#drops dead someone take my tablet away from me

[lyss-butterscotch]

Sorry for the tag but @mewguca said something about Moon in makima's drip and I have not been normal since 👍

[sara-scribbles]

The Thing About Strings

Fandom: Twisted Wonderland Idia Shroud/GN!Reader Word Count: 6,348 Notes: This is loosely based off the concept of red strings of fate Warnings: None

Idia isn’t sure what god he upset, but something he did must’ve pissed someone off because he’s currently being stared down by some very aggressive looking Savanaclaw students. Not in a million years would he ever leave the safety of his room to seek out someone from another dorm, especially one filled with muscle heads.

However, Ortho had asked him to help out a friend, and Idia couldn’t say no to his brother. The only downside was that his friend did not answer their phone, so he was forced to seek them out. It is somewhat of a comfort that his brother came with him, but he’s very much regretting his decision.

A wolf beastman finally comes forward. “Um, can I help ya?” He at least isn’t glaring daggers at him. Idia vaguely recognizes him as a freshman.

Ortho greets the beastman cheerily, “Hello, Jack Howl! We’re looking for (Y/N).”

His brows scrunch together as he speaks, “Oh… Think they went to the field to help Vargas. They left a bit ago, but they should still be there.”

“Thank you!” Turning to Idia, who’s sweating bullets while clutching his tablet for dear life, Ortho tugs on his sleeve. “Come on, let’s go to the field.”

He willingly follows, glad to be away from all that aggressive energy. They arrive at the field but don’t see anyone.

Ortho does a quick scan before pointing them in the right direction. “I detect a bio reading over there.”

Nearing the edge of the field that borders the forest, there’s a single person out there. Standing with hands on their hips, they’re busy studying a dead tree. There’s a handful of power tools nearby. They touch the trunk of the tree and seem to give it a push, but it doesn’t budge.

As the brothers near, you proceed to wrap your arms around the middle of the tree. With a deep breath and slight grunt, you rip the tree from the ground. Idia’s eyes nearly pop out of his skull as he stops dead in his tracks. Balancing the tree on your shoulder, you turn and nearly smack him.

“Woah!” Eyes widening, you manage to avoid giving the dorm leader a concussion. You set the tree down while still keeping it up from falling.

“Hello, (Y/N)!” Ortho greets, waving excitedly.

“Heya, Ortho.” You turn a concerned gaze to Idia. “Sorry, didn’t see you there!”

Idia’s mouth opens and closes without a sound. He just witnessed someone uproot a tree without much effort with their bare hands. And they’re acting as if it’s not a big deal! There’s a nudge from his brother that finally brings Idia’s scrambling thoughts to a halt.

He quickly types out something on his tablet. “Ortho said you had some computer trouble that even he couldn’t figure out.”

“Oh yeah!” You snap your fingers. “I recently got some kind of virus because someone idiot decided to download something illegal without checking to see if it didn’t have anything fishy.” You roll your eyes. “Last time I let anyone borrow my laptop,” you grumble to yourself.

Sounds fairly simple. “Do you have your laptop with you now?”

“No, it’s back in my room. Hold on, let me drop this off and we can head back.” Hefting the tree back onto your shoulders, you carry it off the field and to an area piled with similar dead trees.

“Did you take care of all these?” Ortho asks, he’s busy already scanning the material.

“Yeah. Vargas needed help, and said he’d give me some extra time off from class if I did this.” You drop the tree in the pile.

Your strength stats must be off the charts, Idia thinks while eying the uprooted trees.

“Alright, let’s head back to my dorm.”

Idia internally screams at the idea of going back to Savanaclaw. However, he follows behind without a word as you and Ortho chatter. It’s not odd for his brother to make friends, though you seem to be fairly close to him. Idia had heard about you a few times, but never gave much thought. As long as his brother’s happy, Idia let him live his school life unbothered.

Thankfully the crowd from before is nowhere to be seen. You let them into your room, which is very tidy. A small cactus sits on your desk bathing in the sunlight. You hand over your laptop once you unlock it.

“I hope my documents can be saved. Those are the most important things since I already have photos backed up,” you explain, taking a seat on your bed while Idia uses your desk.

Concentrating on the screen, Idia starts going through your systems. “Did you not have any AV software? Do you know where the virus was downloaded from?” he asks.

Rubbing your temples, you sigh, “I do, but it was turned off. Not by me! The idiot wouldn’t tell me what site it was from. I can only assume it was some shady site since all the history was deleted.”

“Don’t worry, (Y/N), Idia is the best at this,” Ortho reassures.

As he clicks through your files, he notes a very familiar one. “You play World of War and Cats?”

“Yeah, it’s something I play to unwind,” you chuckle, scratching the back of your head. “I know it’s an old game, but I think it’s still better than anything new that’s come out.”

“Totally! It doesn’t need to rely on loot boxes and RNG unlike the newer games! It’s noob friendly and they have so many login bonuses! Plus all the kitties are so cute!” Idia gushes, his eyes glowing.

A slow smile spreads on your face that quickly causes the words to die from his throat. “W-what’s with th-that look?!” he stammers out, suddenly finding interest in your desk.

“Just nice to hear from someone else who enjoys the game. Most of my friends have moved on to other things.” You shake your head. “Hey, do you wanna share handles? I’d love to do a raid if you’re up for it.”

Chewing the inside of his cheek, Idia glances at Ortho. His brother gives him two thumbs up. “S-sure… After I fix this.”

Turning back to the laptop, he pulls out a thumb drive. As he clacks away on the keyboard, you show Ortho a shelf filled with small succulents. “Jack gave these to me. I wanted something to brighten up my room. He said they’re easy to care for too.”

“Based on a few articles, succulents are very beginner friendly. They don’t need too much direct sunlight and just a little water.” Ortho inspects the plants. “These are very nice! It seems Jack made sure to give you the best ones.”

“Yeah, Jack’s a pretty sweet guy. I couldn’t ask for a better soulmate,” you say absentmindedly as you check the soil of one plant.

Ortho’s eyes widen. “Soulmate? You already found yours?”

You rotate the plants. “On his first day at NRC actually.” You glance down at your pinky. Though no one else can see it, a red string hangs from your pinky finger and trails along the ground before disappearing. “He was just as shocked as me,” you continue with a chuckle.

Idia’s nibbling at his lower lip as he listens to the conversation. Shoulders slumped, Idia thinks about the fact that he doesn’t have a soulmate. Of course someone like him wouldn’t have one, but hearing you gush to Ortho about your soulmate just reminds him of the sad truth. Sure not everyone has soulmates like him, but it feels like the world is doubling down on telling him he’s meant to be alone.

Not that he cares of course! He doesn’t need an RL relationship! Not one bit!

“...okay?” Your questions snaps him out of his thoughts.

“Huh?” He frantically looks between you and Ortho. You both stare back expectantly. “Uh… this should be fi-” He turns back to your computer but sees that his usual methods of taking care of a virus failed. “Eh? That’s not right…” He eans closer to the screen as he frantically types away.

“Everything okay, brother?” Ortho asks, concern seeping into his tone. He peaks over Idia’s shoulder, but the warnings don’t change.

“Impossible!” Idia bites down on his thumb as his program continues to fail at removing the virus. After a few more attempts, the third year sighs. Pushing away from the desk, he turns to Ortho. “We need to take a look at this virtus in more detail, Ortho.”

Shaking your head, you can only shrug. “Do what you have to. I mean if I can’t save anything, I guess a complete wipe is fine…”

“Don’t worry! We’ll get to the bottom of this,” Ortho assures as he takes your laptop.

Before Idia can leave, you hand him a piece of paper. “Here, my handle is on there if you wanna add me.” You smile at him warmly, but Idia can’t quite return the gesture.

“Ri-right…” He shoves the paper into his pocket before following Ortho.

---

Gloomurai has entered the chat

Anon123: hi!

*Anon123 waves*

Gloomurai: Hey. Is Muscle Red not on yet?

Anon123: He popped in a bit and said he couldnt make the raid tonight

Gloomurai: Oh k.

Gloomurai sent you a private message

Gloomurai: Is your computer doing okay still?

Anon123: yup! thanks to you, it seems to be working much faster!

Gloomurai: I got rid of bloatware. All those apps you dont use only slows down your processor lol

Anon123: i dont know much about computers, so im glad ortho recommended you! hes right that youre a genius

Gloomurai: hehehe well it wasn’t anything too difficult

Anon123: oh did you hear that theyre releasing a world of war and cats spinoff game!?

Gloomurai: OMG YES! I already preordered the deluxe pack! wheeheeheee!

Anon123: ooohhh lucky! my old system cant handle new stuff so probably have to wait :(

Gloomurai is typing…

Gloomurai is typing…

Gloomurai is typing…

Anon123: you okay idia?

Gloomurai: You could come play with me since its multiplayer. If you want! No pressure!

Anon123: really??? thank you so much!!! let me know when you want me to come over. ill bring snacks! :DDD

Anon123: whoops! Need to go. see ya later! :)

Anon123 has left the chat

---

Though Idia had invited you over to game, he’s a nervous wreck. Once Ortho learned that he had invited you over, he had been super excited. He knew his brother would be happy that he was getting along with you. Though you gave him your handle, it had taken Idia a week before he finally sent a friend request. After much prodding by Ortho, he bit the magic bullet and reached out.

You seemed fairly calm and relaxed despite being in Savanaclaw. It also helped that you didn’t glare at him or ask anything of him. Playing World of War and Cats, Idia found you were surprisingly good. Though it shouldn’t be much of a surprise since you did start playing at launch. So after a few raids you helped with, he invited you to raid with Muscle Red.

Thankfully everyone got along and synergized really well. Idia couldn’t ask for a better team to play. With his new team, he was able to clear a lot of raids in a short amount of time. Of course knowing you in RL sometimes made him feel a bit self conscious. Especially when he happens to see you around school.

Still Idia found it easy to converse with you through chat. You basically acted the same way when he met you. Though he came off a lot more confident in chat, you never made a comment. And even better, you never made it a thing to approach him in school. You did give him a smile whenever you saw him, but that was the extent of your acknowledgement.

“They’re here!” Ortho’s voice broke Idia from his internal panic.

Chewing on his thumb nail, Idia mutters, “Is it too late to say I’m sick and cancel?”

“Don’t be like that, brother! They’re really nice and have been super excited to play this game with you.” He gave his brother a supportive thumbs up.

“R-really? Did they say that?” Who on earth would be excited to spend time with him?

Ortho nods enthusiastically. “Yup! They mentioned it a few times when I saw them around the school.”

There’s a knock on the door. “Idia? Ortho?” your muffled voice sends his heart rate up and his palms begin to sweat.

“M-maybe this wa-was a bad idea…” However, Ortho decides to open the door. You’ve been standing in the hallway long enough.

You step inside the room with two bags in hand. “Hey! I stopped by Sam’s and bought a bunch of snacks. Ortho mentioned some of your favorites, so I bought a little of everything!”

Between Ortho’s enthusiasm and your excitement, Idia feels like he’s being attacked from both sides by the sun. It’s too bright!

“Where do you want these?” You hold up the two bags.

“You c-can put them on the b-bed. Or whatever…”

Though he would typically play on his computer, he didn’t have another chair for you. Instead he and Ortho had rigged up a holographic screen. His floor isn’t the most comfortable, but it provided room for both of you. Plus there’s enough room for him to put a good amount of space between you.

Ortho quickly leaves to do his rounds and Idia is left alone. You settle down on the floor no problem and open a bag of fruity gummies. Sitting down but making sure to leave a good amount of space, he boots up the new game. You grab a few more snacks and put them in the middle.

“I’ve been keeping myself away from spoilers, so I don’t actually know what the game is about,” you confess. The theme music starts playing.

“It’s similar to the original except we get to play as the cat companion and no raiding. I’ve already decided which one I want to be as well as my stats. Maxed for both efficiency and ultimate cuteness!” He grins widely as the character screen comes up.

“So many kitties!” you gush. “How am I supposed to pick one?”

“I know right?! I mean this calico is adorable but there’s something majestic about the Scottish fold.” Idia shakes his head in dismay. “Even though I know which one I’m going for, they made it really difficult.”

As you select your cat and start tweaking the stats, you sigh. “I wish I could have a cat. But I’m allergic. Just being in Trein’s class causes my eyes to water and itch.”

“Ugh, that sounds like a terrible bane.” He can’t imagine not being able to be near cats.

You finish with your character. “Guess pictures and games of cats is as far as I’ll ever get.”

“...”

---

“Morning, Idia,” you greet him in the hallway.

He’s dragging his feet to gym class. There’s no one else in the hall. “Uh, hey.” It’s the first time you’ve verbally greeted him.

You seem to notice his hesitation. “Sorry, I thought that since we’ve been gaming for a few weeks, I could greet you aloud. I didn’t think you’d mind since there’s no one around.”

He quickly shakes his head. “N-no problem! I mean, if you wanna say ‘hi’ I don’t really mind.” It’s not like many people outside his dorm greet him to begin with.

“Really? Great! You know I would like to be friends, outside of gaming that is. But you’re under no pressure to accept that!” Your earnest gaze is a lot for him.

“You want to b-be friends with m-me?” he asks, shocked and a little concerned.

Nodding, you smile brightly. “Of course! You’re pretty fun to be around. Plus, I enjoy our gaming sessions a lot.”

It’s true Idia has fun when you come over. You even moved on to other games to play together. There’s something comforting about your presence. You’re not demanding or overbearing. You seem to be keenly aware of Idia’s comfort levels and stay within the zone. You never pushed him to do more than he wanted to.

A hand waves in front of his face. “Earth to Idia. Come in, Idia.”

“Idon’tmindbeingRLfriends,” he mutters quickly.

It takes you a second to understand his mumbling. Once you do, you smile so brightly he feels like he needs sunglasses. “Alright!!!” you cheer, but quickly cover your mouth as your voice echoes down the hall. “Whoops…”

He surveys the area, but it doesn’t seem anyone heard you. Honestly, he can’t understand why you’re so excited. It’s not like he’s a S tier friend to unlock. If you became friends with someone like Vil, that would be something worth cheering about.

However, he can’t bring himself to say the words out loud. Not when your eyes glimmer with excitement and you smile like that. And maybe deep down, he’s a little flattered.

---

“Hey, can we stop by my room? I forgot to water the plants this morning,” you tell Idia.

He merely nods and follows your lead. Walking into the Savanaclaw dorm is still terrifying, but he’s gotten somewhat used to it. As long as he stays by your side, most of the dorm members don’t give him a single look.

You were headed to Idia’s place to study, but had to make a couple of stops. In your room, you grab the small watering can and fill it up in the bathroom sink. Idia stands by the doorway as you water the plants and give them a few encouraging words.

“Excuse me?” Someone coughs from behind Idia, causing the third year to jump out of his skin. Clutching his tablet to his chest, he stumbles further into your room.

“Uh, sorry…” the intruder apologizes while rubbing the back of his neck.

Looking up from the plants, you wave. “Hey, Jack. What’s up?”

“Just wanted to return your notes. They were really helpful. Thanks.” He hands over a worn black notebook.

“No problem! Runes can be tricky but once you have the basics down, it gets easier.” You place the notebook on your desk. “What do you think?” You gesture to the shelf of plants. “They look great!”

Jack presses a finger in the soil of one pot. “Yeah, you’re doing a good job. Just remember to rotate them every so often so that each side gets some sun.”

“Right, I remember you said that. What would I do without your green thumb? You’re a lifesaver, Jack!” Nudging his arm with your elbow, you give him a teasing grin.

The freshman coughs, looking away. “You’d figured it out eventually. You’re smart and resourceful on your own.”

Chuckling, you set the watering can back in its place. “Anyways, I’m going to head out. I’ll see you later, Jack.”

“Sure. See you tomorrow morning?”

“Bright and early!” As Jack leaves your room, you turn to Idia, who was watching the exchange silently. “Alright, I’m all set. Let’s get going.”

Leaving Savanaclaw, you walk through the halls of Ignihyde. “Whacha thinking about, Idia?”

“What are you doing early tomorrow?” he asks through his tablet.

“I sometimes join Jack for a morning run. I haven’t been keeping up as of late since I’m usually too tired from our gaming session. But Jack made me promise to go tomorrow,” you explain. “He said I’m losing my form, which we can’t have since my dorm participates in spelldrive

“He’s your soulmate, right?”

Arriving at his room, you drop your backpack on the floor near the bed. “Yeah. Jack’s very sweet despite his gruff exterior. I couldn’t have asked for a better one.”

“...”

As you pull out your materials to study, Idia silently watches. There’s something twisting his insides. Watching as you and Jack causally talked reminded Idia of where he stood in your relationship. For many, their soulmate would always be number one. Idia didn’t mind. At first.

The more time he spent with you, the more he wanted your time. And maybe he’s reading too much into it, but your interactions with Jack are playful, almost flirty. Usually he’d cringe at the normies having banter and then ignore them. With you, he can’t ignore it. There’s an obvious affection in the way you speak to each other.

“Can you go over summoning with me?” you inquire. “I just can’t get the symbols and positions right.”

Deciding not to dwell on whatever he’s feeling, Idia joins you on the floor. “First, that’s wrong. Noob mistake. You need to…”

---

“Meowww!” The robotic cat purrs as it rubs against your leg. With a sleek black and electric blue design, the robotic animal is rather cute.

“And it’s solar powered,” Idia explains, finishing up his little show and tell. Though it looks like a tornado hit his room, you’re too busy cooing at the cat to notice.

Picking up the creature in your arms, it curls into your hold. “This is the cutest kitty ever! You’re amazing Idia!”

Rubbing the back of his neck, he can’t quite meet your gaze. The edges of his hair are a light pink. “Eh, this is nothing. I could put this together while playing DDR.”

“If you can do both then you’re definitely a genius.” You chuckle as the robotic cat continues to purr. You hand the creature back to Idia, who doesn’t take it. Instead, he taps its nose, which turns off the cat.

“Keep it. It’s yours.”

Eyes widening, you look at the cat and then back at him. “Are you sure?”

“From one cat lover to another and all that.” He tries to come off as nonchalant and wonders if he succeeded.

“Thank you so much, Idia!” You hug the cat closer to you while beaming at him. Just having your bright smile directed at him sends his pulse into overdrive. You set the cat down. “Hey, can I give you a hug?” You always ask before touching him. Even when he declines, you don’t make a big deal about it.

He agrees with a quick nod.

You slowly and gently wrap your arms around him. “Just let me know if you’re uncomfortable,” you tell him.

Your hugs are full and warm. It almost feels like he’s being wrapped in a weighted blanket. It feels nice. He tentatively relaxes into your hold. In these moments he can almost forget that you don’t have a soulmate.

---

“W-what ar-are you do-doing?!”Idia screams. Despite his feeble movements, your hold on him doesn’t loosen. “I-I ca-can wal- ouch!”

“You can definitely not walk,” you say firmly. Carrying Idia bridal style to the nurse's office, you sigh as he proceeds to continue his whining. You ignore whatever he says.

“It’s not like I hurt myself that badly,” he grumbles.

Giving him a glare, you shake your head. “You fell down two flights of stairs and flat on your face. And you broke your tablet,” you pointed out. “Would you rather I bring you to Ortho?”

Idia shuts his mouth. Knowing his little brother, he’d react even worse. You arrive at the nurse’s office without much incident. While he’s being patched up, Idia is forced to lay on the cot.

You chuckle when you notice his miserable expression. “Don’t be like that. You’re acting like you just pulled on the wrong character banner.”

“This is worse.” His frown deepens. “...never mind that’s still worse.”

Shaking your head, you ask, “Hey, do you want to do a gaming session tonight? It’s the weekend~”

That seems to make him forget the current situation. “There’s a special raid where we can only get the limited five star dragon scale armor. Are you geared up?”

“Yup. I’ll bring snacks!” You glance at the clock. “I should get to class. I’ll let Ortho know you’re here. You give one last wave before heading to the exit.

You hear Idia complaining, “Just leave me like this…” as the door closes. He’ll be fine.

Later, you’re carrying a handful of bags filled with snacks from Sam’s. You easily navigate Ignihyde to Idia’s room. Knocking on the door, you let yourself in. “Hey, I may have gone overboard on the snacks, but we should have enough to stay up la-” Your words cut off once you take in Idia.

He’s laid out on his bed with his leg propped up on a pillow. The thing that made you stop is the sling his right arm is in. “Uh… didn’t you just sprain your ankle?” Ortho is fluffing up Idia’s pillow.

“Hello!” Ortho greets.. “Idia did sprain his ankle when you last saw him. However, he decided not to wait for me to pick him up. Because of this, he fell down some more stairs and sprained his arm,” he explains with a deep sigh and shake of the head.

