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askdannysroleswapau · 9 months ago

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"proof of concept" design for Voidball + some pupil designs from '22 (back when he still had a tail)

quite a lot has changed! a few key design details have carried over from this one (chipped ear, singular eye, and the heart-shaped hole in the torso), but many aspects have since been scrapped or reworked

design notes under the cut! but be warned! its just a little under 1k words

before we begin, there's this phrase that i'm going to be using a lot and you ought to know what i mean by it!

the phrase is "design philosophy" and in simplified terms, its a set of rules or principals one follows when designing a character. there's a ton of different design philosophies and they vary wildly depending on the medium, the team behind it, the art style, tone and even country of origin!

the one i used for Voidball is a mix of my own observation/analysis of Rob's character design and some principals that the team of Across The Spiderverse used for The Spot. here are the rules i eventually settled on!

remove as much recognizability as possible from the character's appearance, save for their physical stature and select features (eye/mouth/hair/ears/etc.) the end result should be almost entirely unrecognizable

details such as textures, markings, or accessories must either be done away with or heavily simplified

use sharp angles wherever possible, rounded shapes must be sparse (can you tell which part i gave myself more leeway on lol)

do not clutter the design or over-complicate it; principal of Occam's razor

now, let’s get started!!

Head and Ears

i set out with the intention to give him a similarly complicated head shape to Rob, but i quickly dropped this idea because i hate drawing complex geometry! the slice taken out of the head, however, ended up sticking around! you can see some examples of what was dubbed the "sliced melon" head in the doodle dump post.

you can see that the ears have stayed about the same, although i now avoid drawing them with super defined geometry. out of all of the details carried over from this design, the chipped ear is my favorite :)

Eyes

those pesky eyes! i wanted to keep the singular eye, but at first i was unsure of what to replace it with. you can see here that i initially replaced it with an isolated box of static. this looks bad and is not visually appealing!

as i began to imagine static functioning as more of a viscous, liquid substance, i decided to cover the left side of his face with a constantly dripping river of it, obscuring the eye completely. this is both easier to draw and more visually interesting! plus it removes recognizably, which was very important to the design philosophy.

as for the right eye, the pupil shape depicted here has two sharp triangle indents in it.

while it was an interesting idea, it looked too similar to the eyes you see on rubber-hose animated characters, which wasn’t what i wanted. the other three ideas i sketched had similar ideas regarding negative space, but all of them would eventually be scrapped.

as it turns out, the original pupil shape works for a reason! i learned there that going against the original philosophy would not end up working in my favor. i went on to pull many future design elements directly from Rob's design, such as the doubled pupil!

Upper Body

his left hand was originally disconnected/fragmented from his arm/wrist. while cool in concept, this was eventually dropped because it was too difficult to draw consistently. oh well!

his torso/waist were originally more cylinder/sphere-shaped to contrast how Rob's design is made of squares/polygons. again, i have since decided to follow the original philosophy instead of going against it.

my favorite design detail for the torso is the heart-shaped hole in their chest! it is by far my favorite thing to draw :3c

Lower Body

you can see that their waist was more of an elliptical shape here; the legs were also cylinders devoid of much static and largely maintained their patterns.

also notable are the missing portions of the legs. the right leg prominently features a jagged empty space below the knee and a missing section near the hip. this aspect was dropped to simplify the design and remove recognizability

not so much as a note as it is a funny tidbit, but the feet aren't meant to look as if they've been attached at the heel. i just drew the legs before the feet and didn't bother erasing the overlapping lines.

this design wasn't meant to be super solid or well-thought out, i just needed to get the general idea down on paper, and that's what i did! :)

Tail!

ah, the static tail! the visual style of the tail was meant to hearken back to the scan lines you see on old VHS tapes.

as cool as this idea was, it conflicted with him needing to have gained a pig tail in The Future, which i consider to be crucial to the story progression. hah! i love getting to write stuff like that.

having a tail also made him more closely resemble Gumball, which conflicted with rule #1 of the design philosophy. on top of that, i had already used the static tail idea in The Sister, and i felt like recycling it for another character would cheapen the impact of that moment.

and so i revoked his tail privileges. a tragic, yet necessary sacrifice 😔

and with that the notes are done! i don’t know if anybody will actually read this, but i sure did enjoy writing it!

#this is really more like concept art than a proof of concept but its too late to change that now lol #while i was working on this i actually stumbled across a second draft of this design from around the same time (august 24th to be exact)#but this post was already long enough #so i'm saving that for another time #long post #the amazing world of gumball #tawog #danny's roleswap au #drsau #voidball #voidball drsau

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tauforged · 2 years ago

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YOU WENT TO ART SCHOOL? I thought you were self taught damn. Impart some wisdom on us sire

i have a whopping semester and a half at LUCAD under my belt yeah but in all fairness i spent the entire time holed up in my dorm room playing warframe and having mental breakdowns instead of actually paying much attention or doing my assignments. it’s really not all it’s cracked up to be tbh, there’s no secret ~insider knowledge~ that you get at art school TM and nowhere else. the only thing i retained was a few very basic composition tips (avoid tangents, pay attention to where the eye is drawn, utilize color and light to guide the viewer through the piece). the only thing i regret was not sticking around long enough to do any life drawing courses because my human anatomy is still pretty wonky. most of the stuff i learned i could’ve looked up online for free and probably would’ve understood better that way. it’s whatever, really.

you wanna know my wisdom? use references whenever you might need them, tracing isn’t evil and can help figure out where the moving parts go on complicated objects (just don’t outright trace other peoples art and claim it ofc, but tracing a stock photo for a pose or something is not punishable by death) and get sillay with it. play with mediums and styles and methods. don’t focus on making ‘good’ art, just have fun with it. once you figure out what works for you it’ll start to fall into place. draw with as loose a hand as you’re comfortable with (i ahve tremors so i get how it’s hard, but try to move with your shoulder and elbow as opposed to putting all your tension on your wrist) and stretch often. take breaks and come back to pieces with fresh eyes when you’re starting to get frustrated. don’t be afraid to ask for critique or advice. play with color and light and shadow. allow yourself to take inspiration from artists you admire, be it style or technique. let yourself make mistakes and don’t strive for perfection. don’t be afraid to take shortcuts that make your life easier (i spent years manually coloring everything i drew because i felt like the full tool and mask layers were ‘cheating’ somehow. it literally does not matter. do whatever you want). make bad art. make silly art. doodle in the margins of notes and the backs of receipts. art is subjective and you can do whatever you want forever

also, don’t feel like you NEED go to art school to be an artist. i was only there for a semester and a half *on scholarship* before i realized i had no desire to get a degree and it still took me like five years to pay that shit off. you’re in no way obligated to drown yourself in debt for a piece of paper. also, acting like someone suddenly becomes an authority on art just because they went to art school is weird lol. schooling has no bearing on skill because skill is subjective and art is whatever you make of it. be free

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aroace-number-eight · 1 year ago

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Fuck it, answering them all because I really want to

1. Art programs you have but don't use

I have Pencil2D which I should use but never bothered to learn

2. Is it easier to draw someone facing left or right (or forward even)

I can draw any of the above, but facing left has been my default

3. What ideas come from when you were little

I was really obsessed with Shyguys

4. Fav character/subject that's a bitch to draw

Characters interacting SUCKS but I love drawing it and want to immediately be better at it please and thank you

5. Estimate of how much of your art you post online vs. the art you keep for yourself

I used to post nearly everything that I drew online. Only recently did I start keeping art for myself. So I'd say 80% of my work is out there

6. Anything that might inspire you subconsciously (i.e. this horse wasn't supposed to look like the Last Unicorn but I see it)

If I had to guess it'd probably be Danganronpa, though truthfully I can't imagine what subconsciously inspired me

7. A medium of art you don't work in but appreciate

I really enjoy pancake art! It's one of my favorites

8. What's an old project idea that you've lost interest in

I wanted to do a FoT Five versus Nine animatic to the song "You're Gonna Go Far Kid" by The Offspring. It was already too complicated for me and it's been 6 years since so I dropped it

9. What are your file name conventions

I name based on what the drawing is supposed to be, so in case I forget what I'm drawing, I have the file name reminding me what it is (they can get very long and descriptive)

10. Favorite piece of clothing to draw

None lol, I forgot how to draw clothes

11. Do you listen to anything while drawing? If so, what

I usually don't, but on some occasions I listen to anything and everything

12. Easiest part of body to draw

Head

13. A creator who you admire but whose work isn't your thing

Franticframes on Instagram!

14. Any favorite motifs

Anything to do with death, angels, fire, betrayal, anger, grief, sleep, flowers, and longtime friendships

15. *Where* do you draw (don't drop your ip address this just means do you doodle at a park or smth)

My desk

16. Something you are good at but don't really have fun doing

Line art probably? I have mixed feelings on how it looks in a lot of my art but I can get it done and I know how to make it work

17. Do you eat/drink when drawing? if so, what

18. An estimate of how much art supplies you've broken

Probably all the watercolor brushes I used growing up ahaha, I'd say 10% of all the tools I've used

19. Favorite inanimate objects to draw (food, nature, etc.)

Chairs are easy. I don't usually draw them correctly but they're easy aahah

20. Something everyone else finds hard to draw but you enjoy

I'm not caught up on what people say are hard to draw, almost everything is hard for me to draw (<- is a non-practicing artist on the regular)

21. Art styles nothing like your own but you like anyways

I really enjoy anime art in how detailed they get

22. What physical exercises do you do before drawing, if any

I just stretch my hands and wrists

23. Do you use different layer modes

24. Do your references include stock images

Frequently yes

25. Something your art has been compared to that you were NOT inspired by

I don't think my art has been compared to anything :/

26. What's a piece that got a wildly different interpretation from what you intended

The goth Marina ref sheet I posted has like.. A BUNCH of different interpretations I never intended or thought of. I just wanted to draw a ship in the goth wife doing a ritual meme and Marina felt the most inclined to be goth to me

27. Do you warm up before getting to the good stuff? If so, what is it you draw to warm up with

I found that warm ups end up sapping my energy, so I only do them if I don't plan on doing any big pieces for the day. Just wanna get my drawing exercises in

28. Any art events you have participated in the past (like zines)

Multiple inktober variations and a couple art telephones! I wanna do stuff like Art Fight and zines and big bangs, but I haven't had the energy for them somehow

29. Media you love, but doesn't inspire you artistically

The Owl House probably?

30. What piece of yours do you think is underrated

I SPENT 6 HOURS ON MY ELDER PITTACUS LORE ART AND MADE THREE VERSIONS OF IT PLEASE LOOK AT MY SLUTTY MAN I USED REFERENCES FOR

Weirdly Specific Artist Ask Game

Didn't see a lot of artist ask games, wanted to make a silly one.

