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marmotish · 8 months ago

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OK so the line of dialogue turned into a kind of rushed almost-900-word fic….

Never forgive, never forget

(1991 Lockdown of Azkaban)

It took a moment to recognise the prisoner hunched by the hurriedly-closed door. It wasn’t until the woman raised her head - sunken eyes glaring from beneath matted dirty red hair - that Freyja realised who it was. Gone was the proud and arrogant Professor Rakepick, here now was merely a vengeful shell of what that woman had once been.

“Well well well…” a ghost of Rakepick’s old sneer flickered across worn features. “If it isn’t the source of all my problems.”

She began circling the room, eyes locked on her former student - no, her former pawn. Here now, wandless - just like her. And best of all, the scales were definitely tipped in her favour. Her skill and speed in wandless magic far exceeded that of Freyja’s. At that, she straightened her posture slightly, in some semblance of her old stance.

Freyja swallowed hard but remained silent, slowly moving around the interrogation room’s perimeter, maintaining the distance between them. Her heart was beating so hard she swore it could be heard across the room.

“Now I know why I’m hiding in here…” Rakepick began, narrowing her eyes in what looked like amusement . “But why are you? I thought you’d be out there getting yourself into another mess you can’t handle…”

Mad-Eye locked me in here. Getting a student killed or even hurt under his watch wouldn’t be great for his career. He’s mad, not stupid.

Rakepick flexed her fingers. “By the way, I never got the chance to thank you for sending me to this hellhole.”

Freyja managed to push past the lump in her throat and finally spoke. “I didn’t mean for that to happen.”

“Oh no?” That old sneer again. “Did you ask the authorities to exercise a little leniency? Let me off with a slap on the wrist?”

“No. I just hoped you’d die in the Sunken Vault.”

Rakepick let out a harsh bark of laughter. “Small mercy that would have been! If I had stayed down there, I would have been swept into Death’s merciful embrace in a matter of days! Days!” She moved a little closer now, her voice dropping to a hiss. “But now, because you had to tell the Professors where you left me, I get to relive my worst memories day after day after week after month, and there’s NO end in sight, you know why?? Because they don’t want you to die here! Oh no! They keep you alive, just strong enough to keep the jailers satisfied! JUST ENOUGH FOOD AND WATER TO MAKE SURE YOU CAN KEEP ON SUPPLYING THOSE FUCKING DEMENTORS WITH ANYTHING RESEMBLING A POSITIVE EMOTION UNTIL YOU’RE DRAINED OF EVERYTHING THAT MAKES YOU A HUMAN BEING!!!”

Freyja was sliding her hand on the wall behind her trying to find the hidden panic panel, trying her best to keep her breathing calm. “Well that makes me feel a little better then. I’d hate to think a traitorous bitch like you got off easy.”

“You should be begging for my forgiveness, you selfish little shit.” Rakepick moved within a few feet of Freyja now, positively snarling at this point. “Whatever wrongs you think I’ve done, I’ve paid for at least a hundred times over. This never-ending sea of torment you’ve doomed me to is more than any human is meant to endure, and damned if you think I’m going to stay here - ”

“Then leave. I’m not stopping you.”

“Oh don’t worry.” Rakepick curled her lip into a mirthless smile. “I fully intend on escaping from this place. And you’re going to help me.”

“You’re even more insane than I thought if you think I’d willingly help you.”

“I wasn’t thinking anything so voluntary.”

Feeling the slightly warmer panel underneath her hand, Freyja pushed down. It didn’t budge. Freyja stubbornly kept her gaze locked onto Rakepick’s crazed, glazed over eyes. The woman was angry and desperate, which made her all the more dangerous. “A hostage? Dementors won’t give a shit about a hostage’s safety if it’s in the way of getting a prisoner back.”

“Actually I was thinking less of a hostage and more… a distraction.”

The panic panel still wasn’t depressing into the wall. Come on, come on! Fuck! Freyja frowned in exertion, hoping it would be mistaken for wondering how Rakepick intended to use her as a distraction. “I don’t get it.”

“Of course you don’t. But I’ll tell you - those soul-suckers out there are starved. They’ve only been able to feed off whatever remnants of humanity are left in this cesspit of human souls, but you - ” Rakepick stared intently at Freyja. “You are fresh from the outside. You’ve still got plenty of good thoughts and memories in that little head of yours. A veritable feast for any Dementor in here. Think of yourself as my own little living Patronus, Miss Young.”

“I’d much rather think of you rotting in here for the rest of your life.” Freyja said through gritted teeth, thinking finally she may be feeling the panic panel start to budge.

“Save your happy thoughts for the Dementors, sweetheart.” Rakepick moved forward , creating an even more uncomfortable closeness. The acrid smell of body odour wafted up Freyja’s nostrils. “You better hope there’s enough to satisfy the Dementors before you’re left with nothing but your own worst memories. And well, if that happens…. at least it’ll make me happy.”

#hogwarts mystery #hphm mc #freyja young #patricia rakepick #ask #drinkyoursoupbitch #worldbuilding wednesday #not quite what the soup fairy asked but uhh you can kinda guess what freyja thinks of reconciliation and forgiveness….

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moongurl95 · 7 months ago

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Saturday Moodboard! (Ship Challenge)

keeping up until the next weekend, would not want to flood OP's @drinkyoursoupbitch notifs with tags of this post idea, so I'll be posting the other 2 ships under Reblogs 😅

"I'll protect you, I promise."

#hogwarts legacy #hogwarts legacy fandom #hogwarts legacy mc #hl mc #hogwarts legacy oc #hl oc #hogwarts legacy characters #sebastian sallow #beatrice hayes #sebastian sallow x mc #character moodboard #i ship it #aesthetic

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carewyncromwell · 6 months ago

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"Livin' might mean takin' chances, but they're worth takin' -- Lovin' might be a mistake, but it's worth makin'... Don't let some Hell-bent heart leave you bitter! When you come close to sellin' out, reconsider..."

