#down to the drawings the story of giving away his truck to a random girl the always worrying about others before him the 'wise' nickname???

[sophie0197]

thinking bout how my mtbi is INFP and my gf's ENFJ and we love byler hehe

[mcwritingblog]

Immortal: Chapter 1

A Girl and Her Cat

Pairing: Javier Pena x reader

Summary: A small town barista meets a handsome Javi.

Rating: G

Author’s note: Hey guys I'm sorry this doesn't have a lot of Javier in it, its really a big set up chapter for the story.

Word count: 2k

1975, a random fall Tuesday 

I don't know how it even happened, or how I met him. At the time I was living in a small town in Columbia run by Americans, keeping to myself, not drawing any attention to myself. He walked into my cafe and got a small black coffee. He stayed a while, reading his small novel.  

“Hi there, stranger, I got your coffee”, you said as you set down his drink. “Anything else?”

“No ma’am. Thank you”

“No problem”, you went to turn away but you had to know, “Um, hey?”

“Yes?”

“You've come in before.  What's your name?”

“Javier”

“Javier. I'm y/n. Let me know if you need anything. Maybe next time you could try a latte”, he lets out a snort. You go back to cleaning. It was extremely slow today so you got the go-ahead from your boss to close up early. 

“Miss?”

You turned around and saw Javier leaning up against his truck with a smile. 

You grasp your chest. “You scared me. I didn't notice you there.”

“Were you about to walk home?”

“Yes”

“Would you mind a ride?”

“My apartment isn't that far from here, but thank you I appreciate it.”

“Anytime.”

And like that, you were walking home, enjoying the weather. It was chilly and the leaves were falling beside you everywhere. You didn't mind the ten-minute walk to your apartment. You don't even get in the door before your cat starts meowing at you. 

“Avery, give me one moment. I'll feed you I promise.”. You love the hell out of the black cat but the girl is so needy.

You flick off your shoes by the front door, bending down to pet Avery. You walked past her to shake some food into her bowl. With how she rushes to it, you'd think she never got fed. Silly girl. You walk over to the couch and lay out, grabbing the blanket to get comfortable, a few moments pass and your cat hops up to snuggle up to you. You flip on your tv to find something to have in the background and settle on Hawaii Five O. There's something about cops that attracts you so much. You find yourself falling asleep, Avery radiating heat on your stomach. 

---

You were woken up the next morning by your alarm clock; another day, another dollar. You were on second shift today so you didn't have to be in until 11. You got up and made yourself toast and eggs, making sure fatso had her food too. 

“Pretty girl”, you say scratching her chin and heading towards the door, adding an “I’ll be back later. Byeee”

The walk to the shop today was extra nice. You can smell the aroma of a pumpkin pie as you pass the houses in your neighborhood and hear the sounds of children playing outside. The giggles brought life to the quiet afternoon. As you come closer to the city, the more you hear the sounds of cars passing and smells of bread being baked at the bakery down the street. The bakers wave at you as you pass the front window. You hold up two fingers, gesturing back. Two shops down is Mrs. Rivera trying to hang up plants, struggling to steady herself, AND the hanging ivy pot.

“Here let me help you.”, you say as you come behind her and catch the pot, succeeding in hanging it up on her awning.

“Thank you, sweetheart!”, she says as she wipes her hands on her apron.

“No problem. I have to get going but come by for a latte?”, you ask.

“Yeah. I’ll see you” 

And with that, you were back to it. Half a block down and you come to the shop's front door. It dings as you enter.

“You're late”, your boss, Maria, gets on to you.

“Mrs. Rivera needed help again.”

“Uh-huh. Get your butt back there”, she snorts. She's not mad. Thank god.

“Been busy today?”You ask about taking off your backpack and hanging it up. The shop was basically vacant. The only customer you could see was a college kid studying in the corner. You walk around to pick up mugs and empty plates from various tables.

“Not really. The usuals mostly… Oh! A guy was asking about you! He asked if I knew if you got home safe?”, she asked, confused.

“Ah yes, Javier. He offered to take me home last night.”, you say while walking the dirty dishes to the back.

“He’s cute. You should get in there, girl”, she yells to you. “In there?”, you come around the corner and scoff, “I'm not that interested in dating right now.”

“You should. You can't just spend all your free time with your cat and nonexistent characters in your books.”

“Can.” You point out “And will” 

“You're only 24, do you really wanna throw away that opportunity?”

You could only muster up an eye roll.

----

The rest of the shift went off without a problem. Maria went home shortly after her talk with you. The next few hours included a couple of customers but mostly some cleaning. Mrs. Rivera actually came to see you, even getting a hot chocolate for her grandson when she got her latte. You hold a conversation with her for a while, talking about her daughter’s new job at the school. Maria said something about that a couple of weeks ago. The rest of the regulars got their usual drinks, only sticking around long enough for their drinks. The clock soon hits 7 pm.

“Another tea?”, you ask the college student in the corner. He’s been here for your whole shift and has gotten two hot green teas with sugar.

“No ma’am. I'm about to leave but I appreciate it.”

‘Alright. Don't be a stranger”, you say, taking his cup and saucer to the back to clean it off. You place it in the strainer to left it air dry. As you are in the back, the customer packed up and left, leaving the shop empty.

You walk past every table, wiping it down and stacking chairs on top, then grabbing the broom. You quite enjoy the quiet chill night, humming a simple tune. The night offers an array of noises through the open door: Grasshoppers chirping and the soft whistle of the breeze. You finish sweeping and put up the broom. “The tips were pretty good today”, you think, pushing the money into your pocket, removing your apron, locking up, and heading home.

----

You had Thursday off and planned to spend it accordingly. You slept until you couldn't anymore, got up, and fed Avery, offering extra pets to the needy cat. She snuggles up to you on the couch, laying in the space in front of your stomach. Your newest interest? Murder mysteries. So you are relaxing on the couch reading Agatha Christie’s Death on the Nile. 

You get pretty far into the book before hearing a knock at your door. Weird. Then walk to unlatch the door, swinging it open.

“Uh... hello?”, you questioned the man in front of you. He’s standing there with his hand to the back of his neck, looking nervous

“Hi. Umm, I'm new to building. I live across the hall. I’m Anthony”, he reaches his hand out. You take his hand and shake it.

��Y/N”, you respond, smiling.

“Nice to meet you, Y/N”

“Would you like to come in for some coffee? I just put on a fresh pot”, you invite.

“Yeah, that sounds nice.”, his face sparks up in happiness. He takes your invitation and walks into your apartment, you close the door behind him.

‘Wow. Nice apartment. How long have you been living here?”

“Eh, a while”. Boy, you have NO idea.

He sits down at your dinner table and you bring over two coffee mugs.

“Cream? Sugar?”, you ask.

“Yes. Both please”, he responds and you hand him the containers of cream and sugar.

“Just moved here?”

“Yeah. From Arizona. The owner told me that you're one of the only Americans renting here. Thought I might come by and say hello.”

“Arizona, huh?”

“Yeah. I used to live in Georgia when I was a young girl but I’ve been around the world a lot. Been a while since I’ve been in the United States”, you drift off for a second but reel it in. “ Where in Arizona are you from?”

“Tucson. Wasn’t a bad place to live but I went to college for a major in the Spanish language. I wanted to visit places where I could hear the different dialects and see the different cultures. Thus, I am in Columbia.”

“Ah, you see I just wanted to see the world. I’ve been almost everywhere”

‘What was your favorite place to visit?”, he asks, fully focused on the conversation and not realizing Avery’s furry body rubbing against his shins. She meows. “Oh, well, hello there pretty girl. What’s your name?”. He reaches down to pet her back.

“That’s Avery. But back to your question, I was living in Greece for a while and I just adored the blue waters and sandy beaches.”

He takes a sip of his coffee and asks, “So what brought you here?”

“Need a change of scene. I had a friend who lived here but she passed away a couple of years ago”, you reply back nonchalantly, shrugging your shoulders.

“Oh, im so sorry to hear that. Not too pry but we’re you close?”

“Yeah, We knew each other for a while.”

“How’d she die?”, he asks further

“Old age”, you let slip.

“Old age? he responds surprised.

“Uh... yeah. A family friend.”, you try to make up a better story to keep suspicion off of you.

That conversation kind of ended before it started, instead opting for a conversation about Anthony’s studies in places like Cuba and Spain. The talk circled around to different places you’ve visited, Rome being a topic that seemed to trail on and on. The sun outside seems to start to set.

“I’ve got to get going but it was nice to meet you, Y’N”

“You too, Anthony. Let me know if you need a cup of sugar or anything”, you say following him towards your door. He steps through and across the hallway to his front door. When he shuts his door, you follow suit. You turn around and you can feel Avery’s judging eyes on you.

“I know, I almost blew my cover”, you tell your feline friend. She meows.

-----

You weren't wrong when you told Anthony you’ve been living in Columbia for a while. The problem is his definition and your definition of “a while” were completely different. The truth is you lived in Columbia for 40 years and in this town for about 20. You didn’t age. The only person who could possibly know is Mrs. Rivera but she is very good at minding her own business. You were one of the only ones who came to her husband’s funeral a year ago. You’re practically family. The town’s oldest residents have passed and the owners of the apartments change every couple of years. The rent is paid in cash and the tenets come and go. Every couple of decades you move to another small town in another country. 

You lived a normal life but you didn’t know your parents. You lived in the orphanage until you were 18. It was then you took up a job, reading in your spare time, and traveling when you could. You didn’t even realize your immortality until you were 40 looking 20. And then 50 looking 20. You did try to date but soon came to realize that you’d outlive them, leaving a trail of broken hearts. You were pretty sure you were incapable of love. 80 years old and not prepared for what happened next.

Javier Pena was about to change your life.

[skyllion-oc-archive]

Day 1: Journey

AN: This takes place before the events of Hit and Run in this Mundane World! (an isekai parody where a dude named Shiko Fujita dies in an isekai world called Phitania so he has to redeem himself by hitting people with a truck to send them there). It's about a week after Shiko was sent to Phitania, which is about three years before the story itself. I saw the prompt and immediately went "Oh duh, Shiko had a typical shonen isekai experience" so here we go!

