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bantansworld · 2 years ago

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Double Platinum || DadKNJ Part 4

➜ Summary: “ I'm just trying to look out for your best interest! Because what if you end up making a stupid mistake that'll cost you your whole career!"

" A stupid mistake? You mean like me? That is why you decided to leave me, right? Because I was a stupid mistake that could have costed you your whole career?"

➜ Pairing: Unspecified for now

➜ Genre: Daughter given up for adoption, Becoming an Idol, Harshness of the idol industry, Namjoon reconnecting with his daughter, journey to forgive, messy one sided beef with other group

➜ Warnings: Adpotion, giving up child, Heartbreak, implied racism, strict dieting, controlling career, abusive manager, abuse, being singled out, harsh social media comments, depression, profanity, idol life, learning to forgive

➜ Word count: 3,889

[ Jaelah's Pov ]

My eyes were glued to the screen, watching his movements closely as he hit every beat with precision.

I really admired Jimin's way of dance. It was so elegant and graceful yet at the same time so sharp and precise. It was a shame that he leaned more into his modeling than he did his music, he would have made a great artist. I would have loved to see him on tour.

I paused the video on my laptop screen, and looked down at the notes I had taken, reading over them before I stood up to my feet and walked over to the middle of the floor of the dance studio.

I took my phone from my back pocket and unlocked the screen, starting the song over and pressing the play button. I quickly put my phone back in my pocket and got into my position. Jimin's voice blasted through the speakers as my body followed along with the lyrics of his song Lie, keeping in my head all of the corrections that I wrote down in my notebook that I needed to do better on as I danced along to the choreography.

As I stood dancing in the dance practice studio, I still found myself being amazed that I was actually here. I couldn't believe three months had already flown by since the day I checked my emails and learned that every entertainment company had rejected me. It was something that I could laugh at now, but three months ago, it really did hurt me. It would probably be a moment that I don't think I would really ever forget. Just the thoughts that ran through my head then, thoughts that I wasn't good enough for any of the companies made me feel like a failure. It was really sort of embarrassing for me. I felt so naïve, like everything was just gonna be the way I dreamed of it to be, but as more time had passed, I realized that I had preexisting setbacks that played a part in my rejections as well. Preexisting setbacks that were far behind my control, because I couldn't change the way I was born.

Despite everything that I've experienced thus far, I didn't have time to dwell or focus on the negativities that would definitely plague me throughout my journey of being an idol, not anymore. The only thing that I was interested in and had my complete focus on nowadays, was being the best trainee that I could be.

Because I know from following artist that literally came from nothing, that the only way to get anything in this world, especially nowadays, is through hard work and determination. I wouldn't let anything disrupt me from that. I wouldn't let anything stop me from achieving my dreams. The only thing that would ever stop me would be myself.

Looking back, I remember the day that I had finally sent in my audition tape to DRMusic Entertainment. I was nervous and scared. At the time, I just felt that if all the other entertainment companies had rejected me, then this one would ultimately end up doing the same thing. Youngheun and Dahye had practically begged me and talked me out of my negative thoughts, telling me that it wouldn't hurt to try, so I did. I sent in my audition tape and to my surprise, only a day later after sending it in, I had gotten an email back from them. Accepting me into the company.

That was honestly one of the best days of my life, I couldn't contain my happiness even if I wanted to. It was just an amazing feeling, I felt like for the first time since I was that twelve year old girl that tried her hardest to pass an audition, that I had moved one peg up in this game of life in the idol industry. I moved one step closer to achieving my dreams.

That week after I had been accepted, I went to the company with my mom, where we had both sat down with the CEO of DRMusic, we had gone over all of the paperwork and legal work that I would have to sign to officially be apart of the company. It was a part of the process that wasn't fun or exciting, it was a bit humbling if I was being honest. Taking all of those naïve thoughts that I had before, and bringing me back to reality. We talked about things that was a bit of a harsh reality to think about, but I was happy to experience it.

CEO Yoon had went through the contract thoroughly with me and my mother, being up front about everything that we went over regarding the contract. He was open and honest with us about the company, how it wasn't the best out there, that they didn't have financial standing like many other companies did. He let us know that if I did decide to join the company, that it wasn't gonna be an easy ride, being from such a small company was gonna make it harder for them to succeed and that it was a possibility the goals that I set for myself may not be met.

