#drew this while stressed out from projects lmao

[cinthgarden]

and what if something goes wrong during a mission? (au)

[triptuckers]

on the bottom of the lake - percy jackson

Request: yes! "I love ur writing!! could you write something w Percy helping anxious reader?? I’ve been super stressed lately and idk this show is keeping me sane lmao" Pairing:  Percy Jackson x reader Summary:  you've been stressed and percy knows the perfect way to help you relax Warnings:  reader being stressed, some swearing, anxiety Word count:  917 A/N: I drew so many pjo characters yesterday I cant wait to share them when I'm done with them :) thanks for your request, enjoy!

you don't know if you've ever felt like this. sure, you'd been stressed before. but now you're losing sleep over it. and not a few hours, just nights without zero sleep at all.

you've got a big project you need to do for school over the summer. if you call, it'll be your last strike and you'd be expelled. like it was your fault you had trouble reading and concentrating.

when you arrived at camp half-blood at the start of summer, you thought some of your worries would go away.

the opposite happened.

you saw everyone around you having a good time. they didn't have to worry about some project. they slept peacefully from night til morning.

even if you can't work on your project, you're constantly thinking about it. your mind never rests.

percy noticed you've been stressed and tries to talk to you about it, but you always shut him down. it's enough to think about it all the time, let alone talk about it.

after a couple of days, percy tries again. he really wants to help you, but he don't know why.

'hey, y/n?' says percy.

'what's up?' you say, looking up at him. you're supposed to help your cabin prepare for tonight's bonfire, but so far you're not helping much.

'about your project-'

'gods, will you leave it alone, percy!' you burst out. 'I think about that fucking project all day don't you start about it as well!'

percy takes a step back and you realise it's because of you.

'I'm sorry! sorry!' you say, getting up and grabbing one of his hands. 'I'm so sorry I didn't mean it.'

you feel tears slowly starting to fall.

'hey, it's okay.' says percy softly. he reaches up and brushes a tear from your cheek. 'want to go to the lake for a while?'

you nod. percy leads you to the lake. you close your eyes and let the breeze calm you down. but still the project is on your mind. if you go to your cabin now, you could get some work done.

percy tugs on your hand and you open your eyes to look at him.

'get in.' he says, nodding his head toward the lake.

'now?'

percy nods.

'percy, I don't want to go swimming right now.'

'do you trust me?'

'of course.'

'then get in.'

you sigh. what did you have to lose? maybe a swim would be nice.

'let me get my bathing suit.' you say.

'nope.' says percy, pulling you by your hand as he jumps in the lake. before you can stop him, you're pulled forward by his momentum. seconds later, the water surrounds you.

you want to yell at him for getting your clothes soaked, but you remember you're under water. once you get your bearings, you open your eyes, letting them get accustomed to the water.

you try to swim to the surface, but percy still holds on to your hand and pulls you further down, all the way to the bottom of the lake.

good for him, he's a poseidon kid. you aren't. you can't breathe underwater. surely percy knows that right?

he lets go of you hands and swims to the bottom of the lake.

you're going to have to go up for air soon.

you can see percy sitting down on the ocean floor, gesturing at you to join him. you squint your eyes. it looks like the water is less murky down there.

you let yourself sink down to percy's level. the water is less murky here because there is no water here.

'I didn't know you could do this.' you say, looking around the air bubble you're in.

'pretty cool, right?' says percy, smiling proudly.

'why are we here?'

'I mostly come here when I need to be alone. if you sit here in silence for a while, the fish will come up to you. and I always thought the waves are soothing to look at from down here.'

you look up and watch the waves for a while. sunlight pours through the water, giving it a soft glow.

you move closer to percy and rest your head on his shoulder.

the two of you sit there for a while. and percy was right. after some time, fish start to swim around your bubble.

percy tells you about the lake and the animals and after a while even two water nymphs come to say hello. percy knows them and introduces you to them.

you sit there for so long you lose track of time. it's getting late, so you decide to swim up to the surface.

normally you would have been soaked, but thanks to percy you're warm and dry.

you stifle a yawn as percy takes your hand in his and starts walking towards the cabins.

'thank you, that was nice.' you say.

'one of the bonuses of dating a poseidon kid.' says percy, lightly squeezing your hand.

he notices you hadn't talked about your project at all when you were in the lake. and you look genuinely tired. he hopes you can get at least one good nights sleep tonight.

'want to stay at my cabin tonight?' he says.

you smile and nod. 'yeah I'd like that.'

the two of you head to percy's cabin to get some sleep. and percy had been right, you got a good night of uninterrupted sleep. you dreamt of nothing but the comfort of the lake, and percy's presence next to you.

A/N:If you want to request something, make sure to read my house rulesHere’s the list of characters I write for. Everything that I have written can be found on my masterlist. Please don’t repost my work, as I spend much time and effort on it!! Thank you for reading! Much love, Marit

[end0parasitic]

What are your headcanons for, let’s say…. Cynte, Pravi, Karis, and Luce? (U can add more characters or not answer for one/some of them if you’d like)

Just general headcanons bc i can’t think of specific kinds lmao

i am honestly bad at headcanons lol, most of them r solely visual. but! i definitely have some for all of these characters (and a bonus one!)

cynte: first of all insomniac, that’s a headcanon a lot of people seem to share. i feel like it flared up after karis left him, following a period of almost constant sleep and being withdrawn. i once saw a headcanon of him having heterochromia, and i think that it has potential. also, i like to think that he has a few cybernetic modifications, maybe as a religious thing like eve (the protagonist of wrought flesh). oh, also a strict upbringing! if not at least a very stressful one. i do not think that he was pressured to succeed, but i do think that he desperately wanted to escape something and already grew up in a very religious environment that prioritized success through intelligence and hard work.

praví: my boy has a very small role in game, so i think he’s mostly headcanon for me lol. i had a few back in the day, like he had a major sweet tooth. knit sweaters was also one (still like this one). one specific to me i think was that he used to take q-melanin (thing in wrought flesh that the villagers take cuz it allows them to photosynthesize) when he was child and used to live on a majorly desert planet as a poor colonist. also i like the idea that he’s very technically smart but can’t solve puzzles (projecting lol), while cynte can do both if a little forgetful of some advanced things and protocol. i like the idea of him not having a god/goddess he’s devoted to.

luce: first of all, surrounded by butterfly imagery since this post lives in my head rent free. i drew this luce on a whim and this is honestly how i see her in my head, this might be my fav design of her i’ve ever done even though it’s pretty simple. i like to think that in her childhood, she was seen as kind of a bad omen by the people around her, if a very kind one. like a lot of bad stuff happened around her, and she seemed to be at the center of it, but she really was just a kind person trying her best. the isolation and constant suspicion and harshness got to her and it all culminated in the parasites taking notice of her. doomed by the narrative vibes. also, i think she’s very familiar with tools from computers to scalpels to guns.

karis: oh this man has been hurt before. i wouldn’t be surprised if he had a long term relationship with someone a lot more wild and magnetic than he was and then got his heart ripped out by them, and then moved on to cynte, and then left him too. i get the vibe that he was born on a very carefree planet, a metropolis with a good government, and the people were generally very wild and hedonistic, but he never was. only drinks socially, never smokes. he was definitely a lot kinder to luce than praví and cynte were, maybe they were friends. i think of him as not only smart enough to be a scientist, but also smart enough to know how to talk his way into things, whereas cynte gets by on sheer devotion.

eve (my nickname for the protagonist of wrought flesh): i think her cult generally goes by burn bright and fast, meaning they tank all of the damage they get and die young and gloriously, and that’s what she’s primed to do. i like to think she’s very accomplished and already kind of ascended to hero status, but not truly godlike. she’s looking for something that has been watching her like the way you watch a bug crawl too close and move to shove it away. she’s like an ideal warrior cultist.

in conclusion: i’m normal abt them. trust me bro.

[ragsy]

stillness! for mandog, change for all of them since theres not that many?:3 I love seeing character evolutions

stillness: How does your OC act while still? Are they fidgety? Do they have any common gestures or tics? Does their clothing affect how they hold themselves while at rest?

Mark is SO nervous and SO fidgety-- Drumming his fingers, adjusting his glasses, hands in and out of his pockets. Often, he'll have his arms crossed and head lowered, like he's trying to blend into the wall. Shame he's a dog man and not a chameleon man, tbh. He's just generally a person who looks and acts like he's extremely uncomfortable in his own skin!

change: Has your OC ever drastically changed their appearance? Significant haircuts, big tattoos, complete wardrobe swap, etc? Why? How do they feel about the change?

Mark: A FEW TIMES, YEAH LMAO

I actually drew something similar to this earlier this month:

He spent several years extremely depressed while working at a watchtower in the middle of the woods while ALSO unknowingly possessed by an evil dog spirit that would transform him into a rampaging quasi-werewolf state (the horrors part 1) but he cut his hair about a year before the horrors part 2 when he met his gf Emily. In the horrors part 2, he learned about the evil dog spirit, had his soul fused with aforementioned spirit, and is now partially transformed at all times (the man to dog ratio depends on how stressed out he is at the time)

Emily: Emily has been settled into her current style for years now, but as a kid she experimented with her look a LOT. She would go to school one day dressed in pink hearts and sparkles, and the next day in full Renaissance faire garb. And because it's been forever since I've drawn her, this is what she looks like:

Currently she's been mostly gravitating towards practical comfy clothes (but still in bright friendly colors) due to the nature of the monster hunting project management business.

Sloane/Agent Hill: She's never really had a lot of resources or autonomy to change up her look on purpose-- going from a scrappy street kid to an indentured servitude to what is essentially the SCP foundation has left her without much avenue for self expression. She channels that by means of her snarky personality instead. She's acquired a fair number of nasty scars throughout the years though, which she carries with pride.

Fishwoman: She's perfect just the way she is :)

also she doesn't remember looking any different anyways, so what does she care

Arji: Quite a few wardrobe changes, actually! Comes with the territory of being my dnd character of going on seven years. Most recently, he went from this:

To this. Which is to say he got a different coat and that's it

Sir Dillion: I dunno! I haven't exactly settled in an exact design for him yet anyway. But, he did just buy some plate armor in game, so I should design him SOMETHING...

[stansupremacy]

SURPRISE — CHRIS EVANS X READER ONE SHOT FLUFF

[NOTE] English is not my first language, sorry for the mistakes. Very excited to share this story with you, I originally posted it on wattpad, but it was really frustrating to note that it didn't seem to attract attention. Let's not focus on that, but on the now, new beginnings in Tumbrl (I still don't know how works lmao)

[COPYRIGHT] All rights reserved, copying or adaptation of the novel without prior notice to the author is PROHIBITED.

Traveling the world with a six-month-old was not an easy job, but you took the risk.

Chris was turning 40, you flatly refused to spend that special day away from him.

They were both actors, so their schedules were always very tight. Unfortunately, the idea of ​​the surprise party with the whole family in Boston had been completely scrapped because Chris was filming in France for his next project and you were in Canada giving a press conference promoting your new movie.

The chances of celebrating her birthday together had been reduced to zero, worse you being the stubborn woman you are, you did not give your arm to twist. So after several fights with your representative and several scolding from your personal assistant for having disorganized your entire schedule. You had managed to escape for seven days, so that you and your daughter could surprise her father on her birthday.

You knew there was no better gift than to take Luna to her father, it had been a few long weeks since they last saw each other. Separating from his daughter was something that destroyed Chris, it had been a very difficult decision, but being a sensitive one. Luna had to be with you, she was breastfeeding, she couldn't be away from you for long.

After two plans, more than 16 hours of travel and a lot of stress, they had reached their destination. Paris Charles de Gaulle airport. The first part of the plan was complete, without wasting time, you settled Luna in her baby carrier on your chest, she cried in protest, she wanted to keep looking around her.

"I know, I know honey ... But you have to understand, mommy can't carry you in her arms, she has to carry the luggage" you murmured kissing her little head. You took the two suitcases and without wasting time you left the airport.

Luna had started to fidget, you understood her. The journey had been long, the two of them urgently needed rest. "Honey ... It was a short time, we just have to wait for Uncle Scott to come pick up us and we can go to sleep, preferably in Daddy's arms."

You took the phone from your backpack unlocking it to enter the chat with Scott, you sent the location and put it back in your pocket, without holding on any longer, you took off your chinstrap, a sigh of satisfaction left your lips when you felt the fresh air on your expensive. You removed little Evans from the carrier baby when you noticed that she kept complaining. Her small and expressive blue eyes looked around curiously.

"Do you need a ride?" A car pulled up on the street in front of you, the driver's window opened revealing Scott's face.

"Finally!" You exclaimed, he laugh getting out of the car, his arms wrapped around you affectively I returned the gesture for a few seconds.

Luna stretched her arms as she recognized her uncle waiting to be carried. Scott did not doubt it, and took her in his arms as he helped you store your bags in the trunk of the car.

You opened the back door, to throw your backpack there before entering and stretch your arms towards your daughter, who hesitating for a few seconds, accepted the change of arms.

"Sorry for the delay, your boyfriend is a pain in my ass. He asked me a thousand questions trying to figure out where I was going" Scott commented making sure the door is closed, he walked around the car and got back on as pilot, beginning to lead. "Tired?

"You have no idea" you sigh closing your eyes, a small smile adorns your lips knowing that they had achieved it, they would see Chris. "I swear that this is the only time that I cross half the world alone with a baby, next time I will bring someone to help me."

"Well, they are here, that's the important thing"

"Yeah, you're right." You answered, you look Luna who was beginning to close her eyes, it seemed that the dream was beginning to overcome her, you rock her lightly by kissing her plump cheek

[...]

Luna played entertainingly with the TV remote while you circled the hotel room, eager to see Chris.

You had to turn off your phone because he had not stopped calling and sending messages, your last message to him had been minutes before boarding, telling him that you were going to take a nap. More than 20 hours have already passed, so it was normal for him to worry, but you had decided not to answer him, it was not in your plans to ruin the surprise.

The clock said twelve o'clock at night, officially it was Chris's birthday, who should arrive at any moment.

Half an hour later, a message from Scott warning that he has already arrived at the hotel was what got you going. The suitcases were in Scott's room because if Chris came to see them he would instantly notice that they were there, you took your girl out of bed and ran to the bathroom but not before turning off all the lights.

Seconds after closing the door, the room door was heard opening. Chris's voice and Scott's laugh reached your ears.

"Don't laugh, idiot, this is serious. Y/N doesn't answer me, I think she's angry, but I don't know what I did." Scott made fun of his brother again, you smiled amused when you heard Chris's concern about the lack of messages. Luna, taking advantage of the fact that they were near the shower ledge, took a bottle of shampoo to drop it, making a great bang.

"Luna, you give away our position! You whispered indignantly, mini Evans babbling in amusement.

The door slammed open revealing a surprised Chris. Scott came in behind him, recording the reunion.

"Surprise!" You exclaimed, Luna shouted excitedly when she recognized her father. Chris wasting no time, drew them into a hug. "Luna and I decided that Daddy couldn't spend his 40th birthday away from us, right sweetheart?" The baby smiled stretching her hands to touch her father's face.

"Oh my girls, I missed you so much" Chris sighed still without letting go of the hug, he placed a kiss on Luna's forehead before turning her face and kissing you tenderly on the lips.

"Happy birthday darling, we love you very much, I hope you liked the surprise"

"I couldn't ask for a better thing" he smiled kissing your lips again.

"Don't say that, I have others that I'm sure you will love" you whispered with a mischievous glint in your eyes, Chris smirked. "We must put on day".

"For the love of God, you two are disgusting, talk about sex in front of the baby? Gross" Scott exclaimed in disgust.

Chris chuckled coming out of the bathroom with Luna on his right arm while his left was on your waist. He couldn't think of a better birthday start.

[chasingpj]

𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐧𝐨 𝐝𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐥𝐨𝐫

pairing: leo valdez x child of iris!reader

requested?: yes!

translation: full of color

warnings: uhh, mentions of mental health and ?? maybe some typos lmao

category: headcanons, fluff, best friends to lovers

pre-relationship

though, leo saw you around camp often, you caught interest in him before he caught interest in you

i mean, he literally couldn't miss you because your outfits were always bright, whether it was a combination of colors or monochromatic

you and your siblings actually look like a rainbow threw up on you guys, and it's honestly iconic

no one at camp can not notice the children of iris, especially when they're in a herd

one day, you were sitting alone at a picnic table near the lake, and you found yourself drawing him in your sketchbook

you sketched a portrait of him while he spoke to piper at a table nearby

you've always found the floppy curls and how his brightest smiles always look a little manic to be adorable

when you sketched his portrait in your notebook, you didn’t intend for him ever to see it

until a couple of weeks later in the arts and crafts center, leo passed by and caught sight of a new project you were working on

he stopped in his tracks to compliment your drawing

since you were nowhere near done with it, you couldn’t admire the piece as much as he was

but his enthusiasm was so endearing

he politely asked if he could see more, and you didn’t hesitate to slide over your sketchbook

he noticed a lot of your drawings were scenery and people at camp; especially your siblings

he stumbled across a detailed sketch of a woman and her child sitting in a bus

“wow… who’s this?”

“oh, I don’t know. It was just a little girl I saw on the train with her mother.”

“so you just drew her?”

you never realized how weird your habit of drawing random people was until he had asked

you giggled nervously, quick to explain yourself, “I tend to draw people or things that I find beautiful. I wanted to capture how calm and happy she was with her child ‘cause at the time, I was stressed and angry. Watching and drawing her made me calm.”

leo nodded, a faint smile on his lips before looking back down at the drawing. “that’s really cool,” he complimented, and you shifted in your seat, suddenly shy.

And then it hit you

you were so willing to show leo all your works that you had completely forgotten that his portrait was in that book

your pulse thumped loud in your ears, mind racing to figure out a way to take away your sketchbook before he could see it

you ended up spending so long thinking of what to do that he arrived on the page in no time

right before he could see the drawing in its entirety, you slammed the book closed and snatched it

leo’s startled expression turned into a mischievous smirk

“was that me?”

you froze in your place; a squeaky sound escaped your throat in your embarrassment

leo’s brown eyes sparkled as he leaned into you, your gaze fixed on his, “y/n, you think I’m beautiful?”

AHHHH!