Following the prompt list created by @oc-growth-and-development. Today's prompt is Journey. Enjoy!

~~~

Shiko Fujita is very glad he had died.

Wait, that was a bad way of putting it. At the moment he thought he had, but he had been wrong.

No, Shiko is very glad he had been hit by that random truck while crossing the street. At the time, everything had been falling apart. He had been rejected by a girl, he was failing school, he realized he didn’t secretly have magic powers, and he didn’t have any friends to even listen to him, so getting hit with a truck had been the cherry on top of the sundae. He could still feel it. The moment his body went flying through the air, pain radiating through his body, gasps from the people around him, the impending fall, shutting his eyes-

Well, he’s here now. No need to ruminate on it. He turns away from the mirror and walks out of his room, black cape fluttering after him.

Alina is casually leaning on a chaise, waiting for him. “We’re going on a quest, not to a ball.”

He flashes a smile at her. “Maybe we can go to one after we win.”

She gives a stilted smile and sits up. “Sure.”

Shiko runs to catch up to her as she nearly makes it to the other side of the hall. “So we need to find this Demon Lord, right?”

“We’ve only been talking about this for several days,” she sighs. “I guess I shouldn’t expect you to remember it all.”

Shiko frowns. He was never much into tsunderes, but he could manage them. Eventually she would warm up to him along the journey and then they would kiss, and he could have the beautiful elf princess. He knows how these types of manga always end.

They enter the court room, the King already there with his advisor. He looks down at both of them from the tall, silver throne with warm eyes.

“Alina, Shiko, you two have finally decided to arrive,” he says, his voice stern with a hint of teasing slipping through.

“I’m sorry, father. Fujita was held up.” Alina gives him a pointed glare as she says this.

Shiko shrugs it off. “Where is the Demon Lord, my king?”

The advisor unrolls a large map and points to the center of Phitania.

“We currently think he’s hiding out here,” the King explains. “There’s a few paths you can take-”

“Give me the toughest one,” Shiko interrupts.

Alina gapes at him, but Shiko isn’t paying attention to her right now.

The King taps his chin. “The most difficult one?”

“Of course. I can handle it.”

“We’re a team, and I say-”

“Are you worried about being hurt? I can protect you.”

She sighs. “Father, don’t listen to him. If we take the one with the most cover-”

“Worry not, Alina. I can protect you from whatever we encounter.”

She opens her mouth to protest, but the King laughs. “I believe you, Shiko. You are the fabled hero, after all. Isn’t he, Alina?”

Alina closes her mouth and nods. “Right.” She turns back to Shiko. “We can talk about this later.”

The King continues as if there had been no interruption. “To leave, you’ll need to go over the mountains to the east…”

Shiko nods along, making noises of agreement as the King lays out the plan. Go over the mountains, make their way through the desert, slash through the jungle, and finally make it to the heart of the volcanic ruins. Easy.

“Thank you, Sun King. I shall emerge victorious,” Shiko promises.

The King smiles warmly. “Good luck, heroes. May you free the land from the grasp of the Demon Lord.”

“Thank you, father.” Alina turns away and gestures for Shiko to follow.

As soon as the two are out of ear shot, she elbows him.

“Ow!” Shiko grabs his arm and hisses at her. “What was that for?”

“Are you an idiot? We could die, Fujita.”

He shrugs. “Hey, it’s not a quest without a little danger, right? Besides, I’ve played plenty of video games.”

She groans and smacks her head. “I have no idea why my father instituted you as the leader of this party when I’m plenty more qualified.”

“I’m destined for greatness.” Shiko steps out of the back doors and gazes towards the mountains. Their first checkpoint was only 100 kilometers away, but they were walking on foot.

Alina points towards the woods. “If we go off the trail, we’ll get there sooner, but there’s a few low forces out there.”

“Good. Then I can get some experience.” Shiko immediately heads off to the woods.

Alina follows, keeping her distance. “I thought you said you played video games.”

“They’ll help, but it’s like playing the same game on a different console. You know the basics, but it’ll take some getting used to with a new controller.”

“Mhm.”

The walk is completely silent as they march further in. The treetops begin to blot out the sky, only letting a few godrays slip in. Shiko squints to see further, but the path still appears to be clear. Despite no danger being present, Alina keeps touching the sword to her side.

“You have nothing to worry about,” Shiko says. “Nothing’s happened yet-”

Just as the words leave his mouth, the bushes rustle. He freezes, while Alina quickens her pace and continues walking.

“There’s something here!” Shiko yells.

“Yeah, and if you ignore it, nothing happens,” Alina says calmly, her voice fading with every step.

Ah. A chance to farm for EXP then. Shiko kicks the bush, sending leaves scattering upwards. He watches them fly up before slowly settling onto the ground. He waits a few moments. Nothing. He kicks it more gently this time. Nothing. One more small nudge. Nothing.

Shiko turns around and takes a few steps before he suddenly trips. “Gah!”

He splats down onto the ground, taking in a mouth full of dirt before spitting it out. He sits back up and quickly assesses his surroundings. Of course. Slimes were always the first enemy you encounter, and he had come across an entire swarm of them.

“Alina!” Shiko yells out.

The slimes quickly move, as if suddenly unfrozen, and begin to attack him. Well, bumping into him is a much more accurate description. It’s more ticklish than anything, but they won’t let up. He tries grabbing them, but they slip out from his fingers and make high-pitched chirps at him.

“Calm down, calm down, I’m leaving,” Shiko says more quietly. “See?”

The slimes pause long enough for him to make his first move.

Shiko draws his sword and slashes through the closest slime. A rush of adrenaline courses through him as the slime splits in half like he had just taken a hot knife to butter. It squeals before suddenly cutting off, and the other slimes quickly move back away from him.

As the slime slides onto the ground and disintegrates, he can almost feel his body growing stronger. Wow, his first enemy, and he’s already won. This quest was going to be a breeze.

He lets himself smile as he sprints towards the next one, sword raised over head and ready to come down.

[janicho88]

Fire, Fur & Mistletoe  Chapter 4

 Pairing- Eventual Dean x Female Reader.

Word Count-3,045

Warning- Mentions of car accidents.  Possible swearing. Slight angst. Fluff.

Summary- A rewrite of the Nine Lives of Christmas, Hallmark movie. AU, Dean is a firefighter who doesn’t do commitment, the Holiday’s don’t mean much to him.  Coming home after a shift he finds a dog in trouble.  The reader is a veterinary student who works in a coffee shop trying to make it to graduation, until someone causes problems there for her.  She isn’t interested in finding anyone other than her own dog until after she finishes school.  Do their four legged friends have other plans?

A/N- This series is written for @spnchristmasbingo​.  The square filled for this chapter is presents.  The first two chapters will stay closer to the movie than the rest will.   This has its own tag list and it is open.  That way I am not tagging anyone who doesn’t want to be tagged in Christmas stories.   This story is unbeta’d.

Header by the amazing @winchest09

Divider from freepngimg.com

Series Masterlist   The next morning you were in the kitchen looking through ads when Dean came down.  “I was wondering what do you think about doing our Christmas shopping together?  I thought it would be fun to tackle the stores together?”

“I usually just do Visa gift cards, or regular gift cards.”

“Do you remember how you were saying you can’t recall the last time you really enjoyed Christmas?”

“Yeah, you really think going to the mall is going to help me feel..”  He paused looking at you with a smirk, “Christmassy?”

“I think going and seeing all the festive decorations could help.  One afternoon, we can make it fun, I promise.”

“I’m holding you to that.”

“So you’ll go?”

“Yeah, we can give it a shot.”

“I’m going to help you do it right this year.  We can go to the mall after your shift tomorrow.”

“I can hardly wait,” he grumbles as you leave the kitchen. 

Dean’s shift started earlier today, he headed in just before noon.  They started off busy before things slowed down.  They were called out for two car accidents, the light snow falling today causing some problems.  Dispatch also had them at two nursing homes.  The first resident was fine and back on their feet before they and the paramedics left.  The second was a fall and the poor guy wasn’t happy about having to go to the hospital to be checked out further.

When things calmed down later Dean was sitting in the common room with Sam and Benny. Those two watching the game, Dean going through paint samples.

“What are you trying to figure out now?”  Sam wanted to know.

“Which color is going to look best in the dining room. I picked up some new color swatches on the way in.  I have a light green, pale blue, a really light grey, or a cream.”

“Which one does the design genius living with you like?” Benny questioned.

“She thought maybe a light green would go with the trim in there.”

“I’d go with what she likes so you don’t have to redo it in a year or so.”

“What’s being redone in a year?”  Bobby asked walking in.

“I hope to have sold it by then.”

“Dean’s trying to pick a paint color, we told him to go with what Y/N picked so he wouldn’t have to redo it later when everything is all done and she doesn’t like it.”

“Yep, need to keep the women happy.”  Bobby agrees.

“How’s the girlfriend doing while we are on that subject?”  His brother wanted to know.

“You’ve all lost me. Still don’t have a girlfriend.”

“Are you sure about that Chief?  You do spend a lot of time with her.  You trust her opinion to remodel your house.”

“What was your excuse earlier about not going out with us tomorrow?  Oh right you have plans with Y/N, like a date.”

“What was going on the other day when you couldn’t come over and watch the game with me and your brother? Pretty sure you were with her again.”

“How many dates are you going to have before you realize you are dating?”

“Are you two morons done?  We aren’t dating.  I trust her opinion, because she’s good at this.  Still selling the house when I’m done.  She just wanted to get a tree for the house, so we picked one up and decorated it that night.”

“It really took you a couple hours to pick up a tree, did you carry it home.”

“No, we went to a tree farm, not a tree lot.”

“Hold up.  You actually went and cut down a tree for her?  You wouldn’t do that for me. We always went to the tree lot and just grabbed one.  You are more gone on this girl than you think.”

“You are reading too much into a simple tree, Sam.”

“What are you busy doing when the shifts over?”  Benny wanted to know.

“Apparently Christmas shopping.  She thinks it will be fun to do it together.”

“You, Dean Winchester are going Christmas shopping?”

“Why are you saying it like that?”

“I wasn’t sure you knew what a mall was, I’ve been getting a gift certificate from you for years now.”

“And I’ve had enough of this conversation, I’m going to go clean the truck or something.”

Dean walked out to the sound of the guy's laughter.

When his shift ended the next day Dean headed home to shower and change so he would be ready to head to the mall with you.  You were in the living room sitting with the dogs when he came down.

“I’m ready if you are.”

“I’m good to go.  I’ll see you babies later.”  Giving the dogs each a little hug you got up to follow Dean to the truck.

As you are entering the mall Dean turns to you.  “I realized I haven’t told you lately, thanks for your help with the house.  I might just be able to sell it sooner than I thought.  I really appreciate all you have been doing.”

That caught you off guard.  “Oh yeah, no problem.”  You had gotten wrapped up in staying with him you kind of forgot it was temporary, and that wasn’t really his home.

“That’s really great.  You didn’t just fix a house this time, you created a beautiful home.  Some family is going to be incredibly lucky.”

Dean nods, sneaking a glance at you, “Yeah they are.”

“Alright, who’s on your list?” You were eager to change the subject.

“My brother and his girlfriend, Jess.  Bobby, he’s the Fire Chief.  Cas and Benny, you met all them at the station when you found Miracle.”

“Okay.  Any ideas on what to get?”

“Gift cards.”

“No.”

“Then I don't know.”

“You’re helpful.  What is your brother’s girlfriend like, what kind of things does she like?”

“Um, she’s a nurse.  She likes my brother.  I think she likes the beach.”  This might be harder than you thought. 

“What about any of the guys?”  

“Sam likes Jess, and healthy crap like green shakes. He’s always bringing some into work. Benny wants a girlfriend.   Cas, who knows.  He’s a little different some days.  He does like to sit and think, and bees. He’s a tad obsessed with them.  Chief likes, um his job, family, Miracle.”

“Okay, so where do you want to start?”

“That store sells gift cards to multiple places.”  He points to a big store behind you. 

“The next time you’re at work I’m going to paint the living room hot pink if you mention gift cards again in the next hour.”

Dean starts to open his mouth but isn’t too sure how serious you are, so he shuts it again and rethinks what he wants to say.  “What do you need to get?”  He asks instead.

“A gift for my sister and brother-in-law, then a few friends.  I have a thought for your brother if you want to hear it?”

“Sure, what are you thinking?

“The bookstore might have a recipe book for different health drinks, maybe we can find a little smoothie maker so he could make them fresh at the station instead of bringing and storing them.” 

Dean thinks about if for a minute, “He would actually probably like that, although I hate to enable his bad habit.”

Laughing at his jab at his brother you head toward your destination.

The book store is your first stop, while there you browse through the shelves to see if anything else catches your eye.   Finding a book, The Buzz about Bees, you show it to Dean who puts it in the cart for Cas. As you were heading to the check out, Dean started laughing at a book which caught his eye.

“What’s so funny?”

“I have to get this for Bobby, it’s Tori Spelling's autobiography.”

“Um, okay. That’s a random gift.”

“Bobby is a closet fan.  Big fan actually.  Not very many people know.”

“I’m sure he’ll be thrilled.”  Maybe you should have let him get his boss a gift card.

At the sporting goods store he found some fishing gear for Benny who likes to spend time on his sometimes girlfriend boat.  Dean figured they were due to get back together soon. 

While there you found part of your sister's gift.  You got her an extra magazine for her off duty gun, and a new cleaning kit.  The woman loved her weapons. 

Heading to the next store you came across some Santa hats and antlers you made Dean try on with you and take some selfies.  He grumbled about it at first but he did seem to have fun with it, making silly faces in the photos. 

With your hands full you took what you had out to the truck so you didn’t have to carry it to the rest of the stores.  The fishing gear was a little big to lug around.

Coming back inside Dean suggested a quick stop at the food court for a snack before hitting more stores.  

You grabbed your drinks of choice and a couple of cookies and sat down for a few minutes. Dean was complaining because none of them sold pie.  The mall was starting to get busier and people were hustling everywhere.  

“Do you enjoy shopping and all this craziness?”  Dean asked, drawing your attention away from people watching.

“Generally no.  I’m a get in get out person.  My sister and I used to try and go together, but she’s busier with work and she has Doug to go with.  I’m used to doing most things on my own now.   It’s better if you have someone with you, which is why I thought we could have fun with it.”

“I will admit, this hasn’t been as bad as I thought it would be.  You did make it fun. Thank you for that.”

“No problem,” you give him a small smile and go back to drinking your coffee. 

The next stop was the pet store for some treats for your favorite four legged friends.  You passed stockings on the way in and went to pick one up.

“Dakota needs a new stocking, does Miracle have one yet?”

“No, he doesn’t have a stocking.  I don’t think I even have one.”

“Well, we need to remedy that for the both of you.”

“Of course we do.”

There weren’t many stockings left.  They were on one side of a middle aisle display, the back side had various balls and kongs.  The few stockings that  were there were on the back of a shelf behind some toys.  You had to move the toys out of your way to pick through the stockings.  With one arm full of squeaking toys you used one hand to look at the stockings.

“Do you need help?”

“No, I’m good.”

“Uh huh.”

You found two white and red stockings you liked so you were pulling them out, when your elbow hit a toy still on the shelf, trying to use your arm to keep it up on the shelf you missed the toy and hit the display instead.  Apparently you used more force than you meant because the display you were looking at tipped backward and hit the one behind it.  This sent various balls and kongs bouncing to the ground. 

Dean was leaning against a wall with his arms crossed watching, “Now do you need help?”

“It appears so.”

Other people in the store did their best to avoid your mess while the two of you cleaned it up.  Getting the last toy back on the shelf you pick up the stockings and turn to Dean.  “What do you think about these?”

“I think we aren’t going to go through that again just so you can pick out a different one. So let’s go with those and head out before you knock over the display of canned food.”

“You don’t want to clean that up too?”

“Let’s save that one for the next time we’re here.”

Sam’s girlfriend was a little harder than you thought since you didn’t know her and Dean wasn’t much help.  You ran with his comment about her liking the beach and picked up some scented lotions and bath bombs along with hand cream.  Being a nurse her hands would be constantly washed and most likely very dry.

In a men’s store you found a new tie for your brother in law to go with the briefcase organizer you found for him. 

You found a mug that Charlie would get a kick out of.  You also came across a Hermione Granger bobblehead she would like. 

You had picked up a couple small things for your old coworkers, Claire and Kevin.  You did miss working with those two. 

There was one more person on your list, but it was hard with him right next to you.  

Dean’s shopping was done, he had picked up some little things to complete Bobby and Cas’ gifts.  

Browsing the picture frames as you walked by you saw one you had to get. 

 You had the perfect picture to put inside.  Dean had texted you a picture from the station one day of him and Miracle.  Miracle was wearing Dean’s firehat, both were in front of the fire truck.

You passed Santa in his village the mall had put up.  “Are you sure you don’t want to ask Santa for anything this year?”

“I told you Sweetheart, he and I are extremely close.  I’m good.”

“If you say so.”

“I think you need to go see Santa though.”

“What me?”

“Yep, you keep trying to send me so why don’t you go tell him your wish.”  Dean stood there smirking at you, fully believing you wouldn’t do it.

“Okay.”

“Okay, you’re going to go up there?”

“Yep.”  You went and got in line behind a group of young children, who all turned to stare at you.  Oh this wasn’t awkward at all. Dean had walked off while you stood in line waiting your turn.  A part of you thought about walking away and telling Dean you had gone through the line already when he returned. 

“Got you something.”  Too late, he’s back.  He was handing you a bag and trying to hold back a smile.

Warily you took the bag and opened it up, chuckling when you saw what was inside.  “I’m going to guess I’m supposed to wear this up there?”

“You know it.”

Dean stood next to you in line as you waited, when you were the next one up, you took the elf hat he gave you out of the bag and put it on your head.  “How do I look?”

“Like Santa’s perfect helper.”

Heading up you were fairly certain Santa was looking for a child with you, and finally realized there wasn’t one.  “Ho ho ho, what can Santa bring you for Christmas, miss?”

While in line you had been thinking about what to say when you go up here.  “I have a friend over there who has had a rough time of it over the years.  He’s lost his Christmas spirit and the belief in happy endings.  I wish he could find that again.”

“Well, that’s some Christmas wish.”  He looks over at Dean who’s smiling at the two of you.  “It looks like someone is already working on bringing that Christmas spirit back to him.  Santa will see what he can do to help.  Is there anything for you?”

“Not unless your workshop is looking for another elf.” 

Giving you a candy cane he wishes you a Merry Christmas and sends you off.

“So what did you ask Santa for?”

“I can’t tell you or it won’t come true.”

“I think you are confusing Santa with birthday wishes.”

“Either way, I’m not telling you.  You can ask Santa since you are so close though.”

Dean just shakes his head at you.

Behind Santa was a Christmas shop and you dragged Dean inside with you to find him a stocking.   Holding up a Grinch stocking he shook his head, next you tried Superman.

“I’m sorry you have me mistaken for someone else, I’m Batman.”

You looked around.  “You aren’t the only one.  Sorry, Batman is all sold out.  There is Batgirl though.”

“I’ll keep looking.”

“Pink snowflakes?”

“I’m really starting to doubt your decorating tastes now.”

You laughed at that and went through a few more stockings.

“What kind of crazy is on your stocking?”

“It’s the same one I had growing up, classic red and white with my name in glitter.  It looks like that one over there.”

Dean walked over where you had pointed and looked at those.  “That’s what I want too, I don’t need flashy or cartoons.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yep.”

Finishing your shopping you were on your way back to the truck to head home.  After unloading the packages in the living room Dean headed for the kitchen.

“Are you good with ordering pizza for dinner?”

“I can make something up really quick.”

“I know you could, but I thought we had to wrap all that stuff we got today.  I figured we didn’t need another mess.”

“If you want that’s fine with me.”

You made sure to take what you had for Dean up to your apartment before you came back to start wrapping anything else.  When the pizza was ordered Dean did his best to help you out.  You were surprised by how well he did.  

“You buy gift cards for people, I wouldn’t think you had practice with wrapping.”

“We have to wrap all the donated toys for the kids every Christmas, so I get my fair share of practice with that.  Bobby wouldn’t let us hand out sloppily wrapped gifts to the kids.”

The two of you took a break from wrapping when the pizza arrived then went back to finishing it up. When the presents are wrapped and under the tree Dean builds a fire and you go off to make some popcorn.  When you come back the stockings are all hung over the fireplace.

  The two of you get comfy on the couch with another Christmas movie playing while you enjoy the fire and the sight of the tree and gifts around you.

Thank you for reading!!

Chapter 5

Tags-@winchest09  @waywardbeanie @whatareyousearchingfordean  @flamencodiva @deanwanddamons @jensengirl83 @abuavnee @lunarmoon8 @amyzombie1013 @akshi8278 @that-one-gay-girl @mandalou29  @igotmadskills  @440mxs-wife @paryl @supernatural-love14 @krazykelly @anotherspnfanfic @bobbie3939 @deanwinchestersnightmoves @winchestergirl2 @thoughts-and-funnies​

[jeffwittekk]

It’s you.

For a winter’s night, the temperature was perfect, or maybe it was the fact that the man I loved was there, walking by my side after a month without talking. Nonetheless, the winter cold and the warmth of my cheeks created enough contrast to remind me that this was not a dream.

He walked beside me in silence, his hands in his pockets and head down. The only noise around us was the crunchy of our boots in the snow and only the lanterns lit us up on this empty street. He seemed so close but so far at the same time, yet he was the one who drove four hours to see me. He was the one who ended our relationship by bringing a girl to his apartment. He was the one who thought we shouldn’t be together, so why should it be me breaking this awful silence?

For a moment, all I wanted was to feel his lips on mine, feel his breath on my neck and his hands on my thighs. For a while, all I wanted was to go back to where we were a month ago. After what feels like a long time, he finally broke the silence. His voice was raspy at first and then it softened. His voice. So soft and comforting, felt like velvet.

“I don’t know where to start,” he said. I noticed how the warm air from his mouth blew smoke with the cold air from outside.

‘‘Why are you here?..’’ I whispered.

The city of Angels was sleeping, the sun had gone down and yet it was still as hot as it was a few hours ago. But the music was in full swing, the echo of laughter sounding far away as my feet played in the pool water as Jeff sat next to me, telling me how he met our mutual friend, Jac. We sneaked out of the party quickly to be alone. Being a bit drunk, the idea of a cheeseburger seemed incredible. And that’s how we spent part of the night, in his truck, in the In N out parking lot, drinking milkshakes. That's how he came into my life, completely out of the blue, on one random evening of June.

Meeting Jeff was an avalanche of emotions, positive, exciting and intense.

Soon the darkness of the street was replaced by a busier street; families, couples, strangers passed by us and I couldn't stop thinking how they manage to walk near me without realizing the hole in my heart? hole the man next to me made. After some hesitation, we took our seats in a small cafe which was still open despite the late hour. With my hands around my mug of hot chocolate, I couldn't help but stare at Jeff, maybe trying to figure out what he was thinking, but no success. He looked tired, sad even. He took my hand, a way to draw my attention back to him. The touch of his skin on mine made me shiver, reminding me of the first time he touched me.

After an evening with friends, we returned to Jeff's apartment. Everything was new, everything was exciting and the exhilarating feeling of falling in love with Jeff still took a lot of energy. That’s why the idea of ​​sitting on his sofa in front of Netflix sounded so delicious. Shamelessly, Jeff sat right next to me, letting me rest my head on his thighs. That’s how I fell asleep in less than twenty minutes. "Do you want to sleep here, or do you want me take you home?” He asked, waking me up delicately. "here’s fine" I nodded, "maybe I’ll take a shower first?". I wasn't sure if he was going to take the lead and join me in the shower, but after 15 minutes and my skin boiling hot, I got out wrapping the towel around my body. When I entered his bedroom, Jeff was sitting on his bed, scrolling through his phone. He quickly shifted his eyes from his phone to me. How could a look be so tender and loving? he quickly got up to give me some clothes I could sleep in. He passed near me, in silence but with a gaze that said it all. I never knew that a look could make my insides throbbing that way, and I guess that was all it took for me to drop my towel in front of Jeff's marveling eyes. A smirk formed on his face as his eyes devoured me alive. In my outburst of courage, I slid my hands up his chest, under his navel, and finally, I took my sweet time to play with the elastic of his briefs. I could feel his breathing quicken against my skin as my hands explored further. He took one of my breasts in his hand, his thumb playing with my nipple to make them hard for him.

The waitress asking if I wanted a refill of hot chocolate, quickly tooking me out of my daydreaming.

"Do you remember our first night together?..." I asked him, whispering

Surprised by my question, Jeff raised an eyebrow. "Of course. I was so stressed out"

"Really? Why? it was good" I reassured him

"Yeah, it was really good, I remember not getting much sleep that night," he replied with a smile. He started playing with my fingers, dancing his with mine. “I miss your touch” he whispered back.

“yeah…” I hissed. “Should’ve thought about that before bringing someone else home” I paused “did you left your family right after Christmas just to tell me you miss me? I got your texts, don’t worry Jeff”.

Both our families lives on the east coast, we had plans to visit them all during the holidays since my family live four hours away from his. But no plan are set in stone and mistake are made.

‘‘I know. I regret everything, it was a stupid mistake, i didn’t think and I - It was selfish but I got scared...’’ he spoke slowly, articulating every word.

‘‘You got scared? That’s your excuse? You’re the one who told me to trust you and to let myself loose and not be scared to fall in love’’

I got up.

‘‘What the fuck do you even mean you got scared ? That’s so dumb’’. I was raging, i could feel the heat coming up to my face and the tears threathening to roll down my cheeks.

Almost home, back in the empty and silent street, i could hear him walking behind me. I don’t know if he thought I would give him a bed to sleep in but he is not my problem anymore.

‘‘I don’t care if you think it’s stupid because it’s the truth, I got scared, really scared. All the cards are in your hands and you don’t even realized it. I woke up one day minding my own business, taking care of myself, next thing I know ? I wake up next to this amazing girl who loves me for me, not for the clout or the money, but for me. And that, that legit scared me. I don’t know why I acted that way, I wish I didn’t hooked up with that girl and i’m so sorry I hurt you. It kills me’’

He was almost screaming, three feet away from me, right in the middle of this street. And at that moment, I completely forgot where we were and how cold the middle of the night was.

–————————-

sooooo..... i wrote my first story 🙆🏻‍♀️

Please be nice, it’s the first actual thing I write, i’m pretty happy and super excited to share with you all! but of course I see all the things I could do better hahaha but give me all your thoughts please please!! There’s gonna be a part two soon, don’t worry i won’t let you wait like that for long !!

What do you think she’s gonna answer in part two ??

Thank you for reading me, if you like, reblog or give me your impressions i’ll be so freaking grateful🧡

Love you all, M 💕

[nad-zeta]

Match up ~(˘▾˘~)

Hi I’d like an Ikevamp matchup! (This is my first time doing this but oof) i’m a shy(at first) brown(Filipino to be exact) girl that’s a lil on the chubby side, Virgo, messy short hair, 149 cm(short-), and an INFJ T and a Ravenclaw. I’ve also got really fat legs and as much as i like them some dont :”) i like to read books than listen to people read them aloud cuz I’m a visual learner. I like writing bc it helps me get all these ideas out of my head. But i’m really unorganized so i never really finished anything other than a few poems and one horror short story. I enjoy cracking a good joke for anyone to laugh at and am really affectionate with my loved ones. I draw sometimes too but they’re not that good :> so my hobbies are:writing(mainly), drawing. I love learning about new stuff that’s not really included in school bc it’s not one of my biggest priorities to me lmao. I also really like studying whilst listening to music. But unto my dislikes, i really dont like injustice for other people and have this belief in me(i belive everyone is equal). I hate loud noises (eg. rain, or a truck) it messes with me more than my hair lol. I don’t like people insulting me in a more meaningful sense, meaning im not hurt if anyone curses at me but if it’s a little more meaningful then that hits me hard. Most people think im insensitive but i get hurt too ya know. But i always welcome critique even if it doesnt seem so. I flirt sometimes with my friends cuz thats how much i love them ig. I can play the ukulele but im not too fond on playing instruments so i ight sing instead of both. Anyway, i hope that’s enough. Message me if it wasn’t and i’ll add more! Thanks!

