#dude its ok im literally jsut the same | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

gayspock · 3 months

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ok whatever

i feel s fucking disconnected i feel like im crazy whenever im withpeople i cant even trickmyself into feeling like im on the same plane of existence and cant fucking understand any of it i cannotfucking care. i fucking hate being so alone but i dont fucking care any more and its toomuch i cant handle and yep yep yep im not fuckign "enough" to fucking fight it or whatever the fuck thatmeans but i dont fucking care because no matter what its never going tomake a damn difference . and i dont know i keep fuckingwanting it so badly and thats the conceit of it all fucking losing my mind . trying but i dontknow whats wrong with me or whats so fucking funny about me . and when im trying.something something . rejection is one thing . i get it and i expect it now or just whatever but. idontknow what else to do though i feel like i always jsutburn myself out triyng to be part of peoples lives and howevermuch i care itsjust a joke its always just a fucking joke and it never makes a difference and i jsut fucking recede and it never matters when i do that either or whatever i jsut i want to feel fucking tangible but i dont know what to do anymore because i feel so fucking alien all the fucking timelike everyone. fucking. talks. about. loneliness oh im so fucking alone i dontfucking know i want to punch them when theyvehad partners when they talk to their family wqhen literally fucking anything jsut fucking anything i just want to have someonefucking know i exist in some fucking capacity liek i spend months, years without fuckinganyhting and even before then what . i odnt know. i used to come home from schoolcrying because i just wanted to be taken seriously but i feel like peoepl just always included me cuz i was kind of a funny joke at worst and incidental at best like we'll never rremember you, you'll never be invited to anything, we'll neve rbring you along, we'll never include you in the same way we remember everyone else. theres a point of like i know im meant to ask . sometimes i can get that.but i dont know. why do i alwayshave to do that why is it always exerting so much time and energy when ihavenothing left any morre to ty and force myself into peoples lives . when the others dont. when nobody else in that situation had to try and fucking make it happen. when i dont think they want me there ever. and i just wantthat to be fucking wanted in some way to fucking exist in soem capacity that isnt me in my own fucking head going nuts . like oh we rememberedyou in the same way everyone else is a part of this but even that its like. i dontknow even thats so . so fucking dumb and fucdking hard to fucking everconceive of those once in every so many years occurences that happen less and less. its so mortifying crying about it all like that . somethimng soething. you know when reality kicksin again cuz you realise THAT. the shit that you used to fucking sobabout for hours and hours at night cuz u felt so fucking alone and isolated all the fucking time was the best it was ever going to be and the easiest it was ever going to be.

and its just so much fuckingharder to ever do it now because i know at our age nobodys ever going to have the time or patience to deal with afucking headcase and i go to work and italk to people and i jsut feel people fucking laughing at me and i go to spaces and i feel myself seizingup. even the places where you think itmight be easier more accepting. the "theyre all alone there must be something wrong with them" laughsthat you get the fact you dont have anything inyour life any more you dont have anything to talk about youre just nothing but a fucking whole bunch of failures. andits like i cant ezxpect it right i cant expect anyone to like me and its not fair to cry atpeople for not liking me when its jsut like . dude youre just annoying and a loser and its not that deep but yeah it means youjre gonna be alone a nd i odnt know i cant talk straight any more and imso exhausted all the time andim getting more tired and theres nothing and yourwhole life is eaten up bytrying to stay afloatikeep thinking about whats going to happen how its always on the precipice howi dont have enough in me to fget through anything how one bad thing can happen and it can set me back months, years because i cantmanage it on my own but what else is ther ei cant do anything i keep trying things they just fucking mean nothing i feel like i go home on my own and spiral and i just reallydo want help and peoplejsut tell you to ask for it but then when you do itdoes nothing and idont understand how it jsut happens for otherpeople how they can just . even find some asort of connection i cant fucking read anytihng about it i feel like whenever i do experiencde media with someone talking about their loneliness even then theres something fucking tethering them some fucking distant fucking connection i fele like im going fucking nuts im kidding i always say that who cares i havent had a conversation with someone in years i think ive had more birthdays alone than ive ever had with another person i cant manage to do anything but spiral i kepegetting angry at everyone and idont know theres a part of me that feels sick with myself theres anotherpart of me that jsut wants to let it happen cuz what does it matter its never going to matter even if im mad its funny topeople its a fucking funnnyyyyyy joke in the end if they even notice at all and i just dont know what i do wrong i dont know because even when i go back and i analyse everything over and overagain its nothing its just always just the. yourejust not fucking enough for anyhting youre just not enough wevn when you give your all you cant do anything right i cant do anything right and fair enoughryeah like fair enough nobody stays for that because what do you give topeople you can care but eveyrone can fucking careand at the end of the day youre just a burden blah blahj balh i feel fucking crazyyyysmile gorgeous smile

#egg.txt

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lucatorahaven · 4 years

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vampire au post

4 skype convos haphazardly mixed in from very different times

[29/11/2014 4:27:51 AM] Probably Not Assorted Cheeses: Vampire au

Lucas the incompetent vampire who eats mostly animals

Duster was the one who bit him, only bc duster was literally starving n lucas came at a bad time

idk if duster should be born a vampire or not but Wes is one too and together they taught lucas how to survive.

however eventually they had to leave, they offered for lucas to join them but lucas can’t leave his family behind, the kid’s too sentimental :’(

so together they staged his death (which im too lazy to try n think of)

claus knew bout the vampire thing tho, lucas couldn’t live alone like that. He also ended up biting Boney in an accident so hey vampire dog.

claus grew up and eventually had his own family. Lucas could only really watch from afar but then the kids got his age and it was hard to see him and keep the gig up. He visited his parents funeral anonymously and afterwards him and claus stood there just

“sup” “how’re the kids” “twice your age and with kids of their own” “heh, i always thought you would be the one with kids yano?”

it was very bittersweet, it felt like they’ve never been apart

“it never stops feeling strange without you” "I know”

lucas thinks of that conversation a lot

he started off the "younger uncle" then the "weird neighbourhood kid that visits grandpa claus" and inevitably the "weird kid from nowhere who goes to the cemetary every other month to put flowers on graves older than appears to be"

SO without attachments lucas traveled with boney, hoping that they find duster along the way.

eventually lucas comes back to tazmilly but it’s been a couple hundred years now and it’s completely different so he doesn’t recognize it

n lucas one day is caught outside with no shelter, it’s almost morning so he runs into osohe (which is way outta town so he assumed it was abandoned)

vampires can’t enter homes without being invited in because apparently homes are holy land but osohe is fuckn haunted so that doesn’t apply (adding on to the abandoned theory)

that’s how kumatora and him meet, she finds him exploring osohe all “wtf the fuck who are YOU...this me house”

So she gets an awkward lie explanation from lucas

n she eventually catches on lucas is a vampire n is just DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUDE I NEVER MET A VAMPIRE BEFORE FUCKN SWEET

lucas is just UM.;;; IS IT OK IF I STAY

"oh dude it's cool!! but u gotta tell me bout yourself bc i never met a vampire before ok?? i live iN THE PERFECT GOTHIC HOME BUT THERE’S NONE!! but here you are and i’m JACKED i gotta go to work tho so brb but afterwards u gotta tell me about yourself ok CYA"

lucas is still processing everything by the time she leaves, but he’s grateful and figures a conversation is the least he can do to repay her

in this au kumatora’s into cryptology bc her house is FULL of books and it’s a common subject (also the fact her castle is filled with ghosts and there are zombies just across the moat, it’s a p convenient hobby)

when she comes back she’s super excited because he’s still there

lucas is kinda reserved but he still answers questions bc it’s POLITE

she asks bout p much everything?? “HEY do you need that” “y-yes” “is this true?” “not that i know of” “ok experiment time” “uH;;” “wait am i keeping you up?? it’s still daytime” “no it’s okay”

after exhausting lucas of all his Vampire Facts kuma invites lucas to live at osohe castle, it’s big enough anyways

lucas is wary af bc he doesn't wanna accidentally get close to someone who 1. has a life span and 2. is technically food

but lucas ends up sticking around anyways, boney really likes it and he lowkey enjoys her company

so they keep chillin n lucas tells her how he hunts animals n how he only takes a bit of blood so they don't die and

IDK I GO BY THE THEORY THAT VAMPIRES HAVE VENOM bc otherwise their entire food source becomes COMPETITION n they can bite but not?? TURN THEM INTO ANYTHIng so controlled blood flow for feeding purposes

also vampires only need to eat once or twice a month? they die around 6+ months without eating from starvation. It all depends on how quickly the blood cells in their body die basically.

ALSO when they bite you it doesn’t hurt bc their saliva numbs it so (sneaky bites) but it still feels weird as shit

bUT YA SO LUCAS N KUMATORA CHAt a whole bunch...you know that “accidentally get close” thing i mentioned? it happened

(it was kinda hard to avoid when the first companion you have that’s not your dog is informed on vampires and vampire goods, that was convenient)

so they keep hangin out and kumatora unlocks his Tragic Backstory

n sometimes kumatora helps him feed? like they go out together finding animals n storing blood

n lucas is fascinated with how technology has advanced bc he doesn't really?? go into towns anymore but he fuckn LOVES it

n they play video games n general COOL FUNTIMES

kumatora let’s lucas borrow her labtop to occupy himself and he looks for other vampires or hints of them

(this is under the assumption that osohe can get electricity in a modern au while still being ignored / abandoned)

n when kumatora goes to work he cleans up the castle n tries to show how much hE REALLY APPRECIATES HEr

n lIKE i also go by the logic that vampires do not do the stereotypical “turn into ashes at sunlight” it is a slow progression that takes up to 12 hours until absolutely turned to a crisp

so basically if he covers himself and wears a shit ton of sunscreen he can chill in the middle of the day for like...a hour or two

and bc kumatora's WORTH IT he visits her at work n she's all LucAS WHAT ARe yO U DoING??

lookin like a modern goth kid......has a huge red burn on his cheek..

he blames it on how pale/blonde he is “my brother is ginger you know”

kuma gets super worried n he's all bruh it cool i have like..2 more hours until i need to go to a hospital

n kumas jsuT I GET OFF IN 4 HOURS GO HOME

kumatora invites him to movie nights with her friends n shit

people start calling lucas kumatora's goth boyfriend “never call him that when he's around or i'll murder you”

theyre all rather cool with lucas and find his speech kinda funny?

"wow look at those teeny boppers" "GET A LOAD OF THIS GUY GOD I LOVE IT" “???????????????" kumas friends ask for lucas more all WHAT SCHOOL DOES HE GO TO WHERE DOES HE LIVE "oh he's......foreign B)"

eventually it comes up how lucas doesn’t really want to be a vampire anymore and kumatoras just “dude i can help you find a cure” bc maybe her hobby is a bit Excessive but live your dreams

but ya lucas is just?? constantly wants to visit kumatora n loves her night shifts!! visits all the time they go on hikes a lot n jusT? GETS SO FUCKIGN ATTACHED IT SCARES HIM CONSTANTLY

they sometimes fall asleep on the couch together n when he's all "wow shes so cute.." he realizes how fucking Deep he’s in this and he’s FUCKED

he tries to distance himself but he Can’t Fucking Do It (just like w/ his fam)

whenever he tries to push her away she looks so upset it kills him

N HE'S IN SUCH A STRUGGLE BC HE'S JUST

SO HAPPY TO BE AROUND HER??????

