#dont want your sympathy just your company

[iamnotlookingidonotseeit]

sometimes the notes app ain't it, u have to do vent posts where no one will see it

[indigo6f00ff]

toontown drama on the timeline. What

[ram-bles]

HELLOOOO

I got a silly little ask, just a drabble from you would be fine 😁

Like- the reader (gender neutral) wasn't very open about their hobbies and such. One of their hobbies was like martial arts or smth (THIS IS VERY CRUCIAL ☝️☝️☝️)

Wellll, one day Jimmy (🤮) decided to try and touch the reader inappropriately and they just throw him over their shoulder saying something along the lines of "Do NOT touch me."

I KNOW IT'S CRINGE BUT PLEASEEEE, IT WOULD BE SO FUNNY 🙏🙏🙏🙏

I saw you're writing for only Curly and Daisuke, but if you wanna you can add other characters into the mix. It's all platonic, just a silly little ask cuz I wanna laugh 😁😁😁

[ Tulpar Crew & Reader ]

Oh I love this one. Also this reminded me to update my list thank u 4 unintentionally reminding me anon.,.,. ALSO DONT WORRY I DONT THINK IT'S CRINGE !

gender neutral reader, it gets silly later on i promise. not proof-read. wrote this really quick.

⚠️ tw: stalking, jimmy being a little too forward and close

The day was pretty much mundane, like always. Everyone was in their designated work stations, including you of course. Though, something felt off. It had been like this for the past week, and you hated it. You even blamed your lack of sleep for it. It seemed like there was something— someone, watching and following you when you were alone.

One time, you'd even woken up to the sound of your quarter's door closing. You stayed up all night, not wanting to inconvenience the other crew members for what you think might just be all in your head. Well, that is until psych evaluation day came and you opened up about this to Anya who so easily believed you, but seemed so uncomfortable with the topic. You decided not to pry out of respect. She offers her company when you need it.

That same night, Daisuke offered to host a game session to which everyone reluctantly agreed to.

Establishing good bonds between workers is key to an efficient working environment!

Anya, Swansea and Daisuke were sitting by the sofa, Curly dragged a chair just beside the game table, whilst you and Jimmy sat beside each other on the floor. The game involved four players and the crew decided that whoever loses first has to swap with whoever hasn't played yet for the next rounds. The game was getting heated, Daisuke and Anya, neck on neck. Unfortunately, not the only thing neck on neck. Everyone else was too focused on the game to even notice what Jimmy was doing. You can feel his breath against your skin. You eyed the others in hopes that they would see. Too busy. Annoyed and grossed out, you elbowed his ribs in warning, glaring at him. "Jimmy, don't touch me." He seems pissed, but that doesn't deter him from getting his entertainment. Jimmy presses on and you swear you felt your eyebrows twitch. The balls of this guy to even do this here.

Daisuke throws the dice, the three leans in in anticipation as they watch it slowly roll to a stop and—

CRASH!

Some game pieces flew in different directions, two table legs snapping from the force and Jimmy's weight. It was radio silent for a moment. The crew having different variations of shocked expressions. You had grabbed his arm and flipped his body onto the furniture.

"Fuckin' pervert. Are you deaf, or what? I said do NOT touch me."

Daisuke threw his hands up in the air and settled it on each side of his head, frustrated. "Oh, come on, man! I was so close to winni—!" His whining ceases when Swansea nudges him, instantly shutting up and processing what had just happened. It took a few blinks for him to register and he eventually bursts out laughing and pointing at Jimmy. It took everything from Swansea not to burst out laughing as well. Instead, he crosses his arms and huffs with a proud smile. 'Atta' kid.'

Anya on the other hand slips out a gasp, covering her mouth. Mostly out of shock, and no sympathy for the man whatsoever. When the other intern started laughing, she had to bite her lip and look away to suppress her own fit.

[ History of glenohumeral joint subluxation.

It happened way too fast for Jimmy to even process what just happened. He spits out something hard, probably a tooth. His shoulder slightly stings as well, probably dislocated. He'll get back at you some other time, he can't get back at you when everyone else is here and that pisses him off even more.

Curly had mixed feelings. But of course, he prioritizes his role and he has to mediate everything first and foremost. Rubbing his face, he sighs and stands up, putting his hands on his hips. He calls your name and you tilted your head to look up at him. "I have to discuss... this with you later on. Please drop by the cockpit, yeah?" You roll your eyes and nod, pouting. "Swansea, could we borrow your intern real quick?"

"Shift's over, go ahead."

He gives the eldest a nod. "Daisuke, please assist Anya. Help her bring Jimmy to medical."

"Youuuuu got it, Big C." He finger guns towards the captain then stands up to hover over the co-pilot. Curly could only give Daisuke an awkward smile at the nickname.

"Never call him that again."

"El Capitano." Daisuke helps Jimmy up, making sure he's pulling them up by the injured arm, making the man grit his teeth and groan in pain. Before the guy could even cuss at the intern, Swansea continued bickering.

"Do your damn job."

"Yessir. Swansir."

Anya and Daisuke finally went off the bring the poor injured co-pilot to treat him. And if you'd like to know, Anya taught Daisuke how to pull Jimmy's shoulder back to place. Yes, everyone heard him when it happened.

You helped Swansea clean up the mess by the lounge and in apology, offered to help repair the table the next day. He agrees and even offers Daisuke to assist you.

Curly had to lightly reprimand you for your actions, but you'd explained to him what happened. The best he could do for you for now is lie on the report.

Sustained through occupational accident.

Employee confirmed inebriated while working.

Property damage docked to Jimmy.]

[girlbeatings]

BUSINESS IS BUSINESS .

abuse of power / manipulation. noncon ? misogyny. masturbation. voyeurism. degrading. c.ai

you dont know why your boss decided to send you on this trip— sure, you were qualified and perfectly capable, but everyone knew not to go to the lanes alone.

and yet, you continue walking with your gaze adverted to your feet, making sure you had a good grip on your bag as you navigate through the ratty alleyways to the warehouse.

you had already been cat called and wolf whistled at, but you keep on your track and hope none of them decide to follow you on your journey.

luckily, you arrive at the large building before you can find out.

the two women are.. intimidating, to say the least. both of them were tall, muscular, stupidly rich and egotistical. you'd worked with these kinds of businesspeople before, so it wasn't anything new— mostly you got men that would flaunt and flirt until the deal was done.

you thought they would be a little different, considering they were also women. you should know by now not to assume in this work.

"pretty thing like you shouldn't be wondering around down here," the oldest woman, sevika, chuckles while smoking a cigar. neither of them had gotten up to greet you when you walked into the meeting room, they didn't really look up either.

at least the secretary was nice...

the meeting was... awkward— for you, anyway. the two barely payed attention, shared looks after you spoke which made you gradually more self conscious, there was no note taking or even a nod to signal you were being understood. at least the men pretended to listen.

"i think we've heard enough, pretty," abby sighs, leaning back in her chair. she looked a little softer than sevika, still with a similar build and height, but she wasn't. and yeah—pretty. you're sure you told them your name, but both decided to give you nicknames instead.

at this point, you're irritated and frustrated. you want to leave and go home... wait, you can't. you're stuck in a hotel until tomorrow. on the bright side, it couldn't get any worse.

"you drive an... okay bargain, i'll give you that." the blonde shrugs, once again, glancing over at sevika. they seem to communicate telepathically, probably having spent way too much time together while scheming and scamming customers and business partners. its a good bonding activity, apparently.

she sucks air through her teeth mockingly, folding her buff arms over her chest. "but... we're not convinced. you either need to work on your marketing skills, or whatever bullshit company you're slaving for just isn't as good as you think it is, sweetheart. sorry to be the bearer of bad news."

your shoulders drop. you had been informed that after the hiccup with the last meeting, you were on thin ice— this trip was your chance to prove you weren't 'completely useless.'

"maybe you're in the wrong profession," sevika adds, neither of them having any sympathy for how your faux, determined demeanour suddenly drops. "you'd probably make more stood on the corner in a short dress anyway."

low blow... you frown, eyebrows knitting together.