“Oh… So I guess no gaming tonight?” You hold up the bag of snacks.

Idia pulls the cover up over his face. “Leave me in my misery. This is why I don’t leave my room.”

Setting the snacks down on his chair, you glance around before your eyes land on his bookshelf. “We could binge movies instead,” you suggest.

The covers lower enough that you can see his eyes. “...are you sure?”

“Yeah, why not. Why don’t we watch Creepy Hollow? You were raving about it a few weeks ago.” You pull the DVD from the bookshelf.

Perking up, he sits straighter. “You’ll love this! The Pumpkin Knight costume is peak design! And the twist is just so satisfying!” he babbles.

As you put the disk in the DVD player, Idia scoots closer to the wall to make space for you on the bed. Ortho settles down on the floor leaning against the bed once he makes sure Idia’s leg and arm is properly set. You grab the snack bags and lightly throw them at Idia.

“Acck!” One smacks him in the face.

“Whoops…” You bite your lip to keep from laughing. Idia gives you a dirty look as you make yourself comfortable. Pulling your legs up against your chest, you grab a random snack to open.

The night turns into a movie marathon. Before every new film, Idia has to talk about it and hear your thoughts. There are so many movies that you lose track of time. By the time 4 AM rolls around, you’ve both fallen asleep. Somehow you’ve managed to move from the foot of the bed to the head. You’re curled into Idia’s side. The flame haired third year sleeps on his back with his mouth slightly open. Despite his sprains, he’s dead to the world.

Ortho peers down at the two sleeping figures. He pulls the covers over them. Smiling to himself, he’s happy to see his brother being so comfortable around someone else. “Sweet dreams,” he whispers.

---

“Big brother, you can’t avoid them forever,” Ortho says.

Idia pulls his hood over his head. “Yes I can.” He leans forward as the screen of his computer flashes.

The younger Shroud hovers behind his chair. “Idia, just talk with them. It’s not good to bottle up your feelings.”

“I’d rather die,” he mutters.

Sure it had been a week since the movie incident where he woke up cuddling with you. Sure it’s been a week since he freaked out and shoved you unceremoniously out of the bed while also hurting his sprained wrist. Sure it’s been a week since he last spoke to you, doing everything possible to avoid you. But Idia feels it’s justified since he was caught cuddling with you like some love-sick normie.

You did text him an apology even though it wasn’t your fault. Your last text was from three days ago where you were checking in on him. Idia had left you on read. But you seemed to get the message that he needed time alone and stopped messaging him. A part of him was relieved, but another part felt bad for ignoring you.

Maybe you weren’t embarrassed to wake up cuddling him, but he was and is mortified. He wishes the earth had swallowed him at that moment. Idia will begrudgingly admit to himself that he likes you. But that’s something he planned to take to his grave. However, it seems Ortho’s figured it out. And though his little brother is happy, he seems to have forgotten the one big glaring reason why he can’t tell you.

You have a soulmate.

Idia may have looked into Jack a little more once he got to know you better. And he may have seen that the first year is pretty smart and likable. And he may be a little jealous that you two get along and seem close. There’s no mistake in his mind that you and Jack would make a good couple. Just standing next to each other, you both just look like you fit. You and him? Wouldn’t go at all!

“Idiaaaaa!” Ortho shakes his chair causing him to lose focus. “I won’t allow you to wallow in self-pity!” Crossing his arms, he gives the older Shroud a glare. “You don’t know if they don't like you. Just because someone has a soulmate doesn’t mean they’re bound to end up together. There’s a 47% chance they’re just friends.”

Setting aside the controller because he knows Ortho won’t leave him alone, Idia spins around in his chair. “What do you expect me to do, Ortho? This isn’t some shojo manga where the loser confesses to the popular student and they magically end up together!” He throws his hands up. “I’m an NPC while they’re the main lead. And Jack’s the love interest that’s been fated since birth!”

Shaking his head, Ortho sighs. “You have to at least try, big brother. Are you really okay with never letting them know how you feel?”

“Yes.”

“No!” Ortho makes a big X with his arms. “You’re supposed to get fired up after my rousing speech! If you can’t do this for yourself, do it for me!”

“Ortho…” Idia can’t ignore the pleading look of his brother. “Fine!” Throwing up his hands, Idia gives in.

“Yaaaay!!” Doing a little jump, Ortho pulls Idia to his feet. “Let’s go!”

“Now?!”

“Yes, before you change your mind!” Idia is unceremoniously dragged out of his room.

Outside on the field, Ortho gives Idia a reassuring pat. “You’ve got this, brother! Just pretend your on your way to the last level of a super difficult dunegon.”

“…right.”

“You’re super awesome!”

“…yeah…”

“Who can dual play two shooter games at once?”

“Me…!”

“No one has beat your DDR score in the last three years!”

“Yeah!”

“Go!”

---

Seeing you and Jack laughing together, Idia is reminded that you have a soulmate. A strong, buff, kind, hardworking, good looking soulmate. Compared to Jack, he’s trash. There’s no chance you’d ever look at someone like him when the universe literally made your perfect match.

Despite his initial bravado and confidence boost from Ortho, every fiber in his body screams for him to run. He should just slink back to his room and stay there. Forever. Just as he’s about to turn around, you spot him.

“Idia!” calling his name, you exchange a few words with Jack before jogging over to him. The smile you give him sends his heart into overdrive. He’s suddenly feeling sweaty and jittery. It would be so much easier talking to you through text or voice chat. Especially now that he’s caught these disgusting normie feelings!

“Idia! How have you been?” you ask, head tilting to the side.

How he wishes he brought his tablet! “I-I wa-wanted t-t-to talk…” The urge to melt into his hoodie is strong.

Glancing behind you, the other members of the team are idly chatting. “Sure. Do you wanna head to my room? I was about to go back.”

He nods mutely. As you lead the way, Idia can’t help but admire your form. His face heats up when he realizes he’s staring not too discreetly. If anyone were to see him, they’d probably think he’s some creep! Hands stuffed in his pockets, he nervously clenches and unclenches his fingers. Arriving at your room, it’s the same as always except for one little change. The small robotic cat he had made sits right on your desk.

“You kept it…” he mumbles in awe.

“You made it for me, so of course I’d treasure it,” you tell him matter-of-fact.

His heart does another weird flip-flop. Because of you, he’s having heart problems at a young age! “Uhhh…” Real smooth Idia! He mentally facepalms himself.

Sitting down on the edge of your bed, you gesture to the desk chair. “Do you wanna sit down?”

Usually you’d pat the spot next to you, but you’ve been keenly aware of Idia’s growing discomfort. Giving him some space would be for the best. He gratefully takes the seat.

“So what’s going on, Idia?” you ask, your tone gentle.

Whatever he had practiced flies out of his head. He stares at you blankly. You wait patiently as he tries to gather himself. Finally, you realize he’s not getting anywhere. The obvious signs of distress on his face intensifies. He’s visibly sweating.

Pulling out your phone, you stand up. Walking into your bathroom, you close the door. The sound of the lock clicking in place snaps Idia out of his stupor. Sitting in your room alone, he starts to freak out.

Did you leave because he’s being too awkward? He ruined everything by being a weirdo! What now?!

Before he can start spiraling, his phone rings. Answering without looking, he shakily takes a deep breath. “Ortho?”

“Try again!” you voice chirps through the earpiece. Bewildered, Idia pulls the phone away from his ear to look at the caller ID. Sure enough, it’s you. Calling from the bathroom.

“Idia?” He hurriedly puts the phone back to his ear when he hears you calling for him. “You still there?”

“Y-yes!”

He can hear you laugh. “I thought I lost you for a second. So, what’s going on with you?” Your casual tone causes his body to relax just a bit.

Palms still sweaty, his heart starts to slow to a more normal pace. “I-I was just thinking… Can we play a game tomorrow?”

“Sure!” you agree happily with no hesitation.

“And the day after?” He pushes past his nerves.

“Of course.” Again no hesitation.

Getting a little bolder, he confesses, “I want to game with you all the time.” He holds himself back from asking you to be his player two. That’s way too cringy even for him!

Your soft laughter fills his ear. His heart does a somersault. “I’d like to game with you all the time too, Idia. I’ve been wanting to for awhile now.”

Heart soaring, he quickly comes back to reality when he spies the shelf of plants. “...what about your soulmate?”

“Well, Jack’s a wonderful soulmate.” There’s a pause, then, “But I can only see him as a lifelong friend. And the feeling’s mutual.”

“Huh?? B-but he’s got everything! The entire package! He’s literally your custom made sim!” Oh how he’s screaming at himself to shut up!

“Just because Jack is my soulmate, doesn’t mean I have to have certain feelings for him. A soulmate doesn’t dictate your choices. At least not for me,” you explain.

Even though you’re not in front of him right now, Idia wants to hide so he can scream in peace. This is too much for his poor heart. It’s like a final scene from one of his dating games but much better because it’s real.

“Idia?”

Pulled out from his internal thoughts, he nervously swallows. “S-sorry! A-are you sure? About me?” One last chance to back out. He can pretend this conversation never happened. Sure he’ll hole himself up in his room for a long time. But he’ll get over it. Eventually. Hopefully.

“Are cats cute? Is Premo the best idol group?” The door to the bathroom opens. Stepping out, your radiant smile almost turns him into a puddle of goo.

He remains frozen in the chair as you close the space. Hovering over him, you end the call before setting your phone on the desk. “So, Idia, I have a question for you.”

“Y-yes?” he squeaks. The ends of his have turned a pale shade of pink.

“Would you like to be my player two?” you ask with a grin. It’s so cringe but when it comes out of your mouth, it’s the most romantic thing he’s heard. And he’s played a lot of dating sims!

“Yes!” Though he usually doesn’t like people crowding his personal space, he wants you closer.

Bending down, you press a soft kiss to his forehead. His hair explodes into full on pink. He can feel your laughter against his skin. He isn’t sure if he can handle another kiss before dying. But it wouldn’t be such a bad way to go, he decides.

Instead of doing anything more, you pull away. “We’ll have plenty of time for more,” you say with a wink.

A little disappointed, an alarm rings, breaking the mood. “Whoops, that’s me. Sorry!” You quickly shut the alarm off. “Do you want to do a raid now??”

“S-sure.” Once you’ve gathered your stuff, you lean over and kiss him on the cheek. He lets out an ‘eeep’ as his hair once again burns pink.

“Like I said, plenty of time for more~!”

“S-so embarrassing,” he mumbles as he follows you out.

As you walk side by side, he notes you act as if everything is normal. No mushyness except for that one kiss before leaving your room. He’s relieved there’s no PDA, but the more he glances at your hand, the more he wants to hold it. You move closer to him and hook your pinky with his. His heart beats rapidly.

There might not be a red string connecting you to him, but Idia decides that he doesn’t care. He’ll decide his own fate, red string or not.

[multifan2022]

Golden Lies 7

Im gonna apologize now..

PART 1 PART 2 PART 3 PART 4 PART 5 PART 6

My Masterlist

The next morning when you woke up, Hardin had laid you down and was gathering all of your things. You were tucked into the sleeping bag, and Hardin had his jeans and sweater on. The temp had dropped again overnight, everything around you looked frosted. “It got colder last night, probably down in the twenties. I think they are hoping people will freeze to death, or their bodies go into shock from the temperature difference. Thankfully we are used to it.” 

Hardin's words were soft, like he was worried about spooking you. You nodded, standing and rolling the bag up. Your jeans were thrown on before you stood and looked around. Your mind was slightly scrambled still but you were doing your best to not show it. “We should move, we need to find some water to clean you off so we can treat your cuts again.” Hardin said as he slowly reached for your hand, he was thankful when you didn't flinch away from him. 

Just like the day before, it got hotter and hotter. The grass around you was now dead and brown. The leaves falling from the trees as they dried up, meaning shady spots were far and few between. You held your jackets up to shield yourself from the sun when you could, but you were getting tired. Your shoulders and cheeks were starting to turn red and burn, but more importantly you were dehydrated. 

The one bottle of water Haymitch had sent was long gone. By the time the sun was high in the sky you could hear babbling. You both walked faster as you found a pond, small in comparison to the Superior Waters (Lake Superior) that you lived near. But it didn't matter, you leaned down and smelled the water, relieved to realize it was fresh. When Hardin went to dunk his head you stopped him, your mind turning slowly. 

“We have no way to know it's not poisoned, and even if it's not it could have bacteria that would kill us faster than the lack of water.” You sat back trying to figure out what to do as a now familiar beeping was heard. You looked up blinded by the sun as a parachute slowly fell from the sky. 

When you opened it you found another note and water purifying tablets. ‘Drink up, Look around.’ It didn't take you but a few seconds to start looking for your canteen. Two tablets, two now full bottles of water, two semi hydrated tributes. Once you cooled down slightly from the cold water the second part of the note came back to your mind. 

You stood looking around, Haymitch obviously could see something he thought would help you. It took a long time, but eventually you saw a black hole. “It looks like there's an opening over there, maybe it's a cave? A cave would be cooler than out here, but we would have to swim across..” You talked out loud as you thought. 

Hardin didn't have time to speak before you were pushing your jeans off and toeing your boots off. Your body plunged under the water and thankfully it was clear enough for him to watch you swim over. After a few minutes you swam back and smiled up at him. “It's a cave, it's empty. I'll take our stuff over there so it doesn't get wet. Watch for anyone then you can follow me.”

~

The cave had helped tremendously. Your bodies cooled down out of the sun, and the rock floor felt amazing. Another bottle of water and some of the rations made you feel like you were at the peak of your strength. Well what strength you were going to have after being in here for who knows how long. 

Hardin had fallen asleep, as you watched the cave's mouth, listening for any signs that someone was in the water. There was only a small lip that kept the water out of the cave, any change in the water outside would result in water falling to the rock floor inside. An easy give away for anyone hiding inside. 

He had been acting distant and twitchy all day, like he was trying to hide something from you. The entire day and yesterday he wouldn't walk in front of you, always behind. He was quiet too, almost too quiet. But you figured maybe watching you smash Bauers face in had traumatized him. Maybe he was looking at you differently and now didn't know how to talk to you. 

But when he started mumbling and it was all slurred together your heart sank. You flew off the ground and over to him, your jeans ripping a little as you fell to the ground next to him. “Hardin.. Hardin wake up.” You said as you rolled him over, shaking him and tapping his face. When his dark brown eyes opened they were glossy and lost looking. 

You shook your head as tears started to fall, you hadn't seen him look this lost since he first got sick. Your hands trembled as you grabbed his bag, ripping things out as you looked for the gold bag. When you didn't find it you started emptying his pockets, “Where is it.. WHERE IS IT!” You yelled your voice echoing off the cave walls. 

Haymitch looked down, his eyes stinging slightly. He had watched Hardin take his last pill three days ago. Even though it only seemed like 6 days in the arena it had been almost 10 since you lifted from your tube. Hardin had stretched his 5 pills out to last 7 days without realizing it. He figured the boy just took it when his body told him too, but the last one had been 3 days ago. 

He had begged and pleaded with the game makers to do the feast early. But they said no, there were still 8 districts in play, it was too early. Then he had begged to allow more medication as a sponsor gift, but was again denied. That time he was told if he didnt let it go he would lose his clearance to work for your district at all. And he couldnt afford to lose that, so he was forced to let it go. 

He and Chaff watched as Hardin grabbed your hand and shook his head. He had a sad smile on his face as he wiped tears from your cheeks. “You're going to have to kill me.” Haymitches head dropped to his hands, he knew that this would be the breaking point for you. This would either kill you, or give you the final push to win. When he heard the disbelief and pain in your voice, he was worried it would be what killed you. 

“What did you just say?!!?” You said in disbelief, shaking your head as you pushed yourself up off the ground. Hardin sat up, his head spinning as he closed his eyes. He knew what he was asking was horrible, but he had too. He had to make you understand that this was the only way. 

“Y/n.. I ran out of pills.. I don't even know how many real days it's been since I took one. I'm starting to hallucinate.. I don't want to die slowly. It's the only way.” 

You scoffed and looked at him, “Oh my god you're serious..” You watched him look at you with pleading eyes. “No.. No I won't do it.. If I can find the other tributes.. If I can get rid of more of them, we can make it till the feast. They might give you more during the feast..” You were rambling, you knew that, but your mind was trying to do anything but think about him dying. 

“There's.. There's what nine.. Ten people left? 7 maybe 8 districts.. If I can find the girls from 2, 6 and 7 and the boy from 8 that will drop it down to 4 districts and they can do the feast with 4.. That's what I'll do.. I'll start hunting, you stay here.” You walked over, throwing your shirt on and checking your bag as Hardin's hand grabbed your wrist. 

“Don't ask this of me.. It's too much..” Your voice cracked at the end as he stopped you from leaving. You looked up at him, both of you had tears in your eyes. He bit his lip, trying to think of what he could say to make you think straight. 

“If you leave, and I start to hallucinate again, I could try to leave. I would drown or someone would find me stumbling around the woods like I did back home.” He grabbed your face and forced you to look at him when you turned back to your bag. “What If I'm here hallucinating and someone gets in and kills me. They could then wait and by the time you realized someone was in here it would be too late. You could win this, but you're gonna have to go on without me.”

You shook your head as it fell to his chest, his arms wrapped around you. You felt his lips press against your head as he squeezed. “I'm sorry.. I tried holding off on taking them.. I think I probably stretched it a few days. I only had 5 to start with, not ten like I said. If I'm going to die, I would prefer it to be quick and by your hands.. Don't let them kill me. Don't let this sickness kill me..” 

It was quiet between the two of you for a while, you knew he had made his mind up. And you knew he was right, you couldn't leave him on his own. You definitely didn't want the careers finding him, they would drag it out. Make their own game of killing him. When you pulled away you nodded and spoke softly, “Lets go.. See if we can find somewhere to watch the sunrise like we do at home..” 

~~

The two of you made your way from the cave, walking silently trying to find a cliff or an edge that overlooked the arena. When you walked the trees started to thin and the world seemed to start to shimmer. You had no idea what was happening, as the game makers changed the arena around you. 

There was constant information coming in about how the citizens of the Capitol wanted the games to go. It helped the Game makers change things around to appease them. They knew when things were getting too boring, or who they were hoping would win. Who they didn't like, and who they wanted gone. 

And right now, there was a lot of sympathy going around for the Capitols ‘Little Goddess’. 

So Morel Pitpetal, the lead game maker, had decided to set the scene. He pulled up what a sunrise from district 9 looked like. He found that the part of the district you lived in was right on Superior waters. And he had to admit that the sunrise there was one of the best he had ever seen. Maybe even better than the ones here in the Capitol. 

So he started taking trees out of your path, leading you to a clearing filled with large rocks. When you reached it your breath stopped. “This looks just like back home..” Hardin said as he looked up at the sky, even though he knew it was the middle of the day the sun was rising again. Trees behind the two of you, and a rocky cliff with waves splashing up in front of you.  (picture up top, is actually Lake Superior #GoMichigan)

You sat down, trying to even out your breathing. You were trying to force yourself into whatever part turned on when you killed someone. It felt like you had two personalities, the one that hated being here.. And the one that was born for this. The second one being what you needed right now. 

As the sun unnaturally rose, orange, pink and purple filled the sky as you and your best friend watched the waves crash onto the rocks. It was silent, in a comfortable way. But you knew you needed to get on with it, the game makers wouldn't let you just sit here. Hardin knew that too, because as you stood up he spoke softly. “Remember that spot we found on the beach? The part that we weren't technically supposed to be at?” 

“This is going to be heartbreaking.. I can't imagine how this must feel for her.”

“Yeah.. I remember..” You said as you moved to stand behind him, you placed your hands on his shoulders. Tears filled your eyes as you looked out over the water. You were surprised to feel how relaxed Hardin's body was, like he had fully accepted it was his time. “I know you cant really bury me.. But put something there so it's always marked for us.. And try to win, don't let this be what gets you killed.. Please..” 

You nodded, even though he couldn't see it. You knew this needed to be fast, and done perfectly to prevent him from suffering. If you did it wrong his brain would fight for his body to recover and it would take him at least two minutes for his brain to start to turn off from lack of oxygen. If you did this wrong, he would suffer in silence for the last five minutes of his life. 

But if you did it correctly, up and at just the right angle you could sever his spinal cord. This would result in instant death, which is what you needed to happen. “I love you Hardin.. You're the brother I never got to have.. I don't know how I'll go on without you.. But I promise to try.”

He sniffled a little, knowing he wouldn't get to see whatever happened next in your life. He just hoped that there really was an afterlife for people like his mom had always said. "You and I will meet again, when we're least expecting it, one day in some far off place, I will recognize your face, I won't say goodbye my friend, for you and I will meet again."

