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daemonwritesstuff · 7 months ago

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MATCHUP TRADE WITH @sugutoad - 100% completed

A/N: Hi Anna! im so happy to do yet another trade with you! these are so fun to do and hopefully we can do more soon haha. I hope you enjoy this so much as much as I did with mine.

HARRY POTTER FAMILY ANALYSIS

Your Significant Other Is…

You have been matched with Regulus Black! After some thinking about your other HP matches he seemed like a more better fit for you.

Kallias Black!

The oldest child and brother! aka Regulus and Annas first child! He was born after you guys got married, He went to school the same time as the boy who lived did. they arent really close together since Kallias despises him for some reason. He is also Regulus's favorite child (he loves all his children ok??). Regulus was over the moon when he found out his son got into slytherin, He's very proud of his kids, even if they dont know. Kallias can get a bit too angry sometimes but calms down right away when his parents comfort him, he would do anything to make his mom and dad proud.

Illiana Black!

The second and oldest child! the sweet and intellegent child of Anna and Regulus Black. She daydreams a lot because you know... she dreams a lot, and she can acheive those dreams! She's really good at all of her classes, the black family is very intellegent. She's always with her pet dog, Sirius, which annoys her uncle sometimes and Regulus is super happy about haha.

Fayette Black!

The Third Daughter of Anna and Regulus Black! She's known for being super rebellious and mischievous. She gets in trouble a lot or playing with other peoples wands or causing chaos. She reminds Regulus to much like his Brother Sirius, they're just too alike! but it doesn't nessacarly make him annoyed or angered, he loves his daughter so much, he probably has to stop some arguments with her siblings. Regulus is a girl dad frfr.

Dorian Black!

Second Son and The Fourth Child! I think Kallias got a little jealous and upset when he got told that he's gonna have a younger brother, he wants to be the only son! enough with that though... Dorian is the peacemaker, he's everyone's favorite even if they don't show it, he's super popular In school and he knows it! He can be a little shy around people he doesn't know, so when his mom or dad is around he'll always hide or stay beside them, its so cute to regulus and Anna haha. He has to be forced to do his work or he'll be grounded which causes him to whine for a while but eventually stops. You always have to cook vegetarian meals for Dorian sinces he Vegetarian which you and regulus are fine with of course.

Nyla Black!

The Last and Youngest Child of Regulus and Anna Black! The cutest child in the house, you guys spoil her a lot and she turned out to be a cute yet has no brain cells kinda bimbo. But shes very hardworking and Regulus is very proud of that as well. She's probably the first person in the black family to want to do more independent things in the house. one time when her boundries were being pushed too far she scared the person with some scary figure and lets say that person never came back...

Raising a Child — before, during and after

Regulus was probably only present for the three of his kids birth after Voldemort controlled his mind into maddness

It was hard to raise 3 kids on your own, you had help from his brother Sirius, and some other family members but it was still hard without having the father present.

But before that they raised their children with so much love that it would blind you. They would take their children to places they wanted to go and they would also buy their children as many toys they want

While Regulus was away, Anna did everything she could to make her kids not forget their father, she would tell stories about Regulus when they met at Hogwarts, how their dates were, etc...

After a while Regulus came back and there were a lot of tears... of happiness of course, it was good for Regulus to be back with his family again, he never let you guys go when he came back.

He would take his kids for ice cream and to the park on the best summer days possible, he even takes them to the pool and teaches his younger kids how to swim!

Overall, this family is very successful and very happy, for eternity.

Reactions:

Black Family: You were probably in an exchanged marriage with Regulus ngl, but in a good way, your family was rich and successful so why wouldn't they wanna get you both married! little did they know you guys were already dating, which shocked them but surprising it didn't make them mad, when they found out you guys were having kids they were so overjoyed, Sirius always comes to the house to spoil your children (only when his parents aren't there)

Family Dinner and Date Nights

Family dinners can be a bit chaotic since everyone is gonna talk over one another about their days, or just random stuff, sometimes even food fights happen with the younger ones! but they are stopped right away.

Usually its very nice when having dinners though, its always good to hear the kids talking and just having a good time

Date Nights happen very rarely since you both can be busy sometimes but you'll always try to find a way to get out of the house, and you'll get Uncle Sirius and Jaxrel to babysit the kids LMAO

Your dates with him are with you going to your favorite places, or staying in a cafe while its raining and hands are intertwined together, your love with Regulus is very peaceful and heartwarming.

#[❁] albert / jaxrel posts !#matchup #matchups #harry potter matchup #harry potter matchups #harry potter x reader #regulus black

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raviniaraven · 1 year ago

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@eldritchsquared This has made me very happy bc I love my Disaster Man and I gotta make more stuff with him

(Context for everyone else, I put these tags on a thing about OCs:)

This explanation is gonna be kinda long so I'm gonna put it into a ReadMore

So! This is one of my oldest OCs, Dorian Pierce!

I recently redrew him bc I'm hoping to make a short VN game for Halloween about him and another one of my OCs named Sana!

So explaining his story is hella complicated and idk if it makes sense but I'm gonna try! He lives in a town called Lacrymosa, and his initial plot is that he gets these blackout fugue states where he goes out and kills people, then shows back up at his house like "ah hell not again". He ends up in a relationship with my OC Sana, bc when he runs into her the fugue states stop, and only start up again when she's not around for too long. Sana is a sweetheart 100% and doesn't learn about the Murder Tendencies until they've been together for a hella long time, and the initial story I wrote for them revolved around when Dorian gets arrested for the murders, escapes, and while Sana is helping him hide they get into a shootout with police; he dies, she flips out and starts shooting at the people that shot him, and also dies.

That was the initial plan. Then I started fleshing it out more, and his backstory started to incorporate one of my other oldest OCs, Mystere:

This is Mystere! She's a God that's basically responsible for creating 95% of my OCs, as well as the afterlife that became my story focus as I developed more stuff, a place I called Libra; the current overall format of the stories that I'm working on involves a different character named Rayne who is a conduit for other spirit's memories, where she can relive them and repair spiritual damage (also she's Dorian's granddaughter, I'll get to that).

Dorian was originally a sort of guard of Libra, keeping unwanted powers from entering. Think the angels outside of the Garden of Eden, flaming sword and all. He ended up trying to usurp Mystere, and She handily kicked his ass; the scars he's got everywhere are from this Godly Ass-Kicking.

As a punishment for his actions, She made him into a human, and in the process his spirit got kinda scratched up and corrupted, which is what caused the fugue states. Sana has an innate ability to semi-repair damage to spirits, so being around her calms Dorian's fugue states; she doesn't know about this, she's just sweet and likes helping people.

So after their deaths, both Dorian and Sana end up back in Libra as their afterlife. Through rules about spiritual connections based on affection and relationships, they end up creating the spirit of their son, Dante. Dante eventually decides he wants to see what stuff is like outside of Libra, and manages to convince Mystere to make him human (since the process is willing this time, it's not as damaging as it was to Dorian).

Unfortunately, he's kind of an asshole. Dante ends up being a dictator of a place I called Imperi, and does a lot of pretty awful shit, including waging massive wars and experimenting with human augmentations (I have a handful of characters that are the results of these experiments, they're kinda lizard/human hybrids)

Eventually, Dorian and Sana are sent back to the human world for the purpose of trying to stop their dick of a son from destroying everything. They arrive in the middle of a revolution, as Dante is trying to escape Imperi. Sana tries to talk to him about what he's been doing, he says some insulting things to her, and Dorian gets pissed. You know how I mentioned that he used to have a flaming sword? He got it back when they went to stop Dante, and uses the spirit-specific nature of the sword to basically slice Dante's spirit in half.

This leads to Dante becoming Cursed, and I still have to flesh out the details of what that means beyond a change in appearance, but he ends up hiding out in another country I made called Gelia. He mainly wanted to hide out in Gelia bc that's where his ex-wife, Aura, went when the revolution hit Imperi; Aura wants nothing to do with him, but he wanted to stay close to keep an eye on their daughter, Rayne.

Eventually Rayne becomes friends with Dante (she doesn't know it's him, she knows him by the name Damien and she's only seen old photos of Dante). They end up going to help some of Rayne's friends that got stuck on an island where a lot of the lizard hybrids caused by Dante's experimentation ended up, and eventually one of the hybrids recognizes Dante and tries to attack him; Rayne tries to protect him and ends up dying instead, ending up in Libra and meeting her grandparents and a bunch of other related characters.

I have a massive family tree of related characters that end up in Libra, and eventually I'm going to write a good draft of the story I'm planning out of Rayne being a Conduit and experiencing all of their memories and stuff. I think I have some hella old drafts floating around on different fiction sites, but their pretty far from canon now

Thanks for giving me the opportunity to gush about my babies! I hope this made any sort of sense, in my head all this kinda looks like a corkboard full of drawings and red strings

#my ocs #the libra/conduit series of stuff is my most complicated group of ocs #i also have a group of characters that lives in arkham massachusetts that is my other oldest ocs

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dungeons-and-dragon-age · 1 year ago

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you said you're holding yourself from going into details of your quizes dealing with an arm loss. can you elaborate on it here? :)

yea!! thank you for enabling me hfkdlsfjdl <3

will preface this by saying i'm working off of the fact that this is a high fantasy setting where heavy injury etc is way more common and also this is dragon age so things don't Have To Make Perfect Sense lolol

but n e way!

Gonna start off with June cos the Actual Arm Loss has much less impact on her. It still needs a lot of getting used to and adjustment in how she goes about doing things, and she does have times where she gets frustrated with how difficult mundane things are now, or with how slow the progress is, or with needing so much help.