"she'd look prettier there too."

the two snicker, sevika shaking her head and taking another drag of her cigar before stumping it out on the ashtray. you feel insulted, defeated— speechless. you can't believe these two women had such a lack of empathy and morality to say these things, let alone to your face.

"don't frown, princess," abby chuckles, finally grabbing the folder you had gently slid across the table to them earlier, which they ignored. "the wind'll change and it'll stay that way."

you watch as she flicks through the binder, her face unimpressed. you're upset, not even caring what she thinks— actually, that's a lie. you have to if you want to keep your job and not.. well... end up on the corner in a short dress to pay rent— not to mention, majority of that money would go to your pimp. god... where would you even find a pimp?

you're stressing about it already.

sevika seems to catch on that you're upset and discouraged, knowing damn well that her words had weaselled into you and had already started picking through your self worth. her gray eyes don't soften, but they roll and glances over at abby as the younger woman smacks the binder shut and lets it slap on the table.

"let's make a deal, hm?" sevika starts, resting an arm on the table and taking a good look at you. "since we're feeling generous... you convince us, right here, right now, and it's settled."

you frown, shifting in your seat. "i already tried."

sevika clicks her tongue, "we don't wanna listen to you dick ride your company, and you're stupider than you look if you think we're gonna sit here and look through your pretty little folder to read the same shit in different fonts... so,"

she barely gives you any time to process the demeaning words before sliding the folder back across the desk to you, the plastic cover ramming into your boobs. "convince us, or get out."

you shake your head in confusion, awkwardly holding the folder and tapping your fingers against it. "h-how am i supposed to.. convince you?"

abby groans at your cluelessness, rubbing a hand over her face. "girls like you don't have a lot going for them, right?"

you almost nod in agreement at the tone she uses, your face scrunching together instead.

"right. but, you all have one thing people want. one thing that'll get you anywhere in the world."

you're still confused, her words making you think real hard about what you have and what you don't, and then starting to worry a little about— well if you don't know, then you don't have it. meaning you've got fuck all in this world apart from a folder, hopes and dreams, and a forced smile.

sevika scoffs, shaking her head. "your pussy, baby. that thing between your legs? you know what that is?"

your cheeks flush at both the realization and vulgarity, instinctively crossing your legs. "what?"

"come on, i'm sure you've flashed it to your boss once or twice. why else would you be here?" sevika huffs, her gaze wandering over your body.

"i'm—" this is terrible. you feel your face burning with both anger and fluster as your throat closes up with embarrassment, so much so that you have to swallow and force the words out. "i'm good at my job, that's why i'm here."

"you're good at sucking dick and wearing skirts," sevika continues, really digging into your ego and image. "if you want this deal, you'll prove how badly instead of being sat there acting like a prissy little girl."

her tone is a little more biting now, still laced with mockery but more demanding. you're frozen, but actually... considering. how bad do you want this deal? how much is really on the line? they're women anyway— absolute assholes, but female.

you don't realize your hands are shaking a little until you place the folder down, shifting a little further back on the couch. you hesitate, scratching your thighs before uncrossing your legs and spreading your knees a little.

"better. you're a natural, huh?" abby mocks, nodding slowly like you were a child riding a bike and she was an encouraging caretaker.

instead, you're reluctantly pulling your skirt up and avoiding eye contact as you reveal more of your skin.

sevika lets out a low whistle before clicking her fingers— and instead of an inexperienced child on a bike, you're now a disobeying dog. "we don't have all day here. not everyone is as irrelevant as you are, girl."

your stomach churns at the words, more and more being singed into your brain probably for years. you gnaw on your bottom lip as your hands slip under your skirt to reluctantly pull down your underwear, letting them stretch around your ankles.

abby lets out an appreciative hum as your panties drop, enjoying your discomfort as your hands move to grip the edge of the couch, widening your thighs and shamefully displaying your body to the two businesswomen.

"oh, how cute." sevika coos, her gaze landing on your cunt and taking it all in. she had to admit, it was one of the cutest she and abby had seen in their years.

abby nods in agreement, twirling her pen around her thick fingers casually. "don't be so shy, come on. you gonna give us a show?"

your breath hitches at the implication, your eyes finally flickering over to both women as they stare between your thighs. "you can't be serious?"

"if you want this, you'll do it."

you did want this, you had to want this. but the mere thought of touching yourself in front of two strangers as they watch was enough to make you consider how bad living on the streets could really be.

your nails dig into the couch before you release the creased material, your legs falling open a little wider and your hand slipping between them. you breathe shakily, pressing your fingers to your clit and rubbing in slow, deliberate circles.

you're not sure what the best way around this is— would it be better to try turn yourself on so this was easier? or would that just cause more mocking and degrading? either way, your eyes squeeze shut as you let out a whimper.

abby seems pleased enough, quietly writing your name down on a piece of paper. sevika's surprised she actually bothered to listen, but she was more focused on watching you play with yourself for their benefit.

"use spit, baby, get her nice and wet." the older woman gruffs out, her hips lifting a little as she gets comfier on her desk chair.

you do as you're told, for some reason, spit now coating and stringing between your fingers as you resume rubbing. unfortunately, the wetness helps more than you want it to.

your thighs tense around your hand, your lips parting in soft pants.

a smirk creeps onto sevika's face, looking over at abby. "works every time."

abby snorts, glancing over at her business partner and then back over at you as you continue to shakily pleasure yourself, your cunt glistening with spit and something a little stickier. "you're breaking records, sweetheart. getting wet already, huh?"

you tremble a little, your moans getting caught in your throat as you circle your clit, occasionally dipping down to tease yourself further. you hate this, though it doesn't look like it, you feel disgusting and dirty as your cunt leaks with arousal.

"y'know, we could do with a new office pet. she's already drooling and whimpering," sevika comments, blatantly making fun of you.

abby smiles, her eyes locked on the way your hips squirm a little. "mhm... and she obeys, knows her place."

you whine quietly, your stomach contracting as you slip your fingers inside, your free hand holding onto the couch as you fuck them slowly in and out.

sevika hums, watching your fingers disappear inside your cunt and come back out dribbling with slick, a soft squelch being drowned out by the casual chatter between the two women.

"and all it takes is a little bit of spit to shut her up," she comments, her thick thighs spreading a little as she watches you. "isn't that right, pretty?"

you look away, ashamed, but your blood runs too hot, your face is flushed and you're resisting the urge to spread yourself open wider. you know you can't look too eager— not only was it a tactic in business, it was also a strategy to not make yourself look even more like a whore while fingering yourself in front of two strange, big women.

the palm of your hand nudges repeatedly against your clit as your pussy salivates around your fingers, your left thigh falling open just a little more so you can get a better angle, which doesn't go unnoticed.

"hm. wettest and most eager," abby muses, tapping her foot occasionally. "women like you think with their slutty cunts first, not their empty little heads. you're just as bad as a man, honey."

surely that can't be true... you've accomplished a lot without the help of your vagina, for sure. i mean, you're boobs have helped heaps but that's not the point here.

you don't think you'll have any dignity left after this anyway, clenching and throbbing around your fingers as you bite back moans and try hold off your impending orgasm.

you don't get the deal in the end, but... it's not all bad. now you have a new job.

sawry this is so short and there's more dialogue than smut whoops

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[adaine]

Hiii! I love your blog! I also read your Star Wars AU and absolutely loved it!

I was wondering if you have any other fics you’d recc? I’m new to F1 rpf so I’ll read anything.