^^ that was you in your head btw

leo laughed, amused at your attempt to deny it

“then why did you snatch it away?” he raises an eyebrow before reaching over quickly to grab the sketchbook back

you didn't pull it out of his reach fast enough, leo getting a grip on one side

the two of you pull it back and forth, leo laughing at you as you continued to deny what he saw

though you were incredibly embarrassed, you couldn't contain the laughter bubbling in your chest

gods, of course, this would happen to me, you thought

he got it out of your grip, and you sighed in defeat, watching him flip to the page of him and piper

he was quiet, studying the picture for a second before giving you that playful smirk

“you think I’m beautiful?” he asked again

you playfully rolled your eyes, “it was more piper than you.”

your tone was sarcastic, only fueling leo’s banter with you

“oh really?” he chuckled to himself, “but i’m the only one colored in.”

you were silent at his observation before scoffing, “whatever.”

leo only laughed as you take the book away from him

“don’t you have somewhere to be, fire boy?” you asked and nudged his shoulder

the glint in your eyes made him smile, and he shrugged, “i guess i do. i'll see you around."

you nodded, too shy to do anything else, and he walked off

after that, leo took it upon himself to talk to you every day

leo teased you about the drawing all the time, and he found the way you would play along to be funny

before you both fell in love, you were close friends

you had such an optimistic point of view about life, and it was pretty contagious

somehow when leo was in the dumps about something, you always knew what to say

you were just so easy to talk to, and because of this, your friendship just grew naturally

your first kiss was towards the end of summer

leo invited you to hang out with him in bunker nine at, specifically, 6 pm

you teasingly asked if it was a date, and you remember the way he tensed up a bit

with a mumble, he asked, "what if it is?"

from the tone in his voice, you knew he wasn’t joking

in fact, his tone was hesitant, a part of him was expecting you to reject him

then the heavy pit in his stomach turned light when you smiled and said, "then I'm down."

the grin leo gave you made your heart flutter like crazy

your first date consisted of eating snacks and watching a movie on one of those portable DVD players

You picked up on the tension between you and him, and noticed the opportunities for a kiss kept passing

it was until Leo walked you to your cabin that night did you have a moment of boldness and asked, "so are you going to kiss me or?"

leo's eyes widen in surprise before his face broke out in the familiar smirk he gives when he flirts with you

you rolled your eyes playfully and grabbed the front of his shirt, pulling him into you

your first kiss was sweet and soft; a little awkward

his hands hovered over your sides for a second, not sure what to do with them until he decided to rest them on your waist

it was the perfect way to mark the beginning of your relationship

relationship

since you guys are both broke teenagers, you got creative with date nights

you came up with the idea of paint splattering with him

you guys got canvases, covered the walls and floors with plastic to make sure you didn't dirty them

then you filled water balloons with paint and just threw them

despite you guys singing and dancing around in the midst of it, the canvases came out so good

and to commemorate the beginning of your relationship, you hung them up side by side in bunker nine, and when you guys get a place together, you hang them up in the hallway of your apartment

leo is a huge gift giver; as i’ve said before in my “how he shows he loves you” headcanons

he’s made you a lot of things; canvases, jewelry, little trinkets with scrap metal

one of your favorite gifts from him is a suncatcher with rainbow quartz

you fell in love with it and when you move in together, you make sure to hang it up in the kitchen with the bunch of other suncatchers that he’s made you

i love the idea that you would attempt to bring more color in his wardrobe

a lot of his clothes are muted in color; you don’t mind it but you were interested to see what he’d look like in a colorful outfit like yours

To say the least, he was not that enthusiastic and maybe, you shouldn’t have put him in a monochromatic orange outfit but… you still thought he looked cute

leo thought he looked like a traffic cone though so it didn’t stick

it’s okay because you like him the way he is anyways

another thing is that you guys are super supportive of each other and leo loves just how you manage to lift his mood

once leo was having a bad mental health week

you guys were sitting under a tree, looking out at the water

his head laid on your shoulder and small sniffles came from the other

it hurt to see him like this and you wished you could do more to make him feel better

then you had the greatest idea to make a rainbow for him

so you did

leo was so stunned when he saw the rainbow form over the lake

he looked at you surprised and when you admitted to making the rainbow for him, the emotion on his face was indescribable

and then you laughed and held him when he started crying because he said it was the nicest thing anyone has ever done for him

another time, you insisted that meditation would be good for him

he literally sat down for like 3 minutes with his eyes closed before he was itching to get up and do something

even when he was sitting down, he was still bouncing his legs and fidgeting

so that fell through too but you still helped him in other ways and he’s so grateful for your optimism and bubbly personality

leo always says that you bring color to everything; literally and figuratively

one of the things you bring color to is his life

and he’s constantly reminding you of this; that his world just feels brighter now that you’re around

and it’s literal too

since you painted the walls of bunker nine a bright orange

he asked you why orange, and you told him because orange encourages productivity, creativity, and most importantly, optimism

it may have also reminded you of the orange outfit you put him into

anyways, you told him that it hurt you to see him get down in the dumps, and you insisted there was no way he could be sad in a bright orange room

needless to say, you were kinda right

masterlists taglist: @nct127bee @minamisulemisa @yanfeisluvr @cartocns @slytherclaw-kitten @idk-bye-no @percysbluehairbrush @Hermioneswifeee @quteez @drayshadow @ashookykooky @anything-forourmoony @loverstyless @yelenabel0vaswife @ohmydamgods @jordannfields @amy-writes-blog @muted-mayham @dreamerball @earthtokace @thehighladyofday @lala-llama123 @tootsdoll @slytherindaughterofposeidon0 @black-rose-29 @somekidnamedkai @possiblylostchasecousin @hamdehlesmis @cami05sworld @does-anyone-hear-me @sol-the-salmon

if your username is bolded that means i can’t tag you ! you probably have your visibility settings on!

[bigskydreaming]

This isn't a meme thing or anything but I was wondering if you had a top ten favorite characters from books? I actually end up getting a lot of good book recs from reading your blog so I was just curious lol.

LOL I wasn't going to do this ask because I was like ugh I suck at top ten lists because I can never pick just ten. But then I thought about it for like, five whole seconds and realized I DO have ten standout characters in answer to this so its like oh hey, learned something new about myself today! Lmao.

Anyway, in no particular order:

1) Anyanwu - from Wild Seed by Octavia Butler - Can not stress how like fucking...formative Anyanwu's character was for me as an abused kid who first read this when I was like 12. The book heavily deals with the back and forth across centuries between these two immortals, Anyanwu and Doro, as Doro basically tries to control her every which way he can, and Anyanwu just defies him at every turn, and it just....you love to see it. She's a bad-ass and I adore her.

2) Prince Corwin and Merle Corey/Merlin - from Chronicles of Amber by Roger Zelazny - Yes I'm cheating but its me so you should have seen that coming. Another fave series from when I was in middle school, its ten books in total, and the first five are in Corwin's POV and the second five are in the POV of his son Merle/Merlin. So I maintain it counts. And is fine. Shhh, let it go, Elsa said so. ANYWAY, I actually probably like Merle better than his dad, because I mean, lbr, Corwin is a total asshole. But he's MY asshole, y'know? Wait, that came out wrong. Don't quote me there. But you know what I mean. Merle is a lot more level-headed, and quick-witted I think, and I like his supporting cast of relatives who want to kill him and he sometimes want to kill more than his dad's supporting cast of relatives who want to kill him and he always wants to kill, but like. Both are Valid. Also shout out to Fiona and Rinaldo, with a side shout out to Flora, who are probably my next three favorites from the series. Dara would be up there too but she knows what she did.

3) Elric/Corum/Dorian/etc - from the Eternal Champion books by Michael Moorcock - Look I'm already cheating so why not continue on a theme. But basically this counts too, I'm just saying. See Michael Moorcock's big project going all the way back to the 60s was he created a fantasy multiverse of different dimensions where this one Eternal Champion, meant to balance the scales between the Lords of Law and the Lords of Chaos, like, is reborn over and over again in different incarnations but who are all essentially him. So Elric of Melnibone, Dorian Hawkmoon, Corum I can never remember his last name.....they're all essentially the same guy.....but they're all at the same time very very very different, and they have extremely different storylines. But I maintain if you're gonna read one you kinda gotta just read them all, all Pokemon like and such forth, because the real beauty of these books is seeing the familiar traces of the Eternal Champion threaded through each of these incarnations but also contrasting how different they are from each other and like, looking at what makes them so different each time and how much it stems from their environment and situations, etc.

4) Civet - from the Dragons of the Inland Sea series by Laurence Yep - This is a kids' series, like for ages 10-12 kinda, but easily my favorite from when I was a kid. I reread them so many times, and I love pretty much all the characters from Shimmer to Thorn to Monkey, but Civet was always a standout. She's essentially a tragic character and her ending is bittersweet, but like.....she fully knows who she is and what she's about and makes no apologies for that, and she ends on exactly the note she wants to. Like, her story and her characterization was pretty damn dark for such a young-aimed series, but that's part of what drew me to it, it managed to capture the tone it set out to convey but in a completely age-appropriate way, and in an era when most books aimed at kids dumbed down most of their story concepts and themes, this one was refreshing for just being....real. Despite being blatantly fantasy. Also the Boneless King is one of the best villains ever, despite being deliberately over the top a lot of the times....idk what it was about him, but he was just chilling.

5) Jack the Bodiless and Diamond Mask - from the Galactic Milieu series by Julian May - These are linked as well because they're a couple and their stories intertwine so much that there's no real point in separating them y'know? That's my story and I'm sticking to it. But anyway, they're a weird choice for me because Julian May is hit or miss for me overall....I HATE her Saga of the Pliocene Epic, which is technically in the same universe as her Galactic Milieu series, but they have totally different vibes and the latter series doesn't contain any of the elements from the Saga of the Pliocene that I loathe, so it just works. Plus it has Jack and Diamond Mask, and like.....I don't actually know why I love them so much? They're just so different from pretty much any other characters I've ever read. Like, May does a lot of really high concept stuff across the board, but Jack and Diamond Mask are like.....high concept character wise? If that makes sense? Its okay if it doesn't. I'm literally just spitting words out here. Honestly, its hard to say anything specific about them because so much of their characters conceptually just doesn't make sense without knowing the in-universe concepts that led to them even existing, but like. They're weird and off the wall but still astoundingly human for all that and I love them.

6) Naomi Nagata - from the Expanse books by James S. A. Corey - I mean, if you've seen me ramble all the Naomi love in my live-watches of The Expanse TV show, this should be no surprise, but my love for her in the books like, exists manifold. She's great in both, but the books cover so much more content-wise, that her character has so much more room to breathe and be explored in all kinds of directions the TV show never touches on. The funny thing is, I actually prefer the TV characterizations overall....I think the authors of the books are actually pretty shit at characterization a lot of the time, but the basic thread of Naomi's character is consistent and the sheer abundance of story material she has in the books like.....keeps me going back to them even just for her. Her conflict with Marco in the books in particular just has so much more depth than in the show....like, I don't hate the show's version at all, anyone who's seen my posts there knows that lol, and I'm not actually even sure which version I actually like more in terms of that particular storyline.....but I just love that both versions are so different, while still being recognizably the same, y'know? I don't even know. Nobody knows. Its a mystery. Just nod and say yes, shh, its fine.

7) Locke Lamora - from The Lies of Locke Lamora/The Gentleman Bastards series by Scott Lynch. This is an odd one for me, because in one sense Locke is a very contrived archetypal character from an author that doesn't always pull it off as successfully as I feel he thinks he does.....like, what I mean is Locke is inherently that type of character that is SUPPOSED to push buttons and straddle a line between likable and unlikable....and to be fair, that is VERY hard to pull off without at least some of the time falling on the wrong side of that line and alienating at least some readers. But there's something very genuine or sincere feeling about the character underneath all that, which is ironic for a character who is an acknowledged pathological liar and hardly ever tells the truth....like I said, its an odd one for me because I can't actually put my finger on what makes this particular character work for me when so many similar characters just bug the crap out of me.

8) Damien - from Black Sun Rising/The Coldfire trilogy by C. S. Friedman - This one is a whole fucking lie because I don't actually even like Damien that much lmao, but the thing is, I don't have a particular fondness for any of the characters in this series? But I gotta put it on the list anyway because I just love the world in this series so much, and its practically a character in and of itself. Like, so this was a science fantasy series set on a distant planet in the future but otherwise steeped in fantasy archetypes about spirit creatures that only Adepts could see, and like, Fae and life energy and sorcery that had roots in scientific principles but was otherworldly all the same. And that's like.....all literally my jam, and so I can't deny that this series was very formative for me even if its not the best example of those concepts. Its just the one I tend to go back to the most in my mind, like....the world and its characters are very standout and larger than life for me, even if they don't specifically APPEAL to me? They're impactful all the same. Its another odd one. I'm odd. You just kinda gotta roll with it. Its a thing. Its factual.

9) Yeine Darr - from The Hundred Thousand Kingdoms by N. K. Jemisin - This was a tough one because I love literally everything by Jemisin and all her characters are just so....ooof. They're very very real, even in the most fantastical of settings. I have mad characterization envy every time I read her stuff, but like. Its so good. So really the struggle was picking one character or even two, because I mean, The Fifth Season and its sequels are easily her best known works and have a ton of fantastic characters, and I think her Dreamblood duology is vastly overlooked but in the end I had to go with The Hundred Thousand Kingdoms even if just cuz of nostalgia. Its the first of her works and when I first started reading her and so its just.....anyway, if I was gonna go with that, it had to be Yeine, because she's so central to everything and also just....fantastic. Nahadoth and Sieh are also standout characters who get mentioned a lot in talk of this trilogy, and they're both such big personalities that at times they kinda overshadow Yeine, but Yeine has such a compelling.....undercurrent to her that she never actually gets lost in the shuffle even when surrounded by all these larger than life gods, and just. You love to see it. I do anyway. And its my list so nyah. But also if you're gonna read Jemisin, read everything Jemisin. It just makes sense, y'know? Good for the pores.

10) Cayal and Arkady - from The Immortal Prince/The Tide Lords by Jennifer Fallon - All the other Tide Lords can rot, but Cayal is hilarious in a depressing way. He's a ten thousand year old immortal whose greatest wish is just to die, which is how he meets Arkady who is a historian who just wants to like....know everything he knows once she realizes he actually is the figure of legend he professes to be and is so mad at him for not really giving a shit about all the weight of history he's been present for, but Cayal's just like, umm, I LIVED it so that's why I don't care, I'm allowed to not care, that shit hurt. Did you miss the part where one of the other Tide Lords threw a fucking meteor at me? And Arkady, distinctly unimpressed, is just like....I thought YOU did that, to Jasper. And Cayal's like, no that doesn't sound right. And Arkady's just like, you literally JUST told me that story. And Cayal's like, huh. I must have been lying. I do that sometimes. And Arkady's like, I thought you never lie, that's your whole thing? And Cayal's like, ahah, but what if THAT was a lie too? And Arkady's just like, bitch I hate you so goddamn much, how are you the worst of all the Immortals while still the only one who will actually talk to me and answer my questions. Cayal's like, we may never know.

Anyway, there's my list but like there's a lot more obviously because I'm me, I don't do moderation, its against my religion, but also I have to stop some time and the ask was for ten and those were the ten that popped into my head so they must be the right ones! Probably. Until I change my mind at least.

[angel-deux-writes]

I don’t think I’ve ever talked about this On Here, but I really want to tell the story of the guy who put in my kitchen floors because it was terrifying

im putting it under a cut bc it’s probably not that long, but who knows.

(scrolled back up after i actually wrote it to confirm that it is in fact long)

Some backstory is that I was INCREDIBLY lucky and got my condo very cheap in a neighborhood I already knew I loved. The other unit I’d looked at was a full 30k over my budget, but this one was perfect because the owner hadn’t updated ANYTHING since it was built in 1985, so it was just...awful. Awful rugs, awful floors, awful walls. My dad is like...the dad who loves a project, so he was all “I can fix all of this except the floors!!! it’ll be great!!”, so I bought it. We hired a local company to do the floors, not wanting to go to Home Depot or whatever (Which i still support in theory, just......not this company lmao). Everything except the kitchen and bathroom was originally carpet. Hallways, stairs, every single room. And it was cheap industrial carpet, too. Like the kind in office buildings. The dude who did the carpet was like “what the fuck were they thinking???” 

Also, one of the carpets had a truly upsetting rusty stain, so. My guest bedroom might be haunted. 

Anyway, the carpet guy was great. He was the owner of the company, and he was older and very kind. I had my mom come over with me when he was doing the carpets, but I didn’t even need her there. He was cool. His son was in charge of the hardwood portion (I say “hardwood”. I mean, like, the cheapest laminate while still looking nice lmao). He was less great. He had a team of like 3 dudes and 1 lady who would show up and work, doing my office/dining room and upstairs hallway. I know carpet is easier, but the carpet guy took one day, and these guys took a week and a half. They messed up a few times, and it was kind of stressful, but overall it was okay. They had to redo all the subfloors, because condos built in 1985 were almost universally built in buckwild, impossible-to-explain ways, so it took forever. The hardwood guys were loud as hell, but they were nice! 

At one point, one of the nicest guys accidentally broke a few of my kitchen tiles while putting in the transition from the wood to the tile. I was cool with it, tbh, but he offered a discount on a new kitchen floor because, shocker, the subfloor under the broken tile was really jacked up, and it wouldn’t be as simple as taking a tile from under the fridge and replacing it. I was like, okay, cool! We set it up. 

I did not hear from them for four months. Which, I get it. It was a discounted job, so obviously they wanted to do full-price jobs first. I have no problem with that. The same hardwood guys came back to do the subfloor, and then they were like “okay [the owner’s son] will contact you about the tiles. That took about a week. Finally, I got a date. It was a Friday, a day when my sister was already working from home, so she was like “yeah, I can handle it.” She works in interior design, so she’s used to dealing with construction people, and she was REALLY useful when it came to talking down the son of the owner, who was like...every bad stereotype about contractors meshed with a used car salesman. 

So I’m at work the day the tiling is supposed happen. My sister is fine at first, texting me about how the son showed up with one single guy, and then left, so it was only the single guy working. She was annoyed like “it’s supposed to take one day, right? That’s what they said? There’s no way he’s finishing at this pace. Why are they making this guy do the whole thing by himself?”. She called him “nice, kind of cute, but a very slow worker”. I was like ‘well, if they have to come back tomorrow, whatever, that’s fine’.”

Around 10:30 she starts texting me increasingly insane shit. 

“He’s talking to himself downstairs? Maybe he’s on the phone”. 

“He keeps dropping stuff and yelling SHIT really loudly.”

“Someone just showed up with a bag, and he let them in, and they chatted in the kitchen for like ten minutes, and then the person left, and they didn’t take the bag with them”. 

“He’s standing outside using the tile cutter and SCREAMING whenever it’s on.”

“He’s out in the rain and shout-singing something while he’s cutting tile”

“He is BARKING LIKE A DOG TO THE TUNE OF THE RUGRATS THEME SONG CAN YOU PLEASE COME HOME”

I’m half convinced she’s making this shit up, but she’s uncomfortable so I tell my boss what’s going on and race home. When I get there, there’s a vaguely adam driver looking guy who seems nice enough. A little startled to see me, but we make pleasant conversation, I see that he’s not very far along, and then I go upstairs to see my sister. I brought her takeout as a treat, and we sit there for a while talking about normal things. Gradually, downstairs, the dude starts talking to himself. I’m thinking that’s still not THAT weird. Then he starts singing and clapping along. Okay, a BIT weird, but not terrible. I decide to go downstairs into the living room and play some Playstation. Like, maybe he thinks we can’t hear him upstairs and he’ll be more chill when i’m down there? NOPE! HE ABSOLUTELY WILL NOT! He does the barking thing again (and it is, in fact, the rugrats theme song), he’s working at a pace of about one tile per hour, and he starts singing a song that consists only of the word “bitch” over and over again. 

I’m texting my dad, freaking out, and he tries to get in contact with the owner or his son, but nobody’s answering the phone. My other sister and her friend are on their way for game night. My sister’s boyfriend should be home soon from work, but not soon enough. It is, at this point, 7 pm. There is absolutely no chance he’s getting these tiles done today. He’s not even halfway done. My kitchen is VERY SMALL, by the way, so this reasonably could have been done in a day with two people, but I suspect that because it was a discount job, we got the discount treatment. 

My other sister and her friend show up, and the guy is perfectly pleasant and normal to them. We all go upstairs into my sister’s room, and we sit there, waiting in silence for it to start again, hoping that maybe with more people in the house, he’ll be okay. 

NOPE! He starts singing the “bitch” song again. I distinctly remember my other sister whispering “I love this song” and pretending to groove, which was kind of funny but NOT THE TIME. I’m sitting on my sister’s bed clutching a camp axe like a maniac, because I’m like “we are going to be killed by this giant kylo ren asshole”. I’m still texting my dad, who’s like “if you need me to come over, I can, i’m out of work”, but at this point it’s almost 8 and I’m also thinking about my neighbors. Like, he can’t be here at night. He just can’t. He’s so loud even just doing regular tile things! 