 Hi hi, love! ❤🥰Thank you so much for the request! Ooooh your first match-up, how exciting! I hope I can live up to your expectations. 🦋🥰☀️Anyways sorry for the long wait and I truly hope you enjoy. Hope you have a super good day!❤🥰  @la-liar​

So I match you with…………… Mozart

So the first time the two of you interact, it was basically silence. Both of you cuties were too shy and reserved to speak to each other. That is basically how it was for the first few weeks of your stay at the mansion. 

You were rather shy, so you kept mostly to yourself spending all your time in the library, reading and writing. But that all changed one day when you discovered the music room. 

You had decided on a whim to explore the mansion a bit and stumbled upon a pristine music room. You made your way inside and smiled as you spotted a ukulele in the corner of the room. You simply couldn’t help yourself, as you picked up the instrument and started to play. Closing your eyes as you played, you started to sing along to the familiar tune.

At that moment, Mozart had walked past his beloved music room. He had stepped out for a moment, only to get himself a freshly brewed cup of hot chocolate before continuing to compose his newest piece. The second he heard the sound of an instrument coming from his beloved music room he sighed internally. He slammed open the door and froze in his tracts when he spotted you sitting on the floor in the corner of the room absorbed by the music you were producing. He had every intention of scolding you, but all that dissipated as the soft, soothing tones of your voice wash over him like a gentle ocean wave. He found himself calm and at peace for once in his life. 

Inspired by the tune you were singing, he sat down at the grand piano and started playing along. The second the first note of the piano echoed off the walls of the room you opened your eyes in shock, not realizing someone had come in midway through your song. You profusely apologized to the man and left before he could say anything.

For the rest of the day Mozart was stuck, he couldn’t get that song you were singing out of his head. He was starting to get frustrated as thoughts of you were plaguing his mind. That night he stormed up to your room, took you by the hand and guided you back to the music room where he handed you the ukulele, “Play.” His words were blunt and his violet eyes were sharp and determined. You stared up at the man in confusion as he sat down at the grand piano, waiting for you to start the song. You sighed sitting down next to him on the bench and softly started strumming the strings. Mozart couldn’t keep the faint smile from forming on his face at the sound of the perfect harmony and melody the two of you produced together. Since that night you were the only other person, other than Sebastian permitted to enter into the music room whenever you wanted.

Every day since, you would wander into the room as Mozart would play the soothing melodies. You loved to study while listening to music. So every day you would bring your books to the music room as Mozart played and just sit and read or write, as Mozart’s symphonies would echo in the background. Although the white-haired man would never admit it, he very much enjoyed your company. Unlike the rest of the residents, you were quiet and soft-spoken, and you didn’t irritate him like the rest of his housemates. 

Often during the afternoons, when Mozart would take a break from playing, he would walk over the corner of the room that you would occupy and just stare down at you. He would usually in his classical tsundere roundabout way, ask you if you wanted to grab lunch with him. You honestly had to smile at his clumsily blunt tone and the dust of pink that would grace his features.

The two of you would sit under the shade of a tree and chat for hours and hours about the most random of topics. You had quickly come to realize that the brutal way in which Mozart spoke, was just a front to cover up his true feelings. Thus you never minded the meaningless insults that he would occasionally throw your way. Cause they were just that meaningless. If anything, the way he would say them with that slight smile dancing across his lips, they were probably meant as his own type of endearments towards you.

Both of you cuties often get so absorbed in your daydreams that during your lunchtime picnic, that you can be found just staring into space. Mozart’s mind would be occupied with the latest songs that he would like to compose, and your mind would be drifting off, thinking about the latest topic that you have learned about or read. Its actually pretty hilarious, especially when the two of you are at the dinner table and Arthur is chatting away to the two of you, while both of you would be off in dreamland. It’s only when Arthur waves a hand in front of your eyes that both of you come back to reality. During these times, you and Mozart usually lock eyes and laugh, as it had become a somewhat, inside joke between the two of you.

You often flirted with the man, especially after the two of you had started to become friends. You loved the way his cheeks would get dusted in a light pink shade matching his eyes perfectly. And you can’t help but laugh whenever he stutters a little insult in response. Although don’t get me wrong, he is the only person who can give you small insult endearments. Anyone else who dare utter one bad thing about you, will face Mozart’s scorn. 

Like one time the two of you went to the bookshop to browse together, when some dodge man came up to you and started telling you that a woman shouldn’t be in a book shop and that the book you were holding was too advanced for you. Cue Mozart practically tearing apart the man with his sharp gaze. Mozart’s voice boomed in the bookshop like a crack of a whip, and by the time he was done giving the man a verbal smackdown, the dodgy fellow couldn’t leave the shop quick enough. 

Just then violet eyes met your dark brown ones, as Mozart gave you the most tender look and asked in a soft tone if you were okay. He could see the sadness in your eyes, and he knew even though you put up a tough front, you were also rather sensitive deep down. He gave you a tight hug and kissed your forehead as he told you not to ponder on the man’s hurtful words. “Mein Liebe, don’t let that man’s mindless babble bother you.” He then took you by the hand and lead you to a coffee shop where he bought the two of you some hot chocolate. And the two of you spent the rest of the afternoon chatting away.

It wasn’t clear exactly when you and Mozart transitioned from friendship into a relationship, but regardless you were the only person privileged enough to see this man’s soft side. And boy oh boy was his smile enough to make your heart melt. Mozart is actually a massive softie under his harsh words, and loves to shower you in affection. He knows you hate loud noises, so he is always sure to, take you the town route with the least amount of people and noises. And you best be sure he will be by your side to soothe you in a split second during any type of thunderstorms

He never knew just how much you hated loud noises like thunderstorms until one night. It was the dead of night, and the sky was littered with dark stormy clouds and flashes of lightning. You woke up abruptly to the loud rumble of thunder that followed a flash of light. You let out a loud squeak as you pulled your blanket over your head, in an attempt to block out the noise. By the second flash and roars of thunder, you were on your feet making your way to Mozart’s room. 

You gently pushed open the door, when yet another loud crack of thunder and lightning could be heard shaking the mansion’s walls. Mozart had no time to react, as all he heard was the patter of your bare feet on the wooden floor, and then the weight of a warm body diving onto his bed. He cracked open an eye and was shocked to see the expression of dread on your tear-stained face. He wasted no time at all in pulling you beneath the covers into his warm embrace and he pressed your face to his warm chest. He gently traced soothing circles on your back, while he tenderly sang you a soft lullaby to coax you into sleep. The noise of thunder and lightning faded into the background, as you focus on the feeling of Mozart’s fingertips dancing across your skin and his soft, soothing voice. 

Since then, at any sign of a storm, Mozart would be sure to drop everything and seek you out. He would usually wrap the two of you in a fluffy blankie, and he just holds you tight in his arms. Sometimes he would play the piano to soothe your anxiety, while other times he will just sing to you.

Mozart absolutely loves your sense of humour, and his stony features will always crack with a slither of a smile whenever you make a joke. Bonus points if you actually get him to laugh. He will legit huff out in laughter, while shyly hiding his face in the crook of your neck as you continue to crack hilarious jokes. Anyone privileged enough to see this rare scene unfolds is very lucky indeed, as Mozart’s smile and laughter is like the sun coming out after a very long stormy week. It is bright and filled with warmth, and reserved for your eyes only.

Even though you have a tendency to never really finish writing, Mozart will insist you show him any of the pieces that you do manage to complete. He loves the way your words flow on paper, and it down right inspires him to write a few songs to accompany your stories. He also beams with pride whenever you draw him a cute little scene on his sheet music. He will be sure to keep that page with your doodle safe for all eternity, cause he just loves them so much. 

The two of you cuties are the most affectionate couple around, behind closed doors of course as Mozart might just die from embarrassment if the two of you engage in any sort of PDA. He loves it when you sit beside him and rest your head on his shoulder as he plays you the newest ballad of his love. You are the love of his life, and he will spend every day of his existence loving you. He loves to give you cute little Eskimo and butterfly kisses whenever the two of you meet in the hallway.

You best be sure this man will spend every free moment he can get hugging and cuddling you. Often the two of you cuties will simply be spending a quiet afternoon in the music room together, nestled in each others arms while drinking a warm cup of hot chocolate, listening to the pitter patter of the rain outside. 

Other potential matches……………. Dazai

I hope you enjoyed this dear and I hope you have the best day. 🦋☀️❤

[staticscreenwriting]

All you have to be is here - Part 6

Synopsis: Billy has fucked up and has to do 60 days of community service at a home for troubled kids and youth. Working with the kids there makes him learn a lot about himself. Also there’s a girl there his age whohas a phenomenal smile and who is way too nice to him.

I guess I should mention there’s a lot of angst in this. Talk of substance abuse later on, physical abuse, emotional abuse. All that kind of gnarly real life stuff. It deals with kids and teens struggling with a a shitty family life so be aware of that.

There is smut in this part !

Part 6 of ?

Part 1 // Part 2 // Part 3 // Part 4 // Part 5 //

Please help a girl out by reblogging. Thank you ♥

[additional note: I am German. Sometimes I get the tense wrong or make mistakes. I am useless when it comes to punctuation. Go easy on me, please.]

I never really ever felt so adored before Never really ever felt this type of vulnerable Don’t have to hide, don’t have to fear All you have to be is here Never really ever felt so adored before And I said I wanna feel like this forever Even if forever’s just for now We’re on fire, let us burn As the outside world, it turns We are here and alive In our corner of time Forevermore

“ I’m sorry “ (Y/N)’s voice is timid, as if so much depends on those words. 

“ About what ? “ Billy asks, glancing at her from the corner of his eyes as they drive back towards her apartment. 

“ About making you sit through that group session. I didn’t — I wasn’t aware it would affect you like this. “ 

“ You don’t have to say sorry for that. You didn’t do anything “.

“ But I did, “ she persists “ I put you in a position that made you feel uncomfortable. I hurt you and that was never my intention. I would never purposely do that “ .

Billy doesn’t reply at first, too unfamiliar with the feelings cursing through him. It’s strange, to have someone care so deeply about him. To have someone who worries about his well being, about hurting him and putting him in situation he feels uncomfortable. That is so foreign it’s hard to fully grasp it all.

His own mother left him in a situation she knew full well wasn’t safe. She knew there was pain and hurt and sadness and anger. She left anyway.

And dad ? Dad is the one creating that situation, actively putting him in danger, purposely hurting him, deliberately creating a surrounding of discomfort and pain.

The two people who are supposed to love him the most, to care about him the most, don’t give a shit. And this girl ? This random girl he met just a while ago, cares so deeply, so unconditionally. She cares not only about his physical but also his emotional well being and she asks for nothing in return.

It’s a strange feeling. Though a good strange. A very good strange.

There are no words to really express what he wants to say. Words can not properly get across just how he’s feeling right now. 

So he doesn’t say anything, just takes one hand off the steering wheel to reach out and grab one of hers. Her hands feel so small and warm in his. 

Hand Holding, cuddling, affection of any kind that isn’t sexual has been absent in Billy’s life for so long. He doesn’t remember the last time he’s been held by someone. Not for any sexual reason but just for the sake of showing affection and being close. 

(Y/N) held him close earlier and she has no problem sharing her affections with him, no reservations in him holding her hands or them cuddling. Billy only now realises just how much he’s been craving physical contact like this. Soft and gentle. 

He wants to let himself soak it up and wallow in it for as long as humanly possible. It’s just so hard to let yourself enjoy a good thing when life does nothing but prove to you that good things don’t last. 

“ Do you wanna stay over again tonight ? “ 

She wants to have him around. He’s not a side note in her life. Not a burden. Not a weight on her shoulders. He’s a conscious choice, a deliberate decision. 

Billy thinks that might be the first time in his life that anyone specifically choses him. To spend time with and to care for and to — 

The first time anyone wants to keep him around, asking for nothing in return, expecting nothing from him. 

“ If you’ll have me. “ 

“ Always “.

There’s a skip in (Y/N)’s step as her and Billy get out of the car and walk towards her apartment building. It’s like she’s constantly walking on clouds. A perpetual dance. 

She’s so light, so airy, so unbothered. Even though everything that has happened to her should’ve made her hard and bitter. It hasn’t. 

Maybe that’s what’s drawing Billy to her so badly. The way she should be so much like him and how despite it all, she isn’t. 

Maybe if she gets to come out of all the suffering and the heartache as this person full of light and sunshine and love. Maybe there’s a chance for Billy to turn out alright as well. To become someone even remotely similar. 

The air around them has a certain sting to it, there’s autumn winds coming in slowly but surely. Though Billy doesn’t feel the cold nipping at his skin. All he feels is the warmth seeping into his heart and the smile tugging at the corner of his lips just from looking at this girl dancing across the parking lot.

“ Hey Billy you fancy a pizza for di— “ (Y/N) stops her sentence as she turns to face him. Her eyes firmly focusing on something behind him. The smile that’s been there just a moment ago has vanished and there’s something in her gaze that Billy can’t really figure out. She looks — scared almost.

Billy turns around and catches sight of a run down red truck parked beneath a street light. There’s a man leaning against the car. He has a thick bushy beard and shaggy hair. The white dress shirt he’s wearing is buttoned up the wrong way and has more stains that unstained fabric. He’s a very scruffy looking dude.

“ What are you doing here ? “ Billy hears (Y/N) say as she passes him and walks towards the man.

“ Honey ! “ the man approaches her, taking a last drag from his cigarette before dropping it to the ground and holding out his arms as if expecting (Y/N) to fall right into them.

She doesn’t. Instead she stops a few steps before him, crossing her arms and creating an invisible barrier between herself and the man.

“ Nu-uh. Don’t do that. Don’t come here and pretend like we’re okay. We’re not. You’re not even supposed to be here — “ 

“ Darling — “ 

“ Shut up, dad ! “ she yells and suddenly it clicks in Billy’s head.

He immediately feels the anger rise up in him. His hands get clammy and his jaw tightens as the wrath curses through him. This man has put (Y/N) through so much. So much pain and suffering and sadness. 

Billy wishes he could just walk up and punch him. Just beat the shit out of him for all this man did. Though he knows this isn’t his fight to fight and even if it was, punching him would do nothing. The emotional scars are there already and they won’t go away anytime soon. 

But what he can do, is stand by her side and let (Y/N) know that he has her back. That she doesn’t have to go through the pain alone, not anymore. 

As Billy steps up beside (Y/N), her dad’s eyes snap up towards him.

“ And you are ? “ 

Though Billy does not have the time to answer.

“ That is none of your business. You have to leave, now. “ 

“ (Y/N), honey. Come on. I just — I’m doing better and I wanted to see you. You’re my little girl. I missed you. Did you not miss me ? “ 

She’s biting her lip, then taking a deep breath. Billy can just about make out the tears clouding her eyes. God, he just wants to wrap her in his arms and shelter her from all the bad stuff.

“ You’re doing better, yeah ? You stink, dad. I can smell the alcohol all the way here. I don’t want to see you or hear from you or have anything to do with you. I told you this before and I’ll tell you again, there’s no room in my life for you. I have a good life. I like school, I have a nice job and — “ she sighs and glances at Billy “ people who care about me. I don’t need you and I don’t want you. Leave ! ” 

As the man takes a step towards (Y/N), Billy realises this is his moment to intervene. There’s a line you don’t cross and this dude is about to cross it.

Billy steps in front of (Y/N), taking a defiant stance. He’s never really had anyone or anything he felt like protecting. Protecting Max is a necessity, something that comes with the burdens and responsibilities of being an older brother even if it isn’t a blood relation. Protecting (Y/N) is a whole different story. Something he’s doing for the first time in his life.

He’s putting himself on the line for her, willingly. Not because someone expects this from him and not because he feels obligated to. He does it because it feels right. Because sheltering her from harm is more important than saving his own ass. 

Those thoughts are scary. They’re terrifying even.

But if those thoughts and feelings are indicating a change in him, a chance towards becoming a better person. A person his mom would be proud of. A person that’s worth (Y/N)’s time, then maybe he can deal with scary and terrifying. 

“ She told you to leave. “ 

His voice is deep and threatening. He knows he can be quite intimidating if he wants to be, had years of practice while letting out his frustration on kids weaker than him. And though he’s insanely ashamed of the person he used to be, it’s moments like these where Billy is glad for the lessons he’s learned in life. Like how to look and sound intimidating.

“ (Y/N) I — “ the man keps addressing her, though Billy notices his eyes ever so often flicking up towards Billy’s. 

“ Just leave, man. I’m not gonna fucking repeat myself. “ 

The man regards Billy with an unreadable expression for a moment, almost as if he’s considering whether or not it makes sense to fight back. Eventually he raises his arms in defeat and lets out a huff of annoyance. Jesus, (Y/N) was right, he does reek of booze. 

“ Alright, alright. I want no trouble. I just wanted to see my kid. I’ll go. “ 

As if this dude hasn’t caused enough trouble for (Y/N) already. Billy watches as the man gets in his truck, then watches the car drive away until it is but a dot and turns the corner into the next street. 

It’s only when he feels a soft touch on his arm that he averts his gaze and focuses back on (Y/N). She looks so small, so scared. 

This strong, brave, wonderful woman that seems to be walking on air and dancing on clouds every moment of her life is gone and replaced by a timid little girl. Billy hates that this man still holds so much power over her. That despite getting away from him, (Y/N) will never be fully free from the pulls he has on her life. That just a few words can shake her up so badly that it turns her into a completely different person. 

Billy wants to help, so badly. To take this weight off of her and bring back the perpetual lightness she seems to carry around wherever she goes. 

The thing is, Billy has no idea what to do to make it better. He’s never had to be the one to cheer someone else up. Never has been anyone’s person to depend on, to hold onto when things get rough. He doesn’t know how to be someone’s rock. Someone’s person.

“ Pretty girl, tell me what to do to make it better. “ he says as he wraps his arm around her and wipes a few tears off her face with his thumb.

“ Just hold me “ 

And so he does. He pulls her as close as he can and holds onto her as if she’d fall apart otherwise. Maybe things can eventually turn out good for the both of them if they just hold on tightly. To each other and to what they have right now. A feeling of belonging of mutual understanding of — love ?

He holds her close all the way up to her apartment and then lets her cuddle into his side as they sit on her couch. Luke comes crawling onto her lap and with one hand brushing through his fur and the other holding tightly onto Billy’s, (Y/N) seems to let a tiny bit of that weight fall off her shoulders again.

“ You wanna know what’s the worst part ? “ (Y/N) speaks up after a moment, looking up at Billy with her big beautiful eyes, still so full of sadness it sends a metaphorical dagger straight to Billy’s heart.

“ What’s that ? “ 

“ When he asked if I miss him? I couldn’t even say no. Because I do. I miss my dad when he was still my dad. When he had his good days he was so wonderful. Like a completely different person. I miss that man so so much. Isn’t that just so ridiculous of me ? “ 

It’s not. Not at all. If anyone knows what that feels like it’s definitely Billy. Billy who gets nothing but mean words and black eyes from his dad but still so desperately wants Neil to be proud of him.

“ It’s not. “ he reassures (Y/N) and places a kiss on her head “ my dad beat the shit out of my mom and he constantly slaps me around but I still want him to be proud of me. If anyone’s ridiculous it’s me. I hate myself for it but he’s my dad and I just want him to be proud of me for once. Just once. You miss a dad that loved you, a good dad. That’s understandable. Fuck, I miss a good dad and I never had one to begin with. “ 

“ I think he should be “ 

“ Huh ? “ 

“ I think your dad should be proud of you “.

Billy tries to swallow the knot that seems to be forming in his throat “ for what ? I haven’t done shit to be proud of “.

“ You have a job you’re good at. “ 

“ I’m a fucking lifeguard at the local pool, that’s hardly a career to be proud of “.

“ You teach kids how to swim. I think that’s adorable and important. I serve people while wearing roller skates. “ 

“ That’s adorable too “ 

She smiles at those words and Billy thinks that maybe cheering her up and being the person she can depend on to hold onto isn’t all that hard. Maybe it’s something that comes naturally. Because she’s his person too.

“ You helped Alex when no one else would, a complete stranger. You are so kind, Billy. I wish everyone got to see it. I know the — circumstances have made you bitter and angry and I know that it’s hard to let go of that. But those times when you let me see what’s behind all that anger and sadness ? There’s so much kindness there and I think you should be so proud of keeping that part of you alive. Even if it’s very well hidden, it’s still there and that’s what matters. “ 

It’s then that Billy notices just how close they really are. How her breath falls onto his skin and how the tip of her nose brushes his. It’s like that time in the music room only there’s no kids barging in anytime soon. 

This is it, he thinks. The moment he’s been waiting for and yet the moment he never expected to actually experience. 

Billy Hargrove has had many kisses before. Hot, needy kisses and soft gentle kisses. Short kisses and long kisses, with lots of tongue or no tongue. 

Billy Hargrove has never kissed a person he cared for so deeply though. He always thought that songs and movies got it all wrong. That kissing wasn’t as fundamentally important and magical as they make it out to be. 

There’s a tingling in his stomach, rushing through his system all the way to his fingertips. It’s strange as if someone has poured a package of Pop Rocks into his bloodstream. His whole body is on high alert waiting for the inevitable moment when he her lips meet his and he gets to see, for the first time, what a kiss can be.

(Y/N) closes the gap between them and it’s everything the movies said it would be and yet it’s nothing like fiction portrays it. There’s no fireworks or butterflies and the earth doesn’t shift. Nothing is fundamentally changed and yet everything is different.

Because for a boy who never knew love, a kiss from a girl who’s got so much love to give, changes everything. It’s more than a kiss. It’s a silent understanding. A conscious choice. 

It’s a “you’re good enough”.

It’s a “you’re more than okay”.

It’s a “welcome home “.

(Y/N) tastes like cherry coke and warmth. Her lips are so soft. God they are so soft. Billy wants to stay in this moment forever. Just feel wanted. Wanted and safe and warm and —

“ Pretty boy, you are so wonderful, please never let me go “.

There’s no hint of uncertainty in her voice as she pulls away and says those words. Her eyes hold no more tears instead they’re full of questions neither of them are ready to ask or answer. 

“ I won't. I won't”. 

Billy Hargrove never breaks a promise. Ever.

“ I won’t, I promise. “ 

He pulls her closer and connects their lips again because when kissing was great before, this is a whole different level of bliss. One that he isn’t gonna deny himself.

Billy thinks he’s shown a great deal of self restraint ever since he’s met (Y/N). She’s a gorgeous girl and if this was any other person, any other situation he would’ve tried getting into her pants from day one.

It’s her though and it’s different and he’s tried so hard to not think of her that way in order to not ruin their friendship. Though when he wakes up the next morning and sees her standing by the kitchen counter making pancakes, something stirs inside him.

There’s a deep longing for her and though there’s no denying it’s sexual. It’s fueled by a lust so much deeper than any physical attraction.

She’s not wearing anything revealing, in fact her pajamas make her look quite dorky. But Billy thinks the way she’s humming along to the radio while mixing what he assumes is pancake batter, is the sexiest thing he’s ever seen. 

“ Oh good m— “ Billy pulls her into a kiss before she gets the chance to finish her sentence. She tastes of sugar, entirely too much sugar, and yet he never wants to stop kissing her, ever.

“ — morning “.

“ Why do you taste so sweet ? “ 

“ Ah I’m just sweet like that “ she laughs and places another peck on Billy’s lips “ it’s the pancake batter. I wanted to make us breakfast but I think I might’ve gone a bit overboard on the sugar. “

“ You think ? “ Billy chuckles, raising his eyebrow in question.

“ Here try it “ she says, drags her finger along the side of the bowl then holds it out to him. God, does she know what she’s doing to him ? 

He licks the batter from her finger and god, there’s way too much sugar. Billy has to come to the conclusion that (Y/N) is a horrible cook. He really doesn’t give a shit though.

There’s a sizzling in the air, a palpable electricity as their eyes lock. It was never like this for Billy, slow and full of tension. Usually it’s fast and rushed and he can’t wait to get off. 

He’s enjoying this though. It’s a new kind of thrill. One that’s fueled by genuine feelings. 

(Y/N)’s hands wander into his hair, brushing through his curls and slightly pulling at them. She’s focusing solely on him, as if nothing else matters in the world. As if nothing else exists except them two and this little bubble they’re caught in right now.

The kiss that follows is different from the ones they’ve shared before, it’s faster, needier, filled with a longing for more. He needs to feel her closer. So much closer.

Her hands are wandering up and down his arms, his neck, his chest, until the grab onto his shirt and pull it over his head. As Billy stands before her, shirtless with messy hair and breathing deeply, she chuckles then bites her lip. This girl is gonna be the death of him.

“ Fuck, pretty boy. This is what the ladies at the pool get to see during your shift ? You could’ve told me, I would’ve come for a visit. “ 

Billy laughs at that. Genuinely laughs. Because just being with her, silly comments and all, makes him happy. It makes him want to laugh and it doesn’t matter that they’re about to have sex and she’s prolonging the foreplay with her stupid jokes, because just being with her is enough. She’s enough to make him want to laugh.

“ I think “ he says and pecks her lips “ you’re severely overdressed. “ 

Slowly she raises her arms and lets him pull her shirt off. Seeing her naked before him, knowing she trust him to be this intimate with him, to let him touch her, feel her, love her. It’s empowering. It’s wonderful.

And fuck, this girl is a masterpiece.

Billy wants to worship every inch of her skin, mark her in kisses and let her feel just how gorgeous she is, inside and out. To take away all the pain the past has put on her and replace it with unwavering adoration.

So he starts doing just that. His lips move down her jaw, leaving wet hot kisses. He descends down her chest, to the valley of her breasts. (Y/N)’s head is thrown back, leaning against the kitchen cabinet, eyes closed in pure and utter bliss. If this is the reaction he gets from her just by leaving kisses, he can’t wait for what’s yet to come.

He moves down her body little by little, paying special attention to her tits. They’re fucking glorious.

As he kneels before her and reaches the edge of her pajama pants he stops for a moment and looks up at her, waiting for (Y/N) to meet his gaze. He needs to know that she wants this just as much as he does.

When he does look down at him, eyes clouded over with lust, and nods her head at the silent question he’s sending her way, that’s all the confirmation he needs.

Almost agonizingly slowly he pulls down her pants and underwear and lets them pool on the floor for her to kick them to the side. Billy takes a moment to just look at her in all her naked glory. She’s an angel if he’s ever seen one. 

“ Why are you looking at me like that ? “ she asks, almost self consciously.

“ You’re just really gorgeous and I can’t wait to make you feel really good, baby. “ 