Stay awesome!

omg thank you so much!!!! glad you liked it. imma throw the recs below the cut bc i dont know how long it’ll get. some of these are archive locked so keep in mind you may have to copy and paste links into browser so it doesn’t reroute you to the login page and then pull up some random fic. also these are all just off the top of my head ive been so shit at keeping track of my faves:

lando/oscar

casual (explicit): classic uni fwb fic except it’s actually so good. i read this overnight after watching the monza quali at my friend jenna’s place and then have been hyperfixed on f1 ever since

software instability (mature): detroit become human au ft robot oscar. literally me and jenna talk about this fic all the time the robot sex is good fine i’ll say it

forget the protocol (explicit): hockey aus are my favorite genre of fic and this one is so good im parasocially obsessed w this author’s work

where's my pride, guess i'll leave it behind (explicit, also w oscar/mark): this fic is indescribably horny but the porn is extremely good. read the tags if it doesn’t float your boat skip it

little renaissance (teen): THE future fic to me i’m actually working on a future fic rn and am excessively worried about accidentally copying it bc i love the idea of lando working at mclaren w drivers in a more admin role and am doing something similarish w that, this fic also has oscar as a pundit which is sooo good

time is the cross (mature): also a future fic but in this one lando gets outed and oscar deals w it. i love fics where they get outed lowkey lemme find the other one i like

Don't Want Your Sympathy, Just Your Company (explicit): in this one oscar gets outed and spends summer break w lando in monaco

Learned Behavior (explicit): fwb fic where lando has like a past semi toxic thing w charles (more like lando is bad at comms than anything bad toward charles)

so what are you waiting for? (it's your serve) (mature): tennis au bc well i love sports aus and it was riveting. my knowledge of tennis comes exclusively from challengers, carrie soto, and my friend’s tweets but it bangs. also this would be my bestie rey’s perfect fic if she didn’t hate lando but the universe is punishing her for not getting him like i do

the road not taken (explicit): this is an au that follows high school best friends landoscar into meeting again in their adult life, and like deals w complicated love and relationships and such. the worldbuilding in this is really good which might not make total sense when you start it bc it’s literally set in like a normal world but the author creates this universe that feels both very normal and very full

pop tart (teen): kid fic where lando has twin teenagers. the characterization is just so good to me and i love his fictional kids

Loud and Clear (teen): oscar is lando’s race engineer. started this one when there was one chap and agonized over it for weeks refreshing every day LOL

max/charles (but keep in mind i read these all a long time ago so my memory is vaguer)

sawtooth (explicit): max is carlos’ race engineer after quitting karting as a teen. charles is still an f1 driver and they still know each other

every other sunday (explicit): another outing fic this time max gets outed

the world was built for two (explicit): girl charles fic i love her sm, some egregious cheating but like what if it were fun

such murderous and vengeful desire (explicit): max’s career ended due to an injury so now he doesn’t race but he’s charles’ partner and coach. toxic and fun

george/alex

waiting for the train (explicit): breakup fic. absolutely devastating, nonlinear narrative so you get to see snippets of different stages of their relationship

ode to a conversation stuck in your throat (explicit): read this one recently it was very good. a rec from my friend rey. a little past relationship, a little friends w benefits, and a lot of when will these men actually talk

oscar/mark

the fire is slowly dying (explicit): oscar comes to stay with mark for christmas, they start having sex

though i'm a geyser (explicit): follows the development of mark and oscar having an affair. the end is a gut punch in a good way. i reread both this and the other one an embarrassing amount

logan/alex

the last thing you wanted is the first thing I'll do (I'll ruin it for you) (mature): classic vegas marriage fic where they deal with the fallout as very public figures being f1 drivers, i love logan sm

carlos/lando

fall and fixture (explicit): lando works for like a spy agency as a tech guy and carlos is a spy defecting from italy and getting protection in england, a safe house got compromised so he’s staying with lando. some of my favorite lando characterization ever hands down

[literallycalculester]

i love your calculester posts sm… your art is amazing too!! since his birthday is coming soon, do you have any personal headcanons for him? 👀

yes! tyty! i wrote down a longgggg list of them just now so here they are:

pansexual

dislikes being called "it/its" since people usually use it as an insult towards him

trans male for a couple of reasons. 1. machines do not technically start off with genders, its similar to how zoe transitioned into a girl. 2. its mentioned that he does get update cycles that are similar to menstrual cycles, implying that he isnt strictly male. even if people do typically see machines as males, it doesnt feel right to say hes strictly cisgender

asexual (in the way that he doesnt feel sexual attraction) and kinda aromantic (he desires romantic relationships but cannot feel romantic feelings. he doesnt desire sexual relationships.)

fear of rejection

loves socializing!! but gets overwhelmed real easily

not technically autistic but relates to the symptoms and makes friends with nd people more easily than nt.

also he masks a lot (ex. using emoticons as faces)

speaking of his face, he only uses emoticons to make others around him happier and more comfortable. when hes alone or with someone he trusts a lot, he'll just have a blank screen

takes care of his partner like he takes care of his plants (he likes taking care of things)

doesnt know the difference between robots and organic beings in real life situations (he can tell the difference when hes researching but if its not show directly in his face he wont know)

loves safety so much never can get enough of it

has an organicsona (he wants to be "normal" as perceived by the public)

he doesnt hate humans (though he pretends to mildly dislike them in order to fit in)

confused af when following conversations. sometimes he'll randomly join in despite him saying something irrelavant

HATES rejecting others. if you ask him out and he dont like you then he gets so sad because he hates hates hates rejecting others. being mean in the slightest brings him a ton of discomfort

love stickers. theyre like temporary tattoos.

tries not to buy from harmful companies. sometimes he doesnt know and if hes told he'll go into a mental breakdown and think hes terrible

hates those cut flowers that they have at stores. brings only potted flowers as gifts

smart with calculating and research, but anything that requires actual thinking he fails at

goes to school for the sole purpose of learning how to form relationships (he has all As except in subjects that require subjective views, like english)

loves writing on paper, has a print handwriting

technically can speak every language, as long as its popular enough to make its way into his code

extremely neat and organized

loves to clean and cook, despite not being able to taste (he is therefore terrible at it if he is using a bad recipe)

his house is futuristic almost frutiger aero but with plants absolutely everywhere

all his wires are organized and never tangled

doesnt use a phone or computer. he is the computer.

when he has no internet connection he has to rely on his memory. basically everything that can be searched up online is lost. "where is england" "cannot answer, internet is down :(" type of thing

works at a plant nursery!!!

antivirus is a vaccine for him and viruses are... well.. viruses. just like humans

2nd tallest behind scott

really strong but also kinda slow

walks everywhere. to school, to work, to the store.

this isnt really a headcanon, but unlike the games, i think that hed have significantly less features (LIKE WHY DOES HE HAVE GUNS JUST HANGING OUT IN HIS BODY??? WHERE DID THEY COME FROM?!?!)

sympathies with fake plants

likes reading! like, a lot! he reads a ton of non-fiction because he enjoys it, but he also studies fiction.

likes stray (game)

loves comfy games! (stardew, acnh)

doesnt really like horror

can heat himself up to be really warm so his partner can cuddle him

sees the development of AI as being slave labor but for robot

okay i ran out of things now. remember this are just my headcanons and this is kinda just streaming from my head so dont take it too seriously! speaking of his birthday though, i am gonna try (emphasis on try) to make something special for him. if so itll be an animation. hopefully i will succeed! but if i dont then ill post the WIP someday.

okay bye bye thank you so much for the ask!!!

[2percentsugar]

your post was funny af what did that person even mean by "considering the source". here im a trans man on t had top surgery and have bottom surgery on the way and still don't wear boxers. probably wont until after srs cause they don't fit me that great personally. it legiterally doesn't matter. wear what makes you comfortable especially underwear. those companies are preying on your insecurity, bitch!

AW thank you anon 💕 for context, this is the post they commented under. i think the tweet was by a trans woman (it looks like deirdreskye's icon, maybe that's her twitter?) and the post i drowned was written by a transmisandry truther who was. well. truthing

i am also post op several years on t and i personally love my walmart aisle boxer briefs (better than boxers or briefs check em out ppl) but you're certainly not the only person ive met who they dont fit well. hell ive met cis men who have trouble w the constant wedgies. underwear isnt gendered and the only people who will see yours are the ppl you trust the most so get what fits

i have sympathy for the baby transes who struggle w getting new clothing and want a shortcut. the first few times i went to the store for Boy Clothes, i left without any. but thats an obstacle you have to surmount, you cant just buy from queer lifestyle brands forever. i really hate the tomboyxs of the world which prey on this insecurity

[joemama-2]

WHEN I SAW THE SNEAK PEAK I KNEW IT WAS DREAMMMMM I KNEW IT WAS TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE 💔💔💔💔💔

poor Satoru dealing with the nightmare, truly sorry for him, but I can't help but be a little... amused?