It's the magic-y part that has the biggest impact; the mark's been there for a good 3 years, and her body had gotten used to having it there, so it suddenly being gone, especially after expanding so drastically, kind of fucks up her magic balance and drains her both physically and mentally for a long time. She also hadn't realised how used she'd gotten to intuitively tapping into the anchor's powers until she couldn't do it anymore, so that took readjusting as well.

Otherwise it doesn't take a big toll on her mentally though; if anything, she is kind of relieved to have the arm (or rather the anchor) gone. It's caused an insane amount of pain especially towards the end, and truth be told she'd seriously considered having it removed more than once, so in a way this being how she got rid of the mark is kind of ironic. But what's done is done, and she'd rather tackle the challenge than dwell on it.

As for the prosthesis, the first one she gets and main one she uses is basically a substitute staff -- or rather wand lol. Dagna designed it early on because June is used to bare-handed casting (don't do that at home kids), so she'd instinctively try to channel mana to a hand that Is Not There Anymore which was uh. messy. So! Simple device that lets her channel magic safely and accurately :) They've developed it since then to be more versatile and sturdy, but overall it's still light and simple enough to be easily strapped on and off and to not immediately break when she accidentally tries to lean on it. She does learn to control her casting better also, but on missions it's a practical tool to have. She does have some other simple, utilitarian prostheses for when she really needs a 2nd "hand" to say, grab or hold something, but rarely ever uses them unless she really needs it (too much of a hassle to put on and off & too exhausting to use for long) Full mech arm is being workshopped! Tbh mostly for fun than for "i need this" purposes, but since the Inquisition is still standing they have the resources to do it, and because June and Dagna (and Dorian) are nerds who don't back down from a challenge, they Will do it. Lots of experimenting with levels of complexity, materials, runes, magic, and how to make all that work together, and how to make it work in theory if surgical procedures were involved (neither of them are medics tho so uh. the results are questionable fdkjfs)

ok wow that got a lot longer than anticipated lmaoo so Ari under the cut!

Ari Does Not take it as well oops. Mostly bc Trespasser & the aftermath of it is already So Much (June is much more distanced from all of it but to Ari it Matters. A Lot.) and dealing with the loss of his main hand/arm on top of that is just Too Much, so with everything piled together rehab does not go nearly as smoothly. Doesn't exactly help that things he'd usually do to wind down like cooking or hunting or taxidermy are, well, hard to do now, so the stress and frustration pents up a lot and he's just. not having a great time. Luckily he has a good support system though and he does get better, eventually.

At least for Ari the magic aspect isn't as much of an issue. I do hc that the anchor gives non-mages some magic adjacent abilities, and the strength of its influence is more than enough to mess up non-mages mana balance as well, but it's not nearly as severe as it would be if he were a mage and takes a lot less readjustment (long term anchor fucked-up-ness notwithstanding).

Like June he also never gets a full on mech arm, and doesn't intend to. Ari isn't as close with Dagna and not as keen on experimenting, or has the time or brain space to invest in fancy gadgets, but he makes good use of utility tools to help him for things like keeping a clipboard steady or holding reigns, but especially for archery. The first solution was the mounted crossbow like in the epilogue slides, which.. works. It's not elegant and not always practical, but it does its job well enough and he does make sure to keep in practice with it. Later he gets a prosthesis with which he can draw a proper bow; with entirely different techniques he has to get used to, but he greatly prefers it. Takes a long time before he becomes proficient with archery again, but he's glad he doesn't have to give it up. Helps that at this point it is mostly recreational since he does way less field work over the years post Trespasser, which makes the limitations to speed and draw weight much less of an issue.

#idk how coherent this is lolol but ty for the excuse to ramble! xD #archery aids for amputees do exist irl so that's kinda what i've got in my head for what ari uses #tho idk yet if he'd keep doing it left handed or if he'd switch so he can draw with his right #oc: ari adaar #oc: june trevelyan #my ocs #only tangentially related to this lol but kinda funny how their states of mind switch between main game and post trespasser #june gets better and ari gets worse <3 #(related in the way that it informs how well they handle adjusting to the loss of arm)

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fade-and-loathing-in-thedas · 2 years ago

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do any of your other amells have romances? also what are the deets for akroma leaving cullen 👀

Hahaha omg you've unlocked the beast.

I'll start with the Akroma/Cullen break-up. She really only just began her romance with Cullen when she ended it. Alistair is King in her playthrough, so since she recruited the mages she encountered him at the end. It was awkward for everyone involved. Alistair kinda lingers in her mind afterwards. She pursues the relationship with Cullen with incredible speed and a level of fixation that was a clear indicator she was trying to avoid something else (specifically her residual feelings for Alistair). It's after encountering Avacyn, and hearing her story, she kinda has to reassess how well she knows him. Then throw in her cousins getting involved, Kaalia Hawke (the Champion) and Kalum Hawke (the warden contact) and their relationship with the former Templar. Then you have the moment she wakes up in Cullen's arms, after dreaming of Alistair, and thought it was Alistair she was with. After a deep and meaningful conversation with Leliana, she kinda realised she'd been using him as a place holder and that she might need to work on getting over Alistair before trying to have a new relationship (she is very much avoido girl when it comes to dealing with her own actual emotions, and not just urges, so progress). She tells Cullen she can't be with him, cue his brooding, and then she heads to the Western Approach to avoid any awkwardness (okay, so not that much progress lol). That's all I've got, except they eventually kinda become friends again (leaning towards over protective brother in law now lol)

I've actually seriously been thinking a lot about romances for the siblings, which is how I ended up here lol

For Roman I have been leaning heavily towards Dorian. Roman has a weakness for pretty men and especially pretty men with major smarts, confidence, bordering on arrogance, and can be drama. I've got some stuff to work out here. He's kinda already in a casual thing with someone in his mercenary group, but the guy's an Orlesian and a complete dick (which has kind of been Roman's type/dating history). It's gonna take him a while to realise everyone he dates doesn't have to be an asshole. He doesn't have to be dirt for others to shine ya know.

I have also been tossing around a Jowan romance for Roman, only because the squick factor for Akroma would be hilarious. And Jowan is totally the kinda drama Roman's attracted too.

I haven't decided if Avacyn is having a relationship, but I could see her with the Iron Bull. Especially given his strong feelings around consent, understanding of power dynamics, and ability to read people. I could see him being her friend. Helping her let out the rage, setting up dummies for her to set aflame, and getting her to socialize more. He's also very much not someone who would pursue someone without explicit interest, which she would appreciate. I also think he is the kind of person who understands sex, romance, and relationships aren't all synonymous. You can have any of these by themselves, or in conjunction with any number of others and it doesn't make them any less meaningful. Idk I think they could click. What that will look like is still swimming around in my head.

Remus is straight up crushing on Leliana. Her skill with both a blade and a bow, not to mention how she could/would murder a man in his sleep. Yeah, she's his kind of woman.

As you are already aware Arcadia is currently trying to seduce Cullen in my head lol and failing dismally.

Oh and for the Amell cousins: Kaalia Hawke romanced Isabela, and Kalum romanced Anders.

#omg thank you for this ask #I'm been trying to like set my akroma au in some kind of stone but its so what if... i keep being very wishy washy lol #amell siblings #akroma amell #avacyn amell #remus amell #roman amell #arcadia amell #kaalia hawke #kalum hawke #answers

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jakeflavin · 2 years ago

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I just finished Empire of Storms, the 5th book in the Throne of Glass series. With only two books left, now is a good time for me to vomit all of my theories on how it’s gonna end.

1. With the silent assassin finally making an appearance at the very end of this book, all of the peeps from the assassins blade stories have come back into play…. EXCEPT the healer that was traveling to the southern continent. Oh wait, who was it that got hurt one book ago and was headed to the southern continent to find a healer? Thats right. My man Choal. My money is that Choal meets the healer and they team up. Idk how they team up yet. Cause Choals gf is the one that is escorting him to the souther continent and a new love interest would be awk-ward af.

2. And while I’m talking about healers, healing magic happened a lot this book and I know that is important. We learned this book that healing magic can cure or pull out poison. And Maas also loves to describe the valg that take over human bodies as a poison or a sickness that festers. I’m 60% sure a powerful healer (aka healer from the assassins blade) can expel a valg demon without killing its host. But why is there a need to expel a valg demon from a host??? Unless…

3. Someone we love is going to become a host to a valg demon. Idk who yet. Definitely not Dorian. My best guesses are Aedion or Choal.

4. Speaking of Valg… wtf is Maeve’s plan with the valg. Shes not dumb, she knows they will eventually come for her… there’s gotta be more there! She’s old as f*ck so she’s gotta have some beef or a back story with them. And she had the Wyrdkeys before Brannon stole them… was she the one that let the valg king in!?!?!? Did her and her sisters come out of the Wyrdgate?!?!? Does she want her own valg army!?!?

5. Aedions and his dad bond and start to form a solid relationship… then his dad dies in some cool sacrificial hero way… and my heart will heart.

6. I am 80% sure Elide is going to die. Love her, but she’s totes gonna die saving Aelin just like her mom (there is too much foreshadowing for this not to happen). And if she doesn’t die then she is going to almost die saving Aelin but Lorcan takes her place at the last second.

7. This one is out there… but neither Dorian or Aelin is going to die to make the lock. Dorian has a little brother that we are not emotionally attached too. He’s got havilliard blood too and can forge the lock just as well as Dorian could. So he could be the sacrifice and I’d still get to keep the characters I’m emotionally attached to. Regardless… where the f*ck is his brother and will we see him at all? Why mention that he has an evil brother if we aren’t going to see him at all in the 7 books.

8. They will converge at Terresan… and Aelins dog and Lysandas adopted daughter girl is in Terresan. The only spoiler ive gotten is that the dog loves throughout the entire story. But I really reallly want her to do something epic.