You didn't give yourself the chance to start crying. Nor did you give him the chance to speak again, afraid that whatever he said next would break you. Side stepping quickly, one hand landed on his cheek running down to his chin just as the other reached the top of his head. Pulling down with your left arm and pushing up with the right, it took all your strength before you heard it. 

CRACK

Haymitch, Chaff, Mags, Finnick, Cashmere, Brutus, President Snow, Seneca Crane, all the game makers and everyone watching at home watched as you slowly lowered Hardin's body to the ground. They could all see you shaking as you reached for his neck, checking for a pulse. 

When the cannon went off alerting you to the death of your friend, they all watched you vomit into the water. They watched as you sobbed loudly, screaming in pain as you clutched your chest. This was a feeling none of them knew, Mags was crying into her hands. 

Sure the victors had all killed people, they were all winners of the games. Each of them had blood on their hands, but never like this. Never had any of them had to mercy kill someone, never killed someone they grew up with. 

The pain in your scream was something different then the pain of winning this game. Something different than the pain of being sold for others pleasure. All of their hearts went out to you, Finnick couldn't imagine killing Mags. Enobaria didn't really like Brutus, but never thought about killing him. 

Haymitch knew he would rather die than kill Chaff. Cashmere would never ever be able to kill Gloss. But here was an 18 year old girl, who had killed 3 other people to protect someone. Someone she ended up having to kill in the end anyways. The only thing that they could think after that was that if someone else won, it wouldn't be as deserved as if you did. 

Seneca Crane watched with three other men from inside his apartment. They all looked at each other, nodding with sadistic grins. It had finally been decided between the four of them, they would do what needed to be done to get this girl out of the arena. 

She was the one they had been waiting for.. And they wouldn't wait any longer. 

And with that, Crane stood, straightened his jacket and went to find Haymitch Abernathy. 

~

~

~

@avis15 @liballer @avoxrising

[fanfic-recs-01]

Reddie Fics

This is just a list of all the Richie Tozier/Eddie Kaspbrak fics I like on AO3, if you have any recs for me feel free to send me some!

Updated 9/19/23

Runaway Now and Forevermore by AlexSW97

~Richie and Eddie run away together in 1994 and return to Derry in 2016 as actual bickering husbands.~

richie tozier: not an asthmatic by walmartofficial

~“I’m getting word that I’m not allowed to tell this joke,” he tells the audience, “but it was gonna be about eating ass, if that wasn’t clear.”~

move in, mess my place by bebe8s

~Stan motions to the two new guys in the room. Eddie doesn't even have time to focus on Bill, because he's too distracted by the lanky boy sprawled out across his bed. With his dark curls and pale skin, it's undeniable. It's the guy from last night.

"Well, hello there, princess." Richie says with a smirk, and Eddie can feel the flush in his cheeks.~

walk me home in the dead of night by QueenWithABeeThrone

~Richie Tozier met Eddie Kaspbrak for what they both thought was the first time in a shitty New York dive bar, sixteen years ago.~

fruit from a forbidden tree by glorious_spoon

~a week before he's supposed to get married, Eddie hooks up with a stranger in a bar, and it changes the trajectory of his life.~

we belong to the sound of the words by ShowMeAHero

~Eddie’s got a messenger bag across his shoulders and, when they’re brought out to Richie’s autograph table, he’s glad he brought it. It’s full of tissues, hand sanitizer, granola bars, mini water bottles, zinc tablets, lozenges, and anything else he could think to grab. The con floor is fucking packed, and Richie’s got a whole goddamned line of fans waiting for him that scream and cheer when he comes out.~

Put Those Colors On by TheMightyChipmunk

~Set in a universe where you don't see color until you hear your soulmate laugh, Eddie really doesn't think Richie is funny. I wonder how that's going to work out for them.~

cherry cordial by ShowMeAHero

~He’s staring down hard at his phone, scrolling aimlessly through Facebook without reading anything, when someone bumps into him. Whoever it is grabs the pole, their hands brushing against each other’s.

Right in his ear, the guy says, “Fucking shit, you’re hot.”~

walk through fire for you by hyruling

~His eyes properly well up now. Richie has only seen Eddie cry a handful of times in his adult life, so he’s fairly concerned. He drops down to sit across from Eddie and takes his hands in his.

“Eddie baby, now you’re scaring me, why are you crying?”

Tears track down Eddie’s cheek, and he all but wails, “Cause you’re engaged!”~

Morphine by inoubliable

~They all crowd around Eddie's bed, their faces shimmering a little. Eddie has to squint to make out their features, and he laughs once he does. They all look so worried. Eddie feels great.

"Oh my God," Stan says, at the same time that Richie says, "He's high."~

Lips Like Fire by yallreddieforthis

~When Richie finally convinces the Losers Club to light up with him he needs to find an... 'alternative way' to get Eddie high without giving him an asthma attack.~

The 'Do Not Fucking Touch Me' Tour by loserchildhotpants

~Richie Tozier's taken up writing his own material for once, and it could absolutely ruin him~

anything for a fan by zach_stone

~It was fine, though. Just a stupid little celebrity crush; a safe, inaccessible outlet for Eddie’s deeply suppressed gay thoughts. He could pine away over Trashmouth Tozier from the comfort of his living room, clicking on video compilations with titles like “Top 10 Trashmouth Interview Moments” and only feel vaguely guilty.

And then, of course, he gets a call from Mike Hanlon in Derry.~

nor rivers drown it by theparadigmshifts

~"We promised to confide in each other, and cherish each other, and sustain each other, and all that jazz.”

Stan stares at her, blinks twice.

"And right now, that means going back to your horror-show hometown, and facing your trauma, and potentially killing a demon. Together."

Or: When Mike calls from Derry, Patty answers the phone instead.~

lost inside a moment (with you) by anniebibananie

~In which Richie is always pretending to be Eddie’s boyfriend, Eddie fucking hates it, and finally Eddie decides two can play that game (it is not a total disaster… depending on your definition of total disaster).~

Everywhere, All At Once by EvieSmallwood

~Eddie bites his lip, tucking his hands deeper inside the pockets of his sweatshirt. It’s actually not even his, it’s Richie’s; a faded band logo, a hole by the collar, the faint smells of cigarette smoke and laundry detergent.... it’s like Richie’s with him, which is all Eddie really wants.

Which could be why he’s walking to Richie’s house at one in the morning.~

Party Foul by sundaise

~Crashing a stranger’s birthday party isn’t usually a part of Eddie’s weekend plans. Neither is unknowingly chatting up the cute dark haired comedian... who happens to be the roommate of said birthday boy.

“So, how do you know Stan?”

Eddie’s blood runs cold with shock as soon as the innocent question leaves his lips. “Oh, uh,” he shrugs nonchalantly, like it’s no big deal, “I’m dating his roommate.”~

Must Love Dogs by TheMightyChipmunk

~When Eddie sees a dog, he's gotta pet it. Even when he is stuck in traffic.~

I Didn't Know There Were Wizards in California by spotlightonmringenue

~Will ignores a timid reply from his classmate, his focus fully on this strange interloper that could be his best friend’s twin.

Evil twin, as Dustin would say, his voice low and incriminating. Ultraman type shit. Will considers relaying the situation on their upcoming weekly call to make the current situation less unsettling.~

Playing for Keeps by LogicalBookThief

~Richie and Eddie go on a game show for couples. Nobody expects them to be such a dream team. And nobody suffers as much as the host.~

[shallowrambles]

Shabby studies in meaning making

Some disturbing revisitations to PTSD!Cas

7x21

CASTIEL Yes. Of course. Oh. Outside today, in the garden, I followed a honeybee. I saw the route of flowers. It's all right there, the whole plan. There's nothing to add.

This means, the plan is complete. We shouldn't add anything to it. Certainly not free will.

///

CASTIEL Will you look at her? My caretaker. All of that thorny pain. So beautiful.

Not much here, except he likes Meg.

///

CASTIEL Yes. I heard a ping that pierced me, and, well, you wouldn't have heard it unless you were an angel at the time.

CASTIEL Oh. Of course. Now I understand.

CASTIEL You were the ones. Well... I guess that makes sense.

CASTIEL If someone was going to free the Word from the vault of the earth, it would end up being you two. Oh, I love you guys.

CASTIEL pulls DEAN and SAM into a hug.

Some contradictory relief here; the relief that Sam and Dean are bringing meaning to chaos.

///

CASTIEL Did you know that a cat's penis is sharply barbed along its shaft? I know for a fact the females were not consulted about that.

Sex. Cas is mentioning it A LOT. Like he's trying to distance himself from it in a clinical, "watcher" kind of way. Probably he can't understand why he wants it, what possible connection if could offer. Perhaps he's disgusted with himself. He'll revisit it often: repetition, sex and wars. Bees like flowers because they feed on their nectar and pollen, and they facilitate sex between flowers.

///

CASTIEL This is the handwriting of Metatron.

CASTIEL Uh... "Tree”? [He looks at SAM and DEAN.] "Horse"? "Fiddler crab"? I can't read it. It wasn't meant for angels.

Wryness. Also re: above and Word freed from the vault; angels aren't meant to make meaning.

///

CASTIEL Don't like conflict.

CASTIEL disappears and the stone tablet drops to the floor, breaking into three pieces.

Dismissive avoidant in full swing. No emotions, no participation, no war-making. He breaks everything he touches. NOTE: The angel tablet breaks into THREE pieces, representing Sam, Dean AND Cas.

///

DEAN walks over to stand in front of CASTIEL.

DEAN You realize you just broke God's Word?

CASTIEL looks away and DEAN sits down at the table opposite him.

WOW. And it broke into THREE pieces! Cas is ever the glue, an essential component of free will.

///

DEAN It's Sam's thing, isn't it? You taking on his, uh, cage-match scars. I'm guessing that's what broke your bank, right?

CASTIEL Well, it took... everything to get me here.

DEAN What are you talking about, man?

This is VERY mysterious. Makes you think maybe there's more to Daphne, or more to Naomi journeying to Purgatory to get Cas back. That Cas is more important than he realizes?

///

CASTIEL Dean, I know you want different answers.

DEAN No, I want you to button up your coat and help us take down Leviathans. Do you remember what you did?

CASTIEL holds up the board game “Sorry!” He shakes it once and the board and pieces appear on the table, set up ready to play. CASTIEL sets the box aside.

CASTIEL Do you want to go first?

They're venting their frustration at each other through talking about other things and being indirect.

I think of the conversation about Adam & Michael from Season 15. They're both symbolically irritated with one another. Dean is seriously wounded: Bobby is dead, he almost lost Sam, and then he got Cas back and promptly lost him again right away. For a guy carrying around another guy's coat, Dean's definitely at sea.

Cas is essentially saying in code: YOU APOLOGIZE TO ME FIRST.

///

DEAN picks up a “Sorry!” card.

Dean's playing! Visually, he's sorry. We know he is because of how we saw him sing along to "I'm All Out of Love" by Air Supply. We saw the conversations between Bobby and Sam. We saw the coat Dean carried around. But Dean doesn't get his meaning across. He's too hurt.

///

CASTIEL You know, we weren't sure at first which monkeys were gonna make it. No offense, but I [DEAN moves a marker on the board] was backing the Neanderthals because their poetry was... just amazing. It's in perfect tune [CASTIEL picks up a card] with the spheres. But in the end, it was you – the [CASTIEL moves a marker] homo sapiens sapiens. You guys ate the apple, invented pants.

Cas is distancing himself from humanity, putting Dean under a microscope and moving as FAR from him as possible.

We're not alike, angels and humans. I'm above you, away from you. It's a callback to all of Uriel's mud monkey insults, it's a callback to, "You're just a man."

///

DEAN Cas, where can we find this, uh, Metatron? Is he still alive?

CASTIEL I'm sorry. I – I think you have to go back to start.

DEAN moves a marker.

DEAN This is important.

CASTIEL motions for DEAN to pick up another card. DEAN does and moves another marker.

DEAN I think Metatron could stop a lot of bad. You understand that?

CASTIEL picks up another card.

CASTIEL We live in a "sorry" universe. It's engineered to create conflict. I mean, why should I prosper from... your misfortune? [CASTIEL puts down a marker and moves DEAN’s marker back to the start.] But these are the rules. I didn't make them.

Cas is giving into nihilism. Nothing matters. The universe sucks and is neverending conflict. Angels are angels and humans are humans.

Human suffer and angels hoard their souls as winter-food in Heaven, perhaps.

They are fundamentally incompatible. I didn't make the rules, Dean. The universe is harsh and unforgiving. I tried being God but there were stll unbendable rules I could not overcome.

///

DEAN You made some of them. When you tried to become God, when you cut that hole into that wall.

CASTIEL Dean... it's your move.

///

Cas ignores his role in any of it. Cas has completely withdrawn from life. From this entire game.

///

DEAN pounds a fist on the table and swipes the board to the floor.

DEAN Forget the damn game! Forget the game, Cas.

Dean hates the game, obviously. Chuck's stupid, stupid game. He wants to tear up the rulebook, still--NOT simply follow the honeybee into the garden and consider it complete. It's NOT complete, it's not laid out; it's worthy of rewriting. Dean still wants to rewrite the rules OF the game.

///

CASTIEL I'm sorry, Dean.

DEAN No. You're playing "Sorry!"

And he is. Cas is shunting all the responsibility to the nihilism and coldness of the universe, seeing himself as a cog prospering from the misfortune of others.

Furthermore: He denigrates humanity as nothing more than sets of monkeys that angels were "backing or not backing," like a GAME. That chasm between angel and human seems wide and uncrossable here.

Dean hates the inescapable game.

///

CASTIEL is picking up the game pieces. He stops and looks up.

DEAN What?

Yet, Cas resolves to KEEP PLAYING THE GAME, just as he does later in Golden Times.

15x06 >>> MELLY: Thing is, taking yourself out of the game doesn't really change the game CASTIEL: Yeah. If I stay, nothing changes. It's time for me to get back in the game.

[sweetiesicheng]

“fallin’ flower” - 02

word count : 774

-

avenue b has been known as an area with bars and restaurants lining up the entire street, so it was always easy for people to always be able to grab a bite to eat while having fun. however, despite the bright atmosphere surrounding the avenue, you couldn't shake the feeling of darkness that lurked around.

and here i am, looking very out of place.

i stand in front of a bar known as "ruby." from the outside, the bar looks very busy. a band plays music in one corner as i go inside after having my id checked, trying to avoid bumping into anyone and trying to not look like a dumbass while using the crutches.

"you're in the wrong crowd, sweetheart," i hear someone speak and see a guy eyeing me from the bar top.

"why's that?" i ask him.

"you're making yourself look like a target," he replies.

i go over to him and sit down next to him. he drinks from a whiskey glass. "well, ya see any other targets around? i'm looking for one in a gip," i ask.

he freezes in place, holding the glass almost to his lips.

"you the one from the thrift store the other night?" he asks.

"you the one who shot me?" i reply back to him, "imma beat your punk ass up if it was."

he puts the glass down, "not me, i wasn't even there. it was one of the other kids."

"where's the guy? he told me to come here," i ask, changing the topic from me to the man i had met days ago.

"he's busy," the guy answers, slicking his hair back. "he wants to see you?" he questions while raising an eyebrow at me.

"told me to come here when i can walk again," i recall what the guy had said to me at the hospital. "i'm up and moving, so where is he?"

"jeonghan, you heard her," the bartender speaks up, and i raise an eyebrow. i look around and see a familiar face stand up from a nearby booth. he walks over and looks down at me.

i sit back, "what? no witty greeting?" i ask him.

"mingyu, bring her inside," he instructs before walking away. i look at the guy sitting next to me, and he finishes the rest of his drink.

"let's go," he says and stands up.

i get up and follow the guy. we go through a door, presumably to the back of the bar, but once the door closes behind us, the guy knocks me to the ground.

"hey, what the hell?" i speak and the guy brings me into a room and sits me down on a chair. he handcuffs me to the chair, and i see three guys in the room while the whiskey guy leaves the room.

"this is her?" one guy asks, staring right at me. he picks up a tablet, "kim nari, twenty-four. dropped out of high school as a freshman. record for multiple counts of theft.”

i keep my composure despite my record being read out loud.

"so where's my money?" the guy standing the middle asks, "you know, the money you stole?"

"your money?" i laugh, "yea, good luck getting a hold of it," i add with a smile, staring at the guy who just spoke to me.

the third guy turns to the guy in the middle. he brings his hand up and whispers to the middle guy.

"jeonghan tracked you down?" the middle guy asks once the third guy stops whispering.

"dude with the injury? yea, and one of your boys put a bullet in me. was the only way i got caught by the other guy," i reply.

"you're lucky you're not dead yet," the shortest guy says, placing the tablet on the table.

"what can i say? have a lot of luck," i say and slouch a bit in the chair.

"if you're so lucky, how about working for us?" the middle guy asks.

i smirk, "i steal your precious cash and now you want me to work for you?" i question and start laughing, "this is getting interesting," i comment.

"if you join us, you wouldn't need to steal money anymore. you'd earn a lot more than what you stole," the third guy says, putting his hands in his pockets, "could use someone like you, once you heal that is."

"and if i decline?"

all three men reach to their sides or to their backs. they each take out a gun, all of them being different, and point their weapons at me.

"i think you know your choice."

[merge-conflict]

speaking of -> early version of "washed in the blood" where valentine gets hit with a hack that crashes her optics and then tries to sort it out on her own. if I were to write it again I would probably think of a little "AI" assistant utility that comes on the interface, like a little packaged chatgpt thing. I think it would be funny if it were about as accurate as what we have now and thus as frustrating as relying on a text-to-speech utility struggling to read extremely verbose error message/stack traces.

--

He stopped abruptly, in response to her reaction at being assailed by a storm of network traffic that threaten to overwhelm her interface. It was a crude but effective way to force her off the access point, and the increased strain on her interface made it difficult for her to track the source. She was aware, distantly, of Takemura trailing her as she searched until she found the phone clutched in the hands of one of the fallen scavs out in the hallway.

“What is it?”

She tried to sort through the mess of RF spectrum allotted to the single access point in the building. It wasn’t the kind of data she like to try to sort through raw, but she was eager to find the culprit.

“Someone’s trying to fuck with me.”

A flash of light caught her eye, from a tablet lying underneath one of the bodies. Takemura picked it up, wincing slightly at the bright array of colors. He tilted it for her to see, and she realized a moment too late what it was doing, as her eyesight stuttered and flashed. She closed her eyes, but before she could think to trigger a reset everything suddenly went dark.

A muffled bang made her instinctively drop into a crouch, followed by the sound of an unfamiliar voice cursing. There was a brief exchange of gunfire, and a tense silence before she heard the sound of shoes crunching on the dirty floor. She tensed, and rose to her feet, futilely trying to track movement her brain was convinced it could see.

“He is dead,” Takemura told her, a strange note in his voice.

“I can’t see.”

The assault on her interface had stopped, and she could still feel the network around her, in a proprioceptive sense. Takemura was only a faint directionless pulse. No matter how many time she gave the command to reset her ocular implants they remained dark. She could not even see her terminal to be sure that her commands were being executed.

“I will take you to your ripperdoc.” He put his hand on her back, guiding her forward until she could reach out and touch the wall by the stairs. “We should leave, before you find more trouble.”

“I can fix it,” she protested, “I just need a minute.”

But he was uninterested in negotiation, and she had little choice but to stumble along as he pulled her up the stairs and out into the alley. It took most of her concentration to keep up with him; he was either impatient or didn’t think to give her warning before he turned or stepped off the edge of a sidewalk. After a few awkward missteps she gripped tightly to the shoulder of his jacket, which made it a little easier to anticipate his movements.

Finally they came to a pause, and he sat her down on a bench, walking away without warning. She could still sense he was nearby, and he had no reason to abandon her, so she tried to focus on the problem at hand. Even without visual capabilities she could bootstrap a rudimentary sort of feedback by piping output through several utilities, but it was a slow and painful process. The speech utility was not particularly context-sensitive, and listening to it slowly read error output was enough to drive her out of her skin.

“You have had your minute,” Takemura said, startling her as he sat down next to her. He sounded faintly amused. “You do not look fixed.”

“My deck speaks much slower than I can read.” She turned to face him, emboldened by the lack of sensory input. “How would you like to be my eyes?” She pinged him with output directly from her terminal.

“Hello world,” he read, skeptically.

She felt a smile come over her. “Perfect.”

With his help she diagnosed the issue quickly. Whatever exploit the scav had used to disable her implants had corrupted some configuration file. Replacing it with the default and attempting once again to reset resulted in a brief strange lightshow of oily iridescence, and an uncomfortable amount of pressure before the world once again flashed into view.

Her hands, once clean, were smeared with blood from damp horror of her shirt. Takemura handed her a cup of coffee, still hot to the touch. His hands, of course, were spotless.