It was hard to hear, but I was very appreciative of his honesty. He didn't have to say any of that, he could have let my naïve ambitious self just sign the contract not knowing what I was getting myself into, and that's what made me ultimately sign.

I already knew of DRMusic, because of youngheun and Dahye. I knew they were an almost unknown company that wasn't gonna have the same experiences as a company that was more known, but I also knew what I was getting myself into. It was never ideal to lower your standards on things that you cared about, but beggars can't be choosers. Everyone has to start somewhere. If I just do my best, and give this my all. I know me, along with my members and our company can succeed. I'm determined to make that happen.

" Caught in a lieeeeeeeeeeeeee~~ " I sung along with the song, swinging my hips, hitting the beat as I raised my hands dramatically before bringing them back down, sweat falling down my face as I moved on to the next move.

I had been working on getting this cover done for a few weeks now. The members and I were very diligent about our training. We made sure to get everything our teachers assigned to us done, especially me. Sometimes the members would be annoyed with me when I kept asking the teachers to keep going over dances we had already gone over, but I'm just trying to make sure everything is perfect. I didn't want to be lacking in anything. Not dancing, not rapping, not vocals, nothing.

After I would finish with our daily workouts and vocal lessons, I would come to the studio to work on my dance. It had been a while since I've last uploaded a dance cover to my twitter account, and I promised my followers that I would post the cover by the end of the week.

Learning the dance was a bit of a task and I commend Jimin and his choreographer for creating such masterpieces. It was a bit of a challenge to learn both dances and mashing them together, but I knew my followers would love it.

For the most part, I was done with the dances, I just wanted to clean up some parts, so I took notes on the things I noticed that I was doing not so well in, so that I could do it better, so after running through the dance about three more times, applying the corrections I made for myself, I finally allowed myself to take a break.

My breathing was heavy as I sunk down to the floor, my arms and legs sprawled out as my chest rose and fell frantically. My body felt like jelly, tingling as I laid there, trying to catching my breath. I didn't want to move a muscle, I just wanted to let my body cool down before I did anything else.

Laying their after a few minutes gave my body the rest it needed before it had begin to relax, my breathing pattern going back to normal. I sat myself up, looking at myself in the mirror and cringing when I saw just how sweaty I was. My eyes moving over to the door when I heard it beginning to open.

" And here is our last swan, practicing as she always does because she's such a hard worker. Say hi to our cute lead vocal and main rapper, Jaelah!" Youngheun shouted as she came into the room holding a hand held camera, Dahye and Larissa coming in after her.

" Omg hi~" I said, putting my face into the camera and giving it kisses. " It's your cute eonnie here to give you all the love in the world." I said bringing my hands up to my face and gave the camera a flower pose.

Dahye walked in front of the camera, making a cringe face at me. I let out a laugh, pushing her out of the cameras frame before putting my face close to the lends again.

" Guys I think it's time to admit that Dahye actually hates me. I tried to keep it in but my cute dongsaeng makes it so hard for me." I said to the camera, pinching the bridge of my nose as I shook my head dramatically.

" Eonnie don't worry. I'm here for you." Larissa said to me, coming up behind me as she started to back hug me.

" Ahhh." I said, laying me head back onto her. " This is what real love reals like." I said.

" So. Anyone wanna the audience what we are working on these days. Seems like they really want to know." Youngheun said as she turned the camera n herself as she asked the question, making a thinking face before she turned the camera back on to us.

" Welllllll if you all really wanna know what we're doing nowadays, I guess I can tell you." I said to the camera.

The girls all turned their gazes at me and waited, holding their breaths, thinking I was gonna say something that I wasn't supposed to.

" Well first off, we're working on... showing you guys the best versions of ourselves! That's why we're working so hard, so when you finally get to see us in action, we'll make you all proud. So please keep watching us and please keep rooting for us." I said sincerely to the camera, giving a finger heart.

" Ahhhh Jaelah- eonnie always has a way with words, right?" Dahye asked the camera as she clapped her hands.

" Alright yeoreobun, we all hope you watch this video and be comforted by the thought that you will be able to meet with us soon! Like Jaelah said earlier, please keep watching us and please keep cheering and supporting us. We hope to make you proud soon!"

All of them members got into the camera and started blowing kisses and give the screen a finger heart before Youngheun pressed the stop recording video.

