#dude Lou was on the rookie
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#dude Lou was on the rookie#youtube wanted to let me know#i didn't know this#Lou Ferrigno Jr.#so basically 911 and the rookie exist in the same universe okay?#im convinced#now lets do that crossover somehow#911 abc#the rookie#tim x lucy#chenford kind of#funny shit#small world#tim bradford#lucy chen#so Lou got to work with Chenford and Buddie lucky duck#2x17
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I gotta say this fandom is starting to feel like my family gatherings,
Every time I bring a new dude to some event, they have already endgamed us and invisioned our future kids together.
Very funny in my eyes.
Tommy has just arrived, and though he is cute and funny and sexy, and tbh if I were a gay man, I'd climb him like a tree and refuse to come down.
But Buck literally just called himself an ally (sorry, still bursting out laughing every time I write it) Tommy is not in endgame position yet, he's just a get to know thy self to Buck at the moment.
Do I wish for them to have some hot ally sex? Absolutely!
Would I consider them endgame, I'm not optimistic.
I don't know if it will buddie or not, but as I've witnessed with some of my gay friends when they were newly minted out of the closet experience. The first venture into the unknown rarely becomes domestic bliss.
They all switched dozens (being gentle, lol) boyfriends before settling on the right partner. And they didn't have a nearly ten year Eddie in that corner closet. 👀
So Lou is great and all and I hope we keep him. But he feels like Lucy's Chris from The Rookie before she got together with Bradford.
(Sidenote, I loved Chris! He was so right for her. And I actually shipped Chenford, lol. It was bittersweet for me😅)
#911 speculation#evan buckley#tommy kinard#eddie diaz#rookie comparison#lucy and chris were perfect#lucy with tim are a match made in heaven#911 spoilers#buddie
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Sunday, November 28, 2021 Canadian TV Listings (Times Eastern)
WHERE CAN I FIND THOSE PREMIERES?: CHRISTMAS IN TAHOE (W Network) 6:00pm 2021 SOUL TRAIN AWARDS (BET Canada) 8:00pm BUDDY VS. DUFF: HOLIDAY (Food Network Canada) 8:00pm THE CHRISTMAS CONTEST (W Network) 8:00pm CHRISTMAS IS YOU (CTV Drama) 8:00pm HARRY POTTER: HOGWARTS TOURNAMENT OF HOUSES (Crave) 8:15pm THE HOT ZONE: ANTHRAX (Nat Geo Canada) 9:00pm THE REAL HOUSEWIVES OF ATLANTA PORSHA'S FAMILY MATTERS (Slice) 9:00pm DJ CASSIDY'S PASS THE MIC: BET SOUL TRAIN EDITION (BET Canada) 10:00pm
WHAT IS NOT PREMIERING IN CANADA TONIGHT THE GREAT CHRISTMAS LIGHT FIGHT (ABC Feed) ONE LAST TIME: AN EVENING WITH TONY BENNETT AND LADY GAGA (CBS Feed) THE WONDERFUL WORLD OF DISNEY: MAGICAL HOLIDAY CELEBRATION (ABC Feed) THE WALTON’S HOMECOMING (CW Feed/Premiering on December 11 on Vision TV at 4:00pm) MODERN MARVELS (Premiering on November 30 on History Canada at 9:00pm) THE TOYS THAT BUILT AMERICA (Premiering on November 30 on History Canada at 10:00pm) DOCTOR’S ORDERS (TBD - Investigation Discovery) MIRACLE IN MOTOR CITY (TBD - Lifetime Canada)
NEW TO AMAZON PRIME/CRAVE/NETFLIX CANADA/CBC GEM:
CRAVE HARRY POTTER: HOGWARTS TOURNAMENT OF HOUSES (Season 1, Episode 1)
NETFLIX CANADA ELVES
DAVIS CUP (SN1/SN Now) 4:00am: Canada vs. Kazakhstan
TIM HORTONS CURLING TRIALS (TSN2) 7:00am: Men’s Final (TSN3/TSN5) 12:00pm: Women’s Final
NHL HOCKEY (SN) 1:00pm: Capitals vs. Hurricanes (SN) 7:00pm: Canucks vs. Bruins (TSN4) 8:00pm: Leafs vs. Ducks
CFL FOOTBALL (TSN/TSN4) 1:00pm: Alouettes vs. Ti-Cats (TSN/TSN3/TSN4) 4:30pm: Stamps vs. Roughriders
NFL FOOTBALL (TSN2/TSN5) 1:00pm: Eagles vs. Giants (TSN2/TSN5) 4:00pm: Chargers vs. Broncos (TSN5) 8:15pm: Browns vs. Ravens
MLS SOCCER (TSN5) 3:00pm: Sporting KC vs. Real Salt Lake (TSN5) 5:30pm: Philadelphia vs. Nashville
FIBA BASKETBALL (SN) 4:00pm: Men's World Cup Qualifying - Canada vs. Bahamas NBA BASKETBALL (SN1) 6:00pm: Celtics vs. Raptors (SN1) 9:30pm: Pistons vs. Lakers
HEARTLAND (CBC) 7:00pm: The man who shot Ty returns to Hudson and Amy and the rest of the family grapple with how to react; Jessica enlists Katie and Parker's help to deal with a demanding Dude Ranch guest while Lou is away...with HORSIES!
THE GREAT CANADIAN BAKING SHOW (CBC) 8:00pm: Only four bakers remain for the delicately delicious Patisserie Week and their last bid to make it to the finale.
BACHELOR IN PARADISE CANADA (City TV) 8:00pm: A new arrival brings a fresh spark to Paradise while an established couple makes a decision that shocks their fellow campers.
LIFE BELOW ZERO CANADA (APTN) 8:00pm: Becky braves sub-zero temperatures to fish a remote, frozen lake; Pike Mike searches for a precious source of bush medicine; Kim and Pierre break camp and begin their winter trapping season. Bentley heads cross-county with a fishing boat in tow.
THE GREAT BRITISH SEWING BEE (Makeful) 8:00pm: It’s Lingerie Week and the sewers work with the fiddliest of pattern pieces and the most delicate fabric.
THE CURSE OF OAK ISLAND: DIGGING DEEPER (History Canada) 8:00pm: The team is unstoppable when more evidence suggests the stone roadway heads directly towards the Money Pit; but when delicate discoveries are made in the swamp, the fellowship faces the possibility of a government shutdown.
A PICTURE PERFECT HOLIDAY (Lifetime Canada) 8:00pm: A fashion photographer and a wildlife photographer must decide if they're willing to take a risk to share a picture-perfect holiday together.
MARRY ME THIS CHRISTMAS (Super Channel Heart & Home) 8:00pm: When a parishioner asks the new pastor to marry her, he takes the question the wrong way.
A SUITABLE BOY (CBC) 9:00pm
OUTBACK OPAL HUNTERS (Discovery Canada) 9:00pm: There's tension among the rookies as a new partner leads them on a wild goose chase; the Cooke brothers' season is off to a bad and dangerous start.
FLIPPING SHOWDOWN (HGTV Canada) 9:00pm (SERIES PREMIERE): With a $30,000 budget and six weeks to finish round one, teams struggle to stay on time and under budget designing a flip that'll attract buyers; as the deadline to reveal their kitchens to Ken and Anita approaches, the pressure begins to boil over.
ONE OF OURS (Documentary) 9:00pm: Josiah Wilson is a Haitian, Heiltsuk French Canadian who just wants to play basketball but ends up at a human rights tribunal instead.
BACHELOR AFTER SHOW: AFTER PARADISE (City TV) 9:30pm
THE CURSE OF OAK ISLAND (History Canada) 10:00pm: Faced with the threat of a shut down in the swamp, the team focuses their energy on the Money Pit and are euphoric when they find more gold, with evidence suggesting it's of Spanish origin.
FOREVER YOUNG: SEARCHING FOR THE FOUNTAIN OF YOUTH (Global) 10:00pm: Jane Pauley hosts a look at the wonders, rewards and challenges of growing older; actress Candice Bergen; actor Billy Crystal; promising research into drugs and therapies that might slow, or even reverse, aging itself; comic Jim Gaffigan.
#cdntv#cancon#canadian tv#canadian tv listings#heartland#the great canadian baking show#bachelor in paradise canada#life below zero canada#the great british sewing bee#the curse of oak island: digging deeper#a suitable boy#outback opal hunters#the curse of oak island#tennis#curling#nhl hockey#cfl football#nfl football#mls soccer#fiba basketball#nba basketball
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When MLB’s best team also blew a 12-run lead
Here’s what it was like to watch one of baseball’s biggest comebacks ... from the wrong side
I am a Mariners fan, which has led to many bad sports nights. The worst began with Dave Burba slopping what I can only assume was his take on a cut fastball a few inches off the plate away. Ichiro was at bat, Mark McLemore on deck, the twilight was falling on a beautiful Ohio evening, and the Cleveland Indians were hosting the 80-31 Seattle Mariners.
I’d never seen the Mariners on television before. I moved to Seattle when I was 10 and was a boring enough child to fall in love with baseball after my first visit to the Kingdome. Thanks to the vagaries of cable, however, I had to follow my team via radio and once-yearly excursions to the ballpark. That’s not necessarily a bad thing when you have Dave Neihaus guiding you through your favorite team’s golden age*, but it did leave me starved for non-aural baseball.
*As it turns out, 1995-2003 was also the Mariners’ only non-fecal age.
So starved, in fact, every time Seattle made it to a national broadcast, I would try to watch. And every time, for literally years, I’d get notified that, so sorry, your game has been blacked out. Until, suddenly, on Aug. 5, 2001, it worked. I was baffled by this turn of events, of course, but decided to take it as a note of benevolence from a higher power, and settled in to watch.
Pitch number two was in more or less the same place as Burba’s first offering. Three was an 84-mph fastball down the middle that Ichiro apparently thought would be too embarrassing to hit, a decision which cost him when he was called out on strikes a few pitches later. So far so bad, a younger, more innocent me must have thought.
The 2001 Indians were a good team and could pitch. A little bit. Bartolo Colon was in his intimidating pomp, and the arrival of rookie left-hander C.C. Sabathia helped give their rotation a one-two punch which was entirely irrelevant when Burba (or anyone else — Cleveland essentially ran a AAA rotation beyond the big two) was on the mound. At his best, Burba was slightly better than pure filler, but at 34 he was no longer at his best, and he was going up against a Mariners team that was set to absolutely torch him. Now he was up against Mark McLemore, who struck out too. Then Edgar Martinez chopped out to third.
If you follow baseball, you’re probably aware of this game, at least tangentially. And therefore you’re aware that this was something more disastrous than what was threatened in the top of the first: a mediocre pitcher chewing his way through a very good lineup. That’s a bad day, but not a traumatic one. Four batters into the game, when Kenny Lofton cracked a ground ball single back through the box, and hard, I feared a bad day. How disappointing it would be to have my first televised Mariners experience be a frustrating loss!
Aaron Sele wriggled his way out of the bottom of the first, which gives me a good opportunity to drop in this still from a between-innings commercial:
I think Pontiac would have been proud of how they’ve shaped modern society.
