#drewtunes

[son-of-an-artblog]

I'm sorry but this flashed into my mind and i had to draw it i had no Choice

[gardenergulfie]

Babysitting a Demigod chapter 1

Rating: G

Word Count: 1816

Chapters: 1/4

Relationships: Fluctra & drewtunes, Other Relationship Tags to Be Added

Characters: drewtunes, Fluctra, Other Character Tags to Be Added

Additional Tags: Canon Compliant, Fluff, No Plot/Plotless, Not RPF, Humor

“Make fort then knife.” The child said. Awareness dawned on Fluctra slowly as she processed his words.

“You want me to make a fort with you and then you’ll give me the knife?” Fluctra asked. The toddler stared at her with an expression that clearly read “Yes, you dumbass.” It was a creepy expression to see on a baby’s face but she got the message.

--

Drew's not a normal 2 year old by any means and anyone who babysits him has to learn how to manage a demigod.

AO3 link Next Chapter

Fic below the cut

The hidden basement of the Castrators Assassin Guild was awfully quiet today. Well, actually it was a pretty nice amount of quiet for Fluctra. She was sitting in a chair in the main hallway, cleaning and taking care of her weapons. Everyone else was out today, doing contracts and other business. Even Isa, who normally stayed here to manage the bakery front, had left. Fluctra thought the vampire mentioned running low on sugar a few days ago. Fluctra flipped a knife offhandedly before checking it at the wall. It sunk into the wooden wall like, well, a hot knife through butter. Satisfied, Fluctra retrieved it, setting it with her set.

A small clamor caught Fluctra’s attention. Fluctra stiffened before beginning to walk quietly towards the noise. Thoughts of intruders flashed through her brain before she heard the familiar babbles of a young child coming from the crash. Well it seems like she isn’t the only one here after all. Fluctra rounded the corner to see Drew, Erin’s beloved son, sitting on the floor. The small dark-haired child dressed in his usual pink sweatshirt was surrounded by many different items: Isa’s metal pans, some chiseled bits for building, the towels normally used to clean blood off blades, and a woven basket overturned. Fluctra didn’t question how he’d gotten all this stuff, she knew it was better not to ask honestly. He was just a really strange toddler, everyone knew that. Child of god and all that jazz. Said child of god was looking up at her as she stared at him. Fluctra wasn’t the greatest with kids. No one was hiring her to murder them and as such she really didn’t interact with them much, being an assassin and all. Drew was the only exception but she still wasn’t dealing with him by herself like, ever. Erin always had someone watching him to make sure he didn’t get hurt and Fluctra made sure she never was assigned babysitting duties. She may respect Erin but she has limits.

Speaking of a babysitter, where was Drew’s? The kid was just stealing stuff unsupervised. Sure he could get away with basically anything even with a guardian watching him but touching Isa’s bakeware was basically asking to be murdered, everyone knew that. There’s no way anyone would just let Erin’s kid do something that would put him in any kind of danger. Plus no one was here today. It was just Fluctra as the only adult around. Well, the only person older than a toddler around but you get the point. Someone was supposed to be watching this kid and it was not Fluctra.

Fluctra looked over at the babysitting chart tapped to the wall, still making sure to keep one eye on Drew. It wasn’t her name listed under today’s date, no; in fact, it was Hunter’s. Fluctra groaned. Hunter was not the best person to trust with a kid. Flucta knew he disliked babysitting duties, well most duties in general. Hell, he’s not even here most days. Someone must have thought it would have been a pretty sick joke to write him down for today’s date. Well Fluctra is not laughing, seeing as Hunter is nowhere to be seen and she’s the only one around. Great, now she’s a babysitter. Her quiet day of relaxing weapons cleaning just got cancelled because now she has to make sure Drew doesn’t accidentally kill himself.

Speaking of Drew, she should probably be keeping an eye on him. Fluctra focused back on Drew to see that he was not by his mess of stuff. In fact, he wasn’t anywhere in her line of sight. Fluctra could feel a headache coming on. She got lost in thought for one minute and the kid’s gone. Great, just great. Now she has to go find this kid.

Luckily for her, toddlers are not quiet at all and her trained assassin ears picked up on the telltale signs of mischief being made down the hall. The same place in the hall that she was just sitting in while she cleaned her weapons. The same place that had. All. Her. Weapons. Welp, Fluctra is doomed.

Speedwalking back into the other room, Fluctra was met with the sight of a small child holding a very big knife. Seriously, how is he even picking that up? It looks like a broadsword in his tiny hands.

“Drew, put down the knife.” She commanded in what she hoped in a gentle tone. Drew, lawless child that he is, instead just pointed the knife at her. Ok, bad, the toddler has a knife and also seems to know how to use it. If this were any other person she’d be commending their form but this is Erin’s fucking kid who is pointing a knife at her. See, this is why children shouldn’t be allowed to spectate on spars. They learn.

The two of them were at an impasse. Drew was not putting down the knife and Fluctra did not want to get near Drew holding the knife. She’s pretty sure he’d stab her right in the shin, he’s at the perfect level for that. Fluctra wracked her brain for any other solution to this problem that did not involve her being stabbed and maybe even losing a few fingers. What did kids like? Toys? Drew had toys but honestly she thinks the knife might count as a toy to him right now. Food? Maybe she could bribe him! Now that’s an idea.

“Drew, if you give me the knife I’ll get you snacks. Snacks are better than knives. Snacks yum yum.” God this was awful, she was baby-talking to an actual baby. How the mighty had fallen, from feared assassin to stressed babysitter. Thank god no one else was around to see this.

Drew thought on her offer before simply saying, “No.” Fluctra was surprised that he even knew words but then again she really didn’t know how babies work. He’d never spoken to her, that's for sure. He’d rejected her offer so she needed another one. She still wasn’t ready to risk losing a limb to a child. Again she thought hard about what kids might like. Her mind went back to all those items he had dropped on the floor. Maybe she could make a trade?

Fluctra rushed back to that part of the base, calling a quick “Stay there” behind her. She piled all the stuff into the basket and made her way back to Drew who was still holding the knife.

“Ok I have your stuff. I have no idea what you might want with this but you were carrying it so you probably needed it for something. So here’s my deal, we trade this stuff for the knife.” The teenage assassin offered. Drew gave her the most deadpan look she’d ever seen on a toddler’s face. Fluctra shivered. Those dark beady eyes really stared into your soul huh.

“Fort.” He stated. Fluctra blinked in confusion.

“What?” She said dumbly. Fluctra, trained assassin of 15 years old, rendered speechless from the word of a child. She was so happy no one else was here to see this. At least god granted her one small mercy today.

“Make fort then knife.” The child said. Awareness dawned on Fluctra slowly as she processed his words.

“You want me to make a fort with you and then you’ll give me the knife?” Fluctra asked. The toddler stared at her with an expression that clearly read “Yes, you dumbass.” It was a creepy expression to see on a baby’s face but she got the message.

“Ok ok we’ll make a fort. Just follow me, we can use the meeting room table as a base.” Fluctra said, hefting the basket of fort-making items up and walking with Drew the Pointy Menace to the meeting room. She was already planning the fort in her head. They could use Isa’s pans for walls and the towels for banners. The chairs could be used as support and Fluctra was tall enough to reach the top of the closet where she knows the extra sheets are. Fluctra may be being coerced into making this fort but damn is it going to be the best fort ever made.

An hour and a half later, the fort was done. A masterpiece of engineering seeing as it was made by a teenage assassin and a baby. It was cosy inside and big enough for Fluctra to sit up straight and not bonk her head, which she was doing. A mess of blankets and pillows covered the stone floor and Drew was making good use of them. He still had the knife but was using his other hand to finish the detailing of the final wall. Yes, there was detailing on the walls. Fluctra did say this would be the best fort ever made.

