#dragon king fishing game machine

[candyheartedchy]

♡ TAG NAVIGATION ♡

「 GENERAL TAGS 」

☕️ chycore ☕️ - [posts that reminds me of myself]

💬 chy chatter 💬 - [personal posts]

🎨 chy creations 🎨 - [my art]

🖼️ artsit alley 🖼️ - [self ship & oc x canon art from others]

💌 letters 💌 - [asks]

💭 imagines 💭 - [self ship imagines]

📖 sweet stories 📖 - [fanfics from others]

💰 commissions💰 - [commission sheets from others]

💘 lovely dovey 💘 - [romantic posts]

❣️ reminders ❣️ - [positivity posts]

💗 self ship positivity 💗 - [self ship positivity posts]

🎁 gifts 🎁 - [fanart and commissions made for me]

📊 polls 📊 - [voting polls]

「 F/O(S) & SELF SHIP TAGS 」

ULTIMATE MAIN

👻 scratch 👻 / 👔 todd 👔 — ❤️ scratchyenne ❤️

[AUs]

🖤 paranormal romance au 🖤

🖤 mirror au 🖤

🖤 beauty and the beast au 🖤

🖤 magical girl au 🖤

🖤 ghostbusters au 🖤

🖤 frosty the snowman au 🖤

🖤 fisherman au 🖤 (Kinda old, but might bring it back!)

MAINS

🧽 spo.ngebob 🧽 — ❤️ coralbob ❤️

[AUs]

🖤 mirror au 🖤

🖤 pest of the west au 🖤

🖤 dunces and dragons au 🖤

🖤 kamp koral au 🖤

🥕 bugs 🥕 — ❤️ of course you realize this means love ❤️

[AUs]

🖤 duck dodgers au 🖤

🖤 carrotblanca au 🖤

SECONDARIES

👽 zim 👽 — ❤️ invasion of love ❤️

🕹️ danger planet 🕹️ — ❤️ love machine ❤️

🏀 wilt 🏀 — ❤️ dream team ❤️

📚 brainy 📚 — ❤️ brainybeth ❤️

🦐 fethry 🦐 — ❤️ fethryenne ❤️

🦣 gazpacho 🦣 — ❤️ coffee fruit ❤️

🟢 baby ball 🟢 — ❤️ game of love ❤️

TERTIARIES

🌟 mickey 🌟 — ❤️ i’m all ears for you ❤️

🎩 frankie 🎩 (Other Frankie) & (Cartoon Frankie) — ❤️ sprung into my heart ❤️

📺 yes man 📺 — ❤️ wasteland romance ❤️

🧢 bloofy 🧢 — ❤️ dizzy with love ❤️

⚡️ hater ⚡️ — ❤️ pink lightening ❤️

⚠️ bill ⚠️ - WIP

🧞‍♂️ norm 🧞‍♂️ — ❤️ i wish you love ❤️

🐶 dog 🐶 — ❤️ i woof you ❤️

🐠 minion 🐠 — ❤️ hugs and fishes ❤️

CRUSHES

✨ orko ✨

🌌 gatekeeper 🌌

🪶 papa g 🪶

💖 koosy 💖 — ❤️ hearts aglow ❤️

🐜 flik 🐜 — ❤️ love bug ❤️

🚪 mike 🚪

🚀 xr 🚀

💙 sans 💙 — ❤️ bonely for you ❤️

🍬 king candy 🍬

🔎 inspekta 🔎

SEASONAL

❄️ jack ❄️ - WIP

[magpiejay1234]

https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/gba/915450-yu-gi-oh-the-sacred-cards/faqs/27496

And here’s Aqua(Water) Alignment. This one is the same as the WATER Attribute in the modern OCG, so there’s not much of a change.

Aqua Reptile:

Armored Lizard

Krokodilus

Grappler

Serpent Marauder

Toon Alligator

Emperor of the Land and Sea

Sinister Serpent

Mechaleon

Yormungarde

Drooling Lizard

Beaked Snake

Ancient Lizard Warrior

Aqua Fish:

Great White

Rare Fish

Root Water

Deepsea Shark

Bottom Dweller

7 Colored Fish

Turu-Purun

Rainbow Marine Mermaid

Crazy Fish

Misairuzame

Tongyo

Wow Warrior

Man-Eating Black Shark

Marine Beast

Amazon of the Seas

Amphibian Beast

Aqua Aqua:

Fiend Kraken

Jellyfish

Catapult Turtle

Octoberser

Toad Master

Akihiron

Monsturtle

Turtle Tiger

Arma Knight

Dorover

Roaring Ocean Snake

Hitodenchak

Water Element

Water Omotics

Enchanting Mermaid

The Furious Sea King

Wetha

Change Slime

Psychic Kappa

Flying Penguin

Suijin

Zone Eater

Ooguchi

Water Magician

Ice Water

Waterdragon Fairy

Water Girl

White Dolphin

Guardian of the Sea

Aqua Snake

Giant Red Seasnake

30-000-Year White Turtle

Kappa Avenger

Kanikabuto

Zarigun

Sea Kamen

Ameba

Yado Karu

Star Boy

Toad Slime (Listed as Frog the Jam)

Behegon

Giant Turtle Who Feeds on Flames

Violent Rain

Penguin Soldier

Liquid Soldier

Twin Long Rods #2

Armored Starfish

High Tide Gyojin

Fairy of the Fountain

Night Lizard

Amphibious Bugroth

Gruesome Goo

Hyosube

Red Archery Girl

Humanoid Slime

Humanoid Worm Drake

Revival Jam

Sea Snake (video game-only card, originates from manga, listed as Aqua Serpent)

Boneheimer

Aqua Sea Dragon:

Kairyu-Shin

Takriminos

Aqua Dragon

Sea King Dragon

Aqua Warrior:

Rhaimundos of the Red Sword

Doron

Hyo

The Little Swordsman of Aile

Armed Ninja

Deepsea Warrior

The Legendary Fisherman

Aqua Magician:

Aqua Madoor

Aqua Beast:

Tatsunootoshigo

Aqua Machine:

Metal Fish

Mech Bass

Aqua Beast-Warrior:

Mother Grizzly

****

It seems more Reptiles were intended to be Water Alignment than what ended up in the modern OCG.

I think Armed Ninja is here because its Japanese name means Blue Ninja.

[captainpetebradshaw]

Movie Diary 2021

Apparently I never got around to posting this last year so belatedly here are the movies I watched for the first time in 2021. My faves are bolded :)

1 Wolfwalkers

2 Wonder Woman 1984

3 Another Round

4 Soul

5 Promising Young Woman

6 Da 5 Bloods

7 Minari

8 Jaws

9 To All The Boys: Always and Forever

10 Derek DelGaudio’s In & of Itself

11 Space Sweepers

12 Spies in Disguise

13 Josee, the Tiger and the Fish (2003)

14 One Night in Miami...

15 Deliver Us from Evil (2020)

16 Michael Clayton

17 Raya and the Last Dragon

18 Coming 2 America

19 Made You Look: A True Story About Fake Art

20 The Personal History of David Copperfield

21 Demolition Man

22 Wall Street

23 Nomadland

24 Mank

25 Better Days

26 Judas and the Black Messiah

27 Ma Rainey’s Black Bottom

28 The Father

29 A Shaun the Sheep Movie: Farmageddon

30 Borat Subsequent Moviefilm

31 Quo vadis, Aida?

32 Hillbilly Elegy

33 The United States vs. Billie Holiday

34 News of the World

35 The Man Who Sold His Skin

36 Pieces of a Woman

37 Collective

38 The White Tiger

39 Love and Monsters

40 Greyhound

41 Time

42 Crip Camp: A Disability Revolution

43 My Octopus Teacher

44 The Mole Agent

45 Saint Maud

46 The Mitchells vs. The Machines

47 Stowaway

48 Daughters

49 Mortal Kombat

50 Army of the Dead

51 Nine to Five

52 Dance of the Forty One

53 Ammonite

54 Bo Burnham: Inside

55 The Last King

56 Bungee Jumping of Their Own

57 Kajillionaire

58 XXY

60 Perfect Blue

61 Supernova

62 Wish Dragon

63 Emmanuelle: Queen of French Erotic Cinema

64 Luca

65 A Quiet Place II

66 Black Widow

67 Gunpowder Milkshake

68 Freddie Mercury: The Untold Story

69 The Magic Vocies of Pop

70 Jungle Cruise

71 Flight of the Navigator

72 The Suicide Squad

73 Shall We Dance? (1996)

74 Space Jame

75 The Legend of Hei

76 Space Jam: A New Legacy

77 The Green Knight

78 Hitman’s Wife’s Bodyguar

79 Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings

80 Tove

81 Pokémon: The Rise of Darkrai

82 A League of Their Own

83 Kate

84 Dune

85 Escape Room: Tournament of Champions

86 Pig

87 Free Guy

88 Best Sellers

89 Yes, God, Yes

90 I Am Divine

91 Nightbooks

92 Annette

93 The Lost Boys

94 The Love Witch

95 The Medium

96 Gerald’s Game

97 Venom: Let There Be Carnage

98 Lamb

99 Z-O-M-B-I-E-S

100 The Trip (I onde dager)

101 Eternals

102 Red Notice

103 The Devil Wears Ju-Ni Hitoe Kimono

104 Josephine Baker: The Story of an Awakening

105 Army of Thieves

106 Jiang Ziya: Legend of Deification

107 The Eyes of Tammy Faye

108 Last NIght in Soho

109 The Rescue

110 Spider-Man: No Way Home

111 Contact

[live22th]

Live22

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[hominggames-blog]

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[talesofsonicasura]

DSB Sun Wukong with a Duelist s/o

Originally the duelist s/o was for MKR Sun Wukong but it didn't feel right in my opinion. This however does. This particular Sun Wukong is much closer to what he is originally described in the original Journey To The West and his temperament before the journey, a fierce Demon Warlord.

Well, Yaoguai is the correct term to refer to them in JTTW/JTTW related media. Yaoguai being monster like entities or demoted gods. Also the usage of demons in Chinese Mythology is more set on pure evil in terms. I'll be updating my headcanons and fics with the correct terminology.

Anywho, let's get this started. This is a slow burn and can be read gender neutral or preferred gender. You don't need to know about Yu-Gi-Oh as I'll be filling in the gaps. Also this is going to be slightly different from my usual ones.

You can never understand how you end up in the strangest of places much less what had to be Ancient China.

One second you were driving your Duel Runner on a forest dirt path and the next you end up getting chased by monstrous wolves with said motorcycle. Normal wolves don't have spikes on their body nor multiple eyes.

Any normal person would drive away as fast as they can. You weren't exactly that kind of person cause one, these things were bloody fast and catching up. And two, you were a psychic duelist with the power to bring your Duel Monster cards to life.

Something you did as you summoned one of your favorite monsters to deal with the ugly mutts, Junk Warrior.

Now in Duel Monster game terms, you couldn't summon a monster like this without the correct setup. Your bike was designed to circumvent this rule involving your power with enough speed instead of the usual price being a nasty migraine.

Which is why you lost some speed so your blue armored warrior could keep the beasts from munching on your body as you focused on navigating through the trees.

Apparently you weren't the only one here, much less being attacked. Why? Cause upon using a fallen log as a makeshift ramp, you practically leapt into a camp swamped with these beasties.

The defenders being a man wearing traditional face paint makeup, a monk, a blue fish man... and... Sun Wukong. Holy shit. You were in the Journey To The West cause there was no mistaking that golden headband on the brunette with a rat nest for hair.

Oh and apparently you were about to crash into him because of your gawking moment. You quickly went for a u-turn as a stone monkey would definitely wreck your ride.

Thankfully the monkey noticed the incoming duel runner and jumped. Unthankfully, he hitched a ride on your shoulders.

Sun Wukong's form shifted to become more monkey like as he now had golden fur plus a monkey tail. Still kept the human face though.

"Interesting contraption."/"Less talking, you nutter! Better hold on cause I'm taking this into overdrive!"

Meant that too upon hitting the gas to go even faster. The extra speed was needed cause you were about to break the rule once again by summoning the red and white humanoid machine, Accel Synchron.

It was time to send these unnatural mutts to the infernal pound as you had enough with the insanity today. This time with style as your monsters dissolved into 10 stars within a row of green rings. Then you chant.

"Accel Synchron! Give Junk Warrior a tune up! As hope fades in the jaws of darkness, an otherworldly machine grants power to the fighter of discarded treasure! Let the stars bless this noble warrior with power beyond measure! Take to the skies and break the hopeless barrier! I Synchro Summon Stardust Warrior!"

Everything around the Monkey King and you froze in absolute shock as a draconic warrior in white dragon like armor emerged from the rings, Stardust Warrior.

Your monster had the power to eliminate all opponents in a meteor storm of stardust by sacrificing itself. 'Shimmering Stardust Buster Sanctuary' you called upon triggering the effect.

Tripitaka, Sha Wujing and must be Zhu Bajie quickly scattered as the meteors fell, rightfully pulverizing the monster hounds. Your monster dissipating into stardust with the job done.

The Monkey King definitely had the balance of his species cause even when you harshly skidded to a stop, he hadn't moved an inch. In fact, he was laughing. Uh oh.

"Quite a spectacular show with some intriguing word play! You're the most interesting mortal I ever met!" Oh no no no.

Before ya knew it, you were in the arms of Sun Wukong. The glamour now gone as a four foot monkey with glowing amber eyes looked gleefully at his master. Oh hell no.

"Can we *I* take them with us *me*?" Shit. You got the complete curiosity of the Monkey King. And from the way he phrased his words, this had to be him at the beginning of his journey.

