#dude is getting wrestled in a potential fight to the death that he started

[normanbased]

okay we all know I'm obsessed with this scene but I've just seen Sean described as being "latently homosexual" - which to ME implies that this scene is him quite literally realising he's queer and turned on by whatever the fuck is happening to him - and that just makes it so much more 💥💥💥

This is as close as I’m gonna get to seeing Tony get topped isnt it 🤧🤧

[omegatheunknown]

AEW Revolution 2022

In which no titles change hands, yet the seeds of revolution continue to bloom. - To that point, nothing seems to have been hot potato'd for the sake of it being a "PPV" card, and sometimes that really is for the best, I certainly anticipated it might be time for Britt to drop her belt, but any other changes would've been... worth a rewrite, maybe. - No particular production notes, only to say it's quite funny when the show starts to run long into the evening that JR gets a little cranky, Tony gets a little loopy, and Excalibur has to keep them steady, and he's such a pro. - Don Callis, man. Legendary heater. He boomed me. - The arrival of Shane Strickland was not Schiavone's best work, and the scene was awkward by the conspicuous absence of Chaka Khan but then... Swerve spoke and you just know, this is a guy who's gonna be enormous. It felt like a huge tragedy that he went to NY at all (you release this man?!,) and now he's gonna get all this space in AEW and NJPW, and wherever. *Pre-Card Kris Statlander v Leyla Hirsch (**1/2) - Quite appreciative of the weird heat being brought to this match, a little atypical of the women's division and something they could stand to do more of, which is why it's a bit of a bummer there wasn't a little more to like in this matchup. Both are very talented and Stat got some real nice feats of strength tossing Leyla around, but going the other way I don't know there was enough coming out of Leyla to justify the pint-sized dynamo going over. Stat nearly did herself an injury on that step-up hurricanrana to the outside, which stuck out more than most of the match. - Heel!Stat gives Kris a little more to chew on as a character and I think that's a worthwhile development, if she can improve on the mic she's unquestionably a future champ. HOOK v QT Marshall (HOOK outta five) - Do you think HOOK knows that I love him? Is that what that little smirk is? - QT Marshall almost gets five minutes outta HOOK, which is hilarious in abstract but hey, let's see the kid bump a little, rally a little, and then just... take the trainer man apart. - Papa Taz on commentary remains a distinct delight.

House of Black v Death Triangle (***) - Gave a lot of the rub to the debuting Redbeard, who put in a pretty good performance by his standards, he's been working a pretty light indie schedule and he isn't a world beater but as a giant in AEW's ecosystem of many regular sized dudes, he might have a bit of upside? He's no Buddy Matthews, who yes, may as well be Kenny Omega's stunt double, in every way a compliment. - The best of the pre-show multiman type matches give everybody a little shine and flash potential -- yes, Buddy and Brody King and Redbeard are new toys, but also I want so much more outta Penta and PAC and I hope this augurs well for them. - The foundations of the House of Black are quite important to establish here, neither Brody or Buddy should have trouble with this but with Black having had a pretty down the middle series of results thus far, the credibility of the stable rests in their ability to take people out, or (more radically) alter their alignment and trajectories, which is a fascinating prospect. Still waiting on Julia Black!Hart, for example. Suppose the next step is to demolish the tag champs. Or be the inaugural trios champs? *Main-Card Eddie KIngston v Chris Jericho (****) -Speaking of trios, Eddie's well-deserved rub coming off defeating the legendary Jericho could include running it back as a trio with the best version of LAX. - Great match. Jericho met Kingston on his level, which is something old man Jericho is pretty consistent on. It means a lot to beat the inaugural AEW champion, so Eddie should also benefit from beating Jericho fighting his way, looking as good as possible doing so. - I don't think anybody would hate seeing less of Jericho for various reasons not related to his wrestling, and maybe it is time for him to continue to head into the background, but after decades of reinventions I am a little curious about the next pivot. Jurassic Express (C) v the Young Bucks v reDRagon for the AEW Tag Team Championship (****) - KOR, in my mind, is one of the true heirs to the Kurt Angle lineage of being able to seamlessly transition between clown and killer, the body control required to be comedian and technician is so similar and yet not everyone can do it. To paraphrase Henri Bergson, O'Reilly's tapped into this ability to make his body seem mechanical, his best comedy spots are of course his unwitting self-inflicted chair shots, his unwitting falling all the way out of the ring, and in this match, the Bucks using him as an unwitting pile driving machine they then kick in the face. - The champs aren't even close to the best team in this ring but Jungle Boy continues to improve, all the reps he gets are hardly for naught, he had some excellent sequences in this match. Christian Cage v Wardlow v Powerhouse Hobbs v Ricky Starks v Keith Lee v Orange Cassidy in the Face of the Revolution Ladder Match (***1/2) - Wardlow has to be the least popular competitor here (though he did get a few big pops, he's not nobody,) so his victory is probably the most interesting outcome, or at least that's my working theory. I'd have given it to Pretty Ricky or Keith Lee or Hobbs, but given Wardlow's other major contribution this evening, I'm intrigued by face Mr Mayhem. - But he ain't Ricky Stahks. I don't know what to make of the rumours that Stroke Daddy is keeping his schedule light to manage a lingering back injury (similar to the tragedy of Dalton Castle,) but what else could possibly be holding him back? - Can't say enough about Christian Cage's understated value add to anything he touches. Such a classically Christian play, too, to not be the veteran who's getting in their spots and looking like a demigod -- he's here to work, and keep things flowing, and everyone benefits from working with him. Jade Cargill(C) v Tay Conti for the TBS Championship (**1/2) - Kingfish! Jade as Jade! 'Who gives a damn about that Karate shit?!' - Tay is such an interesting wrestler, she's got the look and the expressions and judo is not so overdone that her style is quite refreshing. Her footwork is still a work in

progress, striking and holds are getting there. - But you gotta go with Jade. Gotta go with Jade. She's figuring it out rapidly, the upside is unlimited given where she is already and how much even modest improvements in ring and on mic would take her over the top. Adding a frog splash? Sure! MJF v CM Punk in a Dog Collar Match (****1/2) - Um. Yep! Crowd could've been clued in more on Miseria Cantare but way to set the mood. This was the match we were promised, and in terms of gimmick matches with the competitors literally tethered together, the dog collar seems like the clear winner, or at least this seems conclusively true when Punk is involved. - Bloody and brutal and honestly... at times a bit of a slog, could see this not being to everyone's tastes, but in terms of this story and these competitors, what else could've worked? A cage? No, this is better. The chains that bind, the blood to blind. Best match of Punk's return thus far. No notes in particular. MJF really might be worth all the money in the world.

Dr Britt Baker DMD (C) v Thunder Rosa for the AEW Women's Championship (**1/2) - Oh, why wasn't this better? Simplistic answer would be to trust the spurious reports that Rosa was injured this last week and they pushed through anyway for seventeen minutes. Mark answer would be that it felt like time for Rosa to go over and Britt to have her goons desert her (especially Jamie, who is ready for anything better,) but that wasn't the call being made. That these two women have had vastly better matches against each other is even more annoying, in the abstract. - Doesn't help that it was in this cooler spot. Actually, the worst part was the classic/entirely overdone spot of the face challenger getting the audience to count a pin to like, five while Paul Turner is inexplicably concerned with Rebel. Also the belt shot didn't take. Basically... undone by booking choices. Overbooked? underbooked? badly booked. Bryan Danielson v Jon Moxley (****1/2) - Bryan 'Oops, all bangers!' Danielson continues his streak of not being in AEW to do anything but have fantastic wars. It's not a five star match because it wasn't really... for anything? I mean, it brought Regal out to slap the piss out of both his boys and now they're some kind of mega powers, but in terms of outcomes, it didn't super matter who went over other than I guess technically Mox needed to win, so he did, and... suspense minimal as a result, but hey. It was a really really good match. You can scoff and say oh, yeah, but Dean Ambrose and Daniel Bryan fought before-- context is key. In this arena for these fans, this is Hart v Austin levels of important. - Let's assume Regal is sticking around and making the boys play nice. And put together a stable of killers with some young bloods. The AHFO (Andrade, Isiah Kassidy, Matt Hardy) v Sting, Darby Allin & Sammy Guevara in a Tornado Trios Match (***1/2) - I don't readily recall how Sammy joined up with Sting & Darbs, I'm sure it's fine, head canon is it has something to do with Andrade attempting to purchase services. Feel like the AHFO remains in a holding pattern until Jeffrey shows up, and ultimately Andrade's business association with Matt is another one of the strange barriers that exist mostly so Andrade isn't just a dominant main eventer. It's a slow burn with him whenever he shows up somewhere new, I suppose. Kind of appreciate that, much as it's difficult to shout people down that he's being misused or something... you gotta remember when he was wearing suspenders and a pimp hat in NXT. It's a whole journey thing. - So this match is for Andrade, for Sting to do something a man of his age needn't do, and basically to cool for the main event. In that respect it was a lot of fun but not my favourite match of the night by any stretch. Hangman Adam Page (C) v Adam Cole for the AEW World Championship (****) - Let's go Adam, Adam sucks. Adam battle 2k22. Adam Cole is not at this point in his AEW career world championship material, and Page has a long road left to travel, and so while theoretically possible to see Page get snookered, it would've been a wiiiiiild result. - Page really was the 'Other Adam' just a short few years ago when Cole left ROH. Now he's our anxious millennial cowboy champion, coming into his own as a tremendously well rounded performer and owning Glenn Jacobs on twitter. There's hope for us all. - I know I just said Cole isn't there yet, or there's something under-baked about his presentation as a catchphrase guy with a signature pose and an overly telegraphed finisher, but he's still a hell of a worker and this was a very good tilt.

[intheticklecloset]

Wild Card (My Hero Academia)

Primary Universe

Summary: Bakugou is determined to make sure his 3am encounter with Shinsou is kept on the down low, but when he finds out Denki has already told some of their friends about it, he can't hold back his frustration.

A/N: I wanted to write a fic in which Bakugou tickled Denki, and it lined up perfectly with the events from "A Trick of the Light," so this is the result! Enjoy!