(I wrote this while sick out of my mind last year and it's been collecting dust in my drafts, I might as well let it run free) 1. Art programs you have but don't use

2. Is it easier to draw someone facing left or right (or forward even)

3. What ideas come from when you were little

4. Fav character/subject that's a bitch to draw

5. Estimate of how much of your art you post online vs. the art you keep for yourself

6. Anything that might inspire you subconsciously (i.e. this horse wasn't supposed to look like the Last Unicorn but I see it)

7. A medium of art you don't work in but appreciate

8. What's an old project idea that you've lost interest in

9. What are your file name conventions

10. Favorite piece of clothing to draw

11. Do you listen to anything while drawing? If so, what

12. Easiest part of body to draw

13. A creator who you admire but whose work isn't your thing

14. Any favorite motifs

15. *Where* do you draw (don't drop your ip address this just means do you doodle at a park or smth)

16. Something you are good at but don't really have fun doing

17. Do you eat/drink when drawing? if so, what

18. An estimate of how much art supplies you've broken

19. Favorite inanimate objects to draw (food, nature, etc.)

20. Something everyone else finds hard to draw but you enjoy

21. Art styles nothing like your own but you like anyways

22. What physical exercises do you do before drawing, if any

23. Do you use different layer modes

24. Do your references include stock images

25. Something your art has been compared to that you were NOT inspired by

26. What's a piece that got a wildly different interpretation from what you intended

27. Do you warm up before getting to the good stuff? If so, what is it you draw to warm up with

28. Any art events you have participated in the past (like zines)

29. Media you love, but doesn't inspire you artistically

30. What piece of yours do you think is underrated

#not ll #you ask i answer

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sysig · 2 years ago

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Last minute Vargas request: I would love to see a digital redraw of one of the doodles from this set! (I can't link to it, but it's "Don’t be shy, speak up" from Dec 22, 2021) You can choose which one, I love them all ❤️ thank youu

Day 30 - Tut tut

#My art #Requestober #Vargas #Edgar #Scriabin #Serendipity! It was actually super easy to choose a redraw from that set!#I knew I didn't want to overload myself with either of the minis so those were easy to nix #The one where they're sleeping on the couch basically was already redrawn so that one's gone #And while Scriabin's bare-shouldered sweater is super cute it's a fairly simple picture - not as much character behind it #Which left Scriabin unsuccessfully shielding Edgar from the rain with his bone wings!#Which also just so happens to be one I've been wanting to do something with ever since And Also With You came out ♪#The scene of the two of them in the rain together was super cute and it made me excited to have a relevant doodle hehe #So now it exists two ways! Classic and Strangels ♥#Good pick and thanks for making it easy on me lol ♪#They're holding hands with their chained wrists ✨ It's totally just easier that way and doesn't mean anything hehehe #Buzzing's drowned out by the little pinpricks of chill #It's a good effort Scriabin

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thebomb-thebird-andtheburntbitch · 3 years ago

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pt.1: the swapping begins

-> 4-fking-am masterlist <-

b:katsuki / f.reader

genre: neighbor au, pro-hero bakugou

warning(s)!!: bakugou's potty mouth (ofc)

status: on-going!

synopsis: you had just moved into your new apartment and like every other college student under the sun, you had the worst sleep scheudle known to man. due to this, you find yourself playing music through your speakers at 4 am. your neighbor slides you a note under your door about your ‘shitty’ taste in music, thus the note swaps begin.

a/n: the first part has arrived! hopefully, updates on this particular series won't be so drawn out since i'm planning to keep all written parts on the shorter side along with the smau parts being just easier since it's all just dialog LOL (ive done smau in the past for other things but they weren't so hot but hopefully i'm better now lol rip)

-x-x-x-

w.count: 1.3k

-x-x-x-

Why did you decide to go back to school to pursue further education again? If it wasn’t to stress yourself into early grey hairs or to rip out those grey hairs until you were bald, then why?

Collapsing over your desk- textbook open and notes out in messy piles with doodles across every edge and corner from wandering concentration- you groan. Exams were right around the corner, but you couldn’t for the life of you get your brain to focus on one thing- much less multiple things- for more than a couple hours, so studying quickly turned into a failed attempt to study.

Normally, studying wasn’t so difficult for you and you actually found it therapeutic in its own weird way. You enjoyed learning new things and the pride and wholeness you felt after succeeding to teach yourself something new was well worth whatever the process to get there was to you. But, this current college burnout was making all those end results hard to get to.

You glanced at the clock on one of the elevated shelves of your desk, the dimly glowing orange letters showing the time of 3:54 am. You groaned again, pushing your forehead into your written words and definitely smearing pencil lead on your forehead while you were at it. Maybe you’d soak up the words this way and have the knowledge transferred automatically into your brain if you pushed just hard enough.

Another dull and unrelenting amount of minutes pass you by before you officially call it quits for the night. Giving up, you walked to the other side of the room and plopped down on your bed’s edge next to one of your nightstands, your wrist rubbing your forehead to hopefully clear away the mess of leftover lead on it. On this nightstand was your radio and beneath it along the shelves and below the drawer was a collection of CDs.

In a world where albums were digital and everything was Bluetooth compatible and no one carried around a portable CD player anymore, you felt somewhat awkward sometimes at the seemingly large and ridiculous collection of yours. There were still plenty of people with CDs and even vinyls, but still- the awkwardness of your ‘retro’ thinking at your age did make you feel a bit self-conscious; no matter how idiotic it sounded.

You leaned over the bed and down to the bottom shelf cubby and grabbed a thin, plastic album case. Popping it open, the cheap plastic threatened to break and bend as you pushed open the top of your radio and placed the CD inside, shutting it again and turning it on.

A small little baby blue boombox that resembled a sort of bubble-like structure- a late birthday gift from your friends back in your hometown.

You figured if you didn’t absolutely blast your music, it would be fine to play aloud. Plus, you decided to put your bedroom in the backmost room, and the second room closer to the front room of your apartment was used for storage- since renting a storage unit was way too expensive. In your mind, the room closet to the door for a single living tenant would definitely be their bedroom- so you did the opposite when you moved in.

With your legs still handing off the side of the bed, you threw yourself back onto the mattress with your arms out to your sides. You stared at the ceiling of your room, thinking that at some point you’d need to purchase some cheap glow-in-the-dark stars to tack up there just for nostalgia’s sake.

As you heard the radio read the CD in small hums, you shut your eyes and smiled when the first track started. To be honest, you weren’t really pressed for what music you were going to be listening to, so you just kinda pulled from your cubby and popped the CD in without even looking at what you grabbed. You almost laughed when an older album your mom used to listen to started playing.

You weren’t exactly sure how it happened or when, but the next thing you knew, you were staring blankly and tiredly up to your ceiling again. The sun outside had risen and you heard birds, outside chatter, and basic roadside living outside. Even being up on the fourth floor, you could still hear the world below fairly well since you almost always had your window open with a fan inside of it.

Your body was sore from how you were laying on your back with your arms out, and you felt stiff. Legs partially numb from hanging off the bed all morning when you turned to look at your clock on the desk with squinted eyes.

Almost noon.

“God,” you moaned, forcing yourself up and wobbly making a path out of your room and into the kitchen to solve the problem of your severe cottonmouth. Stepping out of your narrow, short hall, you yawned and stopped before stepping into the kitchen when you saw a note at your doorstep. It had been slid under the front door and was face down, small blotches of black bled through to show that the other side had something written on it in marker.

More intrigued with the mysterious note than ready to deal with your dry mouth and throat that demanded water, you trotted to the paper and flicked it up. Your eyes quickly scanned the note and you gasped, slightly slapping a hand over your mouth.

‘Your taste in music really fuckin’ sucks’

Oh my god, someone heard that? Were you too loud? Was it annoying? Who in their right mind has the further room from the door other than you who did it on purpose so that this situation could be specifically avoided? Would you need to move rooms? No, then you’d have your other neighbors slipping you notes or even knocking on your door.

Maybe this neighbor has a roommate and had no choice but to take the room furthest from the door. Would you need to move out now before you died from overthinking the situation?

Racing back into your room, you tore out a sheet of lined paper and a mark erfrom your jar of pens, pencils, highlightser, what have you, and began to write in large letters a note back.

‘I’m so sorry about the noise! I’ll make sure not to play it that ungodly early again! (also, no it doesn’t, my taste in music is fine).’

You felt a little silly putting the added small text at the bottom of the paper in parentheses, but you felt the need to nip this particular neighbor’s opinion about your music in the butt- you boiled the choice down to comedies sake.

Making your way back to your door, you unlocked the bolt and unlatched the chain as you poked your head out. For it being almost the middle of the day, you made sure no one was in the halls before you jogged out your door and to the left. Your room was the furthest left room and they heard it, so clearly it had to be the left side neighbor... right?

Taking one last left-to-right look down the hall, you knelt at the door, pushed your paper under it, and dashed back into your own apartment before locking it back up. You let out a breath, as you pushed your back into the door, feeling awkward and almost embarrassed at the idea of passing notes with your neighbor. Trying to be secretive about it and acting like if someone saw you push a note under their door you’d be looked at strangely.

In a somewhat awkward way, you felt like some weird criminal.

“Whatever,” you shook your head, slapping your hands on your cheeks and heading to the kitchen. Finally ready to get that glass of water you had been craving to soothe your aching throat with. You had other things to get done today anyway. Now that you were awake, better get your day started.

Even if you may have just completely fucked your sleep schedule.

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clotpole-art · 3 years ago

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Retrospective: Illustrated Merlin Alphabet Challenge

Finally finished the Merlin Alphabet Challenge, so here's the artist notes no one asked for! See below the cut for comments on each piece by order of creation. Be warned folks, it's a long post.

Before we begin: credit to @merlin-gifs for the challenge, which can be found here. It's awesome, go do it.

First thing you should know is I did probably 80-90% of these while on phone calls or in Zoom meetings and that's reflected in the simplicity of most pieces -- the compositions aren't complicated, the lines aren't refined, the coloring is slapdash. If you noticed variation in quality of the pieces, that's why!

Second: I tried to focus on trying something new for each drawing. Didn't always happen, but this challenge did succeed in helping me push me out of my own comfort zone.

Without further ado...

A is for Arthur Pendragon

Textures, baby! Brushed metal of his armor, scratchy linen texture of his shirt, wispy softness of hair and skin. I'd recently gotten my tablet out of storage after a year of figuring out where the hell I was going to live and this was one of the first pieces of digital art I spent time on. Glad it was Arthur kicking us off!

B is for the Beginning of the End (1x08)

Fun fact, I did not draw this with my tablet. I drew it with my work computer's touchscreen. It was awful, would not recommend.

C is for Camelot

I wanted to get used to different brushes, so landscape of the castle it was! There are brushes that help with drawing grass; I did not use said brushes and my wrist hurt afterward. That being said, I really enjoyed working on this and it was one of the few pieces I didn't do while multitasking.

D is for Daegal

Also drawn on my work computer's touchscreen, not my tablet. I didn't learn my lesson from B and the experience was even worse. This is my least favorite piece which sucks because it's Daegal so I'm slated to redo this sometime in the near future. Gotta do our boy justice.

E is for Elyan

Oh, I adored drawing this. Elyan often gets shafted in terms of fandom appreciation so I made sure to choose Elyan for this prompt and to participate in the Elyan fest. Plus, I love a good ghost story and figuring out a way to include the druid spectre was fun. Didn't multitask on this piece because Elyan deserved my full attention.

