#dorian gonna get some too eventually

[hyperbali]

This seemed to go over well on r/dragonage, so I will also share it over here!

The question was:

Which DA Romances Do You Think Would Be Open To Having Kids?

DAO

Alistair - if he's got that Strong Theirin Bullshit going on, I think he's having a couple kids regardless of if it's with HoF or Anora. He's a great goofy dad but can't discipline worth a damn.

Leliana - Mmh... she would probably prefer to adopt rather than give birth, I think. Even then, she seems more like an auntie than a mother.

Morrigan - Did not ever foresee or want it for herself, but is a pretty decent mom by virtue of not wanting to be like Flemeth. Not a "cool" mom, but would let her kids have their independence.

Zevran - I can only ever see it being on accident, as beforehand he would have absolutely denied it - but once the possibility is in reach, he can't let the idea go. Ultimate Girl Dad.

DA2

Anders - Nope. Back in Awakening he liked his freedom without fetters too much, and over the course of 2 he gets too focused on becoming a martyr. Ain't ever gonna happen.

Fenris - Not something I think he actively wants, but is willing to take responsibility if it happens. He's the kind of stoic dad that it's hard to get an outward reaction from, but he's definitely protective of his kids.

Isabela - HAHA. That's adorable, kitten! (She probably just ends up kind of semi-adopting a galley kid, but in a way one would adopt a stray outdoor cat - leave it to its business.)

Merrill - Kind of taken aback by the idea, but secretly grows on it. I think she'd probably end up more of a mother figure to refugee elves, though.

DAI

Blackwall - Much as it's cute to think of him as a dad, I think what he did with the mercenary company is going to haunt him too much, even if he goes back to being Thom. He's content with the Inquisitor alone.

Cassandra - So long as she's not Divine, she would be willing to consider it - but would only want just one. Hard disciplinarian, but secretly a softie on some occasions.

Cullen - He's gonna end up having to build an entire farm community just to house all the impending kids and dogs. This man wants a BIG FAMILY.

Dorian - The thought of it is instantly repellant to him just on the basis of it having been expected of him for so long. He'd also be quietly terrified of ending up like his own father, hurting his own child while thinking he's doing his best for them... so no, definitely not happening.

Iron Bull - Hadn't ever really thought about it... ever, but if he's Tal-Vashoth, his heart melts when he sees any of his own babies for the first time. Any kid's got him wrapped around their little finger, and a whole host of aunts and uncles in the Chargers.

Josephine - She wants at least two, but preferably three - it simply wouldn't do for any of her children to grow up lonely. Hilariously, she's one of the strictest parents.

Sera - She sort of just wants to keep the Inquisitor all to herself for as long as she can, but if her wife really, really wanted it, she'd shrug and say why not? An alright mom, especially when they're still little, but I think she'd get really frustrated when they hit their teens.

Solas - He would like to say he doesn't wish it were possible, sometimes. He would like to say that.

DAV

Bellara - She would go nuts tracking down every single child-rearing research material she could and generally get herself anxious about it, but she'd turn out to be one of the best moms of the bunch.

Davrin - Willing to adopt after a while, especially once Assan starts getting older and leaving for longer periods of time as he gains his independence. That kiddo is definitely growing up with the best boy bird-cat-dog protector. Bit of a gruff dad, but he means well and can ease up with help.

Emmrich - Either way you shake it, probably not. Either he's content with Manfred and wouldn't want to chance leaving a young child behind when he eventually passes, or he just can't because he's a lich. For the latter, though, I think he'd be a great dadly mentor for the ages.

Harding - The ultimate in mommy cottagecore. TELL me you can't see her hiking through a forest with a bundled baby on her back, a kidlet skipping at her side, singing together as they head back home for the day. Adorable.

Lucanis - Incredibly unnerved by how much pressure is on him by being The Last Man Standing of the Dellamortes and what that means for their legacy, as well as being terrified over the possibility of what Spite could do to a child... but man, the thought haunts him. He wants to feel part of a close family again so bad. He would cry the first time he held his baby.

Neve - Probably not interested in having any of her own, but definitely ends up being kind of the boss-slash-denmother of a bunch of urchins in Docktown. She (lightly) bullies them into eating and sleeping, and they're her eyes from the shadows.

Taash - Their hang-ups over their mom are way too intense for that. Helping other Qunari and/or Tal-Vashoth adjust to a non-Qun life is about as far as that idea is gonna get.

[heavenslittlemachine]

tumblr user heavenslittlemachine what books rewired your brain chemistry? :0

ooh i rly like this one...long answer. more recently over the past ~2 years or so there's been a pretty foundational rewiring that was instigated more by personal experience & then catalyzed by book-reading -- i had a bunch of chronic health problems that got way better after i started getting regular acupuncture treatments, so my initial impulse was to ofc figure out how & why it worked. reading a bunch of contemporary acu books reorganized some stuff but couldn't rly touch on the deeper theoretical level. so then digging in to medical classics like the huangdi neijing, that one was & still is hitting pretty regularly. i like the kinds of books where u can keep reading them over and over & new layers of meaning keep developing, different angles become illuminated etc. reading medical classics was doing a lot for me but i wasn't rly grasping the broader context Or the deeper levels -- reading the daodejing & then the zhuangzi was and still is a wide blast for those. there's always more 2 understand with those guys. later alchemical stuff did a number on me, the zhouyi cantong qi in particular is a mindfuck but also to rly grasp that one u have to dig in to the yijing (i ching). there are some layers of cosmology there....

then ofc there's the bible which is a similar sort of experience. i was changed fundamentally by that whole deal against my will when i was little but coming back to it on my own terms with my own extractive technologies has been a really beautiful experience. related to that one but in the fictional world is go tell it on the mountain by james baldwin.

reading fanon's wretched of the earth and then nkrumah's neocolonialism then consciencism in that order was like a landslide moment in my understanding of colonialism/imperialism/capitalism fundamentally while also rounding out in both a material and existential way this idea of What Is To Be Done. also in the fictional world one that feels related to these is leslie marmon silko's almanac of the dead. the concept of the christian god dying during the colonization of the americas. the thing about "days, months, years, eons are alive, they walk around the universe and then come back." the phrase "death-eye dog epoch."

noopiming by leanne betasamosake simpson was not necessarily like "revolutionary" in the same way as some other books here but it gave me an incredibly important grip on things during the early pandemic when everything was feeling spiraling deeply out of control. i was like everything will b fine if i just live like akiwenzii. wake up when the sun comes up and go to bed when the sun goes down. ok!

also when i was little i read this book i forget the name, it was about these people who could see little fairy or implike creatures who were invisible to most & they would swarm people who were about to die / eat from them as they were dying. so the assumption was that they caused accidents etc. and the main characters hunted and captured these creatures. but eventually u find out (spoiler!) that the imps are actually benevolent and can just sense when ppl are gonna die, they do feed on wounds but it doesn't hurt ppl and has some kind of analgesic effect. and then it turns out that their boss knew this and had been harvesting them to power some kind of device for nefarious purposes. that one was important too i think. the picture of dorian grey when i was still nebulously bisexual in high school. the twilight series when i was still a jehovahs witness. everything has its place and time...

[daemonwritesstuff]

MATCHUP TRADE WITH @sugutoad - 100% completed

A/N: Hi Anna! im so happy to do yet another trade with you! these are so fun to do and hopefully we can do more soon haha. I hope you enjoy this so much as much as I did with mine.

HARRY POTTER FAMILY ANALYSIS

Your Significant Other Is…

You have been matched with Regulus Black! After some thinking about your other HP matches he seemed like a more better fit for you.

Kallias Black!

The oldest child and brother! aka Regulus and Annas first child! He was born after you guys got married, He went to school the same time as the boy who lived did. they arent really close together since Kallias despises him for some reason. He is also Regulus's favorite child (he loves all his children ok??). Regulus was over the moon when he found out his son got into slytherin, He's very proud of his kids, even if they dont know. Kallias can get a bit too angry sometimes but calms down right away when his parents comfort him, he would do anything to make his mom and dad proud.

Illiana Black!

The second and oldest child! the sweet and intellegent child of Anna and Regulus Black. She daydreams a lot because you know... she dreams a lot, and she can acheive those dreams! She's really good at all of her classes, the black family is very intellegent. She's always with her pet dog, Sirius, which annoys her uncle sometimes and Regulus is super happy about haha.

Fayette Black!

The Third Daughter of Anna and Regulus Black! She's known for being super rebellious and mischievous. She gets in trouble a lot or playing with other peoples wands or causing chaos. She reminds Regulus to much like his Brother Sirius, they're just too alike! but it doesn't nessacarly make him annoyed or angered, he loves his daughter so much, he probably has to stop some arguments with her siblings. Regulus is a girl dad frfr.

Dorian Black!

Second Son and The Fourth Child! I think Kallias got a little jealous and upset when he got told that he's gonna have a younger brother, he wants to be the only son! enough with that though... Dorian is the peacemaker, he's everyone's favorite even if they don't show it, he's super popular In school and he knows it! He can be a little shy around people he doesn't know, so when his mom or dad is around he'll always hide or stay beside them, its so cute to regulus and Anna haha. He has to be forced to do his work or he'll be grounded which causes him to whine for a while but eventually stops. You always have to cook vegetarian meals for Dorian sinces he Vegetarian which you and regulus are fine with of course.