Word Count: 1,948

~~~

“Yo, Baku-bro,” Kaminari greeted enthusiastically as he and Shinsou entered the 1-A dorms together. “You up for some Mario Kart?”

Bakugou scoffed. “You up to losing?” Then he turned, saw the purple-haired boy with his friend, and froze. It had been a week since their 3am meeting in the kitchen, and neither of them had spoken since. He frowned. “What are you doing here, mind-reader?”

Shinsou’s eyes hardened but his face remained stoic. “I believe I’ve already informed you that I’m not a mind reader, and that I have friends here in these dorms.” He waved a hand at Kaminari. “Case in point.”

“I’ll go let Midoriya know we’re here,” Denki said, taking off down the hall after removing his shoes. “Be right back.”

Then Bakugou and Shinsou were alone together for the first time since the incident.

Bakugou glared. “How many people have you told?”

“Told what, exactly?” Shinsou asked coolly, staying right where he was. “That you mistook me for Midoriya? I told him and Kaminari about our encounter last weekend.”

“No one else?”

“I have no reason to tell anyone else about it.”

Bakugou grit his teeth, then let out a hissing sigh. “Look. I know we’re not friends, and that’s fine by me. I couldn’t care less. But I don’t want you going around telling a bunch of extras that I’m…” he trailed off, cleared his throat. “So what do I have to do to convince you to keep it quiet?”

Shinsou quirked a brow. “That you’re what?”

“You know what.”

“I already told you I’ve told Kaminari and Midoriya about what happened, but beyond them, I have no reason or desire to tell anyone else. I found it amusing, but little more. It clearly bothers you, though.”

“I’ve got a reputation.”

“For being a jerk all the time? I’m well aware of your reputation.”

Bakugou shot to his feet, striding toward the taller student with purpose. He stopped a few feet away. “I don’t want the whole school knowing I’m…I’m…that I’m ticklish, okay?” He finally spat, clenching his fists. “So what do I have to do?”

Shinsou blinked. “That’s what you’re worried about? That I’ll tell everyone you have a very common weakness?” He smirked. “Perhaps you’re not as much of a bad boy as they say you are.”

“Shut up, all right? Look, I just don’t need anyone else to know. It makes me sick enough as it is that you know. So what do I have to do? Name your price, mind-reader.”

“Stop calling me mind-reader, for one.” Shinsou’s voice grew hard.

“Fine. What else?”

The purple-haired boy considered him for a moment. “How about this – I’ll promise not to tell anyone your little secret if you promise to do me a favor in return whenever I ask for one. Whenever I want you to do something, you do it, no questions asked. Sound fair?”

Bakugou hated to admit that he was relieved. He nodded. “Fine.” He held out his hand, and Shinsou took it.

That’s the exact moment Denki returned with Deku in tow. The blonde’s eyes lit up. “Hey! Are you two friends now?”

“Shut up, dunce,” Bakugou spat, ripping his hand away. “We’re not friends.”

“Definitely not friends,” Shinsou agreed. The two of them shared a hard stare.

Deku could feel the tension between them and did his best to cut through it by asking brightly, “So, who wants to play Mario Kart?”

*

That was one problem taken care of. Keeping Shinsou quiet had been Bakugou’s biggest concern, since he wasn’t and had no desire to be on friendly terms with the extra from 1-C. That just left Deku and Kaminari. He knew Deku wouldn’t go around telling everyone about it; despite their rivalry, he could trust him to keep his secret. Kaminari, however, was a wild card he didn’t want to risk.

So that night after Shinsou had gone home, Bakugou dragged the electric hero outside into the dusk and said, “Listen up, dunce. I know he told you about what happened last week, but you are not to tell anyone else about it. Got it?”

For a moment Denki looked confused, but then he looked worried. “Wait…you mean mistaking Shinsou for Midoriya? But I’ve already—” He slapped a hand over his mouth.

Bakugou’s eyes widened. “You what?”

“No, no, it’s not what you think! I haven’t told everybody – just a couple of our friends!”

“Which ones?”

“J-Just from our group! You know – Kiri, Sero, and Mina. And…and Ojiro. But that’s it, I swear!”

Bakugou gripped his shirt collar. “I’m going to kill you.”

Denki panicked. “B-But they’re our friends! You know they won’t tell anyone!”

“No, I don’t know that.”

“Come on, man. Can’t you trust us with this by now?” Kaminari sounded sincere, and it gave Bakugou pause. “I mean…aside from that one time we went too far, we’ve never betrayed you, have we? We’ve always kept it just between us. No one else. They won’t tell, and I only told them in the first place because they already know.” The sparky blonde offered a nervous smile and patted Bakugou’s arm. “It’s all right, dude. We’ve got your back.”

Bakugou gripped him even tighter and snarled, “What about Ojiro?”

“O-Oh, that? W-Well, um, I only told him because he’s friends with Shinsou. He won’t tell either, I promise!”

“You can’t make promises on someone else’s behalf, idiot.” He shoved the electric hero away and turned on his heel. “Now I have go to shut someone else up.”

“Wait, no!” Denki cried, bolting to stand in front of him. “D-Don’t hurt him, Bakugou. He doesn’t know you like the rest of us. He might take it too personally – l-let me talk to him instead.”

“You better make sure he doesn’t tell anyone else I’m ticklish, dunce face, or I will actually kill you.”

Kami frowned, confused. “That you’re…? Oh, no, Ojiro doesn’t know Shinsou tickled you back. I just told him that you got confused and tickled Shinsou thinking it was Midoriya. That’s all.”

Bakugou grabbed him by the shirt collar again and yelled, “You made me freak out over nothing?!”

At this point, Denki just had to laugh. He couldn’t tell if it was because he was nervous or he thought the whole situation was being blown out of proportion, but either way it was the wrong reaction, because he suddenly found himself shoved to the ground so hard he nearly had the wind knocked out of him. “Gah! Hey, take it easy, man!”

“You’re laughing at me now?” Bakugou growled, snatching up both of his wrists and pinning them tightly. “I’ll give you something to laugh about, dunce face.”

Denki shrieked. “NO!! No, wahahahahahahahahait! Plehehehehehease!”

“If you think it’s so funny, then go ahead and laugh.” Bakugou squeezed up and down his side, expertly keeping up when his fellow blonde tried to twist away. “Laugh it up, Denki – go on, get it all out of your system.”

“Stahahahahahahahahap!” Denki pleaded, giggling crazily and squirming on the ground. “Plehehehehease, I’m sohohohohohohorry, I didn’t mehehehehean to lahahahahahaugh!”

“Sure.”

“Plehehehehehease, I cahahahahan’t – dohohohohohon’t tihihihihickle me, plehehehease! I’ll tahahahahahalk to him! I’ll tehehehehehell him not to tehehehehell anyone else!”

“Oh, I know you will. But I’ve got some serious frustration to take out first, and since you so willingly walked right into this, I’m going to take my time.” Denki squealed when Bakugou forced him to roll onto his back and then straddled him, grabbing onto his ribs and kneading deeply. “Tickle, tickle, moron.”

“Plehehehehehehehehease! Ahahahahahahahahaha!” The electric blonde giggled so hard he almost couldn’t breathe, gasping for air between bouts desperately, pushing at his attacker’s hands uselessly. “Nohohohohohohohoho! Plehehehehease, it tihihihihihihickles so much!”

“Jeez, sparky, you’re more ticklish than Deku is.”

“I knohohohohohohohow! Stahahahahahahahap! Plehehehehehease, Bahahahakugou!”

“Hmm.” Bakugou ignored his pleading, scribbling up and down his torso from his underarms to his hips, searching for a hot spot of some kind. While he got crazed giggling and breathy laughter, nothing really stood out to him as being a potential death spot. He squeezed the blonde’s thighs, earning a sharp squeal, then reached behind him to squeeze his knees.

“NO!! NOHOHOHOHOHOHO!!” Denki’s begging came out in full-force, as did his fighting spirit. He shoved at Bakugou desperately, managing to dislodge him slightly. “No, not there! Not there! Please!”

Bakugou paused, staring at him. Denki stared back desperately. For a moment neither of them moved. Then the two of them started a wrestling match that lasted a couple of minutes before Bakugou finally managed to shove his electric friend face-first into the grass, quickly moving to straddle his calves and scratch at the exposed undersides of his knees.

Denki exploded. “AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! NOHOHOHOHOHOHOHO!!” He pounded the ground, ripping up blades of grass in his fruitless attempts to get away. “NONONONO NOT THEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHERE!!”

“Dang, you are more ticklish than Deku!” Bakugou laughed wickedly, scribbling over his knee pits and along the sides of his knees relentlessly. “Tickle, tickle, tickle!”

“SHUT UP, BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAKUGOU!! OH MY GOHOHOHOHOHOHOD STAHAHAHAHAHAHAP ALREADYEHEHEHEHEHEHE!!”

“What’s the matter? Can’t take it?” That’s when Bakugou noticed the sparks in the air around them. “Whoa.”

Kaminari was wheezing, he was laughing so hard. He grasped desperately for some kind of purchase. “I’M GOHOHOHOHOHOHONNA – I’M GONNA BLOHOHOHOHOHOHOW A FUHUHUHUSE!! STAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAP!!”

Bakugou smirked. He had to see this. “You think I care about that? Think again, dunce.” He switched from scribbling to kneading, just to see what would happen. “Go on. Electrify me if you want to get away. Do it. I dare you.”

Denki shrieked in distress, laughing so hard he was losing control of his quirk, but Bakugou wasn’t letting up, wasn’t letting him breathe, wasn’t letting him hold back—

“AAAAGH!!” Bakugou yelled as an incredibly strong shock of pain shot up his arms, forcing him to freeze up and fall over, letting Denki go whether he wanted to or not. He curled up as the pain receded, groaning. Wow. He wasn’t kidding about that blowing a fuse thing. That hurt!

The atomic blonde pushed himself up to his hands and knees, looking at where Denki still lay on the grass, and instantly felt a pang of guilt for having pushed him so far. Idiot, he chastised himself, crawling over to his friend. You got so upset when they pushed your boundaries and now you go and do the same thing?

“Hey, Denki,” he said, gently nudging his friend’s shoulder. “You all right?”

Giggling breathlessly into the grass, the only response he got was a muffled, “Whey.”

Oh, no. Bakugou rolled him over onto his back, seeing the dazed look and loopy smile on Kami’s face and groaning again. “Oh, great. Now you’re even dumber than usual.” He poked Denki’s belly, surprised when his fellow blonde burst into a long giggle fit from just the one touch. “Dude, did you get even more ticklish after that?” He poked him again, getting the same reaction.

“Whehehehehehehey,” Denki giggled, batting at his hand half-heartedly, rolling onto his side.

Bakugou stared, smirked, and grabbed his ribs, enjoying the squealing giggles he got for his efforts. “You’re ridiculous. Come on.” He pulled his friend into a sitting position, then helped him get to his feet, walking him back toward the dorms. “Let’s get you to bed, dunce face.”

*

When Kaminari woke the next morning, dazed and confused, he sat up in bed and was startled when something fell from his forehead to his pillow. He picked up the sticky note and read his angry friend’s scrawling handwriting: Tell Ojiro to shut his trap, or I’ll tickle you stupid again.

Denki grinned, shook his head, then got up to do exactly that.

[the--sad--hatter]

Name Calling (30)

FANDOM - MARVEL MCU

PAIRING - BUCKY X READER (female reader, no physical descriptions)

WARNINGS - ALL OF THEM, SMUT, VIOLENCE ANGST

DESCRIPTION -  In which the ongoing and bloody war of words between you and Bucky turns in your favor when a disgruntled one night stand of his lets slip a secret when you run into her in the elevator… Now you have all the ammunition you need to destroy your enemy but you don’t plan on killing him quickly. Oh no, Bucky Barnes was going to suffer and you were going to enjoy every second. You just didn’t count on how much you would enjoy it.

Current Word Count -  84,943

MASTERLIST

Special shout out to @nerdandproud-86 and @talesofakindredspirit for their help with this one! 

Chapter Thirty - The Beast Within

You had been so foolish, coming here. You thought you had made Wanda bury your memories of the massacre and your subsequent ‘death’ after it but it was so much worse than that. This wasn’t a memory, this was your subconscious.

This was the prison where Vernichtung was held and it was breaking out.

The last time you had been here you had been dying and had been forced to watch as it shattered the mirrors inside your mind it was trapped behind. You had clawed back control and in a desperate attempt to hide from it, had wiped all memory of this place away.

“Have you come to release me?” It asked with a curious tilt of it’s head.

“No, you don’t need me to fight any battles for you today…” It coldly calculated.

“You’re trying to release yourself, aren’t you?” You accused fearfully and it grinned ferally.

“Not just trying, I’m succeeding. Every day I claw a little bit further out and when I’m free you will be the one behind the looking glass.”

Your blood ran cold and you wondered where your companions were.

“Professor?” You called out desperately.

“He’s coming, he’s fighting his way in, past all your shields. He can feel your fear, he won’t be able to save you though.” It warned.

It was disconcerting, seeing your own face so twisted with rage and hatred. It was slowly creeping towards you, circling you like a predator and even the way it moved was unlike you. You walked like a human, this thing walked like a prowling jungle cat in a human body.

“I don’t need saving. I’ve fought you all my life, you stay caged until I let you out. This is MY subconscious, my domain. I’m not the one who needs to be afraid.” You warned lowly.

It growled at you, it’s face contorting with fury.

“Then let us see who is stronger, if you are not afraid.” It said and leapt for you.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

In the room where Jean, Scot and Storm were waiting with the portion of Avengers, Tony was pacing furiously.

“Deadpool? She’s dating Deadpool? This is all your fault.” Tony snapped at Steve.

“How is this my fault?” Steve was confused.

“You never took her on a second date!” Tony exclaimed.

“Oh now you’re ok with her dating Steve. I’ll bet you’d rather she was seeing anyone else huh? Pretty much anyone is an improvement over Wade Wilson.” Clint sniggered, eyeing a glaring Bucky.

“Ok Tony, we weren’t really dating. I didn’t reject her or anything. And I’m sure they were joking, I don’t think she’s actually dating Deadpool.” Steve placated him.

“I dunno man, they looked pretty loved up. Did you see the way they were around each other? That’s real passion, you can’t fake that.” Sam added.

“What about that Remy guy? He definitely liked her and he seemed nice, very charming.” Tony suggested.

“You only like him because he called you a legend.” Clint pointed out.

“Good with the parents, that’s important in a partner. Plus she seemed really at ease around him, and he was definitely eyeing her up. They had some real chemistry going on.” Sam put in with a smirk.

Bucky’s eyes were getting colder as he glared at Sam.

“Remy was one of the mutants taken by Project Vernichtung. He was there for a few months before your daughter helped him escape and he was the one who told the X-Men where to find it when you helped us infiltrate it.” Jean explained.

“Wait, they knew each other before?” Tony asked.

“So they have history. The kind that epic love stories grow from.” Sam noted.

“Sam..” Wanda chided sensing Bucky’s distress.

“I’m just saying, this Remy dude seems like he might have a thing for her. Starting to see how deep that affection might run, on both sides.” Sam explained with a shrug.

Jean and Wanda both inhaled sharply.

“What is it? What’s wrong?” Tony asked straight away.

“Jean?” Storm gently asked.

“They’ve run into complications. Miss Stark is suffering physical wounds from psychological trauma. They have it under control, you can’t go in there. Any distractions could cause Charles to pull from her mind suddenly, causing irreparable damage.” Jean warned them.

“So we just sit up here on our asses and twiddle our thumbs?” Tony snapped.

“The Professor had this handled, if you go in you’re not just risking your daughters safety, you risk The Professors as well.” Scott told him.

“I’m taking a walk.” Bucky announced and strode out.

“I’ll go with him.” Steve said and hurried after him.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

“Whoa, gross!” Wade announced as your unconscious body jerked against the restraints and your ribs made a cracking sound.

Blood poured from your nose and Logan turned your head to the side, allowing it to flow freely without going down your throat.

“What’s happening?” Wade asked, poking your cheek curiously.

“Not a clue.” Logan huffed, slapping Wade’s hand away.

“Should we help?” Wade asked.

“How exactly are we going to do that?”

Wade crouched down so he was on the same level as you.

“Heyyyy Peaches, if you can hear me, you’ve got this!” He cheered encouragingly.

“Wade, shut the fuck up.” Logan snapped.

“Whatever you’re doing chuck, hurry it up. She can’t take much more of this.” Logan muttered in concern as bruises blossomed across your skin.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Your head snapped back as Vernichtung smacked you across the jaw and you snarled and wrapped your arms around it’s middle, pile-driving it into the floor and straddling it.

“Why a mirror?” It hissed as you drew your arm back.

“What?” You paused in confusion at the seemingly random question.

“Why trap me in a mirror?”

“I don’t know.”

“Yes you do.”

“I don’t.” You yelled, driving your fist into its face with a satisfying crunch.

“YOU DO!” It screamed through bloody lips.

“I don’t know!! Poetic irony? You look like me, you wear my face and I’m terrified of the day I look in the mirror and you’re the reflection I see?” You ranted as it wrestled you, trying to get free.

“You are not like The Hulk, or even your precious Bucky and his Winter Soldier. I’m not a parasitic personality taking up residence in your mind and you know it.” It snarled.

It was right and you did know it. Faced with the real Vernichtung, not a nightmare or video you couldn’t deny it any longer.

“All those years you suffered in a cage, beaten down, your bones broken over and over, your skin split and bleeding, being told how you would destroy the world… You didn’t really believe you were unscathed by it did you?” It asked you derisively.

“You’re me. My dark side.” You whispered.

“All that anger, all that hatred, all that potential for evil. You pushed it so far down you actually managed to separate it from yourself. You wanted so badly to be good you tore yourself in two. I’m not some monster created by Docherty, I’m the monster you made because you couldn’t bear to admit that you were a monster.” It spat at you, pushing you off it and crouching beside you.

“I am NOT a monster!” You insisted.

“Then why make me? If I’m not a monster why was I ever created? Because I’m the part of you that wants to destroy the world and everyone in it. You suffered, why shouldn’t everyone else? Forget watching the world burn, you want to make it bleed. You want to rip apart all that’s good and pure until the streets run with rivers of red and the world drowns and chokes on it’s own blood.”

You backed away from it in horror.

“It is not the potential or desire for violence that makes somebody a monster. We all have the potential for evil within us and the lengths you go to so you might deny that part of yourself and fight it prove that you are not evil.” Xavier said from behind you as he finally broke through the barriers in your mind.

