#dude it’s the best ever thank you Quackity for doing this cool as fuck server you’re the best

[redshrimpnb]

French dudes in the qsmp are unhinged:

Étoiles just went out of the cage thing and he went directly discovering the map without thinking

Antoine is too preoccupied being a boomer and screaming Mr. Worldwide and Brazil with sunglasses on

Kamet0 argues with every other French like he’s their old fed up husband

Was even Aypierre there? He took some materials to help build up the house for Pomme but we almost didn’t hear of him

Baghera, shot out to you, you’re a single mum with a good heart

Philza is going to be a part of Pomme’s family I stg the French are LOST (it’s not their fault it’s in their genes, thankfully Baghera is from Switzerland)

Anyway I still love my country, je suis un garçon et je mange la pomme lmao

[rhaenyraisadyke]

Healthy Competition Transcript: 7/25/21

It's the entire thing so I hope this helps!

W: Hey.. Phil

P: Oh.. Hey

W: Hey, hey Phil how’s it going? How's It going man?

P: Oh, it's going, it's going alright.

W:I just thought I'd visit, Phil. I just thought you knew I would come and visit you. I haven’t seen you in awhile.

W: Phil I must confess I have come to you with a bit of a proposition. You into propositions Phil? Are you a proposition kind of guy?

P: Oh it depends depends, oh you, you’ve had some pretty lets just say not a great track record of propositions you’ve had in the past

W: I mean I’m trying to move past that. Listen Phil, I met Quackity after you kindly lent me your house, I went and met him, I met up with him, and I hadn't seen him in ages and it was nice, it felt good. He didn't seem afraid of me. Which is cool, not many people do. Phil, you don’t seem afraid of me?

P: No. No not at all

W: Good. Good because I’m not afraid of you. Uh.. Listen I met quackity and I hung out with him and I came to one conclusion about him and MY GOD the pricks resourceful aint he.

P: Yes.. he’s very.. he's one of the richest on the server at the minute. He's one of the richest people

W: What happened? What? You, you are telling me Quackity, the guy who made SWAG party, would be the richest man, geez I wouldn’t have believed you for a second but here we are.

But look, Phil, I am a bit of a propagator of the idea that capitalism shouldn’t be unchecked. You know the free market, maybe isn’t ever really that free you know. I am a bit into my interjection, you know the government interjection but there’s isn't a government anymore phi its anarchy it's pretty much what ah I see his name I see his name. (Ran boo)

P: Ha, Ha you see it

W: As much as I disagree with your opinions on anarchy. It's pretty harmless. I can’t hate you for it. I can’t hate you for literally living in a peaceful little village in the snow, I mean the server, it's never been this peaceful since the countries and nations and cities… So Phil I came to you with one question. Do you think quackity should be allowed to be left unchecked?

P: Uh no.

W: Do you think he should be allowed to grow? Oh you answered already. I agree with you Phil, I also don’t think quackity should be allowed to be left unchecked.

But you know what the problem is, there’s no Interpol, there’s no government, there’s no police force.. Technoblade spent this entire time taking down the establishment and what he's left with as predicted a POWER VACUUM for a new establishment to come in and this establishment is ahh ahh pretty unethical Phil its gambling, you a fan of gambling

P: Oh gods

W: This servers like 50% children Phil..

P: oh gods that's terrible.. yeah no that's awful.

W: ahh haha don’t sound too..

P: Gambling ruins peoples lives dude.

W: TRUE TRUE! And you know what He's getting away with , Phil. I have a proposition for you, I am glad you’re on my side and glad you agree with this Phil. I want to make a burger van.

P: Oh….

W I know when you heard of the burger van, you walked away. I get it. It's a bit of deja vu, but the difference is the burger van isnt gonna sell drugs. We are against toxic money making schemes now. We GENUINELY, genuinely selling burgers, I want to make burgers, I want to make every stake so it has a name. And. And uh (Wilbur re reads the book “Project Nevadas” Quackity left for him)

P: It definitely sounds better than the drug van,

W: yeah yeah yeah that's what I’m going to do Phil, but you see you need to understand I need someone to help me, because I’m not doing this for any reason outside of “I have an aspiration.. a goal in life to be a culinary expert” I want to be chef now Phil. I’m done now with being a President, being a government, being an authority, I want to be a burger man. I wanna sell burgers. That's my calling. That's been my calling all along. There's no ulterior motive behind this plan. I’ve got the real-estate, I’ve got the know-how and I’ve got the chutzpah (it's a yiddish word for guts basically woooo). Phil are you in?

P:I mean, ahh. You know I don’t know much about making burgers and burger vans, but I want to know who does?

W: Who?

P: Ranboo. He could help out.

W: what the fuck does he know about burgers?

P: he's literally the richest most knowledgeable person on the server besides me -

W: Phil you called - that's literally the second person you called the richest on the server. How does being rich climate him know about burgers?

P: Well you said you needed bread, you said you needed resources.. he has everything you could need.

W: What do you mean?

P: And also, he kinda knows… Right i'll be honest i'll be honest will, he's a little bit lonely, um there’s not much going on out here we are in a wilderness, a snowy blizzard wilderness right? Nothing goes on, nothing really happens here.

W: ha haha, sorry sorry. I didn’t mean to laugh at him being lonely. That shouldn’t of tickled me.

P: He needs something to keep him busy, to keep him occupied. He's done everything on the server, he's literally done everything. Give him, give him something else to do. Have fun.

W: I don’t want to. I genuinely don't want to. He's weird Phil. he's the weird neighbor kid.

P: oh STOP no stop!

W: Look at him he's that weird neighbor kid who's got something going on, you know maybe in the basement or something there’s something going on right.

P: he's harmless he's harmless

W: he's harmless now, give him a burger van and he might spatula me. Phil looks at me. Can you imagine a spatula through my skull? Huh?

P: That's not gonna happen. He’s very nice. Go make friends. Alright

W: All I need is a fire aspect sword, a bunch of cows, an anvil and some levels and we can do this Phil.

P: And he (ranboo) can give you all of those.

W: Oh my gosh stop making me play with the neighbor kids.

P: Alright stop I’m putting my foot down. If you don’t go play with them right now, I’m kicking you out of the house.

W: What the fuck?! What do you mean? Kicking? You can’t just kick- ohhhhh

P: I can and will.

W: Phil I’m ah…

P: Be nice. Go say hi, he's great. He's a great guy

W: Look Phil I trust you, I'll trust you this much, and I'll trust you that he's fine and he can help me, BUT if he's shit, you gotta come help. You gotta be burger boy with me.

P: I’ll be around, I'll be around, he's fine, you'll be fine, you guys will get along so well.

W: Thanks Phil…

P: You got this Wil, bye mate.

W: I don’t really want… What is this, why is he treating me like a kid? Like a little baby? Oh shit he's got cows…. Ah aH oh god I wasn’t built for this (gets attacked by a spider which he then crits the spider) There we go.. My man got cows. This bread as well?? No,it's not that he can farm apparently. Wait, that is bread. Wait… was that fire aspect? Is this a set up? I guess I'll befriend him… Knock knock - oh

R: woah oh

W: Hi Ranboo

R: Woah hello

W: You remember me?