N LIKE WHEN THEY CUDDLE N STUFF HE'S JUST SO OVERWHELMED BC oh my god heartbeats!! oh my god she's gonna die before me

n lucas really fucking feels the severity of how FUCKED he is when its her birthday n hes just

yes she's gonna age and he's gonna outlive her n they could never realistically be happy even if by some offhand chance she even RETURNS the feelings

N HE HAS TO HIDE HIS CRYING N STUFF BUT KUMATORA HAS A 6TH FUCKN SENSE FOR DISTRESSED LUCAS SO SHE'S ALL bruh :( whats up

so he opens up to her about his feelings and anxiety and she hugs him through it, it’s kind of a shitty way to confess

“idk if i can forgive you for deciding that i’m gonna die before you” “are you threatening murder” “that and no way death’s gonna get me, i’m pretty stubborn”

a lil while passes

“you know... i’m okay with becoming a vampire” lucas refuses bc dude.. you can’t even comprehend the weight of immortality.. what if she regrets it

“to hell if i make my closest friend suffer because of a life span” “hah i guess that’s the same for me”

they drop the vampire topic for the time being and move on to other ones such as... mutual feelings :^)

they’re both romantically inclined i mean... lucas spent 300+ years being a hermit and kumatora had other things to do

so they take it slow, it’s p much the same as before except.. hey...now when i think “man i wanna hold their hand” i CAN

it'd also be really sad and/or cute if the ghosts in the castle some of them were lucas's family which might be why boney likes it so much but also imagine them kissin on the couch "kuma ghosts r there" "EH THEYRE JUst ghosts" ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) claus looks into the camera "after so long... finally my little brother gets some action :')"

but idk if that’s a thing bc it feels kinda weird i feel like kissin n shit wouldn't b very often bc as much as they both loVE IT

IT'S NOT THAT GREAT FOR A VAMPIRE

YANO.... HEARTS R BEATING... NECK IS RIGHT THERE (lucas still adores it tho)

so back to the topic of Mortality

kuma gets attacked in an alley on the way home from work

n lucas finds her bc they were gonna meet up but he smelt the blood and when he does find her he just goes FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK n didn't know how to save her

also thinking rationally is hard when OH LOOK AT ALL THAT BLOOD AHhaHA

SO HE BITES HER

he carries her body home n he spends the whole waiting process between DEAD and VAMPIRE crying just "hoyl shti please work please work" “what did i fucking dooooo” “what if i was earlier” “what if i was too late” so many anxieties

kuma wakes up and lucas transistions from panic to HAPPY PANIC OH THANK GOD

she’s really out of it bc of the process and he’s crying apologies “it’s okay you saved me” but he’s still crying, they cuddle for comfort

"hey atleast we did it NOW when i'm a hot sexy 19 yr old and not a wrinkly old lady” “kuma” “i’m tryna make light of the conversation”

so now that kumatora’s a vampire she only works night shifts until she eventually quits. They moved to a new town / whatever so it was easy to avoid having to meet someone in the daytime. facebook helped keep in touch with her friends while still letting the friendship die out.

it took kumatora a bit to get used to being a vampire. she threw up a lot at first and she didn’t like having to drink blood but she did eventually get used to it

idk if they find a cure bc idk what the cure would BE but they eventually find other vampires :^) they continued lucas’s search for duster and probably found him tbh

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c0untb00z · 5 years

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I would just like to clear, I don't hate the BBC Dracula 2020 Show. In fact, I actually like the idea of Dracula being set in modern times like in the show, but I would like it a lot better if it wasn't written like a fucking reader insert fanfiction.

Don't get me wrong, I love me some reader inserts every once in a while but they're meant to be on Wattpad. Sometimes, you can find really fucking good fanfictions that could genuinly be movies, but this really just feels like someone wrote an erotic fanfiction for Dracula. It almost reminds me of a worse version of 50 Shades of Grey with less kinky sex.

First and foremost Agatha Van Hesling. I actually kinda liked her personality, how driven she was and determined to never give up, but she was literally created for a love interest. In Dracula by Bram Stocker, Sister Agatha is a nun that nurses Jonathan back to health, claiming he was 'sick in the head' as he ranted of what he had seen and warning others of Dracula. She doesn't even have a last name.

However there is a Dr. Van Hesling in the book, hes dutch(???) Professor that mentors and taught(????) Jack Seward who was in love with Lucy, who was fed off of and eventually killed and eventually undead by the means of the one and only Dracula. Dr Van Hesling plays a large role in the plot of the book. He has an open mind and was able to draw connections between things that some others couldn't, as he had access to more sources and could speak to most off the charecters involved. He's the first person to present the idea of a vampire, and Lucy turning into one. Thanks to Jonathan he was able to identify the vampire feeding on Lucy as Dracula and finds out how to kill the vampires.

So basically Agatha was literally fabricataed for the sole perpose of being there, to fall in love with Dracula or something.

I know we all are horny for Dracula. I'm horny for Dracula. Vampires are fucking hot but the sexiest part of vampires is that they ya know. Kill you and are mercily and heartless. The show does show that in a lot of parts and even decapiates a nun and yeets it into a gaggle of nuns which i fucking died at. But it also, humanizes him way to much, hes literally a monster. The scene in the boat with lord whats his name really portrayed that. It was really,,,, weird cause me being a kinky fucker I don't find the particular phrases of "you're going to need to be quiet now," and " youre doing so well" that creepy and if anything a little hot but looking at the circumstance and the look on that kids face, it was like r e a l y fucked up. Which is why i liked that scene. It showed just how fucked up Dracula is.

To be fair i did like Cleas Bangs acting and casting as Dracula. He had a certain charm that was ever so s l i g h t l y off. I heard people say he just 'made up an accent' but fuck you guys its a fucking danish accent you incolent twats anyways. He could be really funny at times and i actually apprecited it.

However the casting AND acting of the modern parts is absolute shit. Ep.3 is where i kinda gave up on the show and finsihed it for the sake of torturing myself. FIRST OF FUCKING ALL LUCY i cannot fathom how P I S S E D i am about Lucy. Why did they have to make her a phone obsessed basic asshole with no regards to anyones emotions besides her own and the extent of her personality is 'getting likes on socail media is all i care about because it makes me feel validated so im gonna wallo in self pity because i was obiously written by white man in his 50s that would have made me white if he wasnt forved to throw in diversity points" like shut the fuck up steven king.

Also lucy and mina never meet??? Theyre in different fucking time lines??? Theyre friendship and love for eachother was fucking golden how dare you rob that form me and give me a garbage bag full of shit with a shiny little bow on top in its place jesus f u ck.

The cemetary scene was o k ay i gues?? I liked the little nod to the book with the bloofer lady and the concept of random sprits being undead because of unfinished buisness. But this really just felt like it was slapped in the show for the sake of going on a date with Dracula in cemetary. I actually kinda apperacted it but it just felt awkward.

Also who the f u ck is Lucy's friend? The gay one??? Like,,,, is that supposed to Arthur???? His chatecter was so fu king weird and offset he just didnt feel like he should be in there. Hes literally just there for a-50-year-old-man's-interpretation-of-young-women-now-a-days verson of Lucy to have a gay best ffriend.

Ok i not even sure if i want to talk about Quincy. It just hurts. It physically hurts me to think about how d i r t y they did my baby. His charecter is the defination of american chivalry, just as great as regular chivarly but with a little extra cowboy vibe. Quincy is jist the biggest,,,, sweet haert,, like he asked lucy to marry him in his cool american cowboy voice cause he knew lucy loved it and it always made her laugh. And even when she turned him down becayse her heart belonged to arthur, he stayed. All he wanted was for lucy to be happy and all he requested was that they stay frirnds. Hes also invovled with taking fkwn dracula although hes not a main charecter percice ly as he doesnt have any entires in the book he still has an amaizing precence and sometimes while reading the book ill be readying one of dr sewards passanges and think "huh i wonder what quncys doin. I hope hes dooin good. Cowboy vibes n stuffs" amd boy dles he do that. Everh dracula film adaptataion robs us. R O B S U S of quincy morris best scene. In the middle of dr van helsing ranting about vampires( thats basically what half of the book is. I could write a 4p minute mono louge of his rambling jesus how does sweard take note of all this) quincy litterally just walks out. And nobodg really pays any notice beside glancing ag his leave and shrugging at one anouther and going back tl listneing tl van helsing explaining his vampire fan theories quincy moris , the quincy morris from texathe untited states of the amerkca the land and the free and also cowboys.stands outside of the bouilding and pints his gun up at. Dracula whos in the shape of a fucking bat eves ddopping outside the window and just fucking,,shoots it. Now he doesnt hit it cause thatt wouldnt be as fun as brutally stabbing the fucker witja wooden stake. But S T I L L. And the fucking bullet hits the window that everybodys in anprobably causes arthur to shit himself the ppoor boy. Can you belive that theh didnt fucking flim thatfor any dracul? Now i i under stands why not put in this adaptation because quincy is only mentionsed like three god damned times. And when theh DK mention him jesusnshit they literally jsut made him some popular jock from amwrica just to conter jacks white twinky ass and then they had him propose to lucy in the middle of a fucking night club and she says yes???? Lile ok jut throw Arthur out a window then cause cause fu c k him i guess. And then after lucy dies he jjsy fucking moves ?? The only thing thta makes this version of qincy quinccy is the fu king name and fact hes from america

Ok now jack fucking seward. He reminds me of when ylu forget you had a pb&j in your back pack so in the bos after school you pull it out cause yoyr hungry and yoyr mom put WAY to much jelly on it so now its like. All obsorbed into the bread and joggy and squished. Just sad and really white. They even had some kid call him whate bread and they werent fucking wrong. His obly personality traits were ' omg i love lucy but shes a hoe ;,,,((' and being connected to Zoe.

Now last and definately least the god forbaden ending. Just thinking about it gives me a fucking head ache. So , jesus, zoe, who is agathas great niece or someshit, a d looks exactly like her (its literally the same fucking actress) is a detective lile scitist reasearching dracula. So dracula is illedatly attracted to her becasue he thinks shes like agathas reincarnation or soenshit. So he tries tk drink her blood at one point and spits it all out and pukes and sjit cause her blood is poisonous bevaise she has fucking c an c e r. So later we find out that draculas weaknesses ( the sun crucifix) arnt actually real hes just afraid of dying so he has like irration fears or some shit so for some fucking reason. They deside. Its a good iea to end the show with this:

Dracula fucking drinks all of zoes blood killing her and himself because her blood poisonus. And ghe fucking emd scene is them like,,, in the sun???? Or soemt hi ng??? And theyre naked and like presumably fucked and dracula says some shit like " its doesnt have to hurt" and i almost tore my wrist open wiith my teeth because of how shitty this ending is.

Not lnly is it disrespectful to zoe but agatha, agathas whole thing was K I L I N G. dracula she wanted him fucking D E A D she woULDNT FUCK HKM

And like just after finding out that he can be in the sunlight with out fucking dying and that crosses just make him umcomfortable or some shit he just desides to kill himself??? DUDE YOU JUST FOUND OUT YOURE PROACTICALLY MORE INVINCABLE THAN YOU WERE BEFORE AND YOU JSUT FUCKING OFF YOUR SELF ??? HE COULD HAVE FUCKING RULED ENGLAD AND SPEAD VAMPIRISM OLL LVER THE FUCKING COUNTFY AND WORLD KF HE TRIED HARD ENOUGH AND HE KILLS HIMSELF BECAUSE THEY WANTED A STUPID SAPPY ENDING

anyway if anyone actually goes through the effort of reafing my god damn eS S A Y about Dracula that i finkshed typing (im not gonna bother editing tbh) at 4 fucking am. Then thank you and please get a life

#vampire #dracula #dracula2020 #bbc dracula #bbc dracula 2020 #3 am essays cause im pissed #dracula bram stoker #bram stoker #draculaxreader apparnetly

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minecraftoworymode · 5 years

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picked a whole bouquet of whoopsie-daisies the other day reading some Very badfeel content so to cheer myself up here’s some super self-indulgent ramblings about romeo recovery post-s2

“YOU CAN DANCE IF YOU WANT TO YOU CAN LEAVE YOUR INTERNALIZED MISOGYNY BEHIND” or how romeo learned to stop worrying and indulge in the ““feminine”“ shit in life

when romeo transitioned he scrubbed everything that could be potentially viewed as feminine from his appearance and behaviour. while he did everything he could about the former (hairstyle, clothing, body language, voice), it didn’t feel like enough bc he couldn’t change some things that ppl used to be jerks- his frame (short and lithe), his family, his being trans- so he made up for it by trying to “act” like a “real man”. this unfortunately meant he was super vulnerable to manipulative alt-right indoctrination tactics (”we will validate you as a man as long as you endorse our assholery and share our shitty beliefs about what it means to be a man”) and he was on the verge of getting sucked into gamergate ideology when [THIS LORE IS ANOTHER POST] and hey, now the world is minecraft. u dont gotta perform gender roles for villagers they dont care. xara will not only actually eat ur liver for pulling The Bullshit but when you are kind she smiles, so bright and warm, and it is very very nice so maybe you should keep on doing that. n fred? fred is chill with their Everything in a way uve only ever Dreamed of. romeo marinates in this sauce for a couple centuries and comes the closest to being comfortable in his own skin he’s ever been.

however,

after the Incident he slam-dunked himself back into the hypermasculinity juice bc it was a mindset “safe” from feeling pain, whether his or others’. n since the worlds the admins created dont have the same ideas of gender as the world they came from, once he’s been dethroned romeo has a particularly hard time adjusting wrt That on top of all the other 2750347502730 issues he has to face

anyway flash forward a couple months of being incredibly volatile bc he now has to confront all the terrible things he did and how Dare u make him do that and maybe if hes nasty enough he can provoke someone into killing him and saving him from having to unpack All Of That- (note from @simple-mooshroom-herder: Xara and Jesse at least grasp that Romeo will probably burn himself out on this bullshit eventually and the best thing to do is interact with him with a certain level of healthy detachment. Eventually he'll see that theres no "getting out of this" and he'll start to do the Work but until then its very frustrating to see that tactic take him nowhere.)

