#dontevenreadthis

[drowninsuzapalooza]

Spent too many hours with human contact today.

I brought it on myself.

Always do.

Ask and shall receive.

Probably need to find a way to fit snacks into my life when I decide to work all day.

Today made me realize how much eating food can change my attitude. Not sure why this took 29 years of life for me to figure out but looks like I’ll be working on it.

People talk and people say so much without ever saying a word...but their body will tell everything you need to know.

Besides that.

I have this thing about me where I don’t really enjoy “being mean” to others. I don’t like to call people out of their names. I don’t like angry, unnecessary confrontation because I don’t find amusement in talking down to another person or purposely hurting someone else’s feelings. I try my best not to talk bad about others. I try not to get angry because of what someone else says. It’s a trained thought to know that another being should never be able to have any power over the thoughts I have or the actions I make and this is where I fail. I allow other’s actions to somehow filter through any barrier I have and in turn show a side of myself that I’m not at all proud of. I want to be the person that can smile proudly and know I did the best that I could do no matter what I was given to do it with. I want to know that my job is done at the end of the day and I can go home and start fresh tomorrow. Every day is a new day and I want to treat them as such. I lack greatly in holding my self accountable for my own actions. Discipline, who’s she? I haven’t known her for a while now. Certainly can’t find it in another person if I can’t give it to myself. And as always... People who give the greatest advice often are the ones failing to listen to their own words and it’s past time for me to get my shit together.

“But don’t let my problems distract me so much dealing with them, I forget my mission.”

[morganandrea-blog]

Thinking about all I’m thankful for and man is there a lot. Since last thanksgiving my life has totally changed and it’s been a wild and amazing ride. I can’t thank the Can’t Swim family enough for all of the opportunities over the year and I’m also beyond thankful for my family, friends, and @_airwrecka_23_ who support me and take care of my broke ass while I take on these journeys. HAPPY THANKSGIVING EVERYONE!!Oh and I’m also v thankful for @mikebrownv1 for taking Instagram pics for me and in return I took Gram worthy pics of him on tour. Everyone needs a friend like that. (He’s an amazing friend aside from gram pics just sayin) Thanks for the pic my friend 🍁🍂❤️#thanksgivingpost #sappyshit #lameasfuck #dontevenreadthis #bye

[lxvxd]

It was last year when everything bad began to happen & although 2016 has had its ups and downs so far, i am beyond thankful for the memories and happiness that I've found this year. I've already felt more content and happy this year than I did at all during 2015. I'm so grateful to have healthy family and friends, because all that matters is that the people I love are okay. I'm getting there woo!!!

[lk692-blog]

Electricity

(Right already I can feel that this post is going to come across as weird, possibly cliché and generally a bit odd but bear with me, it's late and I need to get this out) I have never truly understood the meaning of the phrase 'sexual tension' until today. It's like static electricity. You feel it humming across your skin and in the air between you and whoever the other person is. And when you touch it's like a shock, right across your skin, a tingle tingle tingle and then ZAP. And suddenly you have nerve endings where you never thought possible. And something as simple as them touching your face while looking into your eyes suddenly feels like so much more than the simple thing it is. God I do not understand one second of this. What's worrying me is the trust. I trust him too much. It's too goddamn normal, that's the problem. Well as normal as I get. Somehow I feel like there's a part of me that's been (fuck this is pretentious) awoken by this. I've never before had a physical relationship with someone I trusted like this, and certainly not a man. It makes it hotter. More... Primal. I don't feel vulnerable and I should. I feel... Different. I think the word is happy. Safe. I definitely wasn't a virgin before I fucked him but I'm even less of one now. But somehow I still feel I'm being hugely naive and there's a massive storm from my own head about to explode and shatter me to pieces. And somehow what worries me is I'm okay with that. Like I can cope with it now. But what am I scared of? What is there to go wrong? Nothing. So why can't I stop thinking about it? He's wormed himself into my brain and I don't understand how or why. But I think I like it. (Starts humming Pulled cos it feels accurate for how I feel)

[ilovedrumcorpsok]

Passed up sex today to retake a test, Priorities folks.

[chachkkki]

I AM SO HAPPY RIGHT NOW I CANT EVEN?!!??111?!

[tasminmarie]

3:47 am

I laid here for 3 hours,  guess I'll shower now.

[luuciddreamm-blog]

I'm happy. I am.

But I can't help but feeling fraile still.  It's that ache that you being gone gives me once & awhile. The feeling that people will always be there isn't there anymore. I haven't thought about you in days though. I never thought that would happen, You know? I like it. I like it so much. That you don't posess my brain with your mindless rambles about how I was ugly & horrible. & it's just.. Happy.  Being okay with being alone in so many ways. I have so many friends, I wish you could see. I wish you could see how many times a day that I laugh, Smile. & none of it is because of you. I thank you though, For one thing. You taught me that, Things get better. After you think that you're at the bottom of the earth, Like you live in the pit of acid in your stomach. & You always think that you're going to be stuck, Just thinking the same thoughts over & over again.  But I'm... I'm not there anymore.  I see this.. Brightness. This future. This.. Happy. I see happy for myself. & I haven't seen that in a long time. & You know what? I'm excited about it.