Billy has always enjoyed sex but until now it was a selfish act. One he took part in to satisfy himself and chase his own pleasure. He never truly worried about the girls. If he’s being completely honest, he only cared about making them cum to stroke his own ego.

It’s different now. He wants to make her cum. Wants to make her feel as good as she makes him feel by just being there. By letting him be a part of her life no matter how insignificant that part might be.

“ Ya know, that’s a pretty hot sight. You on your knees. Pretty boy “ she says with a smirk as Billy lifts her leg and starts kissing the inside of her thigh.

“ Yeah ? “ 

“ Mmmh “ 

“ Guess that’s what you do to me. You’re just so — “ Billy murmurs against her skin, moving up her leg and towards where she really wants to feel him.

“ — irresistible. “ he accompanies his words with a kiss against her clit. Then one more and one more and before she knows it he’s switching between fast kitten licks at soft sucking. 

Billy doesn’t usually go down on girls. It brings him no immediate pleasure so he doesn’t usually bother. Oh how wrong he was. Feeling her fingers desperately tug on his hair, hearing her moans of pleasure, tasting her, it all turns him on so much. It does bring him pleasure. So much of it. 

When his fingers join in, that’s when she completely comes undone, grabbing onto his head with both hands and slightly leaning forward, pressing his head closer to her heat in the process.

“ Fuck, Billy. You’re doing so good “.

He loves this. Hearing that he’s doing well. That he’s making her feel this bliss. He wants to hear her say it again. Praise him again.

“ Say it again “ he mumbles against her skin.

“ Baby, you’re making me feel so — uh fuck — so good. “ 

He can feel her tighten around his finger, can feel her grab onto his head harder than before. She lets out a moan that gives him goosebumps. 

Billy wipes his chin clean with the back of his hand and gets up, placing a long wet smooch on her lips. 

“ No one’s ever done that before “ she confesses in murmured words against his lips.

“ No ? “ 

“ No. Just you, baby. Just you. “ 

His ego grows and grows and there’s a stupid sense of pride filling him at the knowledge that he gets to be a part of one of her firsts.

(Y/N)’s hands fumble with his belt, then push down his jeans. As her eyes travel down his body, she can’t suppress a giggle. 

“ What? Why are you laughing ?” 

“ You’re going commando ? Why am I not surprised “ 

And when she laughs, he can’t help but laugh along. Because that’s just how contagious her laugh is. It’s warm and radiant and he never wants to forget what it sounds like. What it feels like.

Sex was never goofy before. Billy was never goofy before. He never got to be. Not even when he was a kid. Everything was always serious. He never got to be childish or silly. Never. 

It feels good to laugh. To be goofy and silly and ridiculous. Especially in such an intimate situation. The weight that’s constantly resting on his shoulders is lifted off of him. Even if it’s just for a moment it feels liberating. It feels so so good.

Maybe this is what has been missing all along. Someone to laugh with. 

Billy grabs her thighs and lifts her up so she can sit on the counter. It’s not the most comfortable position but they’re both too riled up, too needy to move this to the couch or the bed.

“ Do you want this ? “ he asks, lips moving against hers.

“ More than anything “.

There’s so much kissing that Billy soon forgets where his lips end and her’s begin. They’re one now and it feels like that’s how it was always supposed to be.

Leaving her for just a moment, Billy picks up his jeans and pulls out his wallet, frantically searching for a condom, his heart doing a little leap when he finally finds one.

“Hurry up, pretty boy. God, you are so handsome !”

He knows he’s good looking but it hits an entirely new spot coming from her. It means more. It means everything. Because he knows that it’s not all that matters to her. That (Y/N) has seen behind his looks, has seen the cracks and the scars and the ugly side of it all. And she still wants him.

They lock eyes as Billy pushes inside of her. He’s going slow, agonizingly slow. Cherishes every moment, every touch, every motion.

It takes but a blink of a second until they’re moving completely in sync, with each other, with the world, with everything. Billy feels weightless when he’s with her. Like a little of that lightness she carries around rubs of onto him.

His fingers grab tightly onto her waist as his hips move rhythmically against hers, like waves against the shore. The enchanting taste of her lips clouding his senses with sweet ecstasy.

Billy’s movements grow less controlled with each thrust. It’s getting significantly harder to keep his euphoria at bay and not let go off all these tingles that seem to be doing somersaults in the lower regions of his body.

(Y/N) is helplessly wringing and gasping, like with one last hit she would drown in joy and never recover ever again. And they are both more than okay with it.

” I love this baby ….. but I won’t be able to hold much longer “ Billy moanes into (Y/N)’s ear, his hot breath fanning against her neck, sending shivers down her spine.

They move together, faster; harder; more desperate. Desperate to get closer to one another, desperate to make the other feel just as good as one self, desperate to show just how much this means. So much more than sex.

And they succeed. They succeed in every little point. Every moan is a call of victory, every twitch and moving muscle, a dance of joy.

Love creeps up on them and swallows them whole.

As the tidal wave of pleasure crashes upon them, they cling to each other desperately, filling the room with moans and grunts of utter euphoria. Billy’s never been so satisfied.

Riding out his high, Billy leans his head against (Y/N)’s shoulder, placing soft sloppy kisses against her neck.

For a few minutes they just stay there, holding each other and soaking in the ultimate postcoital bliss.

“ Billy “ she softly whispers and motions for him to lift his head off of her shoulder. (Y/N) softly combs the hair away from his face “ how did you like the pancake batter ? Too much sugar ? “ 

He doesn’t answer, just erupts into another fit of laughter. It feels so good. So freeing. Billy never wants this moment to end. Never wants to let go of the laugher. Of the happiness. Of the girl.

The taxidermy raccoon looks like a little burglar, Billy thinks. With his little burglar mask and his beady eyes and his tiny paws. Billy grins at that thought.

“ You look happy “ 

“ Huh ? “ 

Dr. K pushes the too-big glasses up his nose and folds his hands, resting them on his desk.

“ I said you look happy. Happier than last time. “ 

He is. It’s not because of the sex, not only because of it. It’s entirely because of (Y/N) though, there’s no doubt in Billy’s mind. He’s not gonna spill any of that to the shrink though. Nah, no way.

“ So ? “ 

“ Billy, I wish you would cooperate just a little bit. I know this is a change for you and I know that it’s hard to open up to a stranger but I think it could really benefit you “.

Billy takes a breath, his eyes falling onto the raccoon again.

“ Doc ? “ 

“ Yes ? “ 

“ What’s with the critter up there ? “ 

Dr. K chuckles and takes the glasses off, twirling them around in his hand “ That’s Georgie. He’s uh — he belonged to my mother-in-law. It’s what she left me in her will after she passed away. Why she had it, no idea. She wasn’t my biggest fan so I wonder why she gave anything to me in the first place. “ 

“ Maybe it’s her subtle way of wishing you get rabies “.

“ You know, it would not surprise me, really. “ 

Billy doesn’t want to be here and he especially doesn’t want to talk about his feeling but even so, he has to admit that Dr. K is an okay guy. 

“ Your wife okay with that ? Her mother not liking you ? “ 

“ Nicole is — “ Dr. K starts then looks wistfully around the room. There’s a tiny smile on his face. Billy wonders if he looks this dorky when he thinks about (Y/N). “ — she’s the love of my life. She has been since we were in High School. She’s gotten used to her mother’s dislike for me. She chose to be with me anyway. Now we’ve been married for over 20 years and counting “.

“ And you’re still happy ? “ 

“ I get happier and happier every time I look at her “. 

Billy looks up at the raccoon again, letting Dr. K’s words curse through his mind. Maybe relationships aren’t all doomed to crash and burn. Maybe there are exceptions. Maybe he could be one.

“ He’s still fucking creepy, not gonna lie. Giving me the heeby jeebies “.

“ Oh no doubt, he’s unsettling. But I kinda like him“. Dr. K replies.

Billy kinda likes the raccoon too.

Neil isn’t home, that’s the first thing Billy notices when he walks through the front door. He’s more than glad about it. Not only does he not have to explain where he’s been the last 2 days, he also doesn’t have to sit through a uncomfortable family dinner.

He’s got other plans. Important plans. 

Plans that demand of him to swallow his pride and ask for help. From one specific person.

As he approaches the door of the room next to his, he can hear music coming from the other side. It sounds like Madonna. It’s probably Madonna, Max is obsessed with her.

He knocks on her door, mentally preparing himself for what is to come.

“ Go away, mom. I’m busy “ 

“ It’s me, shitbird. Open the door “.

The music cuts off and he can hear her huffing loudly before the door swings open and a visibly annoyed Max greats him with a scowl and an eyebrow raised in question.

“ What do you want ? “ 

Billy doesn’t answer right away, instead he pushes past her into her room. Max mumbles a sarcastic “oh yeah make yourself a home” before closing the door and sitting down on her bed.

“ Billy what is going on ? “ 

Talking to her like this, asking for help and being vulnerable, that’s something that still takes a lot of effort. Billy doesn’t remember the last time he’s had a proper conversation with Max that didn’t involve either of them yelling at the other. 

“ I need your help “ 

It’s scary saying those words but Billy thinks that (Y/N) might just be worth it.

“ I — You — What ? “ an utterly confused looking Max questions. 

“ Listen, if you make a big deal out of it ...“ 

“ I won’t, calm down. What do you need my help with ? “ 

“ You’re a girl “ 

“ Good observation, Sherlock “ 

“ Max, I swear to god — “ 

“ Sorry. Sorry, continue “.

“ You’re a girl. You know what girls like and I uh — I want to take a girl out “ 

“ You’ve been on a shit ton of dates before, what do you need my help for ? You take girls out every other day. “ 

Billy looks up from where his eyes had been focused on the floor, hoping that Max can see just how much this means to him.

“ It’s different. It’s different with her. She’s more than just — “ he trails off.

“ I’m 14. You can say sex. “ 

He doesn’t want to though. She’s still his little sister and that is the last topic he wants to discuss with her. 

“ Yeah but I won’t. All you gotta know is that she’s special and I want to take her somewhere special but I never did anything like that before, for anyone. So I need your help. “ 

“ Billy, I really don’t know if — “ 

“ Max, “ Billy says, eyes locking with her’s. He can see her take in his face, the wound on his lip, the bruise around his eye, the cheek still slightly swollen. “ You owe me “.

Max sighs then nods. “ Alright, alright. Sure. I’ll help you if this means so much to you”.

It does. Billy doesn’t think she can imagine just how much.

                                                      Taglist:

@babygal-babygal / @anxiousamandapanda / @imjusthereforsupernatural / @chhhcherybomb / @tomarisela / @noodlenerd101 / @xxcxrolinexx / @bippity-boppity-boopa / @mcrmarvelloki / @silver-winter-wolf / @thecrowclubsmanager / 

[fancat-not-fangirl]

It’s Not You Pt.6

a/n: happy mishapocalypse, you guys! I finally finished chapter 6, and it’s a bit longer than the others ones (whoops I got too carried away)

enjoy :)

Dean couldn’t for the life of him understand how the hell this freshman was so damn cute. His hair was so (Dean couldn’t believe he was using the word) voluminous. It bounced at every step, and Dean couldn’t keep his eyes off it. Oh how he wanted to run his hands through it. He could almost feel the silky strands between his fingers. And speaking of eyes, it was like every color blue had been combined, glazed, and inserted into Cas’s cute face. A face that lit up like the sun whenever someone passing by in the halls would say hi to it. A face that looked down and blushed whenever it caught Dean looking at it. A face that was so round and sweet and perfect-

Jesus Christ. Dean realized that he sounded like a schoolgirl with a crush. Exactly like the ones Dean would see on crappy TV shows, ones that would doodle all over their notebooks, drawing little hearts and rainbows all over their crush’s name. Dean suddenly wondered if Cas ever had any crushes. If he ever sat down in math class and doodled the name of his soulmate on the cover of his notebook. Dean mentally shook himself for not asking Sam what the imprint on Cas’s wrist was. Then rethinking it, Dean instead mentally pat himself on the back, because that would have been too obvious. In fact, he was being a bit too obvious now, glancing to his left every few seconds, where he and the incredibly cute freshman would lock eyes and look away, blushing, only to repeat the process a few moments later.

All the while, though, an oblivious Sam was leading them through the halls. Making a left turn here, turning right there, navigating the maze of classrooms and hallways. He’d point to something they’d be passing by and start explaining, or stop them at one classroom or another and launch into a story. But Dean couldn’t concentrate. All he saw were those blue eyes and bouncy hair, along with the extremely adorably flustered looks Cas kept sending him. Sam was (thankfully) blind to the entire affair. He acted like nothing was wrong, and moved to say hello to friends, wave to teachers, and keep up a steady string of words that didn’t make any sense to Dean. 

He had now led the group outside, right to the tree Dean noticed on his way into the building not so long ago. His eyes lit up as he attempted to reenact Cas’s daring crusade to save the cat, only earning himself a few laughs from Dean and the surrounding students and an incredibly embarrassed look from Cas. Dean didn’t know how this creature managed to look so flustered and cute at the same time. Again, Dean found himself wondering about the freshman’s soulmate. Had they met? Did Cas know who his soulmate was? And then there was a lingering thought in the back of Dean’s mind that was, was Cas’s soulmate a girl? 

Too wrapped up in his thoughts, Dean didn’t even notice when his name was called by Bobby, who had walked out of the school and immediately made a beeline towards the Winchesters, pulling Dean into a rough embrace. The movement shocked Dean out of his schoolgirl thoughts, and he had to remember where he was for a moment. By the time he actually realized that Bobby was talking, he had missed nearly everything the older student had said. With both Sam and Bobby looking at him expectedly, Dean figured that the best thing would be to nod and agree. 

Bobby barked out a laugh. “Well I never! Dean ‘You Touch My Car And Die’ Winchester is tired of taking care of his one and only favorite thing in the entire world? I thought I’d never see the day that-”

“I’m sorry what? My car?” The blank eyed stare that Dean gave the others must really have been fucking clueless, because Sam and Bobby immediatly starting cracking up. Still incredibly confused, Dean risked a glance to Cas, who also looked like he had no idea what was going on.

“You sure know how to mess with me, idjit.” Bobby clapped him on the shoulder, preventing any more mooning over Cas. He nodded at the boys and proceeded to shoulder the bag he was carrying, striding past them and towards his pickup truck.

“Dean? Hey Dean?”

“Hmm? You say something?”

Sam rolled his eyes at his brother. “Bobby said he was going to get lunch and I asked you if you wanted to eat, too.”

“Sure. Yeah. Go eat.” Sam gave him a look. Crap. Sam definitely knows something’s up.

Thankfully the food trucks standing outside the college weren’t far from the front of the school, making the walk there short and not as awkward as it could have been. Dean’s mind was taken off of Cas the moment he saw the dozens of food trucks lined up, and he gaped at the enormous food selection. There was a salad truck (that Dean knew Sam probably almost lived in), a taco truck, a sandwich truck, a sushi truck, and AHA! Immediately starting for the burger truck, Dean then proceeded to visit almost every one, getting himself a bit of everything. He found his way to the table on the lawn that Sam and Cas claimed, and Sam laughed at the immense amount of food being precariously juggled by his brother. Dean doubled back and secured himself a slice of apple pie, half of which was gone by the time he made it to the table again. 

Sitting himself down with a content sigh, Dean started attacking his hoard, alternating between the tacos and burgers. Sam was staring at him in horror, probably trying to comprehend how his brother managed to inhale so much food without choking. Cas was still averting his eyes, not that Dean noticed, because he totally wasn’t staring at the freshman even while eating. 

“So, Dean.” Dean turned his gaze onto his brother, and before Sam could say anything else, mumbled through a mouthful of food, “How can you still eat that rabbit food, Sammy? I’m surprised you’re not green all over from the amount of grass you consume on a daily basis.”

Sam looked afronted at the thought of his beloved salad being referred to as ‘grass.’ Glaring at Dean, he shot back, “I’m surprised you’re not dead from the amount of fat you consume.” Dean snorted, and picked up his burger, biting into it slowly and closing his eyes in content, trying to get another huff out of Sam. He was successful, and his grin widened when he saw Cas’s smile out of the corner of his eye. Sam started talking again, and Dean made sure to pay attention this time, not wanting to repeat the incident with Bobby. 

“So, what I was going to say before you interrupted me was, how’s your job? Is it still as a bartender, or did you get fired?” Sam smirked. “Again.”

Making a face at his brother, Dean replied, “It wasn’t my fault this time-” Sam laughed and raised his eyebrow in skepticism. “It really wasn’t!” Dean insisted. “There was this bar fight between these two guys. They were brawling over who got to kiss this hot chick, and I mean HOT, Sammy. Don’t you give me that look. She was. Honest. So. Being the chivalrous, charming, prince to the rescue guy I am, I may or may not have jumped in to defend her honor, getting myself fired in the process.”

Sam barked out a laugh and rolled his eyes again. Dean noticed that Cas had lowered his gaze and was staring into his plate. He tried not to be dissapointed.

“And now?” Sam prompted.

Dean sighed. “Now I got myself a crappy job as a mechanic at some random repair shop. The pay sucks and the people are fucking rude, but hey, I get by.”

Sam smiled sadly and admitted in a quiet voice, “Can’t you get a job closer to campus?” Oh Dean had thought about it before, he really did, because of how much he missed his younger brother. But he never acted on it, worried that he’d seem too overbearing. Noticing Cas intently listening to the brothers, Dean realized that he might just rethink his choice to work away from Sam.

But it’s not like Dean could have admitted all of that to Sam, instead going for an affectionate insult. “You know, Sam, I do have to take a break from your face once in a while.” The comment made Sam smile, and Dean smiled back. He turned back to his pie and suddenly heard a quiet voice from his left.

“Your eyes are so green.”

Dean froze, pie halfway to his mouth. His eyes snapped to Cas, whose entire face went beet red when he realized that he said it out loud. Not knowing what to say, Dean just stared. He was saved by Sam, who obviously didn’t hear what the freshman said. Sam had looked up and noticed Dean staring, causing him to also turn his head towards his roommate.

“Did you say something, Cas?” Cas blushed even more furiously and cleared his throat, getting up.

“I said I had to go to the bathroom.” He mumbled, and left the table to go back inside. Dean watched him leave and his heart sank. Sam, on the other hand, just shrugged and went back to eating his salad. 

Poking at his pie, Dean couldn’t find it in himself to eat. With Cas gone, even for a few minutes, Dean didn’t know where to look. There weren’t any sky blue eyes for him to watch, or bouncy black hair to stare at. No cute little nose, or rosy cheeks, or-

“Dean, I swear, something's bothering you today!” For the hundredth time that day, Dean was jolted from his thoughts and/or daydreams about Cas. 

“No. Nothing’s bothering me.” The bitch face Sam gave him put all of his previous bitch faces to shame. “Nothing except for the job at the mechanic’s crap shop. Have I mentioned what a douche my boss is?” Not looking completely convinced, Sam went back to his food.

After a while, Dean decided that he just had to know. Screw Sam and his opinions. So, obviously in the most casual manner possible, Dean cleared his throat and blurted, “Has Cas told you his soulmate’s name?”

Of all the things Dean was expecting, (a suspicious glare, a laugh, no answer at all, maybe), what he certainly wasn’t expecting was a blush. Sam ‘Don’t Call Me Sammy Because I’m A Big Boy’ Winchester blushed like a girl and squirmed in his seat. The mumbled “I don’t know” was said entirely too quickly and quietly, and Dean was about to start pestering him about it, but at that moment, Cas came back. He had with him in tow an even shorter person, but one who was obviously older and related to the (super cute) freshman. Dean saw Sam freeze and lower his fork.

With a flustered grin, Cas gestured to the newcomer and quietly proclaimed, “Hey guys, this is Gabriel. My older brother.” The short dude- Gabriel, Dean reminded himself, stepped forward and reached out a hand to Dean, smiling devilishly.

“Sup, broheim. Do you happen to be Cassy Pie’s roommate, or his roommate's brother that he won’t shut up about?”

Oh?

“Gabe.” Cas hissed. His brother put his hands up in mock surrender. Seeing Dean's face, he winked at Cas and whispered, “Ah, so it’s probably the brother.” Stepping around Dean, he stretched his hand out to Sam next, who was still frozen. “That means that you must be the roommate.” 

Sam’s dumbstruck face was the epitome of shock, and Dean tried to keep himself from laughing. His brother slowly reached out and shook Gabriel’s hand. They stayed like that for an uncomfortable while, until suddenly Sam stood up and declared that Gabe hadn’t yet seen the campus, and that he needed a tour. Right now. 

Abandoning his salad, Sam flew off with Gabe, leaving Dean alone with Cas. 

He was screwed.

[avmisworld]

Wayv as your classmates:

Kun:

Class president

Everyone basically begged him to take the role

One of the most popular kids in class

You can't not like him

Even the teacher has a major crush on him

An A+ student

Super smart without trying

Fixes everything wrong in the class, the school, the world.

The type to bring cookies to class during exam week cause god knows y'all need sugar right now

You two probably got to know each other after he volunteered to give you math lessons

Is super patient with you despite your dumbness

Giggles cutely whenever you make a stupid comment

Meaning every two seconds

After you two become friends

You understand how much of a mom he is lmao

Reminds you to go to sleep early and scolds whenever you show up to school with bags under your eyes

Exasperated looks whenever you act extra

But he still has this fond smile on his face uwu

Basically, he's that friend you'd give that one phone call to after you get arrested

He'll bail you out in time for dinner

Ten:

Doesn't really care about anyone tbh

Nobody really knows why he bothers coming to school

The teachers probably don't even know he exists

Draws all day

He probably has a drawing of the spiderwebs on the ceiling by now

Get randomly motivated and scares the class with his supposedly uplifting speeches

It never lasts longer than a day tho

Can be really quiet during class but has random comments every now and then that have everyone rolling on the floor

Good at everything besides learning tbh

Probably in all of the school clubs

You two probably first talked when he drew a portrait of you sleeping during your free lesson

He actually made you look better than what you do irl

You were super impressed with Ten's ability to make your drooling self look somewhat indearing

So you started talking about how he learned drawing and stuff like that

Because art is a subject he's actually passionate about, you two ended up talking for a while

More than you talked during all the years in class together combined lol

Since then, you have a pretty nice yet weird relationship

Consists mostly of Ten roasting you but also taking care of you

And you telling him what the homework is and helping him cheat on tests

Complains about how annoying you are all day but still gives you this really beautiful portrait of you for your birthday

Winwin:

The quiet yet lovable kid

Everyone loves him

Has lots of friends despite not being active in class

Teachers want to adopt him

Is smart but lazy

Sleeps through all the classes

Doesn't know there's a test until it's handed out

Still passes it

Is actually very funny and charming once you get to know him

You probably bonded over your mutual hate for mornings

Like you'll both be sitting in class during the first lesson looking like you were both run over by a truck and cursing the day you were born

And then you'll just look at each other and start laughing cause it's just funny you know

After you get to know each other better you'll find him so cute

Nothing like the manly image you had of him in your head

He'd always get annoyed when you try to take care of him or initiate to much skin ship

So you'd have to buy him a snack or smth so he'll talk to you again

The kind of friendship that doesn't include much craziness or even talking

But you still somehow have each other's back

Lucas:

The class clown

Very aware of how good he looks but seems to have no idea how funny he is

SO LOUD OMG

He's literally a happy virus

If he's ever quiet it's because he's sleeping or eating

The teachers are scared of him lol

Probably the most popular guy in school

Friends with everyone cause he doesn't give a duck about all the school stereotypes

Has all the girls in school running after him all day

The captain of every sport club in school cause he's a freaking giraffe

So freaking lazy

Probably would've been kicked out of school twenty times already if it wasn't for him saving the sports team's ass continusally

Probably will end up as a model or an athlete so it doesn't really matter anyway

You two probably got to know each other after he bumped into you in the hallway

He's so tall you can't even blame him for not seeing you tbh

He feels really bad and helps you pick your books up or whatever

And that's when you understand that he's nothing like the fuckboyish reputation he has

He's just an oversized baby tree tbh

You two get close really fast

And now he always smiles at you during class and you sometimes eat lunch together when he's not taken away by his friends or a group of deadly teenage girls

The sort of friendship that will probably form into a crush on your side

Xiaojun:

So soft omg

Always smiles at you in the morning and lifts your mood up

Has the cutest eboy vibes

Aesthetically pleasing to look at

Very clean and organized

Knows every song in the universe probably

Writes lyrics during class

But somehow still manages to understand everything happening during it

He probably let you copy his homework one day when you were having a breakdown for forgetting to do it

Since then he's your hero

The kind of friend that gives you tissues and Ben and Jerry's when you're sad

You two study a lot for tests together

He shows you new music he's working on and always has the most excited cute expressions uwu

You two have really deep conversations about life

The type of friends that buy matching hoodies from some sketchy store online

Hendery:

Hyperactive

Needs a chill pill even in the morning

Knows all the latest trends

Probably does tiktoks during your breaks and forces random people to join him

Always volunteers to participate in anything school related

Hardworking student unless he has something better to do

Dancing and singing in the most random moments

Has the brightest smile

Sends memes to the class chat on daily basis

He probably asked you to join him during one of his tiktoks

You two ended up filming like a hundred different videos

The type of friend that you eat lunch with

Shares his tasty homemade food with you

You feel very comfortable around him

The first person you go to when you're feeling down

He can make you smile just by sending you some goofy faces or telling you some horrible jokes

The kind of friend you'd introduce to your family

Yangyang:

A whole cutie

A.K.A the German kid

Everyone loves him

Talks a lot

The type to talk loudly during class and not notice the teacher has been clearing her throat for the last minute trying to get his attention

Has lots of friends outside of school

Knows everyone

So he also knows all the latest gossip

Likes to be involved in everything

Crackhead

Gets high on sugar

You two probably got to really know each other when he offered to help you with a school project

He was just standing around and saw you struggling and he had to help

Turns the project into his own and does everything like it's not a big deal

He tells you stories from his time in Germany

The more you know him the brattier he gets lmao

Says things in German and refuses to tell you what he said

Pranks you all the time

Like hiding behind the door of the class and scaring you when you come in

You try to stay mad but you can't resist that cute smile for long

Sibling-like friendship

[siobhom]

Fic: Something more than a catalog of non-definitive acts

Summary:  Jake and Amy go undercover as a couple. Written for the @b99fandomevents Brooklyn 99 Summer 2019 fic exchange for @professionalpenthief (writer0895). Thank you for the prompt! Hope you enjoy. And thank you to my beta reader storyinmyeyes.

On AO3 here

“There’s going to be an undercover operation infiltrating a smuggling ring,” Holt says.

“Ooh, me! Mine! I want the case!” Jake says.

Amy looks at Holt eagerly, “I majored in Art history, they’re stealing antiquities, and I have expertise that will be vital to this case.”

“Well I have experience being under cover in crime families!” Jake argues.

“As I was saying, we need two detectives posing as a couple, the two of you will be sufficient.”

“Yes!” Amy exclaims as Jake fist pumps.  

And Holt swiftly moves on to the next order of business, only later pausing momentarily as he steps out the door to say,

“Peralta, Santiago, I’ll brief you in my office.”

*

The two of them have only just sat down opposite Holt before Jake begins animatedly creating their cover stories,

“Okay, I’m Dirk Striker, I’ve been driving trucks of every black market good you can imagine since I could see above the steering wheel, I once successfully drove over an opening bridge (jumping over twenty feet of open air) to make a clean getaway and Amy is Leah Cortez a master lock picker who steals to pay for her addiction to cosmopolitans.”

“In actuality this assignment requires a certain specific dynamic…”

“Oh no, that’s the raised eye-brow of ‘I have to say something I’m not happy with,’” Amy says.

“These smugglers are very much a men’s club, previous undercover operatives have failed due to refusing to take part in their games involving predatory behaviour or had their covers blown by prostitutes they were expected to sleep with. We think the solution to this will be two detectives posing as a couple, but the idea of having to work with a woman will also turn them off.”  

Jake’s mouth falls open. “Oh.”

Amy says, “So I’m supposed to be the mindless arm candy?”

Jake winces.

