours. Cas already went to him earlier. He’s good at making Dean sort through things. I’ll probably head over there myself in a few,” he said assuredly.

“What’s up with that anyway?” she asked, her earlier curiosity making it harder for her to keep her mouth shut.

“What’s up with what?” Sam sounded confused.

“Cas and Dean?”

Understanding dawned on Sam’s face, immediately replaced with a look of long-suffering exasperation. Y/N giggled at that, making Sam smile subconsciously at the sound.

“If you ever figure it out, let me know,” he sighed and with a last kiss to her head, walked away.

Y/N shook her head and walked up to her room. She once again took stock of all the things that supposedly belonged to her. The mattress was the softest she’d ever slept on. She had her own freaking room. She had food to eat and clothes to wear and a couple of guys who cared more for her than what she thought she was worth.

Maybe, just maybe, this wasn’t so bad.

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