#drunk hypocrite club!!!

[last-starry-sky]

KATE the way you left it! I’ll be honest. He can watch us have the most sensual, passionate kiss and go down on each other but if he touches her, I’d explode with jealousy. I’m a hypocrite 💀 does asshole Simon just want to get back at us and make us jealous in a threesome?? (thank you for your lovely writing 💕)

*rubs my greedy hands together like a bug* oooooh boy :)

ghost/bi!reader/f!oc (no name used, so she can be read as another reader insert but w/e)

[MDNI - NSFW: 4.2k, weird jealous simon being a creep , pet-names, oral, slight dub-con elements but both girls just roll with it so ymmv, forced m/f/f threesome, dirty talk, light d/s elements, Simon and oc talk you through it, unprotected piv, cumming on the outside, hand-job, implied cum eating. ]

thank u btw! sorry this took almost a month! i really wanted to give this a good part 2!

You don’t know what made you want to sink directly into the concrete more: Simon staring at you, leaning one arm cooly out the window, eyes hard and disappointed as they sweep once up your form taking in your short shorts and skin-tight tank top. His jaw is clenched so hard you think he’s going to crack a tooth. It makes you want to cry, beg, run toward him and explain it’s all a mistake. That you didn’t mean it. It’s not what it looks like.

Or, the terrible pit that opens in your stomach as his eyes drift ever so subtly to the women curled around your back. Her hands grab at your thighs, vining up to your waist, before giggling in your ear as she hugged your chest and rest her head on your shoulder. There’s a glint in Simon’s flint-hard eye, a softness to his lips that he tried to hide with a cough and stubborn turn of his head, but you saw it. You almost wish you didn’t. Maybe it was just the way she swayed her hips behind you, dress glittering in the streetlight. 

“Sooooo,” she said leaning hard on her words, sounding more drunk than she actually was, “this is your guy?”

Simon’s fingers drummed against the side of the door as his dark eyes were turned back at you, staring through his brow. There was not a hint of impatience in the action. 

“Yeah,” you answered turning your head to the woman behind you, wary of breaking eye contact with Simon. “Kinda. We-”

“Well,” she said matter-of-factly, “just so you know, my offer stands.” She hugged you closer before whispering in your ear.  “Do you need me to get you out of here?”

You shook your head. You didn’t think Simon would hurt you, or her, but you hated for a great evening to be ruined.

“Oi!” Simon called out, lightly smacking the outside of the car door to get your attention. “Not waiting all night like a bloody taxi. Get in.” Then, after a long moment looking the pair of you over, tacked on, “Both ‘f you.”

“You don’t-” you tried to tell the woman behind you, but she was already twining her arm around yours, leading you to your car. 

She gave Simon a smug, celebratory smile as she bounced past him, dress shimmying alluringly around her body as she hauled you behind her. She turned to you as she opened the door, letting go of your hand and pulling you in by the small of your back for a quick kiss. You could feel Simon’s hot stare on you as she lingered on your lips for just a bit too long.

“Thanks for the ride,” she said before ducking into the car.

You followed quickly behind her. Simon had the drivers seat pulled all the way back to fit his long legs, so you squished into the middle seat, close to your new “friend”. 

“Cuddle up, baby,” she giggled, pulling your legs into her lap. “Plenty of room.”

You heard Simon grunt out an exasperated noise as he jerked the car back out into the lane, swerving angrily around the smokers loitering outside the club. Your heart pounded as he sped down the dark, busy road, zipping in between cars with little concern as to how much he was throwing the two of you around in the backseat. 

“Okay?” she whispered as held you, soothingly stroking her hands down your back as you rocked to and fro until you relaxed into her shoulder. 

You nodded, lifting up your head to hug her. She sighed as your cheeks pressed together, hands drifting to your hips, letting her fingers trace the frayed hem of your shorts. She smelled so good. She must have dabbed a bit of perfume behind her ears, because your nose lit up with the bright, spicy scent of oranges. You turned your lips to her cheek, inhaling it, and she moaned a rough “oh”, hands curling into the skin of your thigh. 

You only intended to press a kiss, just one, to her neck, but that turned into a line of open kissed up to her cheek. You didn’t need Simon noticing. The woman underneath you had other plans. She turned her face to meet you, capturing your lips. She filled your mouth with lemon and seltzer and the dry, piny, acidity of gin. You couldn’t help but melt into it, chase after it, lick it wildly from her mouth. When you palmed at her breast under the glittery, nubby fabric, startling away as she moved. She broke the kiss to moan against your mouth. 

“Again. Please,” she whispered, dark and needy, placing your hand back on her chest.

A car screamed around you, horn blaring. Simon swerved the car back and forth, throwing you onto your back against the opposite seat with her on top of you.

“Keepin’ y’ own fuckin’ lane!” Simon shouted out the window. “Fuckin’ cunt. Learn t’ fuckin’ drive,” he said hoarsely, slamming his palm down on your poor steering wheel. 

The woman on top of you giggled into your neck. You looked up in time to see Simon’s eyes narrow in on yours in the rear view mirror. Your heart was pounding out of your chest.

“Wha’s so fuckin’ funny back there?” he growled. You heard him hit the turn signal, slow down, and pull over into the left turn lane. 

She pulled her head up slightly, body shaking as she tried to contain her laughter. 

“Distracting you?” she asked before collapsing back into your neck, giggles bubbling out.

Simon scoffed, rolling his eyes as he went back to watching traffic. 

She didn’t stop kissing you the rest of the ride. Even the change from Simon zipping down the busy, downtown streets to the slow crawl down the narrow roads of your neighborhood didn’t register. You were too busy tweaking her nipples through her dress, and then under her dress, while she rutted against your thigh.

It wasn’t until Simon opened the car door that you came crashing back to reality. The both of you looked up at him as he glowered down at you. Your view was upside down, making him look so much taller and intimidating. The way he leaned that stocky, muscled body of his against the car door while he waited, the same body that filled out those stupid light wash jeans and baggy hoodie, it made you want to push up his shirt to see those muscles he had sent you pictures of all those months ago. 

You blushed. You hated how horny he made you, how you still wanted him after what an asshole he’d been since his arrival. 

“Out,” he commanded, stepping back as you lost the warmth on top of you. 

You detangled from each other before shuffling out under Simon’s heavy gaze. He leaned against the door, arms crossed, his bulk pushing the frame slightly to the side. You couldn’t meet his stare as you waited in the cool night air for the other woman to get out. When she did, it was sensual, lurid, like she was still putting on a show. She didn’t give even a glance over to Simon. Instead, she pressed herself to you, pulling you into a tight hug. 

“Thanks for a great time tonight,” she said sliding her hands down your back to your ass, grabbing a handful as she bit her lip.

Then she turned to Simon. You turned your head with her, catching him as he palmed the front of his jeans. 

That was nothing. Probably, absolutely, nothing.

“Want me to umm . . .” she said coquettishly, batting her eyelashes as she trailed her hands back up your body, uncaring that she pulled your shirt up too. “. . . call an Uber?” She finished her sentence with a press forward into your breasts that made you shiver. “Don’t want to intrude if you two-”

“Get inside,” Simon commanded before popping off the side of the car and walking toward your backdoor, leaving no room for argument as he left you looking at one another. 

You waited for your backdoor to slam closed behind Simon to say anything.

“You can leave if you want,” you said pulling away until it was just your hands cupping her cold shoulders. “I had a great time. I really did, but I should, you know,” you tipped your head toward the house, “clear things up with him.”

“You sure?” she asked sadly.

“Yeah,” you said letting your eyes and body drift away. 

You tried to search for the right way to phrase your thoughts, but came up empty. The details of his life you’d been able to pull from your conversations had been brief, but always harrowing. It felt wrong to divulge to a near-stranger what little he’d told you. It was a lonely, bleak life he lived, with so much was still sealed away, secret, buried deep deep in the past. Maybe that was why you’d let him attach to you, why you’d still let him in after how he treated you. He was a old, abused dog of a man. Anyone else would have turned him away, but your heart was soft, always too soft. Even if it ruined this little bit of happiness, you’d give him another chance. 

“He’s been through a lot, but he’s a good guy. Funny,” you finally said as her hand curled back around yours.

“Then I’ll stay,” she said resolutely, smiling as she pulled you toward the door. 

The two of you stumbled through the dark kitchen, hands already roaming, trying to touch each other through your clothes as you stifled your laughter. She let you lead from here. You pulled her backwards, down the narrow hall of your little one-floor bungalow, past the bathroom and guest bedroom you had set Simon up in. Both were dark. 

It did cross your mind for a moment, as she was biting at your top lip and pawing at your face, that you didn’t know exactly where Simon was, but the thought evaporated as you pushed her against your bed. She pulled herself up and then you on top of her. Both of your shoes clattered to the floor along with your shorts.

“Want you,” she moaned against your lips, pulling your shirt off. “So bad. Just, please, touch me, however you want.”

You hiked her dress up and off, slipping your hands underneath her panties at her hips. She sighed as you pulled them down. She was fucking beautiful, pussy absolutely drenched and quivering, waiting impatiently for you. You liked how clear she was with you, communicating as best as she could even this turned on. Still, you were more than a little nervous with what you had to say.

“I’ve, um . . . never done this before-,” you whispered, trailing your hand hesitantly across her mons.

She placed her hand on yours and pushed you down, forcing your fingers through her slick folds. Oh, she felt just heavenly. It made you squirm a bit yourself. 

“Just do what feels good for you,” she instructed breathlessly, jumping as you circled her clit.

You nodded, letting her shuffle up the bed to give you room. She let you lead again, falling back against the mattress, allowing you to position her legs as you got in a comfortable position. 

Your first lick up her slit was light and experimental. Fuck did she taste good, though: sweaty and briny and real. You dove in again and again, listening to her light sighs as she curled her fingers in your hair. When you got lucky and had someone eat you out, (god it had been so long) you liked it when they started slow and built you into your orgasm. You did the same for her, tongue light as you swirled around her clit, leaning in to suck at it just to hear her breathy moan. You hoped she would like it.

You jumped as a blunt finger traced up the seam of your pussy through your underwear.  

“Gon’ make her cum, lovie?” 

You whipped your head around, gasp falling from your mouth. Simon was leaning over the bed, his body only visible from his chest up like he was materializing out of the dark like some sort of specter.

You tried to turn, to cover yourself, anything, but it was no use. He drew himself further out of the shadows to kneel on the bed behind you. The hand on your pussy planted itself between your shoulder blades, pushing your face back down into the cunt in front of you.

“Finish ‘er off. Don’t pay me no mind,” he said low and dark, saddling up behind you.

You flicked your eyes up to the woman in front of you, nervous as to what she would think of this. To your surprise her hungry, low cast eyes were on Simon. She bit her lip and tossed her head to the side before looking back down at you as her hand crawled back to the crown of your head. 

It spiked something in you, that look she gave him. It made you think back to all of the other long glances they had shared. What was going on between them? You’d assumed it was simple jealousy, a silly fight for dominance, for you. What ever it was, it made you dive back into her pussy with a renewed purpose. You had wanted her to come before, of course, but now you needed her to come. You needed to prove yourself to her, to feel her come undone with just your lips and tongue. You needed Simon to see you do it with equal measure.

Fingers curled in your hair and the woman below you shallowly bucked up into your mouth, a long low moan following. You almost didn’t feel Simon unclasping your bra. 

“Tha’s it. Doin’ good. Keep goin’, lovie. Can see her legs shakin’, right? Know she’s close,” Simon commented. His voice was suddenly very close to your ear now that he was leaning over your back, rutting his jean-clad cock against the cleft of your ass.

