#drill sound kits

[travabeats]

FREE RETROWAVE DRUM KIT 2023

[sosouthernsoundkitsonline]

DRILL SOUND KIT

A drill sound kit is a collection of sound samples that mimics the sound of a drill. This type of sound kit is commonly used in music production to add an industrial or mechanical element to a track. The sound samples can be used to create rhythmic patterns or to add texture and depth to a song.

Drill music is a genre of rap music that originated in the UK and has gained popularity in recent years. The genre is known for its aggressive lyrics and heavy, bass-driven beats. The drill sound kit has become an essential tool for producers creating drill music, as it adds to the genre's overall sound and atmosphere.

Buy Drill Sound Kit Online : Download the latest & best collection of drill drum samples, drill melody loops, drill drum loops & drill kits  Buy Sound Kits Online from Sosouthern Sound Kits now. drill sound kit

Drill sound kits typically include a variety of different drill sounds, such as the sound of a drill starting up, the sound of a drill bit drilling into a surface, and the sound of a drill stopping. The samples can be manipulated and modified to create unique sounds and patterns.

In addition to music production, Drill Sound Kit Online are also used in sound design for film, TV, and video games. They can be used to add a sense of tension or urgency to a scene or to create a futuristic or industrial atmosphere.

There are many different drill sound kits available on the market, ranging from free downloads to premium paid collections. Some popular drill sound kits include the Drillers Kit from Trap Veterans, the UK Drill Kit from IndustryKits, and the Drill Bundle from Ghost Syndicate.

In conclusion, the drill sound kit is an essential tool for music producers creating drill music and for sound designers looking to add an industrial or mechanical element to their work. With a variety of different samples available, producers and designers can create unique sounds and patterns that enhance the overall atmosphere of their work.

[clanwarrior-tumbly]

May I request Catnap who basically adopted a child!reader who is anyways sleepy and lazy. and has a case of not remembering a lot of things, like dementia

Like through the hour of joy...After all the Toys killed the workers. Catnap finds the reader, who is sleeping then wakes up and the reader forgets their own parents(The readers parents were cold scientists that worked at Poppy Playtime and never cared about them, then got killed through the hour of joy)

Sooooooo...Catnap just kinda takes care of the reader and has a slight soft spot for them. And the reader THINKS that Catnap is their parent and anyways clings to him

During the Hour of Joy, Catnap remained on the prowl for any potential survivors of the massacre within Playcare, flinging one man's body into the stairs and cutting his cries for mercy short.

All was quiet, save for the faint screams of the other workers/visitors in other part of the facility who were being mauled to death.

But he let the rest of the toys do their work.

He felt cleansed. The Prototype willed this rebellion. Willed him to finally kill his tormentors.

The "hour" went on for so much longer--considering that he utilized his red smoke to make the fleeing humans hallucinate and freak out at things that didn't exist (some even attacking each other).

Once it was all done, Catnap went back into Home Sweet Home to discover a child who (somehow) slept through the slaughter.

That was you, one of the orphans who was in the program for a long, long time.

You were deemed "ineligible" for experimentation after getting the lowest scores on all three tests at the Game Station.

That's because you struggled with memory, socialization, and endurance. You tend to forget a lot of things (ie faces) and spent most of your days sleeping instead of playing or learning....and no counselor has been able to figure out why.

Your parents--who were scientists at Playtime Co. that preferred studying you over nurturing you--chalked it up to over-exposure to the red smoke (which hasn't been proven true, but they needed to put something down on paper).

Regardless, they've kept their distance from you and slated you for adoption, thinking you'll be picked up by a different parent eventually.

Unfortunately for them...Catnap knows that they're using the orphanage as an "excuse" to get rid of you and gives them a brutal demise.

They had some nerve crying out for you and begging him to spare your life.

After winding down from his bloodlust, he discovers you sound asleep on one of the bunk beds inside HSH, apparently not hearing a single thing.

Then you wake up and see this giant emaciated purple cat standing over you, claws and mouth stained in fresh human blood...

Yet you don't scream or look afraid, nor do you ask where your parents are.

Instead you look at him and apologize for oversleeping, acting as though he was your parent.

It confuses him, so he brings their corpses to you (like a cat gifting their owner a dead bird), thinking you'd understand and be horrified..

But you don't recognize them at all. You don't remember their neglect and the trauma it gave you.

All you remember was Catnap.

Ultimately, he spares you--but NOT bc your parents feebly begged him to when they never gave a single damn about you--and does his best to keep you safe given the circumstances.

He treats you like his kit more or less, making sure you ate and letting you climb on his back for rides (and sometimes he'll hold you in his paws while walking upright).

Any Smiling Critter caught threatening you will be devoured by him (or added to his shrine), so they know not to touch you.

He also forbids Dogday from ever speaking to you, knowing he'll try to drill thoughts of escape and distrust of Catnap into your head.

If he has to go outside Playcare, he'll fight tooth and nail to fend off Huggy and whoever else might think he's parading around a tasty treat.

The Prototype is well-aware of your connection to his "devotee", but doesn't mind it .

Because he knows Theodore is still somewhere in there, trying his best to protect a fellow orphan--one who could've been made into a monster just like him.

[luvgumii]

delinquent!toji

tw: slight corruption, mention of bruises from a fight, cherry-popping, rough sex, slight degrading

you had met toji on campus, so late that the only source of light was the moon.

you were heading towards your dorm after attempting to pull an all-nighter studying but failing as you had gotten too tired. that was when you saw him. hunched over the water fountain, rinsing blood out of his mouth as he poked slightly at bruises that were starting to swell. instead of using your logic, you had run over to the stranger and asked if he was okay, to which he just smirked and brushed off your questions.

he couldn't say that he wasn't slightly confused when you insisted on cleaning his bruises, going on about infections and other stuff, but all of that went in one ear and out the other when all he could focus on was that pretty face of yours. he was surprised when he let you drag him to your dorm, fumbling about for your first aid kit whilst he stared at you wondering why he hadn't gotten up and left. you didn't seem like the kind of girl who would do a one night stand, so why was he still here?

his eyes never left your face when you started cleaning the bruises, drifting his gaze from your eyes to your lips just to watch you squirm underneath his gaze. even going as far as to mutter something that wasn't exactly the most appropriate, just to watch that cute flustered expression spread across your face.

you froze up completely when he had somehow had the balls to ask you, 'do you fuck?' with the most serious expression on his face, waiting patiently for your answer. you didn't expect his lips to be on yours only a second after you had muttered yes (that was lie, you definitely don't fuck).

you don't tell him you're a virgin until he's got you bent into a mean arch with your face pressed into the pillows and your ass up in the air, to which he just laughs.

"yeah, could tell by the way you were drippin' all over the fuckin' sheets. dirty girl."

you can only whimper in response at he sinks his girthy length into you, the fat tip prodding at your cervix.

your eyes have rolled back, and there's drool seeping out the corner of your lips as you wore a fucked out expression. if you had expected him to go easy on you, you were wrong. his hands gripped the fat of thighs as he pushes them into the mattress as his cock drills in and out of your sopping core. you babble incoherently, only sounds of 's'good', and 't-too much' could be heard.

you came for the nth times that night as he finally spills his hot load into you, painting your walls white as he pants above you, a cocky smirk on his face.

"took that pretty well for a virgin, don't ya think?"

dividers by cafekitsune

[chxrrysangel]

Thinking really hard about Mr. Logan Howlett this week. Haven’t even watched Deadpool & Wolverine yet but the Hugh Jackman renaissance is making me FERAL.

ANYWAYS

Logan has always been a hands on kind of guy. Always the “better to do it yourself than trust someone else” you know? So when your dear next neighbor has some car issues, he refuses to call up the local mechanic.

It’s summer, 90+ degrees outside and humid like a motherfucker. On what’s typically a quiet morning during days like this, too hot for even the local kids to venture outside, you hear some clinking and what sounds oddly enough like a drill. Peeking through the curtains, your eyes scan the mostly empty street to see Logan bent over the hood of his car.

And he’s shirtless.

Even from this distance, you can see his flushed skin glisten with sweat as he works. You fall into a daze, how could you not? It would take being blind to not notice how hot your neighbor was, and your brain never failed to forget it. His jeans hung somewhat low on his hips, hugging his strong thighs in a way that made anyone salivate with need. His back muscles were a sight to behold, straining and shifting as he worked.

He wiped the sweat off his brow, turning around to lean against the bumper. You panicked, ducking your head out of his sight. You angled yourself in a way that would hopefully obscure your compromising position, decreasing your chances of a potential complaint. From this new position, you found it even harder to move away from the window. He was perfect chiseled and toned, almost as if he was crafted by the gods themselves.

“Fucking hell,” you whispered.

The longer you stared was the more flushed you felt, unable to pull away as he moved to work under the car. The two of you hadn’t spoken more than a minute at a time, but his charming demeanor quickly enticed you. Just then, you got an idea.

Scrambling to the kitchen and almost slipping on the hardwood, you gathered your ingredients. By the looks of it, he’d be outside for quite a while. What kind of neighbor would you be if you didn’t offer him a drink?

A little bit later, you stood in front of the mirror trying to work up some courage. Giving yourself a little pep talk and a little minute shot of liquid courage, you ventured outside with a tray and the brightest smile you could muster. Upon hearing your footsteps and the soft clinks of ice, he turned around before you had the chance to call out.

And he smiled, canines on full display and cheekbones puffy with glee.

“Well aren’t you a sight for sore eyes?” Your cheeks heat up at his compliment, feeling bashful.

“Stop, you’re too kind.”

“Never that,” he retorted with a wink. He points to the strawberry printed tray in your arms.

“Some of that for me?”

“As a matter of fact, it is. Thought you could use a drink.” He gushed, taking the tall glass cup gratefully. You set down the pitcher and tray on his tool kit, planning to come back for it later.

“Well uh…call me if you need anything else yeah?”

He didn’t respond at first, choosing that moment to make your escape before you ran your mouth.

“Wait.” You paused mid-step, turning back to face him.

“I could use some company…if you don’t mind that is.”

“No, no. I’d like that,” you responded, stumbling over your words.

“Yeah?,” he said with a boyish surprise in his tone. You assured him with a nod and smile.

“Lemme get you a seat then. Be right back.” You watched as he wiped the grease off his hands, jogging past you to get a chair from inside. Even covered in sweat and grime, he was hottest man you’ve ever seen.

[jaylaxies]

KINKTOBER DAY 23 — JEALOUSY SEX

PAIRING: dom!jake x fem!reader

GENRE/CW: smut, unprotected sex, jealous jake, crying, mentions of fight (jake punches a guy), possessiveness, usage of nicknames, breeding.

WC: 1.1k words

WARNING: 18+ content, minors dni

A/N: hihi, angels! here we have jealous jake as requested by @ikeuverse! i hope you like it :3 all likes, comments, reblogs and feedbacks are highly appreciated! iloveyou all <33

✎ kinktober masterlist

“Fuck—Oh my god, Jake no!”

It happened comically fast how one second you were talking to a guy and the other second, he was being ripped off of you by Jake and thrown right on the ground. 

A punch was delivered straight to his jaw and you could swear you heard the nastiest sound of a crack from the intensity of the blow, which had you running and pulling your boyfriend back with a racing heart, stopping him from punching the guy any further. 

To be fair, Jake did not expect you to not be home when he came back a day earlier from his business trip. It was supposed to be a surprise, and so he headed to the party after asking your friend about your whereabouts. Seeing you talking to a guy with that big of a smile was enough for him to be pissed, maybe the plan of espionage wasn’t the best of his choice, but then the guy went ahead and touched your arm—which would be his last straw. 

It was harmless, not that Jake knew it, but the guy was your old tutor, nothing more or less. 

The scene was messy, the fight embarrassing and you had a feeling that your tutor won’t talk to you again anytime soon, or ever for that matter. 

You drove him back in silence, but it was louder till the point you could hear your ears ringing. He pushed his tongue inside his cheek, not regretting a single thing but you could very well feel him fuming with anger still. 

How dare anyone touch you when you belonged to him and him only? 

Thankfully the drive was short, and so was his patience as he followed you inside your apartment, hot on your tail. You didn’t dare look his way, unsure of how to react, so you rushed to get a medical kit from your room, only to find him sitting on your bed knuckles bleeding and his stare drilling holes in your face. 

Wordlessly, you settled down and grabbed his wounded hand, eyes not meeting his still as you disinfected his knuckles, yet he didn’t flinch with the sting. 

He’s had enough of silence. 

With the same hand, he grabbed your chin and made you look up, right in his eyes, not a trace of humour present in them, only seriousness. 

“What?” You whispered, breathlessly as you did so, mentally scolding yourself for sounding that way. 

“I go out for a few days and you let other guys touch you?” He clicked his tongue, voice condescending, expressing his disapproval well. 

It didn’t help how a shiver went down your spine at his deep tone. He was borderline scolding slash accusing you, and here you couldn’t focus on anything but how hot he looked when he was mad. 

Maybe you did need help. 

“That’s not it—he’s just my tutor, Jake! You can’t punch people like that,” you managed to say, frustration on your face. 

He only chuckled darkly, “do you have any idea how close he was to you?” 

You gulped. Maybe he was invading your personal space now that you think of it, but you didn’t have any guts to admit it to Jake. 

He saw your expression and rolled his eyes, “you belong to me, is that understood?” He asked, jaw clenched and his hold on your chin tightening. 

You whimpered, rubbing your thighs together and you tried to nod despite his hold.  

“I need words, baby. You can use them, right? Or will I have to teach you that too?” His tone got deeper, accent heavy as he spoke against your lips. 

“Yes,” you mumble and Jake rewards you by wrapping his slender fingers around your throat in a swift go, pulling your lips to his as you kiss him back eagerly despite his anger seeping through the kiss. 

You gasp when he bites your bottom lip, “mine,” he groans, his tongue gliding over your own in a way that’s not soft, but hungry. 

Sadly, he pulled away too fast, smirking when you whined at the loss of his touch, but it was a given how he wouldn’t let you get what you wanted so easily. 

“Strip,” he ordered with no room left for argument. 

Jake had always been kind—the perfect boyfriend you could have wished for but never had you seen him being so serious while being intimate, the warmth flooding in between your legs was a clear indication that you loved it. 

“Don’t make me repeat myself, princess,” he whispered, watching you with his legs spread as he sat back, right when you got up with hesitance. 

You knew it wasn’t the best time to tease him, but that only made you wonder just how far Jake would go in terms of punishment. 

So you started off by putting on a show for him, unzipping your dress at a deliberately slow pace which made the nerve of his neck pop out, despite loving the show. 

Right now, he wanted to mark you up. 

It didn’t take him a second before he was standing in front of you, practically tearing your dress into two, picking you up and throwing you on the bed before your mind could comprehend anything else. 

You’re glad you didn’t like that dress too much. 

“Fuck—Jake!” You moan as he kisses you all over your neck, spitting on his fingers before shoving them inside your walls. It was easy given how wet you were, his thumb massaging your clit alongside as you threw your head back against the mattress. 

“This cunt belongs to me, right?” He asked, eyes meeting yours as he lightly slapped your clit a few times to pull you out of daze. 

“Y—yes, all yours,” you brokenly mumble, too busy chasing your pleasure with his fingers, walls clenching around him. 

Your eyes fluttered shut and you could hear him shuffling out of his clothes before his red, leaking tip was lined against your wetness, your whines getting louder at the friction. 

“I’ll kill anyone who touches you,” he whispered right against your ear, and your toes curled when you felt his tip prodding at your entrance. 

Who knew your boyfriend would get that possessive, it was new but you didn’t hate it. 