R: Yeah I remember you. How are you? Its been awhile

W: It's been a little while, I mean we only met once, I mean I was just coming through visiting me pa, in his little cottage in the snow, very cute in the snow isn't it?

R: Yeah it is very nice

W: I just happened to notice you have a lot of cows.

R: Yeah! yeah I have a nice little cow farm, it's been pretty good for food recently so its been kind of yeah.

W: Can you hit one of them with your sword again please?

R: You want me to kill one?

W: Yeah quickly

R: yeah okay

W: Ranboo, I have a proposition for you

R: Yeah what’s that?

W: I know we have not got off on the best of terms but I'd like to think bygones be bygones let's bury the hatchet, let's be..

R: Yeah

W: Ranboo I’m gonna go out on a limb here, do you want to be friends?

R: S- Sure. I don’t see why not. You seem alright.

W: Cool cool. Thank you, thank you, you seem alright too. Can I come inside?

R: Oh yeah sure sure

W: I have a proposition for you.

R: Do you like my live laugh love sign?

W: Why is life capitalized?

R: it's the most important one

W: Ha, living is the most important one, living Is above laughing and loving?

R: Yeah it's priority number one honestly I just look at it when I wanna know what to do.

W: ha, okay, look look my proposition to you, um (looking at the ranboo rug)

R: Yeah its um it's my nice little rug here

W: We, we will talk in the hallway, my promotion to you ranboo was, as I have a dream of being a culinary chef.

R: Oh really! Thats nice

W: I’ve been doing a lot of things on this server. You know? President, terrorist, dead.

R: yeah that's one of them

W: I feel like the next progression is chef. Every, you know the saying….

R: okay…

W: All musicians wanna be comedians, and all dead terrorist presidents wanna be chefs. So I decided I wanna be a chef.

R: Okay! Okay.

W: I want to be a chef for no other reason than I like cooking okay?

R: Cool!

W: All I need though, is I don’t have much to my name. I have a lot of stones, I have some TnT, I have some stone tools, and a rabbit's foot.

R: Oh okay.

W: But I don’t have the cows, I don’t have the fire aspect sword, and I thought if you wanted to we could um you could we could be business partners. I’ve got the real-estate. I’ve got a great location. It’s gonna be bustling, with people eventually, there’s gonna be people coming and going, hungry too! They’re gonna be coming and going, in and out and in and out and we’ll be here

R: Yeah…

W: And get the money! We will get the money Ranboo.

R: I mean yeah sure I’ve been needing something to do, I’m down for that. That would be cool.

W: Cool, cool come with me. I gotta show you the real-estate.

R: I’m actually really glad

W: I see this as the blooming of a brilliant business relationship or a business partnership. Have you heard of Las Nevadas?

R: ohhh… yeah, yeah I remember I had an old, old cookie stand there awhile back that we just decided to abandon because it was just.. it was more just trouble.

W: A cookie stand?

R: It was more trouble than it was honestly worth.

W: Wait, you tried? You had a cookie stand?

R: I mean yeah….

W: Outside of Las Nevadas? So you did the cooking?

R: Yeah it was a little, yeah

W: Outside of Las Nevadas?

R: Yeah but then, but then, he the guy Quackity, he got all up in arms about it and everything because we decided to expand a little bit and then we just decided it was, it was too much troubles so then we kinda just, we kinda just left it so

W: So he didn't like it? He didn't like your selling of a cookie stand?

R: Yeah he didn't like it all too much. I don’t, I don’t know what it was but like it was just eh it was just more dumb conflict but eh ti was whwatever.

W: Well that's fine, that's fine because we’re Ranboo we’re not gonna annoy quackity… we can’t annoy him because we are simply put, gonna be making, I got the real-estate and he gave me the area and we are going to be making a competing business.

R: okay…

W: Because competition makes business flourish, the consumer.. Do you like the consumer? You’re a bit- a big fan of the consumer ranboo?

R: Yeah yeah, I consume things from time to time

W: Look Ranboo the consumer, the consumer is the one who does well when there is um conflict and competition right?

R: Yeah that makes sense

W: So what I want to do is make competition right? So I want to make competition so when Las Nevadas fully opens up and you can go gambling and stuff I want to make it so that people have options so people don't just have to eat at las Nevadas grills and such. So if they want they can come to our grill,

R: Yeah that's good

W: and the difference is that is that we will make our grill better than theirs and we will make lots of money and then quackity will be able to you know maybe have to make a deal with us and to maybe be our friend and and

R: But we are gonna do this respectfully right? We are gonna do something smaller and everything right?

W: Yeah I have the land and we can make it small and honestly there’s no reason for us to go further out then we need to because you know we got the location. So have you ever been in Las Nevadas or gambling Ranboo?

R: Well no, no one has actually been there when I’ve been there.

W: It’s very fun, gambling is very fun.

R: Ah

W: Gambling is what I would argue like the only reason to go to this Las Nevadas place, I mean there’s nothing else to do there

R: Okay…

W: Its like its ll that happens you know

R: Yeah just gambling

W: There's a strip club there Ranboo

R: OH yeah! For logs

W: You- you into strippers?

R: Um I mean all it just does is make the wood look different so it doesn’t really do much

W: It does make the wood look different. You’re right, you’re right Ranboo. Would you say you like Quackity? Sorry I’m really bombing you with questions right now - eh I just wanna, I want to pick your brain. I wanna know how Ranboo works.

R: Hmm no its okay its okay. I’m completely okay with it, yeah. Um I think that I, hes, I mean the thing is I just haven't seen him in so like long you know the last interaction with him I had was before the stuff that happened with everything else it's just kind of been I don't know, we were part of the same cabinet with New Lmanburg or whatever it was.

W: Cabniet…

R: Yeah Canbiet it was like…

W: A canbiet? Was this with Tubbo…?

R: Yeah yeah he had like me, Fundy, I was the minutes man and I wrote stuff down well they never checked my notes so I don’t know how useful my job was honestly. I don't know if they actually needed me but I was there.

W: Yeah yeah I know that. I know that feeling.

R: Yeah

W: So you were part of the old Lmaburg government? I didn’t know that actually.

R: Yeah, yeah

W: I thought you were a bit of an independent. I thought you were you know… so you would say you are friends with Quackity?

R: I mean yeah.. I mean I’m not really TOO much against him, but I mean yeah

W: Do you dislike anyone Ranboo?

R: Not.. too much I dont think. I mean there are other people I don't agree with of course but I think everyones just a product of what they have gone through and everything so if you understand that then you understand that, then you understand the person.

W: But don’t you think there’s sometimes allying yourself with everyone you know, it can actually make your life more complicated, more complex, more difficult…. more…

R: Yeah….. which is why I’ve kinda just went to live with Techno and Phil kind of away from everything. And try not to involve myself in that much. But then I just have a terrible radar of what is involving myself and what isn't so.

W: Right..

R: It's difficult sometimes.

W: It sounds like you set yourself up for a bit of a stressful, stressful life… So you don’t dislike anyone?

R: Yeah…

W: What about Dream?

R: Ummm yeah Well that's that. With Dream it's kind of like, all I’ve, all I’ve heard about Dream, all I’ve seen about Dream is just been the really bad things that he's done and everything so I would say I- I yeah I don’t really like Dream, but I mean he's also not really someone that it matters whether or not I like him because he's away in that prison for a very long time, so I mean, yeah.