I muster up LITERALLY EVERY IOTA OF COURAGE THAT I HAVE, and I head downstairs. I ask him when he’s planning on wrapping up, because I know there’s no way he’s going to finish tonight. He tells me it’ll probably take about two more hours. That is 1) absolutely not true and 2) not something I’m willing to deal with because I live in a condo with neighbors on either side of me, and one of my neighbors is a truck driver who gets up at like 4 am! So I explain that my friends and I have an obligation to get to, and I would love it if we could arrange for someone to continue the work tomorrow. He’s SUPER NICE ABOUT IT and is like “oh, okay, no problem!” He leaves. Just...walks into the rain. Leaves all his tools and his tile cutter. I move it inside because it was on my front porch and it is, again, raining. 

My sister, a Nancy Drew Game fiend, starts searching the entire downstairs and eventually finds the plastic bag that someone brought him. My other sister, who is a nurse in a hospital that primarily treats overdose patients, is like “yep, that’s drug residue for sure”. I’m like, okay, so he didn’t hurt any of us, and he was nice, just....high and weird. But it’s over now, so whatever. My dad says he’ll call the owner’s son the next day, and everything’s cool. He also says that he, my mom, and my brother will all come over to watch the football game at my house the next day just to be there (which...im less than thrilled about the football part, but sure). I also beg my friend to drive up from the Cape to pick up his hat that he left at my condo over the summer just so he can chill for a few hours in the morning. 

The next day, the same guy returns, with the owner’s son this time. The owner’s son is like “why did you only get this far along?” but otherwise doesn’t really say anything. The barking guy is TOTALLY FINE, totally polite. My friend lingers as long as he can, but there’s an ice storm coming, so he peaces out eventually. I’m alone for about an hour with the guy, and nothing happens. He’s quiet, even when the owner’s son peaces for a bit. My parents show up, we watch the football game, and nothing happens. I feel like A LUNATIC, because my dad is like “he seems fine now” and I’m like NO BUT YESTERDAY WAS TERRIFYING. 

Anyway, so that’s the story. I didn’t end up saying anything to the owner’s son, but my dad reamed him out a bit for sending only one person to do a job meant for two. And now every time I drive by that business I suppress a shudder, and sometimes the barking version of the Rugrats theme song still gets stuck in my head.

[toxicxxmyth]

Dating Christopher Vélez headcanon

Authors Note: Don’t know if I rlly have to mention this but I called Chris a fuckboy in this like 20+ times so don’t be offended m8 and just like Richards, this is all over the place

Richard‘s headcanon

Christopher has mentioned many many MANY times that he is not looking for a relationship

My man is getting that good good PussAy ;))))))

And he ain’t looking for no commitment :(:

We stan a fuck boy ;)

So it probably took him like three encounters to notice you

The first time was at a house party and y’all talked for like five seconds and then went your separate ways

You remember him

He didn’t even remember your hair color lol

The second time was also at a party

You were looking for your car keys but you spotted the cute guy you talked to for like a second

So you asked if he’d seen your keys like a fkn dumbass

And he was like “nah m8 😔”

And you were like “aight 🤘😔”

And he thought you were hot so that’s a start

Then the third time was also another party

And then y’all saw each other again and made a convo this time

He for sure remember you this time cause he wasn’t as tipsy as before

Lol

So that’s how y’all met

But just like Richard

It took this boy a long time to actually get his shit together and be like

“I actually like this girl”

Ya feel?

But you already liked him

But you understood his position

You were actually grateful that he didn’t just agree to go out with you if he wasn’t certain about you

It saved you the heart break

But after many MANY months

He gave in, and he was grateful for your patience

Anywhore

Now to the headcanon of dating the Ecuadorian fuck boy who we love

There is never a day where you’re bored

He’s always got something planned for the day

Lazy days are superior tho

His laugh could cure your acne, sadness’s and anxiety

Thank God he laughs every damn day

HE WILL FOR SURE TEACH YOU HOW TO SKATEBOARD

And if you already know how to skateboard then y’all will ride together like actual goals

He goes all out when it comes to dates

Will take you to the most expensive restaurants in the area

For sure will buy you a fancy ass dress

I highly believe that out of all the members he’s the one who’ll spoil you the most

Like fuck

It’s a lot

When he’s away on tour he’ll have a bIG ASS bouquet of flowers sent to you or chocolate

Will surprise you jewelry, food, clothes aNYTHING

you’ll have to remind him that he doesn’t have to do any of that but he insists on doing them bc he loves spoiling you sm

Yet when you return the favor by buying him something small he’s all like

“:0 thIS IS TOO MUCH, AMOR”

and you’re like “???? Khe ???”

For sure will teach you Spanish if you don’t already

Staring by cuss words ofc :’)

Whenever y’all go to the club he always comes up to you like you’re a stranger or smth

“I'm new in town. Could you give me directions to your apartment?” ;)

“ChRisssss”

He’d try this the whole night making random guys come to your “rescue”

Chris is laughing his ass off while you calmly tell them that it’s just your bf

He doesn’t seem to be the jealous type

He’s v confident that u love him and only him

Which is true

It takes a lot in him to get jealous

But when he does

OOFFF

You better be scared

He never takes it out on you, just the guy who seemed to cross a boundary that Chris drew in his imagination

You’re the one who gets jealous easily for sure

SO MANY PRETTY FEMALES THROWING THEMSELVES ON HIM MAKES YOU SEE RED

But he always shows you that you’re the only one he wants if you know what I mean ;)

Honestly, y’all don’t even cook, just order a shit ton of food while watching movies or the both of you just work on your individual projects

If you ever get stressed over work or a project from uni hes always there

Softly rubbing your shoulder as he presses kisses soft kisses along the shell of your ear sending shiver down your spine as you relaax

It might lead to ;) or it could end in you cuddling until you get your mojo back

The sEX is bOmB bTw ;))))))))

Like, this dude is so into overstimulation and subspace that he’ll have you c*mmimg multiple times a night :):

Ooff

Edging is suCH a big turn on for this boy

Y’all fuck like rabbits no doubt

Public sEx is definitely HIS thing

Expect a quickie after each show in his dressing room when you visit him on tour ;)

Anything you do is such a turn on for him

You literally make him feel like a hormonal teenager again

I’m 92% sure this boy will cry one tour bc he misses you sm

Which leads you to surprising him on the other side of the world

Which he is super grateful for :’)

And then y’all have some bomb sex cause y’all a bunch of sex addicts m8

Whenever he feels down he just rests his head on your boobs and wrap his long arms around your body

You let him rant as much as he wants

And somehow you know whether or not he wants advice or just someone to listen

vice versa

Now imma be 100% honest

Don’t @ me

I feel like it’ll take such a long time for Chris’s mother to actually like you

He’s such a mommas boy that just seeing him with another woman might make her skeptical

Ooff I’m crossing dangerous grounds here

He’s siblings and grandmother automatically loved you, but his mother was distant

Christopher has to have a heartfelt conversation with her about it beCAUSE HE LOVES YOU SM AND HE NEEDS THE WOMAN OF HIS LIFE TO ACCEPT THAT

This lowkey makes you feel like an intruder

You feel as if you’re ruining their relationship

But you’ll also have a heartfelt convo with her and at the end of the day y’all would get along once she sees how much you love and care for her son

It probably took a year for y’all to move in together

But when you do, y’all have even more fun and adventures than before

Y’all goals asf

Most of his ig stories are about you

Videos, promoting your posts etc the whole package deal

Subtle matching tattoos

You say “I love you” first and he’s all blushy and giggle which makes you all bullishly and giggly as well :’)

And y’all just make love as he repeats the words and over and over :’)

He always has his hands around your shoulder

Pulling you closer at the most random times

HUGS EVERYWHERE MAN

Omfg this man smells like christmas heaven

Just like his mom, your family wasn’t certain about him first

And by your family i mean your dad(or male figure if you’re dadless :’)

Making him sad

But you’ll do your best to convince you dad that he is a good guy wHICH HE IS!!!!

After a while, he gave Chris a shot

And that’s all you ask for Tbfh

Will subtly mention you in interviews which would cause the guys to give each other knowing stares

Just Like Richard, you receive hate after hate

BUT YALL FICKING TOO HARD TO NOTICE!!

It sometimes gets to you but Chris is always there to comfort you

Making you go all uwu

He goes full mom mode whenever you get sick

Will google your symptoms

Lowkey has a mental breakdown when google tells him that you only have two weeks to live lol

He later calls his mom and she tells him what he should do

Will try to help you with your work but he just gives you a look and gives tf up

Soft hours late at night

You guys talk about your future and marriage and kids and it just lives you all soft and warm inside

Little did you know that he feels the exact same

You’d be in his arms slightly leaning against the headboard as your dress hands play with each other fingers talking about nothing and everything

Sings to you whenever you have trouble sleeping

THE GUYS LOVE YOU

Did I mention that? Lol

Just like any new friendship

Y’all were awkward at first but after a few minutes of getting to know each other they all loved you

Especially Erick, that boy is your child and you will protect him from any danger in the world lmao

That’s it my ppl :’)

Deuces once again :’)🤙🏼

[rawrroarart]

workout pic thought post:

so uhh I been awake for like 2 days so forgive my bluntness/negativity in this one (which u can already kinda see in the post itself lmao)

from a practice standpoint: I made this one mostly to keep practicing on bodies trying to make them more anatomically correct and that's one of the main reasons im choosing to show more skin than I am clothes. (That and im gay so) I do wish to get better at clothes though since my Goal is to be able to draw Diana (and other characters eventually maybe) in cute outfits, but for now I need to at least be able to draw bodies first lmao and also id like to get better at coloring

(gets more negative from here on and honestly just turns into a rant about my life my bad)

from a mental standpoint: the other day I had a legitimate mental breakdown because none of my projects were coming out correctly and everything I drew looked like shit so I had an existential crisis over my abilities of art and somehow convinced myself that maybe I didn't actually ever draw anything on my blog so I guess I also had a bit of an identity crisis and I deleted a lot of unfinished projects despite my habits of hoarding and contemplated deleting the rest of my software to never draw again but for some odd reason my girlfriend woke up during this fit and got me to calm down at least, but I kept hyperfixating on trying to draw and so didn’t sleep but I eventually did FINALLY take a break and when I came back I was pissed and drew this. It turned out really well I think (thank fucking god because I probably would have quit if it didn't) but im depressed as hell!! and I miss my fucking girlfriend!! I was supposed to go fucking see her for spring break because I haven't seen her in over half a year but then covid happened and yea yea boohoo “ur life isn't that hard” but let me be sad dammit anyway im stressed as fuck because of school and the fear of my chances of reaching my dreams never coming true so that art problem was NOT GOOD for my health and idk what im doing hahgAHSWADHASDADSA

Anyway (again) usually my “sketch dumps” have multiple of drawings and I really was gonna draw Akko to go with her but I got really afraid of that breakdown and so as the saying goes, stop while you’re ahead.

on a positive note: yay diana’s stomach

[heyauntieeee]

I don’t have anything specific but college Erik is my favorite Erik 🥰🥰🥰

Title: Study Buddy (Lame ass title I but I couldn’t come up withanything else lmao)

College!Erik X Black!Reader

Summary: Erik helps you study for your TEAS exam

Warnings: Language, Slight smut (my first time bear with me)

This would be my first time writing college!erik but I hope you enjoy it. This subject is currently relating to me because I’ve been studying for the entrance exam for nursing, so here it goes!

The both of you were currently onspring break, however, while your roommates went home, you decided to stay atcampus to study for the TEAS exam and your boyfriend Erik is staying with yousince he doesn’t have any family outside of you. Since this test was one of theonly things, besides your grades, that was standing between you and the nursingprogram, you made it very clear that there couldn’t be much fooling around asyou were taking the test in two weeks time.

The two of you were sitting on yourcouch in your campus apartment. Your books and notes litters on the coffeetable. There was a highlighter between your teeth and a pen between your indexand middle fingers. You were deeply engrossed in your notes focusing on thescience section in particular seeing as it was the most important section ofthe exam. 

You could feel Erik staring a holein the back of your neck, so you sit up and squint your eyes at him.

“I thought you were gonna help mestudy.”

“You tryna be in them books, I’m tryna be in them guts. It’s beena minute since I seen you baby girl, I miss you.” Erik proceeds to startkissing your neck and while you missed him too, God knows you did, you couldn’t be distracted at themoment. You shrug him off of you and mush his face trying to push him to theother side of the couch not caring about the fact that he was so fucking bulkyhe didn’t budge, he snorts at your effort.

“Daka you know this test isimportant,” You whine. “I can’t be fucking around I need at least an 85% onthis thing.”

He sighs, knowing you were rightand not willing to come between you and your education. He had faith that youwould pass considering you excelled in your prerequisite courses. You were everthe over achiever, willing to succeed by any means necessary. He could recallnot being able see or talk to you for days, when you were in high school andthroughout your time in college because you had to study for exams or completeprojects and papers. Hell, if it weren’t Spring Break this would undoubtedly beone of those times. Trust and believe he was the same way, but for the week hejust wanted to lay up under his girl.

“Aight, how about this, every timeyou get an answer right, I’ll kiss you wherever you want.” The proposition, ascorny and cliché as it was, piqued your interest. As fly as Erik was, he’s had his fair share of being a cornballsometimes.

“Is this to help me or to helpyou?” You ask.

“I’m helping the both of us getwhat we need, princess.” Surely you weren’t gonna pass up on his offer. Youthink why the hell not.

“Ard, quiz me.”

Excited, he grabs one of the studybooks and tells you that they’ll do science questions sincethat’s what you’ve been focusing on for that particular day, then flips the pages to the back of thebook where the practice questions were. He looks over the question beforeraising his head to meet my eyes. His gaze makes you squirm.

“First question: What crystallinesolid contains ionic bonds with the least covalent character?”

You scrunch yourface up. “So, you just gon come out the gate with the hard questions? Youknow I hate chemistry.” 

“Ion give a fuck, you answering thequestion. Tic toc lil nigga.” You kiss your teeth and think hard. Chemistry wasnever your strong suit. In all honesty you still don’t know how you managed topull a ‘B’. Must’ve been by the grace of God. Finally, you just give upand guess.

“I don’t know, Sodium?”

There was a pause for about fiveseconds before he lets out this obnoxious buzzing noise scaring the living shitout of you.

“DAMN NIGGA! Did you have to be sofucking loud?!”

“Did you have to be so wrong?”

“Don’t make me smack you Erik.”

“You ain’t slapping shit over here,I dare you.” You roll your eyes.

“Anyway, what’s the answer,” you ask impatiently.

“Lithiumfluoride. We coming back to that question.”

“Or we canskip chem all together,” you mutter.

“NOT ON MYWATCH!” He yells as he slams his hand down on the book startling you onceagain.

“Aight,Iyanla Vanzant wannabe next question!”

He flipsthrough some pages again saying more slick shit under his breath. Some thingsto the effect of ‘not letting his babyfuck up her grade cause she don’t know the difference between coefficients andcovalent bonds. She gon learn today.’ When you think about it, it’s reallysweet, but he can be so damn aggravating. He finally finds another question andreads.

“What eventoccurs simultaneously with the end of systole?” This one you definitely knew.

“The rightventricular pressure reaches a minimum value.” Erik grins.

“That’s whatI’m talkin bout baby! Where you want it?”

You thinkabout where you want to be kissed and remember he didn’t kiss you when he camethrough the door earlier, he only greeted you with a weak ass half hug becausehe was on the phone when he walked in, which he knows you hate but themotherfucker still does it anyway.

You thenpoint to your lips with a pout. “I never got my kiss when you came in, justsome lame ass hug.”

“My bad mama,I was handling business.”

“I know.” Andyou knew exactly what that business was.

Erik goingaway on his secret missions, coming home bruise, bloodied, and new additions ofscars to his body. Of course, you didn’t like seeing him that way and everytime you fussed over him and cleaned him up, he’d remind you that this was allpart of the plan that he was destined for something, greater and that our timewould come.

You’rebrought out of your thoughts by the feeling of Erik’s soft full lips on yours. Youinstantly start kissing him back, your hands grip his forearms, longing tobring him closer. He leans more toward you, his large frame towering over youas he deepens the kiss. You lean back further into the couch and allow him torest between your legs. He brings one of his hands to your next and it reststhere for a second, then you feel the slight pressure of Erik squeezing yourneck with just enough pressure that causes you to gasp, letting his tongueenter your mouth. The taste of him is unreal, even after all these years ofbeing with him, kissing him like this, he still tastes better than the firsttime you kissed him. You let his tongue dominate yours and roam around in yourmouth. You let a small moan leave your mouth and get an ‘mhm’ in reply. Thebass in his voice sends a shock down your spine and straight to your core. Youmoan again as you feel the wetness between your thighs.

The sound ofthe book falling to the floor caused you to break apart. Erik gives you one morepeck and pulls away, picking up the book and flipping back to the questions asif nothing happened. Meanwhile you’re a panting mess lying on the couch.

“Come on lilbit, we gotta finish.”

Not wantingto move, you pout. “But-” He quickly interrupts.

“Ion wannahear that whining shit, you said you wanted to study so that’s what we doing.Sit ya thick ass up and get to work.”

“Ok” you sayin a hushed tone as you reluctantly sat up.

“Aight nextquestion…”

After a answeringa series of questions, getting only a few wrong and being subjected to Erik’sloud ass buzzing noise and the ones you got right, well… let’s just stay you’reglad you won’t really have to step out of the house for the week. You bothagreed to avoid kissing the lips to avoid further distraction. So, you had himkiss you in simpler places, your forehead, cheeks, the back of your hands. Butwhen he got to your neck and torso, you would’ve thought Erik was a wild animalthe way he marked you up. Dark hickies littered your neck and torso. What wassupposed to be a light peck and nibble, turn into a ravishing of your body. Hewas now examining his work with pride.

“And when wego out, you ain’t covering them shits either.” You scoff and roll your eyes asyou examine yourself in the mirror with horror.

“N’Jadaka Ican’t leave the house looking like this!”

“You thinkthat I give a fuck? Cause I don’t. You mine and everybody gonna know it. Andwhen they fade Imma put more on you.”

“Everybody oncampus already knows that I’m yourstrust me. You ain’t marking up my body no more nigga.”

“We’ll seebout that shit.” You make your way toward the couch with a yawn, ready to bedone with this study session. Your brain was officially fried, and you justwanted to go to bed.

“Aightprincess last question. You get this one right and I’ll pick where I get tokiss you ok?”

“Ok,” You sayready and nervous for the next question.

“What hormonehas rapid effects that are similar to effects associated with the activation ofthe sympathetic nervous system?”

You almostdrew a blank. You had studied the endocrine system from top to bottom and itwas just on the tip of your tongue.

“Thyroidhormone?”

There was along pause and you almost disappointed that you got it wrong until…

“YEAH BABY!HELLYEAH! WHO GETTING IN THAT NURSING PROGRAM? YOU GOT THAT SHIT IN THE BAG”his shouting startled you but excited you all the same. Erik picks you up andspins you around showering your face with kisses making you giggle. He settlesyou down to your feet and looks you deep in your eyes. His dark eyes staringinto the very depth of your soul.

“You got thisshit Y/N. No matter how much you doubt or worry or stress you one of thesmartest people I know. You getting ya ass in that program and you gon killthat shit. And know, no matter what happens, I got you, for life. You hear me?”

You stare upat him with tear in your eyes. You never thought it could be possible to lovein even more than you did in this moment. Struggling to find the words to say,you say the only words you can form. “I love you baby.”

“I love you more.Now lemme give you your reward. Lay down on the couch.”