“Yes,” Holt says, “It’s not ideal, but it will put you in a position where they will dismiss you as a threat and won’t pay attention to your movements. It will allow you to gather evidence in a quick and effective manner.”

Amy nods. “Okay.”

“There’s more. These men are very boisterous with women; to fit in the two of you will be required to be very physically close. Of course, we wouldn’t expect either of you to do anything you’re uncomfortable with.”

“It will be fine,” Amy says, before turning to Jake, who once confessed having feelings for her, “Unless, will that put you in an awkward place?”

“You’re an awkward place,” Jake responds, “No discomfort here, none whatsoever.”  

*

Jake is Matt, a fence, and Amy is his girlfriend Lana. They’re meeting in a cordoned-off section of a club. They’re sitting next to each other, their legs touching. He tries not to think about how nice it feels. He puts his arm around her, carefully, “Is this okay?”

Amy smiles. “Of course, let’s do this!”

*

Amy’s undecided on exactly how dumb she’s going to act. She’s of course got several personas prepared, of differing intellect level, but she also knows the importance of playing it by ear and is waiting to see. Within ten minutes she realises, it doesn’t matter how dumb she acts. They won’t catch on. It’s all perfectly believable to them.

She affects a semi-blank expression, and makes a point to giggle randomly and throw out random comments, that heavily imply she’s completely misunderstanding the covert conversation taking place. Jake’s voice is a low murmur, she pays some attention to it, but she’s confident Jake knows what needs doing, and thus she’s more focused on their surroundings, on picking up any clues. Some of the girlfriends hang out in a corner and she thinks she’ll have a better chance of slipping away if she’s over there. She won’t suggest it herself though; she’ll get Jake to send her over there during the next meeting.

She can see Jake holding back from clenching his jaw against the sexist comments at times, but only because she knows him so well. But from the others body language, she can tell that he’s not committing to the act as well as he needs to.

She tells him so on the way to their room (after ensuring no one is around of course).

“I’ve watched the footage. Have you seen the way these guys treat their girl-friends. You have to be ruder and more grabby.”

“I don’t want to though.”

“Matt thinks Lana’s a thing, his possession.”

“Matt is gross.”

“True. But Matt is going to bring down this smuggling ring.”

*

Jake freezes as he enters the room. “There’s only one bed.”

“That’s because I asked for a room with only one bed,” Amy states, “We need to maintain our covers, and these guys are careful, we don’t want anything to tip them off.”

“Cool, cool, cool, cool. We can just sleep in shifts, a few hours at a time.”

“Don’t be ridiculous, come on,” Amy says, gesturing at the bed.

Jake clutches his hand to his chest faux dramatically. “Are you trying to take advantage of me?”

“Definitely, now get in.”

*

As much as it makes him feel sick, Jake knows Amy’s right about his behaviour around the smugglers. Matt makes a point the next day to be more possessive and verbally abusive towards Lana. He hates himself for enjoying the feel of Amy under his hands, against his body. What if she finds out, she’ll think he’s disgusting, just like Matt.

Correction: he is disgusting. Amy’s just doing her job, she trusts him, and he feels like he’s betraying her.

*

He stands in the shower that night, scrubbing roughly, thoughts spiralling, he feels unclean. He hates having to treat Amy that way. And he hates that having her pressed against him makes him feel warm and happy and like he’s found home. It’s wrong. It’s all so wrong. It’s painful.

*

Amy can’t help but feel a little guilty, sure she was pushing Jake to be extra touchy to make their cover more believable and productive, and it’s genuinely needed to get the job done, but she’d be lying if she said it wasn’t also part of her wanting him touching her.

It’s wrong, she knows. But she wonders, if maybe, there’s something still there, something that could still happen between them. But now, Jake’s been in the shower for twice as long as usual, and she knows he’s freaking out, and she’s certain this was the wrong way to go about it. (Even if she had only been thinking about the case when she agreed to this).

*

Jake put on a wide smile before stepping out of the bathroom. But Amy, because she’s Amy, still says, “We should talk about what’s wrong.”

Jake sighs, running a hand through his hair. “I can’t…I don’t think I can do this anymore.”

Amy gestures for him to sit. “Tell me.”

And he wants to, he really, really, wants to. But making this whole thing about him feels unbelievably selfish. Sure, he feels sick and dirty, and like he’s coming undone. But at least he doesn’t have to actually go through it like Amy does. It must be worse for her. He shouldn’t make this about him.

“No, it’s okay, I probably just need to spend a few hours watching property brothers repeats and then I’ll be fine.”

“Jake, Holt said we shouldn’t do anything we’re uncomfortable with: you know he didn’t just mean me right? If we need to we can find another way to catch these guys.”

“It’s not that I’m uncomfortable. It’s just that…” Jake covers his face with his hand so he can’t see her reaction, “I really like how it feels when we’re touching.”

Amy says nothing, waiting for him to continue.

Jake stares at her, “Aren’t you mad?”  

“Why would I be mad? You’re doing your job. You can’t help how you feel. I’m actually glad. I like how it feels when we’re touching too.”

Jake’s gaze is awe-filled, “You do?”

“Yes. Now tell the truth: do we need to find another way to catch these guys?”  

Jake chuckles. “No, I’m good.”

*

The same as the night before, they lay on opposite sides of the bed, this time the strip between them feels like a chasm. Amy reaches out, fingers too bold, before she draws them back.

“Jake, would you like me to hold you?”

“What?!”

“You like being the little spoon right?”

Jake shrugs. “It makes me feel safe.”

Amy nods. “And secure and I know you said you’re good with all this, but I know the whole Matt act is hard on you. And sometimes touch can be grounding when you’re feeling outside of yourself.”

She knows Jake wants to say yes, it’s written all over his face. She also knows he’s going to say no.

“I’m fine. I don’t need you to…”

“I would like it too. We both just admitted we liked touching each other, so what’s the harm in a couple of friends taking some platonic comfort in each other.” They’re the opposite of the words she wants to say, but she knows now isn’t the time to push for more, being undercover like this makes it too complicated.

“Okay.”

*

The feel of being held in Amy’s arms is amazing, the best thing ever; even better because it isn’t part of an act. It’s a choice, both of their choices.  

*

Amy gets closer to the band of girlfriends, gaining vital pieces of info, fitting them together with what Jake has gathered begins to give them a solid frame of the network. They spend their nights platonically cuddling. And Amy wonders how things ended up like this, whether she missed her moment, whether she should just slide her hand lower.

She mentally lists the reasons she shouldn’t: 1) at this point that almost feels like it would be a betrayal. 2) Jake needs a friend now more than he needs a fledgling relationship. 3) It would hurt Jake even more to pull off the act if they were actually together. 4) Starting a relationship whilst undercover pretending to be in a highly unhealthy relationship is a terrible idea.  5) Despite, or perhaps because of, their conversation about liking the touching, and then the actual touching Amy’s beginning to doubt whether Jake still even wants a relationship. He hasn’t made a single move, despite them spending their nights curled up together- which was her move she would like to point out.

*

The gathering of evidence of the various members of the network is a slow trudge, until it isn’t.

(They pin down the head using a stray pharmaceutical receipt of all things).

They celebrate the case hard-won.

And go back to their separate lives, without nights spent together, and it feels like they’ve lost something they never had.

Now is the time, Amy thinks. But it feels like the spell has been broken. They’re back in the real world now. The days slip by grey-tinted.

They are stilted, coming back to themselves.

*

It’s been a month since the smuggling case ended. It all seems like a dream now, some distant surreal memory. Their moment has well and truly passed. They are friends, and it’s good.

And then Jake asks, “Can I have a cuddle?”

And she wordlessly takes him into her arms, and for once ignores her lists and rules and endless cautionary self-chastisements, and kisses him.

*

Jake wakes to early morning light streaming through the window and pulls Amy’s arm around so she’s holding him. And it’s more amazing than ever, because she shuffles closer, hand against his chest, and her lips press kisses to his shoulder.

He is home.

[sunlitroom]

Gotham – s5e02 – Trespassers

As I watched it, and some random observations here and there.

Previously on Gotham:

Did you miss the finale of season 4 and only now tune in?  For anyone who somehow forgot, Jeremiah’s bid to get Bruce to notice him helpfully coincided with Ra’s need to speed Bruce’s destiny along by destroying the city.  Jim helpfully tells us that the city is now up for grabs.  Tabitha made an absolute mess of attempting to get revenge for Butch – going out not only irritating and unsympathetic, but really, really dumb. Barbara wailed. Jim shot Oswald in the leg, for which he has put a bounty on his head. We are reminded that Jeremiah shot Selina – and a nurse with very distinctive eyebrows recommended that Bruce go find the witch.  A lisping big-eyed orphan child pleaded with Jim for help.

As always, long post will be long.  There are likely to be rambling digressions. Gobblepot might appear (although I welcome all shippers and non-shippers alike :)).  There will be naked favouritism and naked not-favouritism.  Broader comments at the end on plotlines and parallels and general direction.

We open on the boy, Will, from the last episode.  Jim and Harvey watch from the doorway as he is examined, and fill us in on his situation. His parents were killed in a home invasion and he was taken to a factory, to be a slave alongside lots of other children.  The people responsible are known as the Soothsayers.  

Harvey’s never heard of them before – but can hazard a guess as to the location of the tunnel they’re building near the docks.

Winsome orphan boy begs Detective Gordon to save his friends, because they’ll be punished for his escape.  

Jim and Harvey leave – Jim resolved to go rescue the children.  Harvey reminds him, though, that Oswald has a bounty on his head and he can’t safely leave the station.  Someone appears and tells Jim that there’s a call for him from the mainland

Jim goes to take the call. The voice on the other end tells him that confrontations must be avoided.  Jim tells him to please think of the children.  The voice says that his dedication is admirable but he lacks perspective – he runs the risk of sacrificing many to save a few.  He’s told that it’s the ‘collective opinion’ that he stand down and keep the green zone safe.

Jim protests – and says they need supplies.  The voice says they cannot risk any more pilots.  Jim snaps that they can preserve the lives of a few over many, but he can’t. The conversation is seemingly over and Jim stares consideringly into the distance.

Harvey enters with Lucius. Jim immediately starts to plan a rescue mission. They need to go through the Dark Zone.  Harvey reminds Jim of the ammo situation. Jim says he’ll talk to Barbara. Harvey reminds Jim that she might not be amenable.  Turning to Lucius, Jim asks him to sort out some sort of housing for the children they’ll rescue.  Harvey makes an unhappy face about the general risk of it all.

(An aside – in a desperate bid to extract something of interest from an episode that was pretty turgid.

I know we’re probably not supposed to complicate matters to this extent– but anything this straightforward is boring, so I feel like some over-analytical meta is needed to problematise everything.  

It occurs to me that this desperate time of suffering is maybe the happiest Jim has ever been in Gotham.

St Jim of Gotham.  They love their Jim Gordon.  Detective Gordon can save us.  

He constantly gets to be heroic – Jim Gordon keeping everyone safe, bringing them supplies. His word is law – Harvey and Lucius might pull faces, but they do what they’re told.  He has no boss, no troublesome politics to play.  There’s no awkward shades of grey – just good guys and bad guys.  The voice of authority is just that – a voice – and so perfectly unreasonable and hateable and removed – so absolutely in the wrong.  Hell – Jim should send Jeremiah a bouquet for this.

It’s telling, I think, that when Harvey later spots the candle burning in the abandoned building Jim’s head goes straight to the Wild West.  If you want to sell me that Oswald is enjoying playing benevolent leader over in City Hall, then it must also be accepted that Jim’s equally loving playing Gary Cooper at GCPD)  

We hear night time noises and see Bruce at the gates of an abandoned mansion.  He’s looking for the witch.  As he enters the house, we see ivy climbing over the walls.  As he progresses, we see it weapped around statues, and – more alarmingly – twisted around various corpses.

We see movement behind him. Someone has sneaked up on him – but Bruce had spotted them, and easily disarms him.

Are you with her?

What?  I’m not sure why Gotham went with characters from a Hammer Horror  - but, whatever.  It’s all corduroy waistcoats, flat caps, and English accents.

Basically – they’ve decided Ivy is a witch who can talk to plants and knows magic and can take souls.  They’ve trapped her in a windowless room with no food or water, and salted the floor. Eventually, they’re going to burn her. A few months of isolation and apparently parts of Gotham have turned into small superstitious English hamlets from the eighteenth century.  There’s terrible doings up at the manor!  His Lordship’s up to no good!

Bruce quickly makes up a story about a missing brother.  Credulous villager from another film says he’ll let Bruce talk to Ivy.  Bruce shines a torch into the room – and we see a sleeping Ivy. She’s wearing a sequinned jumper that also impressively manages to look like slimy moss.

Hello Ivy

At Sirens, where people are eating and drinking and generally having a good time.  Barbara, meantime, swigs from a bottle at the bar.

Jim enters.  We see there are lots of other men there.  Jim tries to make small talk about how busy the bar is.  Barbara points at his head and reminds him of Oswald’s bounty.  She asks if he’s out for one last hurrah.  Jim says he wants a favour.

Barbara laughs

A favour?  That’s why you stood back and did nothing while my best friend on this earth was stabbed through the heart?

(Best friend.  Best friend.  Wow.)

Jim protests weakly that he put Oswald down – but Barbara shrieks, eyes bulging with rage.

You restored his limp - he should be dead!

Jim takes what I think the Marquise de Mertueil described as ‘a marital tone’, and delivers an admonishing

Barbara

On this – Barbara starts shrieking

Everybody out!

Jim asks if she’s planning revenge.  Barbara retorts that

Someone has to do something about that freak

(An aside - Again with the ‘freak’ word.  It really does nothing to make her more likeable.  Also – the only things she could pair with it in the warehouse were the fact that Oswald has a beaky nose and a limp.  That’s all it takes for Barbara to decide you’re a freak. Writers - if you want to cultivate any sympathy whatsoever for Barbara and her lost ‘best friend’ – it’s perhaps best not to remind the audience that they’re both beautiful entitled rich girls who looked right down their noses at almost everyone else who failed to fit that description.)

Jim tells her he has an army – it would be suicide.  Barbara angsts it up and tells him to look around – they’re all slowly dying.  Some get to choose how.  I think this is meant to be about how she’d choose to die killing Oswald – but all it does is remind you that Tabitha most definitely opted for her fate – and renders it all less than sympathetic again

Jim tells her he’s sorry about Tabitha, and that things got out of control.  What things?  When she ran into a warehouse filled with Oswald’s men and a bunch of ammunition?

He goes on to say he’s trying to keep the city from falling apart. Barbara stares back at him and tells him he’s too late.  Jim frowns.

She goes on – though, and asks him about the favour.  He asks for trucks.  She asks what for – and Jim stodgily replies that it’s a police matter.  Barbara laughs at the absurdity of it – catapulted back to the compartmentalising days of their engagement – and says they could write that on his tombstone.

She caves, though, and gives him the trucks.  She then bizarrely screams after him, though

Knock yourself out - drive into the nightmare you created.  Here he comes, Gotham – your judge, gaoler, most hated son. Have at him - rip him to shreds.  No-one deserves to die more than he!

So don’t give him the trucks, then.  Make your mind up, Barbara.

Her lip wobbles and she drinks again.  I’d give it a rest, Barbara – that was mental.  You’re one drink away from a self-indulgent karaoke song.

Jim and Harvey drive through the city – specifically under a bridge, where we can see bodies hanging. Apparently, this area was a cesspool before – but is now even worse.  People dressed in gothy, skull-heavy outfits suddenly appear alongside them, flinging Molotov cocktails and firing arrows.

Welcome to the Badlands.

We’re at the location the place Will mentioned, where there’s child slave labour overseen by some tools in gasmasks.   One complains that the oldest boy we see – Gabriel – allowed Will to escape.  He thought Gabriel had promise – and offers a chance to inhale whatever is in his mask for energy or to see the future.

He then witters on about the tunnel they’re building that will give them exclusive access to the mainland for trade.  Until the situation is resolved.  Or, you know, someone just comes in and takes it from them.

Gabriel points out that the tunnel is too narrow.  Progress is slow, the roof is leaking, and it’ll collapse when they hit the river.

Beardy gasmask guy gets cross at this.  He had high hopes for Gabriel.  He points his gun at him, but is disturbed by one of his minions telling him to get out front.

Outside – we see trucks parked.  Beardy irritably asks who was on watch.  One of your tedious stoner mates?

Put your weapons down

Is that the James Gordon?

We get western-style music

Beardy comments that if they kill him they’ll get bullets and be in Oswald’s good graces.  They draw guns – but are surrounded by GCPD. There’s a bit of back and forth – but Jim takes his keys, and goes into the building, telling Harvey to kill him if he moves.

The children all stare adoringly at Jim.  He gives the keys to Gabriel, who starts to release all the other children’s manacles/cuffs/whatever.  It was a pretty tooth-rotting moment.

Outside, leader man asks Harvey why he’d be a cop in this town.  Harvey says the costume shop was out of gas masks – so it was either this or sexy nurse.

As they talk – the leader’s eye flits to one of his men, creeping up.  There’s a disagreement that quickly turns into a full rammy.  Most of the children escape in the trucks – but Jim, Harvey, Gabriel and two little girls are left fleeing on foot.

Back at the mansion, Bruce approaches Ivy.  She seems relieved – asking for his help. She says she didn’t kill the men in the vines – it’s the park. The trees, plants, roots – speaking to one another. The men came to kill her – but the plants saved her

Bruce tells her that he needs help for a friend who was shot – not naming Selina. The nurse directed him to The Witch – and here he is.  Ivy said she would usually help – but this park is behaving so oddly.

We hear a knock at the door – jaunty waistcoat villager.  Bruce asks him to wait. Ivy says there’s a magical seed under the oak – she’ll help him find it if he protects her.

Back at the Library, Ed wakes up.  He's chained himself down – and is exultant that it seems to have stopped his sleep walking.

Doesn’t he…. have the key? Jfc, Ed.

He unlocks the padlock and gets up, heading to the bathroom

No

Why am I seeing this?

I don't need Ed peeing

As he relieves himself – he talks to himself in the mirror about how the sleepwalking was likely just stress.  

We hear grunting from somewhere else in the room.  Ed pulls back the shower curtain, and finds a burly biker man tied up in the bath.  

Ed looks away, back into the mirror and tells himself there’s nothing there – laughing hysterically. His laughing fades and he closes his eyes.

He pulls back the shower curtain again – this time wielding a plunger.  Without washing his hands.

He asks the biker who the hell he is.  The biker is massively disgruntled.

Are you serious?

Ed admits he doesn’t remember.  The man’s name is apparently Tank.  He’s part of the Street Demons gang.Ed asks if he hit him, etc.  Tank is still sullen – and says Ed wanted information, but he wouldn’t give it.  Ed eyes him

I’m gonna guess you gave it to me

Oo-er, missus.

Ed says he can't remember the info – so they’ll have to do it all again, and hauls him out of the bath.

Jim and co running through the streets, hunted.  Shooting Oswald was dumb, Jim.  I know he’ll forgive you shortly – but it’s inconvenient in the meantime.

They run into a nearby building.  Harvey points to the candle burning, and warns that someone else is there.  Jim’s all caught up in the romance of his sheriff fantasy, and says that settlers in the Old West would sometimes leave a candle burning as a sign of sanctuary.  Maybe there’s still good people left in Gotham

Harvey raises an eyebrow at this romanticism, and then complains when Jim sends him to search the basement in this creepy hotel.  Jim meanwhile heads upstairs.  The children are left behind – and we see a shadowy figure pass behind them, looking sort of Victorian.

(An aside because this episode is boring – it’s odd how our collective imagination heads straight to Victorian stuff when it comes to ghosts)

Jim walks along the upper floor.  It’s a nice, creepy atmosphere.  There’s a room with a flickering bulb.  Jim offers a very tentative GCPD.  A small boy dressed in a school uniform runs out.  Jim reassures him.

Harvey in the basement, which is actually a proper kitchen like you would get in a big old house. Less traditional are the containers on the table containing jewellery, glasses, teeth, and fingers.

Harvey starts to quietly panic.  He’s then accosted by the masked Victorian woman wielding a razor, and starts to loudly panic.

Jimmmm!

Back at the library, Ed hits the biker in the face.  Am I expected to believe Ed was able to overpower this guy?  

He caves and passes the info – which is pretty pedestrian: Ed wanted to know where the Street Demon base was and whether their boss, Emmanuel Vazquez, would be there.

Ed asks the man what his demeanour was like last night.  Was he confident, flamboyant, charismatic?  Or a little repressed? Conservative?  Nerdy?

The man says he seemed stiff – in a daze.  Ed digests this, and then they leave.

Back at Ivy's impromptu 60s horror film.  Bruce leaves the room with a faux terrified Ivy.  Bruce tells the villagers to stay calm – he’ll take responsibility for her. Ivy promptly kills them all.

She turns to him – a hand on his throat – and tells him he’s utterly naïve.  Bruce says she didn’t have to kill them, but she replies that she wanted to.

Bruce stares balefully at her.  He tells her the friend he’s here for is Selina – she’s paralysed and has lost the will to live.  Ivy glares back at him.

Good.  That bitch destroyed the last drop of Lazarus water.  Let her suffer

Bruce says he doesn’t believe her.  Ivy avoids answering him like Jim has avoided awkward discussions about killing Oswald. She tells him she wasn’t lying about the park.  She’s been feeding it corpses.  It consumes them then flourishes.  She says she’ll plant Bruce.  What will grow, she wonders.

He tells her those men she killed were right.  She’s a murderous, callous witch. She smiles

Trying to bait me, boy?

Bruce says he wouldn’t waste his breath.  There’s no good left in her.  The park isn’t beautiful and colourful and flourishing.  It smells of death.  

Ivy doesn’t like this. She purses her lips and tells him it’s a work in progress. Bruce says it’s a nightmare.  She looks at him, and says if she helps him, he’s to leave her alone.  They leave for the garden.

Back with Jim and the kid from the room

(An aside – it struck me here that the pacing in this episode felt really off.  This should have been tense – but we spent too long with Ed and Bruce, and now we’ve lost a lot of tension.)

The boy tells Jim that his parents are dead – the woman here found him – the ghost.  She was kind at first.

They’re interrupted by Harvey. He says that there’s a crazy woman here. Jim tells the boy that they’ll protect him.  As they start to run, the boy says she makes him call her mother.

They head into a room off the corridor, but the boy slips out and shuts Jim and Harvey in.  We see the lights in the room flicker and strobe. The boy, stone-faced on the other side of the door tells them

The lights will make you dizzy.  Then fall asleep.  You won't feel a thing

Harvey starts to fold. Jim kicks at the door.  The boy calls that he should give into it.  As he does, we see the woman behind him, and she slashes out at him with her razor.

There’s a scuffle. Harvey smashes the window – allowing light into the room.  Her mask falls off, and the ghostliness is all gone.  She screeches at Jim – she’s the only mother the boy knows.  Harvey tells her she’s a crazy bitch – but she protests that she’s protecting him: she taught him how to survive.

She also manages to kick and slash Jim, and makes her escape.

At the biker hideout, which is apparently deserted.  As we look round, though, we see lots of stabbed bikers – including the boss.  Tank asks if Ed does this, to which Ed honestly responds that he can’t remember

Turning, we see a really boringly painted message on the wall

Penguin was here.

The biker growls: Penguin did this

Ed looks dubious.  I think not

Tank replies that whoever it was, someone started a war

Back at Ivy’s park.  She reaches into the earth as Bruce watches and extracts a seed.  It looks incredibly gross.  

She hands it to Bruce. He asks her if that’s human blood that it’s coated in.  She tells him that if Selina ingests it, it will find the way to the wound.  Bruce asks if it will cure her.  Ivy shrugs. Everyone responds differently.  The only thing that’s sure is that she’ll be altered forever – the darker angels of her nature unlocked and set free.  You very rarely see that one listed in the side-effect section of the information pamphlet.

She asks if Selina can live with it, then eyes him shrewdly and asks if he can.  Bruce tells her he doesn’t know any other way.  Ivy smiles – and tells him to go then, give her the seed. She adds that he still doesn’t know if he can trust her.  Bruce agrees and she replies.

Good – you’re finally becoming a man

Bruce asks where she’ll go, and she says that’s none of his business.  He needs to hurry: the seed will die if exposed to the air for too long.

(An aside - if I desperately scrabble to get more fro this episode - I could say that there’s maybe a Jim and Bruce parallel.  Jim’s doing good - but he’s definitely getting something from what he’s doing now.  Bruce’s actions are to save Selina - but also to salve his own guilt at how she ended up shot in the first place) 

Back at the haunted hotel, Harvey and Jim run downstairs and usher the children out.  As they do, Harvey turns to Jim

Not everyone wants help, Jim Gordon

They run out into the street.  We get a slightly too loud bit of dialogue between Harvey and Jim to let us know that Jim only has two bullets left. It had a real look out for snakes! quality.

The soothsayers and the goths show up.  There’s a standoff where they both have guns pointed at Jim – both keen to collect the bounty.

Bruce is back in the ward. Alfred tells her that Selina’s not great – hasn’t uttered a word since he left.  Bruce tells him the witch is actually Ivy.  Alfred looks dubiously at the seed – which does look really nasty.

Bruce says it might help. Alfred says Ivy is a maniacal cold-hearted killer

Selina suddenly pipes up

Give it to me

Bruce says he has doubts. Selina says that she’s suicidal anyway – so if Ivy wants to kill her, she can have at it.  Bruce hands her the pill.  She asks if she’s just to swallow it, and then does so without hesitation. Bravo, Selina.  That seed looked gross.

They watch. She exhales

Still here

Alfred laughs.

Selina says she knows Ivy has lost her mind – but Selina found her when she was first on the street, after her parents died.  It was a cold winter – and Ivy got really sick. Selina took her under her wing: showed her how to find food, a roof.  Eventually she got colour in her face – and Selina kept checking in with her every day.

I know she looks old now – but she'll always be that little girl to me

Alfred and Bruce look fondly at her – but as they do, she starts to sweat and convulse.  Doctors and nurses rush in, and Alfred holds Bruce back

My God.  What have I done?

Back at the standoff. This is really unforgiveably boring.

Blah blah  - Jim has two bullets.  Basically, Barbara arrives before things can go very wrong.  She’s had a change of mind since their chat.  Beardy guy takes aim at her from the ground, but Jim shoots him.  Barbara comments that it must be love, since it was his last bullet.

She steps closer and tells him to

Help me do what needs doing - kill Penguin

(An aside -I’m so very done with this stupid notion that Oswald is the big problem in town.  It makes absolutely no sense.  If anything, the only reason we don’t have all-out gang warfare is because there’s not enough ammunition to go round, because Oswald has a grip on it.  As for the notion that Barbara is somehow better – she’s hoarding food and drink to run a brothel while there’s not enough to go round.  If they show doesn’t make clear later that Barbara’s stance is entirely personal and irrational, I’m going to be very grumpy.)

Jim says they’ll table this discussion for later.

(An aside.  Barbara.  Harvey. Jim is not going to kill Oswald. If you don’t know this by now, then you haven’t been paying attention.  He didn’t do it to placate Falcone. He didn’t do it to string Theo Galavan along and get a conviction. He didn’t do it to guarantee silence after Theo’s murder. He didn’t do it when Oswald’s actions threatened to disrupt his work with the Court of Owls.  He didn’t do it when he was apparently all darkness and rage with the Tetch virus. He didn’t do it at the bequest of Sofia Falcone, and he didn’t do it most recently, when the city is a wasteland and Oswald controls virtually all the weaponry.  It’s a no, guys.   If he changes his mind on this, then it’s an ooc swizz.)

In the Green Zone - where the lighting is all idyllic.  Lucius shows off the new lodgings he’s found/created.  It’s not ideal – but it’s better than anywhere else. Citizens are gathering, and it’ll be full by lunchtime.

A woman approaches with her children to thank Jim for delivering them.  Barbara rolls her eyes and leaves – calling over her shoulder:

See you around, killer.  We have unfinished business

I have to ask – is anyone invested in this?  Anyone?

Back with Selina.  The doc says whatever she took put her into shock – but she’s now stabilised.  Bruce looks solemn.  There’s a statue of Jesus behind him.  Hi Jesus!

Alfred says they should go. He walks on, but Bruce lingers to peek in, and is shocked to see Selina’s bed empty and the window open.  He rushes in and looks out the window.  Selina walks up behind him

Bruce says it's a miracle. Selina’s eyes are closed, and she smiles beatifically.  She says she feels no no pain.  Bruce says he thought he’d killed her, but Seline says she’s even better than before.