Only your luck would land you in the hands of a Yaoguai Warlord at the start of his quest towards redemption. Might as well reside yourself to your fate.

You had enough of being chased for a day. Getting chased by the Great Sage Equal To Heaven isn't something that needs to be added to the list.

This is a Sun Wukong that will chase anyone that can peak his interest as much as the MKR iteration. Since there isn't a White Dragon Horse in this rendition of JTTW, you'll be filling the role with the Stardust deck! Basically a deck heavily associated with a particular dragon that'll be popping up soon. I wanted to try a more action feel for this one.

Synchro Summon requires a unique monster called a Tuner to gain access to the monsters that appeared in this headcanon, Synchro Monsters. Accel Synchron is a unique Synchro Monster since it also counts as a Tuner.

The Stephen Chow movies done an interesting take to the novel and its characters, despite the awkward pacing and plot of Demons Strike Back. I recommend checking it out. Conquer the Demons can be watched free on YouTube if they haven't taken it off yet.

Until next time folks, I'll see you on the road westward. Here's Junk Warrior, Accel Synchron and Stardust Warrior!

[inspector-montoya-fox]

Ok my internet friends and enemies, it’s time to rank the villains’ motives for being villains. To no one’s surprise, I won’t be including Le Paradox because he’d automatically take the number 1 spot, I thought it’d be unfair to the other entries. Nothing trumps some classic nonsensicality, y’know. So let’s take a look:

12. Boredom - Sir Raleigh

At the bottom of my list is boredom. Because we all feel it and those long afternoons of having nothing to do most definitely warrant you to go out, engineer a giant whale machine for whatever the fuck, and become a modern day pirate basically. Raleigh 100% earns sympathy points. The froggy privilege here is so yuck, I can’t even explain. As if he wasn’t already rich like... trash. Garbage.

11. Pollution & Testosterone - Jean Bison

This guy went for a hike, got crashed by an avalanche, and woke up decades later to hold a grudge against nature for being frozen? You do understand that the ice literally saved your life, right? I mean, good for him for still staying motivated after so many years of being an icicle but chopping down trees? It’s a big no no. I love how bison are actually herbivores, so the idiot is literally just throwing out food.

10. Incel-ism - General Tsao & LeFwee

This entry making it into the top 10 by no means makes it valid. The lengths these two are willing to go just to get the girl is honestly frighteningly accurate. Tsao literally unearths a dragon, vampires, and ghosts in order to protect his forced marriage. And not once does he compliment Jing King in the process, like he probably doesn’t even like her ??? Instead of self-reflecting, perhaps going to therapy, these two prefer to lead a life of crime. Also, the fact that Tsao, who can’t get a woman to fall in love with him, is a huge cock. This shit writes itself, seriously.

9. Being Old ??? idk - Don Octavio

This is the last insanely bad one on the list but holy shit does this one make little to zero sense. Look, I’ve felt old at times. It’s not really nice when you talk about growing up watching Jungle Book on VHS and someone asks what VHS is. I’m 22 bitch not 982 look it up. Did people not knowing what VHS is make me want to blow up half of Venice and pollute its waters? It did not. What did the poor helpless fish do to you? Like why ???? There are people who still enjoy opera like I’m pretty sure Don Octavio didn’t even look for a new audience/ target demographic after the initial ticket sale drop. First not outsold gig and this bitch went to the Italian mafia to look for help.

8. Financial Gain - Dimitri

Crime for money is so zzz snooze fest, late 90s/ early 00s Powerpuff Girls villain, The Dark Knight opening scene but not really because that wasn’t really the point of it... that being said, it’s not lower on the list because I often think of what I’d do if I lived a life of wealth and luxury. Crime as a source of income is not fully respectable but not an abysmal motive like boredom for example. And I fully understand how Dimitri’s occupation as an artist could lead to him being in need for money - it’s tough as many of y’all already know. On the other hand, minus points for potentially causing inflation with his counterfeit operation.

7. Childhood Trauma + Rejection - Muggshot, Mz Ruby & Panda King

Boy do I feel for them. Probably the most relatable entry on the list because everyone has experienced this in one way or another. It’s not their fault society spat in their faces. The first game was out there trying to make a point about bullying’s long term effects with 3/5 of its villains displaying so. Does it justify their crimes? No. But lowkey good for them, I hope they’re thriving in prison.

6. Immortality - Neyla

Getting down to the big ones now. I’m happy SP scrapped their initial plan of making Neyla Rajan’s daughter because that might have made her a bit more humane or explained her motivations a bit better. But as it is, she’s batshit crazy. She loves no one, that’s why she doesn’t care about being immortal and witnessing everyone die around her. Her motive fits in with her plan so well, it’s so simple and yet so effective. The reason it’s not higher on the list is because immortality has been done so many times before and there was no new spin or anything. Her plan and her character are top-notch examples of writing, but, as much as I adore her being trigger-happy and un’inged with no villain origins or explanation, I would still like some sort of hint to it. She’s like the Joker of the series, an absolute enigma.

5. In Search for a (New) Body - Arpeggio & The Mask of Dark Earth

Is it stupid to think that we’ve all experienced some dissatisfaction with our appearance in the past? Even a single instance of any form of body dysmorphia? Maybe it’s a bit exaggerated of a claim but even so, I do feel for these two. Muggshot, Mz Ruby and Panda King experienced bullying because of stuff that was different but could change, like their interests and fitness. But body type and size isn’t adaptable like that. I do think Arpeggio took it to a bit of an extreme but that just shows the hurt he has over being smaller than the average bird. It’s sad how he was unable to embrace the permanence of his size, like he could be the Danny Devito of the series but eh whatever.

4. Misogyny - Penelope

Do I even need to explain this one? Girlboss. What a legend.

3. Something Too Complicated for Us Simple-Minded Fools - Rajan & The Contessa

I’ve tried to wrap my head around the motive for these two and I have failed. Rajan was initially in the financial gain entry but then I thought, he’s already rich? Same goes for the Contessa, who steals her prisoners’ hidden loot but is already a wealthy widow? The way these two carry themselves, what they say and the way they say it, as well as their crimes, just indicates that they think they have a higher purpose. And maybe they do, like maybe furry God spoke to them and told them they were meant for more. Sure, they were both underlings for Arpeggio, and in the end Neyla, but their side-hustles are so bizarre. I’m referring to Rajan’s reason for having the Clockwerk heart on his staff and the Contessa’s psychoanalysis of Sly. I’m like ????

2. Good Ol’ Revenge - Dr M

I know I said Neyla’s was overdone and it doesn’t get more overdone than revenge, but this one nabs the second spot because it initially starts as ‘Dr M is so evil he’s trying to open the Cooper Vault !!’ and then the way Dr Martin explains it makes us think he was actually the victim. And of course he was the victim. He was playing second fiddle to Connor and in the end got nothing. We practically know nothing about Sly’s dad but I choose to believe that he was the absolute worst, and that more than justifies Dr Milo’s motive. And I’m in love with stories that portray the protégé being blindly naive until they realise they’re fighting for an invalid cause. Except this never happens and Dr Mustafa dies, and I felt really bad for him like he and Sly should’ve negotiated something along the lines of splitting the Cooper Vault’s loot ?? He deserved better for sure because, unlike Muggshot, Mz Ruby and Panda King, he didn’t stray away from his path of revenge. He was solely interested in cracking open the vault like no world domination, no nothing (apart from maybe fusing innocent civilians together to make monsters).

1. Pure Hatred - Clockwerk

It doesn’t get any more evil than this. Clockwerk is the perfect balance between Neyla and Dr Matthew’s motives because it’s so ambiguous but we also receive little clues along the way. Frankly, we don’t know what kicked off the feud between him and the Coopers, but we know it’s spanned for centuries and his dialogue hints that it’s something more personal than just ‘i wanna kill an entire lineage of raccoons’. It’s up for interpretation but it makes him such an excellent villain. Like it’s pure hate, it’s uncontrollable and it’s such a big grudge that it’s been eternal. There’s no other crimes like illegal spice distribution or financial gain. He’s solely focused on destroying Sly and he’s assembled a team for it, he’s stolen the Thievius Raccoonus, and he’s built the most evil lair there is. Number 1 undoubtedly.

[doshi-sukiru]

Happy Pride!

Happy Pride day everyone!! In honor of such a great month, I am taking asks for any character of your choice with your flag (or any flag you want) with them! In case you want me to draw a character that isn’t Dragon ball or Ranma 1/2, that’s fine. You can choose a character from this list of fandoms that I follow if you want a different character: 

Dragon Ball

Ranma 1/2 

Tokyo Revengers

Hunter x Hunter

Backflip!!

Genshin Impact

Sk8 the Infinity

K-On!

Inuyasha 

Dororo

Banana Fish 

Death Note

BNA: Brand New Animal

Kuroko no Basketball

Millionaire Detective

Sanrio Boys

Cuphead

Please Take My Brother Away

Poppy Playtime

Tomodachi Game

Given

Jujutsu Kaisen

SPY X FAMILY

Bendy and the Ink Machine

Fnaf series

Ranking of Kings

Studio Ghibli

Doki Doki Literature

Undertale/ Deltarune

Gravity Falls

Creepypasta

Examples of some images. You can also ask if you want the image to look differently than these ones: 

The characters above are Vegeta, Goku, Ryoga, and Ranma (you can ask for those characters again if you want I don’t mind) 

This is only for this month so ask away! I don’t mind! It may bleed into July depending on how many asks I get. Enjoy this month everyone! 

[multiversius]

Kaiju Tournament

So, let us introduce our competitors!

The King of the Monsters: Godzilla

The First Enemy Space Monster: Bemular

The Queen of the Monsters: Mothra

The Prince of the Monsters: Gomora

The Venomous Spider Monster: Kumonga

The Armored Ravager: Anguirus

The Ultimate Destroyer: Mechagodzilla

The Fire Demon: Rodan

The Guardian Of The Universe: Gamera

The Transcendent Space Dinosaur: Zetton

The Evil God Ryuseicho: Iris

The Super Flying Dragon: Megaguirus

The Symbiotic Queen: Legion

The Supersonic Genetic Monster: Hyper-Gyaos

The Composite Space Monster: Orga

The Anti-G Superweapon: Supermechagodzilla

The Skull Monster: Red King

The Cyborg Monster Zero: Mecha-King Ghidorah

The Destroyer of All Living Beings: Destoroyah

The Bodyguard Monster: Black King

The Giant Evil Monster: Guiron

The Twin-Headed Monster: Pandon

The Super-Mobile Combining Weapon: MOGUERA

The Chilling Monster: Barugon

The Demon Sea Monster: Dagahra

The Aquatic Freezing Monster: Lagoras

The Super Combined Monster: Super Grand-King

The Space Pedanium Robot: King Joe

The Guardian of the Seatopians: Megalon

The Civil Judgementer: Galactron

The Earth's Conquering Weapon: Mechagodzilla 2

The Cybernetic Terror: Gigan

The Empire Machine Soldier: Legionoid

The Super Space Monster: Monster X

The Subterranean Fierce King: Baragon

The Inferno-Demon Monster: Fire Golza

The Guardian Beast: Mothra Leo

The Unparalleled Iron God: Inpelaizer

The Space Dicharge Monster: Eleking

The Combat Creature from Space: Spacegodzilla

The Destructive Monster: Mons-Ahgar

The Regeneration Monster: Saramandora

The Dark Subterranean Monster: Telesdon

The Growing Creature: Zedus

The Horror of The Deep: Ebirah

The Dual Blade Mantis Monster: Kamacuras

The Electronic Robot: Jet Jaguar

The King Of Skull Island: King Kong

The Living Extiction Machine Monster: King Ghidorah

The Space Vampire Monster: Gymaira

The Ancient Parasite Queen: Muto 3 (Barb)

The Frozen Titan: Scylla

The Life Creating Monster: Behemoth

The Continent Monster: Methuselah

The Guardian of Okinawa: King Caesar

The Missile Terrible Monster: Verokron

The Moth Terrible Monster: Doragory

The Single-Horned Terrible Monster: Vakishim

The Hitman Terrible Monster: Baraba

The Giant Ant Terrible Monster: Aribunta

The Full Moon Terrible Monster: Lunaticks

The Poisonous Demon Beast: Jiger

The X from Outer Space: Guilala

The Deep Sea Space Monster: Zigra

The Space Divided Monster: Viras

The Magnetic Ancient Monster: Antlar

The Combat Beast of Destruction: Battra

The Despot Monster from the Vengeful Undead Monsters: Tyrant

The Ultra-Ancient Dragon: Melba

The Super Space Combat Beast: Super C.O.V

The Comet Monster: Dorako

The Hatred Fish Monster: Zoa Muruchi

The Super Synthetic Monster: Neo Darambia

The Absorber Space Monster: Bemstar

The Planet Eater Mega Lord Monster: Maga-Orochi

The Multipurpose Fight System Type-3: Kiryu

The Giant Sea Dragon Monster: Manda

The Invisible Monster: Neronga

The Legendary Monster: Yonggary

The TDG Combined Monster: Five King

The Bio-Beast: Biollante

The Subterranean Predator: Gudon

The Super Space Demon Beast: Desghidorah

The Cosmos Eater: Leugocyte

The Ultimate Terrible Monster: U-Killersaurus

The Freezerburn Space Sea Monster: Reicubas

The One-Eye Strange Creature: Gan-Q

The Huge Sea Turtle: Kamoebas

The Subterranean Ferocious Monster: Pagos

The Transformation Monster: Gazort

The Amphibious Dinosaur: Titanosaurus

The Wild Fierce Monster: Horoboros

The Molten Iron Monster: Demaaga

The Petrification Evil Monster: Gargorgon

The Ferocious Space Shark: Genegarg

The Destructive Fierce Dragon: Deathdrago

The Winged Membrane Dragon: Varan

The Primeval Fierce Dragon: Gorosaurus

The Ultimate Disaster Monster: Hellberus

The Dark Lord of the Monsters: Bagan

You can Choose 2-5 Monsters to fight the Others

Do NOT take only too much OP Monster, make a BALANCED TEAM not to make the others mad

May The Games Start

[chirons-mortar]

Saligia: Demons

These are drawings of various demons for a Game of Thrones-ish setting that I would sometimes post on my old blog. Basically there were 7 kingdoms based on the 7 deadly sins who worshipped various patron deities, and these demons were their servants (though I guess they would technically be angels within the setting).

