#drunkposting is bestposting

[klootviola]

it really shouldn't be this hard

i say it, quietly, in my head or onder my breath everyday. mostly to stray cats and dogs, and to people heading the same way on the train as me.

i can say it out loud, sometimes, too. admittedly when i'm drunk, which i think is probably bad, or when i feel free and like whatever i do won't have any consequence because i can always disappear, which might be just as bad but i think i'm just too young to know

i'm somehow afraid that i'll scare you off. that like a secret, it will disappear when i speak it. that when you read this, you'll think i'm nuts, or worse, immature. or nuts that i'm afraid to be scared to be immature. and so on and so on.

when i wake up and get to cuddle up to you and bury myself in your lap. that feeling. i hope that's it. i really hope it is.