~"I Hope You Dance" by Lee Ann Womack

x~x~x~x

tagging @drinkyoursoupbitch because I know it's late, but here's some World-Building Soup! 🥣💚

x~x~x~x

Throughout the years, Carewyn Cromwell sent her mother Lane many letters and photographs. Perhaps she didn't write about all of her experiences -- her pursuit of the Cursed Vaults and hearing her missing brother's disembodied voice in her own head were conveniently side-stepped -- but even so, it was through these letters and photographs that Lane met most of Carewyn's eventually rather large friend group. Here are some of Lane's impressions of them, based on what her daughter told her about them.

I do have one dormmate who's nice, though. Remember Rowan, the girl from Flourish and Blotts I told you about? Yeah, she's one of them! She took the four-poster closest to mine, and we've started sitting in class together. She's absolutely brilliant, Mum.

Lane liked Rowan from the off-set. Not only was Rowan the first person who'd actively befriended "her Winnie," but Carewyn frequently (and favorably) compared Rowan to Jacob, and when Lane first encountered Rowan on Platform Nine and Three Quarters, she completely understood why. Both enthusiasm and intellect just rippled off of Rowan, just the way it did Jacob. Lane was heartbroken when she learned about Rowan's death in her daughter's sixth year, and learning that her father Charles's criminal organization was largely behind it infuriated her like nothing else could. Even now, Lane hates her father far more for what he's taken from Carewyn and Jacob than anything he ever did to her growing up, and despite being a very gentle and even-tempered woman most of the time, Lane thinks that Charles deserved to rot alone in Azkaban, just for what he did to Duncan Ashe and Rowan Khanna.

Ben Copper and I went outside to study next to the Black Lake today. Ben wasn't so sure at first, since he'd heard stories about the Giant Squid grabbing people and yanking them into the Lake, but once we put a Waterproof Charm on all his things, he felt a little better.

Lane honestly wasn't surprised that one of Carewyn's first friends was someone like Ben. Considering how sensitive Carewyn was and how much Carewyn herself had been bullied as a little kid, Lane couldn't have been more proud of how her daughter empathized with others who were bullied and stood up for them. When Lane met Ben on Platform Nine-and-Three-Quarters after Carewyn's first year, she found him a very shy and sweet boy. Needless to say, she was a little surprised when she met Ben again in Carewyn's sixth year -- especially since he now towered a good eight inches over her!

Penny Haywood sat with Rowan and me in Potions class today. Rowan was a bit starstruck, since Penny's the most popular girl in our year, but fortunately she's not stuck-up about it. I mostly just don't understand how she can be so good at talking about silly things -- I wonder if it's just something that comes more naturally to Hufflepuffs?

Carewyn befriending someone like Penny, though, did surprise Lane. Penny was the sort of person Lane probably would've never managed to befriend at school herself since she was so soft-spoken, but she was happy that Carewyn was opening herself up to different kinds of people. Still, Lane completely understood where Carewyn was coming from whenever she admitted having to turn down one of Penny's invitations -- the poor woman suffered from severe enough social anxiety that the thought of anyone being such a social butterfly was foreign to her.

The gamekeeper Hagrid invited me over to his hut for tea tomorrow. He said he remembers both you and Jacob from school, so I reckon he must be older than he looks. Maybe he's part Giant? Giants age differently than wizards, right?

Lane was delighted when she learned Carewyn befriended Rubeus Hagrid. Lane had only ever spoken casually to the gamekeeper when she was at school, since her family would've never approved of her speaking to the "hired help" with any familiarity, but she'd always had a favorable opinion of Hagrid, even if he came across as less than scholarly. Lane actually even ended up sending letters to Hagrid directly a few times, the way she did with Albus Dumbledore, Minerva McGonagall, and Severus Snape over the course of Carewyn's school career. Hagrid always gushed over Carewyn in his responses and occasionally even let slip some things Carewyn didn't tell her mother about in her letters, such as how much the new Professor Rakepick had taken to Carewyn.

I've made a new friend, though. His name's Bill Weasley -- he's a Gryffindor two years ahead of me, and we met on the Training Grounds, while he was practicing on some dummies. Rowan says most of the kids in our year know him for sticking up for younger students, and after meeting him, yeah, Bill seems like a really nice person! Bill's brother Charlie's in our year, also in Gryffindor. I gather from Rowan that most Weasleys have been in Gryffindor. She said one of them was even Gryffindor's Head of House at one point! I wonder if she was anything like Professor McGonagall...

Out of all of Carewyn's friends, Lane arguably heard the most about Bill over the years. His name was the most constant in her daughter's letters, and Lane loved him almost immediately, just based on how kind and generous he sounded. Lane was familiar with the Weasley family's reputation beforehand (the Cromwell Clan had always been very derisive about their stance on blood purity), but she was delighted to see what sincerely good people they were. Bill and his family being so upset that Lane was forced to spend Christmas away from Carewyn that they invited her to stay and celebrate with them at their house touched Lane like few other things have, and ever since that winter, Lane has kept in close written contact with Bill's mother, Molly. Lane saw Bill at Platform Nine-and-Three-Quarters more than any of Carewyn's other friends over the years, and so by the time she saw Bill at Carewyn's graduation, they greeted each other like old friends.

Bill's brother Charlie invited me to join in on a Quidditch friendly today. Andre Egwu was there too -- I don't know if you remember him, Mum, he's the one who gave me that pretty light brown coat? -- but I'm not surprised he was there: he's brilliant at flying. Charlie is too -- he became the Gryffindor Seeker back when he and I were still second years! I wish they were on the Slytherin team!