But the fort was made and Fluctra really needed that knife back. It was getting late and she did not want anyone coming back to find Drew holding a knife and Fluctra just standing there. She cleared her throat loudly and held out her hand. Drew looked down at her hand and for a moment Fluctra worried he wasn’t going to keep his end of the deal but thankfully that moment passed and the knife was dropped safely into her hand. Fluctra checked it over, making sure that it wasn’t here in any way or that Drew hadn’t tried to teethe on it or anything. Thankfully, it was fine. Fluctra secured the blade back in its rightful place in one of her many secret compartments hidden in her armor.

“Well this was fun but I really have to leave. Weapons won’t polish themselves. We should do this again sometime. Actually, we shouldn't. I am not babysitting anymore.” Fluctra said to Drew as she climbed out of the fort. She looked back at him and he looked at her with his strangely intelligent and nerving baby face.

“…Ok, fine, the fort building was fun and maybe, just maybe, we could do it again.” Fluctra admitted. It's those dark eyes, man, they see everything and just force it outta you. Drew didn’t say anything but gave Fluctra a nod. Fluctra nodded back. Interaction over with, she left the kid to his fort. And just in time, she could hear light footsteps coming from the bakery upstairs. From the sounds of it Isa and Erin are back. Perfect. No more babysitting duty for her now that Drew’s mom is back.

“Has anyone seen my pans?” Came the call of Isa’s voice. Fluctra winced. Oh, god, she really hoped she’s not gonna get murdered for it. If Drew snitches she swears to god she will commit child murder. Fluctra speed away from the soon to be murderscene of one baby. That child really wasn’t her problem anymore. She had weapons to clean.

[conarcoin]

POC minecraft content creators and where you can support them

because i want to uplift more poc mc ccs :) i tried to include both big and small ccs! some of these people are variety streamers/youtubers but also make minecraft content or are associated with the mc community! i hope you can find some new ccs you enjoy here :)

feel free to add on, i listed as many as i could think of but obviously this isn’t an exhaustive list ^_^;;

39daph: youtube | twitch

Andivmg: twitch

Angelicat: youtube | twitch

AqoursHatesMe: twitch

AssassinPlays: youtube

Astelic: youtube 

Bitzel: youtube | twitch

Blushi: youtube | twitch

Brumin: youtube | twitch

Chromaatical: twitch

Colorsisabel: twitch

Cuptoast: youtube | twitch

Cxlvxn: youtube

Cyberonix: youtube | twitch

Doni Bobes: youtube

Drewtunes: youtube | twitch

DropsByPonk: youtube | twitch

Dtowncat: twitch

Fluctra: twitch

GEVids: youtube | twitch

Huahwi: youtube | twitch

IAmTy: youtube | twitch

Jamba: twitch

KentaiHaven: youtube | twitch

Mefs: youtube | twitch

Meilqnii: youtube | twitch

Ninzkabinz: youtube | twitch

ohMods: youtube | twitch

Pokay: youtube | twitch

Phoodu: youtube | twitch

Quackity: youtube | twitch

Rachxo: twitch

Skeppy: youtube 

Squidney80: youtube | twitch

TalentLacking: youtube | twitch

TapL: youtube | twitch

Toxxxicsupport: youtube | twitch

Vikkstar123: youtube | minecraft specific channel | twitch

Wallibear: youtube | twitch

Willcreated: twitch

Wuna: youtube | twitch

xNestorio: youtube | twitch

Yahiamice: youtube | twitch

YoItsGold: youtube | twitch

[nvrblonde]

HELLO

its me drewtunes and this is my formal greetings to ballsblr just thought it would be good for you guys to know im here, considering...

[roseblings-moved]

heres a list of people who are confirmed to be involved in the arg

itselectra

drewtunes

startravellerserilly

colorsisabel

axolune

tevestv

theweirdlobster

bobofhydra

raisin505

[jinxpologist]

 from the ashes created by

the boy angel,

itselectra discord server seems to think the “boy angel” referred to here is drew. if anyone knows anything about drew’s lore, or any other character this could possibly refer to, lmk. i’m not too familiar with the storyline.

a valley is sculpted

a new world is created? a valley is implied to be lower than the ground around it, specifically between mountains, but it could also be referring to the valley of a crater. a crater possibly created by said “boy angel” in an explosion, maybe? ashes implies some sort of destruction, but it could just as well be metaphorical as it could be literal.

where the grass glitters like emeralds and the trees illuminate the dark.

this imagery is very bright and beautiful - it implies a revitalization of the very world itself. using nature (grass and trees) as an example for this also implies a fresh start, or at least that nature has reclaimed the land. as for the light motifs, i have no idea - could be referring to hope, but i feel it’s more literal than that. either way, very serene imagery here.

in one month. everyone will reawaken. 

self explanatory. in one month (idk if this is exact or not, but i’m going to assume it’s near or on the 9th of december) the server will “reawaken” in some way (possible a reset) and the story will start up again.

overall this seems to imply a server reset of some sorts, possibly far into the future? the story is also going to be coming back in full swing. i know that itselectra, drewtunes, startravellerserilly, and colorsisabel are involved. anything other than that, i’m not sure. but this speaks of revitalization, and i’m very excited.

[ipotane]

one day drewtunes will officially release music and i will loop it for the rest of my waking life

[gardenergulfie]

Sometimes a family is a girlboss assassin, god, the son of the assassin and god who’s a 2 year old alchololic, and an evil catboy who may or may not be dating the assassin

[gardenergulfie]

DREW’S KARL IMPRESSION IS SO BAD ITS GOOD I LOVE IT

[gardenergulfie]

Babysitting a Demigod chapter 2

Rating: G

Word Count: 4578

Chapters: 2/4

Relationships: Fluctra & drewtunes, Other Relationship Tags to Be Added, drewtunes & Taffietv, drewtunes & Erin | ItsElectra, Erin | ItsElectra/Taffietv, its very minor but we are sticking with canon so its there

Characters: drewtunes, Fluctra, Other Character Tags to Be Added, Taffietv, Erin | ItsElectra,

Additional Tags: Canon Compliant, Fluff, No Plot/Plotless, Not RPF, Humor, Pov Multiple

Drew made grabby hands with his free hand toward Taffie. Taffie reluctantly allowed Drew to take his hand, placing it palm up. Drew pulled something out of his pocket and placed it in Taffie’s open hand.

It was a fish.

A very real, very wet fish.

Taffie just blinked in confusion at this strange gift. His brain just shut off. The only thing he could say was, “Why?”

“‘Cause you a cat.” Drew stated like it was the most obvious thing in the world. “Cats like fish.”

AO3 link Prev Chapter Next Chapter

Fic below the cut

Taffie’s feet made a soft thump noise as the teleporter deposited him on the roof of the sanctuary. He made his way inside, letting out a deep breath when he reached the inner room. He’d made this journey many times and yet it never stopped being stressful. It didn’t help that he had just gotten out of a rough meeting with the heads of GMC. He really hated those meetings. So much pressure on him as the founder to make all the right decisions. It was better when Poiya was still here but well he couldn’t dwell on that. He had paperwork to do. Taffie actually didn’t hate paperwork that much. Sure, reading all the legal jargon and doing math in his head wasn’t fun but it was better than meetings. Much quieter work.

Taffie settled down against a wall in the sanctuary, bemoaning the lack of comfy chairs. Erin really should have gotten more comfier furniture for their home, er, temporary home. Wait, he was the one who encouraged them to not leave the sanctuary. Ok, that was his bad, but he’s not going to tell them that. He’ll just bring some comfy chairs with him next time he makes the trip here. Safety wasn’t worth it if you couldn’t have nice seating.