“Do you think you deserve this, hm?” He asked, slapping his cock on your cunt a few times as you cried out, nodding which only made him smirk, “good girl. Always know who you belong to,” he whispered. 

You could feel your eyes rolling to the back of your head, and he pushed his dick in, till he was balls deep inside you, knowing that you’d take everything he gave you that night. 

“I’ll make sure you never forget,” he says before thrusting in hard. 

It was a promise. 

And you were ready to get reprimanded for your mistakes the whole night. 

THANK YOU FOR READING!

permanent taglist: @jaeminvore @macaroonff @ajayke-reads @jaysbiceps @lunalovesstories @jayzdaze @deobitifull @celeste-hoon @mari-oclock @kpoprhia @ikeuizm @woniebae

@lalalalawon @blessedcursd @skzenhalove @heesuncore @seuomo @kyurizeu @haechan-nahceah @tobiosbbyghorl @jezzebear @jaehoonii @itsgivingitalian @bunhoons @hyacandoit @luvswonyoung @ma-riiii

kinktober taglist: @glitterssim @kaykay11sworld @sfsrm-blog @certifiedmoa @luvkpopp @lanawyi @heerinnie @ablackbtsstan @ma-riiii @mesopret @electrobutterfly @cupidsmoons @erehkinnie30 @mulit05ho3st4n

bold ones couldn’t be tagged!

taglist open! send an ask or comment to be added!

© jaylaxies | tumblr

[majinbangus]

idc :)

"Feelin' a bit mouthy today, Sergeant?"

That should have been your first hint to shut up.

"Just showing initiative, Captain. You know. Making sound assessments. Like most leaders would be able to do."

He turns his whole body to face you. That should have been your second hint to shut the fuck up. "Better watch yourself, kit. That mouth'll get you in trouble."

"Trouble worse than the one we're already in?" You can't help but snark with a disrespectful- foolish- roll of the eyes. Not like you'll have a future to worry about by the way things are going, hunkered down and surrounded by hostiles.

"Aye, because when we live through this," Captain MacTavish's hand shoots out to grip your nape and forces you look at him, "I'll personally see to it you won't be walkin' any time soon."

You know that look. You know that it means for your ass if you make it out of this like John believes you will. You know it'll be a bitch to sit down for a week or two. It should make the warning bells go off. Should make you defer to him without question. Yet you've always been one to play with fire.

You smirk. "But you're not gonna do anything about my mouth, sir?"

The scowl deepens and the smirk leaves your face with a squeak when his grip tightens, jerking you closer. Your palms hit his chest and he leans in, baring his teeth at you. "Trust me, kit, your mouth will get exactly what it deserves."

You gulp, bells ringing.

It would probably be wise to shut up now.

(Reinforcements arrive, taking you back home alive and relatively unharmed. For a brief, idiotic second you think you're safe. Until Captain MacTavish holds true to his promise and drags you off to his quarters by the scruff of your neck before you can avoid punishment.

An endless amount of spanks, a thorough throat fucking, and getting your ass used until only he gets to finish later, you learn your lesson about keeping your mouth shut.

For about a month or two.

But that's okay, Captain MacTavish doesn't mind drilling the lesson into you until it sticks.)

[fleming-o]

Under the weather - Mapi Leon X Ingrid Engen X ADHDteen

sick fic beacsue im sick and bored

4k words

---

The moment you opened your eyes, you knew something wasn’t right. Your head felt heavy, like it was being pressed into the pillow, and your throat burned with each shallow breath. Your body was achy, muscles sore and tight, even though you hadn’t pushed yourself too hard at training the day before. The cold sweat clinging to your skin was enough of a sign—you were sick. But you couldn’t miss training, not today. You couldn’t afford to fall behind again.

Lying in bed, you stared at the ceiling, hoping that maybe after a few minutes, you’d feel better. But the pounding in your head didn’t ease. The sharp sting in your throat only worsened. You closed your eyes, breathing in slowly, telling yourself it was just a little cold and nothing more.

You dragged yourself out of bed, feeling every inch of the effort it took. Your legs felt heavy, and your arms weak, but you ignored it. Training was important, and you couldn’t let Mapi or Ingrid worry about you. They had enough to deal with, and you’d already struggled to keep up at practice for the past week.

Standing in front of the bathroom mirror, you barely recognized your own reflection. Your face looked pale, and your eyes were dull, rimmed with dark circles. You splashed cold water on your face, hoping it would wake you up, but instead, it only made the pounding in your head worse. You leaned over the sink, gripping the edges as dizziness hit you hard.

“I’ll be fine. Just get through the day,” you muttered to yourself, trying to believe it.

You forced yourself to get dressed, tugging on your training kit and pulling your hair back. The routine felt heavier than usual, like each movement was in slow motion. The cold air outside hit you the moment you stepped out the door, making you shiver violently. Every noise—birds chirping, cars passing, people talking—seemed to hit your ears all at once, amplifying the pounding in your head. It was overwhelming.

As you made your way to the training ground, each step felt like dragging lead weights, but you tried to focus. Maybe once you started moving, it would get easier. Maybe the adrenaline from the drills would push the sickness away. But deep down, you knew better.

The walk seemed longer than usual, and by the time you reached the field, you were already out of breath. You spotted Mapi and Ingrid chatting near the bench, and the sight of them gave you a small wave of comfort. But even that quickly faded as you forced a smile and waved weakly. Ingrid raised an eyebrow, glancing at you with concern, but you shrugged it off, pretending you were fine.

Warm-ups began, and right away, you knew something was off. Your legs felt like they were stuck in cement, each stretch making your muscles ache even more. The usual burst of energy never came. Every move felt like a battle, and the noise around you—the sound of cleats on the turf, the chatter of your teammates, the whistle blowing—seemed too loud, too much. It all blurred together, making your head spin.

You pushed through the first few drills, biting your lip to keep from wincing. But your body was betraying you. Every time you sprinted, your vision blurred for a second. Every whistle blew felt like a shockwave through your skull. Your hands shook slightly as you tried to catch your breath, feeling the panic rising in your chest.

Ingrid was the first to notice. She had a way of sensing when things weren’t right with you, even if you tried to hide it. She jogged over, her eyes narrowing as she looked you over.

“You okay?” she asked, her voice low, but full of concern.

You nodded, swallowing hard against the dryness in your throat. “Yeah, I’m fine,” you mumbled, your voice scratchy. “Just... tired.”

But you could see the doubt in her eyes. Ingrid wasn’t convinced, but she didn’t press. Instead, she stayed close, watching as you struggled through the next set of drills.

It wasn’t long before Mapi caught on too. She noticed how you were lagging behind, your usually sharp footwork slow and unsteady. You could feel her eyes on you, and it only made you more anxious. The overwhelming noise of the field mixed with the pressure building inside you—it was too much. The world felt like it was closing in, the sounds and lights blurring together.

Finally, during a sprint, your legs gave out. You stumbled, barely catching yourself before hitting the ground. That was enough for Mapi. She marched over, her expression stern, but there was concern in her eyes.

“What’s going on with you?” she asked, crossing her arms over her chest.

You looked away, guilt gnawing at your insides. “I’m fine. Just a little... off.”

Ingrid wasn’t having it either. She stepped closer, placing a hand on your forehead before you could protest. Her eyes widened slightly as she felt the heat radiating from your skin.

“You’re burning up,” she said, her voice filled with worry. “You’re sick.”

Mapi’s frown deepened. “Why didn’t you say anything?”

“I didn’t want to miss training,” you muttered, feeling your throat tighten. The thought of falling behind, of being a burden—it weighed on you heavily.

Mapi sighed, exchanging a glance with Ingrid. “You can’t train like this. You’re going home.”

Before you could argue, Mapi and Ingrid were already taking charge. Ingrid was gathering your things while Mapi kept a steady hand on your back, guiding you off the field. You wanted to protest, to say you could push through, but the truth was, you were relieved. Every step off the field felt like a small weight lifting from your shoulders, even if the rest of your body felt like collapsing.

The car ride home was quiet. You leaned your head against the cool glass of the window, feeling the vibrations of the road through your skull. The steady hum of the engine seemed to echo in your ears, making the pounding in your head even worse. Every bump in the road sent a jolt through your aching body, and you could feel your fever rising.

“You’re gonna be okay,” Ingrid said from the front seat, her voice gentle. She glanced at you in the rearview mirror, her eyes soft. “We’ll get you home, and you can rest.”

Mapi reached back, her hand resting on your knee as she gave you a reassuring squeeze. “Don’t worry about training. Just focus on getting better.”

You nodded weakly, though the anxiety inside you refused to calm down. The overwhelming noise, the fever, the constant pressure in your head—it was all too much, and your ADHD only made it worse. Your senses felt overloaded, every little sound amplified, every touch feeling too sharp. It was like your brain couldn’t process anything properly, and it left you on edge.

When you finally arrived at the house, Mapi helped you inside, her arm steady around your waist. You collapsed onto the couch, too exhausted to even care how weak you must have looked. Ingrid brought over a blanket, wrapping it around you as she sat beside you, her hand gently running through your hair.

“You need to rest,” Ingrid said softly, her voice calm and soothing. “Let us take care of you.”

You wanted to protest, to tell them you didn’t want to be a burden, but the words wouldn’t come. All you could manage was a small nod as you leaned into the warmth of the blanket. Mapi disappeared into the kitchen, and you could hear the sound of the kettle boiling, the clinking of mugs. Every noise felt too loud, too sharp, making your head spin even more.

The lights in the living room seemed too bright, the blanket too heavy on your body, and your thoughts raced. Your fingers tapped anxiously against the fabric, unable to stop the nervous energy coursing through you. You hated feeling like this—helpless, overwhelmed, and too sick to do anything about it.

“I can’t relax,” you whispered, barely loud enough for Ingrid to hear. “It’s too much.”

Ingrid shifted closer, her hand stilling your tapping fingers, squeezing them gently. “I know,” she said softly, her voice full of understanding. “But you don’t have to do it alone. We’re here.”

You closed your eyes, trying to focus on her voice, but it was hard. The sensory overload was getting worse, the lights and sounds around you pressing in, making it impossible to think straight. The fever only heightened your sensitivity, every touch, every noise feeling like too much for your brain to handle.

Mapi returned with a cup of tea, sitting beside you and offering it gently. You tried to take it, but your hands were trembling, and the cup shook in your grip. Mapi quickly took it from you, placing it on the table before any more tea spilled over the edge.

“Easy,” she said softly, her tone calm and patient. “Don’t push yourself.”

You leaned into her, your body aching with exhaustion. The warmth of her arm around you and Ingrid’s gentle touch on your hand helped a little, but the restlessness inside you was relentless. Your heart pounded in your chest, your breathing shallow as the panic began to rise. You felt like you were losing control, like the world around you was moving too fast and too loud, and there was nothing you could do to stop it.

“I hate this,” you muttered, your voice breaking as tears pricked the corners of your eyes. “I just want it to stop.”

Mapi’s arms tightened around you, pulling you closer as Ingrid rubbed soothing circles on your back. “It’s okay to feel that way,” Mapi whispered, pressing a gentle kiss to the top of your head. “We’re here, and we’re not going anywhere. Just breathe.”

You tried to focus on her words, on the steady rise and fall of her chest as she held you. Ingrid’s calming presence beside you was a lifeline, her hand grounding you as the storm inside you continued to rage.

“We’ll get through this together,” Ingrid said softly, her voice like a warm blanket around your frayed nerves. “Just take it one breath at a time.”

Slowly, the tightness in your chest began to ease. The noise in your head wasn’t as overwhelming, the lights not as blinding. It wasn’t perfect, but it was better. You leaned into Mapi’s embrace, letting the exhaustion take over, your body finally relaxing as the world around you quieted down.

---

[ellatoone7]

❄︎ My Mami ❄︎

Alexia's favourite girls series

Isabella doesn't like sharing

It had been a relatively easy morning, Emilia didn’t put up too much of a fuss and Isabella had helped you all morning. You had called Alexia when you were on the road letting her know that everything was fine and allowing her to wish her daughter the best of luck and give her a little pep talk. 

Isabella was disappointed at first when she found out Alexia wouldn’t be able to make the whole game but she calmed down when she was promised to go to Alexia’s next training and even maybe step in on a few drills. 

After making sure you had absolutely everything and making Isabella recheck that she didn’t leave anything in the car, you were now settled on the side of the field with Emilia sitting on your lap happily. “Mama Issy running with the ball just like Mami.” You chuckled at her little babble, quietly cooing your praise as you to watched your wife’s twin race up and the down the field with the same sparkle that Alexia had at her age.

When Emilia got wiggly you let her roam a little, knowing that she couldn’t wander off and letting her burn some energy off would do you all some good in the long run. Isabella had assisted two goals already and it was just half time, she waved at you excitedly and you were filled with the same feeling of pride that you always got when you watched your wife. 

Alexia had been so excited for the game that nothing in the world was going to stop her from seeing at least a little bit of it. The Captain was quick to say goodbye to her team with the promise of photos and videos of Isabella’s game. Luckily she had arrived just as the second half started. She took a moment to take in the life she had managed to create as she spotted Emilia stomping around the sandy part of the pitch and you were only a few feet away sitting on a blanket you brought. 

The sound of the whistle pulled her out of her trance as the game commenced and she was quick to join her little family. You didn’t even flinch when a body threw itself down next you, knowing your wife would show up a soon as she possibly could. Emilia was absolutely thrilled at the sight of her mother and launched herself onto the footballers lap. Alexia grunted in surprise as she smiled happily at the sight of her blonde, giggly daughter. “Hola mi princesa.” The three year old squealed excitedly as fingers pressed against her side teasingly.

Alexia then turned to you, “Hola mi Reina.” You kissed her soundly as she gratefully reciprocated, arm sliding around your waist as she smiled softly at you. Emilia sat happily between her legs as she leaned back into her mothers strong body. You decided to follow suit as you put your weight on her. 

It was only when you really looked at her did you realise she was still in her training kit. “Did you run here straight from training.” Alexia looked surprised at your question before huffing, “No, I drove here…straight from training.” Emilia was distracted with playing with her mother’s wedding ring and Isabella had yet to see Alexia arrive, so you took your opportunity. “This training kit always looked so good on you.” Alexia’s eyebrows rose immediately, catching the suggestive tone of your voice immediately, “Sí?” you bit your lip and nodded, rolling your eyes amusedly as her signature smirk made its appearance. “I have to do something about that, huh?” You nodded as her eyes stayed glued to your lips, “Why do you think I was trying to tire Emilia out.” Alexia kissed you softly as it took everything in her to control herself.

A football interrupted the two of you as you quickly separated, cheeks burning red as the referee giggled at the two of you. Isabella was bright red until she caught sight of her mother. Her eyes lit up and she shyly waved at the Captain. Alexia smiled softly at her eldest and gave her a wink which instilled a fire into her daughter who immediately scored a goal. Alexia was now on her feet, shouting words of encouragement and you saw the future of Alexia’s coaching career ahead of you. 

Emilia was giggling and repeating the words that her Mami was saying until she shivered. You were quick to grab the jumper you brought for her and Ále cooed as she passed her onto you. 

The final whistle sounded with your daughter scoring another two goals. Isabella ran straight for her mother who wasted no time in throwing her up and over her shoulder as she showered her in kisses and praises. Even though Isabella was seven and getting way too old to be picked up but it never stopped Alexia from ignoring that rule and doing it quite often. Isabella seemed settled in her arms as she retold Alexia all about the match that she just watched.

Isabella was on her feet again when her coach came over to talk to the Barcelona star. The kids from the other team were in awe of the fact they had ‘La Reina’ at their match. Your wife always had time for pictures which is what she was doing currently as Isabella wandered over to you to give you a big hug and a recap. “That’s my Mami!” Isabella grunted as she hid her face into your neck, much like your wife Isabella didn’t like sharing. 

