#drank alllll the free drinks

[gonksinlove]

V got to go to a fancy party for wizards, or something like that...

[mrs-wonderful]

The Holistic Beverage That I Have *Every* Morning (….This Ain’t Your Average Lemon Water, Honey.)

If you’ve been following along for a while, you’ll know that the whoooooole basis of this blog is focused on the SIMPLE, foundational aspects of health. This may not seem revolutionary, but it makes a big difference in a world where we we constantly hear about '“quick fix” trendy wellness fads that claim to solve alllll of our wellness woes with just one singular “miracle" product (ahem, ahem, looking at you celery juice)… *eye roll*

...but what if instead of constantly looking for quick fixes, we just did the simple things with intention and consistency? With our food choices. With our sleep. With our stress management. Annnnnnnd with our HYDRATION.  Hydration? Yup. Because, real talk, I think hydration is one of theeeee most overlooked aspects of health. Which is why I wanted to share this delicious (and incredibly hydrating) recipe with you today! Is this one singular drink going to solve alllllllllllllllll your woes? Nope. You’ll have to look to celery juice for that. ;) But what it will offer you? A consistent and simple staple in your healthy lifestyle. A drink that will provide you quality hydration. A consistent small choice that you can make every day to hydrate you. To provide you with valuable fiber + trace minerals. To support your body’s natural detoxification. A choice to start your day with intention and drink something that will promote health. Not to mention, it’s delicious. Ya ready???

why does this matter?

I take my hydration seriously. Very seriously. Because while we all know that water can impact our physical health, it also has a big impact on our mental health, energy, beauty, and concentration.

One study found that even just a 1.36% decline in hydration correlated with difficulty in completing tasks, lower concentration, and headache symptoms.

It has been shown that mild, but chronic, dehydration is correlated with increased body weight.

Another study found that children who drank 500mL of water performed better in focus and memory tests in the following 30 minutes compared to peers who did not get the 500mL drink of water.

Drinking your water: it’s simple, it’s free, and it makes a huge difference in how alert you’ll feel during the day…and in this post, I am going to share how I upgrade my water ritual with my favorite, (most hydrating) morning bevvie. Just a few simple ingredient additions to your water, and you are going to completely up-level your hydration.

morning water, but upgraded: 

Even before I found this specific recipe, I have allllways been an advocate for chugging a big ol’ glass of water first thing in the AM to rehydrate and help support your detoxification process after sleeping. Basically, while you sleep, your fascia system and lymph system have accumulated waste products—and drinking water first thing in the morning can help 1) rehydrate you, and 2) support this detoxification process to remove bodily waste effectively.

So while I was already consistently having a big glass of water first thing in the AM, I had no idea that I could upgrade my morning h2o until I found this super simple (and SUPER hydrating) morning water recipe. This simple drink is packed with trace minerals, electrolytes, and fiber that keeps me sustainably hydrated (much more effectively than just plain water would do). 

First things first: I did NOT invent this recipe. It was created by the brilliant Dr. Dana Cohen, a functional medicine doctor based out of NYC who has revolutionized modern hydration. If you want more information on this drink and how to optimize your hydration, I highly recommend her book Quench. This book blew. me. away.

Naively, I already kind of thought I knew everything there was to know about hydration: drink a lot of water, carry a refillable bottle, avoid dehydrating things like caffeine and alcohol, yada yada yada… But! Turns out hydration is not just about guzzling liters of water—there are a few simple hacks that will completely shift and maximize your hydration. If you’re ready to up-level your health, mental clarity, and wellness, I couldn’t recommend this book any more highly!

I tried this recipe after reading the book, and whoa. I noticed an instant shift in my digestion, hunger, and energy levels. The reason I love this morning elixir is because every ingredient is so. intentional. Each item serves a purpose and works symbiotically with the others to boost each ingredient’s positive impact. The result? An incredibly hydrating way to start your day. 

So, if you’re just having plain ol’ water first thing in the AM—you go, girl! I approve!

...but if you want to take it to the next level, consider adding just a few extra ingredients and you can completely upgrade your morning glass of water. 

morning lemon water and chia seeds recipe

the recipe: my super-hydrating morning elixir

Ingredients: 

12-16 oz of water (I use warm water, but use whatever temp preference you have!) 

A pinch of sea salt or pink Himalayan salt

Approx. 1 tbsp of lemon juice, seeds strained out (I squeeze about 1/3 of the lemon)

Approx. 0.5 - 1 tsp of chia seeds

Instructions:

Mix all the ingredients together in your glass. Let rest for 5-10 minutes, stirring occasionally, or until the chia seeds have formed a gel, annnnnd drink up!

I always drink this from my Weck jar with a stainless steel straw (the straw protects your teeth from the acidic lemon annnnnd allows you to stir up the chia seeds as you drink!). 

NOTE: This recipe is sooo customizable. Add some herbs, use less salt, more salt, throw in a splash of apple cider vinegar, some honey, maybe some more lemon, less lemon, hot water, cold water—whatever works for YOU. The point is that you tweak it until you find a ratio and regimen that you will stick with! 

super hydrating morning lemon water with chia seeds recipe (graphic credit: Olivia Herrick Design)

for all my fellow nerds out there… let’s break down what exactly makes this drink so special:

#1: ch-ch-ch-chia seeds 

Drinking liquids isn't the only way to stay hydrated. Did you know that you typically get about 20% of your water each day from food? 

Water content varies from food to food, but in general, there are benefits to taking in water through food. It gets absorbed more slowly due to the fiber and other nutrients and electrolytes that come with it. This means that the water will not just "flush through," but that it can be absorbed easily into our cells and will stay in our system for long enough to be put to good use. For example, a few water-rich foods include: watermelon (92% water), cucumber (85%), lettuce (96%),  etc. Not only do you get the benefits of hydration, but this water is absorbed more steadily throughout the body thanks to the fiber and other micronutrients present with the water molecule. Which brings me to… *drum roll plz*

A few super powers of chia seeds: 

A food that is super hydrating? CHIA SEEDS. These small-but-mighty seeds absorb water quickly and can take in up to 10 times their weight in liquid, creating a gel-like texture that allows you to absorb that water steadily and maximize your absorption of the h2o. :)

FIBER. With over 10g in 2 tablespoons, these little seeds are jam-packed with fiber (specifically soluble fiber, which helps you feel full, helps with digestion, and helps you absorb the water more sloooowly) allowing for a continuous absorption of the water for hours after drinking it.

Chia seeds can be so helpful for digestion and can help improve your bowel movements.

They serve as a great source of antioxidants which help prevent cell damage caused by free radicals in the body.

They’re a good source of several minerals, such as calcium, phosphorous, zinc, and copper.

Anti-inflammatory! Get this: once study done with diabetic patients showed that eating 37g of chia seeds every day reduced CRP inflammatory markers by 40%. 

The seed itself is a complete protein and one of the richest sources of omega-3 fatty acids.

I consider these little seeds CRUCIAL ingredient in this drink. A small seed that has a BIG impact. As with everything, don’t go 0 to 100. Start with just a little bit and work up as tolerated. Remember, there is a LOT of fiber in these little seeds so don’t go overboard until you know how your body tolerates it! 

#2: lemon

We have all heard of adding lemon to our water for flavor, but there’s more to it! Lemons contain pectin (AKA that thing that makes jams gel… which results in another source of gel water) and contain natural electrolytes. These extra minerals help quench your thirst more than just plain water alone. There’s calcium, potassium, magnesium...these minerals and lytes help regulate how the water is transferred into the cell. Not to mention, lemons can help decrease inflammation, regulate pH, and boost immunity (one lemon has over 139% of your daily vitamin C).

#3: and a sprinkle of natural salt 

Something you may or may not not know: not all salts are created equal (looking at you, classic salt shaker!). It turns out that common table salt (AKA highly processed salt) ends up being just straight up sodium by the time they end up processing it, making it quite dehydrating… while natural sea salt, Himalayan salt, or Celtic salt are actually HYDRATING thanks to all the trace minerals they contain that don’t get processed out. They can help pull hydration into cells by providing necessary trace minerals (without swelling or bloating).

Natural, minimally processed salts play a crucial role in hydration: beyond sodium, they contain trace minerals like iodine, iron, potassium, magnesium, and calcium. Which is why adding the tiniest pinch of salt to your water can be game changing for how much water you’ll actually end up absorbing, not just flushing through.

to wrap it up

Mmmmm, my morning lemon drink. So simple, yet so impactful. I am truly not blowing smoke—I notice a tangible difference in energy, hunger, and digestion on the days that I skip out on this super hydrating drink. Is this subjective, anecdotal evidence? Totally. Remember, this is my personal experience.

But maybe you’ll find out you have your own personal experience that your body completely jives with this all-natural, hydrating, detoxifying drink. The great thing about using food as fuel is that you can go off how it makes your body feel. I mean, this is a pretty low-stakes game—if you don’t feel anything when you drink this…welp. Nothing gained, nothing lost. But! If it’s as changing for you as it’s been for me, then it’s a total win! It’s so simple, so affordable, and truly so impactful. Just give it a try. :) You have literally nothing to lose (except spending a few bucks on chia seeds, ha!).

but don’t just take it from me… *wink*

Is this drink a “quick fix” trendy drink? Nope. Because that’s not the way we do things here on The Foundation Blog.

Because my approach to wellness? It’s not about a singular “miracle fix.” It’s a consistent and intentional commitment to small choices every day. Just like this drink—a simple habit that, when done consistently, supports your body’s hydration, detoxification, and natural processes. It’s a small choice that you can make every morning to start your day with intention and show your body respect. And that is not a quick fix—that’s one mini step in creating a health lifestyle. Cheers!

want more holistic food goodness?

[coldmorte]

I need to know about the mango obsession

Oh, dear me. I am ashamed of this answer, but here goes…

I cannot even express how much I love mangoes. Some of the best shit ever put on this planet.

Although, I can actually pinpoint the exact moment my personal obsession started - four years ago in a little suburb of Paris. I received a scholarship to study there for a few months, and each weekend, I would have dinner at this local restaurant with a mentor of mine. The first time I went there, I had no idea what to order, so she suggested I get the mango puree. I am not that picky, so I was just like, “sure, whatever.”

Well, let me tell you. I had no idea just how life changing such a simple recommendation could be. I took one sip and thought, “DAMN, I better savor this.” But no. It was not physically possible. I drank the whole thing so fast, she gave me the rest of HERS to finish as well.

I didn’t even know how I could wait another week. That shit was SO GOOD, I physically needed more… It honestly tasted like heaven on earth. So, I went to the market and found something similar. The problem was, it came in a big jug, and the place I was living in didn’t have a refrigerator (the puree had to be kept cool). Not to mention, we were not technically allowed to have any food/drinks in our dorm rooms.

Apparently, my desire to possess a constant supply was so strong, it drove me to get creative. This was during the fall, so the weather outside was relatively cool. I am not sure if I should be embarrassed of my ingenuity or proud of what I accomplished through it, but I came up with a contraption to hide the jug outside my window in a gutter. It had a little string attached, which I used to lower and raise it each time I wanted some. Thus, it was kept cool, and nobody ever found it INSIDE my room. (I also found a way to hide wine in the ceiling tiles that nearly got me in big trouble, but THAT is another story altogether...)