Taffie pulled out the first stack of paper and prepared to lose himself in a mess of words and numbers. Ugh, taxes. He sighed. Welp, the sooner he finishes the sooner he can actually relax in his own home.

Some movement caught his eye. Erin’s kid was toddling around the room. Taffie narrowed his eyes. That means that Erin probably isn’t here, Drew’s always hanging around his mom when she’s at the sanctuary. That's good, it would be hard to focus with her here but also bad because sooner or later that kid’s going to come over here and distract him. Maybe if he stays quiet the child won’t see him? Taffie sits as still as he can and just watches Drew do whatever it is kids do. The little kid wobbled over to a chest, hefted open the lid, and pulled out a box of juice. Taffie squinted at the table on the box. Tomato juice? He knew Erin’s parenting style was a bit odd but what parent would let their kid drink tomato juice? Wait actually there’s a high chance that Yahi had been the one to introduce Drew to tomato juice. That chaotic masked man was addicted to ketchup and tomato juice was just ketchup light. Ok criticism of Erin’s parenting style retracted. No one could stop Yahi from committing chaos, not even a former assassin like Erin.

It didn’t seem like Drew was going to bug him, at least not yet, so Taffie went back to his work, ignoring the sounds of Drew drinking his juice. Ah, great, it seems like Ruepa’s trying to dodge taxes again. Seriously, the man thinks that just because he’s a journalist means that he’s immune from paying his taxes. Well, he’s not. If Taffie had his way then Ruepa wouldn’t be in GMC at all, but kicking him out would just mean bad press for Taffie. Hopefully he and Erin can put their plan into motion soon. He really wanted that nosy fucker gone.

Taffie let himself get lost in his work, mindlessly crunching numbers and internally grumbling about the other residents of GMC. He’d never say any of that out loud— that would ruin his image— but it was safe to just think it. Sue him, he had a really bad day. Meetings ran long and Fluctra accused him again of “Conspiring with Erin'' which yes, he was doing that but still she didn’t need to yell at him. Taffie’s ears flattened at the memory but perked up again when he heard a squelching noise coming towards him.

Ah, it seems like Drew was walking towards him again but now soaking wet. Lovely.

Drew walked right up to Taffie and plopped down next to him. Taffie tried to ignore him but ignoring babies is kind of impossible, they just won’t let you. The 2 year old gave Taffie’s tail a weak tug. Taffie pulled it out of his damp fingers and looked down at him.

“What?” Taffie tried to keep his tone level but his annoyance from all of the day’s bullshit seeped into his words. The toddler didn’t flinch at his harsher tone but instead reached into his pocket. Oh no, this kid had a gift for him. On one hand, gifts are always fun and it was a bit heartwarming that Drew had gotten him one. On the other hand, he really doubted that a 2 year old was the best at picking out a gift.

Drew made grabby hands with his free hand toward Taffie. Taffie reluctantly allowed Drew to take his hand, placing it palm up. Drew pulled something out of his pocket and placed it in Taffie’s open hand.

It was a fish.

A very real, very wet fish.

Taffie just blinked in confusion at this strange gift. His brain just shut off. The only thing he could say was, “Why?”

“‘Cause you a cat.” Drew stated like it was the most obvious thing in the world. “Cats like fish.”

“I’m… not a cat.” Taffie’s brain was slowly rebooting. “Why did you think I was a cat?”

Drew pointed up at Taffie’s pink ears. “Cat ears.”

“Drew, I’m a wolf. These are wolf ears.” Taffie told the child. Drew tilted his head in confusion. Taffie would have facepalmed if he wasn’t holding important documents in one hand and a real fish in the other. Why did so many people think he was a cat? He is very clearly a wolf.

Just when Taffie was about to take the time out of his day to explain to Drew the difference between a catperson and a wolfperson he felt a twitch in his hand. He looked down just in time to see the fish twitch.

Taffie shrieked and dropped the fish, scrambling away. Bad, bad, bad, bad, bad! He furiously wiped his hand off on his pants, walking backwards away from the still twitching fish. Drew just stared at him before picking up the fish and putting it back in his pocket.

“Drew, where did you get a live fish from?” Taffie gasped out, his heart finally beginning to calm. He didn’t know why a live fish was so much worse than a dead one, it just was ok? Don’t question him. In lieu of an answer Drew just pointed out the window. Right, the indoor lake had fish in it.

Wait.

“You climbed the ladder with a live fish in your pocket?” Taffie asked incredulously. The pond was a whole floor lower! There’s only a ladder leading up or down! There’s not even safety rails! Taffie was really being reminded of how not toddler friendly the sanctuary was. If it wasn’t for the fact that this kid was functionally immortal Taffie was sure that he would have been permadead within the first week of living here.

Drew shook his head rapidly, dark hair falling into his face and exposing tiny horns that Taffie knew would grow to be just like Erin’s. The kid took a step forward and then just went up. How in the world? The fucking toddler can fly now? Or well, float, Taffie guesses. He doesn’t seem to have very good control, with how he smacked his head into the ceiling.

“Ok, the child of a literal god and a half-demon via immaculate conception has weird powers. I really should have seen this coming.” Taffie muttered to himself as Drew slowly floated back down to the floor. “Well, now that we know how you got the fish, we should really put it back. It was a very thoughtful gift, but seeing as I’m not a cat and that fish is very much still alive, we should release it back to its home. That sound good, Drew?” Taffie spoke with his politest business voice that he only really pulled out when he had to be nice to someone he really couldn’t anger. He didn’t think Drew would get angry, but if Taffie was mean, he might tell Erin and that would be bad. He did not want Erin being mad at him. She was scary. It was kinda hot but still, not fun. He’d lost his train of thought. What was he talking about? Right, putting the fish back.

Drew thought on Taffie’s words before nodding and beginning to walk over to the opening that led down to the pond. Before Taffie could say any words of warning, the demigod child jumped. Oh god, did Erin’s kid just die right in front of him? Taffie rushed over to the ledge just in time to hear a muffled splash and see Drew doggy-paddling over to the edge of the pond. Right, water. Thank goodness Erin had gotten this kid some swimming lessons. Taffie inhaled sharply, thankful that he didn’t just witness a child’s demise. Wait, isn't Drew immortal? Taffie felt a little bit dumb for forgetting that, but he was still kinda rattled from the fish incident.

Taffie made his way down to the grassy bottom floor of the sanctuary, taking the ladder because he is not risking that jump. He met up with Drew, who was grabbing fistfuls of sand and throwing them into the pond. Just 2 year old things, Taffie assumed.

“So, Drew, where’s the fish? Did you let it free already?” Taffie asked, stepping a bit closer to the edge of the pond. Drew pulled the still struggling fish out of his pocket and showed it to Taffie.

“Good, now just drop the fish-“ Before Taffie can finish talking, Drew yeeted the fish across the lake. Drew’s tiny toddler muscles mean that the fish doesn’t go very far and in fact lands directly in the middle of the pond before swimming away.

“Yes, I guess that’s one way to do that.” Taffie muttered. “Now that we’ve freed the fish, can we go back inside? There’s some papers I really need to finish working on.”

Drew just looked up at Taffie, already elbow deep in the lake. “No.” He stated simply.

“No? Listen, Drew, I have really important work to get done and I can’t just leave you here alone, even if you’re normally out here alone, so can we please just go back-'' Taffie was once again interrupted by Drew but instead of the kid yeeting a fish across a lake, he has instead decided to splash a wave of water into Taffie’s face. Taffie sputtered, ears pinned back and hair utterly drenched. Ok, maybe the cat comparison was accurate after all, because he really, really hated this. Taffie wiped the water droplets off his glasses in order to see the gleeful look on Drew’s face. Without thinking, Taffie sent a wave of his own straight at Drew’s face.