W: With no trail.

R: Well I mean.. he… its

W: This is our competition Ranboo!

R: Oh!

W: Here's the competition

R: Okay. No ones really been here I dont think…

W: Can you even buy anything?

R: I don’t think they have half, half doors… they have

W: Smokers, Furnaces, they don't, it's just nothing

R: Huh.

W: It doesn't benefit the consumer Ranboo does it? Imagine you come here gambling.. First off the fucking door is shut

R: Mhm

W: Wait there’s a hole…

R: ohh… uh? that's interesting. I haven't been here in awhile, I just haven't been outside in awhile honestly.

W: Are we allowed… in?

R: I dont… I dont know.

W: It looks like crap Ranboo. Don't bother, it looks awful.

R: Oh, oh okay. Okay.

W: The point is this does not benefit the consumer right? This building does not benefit the consumer, it's just made to look pretty and make the consumer feel like.. lee do a test. I can promise you me ol, or should I say new pal, that this sign, I guarantee will not go. That will be here forever and that will never leave. (Signs that say “closed forever” “Quackity burger place is crap” “Go behind this building to better burgers'')

R: It's.. I don't know if abandoned is the right word, I don't know what you call it.

W: There we go, I guarantee these signs will stay there because they don’t care about the customer. They only care about looking cool and ooh ooh we got a restaurant, no they dont.

R: Yeah no one is really keeping it up.

W: Let me show you the real-estate. This is the best part, so come with me. Bah bum ba bum bum bum bum ba Oh ranboo, do you see the cock ranboo?

R: Oh that's what that is? I thought it was a clock actually

W: See that cock?

R: Yeah I see it.

W: That's our border. Well, technically, this wood is our border. This area.

R: Okay.

W: This area is ours. I’ve been trying to think of a name for it.

R: Hmm

W: I’m thinking about Paradise.

R: Paradice…

W: How’d you think about Paradise Ranboo?

R: Well I mean it could be good word play with the whole gambling thing.. pair of dice.

W: That is good.. you, you really are a smart cookie, a smart kind of guy.

R: Thank you!

W: Well, this is where I’ve been sort of working. So this is sort of where Tommy and I have been working. Tommy sadly couldn’t be here to help me, and um let me show you where I think we should make the burger van.

R: okay

W: Well I think it should be, it's to be close to the border so that people can access it and then get straight back to gambling. The customer, the customer, is happy, the customer gets their burgers and then goes straight back to gambling. How about we build it here, right here.

R: Right here? Okay that works. So what do you have in mind, you seem to have a vision.

W: 1950s… burger, retro. Red and white stripes.

R: Red and White okay, I have Blue?

W:Blue…

R: I have blue.

W: I’m not a big fan of Blue.

R: oh okay well I don’t really know where to get a lot of red.

W: Flowers… I can get you red. Ranboo you seem to be proficient, you can start building the van I’ll be back.

R: Alright..

W: Also, also give me your fire aspect, I’ll get the beef and then we can begin and we can get the bread.

R: okay uh here

W: Ran-orad, Ranaord? Ranord.

R: I name all my things with different puns. It's just Ran and sword

W: That's good, that's a good one, new friend, I like it. This isn't drawing any parallels to your cookie shop right? This is a completely different feeling?

R: yeah no the cookie shop I’m pretty sure, I don't even know if it was a cookie shop to begin with… because it was a little fortified if i'm entirely honest…

W: Fortified?

R: yeah did you not see like oh! That giant stone structure as you came in here and walked around

W: oH wait, that's a cookie shop?

R: Yeah

W: I thought it was like a, I thought it was like a palisade

R: no I mean tubbo told me it was for cookies but I’m thinking about it now..

W: oh tubbo.. tubbo.

R: I don’t think it was

W: See I like tubbo man, he's strong headed and he doesn't let people push him around.

R: Yeah yeah

W: Did you learn a lot? Did you learn a lot from him?

R: Maybe yeah, I also just, if people aren't willing to change their views or anything I find it unnecessary to mindlessly argue so.

W: So Ranboo you say this yet you show up in all the conflict. I’m not I’m not coming at you like judging you, I'm not one to talk about conflict.

R: Mhm mhm

W: But when I think of Ranboo I don't think of what a calm guy who’s neutral and stays out of everything, I don't think of Switzerland when I think of you ranboo, I think I think you're a bit more dynamic than that, why do you claim that you’re so peaceful and neutral and yet you appear in almost every conflict the server has had since I died.

R: I mean ah, that's because I’m bad at avoiding the thing that I don't like, which is, I don’t know it's it's weird. It's a weird situation that it's mostly my fault but I’ve been doing alright with it recently. I haven't been doing too much to anger people I don't think but I think it's just because I really want to help sometimes and sometimes I let my desire to help people get in the way of what I have previously said or previously claimed about myself.

W: Ranboo? Why did you come to help me?

R: Well because I think, well I need one I kind of need something to do and this is pretty fun, I like building little things and everything although they may not look too good and also I just think you can I think you are an alright person you know? So I kind of wanted to get off on a better foot from what happened before.

W: Why?

R: Just because I don't really like having the thought that people don't really like me.

W: No no not the bit about the right foot, why don’t you think I’m a bad person?

R: Well I mean I think you did bad things but you also went through things that made you that way and then I also think that you’re changed now. I mean if you ask me to talk to the older Wilbur before you died, for a little bit then yeah I would think you’re kind of not a good person.

But I think now you’ve apparently been away long enough, that I think if anyone goes away long enough for that long of a time that eventually they’ll have a thought of their morality, and everything and become a better person because of it. So, I'm hopeful. I’m hopeful. I like having a good amount of optimism.

W: Cool.. ah cool that's nice, thank you.

R: Yeah!

W: Uh, I think I needed to hear that, I’ve um, can I be real with you? Sorry Ranboo, you really got me. Fucking hell can I be real with you man?

R: Yeah sure.

W: I think I scare people.

R: I mean, yeah I do the same thing

W: No no, I mean I don't think I, I think a lot of people share your idea in trying to try… to keep me from hurting you know? They have seen what I can do and they don’t want me to do it again, so they adopt your emotion in order to do it.

Do you know I demolished his house and brutally ignored him? He fought for my country! And I ignored him. I didn't look at him. I didn't give him so much a medal, I didn't give him so much a rank, I gave him the lowest rank in the cabinet, and do you know what it took? Do you know what it took for him to forgive me? A “sorry” And I’ve, I’ve spoken to Tommy about Jack Manifold, and Jack Manifold is NOT the sort of person to forgive with a sorry.

Can you imagine if Dream said sorry to Jack Manifold? What has Dream done to Jack Manifold huh? Barely anything. I imagine if Dream said sorry to Jack Manifold, Jack Manifold would ignore him. Do you wanna know why? It’s because Dream is in prison, and I’m not. Dream! He's had his comeuppance and I’ve not! My comeuppance was apparently not good enough for these people, they are just waiting for the next thing, the next slip up and Ranboo I’m not gonna fucking slip up Ranboo. I’m different.

I’m not Dream, god I wish I was. Sometimes I wish I was. I wish I had that comeuppance. But Ranboo I’m not Dream and I’m not gonna be Dream and that's ahhh. I am living in eternal limbo again. I’ve been through limbo. I'm out of limbo and socially I’m still in limbo and man hearing you say those words that you said to me, do you remember what you said?

