#drawing bouquets is a miserable experience

[purupurple]

i think yellow suits her

[milswrites]

My Beautiful Girls

~ Cassian x SingleMum!Reader

Series masterlist

Summary: An anxious Cassian meets your daughter for the first time.

Warnings: Fluffy goodness

Notes: For the ultimate Cassian girly @sarawritestories

"Hi, I'm Cassian. It's nice to meet you!"

The Illyrian General smiled crookedly as he spoke, clammy hands trembling around the flowers trapped within his steel-like grip.

"Fuck . . . fuck . . . Come on Cas, you can do better than that."

Slowly unfurling his wings, Cassian lightly shook them in the hope of brushing away his steadily growing nerves.

"Breathe Cas, breathe" the male exhaled deeply, rolling back his tense shoulders before locking his determined eyes onto the closed door in front of him, "Hi, I'm Cassian! I've heard so much about you!"

A groan of frustration tore from Cassian's lips, shoulders slumping in dejection as he miserably dropped the flowers to his side.

Cassian had seen his fair share of carnage, having stared death in the face a plethora of times and still lived to tell the tale. Yet no battle, nor life-threatening experience, could have prepared him for the terror he felt in this moment.

The great Lord of Bloodshed riddled with fear at the prospect of meeting your sweet little girl, so only for her not to like him.

It was almost laughable, thinking back to how confident he was when you had first brought up the topic of him meeting your daughter. Cassian recalled flashing you a toothy grin, eyes bright and laugh carefree as he promised you that all children loved him. He was, after all, Nyx's favourite uncle.

Yet now, standing before the door to your home, Cassian wondered if he would ever find the courage to enter. Every possibility as to how this introduction could go wrong festered in the male's worrisome mind, until his poisonous thoughts left his wings twitching with the desire to fly away and hide from his fears.

But Cassian couldn't bring himself to flee, not if it meant losing you.

So here he stood, the icy winter air uncomfortably nipping at his wind-kissed cheeks, rehearsing exactly what it was he would say to your daughter when he first met her. Seeking to gain back some control in the face of his uncertain future.

Adamant that he would not be the one to ruin the one good thing in his life, Cassian drew in a long shaky breath before trying again, "Hi sweetheart, I'm so glad I get to finally meet you."

"Right back at you gorgeous"

If the sight of the Illyrian General practicing a mental script to recite to your five year old daughter didn't bring you to the brink of laughter, seeing the way he startled at your sudden appearance did.

Cassian stumbling backwards as you pulled open your door to great him, cheeks flushing a deep rouge as though you had just caught him in a compromising position.

It was only once your laughter had subsided, and the low grumblings of embarrassment from the male's lips had ceased, were you then able to greet him. Your warm lips coming to meet his own frozen ones in a soft kiss, the action working to further deepen Cassian's flustered blush.

An impatient shout from inside pulled you from your kiss, a light chuckle leaving both of your lips as you quickly glance inside to where your daughter was waiting, "She's been talking about this all day you know? I've never brought anyone home to meet her before, she's really excited."

Your gaze falls to Cassian who was drawing in deep breaths in an attempt to calm himself. Concern pooling in your eyes as you watched how his lips were stretched into an anxious smile which failed to meet his eyes.

"Hey, there's nothing to worry about," you reassured your partner, moving a soothing hand to rest against his cheek, "she'll love you just as much as I do."

Appreciation swam in Cassian's eyes, a soundless thank you falling from his lips before he raised a bouquet for you to take. Or rather two bouquets.

"For you and Evelyn" he nervously mumbled, awkwardly shuffling his feet as he waited for you to take the flowers, "I wanted to get her something nice but . . . I'm not actually sure what five year old's like."

"They're beautiful Cas" you spoke, tears of joy lined your eyes at the male's generosity as you placed a gentle kiss onto his cheek in thanks.

"Are you ready?" you asked whilst stepping aside, making space for Cassian to squeeze himself through your doorway, the male having to curl his wings in tightly in order to fit through the smaller entrance.

"Come on, bat boy. It's time for you to meet your new best friend."

Placing the flowers down onto a nearby console, you led Cassian through your home, softly calling out to Evelyn as you approached the room she was playing in, "Evie, there's someone here to see you."

The sound of tiny feet padding across the floor followed your words, Cassian curiously moving his gaze to the entrance of the room as he waited for your daughter to emerge.

Only his eyes didn't quite catch her face as the small girl barrelled right into the skirt of your dress, shyly hiding within the flowing material of your skirt. "Come on Eves" you encouraged warmly, a tender hand coming to rest against her back, "Aren't you going to say hello?"

A little head tentatively peered over the fabric of your dress, Evelyn's eyes widening as she took in Cassian's wings which imposingly filled the space of your corridor. The nervous girl squeaked a small hello in the General's direction before moving to hide behind the safety of your body once more.

Worried that his wings were too intimidating, Cassian drew them in tightly, bending his knees in order to lower himself to Evelyn's level before greeting the shy girl, "Hi Evie, I'm Cassian." The male allowed a bright smile to cross his face as he watched your daughter's curious eyes peer over the skirt of your dress at his introduction, "Your mum has told me everything about you."

Wanting to aid Cassian who was growing increasingly panicked at the prospect of having to break the ice with your timid daughter, you bent down to speak to her, "How about we go into the room so you can show Cassian your toys hmm?" With a sheepish nod, Evelyn takes your hand, hesitantly moving out from behind your skirt in order to lead you into the living room.

Cassian followed suit, standing from his crouch before moving to the door, only to be unpleasantly surprised upon discovering he was unable to fit through the small wooden frame. His large wings blocking him from entering the room.

Curling them in tighter, the male tried again, attempting to walk into the room once more only to be stopped by the thud of his wings against either side of the doorframe. Just as a frustrated curse was about to tumble from Cassian's lips, a melodic laugh pulled him from his anger.

And Cassian could have sworn it was the sweetest sound he had ever heard.

There stood Evelyn, in the middle of your living room, clutching her stomach as she laughed to her hearts content at Cassian's unfortunate situation.

It was impossible for him to be angry, Cassian's brows unfurrowing at the beautiful sound of her laughter, a deep chuckle of his own breaking from his mouth as he watched the young girl giggle. Love already growing in his eyes as Cassian wished to bottle the sound of her joy.

"Evie," you started in-between your cackling, "Why don't you help poor Cas get in?"

It took all his effort for Cassian not to melt when Evelyn padded over to him, cheeks still rosy from her laughter, and held out a tiny hand for him to take.

Making sure to move his wings into a position that would enable him to enter the room, Cassian took Evelyn's hand which was dwarfed by his own, allowing the girl to pull him into the room.

"My hero" Cassian sweetly grinned, crouching down to place a delicate kiss onto the back of your daughter's hand, "Either I'm going to need some smaller wings or your mum's going to have to get a bigger door."

Another round of giggles fell from Evelyn's lips at his words, her little hand still tucked into Cassian's palm, the girl shaking her head as she quietly spoke, "I like your wings just the way they are."

"Thank you" Cassian replied with a smile, cheeks dusting with a pink blush at her sweet compliment. "I like your dress" he replied, coming to lightly poke Evelyn's button nose which earned him an excitable squeal from the girl before her face adorably scrunched into a picture of curiosity.

"Can . . . can I touch them?" Evelyn shyly asked. Her question being met with sounds of protest from you, knowing just how sensitive Illyrian wings can be. Yet Cassian's answer surprised you, the male telling the girl yes without even an ounce of hesitation.

"Here" he softly spoke, taking Evelyn's hand which was still wrapped in his own and moving it towards a spot on his wing he knew wasn't as sensitive as the others.

Not wanting Cassian to feel obliged to do this just to keep your daughter happy you protested once more, "Cas you don't have to-"

"I don't mind sweetheart"

And as Evelyn's hand came to lightly press against the membrane of his wing, Cassian couldn't stop the spark of joy he felt at seeing the young girl smile. Knowing in his heart that despite this being their first introduction, the General would do anything and everything within his power to ensure your daughter's happiness.

It took everything in you not to cry at the sight of Cassian sating your daughter's curiosity. At the dazzling smile which was painted across his face as he looked at Evelyn with such love. A type of love you had only hoped she would one day get to experience, the love that only a father could provide.

“Can I mama? Can I please?” Evelyn’s begging voice broke you from your thoughts.

“Can you what sorry sweetheart?” You ask, wondering exactly what it was that left your daughter so eager for an answer.

“Can we go flying? Please, please, pleaseeee.”

Cassian grinned at you wickedly from behind where Evelyn was stood, shrugging his shoulders as he mimicked your daughter’s pleading tone, “Please mama, we promise we’ll be good!”

As you flatly stared between Cassian’s smirking face and Evelyn’s equally mischievous smile you silently cursed yourself, scoffing in disbelief at the fact Cassian had known your daughter for under an hour and had already pulled her into his troublesome ways.

Praying to the mother for the strength you are going to need for the restless days ahead.

It had been an evening to remember for Evelyn, Cassian having been more than willing to occupy her until the late hours of the night. Bed-time forgotten as the two of them played and played until Evelyn was no longer able to keep her eyes open no matter how hard she tried.

Your daughter sprawled across yours and Cassian’s lap as the three of you cuddled on the sofa. It didn’t take much longer for you to follow suit and join Evelyn in her dreaming, eyes drifting closed as Cassian’s warmth pulled you into an inviting slumber.

Cassian was more than content to sit and watch the two of you sleep, lip curling at the soft snores which escaped from Evelyn’s mouth.

And as Cassian lay there with the two of you safely tucked within the sanctuary of his arms, he wondered if this was what he had been missing all of his life. For being here, surrounded by the small family you had built for yourself, Cassian could have sworn that his heart had grown two sizes bigger.

So as he stayed awake, scared of missing out on a single moment, Cassian whispered into the silence of the night. A hushed prayer for whoever was listening.

“Thank you” a soft smile graced his lips, “For bringing me my beautiful girls.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Notes: Ahhhh I love them so much 🥹

If you want to see any more of them and have an ideas for what it is you want please do feel free to send in some requests because I totally wouldn’t mind writing more about this little family 🥹

[suppuration]

DVD commentary ask! First thing that came to mind for me.

-

The problem wasn't that Kevin had woken up half covered in fur.

The problem was that Kevin was missing an eye. That woke him up real good. More asymmetry. Swell.

Hard smells filled the entire stretch of the tunnel, a bouquet of cold surfaces, jagged corners, hard edges. Objects that, even from the other side of the space, smelled coarse, smelled polished. Stuffy, prickly organic sterility. Never before had he just felt like the place was filled with useless, crowded junk. He felt like he was suffocating, and sat up, drawing in a good solid few breaths, only for the sensation he was hallucinating to evaporate before he could fully process it.

At least this one's got some muscle, he thought to himself. The relief remained only temporarily, when he noticed his nose was also gone. But he'd inhaled through more than just his mouth. A large, clawed hand aped about the left side of his face and he palpated several slits. His sense of smell could see the hand as he pawed at himself. So that's what this thing's good for, he thought. Mangy mutt. But then the slits seemed more like flaps, and his pinky finger traced one only to dip underneath it.

Oh, the things he suffered through, as his body sought equilibrium amid the supersaturation of energy from that weird watch. In exploring what he'd woken with, he was equal parts comfortable and disgusted. The compound of olfactory perception and ocular vision was more disorienting than trying to process the smells in the first place, like having in one contact lens except worse. Ultimately he wished the mutation had taken both eyes, if it was going to take any. He squinted shut his one, useless eye and took in cyclical, rhythmic breaths, snuffled attempts to adjust to the sheer sensory depth as he groped about the living space. He could smell everything.

A series of urges lit a wanderlust in him, and he investigated the tunnel further down the way. The darkness no longer impeded his exploration. Restless. Destructive physical energy. Need to bite things. Chew. He rested onto all fours, and despite the disparity of the length of his limbs, he fell effortlessly into a sweeping gait, the mutated arm bearing the body weight. Run. Swing. Man, this thing was fast. And strong. Getting his heart pumping like this was great.

But he halted. He could feel his toenails scraping the insides of his boots. The alien energy must not have been done. The dream he'd been having must have woken him up in the midst of the changes setting in. He kicked off the boots and left them where he'd stopped, and ran his hands over his knees and ankles, seeing he'd gotten digitigrade legs again. Free.

And he sprinted off again like he was possessed, tongue hanging out in delirious bliss. When they weren't completely psychologically destroying him, the mutations made him feel alive, truly alive, surges of raw power. Maybe this wave would be the first full shift, and it would grip him completely.

I keep forgetting you have this series saved sdfsf <3 For those who hadn't seen it, the ficlet accompanies this pic:

What I was thinking when I wrote it: I tried to encapsulate with each TF sequence the full sensory experience, and balance that against the mental toll it caused.

Why I wrote it in the first place: I liked Kevin's whole deal, but I really wanted to explore what it must've been like for him each time he experienced another of the alien mutations. We only really see Tetramand and Pyronite, and then the chimeric mashup.

What's going on in Kevin's head: He's experienced several different alien forms prior to this point, but this one's not making him miserable. It's weird, but not bad.

Context against the larger body of work: I had originally planned to write out snippets for all ten base aliens. A few S2-4 aliens seemed like they'd be fun to write for him, too. But, I think I only ended up doing three or four before I hit an unrelated bad headspace and dropped the project.

Awful puns: Well, for starters, it's called "Little Snot."

And so on: Uhh. 1. Vulpimancer was not originally one of my fav 10!OG, but doing this piece gave me an appreciation for the race. 2. The olfactory input description was inspired by one of my favorite passages in Roadside Picnic. When I think "garbage data sensory input," or any other form of inability to process one's senses, I immediately think to that passage.

Thanks for the ask <3 Sorry it took me two weeks to actually reply...!

[fruiteggsaladit]

Entry 2

[ID: Manga panels, chapter 8, page 6: Yusaku and Kentarou (son of Hanae) out and about and buying snowcones for the summer heat. Left to right: "Why so miserable?" "'Cause it's summer vacation." "I don't get it." "It sucks, that's all." "…" Kantarou sighs. "Want one?" (A snow-cone). "I got no money." "Hey I can spring for that much." "You're kind of generous, aren't you?" /END ID.]

He's a misogynist with ulterior motives but at least he's nice to kids. I'm not recommending this manga in the same way that many cannot recommend Ranma 1/2, a lot of the issues in a romcom arise in this one as well, the most pervasive one being the perverted goofball (sexually harassing, groping, attempted sexual assault) trope. These are very unserious notes, I'm not making a a review! More like scenes that stand out to me. And also art!

Kentarou opens up! About homework ("drawing a map of where [he's going] on holiday during summer vacation"), and what his homelife is like (Hanae nooo…. not the implication that she's a drunkard… and sadly dad is also not off the hook, "My dad just lies around on his days off." "You have a dad?!!" ""I know what you mean… sometimes it's kinda hard to tell." FUCK, poor kid.) And then Yusaku shares too! About he also hated that assignment when he was a kid, because he too was in a position where he couldn't go anywhere. "Everyone's map got hung up [after summer vacation]." "Hey, Yusaku, you're the only one who didn't go anywhere!!" Ooooff. And then he suggests a trip to the beach! Just so Kentarou can say he went somewhere and also for the experience.

"Guess what! My friend's gonna-" "What 'friend'..?" Radiating Urameshi "My son has no friends" Atsuko asdfgfd

"It's a Jealousy Storm" no idea if that's a real song or a made-up one

Funny-cute moment in which Kyoko is very adamant she's not feeling jealous while peeling an apple. She gets so absorbed in the denial that there's only the core left. "Looks to me like there's nothing left to eat. Just relax, okay?" "Eh? Ah! There's a bit left!" Girl.

More pretty art!

[ID: Kyoko with white hair, in a red kimono, holding a traditional hand puppet. /END ID.]

[ID: Kyoko with white hair and an orange ribbon. She's wearing a many-layered kimono, her arms partially inside the torso. /END ID.]

Another cute moment! In which Kyoko sits down in the foyer to catch Yusaku before he heads further inside, and he sits down facing her and mirroring her position. As Akemi notes, being the next one to head in, "Playing house in the foyer at your age? Aren't you a cozy couple!" Very cute neither of them realised.

Another cute thing! Yusaku ends up in the puppet theatre club (bc most of them are girls and he's a womaniser) and only when the club vice president notes as much when she sees Kyoko, does he realise he's fashioned the princess puppet after Kyoko. While Kyoko is in earshot and no one has cleared it up yet that they aren't lovers.

"Kozue is just a child" Big Fucking Siiigh romcoms.

Strikes me that this mangaka really did influence Togashi a lot! The poses and body types, though hers tend to have longer limbs, are very similar! There's something very... economical? Sufficient? About how she plans panels and the compositions within them to make them very easy and comfortable to read.

"If you dont let young boys like him work off some of that excess energy, they end up committing awful sex crimes." Yup this sentence alone is a big "You don't have to read this, if anything, I implore you not to read this, I'll give you money not to read this."

[ID: Maison Ikkoku chapter art detail, Akemi in a black sweater and shorts with leaf motif. /END ID.]

I just really love this character's attitude and fashion.

Godammit of course I start crying when the dog's missing.

[ID: Manga art, Mitaka Shun from Maison Ikkoku, in a grey suit holding a bouquet of red roses. Surrounding him in the background, also red roses. /END ID.]

[ID: manga panels from Maison Ikkoku, ch4 page 16: Hanae and Akemi are teasing Kyoko, the female lead, for denying having a crush on the male lead. Reading left to right: "Thinking of a tenant as a 'guy'!" "And the way she defended him! My, my!" "What are you two talking about?!" "My dear, we must have a drink." "I only have tea!!" Akemi is whistling. /END ID.]

