#dr ben song
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Genderqueer transfemme Dr Ben Song asking Ian one too many questions when they came out to the team. Everyone thought he was just new to the concept, but Ian wonders if something resonated.
Ben confiding in Ian in private in the quiet haze of a party, makes them promise not to tell anyone â not until heâs sure. Ian promises. Ben thinks Ian will be too drunk to remember the conversation anyway. Ian remembers, but says nothing.
Ben leaps into a womanâs body for the first time and Ian isnât there. Ian fees guilty about it for days but Ben doesnât remember, just wonders why it felt so right.
Ben leaps into a womanâs body for the second time. Ian is watching closely and Ben seems to be feeling super comfortable in the experience already. Ben is starting to remember.
Ben leaps into a womanâs body for the fourth time and he feels amazing about it. Ian is happy for him but has to pay more attention to Jenn to make sure sheâs okay.
Ben leaps into a womanâs body for the fifth time. This time Ian gets to hologram. They both remember.
âItâs a good look for you.â Ian tells him, with a pointed, gentle smile.
Ben realises that Ian remembers.
#quantum leap#quantum leap reboot#quantum leap 2022#ql spoilers#ian wright#dr ian wright#ian wright ql#dr ben song#Ben song#Ben song QL#QL#QL headcanons#headcanons#fandom#mine
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dr. ben song from quantum leap (2022) is bigender (headcanon)
submitted by @sometimesraven
#dr ben song#ben song#quantum leap#quantum leap 2022#bigender#bigender characters#non binary#nonbinary#nonbinary characters#lgbt#lgbtq#lgbtqia#lgbt+#lgbtq+#lgbtqia+#queer#queer characters#queer headcanons#lgbt characters#submission#ask#sometimesraven#@sometimesraven#your blorbos are queer
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No new Quantum Leap tomorrow BUT I've got a new episode poster for the series premiere: "July 13, 1985". The design is (vaguely) inspired by the poster for Live Aid since the concert takes place on the same date as the episode.
Find the new print along with my prints for âSomebody Up There Likes Benâ, âSalvation Or Bustâ and âO Ye of Little Faithâ at jjlendl.com/shop.
#art#fan art#tv#movies#retro#vintage#design#poster#scifi#quantumleap#quantum leap art#quantum leap#ql#raymond lee#xfilesposterproject#poster art#dr ben song
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Stardate: 202307.28 ⍠I've watched the new Quantum Leap 1st 9 episodes. Love it. Hopefully Sam Beckett makes an appearance later. Oh boy! đđ @scottbakula @raymomomo @caitlinbassett #scottbakula #drsambeckett #sambeckett #raymondlee #drbensong #bensong #caitlinbassett #addisonaugustine #quantumleap #newquantumleap #quantumleapfan #quantumleapfans #quantumleapfandom #quantumleapfanart #fan #art #friday #fridays #fanart #fanartfriday #fanartfridays
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#scott bakula#dr sam beckett#sam beckett#raymond lee#dr ben song#ben song#caitlin bassett#addison augustine#quantum leap#new quantum leap#quantum leap fan#quantum leap fans#quantum leap fandom#quantun leap fanart#fan#art#friday#fridays#fanart#fanart friday#fanart fridays#Instagram
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Currently on episode 5 of the Quantum Leap reboot and I canât wait to see Valentina kick some ass. (Iâm assuming that she is going to end up doing the actual fighting, kind of continuing on the legacy. The townspeople love her and they seem like family and her Abuelo is a gunslinger that has seemingly lost the touch.)
Iâm also worried about this congresswoman and what sheâs doing poking around. It could be nothing but typically if a politician or high ranking member or the military shows up in this kind of show it doesnât mean anything good.
#s watches shows#quantum leap#ben song#dr ben song#I am totally blanking on the otherâs names right now
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ds9 hyperfixation boards because I can :) enjoy
#as the masses ordered (i'm a man of the people)#could not include james bond and lawrence of arabia sadly :(#also happy to link any of the songs here#star trek#ds9#deep space nine#deep space 9#star trek fanart#star trek ds9#star trek deep space nine#julian bashir#star trek art#dr bashir#bashir#ds9 bashir#lt dax#lieutenant dax#jadzia dax#dax#odo#ds9 odo#star trek odo#constable odo#odo ds9#colonel kira#kira ds9#kira star trek#kira nerys#major kira nerys#ben sisko ds9
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Click here for poll masterlist
( Polls will be tagged under: DWGDoctorTravels )
#DWGDoctorTravels#doctor who#dr who#doctor who girlie#classic who#classic doctor who#new who#second doctor#12th doctor#twelfth doctor#clara oswald#bill potts#river song#nardole#polly wright#ben jackson#zoe heriot#victoria waterfield#jamie mccrimmon
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What a first episode and twist was wild!! Canât wait to see how this pans out..
But also, very happy to see Ian got the cool trench coat they wanted. Good for them.
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Spoilers for QL22
Iâm pretty sure at this point the only reason Iâm still watching QL2022 after getting my heart stomped on by the Ben/Addison breakup and the cancellation is Ian. theyâs got me in a chokehold apparently I need to start watching the sandman
#quantum leap#quantum leap reboot#ql22#dr ian wright#ian wright#ben song#addison augustine#mason alexander park
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Song recs at just past 3am
I've decided to make a playlist of music I like to hear at night. (sad/vibey) and that sometimes makes me wish I cried easier.
Here it is
There's a little bit of narrative in how I arranged it if you squint but I got bored while arranging song order.