“Take that!” He yelled, the glee of committing an act of vengeance running through him. Before he could feel even the slightest amount of guilt at committing an act of violence against a toddler, said toddler committed another act of violence by splashing Taffie yet again. Ok, kid, it’s on.

It was war now. Taffie ducked away from Drew’s second splash, leaping up and running to shelter. He grabbed one of Drew’s stay toys as he ran, a bucket for sand, and used it to scoop water for amo. Drew grabbed his own weapon, a toy pistol that shoots water, and began floating into the air. From then on the two went all out, making sure to get each other as soaked as possible. They battled for quite a while, trading blows and making up new plans. Taffie was beginning to think that this battle would never end, but then Drew dropped out of the sky and into Taffie’s arms. The lil dude was worn out from the playtime and also from using a lot of godly magic. Taffie was also tired, and he leaned against one of the pastel trees, dropping Drew down next to him.

“Ha, I win.” Taffie says weakly. “I won a splash war against a toddler. Wow, I sound really pathetic saying that out loud.”

Drew gave him a look that very clearly said, “You are.”

“Well that was actually kind of fun. Who knew that-“ A loud crack interrupted his sentence, and Taffie whipped his head over to the source of the noise. Drew didn’t seem alarmed but Taffie was frightened. Was it one of his many enemies, come to finally assassinate him?

His eyes flashed as he scanned the room only to see the last seconds of invisibility drain away from the person, leaving Erin standing there, wings tucked behind her and a mischievous glint in her eyes.

Taffie’s shoulders relaxed, relieved that it wasn’t an enemy of his, before stiffening up again. He was by the pond having a splash fight with Drew, both of them soaked to the bone with water. Oh no, his reputation was doomed. Erin had their hand over their face and was visibly holding back laughter at his disheveled appearance.

“Having fun boys?” They asked in a teasing tone. Taffie just glared at her even when Drew stood up, shook himself to get the water out, and ran over to her, babbling like toddlers do. She cooed and hoisted him up into her arms. “Wasn’t expecting to see both of you playing around in the water when I came back, but I am not complaining.”

“This never leaves this room. Don’t say anything.” Taffie tried to be intimidating but it was ruined by the water seeping out of his hair. Erin just chuckled.

‘Who would I even tell? Don’t worry, Taffie, your secret is safe with me.” They said with a wink. Taffie willed himself not to be flustered as he sulked past them.

“I need to finish my work. Have a good night you two.” Taffie said as he turned back to them both. He tried to reign his tone back to its calm and charismatic norm but it really wasn’t working today. Erin’s expression was still mirthful, even as Drew was starting to chew on her hair.

“You could always just stay. It's getting late and I picked up some fast-food while I was out.” He knew that by picked up she meant stole. “There’s more than enough for all of us. You can always do your work later.” Erin suggested. Taffie opened his mouth to retort but honestly, he’s tired. It had already been a hectic and stressful day and he really didn’t want to do more paperwork. A hot meal with someone he actually likes talking to sounds so much better than working till he can barely stay awake, popping a frozen meal into the oven and passing out before he can even finish eating it.

“…Fine. I’ll stay for dinner. Thank you for the kind offer.” He finally said. Erin’s face lit up with a smile before she squashed it with a neutral expression. For a former assassin Erin really wasn’t the best at not letting her feelings show all over her face.

“That's great. I’ll go start dishing it out. Mind watching Drew for a moment more?” They asked. Taffie scoffed.

“Oh, absolutely not. Please, don’t leave me alone with that hellion.” He said, forgetting to not be rude. Erin outright laughed her signature cackle at that statement.

“And here I was thinking you two were getting along.” She teased. “That's fine. Drew can stay with me. You’ll have to help carry plates though. I won’t have enough hands.” Erin waved her one free hand not holding a 2 year old to make a point. Taffie nodded.

“I can do that.” He said, just happy to not have to babysit any longer. Enough was enough. Taffie relaxed as the two of them started working on dinner, exchanging familiar banter. He remembered why he liked Erin so much, she was fun and brought energy to the room that Taffie couldn’t bring himself. Without the standard tension that surrounded the two of them ever since the disbanding of the Castrators, it was actually nice being around her. Taffie felt his nerves draining away for the first time that day. He needed to visit the Sanctuary more often, even if the risk was high and a small child was there, ready to accost him at any moment. There wasn’t a more relaxing place.

[son-of-an-artblog]

Demigod Drew, our beloved

(Also yes he drinks alcohol with a bendy straw, you cannot change my HC)

[gardenergulfie]

Babysitting a Demigod Chapter 3

Rating: G

Word Count: 7540

Chapters: 3/4

Relationships: Fluctra & drewtunes, Other Relationship Tags to Be Added, drewtunes & Taffietv, drewtunes & Erin | ItsElectra, Erin | ItsElectra/Taffietv, its very minor but we are sticking with canon so its there, drewtunes & Colorsisabel, Erin | ItsElectra & Colorsisabel

Characters: drewtunes, Fluctra, Other Character Tags to Be Added, TaffieTV, Erin | ItsElectra, Colorsisabel

Additional Tags: Canon Compliant, Fluff, No Plot/Plotless, Not RPF, Humor, POV Multiple, Alternate Universe - Balls SMP Setting

Isa thought it over. Back when the Castrators were still a guild, they’d had a whole calendar to see who would watch Drew when Erin went to complete hits. Isa had watched him from time to time, and it wasn’t that hard. He’d mostly crawled around the bakery while they baked and kept one eye on him. Sure, Drew was older now, but they could probably still watch him and make their goods for that day. Plus, it felt nice that Erin had asked them. Familiar in a way that they and Erin had slowly been building back to. Plus extra cash is never a bad thing.

“Sure, I can do that. Can’t be that hard.” Isa said with a shrug. Erin gave them a look, the look of an exhausted parent, but didn’t say anything. Drew had been running Erin ragged, that much was clear, but Isa was a centuries old vampire with decades of experience with kids. They could handle one 2 year old demigod, easy!

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Fic below the cut

It was a bright morning at Starfall Bakery and Isa was up and already working on the day’s batches of baked goods. They hummed softly as they grabbed the necessary ingredients. They had just recently come across one of their old recipes for chorus fruit cake and they were excited to try baking them again. It has been a couple decades since they’d made that particular recipe but from what they remembered it was relatively simple. Flour, sugar, eggs, butter, diced chorus fruit and some spices were all it took. Isa smiled to themself as they grabbed 4 eps from the fridge. Today was shaping up to be a good day.

The chiming of the bell hanging above the bakery door pulled Isa away from their thoughts of baked goods. It was exceptionally early for customers to be showing up, they weren’t even officially open. Ah, but this wasn’t one of their normal customers. Isa stepped around the counter and approached them

“Erin and Drew, hello!” Isa greeted with their normal amount of cheer, “It's awfully early for you two to be up. Has something happened?” Isa hoped that Erin didn’t come here to share any bad news. Fawnde and Eun are still at large and Isa is worried for their safety at times, even if they didn’t live that close to Spawntown or Balls City. Being a former assassin was a good way to gain an unhealthy amount of paranoia.

“Nothing bad’s happened, don’t worry.” Erin started speaking only to be cut off by a large yawn. “I’m just here to buy some quick breakfast for me and Drew and to ask a favor of you.” Drew wiggles in her arms and Erin sets him down on the floor. The sight of the little kid wandering around the bakery brought back good memories of when heard Erin lived here. God, that was only a few months ago. It feels like so much has happened since then. But now’s not the time to dwell on that. 