Nyla Black!

The Last and Youngest Child of Regulus and Anna Black! The cutest child in the house, you guys spoil her a lot and she turned out to be a cute yet has no brain cells kinda bimbo. But shes very hardworking and Regulus is very proud of that as well. She's probably the first person in the black family to want to do more independent things in the house. one time when her boundries were being pushed too far she scared the person with some scary figure and lets say that person never came back...

Raising a Child — before, during and after

Regulus was probably only present for the three of his kids birth after Voldemort controlled his mind into maddness

It was hard to raise 3 kids on your own, you had help from his brother Sirius, and some other family members but it was still hard without having the father present.

But before that they raised their children with so much love that it would blind you. They would take their children to places they wanted to go and they would also buy their children as many toys they want

While Regulus was away, Anna did everything she could to make her kids not forget their father, she would tell stories about Regulus when they met at Hogwarts, how their dates were, etc...

After a while Regulus came back and there were a lot of tears... of happiness of course, it was good for Regulus to be back with his family again, he never let you guys go when he came back.

He would take his kids for ice cream and to the park on the best summer days possible, he even takes them to the pool and teaches his younger kids how to swim!

Overall, this family is very successful and very happy, for eternity.

Reactions:

Black Family: You were probably in an exchanged marriage with Regulus ngl, but in a good way, your family was rich and successful so why wouldn't they wanna get you both married! little did they know you guys were already dating, which shocked them but surprising it didn't make them mad, when they found out you guys were having kids they were so overjoyed, Sirius always comes to the house to spoil your children (only when his parents aren't there)

Family Dinner and Date Nights

Family dinners can be a bit chaotic since everyone is gonna talk over one another about their days, or just random stuff, sometimes even food fights happen with the younger ones! but they are stopped right away.

Usually its very nice when having dinners though, its always good to hear the kids talking and just having a good time

Date Nights happen very rarely since you both can be busy sometimes but you'll always try to find a way to get out of the house, and you'll get Uncle Sirius and Jaxrel to babysit the kids LMAO

Your dates with him are with you going to your favorite places, or staying in a cafe while its raining and hands are intertwined together, your love with Regulus is very peaceful and heartwarming.

[raviniaraven]

@eldritchsquared This has made me very happy bc I love my Disaster Man and I gotta make more stuff with him

(Context for everyone else, I put these tags on a thing about OCs:)

This explanation is gonna be kinda long so I'm gonna put it into a ReadMore

So! This is one of my oldest OCs, Dorian Pierce!

I recently redrew him bc I'm hoping to make a short VN game for Halloween about him and another one of my OCs named Sana!

So explaining his story is hella complicated and idk if it makes sense but I'm gonna try! He lives in a town called Lacrymosa, and his initial plot is that he gets these blackout fugue states where he goes out and kills people, then shows back up at his house like "ah hell not again". He ends up in a relationship with my OC Sana, bc when he runs into her the fugue states stop, and only start up again when she's not around for too long. Sana is a sweetheart 100% and doesn't learn about the Murder Tendencies until they've been together for a hella long time, and the initial story I wrote for them revolved around when Dorian gets arrested for the murders, escapes, and while Sana is helping him hide they get into a shootout with police; he dies, she flips out and starts shooting at the people that shot him, and also dies.

That was the initial plan. Then I started fleshing it out more, and his backstory started to incorporate one of my other oldest OCs, Mystere:

This is Mystere! She's a God that's basically responsible for creating 95% of my OCs, as well as the afterlife that became my story focus as I developed more stuff, a place I called Libra; the current overall format of the stories that I'm working on involves a different character named Rayne who is a conduit for other spirit's memories, where she can relive them and repair spiritual damage (also she's Dorian's granddaughter, I'll get to that).

Dorian was originally a sort of guard of Libra, keeping unwanted powers from entering. Think the angels outside of the Garden of Eden, flaming sword and all. He ended up trying to usurp Mystere, and She handily kicked his ass; the scars he's got everywhere are from this Godly Ass-Kicking.

As a punishment for his actions, She made him into a human, and in the process his spirit got kinda scratched up and corrupted, which is what caused the fugue states. Sana has an innate ability to semi-repair damage to spirits, so being around her calms Dorian's fugue states; she doesn't know about this, she's just sweet and likes helping people.

So after their deaths, both Dorian and Sana end up back in Libra as their afterlife. Through rules about spiritual connections based on affection and relationships, they end up creating the spirit of their son, Dante. Dante eventually decides he wants to see what stuff is like outside of Libra, and manages to convince Mystere to make him human (since the process is willing this time, it's not as damaging as it was to Dorian).

Unfortunately, he's kind of an asshole. Dante ends up being a dictator of a place I called Imperi, and does a lot of pretty awful shit, including waging massive wars and experimenting with human augmentations (I have a handful of characters that are the results of these experiments, they're kinda lizard/human hybrids)

Eventually, Dorian and Sana are sent back to the human world for the purpose of trying to stop their dick of a son from destroying everything. They arrive in the middle of a revolution, as Dante is trying to escape Imperi. Sana tries to talk to him about what he's been doing, he says some insulting things to her, and Dorian gets pissed. You know how I mentioned that he used to have a flaming sword? He got it back when they went to stop Dante, and uses the spirit-specific nature of the sword to basically slice Dante's spirit in half.

This leads to Dante becoming Cursed, and I still have to flesh out the details of what that means beyond a change in appearance, but he ends up hiding out in another country I made called Gelia. He mainly wanted to hide out in Gelia bc that's where his ex-wife, Aura, went when the revolution hit Imperi; Aura wants nothing to do with him, but he wanted to stay close to keep an eye on their daughter, Rayne.

Eventually Rayne becomes friends with Dante (she doesn't know it's him, she knows him by the name Damien and she's only seen old photos of Dante). They end up going to help some of Rayne's friends that got stuck on an island where a lot of the lizard hybrids caused by Dante's experimentation ended up, and eventually one of the hybrids recognizes Dante and tries to attack him; Rayne tries to protect him and ends up dying instead, ending up in Libra and meeting her grandparents and a bunch of other related characters.

I have a massive family tree of related characters that end up in Libra, and eventually I'm going to write a good draft of the story I'm planning out of Rayne being a Conduit and experiencing all of their memories and stuff. I think I have some hella old drafts floating around on different fiction sites, but their pretty far from canon now

Thanks for giving me the opportunity to gush about my babies! I hope this made any sort of sense, in my head all this kinda looks like a corkboard full of drawings and red strings

[fade-and-loathing-in-thedas]

do any of your other amells have romances? also what are the deets for akroma leaving cullen 👀

Hahaha omg you've unlocked the beast.

I'll start with the Akroma/Cullen break-up. She really only just began her romance with Cullen when she ended it. Alistair is King in her playthrough, so since she recruited the mages she encountered him at the end. It was awkward for everyone involved. Alistair kinda lingers in her mind afterwards. She pursues the relationship with Cullen with incredible speed and a level of fixation that was a clear indicator she was trying to avoid something else (specifically her residual feelings for Alistair). It's after encountering Avacyn, and hearing her story, she kinda has to reassess how well she knows him. Then throw in her cousins getting involved, Kaalia Hawke (the Champion) and Kalum Hawke (the warden contact) and their relationship with the former Templar. Then you have the moment she wakes up in Cullen's arms, after dreaming of Alistair, and thought it was Alistair she was with. After a deep and meaningful conversation with Leliana, she kinda realised she'd been using him as a place holder and that she might need to work on getting over Alistair before trying to have a new relationship (she is very much avoido girl when it comes to dealing with her own actual emotions, and not just urges, so progress). She tells Cullen she can't be with him, cue his brooding, and then she heads to the Western Approach to avoid any awkwardness (okay, so not that much progress lol). That's all I've got, except they eventually kinda become friends again (leaning towards over protective brother in law now lol)

I've actually seriously been thinking a lot about romances for the siblings, which is how I ended up here lol

For Roman I have been leaning heavily towards Dorian. Roman has a weakness for pretty men and especially pretty men with major smarts, confidence, bordering on arrogance, and can be drama. I've got some stuff to work out here. He's kinda already in a casual thing with someone in his mercenary group, but the guy's an Orlesian and a complete dick (which has kind of been Roman's type/dating history). It's gonna take him a while to realise everyone he dates doesn't have to be an asshole. He doesn't have to be dirt for others to shine ya know.

I have also been tossing around a Jowan romance for Roman, only because the squick factor for Akroma would be hilarious. And Jowan is totally the kinda drama Roman's attracted too.

I haven't decided if Avacyn is having a relationship, but I could see her with the Iron Bull. Especially given his strong feelings around consent, understanding of power dynamics, and ability to read people. I could see him being her friend. Helping her let out the rage, setting up dummies for her to set aflame, and getting her to socialize more. He's also very much not someone who would pursue someone without explicit interest, which she would appreciate. I also think he is the kind of person who understands sex, romance, and relationships aren't all synonymous. You can have any of these by themselves, or in conjunction with any number of others and it doesn't make them any less meaningful. Idk I think they could click. What that will look like is still swimming around in my head.