I MEAN it's kinda nice to know he's struggling, too. With the leak, their connection, the future. It means the reader isn't going insane all alone lol

but it's kinda torturing too OMG I knew it was a dream, but damn that hurts. You always write the scenes so well I feel like that's my life now. I start reading the new chapter and suddenly I am a single mother taking care of the son of my ex boyfriend that is a billionaire ITS SO IMMERSIVE I LOVE YOUR WRITING ☹️

and now with the end of the chapter I just want Akane and Yamato to cut relationships with the Nakamura so Satoru is FINALLY single so he and reader can finally do the boombayah🙏/j

but I know we don't get a cheating tag for nothing SO 😈 I feel like I should feel a little bad for Himari BUT after what she said about Koji and the possibility that she doesn't even love Satoru and is only with him for the companies, I can't have much sympathy for her💔

and DO NOT GET ME STARTED ON READER CRYING OVER THE BOX WITH MEMORIES AND THEN SATORU ARRIVING 😓😓😓

He found me crying..

He crew too...

𝓦𝓮 𝓫𝓸𝓽𝓱 𝓬𝓻𝓸𝓭𝓮.

(I hope this isn't too intense or long I'm just SO GODDAMN EXCITED AND I LOVE TALKING ABOUT VELVET LIES i even talked about it with my mom and she loves it too IM SORRY FOR BAD ENGLISH TOO ANYWAY SEE YA BYE BYE KISSES LOVE UR STORIES DONT DIE💞)

I LOVE LONG ASKS LIKE THIS HAHA and OMGGG you and your mom talking about my story?????!!!!! i….i….i think im gonna……*kisses you*

and mhmmm cheating tag ain’t there for no reason teehee. but yes, i can understand why seeing satoru feels a little satisfying bc now we know reader isn’t alone. they’re just not telling each other any of this bc well, miscommunication and their own fears.

i’m really happy u feel the emotions while reading heavy scenes like that i feel them too while writing and im like ahhh 😫 but seeing reader cry over the box was 🥺🥺🥺 she can’t lose it

and lastly, YOUR ENGLISH IS PERFECT DW ❤️❤️🥰 have a great day luv bug

[thegreatimpersonator]

these friends genuinely sound very selfish to me [...]

Honestly at this point it's enough to know that I'm being unreasonable for wanting them make more of an effort. For weeks now I just kept thinking that it's unreasonable for me to expect people to make as much time for me as I have for them, because no one made me do that. And yeah, like you said, especially considering I've already made it clear that I'm not having a good time and would like to talk to them, I don't really want to have to further explain that it would be nice if I could get some sympathy and company. Like, if I have to ask for it so explicitly, again, then I don't really want it, you know? And I don't want to have to remind them that I'm always there for them just get a scrap of that back because it both feels manipulative, and like it should go without saying. Also, if I'm honest, it's really hard for me talk about these things because my family is full of emotionally selfish and/or distant people, and since I can't cut ties with them, when something like this happens with people outside my family my instinct is to just take a massive step back, if cut them off entirely. It just sucks because I've been friends with one of them for over 10 years and now that she has this shiny new life, I feel left behind, and the other one I was there for during the worst time of her life, and now that she's trying to recuperate from that she doesn't have time for me, so I feel kind of used (but at the same time I still don't want to say anything to set off her anxiety, which is basically anything). Maybe I'll say something if/when I eventually hear from them again, but for now I really appreciate you validating my feelings about them. Thank you, Sarah ♥︎♥︎♥︎

'I just kept thinking that it's unreasonable for me to expect people to make as much time for me as I have for them, no one made me do that', well no one made you do that because they shouldn't have to. that's just you being a good friend and that's what friends are for, to be there for you when you need them and that's something they have continuously not been able to do, it's the bare minimum. you repeatedly asking for the bare minimum in return is you giving them so many chances to right their wrongs and they havent, which really just hurts even more because it makes you feel like you dont deserve it but you do, you deserve friends that you dont have to beg repeatedly for them to do what should be an unspoken rule.

and it's awful that one of these friendships has lasted so long and letting it go seems too harsh, but try not to think about it as losing something that you invested so much time in, but something you had that lasted 10 great years together and if you think it's run it's course then that's that. especially if the negative feelings it's giving you outweigh the good, like them ignoring you is making you feel invalidated in your feelings or not valued as a friend. you deserve friends who make you feel content and loved and they dont seem to be giving you what they should so im sorry about that, you're welcome and i'm glad i could help 💕

[buddyhollyscurls]

I love you ysblf opinions so much. The ones about Marcela’s attitude are always just *chefs kiss* it seems like nowadays she gets a lot sympathy for being cheated on which is terrible, but for some reason people are obsessed with portraying her as The Only and Only Victim when she had very questionable behaviors: hated and sabotaged Betty since the beginning, didn’t even view her as a woman just because she was ugly and had an inferior financial status ( I have gotten jumped by so many people for pointing this out on YouTube comments 😂) Not saying she was the villain either as Betty clearly was no saint herself, in this story all the characters are flawed which makes them very human. It doesn’t help that the actress who plays her has this very same mindset that Marcela is the victim and Betty the real villain, the fact that Mario rarely, if ever, gets this treatment is bonkers to me since he is the one who concocted everything.

Also, it’s not a bad thing that your character didn’t keep a man who didn’t respect nor love her ( he couldn’t even stand her) way before Betty even came along, I don’t see the big loss about this, it’s actually the best thing that could happen to Marcela. It’s sad that she had to leave her own company, but she’s still getting her monthly checks, she’s still one of the rightful owners and didn’t seem like she wanted to be the president at all. There was even talk that maybe she went to Miami to be in charge of the franchise over there which I think would be a great way for her to remain involved in Ecomoda without having to run into Betty and Armando all the time.

Anyway, this already got so long, but wanted to say again that I live for all your ysblf content and you have a very interesting blog overall.

THIS MESSAGE MADE MY ENTIRE DAY THANK YOU SO MUCH!!! It always boggles my mind when ppl tell me they like or even read my opinions on things I watch/ read/ whatever looool to me it feels like I'm just screaming into the void (not that i mind i have tons of fun doing it lol) and it absolutely makes me so hype when I can interact with others about the same media.

Now on to Marcela! I'm not going to say that she was not hurt or a victim AT ALL in the story, there are times I genuinely feel for her especially in the end when she realizes that Armando had the affair with Betty and she STILL wants to be with him anyway. That's why she gets me more upset as the story progresses bc I'm like GIRL U DO NOT DESERVE THIS YOU ARE SMART BEAUTIFUL SUCCESSFUL A SUPPOSEDLY STRONG WOMAN U DONT NEED TO GO THROUGH ALL THIS FOR A MAN WHO DOES NOT WANT U U SHOULDN’T NEED TO FIGHT TOOTH AND NAIL TO HANG ON TO A MAN. But unfortunately Marcela is her own worst enemy and more than anything I think her character shows that even a rich, beautiful, successful woman can be doomed in love. It's not only "ugly" girls who suffer when finding partners. But yes the few times I feel sorry for her and the manipulation she goes through with Armando are almost swept away by her own choices and the person she is. Classist, Elitist, a bully. I think that's something even Armando sees and even when he wasn't in love with Betty or even dating her Marcelas treatment of her since she got the secretary position was what lifted away the last mist of love he felt for her and u can see that in his interactions with her. Overall, Marcela while I do not particularly like her, is such a complex dimensional character

[dollydancer]

Okay ethical dilemma time:

I am going to disneyland next week. I am supportive of Palestine, and I would normall boycot the bad companies, but this one is kinda unavoidable bc i cant cancel the trip bc its a big whole thing with family

On my tiktok i had been making content for the outfits i prepared for the trip, and i was originally planning on filming content during the trip, because im trying to be a content creator and all

So the dilema is i dont want to come off as fake supportive and make content and promote disney but like thats like 40% of my content already so idk what to do

I feel the correct answer is to just not make any content, but this was like my next big content making ability.

I know being ethical is much more important than growing myself and i dont want to grow at the blood of other people

It's just been gnawing at me for the past two weeks and im just really frustrated at everything going on in the world and idk there really isnt way to express this frustration with anyone without people coming for your neck.