#sara j maas #throne of glass #empire of storms #booktok

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transandersrights · 2 years ago

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Info for requests/prompting

Hello I take prompts!! This is just a (hopefully short) post explaining what I write/don't write, and assorted other things. This is a Dragon Age blog so this post (which is doubling as a da drunk writing prompt list) is specific to that, but I take other requests too - you can see my fandoms most easily on ao3 (leonidskies)

Quick requesting info - easy prompts to send me are:

Ship (platonic or romantic)/character + word/phrase/song

Character + specific headcanon

Character/ship + AU

Literally just a DA thought or a vibe. I'll give it a go

When I find a fun prompt list I'll link it here

DA "drunk" writing flavour of the week: women! Please give me women to write about

For more detailed info, you can look at stuff below!

Canon stuff:

I can most easily write DA2

I can also write Origins and Inquisition characters, but I'm a little sketchier on canon events there (esp for Origins)

For spinoffs, I can write Absolution and things based on the DA novels (except Tevinter Nights)

Character stuff:

Anders is easiest for me! Beyond that, I'm most confident with mage and elf characters, but happy to give anyone a shot

I'm happy to write specific or non-specific DA OCs. If I get no specification at all, my OCs (Adrel Surana or Ilassan Lavellan) might make guest appearances

If you'd like me to do someone a little more obscure pls just make sure they have a wiki page. But I'm very flexible I promise!

Unless you specify, I'm gonna assume that you're happy with characters being written as complex + not necessarily good all the time. My DA opinions will colour how I write characters!

Ships:

Go nuts. I am not picky (some exceptions noted below). I love rarepairs

Handers is my bread and butter. Beyond that I have little experience but much enthusiasm

I will happily write poly ships!

I'm most comfortable writing explicitly queer ships (incl m/f with trans characters or m/f with canonically bi characters)

If you give me literally any platonic dynamic I will write it very happily

My "canon" is nb!Surana/Zevran/Leliana, m!Hawke/Anders, and m!Lavellan/Dorian (also trying out: m!Lavellan/Josephine). Again, they might pop up unless you're specific about not wanting them

Keep in mind that I might not write your ship in the way you're used to it being written!!

I love writing:

MAGES

Elves

Platonic relationships

Trans and nonbinary characters

Disabled characters

A variety of queer headcanons

Found family/family feelings

Any setting

I will not write (DA relevant):

Pro-Circle/Chantry/Templar

Mage/Templar ships (including former Templars, including Seekers), unless they're Tevinter

Master/slave ships

Varric ships (I am sorry he is aroace to me)

Canonically gay characters in m/f relationships

I will not write (general):

Incest, adult/minor, or student/teacher

A/b/o

Cisswap

Suicide (references to suicide = okay)

NSFW/kink (fade to black/pillow talk = okay)

RPF

Harry Potter/Mafia/Police AUs

Pregnancy or bio fankids

Assorted other stuff:

I'm a very versatile writer! When I say I'll write anything I really do mean that

You'll probably get anywhere between 300-1.5k depending on the prompt and how feral I go

I will post finished requests here, but they'll also eventually make their way to ao3

I'm fast when I write. I'm very slow when I don't. That's just how it be

I take prompts at any time! They're most likely to appear on evenings when I'm working from home/the weekend

I will simply delete prompts I don't like

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narrativelysignificantturtleduck · 1 year ago

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a playlist for piandao! annotations under the cut:

this is probably the playlist that needs the annotations the most, just because piandao's backstory is not in canon and while you might know it from following me it's not like, common knowledge, and i've had to fill in the gaps with headcanons. while all the playlists are chronological to some extent, this one and aang's are the most direct.

1. take me to war - the crane wives

all the fire i have swallowed / all the sparks that went dark in my gut / i am always burning up

young piandao is far from the calm, confident master we meet in canon - he was abandoned by his parents for being a nonbender and grew up in an orphanage, feeling unvalued and anxious and angry at a world that abandoned him. "all the sparks that went dark in my gut" - his inability to firebend.

and his ticket out of there, and an outlet for his rage? well. the war. he thinks if he can make it in the military, he can prove his worth, rise above his circumstances.

this decision will haunt him for the rest of his life.

2. phenom - thao & the get down stay down

first of the secondary class-class-class / you know i don't trust you, what's the catch-catch-catch / don't you fucking touch me i will gnash-gnash-gnash

along the same themes of ambition and anger, but when he's slightly older, having joined the military. he's determined to 'pull himself up by his bootstraps', and this makes him a terrifying force on the battlefield, makes him terrifyingly determined to be a master at whatever he sets his mind to.

3. king - florence and the machine

i need my golden crown of sorrow / my bloody sword to swing / i need my empty halls to echo with grand self-mythology

here, we foreshadow his future as the revered mysterious swordmaster ("grand self-mythology"), but the ambition and drive of this song are still young piandao, particularly the musings on the value of art (we'll get to that in the next song). this also serves as a nod to the trans piandao headcanon - he is underestimated not only for being a nonbender with no parents, but also for being perceived as a woman. his desire to prove himself as a warrior is also about proving his masculinity.

4. working for the knife - mitski

i always thought that the choice was mine / and i was right / i just chose wrong

piandao eventually regrets joining the military. there are lines in this song like "i wish i was making things too" and "i used to think i would tell stories", about having given up creative, artistic dreams in pursuit of "working for the knife", and that's very much piandao, the kid who was taught art to cope with his anxiety but who left it behind to join the military. he feels this real pain of lost time, and there's very literally a possibility of "dying for the knife".

5. live by the sword - dorian electra

you wanna hit like this? you're gonna hurt like this / you want to live like this? you're gonna die like this / live by the sword and you die by the sword

piandao realizes he needs to get out of the military. yeah, this is the title of the playlist, but honestly i wish there was a better lyric with sword in it to sum him up bc living by the sword in this context is not a good thing.

6. rootless - marina

running with my roots pulled up / caught me cold so they could cut / what there was left of love

he doesn't really know what to do with himself after he leaves the military. he cuts off a lot of his old connections, and he doesn't exactly have a home to go back to. he reflects on how the military preyed on his rootlessness, lack of "family tree", so to speak, made him believe that it was the answer and then made him do cruel, heartless things in its service. he travels the world for a while, not really knowing where he's meant to be.

7. home - ellie goulding

wash the dirt, a hard day's work / know my place / on my own / no poison in my bones / on my own / this is where i build my home

piandao works as he travels, ideally something in a blacksmith's shop but it varies. he's having to start over, work hard and pull himself up for the second time. but it's better than it was. his home is his own body, but it's better to be alone than be part of an organization like the military.

8. i am a rock - simon and garfunkel

i've built walls / a fortress deep and mighty / that none may penetrate

9. johnny - sarah jarosz

when he comes back to the fire nation, having saved a fair amount from his travels, he is fairly distant and secretive. he slowly builds up his teaching business, slowly grows wealthier, enough to buy the castle he lives in when we meet him in canon. but people don't know his past when they seek him out for training, they just know his reputation, and he doesn't share. he keeps everything he learned on his travels, his membership in the white lotus, his troubled childhood, all tight inside, and as we see in canon, he's pretty selective about who he lets in.

you might not get what you pay for / you know that nothing's for sure / and an open heart looks a lot like the wilderness

i've discussed this before bc it was my #2 most listened song of 2022 but i also want to add that the "open heart" line reflects this recurring theme of closing himself off, not admitting weakness, etc. it's unfamiliar, uncharted territory for him, but he gets more open later in life, after he and sokka adopt each other as father and son and he wants to be a good parent to him. them <3

#piandao #my playlists #nina's personal log #Spotify

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ramonadecember · 2 years ago

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For Ardem:

Eros 1, 3

Philia 1, 5

Storge 1, 4

Agape 5

Ludus 1, 2, 5

Pragma 2, 3

Philautia 3, 4, 5

oc love asks.

I didn’t forget about these last ones, things have just been… a lot lately lmao. have some of my big boy.

—

Eros/1: I don’t think Ardem can be considered romantic in general, let alone in the ‘traditional’ sense. it’s been a slight issue in the past with more than one partner thinking he could stand to be a little more so. Ardem is under the firm belief that they knew what they were getting into, knew he wasn’t like that. that’s only ever started to change when it comes to Dorian, he’s been the only one Ardem has really wanted to try with. Dorian deserves the romance that he’s so often been denied in his life, and Ardem maybe wants to provide that to him…

Eros/3: Ardem isn’t the biggest fan of PDA, mostly because he isn’t a fan of anything that makes him look ‘soft.’ gotta be a cool tough guy at all times. so if there is PDA, it’s not gonna be sweet or tender, no little cuddles or hand holding. he might try to go along with it for the sake of a partner, but he wouldn’t initiate, and he’d likely end up shying away from it. if he’s feeling particularly frisky he might ‘slip’ and pull his partner into a kiss regardless of people who may be around, but it still wouldn’t be a gentle thing. it’d also depend who the ‘public’ was though, because there’s definitely situations where it’d be off the table entirely.