[deadman-walken]

I watch as the water mixes with the blood washing off my body, spiraling down the drain to never be seen again. Everything that I did afterwards was a direct result of no longer existing. I was a next level cleaner. Of course I had to be, I couldn’t leave my messes for someone else to take care of. That’s where mistakes happen. 

“FUCKKKKKKKKKKKK…”

My forehead fell against the soaked tile wall and I let the water finish its job by rinsing the night's affairs away, but only physically. Mentally was a whole other thing. Put a smile on, do a good job and keep everything surface level. 

I heard my fathers voice more often than I did my own, and he’d been gone from this earth for more than ten years now. It wouldn’t matter how long, his lessons had been drilled into me the minute I was cut out of my mother. 

I was saved from any more tortuous thoughts by the ringing of my phone belting out ‘Crazy Sexy Cool by TLC’ which was the tone designated to my cousin, Kris. I made quick work of getting out of the shower, grabbing a towel and draping it around my waist. It was still beating off the base when I finally snatched it off my bedside table.

“Speak or forever hold your breath, I’m dripping a lake on my wooden floors right now.”

I heard a snort and then laughter on the other end.

‘It’s not my fault that you don’t know how to carry your phone with you.’

I was rolling my eyes before she finished that sentence. Kris always said the same thing. I hated having my phone attached to me at all times, and she knew it.

“When they force us to take a shot up the ass and inject us with tracers, I will then keep an electronic device on me.”

‘HaHaHa…Maybe this is why you are single. You barely have your phone with you to receive and answer properly to calls or messages. Just food for thought.’

“And what is your reason for being single, since you have some form of phone/tablet/watch or anything with you at all times?”

Okay I am sure I heard a slight growl come through the line this time. That had me smiling in victory.

‘Meanie…anyway what are you doing tomorrow?’

I thought for a moment, it was Saturday night, I had taken care of the majority of what I needed to, and being busy tomorrow would be good for me.

“Nothing, I’m open for anything that’s legal.”

With Kris that needed to be added in, I’ve ended up behind bars or in the back of a police car a couple times because of my cousin, and I would do it again. I don’t have a large family, the ones I have I keep close to me, that includes the ones that weren’t blood but had become family along the way.

‘Perfect, wear work clothes, something you don’t mind getting trashed and I will be there to pick you up around noon.’

Questions and warning signs went off in my head but for now I didn’t have the mental capacity to ask or even broach the subject of what the fuck. Instead I just said. 

“Sounds good, I will see you then.”

‘Are you okay, Lenx?’

I could answer honestly but then that would have me with nighttime visitors that wouldn’t leave and right now I couldn’t handle being around another.

“Yes, I finished digging the trench and then went and poured the footers for Monday's job. I need my pupper cuddles, my bed and hours on hours of sleep.”

There was about forty seconds of silence before Kris finally answered, obviously appeased by my answer.

‘Okay, hug the little flea bag tight and I will see you on the morrow.’

The line went dead and suddenly I felt the exact same, giving into the exhaustion I literally fell into my bed that I had been standing by, soaking wet and all. I dropped the towel to the floor and slid under the blankets pulling them up over my head. It was right on cue that my little monster jumped on the mattress burrowed under the covers, curling up tight against my chest so I could feel his tiny heated fur ball against me.

[eristic-kaleidoscope]

Q || Byrne || Trial 4-1 || RE: END, Jae-min, Kenshin

How he was still alive and sitting at his podium was frankly a mystery to Byrne. He had so many chances to die over so many years of his life, and so many chances to die since he'd been here, and yet. Somehow, he was still standing. Or... sitting if you wanted to be literal about it. The feeling of being alive, the feeling of having air in your lungs at the cost of another's... Another one... Another nine... Another 46, another... 55. Soon to be 56. So much blood had been spilled for this one man to live.

And as his memories had flooded back into his body, and into his consciousness, he asked himself... What had he been doing these past three days? Feeling like he was in a haze of depression worse than his average, living as if he was already dead. As if he had nothing to lose, nothing to gain.

The 55th. The 55th death in the name of Erika L. He squeezed his hands opened and shut, confirming that his muscles still responded to his mind, that his mind still instructed his body. That blood was flowing through him and his heart was beating.

Byrne was alive.

And that fact would continue to hurt, no matter how much he struggled to hold onto that air, that blood, that motion. Living was a path of suffering he'd promised himself he'd continue to take.

... Ok.

Now to address the rest of the world. They were waiting, weren't they? Not just for him, but for the entire group. He opened his mouth.

"This morning, I--"

BANG. END's leg slammed into her podium.

Byrne flinched, temporarily frozen in place. He choked out a cough. Just a loud noise. It was just a loud noise. Nothing he needed to concern himself over, but... He swallowed, temporarily staring off into space in a cold sweat. It took him a minute to peel his eyes away from the middle distance and towards the source of the sound, END's broken podium. AND tablet.

... He didn't want to address that right now. He'd been an asshole enough already as of late.

"... Guess I'll start with something else. To uh. Everyone I've been a complete asshole to, I'd like to apologize. I was uh... not... in my right mind and took it out on... everyone else. And myself. So... sorry. There's a couple of you who could use a more personal apology later, so... I'll do that when we get time in private."

If. If they did, of course. Who knew who was going to die from this at present, anyway?

"Thanks for the update on the favours, by the way. And the info about the key. Lemme just..."

Inhale. Exhale.

"Woke up a bit before six this morning like usual. Kenshin was still dead asleep, dunno if he even woke up when I got up. After changing I got to the eatery and saw Erisu in there, and uh.... we kinda minded our own business for better or worse. She left around 6:30. Once she was gone and couldn't stop me-- once again I fuckin' apologize for this shit-- I grabbed a six-pack of beer and went into the hidden room at 6:43 AM. I did see Erik A on the way, looking like he came from one of the offices. I didn't see which though." "Once I made it to the mattress room I bingedrank for a bit. The cans in there were mine, but those colorful sheets from the mattress room were already gone by the time I got there. Didn't see Erik A carryin' 'em so I doubt it was him, but they had to have been yoinked sometime before 6:45, I guess."

Byrne shook his head lightly with a sigh, half-expecting someone to accuse him of misremembering things in his drunken haze. It was impossible to hide that he'd been toasted, thanks to Adrik, so.

"Moved to Office G at 9:30, and Adrik and Erik A snagged me for discovery around then. Not much else to say."

He wasn't sure if any of that would be helpful to much of anyone, though.

Mmmm... though Kenshin was actually dropping some information and theories here, as were the others. On the other hand, Byrne felt like he didn't have much to offer. He squinted for a moment.

"I guess... 'crafty' is one way to describe it. Probably smart, too, since the diagram was pretty detailed. I'm not too sure what all of that meant even if I got the concept. Pull the rope and let go so it fell and gravity did the rest, yeah? So it was a uh.... trap you'd need to have the activator person present for at the right moment. Which I guess was AION."

Byrne thought for another moment. What else to say....?

"I also noticed that from the door, you could see the aisle Erika L died in directly, but you didn't have a view of the aisle to the left of it really. Or at least... not as far down as what the wheel was over, if that's worth anything."

[writer-updates]

Sebastian Knight

Chapter 34 - Sebestian

I was in my office at my local warehouse. As a new shipment of what I ordered had arrived, barrels over 1000 black oil which contained guns. Black oil keeps them hidden from inspections, and random drop ins. He couldn't risk it now with this new detective.

I was furious with my men as they allowed Tamara to get close to this warehouse almost destroying everything until Deigo came. He gave her one hell of a beating before leaving. Liliana was sitting on a leather chair, next to me. Her eyes were half closed as she was tired.

Liliana didn't want to be alone, I couldn't blame her because I didn't want her to be alone either. I knew this pregnancy was going to be rough on her, her first and carrying twins. She was the reason I am keeping on fighting and wanting to harm those who try to harm her.

"Jefe (boss)," William spoke as he stood outside the office.

Looking up from the paperwork. "What? William?" I asked as I ran a hand through my hair. Not wanting anything else to go wrong.

William didn't say anything for a few seconds before he took a deep breath. This can't be good. "It seems Tamara has also alerted the local detective, about this warehouse."

A low grunt left my throat, staring hard at William. I couldn't believe what I had heard. Actually I could believe it. Tamara will do anything to destroy me, anything to make her father Alexender the best. Even if that means taking me down.

I couldn't give her the chance, my fist punched the table, causing both William and Liliana to jump. Biting my lip as I knew I had awoke Liliana up from her quick nap. She let out a whine.

"When are they coming? The detective."

William looked at the tablet he was holding in his hand, "From our source at the police station, it seems they are planning to seige this warehouse in a few days."

I sighed hard as I ran my hand through my hair, "Of course." Looking at William. "Do we know this detectives name?"

William handed me tbe tablet, giving me a look at the detective who would be handling this. Detective Franco Allen. Of course it was him. The man that questioned Liliana after she almost died.

"His name is Franco Allen. He has just moved from Chicago to New York. He has taken down the Chicago mafia boss James Sattorn. He is known to use different forms of interaction to get whatever he needs from them," William replied.

"Torture?"

"Yes, that's how James Sattorn was caught because he had tortured 50 of his men before someone broke. He won't give up." William looked at me. "What are we going to do?"

Shaking my head, I pinched between my eyebrows. "All we can do for now, is move warehouses. We are lucky to have so many around the city. Yes this is our biggest but I've planned for this just in case. We will start moving everything we can. Whatever we can't move within a day we will burn."

William nodded, grabbing the tablet back.

"We must lay low with this information we have a little insight, we can't risk anyone getting hurt especially Liliana."

"Yes Jefe."

Hearing a knock on the door, I looked up, "Come in."

Deigo stepped in a moment later. "She escaped. He managed to trick one of our men and she got away. Even after I had given her a beating."

"Mierda!" I punched the wall that was on my right as hard as I could. Feeling pain shoot through my hand, ignoring the pain. "Find her! Bring her to me. Dead or alive I don't care. We must burn this warehouse down. Deigo alerting Jamerson that we need him to douse it with gasoline before burning it to the ground."

Deigo nodded and immediately rang Jamerson, he was my arsonist. We rarely used him, but now we have to. To burn everything. Leaving nothing behind.

"William! Alert those working here that they will be moving to a different location in the next few days when I sort something out." This is perfect. Just perfect.

Lucky I had a few warehouses across New York and Chile that still had inventory. Not as much as this one, but enough to keep us from falling apart. We can't let this set us back.

****

It was just before Midnight. Liliana crawlled into our bed. She is restless, but finally falls into a fitful sleep. I was hoping to help her with the restlessness she was feeling right now. From the depths of darkness my touch draws her up. First, its my breath on her neck.

Then my hands cupping her breasts. Soon she is awake enough to feel the warm pressure of my body molded into hers from behind. Liliana pushed back against my body.

Loving the feel of my body pressed against hers, my hands were all over her, searching and romancing. Liliana felt my shaft grow hard, pressing into her back. Nestling between her lovely ass cheeks.

Liliana wiggled a little, feeling my hardness, causing me to groan, pulling her ling silken hair up, my lips pressed against the back of her neck, sending chills down her spine. Like I always did.

Liliana's nipples instantly jump to attention, without thinking, she cupped her breasts with her free hands, feeling the hard little points of her nipples in her palms.

"Touch them bebè."

Liliana whimpered as she began to message them herself. Laying my hand over hers, I loved when she touched her own body. Knowing I can control her with just words. Nibbling on her ear lobe, tugging, biting and kissing them. My fingers trail down her pregnant belly, lighting a fire in her body where ever I touched.

I could feel the kicks of the twins against my hand causing me to smile a little. My fingers finally made it to her wet pussy, smirking to myself knowing she was already wet for me. Dipping my finger inside her lips, testing the wetness that I could feel. A slight moan escaped her lips.

Smirking, I took my finger out causing her to moan. I brought my finger to her lips and pressed them against her plump lips. She took my fingers without a word, eagerly she sucks at her own juice. She sucks in air and once again tightens up. She pulls away from me slightly. I moved with her. Pushing gently but steadily. Inch after inch of my cock is surrounded by her tight little ass. My shaft disappearing into that place, and it is almost too much for me.

Her heart was pounding. Liliana reached down between her legs, into her soaking wet spot. Her juices are smeared on her inner thighs. Reaching for her clit, she squeezes it between her thumb and forefinger. Fire shoots through her and she jerks backwards. Taking the rest of my shaft deep inside. We both gasp. I began to slowly start pumping in and out of her, my large hands massaging her firm breasts. Her own hands are slick with her wetness.

She pressed against her clit…constant pressure on that swollen little knob. The fingers of her other hand pumping in and out of her tunnel. She can feel my cock…..my steady rhythm and she matching her fingers to my insistent pulsing.

With every new thrust she pushs back against me…meeting my cock, welcoming it, wanting it. This pleasure is different from anything before. The all-consuming fire spreads through her body and erupts as her orgasm comes crashing over her. I felt her shudder and the telltale tightening and it is too much for me.

Grabbing her by the hips, I gently pull her up onto all fours, not taking my shaft out of her and making sure she was comfortable. Pounding into her, grunting and gasping for air. I repeatedly pulled her hips on to my cock. Burying it deep so very deep. At last my cum explodes into her body. Liliana's ass muscles milking me, sucking me dry.

[hanasnx]

❝ fantasizing. ❞

── tcw!anakin skywalker x reader

MINORS DNI 18+ WORD COUNT: 4k SUMMARY: seeing you cozied up with general skywalker caused the clones to talk about what they’d do to you if you were theirs. anakin stands by and listens, smug that he’s allowed to do anything he wants to you, and his battalion can only fantasize about it. NOTES: there are two versions of this fic! one in 3rd pov and this one in 2nd. i wrote both cos i know ppl have preferences; also i had to make up clone names bcos i didn’t want to use any existing clone names and risk mischaracterization. specifically written for the clone wars' characterization of anakin. WARNINGS: dead dove do not eat, f!reader, established fwb relationship, lowkey clone slander, clones speaking about a woman sexually that theyre not involved with sexually, lowkey unedited, anakin skywalker having a filthy mouth with his clones, dirty foul mouthed vile delicious “locker room talk” towards love interest, clones bet whether or not general skywalker bangs love interest, ooc anakin, ooc clones, speaking explicitly and sexually about someone behind their back, also explicit content if that wasn’t already clear

“I’ve got something for you,”

You had come here to exercise, but all you had done so far was play on your holo-tablet to find the right music for the occasion for ten minutes. You looked up at the sound of the voice, straightening your back when you realized who it was.

“General Skywalker,” you addressed ANAKIN SKYWALKER properly, since you were in public. From his attire, you guessed he was fitting this visit in between meetings. With a wave of his hand and a soft smile, he dismissed the title.

“Look,” His hand came out from behind his back, a long, wide blade revealed. “Don’t have much time, but this,” he lifted it into to eyeline, twirling it by its hilt in his grip, the overhead lights glinting off of it. “is a vibroblade.” He met your gaze, brow raised, proud of himself for acquiring it.

“It’s for me?” you asked, setting your tablet aside to stand, approaching him. He hummed in confirmation. For safety, he downturned the blade, handing it to you by the hilt. It was a fine sword, but you were confused, knitting your eyebrows together as you tested the weight of it in your hand. You glanced between him and the weapon questioningly. “Thanks, but I don’t usually… use stuff like this. Knives are more my speed this feels very…” you raised the sword, in a way you thought a pirate would, “‘swashbuckle-y.’” You dropped your arm. Anakin scoffed.

“You’ve been here a while, and we’ve run into plenty of siths by now. Figured it was high time to get you something to defend yourself with in close quarters.” He pointed a finger onto the weapon as he explained, “Watch,” His large hand came to fix atop yours on the hilt, and you inhaled. Your reaction went unnoticed as he brought his saber over, igniting it. The blades of both met each other, and you witnessed how the lightsaber didn’t cut through the vibroblade. “If things get hairy, and there’s no escape, you’ve got a backup plan.” They were hard to come across, Anakin was lucky to have this one, and he was relieved to be able to give it to you, smiling down at you expectantly for your answer.

You broke out of your impressed stupor. It was a thoughtful gift. The fact that you were untrained with a sword of this size stopped you from expressing your full gratitude. That, and the warmth of his hand was still on yours.

This fitness center was made out of a repurposed hangar so it was cavernous, with expansive floor space. It had the usual: weights, punching bags, a closed off shooting range, etc. There was a lot of unused area, and spare supplies would often be dropped off. A ways away, a few clones had escorted boxes of dry rations on a hoverboard, unloading it here until it was time to relocate it if there was room in the mess hall kitchen. Ko, a clone officer, sat a box down, before taking notice of a familiar head of hair across the room. “Hey, men,” he said through a grin, “is that General Skywalker over there with (y/n)?” His comment caught the attentions of his fellow soldiers, halting what they were doing to spy.

“Ha! Skywalker,” Dice laughed, assumptions forming as to what their General was up to, “You don’t think he’s trying to butter her up, do you?”

“C’mon, guys,” Stringbean huffed, “I wanna get this over with.”

“Look, ‘Bean, they’re basically holding hands.” Copper pointed out, leaning against the cargo behind him and lulling his head in Stringbean’s direction. “Who’s gonna win the bet if we don’t pay attention?”

“Maybe making a bet about whether or not General Skywalker— a Jedi— is trying to get close to (y/n)—“

“Ah, ah, ah!” Dice wagged his finger at Stringbean, correcting him, “Whether or not they fuck, ‘Bean.”

“Well, how are we supposed to tell?”

“By watching.” Ko hissed, warning them to hush up and pay attention to the pair over on the sparring mat.

You bit your lip, meeting Anakin’s gaze who was unfaltering in his eye and physical contact. “I don’t know how to use a sword.” you admitted, your tone coming out meaner than you meant to, saying it like it should be obvious to him.

Anakin didn’t seem to notice it, “Here,” instead rounding your body to stand behind you. “I’ll show you.” Directing both of your hands onto the hilt, replacing both of his hands atop yours. He was such a wide shouldered man. That, and by doing this he curled and enveloped you almost completely. You swallowed thickly, letting him move you. There was no way that you didn’t note how strong he felt, how tall and toned with thick muscle he was. His rigid chest against your back, his flexed arms pressing into yours, his chin hovering over your shoulder, cheek against your hair— you felt dizzy with excitement. No doubt you’d ask for his help in relief later when it was time for ‘lights out’. You had a sneaking suspicion he knew exactly what he was doing to you.

He changed your positioning effortlessly, angling the blade to the imaginary opponent, “You’ll block like this. Center yourself,” Impossible to center yourself without thinking about shoving his cock into your center over and over— “When you attack, you’ll come down like this,” He raised your arms, bringing the sword down slowly, with purpose. When he stepped forward, his hips pressed into yours, and you stepped forward, not before feeling something familiar and half hard poking into you. A tingle traveled down your spine and you smirked. “If you can afford leaving yourself open, you can thrust,” Another step forward, and he shoved the blade into the air in front of them. You hadn’t been listening at all— mind occupied with General Skywalker’s perfect body pressed up against yours, fitting together like puzzle pieces— but you perked up when he mentioned thrusting. You can very much afford to leave yourself open right now, if only he had the time to properly reintroduce himself to the space between your legs. Overwhelmed, a deep blush bloomed onto your cheeks and ears.

A mischievous smile stretched out onto Copper’s lips, “Mates, is it just me or she turning red with ol’ Skywalker over there?”

Stringbean, forgetting his past protests at the notion he could be losing the bet, leaned forward, “No way,”

Dice rubbed his chin with his hand, “That she is, Copp, this is too good.”

“I’ve never seen her blush before,” Copper muttered, unable to deduce if it meant the General was making you uncomfortable, or you were attracted. You weren't pulling away at all.

“Oh, to be in his position,” Ko chuckled, the General had to be enjoying himself. Any of them would if they switched places.

You cocked your head to look at Anakin, who’s gaze lingered on yours. He stepped away, his warmth leaving you when he detached, clearing his throat. “I’ll be sure to give you more formal lessons on it another time.” You hoped he would, turning to face him with a hand on your hip. “Obi Wan and I have already agreed to switch off sparring you. You should get experience with different fighting styles.” Beginning to walk backwards off the mat, “It won’t be easy! We’re gonna fight dirty, like a sith would. Okay? I’ve gotta go, I’ll see you around,” he said, pointing to you, voice growing in volume as he furthered from you.

You nodded at him with a knowing grin, shaking your head from his ramble. “Bye, bye, Skywalker,” You gave him a flirty wave as he dismissed himself. He faced forward, and the spying clones pretended to be busy.

“Officers,” Anakin nodded at them in acknowledgment as he walked past, “I’ll see you guys later for deployment?”