All you cared about was those words. She’s close. You could feel it. Her whole core was shuddering against you. Poor, empty pussy clenching against nothing as you sucked on her clit, tongue lapping again and again at the sweet juice that poured from her.

She came suddenly with the cry of a high-pitched oh! as she rode your face, nails biting into your scalp. You stole a look up at her head thrown back against your pillow, the long column of her neck shimmering with sweat. She looked so beautiful. You worked her through it, slowly swirling your tongue around her pulsing clit until she let out a overstimulated whine.

You had wanted to crawl up into her arms after, to hold her and have that sweet moment of pillow talk before letting her fall asleep. Simon didn’t let you have that. He hauled you up against his chest. You thumped against his dark, solid mass that he almost knocked the breath from you. One hand kept you braced to his chest while the other wiped her slick from your mouth, petting your glossy lips with something resembling intimacy.

“Feel better now, hmm?” he asked, tipping your jaw up roughly to force you to face him. “Taste some pussy and now y’ ready to behave f’ me? Spoiled girl.”

You didn’t let you answer him before he set to work. The hand on you chest pulled your loose bra off your arms. One task done, he continued downward to slip a hand past the band of your panties. His large fingers skimmed straight to your dripping hole, ignoring your aching clit. You squirmed as he circled your entrance with those devastatingly large fingers. 

“She do good?” he asked the blissed out woman in front of you, still forcing your head to face him. 

“Mmm hmmm,” you heard her hum, sliding herself leisurely down the pillows until she was beneath you. “Really good for her first time.”

Without warning, he let go of you, leaving the woman below you to catch you. She sighed happily as she hugged you to her chest, pet your hair, and peppered your face with little kisses. Simon tossed his shirt off before pulling the back of your underwear to the side. He kicked your legs wide enough for him to fit his legs between yours with a single low huff of a laugh. 

“Should reward y’ then, huh? Give you that dick y’ve been beggin’ for since I bloody fuckin’ got here?” he said sarcastically, a finger plunging suddenly into you. 

You smothered a whine in the crook of her neck. Simon groaned, pumping the finger in and out, lewd, wet squelching filling the room.

“Fuckin’ wet,” he said breathless, leaning on his words. He bent over you again, large hand pressing an extreme arch into your back as he spoke into your ear. “Get this wet makin’ me watch? Thinkin’ you can make me jealous enough I’d finally fuck y’ proper?”

You answered with a muffled whine, smashed between the bodies under and on top of you. 

You heard Simon unzip his jeans. You expected to feel some part of his skin not long after. When you didn’t, you turned your head to investigate. Your eyes went wide at what you saw. The woman below you, the one you had made out with and eaten out in front of your quasi-unofficial boyfriend, the one that you had unwittingly set up as a rival to this intimidating, mountain of a man, was stroking gently at his face. 

They stared each other down with lusty, hooded eyes for a moment, unsure how this would end. Your mouth fell open as you watched Simon’s eyes flutter shut before leaning in the last few inches to seal his mouth over hers. A blush bloomed over your cheeks as a sudden understanding filled you. This is what it was like to watch someone you liked make out with someone else. To be on the outside looking in. You could only imagine what hell you’d put Simon through tonight. A small pain twisted in your stomach. The hard part was, you liked both of them. You really did, but there was something about your exclusion that made you feel the bite of a certain green-eyed snake.  

Simon was the one who pulled away, a delicate string of saliva connecting their open mouths. It made you whine and squeeze her arm with want. You wanted that. 

“Quit whinin’,” he mumbled, hauling himself back up.

Hands beneath you grabbed at the fat of your ass, squeezing and spreading you wide. She giggled as she presented your leaking holes to the man behind you. Good god, they were working together now. 

Simon groaned as you felt his cock tap once, twice against your ass before notching the head at the entrance to your pussy. He pushed in fully, without waiting, with another breathy groan. You held the woman below you as a pitiful squeak ripped from your chest. 

She pet your hair as she cooed, “Aww, is he too big, baby?”

You couldn’t answer. Simon settling the full length of his cock inside you stole the last of your brain power. 

She giggled again, her hands sliding up your back as Simon’s large hands settled in their place. They both held you down as he began to fuck relentlessly into you, the weight and curve of his cock forcing you fully, deliciously open, knocking at your cervix with every thrust. 

“I bet he is,” she purred in your ear. “Looks like a big boy. Acts like it, too.”

Every impact of his hips forced an involuntary, choked moan from your throat. Your hands gripped tight in the sheets. It’s all you could do as he pounded his full length into you again and again and again.

“Been waitin’,” Simon huffed, rough and deep, as he leaned over you. The change of position made you keen into the mattress. “Been waitin’ f’ this since, fuck,” he said losing his train of thought in his rhythmic slide in and out of the clutch of your cunt.

You knew exactly what he was trying to say. It was the night you finally sent him a dirty picture. It was only because you were drunk and he had promised to send more of his bare skin in return. The picture itself was shit. Dark and grainy, thanks to your shitty phone camera and mirror, but you were still in your bra and panties, leaning over the foot-board of your bed to get a good angle, and that was all he had asked for.

He didn’t respond for about an hour, which made you nervous. You spent most of that hour convinced he hated what he saw. Finally, you made yourself send him a single question mark followed by “you good?” just to make sure he was still alive.

“fuck love” he had responded, followed by a picture of his cum painting the palm of his hand, the leg of his tan pants, and spotting the floor if you could trust your eyes and his equally shitty photo. “more than good”

You’d fallen into a blissful sleep after that, waking up to the best text you’d ever received. 

“can’t wait to get my hands on you”

Now here he is, finally railing you into the bed like you’d wanted. It’s impatient, sloppy, and little too rough, but fuck it, he’s here. You can feel all of his frustration pouring into you, the long, exhausting months spent on the job without the time for basic needs, let alone time to beat off. 

Something tripped in your brain. There had always been this desire to please within you. A need to give and give and give but never take. There was something about how mercilessly he was fucking you that made you melt. You weren’t just taking it, you wanted it. 

He pulled out of you suddenly, one big hand rolling you on to your back. You flopped onto the mattress, slightly to the right, but still on top of the other woman. Her hands and legs wound around you, spreading you open and squeezing at your tits as Simon worked himself to completion.

“On her pussy,” she sighed, a hand coming down to rub at your neglected clit. “Do it, Si. She’ll look so pretty coated in your cum.”

He followed her command to the letter, eyes pinching shut as he came with a moan, falling onto one hand as rope after rope of his spend shot across your splayed open sex.

Wow, you thought. He really had cum that much. 

He pulled himself back upright with a groan, wiping his hand on the sheets below him. The fingers on your pussy didn’t stop as you’d expected, though. You shivered and whined as she expertly wound you tighter and tighter, orgasm fast approaching.

“Can I finish her?” she asked Simon, voice breathy as she watched her fingers work his warm, sticky cum around your nub. “Been so good to us. Think she deserves it.”

You looked up at Simon, eyes wet and pleading as whines after pitiful whine fell from your mouth. Fuck did you want to cum so bad. She had you teetering on a knife’s edge, just a few more targeted swipes and you would be there.

He nodded silently, smoothing his hands down your legs as he watched. You let your head roll to the side as she began to work tight circles over the exposed head of your pearl. 

You opened your mouth to cry out as you came, but a mouth covered yours. You shuddered as his tongue slowly licked into your mouth, absorbing your cries. It was more than you could take. You felt tears roll down your cheeks as you curled your arms around his neck. When he pulled away you cried out his name as you fell from your peak.

“Si. Si. Si.”

He pecked a final kiss to your top lip before falling to your side with a groan. Your head was still floating, but that made you pliant, moveable enough for him to pull you over against his chest. Feeling something missing, you reached out, grabbing at nothing until you felt a body slide into your arms with a muffled, contented laugh. 

“Right here, baby,” she said, popping her fingers out of her mouth to kiss your forehead. “Not going anywhere.”

A moment of silence fell as you all caught your breaths. Simon felt like a rock behind you. You assumed he had fallen asleep. The woman laying next to you was just as sleepy as you, heavy eyes fluttering shut as her chest began to rise and fall slowly and rhythmically. 

“‘s fine by me,” Simon mumbled into your hair, “Din’ plan on lettin’ either ’f y’ go.”

a/n: thank u, first of all, to my kind, patient anon who started all this. u da best ❤️ I hope you like this! i also can't believe i wrote my first non-straight fic in pride month, lmao. Now to get part 3 of Girl's Night Out finished for my anniversary!!!

[manicpixiefelix]

Vampire!Reader and Venetia definitely have a very intriguing relationship. She loves seeing their fangs and the coldness of their skin.

Venetia who's definitely travelled and enjoyed her fair share of vampire clubs and bites yet calls her brother a "special kind of slag" with that mean, knowing smile, knowing she's a hypocrite but not caring because she likes riling Felix up however she can. Venetia who's always checking in on Duncan and making sure he's alright and has everything he needs, who genuinely cares about him but only when no-one else is paying attention. Venetia who curls up on the reader, interrupting whatever they're doing, several times a day in summer because even under direct sun they're nice and cold. Venetia who won't let the reader bite her, but will come to the reader every time she has any kind of cut or scrape with a coy smile - "kiss it better?" - since vampire venom dramatically speeds up the healing process. Venetia who steals sloppy kisses from the reader when she's drunk to taste your venom. Venetia who begged you for weeks as a young teenager to see your fangs, who has a habit of still asking when she's tipsy and sleepy. Venetia who you'd spent nights talking and laughing together when you were younger, and when you finally showed her your teeth she'd gotten so starry eyed. Venetia who spent nights counting and recounting your teeth, and asking if you lose vampire teeth like baby teeth and other questions you couldn't really answer. Venetia who was the first to call you a shark with your two rows of teeth. Venetia who still remembers how many teeth you had at fourteen and keeps asking if you grew any more since you last saw her, every holidays.

Venetia, who once told you that she wished your lovely smile wasn't used for biting her slag of a brother. You pushed her into the lake. She emerged laughing.

[beanghostprincess]

Hey sweetie!! I realized I have been absent from your inbox for quite some time and that simply will not do, I am legally required to annoy people I like, it's the Law.

Therefore, I thus drop even MORE transfem Buggy ideas, silliest, and snippets in the hopes of making you smile and/or laugh bc you deserve nice things I wanna throw them at you ♡♡♡♡♡

• Buggy coming out as trans over the course of a loooooong time, where she had Inklings of it young (Buggy+Toki bonding my beloved), and for a while just went "it is what it is, it's my nose that makes me hate mirrors so much-" and thus reclaiming the nose with the clown aesthetic and commitment to the circus bit. And it's enjoyable, really, the colors and patterns are So Good, and the makeup feels WONDERFUL, and all dolled up, Buggy doesn't want to punch the mirror quite so much.

It's only with Alvida and their Mean Girls Gossip Club being founded that there are some late night, semi-drunk conversations and Buggy says something like "everything sucks but I think things would be better if I were born a girl, ya know-?"

Cue Alvida taking that as a "women have it easy" type of thing (it's not), and so she and Buggy make a bet - dress as a girl, go out for a night, and play the part. They pick a small, no name island, pick an equally small, no name town, and hit the bars there. And Buggy is.... thriving.

It's not all sunshine and daisies, and Buggy sees first hand what women experience, but there's a shift in the movements, in Her Chest, and suddenly things are clicking, she's stepping aside, she's off to the restroom, and she is staring into the mirror there, blue eyes wide and hair loose around her shoulders and she really Looks. Fingertips brush the cool, smooth surface before her, trembling with fear, with anticipation, with joy and grief and anger and love. She barely notices when Al comes up to her side, when a pale hand brushes her shoulder. It's the question which throws her.

"What are you thinking?"

And in the tiny little bar bathroom at Seas-knows-what-time, Buggy has a sudden accidental baptism, and Alvida takes her hands through it all.