“Professor. We shouldn’t have come here.” You said.

“Forgetting about this was only a temporary fix my dear, it is time you faced her. It is time you faced yourself.”

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Bucky stormed outside, pacing across the well manicured front lawn of the mansion. Steve stood a little bit away, silently waiting on Bucky to start talking.

“I haven’t spoken to her in days Steve! Days! And I find her here, holed up with two men who are all over her and she runs off without saying a word to me!” Bucky ranted.

“Buck, Tony was stood right there. You agreed to keep it a secret, if you weren’t ok with that you should have said.” Steve reasoned.

“She could have… Fuck. I don’t know, something.”

“She could have what Bucky? Thrown caution to the wind, risked pushing her father away just to assure you what you already know? Remy and Wade aren’t the ones she’s with, she’s with you.”

“Doesn’t feel like it.” Bucky muttered.

“James Buchanan Barnes pull yourself together.” Steve snapped and Bucky stopped pacing to look at Steve in shock.

“She chose you, don’t make that seem less than it is. You love her, don’t you dare mess that up because you’re jealous.”

“It’s not that Steve, it’s not. Alright yeah, I’m jealous she has ‘chemistry’ and ‘history’ with that Remy fella but that’s not what I’m scared of.” Bucky admitted.

“Well what the hell are you afraid of?”

“I’m afraid she’ll never love me the way I love her.”

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

“I don’t want that be that thing Professor.” You protested.

“I know, and you should not allow it to break free. But you can’t hide from it either.”

“So what do I do?” You pleaded desperately.

“Admit to yourself what it is, what you are.” He urged you.

You turned slowly to the sneering thing and did what the Professor had asked.

“I knew Docherty was evil and he wanted me to be as well. I fought against it but nobody can fight forever. Every day in that place, living in that hell without any hope… It broke me.” You acknowledged.

“I felt all the anger, the bloodlust growing inside me and it frightened me. So I buried it deep down inside me, caging it alongside all the powers that I was afraid of. All my worst impulses, every dark thought, every bit of anger, every violent instinct, I shoved it away. And I created what Docherty had spent years cultivating, I created Vernichtung.” You admitted emotionally and your eyes burned as the tears fell.  

You looked at this thing, this paragon of evil and said the truth that was literally staring you in the face.

“I AM Vernichtung.”

“You kept me at bay for so long but as soon as you left that place and came into the real world, your control started to wane. It is my turn to walk in the sun.” It, she, you sneered.

“Maybe, but not today.” You vowed.

A mirror shimmered into existence behind it and Vernichtung snarled.

“I can close the door but you need to keep it locked.” Charles warned you.

“You aren’t strong enough to contain me anymore.” It chuckled.

“Listen you demonic wannabe, you might be me but you’re the worst of me, you have no fucking idea what I am capable of.” You snarled.

You shoved with every single ounce of power you had, screaming with the exertion and sent it sailing back behind the mirror.

“Find a way to lock the cage but understand this, it is only a temporary solution. This will only give us time to find a real way to deal with it.” He told you as the glass rattled and Vernichtung screamed.

“The more human you become the stronger I am, run back to your father and let him comfort you, it will feed my strength. Laugh with your friends and the glass will start to crack. Be with your lover and the glass will shatter. The more you love, the faster you die!” Vernichtung hissed at you.

In the mansion you and Charles awoke.

“Lock the door. Now!” Charles urged you.

You knew what you had to do.

“Untie me.” You instructed Wade.

“Do it.” The professor agreed.

You could feel the monster under the surface scrabbling for purchase and it felt like you were being ripped apart from the inside.

“HURRY!” You screamed and Logan extended his claws, shredding the restraints holding you down.

You leapt to your feet, holding on to your own mind becoming more difficult. If you were going to lock the door in your mind you needed to run.

Rushing for the door you hurtled through it, determined to do what needed to be done to stop Vernichtung from taking over. You ran through the halls at breakneck speed, your hair streaming behind you. You burst into the room where The Avengers and X-Men were waiting and bypassed them all. You ran for the front doors and threw yourself through them.

If you were trapped in somebody’s subconscious you wouldn’t tell them how you planned to escape, you would manipulate them into doing what you needed them to do. Vernichtung said love was your weakness which meant it was your strength.

And nobody made you stronger than Bucky.

You ran onto the grass and ignoring the Avengers and X-Men piling out of the door behind you, you pulled Bucky towards you and kissed him like your life depended on it, because it did.

And when he kissed you back, crushing you to his chest like you’d disappear if he didn’t hold on, you felt the lock in your mind snap shut.

“So I shouldn’t worry about Remy then?” He muttered against your lips.

“Remy?”

“You know, the one who’s staring at you with literal heart eyes. The one you have a history with, who you owe your freedom to.”

You pulled back and glared at him.

“That’s not how it works Bucky, you don’t love someone because you owe them anything. It’s not a choice, it just happens. Yes, Remy and I have a history but he’s not the one I’m in love with.” You said in exasperation.

It was only when his posture straightened and he looked at you with wide eyes did you realise what you’d just said. Your heart thumped in your chest erratically as you tried to think of a way to backtrack.

“You love me.” He stated.

“I didn’t say that, I said I didn’t love Remy.” You stuttered.

He closed the distance between you in one stride and you froze.

“You love me.” He stated again, more firmly.

“James...”

His fingers brushed lightly over your cheek and you realized you were crying softly.

“You love me.” He said a third time and there was wonderment and awe in his voice.

“Yes” You breathed out the word

“I love you, only you and always you James. I love you.” You professed, terrified and glad to have it out in the world.

“I love you too doll. More than anything.” He said and your breath caught in your chest.

He pulled you back in and his lips were a breath away from yours as his arm circled around your waist and his metal hand cradled your head.

“I love you.” He whispered against your lips.

As you closed the gap to kiss him and all your worries melted away under Bucky’s touch, neither of you noticed Tony who was standing at the door as you and Bucky kissed on the front lawn for everyone to see.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

God, thank you to all you regular commenters. You guys are like my friends at this point (it's legally binding, you comment and we're friends) and I'm so grateful to you all. Comments and likes are like drugs to me, they make me really fucking happy and inspired.

Also Steve: Quit being a little bitch! Bucky: I just wish she'd love me as much as I love her. Reader: *yeets self at Bucky's* ONLY YOUR LOVE CAN SAVE ME. Steve: .... Wish granted pal.

@nerdandproud-86 @harrison-shot-first@chook007@thejourneyneverendsx@thelostallycat@inquisitor-selvala@the-corruptor @iovher@kendrawr-kitkat@phoenix-whiskey-tears@the–real-wombat@buckitybarnes@fairislesheets@angieptt@meganjonezzzz

@dugan365 @fluffeh-kitty@memanda17@krystallynx@theonelittleone

@piscesbarnes @free-as-fishes@tarastudiesalot@captainamericasbeard

@dropthepizza346 @jaynnanadrews @likes-to-smell-books@drdorkus

@life-wanderer @metalarmlover @animegirlgeeky @jsmith509

[stop-breaking-my-heart-telltale]

I really love how you write about James x Mitch, i never shipped them until i read your fic, what do you think each of them could bring to the relationship/why are they good for eachother? Your points of view are really interesting.

oh anon you have no idea what floodgate you’ve opened-

So, like I’ve said, it’s probably no longer a secret that jamitch is a guilty pleasure ship of mine. I’m absolutely in love with the idea of this ship. Hell, I’d go as far as to say that it’s my second favorite ship right behind clouis. I know it’s a little insane but let me start at the beginning. 

In ep2, both Mitch and James have decent amounts of screentime. 

Looking at James first, we’re shown this dude wearing another dudes face to blend in with the walkers. He’s soft-spoken, appears to be incredibly intelligent, and he comes off like he genuinely cares about Clementine and AJ’s safety.  He saves them from Lilly and Abel, and already we see just what a pacifist he is towards these walkers. He doesn’t stealth kill them; he throws rocks to make them go away. 

He mentions that he didn’t want to sacrifice as many, but he also didn’t want Clementine and AJ to be taken. He stops her from attacking a walker, suggesting she throw a rock instead like he did before, and we all know how far he goes with this way of thinking in future episodes.  

Now, keep in mind that James has no personal connections to these walkers and who they were before they turned. 

 Now, Mitch.

We’re shown that he’s incredibly angry about Marlon’s death and wants Clementine and AJ gone. He’s very harsh, trying to come off as intimidating when he pulls his knife on them and being the first to say they need to leave. 

When Clementine and AJ come back, he’s willing to put those feelings aside because the fate of the school depends on their teamwork, whether he likes it or not. And, again, he tries to intimidate Clementine with “If we survive this, you and I are gonna have words." and "Make her go. We send the one we don’t mind losing." 

However, at this point, it’s pretty clear that he’s all huff and puff without any blow. The more Clementine talks with him, the more he calms down and shares about his past in bomb-making. 

Now, let’s talk about Ms. Martin. 

She’s a walker now, but she was someone Mitch knew. As Ruby said, Ms. Martin stayed when all the other adults left and that has to mean something, right? But what does Mitch want to do with her body?

He wants to burn her because it’s not Ms. Martin, it’s a walker. 

“It’s better, you know. To get it over with. You get all caught up in who people used to be and you can’t deal with what’s in front of you.”

vs.

“It was hard to send the herd in. To help you…. I didn’t want them to die.”

Do you see where I’m going with this? 

Already we’ve got these two boys who are on completely different viewpoints of walkers and seemingly have opposite personalities. 

To James, walkers still hold something more, something peaceful and human. To Mitch, they’re just dead. They’re not people, they’re walkers. 

Now imagine these boys meeting.

One thing that I will always be a salty bitch about is the fact that both James and Mitch have plenty of screen time in ep2 but never get the opportunity to meet. 

Because if they had? 

How fascinating would it be to watch these two go from strangers with seemingly nothing in common to tolerable acquaintances to eventual friends to lovers?

When you look past their views on walkers, they actually have a few things in common, and I’m not just talking about them both getting murdered by Lilly c’mon

They’re both incredibly stubborn and set in their ways. The odds of you changing their minds on certain topics are slim, but not impossible. I actually think when James says, “I may be stubborn, but I’m not heartless,” actually summarizes both of them in many ways.

Both aren’t afraid to try and protect someone younger and weaker than them. 

This is what gets Mitch killed in canon when he goes after Lilly trying to save Tenn [as infuriating and stupid as it is] and we know how much he cared for and looked after Willy.  

We see James save Tenn at least twice; on the boat when he wrestles a gun away from the raider who was going to shoot Tenn and when he straight up punches the walker that grabs him in the cave. Not to mention him helping AJ when he was shot. 

They both use knives as weapons when fighting. Shit, James uses two knives! You can’t tell me that Mitch wouldn’t be impressed as shit seeing James take down a herd of walkers while duel-wielding knives. He wouldn’t say it out loud, though. He’d just be like, “Yeah, you’re not bad with those, I guess…” but he’s fucking screaming on the inside. 

When I think of these two, I think of them coming to an agreement: We keep the walkers alive because it’s beneficial to us so long as they’re contained and in no way endanger us. 

In my own writings, James and the Ericson squad have an arrangement. James scouts the areas around the schools and collects the walkers. He secures them in his barn and because of this, their hunting grounds are almost always free of stray walkers, making it easier and safer to hunt and travel. In exchange, James has a room at the school to stay in whenever he wants. 

He’s apart of the group after everything that went down at the delta. 

Mitch still doesn’t see walkers the way James does, but that’s okay. It’s not something that they constantly argue about because it’s not really an issue anymore. 

And you know what it makes room for?

James bonding with Willy [because the kid still things he’s a badass] which in turn makes Mitch try harder to get along with him. 

Eventually, Mitch doesn’t have to try, it just happens. 

James teaches Mitch all kinds of amazing blade techniques, and Mitch helps James with his archery skills. Can’t you see these two fighting together, side by side? See them hunting and scouting together?

James helps Mitch will all of his building and repairing projects, and they actually get to talk with one another about all kinds of shit. 

Mitch giving James emergency firecrackers to distract walkers with if things ever got ugly?

Mitch trying not to show he’s worried when James spends some nights out in the woods and being unable to wrap his head around it? Them getting into petty arguments about it but eventually making up when James finally opens up about his time with the Whisperers and all the horrible things he’s done? Mitch initially being freaked out about such a past but realizing that that’s not who James is anymore? 

These two dingdongs dancing around each other and their feelings for several personal reasons? To the point where everyone’s just fucking done with it?

Mitch refusing to subject himself to the potential pain of losing someone he cares about romantically? Causing him to suppress and downright ignore everything he feels when they’re together?

James having his doubts because of how sour his previous relationship went? Especially when he starts to realize that Charlie and Mitch actually have their fair share of similarities? 

Mitch going out of his way to do things for James then turning around and acting like it isn’t a big deal? 

Mitch just…. being so goddamn soft for him??? 

James’ feelings growing so strong that he begins to avoid Mitch and spend more nights out in the woods?

….I’m going to stop there because I actually have a whole scenario of how they actually get together planned and I don’t want to completely spoil it. 

Anyway.

 In conclusion. 

Mitch and James are a combination of characters who shouldn’t work based on their opposite views, but they do. 

In my silly little head, Mitch and James as a couple makes sense and I almost hate it? 

Because of course I would ship these two together. They literally never meet in canon! There’s no canonical evidence to back these two as a potential couple! 

Nothing about them should make any sense!

But I fucking love them anyway

I’m gonna die holding jamitch in one hand and clouis in the other. 

[wojtekbc]

D&D Session 7 Player Summary.

When last we left our heroes... Having forced the Warbreed’s hand, the party fought Heavy Cavalry 2274 and his lackeys in an even fight so to avoid unnecessary slaughter. With their leader dead, the Warbreed soldiers turned and left the town, leaving the party to recuperate for a few days before moving on towards Octin, following their third and final contract. The sun has set by the time the party arrives in Octin though the town is still busy; people are running around the streets, setting up stalls, hanging decorations; all signs might potentially maybe sort of point towards a huge festival, and we haven’t missed it. The party make their way to the Affable Undulate to rest up for what is surely going to be a fun day full of party games and definitely no shocking backstory revelations. Over dinner, Shura tells Ellenwae @xynnos​ a plan most devious discussed with Naoise on the road to Octin @bluethegirl​ ; that Orc Juice we stole from the Warbreed camp is a military grade amphetamine, we don’t need too much of it, and it seems like the exact kind of thing any soldiers would probably love to have in their back pocket. This goes back and forth for quite some time; the ethics of selling an addictive substance are brought up, questions of who to sell it to are pondered, ways to make sure Naoise doesn’t end up selling it to the public are jokingly discussed... the decision is reached that the party will sell it eventually, keeping some vials for Ellenwae to get maggoted in an orchard and commune with spirits or something, but we will wait until the end of the Super Happy Fun Fun Time coming around tomorrow. Our big buddy Otis walks over to the table and tells the party that our employer has finally revealed herself to be one Guinevere Greysteel; name not ringing any bells for the 1 person who reads these and isn’t playing? She’s some sort of relative to the wizard our dearest monk fucking brained but a week ago. She requests to meet us, and we all decide that it’s a good call but not until we’ve had our party time. Apparently there’s a wedding happening between the daughter of the local dickhead noble Fabron and some woman from the east called Ellavara; Naoise drinks heavily at this news and spends some of this downtime writing a song detailing just how much of a prick Duke Fabron is. Room shenanigans are had; it’s strange how D&D inns always have enough beds for the party -1. Naoise and Rowan @krunk-mcdunk​ vie control of the double bed to themselves whilst Ellenwae sleeps on the floor.  The party’s up bright and early to seize the day, but not bright and early enough to catch Jawbones (Jawbones!) @darkseldarine​ or Cerna @pantographicclone​ leaving the inn; Jawbones had the decency to leave a note with little hearts and a smiley face, at least. She’s off visiting an old friend! Cerna’s off doing something horrible and occult, probably! One hearty breakfast later and the party is off to beat peasants at their own games. Ellenwae starts this adventure off by following the sound of a crier looking for contestants to catch the lady of lace. Ellenwae, in his off-white robes laced with living plants, is probably quite surprised when it turns out to be a greased pig to be chased through the streets, but to his credit he’s still down for it. A bolt ahead of the pack and a failed attempt to charm the pig start the race off, but all cunning plans give way to the need to grab the pig, which Ellie tries and fails as some burly peasant dude manages to pull it off. Oh well, definitely one way to start the day off!  