“I can do breakfast. As for a favor, we’ll have to see.” Isa said lightly. They and Erin may be on good terms now, but there are things that Isa isn’t willing to do for her anymore. Erin isn’t their leader anymore, and Isa is frankly done with assassin work. They may want the Castrators reunited— safety in numbers was needed with Fawnde and Eun on the loose— but they’re not involving themself in murders. Isa’s gonna need Erin to talk more about what this favor is before they can think about accepting.

Erin followed Isa back into the kitchen, leaning against the counter just like she used to do while Isa pulled out some of their leftover goods from yesterday. A bit stale but still good for a quick breakfast. Erin took them and started eating one, handing the other to Drew as he toddled past her on his bumblings around the shop.

“The favor isn’t anything severe, I’m not gonna ask you to get involved in anything dirty. I just need someone to babysit Drew.” Erin said between bites.

“I’m needed at a meeting with Schmeeb and Lumi at Balls City in, like, half an hour and last time I took Drew with me, I could barely focus on what was actually being said. I don’t really have anyone else I’d trust to watch him and I can’t leave him at the sanctuary alone anymore, his powers are getting too strong to be left alone unsupervised.” Erin’s wings flicked behind her nervously as she spoke. “I’m sorry that this is so last minute, I just couldn’t find anyone else. I can pay you for your time spent.” 

Isa thought it over. Back when the Castrators were still a guild, they’d had a whole calendar to see who would watch Drew when Erin went to complete hits. Isa had watched him from time to time, and it wasn’t that hard. He’d mostly crawled around the bakery while they baked and kept one eye on him. Sure, Drew was older now, but they could probably still watch him and make their goods for that day. Plus, it felt nice that Erin had asked them. Familiar in a way that they and Erin had slowly been building back to. Plus extra cash is never a bad thing.

“Sure, I can do that. Can’t be that hard.” Isa said with a shrug. Erin gave them a look, the look of an exhausted parent, but didn’t say anything. Drew had been running Erin ragged, that much was clear, but Isa was a centuries old vampire with decades of experience with kids. They could handle one 2 year old demigod, easy!

“If you’re sure?” Erin asked again. Isa rolled their eyes not unkindly. 

“Yes, Erin, I’m sure. Really, this will be fun! Drew and I haven’t hung out in ages and I’ve missed the li’l guy.” Isa said, peering over at where Drew was trying to climb onto one of the wooded chairs. Yep, same old Drew.

“You get going to your important meeting, we wouldn’t want you to be late. I’ve got this.” Isa said, shooing Erin out of the bakery. Erin squawked in surprise but let herself be herded outside with one last look back at Drew.

“Be nice for Miss Isa, ok, Drew?” They called back right before the door shut. Drew was focused on using his tiny arms to scale the furniture and probably didn’t hear them, but that’s fine! Drew’s a nice kid and Isa’s sure he won’t be any trouble.

With a small skip, Isa made their way back to their workstation and got back to business. They began measuring and mixing the ingredients with a grace that came from years of baking. They were in the zone and completely focused on their work. In no time at all, the first cake was baking in the oven. As Isa began scooping the remaining cake batter into a second tin, they remembered that there was someone they were supposed to be watching. A quick glance around the shop showed them that Drew was just playing with the puppies. How nice.

Wait, no, Drew’s was trying to pet Keith. Uh-oh.

A quick dash around the counter and Isa reached Drew just in time to lift him up and away from the still snarling dog. Ok, so maybe they needed to keep a bit of a closer eye on Drew. He nearly got chomped.

“Keith doesn’t really like pets, but Hunk over here loves them. Why don’t you go pet Hunk?” Isa led Drew away from the unhappy dog and towards a very fluffy and very content dog in a yellow collar. Drew wasted no time just falling into Hunk’s soft fur and giving the dog all the pats. Isa chuckled at the sight of the little kid consumed by the floof of the giant dog. That should keep him busy for a while longer.

Isa went back to work filling the smaller tin with batter, making sure to actually watch Drew this time. He was still face down in Hunk’s soft fur. The ring of Isa’s timer let them know that the cake was done cooking and they switched the fully cooked cake for the tin of batter in the oven. Now it was their favorite part, decorating. Their recipe called for frosting and chorus fruit slices. Grabbing the buttercream frosting out of the fridge, Isa got to work adding decor to the light purple cake. They were so in the zone again that they almost didn’t notice the ringing of the door chimes 

Isa looked up, confused to not see anyone walking in. “Hello?” They asked, in the hopes that maybe it was an invisible person who forgot they still had the effect on, and not an intruder coming to kidnap them. Still, nothing. They scanned the room.

Wait, where was Drew?

Isa only took their eyes off him for a minute and he’s gone! They didn’t know he could reach the door-handle; that didn’t mean that it was ok for them to look away from him. Argh! This was so much easier when he was a baby who could barely even crawl. Ok, deep breaths, Isa. They’re a vampire, they can track one demigod, right?

Running out the door, Isa transformed into a bat and took off into the air. He couldn’t have gotten far, he’s a kid. They weaved through the trees of the forest, ears flicking every which way for any sound of the toddler. Nothing. Drew had always been a quiet child, but now Isa was really wishing he spoke more often, or at least made some noise. It would be so much easier to track him down.

As Isa began flying over the river near the bakery, they got a flash of deja vu. This wasn’t the first time that Drew had run away before. He was always a free-spirited kid and would often escape the watch of his babysitters to go and try and find his mom. Luckily for the Castrators, he never got too far before they found him and brought him back. It would’ve been really bad if Erin learned that Drew was somehow sneaking away from fully trained assassins. How had they forgotten that? Isa cursed their less-than-great memory. Too many centuries lived meant that details and events got a bit muddled sometimes. At least now they knew where to look. If Drew was looking for his mom, he was probably on the way to Balls City. Isa banked in that direction and flew, hoping that they would find him before Erin did. They did not want to get in trouble with her.

Luckily for Isa, they soon spotted the wayward demigod. He was steadily walking through the woods, occasionally floating upwards to get over obstacles and then gliding down on tiny wings. Right, demigod powers. Erin had said that he’d gotten stronger. 

“Drew!” Isa called out once they landed and transformed back into a humanoid form.

“Hey buddy, what are you doing out here?” Isa asked. They actually had a good idea of what he was doing, but with kids, it never hurt to ask. Drew looked back at them for a second before he kept walking.

“Goin’ to Er’n.” Drew responded.

Yep, Isa was right. He does want his mom. 

“Erin’s busy right now. I’m watching you, remember?” Isa said. 

“Got bored.” Drew simply stated.

Isa winced. Ok, so maybe they hadn’t done the best job at keeping this kid happy and entertained, but honestly they did think that the dogs would keep him busy for longer. Come on, they’re dogs! But yeah, that’s their bad.

“Well, why don’t we go back and do some fun things then?” Isa said, just as a brilliant idea struck them. “You can help me bake cookies if you want?” Kids loved cookies.

Yep, they got his attention. Drew was now looking straight at them, his full attention on them.

“Wha’ kind o’ cookie?” He asked warily. 

“Any kind you like! I have a lot of recipes.” Isa said. Hopefully Drew liked the normal kinds of cookies and not, say, ghost pepper or tomato cookies . Both of those were actual cookies that Isa knew how to bake, but the ingredients were annoying to get and Isa didn’t have most of them on hand. 

“Double chocolate?” Drew asked.

Isa nodded. “We can make those for sure.”

Drew thought about their offer.

“Can I have juice too?” 

“Yes, you can have juice.” Isa responded. “I hope you like apple juice, because it’s the only kind I have.” They said after another second. Drew just nodded.

“‘Dats fine.” 

“Ok, great! Back we go, then!” Isa said. Drew hopped over to them and made the universal gesture of “Let me up.” Isa grinned as they picked him up and set him on their shoulders. 