I'm also making a song recs playlist that contains everything I've recommended previously (under the song recs tag)
Which is here
I'm tired
#song reccomendations#music#youtube#claude debussy#ddlc#team salvato#rem#bĂ´a#ben folds five#the fire theft#jeremy enigk#joji#smashing pumpkins#coldplay#belle and sebastian#foster the people#dr. dog#the main drag#k's choice#the posies#the weepies#djo#my posts haha#lower effort#pts song recs#song recs
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GOD SPIDERVERSE IS SO FUCKING GOOD
#SPOILERS IN THE TAGS SO DONT FUCKING LOOK IF U DONT WANT THEM#EVERY FUCKING FRAME IS GORGEOUS#sorry ben riley fans to they did fuck up ur boy. he kinda deserved it (i. fucking hate the clone saga) but like not that bad lmao#like thats my main problem ben riley was underutilized and just kinda a gag#(his animation style is so fucking cool tho so its a shame)#IM FINE WITH THE SOLID TWO SCENES SPECTACULAR SPIDEY WAS IN THATS ALL I NEEDED FROM HIM#ALSO!!!!!!!!!! PENI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THEY FIXED HER FUCKING DESIGN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11#SP//DR IS AN EVA NOW#THANK FUCKING *GOD*#also the prowler bit at the end was fucking awesome it was so cool#i was trying to figure out why the color pallet w/ that scene w/ rio was weird bc usuallty they're super purposeful with their color choices#and then i noticed. miles hoodie is purple. which is a color almost entirely reserved for prowler.#barely any other character has their main color as purple BUT prowler#so the moment rio didnt know who spiderman was i KNEW#GOD that was such a terrifying reveal#i genuinely FROZE when it looked like he punched miles that was one HELL of an impact frame like holy fucking shit#like actually felt my heart DROP#ALSO. THE FUCKING. THE END CREDITS SCENE.#IT WAS HAND PAINTED ROTOSCOPING I THINK. FOR THE ENTIRE SONG. AT I WHAT I *THINK* WAS 12 FPS.#LIKE I *TIRED* TO THINK OF A WAY IT COULD BE A FILTER BUT NO. NO THAT HAD TO BE DONE BY HAND.#HOLY FUCKING *SHIT* I WAS STUNNED LOOKING AT IT#HUGO;SEROAWOAWOE MY GOD I WOULD WATCH THE MOVIE JUST FOR THE VISUALS LONE#okay actual critiques is its like. SUPER quipy#like super super quippy up until the mid-to-end half#to the point where I was like. maybe. maybe tone down the snark a bit.#but it knew when to stop for dramatic scenes and it never undercut any of the actual heart so i think the latter half redemmed that for me#*redeemed fuck#also i was worried about the like. family and romance drama going on.#but it was well written imo! it didnt bother me too much!#miles and gwen are genuinely cute so i dont mind them bein togethr
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Quantum Leap Season 01 Dr. Ben Song Black Leather Jacket
Product Specifications:
Inspired by: Raymond Lee
Material: Real Leather
Inner: Viscose Lining
Front: Zipper Closure
Collar: Lapel Collar
Color: Black
Pockets: Two Outside and Two Inside Buy This Product at NORTHAMERICANJACKETS.COM
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Qinat Be'eri (A Lamentation for Be'eri) by Yagel Haroush
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Yagel Haroush is a singer, a kamancheh and ney player, a poet, a composer of piyutim (traditional religious songs) and a teacher of Middle Eastern music. After completing his studies at the Jerusalem Academy of Music, Yagel earned a masterâs degree in philosophy at Ben-Gurion University of the Negev, and was awarded the Daoud Al-Kuwaiti Scholarship for musical excellence. Yagel specializes in performing and composing music based on maqam, the Middle Eastern modal system. He studied the Persian form of maqam, known as dastgah, with Prof. Piris Eliyahu and his son Mark Eliyahu, and Arab maqam with Prof. Taiseer Elias. As a child, he absorbed the liturgical poetic tradition of the Moroccan piyut (religious song) at his grandfatherâs home in the southern Israeli city of Dimona, where every Shabbat, a group of paytanim (composers and singers of piyutim) would gather. Later, he delved into the secrets of the baqashot (âsupplicationsâ), a Sephardic mystical singing tradition practiced by Moroccan Jews. Yagelâs ensemble, Shir Yididot, performs original reinterpretations of this tradition that situate the baqashot within the broader context of Middle Eastern mystical song. The group released its debut album in 2016. Yagel is also the founder of the Study Center for Makam and Piyut, where he teaches composition and performance, as well as theoretical performance studies based on Jewish sources â philosophy, Kabbalah and Midrash. He also founded the School of Oriental Music in the Negev in the town of Yeruham, and Kedem, a school for composition in the spirit of maqam in Jerusalem.
Qinat Beâeri was written by Yagel Haroush in the month of MarḼeshban after the massacres on 7 October and disseminated on social media. (The text of the qinah here is as shared on the website Kipa on 7 January 2024.) The initial English translation and notes was shared by Yosef Goldman and Josh Fleet. (These notes were very lightly edited for clarity.) On Tishah bâAv, a second English translation was offered by Dr. Susan Weingarten. âAharon Varady
Eikhah [1]Â â Alas! my well [2] has turned into my grave. And the day of my light [3] has become my darkness And all fruit has been destroyed and my singing overturned. My eyes pour forth water [4] from the depth of my brokenness.
Eikhah â Israel on a day of calling to God. Life was requested but chaos received Elder and infant wallow in blood. [6] His festival desecrated by a merciless enemy. My eyes pour forth water from the depth of my brokenness.
Eikhah â mothers, girls, and young women Taken into captivity as in the days of pogroms And fences were breached righteous sheep And the dancing ceased and the songs of my singers My eyes pour forth water from the depth of my brokenness
And eikhah â I wonder, you who enobled her â How long shall a nation live in upheaval How long shall her stature be brought low to the ground And now, arise to kindle my lamp [7] And from the wellsprings of your mercy heal my brokenness And my eye [8] that pours forth will water Beâeri
The opening word of the Book of Lamentations, â××××â â translated as âalas!â or âhow?!?â â is often used in Jewish poetry of lament â ḳinnot â that memorialize the Jewish people, from the liturgy for mourning the Templeâs destruction to today.
