#dude COME ON

[headless-witch]

Tea Party with Mother Spore

Wait- what? you’re not coming to his tea party?! BETHANY, SHE MADE mind controlling spores for you to join her hivemind BISCUITS!!

[eddie-redcliffe]

[beaft]

customer just looked at the two sizes of coffee cup that we offer, which we keep lined up on the counter as a handy visual aid, and said, "which one is the large?"

and i could think of no other way to respond than "the 'large' cup is the cup that is bigger than the other one"

[muirneach]

cincinnati keeps traumatizing carlos

[sedlex]

Dude seriously? At least send him and yourself a copy by email and upload it on a bunch of private accounts... like, come on, this is the perfect recipe for "oh no, the proof got very much destroyed" and now we're back to square -2

[cowboyemeritus]

ugh thinking about being Mary's cottagecore gf again

“Dude, is that your girl?” Mary instantly perks up at the mention of you, his head whipping in the direction the guitar tech is looking. You’re not hard to spot, a flare of pastels in a sea of black and blood red. Your eyes meet and you smile, giving him a cute little wave that makes his heart skip a beat.

“Yeah,” Mary says, grinning. “That’s her.” The tech snickers.

“She just get back from the renaissance festival or something?” He’s been a judgmental asshole for as long as Mary has known him, but now he’s dangerously close to crossing a line. He doesn’t want to spoil the mood, though. Because you’re here, everything should be perfect.

Mary shrugs, turning his attention back to his instrument, though all he wants to do is look at you. “Just her style, man.” One of the sound engineers comes up to ask him a question and the tech elbows him a little too hard in the ribs, laughing.

“Bro’s fucking whipped,” he says, now fully neglecting his job. “I thought you were only into goth chicks, Goore. What happened? You gonna start dressing like a medieval peasant, too?” Mary’s had just about enough of this guy.

“You got a fucking problem with my girl?” Out of the corner of his eye he sees you watching, brow furrowed with concern. It’s loud enough in the room that you shouldn’t be able to hear the commotion on stage, but he still worries. The last thing he wants is for you to feel self-conscious.

The tech scratches his neck, taken aback by Mary snapping at him. “Nah, dude.” He laughs again, nervously this time. “You know I’m just playing.”

Mary grunts. “Well maybe you get to fucking work instead. We’re on in,” he glances over at the digital clock on the far wall, “ten minutes. Go, before I fucking kick your ass.” The tech scampers off without another word. Mary looks back in your direction, sees you mouth everything okay?, then flashes you a quick thumbs up.

The show goes by in a blur. All Mary wants is to scoop you up in his arms.

You wait for him, long after the regular concertgoers have filed out. A few groupies hang around, no doubt wanting a piece of Mary and/or one of his other bandmates. He has eyes only for you, though, and as soon as he’s free from responsibility he practically flies to where you’re leaning against the stage, enveloping you with his lanky body. He kisses you hard, his tongue delving into your sweet mouth before pulling away and taking a good look at you. From this angle he can see right down your loose, puffy shirt. Instead of acting out, though, he gives you another quick kiss.

“Hey, gorgeous,” he says, cradling your cheek with callused fingers. It’s adorable that, even after all this time, you still get flustered when he calls you that. “Glad you could make it.”

“Sorry I didn’t get the chance to change,” you murmur, looking away. “A bunch of middle-schoolers made a mess of the reading room, and-“ He quiets you with another kiss, delighting in how you melt against him. People are staring, but Mary couldn’t care less. You make such a pretty pair, it’s only natural that they’d be jealous.

“You look beautiful, baby.” He pulls you in closer so that you can feel his hard-on against your thigh. “But if it’s any consolation, you’ll be out of these clothes soon enough.”

[yellow-yarrow]

Talking to an acquaintance..at some point they tell me they are dating a cop, and joked about sending them to check on the neighbor who smokes weed...

[kc5rings]

“The stars are falling and scorpions manifest in my home physically but my breathing seems fine, must be the anemia again”

- Tohno Shiki

[electricpurrs]

😭

[misfortunekeep]

The thing about getting into fandoms for their fics is that you fall in love with a ship and the possibilities that come with it, go online to scream about them and find out that most of the fandom hate them.

[fat-fem-and-asian]

barbara inviting melissa to her airport date (with gerald's support)

[brainyrot]

Bendy: for anyone who I did wrong, I just wanna say, I'll do it again

[kajiimotojiiro]

RAII!!! RAII WE WERE GOING TO WATCH A NEW YOUTUBER!! RAII NO THOSE ARE THE SAME DISTURBING PICTURES EVERYONE COVERS!!!! RAII NOT AGAIN!!!!

[leprosycock]

Just piggybacking off that one anon who asked you if you were a Conservative lmao, are you a transphobe?

not in the slightest and i don’t understand what made you think or say this. i also explained to that other anon that i am not a conservative and i feel as though that should be obvious from the kind of content i make. complaining about very specific slimy grifter liberal men with unbearable personalities should not automatically equate me being a conservative and it’s concerning if you think it does

[starchilddante]

My mom once threw away a rainbow eraser because she couldn't remember how many stripes the "real rainbow" had. Lmao didn't stop me from becoming ultra gay tho

[just-a-queer-fanboy]

@staff you have to be fucking joking