Next up on the list of things to do is prove to the locals that Shura is greater than any champion they could throw at him by way of arm wrestling competition. Now, ya boi was prepared to rage, or go through multiple competitors, but it was unnecessary. The champion came out, Shura shook his hand, they started and the match was over in seconds. It was pitiful. Now winning and leaving a crowd shocked is great by itself I’ll give you that but what’s even better is winning, leaving a crowd shocked, and being given a fucking magical greataxe for winning. Shura almost gave it away though, because as a player I thought with a name like “The Axe of Gonzo” it was just a regular greataxe. Off that the lads head towards a fighting pit where some sort of ‘master’ has set himself up and is accepting challengers. Naturally, our hyper-lethal Monk jumps at the opportunity to crack skulls so Rowan jumps in the pit and squares off against the Master of Gators. Before the fight even begins, the dude looks at Rowan with the hooligan party in the crowd cheering her on and asks if she has ever been to Ravenhome; seems like news of our exploits precedes us. The fight is a tough one wherein the prick keeps grabbing and biting Rowan while she slips from his grasp and continually cracks him with her staff until on her last legs, she manages to take the bastard down with a palm. The built Monk hits the ground in the pit, and as Rowan’s hand pulls back from the strike, the tattoos follow. Ink crawls up Rowan’s arms to her shoulders and sets in place as two alligators sprawl out across shoulder, chest and bicep. Rowan of the Shadows, Mageslayer, Master of Gators, She of Many Titles. We cross the town to get Rowan something to drink and what the fuck is this? A parade? With the two women to be married? Why has Naoise ran down an alleyway and come back as a different person? Why did Ellavara do a triple-take at Ellenwae? What the fuck is happening? Let’s uhhhhhhhhh discuss this back at the bar later on because this is DEFINITELY not the kind of thing we should avoid. What better way to celebrate than a drinking contest! What better drinking contest than 95% ABV goblin hooch! That’s fucked! Everyone tries, and surprisingly Rowan is the only one to finish. She truly is the strongest of us. The party decides the best place for Naoise to drop her scathing political criticism diss track is in a market square with a massive fucking crowd, so that happens. Guards eventually show up, musketeers eventually show up to blockade the guards, people start chanting the song; it’s all quite a lot. Pleased with the work, the party move on to the opera. It was probably something about a prostitute dying of consumption; Shura definitely cried. BACK TO THE INN! EVERYONE! QUICK! SNACKS AND BEVS UPSTAIRS POST HASTE! MEET IN THE ROOM WITH THE DOUBLE BED IN 2 MINUTES! WE HAVE SHIT TO DISCUSS! The party sit down to finally have a talk. It’s unavoidable now. We’ve been travelling for a couple of weeks at this point but there has never been a time so dire to actually figure out who the fuck some of us are. Naoise doesn’t want to start so Ellenwae drops some of his past; he was exiled when he refused a marriage, and his goddess isn’t...alive? It’s theory, sure, but Ellenwae was dead, and Fayenna brought him back... but Monarchon addressed the goddess when talking to Ellie, so perhaps there is a dormant, primordial, pagan goddess slowly waking up and using Ellie’s body as a catalyst. He’s the first to speak her rites in eons, that much is certain. Suddenly, covered in twigs and dirt (and blood) it’s Jawbones (Jawbones!). Uriel managed to show up for a bit! Much rejoicing was had! “Well, after that, I’ll start us off; Hi, I’m Shura! What’s your name?” “My name isn’t Naoise.” Naoise the bard was Marcella the soldier not too long ago, but she abandoned her past life by faking her death for reasons yet unrevealed, leaving her wife and child in the east, her wife being one lady Ellavara. As she is right now, Naoise does not want to return to who she was, for this is the life she chose, yet she knows this arranged marriage is something that must be stopped. So, as adventurers are wont to do, the party plans to crash a wedding. Jawbones goes downstairs because she’s a local and looks completely normal when she’s not wearing a jawbone around her neck and carrying a massive fucking bow, because we need someone to figure out where the bride is staying. Naturally, Jawbones leaves her little mouse friend Piper with Ellenwae. See, out of character we were laughing at the fact the mouse is about 8 years old as Ellie casts Speak With Animals. We weren’t ready to find out Piper is a Wizard who has been trapped in the body of a mouse for almost a decade and has had no one to properly speak to since Ellenwae. What the fuck. What the everliving fuck. What a fucking session. I might edit thoughts on to this later but it’s pretty late.

[fromtheringapron]

WCW Souled Out 1997

Date: January 25, 1997.

Location: Five Seasons Center in Cedar Rapids, Iowa.

Attendance: 5,120.

Commentary: Eric Bischoff and Ted DiBiase. 

Results:

1. Masahiro Chono defeated Chris Jericho.

2. Mexican Death Match: Big Bubba Rogers defeated Hugh Morrus (with Jimmy Hart). 

3. Jeff Jarrett defeated Mr. Wallstreet. 

4. Buff Bagwell defeated Scotty Riggs. 

5. Scott Norton defeated Diamond Dallas Page via count-out. 

6. WCW Tag Team Championship Match: The Steiner Brothers (Rick & Scott) defeated The Outsiders (Scott Hall & Kevin Nash) (champions) to win the titles. The title change was later overturned. 

7. Ladder Match for the WCW United States Championship: Eddie Guerrero (champion) defeated Syxx. 

8. WCW World Heavyweight Championship Match: Hollywood Hogan (champion) and The Giant fought to a no-contest. 

My Review: 

Souled Out 1997 is one of the strangest shows I’ve ever watched. The nWo had grown so popular in the six months since it formed that WCW decided to give the stable its own pay-per-view and the results are, well, yeah. I commend them for trying to do something different, and there’s a lot of potential in the idea, but the actual show is a huge misfire. Its only real success is turning the nWo into a bunch of uncool dweebs. The stable was initially presented on WCW television as these cool, rebellious outsiders from an unnamed Northern wrestling company. Literally none of that shines through here. If this show is any indication, the nWo are obnoxious. They’re a bunch of assholes who laugh at their own jokes. Who would aspire to be like these guys?

Aesthetically, the show does go out of its way to look different from your average WCW pay-per-view. Everything is draped in black and white. Gone is the blocky, colorful WCW entranceway and in its place is a menacing set of stairs. Unfortunately, a lot of these ideas to break from the norm don’t quite work. Eric Bischoff and Ted DiBiase are insufferable as a pair of heel commentators, milking the most out of every terrible joke they can muster. The faces are accompanied to the ring by an nWo voiceover, who mocks them with insults that are neither creative or funny. There’s also some attempt at these handheld, alternative camera angles that essentially make the matches look like something out of America’s Funniest Home Videos.

Perhaps the biggest blunder of all, however, is the Miss nWo pageant. A contest on a wrestling pay-per-view between women who were brought out of complete obscurity and have never seen an ounce of wrestling in their life, let alone anything from WCW, would normally be right up my alley. The potential camp value should be high. But, wow, it’s just pure cringe from the start. Not only does it come off incredibly insulting to both the women involved and everyone’s intelligence, it’s also really awful watching Bischoff et al try to squeeze something fun out of it. By the way, all of the contestants can’t even seem bothered to care. The pageant is won by Miss Becky. I wonder if she knew she were at a wrestling show at all.

The actual card is kind of an afterthought. A lot of it is just an excuse for the nWo to dunk on the WCW roster, which is to be expected but it doesn’t really seem like there are a lot of high stakes here. It feels like the show is setting up to the nWo getting their comeuppance in a seriously major way yet we never get there. We do get to see The Steiners get one up on the nWo and win the tag belts, but the decision would be overturned the next night on Nitro. Hogan and The Giant then proceed to put on one of the worst main event matches I’ve seen in some time. It’s a completely phoned in 10 minutes that ends in a schmoz like literally every Nitro main event at the time. And then the show ends on a really weird note, with the nWo celebrating as the crowd in Cedar Rapids watches in silence.

That’s a good way to sum up this show, actually⏤it’s a party where only the hosts are entertained. The fans have to watch the nWo fuck around and make their crappy jokes as they sit there in complete apathy, and can you blame them? This show doesn’t bother catering to them at all. Maybe the contestants in the Miss nWo pageant were onto something in not giving a shit.

My Random Notes

The nWo is so cool they could only find one referee to officiate their matches.

Let it be known that when Big Bubba ran over Bill DeMott with a motorcycle, he was doing the Lord’s work.

DiBiase was never any good as a commentator. See also: Royal Rumble 1994. You’d think the charisma he brought to his promos would translate well into the commentary booth, but he sounds like a mellowed-out dad whose wild days are long behind him and therefore lacks the energy to get something over.

Any word on the whereabouts of Miss Becky? Is she still in Iowa making French fries or whatever the fuck was listed as her hobby?

One of the highlights of the show, not kidding you, is the adorable old woman in the crowd celebrating with DDP. It’s a cute moment.

Speaking of DDP, his rise to superstardom is one of the best things about this time period in WCW. The Nitro where he officially turns face and dupes The Outsiders is pretty badass. The feud with Randy Savage will officially make him but, for now, he’s just the cool anti-hero babyface WCW needs in their fight against the nWo.

The WCW guys don’t get their entrance music for this show, which is certainly one of its more irredeemable qualities, as it means we don’t get to hear Jeff Jarrett’s country bop of a theme.

This will sound weird, but the commentary made me miss Tony Schiavone so much. Dude is the voice of WCW, for better or worse. Couldn’t they have wrote it into the show that WCW was forced to send one of their commentators to the show? The show really needed that balance.

I’ve seen some love for the ladder match on this show, but I’m kinda indifferent to it. WCW didn’t do a whole lot ladder matches and when they did, they often lacked the spectacle of a WWF one. This one isn’t an exception to me, sorry. Probably not helping matters is that the crowd is pretty dead for it (surprise, surprise). Ladder matches work better when you can hear the shrieks of excitement from the no-good marks, y’know?

[thesportssoundoff]

“All the light heavyweights. All of ‘em” UFC Fight Night In Sweden Preview

Joey

May 27th, 2019

Did you enjoy yourself a little break from the MMA death march? Well fuckers we're BACK on at it! The UFC returns to ESPN+ with a little early afternoon action from Sweden on Saturday and it's a pretty interesting card! If you're the kind of guy who likes European lightweights and fights at LHW then this card is your deal. If you're looking for some serious big time relevancy outside of 205 lbs then there may not be much for ya. There's some eh fights on here, some meaningless fights and a few WMMA fights but all in all this card has some dumb fun vibes. Let's not wait too long and let's get right on into it.

Fights: 13

Debuts: Bea Malecki, Eduarda Santana, Sung Bing Jo, Danilo Belluardo,Rostem Akman, Sergey Khandozhko

Fight Changes/Injury Cancellations: 2 (Luigi Vendramini OUT, Frank Camacho IN vs Nick Hein/Bartosz Fabinski OUT, Rostem Akman IN vs Sergey Khandozhko)

Headliners (fighters who have either main evented or co-main evented shows in the UFC): 8 (Anthony Smith, Alexander Gustafsson, Jimi Manuwa, Ilir Latifi, Volkan Oezdemir, Lina Lansberg, Stevie Ray)

Fighters On Losing Streaks in the UFC: 5 ( Tanya Evinger, Daniel Teymur, Jimi Manuwa, Nick Hein, Frank Camacho)

Fighters On Winning Streaks in the UFC: 3 (Aleksandar Rakic, Damir Hadzovic, Leonardo Santos)

Main Card Record Since Jan 1st 2017 (in the UFC): 23-15

Alexander Gustafsson- 1-1 Anthony Smith- 5-2 Volkan Oezdemir-3-3 Ilir Latifi- 2-1 Jimi Manuwa- 1-3 Aleksandar Rakic- 3-0 Makwan Amirkhani- 1-1 Chris Fishgold- 1-1 Damir Hadzovic- 3-1 Christos Giagos- 1-1 Sung Bin Jo- 0-0 Daniel Teymur- 0-3

Fights By Weight Class (yearly number here):

Light Heavyweight- 4 (22) Lightweight-  4 (37) Featherweight-  2 (25) Women’s Bantamweight- 1 (7) Women’s Featherweight- 1 (2)

Welterweight- 1 (33)

Middleweight- (17)

Women’s Strawweight- (12) Women’s Flyweight-  (14) Bantamweight-  (24) Heavyweight- (15) Flyweight- (7)

Debuting Fighters (15-34)- Bea Malecki, Eduarda Santana, Sung Bing Jo, Danilo Belluardo,Rostem Akman, Sergey Khandozhko

Short Notice Fighters (14-18)- Rostem Akman, Frank Camacho

Second Fight (35-7)- Darko Stosic, Joel Alvarez

Cage Corrosion (Fighters who have not fought within a year of the date of the fight) (10-22)- LEonardo Santos, Makwan Amirkhani

Undefeated Fighters (19-24)- Bea Malecki, Rostem Akman

Fighters with at least four fights in the UFC with 0 wins over competition still in the organization (7-7): Frank Camacho, Stevie Ray

Weight Class Jumpers (Fighters competing outside of the weight class of their last fight even if they’re returning BACK to their “normal weight class”) (14-13)- Frank Camacho

Twelve Precarious Ponderings

1- Is Jon Jones "back" yet? By that I mean are we comfortable enough that he's going to be here on a yearly basis that a fight like Gus vs Smith is completely irrelevant? In years prior, you could argue that both Gustafsson and Anthony Smith would be one fight away from getting back into the mix. If Smith beats Gustafsson then he could realistically argue it's he vs Glover Tex for a potential #1 fight while Jones/Santos face Dominick Reyes. Gustafsson may be a little further out due to being 0-3 vs Jones AND Cormier but even he has a fanbase that would allow him in theory to be in the mix with one more win. Now though with Jones back, I can't imagine we're going to see many rematches if any. So is Gus vs Smith just a really fun action fight with no meaning?

2- So why did Anthony Smith accept this fight?  He wanted to take a long break after fighting in June, August, October and then March but alas! Dude's back and took this fight in Sweden vs Gus. Either he just can't say no or he's realizing that Gustafsson might be broken and is trying to steal a quickie return fight.

3- One of the lost-ish factors going into Gus vs Jones 2 was that Alexander Gustafsson isn't quite the same guy who gave Jones all that trouble in the first fight. Gustafsson's had some well known issues with his back and he doesn't look like the same guy he was outside of brief glimpses vs Glover Teixeira. Against Cormier he looked like a somewhat toned down version of the guy who fought Jones, he was blown out vs Rumble so you can't take much from that but vs Jones and Jan Blachowicz, he looked like a stiff rigid somewhat pudgy version of the dude who blasted through most of the 205 lb division in that 2011 to 2014 range. Anthony Smith is an interesting test for a few reasons, primarily because Gus is a slow starter normally and Smith is early offense (on most occasions). This could be Gustafsson's last chance at 205 lbs.

4- Two hard luck 205ers are on the top of this card who could use a big win. Volkan Oezdemir has fought Daniel Cormier followed by Anthony Smith followed by Dominick Reyes and comes into this fight with Ilir Latifi sporting a three fight losing streak. Oezdemir talent wise has found himself out of his element although his performance vs Dominick Reyes was impressive before repetitive body shots broke him down. Oezdemir has about 8-10 good minutes in him before he tires out but he's a tough out for most guys. He's facing the complete opposite of what he's good at with Ilir Latifi who hits hard, wrestles well and has JUST enough cardio to win those slopfests when they're in tight. Jimi Manuwa comes into this fight having lost three in a row as well against Jan Blachowicz, Volkan Oezedemir and current #1 contender Thiago Santos. He's going to be tasked with welcoming in Aleksandar Rakic into the potential top 10 ranks.

5- So how do you feel about these almost "themed" cards? We cool with the amount of light heavyweight fights on this deal as a theme of sorts?

6- When do you think will be the next time we get back to back cards with women's featherweight fights on them?

7- Nick Hein might be next on the Elias Theodorou Midnight Train Goin' Anywhere if he doesn't emerge with a win.

8- In 2015, the UFC thought they had something with "Mr. Finland" Makwan Amirkhani. He started out 2-0 and had all sorts of savvy and social media presence going for him. A guy who looked like he had a world of promise has seen the last three fights of fighting just really suck the life out of him. A win over Mike Wilkinson was followed up by a year off, a loss to Arnold Allen in a very blegh split decision, followed up by a year off and then a split decision win over bare knuckle fighting savant Jason Knight. Amirkhani is not progressing much in his career and he looks like a dude who has stagnated. He's also bounced between a ton of name gyms and at this point I think the hype has officially fizzled out on him as a potential name of note in Europe. The Chris Fishgold fight should be a good barometer for what remains of Amirkhani as he's officially on the wrong side of 30 now.

9- Why is Daniel Teymur on the main card?

10- Leonardo Santos is back! Let's see how many fights it takes before people are tired of him.

11- Aleksandar Rakic provides a fresh face at 205 lbs and if there's one main card guy to get excited about, it's him. Rakic has been given some tough outs in the UFC; his debut was vs notorious slogger Francimar Barroso and his follow up was undefeated HW Justin Ledet dropping down to 205 lbs. His last fight he battled through some big time early offense from Devin Clark before rallying to score a big finish. Manuwa does nothing but hit hard so this could be scary early on.

12- How many HWs could Ilir Latifi beat?

[kiruuuuu]

Stuck in rarepair hell? I know that feeling, @legokay :) All of those are my favourite boys, so choosing wasn’t easy but I ended up going with Glaz/Echo, extra fluffy for you ❤❤ (Rating T, fluff fluff fluff, ~1.5k words)

.

“Right in the dick”, Echo announces gleefully, followed by a snort, “that dude’s not gonna breed anymore, that’s for sure, but he’ll be hella pissed at you and shattered balls might not be enough of a distraction to take out the guy who ruined his family jewels.”

“You’re unbelievable”, Glaz replies with a shake of his head but can’t help his smile. He’s reloading now and glancing up at the Japanese man stumbling about next to him, large VR glasses hiding half his face. They’re messing about after Glaz mentioned wanting to practise very long range shots – normally, it’s a quiet and boring affair, because even if someone’s assisting him, they’re all the way over by the target dummies to inform him of his accuracy. Echo, however, offered to pilot one of his aerial drones to check where Glaz’ shots hit: that way, he’s not going to be bored to death and Echo can practise flying his drones in virtual reality with the help of the 360° cam he installed on it.

With how competently Echo is navigating his drone after even bragging of being on par with actual drone flying competitions, Glaz somehow doubts he needs the practise but since this means Echo is choosing to keep him company, he’s not complaining. He’s lying on the floor and aiming downhill while Echo is excitedly dancing around, nearly falling over the cables coming from the small building next to them and tripping over the uneven ground now and then. So far, he’s managed not to actually eat shit but it seems to be a matter of when and not if.