R: Yeah… I do?

W: You said “I think people can change” that's number one

R: Mhm

W: And number two you’re “scared if people don’t like you”

R: Yeah

W: I’ve been investing, I’ve been investing into the wrong areas Ranboo. I’ve been investing in the wrong people. Were kindred man, we get each other

R: Yeah, Yeah I’d say so.

W: We have SO much difference, but you know what the one thing we got incommon? Our strongest point? And you mustn't take offense to this, okay?

R:Okay..?

W: Neuroticism. Me and you are just as neurotic as each other. Just as nervous but the thing is it’s not our downfall you know? Anxiety isn't necessarily an evil trait to have. Anxiety is what kept our ancestors alive Ranboo.

R: Yeah

W: You? Me? Your Parents, whoever they may be, my parents, do you know how they’re alive? Because they were anxious. They didn't let another thing kill them, they didn't let another thing take them down. Our ancestors, the cavemen in the woods or the cave enderman, were anxious when they heard the lion roar; they were anxious when the wolf howled. And you know what they did? They went inside and they hid and that's what they did and that's why we are here today. Ranboo me and you are neurotic, and that's why we are alive..right now talking to each other and doing this.

R: Okay…… I really, I really do hope that's um a good thing.

W: Sorry, ha, that's uh that might have come across- I’m really sorry I meant um, I’ll go get you some more red.

R: No no I understand what you mean I think, we both are kind of thinkers I think well yeah, we tend to think about a lot of things. Think about a lot of situations and how people are affected by said situations. How we can make things better and although we may think in different ways the fact we both, I think we both think at the same level just in different ways sometimes.

W: I think you might be a bit braver than me and showing your true colors. I feel like, I feel like with you Ranboo I never have to guess your next move. I never have to guess your hand, you know?

R: Yeah

W: I feel like, I feel like life dealt us the same cards and the difference is you, you build your trust by showing people your cards whilst, I keep them close to my chest and I feel like that may be the difference. But I’m gonna stop psychoanalysing you so

R: heh

W: And let's… let's, Ranboo how’d you feel about thievery?

R: Oh uh ooh, what types? What do you-

W: I’m going to steal Las Nevadas cows to cook our burgers.

R: Oh oh okay?

W: And I’m not going to re-breed them. I am going to simply kill them.

R: Alright I mean, so you are? Are you gonna steal all of them? Or just

W: Nahh just enough so it's annoying ya know?

R: Okay um

W: Unless, how about this if this makes you feel a bit less uncomfortable about it how about if I steal all the cows unless they have a sign on them that says “these cows are property of las Nevadas” then I’ll leave them alone so unless they have an expressed sign that says “do not steal please” I’ll leave them alone. But if not… it seems like a good idea

R: Okay yeah

W: You’re really good a building vans

R: Oh thank you

W: I’m pretty good at building vans too.

R: Okay.

W: Okay I’ve got the steak.

R: Oh, nice

W: Pretty good, is that enough red for you?

R: I just need something to put the red on

W: Oh cool yeah, I can go find you some wool.

R: There could be some chests around. You know I found a full netherite block in one the other day?

W: Wait what?

R: There was just another netherite block in one of the chests, it was very interesting.

W: I’ve just restocked for us.

R: Ohh, nice I’ll put some of our building materials here. Oh wow, wait did you get, did you get all of them?

W: Yeah heh, pretty good yeah?

R: Oh geez.

….. [Talk about Minecraft mechanics]

W: So this is your cookie factory, your cookie shop, your giant fortress

R: Yeah you realize a lot now that it’s a giant fortress. Sometimes, sometimes I don’t realize things until they’re an afterthought.

W: How is Tubbo?

R: He's um, alright. I think he's doing pretty well.

W: What is he up to right now?

R: He's um he's just building around Snowchester you know? Not really doing-

W: Snowchester?

R: Oh you- don't know about snowchester? It’s basically just like this little- it used to have some people but then everyone just kind of went off on their own ways. It’s just like this little arctic area, a village he created.

W: A town?

R: Yeah basically!

W: So, Las Nevadas, Snowchester, - I thought Techno and Phil told me they were successful? Well just Phil I haven't spoken to Techno since, since, it happened.

R: Mhm Well it

W: Phil told me they were successful and there's no more nations and that there’s anarchy here.

R: Well it's not a nation it's literally just- it's literally just him.

W: What about this Kinoko Kingdom I keep reading about?

R: I have no idea. All they put down there was just signs and I havent heard anything about that honestly.

W: So there’s, there’s a lot going on Ranboo. What part do you play? Go on, You can't be THAT neutral, if you’re not a part of Kinoko Kingdom, then you must be a part of something.

R: I mean I guess you could say I’m a part of.. Snowchester a little bit? I think I’m mainly just um with Phil and Techno I’m pretty sure. It’s mainly, it's mainly just them and everything. Because that's pretty much where I’ve been living for awhile and all so.

W: And now the Paradise Burger Van.

R: And now the Burger Van I guess yeah.

W: Good, good! I’m coming back. Do you need more red or?

R: No, we got enough.

W: Then the final step is to name the burger and name the beef!

R: Name, name the beef?

W: Oh so another thing I wanted to do is to legitimize our burgers so it's not just stake right is to make a uh name for all our stakes so when they've had it you know our stake shop that they know this is our stake shop, and only the high grade beef. So we are all gonna name the burgers with an anvil and I wanted, I wanted to give them like versions and wanted to use an alt code so that no one could copy it. So it's like “hey you’ve got a volume one steak, burger steak” so people would come and it's sort of an NFT value to it. A bit of a you know, once you’ve had volume one of burgers then that's gone forever like versions, is this making sense? Are you following?

R: Yeah this is making sense, I’m following I think

W: Cool cool

R: Yeah

W: What do you think of calling the burger shop?

R: Hmm

W: I’m thinking of either Paradise or Wilburger?

R: Well Wilburger is funny

W: Wilburger is funny but it doesn't take into account the work you put in.

R: Hmm maybe paradise burgers might be good

W: What about Wilbooger?

R: Will- Wait a minute but then that means we have booger in it, and then they will make fun of it.

W: Yeah yeah, paradise burger has a meaning behind it. So like, you know paradise next to Las Nevadas. Have a think

R: Paradise…

W: Weeeeeeeeeeee, ding dong we got everything we need. Right, let me go to an anvil and think of a name. This has been good, this has been chill.

R: This has been nice

W: I feel like we are good business partners. I’m excited to show Tommy. What's your opinion on Tommy?

R: Oh he's great. Tommys awesome.

W: Agreed

R: Yeah. Definitely gone through a lot but I definitely think that has made him a good person.

W: Mmm yeah well you seem to think everyone going through something at least gives them some merit you said

R: Well I mean yeah. I mean if- if no one, the only really bad people are the ones who are just evil because, just because then they don't really have any reason why you know? Those are in my opinion the bad people.

W: Right

R: I don’t really think there’s that many bad people like that so yeah.

W: Let me find an alt code, I want to find a cool alt code for the Wilburger, let's go for a sunbeam

R: ooooh

W: This is sexy, what I've done. Here we go here we go The beef! The bread doesn't have to be named

R: yeah

W: It’s gonna be good. Here we go, here we go. Look at this!

