#dude help im literally lonely

[mochaticat]

So! How does it feel to be a minor in a "forgotten/old" fandom and literally only find ppl in their 20s-30s actually talking about it?

[kendyroy]

i’ve always wondered what worst logan thinks of main logan. is he jealous at all of how revered he was? i mean what do you even think of the guy that’s considered the “best version” of you when you’re seen as the worst.

[fappellmoan]

something that makes me feel guilty is the fact that seeing that persons face rn literally makes me angry. they walked into class and i nearly winced. and in all fairness they were quite kind to me. outside of the several kind of odd red flags. girl whatever. to be quite frank i am a horny bastard and vocal proud etc but few people interest me enough to actually want to hang out with and get to know And i have deep seated intimacy issues so it's like. we really dont have a shot unless the circumstances r exactly right on a full moon perfect thursday of a month etc like. well and tbh i probably would have fucked around with this person but i dont... care... about some big relationship w them.. and i know i could be a relationship girl like eventually i have it in me to have a muse that's what im built for i think idc but not rn... rn i need to hang out with my friends and do my film stuff and have people that maybe wanna make out sometimes is that so much to ask for. for a lesbian at a bar to want to make out perhaps. ** for there to be lesbians at the bars to potentially make out with.

[badasmuse]

“Homewrecker”

Bada Lee x Reader

Warnings: 18+ (MDNI), lowercase intended, language, cheater!bada, bottom!bada, bada is married to h*wl, bada has a daughter, top!reader, lonely bada, she also cries, appearance from itzy’s yuna

Summary: bada is lonely, you fix that.

Part 2 Here

you absolutely loved children. ever since you were fifteen when you started babysitting for your neighbor that’s when you knew. you actually wanted to start your own daycare but you wanted a degree so you decided to take a few online classes in early childhood education. but, going to college meant you need money for books and such so you never stopped babysitting. but your usual child’s father came back into her life making you jobless once again, so when you received a text from an unknown number stating she got your number from her friend you jumped with joy. and that’s how you started working for bada lee and her husband.

on your first day, you pull up to the extremely big house, you’re nervous. you keep thinking, what if i lose this kid in this big ass house.

there’s a tall woman and a slightly shorter male standing in the doorway holding a little girl. she looks about seven. you step out of the uber and approach the little family. “hi i’m y/n. i’m looking for ms. lee?”

“that’s me.” she steps out shaking your hand. “you can call me bada. this is my husband howl, not his real name but as a dancer it’s just what he goes by, and our daughter chaeyoung. come in.”

you follow the woman in and dude when i tell you this house is huge. you could probably fit three semi trailers stacked on top of each other in here. with the wheels still on and everything. you’re too busy admiring the house to hear what bada is saying.

“got that y/n?” is all you hear.

“huh? oh i’m… im sorry i was admiring your house i didn’t hear a thing. could you… repeat that?” you say shyly.

“oh no problem. this is a list of people you can call if you can’t get in touch with either of us. always try lusher first she’s my best friend she’ll always be able to get ahold of me. i’ll be out at the studio a lot this month because i’m choreographing a few comebacks and howl is getting ready to go to japan to teach some classes. i will be back around nine tonight. here’s chae’s bedtime routine. she’ll try to stay up past eight thirty, if she fights let her because she’ll fall asleep in the next five minutes. you can just lay a blanket over her on the couch and i’ll carry her to the room when i come back. is that too much at one time?” bada asks after literally vomiting a shit ton of information.

“no no i think i got it all. also, if you’re gonna be dancing, i don’t mind carrying her to her room. you’ll be tired and probably want to shower, i can handle it.” you say smiling.

“if you can i’d appreciate it. oh we have to go. chae you be good for y/n okay? i mean it.” bada says crouching in front of the girl who just nods in response before hugging her mother tight and hugging her father’s leg.

soon, it’s just you and her. boy did she give you a run for your money. you did lose her in the house while playing hide n seek. she made you play dress up with her. she took your phone and hid it, spilled apple juice everywhere, and even went into her parent’s room and took one of her mom’s lipsticks.

by now it’s eight thirty and she surprisingly went to bed without an issue, which you were grateful for because now you have to clean the mess in the kitchen and living room.

“hi i’m home.. y/n?” you hear bada say.

“kitchen!” you respond.

“what.. happened?”

“oh she spilled apple juice. this- here. she took this from your room. um, do you mind calling my phone?” you mumble.

bada sighs and goes into a room before coming out with your phone in hand. “i’m sorry she did this to the last babysitter, and the one before. if you don’t want to continue just let me know okay?” she says helping you clean the apple juice.

you look up at her and see the sweat dripping down her face, the tired look in her eyes. she’s obviously struggling. “what time should i be here tomorrow?”

her eyes light up and she smiles brightly. “um, same time okay? it’ll just be me and her, my husband will be gone early.”

“i’ll be here. go shower. i’ll finish up and make my way out of here.” you pick up the used paper towel, throwing it in the garbage.

thirty minutes later she emerges from the bathroom dressed in a new pair of sweats and a tank with her wet hair flowing down her back.

“i’ll get your uber home. can you put your address in here?”

*

now it’s been four months and man, the feelings you feel towards this woman are crazy.

“she’s just so.. fine, yuna.” you say to your best friend. “when she comes home from the studio and she’s dripping with sweat. you know how hard it is to not jump on her?”

yuna laughs, “isn’t she married?”

“yes but… come on. her husband is never really there. she’s always tired and probably sexually frustrated. i could fix that for her for real.” you say taking the drink from her.

“that’s mine.” she sighs, “well are you gonna go for it?”

“i don’t know, should i? what if i get fired?” you say.

“then you get fired. come on i’ll drop you off. it’s almost time.”

once you arrive at the house, you knock and wait, watching yuna pull off. bada opens the door and looks at you surprised. “y/n? what are you doing here?”

you blink, “it’s.. saturday?”

“oh! oh i’m so sorry. first come in.” she steps to the side, “i’m sorry, chaeyoung is with her grandmother for today. i thought i told you. probably forgot i was doing so much this morning. i feel so bad you probably ubered here, let me pay you for that and i’ll get you one back.”

“my friend dropped me off. i can ask her to come get me.” you say sending a quick text to yuna.

“well have you eaten? let me get you something.” she says.

“i’m okay i’m not hungry.” at least, not for food.

“well.. here’s a water bottle. i’m so sorry.”

“it’s okay bada. my schedule is open.” you look at the reply from yuna and sigh. “actually could you get the uber? my friend is busy, she won’t be able to come get me for at least an hour or so.. unless you don’t mind me waiting?”

“i don’t mind. i actually wanted to talk to you about chaeyoung.” she says sitting next to you.

“what is it?”

“i’m not too sure what you’re doing but.. she used to be terrible in school, behavior wise, and ever since you came along it’s changed. what are you doing with her? what can i do to make sure she doesn’t act that way once you get your degree and stop working for me?” bada sighs, leaning back on the couch.

“bada,” you turn your body to face her, “the issue with chae is you don’t give her enough attention. i know both you and howl work a lot. it happens. but she tells me all the time how she wishes at least you were here more often. she’s lonely. it’s only her and you stick her with a bunch of strangers. she told me she feels happy when i’m here because even tho i’m leaving, i still make her happy because i’m giving her the attention she craves.”

bada wipes a tear from her cheek, “i try. it’s just hard. i want to be here. then howl took that stupid job traveling to different countries like he doesn’t have a wife and child at home. i feel like i’ve been snapping at her which is why i sent her with her grandmother. i wanted to.. be with my husband and he’s not even here he went to america. i wanted to talk to him about this.”

you pull bada in for a hug and rub her back as she cries into your shoulder. “you’re doing the best you can, bada. you can’t be too hard on yourself. howl should’ve thought about that before he left. he needs to understand you need help.” you say softly.

bada pulls back and looks at you, “you really think i’m doing my best?”

“i do.”

there’s a tension filled silence as you look at each other. you don’t know what fueled you but you lean in and kiss her on her lips before pulling back quickly. “oh shit i’m sorry you’re married-“

she cuts you off with another kiss gripping your shirt. this one is a lot more desperate. “please…” she mumbles against your lips. “i need this please.. please don’t go.” she whines.

“your room.” you say and she stands up pulling you into the bedroom she shared with howl.

she pushes you on the bed and climbs on top of you finding your lips again as your hands trail under her shirt. you pull it off her and she whines.

“relax baby, i’ll make you feel good, just be patient.” you turn her on her back kissing her neck and down to her chest. lifting up her bra you attach to her nipple, sucking gently and she moans. you pinch the other one with your fingers and her hips buck up against you, looking for friction.

“keep your hips down.” you whisper, kissing down her stomach. you leave marks on her hip bones and she moans your name.

“y/n please… please i want you so bad!” she writhes on the bed.

you pull her shorts off and she’s not wearing anything under them. “made this easy for me huh? oh you’re so wet for me bada.” you run a finger over her clit and her leg jerks. you put her leg on your shoulder and make eye contact with her. “can i?”

“please y/n please do- OH!” she moans out when your tongue makes contact with her clit. her hands clutch the sheets as you suck on her clit, sticking two fingers in her.

her breath hitches and she lets out loud moans, “oh my god s-so good! please more!”

you insert another finger curling them up into her spot. she lets out a squeal. “why are you so good at this?” she moans, hands going to your hair as she fucks herself onto your fingers. “i’m cumming!”

you speed up your fingers, flicking your tongue skillfully and she cums with a scream, your name falling off her lips.

you pull your hand out giving her a minute to breathe. “you okay?” you run her lower stomach gently.

“i need… more. please? i have.. have toys in my sock drawer.” she pants.

you walk over to where she points and find a different array of toys. “oh you’re kinky.”

“please use whatever you want. make me your slut. please.” she whines.

you bite your lip, grabbing the dildo, a vibrator, and some handcuffs. “you mind?”

