#drawn at 2 am bc of a dm i got from my friend
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dailymedkit · 3 months ago
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Day 43
Fucked up lookin cat
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inflatingnblue · 2 months ago
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worried anon here again, but off anon this time bc fuck it, and also if we can’t be open about shit on our kink blogs, where can we??? 💜
I’ve felt and seen how seductive an ED can be; besides my own history of disordered eating and dysmorphia, the love of my life struggles with pretty serious anorexia, and it kills me to watch her be drawn back in again and again by this terrible thing that our culture only perpetuates, even now that she’s years into recovery. When she was at her worst, when she had almost convinced herself that the ED was “working,” she was so miserable and exhausted and listless and angry all the time, and she still hated her body to the point of suicidality. The weight she lost didn’t fix any of it, but it did make her incredibly hard to be around and made her life feel so small that she didn’t want to live it anymore. It makes me sick that the world we live in would rather we hurt and hate ourselves over and over again, systematically denying ourselves the nutrients we need to live, in order to make us think we’re doing right by our bodies and that people will think we’re beautiful. I’m sure you’ve heard all this kind of thing before, just as my fiancée has, from therapists and partners and friends and family and doctors, but I know from my experience that it’s easier to actually start to hear it when you’re not also exposing yourself to pro-ED voices. When I was in high school and at my most mentally ill, I had a whole secret blog where I posted and reblogged self-harm content, so I genuinely do get how that can make you feel less alone. When you’re at your lowest, the most important thing is to not isolate yourself, even if that means you’re in some darker online spaces. Obviously you can and should like whatever posts you want on here, and me and your other followers can easily protect ourselves by blocking pro-ana tags — I guess I just wanted you to know that someone who doesn’t even know you is genuinely worried about you, and hates to see you unable to see how beautiful and valuable you are.
I get the relapsing stuff too; I hadn’t restricted in almost 10 years, but then last December I went through some major life/career/medication changes and gained like 30 lbs in a couple of months, and all the ED and SH voices came right back. The best things I’ve done for myself since then are the simple ones: 1) remind myself that if it was my fiancée feeling this way I would be endlessly telling her how beautiful she is, 2) try to remember that gaining weight isn’t a moral or health failure and is actually a natural part of getting older, and 3) buy myself some cute new underwear and comfy new pants so I didn’t feel horrible every time I tried to get dressed for the day. It’s taken months, and in the mean time I got a new job, this weird old kink of mine resurfaced (possibly as a coping mechanism? idk man, the human brain is wild), and I yanked myself back into a healthier relationship with food and mirrors, but it was and continues to be fucking HARD.
Long story not-so-short, I am really proud of you for making it this far. I am proud of you for being here, and I am proud of every time you push back against those voices, alluring as they might be. Recovery is the toughest, weirdest thing, but it is so worth it. I hope your husband is loving on you lots, I hope you had a wonderful Halloween looking adorable in your Violet costume, and I hope you’ll reach out if you ever need someone to talk to. I’m leaving this as an ask bc I don’t wanna risk making you feel uncomfortable, but feel free to DM me instead of posting/answering it publicly if you’d rather.
💜💜💜
Hello Not So Anon Anymore,
I appreciate you reaching out again and for sharing some of your and your fiancee's stories. One thing I find helpful is hearing about other people's experiences, even if it's not ED related. Hearing how someone has fought and struggled and conquered is good inspiration that maybe not all is lost.
To be honest, I was taken aback by your first ask. When I started reading I was like this person is leaving a compliment, which took a left turn. Not a bad left turn, just an unexpected one. It made me face what I had been doing and it was a good example of how personal struggles don't only affect you.
Oof, I totally understand that crankiness and feeling irritated. I've snapped at people when not meaning to. When you've got a constant stream of thoughts bombarding you it can be easy to lose it, not that it's okay to do so.
Like you said isolation is no bueno. Thinking about my relapse, I did isolate. I'd think maybe I can reach out to a friend, but then I'd stop myself. They've got a lot going on and it always seems like something is wrong when I connect with them, how annoying of me, what a burden. I noticed that no one reached out to me. Not that I was expecting anyone to reach out, but usually friendships go both ways. Both people contact each other and no one did. My ED was like "see, they don't even like you." And that only made the isolation worse.
I also didn't talk to my husband because he had a lot going on and I didn't want to him to try to impede my "progress." Of course I finally told him after several months. He was upset because I wasn't talking to anyone about it, and I don't blame him for feeling that way. Who wouldn't want their significant other to be healthy?