F is for Freya

Ho boy. This piece. I have such mixed feelings on this drawing. Really really didn't like it after I'd decided it was done and very nearly scrapped the whole thing. I had a vision in my head that I just couldn't render into reality and it frustrated me SO MUCH. Looking back, I like it much better than I did when I first created it.

G is for Gwaine

What can I say, he's pretty when he's cold. I didn't stretch too much with this one -- it's my normal drawing style, I was just trying to find a brush that mimicked the softness of pencil.

H is for Hunith

Another one that didn't stray too far from my comfort zone. I was stupid sick and slammed at work, so a motherly Hunith manifested herself. I blame the bad brush choice on the cold medicine.

I is for Isolde

I woke up and chose violence! Tried to vary my figure drawing style a little in this piece but my brain resisted, resulting in... this. Not mad at it, but not happy with it either. Poor Isolde.

J is for Juggling

Ah, this lovely piece was drawn during a particularly vexing meeting at work. Fun fact, there's another version of this line art that's less about Merlin's stress and more about mine.

K is for Knights of Camelot

Continuing the theme of doodling through bad news and shit meetings. Like I said above, normally meeting doodles aren't complex because I'm concentrating on something else. This one was more involved because I didn't want to concentrate on the meeting. I have a few issues with this from a technical standpoint (perspective, my nemesis) but it's still one of my favorites. Tried some funky coloring technique, didn't hate it.

V is for Vibrant Colors

And here is where we said fuck the rules and started going out of alphabetical order! This one was really fun to do and I loved kicking off Albion Party with this as my first submission. The colors were a challenge (as I hoped they would be) and this is the first time I had to do some color tweaking midway though and after finishing the coloring process. Vibrant Arthur, my beloved. This started as a multitask doodle but took dedicated time to finish.

O is for Old Religion

The concept for this one was buzzing in my head for a bit before a quote-prompt solidified it. I adore the thought of more visible, tangible representations of Merlin as the son of the elements, of "magic itself" -- not just sun-gold eyes, but sea-water hair and sandstone-skin. A complement to the vibrant Arthur portrait.

S is for Sorcerers

When I said I wanted to challenge myself, I wasn't kidding. Ho boy, this was fun but frustrating. I wanted to completely illustrate a gif. So I did. Will I do something like this again? Maybe. A while from now.

M is for Morgause

See above -- same illustrated gif style so at least I was able to reuse some drawings. Poor Morgause ended up looking a little wretched here because I was mentally done with this when I was drawing her. Love the concept of tarot cards + Merlin but others are doing it so I won't continue this series.

Z is for Zzzz

This one was specifically done to test out some custom brushes I made in Krita to make abstract background drawing easier for me. I think they turned out well! Plus who doesn't love bb iridescent Aithusa.

L is for Leon, P is for Percival

Quick, minimal doodles of the boys! Mentally, I was going for a Brady's-style retro ensemble cast TV show credits feel. Not mad at it! Some boys look closer to their actors than others (I think my brain broke drawing Percy, my apologies to Tom Hopper).

T is for Tristan

It wasn't until after I posted this that I realized there was more than one Tristan in Merlin. Could have drawn Isolde's bf but I drew Ygraine's dumb jock undead brother instead. Had some fun with dark greys and blacks here regardless.

Q is for Queen Annis

Best royal in Albion, bar none. I tried a different coloring technique here and I kinda like it! may make it my go-to but we'll see. Old habits are hard to break. Also: our queen deserved more badass clothes.

X is for Arthur X Merlin

Oh, be still my shipper heart. Doodled and colored during a meeting. I had hoped to spend more time on it outside of multitasking but alas, work is a bitch. This one is slated for a rework sometime in the future; I adore the concept too much to let it go without creating another version of this that isn't an utter mess.

U is for Uther's Ward

And here's my attempt at forgoing line art. Not fun, do not like.

Y is for Young Warlock

Channeled some pain into this one. Those are the dead eyes of someone who had been told that he'd succeeded when his friend died. That the destiny he'd been expecting to carry on his shoulders into old age was done and dusted before he turned 30. Grief plus the existential dread of the aimless immortal. Oof. One of my favs.

N is for Nimueh, R is for Rising Sun, W is for Will

And we end on this sorry offering. I was away from home for a while without my tablet and I just got tired of waiting. So, pen doodles at the airport. This was a challenge in its own right because 1. pen only and 2. I wasn't able to pull Netflix up for a reference on the fly. Which is why Will's face is obscured and Nimueh looks.... not like Nimueh lol.

In summary: this was a goddamn joy to do. I finished 26 letter prompts in approximately 21 weeks, which exceeded my own unspoken goal of filling one letter per week. I found a good, happy corner of the Merlin fandom after a years-long hiatus away from being a fandom creator. If you did make it this far with me, thanks for reading my inane comments and giving this little project even a moment of your time -- I'm so grateful.

#merlinalphabetchallenge #clotpole art #long post #merlin fanart #merlin #bbc merlin #bbc merlin fanart

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mysticthot · 6 years ago

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RFA Soulmate AU

spoilers for v and ray’s routes

Yoosung- Whatever you draw on your skin, your soulmate can see

He learned about soulmates when he was a little kid

Loved the idea that there was a person made perfectly for him

Didn’t try to really contact you until he got into his teen years

He was nervous to try and draw something, he didn’t know what to say, but he didn’t want you to think he was lame if he just said hi or something

You and him had shared drawings before, but just little things like a homework page or a doodle of a flower

He didn’t know why you had never tried to talk to him before, but he couldn’t really say anything cause he hadn’t tried either

Maybe you were shy like him

His first word from you comes when he’s least expecting it

He’s in high school, hella focused on a test, then he feels a weird sensation on his arm

He looks down, and he’s unfamiliar, yet somehow comforting handwriting

“Hello...? I’m MC <3

Boi is shook

Then he is immediately called out by the teacher who thinks he’s cheating and writing answers on his arm

That whole ordeal takes over his focus, so he isn’t able to respond to you until after class

“Hi, I’m Yoosung!”

After that, you guys are constantly talking

You tell each other about your day, and the places you live, or even draw little things to make the other laugh or blush

He’s so excited to graduate and go to college, but you’re a year behind him, so you wont be able to join him at University right away

He promises that he’s fine waiting one more year, he doesn’t want you to have to move on your final year of high school

Then Rika dies

And he’s a mess

You see him change through his writing

He writes less, and it’s almost always about Rika when he does

You want to go visit him, but he insists he’s ok

You were the only one who seemed to understand him, he didn’t know if he would have been able to make it without you

When he gets into gaming and starts slacking off a lot, he’s worried you’ll think he’s a loser and you wont want to be with him anymore

“Yoosung, you’re literally my soulmate I don’t care what you do as long as you’re happy!”

Definitely cries

When you graduate, he is so excited

All the RFA members know all about you cause you’re all he talks about the months leading up to your move

He waits at the airport for your plane practically vibrating with nerves and excitement

“OMG Zen what if she thinks I’m too short, or not manly enough, or she doesn’t like my hair, or-”

“Yoosung, I’m in the middle of a rehearsal, stop calling me!”

You spend the whole plane ride drawing intricate designs all over your arm so you will be able to find him in a crowd easier

Your plane lands, and you walk out, trying to find someone that meets his description

You see him before he sees you

He’s standing there, holding flowers, looking so nervous

You have the biggest smile on your face as you run over to him and his eyes finally meet yours and-

Oh no, he’s crying

He break down in tears running into your arms, sweeping you off your feet

“Oh MC I’m so happy to see you I’ve waited my whole life for this moment you are everything I ever hoped you would be!”

“I love you Yoosung.”

“I love you too.”

You give him his first kiss and its perfect

He’s never been so happy

Until he logs onto the group chat and finds Saeyoung had hacked the CCTV and showed everyone how he immediately cried when he saw you

Not so happy anymore

Zen- Have each others first word tattooed (has to be spoken directly to them)

Zen had always found his soulmate tattoo rather funny

On his wrist, his soulmates first word were delicately written in a beautiful cursive

People always admired it, until they looked closer and saw what it actually said

“Oh fuck- Shit oh no I fucked it up!”

As a child, parents and teachers did not appreciate when he showed the vulgar words around to the other kids

It was like a badge of honor when he was younger

Kids thought he was cool purely based on the curse words on his wrist

As he got older, it lost its novelty and became just like any normal tattoo for him

Though, it was still funny to see people’s faces when they first saw it

He was sure he would meet his soulmate when he was in the biker gang

The girls he hung around with then were tough and cursed frequently, but it never happened

He had gone out with a few girls, but it never felt right, and he knew it was cause they weren’t the one for him

When he got his act together and started doing musicals, he thought maybe you would be a coworker, cursing after messing up a line, but he had still yet to find you

The hopeless romantic binch he is, he is constantly complains about his lack of soulmate to the RFA

But none of them found theirs either, so they can all kinda relate

He is always thinking of you, so of course you would show up in his life the only time he wasn't

It was during the opening night of a production he was in

He was the lead, of course, and this was one of the rare moments you weren’t the main thing on his mind

You were sat in the crowd, near the stage with a few friends

You had a friend in the play, and she had gotten you good tickets, so you brought flowers and stuff to show your support

The lights dimmed, and the most gorgeous man you had ever seen in your life walked out onto the stage

You swear he must have been a statue or something

The play began, and he delivered his lines perfectly

You were supposed to be there supporting your friend, but you’re pretty sure your eyes hadn’t left him all night

It was near the end of the production, when he turned to the crowd with a flourish, his eyes suddenly meeting yours as he spoke his next line:

“Could this be love?”

His eyes stayed glued to yours for a second to long, before he unfroze, and continued his monologue

You were shook, looking down at your tattoo with wide eyes

His words were on your wrist, and as you read over them, it was like his voice spoke to you all over again

You couldn’t wait for the play to be over

You sat through the rest of it trying to figure out the perfect first line to say to him

His was so romantic and beautiful, you didn't want to screw this up!

As soon as the curtain fell, you hopped up, shouting to your friends that you were going to the bathroom, before running off towards back stage

You really didn’t know where you were going, but you followed down some halls following the faint sound of the cast members voices when you turned a corner and ran full speed into someone

Stumbling backwards, you looked up and saw the guy from the play, your soulmate

Your mind went blank, you scrambled for something to say before

“Oh fuck- Shit oh no I fucked it up!”

You gasped, realizing what had just come out of your mouth, before looking down at his arm and seeing those exact words tattooed on him

“Oh...my...god.”

Wide eyed and mouth open, you stared at him

He looked right back with a smile that made you wanna pass out

“I am so sorry. You had that tattooed all your life?”

“Don’t worry about it, I wouldn’t want anything else.”

He took your hands in his, and you could see nothing but love and happiness in his eyes

“I’m so fucking happy to finally meet you.”

Jaehee- You have a mark where your soulmate will touch you the first time

Most people had their marks on their hands

The hand print of their soulmate forever on their palm, signifying they would one day shake their hand, those were the most common

Some people had their marks in more random places, maybe they would run into them in a crowd, or be passing by one day in the street

Jaehee, how ever, had two hand prints forever marked on her back

There were two possibilities, either she would be pushed by her soulmate or hugged

While she hopped it was the latter, either of the meetings seemed rather forward, especially for a conservative girl like her

Who would be hugging (or, hopefully not, pushing) her at their for their very first meeting?