Beâeri means âmy well.â [Beâeri here also refers to Kibbutz Beâeri, the site of one of the massacres that took place on 7 October 2023. â ANV]
A reference to the festival of SimḼat Torah on which the massacres took place. In TaNaKh and Rabbinic literature, Torah is compared to both light and water. âFor the commandment is a lamp, the teaching of Torah is a lightâ (Proverbs 6:23) and âA flowing stream, a fountain of wisdomâ (Proverbs 18:4). Also find Shir haShirim Rabbah 1:2.
"For these do I weep, my eyes flow with tears; far from me is a comforter who might revive my spirit; my children are forlorn, for the foe has prevailedâ (Lamentations 1:16)
i.e. SimḼat Torah.
Find Ezekiel 15:6, âWhen I passed by you and saw you wallowing in your blood, I said to you: âLive despite your bloodââŚâ
It is you who light my lamp; YHVH my eloâah lights up my darknessâ (Psalms 18:29).
Hebrew, ע×× (âayin), means both âspringâ and âeye.â
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Wake Me Up - Part 2
Pairing: Soldier Boy/Ben x F. Reader
Summary: A few weeks after you and Ben celebrate your first Christmas together, Ben is returning from another mission with the Supe Affairs team. When he discovers that youâve been taken, heâll do whatever it takes to find you. And then, to help you heal.
AN: Thank you so much for your lovely responses on Part 1! Last week's angst was very physical. Now let's get into emotional...
Song Inspo: âI Can Read Your Mindâ by the Doobie Brothers.
Word Count: 6.4K
Tags/Warnings: Angst, PSTD, hurt/comfort, medical trauma and injuriesâŚand a bit of Nurse Benjamin? lol
đ Wake Me Up Masterlist || Break Me Down Masterlist
Part 2: âAll in Your Eyesâ
At first, it was all shapeless color.
It felt like a small eternity before your vision cleared, and you dimly became aware of being in a hospital room. Your steady heartbeat clipped away on the monitor.
You had an IV in your hand and wires suction-cupped to your chest. Your raggedy clothes had been replaced with a blue paper gown, hidden under the blankets keeping you warm.
It was a slow process, and it hurt, but you managed to turn your head. You saw a man sitting in the corner with a laptop balanced on his lap. He typed with two fingers at a time, which reminded you of your grandfather. His brown hair fell over his furrowed brows, but his beard was well-trimmed.
His head soon rose, possibly feeling the weight of your gaze. His eyes widened a fraction, and he hastily closed the laptop and set it down on his seat before he went to you. You frowned when he came to sit at your bedside, and even touched your cheek with a gentle hand.
âHey, sweetheart,â he said. His voice was deep and smooth. âHowâre you feeling?â
You didnât have the energy to lean away from his hand, but you did give him a look of weary confusion.
âIâŚI donâtâŚwho are you?â you asked.
His green eyes went blank for a moment. His hand fell from your cheek.Â
Then he chuckled in disbelief.
âEyes are barely open, and already youâre fucking around,â he said.
That confused you even more. You were saved from answering, however, when there came a knock at the door. A blonde young woman peeked in. She brightened with a shocked, but happy smile when she saw you were awake.
âHey! Oh my God, youâre awake,â she whispered in excitement. She went to your bed on the other side and picked up your hand. It took you a moment to remember her name, but you did recognize her.
âA-Annie? WhatâŚwhat happened?â you asked. You didnât recognize the roughness in your own voice.
Annie shared a sobered look with the man sitting beside you, and she looked down at you again.
âOh, hun. What do you remember?â she said.
You tried hard to thinkâŚbut you couldnât. It was all blurry and muddled in your mind.
Then, it was incredibly painful. A sharp, piercing pain that permeated through your skull and rattled down your spine, waking up the rest of your body in the worst of ways.
You whimpered, and the monitor began to beep more incessantly as your heart rate began to climb. You uttered a cry of pain while you held your aching head. You felt the gauze wrapped across your temples, forehead, and under your chin, half-covering your face.
The man turned to Annie with an angry frown.
âGet the goddamn doctor!â he snapped. But he reached for your closest hand and held it gently. He met your tearful eyes. Part of him didnât know quite how to comfort you though. His eyes flit over your pained face, the way you were gripping your head with one hand.
He brushed his thumb over the one he held.
ââŚItâs okay, I got you,â he said eventually. âJust breathe.â
You couldnât respond. There was too much pain, too much confusion. The last thing you saw was the worry in his eyes, before your head fell back against your pillow.
Your world faded away once again.
Dr. Helen Jeong, the neurologist Grace hired specifically to attend you, had been with you for a while. When she came out, Ben, Annie, your mother Marie, your sister Louisa, and the rest of the team (except for Butcher) were in the waiting room. All of them wanted to hear how you were doing, as well as the doctorâs prognosis.
Ben stood with his arms crossed, and Marie and Louisa followed suit. Technically, Marie was your next of kin, considering you and Ben werenât married. She was close to tears again, but Louisa was supporting her.
âSheâll need a few more tests to confirm, but it looks like dissociative amnesia,â said Dr. Jeong. âIt could be selective. Meaning, she remembers parts of her life, but not others, specifically tied to the past few days and the past year.â
âAnd me,â said Ben. He was frowning angrily. âWhy doesnât she remember me?â
She gave him a patient look.
âHer skull is fractured, but sheâs also gone through an emotional trauma, as well as a physical one," she said. "The memories sheâs lost are likely linked to that trauma, and so, her brain is trying to block out anything related to that painful time. Itâs the bodyâs way of coping.â
Somehow, that explanation didnât make it any better. Something dark and unfamiliar had been churning in Benâs gut for days, but now he was forced to reckon with it.
It was guilt, and it was eating at his insides, clawing up to his throat. He covered it up with a hot layer of anger.