Remus is straight up crushing on Leliana. Her skill with both a blade and a bow, not to mention how she could/would murder a man in his sleep. Yeah, she's his kind of woman.

As you are already aware Arcadia is currently trying to seduce Cullen in my head lol and failing dismally.

Oh and for the Amell cousins: Kaalia Hawke romanced Isabela, and Kalum romanced Anders.

[jakeflavin]

I just finished Empire of Storms, the 5th book in the Throne of Glass series. With only two books left, now is a good time for me to vomit all of my theories on how it’s gonna end.

1. With the silent assassin finally making an appearance at the very end of this book, all of the peeps from the assassins blade stories have come back into play…. EXCEPT the healer that was traveling to the southern continent. Oh wait, who was it that got hurt one book ago and was headed to the southern continent to find a healer? Thats right. My man Choal. My money is that Choal meets the healer and they team up. Idk how they team up yet. Cause Choals gf is the one that is escorting him to the souther continent and a new love interest would be awk-ward af.

2. And while I’m talking about healers, healing magic happened a lot this book and I know that is important. We learned this book that healing magic can cure or pull out poison. And Maas also loves to describe the valg that take over human bodies as a poison or a sickness that festers. I’m 60% sure a powerful healer (aka healer from the assassins blade) can expel a valg demon without killing its host. But why is there a need to expel a valg demon from a host??? Unless…

3. Someone we love is going to become a host to a valg demon. Idk who yet. Definitely not Dorian. My best guesses are Aedion or Choal.

4. Speaking of Valg… wtf is Maeve’s plan with the valg. Shes not dumb, she knows they will eventually come for her… there’s gotta be more there! She’s old as f*ck so she’s gotta have some beef or a back story with them. And she had the Wyrdkeys before Brannon stole them… was she the one that let the valg king in!?!?!? Did her and her sisters come out of the Wyrdgate?!?!? Does she want her own valg army!?!?

5. Aedions and his dad bond and start to form a solid relationship… then his dad dies in some cool sacrificial hero way… and my heart will heart.

6. I am 80% sure Elide is going to die. Love her, but she’s totes gonna die saving Aelin just like her mom (there is too much foreshadowing for this not to happen). And if she doesn’t die then she is going to almost die saving Aelin but Lorcan takes her place at the last second.

7. This one is out there… but neither Dorian or Aelin is going to die to make the lock. Dorian has a little brother that we are not emotionally attached too. He’s got havilliard blood too and can forge the lock just as well as Dorian could. So he could be the sacrifice and I’d still get to keep the characters I’m emotionally attached to. Regardless… where the f*ck is his brother and will we see him at all? Why mention that he has an evil brother if we aren’t going to see him at all in the 7 books.

8. They will converge at Terresan… and Aelins dog and Lysandas adopted daughter girl is in Terresan. The only spoiler ive gotten is that the dog loves throughout the entire story. But I really reallly want her to do something epic.

[transandersrights]

Info for requests/prompting

Hello I take prompts!! This is just a (hopefully short) post explaining what I write/don't write, and assorted other things. This is a Dragon Age blog so this post (which is doubling as a da drunk writing prompt list) is specific to that, but I take other requests too - you can see my fandoms most easily on ao3 (leonidskies)

Quick requesting info - easy prompts to send me are:

Ship (platonic or romantic)/character + word/phrase/song

Character + specific headcanon

Character/ship + AU

Literally just a DA thought or a vibe. I'll give it a go

When I find a fun prompt list I'll link it here

DA "drunk" writing flavour of the week: women! Please give me women to write about

For more detailed info, you can look at stuff below!

Canon stuff:

I can most easily write DA2

I can also write Origins and Inquisition characters, but I'm a little sketchier on canon events there (esp for Origins)

For spinoffs, I can write Absolution and things based on the DA novels (except Tevinter Nights)

Character stuff:

Anders is easiest for me! Beyond that, I'm most confident with mage and elf characters, but happy to give anyone a shot

I'm happy to write specific or non-specific DA OCs. If I get no specification at all, my OCs (Adrel Surana or Ilassan Lavellan) might make guest appearances

If you'd like me to do someone a little more obscure pls just make sure they have a wiki page. But I'm very flexible I promise!

Unless you specify, I'm gonna assume that you're happy with characters being written as complex + not necessarily good all the time. My DA opinions will colour how I write characters!

Ships:

Go nuts. I am not picky (some exceptions noted below). I love rarepairs

Handers is my bread and butter. Beyond that I have little experience but much enthusiasm

I will happily write poly ships!

I'm most comfortable writing explicitly queer ships (incl m/f with trans characters or m/f with canonically bi characters)

If you give me literally any platonic dynamic I will write it very happily

My "canon" is nb!Surana/Zevran/Leliana, m!Hawke/Anders, and m!Lavellan/Dorian (also trying out: m!Lavellan/Josephine). Again, they might pop up unless you're specific about not wanting them

Keep in mind that I might not write your ship in the way you're used to it being written!!

I love writing:

MAGES

Elves

Platonic relationships

Trans and nonbinary characters

Disabled characters

A variety of queer headcanons

Found family/family feelings

Any setting

I will not write (DA relevant):

Pro-Circle/Chantry/Templar

Mage/Templar ships (including former Templars, including Seekers), unless they're Tevinter

Master/slave ships

Varric ships (I am sorry he is aroace to me)

Canonically gay characters in m/f relationships

I will not write (general):

Incest, adult/minor, or student/teacher

A/b/o

Cisswap

Suicide (references to suicide = okay)

NSFW/kink (fade to black/pillow talk = okay)

RPF

Harry Potter/Mafia/Police AUs

Pregnancy or bio fankids

Assorted other stuff:

I'm a very versatile writer! When I say I'll write anything I really do mean that

You'll probably get anywhere between 300-1.5k depending on the prompt and how feral I go

I will post finished requests here, but they'll also eventually make their way to ao3

I'm fast when I write. I'm very slow when I don't. That's just how it be

I take prompts at any time! They're most likely to appear on evenings when I'm working from home/the weekend

I will simply delete prompts I don't like

[narrativelysignificantturtleduck]

a playlist for piandao! annotations under the cut:

this is probably the playlist that needs the annotations the most, just because piandao's backstory is not in canon and while you might know it from following me it's not like, common knowledge, and i've had to fill in the gaps with headcanons. while all the playlists are chronological to some extent, this one and aang's are the most direct.

1. take me to war - the crane wives

all the fire i have swallowed / all the sparks that went dark in my gut / i am always burning up

young piandao is far from the calm, confident master we meet in canon - he was abandoned by his parents for being a nonbender and grew up in an orphanage, feeling unvalued and anxious and angry at a world that abandoned him. "all the sparks that went dark in my gut" - his inability to firebend.

and his ticket out of there, and an outlet for his rage? well. the war. he thinks if he can make it in the military, he can prove his worth, rise above his circumstances.

this decision will haunt him for the rest of his life.

2. phenom - thao & the get down stay down

first of the secondary class-class-class / you know i don't trust you, what's the catch-catch-catch / don't you fucking touch me i will gnash-gnash-gnash

along the same themes of ambition and anger, but when he's slightly older, having joined the military. he's determined to 'pull himself up by his bootstraps', and this makes him a terrifying force on the battlefield, makes him terrifyingly determined to be a master at whatever he sets his mind to.

3. king - florence and the machine

i need my golden crown of sorrow / my bloody sword to swing / i need my empty halls to echo with grand self-mythology

here, we foreshadow his future as the revered mysterious swordmaster ("grand self-mythology"), but the ambition and drive of this song are still young piandao, particularly the musings on the value of art (we'll get to that in the next song). this also serves as a nod to the trans piandao headcanon - he is underestimated not only for being a nonbender with no parents, but also for being perceived as a woman. his desire to prove himself as a warrior is also about proving his masculinity.

4. working for the knife - mitski

i always thought that the choice was mine / and i was right / i just chose wrong

piandao eventually regrets joining the military. there are lines in this song like "i wish i was making things too" and "i used to think i would tell stories", about having given up creative, artistic dreams in pursuit of "working for the knife", and that's very much piandao, the kid who was taught art to cope with his anxiety but who left it behind to join the military. he feels this real pain of lost time, and there's very literally a possibility of "dying for the knife".

5. live by the sword - dorian electra

you wanna hit like this? you're gonna hurt like this / you want to live like this? you're gonna die like this / live by the sword and you die by the sword

piandao realizes he needs to get out of the military. yeah, this is the title of the playlist, but honestly i wish there was a better lyric with sword in it to sum him up bc living by the sword in this context is not a good thing.

6. rootless - marina

running with my roots pulled up / caught me cold so they could cut / what there was left of love

he doesn't really know what to do with himself after he leaves the military. he cuts off a lot of his old connections, and he doesn't exactly have a home to go back to. he reflects on how the military preyed on his rootlessness, lack of "family tree", so to speak, made him believe that it was the answer and then made him do cruel, heartless things in its service. he travels the world for a while, not really knowing where he's meant to be.