While thoughts of her soulmate one day showing up in her life occupied her mind for most of her younger years, she didn’t really have much time to think about romance these days

Her work and home life was plagued by corporate heirs, cats, and the RFA, leaving very little room for much else

There were nights when she would be changing, or just getting out of the shower, and she would catch sight of the marks in the mirror

It would fill her with a sadness and a loneliness that not even Zens videos could cure

She was only an assistant, she felt she had no one in her life that truly understood her

That is, until you came along

She was suspicious when you had first entered the chatroom, but over time she learned more about you

You understood her like no one else ever had before

You cared for her well being and stood up for her when she was being over worked

For the first time, she felt she was actually cared for

She could not wait to meet you at the party

The day of the party, she woke up to a tingle in her back that didn’t go away

As party grew nearer, the tingles only got worse, and Jaehee began to get more and more nervous

Time seemed to slow down as a you walked through the crowd towards her

She had never seen your face, yet she knew you must have been the MC from the chat room

A smiled took over your features as you opened your arms and swept her up in to a tight hug

She could feel as your fingers fell right into place of her marks, and her hands came to rest over yours

Her eyes were wide, and misty behind her glasses, before she let out a breath, and completely wrapped herself into you

For the first time in her life, she felt complete

“Thank you.” she cried into your shoulder.

Jumin- Red strings connecting soulmates(obvi lol)

Jumin grew up in a loveless house

His fathers soulmate had died before he ever met them, so Jumin grew up watching him try and fill that void with other women

That didn’t exactly give him a lot of hope for his future

With no one to compare it to, or even ask, Jumin was pretty clueless about the red string on his finger

All he knew was somewhere his soulmate was on the other end

As he got older any small amount of interest he may have had in his soulmate disappeared

The people in his life didn’t really care for soulmates, that was more of a commoner thing

People married for convenience or to help their image, rarely for love

There were women throwing themselves at him daily, but he was known for being untouchable (does jumin han is gay?)

People thought he was waiting for his soulmate, but he truly just didn't care

He met you for the first time at a Gala event in (your country)

It had taken him a while to notice, as he went out of his way to ignore the string, but he looked up and saw the end of his string for the first time in his life

It was connected to you, a waitress that was catering the event, standing across the room

His heart seemed to jump for a moment, and he turned around, not really knowing what to do

It hadn’t seemed like you’d noticed him yet, you were working hard to balance a tray of champagne as you wove through the crowd

He watched you walk around for a few minutes, you politely smiled at guests and passed drinks

He was internally arguing with whether or not to go talk to you, when you were stopped by a hand on your shoulder

His mood immediately dropped as he saw the hand belonged to none other than his father, who was clearly flirting with you

He never could resist a pretty face, no matter who it was

Jumin turned and left, calling Driver Kim to take him back to his hotel

With every step away from the building, he felt a tug in his chest like something was wrong, but he pressed on

Soulmates were nothing but a useless fantasy, something people use to comfort themselves into believing they weren’t alone in this world

The last thing he needed in his life was another disappointing woman

He didn’t think much about his soulmate for two years

Then you showed up in the chatroom, and you treated him like no one else had

You laughed at his jokes and asked about Elizabeth the 3rd

You didn’t ask or expect anything from him, you said you liked to talk to him, and he realized he liked to talk to you too

When the hacker was becoming a threat, he refused to let you stay alone and unguarded, and insisted for your safety and his sanity, that you come to the penthouse

He hadn’t thought of his soulmate in years, but now he wanted to hope it was you, that he was getting a second chance to meet you

His string often lead out the front door of his penthouse, but now, as he sat their waiting for you, he hoped for the first time that when those doors opened, he would see the other end and get back the chance he missed

As you stepped out of the car you couldn’t hold back your smile, your string was headed right into that building

You knocked on the door, and his voice immediately called for you to come in

Your string was going right into his penthouse

Heart pounding, your opened the door, and on the other side stood Jumin

His heart soared when he saw you, and it nearly stopped when he saw the end of his string connecting him to you

He had never smiled so hard, tears were collecting in his eyes

He couldn’t believe it was really you

The red string faded away as your hand came to grip his, and he felt all of his strings become untangled

He cant believe he wasted years being without this feeling, without you, all because of his own fears

“MC, I love you. I promise I will for the rest of my days, I will cherish you always.”

“I love you too Jumin.”

He had missed out on you once, he wasn’t gonna let you get away again

(extra-)

“wow jumin u know i used to work for a catering company that did all kinds of fancy gigs, i cant believe i never met u there!”

“uh... about that....”

Seven- Soulmates can feel each others feelings

It was like a constant hum in the back of your mind...well, if that hum came with a particular feeling

Your soulmates feelings weren’t exactly the same as your own, but they were felt as though they were

As a child, you didn’t quite understand why you were sad all the time...cause you weren't sad, you just felt sad

Your parents knew your soulmate must not have the best life, but they couldn’t exactly explain that to a 7 year old

As you grew up and learned more about soulmates, you began to understand

When they felt sad, you did

When they felt scared, you did

When they felt hopeless, you did too

So you made it your goal to be as happy as you could, as some way to possibly comfort your soulmate

You always tried to see the bright side of things and be positive

You didn’t want to add any extra sadness to whatever your soulmate was already feeling

And your soulmate was grateful for that...or at least you felt like he was

As time passed, you soulmates feelings changed

He was still sad, but it was a different kind

Like he was sad, but he was ok with being sad

It was both more and less intense for you to feel

When you joined the RFA, you immediately felt a pull to the mysterious 707

His personality seemed to familiar to you, it was like you had already known him

Meanwhile, Saeyoung was feeling the same thing

You had a bright feeling to you that made him feel like he was in a warm comfortable place

This feeling was something he often retreated into during his childhood

He would feel that happiness in the back of his mind and relish it like it was his own, and it made him feel good

He had a feeling you might be his soulmate, and that’s why he was so hesitant to go to the apartment

On one hand, as soon as you were beginning to be in danger, every part of him screamed for him to go to you

On the other, he knew if he went and you were his soulmate, he wouldn’t be able to keep himself from you

He wouldn’t be able to live with himself if something happened to you because of him

Despite this, he ended up going over, and as soon as his eyes met yours, he knew

And you knew too

It was like meeting someone you knew a long time ago, they were familiar, yet you weren’t sure who they were exactly

You hugged him immediately, and he was so stiff in your arms

He wanted nothing but to melt into that warmth, for the first time in his life, that happiness that kept him going was right in front of him

But he held back, and he was so cold to you

He set up his things in the corner and tried to block out how confused and hurt you felt

You didn’t know why he was acting like this, but you felt his sadness, his loneliness

So you did what you had always done, and you loved him for who he was, and you enveloped him in a warmth so deep he couldn’t hold himself back

“I don’t understand MC, why don’t you get that I’m not good for you?! I’ve done nothing but bring you sadness your whole life, I’m putting you in danger just by being here! Why can’t you let me be?”

“I love you Seven. I’ll love you when you’re sad, and when you’re happy, and everything in between. I’m always going to be here for you whether you want me or not!”

He cried into your shoulder, holding you close

He’d never felt that kind of security before

You were doing you’re best for him, so he resolved to do his best for you

V- You see color for the first time when you make eye contact with your soulmate

Being a photographer who couldn’t see colors was not an easy job

V would take pictures, then put a grey filter over what was already grey for him so it looked the same to everyone, soulmate or not

He wanted to badly to fall in love, to feel complete and be loved in return

He had almost found that in Rika

The feelings were there, they were both sure they were in love, but both of them continued to see in black and white

It wasn’t an uncommon thing for people who weren’t soulmates to date

People often did until they were ready to settle down, and some unlucky few never found their soulmates, so they made what love they could

V tried to be happy with this kind of love, he tried to love her in a way that would make them both feel like they could see the colors

But Rika was unhappy, and didn’t believe he really loved her, after all, if he did he would be able to tell her what color her eyes were

When she faked her death and ran off, he felt he deserved what she did to his eyes, he couldn’t love her enough to see colors, so he didn’t deserve to see at all

He was content keeping these secrets and protecting Rika

Then you showed up, claiming to be sent by her

It didn’t take long for him to find you, being tricked by Rika and Ray to believe everything was just a game

He saw you in the gardens one night with Ray, and for a split second, he thought he saw the color of your hair, but he blinked and it was gone

He knew he needed to rescue you before you got hurt, the last thing he wanted was and innocent person getting dragged into this because of him

When he tried to rescue you the first time, he was thrown off when you turned around and your eyes were a magnificent (e/c)

Then suddenly everything had color, and you were staring at him and he was staring at you and Ray was yelling that there was an intruder and guards were coming

He had to leave before he was captured, but as he escaped, all he could think about was the color of your eyes

This was not part of the plan, but it made everything a thousand times more complicated

Neither of you mentioned it in the chatrooms, but he promised he would be back to save you, and you knew you could trust him

When Rika brought you out to the gardens, she explained how V had tried to force a love that wasn’t there

You wanted to shout at her, he was never meant to be hers!

But you held yourself back, she was using you as bait and suddenly V was captured and being dragged away

When Seven saved him, all you could do was stare at him as he lay in you lap

He was mumbling your name and asking if you were safe, drugged out of his mind, but still worrying for you

When he began to regain his senses as the drug wore off, he felt terrible

He had endangered you, he had not only hurt Rika, but he had almost hurt you because of it

He realized what he had done was wrong, he didn’t know how to love

But when he was with you, everything that had been difficult with Rika, was so easy

Loving you was like second nature to him, he knew you were truly meant for him

You taught him how to love, and his world was metaphorically and literally brighter

He could paint and take pictures and see all the beauty in the world, because you loved him effortlessly

Saeran- Soulmates can meet each other in their dreams

Saeran did not know what soulmates were for a very long time

His mother didn’t teach tell them about any of those things, and he never got to leave the house, so he didn’t know until one day when Saeyoung explained it to him

It was the middle of the night, they were together under a blanket looking at a book Saeyoung had brought home

“I learned something new today. There was a book in the church about soulmates. Apparently we all have them and if we go to sleep and think about them, we get to meet them in our dreams!”

Saeran was so excited to try it, that it took him hours to finally fall asleep

But when he did, he was suddenly in a field

There were wild flowers in the long grass, and a warm sunny feeling Saeran had never experienced before

Then there was a voice

“Finally! I’ve been waiting for you for so long!”

He turned around and there was a little girl with a wide smile running towards him through the grass

She stopped in front of him, she looked about his age

He was nervous, Saeyoung hadn’t told him what to say, and he had never talked to a girl besides him mother before

“I’m MC, I’m your soulmate!”