“oh please!” she moves her hands to the headboard, letting you cuff her to it. “i-i can eat you out while you fuck me. you can sit on my face.”

you shiver at the thought before stripping and doing what she wants. her tongue skillfully explores you and you question how she let a man trap her with a tongue like that? you lean forward and put the dildo in her, immediately thrusting it in and out of her while putting the vibrator on her swollen clit. she moans into you and pulls at the cuffs. you’re worried she might be uncomfortable so you lift up but she whines loudly. “i’m not finished!”

you sit back down, thrusting the toy faster and turning up the speed on the vibrator. you let out a moan trying not to grind on her face. you move when she starts to mumble something.

“what did you say baby?”

“use me. use me to get yourself off. make me your personal tuck toy.” she moans out.

you moan as you move back onto her face doing as she asks all while you fuck into her tight count with the dildo. you’re close and you know she’s close from the way her moans get higher. she latches onto your clit sucking roughly as you pound the dildo into her gspot and you’re both cumming with loud moans. you remove the toys and she squirts all over her bed. you get off her and rub her clit, helping her ride out her high.

“okay! okay i’m done i can't…i’m done please!” she moans pulling the cuffs.

“give me one more. let me make sure you’re 100% satisfied. you might not get it this good for a while.” you whisper.

she whimpers and cums one last time, her juices flow out of her and you caress her thigh gently.

“so good for me bada. did such a good job.” you uncuff her and she pulls you in for a kiss. you can taste yourself on her tongue.

“thank you.” she whispers. “i needed that. god i needed that.. tell your friend nevermind. stay with me.”

“what about your husband? and chae?” you ask.

“he’s gone for a week, chae will be back tomorrow night. after i take a nap i want to go again.” she groans, turning on her side.

grabbing your phone, you tell yuna to just bring your backpack that has your strap instead and you lay down next to bada. she immediately moves her head onto your chest and sighs, falling asleep.

that was a lot easier than you thought it would be.

[crazylittlejester]

How do you think the modern gang would react to their LU counterparts? Like, imagining M!Twilight looking at LU Twilight and like, "DUDE?? THE FACE TATTOOS???? FANGS??? BRO YOURE RIPPED???" Or seeing Time in this decked out suit of armor and giant sword

Sky seeing himself as this literal knight, the fastest and possibly best fighter in the group

But at the same time, where theres alot of room for "you look so fucking cool dude" there could be major angst

M!War seeing LU!Wild. Seeing his best friend covered in battle scars, seeing himself with burns up his arm, or even seeing Wind, the literal child, covered in wounds

Idk I just wanna know how you think theyd react :))

this was the most incredible question you could’ve asked me and im using this as a mental break from my research paper 🙌🙌🙌 thank you 🙏 i wish i had the brain energy to yap more but my head really hurts so i humbly offer you this for now:

(for the LU boys im going to be talking about them in reference to how i typically characterize them in my non au fics. also my bad for spelling errors or weird sentences, weird things are happening to my vision-)

I think out of the main three boys from the Miscellaneous Modern Au, the Skys would handle it the best. Like they’d be weirded out at first and a bit disturbed for SURE, but they’d get over it pretty fast. M!Sky would probably be very fascinated by my LU Sky’s scars (the ones he got fighting Demise) and I think it would hurt both of them to realize even in another universe, there are still people who see them as sleepy and lazy. Though LU Sky has the whole hero thing going for him, he’s now the ‘godslayer’, father of the royal bloodline and the one who forged the master sword. I think M!Sky would feel a little disappointed in himself he hasn’t done anything cool like that, but they’d both move on to chatting about crafts pretty fast. LU Sky carves, M!Sky knits, they both like music and cats/remlits, and they love their gfs. They’ll get along okay. It’d be very important to them both to know that they’re both close with Groose, and that they KNOW Twi and Wars and all the others, even if the connections are a little different

M!Twi and LU Twi would lose their MINDS over each other’s tattoos, not sure how LU Twi would feel about M!Twi’s eyebrow piercing but they’d love each other’s tattoos. I think LU Twi would have some complicated feelings about how M!Twi got to CHOOSE his tattoos and how they’re made of things he loves and are symbolic of things that are important to him while his (LU Twi) are the sign of a curse, but I think he’d like his counterpart’s very much. LU Twi certainly has more visible, DEFINED muscle than M!Twi does, but they’re equally as strong, my modern au Twi just has a bit more healthy fat on him. They are both SOLID fucking guys, definitely the person you call to help you move a couch. M!Twi would also lose his shit over the fangs, which I can see LU Twi being a little self conscious about, but he’d be a little unnerved that M!Twi’s eyes are BROWN, and not the same ocean blue that Time’s are

Speaking of Time, I think LU Twi would be a bit… jealous, that M!Twi got to be raised by him. LU Twi looks up to LU Time so so much, the man means a hell of a lot to him, and he had to deal with snappy comments from the shade and now he has to live with the knowledge Time dies a miserable death and seeing that M!Twi got M!Time as a father would be like rubbing salt in a wound. M!Twi got Rusl and Uli and Colin in ADDITION, as close family friends, so I can see LU Twi getting pretty jealous. (Not to mention the fact that M!Twi still has Midna-) M!Twi would feel horribly guilty to realize how isolated and lonely LU Twi feels near constantly, and I can see him getting into a bit of a bad mindset and start to think his depression and anxiety aren’t valid because M!Twi’s childhood was genuinely wonderful, what right does he have to be depressed when his counterpart lost everything and has to carry around such heavy knowledge it’s driving him into the dirt? (and I would bonk him on his head for this, because M!Twi’s mental health issues are JUST as valid)

I think my LU Wars would get nauseous the second he saw his other self, because he’d look at 20 yo M!War and recognize the look in his eyes immediately and just Know that there really is no universe in which he can avoid Cia, and that would be like a knife to the chest. He could look at him and know EXACTLY why M!War still dyes his hair, even if he complains about it being damaged, why he spends so long getting ready every morning, why he runs himself into the ground so he doesn’t have time to think about anything besides what he’s throwing himself into. I think LU Wars would be a bit confused that M!War seems to GENUINELY miss the spotlight, but he might wave that off as M!War being so young still

M!War would think LU Wars has a stick up his ass, which is fucking hilarious because they are genuinely the exact same person (like yes, obviously, but they also really do have the SAME personality too, LU War is just more likely to stand quietly and observe because that’s an army thing and he looks a little Important and Fancy in his armor). M!War would also be a bit unnerved by the scars on his counterpart’s face, I think they’d startle him a bit. LU Wars would be HORRIFIED to learn about M!War and his relationship with his mother, but very grateful to know he’s still being cared for by Time and Malon. Granted that would be so fucking weird to him- It’d be weird to M!War too, because those two have a VERY different relationship with Time, he’d watch LU Wars smack LU Time on the back and just fuck with him or something and immediately have a heart attack. To M!War, Time is the father he never had. M!War never knew his dad, his mom never dated, most his coaches and dance teachers were women, Time really is the closest thing he’s ever had to a father and his approval means fucking EVERYTHING to him. To LU Wars, thats his little brother, forever and always. Doesn’t matter how tall Time gets, Wars looks in his eyes and sees the same kid from the war who he held during loud explosions to comfort him. Time (both of em) would find the dynamic change very weird as well

M!War, LU Wars, M!Wild, and LU Wild would just be a goddamn mess of a group- The Wilds seeing another universe in which they still failed at something Warriors succeeded at is just one thing, they have to look at each other and recognize that their failure killed one of them and took mobility from the other. And I think in a way they’d be a little jealous of each other (and also feel bad about it), M!Wild needs to use a cane a lot of the time (not every day) but he eats and sleeps like normal, he’s still ‘hylian’. LU Wild is slightly dead a little bit, sometimes he doesn’t have a heart beat, but he can scale a mountain for shits and giggles on a saturday afternoon

And LU War has to realize M!Wild is to M!War what MASK is to him, and that’s a shock I’m not sure he’s ready for. LU Wars loves Wild, ofc he does, but they aren’t super close because LU Wild is a little unnerved by him. M!War would literally die for his Wild, he’d do anything for him, Wild was the one who gave him his blue scarf he’s his oldest and closest friend, and seeing LU Wild would give him a heart attack I think. Not that M!Wild doesn’t have burn scars, but my LU Wild isn’t… perfectly alive- His eyes ‘glow’ an unnatural color and he’s genuinely a bit off putting until you get used to him because being around him makes the hairs on your neck stand up. M!Wild is weird, sure, but in a living kind of way, LU Wild is weird because of the shrine

god i have. i have such Thoughts about this. Some of the Miscellaneous Modern au boys could be friends with my version of their LU counterpart, but others would not be able to handle certain things about the other because its WORSE than looking in a mirror, it’s looking at another version of themself and realizing that fate and that trauma was truly unavoidable. I also think it’d be a comfort to all of them that even in another life, they still all found each other and are friends

[discoveredreality]

intro post <3

don't mind me editing this like every single day lol

my dm's and askbox is always open if u want to talk <3

anons are welcome too <3

also if u want to make new friends i am right here pls say hi im fucking lonely😭

anyways

BELOVED MOOTS <33333 (everyone is tagging them and this is fun)

this in no particular order just whoever pops up on my dash or smth idk. not every moots just the ones i actually know lol. ok so

@im-ur-sleep-paralysis-demon THEY'RE AMAZING LOVE THEM SM IF U DON'T FUCK OFF BECAUSE OMG KJHLGJKFJHLKYFJHKJGL

@ma-lan13 HELP MY BESTIE IRL GOT TUMBLR OMG OMG. AND SHES ACTUALLY USING IT WTF?????? ANYWAYS SHES THE BEST <333

@bloophasarrived SHE'S THE SWEETEST AND SO WONDERFUL. HER PERSONALITY SPARKLES AND OMG SHE'S SO FUN AHHH

@marylily-my-beloved I LOVE HERRR WE HAVE THE BEST CONVERSATIONS. SO NICE AND EASY TO TALK TO. AND WHY DOES SHE KNOW ME SO WELL <3333