7. home - ellie goulding

wash the dirt, a hard day's work / know my place / on my own / no poison in my bones / on my own / this is where i build my home

piandao works as he travels, ideally something in a blacksmith's shop but it varies. he's having to start over, work hard and pull himself up for the second time. but it's better than it was. his home is his own body, but it's better to be alone than be part of an organization like the military.

8. i am a rock - simon and garfunkel

i've built walls / a fortress deep and mighty / that none may penetrate

9. johnny - sarah jarosz

when he comes back to the fire nation, having saved a fair amount from his travels, he is fairly distant and secretive. he slowly builds up his teaching business, slowly grows wealthier, enough to buy the castle he lives in when we meet him in canon. but people don't know his past when they seek him out for training, they just know his reputation, and he doesn't share. he keeps everything he learned on his travels, his membership in the white lotus, his troubled childhood, all tight inside, and as we see in canon, he's pretty selective about who he lets in.

you might not get what you pay for / you know that nothing's for sure / and an open heart looks a lot like the wilderness

i've discussed this before bc it was my #2 most listened song of 2022 but i also want to add that the "open heart" line reflects this recurring theme of closing himself off, not admitting weakness, etc. it's unfamiliar, uncharted territory for him, but he gets more open later in life, after he and sokka adopt each other as father and son and he wants to be a good parent to him. them <3

[ramonadecember]

For Ardem:

Eros 1, 3

Philia 1, 5

Storge 1, 4

Agape 5

Ludus 1, 2, 5

Pragma 2, 3

Philautia 3, 4, 5

oc love asks.

I didn’t forget about these last ones, things have just been… a lot lately lmao. have some of my big boy.

—

Eros/1: I don’t think Ardem can be considered romantic in general, let alone in the ‘traditional’ sense. it’s been a slight issue in the past with more than one partner thinking he could stand to be a little more so. Ardem is under the firm belief that they knew what they were getting into, knew he wasn’t like that. that’s only ever started to change when it comes to Dorian, he’s been the only one Ardem has really wanted to try with. Dorian deserves the romance that he’s so often been denied in his life, and Ardem maybe wants to provide that to him…

Eros/3: Ardem isn’t the biggest fan of PDA, mostly because he isn’t a fan of anything that makes him look ‘soft.’ gotta be a cool tough guy at all times. so if there is PDA, it’s not gonna be sweet or tender, no little cuddles or hand holding. he might try to go along with it for the sake of a partner, but he wouldn’t initiate, and he’d likely end up shying away from it. if he’s feeling particularly frisky he might ‘slip’ and pull his partner into a kiss regardless of people who may be around, but it still wouldn’t be a gentle thing. it’d also depend who the ‘public’ was though, because there’s definitely situations where it’d be off the table entirely. 

Philia/1: I don’t know that Ardem necessarily had/has someone he considers his ~best friend~. he always had a group of friends he was close enough with, and his little mercenary squad was practically like a small family, but there was no one person that stands out or that he was especially close with. Ardem was excited to meet Iron Bull, thought he was going to find a close connection there, someone who got him, but it’s actually been… pretty up and down, so not the bff-in-the-making that Ardem had hoped for. he’s slowly building friendships within the Inquisition though, so maybe one of them will get the title eventually, ha. he vibes with Cullen a lot more than he thought he would, and even before the eventual relationship with him, Dorian was the person who seemed to get him the most, so…

Storge/1: he def has his parent’s unconditional love. Ardem knows that he’s not always the model son, but his parents considered just like… being together and bringing a child into the world of their own accord to be such a gift in itself when the alternative was a life under the Qun, and they love him SO much, and have always made sure he knows that too. They found the work he did pre-Inquisition to be respectful, and were proud of him, particularly when he got put into a leadership role. They didn’t need him to be perfect. And I think it’s kinda like… no surprise that after the support he’s received (from them and others) that he was kinda blindsided by how much being a part of the Inquisition made him feel like such shit, ha…

Storge/4: Ardem has one sibling, a sister not too much younger than him. they have a fairly ‘typical’ sibling relationship, I’d say. they’re not wildly close, but they get on just fine. he’s definitely not ~the protective older brother~ or anything, but she’s also nearly as… rough around the edges as Ardem is, and she can handle herself. the only time it sort of ramps up is when Sera finds out and ‘jokes’ about setting them up, because Ardem recalls her comments in the past about ‘wondering what your women look like,’ and Ardem is still too unsure if they were mean spirited, a little fetish-y, or Sera truly being into a woman who could snap her in half for him to be super comfortable with that lmao. 

Agape/5: between mercenary and Inquisitor, there hasn’t been a lot of room for Ardem to empathize with his enemies. Ardem is more than the ‘strike first, ask questions later’ brute he seems to be, he actually really likes the tactics and the strategy and the planning and that kind of stuff (which is why he manages to be buddies with Cullen, I think lol), and both ‘jobs’ have allowed Ardem that opportunity (more so the Inquisiton than mercenary work, because often a lot of that was out of his hands, be it because he wasn’t in charge or it wasn’t what whoever they were working for asked for), but I wouldn’t call choosing not to like… immediately resort to killing ‘empathy’ necessarily. 

Ludus/1+2: Ardem isn’t skilled at flirting, and he doesn’t really have any particular lines he uses, but he also hasn’t put a lot of time or effort into making that not the case. He’s not super subtle in his attempts, but his methods can be… questionable, which lead others to wonder ‘is he …….flirting?’ lmao. Ardem can have very ‘kid pulling pigtails on the playground’ methods of flirting, which isn’t ideal, because there’s playful teasing, and then there’s whatever comments Ardem makes, ha. he’s definitely pulled back a little on that since realizing it uh, can really be taken the wrong way, but it’s still sort of the case. And this ties in with the below question, but his other move is doing things to show off/look impressive/etc. in front of the person he’s ‘flirting’ with. again, his methods are… a little juvenile, but…

Ludus/5: I don’t know that they really count as seduction techniques, but what really ‘works’ for Ardem is competence. There’s just something very, very sexy about someone who’s good at what they do, and who knows it too. He’s not opposed to cockiness when it’s warranted… It’s def like, at least what can create a spark of interest  in him towards another, and it’s something that attracted him to Bull in their early days of the Inquisition (as well as the fact he’s a mountain of meat + someone Ardem (wrongfully) thought he’d have a Qunari-based connection with), and later Dorian (Ardem didn’t have a lot of experience with mages but he still knows that the skill Dorian shows sure is something special).

Pragma/2: the biggest challenge in the past that Ardem had to deal with while in a relationship was the loss of his father. Ardem took it hard, he struggled, and he… wasn’t great to the person he was with at the time because of it. he has a hard time being open and dealing with feelings, and how closed off he got at that time ended up being the final straw in a relationship that was never gonna last anyway. which brings us to the real biggest challenge Ardem has in any relationship, and that’s letting it get past a surface level thing. even in longer relationships, Ardem has made sure it never gets the deep. he doesn’t like to be/feel vulnerable or to look ‘soft’ as previously mentioned, and it means even his partners are kept at a distance. Dorian may not be the least emotionally repressed either, but Ardem knows he has to do better if he wants to keep Dorian. and he really, really wants to keep Dorian. 

Pragma/3: his parents are not still together, but only because his father passed away a handful of years ago. they’re relationship was something special. as mentioned earlier… they were living free of the Qun and that gave them the ability to lead the lives they wanted with the partner of their choosing, and they made the most of that. there was so much love between them and it showed through in everything and set a great example for their kids. it’s honestly a little weird that Ardem is so relationship-averse when that’s what he had to look up to, and he could definitely stand to learn from them and strive for a love like that. 

Philautia/3: Ardem holds himself to the same standards as others, if not higher ones. as a leader, both pre- and within the Inquisition, and so he thinks it’s important to set a good example. and like… yeah, we know the guy is uh. rough around the edges, he doesn’t always say or do the exact right thing, but in his actions, where it counts, he’d like to think those standards show through. he owns up to his mistakes, he doesn’t make excuses for himself, and so he sure doesn’t allow them from others, and he expects them to take responsibility for their choices as well. Ardem doesn’t think these expectations are particularly hard to meet, just the decent thing to do.

Philautia/4+5: again I’m combining because one sort of overlaps with/leads into the other. the quality about himself that always made Ardem proud was his ability to not give a damn. That’s not meant in the way it could easily be taken, where like… someone who says that is usually an asshole who doesn’t care about who they’re hurting, it’s meant in a way where like… Ardem was able to let so much just roll right off him. He was very secure in himself and his choices and his life, and if he wasn’t actually harming anyone, then Ardem didn’t care what anyone else had to say about those things. that quality of his has unfortunately kind of… gone away quite a bit in his time with the Inquisition, because that time has really changed Ardem’s opinion of himself. never before has he been so unsure of himself and his capabilities, never before has he let people’s words get to him so much. Ardem has kinda lost his sense of self.