You hugged him, and it felt so nice, no one except his brother had ever done that

You were so nice to him, he never wanted to wake up

His dreams became his way to get away from reality

When Saeyoung would leave to go on errands and his mom was drunk, he would go to sleep and meet you

Even if you weren’t there, the field with the flowers was so nice and warm, it became his favorite place

You taught him the names of the flowers there, and told him about things you learned in school

You became the best thing in his life

Until his mom found out

She woke him from one of these naps once, screaming at him for falling for the lie that was soulmates

She told him you weren't real, you were just a made up lie meant to trick and hurt him

He didn’t want to believe her, but her but he was rarely allowed to sleep now, and Saeyoung had suddenly disappeared

After the loss of his brother and being taken in by Rika, things were better

Rika took him to paradise and gave him a purpose

He knew she would never lie to him like his brother had, so he listened when she told him to never try to dream of you

She said soulmates weren’t real, and the girl in his dreams was just trying to trick him like his brother

You were sad when your soulmate had stopped coming to the field

You didn’t understand why, he had been perfectly fine one day, then gone forever the next

You spent a majority of your childhood and teen years thinking you had somehow messed up, but you learned to live with it and accept that maybe you would one day meet him, but not now

When you got a message asking you to test a game, you felt compelled to trust the person, so against your better judgement, you willingly went

Meeting Ray gave you such a feeling of nostalgia, the way he acted, the way he talked about flowers and ice cream

It all felt so familiar

You went back to the field every night, on the off chance that he would be there, but it was empty time after time

Ray was confused

He liked you so much, you made him really happy so deep down in his heart

But Rika had said soulmates weren’t real, the girl in his dreams was just part of his imagination

He hadn’t had a desire to go to the field since he was a kid, but now that you had shown up, every time he slept, he felt a pull trying to take him there

Ray was confused and curious as to what this meant

But Searan was angry

When he took over, he didn’t like how you made him feel

That idiot Ray was always blushing over you, and his thought blended into Searans sometimes

He wanted to be mad at you

You reminded him of a lie, something his brother had tricked him into believing

But towards the final day, he was no longer able to fight off the pull, and he fell asleep and found himself in the field

It was just like it was all those years ago, the same warmness and flowers and long grass

The only difference was you, all grown up, sitting in the sunlight

You still waited for him after all those years

After everything he put you through, you still came every night hoping to see...him?

He didn’t understand

He had been horrible to you but you still wanted to see him

He woke up the next day and he was no longer those two personalities, but one that was finally ready to love you the way you loved him all that time

“MC...you opened my eyes.. you’re the only one who has stayed with me all this time.”

“I love you Saeran, I’ll always stay with you.”

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gold-from-straw · 5 years ago

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Divergence - ch10

I've been planning to add the second half of this chapter for a long time (only just managed it now, hence the late upload lol! it's still officially Friday where I am!) But a conversation with @interplanetarygirl really helped to get me into Francis' mindset for the realisation he has (similar to Charles' realisation about his own past a couple of chapters ago) so THANK YOU!!

Read from the beginning on Ao3 if you like!

“Good!” said Erik. “Twenty more.”

Francis slumped, breathless, and Erik tugged him up sharply by the eyelets on his boxing gloves. “You need stamina,” Erik said. His voice was sharp and hard, but Francis could feel the steady hum of affection underneath that made Francis feel safe, the way he never had even with the honeyed words of Father’s friends and colleagues.

He was also devastatingly attractive for an older man. Francis set his teeth and threw punch after punch at the bag until it swayed and jerked.

“Well done,” Erik said, when he’d counted down from twenty. He beckoned and started unlacing Francis’ gloves. “Flex your hands. Fine. Looks good. Go and have a shower and tell me if they start hurting or anything - you want to get stronger, not damage yourself. Tomorrow we’ll do some more on reactions and sparring.”

The sense of satisfaction and pride from Erik that Francis was basking in suddenly flared into something almost overwhelming, bone-deep and infinite, when Erik looked past Francis to the doorway. There was nothing more than a faint smile to betray the love pouring off him.

“Charles,” said Erik. “Finally decided to take me up on my offer of training, have you?”

Charles smiled. “Only if you’re prepared to be beaten at your own game.”

Erik laughed and threw Francis’ gloves at Charles and walked towards him. Francis was all but forgotten as Erik started to lace Charles up.

Charles had much better shields than Erik, of course. But even so, as Erik brushed his thumbs over Charles’ wrist, Francis caught the blast of emotion from Charles, a flash of intense love, a connection that bound the two men together.

Francis turned away, half envious, half embarrassed. He wondered, for the first time, about the Erik Lehnsherr back in his own universe, whether it was possibly for someone to love him as much as this Erik and Charles loved each other.

He was lost in thought on the walk back, so almost didn’t notice Arthur. “Hi, Francis,” he said quietly.

Francis jumped and blinked at his younger self, sitting like a pixie on a stone window seat. “Hi,” he said cautiously. “Are you OK?”

Arthur nodded, his chin still pressed against his knees.

Francis licked his lips. He had no idea how to deal with children, but he could feel the vague, cautious tendrils leaking out from the little boy. “Did Charles block your telepathy off?” he asked.

Arthur nodded. “He’s been teaching me how to build my shields myself, but I’m not good enough to do it on my own yet.” He looked down, twisting his lips.

“Well, that’s OK,” Francis said quickly. He had a sudden vivid memory of sitting outside his father’s room for hours, kicking his heels and singing quietly, hoping for even the smallest scrap of attention. “Hey… I’ve got to have a shower, but do you want to do some drawing afterwards, or something?”

“Really?” said Arthur, hope sparkling through his emotions.

“Sure,” Francis smiled. “Come on, you can wait in my room until I’m ready.”

Arthur scrambled down from his perch and practically skipped along beside Francis. He smiled down at him, amused and suddenly quite aware that he was feeling the same warmth he got when Raven asked him a question, or followed him, or flopped onto the seat next to him and snuggled up.

Raven, he thought, the warmth fading. What would she be doing right now? What would she do without him there?

Not that Raven couldn’t take care of herself – she’d been doing so for years before he met her, but she shouldn’t have to! That was the point! Francis loved looking after her… if he was honest with himself, it gave him purpose, and now…

He glanced down at Arthur, who smiled up at him, open and hopeful and still trusting. That trust hadn’t quite been beaten out of him yet.

But it wouldn’t be this time, would it? He was surrounded by people who actually cared about him, and who wanted to look after him.

He closed the bathroom door behind him, leaving Arthur in his room, and poked at the fading bruises on his ribs. All these people… they wanted to look after Francis, too, he could tell even without reading their minds. But it didn’t feel right when he imagined himself coddled and cared for and protected – that was his job. He was the protector. He was the one who took the punches and worked out how to hide Raven’s mutation and what lies to tell to people who asked too many questions or pushed himself to get the data his father had wanted.

He wasn’t a kid any more, after all, not like Arthur.

But then… he wasn’t an adult either, not like Charles.

He showered quickly, trying not to think of Raven and the life he’d left behind. Did he want to go back there, getting punched every time he moved wrong, every time he said something annoying? Of course not! But… wasn’t it the right thing to do?

He didn’t have the answer by the time he came out of the steaming bathroom, drying his hair roughly on a towel. Arthur was sitting on the very edge of his bed, completely still and formal, and Francis stopped, his throat suddenly aching. He remembered doing the same in his mother’s room, hoping that maybe this time he’d be good enough and neat enough and perfect and well-behaved enough to gain her affection – even just her attention.

He pushed it away, folded it up in a box like those he’d glimpsed from time to time in Erik’s mind. Put it aside and didn’t let himself think too hard as he walked over to Arthur and ruffled his hair. “What do you want to draw first, then?”

Arthur’s face split into a brilliant smile. “I’ve been thinking about that! I want to draw everyone. I want to draw you and me and Charles first, and then Erik and Moira and Alex. And Sean and me together making tacos! And Raven and Hank and then maybe I’ll draw another picture of Alex shooting those lights out of his chest and you fighting with Erik.”

He sucked in a breath suddenly, as if he’d forgotten that was a thing a person has to do in between sentences, and Francis laughed. “Well, we’d better get busy then, hadn’t we? I’m afraid I don’t have any colours, but there’s plenty of paper in a drawer over here, and pens and pencils too. Why don’t you get started while I get dressed?”

Arthur nodded and slipped off the bed, finding his supplies and kneeling on the chair to get a good view of his paper as he bent over it and started to draw big circle heads. Francis took his pieces of paper over to the window seat and crossed his legs, propping the paper on a textbook he’d found gathering dust under the bed.

“Francis,” said Arthur, still looking at his drawing. “Do you remember being me?”

Francis put his doodle to one side and leaned back. “Yes, I suppose. Some parts of it more than others, of course, but yes.”

“So I’m really going to turn into you?”

Francis considered this for a moment. “Partly? But remember you’re in a different world now. You’ll grow up differently – our timelines have diverged, I suppose.”

Arthur bit his lip and hesitated, then put his pen down. He still didn’t look at Francis. “Can you tell me…”

Francis waited a moment, but Arthur seemed to be struggling for words. “What’s on your mind?” he asked. “Would you like me to look?”

He slumped slightly and nodded. “Yes please.”

Francis lifted his fingertips to his temple and slipped into Arthur’s thoughts much easier than any other mind he’d ever been into. It was still like flowing downstream, like two water droplets merging, though now he had to move a little more deliberately, take a certain path, since Charles had built walls around him to block out noise.

He saw himself in Arthur’s mind, his eye swollen shut like it had been the day they both arrived, and arranged around him in every direction was every fear Arthur had about it, ever possible way he thought Francis had misbehaved to earn the punch.

“You want to avoid being hurt,” Francis said, and swallowed hard.

Arthur nodded and bit his lip. “Please?”

He laughed dryly. “I’m not very good at it, as you can tell.” Arthur’s face dropped, and Francis frowned, hurrying to reassure him. “But I’m sure you’ll be fine here – none of them seem the type to hit a child.”

“Yes, but I’ll be grown up soon, and then if I do something wrong they might hit me too. What did you do to get hit?”

Francis thought back and tried to stop himself flinching from the memories. “This time… I can’t quite… oh yes! I’d worn a hole in one of my shoes, that was it.”

Arthur cocked his head. “Don’t you have much money anymore?”

“No, it’s not like that, it’s… well, Kurt Marko – he’s the man who married Mother after Father died – he’s…” A bastard. “He doesn’t like spending money on me. He says I waste it.” He snorted to himself. He knew very well what Marko thought good use of the money would be. He also knew how frustrated he was that Francis’ mother wasn’t hurrying up and dying of liver failure from all the drinking. Francis stared out of the window, his mood darkening.

“So… I shouldn’t ask for things, and then I’ll be safe?”

Francis frowned and turned back to Arthur, swinging his feet down off the seat and leaning forward. “No, that’s not…”

He had a thought in that moment, a mental image of Kurt grabbing Arthur and throwing him into the wall. Only it wasn’t just a thought, it was a memory. Francis had only been eight, still grieving his father, still hoping that this new man in his life would care for him in some way, and Kurt had picked him up by his arm and thrown him. He couldn't even remember why.

Francis saw that happening to Arthur.

“Listen,” he said, holding Arthur’s gaze very seriously. “Anyone who hits you is wrong and bad. They don’t do it for any good reason, there’s nothing you can do or change about yourself that will keep you safe because it’s not your fault, you hear? It’s them. It’s anyone who wants to hurt you.”