Reading Maizon Ikkoku bc it's 80s manga romcom listed as one of the most best-selling, meaning Togashi may have read it for research when he wrote his romcom mangas and influenced yyh, in other words i'm reading it to understand a little more what he was grasping at when it came to the yusuke-keiko romance! Also for ideas.

Sharing the above panels bc Akemi (the curly haired woman in stripes) was wearing something I could imagine Atsuko wearing, and standing beside Hanae especially, it was easy to imagine Atsuko and Keiko's mum! I like imagining them being friends or at least, Yukimura Mama being concerned for Atsuko.

Oh, that and also-

Kuwabara??!?!?!

[ID Maison Ikkoku ch 4, page 10 panel excerpt, of Sakamoto and unnamed friend drinking and talking at a cafe, and anime screenshots of Sakamoto alone (episode 40, "Mezon Ikkoku Kanketsuhen") (fandom.com) /END ID.]

Unexpected gems! Pretty art!

[ID Maison Ikkoku art illustration, Otonashi Kyoko with white hair and clothes, holding a basket of grapes. Visible text: "Where Wacky Hijinks Can't Stop a Great Romance! / Story and Art by / Rumiko Takahashi (4)". /END ID.]

[ID Maison Ikkoku art illustration, Otonashi Kyoko in a blue swimsuit, with white hair stylised to resemble seafoam. /END ID.]

[ID Maison Ikkoku art, Otononashi Kyoko in a red party dress, holding a wrapped wine bottle. Love interests Godai Yusaku (protagonist) and Mitaka Shun (secondary) are behind her in fancy clothing respective to their economic background, Yusaku a poor college student, Shun a well-off tennis coach. /END ID.]

[mmmmalo]

@overtrolled-liveblog‘s recent post on Gamzee made me realize that Gamzee’s first interaction with Terezi (Terezi attempting to hurt Gamzee and being angry when he doesn’t react) is also the basic dynamic of Terezi’s ill-fated attempt to “avenge” herself upon Gamzee around Game Over. I never understood why Terezi’s was manifesting for Gamzee in that interaction, but the repetition seems like a good lead. So here’s an attempt:

Aranea’s mind control is being juxtaposed with whatever allowed Gamzee to maintain his composure in Act 5. Sopor is an obvious candidate, as is his general early interest in avoiding conflict, but there might be something else to it...

2018. When Gamzee remarks (in the narration) that "it is dangerous to leave unarmed", the commentary has this to say: "It's probably not actually that dangerous to leave unarmed. This was probably something his goat dad told him a long time ago. But only to scare him, and make sure he stayed inside so no one would ever see him, because he was so embarrassed by him. Goatdad is probably one of the most sympathetic characters in the story. If Gamzee was your son, wouldn't you abandon him too?" Glib dismissal, veering sharply into needless cruelty. But it nonetheless draws attention to the narration's unreliability, moored as it is to Gamzee's POV.

2017. Speaking of unreliable: "You aren't supposed to eat that slime. It does funny things to a troll's head. // But you were never taught that on account of a lousy upbringing. Your custodian was always out to sea." Gamzee is evidently thinking the very thing he was never taught, but he attributes that thought to a higher power (the narrator) and thereby pleads ignorance of it? Or it could be read as an expression of shame: as Gamzee eats his pie, he imagines a stern voice admonishing him from over his shoulder. OR you might more literally parse the contradiction as the voice of two separate Gamzees sharing the brain space in some kind of daze...or you could call it simple memory loss. These are inclusive ors, btw.

2019. Anyway, Gamzee reaches the beach and we get this line: "You leave your hive and head out to the beach. There is no sign of your custodian. // You should not stay out here very long. The SEA DWELLERS are quite hostile." Commentary on his custodian's absence, followed by a voice of authoritative behavioral cautioning, as though a guardian were living in Gamzee's head. Immediately following this, Terezi manifests for Gamzee, though he doesn't answer immediately... so I suspect Terezi's manifestation will be an elaboration this internal division?

2020: "You're always down for shooting the wicked shit with anyone that who'll put up with you." Man... Act 5 is misery. The Miracle Modus is a picture of Gamzee's brain being fried to a point of being nearly inaccessible. Vivid flashing colors (like Jade's rich scents) are a mark of unfiltered EXPERIENCE sans language/reason (which is probably why Lord English's eyes are flashing), but here that means disorientation -- difficulty organizing sense experience...

2022: Gamzee says a prayer and Faygo gets launched out of his sylladex... is the Faygo the prayer? Jane launched wishes into the sky with the balloons on LOCAH -- but the balloon shape was inverted and transformed into Gamzee's bottles of "potion"... that association seems to be expressed more concisely here. Jane's case was also related to decapitation motifs, which I don't really see with Gamzee here... (aside from Terezi's general association with going for the neck) But at any rate, what is he wishing for?

2023. Gamzee standing in front of his sylladex is getting to me, even more so that his reaching into the sylladex. You are not SUPPOSED to be on that layer of the image. What are you doing. Is that safe? Are you okay?

2024. The conversation itself...continues to evade summarization. I'm going to just describe it piece-by-piece and see if I get anywhere.

Terezi deliberately misspells Gamzee's name in service of a joke: from 'gamzeez' to 'gamezez', highlighting its phonetic proximity to 'games'. Though I wonder if this disguises another sort of exchange: Gamzee goes down to the beach to find his dad, but instead finds Terezi. I'm humoring the idea that she is effectively functioning as the fatherly authority in Goatdad's place. But as the preceding panels indicates, that very notion of authority occupies a place in Gamzee's head that he remains somewhat...detached from? If Terezi gives voice to this aspect of Gamzee, the word blurring could obfuscate that she is saying "Gamzee" /twice/, such that her invitation to play games is an offer for Gamzee to pilot himself? (Which in the parent:child::head:body paradigm is not entirely ridiculous?)

Come to think of it, this is the second time Terezi has harassed someone on a waterfront (hi, Rose) and even then main subjects were a) haha your guardian abandoned you because you're terrible and b) a sense of hearing imploring voices in your head...

Terezi implies that she doesn't like Gamzee and is only inviting him in service of a joke. Gamzee ignores the ulterior message and accepts the given reason as justifiable... after which Terezi gets angry. But she doesn't seem angry that the implication was misunderstood (and her disdain ignored) but is rather angry that the arbitrariness of his selection wasn't itself objectionable -- /after/ which she confirms her own disdain by saying "no wonder Vantas can't stand you". The motivation for the joke became the effect of the joke...

"BUT WHO C4R3S 4BOUT H1M, W3R3 GO1NG TO H4V3 SOM3 MOTH3RFUCK1NG SH1TTY B1TCH3S PL4Y1NG TOG3TH3R!" as Rose said, "Still not sure if I'm being courted or trolled here." Terezi is making fun of how Gamzee talks but nonetheless seems to be attempting to bond with him here...?

With "keeping an eye out" and "you know how it is with family" back-to-back with Terezi's aggression, it kind of feels like Gamzee is likewise (successfully) attempting to bother Terezi... but his defense is his forgetfulness, like a taboo subject just slipped... the same is true of Gamzee's claim that he was never taught that sopor is dangerous, the legitimacy of which depends on Gamzee forgetting?

"The Bard of... fuck, i forgot" is literally a joke on Gamzee "forgetting" his way around anger and aggression, by way of the omission of Rage? Also, it's a generic phrase but John uses 'fuck i forgot' when reminded of his birthday in the Epilogues... topic of birthdays is significant since Gamzee parses his state of mind as 'spacing out' and 'losing track of time' -- a birthday is, in that context, a reminder of time's progression.

Twice in Gamzee's conversation he asks Terezi for a little bit more time before he plays the game with her. This again reminds us of Rose's procrastination -- which among other things represents a deferral of encounter with the Truth, again bringing us to forgetting. 

2028. But interestingly enough, the motif of procrastination continues in the section with Karkat that follows: Karkat expresses apprehension about meeting his guardian before the narrative segues to Terezi, which is structurally resonant with Gamzee going to the beach for his guardian, only to find Terezi? Which again associates her with unseen authority figures... 

Oh shoot, and the panel cuts from Karkat looking down through the hole in his floor to a low-angle shot of Terezi's skylight? As though she were below like crabdad. That seals it for me.

2030. Actually, I mentioned how Gamzee's flashing modus is related to the unmediated sensory bouquet that Lord English sees ALL THE TIME by having flashing eyes, but Terezi's room? Is set up to be exactly that sensory bouquet, all the time, with loud colors plastered and mixed haphazardly. I've mostly focused on Terezi's relation to English by way of their shared association with the Law (x)(x) but this is a fresh angle...

And since it becomes apparent that the scenes that /follow/ Gamzee's conversation inform the way it should be read, I would be remiss to exclude the Karkat/Sollux conversation between the Gamzee and Terezi sections... in which the ~ATH (til death) code is brought up, which proves central to Lord English's creation.

2026. "later on you would run this code in a fit of stupidity." Creepy! I always assume the narration to be bound to the present tense, like the character's POV, so this sudden interruption from the future is really unnerving. How does Karkat know this? Is that just a miserable self-assessment, like he knows he'll harm himself when he gets worked up? Is this Karkat planning to curse everyone, but renouncing his decision as a product of fate? I feel like this confusion nicely complements the paradoxical ~ATH code on screen (Sollux's double reacharound virus)

2027. "Speak of the devil" Sollux has manifested for Karkat... yeah I still can't make sense of this as far as manifestation goes. BUT I think the fact that chatlogs are likewise two-colored might mean that Sollux and Karkat's conversation is in some sense analogous to the code...? The architecture of the conversation is... accusing eachother of self-loathing and then agreeing upon mutual self-destruction (of the conversational log), which at least superficially resembles a program that exists to destroy itself and the medium in which it resides? Maybe...

Shot in the dark: the (much procrastinated) march unto Truth is a march unto Judgement, which means both God and Death. Thus Gamzee (the procrastinator who avoids truth) transitions to Karkat/Sollux (vaguely suicidal gesture in their conversation) transitions to Terezi (judge and executioner, associated with ultimate authority and thus God). That's my best assessment of the proceedings thus far.

[microcos-pod]

Micro-Cosmos S1E2: Turn and Draw Transcript

(A strange beast torments the crew.

Transcript begins below break.)

[THEME MUSIC FADES IN]

ANNOUNCER Futuristic Trail Mix Productions presents Micro-Cosmos: A Science Fiction Podcast. [THEME MUSIC FADES OUT]

[sfx: footsteps, button press]

ATHENA Transmitting on April 8th, 2094, from approximate position on Ophiuchus-22, North 51 degrees West 111 degrees, this is Officer Athena Romero: combination communications-security specialist and resident chronicler with Omnitarian Establishment Crew #0137-F. This is day 12 of our terraforming mission, and our 8th day of hauling ship to the rendevous point. I'm happy to report that the last 24 hours have been pleasantly uneventful, given our... typical circumstances and somewhat whimsical encounters. Dr. Couvillion has continued expanding upon his... catalog, if you will, of flora and fauna he's found on the planet's surface. According to Cal at 0600 this morning, he has gotten it up to 34 items. Impressive. He is, though, still waiting for authorization to send what he collected last week in for analysis, so... I think he would be... Rather appreciative if you could get back to him on that. Please. Hmm what else... oh! Petty Officer Abbott has been busy trying to add... I think they called them 'firewalls'? To Cal's programming, to try to prevent any more... technical accidents, when Cal inevitably gets bored. They are so far unsuccessful, but... I have faith. They were able to successfully repair their ocular functions on Monday after Cal unintentionally disabled them, so... I don't know, we'll see. Commander de la Cruz has been making sure that morale is high, given the long trek. The temperatures on Ophiuchus aren't too terribly hot, only reaching a high of a scalding 25 degrees Celsius yesterday, so being sweaty and miserable hasn't been a tremendous source of torment during our hike... but being painfully bored certainly has, though. She gave Felix a... deck of cards last night. I'm not where she got it, or why she has it, or why she gave it to him,jokinglybut I am quite disappointed she has never invited me to a game of Cribbage. Uh... Aside from that, she has also been doing a wonderful job of navigating us towards our rendezvous point. Either that or we are.. almost definitely screwed, soo... Here's to hoping. I have been spending a large amount of my time in the woods alongside Dr. Couvillion. Not only to serve as protection from... you know, the possibility of predatory creatures, but also to observe for myself! The wildlife here is... gorgeous. Similar to much of what you'd find on Earth but... I don't know, I can't put my finger on it. The more flower reminiscent plants have a much stronger smell than those on Earth, though. Not bad, by any means, but... strong. Like perfume.  It's all very coordinated and... matchy? The fragrances all complement each other. And very well, at that. I feel like it could make the perfect bouquet. Like it was made to make the perfect bouquet, in a metaphorical sense. They're... perfect. I like it. The plant life, I mean. I can... pretty confidently assume that Felix does, as well. I think we all do, if in... very different ways. I think Miles has less of an admirable view of plant life and more of a... sort of... I don't know. I was going to say 'respect,' but that doesn't... Sound entirely right, either. They... acknowledge its importance but... that's about the extent of their reverence. Regardless, I think everyone else is at dinner right now, so I'll... wrap this up and get the two of us back to camp. We're almost halfway through our hike to the rendezvous point right now, and should thus be arriving in... approximately 2-3 weeks. As stated previously, morale is... about as high as it can be while we make our boring... boring way. Outside of all of that, I currently have nothing left to report. So... For now, Romero out. [sfx: button press, footsteps] ATHENA (CONT’D) Are we ready to go, Felix?

FELIX Should be, assuming you are done with your log?

ATHENA Yeah, just finished up. Find anything else?

FELIX Well- [sfx: comms turning on] ALEX (O.S.) You two on your way back yet?

ATHENA Yes, sir... Why, is something wrong?

ALEX (O.S.) No, just a... small situation back at camp. Not an emergency but we could certainly use you guys here with us.

ATHENA 10-4. We'll pick up the pace. ALEX (O.S.) Copy. Thanks.The comms clicks off.

ATHENA Any idea what that was about?

FELIX No. Only one way to find out though, yes?

ATHENA Yeah...Head right on, then?

FELIX Right on. *** ALEX So you're sure you didn't hear anything?

MILES Yes. I was- I was just getting my food. I came out of the tent to sit at the camp. Is that so-

CAL You hesitated.

MILES Oh, shut it, you insufferable little- [sfx: footsteps] ALEX Alright, you two. I wasn't accusing anyone, Miles. I just wanted to know if there was anything you heard or saw that could help us figure out what did do it. I'm not going to put you through trial over a-

FELIX Why is the bag outside of the tent?

ATHENA Why is the bag... slashed open- what happened?

ALEX That's what we're trying to figure out. Glad you two could join us, though. If there's some wild, carnivorous beast out there hunting us down, we're probably better as a unit than alone, right? Right, Felix, there's not a wild, carnivorous beast out there hunting us down?

FELIX Well... [The rest of the crew groans.] CAL On April 7th at 2200 hours, Dr. Couvillion left the following report in his Wildlife Catalog:"Footprint. Reptilian in nature. Tridactyl. Approximately 20 centimeters in length. Located in the southwest forest. Likely predatory." [They groan again.] FELIX I said 'likely!' Not to mention that it was merely a footprint and I have no other correlating information. Some... twigs could have left that.

MILES Some artistic ass twigs-

ALEX Miles.

MILES Commander, you heard what Cal said!

ALEX I did. And it all sounded theoretical to me. Everyone just needs to calm down, it'll be fine. Felix, do you think that there's... a probability that that footprint and the... tear in the bag could be related? Was it pointed towards the camp or anything?

FELIX I wasn't... necessarily looking, at that moment. If we want more information on the classification and nature of this creature, we'll have to go back into the forest and conduct some actual research. MILES No way. ATHENA Let's do it.

MILES Athena!

ATHENA Miles, look at this.

[sfx: the bag rustling as Athena opens it]

ATHENA (CONT’D) First Aid equipment. Bandages, hydrocortisone ointment, antiseptics. If this thing is a legitimate threat, then we need to do something about it, seeing as we've already contaminated and/or shredded the majority of our medical supplies. One of us trips and accidentally gashes our knee open, we're screwed. God forbid someone gets slashed by whatever was sharp enough to trash a polyurethane nylon bag and layers of tough equipment. I... I really don't think this should be up for debate.

ALEX She has a point. If we sit around and wait for whatever it was to come back, it might end up jeopardizing the security of our other equipment. Equipment that we really can't afford to lose. Communication devices, the tent...

FELIX Rations.

ALEX Exactly. Not particularly a risk I'm willing to take when we're lightyears away from base.

[Miles sighs.]

ALEXl You'll be fine, Miles. We've been in the woods dozens of times, now, and we're all still here. Limbs and all.

MILES I know, but... I mean, we've got how much more time before we run out of starlight? An hour? Thirty minutes?

ALEX You've got some nice glasses there, Abbott, don't they do anything? Transitionals, perhaps? New scotopic models?

Flashlight, dude. Felix and Athena go out after dark all the time.

CAL "Nothing routs us but the villainy of our fears," Officer Abbott.

ATHENA Was that Shakespeare-

MILES Cal-

FELIX Miles are you... afraid of the dark?

[Miles groans.]

ALEX Right, then. Into the woods to Grandmother's house we go. Everyone grab a bag and make sure your flashlights are still secured to your belt. We'll head out in 10, get a quick dinner if you need to.

CREW (varying) Yes, sir.