âAside from time to heal from her injuries, itâs important that she be taken care of in a familiar, low-stress environment,â said Dr. Jeong. She aimed that last bit at Ben.
âHow long until sheâs better?â Louisa asked. âWill her memories come back at all?â
Ben shot her a dark look for even asking that question, but the doctor bobbed her head.
âIt may take a while. Weeks, or even months, but have patience with her. As she heals, and with therapy, her memories should come back eventually,â she said. She gave Ben in particular a more reassuring glance.
He wasnât interested in being reassured. He wanted results.
The doctor moved on so she could schedule an MRI for you, among other tests. Annie went over and laid a tentative hand on Benâs arm. He glared at her touch and slid his gaze over to her.
âLook, weâre here for herâŚand for you,â she said. Even though she withdrew her hand, she looked sincere. âWhatever she needs, just let us know.â
Hughie was just behind her with a sympathetic look of agreement. M.M., Kimiko, and Frenchie were quietly supportive, if somber. Youâd recognized Annie and Hughie earlier, but the others were strangers to you as wellâlikely because youâd met the other two at Supe Affairs, before you took on one fateful mission that would lead you to Ben. And him to you.
He let out a breath and gave Annie a minimal nod.
She smiled a little, and she and Hughie went back into your room to say goodbye for now. They promised to come back and visit, along with the others.
Meanwhile, Marie and Louisa were talking quietly. Benâs ears perked up to it.
âI think she should come stay with you, Mom, until sheâs better,â Louisa said.
When Ben heard that, he approached them. His darker frown was back in place.
âSheâs coming home with me,â he said, in a tone that boded no argument. He should have remembered that your sister was too much like you sometimes. Fucking stubborn.
âIf she doesnât know you, sheâs not going to be comfortable with you,â Louisa pointed out.
Marie gave her daughter a look, one that said she couldâve had a little more tact there.
âThe best way for her to get her memories back is for her to stay with me, in a familiar place. In her home,â Ben said, his voice terse and shoulders tense.
âBut trying to remember is hurting her,â Louisa said. âShe needs to heal from her injuries first. And oh, how about this? No one will even tell us how the hell this happened in the first place!â
Benâs frown deepened. Your younger sister had been warming up to him a bit more since the Christmas holiday you all spent together last month, but it seemed she was just as protective of you as you were of her.
Fine. Ben understood it, but Louisa was just a college student, not even old enough to order a fucking beer. He wouldnât have this little girl telling him what was best for you.
However, as he glanced at your mother, he also couldnât bring himself to answer Louisaâs non-question. At least, not with the whole truth.
âIt was retaliation,â he replied, âfor a supe we put away a while back.â
Louisa sighed heavily. Her lower lip trembled as tears welled up in her eyes, and she bit her lip and shared a look with her mother.
âWhy did they want her though?â Louisa asked Ben, sniffling.
He held the tremor of unease deep inside, and he thought fast.
âHe had connections in the CIA. She was the only part of the team here at the base, so he singled her out,â he said. The lie rolled off his tongue without much effort, even though part of it did add to the dark churning in his gut. His gaze fell beyond them.
âAll of this is a moot fucking point,â he said. âAll she needs is my blood, and sheâll be just fine.â
Louisa wiped under her wet eyes and scoffed.
âYou think sheâs going to accept a blood transfusion from a supe? Look, Iâm sorry, but sheâs not the person you know right nowââ
âAll the more reason to fix this sack of bullshit,â Ben snapped.
He turned on his heel and headed for your room. By now, Annie, Hughie, and the rest of them had cleared out. You were dozing, it seemed, but your eyes opened when Ben thundered in, followed closely by Marie and Louisa.
âBen,â Louisa warned.
âWhatâs going on?â you asked weakly.
Ben shook his head and went to your bedside. He took up your hand and didnât notice (or ignored) the apprehension in your eyes.
âLook, I know you think you donât know me. Youâve been throughâŚa lot,â he said. He paused when he considered the hell youâd probably endured the past few days. His gut began to roil again, but he pushed forward.
âLast year, you got hurt. Bad enough that you were going to need surgery,â he explained. âBut I gave you some of my blood, and you healed right up. Iâm gonna do the same for you now.â
You saw that he was serious, that he probably believed he was telling the truth. You just didnât know this manâthis supe that theyâd told you was actually Soldier Boy. Instinctively you tried to pull your hand out of his grasp.
âNo thanks,â you said, trying to hide your nerves. âI think Iâm good healing on my own.â
Ben frowned. He held your hand a fraction tighter.
âLookââ
âNo, you look,â you said in frustration, and a frisson of wariness. âI know you think Iâm yourâŚgirlfriend or life partner or whatever the fuck, but I donât know you.â
Just as the words left your lips, something sharp and painful flashed in your skull.
You canât. You canât. You canât.
âBut you do. You fucking know me!â Ben insisted. His grip on your hand tightened enough to make you flinch, a whimper sounding in your throat.
âHey!â Louisa snapped at him.
âBen,â Marie said, more gently, but not without urgency.
He realized what he was doing, and he forced himself to relax his grip. He watched you take your hand back and look at him like he was some kind of animal. He also realized then that you were scared. Scared of him.
Fuck meâŚ
By degrees, he relented. Heaving a sigh, he carded a hand through his hair and gave a short nod.
âAll right,â he said, and he met your eyes. âIâm, uhâŚIâm sorry, sweetheart. Didnât mean to scare you.â
He held your wary gaze until you nodded in acceptance. He took in your face, bruised, and still stained pink from the blood that had been cleaned away with antiseptic wipes. Your neck, arms, and chest were the same; your other wounds were stitched up and bandaged.
According to the first doctor who evaluated you after you came out of emergency surgery (Ben had already forgotten the broadâs name), youâd also sustained broken ribs and a fractured cheekbone, aside from your other injuries.