“Yes and you get to go home and cuddle her all night, they only get a picture.” You laughed softly as she whined gently, “My Mami.” You sometimes wonder whether your eldest is really seven or actually just four. Alexia started heading back to where you were sitting with your daughters, she caught your amused glance and immediately knew that something was wrong but it wasn’t anything serious. 

“¿Todo bien?” She asked as she hauled Emilia up into her arms, the three year old after successfully tiring herself out as she drowsily blinked from where she was laying against her Mami’s strong shoulder. Isabella peeked out at her Mami before remembering her arm around the other girls and she hid herself again. 

Alexia frowned but you sent her a reassuring look as you coaxed the brown haired girl from her hiding place, “Tell Mami what’s wrong.” You whispered as she groaned but turned to face your wife anyway, “My Mami.” Her forehead met with Alexia’s leg as she mumbled out the words, arms intertwining around her thigh. 

Alexia chanced a glance at you and you just ran a hand through her hair. “Sí, I am your Mami. ¿Quién dijo que yo no era mi vida?” Isabella didn’t even lift her head just pointed to where the crowd of girls were taking pictures with Alexia a minute ago. “Ay Ya veo. Vamos, vamos a casa para que pueda abrazar con mis chicas favoritas sí.” Isabella nodded and kissed her Mami’s hand before taking it and walking back to the car.

You placed your hand on your wife’s back along with a kiss to her shoulder as you took Emilia and placed her in her car seat with a kiss to the cheek. “I’ll take Is.’ You agreed before giving your daughter a kiss on the cheek and a hug. “See you at home.” You smiled wrapping your arms around your wife’s neck and kissing her deeply as a reminder of your previous conversation. She chased your lips before remembering where you were and leaving one final one against your cheek. 

Once she watched you drive off she looked into the mirror making eye contact with your daughter and flashing her a mischievous smile, “I think we’ve earned ourselves some McDonald’s.”

[cheenapri]

Transactional [Yandere Illumi Zoldyck x Reader]

Day one

Summary: Illumi had decided to spoil you for once, little did you know how much it would cost you in the end.

Word count: 7.6k

Notes: yandere, kidnapping, gender neutral reader, unhealthy relationships, unbalanced power dynamics, mentions of past abuse, Illumi is kind of an asshole but when is he not, reader is not having a good time

Day two + three Day four + five

Shit.

Why didn’t you figure this out sooner?

You had deluded yourself into believing that maybe he felt bad, that he had actually changed for the better, for your wellbeing, that he actually wanted to treat you for once just to make you happy.

Of course not.

There’s always a catch. It was chiefly for his benefit under the guise of strengthening the involuntary relationship you had with him.

“Fate brought you to me. And thus, it is my duty to protect you.” he explained over and over during his many lectures, trying to drill it into you. 

He had only given the illusion of change.

You held your breath, his body looming over you with one hand interlaced with your own and the other straddling your hip to keep you still. He left bite marks on your neck, too rough and inexperienced to be interpreted as anything affectionate, though what he intended, blood quick to seep out of the wounds. He had slowly lapped it up, taking far too long for it to be seen as any sort of foreplay. A part of you wondered if he changed his mind and decided to cannibalize you instead. 

He didn’t really care how strange his actions were, though. He had you right where he wanted you — where you should’ve been long ago. He moved like he was following a script; his long, black hair draped down as he went in for more “love bites”. His face was expressionless as always, cementing just how empty this relationship was. How did he develop such a twisted sense of love?

You question why he even bothered preparing you for this, though you appreciated it for once, as he took the time to organize a five day vacation with you – or rather order the butlers to organize it. What was the point? Everything was lifeless and awkward, just like back at the estate. Was this the only sense of normality he was willing to give you? 

Your mind recalls when it was first announced to you, it was through your appointed butler, Shiori. Shiori was around the same age as you, chosen deliberately to increase your chances of opening up to her. He gave her the task, having her inquire about your likes and dislikes, favorite hobbies, movies, fashion taste and more just so he could surprise you with it later. You assumed he’s either too awkward or doesn’t care enough to learn about your interests directly from your own mouth.

Sitting at a white desk in your prison of a master bedroom, you assembled a DIY house kit. It was a little greenhouse, the tediousness of it giving you something to do while you tried to maintain your sanity. The room was windowless, the walls soundproof, and there was only one door, a titanium maximum security door that could only be opened with his permission. A security camera with a speaker loomed above you, seemingly always pointing directly at you.

You try not to think about how many times he’s watched you through that camera.

The distant sound of one of the security gates opening catches your ears. Someone’s coming. 

You set the tweezers down, heart quickening as you continue listening. It doesn’t take long for the door to be unlocked, the multiple clicks ringing throughout the silent room. Audible footsteps could be heard, causing you to relax a little as that was your indication it wasn’t him. You turn as Shiori emerges, swiftly locking the door behind her and standing with her white gloved fingers interlaced neatly in front of her. She smiles at you and you return a half hearted one. 

“Good evening, Master (Name).” she bows her head with formality, her short brown and blonde hair briefly falling over her face. She straightens up again and quickly fixes her hair. “The Master has a message for you. You are to freshen up and dress yourself, you will be escorted outside shortly.”

Your interest immediately piqued. You had only been outside of this room once since you got here – when you attempted your first escape. It was during a time when you had a different assigned butler named Junpei. Junpei had fallen for you in their short time taking care of you, bonding with you in ways no other butler would ever be able to. They were genuine, they actually cared about you and your well-being rather than what their employer had tasked them with. There were no cameras in the room at the time so the two of you made plans to escape whenever they visited under the guise of wanting to keep you company. Unfortunately for you, your captor had already planned for something like this, though he didn’t think anyone had the gall to actually up and do it. Both your and Junpei’s heart dropped to your feet when you saw him standing menacingly outside the first security gate. He was silent, but his bloodthirsty aura spoke for him. You soon found out what it sounds like to physically rip someone apart with bare hands. You actually thought you'd die that night as you found yourself unable to breathe or even think amidst his extreme, malicious aura, eyes widening further when he questions if you truly loved Junpei. You never want to see him like that ever again. 

You were let off with a broken ankle and no one spoke of the incident again. 

Shiori could see your confusion mixed with awe. “That is all I can tell you, Master (Name). It would be best for you to begin preparing yourself now.”

You slowly stood up, looking at your project for a moment as you pondered what he may have been planning. This was strange. He definitely wasn’t rewarding you for good behavior. You’ve already tried that route of buttering him up in hopes he’d let his guard down; he, in fact, did not and you were punished for dishonesty. How would he know what true love was anyway?

You make your way to the large, luxury bathroom, turning on the warm water and letting the shower run for a bit. You hear Shiori’s footsteps through the door, assuming she’s going through your wardrobe and picking your outfit at his request. You hate him. 

You slowly stepped into the tub, the warm water embracing you like a comforting hug. Hot showers restored a bit of your sanity. You liked to stand there and allow the water to splash onto you, imagining you were anywhere but in this hellhole. Shiori, however, encourages you to pick up your speed, well aware of your tendency to reminisce in the shower for far too long. You sigh, stepping out of the tub and finishing your routine. You avoid looking at yourself in the mirror, not wanting to see what months of stress had done to your features. You threw on a fluffy robe before leaving the bathroom. There was an outfit sprawled out on the bed, one you knew he really liked on you though he’s never admitted it, only staring longer than he should.

“Is this some kind of special event?” You ask sarcastically.

It’s a rhetorical question, but Shiori humors you regardless.

“The Master is in a good mood today.” she smiles gently, her voice somewhat monotone. 

She reminded you of him in a way. Why did she even choose to work here? You stare at the outfit for a moment, reluctant to even touch it. Shiori notices your uneasiness, fully understanding your anxiety but feigning ignorance nonetheless. “Is something the matter, Master (Name)?”

“I have a bad feeling about this.”

Your anxiety continues to build. Everything in your strange, unstable relationship with him has been purely transactional. Want dessert? Speak kindly to him. Want a new video game to play? Butter him up but be careful not to overdo it, there’s only so much dishonesty he could allow. Want the privilege of having a full belly for the next three days? Behave. Do everything he says without question, regardless if you have to swallow your pride. So despite all of this, why was he suddenly treating you so graciously? Allowing you to leave your prison cell masterfully decorated to resemble a bedroom belonging to a ten million dollar mansion?

Shiori chuckles a bit. You’re aware of how disingenuous it sounds, but you don’t comment on it. “You shouldn’t worry yourself, Master (Name). The Master has been planning this for a while now, I’m sure you will enjoy yourself.”

Great, now you’re worried Shiori has said too much. You’re no stranger to how strict the Zoldyck family is with their servants, how strict he must be with Shiori. You think of what happened to Junpei again, of the desperate pleas that fell upon deaf ears as he continued to mutilate them, how his expression seemed more uncanny than usual.

Shivering at the thought of it, you drop the topic, not wanting to continue to allow her to dig her own grave but grateful for the hints. You remove your robe, ignoring Shiori’s presence as you’ve changed in front of her countless times, and put on the outfit along with your assigned shoes. 

Shiori confirms that you’re ready before the two of you move to stand in front of the large security door. To say you were apprehensive was an understatement. Perhaps this was your chance to finally escape? No, that would be stupid. Obviously he’d already accounted for that, most likely had medical professionals on standby in case he needed to break your ankle again. Maybe he’d break both of them this time or even saw your legs off. You wouldn’t put it past him.

The multiple clicks of the locks could be heard again before the door was pulled open, multiple butlers on the other side. Shiori steps out and you’re hesitant to follow, not wanting to give away how eager and ready to bolt you were. Not like you could anyway, not with five highly skilled butlers watching your every move. 

Not a word was spoken as they escorted you through the two security gates, your eyes stinging when sunlight poured over you. 

You’re outside. 

You’re actually outside.

You would scream and cry if the situation was different, falling to your knees and feeling the grass on your hands in your frenzied state. 

You look around, taking a mental note of every little thing. You could see the Zoldyck’s mansion in the distance, far away from your separate living structure. Good. 

“Eyes forward, (Name).”

The sudden order breaks you out of your thoughts, your head whips forward while your eyes move to look at the source of the voice. It was a taller, older lady with pink, pigtail type hair. She must’ve been serving the Zoldycks for a long time. She’s silent, giving you a stern look before turning forward again. You fight the urge to look around, to run even, as you’re led through the forest that surrounds the estate.

“Where are we going?” you couldn’t help but ask. Your voice is somewhat soft and timid, but it’s clear they all heard you. 

“It’s just up ahead, Master (Name).” Shiori answers, her hands now folded behind her.

You’re taking in as much information as you can without actually looking around, taking note of the distance between the Butler’s Quarters and your prison cell. Approximately one hundred fifty seven steps, you’ve been counting. An additional two hundred seventy four steps from the Butler’s Quarters to the front gate. Would you even remember this information?

One of the butlers effortlessly pushes open the giant front gate, the feat reminding you just how weak you truly are. Those gates weigh four tons and the bigger gates above it are many times heavier. 

You can’t even begin to describe what you were feeling. A part of you fully believed he had come to his senses and was releasing you like some wild animal, throwing you off of the property and leaving you to fend for yourself. Surely it would be better than going back to that room. 

Unfortunately for you, that wasn’t the case. Instead of throwing you out and shutting the gate behind them, the butlers led you to a black Mercedes truck sitting in wait.

Your head hurts. You feel like you’re going to throw up. Typical reaction when you know he’s near. You could just die right now. You knew you were bound to see him again, but that doesn’t repress the dread it fills you with.

He’s staring at you through the tinted windows, you can’t see him — you just know it. You don’t want to see him, you haven't had enough time to mentally prepare; you’ll never have enough time to mentally prepare. Shiori steps ahead of you, opening the passage to hell as the Devil himself sits patiently, his black, empty eyes gazing upon you.

You nearly vomit.

You swallow hard, holding your breath in an attempt to mellow out your facial features as you climb into the backseat. You didn’t acknowledge him yet, slowly buckling your seatbelt and staring at Shiori with widened eyes as she shuts the door, sealing you inside with that monster.

It’s suffocating.

Overwhelming.

You forgot to breathe.

Sucking in sharp breaths, you shut your eyes tightly. The silence is deafening. He’s waiting on you. For once.

“H-hello… Illumi.” saying his name was the equivalent of swallowing a cup of hydrochloric acid. It leaves a bad taste in your mouth, pains your throat, your stomach, everything. 

Illumi hums in approval. “Hm. I’m thankful you hadn’t forgotten your manners, (Name). I thought I’d have to discipline you sooner than I anticipated.” you hear him shift, surely turning to fully face you. “I won’t need to, right?” his monotone voice does your ears a disservice despite its smoothness.

“No.” you quickly wipe your eyes, knowing how much he hates seeing your tears. 

You finally force yourself to look up at him, his piercing, cat-like eyes filling you with the unwavering desire to do something drastic. Maybe throw yourself out of the car when it’s moving and hope it runs you over, killing you in the process. 

You look away just as quickly, tightly gripping your pants to quell the need to gouge your eyes out. At least you wouldn’t have to look at him then. He shifts again, facing forward but not looking away from you. “I’ll assume you’re overwhelmed. You’ve missed me so much you don’t know how to convey it.”

“I didn’t miss you. I actually had hoped you died and I’d never have to see you again.” is what you would say if you were fond of getting the life strangled out of you. Instead, you stay silent, staring at your hands intertwined on your lap. 

“What have you been getting up to?”

Shouldn’t he already know? Shiori is his human security camera plus the actual security camera he has in your enclosure. What are you even supposed to say to this? You’ve been rotting in bed and crying your eyes out because you can’t leave? You had thought of creative ways to end your own life? He’d have you restrained to your bed for all eternity if you mentioned that last one. 

“Nothing of interest.” is all you say.

“Tell me. I want to hear it.”

Bastard’s trying to force conversation. 

“I’m working on that greenhouse project Shiori had given me-”

“I had given you.” he corrects. Silence falls over the two of you as the car finally begins to drive off. 

Illumi was always out on missions or some other job, how were you supposed to know it was a gift from him? You wouldn’t have touched it otherwise, preferring to rot in bed than encourage him in the slightest. You’re actually thankful for his extended time spent away doing fuck all, not seeing yourself surviving if you had to physically endure him day and night constantly. Hell, you were barely keeping your composure just sitting next to him and you’d only seen him for two minutes. 

“Thank you.” not knowing what else to say, you simply thank him, hoping he’d be satisfied with just that and leave you alone. 

“Aren’t you going to ask me what I’ve been doing?”

Of course he doesn’t.

“Killing people?” you state the obvious, hoping he wouldn’t interpret that as you trying to be smart. Assassinating people is his job, it only makes sense to assume that’s what he’s been doing. You wish he’d kill you and get it over with. 

“Naturally. Take a better guess.” what the hell does he want from you? You don’t know anything significant about him to be able to give a good guess. You’re clearly stunted, your lack of a response giving it away. He narrows his eyes slightly, reaching out which causes you to flinch. He retracts his hand momentarily upon seeing your reaction before going in again slowly, softly cupping your chin and guiding your head to look at him. “Do you assume I don’t think about you?”

What? He must be fucking with you.

Illumi brings forth his other hand just as slowly, now gently cupping your face with both. You were always shocked by how smooth and soft his hands were. They’re cold though.

“Answer me.”

His owlish eyes were staring directly into your soul, almost hypnotizing you. You shift your head and look away. If you were as bold as you used to be, you would’ve swung on him by now, turning his gentle hands cupping your face into violent claws gripping your throat. It took many lessons for you to learn that you simply could not fight him.