They hug, and over Bruce’s shoulder, we see Selina open her eyes – which momentarily look just like a cat’s eyes.

General Observations

Ugh.  With a couple of exceptions, that was a slog.

No Oswald at all.  I’m not sure why this would be the case – but the episode palled badly without him.  If it’s to try and easily paint him as a flat villain in his absence, it failed.  Life in Gotham is mind-bendingly boring without him.

Ed

It’s not that I’m not interested in Ed, but there’s not really much need for interpretation or further examination for what’s going on.  It’s either part of his own subconscious (we’ve seen that this can happen with Ed), or something to do with Hugo’s tinkering.  I’m not quite sure why I feel a sort of weird lack of tension with this plotline, but there it is.

Barbara

Likewise – Barbara’s revenge plot is really just tiresome.  I will admit to being nakedly biased towards Oswald, but even if that weren’t the case - it’s hard to feel real sympathy here.  Babs – Oswald didn’t invade Sirens, seek Tabitha out and then stab her in the heart.  She went looking for him, and then left him with no other options.  Not only that – but she was fully aware that getting revenge for Butch meant leaving you alone.  Last, but not least: She.  Murdered. His.  Mother. I know the big female solidarity thing really only extends to women 18-40 who can turn a profit for you – but still.  Take a moment to think this over.

Look I get that it’s easier for her to be angry at Oswald than it is to be angry at Tabitha – but it’s still a bit tedious.  A lot tedious.

Jim

As previously discussed, there’s more meat to Jim’s story right now – but I’ve no idea whether it’s intentional.  I’m sure Jim does genuinely care about the citizens who need help.  However, Jim is also loving this.  All that murky stuff from the past is gone.  Here, he’s Big Jim Gordon, the heroic sheriff in a Wild West town.  His deputies do what he says, and Miss Kitty who runs the brothel can help out when needed.  Big-eyed children rush to him for help, mothers thank him, and he gets to rush headfirst into fights outgunned whenever he wants.  

I’m not sure where that fancy-dressed guy with the European name and the limp fits in to his story, but maybe Jim’s watched more Westerns than I have.

Hopefully this might head in a more complicated direction.  A couple of the scenes with Jim and the children seemed deliberately too saccharine. Harvey warned him that not everyone wants his help.   Let’s see where things go.

Jim and Barbara

I remember, way back when, commenting that the lack of real closure between Jim and Barbara felt unrealistic.  Jim’s serious-minded and quite traditional (or seemed so at that point, anyway).  He and Barbara were engaged to be married – church booked and dress bought, as Barbara told us.  The relationship did have had its problems: Barbara was depressed and day drinking, while Jim was busily emulating his father and compartmentalising like crazy – but it always felt like they would have more definitively closed the chapter, as opposed to just moving on like it was a short-term relationship.  I think what we’re seeing here is basically unfinished business being played out. Probably better for it to play out with the help of contraceptives, but hey, we know where they’ve decided to go with this.

Again - if you want to make it more problematic in a desperate bid to make things more interesting - killing Tabitha, having Barbara trade in ‘information’ instead of all out violence, masking what goes on in Sirens, putting a nice white coat on her: it’s all to ‘purify’ her character to make her suitable for the pregnancy storyline later.  Not too, pure, though.  My guess is she’ll die nobly at some point, and Lee will wind up raising the baby with Jim.

Recaps are a lot faster and easier when there’s no Oswald and the episode is a bit lacklustre.

Thoughts?

[fandammit]

When you need directions, then I’ll be the guide (1/2)

[A/N: A few days late and a two-parter because I don’t know how to write short things for the Kastle fic/art exchange. A gift for @allmyfuckingobsessions for her lovely road trip aesthetic, found here. Can be read as part of the same world as Loss like the sharp edges of a knife, though you don’t have to read that to enjoy this.]

“Hey, Frank?”

He looks up from his book and meets her eyes across the small cafe table. She gives him a small, close-lipped smile that makes the corners of his own mouth turn up on instinct.

“Are you free this weekend?”

He closes his book and folds his arms across his chest as he nods. Doesn’t even have to think about his answer.

“Yeah, I am.”

“Do you want to take a trip? With me, I mean.” She leans forward, her hair dropping over her face. She clears her throat and pushes the strands back behind her ear as she worries her top lip with her teeth.

Of course there is no other answer for him than yes, and he thinks she must know that. He wonders if she’s asking only out of some sense of obligation — if her restlessness is borne out of her worry that he’ll agree.

“I do.” He uncross his arms and shrugs, rests his hand on the table top. “But only if you want me to.”

She smiles at him, the edges of it more relaxed now as her shoulders drop down a fraction.

“I wouldn’t have asked if I didn’t want you to.”

He tilts his head at her.

“You sure? Cuz you seem — uh — .” He motions towards her. “Nervous or worried, and — .”

She shakes her head and reaches across the table to rest her hand on top of his. It’s not the first or fifth or even fifteenth time she’s done it. They've spent much of the last month together, in stark contrast to the nearly 12 months prior they've spent orbiting one another, circling the same paths but never crossing.

Now, his morning runs end with him having early morning coffee with Karen before she heads to work. Nights not spent at the boxing gym or out with Curtis are reserved for alternating dinners at one another’s apartment.  

Karen’s a tactile person — or at least, she is with him. Fingertips lightly tapping a rhythm on his wrist as she rereads a sentence that needs reworking; a hand on his shoulder, gently pushing him forward in her tiny kitchen as she brushes past him as he's cooking dinner; her feet tucked up underneath his leg as they watch a movie on her couch.  

And of course he, too, has never been as closed off with her as he is in other parts of his life. He catalogues the touches between them that he initiates, because he’s the type of man who might; because these are the type of feelings where each one matters.

Often: a hand at the small of her back as he introduces her to Curtis, to David, to Paul at the boxing gym, to Mrs. Abaya at the animal shelter. Sometimes: a brush of his fingertips against back of her hand as he hands her a cup of coffee. Very rarely: his palm lingering on her cheek as he tucks a fallen strand of hair back behind her ear.

Still, her hand on his makes him smile. He shifts his hand so that her fingers are wrapped up in his, his thumb gently brushing over the ridges of her knuckles.  

She smiles softly at the movement and takes a deep breath, squeezing his hand as she leans forward.

“I came to New York with two suitcases. Just clothes, some jewelry. No photos or, um, keepsakes or…anything from home, really.” She looks down at their clasped hands, pulling at her top lip with her teeth as mulls over her words. “I was the only around to pack up the house I grew up in when I left. I should’ve sold all the stuff or…” She shrugs and looks away from him for a moment, makes a sad sound that’s halfway between a scoff and a laugh. “Thrown it all out, probably, but —.” She looks back at him and runs her hand through her hair and shakes her head. “I didn’t. I just put it all in storage and have never been back ever since.”

There’s a sad, faraway look in her eyes as she speaks, the same one he always notices when she brings up her life before New York. She doesn’t talk about that part of her life often — a late night story about Kevin, now almost four years dead; a short mention of a busy father and a distant mother; allusions to some tragic series of events.

He'd be lying if he said he's not desperate to know more about it. As much as he knows about her — the fact that maple coffee cake is her favorite pastry, that a furrow appears between her brows when she’s looking at a particularly difficult sentence, the color of her eyes in the early morning light versus in the lamp light of her living room — there’s so much about her that remains a mystery to him. And while he thinks he could just look her up — or have David do so — he knows more than anyone that there are some things meant to be spoken out loud, eyes locked on one another, rather than read on paper.

Karen draws herself up and clears her throat, shaking him free from his own thoughts.

“Anyway, I got a call last night from the storage company saying that the land got bought out and they need to transfer all their units. They wanted to know what I wanted to do with all my stuff and I figured — .” She glances over at him from the corner of her eye as she shrugs. “I figured that I should finally go through it all — decide what I want to keep and what I should throw out.”

He nods slowly, taking in her words and turning them over in his mind.

“And you want me there with you for that?”

She nods.

“Yeah, I do.” She takes a deep breath and gives him a soft, small smile. "I really, really do.”

He smiles in return, warmth blooming in the center of his chest and spreading outward. He squeezes her hand and twines his fingers in hers, then nods.

“Ok.”

They leave early Saturday morning. They’re both early risers anyway and Karen wants to get to the storage unit as soon as it opens, which means he shows up at her apartment before the sun has even broken over the horizon.

They decided to take his truck because neither of them trust Karen’s car to even make it to the city limits, much less the 245 miles it’ll take to get to Fagan Corners. Plus, Karen made a reference while they were planning to an apple orchard along the way — a little out of the way place at the end of a bumpy, country road that she’d always wanted to go to as a kid.

So, of course he’d called ahead and made sure they were open that day.

He waits a few moments in his truck to see if Karen has seen him pull up and is coming down on her own. When she doesn’t, he reaches behind him and pets Gracie, her tail wagging as she looks up at Karen’s apartment.

He grins.

“I’ll be right back, girl,” he says quietly, scratching her behind the ears. “And I’m sure Karen will have a treat for you when I do.” Gracie perks up at the sound of Karen’s name and he chuckles at that. Sometimes he thinks she likes Karen more than she likes him, which makes him feel like she was definitely the right dog for him.

Just as he gets out of his truck, Karen emerges from the front door of her apartment building. She’s wearing dark blue, cutoff jean shorts and a dark grey shirt, her hair in loose waves around her face. And while it’s not the first time he’s seen her wearing something other than work clothes, it’s still rare enough that he finds himself momentarily breathless. There’s an easy sort of beauty to Karen, one that radiates out especially when she’s in something as ordinary as jeans in a t-shirt on a quiet Saturday morning.  

She smiles when she sees him and adjusts the bag on her shoulder as she holds up two cups of coffee in either hand from Vigilantes. And even though he could just wait by his truck until she gets to him, he's drawn to her and that smile, and finds himself jogging across the street to meet her halfway.

He takes the proffered coffee cup in her hand, then, because he both wants to and wants to revel in the reality that he’s able to, he leans over to give her a kiss on the cheek.

“Thanks for the coffee.”

She tilts her head and the smile on her face dips into something more apologetic before she motions to the truck.

“I figured it was the least I could do since you’re going to spend an entire Saturday driving back and forth to a random little town in the middle of Vermont.”

He shakes his head and nudges her with his shoulder as they walk back to his truck. He could say that he had nothing else to do, that he’s never been to Vermont in the fall, that her hometown isn’t just a random little town to him.

And those things are all true. But because it’s Karen, and because he’s always tried to be his most genuine self with her, he instead says the most honest thing he can say.

“There’s nowhere else I’d rather be.” 

They spend about five minutes going through the radio stations before Karen gives up on them and just connects her phone to the truck’s bluetooth.

“Any requests?” She asks, scrolling down her phone.

He taps his fingers on the steering wheel.

“Just none of that shit that makes me sleepy.”

Karen grins.

“Ok, so no indie.”

He glances over at her phone.

“What do you have on there?”

She shrugs.

“I have Spotify premium, so I have pretty much anything you want.”

He nods.

“They got any, uh, road trip mixes on there or something like that?”

Karen lights up, and he finds himself ridiculously pleased at being the cause for it.

“Good idea.” She taps her fingers a few times on the screen, then laughs quietly. “Ok, no, you’d hate these.”

He furrows his brows as he glances over at her.

“I might not.”

She arches a brow at him and starts playing one. He gets about 30 seconds into a song with an easy baseline, clapping sounds and a young man singing a string of nonsensical, repetitive words before he looks back over at her.

“Ok, you’re right, I hate this.”

She laughs and stops the song, and for a few minutes there’s only silence and the sound of her tapping the screen every few seconds.

“I think I have one. It’s called Classic Road Trip Songs, so I feel like you’d like it.”

The opening drumbeat of Bruce Springsteen’s “Born to Run” start to come through the speakers and he grins.

“No better start.” He looks over at her. “What else is on this?”

“Creedence Clearwater Revival…the Allman Brothers…Johnny Cash.” He nods along to each artist, then looks over to find her grinning over at him. “And also a few fun surprises that I’m sure you’ll love.”

“So, I’ll hate them?”

Karen laughs.

“It depends how you feel about 90’s pop music.”

“I’m, uh, sure not very well.”

Bruce Springsteen is followed by The Kinks, which is then followed by Creedence Clearwater Revival.

The first surprising song turns out to Smash Mouth’s “All Star,” which he feels like is a disputable song to put on a playlist called Classic Road Trip Songs.  

He doesn’t say so though, because Karen grins brightly over at him the minute the opening bars come through the speakers and then almost immediately starts singing along softly in the seat next to him. And even though he does, in fact, hate the song, he also wasn’t immune to the fact that there was a point in time where you essentially couldn’t escape it.

He joins in the second time the chorus comes around, his own deep voice matching surprisingly well with the lead singer’s. Karen stops singing completely, staring at him in complete shock before her face breaks into the brightest smile he’s seen from her as she sidles closer to him, her high voice joining his as they sing along to the rest of the song.  

It’s silly and saccharine and utterly ridiculous, and some deeper part of him thinks about the absurdity of a man nicknamed the Punisher singing along to some upbeat pop song from a one-hit 90’s band.

But that line of thinking is drowned out in the flood of music and the press of Karen next to him, is supplanted by the weighty feeling of happiness settling into his bones and falling into the lines of his smile.

He thinks that this silly, absurd moment is the happiest he’s been in a long time.

And part of him even thinks that, despite it all, he might deserve it, too.

[vmfx]

RANDOMS AND BLANKS.

Summertime draws to a close. The kids are going back to school to pursue not only their careers but also young college girls, ridiculous party weekends soaked in alcohol and day-after results of blackout gaffes posted on Facebook. As usual when summer is over, my manager scrambles to fill in the blanks for adequate staffing.

He has hired every walk of life imaginable. Everyone, from 45 year-old has-beens, sleepy-time addicts wearing low-cut blouses with short skirts, round-the-clock drunks, and future sexual predators, each one besting the last. None, however, raced out of the gate as fast as Kieran.

He started working with us during Labor Day weekend. Real upbeat, eager to learn, lots of energy. We both associated real well and he laughed hard at all my jokes and stories I had. Kieran, on the other hand, wasn’t joking when he told me about his stories, mostly random and out of leftfield. Such as when he disclosed to me about his ADHD and how he took lithium to treat it. That was not the reason why he was kicked out of his house from the last episode: that went to his previous stint as a male stripper.

During one busy weekend taking care of a huge mob of customers, he randomly nudges me for my attention. We both hurdle behind the counter.

“You see that lady I’m helping out that’s right in front of you?” smiled Kieran.

“Is that your ma’?”

“No, that’s my 3rd grade teacher. I stabbed her. I got kicked out of school for it.” laughed Kieran.

“You what?”

“Yeah. I stabbed her. Wait, hold on…Mrs. McNaneman? I’m Kieran. Remember me? I was a student of yours years ago!”

I look over my shoulder through the corner of my eye as his victim teacher customer frantically denies herself when she realized it was her former student that attacked her. It was not the only nudge I got from Kieran as the next day he tells me about another wonderful stunt of his.

“Hey, you see that black chick I’m helping out?”

“What about her?” This cannot be good, I thought.

“She’s my next-door neighbor. I fucked her” grinned Kieran as he pressed me to buy his latest back-flips and cartwheels.

**********

One week passes and our daring cowboy Kieran has already given away enough ammunition for his fellow co-workers to shoot back at him. The claims were so outrageous that the drama kings behind the counter were alread talking about him as the latest piece of hot news. It was discovered that Kieran just got engaged to his girlfriend of six weeks after he met her on an online dating site. But these male fishwives gave it up when they realized that it was his decision to be happy and it had nothing to do with them.

Kieran still lived his life spontaneously as so much complicated. He even brought the chaos to work with him when, one evening walking away from the kitchen, I am introduced to a stand-off between him and a father-son duo across the counter. The father gives up and walks away, but his 50-year old son decided to stay and defend his family honor. A verbal firing match ensues between the son, Kieran, and another kid DeGennaro.

“Leave right now. If you don’t like it, go talk to the manager” said Kieran’s ally.

“I don’t need to talk to the fucking manager!” the son fired back.

This is what I run into. The shot heard around the store stopped half the shoppers dead in their tracks. The commotion lasts around two minutes before the duo splits and everyone else in the store moves on with their lives. Kieran frantically tells me the whole story while riding a 90 mile-an-hour heartbeat. All he did was make a joke with the father, but the son took it a little too seriously. Obviously Kieran was shaken. Eventually the order was sealed and delivered to the father, and Kieran & Friends resumed their duties. It was over.

..or so we thought. Thirty minutes later, someone pays us a visit.

“Which one of you guys just disrespected my father? I want to know. NOW.” A vicious and angry daughter of the family, complete with a Long Island circus seal dialect, was looking for some heat. It was about to go down.

My co-workers and I were caught off-guard not only because we didn’t expect it, but with such venom and razor-sharp veracity towards us. I kept my mouth shut as one of my guys denied himself. And then we have Kieran, who slipped and gave himself away.

“It was YOU!” The daughter fingers him as the fire-starter with a big bolt of lightning.

“My father who is mentally ill and had just come out of the hospital was looking forward all day to go shopping. How would YOU like it if someone disrespected YOUR father?”

This woman had absolutely no shame as she turned the entire market into a one-woman pageant with her trash talk-show performance. She reduced Kieran to a young deer in truck headlights as she constantly threw verbal punches, not allowing him one single opportunity to defend himself let alone say a complete word. All the customers, cashiers, and bystanders froze in their tracks to see this loudmouth stereotype completely fly off the handle. Soon after, our manager / ex-police officer Doug comes over and attempts to perform animal control to calm the beast down. As he nods his head to try and reason with the lady, she calls him out with a big “you don’t care!”, walks away from him and out of the store, thus declaring herself that day’s winner and champion.

And all that Kieran ever did was told a joke to her father.

**********

It took two weeks before Kieran was let go. Being an hour-and-a-half late did him in, or so we believe. I had nothing bad to say about him. My co-worker friends think otherwise. They were considered normal compared to Kieran and his silly antics that he brought to the table. No one knows where he is now and no one cares unless they wanted to discuss how fucked up he was, a customer reminded us again.

“So how was it working with Kieran?” says an older man stopping by for an order. We all turned around wondering how he knew such a thing. DeGennaro gave him a total timetable of two weeks and he was right.

“Two weeks? I’m surprised he lasted that long!” says the old man. We all laughed because it was true. “I’ve known Kieran since he was born. Man, that kid’s a short bus!”

We all burst out laughing. DeGennaro had a curiosity, and stepped up to the plate.

“So, how’s his mom doing? I heard she recently had a heart attack” he inquires.

“What heart attack? She never had one!” said the man.

“Wow…must’ve been a miraculous recovery!” DeGennaro was surprised.

We all turned to each other wondering how Kieran could ever do such a thing. We all declared this an unforgivable cardinal sin for Kieran to fake his mother’s death and to lie about his own family like that. We were all swindled.

[percontaion-points]

Let’s Read: Readict “Not Rejected Just Unwanted”, parts 2-5

Yesterday, after having read the first chapter, I talked with my friend who turned me onto the app. She also downloaded it and started reading the story too. “If you sneeze, you'll miss the entire thing,” she said.

Maybe I should do more than just one chapter at a time? I guess that I'll see how I'm feeling, and how much the app lets me read!

Chapter 2

So following that encounter, Raine no longer felt like attending school. Like... bitch, nobody wants to attend school. You can't just ditch simply because...???? Reasons. But her teachers give her her school work for the day, and she goes to sign out. Which she can apparently do at this magical werewolf school where students can just ditch whenever they fucking feel like it.

However, as she's leaving the building, she's randomly ganged up on by a group of people. They surround her and start beating the shit out of her. Obviously, they have a reason for doing this, but Raine insists that she doesn't know what they're talking about. Lovely.

They're stopped by a mystery man, who helps Raine inside to the school doctor. Raine is having difficulty seeing, thanks to her beating, but when her vision miraciously clears as soon as she's inside, she's surprised to see that it's “Alpha” Jonathan Nelson. Aw, I'm disappointed that it isn't the name of another random celebrity.

Anyway, as you might expect, after having taken a beating like that where she literally lost her ability to see, the doctor says that he can't treat Raine there, and she needs to go to the hospital. Apparently, everybody here is a werewolf, and he doesn't say “the hospital”. No, he says “the werewolf hospital”. Because there's apparently a fucking difference.

Raine somehow thinks that she's in good condition to drive, but Jonathan (I fucking refuse to call him Alpha) says no, and physically picks her up and puts her over her shoulder, like the petulant child she is.

Just then, Frodo shows up and demands to know what's going on. To be fair... if I see a man carrying a woman who's bloody and bruised, I'm going to be asking a lot of questions, too.

Chapter 3

Jonathan tells Elijah that he's trying to take Raine to the “pack doctor”, that she was jumped by several others outside. Elijah wants to take her instead, and tells Jonathan to get to class. I HAVE SO MANY QUESTIONS. WHY IS NOBODY ASKING WHY THIS KID WAS JUST WANDERING AROUND IN THE MIDDLE OF CLASSES?! WHY WAS A GIANT GROUP OF STUDENTS WAITING OUTSIDE TO JUMP RAINE?! IS THERE NO LAW IN THIS SCHOOL?! IS THIS SET IN THE WILD WEST OR SOMETHING?!

Anyway, Raine continues to insist that she can drive herself to the hospital. But the second that she's put down on the ground, she falls. Jonathan grabs her again, and insists to Elijah that he should get back to class.

Outside in Jonathan's car, Raine asks about her own truck. Jonathan insists that he'll get Elijah to drive it back home for her. And then he asks for Raine's name.

They go to the hospital, where they say that she has a bunch of broken bones, randomly sprained her wrist, and a concussion. Nobody says shit about lacerations, which Raine herself mentioned in the story earlier when she said that her lip was busted up and that it hurt to smile and talk. Furthermore, they don't say anything about having run any tests other than to just simply look at her. With injuries like broken ribs, it's likely that she has some insanely serious internal injuries. And honestly, those can be way worse than external ones, because they can get deadly if not found. (Hey, when I'm not watching crime dramas, I'm watching medical dramas.)

Also this: “Well she doesn't seem to be healing properly, so we'll have to run some tests to see.” [sic]

NOT HEALING PROPERLY?! BITCH, THIS HAPPENED... WHAT?! 10-30 MINUTES AGO?! I know in a lot of stories, werewolves can heal fast. But nowhere in this story is a healing factor mentioned at all!

Furthermore, why the fuck did nobody at the school call the police? Not only for the group of lawless teenagers running around and beating the shit out of unsuspecting people, but because this girl has some insane injuries. Not even the school doctor who assessed THAT THIS GIRL SHOULD GO TO THE GODDAMNED HOSPITAL once mentioned actually calling for a goddamned ambulance.

But then again, maybe they don't have a pack ambulance.

Not even five seconds after the doctor assessed Raine, she tells Jonathan that he should get back to school. He insists that it's fine. But then he asks what's up with her and Elijah. She tries to deflect the issue, but Jonathan calls her out on her lie, and she confesses that the two of them are mates.

Chapter 4

Jonathan is surprised to hear about Raine and Elijah. But Raine said that Rose will never find out, because “he doesn't want me”. Even though I'm pretty sure that Raine was the one who pushed Elijah away, but you know. Drama for the sake of drama. There is no point about any of this, but at least with a girlfriend for the mate, then there's some problem that needs to be overcome.

She also mentions that she asked Elijah not to flat-out reject her today because it's her birthday.

Oh, and the doctor “draws some blood” and does an ultrasound. Raine doesn't like needles because she once saw a scary movie where the bad-guy used a needle and it was scary! And like... I get it. Needles aren't fun. But do you want to know what is the literal goddamned worst? DYING OF INTERNAL INJURIES. Although, how the fuck is anybody supposed to figure out if she's got an internal bleed or not by doing a goddamned blood test? I mean, the ultrasound will figure some things out, but come on.

But anyway, Jonathan thinks that Elijah “rejecting” Raine is what's causing her to not heal. He says that he lost his mate, and knows how it feels. He also feels sorry for her, and says that she deserves better.

Jonathan then randomly asks where her friends are. IN CLASS, BITCH. IT'S THE MIDDLE OF THE GODDAMNED MORNING. WE ALL CAN'T JUST SKIP CLASS TO DO WHATEVER THE FUCK WE FEEL LIKE, YOU KNOW.

But because she's the woefully distraught teenage protagonist, Raine says that she doesn't have friends. This just ups her sympathy level in Jonathan's eyes. He says that he wants to be her friend, because he knows what it's like to have lost a mate.

The doctor then gives Raine something that will help her boost her healing abilities. Well, at least some of this is explained. But I wish that the story had actually bothered to tell us some of it before it was just randomly tossed in there. A little context would have been fucking nice, but whatever. But it really helps Raine to feel a lot better, and she's able to get back to Jonathan's car on her own. She's just coherent enough to hear him mutter “so cute” before she passes out from the drug.

Because of course there's going to be a goddamned shitty love triangle.

Chapter 5

And hey! Do you guys know what could possibly make this story BETTER?! Randomly switching the first person POV to Jonathan's! Which is a huge clue that he's going to be the end-game love interest.

Honestly, I used to read fics like this when I was 12. The only difference is that I fucking grew out of wanting to read poorly written trash like this.

After texting Elijah to bring Raine's car around later (and she randomly left her keys in the car, because that's fucking normal...), Jonathan then sits and thinks about Raine. She's so nice! I can tell from the two second conversation that we had!

I get that it would make anybody angry to see the end result of a gang fight like that, with so many people against one person. But at the same time, Jonathan will not shut the fuck up about how “nice” Raine is, even though like... how the hell would he even really know?

He then thinks about the shit situation Elijah is in with Rose. Jonathan had warned Elijah not to date before finding your mate, but Rose had manipulated Elijah to be with her. According to Jonathan, Rose is a lying bitch who manipulates and uses people. Which... yep. Book went there. And let's just say that Elijah refuses to acknowledge any of this about Rose, because he's... uh... probably thinking with not the brain in his head, if you catch my drift.

AND OH MY GOD. THE FORMATTING IN THIS IS JUST AWFUL. WHO THE FUCK TOLD THIS PERSON THAT THEY COULD FUCKING WRITE?!

Jonathan eventually gets to... who the fuck knows. He didn't even fucking know Raine's name until like an hour earlier. Neither did Elijah, I might add (this is for later). Jonathan goes back to thinking about how much Raine's situation with Elijah and Rose is going to suck, because Raine is going to go into heat. AND OH MY GOD. IF THERE IS SEX IN THIS BOOK, I WILL PROBABLY HUNT DOWN THE AUTHOR AND HURT HER.

Elijah shows up as Jonathan starts to take Raine inside from the car. Elijah starts to get insanely pissy about how Jonathan is holding her. However, Jonathan only heard from Raine about how she rejected Elijah, but twisted the story to make her seem like the victim in all of this.

Oh, and they're not at Raine's house. Apparently, all of the teenage werewolves live in a place called “the packhouse”, where they go to be with their mates once they find them. The parents live downstairs, or in stand-alone houses elsewhere in the town.

Jonathan takes Raine up to his room, because... that's not fucking creepy at all. He covers her up, and is about to leave, when she begs him to stay. Because of course she does. And then Jonathan randomly decides that he's going to protect her, no matter what.

And I'm out. This is about as much as I can take in one sitting. Goodbye.

[paladin-of-nerd-fandom65]

Taking Action

FINALLY. Months of writer’s block and my typing laptop’s battery finally dying, my next chapter in the Mary Grayson Talon story is here. Call this a very late Christmas present for you all. 