âAndâŚwhat about the rest of it?â Ben had asked. He spoke alone with the doctor, just outside your room. Marie and Louisa were in there with you now in the ICU.
The doctor shook her head, offering a look of professional reassurance.
âNo. Thereâs no evidence of sexual trauma,â she said.
Ben took that information in with a nod. Inside his chest, however, the clenching around his heart eased a great deal.
But even with that relief, just your battered face, and the way you were looking at him nowâŚit was all too much.
Ben ignored the voice deep inside that said this was what he deserved.
He stood up, and he left you with your family.
While Louisa had to go back to her dorm for school tomorrow, Marie stayed with you that night. You zoned in and out while New Girl played on the little TV on the wall.
Marie caressed your hair gently, though she was mindful of the way most of your head was wrapped after surgery to fix your skull. If only they could fix your mind too.
âThat manâŚâ you trailed. âUm, Soldier Boy. All that crazy shit he was sayingâŚwas it true?â
Marie gave you a look for your use of language, but she nodded gravely, and with sadness.
âYes, Ben was telling the truth,â she said. âHeâs the one who saved you. Believe me, heâs very upset that youâre hurt like this.â
You tried to process that as you frowned in contemplation. Heâd certainly beenâŚpushy. And determined, like he could actually heal you.
It didnât matter though. You werenât about to let a supe feed you his blood like a damn vampire, or whatever Compound V-tainted shit he tried to give you. You werenât Bella Swan, and this wasnât fucking Twilight.
âBenâ was rough, and demanding, and gave off a real assholish exterior. Just before he left, though, you also saw his upset. He had taken in your injuries like he was angry, just at the state of you. Like he was mad that he hadnât been able to prevent it.
âI guess he went home,â you said. Marie shook her head.
âNo, heâs still here.â
Your brows knitted together. âWhat?â
âHeâs in the waiting room downstairs,â she explained. âGrace made sure he had a special pass so he could stay with us in the hospital, just in caseâŚâ
âIn case of what?â you asked. Marie smiled and continued to brush your hair back.
âIn case we need him,â she said. âFor protection, he said.â
Her eyes shone with sadness again, like she knew something you didnât. It made you suspicious, but you were surprised that he was still here, despite what youâd said to him.
âŚHuh, you thought.
Thanks to the (fucking awesome) power of morphine, you fell asleep shortly after.
A week later, you were still recovering in the hospital. The shitty fact of it was, between the medication for your injuries and the risk of pulling your stitches, you could barely move. Dr. Burke was pleased that you at least had feeling in your extremities. One of her main concerns for you had been mobility issues.
Well, you still had to use a bedpan, and sometimes you missed your mouth when you ate pudding, but at least you could feel your feet.
Marie took the whole work week off from her job in order to stay with you. Louisa visited you every day she could after her classes, but she had a recital coming up, and you didnât want her to lose focus. You encouraged her to only come if and when she finished getting in all the practice she needed.
And BenâŚwell, he came often. Mostly when you were sleeping. And every time you woke up, you saw something new from him: a beautiful bouquet of flowers, imported chocolates, a snack from the deli down the street from the hospital, a good breakfast from your favorite cafĂŠ in the city, or even several orders of takeout for you, him, and Marie.
You also noticed how your mother doted on him almost as much as she did on you, offering to grab him cups of coffee, or laying her blanket over him while he napped in the big lounge chair close to your bedside.
The guy just refused to leave. So you didnât say anything about it. You just watched him whenever you were lucid enough to notice he was there.
As it became easier for you to stay awake, and to observe his quiet, but solid presence, the more your wariness of Ben bled away.
You soon began to realize that you were curious about him. If you really had been with him before, how had you two met? And what had made you get with a supe, let alone the original supe Vought ever introduced to America?
You considered him now while he dozed in that uncomfortable looking chair. His brown locks had once again swept over his brows, almost obscuring his eyes. Part of you itched to lean over and brush it all away from his face. If only you were close enough.
You could admit, if just within the safety of your mind, that he was a damn fine specimen of a man. Between the cut of that bearded jaw, the broadness of his arms and chest, the length of those widespread legsâŚ
âKeep staring at me and youâll wear a damn hole in my face,â he muttered.
You inhaled sharply, and his eyes cracked open. A small smirk raised his lips in amusement. You smiled as well, more in embarrassment at being caught.
Ben let out a long breath and rolled the cracks out of his neck, confirming your assumption that the chair was even more uncomfortable than it looked. You felt a bit bad for him, that he was putting himself through all that for your sakeâŚfor someone who didnât remember him.
He turned to you in askance. âHowâre you holding up?â
You shrugged.
âOkay. Pain meds are finally kicking in, at least for the hour.â
He nodded, dragging a hand over his beard. He knew that youâd eaten lunch with your second dose of the day not too long ago.
âYou still hungry?â he asked. âI donât know how they could give you that shit. What was that, some poor fucking excuse for baby food?â
âWhatever it was, it wasnât pleasant,â you agreed, but the doctor had requested something you could easily digest, with all the medication you were on.
Ben shook his head and rocked onto his feet. Heâd get you a candy bar or something. He knew Twix was your favorite.
âUmâŚBen,â you said, halting his steps. He turned to you with a raise of his brows. You pointed over to the folded quilt at the foot of your bed. Your mom had brought it from home.
âWould you give me that blanket over there?â you asked. âIâm a little cold.â
Youâd get it yourself, but it pained you to fold yourself over. Ben was gracious enough to go over and get the blanket for you. He even opened it up and covered your body up to your chest. His face was stoic, more or less, but there was care in his hands. You found yourself staring up at his face. He leaned against the guardrail of your bed and met your eyes.
âThank you,â you said, in a near whisper. âAnd, umâŚmy water?â
You pointed to the plastic cup and jug on the rolling tray to his left. He shot you a look, but he did as you asked, pouring some fresh water into the cup and handing it to you. His fingers brushed with yours on the pass, but you tried not to focus on the warmth of his hand. Instead, you took a few sips from the cup and handed it back to him. He set it back on the tray for you.