Buggy comes home to her ship, her crew, with knowledge, with a new awareness, a new fear, a new joy.

Her crew are nothing if not welcoming, and when she tells them, faux-casual and already edging into defensive aggression, they are simply delighted. They are ecstatic. They don't even question it, just beam and offer hugs and ask if they should still call her Buggy and Captain and Ringmaster, because she is theirs and they are hers they will be as good for her as she is for them, by the Seas as their witness.

And Buggy is happy, is safe, is emotional, is loved.

• coming out publicly is an ordeal, especially with the media storm already occurring elsewhere. She doesn't even think to do it. It's her crew that bristle when someone misunderstood her, the first two times a passable correction, then a point of disrespect. People do not disrespect their captain lightly.

• An article is written about her, and the contents are.... unkind at best. Interestingly enough, another article is never published by that journalist, and there is now no trace of their existence beyond that point. It was not Buggy and her gang who did it, though.

• Crocodile and Mihawk are both bisexual, and they do not initially know of Buggy's gender identity until well into the Guild's existence, after that article full of heresay and guessing. Not many want to correct such powerful men, after all.

When it DOES come out, they don't even really treat Buggy any differently. Just nod, verify name, ask for pronouns, and it's back to business. It's refreshingly normal and bittersweet.

• when they eventually being courting Buggy asks if her gender is.... going to be a problem. Crocodile just sneers. "It'd be hypocritical of me to not date someone transgender. I may pass as cis, but I made myself into the man I am today. Who cares?"

Mihawk just kind of laces his fingers with hers and states that "your body is but a vessel, and I care only for the wielder. The forms of your body matter not to me beyond your own joys in it."

• they also go on to be rather protective of their girlfriend. Business transactions have, and will, be dropped if a group is not respectful of her or has a history of it. Money is money, certainly, but business is a gamble and the deck is stacked against them with such animosity. After all, would you trust someone visibly aggressive with you over an ambivalent stranger when both hold a gun?

• just for shits and giggles, open relationships, and Shanks being fucking FERAL for Buggy and it's an absolute hot mess because he loves his clown wife so much-

• extra funnies, many others ALSO love his clown wife. Including, to his dramatic betrayal and theatric tears, many in his own crew.

• Rayleigh shows up at Karai Bari without warning to give Buggy a piece of his mind - not about her being a woman, no, that's fine, he loves her regardless, but about how she hasn't called him even ONCE just to give him the news that he has a DAUGHTER, she KNOWS he wanted a little girl, Buglet, why have you hurt him so-?

"You never gave me your number???"

"I didn't??"

"NO?????"

"Oh."

"Yeah, OH, you senile old fart!!!"

"Hey, missy, no need for that kind of disrespect-"

• Luffy, Zoro, and Ussop bond over "my dad/dad-figure has done it with the clown lady" and Sanji is just laughing at their misery while Jimbei is trying so hard not to make eye contact lest they see his own clown fucking history ((it was one time but he wouldn't be against a repeat-))

I'm eepy so that's all I have now but ily nini ♡♡♡♡

HELLO SWEETIE HOW I'VE MISSED YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!! 💖💖💖🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻 I am so glad you're back for more ideas and headcanons of our wonderful Buggy 💖💖

Toki and Buggy bonding my beloved but I absolutely adore what you said about Buggy blaming her nose at first instead of like, actually thinking why her image bothers her so much,,, She doesn't want to think further about it so she just guesses it had to be the nose because it's the one thing that's wrong with her,, But then she has the whole "I wish I were a girl because it would be easier" mindset still after claiming the clown aesthetic,,, My girl,,,

And the way she finds out I am,,, Gonna cry,,, The way it starts as a bet and Alvida is genuinely mad at her at first for her commentary about women but then she sees Buggy visibly upset because she's having the realization™ in the middle of a crowd. And I can't stop thinking about how it'd be sweet and comforting and,, You know. It'd feel like a family, something they don't really seem a lot of times because of their catastrophic dynamic. But Buggy would feel seen and loved and she knows Alvida will be there for her through it all no matter what. It's kind of weird to be comforted by a younger woman and I think Buggy would feel a bit ashamed for that?? But Al would tell her that there is no age to support each other, especially in womanhood.

I love how protective her crew is but mostly how little Crocodile and Mihawk care about this 😭 They really said "well if this doesn't affect us I don't care what you are but at least we are going to refer to you properly because we are not monsters, thank you". And also Crocodile is trans so it just makes sense. And what the hell with Mihawk's words??? This man is so romantic when he wants to--

My favorite thing about this is everybody being extremely protective of Buggy. She deserves it. She's a queen. An icon. And everybody is in love with her. And Rayleigh is soooo father and I adore him,, He'd go there solely to see his girl.

And never forget Zoro and Luffy bonding over this, but the funniest part of all is how I am 100% sure that after transitioning Buggy is wayyy hotter and way more confident and Sanji would be head over heels for her like everybody else. So yeah, he laughs all he wants but he wishes he could pull Buggy like that-

And I hope you slept well!!! Mwah mwah mwah!!! Loved to see you here again sweetie 💖💖💖💖💖

[jasy0urs]

Asmodeus Imagine 💕💗

"Hypocritical"

A/N: hi again, it's been a while since I last posted, but anyway here's another one. This time, it's an Obey Me! post for Asmodeus. I'll be posting another one soon for Belphegor, but in a narrative style instead of something bulleted. Asmo may be slightly OOC in this depending on how you view his character. I hope you enjoy!

Slight angst || MC (You) is not a minor || Tw: parties, implied alcohol, implied cheating but not really

• You weren't that fond of parties. Like Belphie, you'd rather not get tired, and social interaction quickly sucks the life out of you.

• For some reason, during your stay throughout devildom, you've been particularly close with Asmo.

• He always seemed to make an appearance after classes, offering to walk you home despite Mammon's protests.

• You found out that you liked his energy. It's as if he's that one baddie best friend you never had back in the human world.

• By growing closer together, you also learned alot about one another. How he has an intellectual eye for the arts despite his nature, and how he's not afraid to help bring out the best in you, whether it'd be through regular makeovers or simply encouraging you to get out of your shell.

• You also happened to share the same taste in music as him — well, most of it. You could share to him the latest pop and rap hits from your world and he'd be dancing alongside you.

• Even though you have low self-esteem, Asmo was there to assure you of your worth.

• "What do you mean 'ugly'?" He asked, flabbergasted by your comment. "Darling, you clearly haven't taken a look at the mirror. You are simply adorable!"

• "Cute seems to be a nicer way of saying just average," you muttered, not intending for him to hear, yet he did so. When you looked up, you were surprised to find him with an angry expression.

• "Asmo?"

• "When I tell you you're beautiful, you're supposed to say 'I know!'" He scolded, not hesitating to grab your shoulders and pull you closer. You attempted to get away, but he managed to keep you in place. "Whatever angles you're convinced you look ugly in, I see them as beautiful." His voice was so soft when he said it that it made you feel guilty for having such low confidence in yourself.

• "I'll try to... see myself in a better light."

• You two often have heartfelt moments like these that, honestly, are sometimes suffocating. You were glad to have a friend as close to you as Asmo is, but you were afraid of the implications that brought.

• Was he viewing you in a romantic light, or just as a friend? If it was the latter, it was too close of a friend, you mused.

• Despite your mental debates, you accepted his invitation to go out to a club and party with his friends. You were quite curious about them. Plus, this could be the chance to possibly meet someone.

• He offered to put makeup on you. You accepted it. He secretly bought a dress for you, even! You were shocked and offered to pay him back, yet he was having none of it.

• "Once my eyes landed on this dress, I knew I had to get it for you! You would look absolutely sexy in it!"

• Cue panic at not meeting his expectations. Just smile through the pain, you guessed.

• The moment you two stepped foot into the club, you were swarmed by demons in all directions, most of them drunk. You watched helplessly as Asmo was dragged off to who knows where by his "friends", laughing all the way.

• You silently cursed him for leaving you behind, but you won't let that stop you from having fun.

• You decided to sit on a couch in the corner, away from most of the bodies that attempted to grind you. You didn't want to make a fool out of yourself, so you avoided the dance floor. You wanted to get a drink, though. Too bad your anxiety was preventing you.

• "So you're Asmo's human friend, huh?" A deep voice startled you out of your thoughts.

• You looked up to see a handsome face in a suit. He had crystal clear sunkissed skin and a friendly grin, though his eyes were a bit slanted, causing him to gain a sharp look.

• You flushed at the sight of him, not all that familiar being around beautiful figures. You nodded as a response, though.

• He slid into the couch with you, knees touching yours discretely. You blushed even further at the contact.

• He turned out to be nice. He was in a few classes with Asmo and, as a frequent club goer, has met him through the same means. Even though he spends most of his nights out partying, he still hasn't failed any of his classes. He simply enjoyed the night scene of Devildom more than most folk.

• He winked at you and you scoffed, a playful smile on your face. "You're better academically than Mammon."

• "Wait, really?" His jaw dropped. "I'm more responsible than one of the 7 princes?"

• You two laughed at each other's stories and interests. Overall, it was a really enjoyable experience, and you were mentally thanking Asmo for the invite.

• You didn't know when it happened, but the atmosphere started to turn flirty. You didn't mind. On the contrary, you welcomed the sudden shift, finally able to bust out the cheesy pick up lines you've made over the years. He easily laughed at all of the ones you threw at him, also replying in equally cheesy ones.

• Woah, when did your faces get this close?

• You were nervous and excited at the prospect of finally getting your first kiss. You weren't really a romantic, so a quick and lighthearted first kiss would have been perfect for you.

• When your lips touched, you felt relief. You had fun with him, he seemed interested in you, you tested out the waters, and it ended with a kiss. A nice way to end the evening, if someone was to ask you.

• The kiss turned heated and you were pulled into their lap. You were surprised, but after realizing that he wasn't touching you inappropriately anywhere else, you settled down and kissed him with equal fervor. Your hands wound up in his hair.

• Even though the kiss continued passionately, your energies started to die down, and you two were only kissing lazily. His arm was above your bottom with a thumb stroking your waist.

• It was nice to be kissed, you discovered.

• After a few more minutes of lazy intertwining of tongues, you felt glass shatter behind you and you were roughly pulled off his lap.

• At first you thought: 'Uh oh. He didn't tell me he had a lover.' Before you were turned around forcefully and was met by a furious Asmo. You blinked at him before smiling.

• "Oh, you found me."

• You were forcefully dragged out of the club, leaving behind a new and confused friend. You were stumbling at how fast he was walking. Since you were wearing heels, the speed wasn't that convenient.

• "Wait, Asmo, stop!" You panted, "What's wrong?"

• At that question, he finally stopped. His hand released yours. When you finally got your bearings, you noticed that you were already in front of the House of Lamentation. How fast were you two even walking— no, running?

• "'What's wrong'?" He repeated in a confounded voice. "Are you serious?"

• You were just as confused as he was.

• "Yeah, you suddenly dragged me outside and walked me all the way home. It's still early, right?" You looked around and noted that the night was still young given by the number of demons still milling about on the streets. "You're usually out 'til early morning."

• "You seriously don't know what's wrong?" He turned to look at you with an expression so hurt you didn't know where to begin. You decided to stay quiet.

• He mumbled your name as he fully turned to you. His arms wrapped around himself; he never looked so small until that moment.

• "You were... kissing another demon."

• Cue confusion.

• "Yes, I was? I thought... I thought the whole point was to meet new people."

• His eyes widened at that. You were right, after all. He did invite you out so you could finally get a taste of what Devildom was really like. Instead of you two getting closer that night, you had a taste of something else entirely. Something that he was hypocritical of envying.

• "You..." He started.

