#doofus the bozo ever | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

heavenbarnes · 10 months ago

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Omg omg were her like unexpected scary dog privilege gf and buy a big softie like a rottweiler (idk why I'm mentioning a type of dog breed I am a nerd and work with dogs so I thought of them of how scary they seem but they're not) and what about how you're not like that with anyone else but sugar brings out a different side to you that no one has ever seen, but ur such a simp for her and Richie makes fun of it but shuts up when sugar calls him out and he does that 😑 face and walks away. Carmy tries to shout at you sometimes and Sugar randomly pops up and has a hand on her hips and is like "bear, no." In a stern tone that no one wants to hear from her. Syd sometimes joking makes a comment of how you such a simp for her (maybe everyone is stressed and just going at each other) and u shrug, not really too hurt by her comment as it's true and sugar pops up and is like "Syd."

She's always there 🥺 (Pete is lovely but I'm taking ur girl) and in this au she's ours.

having an unmistakable crush on sugar from the moment you start at the restaurant and she knows about and uses it to her full advantage!

being her scary-dog-privilege (i’m projecting) going out with her when she needs to do pick ups and standing over her shoulder with a scowl to make sure nobody tries to fleece her!

you’re friendly with everyone in the kitchen but not a pushover, unless it’s sugar and then whatever that woman asks of you she’s getting!

richie getting on your nerves about “simping” (you want to kill whoever taught him that word) for sugar and being such a “simp” and sugar shuts it down because only she gets to tease you like that!

but when syd jokes that you’re a total simp for sugar you deny it once until you hear her calling your name and you’re turning on a dime in the direction of her voice. syd shakes her head but you’re shrugging because- what’s the use in denying it!

sugar coming into the kitchen and not realising everyone is highly strung, getting snapped at for no reason by her brother or maybe richie and immediately scary-dog is back on. you’re walking her to carmy’s office before coming back and threatening to have their heads for speaking to her like that!

when you go with her for pickups, maybe she needed to pick up furniture? and she asked if you’d come too? so now you’re following her around the store with something heavy across your shoulders so she doesn’t have to lift a finger!

losing sugar in the store when you went back to grab her something and by the time you find her again, she’s being chat up by some bozo. newsflash asshole, she’s only got room for one idiot in her life and you’re looking at them! so you pull your usual routine of manifesting over her shoulder and when she realises you’re there she gives a nice “thank you, sweetheart!” before completely forgetting about that doofus!

finding her in her car outside the restaurant, teary-eyed and you’re knocking on the window telling her to scooch over. you drive her home without a second thought and after you walk her inside you hear her quietly ask if she can tell you about her shitty day!

being sugar’s loser-husband type person and being so totally pussy-whipped for her and entirely okay with that because- look at her!

#im definitely projecting because im a head and shoulders taller than most women and naturally become scary dog privilege #but you can be small than shug and still hold the mantle it’s about character #i just need to be her stupid loser husband wife #natalie berzatto x reader #natalie berzatto blurb #natalie berzatto drabble #sugar berzatto x reader #sugar berzatto blurb #sugar berzatto drabble

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weirdmarioenemies · 5 years ago

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Name: Doogan

Debut: Paper Mario

Hmm. I don’t like it.

I’m sorry to any Doogan fans, but I am not a fan of this creature! All signs point to them being dogs, if anything, but this is no dog ever seen. This is, like, a Yoshi with a fake dog nose. The dog this most closely resembles is Brian Griffin, and that is not a compliment at all!

The first Doogans seen are Rowf and his son Rhuff in Paper Mario, which I find incredibly bizarre. They’re the only ones in the game! They could have easily been Toads, but instead they’re these strange dog people we’ve never seen before. Even knowing what he is, this sprite looks off. This doesn’t register as brown to me, it looks like a weird Koopa Troopa who’s in the shade.

And then there’s Dupree, and... this one’s just a doofus! A real bozo! I don’t feel bad about being harsher to him, since he’s a creep who flirts with every woman he sees and appears to stalk Goombella over the course of the game. I should be even harsher! I should call him a chump. Hey, Dupree! Or should I say, Doodoo-Pee! You’re a chump!

In conclusion, these dog men baffle me. Come to think of it, though, the name of their species is sort of familiar...

#doogan #rowf #rhuff #dupree #Paper Mario: The Thousand Year Door #mario #mario allies #mod chikako

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rocket-roach · 6 years ago

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you know I want Dickie and B and you know I want that good hurt with a side of comfort SO how about something to do with a motor vehicle accident?

gorl welcome in this house we love serving heaping plates of HURT and following it up with heaping plates of COMFORT

The thing was, Bruce knew giving a fourteen-year-oldvigilante a motorcycle was just asking for disaster. He was aware of the risksinvolved and had researched the mortality rate of motorcycle driversextensively. But ever since Dick had gotten the bike, he’d been damn good.Tonight, they were busting up an illegal street racing ring, where the losersof said races were tied to the front of the winner’s cars, and in the words ofRobin, went splat.