“And boom. You’re dead. The neutered counter-sniper has taken revenge for his nutsack. You were too slow, Glaz, game over, try again. Maybe next time express your disdain for toxic masculinity in your free time and not on the job or I’ll get your brain jelly all over my shoes again.” The words are accompanied by animated gestures and Echo moving further and further away without realising. Something about piloting his drones always puts him in high spirits, has him turn off his verbal filter and leaves him excited enough to not care about potentially embarrassing himself. Glaz has witnessed it a few times in his own presence but not with anyone else – and he’d like to think that his colleague (and friend?) trusts him enough to show him this side of his personality voluntarily.

“You’re nowhere near me anyway, watch where you’re walking”, Glaz points out, amused, and takes aim once again as Echo cautiously steps towards his voice and stretches one of his legs to prod him in the side with the tip of his shoe. Moving out of the way is too easy and so the older man nearly loses his balance yet again. “I’m going to shoot the second one on the left right in the head.”

“So that means you’ll hit the one on the right directly in his kidneys. He needed those, Glaz, now he has to get dialysis for the rest of his life. Maybe he would’ve donated one of them! Congratulations, you just killed an innocent child who would’ve received a bad guy’s kidney to -” Wordlessly, Glaz moves the barrel up until it’s pointing directly below the tiny drone hovering in the distance and takes the shot. “Whoa, hey, did you just – how dare you!”

“Your little electrical mosquito better fly for its life”, Glaz announces with a grin and shoots again, still not aiming at the drone directly.

“Ha, with how rotten your aim is today, you couldn’t hit it even if you tried.”

The sniper takes this as a challenge and is about to actually fire at the device when Echo lightly kicks his arm to throw off his aim while starting to undertake evasive manoeuvres both himself and with his drone. They’re both trying to interfere with each other now, nudging and shoving until Glaz sets his rifle aside, trips him and sits down on his midsection facing his legs and starting to giggle when Echo remorselessly slaps his ass to get rid of him. They playfight some more, both laughing now and wrestling for the remote – Echo trying to not let it fall into Glaz’ hands and Glaz simply pushing the sticks wildly in an attempt to make Echo nauseous. The Russian is in an undoubtedly better position as he can actually see what’s happening while Echo blindly flails at him.

“Okay, okay, how about a truce?”, Echo suggests when Glaz has him pinned down and unable to move. “We call this a tie and I’ll let you fly my drone for a bit.”

Glaz can’t remember him ever allowing anyone to pilot any of his drones, not even Twitch who probably understands them best right after Echo himself, so he agrees readily and releases the Japanese man from his grip, half expecting him to take back the offer and continue the fight, but he pulls through. Glaz helps him get up and then listens patiently as Echo explains to him how the remote works and that he’d best stay high in the air to avoid any danger of collision. Then Echo puts the heavy VR glasses on his head and Glaz’ knees go weak.

The first sensation is falling because he’s suddenly so high up without any sort of safety measure that his body panics – all that his eyes are telling him is that he’s flying, hanging in the sky hundreds of metres above the ground. Being able to look around and see nothing that conflicts with this notion is extremely disorienting, and while he flinches when Echo wraps his fingers around his upper arm, he’s grateful for the supportive touch. It’s almost dreamlike, so unlike anything Glaz has experienced first hand that all he can do is move his head, turn around and marvel at the sight, at the feeling of being the drone. Simple 2D screens can never compare to this, can’t rival the sensation of being able to look around seamlessly.

“You know what, let’s go inside. I can watch the monitor to see where you’re going.” Echo removes the headpiece again and drags him into the building before putting it back on, allowing Glaz back into that endless freedom. “Try moving, like this.” Echo pushes one of the sticks in a direction and Glaz nearly stumbles and falls at the unexpected movement – it’s as if someone else had taken control of his body, an unreal and strange feeling. “Okay, it’s probably better if you do it, I don’t want you to throw up.”

“Can you – can you hold me? Somehow? I think that helps.” Glaz hasn’t seen any chairs around in the barren room and doesn’t want to sit on the ground as it would limit his movement.

A short pause, then Echo says: “Alright.” His hands come to rest on Glaz’ hips and the touch is reassuring, especially together with sensing Echo’s body right behind his. “Go on, move. I wouldn’t fly over the base but you can see some more of the countryside.”

And so Glaz begins his flight. The conflicting sensation of standing in place yet simultaneously soaring through the sky is upsetting his stomach a little but Echo’s presence helps. He learns the controls slowly as he doesn’t share Echo’s affinity to delicate tech, but the whole experience is mind-blowing nonetheless, the view is stunning and makes him want to paint it, paint the world like a bird might see it, roads weaving through the fields, houses no more than specks of colours and steep hills reduced to a gentle incline. He notices his cheeks are hurting and realises he’s been smiling in awe non-stop. “This is absolutely breathtaking”, he says quietly and Echo huffs a soft laugh.

“Isn’t it?” He sounds proud. “Let me do some tricks.” Warm hands slide over Glaz’ and take over, Echo has to step closer for it, press himself against Glaz’ back as he uses both of their fingers to pilot the drone so that Glaz isn’t surprised by sudden movement. it’s like riding a rollercoaster while standing still, a cheerful laugh bubbles up in Glaz’ throat as he’s made to do flips and a variety of other manoeuvres during which he has to lean into Echo as to not lose his balance. When it stops, he’s giddy and light-headed and finally understands why Echo gets so excited whenever he does this.

“Are you alright?”, Echo asks and withdraws his hands to wrap his arms around Glaz’ torso, hold him in a tight embrace that can’t only be friendly support. No. There’s more.

Glaz relaxes into the hug and smiles to himself, hoping Echo can’t see it. “Yeah.” And thinks: Now I am. He looks down where his feet aren’t, down at the English countryside which has never looked this beautiful to him and takes one hand off the remote to stroke over one of Echo’s arms. “Can we do this again sometime?”

[salavante]

Last one, with a compilation of all the heads incoming! I already answered the ask where @solrika originally asked about Rusty, so this one’s a free-floater. 

Full Name: Rusty Tsivanoh

Gender and Sexuality: Nonbinary Transmasculine (they have been through the magical equivalent of HRT but no top surgery), Bisexual

Pronouns: They/Them with masculine honorifics (Mr., Boyfriend, Husband, Sir, etc)

Ethnicity/Species: Luch-Dor (Bennai mixed with a bennai subspecies known as the Dor)

Birthplace and Birthdate: Born in a subsection of Logtown, and would refer to their birthday by the Bennai calendar, but we’d be familiar with it as January 21st.

Guilty Pleasures: Pretty much all of the guilty pleasures regard unhealthy food - big milkshakes, loaded nachos, giant cheeseburgers, chicken & waffles, key lime pie etc. They maintain a really rigorous fitness routine and diet, but will buckle every once in awhile. Odwain is a bad influence. 

Phobias: They’re a really loving dad when they have kids and their #1 fear is something bad happening to one of them, which unfortunately does happen in the case of Horace and Horatio respectively.

What They Would Be Famous For: Adventuring with The Network (Hare & Jonquil’s organization), being a key engineer on a large building project (well, textbook famous, not celebrity famous). In Ozzy’s universe Rusty is part of a government task force that hunts Liches and while they couldn’t be recognized on sight, their codename, Heatmiser, is well known.

What They Would Get Arrested For: They actually were canonically arrested on an assault charge, lol.

OC You Ship Them With: Rusty is one of those characters who has good chemistry with a LOT of people. My two big ones that I fawn over are Rusty/Odwain and Rusty/Jonquil, but in Ozzy’s universe Rusty has a daughter with Rutabaga, and they also have good potential romantic chemistry with Hare, Domino, Nev and (a couple names that mean nothing to anyone but me and Jacob) Hemlock and Trillium.  

OC Most Likely To Murder Them: I mean Odwain depending on what stage in their relationship is in when you look at it (he did not like them at first), and there also are universes where they are enemies instead of friends or lovers. The only constant is that their relationship is always really intense. Oh, and The Machine God also wants to eat their dick.

Favorite Movie/Book Genre: When Rusty reads its probably for the absorption of information more often than it is for pleasure, whether its scientific journals, stuff about fitness or research papers in their field of expertise. Movies are something they’re more likely to seek entertainment in, and honestly probably like some pretty basic stuff. Action films, the occasional horror movie, romance - anything as long as it doesn’t get slow or boring. They like popcorn flicks.

Least Favorite Movie/Book Cliche: Not a fan of slow-burn types of stuff or things that are too heady or artsy or complicated.  

Talents and/or Powers: A master engineer with a genius level IQ. They started out being nonmagical, but some shenanigans ensue that make them magically sensitive. Horatio’s pop, the Rusty that’s married to Jonquil, is a witch that uses fire magic. In our current tabletop game they’ve taken a prestige class called a Warcaller, where they can do magical enhancements to themself by speaking simple incantations.

Why Someone Might Love Them: They’re full of rustic charisma, are good with people and are fairly emotionally intuitive, and extremely reliable once they’ve simmered down in their late 20’s. Good to people in low social classes, where they have their roots, and have a lot of compassion for their struggles. The make things with the genuine intention of creating stuff that will make peoples’ lives easier. Solid sense of humor and a big, hearty laugh, and are good at having fun wherever they are. Really sweet and generous towards people they care about, and very romantic and chivalrous with their chosen partners.  

Why Someone Might Hate Them: They were a fucking shithead from about the ages of 16-23. Started shit at the drop of a hat, got in fights all the time, picked on people who they felt deserved it, ran their mouth. They were the guy who’d come to your party, get drunk and crash head first into your mother’s china cabinet. Even today, Rusty has a temper and will throw the first punch if they are inclined, and has a very strong personality that I think would cause some people to actively avoid them.  

How They Change: I can’t speak much about comic verse. But in our games, obviously their relationship with Odwain changes from something very antagonistic to something very loving, but I’d say Rusty gets a lot less volatile even from then on out. They worry about the people they care about more, and when their son has a near death experience, they are way more overprotective of him than they ever could’ve imagined they’d be. In our current game, they’ve been wrestling with how Odwain has visibly aged while they’ve stayed the same, how they can spend the rest of his life with him, but they’ll be without him for a significant stretch of theirs. They are not going to grow old together. This is exasperated when Odwain, well, DIES. YEAH HE DIED a few sessions ago. If the PCs win the game The Hunt will resurrect the dead, but if they don’t, he’s just dead, dude. Rusty’s in a rough spot right now. They feel most powerless they’ve ever been. 

Why You Love Them: Mm, well, I don’t love talking about being trans, but I made Rusty when I was first kind of dipping my toe into presenting the way I felt, right before I started coming out to people. Rusty is unapologetic about who they are and it gave me something to be encouraged by. It sounds dumb, but I went, if some asshole gave me shit about Rusty’s pronouns or their appearance, wouldn’t I defend them? And wouldn’t they defend themselves? So I should be able to defend myself too. Same with, “they saw in themselves a person they didn’t like and resolved to change it. Bad things they may have done in the past do not make them a bad person in the present, because they have put in the labor to become a better version of themself.” They are sort of a personal physical ideal - the build, facial hair, body hair, chest size etc that I would ask for if the Testosterone Fairy told me I could wish for anything. I love them because I needed a part of myself to love, because I am very, very bad at it.

[originalstoryelement-blog]

Chapter IV: Twisted Reality

Jasper continues out into the courtyard, searching for his new acquaintances. As he searches, he  manages to get a good look at the campus and the students within. The courtyard is of decent size, as is the campus itself. It appears as though this “school” was once an actual college. There are tables with benches outside, vending machines, trees, it’s well taken care of. Appears well funded as well, though where the money would be coming from remains a mystery.

The students themselves seem somewhat out of place in this setting. The new students such as Jasper and the others he met are all in standard clothing, t shirts, dresses, hoodies, casual wear. On the other hand, the students that seem to know their way around are dressed in what appears to be leather armor, straps around the chest, braces on the forearms, they look as though they are preparing to go into battle. 

One of these upperclassmen walks up to Jasper and thumps him on the shoulder.

“You a new student, right?” He can’t be much older than Jasper, but is more built and a bit taller than him. He has short, light brown hair and brown eyes.

“Uh, yeah.” Jasper replies.

“Thought so! So that means you just got out of your Entry to Magic class! What kind of mage are you?”

Jasper looks at him quizzically.

“Mage? Magic user? What's your element?”

“Oh. Uh, water?”

“Are you asking me or telling me, friend? Nice. Mine’s Body. Physical stuff. Chakra, Chi, and junk. Name’s Byron. You?” He holds out his hand.

“Jasper.” He takes it with slight hesitation. “So what do you mean sparring?”

“They’re going to teach you how to actually fight. No magic. Not going to last long against monsters if you try to just use magic all the time, you’ll bleed to death out of your nose.”

“Monsters!? What do you mean monsters???” 

Byron laughs. “Oh, that’s right, you haven’t gotten there yet. Don’t worry, I won’t spoil, but you should know by the end of the day. Well, I gotta bounce. Hope to see you around, friend.” And with that, he leaves Jasper, who looks more confused than ever, and admittedly, a little frightened. 

“Hey, Jasper!”

It’s Felix, waving at him over by a tree. He comes up to Jasper, looking excited. 

“Dude, just got out of my Geomancy class. I can move rocks and stuff without touching them!”

“Nice.” Jasper says plainly, his mind still elsewhere.

“You alright, man?”

Deciding not to potentially frighten his new acquaintance, he decides against saying.

“Yeah, I’m fine.” He says dismissively. “I’m just still processing.”

“Same here. It’s so much to take in. I can’t help feeling like I’m going to wake up any minute now.”

“Anyway,” Jasper starts. “Where are the others? I heard we’re learning how to spar next.”

“Nice. I haven’t seen them. They may have already been heading over there.”

Upon scanning the surrounding area, Jasper notices a staff member dressed completely in what appears to be leather armor holding a sign. It reads ‘ALL FRESHMEN GATHER HERE’.Sure enough, the newer students start to gather around him.

“Alright, everyone.” He begins, his voice powerful and deep. “We’re about to begin our first lesson in sparring. Follow me back to the gym and we’ll begin.”

The students form a line behind him as he starts towards the gym. The inside is now covered with what look like wrestling mats and the walls are lined with long wooden poles.

A few of the older students remain from the previous class, all lined up against the wall at the back of the gym. Getting a better look at him, the man is fairly tall, at least 6′5, and thickly built. He is dark skinned with black hair and brown eyes. 

“My name is Mr. Page and I will be your sparring teacher. Before we begin, I want to let you all in on a little secret.”

The man walks to the center of the gym, turning to the students that followed him.

“This may be difficult to believe, but I assure you, every word that I am about to tell you is the truth.” The students are all silent, their attention on him and him alone. The silence is deafening.

“You have all just learned that you are what we call Mages. You possess abilities that normal people do not possess. This is not the strangest thing you will learn today. Mages are not the only magic creatures living on this Earth.”

He takes a breath, allowing the students to catch up, then continues.

“There are monsters that exist in this world. You may have heard of them through stories or movies, which are loosely based on fact. It is the job of Mages to keep these monsters from causing havoc and to keep the balance-”

“So if these monsters really exist,” interrupts one student. “How come we’ve never heard of them? Or seen them?”

Mr. Page looks at the student, smiles, and says simply “You’re welcome.”

“What kind of monsters are we talking about?” Asks another student.

“Creatures like Vampires,Werewolves, Faeries, Demons, Angels-”

“Angels?” Asks a disbelieving voice. “You’re saying we have to kill Angels? Aren’t Angels good?”

“Oh, honey, upon meeting one, you’ll wish they were. I’m not saying all of these creatures are evil, however. We only hunt the ones causing problems and disrupting the natural balance.”

The class is silent once again.

“I will teach you how to fight with your body as well as your mind. Magic can only take you so far. You do have limits, as you are still partially human.”

“Partially human!?” 

“Yes,” Mr Page says. “Mages are mostly human, but we share similar blood to the monsters we fight.”

The air feels dense with a mixture of skepticism and fear.

“Now, let’s get started. everyone, grab a weapon and suit up.” He points towards a rack of wooden poles and suits of leather armor. 

Jasper is uneasy as he grabs his weapon and puts on his armor. He tests his range of mobility. It feels natural. 

“Before we start,” Mr Page begins. “Allow me to present a demonstration. Damian! To me!”

One of the students at the back of the room comes up to him. He is a little taller than Jasper, pale with long dark hair and cold, grey eyes. He and Mr Page stand opposite each other in the center of the room, each with their weapon in hand. The mentor takes a low stance, focused on standing ground and strengthening his core. Damian stands relaxed, with the pole fully extended towards his foe. 

On the whistle, Damian lunges. He strikes without hesitation, almost too fast to keep up with. Too preoccupied with blocking his opponent’s blows, the mentor has no opportunity to strike. With one swift motion, Damian clashes his weapon against his opponent’s, using this opportunity, he uses the momentum to throw himself behind his foe, his pole now against Mr Page’s neck.

They step back from each other, Mr Page visibly sweating, Damian panting only slightly.

“Damian here is one of our best fighters. This is because he actively practiced and devoted time to becoming better. I hope to see you all do the same.”