ALEX Oh, and Athena?

ATHENA Yes, sir?

ALEX Nice thinking. ***

ALEX What were those coordinates again, Cal?

CAL North 51 degrees West 111 degrees.

ATHENA North 51 West 111? That's not far from where we were earlier this afternoon. I wasn't... looking out for anything, but I... don't particularly remember seeing anything indicating that there's a... You know, large, reptilian predator out there. You're sure those are it?

CAL That is the approximate center of what we generally refer to as the "southwest forest." So, yes. I'm quite sure, Athena.

MILES "The southwest forest" is a pretty friggin' vague location, Cal. There's no way you could find a... I don't know, more precise target or something?

CAL Of course, Officer Abbott! Give me a moment as I integrate myself into Dr. Couvillion's hippocampus and see the exact location of the footprint measured at a mind-boggling 20 centimeters in length somewhere in an undefined, unexplored, unmeasured forest of foreign flora- and, more importantly, fauna- to get you a "more precise target" since you can't bother walking the extra 0.8 kilo-

MILES Cal, you need to drop this attitude with me! I'm trying to get things done and you're acting like it's some otherworldly request! Just do your job, is it that-

ALEX Hush, you two.

What is taking Felix so long?

MILES Probably making himself a gourmet meal with the trail mix...

[sfx: footsteps, a bag jangling]

FELIX Sorry for the delay, I had to- What's with the staring?

ALEX That's a... lot of equipment you've got there, Felix.

FELIX Well, I figured we would require a particular level of, how do you say... expertise? And as our one and only Chief Science Officer and the only biologist I know of for a couple of lightyears, I figured I would bring some of my equipment. Maybe make it a bit of a learning experience for the less knowledgeable.

Such as Miles.

MILES Now, look here-

ALEX Play nice. That's all actually useful though, right? It's not just going to slow us down?

FELIX No, of course not. It's a collection of hunting and trapping supplies and portable evaluation equipment. If things go as we're expecting, it should all come to use.

ALEX Good, good.

[Alex claps.]

ALEX (CONT’D) Alright. Athena and Miles, you two stay close and keep tabs on each other. Felix and I will take the lead. If you see anything out of place, anything at all, let us know immediately. We should reach the approximated position in... mm, Cal, what do you think?

CAL At your average speed of 13.87 kilometers per hour, I think shooting for 15-20 minutes is your likeliest estimation, Commander.

ALEX Call it 17, then. We've got twenty-ish minutes of starlight left, so make sure your flashlights are secured and you've got your eyes peeled. Not entirely sure what we're looking for, so be ready for just about anything.

Cool... Onward, then. [sfx: footsteps]

***

[sfx: footsteps, birds chirping, forest ambiance]

MILES Hey, Athena?

ATHENA Yes, Miles?

MILES You're the, like... bodyguard, right?

ATHENA [laughs] Security specialist, bodyguard, however you'd like to put it. Yes, I am. Why?

MILES So you...You have a knife or something, right?

ATHENA Yes... It's not exactly going to gut a modern dinosaur, but I have a pocketknife. So does Felix, I think.

[Miles mumbles an affirmation.]

May I ask why you're asking me this?

MILES Oh. No reason.

ATHENA You're sure? No reason at all?

MILES Yes. Well, no. I mean. Well... you know.

ATHENA I... don't. You know you can talk to me, Miles, right? I know I'm not the, uh... social butterfly, that Dr. Couvillion and Commander de la Cruz are, but I'm still your crew member and I'm not going to... bite, or whatever. [chuckles.] I've been told I'm actually quite pleasant to talk to, on occasion.Miles awkwardly chuckles back in response. Before they have time to say anything, though, 

ATHENA I'm sorry if you thought I was trying to make you look like an idiot earlier, I swear, I wasn't. I just... that was a lot of medical supplies, and we've still got a ways before we reach the rendezvous point, so I was... worried, at the implications of possibly losing anything more. I didn't mean to seem... aggressive, or anything, and I am genuinely very sorry if I came across that way.

MILES Oh, no, yeah, no, you're fine. I didn't think much of it. I was being... Stupid, so... No, I get it.

I was asking because of the, uh... "modern dinosaur," by the way. It's getting dark out, so I was just thinking about it.

ATHENA I'm honoured that you think I could take on a potentially 5 meter, thick-skinned dinosaur on my own, Officer Abbott.

MILES Yeah, yeah...Miles stops walking for a moment, as Athena continues to walk. 

[sfx: jangling of Miles searching their belt, a slight droning glitch]

MILES (CONT’D) Hey, wait up a minute!

ATHENA What was that? 

[sfx: repeated clicking]

MILES My flashlight's not turning on!

ATHENA Stay there, give me a second!

Commander, could you two turn back for a moment?

ALEX (O.S.) Yes, turning around now. Everything alright?

ATHENA Yeah, we're fine, just...

[sfx: jangling, clicking from Athena]

ATHENA Torches aren't turning on. Low visuals. Soon none, most likely.

ALEX (O.S.) Fantastic. We'll be there in a minute or two. See you then. Or... not, apparently. de la Cruz out.

[Athena sighs.]

[sfx: jangling, clicking]

ATHENA Miles-

MILES Sorry.

[sfx: forest ambiance] [sfx: a sudden scuttling]

MILES Athena, what the hell was that?

ATHENA I don't know. Stay quiet, I'll go check it out.

[sfx: footsteps]

MILES What? Athena, don't be an idiot, get back here, what are you-

Athena? Are you- [sfx: comms click on] ALEX (O.S.) Hey, our-

[Miles screams.]

ALEX (O.S., CONT’D) -flashlights aren't working either. Not sure what's going on. We should be approaching in a second, though, so just keep an ear out. Copy?

ATHENA(O.S.) Miles? Miles, are you okay?

MILES Uh- yeah, I'm okay, I'm fine, ah

[sfx: button press on comms]

MILES (CONT’D) Copy! Copy. We, uh... we heard something and, unless Felix has taken a liking to scuttling around on forest floors like a squirrel, I think it might be our predator. Athena went to go look, not sure why in Hell she would, but she's... away. A couple meters, at least.

ATHENA (O.S.) I'm fine, don't worry about me. You two should get here as quickly as possible, though, I can hardly see the back of my hand right now, let alone a potentially deadly predator. I think we'll take any help we can get.

ALEX (O.S.) Copy. Okay, how about this. Give us 15 more seconds to cover some distance, and then we'll start a count off. Make sure everyone is accounted for and get some approximated positions. Me, Felix, Miles, Athena, Cal. Out loud, no comms. Make sense?

MILES Yes, sir. 

Well, actually, uh...Cal has been. Shy. For the past few minutes. So unless they've had a major change of heart, I'm not sure how willing they would be to-

ALEX (O.S.) Okay, Miles. Noted. Are we good, Cal? Athena?

ATHENA (O.S.) 10-4.

ALEX (O.S.) Got it, Felix?

FELIX (O.S.) Got it. Uh... what was that about Cal?

ALEX (O.S.) They're... fine. I don't think they plan on running away anytime soon. We can check on them once we get things sorted out. Not the first time they've been... antisocial with us.

Okay, everyone turn your comms off. Listen for our voices. De la Cruz out.

[sfx: comms all click off, forest ambiance]

ALEX ONE!

FELIX TWO!

MILES Three!

ATHENA Four!

ALEX One!

FELIX Two!

MILES Three!

ATHENA Four! ALEX One!

FELIX Two!

MILES Three!

ATHENA Four!

ALEX One!

FELIX Two!

MILES Three!

ATHENA Four!

UNKNOW DISTORTED VOICE FIVE.

[The group SCREAMS, chaos ensues.]

[sfx: various shuffling, running, collisions]

[Athena and Alex exclaim.]

ALEX Are you okay?

ATHENA I think- are you?

ALEX Hell if I know!

FELIX Miles?!

[Miles shrieks.]

FELIX Miles, it's me, calm down!

MILES Sorry, I didn't-

ALEX Everyone, calm-

[CAL laughs. And keeps laughing.]

CAL Oh, you should've seen the looks on your faces! I mean, I couldn't exactly see, but imagining was just as fun! That was great, that was great...

MILES What?

CAL What? It was just a prank, Miles. If this was you, you'd tell me to 'lighten up.’

MILES I think you have a really twisted view on what I think is funny, Cal.

ALEX Cal, this... this is beyond unacceptable. What the hell were you th-

[sfx: a monstrous roar]

[The crew screams, Cal’s boot-down jingle plays]

ALEX Run. RUN, GO!

[sfx: running footsteps]

ATHENA Here, look! Behind here!

MILES So does anybody... want to explain to me... what the hell just happened?

MILES Anyone at all? FELIX Did any of you... actually see the specimen?

MILES Thank you, for not answering my question at all.

FELIX No, Miles, I'm serious. Did any of you catch a glimpse of it? Size estimations, speed, anything?

ALEX I don't think so, Felix. Why? Did you catch something we didn't?

FELIX Not exactly...

[sfx: jingling, shuffling of Felix’s equipment]

FELIX Despite the, ah... acoustics and tone of the beast in question, I don't actually think it... well, hm...

ALEX Felix? What are you getting at?

FELIX I have a theory that this beast may not be quite as beastious as aforementioned, sir. The scale is... not quite adding up to me.

MILES ... what.

FELIX I'll be right back, sir.

[sfx: footsteps of Felix sprinting off]

ALEX Felix- Oh, for the love of-

[sfx: footsteps of Alex sprinting off]

ATHENA Alex!

[sfx: footsteps of Athena sprinting off]

MILES Athena!

[sfx: footsteps of Miles sprinting off]

*** ATHENA Transmitting on April 8th, 2094, from our current base. We have now reached 2100 hours and I...frustratedWhat a day it has been, Headquarters. Following my previous log, sent out approximately 2 hours ago, Dr. Couvillion and I returned to base to find our primary first aid bag slashed open. Contaminated, trashed, and, mostly, useless.

From that point on, it was somehow deduced that a.... reptilian predator was out to sabotage us. Nothing has since pointed against such a deduction, however... the creature is still nowhere to be found. We had a close encounter, though, following an... incredibly tasteless joke from Cal. They later expressed to me that they did it as an act of retaliation. They said it had something to do with their... dismissal. Being used as an asset and nothing more. Not getting to fully interact with the crew like the rest of do, barely being able to get a word in, period. I get that. I don't think what they did was appropriate at all, that's not what I'm saying, but... That feeling. That disconnect. I get it. Regardless, we proceeded to get chased behind a tree. Doctor-

[sfx: footsteps MILES You're telling me. You had. A net. This entire time?

FELIX I told you I had trapping equipment, Miles. I just never got the chance to set anything useful up since somebody here couldn't deal with a broken torch...

MILES Yours was broken too?

FELIX Ah, yes, but I didn't make Athena call up Commander de la Cruz, did I?

[Miles and Felix argue in the background.]

ATHENA Uh, sorry... Doctor Couvillion then set back out, which led to... a bit more chaos. Just what we needed. We then reported back to base, and he was... incredibly insistent about heading back out. So... he and Miles pushed back into the trees. After we all rested for a few minutes. I held back to watch over base, and Commander de la Cruz followed them close behind, with Cal, to make sure they didn't kill each other. Sounds like he had a net. I don't see anything of importance though, so... I'll update later. [sfx: comms click]

ATHENA Anything?

MILES No, just a bunch of stupid twigs.

ATHENA Great.

FELIX It could've at least been a learning experience if someone had put in the smallest twinge of effort. But alas... Miles is doomed to brainlessness.

ALEX GUYS! Guys, you might want to check this out!

MILES She was in the forest?

ATHENA Yes, now go, go go go...There is a shuffling as they all run back to Alex.

FELIX What did you- [gasps].

AWWWWW. Oh my god, that is the most adorable thing I have ever seen...

ALEX Isn't it?

[sfx: the creature murmurs]

MILES That is the most hideous thing I've ever laid eyes on.

CAL Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, Miles.

ATHENA Felix, do you know what that is?

FELIX No. However, its build is very similar to that of a cougar cub, and its reptilian frill, tridactyl state, and scaley nature....

Well, for starters, it's clearly only a baby. Aside from those claws, it couldn't hurt a fly.

[sfx: a single step forward]

[The crew whispers at him.] [sfx: the creature squeaks]

FELIX Isn't that right, little guy? You wouldn't hurt a tiny, little fly, would you? No you wouldn't, no you would not... How does Mercutio sound for a name? Little Mercutio-

[sfx: the creature hisses and sprays]

[Felix screams, the crew exclaims.]

ALEX FELIX! Are you okay?

CAL Doctor Couvillion?!

MILES FELIX!!

ATHENA Are you alright??

FELIX Yes, I'm- I'm fine... Just stings... Bad Mercutio! Bad!

[sfx: the creature hisses and scurries off]

ALEX Dammit.

CAL Don't worry, Commander. The probability of one of Doctor Couvillion's traps catching the creature is incredibly-

[sfx: a trap springs, the creature yelps]

CAL (CONT’D) Likely!

ALEX Joyous day...

Right, Felix, let's get your face checked out. Athena, go see what the situation is at the trap. Cal, maybe back some of the newfound data to the catalog with Miles?

CAL Yes, sir.

Alex undoes their projector from her wrist and hands them to Miles.ALEXGet along with each other. We'll all bed down in 30. CREW (varying) Yes, sir.

*** [sfx: a campfire crackling]

CAL Processing 80% complete. Processing 85% complete. Processing 90% complete. Integrating into mainframe and long term memory drive. Processing 95% complete. Saving to Doctor Felix Augustine Couvillion-

MILES Augustine?

CAL -personal data file. Processing 100% complete. Data saved.There is a quick chime.

CAL Yes. Augustine, Officer Abbott. As an asset of the Omni-Corporation, I have access to each crew member's personal file, seeing as that's useful and convenient. Is this shocking to you?

MILES No, that's not what I meant, you know that's not what I am, I just thought-

CAL Because I can go through all of it right now, if you'd like! Since it seems so interesting! Let's start with the star of the show, yes? Petty Officer Miles Jackson Abbott.

MILES Cal-

CAL Date of birth: June 30th, 2071. Ooh, interesting! Education: Skipped years 7 to 9 in secondary school. Attended the University of Teegarden- very impressive school, Miles- from 2086 to 2088, before facing e- 

MILES ENOUGH, Cal.

CAL I'm sorry that that wasn't convenient for you, Officer. There must be something wrong with my programming. I shouldn't be able to be so challenging, so... impractical. I was only trying to help you. Perhaps it's something that the decommissioning floor will have to look into when we arrive back on Earth. I will try to be a better contrivance in the future. Goodnight, Officer Abbott. [Cal’s boot-down jingle plays.] *** [THEME MUSIC FADES IN] ANNOUNCER Micro-Cosmos: A New Science Fiction Podcast.

This episode, Turn and Draw, was written by Jesse Smith, edited by Luka Miller, and directed by Jesse Smith, Zyrel Thompson, and Lauren Tucker. It starred Jesse Smith as the voice of Athena Romero, Jackson Rossman as the voice of Miles Abbott, Luka Miller as the voice of Alex de la Cruz, Kaleb Piper as the voice of Felix Couvillion, and Pippa van Beek-Paterson as the voice of Cal. Original music by Julia Barnes, and sound editing by Tobias Friedman and Isabel Sepúlveda. Be sure to stay tuned to our feed for upcoming episodes from the new backpacking intergalactic adventure from Futuristic Trail Mix Productions. To follow the show and find transcripts, you can find us on Twitter, Tumblr, and Instagram as @MicroCosPod. Questions, comments, and concerns can be emailed to us via futuretrailmixpros@gmail.com. Find more information on the show on our website, microcospod.space. Thank you for listening. [THEME MUSIC FADES OUT] ***

[lloydskywalkers]

So on the incredibly rare occasion that I do write romance, I have the ability to write one (1) single romance and that is all, and that’s Dumb Fools in Love. Which hopefully fits here, because it’s Glass Girl’s namesake day, so i gotta at least try for @speedythecat, it’s what she desERVES.

(happy valentines this is disgusting fluff anyways i love u speedy)

Lloyd likes the way construction paper sounds. It’s kind of therapeutic, the sound it makes as he drags the scissors through the middle. It’s even more satisfying when he uses them to start stabbing gaping holes through the paper, because he went and ruined the stupid heart shape again, and now he’s running out of pink and red construction paper that doesn’t look like he took a vicious katana to it and went crazy.

“Stupid scissors—”

He doesn’t know if Rain even likes pink or red that much, Lloyd reminds himself dismally, as he untangles his fingers from the scissors. Just that they’re thematically appropriate to the essence of the holiday, or whatever, and they apparently must’ve been the only two colors that existed when whoever came up with Valentine’s Day was around. He hasn’t even found actual purple in any of the little cards he’s seen, just some floral lavender.

Lloyd glances down to the pile of pink and red paper strewn across the table in front of him, then back to the instructions he’s printed out for himself. Then back to the paper.

Maybe he can just like, die instead.

Lloyd is about ninety percent sure that he can’t be the only person to ever look up “how to make Valentine’s Day cards” on the internet before, but it still feels like a crushing blow to his pride and an overall dumb move in general as he does.

But he’s only slightly desperate right now, and he really doesn’t want to reach fully desperate, so he’s willing to suck up his pride if it means not totally ruining his girlfriend’s hopes and dreams by giving her a sub-par and ultimately disappointing Valentine’s Day card that looks like he doesn’t even understand the holiday in the first place.

To be fair, though, he kinda doesn’t.