The Mariners scored four times in the top of the second. Two ill-considered dives produced a pair of hustle doubles, sandwiched around a Mike Cameron blast which bounced off the wall but would have gone about 20 rows deep if he’d been hitting the 2019 baseball. Ichiro then plated a pair with a delicate lob to left. Seattle was rolling, and I was happy.
I was still happier after the third. That inning went something like this:
Single Single Single Double Single Single Hit By Pitch Sacrifice Fly Walk Error Single Strikeout Lineout
It was worth eight runs and took the score to 12-0. No baseball team in 75 years had come back from a 12-run deficit. The Indians, who’d already been beaten twice at home by Seattle that weekend and were starting to look in trouble in the AL Central race, were staring at a blowout. No baseball team in 75 years had come back from a 12-run deficit.
Then one did. This game is in the record books as the greatest comeback of all time, the one in which Cleveland clawed their way back from a ludicrous deficit to win the game in extras. Blowing a 12-run lead over any length of time is difficult enough, but the sheer scope of the Mariners’ collapse is extraordinary. The teams each scored two runs in the middle innings, leaving the score at 14-2 during the seventh-inning stretch. The Indians had to compress history (and, for me, misery) into three innings.
They did so without the heart of their fearsome batting order. By the time the comeback began, both lineups had seen a slew of changes. Ichiro, Martinez, and Olerud were on the bench, as were Alomar, Juan Gonzalez, and Ellis Burks. The only really dangerous bats left available to either team were Jim Thome and Bret Boone, and the latter had been given the day off anyway. Despite the two clubs sending seven hitters to the 2001 MLB All-Star game, only Mike Cameron played the full 11 innings of what was to prove one of the most memorable games of the decade.
Anyway. By the middle of the seventh, I was in a pretty good mood. I was getting to watch (not listen!) to one of the greatest teams of all time kick the ever-loving shit out of some pretty capable opposition, and although it was a little annoying that most of the big bats were out of the game, all the Mariners needed to do to ensure my evening finished happily was not blow a 12-run lead.
AN ASIDE: Whatever happened to this dude? Did we lose him during our difficult transition to being a civilization of Mango Freaks?
END ASIDE
Through six innings, Sele had given up six hits, a walk, and two runs. Russell Branyan, on for Burks, greeted him with a screaming line drive into the right centre field seats. 14-3. The comeback was on. Only, it didn’t really look it. Two batters later and the Indians needed 11 runs to tie the game, and had seven outs to do it. Solo home runs weren’t going to do it.
If we had to pick a turning point, the plate appearance which made all that followed possible, it might be Lofton’s walk. With two outs, Einar Diaz smacked a two-hopper up the middle and well out of Carlos Guillen’s reach, but Sele was still cruising and quickly got Lofton 0-2 thanks to a generous called strike and a foul ball. One more strike would have sent the Indians into the eighth inning in an (even more) impossible hole. Sele threw exactly zero more strikes.
Lofton took four straight fastballs away. None of them were close. Omar Vizquel followed that up with a four-pitch walk, and suddenly Sele, who averaged just 2.1 walks per nine innings for the entire 2001 season, had walked the bases loaded. The clouds were gathering. Lou Piniella seeded them further by going to blowout specialist John Halama.
Halama, part of the return for Randy Johnson in 1998, was a terrible pitcher, AAA no-hitter aside. He somehow logged 110 innings for the 2001 Mariners, which is remarkable considering he didn’t strike anyone out and got absolutely blitzed by opposing hitters. The ‘01 Mariners had one of the strongest bullpens ever assembled, headlined by Kazuhiro Sasaki, Arthur Rhodes, and Jeff Nelson. Even the best bullpens, however, have their fair share of dreck. With an 11-run cushion and someone named Jolbert Cabrera at the plate, dreck should have been fine.
It was not fine. Cabrera took a big swing on a changeup away, and yanked the ball into left. That fooled Martin, who froze, took a step backwards and then charged in, allowing the ball to drop a step or two in front of him. Two runs would score, and the seventh inning ultimately ended, 14-5.
The Mariners’ bats seem to have considered their job done. After the fifth, they went a combined 3-18, with three singles. Having scored 14 runs in that early blitz, they quite reasonably went into cruise control. They’d never come back out.
Meanwhile, the Indians were treating Halama like a piñata. Thome, whose two-run home run in the fourth got Cleveland on the board, flipped a 2-1 “fastball” into the left field corner for another homer. 14-6. Marty Cordova joined him in the home run parade after a Branyan hit-by-pitch — 14-8. Suddenly the game was within reach, and after a pair of singles Halama was done. Norm Charlton was called in from the pen.
Charlton wasn’t one of the big three Mariners relievers, but he wasn’t bad either, and Piniella would have been expecting him to hold down a six-run lead even in a tricky spot. He probably should have, too. Vizquel was jammed on a 95-mph fastball away, but he somehow kept it fair and the ball looped down the left field line for a double and a 14-9 score. The Mariners then got a break in this breakless of games — Lofton misread a ball which bounced off Tom Lampkin’s right leg and was thrown out trying to score, which allowed Charlton to escape to the ninth with a five-run lead.
I didn’t yet know to be nervous. Eighteen years ago, the Seattle Mariners were not the Seattle Mariners™. They had not yet become the unbridled force for misery which has shaped the way I look at sports. Their playoff drought was zero years. They had reached the ALCS in 2000, they would again in 2001. They were phenomenal, and I expected them to win more or less whenever they played, whatever the situation. And when they lost ... well, that happened. I suppose. Infrequently.
Ed Taubensee led off the bottom of the ninth with a single. With Thome and Branyan next up, the situation looked perilous, but Charlton made quick work of them. Two outs, down five, and a runner on first? That should have been game over. Then the wheels really came off.
I hadn’t watched this inning since I saw the calamity unfold live, but it’s seared into my memory regardless. Cordova absolutely crushed a pitch off the left-field wall to knock Charlton out of the game. Nelson was summoned. He got Wil Cordero to 3-2, then struck him out looking on a wicked slider:
Well, he should have struck him out with that slider. Instead was called ball four. Missed calls have been more egregious, of course, but this one had a profound effect on my young psyche, for six pitches later Nelson himself was knocked out of the game by a line drive into left off Diaz’s bat — 14-11. Suddenly it was a save situation, and it was clear to teenage me that something had gone terribly wrong.
I was ‘watching’ with my hands over my eyes as Lofton scooched a single past David Bell to bring up the go-ahead run in Vizquel. Not a soul in Jacobs Field was sitting down. This was it. Sasaki started Vizquel off with a splitter that he swung over for strike one. A second splitter followed, well out of the zone. The battle would end up lasting some time.
Baseball is a sport devoted to tension. Stress is the soul of the game and has been since the foul-ball rules were finalized. In a sport with a clock, key moments are just that: moments. They come, they go, they are finished with and done in a flash. Baseball stretches its moments and its fans to a breaking point. I am reliably informed that during Vizquel’s at-bat I was having what looked like a small seizure. All I really remember is the creeping horror, every pitch promising redemption or catastrophe but only serving to prolong the moment and ratchet up the stress.
Sasaki’s fifth pitch to Vizquel was a 91-mph fastball down the middle and at the knees, called a ball for reasons I suspect are related to the will of some malevolent deity. Pitch six was just about fouled off, an emergency swing sending a splitter trickling off behind home plate. Pitch seven was popped into the stands on the third base side. And then pitch eight was guided by the despotic hand of fate onto the label of Vizquel’s bat.
The subsequent weak grounder was perfectly placed, right down the first base line. Ed Sprague was a) playing in and b) not John Olerud, so his desperate dive ended in failure. Lofton was 34, and not as fast as he once was, but the ball was so well-placed — and the Mariners’ defense so thoroughly depleted — that he scored from first with 40 feet to spare. 14-14. Tie game.
For some reason I watched to the bitter end, even though extra innings were essentially and entirely denouement. Cleveland had already won the game by drawing level, and the Mariners had already lost it by blowing the biggest lead in MLB history. Cabrera’s walk-off single in the bottom of the 11th marked only the final blow in a disaster that had already unfolded.
Eighteen years later, this still haunts me. Not like it did then, when it was merely a humiliation, a nationally televised scandal of a game in what was otherwise an enormously successful season. But now, with the Mariners mired in year after year of pain, when the organization considers mediocrity aspirational, it’s hard not to see this as a harbinger of the misery to come, an early visitation of the Mariners in their true colors.
Sometimes I wonder if the current incarnation of the team, the one slowly draining the hope out of my fandom since 2004, is somehow inhabited by the ghost of Aug. 5. It’s ridiculous, of course — a single game, record books or not, has no bearing whatsoever on the standings 18 years later.
But. Still. What if?
Correction: This article originally stated that no team in history had ever come back from a 12-run deficit. In fact, it had happened twice prior to 2001, most recently in 1925.
This article originally ran before Secret Base launched, but it’s a very us story, and we like to think it’s worth reading. So here it is again!
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One Thing the NHL Award Voters Didn't Screw Up Was Taylor Hall as MVP
The 2018 NHL Awards show may have felt like it lasted five hours but it only ran [checks watch] two hours and 15 minutes? Holy shit, that can't be right, can it? I've seen Greg Maddux pitch quicker baseball games than that. How did giving out a handful of sports trophies become such a bloated event?
Watch how quickly I can whittle this show down to 90 minutes:
CUT OUT THE LADY BYNG AWARD — Nobody cares and voting (more below) shows voters don't really care, either. Give it away before the show the way the Academy Awards give out the best foreign language animated documentary editing awards weeks earlier in the basement of a Dave & Busters.
NO MORE MAGIC SHOWS — Did we really watch a seven-minute "is this your card" trick? Is this because the show is in Vegas? Let those oiled up dancing guys present an award if you want some Vegas flavor. Stopping the show for a rejected set piece from the Now You See Me 3 script isn't something anyone wants.
NO MORE VIDEO GAME COVER REVEALS — This is very much me being old and shaking my fist at a cloud, but sell your video game during commercial breaks, assholes.
NO MORE JACOB TREMBLAY INTERVIEWS — A trained child actor can't make uncomfortable hockey players fun. Just let the kid host next year.
Listen to the latest episode of Biscuits, VICE Sports' hockey podcast
NO MORE SAP STAT THINGIES — Nothing says excitement and pageantry and fun like some dorky-ass facts and figures about some dude's stats. Again: SELL YOUR PRODUCT DURING COMMERCIAL BREAKS.
I think if you give me enough time I can trim this show to an action-packed hour but we need to move on to the awards and discuss who won, who should have won, and which voters made us laugh the hardest.
NORRIS TROPHY
Winner: Victor Hedman, Tampa Bay Lightning Runners-up: PK Subban, Nashville Predators; Drew Doughty, Los Angeles Kings
Did they get it right? Yes. Hedman, however, is lucky the PHWA gave Doughty his lifetime achievement Norris Trophy a few years ago because his numbers were good enough this season to warrant the sympathy trophy.
What was the funniest vote? There are a lot of worthy choices (Jaccob Slavin was fifth on a ballot!) but this space is dedicated to the PHWA voter who thought Dougie Hamilton was the second-best defenseman in the NHL this season. Hamilton was named on just three of 164 ballots—he was voted fifth on the two others—so either one renegade voter saw something no one else did or a local Calgary media member got too close to the situation.