• "You could have gotten hurt, or worse!" Excuses, excuses. When will you stop this, Asmodeus?

• You huffed and crossed your arms over your chest.

• "He said he was your friend. He was nice! He even said that he didn't care I was a human. Besides, he told me that no demons were looking to eat me anymore, not with you around as a bodyguard. Anyway, we kissed because I thought I could. That's it."

• Of course Asmodeus knew that. That demon was nice. He was even willing to lend him notes without getting any favors in return. Because he was just that fucking nice. And yet, his stomach churned with acid as he relived the same scene again.

• You, his... his human, with someone else's tongue down your fucking throat as you were held on their lap. Almost lovingly. Like you two had a bout of love at first sight. What a fucking joke.

• He hated it.

• You were getting more concerned by the minute. He was motionless for so long.

• "Asmo—"

• "Am I not good enough for you?" He finally croaked out. His eyes found yours and you flinched at the storm behind them.

• "I've tried so hard to get an ounce of affection back from you, and I still haven't got it. But that... that demon gets to take it a step further? And you allowed it?"

• It clicked. "Wait—"

• "Guess we're more similar than I thought."

• "Asmo, listen. I was just... experimenting—"

• "But why with him? I'm already here. Why can't you see that?"

• "It's not like that! I thought you weren't interested at all. Besides, you're the Avatar of Lust. Hell, you could get anyone you want! So why are you so angry that I—"

• "Because I don't want anyone else!" He shouted. "It stopped being 'everyone else' for me, and it started just being 'you'."

• You were rendered speechless by the sudden confession. Suddenly, everything made sense. You were just too dense to see it.

• "Oh... Oh no, Asmo. I—"

• "I knew I should've worked harder. Was I just not appealing enough? I can change my routine and make a new one, if that would even make a fucking difference. Was my outfit too ugly?" He started spiralling real fast.

• You slapped both of your hands on his face, uncaring if he berates you afterwards for it.

• "Asmo, let me finish!"

• He sniffed as telltale signs of a few tears shined in his eyes. You sighed.

• "Asmo... I swear that kiss wasn't even serious. I thought you'd understand that."

• Was that really the truth? Did you mean it? His thoughts betrayed his own heart.

• 'Then why did you look like you were having the time of your life?' He thought, 'You two looked like a pair of star-crossed lovers in that moment.'

• His sin may be Lust, but he sure as hell would become Envy after watching that distasteful scene.

• You looked so... hungry. He just wished that hunger turned to him, for once.

• "... Asmo, you're not listening." You sighed in frustration at the circumstances you both found yourselves in. In front of your own home, no less.

• Without any other warning, his tears fell on their own. So much for him trying to keep them at bay just because he didn't want to humiliate himself in front of you nor to wake up with bloodshot eyes later.

• Taken aback, you frantically wiped his tears away, cooing and shushing him the entire time.

• It was the first time you've seen someone this beautiful crying.

• "Calm down, okay?" You assured him. "Do you want to go inside and talk in your room?"

• He didn't want to, but at the same time, he knew he needed to hear the whole truth, and to say his own, as well.

• He only nodded, and the both of you made your way inside. Luckily, you brought a jacket just in case it was cold out and/or you felt uncomfortable just being in a dress, so you covered him with it. He would never admit it, but being surrounded by your scent calmed him instantly.

• The two of you rushed to his room without talking to the brothers you've encountered. Thankfully, they didn't pry due to the glare you gave them.

• 'Scary,' Mammon thought as he shuddered, frozen in place after you gave him a death stare.

• Once in the comfort of his room, you sat him down on his bed while you sat next to him. For a while, only silence was exchanged.

• "... I didn't think I would ever get hurt by this," Asmo began. "Especially since this isn't the first time it happened."

• You were startled at this information. "Not your first time? You witnessed other people do this to you too?"

• He shrugged.

• "With them, I wasn't even hurt a bit. In fact, I might have even encouraged them? It's just, I didn't feel anything... Not until you."

• "Oh..."

• "And I may have even done the same thing myself with a few partners before. I would kiss, make out, whatever with other demons, and they wouldn't mind one bit. In turn, I didn't mind, either. Yet why is it, that when it comes to you, I can't handle it?"

• "... Because you're actually serious about me," You finally realized, rubbing a hand down your face as you sighed. Your heart hurts knowing you betrayed him.

• "I'm... so sorry."

• He smiled bitterly at your apology because he knew he didn't really deserve it, not when he's the biggest hypocrite at that moment.

• "And don't even say 'it's okay', because it's not, Asmo," You scolded him before he could even reply. "I was just dense to everything, I guess. I really thought I just amused you, like... your personal makeup doll or something."

• "What? I would never think of you like that–!"

• "I'll admit, I'm not the type to get crushed on easily, so I wouldn't know about someone's romantic intentions towards me unless they actually say it to my face. What happened earlier... I thought I was finally able to 'graduate' from that, I guess you could say? Like, I can finally do something romantic with someone nice, but at the same time, know that commitment isn't needed because I doubt we'd ever see each other again after tonight."

• Asmo was silent.

• "I didn't know that, in the process, I'd hurt someone precious to me, too."

• His ears perked at that. Him? Precious..?

• You made him feel like a priceless gem whenever you're both together. As if he's regained his purity. To think that you felt the same way...

• "I hate this," Asmo suddenly stated, standing up from the bed. "I hate this so much."

• To think that he would ever love someone else more than himself.

• You, afraid that you might have said something wrong, was about to stand up yourself and clarify things, before you were pushed by him to sit back down.

• He glares at you. You gulp.

• Despite his aggressiveness, the way he called out your name was soft as a feather.

• "Do you like me?" He asked point blank. You blinked.

• Then your face turned bright red.

• Did you? You didn't know yourself, but with the current tension and the scrutiny under his intense eyes, you were compelled to say yes.

• So, you did.

• Your lips were then captured by his in the sweetest kiss you've experienced.

• While your friend from earlier tasted like nothing at all, Asmo tasted like a bakery.

• Confectionary of all kinds danced on your tongue to the point of getting a toothache. His tongue swiped at the roof of your mouth, and you shivered at the sensation.

• You thought your first kiss was 'fine'? Well, this time it felt like you were getting a whole michelin star meal.

• You squeezed his shoulders. "Wait–" But he didn't.

• It was as if he wanted to replace the memories of your first kiss with the one he was giving you.

• "Gotta remove... his traces..." He mumbled, pushing you down on his bed and climbing on top of you. "He didn't deserve this... Truly, he didn't." He kept muttering to himself.

• You were at his mercy, notable by the way your drool mixed with his dripped down your chin and your body quivering under his.

• However, you pushed him away forcefully after losing all the air in your lungs, inhaling right after.

• He blinked, the haze of lust disappearing from his eyes and snapping him back to reality.

• Immediately, he fussed over you.

• "I'm so sorry, darling, I didn't know what came over me. I just— I tasted you for the first time and it felt like euphoria that I've never experienced before. Plus, the fact that you said you liked me, I simply couldn't resist!"

• As you panted on his bed and watched him frantically explain himself, you grinned lazily.

• "You're back, Asmo."

• He stopped what he was doing, uncharacteristically blushing.

• He smiled back.

• "I was always here, darling."

• Guess you were both just stupid with your feelings.

[khaopybara]

10 QL Characters I Desire Carnally

@firstkanaphans and @sandrayy tagged me, thank you for this, i needed it. it was highly entertaining.

1. Khaotung Thanawat as Ray Pakorn [ONLY FRIENDS] (to no one's surprise. he was a drunk and drug addict, but this boy was fine af, 10/10, no regrets. i don't blame sand, i would also let him turn my life upside down)

2. Namtan Tipnaree as Porjai [LAST TWILIGHT] (i mean....)

3. Song Jioh as Choi Yuna [SEMANTIC ERROR] (she's actually my girlfriend)

4. First Kanaphan as Alan Anantachai [MOONLIGHT CHICKEN] (i thought it would be way too hypocritical of me if i didn't put a first character in this list simply bc i'm in love with this man. also, i hope he gets more roles where he's older bc it adds that little something, it's great)

5. Sarocha Burin as Kat [THE WARP EFFECT] (the warp effect was one of the first five thai shows i've watched. she changed my life)

6. Jimmy Jitaraphol as Mhok [LAST TWILIGHT] (he's perfect. the greenest flag. the role model. the man every man and woman desire. he cares, he loves, and he beats the ass of those who make you upset)

8. Papang Phromphiriya as Dan [ONLY FRIENDS] (he was there for 3 episodes and was an absolute hottie. his kisses with nick were breathtakingly delicious, i have no notes)

9. Freen Sarocha as Samanan Anantrakul [GAP] (did i watch gap yet? no. but i've seen enough clips of this show to know that i'm love with this woman)

10. Fah Yongwaree as Jean [THE WARP EFFECT] (i would do literally anything she asked me to do, i'm not kidding)

I also have to make an honorable mention here to add Piploy Kanyarat as May in Wednesday Club. Listen to me, I need Piploy in a GL next year. I'm on my knees begging. Please.

and also, Janhae as Nim and Joong Archen as Tony in The Warp Effect. I just thought that you know, we already have two The Warp Effect characters in this list, 4 is a little bit too much.

i think most of my moots, if not all, have done this thread already, but feel free to do it and tag me if that's of your interest. i would love to see it.

[sansaorgana]

This is a formal cease and desist - I am not getting anything daydreaming about modern!hotd and you are starting to make me like tolerate Aegon (when it comes to Aemond I am already lost cause)

2. (Because I am a hypocrite): Imagine getting a little too fun drunk with Helaena at a club and thinking it is a fantastic idea to send voicemails/videos from the bathroom at the club to her sibling group chat and having them roll up 15 minutes later with vastly different intentions xx

1. darling, it's impossible not to fancy Aegon after this scene:

even my mum agrees with me!!! 🤣

2. tbh I can't imagine Helaena getting drunk for some reason but I get it that it's needed for the plot here 😏 girls would be having fun and thinking they're annoying the boys with all those videos, meanwhile Helaena's brothers can't stop thinking about her friend. Aegon would want to go there and join the party because you're so kissable when you're mumbling and drunk. Aemond would be driven by the urge to protect you from all the dangers when you're so vulnerable (including his brother who is already on the way to the club xd)

[thebarefootking]

Ren Narita

I have complicated feelings about Ren Narita that have very little at all to do with Ren Narita. Which may not necessarily make for a satisfying answer -- as I know he's your dude -- but allow me to try. I was initially excited for Narita's return from excursion. I don't remember whether or not I got to see him as a young lion (and if I did, it wasn't for very long at all), but Shibata had enough of my respect that I figured any protege of his would at least be good to have around. Initially, I was interested in the contrast of how Umino and Narita use the influence of their mentors in creating an image for themselves. As foils for one another, they were engaging as character studies. However, individually, they did little for me -- Umino even less than Narita. When Narita joined up with Suzuki and El Desperado, I was tentatively optimistic. Suzuki is an impeccable mentor for someone of Narita's description to have. And El Desperado excels at helping others develop their characters and add movement to their stories. It's one of his most impressive skills. And it got a workout last year. But not with Narita.

Were there occasional moments that utilised Suzuki and Despe as characters in interaction with Narita? I won't lie and say no. More Suzuki than Despe, I think. But mostly and for what seemed like weeks and months at a time, they functioned as bodies to fill out Narita's party. How many times did we watch them enter to Narita's music? Minoru 'Kaze Ni Nare' Suzuki entering to the music of some bloke who just showed up? How many promos did Despe stand behind and to the left of Narita, having physically shrunk himself to avoid pulling the spotlight away? And I don't just mean he reined in his personality and mannerisms -- though that was very much the case. He literally, physically made himself appear smaller until it was his turn to speak. Their policy with Narita was so hands-off that I wonder what it was meant to achieve at all. And I admit that it did not take long for me to begin resenting him for it. More than just about anyone on the roster who isn't just, y'know, a scummy person irl -- every time I saw him, I just thought, Ugh. That guy.