Philia/1: I don’t know that Ardem necessarily had/has someone he considers his ~best friend~. he always had a group of friends he was close enough with, and his little mercenary squad was practically like a small family, but there was no one person that stands out or that he was especially close with. Ardem was excited to meet Iron Bull, thought he was going to find a close connection there, someone who got him, but it’s actually been… pretty up and down, so not the bff-in-the-making that Ardem had hoped for. he’s slowly building friendships within the Inquisition though, so maybe one of them will get the title eventually, ha. he vibes with Cullen a lot more than he thought he would, and even before the eventual relationship with him, Dorian was the person who seemed to get him the most, so…

Storge/1: he def has his parent’s unconditional love. Ardem knows that he’s not always the model son, but his parents considered just like… being together and bringing a child into the world of their own accord to be such a gift in itself when the alternative was a life under the Qun, and they love him SO much, and have always made sure he knows that too. They found the work he did pre-Inquisition to be respectful, and were proud of him, particularly when he got put into a leadership role. They didn’t need him to be perfect. And I think it’s kinda like… no surprise that after the support he’s received (from them and others) that he was kinda blindsided by how much being a part of the Inquisition made him feel like such shit, ha…

Storge/4: Ardem has one sibling, a sister not too much younger than him. they have a fairly ‘typical’ sibling relationship, I’d say. they’re not wildly close, but they get on just fine. he’s definitely not ~the protective older brother~ or anything, but she’s also nearly as… rough around the edges as Ardem is, and she can handle herself. the only time it sort of ramps up is when Sera finds out and ‘jokes’ about setting them up, because Ardem recalls her comments in the past about ‘wondering what your women look like,’ and Ardem is still too unsure if they were mean spirited, a little fetish-y, or Sera truly being into a woman who could snap her in half for him to be super comfortable with that lmao.

Agape/5: between mercenary and Inquisitor, there hasn’t been a lot of room for Ardem to empathize with his enemies. Ardem is more than the ‘strike first, ask questions later’ brute he seems to be, he actually really likes the tactics and the strategy and the planning and that kind of stuff (which is why he manages to be buddies with Cullen, I think lol), and both ‘jobs’ have allowed Ardem that opportunity (more so the Inquisiton than mercenary work, because often a lot of that was out of his hands, be it because he wasn’t in charge or it wasn’t what whoever they were working for asked for), but I wouldn’t call choosing not to like… immediately resort to killing ‘empathy’ necessarily.

Ludus/1+2: Ardem isn’t skilled at flirting, and he doesn’t really have any particular lines he uses, but he also hasn’t put a lot of time or effort into making that not the case. He’s not super subtle in his attempts, but his methods can be… questionable, which lead others to wonder ‘is he …….flirting?’ lmao. Ardem can have very ‘kid pulling pigtails on the playground’ methods of flirting, which isn’t ideal, because there’s playful teasing, and then there’s whatever comments Ardem makes, ha. he’s definitely pulled back a little on that since realizing it uh, can really be taken the wrong way, but it’s still sort of the case. And this ties in with the below question, but his other move is doing things to show off/look impressive/etc. in front of the person he’s ‘flirting’ with. again, his methods are… a little juvenile, but…

Ludus/5: I don’t know that they really count as seduction techniques, but what really ‘works’ for Ardem is competence. There’s just something very, very sexy about someone who’s good at what they do, and who knows it too. He’s not opposed to cockiness when it’s warranted… It’s def like, at least what can create a spark of interest in him towards another, and it’s something that attracted him to Bull in their early days of the Inquisition (as well as the fact he’s a mountain of meat + someone Ardem (wrongfully) thought he’d have a Qunari-based connection with), and later Dorian (Ardem didn’t have a lot of experience with mages but he still knows that the skill Dorian shows sure is something special).

Pragma/2: the biggest challenge in the past that Ardem had to deal with while in a relationship was the loss of his father. Ardem took it hard, he struggled, and he… wasn’t great to the person he was with at the time because of it. he has a hard time being open and dealing with feelings, and how closed off he got at that time ended up being the final straw in a relationship that was never gonna last anyway. which brings us to the real biggest challenge Ardem has in any relationship, and that’s letting it get past a surface level thing. even in longer relationships, Ardem has made sure it never gets the deep. he doesn’t like to be/feel vulnerable or to look ‘soft’ as previously mentioned, and it means even his partners are kept at a distance. Dorian may not be the least emotionally repressed either, but Ardem knows he has to do better if he wants to keep Dorian. and he really, really wants to keep Dorian.

Pragma/3: his parents are not still together, but only because his father passed away a handful of years ago. they’re relationship was something special. as mentioned earlier… they were living free of the Qun and that gave them the ability to lead the lives they wanted with the partner of their choosing, and they made the most of that. there was so much love between them and it showed through in everything and set a great example for their kids. it’s honestly a little weird that Ardem is so relationship-averse when that’s what he had to look up to, and he could definitely stand to learn from them and strive for a love like that.

Philautia/3: Ardem holds himself to the same standards as others, if not higher ones. as a leader, both pre- and within the Inquisition, and so he thinks it’s important to set a good example. and like… yeah, we know the guy is uh. rough around the edges, he doesn’t always say or do the exact right thing, but in his actions, where it counts, he’d like to think those standards show through. he owns up to his mistakes, he doesn’t make excuses for himself, and so he sure doesn’t allow them from others, and he expects them to take responsibility for their choices as well. Ardem doesn’t think these expectations are particularly hard to meet, just the decent thing to do.

Philautia/4+5: again I’m combining because one sort of overlaps with/leads into the other. the quality about himself that always made Ardem proud was his ability to not give a damn. That’s not meant in the way it could easily be taken, where like… someone who says that is usually an asshole who doesn’t care about who they’re hurting, it’s meant in a way where like… Ardem was able to let so much just roll right off him. He was very secure in himself and his choices and his life, and if he wasn’t actually harming anyone, then Ardem didn’t care what anyone else had to say about those things. that quality of his has unfortunately kind of… gone away quite a bit in his time with the Inquisition, because that time has really changed Ardem’s opinion of himself. never before has he been so unsure of himself and his capabilities, never before has he let people’s words get to him so much. Ardem has kinda lost his sense of self.

#oc: ardem adaar #oc tag #dragon age #oc memes #ask memes #I just have one of these left after this

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violetasteracademic · 4 months ago

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Opening up and adding ToG into this, Rowaelin is my favorite mate bond story because it uses the mating bond as a dramatic device, not an inevitability. Fake mates, intercepted mating bonds, falling so deeply in love with someone and not understanding how they are not your mate... I suppose that's why I'm so drawn to Elriel as well. I love the mating bond as a device that can cause plot and drama as opposed to a story of "well it doesn't matter whether or not they love each other, it's bound to happen eventually because they are mates for a reason." But I do understand that some people enjoy the comfort and inevitability of the mating bond. Let's be honest, we all read romance because they are gonna get together in the end. It's part of the comfort. The *how* is where the possibilities and personal taste lie.

Rowan and Lyria fell in love, sure, because they were "mates first" and gave it a try. Ultimately, Rowan felt more for Aelin, who he did not believe was his mate, than he ever felt for his "mate" Lyria. I love that story. I love agency. I love a battle against fate and forming your own destiny. I love choosing love.

I kinda think SJM loves that too. Lorcan tied his life to Elide so that they could have the same lifespan. Human and Fae shouldn't have worked otherwise, at least without the sadness of only a few years together.

Dorian and Manon still chose each other despite being mortal/immortal and they are not mates.

Bryce and Hunt are mates by choice, against all odds, despite one of them being a prince of Hel test tube baby and never intended to be anything more than a soldier for the Chosen One.

No matter how you slice it, Elain is in for a fresh story. Whether you believe her story will be unique because she falls in love with someone who isn't her mate, whether we discover the corrupted Cauldron interfered with the Mother and fate and Elain and Azriel are true mates, or you believe she will face the inevitability of her current mate and simply be the first one in the entire history of SJM to have a mate revealed PRIOR to falling in love, we are going to experience the mating bond as it has never been seen before with Elain. I can't wait for her story and to see what Sarah is going to do with all of this!

So I've been ruminating on mate bonds in the ACOTAR universe today--about why a section of this fandom seems to revere the mate bond in general and assume a partner in the mate bond cannot be happy without the other.

And I was thinking of the different mate bonds we've been shown and what we've been told--

The blueprint obviously being Feysand.

I think a lot of fandom hold up Feysand as the standard--but to me, Feysand is the EXCEPTION. From what we are told in the books about mate bonds--the good, the bad, and the ugly--that mate bonds can be rejected, that sometimes the bond chooses poorly, that maybe it is just a way to make powerful offspring rather than the true coming together of souls-- the bond is not something guarantees a happily ever after and even in some cases--is a detriment.

So far in story, about 50/50 of the bonds we've been told about/seen have landed on the "good" vs "bad" side. Even in Prythian culture, they seem to move without giving the bond a thought until it happens--people marry, make alliances, have lovers without the mate bond. Sure it's mostly because it's rare but I can't help but think that it's also because even if you find your mate--it's not a guarantee perfect match.

And I think we can say that the ones we have seen, even the "good", are not comparable to Feysand. Love them or hate them, there is something so prevailing about their romance that, to get meta, is the reason I think ACOTAR is SJM's most popular work even though many agree that TOG is better written, it's why you hardly ever see Rhysand or Feyre shipped with anyone else--their romance was written so beautiful, so exceptionally, that it resonated with a lot of readers as an ultimate love story, certainly THE ultimate love story that SJM has written and propelled her to the status she has now.

Even Cassian, who is centuries old and has probably seen mates before, thinks that the whole mate thing is "bullshit" till he saw Feysand's bond.

Let's compare to Nessian. Now see, I think Nessian is more the standard mate bond. They are drawn to each other, they love each other, they choose each other -- but can we really say that their bond is comparable to Feysand? You have a huge chunk of this fandom that says Nesta should leave Cassian for Eris and that Cassian deserves better and I hardly see anyone laud their romance in ACOSF as their favorite part of the book--that's normally reserved for the Valkyrie friendship.

Let's even look at the Death Pact Feysand made. It doesn't matter if you think it's stupid or not--it fully comes across in character that Feyre and Rhysand wouldn't want to live without the other. Now, Nesta and Cassian? I definitely think that they would be distraught, broken--but do they really give the vibes that they would just die without the other? I don't even think Nessian would ever make that pact, or at least that's the vibes that their romance gives off.