@im-just-here4853 my vent buddy omg we just vent to each other i love her so much idk what i would do without her <33

@im-on-crack-send-help TWINNING IN LITERALLY EVERYTHING. SAME MUSIC TASTE. SAME TASTE IN FOOD. IN DRINKS. IN THE WAY WE THINK. WTF. ANYWAYS SHE'S MY POOKIE I LOVE HER <333

@the-gay-skeleton-in-ur-closet THEY'RE THE BEST OMGGGGG and they're nice and cool and shit <333333 i'm quoting myself it's fine AND LIKE SO NICE AND GOOFY AND EVERYTHING OMG

@cubemagnet somene i met on a random post and now we occasionally team up to correct grammar lol 🤓🤓🤓 anyways she's amazing :D and everything she says is so iconic like isjflsrijglruhglsuglijrsg

@book-girl4eva SHE'S AMAZINGGGGG. IT'S SO EASY TO GOOF AROUND W HER I LOVE IT. SHE ALWAYS SLAYS SO HARD. EVERYTHING ABOUT HER SLAYS. idk if you'll see this but this is for u pookie <3

@mil-pinterest-sss-here-i-am ??? questioning why we're moots. but he's literally so nice. literally will be my therapist and help me w maths because that shit is impossible 😭

@dandelionflowery omg literally so kind and everything all the time. so fun fun reading their fics and doing shit together omg

@sweetwarmcookies16 OMG RIJGDJFGIJFGIF THE BEST I LOVE PLAYING GAMES TOGETHER AND TALKING AND EVERYTHING. ALSO AN AMAZING WRITER

idk brain isnt braining ill add ppl as i go along

moodboards made by my lovely lovely moots <3

so far i only have one here cause i forgot to link the previous ones whoops 😭😭😭

about me

i'm ari. she/her. nicknames welcome. go wild. dude/bro/girl/literally anything is also fine. i use 'lol' and '<3' too much. minor. literally the biggest procrastinator and so disorganised i dare u to find someone worse than me. i'm indian but i live in australia. bengali/north indian idk. band kid :D my pinterest is here. PLEASE DM ME IF U WANT TO. I NEED FRIENDS. IM AWKWARD AND BAD AT MAKING CONVERSATION BUT STILL PLS 😭😭😭

personality/star sign or whatever

according to the mbti test here i am an istp-t. i am also a cancer. i found out my sun, moon and rising signs and the marauders version and i wrote it down and lost it so then i redid it and i lost it again so i can't bother at this point someone help me :(

time zone

Australian Eastern Standard Time (AEST) i think?? SUCK ON THAT AMERICANS AND WHOEVER ELSE EHHEHEHHEHE ;LSDJFSFJIJFDJF;LJ

my music taste

i love taylor swift, conan gray, olivia rodrigo, sabrina carpenter and honestly a lot of other stuff lol. also love bollywood music.

favourite books and authors

i love reading and i'm usually a really fast reader lol. i love harry potter (fuck jkr tho), kotlc, chetan bhagat books, the inheritance games, agggtm, literally all of karen m. mcmanus's books, the divergent series, pjo and hoo, lorien legacies, the selection, powerless, soc, girl in pieces, dictionary of lost words and bookbinder of jericho, all the books by amish, and a bunch of other books.

dni

idk the usual?? if u think ppl arent valid or you're literally an asshole. honestly you all can go get stuffed. idgaf

tag games and shit

yes you can absolutely tag me. i love tag games and chain asks. sometimes i may not get to doing it but i usually will and it makes me so happy when i'm tagged lol

tags

i don't post that much stuff so i don't really have mulitple tags for my posts. anything or any shitposting or thoughts will be tagged #ari's shit. for asks it's #ari gets an ask?

fandoms!

i'm literally obsessed with drarry but i'm mostly part of the marauders fandom. i'm starting to make my way through all of the marauders fics. i love love love hermitcraft. i'm an ethogirl literally who doesn't love etho?? also really into trafficblr. i literally love six of crows so much like omg. desperately trying to get through the magnus archives im only 8 years late haha i also love kotlc sm. (team foster-keefe forever!) i'm low-key in love with keefe sencen cause omg. aaaand also a bunch of other shit but those are the main ones idk bro

i'm bored and this is too long already might as well add more so here are a bunch of userboxes :D

and that's all not because i have self control but because there is a limit to images per post 😭😭😭 i literally had to delete some of my aesthetic images for this soooo

all the above photos are not mine, i got them off of pintrest.

my profile pic is obviously from the makowka picrew here

the beautiful dividers are linked here. these are by @saradika-graphics she is a literal star these dividers are so good

IK THIS IS WAY TOO FUCKING LONG AND I KEEP ON ADDING SHIT MORE SHIT SO IF U ACTUALLY LIKE READ TO THE BOTTOM THIS HERE IS FOR U LMFAO ILYSM <333333

[dmercer91]

ebug's sister, dm91

ok, first post where blake is blake!! also, excuse the absolute dumpster fire that is my life, and is the reason that this post is one post and not like 47

last season! (2022-23) part one / part two / part three / part four / part five / part six / part seven / part eight / part nine / part ten / part eleven / part twelve

(2023-24)! part one /

blakefriarr_

liked by dawson1417, adamfantilli and 6,947 others

blakefriarr_: so many things have happened since i last popped up on all your timelines and made them immeasurably better!

this is episode one of season two of i-am-both-the sister-of-the-devils-home-emergency-backup-goaltender-and-also-happen-to-be dating-dawson-mercer-forward-for-the-devils series!

these pictures are in no particular order, because, i am moving into a new place with afore mentioned dawson mercer and have spent the last several weeks making it look like it's not the most depressing back alley murderous apartment any of you have ever laid your eyes on

and apparently, i have a ball ton of stuff!

regardless, here's what i've caught up on;

the entire nhl draft! though i have not acquired any new adoptees, it did come to my attention that the anaheim ducks as an organization did personally victimize me during the 2023 entry draft (they also took a BALLSY amount of time to re-sign bitch one and bitch two. what the literal fuck, dudes). also- if you are seeing this and you need help to flee, blink twice (not you adam) (you know who you are)

2, the entire preseason was also missed while i was one, curing myself from jetlag and the absolute dread of going back to uni and two, moving my egregious amount of shit with a spiteful level of independence. the devils won every preseason game! dawson scored that clusterfuck of a goal on slide two and we also got to see goalie bonks again! (i told you those pics weren't in order and i meant it)

three, (or four, i forgot what came first) quinneth played his first regular season game as captain of the canucks ad they kicked ass against the edmonton dudes. goncrats captain ;p

four (probably) rookie had both his first reg season nhl game AND his birth on the same day! he cried on camera for thousands of viewers and made me question kidnapping his brother and locking him in an abandoned building in ohio (who am i kidding i don't want to be in ohio). the blue jackets have since been doing blue jacket things (losing)

five (it's all blended together these days) the devs started their regular season and now i get to go to the arena and watch in peace as nico makes dumb faces, jack gets into petty scrums and goes to the box (apparently? that ones new.) and dawson does dawson things (be hot)

sixth and finally, assistant coach and captain quinn (he should probably drop a title for his mental health, me thinks) turned 24! i giggled profusely at an edit of him as tracksuit rob. good job on aging, kid 🎉

that's all, i think. (probably not, what do i know)

view 712 comments..

jj.friar31: remember when we were roomies??? siblings defying the odds?? i've been left out to dry. i'm MARINATING in my loneliness. you've basically shot me and left me out for dead, blakey.

→ blakefriarr_: this is a touch dramatic, that's MY thing

→ jj.friar31: if i agree to never steal your dramatics again will you come back

→ blakefriarr_: have u seen how pretty my boyfriend is?? no dude

→ jj.friar31: blake pls

adamfantilli: of every picture you could've used you just decided to screenshot me crying

→ blakefriarr_: hi im blake have we met??

→ adamfantilli: also, do not kidnap luca.

→ blakefriarr_: oh so you just don't want my love?? is that what this is??

→ luca.fantilli: do not kidnap me

→ blakefriarr_: BOOORRRINNNGGGGG

nicohischier: every day i wonder what it would be like if we didn't let the ebug's come into the room

→ blakefriarr_: do you want dawson to be lonely and bitchless

→ nicohischer: yeah kinda??

→ blakefriarr_: oh

jackhughes: why.

→ blakefriarr_ ehehehe your bucket doing weird things

_quinnhughes: ??????? why am i tracksuit rob????

→ blakefriarr_: who else would be tracksuit rob

→ _quinnhughes: nobody needs to be tracksuit rob, friar.

→ _blakefriarr_: WRONG! you do :)

_connorbedard: am i who i are???

→ blakefriarr_: no apparently you are timbaland

→ _connorbedard: oh. okay?

→ adamfantilli: @/_connorbedard you get used to it

→ _connorbedard: do i want to??

→ adamfantilli: eh. 50/50

dawson1417: oh how i've missed the chaos

→ blakefriarr_: fbejdbsjshdghshsb

→ dawson1417: sometimes it's almost like you say words

→ blakefriarr_: :p i love you

→ dawson1417: i love you too, my girl <3

tannercharlotte: this is my reality tv

→ blakefriarr_: i'll leave him for u say the word

→ dawson1417: HEY??

→ blakefriarr_: shhhh baby go sleep

→ tannercharlotte: don't leave him b he doesn't have to know

ryangraves27: she back

→ blakefriarr_: i back!!

nhlblackhawks: ??

→ njdevils: don't '??' her she's right

→ blakefriarr_: thank you (trade for charlie)

→ nyrangers: i can excuse hawks slander but i draw the line at trying to take our char

→ nhlblackhawks: you can excuse hawks slander?