The interesting thing is I was big and I was experiencing symptoms that someone would assume an underweight person faced. I was lightheaded a lot. There were times I wasn't near anything to hold on to so I would crouch to the floor. (I even had a dream of it happening out in public. Tried to will myself to keep walking, but eventually crouched down because I didn't want to fall.) I've never been that lightheaded ever, but I didn't lose much weight when I was younger which is why I never experienced that before. I was scared that my symptoms were increasing in frequency, but at the same time it was a sign that it was "working." I eventually fainted one night. I've never fainted and it was so scary. I didn't even know I had fainted when I first woke up. I literally thought I had somehow fallen out of bed. My memory came back quickly and I couldn't believe I had fainted. Me, overweight, had fainted? I always associated that with those who were underweight, who were actually sick, who actually looked the part of an anorexic. But something that the general population don't seem understand is that it doesn't matter your weight or size - EDs don't discriminate. Starving is starving, regardless of size the body needs energy and when you deplete it the body will respond like a car without gas. It will breakdown.
Also, I totally agree that paying more attention to the bloating and such is a coping mechanism. In a way I think I'm trying to beat "it" first. Like making fun of myself first before someone else can. Making myself big before recovery or my lipedema can. I wish this wasn't such a mind fuck.
I really appreciate your kind words of encouragement. Being vulnerable is challenging and it's brave you decided to not be Anon this time. And same - reach out to talk, even if you'd like to unpack what's going on with your fiancee. I really hope everything works out for you both. 💙
Thanks again.
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coolpolarbear123 · 3 years ago
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Band Camp Day 4
I'm sore in muscles that I didn't even know I had. Which is saying something since I took a 300-level anatomy class last semester
August 18th, 2021
<< 4 >>
this is,,, late:
Forgive me, I know how late this is, but band camp got hectic really fast, and then classes started, and I'm trying to do these now while I remember
today's senior prank: plastic wrapping the tower. It went very well
when rehearsal started, our band director immediately said that he was taking the two drill instructor librarians to make pregame drill copies, so that's where I went
we learned how to copy drill, and apparently we missed the snake, which was a huge thing last year (bc piccs started and dominated it)
and we missed step-2 drill, which I'm completely okay with
tho when the drill instructors demonstrated it, apparently my SL had to go up in my place so that it'd be an even amount of people, which I'm actually okay with bc that makes sense, and it's not ML2
i mean what
anyway, back in the copy room, my accomplice and I were counting how many drill charts each section needed, then labelling the sections with sticky notes. I drew a bear on each sticky note
THAT REMINDS ME
I drew a lot of bears yesterday, and none of them stuck for more than two hours. it's been a really hot and sweaty week
oh also our band director mentioned that he's leaving for a funeral tomorrow night?
anyway, about an hour and a half later (10am), we returned to the field and handed out drill
the drill instructors were then called to go get numbers (basically we each get a number, and the drill instructors are told which numbers are for which section)
and I guess everyone was talking about the bears? bc my DI got up there and was like "wait, you guys are getting bears?" and then showed the piccolo sticky note, which reads "diccalos" with a drawing of a penis
that penis is poorly drawn and captioned "this is clearly a pair of scissors"
the mello DI took a picture he thought it was so funny, which has been fueling my serotonin levels
and!! people kept mentioning that they liked the bears! I was very excited about it
we learned the first half of pregame. I got the same spot as last year, surprisingly. And I'm next to more piccs, which is also really cool
the drumline's been facing a lot of issues with not knowing what number of people should go on which instrument bc things keep getting switched around by various people
this caused a lot of confusion on the field when there were 6 snares but only 5 charted snare parts
and our band director was NOT happy about it. He kept saying useless stuff like "it seems like you found a place, just use that" and other things like that
one of my good friends is on drumline and she cried. Apparently her drill instructor was really close to crying too
lunch time/passport to campus (a thing that helps people check in and does not apply to me since I live off campus and am a senior)
although we did get lunch from 12-3 because of that. I had time to shower, which was so nice
I currently am drenched in sweat as I type this, tho, so it does sorta feel like it was for nothing
the clarinets started sitting with us, and our freshman is talking to their freshmen, which is really good bc she needs friends who aren't just seniors. I'm very excited
okay but also during lunch we heard some CRAZY tea like. There's this sophomore clarinet player who wanted to get with this sophomore drumline dude and they were this close but APPARENTLY she has chlamydia like wtf and then he blocked her on all social media they had each other on?? and then she kept trying to add him on everything?