You excitedlylay back look at Erik in all his glory. All you can think is how could you havegotten so lucky. You watch as he removes his hoodie with the shirt underneathto reveal his muscular form and scar riddled chest. You lick your lips inanticipation.

“You gon letDaddy reward you?” his voice was low and husky; his eyes were filled with lust.You bite your lower lip and nod your head.

“I need wordsbaby.”

“Yes please.”

He settles himselfbetween my legs like before. He places his lips on your and you start to kissback. He sucks my bottom lip into his mouth, and you moan into his mouth. Erikreleases your lips and trails more kisses down your neck, and you moan somemore. Everything about him drove you insane. You sit up and remove your shirtand bra. Erik immediately start put the left breast in his mouth, twirling histongue around the nipple letting the bud harden. You arch your back as he gentlybites the nipple.

“Ah!” yougasp.

“You alrightbabygirl.” Erik asks blowing air on the wet mound, making your nipple hardeneven more.

“Yes.”

He gives you anotherkiss, repeats the actions on the other breast. He works his way down, nippingand licking your torso until he gets to the top of your shorts. You sit up on yourforearms and watch with anticipation. Erik looks up and peers at you intently.

“You ready?”

“I’m ready” yousay breathlessly.

He begins toslide your shorts off at an agonizingly slow pace and to his delight, you weren’twearing any underwear. He throws your shorts to the floor.

“Look at thatshit,” he hissed, dragging a finger along your glistening slit and you moan at thetouch. “You so fuckin wet, who all this for?”

It’s for yo-fuuuckkkk” You were cut off as her slid a finger inside your core. He leans forward,brining his lips to your ear.

“I didn’thear you, who you said it was for.” His voice was even deeper, and it was drivingyou crazy as he start to pump his finger inside you, brushing your spot withevery movement. You moan louder

“It’s for youDaddy!” That gains a growl from him.

“That’sfuckin right!” He inserts another finger and pumps faster, massaging your clitwith his thumb. You were panting at this point, gripping the back of the couchholding on for dear life.

“It feels sogood.” You cried.

“You bout tofeel even better.” He sits up, removes his fingers, brings them to his mouth andstarts to suck every drop of your juices, never taking his eyes off you. Youshudder. He pulls his fingers out with a pop and licks his lips.

“Damn yousweet.”

He lower himselfbetween your legs and began to kiss your inner thighs, nipping all the way downto your core. He smacks a loud kiss right on your clit.

“MWAH! Love thatpussy!”

“Stop playin,E.” you giggled.

“Ain’t nobodyplayin. I’m showing this pussy some love, putting respect on her name.”

“Are youfinished or are you done?” you decided to go alone with the Bird Man reference.

He growls andyanks you toward him throwing your legs over his shoulders and began devouringyour pussy.

“Shit!”

He sucked onyour clit hard, swirling his tongue around it repeatedly. Erik dragged his tongueup and down dipping it inside your core every time. He lifted his face and spaton my clit, beard wet and all.

“Goddamn,”you say. “You so fuckin sexy keep doing that shit.”

“My pleasure.”

“Nigga thisain’t Chic-fil-a, eat my pussy!”

“You gon shutthat smart shit up Y/N keep playin.”

“Keep eatinand I won’t have nothing to say.”

He muttersabout having something for your ass later then lowers his head once again. Hebrought his face to your wetness once more and sucked on the clit while movingtwo fingers inside of you at a fast past. You gripped his dreads in one hand ashe curls his fingers to hit your spot once again.

“Fuck yess!” youscream feeling so close, you were almost there.

“Cum for mebabygirl, gimme that shit.” His words were more than enough to bring you to theedge. Your back arched as you moaned loudly, you could feel your wallstightening around his fingers. Erik lapped up your release, a deep growl camefrom his throat.

“So fuckin sweet.I’d eat you all day everyday if I could.” He kisses his way up your body as youpanted in exhaustion finally reaching your lips. He kissed you deeply dippinghis tongue in your mouth. You moaned as you tasted yourself on his tongue. Hereleases you from his mouth and looks you in the eyes.

“You likeyour reward?” you smiled.

“Yes, thankyou study buddy.”

[thisiskindagross]

Honestly, is Satan and me over? It feels like it's going to take years for this story to be fully told now that it takes months for updates

((Short version, long version under the cut))Nope! Satan and Me will never be discontinued, I plan to finish the story to the fullest. Rest assured, even though I work full time now and have more IRL obligations like friends/family and bills, you will always have an update to look forward to! 

On average, about an update a month, but I try to keep them pretty long and colored nicely UuU

Thank you for your support and interest in the series!

No, Satan and Me is not over. I have no intention of stopping the project or discontinuing it.I plan to see the series through to the very end even if it takes me a few years.

I guess going into reading this comic, something has to be kinda understood that the updates are slower than previous years. From April 2014 to April 2017 I was usually unemployed or going to school, so I had a lot of free time to draw. And I drew a lot, like sometimes 8 hours every day for a while. So I updated the comic sometimes even 4 times a month.

Then last year I had surgery for my kidney tumor and had 5 trips to the ER following the surgery in April for multiple health reasons. My health made it harder to draw. I also became employed in an art job, so my wrist is very taxed atm. I only get weekends to work on “Satan and Me” and “Here it Comes”, and while I do tend to work on them every weekend, I also still have irl responsibilities, like errands and seeing my family/friends.

I know it sucks having to wait a month or so for an update, but I do try to make the updates longer, and I put a lot more time into the art/coloring in hopes of making up for it. If I could be employed to make “Satan and Me”, I would happily update every week or two weeks like before :)! But I’m 26 and I have bills and friends I can’t neglect anymore. For a long time my life was just art alone in my room. I don’t want to cut off my social life or experiences just being a nonstop artist either.

I feel for this. Believe me, I do. I’m always lowkey sad/stressed that I can’t update fast enough for the readers. But even if I wasn’t doing full time work for “Beneath the Ark” right now, I’d still have to do full time work for something else like retail, so I’d have the same amount of time to update as I currently do now.

I hate responsibilities, but I’ve got a lot of bills now :( Hopefully y’all can be understanding, but I’ll continue to try my best to put updates out as fast as I can without taxing myself. On average tho, it’s realistically gonna be like once every 3-6 weeks.

Thank y’all for being patient and understanding and supportive. Man, I would kill to live in a world where I could just draw all day, dudes, you don’t even know lmao

EDIT:

I just wanted to add this for a little perspective as well.  I just looked at the dates for the last couple updates. They came 3 weeks apart. There were 48 panels in 3 weeks drawn. Average an hour a panel. That’s almost 2 full time workweeks of free art outside of my 120 hour employed worktime. I definitely am not gonna ask to be paid for SaM updates cuz I love just giving it to you guys, but I just wanted to kinda give you an idea of how much art I do on a regular and see why I have to juggle it.

[archived--hell]

1, 2, 17, honestly all of them if you’re up to it

1 - already answered 

2. Do you have a personal favourite among your OCs?

L O R D T jupiter fuck man got damn id die for jupiter 

3. Have you ever adopted a character or gotten a character from someone else?

i have adopted characters before, but ive never done anything with them, and i have received characters Back from people but besides that nah

4. A character you rarely talk about?

HI PLEASE I BEG OF YOU ASK ABOUT THE GODS PLE AS E IM DYING

5. If you could make only one of your OCs popular/known, who would it be?

fuck uh.. honestly if its only semi popular would i do this bc being Well Known would be nice, yeah, but.. it scares me? idk but uh probably leo or aero, theyre two boys i hold close to my heart

6. Two OCs of yours that look alike despite not being related?

:) eldur and leo kinda? idk i try not to make any of them look alike rip

7. Are your OCs part of any story or stories?

YES! theyre actually all part of one universe called cooking with demons! i have a whole game planned out for the man cast kinda? but all in all its all set within one universe, with multiple different stories occurring within it jhfdksg

8 - already answered

9. Would you ever be willing to give any of your OCs to someone else?

unless specfifically made for them upon request, no. ive already tried that once and it lead to me losing any and all control i had over my characters. At this moment, i only “share” a few ocs with my boyfriend @coffee-burglar and even then, its taken almost a year to even be able to do that

10. Introduce an OC with a complicated design?

uh, all of them are kinda complicated for me, but as of right now, that would go to leos full form. (if u want a ref hmu and ill post it, but it wont be my art)

11. Is there any OC of yours you could describe as a “sunshine”?

like a ray of sunshine? yeah! angel and stitch would fit perfectly for that!

12. Name an OC that isn’t yours but who you like a lot

@coffee-burglar their oc chrome n koh,  or derek but thats bc im a hoe

13. Do you have any troublemaker OCs?

aero, jhor, innis, leo are all trouble makers to some degree, leo being the most trouble some

14. Introduce an OC with a tragic backstory

uhhhh fuck what counts as tragic?

i guess id have to say leo or jupiter mostly, but eldur fits too

15. Do you like to talk about your OCs with other people?

if youd let me i would yell about these fucks for hours on end, ive done it

16. Which one of your OCs would be the best at biology (school subject)?

the best but wouldnt enjoy it: Jupiterthe best and would absolutely enjoy it: colby

17. Any OC OTPs?

stitch/lavaaero/kohcolby/derek/inniswill/happiness aeyr/Eberictderek/Xhaztolleo/eldur

18. Any OC crackships?

jhfkdfsjghdfkjhgdkfjsgl i never talk abt it but will/aero is fucking A+

19. Introduce an OC that means a lot to you (and explain why)

ah,, leo. i originally made him to project the worst in myself onto, and because of that ive made his life a living shit hole. but,, recently ive been hell bent on giving him a good ending, one where he heals, and lives his life ok, where he finally, finally has a chance to be happy and get help. its,, kind of been a tiny growing point for me? he just, means a lot to me because of that haha

20. Do any of your OCs sing? If they sing, care to share more details (headcanon voice, what kind of songs they like etc)?

uhhh all of their voice claims are songs n such but only a few of them actually sing in canon! heres the voice claims of the ones who do sing:

Aero - thats his voice, but hed probably more likely to sing Something Like ThisAngelStitch - this is her voice! but shed be much more likely to sing something a lot more upbeat, kind of like thisColby (its jeremy from bmc jghfdkg)

and one i dont have a voice claim for yet that does sing canonically is Sycamore! 

21. Your most artistic OC

!!!! oh thatd easily be will! hes nothing professional at all, but he does enjoy drawing and making diy type projects :0c hazels also artistic but with food :0c but what would you expect from a kitchen witch

22. Is there any OC of yours people tend to mischaracterize? If yes, how?

Hi My Names Skinny Penis And No One Has Ever Even Looked At My Ocs For More Than Two Seconds

23. Introduce OC that has changed from your first idea concerning what the character would be like?

lordt all of them would fit that, but the one thats changed the most? lordy thatd probably be will! he used to be a persona that was mostly only interested in dying and getting fucked, but now hes? evolved into a fully fledged character, and has even changed from being human lmao

24. If you could meet one OC of yours, who would it be and why?

jupiter, simply because he is The Biggest Comfort i have. hes,,, really important to me and i love him a lot

25. The OC that resembles you the most (same hobby, height, shared like/dislike for something etc?)

:) its bold of you to assume they dont all resemble me in some way. the most though? damian. lazy motherfucker with 200 emotional issues and no motivation to fix any of them

26. Have you ever had to change your OC’s design or something else about them against your will?

…yeah.

27. Any OCs that were inspired by a certain song?

Nope, most tend to be born from ideas spawned by me n my bf concepting about my ocs, and what would happen if this thing happened? yknow?

28. Your most dangerous OC?

He has yet to be revealed >:)c his names icarus

29. Which one of your OCs would go investigate an abandoned house at night without telling anyone they’re going?

INNIS, GOD INNIS WOULD AND HED PROBABLY DIE

30. Which one of your OCs would most likely have a secret stuffed animal collection?

secret: damiannot so secret: colby

31. Pick one OC of yours and explain what their tumblr blog would be like (what they reblog, layout, anything really)

uHHhhHh 

damian would probably have a very shitty coded blog theme (or default) and would genuinely only reblog shitty, abstract memes, and nice food recipes for hazel to make him

32. Which one of your OCs would be the most suitable horror game protagonist and why?

protagonist? if youre going for the scared baby, colby. if ur going for the stoic “thats weird but ok” one, innis or aero.antagonist tho???? Leo and angelica :)

33. Your shyest OC?

uh, a oc thats genuinely shy and not just anxiety filled? angel :0c shes had a very limited interaction pool with anything thats not other angels so she tends to shy away from others bc she really, really doesnt want to get into awkward situations

34. Do you have any twin characters?

Jupiter and leo!

35. Any sibling characters?

Jupiter, leo, angelica, damian, eldur

jupiter, leo, damian, and angelica are all related via their dad, while eldur is related to damian via their mom

36. Do you have OC pairs where the other part belongs to someone else (siblings, lovers, friends etc)?

uhh if im understanding this question right yeah i do! derek, koh, n a lot of others belong to @coffee-burglar ! ive just roped them into my universe dkjfhkdjgh

37. Introduce an OC who is not quite human

Op All Of My Characters Are Inhuman

38. Which one of your OCs would be the best dancer?

surprisingly? aero! hes got really good rhythm and can actually dance really well, its kinda scary

39. Introduce any character you want

:)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) Ill let yall have a choice, pick one

1.) Lust2.) Greed

40. Any fond memories linked to your characters? Feel free to share!

fond?? uh,, not really. but damian does have a very important memory attached to him.

tw for suicide ment hjgkdfs

with damian, i created him after i tried to kill myself and was stuck in a mental hospital. i had just finished reaing the first shadowhunters book, and decided to try and draw the first demon(???? was that what he was?? im a dumbass and its been over 2 years) you met, which had bright blue hair and if i remember correctly, electric green eyes? but yeah. i made him to cope with all the mental stress i had while being forced to be in that hospital, and hes become very close to my heart because of that

41. Has anyone drawn fanart of your OCs? If yes, maybe show a picture or two here (remember sources & permissions!)

!!!!!!!!! yeah!!! my boyfriends drawn damian and most of my characters bgjkfdhgkfdsgl but one i do hold close to my heart (bc at the time, i barely knew them) was when @stuck-in-the-ghost-zone drew aeyr! it made me really happy tbh. i still have it saved to my phone actually!!!

42. Which one of your OCs would be the most interested in Greek gods?

uhhhh,,, provided that they found a way to get anything involving earth and their beliefs itd probably be either angel or colby. angel enjoys learning anything and everything she can, while colby enjoys hearing about the Tea™ that comes with greek shit

43. Do you have any certain type when you create your OCs? Do you tend to favour some certain traits or looks? It’s time to confess

lordt ok

i really just? enjoy making demons really, or anything that doesnt quite fit “conveniently attractive” in at least one form they have. (i also favor making guys bc im Gay)

44. Something you like about your OCs in general

how well theyre coming together, for so long, their stories have been little fractures and pieces that never fit together. Fragments. but now, theyre almost fully put together and its… wonderful to see

45. A character you no longer use?

a hi have.. one. their name was angel aura, a steven universe oc. i got rid of them because of too many.. bad things.

46. Has anyone ever told you that you treat your OCs badly?

not directly, but yes. it.. actually helped me give a lot of them a ok life, or at least a good ending

47. Has anyone ever (friendly) claimed any of your OCs as their child?

@coffee-burglar eldur, colby, will n a few others lmao

48. OC who is a perfect cinnamon roll, too good for this world, too pure

ELDUR GOD ELDUR PLEASE SOMEONE GIVE THIS KID BACK TO HIS MOM

49. Which one of your OCs would most likely enjoy memes

damian

50. Give me the good ol’ OC talk here. Talk about anything you want

ghjkfgkfdhgklfjhglkjdfhgslfjdgh give me a actual thing to talk about bc im dying op

[blissedoutphil]

Where You Belong Part 9

Sorry for the very long wait, I had to go on a writing hiatus but the semester has ended so I’m back :)

I wrote like 3/4 of this chapter long ago, way before Dan posted his depression video. So this is in no way related to real life Dan, I’ll never romanticise depression. WYB Dan was just having a bad time in uni (might have written it based on what I was going through in uni myself...lol)

And I added this prompt into the chapter, I hope you enjoy!

3995 words of Dom!Phil, sub!dan, fluff, pet play/neko kink, cockwarming, blowjob, handjob, praise kink

or read on ao3!

~Masterlist~

Dan hated life. He hated his uncooperative coursemates, hated his ruthless professors, hated all his unfinished assignments. He just wanted to go home to Phil. To cuddle with Phil, or sit by his feet perhaps. He missed Phil, just wanted to relive his summer.

He’d planned to continue living with Phil during the semester, but here he was, 5 weeks into university and having to bunk in his friend’s room in campus because he had spent the whole evening in school doing a group project and it was too late to go home.

“I’m sorry Peej, I promise I’ll leave tomorrow,” Dan sighed as he plopped onto the spare mattress on the floor.

“No worries, really. I’m always here if you need help. It’s nice having company anyway,” PJ replied.

Dan was so thankful he had a friend like PJ. He’d been staying over for almost 2 weeks now. Every time he thought he could go home, there’d be some new assignment or quiz that he’d have to burn the midnight oil for. Maybe I should’ve just stayed in dorm again this semester, he thought dismally.

Phil had been so understanding, it made Dan feel like crying. He’d miss Phil’s calls or take hours to reply Phil’s texts but Phil never got upset, just kept cheering him on and assuring him that he can ace the semester.

“Miss your boyfriend?”

Dan looked up from his phone to see PJ smirking down at him from his bed. He sighed, “Of course I do.”

“I really wanna meet this prince charming of yours,” PJ stated.

“Maybe one day,” Dan smiled, looking back at his phone, finally able to open the unread messages.

Phil (12:07am): thought i’d stay up w u but an Old Man needs his sleep. pls sleep soon too babe😴

Dan (3:42am): its alright, its the thought that counts lmao😙  yh finally gonna sleep now gnight old man👨

Phil was so excited for his boy to come back home, 2 weeks felt too long. They hadn’t been away from each other that long ever since Dan moved into his home at the start of summer. He briefly wondered if Dan would be up for some kinky fun. Not that he’d mind some vanilla sex either, or even just cuddles.

Dan was supposed to be home about 45 minutes ago, and Phil had texted him when he was 10 minutes late, but still hadn’t received a reply. Another 15 minutes passed and Phil was considering making a rule about punctuality for Dan, but he decided that Dan probably had a good reason for being late and not answering him. He honestly pitied Dan and how busy he was. He’d been to uni, so he understands what Dan’s going through. But still he couldn’t help worrying if Dan’s not okay.

He was pacing around the living room when he heard a knock on the door. He quickly went to open it, seeing a very tired Dan. Before Phil could respond, Dan spoke up.

“I’m sorry, Sir,” Dan said, lowering his head. He sounded stressed and almost panicky.

Phil wrinkled his brows in confusion. “Hey Dan, it’s okay, no need to be sorry,” he said softly, moving aside for Dan to step in.

But Dan didn’t move, even when Phil gestured for him to enter. “Dan? Come in,” Phil said, but before he could grasp Dan’s hand in his, he noticed a tear fall from Dan’s cheek.

“I’m sorry Sir,” Dan repeated, voice quieter, “sorry I’m late, sorry I never answered your texts, always ignoring you. Sorry I’m so useless and dumb, I don’t deserve you, I’m sorry I’m good for nothing.”

Phil had pulled Dan through the door and into a hug halfway through Dan’s monologue. He’d softly shushed him but Dan wouldn’t stop, he was sobbing as he carried on bringing himself down. Phil held onto Dan and stroked his hair, feeling Dan shaking slightly. Dan wasn’t returning the hug, but he buried his face into the crook of Phil’s neck as he whispered negative things about himself.