“Lead the way, Drew!” Called Isa as they started walking back. Drew made sure to be a helpful guide and pointed in the directions he wanted Isa to take him. They got sidetracked a little, but they made it back in under 20 minutes.

A new record for catching a runaway Drew, Isa thought.

They got the juices for both of them and started pulling out the needed things for double chocolate chip cookies. 

“Ok now, Drew, you’re gonna sit on this stool and help pour the ingredients into the mixing bowl. We’ll start with the flour.” Isa said, taking Drew off their shoulders and placing him on the stool. Isa helped maneuver him so that he scooped out the right amount of flour and then left him to pour it while they searched for their chocolate chunks. He’d be fine.

He was not fine. Isa turned back around just in time to see Drew tipping the whole flour bag into the bowl. They couldn’t stop him before it all fell in, a cloud of flour exploding from the bowl. Isa coughed and tried to wave it out of their face. Their whole kitchen was covered in a fine white dust. Isa sighed. They really should have expected this. The next 15 minutes were spent cleaning up the flour and carefully putting back the pounds of flour that were still in the bowl. Isa did most of the work but Drew helped a little. They appreciated that.

“Why don’t I do the flour? You can measure chocolate chips and chunks instead.” Isa said to the kid with flour still caking his face. Drew brushed off the flour and nodded. He was actually quite good at pouring the chocolate. Besides a few chips snuck for himself, the task was completed quickly and without issue. From then on it was smooth sailing. Isa made sure to help Drew with the pouring and mixing so as to not have a repeat of the flour incident, while they cracked the eggs and poured in the melted butter. The two of them moulded the finished dough into balls and put them on the pan, ready for the oven. They even got to eat the extra dough, which was great. Isa was proud of how well everything came together. Probably one of their top 5 attempts at making this specific type of cookie.

While the cookies were baking and cooling, Isa got out some board games they had left over from when the Castrators would do board game nights. Drew crushed them in Candyland, something that they would never admit to anyone ever. It’s probably the demigod luck. It was still fun though, they got him back at Uno. 

Then time came when the cookies were finally ready to be eaten. Isa and Drew sat at one of the tables, enjoying the rich chocolate flavor and their second apple juices for that day. 

“This was a lot more hectic than I expected when I agreed to babysit you.” Isa admitted to Drew. “I forgot how much of a little gremlin you are, in a good way of course.”  Drew just watched them speak, continuing to eat his cookie. 

“But I still had fun! It was nice spending time with you. Reminds me of the good parts of the old days…” Isa trailed off, Drew just kept munching.

The ringing of the doorbell brought Isa back to the present.

It was Erin, worry lines clearly visible but a smile on her face when she sees Drew and Isa sitting together. Drew reached out for her and she scooped him into a hug.

“He wasn’t too much trouble?” Erin asked Isa. Isa shook their head

“No, he was an angel.” Isa giggled at their own unintentional pun. Erin rolled her eyes fondly before she reached down and snagged a cookie of her own. 

“Well, thanks again for watching him. I really appreciate it.” Erin said sincerely. “Here, I did promise to pay you.” Erin reached into her pocket and pulled out some diamonds. Isa took them gratefully. 16 diamonds, sweet!

“It was no issue! I had fun! He played with the dogs, we went for a walk, played board games, and baked some cookies as you can see. It was a good day.” Isa said truthfully. While, yes Drew is a little gremlin and a bit of a hassle sometimes, they did have fun today. They might even be open to doing it again.

Isa watched a visible weight be lifted from Erin’s shoulders. “That's really great, Isa. I’m glad you two had fun.” She said as she adjusted Drew in her arms. Isa smiled back at them. 

“Yeah, you two are welcome back anytime. Maybe next time you can join us, Erin?” Isa suggested. Erin looked taken aback. It has been a long time since Isa had invited Erin to bake with them, the last time had been back when the Castrators were still a thing. Isa could tell that Erin hadn’t ever expected Isa to trust them enough to have the offer extended to them ever again. Their returning smile was bright.

“I’d like that a lot.” They said truthfully. “Well, we’ll both get out of your hair, but next time we come over you know for sure I’ll be down to baking.”

“I’m holding you to that promise, Erin.” Isa said. It was nice to fall into comfortable familiarity with Erin. Feels like returning home, even if they never physically left. Erin nodded and turned to leave but not before snagging a few more cookies with a smirk as they went. Isa smiled before going back to their baking. They still had that smaller cake to decorate. The day is still young and Isa still has more to bake. Isa took a deep breath and smiled.

Today was shaping up to be a good day.

[gardenergulfie]

My friend @/yourcringybrother‘s opinions on balls smp characters but his only interaction with them is from my fanfic

Fluctra: “this is basically me when i was a teenager but add actual Danger bc she could probably kill me. the kind of teen who i’d see on the street and would accurately insult me on something i was insecure about. Probably doesnt pay taxes”

Taffie: “apparnetly he’s a wolf who does taxes and is kind of a little bitch. like if the main character of beastars was a politically insensitive prick but ppl were working on frog boiling him into respecting human rights”

Isa: “a vAmpire???? who runs a bakery and used to be an assassin and cares very much for their friends. i love them dearly and i want them to thrive i also want to know why apparently one of their wolves Should not be pet and if its ever come up that they Owns wolves and also Taffie exists. have they argued about this? i also think they’d kill me”

Emi: “OH KY FUCKING GOD hTe hate hate i am an Emi Anti apparently some sort of monochrome person with? void? eyes? and the father of this Drew child but does Not want to take any responsibility so Erin is out here workin their ass off as a single mother like damn. Apparnetly they like fucking up people’s days as her version of harmless fun and I despise. Despise. If she wasn’t so down with scaring people and having commitment issues i bet she’d be really fun to have at a birthday party”

Erin: “apparently not fluctra i thought they were the same person but they’re different. also a half. black bird something half demon which holy shit your parents. seems like theyre doing their best but probably make a lot of mistakes on a daily basis which, valid. they feel like the iconic 20 year old experience of oh jesus christ what the fuck am i doing what do you MEAN i have to do this what does that thing do jesus christ i need a fucking break. Yeah thats really all i think; they deserve a fuckin break.“

Drew: “possibly? demon child? half demon? demi god?? child??? can apparently wield a weapon VERY well and WILL USE IT. the vine of that kid where the parent asks “what do you have???” “a knife!!” “nO—“. Seems like he’s just Vibing which is really fair. I can’t really gauge how old he is but he’s a toddler-ish. maybe younger maybe older i get the feeling that being part GOD sort of fucks that up. he gets into trouble but i think thats just a toddler thing. i would fear him. 10/10″

[gardenergulfie]

Babysitting a Demigod Chapter 4

Rating: G

Word Count: 10495

Chapters: 4/4

Relationships: Fluctra & drewtunes, Other Relationship Tags to Be Added, drewtunes & Taffietv, drewtunes & Erin | ItsElectra, Erin | ItsElectra/Taffietv, its very minor but we are sticking with canon so its there, drewtunes & Colorsisabel, Erin | ItsElectra & Colorsisabel, Emiok & drewtunes

Characters: drewtunes, Fluctra, Other Character Tags to Be Added, TaffieTV, Erin | ItsElectra, Colorsisabel, Emiok Additional Tags: Canon Compliant, Fluff, No Plot/Plotless, Not RPF, Humor, POV Multiple, Alternate Universe - Balls SMP Setting

“Fine. I’ll watch Drew.” Emi floated down till she was eye level with Erin. “Just give me the kid and go have your Girls’ Day or whatever it is you have planned.” Erin visibly relaxed, giving Emi a grateful smile. “Thanks, Emi. I appreciate this.” They said as they walked into another room, presumably Drew’s.