Like i get the there is worse things going on and you should be upset and spend your money at those things an i get that, my personal sadness about not filming food is not more important than dying people.

I dont even make money bc im no where near making money of content.

And im not looking for sympathy or praise or a lecture i just needed to talk about this somewhere

[unidentifiedfuckingthing]

ultimately what you would call a very First World Problem but it really irks me that npd is the hot scapegoat of the hour to the point you literally cant say shit good or bad without feeling like its gonna get implicated in the global panopticon of people weaving these worldwide basal magic empath vs demonic possession narcissist put on this earth to suck energy etc etc etc stories because i have things i WOULD like to say otherwize. which is probably like, im only thinking about these things bcause the topic is already constantly coming up so maybe i wouldnt actually be thinking about saying these things otherwise anyway. have you guys ever noticed what browsing youtube logged out in an incognito window looks like. if you watch certain types of videos that clearly mostly get a young audience its all the stupid like I GOT MY DOG TO CUT 3000 POUNDS OF SLIME WITH A RED HOT KNIFE (POPPYS PLAYTIME ASMR) type videos but when you watch anything other than that its incredibly sinister. like, especially things that i get the impression mostly very old ladies watch. sewing videos. product blurbs that for some reason the company always uploads to youtube and theyve got 5 subscribers and 260 views. you start scrolling down the recommendation feed and its literally all like PREACHER SLAMS IGNORANT NONBELIEVER-- HE HAS NO RESPONSE TO THE REAL WORD OF GOD! and an unflattering picture of a jewish guy or a muslim guy. FIVE TEXTBOOK SIGNS OF NARC ABUSE- HOW TO SHUT THEM DOWN AND REMOVE THEIR POWER! THESE THREE TESTIMONIES OF PEOPLE WHO DIED AND CAME BACK TO LIFE (REAL!) and BINAURAL JESUS WAVES TO GET CLOSER TO ACHIEVING YOUR GOALS 512 HZ ANGEL NUMBER like you start realizing they dont even need fox news youtube is literally just feeding them this even after watching a single video about sewing. or crochet. or fucking whatever. and im sure its the same with every other social media like how facebook got busted for influencing political views and turning people far right and they never actually changed anything. but like what are you gonna do about that......... its a peculiar hollow feeling. theres already so many people whove made it their lifes work to make people think insane stupid shit but they hardly even need to because The Algorithm finds maximal success in leading people down insane paths so you dont even need to worry about the bad actors with bad intent. the Cosmic Will Of The Monopolized Internet is doing it all for them so cleanly and efficiently. anyway though after 4 years apart ive been realizing more and more how much *** was, like, somehow so characteristically textbook npd. but like, its like ohh yeah. now i understand the link between all of the insanely fucked up stuff i know is true about you and why you acted this way toward people. like, i knew them so well and at the time it still felt like a black box that i could never piece together with the rest of anything and i never knew how to act. which may have been calculated and protective or may have just been how that goes. but its like, i dont even want to say that where people can hear because it feels like the word narcissist just gets replaced with a fuzzy red ringing in peoples ears. like i cant talk candidly about just finding closure and sympathy and understanding like, posthumous to one of the most important relationships in my life because people are just gonna hear it like im delivering a swift kick in the ribs instead. its fucked

[ravenbloodshot]

Ryujin- Itzy...Reputation Amongst Idols 🌊

Idols see her as a girl that fights for herself and those she cares about. Like the kind of girl to protest for what she believes in (she may be an environmentalist or like believes in saving the planet) and she would not hold herself back from arguing against opposing sides to her beliefs

Idols notice she has a unique duality of feminine and masculine energies, she can play both sides of the coin and she plays it well

Idols think she hungers for vast experiences, wants to surround herself with different things and ppl. She may have interest in multiple avenues, especially acting, she may be in some type of acting school/class and shes preparing herself to enter the acting industry

Ryujin may be in college, or like I said above, in an legitimate class for acting. Idols see her grind and may be wary of her possibly coming out on top in the future

Idols think she has a lot of knowledge on the ins and outs of the industry (business wise etc), but guards what she knows very heavily. Even with her members, she may never share useful knowledge of the industry even if it may benefit others to know. Ryujin is the type to have no problem giving her friends money or taking them out to eat, but she doesnt want to let them know things that can empower them to make a lot of money just as her, she rather be on a higher pedestal finance wise than her friends.

Idols think shes narcissistic and arrogant

Idols see her as quite controlling and tyrannical, she may help ppl and expect praise or recognition afterwards. Also, she seen as someone with low level of sympathy/empathy aka she cares less than she shows. They think she doenst help ppl from a genuine place but from a place of "this is what they want from me" and lowkey bothered the entire time shes helping

Shes seen as someone who doenst take care of her health well, may have unhealthy eating habits/diets and of course there is consequences for neglecting your body and shes probably dealing with the consequences now. (You guys would probably never know this since her big company controls the media, but she may faint a lot or have to go to the hospital for IV drips, idols talk with each other so they of course know/see more than fans do and they know this about her)

Ryujin is seen as a confident girl when it comes to love, very responsive and active when going after lovers. Shes probably very conscious of cameras/paparazzi when dating or going out, so they see her as quite paranoid. Won't go to certain places if she knows there is even a possibility of cameras

They dont see her as faithful, the type to ditch others when bored actually

Money on My Mind by UPSAHL is a song that fits this readings energy

[onchyart]

Top 5 scenes which showed exactly how crooked Will Graham is too.

*shaking your hand* you are in a right place, hop in, and I will tell you a story

put “top 5” anything in my ask and i will answer ok go

To summarize if you are dont want to read the whole thing: Will Graham's awfulness is not Hannibal's fault. Will was not seduced by evil, he got liberated by it. Do you ever had a friend that pretty alright on their own, but getting instantly 10 times worse when they are in a company, they want to impress? That's Will, and in a s3, he doesn't even need Hannibal around

I will start with 5, to show escalation

5. 01/07 Sorbet

-Seems to me he was humiliating someone. -Yeah, he was humiliating Jack. -Did it work? -I'd say it worked really well.

We can recall that their first eye-to-eye interaction (first episode) got warm and personal because Hannibal covertly mocked Jack's perception of Will as something delicate and special. Here, Will, smiling and having a great time while they are discussing one of Jack's great losses, how effectively Ripper got to him. No sympathy spared for their mutual friend. Petty cruelty on display 4. 02/09 Shiizakana

-Your psychiatrist came to visit me at the hospital before my trial. -Dr. Du Maurier. -She told me she believed me. -She knew there were others like me. Did you kill her?

Okay, what do you do with the person who bravely boosted your confidence in your own mind while everyone else is just given up on your side of the story? Sell them out to the most dangerous man you know ofc. And all of this because you don't feel like a special boy anymore. Unchecked jealousy +petty cruelty+ harming innocent (as far as he knows) person

3. 03/02 Secondo

-Are you here to take someone from him? -If I were like Hannibal… I would've killed you already. Cooked you… ate you… and fed what was left of you to him.That's what he would do. -You've given that some thought.

Will is indirectly threatening a woman, he doesn't know, who's help he wants and who is living alone, without any support. Chiyoh knows how to handle herself, but what he is doing is unnecessary cruel and has no meaning beyond making her uncomfortable and on edge. Plus, to show how well he knows Hannibal (and she doesn't). Once again, unchecked jealousy + petty cruelty+ harassing innocent (as far as he knows) person.

Intermission + honorable mentions (it's important for later):

Will is trying to shoot the guy that crawls from inside a horse, not for Peter or Hannibal, but for his own sick pleasure.

Will is listening to Bedelia talk about "whimsy and having Hannibal confused in a dream", just to try to wake him up and tell the truth about how he feels (codependency and all that). Taking Hannibal's side above anyone who is trying to catch him

Will, while cornered,w/o even looking at Jack, confessing, how he wanted to run away with Hannibal. He could phone Jack and ask him to wait, so they could be together against our guy. But no, Jack goes without a warning and nearly dies, because Will is more comfortable betraying him than a serial killer, they were trying to catch this whole time.

Will is telling Alana to fuck off from the house she is grieving in, because he is busy with his imaginary friends.