Just like with Bill, Lane liked everything she ever heard about Charlie. She especially loved whenever Carewyn would rave about Charlie's interest in dragons, since Carewyn's own interest in magical creatures would leap off the page every time it came up. Their shared interest in Quidditch Lane didn't jive with as well considering she wasn't much for sports, but that didn't mean Carewyn's mother didn't like knowing Carewyn had people she could enjoy it with.

Andre was another surprise for Lane. On the one hand, he was a Ravenclaw, same as Lane and Jacob had been, and he seemed like a very generous and talented kid. On the other, the interests he shared with Carewyn (Quidditch and fashion) were ones Lane didn't share as much herself, and Andre seemed so gregarious and out-going that Lane wasn't sure he and her daughter would have much common ground. That didn't mean Lane wasn't still very happy for Carewyn when they started dating, nor did it mean Lane wasn't sad to hear they'd broken up. After all, just because Lane wasn't sociable at all and didn't have the same interests as Andre didn't mean she didn't want Carewyn to socialize and try new things. Lane was just relieved that Carewyn and Andre broke up on good terms -- she would've been very unhappy thinking of Carewyn having her own "Evan" who had helped her grow so much as a person, but whose memory now only flooded her with regret.

Tryouts for the new Slytherin Chaser position are coming up really soon, and I want to be ready for them. Fortunately Charlie and Andre have been helping me practice, and now I've got Skye Parkin coaching me too. (She's Slytherin's Star Chaser -- a bit full-of-herself for my taste, but she's been helpful. Her father's Captain of the Wigtown Wanderers.) The main commentator Murphy McNully (just called McNully) also gave me some books on Quidditch strategy -- or, at least, he dropped them in my lap, thoroughly expecting I'd come up and talk to him more about it later. (I'm starting to get the feeling a lot of Quidditch people don't have the best communication skills.)

The last sentence of that paragraph had made Lane laugh. Neither she nor Jacob had ever been a sports fan -- the one most into sports in their immediate family had been Evan, and he'd ended up quite disappointed that he hadn't had anyone who would enjoy going out to cheer on Arsenal F.C. with him. It made Lane a bit sad to think that if Evan hadn't been so stubborn and if he hadn't been so upset about the revelation of their magic, he could've really bonded with Carewyn over their favorite sports in a way that Lane couldn't. Lane supported Carewyn’s decision to leave the Slytherin team after Skye publicly accused Erika Rath of stealing the Cleansweep she'd intended to give Carewyn, even if she'd really wished things had been resolved more peacefully.

As for getting a tryout, well, I've been meeting with Orion Amari every morning now, trying to do just that! He's been testing me, I think, though he won't flat-out say so. Instead he's been having me balance on my broom on one foot (which, trust me, is not easy!) and meditate with him for an hour at a time. Skye and McNully both warned me that Orion is a bit eccentric...and after meeting him, yeah! They weren't kidding! But still, I think Orion has good reason to not give me a tryout right away. I mean, I am only a third year, and I'm not exactly built like a Quidditch player. I know Skye didn't really think much of me when I said I planned to try out for the open spot either. And I can tell for all his weirdness, Orion Amari is good at what he does.

Ah, yes, Orion Amari. The one who would eventually, way down the road, become her daughter's romantic partner. While Carewyn was at school, she wrote rather admiringly of Orion, not just for his Quidditch talent, but for his calm and wise temperament. Orion's detached affect was very apparent in Carewyn's letters -- Lane was reminded of some of her old friends in Ravenclaw, just reading about him. Carewyn also on multiple occasions compared Orion to both Jacob and Lane herself, though, in her letters home, and usually in the sweetest ways. Like Jacob, he saw the world differently than everyone else and didn't feel the need to conform or change himself. Like Lane, he was soft-spoken, level-headed, and brilliant, and he was happiest when the world was calm and others were at peace. Carewyn even once admitted that Orion reminded her of Lane when he laughed. When Carewyn formally introduced Lane to Orion many years later when they were adults, Lane found she did like him quite a bit, especially when she saw how calming of an influence he had on her emotional, perfectionistic daughter. Admittedly Lane never understood her daughter's other half's "Orionisms" more than half the time -- but it still filled her heart up with such joy, seeing how in-tune Carewyn was with them, regardless. And it did amuse Lane, when she learned that Orion compared her to a Porlock.

I'll tell you more about our new professor in my next letter -- I promised Tonks and Tulip I'd meet them at Zonko's after lunch. (Not exactly enthused about the location, but Tonks said we could stop at the Three Broomsticks afterward, and I plan to hold her to that.)

Lane rarely heard about Tulip Karasu or Nymphadora Tonks as anything other than a unit, but she always smiled hearing about them, because Carewyn's huffy streak tended to come out more in her letters whenever she wrote about them. Lane gathered that Tonks and Tulip ended up giving Carewyn more than a few headaches since they were on the mischievous side, but for all of the minor griping she would make about them, it was very apparent that Carewyn loved them dearly. After all, no one as proud and sensitive as Carewyn would put themselves in the position to get pranked time and again if she didn't feel anything for the prankers in question.

I also made a new friend yesterday. His name's Barnaby Lee, and he's a Slytherin in my year. He was originally friends with Merula (if you can call it that -- I hardly would, considering Merula doesn't know the meaning of the word!), but after we had a friendly duel, we went to the Three Broomsticks for some butterbeer and talked for a while, and he's so nice, Mum. Way nicer than I thought he would be, hanging out with Merula so much! His family's rotten too -- I was reminded so much of your stories about your family, just listening to Barnaby talk about his awful parents and his nasty grandmother! But even with all that, Barnaby's still such a good person. He even introduced me to a Knarl he befriended at the Magical Creature Preserve this morning before class. (His name is literally just Knarl. Not the most creative name, but he's still really cute!)