- one day petra notices how he’s constantly staring at all the ppl wearing cute dresses in beacontown and at first she thinks he's being creepy but then realizes that he's not being creepy and actually she knows exactly how he feels bc she also used to look at ppl wearing clothes super not suited for combat like that, like she wished she could wear them too, like if she just didnt have to keep up this image of the Warrior who is Not Soft Ever-

n ok. listen. these worlds have been specifically engineered to be better and kinder than the one the admins came from, and when people mess up- even REALLY mess up- people are generally not only willing to forgive you but support you as you try and get better. it’s instinctual for communities to respond to misdeeds with rehabilitation and reconciliation, rather than retaliation and renunciation (tho its not an overnight thing and it generally takes 1-3 people to spearhead the process, esp if the actions have affected a large group of people). like. ivor created something that almost destroyed the entire world, not just beacontown, yet by the end of season one he’s grown to be a part of the team- n its not just jesse & co being forgiving here, bc when ivor made his s1 build with 3 lava source blocks people objected to it, but by s2 he not only has lava in his build but a giant lake of it. (im assuming the fences around said lake are coming eventually, bc safety is still important, but the implications im choosing to take from this are a) despite almost ending the world people let him into their lives anyway and b) the community not only grew to accept but encourage his self-expression.)

BUT ANYWAY before i go off on that even more one day petra and romeo basically put on an impromptu fashion show in jesse’s house (bc their house is huge and, kind of perfect for a fashion show, and also right next to the order hall’s armory whence they stole a bunch of fancy swords to match the outfits) n theyre having a blast until the hero in residence , returns to their residence (and with COMPANY) n romeo is absolutely Mortified- caught red-handed showing feelings of an almost human nature, oh my god, this will NOT do- n this whole grand soliluquy of shame and excuses and apologies grabs the steering wheel of his tongue but he cant even spit a single syllable out bc jesse and lukas almost immediately dip leaving romeo panicking for a second before they come back with their inventories FULL of cute outfits, including a billion skirts and dresses, some of them are even enchanted so theyre like. super shiny or constantly flowing or things like that.

this actually ends up spiralling into a town-wide... not quite fashion show bc there's no runway or anything, everyone just shows up in their cutest/coolest outfits .. fashion convention?? Anyway several people come up to him and compliment him on his outfit casually before continuing along, not recognizing him not only bc of how hes done his hair and makeup n what hes wearing but he just seems... so happy (he might be wearing something on his head? like a headpiece or hat or something? but also maybe not hmm)- whoever this is, he's not hunched over like he's got several centuries' worth of sins crawling on his back he’s not trying to shrink and make small a human-shaped apology for the simple fact of his existence not dragging his feet like hes ready for, dreading, a hundred mile trek through the desert repenting hes just. hes literally just Vibing

anyway he's mostly been silent or just providing very quiet "thank you"s but when it turns out that some people showed up ready to play music and there's a song that he knows he literally cant help but start jamming out its the GOod Stim everyones a-dancing and a-jiving and some people start to sing and so of course he does too (the healing power of dancing and singing in cute outfits.... unfathomable) but. ppl recognize his voice

and after a few seconds he notices how quiet it's gotten all of a sudden n everyones looking at him like "oh shit thats the admin" and honestly his heart breaks. visibly

but

then someone starts singing, so quiet it takes a moment for him to hear over the sound of an encroaching panic attack (oh god he has airpods in), but when he looks over theyre smiling - theyre smiling at hiM???? AND IT DOESNT EVEN LOOK MEAN??- and doing this very simple step, that he catches onto just as easily as he matches their singing (its a fairly common little tune n dance)

theyre like standing like a good few meters away but as they take turns with lines in the song they slowly inch closer

and he thinks hes starting to recognize the dance that the steps theyre doing is from but at the part in the song thats coming up ur supposed to allemande left and even tho theyre like, less than a meter away now literally no one has really wanted to get close to him, let alone actually touch him, so hes totally expecting them to be like 'psych' and humiliate him in front of the entire crowd-

BUT THEN THEY ACTUALLY GO FOR IT???

he completes the step without even thinking about it n continues onto the next in this state of dull bewilderment where there is but one braincell active in his head and it is just going, in a very tiny voice, "danser?"

- when they linked arms the person briefly seemed surprised that he didn't like, chew their arm off or anything (he had. kind of snapped at people a few times during the past few weeks), but then their shock turned into a wide smile and they sort of- nodded? at someone over his shoulder like 'come and join us, it doesn't look like he's going to kill me after all you guys can put the eulogy writing on hold'

what rly makes his heart do the confused and hopeful conga is that this isnt even anyone romeo knows, its a total stranger. or- like- he saw them while he was pretending to be jesse he just didnt care to get to know them beyond ‘name and gimmick’- its not even someone who has any reason to think he'd be cool to befriend its literally jsut someone taking a chance on him (tkae a chance take a chance take a chance take a cha)

afterwards hes like "i should thank jesse for putting you up to that, it was fun" and theyre like "what? jesse didn't "put me up to" anything, dude, you just looked super choked. * something something surfer lingo who would i be if i just left someone to feel bad when they could be having fun dancing you know?*"

he H

#ng+#msg #i said this was super self-indulgent and i was not lying #i call ng+ my mcsm project and thats literal

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candyredterezii · 5 years

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valenwoke replied to your post “hi guys i finally saw the nightmare on elm street reboot i ranted and...”

Why were u mad?

OKAY LET ME GET INTO THIS AS BEST AS I CAN CUS IM SHIT AT EXPRESSING MY THOUGHTS

number one: wes craven wasn’t even asked about this film. they didnt tell him shit they just fucking went and made the movie with his character and his idea and was like byyyyyee which tbf the entire franchise rlly was wes having his like. child taken away from him and bastardized, only being able to reclaim it’s legacy in New Nightmare.

next, lets get into the character.

Freddy Krueger.

We all know Freddy as this really campy and jokey character. He’s a beloved slasher. He was funny and silly and his kills were creative and had funny one liners - robert englund brought to life this character and is one of the big reasons he was so beloved. He was a child murderer, yes, but a big thing along with it is we never actually saw him murder a child in the entire series. There was sexual undertones in subtext, and it was originally he was supposed to be a child predator as well, but they threw it out due to a real life scandal happening at the time and played it more subtext

Now. In the remake when they say they ham up the child predator shit they really, really do and it is NOT fucking pleasant at ALL.

But we will get more into that later.

Freddy in the remake, along with the entire thing tbh, is gritty. Edgy. Dark. He makes one liners and REPEATS OLD JOKES FROM THE SERIES, which throughout was liek. Haha that was in Nightmare (X), wish i was watching that one right now. His jokes were just. Flat. It wasn’t jokes it just made you kinda. Yikes. They weren’t delivered with the mirth and excitement like with Robert Englund. His makeup made him look like a fish. He was absolutely disgusting. Making gross sexual assaults on Nancy on one point, granted nothing exactly major but enough to make ur skin crawl.

He was played to be just. Revolting.

Which isn’t a bad thing to do for a character - but not to one that has been well loved and rather like a ‘fun wacky uncle’ kinda guy. Not one with an existing legacy to be a wise cracker looney tunes kinda killer.

But let’s get more into the child predator aspect of it because holy fucking shit.

They literally show flashback scenes in the movie of Freddy playing with the kids and it was all like. Cute and sweet if you didn’t know context but seeing him interact with these kids is like. Revolting and makes your stomach churn. Especially them showing the little girl with her back scratched and a five year old nancy crying to her mom how “he takes us to his special cave” and burst into tears because she was fucking defiled constantly.

Speaking of his special cave. Nancy and Quentin find it. And guess what they find? A bunch of photos of a naked five year old Nancy that Nancy sees and fucking has a break down over it because holy shit that’s fucking disgusting and heavy.

The movie is heavy. Very heavy and makes your stomach sick - and not in a like. Saw movie torture porn kinda way where you are like HAHA SIIICK. But in a fucking crushing reality and just makes you, the viewer, even feel utterly vile as you are watching this character be vulnerable and go through repressed trauma.

The whole movie deals with also Nancy and Quentin and the others apparently having repressed these memories and the parents trying to hide it by hiding their preschool photos and other things from their childhood.

It’s just utterly sickening and makes your skin crawl. Especially as much of Freddy goes after Nancy and speaks so vile to her about how she was his favorite, how beautiful the girl characters still are and how ‘grown up’ they are and just being a fucking creep.

Now that the story is pretty much fucking just. A fucking heap let’s get into the actual movie elements.

The one thing in the original Nightmares I absolutely LOVED was how dream like the dreams were. How they had this kinda dream like quality - it was whimsical! It was creepy and unsettling but also? Really fun? It was CREATIVE. The deaths were fun and imaginative! The crew had so much fun coming up and creating these kinda deaths that you rlly couldnt get away with in normal stories cus its a DREAM where anything can happen.

Now in this movie? It was just. Oh. We’re in a creepy classroom. Oh looks like we are in silent fucking hill and then one flash of lights AA we are i nthe boiler room oh nooo. Oh nooo u got slashed by freddy and now you’re dead. Okay. Cool.

IT WAS BORING It was gritty dark and jsut snooze. it didnt even give any tension it was just. oh ur trying to be scary and thats it. ok.

Now this movie is also a reboot, meaning it’s a fresh start to the series. So someone who hasn’t watched the original series should come in without having to watch the other films, right? Wrong. Now in the original movie, we followed the character Tina as a red herring to be the main character. The same thing happens in this movie, we do not follow Nancy (the one character whose name they kept. Which meaning if you have seen the original films, you know Kris is the Tina character and this twist is not gonna work on the previous fans who a MAJORITY IF NOT ALL this movie’s audience was. Even if you haven’t seen the first Nightmare most people know Nancy is the main heroine. I digress.) So we haven’t followed Nancy. At all. We see her once telling Kris she also saw something in her dreams and thats it.

Next we see her is when she comes to see Quentin. Sits down and just says, “Freddy” Where did she get this info? How is the audience supposed to know who tf that is or why or how or just. WHAT???

Okay. WHATEVER.

This movie also plays a lot on old gags, jokes, and visuals from the first movie as like. A homage. But they’re done.. So poorly. It just makes me go, “haha i remember that. wish I was watching that nightmare instead of this one.”

There’s also small plot elements that made me go ??? what. why?? like for example the mother of Kris apparently having kept one of her daughter’s dresses that was slashed when she was ASSAULTED AND DEFILED BY A MAN in a box upstairs with her preschool photos?? Like. Okay.

There is NO CHARM in this movie. No love. No passion. It’s just gritty and dark and just makes the audience feel utterly vile and absolutely tears apart the legacy of Freddy and NOES and everything Robert has done to the character. It has taken Wes’ original idea and story and just said Hey. What if we take this and just make it dark and edgier and SCARY OOOO. And then they tossed it in the trash compactor.

I feel I’m missing even quite a fucking lot of shit too but.

I fucking hate this movie so much dude.