Ko nodded back, saluting, “‘Course, General.”

Dice managed to slow Anakin’s stride, unloading the last bit of cargo and leaning his hand on it, “Oi, Skywalker, I saw you getting all up close and personal with (y/n) over there. Seemed cozy.” It was his special interest in poking at things his fellow soldiers thought it best to leave alone. Especially because they didn’t want their commanding officer to know they’d been spying on him.

Anakin didn’t think anything of it, expecting observation in a public area, especially when (y/n) was involved. “Just showing her some moves, that’s all.” he answered innocently, moving on to get ready for his next mission.

The men’s heads followed him as he scampered off. This was all too fishy. Copper hummed lowly, “Oh, he showed her a couple of moves, alright.” Stringbean hit his shoulder with the back of his hand playfully.

“We don’t know that yet.”

Ko scoffed, “He’s trying to move in on her.” He was certain.

None of them knew he had already moved in on you, countless times.

Their deployment was within the hour. Tasked with bringing aid to a neutral planet in order to secure their alliance with the Republic. The troops expected a resistance from the opposers, which didn’t bode well for their moods. There always was a hill to climb in order to reach victory, it was the hill that proved fatal for some. The clone troops were prepared to lay down their life for their cause, but they preferred not to focus on the possible tragedy awaiting them. Instead, they sought distractions. Distractions that made them feel normal, like there wasn’t a war occurring, that they weren’t waddling in the trenches of it.

This squad (who affectionately referred to themselves as the “Groundhog” squadron) swapped stories, knowing this would be a long ride in a shuttle, having entered the atmosphere of the planet. Their helmets in their hands or underneath their arms, seemingly reminding everyone how human they were. The conversation served its purpose, taking the men’s weight off. Anakin leaned onto the wall of the shuttle, eyes closed as he attempted a crude form of meditation. Jokes were cracked when they got onto the subject of what they’d do after the war, but nobody pointed out it was wishful thinking. Having a lover, or a wife, was a common fantasy amongst the group.

Stringbean hopped up to sit on some armory cargo, resting his blaster on safety beside him. “Maker to think…” he voices his thought aloud, picking up his leg so he can rest his elbow on his knee, shaking his head with a soft smile. “Having a plot of land to myself. A family. That’d be the life.”

Copper piped up, “I don’t even care about the family part, ‘Bean, sign me up for a wife.” It made the other clones chuckle with him.

“Ah, a wife…” Ko sighed in content from the idea, fixing his back against the cargo and resting his head back. “… beautiful woman, got a good head on her shoulders, capable, resilient. Sharing a home with her would be the dream.” Imagining it, his fantasized wife, and (y/n)’s face surfaced in his mind. It didn’t necessarily surprise him. Visualizing you offer him a meat pie you prepared for him was doing something to him.

Dice snickered, “It’s been a while since you troops’ve been laid.” Anakin smirked to himself. He shouldn’t be eavesdropping but he couldn’t help it when he felt so proud to have gotten some this morning. The officers didn’t take notice, continuing their conversation. Dice copied Stringbean, jumping up onto a box to sit, but crossed his arms. “Hell,” he scoffed, “it’s been a while since I’ve gotten laid,”

“Well there’s slim pickin’s in our line of work, Dice, don’t go feelin’ sorry for yourself.” Copper patted him firmly on the shoulder, and Dice nodded knowingly, elbowing him back.

“Let’s see,” Ko started counting on his fingers, “there’s a bunch of Jedi,”

“Bunch’a prudes, more like. No offense, General,” Dice chimed in. Anakin waved his hand dismissively, downturning his lips, knowing he was probably the only one in this battalion getting any tail.

“None taken,” The Jedi insisted, without breaking his meditation.

“But it’s not like we’re not a ‘bunch’a prudes’ ourselves,” Stringbean interjected, outstretching his hands in a defensive gesture, and it earns him a laugh from the squad.

“I hear that.”

Anakin shook his head with a smile, unable to steel himself from listening in.

“Alright, so we’ve got the prudish Jedi, our fellow Clone brothers, and…” A smirk stretched out onto Copper’s lips as he finished the sentence Stringbean started, “(y/n),”

A chorus sounded of groans, chuckles, sighs, filthy comments amongst the troop… You were a popular subject revisited yet again by the squadron. Anakin peeked open an eye, observing his soldiers’ reactions to his informant-turned-commander, who begs for his cock almost every night.

“Don’t get me started on (y/n),”

“The things I’d let her do to me,”

“Oh, the things I’d do to her if she’d let me,” A clone responded with a dark snicker.

“It’s like she doesn’t even know she drives me crazy.”

“Oi, you’re not the only one, mate.”

Anakin closed his eye before someone caught him spying. It was best to stay as far removed as possible.

“Stringbean, go back to that farm fantasy of yours.” The men wanted to hear it again, and Stringbean added a revision.

“Like I said, just a plot of land to myself.” ‘Bean gazed at the ceiling, visualizing his regaled tale in his mind’s eye. “(y/n) as my spoil of war,” These touch starved army men exhaling at the wording made Anakin scoff silently through his nose. War deranged men, showed their true, darker selves, and the Jedi witnessed it firsthand. Experienced it himself. The urge to step in rose in Anakin’s chest, but he denied it. He wanted to hear what these depraved creatures really thought of his lover. As if imagining it themselves, the boys followed Stringbean’s example and looked to the ceiling. “We’ve got two kids: a boy and a girl. (y/n) and I share yard work, and at the end of the day, cook dinner together—“

“Oi, get to the good part!” Dice jeered, and some men snickered.

“Okay, okay,” Stringbean grinned sheepishly, motioning with his hands to settle down. It seemed his fantasy was seeping into Anakin as well. “After dinner— kids asleep— we start cleaning up. She’s doing dishes, I’m clearing the table. I get a look of her in that apron,” Some guys suck in a breath. Anakin cocked his head, furrowed his brows, and exhaled through his pursed lips at the image of you in a little apron and nothing else. “Can’t help myself. Come up behind her, start fondling her. Then I nail her on the kitchen table.”

“Stringbean, you dog!” A clone shouted, and the troopers began weakly beating on him, tossing their helmets at ‘Bean while he grinned and flinched, knowing he deserved it. Being the first one to spell out a dirty fantasy meant facing certain scrutiny.

Once they had settled down, Copper wanted to share, outstretching his arms to gesture the men to quiet. “Alright, alright, that reminds me, lads.” he introduced, dropping his arms once he’d gotten everyone’s attention. “There was one day I got ahead of myself in training, (y/n) was there. Picked me up, dusted me off, brought me down to the medical bay. That night?” He raised a brow, cupping his chin in his hand, “I had the filthiest dream about her.” Being watched with bated breaths, he wasn’t sure if he should even tell this story.

“Well, don’t keep us in suspense.” A clone told him incredulously, but it was all in good fun.

Copper went on, “I dreamt she snuck into my room, told me she couldn’t stay away from me. She couldn’t keep her hands to herself, kept palming me through my pants.”

Anakin recalled an exact moment when you told him the same thing, did the same thing to him when he was recovering in the medical bay. He knit his eyebrows together, biting his lip to keep from saying anything.

“Got excited. She took care of me, sucked on me a bit, mounted and rode me ‘til I had nothing left. Fat tits bouncing. I’m surprised I contained myself while I was sleepin’.” Copper finished, leaning his elbow against the cargo.

Dice dissolved into laughter, pointing to Copper and looking amongst the group, “Mate says he’s surprised he didn’t jizz himself like a teenager,” The group followed Dice’s suit, laughing, including Copper.

Anakin felt himself perspire because he was stuck on the imagery of your “fat tits bouncing”. He swallowed thickly.

“Oi, the body on that broad, eh?” Dice reminisced, “Went to the fitness center and she was there. Had on a little bra, barely strapped in that chest of hers,” He cupped the air around his chest comically, he bounced his hands, causing a few snickers. “She didn’t notice me practically drooling like a hound. She’s glistening with sweat. Hair sticking to her forehead and neck. She’s jumping rope and I can’t tear my eyes away… the tightest yoga pants I’ve ever seen, if she bent over bet I could see her pretty little hole. The woman’s gotta know what she’s doing to us,”

Anakin, like the rest of these sleazy soldiers, was visualizing the whole damn thing. Except he knows he tore apart those yoga pants as soon as he saw you bent over in front of him. Of course you were pissed at him for it, but knowing now all these filthy perverts were waiting for the day you’d wear ‘em? He was glad he did it. Put them to one last good use getting you nice and wet for his cock. To hide his guilt, he rested his hand over his face.

“Hourglass figure, wit as sharp as a tack, looks that could kill, I wish she’d get over that crush she’s got already and get with a real man.” A clone added and an intrigued smile broke out onto Anakin’s lips, concealed by his hand.

“A crush? No way,”

“Say it ain’t so,”

“It’s obvious! A woman like that hasn’t hopped on anyone’s dick since she got here— and we’re all strapping young men— I’m tellin’ ya, girl’s hung up.”

“I could make her forget him. Gimme one night with her, she’ll forget he even existed.”

Anakin scoffed. That was highly doubtful.

“What about you, Ko? What do you think of (y/n)?”

“What’s to say that hasn’t already been said?” Ko shrugged, but the encouragement from his squad changed his mind. “I just wanna stick my dick in that cleavage. C’mon, you all have seen it. She displays it like she wants attention,” he spoke defensively, as if he had a case to defend, “Wonder if she likes being called a slut.”

You do. Anakin thought about you with a smile.

“Wonder if she is a slut.” Dice leaned back against the cargo with a wolfish grin.

You are. Anakin thought about you in response once more, smile widening.

Anakin wrestled with himself. On one hand, he could join the conversation, bond with these disgusting depraved men and their dark fantasies, or stay indifferent and detached. He knew that war changed people, and this was an outlet. They weren’t interested in taking advantage of someone when they were bred to be docile and trained to protect the innocent. You were particularly extroverted, and a bit of a tease— he had learned that first hand. Your flirtatious speech was smooth and confident, and you moved in an aesthetically poised manner, Anakin found you beautiful no matter what you did. Unashamed to admit he’s gotten stiff watching you fight alongside him on the battlefield. No wonder your image fell victim to this merry band of neglected soldiers. Attractive and available, so you had become a relatable object of fantasy. A prize to focus on to get through tough times, to get through the possibility of dying tomorrow. Never in a million years would he justify it, but he could understand it. Especially because he could hear his praise of you through the voices of these men. He could sense their intent. None of them would cause you physical harm. Briefly, he pondered if you sired these feelings in them on purpose, knowing the gross comments they made with each other when they were alone. An image of you getting off to it flashed in Anakin’s mind. It wasn’t far off from your personality to pleasure yourself to the idea of power.

“Oi, awfully quiet back there, eh, Skywalker?” Dice called, and Anakin looked at him. “We didn’t scare you or nothin’, did we?” On the contrary.

“No, just listening.” The Jedi replied nonchalantly, crossing his arms and legs as he settled against the hull wall.

Dice wanted to ask if Jedi had dirty thoughts too, but he didn’t want to shatter the illusion that Anakin was one of them— human— if he answered no. Sometimes they liked to pretend Anakin was not a peacekeeper, did not adhere to an oath, in a way Anakin liked to pretend that too.

“You ever get off to the thought of (y/n), General Skywalker?” Stringbean blurted out, breaking the silence. Immediately, the platoon scolded him playfully.

Anakin pinched his chin, “(y/n), you say?” Yes, he had. Yes, indeed, he had. More than he cared to admit. More than he thought a Jedi ever should. “Oh! You mean Commander (l/n),” He pushed off the wall, leisurely striding to the center of the group. His inflated ego had gotten to him, having completely overshadowed his more jealous traits ages ago. His tone and correction of your title made his squad nervous, and they watched with bated breath. They questioned if he was cross with them.

“I wouldn’t say,” Anakin started, a mischievous glint in his eye. He folded his arms behind his back, pacing as he noticed their worried looks. Maker, he wished he could tell them, witness their reactions when he tells them he’s been banging the “broad” they fantasize their filthy little minds about when they’re alone. His head was so big it was a mystery how it fit into the hull of this ship.

“We know you’ve got a little soft spot for her, sir, it’s obvious.” Copper ached to break the tension, and he desperately moved it into the direction necessary for him to win the bet. “We’ve all got one.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about…” The clones averted their gazes from the Jedi once he spoke, shuffling nervously in place. “but Maker, if I were simply a man, I’d do whatever it took to make her mine.”

Grins broke out on their faces at the fact Anakin played a trick on them, and some cheered their agreement with his case.

“Isn’t she other-worldly?”

“Extremely.” Anakin replied.

“She makes it so hard—“

“Maker, don’t I know it…” Anakin mused, reminiscing how hard you make his cock rather than what the clone was referring to.

“Has she ever hit on you, sir?”

“Oh, all the time. She’s shameless.” And Anakin meant shameless. Downright blasphemous, the words that would come out of that pretty mouth of yours.

“Easy?” One clone asked with hope.

Anakin gave him a look. “It wouldn’t be a problem for me either way.” he responded smugly, acting out the role of the indifferent Jedi who’s confident he could get you if he really wanted to.

His battalion went wild over the fact their leader is in on their little crush. Like they brought him down to their hellish level, innocent from the knowledge Anakin has put the body they covet the most in every position and every location. Painted you with his cum countless times. Has witnessed your pleading gaze and expression twisted in pleasure when he hit that perfect spot inside of you.

General Skywalker rode on that ego high, “Gentlemen, nothing quite like comin’ home from a battle, and (y/n) greeting you with open arms, open legs, and an open mouth.” He stood in the middle while his clones cheered thinking about that imagery, thinking their general is merely joining the conversation, and making it all up.

To keep the charade going, to find out more about how Anakin really felt about you, Ko yelled out, “Skywalker!” Anakin hummed in response. “Fuck, marry, kill: (y/n), Master Luminara, and that cute Pantoran Senator Chuchi,”

At the mention, the other clones joined into the game, muttering their answers in a big jumble. Anakin waited his turn to speak, “C’mon,”

“Don’t be like that, it’s just a game.” Ko assured, moving to sit at the edge of the cargo.

“Alright, alright. Let me think. Okay, one’s easy: Marry (y/n). Make her my little trophy wife.”

Like a pack of hyenas, they chittered with laughter.

“Sir? You wouldn’t wanna just ’fuck’?” The question was asked to serve a purpose, to nail in the bet.

“Why would I want to fuck once, when we’re hitched I get to fuck always?” Anakin answered. Once the hollering died down, he added. “Doesn’t matter the time of day. She shouldn’t be walking around with an ass like that if she didn’t want it split open twenty-four-seven.”

[sips-tea-cutely]

“I’m getting on the bus to the other world, see ‘ya!”

“What value is there to a life that wants to end? ‘That must suck.’ ‘I get it.’ Don't act as if you understand! In the end, after a few years, I'll still be suffering. So stab me, kill me, and take me away.

This is the only thing I thought to do, my first and final struggle in vain...”

a/n: basically just an emotional diary cause dazai’s the only thing my insane mind cam conjure up (cw: suicide duhh, overdosing, mentally ill pwp, im romanticizing my ideal partner)

dazai is so tired. acting as if being insulted constantly and getting bashed isn’t anything at all for the ‘second-most esteemed detective of the agency’ or the ‘mafia demon prodigy’.

“you know i’m human too, right, chūya?”

why could no one acknowledge how much he needs love, any kind of love— a miserable rope ties around his heart, pulling on it tighter every single second of every day. does no one truly care for him?

ahaha! how funny— to believe that someone really cared for him? with all of the wrongdoings he has committed and not to mention how utterly inhumane he looks. that could not possibly be him, right?

someone with such a dreaded mind and a pessimistic view could not possibly look like him, no, it must not!

the people he calls his allies are merely lying, of course! kunikida wouldn’t care at all if one day he had just dropped dead, in fact, he would probably sigh from overjoy that the annoyance known as osamu dazai has left the living world— chūya has always despised his partner in crime, he’d probably do the same thing that he had done when dazai left the mafia, open some expensive wine and celebrate the death of the maniac.

why has he continued living? the goal entrusted to him by his departed friend has started to stray from his mind; why must morals divide what is good and bad? why is it a so-called sin to kill yourself? what good is a life that has no aspiration of living if it’ll die anyways?

as he sits in his dorm room, empty bottles of sake and soju are all over any surface he was able to find, he lies in his futon, clothes and bandages soiled from sweat and tears.

he stares at the bottle of anti-depressants mori had given him four years ago.

“here, dazai. perhaps this will cure your burdens.”

what shitty advice. it was blatantly obvious that mori had only wanted him to live as his little mind toy, someone he could play with until it broke and he got bored.

opening the bottle, he shook around, looking at the ivory white tablets. “haah, fearing death— how silly of me.” he laughed to himself.

throwing each tab into his mouth, he watered it down with the little bit of sake left in his bottle.

slowly, his vision started to blur as his head became lightheaded. the heartbeat that dazai had normally been able to control started beating out of his chest— as if the tight rope around it had torn and burst from the sudden highs of dosulepin.

‘i’m sorry, odasaku. i could not keep my promise to you.”

white, the alcoholic scent of disinfectants, the flow of IV through his wrist, could this be doctor yosano’s office? no, yosano is definitely somewhere here but it’s not her office.

he’s in a hospital, and he’s still alive. lost in his own thoughts, dazai didn’t even hear yosano walk in.

“dazai, you’re awake. glad to know, s/o was worried sick when they found you in your dorm.” she explained, of course it was you who had brought him. although the both of you were often busy with your jobs, you still fawned over him and sent him endearing texts throughout the day— to let him know you cared.

he couldn’t believe it though. he truly believed everything you have told to him was a complete and utter lie. you were probably laughing about him in private, that’s the only way he could stay sane in his cruel version of reality anyways.

“i feel like i already know the answer but— why would you do this?” she sighed. “when s/o had found you, you were trembling and your heart was going over 80 beats per minute.” she said, reading through her diagnostic charts.

“isn’t it obvious, doctor yosano? i wanted to die. that’s all.” he said meekly (as meekly as someone outspoken like him could). obviously annoyed with his ideation for death, yosano had walked off into the waiting room, where you were waiting.

how shall he explain something such as this? you hated every self deprecating joke he had made, you hated how he had lied and deceived even people who trust him with their life, because you are the only one he has let know he is a fraud to humanity.

what would you say? something as idiotic as ‘i understand that the pain you’re going through is unbearable but—‘? haha, how hopeless that would be, wouldn’t it?

snapping out of his thoughts, your hand rests on the bed he’s sitting in. he didn’t even notice you walk in, the drugs must have done some sort of number on him, ahaha!

what will you say? why won’t you say anything? for once, dazai is scared. the painfully agonizing silence is the only thing that fills the bright room as he predicts your words.

will you break up with him? it wouldn’t be a surprise, dealing with someone as ‘sensitive’ (as mori would put it) would get annoying eventually.

“i hope you know i’m here for you, osamu.”

“what?” he responded. you’re here for him? …

“i’m just saying if you need someone to help you when you’re overwhelmed by your emotions, ill be here for you. i get that you don’t want someone to say ‘you’ll be okay’ when you probably aren’t. i’ll be here for when you’re exhausted, i don’t want you to die soon.”

the long rope clenched around his heart once more. this time it wasn’t from depression like it has been for years, it was from endearment, panic, adoration, love. osamu dazai loved you.

you weren’t able to instantaneously fill the hallow hole in his heart but slowly, you’d help him fix it and replace it with memories of you and him.

you could not fix his ideals but, you could make him stay— just one last time, and another, and another until he has spent so many nights he has almost completely forgotten of his grievances.

dazai was tired. but with you in his life, his burdens have felt just a little bit lighter. and he couldn’t really kill himself now and leave his light all alone, could he?

[lucifer-is-a-bag-of-dicks]

what happened the first time Wes tried to crack open the Danny is Phantom conspiracy did he like, confront Danny first or was it all behind his back like, maybe hoping ground zero would be lost among the gossip and that Danny wouldn't find out who spilled the beans once everyone knew

I mean it obviously wouldn't work because nobody believed him and the gossip didn't take off very far beyond a few people talking about Wes being kinda weird

I should absolutely write a fic about this.

I am absolutely going to write a fic about this.

I AM RIGHT NOW GOING TO WRITE A FIC ABOUT THIS.

----

"Hey Fenton! Fenton!!" Dash came bounding over and threw a meaty arm around his shoulder.

"Jesus Dash! What?!" Danny buckled under the weight (pretended to anyway) as Dash gave him a surprisingly lighthearted punch on the arm.

"You haven't heard?! Wes has this total batshit insane theory, it's hilarious!"