Even Kallias and Vivianne, a "good" mate bond--what little we see of them--don't give off the same vibes. Kallias didn't make Vivianne High Lady, even after Vivianne expressed the desire and seeing in the Night Court it can be done.

And that brings me to Elucien. Eluciens say neither Elain nor Lucien can be happy without the other but I feel like that's because they are comparing it to Feysand instead of Nessian.

But we can see even in comparison they are not similiar.

When Feyre was with Tamlin, Rhysand was willing to let her be with another male if that's what she wanted. He was not however, willing to let her waste into nothing after what happened UTM. He used that pact that he had did not call on before Feyre was begging to be saved from the wedding, to get Feyre to safe place where she could heal and deal with her issues.

Lucien on the other hand only offered suggestions when Elain was physically wasting away. "She needs sunlight," which is a generic piece of advice but did he actually make it happen? No. And yes, it can be argued it was because Elain didn't want him around but we are told that Lucien is cunning. You're telling me he couldn't come up with something--some action, some plan-- to physically help Elain? Like Rhysand did? Even if he wasn't directly involved in taking Elain to the garden, he couldn't even find some way to directly make it happen?

Rhysand would never mumble to Tamlin to take Feyre out into the garden and then just...wait and see?

All this rambling to conclude, that yes, if every mate bond could be held up to the standard of Feysand, I think I could understand why a large portion of the fandom says mates have to be together, that that's the only way they can be happy, heal, become their best selves etc but once again, I think Feysand is the exception. Mate bonds like theirs are the true rarity and I don't think we've seen it comparably to any other romance or mate bond that SJM has written.

This is all just my two cents so take it as you will but thanks for reading it all if you got this far.

#elriel #pro elriel #elain x azriel

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jacklyn-flynn · 4 years ago

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It’s here! The burn is over! There’s a teaser below the cut and you can find the whole chapter here! I hope you like smut because this chapter is over 9k and is 90% raw, unadulterated garbage. Enjoy!

Jules didn’t know where to go or who to turn to. She was beyond mortified and loathed anyone finding out about Cullen’s rejection, but at the same time the thought of being alone was too much to bear. Bull knew, but there was no way she would get all the way down to the hanger without being seen. Her frantic attempt to zip up her coveralls had resulted in the zipper pull snapping off. She’d left her shirt in Cullen’s room so the only thing keeping her covered was the tight grip on both sides of the top of her suit.

At some point, she noticed Jasoom walking beside her, or rather trotting to keep up with her quick steps. Jules found herself letting him lead as he slipped in front of her. Up to the next level and then toward the front of the ship. He led her in a circuitous route to the mess hall and then further into the Officer’s Club. She suspected he was keeping her away from those walking through the corridors.

The Officer’s Club was also empty, save for El who sat behind the bar reading a book with her chin rested on her hand. Jules realized that she was exactly the right person to see and silently thanked the cat for leading her there. The elf didn’t notice her until Jules tried and failed to hold back a choking sob. El looked up sharply and her eyes widened. Her book fell to the bar, immediately forgotten as she moved around quickly to meet Jules in the middle of the room.

“Sweetheart, what happened to you?” She was mostly alarmed at Jules’s state of dress. She quickly drew the black and blue plaid shirt from her shoulders, revealing one arm covered in intricately designed tattoos from shoulder to fingers. “You put this on and I’ll lock the door.”

Jules let the top of the jumpsuit fall, sliding on the soft flannel and buttoning it up with shaky fingers. She tied the arms of her coveralls around her waist before hugging herself. El took her elbow gently and led her to the nearest table, pulling a chair out for her.

“First, are you hurt?” El asked gently, sitting beside her and leaning in without invading her space. Jules shook her head, eyes glittering with tears. “Do you want to tell me what happened, or do you just want me to sit with you?”

“I ruined everything,” Jules declared in a shaky whisper. “I told him about-” she hesitated, looking down and away from El’s concerned gaze, “I told him about before. Before all of this. The First Commander of the Herald-I thought it was my job-he told me it was my job to have sex with him. Cullen and I were-we were-”

“It’s okay, take your time,” El said gently when Jules was quiet for a moment, unsure of what to say. Jules’s shoulder rose and fell and she put her hand on it, rubbing the muscles that were growing tight from the repeated nervous gesture that had plagued her entire trip to the bar.

“He asked me about my past, with other men and I told him. I didn’t really want to, I was scared but I didn’t want to lie to him. I should have lied.” She looked up at El, tears streaming down her cheeks again. “The way he looked at me, like I was dirty. He backed off like I had burned him. I was so stupid to think that I could-”

“Absolutely not.” El’s stern voice interrupted her. “There is nothing stupid about you, sweetheart. I promise you that Cullen doesn’t think that you’re “dirty” or used or anything else you may be thinking about yourself. I think he was surprised by your answer. Everyone on this ship can easily see that he’s smitten with you.”

She shifted her weight on the chair. “Put yourself in his shoes. Someone you care about, who has never had it easy, is starting to open up. You’re seeing them grow and smile and make friends. And then you find out that someone took advantage of them in such a profound and intimate way at such an incredibly vulnerable moment. I’m not saying that how he reacted was right, but I can tell you that I don’t think he meant for it to happen the way that it did.” El’s gentle voice made her want to cry, but for a completely different reason than before.

“Can I call someone for you or take you home?” Her smile was contagious and Jules found herself forcing one as well.

“You're working. I shouldn't have bothered you."

"Nonsense. You're never a bother." El stood and watched with a smile as Jasoom jumped onto the table, then Jules’s shoulder before the woman herself stood. They walked back to her quarters in silence and Jules was simply grateful for someone who was willing to listen and not judge. Just be with her. “Take your time, maybe a hot shower and a nap. If you’re feeling better, you should go talk to Cullen.”

“Talk to Cullen about what?” Morgan’s voice surprised her and she looked over El’s shoulder to find him standing in his doorway. He was apparently on his way out and at the most inopportune moment.

“Nothing,” Jules tried to reassure him quickly. He looked skeptical and Jules was sure her tear stained cheeks and red eyes spoke volumes. Morgan nodded absently and walked away.

“You know Morgan won’t judge you. If you want to talk to someone, you could talk to him too.” El suggested.

“He’ll be so mad,” Jules countered, wringing her hands nervously.

“Not at you babe.” El smiled and squeezed her arm. “He’ll be mad at that long-dead fucker who doesn’t have to deal with the consequences of his actions. Will you be okay by yourself or do you want me to stay with you?”

“I think I’ll be okay. Do you really think Cullen isn’t mad at me?” She hated to ask for reassurance, especially since El had already said as much, but she needed to hear it again.

“I’m sure the only one he’s mad at is himself.” El chuckled and gave her arm a gentle squeeze. “You know where to find me if you need me and if you call, I’ll be here in five minutes or less.”

“Thank you, Elbereth. Especially for not thinking less of me.” Jules spoke softly, as if she were afraid saying the words would reveal that she did think less of her.

“I don’t see that ever happening.” The elf’s contagious smile left her with a little bit of warmth after she’d departed.

| / | \ | / | \ | / | \ | / | \ | / | \ | / | \ | / | \ | / | \ | / | \ | / | \ | / | \ | / | \ | / |

Cullen paced his room, fists clenched and jaw tight. Moron. Idiot. Fool. He’d searched all over for her. Each of the engine compartments, parts rooms, anywhere she might go to distract herself with work. She didn't answer her door. He’d even reached out to Cass, Zevran and Bull to see if they’d seen her. No luck.

The chime of his door made his head snap up. As it slid open, he started to speak, ready to go into the apology he’d been going over obsessively in his head. Instead, pain exploded in his cheek and he suddenly found himself on the floor with lights flashing behind his eyes. His vision cleared and he found Morgan standing over him.

“I told you I would fucking kill you. Did you think I was joking?” His voice was low and aggressive. “How long has she been crying?”

Cullen brushed the back of his hand against his cheek and corner of his mouth, relieved to find it free of blood. “Did you see her?” He sounded far too excited for Morgan’s liking.

“She was going into her room and it looked like she’d been sobbing. Think very carefully before you answer; what the fuck did you do?” Cullen already knew by the tone of his voice what would happen if Morgan didn’t like the answer. While he might normally have a fair shot at beating the younger Trevelyan, Morgan had fury on his side this time and that was a very powerful thing.

“I over-reacted and said something stupid.” He sat up, propped up with one arm behind him, the other rubbing his sore jaw. “The old Commander of The Herald was….I don’t know if it’s my place to say.”

“You’d better try,” Morgan growled.

“He was raping her.” Cullen was reluctant to reveal Jules’s secret. “The worst part is he convinced her it was her job. Made her go to him willingly.” The last word dripped with disgust. “When she said it was because he was the First Commander-the thought of her being with me because of my title-I didn’t react well. By the time I realized what I’d said and how it could have sounded to her...she was gone. I’ve looked everywhere for her. Her comms are off and no one has seen her. Jasoom isn’t answering me. I don’t know what to do, but I need to apologize. I need to set things straight. If she never wants to see me again, I’ll go back to Haven and run the Inquisition’s army from there but I have to at least tell her first. ”

“Tell her what?” Morgan’s narrowed eyes softened slightly.

Cullen sighed, roughly running his hand through his hair. “How I feel about her.” He shook his head slightly with a huff of a laugh. “I’d tell you what that is, but she should hear the words before anyone else. If she still wants me to leave, I’ll go willingly. Or, you can kill me and jettison my body into the cold depths of space.”