Lustlings: Servants of Asmodeus, patron god of Luxuria and god of fertility and travel. They are small slime like beings who can aggregate together to take on greater forms. They are shapeshifters who take on whatever forms pleases them most. They are tasked by their god to spread trickery and mischief among mortals, and thus are the most jovial of the 7 demons.

Gluttonlings: Servants of Beelzebub, patron god of Gula and god of nature and the harvest. They are bloated maggots tasked by their god to collect his bounty in food. They gorge themselves until they become too bloated to move, at which point flies emerge from their bodies to continue the task. When their god returns they will be consumed as morsels to sate his eternal hunger.

Greedlings: Servants of Mammon, patron god of Avaritia and god of the earth and wealth. They are tasked with guarding his earthly treasures, but are born as naked and vulnerable birds. To protect themselves they coat their bodies in their patrons treasures, eventually growing into dragons. However, when their god returns they will have their scales stripped and be vulnerable once more.

Slothlings: Servants of Belphegor, patron god of Acedia and god of order and wisdom. They are hand crafted machines tasked by their god to maintain his celestial bureaucracy in his stead. However, due to their god's neglect, they have slowly degraded without his maintenance. Many are decrepit machines slowly falling apart, but continue their task anyway.

Wrathlings: Servants of Satan, patron god of Ira and god of chaos and war. They are wounded beings in constant pain as they must take their god's constant abuse. They come to the mortal plane to collect their gods tribute in blood, but also to spread the misery they suffer on mortals.

Envylings: Servants of Leviathan, patron god of Invidia and god of the sea and death. They are parasitic fish like creatures tasked by their god to claim all treasures of the deep, as he is cursed by the other six to remain below the ocean waves. They collect the remnants of sunken wrecks to add to their god's locker, but also drag the souls of the drowned into the abyss.

Pridelings: Servants of Lucifer, patron god of Superbia, he is king of the other six and god of the heavens. They are the most angelic looking, and tasked by their god to sing his praises for all eternity and spread his worship among mortals.

[no-uzer]

1 INT. CASTLE INTERIOR

There is a bed onstage behind a silky curtain, backlit.

PRINCE CHARMING (OS)

Once upon a time in a kingdom far,

far away, the king and queen were

blessed with a beautiful baby girl.

And throughout the land, everyone

was happy... until the sun went down

and they saw that their daughter was

cursed with a frightful enchantment

that took hold each and every night.

Desperate, they sought the help of a

fairy godmother who had them lock

the young princess away in a tower,

there to await the kiss... of the

handsome Prince Charming.

(enters gallantly onstage)

It was he who would chance the

perilous journey through blistering

cold and scorching desert traveling

for many days and nights, risking

life and limb to reach the Dragon's

keep. For he was the bravest, and

most handsome... in all the land.

(looks at the audience)

And it was destiny that his kiss

would break the dreaded curse. He

alone would climb to the highest

room of the tallest tower to enter

the princess's chambers, cross the

room to her sleeping silhouette,

pull back the gossamer curtains to

find her...

(pulls back the curtain to

reveal WOLF in the bed.

Gasps)

WOLF What?

CHARMING

Princess... Fiona?

WOLF No!

CHARMING

(relieved)

Thank heavens. Where is she?

1

1.

WOLF

She's on her honeymoon.

CHARMING

Honeymoon? With whom?

2 EXT. THE SWAMP

SHREK

It's so good to be home! Just you

and me and...

DONKEY

(offstage)

One is the loneliest number that you

ever do...

(enters)

Two can be as bad as one...

SHREK

Donkey?

DONKEY

Shrek! Fiona! Aren't you two a sight

for sore eyes! Give us a hug, Shrek,

you old love machine. And look at

you, Mrs. Shrek. How 'bout a side of

sugar for the steed?

SHREK

Donkey, what are you doing here?

DONKEY

Taking care of your love nest for

you.

SHREK

Oh, you mean like... sorting the

mail and watering the plants?

DONKEY

Yeah, and feeding the fish!

SHREK

I don't have any fish.

DONKEY

You did.

(looks around for the

fish)

SHREK

2

2.

Look at the time. I guess you'd

better be going.

DONKEY

Don't you want to tell me about your

trip? Or how about a game of

Parcheesi?

FIONA

Actually, Donkey? Shouldn't you be

getting home to Dragon?

DONKEY

Oh, yeah, that. I don't know. She's

been all moody and stuff lately. I

thought I'd move in with you.

FIONA

You know we're always happy to see

you, Donkey.

SHREK

But Fiona and I are married now. We

need a little time, you know, to be

together. Just with each other.

Alone.

DONKEY

Say no more. You don't have to worry

about a thing. I will always be here

to make sure nobody bothers you.

SHREK

Donkey!

DONKEY

Yes, roomie?

SHREK

You're bothering me.

DONKEY

Oh, OK. All right, cool. I guess...

Me and Pinocchio was going to catch

a tournament, anyway, so...Maybe

I'll see y'all Sunday for a barbecue

or something.

SHREK

He'll be fine. Now, where were we?

(giggles)

Oh.I think I remember. Donkey!

DONKEY

3.

I know, I know! Alone! I'm going!

I'm going. What do you want me to

tell these other guys?

ROYAL MESSENGER enters to fanfare.

MESSENGER

(clears throat)

"Dearest Princess Fiona. You are

hereby summoned to the Kingdom of

Far, Far Away for a royal ball in

celebration of your marriage at

which time the King will bestow his

royal blessing... upon you and

your...uh... Prince Charming. Love,

the King and Queen of Far, Far Away.

aka Mom and Dad."

FIONA

Mom and Dad?

SHREK

Prince Charming?

DONKEY

Royal ball? Can I come?

SHREK

We're not going.

What?

FIONA & DONKEY

SHREK

I mean, don't you think they might

be a bit...shocked to see you like

this?

FIONA

Well, they might be a bit surprised.

But they're my parents, Shrek. They

love me. And don't worry. They'll

love you, too.

SHREK

Yeah, right. Somehow I don't think

I'll be welcome at the country club.

FIONA

Stop it. They're not like that.

SHREK

How do you explain Sergeant Pompous

and the Fancy Pants Club Band?

4.

FIONA

Oh, come on! You could at least give

them a chance.

SHREK

To do what? Sharpen their

pitchforks?

FIONA

No! They just want to give you their

blessing.

SHREK

Oh, great. Now I need their

blessing?

FIONA

If you want to be a part of this

family, yes!

SHREK

Who says I want to be part of this

family?

FIONA

You did! When you married me!

SHREK

Well, there's some fine print for

you!

So that's it. You won't come?

SHREK

Trust me. It's a bad idea. We are

not going! And that's final!

ALL exit.

3 EXT. SHREK SWAMP

SHREK, DONKEY and FIONA re-enter with GINGY and PINOCHIO.

SHREK is carrying luggage.

GINGY

(walking by and picking up

the ‘warning, Ogres sign’)

Don't worry! We'll take care of

everything.

FIONA

(exasperated sigh)

5.

3

PINOCHIO

Hey, wait for me.

DONKEY

Hit it! Move 'em on! Head 'em up!

Head 'em up, move 'em on! Head 'em

up! Move ‘em on, Rawhide! Knock 'em

out! Pound 'em dead! Make 'em tea!

Buy 'em drinks! Meet their mamas!

Milk 'em hard! Rawhide! Yeehaw!

SHREK, FIONA and DONKEY pass back and forth on the stage

every time the E/E (Enter/exit symbol appears)

DONKEY

Are we there yet?

SHREK No.

DONKEY

Are we there yet?

FIONA

Not yet.

DONKEY

OK, are we there yet?

SHREK No.

DONKEY

Are we there yet?

FIONA No!

DONKEY

Are we there yet?

SHREK Yes.

DONKEY

Really?

SHREK No!

DONKEY

Are we there yet?

SHREK & FIONA

6.

No!

DONKEY

Are we there yet?

SHREK

(mimics)

Are we there yet?

DONKEY

That's not funny. That's really

immature.

SHREK

That's not funny. That's really

immature.

DONKEY

This is why nobody likes ogres.

SHREK

This is why nobody likes ogres.

DONKEY

Your loss!

SHREK

Your loss!

DONKEY

I'm gonna just stop talking.

SHREK

Finally!

DONKEY

This is taking forever, Shrek.

There's no in-flight movie or

nothing!

SHREK

The Kingdom of Far, Far Away,

Donkey. That's where we're going.

Far, far --

(softly)

away!

DONKEY

All right, all right, I get it. I'm

just so darn bored.

SHREK

(groans)

Are we there yet?

7.

FIONA

(chuckles)

Yes!

DONKEY

Oh, finally!

ALL exit.

4 EXT. FAR FAR AWAY - CASTLE ENTRANCE

MESSENGER

Announcing the long-awaited return

of the beautiful Princess Fiona and

her new husband.

SHREK and FIONA enter off-stage left.

KING and QUEEN enter off-stage right.

FIONA

Well, this is it.

KING

This is it.

MESSENGER

This is it.

(exits)

SHREK

(chuckles)

So...you still think this was a good

idea?

FIONA

Of course! Look. Mom and Dad look

happy to see us.

KING

Who on earth are they?

QUEEN

I think that's our little girl.

KING

That's not little! That's a really

big problem. Wasn't she supposed to

kiss Prince Charming and break the

spell?

QUEEN

4

8.

Well, he's no Prince Charming, but

they do look...

SHREK

Happy now? We came. We saw them. Now

let's go before they light the

torches.

FIONA

They're my parents.

SHREK

Hello? They locked you in a tower.

FIONA

That was for my own...

KING

Good! Here's our chance. Let's go

back inside and pretend we're not

home.

QUEEN

Harold, we have to be...

SHREK

Quick! While they're not looking we

can make a run for it.

FIONA

Shrek, stop it! Everything's gonna

be...

KING

A disaster! There is no way...

FIONA

You can do this.

Both parties begin moving toward eachother

SHREK

I really...

KING

Really...

QUEEN

don't...

SHREK

want...

FIONA

9.

to...

KING be...

SHREK Here!

FIONA

Mom... Dad...I'd like you to meet my

husband... Shrek.

SHREK

Well, um...It's easy to see where

Fiona gets her good looks from.

(chuckles nervously)

5 DONKEY ENTERS SHAKING OFF A GUARD

DONKEY

(off-stage)

What do you mean, "not on the list"?

Don't tell me you don't know who I

am.

(enters)

What's happening, everybody? Thanks

for waiting. I had the hardest time

getting into this place.

KING

No! No! Bad donkey! Bad! Go!

FIONA

No, Dad! It's all right. It's all

right. He's with us. He helped

rescue me from the dragon.

DONKEY

That's me: the noble steed.

SHREK

Oh, boy.

QUEEN

So, Fiona, tell us about where you

live.

FIONA

Well...Shrek owns his own land.

Don't you, honey?

SHREK

5

10.

Oh, yes! It's in an enchanted forest

abundant in squirrels and cute

little duckies and...

DONKEY

(laughing)

What? I know you ain't talking about

the swamp.

KING

An ogre from a swamp. Oh! How

original.

QUEEN

I suppose that would be a fine place

to raise the children.

6 SHREK AND KING COUGH INVOLUNTARILY

SHREK

It's a bit early to be thinking

about that, isn't it?

KING Indeed.

QUEEN

Harold!

SHREK

What's that supposed to mean?

FIONA

Dad. It's great, OK?

KING

For his type, yes.

SHREK

My type?

KING

I suppose any grandchildren I could

expect from you would be...

SHREK

Ogres, yes!

QUEEN

Not that there's anything wrong with

that. Right, Harold?

KING

6

11.

Oh, no! No! Of course, not! That is,

assuming you don't eat your own

young!

FIONA Dad!

SHREK

No, we usually prefer the ones

who've been locked away in a tower!

FIONA

Shrek, please!

KING

I only did that because I love her.

SHREK

Aye, day care or dragon-guarded

castle.

KING

You wouldn't understand. You're not

her father!

QUEEN

Harold!

FIONA Shrek!

SHREK Fiona!

KING Fiona!

FIONA Mom!

QUEEN

Harold...

DONKEY

Donkey!

FIONA exits crying.

7 EXT. STREETS OF FAR FAR AWAY

FIONA enters, she hears the voice of FAIRY GODMOTHER

FAIRY GODMOTHER (FG)

7

12.

Your fallen tears have called to me

So, here comes my sweet remedy I

know what every princess needs For

her to live life happily...

Both gasp.

FG

Oh, my dear. Oh, look at you. You're

all grown up.

FIONA

Who are you?

FG

Oh, sweet pea! I'm your fairy

godmother.

FIONA

I have a fairy godmother?

FG

Shush, shush. Now, don't worry. I'm

here to make it all better. With

just a wave of my magic wand, your

troubles will soon be gone. For

example, how about a sporty carriage

to ride in style, with a sexy man-

boy chauffeur named Kyle?

KYLE enters.

FIONA

Thank you very much, Fairy

Godmother, but...

SHREK enters.

SHREK

Fiona? Fiona.