After the recording was done, we all looked at each other smiling.

" I'm still surprised we have people watching us and waiting for our debut." Youngheun spoke up, a smile on her lips.

" We really do have Jaelah-eonnie to thank for that." Dahye said as she playfully bumped my shoulder.

" Actually we have Jungkook to thank. If it weren't for him coming into the store that day and taking that picture, sending all of his fans there, things would probably be very different right now." I said replying to them.

" I still can't believe that happened. Imagine THE Jeon Jungkook delivering from your store, then coming to your store the next day. Things like that seems like they only happen in movies." Youngheun said.

" Or fanfictions." Larissa said speaking up.

I nodded my head and pointed at her, agreeing with what she said. " I literally read a Taehyung fanfic that happened just like this. It was so good. A bit of a slow burner, but it was worth it." I said to them.

" And on that note, I'm gonna take my leave. We have about ten more minutes before we have to go back to practicing. Debut is just around the corner and we need to be ready. And please make sure to stick to dieting. Manager-nim is adamant about that." Youngheun said to us.

" Yes leader-nim." I said saluting her with a teasing smile.

She playfully rolled her eyes as she left out of the room, the door closing behind her with a soft click.

" Eonnie, are you done with that video you were working on?" Larissa asked me as she went and sat against the mirror, he legs stretched out in front of her.

" Almost. I'm done with learning the dances, and obviously I already know the lyrics, it's just little things that I have to tweak to make better." I said to her.

" From what I've seen so far. They're gonna love it. The transition you made between the two songs are so good." Dahye said to me as she sat down in the middle of the floor, laying down. " I really am thankful to you eonnie, you really do bring in a lot of fans for us. I'm happy that Jungkook-shii did what he did that day, but the content you make for the fans is what keeps them coming back, so thank you, and thank you for joining our team." She said to me, turning her head over to face me with a smile.

" I really don't need you to make me cry right now. Aish, I swear my dongsaeng is the cutest ever." I said, pouting my lips up at her. " No but seriously, don't count yourselves out of this equation either. You guys post content as well that the fans love. I just think the they really enjoy it that we show our real authentic selves, so as long as we keep doing that and building with them from here, they'll stay by our side." I responded to her.

" Yeah that's true." DaHye responded. She had laid back on the floor, her eyes looking up at the ceiling. " You know eonnie, that's honestly the best way to go. The more we grow as a group and as a team, I want our fans to grow along with us. I want to try to be as up front and honest with them as I can. I want to be the type of artist that I could see myself stanning, you know?" She asked me, her eyes still focused up on the ceiling.

I smiled to myself at her words. " I understand completely. I swear that's the same exact way I feel. I don't I just want to be able to have a close relationship with our fans. Like you said, be the type of artist that you would stan, the same goes for me. I don't like celebrities who are stuck up and think the world owes them something. I want to be the complete opposite of that. I would always want our fans to know that they will be the reason that we do what we do and the reason that we're gonna reach our dreams. Even now, I'm so grateful to the fans who watch us now even though we don't have much to give right now. It's a very humbling feeling and I hope to always feel this way." I said to her, finishing my little rant.

" Eonnie you really do have a way with words, don't you?" Larissa spoke up.

I shrugged my shoulders absentmindedly. " I guess I just like to speak what's on my mind." I said to her.

DaHye, Larissa and I continued to sit on the floor, each one of us dazed off in our own minds. It wasn't long before we heard the door of the dance practice room open again, Youngheun coming into the room, with manager SungJae behind her.

" CEO Yoon called for a sudden meeting with you all. I don't know what the meeting is gonna be about this time, but Jaelah, do try and keep your input to yourself this time." Manager SungJae said, his eyes moving over to me with a subtle sternness. " I understand the want to speak up and voice your opinion regarding your career, but it is not needed at the moment. The staff and team are working diligently so the only thing you have to worry about is to sing rap and dance." He finished.

I felt the frown come to my face as soon as I realized where his words were going. I knew he was eventually going to say something to me about me always speaking up and giving my input whenever we had meetings with CEO Yoon.

I just didn't understand what exactly the problem was. All I said was that the song we had laid our vocals down for was a bit out of touch with what people were listening to nowadays. It sounded something like the second generation of Kpop idols would sing. I didn't understand the need to scold me for that, but I digress.