I sort of checked out of what Narita and Umino were doing pretty much entirely, for a while -- which is a shame, because I really did find them engaging, at one point. There was just so little to Narita that was identifiably Narita -- and everything to Umino that was identifiably Umino was honestly kind of annoying. And I was so sick during WTL that I missed most of what went on then.

But it was impossible to miss the news of Narita betraying Umino and joining Bullet Club. And it was comforting to my self-image that my first thought was that it was good for Narita. That I didn't hate him so much for something he had no control over that my first impulse was to celebrate Suzuki and Despe being rid of him. That was just my second impulse. But it has been good for Narita. I admit I don't really grasp the full scope of HoT!Ren, but it's a right sight better than he was doing for himself before. I look at him, and I know what character I'm looking at. The cloak is a menace, admittedly. It looks like he had a heel turn, and while HoT went home to get drunk and celebrate, one of them found it in a closet somewhere. I was certain, at least, that it would be temporary -- just for a show or two, or at least replaced for Wrestle Kingdom. El Desperado, after the betrayal, accused Narita of lacking the courage of his convictions. (I could say a lot about the narrative parallels between a younger Despe and the current Ren, and how Despe is a wretched hypocrite, but that's a bit beyond what I hope to portray here.) I'm an unapologetic fanmoose, so I initially nodded along. But what were Narita's convictions? I can see a lot more of them now than I did before. And when I watched him walk out at Wrestle Kingdom, still wrapped up in that goddamn cloak, it hit me.

That doesn't look like a man who lacks the courage of his convictions.

I am eager to see what he does about it.

[its-a-queer-thing]

Great questions about the tropes event!

Got two very important asks over night so thought I'd answer those here along with the event info.

Can you finish the fics late if you can't by the end of Nov./mid-Dec.?

Yes. I am notorious for posting WIPs for events so I'm definitely not going to be the hypocrite here and say no haha. Try to get as much done as you can for the spirit of the event, but you're not going to get a disapproving wag of your finger from me if you can only post a couple of chapters at a time.

2. What kind of tropes are on the list?

7 mins in heaven

ABO

Amnesia au

Angel/demon au

Angst with happy ending

Angst with tragic ending

Arranged marriage

Assassin au

Based on a painting

Bdsm au

Bodyguard au

Body swap au

Book club au

Bounty hunter

Canon compliant

Canon divergent

CEO au

Childhood friends to lovers

Circus au

Coffee shop au

Crack fic

Doctor au

Dorm mates au

Drunk au

Dystopian au

Enemies to lovers

Established relationship

Fairytale au

Fake relationship

Fluff

Forced Quarantine

Friends to lovers

Ghost au

Greek au

Hero x Villain

Historical au

Horror au

Hospital au

Huddle for warmth

Hurt/comfort

Ice skating au

Internet friends au

Jock/nerd

Lawyer x client au

Love at first sight

Love at second sight

Love triangle

Mermaid au

Miscommunication

Mutual pining

Mythology au

New student/coworker au

No umbrella

Old!Gallavich

One bed trope

Party au

Pirate au

Post Apocalyptic

Profesor x Profesor au

Rainy day au

Rivals

Robbery au

Role reversal

Roommates

Royalty au

Secret royalty

Slow burn

Song fic

Soulmate -- seeing colors AU

Soulmate au

Spin the bottle

Tattoo shop au

Timeloop au

Tutor au

Unrequited love

Vampire au

Feel free to comment or send asks/messages if there's a trope you like that isn't here that you may want added.

2.5. Can I request in my sign-up email to not get a certain trope?

Yes... Within reason. Someone used the example ABO, and the natural next one that came to mind for me was BDSM; that's fair that those might make you uncomfortable to work with and that's perfectly fine. But if you request not to be assigned fluff or slow burn simply because you don't like it... that would kinda defeat the spirit of the challenge!

I love that people seem excited so far, so I hope to get a really solid turnout!

[llycaons]

ep36 (2/2): the juniors are running a comedy club out here

cue me muttering 'who the fuck is the poison sage?' and googling it and not getting anywhere and then listening to it again and hearing 'sandu senshou' and going 'oohhhh it's jc', why is he dressed in pink

HELP all the kids saying they hate jc lmao

AND WWX LOVES IT

oh this is so endearing. he's so rarely off-kilter and hesitant like this. so much different from his stiff noncommunication from previous episodes

here too, he's so unsure and concerned. showing some feeling! I love it

it's so nice that wwx accommodates his autistic boy best friend by clarifying when he's joking and when he's not

oh, it goes both ways huh

this is such a creepy opening to this arc. most definitely cursed, this city

in this scene in the book, wwx buys makeup from some girls. it makes me a little sad how tough-guy he still is even postres. get in tough with your more feminine side, beloved

the animals are FIGHTINGGGG actually tho this is really sad

nooo little apple!! it's so cute how wwx loves her so much. in the donghua he opened his arms for a hug and yelled "I missed you so much!!!" they're so cute. AUs where wwx never died will never have little apple and that's a shame

THAT HYPOCRITE. 'ohhh don't use jgy to scare me. I'll use lwj to scare YOU' WHICH IS SUCH A LIE god he's so funnyth

realistic teenage dialogue in all honesty. I'm laughing so hard

smash cut to lwj being like 'christ these kids never shut up time to use my magic spells to unethically force them to stop fucking arguing' yet another example of wwx being a big ol hypocrite because he loves when the kids get silenced he thinks it's funny

lwj just loves descending dramatically from the sky. his favorite hobby

wtffff did he just vanish them????

SAID AT FULL VOLUME in front of like 20 kids who know exactly who used the yin iron last. god. I can't believe nobody said anything. lwj spoke way quieter than that

ooh! spooky

he goes full toddler teacher here it is so funny

LEGENDARY WWX LINES

neat shot here

when they're like 'why isn't the door closing?' and wwx is like ' listen we're getting in here one way or another'

and finishing this off with yet another forgotten classic by our favorite necromancer. 'yeah I was just wearing it because it looked so cool. no other reason'

personal highlights:

wwx's little 'aww, he hasn't changed at all'

lwj being all dopey and honest when drunk and almost making wwx cry and then being all unsure/vulnerable the next morning 🥺

the little fake moustache on the kid acting as nmj

the fact that all the kids hate jc???? or they know that everyone else hates him??? that's so funny

the comedy of the kids arguiing over animal names

wwx threatening jl with a LIE and being a hypocrite

the lie about the mask

[tellthemeerkatsitsfine]

I’d been thinking anyway of writing a post about why I’d never be drunk at a comedy show, and then it happened yesterday. What I was going to write is that I often hear comedians complain about drunk people in their audience, and I just don’t understand that at all. I’ve seen a few live comedy shows this year, and I haven’t had a single drink. At the James Acaster show, my dad asked if I wanted to get a drink, I said no because 1) the show is called Hecklers Welcome and its premise is supposed to be that he’s changed his ways and will stop being a dick to audience members, but I don’t fully trust that and I’ve read the stories about what he does to anyone in an audience who looks at him wrong, so I don’t want to have to get up to pee during the show, 2) having a drink would require removing my mask in that room full of people, and 3) I don’t drink at comedy shows because I don’t want to miss any of the experience.

I like alcohol, mainly because I don’t like reality and alcohol makes reality go away for a bit, so I don’t want to have alcohol during the few times when reality is temporarily awesome. Why would I want to take myself out of reality when I’m getting a great experience like seeing a comedy show? Alcohol makes things harder to follow, means you might miss a detail, and unless you have the guts to try secretly recording it (which I don’t, but especially at the moment I have to say I appreciate people who do), you don’t get a second chance to catch everything.

I don’t even watch an episode of a TV show, or a movie, or anything like that for the first time when I’m drunk. If I’m seeing or hearing something for the first time, I want to be focused so I actually follow what’s going on. If I watch something and like it enough, I’ll re-watch it when I’m drunk. Or sometimes I’ll watch something and think “this is objectively bad and I’m not enjoying it, but it’ll be fun to re-watch while drunk”. I’ll do that with trash TV shows and things, but not with live comedy. If a comedian is only funny while you’re drunk, it’s not worth going to see them. Just stay home and watch trash TV.

Comedians who complain about drunk audience members do normally say that it’s better on a tour show than on a club night, since audiences who are specifically there to see them will be more likely to be focused. And I see how that makes sense, but still, if you want to just drink all night then don’t go to a comedy club. If you don’t want to properly take in the comedy, just stay home. There are so many other things to do while drinking, why would you go to a place where it’s impolite to be drunk and you’re not supposed to talk?

That’s a post I’d been vaguely considering writing for a few days, but I can’t write it anymore, because it would make me a hypocrite. Yesterday, I learned some fucking horrifying things, had a terrible day, drank whiskey about it, and then my best friend convinced me to do that with him instead of drinking alone in my bedroom about it. Which was a good call. It was, genuinely, healthier to sit with him at a pub and talk about how everything in the world is terrible than to just sit at home and think about it by myself.

Also, we got to play all the familiar games! The games we play every time we learn about a new sexual predator in our shared community! Like what Ben Cafferty from Veep calls “play[ing] Who Knew What When”, so we can work out which of our mutual acquaintances continued to be friendly with this guy after they first found out, and then we can further whittle down the dwindling pool of people in the world we don’t hate! Games like List All The Signs We Ignored. Games like Hey, Remember That Time We Were Nice To Him In This Specific Way? Looks like we were being nice to a terrible person again, a risk we always take whenever we are nice to anyone, and every time we’re reminded of that we start going through the world a little more cynically! What would a New Sexual Predator Reveal be without a round of all those games at the pub? You have to play the games. I have played those games so many fucking times over so many years, but it had been a while this time. Also, interesting twist on this one that we were playing it with a guy who recently died. So that’s fine.

Anyway, we sat around and played those games and got quite drunk. Then, for reasons I still do not understand, he suggested I go with him to the comedy club next door. He and I have spent a bunch of time in that club over the years because my brother used to perform there a lot and we’d go see him, but I haven’t been there since probably a couple of years before COVID even started. I asked him why the hell we’d want to go to a comedy club on this night, and he said it’s something to do. I told him I was already drunker than I’d like to be during a comedy show, and he said you’re supposed to be drunk at a comedy club. I said no you’re not, and he said, “Come on, who could complain about being drunk at a comedy club?” And I said, “The comedians.”

My friend asked me why this was a problem, and I said because drunk people will be disruptive and heckle. He pointed out that, given my personality, there’s not enough alcohol in the world to make me heckle a comedy show, and I had to admit he was right. At that Heckler’s Welcome show, James Acaster repeatedly asked the audience to yell out anything they wanted, and I sat there thinking, “Come on, just ask him where he gets his iPod Classics,” but couldn’t bring myself to do it.

So we went to the comedy club. I did not heckle or disrupt anything. I also did not laugh much, though a few of them got me a bit. Looking back, I don’t know how much was that the comedians weren’t great and how much was that I was not in the mood to laugh. Really, of all the things affecting me last night, the alcohol was not what made me a bad comedy audience member. It was more the crushing weight of recent reminders of how close we always are to horrors in the world – that made it hard for me to laugh at a story about buying a vibrator, and I’m sure that annoys comedians a lot more than some alcohol.