Constructive criticism is always welcome.

@lightdusk96 @fireflyxrebel @tarisilmarwen @nightglider124 @robxstar , Thanks for everything, you beautiful bastards 

As the Xenothium factory hummed down below from her rooftop position, The Talon lets a breath that shows itself as a little cloud of fog courtesy of the cold air. Red X was in position, as he signaled bird clad warrior,

“Alright ma’am, I’m rolling up to the front doors.”

“Ok, so far so good. I guess I’ll be making my way around then.”

“Before you do anything though, remind me again how this can put a dent on these Court guys again?

“Easy, the owner of this cooperation is an Owl. I have scared off plenty already but it looks like they’re moving ahead with their little plan and I can’t, I repeat, I CAN NOT risk the Titans or even the candidates for the Mayor get caught in the middle of something I can stop. So letting this one know of what we prove a turning point.”

“How exactly…?”

“In recent years, The Court has been supplying their Talons with Xenothium based weapons, weapons that can pass even through a metal detector without any hassle, in which can only boost their killing power, and bear in mind that power was pretty deadly before I was even there…”

“So take away the big boys’ toys, and they’ll go sulk to their rooms for bed”

“Precisely”, nodded the Talon as she flipped off the last flag pole in her descent from the rooftop and begin making her way to the garbage truck parked outside the Xenothium factory.

As Red X, wearing not his signature suit but rather a simple workers uniform complete with a standard issue cap and convincing fake moustache hanging onto his face, makes his way pushing an entire hand truck’s worth of ‘Xenothium-filled’ barrels into the main entrance, he can’t help but not one puzzling question he has to address before he has to start talking to their workers around him.

“What about Chuckles and his happy little friends?”

As Mary Grayson the Talon knocks out a guard with the bunt end of her knife before dragging his unconscious body to the side, she replies with, “If the Titans or hell even Zucco’s men do take notice and start coming after us, you can get start making a run for the Xenothium and do what you do best.”

“So I’m bait?”

“Bait, who just so happens to have a way out.”

“Oh yeah, there’s you” X chuckles to himself.

Just in time too, for he’s now arrived at the main processing part of the factory itself, numerous machines humming a glorious and thunderous but calm buzz in their atmosphere, the random banging emerging from the top signifying the crushing of individual atoms that give Xenothium its nuclear sting when in use. Next one of these machines, X places one if his four barrels at a spot just close enough but not enough for anyone to take notice as the other barrels next to it are a relatively further distance from the machines. X does this three more times before finally just letting the hand truck go and making his way back to the doors.

“Alright, Ma’am, Phase 1 is a go.”

Mary, now making her way into the factory’s offices towards the owner’s own room, gives a nod and then a reply,

“Ok then, you might want to start dressing up for this party then.”  

Red X couldn’t help but slip a small smirk as he exited the factory since now all it takes is a good signal to get everyone out of the way of what will soon be a firework show on par with that little comic he reads, V for…something, he forgot.

As X made his department into the streets, the Talon had finally reached the door to the owner’s room and to further increase her chances of entering, no guards were present. All she needed now was confirmation of the owner being present inside. Placing her ear on the door, Mary can hear a distinct, rough, almost Russian accent coming through…

“…Yes My Grandmaster. The weapons are almost ready. The night this city shall onto grips will soon come. By this week’s end, the prey of our fierce might will be consumed in the sharp claws of our might. Yes, the Titans will not even know what hits them by the time they even reach…the labyrinth. Those brats will know fear alright. Hail Barbatos.” The phone clicks off as said device was placed on its place. Now was the moment to strike.

With a blazing swiftness, the rouge Talon slips the door open and pins this man, Nikita Jughashvili, onto the wall with some wire sprouting from her knives keep him there. At any minute, she can trigger these wires to discharge a large voltage of electricity onto Nikita’s flesh. But for now, she didn’t want that, at least not yet, for now she wanted to talk.  

“Mr. Jughashvili, I would like to discuss about your business.”

The wealthy man, along a streak of white and grey hair on his sideburns and one glaring brown colored eye with the other just a black orb in its place, just look at his assailant with a bit of shock

before letting it slip into… arrogance out of all things.

“Well, well, well, the golden girl of the Court finally decides to face me directly.”

“Why the smirk, Mister, you do realize of what I can do…”

“Though, I don’t care. Your defection however, intrigues me.”

“How’s that…?” Mary asks, right before being cut off by the sudden whooshing noises right behind her. Next thing she knew, three mores Talons, all in similar uniforms to hers, landed and whipped out their swords. Mary looks back at Mr. Nikita, who now had a nasty smirk growing on his face.

“You did not seriously believe your terrorism against the Court would go unnoticed now did you? Against the power of Gotham’s true fathers, there can be no victory. Do not spoil yourself and your already meaningless life fighting. Reconsider your efforts, simply let me loose from these wires, come upon your knees and say ‘I surrender to my Master with all intent and will forever grovel at his…”

*SLASH*

Nikita Jughashvili had never had a chance to finish his little monologue before Mary Grayson performs a clean yet bloody slice to the disgusting man’s throat, leaving his head to roll to the other Talons’ feet. They took this as their cue to lunge forward with their blades up in front, hoping to impale the rouge right here right now. That decision does not go well as Mary quickly draws her own swords from her back as the battle begins.

In the midst of sword clings and slashes that scratches all four birds, Mary manages to tap unto the communicator on her ear to signal X of the…little side block to their plans.

“Red X, can you hear me?”

“Just strapping on my last and got my handy dandy trigger to distract the…”

“Push that trigger, now!”

“Um…what was that?” Red X asks with a tiny bit of shock.

“It was a step up! They knew what we’re doing!! Check your sides!”

As if on cue, X looks to his left side, narrowly avoiding the sword blade and allowing it to hit the concrete block wall before swinging his leg without his boot on and slamming the Talon right on his head. Oh yeah…classic booby-trap. So one button press later…

Meanwhile…In Downtown Jump

Robin had just secured another tight landing on the neighboring rooftop after about three times in a row of doing such right after a classic grapple hook swing. The patrol had been going on for about three hours by now. Every now and then, a Trade Fed Helicopter would pass by but otherwise no activity had been reported for them. No lead up on his long lost mother, no clue on Slade’s whereabouts, not super criminal robbery, not even a dang small time gang fight. For the most part, the lack of activity both relaxed and infuriated Robin. The normally quiet nights always signaled to him that while having a soothing and calm atmosphere in which he can use to hang out with his friends, something sinister can using this time to plan cunning and damaging schemes that will, not can but will, hurt his friends and the city they’ve defending for years by now.

Both thankfully and regretfully, Robin’s wish for action was fulfilled when a massive explosion both in gunpowder and the red distinctive glow of Xenothium echoed from the Lokiva plant about 10 miles away. Something’s causing trouble, so now he knows who to call.

“Titans, meet me at Lokiva plant, NOW!”

“Roger that!” replied Cyborg

“Understood” replied Starfire

“On my way” replied Beast Boy

“Same here” replied Raven, and finally

“It’ll just take a minute” replied Kid Flash

Two minutes later…Lokiva Xenothium Plant

As all six member of this Titans team land in the outside of the plant, they frankly wish they hadn’t due to the amount of heat generating from the huge fire they see in front of their very eyes. The tall and daunting trees of flame and ash erupting from the building were the stuff of legend in terms of the size of pure destruction they have ever witnessed. On many levels, this flame storm reminds them heavily of Trigon’s ascension onto the mortal plane, and that’s a VERY bad reminding they need.

To their collective relief, fire trucks and police officers were on duty, tending to the numerous workers who’ve escaped and rushing into the towering flames pulling more of those workers out of the fiery maelstrom. That’s where they come. So then, a grand total of thirty minutes and about three back drafts in which would’ve leveled the entire block plus more had it not been for Kid Flash and Cyborg’s quick timing and thinking, and while every civilian was in fact accounted for and safe, now the question becomes very obvious: who started this explosion?

As the firefighters pressed onward dousing the towering flames, the answer became all the more

clear when Robin notices something on the rooftops on top of them all, what seem to be two distinct glowing little lights looking down upon the fire, perching like an owl glaring for its next prey. With an urge to chase down the lights, Robin’s body begins to slightly tense since he knows at the moment that this particular crisis was more apparently than hunting down the Talon. However, the Police Chief running the operation, Chief O Hara, had noticed this anxiousness and walks up to Robin, “We’ll take it from here, whatever you needed for, you can go.”

Robin nearly double takes, ‘But Chief, we can try helping with the…”

But then the good old O Hara places his hand on Robin’s shoulder, “I know the look of when you have something or someone vital to find, sonny. We’ll all be okay.” He finished with s small smirk and a nod

With that, Robin now knows what he and his Team must do and nods too.

“Titans, the firefighters can take it from here. Follow me!”

With that, Mary Grayson begins her chase across the rooftops away from the burning factory. By the time Mary reaches the third rooftop away, the distinct glows of Starfire, Kid Flash, and Cyborg appear rising from edge of the roof she was once on. It was made clear they would indeed follow her until they can get their hands on her. This was precisely what banked on though as she taps until her earpiece, communicating with Red X.

“They’re right behind me and closing,. are you on the spot?”

The feedback had a  tad bit  of static coming through but otherwise fine enough, “Yeah, I’m at the spot. Let me tel you something though, those Talon friends of yours REALLY don’t know the meaning of ‘piss off’”

A small chuckle came from Mary’s end, “Well that’s what they are trained and meant to do. Nut anyways, I’m closing in, stick to the shadows.”

“Gotcha”

The microsecond Mary taps out of her comm link, the distinct yellow lightning of Kid Flash nearly hits her face, indicating a missed punch. With that, she knew where she was now and with one more leap, Mary begins her descent down from her last rooftop and towards the alleyway down below. Barely dodging more of Kid Flash’s attacks and now Starfire’s trademark star bolts as she flips and hops down the building stairs, Mary only now begins to spot some UH 60 Blackhawk helicopters hovering above her and the pursuing Titans, indicating of Boss Zucco’s Trade Federation forces joining in the chase. This quick little speculation was confirmed with  TF troops beginning their own descent via ropes coming out of the Blackhawks.

Finally, the rouge Talon touches the concrete, only to be met on both sides of the alley with opponents she really hadn’t banked on being together. Towards her left were the faceless and well armed TF troopers, all taking aim with apparent now pure shotgun, assault rifle and sub machine gun firepower and red dot lasers out of their aiming sights to ensure accuracy int his nighttime operation. On the opposite end were the Titans, living breathing spirits of strength made into teenage flesh and bone, all led by the one person she considers her dearest love in the whole world. Said love, whipping out his two escrima sticks with tasers at the ends, stared her down as Mary simply stood and stared back.

“Look whatever you are doing has gone far enough” Robin firmly yet loudly enough states with a tad bit a shakiness, “I know what you might be doing might be for the best for me, but the facts are that innocent people are getting hurt and maybe far worse, your little war has turned into full blown terrorist attacks! I-I-I don’t to say it l-l-like that…but you HAVE to stop all of this before more innocents are caught in the…” Robin never had a chance to complete his sentence. Mary simply just raises her hands into the air, dropping her bag unto the ground. Both the TF and Titans were simply…stunned. They didn’t honestly expect that.

They almost certainly didn’t also expect the lone Talon to simply walk up to them, not taking out any of her swords or knives, slightly dropping her hands in front of her, in a submissive position.

“Okay,” the Talon mutters, almost cheerfully, “you can take me in right now.”

“Uh ma’m?” Cyborg questions, his index finger on his left hand rightfully pointing out the swords on her back. Said question was almost immediately answered with the Talon proceeding to unstrap the swords from her, letting them and the belt of throwing knives drop to the ground.

Robin, taking said dropping as his personal cue, puts away his escrima sticks in place of high powered handcuffs. Apparently, his mother wanted them, so why not?

Taking note of the TF troops moving up by a least two steps as they prepare to apprehend his mother, Robin simply raises his hand up,

“We’ve got this.” he says with now absolute firmness behind it.

The troops look at each with expectant questioning looks on their faces. So much questioning so that the lead troop, distinct by his blue/red bandanna underneath his helmet, taps unto his own communicator to talk with the Boss himself. The almost silent atmosphere between the TF and the Titans lasts a grueling one or two more minutes before the lead troop taps his ear piece off.

Beast Boy felt and unnerving sense of what should the right question be at this moment, 'What The freaking hell is actually going on here and what we are doing exactly?!’.

Such a question will have to asked maybe later though, as the lead TF troops signals his squad via

head and hand cues; the Boss said the target was clearly in Titan hands and if we try blowing them away over this, the city officials especially the cops will notice and with all the publicity looking for ANY sort of scandal, big or small, they can use to discredit him, they will use this as their way to do so. Besides if anything, despite his deal with the Court, it’s clear that they weren’t not really so good fellas any and where mostly likely gonna take him out eventually and maybe, just maybe the team he openly bashes in his speeches will be far better as allies at the moment anyways. With the Talon on their hands, maybe they can even get an answer or two out of her without pointlessly torturing her like they would’ve done. So the order was given, “Stand down and just let the kids take the dumb-*ss bird lady anyways.”

With that, the TF begins their climb back up the ropes to their Blackhawks with the last troop to go up giving an unseen glare towards Robin and the Talon before the command of “Come on, Kenny!” from his comrades above in their Blackhawk cue him to take the rope back onto the flying craft.

“So….that was easy.” Kid Flash comments as the Blackhawks fly off and they are left with their bird themed prisoner.

Twenty Minutes Later….Titans Tower Holding Cells…

Mary Elizabeth Llodveski Grayson, now mostly stripped of her Talon gear including her mask and now fitting with most plain clothing that of course exposes her arms, face, and neck of the near grey and blue vein skin albeit with her still shining dark red hair wrapped in a ponytail, takes note of the relatively decent sized but still frustratingly apparent cell being in the shape of an average looking bedroom. More specifically, her own bedroom that she and her late husband John shared during their days as the Flying Graysons, right down to the poster  of their troop on the wall right on top of her bed, the exact same spot she had back at the circus. She guessed her son had some courtesy to make sure she was comfortable in her stay, or rather imprisonment, in their Tower. Not that comfort would matter too much since her mission was accomplished; unbeknownst to both the Titans and the TF at her arrest, Mary had secretly dropped a USB drive unto the ground but at an angle neither side can see it right away. The only one person who knows of this drive was Red X, the politely albeit rough around the edges young man who’ve helped her escape the TF crackdown a few weeks ago and worked with her on covering her assault on one of her targets in this city. By now he should be safe and sound in his secret headquarters (i.e. the Robert Kane slums), USB drive in hand with all the info of what he needs to give the proper warning to both Zucco and most especially her son of what the Court plans to do…

Whoosh

The sliding doors open, revealing a certain red, green and yellow clad vigilante with a black domino mask and steel toed boots as he approaches Mary’s cell door.

“Why did you do it?”

“You mean the surrender part or the destruction of the Xenothium plant? Or even that maiming of that family?”

“All of it and you should know that Mom”

A deep sigh is heard from the other side as Mary gathers her thoughts, “It’s quite easy, Little Robin. A warning. to be specific, the first incident was meant to warn the Court that they will not make their city their own unless they get through me first. The last two things however, were more of their warning to me.”

Robin raises an eyebrow, “What do you mean?”

“Well, i knew it but it’ll be a matter of time before the Court themselves took notice of what was I doing to their members left and right…”

“You mean that little girl whose limbs you shattered and now Mr. Jughashvili’s beheading?”

“And I freely admit my apologies for those two..”

“You better be thankful that we asked the Law and the TF to let us take you into our custody and you’re very lucky you can’t really die again, otherwise given what you’ve done and the type of people after you…”

“It’s okay, it’s okay Little Robin. I understand and frankly I do deserve whatever sort of punishment should be done to me right now and…”

“MOM!” Mary quickly gets stunted into silence.

Realizing his shout, Robin quickly breathes out to collect himself before letting his emotions get the better of him once again. “I’m simply here to ask you about why you surrendered. I can tell there’s something bigger you’re up to and need answers to them.”

“Please mom, you got to work with me here. Whoever’s planning whatever and if it puts innocent lives in grave danger, you HAVE to let us know.”

Mary, knowing of a semi desperation in Robin’s request despite no apparent signs of showing it, looks unto her hands to note, with her streak maiming and killing, it’s quite surprising her morally driven (a fact she’s very proud of) son would demand her the truth without resorting to much more…rougher methods of extracting the information she wants to tell them but couldn’t out of fear for their safety. Given what she knows now and the building pressure in the atmosphere, well might as well spill the beans.

“The Court of Owls are preparing for a certain night. Maybe later this week or even tomorrow, they are readying their finest assassins and soldiers into an all out assault. ”

“What soldiers?”

“Every Talon that’s not me, they’ve probably shipped about at least tens to hundreds of them here from Gotham probably just today. The Lokiva Plant was run by a well member of the Court, secretly crafting and preparing Xenothium  weapons that these Talons can use.”

“For their attack? Mom, what kind of night are talking about here because it sounds like something we should’ve prepared for months by now.”

“They’ve prepared this night, A Night of the Owls, for months actually, a contingency should one of their own turn his back on them as they secret convert this city and its criminal underground into their own. Granted, they never had total control of even Gotham even when you were little, given the amount of villains that hellhole already has…”

“The point?”

“By at least the end of this month from now, a full entire Private Army of assassins like me but without any thought of their own will target ANYONE that can stand in their way of claiming this city as their own.”

“Anyone? As in whoever’s running the city?”

“Along with whoever’s running to take charge like Zucco and especially it’s resident self proclaimed protectors.” Mary finishes somewhat mournfully given who she means with that last statement.

“You mean us.”

“(sniff) Pretty much yes. And it’s all my fault. Had I not thought of you and rebelled. I would’ve made sure none of this happened. I should’ve long dead by now. I should’ve let that fall just finish me off and I could’ve known you were going to be in good hands instead of the Court’s. (sob) God damn it all. (sob) Have could’ve been so God damned stupid?! How could I..?!”

Mary abrupt found herself cut off a sudden tightening around her chest section. Looking around her was the notable red tunic her son wears on duty now wrapped her as his arms were wrapping around her. Mostly one of the Graysons’ trademark 'cool down’ hugs they would give to each other whenever their own goes through emotional distress, like what she was.

As Robin finishes his cool down hug to his mother, his Mama, he quietly steps back outside her cells and gently closes her door before finally collecting himself to speak.

“Whatever comes our way, we’ll take it down. We will not let this city fall as far as we are concerned.”

Mary remains silent in near wonder of her son’s determination that she can clearly her.

“If we can beat a madman who went as far as torturing me on a mental level literally whenever I was in the dark, an entire of school of egotistical kids who want to be criminals or even the Devil himself and save our friends numerous times in the process, we can beat these Talons and this Court. The Court are just enough group of bad guys. They just so happen to be a little grey around the edges.”

“Can you?”

“We will Mom. And once the Court are beaten, no matter what night it’ll be, we’ll find a way.”

Noticing her son’s valiant determination in his little speech, Mary feels something else besides the usual Mother’s Love and pride at work work…something rather more on her mind..something that says to her “Yeah, you didn’t really need to do all of this, but this is your chance to free yourself from these criminals and live a new life outside”…something that says confidence in her future ahead,,,something that let’s her know it’ll work, no matter if it’s the hard way or not, it’ll all work out in the end…something that says…hope.

Yeah..that was it…hope. And her son gave it, of course he would, he is her Little Robin after all.

Epilogue : Robert Kane Slums

As Red X entered his abandoned house/HQ via the secret window, he checks his belts for signs of that dang stick of plastic Mrs. Talon made such a fuss earlier that day to make sure he got once she was taken in by Chuckles and his friends.

Quickly noting the USB drive safe and sound and making his way to his little laptop, X turns on the little computer as he pulls off the skull like mask of his face , letting loose his black hair with a white streak on the front end and his near pale skin, with a notably 'J’ mark on his right cheek so said facial features can breathe in fresh air as the laptop loads.

As the laptop screens finally shows and the USB given by Talon in secret registers, one note file appears, “WARN THEM ALL; ASSEMBLE THE TITANS”. Clicking open the file, X couldn’t find himself both amused and even alarmed of what was being loaded onto his screen.

'Ofelia Garibaldo, City Manager.’ 'Tina Polanski, Jump Public Advocate’ 'Slade Wilson, Criminal Mastermind and Former Mercenary for the League of Shadows and United States Government’ 'Jason Haywood Todd, Local Thief known as the Red X’ The names went on, up to probably a thousand and growing by the time the file was halfway done.

On yeah, this was big. X might not be a hacker or expert of sneaking onto Titans lines by any means…but he knows he has to…given what the birds here are going to do. Better act fast though.

Meanwhile, Jump Civic Authority Party Headquarters, Downtown

“You heard me right guys. I quit.”

“Certainly, you must be joking of such. No single man dares to defile a deal made with us and expect no consequences as a result,”

“Oh I know, I’ll get consequences. I’ll be expecting those birdies or yours to barge in my office and saying the usual 'The Court has sentenced to die’ shtick maybe while I’m doing some paperwork or listening to ave maria while trying to perform urinating in my toilet upside down out of boredom on the day you’re ready. Frankly, I can’t even give a damn if I try with sincerity.” Zucco states as his cigar smoke reaches the ceiling fan as the hologram call from the masked Owl glares him down as if he was on spot, given said hologram showing the man in his appropriate size when faced for real.

“You shall pay for this defiance.’

"I paid for plenty in my life, Paid for stuff i didn’t even do. The fact of the matter is that I didn’t get your Talon and you probably going to take me out once I was elected anyways. The deal was off the minute she got away from my boys twice by now. So yeah, bottom line is, it’s off and you better have enough Talons to try to get me when this 'Night’ thingie blows over. IF push comes to shove, I’ll fight alright. Screw you guys, I’m staying at my new home.”

“YOU WILL-”

“Ah ,ah. Screw you guys.”

Thus Zucco hangs up and the Owl’s hologram fades out.

“Come and get me. I dare you”

[naughtyneganjdm]

The Mistress - Chapter 17

Summary: The OC (reader) decides that they have had enough of The Sanctuary and they are going to attempt to leave while away on a run with Simon....

Characters: Reader (OC), Simon, Negan & Michael

Warnings: Swearing & some angst 

AO3 Link: http://archiveofourown.org/works/9366677/chapters/26168232

Tags: @jasoncrouse @ronweaselz @hiddlesdowneyjr @ali-pennell @melodicdolls @namelesslosers @deepsouth @shanaatjelove11@warriorqueen1991 @caitydestroys @acklesdowneyandhiddles-ohmy@jaylaelizabethw @prettyepiic @negans-dirty-girl @mamaredd123 @jdmsgal @alyisdead @memphisgirl1977 @negans-network @freaktesque @cannedpicklenumber1 @karaokke @hughxjackman @jaylaelizabethw @jmackie1983 @jenniegs @amy-2496 @daddy-kink-confirmed @jdmfanfiction@jml509 @nijiru @xnegansgirlx @dontblink94  @crzcorgi  @deadlymistress24  @babyblues915 @fxcking-negan @keithmoonmoon @fvshvncvnt  @ask-kakashihatake @esmerhya @carrter5  @that-darn-kid @yellatthetopofyourlungs @wolfgirl1074 @ryangoslingstanktop @myheart4ever47 @telltheking-cassetoi @xabeautifultragedyx @omgalittlebitofeverything @collette04 @themightyblur @multireality @mochiartemisa @aquamarine7474 @snow-leopardfetishist @kawaiispacepriincess *As always, please let me know if you want to be added to the tags or if you want to be taken off! -- I kind of merged my tags to make things easier for me here, if you want to be taken off certain stories, please let me know!*

“What’s the bag for?” Simon questioned when you moved out of The Sanctuary after you had been told that you were going to be going on a run with Simon and his crew. You pulled your backpack over your shoulder tighter and saw Simon eyeing it over closely. “Whatcha got in there?”

“Just some water,” you lied, pulling the bag away far enough to keep it out of his sight. Simon watched you closely for a moment and it seemed like he was trying to decipher whether you were being honest or not.

Sadly, Simon knew you pretty well and it was hard to lie to him. Your friendship, if that’s what you even would call it had developed quite a bit over the last few weeks. A heavy breath escaped his lips when he reached up to brush his hand throughout his hair and you nodded.

It had been a couple of days since you told Negan that you couldn’t keep up what the two of you had going on. You hadn’t really interacted with Negan much other than when you had to do something to work for him, but it was rare. It was hard being around Negan because you could tell that you hurt him when you told him that you didn’t want to keep up with their relationship anymore. You didn’t think it was possible to ‘hurt’ Negan, but every time his eyes had met yours, there was something in his eyes that told you he was miserable. When you had put an end to things, you imagined the nightly dinner meals would stop too, but oddly enough—they didn’t. Every night there would be a knock at your door and when you went, no one would be there, but there would be a bag of food. So even though you had asked Negan to leave you completely alone, he hadn’t. He was still supplying you with food to keep your healthy and strong which confused you more. At this point you had though Negan would be back to hating you, but it wasn’t happening and your mind was completely twisted with your own thoughts.

You had spent more time with Simon that you had normally wanted to do, but it was the only way you could keep your mind off Negan. That’s why when you lied to Simon; you had to change the subject. It was hard lying to someone you actually considered your friend. “So what are we doing?”

“We’re going out to an area that the last time we went was surrounded by walkers. Now it seems like they have left and we are going to go and check out the area. See if there is anything out there worth bringing back,” Simon informed you with a small smirk and you nodded. Simon looked around for a moment before reaching for the knife that he had attached to his belt. He handed it out to you and you looked down at it with an odd expression. “You’re going to need to be safe out there.”

“I’m not sure Negan would be okay with that,” you looked down to the sheathed knife and shook your head slowly. “I can’t take that. If he found out about it, he would get pissed at you and me. I don’t want that. I got my gun taken away; I don’t think he’d be happy with me having a knife.”

“Then give it back to me when we get back,” Simon suggested with a heavy sigh and you reached out cautiously to grab a hold of it before watching him reach up to caress over his mustache. Looking up, you could see toward the back of one of the trucks, there was an older man standing with Michael and they both seemed to be staring at you. When they noticed you were watching them too, the older gentleman turned Michael away. When Simon noticed you make a face, he turned to look. “What?”

“That guy there, who is that?” you looked over at the older gentleman. There were several men whispering amongst the group and you found yourself taken back by how odd the interaction seemed to be. Something seemed familiar about the man that kept staring back at you, but you weren’t quite sure what it was. “He’s looking at me like I know him, but I don’t.”

“Oh, that’s Randy. He was part of Michael’s group when we brought Michael here. Unlike Michael, he learned the ways pretty easily,” Simon informed you as he wrapped his arm around your shoulders while you watched the two men getting into the back of the truck. “Why do you ask?”

“I don’t know, I was just getting a weird vibe,” you sighed heavily and moved forward toward the trucks while you hooked the knife Simon had given you up to your belt.

The sound of Simon whistling at you caused you to stop and look over your shoulder. He waved you in closer to him and when you saw him pulling open the door to the front of the truck, you gave him a sideways look. “You’re going to sit up here with me.”