R: Oooohhh thats cool

W: No ones copying that

R: Yeah especially the thing in the eye as well.

W: It's a watermark no one, no one can copy it now so we can sell those with one slice of bread on either side and that's our thing. That's our shtick.

R: Yeah I think thats good thats good

W: I think we are getting to the point Ranboo where we are almost done I mean I do have a question to ask you though

R: Yeah of course ask away.

W: Just gonna put the bread back. This is gonna be a make or break

R: Okay.

W: Come with me

R: Yeah

W: This really could be, could be a make or break. And what about the Wilburger Ran Van?

R: Oh thats good thats good

W: Cool cool, then we’ll have your name on as the co creator I won’t be ceo, I will be vice chairman of the wilburger ran-van corporation

R: Cool, awesome.

W: So here’s our completion ranboo you remember the signs?

R: Yeah? They are still there.

W: Yeah it's good innit? Ranboo I want you to smash the windows.

R: Smash the windows? Like how? How do you want me to do it?

W: Take this (gave ranboo a cobblestone block) hold it in your hand

R: Okay

W: Now break the window.

R: okay

W: More

R: Do more? Okay

W: A lot more

R: keep going? Oh uh oh

[Wilbur places down TNT in a corner of the competition restaurant]

R: Are you sure about that one?

W: Come here

R: Oh? Okay

W: You trust me alright?

R: Yeah?

W: Detonate that, its only in the corner to prove we are not fucking around

R: I mean it's just in the corner right and then it will, it will drop all the blocks

W: Yep

R: And then we can put it somewhere

W: We can put it in a chest next to it.

R: Okay.. ohh Careful! [Wilbur stood really close to the TNT so he took damage]

W: It’s alright

R: That was a little bit more than I thought

W: Picking up those blocks

R: Yep, I think we can just put them in the chests here I think.

W: Okay I’ll fill this in, you passed the test, good job man. You can go back to the van, I’ll be back there soon. Ranboo

R: Yeah?

W: I’m proud of you man. You, you’ve taken a side, you’ve proven you can choose a side and I’m proud of you.

R: Thank- Thank, thank you. I haven't-

W: You’ve got something to work for.

R: Yeah, yeah

W: I’ll see you around. I’m gonna head off after I fix this but you get to work on the Ranvan. See you soon.

R: Yeah I’ll get to work, see you soon, buh bye

W: see you soon man.

[Wilbur breaks one of the signs placed down from earlier then goes to the explosion site and writes a sign with the NFT symbol saying Wilbur + Ranboo Did this together and places a chest to put the exploded materials in a chest along with two diamonds]

W: ahh, I love that guy.

[strawberrylemonz]

January 20, 2021 - DSMP

Here is my review of what happened on today’s stream! Keep in mind that I was only watching Tommy’s POV, but will be analyzing any other viewpoints that I come across (Mainly Tubbo’s)

I’m going to be honest with everyone, I was unsure as to whether not any of our boys would make it out alive. I went into the stream preparing the worst.

Tommy and Tubbo talking each other up, preparing to leave made me feel all kinds of thing. Like I stated earlier, I was prepared for the two to end their adventure today. I vibed with them when they walked down the prime path, and froze up when I saw the first person in line. I’m not ashamed to say that I nearly sobbed when I saw everyone line up to say their goodbyes to the boys (I’m sensitive, shut up). 

The way Sam kept giving them stuff??? Loved that

The way Tommy and Quackity’s voices quivered when they spoke to each other? Punch to the heart?

Tommy telling Eret that she was always the true king??? YES!!! POP OFF!!!

The entire trip to where Dream was both made me happy and broke my heart. Here, we saw these boys, children forced to grow up quickly to be used by those they trusted, do their best to be kids for a moment. They were kids for, what they believed, could be the last time. They had their serious moments where Tommy kept reminding Tubbo that it was okay to not feel okay about the situation. Where Tommy didn’t want Tubbo to hide his inner thoughts from him just to try and make him feel better. The moment that they watched the sun together made me all sentimental and shit. Tommy preparing to die and have Tubbo leave and tell his story broke me. 

“Why did you tell me to bring Tubbo?”

“Because, it’s always been you and Tubbo against me, remember? Ever since the beginning, Tommy and Tubbo against Dream” (paraphrasing)

I actually got hyped up when Tommy got the disc. It reminded me of Tommy’s clutch the time he dropped the disc down to Tubbo and knocked Dream off the tower using only planks. I had let my hope for them grow. And then I had my heart broken.

Dream using Tubbo against Tommy was something that I expected would happen, but I still wasn’t prepared for it to actually happen. I don’t think I’ll easily forget about how Tommy gave up the disc to Dream, even when Tubbo begged for Tommy to keep the disc and go. My heart nearly dropped to my stomach when I saw Dream break that first dirt block. It dropped when he told the boys to put their armor in the hole. 

I have to admit, I was kinda confused that the homeless man had an evil lair and not a home, but pop off I guess??? The elevator was pretty cool, ngl

When I saw the two discs on the floor, I thought, “Bitch, you better be polishing this fucking floor every 30 minutes. Disrespect Nicki Minaj? What?” My second thought was, “why tf did you make two giant ass shrines for these discs??? Didn’t even center them, wtf dude.”

When Dream was monologuing and showing off the stolen goods and pets (and Skeppy) he stole from everyone, I knew he was on something. Him calling Tommy the key confirmed that Dream was overthinking everything and seeing things in places they didn’t belong. Did Tommy initially bring these bonds? Bring all the things Dream said he did? Yeah, I’ll admit it, he did. But it was the people in the server that kept that going, kept it alive. If not Tommy, someone else would have started that chain. The way Tommy look horrified and uttered with a horrific tone, “how do you not hurt?” when Dream mentioned how he cut off all his attachments was hnnnnnnnn

Tubbo actively trying to protect Tommy from going to prison while Tommy was actively trying to protect Tubbo from permanently dying was-

Man

Man, that broke my heart.

“You wanna be the hero of this server? Every hero has an origin story. Batman had his parents, Spider-Man had Uncle Ben. You have Tubbo.”

The look of complete horror/terror that came across Tommy’s face the instant those words were spoken. He genuinely looked scared. He kept trying to defend Tubbo, despite Dream repeating how defenseless Tommy was against him. Dream telling the boys to say their good byes hurt me in more ways that I can describe. Tommy was panicking, actively trying to come up with ways to get Tubbo out of there, no matter the cost or price that he had to pay. Tubbo telling him that it was okay, everything would be okay, he would be okay. The way Tommy was desperate to hold onto his best friend, his Tubbo, whilst saying, “You can’t be okay with this! Why are you okay with this?”

My heart nearly stopped for a second the moment Tubbo said “goodbye, Tommy”

My mind flashed back to Tubbo saying those exact words whilst exiling Tommy, his best friend, for the sake of everyone being safe. Now, here he was again, saying those exact words to the exact same person. The only difference? He wasn’t sacrificing his best friend for the sake of everyone and Dream. No, he was sacrificing himself for the sake of his best friend, his only true friend, Tommy. 

“Get away from them”

“Punz?”

“I’m sorry Dream, but you should have paid me more.”