AND the drumline is recruiting, so she's like "imma switch to drumline" so yikes @ the drumline good luck
we had outdoor playing rehearsal since we can't be in the band room and ig the previous room we were using is now being occupied by people returning to campus or smthn idk
also the music librarians asked one of the old librarians for help with something EVEN THOUGH us drill librarians knew how to do it so um
we started playing songs that we're gonna do in our first halftime show, and the key signature on the first one is funky, so he had us play that scale, and the piccs sounded so bad that he relocated us so that we could spend time tuning
well the problem was that one of us was playing the wrong scale so yes i'm sure we sounded out of tune
but then we had to tune everyone, then we did it note by note, and then half an hour later we rejoined the band
our band director was like "some of them are smiling, some... aren't" that was awkward
and then we played some more, and at one point he's like "drumline only play this" and then they did, and we politely, softly, clapped
emphasis on SOFTLY and the band director got mad because we shouldn't congratulate them for not being good
like jesus fuck give the drumline a break
and then to top it off, we didn't even get sectionals. the closest we got to sectionals was the piccs tuning
there's also this random man who's standing with our band director, but the kick is that I know who this random man is
my friend from drumline said that her old band director was coming to be our sub while our band director was away for the funeral
sure enough, we got the intro. he's our sub, he's taught 7 people in the band, etc, etc, alumni of my uni, played sousa, etc etc
then we had dinner, which was the last free meal we got for band camp. The pickings were slim, but it was all fine. the other drill librarian didn't sit with the piccs and that was mmmmmm bc I get that she's trying to be an Older Sister to one of the fish clarinets but pls sit with your section
Then we were back outside for more marching rehearsal, where we learned the rest of pregame, marching AND playing. Which like. Yeah, that's pretty on track for a normal band camp? Usually it's good by Thursday and today is Wednesday, so not bad!
I'm mostly worried because two years ago, we didn't do a lot of pregame during band camp and he got angry during the season when we didn't know it very well like
maybe you should have stuck to your normal schedule
also I fckn hate the pregame song. Hooray for Hollywood can suck my rectum
our band director said we might do halftime drill tomorrow? which means the other drill librarian and I have more to print? maybe? tomorrow morning?
our fifth year DI was noncompliant! for the first time in five years! our DM made sure the band knew that
also two other piccs haha. picc party in the noncompliance
half the band was noncompliant which kinda... wasn't fun bc it takes the purpose out. It's not as humiliating when everyone's doing it with you
it's kinda bc the mellos are doing the thing that the trombones do, where when one is noncompliant, everyone is, and personally I think that should Only be a trombone thing
it's better and funnier when only one section does it
after singing the alma mater and fight song, we flash mobbed dance again
the after band camp stuff was trivia night, which didn't have a huge turn out, but it was fun. I learned that I HATE one of the clarinet freshmen.
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muggle-writes · 6 years ago
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11 questions
tagged by @writergurll
1. What is your favourite writing quote?
I.... don't collect quotes. I could Google one right now but that's not the same because I won't feel any long-term connection to it. but my favorite writing advice derived from a quote is the equivalent of "you miss 100% of the shots you don't take" because you can't edit words that aren't there. write and keep writing, it can be good later, now you just want there to be enough words to work with
2. What is the name of your childhood favourite book?
Hmm Ender's Game was a favorite. as were the Harry Potter books.
3. When did you start writing?
the first time I wrote a story and cared about it, not just because it was required for class, was probably 7th grade? but I've been crafting stories to lull myself to sleep with for years, at least as young as 3rd grade. and now a solid half of my writing process is zoning in to that same narrated imaginationland that I tell my bedtime stories from, and crafting the story in a similar way (the thing with actually writing it down later is, now it does matter whether the story is self-consistent.)
4. Do you listen to music when you write?
usually, yeah. I have found what works best for me is putting on soundtracks from video games I haven't played. video game music is designed to be played on repeat, to complement but not distract from a task. and if it's music from video games I haven't played, then I don't get distracted remembering what I loved about the game. (the times I don't listen to music it's usually because everything is too distracting. music is too distracting, silence is too distracting, the surface I'm sitting upon is too distracting... on those days I get a cold drink and write in silence and hope and pretend I'm a functional writer. alternately I was so ready to write I put in my headphones and got in the zone and wrote 4 pages before I realized I was still listening to silence)
5. Who is your favourite character to write?
oooh, good question.