I LIVED off that mango shit for months. When I came back to America, I had to find something to fill the hole in my heart. The mango nectar at Trader Joe’s does a damn fine job. I drink it alllll the time. In fact, I have a glass of it next to me as I write this

(Hehe, I don’t think a more fitting mug is possible for it either - I got that from my grandpa 😆)

I love whole mangoes as well, but I try to avoid them because they are a lot of work to prepare. The last time I got one, it didn’t even make it halfway out of the skin. I thought I would just lick a little of the juice off my hand as I cut it, and NOPE. I ate that entire son of a bitch in a minute flat. Ruined my whole supper (not that I was complaining, though).

Anyhow, I learned the hard way that I cannot handle whole mangoes. I usually have to stick to juiced, canned, or dried (especially with chili seasoning - OH MYYYYY) for the sake of self-control. But I gotta get a taste pretty much everyday. Especially with Red Dead on my mind, I just…. good grief, my mouth is watering as I think about it… there is NOTHING better than free roaming with Dutch and a side of mango juice. 100/10 recommend.

But I should most certainly shut up now. I cannot believe I wrote this sober... geez. Nonetheless, I hope it fulfills your need to know about my obsession. I'm a certified manghoe in more ways than one 🥭🥭

[abcreid]

Love Slash Hate

Spencer Reid x Reader.

Hi alllll!!!!! So i got a request from anonymous!!! Finally after decade somebody Requested againn!!!! Thank you anon for trusting me by req to me!!!

As always, sorry for the bad grammar.

Who Requested ••• Masterlist

-

“Hey are you available this weekend?” JJ asked you after the briefing from Hotch finished. “You know my son, Henry, wants to throw a birthday party, so I’m inviting the team, including you, the new kid in here.” You and her walked together to each other’s desk. “So what do you think?”

You were happy at the moment because this is the 3 times you were invited to the team’s gathering remembering you were new to the BAU world. You replaced Agent Blake because she was resigned. But in that 3 events you were invited, you never came to any of them. You had another own agenda with your friends, then you lied to the team you had a party with your friends. You had to lie because of your one of the team, Spencer. He was really a pain in your ass. His rude attitude, insulted every movement of yours and he didn’t want to be paired with you whenever Hotch asked.

And now you saw him at his desk prepared to go to the jet with the team. You sighed. This guy is only guy who seem to hated on you. No, he really hated you. Which one of attitude he hated so much about you? You polite to him since the day you came to BAU. He slightly looked at you cynical. Then he went fast leaving the room.

“Uh i don’t know... my friend asked me to stay over in her place...,” You answer her in doubt. Because the reason is Spencer. He will be there of course since Henry is his godson and you will meet him and you two would caused a scene and ruined the party.

She smirked. “Is it about Spence? You didn’t want to see him at the party?”

You chuckled. “Him? Seriously? I don’t even think about him...,” you frowned. Wait, what would you even to think about his existence at the party? You could avoid him and you both would happy for not seeing each other. “Uh... i think I’m free for this weekend. See you then on your son’s party.”

She smiled and leave you behind to toilet.

“So you will come to Henry’s party?” Spencer surprisingly greeted you. In a flat expression.

“Yeah... JJ asked me.” You answered him while put your stuffs to your bag. You didn’t make eye contact with him because you didn’t want to make things awkward. “You come?” You really tried to polite to him since he didnt brag.

“Of course i will. I’m Henry’s godfather. What do you expect? Me not coming? Really YN? You’re the worst.”

You stopped and looked at him? “Really? I just asked you if you will come or not. I didn’t say anything else. Why are you hating on me so much? You really want me to move out from BAU? Hell no you professor. I won’t and you have to face m-,” He left you behind and didn’t listen to your rambling. “Me every day, fuck you.”

You breath slowly. That guy is really annoyed your life. “Fuck you? Reid?” Hotch came to your desk with his briefcase in his right hand.

“Hey Sir... i mean Hotch... no... I cursed to myself.” He raised his left eyebrow because he knew you told him lie. “Yeah it was for him. Why would he did such thing? Hating on someone without an explanation. Did i do something wrong to him? It’s been a month and half since i worked here and he kept insulting my life. You guys were very nice to me except him. I’m confused.”

“He’s socially awkward.” Hotch and you walked together to the lift. “He through a hard time months before and he still until today. Don’t mind him, he will nice to you after months later.” You smiled at his blurred explanation. Lol he would be nice to you after months, crazy Spencer.

-

“Hey YN, welcome!” JJ hugged you and you gave a present to both of her kids. “What do you guys say to aunt YN?”

“Thank you aunt YN.” You smiled and join the team who stood far from JJ and her family.

“Look who’s here!” Morgan shout when you came and you smiled. Because you didn’t see Spencer around them. Finally, a little happy time for you. “YN, you had no excuses more, hadn’t you?”

“Young lady, I’m so happy to see you come and join us! You are part of this family.” Garcia hugged you and you hugged her back.

Then Rossi came joined. “Sorry all, I’m late.” He surprised to saw you. “YN, welcome to the team. No party with your friends anymore?” He joked and everyone laughing including you. Meantime your eyes were looking for the troublemaker of the month. “Relax kid, the other kid you looking for were playing with the birthday boy.”

You sighed with a relief. For the next hours you can breathe in peace.

“Hey YLN, did you remember th-“ Morgan’s voice start to fading when you saw Spencer walk over to where the team stood.

“I think I’m gonna grab a drink.” You turned back and start to walking but Garcia hold your hand.

“No no no no, YLN, don’t avoid him. Face him. Or don’t even mind that boy wonder. You still can have some fun with us, okay?” Everyone looking at you and gave you same look like Garcia gave to you. You gave in and stick with the team.

“Hey guys...,” He stopped for a moment when he looked at you. Like he didn’t know what to say about you. Felt like he stunned by you. “Oh you came.” He looked at you in anger. “Why you came today after all the event we held before? Was it because of this team suck? You thought this team is suck?”

“Reid, c’mon, this is Henry’s party, it’s all about fun, okay?” Hotch rebuked Spencer.

“Enough. Enough for you to insulted me. I never came to all the party you held because of yourself Dr. Spencer Reid. The arrogant and douchebag man I’ve ever met in my entire life. You were the reason i never came. You always hated and mocked every movement of mine. For the past 45 days i worked at BAU, i keep myself to ignore your attitude, bu i can’t hold it anymore. Everyone has a limit, you know?” You pointed at him. “I didn’t know what i ever did to you and i didn’t know what you been through before i worked here, but you couldn’t wreak it on me, you understand? You can hate me all you want and i dont care, at least show your professionalism.”

You didn’t talk that loud so only the team could hear you. Even JJ too busy with the kids so she didn’t look at team.

Everyone on the team shocked after you gave your angry speech to Spencer.

“I... i didn’t m-“

You left him when he tried to talk to you. Just like the time he ignored you few days ago. You walked to the drink table to grab something you could drink. Your mouth was too dry because you talk that much to Spencer. You really want to look back but Spencer might be looking at you right now so you hold yourself. Since it’s kids party, there’s only water and soda available in here. You took soda and drank it fast.

“Hey i never thought you would-“

“What? You didn’t satisfied enough to mock me, did you?” You confronted him with disappointment. “I’m tired to argued with you, okay? Now leave me, please.” You ignored him and start to drink water.

“My girlfriend was murdered in front of me.” He started the talk.

“What?” You shocked and looked at him in his eyes.

“Yeah it was 8 months and 4 days ago. Then you came 6 weeks ago and you started to steal my attention. I was scared of loving someone again because Maeve died. So thats why i rather ignored you and made you hate me so i can forget about you. But the fact I couldn’t. And i realized when you mad at me, i can’t let you. I have to get you. And I like you, YN.”

You furrowed your eyebrows and grinned in confusion. “Really...? Because i didn’t believe it and neither the team.” When you glanced at them, they held a paper with love sign. They all smiled and you looked back at him. Your heart start beating fast than usual and you couldn’t bear the smile because for all this time you had this crush on him but the hate he gave to you put away the love you have on him.

“So any chance for you to forgive me?”

“Yes.”

[megbox]

2018 Year In Review

Previous Posts: (2017) (2016) (2015) (2014) (2013) (2012) (2011) 

2018 has not been a banner year for self care. It has not been a banner year for much of anything, to be honest. This year in review will be much less colourful and exciting than they traditionally tend to be. It has been a year of hard work, stress, and feeling the pressure of the less-fun parts of adulthood creeping up on me. It has been really hard, to be totally honest. I have spent the majority of the year in a deep state of exhaustion and distress. There are positives within it all, though. Big positives, such as: 

I went on my longest trip ever away from home. 

I have developed so much in the professional sense and have fallen so deeply in love with social work and my future career path. 

I have made new friends who reflect these changing influences in my life, and the enduring friendships that have survived all of these years continue to strengthen and deepen as time goes on. 

January: 

Tell me - why does January always suck? 2018 began with an opening double shift on New Year’s Day, which I feel is strongly symbolic of the year as a whole because you have an exhausted Megan struggling to responsibly balance my professional responsibilities, self-care, and partying. On January 3rd, Alex and I booked our flights to Asia and in doing so, solidified that we were going through with a plan made drunkenly over the table last summer at a karaoke bar. 

I did get to spend an awesome ski weekend with Alesta, Sydney x 2, and Shelby. It was especially nice because this particular group of people had never spent time all together - we were just united by being a group of girls who love to ski. We hit Lake Louise on Saturday, stayed overnight at a hostel in Banff, and Alesta and I hit Sunshine on Sunday. In Banff, we got a free jug of sangria because we are cute girls. We went to High Rollers and Sydney was drinking IPAs and porters like a pro. I went alone (like... what? Who am I? How drunk was I?) to Dancing Sasquatch after and made friends with some Nova Scotians in line. One of them paid for my cover and bought me not one but two of those infamous Time Machine drinks and extra bonus - Alesta and I got FREE lift passes at Sunshine. 

At the end of the month, my mental health took a sharp nosedive into oblivion and I don’t even really know why. I started experiencing a violent resurgence of something I haven’t felt since the end of the 12th grade, having what I now recognize as panic attacks. The first one came when I was studying on a Sunday at Higher Ground and I had no idea what the fuck was happening, I’d been there for several hours when I suddenly felt the urge to throw up. I packed up all my shit and burst out the door literally gasping for air but ended up being fine. Just shaky and confused. They started happening more frequently after this, with no predictable trigger, and I started to feel the physical manifestations of stress. That was new and it freaked me out. This lent itself to a lot of strange patterns around eating (since I was constantly feeling nauseous, or I thought I was, I didn’t want to have a full stomach. I also thought I had a food intolerance, and because I’m me was 100% convinced I was pregnant because the stress caused me to miss my period). 

February 

Things started to get so bad in February that I had to plead my manager at Famoso for less hours. He was an idiot in general but also did not seem to grasp the severity of what I told him. He would frequently schedule me for these long swing swifts all weekend long, leaving no time or energy for the mountains of homework I had to do. It did not help. 

February was especially busy with school. That’ll be a recurring theme throughout this year. It could honestly be a summary of this entire year - so I’ll spare you the details. But five courses at the University of Calgary is no joke. 

I never needed reading week so badly in my entire life. I was beyond happy to just be able to take a long weekend and not be at Famoso. Shelby arranged for a giant group of her friends to spend the weekend at her friend Sawyer’s massive, absolutely beautiful cabin in Invermere. I got to spend some quality time with two of my favourite people on the planet - Emma and Sydney. From the minute we got into Emma’s car together, to having ciders at the Emerald Lake Lodge on the way, to eating A&W and sharing a bed and “she gon’ fuck the fridge.” Sydney and I spent one afternoon on homework while everyone else went skiing and I was with her when she got the news that she’d won this massive grant and we celebrated by sitting in this magical massage chair and just loving life. We played Drink, Talk, Learn! And I gave a drunken presentation on the history and etiology of pugs. Emma and I went skating on Lake Windermere to cure our hangovers on Sunday. A keg and a bonfire were involved. It was so Canadian, honestly LOL. And so perfect. 