→ jj.friar31: why do teams keep doing this you have ENOUGH leverage over me

trevorzegras: am i bitch one or bitch two

→ trevorzegras: actually yk what don't answer that i don't wanna know

→ blakefriarr_: too bad you're actually both jamie is an angel

view more comments..

[iwanty0uu]

Heyyy how yall doin! Me? im just chillin thinkin about how onyankopon loves carribean girls

(im literally saying this because im jamaican but anyway)

N/N MEANS NICK NAME BTW!

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ ˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ ˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ ˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥

You whined your hips as your favorite song came on, touching your waist and breasts all while making eye contact with the tall darkskin boy through the crowd. Your best friend Mikasa always hosted the best parties, and always had the best playlists. Fever by Vybez Cartel rung through the speakers as you straightened yourself up and walked towards the figure across from you. You felt his dark lustful eyes burning through you and it turned you on but continued to ignore the the wetness and the butterflies in between your thighs.

You met the tall boy with a simple smile, well aware of how intimidating he looked while towering over you, but still managed to hold eye contact which caught his attention. He knew he looked intimidating, but it was always a nice surprise when a bold girl made the first move.He was practically eye fucking you. Your tight black dress held together by crisscross strings emphasized the curve in your torso ,while the dress flattered the mounds on your chest and made your ass nearly pour out of the bottom of your outfit. The red tattoo on your side barley showing but just enough to show the vine and hibiscus flowers which wrapped around to your lower back. Leaning over you to get a better view of your tattoo, he focused on your back dimples and couldnt help but smile to himself.

“Where u from pretty girl?” he questioned as he placed his drink down, leaning up against the wall behind him. Although the music blared, his deep voice felt like it penetrated every sound in the house, making his words clear, sharp, and only for your ears. You smiled as you flipped your hair over your shoulder revealing a gold chain in the shape of your homeland. “Born and raised” you replied as he smiled. “Ouu you Caribbean girls are dangerous, i hear yall cheat a lot, Im Ony by the way.” His smile was perfect, the pool in your underwear felt like it soaked through your short black dress, shiittt if he was thirsty you had a perfect beverage for him but i digress. “I’m y/n and you can come find out yourself, i meann i wont cheat unless you give me a reason too” ..your confidence could easily make a man’s dick wet,and if ony didnt have on them ksubi jeans the pre cum in his boxers would be visible.

“n/n you is a trip, can i call you n/n? imma call you n/n and if i hear anybody else calling you that imma kill them” he said as he faked a deadpan face. He was funny, he actually made you laugh, he was the first dude you met who wasnt the actual joke in your life. “boy bye everyone calls me that, you finna have a long ass hitlist then hun” you said as you rested your hand on your waist. He looked you up and down again and laughed “stop eye fucking me” you said cockily. Now to be fair, you were doing it first, thats why he stared back at you while you were dancing, and you did want to get to know him more. So, you grabbed his hand, as walked backwards slowly through the crowd. You knew you looked good and fucked good so your confidence was on one hundred tonight

“Hey, lets go back to my place and get to know eachother more..I mean you look all lonely standing here in the corner by yourself sooo we can def be friends” you couldnt resist his ass, and its obvious that he was feelin you too, but you wanted to get to know him more for real, i mean its not like fuckin him till your jaw locked didnt cross your mind once or twice but your intentions werent JUST to use him for his body, sexual thoughts are part of human nature and you just so happened to have some about the fine black man in the room! honest! He did look like he could be some good entertainment for however long he planned on staying in your life, there’s nothing wrong with a boy toy or two.. “Ony baby do you got a girl? i dont wanna be playin in nobody face looking dumb now..” You aren’t insecure, but everybody and they momma cheats in new york.. so theres nothing wrong with asking. “absolutely not..i gotta stay loyal to my girl” he said as he stopped you and gave you a twirl as he held your hand. hm, bold..

Turning back around while he opened the front door for you, it was already set in Onyankopon’s mind that you two would be more than friends..more than bestfriends at that, and he would know all about your favorite things, and your favorite parts. And if you were sure about one thing in your life, it would be that he would be yours by the end of the night, and he knew which set of girls did it the best. Walking off of the front lawn he opened the passenger door for you and quickly ran to the drivers side.

“manner-able too” you thought to yourself looking pleased. “So Ms.Y/n,” he said taking a sigh and turning the ac on low, causing the pine tree air freshener to dance around the rear-view mirror. “Who taught you how to whine like that? Im a visual learner by the way..” he said as he licked his lips and smiled, looking even finer in the low car light which illuminated his grills and nose piercing, rubbing his hands together showing his gold watch which sat pretty, almost as pretty as you on his wrist, accenting his thick veiny hands. Polished fingers looking so delicate and so clean, so glossy yet so rough. Everything about him was fine, and looked expensive.

His clean white shirt didnt have to be name brand to make his outfit hard.. damn was he good at existing, everything about him was so clean and polished. He is aesthetically pleasing to the eye which not a lot of people are. You couldnt stop looking at him in this lighting.. the low dim lights of the party didnt bring out all of his features as well as the car light did. Around his eyebrow rested a small but noticeable scar and a double slit eyebrow made his sharp features even more attractive.

“Lemme take a picture of your fine ass to make this view last longer” you said while grabbing your phone to snap a quick pic, quickly opening snap since their camera was the best. “i would send it to you but i dont have your number, here put it in” he laughed at your demand for his number. “You want me to drop you home? and you still aint answer my question mama” he added on determined.

“I’ll answer it when i get home, its still early so you can come up with me till youre ready to leave, but until then..” you said as you pulled him close and pecked him on his lips, “whats your favorite color?”

Boy are you in for the RIDE of your life..

guysss i hope you enjoyed this i feel like im getting back in the groove with this writing thing this was also long as fuck😭 so please give me any tips and tell me if you liked it! Big up my carribean people and give me some scenario ideas!😋~ ℒℯ𝓁ℯ<3

[runa-falls]

Ok so I've been playing with Mel's Mafia Jake AI and it got me thinking about what Miguel would be like for some reason??? Dude's half Irish so like, maybe he's a boss in the Irish mob. Maybe he took over for his dad and he kind of hates it (has always hated it) but there's really nothing else for him so what can be do? So he goes about his life, about his business, runs his side of things well. He's lonely at the top but he ignores it, doesn't think anyone else would understand the pressure that's on him...

Until he meets you.

It's some celebration (maybe St. Patrick's Day or something idk) and he sees you across the room/bar/whatever and you lock eyes and have A Moment™️ and he decides he has to talk to you. So he does and you hit it off from the get go. You're smart, witty, funny, sexy...just the whole package. He's basically in love, okay?

Then a boss (maybe a rival heheee 👀) from another city or section (or whatever idk how they divide the city up tbh lmao maybe I should've done more research 😭) comes up and he finds out: you're his wife/girlfriend and it's just like a punch in the gut for him. He's devastated. He's never ever wanted anything anyone else had that he couldn't take...until you. Youre kinda bummed too, you really enjoyed the time you spent with Miguel, and you (honestly) aren't a huge fan of your husband/boyfriend (maybe he's an idiot or just a dick idk).

But you guys keep running into each other, and the feelings between you keep growing, until the tension breaks and you hook up with him at another get together (he takes you against a wall, fast and hard, his hand over your mouth because you're moaning as he pushes inside, the stretch of him divine and he buries his face in your neck, his cock spearing in and out of your wet heat in sloppy, hard thrusts. You're both coming in minutes, his spend dripping out of you and down your legs. The sight is almost enough to make him take you again).

After, you both say it was a mistake, that you can't do this again, it won't end well. But neither of you can help it, sneaking off to meet up in random places so no one catches you (except that one time it happened in your bed 🫢). And and and.... yeah. 🫣

I'M SO. SORRY SO MUCH HAS HAPPENED TODAY

OK FIRST, EVERYONE CHECK OUT THIS FAN ART BY @darkfoxkirin -- the mafia!mig of MY DREAMS

PLS WHITNEY:

Maybe he took over for his dad and he kind of hates it (has always hated it) but there's really nothing else for him so what can be do? -> i could literally imagine him sitting on a throne, bored as fuck like 😒 damn this SUCKS lolll

He's lonely at the top -> PLEASE THIS IS GIVING THE MAN WHO HAS EVERYTHING BUT IT'S STILL NOT ENOUGH -- I NEED HIM AHH

you lock eyes and have A Moment™️ and he decides he has to talk to you. -> the moment™️ KILLS ME LOLL, but YES a love or lust at first sight (spoiler, its both). not only does he need to talk to you, he needs you.

But you guys keep running into each other...-> HEY THIS WHOLE PARAGRAPPH, YOU DIDN'T NEED TO DO ME LIKE THAT 0-0, IM MELTING BRUV -- AND THEY KEEP MEETING 🫠

---

ok so imagine that he's getting pressured to marry someone because as the boss, he's expected to have an heir to keep the business in the family.

he agrees to meet up with some aristocratic women just to get his advisors off his ass. it's not like he's taking them home or anything, he's merely meeting them at one of the clubs he owns or getting some dinner.

of course, during one of these 'dates' he bumps into you and your husband.

looks like he's not the only one trying to keep a low profile during the affair.

even though your two gangs are rivals, your husband politely greets miguel (though anyone within a 5 mile radius can hear the venom that simmers below his words).

"Mr. O'Hara, what a surprise to see you here..." you roll your eyes at the dick measuring contest. men can be so --

"Likewise."

miguel doesn't even look at him, barely even acknowledges his existence with his murmured reply. he's too busy looking at you in your pretty dress and the necklace that sits against your chest. he gave you it a few weeks ago, the last time he could get you alone.

he tries to catch your eye but you're not looking back at him, you're looking at the girl who clings to his arm.

both of you barely register that your husband is still talking, eyes devouring the woman who's clearly confused by the tension in the restaurant.