I like to write observant characters, because whether or not they're correct in their observations, it forces me to think about how truths can be misconstrued or hidden, or whether they're obvious to all or just to those who look. It also gives me an excuse to over-describe everything, when the character is observant enough to notice and mentally comment on all the details I want to add.
but also I like writing any characters when I have a strong sense of their voice, enough to be confident that I'm writing them in character
6. How do you come up with names for your characters?
I write a lot of fanfiction which makes names mostly a moot question, but when I am actually generating character names, I've got a few methods:
for a fantasy universe with names that resemble American names but aren't actually recognizable, I kinda just babble gibberish that also sounds vaguely like names until something sounds right. Then I repeat it a few times to make sure it still sounds right, and modify if needed. (...often I realize weeks or months later that a name sounds like something else and I'm surprised with myself for not noticing the similarity and then I second guess the character's name. once I wound up with a character whose name turned out to be the brand on the water fountains at my school.)
if I'm writing vaguely modern English or white-American names, I'll go through names I know and try them out, filtering by how pretentious the name sounds against family background.
and when I have to come up with names with other backgrounds I'll use baby naming websites or lists of "25 most common names in [country]
7. What’s your favourite book?
heck that's a really good question. I like lots of books. usually whatever I'm reading at the time is my "favorite" unless it's awful.
idk if I have a permanent favorite book, but the Harry Potter, Belgariad, Xanth, Pern, and Ender series all really shaped my sense of storytelling
8. What is your favourite part of writing?
either when I have a great idea and I get it down on paper/into a document before that initial burst of inspiration fades, or seeing people's reactions to my work, or occasionally just rereading something I wrote months or years prior and just enjoying it as much then as I did at first.
9. Who is a writer you look up to?
As much as I don't like his politics, I have been really drawn into nearly everything I've read of Orson Scott Card's (if I was old enough to Get It. tbh most of the Ender sequels went over my head bc I read them too young). and that's something I aspire to, to be so skillful, and to weave such a compelling story, that even people who want to dislike me are willing to kinda ignore that and forget it and pick up something I wrote just because my name's on it so they trust it to be good
10. Which genre is favourite to read?
when I was younger I liked both fantasy and sci fi pretty equally, but even though they can overlap, the tone is so different between the genres that I tend to prefer fantasy
11. How did you come up with your current wip?
lol which one? all my current wips are fanfiction (the last original piece I had half a plot for, I outlined and then abandoned during high school). usually I'll watch an episode or a movie and come away imagining "what if..." and if I get enough of a divergence from the original and I still feel strongly that I think it's worth writing, I'll start writing it up. I've started pieces because they were happening in my imaginationland and I wanted to force the scenes to be completed. occasionally I let a character (OC or fandom) work through a crisis I'm trying to pretend isn't happening in my own life. Several of my crossovers are inspired by "those characters should interact, it would be funny/drama-prone/intriguing/etc" (eg Julie Kwan & Hermione Granger: more-than-competent, sarcastic, academic friends. sounds excellent. OACET agent & Jodie Starling: time for (supposedly ex-)FBI shenanigans and Conan can be the one out of the loop for once. just things like that that sound like something interesting will happen) sometimes it's based on fandom commentary I've read (what if the Dursleys died instead and Lily and James raised Dudley) or just straight up "write the thing you want to read" (my long wip right now is because I got hooked on a trope and few of the fics were complete and none of them contained twists I thought would fit so I'm writing my own).
inspiration comes from lots of places and then it all kinda gets filtered through "what do I spend more than a single afternoon polishing in imaginationland?" and what survives is usually what I write.
anyway I'm not organized enough to have a taglist. I imagine I'm supposed to tag 11 people? but maybe @knightbusofdoom or @elizabethsyson to answer questions? no pressure.
and anyone else that wants can either do it and tag me or dm me and I'll edit you in so you're properly tagged
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elvnch-blog · 7 years ago
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me waving at all of u from a safe distance bc i’m.. terrified,, askdfjghs jkjk !!