Oh, Lane liked Barnaby. Not only did Lane's Mama Bear senses go off hearing about Barnaby's family situation, but she was happy that Carewyn had found people in her house who were just as sensitive and kind as she was. One of Lane's favorite pictures of Carewyn's time at Hogwarts was the one her daughter had taken of herself, Liz Tuttle, and Barnaby with their shared pet Lune the bat, who they'd rescued from the Hogwarts owlery -- that picture lived on Lane's bedside table for a good long while, alongside one of a young Jacob staring into the lava lamp in his room. Barnaby is also one of the few members of Carewyn's friend group who Lane actively invited over to their flat over the summer, and when he came over, the two of them geeked over some old handwritten notes by Newt Scamander that Lane had borrowed after a recent trip to the Scamander Museum archives in New York.

Mum, if it's not too much trouble, over the holidays, can we stop by the CD store down the road? I want to get Chiara something special for Christmas.

Out of all of Carewyn's friends, Chiara Lobosca was the one Lane became the most fond of, aside from Bill and Rowan. Not only were Chiara's and Lane's personalities very well-suited to each other, but Lane could see the pure, unmitigated love Chiara had for "her Winnie," and it just flooded her heart with so much joy. Chiara is one of the other few friends Lane invited over to her and Carewyn's flat over the summer, and they had a lovely visit over tea and pikelets. She also met Chiara's parents briefly when they came to pick her up, as well as at Chiara and Carewyn's graduation: Chiara's mother Donna in particular greeted Lane very kindly and gushed over Carewyn profusely. Lane was very flattering of Chiara in return, which made the Hufflepuff blush. Chiara didn't tell Lane she was a werewolf for a long while, since she was harbored some fears that Lane wouldn't want her around Carewyn anymore if she knew. Fortunately when she finally explained to Lane about her condition and that Carewyn had become an Animagus to keep her company during full moons, Lane responded very warmly and gave Chiara the biggest hug.

"I couldn't have asked for a better friend for my Winnie," she'd said.

In other news, Talbott Winger actually called me his friend the other day. It feels weird to hear him say it aloud, but really good, all the same.

Talbott Winger was the last of Carewyn's friends to be directly invited by Lane over to their flat over the summer, after Lane and Carewyn saw a flyer about a slam poetry session going on at a local Muggle bookstore and Carewyn offhandedly remarked that Talbott would love something like that. The three of them ended up having a really nice time, and afterward Lane invited Talbott over to their place for a proper Toad-in-the-hole supper. Lane enjoyed Talbott's wry sense of humor, which was very in-tune with Carewyn's -- Talbott appreciated Lane's extensive knowledge of History of Magic, which was a subject he'd never excelled in. He also borrowed a copy of Homer's Odyssey from Lane, after a long discussion they'd had over supper about Greek epic poetry.

I had my first Divination class with Professor Trelawney today. I wish I could say it was fun, but I found the class rather woolly. I wouldn't mind asking Torvus what he thinks about human Divination now that I've taken my first class, because I can't imagine that he and his herd throwing a hysterical fit over a clump of soggy tea leaves.

Lane was incredibly intrigued by Torvus. Although Carewyn neglected to tell Lane exactly how they'd met, her mother gathered that Torvus had known Charlie first. After learning Carewyn had befriended a centaur, however, Lane sent a very long letter back not only offering her what little she knew about centaur history, but also asking if Carewyn would pass along some of her own questions to Torvus as well.

I swung by the Prefects’ Bathroom briefly after doing my nightly rounds with Charlie. While there I saw the ghost who lives there, who’s named Duncan — I met him earlier this year, while Bill was showing Charlie and me around. He can be a bit of a prat sometimes, but you’d like him a lot, Mum. I hope I can introduce him to you someday.

Carewyn didn’t give her mother full context about who Duncan Ashe was, since talking about who he was to Jacob would’ve opened up the floodgates to Carewyn herself seeking out the Cursed Vaults, but she still couldn’t help but bring him up every-so-often. Lane got the impression that Carewyn felt sorry for Duncan since he was stuck haunting the Prefects’ Bathroom all by himself, and she was charmed by it, imagining Carewyn was so sensitive a soul that she even befriended ghosts if she thought they were lonely. Obviously there was a lot more to why Carewyn interacted with Duncan than that, and when Lane did get a full explanation about who Duncan was, she understandably was very upset, especially with the Hogwarts staff for not telling her that her son lost his best friend right before he was expelled. After the Cursed Vaults were dealt with and Duncan was finally laid to rest, Lane made the extreme step of actually reaching out to Duncan’s father asking for a picture of him and wanting to know where she could pay her respects. She was shocked and dismayed when Mr. Ashe informed her that he’d “shed” all of Duncan’s belongings after his death and so had no pictures to send her. He’d also had Duncan cremated and his ashes scattered at sea. After sending back a coldly disapproving letter making clear that Duncan had been loved dearly by her family and she at least would pay the respects that Mr. Ashe seemed determined to deny his son, Lane then went out of her way to track down as many photos of Duncan as she could from Hogwarts's staff and Jacob's school friend, Olivia Green. The best of these Lane framed and hung up near her small cauldron set up in the kitchen. When Jacob saw the little tribute his mother had made for his boy best friend, he threw his arms around her, unable to stop crying.

Thanks to Merula of all people, I actually have a new sparring partner: the Dueling Club's darling, Diego Caplan. I admit, I never really spoke to Diego before, as he always came across as overly flirtatious...after getting to know him better, though, all I can really do is laugh, because for however over-the-top and theatrical he is, I think he is actually sincere in his compliments! He acts like a total Casanova, but it really seems as though he's just the sort to wear all of his emotions on his sleeve -- the biggest, brightest, flashiest sleeve imaginable. And yet he'll roll up that sleeve and hand your arse to you on the Dueling Field, with no reservations. It's kind of hilarious, actually.