Dash was in a genuine giggle-fit, Danny didn't think he'd ever seen him this merry, he was also starting to suspect he was going to leave this conversation being the butt of the joke somehow. Wait-

"Wes? Who the heck is Wes?" Danny asked, it wasn't like he knew everyone in school, like Dash seemed to.

"He's on the basketball team, you know, tall guy, red hair, threw a sick move at least month's game! You know, WES!"

"I didn't watch that game."

"Oh," said Dash, flatly, "Oh yeah, almost forgot you're a total nerd. Anyway, like I was saying!"

Dash grabbed Danny by the shoulders and nearly lifted him off the floor.

"Wes thinks," he could barely speak through his giggling, he even snorted a few times, "Wes thinks your secretly PHANTOM."

Dash dropped Danny back down as he doubled over laughing.

"Could you imagine?! You! You're not even DEAD!" Dash honest to god slapped his knee in mirth.

Danny went through an incredibly swift array of emotions in the span of about five seconds.

The first was fear, clear and bracing, then came confusion, how did he know? Had he seen something? Then there was hope, Dash didn't believe it, and if DASH didn't believe it, maybe nobody else believed it either. Then relief, he could roll with this, he could TOTALLY roll with this! Dash was right! It was absurd, it was ridiculous, it was hilarious, him being Phantom? What utter nonsense!

Sam and Tucker had been standing by his side at a Dash-safe distance, looking absolutely horrified. Sam looked ready to jump in and lay down a swift defence, but Danny gave a quick little low wave for her to stand down. He got this.

"Oh my god SERIOUSLY?" Danny busted out a slightly hysterical laugh, okay so he wasn't completely over the initial terrified anxiety.

"How could I- I mean what- WHY does he think I'M Phantom?! I mean how does that even work I don't-"

Dash clapped him on the shoulder, this was probably the most contact he'd ever had with him without being physically assaulted.

"I know right?! Like apparently he thinks you look alike? And he's all like 'But I've seen his eyes glow green' and 'they're never in the same roo-hoo-hoom." Dash wheezed and started hacking and coughing.

Danny carefully constructed a look of offence.

"Hey I mean, it's not THAT funny. Why couldn't I be Phantom! I know how to use a Fenton Thermos! Look I even HAVE one right-" he torn open his backpack and pulled one out, making sure to fumble it in a terrific display of fuck-uppery and drop it noisily on the cafeteria floor, he dropped to his knees trying to grab it but knocked it under a table.

A few girls standing nearby who'd been listening in started tittering, one of the guys sitting at the table snorted milk through his nose and Dash was just about on the floor in hysterics.

Even Sam and Tucker covered their mouths in an attempt to look like they were holding in laughter. Tucker muttered to Sam, just loud enough for people around to hear.

"I mean, he's our friend and we love him, but god that was painful to watch. He knows he's terrible at ghost hunting! He's got like, nothing but thumbs."

Danny climbed under the table, grabbed at the thermos and lifted it up as he crawled back out.

"See! See! I have a thermos! I could TOTALLY be Phantom!"

Sam walked over and placed a gentle hand on his shoulder. "It's okay bud, I think you'd be a great Phantom." her voice was thick with her usual sarcasm, soaked in pity though it were.

Danny's ears burned in embarrassment, he might have been humiliating himself on purpose, but it was still humiliating, watching everyone laugh at him for being so weak and incompetent. He was grateful to his friends for pushing through their discomfort and keeping up the act, it was still painful, but it came with a wash of pure unadulterated relief.

Nobody believed this Wes guy, nobody thought it could be even remotely possible. People would talk about it for a little while, have a laugh, maybe there would be a few memes and in-jokes, but eventually it would drop off. People would forget all about it and it would be just another notch on the gossip mill belt.

Even if someone DID believe it, they could never admit it for fear of vicious ridicule, for once in his life peer pressure was his friend.

And then Wes walked in.

Once Danny saw him he realised that he did recognise Wes, he'd seen him hanging around Kwan a few times, and chatting with Star, he was also in Danny's english class. That was about as familiar as he got with the guy, they'd never spoken a word to each other.

Wes had a terrifying expression of seething fury ripping across his face. He was glaring at Dash.

"It's NOT. FUNNY."

Dash was completely unable to stand, it was honestly overkill, Danny almost thought he was hamming it up on purpose, but maybe not, his face was turning an alarming shade of red after all.

"Wes don-" Dash gasped. "Don't do this to me man, I can't brea-" Dash was gasping for air, trying desperately to hold down the giggles.

Danny could almost see steam rising as Wes seethed. Then suddenly that furious stare was shooting daggers straight at him. Danny shrank into himself, looking as small and helpless as he possibly could.

"Uh hey Wes, um, I've heard the news." he joked tacking on a nervous laugh for emphasis. "Uh, soooo," he tossed the thermos from hand to hand, nearly dropping it again. "Is this like, just a joke or do you really-?"

Dash continued to wheeze, Kwan was holding him up by the arm, muttering about getting some water to cool off.

Wes strode over until he and Danny were face to face, he was taller by a good couple inches, even more so with Danny making a conscious effort to appear small.

Wes jabbed a sharp finger into his collarbone.

"Don't think I'm fooled by this pathetic act you've got going on, I am ONTO you, Phantom." he spat.

Danny glanced sidelong at the table beside him, silently begging for assistance, they only watched in silence, strained faces trying not to laugh. A glance the other way to his friends, they simply shrugged.

"Um, okaaay," Danny started backing away slowly. "Uh look Wes I am honestly really flattered but, do we really look that alike?" Danny ran a hand through his hair and then pointed up at Wes. "I mean we BOTH kinda have Phantom's haircut."

Sam deadpanned from the sidelines, "Maybe they're BOTH Phantom."

"We should start marketing that haircut." Tucker muttered to himself, tapping something on his tablet. "We could make a fortune, are you any good at hairdressing?"

Sam shot him a look of disgust and did not dignify the question with a response.

"Don't play dumb you two," said Wes, flipping his focus, "You're definitely in on this!"

The entire cafeteria was awash with giggles by this point. Just about everyone had heard about Wes' theory, but were mostly convinced it was some kinda joke. Now? Now they knew Wes was straight up fucking delusional.

He glanced around as people laughed, at him. At HIM.

"It's not funny!" he yelled over the crowed, the tittering increased in volume. Someone across the room yelled-

"Hey if I get the haircut, can I be Phantom too?"

One of the goths stood up on her seat.

"I've GOT the haircut! Mom says it's MY TURN to be the Phantom!"

There was a fresh round of mirthful laughter, some kids wheezing as hard as Dash had been. Another few kids piped up above the cacophony, throwing jokes of their own.

"I've got a soup thermos so I'm Phantom now, sorry sweaty I don't make the rules."

"If I wear a Phantom shirt does that make me Phantom ALL the time or am I only Phantom when I'm wearing it?"

"I have an ass, Phantom has an ass. Conclusion: I am Phantom's ass."

"Tag yourself I'm the thermos."

"DO THE BUTTS MATCH?"

Wes had been trying to scream over the din, infuriated, desperate to find SOMEONE who would listen.

Danny gave him a pat on the back.

"Hey, if it makes you feel any better, The Guys in White once hunted some guy down because he had white hair, if a government agency can fuck that up then-"

Wes slugged him.

It wasn't a particularly solid punch like Dash's hits, it was quick and precise, Was wasn't a brawny guy, but he was lean and fast and had good aim.

Danny whuffed out a heavy breath as Wes' fist collided with his sternum and he collapsed to the floor.

Everyone in the cafeteria lost their shit, a few people screamed and one table of football jocks all stood up chanting, "FIGHT. FIGHT. FIGHT. FIGHT."

Tucker ran over to him as Sam stepped up and without hesitation slammed a fist straight into Wes' nose.

The footballers lost their minds, one of the goths stood up on their table screaming "REPRESEEENT!!"

Wes backed up immediately, crying out from the sharp pain blossoming across his face, he'd never been hit before and couldn't pull his thoughts together quick enough to throw a punch back at her, so he was taken by surprise once again as Sam placed a solid roundhouse kick to his stomach.

He had certainly not been expecting that kind of brute strength from her, she had incapacitated him swiftly and effectively, barely having broken a sweat.

One of his teammates hollered over the crowd and came barrelling down on the goth, she dodged without batting an eye and darted nimbly out of the way, giving the guy a quick kick in the pants to throw him off balance as she rocketed for the cafeteria door.

As Wes took a deep breath through his mouth, his nose dripping blood, he realised that Danny and Tucker were gone. The fight had lasted only seconds but Sam had run distraction well enough for the boys to take off without anyone noticing, a glance around showed Tucker supporting Danny about to exit through the cafeteria doors.

The doors opened to an out of breath Mr Lancer on the other side.

"'The Light Fantastic!' WHAT is going on here?!"

Oh they were all so fucked.

[celamoon]

Warnings: Crackfic...? almost? abuse victim, nsfw jokes. please be warned

Pronouns: They/them

Summary: Y/n L/n the unhinged genius of Vyn's patients. A mentally unstable being, the result of the Flora X testing. The same unhinged being that was let into the NXX to lead the searching for the drug.

Prompt: This post by @papellie (Ty for the prompt bestie <3)

Vyn did not have any patients he considered impossible. Well, almost none. He had Y/n L/n, the very unhinged chaos that considered his hardest patient. Someone whom one of his old friends had dropped into his hands because they were an impossible case.

Vyn only took the hardest cases, and you seemed to be the worst of his patients.

"Vynnie!" The patient grins at the sight of their favourite doctor. "Vynnie are you here to shove my medicine down my throat again? How about this time you shove your fingers down my throat-"

"Good afternoon Y/n," Vyn ignores your question. "We've changed your medication to a liquid."

"A liquid?" They tilt their head. "But water isn't a medication?"

"There are many more liquids other than water," Vyn smiles while pouring your medicine.

"Do bodily fluids count?"

"They do,"

"So like cu-"

"Drink up," Vyn shoves the cup to them, and they gag at the smell.

"It smells like the flora drug my previous doctors used to force down my throat," they mumble before downing it in one gulp. "You should really add some sugar or honey to the medicine Vinnie, it tastes disgusting."

Vyn freezes at the familiar name.

"What did you just say?"

"That you should really add some sugar or honey Vynnie," They grin.

"Before that."

"The medication smells like the flora drug I used to be forced to take as a child?" They tilt their head.

"Do you know what that drug was called?" Vyn raises a brow.

"Flora... X? Flora X," You mumble. "FLORA X!! Vynnie are you proud of me?"

Vyn's eyes widen in realization. No wonder you were so unhinged, you had been taking the very medication that was made illegal years ago. Which meant you were a lead into one of the dark pasts of Stellis.

"Say Y/n... if I were to let you out of the ward every once in a while... would you be willing to behave?"

"Vynnie I'm about as stable as a paper clip standing up straight." They blink innocently.

Vyn sighs. He would need to discuss with the NXX team about it.

"Which is... why I suddenly think we have a lead on the medication." Vyn concludes.

"Well that sounds reasonable to let her in," Rosa is the first to speak up. "She does have the lead we need,"

"But she's unhinged," Artem cuts in. "She might cause chaos."

"I mean as long as Vyn keeps her calm I think she could give us some useful information,"

"Why can't you just ask her?" Luke asks.

Vyn sighs. "I can't force anything out of her unless she says it herself."

"Is it in the contract?" Marius raises a brow.

"Yes."

"Then just let her join," Marius shrugs. "It's always so serious in here, having someone unhinged might crack some jokes every now and the...n?"

The other three glare at him.

"Well I think we can try meeting her in my office once to see if it works," Rosa pipes up.

"I..."

"Let's meet her in her psych ward," Vyn sighs. "I don't want her to trash your place."

Which brought us to today.

"Vynnie!" Thye grin. "You brought your friends!"

"They're associates," Vyn sighs. "Y/n meet MC, Luke, Artem, and Marius."

"That's second gen richie, law boi, and bestie," You point at Marius, Artem and MC. "That last one looks like a golden retriever."

The four look at Vyn and he sighs.

"Y/n they're here to discover more about the drug you took when young. Apparently it stops brain growth and has depressive side effects."

"OOOh is that why I tried to kill myself with a plastic cup last time?"

"She did whAT-?"

"Perhaps. It could also explain why you're my patient." Vyn smiles.

"That's right! Vynnie only takes the worst of the worst! ...You have really bad taste Vynnie. I'd rather be with the mentally stable," they shrug.

"Ah so Y/n?"

"Yes bestie?"

MC flushes a soft pink. "Do you remember much about the drug you used to take?"

"Uh so I think the tablets were pink at first, and then they successfully changed it to white... I could recreate it for you if you want? But only for you bestie, Vynnie is too mean." They pout.

Vyn sighs and the other three turn to look at him.

"re...create it?"

"Well they recruited me as a scientist first so I know the basic components of the drug but then they locked me up to force the medicine down my throat. It tasted ok but I think I lost control each time I had some-" They mumble. "Oh and of course I ran away and then some random man caught me and sent me to Vynnie's. He wasn't that bad though, he fed me some good food-"

"Wait wait," Vyn steps forward. "You know the components of the drug?"

"It tasted like the medicine you fed me the other day Vynnie," They grumble. "I also remember that the lab had really pretty water next to it. I think I ran down a hill to escape them."

The five look at each other and then MC speaks up.

"Y/n,"

"Yes bestie?"

"If we let you come with us, will you help us gather information?"

Artem frowns and you catch it.

"Law boi doesn't seem very happy about me coming along."

"Your mind works incredibly but the drug seems to have limited you." Vyn steps up. "I'll give you a nice room to live in."

"Idk Vynnie, sounds like bribery to me," They shrug.

"I'll bake for you-"

"Sold." they're glowing.

'... that easy?' they all sweat at your quick response.

"So all I have to do is gather information right?"

"We need to find out where the village is-"

"Up on a hill. Really tasty fish... uh crystal clear water and then I think I bumped into a crashed car on my way down the hill." You mumble. "I think the place started with O-"

"Opaline Village." Luke speaks up. "Is that it?"

"I think so~" you smile. "So Vynnie... when do I get to move out?"

"If you behave well the next three days I can get you out by the end of the week."

Your eyes glimmer.

You're an incredible actress, and an even better hacker apparently. Luke gave you three lessons on basic hacking and you broke into the Pax firewall quicker than he could.

"Ok so what now?"

"Can you get the locked files?"

"These?"

You even printed them out.

The group could only call you an unhinged genius from that point on.

"Your codename will be Flora."

"Wow you really named me after a drug huh Vynnie-" That earned you a smack in the head.

"King I can you order takeout?"

"Not to here-"

"Then to somewhere nearby! I'm hungry!" You reach for the knife in your drawer.

"ADJUCATOR!" Marius calls before you can end him.

Vyn shoves a pastry into your mouth and you continue working.

"We're heading to Opaline village today," MC and Luke tell you.

"Samples are in the third drawer in the fourth room after you turn left bestie~!" You sing.

What the hell?

"Vynnie what's for dinner,"

"What would you like?"

"Revenge," You blink.

"Rosa's working on that." He hums. "Food wise?"

"You-"

"I'm not edible," He deadpans.

"No but your-"

"I'll order pizza," Marius groans. You had been pulling all nighters in the office to crack down the firewall to the other files.

"Artie can you grab me a coffee on your way here?" You're on the phone with Artem now.

Vyn snatches the phone and sighs. "Don't get them any. They've been awake for nearly 72 hours now. I want them to crash asleep before they crash dead,"

"AWW VYNNIE CARES FOR ME!!!" You grin cheekily.

Artem brought you hot tea instead.

Then MC and Luke came back. You stood with the others as they watched MC get kissed by Huey. The child then ran up to you and hugged you.

"Thank you for teaching me how to break the firewall..."

The other five turned to you in shock.

"Love you Huey. Remember not to hack anyone unless you absolutely have to," You kissed him on the forehead. "Be good in school alright?"

"Okay..." He smiles.

Since when were you good with kids??

"So uh... we found the files," MC handed you papers and you grinned.

"My medical notes!"

What kind of Harley Quinn shit is this?

"So... what kind of abuse did they exactly go through?" Vyn stands next to MC as they watch you fight Marius.

"The files we read said that apparently at first they were fed the drug inside of their meal. Eventually they were locked up in a prison cell and turned into a complete test subject. They skipped three meals before they ran away." MC mumbles. "It's really sad."

Luke pulls you off of Marius and Artem hands you your morning coffee.

"Only you're dependable out of you all Artie..." You sigh blissfully after a sip. "Only you..."

Vyn's eyebrow twitches at the comment. MC can only look in amusement.

"Y/n you need to take a break." Vyn sighs.

"I get a break when I get revenge on that bitch who started drugging my food," You hiss.

"Even if I bake?"

"Depends what it is," You continue clicking, and you're focused.

"Then..." Vyn can't get himself to say it.

"Let's bet then," You mumble. "I break the firewall in the next hour you go on a date with me, if I don't then you can drag me to bed."

Vyn sighs. "Deal." He was really powerless compared to you.

Sure enough in 30 minutes, a cheer erupted in the headquarters. It sounded like your voice with Luke's.

"WE BROKE IN WE BROKE IN RAVEN WE BROKE IN!!!!" You screamed, your voice was hoarse from the lack of water.

The two of you are in an embrace, and Vyn's eyebrows twitch again.

"The all nighters..." Luke cries. "We did it..."

"VYNNIE YOU OWE ME A DATE!" You cried.

Vyn can only sigh. "When would you like to go out?"

You stand up, and you make your way to him.

"When I wake up." You proceed to crash dead onto the bed next to him. The NXX team then panicked for the next ten minutes because Marius thought you stopped breathing.

You slept for three days.

The NXX thought you died. Then you woke up and acted as though you didn't just die for 3 days.

"Good morning bestie," You're back on your computer again.

"Y/n you shouldn't be back on your computer after dropping dead for three days." MC panics. "Besides, Y/n you're going on a date today with Vyn right?"

"Yeah," You yawn.

"Do you want to dress up?" You strut to your closet.

"Oh look," You throw your closet door open. Lingerie and t-shirts and shorts. "Ah here's a decent outfit."

You toss together some clothes, and MC smiles. "Would you like me to help you with your hair?"

"Sure. Thank you MC," You smile.

The epitome of gender envy. Damn bestie you looked hot.

Vyn arrives a couple minutes after you finish getting ready.

"Vynnie!"

"It's... been a while since I've seen you dressed up," Vyn smiles. "Shall we go?"

You grin as he leads you to his car.

"What would you like to do?" Vyn peers at you.

"Can we bake at your place?" you fumble in your seat.

"Sure," He smiles. "What would you like to make?"

"Macarons?"

"Those are pretty hard Y/n... you sure?" He raises a brow at you.

"If I can hack a firewall then I can bake macarons." you grinned.

So turns out that was a lie.

"Vynnie ˚‧º·(˚ ˃̣̣̥⌓˂̣̣̥ )‧º·˚ " You whined. "Help me!"

"You didn't beat the egg whites enough," Vyn grabs the bowl from your arms and you rest your head on your palm.

"Vynnie the male wife..." You peered at him. "Vynnie would you marry me-?"

Clang

Vyn's caught off guard and drops the metal bowl. His glasses slide down slightly, and his lips are parted in shock.

"Sorry Vynnie," You reach over the counter to help him fix his glasses, and you beat the egg whites yourself. "Must've scared you out of your mind."

"No no," Vyn regains his composure and smiles.

"Dedication is hard," You mumble. "People change after time, and changes vary from person to person... betrayal plagues a person, and people that you once loved no longer love you back. Which is why Vynnie doesn't want to date right?"

Vyn pauses, and you hum in satisfaction.

"Ooh the egg whites are stiff." You turn the bowl upside down on top of your head and grin. "Shall we mix the two together?"

"Let me," Vyn folds the mixture in, and you hum. "Vynnie do you like MC?"

Vyn nearly drops the bowl again. He just couldn't get a break from your remarks. "Why are you asking?"

"When you came to pick me up your pulse was quicker than usual." You mumble. "Then when we got in the car and out of MC's sight your pulse slowed"

Vyn stops to stare at you now. "Is that why you were holding my wrist?"

"Luke taught me," You mumble. "To read people better."

"Unfortunately your hypothesis is wrong," Vyn smiles. "My heart did not quicken because of MC."

"Huh," You mumble.

"Could you help me put the batter in the piping bag?"

"Sure," You open a piping bag, and you open it for him to put the batter in. "Can I do the piping?"

"Sure," Vyn finishes filling in the bag, and you pipe the batter onto the tray.

"Vynnie why did your heartbeat go up then?"

Vyn stares at you. "Because I got to see you dressed up,"

You stumble and nearly mess up on a macaron shell.

"Vynnie teasing me isn't funny," You pout. Vyn smiles as he rests his cheek on his hand.