#candyredreply #valenwoke

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cdreamie · 5 years

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vent nghdsdgsnh its just abt racism and stuff im just . Ghdsghdsgndsh braindump

i wish there wasnt this fuckin. ngngnhnhj Only white peopel can oppress asians :-) because that frankly. isnt true????? like maybe its different in the US, but its also so fucking different here, i wish the internet wasnt so us-centric x_x like ok. okay!!! my grandma didnt nearly get murdered by the japanese for you to fuckin imply that ONLY white people can be racist to asians!!!!!!!! like gahhhh im jsut. asians are racist to other asians!!!!!!! the japanese were racist to the chinese, hell, some chinese people are racist to non-mainland chinese people and im jsut nngnnhhkhkhkhk and like i hate when people assume that like. oh so pale asians oppress other pale asians! and i hate that lol. i hate that. and i KNOW stuff in the us is different, i know its different, but i wish i could talk about my experiences Ever. like (shoves the racism in malaysia article into your face) malay people have power over me. it doesnt matter that theyre muslim, or that theyre not light-skinned, it doesnt change the fact that thye hold power over the chinese -_- i mean i wouldnt call it like oppression but like god Fuck Shit.i also wish how ii coudl talk about how like. islamophobia is NOT a thing here, yes individuals can be islamophobic but it is the default religion, a majority of the population is muslim,And like muslim malay people are the white christians of this country its just so (shakes) literally its like even if youre non-malay and you convert to islam it doesnt matter youre not malay so youre not gonna get any sort of benefits whatsoever like chinese win elections? Riot. people die. malay people get tax benefits and chinese get discriminated against and i jsut Arhghghghhhhhh people from the us dont comment on this issues and pretend their experiences of racism are universal and it pisses me the fuck Off ! haha (cries) i mean our current pm used anti chinese sentiments, i bet therell Never be a chinese prime minister like i can see why singapore left like Ughhh i hate thisssssss i wish i could just talk about my experiences w/o like being seen as Bad!!!!! because its just. its different. and i wish people online oculd talk about racism that wasnt just. oh the light skinned people are Evil! als unrelated i guess but i. Ghghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh stop equating light skinned to white or poc lite i am literally not white passing, i have black hair and a round face and dumb asian eyes and like. Bro. bro shut up. being east asian isnt fucking being white passing. and also i wish people would acknowledfe racism that ISNT just directed at east asian-americans, or just east asians in general., .... like im not east asian. im seasian like. stop speaking for non-american seasians when you talk abotu racism gnbnnhnnnnnn its like, everyone can be racist to everyone here like theres no Majority Oppressive Race. white people arent a thing. my mom is constantly racist to malay and indian people, malay people get benefits and shit and like (sobs) Shut Up. and i mean unrelated again but living here Al lTeenage Boys The Same. even if theyre chinese or malay or indian theyre all racist antisemitic ableist fuckheads who say slurs and make fun of everyone for acting “weird” they r all the same. and ofc im more terrified of the white boys but Gahhhghghnhhhkhnhh i especially hate like chinese dudes who think theyre exempt from being racist assholes just because theyre chinese like. yes people can be racist to you but that doesnt give you an excuse.goodngiht

#riel.txt #vent #dont rb #just a braindump i am fucking Mad.#tldr dont speak for all forms of racism its literally not the same everywhere in the worldddd #this will probably be read Badly if like you dont live here 0_0" its just. things r different here

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the-mf-bread-babies · 4 years

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loneliness </\///\|/3

a fic by rocco wulfram north, m.d.

(found that name on hardcore baby names)

–chmapter jop–

before the tríp

It was a normal day for the Skullsmashers: go to somewhere, kill people, be gay, sleep, get brunch. Right now was the first part of their daily routine, and they were getting ready for it.

“holy fuck nova could you hurry the shit up i have to brush my fucking teeth you bitch” Ace hissed, knocking repeatedly on the bathroom door. “Fuck You. I'm Going To Go To Hell Itself” Nova gargled back, mouth full of mouthwash. More banging was heard; the door had seen better days.

Several feet away was Jake, all dressed up and ready to go, waiting for the others to get ready. He sat on the couch gayly in the living room down the hall, scrolling through Apocalypse Twitter. ‘every day i throw down an unpeeled boiled egg from the rooftop to simulate fear and unreadiness’ he read, a tweet from Orc's account. What the fuck. Classic Orc.

“ah fuck !! am i late !!” Jake turned around to see Damon panicking and counting the daggers in his pockets. “no no not at all. i just get ready really quickly to throw everyone into a state of disarray” Jake replied in an honest, monotone voice. “come sit down”

Damon sat down nervously next to his captain, knowing he'll ask him for Bambi on the PS2 now. “look. look at them those dumbshits” Jake uttered, pointing to Ace and Nova arguing. “those little bastards are completely unaware that ive put a fake cockroach puppet in the mirror. watch now” he added, pulling out a cheap remote control and pressing a button.

*sound of glass breaking* Jake sighed. “okay maybe that wasn't really the best idea” Nova screamed, running out of the bathroom and confusing Ace. “Fucking Roach!!!!!!!!!!!!!” she yelled, already too far away from them to be heard clearly. “huh. well okay then!” Ace grinned, going into the bathroom.

“i'll guard. you do your thing okay? :-)” Damon said to Jake, smiling mischievously. Jake's heart skipped a beat as he was suddenly flustered by the killer's action. «oh god, shit's just gonna get more complicated from here» he thought, staring into nothingness.

Damon braced himself against the bathroom door, eager to hear Ace's chaotic screaming. “ready ??” Damon asked, sending Jake back to the real world. “hhuh??????? oh yea right” he mumbled before beginning to control the cockroach with the remote. “this shit cost me like 200 bucks so it better be worth it”

HOLY MOTHER OF

F U C K

JAKE JESUS FUCKING CHRIST

WHAT THE S H IT DUDE

ace will remember this.

Jake cackled loudly, rolling on the floor and hitting the table with his fist. “LMAOOOOK FUCK YOUUU” he yelled, angering Ace even more. “I WILL GODDAMN SKIN UOUR FUCKIGN ISTINEDSTINES OLD MAN I SWEAR TKC FUCKF” they yelled back, pushing the door repeatedly. “IM GOIND TO FUCKIGN DIR HERE YOU BITCH”

“ah . ace ? could you move a little please ? i'm trying to get in ?” Damon said annoyingly kindly, making Ace jab a fake knife through the space between the door and the doorway. “THIS IS THE BEST FUCKIGN KNIFE I HAVE ON ME RIGT NOW BUT PLEADR JSUT FUCK O F F”

“hm ... i'll have to check in with the blacksmith today to know what this one's worth... possibly rusted here, though.... could also just be dirt tho.....” Damon mumbled, examining the knife. “FUCKING HEL P” Ace yelled in distress, his breath seeping through the door. “ace. brush your fucking teeth that's disgusting.”

“IM FUCKIF D TRYINF THERES JUST A FUCKGIFN ROSCH HEREERF” Ace explained fearfully, trying their best to get some pity from the other. “a what ?? don't think we have those here” “A FUCKIFN COKROSKC” “corrosion ???? how bad” “FUCK YOU A GODDMAND COKCROACH” “girls?? what?? are they milfs??” “HOW THEE DFUCKDB DID YEOU HEAR FTHAY WHATS DUCUNESKRHI”

Jake's hand slapped against Damon's shoulder as a way of saying thanks. “good work out there soldier. us skullsmashers really need someone like you damon” He said confidently, disguising his flirting as a compliment. “cool !! you too man !!” The shorter man replied, completely unaware of the flirting and continuing to yearn for the mutual love between him and Jake. fuckin idiots lmao

“alrighty fuckers, let's move!”

Rachel's voice sent Ace and Nova into a panic, making them scram to look for their weapons and equipment. “Got everything ya need? W'ain't makin' any stops; tryin'a save fuel.” Shaw asked, leaning against the wall at the entrance menacingly. “When the fuck did you even come here.” Dennis asked in surprise, carrying suitcases. “Hmph. Man never tells his secrets, young man.” She replied, tilting her cowboy hat. “What…”

Aaron was sitting peacefully in the trunk of a pickup truck they had, only to be met by a large backpack to the face. “ah!!!!!!!! very sorry!!!!!!! we'll be going in separate vehicles, and trunk space is very much needed!!!!!!!!” Whitney said, apologizing. “Ah. Well. O-okay then.” Aaron stuttered out, holding back tears from the painful impact the backpack had. Pretty sure he'll get a bruise from that.

Henderson and Rachel were waiting in the front seats of yet another pickup truck. To pass the time, they took very cringey pictures of each other pretending to be on Cowboy TikTok™. “Do one where you're pregnant with the truck's baby!” Henderson suggested, making Rachel flip the bird at her but begrudgingly agreeing with her stupid idea. “i literally would skin you alive.” She spat out, putting a pumpkin inside her shirt. “That's… literally so sexy, babe.” Henderson replied back, taking more pictures.

Meanwhile, Andre was busy explaining to Cyprus, who was in a small glass jar, that forcibly entering Damon's bloodstream and mutilating his entire body was not very nice, with Orc and Sarah judging. “YES BUT UNLIMITED POWER COULD BE RIGHT IN OUR HANDS ANDRE” “That'd very mean of you to do, and could actually probably kill you too in the process.” he explained to deaf ears. Well, technically no ears. Yet. “CYPRUS I KNOW IT SOUNDS STUPID BUT YOU COULD LITERALLY DO THE SAME BUT LIKE IN AN ELEPHANTS BODY DUDE” Orc suggested, only to be ignored. “cmon cyprus just pleaaaaase dont kill ppl ok”

Jake looked outside, then back at Damon. “well guess its time to move!” “yea ... but at what cost.” Damon replied confusingly, making a sad face. “did you know today is…” he started, then regretted saying anything. “nvm…” He turned away from the punk, sniffling and walking to Dennis and Aaron.

“damon” “??” Jake asked quietly, craning his neck a little before making the decision to leave the new recruit alone. Instead, he joined Henderson and Rachel in their odd activities.

“hey guys. i fucking miss sans.” Damon confessed, taking a seat next to Dennis. “My nose is bleeding.” Aaron pointed out. “ok. today's sunday. and you Know what That Means… Meant,” The boy continued, facing the ground. “Kanye West he…” Dennis began (begun???? idk). “… liked.” Aaron continued, also affected emotionally by the departure of not only Sans, but Komaeda too.

Jake stared longingly at the family, wishing he was a part of it too. He truly felt Ariel Little Mermaid's desire to become human. Seven Vagánias… that was a risk he was willing to take for him. He would shave his eyebrows off for that man, and he just might do it right now.

“Jake? Don't do that. Please don't fucking do that.” Henderson suddenly interrupted, surprising Jake. “do what” Henderson squinted her eyes, giving Jake a suspicious look. “That's the face you make when you want to do silly things…” She pointed out.

“You had that when you almost electrocuted yourself at that stable, you had that when you threw the dart at Scoran, you had that when you glued Marcus and Reese–” “OKAY OKAY I GET IT IM A DUMMY SILLY LITTLE BITCH BOY OK”

Rachel put the pumpkin back on the ground and went to the two friends, curious to know what the quarrel was about. “what's poppin gayboy!” She loudly asked, slapping Jake's forearm strongly. “i am in peril and shaking and crying” “daddy issues” “yget?” He explained, gesturing towards the Russells.

“ah. please clarify what kind.” Rachel said, knowing Jake has a very questionable taste for fictional middle-aged men, such as Sigma Overwatch and the guy from the cowboy game. “the fuckin. family one rachel” “look at em just vibing and simply being gay”

Rachel and Henderson gave eachother a look that questioned whether Damon and Jake were going to be a thing or not, since Jake's technically still with Andre. “Considering the fact that they adopted Damon, they could probably also adopt you if you wanted to.” Henderson suggested, knowing Jake wouldn't like this and would stupidly unknowingly accidentally confess his love for Damon to them both right then and there.

“what?????” “ew no thatd be fuckin incest or some shit what the fuck” Jake said, being grossed out. “what would be the incestuous part, jacon. we did not say or hint at anything related to incest.” Rachel asked, making Jake's hair stand up in panic. “fuCKIN NOTHING DUH” “BUT LIKE YKNOW I GET CRUSHES REALLY EASILY YEA??????” Jake explained weirdly.

“So there's a new one right now, huh…” Henderson asked… feeling like she was in Ace Attorney. “no!!!! no wait” “well yea– no.. but i–” “fuck You but yes” Jake grumbled. “ah no, we won't tell, obviously. it was just getting way too obvious, so we just wanted to hear it from both sides.” “WH” Rachel said mysteriously, getting into the driver's seat of the pickup truck. “okay guys let's go!!” She yelled out, starting the engine. “THE FUCK IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN??????” “BOTH SIDES???”

chapter dos

two four trucks

The journey to god knows fuckin where idk didn't plan i guess a fuckin cabin or smth idk was long and torturous, especially when Rachel said that cryptic-ass thing before going. What the fuck was that supposed to mean, bro.

sudden interlude for seating arrangements !!

truck 1: Henderson, rachel, whitney, CYPRUS

truck 2: jake, damon, marge, Andre, Aaron

truck 3: ace, Nova, Dennis

truck 4: sarah, ORC, Shaw, viper

truck two.