Diego was another friend that seemed completely opposite to Carewyn in every way, largely because Lane had so much difficulty imagining her overly sensitive daughter dueling seriously. It was one thing for Carewyn to duel with Bill, who Lane knew was also very nurturing and gentle with his friends and would never really want to hurt anybody, but to learn Carewyn was enjoying dueling with someone as hard-core competitive in it as Diego was surprising. It made Lane wish all the more that Jacob had considered joining the Dueling Club full-time when he was at school, since he would've enjoyed having an opponent as talented and yet amiable as Diego. When Lane met Diego in passing at Carewyn's graduation, Diego did not hesitate in turning on the charm even with her, which tickled Lane to no end.

"Careful, young man," she said with a wry smile. "I know plenty of younger women would swoon at such compliments."

One small advantage to being in detention has been the company. Charlie and Ben's dormmate Jae Kim is there right along with me, and we've been able to talk while we're working, so long as we're quiet. Oh yes, I’ve learned something new about Charlie today: apparently he sings Queen badly in the shower.

Carewyn was generally very understated in how she talked about Jae, aside from the fact that he was in detention often, so Lane surmised he was a “troublemaker” sort, akin to Tonks and Tulip. During the Second War, Lane also learned Jae was one of those friends of Carewyn’s helping keep other families hidden from the Death Eaters. Jae and Lane finally met when he catered the party Carewyn and Orion held after their partnership ceremony, and she took to him far more than she’d imagined she would after they ended up in an involved conversation about saving money on various food ingredients and household goods. Lane was very touched to hear Jae was so financially supportive of his mother, instantly reminded of how much Jacob and Carewyn tried to help her out around the house while they were low on funds. Jae now will reach out to Lane whenever he needs input on anything Muggle-related — no offense, Mr. Weasley, but Lane is that bit more experienced in this field than you are.

The Frog Choir’s been rehearsing hard for the graduation ceremony. Merula has a solo in their performance of In Noctem — I gather Snape likes the piece just as much as you do.

From the moment Lane first read about Merula Snyde, she really hoped that Carewyn and she would either find some common ground and make peace or that Carewyn would just put some distance between them. Yes, perhaps Merula sounded unpleasant, but the last thing Lane wanted for either of her bairns was for them to have "enemies." After Carewyn and Merula both stayed with the Weasleys for Christmas, Lane was a bit more hopeful that the two girls would be able to mend fences, but that hope persisted largely because she was unaware of just how much Merula was getting in Carewyn's way while pursuing the Cursed Vaults. This is ultimately why she encouraged Carewyn to consider letting Merula take the open spot on the Frog Choir after her daughter asked her for advice -- Lane thought that it sounded like Merula didn't have a safe space to sing happily at home the way Carewyn herself did, and perhaps the spot on the Choir could give Merula a constructive outlet for her negative emotions, the way that it often had for her while living at the Cromwell estate. By the time Carewyn and Merula both graduated, even if neither of them classified each other as friends, they had come together in large part because of them co-founding the Circle of Khanna with Bill, Charlie, and Ben. This made it so that when Lane saw Merula at Carewyn's graduation, she embraced her fully and praised her performance with the Frog Choir. Lane also noticed Merula eying the heck out of Jacob at the ceremony. Rather than feel any matchmaker-esque urges in response to this, though, she ended up trying to gently coax "her Blue Jay" elsewhere. The last thing Lane wanted was for Jacob to cause unnecessary drama at his and Carewyn's graduation by accidentally hurting Merula's feelings with his utter cluelessness.

"How long has Merula been sweet on your brother?" Lane murmured to Carewyn at one point.

Carewyn was unable to hold back an eye roll. "Since last year. She loved the fact that Jacob wiped the floor with me in a wizard duel."

Lane winced. "I see." She paused very briefly before saying, "...Well, that's not going to go anywhere."

"Nope."

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serpensortiamaxima · 7 months ago

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And a second moodboard for @drinkyoursoupbitch 's moodboard challenge. This time for Sebastian x MC (Anwen, in this case)

#moodboard #sebastian x mc

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mizutoyama · 7 months ago

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@drinkyoursoupbitch has created a monster because here’s a moodboard for everyone’s favourite red flag: Sebastian Sallow

#sebastian sallow #hphl #moodboard challenge

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kaze-writes · 7 months ago

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Temporary Fix

Based on this ask from @drinkyoursoupbitch

Summary: Equinox is taking its very first steps as a band founded by uni friends and Jaz and Leon find themselves just the two of them for the very first time, in a venue Jaz would never have dreamed of going. Warning: Mentions of alcohol and drugs, popular band trashing (pls don't come for me, it's for the story)

You caught my attention, you were looking at me first All that I can see's you waking up in my t-shirt If you're not hooked on anything right now, I can be your vice

~ One Direction - Temporary Fix ~

“Take a deep breath, hold it in your lungs. Embrace the fire. Find your balance. Switch.”

Jaz let out the breath she’d been dying to let go in a huff and moved, lowering her head to in between her arms as she stretched her legs. A drop of sweat loosened itself from between her shoulder blades and along her upside-down spine, causing her to shiver. The tickling distracted her, and even though she tried her best to follow the instructions she was given, she lagged behind as the rest of her yoga class moved into a more elaborate position. Having missed the teacher’s explanation, she did her best to mimic what everybody else was doing.

”Rotate your shoulders in and shift your weight. It’s easier that way.”

Blowing against the ponytail, which had fallen into her face, Jaz gave Leon, who was now walking through the rows of mats correcting positions a dubious look.

”I don’t think I can move in any way at all.”