It's not that I’ve never had alcohol at a comedy club before – I guess I do see what comedians mean by tour shows being better than club shows that way, because at tour shows I have a strict “no alcohol at all” rule, while at comedy club nights I’ve gone to in previous years, I’ve usually had a few beers. But only a few. If I plan to get drunk that night, I’ll have a couple during the show and then get drunk after – I don’t start drinking before. Last night was the first time I’ve ever been properly drunk during a comedy show, so I guess I now can’t write a post about how no one should be drunk at a comedy show, because that would make me a hypocrite.

I’ve definitely been drunk after comedy shows before, though. I can now add last night to my list of memories of comedy club nights when the world felt like a terrible place. Like that time six years ago, when that same best friend and I learned my brother was performing on the 8th, and we decided to get tickets so we could spend that night in a comedy club where no phones were allowed. We could just opt out of spending the whole night constantly watching the news and checking for updates. Just go into the club at the beginning of the night, and by the time the show ends around 11 PM, it will be over and the results will be in. We can go to the bar upstairs and have some drinks to celebrate the election of the first female President of the United States.

Yeah, that one didn’t work out. At 11 PM on November 8th, 2016, my best friend, my brother, and I were sitting in the bar above a comedy club, staring bleakly at the screens that were showing American election results like it was a sports game. Ordering lots of whiskey because we had politely not gotten drunk during the show, so we had some catching up to do. I told my brother I hoped he’d enjoyed doing his set that night, because no one was going to feel like laughing ever again. So I last night is actually not the most depressing night I’ve ever spent in a comedy club. But it’s in second place.

I feel like I should have an end to this story or something, but I don’t. That’s my story. Went to a local comedy club last night, for the first time in several years. Didn’t much enjoy it, but that’s probably not the comedians’ fault.

[casspurrjoybell-20]

FOOLS IN LOVE - Chapter 11 - Part 1

BOOK THREE: 'Fools Fall in Love' Trilogy

*Warning - Adult Content*

Samuel Moretti

I couldn't stop thinking about Noah and Wesley.

Specifically the timeframe for when they started, being friendly with each other?

I didn't know what they were to each other but part of me knew it was more than coworkers.

I mean, why was Wesley going to Noah's apartment that late for?

One obvious reason, sex.

So the question was, when did that start?

For all I knew, Noah could've lied to me nine months ago when he told me Wesley had only kissed Noah on the cheek at some gay club.

What if they did more?

At first that thought made me feel a little queasy because Noah was a good liar but I didn't think he'd lie to me about something like that.

Then I started thinking, if Noah did do more than he said with Wesley that night, then he had no reason to be upset at Carter and I.

That's when my nauseousness turned to anger.

Angry thinking about how hypocritical Noah was.

"Yo. Are you okay? You're sandwich is falling apart," Kai brought me back to reality.

The reality of me eating lunch with Kai only because he was too nice to turn down.

So, we ended up at a small sub-shop that was walking distance from our building.

I looked at the sandwich in my hand and the bread was caved in from my strong grip.

Sighing, I placed my food down on my plate and asked...

"Do you remember that guy I told you about who Noah basically cheated on me with while he was drunk at a bar?"

Kai nodded.

I had given Kai the rundown of my past year the other night. I also got his life story rundown and basically him and his girlfriend have been in-separable ever since elementary school.

"I saw him yesterday when I went to go drop off Noah's stupid container. He was going into Noah's apartment 'with' Noah, while I stood there like an idiot."

"Oh yeah. That's awkward but hey, they could just be friends," he offered innocently.

I gave Kai a pointed 'we both know that's a lie' look and I said...

"It was past eleven, so there is no way he was over just to watch movies with Noah."

"Hmm. Well... I mean... does it matter to you?" he asked genuinely.

"It's the principal of the matter. I don't care who Noah dates but just... why Wesley?"

I groaned because I knew how that sounded, like I was jealous.

"You have Benjamin," Kai pointed out, with with a kind smile.

"I know..." the stupid pool of guilt filled up in my stomach again.

I knew I shouldn't be caring so much and I hated that I was so fixated on Noah's love life when I had my own and I liked mine, a lot so, why was I so concerned with my ex-boyfriend?

"I like Benjamin..." Kai began, bringing me back but then added...

"Sort of...."

"Sort of...?" I perked up.

"What do you mean sort of?"

Kai had met Benjamin only three times, there was no way he'd made conclusions about my boyfriend already.

"Well... he's good to you but... he's a bit controlling... and also a bit misogynistic at times," Kai spoke casually as if that wasn't news to me, it was.

'What the heck?'

"What? Misogynistic? How?"

"Yeah. Like... you weren't in the room. You were in the bathroom... I think... and we were talking about our jobs and Benjamin said... he was pissed some woman he works with... was making more money than him... when he was a man."

My jaw was agape when Kai told me that.

"Benjamin said that?"

Kai nodded while taking a sip of his soda.

"He thinks that men need to make more money than women?"

Kai shrugged.

"From what he said? Yeah."

Benjamin Hernandez.

My Benjamin, who's sweet and kind to every single human we've come across, doesn't believe in equal pay for woman?

There had to be an explanation for that.

Maybe it was a miscommunication between Kai and Benjamin?

Then I remembered what else Kai mentioned.

"You said you thought Benjamin was controlling?" I questioned nervously.

"Yeah..." he started sheepishly like he felt bad that he had to tell me Benjamin had major red flags.

"There has been a few incidents, where he told you what to do or what not to do but..." Kai shrugged.

"Nothing over major, I guess."

"Hmm," is all I responded with but my gut felt mushy and acidic like I needed to throw up and then I thought about when Benjamin told me not to speak to Noah again.

'Oh jeez'.

"I'm sorry," I looked back up at Kai when he apologized.

"I just thought you knew but I suppose it's easier to see flaws from an outsider point of view but hey, I only met him a few times, maybe I read the situation wrong," he offered for my sake and then, like a dog seeing a squirrel, Kai glanced over my shoulder, perked up and said...

"Oh. A lesbian couple. I'm going to go and see if they'll let me do a quick photo shoot. Stay here," and he stepped out of his booth with a big, excited smile as he walked up to the two girls who I've definitely seen walking around campus.

Sitting alone in the booth, I thought back to different moments with Benjamin.

Maybe there were some controlling but I thought it was unknowingly.

Like maybe I just had to talk to him about it and he'd realize.

The misogynistic part?

I had no clue and I couldn't recall a moment where he said something sexist to me, so maybe Benjamin didn't mean to say it like Kai had said.

I wondered if all my relationships were like that, controlling with noticeable red flags.

Noah wasn't controlling but he had flaws like his anger issues but everyone had flaws.

His anger wasn't necessarily a red flag because Noah did try to maintain his anger, it was just hard for him and it wasn't like he got physical with me when he was angry but it was still a flaw but he did lie a lot.

Lying was Noah's red flag.

Being sexist might be Benjamin's red flag.

I really hoped it wasn't.

[arsenalgbt]

In my stripper au, willo is the groom but he's slept with Ben and is now a bit of a mess about the fact as he hides the fact he's regularly visiting the club and paying for the company of a stripper that he's falling for. Ben knows Willo's wedding is coming up and hates how little he regrets sleeping with Willo whose private dances don't include much dancing and instead are more like dates as the two of them get to know each other better. Ben tried to resist this at the start, one of Jorginho's rules was don't fall for people who visit the club or people who work there (but Jorginho is in love with Reiss so he's a hypocrit and therefore Ben doesn't have to listen to him). It was only after drunk Willo tried to kiss him after coming to the club after a fight with katherine and asked if he'd have to pay more when Ben pulled away that Ben realised how messy things were. That's why he sent Fabio to dance, it's why he is a little annoyed and hot headed when dancing for kieran who seems to show more interest than usual in that side of Ben, its why Ben knows this fantasy he had about Willo and him being together needs to end. This au needs to leave my brain. I have a revenge fic to finish and the next chapter of the uni au. I am not adding a stripper au to the list.

-💙🤍 kt anon who is 100% lying about the fact the stripper au won't be added to the list

HAWLY SHIT WILLO CHEATING ON MY ANGEL KATHRINE...............................

this specifically ended me;

It was only after drunk Willo tried to kiss him after coming to the club after a fight with katherine and asked if he'd have to pay more

rich idiot depo baby era willo who says yes!!!!!!

nahhh revenge fic first pls n thx!

[kokoch4n3l]

DEAD GIRL’S BEACH࿐ྂ KUROKAWA IZANA x f!oc x SANO MANJIRO

FOUR — drunk walk home

"I think he misses his childhood. He doesn't talk about it but he looks like he misses it. He says he used to have a sister. He says she's dead. I wonder what happened to her"— MAYA'S ROUGH NOTES ON K.I

chapter summary: Amidst the emotional turmoil of guilt due to her job and Izana's treatment, Maya is left to grapple with the harsh reality of unreciprocated love after spending the night at Kazutora and Chifuyu's place.

chapter warnings: alcohol use, intoxication, insensitive comments, (badly written)sexual content, (kinda consensual)drunk sex, penis-in-vagina sex, implied multiple rounds, loss of virginity

word count: 4049

moodboard | masterlist | previous | chapter 5

"I saw my doctor the other day for a check-up. He said to cut down on drinking and when I asked him what he was doing after work, he told me he was going clubbing" Kazutora says with a laugh

"Doctors are the world's biggest hypocrites," Maya says, gulping down wine from the glass that was too full than appropriate "I mean c'mon look at me" 

It was Sunday night and she was spending the night at Chifuyu and Kazutora's apartment. Who said 20-something-year-olds can't have sleepovers? Maya had been drinking all weekend to forget about the mind-consuming guilt she was experiencing. The option was a very obvious one: report the director for abuse of authority, purposely drugging a patient and, not giving the care they needed. It wasn't even negligence but on fucking purpose. Maya knows she should. She really should but she's afraid. Maya has heard many similar cases and they all end with the person reporting it getting in trouble. The guilt is eating her up but this might just cost Maya everything. So, she's been drinking. A lot. "Slow down" Chifuyu says trying to grab her glass

Maya moves her glass out of his reach. "no" 

"Brat" Chifuyu mutters and pours himself another glass

Your brat Maya wants to say but she isn't drunk enough to say that kind of bullshit yet. Instead, she takes another large swing from the glass, resisting the urge to down the entire thing in one go. Her head is spinning but she's no longer thinking about Izana. That's a good thing... Right? Maybe... Instead of just straight up reporting the hospital, she could tell Izana before he leaves tomorrow evening. He's rich and he doesn't seem to really hate her. She could tell him the truth. Yeah. Maya decides to do that. "Hey" Kazutora snaps his fingers in front of her face "you keep zoning out"

"h-huh?" she looks at him "Yeah, my bad... Just thinkin' 'bout work"

"Do you think working with crazy people makes you crazy too?" Kazutora asks

Which was completely insensitive but he also went to a psychologist bi-weekly because he apparently had issues and said he was allowed to be insensitive or something like that. Maya doesn't argue and just shrugs "Uh... I dunno..." and looks over at Chifuyu who was already pretty wine-drunk

He looks pretty. Chifuyu is so pretty. His black hair is a bit messy and his eyes are glossy red. He's resting his chin on the heel of his palm, staring right back at her as his cheeks are flushed red from the alcohol. He looks perfect. Chifuyu was perfect. "Fuck that's enough for me" Kazutora says putting down his empty wine glass "we have work tomorrow I don't wanna be hungover"

Kazutora gets off the floor and lays down on the couch. "We can just open late y'know... Who's gonna say otherwise? The owner?" Chifuyu asks then giggles "Oh wait, that's me"

Chifuyu owned a pet shop and Kazutora worked there with him. It was cute. Some days Maya helped out. Help meaning she'd play around with the cats or whatever animal was there. "Alright you have a point there" Kazutora says and closes his eyes

They're drunk. Kazutora tended to get sleepy when he was drunk while Chifuyu— he'd get touchy and flirty. Maya looks over at Chifuyu again and sees that he's still looking at her. It felt like her heart was in her throat. She looks away as her cheeks flush even more. She chugs down the rest of her glass and grabs the bottle to pour herself some more. "So what happened with Naoto? Chifuyu made him go pick you up on Friday" Kazutora asks, his voice a bit slurred and lazy, now on the verge of falling asleep

Maya just shrugs her shoulders. "'m not feelin' it. Don't like him" she admits "he's nice... but I don't like him"

Chifuyu scoots over to her on the floor, their knees now touching. "I guess that's fair... What's your type anyway?" 