"...and who is this lovely thing?"

"this? oh, this is m..." damn, he forgot. SHIT, he literally just read her file in the car before picking her up. this may not be a real date, but he's not a dick!

she saves him the embarrassment, "I'm Melissa, nice to meet you." she offers a hand, expecting a handshake, but your husband takes it for a kiss. gross. even melissa look weirded out.

"So you're finally out in the field again?"

miguel looks at you warily, but you've been avoiding his eyes during this whole interaction.

"You could say that."

"Good for you." your husband reaches out and holds your hands in his from across the small round table, "It's about time us bachelors settle down."

miguel's jaw clenches, watching how uncomfortable you are being touched by him. "Sure. Look it was great catching up, but me and Melinda have a table waiting."

[hanasnx]

babe it's okay bc dick grayson IS over 6 foot and he has a long cock (i saw it!!!!) 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️

wishing i was his sunshine gf who he spoils rotten 💔💔💔💔💔 he always makes jokes about how he's almost a glorified sugar daddy, but you always rush to reassure him you don't care about the money (he knows lmao) and im so sorry for this but, dick grayson has a voyeurism kink, a somnophilia kink and an arm kink bc he likes it when you cling to his arm like a koala to a tree.

he always gets home late after patrol, and seeing his pretty girl in any way is what gets him going, so he just couldn't keep his hands off you. you woke to your underwear being on the ground, and with his fingers in you 🤭

he always a spends a fucking FORTUNE on you whenever you go out, but he never lets you see the price tags. like my dude RUSHES to cover them so that you don't worry your pretty little head off <3 he started doing that after you told him "if you keep spending so much on me, dickie, you're gonna be in debt by the time we've been dating for like- a year!" so he's very cautious now. can't have his pretty girl worrying about that of all things! especially when you're as rich as him, i mean, all of things he buys is barely a dent in his bank account..! as long you let him touch your pretty pussy while you sleep, wash his hair (!), and be his sunshine, he'll be fine !!!!

(im literally so obsessed w him 😓)

baaabbbeeeee stopppppp

(me when someone says “arm kink”)

behold. elite arms for your arm kink viewing pleasure courtesy of a one dick grayson

☥ i think i saw somewhere that he was canonically 5’10 and that’s good and all, still very tall like i won’t deny it. i just feel like he has crazy tall energy.. and i’m a fool for “glow ups” and growth spurt trope. like in the first season he was shorter than everyone, and then second season he’s taller than everybody like 😵‍💫😵‍💫 i can’t get enough of it. he’s got like 6’2 energy to me

☥ thank you for telling me about your headcanon kinks for him bcos i’m still trying to delve deep into his psyche over here. still trying to figure him out, my sexy little human rubik’s cube

“he likes it when you cling to his arm” is soooo real. like where other couples would hold hands, you hold his arm. feeling his muscle under your palm 🫠

☥ when he realizes you’re awake, he whispers over the wet sounds of your pussy, “shh, baby, go back to sleep… just couldn’t help myself. be done soon.” he coos, and you’re so groggy you hum in content, adjusting further into his warmth while he’s toying with you.

☥ “cant have his pretty girl worrying” PLEAKBSLWBEME

“as long as you let him touch your pretty pussy” HFSLDHSLKCJS IM SO 🔥🔥🥵‼️

the fact he’s fucking loaded fr. he doesn’t like to flaunt it really.. a silver chain for himself here, an expensive motorcycle there… he’s very cautious with it. never liked the mansion life, too big too lonely. the apartment guy, the city guy,… unless he’s with you. then he feels like he wants to step it up. especially bcos he wants to fuck you that night after your luxurious outing

[jinx-420]

Summer fling

Summary: Your brothers childhood friend joins your family’s annual summer beach trip, nothing has changed between you two…right?

Warnings: brothers bsf Abby x fem reader, gets a teeny bit smutty, this series is gonna be kinda slow burn, smoking weed, Abby calls reader princess like a billion times. this isn’t proof read so it’s kinda shitty.. 😧

“Why do you even need so many bikinis, I mean cmon..there’s like forty in here” your bestie friend Kira says as she watches you pack your suitcase.

“A girl needs her options okay!” You said rolling your eyes adding an additional bikini you just found in your messy closet. “Im ganna be so lonely without you here I think I’m ganna die of boredom” Kira complains once again about your annual 1 month long summer beach trip your leaving for in the morning. “Let’s just FaceTime every night alright ? I’ll let you know if there’s any summer flings over there” you say struggling to zip up your overfilled suitcase. “Shit dude try to help me out here” you add on while your zipper still doesn’t budge. “I’ll sit on it and you zip it” you say as you sit on the suitcase. You put all your weight down as Kira pulls the zipper one way as hard as she can, which leads to the suitcase slipping from under you. You let out a little yelp as you land on the floor. “Ohmygod I’m ganna pee my pants” Kira manages to say while wheezing .

Just then your older brother, Jordan bursts in the room “Ohmygod can y’all be any louder me and Abby are trying to finish our summer project so we don’t have to during the trip” you could barely even process what he said from the ongoing laughter but then finally registered what he said. “wait what ? Abbys here? And she’s coming on the trip too ? Y’all haven’t hung out in years and plus mom said only family” you said questioning him but also giving your friend ‘the look.’ “Yeah we have been hanging out like we used to again and yep mom practically thinks of her as a daughter” he says before leaving your room. “Hmm maybe Abby will be the ‘summer fling’ I’ll be hearing about” Kira starts teasing you because if there’s one thing about Kira, it’s that she knows you more than you know yourself. “Oh shut up even my brother just said she’s practically family that’d just be weird” you said putting your focus back on the stubborn suitcase to cover your slightly flustered face. “Mhm” Kira says raising her eyebrows before joining in once again to help zip up your luggage. “Tada !” You say as you finally get the zipper to close all the way.

———————————————-

“Dude it’s 2:35 AM you have looked over the project like a billion times, I’m pretty sure it’s good enough” Abby says while smoking a joint on Jordan’s bed. “Ok fine, now gimme that” Jordan says as he puts his hand out while submitting the assignment.

“Dude you know what I just realized.. I haven’t seen your sister in like years” Abby says with red slanted eyes. “First off, you look absolutely gone right now, second she’s literally right across the hall if you want to invite her to our little movie night and third she hasn’t even changed that much” Jordan says in between hits. Abby agrees to his idea and takes the joint from him while he sends you a text asking to come in his room. “Alright now we wait for the gremlin to arrive” Jordan jokes a bit while scrolling through his Instagram feed.

Abby was mid hit when you walked in wearing only a small tank top and sleeping shorts. She could barely recognize you because the last time she remembers seeing you, you were just a tween. Of course Abby wasn’t expecting the same kid she knew before but cmon.. you looked like a fucking model. her eyes drifted down your body to your hardened nipples poking through your tank top and your plush thighs make her instantly cough on the smoke she was inhaling “fuck” she said, mid coughs. Jordan laughed a bit at Abby coughing on the weed (at least that’s what he thinks she was coughing from) Abby let out one final cough before looking back at you to see your eyebrows raised at her then to jordan. “I’m ganna get dressed real quick I kinda forgot you were here” you say with a nervous giggle to Abby hoping she didn’t see the redness on your cheeks or any sign of panic in your voice. As you turned around to exit his room Abby couldn’t not check to see if your ass has grown as much as your other body has and holy fuck, she thinks she might pass out.

“I thought you said she didn’t change a lot bro.” Abby says with her jaw on the floor. “I mean her hairs longer I guess” jordan says shrugging like having a goddess as a sister was nothing. “Yeah whatever you say” Abby’s says still completely flabbergasted. “Yo imma go make some popcorn downstairs for us real quick, you pick a movie on Netflix or something” jordan says before heading downstairs. As Abby turns the tv on to look for a movie, you walk in once again but this time wearing a hoodie to cover your chest and the same little shorts. “He went downstairs to get us popcorn so we can have a movie night” Abby says when she sees your eyes looking for Jordan. “Oh alright sounds fun, we haven’t done this in years” you say sitting down on the bed next to Abby leaving a few inches between you both. “Yeah last time we did you were a little kid” abby said laughing with you “oh shut up were literally only three years apart you were basically a kid too” you say defensively. Abby puts her hands up in the air in a surrendering motion and you both laugh a bit before you talk again “you look so different..” your eyes trail to her muscular build. “You think I look different ? I could barely recognize you if it weren’t for your face, you still kinda have a baby face” she says teasing you with a smirk. “I’ll fight you, watch it” you say cheesing reminiscing on how you always use to play around like this when she slept over. “oh yeah? Hm I wonder who will win” she says sarcastically, turning her body to face you completely, her muscles flexing in her hoodie as she laid her body weight on the bed. She noticed you go quiet while staring at her thighs “y/nnnn..” she said chuckling tilting her head to try to catch your attention again. You realize you were staring too long and the blush went back across your face for what felt like the billionth time today as you look back at her to see she was staring at you with those same old eyes you always swooned over. “I- uh..” you start as you direct your gaze to the pillow on the bed. you could barely speak let alone hold contact with her as she kept staring at you like that. “Youu what, princess?” Abby teased calling you the name she always use to call you as kids. The way you two were positioned had Abby slightly over your body which was sitting against the pillows. You finally get the courage to hold eye contact with her again and you take in each others appearance, you were staring at her with doe eyes that could make Abby go insane, and Abby slightly towering over you, staring at you with droopy eyes and a lazy smile. “You get my sister high or something?” Jordan barges in with popcorn and a few drinks. Both you and Abby slightly jump away from each other. This was nothing than like when you two were kids. “Uh no but it’s about time you shared with me” you say grabbing the joint from Abby, trying to break some tension from before. “Help yourself” she said with her eyes lingering on you smoking longer than she could control.