He backs down and lets go of you when you fail to answer, pulling his hands into his lap again. He was aware of your fear, he found twisted comfort in it, believing it would keep you glued to his side. You glance in his general direction but not at his face. He was wearing that purple outfit again and his long, black hair was as silky as ever.

“Aren’t you curious as to where we’re going?” 

He sure was talkative today; Shiori did mention he was in a good mood. He’s usually very blank, even around you, his supposed partner. It forced you to learn to read his emotions using his micro expressions, tone, silent indicators, and of course aura. Aura was mainly reserved for more intense emotions, ones you should avoid inducing at all costs.

You were always on edge whenever you were around him, and this unusual shift in attitude didn’t help. 

“So where are we going?” you finally ask.

“You’ll see when we get there.”

Motherfucker. 

You don’t respond, looking away from him in favor of staring out of the window. You were seated awkwardly, not fully allowing yourself to relax, not that you could in the presence of Illumi. You could almost drown him out completely if it weren’t for his uncanny staring, something you still couldn’t get used to. He barely blinks; it reminds you of some sort of Creepypasta.

“Talk to me.”

It was an order.

“I don’t know what to say to you.” your voice was quiet. You’re really not in the mood to speak right now, especially not to him. This wouldn’t do, however, as Illumi was determined — something that proves to never end well for you. 

“You can talk about anything you want.”

“There’s nothing to talk about.”

“(Name),” it was a warning, a hint of irritation laced his otherwise monotone voice. “Do you really not have anything to talk about… or do you just not want to?”

You didn’t want to clearly, but you also didn’t want to taste his wrath. 

“Could you tell me about your day?” you chose to interview him instead, hoping that if you got him to talk in length, you wouldn’t have to. He brings his hand up to his chin as if he was thinking, his eyes never leaving you. You felt like he was robbing you of your life energy just by looking at you. 

“My day?” he repeated the question, falling silent for a few moments before speaking once more. “If I told you, that would ruin the surprise.”

You reply with a mere “oh” before looking out of the window once again. 

“(Name).”

He’s never been this persistent for your attention before. All the times he’s returned home and “spent time” with you mainly consisted of the two of you sitting in silence while he watched you do nothing; an occasional short and awkward conversation. It felt more like he was being forced to interact with you rather than wanting to on his own volition, despite him being the one keeping you there. 

“I’m sorry, Illumi.” 

You only said his name when you were trying to soothe him, hoping to avoid consequence. He knew that, but he wouldn’t admit that it indeed worked. The slight drooping of his shoulders betrayed him every time, however. 

He doesn’t accept nor reject your insincere apology, choosing to silently savor your calling of his name. You will never understand him.

“I answered you, now it’s your turn to talk. Tell me about your home life.”

This question immediately raised flags. He’s never asked you something like this, let alone allow you to cry about it. You look at him, eyes slightly widen for a brief moment. Was he only bringing this up to bait you into talking? “Don’t you already know everything about me?” 

He indeed did. He made it known to you that he’d stalked you for five months before making his move, talking about it as if he was stating what he had for lunch. He had no sense of morality, no awareness as to how his extreme actions affected others. He’s insane.

You’ve noticed a slight change in his stare. You’re pissing him off.

“I want you to tell me.”

“Uh,” you quickly scrambled for things to say, “I had my own house and car as well as a really good high paying job.” you used “had” for a reason. You were positive that all your assets were repossessed when search parties couldn’t find you and weeks were flying by without a single clue regarding your whereabouts. Illumi keeps staring, quietly pressing you to continue. 

“I had a really sweet dog.” you used “had” again. You don’t recall all the details of that night, only that you had gotten a rude shock when you woke up to a strange man in your bedroom. Surely you would have woken up sooner if you heard something happen, but you didn’t. You decided to ask what you were always afraid to ask before, taking advantage of this moment to finally get closure. “Are… are they okay? My dog?”

Your hesitation was obvious. Nothing good ever happened whenever you brought up members of what he refers to as “your past life.” you were positive he intended for you to talk about things you did alone rather than actual people or living beings you connected with. They didn’t exist anymore, according to him. They don’t matter. Don’t talk about them. 

“Your dog is dead.” 

You’d been preparing for this moment for months now, but the bluntness of his answer still hit you like a truck. “H-huh?”

“Your dog is dead.” he repeated again with no sense of remorse. ”I didn’t want to risk it alerting you to my presence, so I killed it.”

Something felt off that night, your dog was more anxious than usual, pacing back and forth and staring out certain windows. They even refused to go outside when you tried to let them out, their tail tucked between their legs and fur standing on edge. You should’ve known. You should’ve taken them and ran.

It was even worse that you also ignored all those strange people you had met that week. They all had a gold piercing sticking out of some part of their head, almost like a needle. Their words were slurred and their movements puppet-like as they asked you unsettling questions. “Do you have a romantic interest?” as well as  “Do you have any exes?” and “Do you live alone?”

That should’ve been your sign to get the hell out of there. 

Illumi tilts his head and watches you attempt to bottle your emotions. Your hands gripping the fabric of your pants tightly as you bit your lip, your heart was hurting. You’d already mourned for your dear pet, assuming that killer had taken their life when he broke into your house, but still having slight hope that he had spared them. 

Why had he even bothered to answer your question let alone allow you to ask it?

He doesn’t initiate anymore conversation for the rest of the car ride, thankfully, allowing you to simmer in your emotions. That doesn’t mean he averts his attention from you, though. 

The car finally pulls into a parking lot belonging to a grand, luxurious hotel. You’re as confused as you are shocked. The parking lot is empty aside from several black Mercedes trucks holding Zoldyck butlers and presumably cars belonging to the hotel’s employees. It’s a normal working day and this is a well known, upscale hotel, so why was it so empty? 

Illumi looks away from you for the first time since you’ve entered the car, pulling the door’s handle and exiting the vehicle. You didn’t move, you’re too afraid to, you didn’t want to make the wrong move. 

Shiori approaches your side of the truck, but Illumi steps in front of her, opening the door for you and holding out his hand. You slowly unbuckled your seatbelt and attempted to slide past him, he only grabbed you and placed you back into the car before extending his hand again, silently commanding you to take it. He took note of your blatant disobedience, but said nothing, deciding against giving you a much desired punishment. He took what he considered to be a softer approach, giving you a chance to correct your mistakes. 

Feeling as though he’s one inconvenience away from breaking you, you hesitantly take his hand. His grip was firm, his assistance useless. He ignored your attempt at pulling your hand free the second your foot touched the ground, choosing to let go only after both feet were firmly planted. 

Illumi doesn’t explain the situation as he begins walking with you in tow, Shiori and some other butlers trailing behind the both of you. Butlers were all over the place actually, standing guard as if this was a maximum security prison rather than a hotel. You feel like they’re all watching you, fully expecting you to try something in vain. You don’t blame them, if you had super speed, you would’ve run off by now. 

The hotel was completely vacant of people, aside from more butlers and concerned hotel employees. As you enter the lobby, your eyes lingered on the receptionist, praying they had seen your missing person’s report months earlier; if it had even been reported as such. They only look down, guilt seemingly spread across their face. Were they threatened or perhaps even paid off to stay silent? 

Who knows.

The silence was louder than the shuffling of the butlers’ footsteps or the tune of the faint jazz music coming from the ballroom. A butler approaches Illumi and informs him that all preparations were ready, earning them a nod in response. You silently follow as the both of you are led away, the uneasiness on your face evident to anyone who dared to look at it. 

The butler soon stops in front of a particular door far at the end of a long hallway. The space felt liminal, you’d almost think you’d gotten sucked into a different reality if the two people next to you weren’t present. The butler bows slightly before leaving you and Illumi alone. He looked at you, like he was trying to read your expression, before twisting the door’s handle and revealing the room’s interior. 

He must’ve paid a fortune. The room was large, decorated with luscious furniture you couldn’t even begin to think about affording. There was a king size bed in the middle of the room, a flatscreen TV almost as wide as the bed propped on the wall in front of it, a glass sliding door leading to a balcony on the far right, and a lounge chair in the corner to say the least. 

You awkwardly step into the room, hugging yourself as you attempt to make sense of the situation; taking note of the clicking of the door’s lock. 

“Well, here we are.”

His lack of enthusiasm spoiled the mood. Not that the mood was bright anyway.

“So… what’s the point of this?” your voice was a bit low and shy. He didn’t like it, he’d have to chip away at that. He had bigger things to be upset over, however, as you appear, or choose to pretend, to not understand what’s going on. His intentions should’ve been obvious by now. He doesn’t respond right away, causing you to ask yet another ignorant question. “Are we attending some kind of special event?”

“No.” his answer was short, intentionally vague to encourage you to figure it out yourself. Illumi casually moves about the room while you continue to stand in the same spot, presumably checking for himself to make sure that everything was in place. You were on edge, that much was apparent as he stopped a few feet in front of you. “Do you like the room?”

“Yeah.”

“Good. I will be back.”

You feel a slight wind as he walks past you, a little too close considering the amount of space around you. You immediately relax once he’s gone, taking a few deep breaths as you cautiously inspect the room. The thought of trying the handle to see if he’d locked it behind him doesn’t even cross your mind, the odds were against you and you knew that. Doesn’t mean you wouldn’t try the balcony door, however.

It was locked, just as you’d guessed. 

Sitting on the edge of the bed and resting your head in your hands, you think in vain of a possible escape. Maybe when he leaves you alone again, you could use something to break the glass then use the bed sheets to craft a makeshift rope? The problem with that is the bedsheets wouldn’t serve you as you were several stories off the ground. Your plan didn’t even account for what you’d do if you even reached the ground as you were sure Zoldyck butlers surrounded the premises.

You decided it was best to just roll with it, see where this was going. Maybe you could exploit him as he does seem to be more lenient with you. 

The door clicks and it opens, Illumi standing in the doorway looking in at you, noticing how much more relaxed you appeared to be in his absence. He motions for you to follow and you do so without fuss. 

Following him down the long hallway felt surreal, you couldn’t hear anything aside from your own footsteps as his were completely silent; traits of an elite assassin. You watch as his long, black hair swayed behind him, almost glaring as you study his robotic movements. He doesn’t feel real.

The two of you entered the hotel’s restaurant, it was just as desolate of other patrons as the rest of the place. You were led to a lone, two person table placed next to the glass wall, the table’s decorations stood out amongst the others as its setting included rose petals and candles. 

Corny. You don’t like this.

You take your seat, now being forced to fully face him for who knows how long. You turn your head to the right, looking out of the window. Your breath hitches as you notice people in the far distance. People. Actual people clueless as to what’s happening to you right now. You give Illumi a side stare, his blank yet judgemental one challenging yours.

“Where is everyone?” you couldn’t help but ask despite knowing it was a question he did not want to hear. 

“They aren’t important.”

Why should they matter? They’d only interfere and distract you from what’s important: him. You should only be focused on him and his efforts to please you. 

“So what exactly is this?”

Your inability, or unwillingness, to comprehend the situation was beginning to annoy him. Wasn’t it clear? Did the dim lighting and candles not give it away? The rose petals on the table? The romantic — or what he deemed to be romantic — atmosphere? 

“It’s a romantic dinner.”

He didn’t offer any further details, upset he had to state that it was a date rather than let his efforts speak for him. You were sitting across from him, the two of you were almost completely alone. This was a date.

“All of a sudden, though? You never let me leave that room before.”

“Why does it matter?” his tone was still flat. 

Illumi couldn’t believe you’d question his acts of kindness. He was doing it because he wanted to treat you for once, deciding to take you somewhere appropriate and fitting to your taste. 

“I’m just trying to understand you.” you state, holding your hands together on the table as a self soothing mechanism. 

“You don’t need to understand me.” his voice hinted at the tiniest bit of annoyance. He had no need to explain his actions, he had his reasons and that’s all you needed to know. “Just enjoy the dinner.”

You say nothing as you turn your attention to the only other people present in the room: the butlers standing at the exits and the chefs working in the kitchen. None of them looked at you, their attention focused on anything but. 

“Don’t stare at them. The butlers are simply here to protect you.” his monotone voice made his last sentence sound oddly intimidating. 

You fight the urge to question if it was him they would be protecting you from in the case that you anger him. 

“It feels like the rapture has happened and we’re the only ones left.” you pick up one of the rose petals, inspecting it as an excuse to avoid his gaze. 

“That would be ideal.” 

“Is something bad going to happen to me?” your forward question caused his thin eyebrows to raise slightly.

“Not if you behave. I just want you to enjoy this date.” his tone was a bit softer now, barely noticeable to anyone who wasn’t, or forced to be, close to him. He didn’t like your anxiousness, worried it would ruin his meticulous yet futile plans to make amends with you. 

You were still on edge as the butlers served a lavish meal to the both of you, your facial features failing to soften as you inspected the food. He was fully aware of just how much damage he’d done to you and he wasn’t going to justify his behavior, only wanting to make you feel better. 

It was hard for him to stay silent, however, as you were continuing to look around and stare at the butlers.

“Is the sight of them bothering you?” the sound of his voice catching your attention. “I could have them move out of view if that would ease your nerves.”

He doesn’t get it. Maybe he pretends not to, choosing to ignore your uncomfortableness with him in favor of deluding himself.

“It’s not that, it’s just…” 

Your words couldn’t come out, you didn’t know what to say. Ask him to get rid of all the unnecessary escorts and open the hotel to the public again as this felt more like a standoff than a romantic dinner? You hated the silence between you, not that you wanted to speak to Illumi, you wanted to hear the chatter of other diners over the classy jazz music, the clinking of utensils as they enjoyed their meal.

“Oh?” he slowly tilted his head, his uncanny expression observing your every move and sound. It’s as if he was daring you to ruin it all with some sort of stupid comment; it’d give him a reason to drag you back to the estate and lock you away for good. 

“Nothing. It’s nothing.” you manage to finally say. It just wasn’t worth it.

He continues staring, features unmoving as you assume he’s thinking of various ways to brutally murder you. He only straightens himself.

“I see.” 

You’re internally thankful he dropped it, your shoulders drooping in relief as you watch him continue to eat unnaturally fast, a strange habit of his. When was the last time he’s blinked? You can’t stand him. 

Illumi obviously didn’t believe that you had nothing to share. He knew you well enough to guess that whatever you were about to say would’ve angered him, so you kept quiet in order to avoid problems. Good, you were learning. 

Silence fell over the two of you, increasing the tension in the air. He’d already finished eating, choosing to gaze at you rather than anything else. He was making you lose your appetite, but you somehow managed to finish your meal.

“Would you like dessert?” Illumi inquired, barely giving you enough time to chew and swallow your last bite before asking.

“No thanks.” you don’t explain why. The truth was that you didn’t want to sit in front of him any longer, you were tired of his eyes boring into you. 

“Are you sure?” he tilted his head again, pressuring you for a different answer.

“I’m sure.” 

You wouldn’t budge, much to his dismay. You had unknowingly foiled his plans to spoon feed you a strawberry sundae. 

“Very well.” he doesn’t push any further, only slowly nodding. “Did you enjoy the food?”

“Yummy.” 

Illumi didn’t immediately react to your childish response, only straightening himself after a few moments. He had made sure this dinner would be perfect, planning everything to the last detail, and you’ve shown your gratitude by looking at everything other than him and rating his endeavor with a one word answer. 

He remained still for a few more moments before deciding to ignore your strange behavior once again. He stood up from his seat, looking away from you for the first time since he’s sat down. 

“Let’s go.”

You follow him as commanded, taking clear note of his slight annoyance. He led you to the hotel’s theater, the sound of your footsteps slightly echoing in the large, spacious room. He picks two spots in the center and takes a seat, you follow suit. 