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Fic below the cut

Emi knows firsthand how tough it is being God. No-one thinks being God would be anything but fun and games but Emi knows firsthand that it's not that simple. Like, Emi gets power and worship and all that jazz but people keep asking her for stuff all the time! Like, every second of every day someone, somewhere would decide to bother her in order to get something; normally some powerful item or a teleport or the resurrection of a loved one. It didn’t help that she couldn’t just not hear the mortals’ prayers, because the universe decided that they get inserted directly into Emi’s head. Fun. However, Emi was nothing if not good at ignoring people, even if they made it difficult. Thankfully, they usually gave up after some time of being ignored. But there are some mortals who Emi finds interesting enough to humor their requests.

Take Erin for example. An interesting mortal, caught up in strife and conflict wherever they go. An assassin unable to fully dampen their emotions, a leader unable to fully trust their crew. It was all so interesting. So, Emi watched and humored them. It always ended up being fun for her in the end.

Today was shaping up to be one of those fun days. Emi had just gotten a request from Erin to meet them in the Sanctuary. With a snap of her fingers, Emi was floating in front of Erin.

“Wow, you do not look so great.” Emi said as soon as she saw Erin. It was true. Erin looked exhausted. Wow, they had really gone downhill since the last time Emi checked up on them. Is this what parenthood does to a mortal? Right now, Emi was very glad she didn’t have any kids.

“You think?” Erin hissed before massaging their forehead. “Sorry, it’s been a long week. I need something from you.”

“You gotta tell me what you need first. Different items cost different prices.” Emi leaned back in the air as she crossed her legs and got comfortable.

“I don’t need an item. I need you to watch Drew.” Erin states.

Wait, what? Watch Drew? The kid?

“Hold up. I’m not a babysitter, I’m God! I don’t do things like that.” Emi holds her hands in front of her. “You have mortals who can do that stuff for you, right?”

Erin shakes their head. “Everyone is either busy or untrustworthy and I am not handing Drew off to a stranger. I have enough enemies in the world, I am not giving them any ammunition against me.” They said bitterly. Ok, angsty much? Sheesh, mortals.

“Too bad. Not my problem.” Emi narrowed her eyes. Erin took a deep breath, preparing to say something they really didn’t want to say.

“I swear, Emi, he’s your kid too! You gave him to me, you can watch him for one day! I have been a single parent for so long and maybe I just want the father of my kid to be helpful for once.” Erin exclaimed in a bitter tone. Oh yeah, Drew was also Emi’s kid. Funny how that one fact came back to bite Emi right in the but. Also, yelling at God to her face was new for Erin. Normally they just cussed under their breath if they were really annoyed at Emi. This was interesting. Emi really did not want to be a babysitter, but she also didn’t want Erin to be upset with her. They were her favorite mortal!

“Fine. I’ll watch Drew.” Emi floated down till she was eye level with Erin. “Just give me the kid and go have your Girls’ Day or whatever it is you have planned.”

Erin visibly relaxed, giving Emi a grateful smile. “Thanks, Emi. I appreciate this.” They said as they walked into another room, presumably Drew’s.

“Yeah, yeah, whatever.” Emi muttered under her breath. She could be a father to the kid for one day. Kids were just smaller mortals and she dealt with those every day. Easy peasy.

Erin walked back in the room with Drew in her arms and Emi immediately regretted everything. Oh, God, baby mortals were terrifying. Stubby limbs, drooling mouth, and beady eyes that probably looked very similar to Emi’s own blank eyes. She now understood clearly why mortals yelped the first time they saw her. What was even going on inside that oversized head? This shit was scary!

Erin deposited the child into Emi’s arms and Emi cringed back, holding him as far away from her as possible.

Emi did not want to spend any amount of time with this gremlin. “Uh, Erin, I change my min-“

“Nope! You agreed and you are not going back on your word now. Watch Drew for one evening. It won’t be that hard.” Erin interrupted with the tone of a stern leader and single mother who had seen too much bullshit in their life. Before Emi could start talking again, maybe call upon an old favor to get out of this deal, Erin opened her wings and was gone out the skylight in a flash of feathers, leaving Emi alone with Drew.

Fuck this. Erin was gone. She could totally ditch this child and do other things. She didn’t have to listen to mortals, She was God! She had better things to do, like mess with those mortals who kept asking her for netherite. Netherite was so last update, didn’t they know that there were new ores to upgrade tools with?

Letting Drew fall out of her arms, Emi called upon her powers and teleported all the way to SpawnTown. Ah yes, freedom. Erin doesn’t need to know about this. As long as Emi gets back to Drew before Erin gets back, she’s free to do whatever she wants. Probably cause some destruction and desolation, honestly.

As Emi flicked through her options to see what would be the most fun to torment mortals with, a soft popping noise and a weight in her arms distracted her. Drew had apparently teleported straight into her grasp and looked at her with his unreadable baby face.

“Pop, pop!” He said happily, giving her a hug around her arm, but Emi was more focused on the very obvious use of godly magic he’d just used. It was quite powerful for a 2 year old godling. Teleporting was interesting, but what other magics did this baby have?

“Hey Drew. Random question, but can you do this?” Emi asked as she shifted Drew so that she could use her free hand to summon some sticks of TNT. Drew nodded and clapped his hands together, summoning the same amount of TNT into his arms.

Ok, maybe babysitting this kid wouldn’t be so bad after all. She could use this.

“How do you feel about destruction?” Emi asked her child. Drew’s cheerful babble was an answer enough for her. Wow, he really was her kid.

”Well then, let’s go do some destruction!”

——

Erin breathed in the salty air of the sea. Fuck yeah, this was more like it. The air currents were super nice at this time of day and there was nothing stopping Erin from just flying circles through the sky. She didn’t have to worry about keeping an eye on Drew or watching over her shoulder for enemies. Today was her day. Every parent needs some me-time once in a while. She got to bake with Isa, go shopping in Balls City, and now fly freely over the coast. She’d missed just being able to flap her wings and soar. Erin couldn’t believe that there was a time when she didn’t have them. They felt so ingrained in her identity.

Erin caught an updraft and let herself be carried up into the clouds. God, the view from here was fucking insane! You could see everything! Even though Erin was enjoying her alone time, she also wished Drew could see this. Hopefully soon she could start teaching him how to fly. She already had a spot picked out.

As Erin barreled through a thick cloud, she spotted some familiar shapes flying towards her— some of the blackbirds that spent time around her. They’d just started following her one day and never left. Noisy fucks who were a bit cursed most of the time but she loved them. They also had good ideas sometimes, which was a good reason to keep them around. They normally only really showed up when there were interesting things happening in the world and Erin’s day off wasn’t particularly interesting. Erin steeled herself to hear some awful news as she slowed her flight and leveled off.

“ERIN!” The first of the small flock yelled right into Erin’s ear as soon they got close. “CHAOS IN SPAWNTOWN. SONBOY DREW AND GOD TEAMUP ARC.”

“Emi and Drew are committing many crimes in Spawntown. What should we do?” The second one cried as they landed on Erin’s head.

“Fun chaos time hehehe! Come on, Streamer, let’s go watch!” cackled the third as they did flips in the air currents.

Erin processed all this information. Emi and Drew in Spawntown causing destruction. She honestly should have expected this when she left the two alone together. Of course those two would instigate each other.

Erin cursed under her breath as she retrieved her portable teleporter. Teleporting while flying was always weird but she did not have time to land if what the chattering birds were saying was true. She held the crystal to her chest, selecting Spawn as her teleport location. In a flash of light her and the birds were sucked through space and thrown out right in the center of spawn city.