"But I was being honest," He beams at you.

"Vynnie!"

"Alright two hours"

"DON'T JUST CHANGE THE SUBJECT-"

"Siri please set a two hour timer-"

"VYNNIE!!!"

[nev3rfound]

someone i once knew : b.b - p.6

now that your memories are resurfacing, it’s finally time for bucky to get the answers to his questions and to see you, the real you once more. (4.1k)

oh my goodness, this is it?! a quick non soppy thank you for reading, but seriously all of your comments, feedback and excitement have made writing this series so joyful for me, so thank you and i hope you like the last part!

PART ONE . PART TWO . PART THREE . PART FOUR . PART FIVE . PART SIX (THE ENDING)

(anything in bold/italics are flashbacks/memories!)

WARNINGS: mentions of hospitals, references to bucky’s ‘death’ in CATFA, blood, angst - i think that’s it!

masterlist / permanent taglist / etsy shop

(everything on my blog is my own writing. if it is shared on another page or website without being credited, it has not been approved to be shared by me. all rights reserved.)

Bucky ignored everyone as he stormed through the compound once he got off the jet. He didn’t care about the warnings being yelled at him, all he could hear were the words you uttered before you were taken away. ‘I remember.’

“Buck, wait,” Steve grabs Bucky by the shoulder, forcing him to a halt as he stares at Steve coldly. “she’s still fragile, Fury needs to see us, now.” Steve states, watching as the rage in Bucky’s gaze melt into sadness.

“I need to see her, Steve.” Bucky pleads as Steve lowers his hand from his friend.

“I know,” Steve sighs. “but she’s in good hands, the sooner we speak with Fury, the sooner you can see her.”

*

Opening your eyes, you blink rapidly as a series of faces greet you, all wearing bright smiles. “Hello, Y/n.” Someone steps forward, dressed in all black and with an eye patch covering one eye.

“I-”

“No no, don’t try and talk just yet.” The man states as he glances over his shoulder to the woman with a device in hand, tapping away at it whilst you watch in confusion. “I’m sorry to say it has been longer than it should’ve been since your last check-in.” He explains as you furrow your brows, remaining quiet. “We are aware that they are supposed to be every few years, but there was an accident involving Howard Stark.”

Your heart drops into your stomach, Howard, your dear friend who has helped you through all of this. “Is he?” You mutter, your voice is hoarse as the man simply nods.

“Due to Stark’s demise, it has taken us years to have access to your chamber.” He continues to explain, stepping away and past a group of people, strangers from those you knew whilst you remain inside your chamber.

“Years?” You ask, still tied up inside the chamber. Usually, once your eyes opened you would be released, allowed to walk with Howard and Peggy if she was available; but this feels wrong, somethings changed. “How long?”

The man pauses as he turns back to face you. “The year is 2011.”

Shaking your head in disbelief, you look over at all of the people before you. “No, no that’s not possible.” You breathe out, feeling your chest tighten as you fight in the restraints keeping you inside the chamber. “It was 1989!” You state, but the man simply turns away from you. “It was 1989.” You repeat under your breath as three men approach you, one with a needle in hand and without warning, plunges it into your forearm.

“You’ll be safe, Y/n.” The man tells you as your vision blurs once more until your head rolls forward.

*

“Take a seat, Sargent, Captain.” Fury directs them both into the room, seeing Tony already sat, waiting for them.

Sitting down apprehensively, Bucky remains perched on the edge of his seat, hearing the plates in his metal arm whir loudly as he clenches his fist. The action doesn’t go unnoticed by Fury who spares a glance at Maria, watching her close the door to the conference room.

“Are you finally going to explain what you know about my assistant and what the hell is going on here?” Tony asks, leaning back in his chair as he rests his feet on the table.

“Yes, we will.” Fury starts and Maria hands out a file from SHIELD, dated back to the late 40′s.

Taking the file in his grasp, Bucky eyes it carefully, noticing your name etched into the cover.

“What is this?” Steve questions whilst Tony and Bucky open their files, a photograph of you clipped onto the front page.

Running his thumb over the image, Bucky remembers being there for that photo. You had just gotten your summer dress, and he couldn’t keep his eyes off you. A photographer captured your smile as you walked into the hall for the weekend dance, Bucky right behind you, just out of shot.

“This is Subject 359 from Project Revive.” Fury presses a button on the tablet in front of him, revealing a projection of photos, showing you stood alongside Howard Stark and Peggy Carter, images causing heartache for the three men. “Miss Y/l/n volunteered herself after the war for an initiative to suspend life.”

“She went into cryo?” Bucky speaks up, sadness etches his tone as he focuses on your bright smile in the photo of you in between Howard and Peggy.

“She did, Sargent.” Fury states. “Y/l/n was Howard’s first subject to succeed in the trials, and was put into the induced state for organised periods of time and then awoken to ensure she was still healthy in all respects.”

More images flash up, showing both Peggy and Howard getting older, but you remaining youthful between the two.

Steve can’t help but feel his heart sinking at the sight of Peggy, the years he’ll never have with her, the forgotten time as a golden band remains on her ring finger.

“So how come she doesn’t remember anything?” Tony breaks his silence, tearing his eyes from the images of his dear old Dad to focus on Fury whose frown only deepens.

The projection disappears as Fury rises to his feet before pointing to Bucky. “The winter soldier happened.”

Bucky lowers the file from his grip as he watches Fury carefully. He remains quiet, too afraid of what will be said next.

“After the winter soldier executed Howard and Maria Stark, access to the chamber Y/l/n was held in was restricted.” Fury explains, now looking over to Tony who lowers his feet from the table and sits upright.

“That’s why you needed me.” Tony can’t help but scoff. “You took my DNA.”

“Howard was a smart man, but he knew his systems could easily be overridden by someone more intelligent in the future. So he ensured the only way the chamber holding Y/n could be accessed was by his own bloodline.”

Tony laughs quietly under his breath. “Tony,” Steve starts, but Tony carries on.

“God, Dad truly had a reason for everything didn’t he?” Tony remarks. “Too bad he wasn’t alive to see what a car crash he created.” He jokes, leaning forward to glare at Bucky whose head remains buried in his hands.

“It’s all my fault.” Bucky mutters. “Everything, after all this time.” He slowly sits upright as all eyes remain locked on him like a target.

“Not necessarily, Sargent.” Maria speaks up from the sidelines. “You see, Y/n had been left in cryo for just over two decades when we finally got to her. She was disorientated, and had missed an entire segment of history, the turn of the century, evolution of technology and much more.”

“So, we did what was written according to Howard, which Y/n had agreed upon if the time came.” Fury adds. “We took her to Wakanda, and suppressed her memories.”

Bucky shakes his head, throwing your file aside as he stands up. “No, she would never do that!” He yells, slamming his metal fist into the table causing it to split.

Remaining unphased, Fury carries on. “She did, Sargent. Look in her file and see for yourself.”

Bending down, Bucky picks the file up and skims through the various pages, past your health reports and to a legal document where your signature remains inked on the bottom of the page.

“Y/n Y/l/n was a broken woman after the loss of her best friend and fiance. She trusted those that were left behind and put herself into their hands, knowing she would be making a difference and aid the future of science and medicine.” A fraction of a smile forms on Fury’s face. “But bringing her into the twenty-first century meant changes had to be made in her mind. Memories had to be rewritten and others to be permanently hidden.”

“So how come she’s now remembering?” Tony asks. “And how come she ended up here, as my assistant of all people?” He huffs loudly.

Fury spares a glance to Hill who nods, before exiting the room. “Y/n was always going to have a job of some descript within SHIELD.” Fury paces around the room as the three pairs of eyes burn into his every move. “However, when Y/n returned from her time in Wakanda, after her memories had been rewritten we got in touch offering her a job opportunity which would lead to being Tony's assistant. What we didn’t expect during that time were two super soldiers to resurface from the dead.” Fury motions to both Steve and Bucky.

“So they triggered it?” Tony pieces the details together, pointing the blame to Bucky who tenses under Fury’s cold gaze.

“It seems that way. But now that she’s remembering, the details of the life she has supposedly had all these years are fading away. She’ll be confused for a while, but the memories implanted can be removed.”

“She can forget about that life?” Bucky questions quietly, having heard you briefly discuss memories of the life you never truly lived with such vividness. “She’ll only remember the life she lived with us?”

“Yes, Sargent.” Fury states. “Y/n Y/l/n will be the same girl you left in the 40′s, give or take some level of trauma.”

“Can I see her then?” The question leaves his lips instantly, barely allowing Fury to take a breath.

Yet, Bucky watches the glances exchanged between the other men, the uncertainty in their expressions whilst Bucky remains still.

Steve slowly stands up and pats Bucky’s arm, giving him a knowing smile before heading toward the door, Tony right behind him who doesn’t spare Bucky a glance.

Now alone with Fury, Bucky can feel his body tensing under Fury’s scrutiny. “Is there something else I’m supposed to know?” Bucky tries to remain composed as his leg bounces beneath the table, his foot repeatedly hitting the floor.

“Y/n will be unconscious, in a comatose state for the next week or so.” Fury explains, watching as Bucky sinks into his seat. “It’ll take time, Sargent, for her to recover from this.”

“But she’ll be Y/n.” Bucky comments, watching Steve and Tony walk in separate directions past the glass screens of the conference room without looking back.

Fury reaches down beside him, lifting up a metal briefcase. “Before you go, Barnes,” Fury unlocks the latches on the case, lifting the lid up. “there’s something you might like back.”

Bucky raises a brow as Fury reaches inside the case, taking something out and places it on the table.

Feeling his breath hitch in his throat, Bucky doesn’t trust his legs to work properly as he eyes the small box. “I, I never thought I’d see that again.” Bucky admits, a tired chuckle following.

“We kept it as per Y/n’s wishes.” Fury remarks, sliding the box across the table as Bucky grasps it in his flesh hand, opening the lid to reveal his prized possession, unable to forget the memories laced around the diamond ring.

Smiling at the jewel, Bucky closes the lid to the velvet box and places it into his pocket. “Thank you.” Bucky mutters. “For looking after her.”

“Y/n has been SHIELDS best-kept secret for almost 6 decades, Barnes.” Fury comments. “It’s about time she’s allowed another chance at living, don’t you think?”

Nodding to himself, Bucky pushes his chair back, hearing it scrape along the wooden floorboards.

“One more thing,” Fury interrupts as Bucky reaches for the door handle. “none of it was your fault, Bucky.”

Sparing a glance over his shoulder, Bucky focuses on Fury as he remains straight-faced, but reaches forward, bringing the projection back up of you, Howard and Peggy.

“I hope she knows that too.” Bucky thinks aloud as he opens the door, closing it behind him before he can hear Fury’s response.

Watching the former soldier walk down the corridor, Fury sighs deeply as he removes the projection. “I’m sure she will.” He closes the empty briefcase, knowing that this is the end of Project Revive, once and for all.

Hanging from the railing, Bucky could hear Steve screaming his name, his arm outstretched for him to grab.

The wind was hurtling at his body full speed as his fingers began to slip from the rails, but he knew he had to make it, he couldn’t leave you for the second time and not come home.

Steve began to climb down from the train, moving across the broken frame toward Bucky, stretching his arm. “Just hang on!” Steve yells, fear rising through his tone as the bolts of the railing Bucky is grasping onto begin to creak, pulling away from the metal lining of the wall.

“Steve, I,” Bucky calls out, moving along the rail closer to his friend.

“Grab my hand, come on!” Steve cries out, knowing he can save him, he has to save his best friend. “Come on, Buck.” He mutters, thinking back to the morning before they left, seeing you in Bucky’s arms with the ring on your finger, a whole future for you both awaiting to be lived.

Looking up in desperation, Bucky cannot stop the scream leaving his lips as the railing breaks as his body becomes weightless, his arm still outstretched as he falls.

Steve screams as Bucky cries, falling through the air toward the ground at full speed.

The train carries on, turning a corner leaving Bucky truly alone as Steve breathes heavily, his heart has broken into pieces as his best friend is gone.

Lying in the snow, Bucky can feel his breaths slowing, life draining from his body as the white ice surrounding him is turning crimson. “Y/n,” He breathes out, looking up at the bare branches reaching for one another from different trees. “I’m sorry.” He whispers as his eyes begin to dip, just as several men appear above him.

Panting heavily, Bucky looks over to the clock on his bedside table. 7 in the morning, again.

He buries his face into his hand, feeling guilt course through his body knowing you’re awake and he has yet to see you. Part of him was nervous to see who you’ve become and whether you’re still the same girl he loved and lost all those years ago. Or if you’re this new version that he knew as Tony’s assistant, one who views him as the former winter soldier, not James Barnes.

Playing with the ring in his fingertips, Bucky walks toward the medical wing within the compound, already hearing laughter sounding from the room causing his heart rate to spike.

“She was amazing, truly.” You tell Steve, resting your hand over his as he tries to stop tears falling from his eyes. “And she was happy in the end, you know that, right?”

“Yeah,” Steve mutters, wiping his eyes. “but she seriously punched Howard for not taking Maria on a date sooner?” He asks again as you nod, gentle laughs sounding from you both as Bucky hovers behind the entrance, a wall of apprehension stopping him from entering.

“Do, do you think he’ll visit?” It’s almost whispered as you look down at your marked hands, scratches and dark bruises now littering your skin.

Hearing faint movements from the doorway adjacent to your bed, Steve smiles to himself for a split second. “Why’d you think he wouldn’t?”

Bucky leans closer against the doorway, his heart hanging together by a mere thread as you shakily sigh. “I just, what if I’m not who he remembers or even wants in his life?”

Ever since your memories flooded your mind, you couldn’t stop thinking about him, wondering what he’d think of you.

“I’ve been awake for two days, Steve,” You add, doubt clouding your mind as Steve silently prays for Bucky to just walk in. “and, and he hasn’t been yet I just, I,” You stumble over your words, eyes locked on the sheets covering your body as you remain unaware of Bucky turning the corner, walking toward you.

“Hey, doll,” Bucky quietly calls out, standing still in the entranceway with the box now in his pocket, out of sight as he clasps both hands together, flesh into metal.

Your hand slips from Steve’s as you force yourself further up the bed, itching to climb out.

“I wouldn’t do that, you know what Bruce said.” Steve reminds you, yet you tear the sheets from your body and uneasily rise to your feet.

“Since when did that stop me, huh?” You joke back, Bucky unable to stop himself from smiling at your playful antics with Steve, giving him a glimpse of what he once knew.

Moving closer to one another, you both can’t help but note the changes. Your gaze hovers to his metal arm, the black plates etched with gold leading to his shoulder, his long hair and stubble lining his jaw. But he still had the same loving blue eyes, even if you could see the pain lingering behind them.

Yet, Bucky could still see it’s you. Despite the bruising and cuts across your skin, you hadn’t changed one bit.

“James?” You speak up, too afraid to reach out as your hands remain by your sides.

“Y/n.” Bucky responds softly, taking a step closer as Steve watches from the sidelines, having never anticipated seeing this moment happen after he saw Bucky fall from the train all those years ago.

“It’s really you, isn’t it?” You ask sadly as tears begin to fall across your cheeks.

Taking another step toward you, Bucky lifts his arm up to brush the tears from your face. His hand shakes as he takes a deep breath, allowing himself to cup your cheek in his hand.

Closing your eyes, you rest your hand over his as he holds back the sob in his throat. “It’s me, doll.” Bucky whispers as you squeeze his hand, not wanting to let go. “You have no idea how much I’ve missed you.” He breathes out, knowing no words can truly describe the past sixty years, not yet at least.

“I’ve missed you so much, James.” You try to compose yourself, knowing it’s no use as you look up at him, the man you’ve loved. “I never thought I’d see you again.”

Chuckling sadly, Bucky nods in agreement. “I thought the same until I heard you playing the piano the other week.”

“Wake and dream medley.” You remember it, having danced many a time with him at his Mother’s house, twirling around the living room whilst Rebecca laughed with you as Bucky dipped you and dropped you by accident. “I, I,” Stumbling over your words, Bucky glances over to Steve.

“I’ll leave you two alone.” Steve speaks up. “But it’s good to see you both, together after all this time.” He adds sincerely before stepping out of the room whilst Bucky guides you back toward the hospital bed, knowing you still need your rest even if you deny it.

“You’ve read my file, Y/n,” Bucky sighs. “I, I’m not the same man you knew.” He looks away, still cautious of himself, of his own mind. “There are things that I’ve done that I’m afraid of you learning about.”

Unable to take your eyes off him, you take hold of his metal arm with both your hands, gliding your fingertips over the cool metal as the plates whir into place.

And then the last thing Bucky anticipates hearing causes his ears to perk up. You giggle, a smile growing across your lips as you shuffle closer into Bucky’s embrace.

“I know James,” You tell him, lifting his arm to rest around you as you lean against his chest, inhaling the scent that was a foreign memory intertwined with old pillows after he left for war. “but I want you to know, I’ll love you, whoever you are or whoever you turn out to be. Nothing, and I mean nothing will change that.” You assure him, feeling his heart beating rapidly against his ribcage.

“You still love me?” He breathes out, trying to disguise the evident surprise in his tone, but you quickly move from his embrace, staring at him with sorrow in your gaze as your brows furrow together.

“You think I could ever have stopped?” You retort.

“Doll,” Bucky starts, but you shake your head.

“Why would you think I would’ve stopped, or possible could?” A scoff sounds from you as Bucky lowers his gaze to the marble tiles on the floor, shame overcoming his mind.

“James, for years I mourned you, I strove for a better future, dealing with losing you and Steve. My parents were gone, I had no one left besides myself.” You explain, fighting through your emotions that have been suppressed with your memories for so long. “In all that time, not once did I ever stop loving you, even if you were gone.”

“I was never very good at loving you though, Y/n.” Bucky admits. “We both know that I, I left you, twice. Both times with the promise of coming home.”

“And you did.” You comment, resting your hand on his stubbled cheek as Bucky glances up, seeing a shy smile form on your face. “You’re here now, we both are.” You chuckle in disbelief. “By some means, we’re both here, in the twenty first century, alive.”

“Never thought I’d live to see the turn of the century, let alone live in it completely.” Bucky jokes, hearing you laugh quietly. “Will, will you still have me then, Y/n?” He asks softly as he reaches into his pocket, revealing the small velvet box.

Your eyes widen in shock at the sight of it. “They gave it back to you?” You ask in disbelief, feeling the corners of your lips bury further into your cheeks whilst Bucky nods.

“And now I’m giving it back to you, its rightful owner.” Bucky states, lifting the lid revealing the ring, your ring. “That is, if you’d still like it, doll?” He apprehensively asks.

Yet, you roll your eyes, unable to stop yourself from huffing in response. “Are you seriously asking me that?” You remark, and Bucky blinks for a moment. “And like this? Come on, Buck, at least give it a little class.” You joke, only ever calling him ‘Buck’ in times of relief.

Moving from off of the bed, Bucky grunts as he kneels down in front of you on one knee. “Y/n Y/n, will you do me the honour of becoming my wife, my doll and my best friend forevermore?” His words mirror those he uttered decades ago in that old dance hall, and yet they still roll off his tongue with the same ease.

Following his action, you lower yourself from the bed, Bucky reaches out to support your waist as you kneel in front of him. “Yes,” You smile. “and I guess this time, forever means forever, huh?”

“You’re stuck with me doll,” Bucky jokes as you lean closer, your lips ghosting his.

“I wouldn’t have it any other way, James.” You whisper, closing the distance between you both as you kiss him, the sensation of coming home after all this time hitting you like a ton of bricks as you wrap your arms around him, wishing to never let him go.

“Close your eyes.” Bucky whispers, and you oblige. “Think of him, think about any details that you have relived, any conversations or scenery you noticed.” Bucky suggests, trying his hardest to not reach out and take your hand in his.

Keeping your eyes closed, you try to focus on his face, hear his voice, but it’s all too much of a blur. “It’s no use.” You sigh, burying your face in your hands. “I just, I know if I ever saw him again or met him somehow, I’d know who he was.” You mumble into your palms, unaware of Bucky tearing his eyes from you, the ropes pulling his heart snapping for good, now beyond repair.

“You’ll find him, Y/n.” Bucky pats your back, hearing you sniffle.

“You think?” You ask, lifting your head back up as you half-smile to Bucky who nods.

“I’m sure of it.” He forces a smile, but you can tell it’s not reaching his eyes.

And after all this time, Bucky was right, you had found him; only to discover he’d been there all along.