March 

Although I was still struggling with this weird panic-nausea cycle, it lessened through March as more and more assignments were completed. I started to see the light at the end of the tunnel, to use a cliche. I gave three presentations in a week, I remember that being particularly awful. 

I attempted Mellow March for the second time and once again failed. Mildly concerning. I caved on a Wednesday wing night with the Famoso friends. It was 27 days in. So close, so close. 2019 will be my year! 

I started getting really into podcasts at this time because I started commuting using public transit. I got really into Guys We Fucked (which I still love), and This Is Actually Happening. TIAH is kind of fucked up though, and after a while it started to fuck me up. I would have weird dreams about the content and I started becoming paranoid that there was something wrong/extraordinary about me. So I stopped. I guess that is something I have learned about myself this year, is that even when it’s not overt, I am really deeply effected by some of the things I learn. Typically, people of this nature do not excel in the field of social work so allow me to flag this as a place for improvement in the future.

I ran the 5km at the St. Patrick’s Day road race, which was awesome and I won the draw that everyone was entered in and got a FREE pair of these super nice, hot pink New Balance running shoes that I now cherish with my life. 

I had my first round of practicum interviews, which only ended up being one interview because I was offered the placement at CommunityWise before I could interview anywhere else. This is one of the best things to happen the whole year :) 

And a special moment for me as well was on March 31, I got to see Alvvays live. 

April 

In April, I finished hell semester and immediately jetted off to Thailand.

From the get go, the trip was a bit of a shit show. This was my second time to Asia, and my first experience with really planning a trip including flights, hostels, and transportation from place to place without the aid of a tour guide or travel company. We had a time even getting to Bangkok due to an untimely snow storm the day of our departure that forced our flight to Vancouver to be late and causing us to miss our connecting flight to China. After two hours in line at the Air Canada desk, an agent produced a new itinerary for us. Calgary to Los Angeles to Hong Kong to Bangkok. He printed the sheets out and when I looked at the times on the paper, the mental math wasn’t adding up. With me, the mental math never really adds up but this time it seemed impossible that we could leave so much later than planned for our trip and arrive in Bangkok only three hours later than we were supposed to. I brought this up with him and he assured me it was fine. I wasn’t satisfied though, and asked a bunch of other airport personnel the same question. They all said we were fine but lo and behold, we land in Hong Kong and are waiting for the Thai Airlines desk to open so we can retrieve the tickets for the last leg of the journey when the agent there tells us, “They put you on the flight that left yesterday.” Anger and distress ensues. I call Air Canada from the airport in Hong Kong and the call drops. I’m straight up crying on the floor at this point. But in the end – we fucking made it.

In Bangkok, I was welcomed back to the stifling heat and humidity of Asia. We met American doctors-to-be who were at the end of their trip and were totally sick of one another and were very happy to have company. We ate massaman curry for every meal, partied on Khao San Road (those nitrous balloons!!! God, they’re so fun!!), and spent a lot of money on a single cocktail just for a photo op at the top of a skyscraper but the sunset was perfect and it was totally worth it.

In Chiang Mai we drank Sangsom and Coca-Cola by the pool and ate street food out of Styrofoam containers. We met these Americans who were teaching English in Chiang Mai and they took us to a night club on the back of their motorbikes. I did a drug I said I’ve never do in one of the bathrooms at this night club and ended up going home with one of the aforementioned teachers. It was funny to me because at about 3:00pm, Alex and I went back to our hostel to change and get ready for the evening and at that point I said, “I think I’m going to end up hooking up with Cory.” I fucking knew. I KNEW.

In Pai, I had the DIRTIEST hostel experience of my life. I was showering… just fully naked and vulnerable in this nasty ass shower when I saw a bug I did not recognize from my sheltered upbringing crawl out of a hole in the wall. I have never felt more small. It was also 43 degrees and we were staying in a tiny hut with a plug-in fan that only worked half the time and somehow had the effect of making the room hotter? Pai was also the first time we rented motorbikes. It’s honestly so dangerous… like, what the fuck, Thailand. We experienced our first flash rainstorm. We went to a place called Sunset Bar and took mushroom shakes and holy shit I’ve never experienced more potent mushrooms in my entire life. We met our Irish friends who we’d later see in Koh Pha Ngan, and I slept with an Israeli soldier on our second-to-last night and I’m almost 100% certain I took his virginity.

Koh Pha Ngan was alllll thunderstorms. We also decided to splurge a bit on food on this island and gorged ourselves with seafood and lavender Moscow mules at this nice restaurant down the road from our hostel. We partied so hard. We went to the pre-parties for the Full Moon – they have the Waterfall party two nights before, and the Jungle party the night before. I had sex with a total stranger at the Waterfall party up against a rock (when I recounted this story to Steven upon returning home he put on a redneck accent and said, “C’mon baby let me take you down to the fuck rock” and now that’s all I hear when I think about this experience in my head). The Full Moon Party was fun but not AS fun as the pre parties. It wasn’t as wild and the beach is so big but everyone concentrates in one little area. I took some kind of mystery pill (as you can see, I was very safe in Thailand) and had yet another sexual experience with a casual partner. I also witnessed a fight in the taxi back because one girl called another girl a stripper. It was bad.

May 

Continuing on with our Asia trip.

We landed in Krabi and intended fully to chill out a little bit after the wildness of Koh Pha Ngan. The first night was chill, we were staying in the Muslim quarter of the Krabi area so there weren’t a ton of nightclubs to go to and the hostel had some kind of run-in with police and weren’t able to take us out on the pub crawl we signed up for (lame). We had a roommate from Vancouver on the second day who bought a bunch of Xanax from a Thai pharmacy and gave me one. I can never do it again because it was so. good. But of course, I took one pill and stopped drinking just in case. This bitch continued drinking and took six or seven Xanax throughout the night. I honestly don’t know how she lived. We went rock climbing and drank beers on a boat tour one day and it was soooo great. We had the hottest tour guide. I did a hike by my lonesome that I nearly died on.

On the ferry ride from Krabi to Koh Phi Phi is where I got the sunburn that will likely give me skin cancer in later life and kill me. 90 minutes on the outside deck of a ferry (because I felt nauseous as fuck and didn’t want to vom in the cabin) absolutely fucked. me. up. We stayed at another pretty fucking gross hostel in Koh Phi Phi, and my roommates were all male which was a new experience for me. I went on a solo booze cruise cause Alex was sick. We took mushrooms again with our Canadian friend Kelsey and god, I was laughing so hard I was crying and I could not stop. I was like rolling around in the sand laughing so fucking hard about Fisherman’s Friends candy. It was so blissful. So pure.

And then… the sickness. This is going to be TMI but… fuck it. A bit of indigestion and stomach trouble is expected whenever a white person enters Asia. Different microbes etc. etc. But this… this was on a new fucking level. I knew something was up because on the morning that we woke up to take our ferry from Koh Phi Phi to Phuket, I vomited. And I never vomit, and I wasn’t that hungover (especially in relation to much of the rest of the trip). I felt okay afterwards though so we soldiered on. Three hour ferry ride, totally fine. We board our bus that will take us from the ferry port in Phuket to our hotel and about halfway through this bus ride, I feel it. I am wearing overalls. My heart starts beating loudly in my chest, sweat begins to bead on my forehead. Holy fuck, I am going to shit my pants. I clench until we get to the hostel – which is, of course, the last stop. It’s like a solid 45 minutes of pain. My stomach is ROILING. I have never felt anything like it.

I honestly know nothing about Phuket because I spent the entire 72 hours we were there running from my bunk bed to the bathroom. I would go so far as to say every ten minutes. At one point, I just brought my laptop into the washroom with me and watched Netflix for a few hours. A roommate who was with us switched rooms (understandably… I’m sorry, Helen). I didn’t eat for four days, literally not a fucking thing. Just Gatorade and water so that I didn’t die of dehydration. Because we had an airplane to catch and I needed to not be shitting the contents of my body out, I saw a doctor. He prescribed me like five different medications and told me just to take like eight of these pills and to expect stomach pain but it would at least get me through the flight to Seoul and hopefully home.

It worked, and we spent the last few days of our trip in Seoul. What an absolutely fascinating and beautiful part of the world. With Kieun as our guide, we got to see the best parts of Seoul. People took photos with us and gave us free shit. I had the absolute best meal of my life (it was the first thing I’d eaten in like four days… I really risked it all with the Korean barbecue honestly…). All-you-can-eat thick fatty slices of pork belly, grilled in front of us and dipped in sesame oil and salt with garlic and spices. Spicy chicken feet on the side, corn with cheese. It was wild. I cannot believe I stomached it.

And on May 12th, we returned home back to our lives and school and work and all of that boring ass shit. I remained ill for a solid six weeks upon returning home. To a lesser degree, I still have not fully recovered. At this point, I am unsure if I ever will. I truly think that second-round Asia gave me skin cancer and permanently altered my gastrointestinal functioning. Worth it? Unsure. But it happened nonetheless.

June 

My brother graduated from university and won a very prestigious award and it was very nice to watch him cross the stage and hear a nice speech about his accomplishments (he won so many scholarships that he basically had a free ride to school – I think it’s clear who inherited the brains).

I finished up my spring courses. Can I just say - spring courses are the worst? The two I picked were especially bad. The one about human sexuality was basically Sex Ed 101 which made for an easy A but I was hoping to investigate deeper on a number of topics. And the second one was way too hard for my tiny brain to accommodate and I got the lowest mark I’ve ever gotten on my paper and it brought me down.

I had a very random unexpected night where I slept with a really close friend of mine (like, friends for over a decade) who I used to have a little bit of a crush on in high school. We were very drunk and it was kind of a curiosity-satisfying move that has actually not resulted in a very big change to our relationship at all but I think it’s worth mentioning because younger me would have been stoked. This one’s for you, younger me!

We went to the High River Rodeo and Cabaret – another unexpected move but oh my god it was so fun. Matt, Steven, Amanda and I. You could buy as many beers as you wanted at a time and they were cheap because fuck the AGLC apparently. The rodeo was actually super fun. The cabaret was redneck af and I happened to see my roommate from the hostel in Koh Phi Phi and his buddies there? Although it was not a friendly reunion because I had unknowingly exposed him for cheating on his girlfriend when he was in Phi Phi (which he did. I shared a room with him, and the girl he loudly banged every night until 4am). Two-stepping ensued and I passed out in the car ride home. I have a great photo of Steven from this night next to a bottle of hot sauce. I do not recall why. I will include it below. 

July 

Okay, I am just going to preface this by saying July was a hot mess. 