His lips twitching, Leon reached out and lightly pushed against a spot above her shoulder blades. Suddenly, the weight which had started to make her arms shake was gone, and Jaz let out the breath she realised she had definitely been holding. She gave Leon a thankful look but he was already gone, ready to help the next of his students. On the mat next to her, her friend Mel was rolling her eyes, mouthing a silent ‘Bullshit!’ as she caught Jaz looking. They shared a chuckle but Jaz’s thoughts soon wandered back towards Leon.

Ever since she and Mel had started up their new band with him and his sister Mara a couple of months ago, Jaz had made it a point to go (and drag Mel) to the yoga classes Leon was teaching at a small studio near the MMU campus. He was a great teacher and Jaz usually enjoyed his classes immensely but something about Leon seemed off today. She had noticed earlier when they had all met for lunch in the university canteen, and the day before during band rehearsal; there was a strain to him that Jaz had never noticed before, a sudden restlessness beneath his usual calm demeanour that was entirely unlike him. She was curious to know why but so far, there had been no opportunity to find out.

As everyone settled down for the meditation that concluded all of Leon’s classes, Jaz found herself entirely unable to concentrate. She fidgeted in her seat, moving her hands from her thighs to her knees and back again. Her thoughts had strayed to Leon again, and giving up on her chance of inner peace for the day, she opened her eyes again.

He sat in front of the class like he always would but instead of guiding their meditation with his voice he was quiet today. His face was turned towards the big window next to him, where late autumn sunlight was slanting inside, basking him in its glow. His back was perfectly straight, both his feet resting on top of his knees in a lotus seat. His hands were folded in his lap and everything about him was still but it was far from peaceful. Jaz thought that he looked lost in thought, sad somehow, as if he was trying to hold on to something, too scared that it might slip away if moved only the slightest bit.

When the class was over and everyone but her and Mel had left, she seized her chance.

”What’s up with you today?”

”Hm?” Leon only briefly glanced up from the props he was putting away. “What do you mean? I’m perfectly fine.”

”No, you’re not,” Jaz insisted, trodding after him with her arms full of yoga blocks. “You’re quiet. You barely said a word during meditation.”

“I believe that’s the whole point of it.”

The corners of Leon’s mouth twitched but the smile didn’t reach his eyes and he quickly looked away again. Jaz clicked her tongue.

”This is about Clary, isn’t it?”

Leon’s shoulders stiffened. “What about Clary?”

”Have you given her your present yet? Didn’t she like it?”

“Didn’t he tell you?” a familiar drawl sounded from the door, where Mara, the fourth member of their group had appeared to pick them up. The sneer on her face was even more distinct than usual. “That bitch broke up with him.”

Jaz gasped, heat creeping up her neck. “Oh God, I had no idea. I’m so sorry.”

Leon merely shrugged but a defeated look had crossed his face. “No need. Not like you could know.”

”That’s shit, mate,” Mel said and clapped him on the back. “What’re you doing with those tickets now? Mara said they cost a fortune.”

Again Leon shrugged. “I don’t know. Sell them probably, if I can find a buyer on such short notice.” Half-jokingly he added, “Unless one of you would like to come?”

Both Mara and Mel shook their heads, Mara immediately so. Feeling like she needed to make up for her blunder earlier, Jaz gave them a look and shrugged her shoulders.

”Why not? Who were you going to see, anyway?”

”You’ll find out,” Mara cut Leon off, her grin wider than Jaz had ever seen before. “You’re going to have a blast.”

***

London’s O2 Arena could fit up to twenty thousand people, and from the looks of it, all of the seats would be filled. Jaz turned her head left and right as she and Leon made their way from North Greenwich Station towards the massive structure on the side of the River Thames. Her brows knitted together in a frown as she noticed the age of the people - almost exclusively girls - headed in the same direction as them, but her questioning looks in Leon’s direction were being ignored. She had asked him who they were going to watch again and again but he kept shrouding himself in silence. Jaz suspected that Mel had found out but judging by the cackle she had received when Leon had picked her up, Jaz couldn’t shake the foreboding feeling that she might regret what she had so blindly agreed on.

”We’re almost there,” she tried for the tenth time, provoking only a strained smile from Leon’s side. “You might as well tell me.”

”As you said,” shrugged Leon, hands buried deeply in his pocket, “we’re almost there. You’re gonna find out in a minute.”

He looked uncomfortable as he said so, and it took Jaz only a couple more minutes and a glimpse at the giant posters surrounding the entrance to the arena to find out why. She stopped dead in her tracks.

”You’re kidding.”

”They’re supposed to be quite good.”

”One Direction?” She shot Leon an accusing look. “I trusted you. I thought your taste was decent.”

”I’ve never taken you for a snob.”

Jaz wrinkled her nose. “I’m not a snob.”

”Sounds suspiciously like it.”

”I just don’t like mass-produced pop music.”

More than one girl clad in fan memorabilia gave Jaz a dark look as they passed her. Leon, on the other hand, only shrugged.

”Neither do I. The tickets were a gift, remember?”

“Good thing she dumped you. Really dodged a bullet there.” Seeing the smile that had appeared on Leon’s face falter, Jaz cursed herself for speaking before thinking. “Sorry. Too soon?”

“Only a little.”

He sounded defeated, the same tension Jaz had noticed in the yoga studio the other day having crept into his posture again. Sighing, Jaz nudged him with her shoulder and put a smile on her face.

“Stop the gloom. Come on. Let’s get drunk and see what One Direction has to offer.”

Much to Jaz’s disappointment, it turned out that there was, in fact, nothing to get drunk on. Once inside the vast arena and in their seats, Jaz let her eyes wander over the crowd assembled around them. It consisted almost exclusively of girls much younger than her, and once again she felt a pang of astonished disbelief that she, of all people, had made it to a pop concert. The people around them were buzzing with excitement - some of them squealing for their idols already - and she suddenly longed for the relaxed atmosphere of the small to mid-sized rock shows she usually attended.