Phil’s heart broke as he heard Dan say such things about himself. Where was the confident boy he’d been with throughout the summer? He couldn’t take it any longer. He pulled away from the hug and held onto Dan’s shoulders tightly. When Dan wouldn’t look at him, he tilted his chin up with his finger.

“Dan, stop,” he said sternly, and Dan finally quieted down, save for a few hiccups.

Phil noted how dark the circles under Dan’s eyes were. He gently wiped the tears from Dan’s cheeks with his thumb. “What happened, Dan?” he asked, unable to hide the worry from his voice.

“I deserve to be punished, Sir,” Dan sighed.

“Why do you think that?” Phil asked, trying not to sound alarmed. He softly stroked Dan’s cheek.

“Because. I just do. It’s what I should get for being such a nuisance,” Dan wanted to cry again, but his master had told him to stop.

Phil was still confused as to what caused Dan to act this way, but he was clear on what he had to do. “Dan, I’m not going to punish you when I don’t see anything you did to deserve it. What you deserve right now is a warm bath. And what you need is to relax. You’re not any of the things you just said about yourself, understand? Let me take care of you.”

Dan was too tired to protest. He was convinced that he was all the things he said he was, doesn’t know how Phil couldn’t see it. But he was tired, so he let Phil take charge.

Phil gently held Dan’s hand in his as he led Dan to the bathroom. He drew a bath and while waiting for it to fill, he carefully undressed Dan. Dan stood pliantly, letting Phil move him as necessary to remove his clothes.

Phil helped Dan into the tub and when Dan had settled down, he moved to sit behind the tub.

“You’re leaving?” Dan asked, voice small, but Phil could hear the disappointment.

“I’m gonna be right here with you, darling,” Phil reassured. He scooped some water up and wet Dan’s hair, before getting the shampoo.

Dan relaxed into the massage Phil gave as he lathered up his hair. Phil massaged Dan’s scalp thoroughly before rinsing off the shampoo. When he was done, he moved on to massage Dan’s shoulders.

Dan closed his eyes and moaned softly when Phil kneaded at the tensions in his shoulders. He couldn’t remember the last time he actually felt relaxed and comfortable, and he was about to fall asleep when Phil broke the silence.

“Are you feeling better, kitten?”

“A lil,” Dan mumbled, suddenly embarrassed by his breakdown earlier. “Sorry if I scared you earlier.”

“No need to be sorry. I’m always here for you, okay? I don’t want you to think all those horrible things about yourself. You’re smart and confident, you’re not a nuisance or useless. I’m proud and so happy to have you, Dan. You’re not good for nothing.” Phil ended his mini speech by planting a kiss on Dan’s wet hair.

Dan sighed. He wished he could believe Phil as easily as he believed the people in university who brought him down. He splashed the water, angry at himself for being so affected by people who don’t matter, yet unable to accept what the most important person to him was saying.

“Do you want to talk about what happened?” Phil asked slowly, stroking Dan’s shoulders.

Dan gave a small shake of his head. “I just wanna play to be honest,” Dan said shyly. He was upset that his return home was ruined like that, he’d been looking forward to playing with Phil.

“Just relax a little while more. Need to make sure you’re in the right mindset if we’re gonna do anything,” Phil answered, he wasn’t going to push Dan about his meltdown if he wasn’t ready to talk about it.

After a little more massaging, Phil got up. “You okay being here by yourself? I’m gonna prepare some things for you to get ready with in the bedroom.”

Dan nodded.

“Just stay until you’re really ready to play, alright? And if you decide not to play, that’s fine too. Don’t have to pressure yourself, I won’t mind. Your wellbeing is more important.”

Dan nodded again, and Phil gave him a small smile before leaving the bathroom.

What did I do to deserve him?, Dan wondered.

When his skin started getting wrinkly and the water wasn’t warm anymore, Dan finally got out of the bathtub. He took his time drying himself off before walking to the bedroom.

Phil wasn’t in, but he’d laid out the toys on the bed. Dan smiled as he saw his outfit. Phil knew exactly what he needed to clear his mind from all the stress.

He got on all fours on the floor and quickly fingered himself open. Then he took the steel plug. Attached to it was a brown cat tail, long and soft and matching his own hair. He stroked the tail for a bit, feeling the smooth faux fur. He then pushed the plug into himself, biting his lip to suppress a moan from escaping. When the plug was fully in, he wiggled his butt a little, feeling the tail sway behind him, tickling his inner thighs.

Next, he grabbed the collar from the bed. It was a thin turquoise silk collar with a small black ribbon at the front and a silver bell that hung below the ribbon. Dan loved the colour of the collar, it reminded him of Phil’s eyes. He fastened it on and tapped the bell, letting it jingle.

Lastly, he put on the cat ears that matched the colour of his tail and his hair. He crawled in front of the mirror to take a look at himself. For a moment he contemplated if he should get some sharpie to draw whiskers on his face, but decided that’d turn him from sexy to cringey.

He was a little hard from fingering himself, and looking at himself like this just turned him on further. He turned a little to look at his tail, enjoying the feel of fur on his skin.

After a while of checking himself out, Dan finally crawled out of the room. He slowly made his way to Phil, who was on the sofa with his laptop. Phil immediately looked up when Dan entered the room. “Hey there, kitten,” he greeted.

Dan bumped his head against Phil’s shin, rubbed his cheek against Phil’s knee like an actual cat would. Phil chuckled and scratched Dan’s hair lightly.

“C’mon up, kitty,” Phil said, patting the space on the sofa next to him.

Dan managed to gracefully climb up onto the sofa, and he snuggled into Phil’s side, curling his body as much as he could. Phil smiled and played with the end of Dan’s tail.

“You must be hungry, kitten,” Phil said, moving to get the plate of sandwiches he’d prepared for Dan.

Dan hadn’t noticed the food on the coffee table, and he certainly hadn’t noticed how hungry he actually was, too busy having a breakdown and all. But at the sight of the tuna sandwich, his stomach growled.

Phil tore off a small piece and fed it to Dan, who gratefully accepted it. Phil stroked Dan’s hair as he chewed, making Dan hum contentedly.

They kept at it until the sandwich was gone. Every time Phil fed Dan the small bites, Dan kept Phil’s fingers between his lips just a little longer than necessary, looking up at Phil with big eyes and moaning softly in appreciation. He noticed how his actions were slowly making Phil hard, but Phil would just smile down at him and pat his hair and straighten his ears.

After the meal, Phil turned the tv on and continued patting Dan while he watched the tv, scratching under his chin sometimes and stroking his back other times. Dan purred, it felt so good. He felt so safe and cared for. He closed his eyes and just focused on the light touches he was getting from Phil.

“My kitty’s so pretty,” Phil commended, and Dan hid his face in Phil’s side to hide his blush, but he couldn’t stop himself from purring at the praise.

After a while, the pats slowed down and Phil just rested his hand on Dan’s back. Dan was happy being able to just lay there and be Phil’s pretty little kitty. In that moment, he didn’t have any assignments to stress over, no exams to study for, no grades to worry about, and absolutely no rude professors or coursemates to bring him down.

In that moment, the only thing that mattered to him was Phil. And his tail. He began playfully swatting at his tail, making Phil giggle.

They lounged like that for about half an hour, but then Dan got bored. His and Phil’s boners had both died down, and he wanted to change that. He propped his chin on Phil’s thigh and looked up at Phil.

Phil only responded by brushing his fingers in Dan’s hair absentmindedly. So, Dan slowly inched his face closer to Phil’s crotch. Phil finally looked down when he felt warm breath against his crotch.

“Mrow,” Dan tried to meow.

Phil smiled and tapped the bell on Dan’s collar. “Gettin’ bored, pet?”

“Mrrow,” Dan meowed again, and he nuzzled Phil’s crotch.

Phil couldn’t resist when Dan’s looking so cute like that, looking up at him with his big brown eyes in a cat-like manner. He smiled and unzipped his pants, but didn’t go any further. He wanted to see what his lil kitty had in mind.

Dan eyed Phil’s crotch hungrily. With his teeth, he pulled Phil’s underwear down just enough to get Phil’s dick out. It was barely hard, but that’s exactly how Dan wanted it. He wanted to feel it grow in his mouth.

Slowly, he took Phil’s soft cock in his mouth up to the hilt. He hollowed his cheeks. With his nose buried in Phil’s pubes and his lips meeting Phil’s crotch, Dan closed his eyes and hummed in content.

Phil’s breathing got a little shallower as he felt his cock twitch in the warmth of Dan’s mouth. But Dan wasn’t sucking on him, wasn’t trying to do anything to get him hard at all. He was just laying still and keeping Phil’s cock in his mouth.

Dan focused on breathing through his nose. Deep breaths that were made better as he could inhale his master’s scent with each breath. He rested his head on Phil’s thigh and felt the weight of Phil’s slowly growing cock on his tongue. He didn’t want to rush anything. He was glad Phil was taking his time as well.

Phil ran his hand through Dan’s curls softly. He knew what Dan was doing, so he tried his best not to get hard too quick so that Dan could enjoy cockwarming longer. Dan felt so calm and relaxed as he put all his attention on Phil’s cock. Every so often, he’d purr and feel Phil’s cock twitch and harden a bit more.

They continued lounging, Dan enjoying being a cocksleeve and Phil absentmindedly patting Dan’s head and stroking his back. After some time, Phil’s cock was almost fully hard.

“Enjoying yourself, kitten?” Phil asked softly.

Dan, who had been so still that Phil wasn’t sure if he’d fallen asleep, opened his eyes and blinked up at Phil. Batting his eyelashes, he hummed happily.

Phil let out a little moan. “Your warm mouth feels so good, pet,” he praised.

Dan felt Phil’s tip hit the back of his throat as it finally grew to full hardness. His lips were now stretched around Phil’s shaft, but he didn’t move, still content with just being a cockwarmer. His own cock was also hard, had been since he got Phil’s in his mouth, but he paid no mind. He briefly wondered if it was weird that cockwarming managed to calm him down, ground him and chase all his feelings of panic and stress away. God, does he love Phil’s cock.

Dan could hear Phil breathing heavier, understanding that he probably needed some stimulation. Yet Phil was still so kind, not rushing Dan to do anything, putting Dan’s needs first.

Without breaking eye contact with Phil, Dan slowly moved off, dragging his tongue along the underside of Phil’s cock as he did so. Phil let out a small moan and gripped Dan’s hair lightly, almost knocking Dan’s cat ears off his head.

Dan licked Phil’s slit, tasting a bit of precum. He swirled his tongue around the head before giving it small kitten licks.

“What a tease. Cheeky lil kitty, aren’t you?” Phil said almost breathlessly, and he felt Dan’s smile against his skin before he saw it.

Dan licked his way down Phil’s shaft to his balls. He got up on his elbows and knees and stuck his butt out in the air, swaying his tail about while he sucked on Phil’s balls. Phil stroked down Dan’s back and squeezed Dan’s ass, making Dan mew.

“Ah, good kitten,” Phil praised when Dan moved to finally properly suck on Phil and started bobbing his head.

Dan purred as he sucked on Phil, the vibrations making Phil’s toes curl. The bell on his collar jingled as he moved faster.

Dan sucked Phil all the way down til his nose poked Phil’s crotch, and he stayed for as long as he could. His gag reflex was long gone, he only moved up a little when he needed some air. Dan repeated his movements, deepthroating Phil who groaned in pleasure whenever he felt his tip reach the back of Dan’s throat.

Phil had one hand resting in Dan’s hair, and his other moved to Dan’s hard dick. Dan was so focused on pleasuring Phil that he was barely aware of his own erection. He didn’t even feel the desire to come, gaining pleasure purely from giving Phil pleasure.

But as Phil started stroking Dan’s cock, Dan couldn’t help the little mews he let out while he continued to blow Phil. He thrusted his hips into Phil’s fist while bobbing his head at the same rhythm.

“Good pet, so beautiful like this,” Phil praised again, moving his hand away from Dan’s cock to stroke his tail and push the plug into Dan further. Dan moaned in response, arching his back and wiggling his ass.

Dan pulled off of Phil and licked his red lips. He nuzzled Phil’s crotch, taking his time. He didn’t want to rush things. Ending the scene quicker meant facing reality sooner.

Phil had went back to stroking Dan’s cock lazily. He really needed to come, was so tempted to push his cock past Dan’s swollen lips. But he let Dan go at his own pace, nosing his balls, purring when Phil twisted his hand in his hair.

Dan licked up the stripe of precum leaking down Phil’s cock before sucking him again. He had begun leaking precum as well, and Phil stroked him faster, making him moan around Phil’s cock.

They were both so close to the edge already, moaning and panting as their movements sped up. Dan eagerly sucked on Phil while massaging his balls, feeling Phil tremble in pleasure.

“I’m close, pet,” Phil panted, stroking Dan quickly so they’d come together.

Dan meowed in agreement with his mouth full of Phil’s cock. He hummed as he bobbed his head faster, encouraging Phil to orgasm. His hips were thrusting urgently into Phil’s fist.

Phil came with a loud groan, and Dan followed almost immediately. Dan moaned as he came, but never took his mouth off Phil’s cock as he swallowed Phil’s cum. Phil continued stroking Dan albeit erratically, and Dan’s cum spilled all over his hand.

Dan only pulled off when he was sure he’d swallowed every drop of Phil’s cum. He looked down himself to see Phil’s hand wrapped loosely around his softening cock. He pawed at it until Phil brought his hand closer to his face, then he licked up his own cum, cleaning Phil’s hand.

Phil was panting, and he looked at his kitty lap up his own cum on his palm through half lidded eyes. “So hot, kitten,” he commented.

When Dan was done, he licked his lips then rested his head on Phil’s thigh, looking up at Phil with wide, adoring eyes.

“Love you, kitty,” Phil said softly, petting Dan’s cat ears. Dan purred, then he gave a light peck on Phil’s crotch and tucked Phil back into his pants using his teeth.

Dan wished he could stay in his kitten headspace forever. He was so comfortable, with his cheek resting on Phil’s thigh. He felt so blissed, so safe and calm. He closed his eyes and purred softly.

Phil pet Dan’s hair for a while, but he knew letting a sub go to sleep while in a different headspace is not a good idea. He nudged his thigh a little, making Dan grumble softly.

“C’mon kitty, let’s go to the bedroom. Better than falling asleep here,” he suggested.

Dan whined, but got up on all fours. He yawned and pandiculated his back just like a cat would. He looked up at Phil, who’d already stood up, sleepily.

Phil smiled fondly and tried to pick Dan up like he would a cat, but Dan was so big that he ended up carrying him bridal style. Dan nuzzled against Phil’s neck as Phil walked to the room.

Phil gently put Dan on the bed, and Dan stayed on all fours. “So good for me, aren’t you?” Phil praised quietly, nuzzling his nose against Dan’s.

He pecked Dan lightly on the lips and stroked his cheek. “I love you so much,” Phil continued, noticing how Dan’s eyes began to water.

“I’m always here to take care of you,” Phil whispered reassuringly as he moved behind Dan, “Let’s get ready for bed, yeah.”

He stroked Dan’s tail, and Dan swayed his hips a little. Phil heard Dan sigh as he slowly pulled the tail plug out. He stroked the smooth skin of Dan’s ass before moving back to face his boy.

Dan looked up at Phil with wide, glassy eyes as Phil removed his cat ears. Phil tapped the bell on his collar one last time before unfastening it. He quickly placed all the toys on the bedside drawer and undressed, then returned to Dan. He gestured for Dan to lie down.

Dan curled into Phil’s side as soon as they laid down. He didn’t want to leave his headspace, but he could feel Phil pulling him out of it. Phil held him close and he listened with his eyes shut to whispered praises and positive words, willing himself not to cry.

Phil stroked his hair, hugged him, kissed his forehead gently. “You okay, Dan?” he checked in quietly after a while.

Dan opened his eyes and looked up into caring blue irises. “Yes, Phil,” he gave a small smile, “thank you.”

Phil returned his smile. He knows his boy was strong, and he’d make sure to always be by his side to help him get through anything.

“I love you,” Dan whispered. He felt so so grateful to have Phil, to have someone who cared that much about him. Someone who wouldn’t take advantage of him when he was vulnerable, someone who wasn’t put off by his outbursts and breakdowns. Someone who would instead pick him back up and remind him of his worth. Someone who knew exactly what his needs were, and would act on them with no hesitation.

“I love you too,” Phil whispered back. He watched as Dan drifted off to sleep against his chest. He knows they’d make it through anything, as long as they were together, where they belonged.

This is probably the last chapter of Where You Belong. I had fun writing it and I’m glad many of you enjoy it too <3 Sad to end this series, but hey it means I can start on new stuff :)

If you guys loved this series, it’d mean a lot to me if you guys nominated WYB in phanficawards <3

[danfanciesphil]

Raise your arms and hold 

by danfanciesphil (Read on Ao3!)

Phil's only requirement for a new flat was a balcony. The view was just a bonus.

Rating: Mature Word Count: 10,315 Warnings: Recreational drug use (weed) Recommended Listening: Balconies by Paper Route (Inspiration for the title)

Excerpt: Phil laughed, shaking his head. “No. But it would’ve been a nice feature to include - that there’s a mysterious, pretty boy on the balcony opposite.” Phil smiled at him, watching Dan’s eyes widen in surprise. “I was on the verge of saying no to this place. But that would’ve persuaded me.”

I wrote this little oneshot (10k is little for my rambly ass lmao) for my dear friend Nova while she was recovering from a hospital visit. I ended up really enjoying it, so I thought I’d share with you guys! 

In truth, the apartment was nothing spectacular.

It had been Phil’s third flat viewing that day, and by the time the Estate Agent ushered him inside, he was already weary of climbing stairwells to view tiny, cramped living spaces that he still could barely afford.

The types of places in Phil’s modest budget were all fairly similar in appearance, so Phil kind of knew what to expect when he stepped into this one. It was a studio, with a bed at one end and a kitchen at the other. There was a small bathroom near the door, with just about enough room for a shower, toilet and sink.

It did have a balcony, though.

Phil had stressed his desire for this one feature as strongly as he could to Julie, his Estate Agent, when he’d first spoken with her. She’d given him the usual spiel about how it would be unlikely that he’d find a place within his price range, in South London, with an outdoor space. But Phil had just waved her cautions away, and told her to do the best she could.

“It meets your specifications, you’ll notice,” Julie remarked as she showed him this third place, chuckling politely as she pulled open the two white, flaking wooden doors to the outside.

The balcony itself was nothing grand, obviously. Phil stepped out onto it, hands in his pockets, breathing in deeply. A black iron railing ran around the edge of the small space, which jutted out about four feet from the door. It would be just enough to squeeze a chair in, Phil thought, peering over the edge of the railing to the narrow alleyway below.

It was plenty of space for what he planned to do with it, though. He could overlook the chair perhaps, in favour of creating more space for his other projects.

In terms of a view, this place didn’t have one. The balcony looked out onto the building opposite, which was virtually a mirror of the one in which Phil stood. There was an apartment directly opposite his own, in fact, with its own balcony jutting almost absurdly close to the one Phil was looking out from.

A strange mental image popped into Phil’s mind; sipping tea, out here on his balcony as a crotchety neighbour glared at him from a few metres away. The opposing balcony was probably close enough, Phil reckoned, that he could leap across to it if he suspended all fear of falling to the concrete below.

“So, what do you think?” Julie asked, shuffling into the small space beside Phil on the balcony.

“Do you know who lives there?” Phil asked her, pointing to the flat opposite. The windows were dark, their curtains pulled shut.

There was a sliver of the interior visible through the gap between the person’s curtains, but aside from what looked like a piano covered in a mess of papers and mugs, it was hard to make out anything distinct.