“But…”

“You’ve got to let Charles take care of you. And Erik, and Sean and… probably everyone in this house, I think. But you have to hold onto that, Arthur. Anyone who hurts you is doing something very bad.”

Arthur nodded his head, uncertainty clear in his mind and his body language. Francis sighed and walked over to him, holding out his arms for a hug. Arthur snuggled in, his head just up to Francis’ ribs.

He’d been that small once. He’d wondered what he’d done wrong, and it had never been him at all.

For the first time, Francis considered going back to his own universe angry.

Tagging everyone who interacted with the last chapter! (also the permanent tag list of @insertmeaningfulusername, @mathmusicreading and @kungpao-giffy!) @vivavelle, @gerec, @kernezelda, @xcziel, @thechaoticwave, @paramecie, @goneadrift, @hufflehappenings, @kyotoagnes, @these-maginot-lines, @lyricfulloflight, @librodice, @unspokenhatred, @fullmetalcarer, @fxngsfogxarty (I’m sorry I didn’t reply to your message!! Thank you so much!!), @bugy-boo, @tteabea, @mnemo-ink, @deathzpells, @azulso, @dorianpink, @rainbow-door, @ketchavies-thoorrrr666, @kaeden4, @mykarush, @auri-moon, @thepaintingsafake, @ikeracity, @youurelovely, @pahisluuseri, @iwillshipyouman, @pumpkinspicedshane, @i-have-drowned-in-books

#Lyn's Writing #cherik #Divergence (Charlesen)#multiple universes #multiple selves #child abuse #emotional hurt/comfort #tw: violence #briefly and in memories

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greeneyedgirls4 · 5 years ago

Text

Heart of a Saint. Life of a Sinner

Summary - Her name was Raven. She had it all. The mind, good looks and sparkling personality. She truly was the Queen of everything.. or so she would let you think.

Her name was Raven.. and this is the story of how she died.

Chapter - 1/32. Bucky x reader.

Warnings - None. Just some fluff and of course a happy(ish) ending because you know me :) The first few chapters probably have awful writing because I started writing this then couldn't write for a good year (it was a bad year) and only got round to continuing it when I got back so please go easy on lil me lol. Are you all ready for this rollercoaster? I can’t wait for you all to read the rest.

You can also find me and this story on - AO3 and Fanfiction.net so feel free to leave some feedback wherever suits (I love feedback so honestly go for it!) please and this is my Masterlist. Thanks and enjoy!

The human mind is truly the scariest thing of all.

My name is Raven. I’m from New York City, have a little pain in the ass brother called Den and I’m a normal young woman.. or at least I was until Hydra decided to kidnap me, experiment on me and force me to build various machines and medicines that will create their army.

As I said, my name is Raven but I’m not a normal young woman anymore. I’ve been through a lot and when you read this, I’m more than likely dead.

1931

High school. The two words I had been trying my best not to think of the whole Summer but instead, here I am, walking into the shiny new school on my first day.

It was a bright cold day in September. The breeze is soft through my hair and the smell of freshly cut grass engulfs me.

What more could you ask for?

Summer. That’s what but it had flown by. I spent most of my days reading but when I wasn't doing that I was taking my little brother Den to his random soccer games or making sure we both got fed. Our parents aren't exactly the caring type so I was forced from a young age to learn how to bring up myself but when I turned six, Den was born and I had to learn to bring up him too. Bringing myself and Den up wasn't the easiest thing in the world but when you grow up around two alcoholics.. it’s not the hardest thing either.

Making my way through the iron gates I don't hear someone calling my name until I feel a small hand grip my shoulder. “Raven! I told you to wait for me at the park.”

I turn when Mary's voice reaches my ear. Of course she would have her blonde hair up in a ponytail. She always was the school pet in that way, following all the rules. “Sorry Mary. I totally forgot.”

We both turn towards the school building again and continue our journey to our classroom. When I reach the seat assigned to me I smile to myself when I see that Mary will be beside me, my smile quickly fades when I see the name on the other side of me. Bucky Barnes. He was known as the most popular boy in our neighbourhood.. and not for good reasons. Yes he's handsome and he has that whole bad boy look down to a T but he also flirts with anything that moves.

“Was Dennis giving you a hard time again this morning?” I’m snapped from my thoughts when I hear Mary’s quiet voice.

I take out my notebook and pencil and settle into my seat as the rest of the class filters in. “He wasn't too bad. Just a bit annoyed that I’ll be finishing later than he is now so he has to wait with the teacher.”

I hear her sigh and it’s not long before she's digging for answers again. “How many bottles have they drank today then?”

“Three.” I reply, lifting my green eyes to meet her sparkling blue. “It is nine o'clock and that was from last night so they are getting better.”

“You keep telling yourself that Rav.” She says and that’s when I look away from her. Mary has been my best friend since we were two. We met when she fell over in front of my house and mum had to bring her inside to patch up her cut knee. After that day, we would see each other all the time and soon became fast friends.

I lift my eyes to see the grey haired teacher make her way into the room but instead of watching longer I decide to pick up my pencil and doodle in my notebook. A habit of mine when I’m bored unfortunately.

After a few minutes I hear a rustling beside me and a husky cough. Lifting my eyes once more I meet the steel blue eyes of James or as everyone likes to call him.. Bucky.

“You alright there neighbour?” He says with a cocky smile and I can’t help the low groan that escapes me.

“Perfect. How about you Bucky?”

“Living life like there’s no tomorrow.” Bucky replies, his eyes still focused on mine. He leans forward, just enough for me to be able to smell the light aftershave on him. “I do love it when you say my name by the way.”

Again I groan only this time I roll my eyes too just to emphasis how much he was annoying me right now. “Good to know.” I whisper, turning my head towards the teacher who was now writing on the blackboard.

Throughout class I glance at Bucky every so often and find him already side eyeing me, only turning away when my eyes meet his. It was no secret among my friends that I have had a crush on Bucky for years, even when he annoys the life out of me. He was the first person outside of my family that I had met when we moved next door to him. I was only two when we moved from Queens to Brooklyn but I distinctly remember meeting him for the first time when he kicked a football at my head, only to miss and break my mum’s favourite plant pot.. which I then got the blame of and ended up with a fractured wrist for three weeks.

He’s never been overly nice to me though. Always teasing me, flirting maybe too but mostly doing those usual childish things that boys do to annoy girls. Today was actually the longest conversation we have had without one of us annoying the other person to the brink of wanting to stick a pencil in their eye. I think he just sees me as his little annoying neighbour. Suits me.

When class finishes I quietly leave before Mary, or even Bucky, can stop me for a chat. Making my way down the corridor I feel a strange sense of familiarity. I couldn't pinpoint what it was that seemed so familiar. Maybe it’s the fact I’m walking alone or that I’m trying to find any opportunity to just leave home and run away and marry a rich man who will hire someone to kill my parents once and for all. Yes, that sounds like it.

“Oui.. Raven.”

“Good start Bucky.” I say, turning my whole body to face him as he walks, no, saunters towards me. God this man would be the death of me. Between his gelled back brown hair, those piercing blue eyes and that smile that could melt anything in its path.. yes he was going to kill me.

He frowns and I know he's already confused by my quick reply. “What do you mean good start?”

“You remembered my name.” I reply, looking him straight in the eye. When he continues frowning, I give up. “I was being sarcastic Bucky.”

“Ohh. I thought you were actually being nice to me for once.”

“You're not that lucky. Now what did you want?” I say, nodding for him answer quickly before my English class starts.

I watch him run a hand through his hair before he answers. “Could you be my p-partner for that assignment the teacher was going on about?”

“Why?”

“I just thought because we live beside each other and are beside each other in class so it would be easier to work together.”

I glance behind him as Mary comes out of the classroom batting her eyelids at a tall black haired boy who looks like he would rather be anywhere but right there with her. “Erm.. sure. As long as this isn't any kind of joke.”

“Why would it be a joke?” He says and he almost sounds vulnerable which causes guilt to bubble up in your chest. An emotion you are not too familiar with.

“I know you Bucky. You play people, you joke and you’re with a different girl every bloody week. I don't want us to suddenly sleep together and for me to end up being another girl in a long line. This is school and a project, no jokes.”

He nods his head and I sigh with relief. “No jokes. I promise.”

“Good. It’s hardly like we are even friends anyway.” I whisper, ignoring the hurt look on Bucky’s face and turning around to make my way into the English studies classroom.

Well this was going to be fun..

Tagging a few friends to spread the word a bit more hopefully - @deathbyukmen @ex-bookjunky @fanboyswhereare-you @myplaceofheavenorhell @galacyan-imagine @xllizette @honeybournehippy @sgtbxckybxrnes @wolfpawn @jackierand @cumonbucky @scarlettsage77 @lokisgloriouspurpose9 @archy3001 @redlipstickandplaid @unicorns-and-fairy-dust @starstruckpastalandbear and anyone else who wants to have a nosy xo

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br0adwa5 · 7 years ago

Text

deh apartment hcs

so i was just scrolling thru Tumblr Dot Com™ and I saw a post that said “does anyone else ever daydream of decorating their first apartment?” (if anyone knows who made that lmk) but anyway i saw that and was like omg if that ain’t alana and then i was like wAIT WHAT ABOUT THE REST OF THEM so here’s this. fyi this is like a college au type thing ish??

(im sotired this is kinda shitty lol)

(also thank u so much for the luv on my last two hcs? i cr ied? les get to the point sorry)

alana:

ok so this girl would obviously have the neatest apartment ever

it would probably be like a medium size ya know

white walls.

lots of white walls.

and there would be like really pretty marble countertops

her beadspread (or whateverthefuck u call it) would probably be like grey with white little lines on it

in a pattern tho

like a cute pottery barn one

she would so freaking use evan’s discount at pottery barn are u kidding me

like her entire house would look like a pottery barn catalog

anyway

idk if all apartments have this so excuse me if i sound mega stupif

but she would use the little intercom-buzzer thing to get into the apartment to her full advantage

like if u wanted to even go up there she would legit do a full on background check

(except for zoe)

(zoe would be like “hey alana it’s-” and alana would be like “yOU CAN COME RIGHT UP”

but it would be like

“hello who is this?”

“alana you know it’s jared. i just texted you.”

“… ok then what’s your middle name”

“aLANA”

but anyway back to what inspired this in the first place

so alana would SO plan her apartment out from when she was like young enough to understand it ya get it

like she would pick out furniture at age six

(her taste would obviously change as she got older but u get it)

and she would literally have it down to the p a i n t color

like she would walk into home depot or whatever and the worker would expect her to look around for like 40 minutes but she’d be like

“hi hello i’ll take seashell grey in the gloss finish please. make it quick.”