CALDER TROPHY
Winner: Mat Barzal, New York Islanders Runners-up: Brock Boeser, Vancouver Canucks; Clayton Keller, Arizona Coyotes
Did they get it right? Yes. And by "they" I mean the PHWA voters and not Lou Lamoriello, whose archaic hair rules left Barzal with a much shorter haircut than what he could have had on a special night.
What was the funniest vote? There was nothing too egregious but I'd like to say hi to the Boston voter who felt Jake DeBrusk was the fifth-best rookie in the NHL.
LADY BYNG TROPHY
Winner: William Karlsson, Vegas Golden Knights Runners-up: Ryan O'Reilly, Buffalo Sabres; Aleksander Barkov, Florida Panthers
Did they get it right? Sure. Who knows? Karlsson seems nice. I'm sure he says "sir" and "madam" and knows which one is the salad fork at the royal castle. I have no idea why this award exists.
What was the funniest vote? This award is dumb but the criteria is very clear — be gentlemanly. So most voters just look for guys with a lot of points and few penalty minutes. The problem with that is it leaves a blind spot that leads to Auston Matthews finishing eighth in voting (with six first-place votes) and Connor McDavid finishing 10th (with two first-place votes). Why is this funny?
McDavid was hit with an abuse of officials penalty in January and Matthews mocked a referee a few days earlier by pointing at the net after scoring a goal because an earlier goal was disallowed. Were those two things fantastic? You bet. Would I like to see more of this? Oh yeah.
But it should disqualify them from getting any votes for "gentlemanly" play during that season. You may as well have a Tallest Player Award and give it to Mats Zuccarello.
SELKE TROPHY
Winner: Anze Kopitar, Los Angeles Kings Runners-up: Sean Couturier, Philadelphia Flyers; Patrice Bergeron, Boston Bruins
Did they get it right? No. I mean, I guess not. I don't know. Why is there a best defensive forward award but not a best offensive defenseman award? More sports need extremely narrow awards for specific positions. Baseball can adopt a best infielder base runner. Football can honor the best tight end route runners. But apparently Kopitar wasn't as good this year as he has been in the past. They should just give it to Bergeron every year until he decides it's time to give it to Brad Marchand.
What was the funniest vote? Nobody voted for a defenseman or goaltender so this vote is devoid of humor.
JACK ADAMS AWARD
Winner: Gerard Gallant, Vegas Golden Knights Runners-up: Jared Bednar, Colorado Avalanche; Bruce Cassidy, Boston Bruins
Did they get it right? Yes. In any other season, Bednar runs away with this and there's a case to be made he deserved it more than Gallant, but guiding an expansion team to a 100-point season made this automatic. They survived two months during the first half without Marc-Andre Fleury and still cruised to a playoff spot.
What was the funniest vote? I'd like to meet the two people who felt Randy Carlyle of the Anaheim Ducks was the second-best coach, which means they felt Carlyle did a better job than either Gallant or Bednar. I'm putting my money on one of those votes coming from Steve Simmons.
VEZINA TROPHY
Winner: Pekka Rinne, Nashville Predators Runners-up: Andrei Vasilevskiy, Tampa Bay Lightning; Connor Hellebuyck, Winnipeg Jets
Did they get it right? Yeah, but who did John Gibson piss off among the general managers who voted for this award? Somehow he finished sixth behind Frederik Andersen, who somehow finished fourth with a first-place vote despite a pedestrian .918 save percentage. Apparently the Hockey Men can be just as bad at voting as people who Never Played The Game.
What was the funniest vote? Easily, it's the guy who felt Andersen was the best goaltender in the NHL this season. We likely will never figure out which GM cast this vote, but my guess is Marc Bergevin. Why? Because Andersen went 3-0 with a .950 save percentage against the Canadiens this season, and that's the sort of dumbass shit Bergevin would do. If this ever gets confirmed, please tweet a screenshot of this paragraph with the link to the story, because clicks are always nice.
GENERAL MANAGER OF THE YEAR
Winner: George McPhee, Vegas Golden Knights Runners-up: Kevin Cheveldayoff, Winnipeg Jets; Steve Yzerman, Tampa Bay Lightning
Did they get it right? No! Here's the thing—we give the Jack Adams to the coach of the team we all thought would be crap before the season that turned out to be awesome. The reason we think a team is crap is how the GM builds it. So how can Gallant be the best coach if he's simply coaching the team assembled by the best GM? You can't have both! This is also a flawed award because Cheveldayoff (he should have won!) slowly built the team over many years. McPhee did some nice things in the expansion draft but tricking Dale Tallon into giving you two studs for nothing isn't a big deal when Tallon probably still falls for the "got your nose" trick.
What was the funniest vote? This award is chosen by a swath of front-office and media types, so please let me meet the person who decided Ron Hextall was GM of the Year so I can take an Amtrak down to Philadelphia and have a Yuengling with this local.
HART TROPHY
Winner: Taylor Hall, New Jersey Devils Runners-up: Nathan MacKinnon, Colorado Avalanche; Anze Kopitar, Los Angeles Kings
Did they get it right? Yes! Surprisingly! And the vote was close—Hall edged MacKinnon by 70 points and held a 72-60 advantage in first-place votes. Hall had a slightly better MVP case and he won by a margin that presented that case. I went through all the ballots, looked very closely, and it turns out nobody casted a Hart vote for Adam Larsson.
What was the funniest vote? There wasn't anything all that "what an idiot" funny but a very "huh, that's funny" vote was Sidney Crosby getting just one fifth-place vote and nothing else. He had 89 points in 82 games, finished 10th in scoring but found himself tied in voting with Eric Staal and behind Artemi Panarin. It feels a little like the end of an era but also a little like taking Crosby for granted. Maybe it's both.
This article originally appeared on VICE Sports CA.
One Thing the NHL Award Voters Didn't Screw Up Was Taylor Hall as MVP published first on https://footballhighlightseurope.tumblr.com/
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One Thing the NHL Award Voters Didn’t Screw Up Was Taylor Hall as MVP
The 2018 NHL Awards show may have felt like it lasted five hours but it only ran [checks watch] two hours and 15 minutes? Holy shit, that can’t be right, can it? I’ve seen Greg Maddux pitch quicker baseball games than that. How did giving out a handful of sports trophies become such a bloated event?
Watch how quickly I can whittle this show down to 90 minutes:
CUT OUT THE LADY BYNG AWARD — Nobody cares and voting (more below) shows voters don’t really care, either. Give it away before the show the way the Academy Awards give out the best foreign language animated documentary editing awards weeks earlier in the basement of a Dave & Busters.
NO MORE MAGIC SHOWS — Did we really watch a seven-minute “is this your card” trick? Is this because the show is in Vegas? Let those oiled up dancing guys present an award if you want some Vegas flavor. Stopping the show for a rejected set piece from the Now You See Me 3 script isn’t something anyone wants.
NO MORE VIDEO GAME COVER REVEALS — This is very much me being old and shaking my fist at a cloud, but sell your video game during commercial breaks, assholes.
NO MORE JACOB TREMBLAY INTERVIEWS — A trained child actor can’t make uncomfortable hockey players fun. Just let the kid host next year.
Listen to the latest episode of Biscuits, VICE Sports’ hockey podcast
NO MORE SAP STAT THINGIES — Nothing says excitement and pageantry and fun like some dorky-ass facts and figures about some dude’s stats. Again: SELL YOUR PRODUCT DURING COMMERCIAL BREAKS.
I think if you give me enough time I can trim this show to an action-packed hour but we need to move on to the awards and discuss who won, who should have won, and which voters made us laugh the hardest.
NORRIS TROPHY
Winner: Victor Hedman, Tampa Bay Lightning Runners-up: PK Subban, Nashville Predators; Drew Doughty, Los Angeles Kings
Did they get it right? Yes. Hedman, however, is lucky the PHWA gave Doughty his lifetime achievement Norris Trophy a few years ago because his numbers were good enough this season to warrant the sympathy trophy.
What was the funniest vote? There are a lot of worthy choices (Jaccob Slavin was fifth on a ballot!) but this space is dedicated to the PHWA voter who thought Dougie Hamilton was the second-best defenseman in the NHL this season. Hamilton was named on just three of 164 ballots—he was voted fifth on the two others—so either one renegade voter saw something no one else did or a local Calgary media member got too close to the situation.
CALDER TROPHY
Winner: Mat Barzal, New York Islanders Runners-up: Brock Boeser, Vancouver Canucks; Clayton Keller, Arizona Coyotes
Did they get it right? Yes. And by “they” I mean the PHWA voters and not Lou Lamoriello, whose archaic hair rules left Barzal with a much shorter haircut than what he could have had on a special night.
What was the funniest vote? There was nothing too egregious but I’d like to say hi to the Boston voter who felt Jake DeBrusk was the fifth-best rookie in the NHL.
LADY BYNG TROPHY
Winner: William Karlsson, Vegas Golden Knights Runners-up: Ryan O’Reilly, Buffalo Sabres; Aleksander Barkov, Florida Panthers
Did they get it right? Sure. Who knows? Karlsson seems nice. I’m sure he says “sir” and “madam” and knows which one is the salad fork at the royal castle. I have no idea why this award exists.
What was the funniest vote? This award is dumb but the criteria is very clear — be gentlemanly. So most voters just look for guys with a lot of points and few penalty minutes. The problem with that is it leaves a blind spot that leads to Auston Matthews finishing eighth in voting (with six first-place votes) and Connor McDavid finishing 10th (with two first-place votes). Why is this funny?
McDavid was hit with an abuse of officials penalty in January and Matthews mocked a referee a few days earlier by pointing at the net after scoring a goal because an earlier goal was disallowed. Were those two things fantastic? You bet. Would I like to see more of this? Oh yeah.
But it should disqualify them from getting any votes for “gentlemanly” play during that season. You may as well have a Tallest Player Award and give it to Mats Zuccarello.
SELKE TROPHY
Winner: Anze Kopitar, Los Angeles Kings Runners-up: Sean Couturier, Philadelphia Flyers; Patrice Bergeron, Boston Bruins
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Did they get it right? No. I mean, I guess not. I don’t know. Why is there a best defensive forward award but not a best offensive defenseman award? More sports need extremely narrow awards for specific positions. Baseball can adopt a best infielder base runner. Football can honor the best tight end route runners. But apparently Kopitar wasn’t as good this year as he has been in the past. They should just give it to Bergeron every year until he decides it’s time to give it to Brad Marchand.
What was the funniest vote? Nobody voted for a defenseman or goaltender so this vote is devoid of humor.
JACK ADAMS AWARD
Winner: Gerard Gallant, Vegas Golden Knights Runners-up: Jared Bednar, Colorado Avalanche; Bruce Cassidy, Boston Bruins
Did they get it right? Yes. In any other season, Bednar runs away with this and there’s a case to be made he deserved it more than Gallant, but guiding an expansion team to a 100-point season made this automatic. They survived two months during the first half without Marc-Andre Fleury and still cruised to a playoff spot.
What was the funniest vote? I’d like to meet the two people who felt Randy Carlyle of the Anaheim Ducks was the second-best coach, which means they felt Carlyle did a better job than either Gallant or Bednar. I’m putting my money on one of those votes coming from Steve Simmons.