He has the students split into pairs and teaches the basics of stances. Jasper is paired with a tan skinned girl with brown hair, about his age. Neither of them speak much. She stands opposite him and points her weapon at him.

“Ready?”

Jasper nervously nods and the two clash.

[wrestlingisfake]

G1 Climax finals preview

Saturday night!  Sunday morning!  2am Eastern!  Watch it on demand tomorrow afternoon!  Or go to bed early and set your alarm to catch the end of it.  Or be like Shawn Michaels with that intern and stay UP! ALL! NIGHT!

Oh, and if you’ve been hearing about the G1 for the last month, don’t think it’s too late to get into it.  This is not some prestige nerd show where the finale won’t make sense if you didn’t watch the last 18 episodes.  All the backstory was cool and all but it’s in the past, and all that matters now is the present, brother.  You don’t have to be a super-dork like me and watch the whole thing.

However, for the benefit of super-dorks, I gotta put the entire card under a cut because I don’t want to spoil last night’s show (it was good).

Tetsuya Naito vs. Kenny Omega - This is the final match of this year’s G1 Climax tournament, between the winners of A Block and B Block.  There is no time limit and there must be a winner.  Aside from a trophy and an oversize novelty check, the winner of the G1 receives a briefcase containing a contract for an IWGP heavyweight title match in the main event of Wrestle Kingdom, the big Tokyo Dome show on January 4.  (Omega is the IWGP US champion, but the title is not at stake here.)

Naito won the G1 Climax in 2013, but he infamously faced backlash from fans who didn’t accept his push, and his title match with Kazuchika Okada was actually bumped to second billing (it was put to a vote and fans picked Hiroshi Tanahashi vs. Shinsuke Nakamura for some crazy reason).  The bad feelings over that formed the basis of Naito’s slow turn to a heel character that is too chill (tranquilo, 焦んなよ) to give a shit what the fans think or whether his opponent is pissed off that he’s stalling.  That got so hot that he’s essentially a tweener now, with more face heat from being a super-dick than he ever got in 2013.  If he wins here and goes on to face Okada for the title, this time ain’t nobody votin’ him out of nothin’.

Omega won last year’s G1, becoming the first non-Japanese guy to do so.  It’s only been 20 months since he took over the spot AJ Styles left behind, but in that time he’s reshaped both Bullet Club and the role of evil Westerner in his image.  Omega, of course, took his G1 briefcase to Wrestle Kingdom 11 and started an epic rivalry with Okada, and there’s a lot of hype to see the fourth chapter at Wrestle Kingdom 12.  Of course, there was a lot of hype to see Omega vs. Kota Ibushi here in this match, and that didn’t happen, so don’t count on New Japan not to dick with your dreams.

It’s unusual for the leaders of heel factions to face off at all, let alone one-on-one, so the last time Omega and Naito wrestled was a year ago in the G1 B Block finals.  That may have been the best match of the tournament (if not all of 2016), and this time both guys don’t have to save anything for tomorrow.  The only real plot point here is that both guys are fucking exhausted--Naito reportedly has a legit shoulder issue, and Omega has been selling injuries that may or may not be based on actual ones.  I feel like it evens out to a fair fight, but expect to see them wrestling more like wounded animals than fresh fighters at their athletic peak.

Either guy could win.  In my heart of hearts I think Omega should go on to win the title from Okada in the Tokyo Dome, but I have to admit nothing would be more appropriate than Naito disrupting somebody else’s epic push.  In terms of long-range booking, the big issue is that Kenny has a very full plate, between chasing Okada, leading the US expansion, teasing a Bullet Club civil war with Cody Rhodes, and defending the US championship.  Naito, in contrast, doesn’t have a clear direction; he could go after the intercontinental championship again, but it’d just be a repeat of his last run with it. 

My gut says that in a perfect world--where New Japan’s US plans work out--Omega leaves the world title behind to be the ace of the US brand, while Naito and Okada become the Big Two of the domestic market.  That may not be how 2018 actually pans out, but it feels like that’s what NJPW is shooting for today.  So I’d probably lose money on it, but I’m betting on Naito.

Kazuchika Okada & Tomohiro Ishii & Toru Yano & Gedo vs. EVIL & SANADA & BUSHI & Hiromu Takahashi - One of the key storylines coming out of the G1 is that Evil scored a win over Okada, so until things are settled with Omega and Naito he’s the logical #1 contender.  This match should play that up, along with possibly some direction for Evil/Sanada/Bushi and the NEVER trios championship.  Okada looked like he got killed to death last night so he probably needs to get a win here, but I bet it won’t be too painless.

Hiroshi Tanahashi & Kota Ibushi & Michael Elgin vs. Minoru Suzuki & Zack Sabre, Jr. & Takashi Iizuka - During the tournament intercontinental champion Tanahashi was pinned by Ibushi and Sabre, and NEVER champion Suzuki was pinned by Elgin, so we’ll probably see some teases of those potential title matches.  Suzuki just suffered a pretty humiliating loss to Toru Yano so I expect they’ll make it up him with a win.

Hanson & Raymond Rowe vs. Cody Rhodes & Hangman Page - War Machine is defending the IWGP heavyweight tag team title.  They won the belts from Bullet Club’s Tama Tonga and Tanga Loa back in the US tour, so now they’re facing two other Bullet Club guys. 

The Cody/Page team is interesting in that you’ve got the ROH world champion (who is a fairly big deal in NJPW) with a glorified curtain jerker.  One-on-one Cody would be the heavy favorite against either guy from War Machine, so the question will be whether that’s enough to win with literally any random-ass warm body for a partner.  My guess is no.  War Machine retains.  (Here is the awesome War Machine theme so you can listen to it when they probably won’t play it at the show.)

Nick Jackson & Matt Jackson vs. Ricochet & Ryusuke Taguchi - Ricochet challenged the Young Bucks for the IWGP junior heavyweight tag title back in the US tour.  (The Bucks are also the ROH tag champions and the self-proclaimed “superkick tag team champions,” but none of that matters here.)

The recent history of the junior tag belts has been a seemingly endless circle jerk between the Bucks, Rocky Romero/Trent Beretta, and Ricochet/Matt Sydal, and I was pretty sick of it.  But with Sydal turfed out last year and Beretta switching to heavyweight, New Japan is finally forced to go in some other direction, even if it is just “Ricochet gets a new partner.”  At the very least, Taguchi’s weird comedy nonsense and butt-related offense make him totally different from all the aforementioned flippy dudes.

I never expect the Bucks to lose because they’re so key to the NJPW/ROH/Hot Topic machine, but honestly they do lose quite a bit (if only to win the belts back later), so you never know.

Juice Robinson & Satoshi Kojima & Hiroyoshi Tenzan vs. Bad Luck Fale & Yujiro Takahashi & Chase Owens - Juice is riding high after his win over Omega but he’s not going to be able to do much about it for a while, so he’s stuck fighting Bullet Club in the undercard.  I’d put him over to keep his momentum going, but they might want to do that with Fale too.

Hirooki Goto & YOSHI-HASHI vs. Togi Makabe & David Finlay - Not even sort of a story here, just three guys who didn’t do so great in the tournament and one jobber who wasn’t in it.  I’m picking Goto and Yoshi to win.

Yuji Nagata & Manabu Nakanishi vs. Tama Tonga & Tanga Loa - Nagata just had his last G1 tournament match, so now it’s time for his last match of the tour.  I’m hoping for a win, but the Guerillas of Destiny are kind of a big deal in the heavyweight tag division and probably shouldn’t be doing a job like this.  So it’s a real toss-up.

KUSHIDA & Jushin Thunder Liger & Tiger Mask & Hirai Kawato vs. TAKA Michinoku & Taichi & El Desperado & Yoshinobu Kanemaru - This is a straight-up rematch from the night before.  I missed that match but I gather the Suzuki-gun juniors beat up Kushida and stole his belt, and I haven’t heard he got it back.  Sounds like payback is coming.

[samanthasroberts]

5 Awesome Game Sequels That Were Screwed Over & Canned

Death, taxes, and AAA video game sequels: the only inevitable things in this world. If we didn’t get a new Call Of Duty or Assassin’s Creed this year, we would take it as an omen of Ragnarok — which is why it’s all the more tragic that some of the best potential sequels ever envisioned will never come to pass. Like …

#5. Fallout Online Got Lost In A Legal Quagmire

Long before Fallout 4 brought the mighty porn industry to its knees, pun remorselessly intended, the Fallout games put a lot more emphasis on the role-playing side of things, giving you a birds-eye view of a game that looks like it could be run with the processing power of an unusually large potato.

Not even an Idaho one — more like a Wisconsin-grown potato.

The early Fallout games were considered some of the finest RPGs ever made. But in 2007, Interplay, its creator, sold the franchise to Bethesda Softworks, the company of 10,000 artists and three voice actors. Part of the deal was that Interplay got to keep the rights to develop an MMO based on Fallout — think World Of Warcraft, but with super mutants instead of orcs.

A huge improvement on the sexiness scale.

This wasn’t just a pipe dream — large chunks of the map had been developed, the guts of the gameplay were functional, scenarios had been written, players had the ability to create and run their own towns, and Interplay had developed a “game-worldwide meta-puzzle,” where the entire player base would have to come together to solve an elaborate mystery that spanned the apocalypse. Basically, you know how all your friends won’t shut up about their Fallout 4 adventures? Fallout Online would have allowed you to have those adventures together, although it also would have vastly increased the likelihood of employers across the country seeing through your fake illness when you inadvertently grouped up with them.

The Stupid Reason It Was Cancelled:

That deal we mentioned? It came with the condition that Interplay had to start getting serious about working on Fallout Online by 2009. All those words we just said up there implied that they had, but Bethesda disagreed and took Interplay to court. Long and complicated story short, Bethesda lost more decisions than the Washington Generals, but eventually managed to settle out of court, giving Interplay 2 million bucks and permission to continue developing their game — as long as they stripped every mention of “Fallout” from it.

Their knock-off Nuka-Cola would have been nothing but raw sewage and carbonated Brahmin blood … So, Pepsi.

Definitely Not Fallout Online was then handed over to another developer who ran a crowdfunding campaign to rustle up even more money, after which they, uh, vanished from the face of the Earth, taking every hope of a Fallout MMO with them (and also the money of all those loyal fans).

Dickheads? Dickheads never change.

#4. A Completed Star Fox 2 Was Canned Because Of The Console Wars

Star Fox, the game that birthed a generation of furries, and Star Fox 64, the game that birthed a generation of frog-hating barrel roll enthusiasts, are both universally regarded as classic Nintendo games that look like the aftermath of a drunken polygon party by today’s standards. But another game was supposed to have come out in-between them, appropriately titled Star Fox 2. And it looked pretty damn good …

Instead of just being a linear series of ship battles, Star Fox 2 would have had you flying around the solar system to contain an invasion force. You had to pick your battles, defend your home planet from missiles, and retreat from fights to dive into others that needed you more, adding strategy and exploration to a game whose only weak point was its on-rails nature. There was also a multiplayer duel option, and the Star Fox team would have expanded to include a tomboy lynx and a fashionable poodle girl. And we think everyone can agree that the male-dominated Star Fox team needed some ladies to balance out the space combat gender gap and help guide some animal-loving players through a very special time in their lives.

Someone’s about to make a Slippy in their pants.

Once you tear your eyes away, you may start wondering why basically everything is known about a game that got the ax. Well, the game was all finished and set to be released in the summer of 1995 until it was abruptly cancelled, which is like watching your mom pull a fresh batch of chocolate-chip cookies out of the oven, only to dump them in the garbage bin and cover them with cat vomit.

The Stupid Reason It Was Cancelled:

Star Fox 2 was all set to be a hit, partially because Nintendo in the ’90s could have slapped their name on a box of venomous centipedes and still sold a million copies. But, the Nintendo 64 was about to come out, and Nintendo wanted a clean break between the Super Nintendo’s two dimensions and the N64’s bold new future of one more than that.

A strategy that never, ever bit them in the ass. Ever.

Also, the Sega Saturn and Sony PlayStation had just come out, and Nintendo was worried that their newfangled 3D games would make Star Fox 2 look shitty and old-fashioned by comparison, regardless of how fun it was. And so they pulled the plug, losing money and scuttling a couple years of hard work because graphics were more important than gameplay, even in an era when every 3D game you played made you feel like you had cyber-glaucoma.

Rats, in this case, being Nintendo’s accountants.

#3. Fez 2 Became The Casualty Of A Twitter Spat

Indie game Fez, whose tumultuous five-year development earned its own Wikipedia page, was primarily powered by designer Phil Fish, who was quite outspoken about how game design may not always be kitten snuggles and rainbows. But, Fez overcame long odds to sell more than a million copies and become highly regarded as an ingenious platforming puzzle game. A sequel seemed inevitable, and, sure enough, along came a teaser video with suitably epic music …

… and then Fish canned the game a month after announcing it, to the complete shock of everyone who wasn’t named Phil Fish.

The Stupid Reason It Was Cancelled:

When Fish refused to comment on Microsoft’s new Xbox One indie game development policies, obscure gaming journalist Marcus Beer decided that this was an egregious affront against humanity. Beer said Fish was “bitching and moaning” about having to answer media questions. He also called Fish a “fucking asshole,” a “fucking hipster,” and a “tosspot,” which we’re pretty sure is British for something along the lines of “not a great dude.” Fish responded on Twitter in the most mature and responsible way that platform allows: by telling Beer to go kill himself.

Yet another stupid fight started with Beer consumption.

When the dust settled, Fish declared, “I fucking hate this industry,” cancelled the game, announced his exit from game development, and took his ball home.

Leaving disappointed fans to tell him where he could put it.

Fish later clarified that the cancellation of Fez 2 wasn’t “due to any one thing,” implying that Beer’s comments were simply the straw that broke the fish’s back.

… said the boorish fuck.

But, regardless of other contributing factors, it was a stupid Twitter spat that ultimately killed the game. Seriously, social media, is there anything you don’t ruin?

#2. A Mario Volleyball Game Was Cancelled For Violating A Vague Honor Code

Mario is one of the greatest athletes to ever fictionally exist. From golf, tennis, and go-karting to baseball, basketball, and more, he has mastered countless sports, despite looking like his favorite is amateur hot dog eating. So, when Next Level Gamers started working on a Mario volleyball game with the premise of “Hey, Mario hasn’t played volleyball yet,” they must have felt pretty good about their odds of success — especially since they had already made their mark with two Super Mario Strikers games that were praised for combining the tedium of soccer with the physics of Space Jam.

At least it gives Waluigi something to do in between bouts of never doing anything.

Then, they threw in elements of professional wrestling and game shows to make the weirdest hybrid this side of a stoner’s kitchen. Nintendo’s beloved characters were going to spike balls into faces and pile-drive each other into the floors of electrified rings in the insane genre mash-up you never knew you wanted. At best, it would have been a glorious, surreal combination of ideas that monopolized your weekends like so many go-kart races and tennis matches before it. And, at worst, it would have provided fleeting amusement before your inevitable demise, which is all we can really ask of a video game.

It honestly makes about as much sense as actual wrestling, so why not?

The Stupid Reason It Was Cancelled:

Nintendo felt that “certain aspects of [the game’s] premise clashed with the company’s code of honor,” because Nintendo apparently operates under the same principles as the French Foreign Legion. Just what Nintendo meant is vague, but we do know that they were uncomfortable with the level of violence in the game and considered it “dishonorable” to be able to hit characters that were already down. Behold the incredible, stomach-churning combat that Nintendo found unsettling:

What happened to wholesome entertainment, like ripping turtles out of their shells and slowly digesting Goombas alive?

Their objections mostly just raise further questions, considering one of their most successful franchises is all about having their most popular characters mercilessly pummel the absolute shit out of each other. Maybe volleyball is just really unpopular in Japan. Or, maybe the video game industry is terrifyingly arbitrary, and it’s a wonder anything ever gets made at all. Or, maybe both!

#1. Silent Hills Was Cancelled Because Konami Thinks Mobile Gaming Is The Future

Doubly so if they included an alternate skin of his fashion model days.

The hype train gained further steam with the release of P.T., a playable teaser (oooh, we just got that), where you stroll through the same hallway repeatedly and watch your home slowly get more and more horrifying.

Home Alone took a dark turn once Kevin found Buzz’s stash of mushrooms.

There was no combat, almost no dialogue, a simple plot, and little interaction beyond discovering what fucked-up thing was now in your bathroom. And it was still widely considered one of the best horror games of the year. That’s like a movie trailer beating actual movies for the Best Picture Oscar. It was a legitimately terrifying experience and, if the full game was able to match its intensity, it would have been an instant classic.

“Mrs. Robinson, you’re trying to devour my flesh and feast on my soul.”

And then it was cancelled, the ability to download P.T. was removed, and developer Konami is now hunting down anyone who still references its existence and sending them to re-education camps. Run! Save yourself, before it’s too late!

The Stupid Reason It Was Cancelled:

Konami thinks traditional games just aren’t worth the effort anymore. This is the Silent Hill game they decided to make instead.

Yes, that’s a Silent Hill-themed slot machine set to music that’s rocking junior high schools across Midwest America. We completely understand if you need a minute for the tears to stop. Konami actually makes more money from their casino games than they do from video games, and they think mobile games represent the only profitable future in the latter department.

Three Pyramid Heads nets you 50,000 points and your grandma’s head on a pike.