FIONA

Oh, uh...Fairy Godmother... I'd like

you to meet my husband, Shrek.

FG

Your husband? What? What did you

say? When did this happen?

FIONA

Shrek is the one who rescued me.

FG

But that can't be right.

13.

SHREK

Oh, great, more relatives!

FIONA

She's just trying to help.

SHREK

Good! She can help us pack. Get your

coat, dear. We're leaving.

FIONA

What? I don't want to leave. When

did you decide this?

SHREK

Shortly after arriving.

FIONA

Look, I'm sorry...

FG

No, that's all right. I need to go,

anyway. But remember, dear. If you

should ever need me...

happiness...is just a teardrop away.

SHREK

Thanks, but we've got all the

happiness we need. Happy, happy,

happy...

FG

So I see. Let's go, Kyle.

FIONA

Very nice, Shrek.

SHREK

What? I told you coming here was a

bad idea.

FIONA

You could've at least tried to get

along with my father.

SHREK

I don't think I was going to get

Daddy's blessing, even if I did want

it.

FIONA

Do you think it might be nice if

somebody asked me what I wanted?

14.

SHREK

Sure. Do you want me to pack for

you?

FIONA

You're unbelievable! You're behaving

like a...

SHREK

Go on! Say it!

FIONA

Like an ogre!

SHREK

Here's a news flash for you! Whether

your parents like it or not...I am

an ogre! And guess what, Princess?

That's not about to change.

FIONA

I've made changes for you, Shrek.

Think about that.

(exits)

DONKEY

That's real smooth, Shrek. "I'm an

ogre!"

8 INT. KING AND QUEEN’S BEDCHAMBER

KING

I knew this would happen.

QUEEN

You should. You started it.

KING

I can hardly believe that, Lillian.

He's the ogre. Not me.

QUEEN

I think, Harold, you're taking this

a little too personally. This is

Fiona's choice.

KING

But she was supposed to choose the

prince we picked for her. I mean,

you expect me to give my blessings

to this... thing?

QUEEN

8

15.

Fiona does. And she'll never forgive

you if you don't. I don't want to

lose our daughter again, Harold. Oh,

you act as if love is totally

predictable. Don't you remember when

we were young? We used to walk down

by the lily pond and...

KING

they were in bloom...

QUEEN

Our first kiss.

KING

It's not the same! I don't think you

realize that our daughter has

married a monster!

QUEEN

Oh, stop being such a drama king.

KING

Fine! Pretend there's nothing wrong!

La, di, da, di, da! Isn't it all

wonderful! I'd like to know how it

could get any worse!

FG

(out on the balcony)

Hello, Harold.

KING gasps.

QUEEN

What happened?

KING

Nothing, dear! Just the old crusade

wound playing up a bit! I'll just

stretch it out here for a while.

FC

We need to talk.

KING

Actually, Fairy Godmother, off to

bed.

(yawns)

Already taken my pills, and they

tend to make me a bit drowsy. So,

how about... we make this a quick

visit. What?

16.

(Bumps up against two

armed guards)

Oh, hello. Ha-ha-ha! So, what's new?

FG

You remember my son, Prince

Charming?

CHARMING enters.

KING

Is that you? My gosh! It's been

years. When did you get back?

CHARMING

Oh, about five minutes ago,

actually. After I endured blistering

winds, scorching desert...I climbed

to the highest room in the tallest

tower...

FG

Mommy can handle this. He endures

blistering winds and scorching

desert! He climbs to the highest

bloody room of the tallest bloody

tower...And what does he find? Some

gender-confused wolf telling him

that his princess is already

married.

KING

It wasn't my fault. He didn't get

there in time.

FG Harold.

(GUARD reaches into his

pocket)

You’ve forced me to do something I

really don't want to do.

KING (gasps)

What is that? What have you got

there?

GUARD pulls out a cellphone and gives it to FG.

FG

My diet is ruined! Yes, I’d like two

Renaissance Wraps, no mayo... chili

rings...

17.

CHARMING

I'll have the Medieval Meal.

FG

One Medieval Meal and, Harold...

Curly fries?

KING

No, thank you.

FG

Sourdough soft taco, then?

KING

No, really, I'm fine.

[satoshi-mochida]

Some thoughts on my last Gamefly rental, Dragon Ball Z: Kakarot.

*Though most people are familiar with DBZ, especially the three main Sagas in this game, given how often they’re played out in games, I’ll put a spoiler warning here just in case. Also, I didn’t try out the DLC stories, yet, so this will just be about the base PS4 game with it’s current updates. I may buy the game and try those out in the future. I also say a lot about the game.

The game spans from the Saiyan Saga to the end of the Buu Saga(not counting DLC). Pretty much every important scene is played through, though a few parts are skimmed over or skipped, like:

Goku traveling Snake Way, his brief fall into Hell, and training with King Kai(shown a bit and mentioned but not playable) 

Piccolo using Hellzone Grenade against Android 17(you can have him learn the move and do it yourself, though).

Future Trunks’ battle with Cell where he found out the speed-loss disadvantages of Super Saiyan Third Grade(that moment isn’t shown or mentioned, though he does still fight Cell in that form)

Vegito still attacking Super Buu after being turned into candy(which means we don’t get to see him beating Super Buu up as a high-speed jawbreaker). Also, Goku and Vegeta freeing everyone trapped inside Super Buu happens offscreen.

And possibly a few smaller moments. They aren’t too important in the long run, though, plus some were probably for better pacing or something.

There was some added stuff, too:

Several times, you’ll be able to meet, and occasionally do sidequests for, several older Dragon Ball characters, like Nam, Eighter and Launch.

A new fight for Goku against Kid Buu to end the main story before he launches the Super Spirit Bomb at him.

There's a fairly small amount of playable characters(who can also be put in a party as Support Members): 

Goku

Gohan

Vegeta

Piccolo

Future Trunks(Android/Cell Saga and Epilogue, only)

Gotenks(only in two battles against Super Buu)

Vegito(in one battle against Super Buu, which, considering how powerful Vegito is, is more of an epic beatdown than a fight)

And a few characters that are support only:

Krillin

Tien

Yamcha

Chiaotzu

Goten

Kid Trunks

Android 18

All characters, Main and Support Only, have a ‘Super Attack Skill Tree’ that you can use Z Orbs that you find/earn to give them new skills and attacks. What you can get increases based on the character’s level and story progress(example, you can’t get Super Saiyan 2 for Gohan until he unlocks it during the fight with Perfect Cell).

Throughout the game, you’ll collect ‘Soul Emblems’ to place onto several ‘Community Boards’ to increase various ingame bonuses, like more EXP or cooking benefits. You get Soul Emblems both from the main story and side quests. They can be leveled up with Gifts to increase the Community Level, giving more bonuses. This seems to be the best setup for all of the emblems that I found.

At campfires and at Goku’s House, you can make food from items/materials you have to give yourself a stat boost. And Chi-Chi can be asked to make the party Full Course Meals at her home, which also increase the Base Stats of whoever eats them.

A certain filler episode from the original series where Goku and Piccolo are forced to get a Driver's License also happens in this game(though unfortunately without the outfits they wore in said episode). After doing so, you unlock the ability to make cars and battle walkers from Bulma, as well as Time Attacks for both types of vehicles(which I didn’t do much of).

Like the first Budokai game, this one has story’s events shown in cutscenes, which the later ones just had them happen in dialogue to speed things along, probably. And they did a really good job of animated said scenes, matching the look and feel of the series VERY closely.

The flying also feels well done, and true to the series. Aside from flying normally, which is fairly slow, you can hit L3 to start flying faster, at the cost of your Ki slowly going down and not being able to sense Ki with R1. This is the best way to travel the the large maps. Goku and Gohan can also use the Flying Nimbus, though you can’t pick up items that you need to hit Circle while doing so. Also, ramming into weaker enemies while flying will defeat them instantly and give you EXP. It’s a bit hard to aim yourself at enemies correctly, sometimes, though. 

Going underwater functions the same as flying, except with an air meter to keep an eye on. If it runs out, you get kicked back above where you entered the water as the only penalty. Take a peek down under whatever bodies of water you find; there’s always stuff to see and collect, depending on the map, especially on maps with oceans.

You can also dash on the ground by hitting L3, and unlike when flying, you can still sense Ki while doing so. 

I feel like this game’s flying controls are about what it should feel like for a Superman game. Probably might need a few tweaks to fit more with that series, but this feels like a good base for that kind of game.

The game’s many maps are pretty large, with lots to see and explore, including towns, caves that you need to be a certain level to enter, materials to gather, fishing spots, and more. They include plenty of well known DBZ locations, insulting Kame House(and the ocean around it), West City and Capsule Corp., Korin’s Tower and Kami’s Lookout, and so on.

Floating around these maps are enemies you can fight. They grow in strength as you do/the story progresses. If you’re strong enough and are fast-flying when running into an enemy, you’ll defeat it and gain EXP right away.

Speaking of Korin’s Tower, you can eventually unlock the ability to grow Senzu Beans there, which fully heal you. Once they’re unlocked, they will gradually grow and can be collected from Korin, with a Senzu Bean icon appearing next to it on the World Map if there’s any available. He will hold up to 9 at once, so check back once in a while.

Fishing is pretty easy to do; just hit one of the face buttons(X, Triangle, Square and Circle) when the marker is in a marked area, then hot one again when the closing circle is within another marked circle(this might make more sense when you see it yourself). You’ll get items for cooking from fishing, and some sidequests need them, or just certain types of fish, to clear. An amusing detail when fishing is that Goku and Gohan, even when he’s a teenager, use a fake tail as a lure while Vegeta and Piccolo fish like normal people(I forgot to check and see what Future Trunks does, but probably the latter).

After clearing the Frieza Saga, you can collect the Dragon Balls on Earth during Intermissions. They give off a small orange slow when sensing for Ki, and you’ll hear a low humming sound when you’re close to one. You can get several different wishes from them, with three of them always being for Z Orbs, Zeni or Rare Material Items. Other wishes are reviving certain dead characters to fight them again, and can only be done once, unlike the three listed above. At first, you can only make 1 wish at a time, but as the game goes on, it gets upgraded to 2 then 3 wishes at once. After making a wish(s), you ‘ll need to wait 20 ingame minutes before the Dragon Balls can be found and used again. They seems to have a couple set locations on whatever map they end up on(two locations are west of Orange/Satan City, for example).

Speaking of Mr. Satan...I know that his actually Japanese stage name, but I always end up calling him Hercule due to hearing that for so many years(and just liking how that sounds better). Also, ‘Satan City’ just sounds really funny. XD

You probably won’t need to really grind in the base game; you should get enough experience from doing sidequests and story events to get by. Gohan especially; he ended up quite a few more levels than everyone else just from the story EXP alone, and his Unleashed Potential ‘form’ from Elder Kai makes him do quite a lot more damage. Also, gained experience is shared among all party members, even those not currently set to fight.

One of the sidequests you can do throughout the game is defeating ‘Villainous Enemies’, who are fairly strong, and are covered in a red aura. You should at least be at or around their level before fighting them, since you can’t run from fights in this game. It may be best to do them during Intermissions when you can select your party members, and bringing someone who can stun with Solar Flare(like Krillin), can be really helpful. 

In the epilogue/postgame, in addition to being able to play as Future Trunks(talk to him outside of Capsule Corp.), you can also use his time machine to redo Boss fights, and do any sidequests you may have missed.

The game’s opening has the old opening for the show, ‘Cha-La-Head-Cha-La”, and this is the first time I really listened to it. It’s really good, and kind of reminds me of the opening to Mystical Ninja Starring Goemon, too, for some reason.

There’s a few parts where there’s some nice attention to the series’ details:

At several story points when Saiyan characters are healed, like with Senzu Beans or the healing pod on Namek, they gain experience, while others, like Krillin, don’t get that bonus, which does make them, admittedly accurately, start lagging behind in strength.

If you use Ki Sense on Androids, and a certain researcher in Capsule Corp., you won’t see anything emitting from them.

If you have Piccolo and/or Android 18 in your party while eating a Full Course Meal from Chi-Chi, they won’t eat any of it. Saiyan characters(again, forgot to check Future Trunks) eat it ravenously(even Vegeta), while human party members eat normally.

Only Goku and Gohan can use the Flying Numbus.

These aren’t really important observations, but some events in the game made me think:

Did Piccolo destroying the Moon to stop Gohan’s Great Ape form have any effects on Earth? Or did nothing really happen?

How in the world did Supreme Kai and Babidi survive being so close to Majin Vegeta when he used Final Explosion while Piccolo and Krillin hightailed it out of there with Goten and Kid Trunks? 

I noticed a possible(intentional) goof at the end. In the cutscene after beating Kid Buu and going back to Kami’s Lookout to reunite with everyone, Dende is a kid again for some reason. Apparently, both the original anime and manga made this goof too, so maybe it’s a nod to that? It is kind of jarring, though. XD

A couple technical issues I found were that sometimes when loading a map, and in some battles later on, the game would hang for a couple seconds, and one time it crashed while it was loading into an area after traveling to another. Thank goodness for autosave. Also, be careful using the stronger version of Goku’s Spirit Bomb attacks; it caused major lag for me a couple times.

This ended up being one of my favorite DBZ games that I’ve played, close runners up including 

Budokai 3

Budokai Tenkaichi 2(mainly for just how many characters that one has, including most of the movies from around that time, outmatched by Budokai Tenkaichi 3, which I didn’t play)

Legacy of Goku 2(I didn’t get the chance to play Buu’s Fury back then)

Next game being sent is: Nitroplus Blasterz: Heroines Infinite Duel

[dragonrajafanfiction]

The Red Well (End) Sisters

You guys haven’t had the pleasure of seeing Erii fight in this fanfiction. I present to you, Erii the Dragonslayer. And yes... she really is like this.