Morgan grinned then. “You’re sweet on her. More than I thought you were. As long as you know that you still deserved that punch. I’m not even a little sorry about that.”

“You’re completely right,” Cullen agreed, rubbing his sore jaw, “I did deserve that.”

“I saw her going into her room with that cute little elf from the bar. I know you want to talk to her, but give her some time. Let her come to you.” Morgan meant for it to come out as friendly advice, but it was slightly more menacing than that. Regardless of Cullen’s intentions, his aunt was hurting. The aunt he’d come to think of as a sister. “And now you know that I wasn’t fucking around.”

Cullen snorted when he laughed and accepted Morgan's outstretched hand to pull himself back up.. “That was never in doubt, Trevelyan.”

#space trash #jasoom!#jules trevelyan #morgan trevelyan #elbereth #cullen rutherford #totally deserved that punch #pure garbage #lemony as pinesol #cullen x jules #commander cullen #space au #y'all are in for it now #so much smut after this #almost every chapter probably #more rare-pair for bull and cassandra #dorian gonna get some too eventually #i hope i can handle that many relationships #probably one more smutty fluffy chapter after this then back to the hard stuff

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valaruakars · 2 years ago

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Wreathe Me in Darkness, My Earthly Flesh and Blood (1/4)

Viktor/F!Reader || 4.6k || Historical Vampire AU || NSFW || AO3 Link

“On an evening just after the autumn equinox, a fire lit to warm and brighten the study, you shake his cold, bony hand and make the acquaintance of Viktor.” Alternatively: In the early years of your long, long life, you unwittingly fall for a vampire.

Warnings: Stalking mention, jealousy, non-consensual vampirism, so much blood, near death experience, implied murder, teacher/student dynamic, masturbation, vampire spit but make it a mind-numbing aphrodisiac, fingering, dacryphilia if you squint, he’s not evil but he’s not good either, “nausea inducing but in a pussyclenching way” - tumblr user @weltraum-vaquero

Mind! Those! Warnings! Anyways, here’s what I started last week for Halloween and then got too carried away with to keep as a oneshot. Never been known for brevity, sorry. Y’all are gonna have questions, and there will eventually be answers, don’t worry. As always, thanks to the babygirl gang for encouraging me to get fucked up with it for fun 🖤

The year is 1903, you are yet still young, and a small tragedy befalls your household.

One day your hale and healthy tutor is sitting with you in the study, inking corrections onto your arithmetic, though it needs very few. The next, a courier is on the steps of your rowhouse, and you are intercepting a letter from him—no, wait. From his family, actually.

You learn that when you open it. You also learn that he has passed away.

People talk, of course. You listen. And so you come to hear that a man was mauled by an animal in the park across town on that very same night. But it couldn’t be him, right? He was older and did not live in that direction. The letter made it sound so peaceful a departure. You imagined him passing in his sleep. It couldn’t be him.

Out of respect, a week passes and you languish with the literature he left you. Your studies are important and you are lucky to have them, even if they happen at home and not in some great, mahogany lecture hall. That doesn’t stop you from watching out your pretty window as the local boys come and go from the university, your face dark with envy. A week is too long to read and read with no instruction. Who will you discuss The Picture of Dorian Gray with while it remains fresh in your mind? Should you not be honoring his memory by finding a new tutor posthaste?

You bring it up at dinner that night. You get what you want easily. Even better, your new tutor is found quite quickly.

And thus, on an evening just after the autumn equinox, a fire lit to warm and brighten the study, you shake his cold, bony hand and make the acquaintance of Viktor.

Just Viktor.

He’s not very tall, hollow in the face, and walks with a pronounced limp. He cannot be much older than you, but he exudes an intelligence beyond his years. An old soul, the housekeeper said. His eyes are startlingly sharp, so bright a brown you could really call them amber, honey, or high karat gold. Any of those, certainly, but beautiful suits best. They are his most magnetic feature, aside from the weapon that is his voice. He could use it to have you do anything, surely, but he mostly uses it to correct your pronunciation when you study French or to scold you when your mind drifts reading bone dry Tolstoy.

He comes in the dark and leaves in the dark, and after the first time you make him laugh hard enough to see that one of his canines is both crooked and freakishly pointy, you wish he’d stay longer.

He’s familiar, somehow. Night after night you can’t place it. Can’t even tell what exactly is familiar about him. But how could you?

You didn’t know, yet, that he’d been watching you.

It would be a long time before you knew that.

Years.

They pass quickly, in the spring of your life. But the springs and summers themselves pass without Viktor. So much sunlight, and yet they become the darkest part of your year, when he returns to Prague. Frankly, you don’t understand why he ever leaves. It’s beautiful, from the few pictures you’ve seen and the way he’s described it. You wish he’d write, or perhaps send you a small postcard. He never does, that first year he departs and leaves you in the hands of a boring, retired headmaster for those six long months. You check the mail every day and receive nothing but a formal, dispassionate notice that come October he intends to return to his post. No return address.

When he does, it’s as if he never left. He tucks himself up to the old oak table in front of the fireplace, just across from you, and it’s much like opening a bookmarked page. For a moment, lost to excitement, you feel brave enough to ask him personal questions. He does not like personal questions. He considers them a breach of formality between teacher and pupil. But emboldened, you finally ask what prevents him from starting your sessions earlier. Surely your family could afford more of his time? That’s all you want. You enjoy these lessons so.

He smiles. It’s a thin-lipped thing, but always sincere when you earn one. “I spend my days at the University. There is much to be learned here, many advancements in science, that I might take back home and share. I cannot come to you any sooner.”

Your fingers trace the gilt lettering of the book before you. “I like to walk near the school grounds, you know.” The fire is rather warm. You look at it, not at him. “I might wait for you. We might walk together. You might instruct me as we do.”

He laughs at your boldness, but a quiet chuckle. “Unattended? I believe your family would be quite upset.”

“Are we not unattended now?” you counter. And indeed, you are alone with the pocket doors drawn shut to keep out distraction, because Viktor is Viktor and he is no threat to your modesty. So they believe. It’s an utter disservice to him. “You would make a perfectly fit chaperone.”

His hand is cold and soft when it takes yours across the table—takes you by surprise, too. You’re stunned by the warmth of the gesture. “Wait for me here, please,” he asks, and you agree rather bonelessly.

You do not bring it up again. You reach a threshold for bravery you cannot surpass on the very first day of that season. But when the next spring approaches and you grow desperate, you ask if he might write to you. He politely refuses. The spring after that—because once when he looked especially ill, he put his hand on your knee and that certainly meant something, right?—you ask if he might leave a picture for you to pray over for his safe return. You have no higher power to pray to, but he need not know it would go under your pillow or into a locket, in truth. He politely, shyly refuses that too.

The year is suddenly 1908. By the time you’ve spent twenty five years on this earth, and he has come and gone four times, you are properly in love with him. How interesting it is, to love a man you know so little about. But surely, you do.

Which is why it’s a shame that you next turn twenty six and are betrothed by your family to the first man that will take a woman of your age, who is too intelligent for her own good. You’ve grown mouthy, with a thirst for independence that doesn’t befit your station. You’re becoming a burden; have overstayed your welcome in the very home you grew up in. You’ve also sabotaged every courtship attempt you’ve been subjected to in the last few years, one man on your mind, until now the choice has been taken from you. You wanted it back.

More than anything, you wanted Viktor to come back; to fall into his arms and sob; to at least be able to write him a tear stained letter saying this is the last winter you’ll ever spend together. But you had to wait another agonizing month. During it, you found fragile acceptance. This was always to be your fate. Viktor did not want you anyways.

So when he finally shows up to the door on his usual cold, dark evening and the housekeeper escorts him inside, you calmly wait in the study. No tears, no dramatics; just you, standing before the fireplace to greet him. As always, he takes your hand as if to cordially shake it, but something different washes over his face, staring at yours. You didn’t recognize it then, but it was realization. You have one of your own, too, as you stand there and look long at the face of your one-sided friend. Whereas you have matured into your features, his have remained much the same. How jealous he must make people, to age so gracefully. Where did he hide his picture, your Dorian Gray?

You invite him to sit and get off his feet—to settle into your usual places. And to follow the formula, you ask the same meaningless question you do each and every year: “I trust you had a pleasant journey?”

He’s supposed to say yes and promptly move on.

But instead he asks in a tone you’ve never, ever heard before: “What is that?” He’s looking at your hand. He sounds livid, and he’s looking at your hand. The stone perched in platinum upon your finger sparkles faintly in the low light, and you snatch your hand into your lap with a sigh. Suddenly, you do want to cry.

“As of a month ago, I find myself engaged,” you tell him like it’s a dull, passionless fact. Of course, you can’t bring yourself to look at him when you say it.

“…To be married?”

Your laugh is a humorless thing. “Of course, what else could I mean?” Then it occurs to you: “Why is it that you may ask me personal questions, but I may not ask you the same?”

“That is irrelevant,” he snaps, brute forcing the conversation to his strange ends. He reaches forward across the table to take your chin in his hand; to make you look at him. His hand is cold. Always so cold. His voice is softer this time; his thumb strokes across your cheek before he lets go. “Is this what you want?”

Nobody had asked you that. You shake your head no with such vigor that you can feel your hairpins shift against your scalp, fisting your dress white knuckled, but that can’t stop the truth now. “I want my freedom. I want control. I want…” You, but the way he’s looking at you steals that word away.

Who is this dark and wrathful and determined person sitting across from you? The one who says, “I will make it so,” like a promise, as though he has any bearing on the situation?

“How?” you whisper as conspiracy blooms thick in the space between you. “What could you do to prevent this?”

He snatches up his cane and gets to his feet, so resolute that he’s willing to abandon the session when he has never once before. “Give me time.”