VEZINA TROPHY
Winner: Pekka Rinne, Nashville Predators Runners-up: Andrei Vasilevskiy, Tampa Bay Lightning; Connor Hellebuyck, Winnipeg Jets
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Did they get it right? Yeah, but who did John Gibson piss off among the general managers who voted for this award? Somehow he finished sixth behind Frederik Andersen, who somehow finished fourth with a first-place vote despite a pedestrian .918 save percentage. Apparently the Hockey Men can be just as bad at voting as people who Never Played The Game.
What was the funniest vote? Easily, it’s the guy who felt Andersen was the best goaltender in the NHL this season. We likely will never figure out which GM cast this vote, but my guess is Marc Bergevin. Why? Because Andersen went 3-0 with a .950 save percentage against the Canadiens this season, and that’s the sort of dumbass shit Bergevin would do. If this ever gets confirmed, please tweet a screenshot of this paragraph with the link to the story, because clicks are always nice.
GENERAL MANAGER OF THE YEAR
Winner: George McPhee, Vegas Golden Knights Runners-up: Kevin Cheveldayoff, Winnipeg Jets; Steve Yzerman, Tampa Bay Lightning
Did they get it right? No! Here’s the thing—we give the Jack Adams to the coach of the team we all thought would be crap before the season that turned out to be awesome. The reason we think a team is crap is how the GM builds it. So how can Gallant be the best coach if he’s simply coaching the team assembled by the best GM? You can’t have both! This is also a flawed award because Cheveldayoff (he should have won!) slowly built the team over many years. McPhee did some nice things in the expansion draft but tricking Dale Tallon into giving you two studs for nothing isn’t a big deal when Tallon probably still falls for the “got your nose” trick.
What was the funniest vote? This award is chosen by a swath of front-office and media types, so please let me meet the person who decided Ron Hextall was GM of the Year so I can take an Amtrak down to Philadelphia and have a Yuengling with this local.
HART TROPHY
Winner: Taylor Hall, New Jersey Devils Runners-up: Nathan MacKinnon, Colorado Avalanche; Anze Kopitar, Los Angeles Kings
Did they get it right? Yes! Surprisingly! And the vote was close—Hall edged MacKinnon by 70 points and held a 72-60 advantage in first-place votes. Hall had a slightly better MVP case and he won by a margin that presented that case. I went through all the ballots, looked very closely, and it turns out nobody casted a Hart vote for Adam Larsson.
What was the funniest vote? There wasn’t anything all that “what an idiot” funny but a very “huh, that’s funny” vote was Sidney Crosby getting just one fifth-place vote and nothing else. He had 89 points in 82 games, finished 10th in scoring but found himself tied in voting with Eric Staal and behind Artemi Panarin. It feels a little like the end of an era but also a little like taking Crosby for granted. Maybe it’s both.
This article originally appeared on VICE Sports CA.
One Thing the NHL Award Voters Didn’t Screw Up Was Taylor Hall as MVP syndicated from https://australiahoverboards.wordpress.com
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Lou Lamoriello's tenure in Toronto was short but sweet
The end of a short but sweet tenure. (Getty)
Hired as the Leafs general manager in 2015 by a player-turned-president he once drafted, Lou Lamoriello has, in only three seasons, put his stamp on Toronto’s future.
Brendan Shanahan brought in his old compadre to help oversee a scorched-earth rebuild, one in which the team intentionally tanked during Lou’s first campaign at the helm — which yielded the No. 1 selection in 2016 as the Leafs drafted a cornerstone centreman in Auston Matthews.
After bottoming out, Lamoriello was looked to be a guiding force through the next two seasons of the rebuild. He did just that, putting the Maple Leafs in position to make the playoffs in consecutive seasons for the first time since the early 2000’s and posting back-to-back 100-point campaigns, including a franchise-record 105 in 2017-18.
Whether he sticks around with Toronto in an advisor role or sails off into the sunset, boasting a legacy as one of the game’s greatest executives, Lou’s stint with the Maple Leafs will be remembered as, for the most part, a positive and productive one.
Here’s a timeline of the major moves that marked, for better or worse, Lamoriello’s tenure with the Toronto Maple Leafs:
February 2016: Shipped out Dion Phaneuf
Through some miraculous work, Lamoriello was somehow able to shed the polarizing blue-liner along with his $7-million-per-year cap hit without retaining any of Phaneuf’s salary. In a nine-player “Blockbuster,” the Leafs moved their Captain to the Senators for a bunch of dudes who were quickly shipped out or buried in the AHL. The deal opened a lot of much-needed cap space and lifted the team from underneath a contract it would have likely been stuck with through 2021.
April 2016: Re-signed Nazem Kadri
Toronto’s GM was able to lock up Kadri to a team-friendly six-year, $27-million deal ($4.5-million cap hit), which has proven to be an absolute bargain as Kadri has rounded into a solid top-six guy — and one of the better two-way centres in the Eastern Conference. After signing the extension prior to 2016-17, Kadri posted back-to-back 32 goal campaigns — his previous high in a single season was 20.
April 2016: Re-signed Morgan Rielly Maybe not a true No. 1 defenceman, but a damn good No. 2, Rielly re-upped with Toronto at the same time as Kadri and is under contract through 2022 at a comfortable cap hit of $5-million per season. The 24-year-old is Toronto’s best blue-liner currently on the roster, and posted a career high 52 points last season.
June 2016: Acquired Frederik Andersen
Lamoriello, who knows first hand how important a reliable, game-stealing goalie is to any team, made sure he got the man he wanted. Lou sent a couple of draft picks — of which the team was starting to stockpile — including a first-rounder for the then-Ducks netminder and immediately inked Freddy Andersen to a favourable five-year, $25-million deal. Andersen has arguably been the team’s MVP and a top-10 NHL goaltender over the past two seasons, posting a .918 save percentage while facing the most rubber in the league over that span.
May 2017: Extended Nikita Zaitsev forever
Though it’s still early, as they say, this one may turn out to be the biggest blemish on Lamoriello’s tenure in Toronto. Zaitsev was inked to a seven-year, $31.5-million contract after a strong rookie season and is under control at a $4.5-million cap hit through 2024. Oh, and the blueliner was granted a modified no-movement clause for the final four years of the deal, too.
July 2017: Signed Patrick Marleau
Toronto needed to throw a proven veteran with speed and skill into a group of speedy, energetic underlings, so who better than the future Hall of Famer? Marleau inked a three-year, $18.75-million contract after 19 years with the San Jose Sharks and seems to be out-skating Father Time (for now) with 27 goals, including five power play tallies, during his first season in Toronto.
Summer 2017: Extended Zack Hyman and Connor Brown
Lamoriello secured a couple of not-so-flashy yet essential pieces to club-friendly contracts in the form of Brown and Hyman. The latter was locked up for four years at just $2.25-million per, while Brown is signed through 2020 at just $2.1-million per season.
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What Everyone Is Saying About Pornography And What You Should Do
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NBA Regular Season Awards (Bold Predictions!)
Rookie of the year
Malcolm Brogdon (Milwaukee Bucks) Solid player who makes plays on both ends; almost 40% on FG% and treys and leads all rookies in steals. Stepped up when Dellavedova was being Dellavedova (?). Dario Saric is a close second; better numbers and upside than Malcolm but I had to give it to the guy that gave meaningful minutes and a positive +/- on a winning team. I wouldn’t be surprised if Joel Embiid still takes the award though.
Defensive Player of the Year
Rudy Gobert (Utah Jazz) Allowed the fewest points in the paint and literally shuts down every forward/ center he is facing every night! I’m a fantasy freak so I’m aware of his numbers-- Rudy leads the league in blocks and defensive win shares. Draymond makes a good case here but Rudy is more vital to the Jazz’ league top defense than he is in Golden State.
Most Improved Player
James Johnson (Miami Heat) Same guy that was cut by numerous teams. Dude showed flashes in Toronto but was never really given the chance. Filled the front court void in Miami, stepped up on Winslow's absence and thrived in Spoelstra's system. JJ can play multiple positions, can pass and shoot which made him valuable in today's game. He can guard every position and gets the toughest defensive assignments every night. Had career best in points, rebounds and assists this season. The NBA fantasy steal of the year in my opinion.
Executive of the year
Daryl Morey (Houston Rockets) This one is really hard because most of the plans here are long term and if that's the case I would give it to GSW and Kevin Durant. However, Morey and the Rockets this season are hard to ignore. Morey brought Eric Gordon, Ryan Anderson and Nene, not the biggest names out there but the style of play really worked with what Mike D'Antoni (signed offseason) has with James Harden and the Rockets. Also, brought Lou Williams, a yearly sixth man of the year candidate for cheap. These moves will make HOU fun to watch, at least for the next 2-3 years.
Sixth Man of the Year
Eric Gordon (Houston Rockets) I’m torn between him and Andre Iguodala~ Eric has been an excellent relief valve for James Harden-- suits well with D’Antoni’s scheme to space the floor for James. His play off the bench is a key reason why Houston has the best scoring 2nd unit and most efficient offense this year. Props!
Most Valuable Player
Russell Westbrook (Oklahoma City Thunder) The MVP race is extremely tight but like what I said, NBA is all about the narrative. Westbrook has brought Oklahoma to the Playoffs without Durant and he did it in a phenomenal way; averaged triple double (had 42 of it) and broke Oscar Robertson’s 55 year record. If I were to consider team record, Kawhi and Lebron are no doubt the favorites. Heck, even Harden has a better record than Russ. Also, if I had to pick the real best player; I would pick Kawhi Leonard-- two way player and the best player in the best team (other than warriors) lol.
Westbrook willed the thunder to the playoffs in the Western conference with Oladipo as the next best player. I’ve been a Lebron trash for years and he’s still arguably the best player in the planet but if he wants to win MVP, he has to work for it. The media didn’t like him sitting games so yea. Russ worked the hardest and he has the best Individual performance this year. Gotta give credit where it is due.
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11 NFL undrafted free agents we’re most excited about this year
Photo by Jonathan Bachman/Getty Images
Not everyone gets drafted — but that’s not necessarily the end of the road.
By the time the clock struck 7 p.m. ET on Saturday, 255 players heard their names called at the 2020 NFL Draft. Many will go on to have an impact in the league as rookies — but they won’t be alone.
Every year, players rise up from the ranks of the undrafted to earn their spot on NFL rosters and work their way into starting lineups. Tony Romo, Wes Welker, Jason Peters, Kurt Warner, and John Randle all went from unwanted on draft day(s) and into starring roles on Sundays.
Every college football fan has a player they love who didn’t do enough to convince scouts they were worthy of a draft slot. They still have plenty to offer, however.
These are the undrafted free agents we’re most excited about after the conclusion of the draft and where they’ve signed so far.
Rodrigo Blankenship, K, Georgia Signed with: Indianapolis Colts
You might not know anything about Blankenship whatsoever, but just tell me this: How can you not draft this dude?
Blankenship is not only known for his signature glasses that he wears during games, but he’s also an excellent placekicker. During his Georgia career he made 80 of his 97 field goal attempts (82.47 percent) and won the 2019 Lou Groza Award, given to the nation’s top kicker.