Jake awkwardly patted Marge's head in the backseat of the truck, avoiding eye contact with Damon and Andre. Of course he had to go on a three-day trip in the same car with his ex, his crush, AND his crush's father. God, he was pretty sure this was the lab rats' doing.

“cows.” Damon pointed outside, earning Andre's attention. “Holy– what are those?” He asked, taking his sunglasses off to admire the beautiful little cows. “Cows… we drink their milk and wear their skin as jackets…” Aaron explained, his eyes drifting from the road momentarily. “They can have best friends and stuff. Really nice guys. Also, they're expensive as hell.”

“Y–You do what. Their skin??” Andre asked, his voice a pitch higher than usual. “yeah and we rate them based on which layer it is. also, like their meat, expensive as hell. but still very cool.” Damon said, confusing Andre even more. “they also give us cheese and ice cream and whipped cream and stuff. underrated little babies. they deserve better.” “they also have nose rings which are punk as hell–”

“Wait, why the nose– cheese?! Cheese?! AND ice cream??!” Andre asked again, his mind attempting to comprehend the greatness that cows are. “Oh man, you are not ready to hear about pigs.” Aaron said jokingly. “What the fuck are pigs???” “Sausages, ham slices, bacon, lard, leather too, rotisserie–” “aaron please i'm gonna throw up.” “Oh, right. Sorry,”

Jake sat quietly in his seat, just now realising how much of his world Andre's missing. Sure, his world was much cooler, but do they have sheep? Palm trees? Penguins? Thought not, bitch. “andre do you know what a kangaroo is” He asked, breaking his silence like that one YouTuber.

“A what?” “kangaroo. some of them are buff as shit and they move by hopping. they cant hop backwards and they also keep their babies in little pouches attached to them and their bones and guts are exposed on the inside of said pouch. baby kangaroos are about the size of a jellybean, and the adults can box you”

“They what” “yea they're weird as fuck.” “its from australia so” “That sounds fake.” “oh man. wombats bro. quokkas. fuckin drop bears and flying foxes. PLATYPUSES!!!” “wombats poop in cubes and quokkas are always smiling” “Koala bears hold onto tree branches and eat their mom's shit, which is the leaves of said tree branches.” “Please stop what the fuck” “ohoho fucking GEESE” “GET IM JAKE MY NEIGHBOR HAD FUCKIN THREE OF THOSE BITCHES”

truck three.

The three sat silently, with the exception of Dennis, who was swearing at random times. “You call that a fuckin’ turn, old man?! HUH?!!” Ace's shoulders jumped, the sudden exclamations preventing them from sleeping through the trip. “This Is Probably The Last Time We'll See Each Other Alive.” Nova stated calmly. “i slept for like two minutes last night… didn't even get to wear conditioner today. unrelated but just sharing my struggles with you.” Ace said, shifting into a more comfortable sleeping position.

Dennis overheard the two talking, and opted to stay quiet for the rest of the trip, before stumbling across a strange sight. “FROG!!!” he yelled, waking up the duo. “he said fuck! he said the f” Ace yelled out while rubbing their eyes. “Are We Aliven't” Nova asked, stretching. “Sadly, no, but the good news is, I found a frog!” Dennis excitedly said, opening the car door.

“WHAT” “THAT SHITS GONNA POISON US WHAT THE FUCK” Nova yelled out, unfortunately not loud enough for Dennis to hear it. The man kept walking towards the creature that was technically an alien to them, and picked it up with watery hands. “DENNIS YOU'RE GONNA FUCKING KILL US ALL!!!!!!! DENNIS!!!!!!”

“So, you kids know how to handle a frog?” Dennis asked in a wholesome tone, alerting the two even more. “KILL IT KILL IT FUCKING KILL IT” “Oh, are you guys allergic to this little guy? Sorry, I'll put it in the dashboard instead.” “GET ITBOUT WHAT THE FUCK DENNID JESUS” “… Huh?” “POSIOJ DART FOGR” Nova shouted, hiding behind the passenger seat and being pushed by Ace, who was also going to hide there. “BITCH”

Dennis and the frog stared at them in confusion, hearing their horrified screams. “This is… a wood frog… not a poison dart… that one would probably die in this climate…” he explained plainly, his hands gently cupping the newfound friend. “oh. ok” Ace muttered quietly, while Nova maintained an awkward silence. “You can… pat them very softly if you want.” Dennis suggested. “Or spray the shit outta them. That could work too.”

Nova nervously held out her hand to pat the frog, then smiled in succeeding to do so. “Death Quivers Before Me” She said, proceeding to pat it even more. “can i do the spray thing.” Ace asked, their voice quiet as a whisper. “Yeah, sure. Go right ahead.”

*the frog was going to die so technically they didnt like fuck up the ecosystem or smth. do not attempt this irl.

truck four.

“What jolly tunes d'ya have on this here truck. Fellas.” Shaw asked, observing the radio. “uh, really, i don't think it'll be necessary!!!!!” Viper nervously said, only to be ignored. “NONSENSE! ONE'S TASTE IN SHANTIES PROVES TO BE A WINDOW INTO THEIR LIVES.” Orc said wisely, patting them on the shoulder. “i guess that's good advice, but really–”

TWO TRUCKS HAVING SEX. TWO TRUCKS HAVING SEX. MY MUSCLES. MY MUSCLES. INVOLUNTARILY FLEX.

“I SEE. A MATING SONG FOR YOUR SPECIES?” “my truck f### playlist,.,.,.” Viper tried to mute the speaker to no avail as most of the buttons on the control panel were very much broken. “I'm. Very sorry for this, pardner. But this doesn't sound so bad. I could put this in a jukebox…” Shaw consoled, only making them panic more. “im so f#ckig sorry” They said, before smashing the radio with a briefcase.

They all paused for a moment, unsure of what to do. “i have spotify…” Sarah croaked, holding up her phone. “they have lemon demon too, if you want…” She muttered, scrolling through the song choices. “does anyone want to listen to wet a–” “no.” “okay.”

The truck grew even quieter for a while, until Shaw gave a suggestion to pass the time. “Wanna play 20 questions?” “I'll start: how many folks have y'all killed?” Viper gave the assassin a horrified look, confusing her. “I think mine's around 150. No… 145…” She confessed, rubbing her chin. “Wait, or was it 160?”

“like six. do you like girls, and, follow up question, do you also coincidentally like short girls with long hair.” Sarah said without hesitation, stopping Orc from answering the first question. “Yes! I literally have a wife!” Shaw shouted happily, rolling up her sleeves to show Sarah her tattoos. “This one is her setting herself on fire and me getting inspired–” “ah, yes–” “That one was a total cover-up! Previously, it was the names of my exes, all thirteen of them, but now, it's my cat!”

After some time of receiving a bit too much RexShaw lore, Sarah finally got the answer she so desperately needed from Viper. This was the verdict that determines whether she could make a move or not. This answer could change– “i am gay and do not get attracted to women. thank you.” Ah. Back to more hunting. “I am a lesbian! High-five!” Shaw exclaimed.

And finally, the first truck.

truck one.

Loud country music blared in the truck as they drove by the snowy mountains of uhh. Winsnow. Like winter and snow. They had all chosen separate routes in order to cover more land and see if there were any new developments in the area.

“BRANDY!!! FETCH ANOTHER ROUNF!!!!!!” Rachel screeched as she drummed on the dashboard. “AND SHE FJSJS” Henderson kept driving, searching every inch of land for a rest stop to stretch her legs and also listen to something else.

“hendy.” Rachel said, getting her girlfriend's attention. “do you wanna buy that slime that cleans cars and stuff?” Henderson stared into the distance, pondering. “Hm. There's always the possibility of the slime disappearing under mysterious circumstances and turning up in the trash can the next day covered in saliva, so.” Whitney looked away, feeling attacked.

“yeah, that's a problem.” Rachel muttered, her hand instinctually moving to Henderson's. “Please don't crash the car.” She begged, looking sadly at her. “is there a domino's nearby. i heard they have that new peanut butter chocolate lava cake.” Rachel asked, cupping Henderson's face gently.

“Rachel. There's fucking mountains.” Henderson pointed out, gesturing towards their surroundings. “That shit will freeze.” Rachel put her head down in disappointment. “yeah. damn.” “MORE FLESH!!! MORE FLESH!!! MORE FUCKING FLESH!!!”

Oh yeah, Cyprus was here the whole time. “why does the metal say fuck?????” And Whitney too! “MIND YOUR OWN GODDAMN BUSINESS. FLESH NEEDED!” Cyprus yelled out, resembling a hungry toddler on a road trip.

“do you want like a burger or something......” Whitney asked, judging the spirit. “FLESH” “like are you more of a kfc or a mcdonalds guy” “NEED FLESH” She gave the couple a look, one that was kind of undecipherable due to her lack of normal face details like eyebrows, visible pupils, etc.

“So, three peanut butter lava cakes and one meat lover's… what else?” “ah!!!!!! no lava cake for me, i'm on a diet!!!!!! dirt and dirt only!!!!!!!!!!! also fish bones as a treat” Whitney corrected, her eyes searching for a nearby body of water. “Or, we could get Cyprus the fish meat, and Whitney the bones.” “sounds good to me!!!!!!!!” “FLESH”

…

“welcome to domino's! can i get your order?”

“three peanut butter lava cakes, please. that's all. thank you.” Rachel said, her seat switched with Henderson's, who was too nervous to order. “okay but they each take like three hours to make” “what.” “yea you can stop by like the grocery store up ahead” “fuck you for ordering this” “i–” “fuck off”

the grocewy stowe

The truck stopped by the front of the building, Rachel telling them to go in first while she searches for a good parking spot. Much to Henderson's disappointment.

“My lover…” Henderson said with fear in her voice. “it's okay… go along… i… i have to do this for you…” “for you all… i won't forget the good that you've done to me and everyone i've ever known…” “Rach, please don't go, I lo–” “you all are the kindest people… heaven may wait eagerly for you, but as for me, the ground trembles for its latest meal. fresh from the oven, i will enter the furnace…” “why the fuck would they cook you again” “because i'm TOAST!!” “haha”

“Kill Ronald Reagan while you're at it… I forgot which one he is but I'm pretty sure he's a total bitch…” “i will meet you doomguy” “heeeeeeeh” Rachel whined weakly as she slowly drove over to the spot she wanted.

MOTHERFUCKER.

A silver Honda Civic quickly made its way into there, angering the scientist. “not on my watch, fucker.” Rachel muttered, sliding the pickup truck across the road. She slammed her palm onto the car horn, which terrified even a murder of crows.

“huh wonder who that is” “hm anyway which fish do u like ???? :-)”

A woman who seemed to be in her late 40s exited the Honda Civic, throwing a rather large and flashy boa around her neck. “Jesús, ít's cold in hère,” The lady commented, putting on a pair of expensive-looking sunglasses. “Márie, come along, ma cheghhy!” (i forgot how to spell it)

oh, son of a B I T C H .

it's the french lady who smells weird.

Of course, seeing your enemy in any circumstance that wasn't planned was clearly a little scary and will probably be your last day alive, but bumping into them at a Target was kinda… awkward.

Both the hazelnut and the dolphin were less armed and armoured than usual, and there weren't any bodyguards or security. Usually, if a top leader goes anywhere, the standard protocol was to do thirty separate background checks on the location and have it guarded up somewhere in the three months before their arrival.

So, obviously, someone in Top 50 driving around town in a decades-old car buying groceries isn't very safe, or probably even legal. Hell, she hasn't even seen them wear anything this ridiculous ever. Could this be a distraction? Or is it an opportunity?

Ah, wait, they're both wearing their stupid little marriage bracelets.

It's the middle of October.

This is their anniversary vacation.

Shit.

in the store

Henderson strolled through the aisles with Whitney at her side, hugging Cyprus's jar. She examined the cereal boxes to make sure they didn't contain any food colouring that could potentially kill her.