" Yes manager SungJae."'I responded to him, bowing my head slightly in apology.

He nodded his head at me then turned to face back around to the door. " We should get going." He said, walking out of the room.

I let out the sigh I was holding in, the deep frown making its way back on my face as Larissa walked out of the room, followed by Dahye. Youngheun came over to me, her eyes trying to find mine as I avoided her gaze.

" I'm sorry Heunnie. I'm not trying to cause trouble for us. I'll make sure to do better in the future, for the betterment of our group." I said to her.

" Hey." She called out to me softly, making me look into her eyes. " You did nothing wrong. I know everything you do regarding our group is in our best interest. I don't know what problem manager SungJae has with you lately, but don't let him get to you. Let's just do what we have to do to get our group off of the ground. Everything is gonna be alright. We got this, yeah?" She said to me.

" Yeah." I muttered back to her.

Youngheun wrapped her arm around mine, guiding me out of the dance practice room so that we could catch up with the others at CEOs Yoon's office.

" So nice of you girls to join us." Was the first thing CEO Yoon said to us when we walked into his office.

" Sorry for being late." Youngheun and I said at the same time, bowing low to the CEO.

" I'm just joking around, nevermind that. I just wanted to talk to you girls about something's regarding you debut since it approaching fast." He said to us, gesturing for us to sit down in one of the chairs.

As we did so, CEO Yoon pulled out a file, placing it on top of his desk and opening it up. " First things first. I will be sharing some names that the team has come up with that could be potential group names. I'm going to read down the list and you all tell me what you think would be suit your group." He said to us.

I was surprised at this. After Manager SungJae basically just told me that I should keep my input to myself, this happens. Isn't that just ironic.

" Alright, so we got National Treasures, Passion Hearts, Girls Next Door, DiVerse, Synergy, Blackswan, Hard Love, and that's all we have for now. Any of those names stick out for any of you?" CEO Yoon asked us.

The members and I all looked at each other, Youngheun taking the paper with the list of name from the CEO when he handed her the paper. We all got out of our seats and huddled around Youngheun, looking over the names on the list again.

" Isn't DiVerse a cute name? It kinda explains our group since we are a diverse group." Larissa spoke up, reaching over Youngheun's shoulder and pointing to the name on the list.

" It's cute but isn't it a little too on the nose?" DaHye responded to her. " Passion Hearts isn't too bad. Since we are passionate at heart for our dreams." She said, looking around at us.

" It kind of sound like the name of a video game." I said to her.

" I don't know, but Blackswan is really standing out to me." Youngheun spoke up, pointing to the name.

" Yeah, me too." I said to her. " We're like the black swans of the industry. Being over looked for the white swans, until we read our wings and show the world just how beautiful the black swans can be." I said to them.

" Oh wow. I like that." DaHye said as she nodded her head and gave a thumbs up.

" I like that eonnie." Larissa piped up as well.

" So I guess we've figured out which one we like the best." Youngheun said handing the ceo the paper back.

" So Blackswan?" CEO Yoon questioned.

" Yes." We all answered back to him.

He nodded his head and picked up a pen from off of his desk and uncapped it. He circled Blackswan on the list before moving the paper to the side and putting the cap back on the pen.

" Alright, next thing I want to discuss with you all is your stage names. It is fine you you all want to keep your name as it is, but if you do want to change it, go ahead and let me know now.

I remained quiet. I didn't want to change my name.

" Now that you mention it, I did want to change my name. I wanted to make my name shorter and a bit more easy to pronounce in the Korean language."

Lariss said speaking up.

"And what would you like to change your name to?" CEO Yoon asked her.

"Leia." She responded to him.

" I would like to change my name as well. I wanted to change it to Judy." DaHye said speaking up as well.

CEO Yoon nodded his head, writing their suggestions down on another piece of paper.

"Ok then." He said as he finished writing down what he needed to, looking back up at us with a smile. " That was all I needed for now. You girls are free to go back to your duties. Please keep working hard with practicing and vocal lessons. Your debut is right around the corner and you girls have to be ready for that." He said to us.

" Yes sir." We all replied to him, standing to our feet to bow at him as we all filed out of his room, going back to the practice room.

Our choreographer, HyoYeon-eonnie was waiting for us as soon as we walked into the practice room.

" Alright girls. Let's get back to it."

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