[violetasteracademic]

Opening up and adding ToG into this, Rowaelin is my favorite mate bond story because it uses the mating bond as a dramatic device, not an inevitability. Fake mates, intercepted mating bonds, falling so deeply in love with someone and not understanding how they are not your mate... I suppose that's why I'm so drawn to Elriel as well. I love the mating bond as a device that can cause plot and drama as opposed to a story of "well it doesn't matter whether or not they love each other, it's bound to happen eventually because they are mates for a reason." But I do understand that some people enjoy the comfort and inevitability of the mating bond. Let's be honest, we all read romance because they are gonna get together in the end. It's part of the comfort. The *how* is where the possibilities and personal taste lie.

Rowan and Lyria fell in love, sure, because they were "mates first" and gave it a try. Ultimately, Rowan felt more for Aelin, who he did not believe was his mate, than he ever felt for his "mate" Lyria. I love that story. I love agency. I love a battle against fate and forming your own destiny. I love choosing love.

I kinda think SJM loves that too. Lorcan tied his life to Elide so that they could have the same lifespan. Human and Fae shouldn't have worked otherwise, at least without the sadness of only a few years together.

Dorian and Manon still chose each other despite being mortal/immortal and they are not mates.

Bryce and Hunt are mates by choice, against all odds, despite one of them being a prince of Hel test tube baby and never intended to be anything more than a soldier for the Chosen One.

No matter how you slice it, Elain is in for a fresh story. Whether you believe her story will be unique because she falls in love with someone who isn't her mate, whether we discover the corrupted Cauldron interfered with the Mother and fate and Elain and Azriel are true mates, or you believe she will face the inevitability of her current mate and simply be the first one in the entire history of SJM to have a mate revealed PRIOR to falling in love, we are going to experience the mating bond as it has never been seen before with Elain. I can't wait for her story and to see what Sarah is going to do with all of this!

So I've been ruminating on mate bonds in the ACOTAR universe today--about why a section of this fandom seems to revere the mate bond in general and assume a partner in the mate bond cannot be happy without the other.

And I was thinking of the different mate bonds we've been shown and what we've been told--

The blueprint obviously being Feysand.

I think a lot of fandom hold up Feysand as the standard--but to me, Feysand is the EXCEPTION. From what we are told in the books about mate bonds--the good, the bad, and the ugly--that mate bonds can be rejected, that sometimes the bond chooses poorly, that maybe it is just a way to make powerful offspring rather than the true coming together of souls-- the bond is not something guarantees a happily ever after and even in some cases--is a detriment.

So far in story, about 50/50 of the bonds we've been told about/seen have landed on the "good" vs "bad" side. Even in Prythian culture, they seem to move without giving the bond a thought until it happens--people marry, make alliances, have lovers without the mate bond. Sure it's mostly because it's rare but I can't help but think that it's also because even if you find your mate--it's not a guarantee perfect match.

And I think we can say that the ones we have seen, even the "good", are not comparable to Feysand. Love them or hate them, there is something so prevailing about their romance that, to get meta, is the reason I think ACOTAR is SJM's most popular work even though many agree that TOG is better written, it's why you hardly ever see Rhysand or Feyre shipped with anyone else--their romance was written so beautiful, so exceptionally, that it resonated with a lot of readers as an ultimate love story, certainly THE ultimate love story that SJM has written and propelled her to the status she has now.

Even Cassian, who is centuries old and has probably seen mates before, thinks that the whole mate thing is "bullshit" till he saw Feysand's bond.

Let's compare to Nessian. Now see, I think Nessian is more the standard mate bond. They are drawn to each other, they love each other, they choose each other -- but can we really say that their bond is comparable to Feysand? You have a huge chunk of this fandom that says Nesta should leave Cassian for Eris and that Cassian deserves better and I hardly see anyone laud their romance in ACOSF as their favorite part of the book--that's normally reserved for the Valkyrie friendship.

Let's even look at the Death Pact Feysand made. It doesn't matter if you think it's stupid or not--it fully comes across in character that Feyre and Rhysand wouldn't want to live without the other. Now, Nesta and Cassian? I definitely think that they would be distraught, broken--but do they really give the vibes that they would just die without the other? I don't even think Nessian would ever make that pact, or at least that's the vibes that their romance gives off.

Even Kallias and Vivianne, a "good" mate bond--what little we see of them--don't give off the same vibes. Kallias didn't make Vivianne High Lady, even after Vivianne expressed the desire and seeing in the Night Court it can be done.

And that brings me to Elucien. Eluciens say neither Elain nor Lucien can be happy without the other but I feel like that's because they are comparing it to Feysand instead of Nessian.

But we can see even in comparison they are not similiar.

When Feyre was with Tamlin, Rhysand was willing to let her be with another male if that's what she wanted. He was not however, willing to let her waste into nothing after what happened UTM. He used that pact that he had did not call on before Feyre was begging to be saved from the wedding, to get Feyre to safe place where she could heal and deal with her issues.

Lucien on the other hand only offered suggestions when Elain was physically wasting away. "She needs sunlight," which is a generic piece of advice but did he actually make it happen? No. And yes, it can be argued it was because Elain didn't want him around but we are told that Lucien is cunning. You're telling me he couldn't come up with something--some action, some plan-- to physically help Elain? Like Rhysand did? Even if he wasn't directly involved in taking Elain to the garden, he couldn't even find some way to directly make it happen?

Rhysand would never mumble to Tamlin to take Feyre out into the garden and then just...wait and see?

All this rambling to conclude, that yes, if every mate bond could be held up to the standard of Feysand, I think I could understand why a large portion of the fandom says mates have to be together, that that's the only way they can be happy, heal, become their best selves etc but once again, I think Feysand is the exception. Mate bonds like theirs are the true rarity and I don't think we've seen it comparably to any other romance or mate bond that SJM has written.

This is all just my two cents so take it as you will but thanks for reading it all if you got this far.

[jacklyn-flynn]

It’s here! The burn is over! There’s a teaser below the cut and you can find the whole chapter here! I hope you like smut because this chapter is over 9k and is 90% raw, unadulterated garbage. Enjoy!

Jules didn’t know where to go or who to turn to. She was beyond mortified and loathed anyone finding out about Cullen’s rejection, but at the same time the thought of being alone was too much to bear. Bull knew, but there was no way she would get all the way down to the hanger without being seen. Her frantic attempt to zip up her coveralls had resulted in the zipper pull snapping off. She’d left her shirt in Cullen’s room so the only thing keeping her covered was the tight grip on both sides of the top of her suit. 

At some point, she noticed Jasoom walking beside her, or rather trotting to keep up with her quick steps. Jules found herself letting him lead as he slipped in front of her. Up to the next level and then toward the front of the ship. He led her in a circuitous route to the mess hall and then further into the Officer’s Club. She suspected he was keeping her away from those walking through the corridors. 

The Officer’s Club was also empty, save for El who sat behind the bar reading a book with her chin rested on her hand. Jules realized that she was exactly the right person to see and silently thanked the cat for leading her there. The elf didn’t notice her until Jules tried and failed to hold back a choking sob. El looked up sharply and her eyes widened. Her book fell to the bar, immediately forgotten as she moved around quickly to meet Jules in the middle of the room. 

“Sweetheart, what happened to you?” She was mostly alarmed at Jules’s state of dress. She quickly drew the black and blue plaid shirt from her shoulders, revealing one arm covered in intricately designed tattoos from shoulder to fingers. “You put this on and I’ll lock the door.” 

Jules let the top of the jumpsuit fall, sliding on the soft flannel and buttoning it up with shaky fingers. She tied the arms of her coveralls around her waist before hugging herself. El took her elbow gently and led her to the nearest table, pulling a chair out for her. 

“First, are you hurt?” El asked gently, sitting beside her and leaning in without invading her space. Jules shook her head, eyes glittering with tears. “Do you want to tell me what happened, or do you just want me to sit with you?” 

“I ruined everything,” Jules declared in a shaky whisper. “I told him about-” she hesitated, looking down and away from El’s concerned gaze, “I told him about before. Before all of this. The First Commander of the Herald-I thought it was my job-he told me it was my job to have sex with him. Cullen and I were-we were-” 

“It’s okay, take your time,”  El said gently when Jules was quiet for a moment, unsure of what to say. Jules’s shoulder rose and fell and she put her hand on it, rubbing the muscles that were growing tight from the repeated nervous gesture that had plagued her entire trip to the bar. 

“He asked me about my past, with other men and I told him. I didn’t really want to, I was scared but I didn’t want to lie to him. I should have lied.” She looked up at El, tears streaming down her cheeks again. “The way he looked at me, like I was dirty. He backed off like I had burned him. I was so stupid to think that I could-” 

“Absolutely not.” El’s stern voice interrupted her. “There is nothing stupid about you, sweetheart. I promise you that Cullen doesn’t think that you’re “dirty” or used or anything else you may be thinking about yourself. I think he was surprised by your answer. Everyone on this ship can easily see that he’s smitten with you.” 

She shifted her weight on the chair. “Put yourself in his shoes. Someone you care about, who has never had it easy, is starting to open up. You’re seeing them grow and smile and make friends. And then you find out that someone took advantage of them in such a profound and intimate way at such an incredibly vulnerable moment. I’m not saying that how he reacted was right, but I can tell you that I don’t think he meant for it to happen the way that it did.” El’s gentle voice made her want to cry, but for a completely different reason than before. 

