#drag that weight
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#when im in a doing anything ever competition and my oponent is the overwhelming suffocating feelings of stupidity and embarrassment i drag#around like a corpse behind me at all times and cant breathe under the weight of ❤️#kora.txt
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really fighting to accept & make peace with the ways i will never find the things i lost, or never again have them in the same way. also trying to be liberated by this
#THE TOWER#i wish i could crawl back inside memories and be held by everyone#& laugh with everyone again#& play the role i played as the person i was#but now it’s like. okay i am without all of this#i am without these people these places etc#we are not friends anymore#some people i loved do not know me anymore#i do not have to drag their dead weight forward i do not have to drag their dead weight forward#i do not have to hold onto the warmth i once felt it is no longer mine#WHAT NOW WHAT NOW WHAT NOW#I WANT TO LIVE AS FULL AS I DID BEFORE I KNEW HOW EASY IT WAS TO LOSE EVERYONE!
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You can never go back! You can never go back! You can bite and scratch and beg but you can never go back!
#my phone says tumblr ate the drawing quality :( I hope not#image quote from jb-blunk on tumblr#post caption by ryebreadgf on tumblr#who up dragging its dead weight forward. I will never let it go. I will never let him go#tf2#team fortress two#team fortress 2#tf2 fanart#tf2 spy#tf2 scout#spy dad#dadspy#tf2 comics#the naked and the dead#tf2 fan art#spydad#tw blood#blood tw#character death
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arthur and john's relationship is built on codependence and working together because there's no other choice, but it's also a lot about arthur projecting onto john. arthur considers himself a failure as a person, but now he has a chance to prove that someone evil can actively choose to be better. he believes that if john can be saved, so can he. if john can be redeemed, so can he. that's why he tries, at every possible turn, to push john to be better. that's also why, whenever john takes a few steps back in progress, it has such an intense effect on arthur. because he wants to save john.
because if he can save john, he'll finally have proven to himself that he can be saved too.
#idk this might be nothing#arthur lester as a character just. really resonates with me in a way no other protagonist ever has lol#he drags himself around like a corpse.#you've heard of characters that live in hells of their own making#but arthur lester lives in a purgatory of his own making#constantly pulling himself upwards even as the weight of his mistakes keep dragging him down#he lives because he believes he does not deserve the peace of death#nor the forgiveness of the universe#hope is all he has. hope and endurence and sheer will to make himself pay for his mistakes.#that's why he is the way he is. moving forward despite everything because what's behind is too painful to face.#...and he has miles to go before he sleeps.#FUCK. IM SO UNWELL ABOUT ARTHUR LESTER.#malevolent podcast#malevolent#malevpod#arthur lester#arthur malevolent#john doe#john malevolent
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#no but fr he is dragging and yeeting his mechanic arm around like it weights nothing#AND HE EVEN MAKES HUGE LEAPS WITH IT#DO YOU GET ME#HE IS FREAKISHLY STRONG#I WANT HIM TO YEET ME AROUND#I WANTHIM TO MANHANDLE ME#CHOKE ME WITH THOSE BEAR PAWS#MAUL ME MAN I AM HERE WILLING AND WAITING#coughIlostitforasecexcuseme#eustass kidd#eustass kid#eustass captain kidd#one piece#shambles posts
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I think the reason that MTMTE remains the most defining, influential, and loved series in the IDW1 run is fundamentally because, despite its many flaws, MTMTE has the power to make you think and wonder about the world beyond what's shown on the page. The character relationships are so strongly developed that it's easy to care about the characters and easy to imagine further adventures they could go on. While the myriad dropped plotlines, underwritten/underutilized characters, and worldbuilding with weird implications are all fucking maddening at times... even if it makes you mad, MTMTE makes you mad because you care and it makes you want to immerse yourself into a world that feels like it's real beyond what's explicitly shown to you on the page. It's a sandbox of a story where there's so much fertile ground for pretty much anyone with any preferred character archetype, storyline, etc to dig in.
It's just... immersive. That's the best way I can put it. It feels like it could be real and it makes you want to spend more time in it than the constraints JRO had. It makes you want to know more about it and come up with theories on how/why things function or happen the way they do. That's why it's loved and that's why it's the best series in IDW1.
#squiggposting#the intense focus on character and heart ties into a post on here that said something like#a story with good characters but a bad plot can still be good bc at least you care about the characters#and a story with a good plot but boring characters sucks because you don't care#and i think that's why like. despite barber having ideas (sometimes storylines) of comparable weight to mtmte his shit isn't as widely read#crossovers aside it's bc barber focuses on plot and The Message to the detriment of individual characters and that's why it's a drag to rea#no time is taken to explore side stories or implications. character relationships are underdeveloped or crammed into the margins#or like there's maybe 3 characters that are developed and one of them is arcee (bless btw that's good shit)#when JRO's writing sucks it makes me go 'he could've done X Y or Z. you know what I feel like writing it myself'#when barber's writing sucks it makes me go 'why did i even bother getting invested in this when nothing matters in canon'#or 'was this written to actively spite me as the reader' or 'this is so stupid i literally don't know how i'd fix it'#unfortunately after like 2 years of coping im forced to admit that MTMTE is indeed the best series in idw1 and there's literally no contest#you can't even call it overrated the way ppl focus exclusively on it bc mtmte literally is as good as ppl say it is. better even
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Leo can be quite oblivious to how his own actions have consequences, often to a comical degree
#I want you to know the second panel is a brutal self drag. that's why it's so specific 💀💀💀#Once again this is a scheduled post because I am currently very busy at work when this goes up LMAO#chubby guy#weight gain#soft feedism#getting fat on purpose#male weight gain#black feedee#male gainer#male feedee#chub art#noodle art#Leo Johnson#my ocs
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