Blankenship is signing with the Colts, where he could potentially serve as 47-year-old Adam Vinatieri’s replacement, if he ever retires.
Marc-Antoine Dequoy, S, Université de Montréal Signed with: Green Bay Packers
Dequoy was a celebrated U Sports defender — Canada’s equivalent to the NCAA. The Montreal Carabin is skilled in coverage along the slot and capable, at 6’2 and a still-growing 198 pounds, as a run defender. A 4.35-second 40 time suggests he’ll be a stout deep ball retriever in a system that can help him apply his Canadian football skills to the American gridiron.
The Packers plan to try him out at cornerback and safety.
Jackson Erdmann, QB, St. John’s (Minnesota) Signed with: TBD
Erdmann’s blindside protector, Ben Bartch, was drafted in the fourth round by the Jaguars. That was an anomaly for a Division III player — even one as talented as the former Johnnie blocker. Erdmann started his career as a walk-on at Penn State before emerging as one of college football’s most prolific passers. He was the 2018 Division III player of the year and has thrown for 8,490 yards and 94 touchdowns the past two seasons. At 6’4 and 215 pounds, he sure looks like the kind of developmental player on which NFL teams should make a small wager.
Anthony Gordon, QB, Washington State Signed with: Seattle Seahawks
Gordon didn’t hear his name called during the draft, which was a little surprising. The QB’s journey to even be mentioned as an NFL prospect is impressive, though. He’s a former zero-star recruit who started his career at JUCO City College of San Francisco. There, Gordon led his team to a 12-1 record and a California Community College Athletic Association championship.
He then transferred to Washington State, where he was a backup, including for now-Jaguars QB Gardner Minshew. When he finally got to start for the Cougs last season, Gordon accounted for 5,579 yards and 48 touchdowns. He set both conference single-season records for passing touchdowns and yards, as well as total offense (5,559) and completions (493).
He signed with the Seahawks and will try to earn a roster spot as Russell Wilson’s backup.
Javelin Guidry, CB, Utah Signed with: New York Jets
Guidry was the rare Utah prospect who didn’t get drafted this weekend. The collegiate track athlete brings elite speed — A 4.29-second 40 time! — to the lineup. Though he’s short for a sideline position at 5’9, he could be a valuable slot presence whose closing skills can erase slants in the middle of the field. He’s more of a pure athlete than a cornerback, despite spending three seasons as a starter with the Utes. But he was still a vital cog in a powerful secondary that saw three other members taken in the draft this year.
He could fill a similar role in the NFL with the Jets, who had a need at cornerback but only used a fifth-round pick on the position this draft.
Lamar Jackson, CB, Nebraska Signed with: New York Jets
Yes, there are now two Lamar Jacksons in the NFL. Jackson, a cornerback out of Nebraska, started for three seasons for the Huskers and was an integral part of their defense. As a senior in 2019, he finished with a career-high 40 tackles, four tackles for loss, three picks, and two forced fumbles. He finished his Nebraska career with 22 pass breakups, which ranks 10th in school history.
It would have been cool if the former Nebraska corner had signed with the Ravens, but instead he’s headed to the cornerback-needy Jets.
Thaddeus Moss, TE, LSU Signed with: Washington
Randy’s son went undrafted, despite his tremendous bloodlines and a spot on the reigning national champions. Moss had little pre-2019 impact in a college career that went from NC State to LSU with a medical redshirt in between, but his final season (47 catches, 570 yards, four TDs) was promising enough that he was expected to hear his name called this weekend.
Then he languished all the way to the free-agent pile. While he lacks the length (6’2) and athleticism that made his father a star, he can handle himself as a blocker and spring free for big gains downfield. He moves smoothly but not explosively — though when the rubber meets the road, he’s been able to create the separation needed to be a viable target downfield.
Moss was unable to work out at the combine after his medical exams revealed he had a fractured foot, which might’ve hurt his draft stock. If he’s healthy, he could be a coup for a Washington team without a No. 1 tight end.
Aaron Parker, WR, Rhode Island Signed with: Dallas Cowboys
Parker’s cousin, Isaiah Coulter, became the first URI player drafted since 1986 when the Texans selected him in the fifth round. While Coulter has tremendous potential, he wasn’t the Rams’ most productive wideout.
That honor goes to Parker, who led the Rams in receiving yards all four years he played in Kingston. Though the 6’2 wideout may not have the NFL potential that helped Coulter become a Day 3 pick, he was a beast for Rhode Island. He led the CAA — one of FCS’ top conferences — in most receiving categories last fall.
He won’t challenge the top of the Cowboys’ depth chart, but he has a chance to catch on if he brings that level of production to Dallas this offseason.
Bryce Perkins, QB, Virginia Signed with: Los Angeles Rams
If nothing else, Perkins showed in two seasons with Virginia that he’s a gamer. The 6’3 quarterback led his team to the Orange Bowl in 2019 and gave the tough Florida defense a run for its money. Despite the Cavaliers entering as a two-touchdown underdog, Perkins threw for 323 yards and four touchdowns in a 36-28 loss.
He’s certainly a project at the next level who needs to develop into more than a one-read and bail passer. But Perkins smashed school records at Virginia and brings a lot of upside and versatility to the Rams, whose QB room only consists of Jared Goff and John Wolford.
Jared Pinkney, TE, Vanderbilt Signed with: Atlanta Falcons
Pinkney could have been a Day 2 pick in 2018. Instead, he returned to a Vanderbilt team with an uncertain quarterback situation and struggled. The combination of a disappointing senior year and a slow performance at the NFL Scouting Combine — a 4.96-second 40-yard time — helped turn him from draft asset to a free agent.
Some of this freefall was out of his control. His breakthrough 2018 (50 catches, 774 yards, seven TDs) came alongside Kyle Shurmur, one of the steadiest quarterbacks in Vanderbilt history. That situation degraded to Riley Neal, Deuce Wallace, and Mo Hasan in 2019, leaving him in the lurch when it came to reliable targets downfield. It also left Vandy fans to wonder where the productive TE from the prior season had gone.
The Falcons are light on proven tight ends after losing Austin Hooper to free agency. If Pinkney can prove his senior season was a fluke, then he can end up being a valuable weapon for Matt Ryan.
Alex Taylor, OT, South Carolina State Signed with: Cleveland Browns
Taylor is an extremely raw prospect — he first played basketball at South Carolina State before turning his focus back to football — but at 6’8 and 308 pounds, he’s a lean, agile specimen. There are immediate downsides to his game; he needs to refine his technique and requires a multi-year investment. Even so, he’s capable of becoming a Sunday starter for a team willing to put in the work on a massive blocker who stands out as one of the most athletic linemen of his class.
And every year, one thing we know about the Browns is that they can never have too many linemen.
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Ron Wright had the worst MLB debut of all time
Three plate appearances. Six outs. This would be a freakishly terrible day for just about any hitter in baseball. For Ron Wright, who as a minor leaguer was compared to Cecil Fielder and Fred McGriff, it was his whole career. A series of wildly improbable events — botched surgery, incredible perseverance, baserunning calamity and a baseball to the ear — all came together to build this moment, the worst MLB debut of all time.
It’s weird to say this now, but on April 14, 2002, the Seattle Mariners were an elite baseball team. They were coming off matching the all-time record for wins in a season, boasted the defending MVP and Rookie of the Year in Ichiro Suzuki, had eight (!) returning all-stars, had made a big trade to upgrade at third by swooping for Jeff Cirillo, had added another power bat in Ruben Sierra and were also looking at a full season of rising ace Joel Piñeiro. The 2001 Mariners had been a juggernaut. On paper, at least, the 2002 edition were going to be even better.
By the time they arrived in Dallas for their four-game series against the Texas Rangers, the usual suspects were rolling. Ichiro and Bret Boone had been relatively quiet, but the likes of John Olerud and Mike Cameron were piling up the runs, and the Mariners had rushed to an early lead in the American League West. There was, however, something missing. Or, more to the point, someone.
John G. Mabanglo/AFP via Getty Images
ARLINGTON, Texas — Seattle Mariners designated hitter Edgar Martinez has a ruptured left hamstring and was scheduled to have surgery [on April 13].
Martinez injured the hamstring while running out a grounder to third base in the ninth inning of Thursday’s 8-4 victory at Anaheim. The six-time All-Star had to be helped off the field.
An MRI exam was done Friday, and the Mariners put Martinez on the disabled list. Rick Griffin, Seattle’s trainer, said the exam revealed a ruptured tendon behind Martinez’s knee.
In 2001, future Hall-of-Famer Edgar Martinez owned a .306/.423/.543 batting line, compiled over 132 games. Now the Mariners were going to have to do without their iconic designated hitter for a few months.
Edgar’s hamstring blowing up was exactly the sort of situation that the team signed Sierra to handle. And, indeed, the 36-year-old was handling it. In his first game spelling Martinez, Sierra hit a grand slam to lift the team to a 7-3 win. In his second, he hit a double and drew a walk. While life without Edgar wasn’t ever going to be fine, it looked at least like it would be bearable.
But Sierra wasn’t just Seattle’s backup option at DH. He was also the team’s primary bench bat and a rotation option in the outfield corners. While he was pencilled into the Edgar slot, the team needed some cover for their cover. And so, buried in that article about Martinez’s hamstring surgery, was a note about a minor roster move.
The Mariners purchased the contract of first baseman Ron Wright from Triple-A Tacoma of the Pacific Coast League.
Wright’s name would have meant very little to Mariners fans back then. I suspect it didn’t even mean that much to Wright. He was drafted by the Atlanta Braves out of high school in 1994. As a seventh-round pick, he wasn’t expected to amount to much of anything, but he quickly pushed his way through the minors, reaching AAA for the first time as a 21-year-old.
By then Wright was already with his second organization. The Braves had claimed the World Series in 1995, and by the time August ‘96 rolled around they were making a push for a second consecutive ring. They needed pitching reinforcements, and decided on Pittsburgh Pirates lefthander Denny Neagle.
Neagle did not come cheap. He had made the National League All-Star team in 1995, and by late summer he’d amassed a 14-6 record with a 3.05 ERA. If the Braves wanted him, they were going to have to give up some talent. On Aug. 28, 1996, two minor-leaguers and a player to be named later were dispatched to Pittsburgh. Wright, ranked by Baseball America as the Braves’ No. 8 prospect, was part of the deal.
Ron Wright during a 1998 spring training game with the Pirates
Back then, Wright was projected as a Fielder or McGriff type. He’d strike out, he’d walk, and above all, he was going to hit home runs. He would hit huge home runs and a huge number of home runs. In two full seasons, he’d managed to rack up almost 70 of them, several of them true monsters. Having dominated at A and AA, it was time for him to move up.
Wright thrived in his first season with the pirates, smoking the Pacific Coast League, hitting .304/.348/.539 for the Calgary Lookouts over 91 games. Sure, there were only 16 home runs, but in 91 games, coming from a 21-year-old in AAA ... that’s the sort of performance that turns heads. A breakthrough seemed inevitable.
It was not.
A wrist injury robbed Wright of a September call-up in 1997. Worse was to come. Going into 1998, he was ranked as the Pirates No. 5 prospect, but a back injury immediately knocked him onto the disabled list. That injury required surgery: a spinal disk needed repairing. Wright was out of regular action for almost two years. When he returned, the power was gone.