Whitney, on the other hand, zoomed over to the meat section, licking her lips at the sight of a raw cod. “cyprus…… do you feel that? the need to devour a being???? the uncontrollable desire for energy that it transcends all laws and regulations placed on mankind?????? the growing hunger for power, one that's so strong it controls your every need????

a natural, primal instinct to become such a brutal being that no one, not even you, recognise yourself anymore. you look at yourself in the mirror and you feel like you want to destroy that, to put yourself onto the pedestal you belong on, to wreak havoc on the cosmos of all beings, living and dead, real and mythical, walking and extinct.

you know that you're the only who understands this instinct, the only one who follows it to this distance. everyone else may underestimate you, but in the end, you'll rise above them all. man's natural instinct is to become the ruler of all.”

“What the fuck, Whitney. Anyway, I talked to the deli guy and he said he could pay you to eat up some scraps if you want. You down?” Henderson asked, her trolley already full of snacks. “yea fuck it man” Whitney replied, walking over to the ‘staff only’ door. “im hungy as fuck”

parking lot.

Despite the growing need to kill the woman, Rachel was managing to control herself. Even though this was the perfect opportunity to eliminate one of them, she knows she'll be replaced by someone much crueler. So for now, she'll just stick to watching this lady consider which can of tomato sauce is better than the other.

Rachel parked the truck near the entrance and the Honda Civic. She kept an eye on the couple as she quietly made her way inside through the back door.

“So thàt's when Í saìd, ‘that's not a cactùs, that's a lámp!” Karén playfully said, her hand entwined with her wife's. Rachel was unsure whether to stalk the two or join her friends in shopping.

WELL, FIND THAT OUT IN THE NEXT PART,

B I T C H !! !! !!

0 notes

lycanrox · 7 years

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response to aidens post lol

Thanks for forcing me into a relationship and making me fall for you because of your temporary affection if-Tearing me apart internally when I KNEW I was not good enough, when I KNEW we were not going to last because you always had someone better. You gave me false hope and tore me up and used my body just for you to help you out. gonna copy nd paste then post my response ok cool

-Guilt trip and gaslight when you thought I was going to get with someone else, people making compliments towards me got you into a rage fit. You never apologized for always getting pissed when I never did shit and you take compliments all the time.

i never tried to guilt trip. i told you many times its ok to get with someone else. you literally dated someone else and i was ok with it. it wasnt compliments i was upset over, you literally had people saying they were in love with you. thats really weird to me. i was scared to be abandoned. people dont compliment me, all i have is my boyfriend and my qpp. maybe my close friends compliment me but its not a big deal. did i freak out over ur friends calling u daddy and shit? why should u get upset over people doing that to me?

-Manipulating everyone to know only your side, ignoring my sincere apologies, calling them bullshit, ignoring the fact that I never did those things again and told you to call me out. You barely did, but I did always stop when you told me to.

literally i already said. He sat there with me as youd text me and fight with me. you went to Her, my fp, to complain about me without telling her my side. everyone who ive talked to has seen all of it. i give people my phone and let them read everything since even before we broke up. im not scared to show my side.

-Controlling me, telling me to do everything and give you love all the time and you literally did that all the time. “I hate myself I want to die”, was that not manipulation, when I always try to comfort you? But, you pushed me away and said you never asked. I was extremely supportive in your times of misery and self harm, what have you ever done for me?

how did i control you? i didnt tell you to do shit. saying “love me” as a joke isnt controlling. i wanted attention, god forbid. you do the same to me. “i hate myself i want to die” is literally just me self loathing, how is that manipulation??? i was venting to you because i trust you. i appreciated the comfort but yes i never wanted help. help is not what i want, i dont want to be in the hospital, i dont want to be put on new meds, i dont want a support group i just want to feel less alone.

-Calling me abusive for literally nothing, for “months” I have apparently abused you when A) I never fucking harmed you, a gentle push I guess which I thoroughly apologized for, but nah it’s all bullshit according to you and B) You have done manipulative and abusive things to me like: Forcing me to do things with you, making me have to kiss you within the first 5 days because you were so sad, trying to talk sexually to me when I was not ready but I got into it because that is what YOU wanted, exhausting my limits to how much you wanted from me, expecting me to love on you and care for you when you are always talking about how many feelings you have for someone else, putting me into a poly relationship without my consent the second time, always having some shit to complain about because I cannot be perfect, pinning me against my friends, and the list goes on.

if like 10 different people are calling you abusive its probably true, dude. you did harm me. you ignored the fact i literally said you punched me. you never apologized for that. i was fucking upset over it and you just sat there and watchd me tear up and curl in a ball. you tried to fucking excuse yourself for it. “I deal with things irrationally, I live in a family that physically hits each other, and it was a blur I cannot just stop and think. I did not blame him for being scared? I said it isn’t my fault and it doesn’t mean I havent gone through things either.” literal quote from you. “...it was aggressive but gentle...” another literal quote.

i never forced you to. in fact it was always you texting me about how horny you are, you made an nsfw blog so i could see the shit you put on there, you were the first person to make sexual advances. i told you i get sex repulsed sometimes and you apparently dont even remember that because at least 3 times a week you talked to me about being horny and what was i supposed to do? you would be at my house and tell me how much you wanted to fuck, you said literally “i cant wait for after-prom sex” and i didnt let you stay the night because of that. you were the one who always wanted sex. i never forced you to do anything, you were the one who touched me without consent. i didnt make you kiss me. before we were even dating you talked about kissing me all the time. you asked me to teach you how to kiss, so yeah like .. 5 days after we started dating you spent the night and we kissed like 3 times. it wasnt that big of a deal. you asked for it. the first time we sexually talked all i said was i wanted to give you hickeys and you asked to sext, so we did.

poly relationship w/o consent? when we first started dating i was already dating oliver. when we broke up, again, i was dating oliver so when you ASKED ME OUT again you knew i was still with them. no force. when did i ever pin you against your friends? the only person i ever said shit abt was p**** because he was getting too obsessive when you were uncomfy, and you encouraged me to do that.

-You made me believe that all I was ever doing was WRONG, and I have told you that five trillion times, and you never did anything to help that. I know I was not wrong for trying to be supportive even though I was triggered to death, but you made me feel like I was a fucking nuisance in your life.

how??? i did everything i could to tell you how great of a boyfriend you were. i told you every day how much i loved you. how perfect you were. i didnt do shit, you were the one who made me feel like shit every day because i wasnt physically or mentally able to suit your romantic needs.

-Blaming me for all your damn mistakes, I got defensive because it was never me, blaming me for being paranoid when you did things and hinted at things to provoke that, and your paranoia was never apologized for either. Even in the beginning, I apologized for being paranoid and it took a long ass time for that to come back because you are so unpredictable and you were never clear with any of the things you said.

yes i admit i have trouble owning up to my own mistakes. im sorry that i blamed you for things. you dont deserve that. im mature enough to own up and apologize for that. i dont know what i did to make you paranoid but im sorry that that happened. i am unpredictable. i know. yikes at me

-Vaguely saying you did some things wrong too but hiding behind your illnesses as well, not even asking me what you could have done better. You want the cold hard truth? You are getting it. Yes, I was supportive of what you had and I guess I am ableist for trying to help you to change. I WAS SO ABLEIST for wanting the absolute bare minimum. You already said we were just becoming friends at that stage, and the fact of the matter is, you hurt the shit out of me.

i try not to hide behind my illnesses but i really cant help some things because of my illnesses. i tried asking what i could do. i tried doing what you wanted. you are ableist tbqh because i told you i COULDNT DO THE THINGS YOU WANTED but you pushed me every day to fucking do it and when i broke down and apoligzed for not being able to do it you made me feel like ABSOLUTE SHIT!!! i was the worst bf ever bc i cant do some romantic things sometimes!!!!! yikes im so problematic for being disabled!!

-You become avoidant to self harm and don’t fucking apologize for pushing people away. You always told me you were here for me when I needed help but you never actually listened to me. I never jumped straight into things, sorry if you believe that. I always said I was feeling terrible and you decided to expand.

i dont have to apologize for pushing people away if its whats best for me mentally. i am 100% sure in that. i always ask whats wrong because i care about you but when i dont know what youre going to say its a 50/50 chance ill get triggered and if im triggered i cant really think properly!! i get flashbacks and anxiety attacks when i see even specfic words. ive told you before its not great to depend on me for that stuff. that im always here for you but im here to listen, not to help. i cant help myself, how can i help you?

-Saying you were fine all the time, lying to me when something was wrong, I always had to find out from someone else about what you have done.

wow yikes i didnt tell you when i felt shitty because i didnt want to trigger you. yikes because i dont want your help or advice sometimes. i want people to listen but you never JSUT listen you have some styff to say and while some ppl like that i dont!! i dont like being told how to think or feel or what to do

-Abusing your medications and getting high when I first broke up with you, saying you got dumped, implying you didn’t deserve it when you never deserved me. I spent over $200 dollars on your boyfriend’s medical bills, but I am careless and unkind I suppose.

i was already abusing my medications :-/ i never called you careless or unkind but ok

-Tearing me apart internally when I KNEW I was not good enough, when I KNEW we were not going to last because you always had someone better. You gave me false hope and tore me up and used my body just for you to help you out.

what did i ever do to make you feel not good enough lol. not do the things i said before i cant do? i didnt use your body, not once not ever. dont even start that shit. you know my history of rape and sexual abuse. what the actual fuck.

-Again, since you cannot get it through your selfish mind, you never owned up for ANYTHING you have done, and guess what? I only do what people do to me. So, you treating me bad, I tried to forgive you and become collected, but you pushed me to where I thought I was stuck in the relationship. Why? Because if I left, you would become suicidal, if you left, you would want to come back immediately.

i tried owning up to things and ive apologized for many things i shouldnt have had to. tbqh ive wanted to break up since like.. right after prom bc the way you were being so i wouldnt have been suicidal if you left. yeah i wouldve been upset if i left because its hard for me to detach myself from people

You have no idea what you did, you have no idea what you were doing.

lol u rite

People defending your disgusting actions are no better than you are, you only exclude what you have done to make yourself seem innocent.

people excusing you for hitting me and sexually abusing me and manipulating and gaslighting me are worse than people supporting me. i was maybe bad to you to combat myself from you hurting me!! i dont want to fucking get hurt again so when you do something shitty i have to do something shitty in return!

Thanks for forcing me into a relationship and making me fall for you because of your temporary affection

you asked me out both times.

I asked you all the damn time if you wanted space, but you said “No, it’s fine,” when you damn well knew it wasn’t. Why are you such a blatant liar?

i didnt want to hurt you by leaving you alone.

Oh and also, when you “broke up” with your boyfriend of two years for me, but always texting endearing things to them when we were together, how cute of you to do that.

we did break up. yeah i fucking missed them though. its hard for me to detach. but i wasnt seeing them behind your back. you know very well it was sho who was dating oliver, not me. i text them endearing things because theyre my fp/dp and i love them.

anything abusive ive done i literally didnt mean to do. youre the one whos just now pushing all this shit on me. dont accuse me of being abusive when you didnt tell me when these things made you upset. i didnt fucking know. i cant read minds. i cant do any of that shit. i also dont have empathy and cant think of other peoples emotions so its hard for me to think about how/if my actions are affecting people, unless they fuckign tell me. which you didnt. instead, you just told me how fucking shitty i was. i was an awful boyfriend, im using you, im cheating, im not good enough, i cant satisfy you. i guess i was so bad you just had to start dating that other guy, and as you said, because “he can give you things i cannot give”. jeez im so FUCKING sorry.

#self harm 0542 #abuse 35959 #rape 43592 #ask to tag

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dulltwig · 6 years

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So I’ve been playing God of War (the new one) for a while now and I wanted to share my thoughts on its gameplay, its themes, and how holy cow guys how did it go so wrong? Also be warned this 100% contains spoilers from all parts of the game so here we go!