Maya bites the inside of her cheek. Her heart is beating fast and she knows her face is bright red right now. He's barely even touching her and she's already like this. "Maya likes bad boys. Criminals. It's all she attracts anyways" Kazutora answers for her, laughing as he speaks "I mean c'mon look at who she hangs around"

Maya cocks her head to the side in confusion. "What do you mean?" she turns her head to look at Kazutora but he's already asleep, snoring

A hand grabs her neck and forces her to turn her head. If she wasn't blushing before she sure is now. Chifuyu has a hand wrapped around her neck, not squeezing but just holding, making her look at him again. "Why do you keep looking away from me?" His green eyes are glossy red, pupils blown out wide and lids heavy

Okay that's hot. "am not" Maya curses at herself when her words come out as a breathy whisper

Chifuyu's hand is hot and heavy around her neck. It should be scary but it's not. Maya ready books. This shit is fuckin' hot, even better that it's the guy she's been in love with since middle school that's doing it. "yeah you are" he tugs her forward, squeezing her neck only briefly which makes her gasp but then goes back to his gentle hold

There are currently two options going through Maya's intoxicated head: die or kiss him. With the way Chifuyu is looking at her, the first option sounds very nice. "Have you always been this pretty?" He asks softly

Maya has drank with Chifuyu many many times(Kazutora has fallen asleep many times as well) but this has never happened before. Maya thinks she might just have a stroke. Did Chifuyu finally like her back? Did he feel the same now? Was he finally, after years of pining, reciprocating her feelings? There is a short moment of silence, before Chifuyu brings his face closer to her's, a soft sigh leaving his lips. "You haven't dated much, hm? Wonder why..." he asks, mostly to himself rather than her "Pretty girls like you deserve to be cherished"

They say drunk words are sober thoughts. Maybe this is real. Maybe this isn't just a drunken action. Maybe Chifuyu finally loves her back.

They end up in his bedroom somehow. Maya on her back and Chifuyu on top of her. The tips of his fingers caressed along the outside of her clothed thighs, going up along her waist, thumbs hooking into the waistband of her pyjama pants and stopping when hearing her gasp. He smiled and his knee slotted between her thighs. Maya's eyes were open and hands trembling as she stared up at him. She couldn't believe this was happening. Maya prays this isn't a dream. She was drunk out of her mind but fucking hell she hoped she would remember this in the morning.  "you're so fucking pretty" Chifuyu muttered sweetly, one of his hands next to her head keeping himself hovering over her and the other took her's, kissing the tips of her fingers "lemme cherish you"

He let go of her hand and leaned down, pressing kisses along her jaw and cheeks, relishing in the little gasps she was letting out. Their lips would only slightly brush up against each other, her breath becoming more unsteady each time they did. Chifuyu pulled away from her face and chuckled lowly when Maya chased his lips despite not even having kissed her yet. "hey, I've barely done anything and you're already so worked up" he said with a cruel smile 

Maya thinks her heart might just pop out of her chest at this point. "what do you want me to do to you, hm?" he grabbed her hand again and pressed kisses on the tips of her fingers

She hesitated before speaking, her lips quivering. "I—I... I want to kiss you" she whispered breathlessly

"How could I say no when you're asking so nicely" And finally, finally, finally, after years of pining, Maya finally gets a kiss from Chifuyu

He tilted his head and deepened the kiss further, licking into her mouth, groaning in satisfaction. Chifuyu pulled away, breathing heavily. "fuck you're so fun to kiss" he cooed, pupils were blown out dark with lust 

He leaned in again, kissing her harder this time. Maya softly moaned into his mouth, head feeling dizzy. The harsh slant of the kiss and hard slide of Chifuyu's mouth made Maya break into shivers, even with her body flush against Chifuyu's warmth. Maya struggled, scrambling for purchase until her fingers find Chifuyu's shirt, crushing the material in her hands, before she bites down on Chiufyu's lower lip and reeled back, sucking in a greedy breath to clear her mind of the lust-induced fog.

The bruising kiss stained her rosy mouth a darker shade of red. Chifuyu had clucked his tongue when they broke apart, he had canted his head to the side, his tongue running across his lower lip, lapping over where Maya had bitten him before he smirked sinfully. Oh man she hopes she isn't a dream. It couldn't be. It felt too real. His thumb caressed along her brow bone affectionately. "Chifuyu" she muttered weakly

Wine can't cause hallucinations. This had to be real. "Yes?" He shot a wicked smile as he cupped Maya's face, drawing her for another kiss.

He stole the first one in a quick teasing swipe. Another. And another. Running the tip of his tongue along the seam of Maya's plump lips before melting her into a languid kiss that has her shivering against him with Chifuyu's name on her lips.

Chifuyu's mouth captured Maya's full lower lip, sucking it into his mouth before his teeth sunk into the bruised pink flesh. The sting of the bite drew out a delicious whimper from Maya but Chifuyu wasn't satisfied with stopping there. He pressed on immediately, licking into Maya's mouth with filthy flicks of his tongue, devouring any stray sound that escaped as the pretty girl clawed at Chifuyu's shirt, so badly wanted him to take it off. Chifuyu doesn't miss Maya practically trembling against him. His smirk grew, his drunk mind utterly pleased with how riled up she was, tilting his head to press a languid kiss to the corner of Maya's puffy mouth. It's mockingly chaste with the way it left a lingering burning sensation on her skin. There was nothing chaste to Chifuyu in his current mood, not with the wicked tilt of his mouth brushing against Maya's as he spoke. "Let's try that again..." Chifuyu drawled the command; his low velvet tone made liquid heat pool in Maya's gut, fanning a flame of need

"Haa..." Maya arched against Chifuyu with the hot contact on her sensitive skin; the moan dies on her lips when Chifuyu started mapping out searing open-mouthed kisses along the column of her throat and Maya can't help it, finally tilting her head back to give Chifuyu free reign

Chifuyu nipped along the skin teasingly, making Maya's breath hitch. But not soon after he pulled back. "Your mouth looks much prettier when you're chanting my name like this," Chifuyu's mouth slanted with his smug smirk, his thumb traced over the shape of Maya's mouth

"So cute" he muttered and leaned down to her neck once again, leaving hot open-mouthed kisses along her neck

Chifuyu pulls back and with one movement tugs his shirt over his head, throwing it too the floor. Maya is very much staring at his abs and Chifuyu can't help but laugh a bit at how openly she's checking him out. "Let's get this off hm" he says and grabs hold of her shirt "arms up, baby"

Baby, baby, baby. She'll have a stroke. She'll pass away. Maya thinks if it weren't for the alcohol, she would have passed away right when Chifuyu started kissing her. It feels a little different now that her shirt was off, leaving her in just her bra. He has much better access now. Chifuyu grasps tightly onto her clothed thighs pulling her legs onto either side of his, having her hips up high on his lap while keeping her back still against the pillows. Maya lets out a little noise when their hips press together because omghessobigwhatfuck. She can feel how hard he is against her.

Her arms go up around his neck pulling him in closer and tighter and Chifuyu smiles against her lips. It feels good— all the skin-to-skin contact. Both their top halves were bare, skin pressing against skin in this really really good way. Mays's skin is scorching hot while Chifuyu's feels cold under her hands. It's good, it feels really good. They're kissing again and Chifuyu's running his hands over all the newly exposed skin

Chifuyu's hands roamed her bare thighs once he finally got her pants off. Maya doesn't really remember how she imagined this moment would be despite dreaming of it for years. Not that it was finally happening, she felt jittery and unable to keep still as he pulled his pyjama pants off. He's left in just his boxers and his weight was pressing Maya onto the mattress mercilessly, restraining her movements like a predator that had caught its prey and was not planning on letting go until its hunger was sated. Not that Maya wanted to go anywhere. She was fine where she was, pressed to the bed with Chifuyu tongue in her mouth. "fucking hell" he groans

His hand reaches underneath her and with ease, he unclasps her bra and takes it off, throwing it to the floor, adding to the pile of their clothes on the floor. It happens fast. A lot faster than she would have liked to imagine. Once their clothes are off and he's positioned his cock to her entrance, there isn't much kissing anymore. He slides slow and smooth almost in one go, it has her seeing stars. His hands held her forearms tight, grip so hard, Maya knew she'd have bruises for days. Not that she minded now. Everything just felt good and she wanted it to last. This kind of pain didn't hurt, it felt good. Chifuyu let go of her wrists and laid one hand next to her head and the other sliding down to her leg so he could hook it up over his hip. Harsh breathes and whimpers filled the air of Chifuyu's apartment. "taking me so well, hm pretty thing" he whispers breathlessly "so fuckin' tight"

Maya's nails dig into his back, scratching along his skin, leaving long red marks along his well-toned back, letting out a slightly louder whimper of his name. Chifuyu bites at her shoulder as he moves his hips a little faster and harder. "fuck baby, you feel so good" he breathes and hooks her thighs up over his hips

It feels hot. Everything feels hot. The rush of emotions and sensations leaves every nerve ending on fire, Chifuyu's unfiltered groan making Maya so sensitive she feels like she's going to pass out. Being this close, there is barely a stretch of skin that isn't touching Chifuyu and Maya feels all the more thankful for it, not wanting to move just yet, wanting to feel so strongly it almost scares her for just a little while longer. She can hear the sounds she makes. Breathy moans and helpless whimpers. It stops hurting eventually and Chifuyu's hips snap at an even faster speed as he chases his release. It feels good. So fuckin' good, her eyes roll back as he hits a particular spot. "Shit shit shit" Chifuyu mutters, his hand gripping the pillow next to her head "so fuckin' tight... so-ugh fuck... so perfect"

Maya's arching her back and just whimpering out his name over and over like a prayer. It felt so good. It felt so good and all she could think about was him and not the fact that they were drunk— not the fact that Chifuyu had to be drunk to touch her like this. His hand slides down her body and finds her clit with ease, rubbing quick circles on it. She's seeing stars. "w-wait Chifuyu—" she choked out as a coil in her belly began to unwind

"shh~ let it out for me" He coos "Come for me"

So she does, caving in with a cry, digging her nails into his back as her eyes roll back. She convulses under his weight as she releases. Her legs fall slack on either side of him. He doesn't pull out and just looks down at her with wide glossy red eyes. "One more for me, hm?" Chifuyu murmurs and it doesn't give her much of a choice as he grabs her thighs and hooks them back up over his hips

Maya wishes this night would last forever.