“Can I call someone for you or take you home?” Her smile was contagious and Jules found herself forcing one as well. 

“You're working. I shouldn't have bothered you."

"Nonsense. You're never a bother." El stood and watched with a smile as Jasoom jumped onto the table, then Jules’s shoulder before the woman herself stood. They walked back to her quarters in silence and Jules was simply grateful for someone who was willing to listen and not judge. Just be with her. “Take your time, maybe a hot shower and a nap. If you’re feeling better, you should go talk to Cullen.” 

“Talk to Cullen about what?” Morgan’s voice surprised her and she looked over El’s shoulder to find him standing in his doorway. He was apparently on his way out and at the most inopportune moment. 

“Nothing,” Jules tried to reassure him quickly. He looked skeptical and Jules was sure her tear stained cheeks and red eyes spoke volumes. Morgan nodded absently and walked away. 

“You know Morgan won’t judge you. If you want to talk to someone, you could talk to him too.” El suggested. 

“He’ll be so mad,” Jules countered, wringing her hands nervously.

“Not at you babe.” El smiled and squeezed her arm. “He’ll be mad at that long-dead fucker who doesn’t have to deal with the consequences of his actions. Will you be okay by yourself or do you want me to stay with you?” 

“I think I’ll be okay. Do you really think Cullen isn’t mad at me?” She hated to ask for reassurance, especially since El had already said as much, but she needed to hear it again. 

“I’m sure the only one he’s mad at is himself.” El chuckled and gave her arm a gentle squeeze. “You know where to find me if you need me and if you call, I’ll be here in five minutes or less.” 

“Thank you, Elbereth. Especially for not thinking less of me.” Jules spoke softly, as if she were afraid saying the words would reveal that she did think less of her. 

“I don’t see that ever happening.” The elf’s contagious smile left her with a little bit of warmth after she’d departed. 

| / | \ | / | \ | / | \ | / | \ | / | \ | / | \ | / | \ | / | \ | / | \ | / | \ | / | \ | / | \ | / |

Cullen paced his room, fists clenched and jaw tight. Moron. Idiot. Fool. He’d searched all over for her. Each of the engine compartments, parts rooms, anywhere she might go to distract herself with work. She didn't answer her door. He’d even reached out to Cass, Zevran and Bull to see if they’d seen her. No luck. 

The chime of his door made his head snap up. As it slid open, he started to speak, ready to go into the apology he’d been going over obsessively in his head. Instead, pain exploded in his cheek and he suddenly found himself on the floor with lights flashing behind his eyes. His vision cleared and he found Morgan standing over him. 

“I told you I would fucking kill you. Did you think I was joking?” His voice was low and aggressive. “How long has she been crying?” 

Cullen brushed the back of his hand against his cheek and corner of his mouth, relieved to find it free of blood. ��Did you see her?” He sounded far too excited for Morgan’s liking. 

“She was going into her room and it looked like she’d been sobbing. Think very carefully before you answer; what the fuck did you do?” Cullen already knew by the tone of his voice what would happen if Morgan didn’t like the answer. While he might normally have a fair shot at beating the younger Trevelyan, Morgan had fury on his side this time and that was a very powerful thing. 

“I over-reacted and said something stupid.” He sat up, propped up with one arm behind him, the other rubbing his sore jaw. “The old Commander of The Herald was….I don’t know if it’s my place to say.” 

“You’d better try,” Morgan growled. 

“He was raping her.” Cullen was reluctant to reveal Jules’s secret. “The worst part is he convinced her it was her job. Made her go to him willingly.” The last word dripped with disgust. “When she said it was because he was the First Commander-the thought of her being with me because of my title-I didn’t react well. By the time I realized what I’d said and how it could have sounded to her...she was gone. I’ve looked everywhere for her. Her comms are off and no one has seen her. Jasoom isn’t answering me. I don’t know what to do, but I need to apologize. I need to set things straight. If she never wants to see me again, I’ll go back to Haven and run the Inquisition’s army from there but I have to at least tell her first. ” 

“Tell her what?” Morgan’s narrowed eyes softened slightly. 

Cullen sighed, roughly running his hand through his hair. “How I feel about her.” He shook his head slightly with a huff of a laugh. “I’d tell you what that is, but she should hear the words before anyone else. If she still wants me to leave, I’ll go willingly. Or, you can kill me and jettison my body into the cold depths of space.” 

Morgan grinned then. “You’re sweet on her. More than I thought you were. As long as you know that you still deserved that punch. I’m not even a little sorry about that.” 

“You’re completely right,” Cullen agreed, rubbing his sore jaw, “I did deserve that.” 

“I saw her going into her room with that cute little elf from the bar. I know you want to talk to her, but give her some time. Let her come to you.” Morgan meant for it to come out as friendly advice, but it was slightly more menacing than that. Regardless of Cullen’s intentions, his aunt was hurting. The aunt he’d come to think of as a sister. “And now you know that I wasn’t fucking around.” 

Cullen snorted when he laughed and accepted Morgan's outstretched hand to pull himself back up.. “That was never in doubt, Trevelyan.”

[notebooks-and-laptops]

Merrill on Solas’s side: my one fear given nuance

Okay, so, I want to build off the post I made a while ago about my fear of Merrill being on Solas’s side in DA4. Because my feelings about it are mostly NO THANK YOU but also there’s some nuance and hey, I work best through my character feels out loud. So let’s talk about it. I’m gonna put most of this under a cut because oh boy it got a bit long actually.

Because the thing is...it could be good, actually. There’s a very, very specific version of this idea in my head that could be good. Why would it be good? Well. Because Dragon Age hasn’t really had any sympathetic villains yet. And I get that solas is supposed to be our sympathetic villain and if that works for you great! but for me, he wasn’t established well enough as friend before he became enemy. He’s just the weird racist guy who gave me a castle and now wants to fix his mistake by...making the exact same mistake all over again. And while he does have individual moments of banter with the DAI crew that are very fun, he doesn’t actually show up to any of the bonding scenes (wicked grace night for example) nor does he have any cut scenes that develop a particular relationship between him and say...Dorian, who’s also hanging out in the library. 

But Merrill? Merrill has friends. True, proper, established friends. She’s lovable. She loved. Varric, Carver and Isabela in particular, but Bethany, Fenris, Anders, Aveline, Sebastian - they all had positive interactions with her regardless of how they viewed her magic. And she certainly cared about them.

And Merrill’s characterisation could be simplified down to ‘restoring the old ways’ and ‘protecting her people’. In Dai in particular, we hear that she has turned her attention to city elves getting caught in the templar/mage conflict crossfire - her ‘people’ are expanding from the dalish to all elves, and her cause is expanding from ‘history’ to ‘rights’. To the present. To fixing things. So, she still likes the old ways and wants to restore them, and she sees the systematic abuse elves suffer clearer than any other companion in game (apart from maybe Fenris, though Fenris makes comments rather than actionably trying to fix whats going on). 

So Solas comes to Merrill, an incredibly talented mage and historian, who basically rebuilt her own eluvian from scratch, and recruits her. And Merrill goes with him because she can restore the old ways, and protect her people who’s treatment is getting steadily worse and worse (masked empire, but I also imagine by da4 we’ll see that Solas’s prophecy of ‘they’ll blame the elves’ for the dai events will be coming true - especially with them disappearing) - and perhaps the only way she can see it getting better is a complete revolution where the current order is completely overthrown (she had some role models there, after all). And she becomes your sympathetic villain because not only is she doing it for all the right reasons (not for elves long dead, but for elves now) but also because...can you imagine Varric and her seeing one another on opposite sides of a battle? His daisy who wandered into gardens she wasn’t supposed to? Or Isabela? Can you imagine the internal struggle that would play out in Merrill’s mind. She’s a keeper - it’s her job to remember. But does remembering truly equal restoring? Would she convince herself that the collapse of the veil would actually be good for everyone? Would we have scenes where she tries to beg Varric to listen to her? Where she tries to get Fenris to? Hawke? The new protagonist? 

Merrill is kind. Being in that position would tear her apart, and I think it would tear her apart in incredibly interesting ways. 

I also think she’d be a great final act betrayal for Solas. Because she’s clever, so clever, and I think eventually, she’d realise that what Solas was trying to do was probably going to destroy a lot of elves too, let alone humans. And I think she could be a great dagger in the back for Solas, and a great friend for us in the final part of the game if we chose to let her work with us (maybe similar to Loghain? To get her we have to lose a current companion or something?).

BUT there’s also a lot of worry. All of this, if done, would have to be done with such nuance and tact that I’m not entirely sure they can devote to a secondary character who wouldn’t be around the protagonist much. Like, it couldn’t be like Calpernia, it would have to really show an intense internal Merrill struggle to make me enjoy it and to not, ya know, massacre my favourite character in the entire franchise. Also, its impact would be very tied to how many da2 characters are going to be present. There’s literally no point in doing this if Merrill isn’t going to actually be on the opposite side to her friends, if Varric isn’t going to have an absolute break down about his Daisy, if the new protagonist isn’t going to have the perfect moment to kill her and her weapon is knocked out of her hand by Isabela.