Golden snake-like bodies were tumbling into the Red Well.  The stampede had progressed to the point where even if a Deadpool understood that, if it fell, it would die when it hit the bottom, the pressures of those pushing behind it overwhelmed its need to survive. You couldn’t tell the difference between the screams from eager hunger and the terrified cries of the dying as the over 1,000 deadpool flooded the well. The bullet-riddled far wall in front of you became a sparkling wall of gold, like someone was pouring champagne. Eventually, the bodies of the dead and dying piled feet high to create a softer landing for those that came behind and now the horde was surging forward, eyes bulging in madness.

Erii calmly put her notepad back into her suitcase as though the hellish bedlam behind her was as ordinary as morning rush hour.  Then she turned her back on the Light King inhabiting your body and stepped towards the edge of the maintenance platform.

The Light King expected fear and got none. Now it was curious and was again rummaging through your memories for this fearless being called ‘sister.’

Chisei’s voice from a memory you didn’t consciously recall spoke. “Chime… I’m sorry.”

“Brother… I just want to be with you.” Chime could barely speak for his tears. He was gasping desperately. His voice was muffled, like he was hugging his brother. “I just want to be there. Please… don’t leave me behind. I know I’m useless… Just don’t leave me behind!” His voice descended into crying again.

Your heart warms. You didn’t remember this and there was no visual. You’d passed out listening to the beginning of the sentence. But your ears had still caught and recorded those words before you had completely lost all consciousness. The meddling of the Light King in your brain gave you a gift. The Gen brothers had reconciled. It should have been impossible, but your own forgiveness for the death of Chance gave you the power to literally ‘move forward’. You’d given that forgiveness willingly and unasked and this is what managed to give them a second chance. Despite your denials that you cared for Chisei, you had internalized enough of Chime’s love for his brother to come through in the end. Chisei is still a big dummy, but now he finally understood how badly Chime loved him.

The Light King mouthed the words from your lips. “Sister…?”

This great being that had taken control of your body and locked your mind in a cage did not retain any of the memories from her prior existence. She was rediscovering the world through your mind. Since this little human Erii who stood unblinkingly before her was associated with a familial word, it was pulling the memories based on the emotions they invoked, the bond of family. 

Erii reached the edge of the engineering platform and stood at the precipice of the deep hole that would lead to the lake below. “The person speaking to me is not my sister. Let my sister go or you will pay the price.” She said.

You had never heard Erii’s speak before. The tone was sweet and clear, and almost bored, but the language was a biting commanding snarl in the language of dragons, like an alpha wolf disciplining an errant pack member and who expected immediate obedience without question. There were no honorifics or polite gestures. Just a command followed by a threat.

A boiling explosive rage burst from the Light King! How dare this pitiful speck speak to her in that way! 

Erii softly hums and a warm wind begins to rise from the bottom of the well. It carried with it the scent of death and decay. Erii points her finger down towards the water.

A dense red cloud erupts from the bottom of the well, tossing her hair and skirt before it engulfs her. It’s superheated. The pressure against the wall of the well caused the ground to shake beneath you. Heavy metal debris, pieces of the Yamata-No-Orochi and all the myriads of skeletons of the dragon kin that died in the lake are carried in what could only be described as a geyser, a pyroclastic flow from a volcano in miniature. The rocks tremble and leap at your feet.  The encroaching Deadpool swarm hesitates to advance, fearful of that great heat.

The cloud continues to rise until it reaches the well opening and would appear like a dark red smoke in the middle of the mountains. Just like a cloud, it condensed as it rose and soon an eerie red rain began to fall. The objects carried by the cloud rained down too. Bones and body parts land with dull splats on the ground.

Your body’s limbs burst with energy and leap toward Erii. Your eyes are on her delicate white neck. Your arm curls to cut her with the Gathering Cloud Sword! The killing intent was clear. The Light King wanted to see her head sail off her body! But Erii disappears into that dense cloud of red. In seconds, your body is drenched in rank deadpool blood and chemicals. 

You look down into the well. Erii had instantly evaporated all the water in the well. The kilometer wide lake was completely empty.

As the mist clears you see a delicate running figure! Erii is fleeing! The Light King feels triumphant. Yes, run little sister! Fear me!

Erii had run to the other side of the well towards the safety cabins. The Light King laughed, pulling a memory that told her that the safety cabins could protect you from harm. So this pathetic little creature was afraid after all!

Her laughter stopped when Erii tossed her suitcase into the cabin and shut the door before turning back around. She wasn’t running in to protect herself. 

She just wanted to protect her stuff. 

Erii’s flight had taken her right into the middle of the deadpool swarm and they surrounded her like an army of footsoldiers. But no one wanted to be the first to strike. There was about ten yards between her and the deadpool swarm and they swayed like seagrass on their tails while Erii raised her hand. Her mouth opened and her voice spoke a single word. 

“Death!”

Evaporating the water wasn’t just a cover. Hydra had dumped 5,000 tons of mercury into the well. Mercury was far denser than water and extremely heavy. It had settled in a silver layer at the bottom of the lake and was now exposed. This silver layer came up, not as a cloud, but as a perfect sphere of liquid metal, like the pinball of a pinball machine. 

Erii snapped her hand shut. “Death!”

The silver ball burst into millions of silver mercury bullets and fired like birdshot into the thousands of dead pool bodies. In an instant, hundreds of perfect round holes were pitting into their scales. The speed and force of those projectiles drilled into their flesh and began to corrode the deadpool from the inside out. Black blood squirted in tiny streams from each of them like someone had poked holes into a plastic water bottle.

The front of the deadpool collapsed and they rushed to the wall to try to escape. The winged deadpool and those who could sprout wings tried to take off towards the opening of the well and get away from this monster!

Erii’s crimson eyes burned red and gold. She knelt down as though picking up a large and heavy object. Her hands closed around something and a force like a magnetic pulse that crackled with blue electricity sparked across the entire well. All the weapons in the well, from guns to rocket launchers to knives and swords levitated and converged towards her hand. All the weapons from the Engineering team and the Hydra operatives that had been left in the well were now being wielded by Erii.

When she lifted her hands over her head, these thousands of weapons lifted and came to be in the shape of a great blade, a blade made out of many individual weapons, something like the world had never seen before.

“Death!”

Erii swung this ‘sword’ once in a horizontal arc. The sword fractured and all the weapons surrounded her in a spectacular circular array and fired all at once. All the pistols, the submachine guns, the vulcan cannons, the rocket launchers - They all fired at the same time in a single thunderous volley! The swords and the knives flew out like self-propelled bullets, chasing and cutting their targets to pieces.

Deadpool heads exploded, their limbs fell off, they were skewered  and pinned to the ground and to the surrounding rocks. They were even pierced together like pieces of meat on a kabob. These powerful creatures had been reduced to fish in a barrel, unable to flee the unbelievable slaughter.

The army that the Light King had summoned fell under the bullets and were sliced apart by the flying swords. The winged deadpools’ limbs were severed before they could reach the top of the well. Their bodies were split to pieces and they fell to the ground in sections.

It was not that Erii knew how to wield any of these weapons. She didn’t have to. Her command to kill was enough for these weapons to fire with maximum lethality. Her life was like a video game where the player didn’t have to know how to kill anyone or anything. The enemy units died at the push of the button.

Erii was now walking unobstructed back towards the Light King on bloody ground, her red hair and bloody skirt flapping in the wind. Her skin is covered in silvery white scales, and from her hair two crystalline horns twisted in a straight corkscrew. Her golden eyes were like determined jewels and locked on yours. She was unarmed. But for the first time, you feel a cold creeping dread from this dragon in your body. You smile inwardly as you watch Erii come towards you. 

You recite your vow in your mind. “We are bound by blood and by love. We will never betray each other. We will always defend each other. And when one calls for help, we will dash to their rescue. If anyone comes between us… may they die!”

The Light King finally understood. A sister was blood and love, a violent and desperate thing. If the Light King wanted to fully resurrect and evolve with your body it would have to kill this sister!

The monster in your body dashed across the distance between you and Erii with inhuman speed, bare feet running heedlessly over the uneven ground, splashing up a wake of blood five feet high. Erii regally pulled herself straight to her full height like a queen and let this being come. Her body grew closer and closer in your vision and a scream tears from your throat. You can see the frightening emotionlessness behind Erii’s golden pupils before a metal disc as twice as tall as you are buzzsaws between you.

Instead of using a literal sword, Erii had summoned the saw blade that had broken the Yamata-no-Orochi into pieces. With the single command, she not only controlled the weapons, but also every object on the field, including the tools of the scientists.

You see your own reflection in this metal blade. Your skin is covered in scales like Erii’s. Your eyes are the color of lava -- gold and red and black. But the sudden appearance of this sawblade made your eyes widen with surprise.  The sawblade caught the swing of the Gathering Clouds sword and snapped in half. Erii gripped those gigantic half moon blades  as easily as if they were a pair of paper fans!

With every slash of the Gathering Cloud sword the buzzsaw snaps into more pieces! But Erii doesn’t stop her assault, wielding four, eight and then sixteen super sharp pieces of a giant circular saw against you. The shattered wheel spirals like fire in the air and the Gathering Cloud sword is a blur in your hand. The images of your body and Erii’s body disappear in this light as each of you reaches the limits of your speed and agility. But Erii doesn’t have to directly control every piece like you have to directly control the sword. In this she has the advantage. Soon there are two many pieces for even the dragon to follow. You scream inside and the Light King controlling you screams with your voice! The blades slice through your dress and through your scales, leaving deep gouges of running blood.

The Light King has not fed and doesn’t have much energy, but it draws from the reserves of your body and the skin of your back cracks open revealing large bone wings.  Your new wings stir the air. You wave the sword of Gathering Clouds and shoot upward to flee! The dragon inside you has given up on defeating Erii and wants to escape to eat!

A huge metal arm swings at you before you get half way out. Attached to a tall crane is a large sling  that had been used to hoist the Orochi out of the ice. This sling catches you like a butterfly in a net. The Light King slices its way out of this net but a bright light of a laser cutter severs that crane arm in two and the arm crashes down on you and brings you back to the ground. You’re pinned under this debris.

Erii is standing, legs parted and firm, holding a gigantic steel barrel over her head. She throws this barrel and the laser cutter swings to cut it open! A clear smoking liquid splashes out and covers you. You’re overtaken with a sudden painful, unbelievable cold! Freezing fog sweeps the well and the red rain freezes solid and turns to crimson ice and snow.

Liquid nitrogen! Erii has found one of the tanks of the liquid nitrogen and was using it to slow your body down! It burns you like fire and you want to curl into a ball and pass out, but so long as the dragon controlling your body was awake so were you and you just had to endure the pain.

The Light King doesn’t give up but it’s shivering violently. Your muscles are stiff with cold and the crane arm is heavy. It presses your hands to the ground to push up and slowly the metal debris starts to lift. 

A loud rumble reaches your ears. Erii, eyes still blazing with golden fire, has turned the laser cutters to the wall of the well. The lasers started on opposite sides and met in the middle and a huge chunk of solid rock slid off the well wall, bringing down boulders the size of cars onto the scattered remains of the dead and what was left of the undamaged equipment. 

A second crane grabs this house sized boulder on a hook and two-feet thick chain and Erii’s tiny body leaps up to seize that chain. With a mighty heave she lifts that boulder and throws it down on you.

The Light King’s vision fills with what could only be described as a meteor coming down on it. But it was helpless to dodge. It takes the full force of the blow and the crushing weight that leaves a meters wide crater. Erii lifts the boulder and the Light King’s wings have been shattered. But she still looks up and cries out in defiance! Erii is merciless and lifts the boulder again! The boulder smashes down again! The Light King in your body is gasping in stunned disbelief. But Erii is not finished. She brings down the boulder again! And again!

The thunderous sound of this brutal beating sounds like exploding dynamite. The entire area shook and it registered on Tokyo’s Earthquake Monitoring System. She brought down that boulder on your head until it finally shattered to pieces and fell from the hook. Erii leaped from the crane and walked up to you, striding confidently through the shattered rock.

The Light King had no strength left in this body. Your mind is blank with pain. You barely register that Erii is standing over you and looking down at you.

A small thing is wiggling on your back, attached to your spine. The Light King has decided that it doesn’t want your body any more. It wants Erii’s! It lets you go and is trying to wriggle out of your scaly skin. But Erii points at it with one delicate fingertip.

“Death.”

There’s a soft snap, like someone breaking a pencil in half. The creature stiffens. Its whole body turns black and then it crumbles to ashes.

The legacy of the Light King ended in that moment. The Light King would no longer rise again in the world.

The violent presence in your mind releases and you’re suddenly back in your body! The pain is dizzying, but your body is already working frantically to heal itself from its injuries. Your muscles are twitching with phenomenal regrowth even with this terrible cold. Erii lifts off the remaining debris from you and hugs you. 

You relax into her warm embrace and you shiver. Your body is split open still and your blood soaks her head to toe. Little by little, the scales disappear to reveal plain white skin. Erii’s horns loosen and fall from her head.

“How did you find me?” You ask her.

Erii doesn’t speak again. She just shakes her head slightly and ducks under your arm to help you to your feet. She supports you all the way across one of the most devastating battlefields in history to the safety cabin and sets you down before opening the door and returning with a notebook. She writes in it and shows it to you.

“I don’t know. I was supposed to be going to the airport. Have you seen Sakura?”