Like, Lloyd knows what Valentine’s Day is, obviously. He’s not an idiot. He’s just…never really participated in it…as a person. It seems like all the others have cute little stories of getting paper cut-outs and candy hearts in grade school (which he can get behind, if there’s candy), but Lloyd’s experience in grade school was general scorn toward anything love-related at all. Valentine’s Day was well out of the question. Lloyd didn’t even know it existed until he walked straight into a street stand that looked like red and pink had thrown up all over it, before being drowned in like, twenty-dozen bouquets of roses.

He’d been an awful brat of a child then, so at the time, he’d dealt with it by kicking the stand over and being totally grossed out. Now, however, he’s left wondering if those bouquets are worth the money, or if he should invest in the slightly bigger ones they sell over on the east side stands.

How the tables have turned, Lloyd sighs miserably to himself, struggling to peel another stubborn strip of glitter glue from his hand where it’s dried there, sparkling mockingly at him.  Finally digging the glue free, Lloyd brushes his hands off and glances down at his paper.

Go for handmade.

Well, that one’s easy, ‘cause there’s no way Lloyd’s physically bringing himself to walk into a store and buy Rain some cheesy card with a bunch of generic hearts on it. This, of course, leaves the problem that Lloyd now has to come up with the card, and the only thing that’s coming to mind are generic, cheesy hearts.

Hmm. Lloyd taps the edge of the table, humming beneath his breath. He can draw pretty well, but he’s not like, an artist. Not like Cole is, or anything. Lloyd is a lot better at cartoon characters and funny little caricatures of the others than he is, say, detailed roses or something.

Rain likes cats, right? he muses. He could draw a cat, and then maybe have it holding a heart, or something. That’d be kinda cute, maybe. And then he’d get to make some awful pun like “you’re paw-sitively purr-fect”—

Lloyd slams his head down on the table. Nope. This is why he’s not allowed to come up with the idea himself. He’s worse than all the awful grocery store cards put together.

Something in his nose tickles, and he sneezes, sending up sparkly dust all around him. Lloyd blinks, then bites back a moan. Belatedly, he realizes he’s just dunked his head in glitter dust.

It could’ve been the glue, he tries to comfort himself.

Figuring he’s already doomed, Lloyd makes peace with the fact that he’s just going to live the rest of his day resembling a blond disco ball, and lifts his head to return to task, squinting at what’s next on the list.

Make it personal.

Again, that one should be easy too, because it’s Rain. But what’s supposed to count as personal? Is it like, I-love-you personal, or here’s-a-reference-to-inside-joke-number-fifty-eight kind of personal? Should he do both? He and Rain have too many inside jokes, though, it’ll take him half the day to pick one, and he’s already running out of time. Rain’s supposed to be back at noon, and Lloyd does not have that kind of time to kill.

He drums his fingers against the table-top, staring at the outlined drawing of Rain his fingers have absently started sketching out, right next to his doodles of little cats and a mini-Overlord raging terror on the glitter glue scattered across the paper.

Lloyd frowns at the last one. Oops. Well, he can’t give her this now.

“Is that supposed to be the Overlord? You can’t give Rain that for Valentine’s Day.”

Lloyd jumps half a foot out of his chair and slams his knee into the table just so that his entire leg goes dead, his shriek of surprise strangling off as he chokes on the erupting cloud of glitter dust.

By the time he winds down coughing, wiping the reflexive tears from his eyes and glaring, Kai is just staring at him, mildly concerned and whole lot unimpressed.

“A little warning, please.”

“I’ve been standing here for five minutes, bud, it’s not my fault you’re in dreamland.” Kai glances down at the table-top of scattered construction paper and glitter dust, and his mouth trembles, like he’s holding back laughter. “Are you…trying to make a card, or mass-murdering our construction paper supply?”

Lloyd feels his cheeks go scarlet, and he sputters. “I’m not — no, I’m just—” He waves his hands in the air, wishing he could disappear. “Valentine’s Day,” he finally says, haplessly. “Rain. Card.”

“Ah,” Kai says, nodding. He eyes the butchered pile of paper. “It’s going…good, then?”

Lloyd buries his face in his hands, groaning. “I keep ruining it. I’ve never done Valentine’s Day before, Kai, this is a disaster. Rain’s gonna hate it.”

“Aw, don’t say that,” Kai says, sliding into the chair next to him, patting him on the shoulder. “Rain’ll be fine with…whatever…you end up making. It’s not that big a deal.” He laughs, rolling his eyes. “I mean, it’s not like she’s going to get horribly upset because you butchered her favorite holiday and dump you for some chump with better taste.”

Lloyd freezes dead, his eyes widening. He has not yet considered this option. What if he does ruin Rain’s entire holiday with his awful gift? What if, by completely disrespecting her last name’s namesake — thing — she does get horribly upset and runs off with like, Ariya to the desert or something, and—

Kai blinks, then his eyes go wide. “Lloyd, wait — no, it was a joke, Lloyd, don’t get that look on your face — Nya!”

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

And that’s how Lloyd ends up cornered by his entire team at the kitchen table, covered in glitter dust and currently living out his worst life as they try to decide the best way for him not to totally sabotage his love life in one go.

“Honestly, I never really got Valentine’s Day,” Kai remarks. “I didn’t get the whole grade school experience as much, since we homeschooled for the most part. It’s just a lot of hearts and chocolate and flowers and stuff, right?”

“Um, it’s a lot more than that,” Jay rolls his eyes. “It was classroom warfare. Your like, entire life status was measured by how many Valentines you’d get. It was totally lame,” he scowls.

“I dunno, I always got a whole lot,” Cole muses. “I could never figure out why, though. I wasn’t super popular, or anything...”

They all stare at Cole for a beat, where he stands haloed beneath the kitchen lights in all his wavy-haired glory.

“Hopeless,” Jay sighs.

“This isn’t grade school, though,” Nya says. “This is Lloyd’s actual relationship, which we are helping him with, so let’s hear actual helpful stuff, please.”

“Again,” Kai shrugs. “Flowers. Chocolate. Hearts. Bam, you’re good.”

“For crying out loud,” Jay groans. “How do magazines keep labeling you the smooth one.”

“Hold on, he’s got a point with the chocolate part,” Cole points out.

“Of course, you would choose that part to focus on,” Zane sighs.

“Guys, enough,” Nya cuts over them. “I said helpful stuff, not the most generic ideas ever. I mean, chocolate’s nice, but Lloyd’ll probably eat it all before it gets to Rain anyways—”

“I would not!” Lloyd protests.

“—and the card’s gonna be the focal point, so hearts are covered.” Nya glances down the pile of butchered construction paper in front of Lloyd, and winces. “We’ll, uh, help you with that part. But first, let’s plan.” She tugs a half-torn piece of construction paper toward her, uncapping a marker. “What all does Rain like, for starters?”

“Well,” Lloyd pauses, thinking. “She does like flowers, and — no, no I am not going to ask Lief for help, no way, not a chance.”

“Just a suggestion!” Jay throws his hands up in defense. “He’s her friend, though, so he’d probably have some ideas, y’know?”

“So. Not. Worth it.”

“Okay, okay, geez.”

Nya rolls her eyes, but scribbles ‘flowers — not from Lief’ on the paper anyways. “Good, but that’s still pretty standard stuff. Anything else a little more creative? Something that really says Rain to you.”

“She likes rocks,” Lloyd nods.

The marker squeaks violently on the paper, and Nya makes a dying sound in the back of her throat. Kai breaks into snickering, and Jay whacks him on the shoulder, giggling.

“There you go, bud, perfect Valentine’s gift. Give her a rock.”

“No,” Nya says firmly, glaring at Jay. She then turns the glare on Lloyd, who immediately shrinks lower in his seat. “Rocks, Lloyd, really — okay. Okay, do you know anything else she likes? That’s not rocks?”

“Uh, she likes…glass?” Lloyd says, weakly. “And um, seashells. And tea, and — she really does like rocks, I’m serious! Like, cool ones—“

“You are not giving Rain a rock for Valentine’s Day!”

“A cool rock!”

“That doesn’t make it any more acceptable!”

“Ughhh.” Lloyd slides down in his chair with a dying moan, throwing his arms over his face. “You ruin everything. She likes those little paper cranes, I guess. And, uh…”

“You,” Zane reminds him. “She likes you. Therefore, she will most likely love anything you give her, since it’s from you.”

Normally, Lloyd would just scoff at that, but Zane’s voice is so sincere it actually helps, a little. Lloyd sits up in his seat a bit, his crossed arms loosening. “Well…”

“Yeah! So why don’t you just draw her a cat that says like, ‘you’re purr-fect’, or something?” Jay suggests. “That sounds like you.”

Lloyd slams his head against the table, once again accidentally dunking himself in glitter dust. He can’t bring himself to care this time, because the whole world apparently just knows him for terrible puns.

“Stop being so melodramatic, you’re going to remind her of her brother,” Nya clips. Lloyd chokes on his tongue, and dissolves into a fit of manic sputtering as Kai claps him on the back, encouraging him to breathe.

“—was just a joke, Lloyd, don’t take her seriously.”

“—time and place, Nya, time and place—!”

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

It takes several disastrous attempts and more than a few marker wars — Kai in particular is sporting some spectacular pink sharpie marks along the side of his face, and Lloyd’s got streaking red marks across his forearms as the price for protecting his own face — but Lloyd end up with one brightly-colored, cursive-lettered Valentine’s card for Rain.

He’s feeling pretty confident in it, actually. It says everything he wants it to say, while looking pretty but dignified, and it’s only got one cat on it, so he’s — he’s pretty sure Rain will like it. A lot more than any of his other disastrous attempts, he assures himself. Now all he’s gotta do is grab the flowers Nya made him promise to get, and according to both Wikihow and his family, he’ll have the perfect Valentine. Armed with that knowledge, Lloyd strides confidently for the kitchen table to grab an envelope.

Only to freeze dead when he comes face-to-face with Rain, who’s bent over studying said disastrous attempts from earlier, that he’s left out in full view on the kitchen table like a complete moron.

Rain’s currently got one of his first attempts in her hands, her finger tracing the little design he’d drawn. Her hair’s down right now, all silvery and smooth and falling over her face, so he can’t see her expression.

Lloyd is highly considering running for the hills by like, hurling himself out the kitchen window, when Rain turns around, the end her nose still red from the outside cold, freckles standing out more than usual on her cheeks. Lloyd freezes in place.

She holds up one of the ruined cards. “Are all these...for me?”

Lloyd’s soul makes the executively wise decision to exit his body right then.

“They’re — I — no, they’re for, uh—”

Lloyd’s mind backfires. Shoot, he can’t say they’re for someone else, they’ve got ‘I love you’ and other sappy stuff all over them, what’s he supposed to do—

“They’re, uh, for my grandmother.”

Rain raises an eyebrow. “Your grandmother…named Rain,” she says slowly, reading the name that’s brightly plastered everywhere.

“Her name’s Rain too,” Lloyd tries, weakly.

Rain raises her other eyebrow. She wordlessly holds up one of the cards, pointing to where “Rain Allira Valentine” is highlighted. Lloyd mentally makes a note to murder Kai later as her finger slides down to the “Mr. Rain Valentine” right below, her lips trembling as she tries to hold back a snicker.

“Um.” At least she’s laughing, Lloyd tells himself. She hasn't run off to the desert yet. “I have a better one for you, I swear. Those are just — really, really bad first attempts, which you were never supposed to see, ever.”

Please forget they ever existed, is on the tip of his tongue, but Rain’s expressions softens, her eyes fond as she looks from the cards to him.

“I don’t know, these are…kinda sweet,” she admits, her cheeks going a bit pink.

“Oh,” Lloyd says, his own face heating. “That’s! That’s good, I guess. I mean, this new one’s — it’s a whole lot better, though, and uh…” He frantically rubs the back of his head, trying to get his brain back online and working properly again. Unfortunately, the action sends a tiny shower of sparkles raining from his hand, and Lloyd remembers in horror that he never got that glitter dust out.

Rain smirks, biting back a laugh. “Hold on,” she says, stepping in close. “You’ve got some — here.”

She pushes a hand through his hair, her fingers gently tangling through the thick blond strands before pulling away, leaving her fingers stained in glitter dust. She gives a tiny snicker, then brushes at his hair with her other hand, neatly sweeping a shower of glitter dust from it before carefully tousling his hair back in place.

“There,” she says. “Now you don’t look as much like a disco ball.”

“Maybe I wanted to look like a disco ball,” Lloyd says, petulantly. “Lloyd Disco Ball Garmadon, that’s me.”

“Then I’d have to make you another Valentine’s card,” Rain says, and Lloyd finally spots the envelope she’s been keeping behind her back. “Because I definitely messed up your middle name, if that’s the case.”

Lloyd blinks rapidly. “Wait, you got me one?”

Rain freezes, looking unsure. “Um…yes? That’s kind of…the point, right? You give Valentine’s to people you lo—like—um, love.”

Lloyd’s definitely red now. “I-I probably wouldn’t know,” he finally stammers. “Darkley’s wasn’t too big on Valentine’s.”

Lloyd immediately wants to hit himself, because Rain’s here being sweet and talking about love, and he’s bringing up Darkley’s like a motor-mouthed moron. And now Rain looks sad, and is it too late for Lloyd to pitch himself out the window—?

“Well, lucky for you, I know all about it,” Rain suddenly says, firmly. “You’ll just have to spend the day with me, so I can give you the run-down.”

“That I can do,” Lloyd grins brightly in relief.

“It’s a date, then,” Rain beams, before her smile hitches in laughter. “And you, um, you have more glitter. On your cheek.”

Lloyd wipes quickly at his face. “Oh, come on — did I get it?”

“No, now you’re just — okay, stop, I’ll get it, hold on.”

Rain steps nearer again, brushing her thumb across his cheek once, then again. “There,” she nods satisfied. She doesn’t move back, though, standing close enough that Lloyd can count her freckles, and see every shade of teal in her eyes. There’s a hint of a smile left on her face, and Lloyd swallows. This would probably be like, the perfect time to—

“For FSM’s sake, kiss her, you moron, she’s totally set you up for it—”

Kai’s voice cuts off in a strangled choking sound as Nya throttles him while both Rain and Lloyd go scarlet, and Lloyd makes another mental note to murder Kai a second time later.

“Wanna go out?” Lloyd suggests hastily, his face flaming. “The candy’s probably not gonna be on sale yet, but I bet we can get someone to cut us a deal.”

“Yes,” Rain nods fervently. “Let’s — out. Go out. Of here, sounds good.”

“Great,” Lloyd says, then snatches both their jackets from the hook before fleeing, Rain trailing behind him as they sprint past the others, stifling laughter as Lloyd desperately avoids making eye contact with anyone. Rain’s muffling giggles too, though, and Lloyd can’t help breathing out a laugh as he flings open the doors tumbling out into the chilly February weather.

“So, I have a question,” he says, as their footsteps fall into pace down the street. “What do you think of like, rocks as a present?”

“Hm, I don’t know. Is it like, a cool rock?”

“I mean, hypothetically? Yeah, a super cool rock.”

“Well, if it’s super cool. Then that’d be a good one, I guess.”

“I knew it—!”

[sherrybaby14]

One Night with Number Two

Fandom: The Umbrella Academy

 Pairing:  Diego (Number two) x reader  (I try my hardest to keep physical traits outside of reader inserts, but for this story you are in your late twenties/early thirties)  

 Summary:  You return to your home town after Reginald Hargreeves dies and your plans to pay your respects don’t go as expected.

 Warnings:  this story involves NON-CONSENSUAL SEX (but it’s written sort of like dub-con/sex under the influence) but it definitely has consent issues.  Smut

 Words: 3500  

                When you heard Sir Reginald Hargreeves passed it was time to head home. While calling the man a dick was an understatement he was part of your childhood and always supported your parents.  

                The man had particular tastes when it came to everything, including his food, and would only use your father’s butcher shop for any cut of meat. His orders not only kept the business afloat but also put you through college and grad school.  Even if he was never nice to you, your family owed his.  

                Were they even a family?  He kept such a tight leash on them, but there was one who always accompanied him when orders were placed or picked up.  

                “Hi Y/N.” A thirteen-year-old boy ran up to the counter.

                 “Number two, don’t concern yourself with the proletariat.”  Sir Hargreeves tapped his cane. “I need extra steaks this week.  Two strips, four filets….”

                 Reginald continued on with his order, but your eyes glanced to number two. His eyes were wide as he stared right at you.  It made you so uncomfortable, you didn’t want to draw any ire from his father.

                The memories were like ghosts, surrounding you and playing out right in front of your eyes.

                “Hi Y/N.” The voice had dropped, but even at sixteen, he didn’t try to hide the love-sick puppy look. “Want to see a new trick?”

                 “Umm…can I take your order?” You picked up the pad of paper, still not sure what you ever did to draw Diego’s attention.

                 You glanced up and screamed as a knife whizzed by your ear.  Your entire body shook, unsure if you had been stabbed and couldn’t feel it from shock.  

                 “Number two!” Sir Hargreeves walked in the door. “Nobody likes a show-off. Y/N is not impressed and neither am I.”

                 “Sorry.” Diego stared right at you, not caring about disappointing his father. “Don’t worry Y/N. I’d never hurt you.”

                 “Get back to the car Number two.” Reginald turned his attention to the counter. “Today I would like seven chicken breasts, two pork loins…”

                 You didn’t look or listen to either of them as your body continued to shake with fear.

                Of course, there were other times the Hargreeves came into the shop, sometimes Diego would try to make small talk, but you never wanted that either.

                “Good afternoon Y/N.” Diego ran right up to the counter. “I missed you the last few times. Were you at school?”