Literal chills. I cannot. It’s the “On your left” of the DSMP. The way everyone came through the portal to line up against this tyrant that manipulated them all. The way I imagined everyone coming through to see this decked out dude with a god complex about to murder a bloody and bruised child, said child’s best friend (also bloody and bruised) was watching, begging to have his friend spared. Imagining how they saw the tear streaks down the boys’ messed up faces as they accepted their fates. As they saw their fear turn to hope as Tommy got Tubbo behind them for safety. How Tommy entrusted them to keep Tubbo safe. How they all came, decked out, to defend these two children. 

How Quackity came in nothing but his yeezys because he just fucking knew that Dream wouldn’t put up a fight. The way Dream was so confident that he had power over everyone because he rid himself of his bonds towards objects and friends, only for that to be his downfall. The way Sapnap, Dream’s old friend, his buddy, was the one to give Tommy the pickaxe. The way Puffy was there to protect the two boys she renounced his duckling title for (and the nation).

The way Tommy dug a hole, without any protection or weapons, and had Dream throw his stuff in. The way he didn’t blow any of Dreams shit up, like he had happen to himself, and, instead, used Dream’s things to protect Tubbo and everyone else. The way Tommy took away Dream’s first two lives, paralleling the times Dream took Tommy’s two lives. The way Tommy boxed him in, like Tubbo was at the festival, and the way Tubbo held a bow to Dream. The way Tommy screamed at Dream to tell everyone what he had done. How Dream was the one to blow up the community house. How Dream tormented the poor boy in exile. The way Tommy didn’t spare him because he liked him, or wanted to play mind games with him. No, Tommy spared him because he had a chance to get his brother back, his family. 

“Let’s make Wilbur proud. SUCK IT GREEN BOY!!!!”

“SUCK IT GREEN BOY!!!!”

The way the boys sincerely thanked everyone for showing up, fully knowing that they didn’t have to do shit. The way that Tommy said to go to Tubbo’s vc, obviously warming Tubbo’s heart. The way they made it to bench, and finally had a chance to breathe. How they could sit their, listen to their discs, and be kids again. No wars, no going against Dream, nothing. They could just be Tommy and Tubbo, like it’s always been since the beginning. 

Then Wilbur fishfucking Soot had to crash the moment like the older brother he was, lmaooooo. 

“You didn’t die”

“Ghostbur?”

“I’m not Ghostbur.”

I sucked in a breath, not knowing how the interaction was going to go. Was Wilbur still in the mindset he was whilst blowing up the nation he and his younger brother created? Was he in a mindset before that? Was he sane? 

I must admit, their bickering match, along with Tubbo’s dancing, made me realize how much I missed their dynamic. I realized how much I missed Wilbur being in the picture. (Tommy whispering to Tubbo how he liked Ghostbur was hilarious)

Wilbur complaining about being stuck with Schlatt in the afterlife was hilarious. Wilbur admitting that he was preparing, waiting, for Tommy, his younger brother, to join him in the afterlife had me gripping my plushies. Wilbur telling Tommy that he’s proud of him put a sledgehammer into my fragile dam. 

“I’ll see you soon.”

“Yeah, I’ll see you soon.”

THEY. ARE. BROTHERS!!!!

It was just so refreshing to see these two get the happy ending they deserved in this arc. The pain and suffering these two children went through at the expense of others, how they were forced to grow up quickly because of their situations, all of that was finally pushed towards the path of recovery. And although they’ve been through hell and back, it’s still them. Although the future will be hard for them, throwing more trials and difficult choices, they know that they’ll make it out, because that how it’s always been. And if their strengthen bond after today can tell them anything, it’s that it’ll always be like that.

It’s always been Tommy and Tubbo.

What I want/what I predict

FOR GEORGE TO BE AWAKE FOR FIVE FUCKING SECONDS

Everyone complimenting Niki on her new fit better fucking happen, I will manifest it

Dream will use his favor from Techno to break out of prison

Connor playing a bigger role in the SMP

Foolish revealing that they don’t need Dream alive (hopefully)

Ghostbur to say a proper goodbye before Wilbur is revived

GLATT

GLATTBUR

SBI reunion with every alive for more than five fucking minutes

Wilbur ignoring his dad Phil and zooming over to little brother Tommy so that he can hug him and tell him that he’s safe now and that he’s so proud of him

THERAPY ARC!!!! FOR THE LOVE OF EVERYONE LOVELY, PLEASE

JUST GET EVERYONE INSIDE THE THERAPY GROUP SECTION AND TALK ABOUT THEIR TRAUMA AND FEELINGS SO THEY CAN ALL CLEAR UP THEIR MISUNDERSTANDINGS!!!!!

The egg will start to negatively affect people, causing those not affected to fear for their home and friends

SBI + TUBBO AND RANBOO VS EGGPIRE????? POG?????

Tubbo nuking L’manhole to get rid of the spreading red

Techno/Phil to come to an understanding with Tommy; vice versa

Those unaffected teaming up to safe those affected

Someone (preferably Ranboo) unintentionally activating the End Portal lmao

The rest of the SBI + Tubbo saving Tommy from being murdered by Jack and Niki

Jack and Niki learning that killing the child is not the fucking answer to their problems (If it didn’t work for William Afton, it won't work for y’all. Stop trying to be the man behind the slaughter)

Techno and Tommy rebuilding their trust and friendship with each other

Tommy giving Techno the Axe of Peace

Sam being influenced by the egg and becomes corrupted

Ranboo being free??? Pog???? Pog

Puffy and Niki having a one-to-one conversation about their personal opinions and goals

Puffy visiting Dream whilst he sits in his cell

Skeppy and Bad to be okay again :(

Everyone infected to be okay again :(

Tommy bonding with Eret

Big Q continuing to hold Clingy Duo close to him

Schlatt coming back but instead of trying to run for president and mess with everyone, he’s just everyone’s drunk uncle that somehow gives wise advice to every situation

Wilbur coming back but he’s that angry older cousin that only allows the favorite family members(Tommy)/friends to stay in his room 

GIVE ME MEXICAN DREAM AND GIRL DREAM!!! ONLY HETERO RELATIONSHIP I SEE THAT IS BEYOND POGGERS

Lani and Drista to make a comeback at the same time

Tommy meeting more family members

The kids being able to be kids

Lani selling yeezy

Drista w/ bedrock

Drista laughing at Dream’s imprisonment

Everyone finding peace within each other’s chaos and living in harmony

[karlnapity]

Welcome Home, Theseus.

Chapter 3: You’re a Conflicted Person, Not a Bad Person. [Tubbo]

(tws: emeto, rather graphic alcohol withdrawal. very mild injury (bruising).

Tubbo does not betray Schlatt.

It’s not like he doesn’t plan on it, at least in the beginning. He’s hesitant, going into Schlatt’s presidency. Exiling his best friend and mentor isn’t a great opening, not for any of them.

Schlatt doesn’t do much to improve this image, not at first. He’s aggressive and mean, barking orders and shouting when things don’t go his way. Not long into his term his drinking ramps up, only serving to make matters worse.

All the same, it doesn’t take Tubbo long to start second-guessing himself. Quackity sees something in the man, saw enough to marry the guy, and Fundy was willing enough to throw away his relationship with his own father in his favor. So… Tubbo is willing to try too.