hi there !! i’m maren – nineteen, she/her, from the gmt+2 timezone. uhm,, i’m hyperaware that this blog is,, unfinished and empty (( yeet )) but i am Working On It !! in the mean time i’ll put the template thingy from his app and some bullet points abt my mans ezra under the cut, and link his BIO and his STATS (( this page isn’t done,, soz abt it )) disclaimer though; his bio is long. n i know you’re reading this, thinking like ‘ huh...... ok ’ but belieb me – it is long and it is a Mess... ajhfda u may now consider yourself Warned. but enough of this !! i cannot wait to get to know all of u and your amazing muses, so pls don’t hesitate to hmu on here or on discord !! n if you’re like ‘ naah dude, too much work ’ but you still wanna plot n be friends, then like this post n i’ll slide right into your dms !! 
triggers: death
hey, i didn’t know NICK ROBINSON had moved to st. clementine ! oh wait, that’s just EZRA LYNCH. the 23 year old CISMALE is a BARTENDER and rumor has it that HE dreams of MAKING A NEW LIFE FOR HIMSELF. i heard a tarot reader once claimed their card was THE MAGICIAN, which makes sense considering their CHARMING yet DELUDING ways. wonder what this town has in store for them ?
so yeah, this is ezra – his parents figured that mayhaps a child could save their marriage n that’s why he,, exists ?? asjdfa (( spoiler alert; didn’t work out n they got divorced when he was like,, fourteen ))
ig you could say he was spoiled as a child; his parents never let him want for anything. but they fought a lot, and neither of their hearts were really in it to bring up a child, so ezra never got the attention he wanted or the affection he craved, i.e. no one tucked him into bed, no one helped him w his homework, no one held him when he was scared or sick or tired etc.
so what did lil attention starved ezra do, you ask ?? he used his bright head and his charismatic personality to charm people to their knees. once he started school he made friends w all his friends’ parents, and had standing invitations to dinners and family game nights and the like. the attention he didn’t get at home, he sought out elsewhere.
he was like twelve or smthn when he got into sleight of hand magic after falling in love w it while at a magic show, seeing how mesmerized the audience where. he too wanted to drawn people in like that, and make magic happen before their eyes.
in high school he made friends w everyone by telling stories that weren’t lies, just twisted and tweaked to make them prettier and more interesting. he also made a name for himself by pulling out some coins or a deck of cards at parties, making it a side hustle to let people who were sure they’d figured out how he did his tricks put their money where their mouth was.
ezra scored a scholarship to an out of state university and peaced tf out of his hometown. at college his stories got bigger and more golden and felt more like lies, but he earned his in w every crowd and even if someone didn’t know him, they knew off him. 
the first term of his third year, both his parents passed away. none of his friends could recognize the boy he became over the span of those months. they were used to the flashy and eccentric ezra, always smiling and cracking jokes and making light of every situation. so when he didn’t reach out to them, they didn’t reach out to him either.
after the aftermath of his parents’ deaths were sorted out, and he’d declined his university’s offer to come back, ezra decided that he wanted to disappear. his vanishing act took the form of using a chunk of the substantial amount of money left to him by his parents to buy an appartment in an old beach town in england, and a one way ticket out of america.
in st. clementine he got a job as a bartender, and slipped into his old ways of drawing people in w a smile and then wrapping them up in shining stories that weren’t really lies.
tl;dr: ezra lynch is a fake ass hoe w some cheap magic tricks up his sleeve who runs away from his problems and he is in desperate need of a hug !!!!!!
this sucked fr just like,, skim through his stats and bio asdkjfa i’ll see myself out
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miladymiss · 3 years ago
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A bit of an art dump for the end of the year. I've slowly been getting better at this whole drawing thing and it makes me so happy. Younger!Me had always dreamed of being able to translate images from my head to the page and I'm slowly reaching the point where oh my gosh. They're actually starting to look pretty ok.
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TINY BLURBS FOR EACH BELOW THE CUT BC WHY NOT
1) Another Vanya in my portfolio. She takes up most of my character brainspace and thus most of my drawing efforts. I might make a post later showing my progression entirely in drawings of her because that's legit where you can see 90% of the evolution this year came from. This one is the latest I made and also isn't finished, but it is the best so far so. //Ta-Da Motion//
This is my first experiment with half-body in a While. I've always been semi-terrified of drawing the human figure because I'm Really Bad At It. But I figured, if I never start then how will I get anywhere?