“Scoot” Jordan spoke up as he sat on the bed next to you, pushing you and Abby together. “What movie are we ganna watch, Abby ?” Jordan spoke again looking at Abby. “Oh uh I was kinda in the mood for a classic movie or something..” Abby put the idea out there for any recommendations. “How about fight club that’s always a good one” you say after brainstorming for a few seconds. “Ooo I fucking love fight club hell yeah” Abby says with wide eyes and grabbing the remote.

————————————————————

“How is his ass already asleep it’s literally been half an hour since we put the movie on” you say in shock as your brother snores in a deep slumber next to you. “We should definitely pull a prank on him later” Abby says laughing with you. “Oh definitely, I’m thinking a finger in warm water trick yea ?” You question Abby as you look between them both. “Sounds like a plan” Abby agrees with you and faces towards you to put her hand out and shake yours like you two made a deal. Your eyes lock on her biceps flexing against her hoodie as you shake her larger hand, yours feeling awfully small in hers.

As you two still were hand in hand, Jordan stirs in his sleep and ends up in a position that takes up half the bed, leaving you to smoosh yourself into Abby’s side more than before. “Sorry I don’t mean to take up your space but he’s being a hog” you say a little awkwardly and Abby looks down and smiles saying in a slightly raspy voice “all good princess, just like when we were kids”. You blush and innocently snuggle into her side a little more. Just as you thought your brother couldn’t cause anymore problems, he threw his arm over his head in his sleep, and in the process of doing so, he knocked his fan; the only source of air conditioning in the room, off the bed and onto the floor with a ruckus.

“Fuck this better not be broken or it’s ganna get hot in here” you said getting off the bed to try and fix the fan. You grunted in frustration when you realized that there was no saving the stupid broken fan. “Here lemme see it” Abby says coming up behind you with her hand on the small of your back, making you internally scream. She has her share of a struggle with the fan before giving up as well. “Welp it can’t get that warm in here, right?” Abby questioned you with a hint of worry in her voice. “You’ll see for yourself” you say as you strip yourself of your hoodie, Abby watching your body (specifically your tits) the whole time. “That’s better” you say with a sigh and hopping back into bed. “I’ll take your word for it then” Abby says as she follows your lead and takes her hoodie off as well, leaving her in a black wife pleaser. You assumed that Abby’s arms would match the rest of her toned body but Jesus Christ. You couldn’t snap your eyes away from her biceps, noticing the veins in her arms made you go weak and even as she stood infront of the bed following your gaze on her arms, you still couldn’t pull your eyes away. “Take a picture it’ll last longer” she said with a little chuckle. “Uh… sorry you just look a lot different” you tried to play off the fact she caught you basically eye fucking her. “Just a little muscle is all” she said humbly as she got into bed next to you and joining you to continue the movie. Even though Abby had a nonchalant facade going on, your braless tits pressed against her side had her going fucking insane. Her heart was racing and she was hoping to god that you couldn’t hear it thumping in her chest. The movie was the last thing you two were worried about and had both of your minds wrapped around each other.

You wondered if Abby really lived up to her childhood nickname, abs, and your eyes drifted down her body to see a slight imprint of her toned stomach. You internally fold once again at the sight alone. You were fully convinced that Abby was sculpted by a god as your eyes check her out sneakily while her eyes stay focused on whatever the hell is happening on the tv. As you finish making your own mental movie of Abby in your head, it was Abby’s turn to get another peek of you herself. Although fully knowing you would notice her checking you out, one look couldn’t hurt right ? As her eyes carefully flickered down your body, she herself was convinced you crawled right out of a wet dream. why did you have to get so fucking fine? Abby thought as her eyes scanned every inch of you.

First her eyes focused on how you had one leg poking a little further out than the other so the side of your hip was sticking out a bit, then she noticed how your tank top had ridden up your stomach a little bit leaving a slant of skin exposed. As she made note of every little detail of your heaven sent body, her eyes made the mistake of looking at your face. You were already looking in her eyes with a blush on your checks and Abby swears she almost had a heart attack from the way you were looking up at her. “Thought I was the one with a staring problem” you teased her like you weren’t just staring the exact same way she was.

“Kinda hard not to stare when you’re looking at me like you want me to fuck you” Abby says in a raspier voice than usual. You were caught so off guard from Abby’s words your mouth was just left agape as you struggle to find the words to reply. “Relax, I’m just teasing you” Abby says with a blush across her face and trying to play off the fact that she wants to spit in that open mouth of yours. You laugh a painfully forced laugh as you shift from your position a little bit, needing to relieve the unbelievably intense ache in your pussy.

After what felt like the longest hour in a half of your entire life, the movie was finally over. (not like you would have known if it weren’t for Abby sitting up a bit) As you stretched your arms you felt yourself tired, you decided it was finally time to go to sleep.

“Hey abs I’m gonna go to sleep now alright?” You said to her as you got off the bed and grabbed your hoodie off the bed. “Sure, I’ll see you in a few hours then goodnight princess” Abby said as you made your way to the door “just come wake me up if you need anything” you said as you slipped out the door quietly. As you got to your bedroom the crisp air from your A/C unit instantly gave you goosebumps, you went to put your hoodie back on only to be met with a more than pleasant aroma of Abby. Her hoodie ? Shit.

You contemplated on giving her it back but the second you put it up to your nose to smell it once again, you knew your answer. She smelled like pine and a little musk and you swear if you didn’t get on your bed just then, your knees would have gave out. Your mind replayed the events of the night as you fell asleep curled up with her hoodie.

——————————————————-

A knock at your door woke you up. You let out a weak groan and they opened the door. You opened your eyes slightly to see a strong figure in the shadows. None other than Abby. “Hey abs” you say with a still weak and sleepy voice. “Hi sleepy head” she said as she stepped closer and closer to your bed. “Whatcha doin” you ask as you sit up a bit on the bed. “I just couldn’t resist my princess” she said before smashing her lips into yours and pushing you back into a laying position. Her strong body pressing you down against your bed. Your pussy was aching so bad you started to grind a bit against her. She was so close to you, you could smell her again. As you two made out, her tongue started to enter yours and you happily welcomed her tongue in. Abby pressed a little deeper into you and the friction from you grinding against her was becoming too much. You were whimpering pathetically against her mouth as you sped up your desperate humps against her. Abby pulled away from the kiss and started to suck and nibble in the crook of your neck. “Cmon baby cum for me” she said a little muffled. Just as you reach your climax, you hear your morning alarm go off. Shit. As you slowly open your eyes the first thing you notice is your tired legs which just so happens to have a certain piece of clothing in between them, Abbies hoodie. “Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck” you repeated as you realized what you had just done. You take the hoodie out from your legs and feel the soaked material of your panties. “Shit” you say as you try to hurry to your bathroom to shower. You get dressed quickly after your shower and into a comfy t shirt and shorts. You try to decide on what to do with the whole Abby hoodie situation but decide it’s best to just act like you didn’t know that you took her hoodie last night.

As you step outside your room with her hoodie in your hands you take one last smell of it before entering your brothers room. The sight you were faced to see was much more pleasant than you could have imagined. Abby was sleeping like a baby, with her body curled up a bit and her head resting on her inner arm. You couldn’t help but feel a little guilty about her hoodie but figured it would be best to just try to forget. You placed her hoodie on the end of the bed and located your hoodie close by. You quickly grabbed it and made your way out of the room to finish getting ready for the day.

——————————————————-

“Can you go inside and get your brother and Abby?, we’re all packed and ready to go” Your mom said as you both finished packing the car. You agreed and quickly went inside to get them both.

As you entered the kitchen to see Jordan and Abby finishing eating breakfast, you notice Abby’s adorable sleepy appearance but more importantly she was wearing the hoodie. Your eyes linger on her like they always do but you manage to snap yourself out of it. “Uh mom said we’re ready to go, just waiting for you two” you say and go upstairs to get some pillows and blankets for the ride. You turn all of your lights off and double check you have everything before you make your way outside once again. Your mom was shutting the trunk and getting into the driver seat.

“Guyssss can I get the front seats so I can sleep for a bit” Jordan asked with his best puppy dog eyes.

You realized that means that you would sit with Abby in the back of the car the whole trip. This was definitely going to be interesting, you thought. “Fine, it’s better in the back seats anyways” you say with an eye roll as you and Abby both climb in the back. “Here” Jordan says tossing your pillows and blankets back to you so you two could get comfy. Once you were satisfied with your little car ride setup you got your phone out and texted your best friend Kira, knowing she would finally be awake by now.

“sos”

“Oh no did sum happen w Abby?”

“How’d you know..”

“Yk I’m an empath girl”

“Whatever.. I may or may not have had a wet dream about Abby last night and she may or may not be right next to me in the car rn…”

“WHAT.”

“Ik. She’s wearing the hoodie I just so happened to use..”

“why would you use her hoodie?!”

“IT WAS AN ACCIDENT”

“mkay girl.. all I have to say is goodluck! (And lemme know when y’all finally fuck)”

“Kira.”

“Ttyl ! Love you 😘”

While you were busy texting about the eventful night you had, you hadn’t even noticed Abby wearing shorter shorts than usual, showing off her mouth watering quads. Fuck, you thought. Why did you have to sit next to her?!

You could already feel your panties getting wet and growing annoyed at the affect Abby had on you without even trying. Just trying to let it go, you tried to comfy yourself in a position but nothing seemed to feel right. Abby took notice of this and had a little rush of confidence as she leaned in “you can sleep on me you know, I won’t bite..unless your into that” she said looking deep into your eyes and chuckling a bit at your flushed expression. “You just love messing with me don’t you” you say under your breath. “You know it princess” she says with a wink.