[hominggames-blog]

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[im-just-trying-to-get-bi]

Charming: Once upon a time in a kingdom far, far away, the king and queen were blessed with a beautiful baby girl. And throughout the land, everyone was happy... until the sun went down and they saw that their daughter was cursed with a frightful enchantment that took hold each and every night. Desperate, they sought the help of a fairy godmother who had them lock the young princess away in a tower, there to await the kiss... of the handsome Prince Charming. It was he who would chance the perilous journey through blistering cold and scorching desert traveling for many days and nights, risking life and limb to reach the Dragon's keep. For he was the bravest, and most handsome... in all the land. And it was destiny that his kiss would break the dreaded curse. He alone would climb to the highest room of the tallest tower to enter the princess's chambers, cross the room to her sleeping silhouette, pull back the gossamer curtains to find her-- [gasps] Big Bad Wolf: What? Charming: Princess... Fiona? Big Bad Wolf: No! Charming: Oh, thank heavens. Where is she? Big Bad Wolf: She's on her honeymoon. Charming: Honeymoon? With whom? So she said what's the problem, baby? What's the problem? I don't know Well, maybe I'm in love Think about it every time I think 'bout it Can't stop thinking 'bout it How much longer will it take to cure this? Just to cure it, 'cause I can't ignore it If it's love, love Makes me wanna turn around and face me But I don't know nothing 'bout love Oh, come on, come on - Turn a little faster Come on, come on The world will follow after Come on, come on Everybody's after love So I said I'm a snowball running Running down into this spring that's coming all this love Melting under blue skies belting out sunlight Shimmering love Well, baby, I surrender To the strawberry ice cream Never ever end of all this love Well, I didn't mean to do it But there's no escaping your love These lines of lightning mean we're never alone Never alone, no, no Come on, come on Jump a little higher Come on, come on If you feel a little lighter Come on, come on We were once upon a time in love Hyah! We're accidentally in love Accidentally in love Accidentally in love Accidentally in love Accidentally in love Accidentally in love Accidentally in love Accidentally I'm in love, I'm in love, I'm in love, I'm in love I'm in love, I'm in love Accidentally in love I'm in love I'm in love It's so good to be home. Just you and me and... - Two can be as bad as one... - Donkey? Shrek! Fiona! Aren't you two a sight for sore eyes! Give us a hug, Shrek, you old love machine. And look at you, Mrs. Shrek. How 'bout a side of sugar for the steed? Donkey, what are you doing here? Taking care of your love nest for you. Oh, you mean like... sorting the mail and watering the plants? - Yeah, and feeding the fish! - I don't have any fish. You do now. I call that one Shrek and the other Fiona. That Shrek is a rascally devil. Get your... Look at the time. I guess you'd better be going. Don't you want to tell me about your trip? Or how about a game of Parcheesi? Actually, Donkey? Shouldn't you be getting home to Dragon? Oh, yeah, that. I don't know. She's been all moody and stuff lately. I thought I'd move in with you. You know we're always happy to see you, Donkey. But Fiona and I are married now. We need a little time, you know, to be together. Just with each other. Alone. Say no more. You don't have to worry about a thing. I will always be here to make sure nobody bothers you. - Donkey. - Yes, roomie? You're bothering me. Oh, OK. All right, cool. I guess... Me and Pinocchio was going to catch a tournament, anyway, so... Maybe I'll see y'all Sunday for a barbecue or something. He'll be fine. Now, where were we? Oh. I think I remember. - Donkey! I know, I know! Alone! I'm going! I'm going. What do you want me to tell these other guys? Enough, Reggie. "Dearest Princess Fiona. You are hereby summoned to the Kingdom of Far, Far Away for a royal ball in celebration of your marriage at which time the King will bestow his royal blessing... upon you and

your...uh... Prince Charming. Love, the King and Queen of Far, Far Away. aka Mom and Dad." Mom and Dad? - Prince Charming? - Royal ball?! Can I come? - We're not going. - What?! I mean, don't you think they might be a bit... shocked to see you like this? Well, they might be a bit surprised. But they're my parents, Shrek. They love me. And don't worry. They'll love you, too. Yeah, right. Somehow I don't think I'll be welcome at the country club. Stop it. They're not like that. How do you explain Sergeant Pompous and the Fancy Pants Club Band? Oh, come on! You could at least give them a chance. To do what? Sharpen their pitchforks? No! They just want to give you their blessing. Oh, great. Now I need their blessing? If you want to be a part of this family, yes! Who says I want to be part of this family? You did! When you married me! Well, there's some fine print for you! So that's it? You won't come? Trust me. It's a bad idea. We are not going! And that's final! Come on! We don't want to hit traffic! Don't worry! We'll take care of everything. - Hey, wait for me. Oof! Hit it! Move 'em on! Head 'em up! Head 'em up, move 'em on! Head 'em up! Rawhide! Move 'em on! Head 'em up! Move 'em on! Move 'em on! Head 'em up! Rawhide! Ride 'em up! Move 'em on! Head 'em up! Move 'em on! Rawhide! Knock 'em out! Pound 'em dead! Make 'em tea! Buy 'em drinks! Meet their mamas! Milk 'em hard! Rawhide! Yee-haw! - Are we there yet? - No. - Are we there yet? - Not yet. - OK, are we there yet? - No. - Are we there yet? - No! - Are we there yet? - No! - Are we there yet? - No! - Are we there yet?! - We are not! - Are we there yet?! - Yes! - Really?! - No!! - Are we there yet? - That's not funny. That's really immature. - This is why nobody likes ogres. - Your loss! - I'm gonna just stop talking. - Finally! This is taking forever, Shrek. There's no in-flight movie or nothing! The Kingdom of Far, Far Away, Donkey. That's where we're going. Far, far... away! All right, all right, I get it. I'm just so darn bored. Well, find a way to entertain yourself. For five minutes... Could you not be yourself... for five minutes?! Are we there yet?! - Yes! - Oh, finally! Wow! It's going to be champagne wishes and caviar dreams from now on. Hey, good-looking! We'll be back to pick you up later! Gotta make a move to a town that's right for me We are definitely not in the swamp anymore. Halt! Well, I talk about it, talk about it, talk about it, talk about it Hey, everyone, look. Talk about, talk about movin'... Hey, ladies! Nice day for a parade, huh? You working that hat. Swimming pools! Movie stars! Announcing the long-awaited return of the beautiful Princess Fiona and her new husband. Well, this is it. - This is it. - This is it. This is it. Uh... why don't you guys go ahead? I'll park the car. So... you still think this was a good idea? Of course! Look. Mom and Dad look happy to see us. - Who on earth are they? - I think that's our little girl. That's not little! That's a really big problem. Wasn't she supposed to kiss Prince Charming and break the spell? Well, he's no Prince Charming, but they do look... Happy now? We came. We saw them. Now let's go before they light the torches. - They're my parents. - Hello? They locked you in a tower. That was for my own... Good! Here's our chance. Let's go back inside and pretend we're not home. Harold, we have to be... Quick! While they're not looking we can make a run for it. Shrek, stop it! Everything's gonna be... A disaster! There is no way... - You can do this. - I really... - Really... - don't... want... to... be... Here! Mom... Dad... I'd like you to meet my husband... Shrek. Well, um... It's easy to see where Fiona gets her good looks from. - Excuse me. Better out than in, I always say, eh, Fiona? That's good. I guess not. What do you mean, not on the list? Don't tell me you don't know who I am. What do you mean, not on the list? Don't tell me you don't know who I am. What's happening, everybody? Thanks for waiting. - I had the hardest time finding this place. - No! No! Bad donkey! Bad! Down! No, Dad! It's all

right. It's all right. He's with us. - He helped rescue me from the dragon. - That's me: the noble steed. Waiter! How 'bout a bowl for the steed? Oh, boy. - Um, Shrek? - Yeah? Oh, sorry! Great soup, Mrs Q. Mmm! No, no. Darling. Oh! So, Fiona, tell us about where you live. Well... Shrek owns his own land. - Don't you, honey? - Oh, yes! It's in an enchanted forest abundant in squirrels and cute little duckies and... What?! I know you ain't talking about the swamp. An ogre from a swamp. Oh! How original. I suppose that would be a fine place to raise the children. It's a bit early to be thinking about that, isn't it? - indeed. I just started eating. - Harold! - What's that supposed to mean? - Dad. It's great. OK? - For his type. Yes. - My type?! I got to go to the bathroom. - Dinner is served! - Never mind. I can hold it. Bon appetite! Oh, Mexican food! My favorite. Let's not sit here with our tummies rumbling. Everybody, dig in. Don't mind if I do, Lillian. I suppose any grandchildren I could expect from you would be... Ogres. Yes! Not that there's anything wrong with that. Right, Harold? Oh, no! No! Of course, not! That is, assuming you don't eat your own young! Dad! No, we usually prefer the ones who've been locked away in a tower! - Shrek, please! - I only did that because I love her. Aye, day care or dragon-guarded castle. You wouldn't understand. You're not her father. It's so nice to have the family together for dinner. - Harold! - Shrek! - Fiona! - Fiona! - Mom! - Harold... Donkey! Your fallen tears have called to me So, here comes my sweet remedy I know what every princess needs For her to live life happily... Oh, my dear. Oh, look at you. You're all grown up. - Who are you? - Oh, sweet pea! I'm your fairy godmother. - I have a fairy godmother? - Shush, shush. Now, don't worry. I'm here to make it all better. With just a... Wave of my magic wand Your troubles will soon be gone With a flick of the wrist and just a flash You'll land a prince with a ton of cash A high-priced dress made by mice no less Some crystal glass pumps And no more stress Your worries will vanish, your soul will cleanse Confide in your very own furniture friends We'll help you set a new fashion trend - I'll make you fancy, I'll make you great - The kind of girl a prince would date! They'll write your name on the bathroom wall... For a happy ever after, give Fiona a call! A sporty carriage to ride in style, Sexy man boy chauffeur, Kyle Banish your blemishes, tooth decay, Cellulite thighs will fade away And oh, what the hey! Have a bichon fris!' Nip and tuck, here and there to land that prince with the perfect hair Lipstick liners, shadows blush To get that prince with the sexy tush Lucky day, hunk buffet You and your prince take a roll in the hay You can spoon on the moon With the prince to the tune Don't be drab, you'll be fab Your prince will have rock-hard abs Cheese souffle, Valentine's Day Have some chicken fricassee! Nip and tuck, here and there To land that prince with the perfect hair Stop! Look... Thank you very much, Fairy Godmother, but I really don't need all this. - Fine. Be that way. - We didn't like you, anyway. - Fiona? Fiona? Oh! You got a puppy? All I got in my room was shampoo. Oh, uh... Fairy Godmother, furniture... I'd like you to meet my husband, Shrek. Your husband?! What? What did you say? When did this happen? Shrek is the one who rescued me. - But that can't be right. - Oh, great. More relatives! She's just trying to help. Good! She can help us pack. Get your coat, dear. We're leaving. - What?! - I don't want to leave. When did you decide this? - Shortly after arriving. - Look, I'm sorry... No. That's all right. I need to go, anyway. But remember, dear. If you should ever need me... happiness... is just a teardrop away. Thanks, but we've got all the happiness we need. Happy, happy, happy... So I see. Let's go, Kyle. - Very nice, Shrek. - What? I told you coming here was a bad idea. You could've at least tried to get along with my father. I don't think I was going to get Daddy's blessing, even if I did want it. Do you

think it might be nice if somebody asked me what I wanted? Sure. Do you want me to pack for you? You're unbelievable! You're behaving like a... - Go on! Say it! - Like an ogre! Here's a news flash for you! Whether your parents like it or not... I am an ogre! And guess what, Princess? That's not about to change. I've made changes for you, Shrek. Think about that. That's real smooth, Shrek. I'm an ogre! I knew this would happen. You should. You started it. I can hardly believe that, Lillian. He's the ogre. Not me. I think, Harold, you're taking this a little too personally. This is Fiona's choice. But she was supposed to choose the prince we picked for her. I mean, you expect me to give my blessings to this... thing? Fiona does. And she'll never forgive you if you don't. I don't want to lose our daughter again, Harold. Oh, you act as if love is totally predictable. Don't you remember when we were young? We used to walk down by the lily pond and... - they were in bloom... - Our first kiss. It's not the same! I don't think you realize that our daughter has married a monster! Oh, stop being such a drama king. Fine! Pretend there's nothing wrong! La, di, da, di, da! Isn't it all wonderful! I'd like to know how it could get any worse! - Hello, Harold. - What happened? - Nothing, dear! Just the old crusade wound playing up a bit! I'll just stretch it out here for a while. You better get in. We need to talk. Actually, Fairy Godmother, off to bed. Already taken my pills, and they tend to make me a bit drowsy. So, how about... we make this a quick visit. What? Oh, hello. Ha-ha-ha! So, what's new? You remember my son, Prince Charming?! ls that you? My gosh! It's been years. When did you get back? Oh, about five minutes ago, actually. After I endured blistering winds, scorching desert... I climbed to the highest room in the tallest tower... Mommy can handle this. He endures blistering winds and scorching desert! He climbs to the highest bloody room of the tallest bloody tower... And what does he find? Some gender-confused wolf telling him that his princess... is already married. It wasn't my fault. He didn't get there in time. Stop the car! Harold. You force me to do something. I really don't want to do. Where are we? Hi. Welcome to Friar's Fat Boy! May I take your order? My diet is ruined! I hope you're happy. Uh... Okay. Two Renaissance Wraps, no mayo... chili rings... - I'll have the Medieval Meal. - One Medieval Meal, and, Harold... - Curly fries? - No, thank you. - Sourdough soft taco, then? - No, really, I'm fine. Your order, Fairy Godmother. This comes with the Medieval Meal. There you are, dear. We made a deal, Harold. And I assume you don't want me to go back on my part. Indeed not. So, Fiona and Charming will be together. - Yes. - Believe me, Harold. It's what's best. Not only for your daughter... But for your Kingdom. What am I supposed to do about it? Use your imagination. Oh... Come on in, Your Majesty. I like my town With a little drop of poison Nobody knows... Excuse me. Do I know you? No, you must be mistaking me for someone else. Uh... excuse me. I'm looking for the Ugly Stepsister. Ah! There you are. Right. You see, I need to have someone taken care of. - Who's the guy? - Well, he's not a guy, per se. Um... He's an ogre. Hey, buddy, let me clue you in. There's only one fellow who can handle a job like that, and, frankly... he don't like to be disturbed. he don't like to be disturbed. Where could I find him? Hello? Who dares enter my room? Sorry! I hope I'm not interrupting, but I'm told you're the one to talk to about an ogre problem? You are told correct. But for this, I charge a great deal of money. Would... this be enough? You have engaged my valuable services, Your Majesty. Just tell me where I can find this ogre. Everyone says I'm getting down too low Everyone says you've just gotta let it go You just gotta let it go I need some sleep Time to put the old horse down I'm in too deep And the wheels keep spinning round Everyone says you've just gotta let it go Everyone says you've just gotta let it go Dear