2) This snazzy man is an NPC by our dear DM @intensesargasm. He goes by the name of Velmier. I (and by extension Vanya) am notorious for forgetting names and so it's partly a miracle and partly thanks to the fact that I have a soft spot for suave, pretty elf bois that I remembered his. Another half body and a very very sincere attempt at drawing clothes with Folds and Creases and all the other things that make clothes a pain to draw. I'm still stupidly happy with how his hand turned out.
3) This is Sorrel, Vanya's missing bff. Are they more that just friends? Who knows; Vanya certainly doesn't! I gave the girl a smidge too much denseness. He's a sun elf paladin who serves Vandria Gilmadrith and if I told you the first half of this sentence was made up on the spot in-game I would not be lying but also I doubt you'd believe me because:
1) Sun elves are apparently one of the few elven races who lean toward taking up the mantle of paladin; the others are more prone to chaotic alignments and thus are not drawn to the lifestyle/dogma of most paladins.
2) Vandria Gilmadrith is one of the few elven gods who isn't in fact of chaotic alignment. She's known as an elven goddess with few elven followers because of their freespirited natures. I chose her because she was the first elven war god I saw on the wiki.
And 3) Vandria is described as a goddess with white wings and white hair that she often wears as a braid doES THAT SOUND FAMILIAR?? (She's also part(?) drow so they aren't exactly alike but considering all this was coincidental is crazy.)
ANYWAY BACK TO THE DRAWING. Drawing just the head again after agonizing over half for forever was absolutely delightful, and it took me way less time than I expected. I'm pretty sure I went from rough sketch to whatever state this is in less than four hours, which is short for me. I played with a new technique here where I just blotched colors over the lineart and adjusted accordingly instead of painstakingly following my lineart to the letter and correcting when something went wrong. It gave a lot of freedom for editing.
Yea that's prettymuch all I got haha. Sorry for the long ramble, but I like talking and I figured as long as everything was below the cut people wouldn't get too mad. Have a good day, folks!
I'M SORRY I SAID TINY BLURBS AND THESE AREN'T TINY 😭
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theday · 7 years ago
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anyways, ill say bye now... i hope ure well rested and have a good day!! (wait, i remember what i wanted to ask!! at least i think this is what i wanted to ask? anywys, do u know what u want to do now that ure finished w school? if u dont mind me asking, of course, i understand if u think its a bit personal!) ok, now im done, have a good day!! take care and stay hydrated!! (and now i really did send u a bunch of asks..)
omg i hope u dont mind but ill be answering the stuff from ur last ask here (the one where i… deleted everything) under cut bc itll be 2x longer now
so first !!!!! how i got into kpop!!! it was thanks to my good pal (@.briwoon) boxy! i follow her on twitter and despite her being a day6 stan twt i had her unmuted anyway bc.. after years of being an anime blog on tumblr and seeing all my anime mutuals slowly converting into kpop blogs one by one i was able to filter the kpop out of my brain?? smth like that since back then i wasnt into kpop and i didnt want to unfollow since im mutuals with most of them :-0 
another backstory - i was one of those people who never saw themselves getting into kpop? and i think the main reason was bc i thought liking kpop would make u seem lame?? due to the influence from people around me?? but as years went by and as my mutuals changed interests it stopped bothering me and that mindset kind of just? faded away bc who am i to call other people’s happiness bad?? but despite being okay with it i never really made the move to get into any groups lmao that was until i got tired of my interest at that time (seiyuu, japanese voice actors) and my interests would always. not last?? idk so maybe thats why i didnt want to get invested but it happened regardless 
anyway usually i wouldnt take notice of her rts but this . this beautiful man with orange hair and minion glasses caught my eye when i was scrolling through my timeline and i was like o worm? oh mu god? hes beautiful? so i slid into her dms and asked her whomst the beautiful man was and she sent me all their mvs after that from congratulations to i smile (the most recent mv at that time, late june) for me to watch :-D now at that time, from what little knowledge i had of kpop.. i understood that groups would be singing and dancing so i was prepared to see some sick moves or smth?? but then. i clicked on miss i smile and my wig flew off? bc… wtf.? they were playing instruments???? and they sounded good ??? so i was like oh my god? a band??????
before day6 i also had (have) a preference for bands and the way their music sounds so i was like?? ready to just. get on board yknow?? i watched how can i say and i saw the lanky noodle wearing glasses and i was like o fuck mu life? i caved and asked boxy for their names and other information and best decision of my life bc.. they really make me happy!!! after that like the day after ? myabe they did a vlive and i was like o shit? what do i do… so i downloaded the vapp and wowie i love it? its my second home…… i watched every vlive they had at that time and i thought that was a lot… (it isnt, compared to mx) and i was just rly content??