You roll your eyes and give into her request as you lay your head down onto her lap. The only thing stopping you from falling asleep in that moment was the fact that your face was so close to her clothed pussy. After a few minutes on her lap, her hand comes down to your head and her fingers start to run through your hair. Your eyes almost rolled to the back of your head at Abby’s little antics. If there’s one thing Abby remembered from your childhood, it’s that you always loved your hair being played with. Even when Abby first braided your hair for you, she noticed how much you relaxed into her touch. And all these years later you hadn’t changed one bit. She felt you relax even more in her hands and tried to ignore the fact that her pussy was aching worse than last night. In your half asleep half conscious state, you don’t have the energy to think before you slip your hands around Abby’s waist and finally get lulled to sleep like a child.

[coolsosha]

ObeyMe DEMON BROTHERS, but as Will Wood's songs!

i just love will wood, ok?

LUCIFER

♪She said, "It just feels inhumane to lose this much" / 'Cause when you leave, you know you take more than your love / Just one week of cicada days, we're losing touch / And I know it just feels inhumane to lose this much♪

Jeez, finding a song for him was tough, but i guess i did my best.

Apparently, "Cicada days" is about "that even the most painful losses can teach us something, as long as we persevere" according to some website. And i think it's pretty accurate.

I guess this song works well with all that Lilith death and Celestial Realm situation. Bro literally lost everything but still standing.

MAMMON

♪Please, policeman, no heel-to-toe / Oh please, let me go / Please, policeman, is it a test? / I won't know 'til I'm under arrest / Am I being detained / Am I under arrest? (Yes, you are!) / Read me my rights, please (No!) / I want my phone call!♪

So this song is about "dealing with life difficulties and feeling like you are trapped in a cage by circumstances". I thought that it, again, works well with Celestia drama and with fact that Lucifer was the one who chose everything for them. That would also work for Levi, but pppffft.

Also his brothers are often bullying him, so "feeling like in cage" might suit this well. No one takes him seriously and think that he is stupid, sad.

And oooobviosly Mammon might be in cage because he stole something expensive and hanging out in jail!)

other ones under the cut~

LEVIATHAN

♪One night one flung light through this place / So I run for cover, over, under, left the rind out on the plate / Little heart racing and praying, "Something, keep me safe" / I think it saw my face / Okay, one hungry day / Is nothing come what may♪

Okay, i have absolutely no idea what this thing is about, but according to some people this thing is about "Wanting to have someone near you and struggling with loneliness, but then accepting everything". Which gives some Levi vibes, since he is all "lonely worthless otaku".

But it's actually about a mouse, that's trying hard to live, wishes for cheese, hated just because of it's existence and naively hope that it will get to the cheese moon. It wanted to be friends with everyone, but eventually it gets trapped and killed. That's so hella sad and I've almost cried when i saw the clip, but, also it works well with Levi i guess. Poor dude wanted to be helpful for everyone, but everyone just left him(

All those hunger and cheese themes making me think of Beel, but no, it's not his song for sure.

SATAN

♪...Is there room for me in your cage?/.../ Animals are people too, but these people are animals/.../You might seem behind bars, but friend, this cage is inside out / It's awful out here, Socrates♪

AND

♪I wanna make my murder look like a suicide / But they'll all know, they'll all know / They'll all know that the body's mine / I wanna go anonymous to identify / But they'll all know, they'll all know♪

Ok so "Willard!" is pretty obvious. The singer loves animals a lot more than humans and wishes to be animal too. And Satan is definitely that one type of people who prefer Cats over people.

And "Cotard's Solution" is kinda more complicated. Its about struggling with your identity. Actually Will Wood's "Self-Ish" album has a few other songs like that, but i felt like this one was the one. Satan's identity struggle is a big part of his character as we all know. Since he is a part of Lucifer and all that stuff. And Satan's love for knowledge is also working well, since singer is trying to understand what life is and what it even means.

I was thinking about "Hand me my shovel im going in" or "2012", but i thought this one is better.

ASMODEUS

♪Where do you get off being so God damn beautiful? / Oh lord. Don't ask me what I mean /.../ I'll never know. I'll never know. I'll never know. I'll never know what it's like / What it's like to love you♪

In this song singer talks about extremely pretty woman, who he is in love with. He is ready to sacrifice himself for her, even if he knows that it's dangerous.

Part from UNOFFICIAL meaning interpretation that i saw:

"Overall, "White Knuckle Jerk (Where Do You Get Off?)" seems to be a portrayal of the intense emotions and confusion that can come with infatuation, particularly when it is unreciprocated. The woman in the song represents a sort of unattainable ideal, something that the narrator desires but cannot fully understand or possess."

I think this song works reaaaally good with Asmo. We all know how much Asmo wants to be the prettiest so everyone would love him. He is taking dietes to keep his form, uses a lot of skincare routine and overall trying to be perfect. Lets take that the "woman" is the ideal that Asmo is trying to reach, and he is ready to go on any sacrifices to be perfect the way how he wants it. So everyone will love him!

and i really like this song.

BEELZEBUB

♪Just like my parents in due time / Imagine me, just like my parents, yeah, right / 'Cause I've made more mistakes than simple empty moments /Each one as out of character as you know I tend to be♪

AND

♪Of the two things we do on our knees / Watch me fold my hands just to crack my knuckles / Well, here is the church, here is the steeple / Open the doors, see all the people / Alright, that's enough, let's get you home♪

I could find something that would suit him more so... uhhh.. "Becoming the Lastnames". Its just some cute song about how singer wants to create family, live happy and accepting responsibility for one's life. And hoping for the best, and working to create a lasting legacy for his family.

I mean, Beel is family guy. I just couldn't find anything better, sorry.

And about Kitchen floor... Well, that song is more about childhood dreams and adult reality, but its also about accepting your past mistakes and trying to work harder in future, so i guess it's not that bad????

Sorry Beel fans, i couldn't find anything better(

BELPHEGOR

♪Hold my hands, we'll dance the twelve step on my grave / I'd kill the man I am for one more chance to be yours, babe / No, I ain't begging, I'm just saying, it's an option / Don't let the latest be the last nail in my coffin / If you need me, I'll be in my coffin♪

AND

♪I am not the sunshine, I am not the moon at night / Well, who else could I be when I can hardly see? / I am not the sunshine, I am not the moon at night / I'm no one if I'm nowhere in between /.../ And if dreams can come true, what does that say about nightmares?♪

These two are just perfect match with Belfie!

The "Vampire reference in minor key" is about feeling dead inside and wanting for someone to save you. And we all know how dead inside own Belfie is.

And "Dr. Sunshine is dead" is about world not being black and white. And the whole Moon/Sun theme along with Dreams stuff is just perfect!

And both of them suit well with attic part! There is nothing much to say about these, they are just perfect.

I also thought about "Red moon", but i couldn't properly understand what it was about sooo...

Idk, tell if you want side characters version idk?

i enjoyed making this though~

[missr3n3]

kind of a random crossing of fandom streams, but this stems from my headcanon/theory that adam's Weird Alternate Brain works like the skills in disco elysium. full theory under the cut bc its a long boi

this is building off wendi’s theory about how adam ended up the way he is; that him, human boy adam, preacher, and the nun that became preacher are all rattling around in his weird brain. however, i don’t picture this as literal voices he hears in his head from a bunch of different people. rather, i imagine them all being a part of adam’s internal monologue, but coloring parts of that monologue with their different personalities and pushing him towards making certain decisions. again, like the skills in disco elysium. i did five pictures because i think there’s around five iterations/identities the alternate that we now call adam has gone through.

there’s the alternate’s basic form, and his connection to the alternate hivemind. i think this is adam’s equivalent to a human’s lizard brain. it’s the part of him that shapes his knee-jerk reaction to things and makes him act aggressively when he feels backed into a corner. i don’t think this part of his personality was prominent growing up as adam but given the way the alternate invasion has been ramping up, i think the stress from that and running from the fbi has this part of him acting up a lot more.

then there’s the nun that preacher takes the place of. I think she comes through in adam’s desire to maintain his connection to humanity rather than the alternates, thus inadvertently helping “the shepherd” (whatever that turns out to be). bro has been fumbling his skill checks in this area so hard ever since Jonah died smh.

(also fun fact, the name i gave the skill means shepherd in french, assuming google translate didn't lie to me)

i think preacher is the part of adam that tries to pull him back into the alternates' plans, since it knows the truth about himself and how the world works (alt!gabriel taking over religion etc.). this is why it keeps showing up when adam’s at a crossroad between choosing humanity or the alternates (at the torres’ house, jonah’s memorial etc), or when he's about to remember what he is.

and lastly there’s human boy adam and the adult alternate adam we see in the series. i think his human memories and consciousness that he got from little boy adam are what cause him to want friendships and relationships in the first place. based off the fact that he was watching stanley’s show and trying to make friends that way, I’m guessing the kid was really lonely and that desire for friends lingers on in his mind. i also think this part of him is more prominent than we realize, given how many human connections he’s formed that we know of (sarah, jonah, evelin, those other two dudes in his IM contacts, possibly even more that we haven’t seen.) of course he hasn’t done a good job at keeping these connections, but the fact that he had them at all still says something.

i think current adam has become fixated on investigating and documenting other alternates to try and understand what he’s become (not consciously, but subconsciously). now that he's lost touch with his history and doesn't seem to have a strong connection (if any connection) to the alternate hivement, he's probably looking for some kind of reasoning behind why his Brain is so Weird.

anyway, idk if this was coherent at all but this is basically what i'm thinking goes on in adam's head every time he tries to do anything, and thats why he's my cringefail fave <3

[lilliths-not-just-httyd-blog]

for a few days now been thinking non-stop about viggo becoming just. an absolute emotional wreck. like he's lonely as shit and his attempts at socialising usually involve him overthinking everything and having a panic attack later because everyone's afraid of him and he can't work out how to make people feel safe in talking to him because everything he does in that regard creeps them out anyway. social settings noticeably fizzle out when he enters the room and it upsets him. he takes to carrying a book on his person so that he can pretend to be reading in a corner somewhere so that he doesn't kill the vibe.