The blackbirds did not lie, this was chaos. As Erin righted herself, she surveyed the land. Buildings on fire, but not burning down, explosions going off and knocking people around, half a dozen people floating in the sky. Yeah, this had the signs of a godly prank written all over it. Erin scanned the area, looking for signs of Emi or Drew. The only people she saw were those screaming, running or hiding in terror. Gritting her teeth, Erin stuck out a hand and stopped one of the people fleeing in panic. Fable, that was their name.

“Where’s Emi and Drew?” Erin bit out. Fable looked confused at the question but they pointed in the direction behind them. Erin let them go and leapt into the air, catching the updrafts of the fires below and gliding towards where she hoped Emi and Drew were. Her blackbirds followed close behind her, providing extra sets of eyes for the hunt.

Erin realized as she flew that the first big building in the direction Fable had pointed was GMC Tower. Of fucking course Emi and Drew would set up there. A few flaps of her wings and Erin was standing on the roof of GMC tower, looking down into it. Sure enough, there were Emi and Drew sitting at the tables of the Korean BBQ and having a nice lunch as they watched the city burn.

Erin blinked. Wait, was that Fawnde and Eun tied up in a corner? Did Emi and Drew really capture two of the most wanted criminals during their father-song hangout? What even was Erin’s life right now? It's fine. She’s fine. The whole thing’s not super important right now. What matters is getting inside and giving Emi a very stern talking to.

Investigating the roof, Erin didn’t see any ways in from up here. Dammit. She’ll have to go through the ground floor. Or maybe..

Erin stomped on the glass, making a ringing noise that she hoped Emi would notice. Seeing as the god looked up and waved cheekily, it seemed she had.

“Let me inside!” Erin yelled. For a second she wasn’t sure if Emi had heard but then she blinked and she was sitting at the table across from Emi. Drew was sitting next to his father, grabbing rice and seasoned beef from Emi’s plate and shoving fistfuls of it into his face. Erin shook off the leftover nausea from a quick teleport and focused on the smug deity in front of her.

“Emi, you are banned from babysitting forever.” Erin said the first thing that came to mind. “Also, stop pranking Spawntown, you’re scaring the residents.”

Emi looked thoughtful as she twirled her fork in her hand.

“Ok, sure, but me and Drew were having so much fun! It’s surprising how much we have in common. Isn't that right, Drew?” Emi spoke in monotone, but Erin could hear the smugness in her voice. Drew looked up at her and smiled a messy grin, giving a short nod. The traitor. Well, it seems that Drew wasn’t on her side. Erin had left their last conversation with the upper hand and Emi was trying to knock Erin off-balance. Well two could play at that game. Erin put on her most cheerful smile.

“That's wonderful! I’m sure you would love spending time with him more often. Maybe we could establish joint custody?” Erin put her elbows on the table and rested her chin on her hand. The blackbirds chirped with laughter at Emi’s expression of horror. Her monochromatic face went even paler at the thought.

“Nah, I’ll leave the parenting to you. This was fun, but I don’t need a little godling in my life permanently.” She said. Classic Emi, changing her mind as it pleased her. Gods were fickle after all.

“That's good then. Well, if you and Drew are done with your destructive day, I think I’ll take him off your hands. Maybe even go get ice cream.” Erin watched with internal satisfaction as Drew perked up at the word ice cream. Toddlers, so easy to please. Drew slipped out of his chair and hopped up next to Erin. He grabbed her hand like normal and she let him, giving his hand a squeeze. Emi shrugged.

“Cool. Well, I’m off.” Emi said as she began to float away.

“But first you’re gonna restore the city, right?” Erin stressed. It was impossible to see in Emi’s void-like eyes, but Erin knew her well enough to tell that she was rolling her eyes.

“Fine, fine.” Emi snapped her fingers. “Happy?” Erin looked out the window. Everything looked normal, no fire or explosions. She could see people looking around, still scared and wondering why everything suddenly stopped. Erin looked back and noticed that Fawnde and Eun were no longer tied up. Damn it. Guess her life couldn’t just be that easy.

‘Very.” Erin said as she stood up from her seat. “Have a nice day.” She called as she and Drew walked over to the elevator, the blackbirds perched on Erin’s shoulders and giving Emi smug looks. Emi watched them go for a second before teleporting herself away. Erin knew that the deity wasn’t too upset at her. Emi wasn’t really like that, too free-spirited and changing to hold grudges. It was only a matter of time before Emi showed up again in Erin’s life, watching for something interesting.

In the meanwhile, Erin and Drew were going to get ice cream. Erin wouldn’t lie to her kid, not about ice cream. There was a good place in GMC if she was remembering right. The ban might still be in effect but that’s not something a few invisibility potions couldn’t solve.

“Did you have fun with Emi?” Erin asked Drew as the two of them made their way down the path towards GMC. Drew walked in silence like he always did when he was deciding what to say.

“Was fun. Miss’d you.” He said simply. Erin’s heart clenched with emotions too complicated for her to unravel. Still, she knew that a large part of it was love.

“Missed you too, buddy. Everything was so quiet without you.” Erin said as she gave Drew’s hand a squeeze again. It was true. The time she spent without Drew was much quieter. Erin reveled in the silence, resting and rejuvenating alone, but she still missed her kid when he wasn’t there. She didn’t know what she was going to do when he grew up and left the nest. Oh, fuck, that thought was not something she wanted to travel down right now. Focus on the present.

Drew’s answering smile was quiet and shy like he was, but also as bright as a thousand suns. Erin swelled with pride. Her wonderful, beautiful kid. God, he was just the best. Erin scooped up Drew and he settled down in her arms. One of the blackbirds dropped down and landed on Erin’s arm so that Drew could pet them

“Walking is talking too long. Let’s fly. I’ll show you how pretty and small everything looks from up there.” Erin said, opening her wings behind her as she prepared to lift off. Drew’s answering squeal of happiness was all the confirmation Erin needed to shoot off into the clouds. The two of them, five if you counted the three birds circling around, admired the landscape of buildings and trees below. As they got closer to GMC, Erin inhaled the ocean air deeply, causing Drew to mimic her and scrunch up his face at the salty smell. Erin laughed at his expression. Everything was perfect.

Far behind the mother-child duo, a god floats above the world. She had fun today, even if she had to spend time with her spawn. It was good in the end, and now she could rela— Damn it, another prayer from a mortal. Emi sighed. A god’s work is never done. Well, she’d see what that person wants. Maybe if she’s lucky she’ll be able to twist their phrasing against them. That was always fun to do.

[gardenergulfie]

c!electra from the balls smp for the headcanon ask ^__^

YOU ARE SPEAKING MY LANGUAGE TY FOR LETTING ME TALK ABOUT HER Realistic: Erin takes Drew out for flights to help him get used to heights after that whole incident with the floating plant. They go out at night to not be spotted and soar over the ocean

Not realistic but hillarious: Erin taught Drew to fight as soon as she could. Imagine a 2 year old threatening you with a knife? Amazing. Heartcrushing: During the months that Erin spent alone in the Sanctuary she spent her time learning new hobbies and raising Drew. Even still, at least once a week she'd sneak out and go check up on Isa and the Bakery. She would never reveal herself but just kept an eye on them. Unrealistic but fuck canon: Erin's a dragon no i will not elaborate she just is. She can breathe fire because i think she should

[gardenergulfie]

feeling a lot of balls smp nostalgia in the club tonight. c!drew for the ask game?

All of ballsblr reviving themselves for this ask game i love it Realistic: He's got like one of those catholic halos around him. Like the ones you see on murals and stuff. Funny: He's got his father's powers so when he doesn't like someone he just yeets them into the air Heartbreaking: There's a very high chance that Erin will die of unnatural causes because of her risky lifestyle and Drew will have to grow up alone. Fuck Canon: In contrast to that last hc Drew just makes Erin immortal as soon as he figures out he can. No parents dying on his watch