                 “Yeah.” You nodded and went to grab an order sheet.

               “Today is my birthday.” He smiled and shoved his hands in his pockets. “I’m eighteen now, a man.”

                 “Oh?” You waited for his father to walk in. “Happy birthday.”

                 “Do you want to go out with me?  To celebrate?” His smile grew to show sparkling white teeth.

                 “No.” You blurted out the answer without thinking.

                 His smile dropped and he looked at the ground. You felt a pang of guilt, but not enough to change your response.  

                 “Maybe some other time then?” He rolled his shoulders and put on another grin, but you could see the pain behind his eyes.

                 “Maybe.”

                You noticed the pain in his eyes then, but it made you realize he always carried it, pain was life for that man, and you craved a more pleasant experience.  

                “Y/N.” The door chimed and you looked up to see Diego.

                 The Umbrella Academy had disbanded, but still, he stayed in the city. Out of all the members he was the one you wished would leave the most.

                 “Hello.” You grabbed your pencil, ready to take his order and speed along your interaction.

                 “I heard a rumor, you’re going away to school?” He shoved his hands in his pockets, even though he was twenty now he still had the same mannerisms from his younger days.

                 “That’s right.” You held your chin high and relaxed your shoulders, not trying to show how freaked you were that he knew.

                 “Springland has a low crime rate.  It’s a good choice.  You’ll be safe there.”  He dipped his head and locked eyes with you.

                 A tremor went through you.  Not over the stature of the man or what he was capable of, that he knew the city you were headed to and his approval felt more like a threat.  

                Your parents told you he still frequented their shop and asked about you every time.  They never understood why you wouldn’t give the man a chance.  They also didn’t understand why you never returned home unless you had to and then avoided working the shop at all costs.

                Fear was probably the easiest answer. To them, Diego was a gentleman, but to you, there was always something more sinister beneath.

                You had walked passed The Umbrella Academy home millions of times but never stepped foot inside.  As you raised your hand to knock you hoped that stayed true.  That Pogo would take your condolences and send you on your way, but in your gut, you knew a certain member of the academy wasn’t going to let you get away so easily.

                The sound of your knock echoed across the doors. You debated on setting the flowers on the stoop, knowing you weren’t going to knock twice.  

               When you bent to drop the bouquet the door flung open.  You glanced up to lock eyes with a face you hadn’t seen in years.

                “Not interested.  We’re in mourning right now, are you that insensitive?” Number four popped a hip as you stood up. “Wait, you look familiar.  Flower girl?”

                “You look like shit.”  Again word blurt hit you and you covered your mouth.  

                His jaw dropped and you watched his glossy eyes try and place you.

                “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that your father just died.”  You held out the flowers.

                “Klaus who is it?” A melodic voice came from behind him.

                “A sassy bitch.” His eyes ran up and down your body. “But someone who actually speaks her mind, unlike anyone else in this hellhole.”

                The door pulled open all the way and you sucked in your breath.  She was more beautiful in person. Allison Hargreeves had long dropped the nickname Number three.  

                “Y/N. You look great.”  She stepped outside and gave you a hug.  

                You were shocked she knew your name.  In fact, you didn’t think any of them outside of Diego would remember you.  

                “I’m sorry for your loss.” Allison pulled away and you handed her the flowers. “Your father carried quite an impact.”

                “Y/N…now I remember, Diego’s little obsession.” Klaus leaned against the doorframe. “I understand why he liked going to the butcher so much, tell us, did he ever get that strip steak he was after?”

                “Klaus.” Allison elbowed him and moved to block him. “Ignore my brother. We’re sort of having a little remembrance party inside. Do you want to come in?”

               “I’ve gotta get going.” You pointed your thumb behind you.

                “Nonsense.” Allison grabbed your hand and pulled you inside. “Everyone will be so excited to see you.”  

                Even if you wanted to resist she was moving to fast for you to respond. It was an irrational fear, but you couldn’t shake the feeling that as soon as you crossed the threshold you were being led to your doom.

                Shouting filled the house. They were muffled by the many walls, but it was undeniable.

                “Are you sure this is a party?” You looked back at the door.

                “Things between siblings get a little heated at times.” Allison put her arm on the small of your back and guided you forward.

                “The only way to survive being a Hargreeves is to party all the time.”  Klaus scooped up a bottle of vodka sitting on a random table.  

                “I can’t stay long.” Run. Get out of here. That was all your brain screamed. “Just a quick hello.”  

                “In and out.” Allison smiled and nodded.

                The shouting grew closer and even though you couldn’t make out the words you recognized one of the voices.  Diego was here.  It had been ten years since you’d seen each other.  He wouldn’t pay the slightest attention to you now.  You were sure of it.  

                Klaus moved ahead and pushed open the door.

                “Attention fellow Miserables, we have a guest.” The addict did a bow as Allison walked you into the room.

                There was drinking involved, but this did not look like a party.  Vanya sat on a couch with her hands folded in her lap.  Klaus lay down on another, crossing his ankles.  Your vision had no other choice but to look at the center.

                Luther was larger than you remembered, but his eyes narrowed on you with annoyance.  You weren’t wanted here.  You looked to the next person knowing who it would be.  Diego’s features went from anger to softness.  His eyes widened and lips parted.  There was no doubt he remembered you.  

                “Y/N,” he spoke in a whisper, but the room had grown so quiet it may as well have been a scream.  

                Everyone was staring at you, but none as intently as Diego.  You were that little girl all over again, stuck behind the counter unsure what you had done to draw this attention.  You squeezed the bouquet and snapped back to reality.

                “I brought flowers.” You held them out. “I’m sorry for your loss.”  

                “Thank you.” Diego took three huge strides and he was right in front of you. “That’s very kind.”  

                “Why don’t you put them in some water.” Allison was still touching your back.  

                Diego took the flowers and you dropped your eyes. Thankfully he walked back into the room, giving you an out without having to walk past him.  

                “I have to leave.” You spun around. “Really, I am sorry.”  

                Allison placed her other hand on your shoulder and pulled you close.  Her lips were right next to your ear.

                “I heard a rumor that you want to have sex with Diego all night long.”

                The words echoed inside your head and before your mind could even form the word no she had pulled away.  Her beautiful face smiled back at you and she gave you a wink.

                Luther almost charged at you, making you recoil as he reached out and grabbed Allison.  

                “What did you do?” He asked through gritted teeth.

                “Nothing.” Allison pulled her arm out of his grasp. “Y/N wanted to see Diego and now maybe the two of you can take the night off from trying to kill each other.”  

                You didn’t really care what they were talking about.  All of a sudden you only had one thing on your mind.  The siblings continued to squabble behind you, but you walked further into the room, now with a specific target in mind.  

                Diego walked back from behind the partition, the vase of flowers in his hands.  He was clad in all black, dressed for a mission.  It accentuated his body and you found yourself fantasizing about what it looked like without the tight clothing.

                You pictured rippling muscles on his taut body. It made you like your lips in anticipation of what you hoped was to come.  

                “Y/N, it’s been a long time.” Diego set the vase on a table as you continued to approach him.

                “Too long.” You stopped right in front of him and put your fingers on his chest, needing to touch him.  

                Diego took a small step back but stopped as his eyes locked with yours.  His beautiful browns swirled with confusion.  But confusion or not having him look at you sent a wave of heat down your body.  

                You wanted to rip his clothes off, throw him to the ground, and ride him.  The image made you bite back a whimper.  

                “Are you alright?” Diego rested his hand on your shoulder. “Are they scaring you?”

                He looked passed you towards his siblings. Luther and Allison were still fighting about something, but you had blocked them out.

                “Can we go somewhere private?” While your desire for the man changed you weren’t sure you wanted him bad enough to put on a show for his siblings unless Diego insisted.  

                “Yeah.”  He looked back at you. “Sure.”  

                You slid your hand across his chest and moved your body so your head was next to him, his arm flung over your shoulder with the movement.  

                “I’m sorry you have to see the fighting.  Me and Luther, now Luther and Allison.” Diego led you away, through a second door in the back of the room. “It wasn’t how I hoped our reunion would go.”  

                “You guys don’t see each other often?” You brought your other hand behind Diego and rested it across his back on his hip.

               “No.” Diego shook his head. “Enough about me. How have you been? I’m surprised to see you.”  

                You didn’t want to spend all night talking and tried to think of the best response that was going to land you in bed sooner.

                “Well, I’ve been thinking maybe I’ve been away too long.” Your footsteps echoed off the open ceiling as you toured the main corridor. “Maybe it was time to stop fighting and come home.”

                “Stop fighting?” Diego laughed. “You’re not a fighter Y/N.”  

                His arm slipped from around your shoulder.  You were in another sitting room.  It wasn’t the bedroom you hoped for, but it would do.

                “I meant to stop fighting this.” You clasped your hands together as Diego turned to look at you.  

                One of his eyebrows was raised and his head tilted to the side.  

                “Fighting this?” He pointed between the two of you. “Y/N, what is going on? I’ve been chasing you since I was a little boy and you’ve never shown the slightest interest.”  

                “Because I was scared.” You lunged forward and put one hand on his chest and the other around his neck. “But I’m not anymore. When your brother vanished I was terrified that being with you would be dangerous, now I see that there is danger everywhere.  And I’m not interested in denying this any longer.”  

                Diego studied your face. Being so close to him, having him look at you, it filled your body with more need.  You clenched your thighs together, certain you were getting so turned on you were going to soak your panties.  

                “Hmpf.” His shoulders shrugged, but before disappointment could spread his arms were around your waist.  

                He hoisted you in the air as if you were nothing. You wrapped your legs around his waist and pressed against him as your lips slammed into his.  

                Both of you opened your mouths at the same time and your tongues started a war for power.  You brought your other hand behind his head and smashed him closer and you ground your hips down on him.  

                The action almost made him fall over but gave you the leverage to take control of the kiss.  His tongue was amazing as it worked against yours.  But you let out a whine and started rocking your hips, needing more than just a kiss.  

                “Woah Y/N.”  Diego tried to pull his head back, but you kept yanking him forward. “Isn’t this a little fast?”  

                “I’d say eighteen years is long enough.”  You dropped your legs from his waist and grabbed the bottom of his shirt. “I don’t think I can wait for a second longer.”  

                His shirt was some sort of combat gear and you weren’t going to figure out how to remove it without his help.  Lucky for you his lips dipped back to yours and he started undressing.  

                You decided to echo his movements and took off your own shirt between kisses.  Diego grabbed your waist and pulled your forward, kissing your bare décolletage as he kicked his shoes off.  

                “You have no idea how long I’ve wanted this.” He nipped at your skin. “Fantasized about this. Dreamed about this.”  

                “Me either.”  In all reality, you’d only wanted this for about five minutes, but those five minutes had been excruciating.  

                Both of you clumsily undressed, while still trying to touch each other, press your skin to skin, place hard, eager kisses on the other’s body.  

                Finally, both of you were naked, except your bra. Diego reached around your back and unclipped the clasp.  Your mouths found each other again and you continued kissing as the garment slipped away, leaving you totally bare to each other.  

                “Grrr.”  Diego reached out and grabbed your hips, pulling you closer and dragging you to the couch.  

                He laid you down and you pulled his waist as you spread your legs, wanting him to settle between them, needing his cock deep inside of you.  

               He moved backward so he was standing over your naked form.  There was a deep hunger in his eyes as he took you all in.  

                Your body was so needy you couldn’t stop wiggling your hips.  You held your arms open to him.  

                “Please.  I need you.” You grabbed his wrists. “Please.”

                “I want this to be perfect Y/N.  As perfect as you are.”  Diego licked his lips.  

                “And I don’t want to wait any longer.”  You tugged his arm.  “Please, I”ll do anything.  I just need you inside me.  No more waiting.”  

                Diego let you pull him down.  You spread your legs as he settled between them.  You groaned this wasn’t what you wanted. You needed his cock at your entrance, but instead, he kept too much distance as his lips went to your shoulder and hand snaked down your body.  

                His fingertips felt like fire as they went down your stomach.  

                “No more teasing.”  You whined.  “I’m yours. Please, Diego.”  

                “The things it does to me when I hear you say my name.” Diego dipped further and cupped your pussy. “I’d never hurt you.  I need to make sure you’re ready to take me.”  

                You lifted your head and looked between your bodies.  His cock was a monster.  Normally you wouldn’t think it possible for your body to handle something so huge, but the sight only flared your excitement.  

                The more he could fill you the better.  

                “I’m so empty.  Please.”  Sweat was starting to cover your body.  You dug your fingertips into his hips, hoping you could guide him inside of you.

                “Soon baby.”  One of his fingers slid inside of you with ease.  It wasn’t what you wanted but it was enough to make you arch your back, pressing your chest to his.  

                “You’re so wet Y/N.” Diego started pumping his finger. “Soaked.”  

                “For you.”  You tried to lift your hips with his movement. “You do this to me.”  

                Diego let out a growl and removed his finger. Then you felt his head at your pussy, sending desperation through your body.  He pushed inside and your muscles tightened on instinct as if you were trying to draw him deeper.  

                “You have to relax Y/N.”  Diego stilled. “I don’t want to hurt you.”  

                “You could never hurt me.”  You dug your fingers further into his hips, encouraging him to push forward.  

                He started to slide in and you knew what he meant by not hurting you.  Your walls struggled to stretch around his girth, making your breathing go frantic. Again he stopped and whipped the hair off your sticky forehead.  

                “Relax baby.” He placed a light kiss on your lips. “Let me in.”  

                You nodded, understanding what he meant. Even though your body was in overdrive you took a few breaths and willed the tension out of your muscles. You wanted to be an equal participant in the sex, but Diego needed control for the first portion.  

                “That’s it.”  He kissed your cheek and continued his descent into your pussy. “Oh, you’re so tight Y/N.”  

                His words made you tense up again, but you were quick to relax.  Your body was shaking from desire, the slight burn his cock brought to your pussy, and hearing him give you any sort of praise.  

                By the time he was into the hilt, you were back to panting, wiggling underneath him, needing more.   Instead of moving he pushed his lips to yours and parted them, diving his tongue into your mouth.  

                You brought your hands up behind his head and pulled him closer.  He pulled his cock back a small bit and then re-entered.  It made you moan into his mouth.  

                Each time he left your pussy a little further and slid back with a little more force, but he never broke your kiss.  

                Soon you found yourself rolling your hips to meet his thrusts, your bodies moving in a perfect dance.  The way he was rubbing against you started to turn the desire into desperation.  All your want gathered in your core, the fire grew bigger.  

                You moaned underneath him and he picked up speed. It only fed the flames.  You continued moaning, kissing, scratching at his body, unsure you would ever be able to have enough of this man.  Until finally the flames ignited into a giant explosion.  

                Your head fell back with a scream as your toes curled.  It was the most intense orgasm of your life.  Your walls convulsed around him as Diego let out a grunt and pushed deep inside you one final time, covering your womb in his seed.  

                “Shit Y/N.”  His head was right next to yours.  “I should have pulled out. I couldn’t control myself.”  

                “I’m on the pill.”  You didn’t want him to worry about anything.  

                His head nodded into the couch, he turned to his side and flipped you in the process so he was spooning you, his arm draped around your waist, his fingers running little circles over your skin.  

                “I never knew you felt the same way…” He kissed your shoulder and you turned your head to look up at him as he rested on his elbow.  “All these years we wasted.”  

                You gave him a reassuring smile, fairly certain if he knew you’d only felt the same way since this evening it would ruin the mood.

                “I’ve only ever loved two people.  My mom and you.”  He brushed a piece of hair out of your face.  

                You rolled onto your back and reached out, grabbing his face you pulled him down for a kiss.  He moved on top of you and was eager to return the gesture.  