So before i dive into the message of the game or anything i wanna jsut put it out there ive played the first GoW, some of the third, I’m halfway through this one and ive watched a playthrough of the full main story line of the the newest installment, anyway! So the game is fucking pretty, let me tell you that much. You can tell a boatload of time was put into so many meticulous details there’s literally no way youll see half of them. not kidding. like, i find it to be RIDICULOUSLY contradictory that this game is going for some cinematic experience, and then wants the gameplay to be fast paced and destructive! Like, wow these norse ruins filled with symbols and statues are neat -HEY KILL MORE DRAUGR THAT YOUVE ALREADY KILLED 3000 OF- ok but i want to look at that -YOU NEED TO BLOW UP THIS THING SO YOU CAN MOVE ON- ok but like this room is really neat -HOLD THE FUCKING PHONE HERES EVERY MINIBOSS IN THE GAME RESKINNED FOR THE FIFTH TIME THAT YOU NEED TO BEAT ALL OF IN A REALLY SLOW SET OF BATTLES ONE AFTER EACH OTHER- alright god fine i wont look at your fucking game ill just mash r1 and then r3 to tear open the same guy in the same way for god knows what number time!! it’s just, its fucking stupid. there’s so much attention to detail that you’d expect it to be a more narrative driven game, which it tries to do, but the fucking core gameplay is so opposite everything that it builds that you dont notice jack shit going on in the environment unless theyre like forcing it to be a part of how you need to progress. Also, with the game’s little hide and seek for what are in my opinion relatively necessary health and rage upgrades, it makes the player 1000x less concerned with the actual environment and instead like theyre parsing a 3d where’s waldo book to destroy the 6TH FUCK C URN WHERE IS THAT MOTHERFUCKER I SWEAR TO GOD! like hm cool these statues definitely have a story but god fuckin damn do i not give a shit unless theres an urn i need to break to get the next ibunn apple!! its just, i feel bad for all those people who put all this work into making it look gorgeous and needed to resort to a game of i spy to make the players actually look at it. its a fucking shame. Also, i mentioned reskinned enemies? let me tell you! theres a lot of those! i mean, like, with the exceptions of the valkyries (and even then ive only fought one so i might be mistaken) youre essentially fighting the same enemy with one or two moves added since you last faced it for the entire game. even the final boss of the game is the first boss fight but with added moves!! its repetitive as shit! and most of the difficulty that the game does have, coming from someone who plays video games probably too much, is super fucking artificially added through bullshit enemy levels and OHKO’s if you dont spend hours grinding side content. WHICH LEADS TO MY NEXT POINT!

It also makes this weird rift in gameplay where its super punishing to go after side content and explore the world because the difficulty of side content is DRASTICALLY different from the main quest. At the time of writing this, im taking on level 2-4 enemies in the main game, just about everything has a green health bar (indicating it should be an easy enemy) or a yellow health bar (indicating it should only be a little difficult), but the side content im running into enemies that are consistently level 5-7, and even at max health and equipment that puts me at level 4, i can still get killed in two or three hits on normal mode. Maybe im pushing too much into side content early but for a game that wants the player to get immersed in the world and yadda yadda i feel its really offputting that the player essentially gets punished (gasp!) for exploring (bigger gasp!) its so dumb and just a totally unnecessary thing to do, especially when you go for a realm tear and it can either drop like 2 level 3 guys or 3 level 8 guys and there’s literally no indication as to what itll be until youve already activated it! its dumb! NOW ITS TIME FOR THE NARRATIVE THAT I DONT HAVE A SMOOTH TRANSITION FOR! OH BOY DO THEY TRY TO REDEEM KRATOS!! like, wow, this dude fucking singlehandedly killed the entire greek pantheon and then some! oh, and his own family! and, like, im not sure about this but im pretty sure he kills like a whole fuckin civilization of innocent people? but like yeah, sure, let him learn how to be a father, thatll redeem him sure! NOPE! they didnt even do that right! kratos was singlehandedly responsible for fucking ruining atreus. i mean, the guy just doesnt fucking know what a child is, in like a really just fucking dumb, toxic masculinity kinda way. like, kratos fucks up. even when atreus learns hes a god because kratos is a god and yadda yadda, kratos isnt even like “HEY BOY STOP ACTING HIGH AND MIGHTY, JUST BECAUSE YOURE A GOD DOESNT MAKE YOU ANY BETTER THAN THESE MORTALS”, he jsut fucking lets the kid parade around on an altar of superiority and tomfuckery. it even goes so much to his head he just fucking kills Modi because he can and modi shit talked once, like if i killed everyone that shit talked me id be in jail for the death of hundreds, you cant just do that shit and have it be ok. kratos is just fucking dumb and the violence of the game really, uh, goes against the whole, like everything theyre trying to do to be like “aw kratos isnt so bad and atreus isnt gonna kill him for being a dick”! i can seriously only see two routes for the next game that they set up REALLY. HARD. AND IN YOUR FACE. 1) atreus (now known as loki because itll be the next game and thats the end of game reveal) kills kratos at some point because he learns of everything that Kratos has done in greece, because, idk hes loki he’ll figure some shit out, or 2) Kratos dies trying to protect Loki from Thor because Thor is the Next Big Baddie and we need a reason to continue using God of War in the title and what better way than to make Loki a rage filled hateful character that needs to exact revenge on an entire branch of mythology because they killed his dad, who wasnt even that good a guy, but he was still his dad so fuck them all, you know? It’s gonna be fuckin dumb whatever it is, but there’s no way Kratos survives the next God of War, assuming that’s what it’s gonna be called, like jsut from a sheer narrative standpoint, and the fact its teased in one of the final cutscenes of the game that he’s gonna die in loki’s arms, but i dont know what the fuck that snake looking shit it so im not gonna try to guess u feel me i dont know norse mythology. but uh, yeah. also the whole ragnarok thing, that’s, uh, next game i guess? but i dont mean to be here talkign about whatll come sooooo... i swear i had more to say but quite frankly ive been typing this for more that 30 minutes and im not spending more time figuring out what it was gnight yall but yeah this game fucking doesnt know what it wants to be thats the tldr for ya

#god of war #god of war spoilers #dear god lots of spoilers use your eyes guys

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gayspock · 4 years

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bake off ep 6 liveblog lets go ladies give us nothing

i hate this place

- i knowi keep calling him travis marcelroy but im actually really warming up to mark the mans just having a good time. travis mcelroy’s good and pure twin brother. forbidden man. he just VIBING.

- that being said now im starting to like him he’s probably cursed. gonna get knocked out

- also in general: i do understand why some ppl think some of the show is getting, like, increasingly gimmicky. it is like that a lot of the time. like literally when they asked for busts of celebrities made out of cake in week 1.... like ok. gimmicky and unneccessary and should be more of a last week thing. but like i dont think them branching into stuff like japanese week & 1980s week and whatnot is THAT bad . like i do think it needs to be changed and it needs to branch out over the years (like if the show just stood... at a standstill it would not be a show any more. literally like if it had jsut stayed on the bbc with all the OGs it would not be AROUND in 2020) and i do think tht like.... stuff like this, where they’re kinda changing what theyre making, but not making them do stupid extra shit that’s just pushing them to fuck up . i think its a nice balance

- EDIT: AFTER WATCHING THE EPISODE. I HAVE COME BACK IN TO SAY. NEVERMIND. I SHOULD HAVE REMEMBERED THIS IS THE GREAT B R I T I S H BAKEOFF AND THEY WOULDNT BE ABLE TO PULL OF JAPANESE WEEK. GOODNIGHT GIRLS.

- also all the little buns are so cute

- THEYRE LIKE MAD FUCKED UP UR RIGHT LAURA BUT I THINK THEIR LITTLE FACES ARE SO PRECIOUS OMG............................. TINY LITTLE FACES TINY LITTLE NOSIES TINY LITTLE EYES AHHHHH

- OBSESSED WITH THE LOTTIE AND MARK DYNAMIC THIS EPISODE.

- theyre a bit fucked up but i love them nayways

- dave ur like my second least favourite and thats not BAD its just bc i literally keep forgetting ue xist, and i STILL get shocked every time u reappear but this... i respect you for this

chicken.

- no offence . i think even if theyre matcha..... crepe cakes just look so fucking nasty like. i just cant see how texturally and tastewise tht’d be good??? like surely ur just eating all the ganache (idk HOW to spell tht dont come for me) in like. a big fuckin stack??????

- not 2 be salty. but rmemeber when other bakers performed a little badly in the signature & then performed really well in technical and it didnt matter they were just portrayed as being a mess. like mak who did so well in technical but it didnt matter bc his first bake was literally boring. and the technical just never seems to matter with ppl until its like... meanwhile peter does the same and he’s redeemed INSTANTLY. like WHY. why is he like... the favourite??? literally I WOULDNT MIND HIM IF THEY DIDNT KEEP . PUTTING THIS DUDE ON A PEDESTAL FOR MEDIOCRITY LIKE HALF THE TIME HE ISNT DOING THAT WELL AT ALL. like hes been held to a completely different standard and its absurd and he has the personality of fucking cardboard. smug little prick i will end him.

- like they keep hyping up the ideas he has and then whent hey get to judging they point out the things he did bad and theyre comparable to most of the ppl who fuckdd up but they just dont care ? im so done with him . anyways

- me too man

- also this screenshot looks like one of those... whenu have a token straight friend in the group pics.

- travis marcelroy completely butchering the word kawaii is sending me absolurely off the rails . mans trying his best

- HIS LITTLE AVOCADO CAKES ARE GONNA HAVE LITTLE AVOCADO CHILDREN?

- OH IM OBSESSED MARK IM SO OBSESSED

- give this episode to the MARCKS

peter its stupid and i hate it and its head looks like a fucking tit

SORRY IDC WHAT PPL SAY ITS WONKY AND ITS SUCH A STUODAFFSD... A SHUTTLECOCK. WHY. IK HE DOES BADMINTON OR WHATEVER BUT A FUCKIN.... KAWAII SHUTTLECOCK ?? THEY BETTER NOT DRAG ANYONE ELSE FOR THEIR DESIGNS BC WHO IN THEIR RIGHT MIND.. A SHUTTLECOCK?

- most other ppl did sth tht is like... like they all make SENSE. they did animals (like the dogs) or they did foods that are often, like... done as cute patterns and stuff (avocados, pineapple, mushrooms) ... who the fuck. shuttlecock. okay.

- “its a hell of a chew, bc thats the style of the sponge” this si what i mean who the fuck... chewy sponge? anyone else would get ROASTED . what do you MEAN THE STYLE OF THE SPONGE PAUL. I HATE YOU AND YOUIR FAVOURITES

- okay so he said his flavours were bad. now heres tghe thing. the literal fucking thing. whenever ANYONE ELSE has performed badly on both signature and showstopper, irrelevant of their place on the technical, they have been in the danger zone. so they better fucking discuss peter or else im genuinely gonna be SO mad . like its insanity how literally they dont ever care abt technical (whether considering sb, or who to send home) until one of their faves depend on it. fucking milk toast peter. sickens me

- dave im sorry i keep forgetting you its really cute. i love it. puppy.

- im gonna DHSODGJIOSGS LOTTIE HE LOOKS SO SCARED

- CAN LOTTIE GET SB? I KNOW THIS MAN LOOK FUCKED UP BUT LITERALLY ... TASTGE AND TEXTURE SEEMS INSANE, GOO LOTTIE! GIVE OUR GIRLIE THIS WIN

- are you kidding me so now design matters with hermine fine it isnt kawaii but FCKING. LISTEN. CHERRY BLOSSOM MAKES MRLE SENSE TBHAN A FUCKIN SHUTTLECOCK YOU -

- LIKE I SAID. FUCKING PETER SERVES UP A CHEWY, RUBBERY SPONGE IN THE SHAPE OF A FUCKING SHUTTLECOCK WITH EYES.

HERMINE SERVES UP A GENOISE AND SURE ITS A LITTLE THICK AND STUFF BUT LITERALLY ITS... im sick of it all im sick of it all literally why are you so obsessed with peter STOP TALKING ABOUT PETER

- ITS A LITTLE FUCKING FAMILY

- OH NO

- ITS DRY? ITS FLAVOURLESS? ITS- ITS INMEDIBLE!??!?!

- OH NO

- TRAVIS MARCELROY IM SORRY I CURSED YOUJ NO NO NON I DONT LIKE YOU IM SORRY I ACCIDENTALLY PUT U ON MY FAVES LIST AND NOW YOURE DOOMED

EVERYONE TAKE A KNEE FOR THE KING

ALSO NOBODY CORRECTED THIS POOR MAN YOU ALL KEPT LETTING HIM SAY KAWAII LIKE THAT IM SCREAMING

- laura thriving now she’s seen travis marcelroy has fucked up terribly and she gets to stay. good for you laura i guess. god bless you and all

- you wilL PUT-

- YOU WILL PUT HERMINE DOWN AT THE BOTTOGM TOO?