And then he is gone.

—-

You expect to wait, naturally. You’ve had years of practice waiting for him, though it’s different this time. You suddenly can’t predict what will happen; there is no formula to follow. But you’re almost certain, now…

He wants you too.

You dress for bed that night, crawl between the blankets, and spread your legs as if for him. You’ve done it many times. It’s all you’ve ever known. You’re quickly wet enough to slip in two fingers, to fuck yourself on them until you’re panting softly and whispering his name into the darkness. This house is old and solid; you have the only bedroom on the main floor. Nobody will hear.

But there’s footsteps in the hallway. You pause for them to pass, though who would walk this floor at so late an hour? It’s very late, indeed. Only at the last second do you realize that they’re not normal; they’re odd little clusters of three. Why is that familiar?

You withdraw your hand when the sound stops in front of your door. Something is wrong. A chill sweeps your body, and it slowly dawns on you that you are well and truly scared. Terrified as you lie paralyzed and watch the doorknob turn.

But before you see anything, there comes a voice from the shadows. It says, just a whisper: “It’s me. Please do not scream.”

You’d know that accent anywhere. And it’s true, as it has always been true, that Viktor’s voice could get you to do anything. You do not scream, though something deep and primally terrified of the dark says that you should. You simply sit up in bed and beckon him closer in a hurry. It’s not lost on you that he locks the door before he comes to sit on the edge, tenderly taking your bewildered face in his hands. Cold, cold, cold.

“How did you…?”

He shushes you softly and shakes his head. “Tell me again.”

Your lips part, confused, as you study his face so close to yours.

“Tell me again,” he repeats, “why you wish not to be married. The whole of it, please.”

You cannot deny him. It spills from you. “I want my freedom, truly. I have never wanted to be bound to someone else that way, and to be subject to the expectations that come with it. I was never made to be an obedient, maternal homemaker. My greatest love has been learning… with you, Viktor. We hardly spend much time together, and yet it means everything to me.”

For five years—sometimes long, sometimes short—have you wanted his attention like this. If you weren’t already so wet, you would be, with his languid, honeyed stare ticking back and forth from your eyes to your lips. He wets his own and whispers, “Go on.”

“You must know by now that I want you.” He is in your room, on your bed in the middle of the night and you did not scream, after all. It’s why you are suddenly emboldened to finally, finally look him in the eye. To take hold of his bony wrist where it yet cradles your face, stroking the back of his hand with your thumb sweet and slow. To confess: “I’ve loved you for years.”

”Oh, miláčku.…” he murmurs. His breath is faintly metallic, and the little hairs on the back of your neck stand up. But why? It’s only Viktor. “You have yet to learn what love is. You have yet to learn what it is to love me. But I will show you, if that is what you wish.”

”I do,” you agree all too quickly, so scared of losing what you have only just gained. “Of course I do.”

It’s all the invitation he needs to kiss you. It’s everything you’ve ever wanted. All that you’ve ever imagined, those slow, tentative, innocent little presses of your lips to his, quiet beneath the crackle of the dying fire. It’s only when your hand fists into his coat, pulling him in for more that the hunger starts to change—to build. You feel it keenly between your legs, a rhythmic throbbing that syncs up to your heart.

It worsens, deliciously, when he slips off his shoes and crawls into bed with you properly. When his kisses turn open-mouthed, and his tongue brushes past your lips. You find the taste of his mouth faintly metallic too and figure: Oh well. If you’re kissing a man with consumption, it’s far too late already. You cannot bring yourself to care about that or much else, the more he licks into your mouth and swallows down your soft, shameless whines. Your head swims thick with only thoughts of how good he makes you feel. When you reach for others—wait, did he ever say he loved you back?—they simply melt away.

You do not protest when his fingers pluck at the neckline of your shift. You do not feel a single shred of shyness when he pulls away to expose the swell of your chest and admire it. You are nothing but agreeable. Your limbs feel heavy. With great effort, you reach for his tie; fair is fair, and of course you want to see every inch of his body too. But he catches up your brash little hand quicker than you can blink.

The hand that holds you is gentle; the lips that lavish your skin are urgent. He kisses the pulse point of your wrist, drags his tongue over it so languidly—nothing short of worshipful. Your heart only beats faster, fluttering just there beneath your skin and his lips. His eyes fall closed in reverence, and he groans like he can sense his effect on you—sweet, low and needy. You are his echo, of course. You need more, and thus your left hand drags itself up your stomach to grasp and roll the stiff little bud of your nipple.

That is the first thing he notices when he opens his eyes, dark and blown, an amber eclipse. The second is the ring you’re still wearing.

“Remove it,” he hisses, and you don’t need to be told twice. You’d pitch it across the room if he hadn’t snatched and shoved it into his breast pocket first. For safekeeping, of course. He’s going to get you a better one, right? He said he was going to help.

Later, your mind whispers before the fog rolls back in. There is nothing to worry about, with Viktor. You are safe. You are wanted. Are you loved?

Your head lolls, heavy on your neck. Your skin tingles pleasantly everywhere he’s kissed it. “I want you to touch me,” you murmur, because he’s yet neglected where you need him most.

He shuffles you back into the bank of downy pillows against the headboard. His hand is on your thigh, hiking up your pretty white nightgown, and you part your legs for him eagerly. He looks perfect, crouched between them. “I have been touching you, moje lahůdka,” he huffs, bemused.

You pull it up higher still until it’s in a gossamer bunch above your hips. You want him to witness you swollen and glistening wet for him; to see the mess he makes of you untouched. “Here.”

His low, appreciative hum is resonant. He’s not truly interested in toying with you; does not hesitate to indulge in his wants or your own.

It’s better than you ever imagined, when his hand cups between your legs and the heel of his palm rubs your sweetest spot; when his fingers slide down the seam of you; when they catch the dip of your wet little cunt and press in sinfully slow. He watches, spellbound, as you writhe for friction and take two of his fingers to the hilt. That’s all he can stand before he swears beneath his breath, dragging you back against his mouth with a hand tangled in your hair. It’s a sloppy, inelegant kiss—perfectly debauched, the way he pants against your lips. He’s making you feel so, so good.

He deserves to feel good too, doesn’t he?

You reach down to palm the outline of his cock through those dark, woolen trousers. It punches a breath out of him, that gentle caress. His head drops to your shoulder, and your other hand fights gravity to stroke the soft, lovely hair at the nape of his neck; to soothe and encourage and hold fast to him. You seal your fate.

Viktor positively trembles, perhaps from the exertion of dragging his fingers in and out of you, as he kisses your neck tentatively. Licks your neck, a little more confidently. Scrapes his teeth against your neck, boldly. It feels divine, and you’re shaking too. The urge to scream rises in you again. You’re close to breaking, after all. You’re very, very close. That is nothing to be frightened of.

“Do you want this?” he whispers, his voice stripped raw. His lips wander lower and lower, trailing wet, open-mouthed kisses down your collarbone to the top of your breast. “Do you want me? Only me?”

And what can you say but, “Yes,” and, “Always,” as you beg him to make you cum?

The feeling is rapturous when he does, like white hot pleasure pulsing thick through every nerve, every vein. So transcendent it’s almost painful. Your eyes white out. You screw them shut against the explosion of sensation anyways, bright and all consuming. It’s like nothing you’ve ever felt before from your own fingers, and it catches fire in your chest too—right where his lips are lavishing your breast. You writhe through it, nuzzling into his hair as you soundlessly sob and soak his fingers to the cadence of his soft, wet moans against your skin. Those quiet noises are so sweet.

Such a shame, that your heartbeat is starting to drown him out. Slower and slower, it thumps in your ears. You’re coming down already, aren’t you?

Something smells metallic again. Really, very metallic.

It still feels so good, though, like embers of pleasured bliss burning low in your body; like drifting asleep in the bath. It still feels good, even when he takes his hand from between your legs and grips your waist hard. His hand is warm and wet. Finally, you made him feel warm.

And you? Oh… You feel warm and wet too. Down the front of your body: Warm and wet and slick with your nightgown clinging to your skin like you sweated it through. From the intensity, you must’ve.

But it’s okay. Viktor won’t mind. Viktor, who is so very good to you; who cares for you so well. Sweet, shy, brilliant Viktor, you love him very much. You think of him always, even now. You stroke his dark, lovely hair. Or well… You try to. You can’t feel it—not his hair nor your fingers nor your hand. Your arm slips from his shoulders and drops, leaden, to the bed.

Lead. Metal. Copper.

You smell blood.

Fighting sleep’s embrace, there’s just enough willpower left in you to open your eyes. Your lashes are damp like you’ve started to cry. Have you? Feeling is fleeting, but Viktor is cradling your head. His touch is kind, his thumb sweeping soothing arcs against the top of your spinal cord. You can’t lift it, your head. You can hardly think. But you can see, for there is an old standing mirror where often you preened for your studious evenings together, or picked yourself apart for the features you imagined he didn’t care for. Though your vision swims, you are reflected in it as you always are.

Just you, alone in that mirror, hovering slack and painted red.

Viktor has no reflection.

One last desperate adrenaline spike has your head lolling forward. What you could feel and smell is all confirmed. Your eyes did not deceive you. Blood is seeping down your body from perfect little bite marks punctured into your breast, staining the white of your nightgown deepest, deathly crimson. And then there is Viktor—such a tender monster—cradling your limp body, deeply focused on drinking you down.

You are bleeding out into the hungry maw of a vampire you so erringly loved.

Yes, vampire. It’s not a dream—you can tell. In the end, the only dream was that a predator might care for its prey. And it is the end. You are dying.

You do not want to die.