                Love wasn’t something you had given a thought. Right now the only future you cared about was the immediate one, and all you wanted was to have sex with Diego all night.  

~~~ 

               The soreness between your legs was the first thing you noticed when you woke.  It had been a while and you were sure you were going to walk with a limp.  The thought made all sleepiness drain away and your eyes pop open.  

                You were on a strange couch, being cuddled with an arm across your side.  Heavy breathing told you your partner was still asleep.  

                Dread filled you as you turned to see Diego. What the fuck?  How did this happen?  But you wanted it to.  You wanted nothing more than to spend the entire night fucking him.  

                Memories of your begging, him trying to get you to take a break, drink some water, but all you could do was try and entice him into sleeping with you again.  How many times was it five? Maybe six? How many orgasms did you have?  

                What was the matter with you?  The man terrified you!  Why in the world did you want him so badly last night?  You had no idea, but right now you knew you had to get out of here and never return.  Even though you were begging you never felt so violated.  

               You stood up and found your pile of clothes. As you slipped on the pants you heard him stir.

                “Morning beautiful.” Diego yawned. “You wore me out last night, come back a lie-down.”  

               You ignored him as you pulled on your bra, unsure you could dress fast enough.  

                “Y/N, what’s the rush?” You heard him sit up.  

                Tears started to sting your eyes.  How could you have been so out of control? And with him?

                “You don’t have to leave.”  He was walking over to you.  

               You got on your shirt just as his hand touched your shoulder.

                “GET AWAY FROM ME.” You snapped out of his grip and almost fell.  

               His eyes were wide and his mouth hung open in horror.  You were trying to hold back tears as you picked up your shoes and purse, not bothering to put them on.  

                “I don’t understand.” Diego grabbed his pants and pulled them on. “Last night, you were…we were…talk to me.”

                “I just need to get home.”  You ran through the door to the room.  Of course, it led to an unfamiliar hallway.  “This place is like a fucking maze.”  

               You didn’t know whether to head left or right. It was like everything was blurry last night and now you were having a hard time focusing.

                “Let me drive you.” Diego was hot on your heels.

               “I’ll walk.”  Shame filled you as you realized you were literally about to do the walk-of-shame.  

                You started down to your right.  

                “Y/N. Please.” He reached out again.

                “I SAID DON’T TOUCH ME.”  You tried to get away from his grasp, but in the process twisted and hit the floor.  

                He looked down at you with sadness, but you didn’t want him to look at you at all.  You turned to stand up again and his features hardened.  

                “ALLISON,” Diego yelled and took off down the hallway.

                “What? It’s early?”  Allison appeared in one of the doorways.  

                “WHAT DID YOU DO?” Diego yelled in her face.  

                “I thought you could use some fun.” Allison let out a yawn.

                “Does it look like Y/N’s having fun?” Diego pointed toward you.

               “It sure sounded like she was last night,” Allison smirked.

                You felt sick to your stomach and didn't want to hear the rest of the conversation.  You picked yourself up and walked passed both of them, keeping your head down.

                “Fix this.” Diego’s voice was almost as scary as he was.  

                “How?” Allison did not sound like she cared for a moment.

                You left the hallway and found yourself back into the main vestibule of the Umbrella Academy.  Your heart lurched as you saw the front door.  The stairs were around the corner to your left and you wasted no time making your way over there.

                “Y/N?”  Allison’s sweet voice called from behind you.  “Y/N, wait!”

                You didn’t understand what happened but had a feeling that you didn’t want to know.  All you wanted was to get out of this house.  You broke into a sprint, arms outstretched ready to pull open the door. Your hand was on the knob and you gave it a tug, only for a hand to appear next to your head slamming it shut.

                Before you could let out a cry a voice whispered in your ear:

               “I hear a rumor that you’re deeply in love with Diego and never want to leave him.”  

               The sentence vibrated inside of you and a warmth spread through your veins.  Why were you running again?  

                “Y/N, baby?”  Diego jogged down the stairs, pulling his shirt over his head. “Are you alright?”  

                “Yeah.”  You blinked away the confusion.  “I don’t know what came over me.”

                “Hey, you’re fine.” Diego pulled you into a hug. You practically melted against his chest, never feeling safer in your life.  “Let’s get you back to bed though. I think we could both use some sleep.”  

                That sounded like heaven and you nodded your head. This was exactly where you were supposed to be, cuddled in his embrace.  Safe. Loved.

                “You’re welcome.”  Allison’s voice carried a snide tone.  

               “Diego?” You looked up at him.

                “Yeah, baby?” He cupped your cheek.

                “Have I told you I love you?” The words sounded so right.  

                “Hmmm.” He squeezed you tight. “I’ve known you loved me for a long time now, it’s nice to hear you admit it to yourself.”

                You sighed and let him lead you back into the house.  You were so lucky to have a man who knew you so well.  

[starblazerm31]

Rasha, Jaya, and Navdeen Headcanons

This is miserably late, and I deeply apologize to @drawski​.  But as per request, here are some headcanons of @drawski’s Arcana characters!!!

Rasha 

Nadia let Rasha resume her guard training.  It’s not like it was difficult, Rasha got right back into the swing of things.  Muscle memory, perhaps?

Nadia thinks she looks STUNNING in her guard uniform.  Upon seeing Rasha, Nadia will take in a deep breath through her nose and slowly let it out of her mouth.  No matter how many times Nadia sees it, it always takes her by surprise.

Asra has seen Rasha’s secret drawings.  You bet.  He’s a sneaky little boi and knows exactly where Rasha hides her art.  He adores it.

Nadia has gotten used to the way Rasha will disappear into the kitchens when there is an event at the palace.  But after a while, she will have someone drag Rasha to her room so that she can get changed.  Nadia is not facing this whole thing alone, thank you very much.

Asra has to clear the kitchen for Rasha when she has decided to cook.  He knows that he will just get in the way of the artist.  Besides, watching her cook is just as exciting as eating her food afterward.

Both Nadia and Asra love to dance with Rasha.  They love her energy and sometimes have difficulty keeping up with her.  Asra adores how Rasha can sweep him off of his feet.

Both Nadia and Asra understand Rasha’s relationship with Navdeen...but that doesn’t stop them from cringing when watching the two of them spar sometimes.  Yeek...that was a really hard strike…

Jaya

Julian LOVES the fact that Jaya likes to travel.  They go on many amazing trips together and raise a lot of hell along the way.

Sea shanties?  Sea shanties.

These two are a real learning experience on both ends.  Julian has his insecurities that he has to surpass.  Jaya has a temper.  These negatives tend to clash at times, and it’s a feat of true love to make things work.  With Jaya, Julian learns to be more self-confident and self-aware.  Jaya learns to control her outbursts.

Turns into a blushy mess when Jaya gives him a gift, no matter what it is.  He doesn’t understand what he could have done to deserve anything from her.

Oh, the brawls those two have gotten into.  One time, they got into a fight at the Rowdy Raven, and Julian ended up losing one of his boots.  Jaya picked it up and used it as a flail.  The “thwuck!” sound of that boot hitting this big guy over the head made other patrons let out an “Ooooooh!!!”

Julian is her biggest fanboy and will sit in awe when she talks about someplace amazing she has been or something awesome she has done.  And he wants details.

They have a little game they like to play when they’re traveling together.  “Who can get the best price.”  They will each approach a merchant, separately, and see who can get the best price for a particular item.  Whoever loses buys dinner.

Navdeen

Navdeen and Muriel, chilling on the sidelines while Rasha and Nadia/Asra dance. Navdeen:  You want to dance?  Muriel: No.  Navdeen: Yeah, me neither.  *continues to watch*

Gets Rasha flustered when she’s telling a story with embellishments and he pipes up with “ACTUALLY, that’s not the way it really happened.”

Asra has perfected a “Knockout” tea for Navdeen.  It tastes amazing, has a wonderful aroma, and knocks Navdeen out cold when he’s not sleeping.  When he wakes up, he’ll critique the tea and make suggestions on how to make it better.  Asra won’t listen, though, because the additions have caffeine, and the whole point of the tea is to make Navdeen sleep.

Ruffled Rasha’s feathers once when he crafted a beautiful bouquet for Nadia that left Nadia speechless.  “It was a new idea I had, and I figured it should go to someone with sublime taste in florals.”

Nadia calls on Navdeen when she has a visiting dignitary who is hard of hearing but knows sign language.  He’s become the court interpreter.

Once Asra forgot the gift he was going to give Nadia for her birthday at Muriel’s hut.  Navdeen whipped up an amazing tea blend for Asra to give her, and Nadia LOVED. IT.  He didn’t mention where it actually came from; he let Asra take the credit.

He and Muriel have talked for HOURS about how life just sucks.  It leaves the two of them feeling a whole lot better, actually.  Pessimist vent therapy.

[tenroseforeverandever]

The Perfect Blend Chapter 2

Characters: Tenth Doctor (aka James Noble); Rose Tyler; Clara Oswald; Amy Pond; Jeanne Poisson; Donna Noble; Sylvia Noble; Wilfred Mott

Tags: Human AU; fake relationship AU; coffee shop AU; stalkerish!Reinette; hurt/comfort; angst; romance; fluff; Christmas; New Year; New Year’s kiss

Story Summary:

Trying to escape from an predatory ex-girlfriend who will not accept their break-up, James Noble (aka The Doctor) finds himself in a coffee shop where he meets a barista (aka Rose Tyler) who makes him the perfect cup of tea and lends a sympathetic ear to his tale of woe.

Chapter Summary: James successfully manages to avoid Jeanne in the days leading up to Christmas, but when he arrives at his family’s home for Christmas dinner, as surprise awaits him.

Chapter Notes: My love for my betas knows no bounds. @rose--nebula and mrsbertucci, thank you so much for taking time out of your busy holiday schedule to help me make this chapter better.

In addition, this chapter needed a wee bit of help from my fantastic French-speaking Fangirls… just to make things sound more natural: @melusine0811 kindly read over this story and gave me some brilliant suggestions; and @elialys also gave me some advice through the grapevine. Merci, mes chéries!

Finally, many thanks to a bunch of the Fangirls for brainstorming with me! I am surrounded by brilliant women!

Read also at: AO3; Tsp; FF

CHAPTER 2

James was unreasonably proud of himself. Somehow over the last few days, he had managed to avoid Jeanne almost completely. Weeell, after all, he was a genius and one of the hallmarks of a genius was being able to think outside the proverbial box. In order to avoid run-ins with his rapacious ex-girlfriend, he had determined he simply needed to be outside his box.

In short, he needed to be where he was least expected to be.

James Noble had gone Christmas shopping.

As much as he hated navigating the throngs of humanity and the capitalist over-commercialization that was an unfortunate feature of the Christmas season in the 21st Century, shopping not only hid him from Jeanne Poisson, but it meant that his family would actually receive proper gifts from him this year, and not just ‘gifts-in-kind’.

Aunt Sylvia had not been impressed with his in-kind gift of the previous year, improvements to her old blender. Although to be honest, he couldn’t really blame her. It had leaped off the counter, spewing her (disgusting) pea soup everywhere and nearly taking Donna’s toes off when the blades, in a bid for freedom, had rushed across the kitchen floor and torn through her slippers. This year, Aunt Sylvia would receive a brand new, state-of-the-art blender (completely unimproved by him), and Donna was getting a new pair of steel-toed slippers (extensively improved by him) as an extra precaution against rogue blenders, and with the added benefit of protecting his cousin from stubbing her toes.

Gramps was the only one in the family who truly appreciated James’ attempts at tinkering, but this year, instead of making him a cobbled-together gadget, James had bought him an ultra-high-tech, backyard telescope. No tinkering required. His old spyglass had taken a beating over the years, and while James had (mostly) managed to repair (and enhance) it multiple times, there was no doubt it needed replacing. James saw it as his familial duty to provide the dear old man with a means to escape the constant harping from his daughter and get lost among the stars whenever he needed to.

On James’ first day of hiding, after responding tersely to a text message from Jeanne, hoping she would finally cotton-on to the idea that he was no longer interested in pursuing any sort of relationship with her, he had gone into tech-silent mode, keeping his phone turned off, and only occasionally responding to emails from his Grandad and Donna.

Despite trying hard to stay hidden in plain sight, James had still managed to find time to return to his usual habitat, working in his lab (improving Donna’s slippers, among other things,) but he had always slunk in by the service hallways, after hours, and made very sure that no one had seen him coming or going. He even slept on the sofa in his office at the back of the lab to avoid detection.

All in all, he had had a rather productive few days.  

He had only two regrets: one, that he hadn’t had the guts to confront Jeanne in person; and, two, that he had also been too cowardly to return to Pete’s Coffee Dimension, even though there had been plenty of times over the days of his seclusion that a good cuppa (and a smile from the pretty barista) would have gone down a treat.  

That was him, though: a coward every time.

His mind had been drawn to the girl from the coffee shop more times than he would like to admit. But despite the lovely blonde barista’s friendly demeanor, he was quite certain she would never want to see him again, after the way he had practically vomited his tale of woe at her. He was frankly embarrassed by the entire event, despite how much better he’d felt having had someone to share his frustrations with. It had not been the best first impression, all told. She must have thought he was nothing short of a spineless catastrophe.

She wouldn’t have been wrong.

Not that it mattered. He was not interested in getting involved with any girl at the moment, no matter how kind and smart and lovely she was. He was still reeling from his experiences with Jeanne, and he’d be doing the barista a favour by not getting to know her any better. With his emotions running high at the time, he hadn’t even bothered to find out her name. Clearly, he was utterly useless at initiating (never mind maintaining) a healthy, romantic relationship with any woman.

And yet, he couldn’t stop thinking about her: how easy she was to talk to; how her bright, brown eyes had gazed at him with compassion and understanding; and in that brief moment, when she had covered his hand with hers, he’d felt as though her soul had touched his.

But then she’d withdrawn her hand, and there’d been a moment of emptiness and awkwardness before he’d resumed telling her about his early infatuation with Jeanne. But she’d still listened to him and it seemed she’d understood him in a way no one else had ever been able to.

… It felt like she could read into my soul and see how lonely I was… The memory of the words he had spoken to her about Jeanne’s effect on him flared in his mind.

He bolted upright from his place on the lab office sofa, mental alarms thrashing against the inside of his skull. It was all so frighteningly familiar, the draw he had to the barista. He couldn’t allow himself to be sucked into another toxic, infatuation-driven relationship. No, he would stay away from Pete’s Coffee Dimension and the pretty barista at all costs.

He dragged a hand through his hair and glanced at the clock on the wall. Eleven o’clock in the morning. December 25th. He hauled himself off the sofa. He needed to get back to his flat for a proper shower and some fresh clothes before heading over to his family for Christmas tea.

 A few hours later, he was staggering up the front walk of his family home under the weight of several brightly wrapped parcels and a pretty Christmas bouquet he had picked up for Aunt Sylvia. He was under no illusion that she would be furious at him for his unnotified disappearance over the last few days and would be hell-bent on making his life miserable while he was trapped under her roof. He understood it was just her rather unique way of showing how much she cared but he still hoped the flowers (and the new blender) would help to blunt her sharp tongue a little.

The front door flew open just as he was juggling his packages so he could reach the doorbell. “Oh, you owe me big time, Space-dunce,” Donna snapped, standing before him, red hair crackling around her face, hands on her hips. “I’ve had to entertain that psychopath all day.”

“Happy Christmas to you too, Donna.” He offered his cousin a bemused, sarcastic smile as he tried to sort out what she’d meant by her strange declaration.

Aunt Sylvia’s severe face appeared in the doorway from behind Donna’s left shoulder. “Oh, he’s bothered to show up, has he? After days of us not knowing where he was, bearing actual gifts, no less. No doubt they’ll all kill us in our sleep.”

“Oi!” James shifted his weight to balance the pile of gifts more effectively, “they will not kill you or even maim you. And I’m sorry about my radio silence, but I was trying to avoid–”

“Mon cheri! James! T’es arrivé!”

“–Jeanne…” He blinked in disbelief at the face that appeared over Donna’s other shoulder. (Presumably Donna’s aforementioned psychopath.)

“Oh, and you brought to me des fleurs,” she exclaimed, pushing past Donna and plucking the bouquet off the top of his pile. “They are magnifique! Merci!”

“Wait! No! Urrrrghh…”

 “Oh, they are lovely!” Sylvia remarked. “It would be nice if someone brought me flowers once in a while…” She shot James a pointed look.

“But… I… urrrrghh…”

“Oh, I have missed you so much, James!” Jeanne leaned over the top of the gifts and planted her mouth over James’ in an impassioned kiss. He recoiled and sputtered as she finally broke away, desperate to wipe the taste of her from his lips.

“How about we let him come in?” Sylvia suggested. “Come dear,” she led Jeanne away, “let’s put these flowers in some water, shall we? James, hurry up, then!”

Jeanne tossed James a coy smile over her shoulder as she disappeared into the house with Sylvia, her eyes smoldering. “See you soon, mon cheri. I cannot wait to get my hands on you properly…”

Donna fixed him with a rather frightening gleam in her eye, then leaned toward him, jostling the packages in his arms, nearly causing him to drop them. As she wiped Jeanne’s lipstick from the side of his mouth with her thumb, she whispered in his ear, “Great. Outer space. Dunce.”

“But…”

“Oh, just get in here,” she hissed, “you bloody idiot! Gramps is waiting for you!”

“I am trying, but someone seems to be blocking my way.” He made a show of shoving past her, down the hallway and into the lounge. “You gonna help me, or what?” he called back to her.

“There he is! There’s our boy!” Gramps stood up from his armchair next to the fireplace, arms outstretched, to greet James. He was wearing two mismatched sets of reindeer antler headbands.

“Thought you’d be happy, Dad, now that he’s here,” Sylvia snarked, coming into the room from the kitchen with a vase full of flowers and Jeanne in tow.

“Too right, I am!”

“James, you should have heard him moaning, wondering when you’d turn up.” She rolled her eyes and glanced over at her father, who was helping divest James of some of his parcels. She huffed, “And, Dad, would you take those bloody things off your head?”

“No, I shan’t! It’s Christmas.”

“And maybe put on some nicer clothes. Honestly! We have company; you’d think you could dress up a bit.”