Next to her, Leon seemed to think no differently. The conversation normally flowing so effortlessly between them had ceased during their wait before admittance, and the answers Jaz was able to draw from him now were half-hearted at best. She didn’t know whether it was the venue, the act they were about to see, or the fact that she was in the spot his (ex) girlfriend was supposed to sit, but the atmosphere was strained where it had never been before, which wasn’t a feeling Jaz liked one bit.

She tapped Leon on the shoulder.

”We still have some time,” she almost screamed at him as a roar went up over a roadie adjusting something on the stylised stage. “Shall we get a breather?”

Something like relief crossed Leon’s face. “Smoking area is out back.”

”I don’t smoke.”

”Not talking about cigarettes, am I?”

Giggling, Jaz rose from her seat and led the way outside. Once they had found a secluded corner away from most of the hustle and bustle, she stood close to Leon, blocking view of him while he produced a colourful woven pouch out of his pockets, rolling the dried herbs inside into a paper with deft fingers. He lit up and passed the joint to Jaz, who took a long drag, feeling the warmth spread inside her body.

”Do you realise,” Leon said after they had passed the joint back and forth a couple of times, “that this is the first time we’re doing something together, just the two of us?”

Stunned, Jaz tilted her head. “No, it’s not.”

“Yes, it is.”

”Wow.” She blew smoke into the air, trying not to giggle as it tickled past her lips. “Is that why you’re acting all strange and mood and gloom today?” She laughed when Leon shrugged, nudging his foot with the tip of her trainers. “There’s no need. I’m delightful company.”

”I know.”

”And this is not a date either.”

”I know it’s not.”

”Because that’d be against the rules.”

”Very much so.”

”They’re good rules,” Jaz sighed, passing Leon back the weed. “Focus on the music and don’t get distracted fucking around. Makes sense.”

”Rich is a great manager. He knows what he’s doing.”

They fell silent again. Jaz sighed.

”Listen, both of us have imagined this evening very differently but we’re here now, and that’s a fact. No use making ourselves have a shit time, is it?”

Tentatively, Leon gave her a strained smile. “I guess not.”

”See? Hang on.” Turning away, Jaz quickly walked over to the tired-looking set of parents standing a little to the side of the smoking area, as suspiciously close to each other as she and Leon. When she returned, she triumphantly held two tiny bottles of clear liquor into Leon’s face. An astounded look crossed his face. His lips twitched.

”You’re incredible.”

”What’s new?” Unscrewing the lid, she toasted to Leon with a wink. “To our non-date.”

Grinning, Leon stubbed out their joint and brought the bottled shot to his lips. “To One Direction.”

When they returned inside, the crowd was buzzing with anticipation. The show must have been about to start, yet there were still people lined up along the merchandise store as Leon and Jaz passed there. A group of girls was huddled around a poster one of them had just purchased, discussing the boys smiling at them from the print with flushed cheeks. Every now and again, they would cast furtive looks in Leon’s direction, who pretended not to notice. Still feeling the effect of the weed, Jaz bit back a laugh and approached them. Frowning, Leon followed her.

”Are you as excited as I am?” she beamed at the confused girls. “Can’t be much longer now.”

One of them, a tall girl with hearts painted on both her cheeks, eyed her warily. “Do we know you?”

”All Directioners, are we not?” Jaz gave Leon a sideways look and smirked. “My boyfriend here was so excited to see One Direction, you have no idea.”

”What to say,” Leon sighed and put an arm around her shoulder, not missing a beat playing along. “Can’t help getting drawn in when your girlfriend erects a shrine to Harry Styles in your bedroom, can you?”

Looking between themselves, the girls shuffled away, leaving Jaz and Leon behind, giggling to themselves.

“You take me for a Harry Styles girl?” Jaz raised her eyebrow as they made their way back to their seats. “Really?”

”He’s got nice hair, or so I’ve been told.”

”’Told’, hm?” Jaz laughed. “I’ll think about it if he grows himself a beard.”

Leon said nothing, corners of his mouth twitching as he removed the arm that had kept resting around Jaz’s shoulders.

The high of the weed soon wore off but once the show had started, Jaz found that, unexpectedly, she didn’t mind. The music was run-of-the-mill pop, just like she had expected, but the energy of the crowd was incredible. She soon bopped along to the beat, and Leon next to her was doing the same. Every now and then, she stole a glance at him when she thought he wouldn’t notice. He, too, was nodding his head in time with the music, and after about half of the setlist, all the tension in his shoulders seemed to have disappeared. He was as relaxed as Jaz had known him to be, a sort of calm to his movements that made him seem peaceful even when the whole arena around him was dancing. It was good to see him like this. It was good to be here with him like this.

Her surprisingly good mood carried Jaz through the rest of the show, and even the tightly packed tube leaving from North Greenwich Station couldn’t shake her. She and Leon stood to the side of the wagon, engaged in a hearty debate about the show. He had his hand hooked into the holds running along the ceiling, while Jaz, being too small to reach them comfortably, resorted to sticking close to Leon.

The night was mellow when they got off the station, a mellow wind ruffling Jaz’s hair as they ascended from underground. It was a good deal to walk to where she and Mel were sharing their flat but Jaz hardly noticed. She and Leon were still talking, about tonight’s show, other shows they had attended, shows they might themselves potentially play should everything work out how Rich had promised them to.

“You’re never quite still, are you?”

”Huh? What do you mean?” They had stopped at a traffic light, waiting for it to turn green. Lost in thought, Jaz had been humming one of the songs that had been stuck in her head ever since leaving the arena, tapping both her foot and fingers to two different rhythms. It was this Leon nodded his head at.