Myself, Madison, Maeghan, and Cayley were all single and messing around on dating apps so we decided to create Tinder bingo. It’s exactly what it sounds like. The rules were that you could only cross off two things per date (so that you had to go on a minimum of three to win), you got bonus points for going on a Tinder date with the same person someone else had gone out with, and the first to win got their drinks paid for on a night out. So, I went on exactly one Tinder date. Which is something I said I’ve never do and never really saw myself doing but I went for it on this occasion because I think that in this day and age, a Tinder date is an experience everyone should have. So I bit the bullet, and went for a drink with this guy James at the Oak Tree Tavern. And oh... my god? What a terrible experience? LAUGHABLY terrible. His only desired topic of conversation were the nationalities of people I had slept with and in what circumstances. At one point he asked me, “when was the last time you had sex? Was it good?” He also talked at maximum volume and I guarantee you everyone else at that bar overheard our conversation. Midway through the date, he asked for a review of how he was doing and I told him he seemed a bit nervous. This angered him. He said, “I’M NOT NERVOUS” and I was like, “you asked, buddy.” He asked me if I would pay for him. Cayley literally had to come rescue me and I ran out of his car where he had unbuttoned his pants and had his dick out and was literally on the verge of tears begging me to touch it so hard. I literally bolted out of his car and he yelled out the window, “CALL ME!” He still hits me up on instagram sometimes. I hope his life gets better. 

I also moved again. This is my favourite living situation I’ve ever had. Great roommates who are almost never home. Cute house. Good location. A+ choice by me. 

I got really obsessed with the Thai cave rescue. It was just such a compelling and unique STORY and I would literally come home from work and refresh the BBC live update feed for hours until I fell asleep, then I’d wake up and refresh hoping for good news. I cannot wait for the movie. I will go opening day. #Obsessions 

Stampede!!! Oh my god, what a wonderful Stampede. The most memorable thing is that Steven and I went to the standing rodeo one afternoon and got absolutely. fucking. hammered. Whilst there, we met and befriended two Australian retirees named Lyn and Ken. They are rich and are obsessed with horseriding and rodeo stuff. They purchased many drinks for us and we convinced them to come to Nashville North with us, where they purchased MORE drinks for us and Steven attempted to show them how to two-step. They later invited me to go horseback riding in Banff and I accepted. They literally picked me up, drove me to Banff, we crushed two bottles of wine at the Park gin distillery, went on a three-hour horseback ride through the mountains, they drove me home and I paid for NONE OF IT. It was........ a day. I sat on my bed later and thought to myself, “that was fucking weird.” But now, if I ever go to Melbourne, I will hit them up. 

It was Ali’s birthday and we went camping in Waiparous. We took mushrooms on Saturday and just as they were beginning to fully kick in, the RCMP rolled in and kicked us out of our campsite. What a wild time to be faced with an interaction with the cops. Also - no one could drive except for two people who had stayed sober and they had to shuttle us to a new campsite. Have you ever tried setting up a tent on mushrooms? Do you know how difficult and hilarious it is? 

And lastly at the end of July, I went to Folk Fest. I saw Alvvays again. Front row! Like, against the barrier front row. It was awesome. It was folk fest that inspired me to cut my hair and get bangs again. No regrets. I love my bangs. I also experienced a level of street harassment that I didn’t know was possible from some random, innocent-seeming guy. It was terrifying. I called the police. No bueno. 

August 

In August, I got promoted at my job and basically became a baby manager. It was better in theory than in practice because my shifts got longer, I made less in tips (but more hourly), and the cash out for a restaurant is a long and frustrating process that depends on a lot of small pieces working together correctly in a big ass spreadsheet and I suck at math.

In happier news – August was also the establishment of podcast club. Podcast club is one of the best and dorkiest things I have ever been involved with. We pick a podcast each week to listen to, and get together on Sunday mornings at 10:00am to discuss the contents of the podcast. It was initially open to whomever wanted to come but has since whittled down to a core group and at this point, we’re all so close that it would almost be weird to introduce a new person into the mix. There is Kendal, who I go to school with and who started the whole club. Her boyfriend, Mitch. Lachlan and Maddy who are siblings. Matt, a YouTuber who was kind of a wildcard. Chad, also kind of a wildcard but who works as a youth counsellor – and me! Podcast club has made my life infinitely better and is probably the best thing to come out of 2018, in all honesty.

I also got obsessed with Harry Potter and read like almost the whole series and my new at the time roommates thought I was such a loser because I would literally post up on the couch in the living room with a HP book and they would come back five hours later and I hadn’t moved and all I wanted to talk about was Harry Potter. 

September / October / November 

I am lumping these three months together in this review because truly, they are lumped together in my mind and heart. 

On September 11, I started my first practicum at CommunityWise. I really had no idea what to expect when I started there but looking back, I cannot believe how hard I lucked out. The U of C is VERY clinically-based when it comes to how it educates and describes the practice of social work. CW was the opposite of it all and day-to-day so much happens there that it is honestly impossible not to get dragged in at such a deep level that it literally forces you to care. When I was in practicum, I did a lot of reading and I came across this concept of a “disorienting dilemma” which is “an experience within which a current understanding is found to be insufficient or incorrect and the learner struggles with the resulting conflict of views. Such experiences often are those to which learners point as the beginning of the process of questioning their understanding and views and entering the transformative learning process” (Source). Truly, being in that space over the course of 300 hours created this for me. I was forced to confront a lot of racist and otherwise problematic shit that I have been brought up with and that comes up in small ways for me that I try and quash down for the sake of saving face. Poverty, addiction, mental health issues showed up LITERALLY on the doorstep and I was thrown into it all. The experience was a disorienting dilemma and it shook me out of my bubble and I have never fallen so deeply in love with social work. My supervisor and I formed a VERY close relationship that probably broke some ethical and professional boundaries and she was there for me to discuss social issues and experiences I was having in an honest way that really deconstructed things. I had my debit card stolen by a client on one occasion, had to call the DOAP team because I witnessed people in overdose more times than I can count, had to talk many a person down from suicide, befriended a very mentally ill person who suffers from delusions that they are an alien in a human body sent here to observe earth and report back to their master. We had to kick someone out of a workshop for being racist. It was a wild ride, honestly. There were many many positive things to come out of practicum. I built my professional network in ways I never would have been able to, I was able to move out of the “student” realm and step into the role of a social worker and advocate and professional. I did a lot of public speaking! I was out in the community talking to a million different people. I made videos and posters. And the best part of all is that even when my practicum ended, my connection to CW did not. They have hired me on as a digital storytelling intern (paid!) for the new year. Which is a major confidence boost and I just love CW and everyone there so much. I will literally be forever grateful to them for taking me under their collective wing and showing me I have the skills and abilities to be an effective social worker :) 

Ahem. Now on to some not-so-good things... 

The end of October was kind of difficult because I was attempting to manage practicum responsibilities, actual class projects and homework, second-round practicum interviews, and Famoso. I was very stressed out and it was not good, especially because I got a rejection from one interview and didn’t even get an interview at my top choice. I was feeling very sorry for myself and may or may not have cried at my desk at practicum. It all worked out in the end though, and actually I was offered a placement at the first place I interviewed – they just took a while to get back to me. She called me to let me know this while I was on a run and being idiot me, I picked up… panting and gasping for air in Nose Hill Park. She was like, “We’d like to offer you the place… wait, are you okay?”

I would also like to just slide it in here that I slept with my ex in October. Which wasn’t a particularly momentous occasion and was actually kind of funny because it felt so much like a one night stand. I am mostly putting this in here because I don’t think many people know that and I want to see who reads this far.

Along similarish lines – I PUT MYSELF OUT THERE AND ASKED SOMEONE ON A STRAIGHT UP DATE AND GOT REJECTED AND IT WAS HONESTLY SO EMBARASSING AND BRUTAL and it’s okay now but oh… my god. This also happened around the same time as the rejections from practicum placements and I had such a bad night where I got drunk on my couch alone and Cayley brought me burnt ends from her new job at a brewery because she was #concerned for me and I didn’t want to be alone. That’s a true friend right there.

December 

December is only halfway done - but I feel I can summarize it accurately. It has been a nice, tidy wrap up to the year. A month of podcasts, cleaning my house and my car and my life up, a mysterious knee injury that is really fucking me up, working a lot at Famoso, finishing my practicum and school semester. One thing I am dreading is that my brother’s girlfriend who our family is not particularly fond of will be joining us in Saskatoon this year. But we’ll cross that bridge when we come to it. 

In General 

2018 has been very stressful for me. But despite the stress, and sometimes out of it, have come some very nice, beautiful things. I said last year in my post that I wanted to become more deeply involved in my community and in activism and social work and in that way I think I have excelled. I’m in it now, you guys. I feel capable. I feel motivated. I feel CONFIDENT. And I’m fucking excited to see what comes in the future. 

I nearly doubled the amount of people I’ve slept with so that’s... a notable thing that happened this year. 

It has been nice to feel a return to a sense of belonging with my old high school group of friends. In a way, I feel more united with them than ever. I guess not having a partner that they all hate helps. But also, I think I’ve just been feeling more and more like myself. But to Connor, Steven, Matt, Adam and the assortment of new(er) members that come and go - I am very grateful for you all. It has also been good for my heart and soul to become so close with people from podcast club. It’s actually like... really hard to make new friends. Podcast club made it easy. And I found myself on a Friday night in Maddy and Ben’s apartment, watching cooking shows and teaching them how to play card games, laughing until I cried and drinking wine. And it’s like... who else gets together on EVERY Sunday morning to discuss podcasts? For fun? I know relationships change and dissolve and grow from each year to the next but I just have a deep feeling that some of these friendships are the real deal. And I’m really lucky. It sounds so ~fake deep~ and lame but honestly podcast club is making me a better, happier, less anxious person. 

2019: 

I think 2019 is going to have to be the year that I really, truly grow the fuck up. I’m not mad about this. I look forward to crushing through 400 more hours of practicum, graduating and getting my degree. Hopefully entering the work force for real (this prospect is honestly so exciting to me... I creep the job boards every day daydreaming about what I might eventually do when I leave the world of waitressing) and making some adult money. 

I also like... totally got fat in 2018 so 2019 will involve some activities to counterbalance this. AND I have a ticket to Big Valley Jamboree. Which is hilarious because I think if you asked 2015 Megan what she’d never do, it would be “go to BVJ” but here I am, ticket in hand, excitement mounting by the day. Boots on, bitches. 

Some of my goals or things I’d like to work on in 2019 are to become less attached to social media and more invested in the actual moment/doing of things rather than recording them (ironic as I type this MASSIVE year in review post, yes), to get into a healthy and sustainable pattern of exercise where I don’t just like become obsessed with it for a little while and then slowly taper off and then do none of it for like six months... and honestly? I want to download a bunch of those dating apps again and just go for it. I think you can learn so much about yourself through dating and I’ve been such a recluse this year for the most part because I have been sort-of-but-not seeing someone since literally JULY but we’re not actually together and I don’t know what’s going on. I just need to get over my own insecurities and anxiety and just jump in with both feet. It’ll be fun. It’ll be crazy. I’m excited. 

The rest of it, as always, is an open book. Who knows where I will be, what I will be doing, or who I will be doing it with by this time next year? Not I. 