The sunlight peeks through the curtains of the bedroom. Maya and Chifuyu wake up at almost the same time. Chifuyu groans as the sunlight hits his eyes and presses his face into the mop of curly hair under his— wait... His eyes snap open, sleep bleeding out of his head

His eyes clear out the familiar outline of the top of Maya's head and he prays to god that the naked body pressed against his own wasn't actually her and just some girl with black curly hair just like Maya. But it is her. He can feel her butterfly pendant press right to his bare chest and her familiar arms around his body. shitshitshitshitshitshitshit. He hears her groan and Chifuyu remembers all the events from last night. Shit. Maya looks up slowly with sleepy eyes. She looks the same as she did all those years ago when she approached him, still wearing her school uniform, in the park with a pack of bandaids after he had gotten his ass beat by Haitani Rindo for something he no longer remembers. Chifuyu feels sick. He's going to be sick. Without thinking he pulls away from her and sits up. Maya makes a soft struggled noise and groans as he moves away from her. The blanket falls from his shoulders to his lap. "Oh my..." Chifuyu is about to say something but he shakes his head and looks around the room for his clothes

Maya watches Chifuyu grab his pyjama pants off the floor and quickly put them on. Her heart drops at the realization of what was happening. She sits up slowly and holds the covers up to her chest. "Ch-Chifuyu" she choked out hoping this wasn't what she thought it was

No way. No way he regretted it. No no no no— "Maya..." Chifuyu says slowly once he has his clothes on

He's picked her clothes off the floor too and put them in front of her. He's looking at her the same way you'd look at a wounded animal or a crying child. She trembles and grabs her shirt, putting it on then lets the blanket fall to her lap. Chifuyu looks away as she puts her pyjamas back on. "Maya I'm sorry" He says gently and she tears up

"No" she whimpers with watery eyes

This couldn't be happening. She knew last night was too good to be true. "Maya I'm sorry" Chifuyu repeats "That was wrong. we were drunk and—"

She shakes her head. "No... That's not fair..."

She feels like a child. "It was a mistake" He murmurs reaching out for her hand

A single tear runs down her cheek. "it wasn't to me" she whispers and Chifuyu finally realizes why Maya looked so heartbroken

They're both silent for a moment. All it took was one tear for Chifuyu to realize Maya had been in love with him for years. "Maya" he couldn't get emotional and give her false hope

What happened last night was a mistake and something that shouldn't have happened. He should have been more in control of himself. "Maya what happened was wrong. I was drunk. You were drunk" He says sternly but as gently as he can "I took advantage of you—"

"No, you didn't. I wanted it. I let you" she argues and Chifuyu just feels even worse "I wanted it"

Maya on the other hand could feel her heart shatter with every word he says. It wasn't fair. This wasn't fair. She wished so desperately that last night hadn't ended and this was just a bad dream happening. She wished... She wished Chifuyu liked it as much as she did. Why didn't he? "Why can't you just love me back?" she whispers with tears now freely flowing down her cheeks

She felt pathetic begging for love. Pathetic. She's fucking pathetic. In love with a man that will never feel the same way. Letting that man take something from her and then hear him admit to her face that it was a mistake. "Maya listen to me" Chifuyu grabs her face and wipes her tears with his thumbs "I told you... I told you and I made it clear I don't like you. I made it clear. Maya I..."

He sighs and lets go of her face when she gives him an utterly heartbroken look. Chifuyu runs his fingers through his hair tiredly while Maya silently sobs. He doesn't know what to say to her and Maya doesn't know what to say to him. "It was a mistake and I'm sorry" He finally says

Maya thinks her heart just shattered. She doesn't know what to do or say— just that she needs to leave before she starts bawling her eyes out. "I... I have work" She quickly slides out of his bed, ignoring the dull ache in her hips and thighs

Chifuyu doesn't stop her. His head is lowered and he doesn't dare look at her as Maya grabs her bag off the floor. She aggressively wipes her tears off her cheeks and leaves his room. She turns the corner and sees Kazutora at the kitchen island holding a coffee cup in his hand. It seems like he knows. Of course, he does. He's looking at her with eyes full of pity. Of course, he knows. Kazutora puts his coffee cup in the sink and then walks over with a glass of water. "I'll drop you home" He shoves the glass into her hand

It wasn't an offer, he was telling her.

Kazutora and Maya sit in the car, the radio playing to fill the silence. Maya still has tears running down her cheeks and Kazutora has his eyes on the road, occasionally looking over at her. "H-Hey listen—"

"I don't wanna listen to anything" Maya mumbles, shutting him down

Kazutora sighs. "Maya... You knew he didn't like you back. You both were drunk and—"

"No... No, you don't understand"

She doesn't know where to start. She doesn't know how to tell Kazutora why this hurts so much. "A-Am I not pretty enough?" She whispers, hands clenching in her lap "Is that what it is? If I was prettier would he—"

"He knows you're pretty Maya... he just doesn't love you" Kazutora says

Oh. Maya stops crying after that. She stays silent and neither of them talk for the rest of the ride. Kazutora doesn't know what to say to her and Maya would rather he not say anything either. Kazutora drops her home and she just mumbles a thank you and leaves the car quickly and heads into her house. 

She felt like shit. Her thighs ache and so do her hips. She's pretty sure she's got a hickey somewhere on her neck and it feels like her heart bleeding inside her chest. Maybe she needs to get an ultrasound done to see if her broken heart can be put back together again.

Maya loved Chifuyu like a rotting dog.

She loved him like her canines were falling out of her gums.

Like the rotting corpse of a dog on the side of a highway that still loves its owner even if they left it to die.

Like something not worth loving back.

Back at Chifuyu's apartment, his heart drops at the sight of blood on his sheets.

(and at Sunshine Grove Psychiatric Hospital, Kakucho holds a gun to the hospital director's head)

notes: this was my first time ever writing smut plz forgive me 😭 also yes, Chifuyu was the one to take her virginity if you couldn't tell. Next chapter is going to go zero to a hundred real quick.

the rotting dog analogy is all thanks to this and you will be seeing it more in this fic because if I'm sad then the rest of you have to be sad too(especially my mc)

I hope you enjoyed reading so far :)

taglist: @kokonoiscoconut @mysouleaten @yaya4thawin @piroporopo @reiners-milkbiddies

[arinoir]

i'm sorry i can't give you up.

i'm actually not that sorry. I keep loving you.

I keep thinking it's over. It's back. It's over again. Oh it's platonic. Oh it's romantic. Oh we're just friends. Oh we're just friends who are kinda touchy. It's nothing. It's something. It's more than nothing.

I've decided to not give you up. At least for now. I kept switching back and forth and everyone keeps telling me to wait. But I'm so bad at that. I just can't seem to lose my feelings for you and I can't keep wanting them to go away so I can enjoy being by your side.

People also tell me that I can get what I want if I just ask. But I have so many things to lose, therefore I won't. I will wait for you, as long as it takes.

You know something funny? I thought you were always chasing girls around and they would chase you around. That's why I thought it was impossible for me to reach you. But you know what? I think I was not only blinded by jealousy, but I wasn't seeing you for who you are.

As much as you chased a girl in front of me, I've seen how you've turned down so many others. It's quite funny, you mention all of these pretty girls and how you'd like to get to know them (lmao code words for talking zone), but you never actually do.

In fact, a cute girl at an event he went to (college club bs basically get drunk the whole weekend lol) was helping him and very obviously flirting with him. But you never did return anything to her.

You were always talking about how you wish you had a girlfriend, but always given the chance, you're actually a lot picker than you sound. I was blinded by jealousy that I couldn't even tell that yeah. That's the kind of person you are. You want a relationship, but at the end of the day, you're going to find someone that you connect with.

It makes remember why I like you in the first place. To me, you have a strong sense of character. I know what kind of person you are. I like you, all of you.

So, to honor my feelings, I won't give them up anymore. Obviously, if you end up dating someone, I'll never tell you and give up on you. But as we are now, I won't. I'll hold onto these feelings with all of my heart and chest. This goes beyond a simple crush or wating to date someone. To me, I need you to stay in my life for as long as I breathe. Friends, lovers, exes, whatever. A lifelong partner.

_______ ____. I have fallen head over heels for you and I can't change that. I've been told how much it's not a crime to have a crush on you, but I feel like I shouldn't.

And you'd think if I wasn't giving up, I'd be more happy. But honestly, idk what I feel. I'm happy, but also conflicted with sadness. Because, I know one day for sure, I'll know the answer. Absolutely. I know this for a fact. And I'm so scared. I can't say I'm not. Above all, if I lost you I'd be so sad. You're a friend who's become so precious to me, I can't lose you.

So please. Tell me what you feel, but also pretend to be oblivious. Like me back and introduce me to your in laws. Reject me and let me move on. Take me somewhere where it's only the two of us. Hang out with me when we're with a group of people. Compliment me and my outfits, and hair clips. Don't comment to make my heart flutter. Love me. Romantically. Platonically.

I'm a hypocrite, but I ask of you. please?

[policemanofprincesspark]

Harry is a straight-up cokehead that has been visibly drunk and high on TV but yet you're mad over Louis smoking weed? Larries that hate Louis are weird.

Btw, Harry smokes weed too. Neither of these men are innocent and both do drugs. Please stop being hypocritical!

The difference is Louis brags about it 24/7 as if it makes him look cool, and he admitted to using vodka red bull and smoking to calm his nerves. You see a cigarette or a drink in his hand in, like, 50% of his photos these days. He hardly goes anywhere publicly but bars or clubs.

I'm sure Harry's image is more under control, and I know he doesn't speak much, but he doesn't and likely wouldn't brag about his drug use.

The truth is that Louis is publicly drunk and/or high much more often than Harry is.

[automatismoateo]

Ex-girlfriend went full fundie and made me breakup over sex … to continue having sex via /r/atheism

Ex-girlfriend went full fundie and made me breakup over sex … to continue having sex

So me and my ex-girlfriend were dating for almost four months when a little more than a month ago she told me she wanted to stop having sex, reason? She got baptized (Christian) and felt a strong urge to follow the no sex before marriage rule. This didn't sit well with me. One, we we're having a very active sex life and two, I'm an atheist, even anti-theist so I want zero religious influence in my life.

I gave it a long thought with not only the sex part, but also the future part in mind and came to the painful conclusion that it would be best for us to part ways. That way I won't start to resent her in the long run (was already resenting her religion at this point) and she won't face potential religious guilt. Pretty sure her denomination was evangelical or maybe even fundie at this point, she believed in creationism, young earth, anti-vax, exorcising devils, her mother even forbid her from watching certain movies and there's no way I'd want to raise my kids this way. Worst part? she got brainwashed from non-believing to this in the span of 6 months. When I confronted her with dinosaurs or the age of the earth, guess what, she didn't even know the bible stated the earth is max 10.000 years old, but ''If the bible says that, it must be true'' or ''Who cares about how old those dinosaur bones are''.

A few weeks pass with on and off no contact, still hanging out, kissing, pretty much acting like a normal couple. Until last week she came to my house and we had sex, multiple times.

A few days later I message her that this didn't sit well with me, why have sex with me if you wanted to stop? Her reason? She couldn't control herself. Such a BS reason. Before doing the deed I even asked if she was sure, she answered yes and even told me she misses it. Again I decide it's best for us to break contact.

A few days pass and she contacts me again. We decide to hit the club and she stays the night. I'm sure you can guess what happened next.

After I brought her home I literally broke down. A month ago she basically gives me an ultimatum, no sex or no relationship, I make the painful decision to break up with my first girlfriend with both of our best interests in mind and you're still going to have sex with me? Why even put me in that spot in the first place. So you're telling me to respect your wish to abstain from sex, yet continue to have sex with me outside of a relationship, and commit multiple sins on a night out (being drunk, dancing on me etc.) to which she replied ''I'm still young and want to have fun''. Pretty sure that's not how the bible works.

You're telling me I made you the happiest you've ever been, yet still decide to put your god above me? If she actually held onto her beliefs at least I could've lived knowing I made the right decision, but now you’re making my heartbreak ten times worse. Even though you made me lose all my respect for you since you turned into the very thing I hate, a hypocritical, cherry picking religious person, you still broke my heart.

Thanks for making me feel like absolute shit, thanks for breaking my heart and thanks for making me despise religion even more for the rest of my life.

Submitted October 22, 2022 at 05:26PM by SaDegree7 (From Reddit https://ift.tt/fZaBw4Q)