- IN TERMS OF L-...

- HEY? HEY? SO WHAT ABOUT PETER? PETER WHO DIDNT DO WELL IN SIGNATURE? WHOSE CAKE WAS CHEWY AND FLAVOURLESS?

- LITERALLY THIS . I AM SO FUCKING MAD I HATE THEM SO MUCH

- YAAAY STARBAKER LOTTIE

- AND TRAVIS MARCLEOR.Y...

CAN WE ALL GET AN F. IM EVERYONE JSUSG CRYING BC WE ALL LOVE HIM. LOVELY RADIANT MAN.

#egg.txt #sorry STILL fuming abt hermine getting ignored for SB . sick of this world #gbbo liveblog

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isaacathom · 7 years

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I should be thinking about Zeke and his deal but instead im thinking about how i can fuck with all the gym leaders and have a bunch of them be my other characters.

for instance, all my ggs characters?? perfectly equipped to exist in Urica. considering Urica is victoria and ggs literally takes place in victoria. its a match made in heaven. i can also totally include Black, in an aesthetic sense - i can absolutely take her black with green highlight aesthetic and put it on like, a Dark type gym leader. i can imagine it

only issue is i diiid want the gym leaders to have some impact, to have some INPUT on the story as a whole. something like the ending of bw1 when all the gym leaders (except the triplets cause fuck em i guess?) showed up at the castle to help. but a lil more? include the e4 in on the scheme. the champion herself is 100% present and is even personally responsible for arresting Dante at the end. yknow. so having the gym leaders be a bunch of characters who shouldnt /really/ be there is sorta weird for that, a little counter intuitive. at least with the Black thing, its just her look, not actually her. mostly because Black is a straight up shadow monster. though, if its her aesthetic, shoooulllld the gym leader use a wheelchair too? that would complete the look. i feel like if there is a gym leader with a wheelchair, either they should have psychic pokemon (because that makes sense in a practical way) or theyre gym needs to be placed very precisely. if i want that gym leader to actually participate, their gym either needs to be the City gym (yknow, the one you can skip by fighting Rhia, though you’ll need to come back for it eventually) or one of the very close ones, orrrr they can be placed further away and removed from the story climax by saying ‘well, how did you really EXPECT them to get here???’. since, like.... if they need their wheelchair, they HAVE to travel manually. unless their pokemon, like a big fuck off bird, can have the leader on their back and the wheelchair in their claws?? but then how does the leader get on the back. also it has to be a Big Fucking Bird, like a gigantic bird, the biggest bird, the strongest bird. uh, one idea would be for the leader to actually stay in the chair and have them like, locked into a seat on the back? if that makes sense? but thats also logistically a pain. guess thats what a psychic pokemon would be for, huh? but if the bird wouldnt work, theres no other real way to get around beyond travelling by car or plane or whatever. so if their gym is aways, they cant get to the city on short notice.

it would actually kind of work if theyre the Eastern gym leader, from that town where Jun is from, where Rhia lives. it sorta fits the idea of that place being badly removed and poorly accessible due to a lack of like, provisions made to help it. so this gym leader is restricted solely to their community, helping with local problems, and can only really leave their town with a LOT of planning. a lot of effort has to go into them travelling a long distance. they cant just go west without help, its a goddamn mountain. 0/10 travel safety.

im not sure which of the options i prefer. having all 8 gym leaders + zeke + elliot + the elite 4 (possibly including that guy who is leaving???) + the champion is a lot of fucking people. so having a few of the gym leaders sit out makes sense? just to reduce clutter. so if a characters situation means it would make sense for them to not be present, why not capitalise? so having a wheelchair bound gym leader live on the other side of the mountain and thus have difficulty accessing the City works for that purpose. admittedly gym leaders can also be removed from the proceedings through the actions of the Team, by having a bunch of team members head to a few specific gyms and distract them.

thatd be fun. ok, so we can totally have a Black themed gym leader, wherever they might end up being in terms of the regions layout. they’d be one of 4 types - Dark, Ghost, Psychic, or Flying. the first two are thematic, the latter two are practical.

for others.... well. there has to be a water gym leader, who runs the gym out of the remains of the ‘Kingslake’ town. i dont really have a character who fits this, except for Ash from EC. which could work, but i dont think his design really fits. uh.... we could include one of the GGS characters, due to the urica/vic thing. of course, which one? by general ages, the only character who really fits is Katja, who would be..... uh..... uhm. hmm...... normal??? she’d essentially be whitney, if i think about it, which is also kinda boring. also i hate whitney and i wouldnt do that to anyone. steel COULD also work? which would place her later on, which works fine, since she doesnt live in the same suburb as the other ggs characters. being an Adult and all. she definitely lived close to melbourne, but for game balancing itd be totally acceptable to place her further away, like Geelong. the alternative is to have one of the younger ggs characters (Read: fucking all of them, theyre all like 16-18) be a really early on gym leader, like... Roxanne? or Cheren. definitely roxanne, at least. but for that, which one, and what type?? i feel like most of their types arent like, super good first gym material? Vivian would be fighting, Kay would be Ice, Sonya would bee... hold on. either electric or water, i suppose. and Isaac would be Psychic. Sonya could work, though i feel like if she is included, then Isaac should be as well?? theyre a duo??? which... hmm... actually, wait, fuck, Isaac and Sonya are both straight up adults, arent they. yea, fuck, theyre uni students. oh theyre totally golden, then. have Sonya be Electric or Water (or Flying, i guess?? or grass??? her power set is very.... broad) and have Isaac be the Psychic gym leader from the next town over. and also not be called Isaac because i already decided i wanted to change that??? besides i wanna have a fire type elite 4 named Isaac with a Ninetales because this is my game and im allowed to have myself be a goddamn elite 4, suckers.

if Sonya is water, that makes her the King Lake gym leader. which... yea, that works. isnt exact to her position in ggs, but it fits. making [Isaac] either the City gym leader (which si also like.... the 2nd or 3rd gym??? which feels too early for a psychic gym, but ill check) orr shes further north. beechworth might be too far north but theres plenty of space between kinglake and beechworth for a gym, i think. well... hmm. fantina is a ghost gym and she was third in platinum, which means its totally feasible to have a psychic gym be right up front. plus, hmmn, hold on. does the player go clockwise or counter clockwise? the region as i have it really roughly in my head is that its a rough loop, with some connecting points back to the city (think kalos but not shit cheers, no stupid black outs in this bitch). so when the player gets to the city, do they go north along the west side of the mountains? or south west down the coast towards geelong? i guess the issue is how you get across the mountains - you almost definitely need strength and rock smash to get through. but why would you get those hms in the west? suurely the towns closest to the mountains would have this stuff? you could maybe justify Strength being elsewhere? that could be interesting. you could also have the Beechworth town be later, despite being a clockwise progression. maybe you need a specific hm to get that far north, you get there, then you get strength? idk. sorta complex. but if i had both Sonya and [Isaac], id want them to be right after each other? though i suppose separating them by games progression but having them be physically close makes sense... and since the Kinglake town is ‘dangerous’ in Urica due to the bushfires, it makes sense to prevent you going directly to it from melbourne? so counter clockwise down the coast makes more sense then? sure. yea aight.

anybody else? thats 3 gym leaders. boi. boi fuck. well, there IS the EC crew, who are also perfectly open for these positions. the kids from RS, well, not so much, unless they were a gimmick trio like striaton. triple battles? fuck me dude imagine a triple battle gym battle, god, dude, holy shit, thatd be sick. /i/ wouldnt, but damn, imagine. god i wish the 3ds was powerful enough to handle triple battles without having a seizure. (in 3d anyway. iirc it ran fine with 2d? admit i didnt triple battle TOO much). so, no RS. EC can. uh... well.... Violet is available as a Fire leader, she’d be fun. Crystal could easily be there too, as aaaaa.... Grass? Grass gym? yea. which you’d want to be fairly early? well, 4th works too. would that make sense based on their surroundings, though. also, these are a lot of girls. i can include Skye as a flying type, but i cant include Will because he’s a dark type (unless i make the Black one a Ghost type, which is acceptable, certainly) but then thats an overwhelming number of character. thatd be 7, if i included 4 of the ec cast + two ggs + black. thats uh... thats too many? 3 might work better. maybe 5? like have it be black, [isaac], sonya, skye, and will? w/ skye probably changing his name to Not Be Shit, thanks, fuck. that leaves 3 original ocs. and Black can be any gender, and would essentially BE a new character, jsut with Black’s aesthetic. purely because i should stop trying to put Black in my stories. so, 4? two ggs and two ec? yea. Isaac as Psychic, and the 2nd gym (again, the skippable one). Sonya as Water, and the new guardian of [Kinglake]. [Skye] as Flying, likely further down the coast, maybe geelong? warnambool? any coastal city works if its got high enough cliffs, my guy. Will as Dark works fine for basically anywhere, but i think after Skye in progression. i like that.

then this Ghosty Fan who probably shouldnt be the last gym leader...... hmm.... but then where?? they could be up near the desert, where the old team base is??? someone has to be that gym leader. why would they be dressed in black in the desert? thats a good goddamn question. maybe not. man, it depends on where the gym towns are as to where the ghost goes. the desert is not the place, though. 0/10 not a good place. certainly not with that outfit. like, ghost would ALMOST make sense for that location due to the team base, and it being tied to this idea of it being the Ghost of the team, or where Seren’s ‘ghost’ is located. notably, Elliot will not come with you to the desert town. he just wont. he wont do it, dude. he’ll meet you at the entrance and say ‘yea good luck’ and he wont come in with you. so ghost might be fitting for that alone? but with the physical design? nah. but they shouldnt be TOO far back, right? though, since Acerola is like.... uh.... 5-6th gym leader equivalent in terms of when her trial occurs, i dont see any reason i couldnt have a ghost gym appear later on. its just that those that exist so far are all far more forward, i guess. im down for that??? maybe beechworth, or, again, the eastern thingo. idk. im gonna have to like, plannnn the region out some more. OOH, fuck, i was gonna include phillip island/pseudo tasmania too, fuck, where the fuck does THAT slot into progression. fuuuuck. uuuuuuuh. shit. where DOES that fit. after skye???? like, you fight Skye over in Geelong or whatever, , you get surf, you go on a big surfing adventure? why would.... the flying gym leader..... give you surf.... like, ok, the Water gym leader cant give you surf, because shes busy and thatd be REALLY late in the game to get Surf. considering most gens are like, badge 3-5 for surf (as an out of battle move) which would place it at a gym betweeeeeen Isaac and Skye? since there likely is one??? hmm..... hmmmmmmm.........

im thinking either the island or the east should be post game. OR, OH FUCK, the elite 4 could be on the island, fuck, we solved it, fuckers we’ve done it, the island is the champions village. there are probably some other spots though. kinglake, for one. ooh, that’ll be neat. you start on the other side of the lake and you have to surf over and its all nice and then BAM everythings burnt to shit my guy. nice. i like it. see that works. means i can introduce Surf as a usable hm whenevvvver. or just attach it to Skye because who cares, honestly, and attach Fly to the desert one. ooh, and that could be fun. like, you fight that gym leader, they go ‘now you have my badge, you can use fly! do you have fly? oh, you dont? hmm. You’re hanging with Elliot, right? maybe ask him. I’d have asked him in advance but he doesn’t like coming to this town. bad memories, I’ve heard’ and thatd be like, your first really blatant hint that Elliots got a past. you could even ask him about it next time you see him, alongside asking if he knows where you can get the Fly Hm (he MIGHT have it, idk). and hed go ‘huh? oh, haha, you know, sometimes small events happen, and theyre nothing major, of course, but they stick in your head and they taint a place, huh?’ or something really obviously dodging. then later Rhia spills the juice. nice.

i feel like there should be other places to use surf, though. perhaps surf is required in the mountain to get to the East? i can see that. that basically works.

ok i gotta fuckign wrap up ive had this post opn for like 3.5 hours jesus fuck

#story blogging #codename seren #long post #i got VERY uh. distracted? invested? all of them above and more #just went on a few thought trains. my ultimate conclusion is i really need to rough about the actual laout of Urica #so i can place gyms and hms n shit. so i know the structure

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