[vicfuentesslut]

PART 1 - last night was so amazing. started texting this dude yesterday cuz i was bored looking around on seeking arrangements for some random daddies to spoil me LOL. I already met two dudes from this app which werent bad but def not my type lolz. we moved to snap to talk n he sends a pic of his face DUDES CUTE AF so imlike hiiiii we had a convo just via sending pics and and he's actually hot ok all the pics are just green flags to me. so I ask him if he's free n he is .. he asks me and I say I am.. also he's smoking a joint in one of the first pics which is sexy afff I luv potheads !immediate turn !on there's like a lack of pot smokers on SA lol I swear. I was also drinking this watermelon basil cider drink so I was a lil tipsy during our convo. he's like how much do u wanna be spoiled cutie n my drunk ass was like 800 HOE!!! he's like lol that's a lot Ill give u 300 when u come over and once we know there's chemistry ill spoil u all u want baby. AND get u sexy lingerie ! and i’m like ok bet u like lingerie ? i show him some of my sets n he tells me to wear the red one. killing a blunt roach while i smoke this vanilla backwood roach to the fucking bone! i put a cute casual sexy fit on drank a lil coffee smoked joint eventually he called the uber after i thought he was gonna chicken out lolzand I was on the wayyyy it was a long ride like 30/40 mins i just listened to my emo music in the back . when I arrive to his beautiful tall front door nd he opens it this motherfuckr is like TALL AS FUCKKKKK this dudes chin is above the top of my head he mist be six five or some shit . SO SEXY MY HEART IS RACING ! and his apartment is huge and beautiful and clean and perfect . incredible bathtub porn shower amazing place overall. after I peed in his sexy bathroom and checked out my sexy face in the mirror I sat at his kitchen counter and he started rolling a joint immediately the conversation was flowing and natural and amazing . we start smoking the joint he smokes cigarettes too which is hot so I smoke a cig our conversations were wonderful fr i rolled us a blunt we smoked it outside in his cute backyard . he was doing coke too lol! to relight the blunt we came back outside and we got really cozy under a blanket and we started kissing his lips were soft and he kisses with tongue in the sexiest way. also he was kissing my neck so fucking perfectly fuck . he kept telling me how good i tasted over n overrrr (๑˃̵ᴗ˂̵)we came back inside and continued making out on his amazing couch he touched me so goodddddr and was so verbal communicative i loved it when he undressed me he told me to just stand up a second so he could admire how incredible i looked in the bra.. heheee he was touching me all over n sucking on my titties and grabbing me in alllll the right places okay….. i took my pants off and bra off .. panties …. he’s so big and warm and i love it. he ate me out and played with me and i was sooooo soaked the whole time i gave him wonderful head too mhm and we fucked he was annoyed he was on coke saying that he was gonna fuck me for 12 hours straight next time. i could taste his coke on my lips the bitter chemical taste bleeding into my mouth . he said he wanted to snort a line off my body n was like do it sexy so he snorted a line off my belly and licked the rest off it was hot we took breaks between making out and fucking for water and spliffs and cigarettes . he called me an uber around 1:30 i got home 2 ish and had some food and slept in like a baby till 11 am …. he was so cute and perf and i loved his apartment and his energy and everything he said and the way he touched me his voice his tattoos everything . i really like this guy. i told him about this concert for this dude i’m seeing on friday near his place and he told me to come over afterwards which i love . we already set our plans for the next time im gonna text him tmr to make sure we’re still on n catch his addy :P

[spinachdrum]

Day 7 & 8 - Sinchon BBQ and Insadong!

So on Day 8 we didn’t do that much! We laid around in bed because we had plans to meet our friend for dinner in Sinchon and eat at this BBQ place she used to eat at when she was here for a semester! 

We waited outside for an hour to eat at this place. A whole hour in the cold. IN THE COLD. FOR BBQ. 

And you know what? It was WORTH IT.

This was easily the best kbbq I’ve ever had. Like, oh my god it was soooooo good?! They dump kimchi (or some type of kimchi, it’s a lot sweeter than normal kimchi) on half of it, and that shit just COOKS while you’re letting the meat and stuff cook. There’s not a TON of meat options but the two that we got were SO GOOD. We got multiple rounds of this one type (I wish I had figured out what it was huhu) because it was so damn good. We had that and samgyeopsal. I also drank 2 beers and some soju and was feeling LIT after both hahaha. 

LOOK AT ALL THIS!!!! 

God it was so good. 

After we left we went down in the subway station at Sinchon and not only was there a Kakao friends mini store where I bought an expensive ass portable battery shaped like Ryan and almost drunkenly forgot my debit card (thanks Jerry, you’re a real one) but there was a NERDY STOREEEEE. 😭Jonghyun from CNBlue like, owns NERDY so seeing it in the wild makes me so happy. I even took a picture of it to feel close to my man, LMAO.

Then we went home and I went to bed, lol.

DAY 9

Today we went to Insadong!! It was really neat, there was a lot of traditional stuff there, but it was also more modern than I was expecting? We didn’t go to the Hanok village because I wasn’t paying attention and walked in the complete opposite direction from it and by the time we headed back to Anguk station we were both pretty tired and hungry and wanted to head back. 

However! Anguk station is really pretty and has a lot of art! 

We took the advice of this travel video that we watched and took a shortcut to Insadong main streets by going through this TINY little alley way. It was still super neat because it was lined with the tiniest tea houses and little cafes and restaurants.

When you come out of exit 6 at Anguk station, you’ll see the police station on the left, and  the entrance of this alley way is like directly across from the subway entrance! It’s hard to miss. Go through here and you’ll get right to the middle of Insadong main street! 

(main street of Insadong)

This was in the corner. Sooooo much good smelling food.

We ended up going to this little restaurant down an alley and omg, the yookgaejang was so damn good.

There was quite a bit tucked away in this alley! We ate here:

Size of a shoebox but worth the navigating. I love fooooood!! 

We walked around for a little bit, checking out shops and stuff, and then LO AND BEHOLD I FOUND A CAT CAFE AND I ALMOST CRIED.

It’s called 2CATS and it’s on the 3rd floor at Insadong!! Omg I was so happy. I didn’t find a good cat cafe yet and I wanted to go to one so bad, lol.

The stairway up to it was COVERED in these little framed pictures of famous people with cats. DOES IT GET ANY BETTER THAN THIS?

Spoiler alert: YES

So fancy. It looked like a cat museum! It was W12,000 to get in and you got a free drink! 

This was the first cat I encountered and SO CUUUUUTE in the sweater!! Her name is Cleo and she was sooo soft. 

I got a peach juice and it was super yummy. We sat down by this little wall where there was a cat sleeping away with a toy tucked into her paws. 

AHHHH. And then SHE WOKE UP! She’s a scottish fold and her name is Beonya. Adorable. So cute. Loved pets.

Seriously this place was decorated sooo cutely. All those photos framed are photos of famous people holding cats LOL. There’s so much space for the cats to run around and so many little shelves and places to sleep so they can be up high near the ceiling! 

I forgot this cat’s name but look how PUUUURDYYYY. This cat loved pets and let me pet it for a good five minutes uninterrupted.

This is kind of hard to see, but there’s a cat SITTING IN MY LAP AHHHHH. You can buy a bag of chicken at this place to give the cats treats for only W2,000!! The cats are sooo cute when they’re waiting for you to feed them, or they might just jump into your lap. There was a younger tween aged girl who was feeding one and she didn’t see the one waiting so it jumped on her shoulder!! It was sooo cute, she was so surprised but she giggled and gave it treats and then it sauntered away~

But seriously the chicken treats made alllll the cats come out and give lovin’ and get treats. Look at these!! 

A BEAUTY.

Climbing into my lap for treats. Give me pleas, ma’am. 

Gorg. This cat was so sweet and took treats so sweetly. 

This cat was so FLUFFY!!! It was a little more aggressive about taking treats--if you weren’t fast enough, it tried to take them from your hand with its paw LOL.

I LITERALLY AM IN LOVE WITH THIS CAT!! It was so weird looking. I’m pretty sure it was like a mix of dwarf cat and something else because it honestly looked like a pipe cleaner you use for crafts. But it was soooooooo cute and so friendly and rubbed on my legs for FOREVER and even wanted tummy pets. I love this cat and I already miss it I wanted to take it home so bad ksjsfkjgfg.

Me living my literal best life surrounded by cats.

The door, hehe.

After we left, we just walked around a little. We watched them make Dragon’s Beard candy and the guy making it was so cute!! He did a demo for us and gave us a little sample of it. Watch here:

We saw this tiny little mall thing but didn’t go into any of the shops because it was REALLY crowded in there. However Insadong was really, really cool and I’m hoping we’ll make time to visit the Hanok village before we go! 

So pretty. 

After that, we just went to a restaurant by our Airbnb and came back to the room. I took a shower and now we’re just relaxing getting ready for bed--tomorrow we’re off to Gangnam to see the COEX Mall and stuff! 

Bye until next time, and dream of cats! 

[nuclearmu5hroom]

@ashleyanthrax, @free-hugs-for-ghouls, and @slickmedici sent me a whole bunch of lovely asks about Chell :D  I am going to answer them all here instead of individually since  there were a few that were the same.

#2  Method of fighting: prefers pistols but not at long range. Not a fan of melee since she isn't terribly strong and gets staggered easily.

#3 Secondary weapon: Chell prefers to use her .45, which is actually a modified version of the Deliverer (the mod is Deliverer Mach 2). Removed the suppressor and upgraded the receiver on it too. The thing is almost OP but not quite; still takes a few shots to take down a higher level enemy.

#4  Companion and Relationship: Hancock. Loves him and wants him to feel good about himself. She blew up the Institute last night and is thinking about taking the next step with him (ring a ding ding) but with the arrival of Shaun she’s working through those emotions before anything.

#5 Family life before the Bomb: Chaotic. Nearly up until the Bomb she was away at the Alaskan front. Her relationship with Nate was ok before then, but then she really suffered emotionally when she was forced to fight. Chell intended it divorce Nate but then she was shipped out again before she could see a lawyer. She wasn't thrilled to find out she was pregnant during her second tour but she committed to it and tried to make it a positive experience. After Shaun was born, things actually seemed pretty good if not busy; she was going through therapy both physically and mentally, and her relationship with Nate was improving.

#6 Favorite kind of post apocalyptic food: Really likes Squirrel on a Stick. Reminds her of the teriyaki kabobs she would get at the Chinese Restaurant in Cambridge. When she’s at home she’ll usually make stews or cook steaks or ribs on the grill. She’s not a fan of Nuka Cola unless it was mixed with alcohol (never really was, that shit rots your teeth if you drink too much) so she’ll stick to water or straight up liquor or beer.

#7 Worst Mutation: Chell feels awful for Radstags and Brahmin, but moreso the deer. Most of them look like they’re in pain and if she comes across any that are wounded she’ll put them down as humanely as possible.

#8 Opinions of Synths: As an operative of the Railroad and General of the Minutemen it is her duty to protect them and keep them safe. Synths didn't choose to be brought into existence but here they are and they have free will. That makes them just as valid as any human in her eyes so all of her settlements are safe places for people just trying to make a living or people who are trying to escape the Commonwealth in order to pursue a better life.

#9 Worst memory so far: Definitely watching her baby get kidnapped and her husband shot. She carries an extreme amount of guilt that Nate died before they completely reconciled. She also is angry at the fact that he wouldn't let her hold Shaun in the Pod with her to begin with. It wasn't until recently she started to loosen up on that guilt; working with the Minutemen helps her keep things in perspective that other people have it worse, even in her extreme case. Still, it doesn't stop the nightmares.

#10 Best memory so far: The first time she took Hancock to Sunshine Tidings Co-Op. They spent a few days there helping to build new houses; John was enamored with the place. She took him to the Lonely Chapel down the hill from it and they spent the afternoon getting pleasantly buzzed and making love in the grass.

#17 Collections: Chell still grabs all the Pre War Money she can get her hands on. Turns out it still has some value and it helps her feel a little normal carrying cash on her. She also totally loves the Robot Model kits and goes out of her way to find them. Next up would be the comics....alllll the comics. The colors of the covers, the heroism....110% her jam.