“Are you sure about that?” you muttered with a heavy sigh and he nodded, a bright smile pressing in over his lips. “Alright…”

Most of the ride, the two of you had stayed quiet between each other, but Simon would make a random comment off and on. Looking down at the bag between your feet, you knew it was some of the things that you had that were yours. You were planning on leaving. As soon as you got time alone, you were going to take off and leave. After all that Negan had pulled and after realizing that you could no longer take being around Negan and not being able to be with him, you were done trying to make it at The Sanctuary. You weren’t sure where you were going to go, but you were going to try and head back to Alexandria. Maybe they would be willing to take you back and you could have a chance with maybe helping them get Daryl out without people dying from either side. You weren’t trying to give Simon the hint that you were leaving. You were trying to act as normal as possible.

“I have a question and if this is too personal, please let me know,” Simon looked over at you from the driver’s side of the truck. His eyes were closely watching you as he saw you starting out at the nature around you. You weren’t trying to draw attention to yourself, but he wouldn’t stop staring at you. Damn. “Did you really love Negan?”

“Does that matter anymore?” you retorted with a small snicker and you could see him shrug before looking back to the road again. You looked down at the large hunting knife that Simon had given you and his question made you think things over. You promised Negan that you wouldn’t tell people about the secret relationship that the two of you had for weeks, but it still hurt. You wanted to know if Negan cared as much as he acted over that time period. “Does he talk about me?”

“Does that matter anymore?” Simon answered with a bit of sarcasm in his tone, trying to give you the same kind of answer that you gave him. Your eyebrows arched up and a smile pressed in over the corners of your lips. You should have been annoyed with him, but his ridiculous expression made your attitude lighten up a bit. “He does care about you, you know that right?”

“Oh, he’s very good at showing it,” you rolled your eyes and looked around the unfamiliar area. Negan told you that he cared for you and you wanted to believe him so badly, but at the same time didn’t know what to believe. When you looked outside of the truck, there were walkers in the distance and you could see that they were pretty separated. Not many of them were out in the field, but there were still a few to be cautious of. “He’s a fucking asshole.”

“Won’t deny that, but he only did what he did because he has…issues,” Simon sighed and you could tell that he was trying to think of the right way to sell what happened with Negan. Simon seemed caught up on telling you something as well and you could see him shift uncomfortably in the seat. It was the same kind of thing you had seen with Negan when he was trying to explain to you the way he was acting. “When people question his strength and his leadership, he thinks stupidly. Negan’s taken care of a lot of people. At the beginning of when this shit storm started, he got close to those people. All of those people died, so he kind of has a hard time showing emotion. He tells himself that if he gets attached, people are going to die. So that’s why he pushes those he cares about away.”

“I’m hearing this from you Simon and not him, why should I believe this?” you pointed out, letting out a tight sigh when you thought about Negan. What Simon was saying made sense, especially when you thought about the things that Negan had said to you one of the nights he was having a nightmare along with what he told you during one of the most recent nights. “I’d like to think that there was good in Negan, but he’s cold. What he did to me was harsh.”

“Oh, I’m not saying he doesn’t deserve a swift kick to the balls,” Simon admitted, making a small laugh escape your lips when you thought about Negan’s right hand man talking about him that way. If you could only tell him that you accidentally did kick Negan in the balls. Unfortunately that would alert Simon to the fact that the two of you had been spending time together when no one was around. “I’m just saying Negan is severely messed up. You see he had a w…you know what, nope. Not my place to tell.”

“And I won’t force you to,” you shrugged and thought about all that he had told you thus far. It was a deeper look into Negan, but it still didn’t stop the pain and anger that you had toward Negan. Negan made you fall in love with him all over again and basically told you it had to be a secret. That was hard. “I get what you are doing Simon and thank you.”

“Anytime,” Simon reached out with his right hand to pat you on the knee softly while his left kept a firm hold of the wheel.

You felt the sensation of his hand grabbing a tight hold of your knee and it seemed like he wasn’t about to let go. Reaching up, you pressed your hand over his and pat it softly before clearing your throat uneasily.

“Simon?” you breathed out knowing that he seemed to be getting a little too touchy with you lately as it was. When Simon realized you were uncomfortable, he pulled his hand from your leg and nodded slowly. After Negan had mentioned that Simon liked you like he did, you found yourself extremely uncomfortable when he would touch you like that. “We almost there?”

“Mhmm…” Simon bit into his bottom lip and nodded toward the road. “Just a couple of miles this way.”

It was a while, but eventually you hit a small town that seemed pretty abandoned. There were a few stray walkers, but Simon had sent out some of The Saviors while he was getting things ready at the back of the truck. While waiting for Simon, you felt someone moving in behind you and you jumped at the closeness. You reached for your knife that Simon had given you until you saw Michael standing behind you with his hands thrown up in the air.

“You just scared the hell out of me,” a panicked breath escaped your lips when you released the blade and saw the frown that was over Michael’s lips. “What now?”

“No, I get it. I wouldn’t want to see my face either,” Michael confessed, reaching up to press his dark hair out of his face when he realized you weren’t going to attack him. There was silence between the two of you as he dragged his hand across his face that had a heavy amount of stubble over it. It was a different look for him, but you could tell that he meant you no harm right now. “I wanted to say I was sorry. I was being an ignorant, childish person toward you the other day. I shouldn’t have talked to you like that and I understand why you hit me. You should have done worse.”

“I should have, you’re right,” you nodded with a heavy scowl and he folded his arms out in front of his chest. “I know you hate Negan, but I’m not Negan.”

“I know and I took unnecessary shit out on you and it was wrong,” Michael apologized again before looking back toward the group that was already starting their search. Michael looked over his shoulder and at the opening of one of the stores you could see Randy staring out at the two of you. The look the man was giving the two of you caused you to let out an uncomfortable noise. “I should get going, but I did want to tell you I was sorry. I don’t think you are a bitch or a slut. I just think you are a strong willed woman that people sometimes take wrong. Which is totally a positive thing I’m saying here, I just don’t think. I get upset at times and my mouth doesn’t have a filtering system.”

“Your body won’t have a filtering system if you don’t get back to work,” you heard Simon’s threaten Michael before pressing in behind you as you could see Michael’s green eyes narrowing out at Simon. Looking over your shoulder, you could see that Simon had a shotgun thrown over his shoulder and was staring out at Michael with an angered expression. “Now get your big ass out there and start searching.”

“That was nice,” you huffed at Simon when Michael moved to the store where Randy was and they both disappeared inside. “Jesus Simon, he was trying to apologize to me.”

“Sure he was,” Simon rolled his eyes and looked toward the store that Michael had disappeared into. “That guy has been a pain in the ass since day one. Big enough to be a real life superhero, but has the personality of a punk ass bitch.”

“Are you checking Michael out?” you teased him, reaching back to elbow him in the stomach hearing a grunt escape his lips when he looked down at you.

“Don’t hit a man with a shotgun over his shoulder. I could have blown someone away,” Simon feigned being hurt as you started moving away from the truck. “You want to come with me? We can look at things together, I’ll keep you safe.”

“I can take care of myself,” you assured him, moving over toward one of the stores.

You stayed close to the front window to watch and make sure that Simon took off in a different location before heading back toward the back of the store. Taking the exit at the back of the store, you could see that there was a large wooded area behind the small town. Taking off in that direction, you thought that maybe cutting through there would get you to a road that would help get you back to Alexandria.

Pushing through the weeds and the bushes, you continued to walk straight ahead hoping that it would lead you somewhere. The sound of something moving in behind you caused you to turn quickly on your heel before catching the branch that was at your feet. Falling to the ground in a thud, you saw that a walker was over you and it started to drop down. Reaching up, you tried to keep your hand up in over its chest to keep it away from you. Using your free hand, you tried to keep yourself distanced while your other hand tried pulling out the knife that Simon had given you.

“Son of a bitch,” you could feel the forcefulness of the walker pushing in over you. It was chomping its mouth together, low groans escaping its throat. Blood was dripping from the melting flesh that was over its jawline and you let out a disgusted sigh. “Please…please…”

The sudden movement of someone pushing the walker off of you made you let out hesitant breath when you felt someone pulling the knife out from your pants and you looked to see Simon stabbing the walker in the head. You let out an unnerved sound when Simon looked back at you with an angered expression.

“Shit…” you grumbled heavily, seeing his chest rising and falling heavily when he moved over to try and help you up. You let out a wince, when you looked down to see that the branch had caused a deep gash over your ankle. There was blood gushing from your skin and you felt Simon pulling you up to him. “I can’t believe you followed me.”

“You’d be fucking zombie food if not for me,” Simon reminded you with a displeased look and you let out a dramatic breath. “What the fuck were you think coming out here like this? You were going to try and take off, weren’t you?”

“What does it matter if I want to leave Simon? I want to get away from The Sanctuary, I want to get away from Negan,” you answered truthfully, seeing the way that Simon arched his eyebrow up and shook his head slowly. “I don’t think that’s a bad request.”

“Negan would kill me if I didn’t come back with you,” Simon informed you with a frown, reaching up to caress over the back of his neck. “You cared about me getting in trouble from you getting the knife, but you are okay with me getting my ass killed when I come back and there is no you?”

“He’ll be fine without me Simon,” you insisted, your voice raising as you saw Simon start to pull open the buttons of his shirt and you gave him an odd expression. You ignored his motions and continued to rant about Negan while you watched him. “What he did a while back was vicious and it hurts being there seeing him that way…”

“Right, I’m sure you totally hate him,” Simon made an exaggerated noise and you rolled your eyes. Seeing him pull open his shirt, you looked over his ripped body and let out a heavy exhale. Simon was absolutely jacked and ripped, something that you didn’t expect at all.

“Holy shit Simon,” you breathed out looking over his chiseled abdomen, feeling your cheeks blush over when you saw him pull his shirt from his body. You looked him over, seeing his arms flexing when you heard him ripping part of his shirt and you shook your head slowly. “What the hell are you doing?”

“You need something to put on that to stop the bleeding,” he nodded down toward your ankle that was now staining your clothes with the blood. He lowered down to press his hand in over your pant leg to roll up the material and he carefully traced his fingertips over your leg. “I wasn’t trying to get fresh with you.”

“Right,” you gulped down feeling him tying the material of his torn shirt around your ankle and you cleared your throat uneasily. When he stood, you could see the smile that pressed in over his lips when you looked over his broad chest. “You are fucking huge. How the hell do you stay in such good shape when it’s a damn apocalypse?”

“Time and lot of heavy things around The Sanctuary,” he winked and you watched him flex his chest in a teasing fashion before starting to pull the shirt back over his body. You watched him pulling the buttons back together and you shook your head slowly. “So are you still going to attempt to take off on me?”

“I don’t want to be there anymore Simon,” you sighed and you could see him fold his arms out in front of his chest. “Negan has been very cruel and…”

“Right, but…it’s not that bad there. We keep our people safe and…” Simon quickly grabbed a hold of you and pushed you behind him. A gasp escaped your lips when you saw him reach for the shotgun and hold it up. You felt him keeping you firmly behind him when you noticed a group of men coming out from the woods. They all were carrying weapons and you could feel Simon keeping you close to him. “I would back off right now if I were you.”

“We would do that,” the man in the middle spoke, moving closer to the two of you and that’s when you noticed that you and Simon were surrounded. Simon tried keeping his body firmly in front of yours as he spun the gun around to point it at the other men coming in closer to you. “But you are snooping through our home…”

“We were just leaving,” Simon tried to suggest and you could see the men were still surrounding you. “We were lost and about to leave.”

“Well that’s a damn near shame,” the man spoke as he pushed his long hair over his shoulder. His whole group was very dirty and it looked like they had been in the woods a very long time. “It seems like the two of you may be with a very well off group. Would they be willing to make a trade for the two of you?”

“It’s just the two of us,” Simon lied and you felt someone grabbing a tight hold of you from behind. Gasping out, you watched Simon stumble to try and grab you, but someone grabbed a tight hold of him and knocked him to the ground heavily. You could feel a large hand wrapping around your jawline and let out a disgusted sound when you smelled the man behind you.

“Ray…this sure looks like the pretty lady we are supposed to be looking for. I think we should have fun with her first,” you felt the edge of a knife pressing in over your jawline and you whimpered out when you felt it slightly breaking the skin. “I’m guessing their group is the one that’s scavenging the city right now. They are early and I didn’t think she would be so damn easy to find…”

“Do what you want, but we have to keep her alive until our man shows up. He should be here soon with…” the original man spoke up and without thinking twice, you reached out to grab a hold of the knife that Simon had given back to you. Using your speed, you turned to stab the man behind you in the gut and heard him groan upon impact. You heard the sound of the shotgun going off followed by the grunting of men behind you.

“Simon?” you called out, watching him fighting off one of the men in the group. Another person grabbed a hold of you and you tried desperately to pull yourself away from them. You brought your foot down, stomping into the foot of the man before feeling him shove you forward.

The motion caused you to fall forward, your head connecting with a large rock that was before you and instantly you could feel an extreme amount of pain filling your body. Looking over your shoulder, you saw the man who had pushed you moving in over you.

“Please…” you could feel the warmth of blood pressing in over your forehead and saw the disgusting smile of the man over you. Trying to push your hand up to keep him off of you as you fought him the best you could. When you thought you were about to lose, you let out a gasp when you saw an axe smash into the side of the man’s head. Blood splattered over your body as you turned your head to see Michael standing at the edge of the area with a few other Saviors who you imagined had just heard the gunshots.

You tried to move your body, but you felt the world around you fading over with black and you could see Simon sliding in beside you. He desperately tried pulling you up, but soon everything around you went completely black.

“Where is she?” Negan pushed into the area where Dr. Carson would see his patients. Shoving Michael aside and looking to see that Simon was sitting beside the bed where they had Y/N. Negan tossed Lucille before moving in beside the bed. Simon huffed as Negan dropped to his knees and reached out for her hand holding onto it tightly. “What the hell happened?”

“We went looking for supplies and we were in the woods. We got surrounded by a group,” Simon informed Negan, while he watched Michael stare out at them from the corner of the room. Simon wanted to keep quiet for a moment as they still had Michael there and tried to be as minimal as possible in the details. “She attacked the guy that had a hold of her, giving me the opening to shoot the gun. Michael and Randy came with a group and Michael ended up killing a guy that was trying to attack her and then killing the rest of those attacking us.”

“You saved them?” Negan looked over his shoulder to see Michael nod slowly and Negan sighed heavily. He clutched to Y/N’s hand before nodding slowly. “Thank you. Anything you want…you can have it.”

“No, I’m fine. Thank you. Just the fact that they are safe is good enough for me,” Michael insisted with a sigh and he looked to see Simon giving him an odd expression. Michael stayed a minute longer before leaving the room and Negan gave his attention back to Y/N. Simon limped across the small room to close the door to leave them alone as Negan let out a desperate sound.

“Is she going to be okay?” Negan moved up on his knees to reach out to brush her hair out of her face before caressing his hand over the side of her jawline. “I don’t understand, I asked you to watch her…”

“She has a cut on her ankle that the doctor said was fine. It didn’t need stitches and she just knocked her head pretty good. She’s going to be fine. Her pupils are responding well to light so that means she should be okay,” Simon threw his hands up and he watched the nervousness that spread over Negan’s face. “We need to talk…”

“What?” Negan moved forward to press a soft kiss over Y/N’s temple and Simon moved closer to Negan to keep his voice down. “What is it?”

“When they captured us, the leader of the group said they were looking for a girl that looked like her and that they were waiting for someone to show up before they could do anything,” Simon informed Negan with a deep gulp and he could see Negan’s eyes widening. “I don’t know if that has anything to do with that photo…”

“It’s too fucking convenient Simon, of course it has every fucking thing to do with that photo,” Negan let out an angered breath before looking to Y/N again with a heavy sigh. “This is what I was trying to avoid, this is bullshit Simon! I told you to fucking watch her! This is why I’ve been doing what I’ve been doing. How the fuck did they know that she was going to be there?”

“There is only one thing I can think of,” Simon responded, dragging his tongue out over his bottom lip before nodding slowly making Negan let out a growl of anger. “One of our people had to be telling them we were there. That’s why the photo was in your desk and why…”

“Son of a bitch,” Negan snarled, clutching to Y/N’s hand as he sat beside her on the bed and Simon could see Negan rocking in position that he was in. “I should have never let her out there, I should have protected her myself and…”

“She thinks you fucking hate her…” Simon informed Negan with a firm nod, interrupting Negan from his thoughts and Simon shrugged. “If you felt this way about her, you should have showed her this from the start Negan instead of making her think you hate her.”

“You know I don’t fucking hate her,” Negan snapped, bringing her hand up to his lips to press a soft kiss over the back of it. It was clear that she had kept up to her end of the bargain in not letting anyone know what happened between the two of them over the last few weeks. With Simon lecturing Negan on his attitude toward Y/N, it was clear he didn’t know what had taken place between them. “I did what I did because people want to hurt me. You saw what they’ve done. They came after the person I loved because they knew it would fucking hurt me and you know I’m fucking right. I thought by keeping her away from me that if someone here was fucking with us, that I could protect her. If the fucking rest of The Sanctuary thought I hated her…then she would be fucking safe.”

“First of all, why are you telling me that you love her when you should be telling her this yourself?” Simon let out an annoyed sound and Negan gave Simon a glare before looking to Y/N. “She can stand up for herself, you know that. If you would have told her what was going on instead of going gung-ho with being a total cocksucker, she would have understood and went with the whole thing to keep her safe. She loves you, a fuck ton and you fucking love her too so I suggest when she wakes up, you stop fucking with her. I’m not saying you have to get back with her, but I’m saying stop fucking with her.”

“What’s with the whole telling me what to fucking do here?” Negan snarled and Simon held his hands up, watching Negan lower his head in next to hers as she slept.

“I’m just saying. She’s worth keeping around. She’s a valuable asset. If you don’t get back with her, you should at least get rid of the damn points system for her. It’s stupid and you know that,” Simon stood up from the chair that he was in and moved toward the door. If Simon would have known about their secret romance those few weeks, Simon would have certainly agreed with how Negan was treating her now, but Negan didn’t know who he could trust at this point. “Everyone knows you care about her. Everyone in the fucking Sanctuary. We all know what you did, we all listened to you, but I’m telling you this…we all think things are more fucked up since you did that to her. We all liked you a lot better when you were with her because you actually got shit done. Now you just have a dick up your ass.”

“Watch it Simon,” Negan warned with a hiss and Simon shrugged his shoulders. “If she wasn’t here before me right now, I wouldn’t be extremely happy with what you are saying.”

“No, I get it…” Simon retorted, watching the way that Negan looked down at her again. “I’m just saying, you aren’t fooling anyone. She can take care of herself and she doesn’t need you assuming what’s going to work and what won’t. This may be the only girl that actually accepts that you have multiple wives and accepts that you can still be an asshole, but still loves you. That takes a special person and you are just fucking it all up.”

“What am I supposed to fucking do?” Negan stammered, his voice truly confused as Simon sighed and leaned back against the wall. “This is because of me. You say everyone can still see that I care for her, but what now then? They still came after her when I tried to hide it from the rest of The Sanctuary. What the fuck do I do now? They know I still care and they came after her.”

“Fucking tell her. Fucking protect her and keep her safe. You keep her fucking safe because there is no one in this place better for protecting her than you. If you love her, if you fucking care…then nut the fuck up man,” Simon scoffed heavily and Negan’s eyes narrowed out at Simon before turning to Y/N again. “You love this girl, she’s one tough motherfucker…let her know what’s happening.”

Negan nodded and gulped down heavily, lowering his head in next to hers again as Simon sighed.

“You stay with her and I’ll keep watch,” Simon muttered with a heavy sigh, going to leave until Negan called out to him. “Yeah boss?”

“You aren’t the guy right? The one that led to this,” Negan began and he could see the disgusted look that Simon gave him. “I don’t trust anyone Simon…”

“I almost just died trying to save her. If you didn’t have her first, I would be the one that would take her Negan. I like her, a lot…” Simon headed for the door and shook his head. “And you are my friend. My one fucking friend here, I wouldn’t do that to you…or her.”

Negan nodded before Simon walked out of the room leaving Negan alone with Y/N in the room. Negan stared down at Y/N before carefully moving into the bed beside her. His left arm carefully hooked around her body as he held her close. His right hand caressed over the side of her face while she slept.

“Open those beautiful eyes Y/N,” Negan sighed, tipping in to press his lips softly over her temple. Negan’s voice cracked as he spoke and shook his head slowly. “Fucking please, please…be okay.”

A large amount of pressure filled your head as you slowly began to open your eyes. Looking around, everything seemed blurry, but all you could tell was that there were a lot of bright lights surrounding you. Clearing your throat uneasily, you could feel an extreme dryness in your throat and looked up. Your vision slowly started to get better until you looked to see that Negan was sitting in the chair beside your bed. His arm was up and his head was resting against his hand while he was sleeping. His heavy breathing made you let out a small sound. You were confused. Why was Negan there?

Slowly trying to get up, you let out a pained noise and saw Negan’s eyes begin to flutter open. When he saw that you were struggling, he quickly moved forward to try and help you up on the bed. He helped you press your back against the headboard before he moved to the edge of the bed with you. You felt his fingertips brushing into your hair in a very soothing manner and you cleared your throat uneasily.

“Water?” you questioned seeing him nod and get up to move for something. He searched around before finding a bottle of water and bringing it over to you. You watched him open it for you before helping you drink some of it down. “Is…Simon okay?”

“Simon is fine,” Negan assured you with a heavy breath, reaching out to caress over the side of your face. He cupped your jaw in his hand softly before shaking his head slowly. “You’re always getting into fucking trouble.”

“Funny,” you rolled your eyes, reaching up to press your hand over your forehead to let out a wince when you touched the area that you hit on the rock. Negan’s fingertips urged around yours, pulling your fingertips away with the shake of his head. “Those fuckers attacked us out of nowhere. I tried to stop it from happening, but…”

“Simon told me what you did,” Negan acknowledge what you were saying, his fingertips wrapping tighter around yours and you appreciated the warmth of his body around yours. “You kicked some ass. Now you have to fucking rest. Boss’s orders.”

“Did Simon tell you everything?” you gulped down knowing that Simon knew you were trying to leave. You wondered if he told Negan that when you got back and that it was your fault that you got in that situation to begin with.

“Yeah, he told me you guys were out in the woods looking for supplies,” Negan informed you with a heavy sigh and you suddenly felt very thankful that Simon had some kind of bond with you. One that kept him from telling Negan the truth. “I’m so fucking glad you opened your eyes.”

“Why?” you answered with a bit of venom behind your tone as Negan frowned. You could still feel his fingertips holding onto yours tightly and you shook your head. “I’m nothing to you Negan. So why care?”

“Yeah well…you are still one of my people and I don’t want to see my people hurt,” Negan lied, gulping down heavily as he pulled his fingers from yours and got back up to go sit where he was originally. “I have to keep you guys safe.”

“How long have you been sitting there?” you pondered seeing him shrug and you slowly lowered back down in the bed. Negan continued to sit there and watch you as you turned to look at him. “How long?”

“I don’t know,” Negan answered truthfully, knowing that he had been there since he first came to you. He didn’t want to leave your side, worried that something would go wrong or someone would come to hurt you. “A long time.”

“I…I was really mad at you today Negan,” you began, seeing the way that Negan’s jaw clenched while you continued. Negan nodded and tried to get you to stop worrying about it, but your mind was too focused on what happened. How it was your fault for attempting to leave. You had to be honest with Negan. “I was gonna…I was trying to run away. Simon found me and…there was a walker that almost got me before those people showed up. This is all my fault and I’m so sorry…”

“No, no…” Negan hushed you, moving forward to clutch you softly and pull you into his arms, holding you tightly. You thought he would be mad at you for trying to leave, but he clung to you tightly. “All that matters is that you are okay. I understand, I get it. I fucking get it, but all that matters is that you are safe.”

“You should be fucking furious with me for trying to leave,” you let out a tense breath and could see Negan smile when he pulled away. His eyes looked sad that you were upset and thought that he would likely punish you for trying to leave. You were confused. This wasn’t typical for Negan. You’d seen him attack people for less, but here he was, clinging to you like his life depended on it. “I don’t understand Negan, why aren’t you upset?”

“Because I fucking love you and I could have fucking lost you,” Negan declared, cupping your face in his rough hands and he shrugged his shoulders. His jaw clenched and you could hear the cracking of his voice as he spoke up again. The fact that he just told you he loved you made your heart race and you couldn’t believe that you actually heard that. It almost felt like a dream hearing those words coming out of his lips. Trembling sensations pressed in over your hand and you could see that Negan was getting worked up at the idea of you almost dying. His eyes were developing moisture at the corners and you could begin to feel yourself getting choked up just at the sight of him. “I love you and I don’t want anything bad to happen to you. I understand that I hurt you and made things fucking uncomfortable, but please…just rest. I will explain everything to you when you feel better, but I’m fucking begging, you please just get better.”

“Okay…” you agreed to his begging and laid back in the bed. You could feel the dampness at the corners of your eyes. Looking to the bed beside you, you tapped it softly and motioned Negan to get into the bed with you. “Please?”

“Alright,” Negan nodded with a small smile and he carefully got in the bed with you, reaching out to wrap his arm around you softly. Reaching up, you traced your thumb in over the side of his face feeling like you were on top of the world with hearing what he just told you. His eyes never left yours and it seemed like he was afraid of looking away in fear that something bad would happen to you.

“Did you only tell me you loved me because I almost died today?” you snickered, feeling him caressing throughout your hair while his jaw lifted up to rest at the top of your head. You took a moment of silence between the two of you before lifting your head to look up at him. “Because I would totally understand the heat of the moment…”

“No, I fucking said it because I fucking meant it,” Negan blurt out with a heavy breath and he shook his head slowly. “Fuck girl, I love you. I have for a while and I’m pretty sure you know I’m being honest here. Now please, just get some rest so you can get better. I’ll be here when you wake up. I fucking promise.”