And also...Merrill is our ‘good’ blood mage. I deeply, deeply don’t want that to change. Merrill shows a nuance to magic, shows a perspective that is alien to the chantry in a very sympathetic light. And I think it would be too easy to demonise her. Or like...have what Fenris said about her ‘justifying her need for power’ by killing innocents for their blood come true. Which, I think Merrill as our resident sympathetic blood mage needs to stay away from that - she can’t be the person to sacrifice innocents for magic because a) she cares too much and b) then we have no blood mage left in bioware cannon for us to like - we just have confirmed chantry propaganda about why they’re bad. 

And also...I just don’t trust bioware to do it right. Like. I think Merrill cast as bad-guy-on-Solas’s-side would too quickly become someone obsessed with the old order, someone close to Solas. And honestly? Merrill would kick Solas’s ass if she’d been in dai. Like. Solas is incredibly disrespectful to elves! All the time! To the dalish! I couldn’t see Merrill being friends with him at all. She’d find him interesting for about 3 seconds, and then he’d go and say something racist, or something mighter-than-thou and it would totally rub her the wrong way. I think Solas would remind her so much of her Keeper and their circular arguments and the fact that she never listened to Merrill. Which again, could be an interesting dyanamic, but I’m not sure it would have room to breathe that it needed in a video game format. Merrill could reveal how Solas doesn’t actually care about elves, but only about the ghosts of the old elves, and she could do that by being on his side or ours, but the temptation in the writers room to make her Solas’s second in command in an uncomplicated way I think would be pretty high. 

Idk. Like. I think it could be good. I would read a fanfiction with this premise that was Merrill centric and explored all these interesting things. But there’s just so many ways it could go horribly wrong that I just. It is my deepest fear for da4. Because I could handle them butching quite a few of the characters, but Merrill is so important to me if they did it wrong I’d be so fucking sad I’d probably struggle to play the game much. 

[romeoandjulietyouwish]

okay so im thinking about your 🏠 imodna au and i feel like they couldn’t meet ALL the bells hells as roommates at once (because that’d be a lot of roommates to get at once lol) so if you don’t mind here’s some other ways they could meet people i’d love to hear your thoughts on because your writing mind is genius

i feel like chet does actually have to be the roommate (or the first, i do agree they all end up moving in eventually) but like. he sees the ad for another roommate and he answers it. and they end up with this curmudgeonly old guy. and i feel like imogen especially keeps telling laudna she’s gonna kick him out (on days when chet is being especially frustrating) and laudna is just like, darling. first of all no you won’t, but second of all, what if he left and just died of old age? how would you feel then? and so imogen puts up with him (until she finally realizes that ofc she does like him, beneath it all)

imogen and laudna have great minds for design and what they want to do. what they don’t have? strength! so that’s where ashton comes in for sure. he’s not technically a construction worker, sure, but they’ll take any job you offer them and he’s a whole lot cheaper too (and shit they’re good at it? and actually beneath their tough demeanor they’re really cool and nice too)

i feel like FCG always has to come along with ashton so i guess they’re just a friend who maybe just tags along one day? maybe ashton mentions that they think FCG would like their new clients?

imogen is at a flea market one day (with laudna of course, laudna keeps her from getting too anxious in crowds) to get barter for some cheap decor and she sees fearne steal something. she wouldn’t care except she was just about to buy it—she chases fearne down and tries to convince fearne to give it to her or she’ll turn fearne in (once fearne realizes that imogen is not really a do-gooder/snitch type and in fact just really wants whatever she just stole, fearne instantly adores her. she does not give imogen the item, but helps her look around the flea market and get good deals on similar things (and sometimes steals things for imogen although imogen doesn’t encourage this))

maybe when they have a second bedroom open, orym is the next to take it? it’s been very interesting watching cr3 versus the fanon version of him because im so used to fanon that im like “oh yeah he moves into town all sad and lonely because of will’s death (and/or not being with Dorian anymore)” but im behind in cr3 and im at the point where they’re talking about the fact he’s actually the most normal/stable of them all and tbh that’s true (although he obviously is hiding all his shit) but for those reasons idk what fits for a good way to get orym into this au

so yeah some of these ideas make more sense than others in my brain so I’d love to hear your thoughts

I hope it’s okay that I decided to tweak your idea, im just avoiding homework and really love all your aus but am especially excited about this new one so my brain was like “ahh them all becoming roommates at once would be awesome but also a little chaotic, how could they all slowly be incorporated to the au over time?”

It's absolutely okay!

I actually think that Chetney is someone they hire to help them, ya know because he's good at working with wood and there's a shit ton of waterlogged floorboard in the house. And over time, you're so right, the two of them do grow begrudgingly fond of him to the point that when construction is almost over, they offer him the extra attic room.

Oh my god I love the idea of Ashton being a construction worker and FCG being their best friend that just goes everywhere that they do (I love the idea of modern au FCG being in a wheelchair and maybe Ashton learned construction and shit to help build ramps and lifts for them). And the same thing happens, construction is almost done and Imogen offers the two of them a room.

Orym is probably the only one who responds to the roommate ad. He doesn't know much about construction, but he needs a cheap place to live. And he's the connection between the witches and Fearne, when they find out that Orym and Fearne are friends, she moves in too. So everyone but Chetney is doubled up in rooms.

[cogito-dreams]

HELP SORRY FOR THE DOUBLE REBLOG I REBLOGGED TO THE WRONG BLOG

ANYWAY

WEEPS I THINK THEY COULD BE SO GOOD FOR EACH OTHER AS FRIENDS... bc like!!! like you said, for bovary a platonic relationship/relationship in which something physical or romantic Isnt wanted is still something new and different and maybe even confusing, so since basil is very clearly into someone else/not wanting anything romantic right now i can imagine it would be a relief there,, and then on the other side of things basil has never really had a proper friend/support system who was there for more than his talents so to finally have a friend that doesnt expect anything of him,, WAUGH BOTH OF THEM FINALLY HAVING A HEALTHY FRIENDSHIP...

and i think ur def right about them gravitating towards each other!! theyve both kind of got that sopping wet dog energy LOL so i think it would be easy for them to maybe recognize a little of their own hardships in each other,, and MAN when the golden bough resonances and their cantos start happening its def gonna be so important to have each other bc like!! all the cantos are kind of reliving what happened to the person involved in it?? in a way?? and i know for basil things wouldve Definitely been different if he had had a friend at the time that all the stuff with dorian went down, and maybe things wouldve gone better for bovary too if there had been an external support like a friend when everything was happening... so now that everything is happening Again when the cantos happen, it would probably feel so much different now that they have each other to lean on at least a little bit even if it doesnt get rid of all the trauma that would come from going through it all again with the golden boughs,,

i love love LOVE ocs making friends and supporting each other and i think w these two in particular they could work so well together!! basil isnt super talkative anymore but i think hed eventually really enjoy listening to bovary talk and it would help distract him from his own thoughts too so he’d be able to reply properly at some points as well,, i love them both so much already JGLDSKJG

Sobs your tags give me life!! Please get them out of their husband's grasp so they can failboy more efficiently also genuinely sorry if this is uncomfortable or weird (then just ignore it) but squishes them together with basil... a bit... bc they're both sad

Bc I love basil sm he makes me so happy I love his hair!!! And little face

CMERE BOVARY IM GETTING U OUT OF THERE!!!! GOODBYE TO THE HUSBAND ITS TIME TO FAILBOY

ALSO PSPSPSPS i love oc interactions its not weird at all!!!! honestly i think they could get along so well,,, both of them having such messed up experiences w prior relationships (even if. basil still refuses to acknowledge that it was messed up) and trying to get out there on their own and find their own way in life,,, i think they have so much in common vibes-wise that they could def get along and im holding them so gently

like even if they dont have a lot to talk about i can imagine them just. sitting quietly together. sometimes being sad is a little less painful to deal with when theres someone sitting there with you also sad and you can just sit in sadness together and it helps

im holding them both so gently!!!! ty for the ask i would love to talk about these two more if youd also like to!!!

[stop-breaking-my-heart-telltale]

Can we take a moment to talk about what a tragic character Minerva is? Y’all know that for the longest time I haven’t been the biggest fan of her, and honestly I’m still not? but I think I might’ve had a breakthrough on why that is. 

Whenever I’ve asked around to see why people find her so appealing or why they consider her their favorite, I’ll get answers like, “she’s such a complex character and she deserved a redemption arc!” or “she should’ve come back to the school with us! Let Minnie be happy, you cowards! Telltale did her dirty! I could write paragraph after paragraph about her!” all sorts of things along those lines… but like, no one seems to want to actually talk about her. I find that interesting? Since when I do follow up with a “care to explain further?” I get nothing. Radio static. Like…. no, talk to me please, I just wanna understand-

Minerva within the context of TFS is such a tragedy. She grew up in a school for troubled youth where all the adults left them for death at the start of the breakout, they had walkers trying to eat the living all around them, and I’m sure she saw her fair share of traumatic violence and despair… but on the bright side, she always had her twin sister, Sophie, and little brother, Tenn. She had her friend and eventual girlfriend, Violet. She had music, and a dorm full of pretty paintings done by Sophie. She and Louis composed a song together to make everyone feel better. There are worse places to live than the school. 