#18 Favorite animal (mutated or not): As stated before she has a huge affinity for Radstags. She also loves the wolves of Far Harbor too and likes to tame one while she’s wandering around up north. And of course, who doesn't love Dogmeat <3

#20 Opinion of the War: When Chell started at CIT, the plan was to get her degree and put her effort into finding a cure for the plague that was ravaging the population. Either that or the more mundane option of becoming a local Pharmacist. Once her aptitude became apparent, the Army just swooped in and annexed her like they did everything else. She did her duty, albeit somewhat resentful but was proud of her accomplishments. Then her commanding officer told her that she was being deployed to Anchorage to assist with their Psycho program. Again, she went, but hated every moment of it. They forced her to experiment on captive Chinese soldiers, watched good men die from the chemicals she created. She drank heavily and used chems herself to deaden the feelings inside. They were the good guys, right? Right?! Towards the end of her first tour her compound was blown up by a mortar and she fled into the dark with a rifle she picked up from a dead guards hands. Basic training had given her enough knowledge on handling it in order to use it effectively until she got to the escape rendezvous but shooting and killing these people left her scarred and hateful of herself and her country. This wasn't what she signed up for.  

[romancevsreality-blog]

vanderpump rules, season five, episode nineteen: i hate it when jax is right

Welcome back!

You look gorgeous!

Jax shows up at Tom’s apartment for egg smoothie time, because of course Tom Sandoval is the kind of friend who will make you a beet smoothie with a raw egg in it when you come over. They talk about Tom Schwartz’s triplet brothers, who, two days before the wedding, are not coming. I know Katie1 claims she planned this wedding in eight weeks, but this is family. It’s not even edited to try to make any sense of it all. Jax and Sandoval are spending $1500 on tickets for Tom’s brothers to come as a surprise. It’s a nice surprise and all, but… shouldn’t Tom have allotted some of that $50k wedding money for flights and accommodations for his own family? Literally, the money Katie spent on ugly ass tea towel/cum rag wedding invitations should have been spent making sure Tom’s family was there. As if I needed more of a reason to hate Katie, this one feels the most valid.

Kristen, Brittany, Stassi, and Scheana all arrive at the alterations shop to try on their bridesmaids dresses, and I have zero opinions about them.

Y’all know that’s a straight up lie - however, I don’t think these are the worst bridesmaids dresses I’ve ever seen. They’re grey satin, with a halter neck that Brittany is busting out of, and a slit so high these girls definitely can’t wear underwear. The fabric looks cheap, and the lace-up silver heels don’t help matters much. I love the color, the pockets and the length, though and yes, Katie - it is hard to find a dress that’s suitable for eight different body types, but maybe next time don’t have so many fucking bridesmaids? Maybe?2

Alas, we get further clues into how Katie and Tom funded this wedding - a sponsored scene at a Dylan’s Candy Bar where Tom’s collecting candy for the favors! We’ve already seen this once, with Scheana and her wedding, so I hope Dylan Lauren is getting her moneys’ worth. Jax picks out candy corn, as if I didn’t hate Jax enough.

Let me talk to you about candy corn. Candy corn is the god damn fucking devil’s candy. It’s not even candy. I firmly believe Yankee Candle sells all their extra wax-bits to candy companies and they’re like “Oooh, we have stock for next year’s candy corns!!!” What the hell flavor are candy corn even supposed to have? Sugary death? You know who probably liked candy corn? John Wayne Gacy. That guy who kept his daughter in the basement for years and had children with her. Steve Bannon. There are a million other ways to get a sugar craving fixed other than eating candy corn. Go make out with Mrs. Butterworth, for god’s sake. Candy corn is the reason we have the president we do. Candy corn is the reason we cannot have good things. It tastes like asshole. No, candy corn. No.3

Jax redeems himself immediately by loving on sour belts. I love all sour candies. I know Tom Sandoval is all “sugar-free, blah blah blah” but there’s zero fat content in Sour Patch candies. My friend with a massive eating disorder in high school taught me that. Sure, it’s a ton of sugar and chemicals that probably aren’t great for you, but zero fat. I’d rather eat that than ever eat a sugar-free Lemonhead.

I have opinions about candy. They are controversial. Mostly that Snickers are overrated and Butterfingers don’t get the proper respect they deserve. When did this become a candy blog?

Stassi was having anxiety about not having a date to the wedding, but she’s not concerned anymore. She just wants to have fun with her friends, and weddings are also great places to meet eligible bachelors. And she’s right and all, but she’s also… going to the wedding of her two best friends? I doubt there is going to be anyone there that Stassi hasn’t met, and if she hasn’t met them… they’re probably someone’s date. She’s fooling herself. Anyway, Scheana’s still trying to pretend that her marriage is perfect and there is some editor just relishing every time they have footage of her saying things like, “Shay and I went to therapy ONCE, and we never needed to go again. We learned to communicate.” Yeah, like how he communicated that he was stealing all your money and disappearing, Scheana? Like that? The cameras cut to Stassi looking hilariously bewildered, just like the rest of America. In all seriousness, though, watching the giddiness and excitement they all have as the wedding gets closer just makes me even more angry. They are ALL, and especially Katie, excited for a wedding and not even a marriage. Even Tom Schwartz is like, “All we need to do is get up there and do the damn thing,” as if they’re going to play chess and not make a life-long4 commitment after you “do the damn thing”. He’s excited to get drunk with his friends in a suit, Katie’s excited to get drunk with her friends in a dress, and neither of them seem to be particularly excited about being legally bound to the other for the rest of time.5

We’re back at Sexy Unique Restaurant, where Katie and Scheana are talking to Jax, and we get another moment of Scheana Schadenfreude when she’s like, “yeah, our first year of marriage was shitty, but at least we got through it now instead of ten years down the line where there are kids around.” Clearly that didn’t work out. Scheana wants to go to a fertility doctor, though, becuase hopefully by the next year, she’ll be pregnant and have a house.

I AM CRYING LAUGHING. OH MY GOD. And I laughed even harder when Jax, who is so old that his mom went into a shallow hole in the ground covered in animal skin and his dad pushed on her belly to get him out like the polar Eskimos, was like, “I’m pretty sure Shay has to be in the same ROOM as Scheana to make a baby.” Sex Ed, with Jayson “Jax Taylor” Couchy.

There’s a completely unnecessary scene of Lisa Vanderpump riding a horse up to Sexy Unique Restaurant, lead to another scene of Lisa pretending she has any involvement with the regular day-to-day ongoings of the restaurant. She catches a glass of sangria headed to a table, and damn, if that isn’t a short pour. There isn’t even any fruit in there. Lisa claims that Sexy Unique Restaurant has “the best pours”, but this articleshows me that their most popular drink has exactly 2 oz of vodka, and according to my bartender brother, that’s a very generous pour. I’m genuinely shocked, considering Sexy Unique Restaurant is basically just a tourist trap in WeHo. Good for you, Lisa, giving your customers what they deserve. For the prices they charge, I BETTER be getting a fucking double. Jax admits he fucked up - but not after at least trying to blame someone else by asking if someone drank out of it, Classic Jax - and then decides that at work, in the middle of his shift, he’s going to tell Lisa about Scheana’s decision to freeze some eggs. This seems entirely appropriate. Jax just doesn’t think it’s a good idea because... where is Shay, anyway? No one’s seen him. He’s been cynical about their marriage since day one, and mostly just wants to make sure that Scheana has the support system she needs.

Does anyone else think Jax and Scheana banged on the DL? Anyone else? Or is this the way Jax treats women he hasn’t slept with - with kindness, consideration, and overall decency?

Lisa says what she should be saying every time one of these people comes to her to talk about someone else - “It’s not my business until she makes it my business,” and tells Jax to get back to work.

Stassi’s storyline this season is Single Sexy Stassi In The City, and so she decides that she needs to have a photoshoot as a “pick-me-up”. When I need a “pick-me-up”, I go on ASOS and spend my entire paycheck. Or I go to ABC Kitchen and yell “GIMME ALLLLL THE CRAB TOAST!” Or I take a four hour nap. I don’t have a photoshoot. She’s going to be wearing a polka-dot mesh bodysuit and two other outfits. It’s... not the most flattering look, but she rocks it in the best way possible.

Remember last week when I was like, “Where is Lala? Where is James?” As soon as James came back, I just felt like screaming. Just the sound of his accent is so grating to me. If I didn’t have to write this blog, I would just fast forward through it. So instead, I’m gonna get a beer so I can suffer through this. James may not drink anymore, but I have to drink in order to tolerate him.

Okay, I’m back, and I have my beer. James is meeting with his walking vocal fry of a girlfriend and her mother and her sister, who I could have sworn was Kelly Dodd from Real Housewives of Orange County. I hope someone gets called a cunt at this dinner, and the likelihood is even higher now. James tells us the difference between Raquel and Kristen - Raquel is a queen, Kristen is “like a hooker that you fuck on the hood of your BMW in a car park,” which in case you forgot - ACTUALLY HAPPENED BETWEEN KRISTEN AND JAMES. James, it’s not an insult if it actually happened and you didn’t pay her. Basically, James admits that he doesn’t have a job because he got fired for having a hair-trigger temper and couldn’t stop getting into fights and his job. Remember: he’s saying this to his girlfriend’s mother and sister. If my boyfriend admitted any of this to my family over dinner, my mom would look at me, and say, “Who is this unemployed white boy that can’t even hold down a bus boy job in their mid-twenties, Amanda, are you smoking crack? Get him outta here.” and I would do so promptly and then sit down and finish my pesto pasta6 while we listen to Luther Vandross.

James tries to smooth it over by being like, “I love your daughter, and I love you all too, you’re my family,” when her mom shows some (deserved) skepticism. He actually cries when they say they trust him (WHY) and he says that he sees a future with Raquel. I am cackling. Can you spend your life with a vocal fry? I mean, Kanye West did it, so why can’t the White Kanye West7?

Katie is wearing one of the worst outfits I have ever seen her wear - a lilac maxi dress over a navy t-shirt - and they’re getting ready to head up to the wedding venue. Another sign that the planning of this made no sense - they’re bringing the cake up with them, two days before the wedding even is set to take place. That cake is gonna be nasty by the time they cut into it. They’re spending $50k on a wedding but not... having... the cake delivered? Tom wears fucking flip-flops while carrying it down the steps and nearly falls, and I’m thinking, “YOU COULD HAVE PAID SOMEONE TO CARRY THIS FOR YOU.”

I am straight up being Jessica Fletcher with my investigation into the Strange Planning of This Wedding, and I am LIVING.

They’re bringing a pinata with them, and Stassi’s like, “Knowing Tom and Katie, that pinata is probably full of condoms, gummy bears, Ninja Turtle action figures... maybe some weed.” And I’m like, “Do we know this about Tom & Katie? Do we?” I’ve never known them to be that kind of fun couple, unfortunately. They’ve never shown us them as that kind of couple.

Back at Sexy Unique Restaurant, Jax is behind the bar, Brittany is asking about goat cheese balls8, and... LALA’S BAAAAAAACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! She’s been gone for two months, and Ariana is shook and not particularly happy to see her. Lala’s got a lot to say to Ariana that she didn’t feel appropriate or okay with saying over text - mostly how sorry she is for not showing up to her birthday. She says that sometimes when things get tough, she shuts down. She admits she’s not the easiest person to be friends with because of it. She’s in actual tears when this happens. Lala came by to tell Lisa to her face that she’s not going to work at Sexy Unique Restaurant anymore - I mean, I doubt she still had a job, but it’s nice to... get closure, I guess?