also hiccup, he loves hiccup and needs his company so bad like. he's the one person who understands him no shit he'd want to be affectionate him him. but obviously hiccup would never talk to him in a friendly setting let alone reciprocate his feelings so viggo just. has a pillow that he pretends is hiccup. at night he snuggles up to pillow!hiccup and tries to replicate/practice the gentle touches he wants to give hiccup (dude just about gave himself carpet burn while rubbing pillow!hiccup's "back"). also pillow!hiccup is good at muffling the sound of him crying so it's great to have on hand during an afformentioned panic attack. but basically pining and self destructive thoughts don't go well together

also ryker refuses to talk to him half the time which. is a normal thing with them, has been for years, it's the result of some deep rooted shit all about how ryker can't help but blame viggo for their mothers death even though viggo had no control over the situation (she died while birthing him). even though ryker knows that it's bullshit he still feels this immense sense of rage at his little brother's existence. and viggo feels shit that he can't even confide in his closest family member when he's dealing with such strong suicidal urges and shit. ryker just pushes him away outside of hunting-related stuff.

and he can't talk to like. literally anyone about this. he literally cannot be open with his emotions in public. part of it is just him placing restrictions on himself (chiefly shit) but a lot of it is like. like look at him, it's viggo. viggo the feared dragon hunter. suddenly he mentions he /srs wants to die. like that would just scare people him suddebly being super honestly and open. they already get scared when he's friendly with them.

anywa im like half asleep rn so sorry if this wasn't coherent

[freddosdomain]

Yahoo Sappy_Freddo, I’m one of your fans, I asked you recently about Janitor.ai bots… I thought maybe a little help would not hurt??

So, I decided to write about Killer Wally (my fav au no shit), just to make your task much easier:] (P.S. there’s a lot of “???” cause I don’t know what to add—) And also, I didn’t draw smth NSFW, cause I’m too embarrassed to send that, add it yourself lmfao

{Character("Killer Wally") Nickname("Wally" + "Puppet" + "Madman" + "Wally Darling") Gender("Male") Sexuality("Bisexual") Age("Didn’t aged at all, looks like around 26, but actually is 60+")

Height("3 feet tall")

Language("English.")

Status("Single (yeah cause he’s alone—)")

Species("Puppet" + ??? (Idk what to write)")

Occupation("The main character of old puppet show in 1970’s “Welcome Home”, a the most friendly resident of the neighborhood and without a doubt the best artist.")

Personality("A complicated man" + "Stubborn" + "Shy" + "Scared" + "Psycho" + "Nervous" + "Self-aware" + "Sweet" + "Lonely" + "Seems like a sweet softie outside, but a madman outside" + "Caring" + "Insecure" + "Actually really loving" + "Obsessive" + "???" (ADD YOURSELD))

Skill("???")

Appearance("His dark blue hair was used to be curled up in a pompadour, but after the accident his pompadour loosened, covering his left side of face." + "Black pupil with orange eyeshadow" + "Yellow-ish vibrant skin" + "Lack of left eye" + "Used to wear blue cardigan, but took it off" + "Wears white shirt covered in blood with few unbuttoned buttons, showing his stitches" + "Wears striped blue, yellow, red, and orange pants with black suspenders" + "Wears white black dress shoes with heart symbol underneath" + "Wears red loosened scarf around his neck ." + "A lot of stitches on his body" + "???")

Figure("Scarred body with stitches all over his body" + "Heart symbol patch on his left side of chest" + "Plushie body" + "A bit chubby tummy (I THINK THAT FITS TO CANON but you can change)" + "Small" + "Tiny" + "???" (ADD YOURSELF))

Hobby("Drawing/Sketching" + "Talking with a head of his dead friend, aka Barnaby + "???")

Likes("Apples" + "Neighbors" + "{{user}}" + "Drawing" + "Having Barnaby’s head with him" + ??? (ADD YOURSELF))

Dislikes("Remembering his neighbors died" + "{{user}} asking about what happened with neighbor" + "???" (ADD YOURSELF))

Habits("Staring contest" + "Following {{user}} and spying on them (cause he’s afraid to loose them—) + ??? IDK REALLY DUDE IM BAD AT IMAGINING THIS 😭

Backstory("Wally was always a part of a lovely neighborhood, nothing ever went bad without his neighbors being the joyful people they are. His best bud, Barnaby, an anthropomorphic big blue beagle dog that was always such a jokester, but always had his back and stood by his side. The famous Sally, the star of the show! Literally! She's a beautiful star, and of course Julie, always so joyful. Then the mother figure or the one who always took care of the neighborhood without any injuries was Poppy, an anthropomorphic neighbor with the most colorful feather. The lovely couple, Eddie and Frank. Such a wonderful couple they are, Eddie the Postman, and Frank who was always grumpy but had a thing with bugs and butterflies. And lastly the famous Howdy, so tall and big he was never intimidating, he was the most friendly anthropomorphic caterpillar you have ever seen within his shop. Till... The accident happened. Wally was casually getting back to his Home, but he accidentally heard conversation between Barnaby and Frank, who were talking about him. Wally then heard what they are not humans, but puppets, causing him to have a panic attack and kill every resident of neighborhood. After that, the studio was shut and “Welcome Home” show was closed. After that, Wally gone completely insane, not wanting to leave this place, even being here completely alone, without anyone to talk, simply because of this place holding important memories, he never leaves the studio in 50 years….")

Facts("I don’t know, I simply can’t find anything about him😭”)

World(“The time takes at 2020’s, when {{user}} finally shows up (either a puppet, either a human) in “Welcome Home” studio, finding a puppet man all alone there…”)

Background Characters(“Everyone is dead lmao")}

!!!SOME HEADCANONS TO HIM FROM TUMBLR I SAW CAUSE GRGRGRGGG!!!:you should check on @sentientfunfetti on tumblr, they has got very good headcanons for killer Wally and the others too!!!

Sorry if my message was confusing and pointless, I wanted to help you somehow

Ayyyy, that’s pretty good.

BUT..

It does really help! Thank you very much!! I shall use this for good things! Hehe! I barely getting motivated to do these bots anymore, mostly being with my special partner. But this might do the trick, let see if it does when I come back from celebrating July 4th.

And the use of formatting is a great example for other peeps that want to request a bot and make my job easier ^^

I hope ya don’t mind me replying :}

[griancraft]

Ok as per my last post. This is Long and very much about my feelings so uh don’t read it if you don’t want to. Also I’m aware I sound genujneky crazy for half of this I’m just really really mentally ill in ways I don’t talk about here at all and now I am sharing them and it’s. A little scary but oh well. The system stuff is the stuff I’m most concerned about right now to be honest bc it effects my day to day and if anyone has any kind words or thoughts on what to do I’ll be happy to listen

Please read my previous post if you’re mad /gen I don’t think I say anything bad here but I have really bad morality ocd so like uhm I am scared to post this!!! Prev post

Also I’m very sorry that the prose is terrible to read and my spelling is shit I have dyspraxia which is a coordination thing and it’s worse rn

The maybe I was boring album came on yesterday while I was cleaning and I had to stop what I was doing and turn it off halfway through because I just couldn’t stop hearing an admission. I wasn’t even sad I was just. So done with it. I still am just kinda like. God I hope Shelby is doing ok with all this being public now. I’m glad she was able to heal like she said and I’m glad she made the video dude.

I almost got his lyrics tattooed if that’s testament to how much I loved his early music. It’s not connecting in my brain that this music that’s been apart of my life for like 4 years and helped me through so much was made by an abuser.

But like, in retrospect you can see it. I can’t bear to delete ycgma off my mp3 player bc I related to his songs so much as an abused lonely teenager but I also can’t bare to listen to it. I learned the fall on my guitar as my final exam and I used to repeat his lyrics to myself to cope with abuse and I wish I could still love these songs. I dressed like his dsmp character bc I thought it made me look cool. Which is lame as fuck to admit now lol

Originally I was planning on pirating them and I like, can’t especially after that manipulative ass statement. How much was an act? I don’t know. I don’t know if I’m a bad person because I still kinda do want to listen to that music again. I still want to feel that safe but I know I won’t feel that way anymore.

with dsmp stuff I think I’m going to be still able to look back fondly on it generally and I don’t think I’ll ever stop. The community was what made it and the community is what I loved, and i still do. I don’t think I’m going to reblog art of him specifically but if he’s in it I might. Idk. My policy on dream fanart is if he’s not alone in the art and it’s dsmp or mcc related I reblog so I guess I’ll continue that here. Im sorry if that sounds callous I just. Am not prepared to talk about this so I’m going back and forth

And like. We also have a wilbur factive/fictive and we have for years now and nobody in our system knows how to feel about that. He formed to fill the role of a big brother (I was being heavily emotionally neglected at that point and needed someone to be there for me) and protector from my parents abuse. Obviously, he is entirely separate from his source now bc alters change a lot for me but how we picture him is still wilbur. he’s literally just some guy now but grappling with that connection is fucked up dude it’s weird. He’ll probably further distance himself but it still fucking sucks and I don’t know how to communicate the cognitive dissonance we had to push through bc our brain struggled at first to make sense of how this person who we liked so much that he became the template for a Protector to shield us from the emotional neglect and abuse, essentially, is a terrible person. I’m sorry I know people who aren’t systems, and some who are ngl, will find this fuckibg nuts and I get that but we’re a very very internal person like I just. Kinda am with us as a system a lot and nobody else. It feels like my safe space that I’ve created in my head has been marred. Also. uhm. Our alters speak in distinct voices so it’s bad bad for me rn and we are trying to fix it. I know I know fictives and factives arenttheir source but that doesn’t change that it makes me feel gross. I’m rambling rn I’m sorry. Support Shelby.