âWhatâd I do to get the hot nurse?â you couldnât help but tease.
Benâs brows rose again, somewhat incredulous this time. Then, he was unable to restrain a cocky smile.
âHmm, Iâm a let that one go, since youâre laid up,â he said.Â
His gaze roamed your face. He noted that your purplish bruises were easing up somewhat, to green and yellow. Your lacerations were beginning to heal. And before, where there had been wariness, he now saw curiosity in your eyes.
âCan I ask you something?â you drew enough courage to ask.
His lips twitching to one corner, he lowered the guardrail and sat down on the edge of your bed. He gave you an expectant look. You sucked in a breath to steel yourself.
âHow long have we been aâŚa thing?â you asked, pointing between the both of you.
Ben quirked a brow. âAbout a year now.â
You nodded, though your eyes were wide in surprise. You actually began to blush.
Ben smirked. He reached for the phone in his pocket and handed it over to you, after scrolling to find his photo album.
âDoes that look like we donât know each other?â he asked.
You shot him a wry glance, but you took the phone and started looking through the album. Many of the pictures that featured both of you looked like ones youâd taken, just from the angle. One picture was rather innocuous of him sitting on a couch, presumably watching TV, while you rested on his shoulder and smiled at the camera. His arm was wrapped around your waist.
Another was of you glaring at him in surprise, mid-bite on a large chili hot dog. He wore a Cheshire grin while leaning in close to your cheek.
There were several more than you flipped through, but each one made you sting with the unfamiliarity of it all. You couldnât remember any of this, but it was undeniable what you and Ben were to each other.
Then you happened on a picture of just you, fresh out of the shower with a towel barely wrapped around you. You looked annoyed, but by the evidence of your smile, also amused that heâd surprised you with the picture.
Your blush intensified as you scrolled past that one. Then you encountered more pictures of you and him, each position filled with more bare fleshâand even more compromising than the next. You refused to press play on any of the videos.
âOookay,â you said with a full flush heating your face and neck, and the tips of your ears. You minimized the album and all but tossed the phone back at him.
Benâs smirk had deepened the longer he watched you peruse through the pictures. Now he chuckled and pocketed his phone.
âLike what you see, huh, sweetheart?â he couldnât help but tease.
Frankly, you were adorable, getting all embarrassed, crossing your arms and pulling the blanket up to your neck. You shot him a look of warning.
What, you could eye him like a honey-glazed ham, flirt with him even, but you couldnât take a little on the return side?
Ben chuckled some more and reached for your hand, to uncross your arms. You allowed it with a thinly veiled wariness. You werenât afraid of himâŚanymore. But that didnât mean there was no reason to keep your guard up around this guy.
Meanwhile, Ben actually struggled to figure out what he wanted to say to you. Something that wouldnât put you off, or come off too strong. This was just too fucking strangeâŚ
He met your gaze with a heavy exhale.
âYouâre going to be let out of here soon enough,â he said. âYou donât need to be scared of me. Iâm not gonna hurt you. Matter of fact, I saved you.â
Iâve saved you more times than I can fucking count at this point, he thought wryly.
You stared back at him in contemplation. He sensed you were listening, really trying to hear him.
âYou do care about me, donât you?â you asked, almost in wonder.
Ben didnât answer you right away. Your question took him off guard a bit, but he also found himself meeting your gaze.
âI think thatâs pretty fucking obvious,â he said. You frowned at him then.
âNot entirely," you said. "Not if you donât say it, Romeo.â
Ben stilled. Against his will, he remembered the last real words heâd said to you before this nightmare began.
âI love you,â youâd said. He could hear your pretty smile through the phone. âJust wanted to make sure you knew that.â
âMhmm,â Ben replied, smiling himself. âIâll see you soon, baby doll.â
He could also hear your disappointment, there in your brief silence.
âCome on, say it,â you implored.
Ben restrained a sigh. He cast a subtle look from the corner of his eye, watching Butcher, M.M., and Kimiko loading the car with their weapons, along with the supe theyâd captured. They were all too close for comfort.
âSay what?â Ben asked, feigning ignorance. Your sigh reached him, stinging him.
âYou know exactly what,â you replied.
He knew what you wanted, but he still didnât give it to you.
He didnât allow himself.
Now, he brushed a thumb over the back of your hand, and he sighed. Sometimes, regret weighed just as bad as guilt, even if you couldnât admit to either one.
His gaze now slid up to yours.
âWell, I do⌠I care about you,â Ben said.
Youâre fucking mine, his selfish heart added. He just didnât think youâd react well to that admission.
âWhat do you say about coming home with me?â he asked. âI think being around all your stuff will help youâŚget better.â
You debated his proposition, and you realized his idea made sense. If this man was really your boyfriend, and youâd been living with him for a yearâŚthen maybe you could trust him.
Just not entirely.
âI want my mom to come too,â you said.
Ben smiled. It was a small, but true smile, and it took you by surprise. But you only felt your face getting warm again when he pressed his lips to the back of your hand.Â
âYeah, she can come help me take care of you, âtil youâre feeling better,â he said.
You regarded him for a moment, still wondering if you could trust him. The longer you stared into his eyes, the more you found yourself relenting. Â
âOkay,â you agreed. âIâll go with you.â
After you were finally discharged from the hospital, Ben drove you and Marie out of the city to his apartment in Scarsdale. Technically, it was your apartment too.
He promised that it had been fitted with a much better security system, now with motion cameras around the apartment, and sensors on the roof. (You didnât know that Hughie would have to explain to Ben how all that shit worked on his phone.)
The apartment itself was familiar to you, but it felt fuzzy in your mind. Like you had a dream of being here, living a life that wasnât yours.