Lisa’s pretending to work at a computer when Lala comes in, and Lisa, much like Ariana, is SHOOK. Lisa does the classic Lisa thing where she reminds people of how much she’s done for them, but also reminds her that yeah - if you have a job, that’s a responsibility you can’t just disappear from. One of my favorite quotes of all time is from Mindy Kaling - “Sometimes you just have to put on lip gloss and pretend to be psyched.” I’ve suffered from some form of depression since I was eleven years old. In the fourteen years since my first suicide attempt, I’ve learned to cope with it. Some days it’s literally impossible for me to get out of bed. Sometimes I’m on the verge of tears at work. But I also have this problem wherein which I care far too much about what others think of me, and live in chronic fear of disappointing anyone, so I show up. I come in, and I smile, and pretend like everything’s okay. Sometimes you have to do it, and it always sucks. Lala apologizes to Lisa, who basically is like, “thanks, but you weren’t totally honest about what was going on in your life.” Lala assumes she’s talking about her personal life, and admits that sometimes she makes the wrong decisions. She starts crying and admits what Lisa wanted her to - she suffers from anxiety, and that makes her life hard to deal with. I’m crying along with her. I get this so much.

I personally think it’s massively unfair that I can’t call out of work “depressed” or “anxious”. I’m mentally ill, I’m sick. But because no one can catch depression or anxiety, that’s not a valid excuse. The stigma around mental illness has made it so that it’s hard to even admit to other people that’s what’s going on. I wish I could tell my friends, “I’m sorry, I’m anxious today, I can’t hang out.” I mean, I could, but I fear the ramifications of me admitting that. It’s hard to admit to others when you’re less than okay. When I get overwhelmed, I shut down. I stop talking to people. I go on Do Not Disturb and I lay in my bed. This is my coping mechanism, and it’s not a great one. The cruelest thing is that Lisa seems to dismiss this as if it’s just “Oh, young, kooky Lala, at it again!” and not as the real issue that it is.

I hope Lala’s getting the help and support she needs. I really do.

In the car on the way up to the wedding venue, we find out that Tom Schwartz’s dad isn’t coming along with (so he thinks) his brothers. Meanwhile, Kristen and her overly-manicured boyfriend, Carter9 are packing their bags, when Kristen drops the accidental surprise bomb about Tom’s brothers after being told by Brittany early in the episode. Jax had gotten mad at Brittany for telling Kristen, but... Jax actually has a worse track record with keeping secrets than Kristen did. Kristen was prepared to take the secret that she fucked Jax to the grave.

Katie and Tom have arrived at their Woodsy Elegance Wedding venue, where someone carries the cake, and they’re given the shocking amount of their wedding. Another clue as to the fact that Bravo is probably paying for this - they would have to at least put down a final payment two WEEKS before the wedding, not two days before. The grand total for their wedding is $51,462 and change. Remember how Tom was like, “oh, wow, I’m dolphinately not spending $50k for a wedding”?? He didn’t, technically. And they’re paying by check, which is the EASIEST WAY TO TELL THEY’RE NOT PAYING FOR THIS WEDDING THEMSELVES.

Let’s also talk about the things that aren’t included in this:

Tom & The Groomspeople’s custom suits

Those ugly ass $18 tea towel invites

BOOZE

WEED

Cake

Various forms of entertainment

Bridal party gifts and favors

Flowers

Photography

This is an $85,000 wedding, at least.

Kristen and ugh, Carter10 show up, and Tom is lamenting writing a $20,000 check when that’s the same amount he owes on his student loans. Here he is, spending it all on a party. But here’s the thing, Tom - NO ONE IS STOPPING YOU. You’re entirely complicit in this. I know your parents went bankruptbut... you can totally just say, “Hey, why don’t we put this money towards me NOT being in debt?” They probably make $20,000 extra a year just doing stupid Instagram sponsorships. They can afford it. But this won’t come up again in a fight, no sir.

Speaking of Rachael O’Brien, she came with Stassi to the wedding! Apparently she and Stassi got lost driving up in the dark and were without cell phone service, but the camera in their car was still working, so they probably weren’t that scared. She’s surprised no one cares. If people cared, it would have been more than just a blip in the episode, Stass.

It’s the day before Katie and Tom’s wedding, and they’re all eating breakfast. Tom Sandoval did the most Tom Sandoval thing, which is losing his suit and that subsequently missing his flight because of it. God, I love you, Tom Sandoval. We hear that Tom’s dad isn’t coming to the wedding because he  hates flying, his brothers can’t afford to come, and his sister can’t come because she’s working - in case you forgot, Tom and Katie got married on a Wednesday.11

We see everyone in else in LA getting ready - Jax is anxious because Tom’s brothers aren’t the most reliable of people, and Scheana and Shay are... tense. Oh my god. Shay is so clearly over this group, this show, and definitely over Scheana. But it’s also strange because.. She just asked him if he wanted anything to eat or drink up there at the house, because Kristen was asking, and he exploded. Huh. At Reno-Tahoe Airport, Lisa Vanderpump arrives with Ken, Giggy, and another fluff ball12 with Pandora and Jason. They’re staying at a resort, and Lisa is astonished by the... woodsyness of it all. She and Ken discuss whether or not Tom’s going to go through with it all. We know he does, but they’re valid in their arguments - Ken mentions that yeah, they’ve never seen Tom complete any task. Ever.

Back at the house, Jax, Brittany, and Ariana arrive, sans Sandoval13, and we learn that Sandoval got to the gate right as the doors were closing, so he missed his flight and will miss tubing that day. Meanwhile, Jax and Brittany are sleeping in the parlour room, and guess what?

The Schwartz Triplets missed their flight. Of course.

To Be Continued...

See you tomorrow!

Random Thoughts From The Desk Of Amanda:

Katie is the definition of “just because it’s trendy, doesn’t mean you should do it.”

I love that they made zero reference to the fact that we’ve seen them at Dylan’s Candy Bar Before - with Scheana.

Has no one told Tom Sandoval that sugar-free candy gives you the shits? Someone send him a bag of Haribo Sugar-Free Gummy Bears. 

I never thought it possible that there could be someone less motivated that Tom Schwartz, but... his brothers seem to be a mess.

And by Katie, I mean BRAVO PRODUCTION because none of the planning of this wedding is making any sense. ↩︎

This whole wedding has been an exercise in Katie showing off how Pretty and Popular she is. Most people don’t use their weddings to show off to their high school bullies, but then again, most people aren’t on reality television. ↩︎

Next time on Romance vs. Reality, AMANDA GOES IN ON PEEPS. FUCK YOU, PEEPS. WHAT DID BIRDS DO TO DESERVE THIS TREATMENT? ↩︎

Or in their case, twenty-six-month-long - I’m giving them a strong estimate, knowing they probably won’t last that long. ↩︎

God bless the people I associate with, because I don’t think any of them would get married just for a party. It helps not to romanticize things like that. ↩︎

Is it basil season yet? I would die for some of my mother’s pasta. ↩︎

I have refused to call James this on my blog because he calls himself that, but... I really couldn’t help myself. ↩︎

I have a high standard of cheese that has been deep fried - I will fight anyone over the last Three Cheese Ball from Olga’s Kitchen, a metro Detroit classic - but I weirdly doubt the goat cheese balls at Sexy Unique Restaurant are anything special. Now I want Olga’s, though. God damn it. ↩︎

Carter has literally done nothing this season but I fucking HATE him. I love a put-together dude, I am so pro-metrosexuality or really, men putting effort into their looks - hell I adore Tom Sandoval for doing so - but god, I really feel like Carter spends hours on his face. I bet Kristen is always on top when they have sex because Carter spent all his energy shaving. I hate Carter and his white supremacist haircut. ↩︎

Next season, I hope Carter goes with Rachael O’Brien and Vail Bloom into the Vanderpump Dungeon of Doom. ↩︎

Straight up though - why aren’t these people in the bridal party, either? In either of my brothers’ hypothetical weddings (that will never happen but still) if their respective partners don’t put me in their wedding parties... I mean. That’s lifetime beef. That’s forever beef. I would never say that directly to them, but... some things you never forget. ↩︎

Sometimes I’m worried about the lack of agency Lisa Vanderpump’s dogs seem to have. ↩︎

Sansdoval. ↩︎

[downbythewater-beachblondee]

9 | The Don was...slippin’

October 31st 1987

"Naomi!"

The most wonderful time of the year had finally arrived during the fall of 87 and I wanted to be a princess. I saw all the new and exciting costumes in the mall and on television. No matter how many times I begged ma to get them for me she refused, claiming Halloween was a pagan holiday and shouldn't be celebrated as extensively as it was.

But my daddy got me exactly what I wanted. He got the biggest, cutest, puffiest dress from the store matched with sparkliest, pearliest crown. He knew I liked it so much.

"Naomi!" She called again.

"Ma'am?"

"Let's go. We getting ready for church-"

She caught me putting my princess outfit on. And boy, was she mad.

"Aw naw. Where. In. The. Hell. Did you get that from missy. Does your father know about this? Synnedy! Synnedy!"

My heart pumped as I knew my daddy would take up for me and somehow convince her into letting me wear it for the night, without having to trail behind her during church.

I could hear his footsteps pounding onto the hardwood stairs and his hyperbolic panting once he reached the top floor. "Yes ma'am." He greeted, placing his left hand on my mother's shoulder.

She glared at him without speaking, the way only mothers know how to do. He smiled towards me, unaware of the issue at hand.

"What?" He asked.

"Do you see this?"

"See what?"

"This!" She scoffed. "Do you know about this?"

His arms weighed down to the floor as if they carried the weight of the world. Now, I know they did. But then, I knew he was trying to be funny.

He hopped up lifting my feet off of the ground and bouncing me on the bed.

"You mean, this old thing?!" He bubbled.

My mother, in spite of her disagreement, had to let go of a smile.

"You're a joke, Syn. Don't you know that?" She gushed.

He humped his shoulders, as if they were being plundered by a ventriloquist.

"You caught me."

I hid behind my dads shoulder, hoping he would protect me from the evil reign of my mother.

"I still don't like the outfit." Said my mother.

"Ahh...come on Whitney. Let her have fun tonight. Just for about 30 minutes. I'll watch her."

Ma's eyes traced between me and dad. Her grin never faded, and surprisingly she agreed with him. I wasn't surprised. My dad could do anything, including persuading mom.

Something impossible to do without skill.

"You two have fun. I'm going to church."

My dad and I did an Eskimo kiss with our noses before I got up and twirled around.

I picked up my magic wand and tapped the floor as if I had magically made everything happen.

Me and my daddy were going on an adventure.

☾

"I got alllll the candy in the world!"

I was explaining to my babydolls how much candy I had gotten and how I couldn't wait to chow down on it after dinner.

"What, sweetie? What? Can you hush for a second? Damn it. Go to your room. Go to your room!"

Baffled, I did as I was told and I didn't speak for the rest of the night.

For a little while I would peak through the door and see momma and daddy whispering amongst some papers at the table. Mom would cry and dad would stay calm. Whatever they were talking about went completely over my head.

When it was time for bed, daddy didn't come in my room to kiss me goodnight. So when it got late enough and the moon fell against my window, I slipped out of bed and creeped to the kitchen.

When I got down there, I heard a bump coming from the bathroom. So I ran to it, frightened.

The door was closed but not locked.

I heard my daddy's voice, yelling and trailing out like a lingering piece of silk.

I opened the door.