James opened his mouth, ready to leap to his Grandad’s defense, but the old man beat him to it. He straightened up from where he was stuffing one of James’ gifts under the tree and fixed his gaze on Sylvia. “Well, this is my house, young lady, and the company,” he nodded toward Jeanne, “will have to be content with me dressed as I am. It’s Christmas and I’m comfortable. So there!”

James glanced at Jeanne who was observing Gramps with a critical eye. “Oui,” she conceded in her typical condescending tone, “it is your home, I suppose. Of course, you can wear what you like.”

James glared at her as she pursed her lips in distaste and felt his heart wrench when he saw the hurt on his dear Gramps’ face at her contempt. “Quite right too!” James declared, smiling fondly at Gramps as the older man took another armload of gifts from him. He was wearing his traditional Christmas berry-red cardigan over a checked, red and green shirt, and his usual brown trousers. The outfit was a bit shabby, but familiar and comfortable, a Christmas day staple.

“Oh, I should say,” Donna piped up, entering the room and taking the last of the gifts from James. “Christmas is supposed to be about family and giving and tradition, yeah, and anyone who thinks otherwise can stuff it.”

Jeanne gasped and uttered a French oath under her breath, and Sylvia barked, “Donna Noble!”

Gramps mollified Donna, “Oh, sweetheart, that’s enough. Nothing to get fussed about. Everyone is entitled to their opinion.”

“Their wrong opinion…” Donna grumbled just loud enough for James to hear.

“Let’s all just try to get along, yeah. How about we open some pressies and open a bottle of Christmas cheer?”

James took the opportunity to pull a Santa hat from the deep pockets of his coat. He arranged it on his head with a broad (if forced) grin. “Sounds perfect! I’ll be Santa, then, shall I?”

He looked pointedly at Donna, who grudgingly got the message. “And I’ll be barkeep!”

“Try not to poison Aunt Sylvia or Jeanne, hmmm?” James muttered privately to her.

“Oh, I’ll let Mum live… this year. That French bint, though… no guarantees. And let’s face it, it would solve any number of problems.”

James choked back a chuckle and situated himself on the floor by the unusually posh-looking Christmas tree.

“A fine plan,” Jeanne sniffed as she promenaded toward the sofa. There she stopped and swept off one of the seats with a disdainful hand, before perching herself coquettishly on the edge.

James had to bite his tongue to keep himself from scolding the blonde upstart and a low rumble emanated from Donna.

“James, come ‘ere and sit with me,” Jeanne demanded, patting the cushion beside her. “I’ve been so lonely without you by my side, and it’s unseemly to sit on the floor like that.”

“No thanks,” he replied with a forced smile, “I’m fine right where I am.”

“You are playing (… ‘ow you say?) ‘ard-to-get, comme d’hab. T’es filou!” she simpered, making James feel as though he might vomit. He had just opened his mouth to contradict her, when she spoke again in an imperious tone to Donna. “And I will have a Kir Royale.”

Donna’s eyes narrowed, shooting daggers at Jeanne. “Oh, I’ll just go fetch the champagne and Cassis, then, shall I?” Sarcasm dripped from her words. “It should be right next to the caviar and quails’ eggs. Try again, Blondie.”

“I’ll have a martini, Donna,” Sylvia quickly interjected, her gaze darting between the two fiery young women. “You know how I like it.”

“Oh, I suppose, if you do not ‘ave the Cassis, a martini could be refreshing,” Jeanne conceded. “Very dry. Shaken, not stirred, with two small olives, exactement. And don’t use one of those ‘orrible wooden picks. They change the flavour of the drink. Plastic only for me.”

“I’ll give you a wooden pick, right through the heart,” James heard Donna mumble as she turned to the sideboard to mix the drinks, and he stifled another laugh. “Gramps, a scotch, neat, for you?”

“Right you are, my darling!”

“What about you, Spaceman?”

“I’ll just grab a beer from the fridge,” he said, jumping up and moving to the kitchen. “Want one?”

“Yeah, please.”

As he cracked the two bottles open, he asked, “Glass?”

“Nah, the bottle’s fine, ta!” Donna’s response elicited a pair of identical haughty sighs from Jeanne and Sylvia. James and Donna smirked at each other when he reappeared from the kitchen, and they clinked their bottles together in triumph.

“Right then! Time for presents!” James returned to his place by the tree, took a swig from his bottle, and adjusting his Santa hat, pulled a present toward him. “Aunt Sylvia! This one’s for you!”

 James was living his worst nightmare, trapped in the same house as Jeanne, who believed he was still her boyfriend, and Aunt Sylvia, who was determined to make it so. Jeanne had pouted once the gifts were all opened that she’d received no present from him, but (in her clearly delusional state) had concluded that he intended to give her something privately, later. “Une bague, peut-être?” she had teased with a cheeky conspiratorial wink. “Quel allumeur!”

Donna had groaned in response. James was sure he’d caught the words “stupid bitch” from under her breath as she rolled her eyes aggressively. He was in full agreement with the sentiment. A ring? Seriously? He could not fathom under what circumstances Jeanne could ever suspect he would be planning on asking for her hand in marriage.

Tea was (impossibly) even more excruciating than the gift exchange had been, filled with many failed attempts at awkward conversation and Jeanne playing footsie with James under the table, her silk-stockinged foot, creeping up the right leg of his trousers. He eventually resorted to squirming into a cross-legged position, which resulted in his knees hanging over the edge of his chair, his left one continually poking Donna, who shot him murderous glances from the corners of her eyes. The only bright spots throughout the entire meal were that Jeanne had brought a rather superior wine to the table, so there was no complaining from her about the quality of the drink, and that Aunt Sylvia had truly outdone herself with a sumptuous meal.

James frowned. When he thought about it, Aunt Sylvia had outdone herself in many ways this year. Looking around the house, he noticed that the Christmas décor had been transformed from the usual naff but homey selection. The posh-looking, designer-decorated Christmas tree sported none of the usual cherished ornaments from his childhood; the staircase and mantel were festooned with garland matching the tree; and there were numerous other, similar changes throughout the house, some subtle, some grandiose, all of them impersonal. She was trying to impress someone, and James had a sinking feeling that someone was Jeanne Poisson.

He was jostled from his musings by Aunt Sylvia’s voice from the end of the table, “…the University’s New Year’s Gala. What do you plan to wear, Jeanne? Not that it matters. You’ll look so beautiful on James’ arm, no matter what.”

“No, she will not!” James blurted.

“How could she not? Look at her. Lovely.”

“I don’t think anyone is denying that she’s beautiful, Aunt Sylvia. But she will not be beautiful on my arm. She will not be attending the Gala with me!” He felt his cheeks flush, and from the heat of his ears, he knew they must have been burning red. But even though it had been embarrassing, his outburst had at least been cathartic, and he no longer felt quite so cowardly. The words were out there for everyone to hear, and they just seemed to keep coming. “You are no longer my girlfriend, Jeanne. You haven’t been for a very long time. I do not love you. I don’t know how many other ways I can convince you. Why do you think I didn’t get you a gift? Why do you think I didn’t want to see you the minute you got into town? Why do you think I’ve been basically ghosting you? Hmmm?”

“Oh, such nonsense!” Sylvia retorted. “Don’t be so stupid, James. Of course, she’s your girlfriend, and you’ll be taking her to the gala.”

“I will not!”

“Oh my God, Mum!” Donna shouted.

“Oh, don’t worry, Donna,” Jeanne said. “’E likes to play these little games. ‘E knows, deep inside, we are perfect for one another, don’t you, James?”

Donna sputtered.

James was dumbfounded. He sat looking across the table at Jeanne, his mouth opening and closing stupidly, trying to find the words to express the turmoil of emotion inside him.

Donna elbowed him in the ribs. “Say something, Dumbo,” she gritted out. “Anything!”

The silence clamoured in his ears as all eyes turned on him, and he looked at everyone in turn, lastly at his Grandad who offered him a silent, sympathetic gaze.

“I cannot take you to the gala, Jeanne.”

"N'importe quoi! Mais pourquoi pas?"

Everyone’s gaze was fastened on him, anticipating his response.

“Erm… erm…” he stammered.

“Well?”

“I already have a date.” The words (pure fiction) spewed from his mouth, bypassing his brain entirely. “My girlfriend. I’m taking my girlfriend.”

The silence crashed down around him again, for several long, strained breaths.

“Well, right then…” Gramps stood up suddenly, pushing his chair back. “I’ll be up on the hill, assembling my new telescope, if anyone should need me.” He nodded significantly at James. Then, he retreated at an unreasonable speed for a man of his age, gathering up his parcels and throwing on his coat and hat. Within seconds, the slam of the back door resounded through the house.

And, all around James, there erupted a barrage of astonished cries and screeches of anger.

[thebeethathums]

Observers - 64

Pairing: Sherlock Holmes x Reader

John snoozed lightly in a chair by your hospital bed, his head balanced in his hand as he rested his elbow on the wooden arm. His blonde hair was disheveled, a considerable amount of stubble covered his chin, and his eyes were rimmed with dark circles from lack of sleep. In the past three days, he’d refused to leave your side. The only reason he wasn’t still in the blood covered clothes from before was Lestrade, who had brought him something clean to put on when he’d come to wrap up his report. The room was filled with an assortment of things from all the people who’d been in. Molly had brought you a lipstick and John some strong coffee. Mrs. Hudson came with a tin of biscuits she’d made herself. Harry couldn’t come but sent her best and not only a large bouquet of flowers but some new colored pencils for when you woke. Lestrade hadn’t brought anything but sat with you for a long while and promised he’d figure out what had happened. Mycroft had sent flowers and visited in the dead of the night, standing at the room’s window to look out pensively. He felt guilty. He shouldn’t have let you go to your flat. The mystery of how your ex had gotten out in the first place was just as important to him as it was to Lestrade. On top of that was the fact that he’d found the eyes that he’d put on you dead. It was troubling. Aside from them, there was a long string of people John sort of recognized- including both Annie, who left in tears, and Gabriel. The only person who hadn’t come was Sherlock. 

John didn’t know whether to be angry, relieved, or sad but decided, in the end, to give him the benefit of the doubt since he’d very nearly killed Nicolas and certainly wouldn’t ever walk again. Sherlock, for all intents and purposes, acted as though nothing had happened. He solved the case without John and then started a new experiment, holing himself up in the flat as he diligently worked on it. Internally, he was reeling, he was terrified, miserable, guilty, and worried all at the same time- It was overwhelming for him.

It was his brain that was keeping him away from you, telling him that he’d gone too far in his experiment with feelings and that it had made him weak. If he was alone, he was safe and, to some extent, if he was alone, you were safe. You made him lose focus. You gave criminals something to use against him. You distracted him. He listened to his brain as he’d done his entire life, letting it take him through the motions of his everyday life, but somewhere else inside him was a new voice. He’d never heard it before and he wondered if it had existed all along, just lying dormant in him, or if it had recently developed when you entered his life. The voice that he’d since identified as his heart yelled at him to go to you, to never leave your side again, to kiss every bruise on your skin. It told him it wasn’t a weakness because caring for you brought out his strength, his humanity, and staying away to protect himself and you only placed more hurt on you both. This was the argument going on inside him as he measured out some chemical in a vial and it slipped, shattering on the table below. He just stared at it for a moment. He’d never broken a vial in his life. Not once. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath before trying to come to a compromise between the two voices- he’d go visit Molly and work from there… closer to you but still away. As if he had a big brother sixth sense, John woke up a few minutes before you stirred and grumbled something about hating hospitals. He was stunned for a moment, as if he couldn’t believe that you were actually awake, but came out of it quickly when your eyes flickered open and you softly called, “Johnny?” He was out of the chair and by your side in an instant, taking your hand up in his, “I’m here, Squeak. I’m right here. How are you feeling?” You gave him a weak smile, your eyes sliding closed again as you took a slow breath and shifted slightly to take an assessment, “I’ve felt better. Doesn’t feel like anything’s broken besides the ribs. That’s good.” “You scared me half to death. I thought I was going to lose you… or that you’d never wake up.” “I’m so sorry, Johnny. Things got out of hand.” “Don’t be. It’s not your fault. I’m just glad you’re ok,” he nodded, you’d been unbelievably lucky and everything except the head injury had been extremely treatable and would heal with few to no complications aside from the scaring on your arm. Now fully awake, you opened your eyes again to look for him, and frowned confusedly, “John?” “What is it, Squeak?” “Why can’t I see you? Or anything?” you whispered, panic rising in your voice. He visibly startled, “You can’t see me? Can you see anything? Blurs?” Tears came to your eyes and John’s heart broke as you panicked, “Just blacks and greys… John, what happened? What did he do to me?” Trying to calm you, he leaned and pressed a kiss to your forehead, mumbling into it, “Hush, love, hush. I’m sure it’ll be all right… I’m going to go get your doctor okay?” You nodded, trying to ignore that fact that he’d just called you love, something he only ever did when he was beyond worried, and felt him leave. He came back only a few minutes later with the doctor, adjusting your bed so you could sit up when you asked before a serious sounding man started going over test results. You could only sort of comprehend what he and John were discussing. Something about the impact of the wall causing your brain to bounce, effectively bruising the occipital lobe, the lobe that controlled vision, to cause temporary blindness. Even hearing him say it was temporary didn’t make you feel any better, especially when he went on to say that it should clear up in a few weeks but could take months, and you felt even worse when he said there was a small chance it could be permanent. Your entire life revolved around your ability to see. How would you draw? Or paint? You felt tears start running down your face as you thought of all the things you would miss- the colors, John’s wide grin, the intensity of Sherlock’s eyes, the sky after it rained… everything. The doctor excused himself and John moved to sit on the bed next to you, brushing the hair from your face before wiping some of your tears as you blinked blankly, “It’ll come back, Squeak. That you can see something other than black is a good sign. Give it time.” You knew your brother was worried but relieved from the tone of his voice but he sounded so tired. You reached in the direction of his face and he caught your hand, bringing it to his cheek as he rubbed his thumb along the back of it. You fingers gently felt the stubble and the bags under his eyes with a frown. He’d been up far too long, “Go home, John.” You felt his head shake, “I’m not leaving you alone, (F/n).” Closing your eyes, you huffed frustratedly, “Where’s Sherlock?” The silence answered your question and you sighed, you were a bit disappointed but other than that you didn’t blame him- hospitals were the worst and you probably looked dreadful. You wondered if he was mad at you for going to Mycroft or for not being more observant or more careful or for getting him caught up in this whole thing. You opened your eyes again with the intent to look around and found only black, reminding you of what you’d just been told. John could see from your face that you were struggling but had no idea how to help, wanting to hold you close but knowing that he couldn’t because it would only put you in more pain... he couldn't even give you your sketchbook to draw. You turned your head away from him as tears started to roll down your face again, “Go away, John. I want to be alone.” “But-“ “Just go!” you snapped, feeling a little guilty for pushing your brother away but too upset to do anything else. He sighed, assuring himself that you were just trying to process everything, and then kissed your temple and left you alone with your thoughts.

[rucow]

（It's my turn nowψ(｀∇´)ψ） Anemone；Aster；Baneberries；Bergenia；Black-eyed-Susan；Bloodroots；Buttercup；Camellia；Candytufts；California Poppy； Catnip；Freesia；Glory-of-the-snow；Hoary Stock；Hyacinth；Lantanas；Lavender；Lilac；Marigold；Rosemallows；Snadragon；Tulip；Zinnia.

Anemone: Favorite flower? I know they don’t exist in nature, but I really love blue roses!

Aster: What’s one of your favorite quotes? “Moo” ~ Rukoor… every single thing you say.

Baneberries: Favorite song? Gosh I have SO many… right now it’s this! I love how calm it sounds, blessed. And the transition between voicebanks is so flawless mmmmmm

Bergenia: Are you a morning or night person? I’m not a person at allI think I’m a morning person, that’s the only time I have a little bit of energy to do things. After that I become dead asleep ):

Black-Eyed Susan: If you could be any animal for a day, what would it be? A blue whale… I want to be Big and float aimlessly in the ocean, without being bothered by anyone.

Bloodroots: When you were a kid, what did you want to be when you grew up?I didn’t think I’d live long enough to become an adult, so I never had a dream job or any life goals. I still don’t have any, but if I could make money by drawing… that would be perfect.

Buttercup: Relationship Status? Single :3

Camelia: If you could visit anywhere, where would you want to go? Any forest, or anywhere away from people. I’ve lived in a city my whole life and I really wish I could visit nature sometime.

Candytufts: When do you feel most loved? Honestly… when people show love to Ruko, it’s the same thing as if they were showing it to me. Last month when it was Ruko’s anniversary, I felt So much love from people, it was amazing… Also, Kitty once licked my forehead and it made me feel so loved and accepted that I cried. irl love really hurts for me.

California Poppy: Height?   3 meters (I wish)I’m 1.67m RIP

Catnip: Have you ever slept with a nightlight? For YEARS. I used to have a huge fear of the dark (I still kinda do) because I experience spooky hallucinations, and other nasty things at nighttime. I have really bad nightmares every night, but I’m used to it and now I can sleep in the dark :’)

Freesia: What are three good things that have happened in the past month? I met you!!! at least… I think that happened in the past month? I have no understanding of the passing of time.I can’t think of anything else… :”) my life isn’t very eventful

Glory-of-the-Snow: What are ten things that make you happy/you’re grateful to have in your life?

(in no particular order)1. My cats.2. My coffee grinder, I got it as a gift and it’ll always be special to me3. My laptop… without it, I wouldn’t be able to make art or use UTAU. I’d be really miserable.4. You. >:)5. My friend @sun-shimmer​ (the bestest friend I’ve ever had tbh, ily you farm addict)6. My apartment… I can’t think of anything else

Hoary Stock: What are you proudest of? I think… the fact that people enjoy my art and utau covers , that always makes me feel a little proud of myself

Hyacinth: What do you like to do in your free time?  Make coffee, sleep, draw, tune utau, spend time with my cats, work out, and play video games (only a little)

Lantanas: What’s the best compliment you’ve ever received? Every time someone tells me I look/act like Ruko

Lavender: What’s your favorite thing about yourself?Oh this is hard… maybe the fact that I understand others really well.

Lilac: What’s something you liked to do as a child? Pick flowers after school, and bring them home as a little bouquet… I don’t think anyone appreciated it though

Marigold: Where did you grow up? Tell us about it. :^( there’s nothing good to say about that place

Rosemallows: What’s your favorite memory? Napping in the sunlight when I was little, with wild flowers in my hand… it’s all so distant now.