Thanks to the stairs, Ben left your bags at the foot of them, before he carefully maneuvered you into his arms without pressing on any of your stitches. You sucked in a shaky breath and held onto his shoulders, squeezing your eyes tight for a moment as the movement jostled your sense of equilibrium.
âYou okay?â he asked. You blinked your eyes open and met his. His brows were furrowed in concern, but it was the intensity of his eyes that stole your breath. Part of you wanted to smile, half out of nerves, but you tempered it.
âPeachy,â you replied.
His lips twitched. He then moved carefully up the stairs.
He set you back down on your feet once he reached the top, at your insistence. Marie came in from behind with her suitcase and your forearm crutch, but Ben still kept a supporting arm around your waist.
âIâve got it,â you told him, a bit nervous and hasty to escape his hold.
He released you, and reluctantly watched you head further into the apartment on your own two feet (and crutch). You wandered into each room like you were looking for a damn portal into Narnia.
It was hard for Ben to watch you like this. With a sigh, he went back downstairs to grab the rest of your things. He set them down in the living room while you ambled off into the guest room. Marie touched his arm in comfort.
âItâll be okay, honey,â she said.
Sheâd developed a soft spot for Ben not too long after meeting him. And though heâd never admitted it, the sentiment was reciprocated.
He didnât answer her, but after a moment, he nodded. She rubbed his arm with a faint smile and went to check on you.
Marie soon found you in the office you and Ben shared. It didnât look like he used this room often, while your desk was covered in papers and files. It did, however, smell like his cologne in here.
Or, well, the scent was masculine and woodsyâlike sandalwood and spice (and a hint of weed, as evidenced from the ashtray on his desk). You had to assume the scent belonged to him, even though you didnât think heâd worn cologne at all in the hospital. Or maybe you just inherently recognized it as his.
Huh. Smell is the strongest sense, you mused to yourself.
The thought of you remembering anything at all from what youâd lost had you the slightest bit excited, and nervous. Dr. Jeong said youâd been through a terrible trauma. The evidence of it now littered your body and had nearly broken you. So you were fairly certain that there were things you didnât want to remember.
The touch of your motherâs hand on your shoulder had you jolting. You breathed in relief when you saw her. Her eyes widened and she held up placating hands.
âOh! Iâm sorry,â she said. âYou okay?â
You nodded, though you continued to take in your surroundings with a small frown. She helped you sit in one of the office chairs, as your strength was already waning.
âIt seems like everything he said was true. Itâs justâŚitâs a lot,â you said.
âOf course it is,â said Marie. âBut if it helps, you seemed very happy here. You were just glowing all night with him at the Christmas party.â
Great, yet another event that was entirely blank in your mind. If you couldnât remember celebrating your favorite holiday, then what was the point? You huffed.
âI just find it hard to believe that Iâd end up with a supe,â you admitted. You worked at Supe Affairs for Godâs sake.
Marie only laughed and rubbed your back.Â
âWell, you found a good one,â she said.Â
A good one, huh? you shook your head in true wonder.
Now that was food for thought.
When you first arrived, Ben had led you to the master bedroom and said it was your room. So why the fuck was he climbing into bed with you?
âExcuse me,â you frowned at him, drawing the blankets closer over your body. You only had on a large shirt over your underwear. It was how you preferred to dress for bed, and it was easier than pulling a pair of shorts over the healing scars on your legs.
Ben had on a gray shirt and some plaid pajama pants. Heâd shucked off his old man loafers before making the right side of the bed dip with his weight. He raised a brow at you.
âWhat?â he asked.
âWhat do you think youâre doing?â you asked.
âGoing to bed, sweetheart. Been a long fucking week,â he retorted.
âI thought this was my bed,â you said.
âItâs our bed,â he corrected. He grabbed the edge of the blanket to pull some of it towards him, but you pulled it tighter against you.
âLook,â you said flatly. âI agreed to come here and stay with you, but I didnât agree to this kind of close quarters.â
Ben stared back at you in annoyance and willed his temper not to snap. So fucking what if he shared the bed with you? It was a California king. The odds of your bodies even touching were slim to none.
However, he saw that stubborn look in your eyes. It was all too familiar.
Christ on a cross. He forgot how goddamn difficult you were in the beginning.
And really, you two were at the beginning, all over again. Heâd gotten you to trust him, slightly, but he knew the rest would take time.
Is this really fucking worth it? came an insidious thought deep inside. The selfish part that had ruled for most of his life.
Then, he spied the silver Rolex on his nightstandâthe one youâd gifted him for Christmas, along with the photo album that youâd put together for him. It included the only pictures he kept of his mother, and new ones youâd made with him. They were pictures youâd collected and captured of your life together so far.
With a deep sigh, Ben wordlessly got out of bed. He grabbed up his pillow and a throw blanket that had slid to the floor, and he made his way to the living room. Marie was taking up the only guest bedroom, so he supposed he was relegated to the couch in his own home. How the fuck did that happen?
He sat down heavily in the middle of the couch and had to take some deep breaths. His head slowly fell into his hands, elbows resting on his knees. With both hands, he tried to rub the exhaustion and frustration from his face.
There were words he couldnât say. However, within the safety of his mind, he was forced to reckon with it.
This was his fault. He knew it, down to his bones.
It was all really his fucking fault.
He shouldâve gotten you a protective security detail from the beginning. He just didnât think anyone would have the balls toâŚ
Ben breathed past the tightness in his chest that was once again clawing at his throat.Â
Well, this fucking blows like a cheap whore, he thought.
And as you might expect, he slept fitfully that night.
The next morning, you winced at the ache in your head that was now customary for you. You had practically drowned in this giant-ass bed, but the reality was, youâd barely slept. You just couldnât get comfortable enough to stay asleep.
You didnât know if it was because it was an unfamiliar place, or because you now had a lower dose of pain meds than youâd been given in the hospital, or if it was because there was just something missing here.