Daddy was strung out onto the floor, convulsing and spouting for air as his head lay crooked against the bath tub. His eyes rolled around like yoyo's and blood spurred from his mouth.

"Dad!" I screamed. "Dad, what's wrong!?"

His movements grew wilder and wilder, so much that I thought he would rise up and shake his head as if he were joking, like Michael Jackson on thriller. But then, he quieted down. And then, he was pronounced dead on the first of November.

As my cousin would say, he drank the wrong koolaid.

☾

Sanaa

"Ooo, get this one."

Peaches waved a purple rose in her babies face. The child smiled, toothlessly before falling back asleep.

"What a cutie."

Peaches and I were currently shopping. My roses had run out and I needed some more. Also, the house needed incense. We had the five finger special.

The life cart was gone and I had no money.

"...Sanaa..." she breathed.

"Yes mama?" I liked calling her that.

"...I wanted to thank you. Thank you for letting us stay with you. I promise it will only be for a little while."

"Don't even dream of mentioning it, sweetie. You're welcome where I'm welcome."

"Thank you...so much."

My attention lingered towards the candles.

"Mmm, this smells good." I gleaned, waving the glass container around.

"It looks good...speaking of looking good...where's that beaux of yours?"

"Beaux? I know nothing of the sort." I pranced. "I'm only joking. If you're referring to Elijah...well...I haven't talked to him in a while."

"Oh, you haven't? I'm sure he'll come back around, huh?"

"I hope so. I miss him."

We swam around through the store, stuffing a few items in our breasts cautiously trying not to get caught by the store clerk. Peaches hid a few things away in Mariposa's blanket.

I turned the corner, attempting to stuff another folded rose into my bra when someone caught my eye, sending my entire body into a shiver.

As much as I believed in the life of free reign, I had never committed a crime. And I didn't want to start today.

"Oh my god...do you work here?" I asked, afraid of the persons response.

"No I don't." She smiled. "But I'll be happy to tell the manager you're folding roses in your tits if you don't tell me your name."

"It's Sanaa."

"I'm kidding." She beamed. "But in that case...I'm Rosie."

After my heart finished bouncing, I picked it back up and placed it back into my chest. Then I shook her hand nervously.

"Hello, Rosie. In Sanaa, as you already might know."

"Hello, and this is?" She asked, pointing towards Peaches.

"This is Peaches. Peaches, this is Rosie."

They said their hello's before Rosie returned her attention towards me.

"You seem like an interesting soul, titty stuffer. I'd really like to stay in touch."

"Me too." I thanked. "Except, I don't have a cell phone."

"Oh...well, that sucks. I guess I'll literally just have to see you around then..."

"I guess so."

Her short nails traced against her tattooed chest.

Her apple shaped face creased into a smile pairing dewy skin melted against the piercings in her nose, eyebrow, and lips.

She was gorgeous.

"...I'm staying near the double tree hotel...if you're ever near there....I stay in room 226..." she mentioned.

"I'll keep that in mind."

The creases of her mouth twirled towards the sky and with one swift turn of her neck, her black hair followed her into the sunlight.

"My names Rosie." Peaches mocked, noticing my amusement.

"Tend to your children mama. Let's get out of here."

_____________

"Help me put this mess where it needs to go."

Peaches and I were dancing and cleaning whilst adding the freshly cut roses into their appropriate glasses.

"Turn this up! This is my shit!" Peaches demanded to my surprise.

"Yes ma'am."

I did as told, cutting the radio up as loud as it could go.

Ja rules hoarse voice roared through the speakers. Usually, I hated his songs. But today, I made an exception. The melody mixed with Ashanti's heavenly vocal chords; it was a bop.

We laid Mariposa onto the couch as we moved our hips to the beat and poked our fat lips out the way black girls did best. The rhythm stuck to the air and added frizz to our hair. Laughs emitted into the atmosphere as if God had answered a prayer of depression and we finally were happy again.

Until a familiar face appeared, leaning against the yellow bricks on the wall.

I stood still. Peaches smile faded slowly once she realized what I was peering at.

I cut the radio off.

"K-Kylo." I stuttered.

"Don't stop cause of me. Continue."

Peaches cleared her throat, heading towards Mariposa now wide awake on the couch.

"Um, thanks for having us Sanaa. We'll be on our way."

"No." Kylo interrupted. "Stay. Please. Sanaa, we should cook for our guest."

I said nothing. I hadn't seen Kylo since the day he was drunk.

"Shouldn't we?"

"...of course." I grinned. "We should."

_______________

Besides Kylo's strange ass mannerisms, the food was hot and ready on the table.

I had fried and grilled Okra, a personal favorite, mashed potatoes and gravy, corn on the cob, red beans and rice, and a little thing I liked to call fake wings.

It was basically cut and season tofu dipped and lathered in wing sauce. It was healthy, and light on the tummy.

"I hadn't thrown down like this since I was back in Mississippi." I admitted.

"Looks good." Said Kylo. "Let's see if it tastes as good as it looks."

"...weirdo." I said with my back turned.

"What was that?"

"I said Peaches, what would you like to drink?"

"Water is fine." She gleamed, rocking her baby.

Once I'd given Peaches her drink, we all sat at the table awkwardly.

"Aren't we going to say grace?" I offered.

"...I'm hungry so you go ahead."

I had never eaten this intimately with Kylo before so it wasn't necessarily surprising noticing his asshole behavior at the dinner table. But I said my grace anyway. Mama taught me better. From the corner of my eye, I might have saw Peaches say hers too.

"Oh, I love it." Peaches admitted, digging into her potatoes.

"That's wonderful! I'm so glad you like it cause I added that rosemary we got and-"

"It's good but..." Kylo began as he finished chewing. "Lay off on the sauces. Season more. Other than that...it's wonderful, baby."

"Ah." I effused pathetically.

"Don't get offended, now. I'm just saying..."

The more Kylo's maddening voice throttled through the sound waves, the more my body reminded me that I had an illness. My head began to ache severely. I could barely here anything, and the world sounded like a nightmare. The lights above us began stretching out of their bulbs, chasing a plotting against my demise. I was in hell. My own thoughts were out to get me.

"I'm sorry." I interrupted. "My head. It hurts. Very bad."

"You need something?"

"No, I think I just...need to take an early night. I'm sorry y'all."

"...no need to apologize, Sanaa...would you mind sitting down for just a minute longer?" Peaches sweet voice comforted. Her voice made every other noise seem detrimental.

"Yeah, Pea. What's up?"

She looked towards Kylo. Maybe if I didn't have such a detestable headache I would've noticed and maybe I would've taken a note on how it seemed like she was searching for some kind of permission or cue.

"Well, I'm a part of...this group."

"Mmhm," I egged, wishing she would hurry up.

"We meet...down by the water...every other day. It's just a small group of women with born and unborn children. And since you know so much about midwifery...I think you would be much needed and enjoyed during our meetings."

"I think that's a great idea." Kylo interjected. "Down by the water, huh?"

"Yeah...that sounds wonderful Peaches just let me know when, Okay? I love you. I need to get some rest."

And I did so until I heard a knock at the door at 1 o'clock when the lights were out and so was Kylo. Peaches and Mariposa were asleep on the couch.

My head ache seemed to have escaped, thankfully. And the sound of my wind chimes weren't out to kill me anymore.

My eyesight was terrible at night. I saw shadows lurking in every corner. But there was one shadow that took me by surprise. I wasn't sure if it were a ghost or not.

"Elijah?"

He stood. His pale yellow skin kissed up against the street lit sky. His smile curled below his nose.

"Sanaa..."

[inspectorgorgeous]

Put on your party hats people,

it’s officially the shortest, sexiest month of the year.

Just kidding. February is irritating. Here’s why!

The days are getting longer but they refuse to get warmer because the furry rodent who chooses our meteorologic destiny is a masochist.

Getting bombarded with heart shaped Reese’s AND egg shaped Reese’s is like getting punched in the face twice.

Target is ruined. See reason #2.

BUT it’s not alllll bad I guess. I can be an optimist. I can get on the bandwagon. *Read all lines dripping with sarcasm* 

For starters, genetically modified strawberry monstrosities that are perfect for dunking into various dips are RIGHT up my ally. Organic is cool and all but I can’t get past the size of the berries, if you know what I mean….

Other things in which a single lady with workaholic tendencies loves to participate in are Rom-Com movie marathons (solo) and listening to the best jams (LIKE THIS) while drinking straight bourbon.

Or eating it in the form of whipped cream.

From the tub.

With her classy lady fingers.

BUT since you are here for the recipes, let’s get down to it.

  Strawberries, Bourbon Whipped Cream & Brownie Cake Layers

Because loving yourself never tasted so good. Or so bourbon-y.

I honestly don’t know if this bourbon is any good or not but it was a really pretty bottle and I drank most of it while watching Ever After ft Drew Barrymore.

Seemed ok to me.

The “cake” portion isn’t that pivitol in this recipe, therefore I smallecized the photos of the production.

It’s your basic, flourless brownie cake recipe with my thighs in the background.

Laundry day has been postponed and I’ve been reduced to stretchy skirts and swimsuit bottoms. 

Here comes the boozy glamor shots because once I get behind a camera I go a little nuts….

I mean, why aren’t more people doing this?!?!

You just mix the alcohol into the whipped cream…

It’s NEXT LEVEL GNARLY.

Especially when it’s tossed into a situation with berries and chocolates.

Shhhh. I know. 

It’s breathtaking the first time you see it.

Just wait till it’s in your mouth.

I like big berries and I cannot lie.

You won’t even realize you are forking a healthy cake when you are forking this.

It’s that forking good. 

Strawberry Bourbon Whipped Cream Brownie Cake

Recipe Type: desserts

Prep time: 20 mins

Cook time: 20 mins

Total time: 40 mins

Serves: 8 slices

Self love comes in many forms. Sometimes it’s a bath bomb and a good book and other times it’s a double layer brownie and whipped cream bourbon cake. Just follow your heart wherever it may take you.

Ingredients

BROWNIE

6 Eggs

3/4 cup Cocoa Powder

3 tbsp Butter

4 oz Low Carb Chocolate

3/4 cup Granulated Low Carb Sweetener

1/2 tsp Baking Powder

1/2 tsp Salt

12 Jumbo Strawberries, tops removed

Bourbon Whipped Cream

2 cups Whipped Cream (I use TruWhip which is dairy free and no HFC)

1 shot Good Bourbon

Chocolate Drizzle

2 oz Low Carb chocolate, melted

1 tbsp Coconut Oil

Instructions

Heat oven to 350 degrees and grease two 6 in round cake pans.

Beat 6 eggs until frothy.

Combine cocoa powder, sweetener, baking powder and salt. Sift into the egg mixture, stirring until a batter forms.

Melt the chocolate in the microwave by heating for :30 sec intervals, stirring between each. Add the butter, which will melt into the chocolate.

Pour the chocolate mix into the brownie batter and fold in. Divide batter between the two pans and bake for 20 minutes.

While the cakes cool, gently fold the bourbon into the whipped cream and keep it refrigerated until it’s time to garnish.

After the cakes are cool(ish) layer the strawberries and the bourbon whipped cream mixture.

Top with more berries, cream, and drizzled chocolate!

3.5.3226

IF you are wondering about NUTRITION INFO, it’s coming soon. Like, this afternoon-soon.

Strawberries & Bourbon Whipped Cream Brownie Cake Put on your party hats people, it's officially the shortest, sexiest month of the year. Just kidding.