OK, so it’s a cold yet rational business decision. Disappointing, but understandable. But, wait a second — Metal Gear Solid V, a game that was anticipated as much as Silent Hills, made more money in its opening weekend than Jurassic World and Avengers: Age Of Ultron. Combined. It’s a massive hit, leaving Konami’s logic inscrutable. Between deciding they don’t like making games anymore, cutting ties with long-time collaborator Kojima, and making Del Toro say that he’ll never work on a video game again, it’s like Konami’s having a midlife crisis where they quit their job, divorce their spouse, alienate their friends, and hit the open road on a brand-new type of motorcycle that runs solely on spite.

Ready to see the kind of shit we got instead? Then check out Seanbaby’s The 20 Worst NES Games Of All-Time and The 6 Worst Games Ever Farted Out By Beloved Franchises.

Source: http://allofbeer.com/5-awesome-game-sequels-that-were-screwed-over-canned-2/

from All of Beer https://allofbeer.wordpress.com/2018/07/25/5-awesome-game-sequels-that-were-screwed-over-canned-2/

[allofbeercom]

5 Awesome Game Sequels That Were Screwed Over & Canned

Death, taxes, and AAA video game sequels: the only inevitable things in this world. If we didn’t get a new Call Of Duty or Assassin’s Creed this year, we would take it as an omen of Ragnarok — which is why it’s all the more tragic that some of the best potential sequels ever envisioned will never come to pass. Like …

#5. Fallout Online Got Lost In A Legal Quagmire

Long before Fallout 4 brought the mighty porn industry to its knees, pun remorselessly intended, the Fallout games put a lot more emphasis on the role-playing side of things, giving you a birds-eye view of a game that looks like it could be run with the processing power of an unusually large potato.

Not even an Idaho one — more like a Wisconsin-grown potato.

The early Fallout games were considered some of the finest RPGs ever made. But in 2007, Interplay, its creator, sold the franchise to Bethesda Softworks, the company of 10,000 artists and three voice actors. Part of the deal was that Interplay got to keep the rights to develop an MMO based on Fallout — think World Of Warcraft, but with super mutants instead of orcs.

A huge improvement on the sexiness scale.

This wasn’t just a pipe dream — large chunks of the map had been developed, the guts of the gameplay were functional, scenarios had been written, players had the ability to create and run their own towns, and Interplay had developed a “game-worldwide meta-puzzle,” where the entire player base would have to come together to solve an elaborate mystery that spanned the apocalypse. Basically, you know how all your friends won’t shut up about their Fallout 4 adventures? Fallout Online would have allowed you to have those adventures together, although it also would have vastly increased the likelihood of employers across the country seeing through your fake illness when you inadvertently grouped up with them.

The Stupid Reason It Was Cancelled:

That deal we mentioned? It came with the condition that Interplay had to start getting serious about working on Fallout Online by 2009. All those words we just said up there implied that they had, but Bethesda disagreed and took Interplay to court. Long and complicated story short, Bethesda lost more decisions than the Washington Generals, but eventually managed to settle out of court, giving Interplay 2 million bucks and permission to continue developing their game — as long as they stripped every mention of “Fallout” from it.

Their knock-off Nuka-Cola would have been nothing but raw sewage and carbonated Brahmin blood … So, Pepsi.

Definitely Not Fallout Online was then handed over to another developer who ran a crowdfunding campaign to rustle up even more money, after which they, uh, vanished from the face of the Earth, taking every hope of a Fallout MMO with them (and also the money of all those loyal fans).

Dickheads? Dickheads never change.

#4. A Completed Star Fox 2 Was Canned Because Of The Console Wars

Star Fox, the game that birthed a generation of furries, and Star Fox 64, the game that birthed a generation of frog-hating barrel roll enthusiasts, are both universally regarded as classic Nintendo games that look like the aftermath of a drunken polygon party by today’s standards. But another game was supposed to have come out in-between them, appropriately titled Star Fox 2. And it looked pretty damn good …

Instead of just being a linear series of ship battles, Star Fox 2 would have had you flying around the solar system to contain an invasion force. You had to pick your battles, defend your home planet from missiles, and retreat from fights to dive into others that needed you more, adding strategy and exploration to a game whose only weak point was its on-rails nature. There was also a multiplayer duel option, and the Star Fox team would have expanded to include a tomboy lynx and a fashionable poodle girl. And we think everyone can agree that the male-dominated Star Fox team needed some ladies to balance out the space combat gender gap and help guide some animal-loving players through a very special time in their lives.

Someone’s about to make a Slippy in their pants.

Once you tear your eyes away, you may start wondering why basically everything is known about a game that got the ax. Well, the game was all finished and set to be released in the summer of 1995 until it was abruptly cancelled, which is like watching your mom pull a fresh batch of chocolate-chip cookies out of the oven, only to dump them in the garbage bin and cover them with cat vomit.

The Stupid Reason It Was Cancelled:

Star Fox 2 was all set to be a hit, partially because Nintendo in the ’90s could have slapped their name on a box of venomous centipedes and still sold a million copies. But, the Nintendo 64 was about to come out, and Nintendo wanted a clean break between the Super Nintendo’s two dimensions and the N64’s bold new future of one more than that.

A strategy that never, ever bit them in the ass. Ever.

Also, the Sega Saturn and Sony PlayStation had just come out, and Nintendo was worried that their newfangled 3D games would make Star Fox 2 look shitty and old-fashioned by comparison, regardless of how fun it was. And so they pulled the plug, losing money and scuttling a couple years of hard work because graphics were more important than gameplay, even in an era when every 3D game you played made you feel like you had cyber-glaucoma.

Rats, in this case, being Nintendo’s accountants.

#3. Fez 2 Became The Casualty Of A Twitter Spat

Indie game Fez, whose tumultuous five-year development earned its own Wikipedia page, was primarily powered by designer Phil Fish, who was quite outspoken about how game design may not always be kitten snuggles and rainbows. But, Fez overcame long odds to sell more than a million copies and become highly regarded as an ingenious platforming puzzle game. A sequel seemed inevitable, and, sure enough, along came a teaser video with suitably epic music …

… and then Fish canned the game a month after announcing it, to the complete shock of everyone who wasn’t named Phil Fish.

The Stupid Reason It Was Cancelled:

When Fish refused to comment on Microsoft’s new Xbox One indie game development policies, obscure gaming journalist Marcus Beer decided that this was an egregious affront against humanity. Beer said Fish was “bitching and moaning” about having to answer media questions. He also called Fish a “fucking asshole,” a “fucking hipster,” and a “tosspot,” which we’re pretty sure is British for something along the lines of “not a great dude.” Fish responded on Twitter in the most mature and responsible way that platform allows: by telling Beer to go kill himself.

Yet another stupid fight started with Beer consumption.

When the dust settled, Fish declared, “I fucking hate this industry,” cancelled the game, announced his exit from game development, and took his ball home.

Leaving disappointed fans to tell him where he could put it.

Fish later clarified that the cancellation of Fez 2 wasn’t “due to any one thing,” implying that Beer’s comments were simply the straw that broke the fish’s back.

… said the boorish fuck.

But, regardless of other contributing factors, it was a stupid Twitter spat that ultimately killed the game. Seriously, social media, is there anything you don’t ruin?

#2. A Mario Volleyball Game Was Cancelled For Violating A Vague Honor Code

Mario is one of the greatest athletes to ever fictionally exist. From golf, tennis, and go-karting to baseball, basketball, and more, he has mastered countless sports, despite looking like his favorite is amateur hot dog eating. So, when Next Level Gamers started working on a Mario volleyball game with the premise of “Hey, Mario hasn’t played volleyball yet,” they must have felt pretty good about their odds of success — especially since they had already made their mark with two Super Mario Strikers games that were praised for combining the tedium of soccer with the physics of Space Jam.

At least it gives Waluigi something to do in between bouts of never doing anything.

Then, they threw in elements of professional wrestling and game shows to make the weirdest hybrid this side of a stoner’s kitchen. Nintendo’s beloved characters were going to spike balls into faces and pile-drive each other into the floors of electrified rings in the insane genre mash-up you never knew you wanted. At best, it would have been a glorious, surreal combination of ideas that monopolized your weekends like so many go-kart races and tennis matches before it. And, at worst, it would have provided fleeting amusement before your inevitable demise, which is all we can really ask of a video game.

It honestly makes about as much sense as actual wrestling, so why not?

The Stupid Reason It Was Cancelled:

Nintendo felt that “certain aspects of [the game’s] premise clashed with the company’s code of honor,” because Nintendo apparently operates under the same principles as the French Foreign Legion. Just what Nintendo meant is vague, but we do know that they were uncomfortable with the level of violence in the game and considered it “dishonorable” to be able to hit characters that were already down. Behold the incredible, stomach-churning combat that Nintendo found unsettling:

What happened to wholesome entertainment, like ripping turtles out of their shells and slowly digesting Goombas alive?

Their objections mostly just raise further questions, considering one of their most successful franchises is all about having their most popular characters mercilessly pummel the absolute shit out of each other. Maybe volleyball is just really unpopular in Japan. Or, maybe the video game industry is terrifyingly arbitrary, and it’s a wonder anything ever gets made at all. Or, maybe both!

#1. Silent Hills Was Cancelled Because Konami Thinks Mobile Gaming Is The Future

Doubly so if they included an alternate skin of his fashion model days.

The hype train gained further steam with the release of P.T., a playable teaser (oooh, we just got that), where you stroll through the same hallway repeatedly and watch your home slowly get more and more horrifying.

Home Alone took a dark turn once Kevin found Buzz’s stash of mushrooms.

There was no combat, almost no dialogue, a simple plot, and little interaction beyond discovering what fucked-up thing was now in your bathroom. And it was still widely considered one of the best horror games of the year. That’s like a movie trailer beating actual movies for the Best Picture Oscar. It was a legitimately terrifying experience and, if the full game was able to match its intensity, it would have been an instant classic.

“Mrs. Robinson, you’re trying to devour my flesh and feast on my soul.”

And then it was cancelled, the ability to download P.T. was removed, and developer Konami is now hunting down anyone who still references its existence and sending them to re-education camps. Run! Save yourself, before it’s too late!

The Stupid Reason It Was Cancelled:

Konami thinks traditional games just aren’t worth the effort anymore. This is the Silent Hill game they decided to make instead.

Yes, that’s a Silent Hill-themed slot machine set to music that’s rocking junior high schools across Midwest America. We completely understand if you need a minute for the tears to stop. Konami actually makes more money from their casino games than they do from video games, and they think mobile games represent the only profitable future in the latter department.

Three Pyramid Heads nets you 50,000 points and your grandma’s head on a pike.

OK, so it’s a cold yet rational business decision. Disappointing, but understandable. But, wait a second — Metal Gear Solid V, a game that was anticipated as much as Silent Hills, made more money in its opening weekend than Jurassic World and Avengers: Age Of Ultron. Combined. It’s a massive hit, leaving Konami’s logic inscrutable. Between deciding they don’t like making games anymore, cutting ties with long-time collaborator Kojima, and making Del Toro say that he’ll never work on a video game again, it’s like Konami’s having a midlife crisis where they quit their job, divorce their spouse, alienate their friends, and hit the open road on a brand-new type of motorcycle that runs solely on spite.

Ready to see the kind of shit we got instead? Then check out Seanbaby’s The 20 Worst NES Games Of All-Time and The 6 Worst Games Ever Farted Out By Beloved Franchises.

from All Of Beer http://allofbeer.com/5-awesome-game-sequels-that-were-screwed-over-canned-2/

[ryanonwrasslin-blog]

The Wrestling Optimist - March 9, 2017

For those newbies, this is my first in what I anticipate becoming roughly a weekly edition of my thoughts, from a mostly optimistic viewpoint, on the wonderful world of professional wrestling. I'm working my hardest to stop being such a miserable smark, and this column is my best effort at both keeping myself honest and funneling out the various thoughts I have on wrestling. For the most part, this will be a WWE-themed piece every week, and it's still evolving, but for now I think I've found a solid format. Also, I typically intend for this to be a weekly column, but I was excited to try it out after Fast Lane (and really put my efforts at optimism to their most extreme test), so this particular column will only cover Raw, Smackdown Live, Talking Smack, 205 Live, and NXT.

Theme of the Week: We really are in the fast lane to Mania. The PPV may have left a lot of people a little displeased, but I think Raw and SDL did a nice job this week of building to the Jaws-like creature lurking in our midst, the reportedly 6.5 hour Wrestlemania now less than a month away. On Raw we got Y2J vs. KO, and the Women's Triple Threat officially booked, set up a possible Cruiserweight title match, while also getting Lesnar vs. Goldberg hyped, and Reigns vs. Taker hinted at with the subtlety of one of the Big Dog's Superman Punches. And the inevitable pre-show Tag title match will get clarity next week. That's an awful lot of productivity even for 3 hours.

Smackdown Live, not to be outdone, settled on Wyatt vs. Orton officially, made an intriguing Women's Championship free-for-all, kept the build on for the Mixed Tag, set conspiracy theory AJ Styles loose on Shane O'Mac, and hinted that we're going to get a hardcore type of Intercontinental Title match between Corbin and Ambrose.

The Mania card is now starkly visible, with the unknowns being whatever is happening with the Triple H/ Seth Rollins/ Samoa Joe/ Sami Zayn/ maybe Finn Balor storyline, whether Big Show vs. Shaq happens, how the poor SDL Tag division will be handled, which undercard guys will fill out the AMBAR, and then designating a few of these as pre-show.

For my own druthers, I mostly don't care how the card order stacks up, but I'm going to lose it if the Smackdown women end up on the Pre-Show as I fear they might. My girls Becky and Alexa deserve better than that.

10 Best Moments of the Week

Teasing the Phenomenal Forearm into the RKO Some day they are going to have Orton hit him with the RKO when going for either the forearm or the 450 and it's going to be the coolest thing since the Curb Stomp RKO, and I'm glad they clearly know how cool that is.

Heyman rushing out to address the CM Punk chants and halt whatever ill-fated improv Goldberg was about to attempt I'm not positive that Heyman was rushed out there early to cut off the Punk chants and prevent Goldberg from saying something that would only make the chants worse, but it certainly looked that way and it was another hilarious reminder of how little WWE can trust Goldberg to do pretty much anything.

The Miz motherfuckin' ETHERS John Cena I have nothing to add to his masterpiece. Go watch the SDL and Talking Smack segments.

FORK YOU! - I loved Baron Corbin pinning Dean Ambrose under a forklift. I'm always in for goofy prop fights, and there's always a place on the card for something like this at Mania. I hope this is how the match goes at Mania, a sometimes goofy, sometimes brutal street fight sort of affair. We know that Ambrose wanted the Mania match with Lesnar to go way too far last year but was rebuffed. Let him try this year with someone young and hungry like the Lone Wolf.

Austin Aries, the hero the Cruiserweight division needs Running Aries as the apparent face against Neville could be a weird fit in the long run, but I was all in for this segment on Raw. Aries is the outsized character the division needs right now to complement all the work Neville is doing and the better ring-work we've started seeing from guys like Tozawa and Swann.

The SAnitY and Dillinger story really comes together I don’t know about everyone else, but seeing Roddy get dragged out beaten half to death by the rest of the group, and seeing Tye and Jose get fired up about it, worked like hell for me. That awkward trio coming together against the heels was lacking something and this helped fill in the storyline, as did EY yelling “YOU DID THIS” at Tye. Good stuff.

As the Smackdown Women's Division Turns Becky gets turned on by a tag partner again (at this point I’m surprised Luke Sanders hasn’t turned on her), and Mickie at last turns on Alexa. Sometimes the easy story is the right one. If Naomi makes it back, she's pretty clearly going to win the title, but if not I really hope they have Becky overcome a whole Rogues gallery of heels to win (throw in Eva Marie and Carmella to really put it over the top). She's been turned on so many times that she needs the perseverance story.

For a night, the Part-Timers were booked well I'm as deeply skeptical as anyone that Raw can get me fully invested in a Lesnar/ Goldberg feud or an Undie/ Strong Roman feud, but credit where it's due, they did an excellent job on Raw this week. Goldberg eating an F5 was long overdue and I honestly wanted to see the whooping get worse.

TJP and Shinsuke dab on each other WWE spent a few headscratching months booking TJP after the Cruiserweight classic, but this was a fun match and felt like the right way to handle him, as a cocky, shitty, sorta heel who also does some seriously cool shit in the ring.

The way AJ Styles says, "Randy Orton burns down a man's house and gets rewarded for it!" I knew AJ was among the best in the ring prior to his WWE run, but his promos have been a wonderful surprise to me. He is a natural on the mic and has a goofy charisma, and for whatever reason I chuckled for a long time after he said this particular line.

Let the Smark Out

For as much as I’m trying to be an optimist, wrestling is not a perfect product. Far from it, really, and when you have problems with something, it’s healthy to let that sort of thing out. So, in the hopes of keeping a 5:1 ratio tilted toward the good side, here are my two complaints of the week:

Are we seriously doing this with Emma again? She was in such a good place as Evil Emma with the half-gloves and the shoulder pads. Given how shallow the Raw Women’s division is, why did they feel the need to screw around with something that was working????