Snapdragon: At this moment, what do you want? To not cry :’ )

Tulip: What would be the best present to get you? A hug from a girl. Or a coffee grinder. Or… high quality coffee beans… mmm… 

Zinnia: Give a random fact about yourself.I’m always a little bit asleep, and it’s really obvious when I’m in public. If possible, I will lie down and rest in any place.

[lifeisstrangeshortstuff]

React: S/O has a down period - no specific cause.

TW: Mentions of drug use.

Some days just don’t feel all that good, and that’s okay. It’s always alright to let yourself feel sad - it’s shown that people tend to feel unhappier when they think they should feel something that isn’t what they’re thinking. This is when people sometimes just feel really shitty, and the day just makes it feel kinda worse. Lately I’ve had an unusual down period, wish me luck that my first psychologist works for me ^_^ 

I did include Nathan in recovery and Jefferson pre-murder-y, and since this divulges from canon, it probably seems really out of character. I’m gonna warn the readers before the canon-timeline Nathan and Jefferson’s response because this is a piece meant to gear to someone who’s not feeling very well, and tbh, they’d be really shit at comforting someone. 

Disclaimer: Feel free to interpret how you like, and to start a discourse if you think my interpretation could use a tweak or two~

Max Caulfield

Max definitely notices that you’re not feeling well. At first, she doesn’t make a comment on it, not wanting to live up to her reputation as ‘nosy’ but she asks a little while later, worried. 

Upon hearing that you’re not feeling too good, and you yourself aren’t so sure, she’s initially clueless on how to comfort you. Max is surprisingly goal-orientated, preferring there to be some sort of cause she can alleviate or use her time-travel powers to help you. When there’s nothing to ‘solve’, she feels strangely restless.

She first suggests going out together to the Two Whales diner because it’s a familiar place that serves nice food, and she thinks that being away from the campus might make it a little less stressful. That, and, she can have a conversation with you about how you’ve been feeling and if there’s anything she can do.

It’s a sweet little date, and after that, you both can just walk around town, hand in hand sharing music through earbuds, before taking the bus home. She’s a comforting presence after a long day, who is very much in-tune with your emotions.

Chloe Price

She’s torn between giving you space and coming right up to you trying to pull you up because she hates seeing you like this but at the same time, she understands that sometimes, space is what’s needed. She’d never force comfort on you. She can really empathise with how you’re feeling, especially because she’s been in an emotionally terrible place. 

However, if she had her way, she’d take you out on a drive when the sun sets or when it’s nighttime and blast the music with the windows opened, to let the wind run through your hair, eventually parking somewhere where you both can sit and she can ask you what’s been going on, or where you can just cry on her shoulder.

If you’re irritable-not-feeling-good, then she encourages a more aggressive outlet, which is the way she vents her anger.

In general, her comfort is a bit more external, because she understands that if there isn’t a specific cause for your mood, it’s difficult to talk you into feeling better. 

If anything, she’ll play music on her phone and slow dance with you in the junkyard, away from everything, then stargaze. 

Warren Graham

He picks up on your down period early, because he has a slight tendency of being a little hyper-vigilant on how his s/o seems to behave, ready to jump in as soon as there seems to be a cause. 

He’s a little awkward about comfort, because he doesn’t want to overstep boundaries, but you’re his s/o, he cares a lot about you and doesn’t want to see you like this. Despite this awkwardness, you can tell that he is sincere in his actions. 

He asks you if you’re okay as soon as he sees you seem down, although he asks in a casual/slightly comical but caring manner. He’s patient and is more than willing to let you lay everything him.

If you want him to cheer you up, he proposes going for a drive-in date where you both can cuddle up and watch a movie, with the experience of an informal cinema, and you’re free to talk to him about anything at the time. 

Warren’s probably the most supportive guy you’ll come across, and the last person to come across as overbearing. If you choose to see someone for your moods, he’s 100% supportive and willing to come along and wait outside the room/office for you, if you ask.

Kate Marsh

This bean knows all about sad days. She’ll wrap you up in a blanket and make a cup of tea, offering an ear if you need one. If it’s just been a bad day, she’ll shower you with love and hugs. 

If there’s something specific bothering you, or a whole chain of events that just lead to this, she’ll be the most patient angel listening to you, validating your emotions and helping you understand that sometimes, you don’t need an excuse to feel sad, and that experiencing emotions are normal. 

If you haven’t been taking care of yourself lately due to your moods, she’ll help you out. For example, if you haven’t been eating, she’ll try to cook something for you - she’s not a fantastic chef but she can serve up a meal or two. If you haven’t been sleeping well, she’ll see what she can do to help, whether it’s read you a book or play some lullabies.

She’ll encourage you to get some fresh air and take a walk around in a park as the sun goes down, bringing along that old-fashioned picnic basket. 

There might be a few soft kisses - on your cheeks, forehead, nose, and lips. She’ll tentatively ask you if you want to seek help for your down period, and is respectful of your answer. 

Victoria Chase

If there’s no cause for your sadness, she feels at a loss for words. She wants to help you but she doesn’t know exactly what would ‘cheer you up’. It might sound like she’s dismissive, in that she thinks that there’s a clear solution, but it stems from wanting there to be a clear solution - dealing with Nathan is already difficult, and she doesn’t want all her close relationships to be stressful.  

She eventually asks you if you’d like to go out together and window-shop/shop in general. She doesn’t want you staying and moping in your room all day, thinking a walk around and maybe an ice cream date would cheer you up.

If you do go out, then she’ll buy you something that you like but decide not to spend your money on. She’s not as rich as Nathan, but she still has a considerable amount of money and doesn’t mind spoiling you to cheer you up every so often. 

She really wants to pamper you, like take you out for a spa day to just relax and forget about your problems. Or offer to smoke marijuana. (As someone who isn’t familiar with the culture, I didn’t write much here haha ^_^;;) 

If you really, really don’t want to go out… then she’ll reluctantly stay. But expect her to pamper you at home then, with a bath and the works - bath salts, essential oils, a little bit of alcohol, tea candles, and music. She’ll sit next to you, dipping her fingers in the water and asking you how you feel. If you let her, she’ll join you. Expect a few kisses.

Recovering!Nathan Prescott

Assuming Nathan is receiving the appropriate treatment and in a supportive environment (FUCK OFF SEAN PRESCOTT), post-Jefferson. 

He’s not in the best place to offer support since he’s currently in the middle of figuring himself out as well, but he offers what he can and it… it’s surprisingly good. A little similarly to Chloe, he’s been in a really shitty place and can empathise with you. While he always had cause to feel upset, he knows how it feels to suddenly just drop in your mood. 

Even though he’s not the guy who can healthily cope with someone who’s not feeling well (since he has his own issues), helping someone he loves does validate him a little bit, easing his feelings of uselessness and being disposable.

If you wanted to watch something to take your mind off of it, he’d pop on New Romantics and sit next to you and might occasionally make snide comments to try cheer you up. He’d watch your facial expressions to see if it was working - if not, he’d eventually be quiet and just sit next to you, letting you lean into him and pressing a soft kiss on your head. 

If you just seem upset and don’t mind him to do whatever he wants to do to cheer you up, he’d turn off the lights and close the blinds. Not for anything sexual, but just to cuddle with you and play some whale noises - things he used to have done to make himself feel better. It’s not for the sole purpose of feeling better, but it’s a good environment to cry in, especially if there’s nothing to be said because sometimes you don’t know why you’re upset. It’s good for catharsis, and if you don’t feel better, you’ll at least know that he’s there for you. 

If it seems like your mood has lasted for a good long while and affects your daily routine, he tries to ‘casually’ slip by the idea of seeing his therapist, but would completely drop it if you refuse.

Young!NotMurdererYet!Mark Jefferson

In general, Mark is a pretty distant person, especially with emotions. It’s not that he doesn’t experience emotion, but more that his empathy isn’t really tuned. However, he is adept at mimicking emotions and knows the appropriate responses to accommodate distress.

He does care for you, not as much as himself, but enough to not want you to be miserable. He’ll use his knowledge to comfort you, whether it be by listening, physical contact or just being a bit more considerate and affectionate than he’d normally be. 

Even though some people might say it’s disingenuous, since he’s drawing on his ‘social norms’ knowledge, and his version of ‘comfort’ is unusually structured, you could also say that he decides to actually do something about your sadness because he cares about you to some extent, instead of ignoring you and continuing with work that could be seen as more productive. 

He wouldn’t go out of his way to do something that disturbs his schedule too much, but if he sees a florist on the way, he might pick up a bouquet.

:: Now comes canon-timeline Nathan Prescott and Mark Jefferson, whose reactions are considerably less… considerate. If you’re not feeling very well, don’t read because it’s unlikely that their reactions would make you feel any better ::

Nathan Prescott

He has a lot of shit on his plate, even though he doesn’t want to dismiss the feelings of someone he loves, he’s too busy neck-deep in his own issues to notice if you haven’t been feeling well. This… probably doesn’t help. 

If you act irritable, it’s a recipe for disaster - he already feels like the world is against him and this is just making it worse. He’ll snap back without much thought as a defence from feeling hurt, ending in a fight where nothing is solved and both of you are just feeling even worse. 

If you act particularly melancholic to the point where even he notices, he’ll ask what’s wrong because he cares, but he’s not the most attentive or supportive person. How is someone who’s breaking down able to support others? He just… he doesn’t have the energy to help in a long-term way, he can only offer a shoulder to cry on or drugs/alcohol to forget everything. If there’s anything his money can offer, he’ll buy it, but other than that, it’s pretty difficult for him to support you. 

If anything, as soon as you tell him how you’ve been feeling, it worsens his feelings of being incapable or ‘not worthy’ to have you, because he doesn’t know what to do.

Mark Jefferson

Coming to this guy with your vulnerability exposed is such a terrible, terrible idea.

If he has need of you, he’ll be the comforting, sweet lover who says everything that you want to hear, soothing you. He’ll use this show of kindness as a way to guilt you into fulfilling whatever use that he has of you, and as a ‘get out of jail for free’ card when he gets angry and hurts you.  

[alvarezcharles]

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How To Make Your Ex Want You Back If She Has A Boyfriend

[artificialqueens]

Discover Something Rare Ch. 4 (Rajila) - Juniper

Summary: Despite her family’s plans, Manila has never cared about romance. She meets a beautiful artist named Raja, and everything changes. 60’s Lesbian AU.

A/N: There’s a tiny bit of Tagalog that may or may not be completely conjugated wrong/out of context. Forgive me if it is. As always, I welcome any thoughts over at @artificialjuniper as well!

“I thought you were avoiding me.”

Manila winced as she walked into Apartment #5, nervously adjusting her pillbox hat. She wasn’t wrong, but Manila didn’t know how to explain herself, so she muttered out a feeble excuse.

Raja went back to what she was working on; she was sitting on the couch and cutting into some fabric.

As expected, the fatigue from the night before was gruesome. It took a momentous effort to not curl up on the floor and sleep. All day Manila had practiced her lines in the mirror, rehearsing a perfect speech of what to tell Raja. But when they came face to face, her confidence was gone.

To distract herself, Manila tried focusing on something else in the apartment.

The canvas on the easel was finally being used, pencil marks drawing out a rough sketch. It was a girl, illustrated with thick hair, no color but except different stresses of graphite. Her face was happy and the image ended right above her chest. She looked to be naked.

For a liberal artist like Raja this wasn’t out of the ordinary, but in Manila’s current state, her mind was sent reeling. Never in her life had she thought about nude women, yet lately she couldn’t get them to stop plaguing her mind.

“Finally found a muse?” Manila asked. Raja didn’t respond.

She looked at her, working like a machine with unshakeable focus. It was her dress that Raja was working on, gliding into the red cloth. Even without a phone call, even without a visit in days, she was doing this for her. Her chest rose and fell so serenely, and Manila could hear the sweet voice of the siren, and see the princess batting her eyes coquettishly. It made her heart skip a beat. 

It was both exhilarating and sickening, to have such vivid scenes that only she could replay.

Curiosity pulled her feet toward the dress form, bringing Manila closer to Raja. Subtly, she allowed her fingertips to trace the mannequin’s outline, nervousness growing as she inched up the hips and into the dip of the waist. She dared to let her hand caress one of the breasts, and her eyes flittered shut. Being as tired as she was, it was easy to imagine the feel of a real woman beneath her touch. Something dripped into her panties painfully slow, and when an image of Raja’s face appeared in her mind, she ripped her hand away. Looking back, still nothing.  

“Do you think I’m strange?” She whispered.

Raja finally stopped what she was doing and looked up. Her eyebrows furrowed when she saw the tears welling up in Manila’s eyes.

“Yes. But that’s not a bad thing.”

“Isn’t it, though? That’s what everyone seems to think. Why is everything I want so bizarre? So what if I want to create the visions in my head?” Manila slightly sputtered. “I mean… like my art. Other kids go to college. Other girls have careers. I don’t want to be a mirror image of my mother.”

“You’re a modern woman,” Raja said. “Maybe even futuristic. There’s nothing wrong with you, Manila.”

Her lip was quivering now. “I want to be like you, in so many ways. I don’t even understand it.”

“You need to be yourself.”

“I don’t know how!” She seethed, voice breaking. “I’m so scared and I don’t know why. I don’t want kids, I don’t want to be a miserable wife, and I don’t want to go to the dumb dance with Archie Graves! I get more confused every day. How do I even start to break away?”

Raja moved toward her, looking nervous. Despite her anxious eyes, her shoulders were back, and her robe slid off one shoulder. She didn’t fix it.

Did she understand? She had to have understood all the true meaning behind Manila’s pleas.

It felt as if time almost stood still, a million thoughts running through Manila’s mind as Raja closed the distance between them. The world was gone, and it was just them. Finally, them.

 Manila shut her eyes tightly, both craving her presence and wanting to push her away. She clenched her fists, the smell of Raja’s smoke-soaked clothes creeping near her. The butterflies were trying to climb out of her throat, and Manila shakily let her lips part. This is what she wanted. This is what she needed. Raja.

A sharp, slicing noise caused Manila’s eyes to snap open.

“That’s how you start.”

The butterflies were replaced with bile, and Manila felt her face heat up. The world came crashing back down, and it was as if she were having an out of body experience. Her head was spinning and her fingertips were cold. A dull roar filled her ears. She knew Raja was speaking, but she couldn’t hear her.

It took every ounce of her strength to look down at Raja’s hands, one holding the scissors, the other grabbing onto a limp chunk of black hair.

“Manila? Are you going to be sick?” Her voice broke through. “Oh, God. This was a mistake. I’m sorry, please talk to me.”

She silently moved past her and into the restroom, gripping the cold sink for balance. She forced herself to look in the mirror, wide-eyed, full of disbelief.

It was true; right at the front of her hair were several strands that bluntly ended right above her left shoulder. She was overcome with shock.

In the reflection, she could she Raja outside the door. Tears were running rampant down her face and she was clinging to Manila’s fallen hat.

“Don’t hate me,” she pleaded. Her shoulders were shaking, and the desperate look was telling. Raja was just as lost, and somehow they found each other.

Manila looked back to herself and a smile broke out across her face.

———–

For dinner, Manila’s mother served her a slap across the face.

Her father was trying to calm her down as she screamed out words in harsh-sounding Tagalog. Manila didn’t understand most of them, but she didn’t need to. The few phrases she knew were painful enough.

“Mama, it’s just hair! Tell her, Daddy.”

“How could you do this?” she spat. “And right before the dance. I don’t ask you for much Manila. I’ve devoted the majority of my life to raising you, and you are always ungrateful!”

“If Archie Graves could only love me with long hair, then he would never really love me at all, mama,” Manila said. “Don’t you want someone to love me?”

“Of course we want that, sweetheart,” her father spoke. “It just feels as though you don’t.”

Manila ran her hand through her short hair, still unused to how quickly her fingers emerged from the ends.

“Maybe I do, but not in the way you think. Times are changing, you know. Raja said-“

“Raja!” Her mother exclaimed. “Inutil babae! The tattooed one who’s been working on your dress! I should have known she’d influence you this way.”

Manila gasped. “Mama, you don’t even know her!”

“Listen to me, Manila. You are not to see her again. If I find out that you do, you have no home here.”

She looked helplessly to her father for an argument, but his eyes were on the floor. Her mother’s eyes were cold, and Manila’s heart began to ache.

She shoved past her parents, slamming her bedroom door behind her. She slid to the floor, sobbing.

——-

A knock came at Manila’s door, and she wearily placed her hand on the knob. There was only one person she wanted to see, and they were definitely not on the other side.

It was Archie, smiling with a bouquet of roses in his hand. She took them and buried her nose in the petals.

“Oh, I knew you’d like them, Nilly. We’ve got to get you out of this mood. When was the last time you saw some sunshine? How about a walk?”

Truthfully, it had been a week since she’d last seen Raja, and she’d barely left her room since. A dark cloud hung over her, and she had little fight in her to try and force it away.

“Not today, honey,” she said with a small smile. “I’m still not feeling well.”

It wasn’t a lie. She’d been overcome with nausea, and her head ached from crying. She felt like some sort of prisoner, allowed to venture to any place except the one she wanted to visit.

She placed the roses on her dressing table, and he sat on the edge of her bed. He laced his fingers and chuckled.

“What’s so funny?”

“I’m not used to your hair, I guess,” he admitted. “You look so much more mature. Not like my little Nilly.”

I was never yours, she thought bitterly.

“I hope that tomorrow will be a special night for both of us. I’ve been pretty nervous. The holidays are a special time, don’t you think?”

She merely nodded.

 “Your parents they…they’ve asked me to pick up your dress. I can bring it in the morning.”

Manila bit her cheek to keep from saying something she’d regret. With the way the housewives gossiped, she wouldn’t be surprised to find out that half of the suburb knew her business already.

 “That’d be really cool.”

[robinsonmiguel93]

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Ex Back Coach Lee