(ok i know u asked for kpop and not … day6 or other groups bc im gonna talk abt how i got into mx and astro too bc…… how can i Not.. u can skip this part tho i just wanna ramble abt my loves? ill tell u when u can continue)
that was peak happiness for me at that time.. until… boxy started talking about monsta x in our groupchat (with @.tokayhk) and she would just ramble abt this kihyun fella (who i vaguely knew bc my real life friend likes him and mx and i bought her his pc before along with the guilty clan part 2) so i was like hmm interesting… and honestly? i wasnt going to get into monsta x i really wasnt planning on asking her abt them (since i was scared id lose interest in day6 right after) but then.. she started linking videos and i .. my resolve crumbled down as i heard monsta x yelling and … this beautiful cover (which boxy sent to show us how powerful kihyuns vocals are but i was 2 focused on mister aka minhyukku) and she told us how funny these monsta men are and i was like o h no…………….. eventually one day in late august i asked her to tell me more about these monstas…… aftert that i watched every mxray episode (starting from season 2 bc i dont know 1 comes before 2) and even though i didnt know anyone who was on screen except jooheon i found it really funny and?? it made me laugh so much i love mx?? ya… boxys kind of like my guardian angel?? shes really the reason im living tbh… introducing me to all these lovely people?? thank u miss boxy i love u
now. for the astrosus….. they were a bit different.. because i didnt have boxys help and they were the first group i took interest in solely bymyself so i knew i was in for a wild ride (at first, i couldnt even differentiate brian from sungjin in day6 lmao) after stanning monsta x and day6 i became more?? open to kpop and i started watching unhelpful guides on youtube bc . they were funnie and idk its nice??/ and i stumbled upon the astro one (which wasnt that funny but more helpful than anythng) and i was like. oh worm? the cicada group… bc i watched a short clip of them catching that stupid cicada in their office as it appeared on my tl one day so i clicked on the video ..and after watching that it led me to another video of astro being extra for 6 minutes and those six minutes/????? best six minutes of my life because theyre so fnny and they made me laugh a lot? (combined with the editing from op) so bc they were funnie i decided to look them up and read their profiles/??? i watched their nimdle video and only knew mj bc his tag was the two letters m and j lol but it really made me bust both of my lungs i just?? laughed A Lot 
im not sure how i managed to put name to face so quickly but it mightve been bc after the nimdle videos i watched every ddoca and astro play as well as their vlives available bc..  i just inhale the content at godspeed?? 
for mx and astro i was drawn in by their personalities before their music because they were on more variety shows and had more chances to show dorky they all are which made it way quicker for me to fall for the two groups??? for day6 its a bit sad but the weekly scheduled vlives arent enough for me to tell what kind of people they are (although those r still hilarious) i just wish they would go on more variety shows?? its understandable if they themselves dont want to be on any shows though!!! i love all 3 groups with all my heart :-D 
ok if u skipped u can start from here ill be answering the questions now lmao
FIRSTof all,,,,, youre learning how to drive?? thats so cool >:-0 we’re not allowed to learn until we’re like...?? 18?? or 21 idk but not so Soon :-( and its cute u think abt me (or of what to say) but pleaseth stay safe... i hope ur driving lessons go smoothly until u end theM!!! hopefully youll be able to get ur licence :-D 
aNDD!!! the thought of drinking warm tea when its cold outside.. is so ?? nice to think about hecc u better drink that tEA and enjoy it !!!! stay warm and comfy miss RM ..... and it even snows there????? thats so cool tbh ?? (i love snow but maybe thats bc it doesnt snow here so i dont know the tru evil of snow but like.... its so.... white and fluffy??) i would ask u 2 take pics and show me but alas...... the time is not right :-( do u know when we’re allowed to expose ourselves?? i forgot rip... but its sometime next month right im excited???? since its near my birthday !!!!! 
ok now to answer this ask no i actually have no clue what i want to be after i finish school?? yikEs but last year i (jokingly) said i wanted to be a farmer??? idk if i might actually do that probably not i guess im just freestyling (going with the flow) for now we’ll see where life takes me 
and like i said u can ask me anything !!! im fine with it :-) alsooooo please dont ever feel bad about sending too many asks bc its a lovely thing to wake up to and i just?? get rly happy when i see all the asks in my activity :-D!!  
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