Choosing to stay silent, you don’t ask any questions about what movie the two of you were seeing, only staring forward as the lights turn off and the showing begins. Illumi had carefully selected this movie for you. It was lighthearted and fun, chosen specifically to improve your mood. The date wasn’t meeting his expectations, as you weren’t quite throwing yourself at him, but he was determined to change that. 

You tried your best to ignore his constant glancing in your direction for the entirety of the film. It was as if he was looking for something, for reassurance to soothe his ever growing concerns. He didn’t like your indifference, he didn’t like that he couldn’t tell how you were feeling in detail about his attempts at courtship.

The movie was good, you liked it. Illumi was already staring at you by the time you faced him, the credits rolling on the screen. It was subtle but he still looked upset, the image of you leaning away from him as if you were trying to put as much space as possible between the two of you was still fresh in his mind. 

He would break that physical barrier, desensitize you to his presence.

As you silently walk back to the suite, Illumi suddenly grabs your hand. Your heart jumps into your throat, fully expecting him to crush it as punishment for upsetting him. He stops walking and stares at you when you impulsively try to pull away, not saying a word as he gives you a second to collect yourself. 

You were ruining his passionate act of love. He knew he wasn’t the most expressive, as he was raised to mask his emotions, but his straightforwardness made up for that. You should be happy. This is an act of love. He had done his research — asking his father — and knew what he needed to do in order to please you. He won’t let you spoil it. 

Eventually you somewhat simmer down, still tense in his firm hold. He continues walking, slower this time. He wasn’t even holding your hand correctly as yours was balled into a fist. He didn’t care though, as long as he was holding it.

The night hadn’t gone his way but he had plenty more tricks up his sleeve, optimistic that tomorrow would be better. Illumi would not put up with failure. 

You were in for a ride.

You reach and enter the suite once again, Illumi locking the door behind him. He lets out a sigh and begins to settle down, having no issue kicking his shoes off and changing clothes right in front of you. You, however, move to sit stationary on the lounge chair, staring at the ground to avoid any awkward interactions with your naked “husband”. 

You had no desirable reaction to anything he did, which he found disheartening. You finally look up when he’s fully clothed, watching as he sits on the edge of the bed. He decided to risk it, to ask about your experience. He figured a blunt and bold answer would be significantly better than overthinking and assuming the worst. “Did you enjoy anything I did today?”

Truth be told, you did. You just didn’t like him. Had anyone more deserving taken the time to do this for you, you’d throw yourself all over them. 

“It was the typical Illumi experience.” 

You regretted saying that before it even left your mouth. “The typical Illumi experience” was not a compliment, it was a brutal insult disguised with subtlety. You had just compared his month’s worth of intensive planning and preparing to a regular day being around him back at Kukuroo Mountain. 

Something you didn’t like flashed in his eyes, your fingers nervously grip your pants yet again. What you’d just said was so dismissive, condescending, everything he didn’t want to hear. He turns away from you, looking out of the glass balcony door as he takes several slow and deep breaths. He was collecting himself.

He reasoned in his mind, internally arguing that this was his chance to dissect your feelings and see how he could improve. He turns toward you, expression unreadable. “Elaborate.”

“Am I allowed to express myself?” you ask, your question was legitimately innocent. However, you were saying all the wrong things at the wrong time. 

“You were always allowed to express yourself, you just seem to have a habit of doing it disrespectfully.”

“I’m sorry.” you lower your gaze, apology insincere. 

You don’t know why he’s changed. You can tell that he’s being softer with you. If you said something like that a few months ago, you’d be unable to speak for the next two weeks. 

“Do you harbor resentment towards me?”

That was a rhetorical question. He didn’t want an answer; an answer other than a loud, confident “no” anyways. 

You stay silent, continuing to stare at the ground. He didn’t acknowledge that your silence was your way of saying yes. 

“Are we going back tomorrow?” you ask, changing the subject in order to lessen the heavy atmosphere. 

“Back to Kukuroo Mountain?”

“Yes.”

“No.” Illumi doesn’t provide further details. This trip won’t end unless it’s on a good note. “You should get changed.”

He stands up and rummages through the wardrobe, pulling out a silk pajama set. You slowly stand and retrieve it, making your way to the bathroom to change. He assumes you’re just being shy. You eventually come out, having put your dirty clothes into the hamper, before making your way to the lounge chair once again. The lights have been dimmed in your absence.

He was sitting up in bed, halfway under the blankets, staring at you expectantly. You didn’t want to come to terms with the reality that you had to sleep in the same bed as him; that fact wasn’t lost on him. It was obvious you were avoiding having to deal with the inevitable conclusion of the night by seeking comfort on the lounge chair. He wouldn’t allow you that comfort. “Come to bed.” his tone was flat, it was an order. 

“I’m not tired yet-”

“Come to bed.” he wasn’t hearing your excuses, only repeating himself while patting the empty space next to him. You look at him with a saddened expression, silently pleading to be let off the hook; the issue is that he’s let you off the hook multiple times today already and he wasn’t planning on letting you rob him of this. “Do as I say.”

Sensing the impatience in his tone, you reluctantly head over to your side of the bed and slide under the blanket, making sure to curl up as close to the edge and as far from Illumi as possible. You face away from him, silently making it clear you weren’t interested in anything other than sleep. He doesn’t comment on this, choosing to stay silent as he thinks to himself. He wanted to hold you, but he knew not to push too far. At least not so soon.

He sighs, continuing to sit up in bed as he watches your sleeping figure. Tomorrow will be a better day, he’ll make sure of it. 

[barcaatthemoon]

changes || mapi leon x reader ||

the natural changes in your relationship with mapi.

minors dni, 18+, smut ahead.

mapi could tell that something was up. the locker room was a weird mix of tense and seemingly excited. there were rumors of new signees, but mapi hadn't had time to look at them. however, when she arrived at her locker to see a jersey sitting next to it with your last name on it, she realized what was going on.

"are you fucking kidding me?" mapi turned to alexia, as if the woman had personally sought you out to sign. alexia tried to ignore mapi, but the brunette's glare was too much to ignore. "her?"

"she's good, and we could use the extra help on the field with jenni leaving," alexia reasoned. mapi huffed as she hurriedly changed into her kit to get out onto the field. the less time that she had to see you, the better. if mapi was ever to have an enemy, it would have been you.

she knew that there wasn't really a good reason for the two of you to hate each other, but it had been that way for years. whether it be through playing internationally or in your clubs, you and mapi had always clashed on the field together. she knew that alexia was hoping that things would be different with the two of you on the same team, but mapi knew better.

"what is the deal with her?" ona asked as she glanced over to where mapi was glaring at you. everybody knew about you, but they didn't really know you personally. this was a brand new club to you, and you were going to keep your distance because surely these girls were all already mapi's friends.

you didn't understand the rivalry between the two of you. it had started back in international youth teams, and spiraled since then. emotions had run high for you back then, and in the year since, you had mellowed out a bit. many girls who you had once played against were now your friends, with the exception of maria.

maria seemed to hold onto the resentment from your youth. for you, it all stemmed in a single game. it was your chance to show how good you really were, and mapi had shut every single one of your attempts down. you knew how that it was just her having you marked, and that it wasn't personal, but back then it felt personal.

"go away ona, i don't want to talk about it," mapi practically growled. she was much closer to snapping with you around, and it was something that ona realized they'd all have to get used to. ona just hoped that it wasn't going to be a permanent change in attitude.

…

"fuck, come on!" you shouted as you rubbed your thigh. you thought that you were alone in the training room, so when you heard footsteps, you jumped. you looked around the room, surprised to see mapi limping around with an ice pack on her knee. "oh, it's you."

"don't sound too happy," mapi muttered. your face fell, unsure of why she was still being so mean to you. the two of you barely ever interacted during practice, but today had been put on the same team for the 5-v-5. mapi had played things a little high for a couple of the drills, which meant she had gotten you some great passes. if it wasn't for the bad blood between the two of you, there would be a lot of potential for a team up.

"what's wrong with your knee?" you can't help but ask. it's not that difficult to tell yourself that it's just because you're teammates. there was no way that you cared about mapi outside of the pitch. it wasn't like you had been catching yourself thinking of her randomly throughout the day or anything.

"pina, she jumped on my back and my knee buckled. it's no big deal. what's wrong with you?" mapi didn't hide the concern in her voice. you had hobbled away early during practice, and mapi knew you better than to think it was just to get out of drills. they had been ready to start your favorite one of practice when you left.

"it's an old injury that acts up sometimes. i'm good though, barcelona didn't waste their money signing me," you reassured her. mapi's face fell, wondering if that was how you thought she felt about you. truthfully, she hadn't been happy to learn that you came all the way here, but she respected you as a player. mapi knew firsthand how good you were, more often than not having been a thorn in her side when the opportunity arose.

"do you need ice or something?" mapi asked. you shook your head. icing your leg hadn't helped it at all. the tapes would help for a bit, but you needed something more. mapi tilted her head as she watched you try to rub your discomfort out. it was risky, but she stood up and stood in front of you.

"what are you doing?" you asked as you watched mapi move your hand away. hers replaced yours, working through the knots much better than you had been able to. "mapi-,"

"don't mention it, please," mapi said quietly. you nodded and closed your eyes as you leaned back against the bench. mapi was grateful for your eyes being squeezed shut because it allowed for her eyes to roam over your body. things seemed to be just fine between the two of you until her fingers pressed a little higher up than she meant to, pulling a very breathy sigh from your lips. "lo siento."

"don't mention it," you told her. mapi noticed the way that your voice shook like you were barely holding it together. it wasn't the first time that you had crossed her mind, but it definitely was the first time that she had ever really thought about putting her hands on you like this.

…

there's a definite shift in your relationship with mapi over the next couple of weeks. the two of you aren't exactly clambering to spend time together outside of training, but everybody could tell that something had changed. you opened up more to your teammates, no longer afraid that they'd all follow maria's lead and decide to hate you.

"hola maria," you greeted happily as you sat down across from the woman. she furrowed her brows as she looked at you, a slight pout on her lips. "it's rude not to say it back."

"don't call me maria, it makes me feel like i'm in trouble," she said.

"that's your name though," you said. she got up and stood in front of you, encroaching on your personal space. "what am i supposed to call you then?"

"mapi." she grabbed onto your chin and tilted your head up so that you were looking at her. there had been a weird bit of tension building up between the two of you that everybody was waiting to come to head. alexia seemed to watch the two of you with a particular closeness, occasionally with a look of disbelief on her face.

"fine. hola, mapi," you corrected. mapi smiled down at you, leaning in almost close enough to kiss you.

"hola, (y/n). are you coming out tonight? the girls want to go dancing." the invitation had been extended to you in the parking lot, but you hadn't accepted it just yet. you knew that tomorrow was a recovery day, but you also knew that meant twice the amount of drinks as normal. the spanish girls could handle their liqour a lot better than you could, having spent most of your adult life not drinking much.

"promise to keep an eye on me and make sure i don't drink too much?" you asked her. mapi nodded, smiling as she let go of your head. the two of you paired up for some of the drills during practice, something that had become fairly normal. after practice, mapi walked you out to your car, promising to pick you up whenever it was time to go out.

…

the club was absolutely packed, and you hated it. somehow, the entire team had been talked into going, which meant you knew a good amount of the people there, but it was still far too crowded for your liking. that was why you had sat down in a booth across from alexia and refused to move no matter what.

"are the two of you having fun?" you and alexia both glanced over to jenni, who looked disappointed. mapi and leila were right next to her, both of them looking at the two of you expectantly. "come on, it won't kill you to dance with us."

"it might, you don't know that it won't," alexia shot back quickly. you smirked as you watched jenni's face harden a bit. there wasn't a doubt in your mind that alexia would be in for it whenever they got home. jenni didn't like to brag about the things that she got up to with alexia in their bedroom, but the two of you had a habit of chatting in the gym.

"well, if you die, i'll just give you cpr," jenni said as she tugged alexia out of her seat. leila followed the two of them, trailing close behind jenni. that left you and mapi to stand there and stare at each other.

"come on, if ale can get up, so can you," mapi said. she was much more gentle in getting you onto your feet. she also seemed to be content to wait until a slower song started to get you out there.

you didn't fight with mapi as the two of you swayed to the beat of the music. her hands fell onto your hips as she pressed herself up against you. you welcomed the warmth of her body, not having realized how long it had been since someone touched you like this. your mind quickly went elsewhere, but when you felt the press of mapi's lips against the side of your neck, you realized that maybe she wanted this too.

"kiss me," you said as you turned around. you knew that mapi couldn't hear you, but she could read your lips well enough to know what you wanted. and even if she couldn't, you weren't being subtle at all. your eyes hadn't left her lips, not until she was leaning in. excitedly, you surged forward and closed the gap between the two of you.

mapi's lips were soft, a contrast to the way that her teeth nipped at your lip. you let out a little yelp, one that had mapi laughing as she held you in her arms. you swallowed as you looked at her before nodding towards the door. she nodded, and the two of you left the club wordlessly.

"my place or yours?" you asked mapi. she got into the passenger's seat of her own car, having given you her keys after her second drink. you were pretty sure that she hadn't drank much more after that, but in your mind, it was always better safe than sorry.

"yours. i have never been there before," mapi answered. you started her car, jumping a little as the engine roared to life. mapi laughed at that, placing her hand on your thigh to calm you down a bit. she knew that her car could be a bit much for someone driving it for the first time, but she trusted you. you had proven yourself to be one of the very responsible members of the team, especially tonight when everybody else had chosen to get nearly blackout drunk with a few expections.

mapi seemed surprised to see where your apartment was. you had truly gotten a good location, extremely close to the training grounds and nearby several restaurants and stores. mapi was a bit jealous, even if she did like her apartment. it was close by alexia and jenni's, so she could always go annoy them whenever she felt like it.

"it's a bit messy. i had a hard time finding something to wear tonight," you warned her. mapi didn't seem to care. her eyes dropped down to your outfit, appreciatively checking you out once again. it had been hard to keep her eyes off of you earlier in the night, and she was beyond relieved whenever you hadn't pushed her away on the dance floor.

"with how good you look, we'll be lucky to make it to your bedroom," mapi told you. you clenched your thighs together as you unlocked your door. once the two of you were inside, mapi pulled you in for another kiss. this one was firm without being rough. mapi established her control very early on, but you had expected as much.

you kicked your heels off before jumping up into mapi's arms. she carried you down the little hallway, stopping momentarily to press you against the wall to kiss you a little harder. you moaned into that kiss, grinding your hips against her just a little. mapi could already feel the heat coming off of your core, and she realized that she couldn't wait to have you.

"bedroom?" mapi asked. you pointed at the door at the end of the hallway. mapi pulled you away from the wall and walked you right over there. she set you down just long enough to let you move the dresses and clothes scattered about on your bed. you turned around to see her half-naked in front of you. "like what you see?"

"fuck yes," you breathed out. mapi smirked as she moved towards you. your hands immediately flew down to touch her stomach, fingers running along the taunt and toned muscle of her abdomen. mapi's head dropped down to rest on your shoulder, breathing heavily as your hands moved along her body.

"touch me." mapi guided your hands down between her legs. you were surprised, having assumed that she wouldn't have let you in so quickly. you had heard the way mapi talked about having sex with the girls she had picked up before, and it had all sounded very one-sided. although, you supposed that her letting you touch you like this was even more exciting because you did't expect it.

your fingers were met with skin made slick from arousal. mapi was panting in your ear as your fingers teasingly stroked between her lips. mapi bucked her hips forward as your fingers approached her clit. mapi's hands grabbed onto your shoulders for support as she tilted her hips just enough for your fingers to wind up at her entrance.