Then one day she got traded away to a bunch of raiders against her will, having no idea what the hell these people were gonna do to her and Sophie. They were made to be soldiers to fight in a war that had nothing to do with them. The delta fucking broke her. If we’re to believe Lilly’s story about the twins, they started their brainwashing process early on when Sophie was still alive, and it seems like Minerva was easier to control as Sophie was still planning a way out and causing trouble. Then, when Sophie convinced her to steal a boat and get the hell out, they got caught and the delta forced her to murder her own twin sister. 

Like…. I’m sorry, not only did Minerva kill her own sister, but she was made to believe that was the right thing to do? That line she says about how she had to prove her loyalty to the place she calls home? That shit’s ingrained in her brain, you can tell that isn’t the first time she’s heard or said that very thing. That is what made her family to the delta. Delta is her home now, her family. Sophie was just a thing that needed to be dealt with. You keep your head down, do as you’re told, and you survive.  You survive and you get to go home, eat a hot meal, take a shower, and be with your delta family.  If not, you end up like Sophie.

What’s also fucked is that Minerva actually cares about these people now. Think about that. After everything they did to her and made her do, she’s been trained to see them as her family and obey. When you save Louis and he kills Dorian, Minerva actually cries out and is visibly hurt by her death. When she’s with the other raiders on land, she's screaming at walkers to get away from them. She cares about the people who made her kill Sophie… and no one ever talks about that??

She fucking hates Clementine. Clementine is just another thing in Minnie’s way. I know the part of the fandom likes to ship these two together and they think it’s hot when they fight and shit, but within the canon text, Minerva wants Clementine gone. Dead. She is the thing stopping her from having her old family merge with her new family. If Clementine hadn’t made them fight, they all would’ve been captured and they’d all be a delta family now. She would’ve had Tenn back. 

Clementine is the problem, she made everyone fight back and that’s why people are dead. Minerva hates her for it… it’s not a “I hate you but like the sexual tension, y’know?” that I see people pretend it is, it’s “you are ruining everything and if I have to, I will kill you myself and I won’t give a second thought about it when they toss your body overboard.”

Like….. seriously, think about how fucked up all of this is. Minerva is a husk of who she was before she was taken away. Sure, you do have to keep in mind that when Tenn and Violet are describing her, their sights are a bit clouded, y’know? But I do believe that she was someone who was kind and cared about people, she wanted to make people feel safe and comforted. 

Now she’s a brainwashed soldier who won’t help the people she used to call friends when they’re about to get limbs cut off. She won’t hesitate to knock someone unconscious or threaten a child.  She’s willing to trick them into being captured with no regard for what’s going to happen to them. … all she knows is this was the mission, and now they all get to be together again back at the delta. 

Then when she finds out there’s a bomb on the boat, she ditches Violet to blow up with it in order to make it to land herself. She loses her shit seeing everyone die and gets her face chewed off by a walker… and then she tries to blow Clementine and AJ up with a grenade. 

Oh, and who can forget the fact that she tracks the group down with plans of murdering Tenn so that they can go to a better place together? And she’ll take down anyone who gets in her way?

Like….. jesus christ, Minerva’s waaaaay too far gone. It’s awful. 

I think that’s what stumps me about why she’s so loved in the way that she is. It’s not that I don’t understand why she’s complex and well-written, I get that perfectly fine. She’s a compelling character study when you comb over all her scenes and take different factors into account.

What I don’t understand is why we tend to just throw everything interesting about her away? For what? 

These days, I never see anyone talking about any of this unless they’re insisting she deserved a redemption arc which…. Eh, I’ll touch on this later. What I mostly see here and mostly other platforms is how great it would be if she and Clementine made out, or hey what if she and Violet got back together if she did come back to the school? Or they just….the best term I have for this is “uwu-ify.” As in she’s reduced to a caricature of a tall, pretty, mean, white lesbian who has “good damage.” 

People insist that Telltale are cowards or bastards because their predictions of her turning on the delta to save Clem and crew didn’t happen. Instead, Minerva ends up being the final baddie you gotta get away from, and she ends up taking someone down with her. But did you really expect to just do a 180 and suddenly decide being brainwashed for over a year was lame and Clementine and friends are cool? Gonna help them out and be with Tenn again? Sure, there’s some left over trauma but love conquers and fixes everything, right?

Uh…. no? That’s not how people work? Honestly, if we entertain the idea that Minerva wasn’t bit and somehow didn’t murder Clementine when they all got back to the school…. romance is the last thing she is ever gonna think of??

I think that’s what bothers me most when reading these au’s and rants about redemption and the entire idea of clemerva as a whole. It’s the same thing that I see happen with Violet- Minerva only has value to fans if she’s in a wlw relationship. By herself, she doesn’t matter. They don’t care about her canon story, they don’t care about Sophie, they don’t care about discussing what could’ve happened if she and Tenn reunited under better circumstances or had a healing recovery together. But why?

Throwing a girlfriend at her isn’t some band aid that’s gonna cover up all the bad she went through?? Having an enemies to lovers romance with Clementine isn’t going to fix a years worth of brainwashing, trauma or the fact that she murdered her own sister and the delta told her she's proved her worth to them?? 

Having the support of those around her is a good thing, don’t get me wrong. The idea of the Ericson crew as a whole trying to help her out and do the best they can to accommodate her is bittersweet since there’s only so much they can do. They’re not trained therapists, which is what Minerva would need and plenty of years ahead of her to work through and come to terms with everything that happened as well as taking steps forward. I’m not saying that she shouldn’t have friends or that she couldn’t have a healthy romantic relationship someday... but that isn’t the solution, y’know? 

I don’t know how else to explain this, but it makes me feel weird that all of this stuff is flat out overlooked or doesn’t appear to matter to fans of her. 

Look, I get it. We all want these characters to be happy. AU’s are a thing, after all. Sometimes we want to forget about the bad things and focus on the good that bring us comfort. You wanna gush about the idea of an AU where the twins never got traded, the raiders didn’t exist, and Clementine got to meet them the way they were before? I feel that, AU’s are super comforting and fun to explore, and my point isn’t to try and shame anyone who has an AU you like this. 

Hell, you think I don’t have days where I pretend mute Louis isn’t a thing because the whole concept of Louis having his tongue cut out of his mouth breaks my fucking heart? No, lot’s of days I just want to forget everything about that route, I want to set aside all the bad and just intake as much clouis fluff as I can get…. But that doesn’t mean I always ignore or refuse to acknowledge the bad just because I don’t like it. I fucking hate the fact that Louis loses his tongue when you don’t save him, but guess what? That’s a canon route you can play, just like any other route, and the possibilities that come with a mute Louis are vast and compelling. 

This is how it is for me… my favorite characters are my favorite for a reason, and I take all the bad with the good. Louis isn’t perfect, and I don’t want him to be. I was to dive into his backstory about why did that to his parents, I like to talk about what he went through with Marlon’s murder and his feelings about AJ and Clementine at the point, I like to view his love of music as bittersweet. He can stand on his own, and while he is a love interest for Clementine, that isn’t his only purpose. 

I know everyone’s different, they express their love for characters in their own ways, but I do have a genuine question: do you guys actually like Minerva?

Believe it or not, I’m not trying to step on toes or make everyone feel defensive which I know is how people will react to this. “You’re just saying all of this to make us feel bad for shipping clemerva! You don’t even like Minnie so you don’t get to say shit!” yeah yeah, I hear you and look, it’s true that she’s not my favorite character. I know I’ve said I hate her in the past but upon reflection and throwing out fandom interpretations.... I don’t hate her. I get it now. She’s a great character study to dissect and analyze and I think she deserves more than what the writers and the fandom have given her. 

And yeah, what I do hate is clemerva, and I’ve explained why. It’s not for me, it makes me uncomfortable, but at the end of the day, who cares? Me not liking it doesn’t mean anything to those who create AU’s for them. They have their reasons, they can do as they please as long as they’re not hurting anyone. I’m just here pointing out things I see and things that bother me in hopes of starting a discussion.

There’s my ramble about Minerva. I’m gonna go make some tea now. 

[loumauve]

I'm gonna miss Robbie so fucking much, he brought so much to their group dynamic and of course him and Liam and Ashley were such a great trio and Ashley got me real good with the sending stone messages holy crap my heart.. I'm just.. I wasn't ready for him to go. I know everybody's been waiting for this moment, with all the comments abt him being a guest and it not being permanent it was hard to just enjoy the time we had with him (youtube comments for the most part, btw, and fuck that noise). I just really hope we get to have him back eventually.

As frustrating as some of Dorian's choices were (and I already ran into that while watching EXU) Robbie is just so good, and he makes such interesting choices and I loved that, I'm gonna miss that. Interesting choices (even when they're the ones that make you wanna scream at the screen) are just so fun, too.

For now I'll try to move past the sadness and just stay optimistic, I am looking forward to the EXU special that was announced, I've been missing Opal and Dariax and Aabria (and maybe even Fy'ra Rai if we're lucky), can't wait to see them again.

Anyway, it was a blast having you around, Robbie, and I hope you know that you'll be missed. It was a damn joy and a blessing to have you for this long. <3