Knight, I pray that you take this favor as a token of my gratitude. Dear Diary... Sleeping Beauty is having a slumber party tomorrow, but Dad says I can't go. He never lets me out after sunset. Dad says I'm going away for a while. Must be like some finishing school. Mom says that when I'm old enough, my Prince Charming will rescue me from my tower and bring me back to my family, and we'll all live happily ever after. Mrs. Fiona Charming. Mrs. Fiona Charming. Mrs. Fiona Charming. Mrs. Fiona Charming. Sorry. I hope I'm not interrupting anything. No. No. I was just reading a, uh... a scary book. I was hoping you'd let me apologize for my despicable behavior earlier. - Okay... - I don't know what came over me. Do you suppose we could pretend it never happened and start over... - Look, Your Majesty, I just... - Please. Call me. Dad. Dad. We both acted like ogres. Maybe we just need some time to get to know each other? Excellent idea! I was actually hoping you might join me for a morning hunt. A little father-son time? I know it would mean the world to Fiona. Shall we say, Face it, Donkey! We're lost. We can't be lost. We followed the King's instructions exactly. Head to the darkest part of the woods...Past the sinister trees with scary-looking branches.- The bush shaped like Shirley Bassey! - We passed that three times already! You were the one who said not to stop for directions. Oh, great. My one chance to fix things up with Fiona's dad and I end up lost in the woods with you! Don't get huffy! I'm only trying to help. I know! I know. - I'm sorry, all right? - Hey, don't worry about it. I just really need to make things work with this guy. Yeah, sure. Now let's go bond with Daddy. Well, well, well, Donkey. I know it was kind of a tender moment back there, but the purring? What? I ain't purring. Sure. What's next? A hug? Hey, Shrek. Donkeys don't purr. What do you think I am, some kind of a... Ha-ha! Fear me, if you dare! Look! A little cat. - Look out, Shrek! He got a piece! - It's a cat, Donkey. Come here, little kitty, kitty. Come on, little kitty. Come here. Oh! Come here, little kitty. - Whoa! - Hold on, Shrek! I'm coming! - Come on! Get it off! Get it off! Oh, God. Oh... No! - Look out, Shrek! Hold still! - Get it off! Shrek! Hold still! - Did I miss? - No. You got them. Now, ye ogre, pray for mercy from... Puss... In Boots! I'll kill that cat! Ah-ha-ha! Hairball. - Oh! That is nasty! What should we do with him? Take the sword and neuter him. Give him the Bob Barker treatment. Oh, no! Por favor! Please! I implore you! It was nothing personal, Senor. I was doing it only for my family. My mother, she is sick. And my father lives off the garbage! The King offered me much in gold and I have a litter of brothers... Whoa, whoa, whoa! Fiona's father paid you to do this? The rich King? Si. Well, so much for Dad's royal blessing. Don't feel bad. Almost everybody that meets you wants to kill you. Gee, thanks. Maybe Fiona would've been better off if I were some sort of Prince Charming. That's what the King said. Oh, uh... sorry. I thought that question was directed at me. Shrek, Fiona knows you'd do anything for her. Well, it's not like I wouldn't change if I could. I just... I just wish I could make her happy. Hold the phone... Happiness.A tear drop away.Donkey! Think of the saddest thing that's ever happened to you! Man, where do I begin? First there was the time that old farmer tried to sell me for some magic beans. Then this fool had a party and he have the guests trying to pin the tail on me. Then they got drunk and start beating me with a stick, going Pinata!! What is a pinata, anyway?! No, Donkey! I need you to cry! Don't go projecting on me. I know you're feeling bad, but you got to... Aaaahhh! You little, hairy, litter-licking sack of... What? Is it on? Is it on? This is Fairy Godmother. I'm either away from my desk or with a client. But if you come by the office, we'll be glad to make you an appointment. Have a happy ever after. Oh... Are you up for a little quest, Donkey? That's more like it! Shrek and Donkey, on

another whirlwind adventure! Ain't no stoppin' us now! Whoo! We're on the move! - Stop, Ogre! I have misjudged you. - Join the club. We've got jackets. On my honor, I am obliged to accompany you until I have saved your life as you have spared me mine. The position of annoying talking animal has already been taken. Let's go, Shrek. Shrek? - Shrek! - Aw, come on, Donkey. Look at him... In his wee little boots. You know, how many cats can wear boots? Honestly. - Let's keep him! - Say what?! Ahh! Listen. He's purring! - Oh, so now it's cute. - Come on, Donkey. Lighten up. Lighten up?! I should lighten up? Look who's telling who to lighten up! Lighten up?! I should lighten up? Look who's telling who to lighten up! Shrek! Shrek? They're both festive, aren't they? What do you think, Harold? Um... Yes, yes. Fine. Fine. Try to at least pretend you're interested in your daughter's wedding ball. Honestly, Lillian, I don't think it matters. How do we know there will even be a ball? Mom. Dad. - Oh, hello, dear. - What's that, Cedric? Right! Coming. Mom, have you seen Shrek? I haven't. You should ask your father. Be sure and use small words, dear. He's a little slow this morning. - Can I help you, Your Majesty? - Ah, yes! Um... Mmm! Exquisite. What do you call this dish? That would be the dog's breakfast, Your Majesty. Ah, yes. Very good, then. Carry on, Cedric. - Dad? Dad, have you seen Shrek? - No, I haven't, dear. I'm sure he just went off to look for a nice... mud hole to cool down in. You know, after your little spat last night. Oh. You heard that, huh? The whole kingdom heard you. I mean, after all, it is in his nature to be... well, a bit of a brute. Him? You know, you didn't exactly roll out the Welcome Wagon. Well, what did you expect? Look at what he's done to you. Shrek loves me for who I am. I would think you'd be happy for me. Darling, I'm just thinking about what's best for you. Maybe you should do the same. No, really? Shh... Oh... Oh, no. That's the old Keebler's place. Let's back away slowly. That's the Fairy Godmother's cottage. She's the largest producer of hexes and potions in the whole kingdom. Then why don't we pop in there for a spell? Ha-ha! Spell! He makes me laugh. Hi. I'm here to see the... The Fairy Godmother. I'm sorry. She is not in. Jerome! Coffee and a Monte Cristo. Now! Yes, Fairy Godmother. Right away. Look, she's not seeing any clients today. OK? That's OK, buddy. We're from the union. The union? We represent the workers in all magical industries, both evil and benign. Oh! Oh, right. Are you feeling at all degraded or oppressed? Uh... a little. We don't even have dental. They don't even have dental. Okay, we'll just have a look around. Oh. By the way. I think it'd be better if the Fairy Godmother didn't know we were here. - Know what I'm saying? Huh? - Huh? Huh? Huh? - Stop it. - Of course. Go right in. A drop of desire. Naughty! A pinch of passion. And just a hint of... lust... Excuse me. Sorry to barge in like this... What in Grimm's name are you doing here? Well, it seems that Fiona's not exactly happy. Oh-ho-ho! And there's some question as to why that is? Well, let's explore that, shall we? Ah. P, P, P... Princess. Cinderella. Here we are. Lived happily ever after.Oh... No ogres! Let's see. Snow White. A handsome prince. Oh, no ogres. Sleeping Beauty. Oh, no ogres! Hansel and Gretel? No! Thumbelina? No. The Golden Bird, the Little Mermaid, Pretty Woman... No, no, no, no, no! You see, ogres don't live happily ever after. All right, look, lady! Don't you point... those dirty green sausages at me! Your Monte Cristo and coffee. Oh! Sorry. Ah... that's okay. We were just leaving. Very sorry to have wasted your time, Miss Godmother. Just... go. Come on, guys. TGlF, eh, buddy? Working hard or hardly working, eh, Mac? Get your fine Corinthian footwear and your cat cheeks out of my face! Man, that stinks! You don't exactly smell like a basket of roses. - Well, one of these has got to help. - I was just concocting this very plan! Already our minds are becoming one. Whoa, whoa. If we need an expert on

licking ourselves, we'll give you a call. Shrek, this is a bad idea. Look. Make yourself useful and go keep watch. Puss, do you think you could get to those on top? No problema, boss. In one of my nine lives, I was the great cat burglar of Santiago de Compostela. Ha-ha-ha-ha! Shrek, are you off your nut? Donkey, keep watch. Keep watch? Yeah, I'll keep watch. I'll watch that wicked witch come and whammy a world of hurt up your backside. I'll laugh, too. I'll be giggling to myself. - What do you see? - Toad Stool Softener? I'm sure a nice BM is the perfect solution for marital problems. - Elfa Seltzer? - Uh-uh. - Hex Lax? - No! Try handsome.Sorry. No handsome. Hey! How about Happily Ever After? Well, what does it do? It says Beauty Divine. In some cultures, donkeys are revered as the wisest of creatures. Especially us talking ones. Donkey! That'll have to do. We've got company. Can we get on with this? Hurry! Nice catch, Donkey! Finally! A good use for your mouth. Come on! You spurn my natural emotions You make me feel like dirt and I'm hurt And if I start a commotion I run the risk of losing you and that's worse Ever fallen in love with someone, ever fallen in love In love with someone, ever fallen in love In love with someone you shouldn't have fallen in love with Ever fallen in love with someone, ever fallen in love In love with someone, ever fallen in love With someone you shouldn't have fallen in love with Fallen in love with Ever fallen in love with someone you shouldn't have fallen in love with I don't care whose fault it is. Just get this place cleaned up! And somebody bring me something deep fried and smothered in chocolate! - Mother! - Charming. Sweetheart. This isn't a good time, pumpkin. Mama's working. Whoa, what happened here? - The ogre, that's what! - What? Where is he, Mom? I shall rend his head from his shoulders! I will smite him where he stands! He will rue the very day he stole my kingdom from me! Oh, put it away, Junior! You're still going to be king. We'll just have to come up with something smarter. Pardon. Um... Everything is accounted for, Fairy Godmother, except for one potion. What? Oh... I do believe we can make this work to our advantage. Happily Ever After Potion. Maximum strength. For you and your true love. If one of you drinks this, you both will be fine. Happiness, comfort and beauty divine.- You both will be fine? - I guess it means it'll affect Fiona, too. Hey, man, this don't feel right. My donkey senses are tingling all over. Drop that jug o' voodoo and let's get out of here. It says, Beauty Divine. How bad can it be? See, you're allergic to that stuff. You'll have a reaction. And if you think that I'll be smearing Vapor Rub over your chest, think again! Boss, just in case there is something wrong with the potion... allow me to take the first sip. It would be an honor to lay my life on the line for you. Oh, no, no. I don't think so. If there'll be any animal testing, I'll do it. That's the best friend's job. Now give me that bottle. How do you feel? I don't feel any different. I look any different? You still look like an ass to me. Maybe it doesn't work on donkeys. - Well, here's to us, Fiona. - Shrek? - You drink that, there's no going back. - I know. - No more wallowing in the mud? - I know. - No more itchy butt crack? - I know! - But you love being an ogre! - I know! I know. Shrek, no! Wait! Got to be... I think you grabbed the Farty Ever After potion. Maybe it's a dud. Or maybe Fiona and I were never meant to be. Or maybe Fiona and I were never meant to be. Uh-oh. What did I tell you? I feel something coming on. I don't want to die. I don't want to die. I don't want to die! Oh, sweet sister, mother of mercy. I'm melting! I'm melting! It's just the rain, Donkey. Oh. Don't worry. Things seem bad because it's dark and rainy and Fiona's father hired a sleazy hitman to whack you. It'll be better in the morning. You'll see... The sun'll come out... Tomorrow Bet your bottom... Bet my bottom? I'm coming, Elizabeth! Donkey? Are you all right? - Hey, boss. Let's shave him. - D-Donkey?