(i totally just made that up what the hell is a gloss finish never heard of her)

i also picture her having lots of house plants? like most of them would be fake bc she’s too busy to keep them alive but they wouldn’t look fake

yeah alana’s apartmetnt would be so put together and like clean cut and nice

zoe:

her apartment would be rad okay

i feel like it would be v hipster and cool

not like Hipster™ but like… hipster?

what am i even saying

okay

so she would definetley have a room with yellow walls

like her rooms would be painted cool colors and stuff

but yellow specifically

she just seems like a yellow person

she would have a big wall that’s all chalkboard paint

wait now im really excited about this wall oh my god

like when everyone would go over her house they would all take a chalkboard marker (real chalk makes too much of a mess) and write and draw on it

evan would do little doodles of trees and write sweet and encouraging stuff

connor would either draw a hecking masterpiece or write really small in the corner “fuk u”

there’s no in between

alana would just doodle hearts and stuff

or when she’d be over doing homework w zoe she’d try to teach her math and science and stuff on it

a w

jared would just draw memes

i think we can all agree on that one

but annyyywwayy

she would refuse to get anything like store bought mainstream

like she would go to little shops in the middle of nowhere

or garage sales

and get the cutest stuff

her house would be so homey but at the same time like “wtf why is this so perfect”

l o t s of tapestries

don’t fight me on this

it wouldn’t be the regular mendala ones that a lot of people get

(but she would for sure have a few of those too)

it would be like really cool unique stuff

lots of maps of the world

tie dye

ya kniw

they would mostly be taking up all of the celing space and some wall space in her room

she would so have a polaroid camera i KNOW IT

and she would put them all on pieces of string w clothespins and string them up around her room

all pics of her frands and stuff

awwww zoe

she’d also probably have a room just for her dog

(btw if u didn’t see my other hc i see her as having a golden retriever named kiwi)

(but anyway)

like it was supposed to be a closet sbut she just didn’t use it

so she was like “well… okay let’s do this”

and evan will spend h o u r s at a time in that room

ugh she would just have the cutest apartment v colorful and stuff

evan:

evan’s apartment would be v small

he llved with his mom the first two years of college but decided to move out because he was feeling like he made a lot of progress and was ready to live on his own (btw is it canon tht he lives w his mom first year of college? i forget lmk)

(but he wasn’t really living on his own bc connor was always over or he was at connor’s place)

he would have a v little sitting area w a really old tv and a worn out couch that was probably free on the side of the road or cheap from a garage sale

he would have a fridge and oven and stuff but he’d mostly just use the microwave

(ho;ly shit “some people say just use a microwave…”)

(i h8 myself why why why ok moving on)

his diet would mainly consist of ramen noodles

bc he doesn’t want to leave and have to socalize with people at fast food places or the grocery store

but every once and a while zoe would come over like “evan wtf” and make him food to hold him over for a while

(uh hc that zoe’s a really good cook??/)

he would have a little bedroom with a big window in it

and his comforter would be blue with navy stripes (similar to The Shirt™ but not completley the same)

he would have lots of sticky notes everywhere

like ranging from “don’t forget to feed the dog” to “don’t worry about it, it’s probably not a big deal”

and when he was in a really good mental state he would write them and stick them in places he know he’d see when he wasn’t in the best shape

and it would encourage him to keep going

wow that’s equally heartbreaking and adorable

ok don’t fight me on this we all know it’s a thing

he would have plants. eve ry wh ere

like there wouldn’t be a single fake plant in there

but he loved them bc he felt like it made the air fresher??? like it supplied more oxygen in the room which made it easier to breathe when he was feeling anxious??

(idk i can’t really explain it but that’s how i feel when i get anxious so i feel like it would help him too)

but it would range from huge ass borderline trees to succlents the size of his thumb nail

he would have s o many succulents

he would name them all

aaaaaaaAaAAAA

and each of his friends would have a plant named after them

even though it was small he really loved his apartment

bc he worked really hard to be able to pay for it and buy the furniture and stuff

so it was like his baby

yeah that’s my boy evan handsoap!

connor:

connor’s apartment would actually be pretty big

like everything would be super super high quality and nice

he would so have a recliner chair

you know the one i’m talking about okay

and he would spend most of his time in there

even though he def has a huge nice sectional

(btw most of his furniture is black)

when evan would come over he wouldn’t want to get up out of it

but even always wanted to cuddle

so the first time evan was like “con come over hereee”

connor just scooched over

and evan was like “??”

but just went over to him

and they were kinda squished but they loved it

bc they were so close to eachother

AW IM SCREECHING

but yeah they would love to cuddle on the recliner

his kitchen would be p nice too

like he would have a weirdly high tech fridge and a really nice oven and stuff

but if u opened the fridge there would just be like a half dranken (that is nOT a word) bottle of mountain dew, a cheese stick, and maybe on a good day some random leftovers

(btw idk why but i see his parents buying him most of the stuff in his apartment,, this doesn’t really make sense when i think about it but i can’t not do it what am i saing now awioehfdlsnk)

his room would be nice

he would have a big bed with a black and white plaid duvet cover

omg evan would l o v e his bed

like evan of course loves his own bed but connor’s is just so comfy

(plus connor’s bed also has connor)

(anywho)

his walls would be like a greyish blue color

but his furniture would still be all black

he would have a big desk and he always kept sticky notes around for evan to doodle on if he ever got anxious

and he has an entire drawer in his dresser just for his hair ties because he has an unhealthy amount of them

at all times

partly because he wants to keep his hair up sometimes

but partly because he always wears one around his wrist to snap when he gets mad or can’t control his emotions

and he always ends up loosing them

oh also his shower in his bathroom would be BOMB like im talking it has one of those little ledge chair thingies

and the water pressure is a plus

and evan’s shower at his apartment is like sucky so he always just showers at connors

(i mean this in the least innapropriate way possible btw jus clearing that up)

but connor would spend SO much time there

so would evan tbh

so yeh

jared:

ok guys

hear me out on this one

but i feel like jared would have a surprisingly nice apartment??

like,,, actually very nice

they would all love hanging out there when they were all together

the first time he asked them over they were like “… u sure”

they were expecting to walk into something that looked like a super crappy hotel room with garbage all over

but they walked in and were like “jared what the fuk”

because this place was nice

like,, , he would always have the most food out of all of them

(which wasn’t saying much but still)

he would have a big nice couch with lots of extra like beanbags all over

they would all have their own that they used

and his tv would be poppin okay

he would have his old wii hooked up to it

and they would constantly have mario kart tournaments

jared always insisted on being wario

for the Memes™

he would be the only one out of all of them with an amazon fire stick so they would always watch movies all together at his house

and sometimes they would just randomly take it without telling him

(i’m looking at u connor)

and he wouldn’t notice for a few days but when he did he went cRAZY

but anyway

his room would b supa cool

he would have a really nice bed

omg he would have like video game and other nerd stuff posters e v e r y w h e r e

like everywhere

little to no wall space for anything elsee

every once in a while he would go through his camera roll and print the pictures that he liked the best to hang up on his wall

hear me out bc this is gonna sound weird

he would probably have a dead meme shrine in one of the corners of the wall on the bottom

that he started as a joke with connor and zoe once but it jst spiraled out of control until every dead meme was recognized as soon as it went out

he would have a tv in his room

not as good as his one in the living room but still

he has two tvs what even jared

that’s where he would put his xbox

and he would game all night man

ah i love jared sm

ok that’s it hope u enjoyed ahhahah

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hibiscusangel15 · 7 years ago

Text

Irony

So the new ML episodes have completely revived my love for the show (and the ridiculous Love Square antics). The last episode (the one with Prime Queen), strangely enough, gave me some strong To/becky vibes that just reminded me why I love both WG and ML, and I needed to express these overwhelming feels somehow, so...here’s this thing.

Based off the ideas put forth by @pi-romantic‘s “The Definition of Miraculous” AU fanfic, which I’ll link here:

Chapter One

Chapter Two

Chapter Three

My fic under the cut, yo.

Something changed the day she kissed Chat Noir.

At the time, it didn't seem like a big deal. She had no other way of saving him from Dark Cupid's spell, and she needed him to help her capture the akuma. She was just lucky he didn't remember it.

But, oh, she did. The feeling of his lips pressing onto hers, stiff with surprise at first, then slowly, painfully melting into a soft acceptance that never left her. She was plagued by it, this warm, annoying feeling. It buzzed around her constantly, like gnats in the summer.

Becky hadn't even realized what about the kiss bothered her so much until, on their next routine patrol, he gave her his trademark cat-like smirk, and she knew.

And boy, did she fall.

Literally. She was so shocked that she slipped off the edge of the roof and nearly plummeted to the city pavement. That is, until Chat Noir, ever the hero, jumped after her without a second thought and scooped her up in his arms. Well, one strong arm. He clung to his staff with the other.

Not that it mattered. It was enough.

“Are you alright, my lady?” he asked, his voice shaken with alarm.

She didn't dare look up for fear he would see her blushing face, her too bright eyes swimming in her fully realized feelings for her partner.

Her heart thudded wildly against her chest. She hoped he would just chalk it up to her being startled at the fall.

And what a spectacular fall it was.

“Fine,” she managed to get out as he set her down on the street below. “Just fine.”

After a day or two of back-and-forth debate between herself, she decided it would be best to accept her feelings wholeheartedly. Maybe it was the mask, or maybe it was Tikki and Bob's joint encouragement at the idea, but she found it much easier to flirt with him in between battles now.

Of course, she didn't start with anything too major. Just some friendly, perhaps overly friendly depending on how one looked at it, banter that garnered that charming grin from her partner she came to adore.

Naturally, this evolved into her leaning closer into his personal space, and eventually scrounging for excuses to hold his hand on patrols.

She didn't know what he really thought of all this, but he played along with it, tacking on flirtatious winks and practically purring pet names to her.

My lady. My darling. My dear. Each and every endearment made her heart swell, and she held onto the hope that maybe, just maybe, he could return her feelings someday.

Becky sighed in the middle of her Chemistry lecture. She supposed her teacher was explaining what lab they would be doing tomorrow, but she just couldn't concentrate.

She began doodling a rather crude-looking caricature of her partner in the margins of her notebook and smiled at it, satisfied with her work.

“Is that supposed to be Chat Noir?” an altogether different partner asked all of a sudden.

Becky sat up straight in her chair, instinctively covering the doodle with her hand. Tobey McCallister hid an entertained grin behind his hand. Becky might have even found the grin familiar had she not been so flustered at being discovered.

“Wha-?! Chat Noir? Of course not! It's just...uh....”

He slipped her notebook right from under her to get a better look at it. “Oh, this is most definitely him,” Tobey mused, and his grin grew. “Though your artwork leaves a lot to be desired.”

She practically lunged across the lab station, her eyes focused solely on her notebook.

He caught her wrist so fast that she almost didn't see it.

Tobey sucked in a breath. Curse my cat-like reflexes....

He let go of her almost immediately and cleared his throat. “Yes, well, here.” He handed the notebook back, all the while avoiding her gaze.

She threw him a suspicious glare as she snatched it and held it to her chest.

“So...you have a crush on Chat Noir then, do you?” His question sliced through the silence like a paper cut.

Her sputtering denials did not match the absolute redness that flew to her cheeks, and at this, he smirked.

“Oh, this is poetic justice at its finest,” he said, leaning his head against a hand. “All these years you've been making fun of me for having a crush on a superhero, and then you go off and do the same! It seems as if the shoe is on the other foot now.” A hint of incredulous laughter paraded in his voice.