Julie looked at Phil strangely. “I’m afraid not.”

Phil nodded, looking pensive as he continued to stare out. On balance, this flat was probably the nicest one he’d seen yet, if only because it had the one thing he truly wanted. Sure, it was a little over a fifteen minute walk to the tube station, and the stairwell had some garish, flickering fluorescents that would probably become a nuisance. But in all honesty, Phil was tired of looking. He just wanted to sign a lease, and move his stuff into a permanent place so he could finally get off his brother’s couch.

“Okay,” he told Julie after a minute of silent deliberation. “I’ll take it.”

As he shook Julie’s hand, sealing the deal, he could have sworn he noticed the curtain in the opposite apartment twitch.

It didn’t take Phil long to move in. He didn’t have a lot of stuff, what with it being just him, so the whole operation took under an hour. Martyn, his brother, came along to help, but in the end he ended up just providing some company while Phil unpacked his few possessions and placed them around his new home.

“You’re gonna freeze to death in here if you keep those open,” Martyn told him, nodding to the balcony doors, which Phil had opened wide the moment he first stepped in.

Phil shrugged, not minding in the slightest. “I like them open. It’s less confining.”

Martyn rolled his eyes at him, but didn’t argue. They went to a nearby diner after the last box had been unpacked, grabbing a quick meal. After that, Martyn said his goodbyes, gave Phil a good luck squeeze, and headed back home.

Phil trekked back up the stairs of his new apartment building, sighing at the flickering light overhead. He unlocked the door of his new flat, and shut it behind him, feeling the world fall away.

Caught in a moment of deliberation over what to do with himself for the rest of the night, he walked out onto the balcony, letting the dwindling dusk settle around him as he leaned his forearms against the railing. As he tilted his head upwards, he was pleasantly surprised to find a star-speckled sky painted behind the blockish buildings crowding the immediate vicinity. Phil smiled to himself, feeling the evening chill prickle at his bare arms, rippling goosebumps over his pale skin.

“Uh, hi.”

Phil jumped in surprise, having thought he was alone.

For the first time, he noticed a figure on the balcony opposite, hunched in a camping chair in the corner, his knees drawn up to his chest like a woodlouse.

Phil stared at this figure for a moment, trying to make sense of him. Belatedly, he remembered social etiquette.

“Hi.”

“Sorry,” the boy said, looking awkward. “You didn’t notice me here, and… I thought it’d be weirder if I didn’t draw attention to myself before you did notice… or something.”

Phil huffed a laugh. “Fair enough.”

“Have you just moved in?” The boy asked. He unfurled himself from the camping chair, revealing a lanky body - all limbs and sharp, angular lines - as he stood up.

His oversized stripey jumper slipped off one shoulder as he stepped towards the railing. Phil’s eyes fell to the exposed skin without meaning to.

“Yeah,” he replied, a little stunned by the sight of a young, attractive boy his age in place of the ancient, grumpy neighbour he’d imagined living across from him.

As the boy neared him, the unmistakeable smell of weed floated across the gap between their balconies, curling around Phil’s senses like the ghostly fingers of a long lost friend.

Phil’s eyes fell to the fingers of the boy’s left hand, which he now saw held a small, thinly rolled joint between them.

“I’m Dan.” The boy told him, taking a drag from it. “Sorry for scaring you.”

Phil regarded him curiously, trying to make him out in the low light. Certain features were more visible than others. The moonlight glinted off the whites of his eyes, yet the colour of them was lost to shadow, transforming his pupils into two black holes. His hair was tousled, curly even, in an unkempt, natural way. Again however, the colour could have ranged from onyx to bright blue for all Phil could see.

It was obvious that this boy was very pretty, at least. The vermillion glow of the end of his joint drew Phil’s attention to Dan’s mouth, and he tried to imagine the smoke rushing into Dan’s lungs, the drug massaging Dan’s mind, warming him from the inside out.

“I’m Phil.”

Dan nodded, then plucked the joint from his lips, holding it out over the railing, towards Phil.

“Want some?”

Phil wasn’t sure why he leant over to accept the joint from Dan’s hand. He hadn’t smoked since his second year of university, and had never been particularly enamoured with the stuff anyway.

He didn’t mind the occasional drag on a joint at parties, but generally Phil preferred to be alert, finding he worked better that way. His productivity levels had never been positively affected by cannabis.

Nevertheless, he found himself drawing deeply on the joint Dan gave him, eyes closing as the nostalgia of inhaling the drug washed through his body. He blew it out slowly, watching the smoke spiral away from his lips, up into the darkening ink spill of the night sky.

“Thanks,” Phil said, leaning out in order to pass the joint back to Dan.

“Sure,” Dan replied. A few seconds of silence passed; Phil closed his eyes, relishing the waves of blissful relaxation as they lapped over his skin. “I’m not a stoner, by the way.”

Phil’s eyes fluttered open. He smiled at Dan, saying nothing.

“I just…” Dan sighed, smoke billowing from his lips. “I need a break sometimes.”

“From?”

Dan shrugged, twiddling what was left of the joint between his fingers. “Life.”

Phil nodded, gazing up at the stars again. “I get that.”

Again, a silence fell between them.

“Are you living here on your own?” Dan asked after a while.

“Yeah,” Phil replied. “And you?”

Dan nodded, though a frown pulled down the corners of his mouth. He took another drag.

“I should go inside.” Phil sighed, feeling sleepy all of a sudden.

“Oh,” Dan said, sounding disappointed. “Okay. See you around then.”

“It was nice to meet you.” Phil told him sincerely, turning to go. “I expect you’ll see lots of me out here.”

Dan smiled, stubbing the joint out on the railing. “Cool.”

Phil stepped back to the open doors, intending to go and collapse on his bare mattress and succumb to cannabis-induced slumber. Just before he got inside, he turned back to Dan, smiling.

“Julie should have put you in the listing for this place.”

Dan snorted with laughter. “What, that there’s a dude who’ll give you free drugs if you move in?”

Phil laughed, shaking his head. “No. But it would’ve been a nice feature to include - that there’s a mysterious, pretty boy on the balcony opposite.” Phil smiled at him, watching Dan’s eyes widen in surprise. “I was on the verge of saying no to this place. But that would’ve persuaded me.”

Dan just looked at him, clearly at a loss for what to say. The expression on his face was one of such bemusement that Phil instinctively knew he’d wake up in the morning regretting his words. For now however, he just chuckled, waved once, and stepped off the balcony, back into his new flat.

*

It was around a week before Phil saw Dan again.

He kept an eye out for him, watching the doors of the balcony opposite for any signs of movement. They stayed firmly closed however, to Phil’s disappointment. Once, he thought he might be able to hear piano music filtering in through his own open doors, but he couldn’t tell if it was coming from Dan’s apartment or not; the curtains were all firmly drawn.

He became used to the commute to his lab on the tube, which took him half an hour every day, not including the walk to the station from his new building. Work was the same as ever, and Phil quickly slipped back into his routine, monitoring tests, writing reports, analysing data.

Often he’d get lost in his project, and would look up from the incubator he’d been staring into to find that hours had slipped by, and that all his co-workers had long since gone home.

One such night, on a Friday, he found himself unlocking his front door at ten in the evening. Unsure how he could have lost track of time quite so badly, Phil headed for the balcony at once, bypassing the kitchen in order to let himself switch off as he stood, inhaling the cold night air, leant against his railing as he looked up at the skies above.

Sadly, this time there were no stars.

“You should get a chair or something.”

Phil smirked to himself, his gaze falling from the heavens to the balcony opposite. Dan was sat in his fold-out chair again, the thin trail of smoke spiralling from his hand a telltale sign of what he was holding in it.

“I don’t mind leaning here.” Phil told him honestly. “I sit all day.”

Dan regarded him curiously. “You do?”

Phil nodded. “I work in a lab.”

Dan appeared to contemplate this, dragging on the joint in his hand. “So you sit on a stool?”

“Yes.”

“That’s not very comfy, I’d imagine.”

Phil shrugged. “It’s fine. I don’t really notice.”

“You could get a nice, soft, comfy chair to lounge on your balcony.”

Phil laughed, one eyebrow raised. “Like you, you mean?”

It was pretty dark, but Phil could still see the smirk form on Dan’s lips. He unfurled himself from the camping chair, standing up. His jumper was different today - grey and shapeless, obscuring the lithe body beneath it.  

Dan walked to the railing, holding the joint out for Phil to take. “I don’t sit out here often enough to buy a proper chair.”

Phil hesitated before accepting the joint again, wondering if getting into the habit of sharing tokes with his neighbour might be a bad idea. In the end, however, he couldn’t be bothered to debate the pros and cons. He took the rollie from Dan, bringing it to his lips.

“Well maybe you will now that you’ve got a fun new neighbour,” Phil quipped, smiling at him.

He inhaled, allowing the silvery mist to seep across the front of his mind, blurring the most acute of his concerns.

Dan snorted with laughter. “I think it’s a bit early in our friendship for me to be buying furniture for us, Phil.”

Phil chuckled. “Give it time.”

*

The first time Phil saw Dan in the daylight was the following afternoon. It was a Saturday, and Phil spent the morning wandering around his new neighbourhood. He ducked into a cutesy cafe for a cappuccino and a croissant - he never usually had time for breakfast - and then spent half an hour or so wandering through a plant shop, gazing in admiration at the overflowing displays.

He purchased some tiny cacti, then picked up a few smallish plant pots, along with soil, a hanging basket, and several packets of seeds.

After he’d hauled his spoils up the three flights of stairs to his flat, he was pretty exhausted. It was tempting to stop there, to switch on some Stranger Things and veg out on the sofa for the rest of the day, but Phil rarely got time off these days, so he refused to let himself waste it.

He made a cup of coffee, then brought the pots, plants and soil out to the balcony, and got stuck in. It was tiring work, and messy, but the cool, squidgy soil felt nice against his hands. He dug small holes with his fingertips and tucked the seeds in with the utmost care.  Lobelia, passion flowers, anemones and pansies in one pot. Cherry tomatoes and chilli plants in a second. Mint and lavender in another.

He filled one larger pot entirely with sunflower seeds.

Hours must have slipped by, but Phil was too busy with his project to notice the day running away without him, as usual. It was only when he sensed eyes on him that he finally paused, glancing up at the balcony opposite.

Dan was leant against the railing, smiling at him amusedly. “Didn’t have you down as the gardening type.”

It took Phil a moment to respond, distracted as he was by the sight of Dan in the daylight. His hair and eyes were both chestnut brown, he noted, feeling a sense of satisfaction at having this information at last. He was wearing a t-shirt today, white with a grey, marbled effect.

There was something about him, in the light, that changed him completely from the version Phil had grown used to. Gone were the shadows cast across his face; in their place, a light dusting of caramel freckles. A dimple embedded itself into Dan’s cheek as he smiled, invisible to Phil until now.

Phil cursed the darkness for ever hiding it from him. Feeling warm as the realisation of Dan’s profound beauty washed over him, Phil dusted dirt from his hands and stood, reaching for his coffee.

“I’m a biology student I’ll have you know.” Phil told him, smiling. “Plants are friends of mine.”

“You’re a student?” Dan asked, sounding surprised.

Phil took a sip of coffee, then winced in disgust. He made a face, putting the coffee aside, and Dan laughed at him.

“Ugh, sorry. I’m always letting drinks go cold.” Phil said, shaking his head. “Anyway yeah, I’m doing my PhD.”

Dan’s eyebrows shot up, clearly impressed. “Wow.”

Embarrassed, Phil just shrugged at him. “It’s not that big of a deal. I mostly just stare at plants and write things about them.”

Dan shook his head, leaning a little further over the railing. “You shouldn’t downplay it, Phil. Getting into a PhD programme is really difficult. It’s impressive.”

Phil laughed awkwardly, feeling his cheeks begin to burn. “Thanks.”

“Anyway, your balcony is clearly going to benefit from your biological skill.”

Phil gazed around at the various pots littering the small space. He wiped the back of his hand over his forehead, sighing. “I hope so.” He gazed up at Dan again, smiling nervously. “If it works out, perhaps my neighbours will benefit too.”

Dan chuckled, nodding. He leant an elbow on the railing, placing his chin in his hand. “Is that right? What’ve you planted for us all, Phil?”

Phil winked in an attempt to be enigmatic. “It’s a surprise.”

Dan rolled his eyes, though he was still smiling. Phil opened his mouth to say something else, but at that moment, the distinct sound of a door slamming burst out from the depths of Dan’s flat.

Immediately, the smile was wiped clean off of Dan’s face. He turned around, eyes widening, and straightened up.

“I’ve gotta go,” Dan said quickly, shooting a brief look of apology Phil’s way. “Sorry. See you later.”

Phil could only stare, perplexed, as Dan scurried back into his apartment, shutting the double doors firmly behind him.

*

It was late evening by the time Dan re-emerged, and Phil was sweeping the soil he’d spilled into a dustpan. His miniature garden was far from completed, but he was too tired to do any more to it today.

When Dan’s door opened, he looked up in surprise, having resigned himself to the idea that Dan would not be back out here again for some time.

In Dan’s hand was a cup of coffee; he walked up to the railing, looking nervous, and held it out towards Phil.

Phil blinked at the mug, not comprehending.

“This is my way of apologising for being rude earlier.” Dan explained.

The steam from the mug rose into the air, catching in Phil’s nostrils. It smelled rich and strong, unlike the watery, instant stuff Phil had in his cupboard inside.

Phil stood slowly, leaning over the rail and taking the mug from Dan’s hand, partly because he was worried Dan might burn himself on it.

“You made me coffee?”

“Yeah. You left yours to go cold earlier.”

Something warm and glowing pulsated in Phil’s belly. What did it mean, that Dan was this attentive to his actions? Was there some hidden meaning behind the incredibly sweet gesture of making him coffee, or was this just Dan’s peculiar way?

He brought the mug to his lips, eyes fluttering shut as he inhaled the fragrant, delicious aroma.

Typically, Phil would not drink coffee this late. He’d be too afraid of screwing up his sleeping pattern, and not being able to regulate it in time for work on Monday. His experiments required concentration and care; it was vital that Phil be alert for the whole working day.

But Dan had made this specially for him. Besides, it was a Saturday. So Phil sipped appreciatively, not even minding that there was no milk or sugar. Good coffee tended not to need it, anyway.

When he looked up again from his mug, he noticed Dan had leant forward on his railing, head nestled in the crook of one elbow, bowed forwards into it.

“Hey, are you alright?”

Dan raised his head a little, propping his chin on his forearm. He’d slipped on a hoodie since Phil had last seen him.

“Not really.” Dan replied.

Stuck for what to say, Phil just pressed himself against the rail in an attempt to get closer. He moulded his expression into an appropriate one of concern. “Do you wanna talk to me about it?”

Dan regarded him for a moment, then smiled. “I’ll just bum you out, but thanks.”

Despite the curiosity eating him alive, Phil left it at that, not wanting to probe. He barely knew Dan, after all. “You keep your curtains drawn a lot.”

Dan snorted. “And you leave your doors wide open twenty-four seven.”

“I like the fresh air!” Phil said defensively, taking another sip of coffee.

“Burglars like it too.”

“You can keep an eye on things for me when I’m not here, right?” Phil asked, giggling.

Dan straightened up, rolling his eyes. “So I’m your watchdog now?”

“Got anything better to do with your days?”

For some reason, this question, meant as a joke, seemed to change Dan’s mood somewhat. His smile disappeared, and he wrapped his arms around his middle, sighing heavily.

“I didn’t mean-”

“Forget it.” Dan interrupted.

A silence hung, uncomfortable and tight, in the air between them.

“I’m gonna go to bed.” Dan said eventually, sounding awkward.

Phil’s chest ached, wishing he could take back his jokey comment, even if he didn’t understand quite what the issue was.

“Okay,” Phil answered, not sure what else to say. “Do you want your mug back?”

Dan gazed at Phil for a drawn out second, then smiled. “Nah. Drink your coffee. I’ll get it back some other time.”

“Are you sure?”

“I’ve got more than one mug, Phil.” Dan said, a teasing lilt to his voice.

Phil smiled back, glad that the awkward atmosphere seemed to be dissipating. “Okay. Goodnight, then.”

“Night.” Dan replied, hesitating for a second before turning and ducking back into his flat.

Dan didn’t come out onto the balcony on Sunday, but Phil could hear voices wafting over nonetheless.

From the sounds of things, Dan was having an argument. The voices were indistinct, but raised and aggressive. Phil tried to concentrate on his task of fixing the planted pots to the railing of his balcony, but after a while it just felt like he was prying.

He decided to leave the gardening for the time being, and spent the rest of his weekend catching up with Stranger Things.

On Tuesday evening, Phil found Dan sitting in his camp chair again. He was scrolling through his phone, concentrating hard on something, and didn’t notice Phil stepping out.

“Watching for burglars climbing in through my balcony doors?”

Dan looked up, already smiling. “Supervising your plant-pals, actually.”

He locked his phone, shifting a bit on his seat.

“How was your day?” Phil asked, feeling a little shy all of a sudden.

“Dull.” Dan answered. “And you?”

“Pretty good, actually. I managed to get a sea anemone to thrive in a humidified container without submersion.”

Dan raised an eyebrow, nodding. “I’m not sure what that means, but it sounds cool.”

“Here,” Phil said brightly, digging his phone out of his pocket. “I’ll show you.”

He opened his camera roll, heart racing a little as his brain caught up with his movements. Dan surely wouldn’t care about seeing his boring science experiments. But when Phil found the photo he took earlier this afternoon, he glanced up at Dan to find him smiling widely.

In what was probably an idiotic move, Phil leaned as far as he could over the railing, extending the hand holding his phone out towards Dan. It reached, just about, and Dan took it from him carefully, their fingers brushing for the most fleeting of seconds.

An electric shiver ran through Phil as he retracted his own hand, realising with some awe that he’d never touched Dan before this point.

“Phil…” Dan whispered, staring down at the phone in his hand. “This is… incredible. I’ve never seen anything like this. You created it?”

Phil nodded, the shyness engulfing him now.  Dan looked so mesmerised; it was a little disconcerting. He’d only wanted to show him the pretty colours and shapes; what if Dan thought he might be trying to boast about his scientific prowess?

The photo he’d found for Dan to see was of his latest botanical experiment. Encased in an enormous large glass orb, Phil had been growing a variety of plants from a multitude of habitats. The orb was carefully regulated in its climate, humidity, moisture levels and light exposure; as the plants thrived or struggled, Phil meticulously recorded the results in order to keep track of how each species preferred its conditions.

His ultimate goal was to construct a self-regulating atmosphere within the orb, through which the sensitive scientific equipment could monitor and change the temperament according to each plant’s requirements.

In other words, Phil was trying to defy God by creating a mini-world wherein plants from all backgrounds could thrive in one place.

So far, it was working pretty well. The plants sometimes died on him, as expected, but most of the time Phil was careful enough to notice any changes in their behaviour that he could change the settings of the orb before disaster struck.

“How have you got sea anemones in here?” Dan asked, baffled as he used his thumb and forefinger to zoom in on the image. “There’s no water! And there are cacti too! And what’s that, a frickin’ snowdrop? Phil, this is insane.”

“It’s all to do with the humidity levels and… other boring stuff.” Phil half-explained, shrugging.

Dan snorted. “Okay, I think you need to reevaluate your definition of boring.”

Phil smiled, feeling a warmth spread into his cheeks. “It’s just my job.”

Dan shook his head, marvelling still. “This is like… the ultimate terrarium.”

“Hah, yeah! It is basically a big terrarium.”

“I’ve always wanted a terrarium.” Dan said wistfully, still staring at the image.