Will saying "Good for Jack" with disdain when Alana tells him about the state of his friend, who was trying to save him from getting his head open.

2. 03/11 ...And the Beast from the Sea

-Jack Crawford, fisher of men, watching my cork move against the current. You got me again. Hannibal told me where to find him.He knows. He knows who the Dragon is. He probably treated him.

Okay, we established that Will did everything to make Jack suspicious of him. And now he is getting caught red-handed, conspiring with his boy best friend, keeping important stuff to himself. And Will is enjoying it too, covertly mocking Jack to his face. While writing fanfiction in real time about Hannibal and the Dragon's relationship. People are dying, Will. Unchecked jealousy + petty cruelty.

1.03/12 The Number of the Beast is 666

-Unless you have a professional voice to legitimize what you're saying.

-Someone to hide the wire on the snare. Are you volunteering?

WIll is very entertained by the motion of Alana getting mutilated by the Dragon (he had frightening hallucination a sec before about this very thing but now, it's okay, apparently). He will fuck over anyone if it is suitable enough for his purposes. He needs a pet to lure Dragon out. Big time cruelty+ harming (very much) innocent person.

Conclusion: it was hard to compress the whole thing in a top 5, because as much as Will is trying to help save people, he willingly became a person, who will harm the ones he is closest to, if he can get away with it. In Hannibal's presence he felt liberated enough to say some wild stuff, but s3 showed us, that he doesn't really need his favorite psychiatrist, he just wants him and everyone else can kick rocks. So, he and Hannibal, at their cores, are the same, selfish, cruel, petty, insecure creatures, whom I love.

[delimeful]

(dont) take this the wrong way (6)

warnings: misunderstandings, trauma responses, illness

-

Patton and Roman went in circles for a moment on who should carry Logan, eventually settling on Patton, since Roman was the quicker between the two of them and they were alarmingly unsure of what the small mer was planning— or how negatively that plan would affect the little guy.

Roman couldn’t help but be a little jealous anyways at the sight of the human pressing his tiny face against the palm of Patton’s hand, still mostly unconscious despite the jostling. It was unfairly adorable, and he never got to hang out with humans that weren’t terrified or fled at the sight of him.

Logan had started off scared too, sure, but after they’d cleared that little misunderstanding up, the human had shooed him away with an itty bitty stern look.

He’d listened, of course, he certainly owed these two that much, but internally he was gleeful at how bold Logan was when hanging out with them. Maybe he’d even come back and they’d learn more of his language and he could needle the nerd into telling him more about surface life—!

But of course, that required that he get better first.

It seemed obvious now, with the feverflush to his skin and the subtle tremor even as he slept, but the signs were so tiny on him, they might not have noticed for ages yet. He was inordinately grateful that the little mer had brought it to their attention, even if it also meant learning just how lowly the little guy thought of them.

When they returned from the air room, the tiny mer hadn’t twitched from his spot, though he looked as though he wanted to vibrate right out of his skin.

Agonizingly, he only seemed to get more stressed at the sight of Patton’s cupped hands, gaze darting between them for a moment before he flitted forwards and pressed an earfin to the makeshift airseal, staying in place only long enough to catch the sound of Logan’s little raspy breaths.

Roman opened his mouth, arms sliding up to gesture, and the tiny mer shot all the way back across the room like quicksilver. He had a moment to realize that with that speed, they’d never have ‘caught’ him in the first place if he hadn’t been trapped by that net, and then he felt immensely guilty for clearly spooking the little guy.

“How about you lead the way?” he asked, trying to distract their flighty little friend before he started tearing hair out. “The exit is one cave down, we’ll follow to wherever you think is the best place.”

He was shaking his head before Roman even finished. “No, I’ll follow, you— whoever stole him, you have to take him back to that beach. You remember... right?”

Roman turned to glance at Patton, who nodded firmly. “I’ll get us started then, kiddo.”

He cradled his cupped hands to his chest and swam deeper, easily twisting through the exit tunnel into the open ocean. Roman nodded at the little mer and followed, hoping that the little guy wouldn’t just vanish.

Only a moment later, he flitted out after them, and Roman caught the desperate longing that crossed his expression for a moment at the sight of wide open terrain. It vanished after a single glance at Patton���s cargo, replaced by a grim scowl.

If it weren’t for the human, Roman had the feeling that the mer would have turned and vanished, too quick and small for them to ever see again.

Instead, he hovered carefully out of lunging reach as they traveled, watching their every move with narrowed eyes. Every unconscious twitch of Patton’s hands seemed to make him flinch in response, as though he was expecting something horrible would happen to the human at any moment.

Normally, Roman would have been quite offended about this implied slight against Patton’s character, since his friend was just about the gentlest guy he knew. With circumstances what they were, however, he remained silent. He knew that this wasn’t really a reflection on Patton, but rather someone else entirely, a phantom presence that was still haunting the small mer.

Roman let out a breath of relief when they finally resurfaced, a human beach visible nearby. Patton unfolded his hands as soon as they were above water, and they both peered nervously down at the human.

“He doesn’t look like he’s gotten any worse,” Patton murmured, angling his hands so their small tagalong could see as well. “This is fairly close to the beach I found him at!”

“It seems the early hour has served us well,” Roman added, making sure not to gesture as he usually would. “There doesn’t appear to be anyone else around. Should we set him on the beach?”

The tiny mer jolted when he realized that they were both looking to him, flitting back and forth in nervous motions. “Uh, yeah— Yes. But be careful. And make sure you put him high enough that the tide can’t drag him back.” He continued in an undertone, “With his luck, it’ll be ages before another human appears.”

“I’ll do it!” Patton announced, already pushing forwards to shallower waters. “Roman’s likely to beach himself if he goes too far inland, and that’s shore to make things difficult!”

Roman groaned, flicking his fingertips at the siren. “That was one time! One-time incidents don’t qualify for pun-based bullying!”

Patton’s muffled laughter got quieter as he shifted to lay vertically, scooting forwards until his chest was scraping the sand and his arm could extend to set Logan gently against the beach incline. Logan’s head lolled to the side, but he seemed unlikely to go anywhere, and was in plain sight of anyone passing by.

Roman glanced down at the tiny mer, who was staring over the waves at the human, finally looking a little less stiff and stressed.

Patton wiggled back until he could tread water upright again, sharing a little cheer with Roman at a successful quest. Their guest’s tension returned immediately, that little shadowed gaze snapping back onto them.

Roman and Patton exchanged a glance, uncertain of how to proceed, but before anyone could speak, they heard a small, hacking cough.

Logan was awake, just a little too late for him or Patton to say goodbye. He probably wouldn’t have understood, but it would have been nice anyhow. Roman watched as he rolled to something resembling upright, his limbs trembling weakly. He was looking back and forth, not just noticing the new decor, but searching.

Roman glanced down to the small mer, who had set his shoulders and continued looking firmly away from the beach. He sunk a little lower in the water, trying to make eye contact. “Would you like to go and say goodbye before he leaves? Or, tell him what’s going on, perhaps?”

He shook his head once, sharply, and Roman felt a little pang of sympathy at the way his ear fins kept angling back at every noise the human made.

Logan was calling out now, the same word repeated at increasing levels of urgency. “Virgil?”

The mer still refused to glance back. “I’m not breaking the deal. You upheld your half, and you’re going to keep upholding it, and I’ll uphold mine. I’m not going anywhere.”

He’d drifted closer to Roman as he spoke, but it didn’t feel like any sort of progress. He’d tucked all those extra flares and frills away, smoothing himself down as though he was calm— or resigned.

Roman glanced up at the beach, where Logan still called. As he listened, that little voice cracked midword, desperation slowly turning to despair. He moved to cup his hand underneath the little mer, his heartstrings pulling at the way he let out a slow, shaky breath and closed his eyes, even as Roman lifted him up from the ocean entirely.

Patton opened his mouth as if to speak, but Roman met his eyes and shook his head, promising with his gaze alone that he knew what he was doing. His friend glanced down at the little guy worriedly, but held his tongue.

With one strong push, Roman slid up to the beach’s edge, grimacing slightly as the water became shallower and shallower. His arms were longer than Patton’s, though, and so he had little trouble reaching over and depositing his handful of seawater & tiny mermaid directly next to Logan.