While rebuilding that busted spinal disk, Wright’s surgeon had damaged his sciatic nerve, causing loss of feeling in his right leg. A key part of the swing that produced those mammoth home runs had disappeared. Wright’s calling card, the key to his prospect status, was no more.
Wright slowly fell down the Pirates pecking order. After the ‘98 season, Baseball-America had him at No. 6. A year later, he was their No. 10 prospect. And a year after that, he was gone, claimed on waivers by the Cincinnati Reds.
Denny Neagle, incidentally, made 71 starts for the Braves, going 38-19 with a 3.43 ERA. In 1997, while Wright was tearing up the PCL, Neagle finished third in the National League Cy Young voting (the two dudes ahead of him were named ‘Pedro Martinez’ and ‘Greg Maddux’, so we’ll call that a moral victory).
The Pirates, disappointed in Wright, still did OK out of that trade. The PTBNL ended up being 23-year-old pitcher Jason Schmidt, who carved out a productive career up in Pittsburgh before blossoming with the San Francisco Giants.
Meanwhile, Wright couldn’t gain any traction. A mediocre 2000 with the Reds was followed up by an equally mediocre 2001 with the then-Devil Rays. By the time 2002 rolled around, Wright was a fully-fledged journeyman, his prospect status long forgotten. He was a traveling mercenary, organizational filler. The particular organization he’d be filling that year was, of course, the Seattle Mariners.
Did Lou Pinella have any intention of actually playing Wright while Edgar was out? Probably not. At least, not much. On April 14, Wright had been in the majors for two days, and he’d spent them parked happily on the bench, watching the Mariners beat up on the Rangers. There he would have stayed but for starting third baseman Jeff Cirillo taking a baseball to the face.
Cirillo would eventually become sort of a bogeyman for Seattle, the human marker for both the end of franchise’s golden era and the perils of doing business with the Colorado Rockies. Neither is, strictly speaking, fair. The bulk of his pre-Seattle career was spent hitting .307/.383/.449 in Milwaukee, not Denver, and during his two years with the Mariners the team won 186 games. But there’s no getting around that fact his tenure in the Emerald City was, well, awful.
On April 14, however, all that lay in the future. He was off to a slow start, sure, but with his pedigree and status as the team’s major off-season acquisition, few had any hint at the mess that was to follow. Cirillo was pencilled in at third, hitting second behind Ichiro and he’d have hoped to bust out of his season-opening mini-slump against Rangers southpaw Kenny Rodgers.
He never got that chance. During batting practice, center fielder Mike Cameron cracked a line drive off the pitching screen. By an implausible twist of fate*, the ricochet took the ball straight into Cirillo’s left ear. The cut required three stitches.
*This wasn’t the only time in Cirillo’s career that he picked up a freak injury. According to Tom Haudricourt, he once just missed a home run and threw his batting helmet in frustration ... right at his ankle. He was out for four games.
Piniella hastily re-jigged his lineup. Charles Gibson was shifted from left field to third. Sierra would go to left field. And Wright, who became the 33rd man named ‘Wright’ to appear in a Major League Baseball game, would get the nod at designated hitter.
That Wright wound up making his debut for the Mariners looked suspiciously like fate. He might have been drafted by Atlanta, but Washington State was home. He’d moved there at eight, and played high school ball at Kamiakin High School in Kennewick, three and a half hours drive from Seattle and the Kingdome. He had to navigate two away series before the team got back to his home state. Make some noise in Dallas or Oakland and he’d get to swing the bat in front of his family.
During his first appearance, he made zero noise with the bat. None whatsoever. With two runners on and no out, and the Mariners up, 1-0, it was the perfect time to do some damage. But Wright took Rodgers first pitch, a fastball, for strike one. Then he took the second. Strike two. One more and he was back in the dugout, a strikeout victim. He hadn’t even taken the bat off his shoulders.
A debut strikeout is forgivable. It’s the sort of thing that happens to rookies in their first game, especially rookies who’ve taken the scenic route to get to the majors. Upon his return to the dugout, Wright would have gotten (I assume) a good butt-slapping and told to go get ‘em next time.
It’s the top of the fourth. It’s almost an exact replica of the opportunity he missed the first time up. The Mariners are still 1-0 to the good. Sierra and Olerud are on base. The only difference is that this time Sierra is at third, an easy RBI opportunity. Wright wasn’t going to let this chance get away. He was going to swing.
He swung three times. Two were swinging strikes, sandwiching a pair of balls to bring the count to 2-2. Then, for the first time in his career, he made contact. As it turned out, the Mariners would rather he hadn’t:
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Wright should not have swung at that pitch. It was down and well away, and drew the sort of swing that leads to embarrassing outcomes. This particular swing produced an ugly tapper back to the mound. Rodgers (who’d win his second gold glove that year) eased his way off the mound, made a slick grab, stared Sierra back to third base, then fired to second to get Olerud on a force play.
That should have been that. End of story. Erasure of story, really. But someone had blundered. If Sierra had simply stayed put, history would have remembered Wright’s debut as merely a bad one, and we’d have no reason whatsoever to discuss him years later. But every interesting story is made up of a collection of tiny chances, seemingly unrelated events which Rube Goldberg themselves into an unstoppable force.
We arrived at this moment through a botched surgery, an exploded hamstring and a face-seeking baseball. But the pivot this story really turns on is Sierra being a huge idiot.
Unlike Wright, Sierra had been around the Major League block. 2002 was his 16th season in the big leagues. He knew how to run the bases just fine, swiping well over 100 bags over the course of his career. His speed had long-since gone by the time Wright came around, but a player with that much experience should know better than to break for home while the shortstop is essentially holding the ball at second.
Sierra broke for home while the shortstop was holding the ball at second. Alex Rodriguez duly tossed the ball to the catcher, and a half-assed rundown ensued. During the melee, John Moses told Wright to advance to second, thinking that the Mariners might as well keep a runner in scoring position despite Sierra’s blunder.
Further calamity ensured. As Wright bolted for second, Sierra gave himself up, allowed Rodgers to tag him and throw to second again. Michael Young applied the tag to complete the play. 1-6-2-5-1-4. Wright had become the first player in a century to hit into a triple play on his debut.
He wasn’t done there. His spot in the lineup came up in the sixth, with the Mariners now 2-1 down. Sierra and Olerud were on base again, having hit back-to-back singles. Rodgers was near the end of his tether, having given up 11 baserunners in 5+ innings. His pitch count was in the 90s. A hit here would have tied the game.
Wright came up with a first-pitch double play instead, grounding hard to Rodriguez at shortstop.
The Mariners came back, but Wright did not. Seattle grabbed four quick runs in the top of the seventh, with Olerud knotting things up with a line drive single to right field. With runners at the corners, Piniella decided he’d had enough misery out of his DH for one evening and pulled Wright for super-utilityman Mark McLemore, who ended up going 0-2 with two strikeouts. It takes an unusual day for that to be an upgrade.
Wright’s game in full: 0-3, K, GDP, GTP. Nine pitches seen; two balls; three called strikes; four swings; 50 percent contact; six outs made. Once known for his ability to hit ridiculously long bombs, he had hit the baseball a combined 150 feet.
Some of the magic of baseball is a product of sheer volume. Enough baseball is played for all sorts of strange things to happen, and here they just happened to happen to Wright. Unsurprisingly, he was sent back down to AAA following the end of the Rangers series. Wright never got to play in front of his family at Safeco Field. Two years later, after a couple more minor league stints and then a go-around with the independent Sioux Falls Canaries, he was out of baseball entirely.
After the injuries he picked up in the late-90s, there wasn’t much chance Wright would have had a lengthy career in the majors, even if his first crack at the bigs hadn’t been quite so catastrophic. But by doing so, he turned his non-career into a spectacular event, a nonsensical comet blazing its way through a Dallas afternoon.
Reaching the pinnacle of baseball takes an obscene amount of talent and even more hard work, and Wright’s path was even harder than most. Getting to start for the Mariners at all represents an incredible achievement, and if Wright didn’t exactly make the most of it. at least he impressed himself on the history books.
Fortunately, that’s how he sees it too. Talking to Larry Stone 15 years after the fact, Wright looked back at his performance with few regrets:
If I got into one game. I might as well do something memorable. I wish it had been three home runs, but it wasn’t. It was kind of a weird sequence of events that led to the actual outcome. With different baserunning and different bounces, you never know.
As for the 2002 Seattle Mariners, they’d go on to win 93 games but miss the playoffs anyway. It was the start of what is now the longest playoff drought in American sports.
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Happy 18th birthday to the most upsetting baseball game of all time
The worst sports night of my entire life began with Dave Burba slopping what I can only assume was his take on a cut fastball a few inches off the plate away. Ichiro was at bat, Mark McLemore on deck, the twilight was falling on a beautiful Ohio evening, and the Cleveland Indians were hosting the 80-31 Seattle Mariners.
I’d never seen the Mariners on television before. I moved to Seattle when I was 10 and was a boring enough child to fall in love with baseball upon being dragged to the Kingdome for the first time. Thanks to the vagaries of cable, however, I had to follow my team via radio and once-yearly excursions to the ballpark. That’s not necessarily a bad thing when you have Dave Neihaus guiding you through your favorite team’s golden age*, but it did leave me starved for non-aural baseball.
*As it turns out, 1995-2003 was also the Mariners’ only non-fecal age.
So starved, in fact, every time Seattle made it to a national broadcast, I would try to watch. And every time, for literally years, I’d get notified that, so sorry, your game has been blacked out. Until, suddenly, on Aug. 5, 2001, it worked. I was baffled by this turn of events, of course, but decided to take it as a note of benevolence from a higher power, and settled in to watch.
Pitch number two was in more or less the same place as Burba’s first offering. Three was an 84-mph fastball down the middle that Ichiro apparently thought would be too embarrassing to hit, a decision which cost him when he was called out on strikes a few pitches later. So far so bad, a younger, more innocent me must have thought.
The 2001 Indians were a good team and could pitch. A little bit. Bartolo Colon was in his intimidating pomp, and the arrival of rookie left-hander C.C. Sabathia helped give their rotation a one-two punch which was entirely irrelevant when Burba (or anyone else — Cleveland essentially ran a AAA rotation beyond the big two) was on the mound. At his best, Burba was slightly better than pure filler, but at 34 he was no longer at his best, and he was going up against a Mariners team that was set to absolutely torch him. Now he was up against Mark McLemore, who struck out too. Then Edgar Martinez chopped out to third.
If you follow baseball, you’re probably aware of this game, at least tangentially. And therefore you’re aware that this was something more disastrous than what was threatened in the top of the first: a mediocre pitcher chewing his way through a very good lineup. That’s a bad day, but not a traumatic one. Four batters into the game, when Kenny Lofton cracked a ground ball single back through the box, and hard, I feared a bad day. How disappointing it would be to have my first televised Mariners experience be a frustrating loss!
Aaron Sele wriggled his way out of the bottom of the first, which gives me a good opportunity to drop in this still from a between-innings commercial:
I think Pontiac would have been proud of how they’ve shaped modern society.