“What’s stopping you?” Phil asked, and Dan sighed, not answering.

Dan’s fingers tapped against Phil’s phone screen, making him panic. Surely he wouldn’t swipe through the rest of Phil’s photos without asking?

“Uh, what’re you doing?” Phil asked, trying to sound nonchalant.

Dan smirked, not looking up yet. His fingers continued to dance against the screen. “Just in case you need to check whether there have been any burglars.”

He locked the phone then, leaning over his railing to hand it back to Phil.

By the time Phil had retrieved it, entered his passcode, clicked through his open apps, found the number Dan had typed into his contacts, and registered what that meant, Dan had already retreated back into his flat.

The following morning, very early, Phil was watering the as-yet unsprouted seeds of his sunflower pot, when Dan’s doors opened. He looked up in shock, about to call out a teasing: ‘so, this is what the day looks like before twelve!’, but the words caught in his mouth.

The man exiting Dan’s apartment was not a gangly, awkward twenty-something. Instead, stood on Dan’s balcony as if he belonged there, was an older gentleman. He had a retreating hairline, greying at the temples, and a scruff of beard on his chin. His eyes, like Dan’s, were chocolate brown, but they lacked the same glimmer of mischief.

He noticed Phil almost at once, fixing him with a hard, assessing gaze. Tiny peach watering can in one hand, Phil froze under the unexpected attention, feeling stunned. He lifted his other hand in a semi-wave, trying to be friendly to this stranger.

He half-wondered, as the man continued to stare coldly, blankly, towards him, whether he ought to be calling the police instead of attempting to befriend him. After all, didn’t Dan say a few days ago that he lived alone?

Before Phil’s half-awake mind could stir itself into a decision, the man in question turned from him, vanishing back inside and drawing the curtains tightly.

Left staring in a state of confusion, Phil finished up watering the plants, and left for work.

His phone itched in his pocket, urging him to just text Dan and ask, but he resisted. He still barely knew Dan, after all. Texting him out of the blue for the first time to ask a nosey-neighbour question wasn’t the way he wanted things to go.

So, he tried to forget about it.

Dan didn’t emerge again until Friday night.

Again, there was a joint in his hand, and if Phil wasn’t mistaken, there was the burnt out stub of another, still slightly smoking, at Dan’s feet.

“No camping chair today?” Phil asked, shrugging on the thick hoodie he’d grabbed off a nearby chair as he came in.

Dan took a deep inhale, then blew it out slowly. “Decided to try it your way.”

“And?”

“I’m undecided.” Dan said after a moment of consideration. “I’ll get back to you.”

“Please do.”

Dan held the joint out for Phil, who took it readily. This had been a long week.

“How was work?” Dan asked him, watching carefully as Phil dragged on the rollie.

Phil nodded, holding the lungful of smoke in for a few seconds before exhaling. “Good. Long.”

He handed the joint back to Dan, but he shook his head. “Keep it. I’m so stoned.”

Phil considered this statement, trying not to be too obvious as he searched Dan’s face for signs of this.

“Bad day?” Phil asked him, joking a little.

He wasn’t sure what Dan did all day, but from the way he spoke, Phil was pretty certain he rarely left his flat.

“The worst.” Dan groaned unexpectedly, once again leaning forwards to place his forehead against his forearm where it rested on the railing.

“Oh,” Phil said, surprised. He took a drag of the joint, unsure what to do. “What happened?”

He didn’t expect Dan to respond, honestly.

“I had a fight with my Dad.” Dan said after a moment, sounding hesitant. “I mean, I fight with him all the time, but it was particularly bad today.”

Phil nodded, silently connecting the dots between this statement and the man he saw on Dan’s balcony on Wednesday.

“What about?”

Dan sighed in frustration, lifting his head from his arm. “Oh y’know, the usual. He thinks I’m wasting my life, throwing my youth away. I should get a job, get over my depression, stop wallowing in misery and worrying my family.”

Phil stared at him, a speck of ash falling from the forgotten joint in his fingers. He tried to think of some kind of response, but his brain was already misting over, and he probably wouldn’t have known what to say even if he were more alert.

“Sorry,” Dan said after a while. “That was a lot of information to get about me in one go.”

Phil nodded, dragging again on the joint. “I’m sorry.”

“What’re you sorry for?”

“It just sounds rough.” Phil said, shrugging. “I’m sorry for you, that you’re going through that right now.”

It was hardly the most eloquent response, but Dan seemed to consider it as seriously as if Phil had recited a bible verse. He gazed out at Phil, puppy-like, as he tilted his head to one side.

“Thanks.” Dan said at last. A pause emerged, bubbling between them. Phil stubbed out the joint. “You didn’t text me.”

Phil chuckled. “Sorry. I didn’t know what to say.”

“So send me emojis.” Dan said, smiling tiredly. “Or pictures. Pictures would be even better.”

“Pictures of what?”

Dan shrugged. “I dunno. Anything. Your lunch. A cool dog on the tube. All the pretty plants in your lab.”

“Don’t encourage me.” Phil laughed, leaning forwards instinctively. “That could get really annoying for you.”

“Phil, most days I barely even make it out of bed.” Dan told him, sounding painfully sincere. “I doubt you will be a nuisance.”

Phil smiled at him. “Okay.”

“Don’t let me down.” Dan warned him, jabbing a finger in his direction. “I expect at least two pictures tomorrow.”

Phil laughed, blushing a little once again. “Do I get pictures in return?”

“Of me in bed?” Dan asked, grinning cheekily. “Sure.”  

The first photo he sent to Dan was of a mouse in his kitchen.

He captioned it ‘a friend’, then followed it up with a photo of some cheese crumbs he left for it after it had scurried away.

Dan ??? No phil, not friend! Call the exterminator!!

Phil :( I dont murder my friends

Dan You’re gonna end up with a rat baby infestation

Phil :) Many friend!

Phil heard the distinct sound of a door opening outside, and then a voice called: “Rodents are not friends!”

Phil giggled to himself, and finished preparing his lunch. He left some breadcrumbs out for Susan (the mouse), obviously.

On Sunday, at around eight in the evening, Dan texted him a photo. Eager, and a little nervous to see what it might be, Phil almost dropped his phone in the bath in which he was sat as he unlocked it, but managed to hang on somehow.

The photo was of what appeared to be Dan’s laptop. It was nestled in the dark grey plaid covers of a bed, as though the person taking the photo were lying under them as they browsed. Netflix was open on the screen, paused on an episode of Stranger Things. This was exciting to Phil, who didn’t have anyone else in his life that he could discuss the show with.

He was about to text Dan back asking his opinions, but stopped, the other tab open on Dan’s browser catching his eye. He squinted at it, sure he must have misread, and then snorted, sitting up a little.

Phil Bee movie yaoi?

Dan Whoops. Forgot to close my tab (:

Phil tilted his head back, wetting the back of his skull as he laughed.

Phil Np, i’ll send u some links so u dont have to browse google like an animal

Dan My hero

Phil Btw i have at least a hundred stranger things questions to ask u

Dan Haha i knew you’d like tht show. Ask away.

Phil Meet on the balcony in ten?

Dan Make it eleven ;)

Over the next couple of weeks, they texted a lot. As promised, Phil sent at least two photos per day, and Dan would always reply in kind. 

Dan tended to text photos of the plants on Phil’s balcony, informing him of ‘exciting updates’ such as the sunflowers budding, or the cherry tomatoes being plucked from their stems by a curious crow. In contrast, Phil usually sent Dan photos of the experiment he was working on, as that was almost always the most interesting thing about his day. The plants Phil grew in his lab were even more colourful and exotic than anything fighting against the London autumnal air on his balcony, so Dan drank up every photo with an enthusiasm that Phil couldn’t get used to. 

No matter how mundane the subject of the image seemed to Phil, who literally stared at it all day long, Dan never failed to be completely awestruck. He’d send long, rambling responses filled with :o emojis, detailing his thoughts about the intricate patterns and composition of the floral arrangements.  

Dan Superb juxtaposition of the  heather against the pansies wow. That violet and lilac action is arousing me big  time :o

Phil laughed and went along with it each time, choosing not to mention that he almost never considered the aesthetics of the experiment before setting it up. He was gladthat Dan managed to glean some delight from his random spray of various botanical projects.

One Friday, PJ wandered over to Phil’s bench, as he often did when he was bored of whatever experiment he was currently working on, and began poking around with Phil’s orbs and vials.

“Can I help you?” Phil asked him, trying to concentrate on filling in his 12pm report on the pansies he was currently nursing.

“I’m bored.” PJ sighed, tapping on the glass of the pansy enclosure.

Phil looked up, irritated, and batted his hand away. “Do some work, then.”

“It’s lunchtime.” PJ told him, perking up a little. “Come get some lunch with me.”

Phil shook his head distractedly, squinting at the pansies. “Can’t. Busy.”

PJ groaned, head tipping backwards. “You’re always busy. You shouldn’t work through lunch.”

“But the pansies-”

“The pansies can fucking wait, Phil.” PJ interrupted, seizing Phil’s wrist so fast that he dropped the pen he was holding.

“Wait!” Phil exclaimed as he was yanked from his stool. “They need monitoring!”

PJ sighed in frustration, reaching across Phil’s workbench to switch on the small camera he’d set up so that the experiments could be recorded overnight.

“There!” PJ said, hauling Phil across the lab towards the door. “Now nothing will be missed. Come on, food time.”

Resigned to PJ’s stubborn attitude, Phil sighed, letting himself be taken.

They found a Starbucks nearby, and admittedly, Phil was grateful for the sugary coffee he was able to sit down with, along with the plush, comfortable sofa. Perhaps Dan had been right when he’d mentioned the lab stools must be uncomfortable. Phil’s butt had never felt more taken care of, suddenly.

“What’s up with you?” PJ asked, breaking through Phil’s thoughts.

He realised, with moderate embarrassment, that he’d been silently stirring his caramel macchiato, smiling dazedly, for around a minute now while PJ stared.

He composed himself quickly, lifting the coffee to his lips. “Sorry. I think I’m just tired today.”

PJ regarded him with a squint. “No, that’s not it.”

Phil shrugged, feeling himself blush without knowing why. He opened his mouth to deny knowledge of what PJ was talking about, but at that second, his phone pinged.

He dived for it eagerly, feeling his heart do a little stutter.

Dan Kill me pls

Phil Sure. I’ll chuck a grenade through your balcony window after work :)

Dan Nope that’s too far away come now

Phil Why so eager for death today?

“Who’re you texting, Phil?

PJ’s voice had a knowing, amused lilt to it. Phil glanced up at him, catching his eye. He put his phone down, blushing harder.

“Nobody.” He answered, retrieving his coffee. “I mean, my neighbour.”

“Your neighbour?”

Phil nodded, mind racing to think of a way to change the subject. His phone pinged again, and Phil forced himself to leave it unanswered on the table.

“You just moved, right?” PJ asked, an air of suspicion flavouring his expression.

“Yeah.”

“So you’ve got a new neighbour,” PJ said, nodding. He sipped some of his coffee. “A cute neighbour?”

Phil spluttered, trying to give the impression that he found the question absurd; unfortunately, his crimson cheeks were answering to the contrary.

“He’s just…” Phil floundered. “He lives across from me. Our balconies face each other. And he’s, y’know, nice. We’re friends.”

His phone pinged a second time, and Phil gnawed his lip, glancing at it. He flexed his fingers at his side, trying to resist the urge to look at it.

PJ laughed at him, picking up his sandwich. “You’re so transparent, Phil.”

Phil sent him a withering look, reaching for his phone again. He’d resisted long enough.

Dan My dad’s here.

Phil’s heart sank. That was not good news.

Over time, Phil had been able to drag a few more bits of information out of Dan about his mysterious father. From what he could gather of the situation, Dan’s Dad was the owner of the flat, and was letting Dan live there on his own. Whilst this seemed like a nice, generous offer on the surface, Phil was getting the picture that it came with a huge pile of guilt-tripping, angry ‘what are you doing with your life’ lectures, unexpected drop-ins, and a lot of general unpleasantness.

Dan was depressed. He’d mentioned it a few times, and from the sounds of things, it was pretty bad. Phil felt for him, and tried to be as much of a calm, happy presence in his life as he could, as that’s what Dan needed.

He definitely did not need constant shouting matches with what sounded like a misinformed, aggressive father who seemed to care more about forcing Dan to make money by any means possible than actually getting him the help he needed.

Dan Can you send me flower photos I am struggling

Phil Im at lunch with my coworker atm I will as soon as I get back x

Dan :( ok ty x

The sympathy slicing through Phil’s core must have been evident in his face, because when Phil placed his phone down, PJ looked concerned.

“Everything ok?”

Phil sighed. “Not really. My neighbour - Dan - he’s going through a rough time.”

“Oh,” PJ said, swallowing a bite of his sandwich. “Sorry mate. That sucks.”

Phil shrugged, sipping more caramelly coffee. “I wish I could think of something to cheer him up, y’know?”

PJ nodded, head tilting thoughtfully. “Well, what makes him happy?”

Phil considered this, frowning. 

“I text him photos of pretty plants.” Phil said, shrugging. “I think that makes him happy. But I’m already doing that.”

“Maybe you could give him a plant.” PJ suggested. “Didn’t you say you just set up a whole garden on your balcony?”

“I thought about that once.” Phil admitted, wondering if he should let on quite how often he thinks about Dan, and all the things he could do for Dan, and what Dan’s doing at any point in the day. “But he told me a while ago that he’d never be able to look after a plant of his own. He said he would love it, and he wouldn't mean to, but he'd let it die, and it would only make him sadder”

Phil hated to agree with him on this, but as an expert in the area, he was pretty sure Dan was right. The guy never even opened his curtains to let light into his flat. Granted, Phil hasn’t really seen inside, but he’d bet that Dan’s apartment was not exactly a houseplant-friendly environment.

PJ snorted with laughter unexpectedly. Phil stared at him in surprise.

“What?”

“It’s just funny.” PJ said, draining the last of his americano.

“What’s funny?”

“Kismet.” PJ said, smiling, “You’re shaped for one another.”

“What are you on about, Peej?” Phil asked, perplexed. 

PJ sighed, rolling his eyes. “So we’ve got him, having this inhospitable environment, but still wishing he could have a plant of his own, right?”

“Uh huh...”

“And then we have you, perhaps the only person in the world researching around how to keep plants thriving in adverse conditions.”

“Right, I suppose-”

PJ made a sweeping gesture with his hand to highlight his incredulity. “And you just decided to move in opposite him, almost on a whim? I mean, did he wish on a star for you, or something?”

“Well...” Phil protested, feeling a rush of fizzy, embarrassed unsurety pouring over him. “I mean, I wouldn’t say anything so dramatic-” 

PJ raised an eyebrow. “Phil, look me in the eye and tell me you hold the perfect solution to this problem.”

Phil blushed, shrugging. He didn’t manage to meet PJ’s eye. PJ laughed the whole walk back to the lab.

So, for two days, Phil worked on the conundrum of how to give Dan a plant despite the fact he’d almost certainly neglect it.

After two trips to the lab, along with a weekend’s worth of tinkering, Phil finally had something he felt would work. On Sunday evening, he walked out onto his balcony, heart racing with nerves. His chilli plant had started to produce some small, still-green chillis, so he plucked one off, and threw it at Dan’s glass doors.

It took a minute or so, but eventually, a light flicked on inside, and then Dan’s face poked around the curtain. Upon seeing Phil, Dan unlocked the doors immediately, stepping out into the frigid air.

He had on nothing but boxers and a baggy white jumper, which Phil was not expecting. He blushed at the sight of Dan’s bare, shapely legs. He had thick, lovely thighs that Phil couldn’t help imagining beneath his hands. How would that pale, sparsely haired skin look covered in bite marks and bruises, he wondered?

He dragged his eyes away, mortified by how quickly his mind had descended into the gutter. He was thankful that the darkness was probably hiding the redness of his cheeks. 

“Where’ve you been, then?” Dan asked, carefully picking his way over to the railing. He had no shoes on, just some grey socks.

Dan’s arms wrapped around his middle, the sleeves covering his hands. As he got closer, Phil could hear the telltale sound of his teeth chattering.

“Sorry,” Phil said, meaning it sincerely. “I was busy with something.”

“All weekend?” Dan asked.

He sounded annoyed; Phil felt a little blindsided by it.

“Um, yeah,” Phil said apologetically. “It took longer than expected.”

“You didn’t even answer my texts.”

Now, Dan just sounded miserable. There was something awkward about him, about the way he moved and spoke, like they’d travelled back in time to the first night they met.

It was only as he noticed this distinct difference in Dan’s behaviour that Phil realised how much more comfortable Dan had become around him. He rarely ever smoked weed anymore either, and though Phil hadn’t thought much about it before now, it suddenly occurred to him that maybe this was because Dan no longer felt the need for narcotics in order to relax out here.

“Sorry,” Phil said again, wincing as his epiphany dawned. “I don’t know where my phone is, to be honest. I’ve been pretty wrapped up in… something.”

Dan sighed, winding his arms around his waist a little tighter. He looked so forlorn all of a sudden, as though he’d shrunk two sizes. He had his head turned away a bit, but there was a glisten in his eye where the moonlight caught it.

Dan sniffed once, scrubbing briefly at his nose. “‘S cool.”

“Dan… I didn’t-”

“Forget it.” Dan said quickly, wiping at his eye. “It was stupid of me, anyway.”

“What was?”

Dan shrugged, and Phil felt a familiar well of despair rising within his chest. “Please tell me.”

Dan sighed, glancing at Phil once before dragging his eyes away. He brought his fingers to his mouth, chewing the nails. He didn’t seem to notice or care that they were all bitten back to their beds.

“Look, Phil…” Dan began, shoulders tensing. “I’m not a good choice for a friend.”

Phil frowned, disliking that comment immensely. “Well, that’s not for you to say. And I disagree, anyway.”

Dan snorted, shaking his head. “No, I’m serious. I’m… broken. Messed up, whatever you want to call it.”

“I don’t think that about you.”

“It’s not a matter of opinion.” Dan told him, bitterly. “I’ve had doctors write it into their reports. I’ve had psychiatrists ‘diagnose’ me a hundred times over. I have a cupboard full of happy pills and calm pills and stabilising pills. I’m a huge fucking mess of depression and anxiety and abandonment issues and self-destructive tendencies.”

Phil listened intently, hating that Dan had such a low opinion of himself, but also not wanting to interrupt him while he was venting. He wished he could draw Dan into a hug, but alas - the void between them was too literal for something like that.

“I get clingy.” Dan said, sounding embarrassed. “I don’t mean to. But I’m really fucking lonely, Phil, and I don’t get many people willing to… put up with me.”

“I’ll put up with you.” Phil told him gently, offering a kind smile.

Dan looked up at him, a tortured look in his eyes. “I know you want to. That’s kind of the problem.”

Phil frowned. “I don’t understand.”

“You’re really sweet for… trying to be my friend.” Dan told him slowly, his eyes getting all glisteny again. “Getting a text from you can honestly lift me out of a dark place. And when I see you out here, and I get to talk to you, even for a little while… it keeps me going sometimes. But I’m getting too dependent on it. It’s gotten to the point where my whole day revolves around talking to you, because it’s pretty much the only thing that makes me happy.”

Phil didn’t know what to say. Something bubbly and light shimmered through his body, as if Dan had injected sweet, fruity champagne straight into his bloodstream. These things that Dan was saying seemed so lovely; Phil couldn’t be prouder that he, somehow, had managed to be a light in Dan’s darkness just by… existing.

But there was something wrong, too. A fly in the flute of sparkling wine, spoiling it. Dan still looked so miserable, and Phil didn’t understand why.