T H E  E N D 

(thank you to the following for all the love on the series - i couldn’t have done it without your support :) ) 

@mellmellmell12@theofficialzivadavid @fandom-princess-forevermore @lokilovefoever @vivalakatee @chgevorgian @captainwinterwriter @carliewinchester @spn-obession @buckysquad @shower-me-with-roses @basicgukk @yasminwashere @sunfouler @feminist-fan-girl @stealapizzamyheart @soccer-100000   @sunflowerbunny2   @kickingn-ames @choerriesmotion @why-thats-just-delightful @officialfictionalwreck @romanoff-nataliaalianovna @hersilencedscreams @b-r-stark @dezzxmx @thearcher-temis @i-lost-my-shoe-down-a-drain @girl-obsessed-with-things @loitsurohto @shawnie--jo @alainabooks143 @dorothea-hwldr @bakugouswh0r3 @chloe-skywalker @btsiguess-kpop @austynparksandpizza @tomisagod @22-frozen-memories @peachy-aisha @emilytheukuleleplayer @pass-me-jeez-it @yuukiahim 

[teddy06writes]

sorry to request yet another one, but you are such an amazing writer. Could I possibly have a romeo and juliet type story where reader is sleepybois sibling and is in love with either poly dream team (dream,George,sapnap) or just george xx

dream x george x sapnap x reader + sleepy boys x sibling!reader

trigger warnings: swearing, yelling, character death, Wilbur being a dumbass

premise: you are one of Philza’s children, and have fought for L’manburg’s independence, we follow your secret romance with the enemy, of course, this tragedy knows no happy ending

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You carefully dropped down over the side of the L’manburg wall, ducking into a roll before standing up and dusting yourself off, starting to sneak away.

A hand clamps around your forearm, pulling you around the side of a tree.

You hold back a yelp, instead turning with a smile, whispering, “Mr. Sapnap we simply must stop meeting like this.”

“And what? You’d have us march through your gates announcing ourselves to your brothers, I think not.” Nick chuckled.

“Well, I suppose that would put a damper on things.” You grinned, pressing a kiss to his lips.

He fit your hand into his, pulling you along as you started for where the others would be waiting, “Especially when they are so against our dear Dream.”

“To be fair, he was against us.” You argued.

“But no more.” The man himself pointed out, stepping out of the shadows, rising his mask enough to press a kiss to your knuckles.

“Because we continued to fight? or Because you wanted an excuse to talk to me without it being over a declaration of war?”

“I believe it was because Tommy gave up his disks,” George offered, leaning in to place a kiss on your cheek, “Hello dearest.”

You sighed, “Phil gave him those disks. They were one of the only things to survive the blast.”

Behind the mask you could tell Dream’s face fell, and he started to turn away, “I- we did what we thought was right.”

“Blowing up my country was what you thought was right?” You challenged, crossing your arms, “You even had the audacity to cheer as my head was separated from my body by the sheer force.”

“Here we go again.” George muttered.

“We didn’t know you then! Things have changed! You and your people are free now!”

“That does not change our history.” You said indigently.

“What about when Sapnap burned the forests? That’s part of your history too yet we don’t see you yelling at him!” Dream exclaimed.

You sighed, “The forests were replanted with his help, and he has shown remorse, and regret over his actions.”

Surprisingly Dream wrapped his arms around you, pulling you flush against his chest, “If that is what I takes to gain your trust, then I am sorry. I hope my past mistakes do not haunt you any longer.”

Reluctantly you wrapped your arms around him, smiling as the other boys joined the embrace.

After a few moment Dream pulled away, “c’mon, we may even have time for a proper date.”

~~

“An election?” You questioned, “But your already the president.”

Wilbur grinned, “But I put myself in that position, if we do it this way everything is fair!”

You glanced down at the papers littering his desk, “Wil I don’t see how this makes things fair, I mean,” You picked up the note book where he’d been witting makeshift ballots, “Closing the ballots early? The people will only have one option! How is that fair?”

“Actually, I’m running as well.”

You turned to see Quackity entering the office, “You? You’ve gotta be kidding me.”

The man frowned, “Well, I figure if Wilbur here gets a chance to do it fair why shouldn’t I?”

“We’ll be able to beat him easily.” Your brother quietly assured you.

~~

“You alright love? You seem stressed.” Nick said quietly.

You sighed looking up at the sky, “Wilbur plans to hold an election. He believes we can over take Quackity and Swag 2020, but now Fundy and Niki have made there own party as well.”

George turned, propping himself up on his elbow, “That doesn’t sound good. If he’s already in charge why does he need to be re elected?”  

“We put him on the throne, Tommy, Tubbo, Niki, Fundy and I. He wishes to be there fairly with the support of the people.”

Dream hummed, “Do you think he could win?”

“It’s possible,” You sighed, leaning back against Nick, “But campaigns have been tricky, Tommy managed to dig up Jshlatt. They though he could help, but now he’s trying to make a claim to having a spot on the ballot.”

“I thought he was dead.” George said.

You laced your fingers through his, “Well now he’s just a drunk who’s running for president. God I hope it was just a joke.” You muttered the last part.

The boy shared glances, Nick hazarding, “What happens if someone else wins?”

“Well, I suppose it wouldn’t change much for me, technically I hold no office other than managing my brothers and the campaign, it’d shift me further out of public eye, but, I think Wilbur wouldn’t handle it well.”

Dream began to trace shapes into your open palm, “Well, with you in charge of the campaign I doubt your brother will fail.”

You smiled, “Let’s hope so.”

A few hours later, as the sun began to disappear beyond the hills of L’manburg you stood up from the picnic, bidding your lovers farewell, “Wilbur’s meeting starts soon, and I’ll be missed.”

After a few traded kisses you started back through the woods toward L’manburg, sneaking back in through a gap that had never been fixed in the wall, pausing at your house to change back into your L’manburg uniform before hurrying off to the white house.

“Your late!” Tommy called sharply as you entered Wilbur’s office.

“I lost track of time working on the last of the posters.” You pulled the rolled up tubes of paper from the bag you’d grabbed at the house as well.

Wilbur took the tubes as Tommy looked at you skeptically, “Yeah, doing that and what else?”

“Well I was talking to Phil today telling him about the election,” You sat down next to Tubbo, “But not much else.”

Wilbur sighed, dropping a flyer on the table, “We have more important notion to discuss, it would seem that Shlatt is serious about this.”

You grabbed the flyer, looking over the bolded, ‘Shlatt 2020′ and then back at Wilbur, “This can’t be real. I thought you closed the ballot.”

“The people favor him enough to allow him a spot on the ballot.” Tubbo sighed.

“We still stand a chance though,” Tommy said quickly turning to Wilbur, “Right Wil?”

Your older brother hesitated, wavering for a moment, before nodding, “Yes. Yes of course.”

~~

“(y/n) I must ask you some thing.” Wilbur said as the meeting ended and Tommy and Tubbo headed out.

“Yeah?”

“Why do you sneak out?” Your breathing hitched but he continued, “Who are you meeting? What are you hiding? Who do you talk too from- from the SMP lands?” His voice turned to acid at the last words.

“I don’t go anywhere, outside L’manburg. Other than for walks in the forest on occasion.” You lied.

Wilbur examined your face, as if searching for something, “Fine then. Don’t tell me, I will find out sooner or later.”

He strode out of the room, leaving you to pull out your com tablet, privately messaging Dream, ‘it might be a bit before I can see you guys again’

‘:(’

You rolled your eyes quickly typing, ‘Wils getting suspicious, I’m just trying to keep you safe’

‘george also says :(’ Was all you received in reply, so you quickly put the tablet away, heading out of the office and out to the street.

You took a deep breath, looking back at the podium, ballots would be collected tomorrow, and then everything could change.

~~

“Last night, before the last of the ballots were collected, Mr. Quackity of the SWAG 2020 party made an agreement with Mr. Jshlatt of the SHLATT 2020 campaign, that if neither party won the popular vote, they would combine there votes, creating a collation.” WIlbur announced.

From your place to the side of the stage you froze, fear coursing through your veins.

“And so, the combined percentages of SWAG 2020 and SHLATT 2020, bring the coalition to 46% of the popular vote.”

Your heart pounded in your ears, feeling Tommy freeze beside you.

“Which means, the coalition government of SWAG and SHLATT 2020, have won the L’manburg election, by 1%.”

The world seemed to slow as parts of the crowd erupted into cheers, Quackity jumped around on the stage yelling as Wilbur slowly moved away from the podium, out of the corner of your eye, near the back of the stands you see your boyfriends all looking down, but you paid them no mind, instead looking Shlatt dead in the eye as he grinned maliciously at you, before turning to address the crowd.

Wilbur tugged you and Tommy away from the stage, “We’re citizens tonight.”

Shlatt leaned over the podium as you took seats near the front of the crowd, “Well that, was pretty easy.”

You felt your brothers grip your hands, as you stared up at Shlatt.

“You know what I said when I announced this campaign? I said ‘things are gonna change’ I looked every citizen of L’manburg in the eye and I said ‘you listen to me... this place will be a lot different tomorrow.”

He smirked down at you, “So let’s start making that happen. My first decree as president of L’manburg- as EMPEROR! Of this great country!”

Your breathing hitched, “Is to revoke citizenship-! Of TommyInnit, Wilbur Soot, and (Y/n)! Get them out of here!”

Suddenly it seemed as though every weapon in the city was trained on you as Tommy dragged you up out of your seat.

Wilbur was yelling at you to run, but you remained frozen on the spot, turning to look at the podium one last time before following your brothers, only a few steps behind, most of the crowd beginning to disperse

Some one practically screamed your name, and you turned in time for an onslaught of arrows to bury themselves in your body.

The last thing you saw before crumpling to the ground was Dream, Nick and George rushing toward you.

Shlatt strode off the stage, trying to move closer to your body only to be blocked by Dream’s outstretched sword.

He peered around where George had flung himself over you, “I want them out of here as soon as they respawn.”

~~

You woke to someone pressing a damp cloth to your forehead, and excruciating pain spreading throughout your body.

Your eyes flicked open, looking around at the cave you found yourself in, in confusion. When you tried to sit up a gentle hand pushed you back down, “Don’t, you only respawned fully a day ago, you're too weak for that.”

“What’re you doing here?” You groaned.

Technoblade chuckled, “I heard someone say rebellion.”

You looked at him confused for a moment before he elaborated, “This is Pogtopia, cause apparently Wilbur can’t go more than a few months without establishing a new country. Tommy found the cavern after they were ran out of L’manburg. Tubbo is working with Shlatt to hunt you guys down, and Wilbur is trying to start a plan to get the country back.”

“How’d I get here? my bed is all the way in L’manburg.”

Techno grabbed one of the baked potatoes he’d brought up to your room, offering it to you, “That’s the thing I was meanin to ask ya, is there a reasonable explanation as to why it was the Dream Team who brought your body back here? All dramatic and not wantin to leave?”

You face flushed and you turned your head away from him, “It’s a long story.”

“I’ve got time.” You brother said, moving to lean back against the wall.

You giggled nervously, “I guess it technically started when L’manburg was still fighting for independence...”

You told him of the strange glances during war councils, the way Nick had stopped in his tracks when he saw the way you looked forlorn at the burning wood, the way George found ways to sneak you trinkets signed ‘from someones special’, and the way you were never in any real danger during many battles.

You recalled your first real meeting with Dream after you had gained independence, the way he’d seemed so different then than at the signing of the peace treaty, the way that You’d received help replanting the forests, and the quiet still moments shared by the channel George almost unaware of your being there.

It was the first time you had really spoken about your lovers to anyone, and though it took a weight off your shoulders it added another as Techno subconsciously pulled out his axe and began to sharpen it.

“They wouldn’t hurt me, and the conflict that we shared was between the SMP Lands and L’manburg, not us.” You finished quietly.

Techno looked at you quizzically, “Your telling me Dream, the Dream, Mister Manhunts and smp and god among men Dream, would willingly put away his conflicts, his gains, his leverage, just for you?”

“For all of us.” You said firmly.

“That why he kept Tommy’s disks?”

“Tommy willingly gave up those disks for the country.” You muttered.

Your older brother ignored you, “That why he openly endorsed Shlatt as soon as your back was turned?”

You froze, pushing yourself to sit up, even as it made your head spin, “What the fuck are you talking about?”

“Shlatt’s key endorsement, you know, the endorsement given to the guy who was suppose to endorse Wil?” He watched as your face fell, before quietly starting out of the room, “I won’t tell either of them, but if Dream loses a life cause you find out it was true, don’t look my way.”

You fished your com tablet out of the pack that was lying next to your cot, ‘we need to talk.’

~~

“(y/n)! Thank god your okay!” Nick exclaimed, throwing his arms around you.

You hugged him back before turning to face Dream, “Why did you endorse Shlatt?”

He opened his mouth to say something but you cut him off, “And I don’t want a denial or an excuse, or- or any of that. I just want to know why you did it. Why you didn’t tell me?”

Shakily Dream pulled off his mask, looking you in the eye, “I didn’t mean to do anything that would hurt you. Technically I never publicly endorsed him, he took a piece of advice and ran with it to the people. If I had known he was going to do that I would’ve never talked to him in the first place. If I had known he was going to exile you, if he was going to take one of your lives I would have killed him where he stood with no hesitation.”

The mask shook his hand, and George gently took it from him, lacing there fingers together encouragingly.

“I know I fucked up talking to him but if he goes near you, or tries to get you exiled further, or anything like that, he’ll be dead. I- I will do what it takes to help you get L’manburg back.”

You bit your lip, still partially holding on to Nick, “Why did you tell me?”

“I didn’t want to add to the stress.”

“Also, you said Wilbur was getting suspicious, and you stopped talking to us for two days.” George pointed out.

You nodded, quietly rubbing at your eyes, “Uh, yeah, uh, so Techno knows.”

Nick stiffened, “What?”

“Technoblade knows about this- uh- us.”

“T- Technoblade, your brother, as in, The Technoblade, Mister violence, and blood god and technoblade never dies,  knows about us?” George gulped.

“He only threatened Dream, so don’t worry?” You said sheepishly.

Nick chuckled, “Wonderful, that means we get out with our heads and Dream gets to fight to the death.”

“I don’t see how that’s fair.” Dream pouted.

“Maybe I just thought it better to threaten you cause I know if I tried to take the other ones you’d come for me anyway.” Techno said, striding into the clearing.

The boys sat there looking at him for a moment before he sighed, turning to you, “You better get back inside ‘fore Wil goes insane. An’ you guys better clear out before Tommy sees you and goes berserk.”

Reluctantly your boyfriends nodded, quickly muttering goodbyes and leaving, only slightly in fear of Techno, and you turned to your brother with a sigh, “He can’t keep me locked up forever.”

“He’s worried. Paranoid even, thinks Shlatts gonna send someone to kill you again,” Techno explained, guiding you back towards one of the entrances of the cavern, “The stress is getting to him.”

~~

The days spent in Pogtopia began to blend together, the only memorable ones being the ones that were spent sneaking out and seeing your lovers, though you never excepted to see one of them within the cavern itself.

You had come down one of the narrow walkways of your new home, and when Tommy had grabbed your wrist, hissing “Dream is here! And he’s going to help Wilbur blow up L’manburg!” you were not nearly prepared to see him handing Wilbur a rather large bag.

Wilbur grinned wickedly, “This is perfect.”

“Wilbur,” Your little brothers voice was shaking, “Give me that tnt.”

Dream drew his sword, holding it up almost lazily in Tommy’s direction, “I’m going to have to step in on this one Tommy.”

You could see him smirking under the mask as you pushed Tommy behind you, “Wilbur what are you doing?”

“What needs to be done.” He said coldly, “If I can’t have Manburg no one can have Manburg!”

“And you think blowing up our home is the right move?” You said cautiously.

There was something different in Wilbur’s eyes, “No survivors.”

Techno watched this from his spot on the wall, “Wilbur I think we need to have a discussion, things like this take time to plan. (Y/n) why don’t you escort our guest out.”

You nodded sharply, starting towards the back of the cavern, “This way green boy.”

As soon as you got outside the cave you grabbed his wrist, shoving him against the rock wall, “What the fuck are you thinking?”

The now lopsided mask reviled his cocky smirk, “Shouldn’t this be the other way around?”

“Shut the fuck up! What are you thinking?”  You hissed.

“I’m helping you get back your L’manburg!” He sounded all too happy about it.

“By siding with him? He’s gone manic Clay! He’s fucking insane!”

Dream winced at the words, “He’s your brother. You have to side with him.”

“My brother is gone. I side with that man because I am loyal to my family, so long as Techno and Tommy are with him I am. If there was ever a time for you two to ever get along it would not be this.” You backed away from him.

“(y/n), I’m just trying to help.”

“I know,” You said softly, turning back to the cave entrance, “I’ll see you soon.”

~~

“Wars tomorrow.” George said quietly.

You nodded, carding your hand through his hair, “That it is.”

The month had passed quickly, and after the incident at the festival, and then Quackity’s meeting with Shlatt you seemed to have blinked and the eve of war was upon you.

You had snuck out, now spending your last night before the world changes again with your boys, huddled up together in one of the castles parapets. (It had been quite a shock to you when Dream dethroned Eret)

“We will be on different sides, how will this even play out?” Nick asked.

“Only time will tell.”

Dream, mask long since forgotten to the side, bit his lip, “(y/n), George, I want you to stay out of the fighting.”

“We can handle ourselves.” You argued.

“It’s George’s job to stay neutral, and you’re on your last life. None of us want to lose you.” He said softly, looking over Nick’s head at you.

“I will fight for my country. No one will stop me.”

“Even if Phil came back and told you not too?” Nick asked with a chuckle.

“Well-” You laughed, “I suppose it would depend.”

A while later, you began to head back to Pogtopia, your boys insisting on walking you back.

Upon reaching the cave you kissed each of them, “Until we see what tomorrow brings.”

They gave similar goodbyes, and you darted back into the cavern.

Coming around the corner someone grabbed your wrist, tugging it hard, and you came face to face with Wilbur, “Where the fuck were you?”

“uh- o- out.” You stuttered.

“Out with your boyfriends?” He taughtened, dragging you down through the cavern, past the new rooms that had been carved out recently, “When were you planning on telling us of this little fling?”

“What are you talking about?” Tears sprung to your eyes.

“Oh I know all about you and Dream and Sapnap and George! You and your fucking betrayal! Why the fuck would you try to betray me? I’m your brother!” He exclaimed, practically throwing you into a newly constructed cage.

You dug your nails into your palms, “Wilbur, please.”

“I know it was them who disconnected the TNT, who you keep sneaking out to meet, who you were conspiring against me with!” He locked the cage and you caught a glimpse of Techno, leaning against a wall looking down.

“Wil I never conspired against you!”

“We’ll see about that.” He hissed, “You’ll stay here until this is over. I may fail at regaining my L’manburg but I will not fail to kill those men.”

As he strode away you looked to Techno, “Techno what’s going on?”

“I’m sorry.” Was all he managed before hurrying away.

Tears began to stream down your cheeks as you looked around the abandoned alcove of the cavern, there was no getting out of this.

Quietly you pulled your com tablet from your sleeve, sending a messege to Phil, ‘dad I need help, Wil’s gone insane’

~~

You leaned against the bars of the cell, Pogtopia’s few members had long since left for the battle, and you were still here, trapped where Wilbur had left you, none of your boyfriends were responding to your pings, feeling utterly hopeless.

“(y/n)?” A yell echoed through the cavern.

“Phil!” You called desperately, “I’m in here!”

A few moments later your adoptive father appeared in the doorway, shocked upon seeing the locked cage and your tear stained cheeks, “(y/n).”

You nodded as he quickly began to work at the lock, pulling you into an embrace as soon as the cage opened.

“Dad,” You hiccupped, fighting back a new wave of tears, “He’s insane! He’s gonna try to blow up Manburg again! And he’s gonna try to kill them!”

“Who is?” He asked gently.

“Wilbur! He’s gone mad!”

Phil pulled away from you to look you in the eyes, “Are you sure?”

You nodded, sniffling.

Phil took a deep breath, looking around, “Okay, you get down to where they’re fighting, you try to keep Wilbur distracted once it’s over, I’ll try to think of something to stop the tnt.”

You nodded, quickly forcing yourself up, running out of the cavern.

You hurried through the woods, pushing yourself to go faster, making it to the crest of the hill as people flooded out of the van, cheering, people of Pogtopia, L’manburg and the SMP lands alike.

You charged down the hill, not seeing Wilbur standing to the side.

“Dream! Sapnap! George!” You yelled.

They turned to see you running at them, relived to see you okay, still not understanding the cryptic things Wilbur had been saying.

“(Y/n)-” Dream was cut off a yet another arrow planted its self in your back.

“Love?” You whispered, before crumpling to the ground.

They rushed forward, but it was too late, you were gone, and George early screamed, burring his face in an expressionless Nick’s shoulder.

Dream looked up at Wilbur, whos cross bow was still raised, utterly broken, “What the fuck have you done?”