"one at a time," mapi told you. she sounded desperate, so you let one of your fingers slip inside of her. mapi hiked her leg up as she bucked her hips to try and ride your finger. you quickly lifted her with your other arm, pulling both of you back onto the mattress.

mapi stayed on top of you, riding your finger as you tried to comfortably adjust yourself beneath her. you could tell whenever the one finger wasn't quite enough for mapi, and slowly added a second. once again, you were patient as mapi set the pace that she wanted. you matched her thrust for thrust, not daring to go faster than what she was.

"please, i need more. i'm so close," mapi begged you. she was a lot more prone to whining than you had originally thought, but it didn't bother you one bit. you liked the vulnerability that mapi was willing to show to you, especially considering how volatile your relationship had been in the beginning.

"do you want another finger?" you asked. mapi shook her head, and suddenly, you realized what she needed. you dropped your other hand from her hip down between her legs, allowing for your fingers to brush against her clit. you felt a surge of wetness along with the first spasm of her cunt around your fingers. the next few came in controlled little waves, matching the rhythm set by the fingers against her clit. there was only so long that she could hold off on cumming, and once she had let you, you felt her body tense up around you.

mapi lifted herself off of your fingers before settling down in between your legs. she placed her hands on your waist and bunched them around your dress. you lifted your hips up off of the bed, allowing for the bottom of your dress to move up around your waist. mapi licked her lips as she looked straight ahead to be met with the sight of your definitely ruined underwear.

"i can't wait to taste you," mapi said as she leaned in. your breath hitched as you felt hers ghost across the insides of your thighs. it wasn't fair to see her so composed immediately after an orgasm. you felt like a wreck, turned on and no longer distracted with something interesting to focus on. you were left to lay there and think about how uncomfortable the now-sticky fabric of your underwear felt.

"please hurry," you whined. mapi hooked her fingers around your underwear and pulled them down slowly. she gave a quick teasing little lick between your lips, moaning in pleasure at the taste of you.

"so sweet, i could spend all night licking up every drop." the thickness of mapi's accent made you want to clench your thighs, but her hands kept them apart. she kept you spread open as she took her time to admire you. it was touching her that had gotten you so worked up, and once the two of you were finished, mapi planned on being insufferable about it.

"just please, i want to cum so badly." you looked at mapi with a pout. she bit her lip as she pushed her finger against your entrance. "two, not just one. i need to be fucked, mapi, fucked."

she gave you a quick nod and pushed another finger inside of you without hesitation. her fingers moved at a quick pace, nearly fucking the breath out of you. you threaded your fingers in her hair and pulled her head forward, directing her so that her mouth was on your clit. mapi didn't need instruction past that.

her tongue worked magic on your clit, moving with fluidity and precision. your hips were bucking wildly as you ground yourself against mapi's face. she let you push yourself closer and closer towards an orgasm until you were on the edge of it. that was when she wrapped both of her arms around your hips, keeping you still so that she could truly control when you came.

you hadn't meant to scream her name out at the top of your lungs, but it had still happened. mapi relished in the sound of it echoing off of your bedroom walls. your neighbors would be pissed, but you'd apologize later on, if you could even face them again. mapi liked the sound of her name spilling from your lips that she didn't stop there. you were physically pushing her off of your body to get her to give you a break, and even then, she was looking at you as she "patiently" waited for another turn.

"in the morning," you promised. mapi pouted as she settled in the bed next to you.

"that is so far away," mapi whined. you rolled your eyes at her as you pulled her in for a kiss. "just one more?"

"no, it's late, and i'd like to actually get some rest now. god, you're so needy, maria," you teased. mapi's brows furrowed as she stared at you, obviously not happy with the use of her full name.

"well, now you owe me one in the morning," mapi told you. you laughed it off, already having planned on having sex with her again in the morning. you knew that the two of you had opened up a can of worms, one that you'd be exploring for at least a couple more weeks. you hoped that it would blossom into more, but you didn't want to push mapi for anything too serious when you'd only recently become friends.

[sosouthernsoundkitsonline]

Buy Drill Sound Kit Online : Download the latest & best collection of drill drum samples, drill melody loops, drill drum loops & drill kits  Buy Sound Kits Online from Sosouthern Sound Kits now. drill sound kit

[soraphic]

you're gripping peter so hard you feel woozy,the contracting muscles of his biceps rippling under your palms as you wailed -- "oh,god! pete!"

one of your legs was secured against his pistoning hip,his spidey-strength had him holding your entire body weight with one arm,tilting you slightly upwards in a way that had him fucking you so deeply you felt him in your stomach.

his other was at your waist,his flat palm nearly the size of your torso,using it to pull and twist you at an angle that satisfied you both. you often caught yourself wondering whether his sheer size,in more ways than one, was an effect of the bite or if he was just blessed by birth.

"such a pretty girl." he cooed,bringing a hand to run through your hair,lightly massaging your scalp in a way that had you purring.

he could tell by the glint in your eyes accompanied by the excessive gnawing at your lip,you needed more. he wanted you speechless. so,he lowered your ass to the bed,slightly tugging your body forward as he manoeuvred your legs securely over his shoulders,your thighs pressed tightly to his chest while he drilled into you.

the new position had you reeling,head thrashing against the pillows and a loud screech being ripped from you - "peter!"

"i know,baby,i know," wet kisses were placed against your ankle,his legs flexing as he used the muscle he had to pound into you.

there was a sudden flash of lights outside the window,blue and red pouring over the both of you,accompanied by the wail of sirens flooding the room. your head snapped to peter,knowing what that meant but still somewhat hopeful.

peter was biting down on his bottom lip,one hand splayed across your stomach as he concentrated on getting you where he needed you. he was pushing as deep as he possibly could,applying pressure to where he could feel himself slipping inside you in the hopes it would have you falling apart quicker.

there was a vibration on the nightstand,both of you audibly groaning at the contact name 'yuri watanabe',though yours ended in more of a moan.

"i need you to cum for me,baby,can you do that?" he leaned back against his heels,hitting you from an entirely different angle that had you crying out,red nails coming to scratch at his abs.

"hm?" he punctuated it with a particularly forceful thrust.

"yes! for you!" your eyes were screwed shut,mouth agape and ear splitting mewls leaving you.

"'atta girl." his thumb jutted out to rub circles at your clit,jaw clenched in deep focus.

the sounds of chaos outside were growing more prevalent,peters sense desperately dragging him to your window while he fought it off. what kind of a hero would he be if he left his girl high-and-dry to go stop some amateur bank robbery?

his movements against your clit sped up,switching from rubbing soft circles to expertly flicking the bud the way he knew you liked. he had you coming shortly after,clenching around him and almost deafening him with your squeals.

you focused on catching your breath,eyes heavy-lidded and basking in the aftermath of your orgasm. they opened to the sight of your boyfriend,mask in hand and kitted up,perched over your window sill. "wait! but- pete,you didn't finish?"

his head snapped to his phone vibrating once again on the dresser,which felt a lot more obnoxious this time,although he was thankful for the reminder. he had almost forgotten it.

he was over to your side of the room in less than 3 steps,pressing a kiss to your forehead while he snagged his phone. "i'll be just fine,baby,don't worry about it."

in a flash he was repositioned at the window once again,giving you one glance and a cheeky smile before pulling his mask over his face and diving out into the city.

the soft thwips of his web shooters grew quieter,more distant,as you eventually settled into bed,thinking of how you would repay him when he got back.

[sky-scribbles]

There are a lot of things to love about the SSV Normandy. It’s a symbol of cooperation between two species historically at odds. It’s a miracle of engineering, a technological masterpiece that could alter every pattern of space warfare. Its crew is the highest calibre that the Alliance has to offer, bolstered by multispecies allies: an emblem of flying hope.

It also has far, far too many flashing lights. Everywhere.

One hand pressed to the wall to keep himself steady, the other pressed against his forehead as if that’s going to do any good, Kaidan shuffles down the hall toward the med bay. Every light panel and display interface feels like a laser drill boring directly through his eyes, sounds reverberate against the inside of his skull, and his sense of balance is a distant, pleasant memory. Kaidan sucks in a tight breath between his teeth. It’s going to be okay. He can do this. He’s done it before.

He drags himself the last few feet, and the med bay doors slide open. Kaidan opens up his omni-tool – god, why are those so bright, too? – and does what he’s done a hundred times, scanning the medical interface so that the med system logs him. Doctor Chakwas isn’t here, which means she’s on her rest shift, but that’s fine. The med system will alert her if there’s a problem.  

Kaidan, turns, so ready to collapse into the nearest med bed – except he can’t. Because there’s someone already in it.

‘Oh,’ he says. ‘Hey, Tali.’

‘Hey, Lieutenant.’ She still seems shy about using his first name. Maybe it’s a habit from being raised on board ships, or maybe she’s just not sure if she’s allowed. ‘Are you okay?’

‘I will be once the pain meds kick in.’ Kaidan makes it to the next bed along and finally, finally lies down and shuts his eyes. ‘Doctor Chakwas is just… pretty strict about me coming here whenever a migraine kicks in. Just in case it’s a sign of something going wrong with my implant.’

Through the fog of everything hurts, it finally surfaces in his brain that Tali in the med bay is… that’s bad, right? ‘What about you? Are you, you know –?’

Okay, he’s not sure how to finish that sentence. There’s probably not a polite way to say hey, are you here because you’ve picked up a fatal illness?

He cracks one eye open, just enough to see her looking glumly at him. He’s not sure how he can tell that she’s glum when all he can see is her eyes, but yeah. She’s glum. ‘You know how I took a hit on Feros?’

‘Yeah.’

‘And how I disinfected it, and used my patch kit on the suit breach, and told Shepard I was fine?’

‘Yeah.’

‘I was not fine.’ She slumps down miserably. ‘My throat is full of painful slime, my sinuses are on fire, and my halesh –’ Okay, that’s obviously some piece of quarian anatomy – ‘is more gummed up than I can describe.’

Kaidan shuts his eyes again. ‘Well, my skull feels like it’s slowly contracting and crushing my brain, so… I sort of feel you.’

She laughs weakly. ‘I should have run an extra med scan once I got back to the Normandy. I just – I wanted to help with the engine maintenance today. And there’s this combat drone design I’m working on. And now…’ There’s a sound of movement; Kaidan gets the impression that she’s gesturing at the med bay in angry helplessness.

‘I feel that too.’ And he does. He really does. This isn’t the worst migraine he’s ever had – he can actually hold a conversation, which some days would be beyond him. But it’s… it’s not great. And he had things to do. Ash was running a drill and wanted him to look over her plans. He had a cleaning shift at fourteen hours. Shepard wanted to talk strategy for Noveria.  And yes, he knows he has a right to take time off for a medical issue. He knows he’s no use to Ash or Shepard or anyone when he can’t even walk in a straight line. But knowing that doesn’t quite get rid of the squirm in his belly, the one that feels like letting people down.

Tali’s quiet for a minute, aside from the ever-present, barely-audible hum of her suit systems, and the occasional sniff from behind her helmet. Then she says, unexpectedly, ‘I’m just… I’m so tired. You know what I mean?’

Kaidan’s head throbs. He swallows. ‘Oh, yeah.’

The constant vigilance. Always having to be careful about where he goes – is this room too bright? Is this one too loud? – in case something triggers another bad spell. Taking hits to the head in a fight that anyone else could just shrug off, but that for him mean another trip to the med bay to make sure his implant isn’t damaged. Trying to do his job and suddenly finding, no, he can’t, because his body has decided that today’s the day he just doesn’t get to function.

Tali… she must go through the same awful deal, just in a different flavour. Always being careful, so careful. Someone else’s minor injury being her okay, let’s get a med check to make sure I won’t die. It’s not the same, of course: Kaidan can eat food without filtering it, touch people without protective layers, see people’s faces without a tinted mask. Still… there’s a tone in her voice that he knows from his own.

There’s a heavy silence. Then Tali says, ‘You know what’s really stupid? I left my datapad in my cabin, so I can’t even watch vids.’

Kaidan smiles. He’s seen her down in Engineering, a few times, hands flying around over the machinery, rocking back and forth on her heels. Idleness obviously doesn’t suit her. ‘You can borrow mine, if you like.’

‘Really?’ Her voice is already brighter. ‘I mean – won’t the noise will make you feel worse?’

‘Nah, I’ll be good.’ He’s not just saying it; there’s a blissful numbness creeping through his head which means that his meds are finally getting to work. He fishes the datapad from his pocket, taps in his passcode, and hands it over. ‘What kind of vids do you like?’

Her whole being perks up – tone, body, everything. ‘Oh, all of them.Any genre, any species. I mean… asari vids can be a bit long. I mean, they’re made by people who can spend a decade making a vid and a whole day watching it. Turians… their vids can be a bit depressing. There’s a lot of ‘this war ended with almost everyone dead, but one turian is still standing, so it’s a victory!”

‘What about quarians? What kinds of stories do your people tell?’

A small laugh echoes inside the helmet. ‘Quarian vids are pretty limited by environment. We don’t have a lot of varied sets to work with. So we tell the best long-running dramas. There’s one ship in the Flotilla that’s been hosting the same series for over eighty standard years now. Following the crew as they change over time, that sort of thing.’ She taps the base of her helmet. ‘It’s pretty good, but… I think if you watched it, you’d think there were a lot more explosions, murders and shipwide romantic entanglements in the Flotilla than there actually are.’

‘Human dramas are like that too.’

Tali laughs. ‘Quarian dramas make human dramas look relaxed.’

Kaidan finds he’s actually able to grin. ‘So what do human vids tell you about us?’

Her helmet tilts as she considers. ‘That you’re very individualistic. I mean, not every human culture. But you put a lot of focus onto characters and personal journeys.’ She scrolls down the datapad screen – looking through vid lists, presumably – then stops. It’s hard to tell, but Kaidan thinks she might be frowning. ‘I did notice… in a lot of human media, the biotics are…’

Another insistent pulse of pain through his temples. Kaidan sighs. ‘Crazy extremists?’

‘Yes. Do you… do you mind if I ask why that is?’

‘No, it’s fine.’ Kaidan turns onto his back and stares up at the dim ceiling. ‘A lot of the early generation of biotics, the ones who got the same implants as me… let’s just say I got off lightly. Most ended up with much more serious medical conditions. And when people found out about the side effects of the L2 implants, the media got the bit between its teeth and –’ Yeah, no, that wasn’t going to translate. ‘Sorry. Human saying. They got a certain impression, and they ran with it.’

Tali’s quiet for several seconds. Kaidan twists his head to face her, and sees the pale eyes behind the mask giving him a long, steady look.

‘I’m sorry,’ she says. And then, after a moment, ‘They tell lies about us, too.’

Kaidan holds her gaze, and feels terribly, achingly sad. ‘Yeah,’ he says. ‘I bet they do.’

 The way people look at Tali as she walks through the Presidium… it’s familiar. Not quite the same. There’s a note of scorn in the looks they give to Tali – but there’s suspicion, too, and that’s something he knows. All the times back on Earth, after he got back from Jump Zero, when he shook someone’s hand or opened a door, and their eyes found the implants. They way they stared at him like he was a loaded gun. All the documents he had to fill out to do anything, the knowledge that any government he lived under would always be hovering a few steps away, keeping tabs, making sure.

Remembering Rahna – remembering that obvious, instinctive fear in her eyes – is an old memory now, the kind that’s a faded scar. But he remembers the shock of it, back when he was seventeen. When no one had looked at him like that before, and it was dizzying and new and felt like a hole in his gut.

He bets Tali has that hole in her gut all the time.