I’ve known for weeks that the Styles/ Shane O’Mac feud was coming, but now that it’s here, it hurts even more. There is obvious proof on the roster in multiple forms that you only get so many Wrestlemania’s out of your top workers (like Balor and Rollins both being potentially on the shelf for this year after not being on last year’s card either). To use up one of those years for Styles, unquestionably the best in-ring performer in the company, and probably the world, is asinine. I know there is no bigger honor in WWE eyes than to fight against a McMahon (and I strongly suspect we’re heading toward either a Bayley or Sasha vs. Stephanie program in the next year), but I have no interest in seeing AJ selling for ol’ Baby Jabs McMahon. 

Let’s Rank Stuff!

One of the best things to do as a wrestling fan is to compare things. Who's on the Mount Rushmore of wrestling? Who was the most over with the crowd? Who's the best in-ring worker? What's the most uncomfortable Attitude Era storyline in retrospect? That's what I'm going to do here every week, pick a topic and rank it as I see it. Feel free to chime in with your own thoughts! I'd love to hear them.

This week's ranking: The Status of the Championship Belts

It's been almost 8 months since the Brand Split, which saw WWE add a whopping 4 title belts to their company (and a fifth in the UK Title even more recently) and with Wrestlemania approaching, I thought now would be a fun time to rank those titles in terms of their current level of prestige. Keep in mind the old adage about the wrestler making the belt, not the other way around. So without further ado, in reverse order:

13. UK Championship - Too young to be any higher. If Pete Dunne gets it, though, this thing could rocket up the list. That dude has incredible potential.

12 US Championship - Man what a precipitous fall. A short 18 months ago, Cena had made this thing into probably the second best belt in the company. But more recently it's been seen being dragged around by a disinterested Roman Reigns like he was worried that touching too much of it might infect him with some terrible disease. The good news is that I can see KO winning this at 'Mania and proudly defending it, not because it represents America or anything, but because KO is convinced anything he has is just the best.

11 Smackdown Tag Team Championships - Another letdown since the brand split. Slater/ Rhyno was fun, but American Alpha is surprisingly struggling right now.

10 Raw Tag Team Championships - The shenanigans required to get New Day to the tag title record didn't help anyone, and now I can't help but view The Club as utterly inconsequential. Tag team wrestling on the main roster is in a bad way right now. Thankfully, there's hope on the horizon if WWE is smart enough to realize it.

9 Cruiserweight Championship - Talk about the wrestler making the belt. Putting this thing on Neville was the step that was badly needed to salvage this belt and the entire division.

8 Smackdown Women's Championship - This division has done wonders in terms of drawing out depth and giving its characters chances, but it's in need of some excellent, or rather Bex-cellent, wrestling and something memorable. I think maybe they missed an opportunity not having Becky and Nikki fight for this at some point. Face vs. Face can be tricky, but these two could have done it, it would have given more prestige to the belt and now rumors are Nikki may be on her way out. That’s a seriously missed opportunity if so.

7 WWE Universal Championship - Yikes. I was closer to putting this thing 8th than moving it higher. It's impressively ugly, KO's title run was consistently neutered, and now Dadberg is drenching it in sweat for the next few weeks before Lesnar takes it from him at Mania and promptly disappears for a few months. If we do this ranking again in June, this belt might be 13th.

6 NXT Women's Championship - Asuka is obviously great and the coming feud with Ember should be a lot of fun, as should Nikki Cross' pursuit, but the belt hasn't kept up with some of the others under the WWE umbrella. From where it was during Sasha/ Bayley, things have slipped a bit in part because no one legitimate has come for Asuka. Yet.

5 NXT Tag Team Championships - Several of the best matches of 2016 were contested for this belt, and honestly I feel like it should be higher. I just couldn't quite bring myself to pull the trigger. That said, there's no shame in being 5th and the sole beacon of light for tag team wrestling in WWE.

4 Raw Women's Championship - I didn't love the hot potato of the belt, same as most people, and I loathe it when WWE starts talking about "making history," but this title is a very important one right now.

3 Intercontinental Championship - This likely would have been number 2 if I'd done this ranking in the fall thanks almost entirely to the Miz. Ambrose has been fine as champ since then thanks to his pedigree as a former WWE Champ, and if they are setting up Baron Corbin to win the title at Mania, that could be a great step toward both making a star and helping keep the belt relevant.

2 NXT Championship - One of the most impressive lineages of any championship belt in wrestling history right now. At times, it probably has surpassed even the WWE Championship itself. I'm curious to see how they handle Bobby Roode's reign after having one indy giant after another hold it for years on end. Obviously Roode is no slouch, but this does feel like an interesting point for the title.

1 WWE Championship - I'm glad they're back to just calling it the WWE Championship. That just sounds so much better than adding any sort of "world" modifier to it. It's the franchise, the belt with all the history behind it, and that WWE itself even clearly tries to pay respect to, and this past year or so has only added to the legacy. Getting AJ Styles' name on the belt was great for everyone, Cena tied the record with it, and now Bray Wyatt, a character that WWE has always viewed as a long-term face of the company, is battling another all-time legend in Randy Orton at Wrestlemania for it. That's great stuff.

Match of the Week

This was supposed to be a column that covered everything after Fast Lane, but I have to give it up one more time for Neville vs. Jack Gallagher. That’s unquestionably the match of the week.

Where Do We Go From Here?

I sketched out a rough idea of the Mania card earlier in the column, but for the next few weeks I’m excited for the build. That’s where these matches are set up for memorable moments and big crowd pops or destined for failure. I covered the Triple H saga in this segment in the Fast Lane column, but I was surprised to see it not get a ton of attention on Raw this week. It’s starting to feel like WWE doesn’t even quite know what to do with it at this point.

If we get through this week’s Raw without some kind of stakes for Mania set for those two and the various other players in their drama, I’m going to start doubting whether the match is actually happening, and if maybe we’ll only get some kind of confrontation only at the show.

The Finisher

Big Show vs. Shaq would be kinda cool if it happens, but if it doesn’t, I hope they do Strowman vs. Show II. Strowman is ready for something more than winning the AMBAR, and Show deserves a reward for getting into such ridiculous shape. Plus, those two had low-key the most surprisingly fun match of 2017 so far, and you could do a lot worse than a ten minute hoss fight at Mania. Make it happen, WWE.

[samanthasroberts]

5 Awesome Game Sequels That Were Screwed Over & Canned

Death, taxes, and AAA video game sequels: the only inevitable things in this world. If we didn’t get a new Call Of Duty or Assassin’s Creed this year, we would take it as an omen of Ragnarok — which is why it’s all the more tragic that some of the best potential sequels ever envisioned will never come to pass. Like …

#5. Fallout Online Got Lost In A Legal Quagmire

Long before Fallout 4 brought the mighty porn industry to its knees, pun remorselessly intended, the Fallout games put a lot more emphasis on the role-playing side of things, giving you a birds-eye view of a game that looks like it could be run with the processing power of an unusually large potato.

Not even an Idaho one — more like a Wisconsin-grown potato.

The early Fallout games were considered some of the finest RPGs ever made. But in 2007, Interplay, its creator, sold the franchise to Bethesda Softworks, the company of 10,000 artists and three voice actors. Part of the deal was that Interplay got to keep the rights to develop an MMO based on Fallout — think World Of Warcraft, but with super mutants instead of orcs.

A huge improvement on the sexiness scale.

This wasn’t just a pipe dream — large chunks of the map had been developed, the guts of the gameplay were functional, scenarios had been written, players had the ability to create and run their own towns, and Interplay had developed a “game-worldwide meta-puzzle,” where the entire player base would have to come together to solve an elaborate mystery that spanned the apocalypse. Basically, you know how all your friends won’t shut up about their Fallout 4 adventures? Fallout Online would have allowed you to have those adventures together, although it also would have vastly increased the likelihood of employers across the country seeing through your fake illness when you inadvertently grouped up with them.

The Stupid Reason It Was Cancelled:

That deal we mentioned? It came with the condition that Interplay had to start getting serious about working on Fallout Online by 2009. All those words we just said up there implied that they had, but Bethesda disagreed and took Interplay to court. Long and complicated story short, Bethesda lost more decisions than the Washington Generals, but eventually managed to settle out of court, giving Interplay 2 million bucks and permission to continue developing their game — as long as they stripped every mention of “Fallout” from it.

Their knock-off Nuka-Cola would have been nothing but raw sewage and carbonated Brahmin blood … So, Pepsi.

Definitely Not Fallout Online was then handed over to another developer who ran a crowdfunding campaign to rustle up even more money, after which they, uh, vanished from the face of the Earth, taking every hope of a Fallout MMO with them (and also the money of all those loyal fans).

Dickheads? Dickheads never change.

#4. A Completed Star Fox 2 Was Canned Because Of The Console Wars

Star Fox, the game that birthed a generation of furries, and Star Fox 64, the game that birthed a generation of frog-hating barrel roll enthusiasts, are both universally regarded as classic Nintendo games that look like the aftermath of a drunken polygon party by today’s standards. But another game was supposed to have come out in-between them, appropriately titled Star Fox 2. And it looked pretty damn good …

Instead of just being a linear series of ship battles, Star Fox 2 would have had you flying around the solar system to contain an invasion force. You had to pick your battles, defend your home planet from missiles, and retreat from fights to dive into others that needed you more, adding strategy and exploration to a game whose only weak point was its on-rails nature. There was also a multiplayer duel option, and the Star Fox team would have expanded to include a tomboy lynx and a fashionable poodle girl. And we think everyone can agree that the male-dominated Star Fox team needed some ladies to balance out the space combat gender gap and help guide some animal-loving players through a very special time in their lives.

Someone’s about to make a Slippy in their pants.

Once you tear your eyes away, you may start wondering why basically everything is known about a game that got the ax. Well, the game was all finished and set to be released in the summer of 1995 until it was abruptly cancelled, which is like watching your mom pull a fresh batch of chocolate-chip cookies out of the oven, only to dump them in the garbage bin and cover them with cat vomit.

The Stupid Reason It Was Cancelled:

Star Fox 2 was all set to be a hit, partially because Nintendo in the ’90s could have slapped their name on a box of venomous centipedes and still sold a million copies. But, the Nintendo 64 was about to come out, and Nintendo wanted a clean break between the Super Nintendo’s two dimensions and the N64’s bold new future of one more than that.

A strategy that never, ever bit them in the ass. Ever.

Also, the Sega Saturn and Sony PlayStation had just come out, and Nintendo was worried that their newfangled 3D games would make Star Fox 2 look shitty and old-fashioned by comparison, regardless of how fun it was. And so they pulled the plug, losing money and scuttling a couple years of hard work because graphics were more important than gameplay, even in an era when every 3D game you played made you feel like you had cyber-glaucoma.

Rats, in this case, being Nintendo’s accountants.

#3. Fez 2 Became The Casualty Of A Twitter Spat

Indie game Fez, whose tumultuous five-year development earned its own Wikipedia page, was primarily powered by designer Phil Fish, who was quite outspoken about how game design may not always be kitten snuggles and rainbows. But, Fez overcame long odds to sell more than a million copies and become highly regarded as an ingenious platforming puzzle game. A sequel seemed inevitable, and, sure enough, along came a teaser video with suitably epic music …

… and then Fish canned the game a month after announcing it, to the complete shock of everyone who wasn’t named Phil Fish.

The Stupid Reason It Was Cancelled:

When Fish refused to comment on Microsoft’s new Xbox One indie game development policies, obscure gaming journalist Marcus Beer decided that this was an egregious affront against humanity. Beer said Fish was “bitching and moaning” about having to answer media questions. He also called Fish a “fucking asshole,” a “fucking hipster,” and a “tosspot,” which we’re pretty sure is British for something along the lines of “not a great dude.” Fish responded on Twitter in the most mature and responsible way that platform allows: by telling Beer to go kill himself.

Yet another stupid fight started with Beer consumption.

When the dust settled, Fish declared, “I fucking hate this industry,” cancelled the game, announced his exit from game development, and took his ball home.

Leaving disappointed fans to tell him where he could put it.

Fish later clarified that the cancellation of Fez 2 wasn’t “due to any one thing,” implying that Beer’s comments were simply the straw that broke the fish’s back.

… said the boorish fuck.

But, regardless of other contributing factors, it was a stupid Twitter spat that ultimately killed the game. Seriously, social media, is there anything you don’t ruin?

#2. A Mario Volleyball Game Was Cancelled For Violating A Vague Honor Code

Mario is one of the greatest athletes to ever fictionally exist. From golf, tennis, and go-karting to baseball, basketball, and more, he has mastered countless sports, despite looking like his favorite is amateur hot dog eating. So, when Next Level Gamers started working on a Mario volleyball game with the premise of “Hey, Mario hasn’t played volleyball yet,” they must have felt pretty good about their odds of success — especially since they had already made their mark with two Super Mario Strikers games that were praised for combining the tedium of soccer with the physics of Space Jam.

At least it gives Waluigi something to do in between bouts of never doing anything.

Then, they threw in elements of professional wrestling and game shows to make the weirdest hybrid this side of a stoner’s kitchen. Nintendo’s beloved characters were going to spike balls into faces and pile-drive each other into the floors of electrified rings in the insane genre mash-up you never knew you wanted. At best, it would have been a glorious, surreal combination of ideas that monopolized your weekends like so many go-kart races and tennis matches before it. And, at worst, it would have provided fleeting amusement before your inevitable demise, which is all we can really ask of a video game.

It honestly makes about as much sense as actual wrestling, so why not?

The Stupid Reason It Was Cancelled:

Nintendo felt that “certain aspects of [the game’s] premise clashed with the company’s code of honor,” because Nintendo apparently operates under the same principles as the French Foreign Legion. Just what Nintendo meant is vague, but we do know that they were uncomfortable with the level of violence in the game and considered it “dishonorable” to be able to hit characters that were already down. Behold the incredible, stomach-churning combat that Nintendo found unsettling:

What happened to wholesome entertainment, like ripping turtles out of their shells and slowly digesting Goombas alive?

Their objections mostly just raise further questions, considering one of their most successful franchises is all about having their most popular characters mercilessly pummel the absolute shit out of each other. Maybe volleyball is just really unpopular in Japan. Or, maybe the video game industry is terrifyingly arbitrary, and it’s a wonder anything ever gets made at all. Or, maybe both!

#1. Silent Hills Was Cancelled Because Konami Thinks Mobile Gaming Is The Future

Doubly so if they included an alternate skin of his fashion model days.

The hype train gained further steam with the release of P.T., a playable teaser (oooh, we just got that), where you stroll through the same hallway repeatedly and watch your home slowly get more and more horrifying.

Home Alone took a dark turn once Kevin found Buzz’s stash of mushrooms.

There was no combat, almost no dialogue, a simple plot, and little interaction beyond discovering what fucked-up thing was now in your bathroom. And it was still widely considered one of the best horror games of the year. That’s like a movie trailer beating actual movies for the Best Picture Oscar. It was a legitimately terrifying experience and, if the full game was able to match its intensity, it would have been an instant classic.

“Mrs. Robinson, you’re trying to devour my flesh and feast on my soul.”

And then it was cancelled, the ability to download P.T. was removed, and developer Konami is now hunting down anyone who still references its existence and sending them to re-education camps. Run! Save yourself, before it’s too late!

The Stupid Reason It Was Cancelled:

Konami thinks traditional games just aren’t worth the effort anymore. This is the Silent Hill game they decided to make instead.

Yes, that’s a Silent Hill-themed slot machine set to music that’s rocking junior high schools across Midwest America. We completely understand if you need a minute for the tears to stop. Konami actually makes more money from their casino games than they do from video games, and they think mobile games represent the only profitable future in the latter department.

Three Pyramid Heads nets you 50,000 points and your grandma’s head on a pike.

OK, so it’s a cold yet rational business decision. Disappointing, but understandable. But, wait a second — Metal Gear Solid V, a game that was anticipated as much as Silent Hills, made more money in its opening weekend than Jurassic World and Avengers: Age Of Ultron. Combined. It’s a massive hit, leaving Konami’s logic inscrutable. Between deciding they don’t like making games anymore, cutting ties with long-time collaborator Kojima, and making Del Toro say that he’ll never work on a video game again, it’s like Konami’s having a midlife crisis where they quit their job, divorce their spouse, alienate their friends, and hit the open road on a brand-new type of motorcycle that runs solely on spite.

Ready to see the kind of shit we got instead? Then check out Seanbaby’s The 20 Worst NES Games Of All-Time and The 6 Worst Games Ever Farted Out By Beloved Franchises.

Source: http://allofbeer.com/5-awesome-game-sequels-that-were-screwed-over-canned/

from All of Beer https://allofbeer.wordpress.com/2018/05/01/5-awesome-game-sequels-that-were-screwed-over-canned/