“Virgil!” the human said, relieved, and he reached out to latch onto the mer, confirming Roman’s name suspicions.

‘Virgil’ had yelped like a baby seal upon being upended onto the beach, and he was now blinking between Roman and Logan with an air of extreme bewilderment.

“Virgil,” Logan said again, now in a very different tone. He wore a tiny, furious expression as he launched into what sounded like a somewhat-feverish lecture. He also reached over and pulled the mer into a hug, confirming Roman’s ‘he had no idea Virgil was going to pull this’ suspicions.

Roman was so right about so many things today. Everyone should listen to him all the time!

He wriggled back a little, intending to give them some privacy to talk, and made absolutely no progress. Uh oh. He glanced down at the others.

“I am just a little bit, slightly, somewhat, completely beached again,” he told them, his face growing hot. “I hope you two appreciate that I did this even though Patton is absolutely never going to let me live this down.”

“Need me to reel you back in, kiddo?” Patton called, right on cue. Roman sighed, planting his face in the crook of his elbow for a moment.

“Just a moment,” he called, and then met Virgil’s wide eyes from over Logan’s shoulder. “It seems like there’s still much for you both to discuss, my undersized acquaintances. We shouldn’t stay so close to land for long, but I imagine you’ll feel better if you keep him company until someone comes for him, right?”

Logan’s brief spark of energy seemed to be flagging, but every time Virgil attempted to disengage from the hug, he clung on tighter. After a brief moment of hesitation, Virgil conceded to the clinginess and simply nodded at Roman, still half-braced for something awful.

Roman gave him his most reassuring smile. “Then that’s what you’ll do. You know where to find me or Patton, if you need us!”

“Really?” Virgil asked, hands fisting in the back of Logan’s shirt. “You’ll let me-- you’ll leave us alone? Just like that?”

Roman nodded, lips twisted in sympathy. “Just like that.”

Virgil’s eyes narrowed suspiciously, fins flattened against the sides of his head-- and then he took a deep breath, loosened his grip just slightly, and nodded back.

[theredsuzuran]

Douma x reader - Innocence

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Took me a long time to upload a new content am so sorry for the delay I was really busy with school assignments therefore I cannot manage the time to write. I apologize in advance for any grammatical errors on my behalf, I hope you enjoy.

Warning : Dark themes like gore, blood and violence, degradation and swearing, mature content.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The moon shone brightly above the sky as it's light leak through the branches illuminating the famous building of the eternal paradise cult. A new set of followers rushed into the dwelling in hopes of fulfilling their selfish desires, diminishing their agonies and enriching their possessions. However a particular human with her tattered kimono seem not to be interested to convey anything although the people around her would die to witness even a glimpse of the charismatic leader as for now she was busy running along the wide long corridors

The sound of thumping footsteps echoed throughout the building as a herd of followers attempted on catching the miscreant who disrupted the peaceful atmosphere prevailing over the supreme cult. The already annoyed and frustrated people were all worked up to catch the energetic human who on the other hand have thoughts of escaping this place they called paradise. If only she was careful enough to notice her mother's strange behavior soon as they entered the place but how can you possibly blame an innocent little girl like her, or so she thought. Afraid she might lose sight of her treacherous mother who abandoned her just moments ago she desparety stumbled her way out although that didn't concerned her simple thinking process but that's exactly how complicated the situation was.

Turning one last time to look behind if those weird people were still following her or not when suddenly she bumped into a Tall muscular figure standing infront of her soft delicate frame she must have missed him approaching while focusing on looking behind. "Please just leave me alone!" The girl fumed coherently still overwhelmed by the amount of people rushing towards her like waves something that she was not accustomed with as for eighteen years she lived indoors interacting rarely with anyone and playing with dolls most of the time.

"Watch your tongue brat" one of the men standing beside the tall man spoke with disgust hinted in his voice. "Crouch down you insolent woman, where's your gratitude it's because of lord Douma's benevolence that you are still here or you'd be rotting in the street thanks to your mother", the people around her started whispering and murmuring behind her back but she was not bother since her senses were filled with newfound wrath how dare they insult your angel like mother? No longer able to contain your anger you shouted with tears "Then take me to my mother, I don't want to stay here alone".

"Your mother abandoned you here so shut up and deal with it, now move your way for master" the man grunted irritatedly motioning the other followers to grab her and take her away.

"No don't touch me" she wiggled under their grip rushing towards douma blocking him from entering the room by grabbing his arm tightly "I am not going anywhere until I know where my mother is" she cried loudly making the demon flinch with surprise, how pitiful the creature looked in his polychromatic eyes. He have seen many humans crying before him for obvious reasons which honestly have become his monotonous routine but somehow this girl acted quite weird being her age, interesting him enough to investigate. As he was about to speak the man beside him pushed the girl hashly making her lose her balance and fall on the wooden floor.

"How dare you touch master with your filthy hands bitch" he lift his hand to slap her tight in the face but someone grabbed his wrist just in time to save the girl from further humiliation.

"Silence" all the questioning glances, judging looks and whispering stopped at once as douma spoke nonchalantly making the latter shiver in regret.

"I am sorry douma sama" the man uttered in pure horror having no intentions to displease his beloved lord. "I was-"

"I don't want to see that happen again, understood?" He replied coldly still maintaining his wide smile as the previous chaos shifted into complete hush. The man lowered his head down with shame nodding silently. Douma averted his attention and glanced at the figure underneath making the girl jolt a bit but his once frightening demeanor changed into a cheerful and optimistic one in matter of second upon seeing her.

"Please take her to my chamber and treat her wounds" the man clapped with a wide grin plastered on his face. A group of female servants came rushing to help picking her up. The girl being too bewildered did not protested and simply follow his tone as if she was hypnotized by his neatly decorated persona.

The girl was immediately taken away without delay and as per douma he needed to attend his cult duties. First of all she was washed and changed into a beautiful kimono as soon as she stepped inside, then she was escorted into a room filled with antiques and lavish items which she have never seen. Her face lit up with fascination as she began venturing those decorative pieces.

"Looks like you have ease down a bit, good good" A familiar tone struck in her ears startling her a bit only to turn back and view the handsome cult leader although it was a bit strange because she did not heard anyone approaching.

"Aww did I scared you?" He laughed covering his face with golden fans.

"No I was just- you came in without a warning, I was taken aback" she explained blushing trying her best not to act immature to which douma laughed uncontrollably as he found this human's expression adorable say entertaining in his words.

"D-dont laugh at me" she pouted crossing her arms in the attempt.

"I am sorry (y/n), you really amuse me" he replied still grinning. However there was a moment of awkward silence between them as he uttered her name abruptly.

"I didn't tell you my name.." after a long pause she replied to him with a confuse look in her face.

"I know everyone's name who are living under my supervision including yours besides what kind of cult leader I am if I don't have basic information about my fellow followers. Oh look I have been talking to you without giving the chance to let you talk my bad" he laughed again waving his fans creating another awkward situation. Causing you to sweatdrop on his remark.

"Say (y/n) how old are you?" to which she replied enthusiastically "I am 8 years old and will turn 9 soon"

"Ah you don't look like one" douma grinned closing his eyes in the process.

"Yeah I get that a lot" she remarked shyly.

"Your mother is one of my followers" he continued

"Really?" her eyes sparked with hope as she approached douma with anticipation grabbing his arms for the second time starling him, she really like holding hands eh? he have experiences like that but somehow this girl made him feel different so he allowed her but then she stopped halfway through her words "I really miss her it's been a week since she left me here" her voice dropped with sadness.

Douma felt no sympathy for humans or anything as such, he have learned to fake his emotions from a very tender age eversince he was born to the extent that even seeing his mother killing her husband mercilessly failed to evoke feelings within. He clearly did not understand what she was feeling he just stared at her with a blank expression only to replace it quickly with a grim look even faking few tears. "(Y/n) chan you know its okay you will still have me" he patted the girl in an attempt to comfort her.

"Friends?" (Y/n) replied between her tears.

"If that's how you want us to be" douma smiled at her gently shocking himself for a second because he didn't think of smiling?