It’s hard. Schlatt denies any attempts he makes to get to know him. Maybe once or twice, he gets a celebratory pat on the back or even a kind remark if he’s lucky, but Schlatt holds him at arm’s length without fail. But Tubbo doesn’t give up. Not on people, and not on anything.

… Which is why he’s currently holding back the jewelry hanging from Schlatt’s horns while the man hacks up what seems like his entire guts into a trash can. He’s not quite sure how he got here, but it’s not exactly what he thought he’d be doing with his night.

He’d been hoping to go and visit Wilbur and Tommy tonight, but what with Wilbur’s recent turns towards insanity he’s really not sure it would be any better than this.

Schlatt groans and Tubbo helps him lay down on the office sofa. He sits down on the carpet in front.

“On your side, I don’t want you choking,” he says gently. He’s only seen Schlatt this drunk a few times before, and it never becomes any less disconcerting.

He’s not sure why he starts talking. Maybe it’s to help distract himself, maybe it’s because he wants Schlatt to know.

“When you first showed up- not when you came to visit, but when you came to campaign- you were so threatening. Wilbur was so angry you decided to show up. I’m not sure I’ve ever seen him that mad before, honestly.” While he talks, he gently pulls the jewelry from Schlatt’s horns. He chuckles a bit. “You were terrifying. You seemed like a genuine threat, when you exiled Wilbur. What happened to that?”

Schlatt coughs, wet and violent, but doesn’t answer. His eyes are closed, and Tubbo’s not quite sure if he’s even conscious.

Tubbo sighs. “I mean, it’s not really like I want to see that. But you had power, and authority, and it was cool as shit.” He draws his knees to his chin. “Now you’ve just left it to the three of us, and we’re not suited to run a nation at all.”

Schlatt sighs, and when Tubbo looks at him his eyes have slid open, just barely. His ram’s pupils are unfocused. Tubbo keeps talking.

“I guess… all three of us wanted to be involved in this. Quackity wanted power, Fundy wanted control, I wanted to be important… but now that we’re here, it’s not really that great.” He sighs, running his hands over his face. “Maybe it was like that for you, too. Is that it?”

Schlatt puts a hand on his shoulder, and Tubbo looks at him, smiles. “Thanks.”

Schlatt promptly passes out.

>

It’s not an epiphany or anything. Schlatt is still an asshole when he’s not passed out at his desk, Quackity still shouts 24/7, and Tubbo still tries his best to get out from under everyone’s feet and stay out of the way. Just because he understands the man a bit better doesn’t make him any less of a dick.

After the shouting at the White House threatens to make him pull his hair out, he decides instead to hide away at Pogtopia for the night.

 There’s a horse outside that he’s never seen before. He’s not even sure Tommy knows how to ride a horse. Whatever.

It’s only once he gets inside that he realizes. Sitting around a little fire is Tommy, Wilbur, and Technoblade. He grins.

“Techno?” He calls down to the group, and they all startle. Wilbur stands from where he was seated, looking incensed.

“Tubbo,” Techno greets as he makes his way down, giving him a small smile. Tubbo laughs.

“I didn’t even know you’d come to the server!” He exclaims. “Should’ve sent me a whisper.”

“Tubbo? Why’d you come?” Wilbur asks, eyes narrowing. The mood tangibly darkens. “Do you have anything?”

Tubbo holds up his hands placatingly. “No, I just wanted to visit, is that ok?”

Wilbur visibly bristles, hands making their way out of his pockets and into his hair. After a second, he leans forward and grabs Tubbo’s wrist, hard. “No, that’s not fucking ok! You put us at risk!”

He looks fucking crazy. Tubbo takes a step back, wrenching his wrist free. Thankfully, Tommy steps in.

“Woah, dude, it’s fine, it’s not like he comes very often. He knows to be careful, it’s fine. Don’t worry.” He almost seems to be saying it more to himself than Wilbur, who doesn’t look at all convinced.

“Don’t do it again,” Wilbur mutters, turning his back on the group and making his way deeper into the ravine.

Tommy sighs, visibly relaxing as the figure disappears. He shoots Tubbo an awkward smile. “Sorry. He’s been like that a bit, recently. It’ll be fine.”

Tubbo rubs his wrist with a placating smile. That’s going to bruise.

Techno, who’s been standing off the side, huffs and throws Tubbo a healing potion. He fumbles it in his hands a bit before catching it. He looks between it and Techno for a few seconds before saying, “I don’t really need this.”

The piglin shrugs. “Whatever, just take it.”

Tommy looks a bit concerned before shaking his head as if to clear it. He beckons to Tubbo. “Come on, I wanna show you Techno’s potato farm.”

 Tubbo sips as they walk. He doesn’t want to drink too much, only enough to heal the bruise. He’s not sure whether healing potions would work for alcohol poisoning, but he’s willing to give it up for a good cause.

“How’s the tyrant been?” Tommy asks, kicking at rocks while he walks. Tubbo chuckles.

“That’s a bit harsh, don’t you think?” When Tommy shoots him a look, he rushes to defend himself. “I mean… it’s not too bad, right now. We’re managing.”

Tommy stops in his tracks. “When did it become ‘we?’”

“No, no,” he exclaims, motioning with his hands and threatening to spill the potion. “I just mean like. Me, Fundy, and Big Q, that’s it.”

Tommy’s eyes stay narrowed for a few more seconds before he makes an angry exclamation, hands finding their ways to his head. He groans, turning away from Tubbo. Tubbo frowns, a bit concerned. “Tommy?”

“I’m sorry, Tubbo,” he murmurs, whipping back around and pulling him into a hug. They stay like that for a few moments before Tommy pulls away. He motions for them to keep walking.

“Listen, Wilbur’s been fucking crazy lately. He keeps telling me I can’t trust anyone, and, like.” He shakes his head with a sigh. “I guess it kinda got to me for a minute. How are you doing? What’s it like in Manberg?”

Something pushes Tubbo to tell the truth. “It’s not too bad. I mean, Quackity and Fundy and I are basically running the country, but Schlatt’s been doing better lately.”

“What d’you mean?” Tommy asks, pulling out a loaf of bread and ripping it in half. He extends a half to Tubbo, who takes it eagerly.

“He’s drunk, like, most of the time,” Tubbo confesses quietly. “But he’s really been making an effort lately.”

“Huh,” Tommy says. He stares out at the sunset.

They’re quiet for a long, long moment, silently passing loaves of bread and apples between them.

“... Do you reckon Schlatt’s doing better than Wilbur?” He finally asks, almost whispering like he’s worried Wilbur will pop out from the shadows. He leans against a wall and wrings his hands in a nervous action.

Tubbo feels his heart stop. He stammers for a minute before he decides to be as honest as he can.

“Yes.”

>

“Promise me something,” Schlatt says quietly, one night. Tubbo jumps. He’d been puttering around the office while Schlatt laid on the sofa, and he hadn’t even known Schlatt was awake. When he turns around, Schlatt has pulled himself into a sitting position, his eyes strangely clear.

“What is it?” Tubbo asks nervously. Sure, it’s been months since he’s been frightened of Schlatt in any capacity, but it’s still worrying when he looks like this.

“Promise me you won’t drink. Not ever.”