Becky glanced down at her misshapen doodle and scowled. He had defeated her, and she knew it. No use denying the obvious.

At this point, he began to feel a little bad for her. He knew from experience that crushing on a superhero was terribly difficult. It was worse than crushing on a celebrity, really.

“Not that that's a bad thing, mind you,” he added as he looked out the window. He saw her glance back up at him out of the corner of his eye. “I mean, he is pretty cool, after all.”

Her blush only became more pronounced. “...Be quiet,” she said at last, slapping her hands over her face. Thankfully, the bell rang in the next moment and Becky found her chance to escape.

It didn't hit him until she left.

Becky Botsford had a crush on Chat Noir.

...He was Chat Noir.

As in Becky Botsford was crushing on him and wasn't even aware of it.

Tobey had to laugh at the ridiculous irony of it all. Not only did Becky fall in love with a superhero, but that superhero just had to be him? Of course, with all the potential crushes she was apt to have, his alter ego was not a bad choice.

He couldn't help the Cheshire-like grin tugging at the corners of his mouth as he walked to his next class.

Once she was sure no one was around, Tikki poked her head out of the little pocket in her bag meant to hold her and asked, “You okay, Becky?”

“Stupid Tobey...” Becky grumbled as a response. “He's got no right to make fun of me. He's the one in love with me and doesn't even know it. I mean, how ironic can you get?”

“What do you like about Chat Noir?” Tobey asked the next day. They were waiting for a beaker of water to boil, so he figured now was as good a time as any.

Her face grew pink immediately. “Not this again.”

“I won't make fun of you.”

She threw him a doubtful look.

“Okay, I might tease you a little. But I promise, nothing hurtful.”

Coming from Tobey, this was a huge deal. Not a lot of people trusted him after his akuma days, but Becky was one of those kind few who managed to.

Her eyes began to fog up with wistfulness.

After the water came to a good boil, Becky finally answered, “...He's funny.”

He gaped at her. “That's it?”

She sent him a glare so seething, it rivaled the ones his mother used to give him back in his villainous prime.

“No,” she emphasized, tugging her hair in front of her face in a vain attempt to hide her blushing face. “...He's incredibly cute. And I like how kind he is. Not just because he's a superhero, mind you, but....” She sighed. “There's this gentleness about him. Sure he'll tease you and everything, but he knows where his limits are, and he respects them.”

When he began to snicker, she snapped, “Which is more than I can say for you.” She crossed her arms in a huff and turned away.

Tobey was completely taken aback. Was the disparity between his secret identity and alter ego really that huge? Here Becky was, practically confessing her love to him, all the while hating him at the same time. It was absolutely ludicrous.

He cleared his throat. “I could say the same about Ladybug,” he began, already regretting it.

She looked back at him, her eyebrows raised.

Tobey's eyes flickered to the window. “I also admire her spirit. She's just so radiant all the time. She's so full of life and loves every second of it. It's all I can do to try and keep up with that spirit.”

His sigh brought him down to Earth again. “Which is more than I can say for you, Becky Botsford.” He shot her words right back at her. “Why, you don't shine in the slightest.”

How can he manage to insult me and so fervently compliment me in the same breath? she thought with an incredulous smirk.

“Yeah, well, you're no Chat Noir, McCallister,” Becky said aloud. The water had come to a good boil, so she shut the Bunsen burner off. “Good luck on finding someone who could tolerate that biting sarcasm of yours.”

“I don't need your luck, Botsford,” Tobey sniffed. He snapped a pair of goggles over his regular glasses. “Nothing could be so lucky as my Ladybug.”

The two bent their heads over their work and tried their best not to smile at the other's confession.

Oh, the irony of it all.

aefdi;ojafjio;f;jfe;kjs The Love Square makes me scream. Especially in this AU oh my GOD. Just the ideas alone slay me.

I know I have my other fics to write still, but hoooo boy, I haven’t had such strong feels or had fun writing in a long time, let me have this. Even if it’s a fanfic of a fanfic, lol.

Thanks again @pi-romantic for letting me butcher write stuff based off your fic, lmao.

Okay, but seriously, if you haven’t checked out “The Definition of Miraculous”, you’re missing out. Go do iiiiit.

#im scream #also I'm sorry but also not sorry for this lol #my fanfiction #The Definition of Miraculous #AU #WG #ML

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nastymomcomic · 8 years ago

Text

Totally sort of on hiatus, but WAIT

I left off on a note that I wasn’t doing good. So here’s what’s up. I quit my job that I hated and that hated me and it was killing me going there. Honestly the entire experience there could be a comic in of itself. I started changing almost instantly after starting there and my SO brought that to my attention close to when I decided to quit. My anxiety was through the roof, I was getting physically ill from it. It’s been about three months since I quit and I actually feel much better than I did.

The decision to quit came around the end of Christmas season (aka retail hell), my stress level hit it’s max. With work and with how things are at home, I became suicidal and started breaking my things instead of hurting myself. (On a side note I discovered I have a deep raspy yelling voice that would be perfect for an anime character)

(This is kind of long so I’ll put one of those read more thingies)

I talked with my SO about it and I agreed to quit the job, get back on my anxiety medication , and get back into steady therapy. (I was given a new counselor and hadn’t been able to make it to therapy because of work.) Shortly after I started becoming viciously sick around my period, turns out I just have extremely bad pms to the point ai throw up and become Dr. Jekyll Mr. Hyde. It is horrible. I didn’t figure it was my period until recently though, for a while I thought I was bipolar or had the flu, even pregnant. Nope, it was just pms. I had no idea how common that is for women until it happened to me.

With the job, I had a lady curse me out because I had to charge her for 10 cent bag that she wanted a giant barrel of pretzels put into, which didn’t fit anyway. That wasn’t even my worst customer by far, but it’s definitely my favorite story to tell. (There will definitely be an episode about that bitch.) I hurt my wrist the first month I worked there and my supervisor never made a report refused to report it, so I wasn’t seen by their doctor, and none of my managers or coworkers were notified of my injury, so my workload and tasks weren’t changed. I went to the my doctor before quitting so I’d have the injury on record, he found it was a sprained wrist, and told me it wouldn’t heal because I’d been using it too much. (Which is why work is supposed to fucking change your work tasks when you have a fucking work related injury.) This same supervisor looked me up and down with the fucking stink eye during my interview and I knew she was going to be a problem, and I wasn’t wrong.

I spent a good two months trying to figure out exactly how to report that my workplace refused to make report for my injury, but at the end of it I just wanted to quit and be done with all of it. This lady had definitely been acting like that way before I worked there, there’s no way the company or at least the other managers weren’t aware of what she does. As much as I would like to get her fired for being a gigantic asshole, it’s not my job to babysit women in their damn 50’s. And she definitely wasn’t the only deciding factor. Besides the shitty customers treating me like shit on a daily basis, I only had a handful of coworkers who were my saving grace there. They were awesome to work with and I genuinely looked forward to seeing them. But when they weren’t there, my calls would get ignored by my coworkers and managers, I’d find them all chilling out in the office, customers would be left waiting for over 30 minutes because no one wanted to answer me, it was just ridiculous. I could go on and on but I think my final straw was being told by a manager that I needed to “stop doodling” while at the register…. like fucking when??? I asked for clarification or a date on when I’d done such a thing and said manager refused to explain or anything.

I mean, that and when I changed my availability for health reasons. I was working full shifts and 4 days out of the week during peek Christmas season, and changed my availability to just one day a week. Car broke down and you know, I was suicidal and loosing my mind. I made sure to change my availability only after peek was over, but gave management a heads up so they had time to fill shifts. Shit supervisor was the one I had to talk to about it first and she said ‘You’re kidding me, you’re changing your availability during peek?” And I’d had enough of her shit so I sad=id back “No I’m changing it after peek next week, but I’m doing the considerate thing and notifying people now.”

Fucking bitch. Like wow I wrote it was for medical reasons, thank you so much for your fucking concern.

The ironic part was they said I was doing absolutely great, but I’d stopped giving all my fucks over a month ago and started half assing my job like the people who got all the credit for slacking off while others and myself did circles around them. Now that I stopped doing my job well, they liked me? lmfao hwwaaaaat? When I was busting my ass I was always told I was “straggling” and needed to do better. I just… how does that even work? forget it, I don’t work there anymore, it’s not my problem. I quit without giving two weeks notice. I wrote my resignation letter before my shift, and when my shift was done I quit on the spot. Shitty supervisor never looked happier. (lol I bet)

It was weird, that place had fast turnover, but also had people who had been working there for ears. (Shit supervisor had been working there 17+ years) And now I totally get why.

The minute I walked out of the break room knowing I never had to work there again, I felt a giant weight lifted from my entire body. It was absolutely amazing. Thing is, me not having that job doesn’t even make a dent in my income because it was so far away, it had shitty hours, and I was spending so much money on gas to get there. It was absolutely pointless. Now I can focus on things that actually benefit me and build my future.

So I’m back in therapy back on my meds, not having the life drained out of me, and Nmom has been in therapy for like 5 months now and she’s starting to actually be normal, it’s like she’s learning to manager her emotions or something. I don’t trust it, but it makes things a lot easier and I’ll take the quiet while I can get it. Bad news is my grandpa is in the hospital right now, he nearly died, had to have a pacemaker out in him. It’s been a big ordeal but it could be worse. SO things are changing for me again, someone has to be there for him and it’s actually going to be me and Nmom seeing as no one else will. Things are a bit up in the air but I know it could of been worse so I’m just thankful.

My SO is going to be moving soon to his own place and I’ll be living with him half of the week and the rest of the week with my mom and probably with my grandpa when he finally comes home. Honestly I am scared, but I’m also determined. I decided to go back to school, pay off bills, invest in things I need to do, and get back to what I love or I think my soul will die if I don’t.

The comic nasty mom will be back soon, and eventually, it will have to end as well. I’ve found that I tend to reopen wounds through my muse, so i need to find a way to really really, really make this comic for myself. I also tend to care about others more than myself, even in my art. I haven’t really been doing this comic for myself at all, I think I’ve been doing it for others more than for myself. And I need to change that. I’m glad my comic has been able to make others smile and laugh, and it definitely will continue to. But I need to change how I approach my art and life if I want to start taking care of myself seriously.

For now I’m going to start getting my feet wet again with my art and buy a new scanner because mine broke like 4 months ago, and the bastard gave me a bruise last week on my foot. (printers are evil!!!!) There will definitely be a lot of drawings and work sketches to show, so that’s good.

I just got on birth control last week and I’m starting to feel some of the changes and stuff. I’m taking care of my body and hopefully my pms doesn’t make me go crazy. Last week I cried because my SO bought me french fries, and an hour before that I wanted to throw my iced coffee at people because Starbucks mad it wring and I was already nauseated and I got more nauseated because there wasn’t enough creme…. yeah, I’m a mess ahahahah.

I’m doing a lot of soul searching for sure right now, but I’ll be back soon! And with more art! And possibly another comic for when this comic finishes! (Shhhh that part is a secret!)

Until next time, I’ll always reply to comments, and I have a ask box on my tumblr as well. I have tumblr and instagram so that should keep readers and friends a little entertained while I’m away!

#fuck retail #lel

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