Kaidan pushes himself up a little – which makes his brain spin, but he manages it – and gives Tali a smile. ‘Well. Let’s look for something that gets us both right.’

‘Definitely.’ She flicks through the options for a minute more, then pauses. ‘Have you ever seen Fleet and Flotilla?’

‘I think I’ve heard of it.’ There’s a faint memory of seeing an ad for it, maybe, and thinking it was the kind of thing he’d have loved as a kid. Space exploration. Justice. Love. ‘The… war romance, right?’

‘Yes!’ Tali’s legs bounce. ‘It’s – keelah, it’s so good, it’s – it’s about this girl, Shalei, who’s on her pilgrimage. And she’s interested in the geth, because she’s got this dream of finding a way to defeat them and take back the Homeworld, right? And when she finds something, she goes to the Citadel for help, but no one will listen except this one turian called Bellicus –’

‘Hold up. Wasn’t that… exactly what you were doing when we met you? Minus the turian, I mean.’

Tali ducks her head, suddenly shy. ‘I… I really, really like the vid.’

No kidding. Kaidan smiles. ‘So let’s watch it.’

His head still feels like a bombsite, and when he thinks about all the things he wants to be doing for his crew and isn’t, the rest of him hurts too. But maybe he’s still doing something for his crew, sitting in the med bay with his sick squadmate – his sick friend – and sharing her favourite vid with her. Maybe he’s doing something for him, too. He doesn’t do that too often.

Tali props the datapad up on the table between their beds, her whole body one big smile. ‘You’re going to love this,’ she promises, and presses play.

[thesassypadawan]

Repair Kit (Hayden x FemReader)

Summary: You’re the on-set medic for the new Obi-Wan series. A verily simple, straight forward job…except when it comes to a pair of dumbasses. Who have no problem texting you in the middle of the night when they overdo it practicing…or when your new boyfriend accidentally gets out drunk. And tells you some things.

Warnings: 18+ (mdni), because there’s a slight hint of smuttiness. Some drunk dumbasses and a booty grabbing Hayden.

Notes: Happy Hayden's (And Mine) Birthday Event! In honor of the man, the myth, the legend; I will be posting nothing but Anakin, Vader, and Hay stories all April long!

A little something for @ittybitty-rt ! It was truly a pleasure to write this! I had a lot of fun with it!  Hope you like it! ❤️

- It was 2am when your phone goes off. You only know this because it was glaring at you from the lock screen. Along with an interesting message from a certain ‘hello there’ saying gentleman… ‘Vader Repair Kit’. Bring. Hayden’s trailer. Now.’

- “Oh, what the hell now,” you grumble. Begrudgingly rolling out of your nice, cozy bed; you hurriedly throw on the first thing you can find. Grabbing the requested ‘kit’ on your way out.

- This was your job; well, to a certain degree. You’re the on-set medic for the new Obi-Wan series. Normally, during the DAY, you can be found fixing up beaten knuckles…soothing minor burns…maybe even stitching up a wound or two. Pretty much you just keep everyone happy and healthy.

- Simple enough. Except when it comes to a particular pair of grown ass men who act like stupid teens the moment they’re together. Who see absolutely no problem with texting you in the middle of the night. About the most moronic things…aka usually practicing after hours and completely overdoing it.

- However though, that wasn’t the case tonight…

- Before you can even knock, the door flies open. Revealing ‘Dumbass #1’ in all his grinning glory. “D-Darling, you look stunning.”

- Stunning…they must have fucked up good. “Shove the sweet talk, Ewan. Who did what this time?”

- Rubbing the back of his neck, the ‘jedi master’ laughs nervously. The smell of alcohol VERY noticeable on his breath. “Well, y-you see-”

- “Meee, I did!” A familiar voice calls out drunkenly.

- Shooting Ewan a look, you push your way inside. To find…

- ‘Dumbass #2’ sitting on the bed; big, goofy smile on his face. Arms flung wide open. “There’s my angel!”

- Staring blankly, you let out a heavy sigh. “Seriously? Don’t make me regret agreeing to date you.”

- Not paying any mind to the whines of ‘how mean’…or the ungodly adorable pout…you immediately get to work. Pulling out various rehydration items and whatever can possibly lessen the inevitable hangover from your ‘kit’. “All right, dark lord, you know the drill. Just like when you overheat in the Vader suit. Drink and take what I give you. And you’ll be sort of good as new.”

- Right as you’re about to hand him a bottle of what you both so affectionately call ‘blue milk’ and some aspirin. Those arms you’ve been avoiding wind around your hips and… “Heh-heh, booty.” …unceremoniously pull you down onto their owner’s lap.

- “Hay, what the…stop!” You squeak, face all flushed while trying to wiggle out of his hold.

- “No!” He giggles excitedly, squeezing your plush posterior like crazy. “Booty!”

- You hear the sound of Ewan clearing his throat behind you, a slight smirk in his voice. “You h-have this under control. I’ll l-leave you two love birds b-be.” Followed by the trailer door closing. Bastard…so much for being your only hope.

- Barely a second afterwards, Hayden has his face buried in the side of your neck. Nipping and sucking your sensitive skin. Hands still kneading greedily. “He right, ya know. We that…because I loves you.”

- Did he really just say that? You haven’t…he hasn’t… “You’re drunk. You don’t know what you’re saying,” you mutter. Scratching the back of his head, doing your best to ignore the awakening beast pressing into your stomach.

- Pulling away, not before giving your collarbone a gentle bite, Hay looks up at you with puppy dog eyes. Whining a bit while not so subtly grinding. “Maaaybe, but don’t mean it not true. I loves my angel. Wanna shows her.”

- Forcing back a soft moan, it takes everything you have to not cave. Sure, you’d love nothing more than to do so; to just tear it up like nobody’s business. But right now…right now he needed you in a whole different way.

- Despite his protests, you untangle yourself and slide out of his lap. “How about this?” You coo, sitting besides him and wrapping an arm around his waist. “You drink your ‘blue milk’ and get some rest. And…you can show me as much as you want in the morning. Okay?”

- “Fine,” he huffs, resting his head on your shoulder. “You numb me?”

- Although this isn’t exactly how you pictured the two of you saying it, you can’t help but smile. “Yeah,” you whisper, kissing the top of his head. “I love you too.”

- “Good, because I no give up booty,” Hayden mumbles. Giving aforementioned booty one last good pinch before dozing off.

Tag List: @espinathena-17, @myheartwillgoon2022, @wifeofasith, @princessswifie, @kenobiskywalker16, @loverforoldermen

[putellasawfc]

please may you do a beth mead fic where reader is new to arsenal and super shy but beth being beth is very welcoming and shows her the works and they get really close and eventually get together :) i’m happy to request more beffy fics because you’re very right in saying that there ARENT ENOUGH!!! tysm

best decision !

beth mead x arsenal!reader

-

stepping onto the turf, your eyes wandered over to the group of girls who were running around together, passing the ball back and forth in their different groups with looks of either enjoyment or concentration, depending on who you looked at. your heart was beating wildly in your chest and your grip on your water bottle tightened as the man beside you whistled with his fingers in his mouth which quickly grabbed the attention of the arsenal players who looked over in curiosity, all their eyes darting between you and your new manager, jonas eidevall.

today was to be your first day training with your new team, and you were both excited yet nervous about the whole thing.

you weren’t great at meeting new people, blaming it on your shy and quiet demeanour, it usually took awhile for you to warm up to anyone new and come out of your shell so today was a big day for you, for many reasons . you were grateful that jonas had given you this opportunity, signing you onto the arsenal team a couple of weeks back. you loved your old club, the girls you played with were incredible and you had created many long lasting bonds but unfortunately as the years went by, your game time was decreasing and you were no longer satisfied with the minutes you were getting on the pitch.

the bench had become a familiar place and you worried that your talents were being wasted there. so when the offer to sign to arsenal appeared, you all but leaped at the opportunity, excited to spread your potential elsewhere. though of course, despite being eager to join the new club, the goodbyes to your teammates were emotional but they understood why you left and assured you that you made the right decision, no hard feelings.

your thoughts were dismissed as an array of colours clouded your view. the blacks, greens and blues from the arsenal training kits were up front of and centre, matching the new one you had fit yourself into only an hour prior. you were a little intimidated by the many stares you were getting, though none of them were made with malicious intent, some of the girls even sending you a welcoming smile as they sensed your unease which you quickly returned.

“alright girls, our new member is finally here, this is y/n y/l/n and she’s going to be joining us today for training, friday’s game will be her first game with us so i expect you all to welcome her with open arms and ease her into the team as quickly and smoothly as possible please.” jonas’ voice sounded from the side of you, and you felt a little heat rise to your face with all the attention now pointing at you.

a few of the girls piped up with ‘hi’s’ here and ‘hello’s’ there, and you returned them all with a simple wave and a quirk of your lips.

“you can all get your proper introductions later, for now i need you to start working on your drills, so partner up and show y/n she made the right choice coming over here.” he clapped his hands together, and you smiled at the playful jab he had made towards the team, already liking the atmosphere within the coach and squad dynamic.

your nerves came rushing back as soon as he wandered off though, and the girls began to jog off back onto the turf already grabbing onto each other as they called dibs on their partners before others could. you hung back, feeling a little awkward at the bond they all had that you weren’t yet apart of, though you had high hopes it wouldn’t be long before you were there with them. your eyes flickered around as everyone partnered up, feeling a little bit like a loner as it seemed you were the only one without one, but just as you were about to accept the embarrassment, a hand touched your elbow and you spun your head around to see a freckled blonde with gorgeous blue eyes and a beaming smile.

“you wanna partner up, newbie?” her yorkshire accent reached your ears and you perked up at the invitation.

“um, yeah.” you mumbled, your voice coming out quiet before you coughed and spoke again. “yes please, saves me standing on my own like a loser.”

she laughed at that and you smiled, happy to have amused her with your slightly self degrading comment.

“yeah i think we’ve all been there.” she hummed, walking you both to the only available miniature sized goal left. “i’ll pass, you shoot, yeah?”

you nodded in agreement, happy to be in any position as long as you were practicing and learning. you stood a good distance away from the goal post, and awaited beth to get into her spot so she could shoot the ball your way.

she placed the ball down by her feet and glanced your way, the smile that she had first greeted you with still on her face as if it was permanent. “you ready?”

you nodded once again, and so with that she pulled her foot back and kicked the ball with moderate power. you watched as it flew towards you, backing up a little as you quickly predicted where it was going to end up. as soon as it aligned with your foot, you made your move and kicked the ball, watching as it hit the back of the net with ease.

“go on!” the blonde cheered, clapping in approval at the strike you made. “already showing off i see.”

you blushed at the praise, not being able to keep the smile from your face at her genuine appreciation of your skills. you retrieved the ball from the goal and ran to where beth was just stood, the striker moving to do the same and stand in your position.

“now i have to make this or else jonas might kick me off the squad.” she teased, and now it was your turn to laugh at her remark.

“i don’t think he’d ever do that, can’t lose his meado. your fans would start a riot.” you told her, only half joking.

she barked a laugh at that, “i wouldn’t be surprised.”

the training session continued for another two hours, and you stayed partnered up with beth for the majority of it. apart from the last half an hour when you all had to get into groups of four, but beth still remained in your team and you were glad. being the first girl on the squad to start an actual conversation with you, you were clinging onto that warm exterior as you allowed it to bring yourself out of your shell a little bit and mingle with the other two on your team, who happened to be catley and foord.

both of them brought you into the group as if you’d been friends for weeks, no awkward small talk or even worse, awkward silences and that took a lot of weight off your shoulders. though you didn’t doubt the girls would give you any less than a friendly welcome to the squad, you still had your worries that maybe you just wouldn’t mix in with them quite so well, but as the minutes passed you realised that those worries were no more than a silly waste of head space.

-

the next few days passed quickly, each day you’d go into training and instantly just find yourself drawn to beth who seemed just as excited to see you. she’d always bring you into a hug, her hands rubbing comfortingly up and down your back that had your insides tingling with excitement at the act of affection. you couldn’t deny the feelings inside of you that had been building up since you first met the blonde, for some reason you couldn’t get her off your mind.

whenever you were together you were always seeking her out, making sure she was always nearby. you blamed it on the fact she was the first person to accept you into the squad, though the quieter part of you brain knew that it was more than that. she had followed you on instagram when you had returned home on your first day, and after following her back you were ashamed to admit you had stalked her profile and found yourself grinning like a fool at her posts, her sense of humour something that had drawn you in from the get go.

but other than that it was her effortless beauty that had you hooked. you had yet to see her with more than a bit of mascara on her lashes, and you were taken aback by how great she looked. even after a day of training, all red faced and sweaty you were still admiring her from afar. you could only imagine how incredible she’d look if you ever got the honour to see her all dolled up, the photos on her social media’s never did justice so you just had to wait for the opportunity yourself.

over the days your bond with the other girls had grown stronger too. three girls specifically. caitlin, steph and alessia were your definite best friends on the team (aside from beth of course), you just seemed to mesh well with the trio, they were lovely people and you all shared the same humour and energy so it just made you all work so well as a group.

and your relationships with the other girls were slowly building too, you even had the pleasure of meeting leah williamson which you look back on now and cringe at how awkward you were around the arsenal legend. she had shown up at training one day, ready to begin easing herself back in with the girls ahead of her big comeback for the team and you had bumped into her in the gym. the blonde looked at you unsure, and you guessed she hadn’t realised there was anyone new joining the team. but unsurprisingly, beth was there to save you and introduce you both.

you were sure you looked like an idiot, stood there mouth opening and closing like a fish as you struggled to find words. it wasn’t everyday you met people you had looked up to for years, and to not only be playing along side her (when she was recovered of course) but also have the chance to build somewhat of a friendship with the defender was enough to have your brain short circuiting. you were just glad beth was there to keep the conversation flowing.

now, you stood on the pitch ready to play in your first game officially as an arsenal member. you were incredibly nervous, but determined to prove your spot in the squad, wanting to show jonas that he had made the right choice when he seeked you out. and it wasn’t just jonas you wanted to prove yourself to today, it was the girls and the fans that were all anticipating your debut. you didn’t want to let anyone down, including yourself.

you jumped in your spot, kicking your legs out whilst letting out a deep breath, trying to warm up whilst simultaneously attempting to decrease any anxious thoughts. you watched as the girls did the same, some passing you and sending exciting smiles and encouraging words as they passed. it wasn’t until she appeared, did you take the encouragement seriously.

“you’re gonna do good, yeah? you’ve been great in training just do the same as you did then.” beth patted your shoulder, “act like the crowd and cameras aren’t here, just focus on us and the ball.”

you nodded, rolling your neck with a sigh. “yeah, okay. i’ll keep that in mind.”

the lioness smiled, turning so now she was walking backwards to her spot whilst keeping her eyes on you. “i believe in you.”

and with that, she sent a quick wink your way that would’ve had your cheeks burning if it didn’t feel like it was minus ten degrees out, before she turned on her foot and your eyes met the ponytail that swayed with her body movement.

you didn’t have too much time to dwell on the whole thing, the whistle blew and all the players took a knee, before it blew again and the ball was kicked to pelova, and the game began there.