You sighed and hauled yourself out of bed to freshen up. Really, you shouldâve waited for your mother or Ben to help you out of bed, but you werenât used to being incapacitated like this. And even when you were down, it had been ingrained in you (through your fatherâs special brand of âparentingâ) to play through the pain.
So you grabbed your crutch from beside the bed, and somehow you managed to make it to the bathroom by yourself.
After dressing in sweatpants, a bra, and a tank top, you padded out into the hall. Your mom was still sleeping, but you found Ben in the living room.
He was sprawled out across the couch. Half the covers had slipped off his body and pooled on the floor. Again, you tried not to admire the length and broadness of his form, and the way that shirt stretched across his chest and arms.
His arm was curled across his closed eyes, but he lowered it when he heard you approaching.
His eyes were a bit red and bleary. It didnât look like heâd slept very well either. You felt bad for that, as you leaned on the back of the couch to greet him.
âMorning, Sleeping Beauty,â you teased him a little. âYou slept like shit out here, didnât you?â
âWhat was your first damn clue?â he groused. You had a feeling he was grumpy in the morning, regardless of how well he slept.
âOkay, Iâm sorry about that,â you said. Even though you had every right to sleep alone, you still felt bad for making him sleep out here. âHow about I make us some coffee?â
He nodded with a grunt. You smiled and teetered only slightly on your way to the kitchen. Ben frowned as he realized it.
âYou shouldnât be walking around like that yet,â he called after you.
He forced himself to get off the couch, rolling to his feet. You shot him a stubborn look.
âIâm fine,â you said.
Benâs frown deepened with annoyance.
âŚRight. Okay, you werenât exactly fine.
You were still exhausted. Still felt like utter crap, as stiffness pulled at your muscles and pain at your stitches and broken ribs. And, oh yes, your head was still broken.
But, this was the most mobile youâd been in a few weeks. You were determined to do at least one normal, productive thing today. Even if it was just making coffee, then you were going to count that as a win.
By the time Ben joined you, the coffee was done percolating and you handed him a mug. He took a sip before he remembered to tell youâŚno cream.
He looked into the mug in wonder. Youâd actually made his coffee with sugar, no cream. Just like he liked it.
Noticing the look on his face, you paused.
âOh, sorry. I forgot to ask how you take it.â
âNo,â he said, sitting across from you at the breakfast bar. âItâs just right.â
You blinked in surprise, but then you shrugged and sipped at your own cup of coffee, which had both cream and sugar. While you were preoccupied with brainstorming where to order in for breakfast, Ben allowed himself to smile a little.
You were in there, somewhere.
He just needed to help you come out.
AN: See? I promise, there's hope. đ
(But there's also still drama ahead...)
Next Time:
âWeâre not gonna have this discussion again. You need to fucking eat,â he said. âI could feed you, though I promise youâre not gonna like it.â
His surly, frowning face was annoying you. His deep voice was annoying you. His tall, ridiculous wall-of-man body in your line of vision was annoying you, clothed in a rumpled shirt and the sweatpants heâd slept in. Â
Everything about him annoyed you right now.
But that could also have something to do with the pounding ache in the back of your skull, radiating forward and between your eyes.
âBro, Iâm on like, three kinds of medication,â you replied in weary irritation. âWith what appetite do you expect me to eat?â
Bro? His eyebrow twitched.
âśď¸ Keep Reading: PART 3
Ko-Fi Me â
Break Me Down Masterlist
Soldier Boy Masterlist
Main Masterlist
BMD/Series Tag List (Part 1):
@deans-spinster-witch @this-is-me19 @waynes-multiverse @samanddeaninatrenchcoat @spalady26
@spnwoman @syrma-sensei @wirdbeimaufhebengebunden @muhahaha303 @123passwort
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@tearsfortheyouth @agalliasi @chriszgirl92 @kazsrm67 @deansbbyx
#Wake Me Up#Part 2#All in Your Eyes#soldier boy#soldier boy x reader#soldier boy/ben#soldier boy x you#soldier boy x female reader#Soldier Boy/Ben#the boys#the boys AU#the boys season 3#the boys amazon#soldier boy fanfiction#the boys fanfiction#jensen ackles characters#jensen ackles#Break Me Down#BMD-verse#annie january#hughie campbell#the boys x reader#zepskies writes
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The character names in Kataow are amazing because first, you have Kipoâ lovely name, love how it sounds, and Iâm it has some amazing meanings that tie in to Kipo as a character.Â
Then you have Wolf. You never learn her previous name, but Kipo calls her Wolf (full name: Wolfatha Christie the Fourth) and Wolf accepts it. She never asks people to stop calling her that. Itâs a perfect name for Wolf.
Youâve got Benson. I havenât met many Bensons (usually, just âBenâ) but it sounds familiar and nice. Benson is a nice guy. A good friend.
Mandu is a blue four-eyed and six-legged pig, named after the dumplings Kipoâs dad used to make. Itâs a little odd but hey, mute pigâ and it has sentimental meaning to Kipoâ so it fits Mandu perfectly.
Youâve got Kipoâs family Lio (not an uncommon name) and Song (beautiful name) and Hugoâ they all fit well with Kipo.Â
Hugo later takes the name Scarlemagneâ a play on âScarâ and Charlemagneâ. Thatâs so clever!Â
Thereâs also Jamack, Troy, Dr Emilia (sounds like a normal human name, but still cool for an antagonist), and may we not forget Yumyan Hammerpaw.Â
And then you haveâŚÂ Dave. Just Dave. Dave the Bug. Dave the metamorphosing bug mute. This is so hilarious, itâs perfect.
#kipo and the age of wonderbeasts#kataow#kipo#kipo dave#Dave the bug#Iâve nearly finished that Kipo oneshot#Kipo oak#kipo wolf#Wolfatha Christie the Fourth#Benson Mekler#Kipo Benson#Hugo oak#scarlemagne#Tag more later#DAVE
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