A scream well and truly rises in your throat now. Viktor feels it coming first and claps a bloody hand over your mouth. With slow, syrupy grace, he unlatches his teeth and rises from your lacerated breast, blood smeared and congealed around lips that’d kissed you so gently minutes ago. He does not wipe his mouth. “I did ask you not to scream,” he chides, leaning in to kiss away the tear slipping down your waxen cheek. Then another, and another, until your face is smeared red too and he’s laying your rag doll body back against the pillows. “You have nothing to fear from me. I would never truly hurt you.” He releases your mouth when you slacken fully, stroking back your hair. “Did it not feel good? I tried to make it feel good.”

You nod weakly. Your vision is rimmed in black.

He smiles. It’s that precious smile you remember from when he’s rather pleased with himself. You cannot see his teeth. “Come, let us fix this,” he says as your eyes slip closed. Then, urgently, he calls your name.

You’re distantly aware of something cold and seeping wet pressed to your lips; that he’s prying your mouth open and urging you to, “Drink. Please, please drink—you must,” in a voice far too scared to belong to a monster. Something truly putrid drips against your tongue, slips down the back of your throat. It burns like dry ice, and yet you frantically swallow it down. It’s vile, his blood, for that is surely what it is, and yet you crave more. More, more, more until your body wakes up, and you’re clutching his arm to your mouth because even if you’re not sure you want to be this—what he’s making you—it’s preferable to death. You want to live.

You drink deep from him, gulping and messy like it’s water and you’re parched, until he has to rip his arm from your clawing, iron grasp. The trance is broken, then. You’re promptly scrabbling back against the headboard, far away as you can get, breathing hard with burning lungs. It’s not reassuring that the way he’s staring at you is a reflection of your own face: Utterly horrified.

“What have you done?” you ask desperately, clutching at your naked chest. Your heart still beats scared and sure beneath your hands, somehow.

He calms and considers for a moment. “I have acted in accordance with your wishes,” he says slowly, as if he genuinely believes that to be true. “The freedom to be with me is now yours. You will be as I am.”

The audacity. To think you care about that, in this moment, after everything that has just transpired. Freedom, at what cost?

Your voice cuts a hysterical edge. “That was it? Was it really so simple to turn me?” In no significant way did you feel different, yet. Your body is warm, your heart still beats, and your teeth are normal when you touch them. You are not ready to believe that you will change.

He looks quite apologetic to tell you: “The painful part will follow, I’m afraid. Your body has not died yet.”

The tears come flowing unbidden, though you feel completely numb. They are normal too.

“You have a choice,” he tells you, scooting closer. You wipe the amalgamation of blood, snot and tears from your face and take his hand, for at the end of your human life, you were still needy. Indeed, he doesn’t care that you’re filthy; he kisses that hand all the same. You’ve been through a harrowing night, the two of you. And you will go through much, much more.

“You may either choose to stay and let the transformation run its course. Your family may watch you die, and ideally put you in the ground before they see you change. Or...” His hand tightens around yours. He has a preference. “You may gather your things and leave a note. Say that you have run away. With me, preferably; I would like them to know. Leave with me tonight, and I will do what I can to ease the suffering.”

That choice is how you end up on your knees, stoking the fire back to life in your bedside hearth. You cannot stay. Viktor feeds the flames your soiled, bloody linens in torn up shreds while you stuff a trunk with your favorite things. Everything burns but the nightgown you wore—he insists on keeping it as a token. A new one, but you don’t have the presence of mind to catch that implication. All you can manage is putting yourself back together and penning a note several times over until your script is clean and free of tremors; a note for which you will feel eternally guilty. Viktor approves, though.

You mention him.

#viktor arcane #arcane viktor #viktor x reader #mdni #reader insert #my writing #i love it when he sucks (pun intended)

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notebooks-and-laptops · 3 years ago

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Merrill on Solas’s side: my one fear given nuance

Okay, so, I want to build off the post I made a while ago about my fear of Merrill being on Solas’s side in DA4. Because my feelings about it are mostly NO THANK YOU but also there’s some nuance and hey, I work best through my character feels out loud. So let’s talk about it. I’m gonna put most of this under a cut because oh boy it got a bit long actually.

Because the thing is...it could be good, actually. There’s a very, very specific version of this idea in my head that could be good. Why would it be good? Well. Because Dragon Age hasn’t really had any sympathetic villains yet. And I get that solas is supposed to be our sympathetic villain and if that works for you great! but for me, he wasn’t established well enough as friend before he became enemy. He’s just the weird racist guy who gave me a castle and now wants to fix his mistake by...making the exact same mistake all over again. And while he does have individual moments of banter with the DAI crew that are very fun, he doesn’t actually show up to any of the bonding scenes (wicked grace night for example) nor does he have any cut scenes that develop a particular relationship between him and say...Dorian, who’s also hanging out in the library.

But Merrill? Merrill has friends. True, proper, established friends. She’s lovable. She loved. Varric, Carver and Isabela in particular, but Bethany, Fenris, Anders, Aveline, Sebastian - they all had positive interactions with her regardless of how they viewed her magic. And she certainly cared about them.

And Merrill’s characterisation could be simplified down to ‘restoring the old ways’ and ‘protecting her people’. In Dai in particular, we hear that she has turned her attention to city elves getting caught in the templar/mage conflict crossfire - her ‘people’ are expanding from the dalish to all elves, and her cause is expanding from ‘history’ to ‘rights’. To the present. To fixing things. So, she still likes the old ways and wants to restore them, and she sees the systematic abuse elves suffer clearer than any other companion in game (apart from maybe Fenris, though Fenris makes comments rather than actionably trying to fix whats going on).

So Solas comes to Merrill, an incredibly talented mage and historian, who basically rebuilt her own eluvian from scratch, and recruits her. And Merrill goes with him because she can restore the old ways, and protect her people who’s treatment is getting steadily worse and worse (masked empire, but I also imagine by da4 we’ll see that Solas’s prophecy of ‘they’ll blame the elves’ for the dai events will be coming true - especially with them disappearing) - and perhaps the only way she can see it getting better is a complete revolution where the current order is completely overthrown (she had some role models there, after all). And she becomes your sympathetic villain because not only is she doing it for all the right reasons (not for elves long dead, but for elves now) but also because...can you imagine Varric and her seeing one another on opposite sides of a battle? His daisy who wandered into gardens she wasn’t supposed to? Or Isabela? Can you imagine the internal struggle that would play out in Merrill’s mind. She’s a keeper - it’s her job to remember. But does remembering truly equal restoring? Would she convince herself that the collapse of the veil would actually be good for everyone? Would we have scenes where she tries to beg Varric to listen to her? Where she tries to get Fenris to? Hawke? The new protagonist?

Merrill is kind. Being in that position would tear her apart, and I think it would tear her apart in incredibly interesting ways.

I also think she’d be a great final act betrayal for Solas. Because she’s clever, so clever, and I think eventually, she’d realise that what Solas was trying to do was probably going to destroy a lot of elves too, let alone humans. And I think she could be a great dagger in the back for Solas, and a great friend for us in the final part of the game if we chose to let her work with us (maybe similar to Loghain? To get her we have to lose a current companion or something?).

BUT there’s also a lot of worry. All of this, if done, would have to be done with such nuance and tact that I’m not entirely sure they can devote to a secondary character who wouldn’t be around the protagonist much. Like, it couldn’t be like Calpernia, it would have to really show an intense internal Merrill struggle to make me enjoy it and to not, ya know, massacre my favourite character in the entire franchise. Also, its impact would be very tied to how many da2 characters are going to be present. There’s literally no point in doing this if Merrill isn’t going to actually be on the opposite side to her friends, if Varric isn’t going to have an absolute break down about his Daisy, if the new protagonist isn’t going to have the perfect moment to kill her and her weapon is knocked out of her hand by Isabela.

And also...Merrill is our ‘good’ blood mage. I deeply, deeply don’t want that to change. Merrill shows a nuance to magic, shows a perspective that is alien to the chantry in a very sympathetic light. And I think it would be too easy to demonise her. Or like...have what Fenris said about her ‘justifying her need for power’ by killing innocents for their blood come true. Which, I think Merrill as our resident sympathetic blood mage needs to stay away from that - she can’t be the person to sacrifice innocents for magic because a) she cares too much and b) then we have no blood mage left in bioware cannon for us to like - we just have confirmed chantry propaganda about why they’re bad.

And also...I just don’t trust bioware to do it right. Like. I think Merrill cast as bad-guy-on-Solas’s-side would too quickly become someone obsessed with the old order, someone close to Solas. And honestly? Merrill would kick Solas’s ass if she’d been in dai. Like. Solas is incredibly disrespectful to elves! All the time! To the dalish! I couldn’t see Merrill being friends with him at all. She’d find him interesting for about 3 seconds, and then he’d go and say something racist, or something mighter-than-thou and it would totally rub her the wrong way. I think Solas would remind her so much of her Keeper and their circular arguments and the fact that she never listened to Merrill. Which again, could be an interesting dyanamic, but I’m not sure it would have room to breathe that it needed in a video game format. Merrill could reveal how Solas doesn’t actually care about elves, but only about the ghosts of the old elves, and she could do that by being on his side or ours, but the temptation in the writers room to make her Solas’s second in command in an uncomplicated way I think would be pretty high.

Idk. Like. I think it could be good. I would read a fanfiction with this premise that was Merrill centric and explored all these interesting things. But there’s just so many ways it could go horribly wrong that I just. It is my deepest fear for da4. Because I could handle them butching quite a few of the characters, but Merrill is so important to me if they did it wrong I’d be so fucking sad I’d probably struggle to play the game much.

#merrill #da2 #da4 #dragon age #dragon age 2 #solas #dragon age inquisition #dai

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