There you are! We missed you at dinner. What is it, darling? Dad... I've been thinking about what you said. And I'm going to set things right. Ah! Excellent! That's my girl. It was a mistake to bring Shrek here. I'm going to go out and find him. And then we'll go back to the swamp where we belong. Fiona, please! Let's not be rash, darling. You can't go anywhere right now. Fiona! Look, I told you he was here. Look at him! Quiet. Look at him. Good morning, sleepyhead. Good morning! We love your kitty! Oh... My head... - Here, I fetched a pail of water. Thanks. Uhh! Aahh! Oh... A cute, button nose? Thick, wavy locks? Taut, round buttocks?! I'm... I'm... - Gorgeous! - I'll say. I'm Jill. What's your name? - Um... Shrek. - Shrek? Wow. Are you from Europe? - You're tense. - I want to rub his shoulders. - I got it covered. - I don't have anything to rub. Get in line. Get in line. - Have you seen my donkey? - Who are you calling donkey? - Donkey? You're a... - A stallion, baby! I can whinny. I can count. Look at me, Shrek! I'm trotting! That's some quality potion. What's in that stuff? Oh, don't take the potion, Mr. Boss, it's very bad.Pah! Warning: Side effects may include burning, itching, oozing, weeping. Not intended for heart patients or those with... nervous disorders.I'm trotting, I'm trotting in place! Yeah! What? Senor? To make the effects of this potion permanent, the drinker must obtain his true love's kiss by midnight.Midnight? Why is it always midnight? - Pick me! I'll be your true love! - I'll be your true love. I'll be true... enough. Look, ladies, I already have a true love. Oh... And take it from me, Boss. You are going to have one satisfied Princess. And let's face it. You are a lot easier on the eyes. Inside you're the same old mean, salty... - Easy. - ...cantankerous, foul, angry ogre you always been. And you're still the same annoying donkey. - Yeah. Well... Look out, Princess. Here comes the new me. First things first. - We need to get you out of those clothes. - Ready? - Ready! - Driver, stop! Oh, God! Help me, please! My racing days are over! I'm blind! Tell the truth. Will I ever play the violin again? You poor creature! ls there anything I can do for you? Well, I guess there is one thing. Take off the powdered wig and step away from your drawers. - Not bad. - Not bad at all. Father? ls everything all right, Father? Thank you, gentlemen! Someday, I will repay you. Unless, of course, I can't find you or if I forget. Oh, yeah Turn and face the strange Ch-Ch-Changes Don't wanna be a richer one Ch-Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes Turn and face the strange Ch-Ch-Changes Just gonna have to be a different man Time may change me But I can't trace time Halt! Tell Princess Fiona her husband, Sir Shrek, is here to see her. Still don't know what I was looking for And my time was running wild, a million dead-end streets Every time I thought I'd got it made It seemed the taste was not so sweet - Ch-Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes Turn and face the strange - Shrek? - Ch-Ch-Changes Don't wanna be a richer one Time may change me But I can't trace time Fiona? Hello, handsome. Shrek! - Princess! - Donkey? Wow! That potion worked on you, too? What potion? Shrek and I took some magic potion. And well... Now, we're sexy! Shrek? For you, baby... I could be. - Yeah, you wish. - Donkey, where is Shrek? He went inside looking for you. Shrek? Fiona! Fiona! You want to dance, pretty boy? Are you going so soon? Don't you want to see your wife? Fiona? Shrek? Aye, Fiona. It is me. What happened to your voice? The potion changed a lot of things, Fiona. But not the way I feel about you. Fiona? - Charming? - Do you think so? Dad. I was so hoping you'd approve. - Um... Who are you? - Mom, it's me, Shrek. I know you never get a second chance at a first impression, but, well, what do you think? Fiona! Fiona! Fiona! - Fiona! - Fiona, Fiona! Ho-ho-ho! Oh, shoot! I don't think they can hear us, pigeon. Don't you think you've already messed her life up enough? I just wanted her to be happy. And now she can be. Oh, sweetheart. She's finally found the prince of her dreams.

But look at me. Look what I've done for her. It's time you stop living in a fairy tale, Shrek. She's a princess, and you're an ogre. That's something no amount of potion will ever change. But... I love her. If you really love her... you'll let her go. Shrek? Senor. What's going on? Where are you going? You wouldn't have had anything to do with this, would you, Harold? People just ain't no good I think that's well understood There you go, boys. Just leave the bottle, Doris. Hey. Why the long face? It was all just a stupid mistake. I never should have rescued her from that tower in the first place. I hate Mondays. I can't believe you'd walk away from the best thing that happened to you. What choice do I have? She loves that pretty boy, Prince Charming. Come on. ls he really that good-looking? Are you kidding? He's gorgeous! He has a face that looks like it was carved by angels. - Oh. He sounds dreamy. - You know... shockingly, this isn't making me feel any better. Look, guys. It's for the best. Mom and Dad approve, and Fiona gets the man she's always dreamed of. Everybody wins. Except for you. I don't get it, Shrek. You love Fiona. Aye. And that's why I have to let her go. Excuse me, is she here? She's, uh... in the back. Oh, hello again. Fairy Godmother. Charming. You'd better have a good reason for dragging us down here, Harold. Well, I'm afraid Fiona isn't really... warming up to Prince Charming. - FYI, not my fault. - No, of course it's not, dear. I mean, how charming can I be when I have to pretend I'm that dreadful ogre? No, no, it's nobody's fault. Perhaps it's best if we just call the whole thing off, okay? - What? - You can't force someone to fall in love! I beg to differ. I do it all the time! Have Fiona drink this and she'll fall in love with the first man she kisses, which will be Charming. - Umm... no. - What did you say? I can't. I won't do it. Oh, yes, you will. lf you remember, I helped you with your happily ever after. And I can take it away just as easily. ls that what you want? ls it? - No. - Good boy. Now, we have to go. I need to do Charming's hair before the ball. He's hopeless. He's all high in the front. He can never get to the back. You need someone to do the back. Oh. Thank you, Mother. Mother? Um... Mary! A talking horse! The ogre! Stop them! Thieves! Bandits! Stop them! The abs are fab and it's gluteus to the maximus here at tonight's Far, Far Away Royal Ball blowout! The coaches are lined up as the cream of the crop pours out of them like Miss Muffet's curds and whey. Everyone who's anyone has turned out to honor Princess Fiona and Prince Shrek. And, oh my, the outfits look gorgeous! Look! Hansel and Gretel! What the heck are the crumbs for? And right behind them, Tom Thumb and Thumbelina! - Oh, aren't they adorable! Here comes Sleeping Beauty! Tired old thing. Who's this? Who's this? Who is this? Oh. It's the one, it's the only... It's the Fairy Godmother! Hello, Far, Far Away! Can I get a whoop whoop? May all your endings be happy and... Well, you know the rest! We'll be right back with the Royal Far, Far Away Ball after these messages. I hate these ball shows. They bore me to tears. Flip over to Wheel Of Torture! I'm not flipping anywhere, sir, until I see Shrek and Fiona. Whizzes on you guys. Hey, mice, pass me a buffalo wing! No, to your left. Your left! - Tonight on Knights... - Now here's a good show! We got a white bronco heading east into the forest. Requesting backup. It's time to teach these madcap mammals their devil may care attitudes just won't fly. Why you grabbing me? Police brutality! I have to talk to Princess Fiona! - We warned you! - Ow! Ow! Did someone let the cat out of the bag? You capitalist pig dogs! - Catnip! - That's not mine. Find Princess Fiona! I'm a donkey! Tell her Shrek... I'm her husband, Shrek! Quick! Rewind it! I'm her husband, Shrek! Ow! Darling? Ah. I thought I might find you here. How about a nice hot cup of tea before the ball? I'm not going. The whole Kingdom's turned out to celebrate your marriage. There's just one problem. That's not my husband. I

mean, look at him. Yes, he is a bit different, but people change for the ones they love. You'd be surprised how much I changed for your mother. Change? He's completely lost his mind! Why not come down to the ball and give him another chance? You might find you like this new Shrek. But it's the old one I fell in love with, Dad. I'd give anything to have him back. Darling. That's mine. Decaf. Otherwise I'm up all night. Thanks. I got to get out of here! I got to get out of here! You can't lock us up like this! Let me go! What about my Miranda rights? You're supposed to say I have the right to remain silent. Nobody said I have the right to remain silent! You have the right to remain silent. What you lack is the capacity. I must hold on before l, too, go totally mad. Shrek? Donkey? Too late. Gingy! Pinocchio! Get us out of here! Oh... Fire in ze hole! Look out below! Quick! Tell a lie! - What should I say? - Anything, but quick! Say something crazy like I'm wearing ladies' underwear!I am wearing ladies' underwear. - Are you? - I most certainly am not! It looks like you most certainly am are! - I am not! - What kind? - It's a thong! - Oww! They're briefs! - Are not. - Are too! - Are not! - Are too! Here we go. Hang tight. Wait, wait, wait! Ow! Ow! Hey, hey, hey! Ow! - Excuse me? - What? Puss! Pardon me, would you mind letting me go? - Sorry, boss. - Quit messing around! We've got to stop that kiss! I thought you was going to let her go. I was, but I can't let them do this to Fiona. Boom! That's what I like to hear. Look who's coming around! It's impossible! We'll never get in. The castle's guarded. There's a moat and everything! Folks, it looks like we're up chocolate creek without a Popsicle stick. - What? - Do you still know the Muffin Man? Well, sure! He's down on Drury Lane. Why? Because we're gonna need flour. Lots and lots of flour. Gingy! Fire up the ovens, Muffin Man! We've got a big order to fill! It's alive! Run, run, run, as fast you can! Go, baby, go! There it is, Mongo! To the castle! No, you great stupid pastry! Come on! Mongo! Down here! Look at the pony! That's right! Follow the pretty pony! Pretty pony wants to play at the castle! Pretty pony. Ladies and gentlemen. Presenting Princess Fiona and her new husband, Prince Shrek. Shrek, what are you doing? I'm just playing the part, Fiona. ls that glitter on your lips? Mm. Cherry flavored. Want to taste? - Ugh! What is with you? - But, Muffin Cake... C Minor, put it in C Minor. Ladies and gentlemen. I'd like to dedicate this song to... Princess Fiona and Prince Shrek. Fiona, my Princess. Will you honor me with a dance? Where have all the good men gone And where are all the gods? Dance! Where's the streetwise Hercules To fight the rising odds? Since when do you dance? Fiona, my dearest,if there's one thing I know, it's that love is full of surprises. Late at night I toss and I turn And I dream of what I need Hit it! I need a hero All right, big fella! Let's crash this party! Man the catapults! Aim! Fire! - Brace yourselves! - Ooh! Purty! Not the gumdrop button! Incoming! Ha-ha! All right! Somewhere after midnight In my wildest fantasy Go, Mongo! Go! Man the cauldrons! After you, Mongo. - That's it! Heave-ho! - Watch out! Shrek! More heat, less foam! Up where the mountains Meet the heavens above Out where the lightning Splits the sea I could swear there is someone Somewhere watching me Heave! Ho! No...! Come on! Look out! - Be good. He needs me! Let me go! Donkey! Puss! Go! Go! Your lady needs you! Go! Today, I repay my debt. Aww... On guard! He's gotta be strong And he's gotta be fast And he's gotta be fresh From the fight - I need a hero - Stop! - Hey, you! Back away from my wife. - Shrek? You couldn't just go back to your swamp and leave well enough alone. - Now! - Pigs und blanket! Pinocchio! Get the wand! I see London! I see France! Whah! I'm a real boy! Ah! Ah! Aaahhh! Catch! Donkey! Oh! I'm a real boy. Aah! Oh! - Ha! - Ah. That's mine! Pray for mercy, from Puss... And Donkey! She's taken the potion! Kiss her now! No! - Hi-ya! - Fiona. - Shrek. Harold! You

were supposed to give her the potion! Well, I guess I gave her the wrong tea. - Mommy! - Mommy? I told you. Ogres don't live happily ever after. Woo! Ha! Oh, Dad! - ls he...? - Yup. He croaked. Harold? Dad? I'd hoped you'd never see me like this. - And he gave you a hard time! - Donkey! No, no, he's right. I'm sorry. To both of you. I only wanted what was best for Fiona. But I can see now... she already has it. Shrek, Fiona... Will you accept an old frog's apologies... and my blessing? Harold? I'm sorry, Lillian. I just wish I could be the man you deserve. You're more that man today than you ever were... warts and all. Boss! The Happily Ever After Potion! Midnight! Fiona. ls this what you want? To be this way forever? - What? - Because if you kiss me now... we can stay like this. You'd do that? - For me? - Yes. I want what any princess wants. To live happily ever after... with the ogre I married. Whatever happens, I must not cry! You cannot make me cry! Whoa! No. No, no. Aaah! Ow. Oh, no. Hey. You still look like a noble steed to me. Now, where were we? Oh! I remember. Hey! Isn't we supposed to be having a fiesta?! Uno, dos, quatro, hit it! Puss and Donkey, y'all... She's into superstitions Black cats and voodoo dolls - Sing it, Puss! - I feel a premonition That girl's gonna make me fall Here we go! She's into new sensations New kicks in the candlelight She's got a new addiction For every day and night She'll make you take your clothes off And go dancing in the rain She'll make you live her crazy life But she'll take away your pain Like a bullet to your brain Upside inside out Living la vida loca Hey gorgeous! Living la vida loca Her lips are devil red And her skin's the color of mocha She will wear you out - Living la vida loca - She livin' it loca! Living la vida loca - Say it one more time now! - Living the vida loca Hey, Donkey, that's Spanish! She'll push and pull you down Living la vida loca She will wear you out Living la vida loca Living la vida loca She'll push and pull you down Living the vida loca Her lips are devil red And her skin's the color of mocha She will wear you out Living la vida loca Living la vida loca Living la vida loca Living la vida loca All by myself All by myself Don't wanna be All by myself anymore... Amigo, we are off to the Kit-Kat Club. Come on, join us. Thanks, compadre. I'm... I'm not in the mood. We will cheer you up! Find you a nice burro! Hey, baby! Hey, that's my girl! Yeah! All right! Baby, where you been? - I'm sorry, too. I should've stayed. But Shrek had this thing he had to do. What? Say it one more time. What you talking about? Are you serious? - Papa! Look at our little mutant babies! I got to get a job. I got to get a job.

Omg

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CC Blogger - New Arrivals @ Collectors Corner : Wednesday 2/17/21

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