So tonight, Batman and Robin weregoing to crash a street race in the Batmobile and on a Robincycle. Batmanpeeled out of the cave first, trying to pretend like the smile made out ofpure, unadulterated glee wasn’t warming his heart. He nudged the car up toeighty miles an hour. Dick kept pace easily, weaving seamlessly through thetraffic, hot on his car’s heels. Bruce took a right into the Iron district.

During the industrial revolution,the Iron District had been a hub of production. Massive factories sprung upovernight, partnered with warehouses to hold everything they were created. Butlike the rust belt of the United States, once production moved to third worldcountries, the entire area collapsed. What was once seen a proud display ofwealth, now housed squatters, amateur race car drivers, gangs, and drugs thecops didn’t even know about yet.

It nearly gave Crime Alley a runfor its money.

Batman turned on his comm.

“Robin. I’m going to wait at theend of the track. You know what to do?”

“That was fun, bats!” he chirped.“I wanna chase the Batmobile more often. But yeah, gonna let these bozos startthe race, and then I’ll come out behind them and chase them right into you soyou can serve then a nice cold cup of justice.”

“If everything goes well tonight,I’ll race you back to the cave.”

“Promise?”

“Promise. Now get into position,partner. Radio silence.”

He waited until he heard the beepof Robin turning off his comm. Batmanflipped on the engine muffling he’d recently added to the car. He typed in thecode for additional shielding, hearing the metal guards lock into place. Thenhe waited.

He heard the shouts of theonlookers before he heard the car engines kick over. Metallic roars echoedthrough the broken glass and falling brick buildings that surrounded them.Batman took one deep calming breath. Then; the nasally snarl of Robin’s bikejoined into the automobile symphony. He turns his head to the right, seeing thecars no longer racing each other, but desperately trying to throw off the bird.

Then both vehicles braked hard. They spun into each other, the inertiafrom both destroying the front bumpers and hoods.

They braked so suddenly that Robinwas unable to stop himself.

“NO!” Batman shouted as the backtire lifted into the air, the front slammed into the two cars.

Robin flew from his bike, his bodyhitting the pavement with a sickening thwap,and then bouncing and rolling. Batman was already leaping out of the car,charging to his protégé’s unmoving body.

“Robincycle, self-destruct,” heonly managed to shout.

The cycle exploded as Batmanreached Robin. The Boy Wonder’s arm was broken, the stomach turning sight ofhis bone poking through his skin. His face was already swelling, and the bitsof his skin that were covered with his Robin costume were raw from road rash.Robin’s breaths were short and desperate, and his eyes were closed. He gentlypicked up his boy, rushing him back to the car. Batman kicked a lever on thepassenger’s side, and the passenger seat slid down into a stretcher. Batmanplaced Robin there, carefully strapping the kid in for the ride back.

“Al,” He spoke as they raced fromthe accident scene. “Get the med bay ready.”

Alfred worked for hours. Stitcheswere sewn. Road rash was treated. Leslie came over to help put Dick’s arm backtogether and into a sling. Before Leslie left, she took one look at Dick’s headand said one thing.

“If he hadn’t been wearing hishelmet, I’d be working on a corpse right now.”

Bruce quietly excused himself to govomit in the bathroom.

Once everything had been cleanedup, Alfred went to bed. He left a plate of chocolate chip cookies for the boy,and a sandwich for Bruce. Bruce didn’t touch the sandwich. He pulled a chair toDick’s bedside, taking his son’s hand in his larger one. He watched him untilexhaustion pulled him into the arms of Morpheus.

Dick’s whimpers woke him up. Thekid was under enough anesthesia to knock out an elephant, and somehow he waswaking up. Bruce squeezed his hand.

“I’m right here, chum,” Hemurmured. “You can go back to sleep, we’re home. You need your rest.”

“Everything hurts,” Dick rasped.“What happened?”

“Don’t speak, Dick,” Bruce scoldedas he leaned up to brush some of Dick’s hair off his brow. “You did everythingyou were supposed to. We just didn’t count on the drivers to be idiots whobrake at sixty miles an hour. They crashed into each other, and there wasn’tenough time for you to react. It wouldn’t have been enough for me. Your bike hit the cars, and you wereflung off. I brought you back here immediately. Al and Leslie stabilized you.”

Dick watched as Bruce continued tofuss over him. He hissed as he sat up.

“What- Dick! Stop moving. You werereally injured tonight and this is only -- What are you doing?”

He wrapped his uninjured arm aroundBruce, pulling his guardian closer. “It’s called a hug, you doofus. It’s howhumans show affection to each other.”

The billionaire didn’t move for amoment. Then, he curled his own arms around his son and pulled him close.

“I could have lost you tonight,” Hewhispered into Dick’s hair. “I knew that bike was dangerous.”

“But you saved me, Bruce,” his sonsaid. “Thank you for always saving me.”

#bruce wayne #renecdote #batman #dick grayson #robin #hurt/comfort #hurt #comfort #graphic accidents

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