Tubbo’s heart drops to his stomach. He nods, feeling strangely like he wants to cry. “I promise. Not ever.”

Schlatt nods back, chewing his lip. His ear flicks and he seems to analyze Tubbo’s expression for a few more seconds before he lays back down. Tubbo watches him for a few more minutes, listening to Schlatt’s breath even out. Every once in a while he lets out a wheeze and Tubbo stiffens again.

Once Tubbo is certain he’s asleep, he lets himself cry.

>

“Can we talk about the exile?”

It’s a bit of a spur of the moment decision. He and Schlatt have just finished with the paperwork and it’s reached the part of the night where Schlatt’s hands are shaking so much he’s having a hard time doing much of anything, where his eyelids have started drooping. Maybe it’s wrong of Tubbo to ask him when he’s already exhausted, but it can’t wait.

“What d’you mean?” Schlatt asks, barely tilting his head towards him. He’s staring at a spot on the desk, some sort of stain from a spilled drink.

“Um.” He fidgets with his hands a bit. “I want to let Tommy back in the country.”

That leads to a raising of the eyebrows. “Oh?”

“Not Wilbur, I won’t fight you on that one. Just Tommy. I know you don’t like him, but…” he chews his words. “I don’t think he’s safe with Wilbur.”

Schlatt seems to mull it over, and Tubbo’s not sure whether he’s thinking or out of it for a few seconds.

“Does this have something to do with your trips out of the country?”

Tubbo freezes for a long second, but after a few tense moments he regains his composure. “Um. What do you mean, sir?”

“I know you’ve been visiting them.” He catches Tubbo’s eye, strangely lucid for a man who was slurring so much a few minutes ago. He waves a shaking hand. “Well?”

Squeezing his fists, he decides to be honest. No point in pretending. “Yes. I’ve been visiting them. In the beginning, it was to betray you, I’ll admit.

But I’m on your side now. I am. Wilbur’s… He’s not doing well. And Tommy’s caught in the middle. I want to bring him here. Without Wilbur.”

Schlatt looks at him for a long moment. For once, he looks like a president.

“I’ll think about it.”

>

In the end, it isn’t much of a fight. Schlatt agrees, Tubbo talks to Tommy, Tommy talks to Techno, and they leave, Wilbur screaming at their heels.

Tommy’s shaking, but Schlatt and Quackity are waiting at the remains of the wall. Tubbo catches Schlatt’s eye and Schlatt fixes him with a soft expression he’s never seen before.

Tubbo grins. The president is proud.

>

Nothing’s perfect. Alcoholism isn’t solved overnight, and neither is a country built on nothing but pride. But sometimes, when Tommy and Tubbo are running through the White House after stealing some sort of way-too-expensive chocolate from a president, he thinks it’s ok.

[mc-slowwalker]

MULLET MULLET MULLET YES

philza being 100000 years old is something I can get behind tbh. my least favourite age hc, which I think I actually hate with a burning passion, is the tommy and tubbo were 9 during the first l’manberg wartime actually ignites a visceral rage in me

yeah!! I managed to make it to pink’s bedwars stream the other day and it was great. yeah lol I was lowkey upset too when foolish was added cause I had no idea who he was but he’s super fun so that’s cool! I like high energy stream more too cause I zone out super easily. unless it’s dream, he can stream anything and I’ll try my hardest to pay attention the whole time

ooooh vet that’s cool. oh my god c!dream going into the dentist after months in prison😭😭😭 I’m imagining c!techno as a beefy pig sitting in the kind of small couch/seats we have in the waiting room. Tommy would 100% bite and then get really mad about getting a toy that we give to little kids after their treatment lol

omg the pet wars 😔😔😔 so sad. everyone in the dsmp is emotionally attached to their animals than anything else and what can I say, I’m the same

oh yeah I also tend to take c!dream criticism to heart more idk why. I’m definitely way more defensive of c!dream apologists than any other they get so much unnecessary shit. though from your other anons it looks like c!sam apologists are getting more shit too which sucks but solidarity ig. oh man I get you I have to tell myself to like take a step back and not take everything so personally. another thing on twitter is that people who vehemently hate c!dream will sometimes just refuse to use /dsmp /roleplay tags like it’s not that hard, tweets without that have already been misinterpreted to hate on cc!dream which just pisses me off like you can have your shit opinion just tag it properly. and like when people tell them to include it they’ll be like “ohh the dream apologists harassed me.” and yeah people genuinely go around calling c!dream apologists abuse apologists and it’s terrible. like I don’t care if you have your bad takes and aren’t willing to discuss them, just tag it properly and don’t shit on c!dream apologists it’s not that hard. though it’s funny the other day, the first time I replied to some shut take on twitter, in a lighthearted manner too, I got instantly blocked and there’s this on person on twt, they’re also on tumblr, that blocks anyone that even slightly disagrees with them. oh well ig

also did you see about that lore that foolish did? it was certainly something

sorry for the late and shorter reply I got halfway through writing this then went to do something then just fell asleep and I just got a notification that ponk is live! and I’m awake so Imma go watch them

Jack Mulletfold I’m on my jack manifold mullet truther arc

The 9 year old thing was bad and I also hated the c!dream was 13 during the l’manburg war thing too like no this is all so much funnier if they are the ages that they are now. And like father like son fundy tried to set a timeline up too (his it’s been a year comment) like no dude stop time doesn’t exist unless it’s real world

With watching streams I’m the exact same way but I usually tune into quackity and tommy’s chill streams as well. I think it’s because I know them enough to care about what they’re saying so the lack of mental stimulation is made up for by my want to care

Wait fuck with the dentist thing would c!techno actually have to go to a vet instead because of anatomy stuff or-

C!Dream is probably missing a few teeth and after not brushing so long ugh

I would joke that c!sapnap’s done nothing wrong but I haven’t forgiven him for henry

I simply don’t user twitter I tried to post a shit post but I don’t understand the tagging system so it flopped. Stopped using it there and then. say what you want about me but you guys gotta know that I’m a petty bitch first and foremost. With the “harassment” stuff I’ve had my fair share of sending anons asking people to tag stuff right and half the time they just say why and then don’t do it. You wanna know why? Please thats why. I have a real issue with the abuse apologist stuff because like bro that’s a serious accusation and it’s overall just seems super inappropriate. It usually doesn’t get to me but if I’m in the wrong mood it can really fuck me up. When cc!wilbur said that every character was morally gray and that c!dream apologists were right & wrong about somethings I was kinda like “oh thank god a streamer I like doesn’t hate me for liking c!dream” and was hella embarrassed that I even let it get me that far skdhfk. Oh yeah about people blocking you there are so many people who have me blocked on here and while I totally encourage using your block button liberally and often I still notice and its like aw man… creeper…… so we back in the mines…….

You’re gonna have to be a little more specific I feel lije foolish has done a lot of lore, though I think I’ve missed most of it. Are you talking about truing to break into the prison? Hilarious that every character despite their opinion on c!dream has at one point attempted to break into the prison. If only c!dream knew that the only common enemy the server needed was a building they were supposed to stay out of

dont say sorry that’s illegal (/j) also the thing I like about anon is that you can come back and respond when ever is best for you? Makes me feel like an old western bar tender who is just vibing. That’s the dream social interaction tbh