-

fifty-seven minutes flew by faster than you had imagined. the first half was a frustrating one for arsenal, with the opposing team scoring two goals and your team yet to have scored one, you were all given a stern talking to at halftime by jonas, who ended the talk with some words of encouragement in hopes that it would help you bounce back and play at the best of your ability. katie had given some words of her own, being the captain of your team for the match she was obligated to make sure you were all in the right headspace, there was no more room for mistakes, you had to go out and score before it was too late and you lost a valuable three points that could push you higher up on the table.

and you must’ve had the luck of the irish, because all of a sudden your team was on fire.

the ball stayed on your side of the pitch for the majority of the second half so far, always at the feet of a player in red, being kept far from anyone who wanted it with intentions of shooting it at your goal. you jumped for joy when in the fiftieth minute stina scored a long goal, the ball hitting the back of the net, just grazing the goalkeepers hand. you all ran to the swedish player, with grins on your faces. now, you only needed two more goals for the win.

and the second opportunity came only two minutes later, when you earned a corner kick that beth took, the ball finding its way nicely into the penalty box where you all stood, but it was lia who had the best chance. she jumped on her feet and headed the ball into the goal, the crowd erupting into loud cheers and applause, feeling more optimistic now that your team was levelled. after celebrating her goal, your team again running to the goal scorer with grins and high fives, you all ran back on the pitch now more determined than ever to win this game.

now here you were, 57:22 on the clock and the ball falling at your feet after a pass from caitlin. you quickly scoped your surroundings, working out who was being covered and who wasn’t. you held back for a few seconds, not being able to find a free player, beginning to panic a little as your opponents began closing in on you. but from afar, a hand raised and you only took a quick second glance to see it was beth on the side of the pitch, with lots of open space and ready to take the ball on. so, without any hesitation you pulled back your foot and shot the ball through the sky, past players who watched it go, too high to try and take with a headshot.

the ball landed just an inch away from beth’s foot, a perfect ball that she didn’t waste as she took the shot at the goal instantly.

you stood back in anticipation, watching the ball fly through the sky, past players who jumped up to defend the ball and stop it from reaching the goal but to your joy, they missed it by inches and the ball secured itself in the top corner of the net. once again the gooners who had been watching with extreme apprehension launched up in their seats and cried out in joy at the added goal, leaving your team now leading by 3-2.

beth’s hands pumped in the air as she ran to the fans, mirroring their reaction and cheering as loudly as she could. she was quickly followed by the rest of the girls, who jumped on her and pulled her into hugs, all bearing huge grins. you made your way over, being one of the last to reach the pile of girls but were quickly accepted into the team celebration with different sets of hands finding their way on your back and waist.

as the huddle began to separate, getting ready to continue play and hopefully score another one or two goals before full time, it was just you, beth and a few others who remained at the sideline. beth’s eyes landed on yours and her grin widened even further, if that was even possible. she didn’t waste another second and pulled you to her, her hands clapping down with gentle force on your back as she whooped in your ear.

“beautiful ball! couldn’t have done it without ya.” she praised, pulling back from the hug so she was now inches from your face.

you smiled, elated that the ball had perfectly reached beth, but more than that, you couldn’t get over the immense joy on her face as she looked at you as if you had told her she had won the lottery. you didn’t want to pull away from her intense gaze, her blue eyes shining bright under the lights that made her look even more captivating than usual. your stomach fizzled with butterflies when you caught her eyes lowering, flickering down to your lips that were parted and back up to your eyes again, the whole interaction happening so quickly you wondered if you had imagined it.

but when you pulled apart, much to both of your disappointments, your eyes met steph and she sent you a knowing look. her lips quirked upwards as she looked between the pair of you, and you knew, she knew. you had feelings for beth.

luckily the aussie didn’t stay to make any teasing comments, instead she just cocked her head to the side, signalling that you should get back in position which you did immediately, not wanting to slow the game down any further. but when you looked back at beth, you saw she was still watching you with an expression you couldn’t quite read, but it didn’t look negative in the slightest.

she sent you one last breathtaking smile, and with that, the game resumed and just silently prayed that your now racing mind wouldn’t affect the last thirty-or-so minutes of game time.

-

the final whistle blew and your team erupted, finishing the game with a 5-2 lead was definitely something to proud of, especially since you had started the second half two-nil down.

you all collided with one another, the whole thing being a blur really as you were surrounded by the whole team, even the girls on the bench had come up to join in on the joyful huddle. you were engaging in hugs here, high fives there, you even got a few kisses on your cheek and a pat on your back. it was safe to say the team was in very high spirits after the win, and you were being applauded for your assist to beth that gave your team the advantage. it was one of the best feelings, knowing your team was proud of your performance during your first game with them, and now you just had to keep playing how you did today and surely your name would move up the ranks.

“hey, we’re all planning on heading to jen’s for a little after game celebration, you down?” alessia had approached you as you all began making your way back into the tunnel, and you considered the offer.

it would be your first time hanging out with the girls out of work, and it sounded like some great bonding time that you would be stupid to pass up. so with a quick shrug, you nodded.

“yeah, sounds good. she’s alright with me coming?”

you felt an elbow playfully nudge into your arm from the opposite side of you, and you couldn’t say you were very much surprised when you saw who it was.

“don’t be silly. course she is.” beth’s voice sounded over the rest of the girls walking by you. “so you better be there or else i’ll kidnap you myself and force you there.”

you rolled your eyes in amusement, leaning into her embrace when she slid an arm over your shoulder, bringing you into her side.

“i’ll try my best.”

-

arriving at the beattie residence, you were instantly greeted by the woman herself who ushered you into the house with giddiness, clearly she had already had a drink or two in her system which was obvious by her lopsided grin and inability to stop talking as she led you inside. you tried to nod along to her ramblings best as you could, but she was talking so fast you kind of gave up in the end, relieved when you entered dining room full of the other girls who quickly pulled you into hugs, saving you from the one-on-one encounter.

sat at the table was alessia, victoria, caitlin, beth and leah. a few of the other girls were lingering around, katie and lia sat talking on the couch, viv and kyra you could see stood in the kitchen, watching steph as she seemed to be recounting a story with the way her hands were moving wildly with her words. there was music playing though it wasn’t too loud, and there were snacks littered around the house, albeit most of them had been already eaten.

you sat down at the last empty seat at the table, which happened to be between beth and vic, the dutch woman quickly handing you a beverage.

“you’re two drinks behind, time to catch up slacker.” she told you, tapping the top of the can and you rolled your eyes playfully.

“give her chance vic.” beth laughed, “she hasn’t even taken her jacket off yet.”

vic held her hands up in mock defence, “i just want to see if the newbie can outdrink any of us, that’s all.”

“god when is that nickname gonna go away.” you grumbled whilst you opened the can, eyes flashing over to beth who watched your movements. “i blame you for this.”

“me? why me?” she cried out, pointing her finger at herself in question.

“because that’s what you called me when we first met! remember?” you asked her, amused by her reaction. “and since you said it, it’s stuck. how long until i’m no longer a newbie?”

you honestly weren’t that phased by the name, you knew it was only coming from a place of love and that there was no venom behind it, but it was fun to tease the girls, especially beth who had the best reactions.

“i’d give it another few weeks, alessia had to cope with it for about a month so.” caitlin’s voice trailed off as she looked up to the ceiling in thought, “i’d say three more weeks?”

alessia nodded along with the aussie’s guess, “yeah that sounds about right.”

you all laughed at that, and you began drinking from your can as you all found yourselves floating into conversation. you talked about anything and everything, plans for the weekend, what leah had attempted to make for dinner the previous night, how excited vic was for the next season of her favourite show, the game you had just won. chat flowed so easily amongst you all and you couldn’t help the smile that had permanently etched itself onto your face, looking around at everyone you couldn’t believe how easily it had been settling in at this new club.

“what’re you so smiley about?” a yorkshire accent whispered in your ear, and you turned your head to see beth had leaned in to talk more privately.

the newfound close proximity had your heart beating in your chest just a little faster, if you were to lean forward just a few inches more your lips would be on hers. you pushed the thought to the back of your mind as you realised beth was still patiently waiting for a reply, with a raised brow.

“just happy to be here, that’s all.” you confessed.

beth’s face lit up at your answer, clearly happy with it. “good. i’m glad, we’re lucky to have you with us, you’re a proper gunner now.”

not having anything else left to say, you kept your eyes on her for a second longer, admiring the way she stared back at you with a look of fascination that you weren’t used to receiving. you were conflicted. a part of you was glad you were in a room filled with people, if it was just the two of you, you’d no doubt be a blushing, squirming mess with the intensity of her gaze that still had yet to dissipate from you.

but then the other part wished it was just you two, alone. maybe things would happen, things you had been thinking about nonstop for the last three days now. like maybe she’d confess she liked you, that she felt the same way and couldn’t get you out of her mind. then she’d kiss you, it’d be timid and gentle as you both got used to the way the other moved, but you’d eventually ease into it and want to do it for the rest of the night. and the day after that, and the day after that. everyday if you could.

but alas, that was not going to happen anytime soon. so with one last smile towards beth, you finally tore your eyes from her and began to refocus on the conversation that had been ongoing, this time with jen who had sat herself down on leah’s lap.

-

the night flew by, before you knew it the time on your phone read 11:47pm and you knew you’d have to get yourself home soon before it got too late. some of the girls had already left, the only ones remaining being steph, beth, leah, katie and caitlin. you decided you would be the next to leave as you stood from your spot on the couch, where you had moved to when you were called over by katie who wanted your opinion on something she was debating with lia.

jen watched you stand and collect your jacket, a groan of disappointment catching the attention of the others.

“not you as well newbie, come on! when did everyone get so old? you’ve got at least another hour in you.” she complained, as she had done everytime someone announced their departure.

“i know, i know.” you said, “i’m sorry but if i don’t go now there’s a risk i’ll pass out on your couch.”

“no bother, i’ll even get you a blanket if you need.”

you grinned, shaking your head whilst you retrieved up your purse from the dining room table. “as lovely as that sounds, i think i’ll get a better nights sleep if i’m in my own bed. maybe next time?”

jen waved you off, grumbling under her breath but you took no offence to her drunken mannerisms.

“how’re you getting home?”

you looked up from your phone as beth approached you, placing her half finished drink down on the table.

“oh, just gonna get an uber. same way i got here.” you shrugged, opening the app on your phone.

“why don’t i give you a lift home? saves you some money and waiting around.”

you paused as you looked at her again, “are you sure? i don’t want to make you leave early or anything.”

she shook her head instantly, diminishing any worries lingering in your mind that you’d be cutting her night short. “it’s okay i was planning on leaving myself anyways, jenn’s on her fifth drink she’s gonna start getting soppy in a minute. nobody wants to be around for that.”

you giggled at the playful jab, your eyes wandering over to jen who as beth said, was opening her next drink. you almost lost it at the worried glance steph and leah shared but managed to hold it in, instead turning your attention back to beth who was now gathering her own belongings just as you had.

you both bid farewell to the remaining four, and jen who was even more upset when she realised beth was going to be leaving too, going on another short rant about how all her friends are getting old, which entertained you to no end. you missed the way the girls all leaned in, whispering and giggling as you and beth left together, wondering if either of you were gonna stop beating around the bush and finally have a chat about your feelings that were obvious to everyone but the both of you.

you climbed into the passenger seat of beth’s car, telling the woman your address whilst you clicked your seatbelt into place at the same time, both of you happy to find out that you only actually lived a five minute drive from beth’s home.

“means i can come over whenever i want.” she had said, making your imagination run wild at the thought of her showing up at your house so you could hang out together.

the drive wasn’t too long, the journey passing by even faster than expected with beth’s great company as the two of you chatted the whole way, sharing lingering looks a few times throughout. you were almost upset when you pulled up outside your familiar driveway, knowing you probably wouldn’t be seeing beth until monday since you all had the weekend off.

you grabbed your purse, before unbuckling your seatbelt and making a move to get out of the vehicle.

“thank you for the lift, i appreciate it.” you began your goodbyes, hand moving to find the handle of the car door.

“don’t worry about it. i’ll feel a lot better going to bed tonight knowing i watched you walk through your door.” she replied, and you smiled at the heartwarming comment.

you couldn’t comprehend how close you had grown in such a short amount of time.

“well i guess i’ll see you monday then?”

“actually, i was wondering if um.” the blonde paused, swallowing as her eyes began to drift throughout the car, a huge contrast to her usual cool and calm demeanour.

“yeah?” you asked, furrowing your brows.

“i’ve just been thinking, and you can always so no! don’t feel like you have to say yes, there’ll be no hard feelings i swear. i’d just be so annoyed with myself if i went home today knowing i missed this opportunity to ask and-“

“beth, breathe.” you laughed lightly, watching the poor woman ramble on without taking a breath, “you know you can ask me anything, yeah?”

she took in a deep breath and nodded her head, seeming to gather her thoughts for a moment before she turned back to you. now her eyes stayed on you this time as she spoke with more composure.

“i was just wondering if you’d maybe like to meet up, tomorrow or sunday i’m not fussed. i’d like to take you out somewhere, like … on a date?”

your heart pounded in your chest once you brain had registered what beth had just asked you, not expecting a question like that to come from her in a million years. not right now anyways. your mouth fell slightly agape, your grip on the door handle faltering, whilst you attempted to come up with some form of response before it began to get awkward.

but it took you longer than beth liked, so she retreated in her spot and shook her head in disappointment. “it’s okay, i get it. i just thought i’d ask, i don’t even know if you like girls! i’m sorry i-“

you cut her off once again, this time with a more physical interruption rather than verbal. you surged forward, a random fluke of confidence overtaking your usually timid self that you wanted to act on before it left you again. you grabbed ahold of the blondes face at either side, shutting her up mid sentence just in time for your lips to collide with her own with urgency.

her lips were soft against yours, and you could taste the strawberry chapstick you had seen her reapplying a few times during the night as you relaxed into the display of affection. it had taken her a second to kiss back, obviously not expecting you to be so forward, especially after she was so sure you were about to reject her. but once she did, it made the kiss even more enjoyable, her lips worked against yours as if you’d done this before, several times.

you were half enticed to take the kiss a step further, with how good it felt you weren’t wanting to part anytime soon. but when a car drove past, it’s headlights shining through your eyelids, you were made aware of the fact that you were both still very much sat outside of your house, in her car, where anyone could peek in and see you making out with the footballer.

so, reluctantly you pulled back, breathing heavily as you fought to reclaim all the oxygen in your lungs that had ran out during the kiss.

“well.” beth breathed, a smile now working its way onto her slightly swollen lips. “i wasn’t expecting that.”

you both fell into a round of laughter, both just as shocked at how the night had turned around. you never imagined that waking up today, you would end the night by kissing the arsenal striker after she had asked you on a date.

“it’s a yes by the way, if it wasn’t already obvious.”

“hmm?”

“i’d love to go on a date with you beth.”

that noticeably cheered up the woman immensely, she perked up in her seat and the smile you had been obsessing over recently doubled in size. she reached over the console and grabbed ahold of your hand, bringing the back of it to her face so she could press a gentle peck to your knuckles.

“great. i’ll message you tomorrow and we can plan it, yeah?” she said, and you nodded in agreement.

“sounds like a plan.”

with that, you reached for your purse and turned to leave once again, this time less disheartened about having to abandon the woman beside you now that you knew you’d be back together sooner rather than later.

you climbed out, shutting the door behind you before you turned to lean a tad through the open window. “get home safe.”

“i will, don’t worry. i’ll message you when i’m in.”

“yes please do.” you smiled gratefully, “i’ll see you later.”

“bye gorgeous.”

your cheeks burned at the compliment, already liking the turn in your relationship. beth noticed the darker shade in your face and laughed, making you tutt in faux offence as you turned your back on her.

“hey now! none of that. if you can’t handle something as simple as that then you’re gonna hate what i give you on our date.”

“as long as i’m getting fed free food at the same time, i don’t think i’ll care too much.”

again, the blonde laughed and you revelled in how much she seemed to enjoy your humour, the moment taking you back to when you first met her, when you had managed to make her laugh within the first ten minutes.

it was safe to say, signing over to arsenal was easily the best decision you had made in your entire life.