The Mariners scored four times in the top of the second. Two ill-considered dives produced a pair of hustle doubles, sandwiched around a Mike Cameron blast which bounced off the wall but would have gone about 20 rows deep if he’d been hitting the 2019 baseball. Ichiro then plated a pair with a delicate lob to left. Seattle was rolling, and I was happy.
I was still happier after the third. That inning went something like this:
Single Single Single Double Single Single Hit By Pitch Sacrifice Fly Walk Error Single Strikeout Lineout
It was worth eight runs and took the score to 12-0. No baseball team in history had ever come back from a 12-run deficit. The Indians, who’d already been beaten twice at home by Seattle that weekend and were starting to look in trouble in the AL Central race, were staring at a blowout. No baseball team in history had ever come back from a 12-run deficit.
Then one did. This game is in the record books as the greatest comeback of all time, the one in which Cleveland clawed their way back from a ludicrous deficit to win the game in extras. Blowing a 12-run lead over any length of time is difficult enough, but the sheer scope of the Mariners’ collapse is extraordinary. The teams each scored two runs in the middle innings, leaving the score at 14-2 during the seventh-inning stretch. The Indians had to compress history (and, for me, misery) into three innings.
They did so without the heart of their fearsome batting order. By the time the comeback began, both lineups had seen a slew of changes. Ichiro, Martinez, and Olerud were on the bench, as were Alomar, Juan Gonzalez, and Ellis Burks. The only really dangerous bats left available to either team were Jim Thome and Bret Boone, and the latter had been given the day off anyway. Despite the two clubs sending seven hitters to the 2001 MLB All-Star game, only Mike Cameron played the full 11 innings of what was to prove one of the most memorable games of the decade.
Anyway. By the middle of the seventh, I was in a pretty good mood. I was getting to watch (not listen!) to one of the greatest teams of all time kick the ever-loving shit out of some pretty capable opposition, and although it was a little annoying that most of the big bats were out of the game, all the Mariners needed to do to ensure my evening finished happily was not blow a 12-run lead.
AN ASIDE: Whatever happened to this dude? Did we lose him during our difficult transition to being a civilization of Mango Freaks?
END ASIDE
Through six innings, Sele had given up six hits, a walk, and two runs. Russell Branyan, on for Burks, greeted him with a screaming line drive into the right centre field seats. 14-3. The comeback was on. Only, it didn’t really look it. Two batters later and the Indians needed 11 runs to tie the game, and had seven outs to do it. Solo home runs weren’t going to do it.
If we had to pick a turning point, the plate appearance which made all that followed possible, it might be Lofton’s walk. With two outs, Einar Diaz smacked a two-hopper up the middle and well out of Carlos Guillen’s reach, but Sele was still cruising and quickly got Lofton 0-2 thanks to a generous called strike and a foul ball. One more strike would have sent the Indians into the eighth inning in an (even more) impossible hole. Sele threw exactly zero more strikes.
Lofton took four straight fastballs away. None of them were close. Omar Vizquel followed that up with a four-pitch walk, and suddenly Sele, who averaged just 2.1 walks per nine innings for the entire 2001 season, had walked the bases loaded. The clouds were gathering. Lou Piniella seeded them further by going to blowout specialist John Halama.
Halama, part of the return for Randy Johnson in 1998, was a terrible pitcher, AAA no-hitter aside. He somehow logged 110 innings for the 2001 Mariners, which is remarkable considering he didn’t strike anyone out and got absolutely blitzed by opposing hitters. The ‘01 Mariners had one of the strongest bullpens ever assembled, headlined by Kazuhiro Sasaki, Arthur Rhodes, and Jeff Nelson. Even the best bullpens, however, have their fair share of dreck. With an 11-run cushion and someone named Jolbert Cabrera at the plate, dreck should have been fine.
It was not fine. Cabrera took a big swing on a changeup away, and yanked the ball into left. That fooled Martin, who froze, took a step backwards and then charged in, allowing the ball to drop a step or two in front of him. Two runs would score, and the seventh inning ultimately ended, 14-5.
The Mariners’ bats seem to have considered their job done. After the fifth, they went a combined 3-18, with three singles. Having scored 14 runs in that early blitz, they quite reasonably went into cruise control. They’d never come back out.
Meanwhile, the Indians were treating Halama like a piñata. Thome, whose two-run home run in the fourth got Cleveland on the board, flipped a 2-1 “fastball” into the left field corner for another homer. 14-6. Marty Cordova joined him in the home run parade after a Branyan hit-by-pitch — 14-8. Suddenly the game was within reach, and after a pair of singles Halama was done. Norm Charlton was called in from the pen.
Charlton wasn’t one of the big three Mariners relievers, but he wasn’t bad either, and Piniella would have been expecting him to hold down a six-run lead even in a tricky spot. He probably should have, too. Vizquel was jammed on a 95-mph fastball away, but he somehow kept it fair and the ball looped down the left field line for a double and a 14-9 score. The Mariners then got a break in this breakless of games — Lofton misread a ball which bounced off Tom Lampkin’s right leg and was thrown out trying to score, which allowed Charlton to escape to the ninth with a five-run lead.
I didn’t yet know to be nervous. Eighteen years ago, the Seattle Mariners were not the Seattle Mariners™. They had not yet become the unbridled force for misery which has shaped the way I look at sports. Their playoff drought was zero years. They had reached the ALCS in 2000, they would again in 2001. They were phenomenal, and I expected them to win more or less whenever they played, whatever the situation. And when they lost ... well, that happened. I suppose. Infrequently.
Ed Taubensee led off the bottom of the ninth with a single. With Thome and Branyan next up, the situation looked perilous, but Charlton made quick work of them. Two outs, down five, and a runner on first? That should have been game over. Then the wheels really came off.
I hadn’t watched this inning since I saw the calamity unfold live, but it’s seared into my memory regardless. Cordova absolutely crushed a pitch off the left-field wall to knock Charlton out of the game. Nelson was summoned. He got Wil Cordero to 3-2, then struck him out looking on a wicked slider:
Well, he should have struck him out with that slider. Instead was called ball four. Missed calls have been more egregious, of course, but this one had a profound effect on my young psyche, for six pitches later Nelson himself was knocked out of the game by a line drive into left off Diaz’s bat — 14-11. Suddenly it was a save situation, and it was clear to teenage me that something had gone terribly wrong.
I was ‘watching’ with my hands over my eyes as Lofton scooched a single past David Bell to bring up the go-ahead run in Vizquel. Not a soul in Jacobs Field was sitting down. This was it. Sasaki started Vizquel off with a splitter that he swung over for strike one. A second splitter followed, well out of the zone. The battle would end up lasting some time.
Baseball is a sport devoted to tension. Stress is the soul of the game and has been since the foul-ball rules were finalized. In a sport with a clock, key moments are just that: moments. They come, they go, they are finished with and done in a flash. Baseball stretches its moments and its fans to a breaking point. I am reliably informed that during Vizquel’s at-bat I was having what looked like a small seizure. All I really remember is the creeping horror, every pitch promising redemption or catastrophe but only serving to prolong the moment and ratchet up the stress.
Sasaki’s fifth pitch to Vizquel was a 91-mph fastball down the middle and at the knees, called a ball for reasons I suspect are related to the will of some malevolent deity. Pitch six was just about fouled off, an emergency swing sending a splitter trickling off behind home plate. Pitch seven was popped into the stands on the third base side. And then pitch eight was guided by the despotic hand of fate onto the label of Vizquel’s bat.
The subsequent weak grounder was perfectly placed, right down the first base line. Ed Sprague was a) playing in and b) not John Olerud, so his desperate dive ended in failure. Lofton was 34, and not as fast as he once was, but the ball was so well-placed — and the Mariners’ defense so thoroughly depleted — that he scored from first with 40 feet to spare. 14-14. Tie game.
For some reason I watched to the bitter end, even though extra innings were essentially and entirely denouement. Cleveland had already won the game by drawing level, and the Mariners had already lost it by blowing the biggest lead in MLB history. Cabrera’s walk-off single in the bottom of the 11th marked only the final blow in a disaster that had already unfolded.
Eighteen years later, this still haunts me. Not like it did then, when it was merely a humiliation, a nationally televised scandal of a game in what was otherwise an enormously successful season. But now, with the Mariners mired in year after year of pain, when the organization considers mediocrity aspirational, it’s hard not to see this as a harbinger of the misery to come, an early visitation of the Mariners in their true colors.
Sometimes I wonder if the current incarnation of the team, the one slowly draining the hope out of my fandom since 2004, is somehow inhabited by the ghost of Aug. 5. It’s ridiculous, of course — a single game, record books or not, has no bearing whatsoever on the standings 18 years later.
But. Still. What if?
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The 7 best things that will happen in the WNBA this season
All of these predictions are totally coming true.
The 2019 WNBA season tips off on Friday night, and it’s set up to be one of the best season ever. The best-of-the-best teams are STACKED this time around, making the champion virtually unpredictable. Four teams stand out with similar title odds — Mystics, Sparks, Aces and Mercury — and each is equipped with multiple All-Stars.
Liz Cambage, the league’s leading scorer, is a Vegas Ace now. Chiney Ogwumike, an All-Star center, joined her MVP sister Nneka AND Candace Parker in Los Angeles. The Mystics’ Elena Delle Donne is (hopefully) healthy again and can team with elite scoring big Emma Meesseman, who’s back in the league after a one-year hiatus. Once Diana Taurasi returns from a back injury, Phoenix will roll.
This is going to be FUN!
To ring in the new season, I won’t give you the usual awards prediction list, because frankly, it’s hard to guess and I’m not trying to get things wrong. Instead, here are seven moments I’m confident will happen at some point.
In no particular order:
1. There will be a new Liz Cambage meme
If you don’t know Liz Cambage, it won’t take you too long to learn how entertaining she is. The 6’8, three-point shooting, league-leading scoring center is incredible to watch on the floor, and she matches that energy off it.
Liz went viral when she fixed a nail on the bench:
lmao I broke a nail tonight :( https://t.co/4WjekOAlhA
— Elizabeth Cambage (@ecambage) July 11, 2018
And when she told a ref to open her eyes:
liz cambage getting ejected for screaming and motioning "OPEN YOUR EYES" to a ref 3 times (with some cursing) is absolutely incredible pic.twitter.com/mVuHlMkEqh
— Matt Ellentuck (@mellentuck) July 12, 2018
She danced on a bus when her technical foul got rescinded:
we dont deserve liz cambage pic.twitter.com/exhpYDQRgK
— Matt Ellentuck (@mellentuck) August 1, 2018
She twerked with hummus:
liz cambage reaaaaally likes hummus pic.twitter.com/O01SE91FqO
— Matt Ellentuck (@mellentuck) July 31, 2018
And with a speaker:
3. I'm even less sure lmfao pic.twitter.com/ZMK90qwYYL
— Matt Ellentuck (@mellentuck) July 28, 2018
And did whatever this is:
2. I'm just not even sure pic.twitter.com/iUh8dDe4rK
— Matt Ellentuck (@mellentuck) July 28, 2018
Liz, we’re ready for more!