“This weekend was… rough.” Dan told him, chewing another nail. “And when I couldn’t talk to you… couldn’t even get hold of you...”

Dan shook his head, and Phil’s heart sank to his knees. “Oh, God, Dan I’m sorry. I didn’t know-”

“No,” Dan interrupted. “Don’t be sorry. That’s what I’m saying. It’s not your responsibility to keep my spirits up. That’s not fair on you. I mean, we barely know each other. I’ve never even seen you anywhere but here.”

“We could-”

Dan shook his head, silencing Phil at once. “Just forget about me. Delete me from your phone, stop sending me cute selfies and pictures of pretty flowers. Let’s just go back to the start, right? I’m your weird recluse neighbour. You’re the cute guy I stare at through my curtains sometimes and wish I could talk to. Nothing else.”

Phil couldn’t believe what he was hearing. How had this conversation veered so dramatically downwards, and so fast? He struggled for words, trying to imagine what he might be able to say to change Dan’s mind.

“But… I like you.” Phil said eventually, sounding pathetic even to himself.

Dan smiled sadly at him. “Trust me, that wouldn’t have lasted long.”

Phil considered clambering up on his railing, attempting to leap across to Dan’s balcony in order to beg him to reconsider. Instead, his fear seized him in a paralysis, and he could only watch, helpless, as Dan edged away from the railing, gave Phil one last sad smile, and slipped back inside.

The sad piano music continued for three days straight. Phil thought hard about purchasing some earplugs, but he never did.

It might have been preventing him from getting enough sleep, and maybe his pansies suffered as a result - but the music was pretty. Besides, it was almost the only thing of Dan he had left, at that point.

Phil I accidentally murdered my pansies today :(

Phil I think they miss me taking photos of them to send to you. They’re camera whores.

Phil *They WERE camera whores. RIP.

This number cannot be reached any longer.

“So you never even got to give him his present?” PJ asked.

Phil shook his head glumly, staring at the gift in his hands.

“That’s too bad.” PJ told him, sounding sympathetic. “He would have really loved that.”

“How do you know?”

"Come on, Phil. You know it too.”

Are you sure you wish to purchase Retractable Ladder for £29.99?

Phil had been staring at this question for around thirty minutes. He sighed, took a sip of his beer, and pressed ‘yes’.

Oh well, Dan could hate him forever if he wanted. At least he would have tried.

Dan’s Saturday started pretty typically.

He woke up at twelve. He lay motionless in bed until one. Hunger forced him into the kitchen, where he made himself a nutritious breakfast of Liquorice Allsorts, the end of an almost stale baguette, and a handful of Coco Pops.

(He had always hated Liquorice Allsorts, and the taste lingered on his tongue, making him feel queasy.)

He scrolled through Tumblr for another hour, then dragged his exhausted body into the shower. He stayed in there far too long under the pleasant, warm drizzle, oblivious to the fact that while the water cascaded over his body, his ‘typical’ Saturday veered into unknown waters.

Dan stepped out of the shower and immediately put back on the same clothes he’d been wearing all day. Harem pants with a low swinging crotch, and a dark grey cotton tee in possibly the softest material known to man.

He was on his way back towards the bed, which was exactly as messy as he’d left it, when he noticed something moving on his balcony.

Sure it must be a burglar, Dan’s heart stopped, and he froze in alarm. He tried to remember where his phone was, and eventually concluded he must have left it in the bathroom. Not that he’d know who to call.

He’d really prefer not to ring his father for assistance, as that’d be too humiliating. He could hear his Dad’s voice now:

‘Can’t even drag your sorry ass out of bed to shoo off a fucking burglar! What kind of man can’t defend his own home, Dan?!’

Dan grimaced, shoving the voice into the back of his mind, as ever.

He crept forwards, wondering if perhaps he could alert Phil to the presence of an intruder somehow; his doors were always open, after all. But then, of course, Phil hadn’t spoken to him since…

‘Since you told him to fuck off, pretty much.’ Dan’s Dad’s voice supplies helpfully. ‘Way to go yet again, son. Another win. Scaring off the one decent, intelligent friend you’ve made in years.’

“Shut up,” Dan hissed to nobody.

He could still barely see anything through the slit between his curtains, but there was definite movement out there.

Feeling like he might faint from anxiety, Dan grabbed the nearest object he could see (a book of sheet music) and inched towards the doors. He hovered behind them, hidden by his curtains, feeling sick with nerves.

‘Stop being such a pussy, Daniel!’

“Fuck off, Dad.”

After five minutes of dithering, Dan realised that he’d just have to go for it. His phone was nowhere to be seen, and there was nobody coming to help. If he didn’t do something, he’d be the sad, sorry victim of a home invasion, having to explain to police that - mortifyingly - he’d been ‘too depressed’ to defend himself.

Taking an enormous breath in, Dan ripped open the curtains, pulled the double doors open, and raised the book high above his head. He tried to appear menacing and angry, gritting his teeth as he stepped out towards what was surely about to be his demise.

“Oh, crap!”

“Get the fuck off my-” Dan stopped mid-sentence, trying to register the sight before his eyes. “Phil?”

“Yes, Dan, it’s just me- please don’t hit me with that.”

Dan blinked at him, uncomprehending, and then remembered the large book in his hands. Slowly, he lowered the object, and Phil relaxed a little.

“You’re on my balcony.” Dan said, completely bemused.

This was weird. It felt like a dream, having Phil this close. There had always been an unbridgeable gap between them, slicing their lives apart. It’d always seemed like the space between their balconies was unbridgeable.

But Phil was stood right there, tangible and present in his thick-rimmed black glasses and bright yellow hoodie. It had the face of Jake from Adventure Time in the centre, Dan noticed, sort of wanting to smile.

“Um, yeah. I know it’s weird.” Phil said after a moment. “Sorry?”

“...How?”

Phil grimaced, reaching up to rub the back of his neck. “Um, the uh… the ladder.”

He pointed to the railing of the balcony, on top of which, Dan noticed, a ladder was resting, somewhat precariously. It stretched across from Phil’s balcony, over the enormous drop, to Dan’s.

Dan stared at it, his mouth falling open. “Don’t tell me you climbed across.”

Phil swallowed, neither confirming nor denying.

A silence fell between them; Dan genuinely could not think of a word to say.

“I know you don’t want to see me anymore.” Phil said, sounding pained. Dan shut his eyes, feeling the hurt little voice slice straight through his heart. “But I made you this. I thought it might… be nice to have it around. I dunno. I was just… trying to help.”

Dan frowned in confusion. “What’re you on about?”

Phil gestured to a space above Dan’s head. Perplexed, Dan tilted his head upwards, and gasped.

Above him, suspended by thin silver chains attached to a jutting piece of wood in the building wall, was an orb. It looked just like the ones Phil used to send him photos of, back when he still did that.

It was bigger than Dan’s head, and beautiful inside and out. Inside, a layer of rich, dark soil coated the very bottom, above which a layer of duck egg blue pebbles rested, peppered with pieces of coloured sea glass.

Flowers, the likes of which Dan had never seen, pushed up from these layers, extending tall and bright, winding around each other. Their hues ranged from ultraviolet to soft, powder blue, with hints of lime and forest greens here and there. Other plants had been included in the array, and Dan recognised some that he’d expressed his particular fondness for when Phil had shown him photos.

Ferns.

Rosemary.

Thistles.

Heather.

The sight of this beautiful orb began to blur, the colours blending together. At first, Dan wasn’t certain why, and then he realised his eyes were stinging with tears. He blinked, letting them fall down his cheeks without caring; he never wanted to look away.

“Phil…”

“You said you wanted a terrarium once,” Phil explained quickly, sounding a little embarrassed. “I know you think you can’t keep a plant alive, but this is one I’ve made for you, a self-regulating one, like my experiments, so you don’t even need to do anything.”

Phil moved a little, coming into Dan’s line of sight as he reached up to spin the orb around slowly, gazing inside with a satisfied smile.

“It’s only just been planted, so some of the plants aren’t quite at their best yet, but they’ll grow I swear, and-”

Dan’s body moved faster than his mind. He’d never have described himself as a spontaneous person, but he felt as though the last few minutes on this balcony had knocked him so far off orbit that his mind might have rewired itself entirely.

He stumbled forwards, careful not to knock the orb, and fell against Phil’s chest. His arms wound around Phil’s waist, and he gazed straight up into Phil’s round, surprised doe eyes.

Dan had never considered that he’d be so warm.

He felt like standing next to a flickering, marshmallow-melting fire on a deserted beach in the evening at summertime. He felt like a bright, exuberant sun, shedding light on all his mesmerising plants and flowers, encouraging them to bloom and grow.

Before Dan could stop himself, he leant in, his lips pushing into Phil’s despite every inch of his anxiety-soaked brain screaming at him that it was a bad idea.

Phil’s response was instant, and eager, but in the millisecond before, Dan felt a lifetime slip by, horrified by the surety he was about to face rejection.

Instead, Phil kissed him deeply, longingly, like he’d been starved of it for years. Like he’d been waiting for the chance to climb across the gap between them in a death-defying circus stunt and press himself against Dan since the day he moved in.

“Thank you,” Dan whispered against Phil’s lips, his arms tightening around Phil’s waist. “Thank you. I don’t know what to say.”

Phil leaned away a little, brushing the curls out of Dan’s eyes with a gentle, soft caress. Dan leaned into his touch, his eyes fluttering.

Phil’s eyes are so, astonishingly blue. He couldn’t tell, when there was still a chasm between them.

“I know it doesn’t make everything better.” Phil said. “I know you’re in pain, and that you don’t want me to see it or deal with it. But there’s a problem.”

“A problem?” Dan asked, feeling dazed.

He was very glad, suddenly, that Phil’s arms were wrapped around him too.

“Mhm,” Phil acknowledged, leaning in again. He pressed a soft, chaste kiss to Dan’s mouth, and Dan felt his knees weaken. “The problem is, I think I’m in love with you.”

Dan’s eyes flick open, astonished. “What? Phil, you don’t know me. I know I have rare, sweet flirty conversations with you, but most of the time I’m moody and sad and pathetic-”

Phil kissed him again, presumably to shut him up. “I don’t care. I don’t want to spend every day staring at your empty balcony anymore, wishing and waiting for you to emerge so I can spend a stolen moment with you.”

“But-”

“I want all of you, Dan.” Phil continued. “Every bit. Good and bad. I want to try and make you happy, and I want to hold you when you can’t be.”

A tear dripped off Dan’s chin, landing at his feet. “I think I must’ve dreamed you.”

Phil hummed happily, reaching up to brush the moisture from under Dan’s eyes. “Call it kismet, maybe.” 

Dan laughed, dizzy with euphoria. Belatedly, a stray thought brushes into his mind. 

“Wait, did you crawl across that ladder holding the terrarium?”

“Look, okay... you blocked my number, you wouldn’t see me-”

“Phil?”

“...Yeah?”

“I think I love you too.”

[writers-leir]

soulmate!soonyoung

guess who got a huge burst of inspiration during class today!!!

soulmate!soonyoung where whatever your soulmate draws appears on you as well

you love drawing

ever since you were like 4 you’d been drawing

on the walls, on the sidewalk, on paper, and on your skin

and soonyoung grew up with the little drawings appearing on his skin from seemingly nowhere

it started off with little doodles of stick figures which then evolved into scribbly flowers and patterns

and now that he’s in seventeen his soulmate has started to draw complete landscapes with details he’d never consider

if he looked hard enough, he’d even be able to see the waves moving and the trees rustling and even the birds taking in deep breaths before letting out its song

he’s always so proud of his soulmate he’d show off to the rest of the team like jun!!!!!!!!!!!!!look !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!when is your soulmate ever going to be this talented!!!!!!!!!!!!!

you on the other hand never really like what you draw

there always seems to be something wrong with the drawing

whether it be because you drew one feather more round than the other or because you added one more line to the tree trunk than necessary

honestly you always find something wrong with your drawings no matter how often your friends tell you that you’re the best artist they know

you assume it’s just the artist in you

even your professor is like “you have the skill you just need to be more confident with what you draw”

one day you’re having a particularly bad day

you needed a model for your mid-year project but they bailed on you last minute

and now you need to find another model and finish the painting in three weeks and you’re super stressed

when you get home you realize that there are some scribbles on your arm

“are you okay????????????”

turns out your soulmate is so used to seeing your drawings on his arm every day that when you failed to draw something he got worried

your heart kind of swells because awe,,,,,,,,that’s so sweet,,,,,,,,,, :’^)

you tell soonyoung what happened and he’s like awe ): i’m sorry i wish there was something i could do for you ):

he talks to you until the sun rises the next day and you’re like omg,,,,,,,,i’m so sorry i didn’t realize time had passed so quickly

he wishes you luck as you start getting ready for your classes and the next thing he knows, he’s asleep in the dance studio with empty pens scattered around him

seungcheol scolds him for a good ten minutes about falling asleep with the air conditioner on but he’s honestly not listening

(probably too busy thinking about you)

you talk to your professor that day and they’re totally understanding of the situation

turns out your model actually had bailed on various art major students several times

(they apparently once bailed on their best friend the week before a major film festival)

your professor gives you an extra week to try and find a model

now that you have time you feel so relaxed compared to the night before you decide to go to a cafe off campus and treat yourself to a latte and a treat

inside the cafe you start doodling on your arm again

you draw little details from the cafe such as the indoor garden they have in the innermost corner or the bookshelves stacked to the brim

but there’s still something wrong and you still can’t figure out what

so you decide to stop for the day and just enjoy your treats

you get home and realize that underneath your drawings are scribbles from your soulmate and you’re like !!!!!!!!!!!!!! super excited to talk to him even though you don’t even know his name

he asks you how you’re doing and you’re like i’m!!!!!!!!!!actually doing great my professor gave me an extra week!!!!!!!!!

and he gets so excited for you his handwriting gets even messier and it’s so cute

you two officially introduce each other and you’re like i’ve,,,,,,,definitely heard the name kwon soonyoung somewhere,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

and you’re stuck trying to figure out where you’ve heard his name from until one day you’re talking with your friend who’s a dance major and they’re like !!!!!!!!!!!!!!kwon soonyoung????????as in hoshi from seventeen????????????my dance idol!??!?!is your souLmaTE???????????

you’re sitting in front of them at the cafeteria like oh,,,,,,that’s where i heard his name from,,,,,,,,,,lmao,,,,,,,,

you tell soonyoung about you friend who idolizes him that night and he gets so embarrassed

“are you sURE they were talking about mE and not minghao or someone”

“no no i’m absolutely sure they called you hoshi”

soonyoung starts freaking out about it and you’re like hEY who’s soulmate are you

the next thing he asks you throws you off completely

“why do you not like your drawings?”

and you’re sitting there like wait,,,,,,,,,,,i’ve never told you about that,,,,,,,,,,and that was quite the change of topic,,,,,,,

you ask him what the question is about and you can literally picture him shrug as he starts writing again

“i’ve seen a lot of angry scribbles on my arm and you know,,,,,,,,most people only do that when they get frustrated”

you tell him that you just never liked your art and how there always seems to be something wrong with it no matter how many times you redraw it and how many styles you’ve tried

“but your drawings are amazing!!!! you have no idea how many times i’ve shown off your art to my teammates this month!!!”

you’re internally screaming like,,,,,,,,,is my art really so amazing that he’s shown,,,,,,,,,all his group members,,,,,,,,

he continues writing but his handwriting is so small you’re like squinting,,,,,,,,,

“maybe you should stop drawing for yourself,,,,,,,,”

and you’re super confused about this statement like who else would you draw for?

“you could draw for me instead”

you feel the blood rushing to your face like aksjhdgkjldsLSKAJDGSDA how is he so CHEESY

you don’t know how to reply other than agreeing because????????what else do you say??? no???????

after that though everything seems to run by extremely smoothly

you found another model, finished the painting in less than two weeks, and handed it in before everyone else in your class

and you’ve even stopped trying to find something wrong with your artwork all the time

you focus more on the compliments and suggestions you receive from soonyoung and it feels like a weight has been completely lifted off your shoulders

one day as you’re sitting in your go-to cafe, you notice someone walking in wearing a cap and sunglasses and you’re like but it’s,,,,,,,,,raining,,,,,,,,,,,,,,?

they order and then take a seat nearby you

you shrug it off like whatever people can wear whatever they want

you go back to doodling on your skin

and you notice the person is also writing on their arm but you don’t take much notice of it because soonyoung’s talking with you

until you take a closer look at the person’s arm and realize,,,,,,,,it’s covered in your doodles

and the person’s also noticed your arm

and you two stare at each other like,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,wait,,,,,,,,,that person’s my soULmate

he instantly jumps out of his seat and slides into the chair in front of you and you’re like ajksdghkasdljg wAIt i’m still processing

he shoves his hand towards you while taking off his glasses and you’re like ahdjsgkdalsg he’s,,,,,,,really attractive,,,,,,,,,,

you take his hand and shake it and then the both of you are just sitting there still processing

you speak up first much to your own surprise

“thank you,,,,,,for cheering me on,,,,,,,,,i know i didn’t support you a lot but,,,i’m extremely grateful for your encouragement,,,”

he grins and you’re like ajdhgkalsjgdsg he’s so cute what the frick

“thank you for your concern too!!!!!!! i know you’ve had an extremely stressful month”

and you feel lowkey bad because he’s an idol,,,,,,,,he’s probably way more busy than you are but he still manages to comfort you about being stressed,,,,,,

you two kind of sit there just enjoying the silence and each other’s presence until you notice the time and you’re like,,,,,i loved meeting you but,,,,,,i have to go i have an essay due tomorrow for my contemporary art course,,,,,,,,

soonyoung’s like oh of course!! i’ll walk you back :))))))))

and you’re like you don’t have to,,,,,i know that you have things to do too

but he’s like nOnsense i’m walking you back. i’m not scared of jihoon

he says that but you can see him paling at the thought of lee jihoon and his guitar

he ends up walking you back to your dorms anyways and you’re like thank you,,,,,,,i’ll see you around?

but then he’s like wAiT i don’t have your number,,,,,,,,,,

you exchange numbers and when you get inside your room you’re like should i,,,,,,,,,send him a message?

ten minutes later you finally send him a simple “good luck with practice!”

and he sends you like 812357125 heart emojis back and you’re like ajhsdkglasdg he’s so intense,,,,,,but i like it,,,,,,,,,,,,

he starts sending you photos of him with the rest of seventeen or derp photos of his teammates and you’re like pftttt soonyoung you’re gonna get yourself killed one day

you get a series of photos one day

the first one is soonyoung holding a sharpie in his hand with jihoon sleeping in the background

the second one is jihoon’s sleeping face covered in drawings (rip his soulmate,,,,,,)

the third one is soonyoung taking a selfie with jihoon who’s eyes are opened,,,,,,,rip kwon soonyoung 1996-2017,,,,,,,,,,

you open the fourth one and it’s a picture of vernon with his hands up in a peace sign

and in the background is your soulmate being sat on by an extremely angry jihoon who’s gotten hold of the sharpie

you instantly call him like nOOoooOo doN’t DrAW ON HIM JIHOON PLS I HAVE AN INTERVIEW IN TEN MINUTES,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

jihoon let him off that time (“only because i like your soulmate better” “whAT do you mean jihoon we’re TEAMMATES. I’VE SEEN YOU IN THE SHOWER” “that’s,,,,,,,disgusting,,,,,,,,,”) but soonyoung left that fight with more than a few bruises

you’ve stopped getting frustrated with your drawings and soonyoung thinks it’s because you’ve started to become more comfortable with it but in all honesty it’s because you’re really drawing for him,,,,,,,,shhh don’t tell him that he’ll never let you live if he finds out