Things escalated soon after that incident, (y/n) was a kind and compassionate person from inside and out and in not time the cult followers started loving her presence. As often douma would let her accompany him and most of the time she stayed by his side following him everywhere and he didn't mind that at all moreover he appreciated her company. (Y/n) was like a fresh bud to him who depicted innocence and purity he loved spoiling her with expensive gifts yet she never showed signs of greediness and genuinely appreciated his thoughtfulness slowly forgetting the past life she was in and cherishing her friendship with douma. At first she was reluctant and didn't like getting so much attention but in the course of time she bonded better with everyone and was quite content with the life she was leading. As for douma he began to depend on (y/n) to the point that not seeing her face for even one day would make him go insane and he didn't understand why not like he want to because all he cared about was how she made him feel so many varieties of pleasant emotions he wish he could feel. Eating her was out of context.

However all good things must come to an end for he is someone to not rest in peace after the sin he have committed for centuries. Seeing douma paying her more attention, spoiling her with a ravish lifestyle and even letting her stay by his side all the time made some of his cult members terribly envious they wanted to punish her for taking their chances of stealing the spotlight. There was this one room that he forbade his followers to enter for obvious reasons and specifically for (y/n) because he didn't want to repeat the same mistake. This was exactly what they wanted (y/n) to do break the rules and Douma's trust. Like that there would be no more favouritism on her with others.

"Ah (y/n), there you are" one of the female member approached her one fine morning.

"Yes how may I help you?" She asked cheerfully

"Lord douma have asked for your presence in the forbidden room tonight and he said its urgent"

"Aren't we all prohibited to go inside"

"Oh (y/n) it's true master have arrived today and he wants your presence"

Upon hearing that news her heart elated with happiness, it has been two weeks since he last saw douma around and she missed him but something felt off about the whole situation douma always sees (y/n) first before tending his followers then why did he not come meet her did he not miss her like she did?

She was lost in her thoughts until she found two hands waving and snapping infort of her face.

"Don't be late, okay?" With that said the female hurried back into other room leaving (y/n) behind even though the situation seem kinda odd maybe douma was busy afterall.

At night (y/n) went into the restricted area. She stood infront of the shoji door in absolute dilemma debating whether or not to enter the room or go back. There was her desire of meeting douma on one hand and not breaking his trust by entering the room on the other. In the end she decided not to but as she was turning back she heard someone grunting in pain behind the closed doors being a compassionate person, she decided to open the door and enter into the darkness adjusting her eyes in the process, a pungent smell hit her nostrils making her cover her mouth and to her absolute terror the scene infront of her made her puke in disgust.

A pile of Mutilated bodies, mostly women laid around lifelessly on the blood stained tatami mattress. Many having no limbs, some headless and organs missing from their body as if someone had ate all of that. The whole room was a mess full of unfortunate people. She felt sick and began crawling down her way back from the corpses. However she felt a tight grip on her left foot upon looking down she witness the sight of a woman her intestines oozing out of her stomach begging for help. (Y/n) stood there perplexed unable to say anything chocking through tears.

"I told you not to come here, why?" (Y/n) turned her head violently to see douma standing in a distance his countenance cold and sinister evident that he was highly displeased upon seeing his innocent flower disobeying his instructions.

"It's not... like... what you see" (y/n) cried fearfully but douma didn't seem to buy it well in a blink of an eye she found herself in Douma's arms as he aggressively dragged her out of the room.

"What's going on douma" no word came out from the usual lively douma.

"It's hurting me your grip" no reply again to which she forcefully tried to stand still with all her strength. This time douma stopped his features hidden under his bangs making her unable to figure the expression he was carrying.

"Is this why douma forbade us to enter the room" no reply

"Are you responsible for murdering those innocent people?" No reply

"DOUMA" she shouted

"Why you want to join them?" Douma finally looked at her his eyes glowing dangerously proving his existence to be something unnatural. (Y/n's) eyes widen at his remarks as tears rolled down her visage.

"I hate you.." she murmured

"What?" He tilted his head letting his guard down a bit at her hurtful comments.

"I HATE YOU" she pushed douma roughly and flew from the place running deep into the forest for she knew who he was and what he is capable of doing. Tearing down she constantly reminisce the moments she shared but she cannot allow herself to sympathize his heinous crimes. Why is it that the people I love are always taken away from me? She thought. Exhausted from running she halted in order to catch her breath while glancing back to see if he was following, there was no one indeed so a sudden feeling of relief gushed in her body. However turning her head back she saw him standing inches apart from her face which made her shiver and fall onto the knees.

"Why are you running away from me (y/n)" he said apatheticly his head lowered at her level. She did not reply and stayed quite.

"Is it true that you don't love me after all the things I did for you?" Covering his face with one hand his eyes glowing under the moonlight a look of dejection written on his face. There was complete silence in the forest except the sound of rustling trees.

"Answer me" holding her face now firmly he growled making her flinch under his breath. In one last desperate attempt (y/n) tried to stab douma with a tree branch she found laying on the ground but unfortunately douma was faster and easily dodged the attack and in a swift motion he hit her with immense strength causing her fragile little body to tremble in pain as she coughed mucus mixed with blood.

"How foolish of you" he crouched down her height staring intensely at the quivering figure of the miserable girl. As for (y/n) her body ached but more was the tightness in the chest that she was experiencing in the moment.

He pulled her by the hair roughly making her scream in pain although at this point all she could manage with her cracking voice were inaudible screams.

"Why did you disobey me? (Y/n)..." who knew beneath that friendly kind face was hiding a undeniably deadly and calculative demon and at this point it was clear for her that he was anything but human.

"Who are you?" these few words manage to escape from her shaky lips in between low grunts.

"I am the leader of the eternal paradise cult"

"Wrong" to which he tightened his grip making her shriek again.

"You humans are so dumb believing in the existence of primordial deities where in reality its just a myth, a fairytale, created for pleasuring the sufferings of mere human. Being superior than you mortals I wanted to make these pitiful existence happy and that's why I was born and what you saw there" his lips curved into a cheeky smile revealing his deadly fangs creeping the shit out of the already scared girl. "I eat them so that they can always be with me and attain salvation" a sinister laughter escape from his mouth as he covered it with his golden fans. (Y/n) unable to process the new sets of information knots formed in her stomach making her sick in the guts.

"I ate your mother too, oh she was ungrateful after all the things I did to her just like you" protruding her eyes with pure shock she felt her veins popping out and blood boiling in pure rage.

"You are a monster, you think your stupid morals would persuade people to think like you do, I despise you douma I thought we were friends and you took away the one I cherished the most?"

"You think your mother loved you?" Douma snapped. The duality of this was man was insane, all the things he does or says are plastic.

"She never cared for your life, you want to know why? I will tell you since you insist" douma dragged her out of forest holding a fistful of her hair tightly inflicting great discomfort to the girl while he continued with his harsh statements and deliberate insults.

"You were just a burden, behaving like a fucking child with the alluring body of yours"

"No my mother promised me..she would protect me.. you are lying"

"While you were crying everyday inside my shrine that lowly woman enjoyed her life indulging in adultery with various cult members leaving her sick husband and mentally retarded daughter in the dark" every word he uttered spread vemon into her ears.

"Still she wanted more and more and more, what a greedy whore" douma continued.

"Do you know how much difficult it was for me to control myself around you? While you sway your hips and act innocently making those hungry men lust over you, how much dumb can you be?"

"What do you mean I don't understand.. douma"

"I did everything I can for you yet you remain ungrateful, disrespectful? Well guess its runs in your blood and I thought you are innocent but it turns out that you are just like the rest of them, naive"

Her eyes widened with every hurtful remarks he made about her and she did not understand why she felt that way shouldn't she be resentful towards him for killing her beloved mother but here she is weeping constantly because douma was treating her like he never did before.

"But that's fine (y/n) I can not bring myself to hurt you I love you and we shall always be together whether you like it or not" nothing reached in her ears anymore as her body grew numb. Her eyes shut as she carried the unbearable pain in her heart slowly loosing consciousness and remaining sanity.

It would have been easier if she died but alas a mere human like her is doomed at his mercy.