2. Indiana Fever guard Kelsey Mitchell will cross someone up
Don’t mess with the Fever’s No. 2 pick from last season As a rookie, Kelsey shattered the ankles of anyone in her path in embarrassing fashion.
kelsey mitchell is filthyyyyyy. yes the fever are winless this season but this is their rookie who is literally a month out of college and i think they're gonna be fine in the future. pic.twitter.com/h79UA7v6V6
— Whitney Medworth (@its_whitney) June 12, 2018
Imagine Kelsey in Year 2!
3. Gabby Williams will make The Pass, Part 2
If you haven’t seen this pass from former UConn star and current Chicago Sky forward Gabby Williams yet, please stop reading and watch:
This Gabby Williams bounce pass is amazing! pic.twitter.com/UkRfydLak5
— SB Nation (@SBNation) June 13, 2018
Part two is coming. I promise.
4. Odyssey Sims is going to hit a buzzer-beater over the Sparks
The L.A. Sparks and Minnesota Lynx have storied beef and an addiction to playing nail-biting close games. They can’t help themselves. It’s only right that the rivalry between teams who split to back-to-back Finals in 2016 and 2017 enters a weirder chapter.
In the offseason, Minnesota traded trade for Sims, a point guard who was once their mortal enemy. Former Lynx player Lindsay Whalen flagrant fouled her and called the fine she received the best $200 she ever spent.
That was it for the buzzer-beaters, but the beef... THIS IS WHERE THE BEEF TRULY REHEATS. Lindsay Whalen is gonna be a HOFer. She's known for being tough as hell. That's why she had no trouble flagrant fouling Odyssey Sims, her nemesis-to be. pic.twitter.com/J4IF5sb2Tr
— Matt Ellentuck (@mellentuck) August 21, 2018
Now, Sims is her replacement! It’s only right Odyssey becomes a Lynx legend.
5. A Diana Taurasi dagger will ruin someone’s night
Taurasi is known for landing knife-to-the-chest daggers in crunch time for wins. It’s what she does, and always has. Last year’s semifinals was no different.
Down 3 with 7.3 seconds left. Enter, Diana Taurasi. pic.twitter.com/zxwR5hNgXm
— espnW (@espnW) August 29, 2018
Taurasi will miss some time due to a back surgery, but when she returns, she’ll be back in business.
6. A’ja Wilson and Liz Cambage are going to do something hilarious on the court
Teaming two of the best talents in the world and two of the league’s most hilarious personalities off it is an absolute dream for fans. If there’s one thing other than play basketball that these two know how to do, it’s HAVE FUN.
They’ve been teammates in Las Vegas for a week, and already we have this:
You better work @_ajawilson22 @ecambage pic.twitter.com/oawJgJyo09
— Las Vegas Aces (@LVAces) May 22, 2019
7. The famous Katie Lou Samuelson meme will make a return
Real UConn fans will remember this meme that Gabby Williams used of her then-teammate, Katie Lou:
him: oh you play ball?! bet i could beat you one on one tho me: pic.twitter.com/XWr9j3VfbY
— gabby williams (@gabbywilliams15) September 18, 2018
It’s hilarious and perfect.
I’ve tried using it, and you should too:
[dudes unpromptedly blowing up my mentions about how much they hate the wnba] me: pic.twitter.com/Tpsb6hCt3W
— Matt Ellentuck (@mellentuck) April 17, 2019
Now that Williams and Samuelson are reunited as members of the Chicago Sky, it has to come back, or else I’ll make it.
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One Thing the NHL Award Voters Didn't Screw Up Was Taylor Hall as MVP
The 2018 NHL Awards show may have felt like it lasted five hours but it only ran [checks watch] two hours and 15 minutes? Holy shit, that can't be right, can it? I've seen Greg Maddux pitch quicker baseball games than that. How did giving out a handful of sports trophies become such a bloated event?
Watch how quickly I can whittle this show down to 90 minutes:
CUT OUT THE LADY BYNG AWARD — Nobody cares and voting (more below) shows voters don't really care, either. Give it away before the show the way the Academy Awards give out the best foreign language animated documentary editing awards weeks earlier in the basement of a Dave & Busters.
NO MORE MAGIC SHOWS — Did we really watch a seven-minute "is this your card" trick? Is this because the show is in Vegas? Let those oiled up dancing guys present an award if you want some Vegas flavor. Stopping the show for a rejected set piece from the Now You See Me 3 script isn't something anyone wants.
NO MORE VIDEO GAME COVER REVEALS — This is very much me being old and shaking my fist at a cloud, but sell your video game during commercial breaks, assholes.
NO MORE JACOB TREMBLAY INTERVIEWS — A trained child actor can't make uncomfortable hockey players fun. Just let the kid host next year.
Listen to the latest episode of Biscuits, VICE Sports' hockey podcast
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I think if you give me enough time I can trim this show to an action-packed hour but we need to move on to the awards and discuss who won, who should have won, and which voters made us laugh the hardest.
NORRIS TROPHY
Winner: Victor Hedman, Tampa Bay Lightning Runners-up: PK Subban, Nashville Predators; Drew Doughty, Los Angeles Kings
Did they get it right? Yes. Hedman, however, is lucky the PHWA gave Doughty his lifetime achievement Norris Trophy a few years ago because his numbers were good enough this season to warrant the sympathy trophy.
What was the funniest vote? There are a lot of worthy choices (Jaccob Slavin was fifth on a ballot!) but this space is dedicated to the PHWA voter who thought Dougie Hamilton was the second-best defenseman in the NHL this season. Hamilton was named on just three of 164 ballots—he was voted fifth on the two others—so either one renegade voter saw something no one else did or a local Calgary media member got too close to the situation.
CALDER TROPHY
Winner: Mat Barzal, New York Islanders Runners-up: Brock Boeser, Vancouver Canucks; Clayton Keller, Arizona Coyotes
Did they get it right? Yes. And by "they" I mean the PHWA voters and not Lou Lamoriello, whose archaic hair rules left Barzal with a much shorter haircut than what he could have had on a special night.
What was the funniest vote? There was nothing too egregious but I'd like to say hi to the Boston voter who felt Jake DeBrusk was the fifth-best rookie in the NHL.
LADY BYNG TROPHY
Winner: William Karlsson, Vegas Golden Knights Runners-up: Ryan O'Reilly, Buffalo Sabres; Aleksander Barkov, Florida Panthers
Did they get it right? Sure. Who knows? Karlsson seems nice. I'm sure he says "sir" and "madam" and knows which one is the salad fork at the royal castle. I have no idea why this award exists.
What was the funniest vote? This award is dumb but the criteria is very clear — be gentlemanly. So most voters just look for guys with a lot of points and few penalty minutes. The problem with that is it leaves a blind spot that leads to Auston Matthews finishing eighth in voting (with six first-place votes) and Connor McDavid finishing 10th (with two first-place votes). Why is this funny?
McDavid was hit with an abuse of officials penalty in January and Matthews mocked a referee a few days earlier by pointing at the net after scoring a goal because an earlier goal was disallowed. Were those two things fantastic? You bet. Would I like to see more of this? Oh yeah.
But it should disqualify them from getting any votes for "gentlemanly" play during that season. You may as well have a Tallest Player Award and give it to Mats Zuccarello.
SELKE TROPHY
Winner: Anze Kopitar, Los Angeles Kings Runners-up: Sean Couturier, Philadelphia Flyers; Patrice Bergeron, Boston Bruins
Did they get it right? No. I mean, I guess not. I don't know. Why is there a best defensive forward award but not a best offensive defenseman award? More sports need extremely narrow awards for specific positions. Baseball can adopt a best infielder base runner. Football can honor the best tight end route runners. But apparently Kopitar wasn't as good this year as he has been in the past. They should just give it to Bergeron every year until he decides it's time to give it to Brad Marchand.
What was the funniest vote? Nobody voted for a defenseman or goaltender so this vote is devoid of humor.
JACK ADAMS AWARD
Winner: Gerard Gallant, Vegas Golden Knights Runners-up: Jared Bednar, Colorado Avalanche; Bruce Cassidy, Boston Bruins
Did they get it right? Yes. In any other season, Bednar runs away with this and there's a case to be made he deserved it more than Gallant, but guiding an expansion team to a 100-point season made this automatic. They survived two months during the first half without Marc-Andre Fleury and still cruised to a playoff spot.
What was the funniest vote? I'd like to meet the two people who felt Randy Carlyle of the Anaheim Ducks was the second-best coach, which means they felt Carlyle did a better job than either Gallant or Bednar. I'm putting my money on one of those votes coming from Steve Simmons.
VEZINA TROPHY
Winner: Pekka Rinne, Nashville Predators Runners-up: Andrei Vasilevskiy, Tampa Bay Lightning; Connor Hellebuyck, Winnipeg Jets
Did they get it right? Yeah, but who did John Gibson piss off among the general managers who voted for this award? Somehow he finished sixth behind Frederik Andersen, who somehow finished fourth with a first-place vote despite a pedestrian .918 save percentage. Apparently the Hockey Men can be just as bad at voting as people who Never Played The Game.
What was the funniest vote? Easily, it's the guy who felt Andersen was the best goaltender in the NHL this season. We likely will never figure out which GM cast this vote, but my guess is Marc Bergevin. Why? Because Andersen went 3-0 with a .950 save percentage against the Canadiens this season, and that's the sort of dumbass shit Bergevin would do. If this ever gets confirmed, please tweet a screenshot of this paragraph with the link to the story, because clicks are always nice.
GENERAL MANAGER OF THE YEAR
Winner: George McPhee, Vegas Golden Knights Runners-up: Kevin Cheveldayoff, Winnipeg Jets; Steve Yzerman, Tampa Bay Lightning
Did they get it right? No! Here's the thing—we give the Jack Adams to the coach of the team we all thought would be crap before the season that turned out to be awesome. The reason we think a team is crap is how the GM builds it. So how can Gallant be the best coach if he's simply coaching the team assembled by the best GM? You can't have both! This is also a flawed award because Cheveldayoff (he should have won!) slowly built the team over many years. McPhee did some nice things in the expansion draft but tricking Dale Tallon into giving you two studs for nothing isn't a big deal when Tallon probably still falls for the "got your nose" trick.
What was the funniest vote? This award is chosen by a swath of front-office and media types, so please let me meet the person who decided Ron Hextall was GM of the Year so I can take an Amtrak down to Philadelphia and have a Yuengling with this local.
HART TROPHY
Winner: Taylor Hall, New Jersey Devils Runners-up: Nathan MacKinnon, Colorado Avalanche; Anze Kopitar, Los Angeles Kings
Did they get it right? Yes! Surprisingly! And the vote was close—Hall edged MacKinnon by 70 points and held a 72-60 advantage in first-place votes. Hall had a slightly better MVP case and he won by a margin that presented that case. I went through all the ballots, looked very closely, and it turns out nobody casted a Hart vote for Adam Larsson.
What was the funniest vote? There wasn't anything all that "what an idiot" funny but a very "huh, that's funny" vote was Sidney Crosby getting just one fifth-place vote and nothing else. He had 89 points in 82 games, finished 10th in scoring but found himself tied in voting with Eric Staal and behind Artemi Panarin. It feels a little like the end of an era but also a little like taking Crosby for granted. Maybe it's both.
This article originally appeared on VICE Sports CA.
One Thing the NHL Award Voters Didn't Screw Up Was Taylor Hall as MVP published first on https://footballhighlightseurope.tumblr.com/
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