”Whenever there is music, you move. And mostly when there isn’t, you do, too. No denying it,” he laughed when Jaz opened her mouth to protest, “I’ve seen you during my classes. You’re the only one who can't seem to sit still even for a moment.”

“I can’t help it,” Jaz shrugged. Her cheeks were warm but there was a smile forming on her face. “It’s a drummer thing, I guess.”

”Music is in your blood.” The smile mirrored on Leon’s face grew wider, and a tiny bit lopsided as he pointed between them. “That’s why we work. So you didn’t think tonight was all awful?”

”I don’t know.” Jaz pulled a face. “I can’t bring myself to say anything nice about One Direction, I don’t think.”

”So you’re a snob after all.” Laughing, he stepped sideways when Jaz made to hit him. “Personally, I think they weren’t that bad. Maybe Clary had more taste than I gave her credit for.”

His voice faltered at the last words, the spark in his eyes entirely disappeared again. Suddenly, he looked so crestfallen that it made Jaz angry. He didn’t deserve to be treated like this; no one did, but least of all him.

”She has no taste whatsoever,” she said sharply, holding up a finger when Leon made to defend her. “If she had, she wouldn’t have dumped you like she did.”

”She had every right to.”

”I don’t care. She was dumb to. You’re a great person, Leon - an amazing person, even - and you’re kind and funny and good-looking and an incredible musician and if she for one moment thought otherwise...” Jaz shrugged angrily. “No idea how to help her then.”

It took Leon a moment to answer. He swallowed heavily. “That’s… kind of you to say.”

”Even though I am hurting because of you.”

Astounded, Leon stopped walking. Jaz did too. They had reached the building where she and Mel lived, and she had already been climbing the first step leading up to the front door, making her and Leon almost level-eyed. There was surprise in them, and a flicker of something else Jaz wasn’t quite sure how to read.

”What makes you say that?”

”It’s true,” she said casually, forcing herself to look away. She didn’t know why she’d said it, to lighten the mood maybe. It was always like this with Leon - he made her speak before she thought. He made her be in the moment, wholly and entirely. It was one of the qualities she liked about him the most. “Every time I come out of your classes I feel worse than after CrossFit. I thought yoga was supposed to be relaxing.”

”Peace of body and mind is all the sweeter for having earned it.” His face lay half-hidden in the shadows cast by a nearby street light but something in his eyes had changed. A spark. A challenge? “Where are you hurting?”

”Where not? Mostly here, though.”

She pointed at the top of her shoulders, right where they met her neck. Leon stepped closer, putting his hand on the corresponding spot. Her pain there wasn’t nearly half as bad as she had made it sound but Jaz found that she cared less about this than the slight pressure of Leon’s hand as his thumb brushed over her shoulder, just shy of grazing the edge of her collarbone. Her breath hitched and she was suddenly glad she had brought a jacket. Goosebumps were covering her skin beneath it.

“I told you your posture was bad,” Leon mumbled, not looking at her face but where his hand was still resting on her body.

Jaz swallowed, her throat suddenly almost too tight to speak. “You did.”

“I could show you how to correct your form sometime.”

“Yeah, some time.”

Without realising, she had moved down one step again, closer to Leon, closer to the heat of his body. Even though she was so close now, his hand remained fixed on her shoulder where it had been. She should just raise her arms and hug him goodbye, get the hell back into her flat and be done with it, but strangely, Jaz found herself both unable and unwilling to do so. She took the last step down again, now almost flush against him, as close as they had been in the tube earlier. She raised her eyes to meet his. He was watching her, attentively. She could almost feel his chest rising and falling beneath his shirt in shallow breaths, longed to place her hand there where it had no business. His lips were parted ever so slightly and she studied their curve, the dip in his cupid’s bow. She had never realised his lips were quite so beautiful. No, that was a lie. She had thought it on the very first evening they’d met. She had just made herself not think about it since.

They had moved closer still, and Jaz tilted her head as Leon’s eyes dropped to her lips, holding her breath but she didn’t dare move. Neither did he. They just stood there, their chests almost touching, his hand still on her shoulder, eyes locked in a moment that could have been an eternity in itself.

Eventually, Leon blinked twice. He didn’t move back but even so, the spell had been broken.

“Jaz, I…”

“I know.” She made a conscious effort to step away from him, and the moment disappeared entirely.The spark that had been building between them for the better part of the evening had flickered out, leaving nothing behind but the warmth in her cheeks and the strange feeling in her chest. “This is not a good idea.”

A mixture of relief and regret flickered across Leon’s face, brief but so distinct that Jaz wondered how people could ever think that he was hard to read.

“Please don’t take this wrongly, but the band looks like it’s going places and messing this up would…”

“Leon, it’s cool.” Jaz smiled at him. “I know. Never change a running system, right?”

“Right.”

They fell silent, then after another awkward moment hugged each other goodbye and parted ways. Jaz was almost inside her front door when, on a whim, she turned in the doorway and called after him.

”I had a great evening, by the way. Just don’t tell Mel I said so.”

Leon laughed, dipping his head back into his neck as he. The orange light of the street light washed over him, and even from a distance, Jaz thought she could see the sparkle in his eyes. “Still a snob then.”

”I’m willing to learn. Thanks for taking me.”

”Thanks for coming.”

”That’s what friends are for, aren’t they?”

He inclined his head, the lopsided smile from before playing around his lips. “That’s what friends are for.”

And then he was gone, dipping in and out of the light and shadow of the London night, leaving Jaz to watch after him for maybe a moment too long. Shaking herself from her daze, she turned and pulled out her keys. She hoped Mel wasn’t awake anymore.

There were a couple of things she had to think about.

#writers of tumblr #writblr #writing community #creative writing #writeblr #original writing #rockstarverse #wip: when stars ignite #wip: before the spark #soup fairy #yes I’m lagging behind #i know okay

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